#I cant decide how buff to draw him

[c0nes]

todays elias

[someone-always-cares]

chapter 4, page 23

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[image description: an sac webcomic page. “i would have been marked late if i went through the front, so i cut corners and took the back door. window. whatever. i was actually about to fake a call for mr whats-his-face for a distraction so i could climb in. unitl you showed up” lewis explains as the two boys keep walking.

“glad to help.” says rami, tilting his head confused, but almost teasing.

“my hero” replies lewis, pressing the back of his hand to hs head in mild false dramatics. rami laughs at this, much to lewis’s delight. he stares at rami, eyes full of wonder at the others boys laughter, the panel background pink and sparkly.

“a knight in shining armour!” he proclaims, dialing up the dramatics, one hand on his chest, the other gently reaching up to the ceiling, where he pictures a spotlight shining down with a flurry of flower petals, while rami continues to laugh. it is notable that page has three rows of panels, the backgrounds of said panels form the three stripes of the bisexual pride flag. end id]

if you missed it last time, heres the bonus pride drawing from earlier this week!

lewis @ anyone: i dont trust you fuck off

also lewis, @ anyone whos both nice and gives off at least vaguely queer vibes: ok silly time activated

also important note: i decided to put the mental health resources on a permanent page on the blog, listed here, or if youre on the blog its listed next to the cast page

anyway: these organizations and charities could still really use your money right now

cash bail funds (us and toronto) | MN organizations | a masterpost of BLM links | various black lgbt+ funds | BLM UK | runnymede | stop hate uk | racial justice network | BLM carrd | black lives matter doc | long list of black trans groups

several of these also include useful resources eg petitions, information about protests, educating yourself and others, ect, so worth a look even if you cant donate

or if you cant spare money:

passively donate money via youtube ad revanue | tab for a cause | cartoonists database

fun fact i realised a bit back, esp when thinking of the current few page: not sure how to put it in words but i guess that rami tends to think in words but lewis tends to think in pictures?

[image description: a compliation of lewis from various pages of the comic, all with him thinking pretty visially, eg “worlds worst excuse trophy”, the part from him picturing himself holding up a boombox “except the song is him, screaming”, a cd with “now thats what i call a huge smartass: new hit singles by some dumbass”, himself buff and grinning, and a buffering logo. end id]

[image description: a compliation of rami from various pages of the comic, all with him thinking mostly with words, of him trying to escape from his restraints and dukes bathroom, and his thoughts overwhelming him trying to talk to cap’s mothers, and failing to think of something to say to cam while hugging her. end id]

unintentional so not a set rule but it seems to be there! neat!

If I were to brush off the ol' art student bullshitting skills I could also frame it as how they plan things out. As in Rami does plan and Lewis doesn't. Eg Rami actually plans stuff like how to defeat the water guy and also trying to plan his way out of a kidnapping situation even while bloody and concussed but Lewis on the other hand does not plan at all. Terrible at lying on the spot and also climbs drainpipes and buildings without going hey maybe I could just take the fucking stairs perhaps

[obeymematches]

Heya! I hope you’re not too swarmed by requests and that you’re staying healthy 💕 I was hoping for an obey me matchup if that’s okay?

I’m a cis bi girl, ENTP/ENFP, Capricorn sun, Virgo moon, Sagittarius rising (if you’re into astrology these are helpful otherwise just ignore uwu) and a Gryffindor. I have short blonde-ish hair, kind of a golden color ig, with bangs and hazel eyes. I’m a bit tanned and very VERY buff because I do loads of sports, and so I’m also not curvy at all unless you count in *cough* 🍑 My clothing style is kind of a melting pot of cottagecore, dark academia and goth, it makes no sense ik. Also I may have light autism according to my parents, but I’ve never been taken to get diagnosed because my brother has a therapist and two would be too ✨expensive✨

I have two very distinct sides to me that are complete opposites. The only way I can describe it is a goblin qkfbkafjwk. At first glance lot of people think I’m scary looking because I’m quite tall and have a light case of RBS but they dont know it’s just because I’m really tired all the time :) I can appear as a bit stuck up, emotionless and as a big pp energy type of gal, which isnt necessarily false but it’s not completly true either. I would never hurt anyone or anything and if I even see a squashed bug I will absolutely cry. Besides that I am quite emotional but i keep it to myself to my best abilities. Although when I’m happy, I’m really hyper and do little dances/ hug and kiss everything in my proximity. I’m dirty minded, subconsciously flirty and not afraid to talk to people I like. On the other hand, if someone makes an advance on me I’ll assume it’s for a practical joke or that they’re not serious because why would you do that, I’m kind of shit 💫🧚‍♀️

I do tons of sports, mainly swimming and I was close to going to junior Olympics last year (I didnt manage it because I overworked, didnt tell anyone and ended up with an injured shoulder and knee whoopsies). I also pole dance and I love high impact sports like boxing and such even though I don’t have a lot of time to practice those. Some other stuff I can do is horse riding, archery, singing, writing, drawing, stuff like that.

I actually have good grades even though I dont really study. I procrastinate every single thing and end up with better results than the people who worked hard which always makes me feel guilty. I really want to study English literature at Oxford but HAHAHAHA dream on, it will probably never happen, my family isnt exactly the rich kind lol. I’m also Slavic so it isnt even my first language. The only subject I could never do in high school was physics because what the hell is that.

Some other stuff about me is that I’m a foodie and a good cook. I really like taking care of people and comforting them. In my friend group despite being the youngest I’m the eldest sibling friend, aka I enable chaos but never join in, just stirr up a mess and observe from afar 🤠I’m really calm in situations that freak people out, for example I had an infection and was in a lot of pain but i laughed my way through it and while i had my surgery i chatted with the nurse which was overall a good time even though I was half naked and numb from the waist down oop

Relationship wise, not to be horny on main but I just wanna hold hands and make out 🥺🥺 Feelings are terrifying and I may be demi/aromantic which makes me feel really shitty about myself, but maybe I’m wrong. Although to be honest, all I really wanna do is make people happy and pamper them and maybe get some cute jewelry every once in a while because I’m a crow and I like shiny things that I cant afford ✌I’m kind of submissive (not exclusively in a sexual way) in the fact that if my s/o asks me to do something, ANYTHING, I will do it if it kills me.

Anyways, I know this is a lot but I hope it’s okay and I didnt forget anything. Take all the time you need and have a great day 💕💕

———–

Hiiii, thank you for sending in a request, i’m sorry for being like half a year late!! :( :( 

I decided to match you with Diavolo! 

Both of you being extroverted is a good combination as he is a very curious demon, meaning there is always something to talk about. Both of you enjoying others’ company is a huge bonus - no need to worry about boundaries! 

big booty couple

Don’t worry about therapy being expensive, if anyone then a prince can afford that for sure - not just that, he is as wholesome as it can get so you wouldn’t have to metion it. He wants the best for his princess!!! don’t mind the cost!!! (unless him paying for you would make you uncomfy… just be open about it darling)

You mentioned that you have a sibling. In a healthy relationship it is important that your partner and your sibling(s) can get along, which might lead to conflict in some cases - BUT NOT IN THIS ONE i mean Dia might overwhelm your family (being a prince and a demon u know) but he would really try his best for you and that is what matters!  

(i feel appearig tired all the time fghjk) 

Anyways your appearance wouldn’t like scare him off ar anything. Man is huge and strong but also a very sweet himbo

He falls for your soft side ngl. Like you crying over a bug is just so cute how could he not- 

Oh darling he knows how to deal with ppl who keep to themselves.. have you ever heard about his 2 best men? 👀 you wouldn’t have much chance at keeping your emotions from him. He wants this relationship to be healthy!! he cares for you so much!!! also who couldve hurt you emotionally i mean who wants to mess with a future queen… it’s his personal job to make your feelings be safe!!!! 

its all worth it because spending time with a happy you is the best thing that has ever happened to him 

you’re fun and he’s fun and its unlimited fun!!!!! 

your confidence when it comes to talking to ppl you like is great!! not everyone dares talking to him, which makes him lonely

but yea he is going to be the one to make the first move 

you have the range when it coes to sports which is, again, nice as he is curious. you are going to have to help him try out all that!! 

super interested in your hobbies and activities, which is a green flag! definitely indulging. 

i think he is very supportive of your studies and he is going to do his best to support your studies at RAD. you could definitely impress him with your talent!!

 hopefully studying at his academy is as good as your dreams of oxford 

he can only hope that

i think he would appraciate your calm approach to life! he is also the same, although he has some baggage hidden under the surface  - but no worries, he is going to open up when he realizes that he can trust you with his emotions. 

you beig dependable is also a nice bonus, but he will have to make sure not to ask too much from you - knowing you are going to push yourself too much if needed. 

you two would do like healthy couples do - every week there is a date; either a chat over tea which he likes and wants to share with you, or doing sports with you, or going go-karting, honestly the options are unlimited with this combination. 

its imprtant that you both can depend on the other emotionally as well 

one conflict might be because of his title, and also because you both tend to keep emotions to yourself. once you two can overcome these i think it should be a very healthy and mature and fun relationship! i think he would definitely fall for you but if you wanted to stay just friends he would be down too. he just can’t lose the one living person he can actually be himself around, can he ? 

[launchsteinward]

This is for the MB challenge by @somebodyalreadytookthis2

Wednesday:

A Welcomed Guest

"Nighty?"

Nightmare's eyes lit up.

"Dream!" He exclaimed looking around, unable to locate his brother in the vast expanse of darkness.

Dream, quiet as a ninja, snuck up behind Nightmare and hugged him: the smaller yelping out in surprise. Instantly Blue and Cross had their swords draw: pointing at the mysterious silhouette that had just taken their Prince captive.

"Quite the pair of freinds you've made here." Dream commented, releasing the other from the hug.

"Don't surprise me like that! I almost had a heart attack you know" Nightmare pouted, showcasing a childish ness foreign to Cross and Blue but familiar to Dream.

"Uh, Nightmare... who exactly is this?" Cross asked finally getting a closer look at the stranger.

'Wait-

How come this one prince-

But THAT ONE ALSO PRINCE?'

Cross's (nonexistent) brain seemed to short circuit.

"Oh! This is my b-"

"Hi! I'm Dream. An adventurer from the capital and Nighty's childhood friend" Dream cut off Nightmare, secretly winking at his brother.

Catching Dream's drift, Nightmare nodded: deciding to fo along with Dream's antics.

"I see. Well, looks like we should look for a way out-"

Cross was cut off by the sound of insane laughter sending shivers up his spine.

The sound of a knife scraping against a surface could be heard as an ominous green glow reflected off the pillars in the hall.

Sharing a nod, the party : Dream included, hid behind a pillar and winced. It was blinding. A strong green light seemed to emerge from what appeared to be a skeleton demon holding a knife. Honestly, it was terrifying as both Cross and Blue felt their bones lock up.

'And now we run into a demon with flashlight eyes? Man, what's next? The teleportation kid from before shows up'

Blue sighed quietly before freezing at the bone chilling voice.

"Well, well, well, looks like we have some rather noisy guests. Ones that were not welcomed here at that. Tsktsktsk..." the Flashlight eyes demon clicked his nonexistent tongue, eyes still focused away from the party.

"We cant have that can we?"

'RUN' Cross could think as the demon looked him straight in the eyes and he was blinded.

Shutting his eyes that were searing in pain: Cross turned tail and ran. He could hear the thumps of his companions footsteps beside them as they turned and twisted around the pillars of the chamber.

Only when they were in complete darkness did they stop running and collapse to catch their breath.

They could still hear the demons voice snickering and purring: "come out come out where ever you are~" or " marco~... this is the part where you yell out polo you know?"

After catching their breath, the party shared a silent message: we're not going back there. And so they continued forward in silence: scared of the demon finding them. Well, everyone exept Dream who had only retreated only due to his brothers insistence and visible distress.

After a while they came aCross an odd looking lamp. It seemed to glow from the inside but the light only came out in golden blocks of light. 'Strange indeed'

That's when caught the sound of an oddly familiar tune coming up from infront of him. One that a cirtain trader had been humming a while back.

Smiling softly to himself, Dream followed the others as the sound got louder and they came across more lamps: some hanging from the ceiling by long chains and others just placed on the ground.

Eventually the say a gentle and welcoming soft light emerge from what appeared to be a stall, a wierd but oddly catchy song coming from it.

The stall was simple with a pink bar saying 'WELCOME TO INK'S SHOP', Ink presumably the skeleton monster sitting at the table with his head reasted on his hand and looking at the party smugly.

Cross couldn't help but gasp.

"Aren't you that potion seller I brought from a while back?"

"Maybe, maybe not. Who knows what really happened off screen" the trader shrugged out of habit, a small smile of relief unseen as his eyelights eyes Dream from the corner of his eye.

'Thank stars that brawny idiot wasn't dead yet'

"So, is there anything I could do for you? Maybe a potion, a charm? Maybe even my mystery box of useful items?" Ink asked, putting on a fake sellers voice cause Dream to snicker silently.

Ink count help but smile and secretly wink at the brute before getting on with the matter at hand.

"I- I cant help bit be curious of what's in the mysterious box of useful items. You swear that whatever's in there will come in handy right?" Cross asked, eyeing the grinning trader suspiciously.

"If course! I guarantee it!" Ink perked up.

'..Of course we're getting something so vague.' Blue smirked in amusement before his eye focused on the trader. There was something rather... intriguing about this 'Ink'.

Ink tensed up, blushing slightly in embarrassment as Blue stared at him. Of course he knew who Blue was, after all: you and your freinds wouldn't stop yelling about him.

Ink carefully placed a rather large pouch infront on Cross. After Cross had reluctantly given Ink the required gold, He took the pouch and opened it. Only to gasp in shock.

Cross turned away from his party, shoulders hunched as Ink watched in amusement.

Cross turned around suddenly, a pair of Ray-Ban visors taped to his skull. His smile was wide and full of child like excitement as he posed, showing off the glasses that only reflected the light coming off Ink's shop.

It was cute in a way: Ink found himself understanding why almost everyone seemed to adore the monochrome skeleton.

Dream couldn't help the genuine smile playing on his lips. Watching Cross do his wierd happy dance reminded his of how he would be as a child. Blue's reaction portraying Nighty's reaction at the time.

Dream knew instantly that this Blue character and himself would get along.

After calming down, Cross pulled out similar glasses to his own and distributed them among his party.

As he did, he couldn't help but pause as he gave Dream his pair. The other seemed strong, Cross couldn't help himself as he started analysing the others well toned (nonexistent) muscles. A few more bench presses and Cross was sure Dream would be ripped. Buff even.

Dream turned and started talking with Blue. He could feel Cross examining him as a light heat was apparent on his face. Blue noticed this instantly as a the strangely contagious heat grew on his cheekbones.

After putting on their glasses, they all thanked Ink: Dream giving the smaller a wink and earning a rainbow blush.

They all dreaded what was coming up. According to Ink, the exit to the chamber was in the direction they had come from: the direction of the demon.

___________________________________________

Dream was pumped. He couldn't wait to snap that demons neck. His anticipation for a good fight could be seen from miles away as they once again heard the sound of a knife scraping.

'This is going to be good' Dream could already feel the adrenaline tingling up his bones and sending a pleasurable shock through them.

Soon enough, they could make out the familiar glow of the demon. Putting on and securing their sunglasses, they prepared for the battle.

___________________________________________

Killer smirked. It seems that the prey had once again entered the lions den: this time of their own volition. It was hillarious.

He steadied his knife as he prepared to strike- grin maliciously wide. It was then that someone clocked him right on the jaw. Stumbling back a little, Killer looked at which one of these insects thought he was a lion and attacked him.

His eyes widened as he saw it was none other than the kidnapped prince himself. 'Did he get out of that cell on his own?' He thought before shrugging it off.

The boss told him not to kill the prince: he never said anything about hurting him.

"Well, well, who would have thought the beloved first prince would pack quite the punch" Killer mocked spitting out some purple substance.

Dream grinned as he attacked once more: the battle between the two commencing as the others just sat on the sidelines and watched. Not like they could do anything to interfere in such an intense battle.

Nightmare's eyes turned cyan as he drew back away from the group silently. Hiding behind a pillar somewhat close to the others he whispered an order before going back to the others: eyelights purple and an expression of confusion apparent on his face.

Killer pulled back as he tilted his head like an animal listening. "Gosh, dangit. And I was having soo much fun too. Well, looks like I gotta book my way out of here. Duty calls" the demon shrugged before disappearing with a pop.

Dream growled angrily as he yelled "COME BACK AND FIGHT ME COWARD! MY HONOUR HAS BEEN TARNISHED!"

Cross sighed in relief as he noticed a chest bot to far off from them. Motioning to the others as Nightmare calmed down he newly revealed to be brother, he approached the chest excitedly: wondering what loot he will get this time.

He opened it: only to find a black crown similar to the many he had found before.

"AGAIN!" Cross yelled in annoyance before tossing the crown behind him. Blue snickered as he explained the many crowns they had come across to Dream who couldn't help chuckling in response.

Nightmare's eyelights glazed over as he picked up the crown and put it in his inventory. He had a gut feeling that he may be needing it later.

___________________________________________

"Hi there"

The party jumped the the sudden voice: Dream luckily held back by Nightmare before he could instinctively punch whatever had just surprised him. Blue sighed. 'I knew I shouldn't have jinxed it'

"What the hell are you doing here kid?"

Criss asked eyeing the monochrome kid- Core was it?- from before.

"Just here to help you find your way" they shrugged before pointing at a rather short door. "Go through there and you'll find yourself on the second floor if the castle"

Nightmare and Dream looked at the child as though they were insane. Cross and Blue sighed before opening the small door, crouching and going inside: Nightmare and Dream hastily following after.

___________________________________________

"We need bait" Cross's voice echoed through the now empty and purple splattered hall. Thank God Dream was on their side.

"Yeah... but what?" Dream asked, shaking his hands in a attempt to get the purple substance off it. Blue watched in amusement as Nightmare hesitantly popped up: "ummm- how about cookies?"

Cross looked at Nightmare quizzically.

"And how do you know that?"

"I dont know... just had a feeling" Nightmare mumbled as Cross and Dream looked at each other before shrugging.

"And where do you suppose we get a cookie?"

"There" Blue said using his thumb to point down the hall at a familiar wooden stall.

Everyone stood there: mouth agape before collecting themselves. Cross had tears in his eyes as he knew he would have to say goodbye to some more of his beloved gold. That's when Nightmare gently pat his back and approached Ink: using his very own money to be a cookie from the trader.

And so the waiting game started. The party deciding to hide in a corner and rest up: some taking a cat nap. Nightmare got up and motioned towards a corner. "I need to use the restroom" he said, cheeks purple in embarrassment. Everyone nodded, allowing the prince some privacy.

As he turned the corner, Cross focused back on the cookie intently: waiting for the Demon King to take his bait. That's when he heard a quiet shuffle of shoes. He saw a demon: crown glistening on its head as ot approached the cookie.

Cross was in shock: the Demon King had actually taken the bait! Snapping out of his shock he tackled the Demon King down, the Demong King scowling in surprise.

'How did they know?'

Cross ended up ontop of the Demon King in a rather suggestive position that brought a blush to both the Kings and his own face.

Growling in annoyance, the Demon King poofed into thin air: teleporting elsewhere.

Nightmare came back from his rest stop before noticing everyones (who was awake) expression.

"Well, that's enough of a break" Cross perked up. "We're almost at the throne room according to Ink, so let's get this show on the road!"

____________________________________________

(My first animation/gif. In other words: sh#t.)

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[heresyourramenbro]

Monsta X React toYou Turning Them on Infront of the Members (Hyung Line) approx 2700 words

Shownu

Shownu being  the leader, meant that he was almost always pre occupied by the wellbeing of his members, though this was one of your favourite qualities about him because it showed how good of a father he was going to be someday, sometimes you couldn’t help but feel like a second option. He would do a closed eyed chuckle and push you away lightly whenever you tried to be affectionate around the dorm ‘yah y/n wait for later’ or ‘not whilst the guys are around’ would make up his list of excuses as to why he didn’t want to be seen being publicly affectionate… if you can even call it that. One day after a particularly taxing day at work you were fed up; emotionally, mentally but most of all sexually. All you wanted was to get home and have your boyfriend pick you up by the waste and throw you onto his bed like in all of the movies, however this wasn’t a movie this was just your average life. You were lead in the door by Shownu as he planted a single, unsatisfying kiss upon your cheek as he walked you toward the living room, as usual you exchanged the pleasantries of each other’s day, instantly wrapped up in his stories of a new dance he was in the middle of choreographing almost forgetting the pent up sexual tension you could feel brewing in your abdomen, before you two settled next to one another on the sofa. Slowly as the time ticked by and your heat was reaching boiling point each of the boys started piling in, by the time Hyungwon attempted to take a seat it became evident of the fact that there were none left, you without thinking stood up to offer your seat. As you were about to take up residency on the ground, the heat in the pit of your stomach made you change your course right for the centre of Shownu’s crotch, now you couldn’t deny that you took a few extra steps to get comfortable that required you to create friction from your body to his. Which in turn forced out the faintest moan before he lightly coughed and looked side to side to ensure that none of his members had heard. His buff arms snaked around your waist throwing off your balance, placing you instead in between his legs as his hands found their way to your wrists grabbing them firmly as he alluded to the trouble you were going to be in later, he breathed heavily into the crook of you neck which sent shivers down your spine as his fingers left your wrists instead they found your thighs in which he started tracing circles upon, Shownu had stated many times that he found your thighs irresistible and this was his way of letting you know that he wanted it. 

Wonho

In light of Monsta X’s latest comeback Starship had ordered all of the members to work on sculpting their bodies as they wanted to do a sexy concept. This of course was easy for your boyfriend Wonho as he had already spent countless hours in the gym perfecting his already toned body. However, as some of the members namely Hyungwon and Minhyuk had little experience in working out, in order to gain tonnage, they had put your boyfriend in high demand.

If he wasn’t practising, recording or shooting Wonho was constantly in the gym helping his members prepare. Which had been testing the strength of your relationship recently, as you knew dating an idol meant very little free-time, you and Wonho mostly had the evenings together and even then they aren’t exactly what you’d call the greatest quality time, as usually it just involved eating copious amounts of food in order to make up for the long days you both had, which then led to you both getting lethargic from the excess food your body was now digesting, before finally curling up next to each other and falling asleep, though this wasn’t perfect, you loved every moment of it. Now all of a sudden, your few moments together have turned into mere minutes each day. This was starting to take a toll on your mental health to as Wonho was what you wanted to spend your time on, talking, texting or cuddling it didn’t matter as long as it involved him. But now you were left with 0 messages, 0 missed calls and most of all 0 boys to rant about your day with or cuddle up next to on a cold night. You hated to admit it, but you were lonely.

So today you decided you would change things

You woke up to a text from Wonho saying that the he was going to be training from 5pm onwards tonight, and like always that he was sorry that he’d miss you, but he already promised Minhyuk and Hyungwon that he would train them from 6 until “they couldn’t take it any longer” as he would put it. So as 5 o’clock hit you decided to put on your most skimpy active ware, including tight, black, biker shorts and a black sports bra, you knew this combo always made Wonho take a second deeper look at your body as he ‘loved you in black’ you threw one of his hoodies and tracksuits over the top to remain inconspicuous as to your plans for later that day and made your way down to the gym.

“y/ni? I didn’t know you were visiting me today? The boys are going to been here soon” Wonho said with a confused look as he realised who it was

“I thought maybe I could train with you guys today”

“I didn’t think you’d want to train with us” usually you wouldn’t of as the idea of listening to Minhyuk and Hyungwon complain for an hour straight didn’t cross your mind as a fun time.

“I want to improve my mental health, I thought this would be a good time, and it means I get to see you” Wonho just nodded his head in agreement, holding no reason to deny you training with them.

Soon enough the other two had arrived of course not without complain of how tired they were and that you should not be surprised if they cant lift as much as Wonho (not because they don’t have the strength) but because they’d already worked out today and “used up all” of their “muscles for the day”.

“y/n aren’t you going to be too hot in that” Minhyuk remarks nodding towards the oversized sweatshirt you had on

“ 5 minutes in and Minhyuk-ies already trying to get my clothes of” you laugh towards Wonho who angrily stares at Minhyuk not liking the way your comment settled with him.

“YAH hyung I don’t want that I was just being polite” Minhyuk got into a defensive stance ready for the older boy to punish him

“Well you’re not wrong” you suddenly changed to agree with Minhyuk as this was the perfect moment to reveal your outfit to Wonho.

You suddenly stand from your position and slowly begin to loosen the draw strings before having the sweats drop to the floor, you watched Wonho eye of the pants on the floor before slowing inching his way up to your waste before you revealed the second half of your outfit, as you fully unclothed your top layers you shifted your gaze to meet with eyes directly, they had softened from their anger but a new emotion had taken over. Lust. You knew this look all to well and what those eyes meant, and if his eyes weren’t enough. Let’s just say that he wore shorts to the gym today and he suddenly ‘felt’ a non-existent ‘breeze’ as an excuse to cover up with the sweatpants you had previously been wearing.

Somewhere about half-way into the session Wonho dragged you by your arm to the side and made it clear that “Jagi your in trouble for what you did” and that you’d “be receiving a punishment later for acting in such a way”

Minhyuk

Minhyuk with no surprise loved showing you off around the boys, he loved the feeling of power it gave him that you were in his life whilst they would go back to their beds every night lonely, he loved smiling from ear to ear when you would keep up with the boys banter, and the two of you would react havoc amongst the dorm, so that’s why it surprised you so much when you had reached the dorm after trudging through the thick mid-winter snow, your body was shivering all over, you had lost the feeling in your lips and your fingers were so numb you struggled to open the door, you were greeted in the kitchen by a stressed out Kihyun who had the task of cooking for you all, and lets just say the addition of your sudden presence only seemed to put him on edge more, so rather than call out to Minhyuk like you normally would you decided to strip yourself of all you soaked winter gear in the entrance of the dorm. As you were removing your boots Kihyun violently slammed the cupboards shut

“YAH which one of you lazy brats finished the soy sauce and didn’t tell me” Kihyun’s rage seemed to summon Minhyuk to the kitchen to which he offered to walk to the corner store and buy some more. Kihyun politely thanked him (which seemed like a full 180 from where he was) it was then that Minhyuk noticed you

“y/n? why didn’t you tell me you were here” he turned his head on an angle like a puppy as he asked trying to figure you out

“I just got in, I didn’t want to disturb the hurricane” you smile nodding you head in Kihyun’s direction, Minhyuk only managed to look at you with a quick proud smile before Kihyun was forcing him out of the dorm in search for the soy sauce.

“y/n?” Wonho walked in, in a very similar manner to Minhyuk

“usually we hear you before we see you” You roll your eyes half-jokingly in Wonho’s direction before letting out your most sarcastic laugh. As you were still on the floor from removing your boots Wonho walked over to help you up

“Yah why are you so cold!?!” He shot you a concerned look as he felt your forehead

“You have to get changed out of these” he pinched the sleeve of your coat releasing the water that had been stuck in the fabric.

“I don’t have anything to change into”              

“Wear something of Minhyuk’s” That thought hadn’t crossed you mind as typically Minhyuk wore clothes close to your size, so you hadn’t desired to wear them before. You make your way to his shared closest, examining every piece to ensure you didn’t wear the wrong boys’ clothes, as your undergarments had also been soaked you decided to go commando and just ensure that you work Minhyuk’s largest sweater. Seemingly instantly you heard the loud tune of Minhyuk’s voice as he had acquired the soy sauce before you heard him question where you are, as you heard him getting closer you quickly ensured that you were decent, As the door clicked close Minhyuk finally looked up at you.

“Jagi I didn’t know you were interested in my clothes”

“I got caught up in the snow” As you hinted down to the pile of wet clothes, Minhyuk then offered to go a place them in the dryer so they’d be nice and dry by the time you left, as he did so you made your way back to the common area.

“y/n you suit Minhyuk’s clothes better than he does” Hyungwon jabbed at his older band mate, as you laughed off his snarky comment Minhyuk had joined you as you took a seat together, he leaned his face into the crook of your neck

“I enjoyed that surprise Jagi” He breathed into your ear as he slowly felt his way up your bare back, as you realised that he had found your wet bra and that he knew you were waltzing around in a lustful state.

“ill enjoy it even more when its less work later to undress you” he snaked into your ear as he moved his hips so that his hard member was flush against your thigh.

Kihyun

Kihyun was quite the opposite of Shownu, he  felt no responsibility to keep your relationship out of the eyes of his members, However this boy has a jealousy issue, so how much he’d let you do in front of their prying eyes would really depend on how good of a mood you had put him in first. On this particular day you had been getting cheeky, playing around with Kihyun in various ways, it first started innocent with you two watching Seventeen on a variety show, where you pointed out that birthdays were not “the only similarity between” him and Woozi, Kihyun raised his eyebrow in frustration knowing where this was going, you turned to face him and flashed him the cheekiest smile you had before retreating not wanting to get yourself into any more trouble “you both have amazing vocals” you laughed out as you could feel his body tense as he was ready for another height joke, “Well thank you jagi” he said with the most sarcastic tone in his voice. He then seeked his revenge by launching a attack onto your body, forcefully grabbing onto you making your body jerk out of control as he begun aggressively dancing his fingers along the bottoms of your feet, you started laugh screaming out of control as your body flailed about. “YAHH YOO KIHYUN” you screamed inbetween laughs, “say it jagi” he aggressively breathed into your ear as he plants his knees onto your arms trapping you further under him “Say what” you managed to gasp out in-between laughs“remind me of how tall I am” Kihyun then redirected his body so that his hips were straddled over your core and he tucked his feet underneath your thighs“YA are you serious” you chuckled out as you look up to stare him directly in the eyes and see the slight anger he was expressing through the furrowing of his face, he pushed his weight down into your wrist slowing putting more and more pressure“Okay okay okay”- “Yoo Kihyun is the tallest man in all of South Korea” you half yell out, as you relented Kihyun let go of some of the pressure off of your body, suddenly your newfound silence was broken by a suddenly-appeared Jooheon.

 “Hyung? You know she’s just saying that to be nice” Jooheon chuckled aKihyun’s face of rage furthered with his eyes becoming smaller as he began to glare at his younger member, you saw the tension growing and decided to step in yourself

“Jooheon-ie don’t be jealous because you have no one to call you tall” Jooheon’s mouth opened and then quickly formed a pout as he took a heavy seat on the sofa. At this point you started contemplating what you could do to get back at Kihyun for teasing you earlier.

“Kihyun-ie can you control your girlfriend” Jooheon breathed out still sensitive to your earlier comment. Kihyun lightly chuckled before he pushed your shoulders back down and launched an attack on all your weak spots. You then decided how to exact your revenge

 ‘mmmh baby” You moaned out into his ear in response to the tickling, he froze up for a second as if all of the blood in his body had come to a stand-still, his eyes darted to your face as he soon realised that you had not had a slip of the tongue but rather you wanted him to crave you, need you and most of all want you.All of a sudden the variety show you had been lightly paying attention to finished and the boys had planned to watch a film together, there by meaning that Kihyun had no escape, he knew you wanted him, he wanted you even more and yet he was stuck in a room with 6 other guys with a raging boner, so raging in fact that he sat you onto his lap to ensure his members wouldn’t see, you felt his eyes on you throughout the entire film as you knew the second it was up he would get his revenge.

[cchellacat]

Y/N or Darcy at a party when she spots an ex. Quick, she urgently has to pretend to be dating the nearest person, who happens to be very attractive.

Wintershock Bucky/Darcy

18 +

Thank You for Your Service

credit for wintershockedit to @spacemansam

Darcy mingled near the bar, sipping her drink and feelingsorry for herself.  She’s all on herlonesome tonight, Jane bowed out early with Thor and probably wouldn’t be seenuntil Monday.   She’s not meant to be out on her own, but she’s fed up with her dad’s overprotective paranoia.  Ever since Tony found out about her existence he’s been  trying to make up for the last twenty odd years of her life.   The latest decision that she needs a bodyguard causing a huge argument, which she hopes she’s won.

This was not the Friday nightshe had been counting on though and she hadn’t actually been drinking, not feeling safe to with Jane gone.  She was justabout to call it a night when she spotted him across the room, he was making abee line towards her.  

She turned back towards the bar and felt panic creeping upher spine.  Her ex, Ian was here and nowhe’s seen her, god she wants the floor to swallow her.  She looks to the right where the same man hadsat all night.  He was big and broad andalthough the long hair was a little hobo, he seemed intimidating enough to dothe job.  

Darcy kicks the leg of his bar stool and he turns his headto look at her, for a second, she nearly stops breathing.  He has the most beautiful blue eyes with thickgenerous lashes she has ever seen, he also looks like a Greek god with a strongjawline and cheekbones to die for.  He’sfrowning at her as she stares, struck dumb for a moment before her brain kicksback and she leans forward, layinig on her best drunk damsel impression she canmanage.

“Look, I know this seems really weird and totally like somebad pick up line, but can you pretend to be my boyfriend, for like, ten minstops?  Just till I get rid of my ex?”  She murmurs, deliberately curving her mouth intoa pouty flirty smile, not that it took much effort, god he was hot.  

Before he can answer Ian’s voice breaks into the slightly awkwardsilence.

“Darcy, fancy seeing you here.  I thought you’d be in DC by now?”

Darcy turns her head and smiles saccharinely, resisting theurge to throw her drink in his face.

“Really?  I heard youmoved to Boston, I guess we were both wrong.”

“Still trailing around after Dr Foster then?”

“We’re not trailing around, we’re heading the astrophysicslab at Stark Industries.”

She enjoys the look of jealousy for about two seconds beforehe recovers.

“I didn’t know they paid interns at SI, still living off DrFosters charity then, or are you picking up otherwork.”

She wants to smack him, is only stopped from doing so by thearm that suddenly slips around her waist.

“What exactly are you implying?”

It’s the hot guy sitting next to her.  Darcy squashes the sudden flutter in herbelly at the way the heat of his hand seems to sear through the thin materialof her dress.

Ian looks startled and taken aback.

“I’m sorry, and you are?”

“James Barnes, and think you were about to apologise to mygirlfriend for implying that she was a whore.”

She wants to cheer, Ian looks fit to pee his pants.  Clinging to her tipsy girl persona shesnuggles into the hot hobo and pats his chest.

“James is very protective.” She shots Ian a shark like grin as her fake boyfriend takes a half amenacing step forward.  Ian squeaks outan apology and can’t high tail it fast enough. Darcy can’t help it, she breaks into a peel of laughter and ends upclutching her saviours shirt in a effort to stay upright.

She laughs so hard she nearly falls off her seat.

“Jesus Doll, how much have you had?”  The sweet concern in his tone has her pattinghis chest lightly, admiring the firm muscle beneath the Henley as his handshover at her hips, worrying about letting her fall.

“None.”  She managesto gasp as the laughter finally clams.

“What?”

“Sorry handsome, I needed help and drunk damsel usually worksreally well.”

“I’d have helped you out without the act doll, he’s a realpiece of work.”

“Yes, he is.”  She agrees,still patting at his chest.  Good lord,how much working out did he do to get this buff?  “You know, I really feel as though I shouldthank you properly for the save.”  She bitesher bit and widens her eyes, just  a little,her tone honey sweet and low.

He smiles down at her and cocks and eyebrow.

“You want to thank me for my service?”  The teasing tone send a thrill through herand a pleasant tingle starts in her belly.

“However you’d like me too, soldier.”  His eyes darken at her words and his handsfinally land on her hips.  He wets hislips and she smooths her hands down his front to pluck at the front of hisjeans.  She makes the decision quickly,she doesn’t usually do this sort of thing, but he is hot and she is horny andhe just squished Ian like a bug, she is so turned on that her panties aresoaked through.

She pushes him back and he goes without protest as she jumpsoff the stool and then she takes his hand and tugs him after her, headedthrough the bar and dragging him into the lady’s restroom.  He gets the idea quick and they’re in a stalland he has her skirt pushed up and her leg pulled over his hip even as hismouth descends on hers for a filthy hot kiss that make her mewl in want.  Jesus Christ, he knows how to kiss.  

Darcy’s fingers make quick work of his shirt buttons, she moansin appreciation when she sees his chest and abs.  The whimper he makes as she lightly pincheshis nipples has her wet with want, fuck he was beautiful.   His largehands skim over her tits, squeezing and pressing and she feels her knees goweak, the only thing keeping her upright his hard thigh between her legs whereshe grinds herself frantically, desperate for friction as she rocks against him.  

She doesn’t protest as he pulls down her top and pushes thecups of the bra out of his way, his mouth tracing a hot path of kisses from herneck south until his lips closed around one aching nipple, she gasps and letsout a reedy cry, she thinks she could come from this alone, fuck he knows whatto do with his mouth and tongue.  Cool fingersdip into her panties, seeking out her wet folds, the rumble in his chest whenhe finds her hot and wet and quivering for him makes her gasp.  

She tugs his belt open and pushes his pants down far enoughto free his cock.  He is achingly hardand hot in her palm and leaking.  He capturesher in another kiss and then he’s lifting her, back pressed to the wall of thestall, legs wrapping around his hips and he wrenches her panties to oneside.  

The thick head of his cock eases into her, teasing at herentrance and all the breath leaves her body as he makes one hard thrust,filling her quickly.  She moans his name,her walls clenching around the sudden invasion. He pants into her ear, tells her how good she feels, how fucking tightand wet her pussy is and she cants her hips grinding her clit into his pelvic boneand then he pounds into her, hips snapping upwards with each stroke.  The sound of skin meeting skin is sinful andthen his thumb seeks out her clit, stroking it gently for such a roughlooking man and then she’s coming hard, back arching, more dirty talk ismuttered into her ear, encourage her and praising her for coming around hiscock, calling her a good girl, so sweet and dirty.  She can only cling to him, as he drives intoher over and over, their sweat slick skin meeting again and again as he fucksher.  He holds her effortlessly while hethrusts and she feels a second orgasm building, following the first, his cock pressingdeeper and then he adjusts the angle and he’s stroking firmly over her g-spotwith each lunge.  

Her whole body arches as she comes again, clutching himgreedily, drawing him in and she feel nothing but triumph as he stiffens andslams into her once more, burying himself in her possessively as he comes, his lipson her neck, hands holding her ass, pressing his cock so deeply in her pussyshe wants to come again from the fullness and heat of him spilling in sideher.  The ache of his cock filling hermakes her dizzy, he feels so good, it feels as though he’s thoroughlyimprinted in her body she’ll never forget what he feels like.  

He keeps her pined to the wall for a few minutes, his cockslowly softening as he kisses her sinfully, both of then still shuddering asaftershocks rip through them.  When he finallylets her down onto her feet her legs hardly support her, but he steadies her witha chuckle and holds her up till she finds her footing again.  

She feels starry eyed and besotted from the pleasure he gaveher, it doesn’t help that she thinks he might have the finest body she’d everseen and she’s seen Thor naked, but James was better, so much better, but thiswas just a one time hook up.  He pullshimself together and leaves her to fix her clothes.

In the fluorescent light she sorts herself, pulling down herskirt and making sure her top covers her modestly before washing her hands andleaving the bathroom.  Suddenly feeling shyand a little embarrassed, because what the hell was she thinking?  She sneaks outthe back way and hails a cab.  

Climbing into bed back at the Tower she finally really needssleep and decides she doesn’t regret the impulsive decision.  Her only regret that she hadn’t taken thechance to ask for his number.

The next morning she’s nearly at Jane’s lab when Tony shouts for her to popinto his lab, she swerves and crosses the hallway, poking her head in.  Tony isn’t alone, there is a man with him.

“Darcy, meet Bucky Barnes, he’s going to be our new head of securityfor the Tower.”  

He turns to see her and Darcy freezes.  It’s him, the hot hobo from the bar.  All she can do is gape as Tony introduces them.  Her mind goes blank and she wonders how she misseda vibranium arm.  Then it all falls backinto line and her mind finally makes the connection.  He’s the Winter Soldier.  His answering introduction and the way hekissed the back of her hand has Tony shaking his head while Darcy swoons alittle more.   If she’d known who he wasshe’d have brung him back to her apartment the night before.   In the light of day he looked even better, cleanand washed and dressed smartly, his hair tied back.    He smilesat her like he wants to eat her and she thinks she might just let him.  That is until Tony tells her he’ll be her new bodyguard, one she won’t be able to give the slip to. 

@the-ss-horniest-book-club

[becblanc]

(the boy is back in town. the boy doesnt want to be back in town. wait boy where are you going.)

finally made a ref for my pokemon insurgence protagonist after being inspired by the one @frightguard made [x]. i love this character a lot and have written quite a bit on them. some extra info under the cut

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CHARACTER PROFILE

Dont want to read the whole thing? this pretty much sums up josiah

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ACTUAL CHARACTER PROFILE

latched onto damian super quick since he was the first person they encountered that wasnt trying to kill them. cherishes vijol with their life; truly their best friend and an irreplaceable partner. tolerates nora but really doesnt like being around her after she bullied damian in utira. 

what is self-care. or shoes. or sleep? huh. “local hero doesnt practice personal hygiene, more at 11″. 

as soon as they get to suntouched and see the tacky gaudy cape on the clothes rack they buy it immediately. “look im alone, dont know jack shit about myself, a good # of people want to kill me, fuck it im buying the edgy cape. if i die, i die in style.”

very much a “reluctant hero type”. starts off extremely skittish and not wanting to get into any sort of conflict, but gradually gains confidence as their team evolves. gets a hoot out of fucking around with the abyssal cultists as audrey. by the time of the infernal infiltration operation theyre almost too cocky in their abilities. blasts gasolina on a boombox as they storm in. when the thing with the darkrai cult happens again, avoids the fuck out of going back to the shade forest. still carrying a bit of trauma from that whole incident. bad memories. all the bravado from before is instantly gone.

after having to return to the surface world from the dream realm, never stops looking for a way back. that becomes their whole drive. They’ll Get Him Out. They Will. 

Really Really Really doesn’t want to be the next augur. I Guess I Dont Have A Choice Though, Huh. doesnt want to be famous. wants to disappear into obscurity so they can live a normal life. arceus wont have it. 

The timeless: “you’re a fantastic trainer- you’ve beaten all of us. How would you like to be the next augur?”

Josiah: 

refuses the crystal shards. boxed them immediately. Thats A Liability. 

wants to care more about exploring Holon but doesn’t. I Just Really Want To Get Back To The Dreamworld, out of my way. Everybody just stay the FUCK out of my way. Gets incredible annoyed when people keep trying to fight them 

as soon as they get the magic carpet, yeets right the fuck out of holon to get back to the dreamworld. is heartbroken when the first thing adam does is ask that they help take care of the deoxys problem and malon. Cries when adam talks about “father and daughter side by side…. Just as it should be”. cries again when damian comes to. 

eventually moves into adam’s old HQ, lives there now. reopens the gaea town gym so challengers can resume taking on the championship. the badge resembles their dragon-based team while paying homage to their father’s badge. since the cults are all finally quelled, augur calls dont come in as frequently. eventually things calm down and josiah can finally get some fucking rest. never really got back the bravado they had from before darkrai cult: pt 2

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TEAM INFO

Lead: Kirby (mew) 

sets up barrier + amnesia, then baton passes it off to the teammate most suited for countering the opponents team

Physical specialist: Sweet boi (delta dragonite)

also the secondary lead. sets up livewire, then punches away with drain punch, thunderpunch, or aqua tail. extremely tanky and self-reliant when receiving kirby’s boosts (which is often)

Special specialist: Respite (delta charizard)

one of the many mega options available, typically takes up sweeper role 

Mixed attacker: Saburra (flygon)

can change depending on the need for good ground type coverage with STAB, or extremely strong substitute breaker as mega flygon. good flexibility and type coverage

Wallbreaker: Wingdings (delta noivern)

leech seed + nasty plot/giga drain combo + big root + kirbys defense buffs is something to behold. frail but can heal a ton of HP if done right. can go toe-to-toe with legendaries thanks to immense healing capabilities

Jack-of-All-Trades: Vijol (eevee)

moonblast and icebeam provide type coverage as mega eevee, thunderbolt provides speed to outpace faster opponents and land a finishing blow if necessary. single-handedly carrier the team through the champion match: redux as mega sylveon

keeps 3 mega options on the team for flexibility, depending on type coverage needs. the opponent will never know which mega to expect. the typical recipients of kirby buffs are sweet boi and wingdings due to sweet boi’s tankyness and wingdings’ sp. attack augmenting capabilities combined with healing. 

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SOUNDTRACK INFO

i like to have certain songs that i associate with parts of the game, making small montages in my head to them. here are some excerpts. click on the location names to hear a song i associate with that arc of the story. 

i dont have many songs for early game since i was listening to the insurgence ost for so much of it, however:

Telnor Town, meeting Damian

Travelling the region at night (typically this was the only time i was free)

Abyssal base infiltration

Doing any kind of heroic shit

Infernal Base infiltration

Traversing the Dream Realm

The growing suspicion that adam is josiah’s father (i had guessed it correctly before the reveal in the 8th gym)

no alt music for the nyx battle because the insurg ost for that fight is already bangin

Finally reaching Gaea Town..........

Exploring No Man’s Land late at night 

This is a favorite. 

Squaring up to fight Reukra before he can summon arceus 

when i played pokemon uranium, i associated The Felt [x] album with the scenes of infiltrating the abandoned nuclear plants, especially jade dragon, swing of the clock, rhapsody in green, and variations. (my luxelong- a fakemon which is based on imperial dragons and has a jade tail, is literally a Jade Dragon, was name Rhapsody in line with this album). i really liked having an “associated album” with the game so i decided to do it for insurgence as well

the album that takes that title for insurgence is the Spiderverse OST [x], many of the songs i can see in a lot of different venues in the insuregnce plot thats about it. i actually even have more written about this character on a word document. why cant i have this much passion about my actual OC’s. 

josiah is also my go-to boredom character to draw while watching lectures for class

[sunnyvaiprion]

Hi! I have a question (two actually) So how do you use Mr Dark Prince in battle? And is there a 4th mysterious member along your Julius/Reinhardt/Child!Azura team? (I love these interactions of them you draw btw~)

Oh, thanks!! 

About the team: yes! Since it’s a primarily AR team, there are two more! One of them is basically defaulted to Eir, but more often than not she stays as far away as she possibly can from any action (she has a nice heal though. Also she can throw Julius into enemies if he cant walk there fast himself). And second is a wildcard that varies from team to team (it was supposed to be a bonus unit, but it seems like Eir will stay for quite a long time), but my “main” now uses Bride Ninian for… no apparent reson besides being a dancer and me liking her. I will most likely change her for someone else/heavily alter her build because it’s actually pretty wacky with this team, but for now she stays (because she can fulfill her main purpose which is assisting trap removal in tight spaces). 

And now, About Julius: Ranged units can be a major pain. Sometimes (more like nearly always) you cant initiate on one and run without the rest of them scattering like dust particles if you blow on them all across the map with their dancers (especially now with Lazura), and to bait them you need someone who can take entire triangle and probably physical damage too, all at once. Use a dragon? Yes… a dragon.

Due to it being a somewhat lenghty text, I am putting it under the cut. 

If someone else thought about using him but was afraid that he isnt “a good unit” or “not favoured by meta” - I’d recommend you read into this too!

I have my Julius with Loptous, Reposition, Iceberg, Distant Defence, Guard, Attack Ploy, and another Distant Defence. which is - a wall. I place him in a space where he can be targeted by units I want (nearly any ranged, tbh. IF there’s a melee frontiline unit - Reinhardt has a message for them.) so he can kill them or hold them in place, and make sure my team can give him maximum amount of drives without putting anyone in danger. (oftenmost it’s just Azura and that’s it but still). 

Pros:

It’s VERY hard to kill him during EP. Even blue mages and bows/daggers with high attack struggle to deal non-zero damage to him, especially pre-dance. TA blue mage dancers included, as they usually dont break 50 attack mark by much.

No specials. Unless a special is pre-charged on turn 1 (or 2CD with Heavy/Flashing blade after dance), no luck trying to damage him with one either while guard is up and have fun offing it. Glimmer still deals a 0. Moonbow most likely a single digit.

He has high attack but without QR he will unlikely kill a unit coming at him on their first initiation (unless its low res green OR Reinhardt)…. which will waste a dancer’s turn to dance them instead of dancing some out-of-range thing you DONT want to attack, like a melee fast sword in that far-off corner.

On second initiation (if danced, alternatively someone else if the first unit died or didnt get a dance) that unit is guaranteed dead, though, because Iceberg hits like a truck especially with his already nice attack and STUPIDLY HIGH RES especially on EP. If they somehow survive this (Aversa with res wave on comes to mind) - its not a crazy PP unit so their damage is definitely a hard 0, so no biggie. Also works with a fast dazzle staff or if first enemy fails to double, since CD is 3.

With his res he can atk ploy virtually any unit of his choice, making the most dangerous unit to him (usually a physical or Ophelia) less dangerous at least pre-dance (when they have a chance to land more attacks).

His speed is actually not THAT bad. He usually doesnt mind getting doubled, but still. If you throw some speed buffs on him he can deny even some fast units their doubles. This might come in handy when fighting aforementioned units.

He is a lot easier to actually obtain and merge than similar units (Micaiah, Deirdre, Kliff maybe?) due to not being a 5-star locked or even limited unit. Unless you are a whale, and I dont judge, but for me it’s a big plus right there. Skills I have on him are also all widely available (I got DD off Garon).

Ranged anti-dragon weapons are all green (= normal blue for Julius, multiplier-wise). After Nagas got refines I actually started seeing them on defence maps. Guess what, still 0 damage. Daggers are trickier but a lot rarer and still manageable. They added an inheritable one just now but… why would anyone actually use it on heroes except it’s native user (who is also green) ?? Either way you wont see much of that.

See that Surtr? Julius will take care of him for you, too, with his high attack. In a single hit, if you pre-charge his Iceberg on something else. I know that almost any red mage can do it, but I heared some people still struggle. He can take a DC-hit from him too, if he runs one.

He can tank Ophelia, but be careful. For her he needs res buffs, especially the visible one, because of her initial AoE. Atk ploy her. If she can get an attack buff, It’d be great for you to have panic ploy too (right now there’s a lot of options, including Panic Manor). On a positive note, there should be plenty of mages on the same team as her, probably red and green, which wont really bother him afterwards.  

That’s Julius. We love our possessed lord.

Cons:    

While he takes little to no damage from any ranged source, Poison Strike-esque damage will get him good. Pain+ healers arent particulary dangerous because they cant deal any more damage to him no matter what, but units like firesweep bow double poison lyn are not very nice for him to face head-on (yes, I hate her in particular with burning passion), especially if she gets danced, receive a buff and attacks again, while there are other non-zero damage units in the back. But unlike a melee unit in the front line, it’s not always an option to snipe her (or any other unit like her) prior to Julius getting in range. This is, honestly, your worst nightmare. Be very careful with things like that and calculate damage dealt to make sure he wont die. … even though I think it’s not just his problem. But he doesnt easily solve it.  

He is reliant on team support to fight ranged physicals. Not going to lie about it. Def Tactic (or a wave if you’re into them) and 1-2 drive defs (ideally distant guard) should do, which is by no means too much investment, but it should be done.

His player phase leaves a lot to be desired. But like… what’s new? He’s enemy phase per advertisement. He still can Iceberg someone to the ground should he have it ready, or finish off someone previously mangled in EP, though.

He’s likely to deal more than 50% HP in one hit to PP heroes, especially ones that dump res or run LnD, which will activate wings of mercy, and a WoM melee unit can warp to his face and smack him. BUT usually dancers run WoM, and those have lower-end stats, so he should be okay at the very least. The only lancer dancer in the game is OG Azura, but …when was the last time I’ve seen her…  anyway, be careful with WoM.

He’s going to get Chill Res’d. He will get Chill Res’d every time every day of the week cause you wont find any ally with more res than him to “bait” chill res. It’s not like he will die from it though.

He’s infantry, so unfortunately, no easy fortify/wards for him. But if he was any other movtype - it’d bring it’s own problems, so… maybe it’s for the best. Also distant guard is a thing now.

He wants to stay above 80% hp and it’s very easy until he starts taking 5+ damage per hit. If it’s the case - you need to start paying attention to enemy specials again, especially longer CD ones.

Alternatives: While I am happy with how he does his job for now, I am planning make one adjustment, which is - give him Steady Stance 4. (once I get the fodder Surtr, which is not so soon). It will allow him to use his entire HP pool more effectively, and will give him extra survivability against physical threats, even if by a little bit. Additionally, it will protect him againt melee units too (like a WoM dancer teleporting to him) for safety measures and it will open up B slot! Losing 6 res (and 3 Iceberg damage) is not a big deal compared to all those benifits, ESPECIALLY since staying above 80% would be no longer needed.    

I .. dont really have a plan what to put in B slot then, because I intentionally want to avoid QR for a reason I explained above. But hey, I’ll figure something out when the time comes. However QR is also a viable option if you want him to kill everything in one go.

Iceberg is also, in theory, could be replaced by Glacies, if you want more damage. But I personally decided against it, because Iceberg’s cooldown is easier to manage and it’s damage is already enough in most cases. Also Iceberg is a lot better with QR should you want to use him for insta-kills.

And for the love of Loptyr himself, dont try to build him player phase or give him Fury. There are heroes with a lot better stat spreads for PP (yes, I’ve seen a PP Julius), and Fury is a fastest way to turn off Guard/QR and ruin his excellent ability to take zeros from most things. I tried it while I didnt have DD to fodder, and I didnt get much out of it. 

Now, he fits on virtually any map, but here are some examples of AR maps which he absolutely murdered.

I rely on my dragon! I’m very glad I decided to pick him up, even if he’s not that popular of a unit. 

[xanams]

For the salty ask meme, how about 4 and 5?

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*hmmmm, i dont think i do in any of my current fandoms! I mean I really don’t like any of the ships that are (debatable, somehow) adult/child pairs in the kh fandom (yes, including That Popular One), which makes finding good sora/riku fics hard if i dont just sit and gloss over the sideships, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*...does it count if i cant look at my old main fandom and otp with the same fondness any more bc of my ex?as for rn, kinda. i love sora/kairi, but in the context of what their dynamic is actually like in the games. playing them, i really appreciate all their interactions and find them absolutely adorable, but except from a few trusted ppl, i can’t enjoy fandom content of the two of them (unless riku is also dating them both at the same time) at all, be it fanart or fanfics. the sora/kairi fandom seems to suck in general and makes them ooc, gets sora completely wrong both in looks and in personality(seriously, why tf do they make him so tall and kinda buff, did they start drawing riku and forget halfway through smh), and it kinda takes away from what makes them a cute couple in the first place. tbh though, i didn’t fully snap with the fandom for this pair until That One Popular Artist showed their true colours, continued to be shameless about it, and then the fandom leapt to their defence. that was the moment i decided i was done with them. when someone’s fandom space is just Too Het, i get suspicious now, which sucks when i love a lot of m/f pairs in kh.so tl;dr: they aint gonna stop me lovin this ship. but im not gonna love it with them. im gonna do that all by myself.

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Girlsie: Protective Newsies Edition

Being the only Girlsie and having around 20 idiots looking after you

-ohhhhhhhhh boy

-you loved the newsies

-they were like your older brothers

-very annoying yet super and I mean SUPER protective of you

-you could soak any guy who comes your way but that doesn’t mean they don’t worry about you

-you always have to have a selling partner

-one time you went out to sell papes all day by yourself

-when you got back, the whole lodge was freaking out about where you were

-jack was even drawing a sketch of you to give to the police for a missing person report

- davey was crying oops

-so they assigned you to work with albert since he had eyes like a hawk

- “Y/N stay! Stay right there I’ll be 10 steps that way.”

-*moves a slight bit*

-“I JUST TOLD YOU TO STAY THERE!”

-“DAMN IT AL I’M NOT A GOLDEN RETRIEVER STOP TELLING ME TO STAY!”

- don’t get me started on customers

-you were selling papes one day with albert when a boy bought a pape from you

-you and the customer MAY have been flirting

-you like to view it as an investment in your business career

-don’t tell jack you said that

-the idea of you being interested in boys made him cringe and worry 10x more since he knew exactly how boys are

-but anyway the dude was totally into you

-he was very sweet and kissed your cheek super innocent

-Al was NOT happy

-he wasn’t jealous

-you were like his litter sister

-hell every newsboy was your “older brother” no matter if they were younger than you

-the idea of some random dude kissing your cheek was making his blood boil

-so Al picked you up and threw you over his shoulder

-your face turned bright tomato red

-why can’t you just be a normal teenager for once?!

-Al gave you a speech about how to stay away from boys and that all they want is your precious innocence

-“WELL IT’S HARD TO STAY AWAY FROM BOYS WHEN I LIVE WITH TWENTY!”

“Y/N that’s not the same thing!!!”

-he wasn’t having it

-he carried you far away from the cute boy who you know will never talk to you again

-“You’re ruining my love life!!!”

-“You’re 16 you don’t even have a life.”

-you were mortified

-speaking of mortified

-one night you went to the restroom and saw the biggest spider in the world

-like this thing was mutant it probably drank some nuclear waste

-like if it bit you, you would’ve turned into spidergirl

-wrong fandom oops

-and you’re half awake so you imagine it 10x bigger than it actually is

-so you let out the loudest scream waking up the whole lodge

-not even 10 seconds pass

-jack comes in with a bat, ready to hit the intruder

-race storms in with little to no clothes on with a metal bar that he keeps under his bed

-my lovely crutchie hobbles in with his crutch swung over his head

-davey tries of course by all means but he slips halfway to the bathroom door

-“Y/N ARE YOU OKAY”

-“ARE YOU HURT!”

-“STAY BACK I HAVE A BAT!”

-You point to the corner as the all squint to see the spider chilling like a villain

-race says nothing as he turns around and walks back to his bed in silence

-sometimes, very rarely, their protectiveness came in handy

-again, you could defend yourself physically

-but since you weren’t as buff or strong as the average person, fighting was a bit tricky

-the same guy who Al pulled you away from came back while you were walking to the lodge

-“need an escort home?”

-“I’m fine thanks”

-the moron decides to step in front of you and lunges for your bag, where you kept all of your earnings from today

-you fought him for the bag because you’ll be damned if someone was trying to rob you and you would let them

-it happened so fast where suddenly you were pinned down against the dirty wet concrete as he tried to shake the bag off violently

-again, you were strong but this dude must’ve had at least 100 pounds more on you

-just as fast as he had pinned and straddled you down, he was quickly thrown off

-it wasn’t a surprise that it was jack who had shoved the asshole off of you

-jack tended to sometimes follow you to make sure you got to the lodge safe but also wanted to give some space between since he knew how you needed some privacy

-after you gave a few good kicks in the jackasses stomach you turned to jack giving a thank you

-there was no speech about how “yous need to be more aware of your surroundings” or “this is why someone needs to walk you home.”

-instead, he pulled you in for a hug, thanking god that you were okay

-back at the lodge, word spread quickly of what happened

-the boys weren’t as loud tonight as usual though

-each boy stopped by your bunk and gave you a hug or even a high five from kicking that dudes ass

-even though jack did most of it

-but you were grateful that you had 20 big brothers to look after you

-even though there’s no privacy when you brush your teeth

-and when you feel like you cant breath because they’re suffocating you

-you’re glad you have them

-you wouldn’t trade them for the world

-however, you pray that the first boy you bring to the lodge doesn’t end up six feet under thanks to your protective newsies

[tumblunni]

Also it still makes me Super Sad to know they were at one point considering giving Viera a similar remake to the Mithra and having them be a both genders race with like.. actual normal people and it being the player’s choice if you wanted to wear sexy armour or not. Seriously i hate ‘they are sexy race’ as a concept for a ‘culture’, it’s like finding the planet of everyone has the same job in some star wars thing, except the creepy version...

Tho also these more ‘sexy race’ designs for them still work MILES better than FF12 when they have sexualized dudes too! Apparantly this concept evolved into (ugh) the Au’Ra, so you can kinda see here how they decided to go ‘nah, extra buff power fantasy dudes and even more over the top fanservice women that also look 12′ instead of like.. fanservice kind of muscly man, at least... :( srsly he looks like that sexy armour guy they censored in that spinoff game or that sexy armour they censored for Ringabel yet nobody seemed to care and instead whined about 1 singular additional belt being added on the sexy costume for girls T_T why do the worst of the worst internet douchebros always throw a fit at the slightest bit of equal ass for all??

wow this ended up going into a big ol lol image heavy post so lets have a cut!

also this sexualized lady armour at least has a different and visually interesting design, and they were thinking of more hairstyles too! like the FF12 viera were even more bad for how they all looked like the same person in 1-3 minor variants of the same xenomorph lookin metal thong atrocity. (and like.. one robe model for npcs that somehow managed to still sexualize a robe?? wtf?? leav whit mag alon)

Another beta viera design that just appeals to me a lot, somehow! I think its the interesting idea of having a fully furred head and then just a quiff of human hair on the top, it feels more like an actual animal man instead of a human in cosplay. Same for the idea of them having big black cute button eyes!

Also look at these other really cool designs for different beast races, even stuff thats not based on anything we’ve ever seen before It’s hard to believe that the Au’ra were even conceived as a ‘beast race’ concept, like holy fuck it should be illegal to throw out 47 Actual Designs and just go with Human Again But More Fanservice...

also they made this april fools thing as a fake Au’Ra reveal and like... it doesnt say much good about your designers when this could legit pass as real like the joke here is apaprantly just that Sexy Bangaa looks ugly, not that having a race with a monsterish man and a sexy lady is a dumb idea, cos they just went ahead and did it anyway...

the au’ra concept art shows pretty much EXACTLY the same ‘sexy bangaa’ principle and I’m glad they at least fuckin toned it down to the man having AN ACTUAL HUMAN FACE, even if its also a lazy fuckin design change. i’d be so fuckin mad if we got a legit cool only-nonhumanoid-race-in-the-game and it was men only!

also like Wow, I am actually getting excited about just the same super tiny demure unfitting lady to a massive man except Less Sexualized And More Magical/Ethereal ...unless that isnt meant to be a dragon familiar but actually another design for the men or something, that’d be going WAY too far! XD

Hello Welcome To Bottom Of The Barrel With Bunni, wouldnt it have been nice if the weird succubus-y ladies like.. looked in their 20s or something i am actually advocating for big fanservice titties cos it would be 99% less disturbing than the same damn camera angles on a ‘childish’ design... also seriously 99% normal fanservice lady with bigass actual monster horns on top would be better than same thing sans the horns

oh sorry they do have ‘horns’ but they look like fuckin this

and i fuckin can’t even.. i jsut fuckin... they don’t even let us have THE MOST BASIC TINY BEASTIE THINGS! why does it bug me so much that male au ra get to have black schelera along with the black horns like even this super minimal actual dragon trait isn’t allowed?? even when removing it makes no sense?? even when its supposed to be a nationality indicator in-universe cos you put a really nice amount of worldbuilding into each ‘race’ having actually two races of sun and moon based designs. which are EXACTLY THE FUCKIN SAME FOR FEMALE AU’RA, seriously why not just make horn colour an option in the editor then... actually is this a thing that has ever existed in any real world country, is there a place where men have [visual trait] and women don’t? I mean aside from like.. cultural or religious outfits, where only one gender’s is different to the west but its not like the west is default anyway lol. But seriously imagine EYE COLOUR! Imagine if blue eyes only happened to american men and like.. american women couldn’t have blonde hair and all looked identical to.. I dunno.. west indian women. Just a whole country where dudes have all the abstract concept of ‘race’ and the women don’t. That’s how nonsense it seems when you make a fantasy species where only the women look human!

tho also i’m still pissed off too that the human nationality thing actually comes with a different body build (FOR DUDES AT LEAST) and different hairstyles and starting outfit, instead of only a colour change. it stands out a lot that they only did this for their first attempt at the concept. also it makes male au-ra make even less sense cos you can already have a muscle human and an even more muscle human who has a dumb ogre face and also elf men are muscular somehow and you kinda only have miquote if you wanna be a skinny dude.. or even just an average dude...

also it kinda sucks that you can’t turn off or choose anything about the weirdly complicated scale patterns on their neck and upper arms only. like why is that even there except to be like ‘hey we did the bare minimum to be considered a dragon’...

ALSO LIKE EVEN MORE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL I would have STILL been happier if we got this fuckin terrible fanservice lady design but she at least had ears and claws as well as we-say-its-horns-but-it-looks-like-cute-hair-decs. like seriously throw me a fuckin bone here, give them SOMETHING to justify the ‘beast race’ category... also did i mention that its really fuckin stupid how they did the worldbuilding too? these guys are meant to be nomads and warriors yet the women look like this. its just.. never explained. its just that all the Lore applies to the dudes and the women are just for ~cyooooot anime girl who does the stubborn kiddy pose with her tits hanging out~ (SERIOUSLY THEIR ANIMATION SET IS REALLY CHILDLIKE AND ITS SO CREEPY! theyre like the sex appeal of miquote with the lalafell animations...)

seriously holy shit looking at this pic makes them it look like dads taking their daughters to soccer practise like seriously fuckin christ

and ALSO on top of fuckin everything else we get to see they even had designs for the same creepy loli fanservice ladies but if they had Some Sort Of Actual Unique Features and Cool Aesthetic Choice like wtf you even abanded like 40 cool horn designs and just gave them plain gross triangles in only one of two colour choices... T_T also like.. that loli lady at least gets to wear an actual gothic lolita fashion style, and i love the aesthetic of armor plates hanging as accessories on a non armour outfit. Do they jingle like windchimes? or does this mean Au’ra were meant to be fully scaled below the neck, so this kinda IS a skimpy outfit but you cant tell? XD

Also l kinda like this aesthetic of this other equally lame and super humanoid design with overly sexualized females. Like i dunno if this is just shading but if they actually had this colourscheme it would be super distinctive! And it reminds me of amarant’s trance form, The Amazing Battle Banana Hammock. Even if it also suffers from the same problem of technically showing a man in a skimpy costume but like his design is supposed to be monsterous and badass instead so it still doesnt deliver the same as the female equivelant. The top left version could kinda be a fanservice guy but like.. only if he was naked like that? like drawing someone in a style that’s supermodel body shape and has giant boob outlines and super sexualized poses and doesn’t look monsterous despite being a monster and ET CETERA, that’s what we mean about a character design being sexualized rather than just sexy. If you put some pants to cover this guy’s impressive bulge then he’d just be another scary boss guy. I mean Ifrit is a nearly naked guy with horns in every damn game but he’s very VERY rarely sexualized! The FFXV version is like the first damn time, except when we had a female version of him. It sucks cos ifreeta has a pretty damn cool design but still its really weird how she’s so much more humanoid and has attention drawn to her having boobs in a way they never did with ifrit’s constantly-on-display pecs and loincloth... Man why is it so hard to explain these weird nuances of how people draw ‘topless monster’ characters like this? its like they go out of their way to try and backpedal on the fact they made a topless guy. he can show more skin but its supposed to be less appealing by the artist, thus its less offensive cos it isnt boxing a character into this one sexualized role while the plot says ‘no, they’re a monster, honest!’ YKNOW?? god am i making ANY sense here? XD

nakey man, not meant to be arousing to audience

nakey lady, suddenly just because she’s ‘the lady version’ she looks like this

the same nakey man, redesigned, this time indeed meant to be just as sexy

and like it sucks that there aren’t many good examples of nakey ladies who ARENT meant to be arousing in this series cos I mean that lady ifrit design is so much more sexualized despite being in a chibi art style game for kids?? this was really not the right time or place!

Also it sucks that ‘is nakey’ is a common trait of monster man characters, because well there’s been an established history of dudes being topless and you’re not meant to be aroused. So then whenever they try and make ‘monster man race’ they go for a topless dude and are like ‘then the woman needs to be topless too!’ except the only way they can draw them is sexy??? except its like a false premise to begin with, you can totally make a beast race that isn’t topless, you guys! or even a beast race that isn’t buff, so you don’t need to be all ‘what’s the female equivelant of buff? oh yeah, sexy!’. or, yknow, just draw a buff woman. it could work... or like just have neither and make a beast creature that’s supposed to be cute or mysterious or comical or whatever.

completely random moment of interjection to say that nu mou are pretty neat

Actually, FFTA’s version of the ivalice races was pretty good about this, aside from the dumb thing of ‘theyre all male except viera, and just coincidentally viera are the only humanoid and sexualized race’. (Tho it was funny that somehow they accidentally made all humans male only too??)

Also another reason the Au’ra’s version of fanservice bothers me more than the simple option to wear a bikini as both genders for every other race: like none of them are DESIGNED FROM THE GROUND UP to be ‘they are all biologically born in an idealized supermodel shape and also look twenty years younger than they really are and also all culturally do j-pop poses for fuckin everything’. Even if you picked the sexy catgirls and catboys race you can choose to play a perfectly covered up version of either. And none of their animation sets or voice lines were inherantly fanservicey. Thats kinda what bugs me more than the Au’ra’s designs, its that they’re all ~uguuu senpai~ anime fanservice lady poses and squeaky voices even if you make their design not sexualized in the customizer. Even tho like.. at least a character in full armour doing j-pop poses is kinda funny/cute, so that’s one consolation. But couldnt you have just made them simple emotes for all the characters instead? I WANNA SEE IDOL ROEGADYN OMG :D

ANYWAY UHH BACK ON TOPIC

we almost got a dreadlocks hairstyle? That looks cool

ok.. okay.. I’m done Okay I’m Done sorry i just saw these concept art pics and got really fuckin wistful for what we could have had...

[plushievash]

felix for the oc questions?

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? i thought up his design and basic personality and the very bare bones of his backstory! i had his name in mind but took a few hours before i actually thought yea his name is gonna be felix

2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?yea! i do that with all my ocs bc i like to immediately think abt the relationships if theyd know each other how theyd get along and stuff like thathis first connection was ryker

3. How did you choose their name?i just really like the name “felix” and thought it was fittingi picked his “true” last name off this site and my boyfriend helped me decide on “ruggieri”

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?backstory wise not much aside maybe him being the hidden “sick” child for his own protection bc of i serpenti and other vicious humans

5. Is there any significance behind their hair color?6. Is there any significance behind their eye color?nope!

7. Is there any significance behind their height?not rly but i like that hes tall but doesnt like people being taller than him(for non-petty reasons) bc hes intimidated/afraid of people who are taller than him

8. What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story? hsghghdf like almost literally everything hes based off me and hes just basically me sdlkjfsdf

9. Are they based off of you, in some way? YEA 

10. If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? he wasnt tailored to be compatible with dasha they just developed into what they are now!

11. Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation? i dont actually remember,,but i think so?

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?its usually just bc im in an art block if i cant draw felixbut in my way older nasty art i used to not be able to draw him the way as i imagined him exactly...he was always supposed to be this.....Big Buff dude....

13. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all? im..not exactly 100% what this question means but hes planned out til his deaththo theres some events that come up on the way that i havent thought abt yetbut pretty much theres ones that certainly happen in the future and his death is thought out as well

14. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?certain designs for mutants like some cant have this or that bc it is either impossible or its a raremutation other than that thats abt it

15. What is something about your OC can make you laugh?he has a very strong fear of the paranormal and he has rly silly exaggerated reactions to anything that can even slightly be paranormal

16. What is something about your OC can make you cry? a lot

17. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story? lodovico sucksbut hes a key part of the story so i dont regret adding him.........but he sucks so im gonna mention him anyways

18. What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC? he fucken loves old music

19. What is your favorite fact about your OC?everything hes perfectbut also probably that he knows a bunch of random bird facts bc he loves birds but like........keeps it a secret bc hes a nerd

[slothcritic1]

Moana (2016)

Amazing Hair: The Movie. Moana is a tale of Hawaiian/Polynesian folklore centering around Dwayne The Maui Johnson and brand new talent (Auli'i Cravalho) as the titular character.

As someone who grew up with Toy Story, it’s funny to think about what this movie represents from a technical standpoint. Toy Story purposefully did not have an explositions or exposed liquids due to the limitations of technology at the time. And now we have a movie that takes place 90% of the time in the middle of a huge ocean.

The movie has some genuinely good songs, thanks to the singing talents of Ms Cravalho and, surprisingly, Dwayne Johnson himself. Yes, The Rock can sing, and while it’s semi-obvious that he doesn’t have the range of some other singers, he works within his means and knocks it out of the park in the song You’re Welcome

The plot structure itself is very formulaic however, which is a shame as everything else holds up so wonderfully. The focal girl has a duty to uphold, but instead decides to “follow her destiny” and choose a life of adventure over the life she’s expected to live (you know, like Brave, Frozen, Mulan, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Tarzan… you get the point). She then meets up with the wacky, street wise (or ocean wise), reluctant helper that she goads into helping on her journey. They become friends and bond, then theres the third act break up where the helper separates for no good reason, and the fourth act triumphant return at the ending climax for even less of a good reason.

With that out of the way, the movie rocks. Some people completely judge a movie only on plot, but I think it’s more about how it makes you feel. A movie is a vessel for emotion and intrigue.

Aside from the stunning visuals (which, lets face it, are now a standard practise for Disney Pixar films) and a catchy song (songs however are much easier to screw up, and this movie has a lot of good ones), the opening scene is bland. It sets up Moana to be the next village chief and her journey into leaving the island. The scene doesn’t really have anything for itself, but rather is used to carry the impact of when she actually disembarks. It’s necessary for backstory (no one ever leaves the island), exposition (Moana is the daughter of the village chief, etc) and the premise (find Maui and have him restore Heart of Te Fiti to stop a black virus from consuming all life), but doesnt do too much on its own.

The disembarkment scene however is wicked powerful. My friends thought I was alien for not crying or tearing up during it, but I will admit it did give me a good *pang* in the heart. Magical spirit stingray!

Two things should also be mentioned at this point. 1) A rooster named Hei Hei has snuck aboard Moana’s boat. It’s a very special rooster that my friends would not stop comparing to me. And B) The ocean is a sentient character of sorts, and provides some of the comedy for the movie.

Moana follows the constellation of the fish hook to where Maui is, since thats his dealio. At some point however, the lovable ocean gets triggered and decides to unleash its torrential stormy wrath upon Moana. I mean, it does get her to Maui’s island, but I’m sure there were less dickish ways of accomplishing that. Though I don’t think ocean cares since it killed Moana’s dad’s best friend. Oh, ocean, you little scamp.

Maui pops in and drops my favorite song of the movie, then steals the boat and leaves Moana to… I dunno, die? But she makes it back to Maui and explains that he needs to help her because, guess what, she’s the Disney Princess of this movie. And yes - She is. Her father is chief, which is like a king. She’s the chief’s daughter, which is like a king’s daughter, aka princess.

Maui responds by throwing the Heart of Te Fiti several miles away. This almost works out for Maui until p̶l̶o̶t̶ the ocean interferes by throwing it back, railroading him into a whole new world.

Maui however is at a disadvantage in his current state; He’s missing his hook. No hook, no powers. So when tribal coconuts show up on a HUGE ship, armed to the coconuts with poison blow darts, they’re kind of fucked, especially when they steal the Heart of Te Fiti, which is… currently inside Hei Hei.

Luckily, Moana does some badass shit while Maui handles the boat and the three of them get out fine. Next stop, Maui’s hook. But before that, Moana wants to drive the boat. Maui says no, and the ocean pricks him with a stray poison dart. Now he cant drive. But he can pee in the water just as he tells Moana to check for a “warm current”

I can get on board with that level of petty.

They arrive at Monster Island, which is where Maui’s hook is. Maui tells her to stay on the boat and do nothing like a good woman while macho man demi-dude saves the whole day. It has little success. I should also mention, this entire time they’ve been traveling from Casa de Maui to Mount Doom, Maui has just been roasting Moana for being a Disney princess. To summarize:

“Oh look at me. I’m the chosen one. I’m like 8 years old and never sailed a boat in my life, but here I am thinking the ocean chose ME, with my bleeding heart spiel and animal companion to try and save the world.”

To be fair, large bodies of water have never been good at chosing leaders - Ask Monty Python.

Regardless, Moana and Maui both climb what is basically a 90 degree incline to the top of the Dread Spire. It is at this point Maui informs Moana that the door to the monster realm can only be opened with a human sacrifice. Before Moana can protest, Maui ritually disembowels her with his own hands to appease the ancient blood gods.

Kidding. He chants a few words and the gateway opens. The two jump in, and Moana is almost eaten or killed numerous times with the first few moments of being in the realm of the monsters.

Maui’s hook is resting upon a mountain of gold. Seems innocent enough to Moana, but Maui insists she wears a bright and gaudy disguise to draw the attention of… something.

The mountain of gold rises up. Turns out thats just its back. Meet the British Crab. He sings a song about how he loves shiny things and then nearly eats Moana, until Maui reveals he retrieved his hook from the British Crab’s back.

But he’s a little rusty and it, uh, doesn’t work right. So Maui gets his shit stomped by BC. Moana saves the day by painting a rock with bioluminescent algae to make it look like the Heart of Te Fiti, which is shiny, and BC is all about the shiny.

They escape, and Maui learns to reuse his hook. Everythings looking swell until they try and take on the great evil of the story, Te Ka. He uses fireball and Maui presses E to deflect with his hook, only instead the hook gets mad cracked. It sparks like its somehow made of electricity, which I find weird. Maui is now done with life since his hook is nearly toast and he fucks off, leaving chosen girl all by herself, depressed as fuck in the middle of nowhere, ocean.

One drug trip and amazing song later, she regains her confidence and tried to take on Te Ka by herself. It surprisingly works, because now she knows how to drive a boat. Hei Hei comes in clutch and stops the Heart of Te Fiti from falling off the boat, and they make it through the border islands towards their main goal.

Te Ka is still rather pissed, being a giant lava demon and all, so he keeps trying to kill Moana. And for no real reason, here comes Maui to save the day - or at least to stall Te Ka until Moana can do the thing. His hook gets completely totalled but its okay, because he learned a valuable lesson off-screen that he’s still Maui, hook or no hook.

Moana realizes that the Heart actually goes into Te Ka. So she pulls a Moses, lets Te Ka come at her bro, and puts the Heart into her chest. This turns her from the red Lava Groot to the green Mother Nature Jemima, and everything is better forever. And hey, she gives Maui a brand new hook after he apologises for being the literal cause of ALL of this. Maui does his own thing and Moana becomes the leader of a brand new generation of voyagers.

I do have to applaud Disney for NOT having the two of them kiss at the end. Its always nice to see a platonic m/f duo in movies and the romance subplot sells so well to resist sometimes.

Overall, very stunning. I often cite “movie feel” as a reason why movies with plot/cliche/logistic problems can still make good movies, and this movie does a wonderful job of sweeping you off your feet. Though honestly, the writing on this movie is not bad. Rather, I would say its poorly structured. Think of it like a support beam a beanstalk might grow up. The characters were amazing; Full of life, personality and moderately complex emotions, the animation is so good the whole movie is like a humble brag about how awesome the DisneyTech is, a lot (i’d say 80%) of the script is bang on, and an astounding amount of the songs are really good - Songs are easy to screw up and I’d say that’s this movies second biggest strength (behind hair/water animation). It just struggles with the standard “winning formula” plot structure that was honestly ill-fitting in parts and did not impart a wholesome explanation or comprehensive rationale behind certain scenes.

I’m not a big Disney buff (unless you count the Star Wars acquisition), so I’m not qualified to say how this ranks compared to other movies (disregarding modern tech advancements and focusing more on storytelling) - However I will say that it’s better than Frozen.