#I cannot stress how absolutely CROWDED it was- but I guess that’s a good thing

[sneezysubbyboi]

First Pride

✨First Pride✨

[owliellder]

Two's A Crowd

College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)

Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.

Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing

Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mention of a Fight, Additional Tags to be Added

Author's Note: Ahh thank you for 1,000 followers!! I don't even know how that happened!! Anyways, I think it's a little anticlimactic? I just feel like since I am definitely not the kind to raise my voice, a shy reader wouldn't either. Besides, disappointment hurts more than anger, right?

Cross-posted onto AO3

Chapter 4:

Leon really did like you, honest. You were such a sweet girl, so innocent and clueless. Maybe it’s because he never gave his one night stands the time of day, or maybe it was just the sheer amount of time he had to spend with you to get this close, but now he knew he was a pretty terrible person for taking that bet

In the beginning he didn’t feel the slightest twinge of guilt due to the words the frat spewed at him. He knew all the right questions to ask, all the right things to say, the sweetness of it all had you under a spell.  It was also such a menial thing to get, a single pair of panties… You probably wouldn’t even know it was missing!

But as time went on, it got harder and harder for Leon to stomach just what he was doing. You’d opened up so much to him about your home life, how stressed you were, how much pressure you were under. Doing this would absolutely ruin you so he did his best to convince himself that he was being the nice one by waiting to complete the bet until you had finished all your finals. All that time spent together had him second guessing, triple guessing, even quadruple guessing his decision to go through with this. The good grades were important to you, he didn’t want to draw your focus away from that.

It was a shame his friends couldn’t keep the damn thing to themselves even if their life depended on it. He’d explicitly told them that it’s done and there was nothing more to it, yet of course they just had to snicker and make snide little comments to each other the next day when they saw you in passing.

Leon wouldn’t admit out loud that you’d really grown on him over the months, so he could only brush his friends off whenever they’d tease him about getting angry whenever the topic arose. Chris was the worst out of all of them, being his best friend, it seemed like his mission was to dance on Leon’s nerves any chance he got.

“Delete that.” A scowl graced Leon’s features as he glared at Chris, who’d stepped back from the agitated man. Almost the entire frat had posed with the panties Leon stole from you, all of them making some form of exaggerated pose and face. What was only meant to be goofy on their part was making the man responsible furious.

“Relax, it’s just a picture. I thought you’d find it funny.” Chris chuckled, bringing his phone back in to look at it again himself. “You’re acting real sour for nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. You’re all acting like a bunch of fucking idiots and I’m sick of it. Now delete that damn picture before I smash your phone with a hammer.” The nonchalant attitude from Chris was driving Leon up the wall. He already knew he’d fucked up big time, and with the way everyone was acting would only get him into bigger trouble.

“Shut up, man.” Chris laughed, like this was all some big joke. Everything was a joke to him. “Acting like you’re gonna explode or something.” This man was an actual dumbass, never taking a moment to actually think about what consequences having photo evidence with the entirety of the frat’s members posing with something stolen would have.

Leon scoffed, holding his hands up before letting them fall dramatically to slap against the tops of his thighs. “No fucking way..” One hand came back up to cover his mouth, breathing out sharply through his nose. It was a sad attempt to keep himself from pouncing on the other man, seeing as not barely five seconds later he tackled Chris, hands scrambling to rip the phone from his hand.

Chris was a few inches taller than Leon, a bit stronger too, so the scuffle didn’t last long. Some punches thrown here, a few kicks there, and Leon had the wind knocked out of him at some point, thrown to the side and left to struggle to get up off the floor while Chris decided to make his way to a different part of the house, muttering under his breath all the while.

“God dammit-” Leon wheezed, on his hands and knees, one hand against his chest as he tried to catch his breath. Sure he reacted purely on instinct, but Chris could stand to be knocked down a few pegs in his opinion. The guy is an ass.

After finally collecting himself, Leon slowly spun around to rest his back against the foot of the couch, elbows resting on his knees. He coughed a couple times and let his eyes fall closed, eyebrows furrowed as he silently seethed. Chris was most definitely going to send that picture around since he obviously thinks it’s the funniest thing to ever grace this planet. You were going to see the picture. That thought alone had his head falling forward in defeat, breathing out a weak sigh and a few more coughs. 

If he had just followed his own shitty advice, he would’ve taken a second to think about it. Why didn’t he just tell you in the first place? Why didn’t he just go to the store and buy a random pair of panties? Why did he follow through on such a meaningless bet?

Now that Leon thinks about it, he was the dumbass in this scenario. A royal one.

He probably sat there for an hour with his eyes closed, mind racing a million miles a minute. Trying not to make another stupid decision, he decided the best course of action would be to tell you before you saw that picture. You should hear it from him and not a total stranger. It was the right thing to do. Right?

He let out a few more strangled coughs and wheezes as he stood up off the floor and threw his coat on, beginning the walk of shame to your building. It wouldn’t have taken that long, but the snow and sludge on the ground made it a bit more dangerous, he needed to tread carefully. In more ways than one.

The extended walk left him alone with his thoughts, seeing as he didn’t grab his own phone to bring with him. With every step his mind grew heavier, an involuntary grimace scrunching his face up as he mulled over what exactly he’d done. He was mentally beating himself up over how easy it would’ve been to avoid this situation if he’d just thought outside of himself for one singular minute.

What had he done? 

Leon stomped the excess snow off his boots once inside of the dorm building, hands hidden in the pockets of his jackets as he meandered over to the stairs to get up to the second floor where your dorm was. He took his sweet time, practicing what he wanted to say under his breath as he stared down at his feet while walking up the steps.

Your dorm was down the hall around the corner, allowing him the few extra seconds it would take to get there to get his heart under control. You would be mad, rightfully so, but would you forgive him? Is it selfish to hope that you would?

He stood in front of your door for a minute longer, hand hovering just in front of it, trying to bring  himself to knock. Licking his dry lips, he quickly hit the knuckle on his index finger against the door three times, his eyes downturned. As much as he wanted to be the bigger person, it scared him to no end. He’s never cared this much before, so why was he so worried about it now?

Leon’s eyes shot up at the sound of the door opening, immediately showing his confusion when it was Sky on the other side. They didn’t say a word, but they looked mad, or at least very irritated. “Hey, I really need to talk to-,” they cut him off by simply holding up the palm of their hand to him, taking in a deep breath. “We saw it.”

Those three words made his heart drop to his stomach, his eyes quickly darting to look through the opening in the door to see if he could see you. “Please, if you would just let me explain I can-”

“Don’t embarrass yourself. Just go.” Sky was just about to close the door before they quickly looked over their shoulder, shutting the door almost all the way. Leon could hear them whispering to you, and though he desperately wanted to listen in, he decided to take a step back from the door and wait patiently. It was the least he could do.

He looked side to side to make sure no one was walking through the hallways, not wanting anyone to eavesdrop on such a sensitive situation. The door reopened, only this time it was you standing in the doorway. You looked so sad, so disappointed.

Leon hesitated before opening his mouth, yet you cut him off before he could even get a word in. “I trusted you,” you rasped quietly, a shaky sigh passing your lips, “I-.. I trusted you… and this is how you treat me..?” His shoulders slumped as he listened to you. He didn’t think he could feel any worse about this, but here you were, reminding him just how much of an ass he’s been.

“All that time we spent together.. all those kind, encouraging words you told me.. were all a lie?” You sniffled, arms slinking around yourself tightly. Sky was standing out of his view rubbing your back, knowing you wanted, no, needed to confront him yourself.

“No- I-..” Leon stuttered, trying to find the best way to explain everything. And no matter how many times he formulated it in his head, the explanation would never justify his actions. Instead he settled on something that would probably mean and do nothing for you. It was worth saying, though. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m so sorry,” his voice fell to a whisper as he repeated himself, eyes remaining on yours. What else could he say?

Silence fell between you as you only stared back at him with glassy eyes, your every breath shaky as you held back sobs. Crying in front of him would only give him more fuel, was your thought process. In your mind, he couldn’t even be trusted with your trash. 

By now, Sky had walked over and grabbed your suitcase, rolling it over next to you. You were leaving a day earlier than you said you would, Sky having offered to drive you back home since your hometown was only a couple hours away from where theirs was.

You didn’t give him the satisfaction of a response, instead taking the handle of your suitcase from your friend before silently walking out of the room, past Leon, and down around the corner. He only stood and watched you walk off with a deep frown, head turning back to look at Sky when he heard them lock the door behind themself. 

“You’re only sorry that you got caught.” They grumbled as they walked past him, giving him a quick yet harsh glare. They soon disappeared around the same corner you had, leaving him all alone in the now quiet hallway. 

You were the nicest, most considerate person he’s ever had the pleasure to know and he blew it. The worst part about it all was you didn’t even seem mad, just heartbroken. Disappointed in him.

You had put so much of your trust into him, even after he’d been so nasty towards you in the beginning, and what did he do with it? He basically spit on it, lit it on fire, and then flushed the remnants. He was only annoyed with you the first few times he had to help you study, the bickering the two of you shared easily becoming one of the things he liked about you.

Leon honestly liked you from the start, so determined to pass a class that you’d put up with what was basically harassment from him. When he told his frat buddies about you, they were quick to draw up that bet. Unfortunately, he’d known most of these guys since middle school, and you were just a girl he met on chance. His friends’ words blanketed his own morals, and because they saw you as a target, so did he, that subconscious need for peer approval leading him to make one of the worst decisions he’s ever made thus far.

If he was in your shoes, he’d raise hell, so your decision to leave was completely understandable. For some reason you’d let him off easy and he knew he didn’t deserve such light treatment. 

All he could do now was hope you’d come back next semester. He’d be fine just getting to see you in passing since you most likely wouldn’t want to be anywhere near him anymore, your friends would certainly keep him at a distance away from you. 

Would writing a message be okay? You need time before he approaches the topic with you. Should he leave you be? No, you deserve an apology, even if you don’t want it, nor accept it. 

Someone brushed by Leon, breaking his train of thought. He was still standing in the hallway in front of your dorm room. He needed to go and try to make this right, or at the very least rip everyone at the frat a new one. He wasn’t sure, maybe it was because he was angry at them and himself, but leaving the frat sounded like a pretty good way to start righting his wrongs. Not before he made sure that the picture was wiped from everyone’s phone and the panties he stole were kept far away from everyone there. 

Chris sent the picture to you, which means it was sent to a bunch of other people too. He’ll spend all winter break tracking down every last person it was sent to, tell professors what he’d done just so it didn’t spread any further. And if it meant he’d lose his scholarship, then so be it.

tags:

@kayotee4 @k-fallingstar @bobastayhigh @mi-zer-y @chasingkennedy @l30nva @espressonerd @jjouki @5tarx @bunnybreadloaves @whoisgami @cyanscribe @c4b3r1a @darichvep @mmmangel @kingtacocat @klee-iii @baby--vera @dakiniii @kenma-izhu @aliidarling @leonsmamacita @deadghxsty @nekoheist @dumbassmortal @cassiecasluciluce @iovewilliams @maeplayscello @deddiemunsonsblog @paranoid-but-android @mariesmain @tteokhwaa @bonnibuckets @eilonwykennedy @1dk-anym0r3 @papatyacikcik @animesnowstorm @lexi-zsy09 @mylifedoesntexist @ifeellikedying @yourmommylol04 @ravioli19 @dakiniii @papichulo120627

(few of your blogs won't work, i tried though 😭)

[nogenderbee]

Hi thereee ! Im a huge fan of your work (ur writing is rlly amazing ehejeidkwiwn) and ive had this ideea for a while so like

Reader and the pjsk guys (maybe tsukasa and rui, separately) are hanging out in reader's sekai (wich doesnt have a song yet) and the boys decide to confess to reader and reader accepts their confession the song from reader's sekai gets born, what would be their reaction?

(Also this is my first time requesting sorry if i didnt do it properly!! •○•)

Awhh thank you so much! And I absolutely love this idea, it's just so so sweet!! You can say I had a little too much fun writing it so... I hope you enjoy it just as much as I enjoyed writing it <3

Tsukasa, Rui are the reason for readers first song

TagList: @alicewinterway18 - come get your future star!

I won't tag you here since you'll get pinged either way heh

After Tsukasa discovered that the both of you have your own SEKAIs, it definitely was his idea that you should start hanging out with each others SEKAIs. It just so happened that you mostly hanged out at your SEKAI since your was usually free and his was often crowded by his troup.

So when you told him you don't have any songs, he decided to help you find the right feelings but of course he still had friendly hangouts with you. Today was one of those days when you just hanged out but he had some more serious plans, and fact that he was stressed was painted all over him, but he kept telling you that he's alright.

When he finally felt like it was the right time to tell you his feelings, he went on one knee and took your hand in his.

"YN, I am very aware that you probably think of my only as your friend but this star cannot hold his feelings any longer! The truth is, I have fallen deeply in love with you so will you give me this honor of being your lover?"

The moment was already so unbelievable for you and for him as well once the word "Yes" left your mouth. He literally stood up and hugged you tightly once he heard this one pretty word.

What both of you didn't knew this is the fact that his confession helped you create your first song. Unlike him, you noticed it the next time you were about to hang out in your SEKAI so of course you showed him. The song described the moment, your feelings, what you saw, how nervous he was, how he felt so perfectly! And the two of you even were singed as artist even though none of you remember singing that but I guess that's just the charm of SEKAI?

When you showed him that song, he was stunned... but in a good way! He simply couldn't believe that confessing his true feelings towards you was all he had to do to help you create your song. He doesn't mind tho, after all he helped you and now got you as his lover at once!

"W-We what?! So... at the end I helped you create your first song? I knew a star like me could do it! How about we get singing that song? It can be pretty fun!"

If there are some cheesy lines in the song then he may stutter a little but he quickly tried to go back to normal since he wants to impress you and a star shouldn't make mistakes like that. But he mostly wants to just impress you.

After Rui discovered the two of you have your own SEKAIs, he definitely was interested in yours so it's not a surprise that you hanged out mostly at there.

When you were hanging out there with him, the two of you usually just wandered around and maybe discovered some new places or things about your SEKAI. So of course he definitely noticed that you don't have any song but decides not to mention it and instead he tries to help you create one.

Today tho he had a plan in mind. He knew that you probably will hate him after it but he simply can't hold it inside him anymore. So when he felt confidence in him, he proceed to tell you what he wanted.

"YN, there's something I need to tell you and it's alright if you won't want to see me afterwards... but I really feel for you and if you let me then I'd love to be someone more than just a friend for you."

He really was ready for you to kick him out of your SEKAI and say no you don't want to ever breath the same air as he but surprisingly you agreed, and he couldn't be any more happier.

Although Rui felt like something happened right there, he thought it's just his imagination so none of you really noticed that song was created. After he left your SEKAI tho, you wandered around it alone for a bit of time and saw a song that wasn't there before, because hey you didn't had any song! And when you checked it out, authors happened to be you and now your boyfriend.

When you showed him that song, he really was shocked that his confession could create a song. But of course he listened to it and remember he'll pay really close attention to lyrics since he knows that songs are made from true feelings. So if there's something cheesy and we know there definitely is then he most likely will tease you about it.

"Awhh~ You really do have strong feeling for me, don't you? And I thought I was the cheesy one in our relationship!"

To be honest, he's a little relieved to know that you really do love him and not playing just some jokes on him.

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

[azurillturtle]

i don't talk much here, but it's gonna be long, and it needs to be said.

summary: eosym's lack of communication and the behavior of security were so bad that i would've been happier not going.

nothing to do with the music and performances. those were good, probably. i can't tell you for sure because the experience upset me so much i could barely pay attention, much less enjoy it.

we all know how fanfest went. i won't go into it, but i will say i'm a veteran of the worst-organized con in the nation, so yeah, it was bad, but i had fun. not so with eosym.

I've seen this being blamed on security, but SE itself is absolutely also at fault. the heart of the problem is that attendees were not provided with guidelines for what would be allowed into the show. only at security did they find out what they couldn't bring. it was water bottles. it was bags. it was, in my case, an ipad that i'd brought to write on while waiting.

i went to the evening show, so this was after the afternoon show's debacle with the water bottles. thanks to the forewarning, we knew a bit better how to prepare, but of course not everyone would hear. there were still water bottles being confiscated at the evening show. there was a staff member telling the people lined up that they couldn't bring in water bottles, but by that point it was much too late.

point one: we should not have to rely on word-of-mouth to know what is and isn't allowed. this was not a security problem. this was an SE problem.

next i want to frame the setting a bit. eosym is coming right off the heels of fanfest. even with assigned seats, it's going to be linecon. again, this is the evening show, so with pre-warning from the afternoon show, we know there's going to be merch but lines will be ridiculous. there are already (at a guess) hundreds of people in line at 7 PM, half an hour before doors are set to open. at 7:30 they start sending people through security, and that's where round two started.

people are arguing about their EMPTY water bottles, not having heard about the afternoon show. by now i've pulled out my ipad to have something to do in line, and i'm holding it in my hand as i walk through and set off the security sensors (probably because, y'know, electronics). they do not at that point tell me it's not allowed. instead they wave me to the detailed screening.

security doesn't even bother with the bag search. they take one look at what i'm holding.

security: you can't bring that in. me: what? security: you have to leave it in your car or your room. me: what?? I heard about the water bottles and bag sizes. I did not hear about this. security: well it's your fault for not paying attention. me: there was NOTHING said at ANY POINT about not being able to bring it in. security: you can't bring it. me: (already angry) then do i come back up here to the security gates or? security: get in the end of the line. me: you want me. to go behind all these [thousands of] people. back to the end of the line. security: it'll move fast.

(the line moving fast was the only thing they were right about.)

point two: you cannot reasonably expect attendees to have a place to store things they're suddenly told they can't bring. luckily we drove. most of the crowd? would've been shit out of luck.

point 2.5: did security have a list of things we weren't allowed that we never saw?? because i'm not convinced they weren't just making it up on the spot.

(i told her i was sorry for getting so angry, that i knew it wasn't her fault, but--no. actually, i was allowed to be angry. the policy wasn't her fault, but the gaslighting sure as hell was. i did my best! i used the information i had! i repacked my things in a smaller bag and didn't bring water! i tried, okay, what else was i supposed to do?)

what happens then if you're bumped to the end of the line? well for one thing, you're separated from your friends. stressful minutes trying to figure out how to split tickets so i could get in later and they could get in now. depending on situation, can't get in that merch line you might've showed up early for.

and that's point three: merch was, again, a disaster. even with fairly early line-up well before the doors opening, they quickly sold out of most of the shirt sizes and less expensive items. they might've failed to properly allocate merch between the two showings again. it wouldn't surprise me.

so say you have a place to leave your stuff. the venue was huge. parking, and presumably your room, are super far from the line. now walk of shame past the crowd, back to the parking lot, and back into line. 30-40 minutes. what would i have done if I started further back in line?

(other stuff happened here, specific to my situation, that contributed to my horrible mood but aren't super relevant. except that i was so angry i was dropping stuff and broke the leaf off the $50 elpis flower. you know. normal things.)

and, you know--that was fun. because you know who else was at the back of the line? latecomers, and others furious at being denied by security for ridiculous reasons. other people who had to go leave things in their car and line up again. one person who had left the line to go to the bathroom right outside, was told they had to go to the back again, and was worried they couldn't get in now because they'd been separated from the others in their group. (they also got stopped by security again on the way in, because of course they did.)

point four: mine was not an isolated case. security upset quite a lot of people.

and here is why that was a great way to ruin the night:

eosym is not the primals. it is not a high energy concert where you jump and dance and get carried away. it's a symphony. you sit still and quiet and enjoy the music.

but i got in fifteen minutes before they started--fifteen minutes, after an early line-up--and who can calm down and enjoy a quiet show given fifteen minutes?

for my part i cycled pretty quickly from anger to misery. i was desperately hoping the lights would dim before anyone noticed me crying. i couldn't focus on the music. and that made things worse, because from what i could tell it was a great show. and i couldn't listen at all.

so point five i guess: security's behavior was unacceptable. everyone was there to have a good time, and the rudeness, blame, and total lack of compassion ruined the show before it even started. that's not even touching the water bottle fiasco, which people only found out about after the show.

so no. eosym should have been easy. we had assigned seats and a different venue. i've done symphonies before. it was the one thing i was absolutely sure i'd love. and is there a worse feeling than experiencing a thing you know you should be loving, but it's wasted on you because you can't enjoy it at all?

& the worst part is that's it. it's done. regardless of whether my reasons for being upset were justified or not, it's too late, and now my only memories of what should've been one of the best experiences are of misery.

[idy-ll-ique]

They Always Do.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: insecurity

Requested: Nope

Summary: "you're not worried? he seems to be spending a lot of time with her..." "no" "why not?" "because i braced myself for this months ago. they leave, they always do. it's nothing new"

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! The first part of this fic is fluff, angst in the middle, fluff again at the end. Nothing too extreme, just a little one-shot. Enjoy!

---

"Sebastian, Y/N, so glad you made it!" Susan Downey smiled warmly at the couple. "Of course, we couldn't miss the 56th birthday of the one and only Iron Man," Sebastian chuckled, walking into the house with his girlfriend. He put his arm around Y/N, observing the place. "Guys! Hello!" they heard.

"Mr Downey," Y/N greeted politely, turning to smile at the birthday boy. "You must be the girlfriend," he grinned, pulling her into a bear hug. "Yep, that's me." Then he turned to Sebastian, frowning. "Why didn't you introduce her to everyone sooner?" Y/N laughed as Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging.

"Don't ask me, she was the one too chicken to meet you!" Sebastian defended himself, narrowing his eyes at his girlfriend. She snorted as Robert let go of her, returning to Sebastian's side. "I guess that's on me," she sighed dramatically, making both men laugh. "Well, enjoy yourselves! Have a drink, have fun!"

With that, he walked away. Sebastian noticed a server holding up a tray of drinks and called him over. He handed a glass to Y/N and took one for himself, taking a sip. "Thanks for bringing me over, honey," Y/N smiled and he turned to her, scoffing. "You're my girlfriend! God knows they were dying to meet you," he laughed, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

With that they went around the place, talking to new people, old friends and making new acquaintances. Y/N had a lot of fun meeting Sebastian's co-stars, and especially loved Elizabeth Olsen. Y/N was a huge Marvel fan and one of her favorite works of the MCU was WandaVision. Y/N had fangirled a bit, not gonna lie.

Like that passed an hour. After her feet started hurting, Sebastian decided it was time for the woman to sit down, have a drink and chill out. "Okay doll, here's a glass of champagne, if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call me, okay? I'm going there, with Chris and Anthony. I love you." She smiled when he gave her a quick kiss.

"I love you too, and don't worry, I'll find you easy. This place isn't that big."

"I heard that!"

Laughing at her antics, Sebastian gave his girlfriend one more loving kiss before prancing out of the room in search of his best friends, Chris Evans and Anthony Mackie. Y/N relaxed on the comfortable couch with a sigh, sipping on her drink. It all began a year ago, very cheesily, might I add.

Y/N was at her favourite coffee shop when he had walked in. Immediately, fans had him surrounded, but she didn't go over to him. She stayed seated, looking at him, wishing she could go over but she knew how stressful fan interactions were for celebrities. Sebastian had, unfortunately, caught her eye and she had turned beet red, burying her face in her laptop.

He had found her absolutely winsome and after the crowd around him had dissipated, he had wandered over to her table and introduced himself. She was flustered around him, which made him tingly inside. And he had blurted out, "Wanna meet here next Saturday at 7?" They kept their promise and that's how they started dating.

A year ago.

That was a healthy amount of time.

Right?

Y/N couldn't help but have her doubts. All her previous relationships were pathetic failures, where the guy usually got bored of her within 3 months. But now, she had braced herself for rejection (which she knew deep down wasn't coming but it pays to be careful). "Hey."

Startled, she turned to see a kinda young, kinda drunk woman sitting next to her, looking up at her with doe eyes. "Hi," Y/N smiled back politely. "You're— you're the woman!" She had started slurring her words, which made Y/N frown a bit. "I'm… what?" she blinked. "The girl! Who came over with Sebastian Stan, you're his girlfriend!" The woman laughed loudly.

A few heads turned towards them but quickly looked away when they realized that the girl was drunk. "Yep, that's me. Why?" Y/N was now amused. As they talked, she didn't notice Sebastian walking into the room. He had come back to ask Y/N something but had paused in his tracks when he saw her frowning at the young, drunk woman.

Then he inched closer, unabashedly eavesdropping on her conversation. "Yep, saw him spending a lot of time with Ms Lizzie Olsen. If he was mine, girl, I would take that man home and show him who truly belongs to him, if you know what I mean," the girl winked and a sad smile bloomed on Y/N's face. "They're good friends, of course they're gonna spend time together."

Sebastian smiled at her answer. He knew she was different, she didn't get easily jealous and he liked that, since it reduced the number of arguments they had by a lot. His jealousy? Well, that's a story for another time… "You don't mind? He seems to be spending a lot of time with her…" the drunk woman frowned at Y/N.

Well, she was drunk, she wouldn't remember this night anyway, so maybe… it would be good to get some things off her chest.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I braced myself for this months ago. They leave, they always do. It's nothing new," Y/N admitted, swirling the champagne that was swimming in her half-full glass. Sebastian's heart shattered into a million pieces at her words. Before the words were even completely out of her mouth, tears had started stinging in his eyes.

"Y/N?" Startled yet again, Y/N turned to see Sebastian smiling at her. "Seb! Hi, thought you were with your friends!" she grinned at him. "I— uh— something came up, we need to go," he spoke quietly, fidgeting with his hands. Y/N's brows furrowed but she got up, collecting her coat and her purse.

"Can we at least say Happy Birthday to Robert?"

"Yeah, yeah of course." Sebastian managed a weak smile when she gave him a kiss on the cheek, going off to find Robert and Susan. She told them something urgent came up and they allowed the couple to leave. "Seb, let's go!" He followed her out of the house, meekly trailing behind her, the words she said ringing in his ears.

They leave, they always do. It's nothing new.

How had this woman, practically a Goddess, had such bad experiences that she was forced to think that way? He was never going to leave her, having found the perfect woman at last. He got into the driver's seat of his car, and the car ride home was quiet. Y/N was getting anxious. What happened to him? Did something happen at the party?

Once they were home, Sebastian couldn't help himself. "S—" Y/N yelped when he crushed her to his body, hugging her tightly. He took both of them to their shared bedroom, sat down on the edge of the bed, pulled her on his lap and buried his face in her chest, breaking down. "Seb, honey, what's wrong?" Y/N cooed, getting insanely paranoid.

The crying didn't stop for 15 minutes. Y/N, in a futile attempt to get him to stop, was running a hand through his hair, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, holding him close. When he took in a shuddering breath, he pulled away and finally looked Y/N in her eyes. "Now are you going to tell me what happened?" she smiled gently.

He took her hand, pressing a kiss to her wrist. "I'm sorry," he croaked out and Y/N frowned. "Sorry for what?" He shook his head, burying his face back in his safe haven. Except, Y/N wasn't having any of that. She pulled him away and dropped a soft kiss to his forehead. "Tell me what happened."

He took in another shaky breath.

"I… I heard you."

"Heard me?" Y/N blinked. "Yes. You were… you were talking to that girl on the couch and she was— she was talking about how I seem to be spending a lot of time with Lizzie and you— you said you didn't mind but she kept on insisting and you said they leave. they always do. I'm not going to leave you, Y/N, I promise. You're one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I'm not letting you go."

Oh.

"Seb," Y/N whispered, her own eyes now filled to the brim with tears. "Don't cry," he chuckled with a watery voice, wiping her tears off. "It's just— all my relationships before you… the guys were assholes. They always left 2-3 months in. I— I wasn't taking any chances with you, you know… plus, you're kind of a famous guy and you can get so many better women—"

He didn't want to hear it. Better than Y/N? Impossible. He pressed his lips to her, immediately deepening the kiss when she reciprocated. "I promise you, I cannot do any better than you." Y/N smiled shyly at his words and his heart filled with happiness. "Let's go to sleep."

Both of them tired from the crying, they got undressed without trying any funny business. Y/N put on her usual pair of shorts and one of Sebastian's huge t-shirts, getting into the bed where a boxer-clad Sebastian already lay. He pulled her into his arms and she rested her head on his chest, draping an arm around his taut abdomen.

"Comfy?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah. Goodnight, doll, I love you."

"I love you too, Seb. Goodnight."

"...Never gonna leave you."

"Not a chance."

---

A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave a like if you liked it!

[krabmeat]

𝟷𝟶𝟶 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜? 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢? 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔? 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛?

HELL YEAH FELLAS YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT!! FIRST MAJOR MILESTONE BAYBEEEE LETS GOOOOOO!!

guys, i really dont think you see how insanely mental this is. like what?!?! i joined here cause a friend of mine was gushing about a writer here and eventually convinced me to get tumblr. they called me their "noob reading friend /affectionate" and now look at me!! not even a year in and ive gained a crowd? thats so damn cool to think about!! to think that this many people are willing to put aside time in their day to read some fics made by me, im floored man!! all in all though, i have no one to thank but my wonderful mutuals and followers who have helped floor and construct the fantastic beginnings of this blog. which is why im here to bring you all this event that i sincerely hope you guys enjoy!

🦑KRABS KAN MAKE WRITING EVENTS WOW!!🦑

ALRIGHT FELLAS, IM DOING A WRITING EVENT!! HERES THE RULES AND PROMPTS NOW BOSSMEN!

~rules~

only 2 people per prompt

despite me not writing romantic fics yet, all participants are absolutely welcome to!

no smut/nsfw, im not that kind of blog and i do plan on reading entries so please dont submit anything related!!

any and all fics glorifying and supporting bigoted or misogynistic ideals will not be tolerated or respected. this is non-negotioable but if the fic has any of this that results in the putting down of or generally recognizing these ideals as negative then that is completely fine!

you are to use the quote prompts in your fic (im gonna be loose on this though so dw!! :DD)

you can use as many different prompts as youd like!!

please keep submissions in mcyt territory as thats who i write for most. but this doesnt confine to just mcyts in the dsmp! go wild dudes, hermitcraft, third life, pop off!!

keep all fics for minors platonic and platonic ONLY

generally know and respect the boundaries for ccs

when asking for a prompt, please put who you will be writing for!!

TAG ME IN YOUR FICS!! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH PLEASE ID ADORE IT IF YOU TAGGED ME SO I CAN READ YOUR WONDERFUL WORK!!

you can use and interpret the prompts any way you want! doesnt matter if its in the angst section, you see fluff potential? go for it, vice versa!!

~prompts~

~fluff~

"I swear, if you make us late one more time I'll tape a clock to your wrist." "Isnt that a watch-?" "Shut it!"

"Look! I think it likes me!" (@ohworm-writes with cc!beeduo)

"Man, how did I catch such a good person?"

"Yknow, your parents really did something great when they made you."

"WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN?!" "THERE ARE WARNING LABELS RIGHT THERE!"

"Take a picture, itll last longer~" "Okay!" "Wait you actually did that-?"

"That does NOT fit you." "Yeah it does! Just gotta roll it up a bit!"

"You aren't 'built different', you're just stupid." (@ohworm-writes with cc!tommy @jschllatt with cc!sapnap

"If it ever happens again, tell me. You know i adore you."

"Well..they dont even deserve you anyways! Just look at you- gorgeous!!"

~angst~

"KEEP F*CKING WALKING, THEN! CANT EVEN FACE YOUR OWN DAMN PARTNER! (or friend! :])"

"No, youre amazing!" "Then why arent i treated like it?"

"Do it again, see if i care."

"Guys..? GUYS! THEY ARENT MOVING!"

"Put the damn drink down and talk to me!"

"Its about time you get whats due, you know."

"So not only do you think im stupid, but you also think im still naive?"

"Just take me seriously for once in your damn life!"

"You'd better start running in the next 5 seconds."

"What do you take me for, a joke?!" "Wasnt that obvious?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now that thats done, heres the ask game part of the event!!! send me the corresponding emoji in my ask box and ill respond!

👽~ ill tell you a weird or memorable occurance that has happened on tumblr between friends and moots!

😳~ ill kin assign you and try to guess who you kin! (friends and moots only)

🍒~ ill rate your blog aesthetic on a scale of 1-10

🥀~ ill give you a bunch of emojis that remind me of you! (friends and moots only)

😎~ ill tell you obscure things i think are very neat!

🌺~ ill tell you a random interesting fact i know!

🦑~ if you send me a description of yourself, personality etc then ill write you a short ship fic with a mcyt!! specify if you want it to be platonic or romantic and if you want it to be c! or cc!(this is to work on my romantic writing!! friends and moots only)

💃~ ill tell you songs that remind me of you! (friends and moots only)

📕~ ill tell you something small or obscure i secretly think about you! (friends and moots only)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now...onto the final part- HONOURABLE MENTIONS!!!

@myceliummenace ~ these guys got me into tumblr, some of my closest friends and theyve been supporting me since day one. i couldnt be happier to breathe the same air as these guys, they all deserve a crown and if you disagree i will chomp your hand

@niceimafan ~ an absolute saint!! i came across inks former writing blog and fell in love with both them and their wonderful work /p!!!! theyve helped me through some hellish times and are all around so damn open and accepting

@jschllatt ~ istfg this lady is just-- SOOOO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT??? nat is incredibly talented and has encouraged me throughout my time here and i couldnt be happier with how weve grown as friends!! and i know, despite how wholesome and soft nat seems to be i promise you she knows how to keep a bit going like no other. an amazing moot, stay funky :]

@im-an-ungodly-mess ~ okay look,, i know i havent interacted with these guys for a lot buttt...CAN YOU REALLY BLAME ME??!!? LIKE CMON THEYRE ALL JUST SO COOL!!! the moment i met them i knew our chaotic energies would merge and boy did they merge alright. also theyre just insanely nice and super willing to endulge with me in my random interest which is always a sexy trait to have. 10 out of 10, these guys are neato

@ohworm-writes ~ ahhh wormmm, delightful all around and just a sweetheart....BUT THEYVE GOT SHENANIGANS- as well as being extremely skilled as well like, dayummm!!! i live for our bond over fandoms outside of the mcyt fandom and i feel blessed to have you be a moot! much love, dear!

@marcooze ~ bro....whyd you have to do me like that dude? being so gosh damn kind and accepting like that like sheesh all the stuff you reblog is gold!!! it can be the most cracked out post or the most serious and informational one. idgaf that youre a reblog blog, you mean the world to me and i shall place a supple kiss on your hand as bros do <3

@ramzawrites ~ THE FIRST WRITERS BLOG IVE EVER FOLLOWED!!! ramza dear, if no one has ever told you how iconic you are then PLEASE LET ME BE THE FIRST!!! everything you do leaves me in awe and despite your talent, you still have miles and miles of kindness and generosity? you are one in a million, ramza. you deserve everything and please know how much you mean to me. thank you for supporting me so much for so long, and i hope your days are filled with really cool rocks :]]

[macbetha]

below the cut, you'll find an interest check chapter for quatervois, a nancy drew pc fic. it's francy and also my idea of my absolute dream game. please let me know what you think and enjoy!

+++

After Ned breaks up with her and she loses her father, Nancy struggles to find her old vigor for detective work. While on vacation in London with Bess and George, Nancy accepts the urgent invitation to return Blackmoor Manor. Her English getaway quickly turns into an investigation once Nancy realizes the true reason Nigel Mookergee asked her back to the moors. Finding Deirdre Shannon at the manor under the same pretense only sets Nancy’s nerves further on edge. It isn’t until the Hardy Boys show up in Blackmoor that Nancy gets a glimpse of who she once was. With a manor full of suspects and a glass heart cracked open, Nancy is determined to find the truth.

Dear Ned,

How are you? It’s been a while. I’ve always started off my letters telling you about my latest case, but I’m not on one right now. I’m sure that’s hard to believe. Bess and George have whisked me away to London. I’m sure you would love it here. This is the first time I’ve seen Bess and George since I sold the house in River Heights. I stayed with Kyler and Matt in Ireland for a while. I needed a change of scenery. Their daughter just turned two. I’m somewhat jealous I’m happy for them. Anyways, I miss you I hope you’re doing well. I’m sure New York is lovely at Christmas time. I hope Stephanie is I wish Stephanie well How is Stephanie? I hope Stephanie is doing all right. I appreciated the card Stephanie sent when dad passed away. Warm regards, Merry Christmas, Love Nancy

She stares down at the letter as if the red ink were her own blood. It feels just as wounding, seeing her emotions made physical in the words on the paper. Only when a tear splatters on the page does she break free from her trance to the past. Nancy is the only person in her hotel suite, yet she works to rid the evidence like one of her own suspects. She pulls her feet up in the desk chair and crosses her ankles, holding the arch of her right foot – it recently became the victim of her latest culprit. Nancy’s foot got caught under the getaway car’s tire, and she is lucky to even be able to walk after the event. Months later, it’s stiff as hell with the most intense cramps she’s ever endured. Heart racing to forget the night it happened, she focuses on the snowfall out the window – counting little sparkles of snowflakes, though the world blurs when she squints. The doctor thought her failing sight as well as the daily headaches were on account of being hit in the head so many times.

She busies herself with choosing a postcard to send Hannah and Nancy selects one with a cat dressed up as a royal guard. The cuteness puts a smile on her face, however small – she hopes it’ll do the same for Hannah, but there is no telling. Nancy had the gut-feeling Hannah was lying about recognizing her the last time Nancy visited the nursing home. Torment swirls like wind to fallen leaves. She doesn’t have Hannah or Togo to come home to. Togo passed just before Nancy’s thirty-second birthday, and Carson fell ill soon after that. Nancy looks to her hotel bed where Mr. Woogle Woggle sits tucked between two pillows. It seems he is the only one that hasn’t left her. A knock on her hotel door reminds her that is simply not true. Nancy rights herself, fixing her posture to the stance of someone passionate, and she opens the door. Bess and George greet her with blazing smiles; Nancy gives silent thanks for their presence in her life. She would still be in Scotland with Kyler and Matt, had Bess and George not insisted to take her on a vacation. Nancy imagines that their insistence was due to them wanting to keep Nancy from spending Christmas alone on the road again like last year. “Nancy,” Bess stresses. “You’re never going to guess who we ran into in the lobby!” Horror strikes dull and loud in her ears. Surely, it’s not Ned. Please, don’t let it be Ned. George says, “Give you a hint: they were involved in one of your cases.” Nancy’s despair leaves her throat tight. She glances down the hallway, preparing to yank Bess and George into her room and dial her Cathedral contact to get them set up in witness protection.

“That didn’t narrow it down at all, George,” Bess says with a roll of her eyes. “Nancy’s been on hundreds of cases.” Nancy’s strain creeps into her one word: “Who?” Bess and George beam. “Maya Nguyn!” ++

Nancy follows Bess and George to the elevator in a hurried stupor. No thoughts can she conjure as she steps free from the elevator walls which seem to close in on her; Nancy marches into the lobby and notices a woman in the crowd of tourists. She stands with her back to Nancy, her hair drawn up in a bun, and her chin is lifted high with no time for games. Maya turns around and her bright red mouth stretches into a smile. “Nancy!” “Maya,” Nancy huffs in disbelief. She tenses in Maya��s sudden embrace before all but falling into it. This is something good I did; Nancy cherishes with shut eyes. This is someone I helped. When Maya pulls back, Nancy says, “What are you doing all the way out here? You said in your last letter, you were still in Washington.” “My house is technically there,” Maya nods. “But I get to work on the road more these days.” Her brows crease over a sympathetic smile. “Bess and George tell me you’re kind of in the same boat.” Nancy shrugs, struggling to hold Maya’s concerned gaze. “It’s just easier,” Nancy lies. Maya seems to see right through it, but she doesn’t speak on it. Nancy will have to thank her later. George says, “Maya offered us free tickets to a play she’s reviewing tonight and get this – it’s at the Globe Theater!” “Remind me what’s so special about a globe theater,” Bess sighs, checking her nails. “Not ‘a’, Bess, the.” George shakes her head. “The Globe Theater – well, technically it’s a reconstruction of the first one, but it’s where Shakespeare wrote his plays.” “It’s the opening night of a new play,” Maya explains. “And Nancy, you’ll never guess who the star is.” Nancy cannot take anymore guessing games. “Brady Armstrong.” Maya blinks. “Well – yes, actually.” Nancy frowns. “Wait, really?” “Yes,” Maya laughs. “I’ll be conducting an interview with him after the show if you want to go backstage and chew him out for all the stunts he pulled back in the day.” A spark of vigor heightens Nancy’s senses. That doesn’t sound bad at all. Still – “Are you sure we won’t be a distraction or –” “Nancy.” Maya’s hand falls on her shoulder. “You saved my life. You’re the furthest thing from a distraction.” Gratitude floods her before Nancy nods. “All right, then.” +++ The walk to the Globe would be depressive what with the sky being the color of a soaked napkin, but the Christmas decorations lift everyone’s spirits. Nancy limps by a shop playing Christmas oldies through the open door and she is borne back to her father listening to records over cocoa on Christmas morning. She tries to push the memory from her mind, then she thinks of building snowmen with Ned and having snowball fights that turned into the sweetest kisses she’s ever received. The music won’t stop. There are three Christmas trees in the display window and their flashing lights strike pain behind Nancy’s eyes. She pants through a sensory overload before someone squeezes her hand. Maya smiles in understanding as Bess and George walk obliviously in front of them. “It’s hard,” Maya says. “This life on the road. You pick up a few habits.” Nancy squeezes her hand in thanks before tucking her own in her peacoat’s pocket. “I want to enjoy this,” she admits quietly. “But I think the holidays are always hard.” Maya nods. “It won’t be this way forever, Nancy,” she promises. “I’ve got my fingers crossed for you.” Cross your fingers, there’s a story behind this door! Nancy swallows around the lump of panic in her throat. She plasters on a smile. +++ The theater is packed with noise and touching and all-around boisterous patrons. They find their seats in the crowd and Nancy doesn’t watch where she’s going – she must keep her eyes on the open ceiling to remember how to breathe. She sits down at the end of the group and Maya passes out programs. Quatervois, the title reads. Bess says, “What does that mean?” “It means you’re at a crossroads,” Maya says. “A turning point.” “Sounds a little dramatic,” George grumbles. Nancy traces the swooping lines of the title with

her thumb, repeating the process until the lights go down. The masked chorus emerges from the shadows and gives a synopsis: Down from Olympus a great hero emerges, Mighty in his strength and courage! A choice he must make Shall he ignore fate? Will he choose love, Or follow his destiny there-of? When Brady saunters on stage in an impossibly short silk chiton, it’s an out-of-body experience for Nancy. He still hasn’t grown his ponytail back, so Simone could very well be in the audience right now. Nancy rubs her aching temple at the thought. Brady begins his journey as the character Diogenes, a demigod that was supposedly – according to the play’s plot – written out of ancient Greek mythos. Diogenes must defeat those who want to leave him forgotten in history, lest he admit that he can’t win this fight and live his life like everyone else. Nancy assumes the play’s ending too soon. She imagines this will be a droll experience written only to paint Brady as a glorious hero that can conquer anything – but she is quickly surprised. Brady is stabbed in the final act and addresses the audience in a wail: And so my story ends a breath too early, No time to even be weary! The moon shall pass over my corpse, And the sun will beat down on my ashes with no remorse. Today, I have failed my quartervois Alone, forgotten, and lost. When the curtain falls, Nancy’s mouth is parted in disbelief as a tear burns down her cheek. They don’t receive a proper goodbye with Maya since the rest of the crowd is bustling toward the exit. She does have time to say that Brady is producing a new television series and will be scouting some locations further into Essex; Maya will be following the film crew there for test shoots. She embraces each girl individually and holds Nancy for a beat longer, whispering, “You’ll call if you need to talk?” “Of course,” Nancy says by impulse. “Same to you.” +++ Nancy is proud of herself for going out, but when she closes the door to her hotel suite, her back thunks against the wall and she must take deep breaths for several minutes. She decides to treat herself to a bubble bath even though it’s nearly midnight. She rolls her hair up into a bun and looks at it in the mirror, how haphazard and messy hers is in comparison to Maya. Nancy isn’t jealous – but she can’t help but notice when people are thriving. She wants to figure out how to do it herself and hasn’t found the cure yet. The bath is claw-footed and deep. Nancy sinks into the steaming water before goosebumps rise on her arms, and her freckled skin blushes in the heat. The water does wonders for her foot. She eases her head back on the lip of the tub and nears a light doze when her cell phone rings. It rests atop a stack of towels by the tub. Nancy wipes her damp hand off before looking to the screen. Frank Hardy. Nancy answers and taps the speaker button to relax back in the tub. “Hey.” “Hi, Nance,” Frank says, his voice a familiar balm after such a stressful time. “What’s going on?” “Things aren’t too different from last week’s call,” Nancy smiles. “But I’m on vacation with Bess and George.” “Oh wow! That’s awesome. I hope it’s been fun.” Nancy’s glazed eyes blink. “Yeah,” she rasps. “It’s nice.” She clears her throat, searching for her old enthusiasm. “But what about you? How’s Joe?” “Same as usual, a pain in my ass.” Nancy chuckles before a distinctive lift raises Frank’s voice. “We’re actually getting ready to get on a plane for a case – but I wanted to make sure everything’s good with you.” Nancy’s hand closes in a fist on her raised knee. “Gosh, it’s been so long since I’ve been on a case.” “Not really. You just took a few months off to stay with Kyler, right?” “Yeah, but that’s the longest I’ve ever gone without a case since I started.” “I’d give you ours if I could,” Frank says. “Really not looking forward to such a long plane ride. Oh, they’re calling for our gate – but do you want me call you when I land?” Gratefulness is a warm glow in her heart. “No, that’s okay – but

thank you. Be safe on your trip and tell Joe I said hi.” “Can do.” Frank pauses. “I – tell Bess and George I said hi.” “Can do,” Nancy repeats. She chews her lip. “See you soon?” She feels foolish for saying something when Frank is headed to a case. While the weekly phone calls have kept Nancy sane, it would be even better to see the Hardy Boys. “I’ll make it happen,” Frank promises. “See you, Nance.” After they hang up, Nancy struggles to get out of the tub with her swollen foot. She gets into a pair of sweats and wraps up some ice in a washcloth, then holds it against her foot. Nancy mulls over her conversation with Frank, wondering how much of her poor mood could be due to not solving a mystery. With a deep yawn, she tosses the soaked washcloth in the wastebasket, not able to walk to the bathroom to put it in the sink. She cuddles up to her teddy bear and flicks the lamp off when her phone rocks to life on the nightstand. Bewildered, Nancy turns the lamp back on to look at the screen. The number is unknown; she sees her hand tremble around the phone. She lets the call go to voicemail before the phone vibrates to life once again. Bracing herself, Nancy answers. “Hello?” “Yes, hello – I’m trying to reach a one Nancy Drew?” The voice is British and eerily familiar, like Nancy heard it in a dream. “This is she.” “Splendid! Oh, you wouldn’t believe the trouble I’ve gone to in order to find your number.” “Sorry? Who is this?” “Why, Nigel Mookergee. We met at –” “Blackmoor,” Nancy whispers. “Nigel, hi. What’s going on?” “I’m afraid the manner of my call is not a jovial one,” he says. “How should I explain this? Well, I suppose from the start. You see –” He sighs. “Don’t tell anyone I’m speaking of this, but the Penvellyns have fallen into a bit of… financial trouble.” Nancy says, “’Financial trouble’?” “It’s certainly not my business to spread, but yes. It’s not that they are a poor family by any means, but one diplomat’s salary is not enough to keep up a castle.” Nancy sits up, grabbing a pen and notepad from her bedside table. She jots as Nigel continues. “The Penvellyns began to host historical tours at the manor – much to Mrs. Drake’s dismay, I might add. Jane wishes to expand the business to the paranormal side of things, and I don’t quite agree with the idea myself, but she insists it’s just what the manor needs.” Nancy finishes scrawling and says, “So, you’re working for the Penvellyns now?” “Yes. I’m afraid there’s been some situations – inconsequential events, if you will – that need a glance over.” Nancy arches a brow. “You mean an investigation.” “Ah, such a serious word. I simply want to make sure we are fully prepared to expand the business.” Nancy’s eyes narrow. “Right. When would you need me there?” “As soon as possible -” Nigel catches himself. “I mean, at your earliest convenience.” Nancy glances over her notes, running her hand over the page filled by red ink. She closes her eyes against the sight and says, “I’ll be there tomorrow.”

thank you so much for reading! please let me know what you think and stay safe. and please consider following me here and on twitter! xoxo

[kashimos-hajime]

dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries. 

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker​ and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky​ with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s’mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too. 

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

.

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever? 

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.

More on that later. I’m tired.

God, why him?

I HATE THIS.

goodnight.

.

Nov. 16/20

Dear Jane,

James visited again today. He sat beside me and we talked until the nurses had to kick him out. He also brought the flowers.

I asked about Girlfriend casually. I said I liked her.

He said he did, too.

I don’t know why I think he’s lying. No, I do.

It’s because jealousy is the green-eyed bitch from highschool who still shows up in my life because she thinks she’s relevant to society.

That was mean. Unrequited love makes you mean. Side effect noted.

P.S. The deep stuff includes his past, his arm, his memory, his favourite colour. I dunno why that matters. It just does.

.

Nov. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Got out of the hospital today because of advanced technology and all that. Nothing’s left but a scar and residual soreness. James helped me to my room and said to call him if I had a problem.

I joked that he has a girlfriend and for some reason, he got really weird about it. It’s hard to describe. I dunno. Nat dropped by for popcorn and movies.

It’s 2:32AM. I’m wondering if he’s in the kitchen but I’m confined to bed rest so I don’t know. Also, Nat is asleep beside me and I don’t want to bother her.

Hopefully I can get up and move in a few days. Life is boring.

.

Nov. 24/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry we haven’t caught up in a moment. Work’s been hectic and I’ve been working overtime trying to make ends meet. Most days I’m in the office or lab, just trying to get enough things done so I can take time off come Christmas.

James stopped by tonight with Chinese takeout and some sweet buns.

He broke up with his girlfriend, too.

Guess that’s why he was being weird about it.

I tried being as casual as I could asking why, but he didn’t want to talk about it, so I asked why he came by. Couldn’t be for the company because when I’m in work mode, I just don’t talk and he knows that.

He said something about his arm feeling funny so I gave it a quick diagnostics check.

I think both of us knew his arm was feeling fine.

Everything is stupid, life is meaningless, and James’ lips are the prettiest shade of pink in the ugly lights of the lab.

I would very much like to have kissed him, but I didn’t.

Girl code.

It’ll probably be a while before I get another chance to actually have time and energy to write another diary entry. Christmas season’s coming close and Pepper is gonna need help with the party.

Yay, me.

.

Dec. 4/20

Dear Jane,

Morgan asked me in less eloquent words if I had a boyfriend (it was more like “You boyfriend?” But whatever. Who even taught her that word?) and I swear to GOD Nat could not make it anymore obvious looking at James.

Remind me to absolutely throttle her. I don’t care if she’s the infamous Black Widow. She has clearly never seen me hopped up on nothing but a negative amount of sleep and rage/embarrassment/spite/all of the above.

On another note, Pep asked if I was bringing a plus one for the party. I said I’d think about it. Normally I’d just take Sam but he has his eyes on someone at the VA and I like my friends getting laid so no go there.

Might just go alone. I don’t know.

Pep said I should take James, but I don’t really think she knows the truth about that situation. Luckily, Tony instantly rejected the idea and said he’d find me a date if I couldn’t.

Thank the universe for at least placing me in the close circle of the most well-known and richest man in the world because he also gave me his card and said go wild.

He knows me so well. I’m thinking about Christmas shopping when I have another free day, and I’ll pay for that with my own money, of course, but clothes shopping is a free market.

I cannot wait.

.

Dec. 12/20

Dear Jane,

I wish I could show you my haul, but I got so much stuff Happy had to drive to help me. Besides obvious gifts, I also managed to snag a gorgeous dress for the party.

Thoughts on black and gold?

I think it’s beautiful. Hopefully Nat and Sharon think so. We’re having a girls night tonight and showing off outfits, so that’s exciting.

James asked if we could meet up tonight.

I told him I had plans and he looked so downcast.

I dunno. Everything feels weird between us. Like we’re fine, we’re best friends still, but something’s changed when no one was looking. He’s single now. I guess that energy is different because I had gotten used to his energy with ex-Girlfriend.

I don’t exactly mind but it’s not ideal either. I miss summer. It’s much less complicated than winter. Winter, one has to worry about wind and chills and snows blocking roads, black ice, dry skin, freezing fingers.

Summer: there’s just a lot of sun, wind, bugs, and the vaguest notion of being bored.

Look, I love winter. It’s my favourite season. It’s quiet and gorgeous and dreamy, even though it gets dreary in New York. The snow falls slowly sometimes, Christmas is gorgeous here, and I’d rather be cold than sweating buckets, and there are no bugs to bother me. Also, it gives me a good reason to stay in the labs or in my room where it’s warm and toasty.

I just miss the relative simplicity when James and I were just strangers on the edge of being friends, which is, in retrospect, a selfish reason to like one season and hate another.

Well, some philosopher somewhere probably said something about humanity being selfish.

.

Dec. 16/20

Dear Jane,

T-minus nine days until the party.

No date in sight.

Maybe I’ll ask Anderson from HR. We had coffee together a few times and he’s nice. Good catch: smart, not too bad looking, and really nice. I’ll head down tomorrow and ask.

Alpine had purred when I told him my plan and headbutted my hand, so I guess I got the Alpine-Seal-of-Approval.

.

Dec. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Operation: Ask Anderson from HR to Tony’s Christmas Party failed. Granted, it could’ve been because that was a god awful title and that that name, in itself, prophesied catastrophic failure, but also because I was accosted by my best friend.

I wish I meant Sam.

Nope. James caught me in the elevator and we made small talk. Sounds fine, right? Then we turned the topic to the party. Talked about clothes and prospective celebrity appearances and drinks and food. Just about everything, so might as well turn to talks about dates, which meant I had to explain why I was in the elevator in the first place.

Going down to ask Anderson ended in James revealing that he didn’t have a date either.

He doesn’t know who Anderson is, which I thought would be the case, and he popped the question before the doors opened.

Notice how I said “didn't” have a date.

Guess who’s going to the party with James, clearly stated as friends, platonic soulmates, etc.?

Me.

Yippee.

.

Dec. 18/20

Dear Jane,

It’s 3:42AM and I’m in the rec room as usual. I was gonna not write here today but it normally helps me sleep to just write a bit, get what little thoughts are in my head out. Yeah.

I hear James in the kitchen talking to Alpine and it’s making me smile like an idiot.

Oh, shit, he knows I’m in here. He’s making milkshakes.

I am morally obligated by best friend duties to join him.

Goodnight, Jane.

.

Dec. 24/20

Dear Jane,

I’m not sleeping with James Buchanan Barnes tomorrow night.

This is a resolute promise. An early New Year’s resolution.

.

Dec. 25/20

Dear Jane,

Merry Christmas! 

In between jovial festivities, I’ve finally found a little nook that’s quiet enough to write in. We opened presents, had a big family breakfast, went skating and just lounged around, and frankly, I’m exhausted. Need to recharge the old social battery.

Among the assortment of gifts is one that stands out to me. James got me a gift that said “Open When Alone” and I did before I started this entry and it was a fucking necklace. Like, a gorgeous one. It’s gold and thin and it feels wonderful. There’s a little cat paw charm on it and it’s so pretty because he has a matching bracelet for himself and I have still not yet recovered.

It’s just so sweet and it reminds me why I love him.

Yes, love has made me unbelievably sappy. I just heaved the biggest sigh in history.

Unfortunately, I have to go earlier tonight. To the party, as written in previous entries. I remember my oath of one-night celibacy and I intend on keeping it, despite how fucking endearing this gift was, because he said it best: we’re just friends. I’m not about to coerce my best friend into sleeping with me out of a piteous, unrequited love. That’s just gross.

You will either see me hungover tomorrow, or very drunk later tonight. It’s all very depending on how this night turns out.

.

Dec. 26/20

Dear Jane,

Fuck.

P.S. He REALLY does not mind me calling him James. Take that as dirtily or as clandestinely as you wish.

.

Dec. 27/20

Dear Jane,

I spent the entire day in bed with very pleasurable company.

I am SO GLAD we haven’t gotten called in because James doesn’t leave unless to go to sleep in his own bed or to eat, and I do NOT want to explain to the team that James fucked my brains out for two days straight because my heart is bursting.

He’s a good kisser. His lips are soft.

Intimate knowledge of that is now burned into my memory for future reference.

God, this is a dream come true. He doesn’t even question it, he just

It’s like I’m a goddess to him. He treats me like one, at least, and it’s like he’ll do anything I ask. And we act like it’s normal, too. Midnight trips to the kitchen included.

Best Christmas ever.

.

Dec. 28/20

Dear Jane,

I feel like I’m ignoring you but I’m also having the best sex of my life. He’s just… so fucking good and it’s a holiday and holy shit my mind is blown.

Love at first meeting isn’t real.

Well, maybe this one time, it was destiny.

.

Dec. 29/20

Dear Jane,

It isn’t just the sex, you know? It’s the pillowtalk, too. He just makes me laugh so much and everything is so easy between us and it feels real. Popcorn and chips in bed, some mojitos, just each other’s presence. It’s enough like that, you know?

Some quote about how the one you love should be both your lover and your best friend is in my head but I’m too lazy to look it up. James’ head is in my lap and he’s just reading while I’m writing and everything seems perfect.

He doesn’t ask what I’m writing because he knows it’s private and I trust him.

This is perfect.

I think I really am IN love with him.

.

Jan. 1/21

You know that cliché/tradition of New Year’s kisses?

WELL THEN.

Best (and worst) New Year’s ever. I’ll explain more later. I’m too tired and too angry and also sore and bruised.

See you when I’m not hungover.

.

Jan. 5/21

Dear Jane,

I’m finally stable enough to write.

In a crazy turn of events, Barnes and I got into a fight because of what happened after New Year’s Day’s events: I caught him leaving before I woke up and at first, curious questions ensued, and it wasn’t a fight but then it became one and I don’t even know how it happened. I wasn’t even mad. He just started being weird and I got annoyed and we tried and failed to keep our voices down. Luckily, my room is pretty soundproof.

Things just got out of hand and I feel like tearing my hair out. I wanna storm up to him and just yell some more.

Tony came into my room and didn’t say shit about my hickies and the fact that James is avoiding me like the plague. He gave me a really good hug, though and then gave me a few weeks off extra. I don’t know how he knows, but then again, it’s Tony.

He just said love’s tough sometimes.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I’m thinking about just taking a long vacation and disappearing. It seems like a good route to take at this point.

.

Jan. 6/21

Dear Jane,

James is looking at me right now as I write this. I wonder if I should look back or if he’s going to come up to me. We’ll see.

I’m only writing this so it seems like I’m busy. I’m running out of things to say, honestly. Can he just go? What’s the point in staring like that? What’s the point?

I could ask myself the same question. What’s the point in loving someone who’ll never love you? Yeah, he’s sleeping with me but he pulls away every time I try to do something more. Outside the bubble of my room and the small time frame of post-11PM to around 4:45AM, he acts like he’s allergic to intimacy.

It was never like that with ex-Girlfriend.

Maybe it’s something to do with me.

I don’t know, but he keeps looking and I want to get up and leave, but I won’t. I’m not gonna let him win.

.

Jan. 6/21

He didn’t. He just went out. Sam and Steve asked if I was okay because as soon as he left, I got up for the bathroom and screamed into a towel.

I don’t think either of them knows what’s going on, but they have a notion.

.

Jan. 9/21

Dear Jane,

He apologized. Still no explanation as to why, but it feels weird.

I told him I’m going on a vacation to Switzerland. Go skiing or something and asked if he wanted to come.

It was stupid to ask, but he said yes.

Shit.

.

Jan. 14/21

Dear Jane,

Switzerland is lovely.

No work is relaxing. Awkwardness between me and the other traveller on this vacation. Weather’s supposed to be nice when we get there. Sunny snow days, pretty mountains, other Swiss things.

No other comment.

.

Jan. 21/21

Dear Jane,

I lasted all of a week.

Yep, I slept with him again, and yes, he was back in his hotel bed come sunrise.

I dunno. I’m over it. We don’t apologize and hope everything gets back to normal because neither of us want to say anything to ruin it any further and we both have a major fear of the complicated. To be fair, he said he didn’t want to sleep with me if I was completely against it.

Also, I tried calling him Bucky at dinner like ex-Girlfriend (and everyone else) does and he made the most disgusted face.

He said, and I quote, “Bucky? When did I stop being James?”

I told him I was trying something out and he said it failed. Snarky bastard.

I guess if he’s still James, that must mean I’m still special.

That’s the Tony-inherited ego talking.

But it does make me exceptionally happy to play with the idea that I’m special to him. Best friend with convoluted benefits. Sounds like the title of a very long-winded self-help book that doesn’t really help much but that does sound like the story of my life so I can’t complain too much.

We’re going home in a few days.

I’ll probably sleep with him again. Bet Steve’s shield that I do.

.

Jan. 24/21

Dear Jane,

I get three Steve’s shields because I was right every single fucking day.

He’s like a habit I can’t quite kick and don’t really want to.

We snuggled afterwards last night. His arm was around my shoulders, we were naked, I was resting my head on his chest. For a moment, it felt like something couples do and then I fell asleep and woke up alone.

Quantum physics is easier to understand than this but I think we’re being mutually exclusive right now, so it’s almost dating.

I dunno. I don’t mind it anymore. It’s better than nothing.

.

Feb. 2/21

Dear Jane,

I’m absolutely miserable.

I’m still getting laid, but that’s not related. Correlation and causation or something.

Why is New York so dreary and when can everything just stop?

I don’t know. Winter is ending and now it’s in that awful transition phase between seasons and it’s mucky and rainy and disgusting. Tony got these limited edition ice cream flavours though so I’m gonna ask James if we can make milkshakes out of them or something.

He doesn’t like the muck either. That’s not really relevant, I guess.

.

Feb. 14/21

Dear Jane,

I got flowers and chocolate from the department because I think they can sense I’ve been in a bad mood since forever. Then, there was an anonymous delivery and inside was this gorgeous chain bracelet that matches the necklace sort of. I lied and told the department it was from Pepper.

What a wretched holiday.

Yours truly.

.

Feb. 18/21

Dear Jane,

Normally, when boys get their haircut, they look ugly for a day or two after.

Not James.

He got his hair cut shorter and he looks really good. Like unbelievably good. Short hair fits him just as much as long hair does.

No other observations.

.

Feb. 25/21

Dear Jane,

It was Morgan’s birthday party today. James came in one of those brown jackets with the sheepskin wool inside and he looked so good. We mainly stayed apart to prevent any dalliance because one does not disappear from the Madame Secretary’s birthday party and the team doesn’t really know what’s happening behind the scenes except for Nat and Tony, really.

I really wanted to kiss him in front of our friends. I caught him staring a few times, and every time, the smile seemed to vanish off his face.

I’m lying in bed and it feels pretty empty.

It occurs to me that I’ve been in love for a pretty long time and I’m not even in a relationship with the guy.

Energy could’ve been devoted to so many other things and I’d hate being in love if it weren’t for the fact that it’s James.

Again, love making me sappy and all that.

.

Feb. 28/21

Dear Jane,

Jane is such a common name. Some would call it plain yet it means gift from God.

I wonder if James knew that.

.

Mar. 10/21

Dear Jane,

It’s James’ birthday. Birthday sex is a requirement and a desire. I also got him a gift which is a pair of new black Timbs. I hope he likes them. I’m excited for cake, I guess. Morgan did my makeup but I’m gonna have to wipe it off for the small little party tonight.

I think, ordinarily, I’d be in knots because it’s James’ birthday and I love him and he’s my best friend, but I just don’t know. March is fairly boring and contemplative and rainy. Work is work. Helen Cho did a presentation on her Cradle technology. Very cool.

.

Mar. 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s raining and doesn’t feel like spring. Alpine vomited on my bed a few days ago because he’s not feeling well. James and I took him to the vet and he’s on antibiotics. Poor boy. He’s sleeping in the corner of my room right now while James is away on a mission. I think I’ll just work from my room for a bit until he’s feeling better.

Nothing much to report, which is why I didn’t write anything. The month passed by too quickly. James should be back by the end of the month. I miss him and not because of the sex. No one else who doesn’t work for me or pays me listens to me ramble on their own free will. Talking to screens just isn’t the same.

.

April 1/21

James got back really early this morning and I, by tradition, was awake. I sort of wish I wasn’t though. In true April Fool’s tradition, I made fun of him for being a day late to which he genuinely apologized. I told him to shower and get to sleep but he was in that mood where you’re so exhausted you’re wide awake.

James suggested we make really strong cocktails for each other as a celebration for an extraction mission completed successfully.

Who am I to say no to celebrating?

He really likes grapefruit juice so I made a REALLY strong Grapefruit Paloma. He made this really interesting drink that was purple and tasted like oranges and cranberries. A lot of blue curacao was in it so it was pretty bitter but it hit like a fucking truck which is probably why I didn’t understand anything he said at first.

He told me he loved me.

I think, somehow, he managed to get drunk after the Grapefruit Paloma and two more bottles of vodka. Don’t ask me how because Steve NEVER gets drunk. Maybe HYDRA-brand serum is faulty? I don’t know.

I asked if he knew what date it was. He laughed really loudly, said no, realized, stuttered apologies and then said it again.

It was the most perfect sound in the world and it was the best moment in recent history.

Or, the sickest practical joke.

Consensus not yet reached.

.

April 2/21

Dear Jane,

I asked if he remembered what happened yesterday morning.

He did not.

Sickest practical joke confirmed.

.

April 9/21

Dear Jane,

I’ve been avoiding writing because I’ve felt a whole lot of nothing. Everything is abysmal and James’ confession is all I can think about. Tony’s on my ass about slipping and he has half the mind to put me on paid leave until I get my shit together, both as the head of the department and as an agent.

Drunk words are sober thoughts, all that garbage.

I wish I could live my whole life drunk and honest. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this situation where I’m stuck in eternal limbo with my best friend whom I’m in love with. Minus the drunk part.

Duty demands I return to this weathered journal until it’s finished so we’ll see. I might be back this month. Maybe not.

.

May 1/21

Dear Jane,

It rained a lot in April so now the flowers are blooming early. April showers bring May flowers. Guess it has some merit to it.

Limbo sucks. Its inescapable nature, its terrible facade of everything seeming fine when it really isn’t.

Of course, James still makes me smile, but nothing seems really okay when I let myself stop for a second.

I’m going out with Steve to a charity thing tomorrow. Should be a few hours worth of not thinking and free booze. Oh, and James and I made out in one of the quinjets after dinner today.

Felt weird considering we aren’t a couple, but it happened spontaneously as that is the nature of our relationship, it appears.

The cause also happens to be the cure of melancholy. Weird.

.

May 6/21

Dear Jane,

For context, it’s 5:23AM.

Went for a walk in Madison Square and then Central Park with James yesterday, although in my head it’s still today. We met up with Nat for some training at the gym. Got a bit mobbed by fans and the paps who asked if we were dating like we’re the tabloid’s biggest scoop.

We weren’t even holding hands, but I guess it’s just another reason why we shouldn’t be TOGETHER together in public.

We had another deep stuff talk again in bed after the usual business. I wanted to ask what this is between us and if he’s pursuing other options, because I’m not and I wanted to know if I should, but I also didn’t want to ruin the vibe.

He was in a good mood today, and seeing as sometimes he has nightmares, I thought it was best I don’t ruin it. He thinks I don’t notice but how do I not notice? He’s my best friend.

I kissed his cheek when he got up to leave and he kissed me goodbye on the lips.

I guess that means something.

.

May 17/21

Dear Jane,

In a moment of complete boredom, I listened to Imagine Dragons’ new album. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest, but Sharon thought it could’ve been better. Whatever.

.

May 22/21

Dear Jane,

Ran into ex-Girlfriend today. She still has that whole sunshine thing going on still. We had coffee and she asked if I got together with James yet.

I choked on my coffee and nearly died on the spot.

That’s how I learned that James apparently broke it off softly and ex-Girlfriend had, very wisely and knowingly, said that he should chase the apple of his eye before I (the apple) rotted alone and forgotten at the trunk of the tree. Or, as any sane person would say (and ex-Girlfriend DID say), get picked from the tree by another hand.

She said it was quite obvious that I was in love with James even months ago. She also thanked me for being so nice, anyway, and that it must’ve been difficult. What a fucking SAINT.

I set her up with a date with Steve because they have the same energy, honestly, and that’s going down on the 26th barring any emergencies.

Call me Cupid, but I think I just constructed the perfect match made in heaven.

Mentioned this meeting to James minus the apple detail. He asked if she was doing okay, which she was, and seemed glad for that. Between kisses and his sneaking hand beneath the covers, he also asked if there was anything else. Not really much to say on that front.

.

June 3/21

Dear Jane,

It’s starting to dry up consistently, now. It’s getting warmer, too. Sam brought me flowers and told me to at least turn the air-con on if I was gonna be stuck in the lab all day. Oh, the simplicities of summer are hopefully returning. Got out early and hung out with Morgan at the park in the evening.

It’s nice to hang out with someone so blissfully unaware with the stupidity of love. All Morgan cares about is grass and buttercups she grabs from the ground. She doesn’t have to worry about how to tell the guy she’s in love with that she loves him.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Nat said I should just buck the fuck up and tell him.

And Nat is scary when not listened to.

Much to brainstorm about.

.

June 14/21

Dear Jane,

Just here to brainstorm some ideas for future Stark Industries projects and thought I’d preface it with a small diary entry. Nothing really happened. Work’s catching up for some reason and bad guys are acting up. I’ve pulled a few all nighters, not gonna lie.

Really tired, but in a good, productive way. Haven’t thought much on the James front. Gonna have to focus on that after everything calms down.

.

June 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s officially summer and yet today was awful with only subtle hints of being okay.

So much for simplicity.

In the evening, I read on the hammock on the balcony. No one really bothered me except James, but he’s never a bother.

Steve and ex-Girlfriend (who will now be reidentified as Girlfriend) are pretty cute, and she meshes well with the group. There’s nothing really awkward between her, James, or me, so I guess two people’s summers are going well. Bully for them.

Didn’t really eat. Was too busy working. James got me dinner. Didn’t feel right and just kept working. This whole agreement between us has been very flexible but we really need to fit in a session soon.

I’ll make it work somehow.

.

June 22/21

Dear Jane,

I got my wish and didn’t at the same time. We spent the whole day in the sheets (very blissfully relaxing) and I, stupidly and with very little sleep, let it slip.

In less elegant terms, I told him I loved him. It felt very real and genuine and very-out-of-a-movie, but his reaction was less so.

What did I say? Allergic to intimacy.

He tried to play it off as best friends and even that was uncomfortable, but I, very seriously and very foolishly, corrected him that “no, James Buchanan Barnes, I am IN LOVE with you.”

He left a few minutes ago, saying something about heading down to the gym, but I know he’s just trying to avoid me.

God, how am I so stupid?

.

June 25/21

Dear Jane,

I haven’t seen James in a few days. I thought he was avoiding me but turns out he’s out of the country. Something about protection for whatever dignitary is travelling at the end of the month. I don’t know.

I wasn’t assigned to that op so the details weren’t shared liberally. Sam just said it’d be a while during the ambassador’s entire stay. High threat level which is why the Avengers were contracted.

I just hope he stays safe. I know he probably took off to take his mind off things, but I don’t know how he’s focusing when all I can think of is those three little words.

I love you.

Seems so fake the more I hear it in my head, but his reaction was so real that I think I might’ve just irreversibly messed things up.

.

July 12/21

Dear Jane,

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks. If future me finds this with blotted words, it’s because I am indeed crying while writing this.

James was medically evac’ed last night and transferred back to New York. Helen Cho was flown in from her medical conference in Minnesota where she was showcasing the newest version of the Cradle.

There was an assasination attempt and James is fucked up bad.

Holy shit, I’m so scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. It’s like an invisible demon has my heart in his claw-like hands and he’s squeezing with all his might. I think my heart might explode.

I just want to hold his hand but he’s so high risk no one’s allowed to see him right now.

The waiting room is too quiet. Steve’s holding on to Girlfriend’s hand so hard I think her bones are broken but she’s taking it like a champ. Nat’s pacing, slowly patting a sleeping Morgan who she’s carrying. Sam and Tony are talking about stuff.

It’s too quiet.

I’m so scared.

.

July 13/21

They got him into the Cradle. Thank God. I think I might cry some more out of relief, but he was conscious for a few minutes earlier and he’s stable now.

It’s really late at night but they extended privileges to me to stay with him so I’m just sitting here, writing. Listening to the Cradle do its thing and the monitors do theirs.

When he was conscious, I was with him. He said some stuff under his breath but the one thing I could make out was “I’m an idiot.”

Granted, he’s right. It was supposed to be Steve or Tony on that mission. You know, people with more defense op experience, but he had to go out and volunteer himself.

I feel sort of guilty.

It’s partially my fault, isn’t it?

I think I’ll try to tuck in for tonight. I wanna be awake when he wakes up, too.

.

July 14/21

Dear Jane,

James woke up today. He’s still in the Cradle (lots of internal damage spread throughout the body) but he’s conscious. He saw me and immediately tried to sit up which was sweet, but when he couldn’t, he just told me to come closer and then told me that he loved me.

I called him an idiot for running away. I told him he really scared me. I told him that I loved him so fucking much. I told him that I feel so guilty and he just held my face and said that it will never be my fault.

He’s so fucking romantic, even when he’s lying down with a wound being stitched closed live in front of my eyes.

Oh, and he kissed me. I don’t think I noticed how much I actually missed him until that moment.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling in my chest. It’s a mixture between super happy and super scared and super, super warm inside. Summer might be looking up.

.

July 18/21

Dear Jane,

We got home today. James is staying in my room. The team doesn’t say anything about it. We’re best friends, after all, but I think they’ve known for a long time that there’s something more. Some of them are just too polite to say so.

I won’t have much time to write over the next couple of days. James has to be kept on a strict, extremely healthy diet and medicine regime.

I don’t care. I’m just glad he’s home.

He’s kissing me a lot more, now. Alpine likes the fact that his two humans are now in the same room. He purrs so loudly, I can hear him from where he’s dozing, curled up underneath James’ chin. He (James) is resting after his second round of antibiotics for the day while I work from my room, and sometimes I catch myself looking back just to make sure he’s okay.

I’m going to go kiss him now.

Be right back.

.

July 21/21

Dear Jane,

It’s almost Nat’s birthday (the 26th). Super exciting. James is back on solids and I’m helping him around with walking. Even with the Cradle and the healing factor, he’s still super banged up, so it’s better safe than sorry.

We had a really long talk about love and stuff. It’s good to finally have it out in the open. It was mostly me talking about my side of things and he just nodded a lot. I know he was listening though.

We also kissed a lot, like seventeen year old couples who are heavy on the PDA, but within the privacy of my room. I dunno. I like the heat of his arms and the way he kisses the shell of my ear when he’s bored or it’s a commercial break.

It feels very natural.

I am very much in love with him.

I tell him that and he always looks skeptical, but whatever. He doesn’t have to say it back (I tell him that there’s no pressure) and he’ll get it through his thick skull eventually that he’s now stuck with me.

.

July 25/21

Dear Jane,

We made cookies in the early AM as tradition for the party tomorrow and I told him that I love him (again, but this time he didn’t run, nor has he the past few times. Fantastic).

While the cookies were baking, he explained everything on his side of the story: how he was scared to be vulnerable, how opening up to me is just different and new and scary and I get it. I really do. I know how it feels to think you don’t deserve good things and sabotage feels like the only way to save everyone from hurt.

He smiled a lot more after that. I guess he’s just glad I get it.

One day, I’ll successfully convince James that he deserves everything good this world has to offer.

Until then, I’ll just keep trying.

P.S. He said, with less hesitation than the first time, that he loves me, too. Best. Day. Ever.

P.P.S. The cookies are so good and I want to devour them all. I could barely stop James from eating all of them. Again: Best. Day. Ever.

.

July 26/21

Dear Jane,

In summary of today:

Happy birthday, Natasha.

James has been given the clear bill of health which is exciting. Also, I asked him about the Jane and gift of God thing.

He knew. “Intuition” and all that. He also said I looked “like a royal dame” in my swimsuit. Smug idiot just trying to be charming.

I love him and that’s the only reason it works.

Back to the festivities.

.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

Good morning to you and to James who’s still in my bed at a ripe 6:23AM, fast asleep.

Progress. Now, back to sleep.

.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

It’s now 9:49AM and James greeted me with orange juice and waffles. He said I was cute when I slept. Creep.

He also said he tried so many times to stay in my bed after, before we were like we are now, but he never could, and now he’s upset that he missed out on my cute sleeping/waking up for the day face every time he did so.

He is exceptionally cute when he’s pouting.

I think we’re officially boyfriend-girlfriend, but we’ll work out the semantics on that later. For now, it’s another summer day together. He suggested Chinese takeout for dinner because I have to go dip back into the lab later today to check on some samples.

I agreed and he kissed me in promise like it was our “thing.” I can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

Massive progress.

.

July 28/21

Dear Jane,

He told me I was the only one for him.

Also, he kissed me in front of our friends for the first time. Natasha yelled “FINALLY” and pushed us into the pool. Sam laughed and then I grabbed him and threw him into the pool. Ensuing: a water fight for the ages.

For a day: 10/10

.

July 31/21

Hey Jane,

I think I’m happy.

I’m sorry I ever doubted the effects of writing down my feelings.

James has a romantic trip to uptown planned for our first date and he said it’ll take the whole day so I thought I’d get this entry in the morning. I dunno. It’s really early and the happy thought was the first thing that came to my head.

Weird, but it’s a good weird.

See you in a bit.

[chefrat]

another weasley

pairings: fred weasley x reader

type: fluff 

word-count: 2.7k

warnings: some cursing 

 A/N: nothing just thought I'd hop on this and try it out I guess :o

No one had a clue of what was going on, or more like, no one was paying attention. Except Molly Weasley. She watched your every move, so much happiness filling her up that she could cry. Fred didn’t even know either, neither did you! But to Molly, it was pretty obvious. She has gone through it quite a lot, six times to be exact, and was able to recognize every single sign. You were pregnant! Molly was able to notice the change in your sleeping habits, the random waves of nausea, the extra snacking, the more you’d get mad at Fred whenever him and George were up to no good. It stressed Molly out seeing how immature the two still were but she knew she couldn’t go bursting your guys bubble. She preferred you find out on your own, wanting to see Fred’s reaction from afar but it has been a month and a half and still no one has taken action. Molly got to brainstorming, trying to find ways to make it obvious towards you. Maybe she could ask you if you missed your period? No, that would make it too obvious that she knew. She grew annoyed that not one of you could put it together. 

“Hey, love.” Fred said, giving you a peck on the lips. He had just come back from a walk with his brothers, taking a breather out in the fresh April air. You giggled, feeling his nose poke your cheek when he pulled away. He smiled down at you, happy to have you tagging along to his childhood home. Molly couldn’t help but watch and gush from afar. ‘Oh! I’m going to be a grandmother!’ She thought to herself happily. George greeted you with a hug, treating you like the sister you were to him. Molly was blinded by her own happiness that she didn’t notice when George and Fred disappeared and reappeared behind her, scared out of her mind, she threw her hands up, while she screamed. They both laughed, moving away from their mother quickly. 

“George! Fred!” She screeched loudly, making the twins laugh louder. You couldn’t help but let out a giggle. Ginny came out to see what all the fuss was about, surprise in her eyes. Once she saw what was the commotion about, she left a laugh out. It was days like these that you enjoyed, being close to your boyfriend and his family. You rarely were ever near your own family, conflict and fighting all the time so the Weasley’s were like your actual home. Your true family. While Molly went off to chase the twins, Ginny walked closer to you, shy for what she was about to ask. 

“Hey, um, do you by any chance have an extra pad with you? I haven’t been able to go get some myself.” Ginny whispered to you gently which caused panic to rise inside of you. “Shit.” You gasped, trying to remember when was the last time you had your period. The ginger raised an eyebrow, unaware of what was going on. Worried written well all over her pale and small face. “Is something wrong? It’s okay if you don’t have any on you.” You shook your head in protest. No, it wasn’t that. It was something bigger than that. “I’m late.” A blush took over your face as Ginny clapped her hands together, covering her mouth while she let a gasp slip out. The huge grin on Ginny only made you blush harder but she soon dropped the act when she heard her twin brothers getting closer. 

“Let’s go to the shop, we’ll be able to find the things we need there.” She offered and you nodded, glad to have her by your side during such a shocking moment. 

-

After visiting the shop and buying all the items that were needed, you both eagerly crowded the Weasley bathroom. She had asked to stay with you, trying her best to comfort you. After agreeing, she turned around, giving you your privacy while you peed on the pregnancy test. You awkwardly put the test between your legs, new to the feeling of having to take one. “This is awkward, Ginny.” Blushing, you let out a stream, peeing directly on it while you looked toward the brittle ceiling. She only giggled, snickering to herself in the corner. “These are the consequences you have to face for sleeping with my brother.” You let out a laugh, closing the tip of the freshly used test and placing it carefully on the counter. “You can turn around now.” The remaining pee flushed down the toilet and Ginny glanced down at her wrist watch, waiting for the five minutes to pass. 

“Soo, you and my brother, eh?” Rolling your eyes, you groaned. Laying your head on her sharp shoulder. Ginny wrapped her arms around you, patting your hair down and trying her best to soothe you. The younger girl secretly wished for it to be positive, ever since Fred had started dating you while you both were in Hogwarts and ever since the first time he brought you home, Ginny had instantly taken a liking towards you, just like how everyone in the Weasley family has. Now it's been, what? Three? Four years? It was bound to happen some day, planned or unplanned. 

“Yea,” Sighing, you pulled away, pouting. “I swear, it was only that ONE time we did it without protection. It really does take one time.” Ginny giggled again. “He is a Weasley, you know what they say about us. Breeding like crazy.” You giggled with her, remembering how everyone in Hogwarts had teased them, asking if there was another Weasley waiting at home to attend Hogwarts. “Merlin, what am I going to tell your mom?” 

“Hey, we still haven’t gotten a chance to see what the test says. It could all just be a false alarm.” She looked at her watch again, the five minutes gone. Both girls looked at each other, scared. “Go look.” You blurted out. “No, you look.” Ginny said back, failing to comfort you as her own palms grew sweaty from the anxiety. With eyebrows furrowed and trembling hands, you turned around, taking a small step forward to the counter. With a slow shaky hand, you grabbed the test and brought it close enough to read. Positive. 

“So?” Ginny asked, biting her nails. It felt as if the air had been suffocating you, your own throat tightening and not being able to muster up even a small yes. So you nodded making Ginny smile and hug you from the back. Of course you were happy! Just shocked, afraid of what Fred would say. Afraid of what Molly would say! If only you knew that she had already figured it out on her own and already so so happy that you were pregnant with her grandchild. “How are we going to tell t-them?” You turned around, hot tears streaming down your face. Ginny immediately wrapped her arms around you again, she hated seeing you upset. “Please don’t cry. I can guarantee you that they’re all going to be ecstatic by the news!” She cheered while you sobbed. 

“Come on, let’s wash your face with cold water. We can talk more about it in my room, I want you lay down and stay off your feet for now.” You agreed, turning around and turning the sink on, letting the water run. After being able to calm down, Ginny grabbed you and the test. She took your hand and guided you toward her neat and tidy comfort zone that was her room. Fred was working long hours today at the Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes so both of you had the house for yourselves, Molly being away on a small date with Arthur. You were happy at how far they had come, seeing them grow from selling at school to owning their own shop and expressing themselves with their inventions. A child was definitely not in Fred’s plans and you knew that. His five year plan was to grow his family business and focus on his career with his twin and your were on board with it. But still, how would he react to having a bump interrupt his plans? Literally. 

“What do you think?” You asked, sniffling. The ginger smiled, looking into your eyes lovingly and taking the seat next to you on her bed. “I think it's wonderful and I’m happy to become an aunt. But, remember that it’s all your choice. I don’t want you to feel forced to carryout a surprise pregnancy, nothing was planned and I cannot relate to how scared you might be feeling right now but I am anxious for you. And I will stand with you with whichever decision you take.” Ginny said, leaning into your shoulder. Hands intertwined and both taking shaky sighs. Millions of thoughts ran through your head, most of them were about Fred and how he would react. You thought of the pros and cons, mentally forming a list in your head. “I think it's wonderful too, Ginny.” She smiled, giving your hand a squeeze. “But I want to talk about it with Fred too, I don’t want to force him into anything. It’s a group decision and I can’t decide for him, that’d be unfair. Especially now that his business is doing good, a baby would just add more stress.” 

It was great to have Ginny by your side. She was the biggest support system you had right now, something that made you emotional. You weren’t sure if it was the change in hormones that made your more emotional or because Ginny’s help was really moving but you couldn’t help but just cry. And she let you, welcoming you with open arms, not caring if her shirt got all soaked with salty tears and snot. You are family to her and she admired you for being so involved and caring. 

Hours passed and you were asleep on Ginny’s bed while she was down in the kitchen, trying to fix you up something nutritional for when you woke up. She scavenged around the cupboards, trying to find the book of recipes Molly kept when she was pregnant to prepare just the right meals with a dash of magic. ‘Found it.’ She thought to herself once she saw it at the top, collecting dust. Casting a quick spell to bring it down, not trying to do all the work of standing on the counter. Her wand called for the remaining ingredients, all being laid out in front of her as she flipped through the book. Ginny was absolutely positive that Fred would want to keep it, she knew her brother and she knew that there wasn’t anything else that he wanted but you. In his life, in his future, in everything. 

She walked up the stairs holding the warm bowl of lentils that had a various amount of veggies, and on the other hand, an organic yogurt with a crushed up recipe scrambled in with oats. You were still sound asleep but with Ginny’s gentle hand rubbing your shoulder, you rose up, thanking her for the meal and the support. Feeling awkward that you were the only one eating, she rushed down the stairs to prep herself a meal to join you. You both sat next to each other, enjoying your meals and having small chatter between you both. “Imagine the little clothes.” Ginny gushed while you smiled. You like the thought of that. “The hands!” 

-

Everyone was home now, Fred and George barely got home and they were tired from being on their feet all day. They simultaneously took off their blazers, sat down, rubbed their head and sighed. You popped out of the hallway, giving a reason for Fred to get up excitedly off the couch with a smile on his face, making his way to you. “Baby.” He said making you choke on your own spit. Fred rose an eyebrow at it but didn’t question. Instead, he quickly pecked your forehead, then your nose, and finally, lowering down to your lips. “Can we talk real quick? Something came up today.” You mumbled against his chest as he smothered you with hugs and kisses. His body tensed at the words that fell out of your mouth but he nodded, slightly worried that there was something wrong. You guided him towards a room that wasn’t occupied by his family.

“Is everything alright, love?” The concern that was visible in his face and in his voice was enough to make anyone tear up and that’s exactly what you did. Fred got even more concerned when he saw the tears forming in your eyes. “Are you okay? Is something wrong? Have you come down with something? Are your parents bothering you again?” He bombed you with questions and all you could do was shake your head no. 

“Listen, F-freddie.” You started, sniffling and trying your best to put yourself together in front of the love of your life. “I’m pregnant, I swear to you I just found out today.” Silence. The only response you did not want. It hurt every second knowing that he wasn’t letting out even a breath of air. Too afraid to make eye contact with him, you stared down at his hands that held yours lovingly. “I know it wasn’t in your plans, I’m willing to forget about it so we can continue living like we were yesterday. But, just please say something.” Finding the courage somehow, you looked up seeing that the reason why he was so quiet was because he was biting his lip, tears falling from the corner of his eyes. 

The laugh you love so much filled the room as he pulled his hands away from you to rub the tears away from his eyes. “Forget it? This is amazing, we’re going to be a family!” Fred cheered a little to loudly, Molly appeared quickly in the room. Just by hearing the word ‘family’ made her heart skip a beat, excited that it was finally happening. Your heart dropped when she came into your view but a huge smile was dominating her. “About time you found out! I noticed just a month ago!” Fred turned to look at his mother. “I’m going to be a dad!” He yelled excitedly. Quickly, the room started filling up with all type of Weasley’s. First Ginny, a huge smile on her face. Then, Ron, confused of the random shouting, a piece of bread stuffed into his cheek. Then George, both eyebrows raised, excited for his brother. Percy in his suit stood next to Ron, confused as well as the yelling was muffled from where he was in the house. “We’re pregnant.” Fred said proudly, pulling you into him while planting a huge kiss on your cheek. His nose poking you which always made you giggle. 

But, he was quickly to let go of you to hug George. “A Weasley!” They shouted, hugging each other and patting each others backs roughly. Molly scoffed at how Fred quickly changed his attention from you to George. She walked up to you and cupped your face. “I am so happy for you.” You teared up a little at the motherly love and acceptance. Her arms wrapped around you tightly, as if she was afraid to let you go. “I love you.” The tears of happiness couldn’t help but leak from your already tired eyes. You’ve spent the whole day crying but now they were tears of relief, tears of happiness and of excitement. The night was spent by celebrating the news, Arthur was the last one to hear it since he was off on a quick errand but he was filled with excitement knowing that they’ll be a new addition to the Weasley family. “Another one!” He cheered, Fred and George joining in.

This was a new chapter for both of you, of course you had a huge support system but you still were scared shitless of what parenthood had to offer. It was only the beginning, you weren’t even showing but soon that would turn into a small bump, to a bigger one. Then, to carrying them in your arms and raising them. A little you or a little Fred or possibly both. 

(not edited)

[mydisasteracademia]

Random Shigaraki Headcanons

This boi. This grubby boi. I love him so much but at the same time he would probably literally dust me so... (oof this one kinda dragged on and on... lol)

Literally has no idea about real-life relationship dynamics outside of what he’s observed in his own parents, in Sensei, and in Kurogiri. All he thinks in the beginning is that people who claim to love you will stand by and let you be hurt, that villains took care of him better than any damn hero, and that he can only truly rely on himself. (And Sensei.)

It takes a loooooooong time of interacting with other people to break himself out of this mindset, and even then, sometimes it comes creeping back if bad things happen.

Getting into canon territory with this one, but really, really, reeeeeeeeally hates heroes because they didn’t even bother to help him when he was going through a whole mental breakdown. Literally one of the only reasons he hates them so much. I know this is pretty much canon, but I doubt he would ever grasp Stain’s ideology of ‘maybe some are good’ because in his eyes, not even the underground pro heroes even bothered to see if he was okay. Remember the scene from the manga with the old lady when he was a child? Yeah. There were bound to be heroes he bumped into, even off-duty ones, and nobody even gave him another glance.

Has extremely bad abandonment issues. If he likes you, he’s gonna want to keep you because he didn’t really have anything nice to call his own while growing up, and Sensei kept him fairly isolated so he literally tolerates nobody else other than him and Kurogiri at first. Reacts horribly when his friends want to break off the friendship. Goes through a whole depressive episode for a while, his old insecurities pop back up, and he really thinks he’s worse than trash and not worth anyone’s time or attention for a while. Prime time for Sensei to further twist his mind.

On that same note, if you’re dating, for the love of everything still good in this world do not break his heart. He will never forgive you. Literally will go to the grave before he forgives you for doing what you did (whether it be cheating on him or completely dropping him like a hot potato). Although this might also extend to little issues that make him feel like you don’t love him enough, he’ll forgive you if you show him plenty of attention and apologize for whatever he was upset over. If you cannot remain patient through his toxic mindsets, it’s best not to get into a relationship in the first place with him if you want to still remain friends afterward, because breaking it off means instant heartbreak.

Anyway! Back to happier, funnier hcs!!

The whole embodiment of the “Wears black in summer because I look good and am willing to suffer” vine. Will not give up his comfy black shirt and sweats for anything because yes, he does look good in black, and yes, he is willing to suffer. He’ll switch to a v-neck tee though. Even he’s not that masochistic.

Really prone to dry skin. I know that’s canon, but just... this poor man can’t keep moisturized to save his own life. Constantly has to apply a special moisturizer that’s specifically made for ultra-sensitive skin and has no scents whatsoever.

Will gripe about having to spend so much money on ointment and moisturizer for both him and Dabi. It’s one of the very few things they bond over, other than having a shitty father and pushover family... and their hatred of All Might.

Shigaraki 100% would be Dabi’s alibi if he actually managed to kill Endeavor. When it comes to the shitty dad club, he’s a fuckin’ ride-or-die.

Kinda sensitive over the fact that both he and Midoriya have the same sort of red shoes, but he loves his pair too much to throw them out. Purposefully aims for Midoriya’s shoes every single time they meet each other on the off chance that they get ruined enough for him to get different shoes, unknowing that he literally can’t just... get differently-colored shoes due to him being originally Quirkless (yes, The Shoes™ theory strikes again)

Literally never forgets a single thing about people he cares about. He’s the type of person who will remember every single thing you tell him about yourself, and especially birthdays. While he doesn’t exactly show his affection very loudly, he would be the type of person who tell you “happy birthday” on the day of as soon as he first sees you, and would treat you a little nicer all day that day.

This boy just has the biggest, scarred heart for his ‘good crowd’. I cannot stress enough just how much like Midoriya he could’ve turned out if he hadn’t been abandoned by society. This mf would give the green bean a run for his motherfuckin money.

“I really just hate the world and everything in it... except for you, maybe I could make an exception for you because you’re nice to me and I appreciate your company too much”

Even though I hc quite a few League members to be like cats when it comes to affection, Shigaraki’s spirit animal is a cat. Likes to lounge about in off-moments, slow to affection and very quick to remember exactly how people treat him, yet if he likes you he shows affection quietly enough that it’s not obvious at first. Like “oh, you’re in the same room as me. It’s not like I missed you or anything, me sitting right next to you at the bar when it’s totally empty means nothing. The fact that I’m looking right at you when you’re talking doesn’t mean I like you.”

LOVES HUGS. If you hug him and he likes you, you’ve probably made his whole day. Depending on how things are going, probably his whole fucking week. Just please hug him, he needs positive affection so bad

Major tsun-tsun. The most tsun-tsun. Grumpy until you get to know him, and if he likes you he’ll show you in little ways: listening to your ideas more, letting you stay closer for longer, maybe getting you something like food.

AFRAID OF TOUCH. I REPEAT, AFRAID OF TOUCH. Not from anyone he likes, of course; this baby is so touch-starved that he deserves a thousand hugs. But if he likes you, he will not initiate physical affection because he’s so afraid of accidentally dusting you. The memories of his family dying (except for his father, because #FuckKotaro2k21) haunt him almost every time he dreams (and if that doesn’t, then other traumatizing events certainly do), and he absolutely would not forgive himself if he dusted his favorite League member/civilian.

Definitely likens the rest of the League to his MVPs after a while of knowing them. Knowing how he operates, it’s adorable.

Would begrudgingly let Toga play around with his hair. I can just see him sitting blank-faced, staring at the mirror as she talks about whatever while brushing and braiding it into a cute plait. He would be hesitant to undo her hard work afterward, no matter how much he grouches that it “ruins his boss vibe”.

The kind of person to go to McDonalds at 3 AM just because he was craving chicken nuggets and ranch. Yes, ranch. He’s an old-school mf who don’t got no time for no barbecue.

Gets really irritated over Toga mooning over Uraraka and Midoriya, but doesn’t stop her from talking about how much she wants to ‘be’ them. (Encourages homicide. Advises homicide. Spinner has to stop her from actually getting ready to commit homicide.)

Disgruntled™

G L O A T S about the time he took away Overhaul’s chance to use his Quirk. “Yeah, we would’ve been satisfied with Compress taking his left arm away to be petty, but then Overhaul had to be a sentient piece of dick cheese, and well, y’know I couldn’t let him get away with that”

It’s becoming a problem. The others have learnt to tune him out once he gets going. Compress just smiles under the mask when he remembers it. Nobody knows what he’s really thinking.

His damn crowning moment. His apex point. There’s no going further beyond that (until he finally defeats Midoriya and takes over Japan as the world’s most feared villain of all time).

“Shigaraki, I’mma let you finish, but AFO still holds the record for being the most infamous villain of all time! Of all time!” <-- let the boy dream okay, he’s been waiting for this moment his whole damn life

Can you tell that I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass? Because I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass

Chronic emo phase. Hears the G note and just sighs heavily

Has probably seen hentai. Doesn’t really get the appeal of high-pitched feminine screams. Probably more of a tiddy man than an ass man. Just... boobie

His first fictional crush was Aeris/Aerith. Legitimately lost his shit when she died.

Man Crush Monday is Sephiroth all the way. Especially his one-winged angel form. Wanted to cosplay him for Halloween but didn’t because the cosplay was too costly.

Will make “That’s what she said” jokes in the most deadpan voice. At least Mustard kinda snickers at them.

Probably would’ve been pretty patient with Eri. Her traumatic past certainly would’ve pitted her as a kindred spirit with him, and he would think her Quirk would be a powerful asset if used right. Probably would’ve practiced it by destroying something and then telling her to rewind it so that he can break it again.

Shigaraki, holding Eri by her armpits: “I’ve only had her for ten minutes but if anything happened to her I’d dust everyone in the room to make her feel better”

The rest of the League: “???????? Okay?????”

Legitimately holds a powerful grudge against parents who abuse or neglect their children, especially against abusive fathers. Almost as powerful as his hatred for All Might. Will actively go after someone he sees is abusive to their children and will not let them live.

Would probably adopt an orphan after killing their abusive parents. “Oh, that was your dad/mom/parent? Well guess you’re mine now. Let’s go get chicken nuggets, kid”

Might somehow rope Dabi into going abusive-parent-hunting with him during a raid. Takes great pleasure in seeing the guilty party’s horrified, pained look on their face as they slowly dissolve into a pile of ash.

[peachykindalovesyou]

L'erreur Du Fou

Rook Hunt x assassin! fem! reader

Word count:: 2k+

Warnings:: gore, character death, blood mentions, weapon/knife mentions

Author’s note:: god damn am i proud of this

---

     I was the fool who had made the mistake. I was the madman who had thought I could do this. It was an assignment from my boss, I couldn’t decline. Just one more wipeout, and I am in his favor. I was his greatest, one of the best. I honored him; I was a mascot to our team.

     He always said he would leave the best for last, but my victim, my prey, he was one unlike the others. Fast, diligent, flexible, astounding, he was the ideal target for pride. I was all of those things as well, yes, but the way he portrays his ability is simply magnificent. Fast yet delicate strides, quiet graceful gazes, however he did it, I must know as well.

     This was the night I would strike him. Tonight, I will have the power others have dreamed of, I could have the power no one else could have; Something of unimaginable potential. With those abilities, I will be different from the rest, superior, even. This is all I’ve ever wanted and craved, to be the favored by my peers. 

     The corridor was dark, moonlight shown through the glass stained with the seven sins. Chandeliers with stunning crystals decorated the ceiling. The floor was marbled and etched with strokes of grey and blue, with every step I took, it echoed in a symphonic way. The light sound of ballroom music could be heard faintly. 

     Even if this is the night I charge, I still had my doubts. I blocked them out as well as I could, hiding them away in the deepest depths of my thoughts. Everything I seemed to do never worked, it always shot me like a bullet. I must do it; I need to get this job finished. But my heart, my heart desires him. ‘The heart wants what it wants’ is what they always told me; they were all right.

     For my victim, my target, my prey, he drew me in, just as some simple prey like him should. I felt as if he could see right through me, he isn’t supposed to. ‘The Hunter Of Love’ he proclaimed himself, for it seems he was right as well. All of his romantic gestures and enchanting features had me head deep in passion.

     He should be attending the ball soon; I have come here to this corridor to ready myself for what’s to come. Just beyond this hallway, is an astonishing, breathtaking event. The walls and floors painted in gold. The décor was  miraculous, it all seemed unrealistic. The food and beverages prepared for the ball were so aesthetically placed, you wouldn’t dare to take a bite.

     The people who attended were only invited of the utmost honor of the headmaster of Night Raven College, the most prestige and powerful academy of this world. Only the most phenomenal wizards and magicians were ever enrolled. All regions from all over Twisted Wonderland were welcomed to this event; That would mean, The Rose Kingdom, The Coral Sea, The Land Of Pyroxene, Jubilee Port, The Land Of Hot Sands, Afterglow Savanna, Valley Of Thorns, Village Of Harvest, and The Isle Of Lamentation.

    I continued walking, keeping an eye out for the hunter. The music only got louder and louder the further I walked, as expected. Sound of piano and violin could be heard through the door, it was so beautiful. My long dress cascaded down my hips, long black cloth drug across the shiny and clean marbled floor, the sleeves and sheer outer coat were scattered with silver sequins and small diamond studs.

    As the giant door had finally opened, I saw a large amount of people gathered together in the ballroom. I held the invitation in my hands; readying myself for what’s to come. The ghost guards stood in front of the entrance, ordering me to hand in my invitation. I nodded, placing the black and gold envelope in their gas like hands. Stepping in, I had finally spotted him. There he stood, black suit, shiny blonde hair, piercing green eyes, to top it off; his smile was like none of the others, it stood out in the crowd of magicians.

    He glanced in my direction, waving goodbye to the other guests, and walking towards me. I kept my composer, standing straight and giving him a thick silence. “Good evening, Mademoiselle (Y/n). Are you enjoying yourself?” He bowed down, taking my hand, and pressing a soft kiss to my knuckles. “I cannot say, for I’ve just arrived.” He gave me a wider smile, standing upright and tilting his head to the side. “That’s a shame, Ma Cherie. Well, the dance is starting soon, would you like to join me?” He held out his gloved hand, waiting for my response. “I would be honored, Monsieur Hunt.” With that, he led me to the middle of the ballroom where the main event began. I waited; it would take me a while to get him where I need him.

    “Ma Cherie, is there a specific reason you’ve decided to join us today? Of course, other than the fact that all students and instructors were invited.” His breath fanned my neck and we swayed in sync. “No, I just thought I’d enjoy myself for once. I’ve been very stressed lately, work outside of school is difficult catching up with.”

    He slid his hand down my waist, pulling me in closer; Just as he always does. “What kind of work do you do? I’m curious. Writing? Photography? Modeling? Mayhap, hunting-“ He’s onto me. “-For a new one already?” Or not. I chuckled at him, trying to brush off his last comment. “No no, I’d rather keep my private like private, thank you very much.” My feet moved with his, swirling around the ballroom in smooth circles. “And why is that? Are you afraid of me catching you red handed?” My brain froze, avoiding his questions smoothly. “Well, Mr. Hunt, I like to keep my life private for the same reason we close doors when using the restroom.”

    “My, Ma Cherie, what a brave soul you are for speaking such a thing out loud; What have you to hide?” He laughed at my last comment, but I am not a comedian for say. “Well, for starters, I have been keeping quiet about how charming you look this evening.” My boss always said the key to conversating with a hunter is bravery, keep them on their toes. “Oh mon! Thank you Ma Lapin, how very kind of you~” His voice enticed me even further, it was smooth, deep.

    “Oh? Ma Cherie, you seem to have lost track.” He tapped my shoulder and I snapped out of my daze; I was far too deep in his spell. His masculine features and charming touches were absolutely captivating. The way he drew me in was no laughing matter, his praises had me above the clouds, and his smile; his smile is what had me shamelessly spellbinded to him. The moment he had flashed me that heavenly grin is when I knew he would be the end of my career; he would be the end of me.

    “Ma Cherie, if you could, I would like to have a talk with you.” He spoke in a serious tone, and I couldn’t help but follow along. “Of course, is there anything specific you would like to discuss?” I followed along side him down the corridor. “Yes. You seem to be a bit out of it lately, is something on your mind?” Did he know? “No, it seems I’m just a little charmed by you tonight.” Would praise get me out of this? “Mademoiselle (Y/n), I am by far endured by your praise, but please, do not avoid the question. I am a hunter, studying someone is what I do best. I know there is something picking at you.”

    We stood in front of the stained glass, the blue moonlight hitting his angelic features so perfectly. The tinted glass was painted with something, the sin of lust and love. ‘Eros’ as some would call it, ‘Aphrodite’ the people said, ‘Asmodeus’ is lesser known. But to me, the sin, the décor, it’s all nothing but a joke. A sick and twisted joke to get everyone to believe that what they do matters, but we all die in the end. There is no use in doing what you love, there is no use finding love, there is no use following the belief that love is real.

    “Well, nothing in particular has been itching at me. I guess I am just a bit…distracted tonight.” Tonight…tonight…TONIGHT! He drew me in too far, I was supposed to be the one drawing him in. I fell for his charm, I fell for his dirty tricks, I fell for…him. Because of him, I will fail my mission. My pride, my honor, it will all be torn down to pieces once my boss sees me in the hands of ‘The Hunter Of Love’. I stayed quiet, waiting for an answer from him, but it never seemed to come.

    “…Rook Hunt, The Hunter Of Love, a beauty of the Pomefiore dorm, the assistant of Vil Schoenheit himself, it seems I have…” I ran away from my statement, this isn’t supposed to be happening, this cannot be true. “…Fallen for me?” He finished my sentence and I hold back a cry. I stayed quiet, but I have yet to leave myself vulnerable in front of him. “Well?” He took a step forward, tilting my head up with his thumb and pointer finger.

    Normally people would try to deny their love for someone. “Yes, I have fallen for you. But for that, I despise you as well. You’ve ruined me, you’ve stolen my pride, I’m only a toy for someone to play around with. But as the adults have always said ‘Put your toys away when you’re done with them.’ And it seems you’ve forgotten to.

    His eyes widened; a look of shock painted over his face. “Ma Cherie, you could not really mean that, could you? Falling for me? Hating me?” He seemed heartbroken. Had I got through him? It’s hard to tell, he’s never like this. “I-…” I paused my answer, letting my tears glide down my rosy cheeks. He let out a gasp, now was my chance. I quickly turn us around, stepping forward until he was backed up against the wall. “Rook Hunt, you are the only thing holding me back from what I truly want, I’m sorry for thi-”

    I didn’t get a chance to finished before he turned the tables, he had his hand to my throat and a hunting knife to my neck. “Ma Cherie, if you are really planning on assassinating me for power, that is truly a shame. I understand how you feel, killing someone you love is the hardest part of that life.” He pressed the knife into my neck with more pressure, small droplets of blood painted my skin. “I- R-Rook, P-pleas-e-“ I put my hand on his wrist, only for him to more pressure.

    “Mademoiselle (Y/n), it is time for your career to end. You’ve wanted this for the longest time, right? But I won’t let you go without a proper goodbye.” The weapon fully slid through my throat, choking on the crimson liquid, and coughing it up, Rook pressed his lips to mine. He held me with such passion, as I slowly lost breath in his arms. He pulled away, blood staining his lips and clothing. “Ma Cherie, I love you.”

    I reached my hand out to him, but it was too late. The knife had been slit through my throat, and I shut my eyes for good. His words echoed in my head as I the last glance I got of him was him pressing his lips to my dying body, a tragedy, Night Raven College’s best assassin, defeated by Rook Hunt.

[thatfunkyopossum]

whys it a worthless video essay? genuinely curious on your thoughts :0

The racism mostly!

Disclaimer: i’m white, and not meaning to speak for any person of color! My opinions on this are formed based on what i noticed in combination with what i know about racism, and I believe that in this case i’m right about what i’ve observed. That said, my observations are open to criticism from any black people who might be reading this and feel like weighing in, as my only personal experiences in bigotry are with my identity as a queer person. In short: i’m not an expert, but i do have eyes and what they see is repulsive. Anyway this will be rambly.

First and foremost, The Tragedy of Droids by @popculturedetective’s editing directly connects the Droids in Star Wars with the atrocities of chattel slavery in the americas, and the perceived connection is at times hinted at in the script.

@4:10 into the video “...they’re also bought and sold like cattle” is a quote i caught when trying to find the following time stamps, because the editing is the real beast here.

There’s also @ 4:35 “you can probably guess where i’m going with this, because the social arrangement i’ve just described is one of property and owner. And a property relationship between two intelligent beings that gives one absolute power over the other is called slavery.”

In this video essay, there are multiple times when the visuals cut between Roots and the droids of Star Wars. This is important because Roots is a mini series based off the family history of the black man who wrote the book, Alex Haley, and the scenes being directly juxtaposed with Star Wars droids are the scenes from it where black people are on slave ships or being sold at auction. TToD essay, which was at the very least presented by a white man, wants the viewer to connect robots and black people for the sake of the essay’s argument. TToD essay wants the connection between real black human beings who actually lived and suffered and died in the real damn world to, i cannot stress this enough, machines.

To anyone who is reading this and not seeing why thats fucked up, because they view the droids as people, here’s the problem. Droids aren’t people. No matter how you slice it, no matter how much you love them, theres actually no way for us to be sure that 99% of droids are sentient beings, that are self aware, and that feel things. Droids in the Star Wars universe are constructed to be tools that talk to you and have fun personalities. Some droids might be self aware and sentient, but the likelihood is that the vast majority aren’t due to being what they are. Tools. This is in stark contrast to black people, because black people are, uh, people!!

At 4:00 into the video essay, we start to see the cuts between Roots and Star Wars. Pop Culture Detective cuts between C-3PO/R2-D2 being sold to Luke’s family and a black woman being put in front of a crowd of white people to be auctioned off. This same sequence of cuts is used again later in the video essay.

At 28:20 into the video, a clip from Star Trek: The Next Generation is used wherein Guinan (played by Whoopi Goldberg, a black woman) is talking about slaves and slavery, how there have been disposable people in history. This clip on its own is so, so good. It aired in 1989, and I have no idea what the political climate was like for black people then (im not as well versed in history as i would like) but i can guess it probably wasn’t good!

“...They do the dirty work. They do the work that no one else wants to do because its too difficult or too hazardous. You don’t have to think about their welfare. You don’t think about how they feel. Whole generations of disposable people.”

And then Pop Culture Detective uses this (to me) powerful line about atrocities done to human beings... and cuts to R2-D2 serving drinks to Jabba’s crew. PCD says some bullshit about how star wars is using the droids as an allegory for slavery but has nothing to say with the metaphor, and then it cuts back to Guinan to finish her speech. Might i say: what the fuck. What the fuck.

I can’t find it right now, but i distinctly remember there is also a bit where the visuals cut straight from a black man’s face to the face of an astromech.

And the cherry on top is that the clones are in this video... and never mentioned. Okay actually i’m going to talk about this video’s treatment of the clones and how utterly fucked up it is because i was so caught up in the “this essay wants you to think of the horrors of chattel slavery done to black people as being even remotely comparable to the existence of R2-D2” that i forgot to talk about the clones.

Okay so this video does not mention the clones at all. It uses clips from the clone wars and clips from the prequels movies with clones in them, but the clones aren’t even so much as talked about in passing. The closest we get is this brushing off of the issue in general @29:50:

“Remember, this is a universe where humanoid slavery exists as well, but its presented as unambiguously negative, though not exactly something the heroes are in a rush to abolish.”

Which is said about Anakin and his mother. And its not like they forgot about the clone wars and to talk about it at all! No, they had this to say on it @15:10. See if you notice anything.

“...But what about Battle droids?... Well, the separatist droid army in the prequels seems specifically designed as little more than canon fodder. Making the bad guys unfeeling robots avoids the messy moral complications and mass casualties that would result from an interstellar war. If battle droids aren’t alive then the audience doesn’t have to care when thousands of them are killed in extended battlefield scenes. Indeed we’re encouraged to think of these types of droids as mere objects and to cheer at their dismemberment.”

Drink it in y’all, i’m still absorbing it. I’ll note that sections of this were played over clips from the first battle of geonosis, and there were clones on screen. So, PCD completely sidesteps the issue of the clones, seemingly unaware of the actual explicit enslavement of brown men who are unquestionably living thinking feeling people, in favor of projecting humanity onto every single droid including the infamously poorly programed B1 Battle droids.

I don’t know what else I can say on that besides the fact that some obscure ass clips from the clone wars are used to humanize the robots, implying that PCD watched tcw and missed the episode where Slick calls the Jedi slavers.

There’s other problems with it as a whole, like the essayist completely failing to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that all droids are sentient, or that even most droids are. No consideration is given to the purpose, construction, or make/model of droid into the question of “are they sentient”? And we’re left with the implication that your average mouse droid is at all relatable to a black person.

In fact, PCD in this essay seems to actually imply that r2-d2 and bb8 being sentient-ish robots we’re supposed to empathize with, and the battle droids being not that, is due to a failure/breakdown of internal logic. And not that they’re, you know, different machines...?

I have so much to say on this mess, but this is long enough as it is. In conclusion, Pop Culture Detective’s video essay should have been about the clones, but it chose to focus on droids instead and in doing so dehumanized black people in an attempt to humanize robots.

I’ll leave you with this quote from the video, but edited slightly to be instead about the clones.

“[Slick]’s observations about [clone] slavery could have been an opportunity for Star Wars to finally grapple with the uncomfortable fact that...the good guys seem to have been keeping sentient beings in a state of perpetual servitude.”

[shittylongcatposts]

Hey there! Can i request for a fluffy Jumin hc? 😊 Think of your favorite cheesiest romcom scene 😂 Something like that! Thank you so much 💜💜💜

Hewwo uwu thank you for your request,  i really had fun picking it out because oh god i had so many weird things in my drafts and this was actually the funniest...I guess... I dunno that’s for you to decide.... Anyways! I really hope you like this! ^^ Have a nice sunday! <3

Cheers

Proudly you looked over the guests enjoying themselves at your very first RFA party. 

they all seemed to have fun, you found Yoosung and Seven who were trying to talk to longcat in one corner, Jaehee who was about to speak to a barista to get some tips about running a coffee shop, Zen being firted at by his fanclub and some other girls. But you were missing someone. 

you let your eyes wander over the crowd another time, and another. 

“Are you looking for someone special?” A dark, baritone voice right behind you asked and let you freeze in your actions.

before you turned around you knew he was the person you were looking for. Jumin. 

Oddly enough for everybody else you enjoyed his company a lot. He calmed you down, when you were stressed out, listened to you as much as you listened to him and you admired him a lot. 

Ok to tell the truth you were madly in love with him….

Seven actually knew it and teased you quite a lot - but he also helped you picking out a decent outfit for the party (he said Jumin would like it- he) 

-ok let’s not keep juju waiting any longer lol-

“I...uhm… I was looking for you.”

When he heard your answer, he smiled softly, tapping his glass of ice wine with his free hand. 

“For me? What is the matter?” He tilted his head and locked his eyes with yours.

you coyly looked away 

“Don’t laugh at me, I know you have up to no free time, and it’s a silly idea but I hoped that... after this party we could meet again?” With your last words you looked up at him again. 

“Why do you think it’s silly? I’d really like to spend time with you, too. Does dinner at one of my favourite restaurants sound good to you - my treat of course.” Jumin asked and took a sip of his ice wine.

“The melly smelly place?” You laughed and instantly regret your words

He tried to swallow but a giggle built up in his throat and tried to get out. 

Jumin started coughing and quickly took a handkerchief to cover his mouth and to protect his (and your) clothes

After his coughing stopped he giggled, and tried to dry his jacket by tapping it with the tissue.

“Excuse me, I don’t know where my manners are today- maybe I lost them on my way to you. Are you ok?”

 When you nodded, he blushed a little bit and breathed in

god he was such an angel. 

“Ok, so I was about to suggest a really nice Thai restaurant, but we can also go there if you want to. Your idea seems perfectly fine, too.”

You two decided on a date pretty spontaneously

Jumin just got home from a business trip, and didn’t want to be alone at home, when he called you and asked if you were free that night

You both settled a time and everything else

everything except for your outfit. 

God, you remembered the restaurant looked pretty fancy in the pictures, so your favourite pair of jeans and a nice blouse seemed a little underdressed. 

Just a few seconds after you finally decided for something fitting, the doorbell rang 

Perfect timing, as always.

You didn’t really got the time to feel nervous before your date but right now, you felt full of excitement and also super anxious

hopefully we’ll have enough to talk about

hopefully neither of us chokes on our drinks

When you opened the door your mouth fell open, too

He looked stunning in his awfully expensive three piece suit, his dark wavy hair and that heavenly smile on his lips.

The young man started fidgeting with his cufflinks while he let his eyes gaze over your featrues as well.

“Forgive me for staring, Mc, you look really wonderful today, I mean, you’re wonderful every other day too, but tonight you look absolutely stunning.”

“Thank you, Jumin, you look pretty amazing too” you couldn’t hide the blush on your face anymore, it was too much for your little heart.

The doubts you had before vanished as soon as you sat down in Jumins car. 

You talked about everything and nothing and before you knew it you found yourself in one of the comfy seats in the restaurant. 

Jumin ordered the food and some drinks for you. 

Then he looked at you again, his mouth slightly open as if he wanted to say something and oh boi he really wanted to tell you how much you mean to him but he wanted to save this for later. 

The drinks came and with a big smile on your face you took your glass in your hand, ready to clink your glass together.

But what does “cheers” mean in korean? 

“Jumin? What does cheers mean in korean?”

“건배!”

…. Mc.exe stopped working

“Geonbae” he repeated himself, slower this time, before clinking your glass with a wink. 

You said it too and…

accidentally spit in his glass while doing so. 

Oh god what if he saw it? Hopefully he didn’t, but he looked at you in that very moment.

you blushed harder than ever before. Praying that the ground would open up and swallow you in one piece.

Meanwhile Jumins cheeks turned pink too, only a little bit, but you could see it. He saw it, of course he did, nothing could escape his onyx eyes.

“Jumin, I’m so sorry, but I think I need to go to the bathroom.”

The CEO cleared his throat before he began to speak

“You’re not running away from me, are you? Look, Mc, if you are worrying about what just happened, it’s fine.”

“But I just spit in your drink?!” 

“I’m not bothered by it. It’s not like you’re venomous or…”

“But it bothers me soo much, god I, it’s so embarrassing. I’m sorry.” you felt your skin turning tomato red within another second. And then you saw his angelic smile again.

“I think it’s pretty cute, to be honest with you.”

“What?” you stared at him in disbelief.  

Then he took one of your hands and held it softly. 

“Look Mc, I really like you, and i don’t mind your saliva in the slightest. Like I said at the party I really like spending time with you, and I thought I’d take the chance to confess to you tonight. Because I cannot just spend time with you and just enjoy it as a friend, I cherish you in every way possible,...”

“Really?” Wow, is that all you got to say??

“Yes. So how about we continue going out together and see what’ll happen next time?” 

“That sounds amazing, Jumin. But let's just forget about all those embarrassing things ok?”

“Of course, my dear.” He said, which was the first and only lie he’d ever told you. How could Jumin ever forget about this wonderful evening. 

“But Mc, I’ve got a question: does this count as our first kiss?”

[vortahoney]

Pick five of your ocs and answer all of the oc questions for each of them. Now.

Okay I’ll do the one that I’m pretty sure you specifically want to know the most

Iza

1. Her human friends call her Kit or Kitty because she hisses when startled

2. Brown eyes, light brownish orangish color, and she has no hair because she is a Ferengi

3. she is 4′6″

4. You could notice their smile across the room

5. I have already said that Iza wears Hawaiian shirts pretty much all the time, but she also wears large (and very stupid) graphic tees from all over the alpha (and eventually gamma) quadrant. She has plenty of Lurian-sized merch for Quark’s. Overall, it’s pretty much big shirt big shoes small pants.

6. Caffeinated 

7. They have a large scar on their right ear, as well as their right cheek, that reaches the corner of their mouth. They got it in an accident that they had when they were little.

8. Their voice is always chipper, even in situations that are not chipper, it isn’t reflective of their emotions, it’s just how they talk.

9. It’s just absolutely covered in knickknacks. They’re a collector!

10. A notebook full of jokes that worked for the crowd and a PADD full of holophotos of their parents.

11. Iza misses her mom a lot and is always very excited when she comes to the station

12. Iza also misses her dad a lot, but they aren’t on AMAZING terms. Her dad is just kind of an asshole, but he wasn’t horrible or anything

13. They had one brother who died in the accident that they had when they were small.

14. They latched onto Bashir pretty much immediately, much to the chagrin of Bashir and also Garak (they’ve never met a doctor that was so nice!)

15. It wasn’t bad! They spent a lot of it in the hospital getting various reconstructive surgeries, and their dad also gets really sick really often, but they had a supportive mom and plenty of friends!

16. I know I could say the accident (for angst reasons) but I’m going to say getting her first pet. It was Klingon Targ. She wants another one.

17. Iza has a pretty big imagination. They can end up jumping to conclusions really quickly, and they are often very VERY far off.

18. Her family had to move a lot for various medical treatments. Her favorite place to live, though, has been ds9.

19. She is SO SCARED that she’ll mess a kid up. 

20. Not a good parent, but a fun one. They’re a little immature, but they’ve got a lot of love to give. Maybe if they adopted a teenager at some point.

21. Her mother and her cool uncle (he’s a Ferengi that we know but you guys can guess which one)

22.  I actually do not know this one. Drop your ideas in the notes.

23. Usually very upbeat people who can match their energy.

24. This sounds bad but shy people. They do not like trying to get people to open up.

25. They haven’t found their soulmate yet, but they’re definitely looking.

26. N/A

27. N/A

28. N/A

29. N/A

30. They got the standard Ferengi education but then went to acting school on Earth

31. They were SUPER outgoing and joined a lot of extra classes and clubs. Botany classes, sewing clubs, carpentry clubs, you name it. They were trying to make up for the time they lost after they spent so much of their childhood in the boring, sterile environment of a hospital.

32. They were super good at Language Arts and acting

33. They were honestly more interested in making people laugh than anything at school.

34. Comedy!! They hope to really take off one day and become a famous comedian like John Mulaney or J’Tahs Tiroha (famous klingon comedian that I just made up)

35. They perform literally every night at Quark’s (or on Ten Forward when they decide stay on the enterprise for awhile)

36. They absolutely love it. They love making people laugh and just being entertaining in general.

37. To be a famous comedian.

38. She acts out when she gets stressed. Sometimes she ends up in a holding cell.

39. She doesn’t get angry very often, but when she does she closes herself off.

40. It’s pretty similar with grief, except she cries a lot as well.

41. Her biggest fear is dying in obscurity

42. Seeing people smile

43. Their sense of humor is really upbeat. They don’t really do self deprecating, only mild stuff in their anecdotes. They also do joke about their feelings and events in their life.

44. She hates it when people refuse to be happy. She also hates when people whistle.

45. Whistling, high pitched noises in general (their hearing aid picks up on a LOT of them so they can get annoying)

46. She regrets not doing more to save her brother when they were kids. She also regrets not taking more time to figure herself out.

47. VERY easily

48. They can be really passive-aggressive since they don’t like to show negative feelings.

49. The accident and the hospitals

50. They haven’t told anyone about their brother. They also had a girlfriend in acting school who left her for reasons she does not disclose.

51. They want to put good into the world no matter what. They are also VERY for the Ferengi feminist movement, but they feel that business is bad and earning money shouldn’t be the only goal. They also have very strong feelings about the treatment of the Dominion aliens. They’re also pretty anti-federation, they think it’s basically an empire masquerading as a democratic union of planets.

52. She’s really motivated by the need to find love

53. She’s pretty physically healthy, if a little scrawny. She does get sick super easily, though.

54. Heart 100%

55. They do not like to think about death.

56. They’re really good at improvising and they care a lot

57. They aren’t very good at interpreting other people’s needs.

58. They try really REALLY hard not to cry because they know that they need criticism to grow, but sometimes they canNOT help it

59. She likes to think of herself as someone who cares

60. If she could change something about herself, it would be how easy she cries or gets anxious

61. They tend to think she has no boundaries, which isn’t TRUE at all.

62. She bears her heart onstage, but almost never one-on-one

63. Physical affection

64. Nail biting and clacking their teeth together

65. Orange juice! She likes thinner liquids

66. Toasted tubeworms

67. Butterscotches, they ate so many in acting school

68. Spring! It’s rainy and it reminds them of home

69 (nice). Cold rain

70. Garak made them read the Never-Ending Sacrifice and once they got their attention on it, they really liked it.

71. A Bajoran sitcom about farmers who adopt a cardassian baby called “Fires in the North” (very loosely translated)

72. Things that are upbeat and very loud. Lyrics don’t really matter as much.

73. Comedy!

74. Blue

75. Plants. Anything outside. The opposite of a hospital

76. They’re actually really fond of Cardassian Voles

77. A cheering crowd

78. Early morning, when everything is just getting started

79. They really like pickle flavored ice cream

80. Those really tiny ones that spit venom in that one guy’s face from jurassic park

81. Make your own question: Did your OC have a favorite teacher?

One of their acting professors was Dr. Ren, a human woman who nurtured her talent for comedy when all her other professors either tried to get her to be more serious, if they didn’t just write her passion off as another Ferengi moneymaking scheme.

[godzillaisepic]

And that was Godzilla (1954)! Not a lot of clips, sorry about that! I made this blog partly to clip the funny moments in godzilla films, but as this movie is quite serious there really wasn't much to clip besides the two. I gonna write a little review for this one but I'm not sure I will do this for every movie and this one is certainly a special case!

THE PARTS I LIKED

The whole beginning of the movie. The movie starts by showing ships being sunk by a mysterious explosion and then cuts the ship control center where the crew is being bombarded by family members of the lost demanding answers. When the only surviving fisher man of one of the boats washes ashore a crowd surrounds it asking for any info at all about what happened. A violent hurricane rips through the same small fishing town and destroys buildings and we are left on a scene of a man screaming for his brother who was crushed in their own home. This is a part that I think the film really succeeds in, it's depictions of the pain and suffering in people and groups. In a lot of movies, crowds are a lot of time shown as a faceless mob with some vague goal, but in godzilla crowds are shown as desperate and panicked individuals in a frenzied state trying to find answers to something. Maybe it's all the yelling and jostling in the crowds that make them feel so real. These good performances make every death or ship lost feel like a travesty.

Another good thing was how well the mystery of godzilla was handled in the beginning of the movie. Not really a "mystery" per say (the movie is called godzilla, he takes up most of the poster) but there is a sense of unease and tension as you wait for the big man himself to be revealed. And boy does he! I don't know what it is about this shot but Godzilla looks so uncanny and creepy. The beginning of the movie feels almost like godzilla has been omitted in some form, but you know he's there, lurking.

DESOLATION is also handled very well. The film purposefully provokes images of the the hydrogen bombings after godzilla's attack on Tokyo. Tokyo is burning and flattened to the ground, hospitals are overcrowded and a child cries for her dead mother and it's absolutely gut wrenching. There's a suffocating sense of bleakness and powerlessness as the people watch godzilla kill innocent people and tear apart their city. One person watches godzilla rip and throw aside a bridge and mutters to themselves "damn beast"

All in all this movie is shaping up to be pretty good, eh? and its aged pretty well even in the special effects department. Could this actually be a really great movie? Well that's what I thought watching it up to this point and well, you'll see...

THE PARTS I DIDN'T LIKE

Why does Dr. Serizawa have to look like this? The smallest eyepatch known to man, the constant wearing of a lab coat, the huge rubber gloves. I absolutely cannot take this guy seriously! And then he starts talking about an "oxygen destroyer" and how there is definitely a good use for it besides eviscerating fish he just hasn't found it yet, and he says this in front of miscellaneous beakers and flasks. I'm sorry! I can't! I can suspend my disbelief enough for giant radioactive monster but not for a magic ball that deletes oxygen and turns fish into bones! And he dies at the end, and I don't care! All he did was wax poetic about his special ball that could kill everyone that he swears has a good use for humanity but could also definitely kill everyone. I get it's drawing parallels to the fact that we now use nuclear energy for power but started out as bomb fuel, but fucking, oxygen destroyer?? Apparently this plot point shows up in king of the monsters, so I guess I have that to look forward to.

Another grip I had with movie is how Emiko's character is written. She is super weirdly passive and submissive. In this regard the movie is definitely a product of it's time. Besides her push to break off her engagement and marry Ogata, she spends most of the movie seeming very overwhelmed, apologizing for the men in her life and bursting into tears. Yes she is in a stressful situation but it feels very weird when she is the only one having emotional outbursts not fueled by anger.

It was definitely disappointing how the third act of the movie played out, I was really enjoying it up until that point. But I really didn't care about the characters, or their love triangle, or serizawa's sacrifice. Movies are only going to sillier from here on out so it's very disappointing that the serious one seems to miss the mark.

[archadianskies]

Whumptober Day 14

Heat Exhaustion  → part of the MT-RK900

Whumptober Masterlist | 14/31 of RK900 short stories ↳ on Ao3

Tags:  Post-Pacifist Best Ending x Heat Stroke

{Character sheet + bonus art here, and here. }

“We were hoping it’d be you.” The AX700 giggles as he opens the supply box. He tips his head curiously. 

“You’re Dr Anderson aren’t you?” The human smiles through her pain as he very gently cleans the graze on her knee with water and some wadded gauze. He nods.

“Our friend is a nurse at Detroit Metro.” The AX700 explains with a grin, taking a seat on the spare chair in the humid First Aid tent. 

“She’s always talking about you.” The human rolls her eyes though her smile indicates she isn’t as annoyed as she projects. 

“Her name is Molly.” The android pipes up, opening her palm to display a photo. “She thinks you’re pretty cool.”

“It’s pretty cool you’re here, actually.” The human points out as he disinfects the graze and applies a wound dressing securely. “Didn’t think music festivals were your thing.”

“I volunteered.” He says, and both of them grin. 

“Ohhh okay your teeth are so cool.” The human laughs, clapping her hands together.

“Yeah, no wonder Molly has a crush on you!” The AX700 adds with a teasing smile. He doesn’t quite know what to say to that so he defers to his programming.

“Please be careful, and change the dressing after twenty-four hours.” Ronan instructs, and she nods attentively. “If you’re unsure, please feel free to phone the nurse hotline and initiate a video chat so they can demonstrate the correct method for you.”

“Okie-dokie!” She declares cheerfully. “Thanks doc!”

He returns their enthusiastic waves as they exit the tent. 

 WARNING

>>Core temperature UNSTABLE

 He presses his lips into a thin line, brows creasing. The RK900 was crafted for the arctic tundra, and not with Michigan summers in mind. The music festival seemed a fun idea, a break from his usual environment at Jericho and Detroit Metro and far less intense. It certainly surprised his superiors when he volunteered for the event, and in hindsight he can see why. 

The weather is beautiful, the sky cloudless and the sun shining brightly. In turn the temperature is higher than what he’s accustomed to and the tent set up to the far side of the crowd isn’t well ventilated. Ronan frowns, feeling his stress levels rise as his body attempts to redirect the building heat. He feels his chest rise and fall, ventilating his biocomponents in an effort to cool his system.

“You’re not looking so good, buddy.” Andrew, one of the EMTs from Detroit Metro and his colleague for the day, comments as he re-enters the tent. “Your hair is going white.”

Is it? Ronan’s frown deepens, knowing it’s a sign his stress levels are peaking. The human steps forward and makes to place his wrist on his brow before halting mid-action.

“Err- no that’s not quite right. What’s your core temp?” He asks instead, guiding Ronan to sit down. 

“Too high.” He grimaces, and the man shakes his head. 

“Okay strip off your top uniform layer and I’ll grab you an iced drink.” The man orders sternly before exiting the tent. Ronan clumsily unbuttons his double-breasted uniform, leaning forward to ease it from his shoulders. The vinyl apron is too long for the gesture and so he has to stand to remove it completely. He stands too quickly; his system lurches as his gyroscope fails to balance him properly and he finds himself sprawled on the ground, face pressed to the grass.

“Ronan! Shit hang on-” Andrew curses, dropping to his knees and very gently coaxing him to lie flat on his back. “You’re burning up buddy, I’m going to have to open your chest up okay?” 

Ronan manages to nod weakly as the human quickly divests him of his upper clothing and presses at the side seam to open his chest hatch. The sound of his internal fan whirring fills the tent and Andrew leaves his side briefly to pull back the entrance flaps to help more air flow inside. Androids have no gag reflex, no swallowing motions to push liquids down their throat, so Andrew simply uncaps the chilled thirium and tips it into his mouth. The effect is immediate and he feels his temperature slowly lower into something manageable.

“Never thought I’d be giving first aid to a first responder, yet here we are.” Andrew chuckles as Ronan sits up unaided, taking the second offered bottle and finishing that as well.

“I apologise.” He fights down the rising feeling of shame. “I have not experienced temperatures this high ever in my life.”

“And you were made for the North Pole.” Andrew snorts back a laugh, clapping him on the shoulder. “You can’t wear your uniform, it’s too heavy, but I can’t exactly let you just treat people half naked. I’ll get you a shirt from the merch stand.”

“Thank you Andrew. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Are you kidding me?” He laughs brightly, pausing in the entrance of the tent. “This is the most exciting thing that’s happened today.”

It’s still too warm in the tent, so after his colleague leaves, Ronan exits the tent too. The temperature outside is lower than inside, and though he’s closed his chest hatch there’s at least enough of a breeze to cool his body now he’s no longer wearing the full uniform.

“Hey um, doc?” It’s the human with the grazed knee he treated earlier, and her AX700 friend.

“Yes?” He blinks down at them, noting their flushed faces and fidgety behaviour. The heat must be getting to everyone.

“Can we get a selfie for the social?” The AX700 asks as the human waves her phone.

“We want to show our friends who helped me!” 

“Oh. Um. Sure?” Ronan blinks in surprise, a little taken aback. He’s not one for photographs, he’s still unsure of his rather sharp smile no matter how much Simon and Connor reassure him. He leans down a little to compensate for the large height difference.

“Say cheese!” He says ‘cheese’ and she presses the button rapidly to take a few photos and he hopes his sharp teeth don’t frighten whoever views the photo online.

“Thanks doc, you’re the best!” She giggles, eyeing him from head to toe. He gives them a little wave as they slip back into the crowd.

“So they only had a medium left and you’re absolutely not a medium but it’s better than nothing.” Andrew declares, tossing him the shirt. “Damn, look at you.” He grins, shaking his head as Ronan slips the shirt over his head and tries to tug it down. It pulls tightly across his chest and finishes well above his navel. “Internet’s gonna have a field day.” 

Well, no he hopes not because he’d rather no one know he fell prey to heat exhaustion though he knows Connor will find out because he cannot ever keep secrets from his brother. Connor will be kind about it, he thinks, even if he’ll fuss for a little while. 

“Tell you what.” Andrew ducks inside the tent to drag out two chairs. “We’ll sit out here and stay cool and only go inside if there’s someone to treat.”

“A capital idea.” Ronan smiles gratefully.

 *~*

North shoves the tablet close enough it almost touches his nose.

“Have you seen these?” 

“Um-” Simon blinks, his optics adjusting to the screen. He feels his cheeks heat as he finds himself looking at photos of Ronan at the music festival dressed in too small a shirt, uniform peeled down to sit low on his hips- clearly candids taken by various festival attendees. “I guess I have now?”

“Damn, do you think you could convince Ronan to do a charity calendar? We’d make bank!” North laughs as Simon squawks in protest. “Come on, look the internet’s eating him up! One charity calendar and we’d fund Jericho’s outreach programs in no time! We should get him to hold puppies! Or kittens! People love half naked men holding baby animals!”

“NORTH!”