#I cannot express how fucking awesome it is the final sequence to me on so many levels

[felassan]

Thoughts on Dark Fortress #3

(This post is under a cut due to spoilers.)

There’s a lot I thought/wanna say about this final issue, to the point that it’s hard to know where to start!

The cover art is.. beautiful. The symbolic allusion between Shirallas and the dragon (his draconic-y claws, the semblance of a broken collar falling off in the same way, the fire) 👌 On the whole, lined up side-by-side the three covers of Dark Fortress feel really thematically cohesive. Shirallas’ and the dragon’s claws echo Tractus’ sharp metal gauntlet, and as well as the similarities between the dragon and Shirallas, both Tractus and the dragon have a circle of weapons, and the patterning encircles Tractus’ neck and wrists like the collars and shackles. Y’know, like you can just really tell the cover artist planned ahead and put a lot of thought into how the 3 cover arts would ‘flow’ from one to the other, blending elements between them.

I posted some of my fav panels here.

I knew he was my boy but Shirallas’ backstory broke my heart ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` ) the first panel is so bleak and heart-wrenching. the burning aravel parts.. another Dalish clan met a terrible fate.

I wonder if his clan wandered Tevinter like Clan Oranavra? it makes me wonder if Shirallas and Fenris met in Tevinter. It’s nice to see that another clan took him in. And if Shirallas is a name he took, not his original name, I assume it has a special meaning, maybe to do with his quest for justice/vengeance. Shiral means journey, “allas” is found in vallas, which means set, as in the sun. The “vallas” in vallasdahlen (life-trees, planted in remembrance of those who dedicated their lives to the Dales) means life. in many ways the sun and life are the same thing, and there’s the obvious connection to Elgar’nan, eldest of the sun. So journey/quest - sun/life? Like since the loss of his clan he’s on a journey/quest for the rest of his life to get justice/vengeance, which are attributes of the sun god Elgar’nan? that became his life’s purpose and his direction of ‘travel’ ever since his loss, what he dedicated his life to since then. :’( 

Elgara vallas, da'len. ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

This is our first look at the vallaslin application process, no? what Shirallas is saying in this panel is the Song to Elgar’nan. it’s interesting, in that that prayer kind of resembles what happened, or almost happened, in this issue. a fortress shaken, fire, winged death (a dragon), pretenders to power, “strike the usurpers” (“Red Wraith, dispose of my enemies, kill the traitorous mage”). pretty cool right?

⬇️ me two months ago, look at the tags in red brackets. 

oh my son.. Dalish father roams, and the Dalish son won’t survive the fight   ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

the panel where Fenris and Shirallas shake hands ;; to which experience is Fenris speaking of, I wonder? once upon a time he saw Anders almost lose himself in his own quest for Justice/Vengeance for the mages.

Parallels between Shirallas succeeding in proving himself to Nenealeus and when Fenris succeeded in proving himself to Danarius all those years ago - compare. ;__; an elf surrounded by bodies of people he’d killed to prove himself, and a horrible Magister telling him “well done”.

I love the design of the sword and its use as a ‘divider’ on the first page splitting up the panels is both smart and beautiful. even here there’s pink light around it, the dragon’s fire

overall I wasn’t expecting this issue to begin with flashbacks to Shirallas’ past and backstory, so this whole page caught me off-guard

omg look at the red lyrium ‘veins’ under Shirallas’ skin. when he emerges from the sarcophagus that is a very cool picture of his face

Nenealeus has been taking beard-styling advice/trends from the dwarves

check out the sword crackling and reforming as Shirallas makes contact with it. is the red lyrium under his skin moving in this scene?

in the panel of Vaea running away from the dragon, it’s nice that as she runs Fenris is still behind facing the dragon, to protect her

gorgeous background in the panel with Marquette, and his expression is one of Regret for what he just did and for his part in all this. the dawning realization that I’ve Fucked Up Big Time

as Nenealeus’ weapon is a sword, does he have some Knight Enchanter-adjacent skills (I don’t expect the actual KE artform is exclusive to southern Circles only)? it’s a physical item ofc, not a summoned one. staffs are infused with lyrium to provide a conduit for a mage’s power. so then, mages can channel power through other [presumably similarly-infused] weapons too, not just mage staves/staff-like magic implements or their bare hands

given the color of Nenealeus’ magic and the fact that the dragon was under the control of his magic, it now makes sense to me why the dragon’s fire is that color! o:

Marius is badass (nice touch that his shoulder is smoking pink with the effects of one of Nenealeus’ magic attacks here) and the four panels where everyone’s grim and determined, facing off against each other and Venatori goons made me feel quite emotional. Aaron is Team Dad.. it’s nice to see him having a friendship / paternal moment with Francesca both acknowledging her pain and power while also giving her a pep talk. You can tell when he says too “We all need to do whatever we can in this moment” that he’s talking about himself too and may already be thinking one or some of them aren’t going to make it out of there

Francesca GO OFF!! she’s so powerful, and it’s really cool every time seeing her plant magic in action. it puts in perspective how powerful Velanna would have been with her similar skills (skills like Thornblades), and I enjoy the contrast of the fire in the background and the blue/green of Fran’s magic in action

Fenris is so cool-headed in high-octane combat situations, quickly taking stock, assessing and realizing the odds then coming up with a plan. the look on Vaea’s face when she’s like >:( wtf u can’t just leave is cute

cool pulled-back bird’s eye shot of the Fortress

Karasten continuing with the sass about Tevinter even during a siege

Fenris speaking Qunlat! I love that they brought this lore fact into play and had him make use of this skill, it’s a neat reminder of Fenris’ exchange with the Arishok if you take him into the compound in DA2. in the opening-up the gates scene, Vaea’s worried about letting the Qunari in and going to the Qunari (from her expression), but she trusts Fenris and his judgement enough to open the gate and see what happens

I like that Tessa’s bolts are fletched the blue of her accent color

chills at the panel where Shirallas is walking out of the flames advancing on Aaron. Ser Aaron, who never retreats, not at Ostagar, not now ;__;

the battle-scenes are beautiful, fast-paced and gory, chaotic and colorful, like it would feel to be there 

Fenris then puts himself between Aaron and Shirallas. I could hear “I will deal with this Red Wraith” in my head

Autumn can look so scary. a true mabari warrior! when she leapt towards Shirallas I was Stressed for her safety despite knowing rationally that they wouldn’t kill their dog!

the horizontal combat splash page is awesome

CLEVER GIRL Autumn. she and Fenris are in sync in this sequence.

Shirallas serving super saiyan vibes with the bulk, strength, hair

Fenris bargaining for Fran’s life and then trusting her to use her magic as part of the attack on the Red Wraith

lmao Ser Aaron

smart thinking Fran

Aaron praising her ;__;

Marius was straight-up prepared to die to stop Nenealeus ;__; poor Tessa in this exchange

the face-melting scene  👌

“Ah, Marius... I knew it would come down to the two of us”: this panel is just really cool? Nenealeus looks almost congenial here, which makes him seem all the more colder and more dangerous. and the burning bodies strongly remind me of the bodies at the start of Inquisition which are at the ‘blast point’ of the Breach at the Conclave

when Marius and Vaea’s eyes meet and they formulate the backup plan  👌

nice to see ‘staff’-less magic in action. Nenealeus is clearly a very powerful mage. when he’s frying Marius he has Star Wars Palpatine and force lightning vibes

OH VAEA... you did it, but my heart hurts that she had to kill someone for the first time, even though it was foreshadowed by her discussion with Marius in a earlier issue. & Nenealeus’ look of surprise as he dies says it all

it’s a serious moment but Marius now looks like a cat that stuck its paw in a socket hh

when Nenealeus is doubled over dead, it’s a great panel- the white background taking us out of the chaos that’s going on all-around for just a moment, showing the seriousness of what’s just transpired for Vaea and the realization of it setting in. a pause, the shock. & it’s nice to see Marius being soft with someone other than Calpernia or Tessa

but despite what’s just happened Vaea is still Vaea, she’s concerned about life and immediately wants to save the dragon. I like the part where panels of Vaea and Fran ‘face’ each other as they have this discussion, a lot.

in the moment that it takes off, does the dragon realize Vaea is responsible for saving its life? the ‘eye’ panel feels like an acknowledgement from it, or between the two

Fran’s magic destroying and sinking the sarcophagus into the ground reminds me of what in-world lore says happened to Arlathan, in a way

omg they have to stop Shirallas before he gets over 9000

do you think when Aaron says “We cannot retreat” he’s thinking of Loghain’s retreat at Ostagar?

at this point btw I’m pleasantly surprised that Marius survives, I had sort of expected him to die in this issue

oh Marquette, curiosity killed the cat dontcha know

new lore just dropped: the Red Wraith is able to heal from any wound, which is notable, and he and the sword have a.. symbiotic relationship? with each other. “He feeds energy to the sword from the red lyrium in his veins. And in turn, the sword heals his wounds.” What are the lore implications of this? Just what is red lyrium capable of?

Paragon Branka reference! and later on a Black Marsh reference

:’( As soon as Aaron launched into his story at this point my stress levels went through the roof and I knew it was Time. and then - well. you know :’((( Aaron had death flags in previous issues, so I was logically prepared and not surprised by the occurrence (this isn’t a bad thing btw), but I still wasn’t EMOTIONALLY PREPARED

mfw

nooooooooo.... It was at this point everyone that I burst into tears.. i have never Ugly Cried at a comic before so that was a new experience.. It’s hard to put my feelings about this into words bc rly it just straight-up destroyed me, u know.. Vaea’s “Don’t leave me”, Aaron’s tears when he knows the deed is done, his pendant.. surely the resemblance between the way he looks on this cover and the way he looks in the panel when he’s falling and Vaea is shouting “Aaron!” is intentional. i’m just destroyed okay

On the next page, holes in Shirallas’ shirt where his wounds were before they healed is a nice touch. Autumn’s bite here must surely be shattering the bone in his lower leg. then as if i wasn’t in enough pain already - being separated from the weapon, did that bring Shirallas back to himself for a while? His “Friend?” and the look in his eyes when he looks up at Fenris is so pitiful :’( for a moment just before the end he’s the boy in the wood surrounded by his burning clan again. RIP Shirallas son, we barely knew ye but I loved u :’(((

Having Marquette escape is a smart choice, it means there’s someone still kicking around Thedas who knows what happened here and what went down. maybe we seek him out in the next game when trying to follow up on the plot-thread of the idol/red lyrium/its capabilities/Venatori/Qunari? anyway, can’t help but admire, in a fashion anyway, someone who dips out to save their own skin, and his attempted grift when he’s talking to Tractus x)

we hadn’t seen the last of Tractus indeed. there he is! “This is me, crying over our loss” - he’s such an edgy boi

THE IDOL

“Oh, you mean this idol?” feels like they’re breaking the fourth wall and deliberately teasing us x)

when Fenris says “[stay clear of it] Red lyrium can do things with your mind” I wonder if he’s thinking of his experiences with things like Bartrand and Meredith

started to cry again at the final Aaron scenes ok.. when it pans back to Vaea and Autumn on the shore with the dying Aaron, they look so small and lonely set against the backdrop of the gray rock, windy shore, jagged outcrops. it’s a beautifully poignant and incredibly forlorn backdrop for this scene. Autumn in these panels, and again the parallel between Aaron lying here and him on that cover page.. ;; the whole scene is raw and gutwrenching. even in death Aaron was thinking about Vaea, apologizing that she had to take a life, outlining his hopes that she continues to have a positive future and doesn’t descend into any kind of darkness. the fact that all this time he’s carried around a letter addressed to King Alistair in his pocket, to recommend that Vaea be knighted, the fact that he’s crying too, the pendant, the tenderness between them, how proud Aaron is of Vaea, the fact that he goes out telling a story and smiling because he’s so proud of her, here at the end Aaron is filled with pride and looks at peace.. i can’t ( ok i cried again on this re-read when writing this post, Dad Stuff is the ultimate way to get me ok.. don’t look at me _(°:з」∠)_ )

Vaea IS more than worthy. I’m so glad someone recognizes that and sees it in her. King Alistair WOULD knight her, and there’s a beautiful poetry in that fact as the son of an elf. there’s also something poetic in that, if Vaea becomes the first elven knight of Ferelden, well it echoes the Emerald Knights of old in a way. that’s beautiful. I’m very proud of Vaea.

Here we see another parallel - when Francesca is comforting a crying Vaea as her father figure passes away, it directly echoes when Vaea comforted Francesca when she was crying after her own father died. 

Aaron’s hometown of Portsmouth is a real place in England

I’m happy to see Fran and Autumn continuing to travel with Vaea, and Fenris continuing to keep his promise to Aaron to keep Vaea safe, and that Cassé is now Fran’s horse (that’s a lovely touch considering she healed him in Blue Wraith, a full-circle moment)

Fenris is right, they were family. soft supportive Fenris, with emotional intelligence ;; (and he of all people knows about Found Family)

the last panel of Vaea crying is beautiful too, the sun is rising in the east after the terrible night they’ve had, and the ‘faded’ rectangles is a great style/composition choice

even Cassé the horse looks sad

the scene of Fran and Vaea riding double with Fenris smiling in the background is super cute, and I love that the last we see of the party is them honoring Ser Aaron by telling stories like he did, of his exploits. I hope they always tell stories of Ser Aaron ;;

I’m glad Tessa made it out okay, she’ll be able to return to Charter. 💜 I was a bit worried this wouldn’t be the case

the last page DBKGRRGRKRKGREKF 

Pour one out for Ser Aaron Hawthorne of Portsmouth, Knight of Ferelden.

---

A recap on wider plot-points

The Qunari Antaam have taken control of Castellum Tenebris, and Neromenian has fallen to their advance.

The sarcophagus is broken and has been buried deep in the ground. Francesca asserts that it won’t be found.

The Inquisition agents retrieved the broken shards of the weapon, and are going to take its remains to the shadow Inquisition.

Tractus Danarius is alive and in possession of the idol, or was at the timepoint of this comic. He wants to use it to impress the Venatori remnants so that he can rejoin them. Marquette thinks, or said that he thinks (could easily be a bluff or his lack of knowledge about it compared to someone like Solas), that it doesn’t work anymore. (I’m leaning towards it does still work, otherwise why would Solas be interested in it?)

Solas, in what looks kinda like his most recent DA4 trailer gear, was watching the events of this series/arc the whole time and knows what happened. He knows Tractus has the idol. None of the people in this comic plot are “People Solas doesn’t know”. And it seems that he is able to use eluvians to watch people.

There’s a chance that Tractus Danarius is the mage in Tevinter Nights, from Dread Wolf Take You - the mage from House Danarius who went with some slaves to Nevarra to use the idol to perform a ritual with the Mortalitasi. That mage wanted to change the world to help fight the Antaam’s invasion. In the tale at least, he used the idol, a rift opened, the Dread Wolf popped out and killed him. At the time of that ritual the idol was still working.

+ some new lore -

the Red Wraith was able to heal from any wound, which is notable, and he and the sword the idol created had a.. symbiotic relationship? with each other. “He feeds energy to the sword from the red lyrium in his veins. And in turn, the sword heals his wounds.” What are the lore implications of this? Just what is red lyrium capable of?

eluvians can be used to watch people. not just to communicate over long distances or as portals between places

Lastly I don’t know what to do with myself anymore as this is the end of a long-running DA arc and was the final piece of [currently-known about] new canon Dragon Age content that we’ll get.

[seeaddywrite]

stars, hide your fires

this fic has been started approximately four different times, & no matter how much i cut or rearrange, it still ends up as a multi-chapter, so i’m giving up the fight & doing it. it’s been a challenge, but one i’m enjoying. currently, i’m guessing this will end up at about ten chapters, depending on how it goes. my goal is to update twice a week -- feel free to keep me accountable. :)

based on this prompt from @roswellprompts: “post-finale. malex eventually, preferably. alex goes undercover with his brothers to learn about the weapon they're developing and pretends he's on their side. everyone suspects he's truly gone dark. even alex can't tell the difference sometimes.”

thanks to @soberqueerinthewild for letting me rant about this fic, reading over it, & for basically being the best. also, thanks to @ubiestcaelum for Hunter’s name & being generally awesome. 

“Manes, come on,” Valenti whines from behind Alex, sounding more like a disappointed teenager than the fully grown, mature man  he’s supposedly become. “Liz is cooking at Evans’ tonight, and neither of us get enough home cooking to miss it.”

The feel of displaced air on the back of his neck as Kyle steps up behind him makes Alex tense a little -- it’s hard to relax with people out of his line of sight, even when it’s someone he trusts. Old habits die hard, and Alex has plenty of reason to remain vigilant. But since Kyle Valenti has somehow stepped back into his life and decided to fill the position of ‘best friend’ that he’d vacated back in high school, Alex doesn’t react, and only rolls his eyes at the whining.

“You’re only this desperate to go because you know Liz is bringing Arturo’s enchiladas,” Alex teases him, knowing full well that no one would be this excited over Liz’s cooking. The woman is a genius with lab equipment, but she lacks when it comes to measuring cups and kitchen timers. He’s learned that the hard way over the many dinner get-togethers their little circle has held in the last several months. It’s a habit Liz started when Rosa was first brought back, and she, Michael, and Isobel were still grieving Max, and it’s continued even now that Rosa has fully reintegrated to Roswell living and they’ve successfully managed to bring Max back from the dead.

Alex won’t admit it aloud, but those dinners have quickly become his favorite part of the week. Having Liz and Rosa around so often is a balm to the loneliness he’s been battling for months, and when Maria joins them -- still, unfortunately, in the dark about the alien truths -- Alex can almost pretend everything is back to normal. And on top of that, he’s found that he actually likes Max and Isobel Evans, despite rocky beginnings. In some tangential way, they’re family; no matter what his relationship status with Michael, that will always be true.

And then, of course, there’s the fact that those dinners are the one time that he’s guaranteed to see Guerin smile. They’ve passed the awkward exes phase, and now that the relationship with Maria has died a natural death, Alex doesn’t even feel guilty when their eyes meet and he feels that old, familiar chemistry flare between them. It’s a slow, delicious burn, and he’s looking forward to the resolution.

“Obviously,” Valenti agrees with an unconcerned shrug, drawing Alex back into their banter and away from distracting thoughts of Guerin. “But if you tell Liz I said that, I’m telling her that you fed the last meal she left for you to the beagle after she left.” He shoves playfully at Alex’s shoulder, and takes the return swat in stride before returning to his attempts at persuasion.“But, seriously, we’ve been through those files a thousand times already. You’re not going to find anything we haven’t already seen, so I think whatever this is can wait until tomorrow so we can go get some decent food for once. Don’t you?”

It probably could wait until tomorrow. There’s no reason for Alex to believe the incongruous firewall he’d just run into in some of Project Shepherd’s newest files is hiding anything more than the usual information on alien torture disguised as science -- but something in his gut is telling him that he needs to dig deeper, to find out what lies behind the wall of code that had been cleverly hidden in plain sight. And if Alex learned anything during his time on active duty, it’s that he should always trust his gut.

“You go ahead,” he tells Kyle, most of his attention still directed at the complicated coding sequences he’s creating with sharp, precise movements of his fingers over the keyboard. “Tell everyone I’ll see them soon, but there’s something here, and I --” Alex blinks in surprise, cutting himself off. “-- wow. It’s like they’re not even trying to keep me out.”

Like most of Jesse Manes’ sad attempts at cyber security, the firewall keeping Alex from the information he wants buckles under the weight of less than five minutes of Alex’s direct attention. He’s not even surprised, anymore -- his father has always been more of a bruiser than a thinker, and coding takes a certain kind of creativity, an ability to create. A man who only knows how to destroy could never possess that skill.

Both men go silent and still as images begin to pop up on the screens, and Alex swallows convulsively to quell sudden nausea. Surveillance footage from Roswell -- all from the last six months. Somehow, Project Shepherd has remained up and running despite Alex’s father’s sudden disappearance from the scene, and whoever’s behind it has been watching both Evans’ houses, Michael’s trailer, and the Crashdown, from the looks of things.

Panic begins to swell in the back of Alex’s mind as he remembers all of the things that have happened in those locations -- all of the suddenly not-dead people who have walked through those entryways, all of the alien powers that are showcased so cavalierly in the sanctity of their own homes. Michael’s got his bunker beneath the Airstream, for crying out loud! So many secrets. So many possibilities for discovery. And if Project Shepherd knows the truth, it’s only a matter of time before Michael and his siblings are dragged off to another off-books facility to suffer the same fate as the people they’d watched die at Caulfield.

Fuck.

If the surveillance was the worst of it, Alex could have dealt with it. Deleting the photos and video is the work of a moment, and he knows that his brothers -- who have to be heading things up in Jesse’s absence -- don’t have the skills to protect anything online from him. It’s a pain, and he’ll have to keep checking to be certain that new cameras haven’t been positioned, but overall, the situation would be manageable. He could control the intel received, could make sure there was never enough solid evidence to move against Michael or the twins.

But Alex has no power over the half-drawn schematics of the weapon he’s staring at now.

At least, that’s what he thinks he’s looking at -- he’s no engineer, and the scribbles on the scanned paper may as well be written in Mandarin, for all Alex knows. But the info dump says it’s alien tech of some sort, geared toward taking out their own kind -- and Alex knows, immediately, that he cannot risk his brothers or any military personnel gaining access to it. Not when Alex’s world still at least half-revolves around Michael Guerin, despite their newly minted status as friends. Not when Max and Isobel have somehow become part of his family, too, through his determination to keep Michael in his life and help bring Max back from the dead. Not when Liz and Rosa and Kyle could lose everything, if all of this were brought to light by the wrong people.

“What do we do with this?” Kyle asks finally, breaking the tense silence in the bunker. It’s been at least twenty minutes of staring, horror-struck at the screen, and Alex is no closer to an answer than he was when they started. “We have to warn them. There’s no way whoever’s running the show --”

“Flint,” Alex interrupts, his voice hard. “It has to be Flint. And probably the others, too. Dad always drags Charlie along with him on whatever he’s doing, and Hunter’s never too far behind.” Alex’s comment to Flint about mindlessly following the flock is accurate for all of his brothers. With the occasional exception of Charlie, who Alex knows tried to be a better brother to him for a while, they’re all soldiers, highly decorated and respected in their fields -- but none of them have ever been willing to go against their father.

Kyle’s lips thin, but he nods agreement. “Fine. There’s no way Flint knows about all this and isn’t planning a move, Alex. We’ve gotta get them all out of town. And probably ourselves, too. If they manage to develop this weapon --”

“We’re not running,” Alex snaps, punching the power control on the monitors so that the screens go dark. He spins his chair to look at Valenti, and knows that the expression on his face is far from reassuring -- he’s simultaneously panicking and furious, and he can’t contain it all within himself without just a little spilling over into his features.

Because slowly, an idea is forming in the back of his head. No one is going to like it -- God knows Alex doesn’t, but it’s the only way out of this fucking mess that Alex can see, and he’s desperate enough to protect Guerin and the others that he’s willing to take the risk.

“Alex, I don’t think we have a choice,” Valenti tells him firmly, and Alex’s eyes aren’t the ones that are wide and full to the brim with a frantic need to move, to do something. He starts to pace around Alex’s chair as he speaks, picking up speed with every word and step until it’s hard for Alex to understand. “Even if I was okay with the idea of your dickhead family marching in and kidnapping Evans and the others, I’m the one who put your dad in that coma. How long do you think it’ll take them to connect those dots? They’ll find him. They’ll wake him up, and it won’t just be the aliens they’re after anymore.”

There’s a moment of tense silence as Alex levers himself out of the computer chair and takes a few steps, working the stiffness from sitting too long out of his bad leg. “We’re not running,” he repeats, and this time, his voice is full of purpose. “I have an idea. It’s -- awful, but it’s the only way we’re going to be able to live out our lives without constantly looking over our shoulders.” Alex straightens his spine and stands at his full height, regarding Kyle solemnly and making it as clear as he can that he’s not going to hear any arguments.

“I’m going to infiltrate Project Shepherd, and we’re going to bring them down.”

[citrusandbergamot]

do people ever get tired of being critical?

like, it’s so endless. so needless. take the bad with the good, I mean, come on. like, type in RWBY into the youtube search bar and half the videos are reaction ones about why RWBY sucks now, ‘why I stopped watching’ blah blah blah. 

like, I get being frustrated and being annoyed that your expectations are not met but seriously

no piece of media is perfect to all people. it just isn’t. it’s really easy for something to feel awesome when it’s new. few things end stronger than they begin. Few things have a strong ending, period. But being so goddamn down on stuff makes the creators feel like shit. It makes people not want to finish things. 

You know what’s worse than a character death you hate? A show/series never, ever having a conclusion, something just...drifting away. Like, I don’t super love the ending of Naruto. I actually really dislike it and what’s happened in the sequel. I don’t like most of what JKR has come out and said since the ending of HP. And I fucking hated the epilogue. Words cannot express how much I disliked it. 

Can you imagine the agony if those stories had never actually ended? If they had given up, halfway through? Good god, it’d be awful, just awful. The what if, the endless what if. Do you think people are going to love the end of Rebuild? Do you think it can possibly match the expectations that have been building all this time? Eva fans want it to be perfect; they want it to be exactly as good as they imagine. Is it any wonder why it’s been delayed so long? The whole damn thing is probably torture for Anno. Do you think the ending of One Piece is going to satisfy its millions of fans? Maybe, maybe not. And that world is so rich, so complex, so consistent, so deep. It still has to end, eventually. If it’s not everything you want it to be, will that sour all the joy it brought to you before? 

Can you name for me things that have met your expectations and exceeded them? things that ended as strong as their original promise, their beginning? 

endings are weird, always. Even great endings, there’s often something that feels unfinished. There’s always a let down, it’s just the way that stories are shaped. Eventually the plot twists and the motivations and the consequences have to end, the camera has to stop rolling. Things that feel flat or disappointing sometimes just feel that way because we don’t want things to end, or because we want things to go the way we’ve expected them to. Like, I remember being so disappointed in Revenge of the Sith. And yeah, some of that comes from I think valid criticism of the pacing and emotional depth of the story, but in the end, I’m glad to have had that story, I’m glad to have the prequels. Shitting on them endlessly, needlessly, doesn’t do a damn thing to change it. It only generates more negativity and shitty, reactionary behaviour and stifles creativity, and makes the people involved in the project feel like shit. It doesn’t feel great inside either, all that negativity. Like, what’s the fucking point?

And sometimes endings take a while to settle. Sometimes, it takes awhile to really understand that it was the only way a story could end. I loved the way Life on Mars ended, but I know my brother absolutely hated it. I didn’t like the way Fight Club ended when I first saw it, but it grew on me and now I cite it as a brilliant, brilliant ending. I hate the depressive way Rogue One ends, but that last sequence with Darth Vader is one of my favourite scenes in the Star Wars universe. I actually think Return of the King has a terrible ending, but I understand why Peter Jackson chose it and it still makes me cry. I don’t think having the scouring of the shire would elicited the same emotional reaction. Trainspotting has always been perfect though. I think Supernatural should have ended in season 5, but if it did, we wouldn’t have had the bunker, or Abaddon, or Charlie, or season 8, or the way Jared looks right now, or Sam’s like, complete mental torture since season 6. ...season 4?? And all that shit has been awesome, to varying degrees. All that shit has brought some enjoyment, even if mostly (for me) as fuel for fanfiction. ((It’s brought about other things, more negative and terrible as well. Supernatural fandom would not be this way had it ended in season 5 and the fandom is so goddamn abusive and toxic it’s hard to talk about the good points of the show without bringing that up. But that’s not the show itself per se.))

And yeah, things sometimes live way past their expiration date. I really hate when Sam and Dean have the same old conversation - I want my characters to change. But i also know that other people don’t feel the same way - they want Sam and Dean to always be SamandDean. Take FMA. I think Brotherhood is tighter, more cohesive story. I think the 2003 version is darker, less simplistic, but with a lot more strife between the characters. Which has better growth? The one with the deeper plot/conspiracy and triumphant, satisfying ending? Or the one with the heavier consequences for the individual characters and more ambiguous ending? I love me some Brotherhood, I love it a lot. But remember what happens to Scar and Liore in 2003? Remember who killed Winry’s parents? Remember the final fight with Sloth? Do you remember the final fight with Sloth? Holy shit, holy shit. So I thought Dante was kinda a weak villain. Is that the only thing that matters? 

Like....I’m pretty glad I live in a world with both versions. And I really cannot say which one is better, as each has their faults. Being needlessly critical of creative choices is just so exhausting and....well, childish.  

Youtube tried to recommend a vid about why Captain Marvel is going to cause the downfall of the MCU. And I’m like....????? it hasn’t even come out yet???? To be that critical before even seeing it?? It’s just plain misogyny  entitlement packaged up as ‘intellect’. 

No show is going to stay exactly the same. What RWBY was pre-volume 3 is impossible to return to: the world is different post-fall of Beacon. The structure of the characters world, their expecations, their security, their drives...it’s all different now. The show is bigger, has a bigger budget, has better animation. The story, with the world building and the multiple factions and a clearer look at the end game, is so beyond what it was at the start, where everything was new, where Cinder was still mystery and seemingly all-powerful, where we didn’t know what was possible in the world. Where a goddamn Nevermore was the biggest Grimm they’d ever seen. Where Monty was still alive. 

The show is going to be different. Different is not bad. Maybe they lost some of the potential but of course it’s going to, because it had to choose a path forward, it couldn’t stay exactly the same...! How could it have? I miss things about the early seasons a lot, but it worked because they could move the plot at a snail’s pace. Remember all those eps about Jaune being bullied? Remember all that shit with the dog and going to class and becoming friends. It was light-hearted and happy-go lucky and that made the action scenes pop and our favourite villain was campy and charismatic and not actually the one in control at all. Now we have darkness on all sides and the mysteries have been revealed for the dangers they actually are, and the emotional scenes and the connection between the characters and their resolve is the only thing that can push back against that darkness. Do I wish it was a little darker at times? Yes, yes I do. But it was always going to be a little simplistic. 

It’s a web-series about teenagers. Chill the fuck out, you aren’t entitled to shit. 

yes this is about Adam Taurus can you tell, if people couldn’t see it coming I don’t know what to tell you. If you couldn’t see it coming, we haven’t been watching the same show. 

[afraschatz]

Leverage - The Nigerian Job

It’s been a while since I watched “The Nigerian Job” and wow, what a joy to do that again. Because there are so many things I love about it. Here are just a few: I love...

... the introduction of Nate - so much exposition is needed and that’s always difficult to deliver without it seeming clunky and, well, like exposition, but Rubinek and Hutton just DELIVER.

... Dubenic. One of my favourite villains of them all. So fucking ruthless, he makes NATE seem like a choir boy in comparison, and that’s saying something.

... Nate’s reaction to “Steal them back”. Yes, he’s interested because of the money and because of wanting to stick it to his old boss, but that look? Yeah, Nate, keep kidding yourself. You WANT to be a thief ;)

... ‘No, but Parker is in-sane.’ And Nate’s look to accompany that, hahaha. Where is the lie.

... the music of this show. The intro music but also the signature “the game is on” music. I have it as my ringtone and my alarm and really, it’s just so awesome. Because right here at the start, a very dark and gritty start, the music sets the tone and tells us: This is gonna be a clever show and a fun show and KEEP WATCHING <3

... Hardison’s first words on the show being “No. No, no, no, no, hell no.”

... Hardison calling Nate ‘Brah’ and talking back at him right from the start

... “This is not the room you’re looking for.” - Also, I know that Hardison can’t possibly actually TELL this story to Nate and the others at this point, but we all know that he will eventually. And I LOVE that this is his mind’s go to story for being the ultimate hustler. Oh, Hardison, how I love you and your geeky priorities.

... “You can hear everything.” - “Not as useless as you look.” - Instant love. Also: HI ELIOT. And hi Eliot’s glasses. What happens to you later on? And seriously, Eliot, why did you decide to wear them for this job? I mean you clearly don’t need them, so is this a fashion choice? Where you reading while you were waiting for the others to set up?

...No but seriously, I LOVE the outfit choice for Eliot here and in the flashback. He looks like he just got up from a coffee with Sartre and Camus and I cannot stress enough how I LOVE how that (aside of course from being funny) already sets up how he is NOT just the muscle <3

...Eliot not even putting down his mug. Yes, he is that badass

...the baseball card

... “You can have the whole box” (Flirty!Hardison - and yes, of course he is fascinated and turned on by Parker instantly, but I think what I love most is how this is different to how he sees her later; he is overall more aggressive, edgy, pushy pre-team)

... “Age of the Geek, baby. We run the world.” - “Hm. You keep telling yourself that.”

... Thief.

... Parker’s flashback being so fucking DARK, even in comparison to Eliot’s who just put down 10 thugs

... the tell-tale ages of their flashback selves - Hardison the teenager, Eliot the adult, Parker the kid. Talk about what shaped you / who you are

...Eliot and Nate being professionals vs. Parker and Hardison being the brats <3

... Parker taking such obvious pleasure in her work

... Nate’s background images being the cold blue schematics

... Hardison being SO TURNED ON by Eliot’s speed / his efficiency / his dislike of guns (love the emptying of the magazine) / his smile

... that shared smile when the door opens. STOP IT, YOU GUYS

... Nate’s I-am-in-command-here voice. Later on he uses that to play generals and higher ups - his favoured role aside from ‘the annoying one’ - but here it’s no game, no play acting. This IS Nate right now

... technically that would be Plan G

...the OT3 working so perfectly together during the burn-scam sequence

...the almost-morning-at-the-end-of-an-obviously-fucking-cold-night atmosphere when they split. Talk about symbolism here. And lovely light

... Dubenic. Seriously. He dupes us, the viewers, fair enough. But he also does this with Nate, Parker, Eliot, AND Hardison. And can we just take a moment and appreciate that because we know how insanely smart they are. - And there is just that HINT of Dubenic playing them in the way he picks up his cup and sips, like he has no care in the world

... the way Hardison holds his gun

 ... the fact that Eliot hasn’t taken it away from hm yet. Because sure, he could. But he actually WANTS Hardison to BELIEVE him, doesn’t he

...Hardison and Parker having brought guns. Which makes sense. Eliot not bothering. Which also makes sense. But Nate? He just doesn’t give a fuck at this point, does he? Dangerous man, he who has nothing left to lose. And that maniac’s laughter when he figures it out? Holy shit, there is something very, very wrong with him

... Eliot helping Hardison up (already the protector <3)

... the reason why Hardison fell in the first place - looking back to check where Eliot is <3<3

...the reflection of the fireblast on Nate’s face. The whole explosion. Damn, that is some fine pyro work there.

...Parker switching so effortlessly between razor-sharp logic and crazy aloofness

...the ever changing dynamic during that conversation in Hardison’s flat. Like, Hardison keeping Eliot from finally losing it and taking it on with Nate and all the other little shifts and changes. Like, Nate already knowing Eliot’s and Parker’s different priorities (Payback and Money / Money and Payback); Parker and Hardison being hooked straight away, Eliot being the cautious one

...Eliot’s FACE during Sophie’s acting

...Nate being so FASCINATED by Sophie

... that flashback - Nate, like the OT, has a very... interesting way of remembering things

...Parker’s super aggressive popcorn reading

... Eliot’s continued ‘Parker is crazy. CRAZY. Am I the only one seeing that?!’ Possibly, yes, Eliot

...Nigerians. I mean, not only is that THE con. But it’s also the con that works because it targets people too stupid to not know better. The fact that Nate uses that on Dubenic. Because they were double-crossed and now HE gets double-crossed with a con that he SHOULD have seen coming because no one in their right mind would buy Nate Ford trying to pull of the ACTUAL Nigerian Scam

...Sophie just walking out on Dubenic

...Eliot’s outfit as an IT expert. That is so offensive, Eliot, even BEFORE the Klingon. I love you. Also? I love the reaction of the secretary as he walks in. Like, damn, he’s fine. She’s not wrong

... the bridge in the background of Sophie’s and Dubenic’s scene outside. God, that is SUCH a perfect metaphor and so pretty

... “I take it to Pierson.” - Sophie is not just a great actress, this little decision here already shows how she will have no problem taking over from Nate when he is in prison

... the Eliot/Nate conversation at the pool table. Easily my favourite scene of the whole episode. I wrote about how I love all the characters’ relationships in an earlier entry (http://afraschatz.tumblr.com/post/175521619189/afraschatz-i-think-the-reason-why-i-love), but Eliot’s and Nate’s is one of my favourites. And this scene breaks my fucking heart EVERY time. I want to be angry at Nate for being so harsh to Eliot reaching out and I want to weep for him at the same time. And Eliot. Oh, Eliot. All of the others so wrapped up in the current con (and Nate in his pain) that they can’t see what he can already sense and what he already sees and understands. Why else would the hitter, the “I work alone” man, Moreau’s former right hand man reach out like that? This isn’t the hitter checking whether the insurance man might turn on him /them; this isn’t even the man set out for revenge trying to make sure that the mastermind behind the plan can focus properly. This already is Eliot caring. And Nate being unable to accept that at this point. Ah, I love them so much

... the hospital flashback. Oh Tim Hutton <3...

... Sophie and the earpiece. Sure, Sophie, you need help. Sure.

... locked up comedy frame. Hardison hahahaha. Love that chair-roll

... Dubenic’s smug expression in the elevator

... “I can take your underpants”

... “This particular project has a different revenue stream” - Ah, eloquent!smug!Nate

...Sophie’s reaction to the HUGE cheque. Like, WHAT?!

...Hardison starting to explain what he did - I kinda wanted him to continue explaining that to me because a. maybe he could actually shed some light on some stock stuff that I really don’t get and b. competence porn

...Eliot wanting to kiss Hardison :)

...the slow round-and-round of the camera during the team’s talk outside. I need to write a separate LONG post about how great the camera work on this show is

... Eliot looking at Hardison while Hardison waits for Nate to suggest that they should do that again, then, when Nate doesn’t, immediately trying to get his defences back up and his hopes down. Oh, Eliot <3

... Black king, white knight. Aside from me being very much in love with Sophie’s SHAMELESS flirting (and Nate’s reaction to that), this is such a pretty description and fits him so well

... that last scene and the way they stand / sit. I mean, man, thank you, Sophie, for being kind to the victims while the rest of your team plays a very weird mashup of Reservoir Dogs and Godfather in the background

... NATE, YOU ARE SO CREEPY, I LOVE YOU.

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E12  Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 487 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

RATE THE EPISODE 481 Responses

The final episode of the first half of S3 was another banger with positive reactions. Compared to earlier in the season when manga readers seemed more dissatisfied with the adaptation, we are happy to see that the final episodes of the arc turned out to be a much more positive experience!

Considering this episode was essentially just the calm before the storm, I was pleasantly entertained by it. Not the best episode because not a whole lot happened, but still it did what it needed to do.

I was super worried they would change something in this episode but thank Ymir-sama it's okay.

IT WAS AWESOME AND THAT ENDING IS ONE OF THE BEST THING THIS ANIME HAS EVER MADE!

This episode was so good! And funny! And angsty at the end! All the ingredients that make a good AOT episode

Very good, the preview was spooky and the whole episode had humor to lighten the mood, some emotional stuff and High Anxiety Cliffhangers to finish us off. Its gonna be a long 6 months.

HOW WOULD YOU RATE THE FIRST HALF OF SEASON 3 AS A WHOLE? 481 Responses

Overall, the first half of season three was satisfying for manga reading poll takers despite the changes.

All in all, absolutely stunning season. From the bottom of my heart, thank you WIT.

It was a really good episode. It followed manga perfectly. Every ep. of Uprising should has been like that. Too bad it wasn't, that why I rated the whole series pretty lowly. Honestly, I expected something better. But that was fine, not the worst. Yet, I would have changed a lot.

Really good way to end this half of the season. Can't wait to see the next half. It was nice to see a "calm before the storm" episode.

It was a brilliant idea to end the first part of season 3 right there, by doing this we were given proper construction to this arc.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SEASON TAKING A BREAK UNTIL APRIL? 481 Responses

About 37% of respondents are sad to see the anime take a break, but nearly half of voters are fine with the break stating that it’s not too bad of a wait, with some who are even looking forward to the breather for a bit (we’re looking forward to having a good rest as well although we will miss the anime!).

I'm okay with it since it means that we will a get a really well made RtS arc. But they really should've said that the break was going to be this long earlier. Or just called it season 4

Waiting is something we SnK fandom know how to do, unfortunately

As a manga reader it's easy to not be too upset since we'll have plenty of chapters during that time.

It's nice to get a breather before shit hits the fan.

I don’t mind waiting 6 months when I know it means the animation will look a lot nicer as a result

I feel like i would have been less upset if they just told us from the start how its gonna be... I hated the uncertainty

If it means a fantastic second cour then I'm all for it. I mean my life is empty and I wish I were dead, but other than that I've accepted it!

6 months for preparing myself to let Erwin rest in peace

I AM NOT READY FOR RTS THIS IS LITERALLY THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO A HIATUS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WIT

WAIT Studio

Does Annie have some space next to her for the next 6 months?

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SCENES WERE YOUR FAVORITES? 480 Responses

The Survey Corps’ sendoff was the most favorite moment of the episode, followed closely by Eren and Jean’s nostalgic fight. Levi and Erwin’s talk after the meeting made it to third most favorite scene of the episode, followed closely behind by Eren, Armin and Mikasa’s conversation. Everyone losing their minds over meat was another favorite.

Erwin was so perfect, I loved his little laugh, I thought the whole interaction with him and Levi was done so well... god, I'm gonna miss him so much, it actually hurts.

Good breather episode, comedy gold with the dinner scenes, and the send-off was just as fun as it was touching. Also, the extra scene was creepy and great, but I hope anime-only watchers don't spoil themselves trying to find the meaning to it...

I think they did a really good work with the Erwin x Leviv talk, and EMA talk... Since enfatizing Erwin's reasons, and showing Armin's, It became more clear Levi's choice in future

I loved EMA talk... it made me pretty sad because of the events which now are taking place in the manga. That was good to see them together in the anime.

My Eruri shipping heart was in tatters, I tell you. I've been looking forward to the ""I'll break your legs"" scene for ages now, and shit, watching it was a literal punch to the gut. Erwin's beautiful roar of victory on the wall, his final ""SUSUME"" just... I was in awe.

Sasha nomming on Jean’s hand was even funnier animated

The 104th dinner scene was just perfect! It's been so long since we had a scene of such warmhearted camaraderie, it really brought back all my season 1 feels for the babies. Beautifully done.

Overall great Episode, really liked how they foreshadowed Erwins Demise and his conversation with Levi, EMA talk was great too, and the serumbowl scene made for an amazing cliffhanger

DID THE GLITCHED ENDING SCARE YOU? 483 Responses

The abrupt reminder that SNK is a horror anime definitely seemed to work!  The majority of people were scared by the ending at least a little bit, and some were thoroughly terrified.

"Blink and you'll miss it" my a**

Honestly it reminded me of how horrid the show actually is. I forget it's not all cute and funny scenes with a tinge of "yikes" that happened, but instead vice versa

I knew it was coming in the ED but didn't know WHEN and I was just anticipating it like a dark corridor in a horror movie XD

Moreso that scare me, it got under my skin and just stayed in my head the rest of the day.

Scare is not the right word. The option I'm looking for is FUCKING WRECKED

I learned that apparently a lot of you watch shit alone in the dark. But to answer the question, no, not at all.

It thrilled me to see them cleverly setting up the next half of the season this way

Only the Levi's distorted "you guys". The glitched ending was awesome

I saw some screencaps of it prior to watching so I was somewhat prepared but it was way creepier than i thought it would be, it spooked me

It wasn't actually SCARY, but I fucking loved it. So twisted and creepy

rip ears in that ending, it makes for some great youtube reactions though lol

Well, mark me down as scared and horny

SHOULD ZACKLEY’S ART BE REALIZED? 478 Responses

We suppose the real question is, when will Zackley’s “art” stop becoming something we ask about? :P All in all, most of you agree that it should not be seen or talked about. 21% of you are still finding humor in it.

HOW MUCH DID YOU ENJOY THE SEQUENCE OF EREN AND JEAN FIGHTING? 483 Responses

Most of the viewers enjoyed Eren and Jean’s antics with 84% rating the scene with a 4 out of 5 or higher. 

Mikasa letting them fight and not dragging Eren way is the best part! It's such an important character development for her. Also this Episode was full of parallels to their training days. Great episode.

Eren and Jean bringing the Drama™ (as expected of Eren and Jean)

THE SURVEY CORPS HAS NEVER EXPERIENCED A SEND-OFF LIKE THEY DID IN THIS EPISODE - FAVORITE PART OF THIS SCENE? 481 Responses

The surreal experience of getting a positive send-off like this made Erwin’s smile and shout the overwhelming winner here, and for good reason!  A smaller portion of respondents enjoyed Springlestein being themselves and a few called out Levi’s face in the comments:

All of it. Because it will be the first and the last time we'll see it

YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Levi looking at screaming Erwin like "WTF Erwin"

Hange smile

LEVI'S SOFT LOOK

I like the manga version better because Levi's smile was softer there

Levi's expression when Erwin did his triumphant shout.

literally everything about it was perfect

WOULD YOU LET LEVI BREAK YOUR LEGS? 480 Responses

While 58% of respondents cannot understand why anybody would want their legs broken by Levi, a small percentage were even asking for it.

THE EPISODE WENT EXACTLY AS THE ORIGINAL MANGA! 478 Responses

So, the story behind this one is that one of the pollsters posted this “question” on our original document as a joke while another one of us was at work. When the one at work got off, they put the question onto the poll form while the person who created the “question” was not online, not realizing it was meant to be an unpublished joke. This was completely overlooked during the final proofread. It was never actually intended to make it onto the poll but since one of us always tries to rush through things, here we are! In any case, we hope you guys had a good laugh, because we all collectively lost it when we realized the mistake much too late!

wow y'all throwin shade with this Q huh

Yes, it is Erwin's birthday celebration after all

Glad that Erwin and the crowd’s screaming was a ‘dialogue’ and that he screamed again.

Makes sense, given how its purpose is to set up the new arc. Not much need to leave things out for the sake of pacing.

They done it so perfectly! I love that episode and love the hope in the air, my man similing and being happy, I love they see people cheering for them. THAT was earned.

It still modified some moments like Armin thinking of Eren and Mikasa instead of the bullies in the manga. Maybe it's better and more consistent with the following events.

Thanks God! The whole series should has been this way. Compared to the sad 1st episode of Uprising, this one was a true masterpiece.

u people need to get the salt in your blood checked, let others be dissatisfied with something they care about? please and thanks

i don't care if it went exactly as the original manga or with some changes as long as the episode is good

THE CHAPTER SIGNIFIED THE START OF A NEW ARC, BUT THE ANIME USED IT TO END THE FIRST COUR, WAS THIS A BENEFICIAL DECISION? 478 Responses

The majority of folks thought shifting the send-off to the end of the cour to create an uplifting cliffhanger was a good way to end the season.  Several people called attention to how much contrast was felt between such a positive ending and the credits scene.

I think it works great, especially the triumph of the send off and the "oh shit, what's happening" moment in the ED

should have been the first ep of the next arc, with the send off as the cliffhanger

It was a nice, fun send off for the arc. Has the suspense of the scouts going towards the foes. The next episode with the next chapter/s will be perfect for getting back into the series after 6 months

WAIT Studio used it as an effective cliffhanger but from an adaptation perspective it's just like the Wall Titan. Something to keep the audience's attention at the cost of the narrative's flow. If the season was going to be split then rushing the Uprising Arc at breakneck speed resulting in one extra episode was pointless.

The opening of 73 is a perfect opening for the second cour, so I knew from the beginning of the season that ending in this chapter would be their aim. The second half won't struggle for content, and they can either push ahead flashbacks (I expect some of Bert's parts from 96 making it into the adaptation of 77) or content that didn't make it in the first half used to extend other parts (Eren's experiments for Armin realizing how to beat Bert in 81)

I think this will help the second part by being on the way to Shiganshina to start it off.

Heck cliffhangers!

LEVI WASN’T EXPLICITLY SHOWN EAVESDROPPING UNTIL THE END OF EMA’S CONVERSATION, DO YOU THINK THIS DIMINISHED THE FORESHADOWING? 478 Responses

The vast majority of respondents agreed that as long as we saw him listening to them, that’s ultimately all that matters. A small few believe that not showing him listening in on them earlier will diminish the overall impact when he makes his decisions later, however.

I don't think it matters, especially if the anime includes a flashcut to this moment post-decision, which will make its important even more obvious for viewers who may not remember this scene at all.

I'm not sure, I guess it did seem more ambiguous here. They'll flashback to it when serumbowl happens though.

Wouldn’t have spent more time on it. This show is about subtle details. I think its ok.

It still worked, but I would have liked it to have been made clear that he saw Armin's expression when he was talking about the ocean

No, but i think it was nice in the manga to see that at the beginning of the conversation he was standing and ended up on the floor by the end of it. Small detail, but i took it like he didn't mean to listen in the beginning but decided to stay in the end because of what he was hearing?

No, because it was a detail it meant a lot more. Subtle details have greater impact in visualities, manga is a different medium and the scene was used properly for its medium.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WIT SHOWING *THAT PART* OF THE RTS ARC AS A TEASER? 480 Responses

38% of respondents believe that the teaser was a great way to keep interest in the series high. 20% specifically feel that it will keep the anime only fans invested. About 21% of respondents combined don’t think it was the smartest choice on WIT’s end while almost 10% are just not ready to see that animated at all.

Even though I already know what will happen, my body *isn't* ready for this shit to come, except for the lightning spears

Honestly, I thought it was stupid as fuck and a cheap way to keep hype up for anime-only people. I would've preferred my anime-only friend to go into RTS completely blind.

I think it's great because it lends itself a lot of hype for the next half as well as leaving it very open ended. Especially because they cut out lines about the serum.

I think this teaser shocked more the manga readers than the anime onlines.

It's the worst part of the manga they could spoil. I'm not sure what they intend to do by showing such a controversial moment

It was brilliant. Anime only watchers don't often get the experience of agonizing over certain cliffhangers monthly, but with this flashforward looming in their head, they have a whole season of suffering ahead of them. SUFFER LIKE US, ANIME ONLIES!

I really liked it but I think they could have shown a part of Bert/Reiner/Zeke’s convo since we saw Bert and Reiner at the end of the episode, and it would have anime-onlies wondering who the glasses guy is

I was shocked and hyped at seeing them include this scene, but at the same time I’m sad that anime-onlies were spoiled that at the very least Mikasa, Eren, and Levi will survive until this scene, destroying any tension of them dying

I'm really conflicted; on one hand, I was very surprised in a positive way, cause it was a ballsy and unexpected move. On the other hand, I understand that anime viewers might be sick of spoilers bc of the scene at the beginning of ep1.

It gave me anxiety lol. Please someone save my babies from their horrible destiny

One hell of a cliffhanger and I can't really imagine anything better to show everything going wrong (Colossal nuke is way too obvious, for example), but the people complaining about spoilers do have a point...

WHAT ARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR RTS’S ADAPTATION? 480 Responses

WHAT SEGMENTS OF RTS ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING ANIMATED NEXT COUR? 481 Responses

Over half of respondents feel that the Return to Shiganshina arc will be delivered just as well as Uprising was. 37% of respondents feel it will be much better than Uprising’s adaptation. A small few don’t have much faith in the second half of the four.

FUCK ME UP!! R.I.P. ANIME ONLIES

GIMME THE 2ND COUR NOW!

I don't know if I'm emotionally prepared for this arc

I’m going to have 6 more months to mentally prepare myself for the return to shiganshina arc and I still won’t be ready

from an adaptation perspective it's going to be the same as the previous seasons. WAIT Studio excels at certain aspects of packaging SnK into anime, but as a whole it's a bad, rather than amazing, adaptation.

Is there a "NOPE I am not ready for RtS arc" in the questions?

WHAT SEGMENTS OF RTS ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING ANIMATED NEXT COUR? 481 Responses

The most anticipated segment of the Return to Shiganshina arc is the suicide charge + Levi totally wrecking Zeke. Following closely behind are the basement reveal, the serumbowl, Grisha’s diaries and flashbacks, the ocean and the showdown with the 104th and Reibert. 

Kill me! I cannot believe I have to wait 6 months for RTS. 6 months until I can see Reiner and Bertholdt in action and the FREAKING BASEMENT!!!! I was fine with a 3 months break but 6 is too much ;____; I want to see Grisha's past animated

What everybody is waiting for the RtS Arc: the basement, Reibert fight, Levi soloing the beast titan, the ocean. Me, an intellectual: THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS THUNDER SPEARS (and Grisha's backstory)

can't wait to see historia looking graceful as hell in front of the sunrise while the SC goes off to fuck reibert and zeke up

The only thing I can think about is Zeke.... *screams* ZEKE AND EREN! THE JAEGERBROS! AND THE GRISHA FILES! SO MANY JAEGERS *dies*

I'm definitely looking forward to RTS okay, but I'm dreading it more, honestly. But the one thing I'm looking forward to, and really hoping they'll animate, is Levi taking down those Titans on the way to Zeke. I know the focus is on Erwin's last charge in the manga, and rightly so, but DAMN, I want to see Levi do that -I honestly don't think anyone, even Mikasa, could do what he did there.

I have a fever, and the only prescription is Season 3 Part 2

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

A pretty decent choice for a midseason finale. But most important, a pretty good choice for episode 49. Once we're back in April, the series will be celebrating having made it to 50 episodes. Just 2 years ago, we were wondering if we'd ever get episode 26, and now we're getting to a landmark episode that will be exciting and memorable! Nothing between chapters 70-72 could've worked as such a landmark, in my opinion, but chapters 73-74? Absolutely perfect for it.

And my ship finally got some screen time

But damn wit... I almost got a heart attack because of the glitched ending!! Please, I at least want to survive to see manbun Eren animated

For anime watchers: I enjoyed watching your confusion over that ED. May you all be prepared by April 2019.

My heart is filled with so much Eruri that I may cry. You could literally see how much concern Levi had for Erwin in his eyes.

I love Bertoto and Raina more than myself. Guess, I'll die in April.

I'm an Erwin Lover™ and the show is gonna come back right around my birthday so this was Great and I'm Fine

It was out of character to see Eren fully clothed.

The moment when SC were cheered up and Erwin was so confident and happy and then they left into the sunset gave me goosebumps and almost made me cry :') it was a beautiful, strong, encouraging moment for SC!!

Let me just tell you how fucking HYPED I am for the next season after those previews during the ED. HYPED. And Jesus fuck yes, Armin looked like a charred French fry that got left behind in the oil. THANK JESUS. I was afraid WIT might downplay that, but no, my boy gonna be the CRONCHIEST.

The glitches were great and not too spoiler-y but WIT absolutely ruined it with the Eren/Mikasa/Levi scene. They showed too much.

rip ears in that ending, it makes for some great youtube reactions though lol

Erwin looked fine as fuck

Wit, you better be paying for my doctor visit. My ears were bleeding with your little trick you pulled at the end.

This episode. THIS FUCKING EPISODE. Man what a way to end the cour. REALLY, standing ovation to WIT. That glitch ending was just like that tiny Titan-in-the-wall scene at the end of season 1 that made me go looking for the manga. Absolutely brilliant stuff.

Thanks for these polls.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 446 Responses

Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please keep your eyes peeled for an upcoming Uprising Arc poll!

[brazenautomaton]

I wanna talk about power sets in superpowered movies in general, so it’s relevant to more than just the one person talking about Marvel’s Sailor Moon with me. I’ll make a reply for that separately. I think it’s an interesting thing and part of visual storytelling that people are kind of afraid to talk about for fear of being a turbonerd.

Battle scenes are important to a superhero movie, its plot and its emotional arc. They’re The Thing Superheroes Do, and it affirms their identity. A character’s super-powers and fighting style is part of their characterization, even if it doesn’t perfectly map to their personality. A generic power set on a superhero with a great personality is like a charismatic romantic lead who switches to a dull monotone during the love scene.

We need to be able to recognize the power set, it needs to be distinct, we need to be able to form expectations about it so we can be validated or surprised, it needs to have room to grow. Why are Spidey fights cool? We know he has a power set he can use in clever ways and he will do so. Why is Scarlet Witch lame? Her powers are so poorly defined it makes her a poorly defined character regardless of her expressed feelings. Why was I disappointed in Black Panther’s fight scene more than anything? Because his kinetic EX Burst was the thing he had that made him unique and he didn’t highlight it at all. Why did Wonder Woman shit the bed? It turned into a formless superhero slugfest with no stakes or meaning that expressed nothing.

Okay, so, like, one complaint about Infinity War is invalidates Thor: Ragnarok, which was an awesome movie. And that’s somewhat valid. But part of the complaint is “Thor lost Mjolnir and moved beyond it and realized he wasn’t the God of Hammers. Then in IW, his first prirority is to get a new hammer. (Also he gets a bionic eye after having his eye ripped out.)

Well, the eyepatch prop was a pain in the ass for Thor’s actor to wear. And let’s look at what he can do when he has Mjolnir: He’s strong and durable, but every superhero is and we expect that. He can bonk people with the hammer, or throw it at them, and we expect that too. He can crank the hammer to build momentum and then super-jump, which is visually distinct from how other heroes fly. He can throw the hammer at someone, move, and recall the hammer back to his new position to attack another enemy from behind. He can gingerly drop his hammer into or onto another enemy to incapacitate it because they are not “worthy” and cannot lift it. His hammer can track his location from great distances and make visually interesting scenes like in the fight in Thor 2, that whole thing was awesome, I don’t care how bad you thought the movie was. Anything that causes him or the hammer to gain momentum will believably cause his attack to gain force, in a way we understand without being told. I think he also ground-pounds with it to make a shockwave but I may be misremembering.

Now what do we see him do as Thunderstrike, the hammerless Thor? He’s strong and durable like we expect. He can conjure bolts of lightning from the sky to strike his enemies. He can directly throw bolts of lightning at his enemies. He can spray lightning from his body in every direction to hit many enemies. Any increase in the power of his attack has to be something we can’t see, unless he dunks them in water. 

There’s more things you can do with “lightning guy” (I should hope so) but it takes more expansion. It’s easy to see why they gave him a hammer back. I was surprised during Ragnarok that they showed him being so clever with Mjolnir and then took it away for a power set that he wasn’t as clever with.

Power sets can be pieces of equipment, obviously. That’s Iron Man, but it’s also Captain America (with his shield). Cap’s shield can be used to bash, it can block attacks, it can deflect attacks, it can be thrown and returned, it can be chain-bounced to multiple enemies. Those make him feel unique. A major problem with the Captain America side of the universe (in particular when crossovers get involved) is that it’s more of a Jason Bourne kind of thing, and everyone is a lot closer to “dude with guns”. If you don’t let them do their unique thing, they feel generic. Another part of why the Wakanda fight in Infinity War was the worst part of the movie. 

Cap without his shield may give stirring speeches like Cap but he doesn’t fight like Cap. Bucky Barnes is made distinct from Generic Supersoldier by his bionic arm, so that dude needs to be fucking grappling around like Nathan “Radd” Spencer, the Bionic Commando. Falcon is interesting when he’s fighting while using his drones, and not interesting when he’s Flying Guns Guy. Black Widow has a problem because she has no super powers or super gear, but is still a super hero, so she really needs to Not Be Fighting Like Other Supers. Iron Man 2 showed this at the best -- she’s a fast, nimble grappler who focuses on disabling -- but then she’s had problems Doing Her Thing against nonhuman enemies. She should probably be a sneaky rogue! If you’re setting a fight in a place with no cover and perfect sight lines where you can’t be a sneaky rogue, that’s your clue that you should not do that! (Everyone making any media involving fighting should play XCOM!)

Unfortunately there aren’t a lot of non-MCU examples to bring up in film for the examples of super power sets, because Marvel was the only one competent enough to get so many super-characters in the same context without kneecapping their own efforts. Also I have seen all the MCU because at worst they’re “all right”, but shit like Fant4stic I stayed away from like it was radioactive. I’d imagine Fant4stic has problems with this too. Wonder Woman’s finale certainly did, and Batman vs Superman had some underneath the other dumb things. Do not tell me “Oh, Worm is great about this!” I am not reading Worm. 

But if you think about it it’s not really just a superhero thing. It’s just of paramount importance to a superhero story. A fight scene, an action sequence, that’s still part of the story involving the characters. It should be doing something. All fight scenes should have stakes and context and rules, and this is just a part of that: what are the rules of what the character can do, and what is the context of the character who is doing it? How is it a thing this character does?

A fight should allow you to track the action, know what is going on, and form expectations about it so you can be validated or surprised. It should also let you know who it’s happening to! James Bond, John McClane, and Jason Bourne all take out dudes with guns, but they feel different. Bond is cool and composed (or if he’s not, that’s a sign Oh Boy These Things Are Serious) and on top of things. McClane is desperate but resourceful. Bourne is efficient and, well, blurry. 

I’m rambling. I’m probably just retreading some established old concepts that everyone already knows. But does anyone who doesn’t already know them agree with me?

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 64

64: The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

Written by: Matthew Hodgson Directed by: Brad Falchuk

Overall Thoughts: The New York arc comes to a close, and it does so decently. It’s an enjoyable episode with some fun music, some pretty hilarious scenes, and it properly concludes most of the stories that they’d introduced for this arc. Still, there are things I have a hard time with – the Samcedes break up in particular. Let’s get into it.

What I Like:

That Kurt and Blaine are actually allowed to have a conversation about their relationships and the fact that Blaine lied to Kurt. I don’t really like that Kurt took some of the blame, but Blaine was fully apologetic, and not in the way that he was when he admitted he cheated – genuinely apologetic, taking the full blame, not insinuating at all that anything Kurt did led him to this. Character development, anyone?

Sam having the opportunity to cheat on Mercedes and not taking it. Not only that, but thinking that another woman kissing him was cheating. As much as I have frustrations with his character, particularly when it comes to his views on sex and how everyone encourages those views, he is a sweetheart.

Kurt and Blaine proving June wrong about Kurt.

Rachel standing up for herself and her future (terrible) TV show.

The whole scene with the script, except for one part, which I’ll mention in a bit.

Mercedes going on a mall tour and taking Brittany and Santana with her and already having a group of people following her and excited to see her perform. It’s what she deserves.

Rachel is so adorably excited about her TV show.

What I Don’t Like:

That a fantasy script sequence shows Blaine and Brittany being more intimate with each other than they are ever allowed to be with their actual love interests. Also, the “mostly lesbian” line.

While I get that Kurt is in his right to be angry that Blaine lied to him, it does concern me a little bit that he has such a physically violent reaction. We’ve seen this only once before, when he kicked that chair over in season 1, which makes me think this is just a director thing (even though the episodes weren’t directed by the same person) and not actually a character thing, but it’s still a bit concerning. Kurt, you should be able to express your anger without hitting/kicking things.

The fact that they had Sam and Mercedes break up by Mercedes essentially saying “it isn’t fair for me to ask you not to fuck other women, so go do that”. Seriously, this entire storyline was so dragged down by the idea that men literally cannot survive without sex. I would have much preferred that they break up because they will be separated for a long time and their relationship is still fairly new. Instead we have Mercedes basically saying “Yo, Sam, go fuck all the girls you want, and then when I’m ready we can get married” like, what? ALSO Sam saying “no matter who I’m with or what I’m doing, just know I’d rather be doing it with you” aw how sweet that you’re going to fuck another girl and think of Mercedes while you do it like that’s not totally disrespectful to both Mercedes and the other girl? Think of the girl you’re with, damn Sam. But of course it’s played off as super romantic because Hollywood. Seriously, why does Hollywood think that a guy is going to literally die if he doesn’t have sex? Do they not know how harmful that is? How many women suffer because of men who think they are owed sex because they’re men and therefore they have Needs? Jesus Christ (I’m feeling particularly strongly about this right now because of the attack in Toronto that happened for exactly this reason, and it’s just so avoidable and unnecessary. Fuck).

Aaaaaaaand once again Artie has literally nothing to do.

Glee did so well with avoiding the quirky, special snowflake character right until now. Why, writer lady? Why?

Songs:

Shakin’ My Head: The song is so dancey and fun but the lyrics are so strange haha

All of Me: A nice duet, though I do feel it goes on a bit long.

Girls on Film: Kind of a weird one. I don’t know how I feel about the aesthetic of it.

Glitter in the Air: I mean, I get this is that writer lady’s first time hearing Rachel sing, but it isn’t mine, and these power ballads of hers just ain’t as powerful as they used to be. Sorry, honey.

No Time at All: Too long as well, and kind of unnecessary. I wish they’d just done part of it, like maybe the end? I don’t know.

American Boy: I was skeptical when they released that this was going to be one of the songs in this episode, but it ended up being really good!

Pompeii: A great finale song! Sam in particular sounds awesome on it, and that scene where he goes back to McKinley always gets me all emotional, even though he’s only been gone from McKinley for like 7 episodes.

Final Thoughts: It’s a fun episode, but the way the Samcedes break-up is dealt with really brings it down for me. I felt they deserved better than “It’s too hard for Sam not to have sex”, especially after all they’d been through. Other than that, though, it’s a decent season finale, and sets up next season in an okay way (aside from leaving Klaine on such a good note only to pull the rug out from under us in episode one of the next season).

[apicturewithasmile]

LOST rewatch (season 6)

[follow the entire rewatch-tag here]

episode 1 & 2 – LA X:

Desmond looking good as always

I don’t like the “the island is underwater” sequence. Such an obvious red herring.

“Why didn’t he fight back? Why did he let me just kill him?”

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”

“We can go Dutch.”

Still not a fan of the Indiana Jones hippie temple

“I don’t like the way English tastes on my tongue.”

“You’re the monster.” – “Let’s not resort to name calling.”

STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BABY JOHN LIKE THAT!

episode 3 – What Kate Does:

GET CREEPY ETHAN OUT OF THERE!

It’s Claire Rousseau

episode 4 – The Substitute:

Okay this is when the real feels begin!

Helen, I love you!

I’d give a lot to be able to talk to Terry O’Quinn while he’s taking a bath tbh…

I feel for Richard

There it is… the weirdest damn funeral Frank Lapidus has ever been to

“John Locke was a believer, he was a man of faith, he was a much better man than I will ever be and I’m very sorry I murdered him.”

I cannot believe James just walked down this ladder of death

JOHN’S ABOUT TO MEET DR. LINUS!!!

“Tea? Now there’s a gentleman’s drink.”

episode 5 – Lighthouse:

Oh course…. Sideways Jack has a son, totally forgot that

I kinda… don’t give a frick about Jack and his son tbh – not that that’s a surprise

“That’s not John, this is my friend.”

episode 6 – Sundown:

Sideways Sayid looks sweet and cute whereas island Sayid just looks hot as fucking hell

Fucking Martin Keamy

Ben’s fucking terrified of Sayid

episode 7 – Dr. Linus:

Oh my God, it’s happening!

Dr. Linus is a beautiful human being

“It’s Dr. Linus, actually.”

“Taking care of the kids, that’s what’s important!”

I AM HERE FOR THE HIGHSCHOOL AU!!!

I love that sideways Ben can only fix up a microwave meal whereas island Ben cooks that mean ham

HIS GLASSES ARE SO SWEET, they make him look so kind and… not dangerous at all

Alex <3

A rare genuine smile from Benjamin friggin Linus!!!!

“Linus, you’re a real killer.”

Fuckin Smokey, stop using my children for your sick game!

Here’s comes the most emotional speech that’s ever happened on the entire show

“I watched my daughter Alex die in front of me and it was my fault. I had a chance to save her but I chose the island – over her. All in the name of Jacob. I sacrificed everything for him and he didn’t even care.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me because I can never forgive myself.”

Ben offering his help to Sun and Sun accepting it – HELP!!!

episode 8 – Recon:

The shirt Sawyer’s wearing looks like Richard’s shirt

I feel like Josh Holloway is less buff now than he was at the beginning of the show and I absolutely dig it!

“puppy dog eyes and a sad sunflower”

episode 9 – Ab Aeterno:

Fun story: the first time I watched Ab Aeterno was on Netflix and for some reason the subtitles didn’t work so throughout the entire episode I thought we weren’t supposed to understand the stuff that’s in Spanish

Ilana: So, Richard, what do we do next? – Richard: lol

His backstory is so tragic I’m gonna cry

Anyway, I know I say this about a lot of guys on LOST but… objectively speaking Nestor Carbonell is the most beautiful man on the whole show

I wonder if they’ve always planned for Richard to have come on the Black Rock

“It’s good to see you out of these chains.”

Titus Welliver has similar facial expressions to Terry O’Quinn which makes him perfect for playing the og Smokey

episode 10 – The Package:

Sun, my lovely wife

What is it with her and bumping her head against trees?

BEN FINDS HER!!!! I need Ben and Sun to be friends!!!!

I am so here for a Sun and Ben friendship. Give it to me now!!

I just remembered that Ben will kill Widmore and now I cannot wait!!!

Have I ever noticed that this is actual Mikhail Bakunin in the sideways?!?!

episode 11 – Happily Ever After:

Des, my bebe!!!

Of course Desmond is Charles Widmore’s protégé in the sideways

I love how Desmond’s sideways mission is to reunite everyone with the love of their lives

episode 12 – Everybody Loves Hugo:

Oh, Michael, of course, totally forgot about that

LIBBY MY DARLING!

Bye bye Ilana

Ben’s loyalty to Richard kills me

Dr. Linus protecting John Locke <3

episode 13 – The Last Recruit:

“John Locke was the only one of us who believed in this place.”

Ben going to the hospital with John <3

Season 6 Jack is really attractive

Wait… where’s Ben??

Jack really leaving Claire behind?!?!

Sun and Jin are reunited <3

episode 14 – The Candidate:

Honestly tho… Jack looks 10 times better and it’s all just because of that slight change of his hair style

I feel like I don’t have that much to say about season 6 because nothing really happens, like.. the island plot can pretty much be summed up in one sentence and the sideways are just fluff. I like the fluff but… well… to put it simple: there ain’t enough Ben fluff so I’m not that interested tbh

episode 15 – Across The Sea:

You know… it gets really hard to sympathise with Jacob after this episode. Not that I ever sympathised with him but… he just seems like the annoying dudebro in your modern literature seminar that just won’t shut the fuck up

“One day you can make up your own game and then everyone else will have to follow your rules.”

Mother: I made it so you can never hurt each other. – Jacob: *kills his brother*

Mother and Jacob pretending to love Smokey yet they never even bothered to give him a fucking name?!??!

episode 16 – What They Died For:

Ben hasn’t been on screen for three fucking episodes, where’s my murder cactus???

There’s Ben my bebe! Protecting his island husband!

And there’s Cusick’s miss-calculated punch that landed straight in Emerson’s pretty face

I cannot believe Ben remembers because Desmond is punching him

I kinda want more story surrounding Richard, Miles and Ben

Dr. Linus in the nurse’s office and John being soooo impressed

“Why would somebody hurt you? You’re like the nicest guy ever.”

DANIELLE!!!

I ship sideways Ben and Danielle very very much!!!

“You’re the closest thing to a father she’s ever had.” KILL ME!!!

Ben killing Widmore HELL YES!!!!

“He doesn’t get to save his daughter.”

ANA LUCIA!

episode 17 – The End:

Was Widmore the last person Ben kills? I can’t remember but I hope it is.

“Christian Shephard? Seriously?”

“This would be so sweet if we weren’t all about to die.”

JULIET!

“In case you haven’t noticed – I’m a pilot.”

SHANNON!!! I’ve missed you so much!

“You’re not John Locke. You disrespect his memory by wearing his face.”

Ben saving Hugo from the tree <3

YES KATE!!! “I saved you a bullet.”

The moment when John remembers hits me with very intense #feels

“If the island’s going down I’m going down with it.”

They cannot just mirror a shot of Michael Emerson and expect no one will notice

“I don’t believe in a lot of things but I do believe in duct tape.”

Sawyer and Juliet <3

“Ricky boy”

I always wonder if Jack turns into the new Smokey…. But like… a friendly Smokey.

NOT THE BEN IN FRONT OF THE CHURCH SCENE!!!

“Hello Benjamin.” FUUUUUUCK!

“I’m very sorry for what I did to you, John.”

“Well, if it helps, Ben, I forgive you.”

HURLEY ASKING BEN FOR HELP!!!

“Everybody dies sometime, kiddo.”

Christian LITERALLY says that everything that’s ever happened was real and somehow people still think they were dead the whole time????

Okay the final scene is so awesome tho

The fact that Vincent isn’t in the church can only mean that he is immortal

epilogue – The New Man In Charge:

YAAAASSSS!!!

This is how all of season 6 should have been like!

BEN LOOKS SO FUCKING HOT!!!!

The fact they transferred all the Dharma videos to DVD fills me with joy

“I’m genuinely sorry about that but what’s done is done. I can’t change the past. I can only take responsibility for it.”

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! give me season 7 all about how Hurley, Ben and Walt run the island!!!!

[morningmoon]

Saw DSoD

I love how the movie is built, it feels like there's a lot to discuss, in fact we had a pretty long debate about Kaiba’s fate on NAC’s discord. Kuwabara did an amazing job because a Lot of times the visual design of the movie conveyed messages alongside the script, helping make these high-concepts easier to understand. Him and Takahashi worked really great together, and all the animators on board made a great job with how sharp and beautiful the movie became. 

It's great, it was a very good, full story and I cannot wait to buy the bluray when it releases (to see the subs and catch whatever the dub couldn't convey) and see this again to enjoy it some more and catch more of the visuals. (Also Gaia looked very yuma-esque with his colors, nice.)

Under the cut some long ramblings

Dub-script: Felt pretty alright! There were some dialogue stuff (the eight millenium item!) that immediately pulled me out, but there were like two or three and very, very spread far in-between. Lots of added goofs but mostly just side-jabs, which honestly made the characters feel a bit fuller (my favorite has to be Tristan's "you're not crazy, you're just dumb" in the softest voice ever). There's a ton of high-concepts and it did an adequate enough job at presenting them, specially since most are told to us visually, but i'll touch on that later. Felt very true to the movie while keeping a tone similar to the original dub, kinda like Ocarina of Time 3D, it's not exactly the old thing bc the old thing has huge flaws, but it's how you'd remember it with its improvements. Yugi and Kaiba came out particularly well. I fucking loved Mokuba, I forgot that since thsi is the manga canon that means Mokuba is actually a good character. The story: Aigami ironically sorta has the problem Arc V has in which he is more of a walking theme than a villain, but his actions are so very important to everything, his motivations are crystal clear and relatable. Heck, you could make an argument that he shares the protagonist role along with Yugi, on the other side of the coin you can say that Kaiba is the protagonist. It's pretty interesting how Yugi is the only heroic dude here, but he gets the less amount of time because his character story is already told, so instead it's two extremely morally gray dudes with conflicting goals trying to do something for the wrong reasons. The expanded role Shadi gets was fairly surprising. I love that it turned out he was a ghost all along lol. Surprised that the evil/good item split wasn't used to explain away his questionable actions, he was just a friendly ghost who killed for good reasons. Guess it fits with the justice of the time. So the gift of prana was made possible thanks to him "defeating" death, pretty cool. I love, love that Prana Leaving is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and Aigami just gave reason for Atem to return and take it away. Super love the story, memories are such a big part of DM, so seeing it expanded as metaphysics and alternate worlds is a good-ass view. It's a good story, mostly playing with high-concepts and established characters. The prana stuff is overplayed since it's such a concept and a half for a 2 hour movie, but I love how firmly the rules are established and how they mesh with the journey our characters have had, particularly Jou being able to overcome the prana stuff thanks to his memory of Atem bringing his story full-circle, because despite being higher than humanity it still falls below the gods, below those who have truly ascended, thus even the memory of Atem is too powerful. The Visuals: really just gonna continue talking about the story next paragraph, but until then: the movie looks beautiful. The visual designs on everything look amazing, the expressions are lively, the movements are great, the colors were fantastic. The only thing I don't dig much is Anzu's designs, bit too waifu, but alas. Where the visuals truly shine is in telling the story. The opening shot just, god, just so good. I'm guessing the opening of it represents how memories can fade away to the light, to being forgotten, but the ones that persist make way for other memories to follow along and each is a world of its own. I want to link that to stories in general, the power of fiction is that to survive as memories, so while many get destroyed and become forgotten, those who survive make way to others, much like how the original yugioh manga survived being forgotten and allowed for an adaptation world to happen, and a world of Yugioh R, and the world/story of Gx, and its manga, and so on as the Yugioh franchise grows, but it's not even the start of that DNA sequence (also worlds that can survive being forgotten is the DNA of fiction itself, but that's just obvious given the way the worlds are presented) there were stuff before even the original yugioh story, such as what Takahashi used for inspiration. If Dragon Ball was in that DNA sequence, Journey to the West would be there as well above it, helping it survive and shaping it with what's forgotten and remembered of it. And after that metaphor we get the space bridge in the shape of the kaiba corp logo. lmao. There are so many visual things i'll probably just list them at random now: -There's one consistent element i just want to call "ascension", when golden particles happen to represent the powers of Prana, be it to teleport the kids or to send goons to other dimensions. And immediately after its first use we see the sands of egypt and yup, that's it, that's the whole thing, it's much like the sands of egypt, it gives shape to the land but it's not consistent, it changes and shifts and rapidly changes the landscape while it remains seemingly the same, it ascends like a pharaoh would. -Aigami vs Kaiba has one main element: Aigami's cards make the "ascension" happen to the crystal dragons, and it is so great even those seemingly timeless beings fall to it, because they are attached to this world's rules, then BEWD also falls to it, that is why Kaiba's deepest memory of holding power beyond mortals makes for a being greater than sand: stone. A stone so powerful it is above prana, and thusly the stone soldier of obelisk can defeat Diva's whole shenanigans even when they use this ascension to empower themselves or when they defy our laws by using cubes to make all sorts of curved shapes. -Aigami vs Yugi has the coolest representation of Aigami losing himself, with his final monster being much more man-made than anything else, it's just a creature with gears and a machine gun, no longer a being above humans. And Yugi so easily expects his anger it lets him play a triple combo that locks him into venting his rage to his own defeat. -Aigami vs Yugi and Kaiba has the latter two use a plague and technology to try and harm Aigami's creature, but it is too strong. It's also a good inverse, Kaiba is mostly tech-based but at that point he uses biological stuff to do harm and Yugi was more living-creatures-based but switches to technology, or rather progress. While Kaiba devolves in his desperate struggle, Yugi continues moving forward, which is important for what Kaiba does at the end. -Jou in his own memory world owns, the light destroying his memory ultimately falling to the power of his memory of dueling Atem at the end of Battle City is amazing. Having closure with Atem is such a good detail to show off. -Loved, loved LOVED that the space station/bridge was made just like the alcatraz island his dad had, just he uses it to go above war and such things and into a higher place. -ATEM LOOKED SO GOOD. He looked like his early manga self and that was amazing to see. Also just adding here, Takahashi's sequence looked awesome if overly detailed. -Loved how Atem's return makes things go normal by having all that "ascension" stuff go back to the ground, the sands of egypt return to how they should be instead of defying nature. Makes me think that the rain scene has a deeper meaning with how it's water that falls, but alas it eludes me. -Really dug the contrast with the darker "sand" stuff, showing seemingly straight-up death only by ring- oops, there's Kaiba. Going off to his techno-tomb, being sent from a place high-above to the ground, as he slowly dies but gets enough time to finally face Atem one last time, to get the memory he craves the most. He fucking dies, man. -Yugi says goodbye to another loved one who goes off to a place above. It's because she's leaving like Atem with going up to the heavens being another representation of the afterlife you guys. The score: was alright, pretty neat here and there.

[lifeonashelf]

CHIODOS

It’s nearly impossible to expound on the “process” of writing without coming across like a self-important shithead. I only mention this because I’m about to attempt to do the former without doing the latter. Though I’ve maybe already hamstrung myself by referring to the act of pressing buttons on a laptop as a “process”—and I certainly haven’t helped my case by putting quotation marks around “process,” nor by using the word “expound.” Come to think of it, that “nor” is also ringing awfully pompous to me, even if in a technical sense “nor” was the grammatically correct word to use there... And there I go informing you what’s “grammatically correct,” which makes me sound like a total asshole.

Nevertheless, making this text be a thing is indeed contingent on a sequence of mental formulation and ritualistic preparation and elementary discipline, and when you put all of those things together, the noun which most accurately describes the result is indeed “process” (I consulted my thesaurus for a less ostentatious term, but only an officious wanker would describe writing as a “procedure”).

The first aspect is probably self-explanatory—“mental formulation” is basically just a douche-y way of saying “thinking about stuff.” Naturally, I have to develop an idea in my mind that I think is worth putting into words before I, you know, put it into words. Despite the schizophrenic tangents these pieces often swerve into, I assure you a significant amount of forethought goes into what they should ostensibly be about before a single letter is typed. So no matter how insensible the missives in Life on a Shelf may seem at times, I assure you that all of them are hatched from an embryonic guiding vision which was subjected to vigorous cerebral computation before I expelled it onto the page. Or something.

My “ritualistic preparation” these days involves brewing a pot of coffee while my laptop boots up, then stepping out onto my balcony to smoke a cigarette. I assume other writers have their own routines (although I can’t fathom how anybody gets anything done without coffee and cigarettes). As for me, a Camel Blue and five minutes of pensive silence are the ideal trappings to activate the creative headspace I need to be in to get down to business, and a glug of Pacific Northwest Blend with plenty of creamer supplies a constructive intermission whenever I need to gather my thoughts before finishing a sentence… like I just did after I typed those ellipses.

These elements are easily managed—I think about stuff all the time, and I’ve been known to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee even when I’m not writing. In fact, “elementary discipline” is the sole truly daunting component of the “process” (“pretentious fucking quotation marks again”). Though you might imagine the most challenging aspect of being a writer is generating quality material, this is absolutely not the case. Have you ever browsed the Romance section at a bookstore? Next time you do, select any novel with a bare-chested cowboy or highlander on the cover and read the synopsis on the back; you will promptly ascertain that something as otiose as quality never factored into that author’s process. Admittedly, I’ve never written a Romance novel, but I’ve read enough of them to deduce their methodology: devise a serviceable plot which strikes the delicate balance of sappy and rapey that is essential to the genre, concoct a couple names like Liam O’Shaughnessey and Analisa Winthrope, then start cranking out pages. Whether or not the finished product turns out any good is basically irrelevant; it got written. And ultimately, that’s all that matters.

Which brings us to the crux of the issue, my friends: the only difficult thing about writing… is actually writing. As in, sitting down and fucking doing it. Whether you have ideas or not. Whether you have time or not. Whether you even want to or not.

I am battling against all of those things at present. I don’t have any concrete concept of where this piece should go, despite having already listened to the trio of Chiodos discs I own two times each. I suppose I do technically have time because I’m not at work and I’m not asleep—however, it is currently 2:49 a.m., so I’m only a couple hours away from officially being up Stupidly Late. And if I’m being totally honest, I don’t particularly feel like writing this right now. Actually, I haven’t much felt like writing anything lately.

Popular legend asserts that Jack Kerouac authored On the Road in a single marathon, chemical-fueled session. That particular work has of course accumulated a mythic significance, and the integral way its unorthodox genesis factors into the iconography of The Beat Generation’s magnum opus cannot be overstated—there’s just something irresistibly romantic about the notion of a writer so driven to immortalize his masterpiece that he hammered away at it non-stop until he purged the whole thing out of his head and onto the page. On the Road’s putative origin story is such a renowned facet of its existence, it hardly matters anymore that the accepted account of Kerouac composing the novel in one fever-dream sitting is pure hyperbole. It actually took him three full weeks to type the thing, and he was only able to do it that quickly because he had been sketching out the manuscript in his journals for several months beforehand. I’m not pointing this out to belittle the impact of Kerouac’s most revered literary contribution—although I personally found On the Road prodigiously underwhelming when I finally read it, I still concede that crafting an entire novel in three weeks is a duly impressive feat. Even so, for our purposes here, I would like it known that the quixotic notion of writers routinely hunkering down and hammering out text in a frenetic slit-jugular gush is absolute bullshit.

The truth is this: writing is almost never borne from lightning-in-a-bottle surges of inspiration. The vast majority of prose is instead borne from endless, maddening hours spent agonizing over a single word. An entire afternoon spent obsessing over one sentence that will inevitably undergo further alteration when you re-read it the next afternoon and realize it’s still not sitting quite right. Days and nights and months and years whose elapses become measured in pages—days and nights and months and years spent toiling in seclusion. Writing is lonely, punishing work that yields limitless frustration and only sporadic satisfaction. It is the most bi-polar of artistic expressions, a drug that poisons as often as it cures, and you never know which trip you’re in store for from one fix to the next. To be a writer is to give your heart to a mistress who demands steadfast devotion while she repeatedly punches you in the face, yet you keep coming back for more because every now and then she gives you a really awesome kiss instead. Asked what advice they would give to aspiring wordsmiths who wanted to know the secret to living a happy life as a writer, one prominent author is said to have remarked: “Don’t be a writer.” This quote is possibly apocryphal, but when I heard it, I believe it was attributed to Sylvia Plath—or maybe I just assume Sylvia Plath said it because she ended her life by sticking her head into her fucking oven. And, frankly, I don’t think she chose an entirely unreasonable course of action. Because, goddamn, this shit really hurts sometimes.

I am not Jack Kerouac. I did not shape my debut novel in one sitting, or even in three weeks. It took me five grueling years. Once I garnered the interest of an agent, I spent another several months editing my tome to the more marketable length she advised me to trim it to, then spent an additional several months patiently waiting while she shopped it. It was a protracted and sometimes excruciating interval. But one of the things that kept me afloat while I was laboring on this intensive undertaking was my presumption that its consummation was bound to feel like the afterglow of an epic make-out session.

Regrettably, it has not.

Since I finished the book, I have instead found myself in the grip of an acute postpartum depression. I do not feel triumphant, I feel lethargic and uninspired. This is a turn of events I did not foresee—throughout the half-decade I spent striving to complete that project, in the back of my mind I was simultaneously making grand plans to commence a new endeavor, and to subsequently start churning out huge chunks of pages on this one (or at least finish the goddamn letter “C”). And now, at last, for the past few months I have had several hours a day to fill with whatever artistic activities I choose… but I haven’t particularly desired to spend any of those hours doing anything artistic (the most significant feat I’ve been able to muster thus far is re-watching the first three seasons of Miami Vice).

I think I know what has instigated this listlessness. While I was working on the novel, my exclusive goal was its completion; the success or failure of that mission rested solely in my hands. However, my present goal is considerably loftier: I want the thing to get released so I can begin the career I’ve been chasing for two decades… and this is something I have absolutely no jurisdiction over. The outcome of that mission will be decreed by the prospective publishers who will determine the course of the rest of my life, faceless strangers who have the capacity to shatter all of my dreams simply by emailing the word “pass” to my agent.

Which many, many, many have already done.

I am incredibly grateful to be as far along on the course as I am. I am incredibly grateful that a representative at the most prestigious literary agency in the world read something I wrote and found enough merit in it to decide, “this guy doesn’t suck.” I am prouder of the novel I produced than I have been of anything I’ve ever created, and there are passages in it that are so good I can hardly believe I’m the one who wrote them. The manuscript represents an impeccable embodiment of the vision I had when I first sat down and started plucking away at it all those years ago, blissfully unaware of the weight and scope of the expedition I was about to embark on because it was a journey I had never taken before. I bumbled my way through the early chapters as I struggled to gain purchase on the story I wanted to tell, I gradually got to know my characters, and along the way I fell in love with some and grew to despise others, just as I hoped my eventual readers would. Writing the book was a revelatory experience—I became intimately acquainted not only with my craft, but also with the vastness of my passion for it. I drew upon reserves of endurance I did not even know I possessed, consuming innumerable days grinding on the text for six hours straight, breaking away only to go work an eight-hour restaurant shift, then coming home and writing some more until the sun came up before finally collapsing into my bed to sleep for five hours so I could wake up and do the exact same thing again the next day. It took literal and figurative years off my life, but I wrote a novel. And even better, when it was finished, I realized I had somehow written one that I think is pretty goddamn fantastic.

But I’m not basking in victory at the moment—I’m fucking terrified. Because now, after dozens of rejections, there is an increasingly strong chance that no one will ever read my pretty goddamn fantastic novel and this aspiration I have been working toward my entire life will culminate in failure.

I understand that every successful writer surely weathered numerous rebuffs before someone believed in their work enough to green-light their publishing career. My cognizance of this should probably provide me some measure of solace, perhaps assure me that I am in good company and merely going through another step of the “process.”

Except that’s not how I feel right now at all. Right now, I feel like I did the best I could, but the best I can do simply isn’t good enough.

And since we’re putting it all on the table here, I can freely admit that some of my melancholy stems from all of this happening while I’m counting down the final weeks of my thirties. I’ve never placed much significance on age-related milestones—sure, I was depressed when I turned 30, but that was mostly because I was still recovering from a recent break-up; I was also depressed when I turned 35, but that was mostly because I started that birthday eating alone at a Denny’s at two in the morning, which is an inherently depressing way to kick off your birthday irrespective of the year. I realize that being 40 is roughly as inconsequential as being 39 in the scheme of things. Only, it’s kind of fucking not.

It’s not so much the age itself that unsettles me—most of the time, I still conduct myself like an 18 year-old with an advanced record collection and an excessive proportion of grey in his beard; I’ve even grown out my belly and my hair again, so whenever I put on a Slayer shirt I don’t look a whole lot different than I did when I was actually 18. No, the aspect of turning 40 that I find discomfiting is purely internal: I can’t help myself from holding the general assumption that someone who has been on this planet for 40 years should probably have their shit together. And I know I do not. In almost every conceivable realm of my existence, I am behind the curve of innate anthropological evolution: I have not married or procreated, my current vocation is in an industry where even my superiors are at least a decade younger than me, and I still regularly stay up until 5 a.m. eating Doritos while I binge-view Friday The 13th films (in case you’re thinking of investing some time in the franchise, be cautioned that Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan is not merely the worst entry in the series by a massive margin, it is an absolutely unredeemable piece of shit; I’ve only watched that one like 20 times).

When you’re young, 40 seems inconceivably ancient. And no matter how intimately you stay in touch with the edition of yourself who thought that way, sometimes 40 seems inconceivably ancient when you’re 39, too. That clichéd adage “you’re only as old as you feel” delivers no comfort whatsoever on the nights you come home at three in the morning after trudging through nine hours of the food-service work you’ve been slogging in the trenches of for ten years, when you’re depleted and sore and desperately wishing you had some other skillset to realistically earn a decent living, and you evaluate your throbbing feet and your aching back and your weary brain and conclude that if you truly are as old as you feel, then you might have accidentally blinked and turned 65 during your shift. I’m uncertain if I’m old enough to accurately classify myself as old, but I am certainly too old to accurately classify myself as young, and I am old enough to be painfully aware of this.

Consequently, I’m probably also too old to be listening to Chiodos, an archetypal emo ensemble whose musical ethos predominantly evokes a more symphonic incarnation of My Chemical Romance, with intermittent screamy-growly vocals and plenty of requisitely-unwieldy song titles like “I Didn’t Say I Was Powerful, I Said I Was A Wizard”. It’s unlikely I will ever see Chiodos live since they split up in 2016, though I can presume with minimal imprecision that if I did go to one of their shows I would be older than every other person there. Tellingly, the group’s eldest member was only 30 when they disbanded, which suggests that even the dudes who actually played in Chiodos deemed their music unsuitable for people my age.

Despite my cultural incompatibility, I do like Chiodos, and I think a few of their tunes may even merit the designation of awesome. I don’t know if this justifies owning three of their records—the only one I spin with any regularity is 2014’s Devil, mostly for the scorching cut “Ole Fishlips Is Dead Now”, a balls-out metal opus whose bridge section is as thrillingly brutal as its title is silly. Come to think of it, there are a lot of things about the band’s sonic and imagistic aesthetic that strike me as silly, so I’m not sure I entirely understand why I like them. Further, I’m not sure I’m even supposed to like them. In a very real sense, Chiodos embodies the epoch when I officially stopped being part of the demographic that music for young people is aimed at: their debut record—2005’s All’s Well That Ends Well—was released the summer after I graduated from college to presumably take my first steps into proper adulthood (although, I spent most of that summer smoking pot and playing Tekken with my then-girlfriend from two in the afternoon until sunrise, which may not have necessarily qualified as “adulting”).

As such, my initial awareness of Chiodos was primarily defined by my not being aware of them at all. They were exactly the sort of outfit that headlined the Vans Warped Tour the very first year a line-up for that festival was announced which forced me to concede I hadn’t heard of any of the bands performing at an event I had once attended religiously. I don’t think I even registered this sea-change at the time (I think I mostly just grumbled, “dude, the Warped Tour line-up sucks this year”). Yet as Chiodos and I continued advancing on our separate paths, I gradually became conscious that my alt-rock era had officially come to an unceremonious end and a legion of skinny-jean-and-eye-liner-wearing dudes with injudicious haircuts and a multiplicity of neck tattoos had seized the mantle. Since this new crop of youth-medium-t-shirt bands—Falling In Reverse, Sleeping With Sirens, Pierce The Veil, et al—looked so ridiculous to me, I naturally assumed they also sounded ridiculous; upon further inspection, many of these bands do, indubitably, sound ridiculous. However, somewhere along the way, I began to accept an uncomfortable truth: my inability to wholeheartedly appreciate the music of the alt-young is more my fault than the bands’.

It would be extremely narrow-minded of me to sum up what we’ll call the emo scene—for lack of a better term—as “loud songs about girls” (especially since the inclusion of pretty songs about girls between the loud songs about girls is precisely the reason so many girls like the bands in this genus). Nonetheless, on a fundamental level, the vast majority of the music in that canon is indeed characterized by myopic lyrical musings about assorted stages of the boy-meets-girl-boy-loses-girl paradigm. Even the heaviest track in the Chiodos catalog (the afore-mentioned “Ole Fishlips”) features a chorus that begins with the lines: “I want to forget you / You’ve broken everything I love, took all my light and turned it into dusk.” Granted, that’s a damn solid stanza, but it’s not one I can presently relate to. Those words don’t evoke anything in my current existence—the last time someone took all my light and turned it into dusk was a full five years ago; I can barely remember what that felt like now, let alone what being in love to begin with felt like. As much as I appreciate some of the music crafted by acts of Chiodos’ ilk on a purely “that rocks” level, it simply doesn’t resonate with me on an emotional level. The most pressing concerns in my world aren’t centered around whether any of my foxy co-workers like-me-like-me or not; I’m a lot more worried about how I’m going to pay my rent in a few years when my body is too broken down for me to be their co-worker anymore.

Which brings about a more imperative revelation that is just now dawning on me: there isn’t a whole lot of modern rock I can relate to. People of my advanced age are ostensibly supposed to listen to bands like Coldplay, whose music has never spoken to me at all—near as I can tell, most of their songs are either about how exhilarating it feels to discover a great new organic juice bistro or the simple pleasure of trying on an Abercrombie & Fitch v-neck that fits you just right. There aren’t too many rock frontmen writing tunes about wrestling with an uncertain future while the mounting impediments of middle age conspire to diminish their tenacity. Maybe that’s why most of the new records I get excited about are still by death metal bands, whose tunes eschew any musings on situational angst or starry-eyed ardor in favor of graphic elucidations of the various phases of the deceasing process (being violently killed, decomposition, the ensuing sexual defilement of one’s corpse, etc.). Perhaps it’s depressing that I think about dying a lot more frequently than I think about girls these days, yet the fact remains that my particular juncture of the mortal cycle is sorely underrepresented in the contemporary rock register. Aerosmith’s “Dream On” was written way back in 1973; what the fuck have you done for me lately?

When I hear a twenty-something vocalist plaintively bemoaning insecurity about his place in the world, it doesn’t elicit a poignant response from me anymore—now I just sort of meh-shrug because I know he has plenty of time to figure his shit out (and, besides, I find it difficult to sympathize with the amorous woes of any dude with flawless cheekbones who belts out those songs every night to a sea of female fans so devoted to him that they’d willingly gouge out the eyes of the person standing next to them if he told them they could touch his penis afterwards). An audience of that singer’s peers is wholly in synch with that species of nebulous life anxieties, so they are undoubtedly buoyed to ascertain that a musician they esteem is going through the same trials as them. But I am no longer in that audience, no longer a peer. I can hardly blame any of those bands or their fans for my being a man staring down his 40’s; they didn’t do that to me, time did. Regardless, I have become increasingly incapable of forging a sincere connection with them, which makes it tough for me to take them seriously since they ply their trade via an art-form that is the most singular connective tissue of my being.  

I’m of course minimizing for humorous and dramatic effect. There are plenty of more recent outfits whose work has invigorated me over these last few years (if you want me to name names, I’ll happily toss out Modern Baseball, White Lung, Pity Sex, TV Ghost, Moon King, Thee Oh Sees, and Warpaint, among others). Still, I am perpetually reminded that as I segue into my future, most of the truly significant musical figures in my life are destined to remain those who came into my life in my past—especially when I consider that out of the six upcoming concerts I currently have tickets for, not one of the bands I’m going to see was formed in this century.

Chiodos was a very good band. Perhaps even a great one. They authored some creative, impressively-technical music that was executed by a cast of clearly skilled players. Devil is a consistently killer record from start to finish. Judging by how many of their stylistic flourishes I’ve noted in the work of several similar outfits that arrived in their wake, Chiodos is probably terribly important to a large number of people a generation removed from me. Nonetheless, as much as I enjoy a lot of their tunes, Chiodos is just not terribly important to me—I am writing about them here simply because they are the next band in my library.

What is important to me, however, is overcoming this dismal miasma that has settled over me. I have no desire to spend my 40’s the same way I spent most of my 30’s: ever-crawling dejectedly onward, all the while recognizing my destiny like a beacon on the distant horizon and wondering when I will reach it, inexorably waiting for the life I want to live to finally begin. After facing numerous setbacks—the worst being a deal that was actually on paper awaiting signatures, one that my agent was forced to pass on to protect me because of an untenable small-print proviso which ceded absolute ownership of my work to the publisher—the status of my authorial career is thus: my best option now is to craft another novel and restart the process from scratch. The challenge this poses is fresh and staggering: now I know precisely how difficult it is to write a novel, how long it takes, how much of myself will be devoured along the way. And I will have to plunge into this undertaking without any assurance that eventual success will ensue, since it did not the first time.

Yet if I have any prayer of meeting that challenge, first I have to dissipate this fog that has enveloped me. I cannot complete the task until I begin it in earnest. So maybe, just maybe, if I can coax myself to finish an essay about a band that doesn’t mean anything to me, I’ll be able to coax myself back to pursuing the desire that means everything to me.

It’s time for me to sit down again. And fucking do it. Whether I have ideas or not. Whether I have time or not. Whether I even want to or not. Like chaste Analisa Winthrope—who initially resists the brutish advances of that notorious rogue Liam O’Shaughnessey, until she beholds the throbbing nucleus of manhood beneath his kilt and finally yields to the humid yearning in her loins—I must succumb to my passion.

Because writing isn’t something I do. It’s what I am. Sure, those punches in the face are never pleasant. But, man, when I get those kisses instead…

This probably isn’t the best installment of Life on a Shelf I’ve ever composed. It might not even be a particularly strong one.

But that’s basically irrelevant. It got written.

And right now, ultimately, that’s all that matters.

 April 5, 2018