#I can't see like a full list of topics the class will cover

[doedipus]

the difference between my enthusiasm after one day of the japanese class and my enthusiasm after one day of the programming class are night and fucking day, to the extent I'm considering just dropping the programming one on the spot

[dean-a-mean-tae]

( Unnamed ) | Stray Kids Additional Member AU

Nicholas remembers meeting his girlfriend

WARNINGS: Second hand embarrassment, Nicholas gets talked about like Jasper from Twilight, SUGGESTIVE, and I think that's it. PAIRING: Nicholas Ross x OC (Shadeen)

Nicholas Ross Master List

The morning sun shining through the open curtains blinds Nicholas. He could've sworn they closed those curtains. His eyes adjust as his body wakes and the first thing he sees is a water bottle. After taking a sip, he noticed the vacant spot next to him.

"I was going to do breakfast in bed, but I can't cook," She mumbles, placing a tray on the bedside table. There are eggs, bacon, and pancakes with a cup of cranberry juice and another of orange juice. "Your friend helped me. The oldest in this dorm?"

"Minho," Nicholas answered, his voice rough with sleep. He shoved a piece of bacon in his mouth and fought the thoughts telling him to spit it back out.

"What do you wanna do today? I was thinking we could relax before facing the others or we could hightail it for the door. Your drawer still has some clothes, but you might need to restock it," Nicholas rambles, chewing the same piece of bacon. It shouldn't be this hard to eat.

The food was wonderful, but his stomach was not.

Ignoring the queasy feeling, Nicholas looks at his girlfriend and sighs. Her eyes are bright and her body is covered by his shirt pooling around her thighs. The sun shined behind her creating a halo around her.

She's gorgeous.

"You didn't hear a thing I said, huh?" Nicholas chuckles, his voice gentle and his smile soft. He watches Seraphine blink free from her gaze.

"I'm sorry, what'd you say?" Her voice was just as quiet as his. He didn't know why they were whispering. It felt like speaking too loud would break the peace.

"I asked what you want to do?" He repeated, pushing her hair behind her ear. He watched her scoop eggs into her mouth, her cheeks inflating with food before swallowing and leaning against his shoulder.

Shadeen is the warmth you get sitting by the fire. The warmth from curling up on a cold winter day. She is the joy you feel when your favorite show releases a season. The joy felt when you reunite with your family. She is the relief of relaxing after a long day, and the relief of letting go and being happy.

Shadeen is Nicholas's heaven.

It didn't matter if the sun wasn't shining for everyone else. His star was brighter than anything in the universe. Even brighter than that stupid sunbeam Minho keeps using to wake him up. The one Seungmin calls Flashlight x1000.

"Do you remember how we met?" Shadeen whispered, kissing up and down Nick's jawline and rubbing his chest.

"Like a cliche in a dumb Christmas movie?" The younger laughs, raising his hands to protect himself from the onslaught of soft hits.

"Yes, embarrassed," Nicholas teased, "I remember."

Shadeen and her friend, Areum, worked morning shifts with a shitty boss breathing down their necks. The duo were always gossiping. One gossiping while working and the other staring at each person walking through the door. Attached by the hip.

Shadeen messes with coffee filters behind the counter while Areum pretends to do some form of work. Occasionally, the taller girl would lean over to whisper in Shadeen's ear, earning a quiet laugh.

Today's topic in gossip was a guy sitting alone in the corner of the cafe. His hair was in a ponytail full of braids covered by a cap. Sunglasses and a mask hid his face from everyone, but the sun made his brown skin shine. His attention was on a book and some papers.

"I think he's a student," Areum's high-pitched voice interrupted Shadeen's thoughts. When she looked up, the taller girl was tilting her head at the boy.

"We're students," Shadeen said. Areum's eyes rolled before flicking between her friend and the guy now checking the thick textbook beside him. Shadeen huffed, "What? We are."

"I think that's that boy in your class," Areum muttered, pulling more cups out a bag. "The cute tall one who walks like he's in pain."

"Well..." Shadeen's voice trailed, "Maybe he is in pain?"

"I am, but I've gotten used to it."

Their heads had never moved so fast, and Shadeen's 99% certain she heard a bone pop in Areum's neck. There's that guy they were just staring at. His thick eyebrows are raised over his sunglasses and one of his braids hangs in front of his eye. He's either smirking or has a crooked smile because one of his cheeks is pressing into his glasses and eye.

"Hello, nice to meet you," He whispered, his hand lifting in a tiny wave. His voice is much more quiet than Areum's.

"I'm embarrassed and this is Areum," Shadeen introduced, before slamming her face into her hands. Giggles and a hand carefully pulling away hers made her lift her head.

The boy was smiling now, both cheeks peeking over the mask and pushing his glasses up as his nose scrunched. He takes her hand and shakes it.

"Nice to meet you, embarrassed. I'm amused," He teased.

Areum's eyes bounce between the two before glancing at a customer waiting behind the tall boy. She pats Shadeen's shoulder before stepping to another register, effectively pulling the customer away and giving the other two time together.

"I got in trouble for slacking on the job that day," Shadeen said, nodding in thought. Nicholas giggled. He remembered her complaining to him about her boss. The old man told her to keep her romance away from work.

"I like to think you getting in trouble pushed us together." Nicholas shrugged as Shadeen leaned against him, her head bobbing with his shoulder.

"We would've gotten together at some point."

Nicholas Ross Master List | ©️DEANAMEANTAE2024

TAGS LIST: @jinnie-ret @bada-lee-ily @foxilsdenn @hwxnghyynjin @rensahazard @ziipzeepzop-eez @spookzyclown @michelle4eve @leezanetheofficial @mynameisnotlaura @lucianidealz

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Delta anon here again and I have a LOT of ideas based on the headcanon that the Epic Sanses would go visit haunted places.

- Delta has a list of things that he needs to do before and during the trips. He has rules made for himself based on past experiences they don't want to repeat, such as not unveiling any covered mirrors and not to mess with the demonic aspects of it. He does not force his friends to go along with his rules and rituals but it is VERY much encouraged.

- If the group hears or reports certain noises, they leave. Immediately. This can go from sirens (if they break in to investigate) to physical screams from the ghosts/creatures haunting the place.

- When they split up to explore, they all have walkie-talkies they take with along with extra batteries if the ghosts sap all the energy out.

- Beta and Color's chat can speak and interact with the other ghosts of the haunting. Unfortunately not all of the other ghosts are nice.

- Speaking of that, if the ghosts are cruel or violent, they will first attack Beta and Color's Chat because they're 'different' ghosts. If attacked, Delta and Color will quickly protect them (and the Souls will protect each other obv).

- They do NOT fuck with demons or demonic activity. Since the majority of them can see the apparitions, I'd imagine that they'd also be able to tell if it's a regular ghost or if it's a demonic entity. If one shows up and it's clear it's a demon, they leave and cleanse themselves properly.

- But on the topic of that. Delta got possessed once by a malevolent spirit. Color and Epic freaked out trying to get him back (he got violent and then went full-on crazy). Meanwhile in Delta's head it was a combination of Sans trying to regain control and Beta trying to chase the demon off. It worked, but Delta had to go to the hospital because they almost hurt themselves and others.

- Going off the idea that they never thought to verify with Epic about being able to talk to the other(s) in your Soul(s), sometimes Delta and Color will just start speaking directly with the ghosts that are there aside from their own. Sometimes they will see or call put to one before the equipment they use can recognize it. Eventually Epic would just ask what they're on about and they'd get confused, because can't you see it? And he'd have to say no, I have no clue what you're talking about. (I would pay good money to see how that conversation would go down between them lmao.)

- Delta actually has a lot of knowledge with this kind of stuff. He does his research whenever they go to a new spot. They know the different classes and names of anything they could possibly encounter, including the folklore and entities such as fey or skinwalkers.

- Mannequins inside a haunted building are never a good sign. They had one bad encounter and Never Again. Delta/Beta will straight up leave if they encounter one, reguardless of if there's an attachment to it or not. Color dislikes the idea of them being in anywhere haunted, but as long as he doesn't see a connection to a ghost with it, he'll be okay - just on edge. Epic would make jokes and probably try to bring the mannequin around like a prop. He would 100% try to scare his friends with it and most likely already has.

- They are all somewhat on edge during the explorations due to not knowing what they'll encounter. Epic does his best to keep the mood light, but even he gets freaked out sometimes.

- Delta makes absolute SURE that they don't go into the portals between the current world and the ghost world. Color can see the portals better than he can (due to having more Souls), but Delta has a proper fear of them.

- If something ever scares them during the exploration, they will agree to run. Anything they leave behind belongs to the house (or wherever they were exploring) now.

- However, if Epic decides to play around and scare them, he knows his limits. Don't scare Delta with mannequins (Delta will immediately destroy the mannequin and then RUN), and don't scare Color by straying from the group and going quiet (Color will have a panic attack because he has no idea where Epic is). Unfortunately, Epic learned these things the hard way.

- If they bring Zorox with, that poor puppy will be so busy. Both in keeping Delta/Beta ok and forcing them to take breaks when they need to, and in seeing tons of new people/ghosts. He'd also probably have to help Color or Epic, too.

- Killer is not allowed to come. They (Color) invited him ONCE and never again. He decided to 'prank' Delta during the investigation (because why wouldn't he) and used the mannequins against him by pretending that the mannequin got possessed and was coming for him. It scared the absolute shit out of him. Killer was never invited back again and Delta personally made sure of that. He was also allowed to punch Killer for this, much to his joy. He was unable to sleep for weeks after that one.

- All of their neurodivergence can play with them. They're all hyper-aware of every new noise or thing they see and make sure to take notes. If one of them starts to get overstimulated (most likely Delta or Color, because they can see the other ghosts), then the other two will immediately help and take them somewhere safe. Or if Color's hyper-empathy starts to get too bad, Delta will focus on taking care of the ghosts while Epic calms him down and reassures him.

- If Epic gets scared or startled by something, his immediate reaction is to scream and jump on the nearest person or object. They have a game made out of how many tally's they can get with being the one to catch him.

- Cross is allowed and invited to come along. Delta was very hesitant to let someone else come after the whole Killer incident, but Epic had a talk with Cross and Cross proved himself trustworthy. Unfortunately he got the shit scared out of him by one of the ghosts. But he is always welcome on the adventures.

- They found a cat when they were exploring once. They took it home. They have a cat now.

- Delta is ALWAYS armed when they go exploring somewhere new. They never know what they'll encounter and want to guarantee protection. Color and Epic are aware of this, and whoever else comes along is made aware. They found a live person once. The person tried to attack them. That person was not alive for much longer.

- You know those old "[insert place] gothic" stories that went around on Tumblr for a bit? That's basically what they experience. Delta has learned many lessons from these things and it is the main reason he has rules and rituals in place to keep them all safe.

- If you've ever watched Sam and Colby or The Boys, that's kind of how I'd imagine their investigations to go.

- If a ghost is ready to be freed and let go of what's chaining them to their death place, Delta actually knows how to set them free. It takes up the majority of his energy though and afterwards, he has to rest immediately or else he'll faint.

- If there are children ghosts in where they're exploring, Delta and Color will know. They will get incredibly upset, but Delta will immediately seek to free them of their chains. Delta will not allow himself to show too much emotion, he knows the kids can sense it and doesn't want to upset them, but they will be incredibly quiet. Color would be able to keep himself calm, enough to be able to explain to Epic why Delta is suddenly quiet or acting as if they're interacting with someone. Once they're away from the place, they'll both allow themselves to feel what they need to and get through it.

- They have all been physically attacked by ghosts/demons before. Scratches, bite marks, bruises. All the like.

- Delta has fought both ghosts and demons before on these trips. Epic thinks it's hilarious because he can't see them and all he sees is Delta swinging at air. Color does not know what to think of it but if it's justified, he let's Delta do it and basically narrates it for Epic, which makes it even funnier.

- One time Color snapped at a ghost that was messing with them a little too much. Epic recorded while Delta and Beta quietly debated about whether they should stop Color and when. The ghost decided to get aggressive and Color didn't even hesitate before smacking the shit out of it. Delta/Beta and Epic agreed to not stop him until it was necessary.

And that's all I have for now! Also, happy birthday!!!

Thoughts?

Thank you for the birthday wishes! This was a wonderful gift too ����.

And i love this Epic Sanses go Ghost Hunting thingy. I like to imagine they do it as like a bonding experience every other weekend, whenever their work or color and deltas responsibilities to beta/souls/killer allow some free time.

The thought of Color smacking the shit out of a ghost and delta squaring up with mannequins is hilarious to me. And of course Killer would try to play a prank, ghosts and demons very likely aren’t anything scary or interesting to him lmao. Especially if it scared delta.

the cat they brought home was probably the best thing about having to deal with color going on somewhere killer cant follow—if he gets cats he’s probably content about it all. (Wonder what he thinks about color showing up with bruises, scratches and marks.

Obviously stage 1 would probably be worried, especially if he doesn’t quite trust epic and delta yet, but stage 2 might have a different view on it. Sadistic little fuck would probably think color would look prettier with his bite marks and scratches.)

And I love that delta is so knowledgeable about these things, taking it all very seriously—I wonder if he always believed in supernatural things even before the events of Ultra/Vitaltale. Maybe he’s always been sensitive to that type of stuff. And i cant help but imagine Delta and Beta jumping and ganging up on the spirit that possessed them, and basically tossing bro out. It’s hilarious to me.

[sophieswundergarten]

Does anybody want to hear about my 100% fabricated Cannonball backstory?

So, imagine this kid. Maybe he's got parents, maybe he doesn't. I think he probably lost his family at a young age and was sent to live with a great aunt/uncle who has a huge house and doesn't really mind if he runs around on his own all day.

At age seven, he gets his hands on a copy of Treasure Island it becomes he favourite book. He reads it cover to cover in three days, staying up as late as he can and reading under the sheets until he falls asleep and wakes up with his face on the still-open book.

There's a small stream on the edge of the property, and he spends every day down there, studying the water currents and watching the different kinds of leaves drift down it. Once he steals an entire package of toothpicks and takes an afternoon holed up in his room making as perfect a model of a ship he can.

After that, his guardians begin to take notice. He receives model kits and books on the history of sailing and every space second of his is devoted to knot-tying. He always keeps a slender piece of rope in his pocket, and it becomes a soothing habit for him to tie and untie it, often without looking, or under his desk to avoid attention when he's at school.

He doesn't get along with the other children very well, though not for lack of trying. They just aren't interested in hearing him list each part of a sailing ship or debating the merit of a sloop versus a schooner. So, he spends most of his free periods reading and sketching and closing his eyes and imagining what it would be like to feel the wind on his face.

What he does excel at is history, especially navy battles. He loves the strategy and the careful planning and the weighing of pros and cons and it delights him whenever the topic in class turns to maritime warfar.

As soon as school lets out he runs the whole way home, back up the hill to the empty old house that has far too many rooms full of stagnant air. He relishes the feeling of the breeze through his hair, seeking out storms and studying the sky to catalogue weather patterns.

All he wants is to be free. To be free of the small-minded people, and the children at his school that regard him strangely, to be free of the same streets and the same sights and the same people who seem content to never set foot anywhere but the dirt they and their family had grown out of.

He comes home full of tales of distant lands and the people and cultures there and dreams of the smell of the sea.

As soon as he turns thirteen, lying awake as the clock strikes midnight as he is taunted by the sound of waves crashing still echoing from his dreams, he decides he's had enough.

He packs a bag, just the necessities (And his well-worn copy of Treasure Island), and leaves a note on the breakfast table.

Then he sets out, following the path to the sea that he'd charted in his mind hundreds of times, chasing the faint cries of seagulls.

He finds a ship, even in the early morning light he can recognise the different classes of each vessel in the harbor. He slips aboard, hiding himself away behind some crates below deck, exhausted from his journey but feeling a thrill of exhilaration as the gentle rocking sends him into the most peaceful sleep of his life.

He figured he'd sleep here so he could find the first crew member aboard in a few hours and beg for a position on the ship, but when he wakes to the afternoon sunlight slanting down into the hold, he knows instantly that this is not the tender rocking of a boat moored not ten feet from the dock. These are the waves only found when one is really truly at sea.

And, despite himself, he can't help but be excited.

Cautiously emerging, he sees a flurry of motion that sparks something in him he hasn't felt in years. He makes note of each task being done, hoping his expertise (Academic though it is) will prove a good bargaining chip with the captain.

He knows exactly where the captain's quarters would be on a ship of this size, and carefully makes his way to the door, knocking hesitantly before hearing an invite to enter.

He is greeted with a slightly shabby but nonetheless friendly looking man, studying a map on his desk. He looks up in surprise at the sight of an unaccounted for child on his ship, but quickly masks it with a professional look.

The boy is too smart for that, though, and he's seen that look shared between teachers before they gently but firmly tell him that while impressive, his report on why a field trip to the marina would be beneficial is of course ridiculous.

Silent tears start dripping down his cheeks, as he lays out his whole story for the captain and begs for even the smallest position on his ship. He won't even ask to be paid, all he needs is to be on the ocean. He's been longing for it all his life, and now that he's finally experienced it the siren song will surely drive him mad if he's deposited back in that horrible landlocked schoolhouse.

The captain is slightly taken aback by this, but his first instinct is to give the boy a hug. He tells him that they will have to dock soon, and then he will be having a very frank discussion with the child's guardians, but he sees no reason why he shouldn't be able to take up an apprenticeship with them.

And, as Cannonball heaves a sigh into the captain's shoulder, he recognizes that feeling that's been calling out to him for so long, the one that immediately slid into place in his heart. The feeling of coming home

[alligatorjesie]

Find something different to defend to the death. Like idk, a classic book or smth. Or a movie that was actually good and had cultural impact (not the Star Wars sequels, only the prequel and og trilogy had impact. The new shot is blatant milking from a capitalist shitstain company that would rather its employees die in their cars from starvation than give them a livable wage.) or maybe go take a literature class and learn abt subtext and themes, and narrative equivalencies, and be able to understand that real life affects fiction (1984) so logically, the reverse must be true. (literary tropes and monsters becoming mainstream, concepts and phrases from books becoming so commonplace nobody can even remember where they came from, a lot of things abt Sherlock Holmes and how so many things from that series of stories affected real life police and detectives and how they were perceived. these are all examples of fiction affecting reality and peoples perception of it.) you are being a clown for no reason. Take off the mcdonald shoes and put on your big girl ones.

What kinda fucking cocknozzle sits there and tells someone else that the thing they like ain't worth defending then shoots a fucking fat turd of a paragraph trying to explain why?

Yes, that's what I want. A fucking prick telling me the thing I love is bad because they don't fucking understand it.

Ya daffy fucking cunt. You probably don't know fucking dick about botany but that don't mean the kudzu that has been slowly choking the entirety of the fucking southern states of America suddenly isn't a fucking issue anymore because you don't understand what the flying fuck it is.

Things can mean many things to other people even though the point can evade you, and fuck me sideways, a lot of information looks like it evades those two brain cells you got knockin' around. Let's help you out by pointing you to a few metas since you can't seem to understand the cultural impact these movies may have had on some people: Musically Ben and Rey mirror one another.

Another music study on Ben and Rey's leitmotifs because John Williams don't fuck around and understood the fucking assignment.

Reylo is just reverse anidala and you can see this shit with your fucking eyes closed

Rey has a lot of fucking reasons to be absolutely fucking furious but chooses the high road and how we can all learn from that.

Rey and Ben are ying and yang.

They cover that topic a lot because it's not fucking subtle.

Kylo Ren and the five stages of grief

The color red is in The Last Jedi a lot and it's not fucking accidental.

More on the topic of blood and the color red used in these movies.

The trilogies are all metaphors for growing up.

The Force Bond was set up in The Force Awakens and it's really fucking obvious.

Another one.

And another one.

Many of these metas, specifically the force bond ones, were made well fucking before The Last Jedi came out if that tells you how fucking obvious the bond was going to be in the plot structure of these fucking movies moving forward.

You remember this scene?

Yeah John Williams knew full fucking well reylo was gonna be a goddamn thing

Really fucking obvious Beauty and the Beast parallels.

Snoke is a dragon from ye olde fairytales.

The canto bight scene and it's cinematic parallels to My Fair Lady

Just to name a fucking few.

There are literal lists upon lists of these fucking metas on tumblr.

Listen, I could go fucking on there are countless metas floating around on this very fucking website that covers just... fucking everything dealing with The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi.

Not you Rise of Skywalker, we don't fucking talk about you.

These 2 movies alone gave us so much fucking content that even now 8 years after their release we can still dive in and catch new shit. That ain't fucking shallow you dense motherfucker.

Just because you watched these movies with your head rammed up your ass so fucking far you can only see shit doesn't mean they are shallow works with zero cultural impact. They don't mean dick To You. They mean quite a bit to many other people who ain't fucking stupid.

I may be a clown but you're a fucking joke.

[julemmaes]

Honey - part two

Elide Lochan x Lorcan Salvaterre roommates au

A/N: I’m so tired yall have no idea. My eyes are burning and my fingers are cramping cause I’ve been writing all day to get this done, so yeah, I’m very satisfied and some of the blogs that I consider big or are big for a fact started following me and commented on the first part, so I freaked out a little, but I can tell that I’ll sleep peacefully tonight because of that, so thank you all. Enjoy!:)

Oh, and I almost forgot, the song at the end is called “Honey” and it’s by Johnny Balik (shoker, as my man Kieran would say)

masterlist

Word count: 4,966

Lorcan's least favourite day was definitely Friday, unlike all people his age. Not because he didn't like going out in the city at night to have fun and drink until you forgot even your mother's name, but because it was the only day of the week he had to work at both the shelter and the toy shop.

He loved working with the dogs and the few cats they brought in, and although he wasn't really a people person, he enjoyed spending time deciding with the kids and parents what was the best gift to go home with. And although Lorcan would never admit it out loud, he had grown fond of some of the regulars - especially a mother of three who he knew worked as a lawyer in one of the offices above the shop. Almost every day she would come in during her lunch break to buy one of those surprise sachets that cost a euro each and if Lorcan didn't see her coming before he went on his break, he would wait a few minutes before closing up just for her. Elide had managed to find out this detail a few months later after she moved in and he knew she would never stop teasing him because he had a heart of gold.

The phone vibrated in his hand just as he got behind the wheel and he wasn't at all surprised to see that the last message he had gotten was from Elide.

He huffed, not even opening yet another link that would surely send him to yet another website with information on why the world was ending very slowly and why humans were to be blamed entirely. He started the car and drove off towards their house.

Lorcan wasn't a bad person and he really cared about everything Elide was sending him, but he was tremendously tired and all he could think about was how much he wanted to take a shower and pass out in his bed. The fact that none of this was going to happen because Fenrys and Rowan had forced him to accept the invitation out to dinner made it all worse.

It took him less than ten minutes to get home and when he parked and saw the lights in their living room on, he seriously considered backing up and getting out of there to get to Vaughan's house before Elide noticed his car and he wouldn't be able to get away no more.

He was sure his friend would take him in without question if he asked to put him up for a night.

But luck was not on his side as Elide's petite figure appeared in the window and Lorcan could not see her face, but he knew she was smiling as she bounced and waved to greet him.

Despite everything, Lorcan raised his hand in turn and smiled back at her, knowing full well that even she could not see him so low and hidden by the evening shadows.

As he climbed the sixth flight of stairs and mentally prepared himself for two more, he could foresee the flood of words that would wash over him when he entered the house. Elide hadn't kept quiet for the entire day, sending him voice messages and staying with him on calls for the entire duration of his lunch break, so much so that at one point he had wondered if she had gone to class and then to work. He had discovered that yes, she had gone, but she hadn't paid the slightest attention to what they had explained and had gotten half the customers' orders wrong.

When he opened the front door, he recognized the melody of one of the songs she'd put on her apology playlist, the one he'd made for her nearly three weeks earlier after she'd found out he still smoked. She'd seemed so hurt that after he'd gone to bed and cleaned the tiles of his blood until they glistened, he'd stood at the kitchen table and spent hours and hours searching for the perfect apology songs. A bit dramatic perhaps, but it had had the desired effect.

He sighed, slipping off his jacket and putting it as far away from Elide's as possible, so that no animal hair would get on hers. He would clean it later.

The girl in question sputtered out of the living room with a beaming smile on her face, her cheeks strangely red and her eyes so bright they were glossy, "Hello, handsome."

"Hi, Ellie." he murmured, straightening his back and making the bones in his neck crack. Elide approached and Lorcan took a step back, bumping his back against the door, "I haven't showered yet," he put his hands forward to keep her at arm's length, "you can touch and hug me all you want later, but please not now," he begged her.

She gave the cutest pout he had ever seen, "But-"

"No buts, you can wait three minutes for me to wash up without dying," he continued, walking past her without touching her or making any overly sudden movements.

"You're such a pain in the ass," she complained, that adorable pout deepening all the more, "I can always take the antihistamine if I get allergies."

Lorcan shook his head, turning a confused expression on her, "I'd rather you didn't take medication just because you want to hug me."

It was true.

To their great misfortune, Elide was one of the very few people he knew who was allergic to animal hair. Any animal. More precisely, she was allergic to the mites that lived in the fur and the dust that accumulated in it in enormous quantities even on a normal basis. Given that the dogs Lorcan worked with were left to run loose in the fields all day, when he came home he was covered in anything that could kill his friend and roommate in one sniff and he didn't want to have to take her to the emergency room again because they couldn't tell if she was breathing properly.

It was why every night since he'd started working at the shelter he had taken a shower before doing anything else. It was why their water bill had gone up so much since they had found out about this allergy of hers.

"It's just a pill Lor, it's not like I have to get shots or..." she shrugged, as if to indicate anything more invasive than a simple pill.

He brought his hands in front of his mouth like a prayer, looking her in the eyes, "How many times do I have to explain to you that if you take one type of medicine every day, after a while your body no longer perceives it as an extra foreign thing to help you, but as the norm and so it no longer has any effect?"

Elide grimaced, "I hate you."

He chuckled, walking backwards until he reached the bathroom door, just in case she had the great idea to ambush him and jump on his back, "Just wait five minutes."

"It was three before," she said frowning, "And, speaking of showers-" and then she did something that made Lorcan freeze in his tracks. He didn't register what was going on until Elide's shirt was too high up for him to avoid seeing everything. And by everything, he meant everything.

"Elide what the fuck are you doing?!" he turned around, screaming, then his eyes went wide, trying to figure out if what had just happened was true or not. He squeezed his eyes shut, closing his hands into fists, biting his knuckles, "You're not wearing a fucking bra." he said in a voice sharper than he had intended.

He heard her giggle, but the sound came out muffled, "Loorcaaan." she crooned, "Help."

"I can't turn around Ellie, you're naked," he pointed out to her with his eyes still closed, then in a lower voice, "God, you're naked. What has gotten into you?"

He felt her move as she walked around him and stopped in front of him, "Help." she said in a flat tone. Lorcan had to laugh, her tone reminded him so much of the way the green aliens in Toy Story talked.

"Help what?" he asked letting out an amused laugh.

"I'm stuck." she said slurring her words and he felt her move, she was probably wiggling to get out of her t-shirt. And if she was wiggling, that meant her-

Lorcan took a sharp breath, cursing under his breath and trying to quiet his wandering mind.

He arched an eyebrow, though he was pretty sure she couldn't see him either, as doubt crept into him, "Are you drunk?"

Elide was silent for a while, then giggled like a child, "Just a little tipsy."

"Ellie it's seven o'clock," he exclaimed amused, but surprised to learn that she had been drinking, "why on earth are you drunk at seven?"

"Just a little tipsy," she repeated like a broken record. Then she screeched like a pterodactyl and Lorcan burst out laughing again, turning and taking a step or two forward to avoid risking accidentally touching her once more.

"Alright, why are you just a little tipsy at seven o'clock on a night when we're supposed to be going out with the others?" he asked now a little more eager to know the answer.

He heard her snort audibly, "The world is ending, Lorcan, why won't you understand that?"

He opened his eyes wide, not believing what she was saying, pinning them on the picture their friends had given them for Christmas, the one with all their best pictures collaged on a coloured canvas.

And here he thought he was the dramatic one of the two.

He nodded to himself, "So you're telling me that the reason you decided to get drunk before you even went out is because of global warming?"

He heard a rustle and then something hit him on the head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to slap you," she said in the tone of someone who couldn't care less about having hit him, "Anyway, yeah. Global warming and forests catching fire and animals dying and plastic burning..." she took a deep breath and then continued for a few minutes, making a list of all the things she had learned that afternoon by reading all the articles she could find about why humans were the worst living thing in the world.

Lorcan stood patiently listening to her, occasionally getting lost when she introduced topics that were a little too specific, but listen to her he did. The way she was saying all those things was always reminiscent of the little green aliens, but he knew the subject was more serious than it sounded.

With his arms crossed over his chest, he didn't think he'd moved too much, but at one point Elide sneezed and he cursed himself for not having moved fast enough to go to the bathroom.

"I told you you'd get allergies."

"But I didn't even touch you," she squealed back.

"You know that's not necessary for even your soul to start itching too," he scolded her.

Elide remained silent for a while longer, then started talking again, "And we should seriously get some glass bottles, if I see you with those stupid plastic bottles again I'll kill you. Scout's honor." she threatened him.

Lorcan chuckled, "Elide you've never been in scouts."

"How punctilious of you." she scoffed at him, then gasped, "We could buy matching flasks, with glitter and," she gasped again, sounding increasingly excited, "We could have one of our pictures printed on it."

A smile broke out on Lorcan's lips and he knew that if he had looked in the mirror at that moment he would have seen the face of a boy lost in love. He pulled himself together, straightening his back, trying not to think about how he felt about Elide. It wouldn't have done any good to admit that those feelings were real and tangible inside him.

He was staring at Fenrys' face in one of the pictures they had taken on holiday that summer, when Elide spoke again.

"This is a list of things that should make you understand why we have to shower together."

Lorcan choked on his saliva. He coughed a few times, patting his chest.

How had they gone from polar bears dying from melting ice to them showering together?

"What are you talking about?" he asked her in a squeaky voice.

The fact that she was alluding to them showering together while he knew she was half naked behind him, a breath away practically, made him feel so many different kinds of wrong.

"We can't waste water Lor, it's not hard." she sounded exasperated, then muttered, "Sometimes I really think you're being obtuse or stupid."

Lorcan's eyes went wide, "Wow, thanks Ellie."

"You're welcome." she chipped.

He shook his head, sighing and running a hand over his face, "Don't you think there are plenty of other ways we can start saving the world, before we have to shower together?" he took the fact that she wasn't answering as a cue to continue, "Like start recycling?"

Elide gasped again, making him chuckle, "Did you sign the petition?"

"Which-" he trailed off. She was talking about the petition to have a door-to-door rubbish collection service introduced in their town. Something that would force everyone to sort their garbage. "Yes, I signed it."

"Good." she whispered.

"I signed them all," he reiterated, because it was true and he knew that Elide never sent him stupid petitions, that whatever she sent him must be important and it didn't cost him anything to put his email and name on a website if it meant he could make a difference in his own small way.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it." she said in a weak voice.

Lorcan felt strangely uncomfortable all of a sudden.

And not because of the fact that Elide was naked behind him and had just confessed to wanting to shower with him, but because he would have wanted to turn around and kiss her, not do what any other guy would have thought of doing with a half-naked girl. No. Lorcan just wanted to kiss her and take his time in the process, savour the kiss and not be hasty and quick.

He wanted it to be slow and heartfelt, he wanted her to feel every single thing he couldn't say out loud.

"Lorcan?" she whispered, "I'm always stuck and I'm starting to get cold."

He blinked, "Yeah, you're right." then interrupted. They were silent a few seconds, "You really can't pull your shirt down?"

"No."

He took a deep breath. Then another.

"Okay, I'm going to turn around and keep my eyes closed, please stay still so I don't touch- anything. I'm not touching anything. I'll try to help you." he stammered, clasping his hands along his sides. She made a simple grunt of assent and he huffed, raising his hands in the air and lowering them slowly until he touched her head. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and then released the elbow that had gotten stuck in her shirt.

"Yay." exclaimed Elide.

Sensing that she was moving freely on her own, Lorcan pulled away again and when the sound of clothes stopped, he asked, "Are you done?"

"Yes," she said singing.

His shoulder sagged a little and he smiled. He opened his eyes, ready to move Elide to the side and go take that holy shower, but whatever he'd thought when he'd asked if she was done must have been the exact opposite of what she'd thought, because Elide's tits were freer than ever between the two of them.

Lorcan grunted, slapping a hand over his face to cover his eyes, "What the fuck, Ellie. Stop flashing me, I'm begging you."

He heard her giggle and then a gust of wind and her laughter fading down the corridor let him know she had run off. He opened his eyes tentatively, peering through his fingers to make sure she wasn't still in front of him and sighed with relief when he finally managed to get into the bathroom and lock the door behind him.

He leaned against the sink, clutching the ceramic between his fingers and staring at his reflection in the mirror.

He never thought the first time he would see Elide's tits would be under these circumstances. He ran a hand over his face again, trying to somehow erase the image he knew he would never forget.

He had just stepped into the shower when he heard something very large and heavy slam against the door. Something that seconds later burst out laughing. Lorcan could only follow as he imagined a half-naked Elide running towards the bathroom and failing to stop in time.

"Are you alright, honey?" he asked her just in case. He turned on the water, hissing when he found it frozen, but not moving from under the jet. After all, a cold shower wouldn't hurt him.

"Let me in." she shouted, slamming her fist against the door, "Let me iiin!"

"Are you dressed?"

"No."

"Then you can't come in."

A scream of despair followed by what could only be a fake hysterical cry made him burst out laughing again, but then for a few minutes all that was heard was the sound of the shower and water falling from his hair.  

"Ellie, are you still there?"

The answer came quickly, "Yes."

"Are you still naked?"

"Maybe." then he heard her move against the door and realised she'd been sitting on the floor.

Perfect, he was stuck in there. He reached for the phone and thought of something.

As he finished untangling the knots in his hair and washing out the conditioner, Elide was talking about how harmful the soaps they used were and had even gone so far as to say that they should both shave their heads so as to minimise their impact on the environment.

"What did you do today?" she asked him suddenly.

Lorcan didn't answer, dialling the number of a certain blonde girl who could help him out of this situation. Aelin answered after the fifth ring and Lorcan knew full well that she had done it on purpose, hoping he would hang up so she wouldn't have to talk to him.

"Hello?"

"Listen, something kind of weird happened and I need-"

"Who is this?" Lorcan arched an eyebrow, pulling his ear away from the phone to check the number. It was Aelin's phone. And the chick's voice on the other end was her, he was sure of it. "God, Lorcan, I'm fucking with you, what's up?"

"Funny," he deadpanned, "Elide's already drunk."

"What? But it's not even eight o'clock."

"I know, I came home and she was already like that."

A few moments of silence passed, "Okay, and what do you want me to do?"

"Well, she took her shirt off at one point."

Lorcan waited for a reaction, but Aelin didn't respond.

"And now she's naked in the hallway and blocking the bathroom door and-"

"She's what?" the friend burst out laughing.

"She's naked," he gritted through his teeth, "And she's blocking the bathroom door. I don't know how to get out and I don't want to open the door and push her off and risk hurting her. Is there any way you could come over here and help her? Help me?"

"I’ll make sure she'll never hear the end of it." Aelin laughed louder and Lorcan heard Rowan ask her what was going on. The blonde took breaths before saying, "Ellie flashed Lorcan and how he's stuck in the bathroom because he's afraid of a pair of nice-looking boobies."

"So are you planning on coming?" he asked before he completely lost his patience.

He imagined her wiping tears from under her eyes, "Yes, we'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"We?"

"Me, Ro and Fen. He's the one driving tonight and he picked us up."

"Okay," Lorcan murmured, "but they can't come up to the house."

"Why?" drawled Aelin, "Because you're jealous?"

He counted to ten, restraining himself from hanging up on her, "No, because this is going to be humiliating enough for Elide without two more of her friends seeing her half naked, so please just come up alone."

Aelin huffed, "You're right, but you're no fun."

They said their goodbyes and Lorcan put the phone down, starting to blow dry his hair.

"Lorcan."

"Lorcan."

"Lorcan."

Elide hadn't stopped saying his name for half a second throughout the call and it was starting to annoy him. Then he shook his head, no. He wasn't annoyed by Elide, it was Aelin.

That girl could get under his skin like few could.

"What?"

"You didn't tell me what you did today."

And Lorcan did, so that at least she would stop slamming her hand against the door.

He told her about the last man who'd come to see what dogs he could give his daughter and how he'd seemed so much like the guy who'd abandoned them on the side of the road after not even a week and it had pissed him off. He told her the morning had been even worse, because one of the children had started opening all the toys on display and his mother, who had been right next to him the whole time with her eyes fixed on the phone screen, hadn't stopped him and it had been up to Lorcan to tell him he couldn't do it. It was only then that the woman had realised what a mess it was and had simply apologised to him, running out of the shop so fast that he hadn't even noticed they had left. He had to call his manager and he was not exactly pleased to hear this story, but he also said that they would donate the toys to the church down the street, which was responsible for distributing them to kindergartens in the neighbourhood. That cheered him up a little.

By the time he had finished his story, Aelin had arrived and once he had taken her to her room. Lorcan could finally go out and get ready himself.

***

It was after midnight, the entire group was rocking out on the dance floor of their favorite outdoor club, a place called "The Wild Night" that was on the edge of town, closer to the forest than anything else, and normally Lorcan would have joined his friends to dance and sing, but there was a problem.

A big, huge, handsome problem.

And the problem was called Kyllian.

He couldn't figure out whose idea it had been to invite the boy with them that night, but whoever it was, this person's days were numbered, because Lorcan would kill them first and then use the limbs of their corpse to kill Kyllian.

Kyllian who had now been rubbing up against Elide for hours and who had offered her more drinks than stupid charming grins - and he really was reserving a lot of those for her.

"If you don't stop looking at him like that you're going to make his head explode," someone said, throwing themselves onto the small bench next to him.

He turned his head so fast he wondered how he had managed not to break his neck, "What are you talking about?"

Fenrys arched an eyebrow, "Even if you weren't staring at Kyllian like you wanted to see him disappear off the face of the earth, everyone here, including Elide," he told him with so much as a glare, giving him a slight shove, "would know that you're not really into what's going on on that dance floor."

"He's right," Rowan said to his left, sipping the drink of Aelin's she'd left him. When the hell had he sat there?

Lorcan didn't answer, remaining motionless with his sullen expression.

"I can give you a hand if you want," Fenrys murmured, sucking on the fuchsia straw sticking out of his equally pink glass.

He inhaled through his nose, "And how would you do that?"

"You have to trust me."

"Never." said Lorcan as Rowan said at the same time, "Don't."

Fenrys looked at them both with his mouth wide open and a hand to his chest, "I'm hurt." then finished what was left of the drink in one gulp and stood up abruptly, staggering a little, but holding himself up nonetheless. He cast a glance over his shoulder at the two boys still sitting, grinning, and Lorcan knew immediately what was going to happen.

"Ellie!" he shouted, turning more heads than necessary, "Love of my life!"

Kyllian pulled away from Ellie just enough for Fenrys to grab her hand and spin her around a few times until she burst out laughing and begged him to stop. The new boy didn't even seem to exist anymore as his best friend laced her arms around Fenrys' hips and rocked left and right, increasingly drunk.

Lorcan's heart clenched in his chest as he heard that sound so carefree, so happy.

He didn't realise he was smiling until Rowan cackled beside him, "God, you're fucked."

He didn't pay any attention to him and stood up, keeping his gaze fixed on her face.

He heard Lysandra and Aelin calling his name, hyping him up and threw them a real, quick smile that made them scream even louder, as if they were fans at one of his concerts. When he finally reached Fenrys and Elide's side, the blond spun her around ninety degrees and for a moment she closed her eyes, giggling, intoxicated by the amount of alcohol she had ingested, but when she opened them again and saw Lorcan standing in front of her, a smile as wide as he had ever seen it spread across her face.

"I'll leave you Ellie, you're in good hands," Fenrys told her, winking at him from above her head.

But neither of them even looked at him.

His eyes locked into hers as they both took a step forward and found themselves a caress away. Her chest rose and fell in an agitated rhythm. After all, she'd been dancing with everyone for hours, so much so that Lorcan wondered how she hadn't thrown up yet.

His gaze ran over her body, her bare shoulders, the line of her collarbones, and further down between her breasts. Breasts he'd had the chance to see for a millisecond a few hours before and remembered perfectly. The darker shade of pink that had characterized her-

"Lorcan."

He felt his heart pounding in his throat.

She had never said his name like that.

His eyes went up, sliding over lips so full, so perfect, up, over her nose and then up again, finding hers and the music changed, becoming slower, the lights dimmed as the strobes were turned off. Elide seemed to recognise the tune as her lips parted slightly, "Lor," she repeated. He raised a hand until his knuckles brushed her cheek and when she let go a shuddering breath, Lorcan began to sing under his breath.

"Tell me everything and hold no lies. Say you're waiting for better skies," he leaned forward as his other hand slid to her hip and Elide moved closer, until their bodies were fully joined to each other and one of her legs was between his and their hips were one thing moving in sync with the music. He felt Elide's breath against his neck and had to suppress a shudder when she too began to sing along with him.

"Oh, but honey don't taste like summer no more. Stick around now, I miss you every night,"

He lowered his head even more, brushing her nose with his own. The hand that had been on her cheek had slipped over her shoulder and was now tracing the path down her back, grazing the top of her bottom until it rested on her hip.

"Elide," he whispered, breathing on her lips. She closed her eyes, pushing herself up, towards him, and Lorcan held her tighter, moving his fingers over the exposed skin between her miniskirt and the black top she was wearing and there he was. Elide was there, with him, and she was so close to his body that he could feel the heart beating in her chest.

She was there and the next second... she wasn't. Because Elide had snapped away and was now vomiting on his feet. Lorcan held his breath as she was shaken by another gag and he had just enough time to take a step back that she threw up again.

The people around them quickly scampered away, creating a small circle of spectators and casting a quick glance at his friends he saw that they had a large audience. He just hoped Elide was too drunk to remember what happened the next day.

He looked down and grimaced, all sorts of emotions swirling inside him as the girl he loved clutched at him and puked her dinner all over his clothes.

He cursed at whoever decided how things went for breaking the best moment of his life with vomit and then gathered her hair into a loose ponytail, tying it with an elastic band he kept on his wrist specifically for these occasions.

He heard her whimper and put both hands on her shoulders, stroking her in circular motions to help her warm up. Aelin and Lysandra appeared next to them shortly after and when Ellie was firm enough on her feet to walk, they stepped over the pool of vomit and Lorcan wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pushing her towards the exit.

"Let's go home, Ellie."

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[malfoymania]

LOYALTIES | 4 | D.M

masterlist

CHAPTER FOUR

LILY KINGSLEY

The next morning when I wake up, I feel the sting of sleeplessness in my eyes. It took me hours to get to sleep, and once I did all I could dream about was Malfoy.

I slowly get ready for the day, not bothering with any makeup. Nothing is going to cover these bags even if tried. I slip on my robe and grab my wand before collecting the books I needed for todays classes. My first period was a new class that I hadn't yet been to since the start of the term: Potions with Professor Snape.

When i'm heading down the stairs into the common room, I hear the clatter of voices that fill me with dread.

"Morning Slytherdor! I'm surprised you still live in these dorms" Blaise shouts, earning a laugh from the rest of the boys. I don't respond but just huff in disgust and carry on down the stairs.

"I know, it's a shame they don't just put her in Gryffindor. No one wants her here anyway." Golye adds.

If I said their words didn't hurt me I'd be lying. Yes, i've never actually wanted to be in Slytherin, however my father was in this house and I have never actually done or said anything to hurt anyone. I swallow back the lump in my throat and head to breakfast, trying to ignore the immature giggles from behind me.

"Morning" Harry smiles as I take a seat next to him. Hermione and Ron are sat opposite, tucking into what looked like egg on toast.

"Bloody hell Lily, did you sleep last night? You look awful" Ron asks, mouth full of food.

"Wow thanks Ron, you look lovely too" I grimace, grabbing a slice of toast from the centre of the table for myself.

"What's up Lils?" Harry asks quietly, but both Ron and Hermione are listening.

"Malfoy's what's up" I mumble.

"Is be bothering you?" Hermione pushes, getting slightly angry at the possibility of him making me upset.

"He always bothers me, but it's as if he's trying one hundred times harder to make my life hell this year and it's only Wednesday."

I proceed to tell them about what happened last night. How he cornered me and called me by my first name. How he threatened me with his new prefect position and whispered in my ear. Harry and Hermione couldn't believe it. Ron however, lets out a laugh and nearly spits toast everywhere.

"Sounds like there's some sexual tension there if you ask me" He grins. I scoff and so does Hermione.

"Well nobody asked you Ronald" she seethes, giving him a glare to which Ron raises his hands up in surrender.

"It was not sexual tension. I loathe the boy. Everything that comes out of his stupid mouth makes me want to vomit." I roll my eyes and continue to eat but I have a horrible feeling deep down that Ron might be right. Sure, Draco Malfoy is the school bully, the asshole. But he's also the school fitty. He's gorgeous.

"Well I say you take the high road Lily, carry on ignoring him and you'll be fine" Hermione says, and I nod in agreement. I just need to stay away from him and keep myself to myself.

That plan didn't last long.

We're stood in a huddle at the back of Snape's class as he seats us for the next academic year, and he puts me next to none other than Draco Malfoy. Why wouldn't he? Out of all the students in the class he seats me next to him. It   would be crazy to think I could have been seated next to anyone else.

"Ignore Goyle, he doesn't know what he's talking about." Draco interrupts my thoughts.

"What?" I snap, not wanting to have a conversation at this moment in time.

"Earlier. It was kind of mean." I look at him to see if he's joking, but to my surprise it doesn't seem like he is.

"Since when did you care about what people say about me?" I retort, looking back down to avoid his stare.

"I don't" he quickly answers. "But I thought it was uncalled for that's all."

I don't respond. Mostly because I don't want to but partly because I don't know how to. I glance over at Harry who sends me a sympathetic look. Lucky bastard got seated next to Cho Chang, and we all know how Harry feels about Cho Chang. I raise my eyebrows back at him, directing my gaze to Cho and then back to him with a smirk. He blushes immensely and shakes his head before turning back around looking down at his desk.

"Potter got a crush then?" Malfoy asks, making me scoff.

"Gutted it's not on you?" I quip back, making him scowl.

"Shut up Kingsley. You think you're so funny."

"I know i'm funny." I respond.

"You're full of shit." He grumbles, opening the pages of his book. "I hate how you have an answer to everything."

"I hate how you have to comment on everything." I say, still not looking at him.

"You're a bitch."

"You're an asshol-"

"Good morning class. I will be your Potions teacher this year. Misbehaviour will not be tolerated." Snaps begins, putting a stop to mine and Draco's bickering session. "Turn to page 412."

We spend the lesson mainly in silence. Snape's lessons are often in silence, which isn't a bad thing considering who i'm sat next to.

When the class is dismissed I gather my things and leave the room as quickly as possible, trying to not spark another spat with Malfoy. Harry meets me by the door and we head off to our next class together.

The day continues as normal. Each lesson we slowly get back into the routine of school life and quickly forget about the real world back at home. I make a mental note to owl my dad this evening and let him know that i'm okay. He worries, and I promised him i'd keep in touch like I always do.

"How's your dad Lily?" Neville asks over dinner.

"He's fine thanks. Busy with work like always." I respond.

"Does he think Lord Voldemort's back?" Luna asks with pure curiosity. I try to swallow the food I just put in my mouth, but it goes down slowly and painfully.

"He um- yes he does." I say quietly, not wanting many people to hear.

"He can't say anything just yet though Luna, or he'll loose his job in the Ministry" Hermione adds, saving me from answering.

My father works along side the Minister of Magic, gaining his position there a few years after my mother passed away. He always told me how mum would have wanted to carry on making good in the world, so he's doing his best to do it for her.

"Well any way that we can help, let us know" she smiles, turning back towards her food. I look at Harry and I know he can tell what I'm thinking. He sighs and nods, giving us the all clear to start recruiting students to learn defensive spells. I look at Hermione and I can tell she's trying so hard not to combust on the spot, and i'm mirroring her actions too.

"Never mind her dad, I want to know how potions with Malfoy went" Ron grins, taking a mouthful of food.

"Why do you care so much?" I ask, annoyed at his constant obsession with the topic.

"Why have you gone so red?" He fires back. I immediately look away and touch my face.

"I haven't" is all I manage to respond with. "Besides, I spent the whole lesson arguing with him."

Thankfully the topic changes, and I finish my meal in peace. We manage to create a list of people who would be willing to join Harry's lessons and discuss where we will hold them. A productive meal time if you ask me.

After a few more hours of planning and discussing, I say my farewells and head back to the Slytherin common room just before curfew.

I'd prepared myself to be greeted by Malfoy yet again, but tonight there was no sign of him. I sigh in relief and lay on the sofa in the empty common room. I barely ever spend time in here, and when I do it's almost always empty. I don't have many friends in Slytherin. My roommates are okay, but they don't speak to me much. They're usually too wrapped up in their own conversations to even notice I'm there.

"Potions was fun." I hear from the doorway. I don't bother looking. I know exactly who it is.

"What do you want Malfoy?" I huff, closing my eyes to try and block him out.

"I'm having a conversation with you. What's wrong with that?" He responds, making his way over to where i'm lay.

"What is going on Malfoy? You hate me, and I hate you. What's with the sudden spark of interest?" I ask, now opening my eyes to see him peering over from the behind the sofa.

"You don't hate me Kingsley. I see the way you act around me. You don't know what to say half the time" he smirks. He's full of shit.

"I don't know what to say because you're a cocky, arrogant prick who thinks he can get whatever or whoever he wants. You're awful behaviour leaves me speechless" I scoff. He leans forward on the back of the sofa, so he's closer to me.

"Don't flatter yourself Lily. I would never want someone like you."

That's when my hand reaches up and smacks him right against the face. The sound of his skin against my hand echos around the common room, haunting me once I realise what I've done.

"Don't ever talk to me like that again Malfoy" I growl, the emotion laced within it clear that i'm holding back tears. I'm fucking furious, and I cry when i'm furious.

"Lily-"

"Don't call me that name. You don't deserve to" I snap, getting up and leaving towards my dorm, no longer being able to hold back the tears.

I hate Draco Malfoy, but what I hate even more is the fact that he's all I can think about.

-

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hey! thanks so much for all the support so far! it really means a lot☺️ let me know what you think so far in the comments!! there may be some draco and lily action in the next chapter ...👀

[gay-tanuki-aus]

 Soulmate AU

Setting: School

It is said that the first thing, whatever it may be, said to you by your soulmate, would be imprinted onto your inner forearm like a tattoo. So there may be instances where the first things said might be super vague, something like "hey" or "hi". Then there were also the super-specific ones like "I remember seeing you at the bar last night, you were gorgeous, but I didn't think to say hi- so it's funny how we're meeting here again at a supermarket in the grocery lane." Last but not least, there were ones where it was just plain confusing.

"'Hi, I was wondering what kind of program you used?' I mean, who even asks that the first time they meet?" Ally groans as she stares at her forearm. No matter how much she thought about it, it just seemed impossible. It was always said that your soulmate was who you'd spend the rest of your life with and that you'd be lucky if you ever met your soulmate in your teenage years. Not many meet their soulmate this early on, after all, the world is so big, to make sure the two people meet, would need many variables to align. This made Ally feel slightly better about not meeting her soulmate yet, even though that particular sentence still confused her. It led her to wonder what kind of circumstances she and her soulmate would meet in.

At this time, Donut was also wondering about her soulmate. 'CSP'. That's it. That's all that is written. What baffled her the most, however, wasn't the short 3 lettered word or acronym. It was the fact that she didn't know what CSP meant. It wasn't like she didn't try searching online either, but all she got was "content security policy". Content security policy?? In what world would the first thing your soulmate say to you be content security policy? Did that mean she would have to try and get a job in that? Or maybe she just had to ask her soulmate what the acronym for content security policy was. No, that'd just be plain stupid. Imagine going up to everyone and asking that. Donut laughs a little at the thought, but she can't help but wonder if that's really how she'd find her soulmate?

Thankfully for both, it didn't take long for them to meet. As fandom people, it was only normal to be producing and enjoying fanart and fanfictions. So that's exactly how, and when it happened. It was at lunch, Donut decided to go to the Steven Universe fan club. She always enjoyed walking through the club room looking at the fanart which usually lined the club room walls. As she scanned through them, a certain fanart caught her eye. Intrigued, she had tapped a nearby person to ask them who drew it, and they pointed her to a girl- Ally not far off, sitting at one of the tables scribbling away.

Walking up, Donut decides to start the conversation up different. "Hi, I was wondering what kind of program you used?"

"CSP." Ally answers without looking up. Neither had realized what just happened until a second later Ally looks up almost aggressively. This only confirmed Donut's thoughts as she let out a small gasp.

"You're my soulmate???" Donut asks almost unbelievingly.

"Ok, but why are you taller." Ally seemed conflicted. "No, I mean- un-ask me that- please!"

"WH- I can't just un-ask you something like that!" Donut almost laughs at the absurdity of the request, but also slightly disappointed at her reaction. Did that mean Ally wasn't her soulmate? Or maybe they weren't meant to be soulmates? It is often said that one would feel a spark when they met their soulmate, but none of what was supposed to happen was happening.

"Oh, right, sorry, that was rude." Ally apologizes almost embarrassed but seemingly deflated.

"Oh pfft, don't sweat it, it's good! You see, so many people can ask you the same thing- so it probably isn't even me, I mean there are so many people on earth- y'know?? I'm sure you'll find the right soulmate." Donut says starting to ramble in an attempt to cheer Ally up. "Plus, we can just be soul mates with a space in between. Yes. We will be great friends or mates in this case!"

And that's what they did. They became soul mates. Kind of like when one would say 'Oh, this is my girl friend, with a space in between the girl, and the friend.' They would talk for hours on end about their ocs, and that's when Donut realized something was wrong. Something very wrong indeed, she may or may not be catching some unwanted feelings for her soul mate. Which was wrong. So what does a normal person do when they figure out something is wrong? They deny it.

"Yeah, then there's that boundary between acquaintances and friends." Ally says thoughtfully. The two were currently sitting at lunch talking about different types of relationships.

"I have like- friendship tiers I list everyone in. As you said, there are acquaintances, then there are friends. For me, there are three levels of friends: 'just met', close friends, and best friends. Then there is the slightly different topic of girlfriends. For instance, Theo would be a close friend." Donut starts to list off a few more examples as Ally listens, "And you- y'know you're like a super great friend, but I wouldn't date you. I mean, it's not like we're actually soulmates." She adds shrugging a little.

"Yep." Ally nods and that was the conversation; their attention brought back to fangirling over their ocs. If Donut could give herself a rating on how she did, she'd say she did pretty good, except she didn't.

A few months pass and Donut realizes her feelings were back, or more accurately, never left. So she decided, if Ally was interested in someone already, she'd just be a good friend and her ultimate wingman, but if Ally wasn't, she'd ask her out or something. Or not, since she's an awkward gay.

"So do you have a crush on anyone right now-" Donut had started the conversation, she'd ask every now and then just out of curiosity, except this time, she was going to make a decision afterwards.

"Huh, I mean everyone has one right, so I guess." The two were sitting at lunch again, just talking and enjoying each other's company.

Donut took a bite of her sandwich before looking back at Ally, "Oh?? So you do have one?" Now she was curious about who caught her soul mate's eye. "Who is it?" She asked almost a little too curious.

Ally didn't think much of it, however, and just shook her head. "I'm not telling you."

"Whaaaat- why not??" Donut whines. She really wanted to know now, who the mysterious person was.

"Why do you want to know so badly??" Ally crosses her arms almost defensive, but more flustered.

"Because I'm curious!" Donut exclaims. "I mean, you'd be the same if I said 'Hey Ally, I have a crush too.'" Lunch was almost over by this time, but hopefully, she could figure out who it was before then. Maybe a little push would help.

"You do? Who is it?" It was Ally's turn to be curious. "Y'know you should totally just ask them out, if it were me, I'd just ask my crush out."

"Yeah right." Donut snorts. "Like YOU would actually go up to your crush and just ask them out. That's not something the Ally I know would do." Donut teases Ally nudging her playfully.

"Shut up!" Ally clicks her tongue. "You are underestimating this gay. I would definitely ask them out. Anyways, what's your crush like huh? Since it doesn't seem like you'd be telling me the name."

"You're right I won't," Donut says with a smug look. "And I ain't telling you none of that." She was wrong. They spent the rest of the lunchtime talking about what their crushes were like. Right before the bell rings, Donut decides to go for it. "Wait-"

"Yeah?" Ally asks turning around, she was getting ready to go to class, but she decided that could wait. "What is it?"

"Good- luck in class!" Donut says after hesitating. She was going to ask Ally out, but on second thought, she could wait until later, or just not do so at all. She's pretty good at procrastinating anyways.

"Really now, I saw you hesitate." Ally crosses her arms in front of her chest. School can wait, whatever Donut was going to say had to be way more interesting than spending an entire hour in class listening to the teacher drone on about a random subject.

"IT'S NOTHING OK, GO TO CLASS." Donut was extremely flustered by now, she didn't think Ally would think too much of it, and now it seemed like she would have to tell her what she was going to say. Ally laughs a little and that makes Donut blush even more. "D-don't laugh!"

"Well it's funny watching you struggle for words, it doesn't happen a lot." Ally snickers some more. "So what's up my soul mate?" She had an idea what this was about, but she didn't want to ruin the fun.

"You're enjoying this aren't you- Oh my god. YOU'RE SO MEAN. I'M REALLY STRUGGLING HERE. Alright. I'll tell you, but if you laugh I'm leaving." Donut grumbles as Ally nods and laughs again. "Well uh, I think you're really cute- and like full homo-"

"There you go. Congrats." Ally giggled. "But really, I wasn't expecting this."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when we had that conversation?"

"Which conversation- we've had many." Donut frowns trying to remember what Ally could be talking about.

"You said and I quote, 'You're like a super great friend, but I wouldn't date.'"

"That was-" Donut stammers completely forgetting they had that conversation, she then lets out an audible groan attempting to cover her face. "And like-"

"Yes?"

"Do you wanna like- go out with me?"

"I don't know hmmm-" Ally pretends to think about it. "What should I do..."

"C'MON ALLY. It's a yes or no question- the ones you're good at?" She then repeats in a slightly mocking but joking tone. "'Hey Ally, cats or dogs?' 'Yes'"

"Wooooow, don't make fun of me." Ally shakes her head in mock disappointment. "So rude. And I can't believe you don't want to be soul mates with a space anymore, I'm hurt."

Donut rolls her eyes a smile tugging at her lips. "So...?"

"Well- I have to go to class right now, so I'll let you know after school ok?? I'll definitely think hard on it." Ally winks as she turns to head to her class. Donut nods and gathers her stuff as well, there wasn't much time left to get to class before she was considered tardy. But that was hardly her concern at the moment. This whole thing had gone way better than Donut thought, and she was glad that Ally didn't flat out reject her which would've been quite devastating. On second thought, she also couldn't help but think maybe they really were soulmates.

TO BE CONTINUED...

(Because I can't write that much in one sitting plus I haven't spell checked anything so-)

[hangonimevolving]

The Iron String.

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”

--Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance

Here we are. It's August. Five months plus since the start of the U.S. pandemic, lockdowns, and general disruption to society. Over 5.26 million confirmed cases in the United States alone to date, and 167,000 deaths. Our world around us has changed.

Much of the last two months of summer for me were spent in an agonizing holding pattern concerning the almighty School Question. What would happen in the fall? Would schools be reopening? If so, how would that look - would we just act like life is normal, or would there be modifications to help prevent transmission of the virus? If so, what on earth modifications are even possible for young children that are reasonable, and to which little kids can even feasibly adhere given their ages and needs? If it proves too difficult to reopen schools, what would be the plan? Would there be some sort of virtual learning program, and how would it differ from the shifts that happened this past spring, with teachers scrambling to educate themselves on distance-learning technologies and teleconferencing utilities in order to teach a room full of kindergartners on Zoom? Surely, with several months to ponder the possibilities and plan for vairous contingencies, schools would be more prepared with better, more structured and thought-out plans for fall, than what they had in the spring... right?

Er, wrong. WRONG. The short version of how this situation ended, at least in our geographic area, is that the public school system (and my own kids' small, family-owned private school) made the decision to reopen to face-to-face teaching by the middle of July. Late in the game, both also hastily threw together a virtual option for students - but the virtual option was tantamount to a continuation of the fly-by-night Zoom teaching that had been put into effect at the very start of the lockdown.

I for one was entirely disappointed and disgusted with this. With SO much time to plan, this is really the best that could be done?! Bruh, NAW. I wasn't having it.

So blah blah blah, hem, haw, blah. Research, research, research. Reading, millions of review websites, forums, blogs, legal defense funds, Department of Education website, nonprofits, clubs and associations and collectives.... a phone call with an old friend from high school with over 10+ years experience, and a series of long and informative text message exchanges with two other friends, one a veteran with over 15+ years with three now-adult children, another a mom about my age of children about my kids' ages, facing this situation just like me and working through options just like me...... and, after all this, I knew exactly what I would be doing. What WE would be doing, in our family.

By June 13, it was official, and it was all systems go.

Ladies and gentlemen.... I am officially a homeschooling mom. Like, a LEGIT homeschooling mom. As in, I am doing a 100% parent-led homeschooling curriculum plan, FULL-time, with my two children.

I won't lie. In a million, bajillion, baskillion years, I don't think I ever intended to find myself in this place. I'll also say with honesty, that I have admired from afar the rare few homeschooling families that I somewhat know, and the flexibility and creativity with which they approach academics and learning in general.

I have also been increasingly dissatisfied and frustrated with the academic progress of my own children... Dr. Spouse and I have had long discussions where we've tried to speculate on the things that we haven't been satisfied about in our kids' schooling. The list has been long. But even as we were able to identify specific shortcomings in our children's particular educational environment, I've felt a rising sensation of control-freakism and bootstrapism in my chest, that has whispered to my conscience: "if you feel something is wrong here, don't sit around waiting for someone else to fix it. And, when you articulate your concerns in a constructive, non-threatening, but clear way, and people have smiled and nodded and claimed they'd follow up on those items, but in the end, they havent taken those concerns seriously - then it is time to man the f&* up and TAKE CARE OF THAT SHIT yourself. Because YOU are the only one you can trust. YOU are the only one who can do it right, in your own view. So either do it, or stop feeling dissatisfied about it."

So here it is. Our original plan, prior to the pandemic, was to switch the kids to the local (A-rated) public elementary school for this coming year. We had hoped that a change in environment, teachers, and the accountability of being a reputed school in the public school system, would mean more organization and oversight, and that hopefully this would translate into better academic progress in our kids.... but the pandemic changed all our plans, and besides, I don't know if more "in theory..." type things ever really translate to palpable, effective change at the individual level (at least not for me anyway, I never have such luck).

Rather than seeing this weird, surreal circumstance has having forced me into the homeschooling decision (which, maybe it sort of did) - - for reasons I can't explain, I dove headlong into it, with great excitement and hope. I can't really figure out how I have been as enthusiastic or jazzed about it as I have been - - but lookie, I'm jazzed! Seriously. From the moment we made the decision to do it, I felt like a 1,000-lb. weight was lifted from my chest. No more feeling anxious or on the edge of my seat about decisions that are being made outside of my control. In this matter - I stopped waiting for other poeple, and I TOOK CONTROL. For my own kids, anyway.

I'll write a detailed post at a later time about some of the particulars of the homeschooling plan that I am using, the research I did, the materials I ended up purchasing, the knowledge and insight I required while in the preparations phase, and other stuff. But, for now - I've droned on long enough. I'm gonna share some pictures now.

To bring it back to the start of this post - - with this homeschooling plan, I have found my iron string. I literally felt this resounding, reverberating sense of CONFIDENCE the moment that I decided to do this, and effectively brought Dr. Spouse on board. NEVER, in my life, have I felt so right about a decision. I feel a tremendous inner harmony about it - like I've come home to myself, if that's not too weird to say.

Sooo.... here are pictures of Week 1 of our great homeschooling adventure.

Obligatory "First Day of School" picture....

Our newly-tweaked home office - - now serving as our homeschooling classroom!

Particularly proud of our new training clock, our large-format calendar, and the "today's date/weather" board that I made with vinyl die-cuts from my Cricut, some chalkboard-surface Contact paper, and some rainbow sparkly duct tape :)

Spanish class: kids use a fun new app for two class sessions a week

Dey working on simple addition/subtraction with Teddy Bear Counters

Dey slaying his worksheets in Handwriting class - we're doing both print letters and cursive

Vev learning to tell time, and to recognize and convey the time in both analog and digital notation

After reading several history textbook chapters on the origins, diets, nomadic lifestyles, housing practices, and modes of dress among prehistoric humankind - we did a "History in action" lesson where the kids were given 10 minutes to construct a shelter out of a "mammoth skin" (blanket), "two tree branches" (pool noodles), and several large "rocks" (throw pillows). They didn't need the full 10 minutes :)

Vev enjoying one of his first chapter books - an "I Can Read" reader during a Language Arts learning block

After a week reading science textbook chapters about the earth's atmosphere, we conducted science experiments to better understand the properties of air! The boys had a "paper race" using construction paper and pieces of cardboard as fans, to race two paper structures across a finish line. They discussed their expectations and each articulated a hypothesis about which paper would travel faster, prior to conducting the experiment; afterwards, we determined whether our "guesses" (hypothesis) were accepted or rejected :)

This is just a smattering. There's been so much, and in only four days. I can't believe how much we are able to learn and cover in our homeschooling time. And the crazy thing is, we are able to do Phonics and Grammar, Reading, History, Read-aloud time, Math, Spanish, Handwriting, and Science in only about 3 hours per day. We integrate things like art, movement, current events, and practical life skills into pretty much everything we do, but on occasion we are even able to do a discrete, planned-out period of time for these topics too.

The iron string is taut, and secured in its proper place. We are ready for it to guide us through this school year.