#I can't just say he's my friend bc there's more. I can't say he's one of my hoes or something bc that's not accurate
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I forgot we were mutuals 😅
Last song: Alexandria Burning by Everybody's Worried About Owen (I think)
Favorite color: purple, but I'm more of a color combo person. Purple and green is my favorite, green and pink is great.
Last book: I'm currently reading "Night" by Eliezer Wiesel, but the last I actually finished was The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes when I reread it before the movie came out (yeah... I don't finish books very often)
Last movie: I'm pretty sure the last time I watched a movie was when I hung out with a friend. The last one we watched was Eli. It was pretty interesting for the first hour or so and then it was just like "he's actually the son of satan" so that was weird
Last tv show: I finished season 2 of arcane yesterday! If you follow me you probably know I have mixed feelings lol
Sweet/spicy/savory: I'm not sure about my favorite. I used to really like spicy food but recently I just. Cannot. I think I like sweet slightly more than savory but it really depends
Relationship status: single and not interested. A qpr would be great tho
Last thing I googled: "chest anatomy" I wanted to see what was going on bc I've had chest pain recently
Current obsession: that is a good question. I guess you could say arcane but idk. I'm kinda in between right now.
Looking forward to: the next time I can hang out with my friend and watch movies and snuggle
@asterism-unknown @weird-dork37 @howdoistormspirit @merirat and any other mutuals that I can't for the life of me remember your @
Ten people I’d like to know tag game:
Thanks for the tag @beauty-is-terrror
Last song: Swan Upon Leda by Hozier
Favourite colour(s): dark greens, navy blue, browns
Last book: reread Bacchae and other plays by Euripides
Last movie: Brideshead revisited
Last TV show: I don’t watch them
Sweet/spicy/savoury: savoury
Relationship status: cursed
Last thing I googled: name of the newspaper in my country
Current obsession: ovid
Looking forward to: Going to Switzerland next week
Tagging: @shinaaposts @siriuslyobsessedwithfiction @perpulchra @the-etcetera-archive (no pressure and sorry if anyone has been tagged before)
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i have... ✨Danyal Al Ghul Headcanons✨ but specifically for my yaelokre danyal oneshot
There's also the tumblr post here but I recommend the link in the title because its the ao3 version, and that one is edited and has some stuff in it that's not in the tumblr post, and will be the version I'm using.
So for summary: this Danyal is also from a Demon Siblings Au where Danny is five years older than Damian. However, things turned out a bit differently, and Danny and Damian had a fantastic relationship with one another. Danny loved music and regularly came up with songs to sing to Damian with. Specifically the folk band Yaelokre's EP "Hayfields" (seriously go fucking listen to it its sooo good. Harpy Hare is the second song but its my favorite. Special shoutout to @gascansposts for introducing the band to me)
He falls off a train when he's twelve and Damian is seven while the two of them and Talia are on mission. He ends up with magically induced amnesia and wakes up in Arkansas while the Fentons are on their yearly Divorce-iversary visit to Aunt Alica, and since he can only remember his name, he ends up being taken into their care.
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Yaelokre Danny has the same facial scar as Things in Threes Danyal, since he was initially another version of him where things turned out better. I'm debating on whether or not I should take it away however, and give him a different scar (maybe from when he fell off the train?), just because the scar is a pretty key identifier for Ti3 Danyal.
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Danny frequently visits Aunt Alicia in Arkansas! Well, only after he gets settled in and stuff. He doesn't really like the city that much and prefers the countryside where Alicia lives. I know she lives in a cabin but I'm changing it to a farm, so she puts Danny to work and gets him to help her.
I don't want to confine his hobbies to only being star stuff, because people tend to have more than one hobby and I feel like it reduces him to one-dimensionality, so he likes to garden, and learns guitar. His room becomes filled with plants, and he turns their roof into a rooftop greenhouse right below to OPS Center.
He has a complex relationship with the weapons from his past, but he's not... like... appalled by it? When he finds his weapons in the Fenton attic all he thinks is that they're his weapons, and he starts carrying a knife on him afterwards. Essentially he becomes fascinated with weaponry because its one of the few physical ties he has to his past, and while he's not training like he is in the League, he allows his strong muscle memory to guide him through his katas.
Danny likes climbing things. This causes Problems For Everyone Else.
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Danny was not the "kinder Al Ghul" in the League. His kindness extended to his brother and family, and that's it. To everyone else he had high expectations out of them, and the pride you'd expect from the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul and trained by its top members. While he wasn't like, unnecessarily cruel or anything, he wasn't merciful either.
This transfers post-train fall as him coming off as no-nonsense and unforgiving. He's not fond of the idea of giving people second chances, and is skeptical of the idea. He's disgusted by incompetency and views it as an unforgivable offense, especially if he thinks that the person should know better, although he's not sure why. Some egocentrism for the soul.
He doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't family, and gets irritated when anyone grabs him or holds onto him for extended amounts of time. Dash has gotten hit so many times. With Jack Fenton's tendency for abrupt physical affection, it doesn't make it any better. I'd argue it'd make it worse because Danny doesn't want to be touched more often than not.
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Danyal had a red scarf in the League that he wore on his last mission, it came off before he fell off and caught itself on the roof. Damian still has it and took it with him to Wayne Manor. He's got it locked in his room and takes it out when he's alone and missing Danny the most. One time he forgot to put it away before leaving his room, and Dick was visiting the manor for something and found it. Damian found him holding it and freaked out.
Dick could only say "I've never seen you wear this, Damian, this is really pretty--" before Damian shoved him to the floor and stole it out of his hands, before screaming at him; "Don't touch this! You don't ever touch this! This is mine! You hear me!?"
It caused such a commotion that the rest of the family present came to see what the fuss was about, and Damian kicked them all out of his room. Dick is the one brother Damian's the closest with, so the fact he reacted so strongly shocked them all.
This is likely what leads to the "Danyal" conversation.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#yaelokre danny#yaelokre danyal al ghul#the yaelokre danny post didn't really go into him interacting with other people but i'm trying to figure out his personality post amnesia#just know this: he's not canon danny. im spitefully refusing to make him a Cookie Cutter of canon danny because the idea pisses me off lmao#he's complex and confused and morally gray even with the amnesia bc memories aren't stored in one part of the brain they're stored#in different parts depending on the memory and muscle memory exists and danny might not actively remember the things that shaped him but hi#body does. and somewhere deep in his mind so does his brain. his memories weren't destroyed theyre locked away in a place where his active#conscious can't reach. plus its magic amnesia and i have comic AND cartoon realism on my side.#danny's personality from the league doesn't get challenged that much by the fentons because danny's learning this about himself just as muc#as they are. Jazz can't “Fix” what's wrong with him when neither of them know it and Danny is always the first to figure it out and then#keeps it to himself. Also. Jazz has a fucking life? she's not the family therapist she has friends and hobbies even if we the viewers don't#see it. But also i just really deeply despise the idea that Jazz “fixes” danny's league issues just by existing and being the therapist#because it waters her down into a one-dimensional character who only exists in the context of providing emotional support and life advice t#danny. also therapy only works on someone that's actively trying to change. otherwise its just psychoanalyzing and people tend to hate#being psychoanalyzed without consent. which as a result may have them refuse help. anyways point is: i believe that growth is slow and#complex and danny would hide a lot of the stuff he discovers about himself because if there's one thing he still retains from being an#assassin. it's how to hide. he likes jazz but there are some things you just hide from people.#damian also told dick to “keep his filthy hands off his things”. which was also a shock because it sounded something he'd say more to tim#damian was distraught the entire time.#okay thats all i have for now.
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it's honestly so hard to explain that you care for someone you like without using the words love
#I've been asked a bunch some time ago how the whole me being aromantic and my girlfriend not being worked#and like. idk man. it just does#she loves me I'm fine with it it doesn't bother me it's sweet it's a little scary#and it's like. if I say I dont love her it sounds so fucking wrong? but if I say I do it sounds like a lie?#because I like her and I like her more than the usual friend#but I just. I don't /love/ her#same with my boyfriend tho that guy is like weird and special bc first love and all#well not really. but kind of. but not really I loved other ppl#but he was one of the very few ppl I actually felt something close to romantic love for#it's so hard explaining aromanticism man. it's such a Feeling#like explaining love is already hard#blehg#aromantic#mumblings//#june if you see this I am kissing you on the mouth RIGHT this instant#I don't think ash will see shit he's never on tumblr but like whatevs (<- devastated jump can't see its boyfriends sour comments everywhere)
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WATER SEVEN BABYYYYY
Look at robin reacting when luffy says he wont give her up.... 🥺🥺
This is a joke right now but its actually a one piece tenet aldjsisjka
Usopp aksbaksjakqk the foreshadow is foreshadowing... Also Robin being happy with the crew after the Aokiji incident... Fuck!!!!
Sanji thinking robin just vanished or flew away and suddenly usopp is soaring thru the skies... imagine
AAAAARGGGGHHHH YOU CAN SEE THE GEARS TURNING
Zoro talking to merry..... only while he is alone of course
Why are nami and sanji matching ajdhakjsk look at the citrus sisters
Carpenter: maybe it was the government
Gov agent: I don't think so, also don't say that they are everywhere
LUFFY SUPPORTS WOMEN'S WRONGS!!!
Don't scream att chopper like that!!! Look at him... So small....
Imu tease???? (No) (Also I've changed websites again bc the translation is kinda off , I can't find a good quality b&w spanish translation and the colors scare me (i want the real manga experience))
GET HIM ICEBURG!!!!
I truly forgor if this is just a lie about her wanting to find the rio poneglyphs or genuine because she wants to die and will do it for them... because in skypiea she says she is not interested in the weapons so maybe if the gov pardons her but considering what she wants is illegal then idk abdjabjs this is such a dumb thing to forget... like thats important girl where did it go (reading this after remembering and it's kinda funny... i will make any sacrifice to kill myself (and keep you safe)... she goes HARD)
Little paulie and mozu and kiwi.... omg hello (the SBS says the twins wanted to be shipwrights too omg)
Franky's backstory is small but it does so much for me like it is so central to the themes... boats and people...
DID SOMEBODY ORDER MORE TRAGIC BROTHERS?
The fact that franky needs to learn this lesson to pass it on to robin.... do you understand how big this is.... also Tom does exactly as he says and takes responsibility for franky and what he has done... because he has done nothing wrong AND THAT'S HIS SON and he just punched spandam bc he wanta him to feel the pain franky feels... Tom is such a man..... proud of having built eater 7 up with the sea train.... goes out with a boom.... should we all kill ourselves....
I am crying again................... franky my god.... and the fucking frog!!! And of course franky can't stop Tom's hope for his island... of course he can't.... he hasnt learnt the lesson yet but this guy isn't over yet!! He has a life of being a pervert cyborg ahead!!! Iceburg following Tom's footsteps but franky not being able to do that bc of his guilt....
This is one of the coolest things chopper has done btw...
NAMII 😭😭😭
Robin damning the world for her crew when all she has ever done is damn her companions for her own sake.... how big is this...
I can't take this...... it's always nami in these positions... it happens AGAIN in Zou with Sanji... there is no way
The love letter gag is too good like damn that's so funny
AND IT'S NAMI GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!! SHE LOVES ROBIN SO MUCH!!!!
#OOOH GRANDPA TEASE!!! he wanted to see luffy too?? omg and he owes garp a favor so he is going to kill him... alright then....#robin attacking FIRST and ZORO coming to her defense!!! CHEFS KISS!!! INCREDIBLE#my GOD!!! ROBIN WANTING TO LEAVE HER PAST BEHIND BC SHE TRULY HAS BEEN CHANGED BY THEM AAAAHHHH#this is so good... aokiji had to end crocodile and he still has a debt to someone (garp?) AND smoker told him stuff about luffy too#kokoro is such an mvp... be careful with the government agents she says.... hell yeah they should do that#the people in water 7 just giving advice to the pirates akdhaksjak sure go fix your boat but down there#robin laughing like ufufufu is so cute... also kalifa knowing everything bc she is literally a gov agent 💀 ICEBURG WAKE UP!!!#lucci pulling out the ship of theseus response akdhakaj conundrum solved everyone!!!#usopp is so heartbreaking already... beaten he goes to franky to get his money back knowing he will lose bc he wants to fix the merry... go#zoro cutting steel like its nothing... yeahhhhh also does luffy think the ship and usopp are like sanji and the baratie??#he wants to sacrifice himself for it but doesn't realize his life is the treasure and not the thing... luffy realizing this is not worth it#the fight was insane.... usopp feels useless and is enmeshed with the merry so he won't let it go and tells luffy does not care when he doe#so luffy gets mad at usopp for lying and not understanding what is going on and says he is not a carpenter (true but hurts) so he is nothin#god it is so bad... sanji breaking p the fight is so important AFTER zoro says to calm down and talk but they rile each other up...#THE DIALOGUE IS INSANE!!!! USOPP IN DENIAL AND LUFFY TAKES ALL OF HIS BAIT IT'S JUST SO AJDBAKSNSKN AND THE ONLY LIES ARE WHAT USOPP THINKS#ABOUT LUFFY!!!! BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND!! HE JUST FEELS!! HE SAW MERRY!! THE ONLY ONE!!!#luffy just laying on the hammock for hours... telling nami usopp wouldnt give up his life for an argument... then he only needs to fight...#is luffy fighting usopp just so he can de stress kind of??? like he is letting him get his punches in and then he will come back#once he thinks things through... like nami did... and what sanji ends up doing too... like just give him what he wants#luffy likes fighting friends even and this is the only fight he doesn't want.... the merry crying GOD!!!!#the impact dial... it hurts them both.... jesus.... luffy got two hits in but those were enough.... they are making nami cry SANJI KILL THE#everyone is crying but sanji and zoro akdjsks yeah luffy got him what he wanted... he can keep the ship but he can't beat him#and after all if strength is made by conviction luffy knows he is right and usopp is just in denial... so of course he would lose#franky reveal and Robin assassin reveal at the same time.... just remembered when usopp asked her specialty and robin said assassinations 😭#luffy nami adventures hell yeah.... and theres even more after the aqua laguna... LETSGOOOOO#goddamn you can see the thread of kuzan finding robin with the strawhats to then cp9 forcing her to act in water seven....#franky acting weird because he is worried about iceburg... i know it...#iceburg: its weird youre working for the government... but thats for the audience to worry about. not for me#pluton was built on water seven ✍️✍️✍️ also iceburg saying weapons are bad no matter who holds them... yeah franky would agree#reading one piece
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i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡
dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)
#sexyman polls but instead its all just mtt and peoples' aus and varients#i COULD NOT be able to vote. it would be hell for me WHO WOULD I CHOOSE#i CAN'T choose dude i literally wouldn't be able to at all#do i vote for og mtt my pookies??? or jk mtt my besties???? or mst my children????? WHO DO I VOTE FOR#i think i would be biased to the murder swap trio. i haven't mad any content for them at all but like#i spent my TIME and EFFORT into them. and they are cool ngl i really like their concepts#too bad swapinverse isnt seeing the light of day until goddamn 2026 or something because i cant be bothered to make content of it#oops! savior mania paranoia you guys are JUST FOR ME. just me only! nobody else gets to see you guys#or literally anyone else in swapinverse.... i love swapinverse.#they need to make the tag limit like 60 or something i have too many thoughts#quite a few too many times on my posts have i hit the limit and then had to choose#my tags trembling in fear as i pick and choose which to delete in order to make space for the fandom tags#tricule rant#i still have more tags time toRAMBLE!!! i love the idea of dust and horror having opposite ish souls#like dust's soul is PACKED with magic. like crackling and sparking and glowing purple with just how much he has in there bc of his LV stuff#i dont believe in the idea that dust suffers physically from LV or whatever because like. when has that EVER happened#its a cool idea though and i get to pick and choose which headcanons i believe in as god of these fictional characters and creations#anyways OBVIOUSLY horror's soul is dim and shriveled and looks like a fucking dead leaf. because lack of food lack of magic#even though he very clearly DOES have a lot of magic and shows it multiple times in horrortale.....#ok triglycercule you keep contradicting yourself. stop it. BUT THERES TOO MANY MTT HCS OUT THERE!!! AND SOME OF THIS IS CANON!!!!!#god the mttverse is gonna kill me one day too many interpretations TOO MANY CHOICES#anyways i just like that soul idea bc of the contrast. dust too much magic horror not enough. horrordust real#and then killer pulls up with his yn main character ass unique soul with stages#the GET OUT sound effect plays. anyways they all love eachothers souls and unique differences in them#everyday im reminded of the fact that killer is a little. just an EENSY bit more of a special character that horror or dust#he has too much shit going on someone assassinate him. preferably two fellas with names starting with H and D alternatively M#i love coming up with various sayings to kill/shut myself up. someone sedate me#i just remembered this dream where i say to my friend i hope ___ gets into a sticky situation#and then ___ goes into a bathroom comes out and then someone else says ___ WHY ARE YOU ALL STICKY#it was so funny i laughed myself awake. it was SO funny. i saw this person in school today
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I think "you are also that which others do not see" is a very important motto to have in the age of social media n people being able to advertise the best aspects of themselves while hiding the worst.
Just cuz others see the good doesn't make up for the bad parts. That's just pure vanity at that point. But at the same time, the things you keep for yourself, the joys you alone get to experience, those too are part of you.
Everyone has a thousand things to love within them and ten thousand things to hate that never sees the light of say. Why would we rather live acting like the moment something bad is visible it ruins everything else? Can't we live knowing that we're all a bunch of animals trying to survive, and the fact that we can find something to love at all is truly amazing?
#no?#bc it wont make a profit for the beauty wellness n “health” industries?#okay :-(#i also think a big reason we grasp onto each bad thing#is bc we're trying to see what that bad thing says about the person#“if they're so sick theyd be like that in public imagine what theyre hiding”#but thinking like this is a symptom of the problem#we get uncomfortable at the sight of abnormality n think theres a reason for everyone to be this way#we like to think the person speaking calmly down to the person sobbing is the one who's better#but just as much as it could be someone whos calmly reassuring a friend#someone who could be asking someone who suffered first hand at something to defend why that shouldnt happen#just cuz it looks better doesnt make it better. just cuz its emotional and raw doesnt make it wrong#my point isnt to say all discomfort with emotion is a bad thing#In fact its the opposite. we have to be aware of those things. but we cant trust our discomfort anymore#we are uncomfortable from yelling because we fear of what the knife in his hand could do#my point is that bc society has focused on what the yelling “might mean”#we can't hear a grown man yelling about how he fucking loves ice cream without thinking about a knife#and people who intend reap harm know this and take advantage of this. they use the calmness to take control of the dynamic#to abuse the social pressure to get their way without being viewed negatively#and can demand that those suffering jump through more n more hoops to prove the goodness they have in them#i just think we need to stop demanding people prove they're deserving of love n kindness. n start asking why people are demanding they do
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Processing some things
Also the fact that he's crouching with his hands on his knees is so cute to me for some reason?? He does this in another episode too - the one where Chakotay finds a symbol on an unknown planet...it's just so adorable to me. He could just lean down but no. Also of course his fingers are spread again - GOTTA utilize the whole hand whenever you do ANYTHING (if you're Tuvok)
#anyway. he's so pretty I'm gonna bite my arm off spongebob style.#Tuvok in the Maquis: I'm gonna spy on these criminals but also?? I'm gonna try out a new eyeshadow look.#Tuvok calling Neelix 'sir'....one and only time v_v treasure it Neelix#Do these replicators make clothing? (yes.) Will they make me a uniform like yours~?? (No. They most CERTAINLY will NOT. <3)#<- also Neelix is naked and Tuvok brought him a towel in a way that was very theatric but also very 'lets dry you off'#like...not just handing it to him#I love Neelix's scrappier early seasons vibe <3<3#I also like whenever he was like 'GOD these Starfleet people are a bunch of BABIES...eat the damn leola root. It's good for you~!'#I FROGOT KES WAS HELD CAPTIVE BY THE KAZON???? KES ARE YOU OK???#Kes: I'm told I'm too curious...it's my worst quality~ <- and then the writers never let her out of sickbay#In my ideal world Kes & Neelix are like brother and sister (harkens back to Neelix's lost family and gives a slightly more sympathetic#reason for his overprotectiveness which would now not be romantic jealousy but still something he had to let go of for them to truly be#friends) and also Kes tried every work station aboard Voyager...every episode she's somewhere new but her MAIN job is still in sickbay#Kes is in a pseudo cult and she said nu uh I believe in a different pseudo cult and I love that for her#Kes: I don't want to be dependent on the caretaker!! (reasonable) Our people have magical mind's abilities that allow us- (ok Kes)#just bc she was right doesn't mean it's not a WILD thing to think HEhehehe#SNRKEHEHEHE HARRY STOP TOM CAN'T TAKE THIS#Tom: How can I let down the only friend I've got~? / Harry: Friend? What makes you think I'm your friend~? / Tom: -sobbing into his pillow-#Neelix saying 'Well...the fool needs company!' ok <3 I'm twirling my hair a little....got a bit of rizz...#literally an hour ago he was willing to leave them all for dead and now look at him#OUG hTom Paris the racism....ough the racism...not even the fantasy alien kind.......oaaau ugh oh it hurts the real world racism.....#TOM NO STOP TALKING!!! TO M NO THE RACISM - TOM PARIS !! TOOOOM!!!!! <- walter white screaming meme#(remembers its Harry's FIRST mission) a different kind of pain....#Janeway and Tuvok holding hands: We're so fucking doomed. This is a terrible position and we have to do what's morally right but#by doing this we're going to be trapped here - maybe for the rest of our lives and not just us but the entire crew. But we have to#do this horrible thing BECAUSE we're good people.#<- not enough attention is paid (including by me bc I forgor) to the fact that Tuvok was with Janeway when she made that decision#and backed her up...just a sad little moment to themselves#OOF Tom...three for three on the racism....TOM#Neelix's sales pitch...yeeAAAH~!!
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#this might be both oversharing and being too vague rn but it's 2am and i'm emotionally exhausted#i can't believe during one of the most traumatic moments i've had in the past year i was lucky enough to have scott as my biggest supporter#the entire time as i was going through it he was so supportive giving me space to process shit and always having my back#and yet there are some people in my life who are always going to villainize him for one comment he said during that time out of context#or even if they're not ''villainizing'' him i now feel like i have to begin every sentence about scott with#''yeah we don't agree on everything but we're still friends and isn't that amazing!''#which yeah that is true and i do genuinely enjoy when scott and i disagree and are respectful about it#BUT WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAY ABOUT HIM????#and honestly that whole experience made me agree with scott on way more than i started out with#i'm proud of how i was able to grow as a person and for the fact that it brought me and scott much closer together#but that shit i went through at my college was still traumatic. and it did change me as a person#it completely changed my relationship to activism in a way i'm not happy about bc i want to be more of an activist#but when i had someone use social justice language to justify horrible things against me it's hard not to be wary#of how hollow and performative a lot of conversations can be#and like i'll even say it. like people might get mad at me for admitting it#but that whole traumatic situation has irrevocably changed my relationship to gender as well#or at least how i label myself and how i move through these conversations#and in some ways i'm grateful for it bc i do feel like i know myself more and like i don't have to worry about what others' think#or even what other people understand#but it shouldn't have had to go down like that. and as much as the time i got to spend with scott during that time was so much fun#and such a great experience and he was truly the perfect support system during that time#he shouldn't have had to deal with that and neither should i#and the fact that scott somehow got villainized in some people's minds while the person who actually caused that trauma#is instead treated like ''yeah he was a bit misguided and made a mistake but he was probably anxious about it!! he's just a person!!''#that's never going to stop being painful. especially the idea that with the importance people put on labels#i would supposedly have more ''community solidarity'' with that asshole than a cis gay man like scott#idk i think i'm past the timeframe of that traumatic experience bc it's not consuming every day like it used to a few weeks back#but something triggered it tonight so i just need to process it. anyway shoutout to scott for being there for me i really needed it
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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i don't read enough loz fic to know what the popular fanon is so maybe this already exists but there should be a revali and zelda besties agenda i think it would be good for them
#loz#botw#zelda#revali#i will be posting tonight like the champions never died#anyway just decided this. I think they would've initially bonded over having the same issue with link#cause they both initially don't like him bc they both view him as having had his destiny handed to him basically#while they work and work and work and still feel that they aren't seen as good enough#and then I think the fact that revali is really abrasive would be appealing to zelda tbh#cause she's a princess and often very composed in most of the memories she's having to sort of suppress a lot of her emotions#like she obviously gets very loud and angry with link but I really don't think that's her normal behavior#I think she does that both cause obviously he's the person it's easiest to pin all her frustration on#but ALSO because he's the only one she really CAN yell at. the people she's frustrated at are her 1. her dad#2. herself. and 3. link. other people around her would seem generally blameless for The Situation#she can't yell at her dad there's only so much you can do about hating yourself and no one ever wants to acknowledge that you hate yourself#you'd rather just hate someone else. and link is the easiest target of the three#and then on top of that link is generally very unreactive which pisses her off to no end initially#BUT does make yelling at him a thing with no consequences#anyway that was long winded but what I'm saying is that zelda is a person surrounded by very composed people#who has to be very composed herself. link being the one exception. but she's so angry and sad all the time#and not often able to vent her frustrations#BUT revali is so abrasive and rude like I think if zelda was friends with him it would be a great bitch4bitch moment#and then on revali's end like I think zelda would be SO fascinated in the science behind his flying technique#and he'd fucking preen at that he'd love it he'd be like she hates that twink too AND she appreciates my skill. ideal bestie material#and he doesn't seem like a very spiritual person. bird. bird person. so while I definitely don't think he's THE ONLY person#telling zelda “hey you don't need to be doing this much praying your other contributions are good also”#it's still always good for zelda to have more people in her corner#and I do think he'd acknowledge the skill she has in other areas bc it's something she worked hard on I think he'd do that#realizing 90 percent of that was “why zelda needs revali as a bff” and not the other way around#always thinking of my girl exclusively it's true. never beating the zeldapilled allegations
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sometimes I think about The Last and want to scream
#I hate that I love it I hate that it's so out of pocket and uncalled for and downright out of line but SO COMPELLING AND FASCINATING#LIKE THE CHARACTER WORK THAT ONE AUDIO DOES IS INSANE???????#Everyone In This TARDIS (which is missing) Is Suicidal#and I am not even kidding they ARE#C'rizz seeing ghosts. he always sees dead people but this isn't that it's just that he's almost like them but not quite yet#he's always been haunted it just happens more now.#eight's failure and perception thereof he hates himself but still thinks he's the only one who can handle it but he can't handle it#charley who's been on the other end of it who knows what c'rizz has been through and done and who knows what it's like to be asked#STILL asking him to kill her if it comes to it even though she KNOWS it would shatter him bc it already HAS and it already shattered HER#and eight oh eight oh doctor at the end of his rope I am in fact always thinking about the way he says oh what the hell at the end of it#he doesn't care if he lives or dies he's at the end of his rope and has lost all hope he's failed everyone who loves him not only charley#who miraculously still trusts him to some degree even after he broke her into pieces not only charley who he loves#but also c'rizz who did still have that open honest trust in him c'rizz his hesitant beginning to be friend#c'rizz who he understands and who understands him bc the kinship and silent bond between them existed even then#someone remind me to go get my rant on scaredy cat's importance and spruce it up I need to talk about it#because the doctor did love c'rizz too he DID charley was wrong!!! the writers were wrong!!! everyone was wrong about them!!!#he LOVED him but it was so different as to be almost unrecognizable I'm going to CRY#THEY MEANT SO MUCH TO EACH OTHER ALL THREE OF THEM THEY COULDN'T EXIST WITHOUT EACH OTHER ANYMORE#THEY LOST ONE THEN THE OTHER AND NONE OF THEM WAS THE SAME ANYMORE#only in the Last it happened in the wrong order. not the way it was supposed to be.#Lu rambles#dweu#meta finding tag#eighth doctor#charley pollard#c'rizz
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Pausing my op marathon so I can watch the movies and other shows while the current arc keeps going 🫡🫡
#also wano was such a thing.... like so well constructed.... so much background.... can't believe i am nearly caught up. this is insane#i am like 2 months too soon. i thought i was gonna spend the whole uni year watching it. well.....#i think dressrosa was good but at the same time luffy doesn't have the connection to the people of the island he has in wano or others...#it is mostly law's story that pulls you in and that's good but i love me my luffy so wano and what they did to get to gear 5.... too good#just saying shit at this point... retrospective i guess....#gyojin island was great to me bc it was mostly lore and i loved the end with jinbe#and shirahoshi and luffy were too good together. rude little man and a big ass scared siren. incredible showstopping#punk hazard was too funny. had a blast and law was a menace... also tashigi my friend tashigi... and smoker....#wci was emotional to say the least. luffy suffered more than jesus but somehow sanji cried more which i loved to see....#NOW i would have liked for wano to be zoro's story too... which kinda was but i wish he had important relationships with people that are not#luffy or his swords you know. but tashigi wasn't there and i think she is central to where his character is going so. i will wait i guess...#goodbye my sweet darlings.... buggy is waiting for me in the title screen of the next episode but i have to say goodbye for now....#i will see you in your non canon movies.... farewell.....#fuck i have exams next week... this is so bad for my op marathon stats.....#talking tag#watching one piece
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Thinking abt AITSF and the ownership of bodies
#Like my immediate first thought was about Date and [spoiler] and like. Damn. And I realize now the other character I wanna talk abt is also#Super spoiler heavy anyway spoilers for AITSF#Fuckin... it's saitos body but it's Date's body too. Is that fair though? Is Date isn't maliciously or even intentionally taking it Saito i#Literally the problem but like. Does that take away his right to his own body. He made a bad choice that he regrets and refuses to accept#Responsibility/accountability for but also like. That's his fucking body he was born in. And if u take into account the oxytocin thing. Man#Idk its just. He wanted to try rohans body but then he wants his own back. Despite the fact it probably made him miserable.#And dates just hanging out in there but his 'original' body is equally alien bc what the fuck man he's been Date for 6 years and this was#Date's fucking body bc. It just was god damn. So the question is if one of the two somehow deserves the body more. Which I think is#Obv a fucked up question but like. Yknow. You probably shouldn't lose the rights to ur body bc of being a bad person bc yknow human rights#Are human rights but also there's no malintent from date initially and he also Did Not Make The Choice so like. Who gets the body in the#Divorce. Anyway they're both Serial killers so like.#Anyway manaka.... in the warehouse... I could maybe contrast this by saying smthn abt date and Saito being two owners of one body while#Manaka is divorced from her own body. But idk. Manaka wasn't given a proper funeral for a long long time. Would she have wanted one?#Her body helped solve the case but. Damn. She doesn't have any wants bc she dead but still. I don't think anyone would want their body#Frozen like that for years. I think she'd at least want a grave her daughter and friends could visit. But she can't have that#Anyway fuck so sejima I wish he died in canon
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starting a new job tomorrow (monday) morning and am feeling about 72 (million) different things all at once because of it
#scared - so scared i will mess this up too#scared no one will like me#scared i will not be good at this#afraid i will hate the job#what if something happens to make me late - like witht he car tomorrow#just - it's new and there are so many unknowns and i don't like unknowns - they're just SCARY#and i don't want to eat lunch alone and i feel like i'm going to be and rn it's not a comfortable alone - it will be in time i know#but rught now it doesn't feel like alone by choice - it feels like alone by dint of ew no one wants to eat lunch with you - which sucks#and my aunts - or one of them anyway sent congratulations to me via one of the people i live with - who are speaking to them more than i am#the last time the aunts corresponded with me - it was via text abd they basically did tough love intervention style texting#which - they had every right to say how they felt - and i think they were right about some things#but it also felt like they were kicking a puppy when it was down - and well - i was the puppy being kicked#so when i got the job and one of the friends i live with asked if i would call my aunt(s0 to tell them i said no#i know they love me but i'm not interested in putting myself in a position to feel lambasted again#you saying you're proud now doesn't mean much any more - i needed you to say that you loved me then#that you knew i was messing uo but that you loved me regardless and you knew i could do better - not the yelling at via text that i got#you don't get both - i can't handle both. so yes fine i know you love me but it's going to be from a distance#and i love you too in some kind of way - one that right now is hurt and sad because i don't think you care how i feel at all#but i am trying to do right and do better - and i don't want to do things from spite but#i admit there is a part of me that when i get to better place - i want to be able to say - no i'm not contacting them bc idgaf#but i also know that's not likely to be true and isn't kind and not how i realy want to live and be#and wow that really turned into one hell of an emo tangent#anyway - i'm stopping myself now - i got some catharsis there and i need to get ready for bed so i won't be a total mess in the AM#if anyone has actually read this all please wish me luck - i could use it#and i know i will have to make the luck on my own anyway#i just keep thiking of- what if i fall? but oh my darling what if you fly?
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how lucky we are to live in a world where there is an official stage recording of cats the musical where you get to see john partridge as rum tum tugger up close and in (relatively) good quality
#if i had a time machine i would travel back to the late 90s/early 00s and watch him perform live#it's the way he MEANS every single movement he makes and every single word that he sings#esp the meaning every single word like!!#it's one thing to be able to do that in your own native language but doing it in a foreign language? that's a whole other thing#and my dude john partridge goes on stage and not only nails the role in english but in german too#honestly what the FUCK#like. even in german you can tell he MEANS what he says#(source: the recordings from berlin 2003 that i found on youtube)#cats#airenyah talks acting#airenyah plappert#it's also the way that technically rum tum tugger is supposed to be a literal pussy magnet#but the way john partridge portrays him he comes across much more like a showman (showcat?)#that simply likes the attention (and that's what the girl cats are giving him! attention!)#his rum tum tugger is a performer who knows he's hot shit and thrives on being the center of attention#bc you can't perform without an audience#but at the same time he also knows when to take a step back and let someone else shine in the spotlight#just look at the mr mistoffelees song#like. he'll absolutely take the spotlight when he's telling you all about mr mistoffelees. he's putting on a big show presenting his boy#but he's also showing off his (boy)friend and making sure every single person (or cat) knows how amazing of a cat mr mistoffelees is#he's all ''look at me while i'm telling you all about this fantastic cat and now stop looking at me and just watch how amazing this cat is'#giving him all the spotlight#same thing in the old deuteronomy song#he joins in in the narration but not in an ''i'm gonna steal the spotlight'' way but instead he has a conversation with munkustrap as equal#and then when old deuteronomy shows up he stays back#and you can tell just how much respect he has for old deuteronomy and how much he adores him#and also that he respects munkustrap (see: conversation as equals)#anyway. john partridge as rum tum tugger. that is all.#(it's so funny bc when i was like 8 i was so obsessed with rum tum tugger. like. SO obsessed. like. half in love with him obsessed)#(and now as an adult who knows a thing or two about performing i'm like. oh. OH. little!me had a point even if she didn't know why)
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also today is like a day for crushes bc this morning i saw the guy i had a crush on freshman year at a mf denny’s and me being as slick as i am just stared at him for like 4 seconds
#its also his fault bc i was gonna smile after he did but he just waited for me so i looked away bc i couldn't take it#eye contact is insane#he stared too though so i'll just think he's weird so it cancel's out the fact that he'll think i'm weird ;)#also i was with a bunch of aunties so maybe if i did smile it'd cause problems#bc brown aunties are the most problematic :))#YES HE WAS MY ONE AND ONLY DESI CRUSH#NEVER CRUSHED ON MY RACE OTHERWISE LOLL#we played together a bit as kids bc he was my friend's cousin but then we ended up going to the same highschool#we had no classes together but i still ended up crushing on him lol#idk how im such a loser#but the last interaction i had was i was walking across the school near the end of lunch and crossed paths with him and his friend#and while looking into my eyes he smacks his friend on the ass and then smiles and says assalamu alaykum ;)) as if hes the most halal bro#his poor friend was like bro :')#and i just said hi bc i can't say more than two syllables to people i barely know in passing bc my throught closes up#throat*#i didn't like him then btw this was my k era#ngl he still cute#kinda#i don't like him though i have no time im fr so busy
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