#I can't imagine a worse fate for him and the mere thought of it makes my tragedy-hungry Grinch heart expand two sizes

[arealtrashact]

What is it you hope for the ending of the Boys? What about the end for homelander?

I'm sure it will come as a shock to absolutely no one when I say that I want Homelander to live ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I get it ; there's pressure to deliver on the writer's end. An expectation to give him the death that most viewers believe he deserves. And sure, seeing him get spaghettified or be torn to pieces might be 'satisfying' in the moment but it would have zero lasting emotional impact.

I'm in the camp of fans who want him to lose his powers and spend the rest of his life in solitary confinement -- back to where he started.

But worse this time. So much worse.

[miriamladyvoid]

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My ask: Intrusive thinking: imagines Sebek and Y/N (fem reader) being happily married and decide to have a family, but Y/N's weak magicless body can't handle the process and she ends up having an abortion. Or something worse she dies giving birth….(God I wish I had the talent to write) Well I just wanted to share my heartbreaking thoughts. In this house we live because of anguish.

Sebek Zigvolt | ANGST [TW: DEATH]

A regret that eats at him, that chews upon his pale flesh, and leaves him almost… breathless. That makes him nauseous—sick, as invisible hands wrap around his throat, choking him—killing him. It hurts him, pains him, makes his knees weak and hands clammy. He collapses into the chair beside your hospital bed, shaking hands grabbing yours, clasping onto them desperately. Theyre cold. You’re cold. You face grey, eyes sunken in, face devoid of all color. You’re hooked up to various machines, the only thing keeping you stable, alive. The familiar beeps vibrate—pound against his aching skull, a constant reminder that you could die. If he had known, had foreseen what would happen to you, what ugly, twisted fate would befallen you, he wouldn’t—he shouldn’t. His lips quiver against the silver of your ring, one that matches his so well. One that he remembered spending months picking out, trying to find the most perfect, perfect one. You deserve that.

Yet a soft, wail, so subtle that if it didn’t happen again, Sebek would’ve never heard it. He moves from his seat, over to the small plastic tub, he chokes on his breathe, nearly collapsing to his knees. A baby. He should have a sense of regret. Of spite, hatred, anger, disdain for this infant, that has caused you to be mere moments, seconds away from death’s cold embrace. He wonders if it’s freeing, to rest permanently, the baby is light in his arms, and he cradles the baby close to his chest. He’s holding his baby, your baby, gently rocking and swaying something that parents are supposed to do, and he’s a parent—a father…

What is he supposed to do now? He wants you to answer, how is he to take care of this child alone? How can you leave him alone? Was this baby more important than your own life, was if more important than your love with him? He pulls the baby from him, scowling at their scrunched up face, his eyes heavily glossed over. He has spent years mapping out your features, learning them, committing them to memory. The baby has your nose. The baby looks like you.

….the baby looks like you….

The original publication and writing belongs to @love-thanatopsis . (Post recovered) 19/12/22

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Banners created by miriamladyvoid© Feel free to use; please, reblog, and credit banners.

Language of the flowers of each Banner:

First Banner: Carnation, Whitered: Sadness. Second Banner: Yew: Gloom. Third Banner: Arbor Vitae: Live for me.

[fatuismooches]

Thinking how there are two particular segments that affect the most with Fragile! Reader waking up from their coma. Of course all of them are affected by it, especially Prime, the one that had been going through all of that, but prime has the ability to move on(??) Yet the segment?? Their time is suspended at that period of time whichever era of life Prime created them, after all different ages, different eras, different wisdom. So there's two particular segments that got hit the hardest with Fragile!reader waking up.

1. The Akademiya segment: the one that sees how strong reader are, the one that is stronger than he is. The one that sometimes has to carry him out of any fight that he got himself into. The one that is doing the heavy lifting between them. The one that carried him like a sack of potato while running at full speed because they accidentally triggered many ruin machines. That person reduces to this sickly person that on their worst day, can't even carry a pen.

2. The one that tastes the failure segment: this is the Dottore that tastes his failure, failure to figure out what's wrong, failure to cure Reader before their illness spiralling and becomes worse. The taste of failure from reading negative and failed results of his research about reader illness. The failure of coming with an empty hand searching what is the cause and cure of reader's illness. And the first one that had to endure that cold and quiet loneliness. The one that had to endure no one replied or got into his personal space, the one that used to be greeted by the silence. Finally got the reply that he long for. Imagine this dottore develops a habit of talking his thoughts out loud to fill in the silence. And one day he is just wondering out loud about some Fatui's work while taking care of reader, and reader thought he is talking to them so they reply and the speed of his head snapping to face reader is worrying

It just them 🥲🥺, i think after reader warm up to the segments, and the segments are sure their presence doesn't make reader nervous anymore, i think this two is the most clingy.

(im so sorry this is very long 😔😔 but them... Hmmmrghh)

OMG IM CHEWING ON THIS LOVINGLY... AHHH YOU'RE SO RIGHT!! Having such vivid memories of the old you is both a blessing and a curse for the Akademiya segment. Because he can clearly remember how beautiful you were, how you shined so brightly without a care. Your exceeding strength as you nearly put people in a hospital for making fun of him (numerous times). Him making you carry a bunch of equipment and books for the expeditions. You perfectly fighting off enemies for him every time while he looked on. You carrying him out of there when things got too serious despite his protests to investigate more. (You picking him up bridal style and him fighting and flailing in your arms as he fought you.) You being so lively and happy, pulling and dragging him along wherever.

But those days were a mere memory now, a reminder of the past that will never happen again. As you were now just a shadow of your former self. Never to be seen again, no, not with how weak you were now. Although you seem to have accepted your fate, even though it hurts you greatly. But this segment can't do that. He can't help but think of the old you. The way you gently tug on his hand now, compared to how you used to yank on it nearly making him trip back then. He will never forget.

AND OMGOMGG hold on... you've actually given me a ton of brain rot with that segment. I never thought about it before, there being a whole period in Dottore's life where he truly feels like he's failed, that nothing's working, that you'll be sleeping and ill for the rest of eternity. Perhaps because he exudes such confidence all the time, but maybe there was a time he cursed himself greatly for failing you. This segment's memories are full of failed experiments and torn notes decorating the floor. Your sleeping face burned permanently into his mind. The silence is all he can hear, but your voice rings in his head, although he knows it's not real. Your cold hand is the only texture he remembers. This segment especially doesn't like to be around people. Among the agents, he's known as the strangest, as he never acknowledges them, not once. Not having the time or energy to care about anyone else besides you. Despite the segments not needing sleep, he always seems tired and gloomy, probably because that was what Dottore was like at that stage. When you finally woke up, he had a hard time believing it was real, because of how long he waited. Despite his longing for you, he has a hard time showing it, unlike the very grabby and touchy tendencies of the other segments. Tends to stare at you and watch for long periods of time rather than do anything about it.

You certainly don't mind their clinginess. It's rather cute. But, you can't help but feel a bit bad for causing them such pain. You give them lots of kisses to hopefully remedy that.

[asterjennifer]

I'd like to talk about not wanting children.

A topic that really isn't spoken about enough, to the point it's hard to imagine I'm not alone with that mindset.

People always tell you, especially when you have a partner, that "in my age" ( 21) they didn't want them either. And that it'll come with the ages.

But I mean it when I say it. It's not just the typical "not right now at least" or "Nah not really interested" type of thing.

It's an actual fear for me.

I fear pregnancy the same way I also fear sexual assault, that is the same panic that spreads through my chest when only thinking about these things.

I don't know where that expressive fear comes from — might be trauma, might be personal priorities. All I know is that the mere thought makes me consider (rather want even though I'm not sure I could) I'll get rid of my life.

My reasons are something I've been discussing with my boyfriend before.

Worrying, since he'd like some maybe, at least one day, that he'll leave me because I don't.

So he asked me about it.

I have my reasons.

As a slim and thin girl, I've had to get the premature birth needles even though I was born at the right time.

I'm fragile to the point I don't believe my body could handle this kind of task in a healthy manner.

And if I lose my life, or my health for another person... Will I be able to enjoy parenting when knowing they either ruined my own life, or ruin that of the people around in case I would die?

The world is becoming expensive where someone like me, someone from a more poor background, thinks about children twice.

Children are unbelievably expensive.

And I want to persuade my career instead of a family.

I want to make a good living. Provide for my mother when she is older without worrying about a child.

I wish to have my own place, animals and make lots of travels with my saved money.

Persuade a career I love and live my life for myself.

The earth sadly gets destroyed and the aftermath of global warming already settles in today.

How could I not feel selfish knowing that these conditions will get worse from here on out, yet think I want my child to grow up in a climate disaster affecting their lives in every way.

How do I know I'll be a good mother? The thought of growing an human being is a lot of responsibility I don't trust myself with.

I have a little brother, and I'm neglecting him already. Depsite me loving him.

So how do I know for a fact it won't happen to my own child?

If I'd be a mother, I want to be a good one. But if I cannot trust myself to do it, then why shouldn't I listen to my intuition.

We talked about these. And he had points, too.

Adoption is something he brought up and I feel already much more okay with that.

We're overpopulated and so many poor children, who are not to blame for their fate, seek a good home. I understand that.

We talked about the raising part. How he says I'd be a good mother and he would give his all to be a good father.

He wants to be someone who has a well-payed job. He doesn't think I'd have to worry about these.

But how do you know the future? And for a fact this will be the case?

He agreed to some of my points, as I understood that he's right in some as well.

It scares me to think I'll be judged by people for deciding this.

But he respects it.

“What if one day, you want them so badly you leave me...?”

I asked him one evening. And he replied softly.

“I can't calm your fear in that regard as I don't know what will happen in the future... But right now we are going the same path. All I want is to be happy with you.”

Was his reply.

To all women out there:

If you don't want children and have your reasons, don't think you're alone.

Although we always see happy family's on the internet, and that often being portrayed as the goal in life — it doesn't have to be yours too.

Don't give up on your decision for someone else. And don't let people talk you into guilt.

You have nothing to but guilty of.

The only people who are guilty are the ones bringing bias into the world and who make their children miserable.

[nomdepen]

"As always, you are too kind. If I ever write anything of note, I'll be sure to send it to you for review." A part of her itched to tell him the truth, yearned to spill her secret to someone else, to release the building pressure that grew each day. Would Benjamin hate her if he knew she was Whistledown? Was his empathy simply because he thought she could be of no threat to him? Would his soft, sweet eyes turn disdainful if he found out her secret identity?

It was too risky. She knew that. There was no doubt about the level of risk that relaying such a thing would propose. But if her own best friend couldn't seem to see the positives in Pen's hobby, what chance did she have for anyone else to understand?

Her cheeks flare once more, brighter and hotter than they had all night and Pen can't bring herself to meet his gaze. The echo of his touch lingers on her skin long after she pulls away. It takes every ounce of strength not to run her fingers over her knuckles where his once were, to not imagine what it would feel like to have it last a bit longer. It felt nice to be touched, even in such an innocent way. It felt nice to be seen, understood, appreciated.

The way her mind trailed was startling, almost embarrassing. She was just tired, she told herself. That explained the nerves of the evening. And the flush of her skin when he looked at her. And the wild inconsistency of her heartbeat whenever he smiled. Mere exhaustion, that was all.

“Fifteen Cressdia Cowpers sounds like a fate worse than death. I'd rather be sent to the guillotine than experience such a thing.” The jab slips out before she can think better of it, and Pen peeks behind her, just to make sure the revenant of Cressida wasn't lingering nearby. Even if it seemed like they were alone, Pen knew that Cressida had a habit of using blackmail against others to get what she wanted. And although it was unlikely that she saw Penelope as any serious threat in the competition, ridding the marriage mart of one more girl served to benefit her.

In another world, the two girls might've been friends. But not in this world, where both of them saw every meeting as a match of defenses. If Cressida knew what kind of power Penelope secretly had, she'd nearly certain that he attitudes towards the Featherington girl would transform into something much kinder, but Pen had little to no interest in cutting a wheedle with someone like Cressida Cowper, even if it meant lessening the severity of her harassment. She'd survived this long under the torment of the other, so she would carry on despite the difficulties.

“I suppose we cannot hide out here forever." She gave him a melancholy smile. "We must return to the lion's den eventually.” She let out a sigh, her chest rising in falling in time with her lungs. She could've gladly wandered the grounds for another hour, speaking of nothing and everything with him. The weather outside was temperate and serene, and the gardens around them felt like a shield of protection from against the scrutiny of the partygoers. But the longer they remained outside, the more people would notice. Even though people rarely took the time to notice Pen while she was among them, the ton were quick to spot any outliers.

"If you wish to rescind your offer, I will offer you one last chance." Although her tone was playful, her meaning was sincere. Being seen with Penelope was akin to being seen waltzing with the court jester. It was hardly something to relish in, and she wanted to give him one last chance to back out should he wish to save himself from such a destiny. She wouldn't hold it against him, she thought. She would understand completely, even if it would feel like an arrow through her heart. Pen swallowed, fighting to remain composed. All she could do now was hope that he would not read her fear of being rejected as being a fear of dancing with him.

"I will keep track of every toe stepped upon, however. The last thing we want is Lady Whistledown reporting on our abhorrent dancing skills."

Penelope's embarrassment was clear, so Benjamin decided not to press the issue. "Dabbling or no, I imagine you give yourself too little credit, as usual," he said, "but don't worry..." Here, he held up a hand as if swearing an oath. "I don't intend to go digging. I once got into my brother's secret journal, and have the scar to prove it. In other words, I'm not eager to make a repeat offense."

Suffering?

The corners of his mouth curved upward. "Not in the least," he assured her. "In fact, I believe this is the first event I haven't suffered, and it seems I have you to thank for that. Though I hope you won't hold it against me."

Penelope gasped and fumbled at his arm, surprising him with her panicked shock. Despite it being rude -- surely, it was -- Benjamin laughed at her desperate plea, instinctively closing his hand around her own in a gentle squeeze.

"Do you think I want to invite Weathersby out here?" he asked. "I'd much rather endure an eternal brunch with fifteen Cressida Cowpers... Though the look on your face might be worth it." Here, he grinned, lightly skimming his thumb over her knuckles. "I promise to behave myself. For now."

She withdrew then, seeming a bit rattled.

Smiling at Penelope's remark, Benjamin raised his brows and agreed, "Ah, yes, a regular ol' entrepreneur. I don't often return what I readily take in hand, but I'll keep that in mind." He gestured toward the double doors. "Shall we? Or would you prefer that we remain in hiding? Because I'll gladly commit to either."

[theomnicode]

When you suddenly get the worst possible feeling.

Why is this panel important? (besides it being ominous)

Because amazingly enough, Child emperor also accurately imagines the effect of Saitama's serious punch, if it was visible with divine energy.

I have a feeling it comes down to the infantile feeling of omnipotence that has been mentioned in the ONE interview, that Saitama seems to be exhibiting. Since CE is a kid, he still might have a sense of that imagination because he's a superhuman who can tap into their inner universe as can other s-rank heroes and one of the reasons phoenixman tried to scout him. Okame-chan actually quantifies this divinity despite CE appearing weak, and then it cracks when it tries to check Saitama.

Otafuku (阿多福), also known as Ofuku (おふく, Ofuku) and Okame (阿亀), is a female character associated to Hyottoko, usually portrayed as a woman ugly and rotund but good-natured and humorous. Its origin might lie in a famous Uzume miko from the Muromachi period who was nicknamed Kamejo ("Turtle Woman") for resembling a traditional turtle mask or okame. She would have received also the nickname of otakufu ("much good fortune") for her goodness and virtue. In posterior centuries, she appears in theatre and literature as Hyottoko's wife. Over time, the character got associated to ribald humor, and by the time of Zen master Hakuin Ekaku she was identified as a prostitute, ugly but captivating at the same time. This portrayal came probably from the popular stereotype of the meshimori onna, also known as okame, and was used in Zen poetry to reflect the doctrine of nondualism.

If Genos is the objective truth narrator in dialogue, then Child emperor is the objective imagination narrator. The visual truth if you will. (Genos narrates the story set by ONE, CE narrates the visuals set by Murata).

So it means that when Child emperor imagines Genos as a spy...it means it is the objective narrative truth. That Genos is a spy of the enemy.

And who is the enemy again?

Monsters. Sent by God.

Which would make Genos...a spy of god.

Uuh...I guess that's what the divine power is for. Or something far worse. Far far worse.

Yanno what a coincidence that the mosquito let Saitama to Genos, to mosquito girl who is from House of Evolution that came to want to study Saitama, paralleling Genos. Like it was fate. Divine intervention.

That Saitama' can't actually kill a bloody mosquito, despite having powers to bend reality and then said mosquito escapes and leads him to Genos, who gets saved by Saitama and who would have otherwise died.

Saitama who bends reality, can't kill a mosquito. When in serious mode and fully visualizing about killing said mosquito. It's a violation of canon, so it exists because of non-canon reason. The writer ONE, his self-insert God, made it happen.

Other people who get a taste of the full focus from Saitama's stare, the bloodshot eyes, like Garou did, flinch at the mere pressure of it.

That actually sounds ridiculous that Sai can't kill a bug. That mosquito had to have reality bending powers of it's own. And it kinda did, it outsped Saitama in the anime too, anime only addition where the mosquito leads Saitama directly to Genos. Mosquito represents Saitama's humanity.

(In manga, Saitama actually gets stung by the mosquito and has to scratch the itchy spot...how???? That mosquito is actually op)

Then said person Saitama saves becomes his disciple right after he said he wishes he had someone who really appreciated him.

What are the odds?

Food for thought.

Black eyes of evil trope is also there. As is when his schlera go fully black when he's smug.

God is kinda hell-bent on killing it's own spies though, if this is the case.

[flowerbloom-arts]

Well uh, thank you @boorishbint for leaving these lovely tags on my post, otherwise I wouldn't have spent, like, almost two hours striaght writing a 1134 word fic depicting an inner monologue by dear old Hodgkins himself and 12 minutes coloring one of my doodles from the original post. I deeply admire your work and I hope that this is atleast enjoyable to you in any sort of capacity.

Cw: death mention (please ask me to add more if needed)

And as I sat on the armchair, book in lap, I stare at it and wonder why this could've possibly happened. My own brother and the love of his life, deceased, with his son left to be in my care. I feel... I'm not quite sure how I feel. It's always been rather difficult for someone such as myself to simply understand my own thoughts, I don't exactly have the ability to articulate these things. I've turned to the tangible things in life when my own abstractions fail me, there seems to be a maze in the back of my throat that makes it difficult to speak more than a few words and I've been so used to my younger brother interpreting my intentions for me, it seemed remarkable how easy it came to him. Now he's gone, I'm left behind for good, with a mere 8 year old sleeping on the sofa next to me. It's almost baffling to me how fate could twist a situation like this and not make it obvious who or what it favours, all I know is, it's not in my favour. I had come to terms that I may never fall for anyone in my life unlike my brother who seemed to take chances with any woman he happened to fancy, it was almost a relief that he found his metaphorical princess after kissing so many frogs, like that one fairytale but backwards, but now it's been a decade since that muddler from across the sea came and had their hearts stolen by the other, and now they're simply... Gone, and I'm still wondering to myself on if there is going to be a funeral for them or not, my brother seemed to not have quite the roster of friendships and any relative of his wife is a complete and utter mystery to me, just like everything else about that Confounder. For someone who has an extremely chatty brother and attended his wedding you'd think I'd know more about that strange thing, but no, just like everything else it appears to be part of this grand yet cruel joke that had it's climax just a week ago and I discovered the punchline just about an hour ago.

What am I to do now? What am I to do with my nephew? I can't simply leave him to an orphanage, I hear they're rather cruel places, so I suppose the other option is taking care of him myself. It'd be too odd for someone unrelated to care for him when his uncle is literally right here, I've already been doing it for the past 5 days since I discovered him starving in an oversized american coffee tin for 2 days since spring cleaning was supposed to start, I might as well. There really isn't anything to lose if I do, is there? Only problem is that I don't exactly understand other people, children especially, and I've never been familiar with his species in the slightest. Muddlers are a very rare sight if they do in fact live anywhere near here and not just across the atlantic, I might need to do a bit of research before I understand anything about parenting or muddlers as a whole. I might also need to find a partner to help care for him, but that seems far too daunting for me, there are far too many factors to list...

I am in completely unfamiliar territory here, it's almost laughable how all these pieces culminated into a situation I could never even dream of being in, it's a nightmare scenario if I were to be honest. And thinking this, I realize now that I'm feeling... Uncertain. Scared. Hopeless perhaps- things I'm lead to believe comes with parenting, except the circumstances are simply much worse than what would've ever been described to me, so much worse. I have yet to think about what to tell this child when he wakes up for goodness' sake, what am I to tell him? I could keep my mouth shut but eventually he'll pester me with questions if my lack of response bothers him, I will admit he is his father's son from what I could tell of him. Telling him his parents died is far too harsh, does he even understand what death is? Am I going to have to explain what death is to an 8 year old child? He was crying over a button getting lost under a drawer, I can't imagine the devastation he'd feel for something like this! I myself am already devastated at this, I can't handle such a thing right now! And that only leaves lying to his face about it, a white lie, sure, but a lie nonetheless. I'm nowhere near creative enough for something like that, I'm so bad at acting it'd be a miracle if he were to believe me.

Think, Samuel, think! You're supposed to be the smart one, academically gifted, aspiring inventor, why in the bloody hell can't you think of anything good to say to a child? You were a child once, surely you should know how you'd feel if anything about this sort of situation was said to you! But you were a strange child in comparison to others- your nephew isn't a younger you, he's far more like his father, you should know something with that atleast! Or atleast- an approximation of what you should say! Why does this have to be so difficult!? Why did any of this have to transpire? This can't possibly be your fault in any way but why does it feel like it is? Why can't you be a normal creature and just know what to say? Why can't you be normal and feel things everyone else is able to feel? Why are you like this? Why is this happening? What is going to happen now? Part of me hopes I could just stay in this moment and avoid the inevitable confrontation with my nephew about the whereabouts of his parents but I know that simply isn't possible, it's going to happen, if not today then some other day...

Looking at him- the Muddler- my own nephew, sleeping peacefully and blissfully unaware of what is going on, it feels... Melancholic, for a lack of a better word that comes to mind. I look back down at my brother's book of poems, or anthology, 'the Ocean Orchestra', this was his one achievement outside of his personal ones such as marriage and having a child, and it's practically the only thing of his creation I bother to own... My mind still wanders back to what I should say to Muddler. And I whisper to myself, softly and sadly, salted with my own frustrations towards myself...

"What to tell him...?"

[thefreelanceangel]

Shadowbringers Is Finally Ended

With Patch 5.55 and the official end of the Shadowbringers story, setting up now for Endwalker in November, there are now a few months ahead to grind gear, finish content and reflect on the most recent expansion.

And, without any hyperbole, I can say definitively that I have never in my life been as impressed with a game's writing as I have that of Shadowbringers, both the original expansion and a lot of the patch content. I have... thoughts.

I'm a bit of an outlier; I skipped Stormblood (oops) and went straight from completing Heavensward (which greatly impressed me at the time and still does) into Shadowbringers because I wanted to get a max level character already.

Within the first few cutscenes of Shadowbringers, I was absolutely hooked.

First, let me just say that "monstrous angels" is 100% My Thing. I ADORE the reinterpretation of the standard "Renaissance art angelic figures" into something closer to incomprehensible beings taking on twisted, terrifying appearances. The human mind is a finite thing and comprehending an angel would be as difficult as comprehending infinity; these are things so alien to our experience that assuming they'd be easy to grasp and familiar feels disingenuous to me.

So the sin-eaters and the Lightwardens? SLAP.

Also, the intent behind the usage of "Light" in Shadowbringers was deliberate and purposeful. Our Lord and Savior, Yoshi-P, stated this clearly in his Forbes interview.

"The inception of this idea was very simple: in recent fantasy works, the perception that light equates to good and dark equates to evil is very set in stone, we wanted to shake this up a bit.

"Until this point in Final Fantasy XIV, our players have been Warriors of Light: the hero. However, with Shadowbringers, we leave the Source and embark on a journey to the First, and through this I want our players to discover the truth of the world, as well as think about the real nature of light and dark. That is the theme of Shadowbringers.

"In any case, a light too strong could potentially become evil. Darkness and night are also necessary for the world to maintain its balance; that's the kind of theme we will be shedding light on."

And the themes in Shadowbringers had such an amazing resonance that they were both painfully clear and masterfully executed. Not only was the theme of "balance" clearly executed in the "returning Darkness to a world flooded by Light" goal, but the desire for players to "think about the real nature of light and dark" showed in a multitude of ways.

The Warriors of Light (who we met as the Warriors of Darkness in Heavensward) are, in their home world, reviled. They directly caused the Flood which nearly destroyed their home and although they were able to save it with personal sacrifice, the populace at large is unaware of that sacrifice. The motives behind what the Warriors did is essentially lost to history; all that remains is the perception of their actions and the results thereof.

Motives, however, which you (player and WoL) are privy to.

"At long last, you see. To save our world, we gave our lives. We were just adventurers trying to make our way. An odd job here, a favor there—we never aspired to be Warriors of Light. But word of our deeds spread, and soon people were calling us heroes. They placed their hopes and dreams on our shoulders and bid us fight for all that was good and right. We fought and we fought and we fought...until there was no one left to fight. We won...and now our world is being erased from existence. We did everything right, everything that was asked of us, and still—still it came to this! You of all people should understand! We cannot—we will not falter. We brought our world to the brink of destruction, and now we must save it."

You had that fight with the Warriors of Darkness. You heard Ardbert explain exactly what happened, how they came to the point where they faced off against you, and you saw what happened when they were given the choice to hold back the Flood. And you were there when the one favor Ardbert asked was for the Warriors of Darkness to be taken home.

You see how the First remembers them and it's stark contrast to the heroes you met who were fighting desperately to save people who now spit on their names. History quite clearly has two sides and which you believe is dependent entirely on what information you have.

This becomes even more of a clear theme when you meet Emet-Selch and learn more about the Calamity which led to the entire Zodiark/Hydaelyn duality. Here, your previous experiences with Ascians has painted them solely as "villains." They are established enemies, manipulating events and people in order to attain goals which, to you, are nothing but Calamities.

And yet, as you learn more about the original Source and the Amaurotines that once lived on it, these goals are painted in an entirely new light. Instead of merely seeking to wipe out "the world" for no apparent reason or, at best guess, greater power for their deity Zodiark, the Ascians were striving to repair the damage done by the original Sundering. They, in a manner of speaking, were doing what the Warriors of Darkness were. What you, the Warrior of Light, have been doing. They were trying to restore what was lost.

Which leads into another of Shadowbringers' major themes: grief and loss.

The earliest touches of this are in Alisaie's questlines where you learn about what happens to people tainted by the Light. Families are destroyed, people are transmuted into sin-eaters and those who avoid that fate must stand by and watch as their loved ones fall to something far worse than death. "A Purchase of Fruit" shows you exactly what the end result is while also highlighting something very specific: with no hope of removing the Light's taint, knowing that all that awaits the tainted is a painful transmutation and existence as a sin-eater, those untainted make the best they can of those last days and end the tainted individual's pain before it begins.

Grief, yes. Loss? Absolutely. And yet, this is a loving, compassionate thing that those in Amh Araeng are doing. They face their own grief and loss. Rather than refusing to accept the actuality of their circumstances or refuse to weigh themselves down with taking a decisive action, they make the choice to face their grief and loss directly, even willingly taking on the guilt of their actions rather than leaving the tainted to suffer.

Magnus in Twine lost his wife and son, which immobilizes him. He can't find solance in anything save alcohol and brooding over their graves. It takes outside interference to pull him directly from his grief, to help him see past the loss of his family and look towards the future where life might once again be worth living. His struggle with grief is painfully familiar and so very, very close to many real life struggles that it's extremely poignant.

This struggle with grief is the fight the Ascians are, without question, losing. Let's set aside the "tempering" argument when it comes to Emet-Selch and Elidibus for the moment, largely because it's actually quite true that grief can spur people into committing horrific acts either as a desperate attempt to assuage their own pain (revenge) or make 'things right' in some way (vengeance).

Emet-Selch does not, in fact, properly grieve for Amaurot and the Ancients he knew. He clings to them, as Hythlodaeus tells us, weighed down by an aching sense of loss.

"And though he may carry himself with a certain glib ease, Emet-Selch is not a man to bear his burdens lightly. In fact, I imagine they have only grown heavier with every passing century. ...T'is truly a terrible weight he has chosen to carry."

Quite significantly is the word "chosen" in that. Grief is a process that involves, eventually, letting go of the pain and living with the memories of what was loved and what no longer is. Emet-Selch chooses not to do that. He does not grieve for Amaurot and his lost loved ones; he refuses, no matter how often he mentions his loss, to admit that what is gone is gone.

Elidibus, rather similarly, refuses to accept that the duty he took on when called upon to become Zodiark's heart is finally at an end. That the world he and Emet-Selch originated from is gone. Although he admits that he can barely remember why he's set on this path, he refuses to turn away from him.

One won't forget, one can barely remember--neither will grieve and let go.

Even the Ascians' characteristic arrogance and disdain for what they consider "lesser beings" is easy to read as their long-lasting struggle with grief. Considering the Sundering, all the beings that the Ascians are so disdainful of are, in fact, echoes of that which they once knew. If they acknowledged that, accepted those beings as what they are and perhaps even admitted they had worth... well... Rather like realizing abruptly that you've spent a whole day without thinking of someone recently departed, it feels like a betrayal.

To find value in the worlds as they currently are, to turn away from the duty they were asked to uphold, to choose to lay down the memories of the past are all, in essence, choices the Ascians will not make because to do so would be to let go of what's lost, to move into the acceptance of grief and that can feel like betraying those whose memories are slowly fading.

Emet-Selch's end--"Remember us."--is directly tied to his refusal to forget. To let himself have even one day without hoping for an eventuality that's highly unlikely regardless of effort, without remembering the Sundering and the Final Days. He remembered, forcefully and tenaciously, and wishes that legacy to live beyond him.

While Elidibus, in remembering, unable to deny failure any longer, finally expresses grief and loss. "My people. My brothers. ...My friends. Stay strong. Keep the faith. At duty's end, we will meet again. We will. We will. The rains have ceased, and we have been graced with another beautiful day. But you are not here to see it."

And coming from villains, quite specifically from villains that have been largely indistinct "puppet master" figures throughout the previous expansions, these story arcs were a punch to the gut. (Yes, I had to pause writing this to cry helplessly over Elidibus again because my gods, that last line just...) Villains are at their best in fiction when they're relatable. When it's so very easy to see that thin line between villain and hero.

Faced with the loss of everything you'd ever loved, with the faintest possibility of getting it back, what would you do? What wouldn't you do? Yes, the Ascians did terrible things and that's undeniable. Stopping them was necessary to save hundreds of thousands of lives. And doing so, being victorious, didn't feel like a victory and that is such a rare, rare thing in media. The Warrior of Light does the right thing, but in doing so, must face the fact that those they've been fighting have hopes and dreams and feelings and pain as real and as motivating as theirs.

And Shadowbringers does such an impressive job of turning those standard tropes around. Heroes are a dime a dozen because if you just awaken them, as Elidibus did with the starshower, well, there can be dozens of Warriors running around. Villains have heart-wrenching motivations and relatable reasons for their goals. History is multi-faceted and no one person knows what the "truth" truly is. Grief can spur people to helping others (i.e. the tank Role Quest ending) or it can fester and go unhealed and create nothing but more destruction.

There is so much that Shadowbringers did beautifully, I don't have the time to touch on all of it. The lack of "breaking the flawed system fixes everything" trope following Eulmore's liberation from Vauthry and the struggles that Eulmore faces in trying to build a functional, working social order for themselves. Embracing the value of childish dreams and tending to the smallest, most overlooked victims of trauma with the Pixie Tribal Quests. Dealing with a commander whose soldiers died and seeing Lyna's survivor's guilt. Seeing how having a single, unified goal can inspire and rally people into putting differences aside and helping each other.

Shadowbringers has finally ended with Patch 5.55. The story on the First ended with Patch 5.3. And all I can say is that this is a game that I will never forget.

[wanderingwolfwitcher]

Eskel silently glanced Syanna's way at her observations and smile, and then back ahead as they set off from the stream and gradually through the woods. His cheek scars itched with memories and dark thoughts her words drew, but he could not itch them as he carried the stag. He felt a familiar stab of bitterness at the knowledge his brothers had been led astray, off the Path, even knowing and being glad that they were happier this way. Knowing they weren't cut out for the Witcher's life forever. Wanted to be the first to die peacefully in their beds, instead of as a Witcher one day on the Path, or at Dol Dhu Lokke. The fame hadn't made life any easier on Geralt than his dramatics and moodiness already hadn't. He had long put himself through more nonsense than destiny already deigned to put him through... while for some reason Lambert had long been jealous of his fame, and now sought to emulate it with Keira Metz, taking a Sorceress as a lover, allowing her to lead him around by the nose as her manservant while she traveled the North curing plagues. He couldn't imagine a less dignified fate for a Witcher. Even so, it was their lives, and their decisions to make, for better and for worse. Mostly for the worse, in his opinion, for what little it mattered. A true Witcher walked the Path alone... and he was now nothing else if not alone, of his guild. On that thought, he laid some of it out for her calmly, giving voice to them gradually, taking his time. Speaking to the stranger, outsider, things he hadn't spoken of to another before.

"Being a Witcher ain't for most folk, even those of us who survive it awhile. Wolf and Lambert gave up on the Path to pursue their own Sorceress and retirement related interests, never really appreciated this kind of life. Were destined for it, but weren't made for it... aren't traditionalists. Luckily I am. Never cared much for a life of comfort... especially not the comforts or manipulations of Sorceresses. Life shouldn't be easy for us... comforts rust and dull us like a sword left to hang up on the wall. Someone has to keep our school going... such as it is. There will be a Second Conjunction of the Spheres in 1358 or around then, if the homesick Vampires are to be believed. Continent is going to need to be ready for it. The False Conjunction in Skellige more recently, the business with the Wild Hunt, woke a lot of folk up as well, the monsters that poured through. That means more Witchers, after all the time the Continent's ingrates spent destroying our schools, thinking we outlived our usefulness. Can't say I ever expected to be the last of my guild, Grandmaster and inheritor of ruins, the one who must restore them, compared to all the better Witchers I knew. If I've learned anything in my long life, it's that destiny has always had a strange, morbid sense of humor like that."

The Witcher grimaced, chuckling under his breath and shaking his head, but knowing it was all a moot point, and there was little sense elaborating further than he already had. No doubt she of all people could understand that final point about how cruel and unexpected destiny could be. Pulling the rug from under one's feet. Though in his case, it hadn't only been related to his own experience with the Black Sun. The Black Sun matter with Stregobor and Eltibald, their shared cause, would allow him to close the chapter on that part of his destiny at last... and go forth tracking down Idarran of Ulivo and restoring the School of the Wolf. A matter likely to be far more difficult and complicated even than his business with the Black Sun... in more ways than one. He would not be able to give it the proper focus with his unfinished business in Kovir. At her voiced desire to try the Blue Mountain stew, his marred face merely smiled appreciatively and nodded, lapsing again into silence as they reached the camp and cavern... taking the time to pat Scorpion. After doing so, he got to work at once, setting the pot over the fire, gathering the ingredients, carving up the various sorts of meats from his hunt, and putting it all into the pot, adding spices, herbs and stirring it up for good measure, taking his time. He spoke to her again as he did so, viper eyes returning her way thoughtfully. Deep, languid voice washing over the Black Sun noblewoman again while he worked away, coaxing the stew now again with the spoon and heating it further with an Igni Sign.

"Getting there. So far so good. Should be filling, and taste decent enough. Ain't fancy Toussaint cooking, but reckon you haven't eaten much more fancy food than I have, with all your time away from home. Probably for the best, least it means you likely know how to appreciate the food that you get. Not turning your nose up at everything not served on a silver platter. Know how to rough it. Ain't usual for most nobles, in my experience."

@starwrittenfates

Eskel's viper eyes silently returned Syanna's way, to her blue gaze, at her observation and questioning, marred jaw tightening slightly, scars starting to itch again. Remembering Deidre, his Child of Surprise, wanting to teach her in the ways of a Witcher way back when he had intended to go through with claiming her... but being conflicted about it, knowing he would have been laughed out of Kaer Morhen if he had brought a girl there, back when Grandmaster Barmin ran the school. Before the pogrom. Then, after the pogrom, the whole thing had seemingly become a moot point... he'd not had it in him to steal a Princess from her royal life and family, seemingly protected, safe and happy, and force her to be raised in the ruins of a dying school of mutant outcasts. And even then, his best intentions for her had backfired on him as much as her... backfired on many. And continued to later, with his cowardice when she had sought his help years on. But it would do no good to mention that wistful desire after all this time to have trained her, mention her, in the present company, a young noblewoman quite like Deidre, born beneath the Black Sun. So, looking back down and continuing to catch more fish, his deep, calm voice spoke of others who had been less personal to him.

"Ciri, Geralt's Child of Surprise, then Leo, an orphan Vesemir... Kaer Morhen's previous Grandmaster... took in after the second war with Nilfgaard. But he wasn't a true Witcher any more than Ciri was, they never underwent and survived the Trial of the Grasses, or the Changes, nor were trained as long or hard as we were. Being a Witcher is more than skilled swordsmanship and monster knowledge, is not a title to be bestowed on anyone like Knighthood. Still, Vesemir was calling the shots, got softer and bit senile in his old age, so allowed them both to be trained as much as non mutants could be. Did my fair share in training both. Like to think I wasn't a half bad teacher., despite the unique circumstances."

The Witcher lunged or fired his crossbow now and again as he spoke, down to seize and kill some of the fish he nabbed, taking his time with the process. He was sure to grab the ones he shot before the current could take them down the stream. Every time he finished killing one, he dropped it into the stewing pot attached to his belt. During the course of the fishing, he spotted the occasional crayfish as well... remembering how delicious they had been in Toussaint, he scooped up and killed them as well, dropping them in with the fish. He had managed to get his hands on the recipe for Crayfish Chowder at Corvo Bianco, and with Lady de Trastamara's teaching, had learned how to cook a decent one... of course time would tell if he could still do so without her help in the kitchen. He would stick to the Kaer Morhen cuisine for now, before trying his hand at Toussaint cooking on his own. When the pot had a good amount of fish and crayfish in it, and he had recovered his crossbow bolts, he nodded, satisfied, holstered the crossbow on his back and turned her way again, striding out of the stream and back up to join her on the banks of it again. Tapping the side of the pot, reaching down to retrieve the stag he had hunted earlier and throw it over his shoulder, and speaking up to the alluring noblewoman again.

"Well, all this ought do for meat, for our Blue Mountain Stew. Best we get back to that cave, horses might be getting lonesome. Or getting better acquainted, of course."

@starwrittenfates

[acertainsomeone]

Surrendered/ edser TS- continued

Humans should never be blamed for what their heart refuses to believe. It isn't in their hands to blindly trust everything and everyone. Someone whose life was chaotic did not deserve to be pushed more.  We don't punish the ones we love.

"You're giving up on him Dada?" Melo had asked naively.

"Never. I'm giving him that space and time which he deserves." Eda's decision to leave Istanbul wasn't out of impulse. It was purely out of her selfless love for him.

"He wouldn't have left you if he was at your place, Eda." Ceren tried to coerce her friend one last time.

"Biliyorum, but I'm not Serkan. I love him, I love him more than anything therefore, I know that the Serkan standing in front of me does not need me." It was futile to explain to her friends what this meant. Not that she hadn't tried to win his trust, not that she had given up on their love. It was just that she could not see him in pain anymore. Her friends didn't notice the restlessness in his eyes, they did not know about the battles going on between his heart and mind, they had been crushing him, and she feared his breaking down more than hers. She had seen it in his eyes, and she feared he won't be able to take it anymore. She feared that he won't be able to take the load of their past and present. The damage was done already. She hadn't gifted her man to Selin, she had only given their fate a chance to work out this mess all by itself. It was getting hard for her to bear everything anyway. She could not breathe around him, without thinking about her secrets, without breaking down on the very thought of what could have had been.

The decision to start a new life in Paris proved to be a great one. It was much needed for someone like her who barely got space to mourn.

He would have loved it here.

Yes, she hadn't stopped thinking about him. Why would she? Realistically speaking, there weren't any hard feelings between them in the first place. Eda knew that she couldn't hate Serkan. Whatever that had happened between them was no one's fault. His amnesia had nothing to do with him. He hadn't hurt her despite Selin's manipulation. Minus the heartbreak that followed, she was not going to hold him accountable for anything that happened in their lives.

Things she expected from him were the ones that would've been fulfilled by the man she loved, not the one who pulled a fake engagement stunt with her.

Happiness isn't always meant to knock on our doors, the way we want.

There was nothing and no one to forgive, besides Selin. It hurt her that he believed her but Eda had to tell herself that the Serkan, who showed up after 2 months did not remember her, he did not remember them.

There is more to life Eda Yildiz. Love isn't everything. You have a long way to go. 

🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫

At the end of the day, fate is all we have to blame. Sometimes, we are not having control over our decisions or the way life works. If Serkan had, he would have never wanted things to work the way they did now. He would have never wanted to see her cry. He would have done everything in his power to ensure her happiness.

Then why didn't he do that when he had the chance?

Was he too convinced by Selin?

Did he doubt her heart when everything was crystal clear?

Maybe he was confused and shocked.

Maybe he was too scared to accept that he had become something that he could never imagine.

His entire existence had been a question mark for the last eight months. When Selin found him at one of the hospitals in Italy, he wondered that nothing could go worse than this. He was lying lifeless on the bed, unable to move, devoid of memories, struggling to come to terms with what had happened.

Luckily, he survived that nightmare. Selin had helped him get better. He didn't want his parents to worry about him thus, he decided to keep this news in wraps. Selin and Serkan had mutually decided to reveal the truth after he had recovered from the shock.

She had told him strange things, how he signed a contract with Eda to get her back, how Eda manipulated him and changed him as a person. She told him that Eda was responsible for all mishaps in his life. And all of this was a plan. Her plan to avenge the death of her parents. Her grandmother was involved, and when Semiha hanim couldn't destroy him, she planned this accident but fortunately, he survived. Eda was already having half of the shares, and now with Serkan's death, she was going to take over the holding.

If she really loves you why hasn't she made any attempts to find you Serkan?

Where is she?

Serkan believed whatever he was told but after coming back to Art Life, he kept on struggling with his feelings. His eyes deceived the truths he was told about. Six months that he spent with Eda, breathing the same air as hers made him realize that she was anything but treacherous.

She loved him.

She wanted him back.

But did he want her back?

He had been lying to himself. He was 100% attracted to her but equally scared to accept that. 

Too many thoughts, too many fears, he didn't have the courage to ask any of the questions that were in his mind. Maybe that's why she gave up on him, maybe that's why she chose to hide the truth. The truth that matters.

He was afraid to ask. It had been three weeks since he heard her conversation with Erdem, and he hadn't been at peace. He was not going to doubt for a second that the child wasn't his. He didn't bother to ask Erdem about it. Eda decided to hide the truth from him, she had the right to tell him about him.

Did he know about her pregnancy before the accident? If yes, then he will never be able to forgive himself. How could he forget the most important thing in this world? How could Eda forgive him for this? She must hate him. She should.

He was flying to Paris, unaware of the conversation he was going to have. What would he say? Hi Eda, I heard your and Erdem's conversation, so you were pregnant with my child but had a miscarriage, do you mind sharing some details?

He couldn't be this insensitive. She must've gone through hell and the fact that she hid it from everyone until now spoke volumes. Yet, they had to talk.

🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫 

"What the hell!" She gasped in shock to find him standing at her door. She peeked at the sides, just in case Selin was with him, and they came here to kick her out of this apartment. On paper, it still belonged to Serkan Bolat and Eda Yildiz. Selin's influence might push him to do the deed. She could do anything and Serkan couldn't be trusted anymore.

"Hi." Serkan replied half-amused, half confused. What was she looking at? What if she didn't allow me to enter inside? I don't even have an excuse

"Napiyosun Burda"

"Is this how you greet your guests?" he took off his glasses and smiled back at her.

Eda sighed heavily, where are your manners, Ms. Yildiz. She gestured for him to come inside.

"So, what is it?" She asked, handing him a glass of water. He was sitting on the couch, staring at the walls. They were a reflection of his personality and Eda's heart. A mere look at the apartment registered the fact that it was designed by him, and Eda added her touches.

He could identify his work really well. His eye spotted the multiple photo frames. He didn't remember them either. Eda noticed that and became nervous. She hadn't removed or made any changes. Their photographs as decided were still hanging there. She could not dare. Memories aren't meant to be discarded whenever we want. 

"I didn't expect you to be here else-" She hesitated.

"It's okay. I'm sorry if you thought-" He stopped, embarrassed for making her feel that way. He wanted to tell her that she need not feel bad about anything. "Actually, I missed Sirius." he blurts instantly to cover up the tension that brewed between them.

"Benimle dalga mı geçiyorsun?" She exasperated. "Serkan! You can't come to my house whenever you miss Sirius." She made sense. Of all the things that had changed in their lives, it included Sirius's preferences as well. He was happy to have Serkan in his life again, but somehow, he refused to stay with him. He'd refuse to eat and drink if Eda wasn't around. It felt as if he didn't recognize the Serkan, who was not in love with Eda Yildiz.

Therefore, they decided that Sirius would stay with Eda, wherever she was. It did pain Eda because she knew Sirius meant everything to him. And without Sirius, Serkan was left with no one. He can have Selin. She made a mental note but she knew that was her being petty and nothing else.

"I'm sorry. I just-"

"It's okay, I understand but you could've at least informed me that you're coming to see him." Eda blinked in confusion, waiting for his reply but he seemed fazed. He was acting strange, just like the day he came to Art Life.

"It's strange that my dog loves you more than me."

"Serkan- you have no idea what he went through when you were not there for two months. We suffered together, you can't blame him or anyone."

Serkan sighed, staring at her incredulously. He did not know how to muster the courage and ask her about that one thing she hadn't told him. Maybe she thinks that I'm not worthy of it.

"Eda...I- I came to ask you something."

"Harika! Now you're on track, I knew something's off. Listen if it's about this apartment then there's no way I'm giving it to you or Selin." She blurted out in a speed, and he felt the urge to shut her up with a kiss.

"EDA , When was the last time you listened to me properly?" He stressed. "I need to talk to you about something else but can you please stop imagining things." He snapped.

"Tamam. I'll get you something to eat."  

🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫🌫

They had been stealing glances for the last half an hour. Eda had prepared him salmon, while she treated herself with spaghetti. She was not even going to convince him to have some this time. It felt awkward.

"How's your job?" How hard it could be to get to the point Serkan Bolat.

"Great, Paris did me good. I'm loving it here." He nodded at her reply.

Serkan knitted his brows when he saw her taking few medicines. "Are you alright?" He asked out of concern knowing Eda was the last person to take medicines.

"iyim iyim. Nothing serious. These are just supplements." She replied with a shrug

"Whom are you fooling here?" He took the small jar from her hand and looked at her disbelievingly. "Eda, this is for PTSD-associated nightmares."

He searched her eyes for an answer. He wanted her to say something, something that he wasn't ready for, but he knew he was responsible for whatever she was going to tell him, and he wanted to hear it.

"Eda, you can tell me. Whatever it is." He placed her hand above hers and pressed it in an assuring manner. He wanted her to trust him this one instant. His heart was begging for her to put her faith in him.

"Neden?" She pursed her lips in defiance, her eyes accusing him of this interference in her life.

"Maybe because I deserve to know about my child as well." His lips quivered. His eyes were not accusing, they were just pleading helplessly. They were begging to be freed. Eda instantly removed her hand from his, it felt as if someone had hit her head with a spade. She was not ready to have this conversation with anyone, neither Serkan nor her friends. She did not know how he knew about this but he needed to leave immediately.

"Serkan. Git." Tears struggled to leave her eyes but she was stern and strong. He didn't move, instead, he kept on staring at her, in her eyes, still searching for answers. Before he could say something, she left the table and rushed to her bedroom.

Serkan didn't follow her. Was It a mistake to come here?

She is already in pain and he worsened it. He had no right to come back asking for things that he doesn't remember anymore.

Serkan spent the next few hours sobbing and cursing his fate. He needed to apologize to her. She deserved that at least. He had been awful to her; this was the least he could do.

She was sitting on the bathroom tiles, crying to herself. Her eyes were swollen, and it felt as if she was struggling to breathe. Serkan rushed and hugged her immediately. She didn't resist his touch this time.

He embraced her possessively

His immediate touch triggered the volcano inside Eda that was waiting to erupt since that night. The bathroom filled with her cries. They grew louder and louder. She hadn't cried since that night. She hadn't cried when the doctor told her that she lost the only hope, the only possession that she had of Serkan.

She couldn't even mourn her miscarriage

Serkan wasn't stopping her, their tears were mingling together. She said something but it didn't make sense. Eda strengthened her grip on his arm and screamed, remembering the pain she went through that night. If he had been there, he would have never let that happen. He would have protected her from that fall. If only he hadn't left for Italy that. If only she had stopped him. If only. 

"I dreamt that it was a boy." She mumbled amidst her cries.

"Shhhhhh, you'll have another baby" He tried to soothe her and that was the only thing he could come up with in that spur of the moment.

"No, I don't want another baby, I want my baby back, I just want him back Serkan." She cried inconsolably while hitting him on his arm.

Serkan was helpless

-Defeated - Powerless

Was he to be blamed for the pain she was going through?

"I want my child back. I just want him back." Eda mumbled the same words to sleep. She was lying in his arms. She had found her comfort and mourned the anguish that was churning in her heart for the last eight months. Serkan sat on the tiles with Eda in his arms- lifeless.... Unable to decipher the events of his life.

He had no memories. He was going to become a father. He was not around when the mother of his child wanted him the most. And the only reason he was here tonight because-

He did not know.

Was it out of love? Or Was it out of an obligation? Why was he here? 

Did he have any right to touch her? 

Eda and Serkan were at a phase of life where they did not know what would happen next. Their actions were questionable.  There weren't any hard feelings. There was pain. But no one was to be blamed. There was longingness. But It carried broken promises and unsaid words. This night was the longest they had experienced in their lives. It didn't end fast; it was meant to put two hearts at peace.

They did not know how things will go from here. But it's okay, at times you don't have to worry about things that haven't happened yet.

When it gets hard to decide, let fate decide

The rights and wrongs of life

It gets better It gets better  

Note: I hope it managed to do justice to your expectations. Sorry for the mistakes, I'm awful when it comes to proofreading!  Didn't feel like giving this Twoshot a proper ending because at times ends are not meant to be forever. Thank you all for the previous comments, It meant a lot <3 Happy SCK day btw ;)

[homely-jess]

Are there more parts of One of the Fellow Legolas x (human) reader? If there are then I can't seem to find them

I'm just gonna post all 5 parts right here:Part one:-----------------------"Yes, but why must I come along Boromir?" You groaned to your brother beside you. Your father, Denothor, made it urgent that you leave for Rivendell, you weren't entirely sure as to why you had to come along. Maybe it was because your father didn't trust you with Faramir? Poor Faramir. Your father Had always saw him as less worthy. Why didn't Denothor treat him as an equal?!"In all honest, I do not know, but our father thinks it wise to bring you along," Boromir reined his horse over a fallen tree branch. You trotted along directly behind him," he told me only few details sister, rumor of the One Ring is said to have been found, but who can say for certain? It was supposed to be a mere legend," you gasped at your brothers words."If that is the case, the ring must be destroyed brother!" Boromir held tight to the reins and cussed the horse to stop. Why was he acting like this? He turned to look at you behind his ginger bangs," the ring goes to Gondor, it will be safe there; it is a gift to the people there," Boromir seemed to growl."How can you be so certain? The legend tells of great evil, how is a 'prize' like that worthy to the race of men?" You argued staring into his eyes. You gently nudged your horse forward and onward the path," if I remember correctly, men could succumb to the power of the ring much easier. I will be keeping my eye on you Boromir– it's nothing personal,"But it was, Boromir already seems fazed enough as it is. ***A day later you had found yourself in the stunning and magical realm of Rivendell. The place was large and placed in the side of a cliff, mesmerizing waterfalls surrounded the woods of Imladris. Such a beautiful place it was indeed. The food here wasn't so bad either, the elves were charming and the birds chiropractic a heavenly tune as the day carried on.A day after arriving and having plenty of time to rest, you found yourself seated beside your brother at a council meeting. And what a strange council this was as well! Men sat beside dwarves, dwarves sat near sleeves (a common enemy or the dwarves, and there sat a hobbit! And Gandalf the Grey! You could only imagine meeting him only in your dreams! 'Wonder if he'd make some fireworks?' You shook the thought away as quick as it had come. Boromir tensed up for the thousandth time today. The matters of which Lord Elrdond spoke, caused Boromir to react in odd ways. Your brother had not spoken to you much after you had had the incident on the way here. He can certainly hold a grudge.To get your mind off of him, you took another look at the surroundings. Again, such a beautiful place, you looked at a bird fly over head that you hadn't ever seen before! As it flew by you noticed someone staring, and elf, who was staring. He was quite handsome to the eye; his gorgeous long blonde hair fell over his shoulders perfectly. With a blush you looked away from him.***"You carry the fate of us all little one," Boromir spoke to Frodo. The hobbit looked on with wide eyes. "If this is indeed the will of the council: then Gondor will see it done," finished your brother. Everyone stood before Lord Elrond, Gimli, Frodo, Gandalf, Aragorn, your brother, and the elf who stared, Legolas. Yet you still sat in your seat. Boromir was leaving you again? Why couldn't the others around you hear the shattering of your heart?"Here!" Called a voice from the shrubbery. Great, so vegetation could go and not you. Your assumption had been very wrong when another hobbit hopped from the bush and stood beside Frodo. "Mister Frodo's not goin' anywhere with out me!" This hobbit seems older that Frodo. His amber hair was flame in the sunlight."Now indeed! It is impossible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret council, and you are not," Elrond looked between the new hobbit and Frodo with a smirk. It was that easy to go on this thing?"Wait!" Called another voice from the distance," we're coming too!" Said the gentle voice of another hobbit who ran up to Frodo. This hobbit, however, wasn't alone, for at his side was another hobbit who looked much like him; all the way down to the foot hair. You were practically pulling your hair out now. You just wanted to remain with your brother!"It'll take something worse than being tied up in a sack to stop us!" Said the oldest of the two newest hobbits."Besides you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission....quest...thing!" He spat out. He looked hardly of intelligence."Well that rules you out Pip," said the oldest and he was most likely right. "Nine companions," Elrond looked at this group of mixed races. There was doubt in his eye, but also hope and perhaps that ruled far more greater. ," so be it! You shall be the fellowship of the ring!" Lord Elrond said with a merry smile. You felt anything but merry at the moment.Claps and cheers erupted from the audience," good! So, where are we going?" Said the fool called 'Pip'. That was the last straw."Alright! Alright! Wait a minute!" You stood from where you sat. "You would let a rather foolish bunch, onto this journey, but not me? Could I have a place among your fellowship Lord Elrond?" You face was red with anger. Everyone looked at you in confusion.Boromir stepped to your side and grabbed your arm," not here y/n!" He whispered. You yanked your arm free and looked the lord in the eyes. "I may not be the best fighter my Lord, but I am skilled in healing, please, let me come and I would treat the wounds of this group. It would be my honor and I am most willing to commit to this," you pleaded your case. Lord Elrond pondered this idea. A healer could ensure the lives of the fellowship, why not let her join? She could learn to fight, " So be it, but it up to you y/n of Gondor, that you learn to fight like the others. You will need to hold your own so you don't drag the others down with you. Are we clear?" Elrond proposed the idea."Yes, my lo-" Boromir cut you off."-no!" He tried.You gave him your best glare while saying," yes, my Lord, we are clear; I accept your offer," Boromir was fuming at your words."May the ten fellow, go now and rest, there is much venturing to be done henceforth," orders lord Elrdond and the gathering of races dispersed from the council. You were left alone with your brother who wouldn't stop burning holes in your head.Part two----------------The walk towards your almost definite doom was quite eventful. You stayed beside Bill the pony as your brother made jokes with Aragorn– absolutely terrible jokes– the kind one would cringe upon hearing. The hobbits had interesting conversations about when the next meal was, and if there would be potatoes included. You couldn't help, but giggle the halflings.Amidst the walking you noticed someone to your right was gazing at you. The intermittent staring began to bother you. Why did this elf stare? "So you are the one they call Legolas?" You addressed him and he seemed to get fidgety."And you are the one who proved her place before Lord Elrond," the elf had a sing-song voice that you adored.You blushed," well, that wasn't my intentions at first, I don't even know how to fight, my brother hardly speaks to me, or anyone else in the fellow for that matter," you sadly spoke. You felt the elf's friendly presence inch closer to you. "Well, I'm talking to you," he suggested."Yes, I suppose there is that," you smiled at your new friend. As the day wore on Legolas was the only one who spoke to you, and your conversations carried on for the rest of the night.***Boromir POV'My little-ignorant-sister! What does she know if the rigors of quests! There are perilous and treacherous! Maybe if I leave her by herself she'll find out just how hard it will be. Only when she needs me most will I- wait– who is she speaking to?' I asked inwardly. Upon looking over I found her giggling and blushing with that elf!I continued to watched them as we walked. She seems happier now that someone was speaking to her, but she could not see what I saw. Legolas gave her small touches to the shoulders and compliments here and there. His actions made the hairs on the back of my neck bristle.'Maybe, though, it was good that they establish a relationship?' I thought,' for now, I will welcome the thought of their courtship, if it ever got that far, as a sign of peace again between the race of men and elves. But the second he breaks her heart, Legolas will have a limited time to pray to whatever elven God he believes in.'***Normal POV.Three days later, the fellowship found itself resting by the trunk of a great tree. This seems like the only tree within miles! On this quest you had seen so many beautiful landscapes. 'How hard could this adventure be?' You began to wonder."Y/n!" Said a familiar song voice. You looked up at the elf from where you sat,"yes? Is there something wrong?""Boromir has given me permission to help you fight. I believe with a few lessons, you will be an excellent fighter," Legolas said as he extended out his hand. You smiled, Boromir wanted to let you fight?! This was amazing! And who better to train with your your new friend Legolas?"Well if Boromir consents, then I shall do as he says," you took his hand and he helped you up, pulling out a blade Legolas handed it to you, he held the other. Legolas placed himself in front of you and held the weapon out and at the ready. You were a tiny bit nervous as you did the same; the others looked on to watch the training. "Remember this y/n: steady, swift, and no mercy. If you decide to spare a life, it causes consequence. The consequences can be good or bad, it is up to you who you spare, but never is it in any manner easy,"Legolas taught you. You thought about the depth of his words and engraved them in your mind, putting it permanently inside your brain forever. "Do as I, y/n," Legolas placed his sword above his head and you mimicked him. "Good, now do the movement faster," Legolas demonstrated it at a fast speed. It was clear he was skilled in combat. You did the movement over and over again and became faster each time."Alright! You're doing brilliant y/n, now, I'm going to swing at you, try to use the motion to block my attack," Legolas waited three seconds before he swung and you held your sword out to block, but alas, it was in vain. Legolas's force of the swing chased the blade to override your stance. The blade of Legolas grazed the backside of your left hand as you fell over. You clutched your now bleeding hand from the ground and Legolas rushed to your side."Y/n! I am terribly sorry, you are not ready to block blows yet! I did not mean to hurt you y/n, I swear it on my very life," he held your bleeding hand by the wrist tightly to stop the bleeding.You looked up at him,"no worries Legolas, it was an accident, they happen," you looked into his eyes and he stared back just as attentive. In the blue orbs that Legolas had, you saw just how much he cared, just how sorry he was, and a hint of something else. You wrote it off as overwhelming friendship. Part three:------------------------You were always at his side. When trouble drew near, it was to you he went to first. Your brother, Boromir, still resided with Aragorn on this quest. That was fine in your book, he could stay with his buddies, while trying to ignore you– you had Legolas now. There was apart of you, that deep down, felt safer with Legolas. Yes, he had been teaching you to fight and you were increasingly good at it now, but the calm protectiveness that he brought, soothed your soul. Such a wonderful friend to have indeed.***Night had fallen and the stars were shining bright as ever. The crackling Fire casted an orange glow over the group and the distant chirp of frogs and crickets played like music.You felt a presence come up behind you. You had currently had your back against a fallen log, someone had taken the opportunity to sit on said log and start to run fingers through your hair. In any other situation you would have shooed off the person in an angry manner, but this was Legolas, and he could do whatever he wished with your hair."Back from scouting then?" You addressed him followed by a hum. Having your hair played wit was soothing."Yes, but I am to do more later in the night– I simply had to do this," you realized that Legolas was taking strands of your hair and braiding it."Do what?" You asked innocently."Give you these," Legolas brought a hand to the front of your face and showed you what he had in his hand. They were small gold hair clips in the shape of leave." They are beautiful Legolas!" You told him and earned a chuckle from him."Good, I was hoping you would like them," Legolas said as he continued to braid your hair and eventually finished it off with the gorgeous clips.( I do NOT own the image below. It is used solely for reference purposes)***"It's obvious.....can't you tell?" Said a voice in the night."Yes.....does she know?" Replied another voice in the distance. The cackling of the fire made it hard to decipher words clearly. Whoever was sleeping, obviously didn't know you were awake and listening. They had to be speaking of you, you were the only female in the fellowship! You continued to eavesdrop, but acted asleep– seeing to it that your back was turned to them."I do not think so.......she can be blind to so many things, Aragorn," ahh so one of the voices did belong to Aragorn. You saw that all of the hobbits were asleep, so they weren't the last speaker, Gandalf was smoking a pipe by a tree, and Legolas went off scouting like he usually did.' Do elves even need sleep?' You wondered. The last voice left had to belong to your brother, and at that realization it made more sense."In time I believe she will come to terms....get some rest, Legolas watches over us now– elves rarely sleep. We are in good hands.....so is she," said the voice of Aragorn.What did all of this mean?! What did you possibly 'not know'? If they think this is a game, it is in very poor taste! If these foul voices of the night continue, you would have to see into the matter yourself. This conversation better have been the last one. Part 4------------------It seemed like numbers on a calendar didn't matter anymore. How many months and days it had been since leaving Rivendell, had faded and just surviving on this quest was the more prominent ordeal. It could've been a year in the wilderness, you did not know– and frankly didn't care. The fellowship would sing songs of merriment and tell stories by the fire. You watched the hobbits prepare a fire.It was dusk when Aragorn decided to call it quits for the day. The fellowship found itself in a rocky landscape and beside a clear-water river that flowed by. You walked over to the edge of the water and looked down, colorful fish dashed away when they saw you. Having felt bad for scaring them you sighed. "They will be back, patience here is the key," Legolas put a hand on your shoulder. You leaned into his touch."Do you think we'll really destroy the ring?" The question weighed heavily on your mind. "I cannot say for certain, but I have...hope y/n," you looked at him at his words. Your face was plastered with dirt and debris from the venture. Legolas noticed this and smiled. He pulled a cloth from the satchel you carried, bent down to the clear water, and brought the moist fabric to your cheek. He started to rub your skin free of the dirt. The feeling was soothing and you couldn't have thanked him more. You closed your eyes and let him do his thing."I must go scout once more; when I will return, I don't know," Legolas pulled away from you– a feeling that made you feel empty."I will look for your return Legolas," you have him a small bow and he gave you an elven salute with his hand to his heart before he turned away and walked off.***Back at camp the hobbits were telling stories of the time Merry caught s fish that was bigger than him. You laughed at first, but then another voice was added in– not a hobbit's voice. Boromir. You looked at he and Aragorn hunched into each other an whispered."Did you see them today? Maybe she's realized," said Boromir's hushed tone. You snuck up behind them.With a loud voice as intended you made Boromir jump," realize what?" You asked them with your hands behind your back, Boromir looked as if he would faint. They stayed silent as they looked at you," well?""Well...u-uhh...," Boromir looked between you and Aragon quickly. Aragorn looked as though he wanted no part in this so he stepped back a few feet in submission. "We thought you had realized by now t-that Legolas, was courting y-you," said your brother.You laughed," courting me? What makes you think that? We're just friends," you tried to tell him."No, y/n, elves have a way of courting, they...give gifts, for example your hair clips," you brought to fingers up to touch the little clips that held the braid. "The little touches, always being by your side, the braids, the clips, and looking at you affectionately. Sweet dear sister, that is how elves court," Boromir said it like it was plain as day."You mean he is in love with me? He did not even ask me if I wanted this courtship," you were so confused by all of this."And he didn't have to, when you accepted his gift of hair clips, you said yes to his permission of courtship. Y/n, in elf culture, the little things have enormous meanings, just because he did not ask you directly, doesn't mean he did not ask. He loves you y/n, even I can tell as much," Aragorn's explanation brought a lump to your throat."I will have a word with him when he returns," was all you said before walking away and sitting on s rock by the warm fire.***Legolas found you beneath the stars and sitting cross legged by the river. He walked so silent up to that the fish that now swam in front you you did not stir. At night these colorful fish had luminescent colors that danced under the clear water. Watching you stare at them made Legolas fall even more in love with you. He had questioned his love in the beginning, for you were human and he was an elf. But he had never been so sure of his love for you. "You're back," you looked up at him."I find it odd that you can hear me even when others cannot," he said as he sat next to you to graciously. You felt a bit of awkwardness at what new information you had received earlier."Yes, well, your footsteps make not the slightest sound– that is when I know younger near," you nudged him with your shoulder gently to which he returned. There was a calm silence as you both watched the dancing lights beneath the water. After a moment to spoke," I spoke with Aragorn and Boromir today"."You spoke to your brother at last? On what matter did you speak?" Legolas asked intrigued."It was about you: they told me you are courting me when I didn't know. Is it true Legolas? They say you love me?" You asked looking deeply into his eyes. He broke the stare to look at your hands and take them in his– he brought his gaze back to yours."Of course it is true y/n. Forgive me if my manners of courtship weren't that noticeable. I courted you as I would a maiden of my race, if you wish me away I would leave you alone," Legolas looked sad at the thought."Legolas, I could never send you away. I wanted to tell you that I accept our courting and....I love you as well," you cupped his cheek and stroked it with a thumb. He looked so happy at your words as a teethy smile crossed his face. "You are certain?" Legolas asked inching closer to your face. You inched closer as well, your breathing was becoming breathy as your lips parted. Now, you felt his breath I've you lips,' so close' you thought," very certain," you loses the distance and captured Legolas' lips with yours. The kiss was everything you could've imagined and it filled your heart with the warmth that it needed. You had thought that being one of the fellow was going to be dangerous and full of death, but nothing like this. This was better.Part 5-------------------The longer this journey seemed to take, the bigger your belly grew. It wasn't long before the elf had proposed to you on this quest. Shortly after that ensued a night of love making that was, by far, the most sensational feeling of your life.No one expected that you would become pregnant.You noticed the morning you began heaving out your insides, while Legolas held your hair. The fellowship looked on in worry and you tried to assure them that you were okay. You decided to tell Legolas your evaluation in private. He was both excited, angry, and scared. He wanted nothing more than a family with the one he loved, but it wasn't safe out here on his adventure-- even you knew that, and know Legolas had is son or daughter's life at risk if something happened to you. Legolas grew coldly adamant about keeping you safe and away from danger."Legolas I am able to help!" You said as you quickened your pace to catch up to him. He turned to you seeing you already out of breath. He shook his head," no my love, look you are out of breath just from catching up to me, I will not have you fight or do anything of the sort". He crossed his arms. People filed quickly passed you both. Helms Deep was under attack and it was a matter of hours until the Orc army arrived.You felt a sting in your eyes," then where do I go?" Legolas must have noticed your tears so he softened his state and toon you in a comforting embrace. You let go of the dam that had built up your emotions. You sobbed into his chest right in the middle of this large and busy crowd. He held you until you were only sniffling. "Stay with the women and children in the caves y/n," he softly brushed your cheek with his thumb," it would kill me something happened to you," he put a hand on your stomach," both of you.You have a sad nod-- you knew he wasn't trying to be mean, just being safe," I've already lost Boromir, I can't lose you too. You come back to me alive," it wasn't a question."I promise," he leaned in and gave you a kiss that was laced with love and sweetness. Before he gave you one last look and ran a tender hand over his unborn child before the couple went their different ways.

[lilbluespeedster]

*The smaller hedgehog's eyes glanced around the room, taking in the meager sight of the other's living conditions before laying eyes on Arrow...His heart sank and he himself became a little pale...He wasn't just imagining what he felt then... He felt a tiny bit ill...Seeing Arrow the way he was...He filled him with a bit of dread and fear. He wanted to ask what happened, but he already knew.*

"Shit..." *He couldn't help but mutter as he too would quickly make his way to Arrow's side. Unlike Mina who considered this one of the best case scenarios...Lil' considered it the opposite. Arrow was in bad shape and it was clear to him there was more going on here than he wanted to know. He wanted to leave right then and there with Arrow and the others.*

"And here I thought I was having it rough." *He spoke, attempting to lighten the mood but honestly it was a bit too frank for that. He wouldn't hesitate to reach over and grab the gemstone he carried and await for the other two to finish their moment before handing Arrow the gem.* "It's not much, but this should help a little bit." *At least, it should keep Arrow from getting worse he hoped. But he could feel the cold darkness of the energy around them seem to begin to latch onto the fact there was a lack of good chaos energy emanating from near the small hedgehog. For now, Lil' would be fine...But long-term? He knew would be dealing with a similar fate.*

"As much as I would like to celebrate, we can't stay here. We're not safe until we get out of here and I have a feeling we haven't even dealt the hard part. We need to leave."

*Granted, it was up to Mina where they went from here. Lil' had guided them here, but there wasn't much he could do to lead them out. He really hoped that the others had thought of a plan at this point. The warp ring he handed over earlier was merely a last resort unfortunately. He had no idea how effective it would be in this place, half expecting it to throw them to some random zone and short out for a while with how this place felt. But worse comes to worse, it was better than staying here really.*

lilbluespeedster​:

*The hedgehog looked towards the building and his eyes narrowed. He knew what they were getting at alright…And he knew what it meant…It wasn’t necessarily a thing, but more likely someone keeping Arrow there. His guard was up and he looked around for a moment to see if anyone stood out, possibly waiting for them. The hedgehog would answer Mina quietly before beginning to sneak up to the building.*

“I believe it is…Quickly, lets get moving. And be ready for anything.”

*The hedgehog would stick to the shadows as his heart was racing. It almost seemed like an eternity as they approached the building. They haven’t been caught yet…And he could feel they were mere yards away from Arrow. This was it. It had to be it. If not, then they were screwed. Without Lil’s ability to feel Arrow’s presense? How would they find him? It could take weeks…Time they didn’t have.*

*As Lil’ got to the front door, he took a quick glance at the lock…Didn’t seem to be trapped in anyway…Would only make sense if it was locked from the inside after all. It gave him the confidence to slowly and carefully unlock the door, taking care to keep quiet as he heard the lock disengage and slowly began to open the door to see what was inside…He wasn’t sure if he was ready to see what he was about to see, but they didn’t have time to spare.*

    {➹} – LIL DIDN’T NEED TO TELL THEM twice, the girls already had their guards up. Amy had a tightened grip on her weapon, the compact crossbow already loaded and ready to go, Tekno was scanning the area and Mina was ready to go at a moment’s notice. The mongoose knew she couldn’t keep up with the likes of Lil, but she’d be damned if she didn’t try. Nothing was getting between her and her partner this time. Not again.

     They were all close behind the younger hedgehog, never deviating from their hiding places except to advance towards the building. Once at it, they immediately took up positions covering Lil as they worked on the lock and once the sound of the open door came, Mina couldn’t help but stiffen. She was in the same boat as Lil, unsure if she wanted to see what laid inside but a small nudge from Amy snapped the singer’s attention to the pink hedgehog. 

     “Go. We’ll cover you. It’s the least we can do.” Her tone was insistent, and Tekno’s nod was all Mina needed to know that this was likely the couple’s way of making up for what happened. She wanted to argue it wasn’t necessary but now wasn’t the time, she merely smiled in thanks before taking a breath and turning to join Lil in opening the door. 

     The one room inside was unremarkable, bare bones except for some amenities, but that wasn’t what caught the singer’s eyes. What did was the all too familiar blue form leaning against the bed opposite the door; pale, weak, their labored breathing breaking the silence in the room…but there was still awareness in the browning eyes that looked up at them. Sonic was alive, and that was all she needed to rush forward to his side.

     It may have been purely dumb luck that there were no traps in the room, and that the sullied hero seemed to be alone, but little would have stopped the mongoose from embracing him regardless. For her, this was the best case scenario. 

     Outside, however? There were eyes on them; watching and waiting.