#I can't even buy good weapons to fight back with

[arthursfuckinghat]

Playing red dead online really is a nightmare to play as a beginner like it doesn't matter if you're delivering goods or taking in a bounty, someone out there is going to make your life hell until you join a new server

[catcze]

Wriothesley can hear your loud stomps from a mile away as you furiously speed-walk to his office door like a bloodhound trailing a scent. Even if not for that, the way that you bang your fist on the door is enough to grab his attention.

"WRIOTHESLEY." Comes booming in from the other side of the door. It's thick wood. He wonders how deaf he would have gone if the door hadn't protected him. The door (the thick, supposedly impenetrable door) rattles on its hinges like a screen in a hurricane when you try to kick it again. "DID YOU EAT MY DONUTS."

It's not even an accusation at that point. It's practically a declaration of war.

"WRIOTHESLEY!" You yell so loudly a group of guards turning the corner down the hall scramble back the way they came. "Open up, jackass!"

Wriothesley, knowing he cannot escape the consequences of his actions, merely settles deeper into his chair as he drinks his tea. His last meal. Drink. Similar thing.

The door keeps rattling as you yell profanities at him, until one of his traitorous guards approaches you hesitantly, saying not a single word but offering up the spare key to his office with shaky hands, head low and aggressively avoiding eye contact.

"Oh!" you say, demeanor switching immediately, losing the intimidating glint in your eye as you gingerly take the key. You smile kindly. "Thank you very much!"

Then you turn back to the door, the threat of violence in your eye as you wield the key like a weapon of war, inserting it into the keyhole and twisting it with a dark finality. The guard wonders if they should fear for their superior's wellbeing.

Wriothesley looks up from his newspaper as you close the door ominously behind you, somehow maintaining a blasé facadé even while staring down certain death.

"Well?" you prompt him, eye twitching like a stressed villain from a kid's cartoon show. You round on him in an instant, too quick for him to escape. Somehow, he keeps up his poker face. "Care to explain where my donuts went, Duke of Meropide?"

"I didn't eat them," He deadpans, staring you right in the eye. He pointedly does not acknowledge the white powdered sugar on his face.

"There's white powdered sugar on your face."

"Ah. So there is."

Another cartoony villain eye twitch. "Want to try that again?"

"...I love you?"

"And I love you. Last chance, though."

And he folds like a lawn chair. Wriothesley knows this is a fight he can't win. Even Neuvillette would tell him it's best to just kick the bucket and plead guilty at this point. He sighs breaking eye contact first like a wolf with its tail between its legs.

"Okay, I'll buy you another dozen of them."

You cross your arms, staring at him. He sighs.

"Another two dozen."

You soften just the slightest bit, coming close to perch on his lap and lean into his space. Instinctively, his arms come to wrap around your middle, pulling you against him.

"And?"

Wriothesley leans forward too, enough for your foreheads to touch. You can feel the breath of his sigh against your lips.

"And you have my sincerest apologies for taking your things. In my defense, I thought they were mine at first.”

“Apology accepted,” you say, satisfied, and peck him quickly on the lips. Before it can turn into anything else though, you’re springing up from his lap. Ignoring the disappointed furrow in his brow and the way his arms have still not moved from their position holding you earlier, you take his hand and pull him up from his chair with such startling enthusiasm and surprising strength that it has him stumbling for a second. You pull him towards the door regardless.

“C’mon, you’re making good on that apology right now, Wrio! Hope you finished your work!”

And no, technically he hasn’t finished his work. But he already knows that you’ve got him wrapped around your finger, and that pushing that work to tomorrow wouldn’t hurt. Probably. Whatever— it’d be worth it.

So he just sighs and gives the palm resting in his a squeeze and let’s himself be pulled along. You squeeze back.

“As long as you let me have a few. Those were pretty good.”

[writers-potion]

Do you have any tips on how to write a fight scene where the villain has a knife, but the hero has no weapon? Like, how do i make this a fair fight? Or is this the wrong place to ask this?

Definitely the right place to ask, dear fellow struggling writer. Please do refer to my Knives & Daggers post for more general stuff and weapons and fighting!

In a fight, one side having a weapon while the other is empty handed will create an imbalance, but a knife that requires physical proximity for a proper attack doesn't create a huge imbalance that can't be overcome. (unlike in the case of firearms and long swords)

You can consider:

Giving your hero good protection gear, like forearms guards or thick leather collar that earns them the precious seconds before the knife is buried in their skin.

Giving your hero an improvised weapon. Grab a pencil from the desk. An umbrella? A chopstick, even?

Give your hero better skills. If the other is an untrained couch potato and your hero is a trained martial artist, your hero is bound to win, knife or no knife.

If the opponent is unskilled with a knife, let them have a few swings, and show off how your hero can pull off impressive dodging moves.

During the fight, you can:

Have the person stab the hero, but due to blood and sweat, the knife slips out of their hand and the hero gets a chance to push back in a hand-to-hand combat

Focus your hero's attacks on the knife arm of the opponent, landing kicks on their wrist and targeting the shoulders so that they won't be able to use the knife.

Since the knife requires proximity, give your hero the advantage of speed over the opponent. If they're able to land quick jabs and distance themselve quickly, they'll be able to hold out.

When the opponent closes in for a stab, the hero can hold out a cushion/wooden panel and when the knife get lodged in this "shield", the hero can quickly yank the shield aside, forcing the opponent to let go of the knife.

Let your hero jump on top of the opponent and quickly crush their knife arm with their foot.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

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[kieran-granola]

Material Boy

(This one is available on AO3)

When he’s not busy being a vigilante, Tim likes to think that he’s a pretty simple guy. He has normal, civilian friends. He's awkward when he talks to people he wants to bang. He likes skateboarding and playing Warlocks & Warriors. He dropped out of high school.

He also, like many kids of his generation, grew up collecting superhero merchandise and memorabilia.

And yes, maybe he never got out of the habit of collecting super-trinkets even after joining the vigilante game — a fact he keeps between himself and God, he can only imagine how much shit Steph and the others would give him if they knew — but it's not like he steals stuff from the heroes he knows. He just... buys things. A lot of things.

Which brings him to his current problem: the amount of merchandise created depends a lot on a hero's popularity. This means that Superman has insane amounts of merch. Wonder Woman and Batman too, to a lesser extent. In Gotham, Robin does pretty well for kids' stuff, and Nightwing has inspired more than one, uh, adult line of toys.

…But Red Hood? As tacky as brands can get with their products, they know better than to create merch of mass murdering rogues and villains, and unfortunately people aren't sure whether Red Hood qualifies a good guy. This means that Tim's haul is Very Poor when it comes to Hood. Which is an issue on account of Tim's massive crush on Jason.

How is a man supposed to pine in dignity when he can't even find a decent body pillow to warm his lonely bed? How?!

Tim obviously has to fix this problem. He has to rehabilitate Red Hood and ensure a steady supply of bling for his display cases. And shelves. And furniture. And possibly wardrobe, he's not picky.

He has to.

Which is why he ends up raving about Red Hood, his crime-fighting exploits, and his charity work on social media. He uses all of his covers' accounts and even creates a few more, enthusing people and posting praise until, finally, his amateur PR campaign snowballs.

He knows his job is done when his hashtags start trending outside of the Gotham metro area, and the first Red Hood plushie comes out of Build-A-Bear.

___________________________

Jason is bemused when he first gets wind of his rising popularity. Sure, it's nice to be appreciated and the genuine testimonials from Gothamites warm the cockles of his dead, dead heart, but where did the hype come from? And why are people trying to ask him for autographs? He's a crime lord! He's dangerous and scary, and people should definitely not feel comfortable enough to ask him for selfies!

…Oh fuck, is that it? Is someone trying to sabotage his reputation?

Disturbed, Jason reaches out to Oracle for some help with finding the person behind this heinous plan. He's not entirely sure why Babs laughs for five minutes straight after hearing his question, but she eventually tells him that the original accounts extolling his virtues belong to Red Robin's covers.

Shrugging to himself, he suits up and heads to Tim's nest. He busts in, ready to deliver the wrath of the Hood on Tim for making him look like a hero when he's a Very Mean, Very Dangerous Badass… only to find Tim eating Froot Loops out of some violently lime liquid, while wearing what looks like chibi Red Hood pajamas, complete with little cat ears over the stylized helmet.

Suffice to say, that display takes the wind out of Jason's sails. He holsters his weapons back and takes off his helmet so Tim can properly appreciate how appalled he is before speaking.

"Okay, what the fuck, Timbo?"

Tim blinks. "You wanna be a bit more specific there?"

"I wouldn't even know where to start. Just. What the fuck."

"Well, I'm having dinner?" Tim tries, shoving a spoonful of cereal in his mouth.

"Froot Loops in, what is that, cucumber juice? That's dinner?" Jason stares harder.

Tim swallows his spoonful thickly. "It's Mountain Dew, actually."

"Okay but that's worse. You get how that's worse, right?"

"Did you seriously come here to talk about my meal plans?"

"I came here to ask why you decided to ruin my street cred, and to kick your ass—" Jason winces as Tim eats another mouthful, "—but apparently you're doing a great job at hurting yourself on your own."

Tim gives him a blank look. "I ruined your street cred? How?"

"You told people I'm a hero," Jason says accusingly.

"Ah, I see what the problem is. Look, Jason, this might come as a shock to you and I understand if you need to take a minute to process this very new piece of information but… you are a hero, dumbass."

Jason seriously considers throwing his helmet at Tim but, with the state Tim is in, he's pretty sure it would feel like pouring water on a drowning man.

"I'm not the kind of hero they make jammies of! I mean, what the fuck are you even wearing?"

Tim pulls on his shirt to show off the design, perking up. "These? They're Red Catting Hood limited edition PJs. They're cute, right?"

You're cute, Jason mutters under his breath, before taking a few menacing steps forward. "They're ridiculous. I'm not a cat. And I'm definitely not cute."

"We're going to have to agree to disagree there."

Jason stares at him. "You think I'm cute?"

"No, I think you're a cat," Tim deadpans, still eating his disgusting mixture.

"I… I tried to kill you, remember?!"

"Yeah, you did. And now I have little cartoon kitties of you on my jim-jams. Life's full of curveballs, isn't it?"

Jason is pretty sure he's having a minor breakdown in Tim's kitchen. He opens and closes his mouth silently several times, confusion robbing him of his words. Tim watches him for a couple of minutes, then he stands up and shuffles closer to pat him on the back.

Jason lets out a very unmanly squeak of horror when he spots matching Red Catting Hood slippers on Tim's feet.

Tim shushes him. "Hey, it's okay, dude. I understand that you don't know how to deal with people expressing positive emotions in your direction after getting the Bruce special growing up, but it's gonna be fine. Just breathe. You'll get used to it."

Jason stares at Tim with wide eyes. Then he gently takes him by the shoulders.

"Timmers. Tim. You crazy little birdie. Telling me I'm cute, talking about emotions... Are you okay? Is this a cry for help? Talk to me."

"You ask me that now?" Tim gives him a judgmental look. "I can't believe that's where you draw the line. I mean, where's your 'Be my Robin' enthusiasm?"

"It drowned in your bowl of Mountain Dew next to the Froot Loops. No, but seriously. If I'm your last resort, then you can tell me what's wrong. No need for tacky PJs, I'll listen."

Tim's eyes narrow. "Okay, then listen to this. First of all, my PJs aren't tacky. Second, I like you, dumbass, and yeah, I think you're cute. And third, I hyped you up on social media because I wanted Red Hood merch for my collection."

Jason takes a second to let that confession wash over him. He regrets removing his helmet. He's blushing, he knows he's blushing. In fact he must have been a redhead in another life, because he must be reminiscent of a tomato at this point, and oh no. He's a grown-ass man, why is he blushing like a nerd for this incredibly sleep-deprived, adorable maniac?

"You have a collection?" he squeaks.

"Uh, yeah. I started it when I was 4." Tim raises his eyebrows. "But nevermind that, are you seriously going to leave me hanging? I just told you I like you, man."

"I don't know what to say," Jason chokes out. "This... You're—I'm not good for you."

"Sorry but the entire internet would disagree. You're a hero, remember? And I can take care of myself, thank you very much. I don't need to be patronized."

Jason gestures at Tim's dinner. "That is demonstrably false."

Tim pouts. "Well. If you were my boyfriend, you could make sure I eat properly."

"Is that what you want? To be my b—" Jason's voice breaks. He swallows before trying again. "To be my boyfriend?"

"I mean, yeah?" Tim shrugs. "That's not why I hyped you up, I'm not kidding about the merch thing. But. Yeah. That would be… Good. Nice."

"Oh."

"Is that something you'd like too?"

Jason licks his lips. "Yeah, I—I think so. Yeah. There's just one thing though..."

Hope sparkles in Tim's eyes. "What?"

"It's just... I can't let people think you like me more than I like you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means—" Jason tugs on the fabric of Tim's PJs, "—that for every Red Hood item you own, you have to get me some matching Red Robin merch."

Tim grins a wide, bright, genuine smile that almost offsets the deep purple bruising under his tired eyes. "It's a deal."

___________________________

(They show up to the Manor together two months later to announce their relationship. They walk in hand-in-hand, Jason wearing a Red Robin hoodie, Tim in a Red Hood henley. Damian doesn't even have to pretend to gag at the sight.)

[serickswrites]

I'm going out here on tumblr spreading love to my favourite writers, and I'm here to say you're one of my favourites, I love your blog so much and I think you're overall a nice person who deserves all love in the world, even if you stop writing someday. wish you all the best ♡

This is the sweetest message! And has totally made my day! From the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much. I started this little blog thinking that nothing would come of it other than I might put some of my ideas out of my head. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that not only would people read what I put out there, but that they would enjoy it!

Here's a little something for you, anon, for stopping by.

Warnings: physical violence, threat of death, self sacrifice, blood, impalement, unconsciousness

"Civilian, you need to run. Now." Hero's voice was low and urgent. They could see Supervillain approaching. The faster Civilian could get out of there, the better. They would be safe if they could get far, far away from Hero.

"I'm not leaving you! You can't just send me away every time you think there's danger approaching." Civilian pulled Hero to look at them.

Hero gazed into their lover's eyes. They had to get Civilian away. Quickly. "Danger is approaching. And I can't fight off Supervillain and keep you safe."

"Then let's flee together! You can't fight Supervillain! They are too powerful."

Hero knew that. But it didn't matter. Someone had to fight them. Someone had to try and stop them.

Before Hero could reply, Supervillain reached the edge of where Hero and Civilian had been on their date. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the lovers. How precious," Supervillain sneered. "Am I interrupting?"

"Go, now. Please," Hero begged Civilian, their voice barely audible.

"Hero, affiliating yourself with the unpowered riffraff I see. You always did have poor taste. I'm going to enjoy ripping them apart limb from limb while you watch."

"I won't let you do that," Hero said loudly. They had to get Civilian away.

Supervillain chuckled. "You are powerless to stop me."

Before Hero could reply, Supervillain lunged for Civilian. Hero knew they only had moments before Supervillain would use their super speed to grab Civilian and make good on their threats. Hero did the only thing they could think of--they threw themself in front of Civilian, shoving Civilian out of the way.

Hero choked on the blood filling their mouth as Supervillain's weapon burst through their stomach. They could feel the hilt of the blade pressing against their back as Supervillain impaled them. "Pl-Pl-Please," they begged.

"Would you look at that," Supervillain said with a dark smile, "it looks like you're the one I'll be ripping limb from limb while Civilian watches."

Hero's tenuous grip on consciousness was fading. The pain was overwhelming. They could feel their blood flowing down their body, dribbling down their chin. But they couldn't get enough of a breath to say anything. They had to get Civilian away. They could hear Civilian screaming their name. Could barely see Civilian's terror filled face.

But they couldn't say anything. They couldn't move their body around the blade they were impaled on. They could only hope that their death would buy Civilian enough time to run as far away as possible.

Hero screamed as Supervillain twisted the blade in their back. They could see the blood-coated blade--coated with their blood--twisting in the air. "Don't worry, Hero," Supervillain whispered in their ear as Hero's world whited out with pain, "you won't be alone in the after life for long. I'll be sure to dispatch your love shortly after you."

***

Watching Hero be impaled by Supervillain's long, strange weapon was the worst thing Civilian had to do. They hadn't seen Supervillain move. They just knew one moment Hero was in front of them, shoving them away, and the next the blade burst through Hero's stomach, blood pouring from the wound and their mouth.

Why hadn't they listened and just run? Why hadn't they followed Hero's orders and escaped? Hero wouldn't be hurt if they had listened.

Watching Hero struggle to stay conscious as they choked on the blood filling their mouth was awful. Watching Hero beg--beg for Civilian's life--was beyond painful. And watching Hero go suddenly limp as Supervillain twisted the blade in their body was the beyond the worst thing they had ever had to do. It was unimaginable.

"Disgusting," Supervillain sneered as they ripped their strange weapon from Hero's body. Hero's body dropped into a heap. "You didn't even try to fight me. No matter. I can dispatch you to the next world now."

Supervillain raised the weapon once more. Civilian surged forward. "Please! Don't kill them! Please! I'll give you anything you want! Just please," Civilian sobbed as they reached Hero's body," please save them."

Supervillain cocked their head. "You will give me anything?"

Civilian nodded as they knelt next to Hero. They placed themself between Supervillain and Hero. "I know you can save them. I know that your powers are vast. I know you can." This had to work. Supervillain could save Hero. They would give anything for the price of Hero's life.

"I can. Just because I can doesn't mean I will," Supervillain said coldly.

"Please," Civilian begged, "please. I will give you anything. Anything you want. Just name it and its yours! Just please save them."

Supervillain considered a moment before grinning. "Anything I want?"

Civilian nodded vigorously. "Yes, anything. Just please save Hero!"

Supervillain knelt down next to Civilian. Civilian flinched, further covering Hero's body with their own. "I need to touch them to heal them."

Civilian eyed Supervillain warily as Supervillain pressed their hand to the bloody, gaping wound in Hero's stomach. Hero's face contorted with pain, but their eyes didn't open. "Don't hurt them!"

"But that's the fun part."

Civilian opened their mouth to protest, but stopped as they watched the blood that poured from the wound begin to slow and then stop. They watched in awe as the skin slowly reknit itself until the wound was closed.

"Th-Thank you," Civilian stammered. Hero would live. Hero would live. HERO WOULD LIVE!

Supervillain nodded. They quickly lifted Hero into their arms, throwing Hero's limp body over their shoulders. "What are you doing?" Civilian rose quickly, too. Though they had no hope of beating Supervillain, they would fight for Hero.

"Taking that which was promised me." Supervillain turned to walk away.

"I never said you can have Hero! Let them go!"

Supervillain stopped and turned suddenly. Hero's limbs jostled with the movement as they hung limply over Supervillain's broad shoulders. "But you did. You said you would give me anything. Anything and you wouldn't stop me. I could have anything I wanted. I want Hero."

"No! You can't!"

Supervillain dropped Hero onto the floor once more. Their weapon was in hand and pointed at Hero's heart before Civilian could say anything. "Then I will end this now."

Civilian's heart stopped. "No! Please, don't kill them!"

"Then let me take my prize."

Civilian swallowed. "What will you do with them?"

"Anything I want." Supervillain surveyed Civilian coolly. "But I won't kill them if that's what you are worried about."

Civilian breathed a sigh of relief. If Hero was alive they could find a way to save Hero.

Supervillain gathered Hero's limp body up once more. "I don't need to. There are far worse things than death," Supervillain said with a dark chuckle and disappeared with Hero before Civilian could offer up any more protests.

What had they done?

[mcbride]

Daryl Dixon Rewatch S1E01 - L'âme perdue

i have some thoughts, but before we get to it and explore the episode, i just wanna point out that the writing is what stood out for me. after seasons of mediocre writers and writing on TWD, it felt like a breath of fresh air. that ain't saying much, but it's a big improvement. also the cinematography, plsss!!

i will digress, this will be long, boring and full of spec for s2!!! read more after the jump...

the best part of it for me was Daryl. Daryl is finally using his words, keeping some things close to the vest he ain't no longer wearing, but he is actually speaking up, telling shit how he sees it, being his observant self, and not taking that religious crap bullshit they trying to feed him. he is also done with it all, and his goal is always and will always be getting back home.

"You deserve a happy ending, too." the ep starts with Judith voiceover, which is repeated in Daryl's feverish dream, and once again by Laurent. Carol isn't mentioned directly, but you can feel her presence throughout the episode. it's sort of a quiet energy that hangs in there whenever Daryl mentions he wants to get back home, he needs to use the radio, he needs to get to that possibly active port. and of course, her smiling face in his dream, with one of the last things he said to her "it's not like we are never gonna see each other again."

"witchy shit;" "dead priest and creepy kid," "you've been fucking with me," while putting his finger in Isa's face and storming out to borrow some cool weapons will always be hilarious to me, but it also felt like genuine Daryl is back. this is the Daryl we fell in love with. he is changed by his experiences, but he is still the OBSERVANT dude with the sass and zero tolerance for bullshit. i like this Daryl, so i will thank Zabel and Norman for bringing him back to us!

NOW let's get to the spec: i think the first episode tells us all we need to know about what is really set to happen, it's so in your face, you may not even notice and just assume they are talking metaphorically - i'm talking about the nuns, the nest, the kid, the whole conspiracy you shouldn't see coming.

for some reason it will probably never be clear, they think Daryl is the one, the messenger to deliver the new Messiah, and he's got an important role delivering the kid to the Nest, like he is the only one who can do it. i mean Isabelle watched Daryl fight and lose, and now she thinks he's Messiah's protector. PLEASE, bitch! maybe he is chosen simply because he is American, he made it across the Ocean, he must be special??? ok, i'll buy that.

now when Mother is dying she agrees Daryl is the one (to protect Laurent) and says "reasons are everywhere." YES, there's a reason Daryl had to come back to protect the kid, there's a reason he doesn't get on that boat to return home, too - and that reason is CAROL is coming. he cannot leave, she's coming to him, and i believe that TOGETHER they are the ones supposed to save Laurent.

WHY Carol, you ask? Daryl just may be to close to the Nest, their people to see them for who they are - some sort of cult who believes "the kid is the cure for a sick world," Mother's words. but how are they dangerous??

they literally tell you, if you're listening. the monk, possibly Losang, says the kid is special, says the kid is the NEW Messiah. Isabelle tells Daryl they need to take the kid there cause he needs safety, teaching and nurturing UNTIL he is ready. ready for what, Daryl asks. ready to be the new Messiah and lead the REVIVAL of humanity.

now Laurent said they had walker!Father Jean there because they were waiting for him to rise again. say what, kiddo? but Father can't rise again, cause he ain't special, he ain't the new Messiah. so there you go, i think the Nest, they're planning to turn Laurent and wait for him to RISE again (be the cure) with help from praying and poetry. maybe the good guys ain't so good.

and this is exactly why the kid is also valuable to Genet. perhaps she also wants to test whether the kid is special or not, knowing his history.

i can see Carol making it to France and figuring out their nefarious plans in like the first 5 mins. and that's why she needs to come to help save Laurent. that would pretty much bring their story full circle, and allow them to deal with the guilt and the trauma of not being able to safe loved ones.

[radioisntdead]

Psst

Since we have a hat gremlin- what about other hat wearing Characters?

Sir pent., husker, Lucifer... SUSAN (angel wore a hat one time and so didnt vaggie- do they count?) and Valentino?

My only note is that if Valentino has one it is the equivalent to the most angry lil devil that bites his bald ass head like a rabid flea.

Good evening my dear! I GOT THIS ASK IN THE MORNING AND I KID YOU NOT IT HAS BEEN ON MY BRAIN SINCE. Switching between third person and referring to the reader as you

I'm thinking Sir Pentious's hat creature is like a little lizard, like the gecko lizard that tries to sell you car insurance but instead of car insurance it's just insurance, for what you ask? No idea it's probably a scam don't buy anything from hat lizard, Lil' hat lizard likes to take out with Sir Pentious's hat when he's sleeping, freaks out the eggy Bois, hat gecko totally tries to be a wingman and set him up with Cherri bomb! They are the best winggecko

Huskers hat creature is SMALL, they like the warmth from his fur, you take a lil' nappy nap, snoozy time, when he was a overlord they would help him win casino games, how you ask? I don't know, I don't know how it works but probably by stealing cards or something, his hat creature is probably drunk off their rockers too! Probably chill in cups when not in the hat.

Lucifers hat creature is a duck, 100% a regular duck, a duck that likes to vibe in a hat, that's all I got, the hat quacks. [Lilith gave you to him before leaving.] He likes to show you off to Charlie and the other sins "LOOK AT MY DUCK! THEY REALLY LIKE MY HAT HAhaA"

ANGEL'S CRIME HAT, his lil hat creature is just a lil' guy! He treats em' like a second child [the first is fat nuggets obviously] takes you out of the hat to dress you up, you probably ride fat nuggets like a horse when out of the hat, crime hat creature is totally small enough for that,

I despise Valentino so the bastard is, as per usual dying.

[Warning for mild implied suicide, it's not in depth but It's implied, just a sentence not the reader or the grapist.]

He doesn't have a hat gremlin he has a hat cursed demon leech.

Cursed leech wasn't always cursed, they originally clinged to one of Valentino's victims who ran out during extermination day and you can guess what fate they met.

You, the little hat thing wanted revenge for your fallen friend and so you exited the hat you were originally attached to and infested Valentino's.

Valentino has a constant headache because you bite, sharp teeth piercing his skin, he can't take the hat off because you latch on like a leech, you probably have some diseases that transfer to Valentino so he has to go to the doctors often.

Hat leech will eventually lead to Valentino's permanent death and only then will they be satisfied in taking revenge for their fallen friend, they will exit Valentino's hat and return to the one they left, maybe they'll move on to someone else and be their friend but until then they're on their own.

Vaggie doesn't have a hat gremlin, she has a BOW gremlin, allegedly came from heaven, you are the bow itself. Unraveling to be a bow creature that helps taking people out.

Bonus for Vox because he has a hat right? Or am I delusional we'll find out.

Lil robot creature, totally doubles as a spy, vox's hat is sometimes seen around the hotel stalking Alastor.

SUSAN MY BELOVED OLD GRUMPY LADY, I gotta write for her again soon!

Her hat creature is just like her! Old! her hat will rise up for a moment curse someone out before shrinking back down, similar to Rosie's gremlin, maybe they're related? They probably get into fights, the folks of cannibal town just see Susan's hat and Rosie's hat going at it, dueling probably with weapons I can see them using guns or sticks, sharp sticks,

Susan likes her hat creature, treats em' like a pet and feeds them sinners.

DOODLES TIME, I can't draw anyone's hats for the life of me.

My handwriting sucks but we don't talk about that

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

imagine meeting matt for the first time

The chaos had died down, collateral damage was low and the rest of your team were scattered around - some looking for civilians that needed help and others directing first responders. With hands on your hip, you took several deep breaths trying to maintain the energy balling inside you. The ability to manipulate energy from your surroundings and use it as a weapon of sorts, was physically draining after a while. This fight had been long and you had pushed past your limits, and now as things were settling down, so was your body.

Your eyes fluttered back and gravity did its thing; pulling you down to the ground into a pair of strong arms.

"Hang on," a man's voice sang into your ears; your head dipped back against the his forearm, his face blurred from your impaired vision. He helped you to your feet and walked you over to a concrete wall, short enough for you to take a seat. He sat next to you, hand on your back as he asked if you were okay.

"Yeah," you nodded, embarrassed. Holding a hand above your brow, you turned to him and recognized him from the fight. He was obviously a good guy, but a stranger; a friend of a friend that came to help. There had been no time for a proper introduction until now and even with his helmet covering the top of his face...you knew.

fucking knew he was another handsome superhero.

"Fuck," you exhaled, eyes blinking to restore your vision. When it fully recovered after a few blinks, you were right.

What you could see was gorgeous.

He laughed. "Take me out on a date first."

Getting up slowly, you faltered and he was quick to his feet, hands on your waist.

"Nope, nope," you exclaimed, attempting to walk away but he urged you back down. Feeling weak still, you obliged and sighed, giving him another look and he smiled in your direction. "See, I just can't," you laughed and he asked what you were talking about.

Turning to face him, you looked him up and down. "You look like you could wreck my life and enjoy doing it."

"I don't know about that," he laughed, but shrugged and held out his hand. You took it and introduced yourself, waiting for him to do the same. He smirked. "From one.." he pointed to himself than you, two heroes, vigilantes, the good guys. "...to another, can you keep my name hush hush?"

"So you're mysterious too, great, you're definitely going to screw me over..."

"Matt..." he chuckled and you took his hand again, giving him a firm shake. When your hands released, he asked if you were feeling better.

"Oh, don't pretend like you care," you teased and he grinned.

"Well, as the person who is going to wreck your whole like - at least let me buy you dinner tonight..."

His proposal sent waves down to the pit of your stomach and the thought of him pinning his body against yours - oh the possibilities, made your cheeks warm.

"Sure, Matthew - can I call you that?"

He nodded. "You can call me anything."

Patting him on the thigh, you stood up and the ground didn't feel dizzy. You looked around and saw Rogers discussing something with a few SHIELD agents; he caught your gaze and motioned you over.

"The boss is calling, but you have a cell phone somewhere in that getup?"

"Of course."

He reached for a pocket at his side and pulled out his phone, handing it over with a shit eating grin; you snatched it out of his hand and asked if you could text yourself from his number.

"You need to put your contact information in, so I can use the accessibility feature to call you - cause...you know, I'm blind."

"Right, I remember Bruce mentioning that," you saved your contact information and handed over the cellphone. Matt took it and smiled at you.

"I'll call you later then."

Staring at his bottom lip, your heart pounded and Matt's face perked up as if he could tell you were fawning over him like an animal in heat.

"I'll be waiting," you mused, reaching down for his hand. He gave your hand a little squeeze and you mentioned that you enjoyed a lighter dinner. "...especially when I expect to be wreck later on during the night."

"Duly noted," Matthew replied coolly and when you turned, walking away from him; he could hear the pounding of your heart and he couldn't help the smile growing from the corner of his mouth.

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 27-30 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

I make these notes as I work on an episode, however, people have been so attentive and observant with their comments that I started a tag fragments feedback where we dive even deeper into themes and interactions in the comic. These comments are a blessing, often pointing out things that my own brain doesn't register.

Obligatory ShB spoiler warning.

Episode 27 begins with a chat about the original weapons that are merely a stylish-looking convenience for them ic and for me ooc, so that I don't have to draw them lugging their weapons around.

Essentia's just a name for Vivi's spear, not like the whole concept. I introduced it around the beginning of the ShB arc. Alisaie's weapons have no name yet, there's a possibility to do something cute referring to twins.. I shall think of it :3c

Look at this child being all smug for having been able to help recreating something previously thought unique, and, um, flirting.. In her own way.....

Vivi be like, sigh, "ah, back on her bs already... Better indulge her while she's still in a nice mood".

Alisaie's left arm's stronger than both Vivi's. As a dragoon he doesn't only use magic to amplify his jumps, if it works on legs, why not extend it to arms as well? Not unlike what monks do, minus the actual physical training. Basically he cheats with magic in real fights. A casual friendly duel isn't worth expending aether, so he only relies on his actual strength :'>

He also can't do friendly duels because his Echo only telegraphs hostile attacks. A friend would stop before his blade cuts him, so Vivi's kinda blind, only relying on his own average skill. A legendary hero that's no fun to spar with if you're remotely competent.

..Which has no negative effect on Exarch's fanboyism.

Several people said they look forward to said sparring session, and I felt like I failed them because I had no plans to follow through with this. Then I thought some more.. Do we mean every little thing we say or think? Sometimes it's just distracted nonsense. If every action and word were hooks/setups for the story, it'd feel artificial. This's just my opinion, but some scenes have to have idle chatter and musings for realism.

Vivi and Alphi look like door-to-door salesmen, yet the Chais are buying multiples of whatever they sell.

This's a looooooongg post, under the cut we go~

A random thing that thematically belongs here, but didn't make it in the comic: Vivi ended up being more freaked out by Eulmore than Amh Araeng.

Feo "privacy breach" Ul :> They greet each other so casually that it's clear, this's far from being the first time.

One of my personal fav panels so far. People loved the "crystal mystel" so much but I can't take credit for that! My brain's full of soup that's a mix of everything canon and my own generous additions, but I THINK one of the pixies calls him that ingame, sometime post 5.0.

You probably didn't know that you needed more Exarch and Feo Ul interactions till now, I've got you covered. Their scenes will take time to trickle in, but they EXIST and go back as far as their first meeting.

Exactly what happened.

One more episode where Vivi doesn't utter a word, but it doesn't feel like that.

Tank!Exarch fanclub, +1 member. Vivi's pleasantly surprised by the sudden shift in Exarch's demeanor. He genuinely admires him here. "Lead me anywhere daddy".

Ready for a guild wars 1 (one!) joke? No? I'm making it anyway. Lyna casts gaze of contempt (effect: removes enchantments on target foe)

She's such a good daughter with great intuition. She feels uneasy about this way before Vivi feels anything at all. He just looks. Perceives. He has eyes, dammit! And Exarch has those stupid sexy sandals and shiny crystal arm and stylish flowy robes and he's generally kinda cool? It's official, it has begun: Vivi's attracted to Exarch here.

Zooming in super close to bring your attention to his thigh gap <w<

A closeup for the hell of it C: His eyes have a natural faint glow that's just there, it doesn't mean anything, like, genuinely.

Vivi tries to appease Lyna. He has no idea why she keeps glaring at him, probably still not trusting a stranger. He uses his charm as a casual manipulation. Unfortunately, Lyna falls for it. For now.

As per msq, Exarch's kneeling, not collapsing (although that would've been just as fitting tbh). While still not trusting him too much, Vivi slowly begins to respect a reputable ruler and a skilled fighter, and WHY IS HE KNEELING MY LORD GET UP?! Vivi hates being treated like some sort of a messiah. That pushes him further inside the box of being a mythical figure, and denies his humanity.

Normal colors and lighting!! For one episode....

The scene on the left isn't meant to feel cozy and inviting, while the right one is. Sickly, cold, washed out colors vs darker and warmer ones. I'm putting a lot of thought into this, just wanted to celebrate it a lil C:

Episodes 28-29 show Vivi and Exarch's ways of handling unexpected personal hostility. Vivi casually whips out a V and a silly grin, while Exarch.....

He tried, okay?!

A thing on their positioning in this scene that I didn't plan consciously, it just happened: Exarch's framed by the Crystarium, appearing more aligned with it, while the elf pile's surrounded by an idyllic natural frame. Something something about the greenery meaning life, and Exarch looking a bit out of place here.

This's our first, but not last encounter of an imagination theater :>

The dragons are goofy on purpose. Well, sort of. I can count on one hand the amount of times I drew non-humanoid creatures, and the tone here doesn't demand anything super serious from me. Also it makes sense in-character, Exarch probably never saw a dragon up close.

Take a good look at this lil shit. I indulged in illustrating his badass moment before pointing the "camera" away for a while. We're heading into the Il Mheg arc that lasts for months and has no cats ;w;

Vivi's iconic Protagonist Grin >:D

Also, Ryne. Just to keep your expectations grounded: while I personally like her, she has no relevance in this story, and very little screentime. I'm currently having Eden raid brainworms, might write a scene or two related to that, but we're talking many years into the future. Until then, she doesn't do much.

ShB cast's diverse and extremely fun to explore, but if I went on tangents the comic would literally never progress. Gotta be honest, I'm already terrified that some readers might drift away before reaching the wolgraha part of this wolgraha comic. I don't wanna rush OR dilute the main plot too much, if that makes sense. Also, just like in real life, you probably don't form perfect connections with every member of your social circle, some people grow closer than others. Vivi has next to no connection to Minfilia/Ryne, he also stays away from little girls after one of those ended up becoming his lifelong problem *snorts and points at Alisaie*

Desires, and feasting on them? A dungeon meshi nod? More likely than you think.

Feo Ul, sprawled out on his chest like that, visually resembles a burning heart.

Emet antithesis :3c

Imagine loving your pet so much that you let him do this. Feo Ul isn't moved by the physical act AND the joking accusation.

While seemingly slacking for a dozen episodes, Vivi formed bonds with Feo Ul and Ardbert, and thus secured the future of the two stars. Now he has friends that aren't his coworkers first and foremost, that he genuinely wants to fight for. This's what makes him tick as a hero: a quiet plea of a friend, not even asking him directly, a stark contrast to being dragged around and cried at for help. If Vivi's introduction to an entity (person/group of people) is "they suffer, they need help", he shrugs it off. Everyone suffers and needs help, he can't split into thousands of vivis to please them all.

He's only truly motivated to help, or empathizes with those who he gets to know through other means. Take Ardbert, his strange behavior on the Source, then reintroduction that's confusion and companionable snark, but not wailing for help. And Feo Ul, they hang out with him just because, they're safe.

He may not run off to fight the local Lightwarden this instant, but when he gets around to it, he's earnest for a change.

This's all I have for now, thanks for reading!!

[slotumn]

Thoughts and ponderings on how to make the Golden Deer eviler™ and more involved in Fódlan politics and the war and why that would be good for the worldbuilding (note: GD are my faves)

First and most obvious imo: war profiteering. It would help establish their character as mercantilists who can be just as cruel as others even without direct bloodshed, if they sold supplies and weapons to both Adrestia and Faerghus over the five years and profitted off said bloodshed.

Extension of the above: price gouging. Oh your country had bad harvests this year? That's so sad. So, how much are you willing to pay to make sure your troops don't starve?

More extension of the above: loan shark shit. Especially cruel if Adrestians and Faerghans are forced to borrow from a Leicesterian cartel just so they can buy stuff from... another Leicesterian cartel.

Possibly the final boss of "evil shit to sell during a war": drugs. The frontlines are said to have been in a stalemate for a while, meaning the soldiers are just stuck there up north without making much progress, for a couple years. That must be painful both physically and psychologically. Thankfully, your good friends from the Alliance have juuuust the thing to make you forget the painful reality! Ever heard of opium?

If that's not enough action, then how about: Leicester doing various operations to keep the conflict going and ensure that it can't end, either by compromise or surrender. Sabotage potential deals, do false flag operations, anything to make sure the Kingdom and Empire both fight until the last soldier, because that way they won't have any left to attack the Alliance with.

There must be desperate people escaping Kingdom and Empire and coming to the Alliance for various reasons. But it's difficult to feed all these new mouths, not to mention that it might aggro the Empire if they accept too many people from Faerghus or defectors from Adrestia. What's Leicester to do? Use them as slave labor in some remote place like the Goneril mines, obviously. They've trafficked Almyrans, they'll gladly do it to Adrestians and Faerghans, too.

Aside from making Leicester more involved in the politics, I think this is a good way to justify and set up a true three-way conflict instead of Kingdom vs Empire feat Alliance.

For the Empire, it gives a good reason for them to go on an active military campaign against Leicester (as in CF) before heading to crush the Kingdom. "Evil underhanded motherfuckers are trying to destroy us by selling us drugs and sabotaging our operations, we can't let that stand for the future of Fodlan" + stomp on them to make sure they don't try any funny business in the future.

For the Kingdom, well... I think it makes it somewhat harder to justify the Derdriu rescue part in AM*, but I do think it gives more justification to why they're totally unwilling to cooperate with the Alliance at Gronder, even aside from Dimitri being feral. Like from their POV, tf you mean "what does it achieve," you put us in debt and destroyed our economy and now you're trying to imply we should team up?

(*If it's presented the same as in canon, I think it can still work if it's framed slightly differently, like Leicester growing desperate enough to grovel for help from the same faction they were previously trying to sabotage and Dimitri decides to do it for the greater good and the future of Fódlan instead of holding a grudge)

Also a good way to fuel tension between Church and Alliance in VW even though they work together; Alliance uses the fact they've got the money to basically blackmail Church into giving them legitimacy for propaganda purposes, Church thinks Alliance is dangerous and unfaithful, partially because they've got sticks up their ass but also because they are, in fact, kinda fucked up. (And Byleth is just stuck mediating between the two rip)

Most of all, this is my personal taste but I like that it makes Fódlan even bleaker than it already is. Like if you take a step back and just look at the factions as nations instead of focusing on the virtues of the individual leaders, it's: superiority complex irredentist imperialists vs inflexible outdated zealots vs greedy backstabbing opportunists, feat. religious institution that has long since grown corrupt and complacent. If you are a random person (probably commoner) in Fódlan who does not know the leaders personally, war would look pretty bleak, especially the longer it goes on. It would look like no matter which faction wins, the average person would lose.

And I think that would make it all the more impactful when Byleth appears and ends the war, especially in SS. The chosen one and savior isn't a noble raised to lord (lol) over others, it's someone raised as a commoner* doing the dirty work (fighting and killing) for others. When they get to lead and/or the leaders listen to them, something finally changes. I have issues with how Byleth was handled as a character in base Houses (even though I grew to like them eventually), but I still think their existence and role is nice symbolically and thematically.

(*You can argue that Byleth isn't a "regular commoner" considering the Crest + their heritage, but like, they don't know about the Crest until they've lived ~20 years as a merc and in some routes they don't even fully learn about the heritage so for all practical purposes they lived and grew up as a commoner)

Think I went on a bit of a tangent but the point is: let the Golden Deer and Leicester be evil, I think it would have been really fun if they destroyed the other two countries' economies with the power of money and friendship* then had a feast afterwards like a bunch of psychopaths (*among themselves I mean, not friendship with the other factions).

[bokettochild]

I know you mostly write legend and fable as siblings but do you have any fable/legend headcanons?

Sure!

(Fable/Legend content below. Do NOT read if you dislike the ship. They are not siblings in these headcannons. This is your only warning.)

As partners, Fable is the more possessive of the two. Legend's high anxiety ass is too busy worrying if he's even worthy of her to actually be bold enough to get mad at people for hitting on her (besides, she's amazing! of course ppl are hitting on her!). Fable, however, is the sort to definitely have words with anyone who makes eyes overlong at her boyfriend. Sure, he's gorgeous, but he's her boyfriend and not up for grabs, so be respectful!

Legend's love language for receiving love is mostly physical touch, but he expresses love through gifts and acts of service. Since he is a hero though, acts of service are sort of par for the course, so gifts are his go to with Fable. He agonizes about what sorts of things to get her, and actually will write down anything he hears her say she needs (new pens, better shoes, lotion for her cracking hands). Granted, she's the princess/queen, so she's rich and can buy her own stuff, but Legend's well traveled and has connections, so he knows where to get the best quality items for her! Only, he just... leaves them where he knows she'll find them rather than making a big deal about presenting them to her. He can't wrap presents for crap after all. Fable always knows it's him of course, and she really appreciates them.

Fable's main love language for receiving love is actually acts of service! She expresses love through praise/compliments though, although generally speaking she loves cuddling as well (they both do). Unfortunately for Legend, he does not react well to praise or compliments and they actually fluster him to the extreme. Fortunately for Fable, she finds this adorable and loves it when he turns red and hides his face. She will go out of her way to compliment him in public as much as possible during events, partially to make the event tolerable, and partially to drive home how very much hers the hero really is.

They love getting dressed up together. They coordinate their outfits for everything. Cabinet meetings? They're matching. Celebrations? Matching. Addresses to the people? They're standing side by side most of the time in corresponding outfits. At this point, the tailors just always make a matching get up for the vet if they make Fable anything.

Legend hates doing public events (introvert), but he suffers through them because he doesn't want Fable alone, nor does he want to risk someone trying to hurt her without him around. Fable is well aware of this and makes sure to thank him for his efforts afterward with either a long cuddle or just doing something nice together.

She's the big spoon.

They spar together at times, and while Legend is easy to fluster, he is good at flirting back as long as he isn't thinking too hard. Putting a weapon in his hands adds to his confidence though, and makes him focus more on the fight than what he's saying. Quite frankly their sparring matches outshine most any witty romance novel anyone in Hyrule can find. They both give it their all, there's never any holding back just because it's their partner. Usually Legend wins (he fights dirty), but when Fable does get a win in, it's because she managed to pin the vet down somewhere, which usually has him speechless even after they've put their weapons away.

Legend tends to linger around the castle in his spare time. Fable has much less spare time, but it's not uncommon to find her using it flopped over across his lap and complaining about something or other, or plotting, while Legend plays with her hair.

She doesn't bring him to council meetings if she doesn't need to, but she consults him about everything that happens in them both before and after sessions.

They're both clingy. Usually, they remain in each other's proximity, and they're touching at all times, by it her hand resting on the crook of his arm, his hand on her waist/shoulders, holding hands, or just leaning against each other.

They love dancing together. Less so at gatherings of state, and more so in private or just while out traveling in the country together.

Fable loves visiting the vet's home. He visits her all the time but both enjoy the countryside far more, away from prying eyes and servants and knights all the time. She loves helping him in the orchard and while she's not very good at it, Legend appreciates the effort. She knows better than to try and help in the house though, and is more content to let him follow his rhythm and do things his way. They both know he won't ask her for help, not in hi own home, but she's aright with that.

She loves getting him books. Gifts aren't her strong suit, but Legend loves reading, so she's one step from gifting him the royal library. The only reason she hasn't yet is that if she does, she'll be out of books to give him.

He's her quirky, nerdy, adorable boyfriend and she's his badass queen. He's basically the only person not scared of her (what they've been through hardened them both, but in different ways) and she's one of the few he trusts enough to let down his walls and relax around. He trusts her to not need his protection all the time (although the more people around, the more he wants to be there as her backup) and she takes a certain pride in being able to defend him when and where she can (mostly verbally).

They're both worry-worts. After everything they'e seen, it's no shock to anyone. She tends to check in on him telepathically somewhat frequently, ad he welcomes it because it acts as an assurance for him too.

They shit-talk people telepathically at matters of state.

She has trouble not showering him in affection/gifts/praise. She doesn't want him to ever doubt her love, and she's got a lot to give. He's wary still about affection in general though and needs to back out and get his space from time to time or else he gets overwhelmed with it. She gets it though, and they've established a system of signals (items placed in certain places or particular gifts spawning on her desk) to signal what's alright or if he's overwhelmed. Legend asked if she wanted a similar system, but she's far more verbal about things than him.

[milfgyuu]

I haven't sent one of these in a hot minute! The last gifset had me thinking: Sincr it's 🎃time, how about assigning the typical horror movie roles/tropes to Seventeen? Like, we already know Mingyu is The Hot Girl that Dies First™️ 🤣 (grouping them is also fine!)

HELL YEAH, it's spooky time!!!!! I am popping these under a read-more jusssst in case there are some sweet angels on my blog that may be sensitive to the themes or aren't into the horror genre <3

but if you're into SVT and horror film roles/tropes, read below!

Cheol - is surviving. idc. he's giving Chad Michael Murray in House of Wax like he definitely is kind of the asshole with a seedy past in the movie but it's also the reason he is making it out alive because he's fighting back. mf is running around with a tire iron and a gash down the side of his face and he's PISSED.

Jeonghan/Minghao - is taking things a little too...unseriously. like "why are you guys freaking out? ooooh he's gonna getcha!" probably even finds himself getting caught or injured and laughs when everyone gets mad at him because "it was just a joke, omg u guys". definitely turns out to be the killer in the end.

Joshua - god, sorry, but he's the handsome, sweet, innocent boyfriend of the female lead who gets absolutely gutted by the killer in the first half of the movie. Like he is the letterman jacket-wearing jock bf of Drew Barrymore's character in the original Scream. He was truly a bystander but boy is he pretty.

Junhui/Hoshi - He's just a side character but the whole audience loves him! and then he gets kidnapped and disappears halfway thru the movie so everyone assumes he's dead but just when the killer is about to whack the main character he shows up out of nowhere and knocks them out with a fire extinguisher to save them. he's a hero, baby. he still might get got tho :/

Woozi - can we get fluffy for a sec? i know it's horror tropes but this is Thackery Binx from Hocus Pocus, ok? he was kind of a little shit and then he got turned into a cat so now he's chasing around these three idiot kids trying to help them stop the witches from eating all the kids in Salem and he's perpetually irritated at his lack of opposable thumbs bc if he had them, he could just do it all himself.

Wonwoo - he's the dark-knight detective on the case. he's scary, kinda shady, and is likely doing a ton of illegal shit to find leads and force information out of people, but he's not a bad guy. He's been on the case for over a decade and lives off black coffee and cigarettes. definitely makes it to the end and has a hand in taking the killer down.

Mingyu - ok, yes, i still think he's the token slasher-bimbo - like he's the opening kill before the title sequence BUT alternatively, he's the martyr...he's the character you end up loving and then you have to watch as he sacrifices himself so everyone else lives & we love/hate him for it. We weep for him. We write alternate ending fics for him.

Seokmin - Sigh, he's the dad who buys the super-haunted house in a paranormal horror flick. He can't afford to move because he poured his life savings into buying the house. Shit keeps getting progressively worse. His dog chased something into the woods and never came back. His kids are possessed. His wife is floating in the corner and making weird noises. but he's hot - like ryan reynolds in Amityville.

Vernon - bro, he is actually Darry from Jeepers Creepers. I literally can't explain this to you if you haven't watched this CLASSIC and those of you who have seen it...you get it. Like why tf is he ignoring Ms. Dabney????? she's trying to save him and he's like...ok weirdo...i'm gonna go check out that hole where it looks like bodies are being dumped...bye.

Seungkwan - he's not going in that fuck-ass house dude. he's not doing it. he will stand guard with whatever makeshift weapon he can find and he's talking mad shit about everyone and their stupid plan the whole time he's waiting. he is, however, a good friend, and he will run into the house the first time he hears someone scream. is soooo pissed when he finds out it was over nothing and now he's stuck with everyone else in the death trap.

Chan - he is the planner, the optimist, the strategist. he is getting everyone the hell out and he's got the brains and balls to pull it all off. like, my boi is setting traps as if he's Freddie in Scooby Doo. He is pissing the killer off left and right. definitely gets himself in a pinch - almost meets his end - and still, somehow finds a way to live.

[woodchipp]

I find this particular response I received the other day very interesting because

"what is his point of living? why SHOULD he not die?"

is a question I genuinely found myself asking by the time me and my friends finished playing the game. After thinking about it a bit more, though, I realized that the question I was really asking was not "Why should he not die?" but "Why should I care about whether he lives or dies?"

And I think the answer ties into one of OMORI's (many) problems - Sunny isn't really a character. He has no personality to speak of. At best, he's a crude checklist of #relatable traits (shy, depression, low self-esteem) you're expected to form an emotional connection with purely on the basis of him having said traits (i.e. "he's just like me fr fr") even though we're never shown or told how he became that way in the first place and these traits alone don't constitute a character's personality - they inform it. At worst, he's a meat puppet present in the game only because the player needs a viewpoint character.

Technically, the biggest amount of "characterization" Sunny gets is Omori's big LTG speech in the final boss fight. And even then, I can't call it characterization in good faith because most of the information revealed about Sunny via the speech didn't factor into the story much right until it suddenly became relevant as a weapon his self-loathing uses against him.

For example, one of Omori's points is that Sunny keeps falling back on his friends to take care of him since he's the baby of the group, which implies that Sunny is insecure about being babied around by his friends

But Sunny doesn't undergo any development to address this problem over the course of the game. The story never puts him into situations that'd force him to assume responsibility and allow him to change the perception of himself as the group's "baby". Even on the Sunny route, where he's supposedly meant to be working on his issues, he's almost entirely passive (e.g. Kel has to tell him to jump into the lake to rescue Basil even though Sunny instantly diving in himself without any input from Kel or the player would've shown him as more altruistic) and the plot gets driven forward by pretty much every other character except Sunny himself. Additionally, when put into a situation when he could at least try to comfort a close friend and thus show that he cares (i.e. Basil's breakdown on Three Days Left), the game forces you to walk away instead. What does that say about Sunny?

This brings me to another point I consider to be relevant to what I'm trying to say - Omori, Sunny's depression and irrational self-hatred who spends the entire final battle convincing him to kill himself, isn't even wrong in his criticisms of the latter. Believe it or not, the story itself actually lends credence to a couple of his points

"You've never done anything for anyone else."

Sunny's aforementioned passivity aside, most of his interactions with his friends before and during the events of the game - and mind you, they're meant to establish the group's supposedly Strong friendship - consist of his friends and his sister doing everything they can for him. Mari allows him to sleep in her own bed when he has nightmares and takes the fall for him after he breaks one of their mother's vases. Basil gets the idea to gift Sunny a violin for Christmas and the entire group pitches in to make sure the violin they buy is a good one. Basil stages Mari's death as a suicide, keeps mum about Sunny's desecration of the photo album and takes the brunt of Aubrey's abuse for four years purely for Sunny's sake. Hero takes care of all the chores around the house Sunny had to do on One Day Left.

Indeed, Sunny is never shown doing anything of the sort for them.

"Your friends are wrong about you. The person they love isn't you at all."

"You let them believe in a lie to protect yourself."

This is self-explanatory - Sunny went along with Basil's cover-up and thus lied to his friends by omission - but what interests me the most about it is the "Cherish" action, exclusive to this fight. By recalling the supportive and inspirational quotes he heard from his friends and his sister over the course of One Day Left, Sunny replenishes his HP and stamina in full, along with calming himself down emotion-wise.

There's just a problem with this, though - Sunny's friends offered him their support without the knowledge of how Mari actually died. They were convinced that Sunny is struggling with Mari's suicide, not that he's wrestling with well-earned guilt over committing manslaughter. We don't know whether they would've supported him all the same if they knew the truth, and the game doesn't provide an answer either since the group's reactions to Sunny's confession are left ambiguous.

Simply put, Sunny is twisting his friends' words, taking them out of context to make himself feel better. The support Sunny received is built on a lie.

The exact same lie Omori points out.

"Cherish" is also the only way to survive in this fight. Omori points out that the support Sunny's using is based on him lying to his friends by omission, and the only rebuttal Sunny has to Omori's solid point is to keep using said support. peak writing

And just as the cherry on top, the game's "True" ending - and the best outcome for Sunny - indicates that he dropped the bombshell on his friends shortly before moving town, consequently leaving Basil alone to deal with whatever consequences the fallout would entail... which is exactly what he did after he ruined Basil's photo album. (granted, he couldn't have known that Aubrey would see the scribbled-over photos, but still, ruining your best friend's most precious belonging like that and then essentially ghosting them is a shitty thing to do either way.)

Oh, and the method you use to obtain the additional secret cutscene is worth mentioning too - you have to water Basil's plants in Sunny's fake dream world. Sunny doesn't help Basil in the real world when he actually has the chance to and Basil clearly needs it, but seems to be content with thinking about doing something good for his dream self while the real one is suffering.

Not only is Sunny an empty husk of a character, close examination of the game's story paints a picture of him being a shitty person as well. I can't say he has a character arc - he does shitty things to the people we're meant to consider his friends and the game invents convenient ways for him to avoid taking responsibility every time despite the story revolving around his need to accept his responsibility for Mari's death.

So, really, why should I care about whether he lives or dies? Because he's a cute boy? Because he's mentally ill? The game never gives you a legitimate reason to root for Sunny and care about his welfare, yet is predicated on that.

[astra-galaxie]

🏳️‍🌈👻🎶💝💔👗🔪🍫💄😺😬🖕and 😶 for Diego, please! (This man's image has burned itself into my retinas, and I sincerely apologize)

I think Diego's image is burned into many people's retinas! Mine included!

I'm going to use some of this prompt list to focus on Diego from my series, so don't be surprised if you see some lore mentioned in it!😉

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon

I headcanon Diego is bisexual, borderline pansexual. This man is attracted to pretty people, whether men or women. Of course, he's not completely shallow; he looks for good things in a partner besides just their appearance, but he'll never deny that the beautiful ones catch his eyes more easily…

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

Diego is scared of drowning. He was once knocked overboard while sailing, and while he obviously didn’t drown, he’s terrified of experiencing that again. He knows how to swim, but he’s still scared of getting into deeper water than waist height.

🎶 A headcanon about music

Diego is a big music fan, especially if he can dance to it. He loves classical music but also enjoys some more untraditional genres too. Of course, his favourite singer will always be Argo, but he can also appreciate other performers.

💝 A headcanon about their love language

Diego is well-versed in many forms of showing love. While he often displays his affection through flirting, he uses more meaningful and personal ways to show love to his chosen partner. I’ve previously stated that painting someone is one of his biggest displays of love, but Diego also lives for physical affection, specifically cuddles. He loves snuggling with his partner, having his hair played with, or sharing a nap together.

💔 An angsty headcanon

Diego was abused as a child, but not by his parents or other relatives. The person who hurt him has no relation to him beyond being the monster who still haunts him. The scars on his body tell a story of pain and suffering, one he has rarely spoken about to others. Diego hates the permanent marks on his skin and the nightmares he still gets because of his abuser, which is why he crafted a mask of confidence to hide his pain. He doesn’t let anyone see the real him except for a select few.

👗 A headcanon about their clothes

Diego makes most of his clothes. He occasionally buys them but prefers making them by hand to tailor them to his style and fit. Many have told him he should pursue a career in fashion design, but Diego is happy with the job he has chosen.

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

While he calls himself a gentleman thief, don’t let the good looks fool you; Diego’s bite is far worse than his bark. He could tear an enemy to shreds if he wanted to and is never unarmed. His weapons might not be as inconspicuous as Argo’s daggers are, but if you happen to feel something poking you in the back, I can assure you, it's not Deigo being happy to see you. It's a blade with your name and soon to be your blood on it.

🍫 A headcanon about food

Churros are one of Diego’s favourite desserts. His mother taught him how to make them, and when he misses Madrid and his family, he’ll make some for himself. He loves having them with a side of melted chocolate, but he can’t eat too much, or he starts feeling sick. But tasting the sweet, fried treat is always worth feeling stuffed and nauseous later.

💄 An appearance headcanon

Diego has been called vain more times than he can count, but he can't help if he just wants to look his best. If this man lived in the modern timeline, he would have a multi-step skincare routine! Even so, Diego takes the time to maintain good hygiene, including his body, teeth, and hair. If you ever need advice on what products to use, Diego's your man!

😺 An animal related headcanon

His favourite animal is the wolf, and not just because that's what his surname means. Wolves are intelligent, loyal, caring, and protective, all characteristics he strives to have. He has images of wolves designed on many of his belongings, like his pocket watch and cane. Wolves have become his calling card of sorts, and anyone who comes to know him well in his personal or business life associates the animal with him.

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

Stealing Canto del Mare’s prized possession, a giant pearl shaped like a conch shell. Its interior is lined with pure aquamarine, and while no one can explain how it was formed, the islanders treasure the shell deeply. To them, it is priceless, and no matter how much money someone could offer them, they would never part with it. The shell was safe on Canto del Mare until it was stolen by the outsider they welcomed to their island: Diego.

The night Diego stole the shell was one of the worst nights of his life. He hated himself for betraying Argo and the islanders’ trust. They had taken him in when he had nothing and never asked for anything in return. But in the end, he took the most important thing in their lives to save the one he loved. While he knows he made the best choice he could given the situation, Diego has hated himself for it every day since.

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

If you piss him off, Diego isn't afraid to get loud and furious. He can curse you out in Spanish and English with words that would make even a sailor blush. He's not scared to stand up for himself or those he cares about, but he tries not to let his anger get the best of him.

😶 A random headcanon!

He has a younger cousin who is more like a little sister to him. They grew up together, and she loved following him around and trying to mimic him. She always wanted to play with him and just be around him in general. Diego used to find it annoying at times but looking back, he’s glad he got to spend so much time with her as he hasn’t seen her since he left Spain.

I love having an excuse to ramble about one of my favourite CC characters! Thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoyed the headcanons!

[serickswrites]

Come With Me V

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Warnings: mayhem, destruction, emotional manipulation, poisoning, self sacrifice, mcd, hurt/no comfort

Villain was silent apart from the coughing spells that became more and more frequent as Hero sped through City. Several times Hero found themself opening their mouth to say something, but closing it as they thought the better of it. Where do they even begin?

Hero was saved from having to say anything as they pulled into the secret driveway that led to Base. "Let me lead, Villain. You're in no shape to fight."

Villain opened their mouth to protest, but a cough cut them off. "That's my point. You just focus on finding the antidote and I'll focus on disabling Superhero."

Villain nodded. They handed Hero a communicator. "Call me if you need my help."

Hero pocketed the communicator knowing full well they wouldn't call Villain. Villain was poisoned because of them. "Villain, listen, I--"

Villain smiled as they started off toward the research center. "Save it. If....If you want to talk after everything is over, I'll be all ears. But none of this," they waffled their hand around, "words said out of desperation. We can talk after."

Hero nodded and sprinted off to where they suspected Superhero would be waiting. "Took you long enough," Superhero growled as they loosed a fire ball at Hero's head as Hero rounded the corner to Superhero's office.

Hero had just enough time to jump back. "What the fuck?"

Superhero frowned. "Oops. I missed."

"What is wrong with you?" Hero crouched behind the wall, knowing it would give them ample cover to hide.

"You took too long to get back. Once I saw you were clear of the building, I knew that could only mean one thing." Superhero's voice was as cold as ever.

"And you didn't think that maybe Villain had kidnapped me? That I was being tortured for information Villain could use against you?" Hero couldn't believe that Superhero, their mentor, their leader, could be so cold and callous. They hadn't wanted to believe Villain. Hadn't wanted to, but deep down they knew Villain was right. And hearing Superhero talk now confirmed it.

Superhero laughed as they blasted the wall out from over Hero's head. "Villain would never hurt you. They may not be a lot of things, but they are sentimental." Superhero launched another fireball.

Hero ducked and rolled out into the hall, sending bolts of electricity at Superhero. Superhero blocked Hero's attack with a wall of fire. "They are so predictable."

Hero was up and running before Superhero could take another shot at them. This was not good. Superhero was just too powerful. They just had to keep Superhero distracted long enough so that Villain could get the antidote and getaway. Villain would keep fighting against Superhero. Hero could buy them enough time as their atonement for not believing Villain. For not trusting Villain.

"And you're not?" They placed their palms on the ground and sent a powerful current into the floor.

Superhero leapt into the air, avoiding electrocution with ease. "I can be predictable. I have more power." Superhero sent flames towards Hero, blocking their exit. "And this is the end of the line, Hero." They raised a fist of fire.

Hero closed their eyes. They said a silent apology to Villain that this was the only time they could buy for Villain. It would have to be enough. Hero was strangely at peace with being destroyed.

"For you, maybe," Villain's voice, though weak, rang down the hallway.

Hero wrenched their eyes open to see Superhero turn with flame coated fist towards Villain. Villain aimed a weapon Hero had never seen before at Superhero. Villain's arms shook with the effort to hold and aim the weapon.

"Pathetic. You can't even raise it all the way. You are weak. You are filth. You are nothing."

Villain smirked. "That may be true. But at least I'm not evil."

"You are powerless. You cannot stop me. You don't even know what that does, do you?" Superhero sneered as they stepped towards Villain, flames twining down their other arm.

"Do you?" Villain's eyes flashed as they caught Hero's gaze. "Duck!" They roared as they fired the weapon at Superhero.

Hero couldn't exactly explain what happened as they ducked. One moment Superhero was there, flames spiraling towards Villain, the next a wave of energy passed over them and they were gone.

"Oh thank goodness," Villain said as they sank to their knees. "You ok, 'ero?" Villain asked as they began to cough again.

"Did you just..."

"Convert the form of energy that the matter making up Superhero to another form using an energy based weapon? Yep." Villain coughed harder, specks of blood flecking their lips and the back of their hand.

"Whoa, hey, hey! Villain, what about the antidote?" Hero hurried down the corridor to where Villain knelt. Hero couldn't breathe around the lump in their throat. This was not happening.

Villain lifted their head weakly, their face paler and sweatier than ever before. "DDDDDoesn't-t-t-t-t ex-ex-exist." They tilted forward, but Hero caught them, keeping them from falling.

Hero began to cry. "Tell me what to do. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. What do you need?" Hero could feel Villain struggle to take a breath. Could feel the heat emanating from them. Could feel Villain dying in their arms.

Villain blinked up at Hero. "There'ssss nothing. It's...It's.....It's 'k, 'ro." Villain took a choking breath. Their breath rattled deep in their chest.

"No," Hero sobbed, "no, you can't die. Not after....not after everything. I need you, Villain. I.....I....I love you."

Villain pressed a shaking hand to Hero's cheek. They sucked in as much air as they could. "I love you, Hero. I.....I....I nnnneverrrr st-st-stoppeddddd." Villain closed their eyes tightly against pain as they coughed. They coughed and coughed, their body shaking with each movement. "It'sssss 'k, 'ero. 'm 'k w-w-w-ith th-th-thissssss. Y'r 'k." Villain's touch on Hero's face began to slip away as Villain closed their eyes.

Hero put their hand on Villain's, keeping Villain's hand on their cheek. This wasn't happening. This was all their fault. They should have gone with Villain all those years ago. Why hadn't Villain give up on them? Hero had given up on Villain. Why hadn't Villain given up on them? "Was it," Hero sniffed, "was it all worth it? All the pain, all the hate. Was it worth it?"

Villain's eyes fluttered opening. Their eyes blazed with the passion Hero knew filled their being. "It.....w-w-was if....if....if.....I wassssss rightttttt. I," they took a wheezing breath, their eyes clouding with pain, "tooooook a ga-ga-gamble on....on...on the sl-sl-slimmmmmm chancccceee I...I....I was right." Their eyes fluttered closed as they took another shallow wheezing breath.

Hero tapped Villain's cheek, unwilling to let Villain leave. They couldn't leave. They needed Villain. "But was it worth it? Worth being the villain in everyone's story?"

Villain opened their eyes slowly, eyes clear once more. "I....was....nnnnever the v-v-v-illain in yyyyyourrrr st-st-story, H-H-Hero." Their breath rattled in their chest as they gasped. "'nd I w-w-wassss right."

Hero let out a howl of pain as they watched the light in Villain's eyes die. Let out a heartrending sob as the wheezing, rattling breaths stopped. Let out the sound of their heartbreak as the only person who they ever truly loved and was loved by died in their arms. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Hero sobbed into Villain's hair. "Please, please, come back. Come back. Please. Please. Villain. God. Please, come back. I need you. I'm sorry. So sorry."

Tags: @fern-writes-whump@pic-star01@katsuorr@wankusbonkus@elisabethrosewrites@st0rmm@hopefullywritingahit@booklovingsnickerdoodle@suic1dal-chan @skiny406 @cherry-holic @annoyinghairdoranchhumanoid-blog @sausages-things @skye1633

[calextheneko]

Mario RPG Post Game Bosses Quick and Dirty Guide

Okay, so I can't promise the tactics I'm going to suggest here are the best effective tactics in the game for defeating each of the bosses in the post game. But I will say they let me roll through all of them pretty fast. Also bosses are pretty much in the order I encountered them. If at any point you're unsure if what boss you should be fighting you can go talk to Frog Sage at tadpole pond to be hinted at where to go.

Before Any Fights

Make sure you've fought and defeated Jinx three times and beaten Culex in Montro town and got the Jinx Belt and Quartz Charm accessories.

Level up as much as possible. You can buy the EXP Booster from the frog coin merchant in Seaside Town which doubles the XP of the person who has it equipped even if they're not in battle. The Lucky Egg bought from the Treasure Hunter in the Moeville Item Shop can be used to double your XP earned a lot for the party if you're good at the shuffle game.

Buy the Earlier Times item from the Frog Coin Merchant in Seaside Time. When RNG just goes bad or you mess up this will let you restart the fight right away rather than having to slowly die and resume from the last save point.

Make sure you have a Feather. If you didn't get won from beating Dodo in the statue mini game you can buy one, or if you want a second buy a second one from the Treasure Hunter in the Moeville Item Shop.

Make sure yo have the Lazy Shell (Weapon and armor) and Safety Ring.

Get as many Kercolas, Red Essences and Rock Candies that you can.

Practice timed hits and perfect blocks because both are required for multiple boss fights and will be the difference between life and death.

Consider getting the Star Egg from Grate Guy's Casino if you can stand the torture that is winning 100 Games of Look the Other Way. It deals a flat 100 damage to all enemies so isn't the best damage but it's reliable and reusable so comes in handy when you need something to damage everyone.

Now to the bosses.

Belome

Fought in Belome temple. Don't be an idiot like me and immediately run through all of Kero Sewer and then have to do Midas River because he's not there. Frog Sage told me he was up to his old tricks. So old tricks made me think the sewers. It was the temple. Travel to Monstro Town and enter the temple from there to get to him instantly.

Belome is frustrating but easy. But you can get rid of most of the frustrating part. Take any party members you want but I recommend including Peach for healing like I will for every fight. You don't need any special preparations to beat him but immunizing your entire party to sleep will save you a lot of grief. I did not, I only had Peach immune to sleep. She had the Safety Ring. Belome spams Sleep attacks so Mario and Geno went to sleep A LOT.

Belome's main gimmick this time is that he can't be injured by any attack as long as he has a clone out. He'll basically bounce back and forth between creating a clone, attacking and attempting to put the party to sleep. If you're prepared (unlike me) and immune to sleep 90% of this fight is solved. Just need two characters who hit hard to rip through the clone as soon as it comes out and beat down Belome. He doesn't really have anything dangerous and aside from not taking damage and so much sleep spam is really not that different from previous fights.

Jinx

Since I was already in Monstro Town decided to go visit Jinx yet since based on the wishes I read on the Pink Stars (You'll see them when you start the post game and follow the story leading to the boss rematches) that he was one of them.

Preparation

Jinx is going to spam mortal blows on your party. Accessories like the Safety Ring and the Quartz Charm are absolutely mandatory unless you have flawless mastery of timed hits to the point you never miss, even so good to have them for safety on the occasion you mess up and they're both really good accessories. Party members, someone, anyone that you're really good with their timed hits and Peach for healing.

Jinx is a bit different in that you're not looking to deplete his HP. All you have to do is use a Team Attack and you instantly win. But before you try to be a smarty pants and go in with a 100% gauge prepped he will set your gauge to 0 when the fight starts. It doesn't matter if the team attack actually deals damage, Jinx wants to duel you to see how to get in synergy with your partners to do a team attack and so you will instantly win as soon as you use any attack. Recommend Lazy Shell and Safety Pin go specifically on Peach.

Jinx hits fast and hard as usual. Anytime you miss a timed hit rather it be attacking or healing Jinx will counter with an instant death attack. This is why you want protection from Mortal Blows. Basically, this entire fight is just a practice of your timed hits and defenses. His attacks can deal massive damage and sometimes one shot characters but all of them can be negated to 0 damage with a properly timed block. There's really no trick to it beyond that. Just used timed hits and blocks to build up your gauge and fire it of as soon as its full. Make sure all party members are up and able to perform the attack. Summoning Toad is not what he needs, you need all three party members. Peach with the Lazy Shell and Safety pin will survive anything he throws at her, so just use her to heal up and revive anyone that goes down while you build up that gauge. Don't lose your cool and keep that timing up and victory will be yours.

Punchinello

Preparation: Not a whole lot you can prepare to do on this fight. Like Jinx this fight is going to revolve entirely around getting your Timed Hits right. And you'll mostly be dealing with attacks that can kill you instantly if you fail to block. But they're not guaranteed 9999 damage like some later bosses they're just really strong attacks, might be survivable with something like Lazy Shell + Ghost Medal. Speed is probably the most important factor here though so the Lazy Shell armor can be a liability. Since Speed is important Geno is naturally one of the best fits for the party. And again I make Peach the third for reviving and healing others.

The Fight Itself

So like I said this game revolves around timed hits. You can't damage Punchinello directly. You can only attack the bombs he throws out. If you do a perfectly timed hit, the bomb will change the direction its facing and face him. Then when the bomb goes off it will explode on Punchinello and damage him instead of you. Be careful to watch the bombs before you attack them some of them will already be pointing at him leave those untouched. This is why speed is important. You only have four party members and he'll drop four bombs. And of course only perfectly timed time attacks will turn them around so if you screw it well hope you can go again before that bomb goes off. The bombs can be killed if enough damage is done but this is kind of a last resort sort of thing and you're more likely to kill one on accident from it taking damage when you damage all enemies with your perfect hits. Mastering the timing for a perfect block against the bombs is mandatory to survival. If you have a hard time feel free to use Earlier Times if you have it to restart the fight until you get it down. Basically hit A right before the bomb hits you. But if a bomb hits you and takes you down you either have to swap that party member out or waste a turn reviving them and lose up to two attacks possibly resulting in more bombs going off on you. Because your timing has to be perfect you they won't spin around loses happen sometimes. Just, best of luck with the perfect blocks and perfect timed hits.

Boster

Preparation

I hate this fight, with all of my hate. This is the first fight to kill me in the entire game. You must bring Geno for this fight, and equip him with a Feather to boost his speed. This fight is just... not a good fight, and is absolutely terrible design in an otherwise wonderful game because there is a very specific solution to the fight and it's just, screw you if you don't know it. Super fast Geno is that solution. Bring Peach for healing, and give Mario the Quartz Charm for damage.

The Fight

So at the start of every round Booster will start building his train. If it gets to his turn he will finish building the train and crash it into your party for 9999 damage. Coincidentally, every turn one of his Sniffets will cast Morale Boost that increases his speed every single turn. See why I hate this fight? The trick is Booster must be attacked before his turn each round to interrupt his building. Which is why you need Geno because the fight will quickly get to the point where no one can out speed him but a speed boosted Geno. Make sure he gets interrupted each round. Then I murdered the Sniffets next, in hind sight it might have been easier to go straight for Booster. Either way just deal as much damage as fast as you can. Rock Candies are useful to deal significant damage to everyone, Geno Flash, Psych Bomb (but only if Peach doesn't have the lazy shell) and of course if you're good at it Super Jump is always amazing. If you're not, kick a lazy shell into them. Just kill the Sniffets or Booster as fast as possible and be aware you might have to restart. If your backline party tags in I recommend immediately restarting the battle with an Earlier Times (You can buy it with Frog Coins in Seaside Town) because Mallow and Bowser will not be fast enough to really do anything unless Booster is low on health and they can finish him off right there. I don't know his HP but you can always have Mallow use Thought Peak once to see his HP if you go for killing Booster first to track the damage on him and know how close you are to killing him. Also, can charge a team attack before coming to the fight and swap Peach out for a turn to Mallow or Bowser to do a damage dealing team attack. I do not reccomend swapping out Geno because you want him there to interrupt Booster from building when the next attack starts. Roselina freaking Luma this fight is easily the hardest in the game for me and just so obnoxious. Best of luck.

Now then whose next... I honestly forget so I had to go google the post game fights. And it turns out it's the freaking cake again in Marrymore. Make your Portal references now.

Bundt Cake

Preparations: Not a ton of prep work here, Quartz Charm and Black Belt are recommended. Peach will put this fight into easy mode so should be included for something other than her healing. Other than her big your favorite damage dealer. Probably put Safety Ring on Peach as usual. She won't be focusing on damage.

The Fight

So the goal is to put out the candles just like last time. The catch this time, the chefs are there and will keep lighting the candles and if they light all the candles bad things happen. Which I never found out what would happen because I never let them get that far. So, you need Peach or as many sleep bombs as you can carry. Peach is better, because you're going to cast Sleepy Time to put both chefs to sleep. I believe if you spin the stick enough to max it out it's 100% chance of putting both of them to sleep but I'm not 100% sure. All I know is I never saw it fail when maxed out in the fight. I also never failed to max it out.

After you put the chefs to sleep, it's just a matter of dealing damage to the cake and healing up as needed. Chefs will wake up every now and then and need to be put back to sleep but as long as you keep them under control this fight is easier than the original fight with the cake. No wonder I forgot this one. I don't know when I actually did it. Just make sure to play it safe and keep yourself healed up and those chefs asleep and you'll be good.

Johnny Jonathan Jones

Preparation

This is going to be a one on one fight between Mario and Jones. Prepare accordingly and equip Mario with your best accessory. Quartz Charm is my preference. Can also do Lazy Shell Armor and Safety Ring if you want to try to turtle your way through the fight. Just a quick warning, there's no way to heal in the fight at all. You can't use items, and only Mario can fight. I guess Jones is a Melee player. Anyway before the fight you'll be asked to choose which party members you want cheering you on. You won't get anyone to fight but you will get buffs from the party. Best way to beat Jones is to take him down as fast as possible so I took Geno and Bowser for damage up and I guess defense up but mostly damage go up.

The Fight

This fight was the second one to kill me. It can be rough. It's going to test your ability to do perfect blocks. Jones will attack with both spells and physical attacks so you need to be ready to block them... And that's really all there is to this fight. Be able to block his attacks and strike back till he's dead. He doesn't have a lot of HP thankfully since the fight is 1 v 1. If you're a master of Super Jump you can probably kill him in one turn. I don't know I'm not good at Super Jump. Though I finally found out it was because unlike what Toad told me it's not hit the button right before the attack lands but actually when it lands. So with that new knowledge I will have to go back and try super jumping things again and get to 100. Right back to Johnny. So, again it might take you a few tries but you just keep practicing his fight until you can block all his attacks with the correct timing and then take him out. There's not really any shortcut or trick to this fight (Besides Super Jump) just gotta learn the timing.

Culex

Preparation: Here's the one we've all been waiting for. Let's get down to it. Culex is the main course and all the other bosses were just an appetizer before him. So first off, Lazy Shell and Safety Ring on Peach. Second, Geno with Quartz Charm and Mario with Black Belt or Safety Badge. Might want to also consider Zoom Shoes or Feather on Geno and give the Quartz Charm to Mario instead depending on how you want to play it. Finally, go into the fight with your Team Gauge already charged to 100%. We're going to be using Mario, Geno and Peach's Team Attack A LOT this fight. Savs-Us-All blocks the next attack each party member takes and will work on anything.

The Fight

Culex is as expected a beast. And the third and final character I have met my end by. Oh wait, no I didn't because every time I was in danger of dying I used Earlier Times. HA! Take that Culex! You technically never sent me to the game over screen, and I technically beat you on my first try. Anyway, his newest jerk move is to use an HP that deals your max HP -1 in damage. This is important. His new spell Meteor is not HP to 1, it is your max HP -1. If you have even a single point of damage on you the spell will kill you. Now, after he opens the fight with that he'll use it every five turns and give you a counter, and responding to that is going to be a large part of our strategy for how to beat him. Finally, make sure you are maxed out in your inventory on Red Essences, Rock Candies, Kercolas, and Pick-Me-Ups.

First off, surviving the first round is the most important and hardest part of the fight. Once you make it past the first round the fight becomes a lot easier. The largest problem is that depending on your set up there is a high chance that Culex will open the fight dropping your party's HP to 1 and then the Wind Crystal will go off and use an AoE killing your entire party. It's that kind of fight. So, you have two choices here, can keep using the Earlier Times item to restart the battle till you have at least two characters alive or can give Geno the Feather pre-fight so he can move faster and have him use a Kercola. Regardless of which method you use Geno will go first and use a Kercola to get the two or if if you're really lucky your entire party up to max health. Peach on her turn if anyone is dead use Come Back unless the living characters are in need of healing because they will get KOed if you don't keep yourself healed up. Basically priority is as follows

Negate or Survive Culex's Meteor Attack > Heal HP > Revive Down Allies > Deal Damage.

Now, on negating Culex's attack. There are a couple ways to do it. Peach should be going last each round while Culex goes first meaning she'll always go off before him. When the first Cooldown hits 1, have Peach use the Team Attack Save-Us-All on her turn and you'll just straight up negate Meteor when Culex uses it on 0. Other options is once you have someone guaranteed to go after Culex is to use Kercolas, but remember you only have three. Another is to throw a Red Essence on Peach and then have her heal everyone and the two others use Max Mushrooms as needed. Try to save Pick Me Ups for reviving Peach if she dies and use Comeback to revive your other allies, but if you need to get everyone up fast use it. Anytime you have your team gauge fully charged use Save-Us-All with Peach right before Culex casts Meteor. Obviously it won't be charged every turn and that's why you'll need to make do with Kercolas and Red Essences. Save the Red Essences for Peach you don't have enough of them to use on your entire party and last till the end of the fight.

Now... As for actually defeating the enemies. I recommend starting with the Wind Crystal it's weak to special attacks, all special attacks so Geno Flash or even just Geno Beam will make quick work of it. If you're good at Super Jump you can probably take out the Wind Crystal right away.

From there I took out the Water Crystal but I think it may have been a better choice to go after the Earth Crystal. One of them can summon Bowyer's button locks and seal one of your commands. I think it's the Earth Crystal that does it but not 100% sure. Fire Crystal felt like the least threatening of them so saved it for last.

While this is going on always be aware of when Meteor is coming and prepare accordingly. Remember that if Meteor goes off any character with damage on them will die unless Save-Us-All is active. Mario and Geno should focus on damage and killing as much as possible. In the rare event the party doesn't need healing on Peach's turn she should use a Rock Candy to damage everyone, or if you run out of those the Star Egg. You can also use the Fire and Ice bombs just be aware the naturally a the fire crystal resists fire and the water crystal resists water.

Once all the Crystals are down the fight becomes much easier to deal with. Culex will replace Meteor with Final Claw, an attack that deals 9999 damage, but it only targets one person, and it can be blocked with a perfect block. Timing is a bit tricky but it can be done. But either way losing one person is a lot better than the entire team and you have a countdown till he uses it just like Meteor so whenever Team Attack is charged can just use Save-Us-All and bam no Final Claw. So like the previous fight when Team Attack is charged always pop it with Peach when Culex's counter is on 1 to just negate his ultimate instant kill attack. At this point it's just a matter of keeping yourself healed and beating Culex down. Keep persisting and use that Team Attack anytime its charged to negate Final Claw and victory is finally yours.

And with that, you get a completely useless key item per Final Fantasy Superboss tradition that just says you beat the hardest boss. Huzzah! Hope that helps. Not a perfect guide by any means but this is what worked for me.