#I can't draw with my full time job
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lady2nope · 1 year ago
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Please don't let me cook again. Reze copium.
(part 1/2)
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deoidesign · 2 months ago
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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laugtherhyena · 7 months ago
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Control over time
#ramble in tags! this is my current idea for what Mao is doing in the current arc#because unlike Fumiko Mao actually cares about Denji and Nayuta outside of just being people she should be around because of her job/#agreement with Public safety. so she wouldn't abandon Nayuta in the middle of that mob like Fumiko did#anyways backtracking a bit. So when Fumiko arrived at Denji's apartment as it's being burnt down by Barem and the weapon hybrids#she brings Mao (devil form) along with her instead of the random PS backup dudes#(she went after her in the time she split from Denji and Nayuta. as before that Mao was dealing with the followers at the csm church#alongside Katana and Nail. she tried to see if she could revert the transformed humans back to normal but it's sorta like fiend logic#so she couldn't do much other than cure their injuries since they're pretty much just devils by that point)#back to present time. Fumiko sends Mako to attack Barem#she injuries and throws him to the ground but then Whip appears and makes a huge dent in a side of her head before cutting Mao in half#hence why the blood and ripped clothes she has in this drawing#so Mao is down. temporary as she isn't fully dead but can't to much other than keep moving the clock pointers around and regenerating#Barem tries to choke Nayura and Fumiko shoots him in the head. then the fight between Denji and the weapons + the subsequent mess#with the random citizens attacks him happens pretty much the same#Fumiko leaves Nayura on her own and when she looks to the side she sees Nao crawling in her direction#she asks her to give her some time and she'll be able to fight again. so Nayuta starts killing people and by the time Barem gets the mob#to go kill her Mao is back at full strength and fights back to defend her. subsequently the two of them escape#so Mao is helping Nayuta on whatever she's currently doing. if she's alive that is#if it does turn out that Nayura is dead dead then i may leave Mao with the devil hybrids for the time being. they have a weird relationship#csm#csm oc#chainsaw man#csm part 2#hyena scribbles#Mao Masashige#Nayuta csm
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wildflowercryptid · 10 months ago
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trying to job hunt makes me want to rip out my hair. they expect you to jump through 15 different hoops just to apply to something w/ dogshit pay & hours only to never even send you a rejection email.
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wormwonder · 5 months ago
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playing with circles O●°○•°o.
#trypophobia#i want to draw again so bad#i feel like my brain is too full of gunk and the only way to clean it is by drawing and i just don't have the time#i did this at work when it was slow#i'm in the process of moving right now. it'll be my first time living alone#i'm finally getting my adhd medicated after getting diagnosed in january#my life is so different year to year it honestly is dizzying#at this time last year my current roommate and i were looking for an apartment#at this time two years ago i had been at my second job ever for three months and i didn't have a car#and my mom had to drive with me to and from work because the van had been totaled and we only had the one car for the four of us#at this time three years ago i had just graduated and was a month into my first ever job. didn't even know how to drive#i thought i was so behind in life and that i was gonna be stuck like that eternally#now... god i don't even know. i'm trying to be positive#this is gonna be my solo chapter. my zuko alone episode. my walden pond.#but really i'm just so scared all the time and i have no choice but to keep treading water forever#i feel like all through childhood everything stays the same. nothing prepared me for living through constant change#entering my mid twenties i'm learning that. yeah you can't predict everything you can't prepare for everything#you can't keep anything and you can't change anything#but you can hold it in your hands. you can choose to live it. you can choose to be there#i hope once i get settled at my new place i'll suddenly find time to do everything#i hope the meds help me with that. i just want to draw again. i just want to feel alive again
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autistic-shaiapouf · 1 year ago
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Wondering if I feel weird about jobs bc I have almost exclusively worked high stress high turnover jobs
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tabaha · 1 year ago
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TIRED
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theladygazingatemptiness · 2 months ago
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#wak#negative /#tag vent /#man.. why is everything so draining#like.. fr it seems like I can't do Anything for an extended amount of time without burning out and wanting to quit#like. when I was little it was my absolute dream to be able to do nothing but draw all day every day but#now as an adult the thought of it stresses me out and makes me sick to my stomach#I used to get so excited about getting commissions but#now every time I see that someone's commissioned me I just dread doing it as if it's something I'm getting graded for in two days#(note that this isn't a slight against people who've commed me by any means. if you've commed me you're a saint)#(but. that's just how I feel and I wish it wasn't)#which is why comms are closed rn and idk when I'm opening them back up#rn I'm doing commission-based editing/proofreading work for a small publishing comp#something that I Also once aspired to do full-time#but.. I'm already kinda getting tired of it? probably bc my current project is 140+ pages that I have to get done in two weeks#like.. it's not Bad and I'm not quitting (I don't have a choice anyway. this is the closest thing I have rn to a consistent-ish job)#but it.. just gets less fun w every manuscript and I hate that#and like... whenever I go out no matter where I am I just want to go back home#I have no 'dream job' anymore. I have no goals. I don't want to go places or do things I just want to be home sleeping#but. as we all know that's not an option in the capitalist hellscape we live in#hell... even if we Didn't live in the hellscape it probably still wouldn't be an option lol#and of course my mom will not hear any of it and just thinks I'm being spoiled and lazy and 'using my aut as an excuse'#and most people including supposed '''''leftists'''' would probably agree with her too#bc 95% of '''"radical communists''''' on here are Adults Aren't Allowed To Exist Outside Of Working And That's How Things Should Be truther#who vocally treat unemployment as a moral failing and as a Bad Person Trait™ inbetween making Capitalism Bad posts#but I'm getting offtopic. Maybe I Am Useless And Lazy And A Leech Or Etc#but what I'm trying to say is I feel like I'm going to be miserable and feel like just a machine no matter what I do#and like I'm never going to have a happy or fulfilling life#and that my only option is to go to sleep never wake up and hope I'm reborn with no mental illnesses or trauma and into a rich family#but.. fat chance.
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fxckinemo · 2 months ago
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considering telling my drawing teacher that he's the reason i can't draw for fun anymore
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lost-in-yahargul · 5 months ago
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Landlord decided to raise rent by 40k forints I am so dead
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hesperidia · 7 months ago
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they massacred my boy.. (saw Mika's new casual fit)
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bluesnails · 7 months ago
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There are several people I follow on here that I know Id want to be friends in person T-T like please I want some friends with specific interests. Please I want friends who love bugs and are into science, or are into ask a mortician or like want to get into food adventures.
I want a friend who will go down a weird rabbit hole about the American chestnut tree with me!
Well my partner does to some extent but we have different kinds of interests! I want to go to a butterfly garden and he wants to go to a book store! Similar vein different things.
One day! One day I'll venture out of my home in a consistent enough pattern to meet people!
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luvsavos · 11 months ago
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life kicks me in the ribs yet again: more than likely i won't be able to get all the money i need in time for the alatreon model, so. got excited for nothing :)
#mar.txt#vent? i guess?#again:girlhelp:#i need $120.25 still and of course i didnt get a job in time because why would things go my way and even if i do a bunch around the house#the money is due the day before my dad gets paid so that won't work#im panicking sort of to the point of being kind of nauseous from it haha#turning to art comms from my friends out of desperation but i don't think i'll get enough to cover the last bit of cost#not to mention the issue of my phone absolutely fucking sucks ass so i can't do digital art until i get a new one so any comms i DO have/get#will have to wait until i get a new phone for me to finish them and i know that's kind of A Problem which is why i'm only asking close#friends who i know won't be bothered by the idea of paying upfront then having to wait a little while for the finished product#though at least i can get the paper basic sketch done,since i draw the basic thing on paper then do more detail and whatnot digitally#idk if any of my moots wouldn't be bothered by that. i can promise i will get the full things done once i get a new phone. i'm just really#fucking desperate rn lmao god i fucking hate everything#i need to just. stop letting myself feel the emotion of excitement over Anything in the future. because when i do it always,ALWAYS goes#wrong. youd think id learn by now but no apparently im just too fucking stupid to#anyways. ill draw humanoids and i can try my absolute damndest at mh monsters even though i kind of struggle with anything but malzeno#practice makes perfect right? hahahahahaaa. fuck me.#not to be concerning on main but if this were me a few years ago i think at this point i'd be genuinely considering offing myself because i#am SO fucking tired of literally everything possible going wrong and even the things that are SUPPOSED to bring me some comfort or happiness#among the ocean of everything else ALSO going wrong#obviously the more money that could be tossed my way the better but hell i'll even do just paper sketch comms for a lower price i am#genuinely desperate because i really REALLY just want this ONE fucking thing to go right for me. god. just One thing.#alternatively if anyone wants to just. Give Me money. idk id feel bad about getting money without giving something in return but if anyone#WANTS to do that theyre free to as well. idk just dm me for my paypal if that or a shitty probably time-delayed comm sounds like smthn youd#be interested in??? even tho who am i kidding lmfao nobody will,that would be too good and i'm obviously just not fucking allowed to have#good things huh#ugh. sorry for the vent post Again. i swear we'll return to the usually scheduled funnyman stuff and ocposting. eventually. :/
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mod2amaryllis · 3 months ago
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im just gonna be petty ignore me
are you ever training someone and eventually it gets to a point where you just like
give up on them lol
#she's well past probation and has received the most targeted organized training effort I've ever seen in my 9 years at this clinic#like my training was the equivalent of Uncle stew throwing you in the deep end for swim class#now we've got fucking hand outs. we have a training calendar. we have one designated trainer. we have meetings. we're all nice. all mapped.#everyone has made such an effort for this person#but she has the most trouble focusing of anyone I've ever worked with#and yes she has adhd and is upfront about it. but in this work adhd doesn't mean you get to wander off from active medical procedures.#either you find a solution that works or you accept your limitations and find a better environment#i can't go into the five months trying to work with her but it's been a very frustrating very defensive very unsuccessful process#the event that triggered this rant was: she was getting trained on sedated shave downs. a pretty entry level procedure.#even though the sedation is quite safe it IS still sedation. you have to monitor and have full focus. I've had patients crash under sedatio#so she's getting trained by our lead who's demonstrating the shave on one side then she's let trainee do the other#during the demonstration the trainee is constantly in her notebook. lead assumes she's taking notes and asks about it#turns out she's DRAWING. DRAWING DOGS. PRACTICING DOG ANATOMY FOR HER DRAWINGS. she said as much. that it was for-#-drawing purposes. not learning or monitoring purposes.#she then said she was using it as a focusing tool because in the five minutes they'd been there she'd wanted to walk away three times#from boredom and distraction#lead immediately (and very gently as we were all in the same treatment area and witnessed this from afar) starts breaking that down#it's unacceptable to be drawing when you're supposed to be monitoring. i get what you're trying to do. i get it. im also a focused doodler.#but this animal is literally at your mercy right now. whether or not they wake up is ON YOU and unless you're drawing their fucking-#-vital signs i don't wanna see your nose in a book. like come the fuck on. come on.#she argued but the lead eventually said listen if you are constantly fighting the urge to wander away from an anesthetized patient-#-then i will never allow you to do surgeries. full stop.#this turned into a very defensive conversation after which she shut down because she insisted that's how she learns. which. again. i get.#but this isn't school. and you can't walk the walk. and we've tried to accommodate and train in a variety of ways for 5 months.#the level of reliability she's at is so so low for how much training and experience she's received#any criticism is interpreted as bullying no matter how gentle#and if it's too gentle it doesn't fucking work. we've all reached points where we resort to nagging just to make sure she's doing her job#and i understand why she's frustrated and feels singled out but again#if you are putting an anesthetized patient at risk i am not going to be nice about it. distraction during surgery can get patients killed.#there's always a level of confliction over getting so frustrated with people like this because i've been there but seriously..
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AITAH for telling my wife no?
My wife (35f) and I (38m) have been married for 12 years, dated for 3 before that. We have 3 kids (10m, 7f, and 5f). We both work full time in separate fields, she does some chemistry thing that I don't understand and I am a manager at a computer repair store my friend runs, and also a short story writer when its slow. She is definitely the breadwinner bill payer between the two of us, but I bring in the fun money for our family and would be completely listless if I didn't at least work part time. We also fully own our home because of her job.
Also, my parents watch the kids for us during the week when we are working. It's been this way since our son was born, and they've been doing it less since they are all in school. But it's free childcare, they refuse to accept money unless it's reimbursing for buying food.
Ok, now that all of that backstory is set, here's where the problem begins.
A couple of months ago my wife started pepper into conversations about a possible promotion coming up that would get her out of the lab and into a more "manage the lab team" position, with less dangerous hours for more pay. Ever since the first time she mentioned it I've been hyping her up and telling her she's a shoo in for the promotion, especially since she's been working there since her masters internship and now she has a PhD.
Last night she told me she was getting word today if she got it! After she left for work this morning I called my boss up and told him I couldn't come in today, and then told my parents the kids were saying with me. We spent the day cleaning the house, drawing congratulations cards, and making a congratulations banner. We also made a couple cards that say sorry and we love you for if she didn't get it. I was working on making her favorite dinner (lobster rolls with lobster bisque, because she's a fancy lady) when she got home earlier than normal. Everyone was surprised, because noone is usually home at this time and yet here everyone was. She got tears in her eyes seeing everything we were still working on, got down and hugged our two youngest, and said she got the promotion! Cheering all around! And that's when she dropped the bomb, saying we need to get a realtor in a state three away from us so we can relocate within the next two months.
I was stunned, and just said no, we arent moving for this promotion. In all of her talks she never mentioned that the promotion wasn't for the same location she's been at. All of our family is here, her parents and mine, all of our friends are here, my job is here. She insisted that she's mentioned relocating before but I swear she never did. That set of a completely new argument about never listening to her and only hearing what I want to hear, and how this will make it so I can stay home with the kids and not even need a fun money job. During this I noticed she was typing on her phone, and when I asked why she was multitasking an argument she said she was texting my parents to get the kids so they don't have to see this.
When my parents got here they congratulated her on the promotion and asked how long until we move.
She told my parents the promotion included relocation.
I'm typing this on the couch in the basement, because I can't face her right now. My parents knowing means she probably did say we would need to move if she got it. I don't want to move, I like my job, and our house. I like being near my parents. I know this would practically set us for life but I don't want to. I know I'm being selfish, and I know I must not be listening when she talks, but I still don't think she should accept the promotion. I still think no.
What are these acronyms?
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chrissv4mp · 16 days ago
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𐙚 NEED YOU
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Her hands slowly run up and down your sides, drawing unimaginable shapes on your smooth skin as she awaited your next moves. Her eyes are so soft, so sad and filled to the brim with desire. Billie lets out a shaky sigh, biting her lip in an attempt to keep her emotions and urges under control, "Please, Ma. Jus' wanna be inside you." She begs quietly, voice shaky and broken from her endless pleas for you to sink down on her cock.
You shake your head, much to her disappointment—but she should've known that would be your answer. Her body is trembling beneath your own, head falling against your bare chest, giving you a front row seat to her pathetic, whiny moans and whimpers. A sad cry leaves her lips, swollen and red from biting down on them and kissing you so roughly an hour prior. Her hips buck, pushing the tip of the strap against your cunt softly.
It doesn't affect you as much as it should've in any other scenario, and you know Billie hates it—hates how you don't moan even from the slightest of touches. But, she won't disobey or say anything. Instead, she tries her luck at begging again, "Made me wait so long. Can't... can't do it n'more." She shakes her head, slurring her words together due to headspace you pushed her so far into.
The second her hands make a weak attempt to pull you down, you tilt her head back against the headboard, making her look directly at you, "Such a needy girl," you tsk, grip on her chin tight enough to leave marks. She squirms at your words, her own arousal coating her thighs. She nods her head fervently, her desperation reaching a point past no return, "Really wan' me that bad, yeah?" Your voice is condescending, full of authority as you ask her the question.
"Yeah—Yes, Mommy, yes." She breathes, heart beating frantically in her chest, her grip on your hips tightening enough to form bruises in the shapes of her large hands. Her eyes dart between each of your eyes, then to your lips, repeating the motion over and over again until she finally feels you begin to sink down on her strap. Her lips part in a quiet moan, almost like she can feel the way your walls envelope the silicone.
As soon as your cunt swallows her entire length, her hips struggle not to snap up into you, eyes focused on yours the entire time despite her mind telling her to take in the beautiful sight of her strap filling your pussy to the brim, "So... so pretty, Mommy. Can—Can I move? Please, please, plea—" Billie's mewls are cut off with a moan from your own lips as you begin to bounce on the silicone cock. Her eyes widen, taking it as a sign to thrust her hips up, her strap digging deeper in your wet cunt.
"Want'chu to cum on my cock, Ma, please. Need it so bad.." Billie whines, hands sliding up your body and stopping just below your tits. She waits for your permission, eyes trained on yours, "C'mon, don't be shy, baby." You tease, lips parting again as her hands cup your tits, thumbs rubbing circles along your nipples and feeling them harden beneath the pads of her fingers. She doesn't ask for permission this time, lips latching onto one of your nipples as she continues her thrusts and her kneading motions on your other boob.
The way your walls squeeze against her cock makes it hard for her to fuck you, but she makes an effort to nonetheless, looking up at you through her lashes to gauge your reactions to the pleasure she was giving you. She never wanted this to stop; your quiet whimpers and shaking body, the way you spoke to her in such a demanding tone, and the way you had her under such control, "Close? Are—Mommy, are you?" She whines, pulling away from your nipple to finally look down at your pretty pussy.
"Ma, am I—M'I doing a good job?" She asks, chest rising and falling in uneven breaths, hips moving faster in an effort to get you closer to the edge. She needed you to cum more than you did yourself. You nod, eyes locking onto hers despite the overwhelming pleasure you were receiving, "So good. My good girl." You praise, biting your lip as you clenched around the silicone. The tip of her cock kisses your cervix, and the knot in your stomach almost immediately comes undone.
"Makin' me feel so fuckin' good, Bills..!" You groan, eyes rolling back as you fall forward, head resting on her shoulder as you bounce on her cock the best you could. Billie smiles proudly, hips bucking up against yours to help you ride out your high. When you start to whine for her to stop, she doesn't, her mind too foggy and filled with the determination to get you off, "No more, baby—fuck." You sigh, thighs shaking.
"Cum—Mm'gonna make you cum. Again." Billie babbles, humming quietly as she gulps. She needed to get you off that edge again—even if it meant disobeying and overstimulating you in the process. But, she was still gonna be your good girl. She hoped, "W-Wanna make you feel good." She stutters, hips pushing up sloppily as her hands come down to grip at your waist again, pulling you down against her cock.
"Billie." You breathe, voice laced with more control and dominance than before. Her hips quickly stop, her grip on your waist becoming loose. She looks up into your eyes, noticing the power swirling deep in your e/c irises, "No more, baby." You whisper, shaking your head in disapproval and eliciting a whine from between her pretty, plump lips. You lean forward, kissing her forehead softly before pulling away, "Did so good f'me."
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𐙚 amiyaps : for @47lake !! praying this is good 🙏
𐙚 tags : @mseilishmwah @sophloveswomen @mxqdii @livvydunneness @vyntagess @afteraftercare @wiidfi0wer33 @loving1dsworld @tan1shere @fallingforfalll2 @cierraonline @dandelions4us @scarlittt @ifwdominicfike @slxtarchive @stonerfromlesbos @bilsdillldough @hopingforgoodblogs @karaeilishh @hopelessfawn @zayluvss @meliciousmel13
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