lady2nope · 1 year ago
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Please don't let me cook again. Reze copium.
(part 1/2)
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deoidesign · 10 days ago
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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laugtherhyena · 5 months ago
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Control over time
#ramble in tags! this is my current idea for what Mao is doing in the current arc#because unlike Fumiko Mao actually cares about Denji and Nayuta outside of just being people she should be around because of her job/#agreement with Public safety. so she wouldn't abandon Nayuta in the middle of that mob like Fumiko did#anyways backtracking a bit. So when Fumiko arrived at Denji's apartment as it's being burnt down by Barem and the weapon hybrids#she brings Mao (devil form) along with her instead of the random PS backup dudes#(she went after her in the time she split from Denji and Nayuta. as before that Mao was dealing with the followers at the csm church#alongside Katana and Nail. she tried to see if she could revert the transformed humans back to normal but it's sorta like fiend logic#so she couldn't do much other than cure their injuries since they're pretty much just devils by that point)#back to present time. Fumiko sends Mako to attack Barem#she injuries and throws him to the ground but then Whip appears and makes a huge dent in a side of her head before cutting Mao in half#hence why the blood and ripped clothes she has in this drawing#so Mao is down. temporary as she isn't fully dead but can't to much other than keep moving the clock pointers around and regenerating#Barem tries to choke Nayura and Fumiko shoots him in the head. then the fight between Denji and the weapons + the subsequent mess#with the random citizens attacks him happens pretty much the same#Fumiko leaves Nayura on her own and when she looks to the side she sees Nao crawling in her direction#she asks her to give her some time and she'll be able to fight again. so Nayuta starts killing people and by the time Barem gets the mob#to go kill her Mao is back at full strength and fights back to defend her. subsequently the two of them escape#so Mao is helping Nayuta on whatever she's currently doing. if she's alive that is#if it does turn out that Nayura is dead dead then i may leave Mao with the devil hybrids for the time being. they have a weird relationship#csm#csm oc#chainsaw man#csm part 2#hyena scribbles#Mao Masashige#Nayuta csm
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wildflowercryptid · 8 months ago
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trying to job hunt makes me want to rip out my hair. they expect you to jump through 15 different hoops just to apply to something w/ dogshit pay & hours only to never even send you a rejection email.
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papermonkeyism · 10 months ago
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sorry for being active
logical... i think I'm annoying you too much /especially with my bad English/, and if you don't want to answer, that'll be fine ^^` in any case, thanks for your attention! i'm probably overthinking this, but...
the last question was, what is Crippled (and the others for that matter) afraid of? I understand that all the hounds lived in a pretty terrible place, but what about simple, almost human things like darkness and loneliness? Surama seems quite fearless to me, despite her dislike of the dark, unlike her brother (okay, he's just quite active), and Iacar is reliving the past. of course, they worry about each other, I think, but... hey, admit it, who is afraid of thunderstorms? :)
sorrysorrysorry ^^`
English isn't my first language either (terveisiä Suomesta). It's just that I'm wary.
I do not currently live in a creative enough environment nor life situation where I can reasonably sacrifice several days out of my week into such a demanding creative work, alone, without burning out.
And every time I so much as casually mention Wurr online, there's usually at least one person who'll come and let me know how tragic it is that I've "decided" to "abandon" my "great story and characters". (Or, in one case, how irrelevant and pathetic I am as a failure of a person. Fuck that one, though.)
Like, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown because of health and livelihood issues back in last spring that I'm still occasionally dealing with (one's systolic blood pressure is definetely not supposed to stay over 190 for long), and I just don't want to be dealing with the people sending me obituaries for my comic on top of that right now.
Like, maybe, maybe, if I one day move closer to Tampere to have my Brainstorm Buddy in my reach regularly again. I miss having creative company.
But right now? I'm just tired.
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wormwonder · 3 months ago
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playing with circles O●°○•°o.
#trypophobia#i want to draw again so bad#i feel like my brain is too full of gunk and the only way to clean it is by drawing and i just don't have the time#i did this at work when it was slow#i'm in the process of moving right now. it'll be my first time living alone#i'm finally getting my adhd medicated after getting diagnosed in january#my life is so different year to year it honestly is dizzying#at this time last year my current roommate and i were looking for an apartment#at this time two years ago i had been at my second job ever for three months and i didn't have a car#and my mom had to drive with me to and from work because the van had been totaled and we only had the one car for the four of us#at this time three years ago i had just graduated and was a month into my first ever job. didn't even know how to drive#i thought i was so behind in life and that i was gonna be stuck like that eternally#now... god i don't even know. i'm trying to be positive#this is gonna be my solo chapter. my zuko alone episode. my walden pond.#but really i'm just so scared all the time and i have no choice but to keep treading water forever#i feel like all through childhood everything stays the same. nothing prepared me for living through constant change#entering my mid twenties i'm learning that. yeah you can't predict everything you can't prepare for everything#you can't keep anything and you can't change anything#but you can hold it in your hands. you can choose to live it. you can choose to be there#i hope once i get settled at my new place i'll suddenly find time to do everything#i hope the meds help me with that. i just want to draw again. i just want to feel alive again
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autistic-shaiapouf · 11 months ago
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Wondering if I feel weird about jobs bc I have almost exclusively worked high stress high turnover jobs
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these-detestable-hands · 9 months ago
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I don't wanna be a party pooper because I really love Herlock but with the way they live, Iris is gonna grow up to resent him and likely decrease or completely cut contact after moving out
#She does a lot of the house chores and he relies on her way more than a parent should#A parent shouldn't rely on their kid at all#Maybe when the kid is an adult but Iris is TEN#At that age she should be reading fairy tales and drawing ugly drawings and going to school#Not cooking and cleaning because her guardian is too inconsistent and mentally ill to do it himself#Of course you can't blame a parent for being mentally ill but you can blame him for not reaching out and getting help to raise Iris#Obviously he can't raise her alone#He's a single parent and has a full time job plus some mental health issues#Like dude at least call in Greg to babysit her once or twice a week so you can take a break#Or ask another friend!!!#Idfk#Anyway I speak from experience#My dad is doing badly so I often have to cook and clean because he can't#And it's only partially his fault that he's like this#But I still resent him and I want to cut contact#It wouldn't be unrealistic for Iris to want the same when she gets old enough to realize how unhealthy her relationship with Sholmes is#It's good that Ryunosuke and Susato live with them#And Iris has a friend like Gina who cares about her deeply and helps her sometimes#But that's RECENT#Sholmes has had custody of Iris for as long as she can remember#And with how they both talk about it then this way of living is normal for them#PLEASE get another adult to live with you and take care of Iris you mess of a man!!!!#I have an au I need to make on this subject#To explore the characters but also to vent some of my resentment towards my own dad#Proof reading the tags and I wanna add something#Iris still cooks when Ryu and Susato move in#So they don't do much to lessen the load on her#But add to it because she has to cook for two more people#pie won't shut up#asexual attorneys
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tabaha · 1 year ago
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TIRED
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arrowpunk · 1 year ago
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Current mood: gosh I sure would enjoy my life more AND make a good bit more money if I was able to just do art full time- Like if I spent 8-10 hours a day on art for commissions and such I would probably make twice what I'm making at my current job- but also I don't have much visibility as an artist which is fine, and I don't have the time to churn out shit for free in order to grow my visibility and market myself (because yeah sure I know drawing fanart would get a lot more eyes on my shit but I just do not want to so I am not going to) but also IF I had the ability to use all the time I'm currently at work on art stuff I probably Would gain a big enough following to at least get a decent amount of commissions- I mean I'm skilled enough as an artist that it's definitely not unthinkable- but ALSO I cannot afford to quit my job or take the time off of work to Have enough energy to churn out art pieces consistently enough to build a following and get customers.
In conclusion: my life is a Sisyphean nightmare of no money and no time but have to go to job that steals all my time to get enough money to barely stay afloat because the only other option is completely sinking and that is not something I will accept.
#ramblings of an arrow#anyways I've got a couple art things I'm working on now that I'll probably post soon-ish#depending on how much time I have in the coming weekends#my boss is just being kinda absolutely ridiculous and even tho my job tasks do not require me to be onsite 100% of the time#my boss has said I am not allowed to go home and do the rest of my shit there for the last few hours of the day#which is stupid#or like I can't log on before I drive to work and see what I can get done from home before going onsite#WHICH IS RIDICULOUS#why does it matter HOW the work gets done as long as it GETS DONE???#I fucking swear when I move or when y'all fire me b/c you think I'm slacking you're gonna have to hire like at least 2 ppl to replace me#and then you're gonna regret everything#because I am fucking GOOD AT MY JOB#anyways just sitting here with the knowledge that I definitely can do art fast enough when I have sufficient energy#that if I spent the time I am at work working on art instead#and I was able to make money off of that art#I would earn at least double what I'm making at this boring af job that I REALLY DON'T NEED TO BE ONSITE FOR HALF THE TIME#I could definitely live off my art if I had like... the customer base.... to be full on commissions constantly#augh#anyways I am trying not to think about it too hard but also it's hard not to#simply i love drawing and i am gonna vibrate through the floor at work and set the building on fire b/c I could be at home#drawing#instead of sitting here b/c there is *such* a large amount of this job that involves waiting for applications to just load up#and I could have my work laptop in front of me while I work on art at home during the 10 minutes it takes the inventory system to boot up#i could get so much art done simultaneously while I do actual work at my job if they let me#but noooo#anyways it's whatever I'll live#but haha if anyone wants to follow/promote my art blog/reblog my art feel free lol jk jk unless...#I don't have the time/energy to market myself but like I'm definitely not half bad as an artist#ugh i have so many things I want to drawwwwwww#if I only had the time
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lost-in-yahargul · 3 months ago
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Landlord decided to raise rent by 40k forints I am so dead
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hesperidia · 5 months ago
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they massacred my boy.. (saw Mika's new casual fit)
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bluesnails · 5 months ago
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There are several people I follow on here that I know Id want to be friends in person T-T like please I want some friends with specific interests. Please I want friends who love bugs and are into science, or are into ask a mortician or like want to get into food adventures.
I want a friend who will go down a weird rabbit hole about the American chestnut tree with me!
Well my partner does to some extent but we have different kinds of interests! I want to go to a butterfly garden and he wants to go to a book store! Similar vein different things.
One day! One day I'll venture out of my home in a consistent enough pattern to meet people!
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luvsavos · 9 months ago
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life kicks me in the ribs yet again: more than likely i won't be able to get all the money i need in time for the alatreon model, so. got excited for nothing :)
#mar.txt#vent? i guess?#again:girlhelp:#i need $120.25 still and of course i didnt get a job in time because why would things go my way and even if i do a bunch around the house#the money is due the day before my dad gets paid so that won't work#im panicking sort of to the point of being kind of nauseous from it haha#turning to art comms from my friends out of desperation but i don't think i'll get enough to cover the last bit of cost#not to mention the issue of my phone absolutely fucking sucks ass so i can't do digital art until i get a new one so any comms i DO have/get#will have to wait until i get a new phone for me to finish them and i know that's kind of A Problem which is why i'm only asking close#friends who i know won't be bothered by the idea of paying upfront then having to wait a little while for the finished product#though at least i can get the paper basic sketch done,since i draw the basic thing on paper then do more detail and whatnot digitally#idk if any of my moots wouldn't be bothered by that. i can promise i will get the full things done once i get a new phone. i'm just really#fucking desperate rn lmao god i fucking hate everything#i need to just. stop letting myself feel the emotion of excitement over Anything in the future. because when i do it always,ALWAYS goes#wrong. youd think id learn by now but no apparently im just too fucking stupid to#anyways. ill draw humanoids and i can try my absolute damndest at mh monsters even though i kind of struggle with anything but malzeno#practice makes perfect right? hahahahahaaa. fuck me.#not to be concerning on main but if this were me a few years ago i think at this point i'd be genuinely considering offing myself because i#am SO fucking tired of literally everything possible going wrong and even the things that are SUPPOSED to bring me some comfort or happiness#among the ocean of everything else ALSO going wrong#obviously the more money that could be tossed my way the better but hell i'll even do just paper sketch comms for a lower price i am#genuinely desperate because i really REALLY just want this ONE fucking thing to go right for me. god. just One thing.#alternatively if anyone wants to just. Give Me money. idk id feel bad about getting money without giving something in return but if anyone#WANTS to do that theyre free to as well. idk just dm me for my paypal if that or a shitty probably time-delayed comm sounds like smthn youd#be interested in??? even tho who am i kidding lmfao nobody will,that would be too good and i'm obviously just not fucking allowed to have#good things huh#ugh. sorry for the vent post Again. i swear we'll return to the usually scheduled funnyman stuff and ocposting. eventually. :/
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nerice · 11 months ago
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good evening i am. angry but also don't have the wrist stamina to get into it
#elia txts#it just sucks!!!!!! that my job is Doing Nothing and waiting for my body to Heal#FOR ANOTHER 3 MONTHS AT LEAST#i must under no circumstances overdo it even when i start feeling better even in march#i should not write all night or draw a lot it will be so much Easing Back Into It and Not Fuck It All Up Again#but im sick and tired!!!!!!!! two full years pissed into the void#and i won't even be able to throw myself back into passions with my whole heart#like i cannot get over losing two actual years of my life i am so extremely antisocial abt it too#bc before this irl fri*ndshit was taking up so much of my time & i agonized over it and i just like#shouldn't have should've just dropped it then id have never gotten into g3nshin id have quit my job much earlier#i would have actually been able to enjoy japan. it fucking HAUNTS ME#ventpost lol dl but like#i fell behind. everything got away from me. & now i have to wait more and be gentle and patient w myself i wanna bite my own head off#GOD. release me from this hell#i want to draw so badly i don't wanna get 10 pathetic minutes a day at best#i wanna get an art spark and not put it in a box i want to be consumed again & pour hours into it fuelled by energy drink unafraid#reading books is all i can do at the moment but even that is miserable bc i don't have the typing ability for my vocab lists#i can't write notes and summaries even when things are interesting. i cannot look at japanese without crying bc i miss kanji#& believe in recovery now!! (on good days anyway) but this aching void of loss and grief and time wasted will it ever go away :(
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peachesofteal · 5 months ago
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Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader #33 Ghost helps fix up your house or makes repairs - for @glitterypirateduck's Ghost writing challenge
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His phone rings again on the following Tuesday morning.
It's been a day and a half, since he's seen you and Orion last. Since he made you promise to call, no matter what, if you needed something. Or if you needed a break, or some company.
Anything. Anything, and he'd be there.
You had tried to push him off a bit, tried to assert your independence, which he appreciates, he values. He likes to know you can take care of yourself and the baby when he's not here. But when he is-
"We're really fine, you know. You don't have to be... available for us, whenever. I mean, like if you have other things. Or people, you don't have to be here all the time. I've been doin' it on my own, and I'm fine. We're fine. I don't want you to feel like you have to-"
His fork clatters to the plate, and your eyes go round as he rises from the chair and steps toward you, firm hand cupping your arm. "I'm here because I wan' to be."
"O-okay, I just don't want you to be here because you think you have to... because you're all the sudden saddled with a kid."
"I'm not here because I feel like 've been saddled with a kid. I'm here because I want to be, because I wanted you the night we made him, and I still do. I want you both." Your mouth drops wide before snapping shut abruptly, warmth rising in your cheeks. You're so cute like this, flustered and nervous, and it reminds him of the night he met you, a sweet little kitten, all alone at the bar. "And you've done more than just a fine job, sweet girl, takin' care of yourself and our baby for me, but when 'm here, it's my job."
So, his phone rings, and it doesn't matter that he's in the middle of spotting Soap at the squat rack.
He drops everything.
"Hi." You're a little out of breath when you open the door, eyes wide and wild, chewing on your lip. Orion is asleep in your arms, blissfully unaware, head lolling on your shoulder, clad only in a diaper.
His head buzzes, still trying to reconcile the truth of this entire thing, the fact that this is his, you and his baby. His.
"What's wrong?" He's massive in your door frame, and ushers you back inside, clicking the lock into place behind him. "What's goin' on?"
"It's... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called. I just... I don't know how to fix it and you said I could... call, right? So-"
"Hey." His thumb gently presses into the inside of your elbow, and then he squeezes slightly. "It's okay. I want you to call me. What is it?"
"It's the laundry." You blurt, and then freeze, eyes flicking down to see if Ry has woken up. "I broke the washer, and today is the day I do the baby's clothes, but I can't get it to work and... it hates me." He chuckles.
"It doesn't hate you, sweetheart. Let's take a look." This, he can do. Things with his hands, mechanical things, physical puzzles, easy. It's not the first time he'll have fixed an appliance, and it won't be the last.
He takes the machine apart as quickly as possible, pieces laid out exactly where he needs them, washers and screws and everything all accounted for. It's the belt, he discovers rapidly, an easily fixed problem with a new part.
"I'll have to run down the street quick," he tells you, drawing up to his full height and motioning towards the entryway, "but it's a quick fix." You nod, stepping out of the way, small smile on your lips. He promises he'll be right back, that he'll have it done in no time, and you pad along to the door, standing back as he pulls it wide.
"Simon..." you whisper, and he turns, "thank you."
"Of course."
True to his word, he's back before the hour. The low murmur of the TV echoes from the living room, and he gravitates there before returning to his task, driven to lay eyes on both of you, to make sure you're here, you're okay-
and the sight of it stops him in his tracks.
You're asleep on the couch, shirt pulled up and bra unhooked from it's strap. Orion is cradled against your chest, his tiny fingers curled in the flesh of your breast, mouth lax around your nipple. There's a dribble of milk sliding down his cheek, and the sight of it all makes Simon dizzy. He knew you nursed him, but seeing it for the first time fills him with something he's not sure how to reconcile, adding onto the heap of adoration and possession pounding in his heart. It's a different kind of puzzle, the same kind of barbaric instinct and need roaring in his blood, the one that tells him to tuck you away and never let you go.
He stares for a second longer, scratching this moment into his memory as much as he can before he realizes how tired you are. You do a good job of hiding it, smiling and buzzing about, but in the early afternoon light, he can see the exhaustion so clearly, and kicks himself for not noticing sooner.
When Ry starts to fuss, your brow furrows in your sleep, and Simon can't stop himself. "Shh, shhh." He soothes, pulling him free as gently as he can. You twitch, hands searching, and then your head snaps up in a panic, breaths stuttered. "It's okay. I got him, you just closed your eyes, is all. It's alright."
"Sorry." You croak, sitting up and fumbling with your top. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"It's okay, mama." He's on his knees in front of the couch, in front of you, and you stare down at him, mystified. "What does he usually do after he eats?"
"Uh... burp? And then he goes down to sleep." You yawn. "A change, if he needs it."
"Alright, 've got it, you go rest. After I put him down, I'll finish the washer."
"Oh, no... I can-"
"I've got him. Nothin' I can't handle." He shifts Orion, supporting his head as he props him up over his shoulder, rubbing his back slowly. He wants to do this, wants you to let him do this, wants you to trust him.
He needs it.
You hesitate. "Are you sure?"
"If I need anythin', I'll wake you." There's a burp cloth on the coffee table, and he places it under Ry's chin. "Huh, lad? If we need mama, we'll get her, right?" You soften, posture relaxing a bit, and then you nod.
"Alright, then."
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