#I can't access a therapist so how the fuck else am I supposed to work out my shit?

[princessgemma12]

On Disabled Antis

It confuses me so fucking much how so many disabled antis there are.

It's like. You support people with NPD? Oh, you're chill with personality disorders? People with violent intrusive thoughts? You're supportive of trauma survivors? Oh cool, me too!

Oh you... you're an anti and think they should keep those things lock up inside they're head instead of processing that shit? Great. Greatgreatgreatgreat.

Fuck you dude

[sysmedsaresexist]

hey does acknowledging the existence of parts make symptoms worse? like if they have a different name or other stuff about them thats different from you as a part, or using we/us, or generally just talking about them as a different part. i see ppl on reddit complain abt 'fakers' and them talking abt parts as if different from themself being against treatment guidelines but whenever i talk about my parts this way w drs/nurses/etc no one gives a shit. how else am i supposed to talk about it

Posting all three asks together.

To the very first question, does acknowledging parts make symptoms worse, yes and no. I have to talk about both, because it depends.

Typically, when people first find out they're a system or start questioning having a CDD, symptoms DO get worse.

A lot of antis and reddit are going on old research (old research doesn't support them, bear with me). Before the age of the internet, most people had someone ELSE point out that they were a system before they saw it in themselves.

This has to do with how mental health was treated a couple decades ago (having problems was Bad™️, deny and hide symptoms, it's still true but it was much worse), and access to resources about symptoms being much, much harder to come by. Amnesia was harder to notice. These days, every time you log in, you can see what your alters were doing while you were gone. There's no denying or hiding it.

That said, take myself, for example. I'm in my mid 30s, and I've been in therapy since I was 4.

Around age 20, after a very serious event, my therapist and I started to discuss alters. Before this point, I had rarely heard them, as far I knew, they didn't have names or personalities. Many of my alters DIDN'T have names. They were little more than emotionally reactive concepts of bad coping methods-- "the angry one," "self harming one."

It wasn't until I worked with my therapist to gain some kind of communication that my system kind of... activated. Suddenly, all my symptoms seemed 100 times worse, I was noticing things more and more, the increased communication was terrifying, we fought and rejected each other. We became more real, gained traits, names, voices.

Typically, this kind of upset settles after a while, but it's normal for it to get worse.

This type of progression of symptoms is well documented, but it's no longer the norm.

Now, is it specifically acknowledging the alters or parts that cause issues?

Fuck no, and Treatment Guidelines don't say that acknowledging them as separate is a bad thing.

The treatment guidelines are very clear that you use the language and words that the client uses.

What the treatment guidelines advise against is encouraging the rejection or disownment of parts. An example is someone who's religious, and believes that their system is related to possession. The therapist is to refer to the alters in the same way the client does-- by name and "we/us", etc, without encouraging the idea that they're actually possessed by a demon.

This is more about system accountability than anything else. The point is to get the system to realize that they are all in this together, and that the actions of one have consequences for all, including the demon in question. There is no hell to return to, when the body goes to jail, so do you.

This is integration.

Learning to get along, compromise on needs and wants, working together, leaning on each other, learning about each other, until together you're an unstoppable power ranger mecha with useful skills spread throughout the system. Everyone has a part to play in success.

You can't do that if you don't acknowledge them and their differences.

Fuck reddit.

[plural-culture-is]

what am i supposed to do if i don't really wanna be a system

my system's boring, for lack of a better word. no inner world and no hopes of ever having one; when someone's in front they're never a distinct person from whoever else is in front and when someone's not in front they basically don't exist and both scenarios are just fucking lonely; because of the aforementioned nobody actually likes each other, at most they just like the basic idea of each other; we barely switch, which means interacting with each other is even more annoying because external communication literally just isn't an option; also because of the aforementioned fusion is just not possible, let alone final fusion; no littles or exomemories or anything like that that don't sound exactly fun but are at least interesting; i could go on, just the most stale nothing-burger system one could imagine.

but i can't even just be similar to a singlet oh no no no, i have to be JUST plural enough so that it impacts my life too much for me to ignore it. not in any of the ways that plurality could ever be enjoyable or improve someone's life, just a bunch of identity confusion and derealisation. being a system never helps me with my mental health, especially since none of us have roles or anything. all our trauma and mental illness and adult responsibilities are just dumped on whoever's in front this month, and if i need a protector or caretaker then too bad so sad i have to make myself feel better on my own.

i'd probably be fine with all of that if it weren't for the fact everyone else has interesting systems where shit actually happens. saying "oh well all systems are different" doesn't really help because my concern isn't that i'm weird it's that i'm missing out. even if i was a singlet i'd still be able to make my own system if i really wanted to, but i already have a system and it already has clear-cut functions that i can't bullshit my way out of. i just got the worst possible outcome. it's absolutely miserable, what am i supposed to get out of this.

i just want something to make it better. a way to get rid of my system or advice on how to go forward or whatever i'm just sick of this stupid fucking system. none of us like it and none of us ever will.

Final fusion generally isn't something a system can achieve on their own, it's something that takes work with a therapist to guide you. If this is something you want, finding a therapist who will help you with that is your best option. Alternatively, there may be therapists who can help you with communication and making your system function the way you want if that's something you're struggling to do on your own, but there are also guides on those kinds of things if you don't have access to a therapist (like these guides on how to build a headspace, this guide on communication, and these switching guides)