#I can’t light Her candle rn so I don’t want Her to feel ignored
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I’m an Athena Devotee, of course I take on more than I can handle when it comes to academics
I’m an Athena Devotee, of course I study classics
I’m an Athena Devotee, of course my Pinterest feed is full of owls
I’m an Athena Devotee, of course I’m a writer
I’m an Athena Devotee, of course I make some of my offerings by hand
I’m an Athena Devotee, of course I like debates
I’m an Athena Devotee, of course I’m ‘opinionated’
I’m an Athena Devotee, of course my posture is bad due to creative hobbies, reading, and college
I’m an Athena devotee, of course I’m a literature student
I’m an Athena Devotee, of course I love researching Her
I’m an Athena Devotee, of course I like poetry
I’m an Athena Devotee, of course I’m a history nerd
#hellenic polytheism#athena worship#athena#athena devotee#it’s Her birthday so prepare for a LOT of Athena posting#I can’t light Her candle rn so I don’t want Her to feel ignored#I’ve seen loads of posts like this but none of them resonate so I made my own
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superficial love.
20 day song imagine masterlist | main masterlist
pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader
pronouns: she/her
genre: angst, fluff
warning: nothing yuh
a/n: sorry if ur favorite candle sent is vanilla
word count: 700
synopsis: she's tired of hiding their real relationship and tired of feeling unimportant, so he fixes it. In a bucky way.
The sent of Bucky left the bed and her overwhelming joy left her body. Just in an instant, he was gone. She knew what she signed up for when they got together but that didn't make it hurt any less.
Some days she wished he would talk to her more. She wished that their relationship would be more than what meets the eye.
He's new to all this. That's what she had to keep reminding herself. The man hasn't been on a date since in years. But she still finds herself craving the romance in novels. The "honey i'm home" love or even the "i can't live without you" romance. The love that takes your breath away. Not superficial. Not fake.
Of course she loved her Bucky. They've known each other since he joined the team. They've been on missions together and even made memories together. So when he came up to her and asked if they could keep their relationship on the down-low, she was hurt.
Did he not want anyone to know he was in love with her? Was he embarrassed of her? She didn't know. She should've questioned why but being in love makes you do stupid things. Love struck things.
"Y/n. Do you have any requests for your mission with Bucky?" Natasha said snapping y/n out of her thoughts.
Y/n looked towards the rest of the team in the living room. Was she. daydreaming? "Sorry." Y/n exhaled, "Can I maybe get another partner?"
The room was silent. Y/n looked towards Bucky seeing his face fall. She didn't want to hurt him. She loved him, but she needed time away from him. At least that's what she thought.
The meeting was over and y/n suited up and went on the mission with her new partner, Steve. Bucky's best friend. Great.
"Trouble in paradise?" Steve asked, while walking to beside her through the home.
"I guess."
"You know y/n, he cares about you." Steve said.
"So why does he he shut me out when I suggest taking it farther." She asked.
"I don't know, why don't you ask him right now?" Steve said, his voice getting farther from her.
"Wha-"
Y/n turned around to see Bucky smiling sadly at her. "James."
"Really? You're going to James me?" Bucky asked.
She ignored him.
Bucky sighed and softly grabbed her arm, stopping her from continuing. "Tell me what's going on y/n."
"You're stopping me from going. on a mission." Y/n said getting a tad annoyed. So he wants to talk about this now?
"I thought we were doing good! Why don't you want to be with me?"
"What!? James, all i ever wanted is to be with you! You are the one who shuts me out!"
"Y/n-"
"And it makes me feel so. unimportant! It makes me feel like you're using me!"
"Really?" Bucky was absolutely shocked. He had no idea she even felt this way.
"Yes. And now, I have a mission to do. With Steve." Y/n walked away.
-
The mission went smooth but y/n couldn't help but think about Bucky the whole time. Was she too harsh on him? Her emotions got the best of her.
"Bucky?" Y/n called from the front door of his room. She was going to apologize. Maybe she wasn't wrong, but she did feel bad.
There was no answer so she cracked his door open. It was dark but the room smelled of vanilla. "Bucky?" Y/n flipped on the light switch and saw Bucky holding a candle at the edge of his bed.
"Hi."
"Bucky. What are you doing?"
"Saying sorry with your favorite candle?"
Y/n sighed walking towards him and sitting next to him. The two sat in an uncomfortable silence until Bucky spoke up. "I'm sorry I made you feel unimportant. You mean so much to me and even though I. suck at this talking stuff-"
"Yeah, you do." She laughed
Bucky laughed, "Yeah I do. I want you to feel important. What can I do?"
"Well." Y/n blew out the candle, "You could start by actually learning my favorite candle sent."
Bucky laughed, "Deal."
-
i have doja cat stuck in my head rn-
- kimberly
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Star Wars AU:
(I JUST SPED-READ THIS WHOLE AU RN AND IM BRAINING SO MUCH AND WROTE THIS AS I WENT!!!!
TW: there is an explanation of Sally’s death, but not to detail really! As well as TW for blood!)
After Sally was killed and Fundy was taken,he switches between the personalities of ‘Ghostbur’ and ‘Alivebur’ maybe? (Maybe around Tommy being taken as well as Tubbo? He kind of switches back and forth on both these types of ‘states’? I cannot think of the correct wording but yeah)
Sometimes he’ll just Not Sleep or he’ll wake up after a vivid dream, panic seizing his chest (he sometimes uses his force to try and convince himself that none of this was real and that awful day was just a nightmare to try sleep. He was still living in his old home with Sally and small Fundy with childish giggles being the only thing he heard; but it never really works. He doesn’t think about the Knife he lost. Nope.) Either way, he is not very mentally stable at either of these times because he’s lost all these important people because he can’t protect them.
(He remembers how the blood leaked out of his chest and his vision slowly began to blur as he sat by the love of his life who had now been dead for minutes or maybe an hour before he got into contact with his family.
‘Hello?...’ he knew that voice... he thinks he does. The voice belonged to someone with kind eyes and wings that added to great hugs...
‘Phil?....’ a cough, god the taste of copper and salt of tears was a horrible mixture before coughing again, barely hearing the concerned voice and another voice in the background.
‘Wil, what’s wrong mate? What happened?’ The voices were conversing again, he’s slowly focusing more on the blood that’s leaking out of the open wound in his chest.
‘I-I...’ he either chokes on a sob or his own blood or maybe both. ‘I couldn’t stop them... please..’
He doesn’t remember the rest of the conversation that well. )
He’ll just go around in the morning back home with Phil, Techno and the addition of Tommy like usual, bags under his eyes and said brown eyes don’t have the same shine they used to and he’ll walk up to someone, a blue bracer on his arm, fingers tracing each indent (in a certain way it feels warm, as if her hands hadn’t even left it after she placed it on his arm all that time ago..) and just
“Have you seen Sally and Fundy this morning? I didn’t hear either of them when I woke up...” and their looks make him feel confused, why do they look sad like that?... it’s not like they just upped and left or something.... right?
And either it’s that moment where continues to block every single detail of That Day or he remembers everything so vividly and perfectly like it happened that Morning (sometimes both) and the memories flood in of the love of his life on the ground lifeless and his son gone and remembers the way his chest burned and his throat ached as he screamed and shouted and moved and Sally was cold, cold, lifeless, never to laugh or sing or dance or make fun of Tommy for being a Child or anyone-
No one to sing his little songs with as they sung their little champion to sleep after the child’s nightmares or temper tantrum’s of ‘I’m not tired!’ As he would hold a little stuffed toy of a weird blue creature dubbed ‘friend’ that Wilbur had passed down to him after the toy was once his comfort as a child, a gift from Phil.
—
‘Now Fundy, this is Friend, they look a little weird and a bit old and dirty, but I know they’ll keep you company too, okay? They’ll protect you and stop your nightmares... I promise you that. They’ll fight all the bad guys in you dreams, okay little champion?’
And if sometimes someone will catch him in his sons room with a singular candle lot whilst he holds a blue stuffed toy singing a soft lullaby as his voice cracks where Sally would’ve once add her own parts, no one questions it.
—
Then Tubbo is taken; sweet, kind and enjoyable and funny Tubbo with a heart of gold and steel - And Then Tommy, his stupid younger brother and those assholes who took both of his brothers away from him. And then it happens to Tubbo again.
And Dream as well.
Not as if he’s slowly starting to care about him. Nope. Dream is just.... an ally. (No one should be forced to work for those bastards god damnit, no one. It’s not like he cares about Dream more and more because this happened with Tubbo too-)
(He does his best to ignore the voice in his head that shouts at him that he can protect no one, but he’s already believed it from the beginning.)
And so if he slowly becomes stubborn and doesn’t care about his well being again and only talks about blowing the place that holds his brother captive to smithereens? (Like the Empire blew a bullet through his chest and his wife’s head.) Whos stopping him from blowing the place to kingdom come to get Tubbo back? (The injured innocents - the sane part of himself whispers in his mind, those who can’t protect themselves and need to be protected a voice that sounds like Sally says.)
Who’s stopping him? He’s doing it either way. He...He needs to. He has to doesn’t he??
Not to mention his excitement on light terrorism with Niki and Jack, if he’s allowed to go a little crazy he’s going to Make It Grand.
—
He’s so cold all the time (argbur reference? In my ask? Yes.) he wants to be warm again, but his warmth was taken... he doesn’t like being cold...when was the last time he felt warm?... he can’t remember right now. He misses Sally, he wonders if She or Fundy would be proud of him. (Iykyk 😔)
-
(I’m not sure what else should be added with ‘Alivebur’ , but please he needs so much therapy it’s not that hard to see when he’ll sometimes go into his own little world and relive memories or something completely new and talk to his dead lover and son who he also believes he’ll never see again.)
-
And when he finds out the Fundy that wears a helmet around him is the Fundy who was taken away from him so long ago and it’s the first time in a long time that he finally breaks down in front of someone? He doesn’t care right now.
And if he gives Fundy one of the hunting knives Sally gave him at their wedding? He wants his son to have a memory of his mother too.
-blue
Perfection. Absolutely perfect. I love all of this. Just everything about it is great.
#dream smp#dream smp au#star wars au#wilbur soot#fundy#sally the salmon#ask#Blue#tw blood#blood tw#drabble
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remember this ship ask? yeah, i wanna do them all with lawlight bcs they control my brain. but it's a happy no death note au bcs it's me. oh and this shit is long plus it's 3 am rn so my words are very messy. but enjoy.
(i skip some numbers that i answered and the ones that i can't think of btw)
pre relationship :
How did they first meet?
L's investigation hq. he was a suspect of L, still, but this time he told soichiro to bring this 18 yo boy to the hq to test him, asking light to work with all of them. he ends up not guilty ofc, but L still wants to keep him…around.
What was their first impression of each other?
ah, the good old 'what the fuck dude???' from light and the 'oooh he got a big brain' from L. it's hard to get out of canon in this one.
Who felt romantic feelings first?
L. But it's more like thoughts, rather than feelings. It's just these random thoughts that pop out in his head like 'i don't mind kissing this guy, if he asks' but not like 'i want to kiss him' yknow what i mean? idk this is just something i experience a lot lmao. it develops to feelings once light falls for him and L can see that. So in terms of ideas, it's L, but in terms of feelings, it's Light.
Did either of them try to resist their feelings?
Oh our favorite light denial yagami. Of course he's cursing himself for having feelings like this but once L calls it out he's over.
If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?
Light would laugh it off, and be like "i don't like him that way you know". L would shrugs be like "well yes that's possible, i don't think i mind".
What would their lives be like if they had never met?
boring, lonely, empty, you name it
(more under the cut)
general :
Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?
hmm, they both initiated the relationship? ykwim? They both notices they had feelings for each other and just...go from there. they never have like a relationship talk, they just go with the flow until at some point they starts to get comfortable to refer the other as partners. They basically can read each other's mind, after all.
Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?
Yes, sort of. A tennis game! And a coffee sesh after, just like canon. They plan this to be just "let's just relax, this case has been really exhausting, take a one day break, L" but when Light got home, sayu asked "how's the date going?!" He immediately said "it's not a date, you watch too many dramas it's rotting your brain" And sachiko gave him a smile while shaking her head at this statement and when he's back to his room he immediately calls L and was like "hey does that count as a date?" and L answers with "depends, do you want it to be?" with a smirk that light can hear.
What was their first kiss like?
it was late at night, light was helping L with the case when everybody went home. they were sharing their view about this certain criminal when light notices L staring at his lips, first he ignored it but it happens again and again to a point where their face just got real close and then...kiss, somehow. idk lmao.
Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?
First person who can understand each other and are equals, the only ones who can tear the other's wall down, and just practically soulmates in any form that even their sun & moon signs mirroring each other's? YES.
What’s their height difference? Age difference?
i hc L as just a little bit taller than light, but it's not like you can see it through the hunch anyway. ofc we all know the 6 years and 4 months age gap
What’s their relationship with each other’s families?
Sayu likes L, Sachiko is kinda surprise Light doesn't date a typical pretty person, but it only makes her heart fonder. L doesn't mind them, he thinks they're nice, light grew up in a good place. Soichiro? Well, he might me a bit reluctant but he loosen up slowly, his son is happier than he ever was, after all.
Who takes the lead in social situations?
Light, obviously. Because he's a charmer and if L takes control, the person they speak to would run immediately the first 2 minutes.
Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?
it is a universal knowledge that L does this. like, come on, count the fics, you can't, there's just so many. he loves to break that perfect wall and make light feel 🥴😳. it's entertaining. But he knows when to stop. too much of that will be embarrassing in light's part, and he respects his boy's dignity.
love :
Who said “I love you” first?
Light!! The thing is it was said over the phone. He gets more and more comfortable talking with L through calls, since every now and then L travel frok countries to countries. One time he just like "yeah, safe flight. love you, bye" he expected L to say goodnight to him as a response as usual but L was silent and he realised what he just said and realised that he fucking mean it. L seems to still be able to read his mind even thousands miles away so he replies with "i love you too, goodnight". they never missed seeing each other more than that night.
What are their primary love languages?
we had a discussion for this! but as we see in canon, they're both very acts of service with a little hint of physical touch here and there. quality time is also important. words and gift aren't really needed for them.
Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?
L. Only to annoy light. It's terrible that he almost cringed to himself, but it does bring a good laugh for light.
How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?
PDA is a not their preference, they just love being in private more. They might hold hands sometimes, butmost times they won't. Altho they always stand or sit reaaaaally glued to each other even though there are so many space.
Who initiates kisses?
both. they want it, they got it. but light gives light kisses (ha) more, not necessarily on the lips, usually when L was really busy working, keeping his feet on the ground.
Who’s the big and little spoon?
They don't spoon a lot, they prefer not touching at all or cufdling face to face, but when they do, Light is the little spoon because being a big spoon makes his sleeping position kinda uncomfy, he feels awkward with his legs, it's just not. thankfully L thinks cuddling light this way is very calming.
What are their favorite things to do together?
Tennis and solving cases, duh. Or sometimes they play video games fighting each other. Anything competitive and/or challenging that make their brain grow 10 times bigger. But sometimes, a comfortingly peaceful and quiet dinner with hushed words thrown here and there about random things feels like the best thing ever.
Who’s more protective?
L. For identity reasons, ofc.
Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?
Physical. They can read each other's mind, they knew it by gesture, touches, and glances.
What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?
IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE. venus by sleeping at last fits them so well, that song is in the background of multiple cozy couch smooches sessions or even when they're slow dancing (please listen to this tho song it's so good). also i think they would like persephone by the tragic thrills too, L would be like "this song reminds me of you" and Light answers with "i'm persephone?" "Yeah" "i'm a fucking badass then" "yes you are". oh and first day of my life? lover of mine? pink in the night? sweet creature? the lakes? oh god i have too much answers
What kind of nicknames do they call each other?
they don't do nicknames, really. although, L sometimes called light with some snarky tony stark styled nicknames when he feels particularly playful but annoyed at the same time.
Who remembers the little things?
They both do. Big brained assholes they are.
domestic life :
If they get married, who proposes?
It's not really a proposal, they didn't even remember who said it first. But one sleepy night after a hard case, someone said "hey you wanna get married" and the other was like "sure, why not" "really?" "yeah, i think i'm ready, you?" "me too" "great" and then they go to sleep. at breakfast the next morning L called watari from across the room and said "wammy i need you to prepare [enter marriage stuff here], and light, you must call your family after this". poor old watari chokes on his tea.
What’s the wedding like? Who attends?
The wedding is in a secluded little place near the wammy's house, L used to go there a lot as a kid. With just light's parents, sayu, and watari. Well, not until Light caught Mello, Matt, Near, and Linda peeping from the bushes
Do they have any pets?
A chunky cat the wammy's kids feed daily but never try to keep them in, because no animals are allowed inside the orphanage. L saw it and was like "light let's bring this bitch home" she is, indeed a little bitch, but light and L loves her dearly. her fur has light brown and black colors, like both of their hairs, so she becomes their daughter, L gave him a weird ass name but i can't think about it rn.
Who kills the bugs in the house?
Light because he's the one who's actually bothers to. They ofc annoyed L but he cpuldnt care less to actually get rid of them.
Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?
L. He rarely sleeps and once he did, he wakes up very fucking late and will pull light back to the bed if he's woken up by the empty space beside him.
Who’s the better cook?
Light. L is a spoiled brat. But Light can't bale for shit, that's Watari's job. Light grow up learning and helping his mom making meals for the family. He's not the best, but it's good enough to make L craves them in between his sweets.
Who likes to dance?
None of them. But they would slow dance on rare, sentimental occasions. And it's like so fucking romantic bcs all the lights are off except for a candle or a table lamp or a cabinet lamp whatever that has yellow-y dim light. And they don't speak, they just casually move against each other, but heart ready to combust like i do when i the mental image came into my head.
#lawlight#death note#very fucking self indulgent whoa#brainrot hours#anyway i love them so much#scenarios and shits
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Hello! I loved your Kaguya headcanons and saw ur ask box was open so could I get some more NSFW and SFW headcanons for Kaguya and Shisui Uchiha? 🌸🦇🌸 best of luckk
Again, I’ll be honest, I didn’t have lots of ideas for Kaguya (and shisui i’ll be honest too), I’m happy you liked how I wrote her <3 It was still difficult so it kinda took me forever and I’m not that happy with those but anyway, hope you like them!
Kaguya relationship HCs (SFW)
Ok so I don’t think she’d get in a relationship. Like not after all that’s happened. But, I can see her building a say...’close’ relationship with someone.
It would be an unspoken agreement, like yeah we care about each other, maybe we have sex too, but they’d be discreet and she’d only ever allow small signs of affections.
She might talk to them in a softer way compared to how she’d talk to others.
Yeah but she would never spill all her secrets, even to them. Like she’d still be pretty distant I think.
Overall, she’d be quite protective of them, but would try and remain neutral. She is not to disturb their life any more, she can’t offer them much and they’d be stuck in this situation, it would already be something she wouldn’t like. As in she can’t offer a life with marriage, children yadda yadda but also, she can’t be in a ‘proper’ relationship if that makes sense.
She might, she just might get in a relationship with someone of her social class though, but again, it wouldn’t change much, chances are, it’s more political than sentimental.
She could also get in a relationship if she happened to fall in love, but again, she’d try not to do that, she’s very attached to her late husband still. I honestly don’t think it would happen, she wouldn’t fall for them the same way.
In those situations, she’d still remain distant. If they’re nice and don’t pry too much she might grow quite fond of them. Her children, country and overall peace would come first though, always.
I think that in that situation, she’d fear for their life a lot.
She’s someone who cares a lot but shows very little and it might be difficult for the person she’s with.
It’s pretty random but I feel like she’d love to go on small walks with them. Simple things. Maybe write memoirs or letters that she’d want them to read. They wouldn’t know.
She wouldn’t talk much but she’d show support and care by putting her hands on top of theirs and looking deeply into their eyes.
She’s a bit cryptic, we cannot change that. But she’d be very very soothing.
Kaguya relationship HCs (NSFW)
I could see her being into sensory deprivation, like using blindfolds and candles, that kind of thing.
Oh but she could be into dressing her partner up too, like have them wear pretty dresses of vests, jewellery, maybe her own clothes if they like them...Etc. Like she’d primp her partner and then make it erotic. Yes I have a movie scene in mind while I am writing that, if you know, you know.
I could see her taking it slow with a partner too. Showing them what she likes, guiding them. I don’t know if I said that before, but I feel like she’d love if they did the same.
I can also see her as very cold, even while having sex, she doesn’t show much. She’d tell them when she likes what they doing though.
I could see her getting lost in the moment and scratch a lover though. Maybe pant and moan a little too. It would be exquisite.
I don’t think she’d think about going down on a partner at first. I feel like at first she’d be surprised if they went down on her too.
Yes hello, she will sit on your face though.
Not very kinky overall.
Can make it very very sensual, a bit emotionless though. Picture something in an erotic movie, like the aesthetic is nice but if you are playing you feel very little from her.
She’s in control.
Shisui Uchiha relationship HCs (SFW)
Oh to be his secret lover, not deemed worthy of becoming an Uchiha and meeting away from prying eyes, just to make out and talk about life and how you’d like the world to be. And then he dies at the ripe age of 19 or something and you’re left heartbroken
Gentleman. I will not elaborate.
Oh but he’d definitely take them on nice dates, away from everything. He’d be fun too. Yes, he’d joke a lot with them.
Not one to start drama at all. If anything he’d avoid arguments at all costs, sometimes he agrees to things he doesn’t really like just to have it easy.
He’s a bit secretive though I will say that. And he’s busy. Loves to give a lot of attention to his s/o though.
Loves to just spend time with them doing nothing. I feel like he’d be one to want to share small things with an s/o, like things he saw, things he did.
I don’t think he’d see a future with an s/o though, he’s probably waiting for his clan to arrange something (or you know, he’s ready to die so??? Who knows) In an AU, he’d be one to try and see where it goes, not really trying to plan things ahead. Both to avoid scaring them off and also because it sort of worries him too.
Would like training with them, he’d go easy, even if they asked him not to.
A good relationship on the surface I will say that, but you can’t really wrap your head around some things, lurking, there’s always secrets and things you won’t know.
He knows you know and he ignores it. He doesn’t really want to get into it much.
Shisui Uchiha relationship HCs (NSFW)
I’ve read a fic, I do not remember its name rn, where he was a huge pleaser. Like he just got off while getting his partner off, and I can definitely see it.
Nah but this man probably has so much stamina, it’s insane.
Shower sex happens. It’s not safe. He doesn’t care. He’ll lift someone up like it’s nothing.
LOVES GOING DOWN ON A PARTNER. 69 BABY.
I’ll be honest, I think he’d be sweet though, pretty light hearted, like he’d love to laugh and talk during sex.
Can also go on full Uchiha mode and get rougher and colder too though, if that’s your thing, just know he can do that.
Known to love outdoor sex, has been caught before. Has also been scolded for that.
He’s into threesomes, I do not take criticism. He has two hands.
Oh but he’d love for his partner to wake him up with a blowjob though.
Not great at communication when it comes to sex though, as in he could go overboard without knowing, there’s no safeword and shit…. His partner would have to be careful.
He doesn’t think you guys need one, or just doesn’t know that kind of thing exists, he’d stop if asked to obviously though.
No but he’d be good at light dirty talk and praise AND heavier stuff too. Like you get the whole package. Can get someone off by talking
Strong eye contact with this one too my lovelies.
#kaguya x reader#shisui x reader#kaguya otsutsuki#shisui uchiha#naruto imagines#naruto headcanons#we do not proof read we die like men#i swear those took me forever#i am not dead#i hate those#and also i am not consistent lmao afeazgzgzgrz#my anxiety is writing those tags#It was my oldest request lmao
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Happy Birthday Neil Josten (SN&E)
It’s Neil’s birthday and I want to do something for our boy’s birthday but I can’t be bothered to write another fic (I have two I’m supposed to be working on rn) so take this bullet fic instead
Neil should have known something was up when Andrew told him to sleep in his own room rather than his
Not that he had a problem with it (Andrew was still entitled to his space and all that) but unless it was a particularly bad day, more often than not they shared a bed
but whatever, Neil can handle it even if he has a crappy night’s sleep
The next morning things get really weird
it starts with someone knocking on his door and barging in a few seconds later
He shoots out of bed reaching for the nearest weapon (which happens to be his guitar) when he realizes it’s Matt
Matt with a giant grin on his face and a tray of breakfast food
Neil is certifiably confused but he’s also powerless to resist Matt’s 1000 watt smile and accepts breakfast
It’s the most confusing breakfast he’s had in a while (but also delicious since it had all his favorites)
When Matt takes the tray away Neil thinks the weirdness has to be over
Nope
Allison and Nicky barge in next & demand he gets dressed
Neil is wondering what is going on with his life
They force him into “decent” clothes and proceed to drag him into Allison’s Porsche for a mall trip
Nicky is filming the entire time
And snapchatting
and just generally shoving a camera in Neil’s face every three seconds
Neil would hate it if it didn’t make Nicky smile as wide as Matt
SO they drag him through various stores buying way too much clothing for themselves AND him to the point where they have to hire someone to carry all the bags
Neil feels awful for the poor soul
Finally finally Neil manages to get away and texts Andrew in hopes of figuring out what the hell is going on
Andrew doesn’t reply
Which is weird
Before he can try calling, Nicky an Allison find him and drag him off to lunch in some posh restaurant that gives them weird looks that none of them care about
Allison sidles up to his side and starts making smart remarks about the other patrons while Nicky does his absolute best to make the more conservative read racist and bigoted assholes uncomfortable
It’s the best lunch he’s had in a while
After that they take him back home and Neil starts towards Andrew’s room both in search of the man and to escape whatever weird nonsense has gotten into the foxes
Too bad Dan & Renee are lying in wait for him the moment he walks in the door
They are going to the gym and Neil absolutely has to come
Neil accepts his fate that today is just going to be filled with foxes
But at least he gets an hour on the treadmill
Dan & Renee challenge him on various machines at the gym and even teach him some dance moves when he admits to never using the dance studio at the facility
He thinks he may have to use some of the moves next time Nicky drags him on the dance floor at Edens
Once more he’s taken home and tries for Andrew’s room
He almost makes it to the door when Kevin drags him to his room instead
Kevin shoves Neil’s guitar in his hand and demands they practice their latest project
Neil rolls his eyes but obliges all the same (he’s learned a long time ago that you don’t deny Kevin practice unless you want a hissy fit)
It’s probably the only normal thing about his day
Only... Kevin doesn’t really yell at him
Or like, doesn’t yell at him nearly as much as he normally would
Now Neil is really freaked out
Especially when he lets Neil go after only an hour
Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, he dashes out of the room & to Andrew’s
He knocks but there’s no answer
He checks his phone but there are no calls and no texts
Things have gone from weird to suspicious
Going back downstairs he starts looking for signs that Andrew has been around at all
What he finds instead are Aaron and Seth on the couch playing video games
He’s about to ignore them both when Seth tells him to sit his ass down and join them because they need a third player to help them beat this level
Neil is awful at games so he doesn’t know why they would want him to play
But neither of them are taking a No for an answer even if they look like they rather him not play
Which is why Neil finds himself stuck on the living room couch for about an hour trying to figure out exactly how the controls were supposed to work and really doing more harm than help at this point
Seth eventually gets frustrated and starts showing Neil how to play while Aaron makes smart remarks but heals Neil every time he gets low health
Somehow they end up beating the level
They are about to start another when Renee pops her head in and calls them in for dinner
Neil looks at his phone and sees that its nearly 7 o’clock
Still zero messages from Andrew
before Aaron can walk away Neil stops him and asks if he knows where his twin is at
Aaron gives him a vague shrug and says he’ll show up when he wants to and leaves before Neil can ask just exactly what the fuck that means
Neil walks into the kitchen
Surprise it’s packed full of all the foxes + Wymack and Abby
The table is filled with food & drinks and Neil is ushered to the head of the table while the rest of them fill the seats around him
The night is filled with chatter and laughter as everyone digs into the food and jokes around
Neil’s chest fills with warmth at the sight of his family gathered together safe and happy at his side
But something also feels like it’s missing
He checks his phone but still not a word from Andrew
Excusing himself from his plate, he steps outside into the cool night air and calls Andrew
He picks up on the third ring
“Andrew?“
“Neil.“
His voice sends a shiver down Neil’s spine and he sighs, feeling like something clicked into place
“Where are you?“
“Come back inside“
The line goes dead and Neil spins on his heels racing for the door
When he walks back in the house (more like stumbling really in his haste) he is met by all the foxes standing in the kitchen
The lights are dim & in the center of them is a cake with lit candles bordering the top
But what Neil notices more is that Andrew is the one holding it
Absently he remembers that it’s his birthday today
They sing happy birthday
And Neil is definitely not crying
his eyes just sting a little okay?
definitely not because somehow they made this birthday even better than last year
Nope.
Andrew walks forward and holds out the cake for Neil to blow out the candles
Neil has to keep himself in check from asking yes or no right then and there
He blows them out and the foxes cheer piling on him with hugs and kisses before shoving gift upon gift into his arms
But the best gift is Andrew silently moving to his side after everyone drifts off to enjoy the rest of the night
Their fingers link together despite the room filled with wandering eyes and cameras
Neil squeezes them ever so slightly in thanks
But Andrew isn’t done
He pulls at their joined hands until Neil is standing chest to chest with him and his other goes to its place on the back of his neck
“Yes or no?“
His answer has never changed
It’s the best birthday gift he could have asked for
#sn&e#something nothing & everything#andreil#aftg#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#neil josten#happy birthday neil josten#my writing#my fics#boydsten#boydsten brotp#the foxes#palmetto foxes
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Thanks for tagging me, @thewinterbookqueen! You’re a doll.
1. Favourite flavour of crisps?
Sour cream and onion, hands down. But Cheetos are good as well.
2. Colour of socks you’re wearing now?
Not wearing socks rn!
3. Favourite character?
Pfffffff You can’t make me choose! (But lowkey probs Samirah from Magnus Chase series. She’s got her shit together.)
4. Eye colour?
Dark dark dark brown, it’s like black ‘cept it’s not.
5. Bravest thing you’ve ever done?
Made this goddamn Tumblr account. (Actually just posted about lgbtqia+ support on my Insta and some of my probably homophobic relatives might see it sooooo)
6. Most selfish thing you’ve ever done?
Jeez. Um...I don’t think I’ve really done anything worth mentioning. But sometimes I just kinda ignore my chores so my parents’ll do it. Maybe that? Idk.
7. Have you ever planned murder (but not gone through with it)?
There is a post sitting in my drafts which is basically a list of people I’d like removed from the earth. So kind of.
8. Have you ever punched anyone?
Nope! I’d probably break my hand if I tried, I’m so weak.
9. Do you see shapes in clouds?
Sometimes! But the clouds here in Seattle are always sort of wispy, like hair, so there isn’t much to see.
10. Favourite time of day?
Evening. Before sunset, but not after. When the sky is a million colors, a bleeding sun in the center extending out into a ocean blue sky. When the weather is cool- not too cold, but with no burning sun on your neck. Perhaps a little breeze, just enough to raise the hairs on your arms, but redeemed with the soft warmth from the sun. Long shadows on the ground, distorting this way and that as you move. Glasses clinking and soft laughter of intimate dinner parties, maybe with a movie or music in the background, ignored in favor of your favorite people. Or sitting alone at your desk, typing away furiously with a cup of tea, a plate of cookies and a candle by your side, as the entire world calms down around you. Feeling drowsy and a little goofy in the car as you return from a hectic picnic that lasted all day, eventually falling asleep and waking with a crick in your neck when you arrive at home. Or just sitting out on your patio, watching the world- the leaves as they brown and fall in occasional crinkles, the people walking their dogs, the group of kids ending the day with a final bike ride around the neighborhood, wind whipping through their hair, the lights in houses turning on as families gather around tables for dinner. Evening.
(got a bit poetic there, sorrry!)
11. Most random thing you’ve said in the past week?
‘Don’t mix up the bears!’
...Take a guess.
New Q’s:
If you could have any animal as a pet/ life companion, what would it be?
What kind of person would you fall in love with?
What color are your bed sheets?
You get to study anything you want in college (even made-up or magical things). What will you choose?
TV show that you think everyone should watch?
When listening to music, do you listen for the lyrics, the tune, or what?
Who do you want to meet most (they can be dead, fictional, etc.)?
Are you religious at all?
#1 book you hate?
Who’s your favorite relative?
Food you’re going to miss when you are independent (or, if you’re already independent, which food do you miss?)
‘kay I’m gonna tag- @demi-fool @the-feeling-is-mutual @blondebooklion @that-synth-in-tainted-love @vinyaya-jay @slytherin-in-hufflepuff-robes
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Favorite Mistake
September 12, 2021 | 1:33 AM
We broke up today. God I feel so weird, I hated typing that. I’m so weirdly numb rn, I can’t explain it. I’m drinking a vodka cran rn which is a first for me, but it’s what’s available so I’ll take it. I made it extra strong because it seems like the time calls for it. I kept choking on my tears and stuff on the drive home, and I worked so hard to suppress it.
I feel like these past couple weeks I’ve suppressed my tears and emotions from fully coming out so much that I’ve grown numb and it just feels like something is stuck. Listening to JMSN’s new album right now, Heals Me, because she played it earlier in the car and it sounded nice.
I told her that I made it home as she asked but she hasn’t replied yet...
I hope she’s okay. I know that she’s probably crying or just curled up on her sofa or something, but I still hope she’s okay. I feel like it hasn’t really hit for me. The fact that we broke up. Not that she ever really was (technically), but I don’t think it’s really hit me yet that she’s not mine anymore. That I can’t hold her like I used to. That I can’t call her baby and kiss her like how I want to. That she won’t be my baby anymore. Fuck. I hate this. It’s so unfair. Why can’t it work out somehow. This is such bullshit.
1:41 AM
I haven’t done timestamps in the middle of a post since when I used to do lines, but felt like they were needed here - she just replied. “Yayy” eh? I wonder if she’s just trying to be extra cheery here. Man I’m already tipsy here. I miss her. So damn much. I want to hold her in m
Man I had to compose myself there. I want to hold her. I wish I held onto her longer. I want to have her in my arms. I want to have my face buried in her head. I want to hold her hands while I keep her close. Fuck I miss her.
I had to get some tissues there, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. I hate this so damn much. Why can’t she be mine. Why can’t I have her. Why does it have to be so hard.
It’s so stupid, but I decided I’m going to keep the parking pass thing I got today on my date with her. At least for a little while, I’m going to keep it in my wallet. As a reminder. I still have my photo of her in my wallet. Fuck.
Ah fuck I keep crying. Fuck.
1:49 AM
She replied again! Man I get so happy? Relieved? Whenever I see a text from her. I know I’m going to go to sleep tonight and hope everything was a dream or some shit, but fuck. Why are things so hard.
She sounds so cheery. I hope she’s not just faking it. You know I always told myself that when we break up, I would mourn for myself. For finally being free and all that. But man, I would take all the lows and bad times 10x over if it meant I could keep being with her.
She’s so special. So damn special. What am I supposed to do now, I don’t have much to look forward to anymore lmao.
This JMSN album is good, well certain songs anyways. I have secret garden on for the second time rn. I miss her.
1:53 AM
Well babe, here’s the part of my post that’s for you. You wanted me to send whatever I write to you anyways so you get a whole part. I’m still going to babe you here even though we broke up because I’m writing a letter to you about us, so I feel like I should be allowed to.
I don’t even know what to say or where to start. I feel like I won’t be able to say everything i want, and feel like I’ve already said so much, that I’m a bit lost here. But firstly, and most importantly, I love you. I love you so so much. So damn much.
I’m sorry to have put you through so much this past week in having to make a decision, especially these past months. I know it wasn’t easy, and I thank you so much for sticking it out until now.
I really appreciated my time with you so much, and I’m super grateful for it. I wish I got to do so much more with you but I guess we can always still do that now as friends. I’ll make sure to bring you milk chocolate (I think that’s right?!), and some water lillies on our friend-date.
You brought me so much joy and happiness, and I don’t know what I would have done without you. Especially when the pandemic hit and things were rough at home, seeing you every week single-handedly made me so happy and gave me something to look forward to and be happy about every week. I’m sorry I didn’t make you more food, and I’ll be sure to make it up to you once I get my own place :)
Thank you for putting up with me and my stubbornness all this time, and I’m sorry for making you feel ignored or not heard, and just everything whenever we had our arguments.
I still remember our first date really vividly you know, I remember you walking in with your big old jacket, covered in rain droplets and what not. I remember you taking it off and sitting down, and looking really pretty in the candle light, and your cute ass smile. Looking back on it, I really love and think I’ll always remember that moment.
All the countless dates we had made me so happy each time, and I just loved spending time with you. Even if we weren’t doing anything, I just loved being with you and being able to spend time with you. I’m sorry about all the shitty dates in the car and grocery store constantly, I promise I will make it up to you. Although I did very much enjoy scouring grocery stores with you :)
You’re a beautiful woman, and a fantastic person, with the kindest, purest soul. So I want you to be less harsh and critical of yourself baby, and be nicer to yourself. Treat yourself with the respect and love that you so deserve. Treat yourself to nice things, but also make sure you eat properly, and don’t smoke so much. Make sure to think hard before tattooing yourself, and make smart decisions without just giving into any sort of pressure.
Like I said before, this isn’t a goodbye as far as I’m concerned, but a see you later. Until next time baby, you cute ass birb.
I love you.
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I was tagged by my lovely friend @chloetheexitwounder so now you get to know random shit about me!
Were you named after anyone? Two men; my grandfather Alvin and my great uncle Mario. Hence, Ally Marie. Yep... When was the last time you cried? Friday, maybe more recently, I can’t remember... Do you like your handwriting? Not really, I definitely wish it was neater. I try my best to work on it. I can only have so much patience. I wish I was an organized note-taker but I can only go so fast before losing steam. What’s your favourite lunch meal? I mean, since it’s colder now, I usually get soup from somewhere near my classes. Sometimes a smoothie. Do you have kids? No, no. I still want them but far in the future. If you were a different person, would you be friends with you? I genuinely don’t know. I feel like I’m annoying and as if I can never get any of my words out properly... Do you use sarcasm? I mean, I have a book of “Sarcastic Definitions” so yes. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes Would you bungee jump? I don’t know if I would. I feel like I would agree to it and then get to the actual point of setting up and chicken out. Zip-lining, however. Hell yes. I love that. What’s your favourite cereal? Rice Krispies with bananas, but for something sweeter I’ll go for Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? If they’re my Docs, yes. Do you think you are a strong person? Physically? I was somewhat for a little while. Emotionally? Eh, I'd say stubborn. Mentally? Eh. What’s your favourite ice cream? Ben and Jerry’s Strawberry Cheesecake is my current favorite! What’s the first thing you notice about people? My eyebrows probably, because they’re not drawn-on which people are envious of, but probably my pink hair. Or RBF (yes I have that shut up). What’s your least favourite physical thing about yourself? Where do I begin... What colour pants and shoes are you wearing right now? A tee and leggings, because I’m sitting in bed. What are you listening to right now? Light traffic, give it a second and there will be beeping and probably sirens. Perks of NYC. But I love it. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? I don’t know...green or red because I’m always petty and envious or angry? Favorite smell? Lightly-sweet scents, christmassy scents and candles, (onions being cooked if that’s weird, ignore me), coffee, Amber Blush by Bath and Body Works, Aramis because it reminds me of my dad and Midnight Rose by Lancome. Who was the last person you talked on the phone with? My friend from home, because I miss her. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball! Go Mets! FIGHT ME. Hair colour? Dark brown and bright pink. Eye colour? Hazel Do you wear contacts? Yes, more than my glasses which is probably...bad. Favorite food? Sushi, soup and smoothies recently. Artichokes, chicken. Scary movie or comedy? Eh...I’m picky with my movies. Last movie you watched? Oh my god, I don’t actually know...It’s been forever. What colour shirt are you wearing? Red Summer or winter? WINTER. Again, fight me. Hugs or kisses? I loooooove tight hugs, especially when my anxiety is bad. I just need it to be squeezed away. Book you’re currently reading? Uh. Ok I barely find time to read. But in one of my classes we’re reading parts of a book of essays called This I Believe II which is actually pretty damn good. Who do you miss right now? My pup! I get to see him tomorrow! Oh, and my friends. And some teachers. What’s on your mousepad? Back when I used one, I had a Sims 3 mousepad. I’ve also had an I Love Lucy one. What’s the last TV program you watched? Whose Line is It Anyway What’s the best sound? Violins, jazzy music. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? I don’t listen to either enough to be biased. What’s the furthest you ever travelled? How’s a ten-hour coach bus ride to Montreal, sound? Actually no wait, I went to California by plane. Do you have a special talent? I can play the violin, and I have a wonderful talent of tending to cry in class, even as a grown ass woman in college. Where were you born? Born and bred in New York, bby
Tagging @elissanerdwriter @weaver-of-tales @kaleidoscopegirl and if she ever sees this @margotslytherinwampus (if she doesn’t, I can literally go knock on her door and steal her cat rn).
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ALL THE FALL QUESTIONS (but you can skip the ones someone else asked you if that happens)
omgoodness so many lol
1. pumpkin pie or apple pie? I hate pumpkin and my Grama’s sour cream apple pie is the only apple pie I like!!
2. favourite fall song? idk??? I don’t really have one I don’t think.
3. favourite Halloween song? Again, I don’t really have one.
4. favorite fall drink? Ummm, I pretty much only drink water all the time lol.
5. favourite fall food? The ham and stuffing I get for Thanksgiving! And those Halloween Pillsbury cookies omgggg 😍
6. Favourite Halloween/fall movie? THE HALLOWEENTOWN SERIES, NOBODY TOUCH ME. Ignoring the fact that this is TV not movie related, I also totally don’t re-watch the Charmed Halloween episodes near Halloween 😏 And not gonna lie when I was a kid September was kinda the time I would always start my Charmed whole series re-watch anyway lmao.
7. favourite fall colour? Red and orange with a dash of brown (but not like gross brown)!
8. favourite Halloween candy?I like almost all the chocolate bars except like the coffee one and a few others I can’t think of rn.
9. leggings or jeans? Jeans.
10. favourite fall blogs? I don’t think I follow any strictly fall blogs so idk???
11. 10 mini pumpkins or 1 big pumpkin?This is difficult because we always got two big ones (one for me and one for my sister) but I also think mini pumpkins are cute and always wanted them soooo both??
12. favorite book to read in the fall?If I’m feeling nostalgic I may read one of my old Charmed novels or my Charmed comics but other than that I don’t really have anything I read only at fall.
13. favorite candle scent(s)? Apple is the only one that comes to mind. I’m not huge into candles and I’m really picky with my scents lol.
14. coffee or tea? tbh it’s really neither but I do once in a blue moon drink some chamomile tea so I guess tea.
15. favourite fall activity? I always loved jumping in the leaves as a kid, carving the pumpkins, decorating for Fall as well as Halloween and obviously dressing up for to go trick or treating! Not to mention most of the tv shows come back and there are all the new ones to check out too!
16. caramel apple or candy apple?neither, I dislike apples when they’re not in something.
17. favourite fall outfit?I’m gonna be honest here and say I usually wear shorts all year round when I’m at home. Butttt if I’m going out I guess I’d pick some nice skinny jeans/capris, my emus/boots/running shoes, a light scarf, plaid button down with a tank, my fall jacket or one of my pink sweaters with a tank underneath and no jacket.
18. sweaters or jackets?Both! As long as I can take it off when I’m inside because I’m always hot.
19. mittens or gloves?both!
20. favourite tree?willow trees are cool and the cherry blossom ones but yeah I don’t really think about trees much so idk for fall haha.
21. Halloween or Thanksgiving?Halloween!!!
22. sweet treats or salty treats?Both!
23. what do you have for Thanksgiving?A DELICIOUS HAM (also turkey but I hate turkey and don’t eat that), my coleslaw, Grama’s sour cream apple pie as well as her stuffing, homemade biscuits, caesar salad, sometimes blueberry cheesecake! I don’t like a lot of the traditional “Thanksgiving” food stuff so that’s basically all I care about/know about.
24. corn maze or haunted house? Haunted house!
25. would you have a fall themed wedding?Er no but that’s mostly because I’m never getting married so therefore will never have a wedding lol.
26. traditional jack-o-lanterns or artistic jack-o-lanterns?Mine look like they’ve been butchered lmaaao so traditional I guess. But the fancy ones are cool too I just can’t do them.
27. zombies or vampires?Neither! Because witches are where it’s at.
28. scarves or hats?My first instinct was to say scarves but I’ve gotten into hats recently too so both.
29. do you like baking?Yes!
30. favourite thing about fall?the cool weather, the changing leaves, decorations, Halloween, my Charmed re-watch!
FALL QUESTIONS
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