#I can tell my people I love them and not want think the world will explode

[ginkgooou]

dance lessons | alexia putellas

summary: you and alexia try dancing.

this one took a while; i rewrote it like three times before i was finally happy with it. i'm no expert in dancing, but i tried my best to describe the moves. i hope you enjoy! feel free to send feedback or requests. 😄

english is not my first language.

4,272 words

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you were out with alba, leisurely strolling through the city, when you came across two people handing out flyers. as you were about to walk past, one of them stepped forward, stopping you with a friendly smile.

“hey, do you two want to try a dance class?”, the woman asked you, offering you a flyer.

alba just shook her head. “no, thank you.”

you stopped, intrigued, taking the flyer from her hand and looking over it. it seemed like a fun idea, something you could do with alexia - an opportunity to try something new together.

as you skimmed the paper, the lady explained, “we teach ballroom and latin dances. it's for beginners, so anyone can join. you can sign up online if you're interested. the website's on the flyer.”

you nodded thoughtfully, looking up at her with a small smile. “thank you. i'll think about it.”

with that, you turned to alba, who linked her arm with yours as you walked away. she gave you a knowing look. “you sure ale will do it with you?”

with a smirk, you replied, “i have my ways.”

☆

well, your way was simply signing both you and alexia up for the course without telling her. after three years together, you knew your girlfriend very well and you knew if you'd asked her, she would've immediately said no.

alexia loved her routines, finding comfort in the structure of her days. they gave her a sense of control in a world that often felt too chaotic.

you understood that and respected it, but every now and then, you'd try to pull her out of her comfort zone a little. a new restaurant, an unexpected detour through the city or, when time allowed, a spontaneous road trip - just small things. it was always a struggle to get her to agree to your ideas. alexia could be very stubborn, but you always found a way to persuade her.

you knew that this time would be particularly difficult as it wasn't a one-time thing like usual; the dance course would last over several weeks. you could already picture your girlfriend's grumpy face, insisting she didn't want to go, claiming that she had football and no time for something like this.

but, you'd already made a plan.

first, you decided that instead of ordering in, you'd make dinner. you settled on cooking pasta with the homemade sauce that she liked so much, hoping it would put her in a good mood.

you had just started on the sauce when you heard the soft click of the front door echoing through the apartment. it was quickly followed by the muffled sound of footsteps and the soft thud of alexia's bag being dropped on the floor.

a few moments later, you felt your girlfriend's strong arms wrap around your waist, her familiar warmth bringing a smile to your face. she placed a gentle kiss on your shoulder before resting her head there with a soft sigh.

“hola, mi amor. i missed you.”, she mumbled, her voice tinged with fatigue.

turning your head slightly, you gave her a quick peck on her lips, whispering, “missed you too. how was training?”

“good. lots of things to work on.”, she replied.

as you continued making the sauce, alexia stayed wrapped around you, watching you cook. “ale?”, you said gently.

she hummed in response, letting you know she was listening.

“why don't you go shower? dinner will be ready soon.”

alexia just pressed herself closer, burying her head in your neck, making you chuckle at her clinginess. “baby, come on.”

“vale.”, your girlfriend grumbled, clearly reluctant to let go. with a sigh, she finally released her hold on you and headed upstairs.

while she showered, you finished preparing dinner and began setting the table. you were just plating the food, when you heard alexia coming back downstairs.

you looked up to see your girlfriend padding into the kitchen, her wet hair falling over her shoulders, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants.

“it smells amazing, amor.”, she said, coming over and kissing your cheek. you smiled at her, turning back to the plates. “go sit down. i'll be right over.”

alexia nodded and made her way to the table, taking a seat and pouring two glasses of water.

once you finished plating, you walked over, setting the dishes on the table before sitting down beside her.

both of you eagerly dug in, conversation flowing effortlessly throughout the meal. between bites, alexia recounted her day, telling you about the intense drills, funny moments with her teammates and the interview she had to do while also asking about your day.

once you finished dinner, the conversation and you watched as the tension slowly melted away from her shoulders. her tone became lighter and more relaxed. you knew this was the perfect moment to bring up the dance class.

you glanced at her with a smile. “oh, i forgot to tell you! i was out with alba today. we went for lunch and then just wandered around.”, you began casually. “funny story, actually - we walked past some people handing out flyers.”, you continued, chuckling nervously as you watched your girlfriend closely.

alexia eyed you with suspicion. “what did you do?”, she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“well.”, you started, clearing your throat, “they were promoting their dance classes. i checked out the website - it looks really cool and professional.” you paused, grinning excitedly at alexia, “so, i signed us up for the course! it starts on monday.”

“no.”, your girlfriend said immediately, shaking her head. “no, no, no. we are not doing that.” you laughed at her instant refusal, expecting nothing less.

“come on, ale. it'll be fun.”, you urged, trying to convince her.

“no! i don't have time. i have football.”, alexia argued, crossing her arms defiantly. “sorry, amor, but it's just not happening.”

you sighed, giving her your best puppy dog eyes. “please? for me?”

your girlfriend quickly looked away, knowing she would crumble if she looked at you much longer. “..no.”, she repeated, but her voice lacked the firmness it had before.

sensing she just needed one more little push, you proceeded with part two of your plan.

you scooted back and stood up, alexia's eyes following you as you moved to straddle her lap, your arms wrapping around her shoulders while hers instinctively fell to your hips. she slightly leaned back in her chair, making room for you.

you slowly leaned in, lips nearly touching. “please?”, you asked again, your lips brushing hers.

you could see alexia's resolve wavering and you knew you almost had her. closing the distance between you, you pressed your lips softly against hers. when you pulled away, your girlfriend chased your lips, clearly not ready for the kiss to end yet.

“for me, baby?”, you asked again, a smile forming on your lips.

alexia opened her eyes, gazing up at you. after a few seconds of silence, she sighed dramatically. “i hate you.”

your grin only widened. “so you'll go with me?”

“yes.”, she grumbled, rolling her eyes. “but i don't like it.”

“thank you, thank you, thank you!”, you squealed, showering her face with kisses. your girlfriend tried to keep a straight face, but she couldn't suppress the wide smile spreading on her lips.

☆

it was monday evening, just before 6 pm, and the dance studio was filled with people. you stood near the back, surrounded by couples who were much older than you, their chatter filling the air. shifting nervously, you glanced at the door for what felt like the hundredth time.

alexia was late.

you two had agreed to come here separately, since your girlfriend had a late interview. she had assured you she would make it, but as the clock crept closer to 6, doubt started to creep in.

when it was time for the lesson to start, the two instructors, a woman with a warm smile and a tall man with black hair, stepped forward.

“hello everyone and welcome to the course! i'm isabella and this is my partner, luis.”, the woman said enthusiastically, her voice carrying across the room. “over the next few weeks, we'll be teaching you how to dance.”

you were trying to listen, but your thoughts kept wandering to alexia. as isabella started to explain a bit more about the class, the door suddenly swung open. your girlfriend burst through, slightly out of breath, still wearing her training kit.

“lo siento!”, she called out, blushing as she realized that everyone was looking at her. for a second, she scanned the room, her gaze darting past the curious looks before landing on you.

a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips as your girlfriend hurried over, weaving through the people. when she reached you, she leaned in for a quick kiss. “i'm sorry.”, she whispered apologetically. “i didn't mean to be this late. the interview took longer than expected.”

you smiled at her, shaking your head. “it's fine. you're here now.”

alexia sighed, running a hand through her hair as she looked around, clearly feeling out of place in her kit. “i didn't have time to change.”, she muttered, tugging at the hem of her shirt.

“don't worry about it.”, you said softly, taking her hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

someone clearing their throat beside you interrupted your whispering. you turned to see an older man giving you both a disapproving look. “could you stop talking? we're trying to listen.”, he said, sounding annoyed.

“sorry, we'll stop.”, you quickly apologized, flashing him a polite smile.

though, when you turned to your girlfriend and your eyes met hers, you let out a giggle. alexia couldn't suppress a grin, quietly shushing you and gesturing to the front.

you tuned back in just in time to catch isabella's last words. "so, our first dance will be a slow waltz," she began with a smile. "but before we begin, let's go over the hold."

she turned to luis, who took her hand in his as they stepped into position. he placed his right hand gently on isabella’s shoulder blade, while she rested her left hand on his upper arm. their free hands met between them. “the lead,” he explained, “places his right hand on the follow’s back, just here, and the follow’s left hand goes on the lead’s arm. your other hands meet, like so.” they turned in a circle so everyone could see clearly. they invited you to try it out, moving through the room and giving tips when needed.

“okay! now to the box step. it is really simple.”, isabella said. “the lead steps forward with their left foot. the follow steps back with their right.”

on cue, they moved, their feet sweeping across the floor in perfect synchronization. “step forward,” luis said, narrating his movement, “then side with the right foot, and bring your left foot to your right. then, you’ll step back with the right foot, side with the left, and close the feet again. that completes the box.”

you shifted your weight slightly, looking at alexia, who was staring at the instructors as if this dance was a tactical briefing before a big match. her brow was furrowed in concentration, which made you grin.

after they had showed you the movement a few more times, isabella smiled encouragingly at the class. “now, it’s time for you to try. we’ll walk around and help you.”

you turned to alexia, a playful glint in your eye. “so,” you began, raising an eyebrow, “who’s going to lead?”

your girlfriend chuckled, moving closer with a confident grin. “me, of course.” she tried to get into position, placing her hand on your shoulder blade, but you stepped back, not ready to give up just yet.

“but what if i want to lead?”, you asked hopefully. alexia shook her head. “no, i lead. no arguments.”

you huffed, pouting slightly as you mumbled, “so not fair.”

with a sigh, you finally let her step closer and take hold of you while you rested your hand on her upper arm. you could feel the warmth of her hand against your back, and despite your earlier protest, an excited smile crept on your face. “well, then. lead the way, capitana.”, you told her, laughing as she shot you an annoyed look at the nickname.

as it came to trying the steps, you could feel alexia’s earlier confidence beginning to waver slightly. she bit her lip, glancing down at her feet, and then stepped forward with her left. you weren’t ready yet and stumbled a little as you quickly tried to follow her lead and move backward, but you couldn’t hold your balance and accidentally stepped on her toes.

“oops, sorry!”, you blurted out, pulling back.

alexia just shook her head, a hint of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. “no, it was my fault.”, she said, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. “okay. let’s try again.”

you both repositioned yourselves and tried again. this time, you were ready and as she took a step forward, you moved back with your right foot, staying in the rhythm. alexia was incredibly focused, her brows furrowed in concentration.

“forward, side, close.”, she murmured to herself, following the steps. the determination in her eyes made you smile, but you could also feel the tension in her body. “hey, ale.”, you said softly, catching her attention. when she looked up at you, you continued, “try to relax. this is just for fun.”

your girlfriend took a deep breath, trying to let go of the pressure. “you’re right. just for fun.”, she replied, smiling at you.

after a few minutes, isabella made her way over to you. “good! that’s good.”, she praised, offering a warm smile. “but try not to look down at your feet. keep your eyes on each other or look over the left shoulder.” she gestured for you to step closer together. “you can also move closer together. it will help you feel the movements and make it easier to follow the lead.”

you and alexia nodded, moving closer, and got back into position. your eyes met and a soft smile passed between you. when alexia stepped forward this time, you could feel the shift in her weight, making it easier to anticipate her next move. the closeness made everything smoother, as if you were more in tune with each other.

“that's much better!”, isabella remarked before moving on to help the next couple.

after the first successful attempt, you tried the box step again. but it was alexia who faltered this time, accidentally stepping on your toes. “i'm so sorry.”, she muttered, her cheeks flushing as her gaze shifted over your shoulder, embarrassed. “it's just…”, she trailed off, meeting your eyes for a brief second before quickly looking down at her feet. “it's hard to concentrate with you so close.”, your girlfriend admitted softly, biting her lip.

you smiled at her confession, finding it incredibly endearing that even after all this time, you still had this effect on her. you couldn't help but press a quick kiss to her cheek. “i love you.”, you told her as you pulled away, catching the soft smile that lit up her face.

alexia's hand pressed gently against your back, drawing you closer, her eyes sparkling with affection. “te quiero.”, she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, making your heart flutter.

suddenly, luis’ voice cut through, interrupting the moment between you. “alright, now that everyone's practiced the box step, let's learn the turning box.”, he announced, moving to the front of the room. “isabella and i will demonstrate.”

alexia cleared her throat and let go of you, turning her attention to the instructors.

luis took a moment to position himself with isabella. “the lead steps forward with the left foot, but this time, instead of moving straight, you'll turn slightly to the left.”, he began, showcasing the first move.

“as you step to the side with the right foot, your body should turn about 90° to the left.”, he continued, guiding isabella through the movement. “then, step with the left foot next to the right.”

they showed you the turns a few more times, with isabella also guiding you through the follow's role. as the demonstration concluded, luis turned to you all with a smile. “now it's your turn again.”

you and alexia quickly got back into position. “ready?”, your girlfriend asked, looking at you with a soft smile. “yes”, you answered.

you tried it slowly, wanting to get a feel for the added movement. it worked surprisingly well; you barely had to think about it as alexia confidently led you into the turn.

alexia was focused on the steps, murmuring them quietly under her breath. with each turn, you got more comfortable, feeling more confident in your steps.

encouraged by how well it worked, alexia picked up the pace a little and soon, you were gliding across the floor. just as you executed a smooth turn, you suddenly became aware of another couple moving in the opposite direction.

before you could react, you collided with them - your shoulder bumping into the man's side while alexia accidentally stepped on the woman's toes.

“oh no, sorry!”, alexia exclaimed, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. you, on the other hand, struggled to keep your laughter in as you turned to the couple, who looked just as surprised, but quickly joined you in the laughter. the man shook his head, waving off the mishap with a hrin. “it happens to the best of us.”

once you repositioned yourselves, you began anew, alexia now more aware of her surroundings. but the collision seemed to have made her relax more, smiling slightly while continuing to dance.

when luis approached, he smiled brightly at you. “that's really good!”, he said, nodding with approval. “keep it up!” the praise filled you with confidence and when you looked at alexia, you found her beaming with delight, her eyes sparkling with pride.

after a few more minutes, isabella moved to the sound system and put on music. “now, let's try it with music.”, she said enthusiastically.

as the melody of a slow waltz filled the room, everything changed. the soft notes wrapped around you, making the steps feel more fluid and natural, the rythm guiding your movements. alexia's confidence grew with every turn, leading you through the dance seamlessly.

you spent the remainder of the class learning more about the waltz, with luca and isabella showing you new steps here and there.

as you laid in bed that night, you turned to face her. “so, how did you like the class?”, you asked softly.

alexia shifted slightly, turning her head to meet your gaze in the dark. a small smile tugged at her lips. “i actually liked it.”, she admitted.

you raised an eyebrow, teasing her. “really? that's funny, considering someone didn't want to go at first.”

she chuckled, her hand reaching out to playfully nudge your arm. “yeah, yeah. but, really, it was fun.” her fingers intertwined with yours under the covers.

you grinned, satisfied with her confession. “i told you it would be.”

alexia sighed softly, leaning in to kiss you. “it was only fun because i did it with you.”

you smiled, your heart fluttering at her words. alexia wrapped her arm around your waist and pulled you closer, her warmth lulling you to sleep.

☆

over the next few weeks, you continued going to the dance studio every monday, learning something new each time. throughout the week, you tried to practice as often as you could, but time seemed to always slip away from you.

both of your schedules were packed - alexia busy with training, matches and interviews while you had your own work commitments. it usually ended up with you practicing an hour before having to leave for class. but, despite the lack of practice, you both had improved quite a lot, especially alexia.

you could see your girlfriend's confidence grow with each session, her movements becoming more fluid and graceful. she led you effortlessly through the various dance routines - slow fox, cha-cha and tango - as if she had been dancing for years. she was a natural at this.

at least, that's what it seemed like to you.

one afternoon, you decided to surprise alexia and pick her up from training. you had a free day and since alexia's car was at the mechanic, she needed someone to pick her up.

after parking your car, you made your way over toward the building's entrance. halfway there, the door swung open and the first few girls exited the building. as soon as they spotted you, their faces lit up with excitement, and they rushed over.

“hi! i haven't seen you in sooo long. i've missed you so much.”, claudia said, pulling you into a tight hug.

you smiled warmly, returning the hug. “hey, clau. i missed you, too. work's just been a lot these days.”

after claudia let go, you turned to greet patri and ona with a hug, too. meanwhile, claudia continued talking, “you should visit more often. ale’s so much nicer when you're around.”

you couldn't help but laugh at that, knowing all too well how your girlfriend could get when it came to football. “i'll talk to her.”, you replied with a grin. then, glancing toward the building, you asked, “but speaking of alexia, where is she?”

more players had started to trickle out of the building, but still no sign of your girlfriend. ona was quick to answer your question, “she wanted to do some extra practice. she's still out on the pitch.”

you turned back to the group with a grateful smile. “ah, thank you. i should've known.”, you chuckled. “i guess i'll head in to find her.”

patri grinned, nudging your arm playfully. “you'd better. otherwise, she'll be out there all day.”

you laughed, pulling each of them into a quick hug. “alright, bye guys.”, you said, the three of them echoing your words as you headed toward the building.

inside, you made your way through the familiar hallways, your footsteps quickening as you approached the pitch, the faint sound of voices drifting toward you.

but as you stepped outside, the sight before you made you stop in your tracks.

there was alexia, but instead of practicing football, she was…dancing. and with mapi, of all people. they seemed to be attempting the tango - or at least something that resembled it. your girlfriend was, of course, leading, her movements focused and graceful.

mapi, on the other hand, was clearly less enthusiastic about the whole thing. “why am i doing this? i don't want to do this!”, she complained, barely trying to follow alexia's lead.

your girlfriend, already looking annoyed, sighed in frustration. “you need to be closer. i can't do this if you're standing a mile away from me.”

mapi threw her hands up. “i don't want to be closer, i need my space! i want to be free, not glued to you!”

you stood silently at the edge of the pitch, trying to stifle your laughter as you watched the scene unfold. alexia, determined as always, restarted the routine, but mapi still kept stumbling over the steps. your girlfriend's patience was running thin, the vein on her forehead looking ready to pop.

“come on, mapi. you're not even trying now. is it really so hard to follow a few steps?” her voice rose in frustration. “it's so much easier with ingrid! why do you always have to make everything so difficult!”

“well, i am not ingrid! and i am trying!”, mapi shot back, stamping her foot and refusing to take another step. alexia took a sharp breath, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “dios mio, i've had enough! you are no help.”, she huffed, rolling her eyes. she spun around, ready to storm off the pitch, but then her eyes fell on you.

she froze, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “oh, no.”

you couldn't help the grin that spread across your face as you stepped onto the pitch. “oh, yes.”

alexia blinked, trying to recover. “it's not what it looks like…”

you raised an eyebrow. “it looked like you were trying to dance.”, you teased, coming to a stop in front of her. “so this is what you've been up to?”

alexia blushed, looking everywhere but you, thinking of ways to get out of the situation. “it's just been a few times…”, she mumbled.

but mapi, who clearly had enough, jumped in. “a few times? she's been dragging ingrid into this for weeks! alexia stole my girlfriend - ingrid's always busy with her now. she barely even talks to me at training! and now i had to dance, too.”

you laughed, watching your girlfriend grow more embarrassed by the second. “i see. and you didn't tell me because…?”

alexia ran a hand through her hair, giving you a sheepish smile. “i just… wanted to impress you.”, she murmured quietly.

you chuckled softly, moving closer and cupping her cheek. “you're so silly, my love.”

your girlfriend wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “i'm sorry?”, she said with a crooked smile.

shaking your head, you leaned in to kiss her again, only to be interrupted by loud gagging coming from mapi. “ugh, can you not? this is torture.”

you both laughed, breaking apart as alexia turned to her best friend. “you're one to talk. and just so you know, i'll never dance with you again.”

at that, mapi began to laugh happily. “thank god!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

[innerfare]

Sabo’s Type 

Summary: A collection of random headcanons describing Sabo's type

Genre: Angst

CW: None // SFW

———

Sabo is such a show off, it’s no joke. It’s for this reason he has such a thing for a damsel in distress. He really enjoys the opportunity to flex his powers. (Flashback to Dressrosa arc and him swooping in to rescue Rebecca but leaving poor Bartolomeo lmao.) But he likes it even more if showing off doesn’t work, since it works on basically everyone else. 

Someone who is unimpressed, or at least initially hides it from him. Sabo lives for a challenge. While he loves it when people fawn over him, he’ll become a little obsessed with someone who shrugs at his dragon claw and fire fruit ability, who brushes off his pretty face and muscular body, who doesn’t care that he’s the second in command of the Revolutionary Army and is going to tell him exactly what they think of him.  

Someone with a voice like honey that makes him want to kick his habit of hanging up the transponder snail in the middle of the call and instead stay on the other line for hours listening to them talk about nothing. 

Someone powerful. Someone who can not only hold their own in battle so he doesn’t have to constantly worry about them but also someone who can spar with him. Someone who has undergone rigorous martial arts training and insists their style is more powerful than his dragon claw. Someone who triggers his competitive side. 

Someone who will make fun of him, even going so far as to poke fun of his heritage (without going too far). The odd joke about Sabo being a pampered aristocrat will get his blood boiling. He’s the type to ignore all the people fawning over him and go straight for the person who seems uninterested (side note: Sabo does not respect the ring; if you’re married and he wants you, he’s going for you). 

Someone with as much a reason to hate the World Government as he does, perhaps even more of a reason. Someone who wants to see the world burn. But also someone who starts out as his enemy, so maybe a marine or member of Cipher Pol with a traumatic backstory working as a double agent for the Revolutionary Army. 

Someone who likes his scars. He’s come to view them as a symbol of his failure to escape Goa on his own, and even as a symbol of the reason he couldn’t be there for his found family, so he doesn’t feel proud of them the way a warrior should. But if you’re proud of them, if you run your fingers over them, he’ll grin like a fool. 

Someone who is well read and a good enough writer to read his manuscript and offer feedback, someone who can edit some of the pages and offer him some direction when he’s not sure which direction to go in. Someone who agrees with his point of view on the subject matter (typically the corruption of the World Government) and can aid him in getting that across. 

Someone who makes him feel safe enough to ask for affection. Sabo isn’t really used to positive reinforcement. Though he received some once he joined the Army, a rough childhood without a drop of real softness has left him a little thirsty for someone to run their fingers through his hair while he vents about everything wrong in the world. 

Low-key has mommy issues, craves a woman who will make him food, take a bath with him, and tuck him into bed. Refuses to admit it, though. This folds into him craving a more feminine partner because he's been surrounded by so much roughness. One of his guilty pleasures is definitely crushing on the young noble women he's supposed to be usurping.

Someone who doesn’t hesitate to make his family their own, who falls right into the ranks of the Revolutionary Army and makes themselves at home with the Straw Hats (I think it goes without saying Sabo's SO has to have Luffy's stamp of approval). 

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[jeonginsleftcheek]

The sun to me

Chapter IV. The sprout.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x afab!reader

word count: 3.5k

chapter summary: between the gentle stillness of the flowers, a seed is planted to make love grow.

warnings: hyunjin's parents are shitty people here

~ Masterlist for the series

~ next part

💜 Petunia - wanting the comfort of another person (a token of kindness to new neighbors or friends).

Hyunjin awakens even earlier than the sun that morning, quickly getting ready to leave the house before anything can disturb the comforting silence dancing around him.

He takes his camera and stands in front of his suitcase, the only things he didn't unpack are the tools he needs for painting.

He sighs, grabbing a sketchbook, his pencil case and his paintbrushes with only a few colors he'd need to paint the sunrise on a beach.

He stuffs everything in his backpack and makes his way downstairs as quietly as he could, the creaky stairs making it difficult to be invisible.

After breakfast and a good dose of caffeine, Hyunjin makes his way out of Isaac's house.

The sun isn't even properly out yet and it's eerily quiet around him, even more so than it was when he'd first arrived to the island. Usually, he would drown out the silence with music in his ears, but for some reason he feels that any kind of sound right now would disturb the whole world order.

He's even trying to walk as quietly as he can, like a cat stalking the street, not making a sound.

As he arrives closer to the pier, a figure appears scrunched over and sitting down, turned towards the sea. He can't see much of the person, just that they are buff and wearing a black windbreaker jacket, the hood pulled up over their head.

As he walks slowly towards them, in the slight darkness, he makes out that the person is fishing.

They roll their shoulders slowly for a moment before the fishing rod gets tugged on and the man grips the reel handle, fighting with the creature on the other side.

He manages to reel it in just as Hyunjin approaches him, watching in awe as the man takes out a fish and it lands on the ground with a splat, scaring Hyunjin as it wiggles around, hitting the floor with its tail in a desperate attempt to breathe.

The man mutters something before grabbing it and looking up at Hyunjin, letting out a hearty laugh.

"Careful, it bites!"- he jokes, waving the fish towards Hyunjin making him jolt again before he throws it into a bucket.

"Sorry, didn't mean to disturb you."- Hyunjin clears his throat as he speaks for the first time that morning. Feeling awkward, he decides it's best to leave the strange man alone.

Before he's able to walk away, the man's voice stops him.

"You're that boy staying at Isaac's house?"- he asks.

Hyunjin turns and looks at the man, who has now pulled down his hood, revealing luscious black hair, making him look ten years younger than when only his worn out face was visible.

"Yes."- Hyunjin nods.

"Name's Delmar. Tell Isaac I have some catch for him. And if he or you for that matter wanna join me in my fishing adventures, you're more than welcome to."- the man smiles kindly, putting Hyunjin at ease after the whole fish in the face ordeal.

"Sure, I'll let you know."

"What's your name, kid?"

"Hyunjin."

"Nice to meet you, Hyunjin. Make sure you take some pretty pictures of our little island."- Delmar winks, pointing at the camera resting on Hyunjin's chest.

He promises to do so before bidding his goodbye to Delmar.

Hyunjin walks away towards the little forest you took him through, the sun starting to peak between the leaves of low bushes.

He shakes his head, thinking about the somewhat strange man he just met on the pier.

Lost in his thoughts, he arrives to the hidden cove before he knows it, almost like he got transported there.

He strolls on the beach before finding a nice spot as the sun keeps rising in the sky, slowly waking everything up, bathing it in it's glow.

He takes a few pictures for good measure before willing himself to take his sketchbook out.

He sits down, pencil in hand as he listens to the waves and his own breathing, quiet and slow, a contrast to the waves crashing on the rocks near him.

Hyunjin starts to sketch and remembers.

"Let's see."- his mother hovers above him, as he lowers his hand from the easel, still clutching onto the paintbrush dipped in red.

"Is it okay now?"- he asks in a small voice, tear stains on his puffy cheeks.

"No, it is not! You think this crap will get you into the academy? That's laughable. Can you do one thing right? Are you even my son? I swear it's like I found you on the fucking street or something. Start again."- his mother's voice is low but dripping with venom as she takes another sip of her martini, and Hyunjin hiccups as she throws the canvas to the floor.

"You're not getting up until you do it right even if it takes you all night."

Hyunjin remembers painting all night with eyes blurry from his tears, a constant onslaught of salty water dripping down his cheeks and into his lap, mixing with the paints he held in his hand, transferred onto the canvas his heart bled on.

He remembers wanting nothing but her comfort and warmth, but her hands were always cold, her veins must've had ice in them, freezing her all the way to her heart.

He remembers his mother picking apart every little detail of every painting he ever made, driving him away from her so far that when he grew up, he screamed at her and told her never to come to his gallery.

She cried, but he felt nothing. Just like she didn't feel anything when she stood above him and tortured him for hours, days, years, almost making him hate the one thing he found love in.

The paintings he made furtively were the only thing helping him cope with her wrath and his father's disinterest, the flowers he painted, the ones that were so delicate and gentle, so quiet and peaceful, so pretty and intoxicating, so easy to love.

The flowers you nurtured with your hands and your chest so devotedly that the roots have intertwined with your very heart so much so that it became a beating, live flower.

Hyunjin finds it hard to breathe suddenly, like that fish on the ground, grasping for air and feeling foreign, suffocated and panicked. He grips the pencil, a tear sliding down his cheek and smearing the wave he was sketching a moment ago.

He closes the sketchbook with a thud and gets up quickly, shaking the sand off his jeans and packing his painting stuff away before he makes his way back from the cove, and away from the bad memories threatening to spill from his eyes.

It might be weird to someone who watches from the side, but every time you water your potted plants around the house, you caress their little leaves.

You think they can feel the care and love coming from your heart and traveling through your fingers as you gently brush them against the plant.

You think they grow better if they feel a gentle touch. Maybe you can't embrace them like you would a person, but just a little brush of the fingertips translates to the same thing when it comes to something as delicate as flowers.

A knock sounds on your door and you snap out of your thoughts, a smile forming on your face because you know who it is.

You straighten your dress and check yourself in the mirror for a second before you make your way to the door and open it with an excited swing.

Hyunjin stands there, his head lifting up from staring at his feet as he clutches his backpack and smiles warmly at you.

"Good morning."- he says.

"Morning."- you answer, entranced by the way his eyes roam around your face shamelessly, curiously, genuinely like he's trying to rememeber every little detail that makes up the beautiful you.

"Are you gonna let me in?"- Hyunjin smiles playfully with a rise of his brows and your face warms up in embarassment.

"Right. Sorry."- you chuckle awkwardly and step aside so he can come in.

Hyunjin looks around, your house is just what he thought it would be, bright with pastel yellow details and walls, potted plants everywhere, little ceramic trinkets and of course paintings of flowers on the wall.

It's warm and cozy, smells like flowers and home, sweet and loving just like you are in his eyes.

Hyunjin finds himself inhaling deeply, and finally being able to take a proper breath in, his lungs expanding and freeing him from the suffocating feeling that thinking about his family brought him.

"Do you want some coffee or tea?"- you ask as he follows you to the kitchen and sets his backpack on a chair.

"Coffee would be fine, thank you."

"Sit, please. Relax."- you chuckle at him as he stands next to your table awkwardly.

"Sure."- Hyunjin nods, sitting down and leaning his head on his hand.

"Did you paint these?"- he asks and you turn around to follow his eyes, which were glued to the paintings hung on your wall.

"Yeah, I did, a few years ago."- you nod.

"I didn't know you were a painter too."- Hyunjin chuckles, his knuckles rasping against your wooden table.

"I'm not."- you wave your hand as if to dismiss him. "Not like you. I mostly sketch as you saw."- you add.

"Can I see more?"- Hyunjin feels excited suddenly.

Looking into an artist's sketchbook is like taking a peak into their mind and soul, it's like reading their thoughts but not through words, only through the movement of their pencil against the paper.

"Ugh, sure."- you bite on your lip, hoping you have some sketchbook without the diary parts in it. You don't want Hyunjin to read your embarassing and dark thoughts.

You rummage through one of your shelves and find an older one, maybe from three to four years ago and give it to him, before going back to preparing the coffee for the both of you.

Hyunjin feels like a kid unwraping a present on Christmas as he opens up your sketchbook.

The paper is older and looks recycled, feels good under his fingers and probably even better under a pencil.

He brushes his fingertips against it as he looks at your sketches.

It's mostly different types of flowers, some still life and hands. You seemed to practice drawing hands a lot. Hyunjin wonders about it.

"You like drawing hands? That's like the hardest."- Hyunjin says as you bring the coffee cups to the table and sit down.

"Oh."- you blush, forgetting about that part of the sketchbook. "It's my mother's hands."- you add and flip a few pages to show him the slow deterioration you captured in your sketches, how her hands went from young and soft to bony and thin, skin shriveled up and veins visible.

"Her hands were her most important tools. I just... I wanted to capture them in drawings."

"I understand."- Hyunjin nods. "These are really good sketches, y/n."

"Thanks."- you chuckle, picking up your cup.

After taking a sip of coffee, you look back at the sketchbook.

"She really loved flowers."

"More than you do?"- Hyunjin smiles as he looks up at you.

"Probably. She loved them more than she loved me."

Something pierces through Hyunjin's heart.

He knows how you feel as you smile sadly, his mother was probably even worse than yours, she never once said she loved him in his entire life.

Not once.

Hyunjin swallows the lump in his throat and you notice he's struggling with something.

"You okay?"- you ask, tilting your head at him. "Is my coffee that bad?"- you try to lighten the mood.

"No, no."- he chuckles. "Coffee is delicious, I was just lost in thought for a moment."

You nod, deciding to not pry anymore.

"Did you go somewhere this morning?"- you ask, pointing to his backpack.

"Oh, I did actually. I went to that hidden cove you showed me. I wanted to try and sketch. I- ugh- didn't manage to do much but I did meet Delmar."

"Ah, you met Delmar."- you snicker.

"He scared me with a fish."- Hyunjin says, shaking his head left and right dramatically.

You laugh a little, your hand coming up to cover your lips.

"Delmar jokes around a lot like that. But he's a harmless dude."- you say.

"Glad to know that because I was actually scared for a moment."

You chuckle again and Hyunjin feigns offence.

"Sorry, it's just that Delmar would never even step on a bug. He laughs all the time, there's no one chirpier than him. Well, except maybe Barbara."

"Barbara?"

"Oh yeah, she's the resident cat lady. She somehow knew about you coming here."- you purse your lips, tapping your chin with your finger.

"She did?"- Hyunjin's brows furrow. "Hm."

He may need to talk to Charlie about that.

The thought of his manager and the life waiting for him outside the island feels bitter on his tongue, even more bitter than the coffee he loves.

The bitterness wraps around his heart and squeezes.

"So, it would be fine to go fishing with Delmar sometime?"- Hyunjin asks after shaking his thoughts away.

"Definitely."- you nod. "You wanna come see my garden now?"- you ask after a moment of silence.

"Yes!"- Hyunjin nods excitedly and you stand up, leading him through the back door.

He doesn't know what exactly to expect when it comes to your garden, but the beauty of it still takes his breath away.

Hyunjin can see that every plant is so carefully planted in their designated spot, probably even sorted by species or something, he's not as good as you are with understanding all the different types of flowers but he can see that you put in all your effort and love.

He's speechless for a moment, the luscious garden gives a soothing feeling to his soul and a longing blooms inside his chest, a longing to be touched by hands as kind as yours.

"Can I take pictures?"- Hyunjin asks, almost breathless and you let out a delighted giggle, throwing your head back for a moment.

"Take as many as you want."- you nod and he quickly runs back into your house to grab his camera.

You watch as Hyunjin takes pictures, his face mesmerized, eyes sparkling and lips pulled into a small sweet smile.

His rosy cheeks make him look even more endearing, surrounded by all the flowers you helped grow makes your heart swell so much so that you want to reach out and wrap your arms around Hyunjin, hold him dear to your heart.

You've never felt something like that hit you so hard and sudden, usually it was gradual and slow, usually you thought with your mind not with your heart, especially when you liked someone. You would calculate the positives and negatives, you would pick the person apart, pick yourself apart in little details until every little thing looked like a negative, ultimately making you give up.

But as Hyunjin turns towards you and smiles wide, something pulls you in, and you can't even get yourself to form a single thought except the word happy.

"Y/n?"- Hyunjin is suddenly closer to you, waving his hand in front of your eyes.

"Ugh- yes?"- you chuckle a little, snapping out of your trance.

"You said you wanted us to plant something together?"- he asks curiously.

"Oh right, I thought you could help me out with my petunias and maybe learn a thing or two. You know, physically working when your mind is stuck can help get the creative juices flowing again. At least it's like that for me."- you say, leading Hyunjin towards an empty spot in your garden.

"I do agree with that."- he nods. "Though, I go to the gym when I feel stuck. I may even be beyond stuck now cause working out didn't help."- he chuckles awkwardly.

"Don't think about it too much. Let's just get to work."- you smile and Hyunjin smiles back as you give him a pair of gardening gloves.

"Alright, what's first?"- he asks.

"Have you ever done any gardening?"

"Never in my life."- he shakes his head.

"Okay so, first thing's first, you have to know a little bit about the flowers you're going to plant. I chose petunias because now is the perfect weather for them, there's enough daily sunlight and also because they're easy to care for, perfect for beginners. They will bloom soon when the summer comes too."- you explain and Hyunjin listens, all the while nodding his head, his brows furrowed in concentration.

"There are different types of petunias too. The ones I chose are floribunda petunias. They're a hybrid of two other types and I chose them because they make excellent cut flowers due to their large blooms and long stems. So, I can use them in my flower shop too!"- you finish with a wide smile and an excited clap.

"That is a lot of information but I'm happy you shared all that with me."- Hyunjin chuckles and you smirk.

"There will be a test later."- you wave your finger at him and he laughs.

"Okay now. The next important thing is to choose the location, which I already did. Petunias need at least six hours of direct sunlight during the day, so I chose this spot where we're standing right now."

"Okay."- Hyunjin nods, looking around. "What do we do first?"- he asks and you chuckle at his eagerness.

"We need to prepare the soil with compost so we can improve the soil's fertility and drainage."- you say and Hyunjin nods again, looking a little lost which in turn makes him look even more adorable.

The two of you get to work, your hands on autopilot as you've done this a hundred times now, watched your mother do it even more times. Hyunjin is a quick learner, starting off too excitedly so you had to calm him down and remind him to be gentle and slow.

It was like a meditative state to be in, the two of you working in silence, close to the earth as both of you kneel, hands deep in the soil.

The sound of the birds singing in the trees makes the experience even richer, as Hyunjin slowly starts forgetting the scary world around him and the sad world inside him, concentrating only on this little pocket in space and time where the only things that exist are the earth and you.

"Now we plant the petunias."- you say.

"How do we plant them?"- Hyunjin asks, sitting back on his legs.

"We need to dig a hole that's slightly larger than the plant's root ball, place the petunia in the hole and then backfill it with soil. We also can't have any air pockets so we'll have to gently press the soil down to avoid them forming."- you show the movement to him. "Also we need to give them at least 30 cm apart so they can have proper airflow and grow."

"Okay, I think I get it."- Hyunjin nods. "I wouldn't want to accidentally hurt the flower."

"You won't, trust me."- you chuckle a little.

You get to work again, Hyunjin being a little clumsy at first, before he manages to follow your lead, his eyes carefully observing your working hands.

He repeats the motions, and you notice his intense stare, his plump lips parted, his eyes narrowed. Suddenly, the air shifts and it feels almost erotic to work in your garden with Hyunjin.

A spark of lightning shoots through your body at the thought of his hands on your skin like that, to feel the touch you've longed for, for what feels like forever.

You scold yourself for such thoughts, brushing them off, burying them into the earth beneath you as you continue to work.

It takes some time but you both manage to finish the planting process together, your souls feel full of wonder and something intangible that's now woven between the two of you, almost invisible but intricate like a spider's web.

"Wow, we did that."- Hyunjin says after the two of you stand up and you watch him water the petunias.

"We did."- you nod chuckling.

"It feels really good."- he chuckles too, both of you looking at each other with big smiles on your faces.

"Mhm, it does."- you find yourself almost falling into him. If anyone looked at the two of you from outside, they would call you lovers.

"Does it feel like this every time?"

"Every time is different. I've never done this with another person except my mother."- you say as you brush your dress off.

"Oh, I should feel honored then."- Hyunjin giggles sweetly, the sound falling perfectly between the colorful flowers adorning your lovely garden.

You don't think your heart has felt this full in a long time and if you said that to Hyunjin now, he would agree.

"I can't wait to see them blossom fully."- Hyunjin smiles.

"Me too. Maybe you could paint them then."- you smile back at him.

He agrees, thinking that maybe by the time the petunias fully grow into their shape, Hyunjin's hands will be untied of the burden he feels every time he holds a paintbrush between his fingertips.

✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny @porangporangmeong @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @laughatdanger @lixies-favorite-cookie @linavc @quokkacidal @thisaintredwine @m00gyu @yaorzu-blog @skzfelixlove @tajannah-price1 @puccaaak @aft2rsexs @xxkissesforchanniexx @aprilmaejune77 @lilmeowneow @stayjinnie @astrobebba @danihwang882 @kaysungshine @nchhuhi @1810cl @chartrucewhore @babigriin @jisuperboard @alisonyus @minluvly @instantsoulnight @kkamismom12 @its-stayville-forever

[sirenmoontarot]

Shadow reading 🪞🥀🌑

What shadow aspect is affecting your life that you need to be aware of?

Hi! I am Alla, and today i pulled some ancient treasures from my hidden chest. Let’s see what the Oracles have to tell you! 🌊🐚🔮🌑

𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈

1. Bracelet

NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT PATTERN

For those who picked this group, you guys might often get stuck in a negative reinforcement pattern; it may be in one aspect of your life or to your life in general. The reality is that you are doing what you are doing, not because you really want to do it but to avoid something that you don't want. Instead of doing what you are doing to get something that you DO want, you are more motivated by negative stimuli such as fear and insecurities to do what you are currently doing than by a goal or actual aspiration. This can also lead you to feel lost in life and make you seem like you are just running away from things without a clear compass north of having a firm grasp of what you want, being that the reason for what you do. This can also lead you to resentment and unfulfillment in your life.. For people in this group, the advice is to be less fearful and insecure and instead ask yourself what you really want to do.

2. Blue and white seashell

AUTHENTICITY

For the people that have chosen this group, the shadow and karmic aspect you need to work on is authenticity. You are not being authentic with who you are, nor are you being honest about yourself with anyone. Each person comes with a unique essence, like an energetic signature, and our unique purpose, thoughts, feelings, unique desires, needs, and role within the greater universe are embedded in that essence. Growing up we are made to believe that if we are certain way, we will be punished, and therefore it sends a message to our unconscious that showing the truth of ourselves is unsafe. That we have to mold ourselves in order to be acceptable and therefore, loved. Anything that is rejected becomes something we are vulnerable about, and then we become split, and hide those parts. We can only be authentic to the degree that we know ourselves, for this reason, it is important to look inside of yourself. Aunthenticity is when your inside matches your outside. It is the conscious mending of the incoherences and incongruences between your inner self and outer self; what you do and project to the world. You have to face yourself, the shame you feel about your vulnerabilities because you can only make a change to what is real. Unless you know and admit to what you really think, feel, and want to do, you are in an illusion, and you can't get anywhere. It is like building a castle in the air, it will crumble. What do you really think, feel, need, and want to do? What is real?

3. Pearlescent box

YOU DON'T KNOW BUT YOU THINK YOU KNOW

For the people who chose this pile, you guys often fall in this shadow aspect of thinking and believing you know the truth about a situation, what is going on in your life, but in reality, you don't know. The truth is far behind from what you are interpreting it. Or it can happen because you miss an important piece of information that can make you misinterpret a situation. It can make us misguide ourselves, making our lives harder. In this case is important that you allow some outside input, and not create barriers with others in order to listen to them, despite that sometimes we think we may have more knowledge than others, more experience, and its legit! But for you guys, sometimes you fall in this psychic trap that makes you stuck, and misjuding situations. And the truth is that, the reality might actually be better than you expect! To heal this, you need to accept that you are having a subjective view, thinking it is an objective one. You need to allow yourself to consider other people's perspectives, or other ways to approach the situation to enrich your view and actually see the reality of the matter, which is not what you are thinking, or telling yourself it is.

4. Greenish seashell

THE FAULTY COMPASS

For the people that chose this group, what you need to see is that sometimes, your emotions, instead of serving as an accurate guide--an inner compass pointing towards north— they mislead you. You might think they are a real perception of reality, of your truth, but in reality they are not. You might even confuse them with intuition, a gut feeling... Due to past experiences, your inner compass has been distorted and messed up, due to many reasons; thoughts passed on to us, information we are fed, beliefs we are conditioned to adopt, experiences we lived and the meaning we assigned to those experiences... Sometimes when all that emotion overwhelms you about a situation, it most likely is the faulty compass at work. It is important you get in contact with yourself again, with your personal truth, and with your emotions, to understand the why of those emotions to find alignment again and follow your internal guidance system, that will accurately lead you to happiness and fulfillment.

5. Silver hand mirror

THE FILTER

For you guys, you tend to see everything with a negative, detrimental or limiting filter. This can happen to certain situations in life or is it a general habit you have. This filter it is something that distorts your ability to see the truth, what is real about a situation. This can happen due to past experiences that condition and shape the way we see and live life. This can happen about anything, in jobs, relationships, etc. There can be beneficial or detrimental filters, but what we should know about them is that they make you believe your subjective perspective is an objective perspective of the situation. To avoid this, when you find yourself with the lens of this detrimental filter, you can understand why and how this filter appeared, and consider every other perspective of the situations at hand to get a more objective truth, and therefore make better decisions.

6. Seashell brooch

SELF H4RM

For you guys, who chose this pile, the shadow aspect that you need to be aware of, is how you engage in self-h4rm in many forms and multiple ways in your life. You might be used to being very harsh on yourself, not allowing yourself to be happy, to give you, or even feel deserving of what you want. You might think that by punishing yourself you will never do the same mistake again, or that you can do penance and be more likely to restore a sense of your goodness. If we grew up in antagonized households, we often learned negative mechanisms to cope with those situations that your child self didn't have the ways to properly handle. We maybe blamed yourself for what wasn't your fault just to avoid feeling powerless or like a victim , or to stay close and feel connected and loved by the person who hurt you. Or we may also be even making choices that harm us in favor of other people's best interests. If you chose this pile, be more aware of the ways you harm yourself, and ask yourself the question ''What would someone who loves themselves do?''

𓇬 𓇬 𓇬

Thank you so much for reading 🤍 wishing you love, and lots of blessings 💖🌌

🔮 Visit my shop to get a detailed reading, and more services!

Alla 𓇬 @sirenmoontarot

Beautiful pngs from @saizun

[adimouze]

For u oomfie hand in rotten hand (it keeps growing I want more soft maxiel I will write it for all our needs)

--

He doesn't take the jet there. He thought about it. Doesn't want people - his people even, to know. To think they can stop him. He doesn't even text Daniel.

They talked before his flight, although Daniel doesn't know Max was leaving. Was landing. Max remembers saying something about sim work, words about the race half swallowed in embarrassment, in excitement. He remembers the soft smile - indulgent even, that Daniel kept throughout. You’ll win, he said and Max doesn't want to correct him.

He would. Could have. Still can – but Max does not want to. Or rather, he thinks – he wants, for himself, for the first time.

He wonders if Daniel has found peace now. Does it have Max’s name on it? Does it make a place for him? Max rubs sweaty palms into his jeans. Refuses the offer from the stewardess to have more to drink. Screws the cap on further against his brow just in case someone recognises him even when they boarded at 2am.

The gin doesn't taste as nice as in his own jet. He sweats more. Sleeps through a guy snoring even with the space between them in first class. He sleeps an hour, two. There are eighteen more to go.

Max watches the plane travel across the world on the screen instead. His heart doesn't stutter when it glances near Abu Dhabi. It flutters when they cross Hong Kong, aches as they cross the ocean and the Australian coast appears in the corner like the DVD logo of Max's childhood.

Words spill behind his tongue. Daniel’s name too. He rehearses what he wants to say. Mimes the words as the figure plane follows the dotted line. It doesn't get easier.

He turns airplane mode off when they land. It blows up with notifications. GP, Rupert – Christian emailed a schedule. He starts the sim session tomorrow. Today, in fact.

Max may already be late. He scrolls past them. Marks them muted. Crosses into Australian land and hot tarmac. It doesn't quite smell like the Melbourne track.

Daniel sent him memes in the last few hours. Before he started feeding the animals. Max has learnt and memorised their names. Even Maximilian the calf. It still makes Daniel snort when he says it - says the baby cow stares at him as much as Max does. Hence the name, Maxy.

Asks Max ten times if he gets the joke - Max, Max Emilian, Maximilian. Max nods, laughs anyway, as it makes Daniel laugh harder. Tells him his joke is silly, and Daniel replies he spent an hour thinking of the name thank you Max. Rambles about how he thought about it as baby cow not Max was being licked by his mother, calf hair sticking up everywhere just like my Max after a race.

Daniel doesn’t say anything when Max chokes on his water, when he breathes too loud. Chokes on Daniel’s name. Tries to find a joke about his hair and the baby calf. Doesn’t come up with one. Daniel smiles, pleased thing Max screenshots with clumsy fingers. It’s blurry. Max sets it as Daniel’s profile picture everywhere. Sends it to Victoria unprompted and gets a heart and a thumbs up from her.

Sends it to team redline. Mutes Luke’s dms for an hour or two after.

Max thinks he stares morethan Maximillian the baby calf anyway. Loves Daniel more than the baby cow. Wants the way Daniel smiles softly at it, the cooing in his voice making Max’s stomach tighten with need. The baby cow doesn't realise how lucky it is, to get Daniel’s affection so freely. Max will be there soon.

Max wants to beg Daniel to give it to him too.

Two more memes. He likes them all, even if Lando sent them to him two weeks ago, when they first appeared on TikTok. It’s cute. Max can't wait to watch them and hear Daniel laugh as he does so - always.

Daniel also keeps sending this guy - burly, hairy - working on a farm. Max always gnaws at his lips so he doesn't ask Daniel if he would like Max that way. Would Daniel be ok if Max burns under the sun instead, that his hair is blonde everywhere and will not be as dark as the TikTok man’s. He can get burly, he thinks — but Daniel will need to let him race with the team online, in exchange.

He knows there is a spare room, in Daniel's farmhouse. Max thinks he can fix his set up there. Can buy a new one. He already knows the ridiculous shipping fees, and has it on back order anyway. Can get Daniel to play with him maybe. He knows Daniel will say yes. Even if Daniel sucks at FIFA. Max tells him whenever he can.

--

My oomfie here writes the best fics btw!!!! This healed me!!!!!

[kingofbodyrolls]

For this rainbow, I finally picked up my professional camera again. The last images stored there tells me that the last time I used it was the 1st of December 2023. Wild. But I picked it up thanks to this pretty rainbow, which was actually a double rainbow. So pretty. This image is made up of three into a panorama shot, and Lightroom was a bit funky with putting them together, so please don't mind the badly processed house in the middle; no, we're not looking at that 😂

For people who want a wall of text status update, it's under the cut.

How are you all doing? I'm hanging in there. Not active much, but I still haven't gotten myself into deleting my tumblr app. So I still see and get all your notifs, even if I don't reply right away! I'm still taking time off, trying to figure out what I want to do with the blog for the future... I have not written a fanfic in some time now, but I have two finished stories that are ready to be published, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure about a lot of things these days... I've had dark days, written a lot of sad and dark poems (that will go on my sub blog some time in the future), and I've begun to write an original story. It's really fun; about magic, witches and mages; about good and evil and all the gray in between. It will probably bore you, but it's fun to write, even though I don't think anyone would read it except for a few friends (even though this thing might be the longest thing I'll write, turning into either two or three books lol).

Serotonin boost I get happy when I get notifs with comments and/or reblogs of my stories; it really touches my heart. To be honest, this is why I left/taking time off. I've always felt that interaction was low, and my stupid brain will not let me stop comparing myself to others, so it slowly killed my drive for writing and posting. If no one interacts, what's the point of posting? If no one interacts, what's the point of writing? But I love writing, and it's one of my creative outlets, so I couldn't let that go completely, hence I started writing original stories instead; no ones gonna read them anyway, but I can still play with characters, world building and storytelling. Those are the things I loved about fanfics---and I still do, don't get me wrong. But I feel so discouraged being on here. But I'm happy to know that a few people still care.

The Downfall This also made it quite hard for me to read; because I felt so unmotivated... I haven't read much this month at all. I tried to read a fanfic this Monday, didn't finish it and haven't picked it up since. Honestly, I've just been watching documentaries because I'm in a (tumblr) slump. I feel drained though; I feel like I've given so much, and I love it. I love making people happy, leaving lovely reviews, and it's as much for myself as it is for making another person happy---but to be honest, it has drained me. I know I shouldn't ask for anything in return, but I feel imbalanced. Like I'm not being filled with much love, if that makes sense? I don't really feel appreciated, but don't get me wrong, I don't feel hated (yeah, I'm so good at being black and white), sorry---I know I sound very pessimistic. But you guess have always been so kind to me, and I love you a lot, and I have a few super lovely mutuals and friends that are lovely internet friends that I adore, so I wanted to be real with all of you. You can hate me for it if you want to. Go ahead.

I don't think I'm going to make a recommend list this month. I haven't really read anything, so it'll be really small. And I don't like the pressure of it anymore... which is why for a long time I've thought about not doing them anymore. Maybe some day I will again in the future. But I'd still love to make rec list on the member's birthdays! And I think this will help me, take some pressure off myself (that I've created myself), so I'll still read and rec, it will just be slower---whenever I feel like it, and not because I have to read to make a monthly rec list. This isn't my job, I'm not getting paid doing all of this, and the amount of time I've been spending on both reading and writing is more than 37+ hours a week, sooo. I have to slow down.

A part of me thinks that I flew too fast, too high and too close to the sun, lol. I'm still gonna be here, you can still send in asks for rec list or whatever you want, all is welcome (except hate, because then I'll simply just delete my blog, my mental health can't take that).

To post, or not to post? Should I post the two stories that I have? Both of them are for the series Friendcation.

And for the unfinished mermaid stories I still have left, I hope I'll finish them in the future; when, I don't know. Maybe one day I'll feel love for them again, to finish them. I have them all planned out, but like I mentioned before, with low interaction, I'm really not motivated to finish them, even though part of me really want to for the like five people that are so sweet and invested, and always comments and reblogs (you guys know who you are, and I love you so fucking much 🥰).

To all the stories I'll probably never write...

I still have some other unfinished but planned stories, and I'm gonna list them here, just for the hell of it. Don't know if people would have found them interesting anyway, but here goes:

Words on a Page (a Namjoon x reader, idol!au where reader is a fanfiction writer and interviewer for a magazine and has to interview BTS). Author's comment: probably never gonna write it. It has been done before, and it was just a very very silly dream I had.

Songs of The Heart (a Jimin x reader, musician!au where Jimin is a single father and reader moves into the house next to his, hear his lonely songs etc, they meet, talk, very angsty, sad and nostalgic and 'Who' coded). Author's comment: this idea came to me after listening to 'who' and then thinking about Jimin being my next door neighbor, yeah, that's it. Don't know if this will ever get written.

IT Support (a Jimin x reader, office!au where Jimin is your nerdy coworker, but a freak in the sheets, lol). Author's comment: this has honestly been on my list for years, but I never written anything for it, and I probably never will, even though I've made the banner and all.

I do have a few more, but I've already scraped those, and then there's the four mermaid stories to add to the list. I'm probably mostly excited about the mermaid stories, and those would be my priority if I ever get back into writing fanfiction again.

I swear, I'm almost finished... Okay, this whole thing has gotten incredibly long. Sorry. Before I end this post, I just want to say how happy and grateful I am to each and everyone of you. I've met some incredible nice people on here, some really caring ones. I'll never forget that. And I'll never forget each wonderful and lovely comment, some people have really helped me, motivated me when I felt low, and when I wanted to stop writing a few months back. Thank you. I kept going, and I wish I could keep going for you, making something special, for the special people I met here. I actually really wanted to do requests for you guys in hopes that it would motivate me into writing, but I just don't know. I still want to give so much back to the people who have hyped me up, so I'm going to tag a few of you lovely people--- if you have a request for a story, you're welcome to message me or send me an ask. I don't know if or when I'll write it, but in case I get a bit of motivation, I have some things I could write from, so if you want to, you can send me a request (just keep in mind the story will probably be a one-shot from 10-20k max or maybe shorter, lol, you never know with me). You don't have to send me a request, I simply want to give back to some lovely people. I wish I could hug you.

@letjungcoook7 @honeybloomyyyy @babystarcandyjk97 @minpdrecs @bobathi @allie-is-a-panda @back2bluesidex @gimeow @antisocial-mochi267

These are but just a few of the people that have supported me on there, either by commenting, reblogging, ask, messaging--you name it. I could list many others, and one day I might make a post celebrating all mt lovely mutuals, that means a lot to me. Thank you for interacting; you've (as long with others) helped me when times were tough. Thank you.

I had actually planned to open a "recommend a fic" section/box, but I'm not sure about that. I still have so many fics on my to read list, and right now I don't want to pile more onto it. Might do it in the future, when I've finally made it through my own lists.

Okay, I have to end this post for real now.

I'm still on tumblr, I still have my app. I deleted my discord app on my phone, but I'm still part of the servers I was before, I'm just not active. It's better for me that way right now, because it all got to be too much. I was just reminded of how much of a failure I feel like (no, we're not getting into that not, store it away). But you can always contact me here. I'm lurking sometimes. I look forward to reading in a more leisurely pace and hopefully not feeling pressured to make the rec lists as I did before (even though just for the completionist in me I want to finish them for just this year, lol).

Okay. If you read this far---thank you, I adore you, I love you, you're nice, keep going 💜

[raineandsky]

Hello, I was wondering if you could please write something where Villain thinks they are under a love potion slipped by hero’s allies. After every moment they see hero they feel they are in love with them. But when they confront the teammate they find, to their surprise that they gave them a ‘speak your heart’ potion to get them to confess their crimes and never expected them to have feelings for their friend. Coming to the shock and realization that they had indeed fallen for hero but had been ignoring it/suppressing it. Now they are at the point where they can deny it no longer. Thank you for your consideration and for reading this! I hope you have an absolutely lovely day! 💕

this was.... such a cute idea??? i liked writing this one, i hope you enjoy reading!! thank you as always for the request!!

Heroes are liars. The villain knows this well. They’ll lie, cheat and bribe their way into anything that might mean another villain in jail, another victory under their belt.

There are telltale signs of lying, of course. Looking away, shifting about, smiling awkwardly. The villain has learnt all of these, because they know that heroes are liars, but also tend to be bad liars.

This hero, from the villain’s deduction, is either an incredibly good liar or telling the truth. God, the villain wants it to be the former.

“Love potion turns blue,” this hero is saying. “When I poured the heart-speaker in your drink it went orange.”

The hero’s looking right at them, stock still, face blank except for what seems a little like horror. Liar, surely. He’s just a damn good one. “Bullshit. You’re— You’re fucking with my head.”

“I’m not doing anything!” the hero cries. “I’ve been following you around with a recorder because I was hoping you’d admit to your crimes! I wasn’t expecting any of this.”

The villain turns away from them—a mistake most villains know not to make, not that the villain particularly cares right now—and heaves a deep sigh. It makes sense, doesn’t it? Does it?

The villain is no stranger to love potions and their effects. How they noticeably warp their victim’s perception of reality, of who they can trust. The villain, subject to one such potion for one of the supervillain’s strange experiments, noticed that everything felt different, that their feelings on certain people had inexplicably changed. The effects also wore off after a day.

The villain’s been feeling like this for a week. Loose, almost detached, like honesty is the best policy even though their colleagues would scream for them to stop talking.

They’ve seen their hero more than once this past week. Carefully stamped-down, begrudging respect has blown up into desperate infatuation. Their hero says some well-practised lines about taking them down, the villain stutters out some of their own about never being caught, and then they fight, the physicality of it entirely overwhelming sometimes.

That’s more than a simple love potion has ever done to the villain.

Their hero is— how long has the villain been calling them that? That hero isn’t the villain’s anything except their nemesis. They need to get out of their own head before the heart-speaker drowns them in their own emotions.

“How… how long does it last?” the villain asks faintly.

“Well,” the hero says, “at least a week.”

“Oh my god. You don’t even know.” The villain scoffs in offence. “Jesus, I— I can’t see [Hero] again like this.”

“You’re freaking out, [Villain],” the hero butts in carefully. “You’re recognising your own feelings for the first time. It’s a lot. I get it.”

The hero doesn’t get it. The villain feels like the world’s about to end. “What the hell am I meant to do?”

“You could tell them.”

“Are you insane? No!” The villain wrings their hands, pacing thoughtlessly. “No, this isn’t right. The heart-speaker will wear off and everything will go back to normal. It’s fine.”

“I mean…” The hero glances down at the little audio recorder in their hand. It looks ancient, as most hardware does that comes from the agency. “I still have a ton of free space on this thing.”

“I’m not saying it out loud and I’m certainly not letting you record it.”

The hero shrugs, the lightest smirk weaving its way onto their stupid face. “I didn’t think you would. I do have some heart-speaker left. Enough for… someone else.”

On any normal day, the villain wouldn’t care too much about knowing what their hero thinks of them. But this day isn’t normal, and with this goddamn potion working its magic on them, the villain is painfully, embarrassingly desperate to know every little detail of their hero’s thoughts.

The villain squints at the hero to make it clear they’re not agreeing to this immediately, although their body language probably suggests otherwise. “Okay, well, it’s not your worst idea.”

The hero nods sagely. “I think I know which idea of mine you think is the worst. I’ll make sure this one isn’t to your detriment, though—it’ll be fun working with you, partner.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why, saving it for someone else?”

The villain wants to snap back at them for the tease as the hero laughs, but they can’t deny what the heart-speaker is forcing them to admit.

Yes.

[prentissluvr]

sam would be the best boyfriend when ur on ur period, he’d immediately know what to do, he’d go to the store and buy you what ever pads and/or tampons you need, snacks, everything. there’d definitely be a time where he’d make a little gift basket out of the stuff and it’s just so cute. he fills you a hot water bottle, lets you braid his hair (he claims to not like it but he deffo does), he lays your head like where his bellybutton is and plays with your hair whilst talking to you in a velvety voice and gives you so many cuddles and tells you how beautiful you are if you get bloated or breakout or anything and gives you lots of kisses on your body wherever you’re comfortable with it

-💽

babydoll you sent this at the perfect time!! because i just got my period yesterday lolll so i was totally thinking about this <33

tw mentions of throwing up, passing out, and overall bad period pain rip lol

i like to think about how younger sam had almost no idea about periods. he probably heard things here and there about it whenever he was able to be in school, maybe even learned about it on his own because he's a curious, intelligent, and kind sweet boy!! but he's never very close with an afab person until he meets jess. he's naturally sweet and caring, so he learns quickly with her.

so when he's with you, he's ready and prepared to be the best boyfriend in the world. he learns what you need specifically and what you like best and it ingrains it in his memory!! (crying i know this isn't about samjess but everything is about samjess to me, so i'm thinking about the fact that he still remembers what jess liked the most :((( sobbing . like what if the first time you text him to pick up pads or something, he unconsciously grabs the kind she'd buy before remembering he can just ask what you want. he probably knows your favorite candies by then, so he doesn't think to grab jess's, but he does remember. i just love them a lot SORRY) ANYWAYS !!!

i'm crying at the idea of sam only letting you braid his hair when you're on your period because you'll get upset if he doesn't LOL but that he secretly really likes it and would totally let you do it any other time if you ask him sweetly enough. (he's down bad and will do anything that you want. he caves so easy). and he like. feels like he should be playing with your hair instead, but he knows that playing with his hair calms you so he just sits there in utter contentment like. wow i'm soooo in love with them :,)

AGH laying on his belly makes me so :(((( that's when he gets to play with your hair to relax you <3 wahhh and i'm crying about how assuring he is with you <333 he's so so incredibly sweet and just pours on the compliments when he knows that you need them. so so so many kisses!!!

and on the topic of laying on tummies <3 for some people, pressure makes cramps feel better. and i just imagine sam absolutely melting and wanting to CRY at how in love and endeared he is with you if you ask him to lay his head on your tummy to help with the pain. while he's there, he'll tell stories and gently massage your legs or just lightly rub over your sweet skin <3

speaking of massages i think he's the bEST at giving them!! his hands are so big, which helps massively, and then his touch is so gentle, yet steady and it is just so completely soothing <3 he loves being able to take even a little bit of your pain away. and he hatesss to see you in any pain he's so :((( so he does everything in his power to make it as bearable as he can!!!

ofc everyone has different experiences with their periods, but i know that in the hunting context, i personally would have such a shit ass time with my period because i doubt it'd be too easy to get birth control to tame my horrible cramps. so i think about how concerned sammy is when he realizes just how bad it can get :( headcanon that jess probably got pretty bad period cramps too but i can imagine she had access to birth control or meds to help out, so when he sees you in so so much pain he's so so worried :((

he feels soo so awful seeing you throw up or get faint or even pass out from the pain because he knows he can't fix it. so instead he's just so so caring and soft and perfect about it. especially if it gets this bad for you, he's extra careful to keep track of your period to make sure that you're never going to be doing anything strenuous during that time. if you're in pain while on the road, he gets in the back seat with you to hold you and put his warm hands on your belly until you can stop at the nearest gas station to get you a hot water bottle or something for the pain. he's perfect and i love him so much and i need need need him to take care of me while i'm on my period lol

[sgiandubh]

Dear (returning) Considering Anon,

You wrote this and you have been blocked. Again. Fair enough, make as many clones as you wish: I shall not answer anymore.

You took a hefty chunk of your time only to write this and be read on a very early morning start between urinating and brushing my teeth. I should applaud your dedication, but I won't.

If you wish to insinuate I hacked into their account, you are, once more, laughably wrong:

As I said, someone from your own camp inadvertently pointed the way:

Not an approximate payroll - a budget estimate. Two different things, as Claire was not cast at the time. Simple basis for further negotiations and in no way the final figures. Series' renewal was announced on August 15, 2014, 1 (one!) day after the broadcast of the first episode. Any negotiated raise was, therefore, involving both of them and their agents - we also know they 'had each other's back' since very early on - no need for me to further develop, you know exactly what I mean:

That email was either hacked, or 'erroneous': the twain shall never meet, like Kipling's East and West. Too subtle for you? The appropriate term is 'vague': a vague enough 'we', for me not to base my reasoning on it alone.

Diana Gabaldon 'Erself confirmed the fact that there was not much to do, other than going on with the shooting of Season 1 and certainly no time for any exterior relationships. But hey, why bother, the Screeching Banshees know best, right, since they are happily 'adulting' in their corner (the nerve!).

You guys are always grasping at that paper the way people usually grasp at straws, with zero critical approach towards the many legitimate questions that 'marriage' leaves perfectly unanswered. If all marriage papers in the universe reflected deep love and commitment, we'd probably be living in a perfect, ideal and (between you and me) very boring world. In this case, the mismatch is obvious, a shitload of details do not click, the Happy Couple systematically looks as if pushed to the gallows with bayonets, rather than being a part of glam events, that house still looks, as we speak, emptier than Mrs. Havisham's living room and the commonly 'owned' businesses are, likewise, empty shells (spare one of them and for a very precise reason). And that is just scratching the surface of the itch, darling. Your inability to question whatever you are so opportunistically fed tells me more than you'd certainly want about yourself, that being said.

You are correct, shooting ended yesterday. Perhaps it's time for you to move on and find another obsessive fandom to pounce upon: after all, there are so many interesting series out there! After almost one year and a half in here, I am still amazed at your intolerance and your very credulous conviction that you are somehow doing God's work, every single day, harassing people who dare to think differently, simply because they know differently. And no, unlike you, I am not basing my very firm stance just on the interactions I see between them during promo, two historical trolls ridiculous lies or the social media findings of another obsessed troll.

The comparison between SC pics and Sam/Greedy Driver ones is simply grotesque. Dropping names as Lily (who?) won't make me believe you are one of the insiders, either.

On top of it all, thank you for the wonderful final idiocy:

Romanian for bustard is 'dropie'. I remember watching them roam near my grandparents' home, many moons ago and can absolutely confirm they do run fast.

You should take heed, Anon. My question for you will always be why. Why are you doing this and exactly what do you hope to achieve?

[creatingblackcharacters]

Question: how do you feel about Black writers with Black OCs with traits that may fit certain stereotypes at first glance? For example, one of my OCs is a psychologist. She's intelligent enough to have 2 doctorates, and a gentle hearted therapist.

I'm worried because she might fall into the Mammy trope. Giving too much of herself to build others up. Part of the reason I made her with that specific profession is because I never see Black women in mental health. Definitely not in fiction and honestly? Barely IRL. We are nurses but never doctors. I'm not sure if my intent outweighs what may be on the surface.

What do you think?

[I love your blog and your work. I have had to look at my own OCs harder and I thank you for giving me the tools to question and better myself. ]

To your example: My good sis, I'm going to give you the same answer I give everyone else!

There's nothing wrong with your character off rip. I'm glad that you're writing that representation you want to see! You've already done some of the footwork here- recognizing that she gives too much of herself to lift others up! How do you as the writer treat that? Do you recognize that? Is it your intention that your readers say "hey, she sure does this a lot, is she going to care for herself?" Does your plot intend to address this within her and allow her to grow, which may mean letting others care for her, or putting some of that weight down on her own? Or do you treat her as though that's just Her Role and everyone else (usually white characters) benefits from that?

As for your first question, it honestly depends. I usually have more grace for the intentions of Black writers, mainly bc I expect that we are more aware of what we're writing about ourselves. For example, I can watch Menace II Society and go "ah! Okay. Yeah there are gang bangers here, but they are there to tell a specific story. This is not what the author thinks we all are, this is them telling about the world around them". Unfortunately I can't have that much grace off rip with nonblack writers.

That said, if something is a stereotype, it's gone be a stereotype regardless of who wrote it. Antiblackness is very often perpetuated by Black people who may have certain destructive beliefs about themselves. I think Soul Food is the most misogynoiristic films I've ever seen, and it's written and directed by a Black man 😅 So yeah, we can always take time to step back and look at how we can improve our own work.

[allwormdiet]

Buzz 7.8

Nazi capes fuck off, like fucking for real

Honestly even if Kaiser deigned to tell his people that the Undersiders weren't responsible, somehow I doubt any Empire member would be inclined to treat them with much respect.

Yeah, see, this isn't about the leaks for Hookwolf. This is about the fucking beef over the dog fights.

Not a genius move from the driver, honestly. If you really want to put bullets in the villains that have good defensive capabilities, the last thing you want to do is give up the element of surprise. Stormtiger may not have been able to deflect those shots if he didn't have enough time to react.

Also, does Cricket wield kama? Like, the fucking Japanese farming tool? Are you allowed to join the Empire if you're a blatant weeaboo?

This is a really bad matchup honestly, it's tense to see how close they get to death with these fuckers

Disturbingly evocative and sadistic, but what else is to be expected from fucking Nazis, right

Clever guy

Fuck yeah, environmental takedown

Grue is fucking hardcore. Two shots to Stormtiger's legs and not even bothering to acknowledge Cricket's hostage. Dude does not fuck around when it comes to Empire, the only restraint here is that he's not killing them outright but honestly I wouldn't feel bad if he did. Just dump their bodies into the water, bing bang boom.

Well, okay, I guess Hookwolf would still be a problem, wouldn't he

This Cricket gal is bullshit honestly

So, yeah, now that we've gotten all three of the Empire capes to show their powers, I'll go ahead and say that this fight was stacked against Skitter and Grue from the jump. Hookwolf can't be fought hand-to-hand without being shredded to pieces and insects can't do much about metal flesh. Stormtiger can get bugs off himself no problem and can blast away Grue's darkness. Cricket, meanwhile, has some kinda sonic blast that lets her navigate Grue's darkness and also incapacitate Skitter's bugs.

The fact that they get out of this fight alive is a testament to remarkable intelligence and grit on their part.

This is a brutal slugfest honestly, although the fucking Nazi deserves every second of pain she's getting from it.

It's a little funny that they're having this conversation in front of Cricket. Like "oh yeah it looks bad but she's too busy being a sadist to do any real damage," "oh that sucks ass of her but I'm glad you're not too hurt" and she's laying there with a chunk of thigh missing. She should be embarrassed enough to leave town forever.

Yeah Cricket's busted, but good news is she's taken care of

It's a little funny that they're both stuck stitching each other back up after Brian cut off any romantic options. Like I've seen a lot of works where patching up someone's wounds and putting them back together would have a kind of bloodsoaked intimacy to it, but not here lmao

Also yeah you'd better appreciate Tattletale

These little punks. Love em to bits.

Okay so real quick, noticing Taylor's description of how Regent is talking, and I wonder how grounded Alec is as a baseline. Like I have to imagine that the Heartbreaker Experience doesn't do a whole lot of wonders for learning how to connect to the world around you. Is it an affectation like I've been speculating, or is that just the best he's got for engaging with reality?

I wish going straight for Purity meant killing her, but even without reading the rest of this arc I know the Undersiders don't have that kind of firepower. I can dream, though.

Teehee, parallels

Current Thoughts

I wish Grue managed to kill all three of the Empire capes but I get why he couldn't. I'll just have to hope they all die later.

Awesome that they managed to get the win over those bastards in the first place though, I don't think this is my favorite fight in terms of the beat-by-beat action but in terms of how they have to overcome the disadvantage of enemy powers it feels the best.

[astra-galaxie]

I decided I wanted to make one of these! Explanations of my choices can be found below!

Favourite character: Shocker! My favourite character is Diego! Who could have foreseen this coming? I've always loved Diego, and his character development is so well-written! Plus, Pretty Simple was VERY generous when designing him!😏

Liked by everyone but me: This might be a bit of a controversial take, so please don't grab the pitchforks and torches until you hear me out! I don't, nor have I ever hated Elliot; I've just never understood the hype surrounding him. He's just never appealed to me like he does for others, but he's still an interesting character.

Didn't like at first: Asal still isn't high on my list of liked characters, but I like her more than I used to. I had forgotten about the more specific aspects of her character, and when I wrote my Save The World story, I realized she was more complex than I remembered. Mainly how she was hostile towards the Bureau because she thought they were aware of Ripley's involvement with SOMBRA, and after finding out they were unaware, she seemed remorseful for her actions.

Would like to know more about: I feel like there is so much more we could have learned about Arthur. Why did he start the rebellion? Why did he become a writer? How did he manage to escape from the Demon Queen's faithful? How was he captured? So many questions that I want to know the answers to!

Least favourite character: Do I need to say anything about this one? No, seriously, do I? Because I feel like it's pretty obvious why I would hate him, given his LONG list of dirty deeds!

Like the design, dislike the character: While I might not like Morgana, I LOVE her design! Her dress is so pretty, and her hair and make suit her aesthetic! Plus, her accessories are wicked! (See what I did there?😉)

Like the character, dislike the design: Abigail is such a cool and unique character, but I wish her design was better. It just seems so simple and plain... PS could have at least given her some accessories or something instead of just a basic tank top! Someone give this ghost a makeover!

Similar personality: I connect with Evie on a spiritual level. I, too, enjoy hiding away from the real world and doing something I love. Also, I am very shy and quiet, so much so that I am constantly accidentally sneaking up on people!

Fav ship: Maddie and Charlie's love story is so good! It's the perfect friends-to-lovers story, and watching them get together made me so happy!

Least fave ship: Again, do I need to say anything? These two have ZERO chemistry beyond friendship, and their sudden "rekindled" romance made no sense. Gwen and Hope deserved to get together, and I stand by that fact!

Would befriend IRL: Luke reminds me of some of my current and old IRL friends. I think he and I would get along! I've already said that I would like to be his friend, which hasn't changed.

Would never befriend IRL: And because I had to state my dislike of Fabian somehow, this is where I'm doing it! I HATE this guy (but not as much as Horatio) and would NEVER be his friend! I'd rather drive a stake through my heart than be his friend! Whenever he came on the screen while playing S7, I would glare at him...

And that's everything! Can you tell which seasons are my favourite?😉

Again, these are just my personal opinions, so please do not gather the mob! People are allowed to like or dislike whichever characters they choose, so please be respectful of mine.✨

[fionaapplerocks]

The Long and Winding Road That Leads to Fiona Apple

By Tyler Coates 2012-05-31

“The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” So goes the oft-quoted line from William Faulkner’s Requiem for a Nun. Time is circular, and our relationship with our own personal histories is ever changing. This is a concept with which the enigmatic Fiona Apple is deeply familiar.

The 34-year-old singer-songwriter is about to release her fourth album—the first in seven years—aptly titled The Idler Wheel is wiser than the Driver of the Screw, and Whipping Cords will serve you more than Ropes will ever do. The spinning wheel of time cranks back and forth for Apple, who continues to re-examine her past while trying to keep up with the present. Like most artists, however, Apple finds that her fans cherish the past more than she does.

In 2000, a 16-year-old fan named Bill Magee approached Apple after a show in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania with a request: he told her he was a member of his high school’s gay-straight alliance and hoped that Apple could write a few words of support. “[I] was much more interested in interacting with a celebrity than building an alliance between gays and straights,” he admitted on his blog 12 years later where he posted a scanned image of the letter he received less than a week after requesting her response.

Apple wrote: “All I know is I want my friends to be good people, and when my friends fall in love, I want them to fall in love with other good people. How can you go wrong with two people in love? If a good boy loves a good girl, good. If a good boy loves another good boy, good. And if a good girl loves the goodness in good boys and good girls, then all you have is more goodness, and goodness has nothing to do with sexual orientation.”

“My brother was the one who told me about it,” Apple tells me just weeks after Magee posted the letter on his Tumblr, which was then picked up by various sites like Jezebel and Pitchfork. “I was like, ‘A letter I wrote to someone when I was 22 has made its way online?’ That’s the scariest thing I could possibly hear in my life. And the subject matter was so important—I know how I’ve always felt so I knew it wasn’t going to be a bad letter, but I was like, ‘What did I say?!’”

The letter’s sudden popularity online is indicative of how much has changed since Apple released her debut album, Tidal, in 1996.

For starters, she was then a 19-year-old singer-songwriter signed to a major record label and churning out emotional and dark odes at a time when her contemporaries were singing bubblegum-pop love songs.

She made headlines after appearing in the video for “Criminal.” Shot in a seedy apartment, the video featured a scantily clad and emaciated Apple, sparking criticisms of the exploitive quality of the images (and suggesting that she had an eating disorder). In 1997, when accepting her award for Best New Artist at the MTV Video Music Awards, Apple infamously shouted into the microphone, “This world is bullshit, and you shouldn’t model your life on what we think is cool, and what we’re wearing and what we’re saying.”

While the speech was replayed and parodied on TV for years following, Apple was lucky enough to have said those words before the days of blogging and YouTube; had she given the speech 15 years later, it may have turned into a career-damaging viral video and sparked a few thousand snarky tweets.

She also has the luxury of being a successful artist who doesn’t need to promote herself online. “They want me to tweet now, but I don’t,” Apple tells me of her label reps. “It doesn’t feel natural to me. But I do find it actually more interesting to see people posting ridiculously mundane shit. I like to hear about what people had for breakfast or what they did all day. It’s interesting because I don’t know how other people live.”

While Apple is hardly a recluse, she’s made few public appearances in the seven years since the release of her third album, Extraordinary Machine. The excitement following the announcement by Epic Records of the late-June release of The Idler Wheel speaks to the loyalty of her fan base. (And as for that long-winded title, it’s a callback to the much-maligned 90-word title of her acclaimed sophomore effort, universally shortened to When the Pawn…)

The Idler Wheel does not deviate from the familiar sounds of Apple’s earlier records; the songs are still layered with complex instrumentation, and her reverberant voice still takes center stage in each tune.

The album was produced nearly in secret over the last few years—a surprising move from an established artist with the resources of a major label at her disposal. But Apple explains that her experience with the label system is what allowed her to feel free to work on her own. “It was very casual, and I wasn’t fully admitting that I was making an album,” she says. “I got to use the time in the studio to inspire me to finish other things rather than feel like I was finishing homework to hand in. It wasn’t a lot of pressure. And the record company didn’t know I was doing it, so nobody was looking over my shoulder.”

Most might take that mentality as a reaction to the restrictions of her record label, especially after the drama surrounding the release of Extraordinary Machine. After collaborating with Jon Brion (who produced When the Pawn) to create an early version of the third album in 2002, Apple then decided to rework all but two of the songs with producer Mike Elizondo.

The original version of the album leaked online, and Brion suggested in interviews that Apple’s label had rejected the demo and forced her to rerecord the songs (a claim that Apple later denied). Still, it incited an uproar among her fans. An online-based movement called Free Fiona organized demonstrations outside of the Sony headquarters in New York, and protestors sent apples to the label’s executives.

The final version of the album was released in 2005 and received positive reviews and earned Apple a Grammy nomination. “I ran into the guy who started Free Fiona after a show in Chicago,” she tells me. “He apologized to me! They didn’t get the story quite right, but they did help me get my album out. I felt so bad that he had spent all this time thinking I was pissed at him—I had a physical urge to get down on the floor and kiss his shoes!”

It’s an intense reaction (she admits she didn’t bow to her fan because “it would be weird if I did that”), but Apple is still a very intense person. Dressed in a flowing skirt paired with several layers of spaghetti-strapped tank tops that reveal her slender frame (which seems healthier than in her early days, giving the impression that she must spend most of her downtime on a yoga mat), Apple fidgets in her seat during our conversation, often giving off an infectious giggle.

But she is surprisingly comfortable to talk to, not much like the somber young woman who sang of heartbreak and disappointment. “I don’t think I’ll ever have an idea of what I look like to the rest of the world,” she replies when I ask if she ever worries that her lyrics, which are sometimes in stark contrast to the up-tempo, progressive sounds of her songs’ instrumentations, give off the wrong impression of her personality. “It’s all your own perception. I could easily be concerned with how I’m taken and then have all the good stuff filtered through to me and choose to believe that. For the rest of my life it’d be the truth for me, but not the whole truth.”

Born Fiona Apple McAfee Maggart in New York City to Brandon Maggart and Diane McAfee, Apple’s musical destiny was settled at birth. The McAfee-Maggarts are, while not reaching Barrymore-level name recognition, an entertainment family; Apple’s father was nominated for a Tony for his performance in the Broadway musical Applause, both her mother and sister are singers, and her half-brothers work in the film industry—one an actor and the other a director.

She’s a third-generation performer, as her grandmother was a dancer in musical revues and her grandfather a Big Band-era musician. While Apple’s auspicious introduction to the pop world had critics calling her a prodigy, she crafted her early songs as a cathartic necessity. (“Sullen Girl” from Tidal, in particular, is about her rape at the age of 12.) “Over the years it’s transferred more into a craft,” she says. “I use myself as material because that’s what I’ve got. But these days I write less than half of my songs to get myself through things. I have to find other things to be meaningful— otherwise I’d just be miserable all the time.”

Her songs are still extremely autobiographical, which is perhaps their charm. Following in the footsteps of other singer-songwriters, especially women who emerged in the early ’90s and expressed their emotions in particularly vulnerable ways, Apple’s openness has always had an empowering appeal. Her songs seem to suggest that feeling a variety of emotions—sadness, glee, despair, insanity—is not only normal, but, like those self-reflective musicians before her, she also gives permission to her listeners to feel the same way.

Even for Apple, her older songs are relics of another time, and she now makes them applicable to her life in the present. “They all kind of become poems after a while,” she says. “You can take your own meaning out of them. It’s been a very long time [since my first albums], and I can apply those songs to other situations that are more current in my life.” She admits she has changed greatly since she started writing songs in her late teenage years, especially when it comes to how she portrays herself. “I don’t feel comfortable singing the songs that I wrote. I used to blame other people and not take responsibility. I thought I was a total victim trying to look strong.”

And she is much harder on herself in the songs on The Idler Wheel than she ever was before. Sure, she admitted to being “careless with a delicate man” in “Criminal,” arguably her most famous song, and in When the Pawn’s “Mistake” she sang, “Do I wanna do right, of course but / Do I really wanna feel I’m forced to / Answer you, hell no.”

On The Idler Wheel, Apple examines her own solitude and neuroses as well as their effect on her relationships with others. “I can love the same man, in the same bed, in the same city,” she sings on “Left Alone,” “But not in the same room, it’s a pity.” On “Jonathan,” a somber love song layered with robotic, mechanical sounds that’s presumably about her ex-boyfriend, author and Bored to Death creator Jonathan Ames, she urges, “Don’t make me explain / Just tolerate my little fist / Tugging at your forest-chest / I don’t want to talk about anything.”

But performing, as a central requirement of her career, still takes precedence. “Some nights I’m very, very nervous, and some nights I’m not at all,” she tells me. “I think, ‘This is ridiculous. I’m not a person who does a show, I’m a person who should be on a couch watching TV.’ But then it’s like I get knocked into another state of consciousness, and then I’m left behind, and the person that’s doing the show is there and there’s nothing else in the world existing other than the note she’s singing. It’s such a joy to do, but I forget about it until I’m on the stage.”

Apple has lived in los Angeles since Tidal’s release in 1996, although she admits that she’s “not an L.A. girl.” “I was supposed to stay in New York,” she tells me. “I remember being 17 and asking if I could record in New York. How did I end up here? It’s 15 years later… How did that happen?” Apple doesn’t seem to process time like other people. When I ask when she began recording The Idler Wheel and when she knew it was ready, she has a complicated answer. “It must have started in 2008. Or 2009. I don’t know! I have no idea. It’s weird to think that there was 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011.” Her big blue eyes suddenly look to her right as she furrows her brow. “Where’ve I been? What was I doing? What was that year about?”

Maybe the solitary nature of living in L.A. contributes to her aloof tendencies. “I’m not a social creature,” she says, “I don’t go to parties all the time because I’d probably just wonder why I’m there in the first place.” Her preference for being alone may also stem from the kind of personal criticisms that people tend to throw at female musicians. “I’ve gotten so used to being misunderstood. Nobody’s ever really said anything bad about my music, but when I’ve had albums come out there are always people making fun of me. ‘Oh, she’s back?’” She didn’t even expect the comments (mostly online) when the full title of The Idler Wheel was announced. “I didn’t stop to think that anyone would call it ridiculous, but people did. I thought, ‘Ahhh. My old friends.’ I’m not sure what’s ridiculous about it, but that’s what they’ve got to say.”

I cautiously mention the infamous acceptance speech from the VMAs, a moment early in her career that defined the public persona of Fiona Apple as an angry, ungracious woman. “I’ve never been ashamed of that,” she replies immediately. It was the first moment, she says, in which she felt like she could speak up—to break free from the shyness that defined her childhood and early teenage years. “I genuinely, naïvely thought that I was going to put out a record and that was going to make me have friends. I expected to give it to people and they would understand me; no one would say to me, ‘We don’t want to be your friend because you’re too intense or too sad all the time.’” It wasn’t necessarily the case.

“Do you still think the world is bullshit?” I ask when we talk about the VMAs. She laughs. “It’s not the world!” she exclaims. “Of course people think that ‘the world’ is the whole world. I felt that I had finally gotten into the popular crowd, and I thought, ‘Is this what I’ve been doing this for?’ I felt like I was back in the cafeteria in high school and still couldn’t speak up for myself.”

These days, Apple spends more time focusing on her own art rather than the reactions to it. With age has come calm and decreasing desire to pay attention to her detractors. “I’ve decided it takes too much energy to try to avoid it,” she tells me, brushing aside her freshly dyed crimson hair. “I’m not going to hide from the world.”

Source Archive.org:

https://web.archive.org/web/20120603033544/http://www.blackbookmag.com/music/the-long-and-winding-road-that-leads-to-fiona-apple-1.49114

[grandpasauce]

"bioware's doing the best they can" "they have to trim the fat SOMEWHERE" "they have to move on from the previous games EVENTUALLY" "they ALWAYS have disregarded things from past games" guys........... (ramblings under the cut)

my man on earth....... morrigan is literally claimed By The Devs to be a prevalent character in datv and ur telling me NOTHING that happned to her is worth putting into the background of datv?

you can claim bioware is just doing their job and have all the excuses in the world for them but when u get down to it.... they really just didnt want to deal with anything from the past three games... they didnt want to put the work in to add even CODEXES (one the the easiest cheapest forms of implementing background lore) to this game... the literal game director barely even knows who ZEVRAN is (a MAIN CHARACTER from the FIRST of the series) because they didnt bother going back to replay or research dragon age as a series beyond dai... like... i understand the devs wanting to simplify their jobs and i actually totally agree, they needed to get rid of the keep, that was too much info for them to keep up with.

But they cut back SO MUCH, like an unnecessary amount. Three? THREE choices? AND ALL OF THEM ARE SOMEHOW RELATED TO SOLAS? NOTHING the inquisitor did was notable beyond their relationship to Solas? Nothing??

people are using leliana as an example of something bioware has retconned before because shes alive regardless of if u killed her in dao or not. except the problem with that is that the games DOES address the fact that she's supposed to be dead. like it very much does that??? hello?? id rather they bring her back and address it than just totally retcon it and never explain it

this is such a horrible, disrespectful decision on bioware's part and making excuses for them is WILD. like. the devs are fine i promise u. stopppp telling people to **touch grass** and **take some deep breaths** after I myself have invested over half my life into playing these games just to get slapped with "lol actually none of that matters now hehe" jfc

like i understand fandom can get a lil crazy but im telling u this isnt an overreaction lmao let people be upset about things that theyve poured their lives into for 15+ years

im still buying the game, im still playing it, ill still love it, but MAN this has kind of totally ruined my trust in the devs and im back to being nervous about how they will address things in this game and beyond because it really feels like a big fuck u to long time fans and idk how they wouldnt think it would be perceived as such.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Hello! What do you think about Natalie, her writing and fandom treatment? I find it fascinating that despite all the evil, she has so many fans, and even those who salt on ML and the Agrestes heavily often portray her as cool and/or sympathetic.

Prior to season five, I had mixed feelings about Nathalie. I like badass female villains, but I don't like women being idiots over men. Those were her two defining traits in season three and four, so my attitude was mostly, "can we please switch her motivation so that I can love her? I really want to love her because, if we remove the romance crap, then she reminds me of Shego and the world needs more Shegos!"

Then season five hit....

I utterly despise Nathalie's season five writing and think it makes her look weak, cruel, and ineffectual. I have no idea why so many people adore her and are excited that she's Adrien's new mom. She is not meaningfully better than Gabriel. In fact, season five Nathalie bothers me more than Gabriel. Why? Because Gabriel is the villain. He's allowed to be villainous. When Nathalie was a villain, the same rules applied. But the show claims that she's good now and yet she does nothing meaningful to stop Gabriel even though she could have.

Nathalie lives in the Agreste mansion, knows all of Gabriel's secrets, and has access to his secret lair. We also see her pin Gabriel to a table, undo his senti commands, and boss him around without any retaliation. He just rolls over and takes it. This is not the setup for a weak willed woman who sits idly by crying woe is me because she has no true power, yet that's basically what Nathalie is in season five. The first part of the final even outright confirms that Nathalie knows Gabriel's ultimate plan:

(A Tsurugi Industries pop-up appears on the screen.) Ad voice: After months of research, Tsurugi Labs have found the antidote– Nathalie: (Swipes the pop-up away.) He's going to finally do it...

So why didn't she find a way to contact the heroes and tell them what was going on? Why did she wait until she was dying to do something? Right after the above line, she grabs her crossbow and goes off to find Gabriel in a moment that made me roll my eyes. It's such blatant pathetic fan service. Only now when Nathalie is too weak to make a difference is she finally allowed to make a token effort to stop the man that she's been babying all season.

If Nathalie was allowed to be the kind of character they wrote her to be, then she would have acted much sooner and to greater effect. For example, imagine if her akumatization was just a ruse to get to the heroes. Once she loses and Gabriel can no longer see what's going on, she calls on the heroes to wait and then tells them everything, offering to help stop Gabriel. That's the kind of shit I'd expect from Nathalie's character.

Instead she just lays around in bed and occasionally pleads with Gabriel to change his mind like in this scene from Intuition:

Nathalie: Gabriel, you may only have a few weeks left like this... and I don't have much more than that. Maybe it's time to stop chasing after the Miraculous and start looking for a solution for Adrien. Make sure he's not alone once we're gone. (Hearing these words, Gabriel's eyes start to fill with sadness. Nathalie places her hands over Gabriel's.) Nathalie: Do it. For Emilie.

Nathalie, you have known this man for literal decades. Why do you expect this to work? Wake up and take charge, woman! Tell Adrien yourself! Help the heroes! Right your wrongs! You are literally dying! What do you have to lose? She honestly comes across pretty hypocritically here because, as she pointed out, they are both actively dying, which will leave Adrien alone, and yet Nathalie also does nothing to prepare Adrien for that. She just wrings her hands and hopes that Gabriel will do the right thing for both of them and I just... GAHHHHH!!!

The only semi-meaningful thing that Nathalie does in season five is undo Gabriel's commands, but that's literally just her maintaining the status quo. It's only there so that the writers don't have to deal with the senti stuff having any real consequences beyond delaying the Adrienette kiss a few episodes. Nathalie isn't trying to free Adrien or get his rings into safe hands before her death. She's just withering away and listening to Adrien talk about Marinette while knowing that he will soon lose everything. It's legitimately upsetting to me.

The anger some people feel about Marinette's actions at the end of the final is how I felt about Nathalie for all of season five and Nathalie is a freaking adult who has known everything for years. Matinette only knows the truth in a context where she can tell Adrien for about two on-screen minutes and that's assuming that Marinette figured out that Adrien is a sentimonster from context clues which she may not have! No one ever explicitly told her the truth and she had a lot of things thrown at her in rapid succession. I would not be stunned if season six reveals that she's still in the dark.

Nathalie is not sympathetic. She has had full agency and knowledge throughout the entire show. She has never been forced to do anything. She is the only peacock wielder to wield it knowing that she would die. She willingly supported Gabriel even when it put Adrien at risk. She outed Adrien's identity in Chat Blanc. She snapped away sentiBug! She's a great villain! She is a piss poor maternal figure.

The final annoying thing about her season five writing is that her "changing sides" makes no sense! She has no idea why the time travel plan failed and her own FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE is that Gabriel will put those he loves before defeating Ladybug (see: Ladybug where Gabriel chose Nathalie over winning). It is such a glaring example of bad writing that it infuriates me! This is the exchange I'm talking about:

Nathalie: (on-call) Gabriel, did it work? Gabriel: No, Ladybug tricked me! She stole the Time Miraculous from me! (Nathalie coughs from her sickness.) You have to help me! Come up with a new plan! Ladybug can’t get away with this! Nathalie: (on-call) You had the Time Miraculous. You could’ve chosen to save Emilie! You could’ve chosen to save me! (coughs) But instead, you chose your obsession with Ladybug and Cat Noir. You're insane, Gabriel!

Please remember that Nathalie has been helping him behind the scenes since the start and is fully aware that every plan he's ever made has failed even though she considered many of those dozens-if-not hundreds-of-plans brilliant.

Gabriel: If it were to fail Nathalie, I could never forgive myself. Nathalie: You made a promise to your wife. You've risked so much for the chance to bring her back. (Hands Gabriel her tablet) Lila has been harboring her rage against Ladybug for months, and today wherever she looks, she'll see the object of her hatred, and as predicted, her anger will reach devastating heights. Your plan is perfect, sir. Gabriel: And you're sure you want to do this? Nathalie: I will always be here for you. We will succeed.

Why is she suddenly so sure that this plan was different? What made her go from encouraging Gabriel to take risks to calling him insane? Why is she suddenly convinced that Gabriel can't possibly win and needs to focus on Adrien when she never said a word during the multiple akumas that directly threatened Adrien's life?

The meta reason is that the writers needed her to act as if she'd been watching the episode so that she wouldn't blindly support Gabriel anymore, allowing them to do the senti BS without it being meaningful to the story. The in show reason? I've got nothing. It is jarring to watch this while remembering that season four ended with Nathalie being given ownership of Adrien and willingly accepting that task, even going so far as to issue senti commands to "Adrien" to make him obey, which does not instill confidence in her parenting skills.

It's just so freaking infuriating. It would have been so much better if Nathalie was allowed to die and we got Emilie back. Nathalie did absolutely nothing to deserve a magical healing and I've been curious about Emilie since day one.

[bad-as-me]

Morgott for the ask meme!

hell yes my boy!!

favorite thing about them

Honestly, Morgott covers the bases for a lot of things I'm weak for in a character. I love a guy who is so single-mindedly devoted to a cause, especially one driven by a need to be loved, that the rest of the world and their own well-being falls apart in the process. Something about the inherent tragedy of someone choosing to die on a hill that nobody asked them to take on, that would really be in their better interest to let go of and start anew elsewhere, and yet you want so badly for their efforts to be rewarded in some way because you know it's all for love.

It's just so terribly romantic in a gothic sense. He reminds me so much of the description of the creature in Frankenstein: someone that tried so hard to fit himself into the image of what his maker wanted, who speaks beautifully and eloquently in contrast to his rough exterior, who boasts an intelligence and a competency that was likely learned while hidden from society. And yet we know in both situations that effort will never be reciprocated.

Also, he growls and purrs and has a giant fluffy snow leopard tail. How can I not be obsessed with him.

least favorite thing about them

His big beautiful horns are so hard to draw :'(

Honestly, he's one of those characters where even his flaws are incredibly interesting to me. I like that he refuses to give up his position of power! It's something he worked so hard for, and to his mind must be the only way he can stay safe in a world that he knows wants him dead. I like that he can't let go of the status quo! As his Great Rune tells us, Omen or not he is the rightful Lord of Leyndell. By all standards of the world they're in, he has every right to be proud of that title. And given the alternatives he's likely had presented to him (Rykard, Mohg, the Frenzied Flame), why wouldn't he believe that this stagnant existence is the best he could ask for?

He's the immovable object to our unstoppable force. There's a nobility in his commitment to that, however misguided it may be.

favorite line

"We are all forsaken. None may claim the title of Elden Lord. Thy deeds shall be met with failure, just as I..."

I love his monologue in the beginning of his fight, but the fact that this is the last thing he says just tears me apart on so many levels. It really hammers home how much of his targeted spite towards us is him projecting his own sense of failure to his lineage. He crawled all this way through the mud, gave every drop of his accursed blood for the Erdtree, and it still wasn't enough. How could we possibly have a chance when all his efforts were for naught?

No matter how many times I replay it, I always take some time just to sit next to him after he says that, listening to the rain over the capitol and the somber song of Leyndell. The city really feels like it's in mourning at that moment, all for someone they hated too much to truly understand.

brOTP

Mohg and Morgott!!! The gruesome twosome!! The dynamic duo! Every piece of art or fic that depicts them having some brotherly squabbles and shenanigans brings a little bit of life back into my eyes :')

OTP

As far as canon characters go, it's gotta be Morgott/Oleg. We love a good knight/master ship around these parts, and I think he deserved someone as devoted to protecting him as he was devoted to his cause.

Outside of that, well. I am writing an ongoing fic of Morgott and my Night's Cavalry Tarnished (who was never a Tarnished but a secret third option, but you know.) I think about them a normal amount.

nOTP

Mohg/Morgott. I just want them to have one single family relationship in their life that is remotely healthy man 😭

random headcanon

He's good with animals, and prefers the company of them to people. Most of his communication to the Night's Cavalry is through carrier falcon, but if he needs to summon them all for a meeting, he can do so with an instrument that's very similar to an Aztec death whistle.

Also, he recanted his blood through the Church of Vows. Him and Miriel have a good rapport with one another.

unpopular opinion

Respectfully, I disagree with both the "Morgott is basically the Lands Between's evangelical gay republican" take, as well as the "Morgott is a soggy baby virgin who will cry if you give him a cookie" take.

I think he is a living contradiction in a lot of ways. He is simultaneously an accursed Omen, the lowest of the low, while also having tangible evidence that he is the child of a god and of a powerful bloodline. He has held Leyndell together for more than long enough both to be aware of its corruption, and to be in a position to change it, but he can't allow himself to believe any of it needs to be changed.

He is too stuck on the idea that he needs to uphold the way things are - to prove himself "better" than his curse - to change anything. This is directly contrasting his brother Mohg, who has made an entire cult around acknowledging the unjust suffering he went through.

Like the sealing of his blood into a sword, he represses that truth, until he is so broken down that it is released all at once - painfully and without control.

Because of this, I think he would recoil at the idea of being an object of pity. He has done too much to earn a respectable position for anyone to tell him that he deserves better - even if it's true, and he should be told that.

song i associate with them

Oh god I have a whole playlist of them. But if I were to narrow it down:

Sonne by Rammstein

Momma Sed by Puscifer

Romans 10:9 by The Mountain Goats

Helvegen by Wardruna

favorite picture of them

I am not exaggerating when I say this illustration by tendermiasma re-wired my brain on a fundamental level