#I can see what’s been most played so far and I’m dying at certain parts cuz I would have aux privileges revoked again
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Can’t wait for the replay 24 playlist to be fully compiled by new years cuz I know it’s gonna be a mess for some
#I can see what’s been most played so far and I’m dying at certain parts cuz I would have aux privileges revoked again#like I am jumping from diggy dee to waltz of the flowers to the final waltz from the nutcracker#and then it’s directly followed by the cobra rock remix#it’s not my fault I just listen to the demon that decides what my music taste will be for the night
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YOU’RE LOSING ME — JACK HUGHES
jack hughes x fem!reader
summary: in which y/n is struggling to grasp the fact that she and jack have grown apart amongst his newfound nhl stardom
warnings: angst, neglectful jack, dying relationship, long intro (so sorry), alcohol
specific lyrics: “remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light. now, i just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time” and “how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?” and “how long could we be a sad song 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life? i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier. fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me. i'm the best thing at this party (you're losin' me). and i wouldn't marry me either; a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her. and I'm fadin', thinkin' "do something, babe, say something" "lose something, babe, risk something" "choose something, babe, i got nothing" (i got nothing) "to believe, unless you're choosin' me"”
notes: idk how i feel about this. it’s been awhile since i’ve written an actual fic so i think my writing is a little rusty. there will be no part 2 to this one! i know y’all love when i make part 2’s to my angsty fics, but some fics i just wanna keep as angst and this is one of them <3
maybe we were naïve. young and innocent in thinking our love would last forever. that we could withstand everything the universe had to throw at us.
i could give us this; we did last past Jack’s rookie year. but maybe that’s when things started breaking. i couldn’t tell you for certain.
when we moved to New Jersey, we were going on three years into our relationship. we thought that milestone of three years meant we would be together forever.
we went apartment hunting, i opted to go into online schooling rather than on campus classes, late night whispers consisted of marriage and future children.
now, the last time i even brought up marriage, he told me he wasn’t ready for that. that he was at the peak of his career and didn’t want to spend time that could be used bettering his skills, to plan a wedding.
i spend most nights in an empty bed, the cold sheets serving as a harsh reminder that my boyfriend would rather go out with his teammates than spend time with me.
rather than the past early mornings of soft loving stares and cuddling on his bare chest, i now spend my mornings glaring towards my boyfriends sleeping figure; trying to calculate when he may have gotten home after i had already fallen asleep.
seven years. one-third of my life, spent with Jack.
no one ever said love would be easy; but no one ever told me it would be this hard either.
the mug in my hands is at risk of breaking from my grip, the coffee inside having gone cold. a cruel euphemism to how our relationship has cooled. the burning fire that it once was, now fizzling to dying sparks. but i still hold onto what’s left, because i’m not sure i know how to live a life without him anymore.
i sit curled up on the sofa, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the New Jersey skyline. i still remember the day that Jack and i decided on this apartment, this room was a deciding factor. we loved the lighting, the way the sun shone through the windows and cast a golden haze over the rest of the apartment.
now i sit in the darkness nearly every night, wondering if this was the end of our relationship; if it’s time.
the worst part is that we keep going on. keep playing house. pretending that our relationship is still as happy as it once was.
‘i love you’s never became a rarity, still uttered past our lips multiple times a day. but i know his words only hold an empty promise now.
how can he say he loves me when he can’t tell that this relationship is killing me?
that this dynamic of our relationship becoming a chore has slowly broken me down?
our life is robotic now. we wake up, he leaves for practice, i stay home, i do school, he comes home for a pre-game nap, he leaves for a game, i still stay home, i go to bed, he comes home, repeat.
even worse when he’s away. what once started as facetime calls whenever he was free on a roadie, slowly died until it’s nothing but a few measly unsubstantial texts.
at first i thought maybe we were just going through a rough patch, that we would get through this, but now i fear we won’t.
***
my eyes track my boyfriend at the crowded rooftop bar as i nod my head, only half paying attention to what Ryleigh says.
Nico’s surprise party has been a success. for Nico, at least.
i, selfishly, thought i would use this party as an opportunity to grasp Jack’s attention. i wore the dress that he used to say was his favorite, but not once did he mention it. i curled my hair because i knew how much he loved it, but he didn’t compliment it how he usually does. i dolled myself up in hopes that it would glue him to my side. maybe even spark that possessiveness he used to hold for me.
but instead, all i got was a measly and empty ‘hey babe, you look nice.’ when i arrived, before he chased Dawson down to discuss some new bar he wanted to check out after their next win.
i spent the next hour following him around like a lost puppy, standing by his side as he spoke to his teammates. if he hadn’t had his hand resting on my lower back, i would’ve thought he forgot i was there. but somehow being forgotten would’ve felt better than being ignored.
i’m the best thing at this party, or at least i should be to him, and he barely spared me a second glance.
eventually, i saltily left to find the other wives and girlfriends. for the past three hours now, i sit with Ryleigh and Darya. Ryleigh is currently recounting she and Dawson’s date night last night.
the party has been dwindling down, our group of people among the bar slowly dispersing, giving their final birthday wishes to Nico and going home.
“what about you and Jack?”
“hmm?” i perk up at the mention of my boyfriend, dragging my line of sight away from said boy and back towards my friends.
“i asked about you and Jack. when was your guys’ last date night? how was it?” Ryleigh is only trying to be polite, i know that. but she’s only reminded me that Jack and i haven’t gone on a date in what has to be at least six months.
“honestly? i couldn’t tell you.” i confess. “i don’t even remember the last time we went on a date.”
“well, that’s not right! we should do a double date soon! i’ll have Dawson set it up.” she smiles. “ooh triple date! you and Yegor should come!”
“we’d love that!” Darya chimes in. i let out a polite smile, but i know it won’t happen. i’ve tried too many times to set up a date night and nothing ever comes from it.
“hey, baby. you ready to go?” Dawson saunters over, planting a kiss to his girlfriend’s cheek. Ryleigh nods, bidding Darya and i goodbye.
“hey, y/n? i think Jack was looking for you.” Yegor tells me as he comes over next, gathering his wife to leave for the night.
“he was?” my voice is filled with a pathetic hope, an excitement over even the thought of my boyfriend seeking me out. but when i look back to where i last saw him, he still stands next to his captain, laughing over something one of them said. “thanks, Shara.”
he smiles, the both of them now saying their goodbyes. and then there was one.
i sit by myself, lazily chewing the straw in my drink as i watch my boyfriend and his friend.
i quickly lose track of how long i sit there, ordering drink after drink. eventually, i stop watching Jack, opting for mindlessly scrolling through instagram instead.
“hey.” my head snaps up at Jack’s voice, watching as he finally joins me. my heart thumps in my chest, like i’m a teenager again, at the thought of spending time with him. “i think i’m ready to head home.”
my mood deflates, my shoulders slumping, but i nod, gathering my purse as Jack sets some cash on the bar top to cover my drinks from the night.
i wobble slightly as i stand, Jack’s hand coming up to hold onto my arm, making sure i don’t fall. heat spreads from the site of the touch, shivers racking my body.
“you okay, babe?” he chuckles, pulling me into his side as we walk to the elevator, pressing the down button and waiting for it to arrive. “how much did you drink?”
“i don’t know. maybe three? i lost count after the first hour alone.” i shrug, my words are slurred, a product of my tipsy state. “i started off with sprite, but i switched to gin and tonics once Darya left.”
Jack is silent as we get into the elevator, his brows furrowed and him seemingly in deep thought. the whole ride home is quiet, the air charged. i spend the whole drive with my head turned to look out the window. but as soon as we reach the parking deck of our apartment, getting out of his Range Rover, he speaks up again.
“you could’ve come and found me? i was just with Nico.” i’m silent for a moment, picking up my pace to try and reach apartment faster.
“i didn’t feel like being ignored again.” i shrug as we step through the door, the alcohol giving me obvious courage that i never had before.
“what do you mean ‘again’? i haven’t ignored you.” Jack follows behind me into our bedroom, his eyes tracking me as i sit on the bed and begin unfastening my heels.
“stop.” i sigh.
“stop what? y/n/n, when have i ignored you?” his genuine obliviousness hurts more than i thought it could. the fact that he didn’t even realize he was ignoring me; that it was just a subconscious reaction for him to push me aside.
“every day.” i tell him. my eyes start stinging with tears, finally ready to have the fight that i’ve so desperately been avoiding. but it’s obvious that Jack doesn’t feel the same.
“i’m sorry you felt that way.” he tells me, barely sparing another glance my way before he starts grabbing pajamas out of the dresser.
“you’re losing me.” my words are choked out in a whisper, but i know he hears them because i watch as he stiffens, slowly turning around.
“what?”
“Jack, this doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore. it feels like a job. a chore.” i confess. “it doesn’t feel like you love me anymore and i need you to just say it. because i love you too much to keep going on like this.”
“y/n-”
“we barely talk, Jack.” i cut him off. “when we do, we’re struggling through empty small talk. you’re barely home, and when you are, you don’t try and spend time with me. i sit in this house, alone, even when you’re here.”
“what are you talking about? y/n, we’ve been together for almost seven years. we’ve been through so much together.” his words are harsh, defensive.
“exactly! i gave you all my best me’s- i gave you my teenage years, i gave you all of my best years! i gave you all my empathy when you were being called a bust. when you were struggling in your rookie year and at your lowest. i sat here and comforted you after every loss! i stayed here and cried and tried to be brave every time you were gone. i defended you to everyone!”
tears roll freely down my cheeks, my nose becoming stuffy and my throat tightening. i’ve risen from the bed now, still keeping my distance from him though.
“and what do i have to show for it? an empty apartment? an empty relationship? we used to spend hours talking about marriage and our future. now, the last time i tried to bring that up, you all but told me you didn’t want to marry me.” i scoff. “and i can’t blame you, i wouldn’t marry me either; a pathological people pleaser.”
“don’t say that, please.” he whispers.
“but all i wanted was for you to see me, Jack! i’m here! i have feelings! i know it’s hard to believe, but i’m a person too! i need love! not whatever this has been.” my words fade off at the end, breaking off into sobs.
Jack’s eyes are red, tears of his own slowly descending as we stand in silence.
“do something, please. say something.” i plead, furiously wiping at my tears. i swallow a lump in the throat as he finally takes a step forward.
“i’m sorry.” his voice is shaky, breaking midst sentence. “i’m so sorry i didn’t know you were feeling this way. i’ve been so wrapped up in hockey and the team that i haven’t been here. not fully, at least.
“i took you for granted. i guess you’ve been this dependable force in my life for so long that eventually i forgot that you need more than just my presence.
“i do love you, y/n. i can’t imagine my life without you. i’ll be better, i promise. just, please, don’t leave.” he begs.
Jack steps forward, closing the distance between us and taking my face in his hands.
“i need you. i’ll always choose you.” his hands shake on my cheeks as he pulls me into a kiss. he pulls away, heaving out a broken mix between a sigh and a sob. “i’m so so sorry.”
“we can fix us. i believe that. but please, don’t put me through this again.” i beg, laying my forehead against his.
“never.”
#jack hughes#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes fic#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes imagine#nj devils#nhl fic#nhl blurb#nhl imagine#faithlynn’s writings <3
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I’ve actually never done a post outside of art but I just had to say… imagine if the Nightmares were never implemented
No like really imagine it
From the beginning of the egg event it’s been understood that the eggs have two lives (save for Juanaflippa because she’s a queen and rules don’t apply to her) and it was also clear on what it would take to keep the eggs alive. Multiple eggs have lost lives due to neglect (wether the CCs were simply unable to log on or not), any players who doubted the seriousness of the tasks realized the QSMP wasn’t playing games when eggs started loosing lives like with Juanaflippa, Tilín, and Trump
However, there were always going to be certain occasions where an egg dying simply wasn’t fair wether that be through uncontrollable lag, the game being weird, or OP mobs. Thus we have the Nightmares and while we can debate on the circumstances they’ve been used in I know we’re all grateful they exist.
But what if they didn’t?
What if despite certain deaths being unpreventable or unfair the Federation or QSMP (however you see it) stayed steadfast and showed no mercy to the parents still trying to process the sudden death of their children
If that was the case who of our beloved cast of eggs would still be here?
Unless I’m forgetting any Nightmares only two eggs would have survived until now
So what traumatic dreams turned reality would we have? With Juanaflippa, Trump, and Tilin all having permadied before the Nightmares began, we have Chayanne, Dapper, Bobby, Leonarda, Ramon, Tallulah, Richas, and Pomme (all under the assumption the Code would have still attacked eggs with one life)
[TW: This is essentially me writing about many of the eggs dying and their parents reactions to it sooo gore and death warning]
-
Let's start with one of our most beloved duos, Chayanne and Tallulah, yin and yang, one could not exist without the other, so on so forth. You know where this is going.
The eggs alongside their dad/abuelito head out at night in order to complete their tasks. The HorrorsTM are many but as long as they stick together nothing will harm them. After traversing the ocean for a while they catch sight of a flicker of light on the shore. A torch, a town. They dock and gather their things, Philza smiles at his bundles of love and curiosity as they spin around on the beach, ready to see what the village has in store for them.
Something white catches his eye, at first he mistakes it for a glowing bug of sorts, maybe a firefly, but something about the way it moves makes the paranoid part of his brain perk up. He watches as two small orbs of light move in eerie synchrony closer and closer to his children, like a predator stalking its pray. The eggs were too distracted to notice.
Philza opens his mouth to shout their names but a bloodcurdling scream steals his voice from his throat.
It happens within minutes. Philza Minecraft is powerful, stories of him and the warrior with pink hair spread far and wide, warning anyone foolish enough to stay out of his way. But, as he holds his children close and watches them slowly slip away, their blood staining the sand, he has never felt more weak. The universe is truly cruel, it keeps him alive just long enough to watch a final tear fall from his son's unfocused eye. When he dies it's with the knowledge that while he'll wake up in his home as if nothing had happened, his children won’t. When he rushes to the bunker where his son and granddaughter live he holds Tallulah tight. His chest barely stifles her sobs as his composure finally breaks.
His Chayanne is dead.
And despite his burning grief, his blistering anger. Innocent blood stains orange sand again as the Binary Entity spars no mercy for a girl who would never live to see her father again.
-
Let's keep this going shall we? Dapper and Badboyhalo are father and son, reaper of death and his shining apprentice, units of chaos complimenting each other perfectly.
Bad has always taken so much care to provide his son with everything he needs to protect himself. But, despite his constant need to protect his son he is also aware that Dapper needs to be free. No matter how much he'd like to if Bad were to just rap his incredible kid in a blanket and hold him close he knows Dapper would just be miserable. He needs adventure and danger and knowledge. Somehow Bad knows he got that from Skeppy.
And even though the fear of loosing his son claws at Bad's heart and the deadline draws near Bad decides that what is important is for Dapper to have that freedom. Besides they can have adventures and be safe at the same time.
Bad realized his misjudgment too late. It beat with certainty as his heart raced with his body as he sprinted past foe and monster, desperately trying to find his son in this horrible labyrinth of a dungeon. Dapper was hurt, they were bleeding, they were dying, and they were too far out of reach.
Bad’s throat ached as he screamed his son's name only to be forced back by the crowd of enemies overpowering him with ease. He has no protection anymore, his only hope being to keep running towards his son despite every hit he takes. It wouldn't matter how many times Bad dies, he won't stop fighting, but he knows every falter is another crucial moment lost for his son.
And despite every effort Bad is forced to watch as Dapper finally stills, he couldn't save him, he couldn't even hold him as he died. He failed.
He nearly broke in that moment, his eyes unable to look away from the broken body on the floor, his mind unable to process how impossible this was. His Dapper so full of life, always ready with a remark, always creating, always thinking, always- No, they still needed him. This was no time for Bad to grieve or freeze or scream. The only thing he could do now was find his son, hold them close, and get them home. Dapper still has one life, this wasn't the end.
They didn't have a scare like that again for a long time. When the Brazilians arrived Dapper was still in one peace. When the French arrived the Binary Entity tried its hand but it failed, Bad was quicker now and Dapper escaped.
He escaped but the Entity wasn't done quite yet.
It was night and there was no disappearance of the sun to warn Bad and Cellbit of the incoming attack. It was quick, planned, chaotic. While Bad and Cellbit were still fumbling to bear their weapons the Code destroyed what had foiled it before.
Dapper, racing the touch his father’s warpstone and bring himself to safety was met with only rubble. Undead swarmed them, lava covered the ground. It was so much worse than before. Bad could only watch in terror as Dapper fell to the floor, defenseless and he could only shout his name as monsters forced him farther and farther from his son. His mind flashed with images of that day as history repeated itself. Cellbit burned amiss the chaos as Bad was thrown off the antenna where the fight was taking place.
He fought with all his heart and all his soul to get back to his son but he knew as the ghouls cleared and the smoke diminished that he was too late. Bad climbed back up dreading what he knew he would see. He wasn't ready, it couldn't be true, his eyes would prove reality wrong.
Broken sobs carried through the night as a father held his son close.
A son who’d never outstand the world with their smile again.
-
Bobby is the first one this list to have truly died. We all grieved when it happened, he was taken too soon, but he could have been taken much sooner…
It was Jaiden’s turn to take care of Bobby. To say he was excited to take on another dungeon was an understatement. Her perfect angel had displayed a love for danger and violence for as long as she could remember. Many of the other parents were put off by it but Jaiden saw it as just another aspect of her son to love.
But to say she wasn’t nervous was also an understatement. Jaiden didn’t really do dungeons, she was jumpy and honestly didn’t do well under pressure. But with a task lingering in her hot bar and a restless son Jaiden felt it was about time to step out of her comfort zone a little. Besides it wasn’t like they were low on good gear.
It wasn’t long before the two found themselves in an airship above the ocean, quickly becoming overwhelmed. Every enemy packed a hit far worse than Jaiden had expected, their armor might as well have been made of leather.
She shouted to Bobby, she understood that if they didn’t get out of here soon they wouldn’t make it out at all.
The look in the boy’s eyes was conflicted, he was Bobby chingon, he never backed down from a fight! He pushed on but every foe he cut down only led to five more. His pointed ears twitched as he heard his madre call his name again, telling him to use the hole in the ground to escape.
Maybe Bobby was too hardheaded for his own good.
Jaiden watched with dread as monsters blocked off her son’s only exit. If he tried to reach it now he would surely be overwhelmed. She desperately slashed at the enemies around her as she inched closer to her son, fear climbing her throat as she realized the monsters had forced him to the ground, letting his life bleed out and stain the ground around them.
She screamed his name one last time, urgency poisoned and turned to terror. The monsters, content to let the boy slowly slip away, instead turned to the second intruder.
They pushed her back, overpowering her through force and speed. Jaiden’s heart tightened as she felt her foot settle on thin air. Suddenly she was plummeting through the very hole meant to save them.
The wind tore away her final words, a final cry for her son she knew she could no longer save. At least the had the ocean to hold her as she slipped away while Bobby remained, doomed to die alone.
Bobby enjoyed playing pranks on his apá. It was just the two of them on a hill at the edge of some island they were passing through on their adventures. Roier was busy messing with their speedboat so Bobby took this as his opportunity to test how long he could hold his breath underwater.
Roier grumbled as he struggled to get the boat to start up just right. Running his hand through his hair he took a moment to look around. He turned in confusion as he didn’t spot his hijo, certain he had just heard him splashing around a few moments ago.
He chuckles and shakes his head. Announcing to his hijo that he’d used this trick one too many times, he wouldn’t be fooling his apá again.
Silence stuck in the air, making Roier’s stomach turn uncomfortably. Sensing something was wrong he quickly called his hijo’s name, cupping his hands around his mouth and taking a few steps deeper into the water.
There was no response and Roier prepared to call again when he noticed something big moving under the water. A mixture of curiosity and wariness grew in the back of his mind as he swim far enough to dive under the surface.
The very second he dipped his head underwater he was jerked aside by the Binary Entity. In a panic he regained his posture and drew his sword, swimming as fast as his body would allow him whilst searched the water desperately for his hijo. He quickly spotted Bobby being chased down by the Code, fear capturing the boy’s face as the Code refused to let him resurface for air. Panic was engulfed by rage as Roier dug his sword into the Entity, doing everything he could to distract it and give his hijo a chance to escape. He new full well he couldn’t defeat it alone, but as long as Bobby made it out it didn’t matter what happened to him.
It was as if Roier was nothing more than a gnat. It continued its ceaseless attacks on his hijo as if he wasn’t even an afterthought. With each passing second Roier’s lungs burned deeper and deeper, his attacks slowing, and his thoughts growing hazy. His screams were muted by bubbles and water as he cursed terrible fates onto the Entity, demanding it release his hijo.
His hijo who had slowly stopped struggling.
The moment the Binary Entity realized the fight was over it was gone as quickly as it had come.
Roier wasted no time in using the last of his strength to drag his limp hijo to shore. He frantically pushed his ear against Bobby’s chest for any sign of a heart beat, barely acknowledging the water still clogging his own lungs.
With trembling hands Roier performed CPR on the child. Begging through thick tears for his hijo to wake up. Not like this. He’s too young. Not ten minutes ago we was running around on the same sand he was now dying on.
No one is with Roier to put a hand on his shoulder and tell him Bobby is gone.
Behind him the sun sets, paying a final homage to its most loyal admirer.
-
What about Ramón aye?
Ramón paced around the cold tile of his home. Heart beating deep in his chest. He wasn’t in danger, he knew that, but with every glance outside his window he could only think about the Code somewhere outside.
Maximus had left not too long ago, rushed him home when the Code attacked him and his siblings. Ramón had tugged on his cloak, demanding Maximus let him go outside and help the adults or at least be with his twin Dapper. Maximus had put his hands on his shoulders and told him with a stern but empathetic voice. Stay inside where it’s safe.
Ramón’s hand rested on the smooth metal of his door.
He pushed just slightly enough for a strip of sky to be seen. His mind was racing, a battle of what was right or wrong in this situation. Ramón wasn’t known to rebel but he was known for his curiosity and right now he needed to know that things were okay. The knowledge that he only had one life settled on his shoulders as he took a careful step outside.
His eyes carefully traced the skyline, blue, not black. The Code was sporadic but it had its consistencies and only attacking in the cover of darkness was one of them. Or so he thought.
It would be quick, he just needed to check that Dapper was okay. Then he could teleport right back home as if nothing had happened.
He didn’t waste anymore time, fastening his armor before sprinting towards the warpstone outside. He’s only a few yards away when he feels the hairs on his neck rise.
He could feel it before he even turned to look. His head slowly twisted, his eyes widening as he saw it. He’d never seen it so close before.
Ramón struggled to describe what he saw. Bright green zeros and ones raced across a writhing mass of black energy. It had no permanent features, rather it summoned whatever limbs or weapons it needed.
He didn’t know how but he could feel the monster lock eyes with him. Ramón stilled, unable to move, unable to see as its darkness seemed to suck in the very color from the earth around it.
Ramón thought back to every binary attack he had heard of or seen. Every time the beast had been ruthless in its attacks on the eggs and their protectors. Now, with the knowledge it had already gotten what it came for, it simply moved closer to the frozen child.
It slowed at the glint of a sword. Tilted its head in amusement as the boy in front of it bared his stance. His hands were trembling. In his eyes he knew he stood no chance against the Entity alone.
Ramón held his breath and tried not to think of his twins face as Bad told him the news. Tried not the think of Maximus returning to check on him, only to find him dead in the grass, his blood already dried. Tried not to think of Quackity, Maximus, Foolish, and Bad bringing Fit to the body of his son.
His son who was too stupid to listen.
The Entity had waited long enough. It happened faster than Ramón could blink. The boy lifted his hand to feel a warm slit in his neck. His brain told him he was choking, drowning as blood filled his throat.
The Code left as quickly as it came, knowing no one would find the boy until it was too late.
-
Then, of course, there’s our beloved Richas who’s had such a strong influence on the story and was at the heart of one my favorite arcs. Where would we be if he was never even around to start them?
It had been, quite frankly, a crazy fucking day for the Brazilians. Mike wasn’t sure what more the world could throw at them. Aside from the storm causing Felps to crash them into an island of course. But not just any island, nonono. One filled with people from across the world all supposedly trapped here by the Federation. Because the Federation is also a thing here. Mike honestly lost focus as a duck hybrid tried to explain it all to them.
The events after introductions were a blur of noise and new locations. Mike vaguely processes Pac pulling him across the Pizzería so Cellbit can take a group picture. He blinks again and they’re in a club, he has a glass in his hand and a smile on his face. He doesn’t know most of the people at the party but he could probably name one or two of the islanders if he tried. Pac uses his shoulder as support as he cheered for Forever as he took a stand on the stage. Mike could only take a moment to wonder where the blonde man had been during their whole tour.
He looks around in confusion as the party completely stops, every islander murmuring and looking at their communicators. Out of curiosity Mike takes his own out as well.
He reads a universal message from a user “QSMP”. Confusion settles in his stomach as the words register. Something about eggs being returned safety would usually make him laugh by how random it was. But, as the club clears out almost immediately Mike understands this must be something important.
Not ten minutes later Mike, Pac, Felps, Cellbit, and Forever gather in front of their new filho. Around them the islanders hold their shaken children close.
They named him Richarlyson.
The Favela needed supplies, Cellbit and Felps offered to go mining, Richas insisted on going with them.
Under normal circumstances it would be any old mining trip, but the two were quickly learning just how unpredictable this island was. Even though Felps and Cellbit were fairly decent at combat, the mobs were taking them easily.
Felps shouted for Richas to run for the exit. Only one mob was on them now. Cellbit turned heal to stand between his friend and filho and a towering skeleton. He tried to ignore his complete absence of armor and charged.
His sword lodged directly into its neck, a perfect hit. I proud grin almost formed on his face until he realized the monster remained completely unharmed. It’s head remained firmly on it shoulders as it’s hollow eyes turned its attention to Cellbit. A chill ran down the man’s spine.
When Felps looked back the creature had continued its chase, leaving a broken body in its wake.
The exit was still too far away. He’d spent less than a day with the child running beside him but he’d be damned if he let anything harm him.
Felps stopped running, unsheathing his iron sword. Richas faltered, clearly split between fighting with his pai and escape. Felps shouted to bring him to his senses, now could be his only chance to survive.
The monster only grew closer with steps that seemed to shake the caverns. The clanking of its heavy armor filled Felps ears as he charged.
He didn’t last very long either.
Richas cried out for the slight chance that anyone could hear them. That another person would just so happen to be in these same mines. That they could possibly step in at the last moment to slay the monster, save his pais, and take them all the safety.
He was halfway through the tunnel they came through when the monster yanked him back. Richarlyson yelped as he was harshly flung to the floor. He heard his pais shout his name, struggling to stand with their injuries.
Felps and Cellbit were forced to watch in horror as the skeleton raised its rugged axe.
They were forced to watch as their filho’s blood painted its blade more and more with each swing.
The next day would be even more merciless.
-
Phil sat on the sands of the beach. Distant eyes watched as Pomme played in the sand. Forever was hundreds of blocks above them, preparing a water jump.
A shakey hand wiped a tear that threatened to fall. He couldn’t help but see whispers of Chayanne and Tallulah in the footsteps of the young girl.
Six totems of undying hovered around her as she decorated a small sandcastle with imperfect seashells. Obsidian armor glimmered across her small frame, her fathers and mother had ensured she was fully protected at all times.
Even then Philza couldn’t shake the feeling that when the time came, it wouldn’t be enough. He took in a deep breath of salty air, trying to clear his mind.
Pomme’s giggles stopped as her eyes landed on something behind Phil.
He didn’t even have the chance to turn his head before it attacked.
Philza winced as stabbing pain shot through his torso. Pomme’s eyes widened with horror as a blade pierced clean through her oncle’s chest. She stumbled backwards as the Binary Entity removed its sword, splattering a trail of blood as it swung its weapon in an arc. Phil was dead before he hit the floor.
She heard the voices of her parents in her head, shouting for her to grab her crystal and teleport away. Before she could even reach into her pocket the Entity was on her.
Deafening booms exploded in her ears as her totems took the deadly blows for her. Each one crumbled in one hit. Tears fell from the child’s eyes as sparks of green and gold filled her vision.
The monsters roars prevented Pomme from even hearing herself think as her final totem shattered, leaving her at the Code’s mercy. None of this made sense, there was no moon, no mobs, no warning, no chance.
The monster saved its most powerful attack for last. In one swing Pomme’s armor was completely destroyed, her body talking the full blunt of the blow. The girl’s eyes widened as her body numbed with shock. A slow hand moved from her abdomen to her face, covered in blood.
Pomme blinked in confusion as her hand moved from one to three hands and then back again. The panicked voices of Forever, Etoiles, Antoine, and Bad all mixed together in her ears.
When she fell, two of her fathers were there too catch her, but they were too late to stop the bleeding. Pomme looked around for the Code, moved her hands to try to sign a warning. She felt them hold her hands in theirs and realized they must have found her alone.
As she drifted away she was in the presence of people who loved her. They whispered words of comfort, ones they weren’t sure if she could hear.
They swore she would never be alone again.
-
Okay damn so that took me TWO WHOLE DAYS TO WRITE but it was fun as hell so I’m not complaining. But I also love all the eggs to this was… painful to make at times
But yeah! Food for thought! The server would be so so different if even one of these deaths ended up sticking. And who was left? Welp today the only surviving eggs would be Leonarda and Pomme, both with one life because as far as I’m aware Leo has never had a Nightmare
You can probably tell who I watch more of with the individual POVs but I hope I did everyone justice nonetheless (I kinda got carried away with Dapper and Bobby’s parts, writing their Nightmares AND canon deaths but oh well) I’m happiest with Ramón’s ^_^
Anyway I’m gonna go rewatch Across the Spiderverse now, adios!
#qsmp#qsmp fanfiction#qsmp what if#qsmp writing#qsmp eggs#I haven’t written anything in like a month and this pulled me from my grave#qsmp nightmares#qsmp chayanne#qsmp tallulah#qsmp dapper#qsmp ramon#qsmp richarlyson#qsmp bobby#qsmp pomme#qsmp philza#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp tazercraft#qsmp cellbit#qsmp felps#qsmp jaiden#qsmp roier#qsmp maximus
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Thinking About Young Me.
Young me was awful. (Rambling mess of thoughts because of an interaction at work today ahead)
Young me was a selfish, melodramatic, maniacal jerk, who pushed away everything he knew. Young me gnashed his teeth at new things, old things, teachers, classmates, siblings (oh god, siblings), parents, everything. Young me was a sloppy, unhinged mess, who would be better off just being quiet and sitting at the back of the room. Young me should have, in retrospect, been in self contained classrooms, far from the others, at his own recess, doing his own assignments.
Young me was full of ideas.
Young me wanted to write big, sprawling redwall-esque stories about birds, and made up stories about the animals in the background of computer software. Young me played in the woods for hours, doing god knows what, annoying his sister and (especially) his older brother. Young me loved the swings. Young me loved cartoons. Young me loved so many, many things.
That love, it seems was just too loud. Too vocal, too obsessive, too fleeting. Young me would talk so long that he wouldn’t eat his dinner. It would make his mother and father sigh and rub their eyes in front of him. it would make his teachers shake their heads. It would make the other kids in class annoyed.
Young me was smart.
Young me remembered a million things about a million things. Young me would often get smiles and laughing ‘you’re stealing my thunder!’ comments from teachers. Young me made my friends laugh - friends who are still around, friends who’re dead - young me made them happy, if only for a bit. Between the ceaseless rambling and the inability to get any work done, young me was almost always the funniest kid in the room. The quickest with a joke, with a very mel brooks ‘say enough jokes and they’ll forget the bad ones’ approach. Raised on Homestar Runner and MST3K, young me had a very odd, stilted, but often hitting sense of humor.
Young me was scared.
Scared of the thoughts of others, of evil things, of spiders, of dying, of disease, of everything that was new, of everything that was old. Young me was a fucking pussy - just get on the goddamn roller coaster and shut up.
Young me is gone now. In a way.
Most people never get to see their younger selves. I see mine every day.
I’m a substitute teacher at the elementary level - 5-10 year olds, essentially. Every set of sub plans (and I mean EVERY set) has a note, with something to the effect of: “Students to watch for - (so and so) needs a lot of redirection, and has a hard time with others. Pay attention to them.”
I always do. I always watch.
I watch the inevitable team member first - always around my age, always chipper. “Good morning! I’m right down the hall - any questions?”
Even when I say So and So’s name, you can see their face contort. They don’t WANT to feel what they do - teachers don’t WANT to hate kids, despite what you may think. And I can’t say it’s hate - more...disappointment.
“Well, he’s very...well...you’ll see. But he’s a good kid, just...you know...”
My mother taught. I heard this from every teacher behind my back. You don’t need to tell me. I know the words.
Then, the kids roll in. You start to get certain class archetypes after a while - there’s always the helpful ones, the quiet ones, the ones with lots of friends.
Then, I get So and So, walking into the room, putting their things away, and plopping down, silently. No one comes over to them. I ask their name.
“So and So.”
And always, I think ‘THAT’S So and So? The problem kid?’
The “problems” start to show during morning meeting. So and So can’t sit still, So and So keeps interrupting with quips, So and So rolls around while a TA tries to get him to stop.
The worst part is the inevitable “Mr. (Snelly), I don’t wanna sit by So and So!” and you have to oblige. No one wants to sit by So and So.
Over the day, I see So and So, struggling to get work done. It’s a jumble of things to him. He can tell me obscure things about some stuff in the book we just read, but he canNOT, for the LIFE of him, put down what happened in the beginning, middle, and end. He’s making noise, distracting other students, and overall just being rowdy. (We’ve all been there, right? ...right?)
I have trouble with him in line, at lunch, but not at recess. At recess, he trudges around the playground. At recess, no one notices him, save to run or move. (It seems familiar, So and So’s recess routine).
So and So is a real tattle magnet. So and So seems to always be doing something wrong. When So and So finally does something I need to address, he seems used to the typical routines teachers have. He seems less used to my usual “I’m not upset, and you’re not in trouble, but you have to make a better choice than that next time” spiel.
I want So and So to succeed. Yes, I want So and So to stop singing “Down in Ohio” every time I turn my back because I made the mistake of telling the kids I taught there for a while (What is it with kids and Ohio these days, is there a meme I missed?) but I want So and So to do well. I wanna do right by So and So.
I see a lot of So and So’s. A lot of kids who the teachers just...don’t trust. I see in them something familiar.
I see fear. Fear of the thoughts of the others, a constant need to be on their good side, a constant want to be part of the it crowd.
So and So is scared.
Young me was scared, too.
I think about the things I say about my young self. I think about the words I say in my head when I remember my awkward classroom memories. I think of it a lot...and through all my teaching experience - from elementary music to this current job - I often wonder,
What if I said those things to So and So? They’d be old news, wouldn’t they?
Young me was difficult, and hard to work with, and temperamental. But every time I’ve ever seen a So and So, I always relate to them. And I always find them to be just as worthy as the others in the class. Just as kind. Just as important. Just as worthy.
One of my professors in college told me “Your job is to teach the kids who come into your room.” It sounds obvious, right? It sounds blatant - like telling a construction worker “your job is to build things”. No shit, moron!
Slowly, though, as I connected the dots between myself, So and Sos, and my favorite teachers, I began to realize that my least favorite teachers taught their favorites. Just like my least favorite team members, nowadays.
The difference, I think, is that many of my colleagues were the best and brightest, or the kindest.
I was So and So.
I was young me.
And Young Me deserves the same kindness as everyone else. My job, now, is to teach everyone who comes to my class. To be kind to them, to care for them.
My job is to teach So and So, too.
My job is to teach Young Me. And you sure as hell can’t teach someone if you hate them.
The new year, and the new job, has forced me to think about myself being a grown up. I am who Young Me wanted to end up as...in a roundabout way (I don’t own a bald eagle and I can’t ride a motorcycle, but I mean, I think I’m pretty cool).
Would Young Me be happy, hearing what I think about him? What I’m trying to unlearn about him? Young me would hate that. Young me would cry in his room, clutching a stuffed polar bear and looking out the window at the trees, before thinking about living in them.
I want to be someone who would’ve looked at Young Me and thought “I will do right by him”.
Your younger self may be different - in the case of a few people (my sister, especially) very different.
But if teaching my younger self almost daily has taught me anything, it’s that it’s important to be kind to them. They were you, after all.
And you have to do right by people.
Even your younger self.
#education#elementary education#thoughts#I just have a lot of feelings#A colleague said something boneheaded today and I'd rather not get specific#But please tell your younger self that you love them#No matter who they were#They deserve to hear it
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In The Interim
I must have read at least a dozen variations on the 'ancient and forgotten order of something or other is revived by the Chosen One and some ancient mentor or something' story, in which ancient relics or fortresses or holy places usually play a significant part. I've often wondered what happens to them in the interim, while their orders are scattered and their existence forgotten. I'm always fascinated by the generally elided parts of a story - what happens after the evil empire collapses, or while the dystopia is setting in, or the time between the fall and rise of the order of something or other.
Also, you know, I play Dragon Age. Skyhold is... inspiring.
---
There is an ancient fortress that waits in the mountains for the day when its people will return. Dust covers the floors, and many of the ancient statues have fallen.
I do not know what the fortress waits for. Was it an order of scholars? There was a library, with shelves full of scrolls and books. They are ancient and fragile now, so I never enter the room except to light a fire to dry the air, now and then.
It could have been an order of warriors. There are rooms full of ancient weapons. I know what a sword is, though I have never seen swords shaped like this. There are blades on long poles, like some strange mating of an axe and a spear, and other things I cannot name. What is not too rusted, I oil and tend.
Perhaps it was a religious order. There are many statues, and one motif that repeats often, a woman holding a lamp in one hand and a flower or leafy plant in the other. There are statues of her, and paintings on the walls, and even a mosaic of stones in one of the courtyards. I dust the statues and the paintings, and sweep the mosaic. In the room that seems to be a shrine, I keep a light burning on the altar, as the signs tell me others have done before me.
I don’t know what most of what I find signifies. There are chests full of faded and rotted fabric that was clothing once, but I do not know what the sigils mean. There are devices on shelves whose use I cannot begin to guess. There are letters or symbols carved into the stone in several places, but they are not in the language I know.
But there is a garden. Even after years of neglect, the soil is rich. I do not know the language the people here spoke, or why they lived here, but I know the herbs they used. I know the vegetables they ate. I recognised the bones of chickens and goats, when I dug in their midden for fertiliser. I found the bird cotes, and replaced rotted perches and lured the pigeons which had gone wild back with seeds and insects from the garden.
Some of the perches were large, too large for any pigeon. I don’t know what birds roosted there. But sometimes I see a large bird circling high up, a crow or a raven, and I wonder if it’s a descendant of those birds.
The kitchen has been used more recently than the other rooms. In a small room off the kitchen I found an old straw bed, and clothing that is not too unlike my own. And on the wall of that room, scratched on the stone, I found a series of crude drawings.
A figure in long skirts walking up a slope between trees. A crude representation of the fortress. The same figure, standing in the garden, with crude plants around her feet and what are probably meant to be birds in the air over her head.
These I read easily. “I climbed the mountains and found this place. I lived here.”
The next row was different. The same figure, repeated several times. Then a crude outline of a skull. Then a door with a symbol on it. It took me a while to figure that out.
Then I found the door with that symbol, deep below the fortress. When I opened it – cautiously, remembering the skull – I smelled the faint memory of decay.
When I went down, I found an ancient crypt. There were niches in the walls, like narrow beds one above the other, and ancient bones within them. Some had the rusted remains of armour, some the dusty shreds of what might have been robes.
And I found other bones. They were not in niches, but laid on the floor at one end of the room. Twelve complete skeletons were there, and I could see, looking at them, that they were not all the same age. One, at the far right, looked almost as ancient as the bones in the niches. The one on the left still had shreds of flesh here and there, and hair spread around its head. When I examined that one, I found that one of the legs was broken, and had not healed.
They are all women, I think. The newest is still wearing skirts, and I can see the decayed remains on some of the others. What hair remains is long, though it is not certain that either man or woman living in this isolation would cut their hair, and some bones are still encircled by bracelets or necklaces.
They were called here, I think, as I was.
There is a long history of hermitage, among my people. It is more common among men than women, but now and then one will be moved to retreat from the world into solitude and contemplation. Usually they are moved by a god, or go to tend some sacred relic or shrine.
I was alone in the world, when I felt the calling. I packed up my belongings, bade farewell to those few who might miss me, and set out to walk into the mountains. I did not know where I was going, but I knew I was going somewhere. And then…
Then I found this place, and I knew. It is empty, but it is not abandoned. It is only waiting. Waiting until its people come back, until some great need calls them, or destiny, or the turning of the wheel. And while it waits, it is… lonely, perhaps. So it calls out, to those who are right, who will be content in this quiet solitude, who will feed the pigeons and tend the garden and light fires in the library and oil the weapons.
The woman before me broke her leg. Perhaps it bled too much, or wound-rot set in. She must have known she was dying and dragged herself down to lie beside the others. When I know my time is coming, I will go too. If I do not have warning, if death comes quickly, I conjure you who come after me to carry my bones down to that crypt, to lie beside my sisters in peace, until the fortress lives once more.
I leave this record in hope that it will help the next hermit who comes, when I am only bones. And if you who read are no hermit, but coming in some dire need or peril, if you come to awaken again what sleeps here, to give the lady with her flower and her lamp a name, or perhaps to earn your own, then welcome, for we have kept this fortress against your coming.
It has been waiting for you.
(This short account, written on parchment, is preserved by the Order as one of its most precious relics. During the Interim, the period of almost eight hundred years in which the Order was largely forgotten and the fortress was left empty, sixteen women are believed to have been ‘called’ to preserve and tend it. Aside from the bodily remains in the crypt, and a few images scratched into a wall, this is the only evidence they chose to leave of their existence. None have ever been identified, and the parchment is unsigned. Nevertheless, the sixteen Guardians are venerated by the Order for their faithful, solitary service to powers whose name they never knew, and their bones are entombed together, side by side in death as was their wish. Without their care, we believe, there would have been little left for the revived Order to return to.)
#short story#original fiction#those who never see the end of the story#are still important to the story#the Chosen One may come in time#but someone has to sweep the floors#and tend the garden#and keep decay at bay#in the interim
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Follow you - Chris Evans smut
The one where Chris becomes your roomate and finds out he has a domesticity kink... and more
Warnings: Smut, breeding kink, domesticity kink, friends to lovers, rommates au, pandemic mention, hair-pulling kink, daddy kink, cockwarming, kind of allusion to an age gap, but can be read as reader being into teasing chris
Word count: 4.1k
A/N: Thanks to @mollygetssherlockcoffee for reading this over and helping me make it better! You’re the sweetest person ever! this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them. Hope you guys like it!
Chris’ P.O.V.
“C’mon, sweetheart,” I’d been trying to convince her to close her laptop for the last two hours, unfortunately without any luck. She just glanced at me before returning to her document, and I groaned as I left the living room in search of what I knew we needed.
“Close the laptop and I’ll give you a sip.” This time when she looked up, she found me holding a bottle of my most expensive whiskey, the one she’d been dying to try ever since she first got invited to my place.
It was a tense moment of evaluation while she took in my offer and her workload, her head turning from her computer to me and then back to the device again, and I found himself growing anxious because of how desperately I wanted her company that night.
“Please?” I tried to convince her, even going so far as to pout - which at least earned me a giggle. I considered it a win, especially with the way it made my chest warm up. “C’mon, we deserve it! After the week we had?”
She frowned when she thought back on the stresses we had confided in each other for the last couple of days, and I watched with glee when she slowly closed her laptop, prompting me to wave my arms around in victory. “We?” She teased, getting up to stand before me with her arms crossed in front of her body, making me laugh.
“Alright, so maybe just you.” I couldn’t really deny that my work “problems” paled in comparison to hers. “Listen, I’m only trying to help.” She narrowed her eyes at me, reaching out for the bottle and unscrewing it before taking the sip I’d promised.
“Shit, this really is good.” A smug smile took over my face as I wrapped my arms around her, walking us back to the couch before making us fall over it.
“Only the best for you, babe.” I watched her roll her eyes at the pet name, snickering at how it affected her. I knew it made her giddy and she hated it, it’s why I insisted on doing it - or so I told myself.
Something deep inside of me whispered differently, though. I tried to ignore it. She was my best friend and we were going to be living together for the foreseeable future. No one knew when this pandemic would let up.
And lord knows that nothing positive had ever come out of my investments in romantic relationships. So every rational thought in my mind was begging me not to overcomplicate this. I couldn’t stand to lose her friendship, anyway. That’s why I had invited her to spend lockdown with me - my need to know she was okay, and be able to have her around whenever I needed to vent.
She was the only one outside my family who got my anxiety well enough to help me work through it when I was feeling bad, and she had even been able to prevent me from having panic attacks more than once.
I just couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone other than her. I simply hadn’t anticipated how fucking horny this period of forced sexual privation would make me, and I never expected her to become a willing victim to my needs.
But boy, once the liquor hit and she ended up over my lap, shivering as she rode my thigh without a care in the world, was I glad that she did.
“Is this what you like?” I asked, looking up at her with my mouth hanging open, unbelieving of how fucking sexy she looked as she used my body for her pleasure. I didn’t even care that my cock was straining against my jeans, begging me to move her on top of it. As long as I could keep enjoying the show, being a part of it, I was satisfied.
“I wanna learn it,” I pressed, moving my hands to hold her ass, squeezing it the way I’d always wanted to do but never allowed myself to dream about. “I wanna learn how to please you.” She made me feel something I hadn’t felt before, in any of my past relationships. There was attraction, of course, but there was also this deep, familiar feeling that made me feel at home. It made me feel safe, and with the help of alcohol, I was desperate to explore it.
“Ugh,” she groaned, letting her head fall back, drawing my attention to her breasts, the way they bounced in front of my eyes, unfortunately still covered. My mouth watered at the sight of it, wanting nothing much than to strip her bare and wrap my lips around one of her nipples.
“Don’t say stuff like that, Evans.” The comment threw me off, making me frown as I took a hold of the hair on the back of her head and yanked her to me, devouring her lips. They were soft - so much softer than I’d ever allowed myself to imagine.
“Why not?” I panted against her mouth once I was forced to separate from her taste of whiskey to search for some oxygen. She kept moving, her eyes hazy and glossed over, and it sent a pang of lust straight down my body when I realized it wasn’t completely due to the drinks we shared. There was also desire in there.
“You want to learn?” She asked, hands bunching up my shirt as she used her hold to grind against me faster. “Then fuck me, Chris.” She molded her body to mine, engulfing my lips once more as I laid her down on the couch, excited to have her underneath me - excited to see her naked body, explore it, get to know every little thing that made her tick.
I knew it would be a moment I’d forever remember, regardless of the amount of bourbon in my blood. I just never expected it to become something I was so eager to relive over and over and over again.
It was supposed to be a one time thing. When I woke up in the morning, I was ready to go back to being roommates. We were good at that. She was a morning person, by the time I woke up every morning, she already had breakfast ready for me, and then we’d go out to the backyard to let Dodger out together.
We’d sit and talk and then I’d go for a run - she’d have done her yoga already, while I was still asleep - I’d answer some e-mails, she’d work on her laptop by my side and the silence was just as comfortable as all of our late night conversations.
She’d sneak out to the kitchen and come back with a few sandwiches for our lunch, and then the rest of the day would go by with us doing whatever mundane task we had in mind, together even if we were doing separate things, and I didn’t feel suffocated.
I didn’t even run out of things to say. By the time dinner rolled around and I followed her back to the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes while she fixed us dinner - I wasn’t allowed to cook in my own stove, mostly because she was terrified of my food but hid it under the excuse of that one time when I started a fire - then we’d eat together, watch a movie together, talk until we fell asleep - always together.
I was shocked. It’d never been this way in any of my previous relationships. In fact, I was certain it was the reason why they had never worked. I’d given up on any realistic expectation of settling down precisely because of this: I just never expected to find anyone with whom a day-to-day life wouldn’t eventually grow boring.
It’d been three months and I still loved to wake up to her coffee. We still fell asleep every night side by side, too tired to move into different beds because we had laughed our asses off after skyping Scott.
And now that sex came into play in our relationship? I just knew there was no way I’d ever go back to being nothing but friends - or living in a place where she wasn’t the first person I saw when I woke up.
It sucked that it took a pandemic and a night of alcohol to make me realize that, but damn, was I grateful that I decided to open a bottle of whiskey that evening.
I kept waiting for the catch, the moment it would all go to shit, but it never came. Our lives resumed to how they used to be, only now I had this ongoing inner battle to not just bend her over the nearest piece of furniture when we were busy, and the ability to do exactly that whenever there was nothing else to do.
And for a while it was bliss. There wasn’t a nagging voice inside my head questioning this arrangement because it was theoretically perfect. I had a best friend, a roommate and a fuck buddy, all wrapped into one single person that I adored.
Life couldn’t possibly get better - until I realized that I wanted more. Talks of lockdown being over started and she had plans of going back to her place, of course, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.
I wanted to see my family too, but I wanted to take her with me. Introduce her to my mom, see her get along with my sisters. Witness how she’d be with my nephews and nieces - I knew how much she loved kids. And that’s when it hit me.
I’d given my heart to her. Somewhere between the morning coffees and afternoon runs, the nights where I’d rant about all of my silly problems and she actually listened to them - really listened, never making me feel bad about what could only be described as rich people problems.
All the innocent little gestures, and the not so innocent ones - when I discovered she was exactly the nasty slut I’d always dreamed of, the way she would randomly drop to her knees and suck me off, even while I was on the phone. Most times she didn’t even let me repay the favor. She just genuinely liked to blow me.
She also liked to play with me randomly, like when we were watching a movie and she mindlessly reached for my crotch, rubbing me until I got hard. It almost always ended in sex, and I just loved it.
I loved it, and I loved her, and the idea of her ever sharing this idyllic lifestyle with anyone else made me irrationally jealous.
And that’s how I knew it. I didn’t want to mess it up. But how could I not fuck this up?
Xxx
“Chris…” Her sweet voice called out to me, reaching my ears while I was hiding in my office, trying to get my thoughts in order so I wouldn’t just randomly blurt out what I was feeling for my best friend to my best friend.
To her credit, she didn’t try to force me to keep her company - but that only made me fall even deeper for her, leaving me a complete and utter mess while she went about her day as if nothing was wrong in the world.
“Yes?” I looked up to see her by the threshold, clearly reticent about invading my privacy. It made me smile, thinking back on all of the times my exes hadn’t been as understanding, even after I let them clearly know what I was needing.
“I made cupcakes, do you want me to bring you one?” The thought of her in the kitchen, baking a sweet treat just for me had my cock twitching in my pants. Biting my lips, I pushed away from my desk to finally get up and stretch my legs, taking advantage of the monitor to hide my hard-on.
“No, I’ll come eat them downstairs with you.” She smiled before leaving, and I soon trailed after her, walking into the kitchen to find the most delicious-looking little treats, just waiting to be devoured.
Much like her, I supposed.
I was reaching for one of them, already licking my lips in anticipation when something caught my eye, prompting me to raise my gaze and look at her again, but really look at her this time.
She was wearing an apron.
There was nothing inherently sexual about the damn thing, but the way she looked with it, going about her business in my kitchen like she owned the place… It just felt right, seeing her there.
And suddenly I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Y/N…” I started, leaving the cupcake back on the counter and brushing off the crumbs as I circled the kitchen island to go stand in front of her. She hummed before turning to meet me, smiling slightly to signal that she was listening to what I had to say.
But I didn’t know how to say it. So we just stood there, staring at each other until eventually her smile became a frown. “Chris, what’s going on?” I still couldn’t speak. Much to my absolute surprise though, she just sighed, wiping her hands on the apron while shaking her head, a knowing smile on her face.
“You’re stressed, aren’t you? You’ve been working so much, that’s why I thought the cupcakes would be a good idea,” she explained nodding towards the tray where her sweet treats laid. “They’re a reward and a break all wrapped in one delicious cake.”
The comment was like a punch to the stomach - or a scalding wave of desire rushing through my body, straight to my groin. The idea of her thinking about my needs and catering (quite literally) to them just did something to me, and I didn’t know how to explain it - I don’t think I understood it myself.
“But since they didn’t work…” she continued, blissfully unaware of the conundrum she had put me into. “I know something else that will definitely work.” And just like that, the woman dropped to her knees in front of me, reaching for my sweatpants before I could find a way to close the mouth that was hanging open.
“I guess I’ll grab a sweet treat for myself.” She looked so devious, small hand encircling my already pathetically engorged member, that all I could do was whisper an, “Oh, shit,” when she immediately wrapped her lips around it, starting to suck me off without any preamble.
My fingers were white as I held onto the counter behind me to keep myself up. She looked so good, staring up at me with her lips wrapped around my dick, I felt like I was about to blow already.
Why did she have to be such a fucking tease?
“Oh, God,” I moaned when she managed to engulf the entirety of my member inside her throat, the choking noises getting to my head. My hand instinctively laced with her hair, first to hold her lips close to my navel, then to pry her completely off of my member.
“What’s wrong?” She questioned once she was able to speak, surprise written all over her features while I was still staring down at her slightly teary face and trying to find my voice.
“I-I have a problem.” There. I said it. I had finally made some progress in my goal to let her know what was going through my head. Only instead of curiosity, what I got was a confused expression from the woman still holding my dick, her eyes darting from my own to the member throbbing between her fingers.
“No, you don’t!” It would have been funny if I wasn’t so fucking frustrated. Yanking her by the hair, I complained, “Not that kind of problem!” pulling her to the living room so I could throw her on the couch, trying to ignore her moans of pleasure in the process.
I’d figured out pretty early on that she had a pretty serious hair-pulling kink, and if my plans of sitting down and having a level-headed conversation were ever in motion, they surely went out of the window the second she pulled my body down to cover hers and adjusted my cock so it would easily fill her.
“Son of a…” I groaned, letting my head fall down against her chest as the little vixen gleefully giggled underneath me, legs wrapped around my torso as she tried to thrust up and tempt me to move.
“Just wait a second,” I managed to reason, but she just shook her head.
“Fuck away your problem, Chris. Use me. I want you to.” Motherfucker. I really couldn’t catch a break with her. Just as she started to make me move again, my hand instinctively wrapped around her neck, lightly squeezing it just enough to get her to shut up.
“I wanna start a family with you,” I finally spilled, looking deep into her eyes as I tried to ignore that I was still balls deep inside of her. Her eyes widened, and now her mouth was the one hanging open.
I couldn’t really relish in it because she looked absolutely delicious and she felt stupidly heavenly to my throbbing dick.
A few seconds went by without as much of a reaction from her and I was about to pull out - despite still being achingly hard - but her legs held me tighter, stopping my plans of leaving her tight haven.
“You know…” She started to speak, a little out of breath, catching my attention as I finally gathered the courage to look her in the eye again. “When I first met you, I thought you were the epitome of a fuckboy.”
The unexpected sentence had me snorting, and then I just couldn’t stop laughing. Finally pulling away from her, she fixed her hair when she sat up and I did the same, shaking my head slightly as I rubbed my eyes.
Our own relative nakedness - well… mine, she was wearing her usual dress with no underwear under the damn apron - didn’t affect anything when I pondered over her words, until I decided to break the silence.
“I mean… I think I was?” She chewed on her bottom lip as she took in my response, analyzing it, weighing its validity in that gorgeous head of hers. I was nervous, but she hadn’t blew me off yet. And quite honestly? I’d do anything for that little hope that was growing inside of me.
“What changed?” Was her question, so unexpected I couldn’t help but question, “Huh?”
“What made you change?” It wasn’t an unwelcome inquiry, especially when the response became clear to me, lighting up my brain and warming my chest, spreading all over my body until I had no choice but to voice it.
“I realized I could have a future with you.” My smile was vulnerable but honest, and in her eyes, I could see that she knew that. When she threw one leg over my lap, straddling my hips, I allowed myself to breathe deeply again, leaning on the soft cushion while taking a hold of her ass.
“So, how are we gonna do this?” She non-nonchalantly asked, slowly rubbing herself against my still half-hard member. I groaned when I realized the implication of her words, knowing that the meaning paired with the feeling of her wet lips dragging along my cock would get it back up in no time at all. “You wanna do me right now?”
The brashness of the question made my eyes light up, as weird as it may sound. In that moment, it became clear just how perfect for me she really was, giving me what I needed exactly in the way I didn’t know how to ask for it.
“See? This is why I’m in love with you.” She rolled her eyes at that, making me laugh. I’d anticipated the gesture, I knew it’d take her longer to say it, but it was alright. The fact that she was willing me to give me a child was more than enough proof of her feelings for me, if her entire behavior ever since she moved in wasn’t already.
“Shut up and fuck me, Evans.” Throwing her back against the couch, she yelped in surprise when I took off my shirt and slapped the inside of her thigh, assuming my usual position of hovering over her smaller frame.
“Spread your fucking legs, darling. I’m gonna fuck you real good.” The way she bit her lip as I slowly penetrated her again showed me just how excited the prospect got her, and as I started to make good on my promise, her moans told me just as much.
“Holy fuck,” she commented as I pounded her ruthlessly, weeks of frustration and the rush of anticipation getting the best of me, and I was glad for the feeling of her nails biting into my skin because otherwise, I’d probably run over the edge of not even caring about her own pleasure as I chased mine.
“You gonna cum inside of me, honey? Make me a mom? Finally fulfill your dream of becoming a daddy?” Her words detracted me from my task of sucking bruises on the skin that was now mine to bruise, mine. I threw my head back, yelling a, “fuck yes,” as my hips sped up, desperate to fill her up, but I was determined to get her to cum before me.
“Say it,” she ordered, small hand circling my throat as best as she could, a throwback to what I’d done only moments prior. It wasn’t enough to choke me, but it did catch my attention. “I wanna hear you say it.”
Tears escaped the corners of my eyes as I blinked, the intensity of the moment overwhelming in the best of ways. “God, you are such a fucking tease…” She chuckled underneath me, giving my throat a squeeze before she raised up on her elbows to kiss my jaw.
“Better get used to it… daddy.” And just like that, I realized that I had yet another kink I hadn’t known about before her. Or maybe it was just her, and I was obsessed with the damn woman, painfully turned on by every little thing that she did.
“I’m gonna cum deep inside your little pussy, sweetheart,” I finally gathered myself enough to do as she asked me to. “You’re gonna belong to me forever now. Give me kids, make me happy. How do you like that?”
The mischievous grin she gave me told me everything. “I love it.” I knew this was her way of saying what she couldn’t yet voice, and I’d take it. I’d take anything she gave me, any chance I got to love this wonderful woman.
We came together, both riding our highs in deep ecstasy. I moaned when I felt myself empty all of my seed inside of her, incredibly excited about the prospect of starting our future together right then.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I cradled her face in my hands as I struggled to catch my breath, but she turned it to the side and pressed a kiss to my palm and I was breathless all over again. It was such a simple action, why did it get to me so much?
“You’re not too bad yourself, Chris.” I didn’t want to part with her warmth, so I just adjusted us on the sofa in a way that kept me inside of her, sighing contently as I realized I’d never have to sleep away from her again.
“I’m gonna stay right here all night.” I adjusted myself so I was resting my face on her boobs, perfectly happy to do just so, but by the tone of her voice, I knew she had a teasing smile when she called me an, “Old man.”
“And here I was, thinking you’d be able to go again.” Warmth filled my chest at the realization of just how badly she wanted me - just as much as I wanted her too. I was so damn ecstatic. Not even her pokes at my age would be able to affect me.
“Oh, darling… better get ready,” I warned as I adjusted myself to hover over her again, taking notice of the excited glint in her eyes, the way she bit her lip as she stared back at me. “I’m never gonna get enough of you.”
The next morning, I added a new kink to the list of random bits of information that were driving me slowly insane as I felt the overwhelming need to bend the woman that I now got to call ‘mine’ over the nearest piece of furniture and rail her until I had cummed deep inside her pussy: seeing her in my shirt while cooking breakfast.
Yeah, I was going to live a happy life by her side.
#my 2k challenge#chris evans smut#my fics#chris evans#smut#roommates au#friends to lovers#chris evans x reader#chris evans reader#chris evans reader insert#chris evans reader inserts#RPF#chris evans fanfiction
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(ALCHEMY OF SOULS EP 20 SPOILERS)
Okay, so, should the last half hour have started in like episode 19 at least? Yes. Did the fake Boo Yeon story bore me to tears? Yes. Did the meandering plot drive me to distraction many a time? Yes. Did two straight episodes of Daddy Jang wandering around the city, making sure he got in his 20,000 steps before finally showing up to join the drama and promptly anti-climactically dying have me pulling my hair out? Yes. Did the fitful doling-out of backstory and exposition make me seriously fear that the Hong sisters were making it all up as they went along? Yes. Did the show frequently veer towards wacky comedy when I wanted it to be a plot-focused emotional fantasy drama? Yes. Did spending 19 full episodes following a kick-ass assassin who couldn’t use any of her powers get old at a certain point? Yes.
BUT.
Did I really love this show? Yes! Am I deeply psyched for December? Yes. Did I love the dynamic between Mu Deok/Naksu and Wook, the fearsome assassin made humble and the arrogant young lord who served his maid as his master? Hell yeah. Did my heart kind of break for Yul, the quiet loner who was condemned to nurse a secret love and could never share his pain with anybody? Even though Minhyun doesn’t have a ton of emotional range? Surprisingly, yes. Did I enjoy most of the side characters and the worldbuilding? Yes. Am I genuinely invested in this story of mixed-up births and bodies and mysterious destinies written in the stars and honestly pretty cool-looking water magic? Yes.
I love dramas that take chances. I think Alchemy took some chances--it’s full-on fantasy, with no built-in frame of reference for the audience and it heavily relies on CGI, which isn’t an easy combination on a TV budget. And I acknowledge that it was far from perfect--I can only imagine how much more powerfully the ending of this episode would have landed if the potential of Jin Mu controlling Naksu could have been established early on, so that the dread could build as we were led towards this loss of her autonomy, which in a horrible twist of irony was also the moment in which she regained her power. If her rampage could have lasted longer, we could have seen more clearly how each character reacted to her violence and her true identity, and then we could have sat in the aftermath, really felt the moment of absolute loss that was Wook’s death. With better pacing, this could have all hit so much harder. But I did enjoy the journey, and I loved where we ended up. Wook walking out of his own funeral pyre? Incredible! Naksu losing everything in the cruelest way possible? I was compelled! Jin Cho Yeon having the worst month imaginable? I actually felt pretty bad for her! And most importantly, I really want to see what happens next.
I know there’s been a lot of chatter about the female lead for part two. I have really enjoyed Jung So Min’s performance, and would be happy to continue watching her. And I am a little confused about whether she truly won’t be in part 2 at all, since the fact that she is playing Jin Boo Yeon’s body would imply to me that she’s still a player in this story. But I’m also excited to get Naksu’s true form back, for a few reasons: 1) I really liked Go Yoon Jung in the first episode and am eager to see her get to perform the role again; 2) As I mentioned, I found it frustrating to watch a character who was initially defined by her immense power continuously have no access to that power. I’m hoping that with Naksu back in her own body, she can truly be Naksu, rather than Mu Deok; 3) If we’re hoping for a happy ending between Naksu and Wook (and I for one am!), then it could never be with her having hijacked someone else’s body. She did it to survive, sure, but every second she spent in Boo Yeon’s body was a theft. Boo Yeon deserves her body and her life back.
Okay, that was way longer than I planned! But yeah, I get people losing patience with this drama; I can’t deny that I myself did on occasion. But I’m so excited for part 2 (everyone got a haircut!) and overall I had a great time!
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heart-on.
↳ your one-night stand definitely isn’t relationship material, but maybe—just maybe—your manager’s son is.
◇ hoseok x reader ◇ smut | strangers to lovers!au ◇ 10.1k [1/1]
❛❛ my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick ❜❜
notes: welcome to the first installment of the serendipity series! we’re starting with hoseok, because, well, have you met me? 🤣 be warned, however, that this isn’t anywhere near as edited as i’d like so i’ll probably give it another read/edit tomorrow but for now!!! here it is!!!
⇢ series masterlist. | inspired by this post.
warnings: dirty talk bc hoseok’s got a bit of a mouth on him, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, kids!), sexting. dick pics, obvi. brief mention of a dead pet goldfish :(
You’re refilling your mug when you hear it. Voices filter out from the kitchen, floating past the coffee station where you’re pouring yourself another drink and hanging in the open air of the hallway that leads back to the rest of the office. They’re familiar voices, too—voices that belong to the resident gossips of your workplace. Lottie’s pitchy, nasal tone melds with Hyejin’s higher one, their conversation interrupted every so often by an exaggerated exclamation or gasp from Sandra, the third and final member of their trio.
“Haven’t you heard? Carolyn’s divorce was finalized over the weekend, the poor thing.”
“I can’t even begin to imagine how she’s feeling. I mean, getting back into dating at her age? Goodness!”
“And now she’ll be all alone at the holiday party, too. How sad is that?”
“It’s tragic. Poor thing.”
Rolling your eyes, you grab a packet of sugar and tear it open, upending it over your mug and watching the crystalline granules fall into the dark liquid within. You know for a fact that Sandra and her husband can’t even stand to be in the same room for an extended period of time, considering how they’d spent most of last year’s holiday party talking to entirely different groups of people. You’d sat two tables away from them during dinner, and they hadn’t even made eye contact once. And as for Lottie and Hyejin, well, you’re certain that their relationships aren’t much better. All three of them are miserable people as far as you’re concerned, and you make a mental note to check in on Carolyn—a sweet woman in her thirties who always keeps chocolate bars in her purse—on your way back to your desk.
“Sheesh. Vultures, the lot of them. Don’t you think?”
You whirl at the sound of your manager’s voice. Kyunghee Jung is a dark-haired woman in her late fifties, and she laughs when she sees your startled expression, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Easy! You’ll spill your coffee if you’re not careful.”
“I’ll probably have a heart attack first,” you reply, pressing a hand to your chest. “What was your job before this? Some kind of intelligence operative? Are you a super spy?”
Kyunghee laughs again and joins you at the counter. “Nothing even remotely as exciting as that,” she answers, plopping her mug down beside yours. It’s decorated with what looks like every color of the rainbow, a massive smiling sunflower taking up the majority of the surface, and the only remnant of the ceramic’s original color is on the very edge of the handle where there’s a lopsided little patch of white. The piece is clearly handmade, and a stark contrast to the simple mint green cup that houses your coffee. Looking at it, it’s impossible not to smile.
“I love that,” you remark, inclining your head at her mug. “Was it a present from one of your kids?”
“Hoseok,” she confirms, running a fingertip along the imperfect handle fondly. “I’ve told you about him before—he’s right around your age.”
You chuckle. “Right, I remember. That’s why he’s the perfect match for me, right?”
“Come now, there’s more to it than that,” Kyunghee defends, waving a hand. “But yes, to answer your question. He gave it to me as a birthday present when he was eight.”
“Well, you never told me he was an artist,” you tease. “Does he have an Etsy? Can I buy one of these off him? Does he do custom orders, maybe?”
Normally, your manager is more than happy to play along with your jokes, but today Kyunghee fixes you with an uncharacteristically serious look. “Why don’t you ask him yourself?” she asks. “He’s coming to the holiday party, after all. I figured you could finally meet.”
You blink. Kyunghee has been making offhand remarks about how well you would get on with her son, Hoseok, for over a year now, but you’ve never even come close to broaching the topic of meeting him. You don’t even know anything about the man beyond the fact that his name is Hoseok and that he works somewhere downtown. He also favors tall socks and yellow suspenders if the framed photograph on Kyunghee’s desk is any indication—or at least, he certainly did when he was still in diapers. Whether he still does, is anyone’s guess.
“Wow, I had no idea he was even interested in coming,” you manage when you’ve recovered from your surprise. “Did you bribe him?”
If Kyunghee notices that your voice is a few pitches higher than usual, she doesn’t remark on it. “Oh, you know. I just told him that this would be his last chance to score free booze on the company’s dime.” She laughs. “Three more months and it’s going to be all beaches and sunshine for me. I might even become a cruise person in my retirement.”
You gasp and slap a hand to your heart. “Kyunghee! Think of the environmental impact!”
“I said I might!” she retorts immediately. “Sheesh. Even in my old age, it’s hard to conveniently forget how shitty and unsustainable those damn boats are.”
You pick up your mug and raise it in a salute. “Well, the oceans thank you.”
“My husband doesn’t,” she answers with a sigh. “He’s been dying to book one of those trips that stop all along the Mediterrannean coastline, and I can’t exactly blame him.”
“That is tempting,” you admit. “You’ll have to send photos, if you do end up going.”
“You’ll be sick of me and my photos before the first day is even up,” she promises. Then she pauses, her eyes darting toward the kitchen where silence has fallen in the last few minutes. “Speaking of being sick—you think the vultures are still hovering around in there? I haven’t had lunch yet, and I need the microwave.”
Obligingly, you edge a little closer to the kitchen doorway and poke your head around the frame, scanning for Lottie and her sidekicks. “Coast is clear. Enjoy your lunch, Kyunghee.”
She nods and raises her mug at you, returning your salute. “I always do.”
///
As soon as the work day ends, you fall into your usual routine. Your commute home is easily walkable on nicer days, and though the winter weather is brisker than you’d like, you decide to walk for the sake of stopping at the convenience store on the corner of the block.
Once you arrive back at your apartment, you change into your comfiest sweats and a loose tee. You turn on some music while you throw together some dinner, and settle onto the couch half an hour later with a full plate and Netflix. Television is a welcome distraction from the events of the workday, and you manage to get through three full episodes of your current show before your pesky brain decides to revisit the events of today, replaying the conversations that you’d both had and overheard.
There’s no denying that you’ve been single for quite some time now, and for the most part, it’s been by choice. Ever since graduating from university, you’ve chosen to focus more on your career, and it’s paid off both in terms of the important position you hold in your company and your above average salary. And yet, you can’t help but think back to the gossip you’d overheard earlier—about the supposed tragedy of being single and attending the upcoming holiday party alone. Your mind wanders to Kyunghee’s son, Hoseok, and how he’ll be in attendance this year. You wonder what he’s like, and whether he really is perfect for you, as Kyunghee seems to be so fond of mentioning.
And then your mind goes to Jay.
You met Jay two months ago, on a well-deserved night out after a hellish workweek. The bar was crowded, and the music coming from the neon dancefloor in the back was just loud enough to drown out your inhibitions. That, combined with the alcohol swimming through your system, made you bold. You sashayed your way across the dancefloor, dodging inebriated bodies and swaying limbs as you fixed your attention on the head of pale lavender hair and deliciously broad shoulders that awaits you just behind the bar counter. The bartender is nothing short of gorgeous, and you’ve thrown all caution to the wind. Sure, several other women are eyeing him like he’s their next meal—several men are, too—but you need another drink. And while he prepares it, you plan to flirt.
A lot.
The bar counter is sticky with spilled liquor, but you don’t pay that any mind as you lean across it, the wood digging into the narrow strip of exposed skin left by your cropped top. “Hi!” you call, and the bartender looks up from where he’s just finished pouring a round of shots for a group of raucous young men.
“Hi yourself,” he says, his pillowy lips stretching into an easy smile. “What can I get you?”
You pretend not to notice the way his eyes flicker down to the dip of your cleavage and instead put on the sultriest smile you are capable of mustering. “Vodka soda,” you tell him, injecting a bit of purr into your voice. “A bit of lemon too, if you have it.”
“Trust me, I have it,” he assures, his smile growing as he reaches for a clean glass and a clear bottle. “Name’s Jin, by the way. I’m here all night, if you need anything e—”
A loud clatter and the sound of breaking glass interrupts the rest of his sentence, and all eyes at the bar go to the source of the disturbance. Conversations stutter to a halt, and even the thumping bass of the music seems to dull. Jin darts to the other end of the bar, where you can see that one of several barstools has fallen to the ground. There’s a man on the ground as well, surrounded by shattered glass and spilled dark liquor, and your eyes widen when you realize that you know him.
And arguably, a little too well.
“Fuck,” you mutter under your breath. People are starting to lose interest in the spectacle, turning back to their own conversations and continuing on as if nothing had happened at all. The man is beginning to clamber to his feet, and a few people lend a helping hand as Jin begins barking out orders for everyone to step back so he can sweep up the broken glass. You seize upon the opportunity, latching on to the nearest arm and pulling them close so you can hide behind them. Vaguely, you’re aware of them sputtering in surprise, but you only have eyes for the man who had fallen off his stool, watching him carefully as he brushes himself off and tries to play it cool despite the sizable patch of whiskey soaking his white shirt.
“Hey, uh…” Your human shield is speaking. “Are you okay? You’re squeezing me pretty tight.”
That draws you out of your daze. Abashed, you loosen your grip on his arm and look up into his face, your throat going dry when you realize how handsome he is. His black hair is parted over his forehead, a stray strand falling into warm brown eyes set above a straight nose and an inviting mouth. There’s a freckle above his top lip, just shy of the center, and your inebriated brain wonders just what it would be like to kiss it.
“I, um—” You clear your throat and try again. “Sorry about that. I just didn’t want him to see me.”
Your newfound companion raises an eyebrow and glances over his shoulder at the drunk man, who is now being ushered out of the bar by his buddies. “You know that guy?”
You nod, cringing. “Yeah, his name’s Trent. I… may or may not have dated him for a few months last year.”
The man laughs out loud. “You dated a Trent?”
“What, like you’ve never made a questionable life choice?” you challenge. “Besides, you shouldn’t judge someone based on the sins of their parents. It’s not his fault they gave him a terrible name.”
“Sure, but it is on him for going along with it,” he replies with a shrug. “I would’ve changed my name as soon as I could if my parents had named me Trent. But hey, that’s just one man’s opinion.”
You laugh. “Okay then, Not-Trent.” Relinquishing your grip on his arm, you let your fingers graze his hand before pulling away entirely. “What do you say we continue this conversation over a drink?”
The man, whose name is decidedly not Trent, catches your fingers in his and gives them a gentle squeeze. “Happily.”
One drink turns into two, and then three. By the end of the hour, you are feeling pleasantly warm, the alcohol spreading through your veins like molasses and turning your surroundings into a hazy blur. The music has grown even louder, pounding against your eardrums, and you grab onto Not-Trent’s wrist as he sets his now-empty glass back down onto the counter.
“Do you wanna get out of here?” you ask, raising your voice to be heard over the thumping bassline. “I can’t even hear myself think.”
“The parking lot’s out back,” he suggests. “Why don’t we get some air?”
You nod and stand up on wobbly legs, cursing your decision to wear heels when you stumble into your companion. He steadies you with a gentle but firm hand, and you don’t miss the way his touch lingers on your lower back, his palm warm through the material of your blouse.
Together, the two of you pick your way through the throng of swaying bodies on the dancefloor. The bassline thuds in your ears, dark and hypnotic, and you can feel the reverberations thrumming across the slats of your ribs and echoing in the cavern of your chest like a second heartbeat.
It’s almost a relief, then, when you step out into the cool night air. Your ears continue to ring for a few seconds, but it soon fades and leaves behind only the muted hum of traffic from the street and the faint sound of music from inside. At your side, Not-Trent releases a long breath and leans against the brick wall of the building, and you turn to take in the steep slopes of his side profile as he tilts his head up toward the velvety night sky.
He’s handsome. Dressed in ripped jeans and black leather, he’s a sight to behold, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been craving a bit of intimacy for quite some time now. The alcohol swimming through your system makes you bolder than you normally would be, and you reach out to lay a hand on his arm. He turns toward you with a silent question glimmering in his irises, but you simply step closer, until you’re pinning him against the wall with your body and you’re breathing the same air.
“Hey,” you say, your voice an airy whisper. His eyes are near obsidian in the dimness of the parking lot, illuminated only by the orange glow of the streetlamps on either end, and your gaze flickers down to his mouth before roving to the freckle that sits upon his top lip. “Kiss me?”
Your companion’s eyes widen. His lips part, but no words come out, and you’re about to repeat your question when he finally finds his voice again.
“That’s really… that’s not a good idea.” Awkwardly, he clears his throat, but the hoarseness of his voice and the harsh bob of his Adam’s apple give away his true desires. “Look, you’ve been drinking. We both have, and—”
You cut him off, pushing up to your tiptoes and planting a messy kiss to the soft dip just beneath his bottom lip. “Don’t care,” you mumble against his skin. “I want you.”
Your companion laughs weakly. His hands find their way to your waist and pause there, as if he can’t decide whether to push you away or pull you closer. “You don’t even know me,” he murmurs.
“I don’t have to know you,” you reply. Your fingers drag down his chest, trailing along the delicate silver necklace that rests against the black of his shirt. From the chain hangs a round pendant, the surface engraved with the letter J. Slowly, you trace it with a fingertip, the metal shining even in the dim light, and satisfaction blooms in your heart when your companion’s throat bobs again. “I want you,” you breathe, soft but insistent. “Isn’t that enough?”
“I—” He clears his throat and tries again, and you wonder if he realizes that his hands have slid down to your hips, or that there’s a growing hardness against your lower stomach that’s becoming increasingly harder to ignore. “Look, I’m flattered—really, I am. And you’re… I mean, fuck, you’re gorgeous. But I don’t think we should do anything when you’re clearly not in the right frame of mind to be making this kind of decision, and—”
“And, nothing.” You wind your arms around his neck, pressing close and grinding subtly against the bulge in his pants. You smirk when he releases a low hiss from between his teeth, and hide it by laying a trail of kisses along the stretch of bare skin exposed by the dip of his collar. “Stop being such a gentleman,” you whisper. Your fingers trail down his chest, past the silver of his pendant and down to the faded denim of his jeans, teasing at the cool metal of his belt buckle. “I want this. But if you’re not interested, I can always go back in there and—”
The rest of your sentence dies in your throat. Your companion has tugged you flush against him in one smooth motion, and your gasp is cut off by the firm press of his mouth against yours. Immediately, you melt into the kiss, and a moan tears from your lips when he spins you around and pins you against the brick wall of the building.
“You’re a spoiled little thing, huh?” His breath fans hot against your cheeks, and you shiver when you meet his eyes and see the dark promise reflected there. “Used to getting what you want, huh, princess?”
Your breath hitches at the endearment—something your companion doesn’t miss. “Oh, you like that?” He chuckles hoarsely, and when he speaks again it’s in a rasp that sends heat straight to your core. “What else do you like, hmm? You want me to be rough with you, princess? Or should I be gentle and treat you like a queen?”
You reach up, raking your fingers through his hair and skimming across the soft strands of his undercut before finding purchase at his nape. “You talk too much,” you whisper.
And then you’re crushing your mouth back against his, whining when he immediately takes back control of the kiss. His grip slides downward, his fingertips digging into the skin just above the curve of your ass, and you squeak when he grabs the back of your thigh and hooks your leg around his waist.
“You feel that?” he rasps into your ear, nipping at the delicate shell and chortling when you keen. Your skirt has ridden up dangerously high on your spread thighs, and you let out a soft whimper when he grinds harshly against your center. The lace of your panties and the denim of his jeans are the last barricades between you, and you wonder, vaguely, whether your companion has a bit of an exhibitionist streak when he slides one of your sleeves down your shoulder and begins kissing a trail down to the swell of your cleavage. “You feel how hard you’ve gotten me?”
You lean down, kissing the soft spot where his jaw meets his ear before letting your teeth graze against his skin. “Why don’t you do something about it then?”
He hisses out a sharp breath, his hands tightening their hold on your hips. “You’ve got quite the mouth on you, huh? I can’t wait to make you eat your words.”
Any retort you may have had is interrupted by a sudden swell of music and the sound of a slamming door. Whirling to face the source of the noise, you immediately spot a familiar head of lavender hair atop broad shoulders encapsulated in the black uniform of the bar. Jin hasn’t noticed the two of you yet, his attention fixated on his cell phone screen, but he looks up when you let out a little squeak of surprise and shove your companion’s chest in an attempt to create some distance between you.
“Hey.” Jin raises a hand in greeting, a knowing smirk curling his lips. “This phone call shouldn’t be too long, so please. Don’t stop the party on my behalf.”
Heat floods to your cheeks. There isn’t much use protesting against his insinuation, considering the rather compromising position you’re in. Much to your relief, though, your companion simply huffs out a chuckle and waves Jin off. “Thanks, man, but we’ll get out of your hair.” Lowering his voice, he turns back to you. “Coming, princess?”
You nod. He offers you his hand, and you take it gratefully, adjusting your skirt so that it drapes properly over your hips and thighs again.
“Have a good night!” Jin calls after you, amusement lacing every word. You can’t work up the nerve to respond, and luckily, you don’t have to. Your companion leads you around the corner of the building, where several rows of cars are parked beneath an orange streetlamp. On this side, the exterior brick wall is painted with a mural, and you admire the colorful galaxies and nebulae swirling amidst silvery white stars and the word serendipity spray-painted in pale blue.
The last car in the row is parked just beneath the letter Y, and it’s here that your companion stops. The sleek black vehicle has an almost vintage feel to it, and you glance up when you hear the jingle of metal.
“I’m guessing this is yours?”
He nods, pulling a set of keys from the pocket of his leather jacket and inserting one into the lock. “Yeah. You like it?”
“It’s beautiful,” you tell him, tracing the edge of the passenger window “Makes my car look like a total piece of shit by comparison.”
Your companion chuckles, pulling open the driver’s side door, and you catch a glimpse of your reflection in the window as he presses a button to unlock the rest of the doors. Your hair’s a bit of a mess and your mascara has smudged beneath your right eye, and you hurriedly swipe at it as your companion turns his attention back to you.
“So,” he says. “Now what? I can give you a ride home, if you want.”
Deliberately, you let your gaze drop down to his crotch, where his bulge—albeit waning—is still visible. “Seriously? I thought you were going to… what was it again? Make me eat my words?”
And just like that, it’s as if a switch has flipped. His eyes darken to obsidian, his lips settling into a stern line, and you barely have time to draw in a breath before he’s caging you against the side of his car and molding his mouth to yours. Your lips part beneath the onslaught, and he wastes no time in dipping inside to explore, licking into you until you’re both breathless.
“Inside,” he breathes once you’ve broken apart, and you instantly obey. You wrench the door open and all but tumble into the backseat, and he isn’t far behind as he slots himself between your spread thighs. Your hands fly to his shoulders where you help him shuck off his leather jacket, tossing it carelessly to the front where it lands in a heap on the dashboard before focusing your attention on the hem of his black t-shirt. Your companion obliges you as you push it upward to expose his toned abdomen, grabbing it by the collar and pulling it off the rest of the way when your reach falls a little short in the cramped interior of the backseat.
“Your turn,” he whispers when you try to reach for his belt, his hands settling around your wrists. “It’s only fair, princess.”
Pouting, you let your hands fall limp in his grasp, and he chuckles as he leans down to pacify you with a kiss. Deft fingers find the hem of your blouse, pushing it up until you can twist out of the material. You throw it aside with no regard for where it lands on the ground, and lay back as your companion drinks you in, his dark gaze raking across the lacy black lingerie that decorates your curves and skims you like a second skin. “Fuck,” he breathes, his voice hoarse with a combination of amazement and disbelief. “You’re stunning.”
You smile, trailing a fingertip from the dip of his collarbone down to the silver necklace that sits prettily against his bare chest. “You’re not so bad yourself,” you tell him, tracing the letter engraved into his pendant. “Jay.”
Your companion—newly dubbed Jay—smiles back. “You’re something else, princess,” he murmurs, before leaning down to kiss you again. He explores your mouth thoroughly—languidly—before moving down to nip at your neck, and already, you can feel the beginnings of marks beginning to form, blossoming across your skin as irrefutable proof of your tryst.
It isn’t long before Jay frees you from your bra, watching with carnal fascination as your breasts spill out of the lacy material. You whine when he reaches out to cup one, his palm hot against your bare skin, and he smirks crookedly when a pinch to your nipple makes your back arch off the leather of the seat. “So pretty,” he rasps. “I can’t wait to see how you look stretched around my cock.”
“Stop waiting, then,” you tell him, trying again for his belt buckle. This time, he lets you fumble it open, leaning back to watch you work with hooded eyes and a lazy little smile. Emboldened, you push aside the denim of his jeans and free his cock from the confines of his underwear. He’s hard and hot and heavy in your palm, and your tongue darts out instinctively at the sight of the pearlescent precum beading the tip.
“Jay,” you murmur, thumbing across the head of his erection and smirking when he hisses in pleasure. “Fuck me.”
Jay seems to consider your demand, mischief flitting across his features before he manages to school his expression into something more neutral. “Where are your manners, princess?” he asks, pushing your hand away and giving himself a few long, slow strokes. “Say please, if you want it so bad.”
For a moment, you consider refusing. Jay seems to be the type of man who enjoys a good game, but between the state of his cock and the earlier interruption, you’re pretty sure he’s nearing his limit. And even if he isn’t, you are. And so, you shelve your pride for the time being, and trail a hand down the length of your bared body as you bat your lashes up at him. “Fuck me, Jay,” you repeat. “Please. Want your cock so bad.”
His answering smile is equal parts amusement and satisfaction, and altogether sinful. “That’s my girl,” he rasps, before shoving your panties aside. Lining the head of his cock up, he enters you in one smooth thrust, and you moan as your walls stretch to accommodate his girth. You’re more than wet enough to take him in his entirety, your eyes fluttering shut when he bottoms out, and he groans hoarsely as he takes a second to relish the feeling of your walls gripping him so tightly.
“Fuck. You’re so wet, princess.” Jay dips a thumb into your slick, spreading it across your clit and rubbing a few experimental circles around the sensitive nub. He groans when you clench around him, his hips stuttering, and you squeeze around him again just to hear him grit out another curse. “Shit. I’m not going to last long at this rate.”
“Don’t care,” you murmur, rocking against him and sighing when the motion sends him a little deeper into your core. “Just fuck me, Jay. Please.”
Jay leans in, a dark lock of hair falling across his forehead as he plants an indulgent kiss on your waiting mouth. “Anything for you, princess,” he breathes. Slowly, he pulls back until only the tip of his cock remains inside you. Then he’s slamming forward, and you can’t even find it in yourself to care about the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin or the way the car rocks. Jay’s thumbing across your clit in tight circles that he times perfectly with the rock of his hips, and you wonder whether the rapidly building pleasure in your belly is due to your dry spell or if he’s just that good. You can feel every inch of him as he fills you up repeatedly, his brows furrowed in concentration and his dark hair flopping as he drives deeper in search of the spot that will have you seeing stars.
You know he’s found it when the pleasure in your belly spikes, your back arching off the backseat. Your skin is sticky against the dark leather and you’re certain the sweat gathering at your temples has destroyed the last of your makeup, but Jay alleviates your concerns with a particularly well-timed thrust and a harsh nip to the soft spot at your clavicle. You keen out something unintelligible, and his lips stretch into a smirk against your skin.
“That’s it,” he encourages. “Cum for me, princess.”
That’s all it takes for the mounting pressure to snap. Your body collapses into a searing orgasm, the pleasure flaring out like a supernova and spreading through your veins like wildfire. “F-fuck, Jay—” you gasp, your fingers scrabbling at his back for purchase and no doubt leaving scratches in their wake. “Fuck, you feel so—”
The remainder of your words trail off into garbled nonsense, and Jay huffs out a strained chuckle as he begins chasing after his own orgasm, rutting against you in a way that both prolongs your pleasure and sustains his own. “Shit,” he groans, his eyes fluttering shut. “Fuck, that’s it. Look at you—taking my cock so well. So pretty and perfect and—”
Whatever he was going to say dissolves into a groan as he gives a few more erratic thrusts before his release overwhelms him. Creamy warmth floods through you, and you rub his back tiredly as his head drops onto your shoulder, his breath flaring hot against your skin as he rides out his orgasm.
It takes several long seconds for the pleasure to recede. Your legs are still shaky when Jay pulls away, straightening up and tucking himself back into his jeans. There’s an empty ache in your core now that you are no longer stuffed full of his cock, and already, you are missing the feeling. Still, you push that aside as you sit up, adjusting your panties and wincing at the wetness that soaks the material and sticks to your skin.
“So,” Jay says after a moment’s silence, and you glance over at him when he huffs out a short chuckle. “That was fun.”
“Not bad at all,” you agree weakly, an irrepressible smile tugging at your lips.
Jay grins. It’s a bright, infectious grin—and it’s one that you’ve already grown rather fond of in the short period of time you’ve known him. It’s a grin that showcases his perfect teeth and crinkles his eyes into crescents, and one that all but forces you to grin back.
“Here, give me your phone,” he says, and you watch as he punches in his number once you hand it over. “Just in case you ever wanna do this again,” he tells you, handing it back. “Don’t be a stranger, princess.”
You glance down at his contact information, saved under the moniker you’d given him and affixed with a short string of emojis. “I won’t,” you tell him, chuckling. “In fact, I just might take you up on the offer.”
-
The screen of your laptop has long since gone dark, and you stretch your arms overhead before waking it again. Rolling your shoulders, you navigate back to the main Netflix menu, hovering over the resume button and watching the trailer loop in the background.
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about Jay often. You’ve texted each other quite often since that night in his car—usually when you’re bored and alone and have had a few too many glasses of wine in the evenings. You’ve found yourself tapping on his name instinctively during those odd, ambiguous hours—when late night and early morning meld together and you’re aching for a bit of relief.
And as if he knows you’re thinking about him, your phone buzzes against the coffee table, the screen lighting up with a familiar name.
[11:22pm] Jay 😘🍆💦: thinkin about u, pretty girl 😘
It’s followed by an image, and your heart rate picks up, thudding loudly against your ribs as you open it.
Fuck.
Your memories of Jay’s face—made all the more hazy by the alcohol and the amount of time elapsed since your first and only meeting—truly don’t do him justice. Though the photograph cuts off just above his nose, you can still admire the sharp angle of his jaw and the fullness of his puckered lips. His skin is golden against the white of his t-shirt, and you lick your lips before thumbing across your screen to respond.
[11:23pm] You: yeah? what else are you thinking about, hmm?
His response is instantaneous.
[11:23pm] Jay 😘🍆💦: thinking about that pretty little pussy of yours
[11:23pm] Jay 😘🍆💦: how good it looked in that pic u sent me tuesday 👅
You barely even notice the way your hand begins trailing down your body, pushing aside the elastic waistband of your sweats. It’s as if you’re on autopilot, as your fingers find their way to the damp spot growing on your panties.
Yeah? you write back with your free hand, already teasing at your clothed folds with the other. Tell me more.
///
It’s an uncharacteristically warm Friday morning when you find yourself in the elevator with Jimin, a good friend of yours who works on one of the lower levels of your office building. “Morning,” he says as he steps in, a large iced coffee in hand despite the fact that it’s still very much the middle of winter. Then he squints, leaning a little closer. “Oh my god. You got laid!”
“Oh my god, not so loud!” you hiss, whacking him on the shoulder and jabbing the button to close the elevator doors. “And no, not exactly. I’ve just been texting Jay.”
“Texting, sure.” Jimin mimes air quotes around the word and rolls his eyes. “You’re sexting him, and we all know it. How many pictures of his dick do you have saved on your phone now?”
“Oh my—” You sigh, trailing off. “Can we not talk about this right now?”
“Right, of course.” Jimin takes a sip of his coffee and pretends to check his watch. “When would you like to talk about it then? Do you need to check your calendar? Can I book an appointment for later this afternoon?”
You stick your tongue out at him. “Shut up.”
Jimin just grins, his lips puckered around his straw. “So, how’s Jay? Have you asked for his real name yet?”
You shrug. “What’s the point? It’s not like we’re friends or anything. We’ve literally only met the one time.”
“Yeah, but that’s just because you’re a coward,” Jimin points out. “What’s stopping you from meeting up with him again? You have his number. You have at least one photo of his dick. Ask him out already!”
“It’s not that easy, though,” you sigh. The elevator doors open to let a few more people in, and you move to the side and lower your voice so that only Jimin can hear. “Jay—he’s not exactly boyfriend material. I mean, we fucked in his car the first night we met.”
“So?” Jimin frowns and takes another sip of his iced coffee. “You talk about things besides sex, don’t you? You definitely told him about your goldfish dying, at least. I mean, you told him before you even told me!”
“Yes I did, and he was appropriately sympathetic about Mustache’s passing, unlike some people,” you sniff. “Get over it already, won’t you?”
“Never,” Jimin replies, ignoring your pointed jab. “I’m sure you only told him because you knew you could get a sympathy sext out of it. How many dick pics did you get out of that night, anyway?”
“You’re gross,” you tell him, punching him in the arm. “Not to mention that’s exactly why Jay’s not boyfriend material. He’s perfectly happy with—whatever it is we’re doing. I can’t just ruin that by asking him to get dinner.” You frown, gnawing on your bottom lip. “I don’t want to make this into something that it’s not.”
Jimin hesitates. “Fine, okay. I guess I can understand that.”
“Yeah.”
There’s a pause, as the elevator makes a few more stops. You watch the numbers crawl higher, and know that you’ll soon have to part ways with your friend..
“Hey.” You nudge Jimin with your shoulder, just as the elevator doors close and you begin the ascent to his floor. “Wanna know something interesting?”
Jimin looks up from his phone, where he’s scrolling through Twitter. “Always.”
“My boss’ son is coming to the party tomorrow.”
Jimin’s eyebrows disappear into his ashy blond hair at your revelation. “Kyunghee’s son? Hoseok, or whatever?”
You chuckle. “The one and only. She’s found about a million ways to bring him up in conversation this past week. She thinks we’re a match made in heaven.”
“Wow.” Jimin releases a long breath. “I wonder what he’s like, then.”
You shrug, adjusting the strap of your work tote over your shoulder. “I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”
///
The morning of the party, you wake up to an empty refrigerator. Half stale cereal and the last dregs of milk from the carton become your breakfast, and you munch on that as you mull over the contents of your closet. You’re still in your pajamas, but you pull out your comfiest jeans and a sweater to change into after you finish eating. Then you turn to your collection of dresses, rifling through them and mentally debating the merits of each material and color.
You could go in one of two directions tonight. On the one hand, this is still a work party, and as such your attire should probably maintain a certain level of decorum. But on the other, you’re meeting Hoseok Jung for the first time tonight. You aren’t necessarily looking to start anything with the man, of course, but you do want to look good. With that in mind, you eventually settle on a deep red number that you pull out of the very back of your closet, made of a silky material that skims your curves and accentuates your best assets. Laying it on the bed, you begin your hunt for a pair of matching shoes. Twenty minutes of searching and another five of agonizing later, you step into the bathroom, intent on showering and getting on with the rest of your day.
Upon exiting the bathroom, you decide that tackling the state of your refrigerator takes top priority over your other weekend errands. Sitting down at the dining table, you take stock of what you have in your pantry, planning out your meals for the upcoming week and making a list of what you need to purchase in order to make them a reality. It’s just after one in the afternoon when you exit your apartment with a completed grocery list and your purse stuffed full of reusable canvas bags. The store is a short walk from where you live, and you decide to put in your earbuds as your feet navigate the familiar route. The temperature is surprisingly mild for winter, and the sun shines bright from its perch in the cloudless blue sky. It’s perfect weather for a walk, and the fresh air clears your mind and eases your heart.
At the grocery store, you forego the stack of baskets and instead grab a shopping cart. Weaving your way up and down the aisles, you check items off the list on your phone one by one. Eventually, you find yourself in the cereal section, grabbing a box of granola before turning to where your favorite cereal normally sits. It isn’t there, and you turn in a full circle, confused, until your gaze finally lands on the familiar box on the top shelf.
Great.
Sighing, you push up to your tiptoes, stretching your arm as far as it can reach. Your fingertips graze the shelf, but you can’t quite get a grip on the box itself. Glancing down, you scan the bottommost shelf and wonder if you can step on it to give yourself a boost.
“Need a hand?”
The voice comes from behind you, and a vague sense of familiarity sparks in your brain. Slowly, you turn around, and your entire body freezes when your gaze slides up to the speaker’s face.
“Jay.” The syllable escapes you in a near whisper. “H-hi.”
“Hey.”
Jay stands before you, looking like sin incarnate in a faded denim jacket, black sweatpants slung low on his hips, and not much else. At his throat, his silver necklace sparkles, the silver J pendant glinting beneath the fluorescent lights of the store, and you’re suddenly beyond grateful that you decided to put on a decent sweater before leaving.
“Here,” he says, stepping forward until he’s close enough that you can smell his cologne—sandalwood tinged with sweet citrus. “Let me help you with that.”
The sudden proximity has your breath hitching in your throat. Your heart thuds erratically against your ribs as he reaches around you, the denim flaps of his jacket gaping in a way that exposes even more of his bare chest. By the time he pulls back with your cereal box in hand, you feel almost faint, belatedly realizing that you’d been holding your breath.
“You wanted this, right?” Jay asks, and you aren’t sure if you’re imagining the innuendo underlying his words or the teasing inflection of the syllables.
“Y-yeah, that’s the one,” you manage, fighting to quell the uneven tempo of your heartbeat as you accept the box. “Thanks.”
“Happy to help,” he replies. Then he leans in, close enough that you can feel his warm breath fanning your cheek as he murmurs his next sentence into your ear. “Anything for you, princess. You know that.”
Heat floods across your cheeks. Your heart skips two full beats before taking off into a sprint, and it’s impossible to ignore the way your core begins to thrum, as if anticipating a repeat of that night you first met all those weeks ago. Almost instinctively, your eyes dart up to the ceiling where the security cameras are, and Jay follows the trajectory of your gaze with a low chuckle and a soft brush of your cheek with the pad of his thumb.
“Sorry, princess. As much as I’d love to get my hands on you, I’m kind of on a time crunch today.”
You can’t stop the wave of disappointment that washes over you, even if you’re in the exact same boat. “Rain check, then?”
“Rain check,” he agrees. Slowly, you reach up to touch the engraved silver pendant resting against his chest, rubbing it between your fingertips before tracing the curve of the J, and he catches your wandering fingers between his and presses a gentle kiss to your knuckles.
“You know how to reach me,” he murmurs with a mischievous wink. His gaze lingers even after he’s released your hand, and you clear your throat awkwardly before turning to deposit your cereal box into your shopping cart.
The two of you go your separate ways then, exchanging goodbyes. You finish the rest of your grocery shopping in a daze, idly going through the motions at checkout and letting muscle memory guide you back home. Your arms are aching by the time you step past the threshold of your apartment, and you heave your shopping bags up onto the kitchen counter with a relieved sigh before returning to the entryway to toe off your shoes. You throw together a sandwich as you unpack your groceries, taking a big bite as you walk back to your bedroom to look at the dress you’ve picked out. Pacing over to the closet, you double-check your shoe choice. Briefly, you debate whether or not to wear flats instead of heels.
There are still a few hours left before you have to start getting ready, so you take the last of your sandwich back to the kitchen and whip up a smoothie to go with it. You scroll through your phone as you eat, browsing through the latest news headlines and scrolling through your social media accounts. Just before six o’clock, as the sun starts setting beyond the horizon and casting long shadows across your living room, you start getting changed. You snap a photo in the mirror once you’re dressed, pulling up Jimin’s name in your phone and sending it to him.
[6:13pm] You: last chance to come tonight
Your phone buzzes with a response almost immediately.
[6:14pm] Jimin: nah. i’d hate to step on hoseok’s toes.
You laugh. Not so fast, you text back. We don’t even know anything about the guy yet. What if he’s boring? Or sexist?
[6:15pm] Jimin: if u think kyunghee raised a sexist you’re seriously deranged
[6:16pm] Jimin: now stop taking selfies and get your ass out the door! you’re gonna be late!!!!
///
Each year, the holiday party tends to be a little over the top, and this year is no exception. The company has bought out the entirety of a restaurant for the evening, and you glance around in amazement at the twinkling lights and lush evergreen boughs decorating the walls and strung up along the ceiling. An assortment of sparkling ornaments hangs from the massive tree in the far corner, interspersed between silver tinsel and more lights. Grabbing a champagne flute off a passing server’s tray, you head farther into the restaurant, skirting around tables draped in creamy linen and greeting your colleagues and friends.
“Is she alone?”
“Figures.”
The voices come from the direction of the open bar, and somehow, you just know that they’re talking about you. Lottie, Hyejin, and Sandra are clustered in the corner with glasses of wine in hand, casting glances around the restaurant and gossiping about anything and everything with a pulse. You’re sorely tempted to grab the nearest pitcher of water off a table and pour it over their heads, but you suppress the urge and instead head over with a saccharine smile. “So lovely to see you, {Name},” Lottie says as you approach.
“I love your dress,” Sandra adds. “Very slimming.”
“Thanks,” you reply, putting on your brightest, fakest smile. “Yours is great too. How are you and your husband enjoying the party so far?”
Sandra’s face sours, and you hide your smirk in your champagne flute. Maybe it’s petty to bring up her rocky relationship, but you’ve been subject to snide comments from Sandra and her friends for years now and it’s become increasingly hard for you to bite your tongue. A few tables away, you spot Sandra’s husband, Rodney, take an enormous gulp of his whiskey and wince as it burns down his throat.
“We’re all having a wonderful time, aren’t we, ladies?” Lottie cuts in when Sandra takes too long to answer. “Hyejin’s date is over there with Rodney, and my boyfriend is fetching himself a drink. You remember Dev, don’t you?”
You nod, even though it’s a lie. “Sure. Say hi to him for me.”
Lottie’s lips curve up into a smile, her head tilting to the side, and you’re suddenly reminded of a snake rearing its head back for the kill. “So, what about you? Have you brought someone tonight, or—?”
“Hi ladies!” Kyunghee materializes at your side, her lips painted a festive red shade to match her dress. She’s wearing the disingenuous smile that she reserves for the resident gossips of your office, and you try not to let your relief show on your face when Lottie’s attention refocuses on your manager.
“So good to see you, Kyunghee,” she simpers. “Have you been here long?”
“Not as long as you,” your manager replies, nodding at the near-empty wineglass in her hand. “I see we’re already making a dent in the wine supply, and you’re falling behind, {Name}. Why don’t we go remedy that, hmm?”
She doesn’t give you a chance to respond, grabbing your arm and leading you away. Kyunghee is surprisingly spry for a woman her age, and you follow after her with some difficulty as she marches through the throngs of conversing people, all the way to the line at the open bar.
“I’d like you to meet someone,” she says, gesturing at the man standing at the end of the line with his back to you. “{Name}, this is my son, Hoseok.”
The man turns around at the sound of his name, a warm, affable smile stretched across his face. “Hi, I’m H—” he begins, but he’s cut off by your sharp intake of breath. His eyes go wide, his smile fading as his mouth falls open, and you’re certain you’re wearing an even more dumbfounded expression. “It’s you,” he says, his voice hoarse.
“Wh-what… how…” You trail off, speechless. The words flounder and die in your throat as your brain struggles to process this development, and you practically feel the way the gears in your head churn to a stuttering halt.
Because this man standing before you, the one that Kyunghee has just introduced as her son, is none other than Jay. He looks completely and utterly devastating in a navy waistcoat and matching slacks, a green tie shaped like a Christmas tree knotted loosely around the white collar of his shirt. His dark hair is parted, his undercut exposed, and you can’t tear your gaze away from the loose strand that has fallen across his forehead.
“H-hi.”
Jay—Hoseok—swallows. “Hi.”
Kyunghee glances between the two of you, her brows furrowing. “I take it you two already know each other?”
Hoseok’s ears begin taking on a scarlet tinge, the color spreading to his cheeks as he struggles to find his vocabulary again. “I—yeah. Yeah, we’ve met.”
“Right. Do I even want to know how?” she asks dubiously, before shaking her head and huffing out a sigh. “No, forget I asked. I don’t want to know. I’ll just leave you two to… catch up.”
Waving goodbye, Kyunghee disappears back into the crowd of partygoers milling around. Hoseok turns back to you, sucking in a deep breath, and you fight the urge to stare down at your toes as his gaze roves across your face.
“I can’t believe this,” he says, breaking the silence that’s fallen between you at last. “My mom’s been talking about you for months, but I never imagined that it’d be you.”
“You’re telling me,” you reply, finally having recovered your voice. “Kyunghee brings you up all the time, but I never thought… I mean, we didn’t even know each other’s names, and now…” You shrug. “Here we both are.”
“It’s a pretty crazy coincidence, huh?”
“Definitely.”
A beat passes, and then two. You’re fully aware that you’re staring, but you don’t dare blink, afraid that he’ll disappear if you close your eyes. Of all the things that you thought might happen tonight, this particular meeting wasn’t even close to making the list. Never would you have thought that the man you only knew as Jay would turn out to be Kyunghee’s son. Never would you have connected Jay to the photographed little boy in yellow suspenders on Kyunghee’s desk, or realized that they were one and the same.
From behind you, someone loudly clears their throat. Another voice calls for you to get a move on, already, and both you and Hoseok belatedly realize that you are still standing in line for the open bar. Hoseok’s eyes go wide again, and you nearly tread on his toes when you both try to move forward. “After you,” he says with a chuckle, gesturing for you to go in front of him, and that’s enough to break the tension. You step ahead of him with a laugh, catching up to the line, and Hoseok doesn’t stray far as he follows your lead.
“So, what are you drinking?” he asks, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “Vodka soda with a twist?”
“Actually, I think I’m going to stick with wine tonight,” you reply, peering at the bottles lined up on the counter. “What about you?”
“Hmm. Jack and coke, I think. Nothing else is really calling my name right now.”
Grabbing your drinks, the two of you begin searching for a place to sit. You spot Kyunghee at a table near the front, and she smiles knowingly and offers you a thumbs-up when she catches your eye. Eventually, you settle on a table near the Christmas tree, the lights glimmering off the glasses and reflecting off your knife as you pick it up to butter a slice of crusty bread from the basket in the center. Hoseok follows your lead, grabbing a piece for himself, and the two of you munch in silence for a few seconds before Hoseok breaks it.
“You know, my mom says you’re the perfect girl for me” he says with a dry little chuckle. “Think she’s right?”
“I don’t know,” you answer. “It’s funny, though—Kyunghee’s been telling me the same thing. She sings your praises all the time.”
Hoseok laughs and scratches the back of his neck. “Oh, jeez, that’s kind of embarrassing. I’m glad she’s saying good things, at least.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” you tell him, grinning. “She’s only shown us one photo album from your childhood.”
His face crumples. “Was it the Disneyland one?”
You nod, fighting back laughter, and watch as Hoseok groans and lets his forehead meet the linen-covered tabletop with a dull thunk.
“I don’t like rollercoasters,” he mumbles into the tablecloth, his voice muffled by the material. “They make me queasy.”
“Even now?” you ask, and he nods.
“Yep.”
The clinking of a fork against a wineglass—amplified and broadcast through an array of invisible speakers built into the restaurant’s walls—interrupts any further conversation. You twist in your seat to watch your company’s leadership give their opening remarks, listening as they congratulate everyone for a great year and wish you a happy holiday season. The servers begin going out with plates of food, and you thank them as they set yours down. Hoseok does the same before raising his glass in your direction, clearing his throat and offering you a crooked little smile.
“Here’s to second meetings.”
“Third, if you count the store earlier,” you correct, and he chuckles and nods in agreement before clinking his drink against yours.
You spend the entirety of dinner chatting with Hoseok, getting to know him beyond the few facts Kyunghee has mentioned and what little you’ve gleaned from texting him the last two months. He tells you all about his dance studio, Hope World, where he teaches both contemporary dance and the occasional Pilates class. You find out that in addition to rollercoasters, he also dislikes sour foods and raisins, but he loves mint chocolate and sweet and sour pork. He also has a very low tolerance for alcohol—something he tells you as he tilts the rest of his drink into his mouth. “Should I be worried?” you ask as he sets his glass back down, and he chuckles and shakes his head, sending the loose tendril of hair flopping across his forehead.
Dessert is served, and subsequently eaten. The music is turned up, and people slowly begin finding their way to the open space that serves as an impromptu dancefloor. Hoseok rises to his feet and extends a hand toward you, and you only hesitate for the briefest of seconds before accepting it. He leads you out amongst the other swaying couples, his hand finding its way to the curve of your waist, and you rest your hand on his shoulder as he begins guiding you in a slow, simple waltz.
“So?” Hoseok’s voice is a low murmur, soft and gentle against the shell of your ear. “What’s the verdict?”
You blink. “The verdict?”
Even without looking, you can tell that he’s smiling. You can hear it in the lilt of his voice, and imagine it in the curve of his lips. “About me,” he clarifies, carefully pulling back so you can spin in a circle beneath his outstretched arm. “About us. My mom will never let me hear the end of it if she turns out to be right, but I still wanna know. So what are you thinking?”
“Are you asking if I think we’re perfect for each other?” you ask, giggling. “I don’t know if I believe in all that, to be quite honest. Destiny and soulmates—I mean, doesn’t it seem a little too good to be true?”
Hoseok hums. “Maybe. But considering all that’s happened to us in the last couple of months, don’t you think there’s a chance that it's all more than simple coincidence?”
“Maybe,” you concede. “Still, I don’t know if I can give you a verdict just yet. We haven’t even gone on a date.”
“We did do things a little backwards,” Hoseok admits, tugging you close and winding his arm around your waist. “Let me make it up to you, then. Are you free tomorrow?”
“What if I am?” you challenge.
“Then, I’d like to take you out for breakfast,” he replies without missing a beat.
The prospect of a proper meal with Hoseok Jung does something funny to your insides. Still, something makes you hesitate, and you avert your gaze as you search for your next words. “I wasn’t expecting to end tonight with a date,” you admit slowly. “I honestly didn’t even think you were interested in… well, anything beyond sex, to be honest.”
Hoseok’s face creases into a frown, and you look up again when he murmurs your name. “I understand why you would think that,” he says. “Really, I do. But honestly? I had every intention of texting you and asking you out properly. I was going to play it cool and wait a few days, which was stupid in retrospect. And then you texted me first.”
“I texted y—” You trail off. “Oh, god.”
“It seemed like you’d been drinking,” Hoseok says with a shrug, and you press a finger to his lips before he can say anything more. You remember the night in question, and you remember the bottle of wine you’d consumed. And you definitely remember the photographs you’d sent of yourself, and the ones Hoseok had been kind enough to send in return.
“Wait, so you were going to ask me out? And then I… I sexted you?”
Hoseok nods, and you groan and bury your face into his chest.
“I can’t believe this,” you mutter, and you feel laughter rumble through his chest before a hand comes up to stroke along your back.
“Believe me, I’m not complaining,” he assures you. “But I’d still really like to take you out, so what do you say?”
His gaze doesn’t leave yours for a second as he awaits your answer, and your heart skips a beat when you look up to see the earnestness in his eyes and the hesitant smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Breakfast sounds wonderful,” you whisper, and the smile that blossoms on your companion’s face is nothing short of radiant.
“Good,” he says. “Great. Breakfast tomorrow, then. Now, can I kiss you?”
You’re already pushing up to your tiptoes, your fingers fisting in the soft hair at his nape. “God, yes.”
///
“Hey, you made it!”
You beam. “Hi.”
You and Hoseok are about to commence your first date, having just sat down at a cozy little café for breakfast. Hoseok has pulled your chair out in true gentlemanly fashion, and you can’t help but smile over your menu at the few lingering snowflakes that have yet to melt into his dark hair.
“So, here we are,” you remark. “Our fourth meeting.”
Hoseok’s lips stretch into his signature grin, breathtakingly bright and infectious. “And hopefully many more.”
You grin at him. “Yeah? Too bad this is breakfast, because I’d drink to that.”
He leans forward, his grin widening. “Next time,” he says as his hand finds its way around yours, his fingers slotting comfortably into the spaces between your own. “We can do dinner, maybe. Or I can cook for you. But for now, I’m just happy that we’re finally doing this.”
You give his hand a soft squeeze. “Me too.”
“Just promise me one thing?”
The sudden seriousness of his tone has your brow furrowing in concern. “Sure, of course,” you reassure. “What is it?”
He winces. “Please don’t tell my mom about all the dick pics.”
#hoseok#hoseok smut#hoseok x reader#bts smut#bts scenarios#hoseok scenarios#jhope#jung hoseok#bts#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts fic#kpop scenarios#hoseok x you#strangers to lovers!au#strangers to lovers#lia writes#gonna change that stupid summary if i can think of anything better LOL#my brain went all mushy on me idk what's happening
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Baji Being A Menace To Society (And Your Relationship) 2.0
Sequel to: Baji A.K.A. The Worst (Best) Matchmaker
Summary: Baji’s at it again, acting out-of-pocket and creating chaos for absolutely no reason, other than to see you suffer. In his own Baji-esque way, of course.
Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader
Warning(s): Boku no Pico is mentioned, but there is absolutely nothing graphic; mentions of masturbation
Note(s): I am so sorry if it isn’t funny. Sadly, I am but an amateur writer, not a comedian. Still, I hope you all enjoy! ^^
"(Y/n), want some ice cream? My treat."
Usually, you'd be the first to jump at an offer for a sweet treat, especially when you don't have to pay. However, as of now, the word 'ice cream,' when said by Baji, instantly triggers your fight-or flight-response. Paired with the fact that he’s broke as hell, your suspicions only increase for the sudden indulgence.
Since you know you're no match for the long-haired menace, your body automatically prepares to flee, legs twitching to lurch into a sprint. Unfortunately for you, just before you can get the fuck out of there, your hand is being grabbed by Mikey, who leisurely begins to tug you along to claim your dessert.
“You like ice cream, right?” he turns to ask, eyes unbelievably soft when looking at you.
And because you’re weak for him, all you can do is nod stiffly, trading in your sanity for the pleased grin that spreads across his face, his confident strides thereafter likely a result of him successfully remembering another miscellaneous fact about you, as has been the case since you officially started dating him. From the most trivial of things, like which brand of pens and pencils you prefer, to the slightly more important stuff, like ice cream being one of your favorite desserts; he’s made the effort of remembering them all.
He really doesn’t need to do any of that, ‘cause you’ll love him either way, but the conscious decision to do so is what makes you love him even more.
Zoning back into reality, you shake your head to reorient yourself. It isn’t the time to be going over the reasons why you’re such a lovesick puppy.
No, there are other things to worry about, mainly Baji.
You squeeze Mikey’s hand as you’re led to the nearest ice cream parlor to try and calm yourself. It works for the most part, especially when you get a reassuring squeeze back.
‘Right,’ you tell yourself, ‘it’s going to be okay.’
After all, Baji wouldn’t do anything too drastic, right?
~~~
You were wrong. So, so wrong.
Despite nothing having transpired yet, every alarm in your head is going off, pounding at the door of reason to get you to wake up and realize that it’s Baji you’re talking about, the same person that sets cars on fire when hungry and punches the first unfortunate soul he passes by on the street when sleepy.
You really should’ve listened to your survival instincts and ran. Alas, it’s much too late to escape, leaving you to wallow in your anxiety, while you wait for misfortune to strike.
And strike it does.
“Please, don’t sit next to me. You make me nauseous.”
“That’s cruel. I bought you ice cream, and you treat me like this?”
Yeah, he may have bought it, but you refuse to eat it because of how intensely Baji is staring at you. Fucking weirdo.
"Oh, do you want some of mine instead, (Y/n)?" Baji accentuates his question with a sensual lick to his ice cream from the edge of the cone to the finessed peak, making you extremely uncomfortable as he stares you down with the full motion.
As slowly as he licks his frozen treat do you slowly raise your middle finger, eliciting chuckles from the other occupants of the table.
You think you won that mini battle, though?
Ha! Nope.
Baji mirrors the vulgar action, not once breaking eye contact as he dips the tip of his finger directly into his ice cream, pulls it out, and proceeds to lick that, too.
Disgusted, you promptly avert your attention elsewhere, praying that Baji won’t continue being, well, himself.
Your prayers fall on deaf ears.
"It's cold!" As soon as the exclamation leaves your mouth, your blood runs glacial, knowing that you've unintentionally played into Baji's trap. The appearance of a sly, almost feral, smirk when you whip your head around to glare confirms what you already know.
The curtain has risen, and you’re standing center stage in a performance you can’t break free from.
"Aw, can't let it go to waste,” Baji continues, reaching over to scoop the ice cream you’re 100% certain he purposely spilled on the front of your shirt, with his fingers.
Then, to your horror and everyone else’s shock, he asks, without an ounce of virtue to his name, "Want me to lick it off with my mouth?"
Chifuyu is seated on the other side of the table, hiding his face in his hands. “Baji-san...”
"It'll stain if it dries like that." Dear God, how you wish to un-see Baji batting his eyelashes at you.
“I don’t care!” At this point, you’ve resorted to clumsily scooting your chair as far away from him as possible, which isn’t actually as far as you’d like considering your surroundings. Hell, so long as you put some distance between yourself and the crazy bastard that wants to see you suffer, you don’t mind having to force yourself halfway onto Mikey’s lap. (The firm hand that keeps you steady by the waist proves that your presence isn’t unwanted either.)
"Geez, (Y/n), you're such a scatterbrain."
Seeing Baji sell the line with a slow tugging of his hair behind the ear has you torn between laughing and dying a little more. Truthfully, his acting is frighteningly impressive, and you would’ve applauded his performance, if not for the fact that the role he’s playing still haunts your dreams.
By this time, most of who accompanied you to the ice cream parlor have figured out what kind of drugs Baji is on this time, which also means that those fuckers have seen, or are at least aware of, the cursed trilogy of questionable porn that’s being reenacted before their eyes, with you as an unwilling co-star. Those that are puzzled as to why people are shoving their fists in their mouths to refrain from laughing are obviously God’s favorites.
“The fuck is going on? I wanna laugh at Baji’s dumbassery, too.”
“Pah-chin... I think it’s best you don’t know.”
Interestingly enough, the one you’re most concerned about hasn’t said anything yet, splitting his attention between observing the scene unfolding and eating his portion of a deluxe sundae.
Then, out of nowhere-
“I understand.”
You and Baji freeze where you are, each of you grasping the other’s collar, you to shove him away, and him to draw you closer.
“(Y/n),” Mikey says, your name rolling silkily off his tongue in a tone much too fond for his next words, “if you like roleplay, just tell me.”
...
“Huh?”
“I’m fine with pissing, remember? So, roleplay shouldn’t be a problem.”
Heat rises to your face at an alarming pace, and it continues to climb as Mikey takes your free hand in his, which serves not to comfort but to unintentionally remind you of the humiliating experience from a few months back. And just when you convinced him that you didn’t want anything to do with getting freaky with the body’s excreta, too.
“You’ve got it wrong! I don’t- arfghfgh?!”
Your prayer to help cool down your flushed cheeks must have been heard, but you’re pretty damn sure you didn’t ask for Baji to shove his ice cream in your mouth!
“Oh, yeah. (Y/n)’s a fuckin’ geek when it comes to roleplay,” the unhinged bastard speaks in your stead, indifferent to the nails clawing at his hand clamped over your mouth. “You should try it with him. We were doing a scene from his favorite anime.”
Mikey tilts his head, interest positively piqued. “Which one is that?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, leader?”
Mikey raises an eyebrow.
Baji opens his mouth.
You lunge.
It’s a series of events that happens in the blink of an eye and ends with loud crashing as you tackle Baji to the ground.
“Listen up, Baji Keisuke. We took an oath that day, and if you dare utter a word of what went down, I’ll consider that a breach of the code of secrecy and take you down, making sure you drown in a pit of your own shame and despair.”
Surprised to have been pinned down so quickly, it takes a while for Baji’s brain to catch up, but when it does, he’s frustratingly unfazed at the threat.
“Oho~ How scary. Too bad for you, I have no shame.”
“Not even if I tell Mama Baji where your porn stash is?”
That has the great Baji tensing up.
“You wouldn’t dare use an underhanded tactic like that.”
Your lips turn into a wicked grin. “Are you sure? I have as much dirt on you as you have on me, and like you, I won’t hesitate to use it to my advantage.”
If your grin is wicked, Baji’s is downright evil, showing off his sharp, gritted canines and all.
“You got balls, (Y/n),” he snarls, “but mine are bigger.”
The boy beneath you opens his mouth, and faster than you can stop him, he just...does it.
“(Y/n) (L/n) watched Boku no Pico and liked it!”
Silence.
Silence is all that’s heard for a good, long minute following the booming roar of the revelation.
You dare not look up to gauge everyone’s reactions, instead keeping your icy glare fixated on Baji, who looks smug as shit for having caused the glorious eruption of heat to spread like wildfire across your entire body, from the tips of your ears down to where your skin disappears under the collar of your jacket.
This...
This is war.
Taking in a deep breath, you answer his uncalled for declaration with your own thunderous shout of, “Baji watched Boku no Pico and jacked off to it! Twice!”
Baji laughs. “Oh, pray tell, saintly (Y/n), how many times did you jack off to it?”
“None of your fucking business, asshole.”
“Pretty fucking sure it is, since we were in the same room.”
Someone chokes, while you choke Baji.
“We. Swore. To. Secrecy. You. Asshole,” you practically growl, with each of your words accompanied by a ruthless back-and-forth shaking of the other boy’s person.
“Let up on the choking, dude. I’m not into that. You, however-”
Unable to take the ceaseless slander to your name anymore, you reel your fist back, but, upon seeing Baji’s cheek turned to you, jaw jutted out, as if inviting you to take your best shot, you hesitate. You know you wouldn’t be able to pack enough of a punch to actually leave an impact on him, which is terribly upsetting.
On the bright side, there’s still one tactic you can use that’ll be just as effective, a technique courtesy of your health teacher, who happily taught it to the class to use in case of an emergency.
Technically, it’s meant to be used to assess a person’s level of consciousness, but you suppose it can be used to get back at inconsiderate idiots, too.
“Ow! Ow! What the fuc-! Ow!”
You keep a straight face as you continue to rub your knuckles against his sternum, fully intent on delivering the worst possible pain to the current bane of your existence. It brings a sort of sadistic satisfaction to hear the ever prideful Baji’s screams of pain, and while it doesn’t completely undo the damage done, it does help soothe your wounded self-esteem.
“You want me stop? Beg for it.”
“Pissing, roleplay, choking, and begging? Goddam- OW!”
Your reign of terror comes to its untimely end when you’re lifted up into the air by the armpits, and through the haze of your power trip, you realize that Baji’s saving grace is Draken, who proceeds to carry you out of the parlor with ease.
“People are staring,” he coolly explains when you protest to having unfinished business.
Pouting, you cross your arms over your chest. “It’s his fault.”
Once outside, Draken doesn’t immediately put you back on your feet, until Mikey strolls out of the parlor. Only when the gang leader has his arms outstretched to you are you promptly deposited on the ground and taken into his embrace.
“Are you done letting off some steam?” is the first thing he asks you. Even though you can’t see his expression, the way he holds you and the way he cradles the back of your head, handling you with the utmost care, is indication enough that there will be no reprimand for, essentially, assaulting your division commander. (You would argue that it was an act of self defense against verbal harassment, but whatever.)
There’s just an overwhelming amount of love. So, so, so much love for each other.
“Yeah, I am,” you eventually answer, followed by a content sigh.
“Good.”
Naturally, that’s the perfect time for the tinkling of the bells above the parlor door to pilfer your attention. Baji’s appearance causes your face to morph into a scowl.
You cling tighter to Mikey, peeking over his shoulder to flip the ravenet off and mouth, ‘Go to Hell.’
As always, Baji answers your attempt to appear opposing with an obnoxious smirk.
‘See you there.’
~~~
“Boku no Pico, huh?”
“Draken, don’t laugh! Baji forced me to watch it!”
“All 3 episodes?”
“Twice.”
“...”
“...”
“Favorite scene...?”
“As if I’d have one.”
"Actually-"
“Ahh! Shut up! Why are you here, stupid Baji?! You live in the other direction!”
~~~
“Hey, (Y/n). Want to try doing the same thing with me?”
You look up, perplexed. Mikey literally just walked into the room, and that was the first thing he said to you.
“Do wha-?”
Your breath catches in your throat when you turn your head, only for you to come centimeters from bumping noses with him. And because he can, he lovingly knocks your foreheads together, too.
“It’s okay. I promise it’ll definitely be fun.”
You should feel ashamed for recognizing the same sequence of lines from Boku no Pico so quickly, though any coherent words are overtaken by an incomprehensible, high-pitched screech, a feat achieved solely by a teenage boy going through puberty.
A combination of shock and amusement crosses over Mikey’s features then. He’s never heard you make that sound before.
It’s cute. Strains the ears quite a bit, but cute.
While Draken lurks beside him, questioning Mikey’s standards of what constitutes as ‘cute,’ you’re sprinting across the room, red-faced, to Baji, who’s already grinning from ear-to-ear.
“Stop tainting my boyfriend, you piece of shit! Give him back his innocence!”
(Unbeknownst to you, whilst immersed in your fit of hysterics, your use of the word ‘boyfriend’ has a certain blond beaming.
“Did you hear that, Ken-chin? He called me his boyfriend.”
“Wow, congrats.”
Mikey either doesn’t give a shit or is simply too smitten to acknowledge Draken’s apathetic response.)
Baji blinks, unable to believe what you’re trying to insinuate. “Innocent? That little gremlin motherfucker?”
Both of you look in Mikey’s direction. When he sees you staring, he breaks out in a smile and throws a wave.
Your heart involuntarily skips a beat at the sight, and, okay, you’re convinced. Mikey deserves better than knowing of that cursed series’ existence.
Clearly, you’re down bad for Toman’s leader, and as such, Baji figures he can use that to quench his boredom for the day.
“Ooh, if only you knew what he gets off to.”
The tone in his voice instantly rouses suspicion. You narrow your eyes at him. “I don’t care what kind of porn he gets off to.”
“Porn? Nah, ya silly goose-”
“Don’t call me that.”
Baji ignores your comment as he moves to sling one arm around your shoulders, the other raising up to mimic an obscene tugging motion that no teenage boy is a stranger to.
“He jerks it to yo-”
BAM!
One second, Baji is lazily hanging off of your person, the next, he’s sprawled out on the floor, face down, and groaning in pain. You expect nothing less after witnessing him receive a rather impressive flying kick to the chest from Mikey.
Before you can assess the full damage, your view gets obscured by a pair of keys.
“Wanna take my bike out for a spin?”
Yes, you know Mikey is trying to divert your attention from whatever Baji was going to say, and, yes, you probably should check on the figure that has yet to get up.
But do you really care?
You take one glance at Baji’s concerningly unmoving body and quickly come to a conclusion.
You do not.
That being said, you quite literally drag Mikey and, by extension, Draken out of there, chanting an excited, “Let’s go!” on your way, abandoning Baji to wither on the ground.
Baji?
Baji feels betrayed.
~~~
"Chifuyu?”
“Hm?”
“Y’know, I was joking.” Baji flips onto his back with a grunt. “Man, who knew Mikey was all grown up?”
The vice captain of the first division hums, seemingly uninterested in his commander’s musings.
It goes quiet for a few minutes, the sole instigator of noise being Chifuyu flipping the pages of his manga.
Unpredictable is Baji, and the same goes for his train of thought.
“I should punch Mikey for kicking me.”
“No, you’d get beat up.”
“...”
“I should punch (Y/n) for Mikey kicking me.”
Truly, unpredictable and senseless.
“You’d still get beat up.”
Baji opens his mouth to argue.
“By Mikey.”
He promptly closes it.
“Fuck it. I’ll keep spicing up their relationship as payback.”
Sighing, Chifuyu closes his book to crouch down next to him. “Baji-san, with all due respect, you’re an asshole.”
Baji Keisuke has experienced betrayal twice today.
And he deserved it both times.
#mikey x male reader#sano manjiro x male reader#sano manjirou x male reader#mikey x reader#tokyo revengers x y/n#tokyo revengers x male reader#tokyo revengers x reader#Tokyo Revengers#Sano Manjirou#sano manjiro#manjiro sano#manjirou sano#i tried#im so sorry#pls dont cancel me#PSA: don't masturbate in the same room as baji
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Our Paths are One
You recently became a Ranger, traveling the North to protect the land and its people from monster attacks. When you meet Strider, you cannot help but wonder why you seem to keep finding each other in the wilderness, even by accident.
masterlist
The woods of the North are cold this time of night; cruel winds whisper between the trees, carrying with them reports of steel blades to the West and monsters to the East. There is no safe place to rest without keeping one eye open and one hand on the hilt of your sword. It’s a dangerous place, out here in the wilderness, and the threats only grow in number once darkness falls across the hills. All the same, you prowl in the dark with a smile on your face.
Your footsteps, at least, are silent. You’ve been in the forest many times before, and it knows your scent. It’s best not to let it know your footfalls too. That being said, you can still hear a dense shuffling and stomping sound coming from the trees to your right, down a ravine. Your fingers close around your sword, slipping past the pommel to wrap firmly around the grip. The air is thick with the promise of a coming fight. You can only hope to strike now, while you still have surprise on your side.
You’d heard rumors of a pack of orcs traveling somewhere in the vicinity, after a harried traveler had collapsed in a nearby pub last night, bawling stories about how his party had been attacked and had to flee for their lives. There are no doubt many boastful groups looking around for the same monsters, but the title of killing them can only go to one, and you intend it to be you. You only became a Ranger recently- it’s time you earned your stripes and cemented a place for yourself amongst their ranks.
You drop down into the ravine silently, using a patch of moss to disguise the sound of your heels landing on the packed earth. You unsheathe your sword, paying no heed to the bitter glint of moonlight along its edge before you begin your work. You’re able to stab two orcs in the eye and slash one’s throat before one of the beasts finally lets out a dying gurgle of blood and the rest discover that you’re there.
They yell gutturally at you in anger and charge, although you’re ready for them. Their lunges are strong but clumsy, and you’re able to dance around them as if you were part elf instead of fully human. You parry a fierce blow, forcing the nearest orc’s weapon down into the earth before quickly riposting to cut through its chest. Normally, you keep your sword as sharp as possible; tonight, it slices through orc flesh as if it were the thinnest of silks. You smile. It is not the gentlest of looks.
You move steadily through the pack. Trapping them in the narrow ravine had been a smart move, and they’re limited to attacking you in groups of two or three, which you can dispatch quickly before more manage to climb over their fallen brethren to reach you. In fact, you’re just readying yourself for a final swing towards the last pair before the orc in front of you lets out a startled sound, strangled by the blood knotting in its throat and the sword suddenly jutting out of its chest.
The blade is quickly removed, and seconds later, the final orc’s head is spinning off into the ground near its feet. The body falls as if kicked, and you’re face to face with your apparent savior. However, you don’t feel grateful for the rescue, only annoyed. “I had them down. Why would you interfere?” The man before you is tall and dark-haired, his eyes piercing even when lined by a splash of orc blood. His lips are slashed by a smirk. Evidently, he’s proud of himself for ruining your string of kills.
“I wanted to make sure that you would not be hurt. You are one of the newest Rangers, after all. I have yet to see you on this side of the forest before.” You raise an eyebrow. “Are you this welcoming to all new Rangers, or only me?” The corner of his lips twitch again. “You could simply thank me, you know. Let’s just leave it at that.”
You scoff, reaching forward to wipe the blood from your sword on a nearby patch of grass. “Oh, of course. I shall sing your praises to the archangels themselves, mysterious stranger. Now, if you don’t mind, I will be on my way. Or are you going to take over my later travels as well?” There’s a glint of something in the man’s eyes. It could be irritation, could be satisfaction. Perhaps a bit of both.
“Only if I was certain that you would be this upset over it. Who are you, then?” You consider him for a second longer, then nod. Whoever this man is, he’s a fellow Ranger, and committed to ridding this world of orcs, even if the kills are meant to be yours. “Y/N. Y/N L/N.” He inclines his head. “They call me Strider.” You sheath your sword, tapping the hilt once before making for the hills once more. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Strider. With all respect, I hope our paths should never cross again, or I’d fear for my other quests lest you add yourself to them as well.” You can practically hear his grin as you walk away. “The same with you, Y/N.”
You assume that your leaving will be the end of this. The forests and grasslands scattering the North are vast; canvassing them by yourself could take years. The chances of running into this Strider fellow are slim to none.
That being said, when you find yourself crossing through a particularly dark patch of the wilderness and hear the sound of conflict carried to you by the winds, you can’t help but shake your head. You can hear the clang of steel and the snarl of what appears to be half-trolls, but every now and then, you hear a grunt of exertion coming from the swordsman taking on these monsters. It’s a familiar sound, and a familiar voice, despite the fact that you’ve only heard it once before. You grin to yourself. This is going to be fun.
You come across the scene soon enough. You have to admire Strider’s courage- he’s taking on a trio of these half-trolls without an apparent care for his own safety. Then again, you can spot the fleeing silhouettes of a family of travelers. Strider has likely taken on these monsters to save the journeyers, but he’s now left with the difficult task of saving his own skin. He’s so concerned with making it out alive that he hasn’t spotted you yet.
You wait until his back is turned to you, sword holding back the blow of one of the half-trolls’ stone clubs, until you strike. You can see Strider’s eyes widen slightly as your knife buries itself in the chest of the monster in front of him, which sways back and forth before crumpling to the fallen ground. It was an excellent throw, you can admit that yourself. You drop to the ground, rolling under a looming fist before coming up on your feet behind the beast, your sword already in your hand and slashing at its back. The half-troll groans in agony, twisting around to swat at you, but by the time it’s facing you again you have relieved the monster of its arm. It cries out again before turning to run, although it doesn’t make it far before Strider’s sword lodges firmly between its ribs.
When you turn to face the battle scene, you note that the other troll has been dispatched. The clearing is empty save for you, Strider, and a few half-troll carcasses. Strider moves towards you, eyes roving over your arms to check for cuts and scrapes that aren’t there. “May I ask why you chose to intervene?” You can’t help a satisfied smile. “I wanted to make sure that you would not be hurt. You are one of the most maddening Rangers, after all. I couldn’t just leave you to die.”
You walk forward to retrieve your knife from the chest of the fallen half-troll, so you don’t see the slight incredulity washing over Strider’s face. You can hear it in his voice, though, along with the undercurrent of humor that always seems to be present within him. “I appreciate you looking out for me. That’s the sign of a good Ranger, you know. However, seeing as I wouldn’t want you to get hurt, I might advise you to not take on enemies that might be too much for you.”
You stare at him now, before roughly yanking your dagger from the dead monster’s trunk. It comes directly from its heart, and shines darkly from the blood coating it down to the hilt. You hold it up, heedless of the scarlet starting to drip down over your knuckles. “If I thought I couldn’t handle those things, I wouldn’t have gotten involved. I’d argue that I’m worth a little more than you might think, Strider.”
You step forward slowly, until you’re only a few feet away. “We are both Rangers now. It would be best for you to stop seeing me solely as a commoner who stole a weapon from a nearby blacksmith.” You say, yet Strider’s hands close quietly over your knife. You’re not sure why you let him take it, but you watch as he walks a few feet away to wipe the blood from the metal. He does not say another word until he has come back to you, pressing the weapon gently into your awaiting palms. “I would not dare, Y/N.” Something almost like a smile plays over your lips. “I should hope not.”
You see Strider again, and then again. You don’t plan it, honestly, this meeting up with him, it just happens. You’re trying to rid the forest of some thieves, he appears on the path behind you to stop you from being cut off at all sides. He’s cornered by some rogue orcs, you find yourself charging the lot to ensure that the one Ranger you know won’t find a lonely death in the forest. You’re not sure whether you would consider him a rival, a friend, or any mixture of those terms, only that it does make you smile every time you see him.
Then, in the midst of a nighttime journey, you get the sensation that something is wrong. The feeling washes over your skin, raising the hairs on your arms and chilling your bones. You dismount from your horse, walking forward to look over the edge of a nearby bluff for any signs that another conflict has come upon you. You see it then- a rocky outcropping not far from you, a single curl of smoke piercing the sky. It is quiet, and suddenly a shriek shatters through the night.
You clap a hand over your mouth to stop a gasp of shock. You’ve never heard that deathly wail before, yet you can recognize it instantly: a ringwraith. It could be nothing else. Even by hearing the sound, you can conjure up the mental picture: darkly clothed figures, rattling breaths, the stench of death even before they strike. Somehow, you know that the wraiths are approaching that mountaintop, and somehow you know that there is a Ranger there who will attempt take them on alone.
You’ve jumped onto your horse before you can muster up a second thought, lashing the reins and charging forward in a thunderous gallop. You’re not bothering with silence this time, only speed. Your steed canters forward as fast as it can, racing between low-hanging boughs and up the side of the rocky mountaintop. You can only hope that you’ll arrive fast enough. The thought alone is not enough to stop your nerves from threatening to tear you asunder.
You approach the rocky clearing soon enough, and your heart catches in your throat to see the scene. Across the space from you, you can see four of what appears to be hobbits, one of them lying painfully on the ground as if injured. Then, closer to you, one man armed with a torch and a sword, taking on five Nȃzgul as if they were no more than garden-variety thieves. You could almost laugh at his selflessness, were it not for the fact that he’s about to get himself killed.
You have a torch of your own, and hold it in the air. Your horse raises itself on its hind legs, neighing loudly in the still air. The attention of the ringwraiths is diverted to you, as is Strider’s, although you cannot tell whether or not the look in his eyes is driven by relief or regret. You charge forward, torch held at the ready. Your horse bears down upon the cloaked beings, moving forward swiftly despite their shrieks and calls. You swat at first one then the other, beating them back with the fire.
You can feel your horse panicking beneath you, so you jump down after a second, trusting it to remain close. You and Strider fight side by side, forming a barrier of flaming torches and steel that does not allow any of the Nȃzgul to approach. At last, Strider lunges forward, forcing the last of them back. All of a sudden, you are alone once more, the air seeming to heat up again now that the soul-sucking chill of the ringwraiths has been removed.
You do not have a chance to speak with him immediately. The dark-haired hobbit, Frodo, is gravely injured from a wraith’s blade, and is rushed away with an elf who smiles at you briefly before taking off once more. Then, you have to watch over the remaining hobbits, and make sure they don’t manage to call attention to themselves once more. Only once it is far later into the night, when Strider has allowed the three hobbits to rest, do you follow his unspoken request and go with him a ways away from the meager camp to talk.
Strider waits until you’re sufficiently out of earshot of the camp before he begins. He is pacing away, away, and then he whirls back to you. There’s a fierce sort of light in his gaze that has never been there before; it becomes him, in a way. “What were you doing here? You could have been killed!” You raise an eyebrow. “You could have been killed as well. That’s why I was here, actually, making sure that you weren’t murdered when you tried to take on a swarm of Nȃzgul.”
His eyes flash in the darkness. “Do not put the blame of this on me. I will not have your death on my conscience.” You let out a surprised, bitter laugh. “You won’t, I’m still alive. How are you upset about this? This is what we do, we save each other. You want to avoid thinking that I could have died because of you? How do you think I would feel if you died when I did nothing about it? I would rather have been killed than know that you were going up against ringwraiths while I sat back and watched.”
Strider’s expression is merciless. “I would rather have your grief if it meant you were alive. There are only so many rangers in the forest. We cannot afford to lose one because you wanted to get involved in something like this.” You shake your head, disbelieving. “That’s what this is all about? You would chide me for saving your life, all because you are worried about the numbers of rangers?”
There’s a pause, and then he speaks again. “No. It is not for that.” All of a sudden, his fierce stance is gone, replaced by a man, just a man. Out of some indescribable emotion, you reach forward and take his hand. He stares at your interlocked fingers, and so do you. “Then what is it, Strider? What would make you speak this way?” He looks at you for a second longer, then his gaze flicks away again. “Aragorn. That is my true name. I would have you use it.”
Your fire is gone now, as is his. All that remains is a few embers, catching light in the dark night of this section of the forest. “Then, Aragorn, what would make you afraid to lose me?” Your tone is light. You cannot think about the consequences of what this all means. “This is a lonely life, Y/N. All the same, I have still had you. Do you know how large the wilderness is, how great the expanse of territory that we rangers pursue? Yet, every week or two, I still see you. Somehow, our paths keep crossing. If I lost you tonight, and I had to go back into the forest without knowing that you were there somewhere with me, I would feel more lost than the first time I stepped from my doorstep.”
His voice is quiet. Yours is too. “Then you understand why I had to fight too, don’t you? It is the same for me. Your loss is mine.” Aragorn looks up at you. “The same?” You nod. His eyes have warmed again, the fire warm this time, not meant to burn but to encourage you to stay a little longer. He glances towards the camp, no doubting wondering what trouble the hobbits have managed to get themselves into. “We go to Rivendell, after Frodo. Will you go with us?” You smile at him. “Anywhere, Aragorn. My path is yours.” He kisses you before he goes, and you watch him walk back to the camp, silhouetted by the soft starlight. You will follow soon enough. For now, you sit and think to yourself, wondering how you managed to get this lucky.
lotr tag list: your compliments would lead me to swear undying allegiance to you @underc0vercryptid
#aragorn#aragorn imagines#aragorn x reader#aragorn oneshot#strider#strider imagines#strider x reader#strider oneshot#lotr#lotr imagines#lotr x reader#lotr oneshot#lotr aragorn#lotr aragorn imagines#lotr aragorn x reader#lotr aragorn oneshot#lord of the rings#lord of the rings imagines#lord of the rings x reader#lord of the rings oneshot#tolkienverse#tolkienverse imagines#tolkienverse x reader#tolkienverse oneshot
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Izuku’s Emotional Neglect
Hi so I’m not okay because I keep thinking about Izuku
This kid has been emotionally neglected since he was little. Izuku has had NOBODY to rely on emotionally
He didn’t have Inko, or his classmates, or All Might. Actually, All Might is borderline the only one he’s confided in [since they talk briefly about their connection of being quirkless], but he still holds back
Inko is trying her best and no parent is perfect, I see that, but what she said to Izuku that fateful night damaged that boy and the way he saw himself.
He asks her if he can be a hero, and she cries and says she’s sorry. Not only does this imply that Izuku’s quirklessness is bad, it also implies that she was lying.
And by the way, I don’t mean that Inko ACTUALLY lied that Izuku could be a hero, nor do I think that she meant to mean his quirklessness was bad.
But I need, NEED, to stress that this is how Izuku sees it. This is how he would perceive it, subconciously.
If you’re a child and you think that you can be a hero, your parent encourages it because it makes you happy. But then suddenly you can’t be a hero, and you ask them one more time if it’s possible, hoping that those little wishes you made weren’t fruitless, that maybe somehow this is some kind of dream and she’ll wake you up from it with her smile and her warmth, promising that even with this newfound “disability” you can still be a hero, but instead she cries and apologises to you? That’s going to make you think. It’s going to make you think “Was she lying? if she truly believed in me, why would she cry and say she’s sorry? why isn’t she encouraging me, like she always does? what is happening?”
It’s not the truth, and Inko DIDN’T lie, but subconsciously I feel like it’s something that betrayed Izuku a great deal.
And with the quirklessness. He hates it, he hates feeling useless, and he saw himself as useless when he was quirkless, therefore -> quirkless is something weak and awful.
Time and time again, we see this evidence of the emotional neglect he was subjected to. It’s like actively ongoing and the effects of it are seen even now
We’ll start with the Inko one. I just mentioned it, but here are the panels. It’s really just the language that she uses
“You mean there’s something wrong?”
Apologizing over and over again, like not being normal was a bad thing. Moreso, I think this just meant that she knew how hard Izuku’s life was going to be as a quirkless person, but the way she says it makes it sound like what happened to Izuku was wrong and bad and incredibly awful
Then we have All Might disregarding his feelings and telling him straight up that he couldn’t be a hero
Which then leads to this commentary
“Don’t cry! Let it sink in!!” “Just block it out, just block it all out, just-”
*pats Izuku on head* You Can Fit So Much Denial And Repression Into This Kid!
Then further along, Izuku is seen, and he gets the quirk. He is then surrounded by people that love him, that want to help him, but it’s almost like even the narrative won’t let him have emotional closure.
In most emotional closure scenes (Tsuyu crying, Kirishima vs Rappa, Iieda in the hospital with Shouto and Izuku, Kacchan vs Deku 2), there is an end to it. The character is emotional, crying or upset, and thinking back on their regrets, spilling their guts as they scream, sob, or give solemn expressions. The other characters then cheer/hype them up, reaching some sort of conclusion to the character’s pain, and the situation is more or less resolved.
But that’s not the case with Izuku. He’s always left sorta hanging there, or his hurt and anger get sidetracked by something else. One example of this is the Running With All Might scene in the UA grounds
Izuku is incredibly upset that All Might chose to withhold information on Sir Nighteye and Mirio, and he speaks about how he can’t make sense of it. He’s voicing all his worries to All Might as they run, because he can’t stand the thought of All Might keeping something like this a secret from him.
And then All Might tells him why he kept it a secret, that he didn’t feel it was necessary to let Izuku know about Nighteye’s bias, and then it divulges into him telling Izuku he’s gonna die, and Izuku focuses on that instead.
I am NOT saying that All Might did this purposefully. He didn’t try and steer Izuku’s anger away from him, it was just that it all got revealed so suddenly, so the subject changed.
The narrative tosses Izuku’s feelings of anger aside, and instead Izuku gets emotional over All Might’s potential death. Idk man, to go from angry and upset about withheld information and then immediately shoved into the knowledge that your mentor-father figure is gonna die? That’s the narrative playing with Izuku’s feelings.
Obviously, All Might’s communication skills are awful and he just kinda unloaded all this stuff on Izuku cuz he didn’t think to tell him in the first place, but I still think Izuku’s feelings got pushed around here. He had no time to process any of it
Another example is the cafeteria scene with Shouto and Iieda
The scene goes that Izuku is visibly depressed by the Eri situation and Iieda and Shouto notice. They tell him that he can talk to them when everything gets too much [a parallel to the Stain fight], and Izuku cries. Izuku insists he shouldn’t cry, and Shouto tells him that, actually, Heroes cry too sometimes, and they offer him their food in an attempt to comfort him.
But the thing is, this scene doesn’t offer closure. Closure would be Izuku seeing that he could rely on his friends and telling them how he feels [he wouldn’t have to necessarily tell them about Eri - maybe just phrase it in another way that doesn’t reveal the mission]. Closure would be Izuku accepting that Heroes can cry too, and admitting he’s not okay. Instead, we have this
The scene feels... incomplete? Like there’s no knot at the end of the rope. Izuku is being comforted, but he’s not acknowledging his own feelings of sadness.
In fact, he’s shoveling food into his mouth to stop himself from crying, to shut himself up, to try and move forward and get past his little outburst.
I would go as far as to say this is self hatred eating, trying to quell that vulnerable part inside
I wouldn’t say Izuku HATES himself now. Rather, he just makes connections to his past quirkless self in his mind. It’s the negative emotion connection
Feeling weak? Well, you’re still like your quirkless self before! You’re still not good enough and useless!
Not strong enough? Sounds like back when you were quirkless! All weak and helpless! You can’t help anyone, which is why you need to get stronger, so you can move on from your past self!
Crying? Just like when you were quirkless! You always cried back then, like a helpless kid! You can’t be like that anymore, since you are now All Might’s Successor and A Hero, so stop crying! You’re not allowed to cry anymore!
Do you see what I’m getting at here? Izuku continuously represses these emotions as he gets stronger because he connects them to when he was quirkless. If you associate certain behaviors and emotions with how you were during a vulnerable and traumatic time in your life, you’re going to want to shove those emotions down so you don’t repeat what happened back then [in this case, Izuku sees himself being vulnerable as weak, and he saw himself as weak when he was quirkless, so he’s trying not to be vulnerable anymore].
And the scary thing is, now, we can even see the hatred in real time. I’m sure there are other examples in the manga, but one scene is very prominent in my mind, and it’s this one
Izuku is so incredibly strong now, he has saved many people, but he still can’t view himself as anything other than “useless” or “helpless” unless he powers through death itself just to break himself more. He almost feels like he HAS to do that in order to be seen as worthy, for himself and others. When he’s struggling, bleeding and heavily injured, he yells at himself as if it’s all his fault.
It’s not about whether he’s aware he’s actively dying or not. To him, being worthless and useless is infinitely worse than dying.
Actually, the way Izuku practically yells at himself in this panel reminds me of when he was walking home in chapter 1 after his chat with All Might [shown above when talking about All Might’s impact]
There are two translated versions of this actually that ring alarm bells in my head. There is the panel already pictured above, but I chose this panel too because I simply think it hits harder
“Don’t cry! You knew already, right?! This is reality...”
In either translation, he’s chiding himself. For crying. For being emotional.
And once again, I totally think this stems from emotional neglect. Trying not to get too personal here, but I know what this feels like, and I know the effect it has had on me. I can’t be vulnerable or spill my feelings in front of people, it just feels illegal or smthg. Like it shouldn’t be done. And like... if you’re taught from an early age that, one way or another, your feelings don’t matter and that nobody is going to pay attention to you, why try, right?
Then you just begin to Not Feel Properly, and you become incapable of expressing your feelings in a healthy manner
Current examples of this?
Izuku literally not giving himself time to process anything, like worry, grief, sadness. If anything, the only emotion he gives time for is anger. And he specifically directs it at All For One, cause that’s his target. [we saw little bits of this in War Arc but it also applies to the current arc]
He can’t cry. He feels emotional, sure. But he never lets his tears shed.
And one last bit of evidence
I’d say most if not all of these sound about right
In conclusion I wanna hug Izuku
#istg i really don't mean to make long posts#i just have many thoughts#all the time#and once i get going on a post there's no stopping me#ahhhhh i wish i could not go on rants#but alas i have the power to and so i must#uhhhhh lmao i didn't mean to get personal in this post but here we are#bnha#bnha 321#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#izuku midoriya#tw eating disorder mention#tw eating disorder#idk if it actually is#but i looked it up and it seems connected#please i IMPLORE you if any of the info i gave seems a bit off#like the psychology stuff and eating mention#don't hesitate to message me so i can fix it#i encourage corrections#after all i'm not an expert in the field but i know what i've gone through#and it feels the same as what izuku has been through too#so yh#rambling#ramblings#the way this post jumps from ranting to analysis#PARKOUR!
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Hiii!! I've been following your work since the beginning and i just wanted to give u a big squeeze of a hug for blessing us with all of your fics 'cause i feel like we don't deserve u for blessing us with all these wonderful feysand content that u are sharing.
I hope all is well with ur life and in ur studies, and if it's not too much to ask, would you consider writing a feysand au where Feyre & Rhys aren't mates, but are happily in love and in a relationship--when all of a sudden, one of them meets their mate (preferably Rhys..?) or something like that 😚. Won't lie to u that im dying to know what events would play out and how Feyre would react if this scenario happened. Really no pressure to write this or anything just wanted to try my luck with this idea :DD. Thank u!
Bestie, ooof. What are you trying to do to me? Can you imagine how heartbreaking that would be for Feysand to be happy and in love, waiting patiently for the mating bond to snap only to find out they were star-crossed lovers all along? Well you don’t have to imagine it, because I already have. And if I’m going to be in torment over Feysand angst, I’m (affectionately) dragging you all down with me.
P.s. thank you for the submission lovely, I hope you enjoy <3
The Chains That Bind Us
Word count: 1,956
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Feyre and Rhysand were happily married. For 300 years, they had basked in what seemed like an infinite stretch of rapture, working alongside and complimenting each other with a grace and chemistry that had always felt predestined. They had always been certain they were mates, but time had flowed on and neither had felt the inkling of that special, magic bond.
They have resigned that perhaps the mating bond will never snap, perhaps that’s simply not what they were to one another, but that was okay. It was enough to be husband and wife, to be High Lord and Lady, to be happy and in love. They didn’t need a mating bond to reaffirm what they felt for one another. Things were already perfect as they were.
Until they weren’t. Until they had journeyed together to Illyria to oversee the announcement of the first all-female battalion. It had been a long term goal of Rhysand and his brothers to finally battle back the long ingrained sexism of Illyrian culture, and the visit was meant to be a celebration. A liberating ceremony, in honor of their mothers and all the females who had been victims of prejudice.
But when the leader of the battalion stepped forward to be acknowledged for her accomplishments, Rhysand had gone rigid at Feyre’s side, his breathing suddenly ragged. His pupils were blown wide, eyes fixed, riveted to the female.
Feyre felt her whole world had imploded in that moment. Especially when that female’s eyes had met her High Lord’s and had frozen just the same, the two bearing matched expressions of awe and disbelief.
She was certain she was going to be sick. Such a thing would be far from befitting of a High Lady, so Feyre had immediately winnowed back to their River House, back into their bathroom where she was instantly emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.
Rhysand was there not too long after, holding back Feyre’s hair. They said nothing to each other, not until Feyre had recovered enough to turn and face her husband.
She was entirely unprepared for the way her heart shattered to meet his face, to meet those lovely eyes she had loved for centuries. Eyes that had only moments before been staring at another female with so much blind devotion it had torn her open.
“Feyre—” he started.
“I suppose we should have assumed that something like this could happen,” she interrupted, because she couldn’t bear to hear him apologize. Not for something like this, something that was entirely out of either of their control.
“It doesn’t change anything,” he insisted, but there was a strain to his voice that had never been present before. A bite that Feyre was convinced was the result of Rhysand battling against his instincts to return to Illyria, to that female.
“It changes everything, Rhys.”
She was already weeping as she choked the words out, because speaking them made them true. Those few centuries of bliss between them, they were a bubble, a perfectly crafted delusion that had finally popped.
“I love you,” Rhys seethed, as though arguing with himself. “I don’t even know that females name—”
“It doesn’t matter, Rhys. She’s your—”
“Don’t say it,” he begged, his voice a broken rasp. “Please, don’t say it.”
Somehow, that made it impossibly worse. That Rhys had been gifted this incredible, Cauldron-blessed thing, but was scorning it for her sake. Most Fae dreamed of the moment their mating bond would snap, and here was her husband acting as if it was his worst nightmare.
But Feyre knew what it was like for males. She knew he was clawing against every instinct in his mind, screaming at him to go to his mate, to know her name, to claim her. Feyre stifled another sob. Rejected mating bonds could drive a male mad. How could she ever think to do that to him? How could she deny him this piece of himself?
What broke her heart more than anything is that Feyre knew he would. Rhysand would reject his bond, would let that intrinsic part of his soul be torn away, for her sake. If Feyre asked, he would stay. He would stay and be miserable.
“I can’t do this to you, Rhys. I can’t force you to stay with me out of duty. I will not be your jailor.”
“You are my wife,” Rhys choked, reaching for her hand. He drew her palms to his face, allowing her to caress his cheeks. He shut his eyes as he nuzzled into her touch, causing his unshed tears to fall, racing down to collect at her hands. “You are my High Lady. You are the only one I want to be with.”
That wrecked another sob through Feyre’s body, which came out as a harsh exhale as she tried to restrain it. “You’d be a broken male without her, Rhys. The Cauldron—” she sucked in a strangled breath. Some truths were just too difficult to confront— “The Cauldron didn’t intend for us to be together.”
“Damn the Cauldron,” he growled, reaching for her with newfound conviction. “No one and nothing can decide who I love. No one can tell me that you are not who I belong with—who I belong to.”
Feyre allowed him to bundle her in his arms, to press her fiercely against his chest. She knew moments like this were fleeting, where they could hold each other as husband and wife. Already, their love was tarnished. Tainted. Blood spilled onto white snow. How long would it take for this mating bond to seep, to spill into the cracks, to spread until it consumed them? She couldn’t see an outcome where they could stay together unblemished, where they wouldn’t come to resent one another.
“Rhysand, listen to me love,” Feyre said, and found that her voice was steadier than she anticipated. “I care more about you being happy than I care about that happiness being found with me. Do you understand?”
“I would not be happier without you, Feyre.” His voice was ripe with earnesty. When she turned those eyes to meet his, those violet depths were burning, the silver constellations completely eclipsed by molten amethyst. He swallowed thickly. “Do I… want that female? Yes.” Feyre cringed to hear her husband admit it outloud. “But, that is just my instincts. I will be able to manage them with time. This bond is nascent. My love for you? It’s endured for centuries. The cauldron is not faultless; my parents were mates and they were miserable together. I could never imagine someone so perfect to walk beside me as you, Feyre. I do not seek another, no matter what fate has to say for it.”
Feyre allowed the comfort of his words to wash over her. She rested her head against Rhysand’s shoulder, inhaling his familiar scent, letting herself lavish in the rhythm of him, the beat of his heart steady in his chest.
“I will understand if you change your mind,” she whispered. “I do not hold you to your vows. If you become unhappy, if one day you cannot resist the pull you feel towards her… I will not hold it against you. I give you permission to… to leave me.”
Rhys let out a small, rueful laugh before he pressed a tender kiss to her temple. “How could I desert a love that is so selfless? The least I could do in the wake of such a declaration is promise to never see that female again.”
Feyre shook her head emphatically. “Don’t promise me that, Rhys. Just—just promise me that we’ll always be honest with each other. That we’ll always be a team, whether it be as rulers, or as lovers, or… or just as friends.”
“I promise,” he swore. “I vowed on my court and crown that I will love you for eternity. And I still know that to be true, even now. My soul… it might belong to someone else. But my heart, Feyre, it will always belong to you.”
There was something irreparably changed between them. They both knew it, could sense the way it lingered between them. The first crack, and possibly not the last. What they had was fragile now, but they had a gift for being delicate with one another.
The silence hung between them, a wretched, discomfiting presence that had never been there before. Both not quite sure what to say, not quite sure where this put them. She watched Rhysand’s lower lip quiver, understood that it was from the strain of not burdening her with his own turmoil over the situation.
Feyre tutted as she threw her arms around him, recognizing the signs of his crumbling. Rhys bowed his head in shame, burying his face into her chest.
“I’m sorry,” he gasped against her, releasing a sob of his own. “I’m sorry it couldn’t have been you. I wanted it to be you. I’m a failure of a husband, for putting you through this.”
“You are an excellent husband,” Feyre protested, threading her fingers through his hair soothingly. Her voice was still raw. “I don’t blame you for this, Rhys. I love you just the same.”
He lifted his head so their tear-stained faces were level. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, still glistening in silver. “What do we do now?”
They clung to each other so tightly, as if they pressed hard enough they could redirect fate, could mold their souls together and correct the misdeed of the Cauldron.
“I don’t know,” Feyre answered, burying her face in his shoulder as if it would hide her from the truth of the world. “I suppose we have no choice but to keep going. We’ll find our footing again. Together. And if we don’t… well, maybe we can wish on the stars.”
There was a huff of air at her ear. A laugh, she guessed, or something like it, something wry and humorless. Rhys moved underneath her, and Feyre pulled away to watch in confusion as her husband rose to his feet.
He extended his hand towards her. Curious, Feyre accepted, allowing him to pull her to her feet. In a blink, they were on the rooftop, beneath the stars. She hadn’t even realized the sun had set until she was staring up at the impossibly bright cosmos.
“Where better to find our footing than under those very stars?”
She turned to him, and Rhys was staring at her the way he had on starfall, all those centuries ago. Staring at her as if she were the brightest star in the sky, as though he looked to Feyre to cast his wishes.
“Will you dance with me, wife?”
Not convinced she was capable of speech, Feyre nodded. Using the hand he still held, Rhys twirled her into his arms. And though no music played, they found their own rhythm, lost in the cadence of each other, spinning endlessly under the stars.
As they swayed under the endless expanse of sky and starlight, Feyre mused how even the brightest of stars eventually burned out, but that didn’t make them any less worth wishing on. That didn’t mean they weren’t worth fighting for.
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#ask#prompt request#feysand#acotar#feysand fic#acotar fic#pro feyre#pro rhys#angst galore#bittersweet as heck#acotar fanfiction
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THE BOX IS NABOO
That’s it, I’m doing it, I’m writing that stupid meta I’ve had in the works for two and a half years, I’m sharing it with the world. I promised it for last Thursday, my poll was forever ago, but whatever! I’m writing that freaking thing.
(super duper long post, press j to skip)
Enter my rabbit hole.
First thing to establish: the Box makes no sense whatsoever in-universe.
((EDIT: Something I forgot to mention. IRL, the premise of a giant murder cube and the aesthetic - wall patterns, light designs, etc - of the episode come from the 1997 horror movie Cube, (see the episode’s wookieepedia page). However, while the two are very closely linked visually, the Box does not follow the movie structurally or narratively, as you can verify by simply reading the movie’s summary.))
Recap of the context for the "Box" episode (s4e17): Palpatine is planning his own kidnapping. It was never meant to succeed, and while the plan would obviously benefit him (making the Jedi look bad, pushing Anakin closer to the Dark Side, making Republic citizens more afraid -> more docile, etc...) his actual goal is never explained, and it’s weird that he’d go to such extreme lengths for results so minimal that we’re never told what they are.
So Palpatine asks Dooku to kidnap him at the Festival of Lights on Naboo. Dooku hires Moralo Eval to design a giant box-thingy to test bounty hunters to hire the best of them to kidnap Palpatine. Moralo then gets arrested to alert the Republic that something is afoot, and hires Cad Bane to break him out. Obi-Wan - undercover to learn Moralo’s plan - goes with them. They evade capture and go to Serenno, and Bane and Obi-Wan have to pass the box-thingy test. The level of brainkarked logic here... Truly on par with Megamind, Gru and Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
Setting aside the insane plot holes and utterly nonsensical behavior of the villains, the Box itself is moronic from a plot perspective. It’s insanely complex, obviously incredibly expensive and would have taken months (more like years but it’s a short war) to make when it’s not even needed for the dastardly plot! Just hire some guys who have already proven themselves against Jedi! Throw cash at Bane and Embo and a few others! Maybe attack them with your saber and see how they do!
And after all that, Dooku still ends up trying to kidnap Palpatine on his own. I can’t even...
So why does the Box exist? Well, apart from being a nerdy callback to Cube, giving us a good thrill and being generally awesome to look at, it has actual narrative purpose within the SW universe.
The box is Naboo.
What the Box lacks in plot relevance, it makes up for with its heavily symbolic meaning. It very closely follows Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s experiences on Naboo - but only certain parts, which I’ll explain later.
We start with clean, sterile environments, SW’s favored way of showing villainy.
Then we have the protagonists locked in a room as dioxis, a poison gas, pours in.
And then they escape... this way.
(Okay, here the shaft is down, not up. And it’s not a ventilation shaft per say, it’s the designed escape route. Same difference).
We then skip most of TPM (namely, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon discovering the droid army, finding Padmé, leaving Naboo, landing on Tatooine, going to Coruscant, etc, etc) to come back to Naboo and go directly to the lightsabers and catwalks.
(Note: in both scenes, Obi-Wan has to propel himself from a catwalk.)
In TPM and TCW, the catwalks are immediately followed by ray shields
And we finally end with the last scenes. Now, they don’t look the same but they are structurally identical.
Obi-Wan is faced with a challenge unsuited for his abilities (facing Darth Maul // shooting three moving targets when he’s far more skilled with a blade than a blaster) on a narrow space above a melting pit/pit of fire.
He first watches someone die failing to complete the task...
... and has to do it himself, faring much better than expected (holding his own against Maul // shooting all the targets easily).
He then almost falls to his death and gets saved unexpectedly.
And then there’s the final showdown.
In both scenes, Obi-Wan is angry. And in TCW Dooku eggs him on, banking on his anger. (More on that later.) In both cases though, he centers himself and is able to overcome both his opponent and his own unbalance. But in TCW, he doesn’t go for the kill, because he doesn’t need to.
The Box, as a literal character-explorator ex-machina, thus shows us Obi-Wan’s growth.
In TPM, Obi-Wan follows Qui-Gon’s lead. In TCW, he is the leader. He identifies the gas, makes the plans. He doesn’t fall from catwalks anymore - he runs atop moving ones. He doesn’t stay stuck behind ray-shields, he finds the solution. (Btw, how did Moralo know what blood type Derrown the Exterminator was? There was a 50% chance of him dying - thus killing all of the bounty hunters. Was that an acceptable outcome? TCW I need answers!) He doesn’t slay his foes, because he’s become powerful enough, skilled enough and wise enough to survive (and win) without needing to kill.
He’s grown - and, even more interestingly, he’s also stayed the same. In the previous episodes, we see some of the dark aspects of Obi-Wan. How he - like all Force-wielders, all people - could lose himself if he stopped maintaining absolute control.
But in the Box, surrounded by the worst criminals of the Galaxy, the most ruthless, worthless people, he’s still kind and tries his best to keep them alive.
The Box is a reminder and a reassurance for the audience that Obi-Wan Kenobi is still there under Rako’s face. He hasn’t lost his compassion, his restrain. He’s still a Jedi. And he’s an awesome, badass one.
And now, for what it tells us about Dooku!
It’s much shorter, don’t worry. Basically, Dooku considers that the best way to pick “the best of the best” of the deadliest people in the Galaxy is making them go through what killed his Padawan. There, I’ve broken your hearts, you’re welcome.
More seriously, Dooku is a manipulative ass. It’s pretty clear that he knows Rako is Obi-Wan, or at the very least suspects it.
He has an interesting reaction upon learning Rako’s identity, he keeps praising him despite his usual distaste for low-lifes, he smirks secretively after Eval says “I’ll show you who’s weak” (not included there because it’s a close-up of Dooku’s lips and no one wants to see that) and he tells Rako he’s very disappointed when he doesn’t finish off Eval.
[Later]
(Look at this smug asshole - I can’t. YOUR GRANDSON IS THE BEST, WE KNOW, STOP ACTIVELY RUINING HIS LIFE ALREADY.)
(Dooku... why...)
Now obviously Dooku couldn’t have made the Box specifically for Obi-Wan, because it would have to have been designed months before the Council ever decided to send Obi-Wan undercover, but he has no qualms trying to use it to push Obi-Wan to the Dark Side. Ffs Dooku, making your spiritual grandson relive one of the most traumatic events of his life on the off chance that he’ll join you (and desecrate his Master’s memory in doing so) is not okay!
Final tidbits of analysis: I mentioned that not all of TPM is mirrored in the Box. What’s omitted is the droids (even though Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fight B1′s and droidekas between the dioxis and the ventilation shafts) and anything pertaining to Sidious (all the political stuff on Coruscant). You’ll also note that the fake lightsabers are orange.
=> The Box distances itself from anything that connects Dooku to Naboo. Red lightsabers are the trademark of the Sith, so they’re not used. The bounty hunters will be facing Jedi, so logically the fake sabers should be green or blue - and yet they’re orange, the color closest to red without being red. It fits with Dooku’s special brand of dishonesty - he always tells bits of the real story but twists them just enough to absolve himself of any fault and to justify his choices.
(”We can destroy the Sith” -> could maybe destroy Sidious with Obi-Wan, but fails to mention he’s a Sith Lord himself; “the Viceroy came to me for help, that’s why I’m attacking the Republic” -> political idealism is a small part of it, but fails to mention he’s Sidious’ underling and is playing the Viceroy like a fiddle; “Qui-Gon would have joined me” -> maybe, still fails to mention he’s working for the man who ordered Qui-Gon’s death; “I told you everything you needed to know” -> debatable, never said that Palps was Sidious; “Sifo-Dyas understood, that’s why he helped me” -> partly true, doesn’t admit to killing Sifo-Dyas right after getting his help)
So we have a twisted version of Naboo, droid-free (as droids are now irrevocably associated with Dooku, even if that wasn’t the case in TPM) and with sabers that aren’t quite red. Keep in mind that Dooku had already fallen by TPM. (We know this because he killed Sifo-Dyas and created the Clone Army - part of Sidious’ plan - when Valorum was still Chancellor, as per the episode The Lost One.) That means Dooku was (in)directly complicit in Qui-Gon’s death. And the Box doesn’t (=refuses to?) acknowledge that.
(Also omitted in the Box are the Gungans and Tatooine. It makes sense, because Dooku probably wouldn’t have the full details regarding those parts of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan’s missio as they weren’t as public, and would see them as irrelevant if he did. He utterly despises Anakin, and Gungans are the type of people he always dismisses out of hand).
Anyway, that’s my two cents about the Box. To quote Lucas...
“It’s like poetry. It rhymes.”
Thanks to @lethebantroubadour @impossiblybluebox @nonbinarywithaknife @ytoz and @kaitie85386 for voting for this one. Next up is a compilation of the Jedi being casually tactile with each other (because they’re a warm and affectionate culture, dammit).
Also thanks to @laciefuyu for giving me gifs I ended up not using ^^; you rock anyway!
#meta#my meta#the box#deception arc#rako hardeen#rako hardeen arc#naboo#obi-wan kenobi#count dooku#cad bane#moralo eval#darth sidious
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Angel in the Dark
Demon!August Walker x Reader
Summary: After a one-night stand, or what you thought would be one, a demon drags you to his world and forces you to grow wings like he has so you would have to stay with him, unable to permanently return to Earth.
Notes: (So this is like a one-shot that is little snippets/summary of something I might turn into a multi-chaptered fic. I’m not sure if I’m going to do that yet or if anyone would even like this idea, but if it seems a bit choppy, this is why.) I know its been an age and a half since i posted anything, but college, ya know? Also to those who have made requests, I have started all of them and they are to be posted next. I just started this fic a long time ago. I havent written anything for a while so it might actually kinda suck.
Warnings: Implied smut, kinda. Unhealthy attachment on August’s end. If I make this chaptered then there would be actual smut. I think cursing. Eventual Stockholm syndrome if continued.
Words: 1713
Angel in the Dark
You didn’t believe in fate, not really. You didn’t believe your life was predestined or anyone else’s to play with. It was yours alone, to make choices, good or bad. Only you decided when you did things and where you did them. And no one would have ever been able to convince you otherwise, until you met him.
Seeing him in that club, kissing him before you knew his name, now you couldn’t help but feel was in some way a trick, manipulated in his favor. That maybe bumping into him, quite literally, was his orchestration. Maybe whether you spoke to him or not, he had his sights set on you, and a one-night stand was never going to just get to be a one-night stand.
It was all too simple. Meeting you and not taking advantage, kissing you but following your lead, sleeping with you like you meant something to him. It didn’t add up. You could sense the kind of man he was; dominating and possessive. Too dominating and possessive to be as gentle with you as he had been. And all of it fell into a perfect line for what you now realized he wanted from you: not just sex, but more; nothing less than your life. But admitting all of that to yourself was entertaining the possibility that you were stalked like prey and any training at staying away from bad men had been a useless waste of time.
-------------------------------------------------
It was the third day, third of eight. August promised the pain would subside as the days passed, but so far he was proving to be a liar, not to your surprise. Every few hours, the wings ripped your skin wider to accommodate their size as they grew from the inside of your body pushing out. At three days, they were now the span of a couple feet, shining an opalescent white in the glare of the sun.
As you laid on your stomach, frozen in place against the mattress, wings bloodied and draped across your back with your eyes closed tight, you tried to understand the depth of the pain; how it was able to hurt the way it did. The feeling couldn’t compare to anything Earth may dare to offer. So different, so unnatural in its entirety, and indescribably excruciating. It was merciless, not letting you escape, not letting you find the will to walk without your bones threatening to crack. You could barely speak for fear fire would thrust itself up from your lungs and incinerate your throat. It was all-consuming, swallowing your body whole instead of localizing where the skin of your back had shredded open.
“Just a few more days,” August said, and you flinched at his voice. Every time he spoke it was a shock he was still there beside you, with his massive, black wings hanging over the back of the chair he sat in. Those monstrosities weren’t attached to his muscled back when you met him; nowhere in sight when he was in your bed.
August dabbed at your broken and bleeding skin with a cool cloth, eliciting little whimpers passed your chapped lips. “I know it hurts, Angel.”
“Don’t—" You forced out despite the heat in your throat, acid on your tongue, waves of nausea you knew would follow. “…C-Call me that.”
He sighed and continued to wipe the blood from your naked body. “I wish you wouldn’t say that. When the time is up, you’ll feel so much better about this, about me, and you’ll see how beautiful they are. You’re already so gorgeous, the wings will only add to your beauty.”
“I di-didn’t want--
“Don’t talk, Angel,” he said. “I know how you’re feeling about this right now, but humans are not allowed to live in this world. I had to do this so you can stay.”
You screamed as the wings tore your skin open a few more centimeters, and August quickly scooted his chair closer to brush the hair from your face.
He softly shushed you the way one might soothe a kitten, before leaning down and placing a kiss to your sweaty forehead. “It’s ok. I’m not going to leave your side.”
You would have slapped at him, pushed him away with all your might if you had the strength, but your lungs were tightening, body burning as if it had been licked by the sun. You were dying, slowly morphing into a horrid creature from fantasies, leaving behind any trace of humanity. In your veins you could feel something coursing and altering your DNA. You knew you still looked like you, for the most part, but you weren’t you, not anymore. All because you met a man who got attached and wouldn’t let you go. All because he couldn’t remain in your world and decided with certainty that if he couldn’t be in yours, he would drag you to his. A place some believed in and some didn’t, a place no one could prove the existence of, now your iron cage.
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It was five more nights of torture before you felt like you could really breathe again, and even then, the oxygen was just as foreign as the pain you had trudged through, and you found little comfort in it fully filling your lungs.
“You’re awake.”
His smooth voice drew your eyes away from the scenery out the bedroom window; the first glimpse of true, heavenly beauty you’d seen since he brought you here. But you weren’t convinced it wasn’t an illusion crafted by his devilish fingers for your comfort. Much like his own beauty, a trick tempting you to call off your desire to leave this world and go home. You tried your best to ignore how perfect he looked; the curls of his hair, the scruff of his jaw, the black wings you first saw the night you met him when they had suddenly appeared only after you’d slept together.
“And you’re standing already. I hoped to come help you, but you’re clearly much stronger than I was after I had to grow my own wings.”
Your eyes flashed in anger before your tore them away from his, back to the rolling hills overlapping one another outside your window. The breeze rustling your hair, the chirp of the birds, the glisten of the sun off the small lake dotted in the landscape, distracted you from August’s approach. You stilled at his breath hitting the back of your neck, but when he slipped his rough fingers through the layers of your shimmering feathers you couldn’t contain the shiver that shot through your body. His own black ones ruffled when his skin touched his creation.
“So beautiful,” he whispered.
“I’m glad you’re proud of your work.”
August let out a puff of air, a weak laugh. “My work? Angel, this was all you. I knew they would be beautiful if they were going to be a part of you, but you really outdid yourself.”
Twisting your body fast, you met him chest to chest, your eyes burning with a heat to match the devil. “I outdid myself? You forced this on me. You injected me with that—that poison without my permission.”
“And you survived. Not many can say the same. You’ve come out stronger.” Fingers trailed through your feathers again and you ignored the heat it sent to your core.
“I’ve come out of this wanting to kill you more than I did before,” You said, shifting the wing back and away from his reach.
Without a moment to pass, August gently grasped your chin between his thumb and index finger as his gaze landed on your lips. “That will fade with time,” he whispered, then inched his face closer. You shoved him away just before his lips could meet yours, and August stumbled back with a chuckle. “Certainly stronger.”
“I’m not going to let you kiss me,” you snapped.
“Not today, it would seem.”
“Not ever again!” Somehow the words felt wrong, each one more sour than the last. Wrong, as if your lips called to his and a portion of your mind was so disappointed at the fight you were going to force it through by trying to keep yourself away from him. But it was a small portion, and the rest of you was much stronger.
“We will see, Angel,” He crossed his arms. “You and I have eternity. One day you will wake up and realize I am all you have, I am all you want, and this memory will be lost. All you will know is me and my touch and our world.”
As he spoke, his eyes held a gentle sincerity that you wished wasn’t there. You wished the blue of them wasn’t so calm and casual and certain of the way he was feeling. Shaking your head, you matched his stance. “You’re a monster,” you said. “You really are, and here I thought I’d seen the worst of monsters, but clearly not.”
August slowly stepped back into your space again, catching you off guard with a flush to your cheeks as he loomed over you. But you kept his stare, even with your back against the wall, wings spread against the stone. “You may breathe your sweet words all you’d like, Angel, but it changes nothing,” He said, running a knuckle down your cheek. “If I am a monster, I am your monster, and I’m not going anywhere.” Smiling, his eyes glanced at your lips again. “Luckily for me…neither are you.”
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#august walker#demon!august#demon!august walker#demon august walker#august walker x reader#august walker fanfiction#august walker fluff#august walker fanfic#august walker angst#august walker imagine#august walker x you#august walker fic#august walker x y/n#august walker fanfics#henry cavill#henry cavill x you#henry cavill x reader#august walker smut#henry cavill x y/n#henry cavill fic#henry cavill fanfic#henry cavill fanfiction#henry cavill angst#henry cavill fluff#henry cavill smut
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Antidote for the Lovesick [Antarctic Empire!Wilbur x Reader]
(Fluff, Not a request: Another one inspired by light anons asks- anyways I'm planning on working on my requests again after this. School will be out for the year soon so I will be writing more in a few weeks!)
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While the Royal family was well known by default, (and fairly well liked as far as monarchies go) none were as popular as the prince second in line for the throne. It seemed he made for the public eye, able to talk himself out of any situation. With the handful of poems and songs that made it to the people rumors and half-jokes that he must be part siren stired around him. There's no doubt that even without his crown he would have made himself an adored public figure.
It doesn't take much thought to see why prince Wilbur was a star in the empire's negotiations. The Emperor himself was a close second but he was often more fussed about internal affairs. The crown prince was intimidating and a genius when it came to battle, but all that confidence melted when it came to social interactions. Meanwhile the youngest prince... let's just say he hadn't developed the filter needed for the job.
So the poet prince sat at the table and charmed his way into countless treaties and alliances. Needless to say he got very friendly with many rulers and ambassadors alike. The more connections the better after all, but it was only a matter of time before the wrong person got a little too attached.
It was a simple meeting with some local nobles, and one enchantress. It could be It's own story. One starting with the prince's usual banter and a crush forming in its wake, but ending in a turned down confession and alot of shouting. By the time he retired to his bed a soon to be revealed curse was taking its hold.
That morning was filled with emotions and panic. At first he wanted to believe it was nothing more than a sore throat. However the more he tried to make any sound the more he was forced to accept what had happened. His voice was turned to a screech akin to a horse being stabbed. He desperately attempted to sing, only producing a sound that sounded as painful was it was to make. He wasn't just silenced, his voice was replaced with the one of dying demons.
His younger brother was the first he ran into. At first the youngest laughed, after all it was one hell of a noise, but he soon realized just how shaken the poet was. From there it was very quick, how the news spread to the rest of the family. The youngest still didn't stop trying to make fun of his brothers situation. But soon the royal doctors where at his bed chambers with whatever potions and medicines that they thought could ease the affliction.
As soon as they came they left without the barest hint of success. As much as the winged Emperor would've preferred to keep this a private matter it was clear they needed as much talent as possible. They needed more ideas and the skills to make a cure to the curse. So an invention spread to every city and almost every town. It was a simple one, explaining the princes condition and offering a hefty reward to anyone who could put an end to it.
This little piece of paper changed your life.
You were a rather young alchemist, specializing in all remedies natural and magical. The money stood out to you more than most. You weren't starving by any means, but no one in your little rural home town was exactly rolling in cash. Before you knew it you were packing up your things and getting the final "good bye"s and "good luck"s from your family and friends as you set off to the capital.
You weren't the first one to try, not at all. In fact you were one of last with the confidence to try. The thing is, you didn't have the herbs you planned to use.
"Why wouldn't you have them ready?!" You understood why the crown prince was on edge, things were looking more and more hopeless with each attempt. You stayed calm and explained it The best you could.
"The plants I need can be very precise with the conditions they need to grow in, and are often conned on the market. I trust my own abilities more than a salesman looking to make a quick buck." You knew your words reached the trio listening to the pitch, so you made your request. "All I need is the space to grow them and time, they'll take about two months at most. Maybe the royal garden?"
They shared a glance, but it seemed they already had the answer decided.
"How much space do you need?"
You quickly got to work, preparing the soil for the medicine and writing down some notes about the exact qualities of the future remedy. By sunset you were tidying up the servants quarters they had provided so you can stay close the growing ingredients.
On one of your first evenings you were tending to the young plants. That was until you heard a heavenly sound drifting from the other side of the garden. At first you just enjoyed the background music while finishing up your current occupation. As soon as you could you put your watering can down you stood up, very eager to track down the source of the wordless lullaby.
It was a painting, the clouds of bushes more than tall enough to hide the silent signer sitting in the middle of them. The grass while not gone completely was worn out, a clear sign the prince sat in the almost enclosed ring often. You stood in the opening of a leafy doorway. Watching in awe as he played a guitar, eye's closed with so much ease you'd believe it was creating the music by itself.
Eventually the music faded, and in a kick of humor you clapped. Startled he jumped to his feet, calming down a little when he saw that you didn't look at all hostile.
"Sorry for the surprise, my prince." You marked with a small bow. You didn't miss the little uncomfortable look that flashed across his face. "But I couldn't help but notice your song, it's absolutely amazing." You offered with a light voice. "I- I get the rumors now." You could tell you caught his interest with that. "Can you play some more for me, these plants grow faster and better with the company of music."
Rather or not that's just a myth you weren't entirely sure, but with a small smile he honored the request. He followed you out of his little hedge room and closer the area you were tending to. Sitting on a nearby bench watching you work on the newest attempt to reclaim his unnatural voice.
"How about I get to know my patient a little?" The music hiccuped in its players curiosity, silently prompting you to continue. "I ask you some questions, yes or no ones. It might be helpful when it comes to fine-tuning this" you gestured to the dirt that would soon be covered with fully grown medicinal plants. In return he gave his first answer, a nod.
Over the days you grew fond of the routine you fell into. Sometimes you would be asking questions, looking up from the garden to catch his answer. Sometimes you would be telling him stories from your home, about the many people who have come to you for remedies. Sometimes there would be no words, just the gorgeous calming sounds of his music. You could both feel how comfortable this was.
"Would you prefer if I called you only Wilbur?"
A happy nod.
Only Wilbur was very different from prince Wilbur. You've always thought of the prince as this fox, prideful and cunning and charming in untrustworthy ways. But only Wilbur wasn't on this higher devine level, he was a person. A person with passions and vulnerabilities. Only Wilbur melted ideas about himself you didn't even realize you harbored. You liked only Wilbur, that was certain.
You made a promise to both yourself and to him that day. You would lift the curse, you had to.
It had been 43 days, the herbs were ready. "Maybe music did make them grow faster" you entertained. It was the only day you were with the plants without Wilbur. He was in his bed chambers so you could focus on brewing.
You looked over your notes thousands of time over. When you took this job you knew it was going to be one of your most important ever, but now you weren't just curing a prince- you were curing a friend. You paused in setting up your equipment. The term friend felt, incorrect with how exactly you felt about Wilbur. You shoved down the thoughts and continued, now was not the time.
Was it hours, or was it a few minutes? You couldn't tell and you didn't care. In a glass bottle you held the product of your labor. Corked and wrapped in many clothes before being nestled in your bag just to be safe. You took a deep breath and set off for Wilburs room.
He hesitated taking the bottle from you, like he had grown attached to his own silence. When he did take the potion it was all still slow and methodical. As if taking the cork off wrong could ruin everything. It felt like your entire body was on stand-by, paused as he downed the entire container. With a small drink of water he waited for a minute.
Then with a little nod from you, he hummed. The simple notes never sounded so rich and deep, filled with over a month of built up thoughts and emotions. Two faces lit up hearing it.
"You- you really did it." Wilbur was so quiet. As if speaking too loudly could break the newly repaired sound.
Then laughter, and the rambling of words that didn't need to make sense. Because you could hear them.
Then a hug, one of so much more than gratitude. One accompanied with an over abundance of "Thank you"s.
"How could I ever make this up to you" He only now slowed down, only enough to take your input.
Looking over at a familiar instrument you gave that input to him, "Can you play some more for me, my prince." He chuckled, a sound that you already loved as he sat back down on the bed with his guitar.
You recognized the song. It backdroped your first siting of him. Only now did you finally hear it in its entirety. It was a love song. Lyrics sweet and sincere and raw all rolled up by the accompanying strumming. When the last cord drifted off he looked at you, eagerly awaiting your response.
"If I understood the rumors then, now I just might be a believer." How much of that was exaggeration, you honestly couldn't say.
"I'm assuming that's good."
"Trust me, it's more than good." Watching as put the instrument back. "You should probably go tell the others the good news. Especially so I can get my money" you added jokingly. With that you got one last hug and thank you before you both left the room.
As you were walking back to your room something hit you. The realization that this was over. You were going to your temporary room and packing up so you could leave. You never expected to bond with the prince this much, and in the moment you regretted it. If only a little. You swallowed the sudden mood shift and started packing.
"Hey where are you going!?" An already familiar excited voice rang out, running towards you.
"I'm getting ready to leave." You said, bluntly.
"Wait, really?" As if he didn't know you weren't moving in permanently. Without thinking he grabbed your arm like you trying to run away. "We're having a big feast tonight, to celebrate your achievement. You should probably be there."
"That sounds great." You could feel the wave of sadness fade off.
"I thought I always sound great." You chuckled.
"I really wish I could deny that."
"No you don't."
"Only because I wouldn't get my money if I could."
"Come on, that's not the only reason."
"Like it's any secret I care about you."
That put an end to his humor, "Here, let's get ready."
#shepard ram writes#mcyt x reader#mcyt x y/n#mcyt x you#dream smp x y/n#dream smp x you#dream smp x reader#c: wilbur#dsmp x reader#dsmp x y/n#dsmp x you#wilbur x reader#wilbur x y/n#wilbur x you
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Suicidal Misunderstanding XXII
Part I - - - - - - - - - - Part XIX - - - - Part XX - - - - Part XXI
Star Wars Time Travel AU #27
“Thank you for coming to see me on such short notice,” Palpatine said warmly, smoothly guiding Padme to a seat and pouring her a cup of tea.
“Of course, Chancellor Palpatine,” she replied cordially, gracefully settling down with a billowing of fabric. “Anything for a fellow former Ruler of Naboo. How might I be of service?”
Palpatine’s smile faded into a concerned grimace.
“I’ve just come from a...disturbing meeting with the Jedi and wanted to see if you perhaps wanted to discuss things. I know you’ve been considered...close with both Master Kenobi and Knight Skywalker.”
“I consider them both good friends of mine,” Padme confirmed, stomach churning even as she remained outwardly calm. “Though I’m not privy to the contents of your meeting. Is there something you wish to relay to the Senate at large?”
Palpatine sighed, abandoning his seat in favor of strolling to the window. Padme remained seated in place, refusing to turn her gaze to follow his motion, instead sipping her over brewed tea and allowing the Chancellor to address the back of her head, as he apparently wanted her to address the back of his.
“I received an...upsetting call from Anakin yesterday, regarding Master Kenobi. At the time I’m afraid I had no idea what he was referring to, only learning after the fact...well.”
Padme’s blood boiled at the cheap conversational fishing, still remembering how broken-up Anakin had been about the Chancellor’s inherently disturbing ‘betrayal.’ Not as much as he was about the prospect of losing Kenobi so tragically but...
Padme took another sip of tea. “Master Kenobi’s had a number of burdens placed on his shoulders over the course of the war,” she finally said, tone utterly devoid of color.
“Of course, yes, of course,” the Chancellor agreed absently.
Padme itched to scream at him, demanding to know if Kenobi was even alive, if Anakin had done something rash since running out that morning, but she was far to practiced to need to even bite her tongue. The back of her neck prickled with the weight of the Chancellor’s gaze. Padme gently set down the Felucian porcelain cup, and began slowly pouring herself more tea from the pot.
Palpatine abandoned his position by the window, slowly walking back to the ornate armchair across the table. Padme resisted the urge to crow with victory.
He looked at her with soulfully distraught eyes. “I must ask- have Obi-Wan Kenobi or Anakin Skywalker contacted you today?”
Padme felt a wave of relief overtake her. Not dead then, thank the force.
“I spoke with Knight Skywalker briefly this morning,” she said out-loud, allowing her brow to wrinkle with confusion. “He was concerned about Master Kenobi’s wellbeing, but quite vague. I’ve been in meetings all day since.”
“Neither of them have contacted you since this morning?” The Chancellor pressed, staring at her intensely. Padme felt a flicker of irritation.
“I haven’t spoken to Master Kenobi in over a month,” she replied stiffly. “Chancellor, what exactly is this about?”
Palpatine sighed.
“I’m afraid Master Kenobi suffered from...a break in mental health three days ago, and this morning demonstrated...an increased severity in symptoms.”
Senator Amidala’s hands tightened involuntary in her lap. “Is he...alright?” she asked carefully, thoughts flickering with images worse then the nightmare her husband had walked in on.
The Chancellor smiled sympathetically. “Physically, he’s fine. It’s the danger he presents to others that the Jedi are concerned about.”
Padme drew back in shock as the Chancellor clearly expected her to do. “I beg your pardon?”
“I know, I know I could hardly believe it myself. But he gravely injured Knight Skywalker in his initial fit; Anakin was so shaken that he stepped down from command this morning! And now the two are missing!”
She gasped, bringing a hand daintily to her mouth, primarily to cover up any perceived disagreement with Palpatine’s narrative.
That’s not why he stepped down...he could but lying but I think he’s failed to speak with Anakin despite his attempts...and I have a hard time believing Anakin’s missing for any reason other then his own volition.
“Missing!” she repeated inanely. “And they think Master Kenobi might be the one behind it? With...ill intent?”
“It’s the Jedi’s working theory,” Palpatine equivocated. He took a sip of cold tea, staring out the window in a lengthy pause. Padme followed suit, picking up her cup and staring out blankly as the silence continued, not turning her head when the Chancellor finally deigned to speak once more.
“As you can imagine...” he said hesitantly. “This could have severe political repercussions for the War and the Republic.”
“Indeed,” she agreed. “Extreme care will need to be taken in breaking the news to the Senate and public.”
“Then you do believe the Senate must be informed?” Palpatine asked earnestly.
Padme paused, taking a long drink of the now nearly intolerably tepid brew.
“I imagine they’re absence from the war would be noted one way or another,” she replied slowly. “Considering they are the ‘posterboys,’ in a manner of speaking, of the Jedi part in the war effort.”
“Yes, of course. I just hate to think how this might shake the public’s image of the Jedi, especially considering how unfairly the media’s been treating them as this terrible war’s dragged on...”
Padme made a noncommittal hum of agreement in response, sensing they were now reaching the part of the conversation where the Chancellor would ask her to do something seemingly innocuous.
“I wondered if you, as a known ally of the Jedi, would be so kind as to help me draft a statement of address? Help soften the language, so to speak.”
Padme smiled innocently. “Anything I can do to help. Of course, I would need access to the full report the Jedi wrote, to make certain I’m not misrepresenting matters.”
“Naturally,” Palpatine, to her surprise, agreed, picking up a datapad from the nearby stack. “Everything they gave me is on here.”
Padme set down the drink with a hint of finality and gingerly accepted the pad. “I’ll look it over at once, unless there’s anything else you wanted to discuss...?”
“No dear, that’s all. Please take all the time you need. I know the news might be...disturbing.”
They stood as one, Chancellor Palpatine politely escorting her to the exit and nodding to the Jedi Knight standing guard outside. The door shut gently behind her and his grandfatherly smile dropped into cool calculation, striding back to the window to survey the end of day traffic passing below.
She was more fearful of the thought of him coming to harm then harming others...practically relieved when I told her that he had vanished...expecting something more tragic it seems. Perhaps Kenobi truly was closer to breaking then I had estimated...how pathetic. When I think of all the ways he’s ruined my plans by not dying...of course he chooses the most melodramatic way out possible. I’d thank him for shaking my apprentice so severely if he hadn’t inexplicably managed to pin the blame on me.
Kenobi was clearly in some form of death throes this morning, yet the report made no mention of such a fact...I suppose half-dead and half-mad is a touch more vulnerable then their pride allows them to admit...or perhaps it’s simply so I take the security ‘threat’ more seriously...
Amidala was more hostile then usual...what could the man have possibly said to affect them both? The war? Something more personal? If Skywalker hadn’t cut me off...I’ll need to play this delicately, can’t have him losing faith now...naturally even in utter self-defeat, Kenobi manages to remain thorn in my side. Still, he’s practically handed me all I need to cripple the last shred of faith the public has in the order. The squid seemed certain he hadn’t fallen, at least not yet, but the fear of him doing so is...fascinating. Perhaps Skywalker will be forced to kill him, well ahead of schedule.
I don’t usually typically enjoy surprises but...
Part XXIII
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