#I can feel my brain cells dying

[unnamed-blob]

I am learning blender

No I am not ok

[daddy-mothman]

sometimes I come to work and it's fine. sometimes I come to work and within three hours I'm ready to gone girl myself. joan of leeds I'm taking inspiration from you

[steamcaptain]

.

[pisshandkerchief]

oh my fucking GOD I need to unplug.

[ellalalala]

lord give me the strength to finish this chapter tonight

[diah-the-demon]

you ever just think what you want done with your body after you die

[slashmagpie]

Voter fraud magpie! You told me to!

a baking/cooking session between two or three hermits and friends

Scar is so shocked he nearly drops the baking tray.

“You’ve never made cookies?” he cries, scandalised.

“Uhh, no?” Etho blinks at him.

Scar claps a hand to his chest. “Etho, my friend! This is a great trav—traves—tragesdy we must right right this instant!”

“Uh huh.” Etho continues to stare at him blankly. “Why?”

“Why? Why?” Scar splutters. “Because—because cookies, Etho! They’re full of joy and love and magic and chocolate!” 

“I mean, I’ve eaten cookies. I’ve had cookies before, Scar.”

“But you’ve never made them.”

“I really don’t see why it’s such a big…” Etho sighs. “Fine, fine, I’ll make cookies with you.”

“Yes!” Scar pumps his fist in the air. “Lucky for you, I was just about to get started on a new batch.” He wheels over to the counter of his cookie factory, and Etho follows, peering around at the complicated mechanics filling the workshop. It’s not at all like the machinery Etho’s familiar with, the simple logic of redstone: this is all builder’s magic, in all its finicky glory.

Etho suddenly starts to feel nervous about this whole idea.

“Scar, are you sure…” Scar ignores him, or, more accurately, just doesn’t hear him, leafing through a large recipe book and babbling. “I’ve been working on this new recipe, a little more experimental, I’m sure it’ll be really good once the, uh, kinks are all worked out of it, but since this is your first time, we’ll go for a classic. A good ol’ elven cookie. It’s like a chocolate chip cookie, but with a twist!”

Etho frowns. “What’s the twist?”

Scar just smirks, eyes twinkling. “Well, you’ll have to find out, won’t you? Here, help me measure out the ingredients.” 

Scar shoves flour and sugar and butter into Etho’s hands, and Etho turns his attention to measuring them out correctly, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Then, Scar asks him to fetch something from across the room, and Etho gets… a little lost looking for it.

“Uh, Scar? I can’t find the salt. Are you sure it was over here?” 

“It should be! I could’ve sworn it was… Ohh, no, I’m an idiot, it’s right here! Sorry Etho.”

When Etho turns back, Scar is smiling a little too widely.

“What did you do?”

“What? What makes you think I did anything?”

“You’re smiling at me!” Etho accuses. “You did something, I know you did.”

“Me? Noooo.” 

“Scar.”

Scar sighs. “Okay, fine, I was adding the secret ingredient.”

Etho snorts. “You’re that committed?”

“A good baker, much like a good magician, never reveals his secrets,” Scar says. “Okay, I think we’re done. You ready to get these babies in the oven?”

“I guess.”

They spoon the dough onto the tray and Scar slides it into the oven. Etho leans back against the counter as they wait for the cookies to bake.

“So,” he says into the peaceful quiet, “why did you really make me bake with you?”

“What? Etho! You’re hurting my feelings! Can a man not want to show his friend the wonders of baking?”

“Sure,” Etho says, “but I noticed you messaging Grian.”

“I always message Grian.”

Etho raises his eyebrows. Scar raises his back, trying to seem innocent.

Grian comes crashing in through the doorway in a blur of red feathers. “Scar! I did it, I set the… uh. Hiiii Etho, fancy seeing you here!”

“Hi, Grian,” Etho greets. “So, where’s this trap at my base, then?”

Grian sweats. “This—what? There’s no trap at your base. Why would there be a trap at your base? That’d just be ridiculous!”

Etho stares at him. Grian gulps.

“Scatter!”

Grian takes off in another poof of feathers. Scar yelps and grabs one of his chorus fruit cookies, disappearing from view with a bite. Etho just sighs.

The timer dings. Etho pulls the cookies out of the oven.

They do look pretty good. Maybe Scar was right, about this whole baking thing.And surely Scar won’t mind if Etho pockets the whole batch. After all, he did make them.

Vote Etho! Request a fic!

[kierancaz]

Saw one of my mutuals reblog about a new otome game and immediately went to download it bc why not and it is written like a really bad fanfic

[outcastiology]

Ayo fuck USA lmaooooo

[slonkel]

I think I made a dumblr account instead of a tumblr account.

[godmadeaterribleerror]

No Love Lost Series Masterlist

Read on A03! - Listen to the Playlist!

Rating/Warnings: 18+ for canon-typical violence, swearing, mental health issues, mentions of rape/non-con, and sexual content.

Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff.

Series Summary

Three years ago you were normal, the only demons you had to fight were your own, and you the most you knew of Vought and the Boys were what you saw on TV. But then you met Homelander at a stupid party, and woke up the next morning in a cell.

After almost two and a half years of you being Homelander's little project, Soldier Boy was woken up only go rouge and be put back under. Somewhere in there, you escaped. And before Queen Maeve went underground, she told William Butcher about the Anomaly, a powerful supe who recently escaped Vought captivity and may have an agenda against Homelander.

One month later, the Boys found you.

You spend the next five months helping them best you can, though your control over your powers is weak and your fear of Homelander makes you useless in combat. But you get an idea. A stupid, dangerous idea that turns you into Soldier Boy's keeper, giving him a second chance to take down Homelander, you hanging over his shoulder, a threat should he want to go nuclear again. It's exhausting and frustrating, and you might kill him and yourself as soon as this is over, but you said whatever it takes.

And this is what it takes.

Author's Note

This story is non-canon compliant, with the two main differences being;

1) Butcher doesn't have brain cancer, because I said so.

2) All of Gen V didn't take place, because I don't want to deal with the whole supe-plauge thing. Also that's too many characters to keep track of squad.

Because of this, the story will start in a similar setting as s4e5, but with different events leading up to it, and will deal with similar themes and have similar events to the rest of s4, but at an inconsistent rate. If you have any questions about other, smaller changes I have made, feel free to ask!

Navigation Key

❤️‍🔥 = Smut

🚩 = Additional Warnings

Chapter List

Chapter 1 - Where Winning Looks Like Losing Chapter 2 - A New Kind of Tension Chapter 3 - You've Torn Your Dress 🚩 Chapter 4 - You Might Be The Same As Me Chapter 5 - Popped, Cool, and Ready to Go Chapter 6 - I've Been Searching for a Fortified Defense Chapter 7 - The Blinding Ultra-Violence 🚩 Chapter 8 - I Just Find My Way Back ❤️‍🔥🚩 Chapter 9 - Can't Cover It Up ❤️‍🔥 Chapter 10 - Lead Me To The Ark ❤️‍🔥 Chapter 11 - The Wolves or The Ocean Rocks Chapter 12 - While My Blood's Still Flowing Chapter 13 - The Terror of Knowing Chapter 14 - Choke on Sun Chapter 15 - I Found A Martyr ❤️‍🔥 Chapter 16 - Let It Flood ❤️‍🔥 🚩 Chapter 17 - Make My Chest Stir Chapter 18 - Something In The Static ❤️‍🔥 Chapter 19 - Don't Look Back 🚩 Chapter 20 - Forget to Fall Down Chapter 21 - Some Things You Just Can't Speak About ❤️‍🔥 🚩 Chapter 22 - I Stayed In The Darkness With You Chapter 23 - Wherever You're Going ❤️‍🔥 Chapter 24 - You'll Never Be Alone ❤️‍🔥 Chapter 25 - All I Know ❤️‍🔥 Chapter 26 - I’ve Loved Everything About You That Hurts ❤️‍🔥 Chapter 27 - Just A Shot Away (11/12) Chapter 28 - Something That I'm Supposed to Be (11/19)

Bonus Footage (Standalone Chapters)

Dying’s Up to Me - A Prologue. Takes place 6ish months before Chapter 1. 🚩 Back to Here - Request! They get horny at the dining table, and Butcher takes it personally. Takes place in Chapter 14. It's So Simple - You make Ben do icebreakers. He's a little bitch about it. Takes place in Chapter 14. Just Your Time - You give Ben internet lessons. Takes place in Chapter 14. As Much As I Do - Request! Ben finds you dancing, is immediately very normal about it. Takes place after Chapter 14 and around Chapter 15. Calling Your Name - Ben's first birthday awake isn't great. Takes place in Chapter 19. ❤️‍🔥 I Skip My Pride - You share some music with Ben over text. Takes place in Chapter 22. The Only Place That I Call Home - It's team game night, and everyone is sick of you and Ben's shit. Takes place in Chapter 24. ❤️‍🔥 Can't Help Myself - Request! Ben has a breeding kink, and you're incredibly horny, so it works. Takes place in around Chapter 24 and Chapter 25. ❤️‍🔥 Anywhere Else Is Hollow - A halloween special episode! Takes place in Chapter 25. It Was Smiling Down (11/8) A Call To Motion (11/15)

[jinjeriffic]

DCxDP Prophecy Universe Part 3

Part 2

Tim reached up to rub at his temples and groaned. This was getting him nowhere. Normally he enjoyed going down the research rabbit-hole but this was ridiculous! Paranormal sciences were a bad joke. Most of it was conjecture, hearsay and unprovable theories with just enough scientific sounding jargon peppered in to confuse a layperson. Peer-review was practically non-existent, not to mention a proper scientific method. Francis Bacon would be rolling in his grave!

The slight hiss of the elevator doors opening interrupted his thoughts.

“Hey Replacement, you missed dinner!” Jason called, sauntering over with a loaded plate in hand. He set down a sandwich next to Tim’s elbow. “Alfie says he’s cutting off your coffee supply until you get some damn sleep. I’m pretty sure he’s gonna start prepping the knock-out gas soon!” he quipped, leaning his hip against the Batcomputer’s console. “Research on the League giving you trouble?”

“I wish.” Tim sighed, reaching for the sandwich, “The Assassins have actually been pretty quiet recently. I found some leads on suspicious political donations in Italy, but nothing I can tie to them directly. Talia’s in Paris as far as I can tell, working at an investment firm for God knows what reason. Probably money laundering related. And the ones holed up in Nanda Parbat have been quiet as murderous little church mice.”

“Ra’s isn’t up to anything? Colour me shocked.” Jason drawled sardonically, “You sure he’s not cooking up a new batch of demon spawn in that mountain of his?”

Tim shook his head. “You know Bruce destroyed his cloning labs after the last… incident. And I’ve found no records of the League procuring the necessary materials or equipment to restart production.” he wrinkled his nose, “Of course it’s possible that they used a shell company we haven’t come across yet, but I believe the odds are pretty low.”

“So what’s got your panties in a bunch then?”

Tim’s mouth twisted in a frown. “Ghosts.”

“Ah.”

Jason stared off into space and Tim took a bite of his sandwich. Egg-salad, score! The Cave was silent for a while, only disturbed by the noise of the actual bats heading out for their nightly hunt.

“I can’t tell you for sure if ghosts are real or not. I don’t remember anything from when I was… dead.” Jason said haltingly, and Tim stilled. “But we’ve seen people come back under pretty weird circumstances. So why not ghosts?” Jason shrugged.

Tim chewed and swallowed before replying. “Because it’s one thing for the physical body to be restored, but some kind of nebulous ‘spirit’ lingering? Why don’t we see ghosts all the time then? Why don’t people come back? Why not…” Tim broke off.

“Your Dad?”

Tim nodded and dropped the remains of the sandwich back on the plate. It suddenly looked as appetising as cardboard.

“I don’t know, birdie. We still don’t know why I came back.” Jason snorted “Maybe the universe just has a sick sense of humour.”

Tim’s lips curled up in a mirthless smile. “Maybe the universe missed your terrible puns. Some of those still haunt me.”

Jason barked out a surprised laugh. “That was terrible!”

“The universe clearly made a grave mistake.”

“Stop it, I can feel my brain cells dying!” Jason groaned and gave Tim a light punch to the shoulder.

“Well we can’t have that, you have so few already!” Tim snarked, then quickly leaned to the side to evade Jason’s attempted noogie. Jason huffed and stepped back, crossing his arms.

“All right mister teenage genius. What have you dug up about ghosts then?”

Tim rolled his eyes. “There’s obviously tons of folklore from all over the world. Pretty much every mythology has stories about the spirits or souls of the dead returning to haunt the living. But if there’s a scientific basis to all this then it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Even the supposed leaders in the field are hopelessly biased.” He pulled up some documents on the screen. “Take these for example. The Doctors Fenton are supposed experts in the field of ‘Ecto-Biology’ as they call it, but their research papers would never fly with a proper scientific journal. A lot of it comes across as blatantly xenophobic towards the entities they are supposedly studying and their research methods seem geared towards confirming what they view as foregone conclusions. And most of their peers operate on the same track.”

Jason hummed thoughtfully as he skimmed one of the articles in question. “Do you think there’s anything to this, or is it all just a hoax?”

Tim snorted. “If there is, they haven’t offered any conclusive proof. Though they certainly seem to have made it work for them. The Fentons have a series of patents for weapons and defenses against these supposed ‘ecto-entities’ and it looks like there’s plenty of people gullible enough to buy them. I haven’t taken a closer look at their products yet, but a lot of it looks like something out of a pulp sci-fi movie.” He pulled up the image of what looked like a bazooka with green glowing parts. Jason whistled.

“So, con artists or mad scientists?”

“Could be both. Their financial records are all over the place and they’ve had some large transactions with what I’m pretty sure are shell companies in recent years. They live and operate out of a small city in Illinois.” Tim said, pulling up the relevant documents on screen.

“Amity Park?” Jason read aloud.

“Supposedly it’s ‘The Most Haunted City in America’. Seems on brand, doesn’t it?”

“It probably helps them stay in business. It looks like they have kids?” Jason pointed at the tax returns. Tim typed some search queries into the system.

“Two. One in high school, one just started her first semester at Metropolis University. With a full scholarship to boot.” He spent a few more minutes hacking into the university’s systems. “Here we go, Jasmine Fenton. Looks like she’s going for a psychology degree. And… hm…” Tim trailed off. Jason quickly realised what had caught his attention.

“‘The Damaging Effects of Envy Towards Metahumans? That’s a hell of a topic for a freshman-year essay.” Jason remarked.

“Yes. I wonder…” Tim drummed his fingers on the keyboard. “She might have some insight into her parents’ research.”

“And at a cursory glance, she didn’t drink whatever Kool-Aid her parents were serving.” Jason finished for him. “You wanna go pump her for information?”

“I might as well. If nothing else, maybe we can shut down a couple of mad scientists before they become a problem.” Tim stood up and stretched. “Time for a field trip!”

Part 4

[artiststarme]

It's No Secret... Anymore

Thank you to @mx-jinxous for the prompt! This took a really long time to write but it was so much fun playing with everyone's dynamics. I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

Steve felt like he was dreaming. It felt like he was looking through someone else’s eyes, dissociating far from his own body. He couldn’t feel the weight of Eddie’s slowly-fading body in his arms or the burning of the wounds in his sides. He wasn’t aware of where he was or if anyone was following him. He was purely relying on muscle memory and muscle memory alone. 

He didn’t see the speeding car in front of him that swerved into a nearby bush and fence post. He hardly noticed the hands pulling him backward and out of the road. He came back to himself though once he heard his brother’s voice. 

“Steve? Steve-O? Come on buddy, you’re worrying me here. Where have you been? I haven't seen your ass all week. Come on man, are you… are you fucking bleeding? Brother, answer me. We can’t be out here, there’s an earthquake going on. Come with me.”

Steve blinked just to come face to face with Phil. He was shining his flashlight on Eddie’s face against Steve’s shoulder but his eyes were focused directly on Steve’s.

“You with me, bro?” His mustache twitched unhappily and Steve rushed to answer. 

“Um, no. Not really. I think he’s dying and I kinda might be too. And I think my friends are missing? Where am I?” Steve couldn’t get his thoughts together cohesively. His mind was fractured, overcome with too much trauma in too little time. 

Phil just looked more concerned at his words with his face becoming vaguely panicked once he looked at Eddie. He looked quickly up at Steve, down at Eddie, then back at Steve. “Is this Eddie Munson? The murderer Eddie Munson? The Eddie Munson that has been on the run all week? Good golly Steve, I’m trying not to curse but what the fuck?”

Steve just looked at the pinched expression of pain that Eddie held and murmured, “he’s my friend.”

“Oh my god, Steve. Fine, we’ll deal with this later. Think you can walk to my squad car? I kinda damaged the front end but I’m sure it's semi-driveable. Powell’s tied up with the gates to hell opening up, I have plenty of time to take care of you.”

“Yeah, I can- I can walk,” and he could with the support of Phil. He felt his brother supporting both his and Eddie’s weight until they were deposited into the backseat of the patrol unit. 

“And uh, is the girl hiding in the bushes with you? She’s kinda been watching us for awhile. You might have a stalker, little bro.” He shined his flashlight over to the bush and saw a sandy bob duck behind the foliage. 

“Robin?” Steve muttered, still out of it and only on the verge of consciousness. 

“Buckley, is that you? Come on, you’re coming with us back to Steve’s place. Let’s go,” Phil waved the light between the two. He had both hands on his hips and stood like a disappointed middle-aged dad. “I don’t have time to be doing things willy-nilly. Let’s go!”

Robin poked her head out of the bushes and scooted gracelessly over to the car until she was able to bump elbows with Steve. They both relaxed a smidgen within the same space, the two brain cells reuniting after a stressful ten minutes apart.

Phil hopped in the driver’s seat and bumped his head against the steering wheel. What had this idiot gotten himself into now?

~*~*~*~

By the time Phil arrived at his house at the edge of the suburbs, all three kids were out cold in his backseat. He stood at the open back door for a moment before sighing and lugging first Robin, then Eddie, then Steve into his living room, huffing with exertion all the while. He would definitely have to cut back on the station donuts and start exercising again. Right after he dealt with the dying fugitive on his brother’s couch, the blood seeping through Steve’s shirt, and his brother’s unconscious best friend that was snoring atrociously. 

Jesus Christ. 

Well, he had plenty of practice with medical care from his EMT training so he got to work. He got the first aid kit out of the squad car and started with the murderous Munson. Phil didn’t know what had happened to these kids but it couldn’t be any good. Munson’s entire torso was torn apart like he’d been gnawed on by a wild animal. It wasn’t bleeding too bad but he was missing chunks of skin, so much so that Phil couldn’t sew him up with just sutures. Hell, this kid was going to need skin grafts. A lot of them. 

He put gauze on the worst of the wounds then cautiously stepped over to Steve. What he’d seen on Munson made him hesitant to look at the damage but surely it couldn’t be worse than that. Right? As soon as he lifted Steve’s shirt, he came immediately to two conclusions. 

1. Steve had a lot more chest hair than he did and that was totally unfair.

2. The wounds on Steve’s abdomen were deep, infected, and horrific. 

Just like with Munson, there was nothing to close. All he saw were missing chunks of skin and muscle that should have been in his sides. The marred remains were covered in grime and yellowish puss that made the entire room smell of infection. 

Fuck, he couldn’t help them here. He had to get them, all three of them because he wasn’t touching an unconscious girl for anything, to a hospital. But that begged the question; which hospital? Munson… Eddie was wanted all through the state of Indiana for at least three murders and an assault. If he took him to any nearby hospital, he would be arrested and surely there was more to the story if Steve was protecting him so much. He couldn’t let one of Steve’s only friends get arrested without hearing the story from the both of them. 

He had to take these three up to a hospital in Illinois. Chicago was roughly four hours away, he knew from his and Steve’s annual visits to their great aunt in Evanston. It was a risk, both for aiding and abetting a wanted fugitive as well as hoping he survived that long of a drive, but his gut told him to trust his brother on this one. So that’s what he did. He loaded the three teens back into his patrol car and mumbled swears under his breath when he passed the “Leaving Hawkins” sign. He hoped to all that was mighty that he was making a good call. 

~*~*~*~

Steve woke up to familiar voices; one hushed and one screeching. 

“You kidnapped them?! You’re a cop, I thought you would help them but instead you drove them all the way to goddamn Chicago like some middle-aged pervert loser?” Steve came around to a loud argument between what sounded like Dustin and Phil. It was weird though because he’d never introduced the two. 

“Hey, listen here shithead, words hurt. I am not middle-aged, I’m 28. And why would I kidnap my own brother? I can legally take him anywhere, it's practically my birthright. I don’t have to go through all the work of kidnapping him.” Phil shook his head at Dustin.

“Stop trying to trick me, I know Eddie is an only child!”

“Munson?! I’m Steve’s big brother, you little gremlin. Can’t you see the resemblance?” He gestured between where Steve was groggily looking up at him and then back at himself. 

“No, but I can’t see anything past your outrageous mustache.” Steve saw Phil’s jaw drop and knew that Dustin had crossed a line. 

“You short fucker, that is too far! I take a lot of pride in this ‘outrageous mustache’,” Phil put air quotes around the offending remake before pointing an aggressive finger in Dustin’s direction. “I will absolutely take you off the visitation list, toothless. Do not test me.” 

“Don’t threaten me, I’ll report you to the authorities!” Dustin countered. 

“I am the authorities!” Phil dropped all decorum and screamed at practically the top of his lungs. 

Sensing enough was enough, Steve tried to push himself up to a sitting position before a burning in his sides caused him to fall back down. Both men (or one man and Dustin) stopped their squabbling and rushed to his sides.

“Steve, you’re hurt so don’t try to get up. Shit kid, let me get a nurse or something. You weren’t doing too hot.” With that Phil sprinted out of the room, presumably to the nurse’s station and Steve was left with Dustin, Nancy, Jonathan, and Robin. 

He looked blearily at all of them before asking the most important question, “where’s Eddie?”

They all parted to reveal Eddie lying in the bed next to him. His neck and chest were covered with bandages but his face looked peaceful. There were no cuffs on his wrists as Steve assumed there would be. He laid back again and let out a sigh. Everything was as it should be, he could finally relax.

“Um so Steve, don’t be mad but your brother can be really persuasive when he wants to be and you never introduced him as your brother so I just kind of assumed that we were getting captured by the police and that it was going to be so much worse than the Russians because I always thought Officer Callahan was kind of psycho. But then I woke up here and he bought me Cheetos so everything is fine. Except it's kind of not because you and Eddie have been out for a couple of days and I told Big Not-Harrington about the Upside Down and now he’s really worried. Why did you have to stay asleep so long, dingus? I missed you!”

Steve honestly zoned out when he heard “Cheetos” and only tuned back in when Robin, the usual physical affection-hater, threw herself on top of him in a hug. He withheld the grunt of pain and held her back just as hard. 

“What the hell just happened, bro? Like that was a lot of words, little bird lady. Woah.”

Steve didn’t know if he was hallucinating the long-haired surfer in a Hawaiian outfit or if Vecna had somehow managed to melt his mind after all but he had never been more confused in his life to see the new visitor make themselves known. 

“Who the fuck is that?” He muttered in absolute bafflement. 

Dustin sighed as he too wrestled a hug from Steve, “that’s Argyle. Come on, Steve. Keep up.”

“Like the sock pattern? How many drugs am I on right now?!”

~*~*~*~

“... and that’s kind of why I didn’t tell you about the Upside Down,” Steve finished from his seat beside Eddie, their hands tangled together as they both sat across from Phil. 

He looked at both of them with a completely deadpan stare. “Again, but the truth this time.”

Eddie huffed in annoyance. “We are telling you the truth, man! An evil wizard guy named Vecna-”

“Slash Henry, slash One,” Steve and Robin interjected in unison.

“-possessed four teenagers to end the world or something and broke their bodies apart with his mind. Then the angry mob thought it was me but I would never kill anyone, especially not Chrissy. She was always really nice to me and remembered my band from the talent show in middle school. And then we got stuck in Hell where evil demon bats ate our flesh and tentacles ripped through the earth. Then we saved Nancy from the evil mind melt powers by playing her favorite song. After that, we made a plan and she shot Vecna and killed him while Dustin and I were decoys where I was attacked.”

“Then I went back for Eddie and carried him out where you almost ran us over. The end,” Steve emphasized the finale with a deliberate nod of his still-aching head. 

Phil looked at them with the most exasperation Steve had ever seen in his life. He let out a pitying chuckle, his poor brother didn’t sign up for this. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

Phil's eyes rolled so hard that Steve could tell he saw stars. He could almost see the scream being prepared in his throat and couldn't gather enough strength to escape it.

"STEVEN MICHAEL HARRINGTON, WHAT THE MOTHERLOVING FUCK?!"

"Look Philly, I'll say it one more time then I'm done, okay? It first started way back when Will Byers went missing in 1983..."

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[jjuniehao]

[02:39 pm]: bang chan

“come on, you need some fresh air!” you whine, squeezing chan’s cheeks when he still won’t budge, “maybe touching some grass, too. all you do is sit in this stuffy room, you probably have brain cells dying by the minute!”

chan breaks through his straight-faced demeanour and snorts at you, hands finding your waist and pulling you onto his lap, chin resting on your shoulder.

“baby, i’d love to, really. i wanna go on a real date with you so bad, but right now i just can’t spare the time, i’m sorry,” he mumbles, imagining the scowl you’re most likely wearing on your face right now, pressing a kiss behind your ear in hopes of soothing you a little.

his hopes be damned. though.

you groan, taking your boyfriend by surprise when you rise up from his lap, placing your hands on his shoulders and bending your knees to be on eye level with him.

“listen, mister. i get it, okay? i get it so hard— really, i understand, work is demanding and it’s hard to stay on top,” the serious look on your face makes him break out in a goofy smile, nodding along in hopes of maybe, perhaps receiving some praise for being such a diligent, hard worker from his favourite person…?

“but,” your tone drastically changes, furrowed eyebrows and lips pulled into a pout he’d really love to kiss instead of having you rip into him and his “capitalistic victim mindset” that “keeps him working until he eventually disintegrates with no trace left since he lived to work instead of working to live.”

pretty dramatic, but he gets your point. kinda.

“i’ve tried it all. i tried to be all caring and gentle to get you to take a break for just one night, i even brought cupcakes!”

“they were so good, ba—“

“i tried to be strict, i tried to be all smart and brought up all the health issues overworking and stress can cause,” chan looks at you sheepishly, feeling a little guilty for getting you so worried and desperate, though it also makes his heart flutter in a weird, twisted way.

“so i’m just going to be honest, and maybe a little selfish, and you’ll be the good boyfriend i know you are and agree with me, okay?” chan blinks at you, and before he can even come up with a counter, you have his cheeks cupped in your hands, determined eyes boring into his.

“i miss you. i miss spending time with you. i want my boyfriend. you always say i’m allowed to be a little selfish, so i’m cashing that in right now. i want to be selfish and i want you to go and have this cute little picnic i prepared. i even made mini sandwiches. do you know how annoying it is to cut lettuce into little squares?” chan stays quiet for a while. every second of silence makes the confidence you had built up shatter a little more, your eyes starting to nervously dart all over his face.

suddenly, you’re pulled back into his lap, face in his hands, cheeks squished, frantic kisses planted all over your face.

“wah, you’re so cute. what am i gonna do with you? how am i gonna work from now on when all i’ll be able to think about is your little speech?” he whines, pressing a kiss to your lips every few words, making you burst out in giggles he loves so much. “is that a yes?” the hopefulness in your voice makes chan melt, stealing another quick kiss from you.

“yeah but also no? i have maybe,” he reaches towards his phone laying on the desk, checking the time, “around 20 minutes. think we can make it outside, eat, and be back in that time?” chan is almost sure you’ll refuse, upset that he can’t spare you a little more time. instead, you practically shoot up from his lap, “well, then what are you waiting for?”

and with that you’re flying out the door and down the hall, chan scrambling to catch up with you, stupid lovestruck smile on his face.

part of the bucketlist boyfriends series

*i can’t link it since it messes w the tags </3

[junrenjun]

Burn

omega!minghao x beta!reader x alpha!mingyu (part of my understand series)

genre: fluff, smut (18+ please!), angst for 2.2 seconds

wc: 3.2k

warnings: fem reader, smut and suggestive material throughout, unprotected sex (have safe sex plz), threesome lol, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, very heavy member x member in this (don't like, don't read)

summary: minghao is finally ready to let y/n help with his heat.

a/n: this is basically porn with plot lol. @straykidsstanforeverandever requested this so enjoy :) also minghao will get his own standalone fic eventually. this is not his only feature in this series. oh and mingyu is a consent king ofc.

Minghao is antsy. That’s the best way he can put it. Preheat is, in his opinion, the worst part of his heat. There’s a constant nagging feeling that he gets. Like bugs under his skin. Or like someone is watching him but he can’t see them. Unsettling and it never goes away. It drives him batty every time.

Right now, he thinks, it’s driving Mingyu batty more than himself. The man in question is sitting on Jihoon’s bed, watching as Minghao paces around his nest once more. He tries his best to ignore the quizzical looks the alpha keeps sending his way, but to no avail. Eventually, he exasperatedly turns to him, hands on his hips, and asks, “what do you want?”

Mingyu has been the omega’s heat partner for far too long to even flinch at his tone. Instead, he sits further up in the bed and cocks his head at the man. “Are you sure it’s just preheat? You look stressed.”

He melts at the alpha’s soft tone, instincts dying down a bit when he realizes he doesn’t need to put up a fight. “I don’t know, Gyu. My brain keeps telling me that something is missing from my nest, but I can’t figure out what. I’m not sure if something is actually missing or I’m just paranoid.”

At these words, Mingyu gestures for the omega to come join him by the other bed and he does so, stopping to stand between his legs. The alpha runs his hands up Minghao’s legs and side, then intertwines their fingers. He looks up at his mate and says quietly, “are you sure it’s something and not someone?”

Minghao closes his eyes and lets his mind wander. He and Mingyu have talked about this already. Inviting you in to help with his heat. He wants it. He really does. But some little voice in the back of his brain screams at him, warning him that it’s not a good idea.

It’s stupid. He knows you aren’t a threat and would never do something to hurt him. But an omega’s self preservation instinct, especially while in heat, is quite strong. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been an official member of the pack, his brain is flashing warning signs at him and screaming “stranger.”

He doesn’t even realize he’s trembling until Mingyu’s hands wrap around his waist to steady him. His eyes flutter back open to look at the alpha beneath him, who whispers, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to Hao.”

The omega simply hums in response, raising a hand to brush a strand of hair out of Mingyu’s face. This time, it’s the alpha who closes his eyes. He leans into the touch as Minghao drags the hand down his face. 

A low rumble leaves Mingyu’s chest. He looks up when he hears the omega let out a small gasp. Minghao has his head thrown back and his chest is heaving a little bit. The alpha smirks a little bit at his reaction. 

“Don’t do that”, Minghao says breathlessly. “You’re going to make it come faster.”

He regretted the words the second they came out of his mouth. When he looks down, Mingyu’s smirk is miles wide. “I know a thing or two about making things come fast.”

The alpha receives a well-deserved slap on the arm. But it doesn’t stop him from scooping Minghao up before he has a chance to berate him for his lewd words. “C’mon omega”, he tells him, “let’s find y/n while you still have brain cells left.” The omega in question lets out a muffled, “hey,” from where his mouth is pressed up against Mingyu’s shoulder.

Minutes later, Mingyu deposits him in a lump on your bed. You raise an eyebrow at him, but don’t get a chance to ask any questions, because Minghao practically tackles you. Once sufficiently on top of you, he shoves his face into your neck, nose against your scent gland, and takes a giant whiff. Within seconds, he’s melting against you and you’re left with an omega shaped blob weighing you down.

You reach down to touch the back of your hand to his forehead, frowning when you feel that he’s starting to heat up already. “You feeling it already, Hao?” you ask him.

He doesn’t directly respond to your question, pulling back for a second and then shoving his nose even further into your gland. His comment is stifled a bit from your skin, but you can still make out the words. “I swear they put crack in your pheromones or something.”

Both you and Mingyu laugh at this. However, you abruptly stop when Minghao raises his head to look at you with tears in his eyes. “Why are you guys laughing at me?” he pouts.

You’re quick to calm him down, extending a hand to brush away a stray tear. “Oh honey. We’re sorry. Preheat emotions suck don’t they?” He sniffles but still nods at you. 

After he takes a minute to compose himself, you speak again. “Why don’t you ask Mingyu to bring you back to your nest, hm?”

All of a sudden, the omega looks panicked, glancing back at the man sitting at the foot of the bed. You’re not sure what you did wrong, but Mingyu speaks, cutting off your train of thought. “I think Hao wants to ask you something first.”

Minghao looks up at you sheepishly, toying with the sleeve of your shirt absentmindedly. After a long pause, he looks up at you from under his eyelashes and says, “will you help with my heat?”

The question renders you speechless for a moment. You’ve been told Minghao is a bit…picky about who he spends his heat with. You know he and Mingyu have been heat partners for years now, and barely anyone else helps now that they have a system down. Only when Mingyu starts to get exhausted does Jun take over. Most of the time, he doesn’t let anyone other than the two alphas and Jeonghan get near his nest in the throes of heat. 

A part of you is silently cheering. Minghao’s instincts are finally accepting you as a true pack member if he trusts you in his most vulnerable moments. But another part of you is terrified. You really can’t mess this up. 

He must pick up on your apprehension through your scent, because in seconds, he’s throwing himself off you and into Mingyu’s lap. The alpha looks up at you apologetically as Minghao sobs into his shoulder. “She hasn’t even said anything yet, give her a second,” he tells the omega.

The scene is enough to convince you to say yes. You let your scent even out for a minute before reaching out to brush your hand lightly over Minghao’s ankle. Once his sobs die down a bit, you say, “I’ll help you Hao. I’ll be there as long as you need me.”

His scent takes such an abrupt turn it almost burns. You may need to apply some scent neutralizing lotion beneath your nose if this is how strong it’s going to be the whole time. You don’t have enough time to think about that though, because he’s grabbing your arm and pulling you out of bed, with a soft mutter of “nest.”

He drags you to his room, Mingyu trailing not far behind you both. Once inside, he points to his bed and repeats “nest.” You follow the omega’s instructions and climb into the center of the nest. Then, he turns to Mingyu and tells him the same thing. After both of you are comfortably sat in the nest, he fusses over the sides, effectively tucking you in. 

Once he’s satisfied with his work, Minghao crawls into the empty space between you two. A soft keen leaves his mouth and Mingyu chuckles. “Nest is complete now?” he asks. The omega is too busy releasing happy pheromones to respond. 

The comfort of his nest, combined with the exhaustion of preheat must finally take ahold of him. Fifteen minutes later, he’s sleeping soundly, his face tucked into your shoulder. Mingyu’s arms are tucked around his waist, and the alpha peeks over him to look at you. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, y/n,” he whispers.

You offer him a small smile back, trying to not disturb the sleeping omega beneath you. “I know. I want to though,” you tell him. 

You wake up in the early hours of the morning, the sun barely peeking through the window. While you aren’t really a morning person, a heat-ridden Minghao clearly is. His heat has come in full force over the course of the night, if the way he’s rutting against your thigh is any sign. 

When you look up at him, his eyes are squeezed shut and there’s a sheen of sweat covering his face. And the smell. God the smell. His usual lily scent is heavy, almost sticky in the air. It has a fruiter tinge to it though, something you can’t quite place.

A low moan startles you out of your thoughts. Minghao’s eyes have fluttered open and his mouth hangs open, panting. Without a word, you jut your leg out even farther, giving him a bigger surface to grind on. 

It clearly helps, because his eyes roll to the back of his head again as his hips move faster. Then, without warning, he leans down and shoves his face into your scent gland. Immediately, he starts sucking at it, leaving you breathless. The more his pace increases on your leg, the harder he sucks. His teeth scrape at your sensitive gland and you release a sharp gasp.

The commotion must wake Mingyu, because he shuffles around on the other side of the bed. He glances over at you two and runs a finger down Minghao’s spine. With that morning voice you love so much, he tells him, “easy on her Myungho. She’s not used to you yet.”

His words and actions have the omega shivering and pulling back. Your gland pulses uncomfortably at the lack of attention. You ignore it though, electing to reach around and pull lightly at the hair on the back of his neck. He whines. “Yeah?” you ask him teasingly. 

Mingyu chuckles from across the bed. You took that one out of his book. He leans down and whispers into Minghao’s ear. “You gonna come for our beta?” 

The omega nods furiously and he takes it as a sign to continue. “Yeah? Feel good spreading your slick all over her thigh? Tell her how good she’s making you feel.”

You can feel the wet patch slowly spreading across your pants. Something deep inside you twists at this, making you itch for your own release. It twists even further when he slurs, “so good. Making me feel so good beta.” 

You tug a little more on the strands of hair tucked in your hand and it’s the last straw for Minghao. His orgasm comes washing over him and he buries his face in your neck once more. The wetness on your leg increases exponentially and he makes a mess of it as his grinding begins to slow down. 

You flinch a little bit when he murmurs into your gland, the vibrations tickling your sensitive skin. “I’m gross now,” he says.

Mingyu wraps his arms around the omega’s waist, kissing the back of his head where your hand just untangled from his hair. “Mm a little bit. Nothing a bath can’t fix right?” he asks. 

A contented sigh leaves the man in your arms. You give him a little peck of your own, right on his forehead. “Let’s get you cleaned up honey,” you mumble, prompting him to sit up. 

Once he’s successfully out of bed, Mingyu leads him to the bathroom, leaving you to change and collect some supplies for the day ahead of you. After a quick pit stop at your room, you head to the kitchen. As you refill some water bottles, you feel hands rest lightly on your waist and a nose tickle the back of your neck. “Hannie,” you acknowledge.

His nose presses even deeper into your skin. “You smell like Minghao,” he mumbles softly. “Is he in heat already?”

“Mhm,” you hum as he spins you around in his arms. Almost dropping the now full water bottle in your hands, you scowl at him a bit. “Don’t make me drop my omega’s water.”

He looks at you questioningly. “Your omega, huh?” He waits for you to respond, but all you do is nod. “You gonna take care of your omega’s heat for me? Make me a happy pack omega hm?” 

He’s such a little shit. But you’re too preoccupied with the fact that you just called Minghao your omega to even remotely care. That’s something to unpack later. Instead you screw the lid back on the bottle and grab the snacks you’ve prepared. “Yes Hannie,” you utter, and dart out of his arms, back to Minghao’s room.

Jeonghan watches you go and a familiar chuckle rings in his ears. When he turns, Seungcheol is standing there, clearly amused with the conversation that was just had. Jeonghan rolls his eyes at him. “You,” he says, pressing his index finger into the alpha’s chest, “are where she gets the possessiveness from.” 

They think they’re being sneaky, but you can still hear them from down the hall. And looking back at your past experiences with Seunghceol, you come to realize that he probably is where your possessive streak is coming from. And the fact that you’ve spent the last few hours with an omega in heat, but that’s not important. 

When you return to the room, the pair is curled up in the nest. Minghao seems slightly relieved. Less desperate and eager to simply relax. Mingyu is snoozing next to him. You deposit your supplies on the nightstand and crawl in to join them. 

Minghao immediately curls himself into your side. “Was thinking about you my entire bath,” he whispers, thumb stroking the skin that’s visible where your shirt had ridden up. You raise your hand to test his temperature again. When it makes contact with his forehead, he twists to lightly kiss the gland on your wrist. “Wanna make you feel good,” he breathes out.

The statement kind of surprises you. “Aren’t you supposed to be the one being taken care of right now?” you ask him, eyebrow quirked. 

“Letting me eat your pussy is taking care of me.” You nearly gape at him when he says this. Such dirty words and for Xu Minghao of all people to say them? You might combust right here and now. 

And combust you do, because minutes later, he’s got his face shoved between your legs and is eating you like his last meal. Your moans have awakened Mingyu, who, at first, elected to watch. But after a little whining from the omega, he’s mounted Minghao from behind. 

You’re embarrassingly close within the first few minutes. There’s so much going on. The sound of skin against skin. Mingyu’s breathy groans. Minghao’s tongue teasing you softly. The feeling of his hair in your hand. All three of your scents blending beautifully in the air. But the kicker is when Mingyu gives a particularly hard thrust, causing Minghao to lightly scrape his teeth along your clit. 

Your nerves feel like they are on fire. Your eyes roll back as your thighs tighten around the omega’s head, who whimpers in response. He grabs your hand and strokes it softly, coaxing you down from your high. When you finally come to, Mingyu is singing his praises to Minghao. “...a good omega, making our beta come like that. I think you deserve a reward for that. How about a knot, hm?”

The mere mention of a knot seems like it kicks Minghao into overdrive. “Please, please, please alpha! Wanna knot so bad!” He pushes his hips back furiously, like it’s going to make MIngyu’s knot pop any faster. It doesn’t, but it at least satisfies him for a moment. 

In the meantime, you reach over to grab a towel from the nightstand, bringing it down to wipe off his face. He whines, something about losing your scent, but still mumbles out a, “thank you.” 

Mingyu picks up his pace, a clear sign that he’s going to knot soon. The second his base swells enough to catch on Minghao’s opening, the omega is keening. He reaches out to grab onto your thigh, then sinks his teeth right into the soft skin. You gasp, not prepared for the sudden bite. His orgasm washes over him hard and it seems Mingyu’s does too. 

After a minute of heavy breathing, he releases his jaws and lets go of your thigh, looking up at you sheepishly. Mingyu, who still has his head thrown back, his chest heaving up and down, mutters, “sorry, I should’ve warned you that he’s a biter.”

“It’s okay,” you respond. “It felt good, it just surprised me that’s all.” You reach down to pet Minghao’s hair a bit more, giving him a little bit more comfort. 

“...’m full,” is all the omega can manage to get out. 

The alpha reaches down to run a hand along his back. “Yeah, alpha made you nice and full. Let’s get you into a more comfortable position, okay?” he coos at him.

You shift closer to the outside of the bed so that he can pull himself and the omega down into a seated position next to you. Mingyu leans against the headboard, pulling Minghao down so his back presses against his chest. The omega whines a bit at the shifting, knot tugging uncomfortably at his entrance the more they move. 

You give them both their own water bottles and offer a snack. Mingyu takes the protein bar quickly, but it takes a little coaxing (and hand feeding) to get Minghao to eat anything. 

After a few minutes of blissful silence, the omega murmurs, “you feel bigger today Gyu. I don’t think your knot has gone down at all yet.” 

The alpha grunts in response and shifts uncomfortably, making Minghao squirm. “Yeah well I’m tied to an omega in heat and I’ve got a really hot beta sitting naked in bed next to me. Can’t help it if I’m a little excited.” 

You can’t help but preen a little bit at his statement. You. The hot beta is you. But you’re quickly distracted by Minghao, who moans when Mingyu shifts again. The alpha peers down and sees that Minghao’s cock is getting hard again. “We’re still tied together baby,” he tells him. “I can’t do anything for you right now, but maybe if you ask your beta nicely, she’ll ride you while I’m still inside you.”  The omega’s eyes roll to the back of his head at the lewd thought and he moans loudly. “Please beta?” he asks, opening his eyes again just to flash the most pitiful look ever at you. It’s going to be a long few days for you three.

[adrienneleclerc]

Matching Costumes

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x Latina! Reader

Summary: when they attend Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party accidentally matching each other but being complete strangers

Warning: Spelling and grammatical errors, inaccuracy because of the hurricane and i never been to a Mickey Halloween party

A/N: Logan goes to Disney World with Oscar

Y/N was doing her makeup, putting the finishing touches to her Emily costume.

"Valeria, are you absolutely positive this costume looks good?" Y/N asked.

"Yes, oh my gosh, chill the fuck out. Anyone with half a brain cell can tell you're Emily from Corpse Bride. Even if they haven't seen the movie, they'd be like 'oh, you're the corpse bride', its that good. Now lets go, the party starts at 7 but i really want to go on the rides." Valeria said, she was dressed as Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice

"Going 2 weeks before Halloween feels ridiculous." Y/N said.

"I wanted to go at Halloween but we're having a Halloween party with all los tios y primos. Are you going to make those Jack Skellington conchas you saw on TikTok?" Valeria asked.

"I mean hopefully i can make them, I have a friend that works at a Mexican bakery so hopefully she can help me make them. Mami, ya nos vamos a la fiesta, nos regresamos a medianoche!" Y/N called out before leaving the house.

Meanwhile, Logan and Oscar were in the car on their way to Disney World.

"You could have at least put on makeup." Logan said and Oscar rolled his eyes.

"Be lucky i put on the green color hairspray." Oscar commented.

"You can't even tell if you're supposed to be Betelgeuse or the Joker." Logan said, as he was dressed as Victor from Corpse Bride.

"Do you see the suit? I am obviously Betelgeuse. I just don't understand why we are going to a Halloween party if it's not Halloween yet. And at Disney World, are you serious?" Oscar asked.

"Maybe if you weren't in Brazil for the Grand Prix for Halloween, we'd actually get to spend Halloween together, but you're going to Brazil." Logan said. "Besides, you never been to Disney World, and as a Florid native and your best friend, I can't let that happen."

"You are absolutely ridiculous." Oscar said, shaking his head. Logan entered the Disney World parking lot after showing proof of tickets, once the car is parked, both men got out and readjusted their suits.

"Also, chief, the makeup was more so people don't recognize you in Disney." Logan said, as he pulled out the kit he used for himself, asking if Oscar reconsidered, he ultimately nodded and Logan fixed him up. "Now we are completely in costume, lets head inside."

"Please, I really want to show Lily everything, she's been dying to come here." Oscar said.

"Then just go to the Paris one." Logan said.

Y/N and Valeria got out of the car and started walking to the entrance of the park.

"The wig didn't move, right?" Valeria asked,

"Nope, you're good, and mine is fine, right?" Y/N asked.

"You're good. Let's go in, I am so excited." Valeria said. As they were walking and having a conversation, Y/N tripped, causing her to bump into the guy in the Victor costume.

"Oh my gosh, i am so sorry." Y/N said.

"No worries, are you okay?" Logan asked. "I like your Emily costume, did you make it yourself?"

"Oh, yes i did." Y/N said, looking down and dusting off her dress. "I tried to keep it as accurate to the movie as possible. And you're Victor, what a coincidence."

"Yeah, my name is Logan." Logan introduced himself.

"I'm Y/N, and Lydia over here is my bestie, Valeria." Y/N said, looping her arm with Valeria's.

"This is my friend Oscar." Logan introduced him and Oscar did the awkward smile and wave.

"That is a great Betelgeuse costume. Most people don't fully commit but i like that you did." Y/N complimented and Logan gave Oscar a shit-eating grin and Oscar rolled his eyes.

"You should join us! 4 is better than 2." Logan said.

"Sounds fun! A little Tim Burton group costume, love it." Y/N commented.

"It almost looks planned. Oscar, we need to go on some of the rides, they have changes because its Halloween." Logan said.

"Yeah, we need to hit the teacups." Valeria said.

"Sure, lets go, we have pver 2 hours to kill before the actual party." Oscar said.

"You're going to love it, i swear!" Y/N exclaimed before the 4 of thejm walked to get to some rides before the event started.

They saw the parade, met Jack and Sally, did some trick or treating, saw the Sanderson Sisters performance, overall enjoyed the Mickey Halloween party.

"It was awesome meeting you guys, we should hang out outside of costume tomorrow." Y/N said. Oscar looked hesitant but Logan spoke up.

"Yes, we should. Oscar is from out of town and he doesn't mingle much." Logan said,

"His accent made that very clear." Y/N said giggling.

"How about just you and Logan hang out." Valeria offered.

"If Logan doesn't mind, I am all for it." Y/N said. Logan made the first move and added his phone number to Y/N's cell, which was already unlocked. "Forward, I like it. It was nice meeting you Logan, you two Oscar, hope you're enjoying Florida, have a goodnight." The girls walked away.

"You are really going to go out with a girl you just met?" Oscar asked.

"A relationship has to start from somewhere, chief." LOgan answered and Oscar rolled his eyes.

"You're so annoyingly American." Oscar grumbled before they made their way to exit the park.

When Y/N got home, she texted Logan.

Hey Logan! It's Y/N, we should meet at The Monroe at 12pm.

It took a few minutes for Logan to respond.

Hi! Yes, the Monroe sounds great, see you then

Y/N clutched her phone to her chest and squealed because she actually set up a date with a really cute guy.

The next day, Logan was waiting outside The Monroe, fidgeting with his shirt, he hasn't felt this nervous in a while. He then saw a women his age walking towards the Monroe.

"Logan?" she asked.

"Yep, thats me. You look differet without the makeup." Logan commented.

"Yeah, Halloween things, you ready for our first date?" Y/N asked.

"This is a date?" Logan asked.

"Only if you want it to be." Y/N said.

"I definitely want it to be." Logan said and Y/N giggled at his eagerness.

"Then let's go in." Y/N said and Logan opened the door for her, placing his hand on her lower back to guide her. Going to Disney World that night was the best decision he's ever made.

The End

I hope y'all liked it! It feels good to write for our American boy again