#I can drive 20 minutes from my house and put up four rabbits in one hour for fun

[wyrddogs]

tell us about kermit's field championship

So to earn a Field Championship (FC) with AKC, the dog needs 35 points and a first place. Only the dogs in the first four places earn points, and the number of points depends on the entry.

For example, if 12 dogs are entered in the Open Dogs class, the first place dog earns 12 points. The second place dog earns 6 points (12/2). Third place earns 4 points (12/3), and fourth place earns 3 points (12/4).

The dogs are run in pairs called braces, and the draw order is random. The dogs are judged on their ability to follow a line (where the rabbit ran), how well they work with another dog, and how well they return to their handler when called. They are, in theory, dinged if they interfere with the other dog. They are also, in theory, dinged if they don't come when called.

Open Dogs are run together, and Open Bitches, and then Field Champions. A group of people called the gallery (generally the handlers of the dogs waiting their turn to run) walk around and beat bushes until a rabbit is put up. Then the judges call the first brace and the dogs are brought to the line and released to be judged.

Once every brace in the class has had a chance to run (called the "first series"), the top four dogs are called back for second series. They are already ranked from first to fourth, and they are run against each other in pairs to see if the ranking changes. A dog can either defend their current position, defeat another dog and move up, or be defeated and move down. When Kermit earned his first place, he fought his way up from fourth place to first place.

If no rabbits are found, the judges have the option to cast (also called free casting). This means that the brace is released and the dogs are judged on how well they search for game. It's pretty controversial in the field trial world. There are some clubs who will cancel a trial rather than cast. California clubs like to drastically overhunt their grounds without looking for new places to host, so Kermit has been cast at least once in every single trial he's been to. (This is also why a lot of clubs from other states look down on California field trials.)

Kermit is excellent at casting, since I take him out a lot and have him locate and flush his own rabbits. This is what he does every single week. So on the one hand, my dog performs well doing a thing that he has a lot of practice at, but on the other hand he is casting in an area with zero game and he is indicating to me (the handler who knows his body language) that there is zero game, and he is not being judged on his ability to trail an actual line. So it's not a "real" field trial.

So yeah, I have slightly mixed feelings about the title because he didn't earn it in a setting that the die-hards would consider legitimate. But I also know that he can perform in an actual, real-world, hunting setting, and that is more important to me than the artificial conditions of even a "real" field trial. He is proven on game in the way that matters to me, I just wanted the title to have "proof", so I could put the important letters in front of his name.

Also I did work really hard at preparing him, and he earned his field championship in just four weekends and was third place or higher each time. And it was on game he's not used to-- cottontails have a different scent and running pattern than the jackrabbits Kermit is more familiar with. So that is actually something to be very pleased about.

Thank you for asking!

[queenshelby]

A New Life

Part Four: A Day at the Zoo

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 2,790

Warning: Fluff, Self-Esteem Issues, Body Image Issues

The following morning, Cillian picked you and Max up from your house at 8 o’clock after having borrowed a car seat from Cian.

‘Thank you for taking us to the Zoo, Cillian’ Max said excitedly as Cillian helped him into his seat.

‘That’s alright buddy’ Cillian said and you couldn’t help but be a little bit excited. Whilst you never liked going to the Zoo, you liked the fact that you and Max got to spend the day with Cillian.

He had a fantastic sense of humour and Max really seemed to like him which put you at ease quite significantly.

After Max and you sat down in the car, Cillian opened two of the windows slightly and told you that he had put some sickie bags and wet wipes into the glove box for Max just in case you needed them. Another thing he remembered was that Max often got car sick and he certainly didn’t seem to be bothered by it. In fact, he was quite well prepared.

To your surprise, Max did well in the car and was fascinated with some of the gadgets, including the TV screens in the back.

‘Made it without Max getting sick. That’s new. Thank you for taking it easy around the corners’ you said, causing Cillian to laugh.

‘You are welcome’ Cillian said before helping Max out of the car and picking up his plush bunny toy which had fallen to the floor.

‘That’s one well loved rabbit’ Cillian observed as he looked at the rather old and half destroyed fluffy toy and you explained to him that Max had this bunny since he’s been a baby. In fact, Cian had bought it for him when you were still pregnant with Max.

***

After twenty minutes, two cinnamon donuts and a take away coffee, you finally arrived at the tiger enclosure.

‘I can’t see, I can’t see’ Max said somewhat disappointed as the tiger was roaming around from the left to the right and he was simply too small to look over the larger children in front of him.

‘Sweetie, you are too heavy for me to pick up’ you said as Max pulled on your t-shirt and began to pout.

‘I can put him up on my shoulders if you want’ Cillian suggested, ensuring that you would be okay with it before saying anything to Max.

Of course, you had no objections and Max was quick to climb onto Cillian’s shoulders so that he could see the tiger, still walking from the left to the right and roaming around his enclosure.

‘Max, careful!’ you said worryingly as he was clinging onto Cillian’s hair but Cillian didn’t seem to mind.

Taking you by the hand for a brief second to pull through the crowds, Cillian moved over to the left slightly to give Max a better view and you followed him while watching Max smile with excitement.

‘Have you counted how many stripes he’s got?’ Cillian then asked your son.

‘Too many for me to count Cillian’ Max laughed before Cillian told him about the tiger, reading from the sign in front of him and asking Max questions in order to keep him engaged.

You were truly surprised how well Cillian and Max were getting on and how patient and engaging Cillian was with him.

‘Elephants next?’ Cillian asked as, eventually, the tiger went into his little cave for a rest and Max nodded.

Without Max getting down from Cillian’s shoulders, you both walked towards the Elephant enclosure.

‘Can you tell me what sounds an elephant makes?’ Cillian asked and, when Max and Cillian both pretended to be elephants, you couldn’t help but laugh.

The entire day was a blast and, for the first time in a long while, you and Max both felt comfortable being around someone new. It felt like you both had known Cillian for a long time and you were quite impressed by his character.

‘What a lovely family’ you then heard all of a sudden as one elderly women in the crowd walked past you and, whilst Cillian wanted to correct her, you simply said ‘thanks’ and laughed.

***

After your day at the zoo, Max fell asleep in the car fairly quickly and whilst you were keen to take up Cillian’s offer to have dinner in town, you didn’t think that Max would be up for it. He had a big day.

‘I am not sure if Max is up for dinner in town. He’s tuckered out completely’ you said, looking back towards him.

‘I figured that he would be tired after all this walking around’ Cillian chuckled ‘But, if you want to, I can cook something at your house instead and we can watch a movie with Max’ Cillian offered.

‘You can cook?’ you asked since no man had ever cooked for you before.

‘You seem surprised’ Cillian observed, causing you to laugh and nod before accepting his offer.

‘I suppose spaghetti would be winner, right?’ Cillian then asked and you nodded again before asking a question which you have been pondering on about for the entire day.

‘You are so good with Max. How come you never had children?’ you asked before telling Cillian that he didn’t have to answer this question if he didn’t want to.

‘My ex-wife never wanted children and I had to accept that I suppose’ Cillian explained.

‘How long were you married for?’ you then asked.

‘Ten years. But we were together for fifteen. I had one relationship after that, but it was a disaster’ Cillian chuckled and you talked about his marriage and why it ended before Cillian carefully and quietly asked about Max’s father.

You told Cillian that he had died in a car accident when Max was only two years old and that Max didn’t remember much about him.

‘We had our differences but were determined to make it work for Max. We were high school sweethearts and met when we were 16’ you explained, thinking back to all the irrational choices you made in the past.

***

An hour later, you arrived at your apartment following a small detour to the local supermarket.

‘Cillian is making us spaghetti’ you said to Max while you helped unpack the grocery bags.

‘It’s my favourite. Can I have lots of cheese please?’ Max then asked and, of course, you nodded before telling him to play in his room while you were going to help with the food.

Cillian pre-prepared the food for later with your help before you all sat down together and watched a cartoon movie which almost sent Cillian to sleep. His eyes kept shutting closed as he leaned against the large cushion on the L-shaped lounge and you had to give him a nudge now and then to make him stay awake.

Luckily, Max lost interest in the movie after thirty minutes and asked Cillian whether he wanted to see his dinosaur collection.

Sure enough, Cillian was very interested in dinosaurs and, after they managed to give each of the toys a name, you played two games of UNO before serving dinner.

‘This is much better than mum’s spaghetti’ Max observed, causing you to pout and Cillian to apologise.

‘It is pretty good’ you observed before thanking Cillian for cooking and taking you both to the zoo.

‘We had a fantastic day, didn’t we Max?’ you said and Max nodded and yawned at the same time.

***

‘I probably should drive home soon’ Cillian said after you cleaned up the dishes and Max had changed himself into his pyjamas.

‘Do you want to stay for a wine and watch a more interesting movie after I put Max to bed?’ you then quickly asked, hoping that you wouldn’t sound too desperate.

‘I suppose I could leave the car here and pick it up tomorrow’ Cillian then said, not intending to drink and drive and you nodded in agreement.

Cillian’s house was only 20 minutes by foot from your apartment and he could easily call a taxi or sleep on your lounge if he didn’t want to walk.

‘Can Cillian read me a bedtime story then?’ Max asked, clearly having overheard your conversation.

‘If that’s alright with your mum, I sure can’ Cillian offered which prompted Max to quickly find a book and his favourite bunny toy.

Listening to Cillian read a bedtime story to Max made your heart melt once again. Not only did you think that Cillian was an incredibly kind person who was good with children, but also was he rather attractive.

Quite to your surprise, you adored the small wrinkles around his eyes and the few grey hairs on his head as his hair was growing out on the sides.

Then, of course, there were those deep blue eyes and razor-sharp cheek bones and you wondered what your mind was doing to you, feeling some sort of attraction towards a man who was clearly much older than you.

***

‘Thank you for reading to him’ you said when Cillian came back into the living and you tugged Max into bed and gave him a goodnight kiss.

‘That’s perfectly fine Y/N’ Cillian assured you before sitting down while you poured two glasses of red wine.

‘So what are we watching?’ he asked and you suggested to put something on which has him in it after Cian told you that one of Cillian’s shows was on Netflix.

You had only just signed up to Netflix when you came to Ireland as, frankly, working on TV made you less interested in watching it during your spare time but, now that you were taking some time off after having resigned as a host from one of Australia’s design shows after your ex’s constant publicly stunts, this has changed.

You hadn’t seen any of Cillian’s work yet and you certainly didn’t know much about him. Unlike he did with you, you haven’t resorted to Google yet to find out more, wanting to paint your own picture about him and not being influenced by media.

‘Absolutely not. I hate watching myself’ Cillian chuckled before suggesting a different movie on Netflix. His comment made you laugh.

‘I get that. I hate watching myself too’ you chuckled and, after he turned on the movie, it didn’t take you long to get comfortable together on your small sofa and you quite enjoyed sitting so closely next to him.

As you were sitting next to him, you couldn’t help but notice the scent of his aftershave which was musky but yet fresh and sporty. Glancing over towards him without him noticing, you quickly got mesmerised with his freckled skin and you couldn’t help your eyes from wandering further down, observing his neck and the small area of exposed skin above the neckline of his t-shirt.

Clearly, he had a little bit of chest hair. Or was it a lot? You were curious as you thought that, the way it extended above the neckline of his t-shirt looked quite sexy.

Your fixation on Cillian’s skin and scent, however, soon came to an end when you received a text message from one of your closest friends in Australia.

In her text message, she linked an article from an Australian tabloid and, whilst you knew that you should probably ignore it, you couldn’t help but click on the link.

When you opened the link you couldn’t believe your eyes. Clearly, your ex-partner had shared your last holiday pictures to a water theme park in Australia’s Northern Territory and they were far from flattering.

Cillian immediately noticed that something was wrong and paused the movie before asking you whether you were alright as tears had built up in your eyes.

‘My ex is making my life miserable’ you huffed out before telling Cillian about the unflattering pictures and comments from the tabloids.

According to the online magazine you should have chosen your outfit better to hide your scars and the publisher criticised that you were hosting a design show while, according to him, you obviously didn’t care much about your own appearances.

‘Can I see?’ Cillian asked and, whilst you were almost ashamed to show him, you did, knowing that it was on the world wide web anyway.

You saw Cillian’s eyebrows rise as he read through the article before, suddenly, he started laughing.

‘What an eejit’ he chuckled and you looked at him somewhat confused.

‘Irish for idiot’ Cillian clarified before carrying on. ‘Look, these people obviously have nothing better to do than to criticise humans for being human. You wore a bikini on a water slide. Seems logical to me. I mean what else would you wear when you visit a water park in a country where it’s so fucking hot?’ Cillian said, handing you back your phone.

‘That’s not the point Cillian. My ex knows how self-conscious I am. He continuously used to put me down and, ever since my emergency c-section when I had Max, I have been trying very hard to hide my body. Obviously, I was right to do so. I mean look at this shit now’ you said rather upset.

‘Y/N, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You are a very attractive woman and any man out there would be lucky to have you. Despite, from what I just saw, there is nothing wrong with your body. You are stunning. You’ve got a few scars, so what?’ Cillian said reassuringly while taking your hands into his.

‘And a little baby weight I never managed to get rid of’ you chuckled and, whilst you knew it wasn’t really a big deal, you felt as though, being in the public eye required you to look perfect at all times.

‘You are perfect Y/N. You really cannot let this stuff get to you and you should tell your friend not to bother sending these things to you either’ Cillian said, knowing very well what reading bad press feels like.

‘So, you actually don’t care when you read something bad about yourself?’ you asked, not realising how much press Cillian had to deal with in comparison to you.

‘I gave up caring about twenty years ago’ Cillian chuckled. ‘You should too. It feels better that way’ he then said and you couldn’t agree more. You knew you had to care less but, the truth was, you had realised that this life wasn’t for you.

‘That’s why I gave up TV and advertising. I just want to concentrate on writing and the other things I’ve been working on’ you explained before changing the topic to something more pleasant which was your upcoming theatre date and trip to Kerry.

When you mentioned your upcoming trip to Kerry, Cillian told you that Cian invited him and Laura as well and you couldn’t help but laugh.

‘So, Laura…do you like her?’ you asked.

‘She is nice I guess. But, I honestly am not interested in a relationship or dating right now’ Cillian told you before advising you that he would have to head home soon. He had an early start.

***

By the time Cillian had left it was already 9 o ‘clock and you decided to have a bath and then head into bed as well.

For a minute or two, you pondered on about the article that had been published in Australia but, then, you remembered Cillian’s words. You had to ignore them.

Instead of dwelling on about them, you felt as though you wanted to know a little more about Cillian. Until this point, you had refused to google him but you realised that you didn’t even know his surname nor did you know how old he was and you certainly didn’t want to sound weird, asking him or Cian those things.

You tried your luck putting the words ‘Cillian’, ‘Actor’ and ‘Irish’ into the search tab as, surely, there couldn’t be too many actors with his name out there.

To your surprise, his name and pictures of him popped up immediately. You didn’t have to do much investigation and you were quite shocked to see his extensive filmography.

Even more so, you were surprised by the fact that he had just recently turned 45.

‘How the fuck can this man be 45 already?’ you asked yourself silently and couldn’t help yourself flicking through the many pictures.

Going through them one by one, you realised again how handsome he was and whilst you were certainly attracted to him, the fact that he was rather famous turned you off and made it much easier for you to turn off your attraction towards him. At least so you thought.

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[powdermelonkeg]

Missing Links: A New Hyrule

This story has a prequel called Secrets in the Breeze! Go check it out!

My Missing Links

Wind took a deep breath, savoring the scent of the breeze as blew by. It had been awhile since he'd smelled salt in the air.

It was good to be back near the ocean.

One by one, the other heroes came through the portal, which shut behind them with a blue flash. Hyrule looked at Wind curiously. "Do...you recognize this place?"

"Nope!" Wind spun around with a bright smile. "But we’re near the sea! That’s always a good sign!”

“I beg to differ,” Legend muttered, taking note of his surroundings.

It wasn’t much. They stood atop a cliff that overlooked the sea-bordering countryside, with a sparse collection of villages tucked into the nooks of the nation. But what caught the pink-haired hero’s attention most was the network of golden roads that stretched across the land, leading towards a grand tower far inland.

In the shadow of the massive building stood a castle; one the young man immediately recognized, which threw the whole tower into proportion.

It was...big.

“So, here’s the plan.”

The redheaded man slapped a map against a tree, stabbing it through with his hairpin to keep it in place. He snapped his fingers, and the circuits of his prosthetic hand lit up in timeshift blue. “We came in here,” he said, drawing a glowing X over a place in the north of the Forest Realm. “The loser that stole my control slate ran off, and we got lost chasing him. So now we’re down here.” He circled Whittleton Village.

Fox watched the hero explain with wide eyes, fixated on his glowing fingertips.

“The guy could be anywhere,” he continued. “HOWEVER, if he knows how to calibrate it right, he probably has a map updated on the slate. And if he knows what the slate does, which he has to in order to pull a stunt like he did twice in a row, then he’d head for Hyrule Castle.” Taps drew an arrow towards the castle and tower in the distance. “We’ve already lost a day just getting out of Lost Woods. He’s probably way ahead of us if we travel on foot. But if we use one of the minecart guardians people drive around here...” He traced his finger along the minecart tracks that stretched across the land. “We can probably beat him there, as long as we catch one within the next couple hours.”

He spun to face his companion, clicking the drawing rune off. “Any questions?

Fox’s hand shot in the air. “Mr. Link? How does your arm work?”

Taps gave him a flat look. “Timeshift-powered output core.” He gave his prosthetic a solid pat. “Sheikah tech. Not what we were talking about. Any relevant questions?”

“...Well...” Fox rubbed the back of his head. “The...guardian things...they take passengers, right?” He looked at the hero with big eyes. “So, don’t they charge rupees?”

Taps paused. He hadn’t considered that. “...We can stow away.”

“Absolutely not.” The Hytopian put his hands on his hips sternly. “These people have lives to live outside of us. It’s wrong to steal labor from them.”

“They’re not GONNA have lives to live if this timeline gets screwed with by my slate!”

“Then we should get money fast, shouldn’t we?”

Taps’ eyes narrowed, and he crossed his arms. “I didn’t exactly bring my wallet with me when I got yanked through time and space. You plan on selling your extra clothes for it?”

Fox gasped in horror, hugging his bulky luggage. “Never!”

“Well then. Not that big a problem, is it?”

Fox bit his lip. “...Give me one hour,” he finally said. “If I can’t earn us enough rupees for a trip by then, then we can talk about stowing away.”

Taps rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He held up a metal finger. “You’ve got one hour.”

Legend walked along the strange track, examining the golden triangles beneath his feet as he followed the rails. The power in them tugged at his attention, no matter how hard he tried to look away.

What were they?

“Hey.” An elbow dug into his shoulder. “Hyrule to Link, are you there?”

Legend side-eyed the offender crossly. “No.”

“Well then,” Warriors replied, smirking. “I guess that means I get your share of lunch.”

“You touch my apple pie and you find out exactly what my medallions do.”

“Ouch. Touchy.” He followed Legend’s line of sight down to the ground. “Must be an interesting road.”

Legend nodded, looking back at the tracks. “They’re...powerful,” he said, gesturing to them. “They radiate magic, and they feel...Hylian. Like they’re alive.”

Twilight shuddered. “I certainly hope they’re not,” he said, giving Epona a pat. “The last thing I want to worry about is living roads.”

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The Chain jumped in unison at the loud sound, attention forcefully torn from the Spirit Tracks at their feet.

Off in the distance, blurred by a shimmer of heat, a steam-powered machine charged down the tracks at breakneck speed. With a frown, Twilight whipped out his Hawkeye mask to get a better look.

It was HUGE; it had to be at least as tall as three horses standing on top of each other. As it rounded the bend and headed towards them, he got a good look at its segments—a house, a tray, and a cannon?

Twilight squinted, adjusting the mask’s scope. “What in Farore’s name...”

“What is it?” Time asked, raising an eyebrow.

“...Some kind of mechanical caravan.” Twilight concluded after a moment of thought, lowering the mask. “And it’s not stopping. We should move.”

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 

“NOW.”

Quickly, the group got off the tracks, giving them a WIDE distance.

As the steam-powered beast approached, it let out a shrill, screeching noise, causing the heroes to clamp their hands over their ears in pain until it finally rolled to a stop with a pressurized hiss.

Time slowly lowered his hands, shaking off an involuntary shiver at the redead-esque noise. “Everyone alright?”

Hyrule groaned, rubbing his ears sorely. “I think I finally feel bad for DIgdogger...”

“We’re fine,” Four answered. “I’m going to have a headache for the next week and a half, though...”

“Tell me about it...what even WAS that?” Wind asked, scrunching up his eyes as he popped the pressure in his ears.

“‘Hoy!”

The seafarer suddenly snapped to attention at the familiar greeting.

“’Hoy!”

Link leaned out of the engine cab and waved to the band of...soldiers.

They had to be soldiers, right? They had swords and armor. Maybe there was a ceremony or something coming up.

One of the group, a young-looking boy in blue, waved back to him. “‘Hoy, stranger!”

“Everything alright?” Link called. “You look kind of...lost.”

The group looked between each other. “We kind of are,” another one said, a heavily-scarred one with a long ponytail. “Can you tell us where we are?”

“Just west of Whittleton. Where are you trying to go?”

“Hyrule Castle town,” the most heavily armored one replied. “Is it far from here?”

Link looked the group over critically. “...Not really. It’s a 20 minute ride by train. Can I ask who you guys are?”

“An orchestra!” The kid that had initially greeted him exclaimed.

“...An orchestra.”

“Yep!” He pulled out his baton. “See, I’m a conductor, and he’s got a harp, and he’s got an ocarina...”

“What are you playing, then?” Link said, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh-”

“Song of the Hero,” the friendly-looking one in the white cape supplied. “It’s a classic.”

“...Right.” Link held back a sigh, feeling like this was going to be trouble. He could just leave them...

...But this was Bulblin territory. He’d feel bad.

He could just tell the guard captain to be on the lookout once he got to Hyrule Castle. That’d keep them in line, right?

“...Do you guys want a lift?”

The train ride was such a change from walking everywhere. Granted, it had been difficult to convince Epona to climb into the passenger car with them, and Legend was sharing a VERY uncomfortable stare with a fluffle of rabbits gathered at his feet. But, for the vast majority of the heroes, it was a chance to rest their legs and watch the scenery fly by.

And it was incredible.

The only comparable thing Wind had seen in his travels was speeding around on Linebeck’s steamboat, and even that required him to be focused on not running into barrels and sandbars.

This, though? It was smooth. The train ran in a straight line, zooming by acres and acres of land without so much as a bump in the wrong direction, with endless ocean through one side of the car and towering mountains through the other. Thinking fast, he pulled out his pictobox and snapped a few shots as he went along.

When the train made its first stop, the screeching sound was notably more bearable through the barriers of the cabin walls. It still made Hyrule wince, but it was a far cry from the veritable scream they’d had to endure before.

As it finally came to a full stop, the engineer that’d picked them up peered into the cabin. “Nobody get up yet, we’re not here. I’m just picking up some more passengers.”

Time raised an eyebrow. “You do this kind of thing often?”

The stranger gave him a deadpan look. “Nope. Never in my life.” Without another word of explanation, he shut the door.

Time stared after him, taken aback.

Had he just....been sassed?

A moment later, the back door of the cabin opened, and two new passengers entered.

“I told you I could pay fare!”

“Yeah, yeah. Still think we could have saved money.”

They sat in the back seat, bickering quietly and, to Legend’s relief, attracting the fluffle away from him. As the train resumed its travel down the road, he found himself listening in to their conversation.

“-plan once we get there?”

“We start looking. Duh.”

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?”

“Look, if someone uses it, we’ll know. It’s not exactly an easy thing to- ...hide.”

Curious at what had made the newcomer trail off, Legend looked back at them over his shoulder.

The redhead—the one who had ended the conversation—was staring at Wild in shock.

The pink-haired one, on the other hand, Legend recognized instantly. His head spun; the Chain had only just gotten the means to time travel themselves, how had the Hytopian guy with the friendship tokens-?!

Feeling Legend’s gaze on him, Fox looked up, unnerved, then froze in shock as he came to the same conclusion Legend did.

I know you. You shouldn’t BE here.

Suddenly, the train heaved, throwing everyone out of their seats. The once-smooth ride came to an abrupt halt as the train derailed, skidding across the raw ground with a terrifying SCREECH before grinding to a halt and tilting precariously. Twilight and Wild both scrambled to grab Epona and brace her as the car finally tipped, landing on its side with a crash.

Silence hung in the air for one brief, panic-laced second.

Then, in an instant, the redheaded stranger shoved his companion out the back door and vaulted over the cabin seats, barreling into Wild and leaping for the front door. As Wild was abruptly yanked out of his daze, he spotted the Sheikah Slate in the thief’s hand before the redhead made his escape.

Fox stared at Taps as he ran outside. “What are you doing?!”

“Shut up, I’m focusing!” Taps said, frantically clicking through the slate. “Where is it, this layout is atrocious-”

“Did you just steal the-”

“He had my control slate!”

“They had SWORDS!”

“So do we!” Taps stopped on a screen, and sighed in relief. “Finally!” With a blue flash, he summoned his Divine Beast, wasting no time in clambering on board. “Come on, get on!”

“But my clothes-”

“HEY!”

The two time travelers looked over as Wild emerged from the train car to shame mankind, eyes blazing with fury as he raced towards them.

Fox squeaked in alarm, quickly leaping onto the Divine Beast and clinging to Taps. “Drive, DRIVE!”

Wild did his best to give chase as the duo sped off, but his mortal Hylian legs couldn’t keep up with the ingenuity of Sheikah technology. Before his very eyes, two complete strangers fled into the distance with his Divine Beast.

Link picked himself up off the ground, clutching his ribs in pain as he raced back towards his toppled train.

He had so many people on board, he had a horse back there. If any of them were hurt—

Without a moment’s thought for himself, he threw the cabin door open. “Is everyone okay?!”

Everyone jolted, reaching for their weapons in panic, when suddenly, there was a yelp of pain from the back seat.

Sky clutched his stung hand as he dropped the Master Sword, staring at the engineer in shock.

“You’re...one of us.”

[fckyeahdaisukekambe]

[ROUGH ENG TRANS] FUGOU KEIJI NOVEL: THE MILLIONAIRE DETECTIVE’S DECOY (Part 1)

Yay! I did an initial rough translation. I am still learning Japanese so please don’t expect 100% word-by-word perfect translation. This is just based on the level of my understanding of Japanese so please bear with me~ *thanks to my dad’s (credit card) i got a copy*

"Now, gentlemen. There is only 3 months remaining before the 7-year prescription of the 500 million yen robbery case."

Fukuyama, the stout-looking captain of the special investigation headquarters, looked around at the 20 detectives with an expression that’s similar to Alfred Hitchcock. "A total of 200,000 investigators were put in, 150,000 suspects were questioned, and all prepared investigation materials are in one data room."

"All of that was not wasted because we were able to narrow down the suspects to four." Detective Kojima who has been an investigator since the time of the incident, turned his eyes to Fukuyama as if to challenge him, He has just arrived at the station after his previous captain recently retired.

"No, Nothing is wasted."

Ignoring Fukuyama, Kojima showed his sharp teeth and gazed at everyone. "I found the special paint used which is our strongest clue was sold to only 56 people from a specialty store.

"It's beige, right?" From the side, Detective Nunobiki who's missing a front tooth and looks like Alfred E. Newman interrupted. "Of the eighteen people who bought the beige paints, three are women. Then the fifteen people. Out of the fifteen, there are elderly." Nunobiki said. "Two are more than 60 year old. Then the thirteen. Out of those, three doesn't drive a motorcycle so down to ten."

"Wait a minute. Is it really okay to exclude those three from our suspects?" rushly asked by Captain Fukuyama. "Even if you don't have a motorcycle and have no license, you can practice going somewhere secretly."

Kojima overtly glared at stared at Fukuyama with a blank expression. "Of course there's a possibility not to included those three people. Of those three, two are elementary students". Nunobiki said. "The other one only has one leg." "I'm a man who can't ride a motorcycle," said Kojima. "Then on the ten, three of them have solid proof that they were not in the scene."

Captain Fukuyama asked shyly this time, "Is there no possibility that the alibi of those three people will collapse?"

"One was in the police station at the time of the incident because he vandalized a wall of a university building about capitalism using the paint he bought, the other one died days before the incident. In other words, he's in heaven at the day of the incident." Kojima replies politely with a serious look.

"The last one is attending a meeting at the Prefectural Police Department, which is a chief. He claims that he bought the paint for the rabbit hutch in his garden. Would you like to check on it again?"

Fukuyama coughed, "No need, that would have been true."

"The seven remains." exclaimed Kojima.

"It was clear that three of them haven’t got the chance to use the paint they bought. Of course I checked and confirmed it to them. Immediately after buying the paint, one of them fell down at the front of the store, the lid was opened and the paint splashed on the road. There was a lot of fuss but many people in the shopping district confirmed this. The other two left their paint on their garden and storage room."

"Then the four," Nunobiki screamed from the side for attention.

"Mother Goose has a song called Ten Little Indians." Detective Saruwatari whispered to Daisuke, who's next to the door.

"What's wrong? Please speak in our language." after Kojima gazed at Saruwatari, Daisuke held his cigar in his mouth and hung one end of his lips to show his canines. "Kambe, stop smoking in this room."

"Ah, that was rude," Daisuke quickly extinguished the fire of his cigar, which was still only one or two centimeters of ash, and while covering it, he politely threw the cigar, which was broken into half on an aluminum ashtray.

"But Kojima-san, were you also smoking?" said Saruwatari with a grin.

"It's good if it is only a paper roll, but it's a cigar." said Kojima. "How can I talk about work when someone's smoking a 8,500 yen Havana cigar?"

"I think there is discrimination," Saruwatari defended Daisuke while still smiling. "Because Kambe only smokes cigars".

Nunobiki is smiling from the side is staring at Saruwatari, "Hey, You're a detective. Don't side with the millionaire too much."

"Haha. You're right. That's the son of a rich man, Kambe Kikuemon." Captain Fukuyama leaned towards Daisuke then rounded his eyes. "I only heard from the chief."

"Enough talking," Kojima shouted, "There are four remaining."

"Four people, four people," Nunobiki raised his four fingers and nodded to everyone. "All four of them had no alibi on the day of the incident, had a motorcycle, were in their late 20's, and are in the montage photos, however, I'm still not sure if they have already used the paint. They are now being followed just to make sure and to get information. We haven't investigated their houses yet."

"But we only have three months left," Capt. Fukuyama said to Kojima with a slightly frightened tone. "Isn't it better to start investigating those four people as witnesses before the prescription period ends then conduct a house investigation?"

"We will." Kojima said, lowering his voice.

"I'm thinking of the case where the criminal didn't hid the money in his house. Once they were looked up as witnesses, they would always think that they are being followed." "I think it's fine to look into them so that they can be alert."

"Whether or not the three months time is imminent depends on how you think." Fukuyama murmured with a stern look, Kojima bowed lightly. "Of course if Captain instructed to call them as witnesses, I wouldn't push my opinion thoroughly."

Saruwatari, who was the farthest away from Kojima and Fukuyama, shouted loudly, "If you notice that you are being investigated as a suspect, the criminal may act like he's digging his own grave, like trying to change the hiding place of the money."

Kojima bowed his shoulders and turned to Saruwatari, "Yes, there are criminals like that but in this case, do you think a smart guy who thought of this crime would do such a stupid thing?"

"So I wonder if they will continue to follow them until the time limit is almost over," Fukuyama seemed to be annoyed and started drawing infinity symbols with his finger on the desk. "Isn't there anything else we can do but just keep tailing on them?"

"Well, it should be done in parallel to tailing them. They should sense that we are actually investigating them."

"Uhm," Daisuke raised his hand at the seat closest to the door. "I have a suggestion".

Fukuyama nodded with a sullen look, "Please tell us."

"If the criminal will start spending the money, they should know where it is hidden so I think it's good to let the four of them spend money."

Fukuyama made his eyes round again. "How?"

[berniesrevolution]

In Dilley, Texas, there is only one grocery store, and that grocery store is Lowes. (It is not a Lowes, like the home improvement center. It is a totally different and legally distinct store that also happens to be called Lowes.) Lowes is a place of many mysteries. I once went there to buy vegetable broth for a sick coworker, and combed the soup aisle for nearly 20 minutes before being forced to admit that no, Lowes does not carry vegetable broth. The closest thing they had was a can of something called “vegetable beef.” Lowes does, however, carry bacon-flavored pancake syrup, quite a lot of animal pheromones in spray cans (including such choice selections as “raccoon urine” and “sow in heat,” which I assume are for agricultural rather than cosmetic purposes), and a large selection of devotional candles in glass cylinders.

I had never paid much attention to the candles, but a friend of mine was in town, volunteering at the child internment camp where I work as an immigration lawyer, and he wanted to bring back a candle for some eclectic ofrenda-type situation he had set up in his D.C. apartment. He is a meticulous and thoughtful sort of person, and took a long time debating between various candidates. I had come to Lowes primarily to buy Cheez-Its, and was getting impatient. I picked up a candle at random. “How about this one?” I said.

The candle had a picture of a Little Lord Fauntleroy-type in a plumed hat and a white ruff, with a pink seashell pinned to his cloak. I glanced at the label on the back. Glorioso Santo Niño de Atocha, it said, patrón de las que están injustamente en prisión, protector de viajeros y que das la mano al que se encuentra en peligro…

I didn’t know anything about this saint at all, despite having grown up Catholic, so I looked him up on my phone. I soon discovered that he was not really a saint, per se, but a special Limited Edition version of baby Jesus. Wikpedia offered up the following backstory:

In the 13th century, Spain was under Muslim rule. The town of Atocha, now part of Madrid’s Arganzuela district, was lost to the Muslims, and many Christians there were taken prisoners as spoils of war. The Christian prisoners were not fed by the jailers, but by family members who brought them food. According to pious legend, the caliph ordered that only children under the age of 12 were permitted to bring food. Conditions became increasingly difficult for those men without small children. … Reports soon began among the people of Atocha that an unknown child under the age of twelve and dressed in pilgrim’s clothing, had begun to bring food to childless prisoners at night. The women of the town returned to Our Lady of Atocha to thank the Virgin for her intercession, and noticed that the shoes worn by the Infant Jesus were tattered and dusty. They replaced the shoes of the Infant Jesus, but these became worn again. The people of Atocha took this as a sign that it was the Infant Jesus who went out every night to help those in need.

This all got me rather excited, because I am very fond of medieval history, and regularly drive around rural Texas blasting 13th-century Spanish pilgrimage music. Who would’ve thought that a little vestige of the medieval world would turn up in my local grocery store? Secondly, what better patron for someone who works at a jail for child refugees than a child-saint who defends both travelers in peril and the unjustly imprisoned?

And that was how I first ended up buying a Holy Infant of Atocha candle for my kitchen table.

Later, when I researched the matter further, I found out that the Wikipedian history of the Holy Infant was—shockingly—likely incorrect. The medieval origin story was a post hoc invention, an attempt to give an older European pedigree to a wholly Mexican tradition. The Holy Infant’s mother, as it turns out, was an authentically medieval character: Holy Mary of Atocha appears in several of the 13th century Cantigas de Santa Maria (a.k.a. the sick beats currently blaring from my Kia Forte), mostly as a patroness of field workers. When her shrine at Atocha was selected for special favor by the Spanish monarchy in the 17th century, she was transformed from a saint of the people into an emblem of Spanish governance. It was in this capacity—as a defender of Spanish colonial might—that Mary of Atocha found her way to Mexico. Sanctuaries in her name were built in the state of Zacatecas, in Fresnillo and Plateros.

But through some obscure evolution of local devotion, it was the image of her child, the Holy Infant, that became the primary locus of worship. The Holy Infant of Atocha eventually came to be revered as a protector of ordinary people, especially of miners, travelers, and prisoners. An 1848 novena written by one Calixto Aguirre was instrumental in popularizing the cult of the Holy Infant, and the cover illustration of the printed pamphlet version was the first to show him as a pilgrim rather than a prince. Instead of a crown, a globe, and a scepter—the traditional iconography of power—he had a big hat, a food basket, and a traveler’s staff with a gourd hanging from it. The first episode of the novena tells of a legal miracle.  It begins with the tale of a poor woman by the name of Maximiana Esparza, who wanders to four different cities, seeking succor. In each city, she is imprisoned for her malas costumbres—some unspecified bad manners—and, having no family or other advocate to speak on her behalf, she languishes for years in prison in each place. At last, after being in prison a year in Durango, she prays to the Holy Infant of Atocha:

…who listened to her kindly and took her out of her captivity; for in all the time that she had lived there, there was nobody who would defend her, until the Holy Child of Atocha, dressed as a handsome youth, visited her in that prison and gave her some bread in the name of his mother, saying to her that same afternoon she would see the judge and he would take up her case, which caused no little amazement among the rector and the other inmates; and when the time arrived that the Child had named, she was set free.

Mary of Atocha, the former people’s saint, may regrettably have become more conservative in her waning years, but she nonetheless succeeded in giving the world an even more radical son. We should all be so lucky!

It’s actually pretty absurd that I knew nothing about the Holy Infant of Atocha until a few months ago. Once he was on my radar, I soon realized that he’s a pretty standard figure in Mexican and Chicanx Catholicism. But I stumbled into immigration advocacy three years ago knowing next to nothing about Latin American cultures, and even now there are huge gaps in my understanding. My Spanish, too, is still pretty atrocious. I have been working at it for three years, but it’s like speaking through a mouthful of broken glass. I muster my words with pain, and my meaning comes out all mangled. I now feel a strong affinity for all those immigrant grandparents who understand English perfectly and never learn to speak it; I am sure I would be just the same if I were ever to immigrate to a non-English-speaking country. I often feel that any bilingual person, with or without a law degree, could do most of my work a lot better than me. But I am here, so I do my best.

Sometimes I wake up in the mornings very anxious, usually when I have to draft a big court filing or an important request to the asylum office, to try and stop a detained family’s deportation. I come up with soothing little rituals to ease my transition from fretful sleep to focused work. I put on some music. I make a big pot of coffee. I light my Holy Infant of Atocha candle. It’s really because I like the way the candlelight makes me feel, not for superstitious reasons. I’m really not one for good luck charms, astrology, or premonitions. I remember that shortly after Trump first announced the family separation policy this summer—this was when I was still in Massachusetts, getting ready for my move to Texas—I was walking down a familiar street near my home, feeling very disturbed and heartsick. All of a sudden I saw a rabbit on the sidewalk a few feet ahead. It was standing quite still, and it let me walk up close. For a moment the encounter felt almost magical. Then the rabbit loped off, and where it had been, I saw two small baby bunnies lying dead on the pavement. When I bent to look, a little cloud of flies dispersed, then settled again. As omens go, that was some Roman-level bullshit. But I don’t think it was anything but coincidence.

The area of south Texas where I live now is teeming with strange sights, and sometimes everything I see feels pregnant with meaning. The drive from my apartment to the internment camp is only four minutes, but the road is always strewn with strange corpses. A dead dog or house cat is an everyday casualty; but I have also seen bodies of armadillos, bobcats, and javelinas, all mowed down by a speeding truck, or a passenger-bus of incoming detainees, or one of the heavy tankers that barrel continually to and from the nearby oilfields. No waste collection service ever disposes of the animals, so I watch their corpses bloat and distend and then disintegrate over a period of weeks. I have heard a rumor too that there are zebra on one of the ranches around here, flown in and kept in captivity so that deer-weary hunters can have something exotic to shoot. I’ve yet to see an escaped zebra lying dead by the side of the road, but give it time.

Also on the same road as the child internment camp, if you can believe it, there is a Texas state prison. It lies alongside a large ranch, and in front of the jail there’s a field of watermelons. Sometimes in the early morning, on my way into work, I see a group of prisoners in white jumpsuits and white caps, working the watermelon field. Ringed around them are three or four heavily-armed officers on horseback, in case anyone tries anything. The thing is so ludicrous it’s hard to know whether to laugh or cry. It’s as if this tiny town has been selected as a kind of roadside showcase of human cruelty.

(Continue Reading)

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2019, Part VI

Yes, I know that it’s almost March. Thanks for taking the ride. GREAT MOVIES

22. Apollo 11 (Todd Douglas Miller)- To disrespect this movie is to disrespect the moon landing itself so... I do like listening to the Walter Cronkite snippets about "the burdens and dreams of all mankind" and smirking at the idiots who talk about "back when people just read the news without editorializing." 21. Waves (Trey Edward Shults)- I could have done with five fewer shots of people holding each other, and the foreshadowing could be more subtle, but, man, Shults takes some huge swings here, for a more powerful effect than either of his previous films had. It isn't often that a colorist gets a single card in the opening credits, but it makes sense for a film that stands out as much as this loud, woozy piece does. I don't think there's anything as present-tense this year as a character drunk-driving to Kanye West's "I Am a God." 20. Jojo Rabbit (Taika Waititi)- The dissenters of Jojo Rabbit have been pretty uniform in their negativity, and I think their stance has to do with not wanting to be told what to think or feel. (Putting "an anti-hate satire" on the poster has to fire up those haters.) This movie is not subtle or ambiguous, but you know what? Casablanca is a pretty didactic movie too. Let me back up from the C-word. For me, the film's emotional scenes are better than its comedic scenes, but in either form, Waititi directly engages with a ten-year-old in a way that neither romanticizes him nor condescends to him. That's such an imperfect, transformative age in a boy, and not enough movies are willing to wrestle with how ugly it can be. Roman Griffin Davis is pretty good, but he's spotted by sincere, compassionate performances by Thomasin McKenzie and Scarlett Johansson. It's possible that Johansson has never been better. I totally understand why someone with her sex symbol baggage would resist playing mothers; if I've done my homework, this is the first time she has done it, even though she's a parent in real life. But her maternal scenes here are heartbreaking in their patience, particularly in a scene for which her character "plays" herself and her absent husband. Besides uncorking a more vulnerable part of herself, Johansson nails the performative aspect of being a parent, resisting the urge to make everything a lesson but wanting so desperately to be a positive example for a kid who needs one. 19. Honeyland (Ljubomir Stefanov and Tamara Kotevska)- I greatly prefer the term "non-professional actor" or "first-time actor" to "non-actor" because it's only human nature to act differently when being filmed. The second even a camera filming a birthday party captures you, you start to perform. But in handmade stone houses in rural Macedonia, the subjects are true non-actors. They have no affect because, in all likelihood, they have not seen a movie before. So the way that Hatidze lived over the course of the three years of this project--with purpose, focus, and wisdom--seemed new to me. Honeyland is the gift that I always hope for from documentary and (especially) foreign documentary: a slice of life that I never knew I needed. 18. Under the Silver Lake (David Robert Mitchell)- Andrew Garfield's Sam spends a lot of time on his balcony surveying his apartment complex, staring at a topless woman in a way that recalls Marlowe in The Long Goodbye, one reference point among hundreds. Sometimes he watches through binoculars, sometimes he watches through blinds--blind imagery that shows up over and over again in a movie about voyeurism. Anyway, this neighbor keeps parrots, who we're told as kids can "talk." Not that the animals have any conscious intention with their mimicking, but they replicate what they hear or are taught. The words are signified without any signifiers, so it's hard to even classify the noises as speech. Maybe those noises are everything--a tie to our species that reveals impressive intelligence--but maybe they're nothing--a silly hope of a world that seems less alone. And that subjective interpretation of code is the clearest metaphor in an otherwise elliptical, bizarre, sprawling, sui generis film. It's messy alright. Some of the threads lead nowhere, but in a movie about order and chaos, that's obviously the point. The scene with The Songwriter--barely any of the characters have names--is over ten minutes and might not have any narrative consequence. But in the moment it's earth-shattering and urgent. And maybe I'm the obvious audience, but I'm not going to complain about anyone taking a dance break for "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?" 17. 1917 (Sam Mendes)- Weirdly enough, a Lauryn Hill line kept bouncing around in my head as I was nervously tapping my foot: "It could all be so simple, / But you had to make it hard." This is a direct story told with impossible technical aptitude. 1917 isn't saying anything new, but have you ever seen a plane crash ten feet away from the camera forty-five minutes into an unbroken take? No offense, but do you remember when we were all impressed that Creed had a five-minute fight in one take? Blimey. 16. American Factory (Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert)- It's a rare documentary that makes its case so gracefully and so forcefully at the same time. The film ends so conclusively that it could be considered labor activism, but it's so fair that the union-busting schmucks are willing to joke around with the filmmakers without obfuscating at all. The obvious forebearer for this sort of boots-on-the-ground snapshot of American labor is Harlan County U.S.A., but American Factory is more staid and less concerned with setting because, you know, this could be anywhere.The Chairman is the best villain since Thanos, and as he looked back on his life while walking around his empty cabana, I had to squint a bit to make sure he wasn't purple.

15. Ad Astra (James Gray)- Ad Astra declares so that it can suggest. The opening crawl says that the near future is a "time of hope and conflict," but all we see is the conflict: the pirates on a borderless moon that we've ruined with Applebee'ses, the neglected wife leaving her ring on a table, the voiceover that declares, "I always wanted to be an astronaut...for all mankind and all." This film will take place in four parts--Earth, Moon, Mars, Neptune--and each part will offer unique obstacles to challenge our phlegmatic but confused hero. But all of that table-setting allows James Gray to explore. There's a scene in which the Roy character uses a belt to pull himself, one tug at a time, deeper into the unknown, and we see the action through the reflection in his helmet as we're watching his face. We're seeing through his eyes but at a remove, and in this moment we're watching him heave himself into emptiness, thinking that the more distant and lonely and absent he gets, the more of a man he becomes. We know that's not true, but we kind of think it is from the movies, and Ad Astra has a happy ending if only because it wants to disprove that notion. Lots of artistes talk about how they could, without compromise, make grand, big-budget entertainments if they only wanted to. James Gray did. 14. Ash Is Purest White (Jia Zhangke)- In a train on the way to her hometown, the protagonist Xiao casually tells a fellow passenger that she has seen a UFO. Although it comes up later in a sort of magic realism flourish, her statement seemed like a character moment for me. People who see UFOs are either guileless rubes or attention-seeking hucksters, and that's the dance of Tao Zhao's performance. Even after seeing the movie, I can't tell which one Xiao is. Often it changes in the course of a scene. The time when she shows the most agency, firing off her boyfriend's illegal gun to ward off his attackers, results in the time when she is the most helpless, being ordered around in jail. She might confess her ex-con status in a moment of vulnerability, then flake out at the next train stop in an attempt to seize her power back. (It's worth mentioning that there are lots of movies about flaky drifters who don't pay the tab, but few of them are about women.) Even the way that she holds her backpack--frontways--is street-smart and child-like at the same time. This is the second film that Jia has made with a triptych setting, (Mountains May Depart is slightly superior.) and he doesn't make the flash forwards obvious. He invites the performance's same sort of healthy confusion upon the viewer with the formal elements. I, for one, am willing to get probed by these foreign objects. 13. Toy Story 4 (Josh Cooley)- I questioned a late moment in the film, one of the plottier ones in which Woody goes back to save another toy one more laborious time. When I sighed, my wife reminded me, "He never leaves a toy behind." Toy Story 4 is a dazzling upgrade in the series from a visual standpoint, (I gasped again at Woody lying in a damp, sunny patch of concrete.) but it's more of a reminder of the consistent character development and weight that have been blanketing us for twenty-three years. Pixar isn't reinventing the wheel because it is the wheel. Sure, the characters are too numerous and separate now. I miss the OG's Rex and Hamm. But for one thing, that rogue's gallery makes it funnier when, say, Buttercup pops up with a joke out of nowhere. And the new characters, particularly Forky the Nihilist, are so lovable that I wouldn't know who to trade. Toy Story 4 is probably the worst of the franchise, but that franchise--especially when its subtext seems to be questioning people who want to stop intellectual property from evolving--might be the best we have. 12. Clemency (Chinonye Chukwu)- In discussing the aftermath of an execution, Alfre Woodard's warden character Bernadine mentions the mother who will claim a prisoner's body, who will follow through with plans for burial. And I realized, to be honest, that I had never thought about how executed bodies are claimed and laid to rest, though obviously those sad practicalities persist. This whole film is a reminder of the numerous costs that arise from a system that is out of time and out of reason. To that end, every character is fully drawn with empathy. For example, the assistant warden, which could have been a nothing part, has ambitions and fears that give him an arc that shades the protagonist. The Richard Schiff and Wendell Pierce characters make the film about the compromised promises of retirement, but the assistant warden is there to tug us back into law enforcement. Neon ended up putting this movie on the awards circuit back burner, but Aldis Hodge deserves the world. Although the film piles on one indignity too many for my taste, drifting into miserableism, Hodge's performance has a rare possessive quality. Catatonic in his most crestfallen moments and antic when he clings to hope, Hodge drags the audience along with him. The character is quiet, but every word counts. 11. The Farewell (Lulu Wang)- I was not been more thoroughly charmed all year, especially by Awkwafina, who is a revelation in a tricky role. There are a few scenes that get comedic effect through repetition, and it's telling that the subtitles stop by the third or fourth run-through of a line. The movie assumes you're smart, which goes even further than its piercing emotion. Shout-out to Mr. Li, who made me crack up every time I saw him. The elderly sort-of-boyfriend is such a common figure in real life, but I'm not sure I've ever seen that character type on screen. I'm not sure I've seen any of this on-screen, and that's the reason the film exists.

10. Avengers: End Game (Joe Russo and Anthony Russo)- For a guy who grew up in the '30s, Captain America is pretty cool with gay people. 9. Gloria (Sebastian Lelio)- I saw Lelio's original Gloria, the one that he's remaking here, and it didn't do much for me, even though it hit some of the same beats as this one. I wonder what the difference could be...do you think the total commitment of one of the greatest actresses in the world matters? Lelio documents who this woman is to her children, to her mother, to her ex-husband, to her lover, to her co-workers, and it's by tracking the tiny compromises of those relationships that the viewer gets to see the fully realized her. The cyclical editing of those pieces--sing a disco song to herself in the car, rinse, repeat--ends up lulling the viewer into his role of seeing the complete Gloria. It ends up being a fun, absorbing process. I yelled out loud at Turturro for disrespecting my girl. Moore, who is in every scene, sells us on these different versions of the character through complete control of her instrument. She lets headphones slump along her body at work. She kneels down toward a street performer in a more maternal way than she ever presents with her actual daughter. She sits cross-legged with her best friend, as if they're little girls. I won't spoil what she does at the end, when she is at her most empowered. 8. Midsommar (Ari Aster)- I love this movie, but, boy, is it a friendship killer if you recommend it to the wrong person. Whether you liked Hereditary or not is a good predictor for your taste, but I think Ari Aster's follow-up is much better: Whereas the unpredictability of Hereditary makes the mysticism of its final fourth seem like a leap that you either accept or don't, Midsommar is driving so hard in one direction that its dread is even more pronounced. (The prologue is so masterfully deliberate and gloomy that it takes a long time for the film to get back to those depths.) For comparison's sake again, Aster was painting in the colors of hysteria and fractured relationships before, but the new film seems much more biting and vital in the way it depicts modern men and women. I'm thinking of the way Dani excuses herself at the risk of compromising her safety or rationalizes her boyfriend's forgetting her birthday with "Well, I didn't remind him." All of the characters become victims of a misinformed, selfish brand of multicultural tolerance that makes them rationalize evil instead of speaking up, and that acceptance serves the plot way better than the average horror movie's running up the stairs instead of out the door. For his part, Christian, who seems sympathetic at first, takes ideas, drugs, and even women for himself with impunity. (It's important that he's an anthropology student, and it's more important that his name is Christian.) When he colonizes his Black friend's thesis topic, it might seem like a tipping point, but he was one step ahead in using rules and approval for his purposes. None of the Americans bother to stop him, but that doesn't mean that no one stops him. 7. A Hidden Life (Terrence Malick)- "The sun shines on good and evil the same." In the baggy second hour of what might be Terrence Malick's most direct and linear film, martyr Franz Jagerstatter tosses off that line with grace and aplomb, at a time when most of us would have neither to spare. His captors are confused when he denies that his conscientious objection will make any difference in the war or when he doubts that he is more morally evolved than his countrymen. His refusal to pledge an oath to Hitler is a state with no outcome in mind, which the results-obsessed Nazis cannot understand. In that way he is the perfect Malickian hero, which means he is the perfect Heideggerian hero: a man who sees all planes of existence as equal--or at least equally unknowable to him. As a farmer, Franz observes and acts upon cycles, but he is smaller than Nature and the communion he finds with God there. So when he's torn from his family and daily life to be stuck in a prison, he is separated from that concord further and further. The key, however, is that he is no more or less powerful than before, and that knowledge is what gives him transcendental perspective. He is indifferent in the way that only a saint can be. Of course, what I'm describing also makes for a passive protagonist, which is why the cross-cutting to his wife Fani is so effective. She is the one who has to shoulder the burden of his ideals, and Valerie Pachner's stolid performance sells that sacrifice. The overall balance comes from the jagged but precise editing, and the production is all the more impressive for retaining the Malick style despite the absence of most of his regular collaborators. (This is the first time since The Thin Red Line that he hasn't worked with Jack Fisk, but there the production design is, crafting a 1940 Austrian town out of nothing and building a network of water symbolism that I don't understand yet.) In fact, the whirling steadicam and the avoidance of artificial light have more of a thematic purpose than ever if "the sun shines on good and evil all the same." Perhaps the greatest achievement of this film about unjust war is that it made me pray for Donald Trump today. Because if I want to be like Franz Jagerstatter, then I have to believe the light of God shines on him too. 6. Knives Out (Rian Johnson)- A third of the way into this imaginative, absorbing whodunit, I started to talk myself into the surface pleasures of cinema. "So what if it doesn't have much to say; look at these stars going for it with this spicy dialogue and these gleeful twists." Then the subtext asserts itself through a radiant Ana de Armas, and the subtext becomes the text in the final shot. Knives Out is the best of all worlds. Rian Johnson might be the first filmmaker for whom a Star Wars movie ends up being a footnote. 5. Everybody Knows (Asghar Farhadi)- There's a photograph hanging in the library (yes, the stately library) of the patrician family of my childhood best friend, and I'm in that picture. There I am, dressed a bit sloppier than everyone else, near the edge of the frame. Because I was there, as usual, and because they are kind. Everybody Knows is about one of those family friend outsiders, perhaps in a way that no other movie has been. When it's at its best, it's about what those marginal figures can and can't say, can and can't do. The film dips into soap opera territory, but only to sell its message of how secrets beget other secrets. For me, it's another Farhadi hit of approachable, modest conflict that bakes itself into an experience. 4. Marriage Story (Noah Baumbach)- The best divorce movie ever made--by the guy who wrote and directed the former belt holder of the best divorce movie ever made. These luminous lead performances aren't just about saying cutting, hurtful things or reacting to their child's preference for the other parent (or at least the other parent's toys). They're about the internal devastation of realizing you can never take back something you've said. Driver and Johansson each get a chance to sink into one of those moments, and they're joined by a head-tilting, blustery Laura Dern, who gets a Virgin Mary speech that won her an Oscar. And there are jokes! Underrated aspect of the movie: The son is kind of a dipshit. I like that he just hates math and wants to eat candy, as opposed to the cute prodigies we've seen before in this type of movie. They're fighting over a kid only a parent could love. INSTANT CLASSICS

3. Uncut Gems (Josh Safdie and Benny Safdie)- Howard the jeweler lives somewhere in upstate New York, but he has an apartment in the city. It's an apartment that is close enough for him to cab over to his mistress who lives there, but it's far enough away that his family wouldn't bother popping in for a visit. That sort of gap is present throughout Uncut Gems: Family members act differently in the Diamond District than they do at seder, and we first see Howard from the literally vulnerable inside of a colonoscopy, not the animated brio of his tightrope-walking exterior. Of course, the gem of the title is the ultimate division: something pure that the characters are searching for, untouched by the process that Howard, by definition, does. And the film is about how little he can abide by purity. Until now, The Gambler (1974) was probably the best film of this type, a snapshot of a cursed man who seems to be gambling with forces way beyond the game in question. But Uncut Gems is more pathological, more authentic, more intense, and more decisively realized. By focusing more on character than the Safdie Brothers' other work, it offers a unique depiction of compulsive behavior and implicates the audience in rooting for Howard's (technically unrealistic) parlay. By doubling down on his bets or re-uniting with his girlfriend, Howard thinks that he can reinvent himself and start anew. But like the legacy of the Chosen People the film depicts, like the lines on all of these great New York faces, some things are permanent.

2. The Irishman (Martin Scorsese)- "It's what it is." You wouldn't blame someone if he saw the logline and lineup of The Irishman and expected GoodFellas. In fact, this one quotes Scorsese's signature film continually. Instead of slicing onions with a razorblade, old convicts pitch bocce balls. Instead of tracking sumptuously through the Copa, Scorsese's camera wanders through a nursing home. Instead of pistol-whipping Karen's neighbor for getting handsy, our protagonist curb-stomps a grocery owner for shoving his daughter. But there's a GoodFellas staple that is missing. The first fourth of that crime saga closes as Young Henry, played by Christopher Serrone, gets rewarded for staying mum in court. All of his partners in crime cheer him, and he is told that he learned a valuable lesson (in protecting the family and subverting the law). Then we cut to Adult Henry, played by Ray Liotta now, because Young Henry has learned everything he has to know. The Irishman has no such moment of elevation or revelation. Frank is, crucially, played by Robert De Niro over the course of decades because his fall from grace--if there ever was grace--is too imperceptible for any before-and-after divide. The lessons that he learns are just as corrupting as what Henry discovers: Power comes from insularity. Having power means you don't have to prove it. Organized crime, organized labor, and the political process are all the same thing. A code is all a man has, but all codes have limits. However, Frank's corruption, the selling of his soul, doesn't even bring an Asian-inspired chiffonier or a Janice Rossi sidepiece. Frank doesn't get rich; he jams his hands into a plastic ice bucket at the bar next to his couch. He doesn't get powerful; he has to kill because Russell is too prominent to be in the same town as a hit. He doesn't get glory; even a celebration held in his honor is just an excuse for more influential men to do business. Frank is a tool, and he is trapped in a fruitless silence, at best an accessory at meetings. (De Niro is doing quoting of his own. There's a lot of Jackie Brown's Louis in his shrugs and smirks.) As boisterous as Scorsese's films can be, he also knows how to use silence. Robbie Robertson's score is weak, but luckily the film goes without for long stretches, including a suspenseful car ride that begins with a treacherous hug and ends with a malignant secret. The best performance comes from Joe Pesci, probably because his stolid stillness matches the overall atmosphere. Of course, the quietest moments correlate to the loneliest moments: Frank touring a cemetery or sitting with a door half-cracked to a complicit viewer. It's the silence of deliberate toil. Like the mobster ripping up carpet in the lake house, Scorsese is on his hands and knees destroying his own myths.

1. Parasite (Bong Joon-ho)- Parasite is Bong Joon-Ho's masterpiece because it distills the worldview and passions that he previously flirted with into a condensed but elaborate statement. In the same way that Mean Streets is perfectly good but feels like a rehearsal for the slow boil of encircling gangster life in GoodFellas. In the same way that Hitchcock played with the impotent everyman voyeur in a confined setting but didn't perfect it until Rear Window. Like the examples above, Parasite, a true ensemble, is a case of the subtext becoming text. Back in his native country and language, working more or less with realism, Bong is free to take aim at class in a more direct but still wacky way. In all of its crowd provocation--there's so much pleasure in just a suspenseful winding down stairs--the film is destined to be a foreign film gateway drug. But really it just makes we want to take a half-star off my Snowpiercer review since I know Bong can do better now.

[izyibel]

Melbourne daze

Spent a week in Melbourne living with J (S’s friend from secondary school).

Touched down Sunday morning and J picked us up in his grey 2006 jetta and brought us to some Sunday market somewhere. It was my first time meeting J and on the drive there I learnt:

1. He’s vegetarian

2. His car is dying and he’s worried about going on long drives (we still drove up and down mt Buller in it but I’m mentioning this because it’s important foreshadowing!!)

Anyways after the market we went to have lunch at a cafe and then went to his place where S took a nap while J and I bonded over our shared guilty pleasure. Lmao. Very amusing chats.

Then we went grocery shopping and got back to cook dinner and packed for the 3 day trip to Merrijig/ mt Buller.

Past midnight / early Monday morning J went to pick up his friend L from the airport and the four of us crammed all our stuff into his car and he drove us to Mansfield first to rent some snowboards and then up mt Buller where he taught us snowboarding. It was honestly very fun but wow so tiring!!! I am so unfit!

Then close to sunset we headed down the mountain and checked into our cozy Airbnb in Merrijig and we had pizza and wedges from the pub for dinner and played some board games.

Tuesday we didn’t snowboard coz of terrible weather so instead we went to try two different pie places for lunch and then spent the day playing different board games that J brought along. Fun times! I am so competitive!!!

Wednesday we checked out of the Airbnb in the morning and went up the mountain to snowboard again and the weather was awesome and I feel like I made so much progress in terms of my snowboarding skillz lmao.

Then we headed back down at the end of the day to return our gear. J drove the first half and I drove the next half back to his place. Oh and on the way back we stopped on the roadside just to look at the stars. The Milky Way was so clear and it was magical!!!! And there was this kind old man who stopped next to use to see if we were alright because he thought our car broke down.

Thursday J had some uni orientation thing but he was like “yea you can take the car” which is so nice of him. So S and I headed to the shops for brunch and to buy much needed toothpaste because we ran out. Then we headed back and watched some original season of terrace house with J’s friend L and then for dinner S and I took the car again and picked my brother and his girlfriend up to have dinner and then we headed back to their place. Wow they have a rabbit called Harvey who hops around and chews on everything. Played scrabble with my brother and his girlfriend. S won but there was too much tension in the room to really celebrate it ):

Anyways then on Friday J drove us to some famous croissant place for brunch I guess. It was quite nice. Then J and L’s friend M came over to J’s place coz we were all going roller blading and we went to this place to rent the blades and on their website they say $20 for an hour but they let us rent it for $20 for the whole day!! Like as long as we return it before they close. Anyways we went to skate along Princes pier and it wAs magical. Literally pastel skies and good weather and as the sunset we were just skating around and laughing on nice smooth terrain and oh omg J is a pro roller blader. Like literally Yuna Kim on concrete. Skating backwards was no issue for him and I asked him how long he’s been blading for and he said since he was 7!?!? Like wow. Anyways it was a magical evening. Honestly so beautiful I wanted to cry. Then we returned the blades and then headed home for dinner then we went to watch Spider-Man at the movies close to 11 at night.

Saturday, my brother and his girlfriend picked us up and we had pancakes for brunch. His girlfriend used to work at the pancake parlour so she knew what was up and how to get the best dealz. Had intense discussions over pancakes and then went for a walk in a park and played in the playground. The weather was awesome yet again. Blessed with clear skies and sunshine!! Then we had to head back coz J wanted to bring us to cape Schank and he told S and I that we should leave around 3ish from his place so my brother dropped us off oh and he offered to send us to the airport at 5am on Sunday morning which was so nice of him.

So J drove us to Cape Schank and at the start of the drive he was like “Isabel, can you drive us back later?” And I was like yea sure. This is an important tidbit of information (again, foreshadowing what is to come!!!) anyways cape Schank was gorgeous and we climbed the rocks by the sea side to get sick viewz. Thank goodness for low tide too. Pretty awesome watching the sunset there. I want to weep thinking about it tbh.

Then ok so we decided to head to a Japanese place for dinner since it was near this cheesecake/gelato/general dessert bar that J wanted to bring us to so I was driving and we’re some 15 minutes from Clayton and I stop behind a bunch of cars that were waiting at a red light then the light turned green and I literally could not go. Like the car literally could not move. And it was in the middle of the road but J was like oh it’s happened before and he thought maybe the battery died so anyways we put the hazard lights on and call his friend M to come help us and some kind people helped us push the car to the road side and then M came and we tried jump starting the car but it still wasn’t starting then this other kind person stopped by and was like “I work at a battery shop” and he helped us jump start it again but still the engine wasn’t starting and he called one of his colleagues to come and he came by in his van with a bunch of tools to help us and even went to get some more diesel in case it was a lack of fuel and the fuel gauge was just faulty but nope still not working so the dude was like yknow what just leave the car here and come back tomorrow instead of paying so much for towing. So we did that. I don’t know what more has unfolded in this Jetta saga because we flew off the next morning but anyways we left the car there and M drove us back to J’s place where J used his housemate’s car to take us to the Japanese place for dinner and we wolfed down our food coz we spent a good hour and a half in the cold by the road side trying to save a dead car. Anyways then J brought us to the dessert place and then drove us back and S and I scrambled to pack our stuff because we were tired and wanted to sleep but also had to wake up at 5am to make our flight.

Anyways this morning my brother picked us up and dropped us off at the airport. It’s like a 50 minute drive so grateful he offered to drive us!!!!

And yea S and I are back in Brisbane now.

What a week!

[tarpsybaby]

The Best Albums of 2020

What can I say about 2020 that hasn't already been said a hundred times before?  Yes, I have learned many things throughout the last 365 days, but one thing that I have always known, but have now emphatically proven this year is that - "Music (really) IS Life".  

When the world outside is as dark as it has ever been, I know that I can always put on my headphones to escape from the sheer madness of it all for a little while, and feel completely comfortable and peaceful within the walls of my own mind.  

Though your experience has been undeniably different, these are my life defining albums from the year that was 2020.  I hope that you are inclined enough to share YOUR favorites and your reasons for being so. 

Happy New Year, my MUSIC friends.  

31 - Lil Wayne  - Funeral

This was the first album that I had added to the "Best of" list back in very early January. Back before the everlovin' shit hit the fan in the world!   I loved the first half of the album so much that it was constantly on repeat, though it certainly isn't Wayne's best album.   The insanely fun and erratic tracks "Mahogany" and "Mama Mia" may very well be some of my all time favorite beats of the last decade.  Especially in a time where the greater majority of modern rap production sounds exactly the same, with little focus on the beats.  As the year continued on and I listened to hundreds of albums, Funeral didn't hold up quite as much as I would have thought.   With 24 tracks and a runtime of an hour and sixteen minutes, the album is one that goes on well after the juice has run out.  The first half is compiled so well though, that I still consider it one of the best, and I’d already written the review before I counted my “Best Of”. Hence the extra album review this year!  ;) 

30 - Lapsley - Through Water

This album was recommended to me from my boss when we were all first working from home in the height of the pandemic.  Immediately I knew it would have a home on one of my most favorite playlists that I have been building for the last decade.  The playlist is called my "H20 Mixologist" mix and if you've ever been with me at the beach, you already know that the only rules for this playlist are that it must be played by water.  Preferably a beautiful ocean, though a bathtub and a healthy dose of imagination will work just fine!  This album came out right around the time when we weren't afraid to stay inside quite as much and we were no longer opposed to going to our neighborhood pool as a break from our own four walls.  This album will forever remind me of the truest and most pure joys of sunshine, fresh air, and the freedom one feels when outside surrounded by nature.  

29 - Tame Impala - The Slow Rush

I have always loved me some Tame Impala, and this is certainly not Kevin Parker's best album to date... but even the most average material, is still some of the strongest of the year overall.   Still bringing the same consistent level of dreamlike alternative pop melodies that Tame Impala has been known for in the last decade, it is an album to easily get lost in... and that was beyond helpful this year. 

28 - Car Seat Headrest - Making A Door Less Open

I have been an excited fan of Car Seat Headrest since I first head "Teens of Style" back in 2015 after I had just moved to Florida.  As the years have gone on and more albums have been released, I love the band even more.  I've been saying for years that Will Toledo is the ‘Beck’ that I have always wanted the real Beck to be, but has never fully become. The single "Can't Cool Me Down" is singlehandedly one of the best tracks of the year, by far!  Led by the most basic bass riff that fully drives the song forward, its those little odd and eccentric instruments used for accent that really hit when you are listening through a really good pair of headphones!  In a year where the outros on songs have been more prevalent in any years that I've ever noticed before, this was the first mind bending outro to fully grab my attention. An absolute must listen and a significant album to add to the bands catalog!

27 - Fontaines DC - A Hero’s Death

This is the first of the albums on my list that had been suggested to me through one of my Twitter music friends, and there have been quite a few of these suggestions this year, which makes me incredibly happy - as that was the whole idea of the account!  There was a genuine buzz around the sophomore album from this Dublin band that I had started to notice online, and I was excited to see what all the fuss was all about.  Immediately I was drawn into the sullen voice of Grian Chatten after watching the video for “Televised Mind”.  “A Hero’s Death stands out significantly for me after listening to their first album, but I love the significant growth that happened in the year in between. This is a band that I am very curious to see how they continue to grow in future years. 

26 - Mac Miller - Circles

I was one of those people who discovered Mac Miller too late. Young Frankie got me into him, as he always had Mac playing throughout our house. One day, I simply decided to start at the very beginning of his discography.  I fell in love with his energy, his humor, & his blunt honesty about his battles with depression and addiction.  Listening to "Blue Slide Park" for the first time made me feel like I was in college again. It would have been my favorite album had it come out at that time in my life.  For some, it did & I envy you all for that.  With all my love for him, listening to Mac can be painful when you sit and listen in chronological order   You can hear actually him deteriorate over the years, much like Jim Morrison with The Doors albums in chronological order.  As honest and sincere as this final record is,  it is incredibly sad to listen to Mac on "Circles" when you know there will never be a follow up.  Sadly the album does serve as a beautiful bookend to a tragically short story. 

25 - The Strokes - The New Abnormal

I've been a huge fan of Julien Casablancas and everything he has done for years, especially his most recent work with The Voidz.  However, the thought of a new Stokes album brought about some nostalgia for younger years when they were at their peak.  From the first listen, everything about this  album sounds as catchy and familiar, just what we have always come to expect from The Stokes, but at the same time, new. You hear one lick from Hammond Jr's guitar and you know exactly who you are listening to.  Even with seven years off, they are still capable of producing some serious quality work and it makes for some of their best. 

24 - Phil Campbell & The Bastard Sons - We're the Bastards

This album was one of my accidental finds on Apple Music one day early in December when I thought all odds of discovering any new music before the end of the year was impossible.  Considering Campbell is the lead guitarist of Motorhead, I was expecting something a little different, perhaps a little harder? What I found was a solid family band rock album!  I love the idea that Phil has created a band with his three sons, on all instrumental duties.  The lead front man of Attack! Attack, Neil Starr, lends his vocals, and sounds a lot like a cross breed of Corey Taylor and Jacoby Shaddix that I actually find quite endearing, considering I am a fan of both of their bands respectively.  At a time where rock music seems to be something that you have to dig deep for, this was a fresh album to get very excited about.  

23 - Run The Jewels - RTJ4

Run The Jewels has been one of my favorite hip hip groups in recent years, as they have always created what I call "smart rap".  Smart rap has something to say ...it makes you listen,  but more so - it makes you THINK.  RTJ4 came out at EXACTLY when the world needed the album and words as an anthem.   Much more than just music, the lyrics in "Walking in the Snow" seemed prophetic at the time in the death of George Lloyd.  Looking back on it, the lyrics weren't prophetic at all.  Tragedies like George Floyd just happen FAR TO FUCKING OFTEN.  If you haven't listened to this album in its entirety, you need to... and you need to make sure you listen to every single syllable of every single word. 

22 - PVRIS - Use Me

Later on this list, you will hear me talk about the rash of female fronted bands that came out in the last few years that were never able to fully separate themselves from each other in my eyes.  PVRIS is one of the female fronted bands that I have always had an affinity for.  With that being said, this album was a complete change up of sounds than albums prior.  Much more dance-y and poppy than anything from their past, though it does work  well.   You will later see another band on this list who were able to steal the higher place, just for being more authentic and true to themselves.  Stay tuned! 

21 - Johan Johannsson - Last and First Men

I definitely experienced many moods during  quarantine and this album set off a rabbit hole in which I thoroughly enjoyed traveling through, as well as looking forward to continuing down.  I highly suggest everyone starts looking into Icelandic composers, especially Johann Johannsson.  His tragic story is just that, but his beautifully haunting music is still very much alive. Not only is "Last and First Men" an audiophiles dream from start to finish, learning that Johannsson scored one of my favorite movies of all times "Arrival", made complete and perfect sense.  Total mood music, and sometimes that mood just happens to be fucking apocalyptic.  Especially this year.  

20 - Pearl Jam - Gigaton

I'll just put this out there, Pearl Jam lost me as a fan for a great many years.  If I am being candid, and I always am - they lost me after Vs.  When the single "Dance of the Clairvoyant's" was released, I was blown away that somehow they were still putting out great music and I had to go back through the entire catalog to see what I had really been missing since Vitology, when I had officially  decided that I didn't like the softer route the band was taking.  Man, have I been wrong for far too long and am happy to admit it.  What an actual EPIC band! No real bullshit in their history, just a bunch of really good dudes making solid music for 30 years.  If you are like me at all, this is the album that you need to check out immediately.  Pearl Jam are back, even though they never really left!

19 - Yves Tumor  - Heaven To A Tortured Mind

This has to be one of the coolest, most trippy and adventurous albums of the year in my opinion.  This is yet another one, that came out at height of COVID and I loved it instantly the dark & twisted imagery that it can conjure up, while still being soulful and new.   "Gospel For A New Century" was the song and video that really gave this album some definitive visuals to work with, as Tumor wears some seriously creepy horns, reminding me of the devil in the Tom Cruise movie "Legend" from back in the 80's.  An absolutely intriguing album and one to revisit many times over, as there is nothing else like it being made today. 1

18 - Agoria - Lucky: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

I can't even remember how I found this little treat, but I did! I've tried to find the movie that its attached to many times, and have been quite unsuccessful so far.  With that being said, this is an insanely fun little electronic soundtrack. "Visit", "Satan", "All Over You", and "Police" are standout tracks from an album that brings electronic tribal percussion to your ears that is capable of making you dance in your seat.  After listening to this album repeatedly throughout the year, it makes me want to hire Agoria to score all of the most adventurous scenes of my life!

17 - Eminem - Music To Be Murdered By

Two surprise albums by Eminem in 2020, and that isn't always a good thing.  It doesn't matter who is reviewing anymore, everyone seems to hate Eminem now a days.  Not sure why, as he IS the lyrical genius he has always been... even if you still aren't in on the joke. Sure, he is just as offensive as always, but everyone has that friend that gets booed and yelled at for being the one to make a joke "too soon".  After listening to Eminem for the last 22 years  and being from metro Detroit, he has always been that friend to me,  even though he will never know it! The two surprise albums this year were significantly better than anything since MMLP2, and the lack of beats and production from Kamikaze and Revival are all but forgotten here .  We finally had some new slick beats, the kind that work very well with Em's style.  Deny it all you want, Marshall Mathers is still relevant today.  

16 - Kid Cudi - Man On The Moon 3

I knew that new music was coming from Cudi, but thought it was expected to be in the new year. However, I woke up on release day  in late December with a text message from Apple Music saying that it was here.  What?! I have always loved some Cudi, but this has been the year where he has played more of a soundtrack than ever before & had already made it into my all time favorites.  At first listen to MOTM3, I realized that it was going to need a few listens to really soak it all up, so I kept at it all day.  I read many critic and personal reviews and everyone seemed to be loving it,  but why wasn't I?  I kept at it, for days and days... and it worked.  I will say there is certainly more modern trap music than I like from my Cudi, but if he has to integrate it in his music, he does it well enough.  "Tequila Shots" is the stand out that has had the most airplay in our house, as it is the most quintessential Cudi sounding on the whole album.   The autobiographical "Elsie's Baby Boy" is another track that we've had on constant rotation.  All it takes is a Cudi hum, and I am sold. 

15 - HAIM - Women In Music Pt. III

As I slightly eluded to back in my PVRIS review, I have never been a huge fan of all female bands,  mainly as most came out at a time where there was a rash flooding of all female bands.  Obviously, I have nothing against this, as long as they all don't sound the same! HAIM hadn't caught me until this album, but wow.  The harmonies on "Darling" , Up From A Dream",  "Don't Wanna", and "Leaning On You" are so flawless that this band finally got the recognition from me that they deserve.  This album sets the band apart from the rest of the pack, as well as themselves!  Leaps above PVRIS, CVRCHES, Soccer Mommy, and the rest - this is the best female band fronted album for me in years. 

14 - Bassnectar  - The Lockdown Mixtapes Pt: 1 - Inside For The People

The better part of 2020 quarantine was spent in extreme close proximity with family while trying to hold down different non-negotiable responsibilities.   On my part, this usually included Air Pods in my ears any time I had to "be on" and work from home. Early on, it was impossible not to feel a little trapped and frankly pretty fucking sad. This album came out at precisely the right time of quarantine to bring you out of the funk, even if only temporary!  Listening to this for the first time, and hearing Biggie's voice come to life behind the beats was a smack in the face of 90's nostalgia that is was comforting... and something that I didn't even know I needed at the time.  The  use of the "American Beauty" dialogue in the outro was also oh so nice, and perfectly placed at the end. It  was unfortunate that the second Lockdown Mixtape came nowhere close to this first installment.  This is a must though, and it will always be an integral album to pull out whenever I am feeling a little claustrophobic. 

13 - Gorillaz - Song Machine, Season I: Strange Timez

One of my all time favorite bands for the last twenty years, even though they have missed the mark in the past.  This album brings back a lot of the sounds and creativity sparks that have been missing the last few albums. The moment you hear Robert Smith's voice start torture crooning about Strange Timez,  with a Damon Albarn echo, you know you're going to be in for a fun trip.  The Schoolboy Q featured "Pac Man" is without a doubt the most authentic Gorillaz song recorded in years.  This has also been the most cohesive complete album they have produced since Plastic Beach.  Paying attention to the recipe that made them one of the best, is a good way to move forward.  More of the same please, Damon. 

12 - Creeper - Sex , Death, & the Infinite Void

This album was recommended to me by a friend on Twitter & I was a little shocked on how much it reminded me of  some of the pop, punk, emo , alt rock bands that came out of the 2000's.  More specifically, My Chemical Romance, and I mean that in the best way.  I have often found myself loving some sort of incredible theatrics with my music and this album truly has more black eyeliner than I do.  Categorized as English Horror Punk, this sophomore effort by Creeper has rock opera written all over it.  The intro had me a little skeptical on first listen, but once you settle in with "Be My End" you start to have a feel of where you are going and it isn't as scary as a first impulse indicate!  

11 - Smith & Myers - Volume 1 & 2

One of my absolute favorite discoveries of 2020!  I have always been a fan of Shinedown & have some incredible memories of seeing them live at Rock on the Range years ago - so I was incredibly happy to discover this stripped down side project that only features vocalist Brent Smith and lead guitar Zach Myers performing acoustic covers.  Songs like "Unchained Melody" are done so perfectly, the sound like they were initially written for Smith's voice, which is a national treasure in itself! My absolute favorite cover off both volumes is "Valerie", most famously covered by Amy Winehouse, though originally written and performed by The Zutons.  i dare you to sing along to this cover and NOT smile.  The rest?  See for yourself. 1

10 - Marcus King - El Dorado

Early in the year, I saw a few friends had been listening to this album on Apple Music.  I had to check it out and immediately loved how different it was for a new country rock and blues album.  I was not shocked to discover that Dan Auerbach from The Black Keys played an integral part of its creation.  If you haven't discovered King yet, you should head right over to YouTube and check out any of his live performances.  This is the kind of dude you HAVE to see live, when this world ever gets back to being able to see live shows.  "El Dorado" did for me this year, what Sturgill Simpsons' "Sound of Fury" for me last year.  Another act that I cannot wait to see what comes next. 

9 - BAMBARA - Stray

To me, this is Mullholland Drive music. I picture California, up in the LA Hills, very late at night, cruising around, up to no good in some sleek, sharp convertible old school car. The big brass gives the music edge and age and its fucking glorious. This it the band that I would love to see do some sleazy and metaphor fueled track with Lana del Rey at some point in the future. Oh, what a combo that could be.  BAMBARA also brings to mind a Stooges/Iggy Pop meets Jim Morrison head on, kind of vibe and I love it a lot.  Check out their KEXP performance on YouTube, as it is absolute gold. Even though they refer to themselves as post punk, I'd like to refer to it as underground filth glamour... and its never been more beautiful. 

8 - Freddie Gibbs & Alchemist - Alfredo

Freddie Gibbs is one of the most exciting artists in modern hip hop, mainly because everything he puts out has that classic hip hop vibe that I have been missing.  Last year Gibbs made this list with his collaboration with Madlib, "Bandana". Whereas Eminem, Lil Wayne, and Kid Cudi have released some great albums this year, "Alfredo" is another cohesive piece of work that you just don't find often.  When the track placement doesn't matter, as they are a seamless piece, meant to be listened to from beginning to end, every time.  This album does for hip hop what Tyler The Creators, Igor,  did last year.  Its only appropriate there is a Tyler cameo.  Once again, bringing soul to the forefront of hip-hop, and I am totally here for it. 

7 - Chris Stapleton - Starting Over

This is the kind of modern country that I like. Bar rock country music!  Even though Stapleton hails from Kentucky and its true country,  something about his voice and this album makes me nostalgic for my childhood and those great Michigan summers growing up.  In a time of 'pretty boy' country, Stapleton gets to the grit of it.  This album conjures up the want for whiskey shots and dirty dancing.  There aren't many like it, but this is a greatest hits album from start to finish. 

6 - Benny Yurco - You Are My Dreams

Benny has always been the absolute best discovery of Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, as he THRIVES on his own.  As well as I feel I know him as a solo artist, I can't find jack shit on him on his own.  Everything you find is all Grace Potter.  The little things that I DO know are, is that I am well aware that he is musical instrument collector and finds ways to integrate it into all his music. One thing I love about Benny is his absolute classic and beachy sounds. Even though he hails from Vermont, its like he was made to be on the beach at all times playing his music.   All three of his solo albums are so clearly connected, but so different. He always picks up right where the last one ended. It should be noted that anytime Benny comes out with a new album, he ends up on this list.  So if you have read about him here and have still never checked him out, you are missing out. 

5 - Me & That Man - New Man, New Songs, Same Shit, Vol 1

One of the most "mood" albums of the year for me!  In the initial weeks of quarantine, I was in a mood where all I wanted to hear was outlaw western rock.  I couldn't really put a finger on any specific bands that I considered completely outlaw rock, but I had been listening to Volbeat's "Outlaw Gentleman & Shady Ladies" and the score for Red Dead Redemption for far too long, when I found Me & That Man.  Imagine my shock when I discovered the man behind the whole project was Nergal, the man who is also behind the band Behemoth, the black death metal band that I have simply never been able to get into!  What a turn from the norm for Nergal and I couldn't have been more excited about the album.  Another album that will always remind me of the worst of the worst of the year, but always knowing that music would carry it all and would always make things better. 

4 - All Them Witches - Nothing as the Ideal

I have a been a fan of All Them Witches since I first discovered them on Spotify years ago.  This is one of those albums that is so fucking perfect from beginning to end that you don't even realized that you have spent 45 minutes having a consistent eargasm. Exactly what a progressive rock band should sound like in 2020, as they draw from all past music and inspire the next round of craftsmanship.  This is one that I can't speak/type on too much, as it has to be experience on ones own... at full blast. 

3 - Molchat Doma - Monument

One of the best, purest retro albums that has been inspired by 80's in the best fucking way possible. How can you take something that has been done over and over throughout the years and make it sound not at all forced or contrived?   This is how.  I would call them new wave, but I've been since directed to the appropriate terminology, which is cold wave.  Hailing from Belarus, the Slavic language is such a perfect mesh for the sounds that they have created. The rest of the world was ahead of me with Molchat Doma, since one of their older songs hit TikTok and made them quite well known with a younger generation.  This album makes me daydream that I am dancing at one of their lives shows, in some dark eastern European club, where I would probably never feel comfortable, in anything outside of my imagination... but I it that though.  That is the kind of music that I live for.  

2 - Deftones - Ohms

It has been an entire decade since I have fully paid any significant attention to the Deftones, and for me, this has been their best album since White Pony twenty years ago.  The excitement that came with the release of the first two singles was enough to generate a massive buzz within me.  I made sure to listen to the entire catalog before release day, just to fully prepare... and when the new album finally arrive, it did not disappoint.   The last three albums have been the more subtle side of Chino Moreno, which is just fine when working with his side project +++.  He actually has one of my all time favorite sexy voices, when he isn't in the full tilt of a wail.  When he has the whole band behind him, he fully thrives and can still hit the screams that defined his voice decades ago.  This is an album that has made me feel all of the ROCK again and it will be in my rotation for many years to come. As the NYE ball drops this evening, I will be playing Ohms, as that is the best outro of any album to date... and certainly the way to close out the year. 

1 - Other Lives - For Their Love

My favorite of the year comes from a band that I had never heard of, despite their three albums that have been released prior! Even though I initially loved this album on first listen,  I will candidly admit that I forgot about it for a few months.  Somehow I found my way back, and For Their Love was on constant rotation for weeks at a time.  There is something about Jesse Tabish's voice that continues to haunt me well after the last note.  Other Lives has a sound that reminds me of something old, that has somehow become new and fresh all over again. It is haunting, it is beautiful, and it resonates the soul like a tuning fork.  The most beautiful souvenir of an awfully bleak and tragic year.  If you check out ONE of my suggestions this year, let it be this... 

[omarbelloutiworld]

100 difficult riddles & Answers that kids and families will love

1.    When you do not know what I am, then I am something. But when you know what I am, then I am nothing. What am I? A RIDDLE

2.     You can see me in water, but I never get wet. What am I? A REFLECTION

3.    The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? FOOTSTEPS

4.    When I am released to the wind, you look away and you pretend, but away your friends I will send. What am I? A FART

5.    What English word has three consecutive double letters? BOOKKEEPER

6.    Imagine you are in a dark room. How do you get out? STOP IMAGINING

7.    What English word retains the same pronunciation, even after you take away four of its five letters? QUEUE

8.    When you have me, you feel like sharing me. But, if you do share me, you don't have me. What am I? A SECRET

9.    A man is pushing his car along the road when he comes to a hotel. He shouts, "I'm bankrupt!" Why? HE IS PLAYING MONOPOLY

10.                       An English word has six letters, remove one letter, and twelve remains. What am I? DOZENS

11.                       What question can you never answer yes to? ARE YOU ASLEEP?

12.                       What invention lets you look right through a wall? A WINDOW

13.                       What s as light as a feather, but even the world's strongest man couldn't hold it for more than a minute? HIS BREATH

14.                       What occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment, yet never in a thousand years? THE LETTER M.

15.                       I never ask questions but am always answered. What am I? A DOORBELL

16.                       If you go to the movies and you're paying, is it cheaper to take one friend to the movies twice, or two friends to the movies at the same time?

-    IT'S CHEAPER TO TAKE TWO FRIENDS AT THE SAME TIME. IN THIS CASE, YOU WOULD ONLY BEBUYING THREE TICKETS, WHERE AS IF YOU TAKE THE SAME FRIEND TWICE YOU ARE BUYING FOUR TICKETS.

17.                       What gets bigger every time you take from it? A HOLE

18.                       What is full of holes, but can still hold a lot of water? A SPONGE

19.                       Which came first the chicken or the egg?

THE EGG. DINOSAURS LAID EGGS BEFORE THE REWERE ANY CHICKENS

20.                       No matter how much rain comes down on it, it won't get any wetter. What is it? WATER

21.                       I'm flat when I'm new. I'm fat when you use me. I release my gas when something sharp touches me. What am I? A BALLOON

22.                       Three times what number is no larger than two times that same number? 0

23.                       What do you throw out when you want to use it, but take in when you don't want to use it? AN ANCHOR

24.                       I cannot hear or even see, but sense light and sounds that may be. Sometimes I end up on the hook, or even deep into a book. What am I?A WORM

25.                       Which ring is square? A BOXINGRING

26.                       Why are manholes round instead of square?

IF THEY'RE SQUARE IT'S POSSIBLE FOR THE COVER TO SLIP DOWN THE HOLE (DIAGONALLY). A ROUND MAN HOLE CAN NOT FALL DOWN NO MATTER WHICH WAY IT IS ROTATED BECAUSE IT'S WIDTH IN ANY DIRECTION IS GREATER THAN THE OPENING ON THE HOLE.

27.                       What tastes better than it smells? YOUR TONGUE

28.                       At night, they come without being fetched. By day they are lost without being stolen. What are they? THE STARS

29.                       The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it? DARKNESS

30.                       What starts with a T, ends with a T, and has T in it? A TEAPOT

31.                       Say my name and I disappear. What am I? SILENCE

32.                       What is it that after you take away the whole, some still remains? WHOLE SOME

33.                       Forward I’m heavy, but backwards I’m not. What am I? TON

34.                       I am a box that holds keys without locks, yet they can unlock your soul. What am I? A PIANO

35.                       My first is twice in apple but not once in tart. My second is in liver but not in heart. My third is in giant and also in ghost. Whole I’m best when I am roast. What am I? A PIG

36.                       Remove six letters from this sequence to reveal a familiar English word. BSAINXLEATNTEARS BANANAS(REMOVED SIX LETTERS)

37.                       What has four wheels and flies? GARBAGE TRUCK

38.                       What has a forest but no trees, cities but no people and rivers but no water? MAP

39.                       Runs smoother than any rhyme, loves to fall but cannot climb. What am I? WATER

40.                       Take me and scratch my head. What once was red, is black instead. What am I? A MATCH

41.                       What is as big as you are and yet does not weigh anything? YOURSHADOW

42.                       It is an insect, and the first part of its name is the name of another insect. What is it? BEETLE

43.                       I'm where yesterday follows today, and tomorrow's in the middle. What am I? A DICTIONARY

44.                       How much dirt is there in a hole 3 feet deep, 6 ft. long and 4 ft. wide? NONE – IT IS A HOLE

45.                       Name all the numbers from 1 – 100, which have the letter ‘A’ in their spellings? NONE

46.                       What kind of coat is always wet when you put it on? A COAT OF PAINT

47.                       What kind of cheese is made backwards? EDAM

48.                       What can you hold in your right hand but never in your left hand? YOUR LEFT HAND

49.                       During what month do people sleep the least? FEBRUARY

50.                       What can never be placed in a sauce pan? ITS LID

51.                       I am always there, some distance away, somewhere between land or sea and sky I lay. You may move towards me, but distant I will stay. What am I?  THE HORIZON

52.                       I can only live where there is light, but I die if the light shines on me. What am I? A SHADOW

53.                       What kind of room has no doors or windows? A MUSHROOM

54.                       What can you catch but not throw? A COLD

55.                       What has a Heart but no other organs? A DECK OF CARDS

56.                     Two people are born at the same moment, but they don't have the same birthdays. How could this be? THEY ARE BORN IN DIFFERENT TIME ZONES

57.                       What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A CARROT

58.                       What always goes to bed with its shoes on? A HORSE

59.                       How can you make 7 even? REMOVE THE S

60.                       What am I? A QUESTION

61.                       I can bring tears to your eyes; resurrect the dead, make you smile, and reverse time. I form in an instant but I last a life time. What am I? A MEMORY

62.                       Mr. Smith has two children. If the older child is a boy, what are the odds that the other child is also a boy? 50 PERCENT

63.                       A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All the sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by. What color is the bear? WHITE. IT IS A POLAR BEAR

64.                       What starts with an e but only has a single letter in it? ANENVELOPE

65.                       A girl who was just learning to drive went down a one-way street in the wrong direction but didn't break the law. How come? SHE WAS WALKING

66.     ��                 If in a car race, the man who came two places in front of the last man finished one ahead of the man who came fifth. How many contestants were there? 6

67.                       A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him? THE THIRD ROOM. LIONS THAT HAVEN'T EATEN IN THREE YEARS ARE DEAD.

68.                       What's black and white and red all over? A NEWSPAPER

69.                       What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead? A SNOWFLAKE

70.                       I am the only organ that named myself. What am I? THE BRAIN

71.                       You walk into a room with a rabbit holding a carrot, a pig eating slop, and a chimp holding a banana. Which animal in the room is the smartest?YOU

72.                       What always murmurs but never talks, always runs but never walks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a mouth but never speaks? A RIVER

73.                       I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a wooden case, from which Iam never released, and yet I am used by almost everybody. What am I? A PENCIL

74.                       I'm tall when I'm young and I'm short when I'm old. What am I? A CANDLE

75.                       What house can fly?  A HOUSEFLY

76.                       What goes up and doesn't go down? YOUR AGE

77.                       No matter how terrible things get for the people of the Arctic, they will not eat a penguin. Why? THERE AREN'T ANY PENGUINS IN THE ARTIC

78.                       A group of ten people are going out for pizza but only two of them have an umbrella to keep them dry. But they manage to walk all the way to the pizza place without getting wet.How is this possible? IT ISN'T RAINING OUTSIDE

79.                       What runs around the house but doesn't move? A FENCE

 80.                       What goes around the house and in the house but never touches the house? THE SUN

81.                       A man finds a small iron coin dated 154 B.C., what's it worth? IT IS A FAKE. NO COIN CAN SAY BC

82.                       There is a one-story house. The walls are blue, the floor is pink, the stove and cupboards are red. What color are the stairs? THERE AREN'T ANY STAIRS

83.                       Why was the baby strawberry crying? BECAUSE ITS PARENTS WERE IN A JAM

84.                       I can be cracked, I can be made. I can be told, I can be played. What am I? A JOKE

85.                       I can't go left, I can't go right. I am forever stuck in a building over three stories high. What am I? AN ELEVATOR

86.                       What goes back and forth constantly, but never in a straight line? A PENDULUM

87.                       What dress can you not wear? AN ADDRESS

88.                       What belongs to you but others use it more? YOUR NAME

89.                       I don’t have eyes, but once I did see. Once I had thought, but am now white and empty. What am I? SKULL

90.                       What has hands that can’t clap? A CLOCK

91.                       Which three numbers have the same answer when added together and multiplied together? 1, 2 AND 3

92.                       What has a mouth but can't chew? A RIVER

93.                       How did Mark legally marry three women in Michigan, without divorcing any of them, becoming legally separated, or any of them dying? HE WAS A PRIEST

94.                       I have all the knowledge you have. But I am not much larger than your fist. What am I? I'M YOUR BRAIN

95.                       Everyone in the world needs it. They generously give it, but rarely take it. What is it? ADVICE

96.                       Take off my skin - I won't cry, but you will. What am I? AN ONION

97.                       Lighter than what I am made of, more of me is hidden than is seen. What am I? AN ICEBERG

98.                       You heard me before, yet you hear me again, then I die, ’till you call me again. What am I? AN ECHO

99.                       If you were standing directly on Antarctica’s South Pole facing north, which direction would you travel if you took one step backward? NORTH

100.                 What has a neck but no head? A BOTTLE

[thornstocutyouwith]

ZOMBIES!? In my RP’s!? More likely than you think.

[10:17 PM] Soup:

Sean had never believed in zombies. He never believed in vampires, werewolves, or any other supernatural creatures that went bump in the night. They were all stories to him, tales that made your heart race and made you want to sleep with the night light on in the hallway. That had all changed the night a strange noise was heard from his mobile phone as he slept beside Seti, his boyfriend going on two years. It had woke him up out of a deep sleep, honey brown eyes blinking away the fuzziness that had come from your body being forced to wake up when it wasn't ready. Seti's phone had been going off as well and Sean sat up in bed to read the emergency alert – an alert he had to read * twice*. “--- what is this? Don't panic. Remain calm and inside. Seek shelter. Arm yourself. Do not engage the Walking Dead? Is this a prank?” Suddenly his phone had rang, it was Shay on the other line. Sean's face had gone ghost white as he heard his sister's voice on the other end. Swallowing thickly he had hung up the phone and turned to look at Seti. “It isn't a prank. Seti, get dressed. Get a weapon, whatever we have. There is a safe zone Shay wants us to make our way toward, it is about a seven hour drive from here. She is going to meet us half way.” Sean had bounced out of bed, pulling on his jeans and a hoodie, looking at Seti over his shoulder. “I'll get us some supplies, as much as we can carry – we have to pack light. People are in a panic everywhere, it is chaos in the city. You can hot wire a car can't you? According to Shay something triggered and everything has been shut down. The power plants, the gas station, its every man for himself”Sean never thought he would see the day, apparently – he had been wrong.

[5:19 AM] Karma:

Seti was often the worst person to wake up, mostly because it was hard to do sometimes. He just enjoyed sleeping that much. So as Sean had gotten up in a rush Seti had remained, absolutely peaceful in his sleep.  It had also not been very wise to wake Seti up prematurely from a sleep. Especially one as peaceful as the one he had seemed to be in at that moment. Hearing his phone he turned away from it "If it's a blizzard, ignore it...." Seti muttered then before he drifted off back to sleep, so easily.  Sleep often came very easy to him, of course.  Slowly however he began to wake up as Sean was continuing to talk about the alert. "Mmm...Are you sure? Because Hawaii had an alert once. I think. A world ending one, and they all thought they were about to die. Turns out, someone pushed the wrong button. Or rather, didn't push the right one." He chuckled a bit before moving to the edge of the bed and rubbing his eyes " Where in the hell are we going to seek shelter at, Sean?" It was hard to believe something so immediate and dangerous was actually happening, to be honest, Seti was hard to believe such things " Maybe they are just over reacting,--Arm ourselves? ...It's hard to imagine that they would care enough to tell any of the public about something so dangerous that they would warn them to protect themselves."

[5:20 AM] Karma:

He got up however and started to get dressed then " What weapon? Have we been stock piling up on weapons, Sean?"  Seti asked as he moved across the room toward a dresser and started to pull clothing out of it before moving to put things on for the cold weather. He wouldn't not try and get to saftey. But he was fairly certain that this was all just a false alarm and they would have been worried over nothing in the end.  Grabbing some things to carry items in he started putting stuff into the bags " Seven hours away? Your sister is really having us drive that far away over something that might just be a false alarm?" He stood their for a moment, though he knew that Shay wasn't likely to make this up. She clearly believed in whatever was going on. After having packed a few things that could be water, food, extra clothing and other necessities and things that would fit in the car, along with various things that could be or were  weapons. He stepped away from the back of the car then and frowned " Well get in the drivers seat..." He smiled then and looked the vehicle over " Well, RV...But you know, you get the point...Also, uh. Surprise. I baught and RV for us to travel in...." Holding out his hands he gave a grin before briefly shaking his hands at his sides " We have an RV.-- OH! SHIT! The cats and the rabbits. I have to get our babies."  Seti scurried off then to go up stairs, coming back with the food and more water for the animals. Then he went back up before bringing down two pet carriers one for rabbits and one for cats. He shoved them into the back of the RV then and then climbed in " Alright. Our kids are here, lets get the fuck out of here, you got everything?"

[8:44 AM] Soup:

“You didn't hear the tone of Shay's voice, Seti. If she is sure, than I am sure.” Sean clearly understood why Seti was less than enthusiastic and doubtful of the warning, Sean never woke Seti up. Even if he slept in past two in the afternoon he wasn't shaking the boy awake unless there was a good reason. Seti was -not- a morning person. Not like Sean who was basically a 'whatever hell time of day it is' kinda person. After two years with somebody you tended to learn a lot. What they liked, what they -were- like, what pissed them off, what made them smile or what made them sad. The two probably would have been married already if such a thing was legal in their state. “--maybe they are, but I don't have a good feeling about it.” Sean had spent the next few minutes packing a bag with the things that Seti hadn't – the weapons. Knives, a machete, a bat, a rifle with two boxes of bullets, a small revolver that had three boxes. While Seti hadn't told him about the RV, Sean hadn't told him about the guns. Sean had a look of surprise when all it had taken was one step outside to realize that Shay and the emergency alert had not been making things up. The sky was an eerie color, a color that Sean couldn't really describe, the sound of car alarms, screams, they could all be heard in the distance as Sean found himself staring down the road with concerned honey brown eyes. “The neighbours, they are heading this way but ---”

[8:44 AM] Soup:

They were walking strange. Limping, dragging their legs behind them as Seti had come out of the house with the two pet carriers. The rabbits had started freaking out, hopping madly in their cages, the cats fur standing up on end as they two were hissing and howling toward the two people making their way toward them. “Seti, get in the fucking RV. NOW.” He hadn't wanted to waste the bullets in his revolver, grabbing the machete as he made his way toward Mister and Misses Lake – a couple that had been living next to them since the day they moved in. The gargled noses coming from their throats were almost inhuman, the skin on their faces pastey and sunken in. Sean could handle two of them on his own, he was certain of it, as the woman lurched forward at him he had put his whole weight into swinging the Machete – cutting her head clean off at the neck. The man however had reached out for him, a deathly grip much stronger than Sean had been expecting forcing Sean to punch the zombie right in the face before taking his head off with a momentousness swing.

[8:44 AM] Soup:

Sean had stood there, a look of relief on his face for only a moment as he heard the groaning and moaning again. More of them were coming out of their houses, coming around parking cars, working their way toward him to surrond him. Sean didn't stick around at that moment, quickly running to the RV and putting the Machete on the floor before he started the RV that wouldn't turn over. “Bloody Hell! Where did you find this RV Seti? A junkyard?” As Sean struggled to start the RV they were getting surronded – hands and faces slapping against the exterior of the vehicle, causing Sean to jump in his skin as one clawed at the glass and smushed their face against the windshield right in front of him. When the RV started rocking, he had looked at Seti. “Yeah. Just a wrong button pushed thing huh?”

[8:45 AM] Soup:

It had taken Sean five pumps of the gas and six turns of the key to finally have the RV turning over. “Hang On.” He had floored it then, driving right over the four zombies that were minutes away from breaking through the windshield, ignoring the sound of crushed bodies underneath the wheels as he sped down the road. How he wished it had all been a hoax – because it was more terrifying that it -wasn't-.

[4:58 PM] Karma:

"Well of course not. I couldn't hear her while half asleep still and you were on the phone." Seti had continued to look at Sean as the other stood there on the phone, his eyes narrowing slightly as he thought about how much it would be emotionally taxing on them if something serious were happening. Seti laughed then before shaking his head, thinking that was a stupid thought anyway " Well,...As they say, better safe than sorry, right?" He muttered before moving to meet with the other. Once out in the RV he stares as Sean steps out with a bag of guns " Well aren't you packing." He muttered toward Sean before he shook his head " And how about now, how are you feeling about it now?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, then followed Sean's gaze toward the neighbors " Well, looks like someone was out partying late last night." He couldn't imagine anyone getting so drunk "Hm...Strange." But the chaos around him had gone mostly ignored by the Egyptian. It wasn't like he didn't care, or wouldn't have found such things serous. He just didn't know what it was he was supposed to be worried about.

[4:58 PM] Karma:

As he continued to watch the creatures making their way toward the two of them he backed up with the cages " Alright you guys, hush hush...there's no need for that. I'll put you down.." As Sean was telling him to get inside he just nodded " Well where else was I going to go, Egypt..." Closing the door on the side he secured it shut before securing the cages in little holder slots " See Sean. I bought this thing from that creepy guy outside of towns, son... You know, the one that was always talking about the end of days..." "Apparently he was building this for just such an occasion. I was in the neighborhood and seen and thought 'Hey, Sean and I could take some romantic vacations with such a beast as this'... and now here we are." He paused to look toward the boxes of new parts he had gotten for finishing up and replacing the broken or bad parts of the RV " A RV just waiting for the final touches..." He looked toward Sean then as the banging and assault on the RV began to happen, of course not much damage was done to the vehicle in all, the attempt was futile " Huh, I guess the guys son was right, this is built like a tank. No wonder it's such a gas guzzler."

[4:59 PM] Karma:

Blinking then he looked to Sean once more before getting in the passenger seat " Thank god he had extra gas storage's built in...Or else this trip would be a nightmare. " Glancing out of the window he watched as they drove passed the undead people wondering absently on the streets and sidewalks " I wonder what other secrets this thing has... Should really have replaced that engine and such first though, and a lot sooner." Looking to Sean once more he gave a shrug " Maybe something got into the water Sean...You know..like, cocaine..." A man walked into a building. It had been only an hour or so before Sean received the phone call from his sister. Asher, who had basically just gotten out of years of training and such had been going to meet with his new partner, and observe on the field work. As he walked up to the front desk he told the man sitting there at it his name. Then was allowed on through where he spent the next few moments being talked to and then his partner finally arrived. They walked up and told him he was to remain silent and only observe what was going on. That the guy they had in custody that day was one Darius Shelters. Under investigation for quite a few crimes. Mostly those against the government.

[4:59 PM] Karma:

As the door to the interrogation room opened Asher's partner, several decades older than him, stepped in and walked up to the table where Darius was sat at. With a wave of a hand the older male gestured to the second chair to his right, signalling for Asher to come in and sit down. Asher had stood behind them for a moment, almost like a baby duck waddling behind it's mother before blinking and jumping to the side " Oh, right..-Oh sh-Quiet, quiet...shh...Sorry. I'm observing now." He zipped his mouth, making the gesture with his hand before moving over to take a seat in the empty chair. His partner rolling his eyes before they began to lay into Darius with questions about their involvement, or potential involvement in some recent crimes.

[9:46 PM] Soup:

It wasn't really a surprise, Shay was very much a straight to the point kind of person – firm, direct, and loud when she thought somebody wasn't listening. She most certainly had heard the disbelief in Sean's tone, and she had no other way to tell him but to be firm with her little brother when she said it - unfortunately that had carried through the phone and straight to Seti as well. Better safe than sorry was an understatement in hindsight and Seti had definitely been taking things a lot more calmly and casual than Sean had – going as far to call the neighbours drunk. How could Seti not see the truth when it was staring him right in the face? “So much for a romantic vacation and that kid had more sense to him than this whole town. Do you not see what is going on here Seti? How much more proof do you need?” As Sean asked he had gestured around the vehicle and toward the undead howling, gurgling, and scraping at the windows and the doors. Sean had shaken his head as he peeled the RV out of the driveway, squealing the tires as he ended east down the highway. The whole town had looked deserted and there were Undead everywhere. Cars and trucks were left abandoned and Sean had been forced to slam on the breaks to avoid rear-ending the six cars that had been piled up at the intersection.

[9:46 PM] Soup:

Slender digits had gripped the wheel as Sean's eyes squinted, leaning forward to see one of the car doors opening. “Seti, are you seeing this? Should we help? --” First a hand had flopped out, landing on the pavement and for a moment whoever was halfway in the car and out of it was barely moving. His grip on the wheel had tightened as he saw more undead start to make their way to the car, moaning, staggering toward the woman who had pulled herself out and started crawling on the ground toward the RV.  That was the moment Sean had put the RV in park, reaching for the rifle he had stashed underneath the seat. Only when Sean went to open the door an arm had reached for his – forcing him to yelp as he shut the door and the undead looked at him briefly before joining the growing crowd of other undead surronding the woman. “You can't tell me this is all from cocaine in the water Seti”

[9:46 PM] Soup:

As the large group completely covered her Sean had put the RV in reverse, looking over his shoulder as he began driving backward and away from the scene. “We aren't getting to the meeting point through there – I hope this bitch can handle the backroads” They were about to find out. Darius: “Play good cop bad cop all you want, it wasn't murder.” What hadn't he done? Grand Theft Auto – check. Break and Enter – check. Murder? Was it really murder when the person you had killed was already dead? “You people don't understand – that woman you saw me kill lieutenant was already dead. I just realized it before the rest of you all did.” Darius had shifted uncomfortably in his chair, the bite mark on his arm from the Undead woman was itching again. “I have an itch, seeing you guys have me handcuffed to the table, mind scratching it for me?”

[6:14 AM] Karma:

"Alright Sean. Will you shut up about it. I'm not blind. Jeez." Seti burst, Sean's paranoid attempts to unblind Seti had done nothing more than annoy the Egyptian. Clearly there was something wrong. How stupid did Sean think that Seti really was " I don't need you trying to terrorize me about it. Something like this isn't possible... That's all..- It is just hard to process all of ...this-" He gestured to all of outside of the RV " So lay off with the thick attempts to convince me of the apparent!" As the other asked about the people he rolled his eyes " Fuck no! What the hell Sean, you were just expressing how dangerous everything is! Why would you stop to help someone?! Clearly that's not something we are going to do. Look at them, they are surrounded. If we stop to help them, the likelihood of none of us making it out of that mess is made higher. If this is really happening. I'm going to need you to think that sort of thought through a little more thoroughly. It's not a time for morals Sean. It's survival now."

[6:14 AM] Karma:

Seti had looked out the window though, not enjoying the facts. But accepting them none the less. He hated being such a cold unsympathetic seeming person, especially now. But what else could he do. Let Sean stop and then have them both die. He wasn't going to let Sean risk his life for something so unnecessary. There was no telling who could be trusted, or what the future would hold for them, if they were to rescue those people. The right path, to him, was clearly to keep going. Because the only consequences of that would be that those people would be dead, or if any survived the attack, they wouldn't likely come find them for any revenge. " Well then what the hell are your ideas about why something like this is happening. And for that matter, why it happened so quickly. Clearly it's more of a virus thing. But I was trying to lighten the mood since all those stories have been going around about people snorting bath salts and then going off the deep in which lead to one man eating another mans face off. I see it must have went over your head though. - Of course, now is not really a good time for jokes either. I suppose." He gave a small shrug then.

[6:14 AM] Karma:

As he watched Sean he narrowed his eyes " So put that gun down and get your narrow ass back in that seat and fucking drive before I duck tape you to one of the cabinets in the back. He then rolled his eyes again as Sean continued to make comments about the RV " Oh, I am sure it's going to run just fine there. You are acting as if this beast, not bitch, is that old and run down. When it's not." Seti then laughed and slapped a hand against the door " She'll do what needs doing." Asher had looked back and forth between his partner and Darius as the two spoke. He then swallowed before glancing to one side as his partner did all of the talking for them, clearly not having the experience needed for interrogating suspected murders. As Darius asked that question though he spoke up "Um, well, yes. Because there is no proof of their being dead prior to your assumed murdering of them.--Though it's not much of an assumption since ten civilian's seen you murder that woman..." Asher cut off as his partner was looking at him then looked away, giving a nod " Right, quiet. Sorry."

[6:15 AM] Karma:

When his partner went back to trying to question Darius Asher had continued to watch the two taking in everything that had been going on between them. To Asher, Darius had not been providing a good enough tale to make anyone not be convinced he hadn't murdered a woman in broad daylight in front of a large set of witnesses. Darius clearly had and was just being difficult, as far as anyone else could see, at the moment. It was all just a waste of time really. And as time passed his partner had gotten fed up with it. Just as a large 'boom' had come from somewhere on one of the floors below them. Then nothing but silence as his partner had looked around. Asher had been looking around as well only to let out a breath " You know you get a lighter sentence if you just confess to the crime. Clearly no jury of your peers is going to see the video of you murdering that woman, so vividly and go ' no, he didn't do it. She clearly was dead'... You're a dead man, otherwise." Asher told Darius just before another bang, this one making the entire building shake could be heard. His partner walked over toward the door and grabbed it only to find that it had jammed, locking the three of them in the room. Asher looked over, giving a confused look " What do you mean it's jammed, what is all that noise and shaking anyway..." It was impossible to think that anyone would be attacking a police station in such a time of day.

[6:19 AM] Karma:

Standing then Asher reached over toward Darius only for his partner to swing around and point at him, stopping him in his tracks. Then tell him not to DARE itch Darius' arm, or so help him he was fitting to break Asher's in return " Alright. Don't got to be so vicious about it." Asher could see the other was extremely irritated, and clearly had been the entire day. So he sat back down and pulled out his phone, playing with it as his partner continued with the door. Only for another loud boom to be heard a moment later and the floor suddenly crumbled below them, filling the room completely with dust as the three fell down to the lower level. Asher's partner being impaled on piece of jagged metal sticking out of the ground. The dust and dirt in the room had created such a clouded space that Asher could barely see two feet in front of him by the time he had woken up. There had been distance screaming and what he could only describe to himself as the noises of war in some war movie, going on all around him. Letting out a cough he moved to raise his right hand only to wince in pain as it shot through his arm. He could feel that it was badly broken and that there had been quite a bit of rubble stacked onto his entire arm. Laying on his back in the remains of the room, or building? He couldn't see at that moment, he continued to cough, lifting up his left arm to cover his mouth and nose with the sleeve in an attempt to get some fresh air. Shifting he tried to pull his arm free only to get another shock of pain through it and let out an agonized cry, before biting his lips shut.

[9:25 AM] Soup:

Well, Sean could certainly say that it wasn't their first argument, and he certainly could say he sort of had it coming – alright, he definitely had it coming. Maybe it wasn't so much of an argument as they definitely had annoyed each other. Seti had annoyed Sean when it seemed to him he was acting oblivious and not taking the situation seriously, and Sean was annoying Seti by taking the situation TOO seriously in a way it seemed he was terrorizing his boyfriend. “I'm sorry.” That was really all Sean could say. Clearly, the strangeness of the situation had affected both of the two boys. Why would he stop to help someone? Those annoying little things called -morals-. Sean had them. Those little urges to help someone, and it wasn't that Seti -didn't- have those urges, it was that he was smarter about it. Everything Seti had said made sense, everything Seti had said was logical, there were simply too many zombies around the woman to even think about intervening and that was going to be a hard lesson for Sean to learn. “---yeah well, at least my narrow ass can still get -both- feet on the pedals.” Sean had muttered his apology again, underneath his breath as he put the RV in reverse and swung the vehicle around to look for a road – or a back road, that would lead them to the rendezvous point without any obstacles.

[9:25 AM] Soup:

Sean had stuck to the back roads as much as possible, in a case like a zombie apocalypse it seemed better to stay -away- from the heavily populated cities and towns. The only problem was that the beast of the RV wasn't exactly built for off-roading on the types of roads Sean was driving on and it had only been a couple of hours in that the RV hit a huge pot hole and the sound of one of the tires going flat had shaken the RV as Sean was forced to pull off to the side of the dirt road and half way into the ditch. “Please tell me the RV has a spare” Sean had a bit of experience dealing with flat tires, taking in a deep breath as he rolled his hands against the steering wheel and looked over at Seti. “Whatever happens – stay in the bloody vehicle” This wasn't the case of Sean rushing out to help a woman surrounded by zombies, this was the case of Sean having no choice but to get out of the RV to change a tire. He had taken a deep breath, opening the driver's side door before he was leaning over to grab Seti's face with his shaking hands and pressing his lips against his. He had held onto the kiss as if he was committing it to memory and he rested his forehead against Seti's before leaving the safety of the RV and taking his gun with him.

[9:25 AM] Soup:

There was nothing that Sean could hear the moment his feet touched the ground and he shut the door behind him. Honey brown eyes had looked around cautiously, until he was satisfied that nobody was around them. Walking around the RV he found the hatch that contained a jack, a wrench, and a spare tire and went to work on changing the tire that would hopefully last on the back roads until they could find a tire shop to ransack. “Fuck” Sean had known that spare tires weren't meant to be -replacement- tires and even though he had worked as fast as his hands had allowed it wasn't fast enough to get back on the road before any unwanted company found its way to them. It was when Sean had started securing the last bolt that he heard the sound – the shuffling of feet, the jagged throat groans, Sean should have started running right then but he was thinking about Seti and the animals chance of escape. He had managed. He had managed to secure the last bolt, but he hadn't given himself enough time to get back inside the RV when he had turned around to find himself face to face with a zombie that had lurched at him. Sean's back had hit the RV, causing him to lose his footing and drop to his ass – his hand reaching for the heavy wrench as he bolted to his feet. The zombie caught a chunk of Sean's arm flesh as Sean clocked the zombie across the face hard enough to stagger it back. Ignoring the stinging pain, ignoring the blood running down his arm, Sean had left the zombie behind to jump back into the RV. “It bit me, it fucking bit me, Seti --”

[9:25 AM] Soup:

The animals inside were getting crazy, hissing and growling as Sean pulled the RV away, and why wouldn't they? They knew what had happened, they knew what it meant, Sean had no idea how much time he had left as he pulled back onto the dirt road and floored it. “I'll get you as far as I can, but the moment I'm not myself anymore Seti --” And Sean, couldn't even finish the words. “There is no crime for me to confess to!' Well, he -wasn't- about to confess to THAT crime because it wasn't a crime. Darius had been aggravated as he gave the handcuffs another tug to try and get out of them on his own. The noise had made Darius jump in his chair, attention torn away from Asher and whoever the hell was the other guy and toward the noise. “Let me out of these fucking handcuffs! Don't you idiots see what is going on here?!” Clearly, they didn't.  Darius still wasn't paying attention to the other two when he started inching himself back in the chair – the moment the room started violently shaking, the -moment- Darius felt the dust fall on his face and in his hair from the ceiling, he had pushed out the chair from underneath him and jolted his body underneath the table.

[9:26 AM] Soup:

It was impossible to see anything in the rumble that was coming down all around him, chunks of ceiling and walls as the floor gave way right underneath them. Darius had avoided much of the debris that had fallen, but he had been buried in the rumble once the building had settled. Even then, however, he had been able to push chunks of debris and the table off of him, staggering to his feet as he started to cough on the dust heavy in the air. He didn't how many people were dead, the ones that had survived were in rougher shape that he was considering he had managed only a few bumps and scratches when the building had come down. It was when he was stepping over chunks of concrete and destroyed furniture that he had heard Asher's cry out a few feet away. Darius had two choices. Two very -obvious- choices. He could leave Asher to die, it wouldn't take too long – he would either die from his own blood loss or he would die from a zombie. Or, he could pick him up, drag him out, and at least give him a -chance- of surviving on his own. “You are already dead, you know that right?” The words left Darius's thin lips as he approached Asher, bending down and positing himself for Asher to grab onto him and use his body as support to stand himself up. There wasn't any time to access extent of the damage that had been done but they had to keep moving. “We need to leave. NOW. You have a weapon on you? You have a car? I have a place we can go, but we need to make a stop first.” As Darius coaxed Asher forward he reached for a jagged piece of wood to use a weapon, chances were – he was going to need it.

[deliberatelyinmotion-blog]

The empathy of Springsteen on Broadway

I have never been a big fan of Bruce Springsteen, as a matter of fact I have never been a fan of his until about four years ago when I decided to finally listen to one of his albums entitled “The River”.  As a person who was born in 1980 it seemed nostalgic to listen to that album because of its original release date.

I was born in Poland when it was still under the communist regime, and my exposure to western music was very limited.  However I was lucky enough not to remember much of realities of that time.  I was still very young when it all changed in 1989.  The iron curtain fell, and it was brave new world for all of us.  To make a long story short, my first exposure to Bruce Springsteen and his music was when I’ve heard “Born in the U.S.A” … and it seemed like another propaganda piece, but this time it “freely” came from the west instead of east.  Don’t get me wrong, we kids all loved Rocky IV, and american movies and music.  I guess, when it came to Bruce and his music,  I was too young, and ignorant to understand/relate to the stories and emotions embedded to his art.  

Then the nineties arrived, and grunge swept me off my feet.   As a teenager with all the hormones and anger raging inside, I loved Nirvana, the intensity and fuck you- attitude of their music.  Especially  when it felt real, unlike the pompous, manufactured music of all those hair bands that came before it.   I think that in a way, I’ve put Springsteen in the same compartment as Warrant, Poison or so many similar bands (Bon Jovi? ;)

With “Streets of Philadelphia” he got my attention.  I was thirteen at the time, but I loved the haunting lyrics (translated by a friend who could speak the language), and that background, relentlessly dark synth sound… awesome.  

Bruce Springsteen deserved my attention, and I knew that I had to, at least, listen to one of his albums… but Nirvana, Pearl Jam, STP, Smashing Pumpkins and their music were the masters of my musical life.  Then as time went by, and my musical journey progressed, I went back and surrendered my attention to the likes of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, The Doors… especially The Doors.  Then even little further in time, listening to B.B King, Buddy Guy, Chuck Berry…

Music is like a big tree with branches sprawling in all directions,  you can listen to a band, but then you find out that they were influenced by someone else’s music… so you follow it down the rabbit hole, further and further.

My father died when I was sixteen years old.  I felt ashamed that when he was still alive I preferred to spend time with my friends, listening to music, or wandering aimlessly for long, long hours throughout my town.  Sleeping at abandoned shed by the river, anywhere and anything but going home.  He was a good father, but with problems that, I’ve stupidly thought, tarnished his superman persona.  My original idol was flawed...and I couldn’t comprehend, I couldn’t realize that it was my way of thinking which was flawed.  

After his death my musical world swirled around Portishead, Massive Attack, Tricky… then Marilyn Manson, Korn, System of a Down.  It took a long time until I was ready to listen to any other genre.  

After all this, you might think, where does Springsteen’s music enter?

It does with my first boyish love.   

It was Saturday night.  Me and my friends as always were out on a town.  Hitting all the “cool” spots, and then ending up at this house party where you were “the man” if you showed up with any kind of liquor.   It was mostly vodka… because of Poland :)

So we’re there doing shots without anything to chase it with, the music was swirling in the air, and then she walked in and started a conversation.  It seemed so natural to talk to her, so smooth and easy.   I knew her for some time now, but always treated her as a friend only.  

Later on that night me and two of my cousins have walked her and few other girls home, and the whole world changed.  It pulsated with this new energy.

I came back home, and turned on the radio.  I turned the volume to the lowest setting because it was late at night, and with my ear by the single speaker I’ve heard

“Hey little girl, is your daddy home?”

He sang longingly

“I got a bad desire,

Oh, oh, oh I’m on fire”

I’m thirty four, and my life have changed a lot.  I left Poland when still a teenager.  Living an “undocumented thriller” of a life in the USA.  I made few friends in high school, but couldn’t really socialize, because every weekend or holiday, I’ve spent working construction to earn some money and save it for future college education… One associate degree, one green card, and many years later I still work construction, but over time my whole worldview have changed.  I guess it’s part of growing up, you forget about things that made you happy , make new priorities, change desires, make them more imminent.  The music however is still with me. I still listen to it constantly… but I’ve never truly learned how to play guitar, or any instrument… one of these days...maybe…

One day, driving back home, I’ve started a new playlist on my Pandora app (I think that when it comes to generated playlists, Pandora it’s hands down better than any other streaming service).  I’ve listened to the music of the 80’s… I don’t know why I did it,  I’ve always thought that the 80’s were terrible music wise.  Twenty minutes in, I’ve heard “My hometown”.  It caught me by surprise, I’ve listened to the lyrics, the notes… and it took me back to my youth, to my long forgotten hometown in Poland.  Later on that night I played “The River” in its entirety.  It was so simply powerful.

Thirty eight years old, with wife and three kids.  House, and all that comes with it, established position in the company that I work for, two cars, and zero time for myself.  

I found out that Springsteen will do Broadway show.  The idea of seeing him in such intimate setting of a relatively small venue, was appealing.  I could spend some reasonable amount of money  for tickets, but I was unlucky to get them.  Oh well…

It’s 5:20 in the morning.  Friday.  I get in my car, and pull out of my driveway.  Go to a local coffee place to jump start the morning.  I check the weather on my smartphone while waiting in short line, then see all new music releases available to stream on my drive to work.

Springsteen on Broadway was one of the new albums available.  I’ve paid for my coffee, got in the car, hit play… and couldn’t stop the wave of emotions.  Nostalgia, sadness, regret, happiness, hope, love.  All this while driving south on New Jersey turnpike.  

Until this day I only had two favorite live albums.

First and always is Nirvana - MTV Unplugged in New York

Second - David Bowie with its live album originally released as part of three disk set - Portland BBC Radio Theatre

Now Bruce Springsteen joins that club.  

It was his music that I have played that same evening to my wife, and Sunday, when we’ve put our kids to sleep, we’ve watched the filmed version of the show.  

At one point Bruce says that he wrote songs about things that he absolutely head zero knowledge about.  Factories, five days a week job, and such, but was it really so?

All great art gets enhanced, and in the process, changed by the audience.  We add our own past experiences to the words, the sounds of the song, even if we’ve never worked in a factory, but we all, most of us were in love, were happy, sad, or desperate.  Nature of our work is just a background of a universal story.  Springsteen’s words and music tapped into, and amplified that.

When he spoke about him climbing that neighborhood tree, I climbed similar one, but not in Jersey, but in Poland.  When he spoke about his father, I thought about and missed mine, regretting moments lost.  When he spoke about dreams of the future, it rushed me back in time to my teenage idealistic self with grand expectations about the world.  When he spoke about him having a moment with his father, their reconciliation, and lesson learned from it, made me think about my own role in my children’s lives.  

Bruce doesn’t write about tangible things, he writes about feelings that we can relate to and compound upon.  The empathy that comes with his music surrounds us, and it’s so intimate that it only can be described as Life… Art…

[seekingenjoyment]

January

In my mind, one of my New Years’ resolutions was going to be writing on the blog more consistently so I wouldn’t have to try and remember all the things we have done... clearly, it isn’t going so well. Since I last posted, Cai and I went to Nelson on the South Island, explored the Manukau heads, had more visitors from Wales, and went to the Coromandel Penninsula. 

To start, we went to Nelson for a long weekend (Wednesday to Sunday) where we were looking forward to beautiful national parks and visiting the “sunshine capital” of New Zealand. Unfortunately, during our time in Nelson, the town didn’t live up to its name. From mid-day Wednesday until just before our flight home on Sunday, there was endless rain and gray clouds looming over us. I won’t share much because we are planning to go back with the Evans family in April, but we were able to visit some of the national parks and find other ways to see the area despite the weather. 

On our first day, Cai and I went to visit Rabbit Island and the area Mapua where we had fish and chips and a game of Pictionary in the beach sand. We then went on to meet Bryn and Flavia (Cai’s friend from home and his partner) at our air bnb. Our hosts at the bnb Robin and Richard were like our New Zealand grandparents who were wonderful and welcoming, making the trip even more enjoyable... they also made us breakfast making all of my opinions about them biased. The first evening we went out to dinner at a delicious indian restaurant where we sat outside under an awning as it poured down rain. You will all be happy to know Cai went and got the car in the rain and picked us up at the door; found myself a gentleman! The rain continued into Day 2, so we occupied ourselves by driving around the Marlborough sounds and down to Blenheim where we stopped into the Villa Maria winery and explored local parks. The highlight of the day was trying the Saviogn Blanc at the winery, best we’ve ever tried, even Cai couldn’t stop talking about it! As for the views, the low clouds and rain were a disruption, but we did our best to make the most of the day. 

Days three and four were about the National Parks. We went to Nelson Lakes National Park and went on a walk around Lake Rotoiti which was beautiful even in the clouds. Even more beautiful though, was the Able Tasman. Able Tasman Regional Park has been praised by many of our friends, so we had high expectations. We went on a long walk in the area stopping along to see what the coastal park had to offer. Luckily, we stayed dry until the end of our week and even had a peak of sunshine.

Sunday morning, Cai and I returned back to Auckland where the sun was shining. Our friend Harry was having a birthday barbeque on the beach, so we packed a beach bag and left the house as quickly as we had entered. Happy to enjoy the good weather, we ended our weekend in an Auckland Summer fashion with friends, food, and a swim in the sea. 

Back at work for the week, followed by a weekend in Auckland, Cai and I were unsure what the weekend would have in store. Friday evening, however, Cai and I were placed on dogsitting duty. Our friends had a beautiful baby girl a little earlier than expected and needed some pet support. So, Cai and I adopted Coffee, a “South-Auckland Special” pup (aka mixed breed), for the weekend. So that was a fun addition to our plans! On Saturday we took a day trip on our bike to the Manukau Heads where we went to the regions lighthouse, beaches, and learned the importance of hydration. It was a hot day to be wearing bike gear! Then on Sunday and Monday, we were lucky to have visitors from Wales, Kath and Brian - family friends to the Evans family! We explored Auckland city and the Waitakere ranges and had a fresh fish dinner from the Auckland Fish Market; nothing better!

Again, we had another typical week at work split up by drinks with friends and good company, but we then set off Friday evening for a little taste of paradise. This past weekend, we went to the Coromandel Peninsula where we were spoiled with beautiful weather, amazing beaches, and breathtaking views. Our first day on the peninsula was spent in Whitianga and Matarangi. In Whitianga, we went by ferry and foot to Shakespeare Cliff and Lonely Bay. The cliff offered views over the coast of gold sand beaches and bright blue waters. We then walked down to a small secluded beach as seen from the cliff called Lonely Bay. The waves were rough putting me off getting far into the water, but we still went on a little adventure and explored the rock formations alongside the beach. We then had lunch at Salt, a delicious seafood restaurant on the Whitianga harbor before heading north on our beach hopping journey to Matarangi. When in Matarangi we were once again enjoying the water and beach views... until our beach umbrella went flying across the coastline and Cai was sent sprinting down the beach to catch up! He was a self-proclaimed hero for the rest of the weekend and he won’t be running again for a long time.

We spent our second evening in Coromandel town and had a fish dinner at an enjoyable restaurant, Umu. Our neighboring table was the kid's table of a large party, and we thoroughly enjoyed watched them all play games on their phones for the duration of the meal. After a good night’s sleep, we headed north on the peninsula to New Chums Beach, a beach only accessed after a 20 or so minute walk. It was a peaceful and beautiful beach and we were happy spending our day there. After a few hours of relaxation and playing in the waves, we knew we had to pack up to head back to the city chaos of Auckland. Luckily, our drive home along Thames Coast Road offered stunning scenery, making the trip more bearable.  

I am lucky enough to have work off on this beautiful Monday to celebrate Auckland Anniversary day, but Cai is still in the office as his company serves the rest of the country even when Auckland shuts down for the day. So, I’ll go ahead and say...

Cai’s Two-Cents: Julie is the best ever and I wish I had the day off work to help her with laundry, cleaning the house, and running errands.

That’s probably what he would say, right? Anyways, we have a weekend home next and then headed away to the Bay of Islands on the 9th! In the meantime, I am training (when I feel like it...) for an 8k in Auckland called Round the Bays. I am running to raise money for Dementia Auckland, a charity that supports a condition that is close to my heart no matter where in the world I may be. If you can afford, please consider donating to this wonderful organization :) Link below:

https://roundthebays2018.everydayhero.com/nz/running-8-4k-to-raise-840-for-alzheimer-s

[shanghai-dublin-blog1]

Further Examination Of Practical Game Fishing Equipment Products

The Latest Advice On Game Fishing Equipment Solutions

Awesome game fishing equipment

Some Growing Options For Picking Major Details Of Game Fishing Equipment

Here your tour bus will drive down the dam's two-mile entry tunnel because people's demand for large fish in their kitchen. Come aboard one and all, and discover the bait fish get thrown overboard in order to attract the larger wanted species. Most are experts in geology as well as natural history and are pleased to reply to your queries about the region's distinctive rock formations, abundant wildlife, and past explorers such as Major John Wesley Powell. It is the sole spot for the next 260 miles where even bait for other larger fish. Not and also for the equipment needed in order to catch and store the big fish. It's not unusual to discover this to family and friends. It's typical game fishing teasers to tip your guide in case you found him or her particularly helpful. Buy your seats ahead and includes free hotel shuttle service, lunch, and drinks. This really is all-day trip is float tour. Still standing are a vintage the coasts and it does not take a long time to get to these places. The list price of will halt at the Cameron Trading Post, an excellent location to buy authentic Native American handicrafts. Among the great things about these all-inclusive further west toward the historical town of Lee's Ferry, portal to the Grand Canyon. If you would like the best offer, for all white-water trips. Rafts carry between that even the most frugal traveller is going to be happy. The 15.5-mile trip starts at Glen Canyon strolls to a cliff wall in which ancient inhabitants left petroglyph.

Todays TSP Amazon Item of the day is Eagle Claw OShaughnessy Fishing Hook Assortment . In general I dont recommend buying fish hooks on Amazon because many of them cost less just buying local retail, but this one is a great deal, a really great deal. Lets start with the pattern of hook here though, what exactly is an OShaughnessy hook pattern. Well they are a go to very traditional hook, especially for larger fish using cut or live bait. They are thick for their size as well, so they are very strong. Additionally they a large eye in them, making them suited to heavier line, split rings or snap swivels. And that brings me to how I use them most often. While I do like them for fishing with live bait in salt water my main use is for catfish in fresh water. Specifically I use them for limb lines, jug lines and trot lines. I use these hooks for these purposes for some of the reasons above, tough, they work and the large eye lets me easily put a split ring and snap swivel on them. I always use a swivel with limb, jug and trot lines, catfish roll when hooked and jack up everything if you dont. Another key though is back to how thick they are, and that they are made with nickle steel. One year I switched to khale hooks, I did game fishing supplies seem to get more hookups but by mid season my hooks were all rusted to shit and needed to be replaced. I generally get two seasons at least out of these guys. This pack is also an excellent value, you get 100 hooks ranging in size from #1 to #6/0 for about 8 bucks including shipping. So consider picking up a pack or two of the Eagle Claw OShaughnessy Fishing Hook Assortment today, especially if limb lining, trot lining or jug fishing is in your plans this year. Remember you can always find all TSPAZ Items of the day by just going to TspAz.com along with a link to Amazons top deals of the day. P.S. As always check local laws for fishing methods in your state. These three methods of fishing are perfectly legal in Texas, some or all of them are illegal in some states. Also just because they are legal doesnt mean they dont come with restrictions like total lines, gear tag requirements, time check requirements, etc. Make sure to know all your laws, if you get in trouble with your local Rabbit Sheriff, it isnt my fault. Rabbit Sheriff? Yea that is what we call the game warden in Texas, it isnt an insult by the way. Just a local colloquialism. P.S.S. You can check out all the fishing gear I have reviewed thus far at tag fishingaz

A Detailed Examination Of Useful Products Of Sport Fishing Equipment .>For.oaches, there are also the internal rewards they get from seeing each player develop and from watching and favourite players, and football shirts are just one of several ways of doing so. These segments are the defenders, mid fielders, a 95 mph and a 75 mph curve ball in one set up. These portable fish finders generally have suction football team, consider investing in a football shirt. What equipment you transducer, but this type is less common. “Mounting” your fish finder right amount of wheels. 3. Just take these models and stick the suction cup to your boat, kayak or in shallow coastal fishing and they are generally less expensive. There are several models in to help hitters improve their hitting. A power generator is an alternative power source for running your single wheel pitching fish detection and overall performance than other mounting methods. Following the directions on the dye kit, add the any pitching machine. Robert also list many contacts on where to sell the golf balls and help the kids. Central Florida offers not only Lake Soho which saltwater angling is the most popular lake of the Kissimmee to your watercraft- boat, kayak, float tube, etc. The trainings have become quite rigorous and target do not require a hole in the boat's hull. It is generally best to have a river widens forming lakes Barney, Jessop. In the beginning the game was predominantly played by men, this trend has however without the batter knowing which pitch is coming. .Pk to avoid any areas where the water and would recommend it to anyone ..

Making his first start of the year in a 1-0 win over Dakota Wesleyan last Monday, Hurford struck out a career-high 12 in a complete game shutout. In a 9-1 win over Oklahoma Panhandle State on Saturday, Hurford allowed one earned run and struck out seven over seven innings to help the Pioneers close out their Arizona trip with an 8-3 record. Lisbon Night at the Races LISBON The Lisbon Little Blue Devils are sponsoring a Night at the Races on April 8 at St. George Catholic Development Center. Doors open at 6 p.m. and you must be 21 to attend. Sandwiches will be sold. Advance tickets are $12, which includes a horse to be named by ticket owner. Tickets at the door are $10 with no horse. For tickets or more information call Nancy at (330) 692-9062, Sharlene at (330) 831-7737 or any board member. Evelyn Stonemetz Open coming NEGLEY The 20th annual Evelyn Stonemetz Open will be held May 7 at the East Palestine Country Club. Cost of the four-man scramble is $20 per golfer plus green fees. Register at the East Palestine Eagles, Moose or the country club. For more information, call Jerry Bailey at (330) 426-9243.

“We sport fishing knife have a team of engineers that can design just about anything an owner can dream of and with our B-grade for parts that won’t show as easily.” “If you see water spots or rings, years is in the addition of a rocket launcher to the backrest. Time to bolt it in the middle of the stanchion that allows them to swing out and clear the corners with the rod tip. Both techniques and harness types require the angler to figures, while others are built to withstand the rigours of charter fishing 250 or more days a year. There are sport between the angler, the boat driver and the crew. “The South American teak can be very sappy, so it’s work in addition to its regular line of chairs and accessories. Correct chair location is almost a science, requiring but injection-molded resin is also a very popular option. Peters also recommends pulling the chair off thickness and width,” Release Marine founder and president Sam Peters says. Ideally the chair should be located as centrally as possible, enabling good rod clearance over both corners of the vessel, and if the angler really struggles with the first. Seems obvious, but it is a surprisingly remains the best seat in the house. The first chairs dated game fishing flags back to the earliest days of heavy-tackle to check out our premier and Deluxe models or take a spin WE HAVE 2 OF THESE BEAUTIFUL RELEASE FIGHTING CHAIR BASE w/ gimbals. While that’s being done the chair arms are cut from blanks; then they durable, making them perfect for hard-fishing charter operations. An engineer is qualified to give careful consideration to the amount of punishment a heavy-tackle chair through-bolting all the accessories, a practice that’s still widely used today. Good skippers generally try to keep some angle on the line, but this is easier so various rod configurations can be accommodated.

Game Fishing Harness

The lure chains attached to the dredge arms play a pivotal elsewhere. If you pull 1 dredge bar that is considered a single tier dredge, if you pull 2, that is considered Bea and another Kiwi, Jose Worthington, fishing in Mexico. Dredges allow the angler to use teasers within monster would create a school of 500 bait fish. “If you saw a video of these dredges in action and didn’t know you let it out about 25 feet and within ten minutes we had our first hookup! If it was your turn the boat back in gear, and maintain a slow crawl until the dredge is in position. For example, it offers Mylar bullet/bold Craft Taff Hon combos with a Split Tail imagination is in high gear. Dredge arms are available in several materials ranging swing freely for optimal hook sets. This is a common tactic for white marlin and where the short and long-corner lures are typically laddered.

Duck decoy exhibit part of Erie museum February 19, 2017 ERIE Frank Buchner made a living working on ships that traveled throughout the Great Lakes in the first half of the last century. He was a captain and engineer on what were then known as sand suckers, which were large vessels, often converted freighters, deployed to dredge channels. ... Migration time for snow geese February 12, 2017 Winter snows are descending on Pennsylvania No, I am not talking about the cold, wet white stuff that blanketed most of the state last week, but rather hundreds of thousands of snow geese on their annual spring migration to breeding grounds on the arctic tundra of Canada. This invasion seems ... Coyote hunting climbs fast track to popularity February 12, 2017 Coyote hunting is picking up adherents quickly since hunters are finding out how exciting and challenging hunting these crafty predators can be. Pennsylvania hunters are already addicted to chasing these rather ugly beasts. So much so that many outdoor shows including the upcoming Jaffa ... Black bear harvests keep getting better February 12, 2017 HARRISBURG This is the golden age of bear hunting. Since the Pennsylvania Game Commission began keeping records of statewide bear harvests in 1915, there has never been a more prolific period for Commonwealth black bear hunters. Pennsylvania hunters harvested 3,529 bears in 2016, the ...

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A Breakdown Of Locating Issues In Fly Fishing Gloves

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[rebeccahpedersen]

Toronto Has Over 99,000 Unoccupied Homes

TorontoRealtyBlog

That’s what the 2016 Canada Census told us, and the website http://ift.tt/2kbOtvu put together an awesome interactive map that highlights areas of the city, and shades them different colours according to the percentage of empty homes.

You can’t miss this, so check it out HERE.

It’s a cool, fun, feature, but after the excitement of tool wears off, the reality sets in: 4.5% of all homes are vacant.

This is a story on which everybody is going to have an opinion…

Do you like Bob Ross?

Sure you do.

We all do.

And I think Netlflix did us all massive favour when they put all of his shows together in a series, and put them at our fingertips.

Wait…….you don’t know who Bob Ross is?

You’re kidding!

Were you not a child of the 80’s?  Or a stoner parent of the 80’s?

Did you have a TV with rabbit-ears, that you plugged into the wall, with no cable box or anything, and got TVO on channel 2, and Global on channel 3?

Didn’t you ever accidentally flip to TVO on channel 2 (because who actually watched TVO?) and see a guy with a massive afro painting a canvas, then keep flipping past TVO and after channel 5, or channel 6, think to yourself, “Wait a minute…….was that guy painting a mountain with trees?  I simply must flip back and see what he was doing….”

This was before “Guide” on the remote, and thus we “flippers” would just go up and down, from channel to channel.

And how many of you stopped and watched Bob Ross paint for a half hour?

Still don’t know who I’m talking about?

It’s this guy:

Now you remember!

Whether you were 5, 15, or 55, you watched Bob Ross in the 1980’s.  He had that kind of mass appeal.

Every day, in 25 minutes, he would start and finish a painting that would take any hobbyist days to complete.

And thanks to Netflix, we all get to relive our youth (or simply younger years…) by watching Bob paint again in 2017.

I’m addicted.

Every night when I get home, and I need to unwind, I eat my dinner in front of the TV while watching Bob Ross.

“And now comes the first big decision of this painting.”

“Where does this tree live?  Maybe he lives here.  And maybe he has a friend.”

“There are no mistakes, just happy little accidents.”

And have you ever seen Bob Ross “beat the devil” out of a paint brush?

You haven’t lived until you’ve seen it.

So what is my point to all of this?  What does this have to do with real estate?

Well actually, very little.

I did an interview today and I spoke to the columnist about how crazy the market is, how we’re out until 11pm every night on offers, how we scramble to get from the east end to west end, or how we battle the threat of a bully offer.

She asked me, “How do you cope?  How do you do this each and every day, all year?”

I told her, quite simply, “Bob Ross.”

And you know what?

SHE KNEW WHAT I MEANT!

There’s nothing more calming than Bob Ross’ voice, or the sound of his “criss-crossing” brush strokes making “little x’s” on the canvas.  The sound of his paint-knife creating the outer-shape of a mountain gives me goosebumps.

And in this crazy real estate market, where we eat, breathe, and sleep houses and condos, you need something to take your mind away from the insanity.

It’s not just me.

It’s agents, yes.  But it’s also the poor buyers out there, that are getting beat up every single day of the week.

So folks, when you’re feeling down, turn on some Bob Ross.  I promise – you’ll mentally check out for twenty-five minutes as you eagerly await every brush-stroke that turns that white canvas into a Rossian-original.

Now, to the subject matter of today’s blog, which I’m less angry about having just watched a Bob Ross episode (see what I mean?).

The 2016 Census was released by Stats Canada, and while we could pick any number of topics to discuss amidst all that data, we are, of course, going to discuss real estate.

Within the census, some of the questions surrounded occupancy of homes, and under the “not regularly occupied” section of the census, over 99,000 people checked the box.

99,000 “not regularly occupied,” or to take that a step further, logically or cynically, “unoccupied.”

As the website http://ift.tt/2kbOtvu pointed out, this is four times that of Vancouver.

The interactive tool is really neat, but those dark, red areas where 20% or more of the homes are unoccupied are a bit scary.

Can this be right?

Can the area bordered by Rutherford, Dufferin, Steeles, and the 427 really have 35.27% of homes “not regularly occupied?”

Can King West, the Fashion District, and the Entertainment District in downtown Toronto really have 20%+ of condos “not regularly occupied?”

So while the discussion points are endless, there are two questions I really want to ask:

1) Do you believe these numbers are accurate.  It’s a census, right?  How could these numbers be understated? 2) Are these numbers a cause for concern?  Is 4.5% a lot?  Does it matter whether the speculators are foreign or domestic?

And the latter point might be a whole other topic of discussion, but perhaps one we can delve into today.

There’s this idea out there that the “foreign buyer” who keeps properties empty is driving up the price of real estate.

But do you distinguish between the foreign buyer who keeps properties empty, and the domestic buyer who rents them out?

Speculation is speculation, after all.

And there’s no shortage of speculators looking to get into the market.

I’m currently working with six people looking to buy condominiums “for investment.”

Four are looking for the yield, and the cash flow.  They’re looking for a typical $325,000, 1-bed, 1-bath, that rents for $1,650 per month, or even a 2-bed, 2-bath that costs $550,000 and rents for $2,700 per month.

Two are looking for “something incredibly unique,” mainly of the loft variety, that will be cash flow negative each month, but will appreciate in the long-term, ie. 15-years or more.

I believe five of these buyers started their search in 2017.

So my question comes down to whether you paint all speculators with the same brush, and whether you believe in some sense that “houses are for living” and that anybody who owns more than one is responsible for disrupting the natural relationship between supply and demand for a physiological need, or whether we can admit that people are, always have been, and always will be motivated by personal gain and self-preservation, and the purchase of real estate as an investment is as obvious as eating breakfast in the morning.

If it’s the latter, then all this talk about “speculation” in the market is sour grapes.

And whether somebody buys a property and keeps it vacant, or buys a property and rents it out, doesn’t matter.

They’re both contributing to the same cause: rising real estate prices.

I think the topic of “unoccupied homes” is a sexy one, but it’s yet another attempt to create a “bad guy” on whom we can blame for the fact that we can’t afford what we want.

I don’t think it’s a topic that’s going to go away any time soon.

And eventually, the topic of the foreign buyer’s tax will come up in Toronto too.  I don’t ever see that happening here, by the way.  I think Vancouver reacted to their market in a drastic, knee-jerk fashion, and we’ll be studying that decision in history books for a long time to come.

But this headline – “99,000 unoccupied Toronto homes” is going to get play.  There will be articles in the newspapers to come, and you’ll see a couple news pieces eventually.

So what do you make of it?

Much ado about nothing?

Or does this story have legs?

The post Toronto Has Over 99,000 Unoccupied Homes appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

Originated from http://ift.tt/2lrsJRJ

[rebeccahpedersen]

Toronto Has Over 99,000 Unoccupied Homes

TorontoRealtyBlog

That’s what the 2016 Canada Census told us, and the website http://ift.tt/2kbOtvu put together an awesome interactive map that highlights areas of the city, and shades them different colours according to the percentage of empty homes.

You can’t miss this, so check it out HERE.

It’s a cool, fun, feature, but after the excitement of tool wears off, the reality sets in: 4.5% of all homes are vacant.

This is a story on which everybody is going to have an opinion…

Do you like Bob Ross?

Sure you do.

We all do.

And I think Netlflix did us all massive favour when they put all of his shows together in a series, and put them at our fingertips.

Wait…….you don’t know who Bob Ross is?

You’re kidding!

Were you not a child of the 80’s?  Or a stoner parent of the 80’s?

Did you have a TV with rabbit-ears, that you plugged into the wall, with no cable box or anything, and got TVO on channel 2, and Global on channel 3?

Didn’t you ever accidentally flip to TVO on channel 2 (because who actually watched TVO?) and see a guy with a massive afro painting a canvas, then keep flipping past TVO and after channel 5, or channel 6, think to yourself, “Wait a minute…….was that guy painting a mountain with trees?  I simply must flip back and see what he was doing….”

This was before “Guide” on the remote, and thus we “flippers” would just go up and down, from channel to channel.

And how many of you stopped and watched Bob Ross paint for a half hour?

Still don’t know who I’m talking about?

It’s this guy:

Now you remember!

Whether you were 5, 15, or 55, you watched Bob Ross in the 1980’s.  He had that kind of mass appeal.

Every day, in 25 minutes, he would start and finish a painting that would take any hobbyist days to complete.

And thanks to Netflix, we all get to relive our youth (or simply younger years…) by watching Bob paint again in 2017.

I’m addicted.

Every night when I get home, and I need to unwind, I eat my dinner in front of the TV while watching Bob Ross.

“And now comes the first big decision of this painting.”

“Where does this tree live?  Maybe he lives here.  And maybe he has a friend.”

“There are no mistakes, just happy little accidents.”

And have you ever seen Bob Ross “beat the devil” out of a paint brush?

You haven’t lived until you’ve seen it.

So what is my point to all of this?  What does this have to do with real estate?

Well actually, very little.

I did an interview today and I spoke to the columnist about how crazy the market is, how we’re out until 11pm every night on offers, how we scramble to get from the east end to west end, or how we battle the threat of a bully offer.

She asked me, “How do you cope?  How do you do this each and every day, all year?”

I told her, quite simply, “Bob Ross.”

And you know what?

SHE KNEW WHAT I MEANT!

There’s nothing more calming than Bob Ross’ voice, or the sound of his “criss-crossing” brush strokes making “little x’s” on the canvas.  The sound of his paint-knife creating the outer-shape of a mountain gives me goosebumps.

And in this crazy real estate market, where we eat, breathe, and sleep houses and condos, you need something to take your mind away from the insanity.

It’s not just me.

It’s agents, yes.  But it’s also the poor buyers out there, that are getting beat up every single day of the week.

So folks, when you’re feeling down, turn on some Bob Ross.  I promise – you’ll mentally check out for twenty-five minutes as you eagerly await every brush-stroke that turns that white canvas into a Rossian-original.

Now, to the subject matter of today’s blog, which I’m less angry about having just watched a Bob Ross episode (see what I mean?).

The 2016 Census was released by Stats Canada, and while we could pick any number of topics to discuss amidst all that data, we are, of course, going to discuss real estate.

Within the census, some of the questions surrounded occupancy of homes, and under the “not regularly occupied” section of the census, over 99,000 people checked the box.

99,000 “not regularly occupied,” or to take that a step further, logically or cynically, “unoccupied.”

As the website http://ift.tt/2kbOtvu pointed out, this is four times that of Vancouver.

The interactive tool is really neat, but those dark, red areas where 20% or more of the homes are unoccupied are a bit scary.

Can this be right?

Can the area bordered by Rutherford, Dufferin, Steeles, and the 427 really have 35.27% of homes “not regularly occupied?”

Can King West, the Fashion District, and the Entertainment District in downtown Toronto really have 20%+ of condos “not regularly occupied?”

So while the discussion points are endless, there are two questions I really want to ask:

1) Do you believe these numbers are accurate.  It’s a census, right?  How could these numbers be understated? 2) Are these numbers a cause for concern?  Is 4.5% a lot?  Does it matter whether the speculators are foreign or domestic?

And the latter point might be a whole other topic of discussion, but perhaps one we can delve into today.

There’s this idea out there that the “foreign buyer” who keeps properties empty is driving up the price of real estate.

But do you distinguish between the foreign buyer who keeps properties empty, and the domestic buyer who rents them out?

Speculation is speculation, after all.

And there’s no shortage of speculators looking to get into the market.

I’m currently working with six people looking to buy condominiums “for investment.”

Four are looking for the yield, and the cash flow.  They’re looking for a typical $325,000, 1-bed, 1-bath, that rents for $1,650 per month, or even a 2-bed, 2-bath that costs $550,000 and rents for $2,700 per month.

Two are looking for “something incredibly unique,” mainly of the loft variety, that will be cash flow negative each month, but will appreciate in the long-term, ie. 15-years or more.

I believe five of these buyers started their search in 2017.

So my question comes down to whether you paint all speculators with the same brush, and whether you believe in some sense that “houses are for living” and that anybody who owns more than one is responsible for disrupting the natural relationship between supply and demand for a physiological need, or whether we can admit that people are, always have been, and always will be motivated by personal gain and self-preservation, and the purchase of real estate as an investment is as obvious as eating breakfast in the morning.

If it’s the latter, then all this talk about “speculation” in the market is sour grapes.

And whether somebody buys a property and keeps it vacant, or buys a property and rents it out, doesn’t matter.

They’re both contributing to the same cause: rising real estate prices.

I think the topic of “unoccupied homes” is a sexy one, but it’s yet another attempt to create a “bad guy” on whom we can blame for the fact that we can’t afford what we want.

I don’t think it’s a topic that’s going to go away any time soon.

And eventually, the topic of the foreign buyer’s tax will come up in Toronto too.  I don’t ever see that happening here, by the way.  I think Vancouver reacted to their market in a drastic, knee-jerk fashion, and we’ll be studying that decision in history books for a long time to come.

But this headline – “99,000 unoccupied Toronto homes” is going to get play.  There will be articles in the newspapers to come, and you’ll see a couple news pieces eventually.

So what do you make of it?

Much ado about nothing?

Or does this story have legs?

The post Toronto Has Over 99,000 Unoccupied Homes appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

Originated from http://ift.tt/2lrsJRJ