#I can always tell when I’m about to start by how antisocial I wanna be

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

Maybe tmi: but I become the most antisocial exhausted human being the week before my period and I’m feeling that energy HEAVY today 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[seireitonin]

Grlll imma need some moreJeff content. Idk what exactly but I need it, maybe some romantic/ normal headcannons. Whateva u do I will rlly appreciate it and love it

Omg my first boyfriend ever, Jeff!!!! I’m starting to love him all over again he’s so nostalgic! Anyway in no specific order here are more hcs for him! I used Nina as an example of how he views/ thinks of being in relationships (once again I hc Nina as black)

Jeff is 30 years old

Him and Toby were born the same year but Jeff is a little older

Despite what everybody thinks Jeff is capable of love

But his love isn’t normal or kind

His love is intense obsession and admiration in a way

For example in his own way he really did love Nina

But he’s just such a bad person that he couldn’t or rather refused to properly show it

He admired the was she threw her life away for him he admired the way she was willing to let him run her life for so many years

He was obsessed with her in his own way, the way she worshiped him making him feel like he was above everyone

Nina left him after coming to her senses though, and he constantly plots on how to break her down and get her back, despite being with Toby now

He is very protective over the people he cares about though

Willing to kill anyone who even makes them feel slightly bad

His obsession will make him very possessive

Why would you need anyone but him anyway? He’s literally Gods gift to Earth

You should be happy he loves you this much

He’s very smart with his words and actions

He’s very calculating and cunning

Part of this manipulation to make people stay is because he actually does crave genuine connection in his own way

He just doesn’t know how to do that

He’s always been rude, antisocial, blunt and self serving

All that being worse now that he’s a murderer

He can’t ever change. Not that he wants to

So instead of trying to change he’ll just use his smarts and tactics

He loves the way he is why should he have to change for anyone?

He still thinks of Nina even though he won’t ever admit it

He remembers the nights he’d hold her close and he’d feel her warmth

He remembers how he’d get her small things for her birthday and how her face would light up, shocked that he even remembered

“Hey, got you something”

He throws it towards her

“Jeff! Brass knuckle necklaces?! I love them! How’d you get these!”

“Killed their original owner. You’re welcome. You don’t know how hard it is to find people with shitty taste like yours.”

Nina doesn’t even care about the insult as she excitedly tries on her new jewelry

He remembered how they’d encourage each other toxic and self destructive self serving behaviors

“Wanna rob that Hot Topic?”

“Yes!!!”

“Okay let’s go stab someone so the rest run and we can raid the place.”

“Yay! I love you!”

“I love me too”

He remembers how they were partners in crime together

He misses her smile and bubbly personality

He remembers how Nina would do what he said because they loved each other the same way

Deep obsessive admiration and impulsivity

He remembered when they kissed for the first time

It was rare that he showed affection to her or touched her at all but when they did it solidified in his mind that she was given to him by God himself. He deserved her. She was made for him.

He’d never felt so right. He never thought anyone would make him feel the way she did. She’s perfect to him. Even though he’d never say that. Can’t have her thinking that they’re on the same level

Some nights he’d just stare at her while she slept, touching her skin that felt just like his. Even leaving soft, bloody kisses on it.

He’d only do this when she slept, not wanting her to see him vulnerable or affectionate at all.

“So beautiful. Just like me. Just the way I made you.” He’d say as he traced the permanent smile on her cheeks and her burned dark golden brown skin

God he hates Toby for taking that away from him

Nina and Jeff were perfect together in his eyes

He hates Toby for telling her different and showing her stupid healthy love

Toby took away Nina, Jeff’s God given right.

He should’ve killed Toby when he had the chance

Nina started becoming more “boring” the moment they started talking with each other

Then one day she fought Jeff and left him completely

He should’ve killed Nina too

How could she do that to him? She was his in every sense of the word

He made her

Made her to be just like him

But Toby told her that was “manipulation” and took her from him

He hates them both and is plotting revenge every day

He was actually really close with Toby

So he feels betrayed by 2 people he cared about

His face is severely infected because every time his scars start to heal or close, he opens them right back up

They only get more beautiful each time in his eyes

His hair is long and goes to his mid back

It’s tangled and messy and unkept

Listens to metal music a lot

Actually gets some ideas about how to kill from metal music’s lyrics

Knows Liu is alive

Has mixed feelings about it

On one hand, he loves and misses him

On the other he sees Liu as a failed job of his and finds it insulting that he’s still alive

So he just avoids him until he can’t anymore

“Hey brother, remember me?”

“How could I forget the only person who I failed to kill?”

“You’re a piece of shit, Jeff”

“You’re making me blush, Liu”

They still banter and talk to each other like brothers

They both missed it

They’re the only family they have left

So both hesitate to kill each other

That doesn’t stop them from beating each other up though

Jeff is scared of fire, even though he will never admit it

His skin has healed pretty well over the years

But it’s still not super smooth

Is good friends with Clockwork

They talk shit about Toby and Nina

Who would’ve thought their exes would be together?

Wants her help getting revenge, but Clockwork doesn’t want to hurt Toby

Jeff calls her weak for it

Jeff likes her company a lot, despite that

Part of him wouldn’t mind being with her

She’s brutal, strong, street smart, and pretty

He sees a lot of himself in her and that’s probably why he likes her so much

There’s no one Jeff loves more than himself

Once you get used to him Jeff can actually be a pretty cool friend

He loves to smoke and drink

Used to smoke with Toby before everything happened

Offensive and dark humor

Which is why him and LJ get along sometimes

Jeff is actually extremely loyal

If Nina stayed he would’ve been by her side forever

He feels stupid for caring about her and being so obsessed with her and admiring her

Jeff is 6’2

He smells like blood and beer

He’s pretty skinny

His eyes are dark blue like an ocean which would be pretty in a normal context but on him it’s pretty unsettling

His hips are always swollen but also thinned out because of the permanent smile stretching them outwards so it’s uncomfortable to look at

Jeff’s wardrobe is very simple

Plain black or white shirts, black pants and a random hoodie

Big hands perfect for delivering hard hits to victims and the other pastas he fights

If you were ever gonna be with him you have to accept that what you want and your feelings come second to his

Jeff isn’t a good person by any means

But but he doesn’t care

He knew he was a bad person for years and he’s done hiding it or trying to change

[greenwitchflora]

Library crush | spencer reid x reader

Spencer had met y/n at his local library seven months ago. He noticed you helping kids get the books they were looking for, at first he didn’t care because you were just doing your job as a librarian. but then he started noticing how you would always help the kids with the words they couldn’t understand. he started noticing smaller things about you too, how you would always sit crocheting or knitting something at the counter, the way you would giggle quietly while reading something funny or cute in your books or how your lips pursed and your eyebrows furrowed when you read about the frustrating things the main characters would do. One day Spencer finally worked up the courage to talk to you, he was asking where a certain book on philosophy was. He knew exactly where to find it, of course he did! He had been going to this library for years, but he just had to talk to you. You had smiled and put down your project and walked him over to the philosophy section and carefully grabbed the book off its shelf before handing it to him. “If there’s ever anything else you need help with you know where to find me!” you had said cheerfully before walking back to the counter. After that he would find any excuse to talk to you. After he came back from long cases he would make sure to go to the library the very next day so he could see you. You would always greet him with a smile and say his name cheerfully, “Spencer! It’s been a while, I’m so glad you’re back!” Eventually after three months the short greetings would turn into long conversations about your respective days. He started feeling more comfterble around you and would ramble about the books he read. He was rambling about psycology one day, he interrupted himself and quickly apologized. “Why did you stop?” you asked, “oh, I thought you weren’t listening.” he said. You looked down at your project and then looked back up at him, “No! I just focus better on what you’re saying when I’m doing something with my hands.” you responded. “you’re not bothered or annoyed by my rambling?” he asked. “No, I love when you go off on your tangeants! It’s like everytime we talk I learn something new!” You said cheerfully. He blushed slightly then smiled before he continued his speech. Your interactions weren’t just listening to him talk though, you would often bring up random theories and facts about whatever book you were reading. Sometimes he would stay until closing hours and just talk to you, you would text while he was away on long cases. Eventually his coworkers started noticing how he would smile at his phone or how he would decline going out with them to go to the library.

“Hey Reid do you wanna go to the bar with us after work?” Morgan asked, “No I’m going to the library.” 

“Okay, what’s going on with him? He’s always been antisocial but this is the twelfth time he’s blown us off in the past seven months!” Emily said. “Maybe pretty boy has a girlfriend.” Garcia said while sipping her coffee. “What? No way” Morgan responded. “Think about it, he’s always running off to the ‘library’ whenever he can or smiling at his phone.” Garcia said. “The library thing could be a cover.” Emily responded. “Or he’s meeting someone there!” JJ said. “Only one way to find out.” Morgan said while grabbing his coat. “Well come on! Let’s follow pretty boy and see what he’s up to!”

The library, 19:30pm:

“I see him! He’s talking and laughing with some girl!” Garcia said. “SHH, we need to be quiet or he’ll know we’re here!” Emily said in a whisper scream. 

in the break room the next day:

“Well now we know what he’s been up to for the past seven months.” Emily said. “Why didn’t he tell us he had a girlfriend?” Morgan asked. “They might not be dating.” JJ said before taking a bite of her sandwich. “Oh come on did you see the way he looked at her! That was a look of love.” Morgan said. “Maybe he just hasn’t told her yet!” Garcia said. “What are you guys talking about?” Spencer questioned while entering the kitchen to make his third cup of coffee for the day.

__________

It’s not done but this will be a series posted on Ao3! THIS IS A VERY ROUGH DRAFT!!

[maroonmagic]

He Just Can’t Help It

cw:timmy being horny,cursing,mentions of masturbation,mentions of wet dreams, dirty talk. all characters are aged up and of age

to the untrained eye,most people would assume that Timmy has absolutely no respect for you when in all actuality,he has nothing BUT respect for you,you just also make him so horny he forgets to be normal also

and listen,listen! it’s not his fault,you’re the first woman (besides wanda or his mother)to speak to him with slight affection since Trixie. and the only reason that Danny and Jimmy let him do the things he does is because they know he respects you,more than he does them.

now granted if anyone else heard the way Timmy spoke to you they’d be ready to knock his head off his shoulders

“oh come on y/n! just let me motorboat you this once and i promise i’ll stop asking for a week!”

Jimmy and Danny both rolled their eyes at Timmy’s recent antics as you shook your head yet again before leaving the lab,prefacing it with needing to look into a tip the team had received

and as soon as you were out the lab and out of earshot,Timmy let’s put a loud groan as he slammed his head into the table and groaned loudly again

the whole problem Timmy always had when it came to being face to face with you is that he fumbles,again it’s not his fault! you’re just so pretty and he can’t control his mouth sometimes

it’s not like he wants to be like this,he wants to be like Danny and actually be able to be around you and not make a fool of himself,he can’t just help the fact that he really,really, really wants to take you back to his room and make you squeal his name the way you do when he scares you

and anyone would think he’d be like this with other girls and they would think wrong,Timmy couldn’t give less than two fucks about other girls,not when there’s you. hell this man becomes antisocial when there’s other girls around,glaring at them from across the room,but as soon as you enter the room he becomes the brightest ray of sunshine

pulling you as close as he can to him on the couch while his mind just starts to roll through all the dirty thoughts he’s had about you in the last hour,taking the chance to whisper them in your ear while ignoring everyone else in the room

“do you wanna guess how many times i’ve thought about bending you over the kitchen counter while you make dinner? wonder how well you can remember a recipe while I knock around that pretty little brain of yours. always look so pretty flutterin’ around in there..”

he gets so annoyed when one of the other girls try and interject into your “conversation”,trying to pipe in and tell TImmy how’d he’d have so much more fun with her than he would with you,he glared at her

“did i fuckin’ ask? cause i honestly don’t remember asking a non fuckin factor about who’d i enjoy spending my time with,now go find Danny or Manny or someone and go give ‘em a blowie, huh?!”

he becomes so much more mouthy and stupid when you’re in your glasses,claiming you needed a break from your contacts while Jimmy chimed in about how it was always better to do one thing or another, Timmy didn’t know,all he knew was that he wanted one thing in his entire life in that moment

so later that evening,when you were sitting on the couch between him and Danny while in your comfy oversized shirt and shorts that he swore didn’t even deserve to be called such,he just let his mouth take control

“can i jack off over your face and cum on your glasses?”

soda sprayed out of Danny’s nose at Timmy’s boldness and you just stared at him wide eyed and mouth slightly agape,that’s when Timmy took the second shot

“close your mouth before i stick something in it”

“Dude!”

Danny yelled as he stared at Timmy astonished and you quickly closed your mouth and your cheeks burned

“I um,I-i’m gonna go grab a snack.”

and you quickly got up and made your way to the kitchen while Timmy slid down in his seat and groaned into his hoody,Danny side eyed the younger man and shook his head

“Waaay too far this time my guy,I mean i know we were both thinking it but come on,have some decorum”

Timmy glared at him slightly before standing up

“well excuse the fuck outta me! we all can’t be mr.smooth fuckin talker like you Danny!”

before storming off for his room,pulling his hood up over his hat while he tried to get down the corridor and into his room as quickly as he could,he was almost there. just round the corner and-

THUD! OOF!

timmy runs smack dab right into you,knocking you flat on your butt,both of your eyes widened as you both realized who it was and timmy’s cheeks burned red as he scrambled to help you up while trying his best not to make a fool of himself more

“ahh,f-fuck,here come on get up. a-are you good? yeah? okay good”

he rushes through the entire thing because if he doesn’t get away from you quick enough he already knows he’s gonna say something stupid

and as soon as he’s in his room with the door slammed shut,he’s sliding down the door with his head in his hands right before groaning shy and letting his head fall back against the door over and over again

“sweet fuckin goin there Timothy, ‘can i jack off over your face and cum on your glasses’ like who the actual hell asks that out loud”

he quietly reprimanded himself as he readied for bed,plopping down on his bed as he let out a yawn and a sigh before slowly falling asleep

and you would think this is where poor timmy would get some reprieve from his brain just making him think the most dirtiest and debauched things about you and yet again dear reader,you would be wrong

no at this point of him reaching REM sleep his mind is in overdrive,all of the dirty thoughts just hiding in the crevices in his mind come out of hiding and make themselves known,slamming themselves into the door of his dream world where he keeps his version of you hidden

the version he’s not afraid to speak to and tell all of his innocent thoughts to,the version he can be open and honest with and not worry about making a fool of himself in front of

that’s until the first thought slips through the door and slams right in,corrupting the soft warmth and plushness his perfect world currently held,every single thing the thought touches turns grimy and dirty

and the rest of the thoughts follow and now he’s left looking at their version of you,the one that’s always just so willing to let him touch you in anyway he wants,letting him pull you into him,under him

the version that sings his name just oh so sweetly it makes him tremble while you pull him into you more and more,closer and deeper and-

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

“no no no! fuck come on it was just about to get so good!”

the version of you looked up at him sadly while he whined and tried to cling to you before reality ripped him away and he was back and alone in his bedroom at headquarters

he groaned loudly as he punched the pillow next to him before slamming his hand down on his alarm and sitting up in his bed before pulling back his blankets

“are you fuckin serious universe… i’m 26 I shouldn’t still be having wet dreams!”

timmy grunted softly as he rose from his bed and headed to his bathroom to take care of his issue and get ready for the day,giving himself a pep talk about how he was going to be normal around you today and actually THINK before speaking

he nodded to himself some as he started down the corridor for the kitchen where you were making breakfast for everyone,this was his chance

“good mornin’ sweet tits! mind if i use a little of your milk for my coffee?”

fuck. hey,it’s not his fault

He just can’t help it

well done that was fun to write 😶 but hey,i had to give some insight for why timmy is the way he is,like yeah he’s horny but it’s only for you!

[caught-in-time]

Not tc related. Not a cry for help. Nothing I can put a label on. Just a desperate expression of my situation. If you don’t wanna hear about it, or specifically about grief, scroll past.

I don’t know where to start. I feel like my life is over.

I am so agonisingly lonely, it’s such a pervasive and constant burden that my brain refuses to work now.

Anytime I try and work anything out I go blank. I’ve always thought I was just an antisocial introvert, but I’ve learned the hard way that unbearable loneliness destroys the mind indiscriminately. It destroys logic. It destroys faith. Security. It has destroyed my identity. I want nothing but to stop existing.

Just in time for exams. I don’t know what’s happened to me. I can’t handle anything anymore and nobody I talk to seems to be hearing that.

And I am still so painfully longing for him. So painfully aware that I am about to mark the end of what i so naively thought would be the best years of my life so far, with a devastating disappointment that says nothing about the joy he’s brought me, nothing about the curiosity he inspired in me.

Teachers keep telling me I’m not going go fail. But I have already failed in a much greater, more terrifying sense. I have lost myself and failed to find people who could help bring me back before i stopped recognising myself. I have failed to maintain the only thing I ever had to offer; my brain. It is shutting down now. It won’t listen to me. It won’t let me get out of bed. It won’t listen to reality. It wants to self destruct. I am so stuck and so so scared, the further I get away from who I always thought I was, the less I care about myself - or whatever it is I’ve turned into - and yet the more I fear everything.

I am locked in a driverless car, and the roads I am on, I have never seen before. Fog hangs over everything, and there is not a single person in sight.

My family are only a source of mockery and criticism now. I am only able to post this because I have no respect for myself anymore. I have no desire to preserve a stable reputation that is now nothing but an illusion. The strings are seconds from snapping.

The mirror is only a humiliating reminder of how low I’ve stooped. My mum’s empty side of the bed, mattress dips healed over and bedside table empty save for a box of her ashes, only a reminder that the constant pain I feel will never be understood by another human, ever again.

I relate to the ashes. Unspeaking, unmoving, unfeeling physical remains of a life once so full of exuberance, empathy and curiosity.

Please don’t report this post or try and shut me up, I feel I am dying because i have been too quiet for too long.

I’m not looking for sympathy, I just need something to change, so I will try my only remaining option, to externalise this agony through words. If this gets taken down, I know I truly have no voice anymore.

And before anyone says it, I fucking know I need to seek help, but I’ve exhausted the UK mental health services. It is not a difficult thing to do. Really, truly, nobody cares. Not even when they are paid to do exactly that.

[stellahaze135]

Happy Pride y’all!

Have some more Resi poly goodness in honor of the occasion from your friendly neighborhood gender-fluid aromantic asexual (non sex repulsed) who’s few turn ons happen to be severely damaged superpowered badasses with voices silk n sin.

Before arriving in Raccoon, Shade had spent some time in Arkham Asylum for being mutant while mentally ill, being diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder while possessing the power of control over the darkness/shadows. So she was already unhinged a wee bit when she got the job in the tech dept. of RPD (in later years she would look back and think in retrospect that maybe getting a job in a police department when having just technically escaped from an a asylum after a massive earthquake may haven’t have been her smartest of moments ok?) and working directly with the STARS division. More specifically the Alpha team.

During her years (I’m thinking at least three maybe four years.) in Raccoon she’s always looking over her shoulder, fearing that Dr. Hugo Strange was still out there looking to bring her back, he was fascinated with the odd connection between her psychosis and her powers. However, Shade vowed when she broke free that she would never be anyone’s unwitting experiment ever again. That’s why even after learning of Wesker’s true motives and even after they started hooking up she never divulged that bit of herself to him.

Oh he knew she used to be in a psychiatric hospital, he noticed her meds on her bedside table one night laying in her bed post coital. That and after one night when a highly dangerous prisoner managed to slip loose in the police department and try to attack Shade. That was when Wesker became infatuated with her. Her pure unhinged rage as she defended off her attack awoke something in him. Oh he could work with that. He reckoned he could temper that rage to his advantage quite nicely. Because of this moment and after saving her from Strange’s clutches is when they move in together.

She had come busting through his office door late one night at RPD, she was frantic, and obviously terrified. Diving underneath his desk between his knees, silently screaming that to cover her, that she wasn’t there, and that he hadn’t seen her. That she WAS NOT going back to that hell hole.

Moments later two shadows are at the doorway to Wesker’s office. Dr Hugo Strange and Professor Jonathan Crane, sans the Scarecrow mask, but hiding that sick Freddy Krueger lookin fear toxin injecting glove behind his back, the one he had in the Arkham game series.

And honestly how much anyone wants to bet that if DC (specifically the Gotham Rogues) were connected to Capcom and Resi then Umbrella would’ve SO tried to outsource work from Gotham. Like there are too many psychos whose work lines up waaaay too well with Spencer’s agendas. Like that plant room in Resi 1? You cannot tell me that Ivy wouldn’t have worked on that shit, and if that’s the case I wanna see the working interactions between her n Weskie! Oh it’d be so bitchy and catty and hilarious! But like also Crane and Tetch’s work kinda goes along with Umbrellas MO too!

Anyways! Wesker and Strange never got along. Honestly they’re personalities are very similar, just Wesker doesn’t give off major creep vibes like Strange. Weskie gives off only daddy vibes, feel? So the heads are butting already, Hugo’s asking where Shade is, that she’s an escaped inmate *ahem* patient, and should be returned to treatment post haste lest she snap.

Albert ain’t havin absolutely none of that bullshit. He points out that A.) she was on HIS team therefore HIS keeping. If Strange was implying that Albert couldn’t handle the reigns on his people then Strange was more of a pompous fool than Albert previously gave him credit for.

And B.) even if he did know where she was he sure as fuck wasn’t about to tell hand her over to him out of pure spite. (I can see Wesker and Strange have kind of that same dynamic that Albert had with the rest of the older researchers when he first started at Arklay. They, including Strange, were old and out of touch stuck in their ways while he was the brilliant new visionary.)

Wesker makes Shade wait under the desk until he’s absolutely sure that the two are out of the building. Coincidentally, that was also the night they started to hook up. Wesker reasoned that it wasn’t a good idea for her to go back to her apartment, Strange and Crane were bound to go there next. So he offered to let her stay the night. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t find her incredibly attractive in a manic pixie dream girl kinda way, and that he didn’t sometimes think of how she would look at his mercy.

Cut to the Mansion Incident, where everything’s gone to shit, and now the two lovers were forced to show the hands they were keeping so closely clutched to their chests. But ultimately they were separated. She made it out alive, and with nowhere left to go, she went back Gotham. He did as well, but after the chaos that became Raccoon City and the G-Virus retrieval, she slipped right through his fingers and into the darkness.

So for three years they were apart, and in that time Strange caught up to her and pulled her back into the madhouse. The second time was so so much worse than the first. She became a bit colder, her remaining moral compass being chip away at but by bit. The only people keeping her anchored were Ivy, Harley, and Killer Croc. (Her n Waylon are BFFs nay homies ok? He even gave her the nickname Spooks) What added insult to injury was after the fall of Umbrella that rumors started to go around about someone continuing with he work. Rumors of a ruthless Mastermind with unnerving superhuman strength, speed, and intelligence. She knew he had survived, and while he was out there working to conquer the world, she was stuck here waiting for her brain to rot. Plus side is in the time she’s been stuck her powers have matured and her control is impeccable. Ivy was a wonderful teacher. She even learned that she can use that darkness to almost ‘infect’ other people’s minds and consciousness. She go in and have a bit of a look see. Maybe shake things up a bit here and there.

(Cut to sometime before 5. Excella’s in the picture, but Jill isn’t under his control yet.) Another mass break out at Arkham occurs, and instead of staying in Gotham Shade was going on a bit of a trip. She was going to find a certain someone.

But the ironic bit? Albert was actively searching for her in the background. After witnessing her powers first hand he knew there was a reason they matched each other so well. How they complimented each other. Especially after learning her whole story after he hacked into the ‘Suicide Squad’ database and saw his kitten’s file. She was a busy little thing. (He would so have tabs on Waller and the Squad. Fuck Capcom shoulda teamed up with DC instead of Marvel.) She was still his little pet project, and he wasn’t done molding her to his whims yet.

But he definitely wasn’t anticipating, the fury that was headed his way! When Shade catches up to Wesker, she comes down on him HARD. Think that one scene in Mr and Mrs Smith ‘You still kickin baby?’ *chef’s kiss*! She’s beyond pissed, and he goes from wanting to play with her until she broke to straight up wanting to wife her, not really more like ‘Well looks like I found my Goddess.~’

He lets her rage, a.) he’s absolutely smitten and b.) after imagining being at the hands of Strange and the other assholes of Arkham, he figures she needs to unload and hell, he’s a God he can take it.

All of this to say the new unhinged and decidedly more ruthless Nightshade is a HUGE turn on for Wesker and eventually Karl. Albert adores her sadistic streaks when it comes to their enemies, and when she giggles her absolutely insane unhinged giggle she makes when she gets to wail into an enemy with her bare hands, makes this warm feeling in Albert’s chest just blossom. He’ll never ever call it love tho. He’s got a ‘certain fondness’ for Shade and Karl, but I don’t think he’d outright say love. Adoration maybe. But I think he’s been too emotionally stunted by Spencer’s machination bullshit to go there with his emotions anymore. That part of him died as a child in order to survive, and only then sorta clinging to Alex for support.

And then Karl! Karl matches her chaotic energy so fuckin well like they have so much FUN together! Before meeting Shade, Heisenberg never really knew what having fun and a genuine good time with someone looked like until he met her. She was genuinely, and ironically, the light that he needed in his dark n dreary life.

There’s this comic, I can’t off the top of my head remember the artist, but if you recognize this description lmk, that goes with Karl is standing next to Alcina, a decapitated head at Heis’s feet, and he’s lining up his hammer with the head like a golf club. He bets Alcina he can make the shot to the sword on the maiden statue in the village. He makes the shot obvi but I can so see that being the type of shit those two get into while Shade’s positioned in the village. They are chaos gremlins together. Chris thought Shade n Harley was a handful to watch is now nothing compared to the shit her in Heisenberg get into.

So when all three of them get together OH MY GODS!!! Watch out world! They all wake up choosing violence every single fucking day and they all antagonize each other. Karl n Shade are about to do a stupid thing and Albert’s just egging em on. While Albert n Karl are sciencing, Shade’s in the middle. Al enjoys nothing more than to unleash his lovers on his unsuspecting enemies!

And if they’re under the supervision of Chris and the others, they will almost never have a moments rest with those three.

[hitoshisbabygirl]

Author's Notes ♡: Hey Hey, it’s me, ya girl and I’m back with another collab! Ive always loved the roommates theme and have a few ideas for some other ones in my head making this. It’s kinda all over the place because it was a professing with their friendship! Yes I made a Zelda reference and I land about it no. I know Rapp is seen as violent and dense but but this is in a collage au so he’s just a bit...aloof I just love the idea of him actually being a big softie ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ. I hope you enjoy! ~ bunny ❥

Warnings : NSFW!!! (◎_◎;)

Sweet caring sorta himbo(meh?) Rappa, female oral, Big Dick Rappa , sorta size kink if you really sqint,cheater ex mentioned like once , language

Word count : About 5k! Yikes ^^’

Paring(s) : Kendo Rappa x F! Reader

Enjoy ♡

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Having Kendo Rappa as a roommate is an interesting feat in itself. He is big, and loud , very very loud. He wasn't a bad roommate he just..was like a cute large and fluffy puppy that didn't know his size...or power. Their interactions started as the two met during a halloween party one of the frat houses down the street thew. [ ] went as Midna, her best friend Rumi was dressed as Impa while the last two of her friend group , Amaya and Asa, a pair of sisters, were dressed as fairies. “[ ]! Rumi! you two are so cute! Zelda costumes?” Asa asked as her sister ran up to admire their outfits. “Yeah! [ ] wanted to do some characters that matched us y'know?” She said as she nudged her quiet friend , the girl jumped and laughed , scratching her neck as she gave the excited sisters a small smile “If i was coming out tonight I was gonna wear what i wanted to really wear” [ ] said as the group of them laughed and mingled with their other friends and classmates. While heading to get juice , she heard loud screaming , as the sport boys were starting to show up. First was the football team, then the basketball. Baseball and wrestling came next, then the smaller clubs finished them out. Sighing [ ] was content away from everyone as she watched mayhem ensure, chugging of barrels , more music, girls swarming around the players they crushed on as they did minor things, like talk to their teammates or eating from one of the big food trays laying around. Feeling a tap on her shoulder broke her from her people watching, Rumi giving her a bright smile as she took a cup and joined her. “How's my favorite antisocial babe doing now that all of the party has arrived?” She asked as [ ] gave her a pained smile, going to get more if something to drink “Well I don't feel the need to smack anyone is that a good sign?” she chuckled as she got a hug from the more energetic girl “That's my girl! Don't worry, i wanna get out asap but we’re gonna need our favourite pair of sisters before that can happen and it seems like they're fawning over some of the baseball boys as we speak” Rumi said as they watched a familiar tutu of blue go by, followed by a pink one going a similar way. “I don't get it… but at least their taste in men isn't too bad” [ ] joked as Rumi agreed , laughing “Yeah miss tsundere, you can't stand saps, or most of the jocks either” giving the white haired girl a look she rolled her eyes and gave her own laugh back “Yeah I guess i'm either picky or just got high standards” “Ain't nothing wrong with that we all do!” She said as she elbowed the girl beside her.

As the two of them sat there and talked Rumi glanced past her and her eyes widened, causing [ ] to stop talking “What is it-” before she could question her, the white haired girl jumped up, waving at someone “Rap! Over here!” Constantly yelling to someone [ ] started to ask again when a booming voice came from above her “HEY RUMI” a very loud voice called as stomping could be heard before it stopped “I see you took our idea huh?” With that comment [ ] turned around only to be face to face with a dark cover chest, only to then look up to some of the most warm and amber colored eyes looking down at her “Hello there little lady, I like your costume! Erm..Midna aint it?” The giant ganon dressed man questioned as all she could do was shake her head in agreement, causing the giant male to laugh “Awe don't be shy of me kitten i ain't gonna bite!” He chuckled some more as her friend jumped in “I told you she was shy! Be nice Rappa!” Rumi yelled at the flaming red head as he gave her a toothy grin “Oh I was just teasin’ , I bet I ain't hurt her feelin’s did I sweetheart?” Rappa questioned as [ ] face felt hot, hiding her face in her hands as the teasing duo laughed causing the girl to huff “I'm tired of you two already” She said as a giant warm hand touched her shoulders “Awe dont be like that hun, in time ya’l love me” Rappa teased as he gave her a smile,making her stomach flutter “Yeah! This is who wanted you to meet anyway [ ]! This is Kendo Rappa, our top wrestling boy, Rappa this is my adorable best friend [ ]!” Rumi said as the two gave each other a shy smile , a sly one creeping up on Rumis as she thought to herself “Yeah, this'll definitely happen”

Since then the two had become more acquainted , having many classes together and sharing some similar friends [ ] was used to the bruting and sometimes dense man making a random ( and loud) appearance. As [ ] sat in her mostly empty room thanks to her last roommate moving out after constantly breaking sound rules and getting into it with the girl downstairs for being in her bed with her boyfriend (Yikes) she felt a sense of calm. Closing her chemistry book and letting out a relieved sigh [ ] thought about the fact she was going to get a new roommate, the thought was nerve wracking but also it was exciting as well. It was almost too quiet , having the last room by the stairs meant she didn't have to deal with many people besides her friend group. They weren't loud , unless one of her friends decided to get laid and made way too many sounds, or if their neighbors under them threw parties or also had...extra partners coming around. She definitely could feel she was sorta excited she was going to have a roommate again. The sisters had a room to the left of her while Rumi had the one to the right, sharing it with a girl they knew from math. The rooms were not gender defined, some girls having rooms with guys and vise versa so it made it easy to get a room.

These dorms were also quite spacious, the walls not paper thin and a large enough area space that could house two or maybe even three people. So when she heard a knock on her door she expected it to be her new roommate she was advised would come today. Happily opening the door she was shocked and almost terrified to see just a box, well actually a few boxed stacked hiding whoever it was behind them. But if the faed rustic orange hair and wide shoulders meant anything she knew her new roommate already “K-kendo?” [ ] said as the boxes walked by her , landing with a soft thud as bangs covered the male “[ ]? Is that you?” moving his hair out of the way their eyes had the same expression, shocked. “Uh h-hey there sweetheart why isn't this cute, we’re roomies hun?” he laughed as she couldn't help but give him a smile back. “I never expected to see you as my roommate” [ ] teased as Rappa gave her a hardy laugh “Well it looks like me and you are gonna be close friends here darlin’!” With a wide smile he picked her up and gave her a tight hug, taking her breath away ‘ Oh boy i wonder how this will turn out’ she thought as she was eye leve with her giant puppy like friend, his eyes filled of joy

Which leads into now, [ ] trying her hardest to read up on what her next project could be. As she sat there thinking she heard the tale tell sound of her roommate entering with some of his teammates, the boys loud and rambunctious as they entered. Feeling a heavy hand on her shoulder she looked up to the towering boy that was her roommate, his eyes just as bright as usual. “Hey darlin, we're just gonna talk up sum strats a for the upcoming match and play some games in the back , is that alright?” He asked with pleading eyes as one of his more cocky and jock like friends spoke up “Well youre the man here, dont let some women say if we cant or can be here” Rolling her eyes and proceeding to stand up and push past the wide eyed boy who knew what was going to happen. [ ] took in a breath before opening her eyes to look up to the boy “Well it is my room, i pay shit here and the man over there didnt get this place, so i do choose who can and cant come through my place” She said as she pointed a finger to the boys chest. Trying to push his luck he pushed back against her finger “ I bet you just haven’t gotten a good enough dicking for you to just stay out of the way” He laughed. Before [ ] could hit him hard enough her rust haired friend moved in , clearly towering the boy “Yer better watch yer mouth, she has her right around here, im invatin her space so watch it before there's no place for any of us to relax without rules” He said as the boy sucked up any laughing and nodded his head in understanding. Surprised by her usually aloof roommate [ ] stood back and went back to her work, the other boys scrambling behind kendo as the boy who tried to challenge her jumped to follow, never making a move to mock or do anything again.

The boys picked back up and were having fun in the back room of kendo’s , sighs and groans when they lost and victorious laughs and screams if someone won. Once they all left and everything settle to a quiet rumble as the last few funneled out [ ] could here herself think, reading up on chemistry as she felt a presence behind her. “ ‘M sorry, i didn't know my question wouldve cause a roar outta ya..” Kendo started as she smiled gently, turning to face the wounded boy “Its okay….guess it just lit something in me i always did y'know?” She said with a small laugh as she went to type again, but was stopped by the hulking boy. “I gotta make it up to ya alright? I know i aint say anythin that he did but…. It feels like my fault y'know?” He admitted as his large hand covered hers. “You wont live this down will you?” She questioned as his eyes flickered up to hers, sparking. “Nope, not at all. Lemme treat ya right okay?” For such innocent words [ ] couldnt help the shiver that ran down her back at his words. Maybe it was because he was so close, or that the smell of his cologne was too much, either way her head was spinning as she let him still hold her hand as he tugged her away from her computer , his smile widening as she reluctantly shut the bright screen “Great! Now let's get something to eat im starvin” He rasped out as [ ] gave him a giggle that made the boy stop in his tracks. He always thought she had a cute giggle but this one,for some reason , made his heart and chest feel warm and tight. Ignoring the feeling he took the girl with him, the two headed out to get something to eat as they headed down , the sound of her giggling still running though kendos mind.

Getting a random frantic text from Kendo wasn't unusual, in fact it was quite common for him to do such, which now didn't faze [ ] at all but this one was...particularly odd giving what he was asking ‘Hair? And messy? What in the world is he up to’ [. ] thought to herself as she headed to her shared room with the boy, nervous of what scene she could be entering.

Sighing after his last text she hurried her way to their dorm room and in fact he did leave the door open, making her more nervous as she entered the living room. “Kendo?” [ ] called out as she heard a gruff sound come from her bathroom. Entering was a sight of its own; towels, a bowl of some..substance , bags and bottles of body wash and a one flustered and shirtless Kendo. “[ ]! ‘M so glad yer home here take this” The large man said as he handed her an old toothbrush that was frayed and covered with the same odd substance in the bowl. The lingering smell from the room eventually gave it away ; shampoos. “Uh why do i need this? And why is there shampoo on a toothbrush” She questioned as he groaned, taking the towel off his head as she blinked owlishly at his very faded red orange hair, the color now more of a neon pumpkin. Shaking off extra water caused even more of his hair to fall, landing between his shoulder blades as he gave [ ] a desperate look. “It wont come out, and the more i scub the more...orange i become. I look like a orange peel” He whined as [ ] figured out what he was trying to do

“ You wanna remove the color right? A bowl of shampoo and body wash isnt strong enough” Going into their kitchen she grabbed some baking soda and lemon juice , coming back to the hopeless boy “Let me mix something up ive used before okay? Then we can proceed with your hair” Two and a half hours later the boys hair was now a light peachy orange, just light enough to take up with bleach “Well, if were gonna go for blonde ill go get some bleach and some masks, deep conditioners too, your hair is definitely gonna need it and I don’t want it breaking off because you're impatient to take care of it” she sighed as he was amazed at his hair, running a large hand through the still damp mess atop his head “Wow yer good” He said as she smiled at him, taking her keys “And you have a lot of hair. I'll be back” She said as she hopped up “Wait! Lemme go with you?” He asked but also seemed to demand, pleading eyes looking down at hers as wet hair dropped onto his still bare chest.

Trying not to be hypnotized by where they landed and proceeded to slide down she looked up at her amber eyed friend, who was staring intently as he waited for her answer, soft “Please?” coming from his lips. Sighing dramatically on purpose [ ] laughed at him, giving him a grin “of course you can you big puppy” she said as he picked her up in a hug, a gesture that shows his excitement she's come to learn. Putting her down he went to go to the door before his friend called him out “uhm Kendo? You don’t have on a shirt” she said plainly as he looked at her, raising a brow as he gave his rebuttal “Its hot” He responded. Giving him a side eyed look she turned from him and towards their bedrooms, [ ] sliding into his. Soon she came out with a sleeveless one, throwing it at the hulk of a guy infront of her “You can't come in the store without one” She said as he gave a growl of his own, sliding the shirt over his head as they left their apartment “Well at least ya got me one without sleeves” He huffed as they started back to the door, heading out to finally go to the store to start another process on Kendos hair, the male just excited to finally get rid of his pumpkin hair.

As Kendo sat in the shared living room with [ ] , deep conditioning his hair at her yelling request (‘If you dont re nourish it before you want me to bleach it , I won't do it!’ ) he watched his roommate and now his best friend wanderer around and do housley things for their apartment, the girl content as she cleaned and sorted out things in the kitchen, her body turned away from him as he started to think over how beautiful he thought she was. He want the type to brag or gloat about having so many girls comment on his size , height wised and well sometimes other ways , trying to tempt him to them. All while his friends wanted him to explain how he got the attention from the other gender , Kendo hated to admit it but ,he only wanted his roommates' affection. He knew how put together she was, smart and kind. He saw what her previous boyfriend did, a cheater that didnt take care of the beautiful soul he lived with. He couldnt stand seeing her come home and cry herself to sleep broke his heart, and when he fought the cheater, in the act he didnt feel bad once. Of course it ended their relationship, and [ ] yelled at him for fighting , explaining how he couldve ended in jail for fighting her ex, but he argued it would be worth it.

Sitting and mulling over everything he realized Rumi was right, hed do anything for [ ] but not the same for the other females that passed through his life. She actually, was the first person he did that for and that thought made his head dizzy. Moving from his place on the couch he went to stand in the kitchen, waiting for [ ] to come back from her room. Hearing the iconic sound of her feet pittering across the wooden floor he gave her a lopsided smile as she jumped, smacking into the chest of Kendo. Before [ ] could fall from impacting with his chest he caught her, holding her arm to his chest. “K-kendo! You shouldve told me you were in here! Why are you in here anyway?”[ ] scolded as he laughed, moving out of the shorter girl's way as he started his staring again, this time [ ] noticed him “......What?” She asked as he looked down at her, an unreadable look on his face. “Kendo” she called as he hummed, moving closer “Yer gorgeous” Kendo blurted out as [ ] started to stutter, eyes going wide. Taking teo steps forward he essentially trapped his friend between the corner of their kitchen canopy. “Remember when I fought that bastard of an ex you had?” Kendo asked as he saw [ ]’s eyes go soft , shaking her head “What about him...i'm still mad you almost lost everything just to fight him yknow” she huffed as he poked her cheek “Id do it again if it meant you'd be happy again yaknow” Kendo said as he leaned down to push his head against hers, amber and [ ] eyes mingling. Lifting his large hands he traced each side of her cheek, analyzing over her face as he nuzzled against her nose “Stop playin hard to get would ya? Bad enough you got my heart all in your little hands” he whispered as [ ] just started at the giant , her arms gently coming over to cover his that were place on her cheeks “K-ken..i need to start you hair..” She hopelessly try to argue as he groaned, burying his face into her neck. Squealing at his damp hair touching her shoulder [ ] jumped ,pushing the large boy back “Your hair's wet!” She whined as he chuckleed, mo\ving back as it turned into a booming laugh “Oh my ‘m sorry babe , you look surprised” He said as she smacked hsi chest “Go to the sink, i need to rinse the conditioner” She yelled as he hwld his hands up in a mocked surrender, pulling his shirt up and off in one fluid movement. Caught up by him stripping his shirt off [ ] gave him a glance over, the heaviness of him admitting feelings for her in his own unique way still lingering in her mind as the toned and strong back of her friend made her head hazy. Turning around from the lack of notice of his smaller friend Kendo caught the eys of [ ] staring, her eyes quickly flickering to his curious ones as he grinned “See somethin you like darlin?” He teased as she grunted, reaching up to push his head in the sink “Shut up and let me do your hair”

And like clockwork, Kendo rappa was an icy blonde after two days, a break given to his long ,thick and wavy hair, the giant boy looking over his new look as he sighed happily, loving to have his hair finally look normal. “Well damn [ ]! Ya made it even better than what i was thinking. Look! My hair’s all wavy at the ends and it's soft! Whatever you made me do made it feel better!” He raved as the girl looked over her work. And in fact it was highly even, his hair consistent and lavishy soft. Giving him a shy look she giggle “That's what a deep conditioner will do to damage hair and the way i'm always untangling your hair for you, i knew it would need it before you wanted to go white” She said as he just kept running his hands in his hair, turning back to her “I could just kiss you right now!” He blurted out as they both froze at his words, eyes wide from both parties “I-I aint mean it [ ]” He croaked out as she giggled, stepping back from him “O-of course you didnt, why would you i mean aha..”She said as she moved away more , his own words started to hit him as he realized the reverse effect it was having “NO! No, I'd want to kiss you, I really really want to. I just...want it to be on your terms okay?” he said as he grabbed her arm, holding her in front of him as if she'd float away if he didnt.

“Kendo...I..” [ ] started as she came back to his hip, laying between his legs onto his thankfully covered chest “I just dont want to lose you if you decide you wouldnt want me around” She whispered as he pulled her even closer, kissing her forehead as he stared at her “Dont you ever say that again ya hear me? Youll be my princess and ill be your humble er..knight” He hesitated as he tried to think of a sweet way to explain his feelings. [ ] looked up to him as she felt here eyes feel heavy with tears. Before one even fell Kendo pushed his lips as soft as the strong boy could, wrapping a large and beefy arm around her waist as he slipped his tongue in her mouth, letting his hand slide down to pull her up to sit on the tops of his thighs while he leaned against his dresser. Softly [ ] pushed her hand on his chest and pulled away, now eye to eye with Kendo “Sorry , d-did i overstep my place” He asked as she let out a snot, before laughing. Confused, Kendo went to talk before she stopped him “No no, youre good, just that if we keep kissing on this dressed there's gonna be a hole in the wall” She said as she pointed to where the mirror kept tapping a spot, scrapes already aroring it “R-right!” He laughed too, picking her up to set her on his bed “Now then...lemme serve you princess” He said before kissing her again, not letting her rebuttal his own comment. As the two kissed he made sure to be as gentle as he could be , at times clumsily nipping her lip or his hand pulling hard at her clothes.

All in the name of wanting to show how much she meant to him. Soon he pulled away, a small string of saliva strung between them from the hearty kissing. “[ ]...i think i love you” He said as she gave him a soft look , trying to catch her breath from the dramatic kiss they came from “Good, because i love your loud ass too Kendo” She teased as he smirked,leaning down to bite her neck, causing her to moan loudly “We’ll see whos loud after im done wit ya” he gave his own tease back as he moved between her plump thighs, kissing the flesh there as he pulled her shorts to the side, exposing her flushed lower lips. Gasping she reached for his hand that held her legs apart causing the fresh blonde to look up at her, eyes wandering over her face for signs of him to stop “I-Im not used to being this bare sorry..” She whimpered out as it dawned on the other side of her words “Have you ever ate out baby?” he asked as she hid her face from him, shaking ehr head as he groaned, pulling her shorts down as he saw her lacy panties , a smirk placed on his lips as he peeled them off too, a string of arousal keeping them plastered to her lips “fuck, that bastared really didnt take care of you” he growled as she sat up to see his darkening eyes kiss up to her lips whispering out a “but i will” as he sucked one of her lips into his mouth, causing a lound moan from the woman he was inbetween. Slowly he licked up her lips, searching for that small pearl as she whined, a hand coming down to tug his hair. Grunting he soon found it, sucking onto her clit as she gasped, her thighs shutting over his head as he looked up to her, watching as her back arched off of the bed once her pressed his tongue hard against her clit. Softly he let a hand run under her thigh, a single thick finger tracing over her twitching hole as he pushed it in gently, making [ ] squeal. “K-Ken!” She called out as he looked up again, catching her eyes and flushed face on his actions. Making a show of what he was doing he let a second one join the first as he sucked hard on her bud at the same time making [ ]’s eyes roll back as her hand fell from his head, nervous od pulling too hard. Kendo however had other plans. Feeling her walls tighten around his fingers he made sure to find that spongy spot and hitting it, finally pulling his lips from her clit as he smiled “Uuh Uh doll, look at me” He growled as she hesitantly glances at him, regretting that she did. He looked way too good, hair a mess as he was panting, catching his breath from being down on her. With evry pump of his fingers his muscle in his arm twitched, making her own walls spasm as she watched it “Ya like it sweetheart?” He asked as she shook her head, watching him move back to her pussy “Good, cause i aint done” He said as he gave her clit kitten licks beofe slurping on it, throwing a wink at her as he picked up his pace, making [ ]’s voice rise as she felt herself getting close before quickly snapping at a particular hard thrust of his finger to her spot on her walls.

Letting out a light scream she came over his fingers and tongue, the male laughing gleefully as he sucked up her juices. LEtting her come down some he watched her face as bliss spread through her body and a sense of confidence whent though his. Slowly he picked up the pace of his fingers again, going from a shallow push to more stroking as he heard [ ] whine, grabbing at his hand “Uh uh sweetheart, you taste too good fro me to only let you cum on my tongue once” he said as he pushed her down by her stomach, letting her take his spare hand as he went back to suckling on her lower lips. He knew he had a lot in stored for her, and watching the newly admitted love of his life cum from his pleasing was enough for him to realized he needed to do more. Popping off her clit as puling his fingers gently out he looked at her ravished body, using his non wet hand to pull at his sweats. “Youre beautiful like this [ ]” kendo said as she took in heavy breaths, feeling her throat close as he stroked his massive size, rubbing the swollen head as he looked at her , giving her a soft smile “Ya dont have to take me just yet , hes just throbbin too much” He groaned as he twisted his hand hard over his leaking tip, feeling himself throb as he laid back on his bed. “Ride my face?” he asked with one of the most sinful looks [ ] had ever seen ; lustful eyes watching her as his large hand stroked his larger dick, the soft and fleshy muscle jumping at watching her crawl to him, throwing a leg over his neck

“I-i dont wanna suffocate you..” She said as he smirked before saying “Ya cant suffocate me i want it” Soon he grabbed her hip, pushing her onto his awaiting mouth as he picked up his pace, sliding his tongue into her twitching hole as she rocked her hips, keeping a steady pace as she held herself on his shoulder and headboard, ,depreate moand and cries tumbling out as he rocked her too, going from her clit to her dripping entrance, stoking his dick harder and harde as her moans spurred him on. Soon he felt the bud in his mouth twitch and throb harder, the sounds [ ] made increasing as his own hand sped up with his throbbing head, the telltales of them both getting close. A moan erruptred from the girl on his lips as she came again , her essence running down his face as he groaned, ropes of cum shooting onto his hand and stomach as he came himself, still stroking out what he could as the pressure he felt subside. Sliding off softly [ ] saw the mess behind her, taking it upon herself to lick up some of it as she was met with his same aber eyes, watching her move to his still hard member “Let me take care of you too?” she asked shyly. Fuck he was done for as he felt himslef hardend worse at her words, a large hand coming up to smack her ass as he psuhed her up and over his head, letting his tip and her swollen lips run over eachother. Slowly he pushed his tip past her budding lips, entranced by the way it swallowed her whole “Fuck...i love you [ ] and by the time im done with ya...youll know it” he whispered in her ear as she felet him push, more and moreof his large size spreading her lips father than shed ever had. Her eyes rolled up as she felt him bottom out, both moaning as he picked up his pace, making a soothing rhythm as little moans and whines came from [ ], deep grunts coming from Kendo as he kissed her shoulders and back, marking where he could as he felt himself get closer with how she was throbbing over his member.

Digging his fingers as deep as he could in her plush hips he let our a mantra of ‘Cummin’ i and ‘ I love yous’ in her ear as she pushed back against him, feeling herself teetering as he pushed as deep as he could go ,letting himself cum as she came too, the overwhelming feeling of him throbbing against her spongy walls and previous orgasms enough to push her over a third time. “[ ]” Kendo rasped as [ ] hummed , feeling her legs still shake with him in her “Im serious, i'm never leaving you...you're mine and i love you…” kendo said as he kissed the back of her neck, nibbling her ear as he stayed in her “Mhm….i love you too Rappa..”

[lovelylunarwriting]

Jaemin Soulmate!AU

Jaemin has a reputation as a “cool” kind of guy, which is why he wears bracelets to hide the words permanently etched on his left wrist

“Wait- if it’s not butter, then what is it?”

Jisung and Haechan are notorious for giving him shit for having a ‘weird’ soulmate, but Jaemin thinks it’s kind of funny, honestly

Like great question dude but,,, why are you asking me this

Jaemin’s apartment is around the corner from a little family-owned grocery store that he’s frequented since his high school days.

He’s very much a regular, to the point of the owner being like “Jaemin…. Please just work here. You already know where everything is”

To which Jaemin has to respectfully decline, because he wants to focus on his dancing and singing, and working too much would get in the way of practicing.

That, however, does not stop the old man from sending customers with questions to Jaemin whenever he comes in.

Because Jaemin is too polite to be like “uhh I don’t work here, good luck”, he always ends up helping them

But secretly, he doesn’t mind. He thinks that maybe one day, his soulmate will be the next one to ask him a question.

Even after repeated questions about “how much does this cost?”, “when do you guys open tomorrow?”, “when will the next shipment of bok choy be in?”, he still isn’t terribly bothered.

The other employees chastise the boss for sending customers to Jaemin, but the old man is always like “he knows this store better than you all do. That’s why he gets a discount higher than yours”

Employee discount: 15 percent off all merchandise

Na Jaemin discount: 20 percent off all merchandise

It’s an unspoken rule amongst employees that Na Jaemin gets a discount, but they are NEVER to mention it to him! He knows that business has been rough recently and wouldn’t accept the generosity, but the boss thinks Jaemin is too skinny and wants him to be able to afford to eat well.

Now lovely reader, this is where you come in. You recently got a job at this grocery store but you work in the back, so you have never seen the famous “Na Jaemin” that all your fellow employees chat about so frequently.

Coworker #1: “Ugh, he’s like SO dreamy”

Coworker #2: “I know right? He’ll have no trouble becoming an idol at this rate”

Meanwhile you’re like “lol what who? Also where is the printer for printing clearance labels”

You specifically applied for the back of house position because you did not want to talk to people.

It’s not that you’re antisocial by any means- honestly it’s the opposite. It’s just that you have the tendency to say whatever you’re thinking with absolutely no filter.

So in the past when more…. challenging… customers have talked down to you, you gave back the same energy without thinking.

Management was not happy,,, so you were like “mmmm maybe I should just keep to myself and everyone would be happier”

One day though, it seems that you’re shit out of luck.

Your work bestie calls you at 3 in the morning on your day off saying that her kid has a fever and she’s gotta stay home and take care of him.

You have no plans other than generally being a lazy lump at home, and she’s always had your back at work, so you’re like “girl don’t worry about it, I got your shift. I’ll make some chicken noodle soup for him too”

To which she’s like “bitch if I hadn’t found my soulmate already I would’ve snatched you up T-T”

You giggle and tell her to try and get some rest- both her and her kid.

And then sleep another blissful 4 hours before rolling in for the 8am shift.

When you get there, boss man is like “ayeee so you’re covering for her shift which is stocking shelves, are you gonna be okay doing that?”

You: “Ahaha yeah it’ll be fine~ just please don’t send customers to me oh my gosh”

Boss Man: “Don’t worry, I just saw Jaemin walk in. I’ll send them to him”

You: “... who is Jaemin”

Boss Man: “He’s my FAVORITE!! Remember that!”

You: “Oh, okay!! Yes sir!”

You’re like fifteen minutes into your shift and you’re already on edge because all you’ve done so far is dodge all the old ladies who are shopping this early.

No actual products have been put on the shelves yet, or at least not by your hands.

Settling down in the dairy section, you relax a bit and start putting cold products in the cold shelves fixed to the wall.

And of course- things are in the wrong place. Why would anyone put anything back where it belongs?

Picking up a product, you glance at the label out of sheer boredom more than anything.

“Wait- if it’s not butter, then what is it?”, you say to yourself.

Or so you think.

“Yeah, that is like the one question I don’t know how to answer”, you hear a masculine voice say from behind.

You spin around and look up into the man’s face.

And oh boy is that a nice looking face.

“Oh I’m sorry, I- WAIT”, you start, before you realize what he said.

Grabbing his left wrist, you push up the bracelets to reveal what you’d just said. Then you drop his hand out of sudden shyness, and because it’s not cool just to grab people.

“Do… do you mind if I look at your wrist as well?”, he asks quietly.

You roll up your sleeve and present him with your arm. He delicately wraps his fingers around your wrist and flips it over to read the words written”

He drops your wrist and sinks into a squat, flopping his arms over his head and looking at the ground.

“Oh my gosh why did I say something so lame…”

“Umm,,, to be fair,,, I did ask you about butter so by comparison yours isn’t that bad,,,,”, you try to comfort him, and he lifts his head up to meet your gaze.

“You mean that? It wasn’t like the lamest thing you’ve ever heard?”

“Oh I’ve heard much lamer things, don’t worry!”, you say with a cheery smile that contrasts your words entirely.

He stands up again and clasps your hands in his. With a look of determination he looks straight into your soul and asks:

“What time do you get off work?”

You tell him, but let him know that you’ll be busy after work making chicken noodle soup for your coworker and her son.

He’s like “oh you can cook?” and you’re like “lol no but I’m gonna die trying”

He writes his phone number on your arm (next to your soulmate tattoo) and is like “text me when you’re done with work and I’ll swing by and walk you home and maybe I can help you cook”

And quickly clarifies “ONLY IF YOU’RE COMFORTABLE WITH ME IN YOUR HOME, I UNDERSTAND IF BECAUSE WE JUST MET YOU-”

You’re like “dude,,,, it’s fine, we are literally destined to be together. Also if you try anything I’ll just beat you up so it’s chill”

Looking at his watch, he sprints makes a beeline for the checkout counter, going on about he’s gonna be so later and Haechan’s never gonna let it go if he’s late twice in a row, and something else but by that point he’s so far away from the dairy aisle you can only hear muffled sounds where words should be.

The next several hours could not go by ANY SLOWER.

Starting off today, you figured the day would go by quickly because you’d be preoccupied figuring out how to do something new, but now all you can think about is pretty soulmate boy.

And how he never mentioned his name, but to be fair, it was a rather quick exchange.

What feels like centuries later, your shift is coming to a close so you grab the ingredients you the internet tells you you need for the soup and head to your favorite cashier.

Somehow the front of the store is both quiet and abnormally loud for this time of night.

“Jaemin’s been waiting there for fifteen minutes? Do you think he’s waiting for someone?”

“Maybe he needs to talk to the boss? Usually he’d just ask one of us to grab him but he’s just standing outside”

“Ugh it’s so cold, should we tell him to come inside?”

You glance over to the crowd of coworkers towards the entrance and break out into a smile.

“Just keep ringing me up, I’ll be right back!”, you tell the cashier and fast walk past the small crowd.

Peeping your head out the door, you greet him.

“Are you cold? Come inside, I’m almost done”

“Oh okay, should I wait by the door though?”

“No, come with me. I wanna show you off~”, you instruct and he raises an eyebrow, but plays along.

Holding open the door for him, he scuffles his way in and shyly offers his hand.

Gladly, and with a pounding heart, you lock your fingers between his.

“Your hands are freezing, dude”

“Shhh it’s fine. I was trying to be cool, okay”, he jokes with you as you walk back to the register

Ringing up your items, the cashier is looking at you and him with raised eyebrows, and you’re just like “shut up jessica I’ll explain tomorrow”

The two of you walk back to your apartment and spend the rest of the night cooking and talking about everything and nothing.

The more you learn about Jaemin, the more confident you are that the universe got this one right.

Even when most things feel unclear, you know this person is someone you can always rely on.

(also when you bring your sick work bestie the soup, Jaemin insists on tagging along and she’s like “omg Y/N that’s JAEMIN” and you’re like “I KNOW” and he’s like “hi here’s some soup, also why do you know my name”

[robinrunsfiction]

It’s A Love Story - Part 4

Part 3

The night of the fall formal, (YN) was up in her room, sitting by her door which was cracked open, so she could listen to everything going on downstairs. Gerard left first, going to Ray's to work on songs and be antisocial nerds together. Then Mikey and their mom left to take him to Kristin's friend's house for group photos before the dance. That's when (YN) started to get ready.

Frank knew she had been disappointed that she couldn’t go to the dance with him, so he promised he'd make it up to her. He told her to make herself up as fancy as she wanted and he'd come get her that night when everything was ready. She didn’t know what the evening would entail, so she had been buzzing with excitement and nerves ever since.

She pulled on a black dress, adjusted the necklace that Frank gave her in the mirror before doing her hair and makeup a little, not much more than she normally wore. She was just writing her mom a quick note when she heard something hit her window. Rushing over she saw Frank down below with a handful of pebbles, dressed nicely in black jeans, a button down shirt and a zip up hoodie over it, ready to toss another pebble up at the glass.

(YN) grinned at him and he waved her down. She motioned that she’d be down in a second, before hurrying to finish the note and rushing downstairs. 

“Hey gorgeous,” he smiled and (YN) blushed. “You look really, really pretty.”

“Thanks,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “So where are we going?”

“Back to my house, come on,” he said, heading for the car.

“Wait, you drove here? But you don’t have your license yet!”

“It’s only around the corner, besides I have my learners permit,” he shrugged.

“You’re such a bad boy, and that’s what my brothers were afraid of all along,” (YN) feigned shock.

“Oh you know it, babe,” he smirked as they got in the car and they both started laughing.

When they arrived, she followed him into the house, but she grew confused when instead of stopping to take his shoes off, he continued toward the kitchen.

“Wait, where are you going?” She followed after him. Frank just smiled and opened the door to the back patio for her. When (YN) stepped through, she was at a loss for words. Twinkle lights were strung up, and paper lanterns hung overhead. On the table was a bouquet of flowers, a portable cd player and a portion of Frank's extensive music collection.

"You can't go to the dance, so I brought the dance to you."

"You did all this for me?" She marveled, looking around.

"I wanted you to have a special night," he replied.

She grinned before throwing her arms around him in a big hug. "Thank you, it's amazing!"

"Wanna dance?" He asked when she pulled back. (YN) nodded and they started to look through the music to find a track they both loved.

"How about this one?" (YN) suggested, holding up her favorite CD.

"Perfect," he nodded, putting it on.

His hands found their way to her waist and she draped her arms over his shoulders as the music began to play. They swayed slowly in time to the music, dried leaves crunching under their feet. 

"Thank you again for this," she smiled, looking around at the beautiful scene.

"Of course, I wanted you to have a special night because,” he paused, glancing away, before looking back in her eye, a little nervous. “I, I love you (YN). Like more than how we’ve always said it as friends. I’m really in love with you.”

(YN) felt her heart skip a beat and her knees go weak. “Oh Frankie,” she whispered. “I love you too, so much.”

He leaned in and kissed her, pulling her body closer to his, and she wrapped her arms around him, one hand running through his black hair. They’d kissed hundreds of times by then, but this was new, it was special. They were in love and it was perfect. Except that no one could know.

They stayed outside a while longer until (YN) began to shiver in the cool autumn air. Frank slipped off his sweatshirt, putting it around her shoulders before they headed back inside.

“Movie?”

“Sure,” she yawned, plopping down on the couch. “Nothing too scary though.”

“Got it,” he replied, selecting a movie and putting it on.

She curled into him when he sat down, resting her head against his chest, listening to his heart beating. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“I like this hoodie,” she murmured. “I like that it smells like you.”

“I’m not getting it back any time soon, am I?” He laughed lightly.

“Probably not,” she smiled up at him.

"That's fine," he replied, returning her smile.

Sleepiness began to pull at (YN) as she snuggled up closer to Frank, even if that was hardly possible. Her eyelids grew heavy as she fought the feeling, trying to stay awake, not wanting to miss out on a second of the date.

The next thing she knew, she was waking up to the sound of a telephone ringing. She sat up, and realized that Frank was just waking up as well, before scrambling for the phone.

“Hello?” He asked, voice still thick with sleep. “Oh hi… shit, really? I’m sorry, we fell asleep watching a movie, I’ll bring her right back! Bye.”

“What’s going on?” (YN) asked, her heart racing from waking up so suddenly.

“That was your mom. It’s like 2 AM and she was wondering where you are.”

“Oh shit,” (YN) gasped. “Did she sound mad?!”

“No, just concerned,” he said, shaking his head. “But I can drop you off, so you don’t have to walk so late in that pretty dress.”

(YN) nodded, head still spinning. The ride back to her house was silent, other than the music playing on the radio. Before pulling up to the house, he cut the headlights, in case anyone may see them and try to figure out who was in the car.

“Thank you for a wonderful night,” (YN) said, still a little sleepy. “It really was beautiful.”

“Of course,” he smiled, reaching over to take her hand. “I’d do anything for you. Want me to walk up?”

“Better not. Gerard’s car is here, he might still be up,” she sighed sadly.

“What’s wrong?” Frank asked, noticing the shift in her tone.

“I… I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you anymore! I wanna, I wanna wear your sweatshirt to school and go to dances with you and hold your hand and,” she felt tears start to sting at her eyes. “I wanna tell everyone that I love you, but I can’t risk them kicking you out of the band or something worse! It’s all my fault,” she sobbed.

“Oh babe,” Frank soothed, pulling her against his shoulder, letting her cry, stroking her hair. “It’s not your fault, you’re not to blame for any of this. And yea, I wanna tell everyone how much I love you too, but I’ll wait as long as we need to. We got forever.”

(YN) wiped her eyes as she pulled back. "Do you mean it?"

Frank nodded. "You and me, forever."

(YN) smiled and sniffled. “I’m sorry, I get emotional when I’m tired.”

“I know,” Frank smiled. “I’ve seen you tired a lot of times.”

“Right,” she laughed lightly. “I guess I should get inside.”

Frank nodded. "I love you, (YN)."

"I love you, Frank," she replied.

He leaned in and kissed her tenderly before she slipped out, closing the door as quietly as she could, and hurried inside the house.

She knocked on her mom's bedroom door to let her know she was back before finally arriving to the safety of her room. She changed into her pajamas, but pulled Frank's sweatshirt back on again and climbed into bed.

"Forever," she sighed contentedly at the thought.

Part 5

[ratsoh-writes]

Can I get a match-up plz😋 if u isn't wanna plz just ignore

Personality- people pleaser, easy to please, easy to impress, very goofy, lighthearted, forgiving, hard to make mad, love language-physical touch, abnovert, can b antisocial and Moody, stubborn, playful, awkward, a pervert once people get to know me, looks innocent but isn't, will try and use puppy dog eyes on him lol, starts 'fights' for fun.. if he asks me to stop I will but it's like a game to me.. he's probably gonna 'win' all them, teasing

Hobbies/likes: crocheting, knitting, leg and ab day, cooking for people, animals, big fluffy blankets, stealing hoodies, shiny stuff, stuffed animals, poodles (I use my poodle to break the ice cause I'm awkward and can't talk otherwise), always has coffee or tea with me, peppermint and tea tree oil, sushi, and cuddles, a dominant guy

Pet peeves: gluing stuff n notebooks, doors left open, lights left on, dishes n the sink, when the sauce is put on my food and not on the side, people who touch me without permission, gaslighting, and people who poke fun at stuff I like Or someone else or dis it, someone who pauses me while I'm talking to tell me they don't care

Deal breakers: being too critical, disloyalty, one sidedness, dishonesty and lying, and mind games

Values: someone who's loyal and won't let someone else disrespect me or disrespect me themself, I like a man who will take charge without being an asshole

Physical: Im not too picky about the way he looks..I'll think he's handsome regardless.. I'm 4'5'', woman, curvy pear shape body.. I got booty for days and big legs.. an small up top, always wears short black dresses and a blue jean jacket when I go out, I always wear black lipstick. I'm pale almost white, pale green eyes, freckles, blushes easily all the time, tiny hands, knee length dark blonde hair and dark lashes. Always has short false nails on, always painted dark red. Always has a bruise somewhere on me (iron deficient most of the time and everything shows up on me)

I like your confidence!!

I match you with….

Star!! (Underswap sans)

What attracts star to you is that you know how to have fun! You’re goofy, adventurous, and you seem like the person who’s chill enough to roll with him when he’s hyped up or adventurous about something. Star loves someone with a bit of spunk. Plus that confidence is super hot

I’m sorry but you can’t put “booty for days” in your description and not have me mention it. Bum bruises are common because someooooonne (looking at you star) can’t keep his hands to himself. While he’s not a cuddler, he is still pretty physically affectionate. Random hugs, pecks, and booty snacks are common with him

Thank the stars you know how to cook, because he sure doesn’t. Hopefully your experience with puppy eyes will help you resist his. Star will try to use them to get you to let him cook. Don’t. It’s a trap

Your play fights are one of star’s favorite parts of you. He throughly enjoys playfully wresting or chasing you around the home. He’s careful to be gentle though since you bruise easily. He’d feel terrible if he left blue streaks all over you lol

[spock-smokes-weed]

Another annoying thing about Fanon Tim is that he never has friends before YJ and is completely antisocial. While Canon Tim "is it new school? cool, cool, cool. I'm going to make friends with every second person I meet. annoying jocks? a couple of minutes and we are the best bros forever."

LITERALLY!!!!

Honestly I don’t think any of these people who write for fanon Tim know a thing about his character. And that’s fine, but it’s super annoying and frustrating when you have read the comics. Not to mention how it’s actively destroying Tim’s reputation in the fanbase.

Even when it comes to his YJ friends they only ever focus on Kon and Bart; sometimes Cassie if you’re lucky. When there was a whole nother group of people who Tim was friends with and cared about. Greta, Cissie, Lagoon Boy, and even the friends he made in the titans are just never talked about. Not to mention the people he’s close with in the batfamily are erased in place of making Jason his hype man (which is just so fucking weird????). Like Dick, Steph, and Cass are all super important people to Tim and it makes me so insane seeing them get tossed aside or written badly to make their uwu sad boy look better.

Like Tim’s history is constantly getting shuffled around and twisted and it’s just so strange. Like things that happened when he first became Robin will be paired with things towards the end of his time as Robin and I’m just ??? what’s going on??? Like one time I read a fic that was about Jason’s attack on titans tower, and it mentioned that both of Tim’s parents were alive, when at this point both would have been dead. It seems like they just hear about a few things that happened to Tim and just fucking run with it.

Tim is also constantly being portrayed as a wide eyed fanboy who always listens to Batman and others heroes, and while that was a part of Tim’s characterization when he was first Robin, he drops it over time the more he’s involved with the hero stuff. Like Tim regularly lies to Batman all through YJ, is constantly shown to not always trust Bruce’s judgment, and even thought Bruce was guilt of murder for a time because of how Bruce was behaving. And when he does have a wide eyed admiration for another hero it dissolves into just regular coworker respect pretty quickly (like when he met Ted Kord). So seeing him constantly act like a squealing fan boy who thinks his heroes can do no wrong is mad cringe. 

I have this big conundrum when it comes to the fanon batman fandom, because I’m fully aware that comics are an expensive and difficult hobby, and I started from reading fanfic because I couldn’t afford anything, but at the same time it’s just so frustrating to see panels and comic arcs get take out of context and twisted to prop up a OOC version of a character. And with Tim being a character that not many people know about, fanon is actively ruining his reputation and that just makes me every more frustrated.

I think the place where I come from is that because I used to read a lot of fanon fics, not knowing they weren’t even close to canon, when I finally did get to reading the comics I got really mad because how things are in canon is just objectively so much better. There is so many great stories and character in the comics and seeing it brushed aside for these just fucking terrible and watered down clones makes me wanna chew glass. And there’s huge attitude among fanon that fanfic and fanon is far superior than the source material. Which is just???? There is a near century’s worth of comics for batman and ur telling me fanfiction is better that all of it??? Please for the love of g-d touch some grass.

All I can really do is call out bad fanon when I see it, and recommend good comics and plotlines to start with. I have a Batman recs list pinned on my blog that I updated every so often. If anyone is new and wants to read comics, if you’re willing to spend a little chunk of change then the DC Infinite app is a great resource (if ur in the us 😔). They have everything DC has ever published and it’s all organized. They even high light a lot of really good storylines. If you don’t want to do that then just hunt down a character recs list and pirate the fuck out of whatever is on there. Piracy is a victimless crime and it makes u cool and sexy. 

Just…. please… read a fucking comic book before I walk into the ocean

[work-of-waking-up]

In Defense of the Psychopath

Alright, wanna venture into my crazy ass brain? I’m going to start by saying one thing that will set the tone for everything else that follows: Villanelle is not a psychopath in the way that we currently understand them. Why am I even bothering to write about a fictional character, you ask? Because representation is important. Media portrayal of various mental and behavioral health topics (including ones that people might not think need to be discussed) is important and this show has a big audience. I also just want to contribute to the conversations that are taking place because I am seeing A LOT of them and the reason for that I believe boils down to the fact that Jodie makes Villanelle so relatable and people want to know what that means and looks like for them. Even those who felt they could relate to Sandra’s Eve, or the relationship between the two, maybe questioned what that meant the further they went down the path with them. “It’s probably a bad thing I relate to a psychopath, right? But she can’t be a psychopath because she cries and she feels things! Psychopaths don’t cry, which means she isn’t realistic so therefore it’s okay that I relate to her! Right? Or are my assumptions about psychopaths and people with antisocial personality disorder wrong? I relate to Eve but look what she is underneath it all...so does that mean I relate to that part of her too?” Not only is villanelles character relatable, but people see the freedom inherent within her, the freedom that Eve sees, and they realize that, at least on some level, they want it too. The show has (unintentionally I think) created a massive dialogue which is super cool and you can tell everyone involved on the show is aware of that now, I mean they have a consulting psychiatrist so I think that speaks for itself. This is less of a commentary on the character herself and whether or not she is a genuine psychopath, and more so a commentary on the conversations she has inspired and why... For the record, this is literally just my opinion sprinkled with a few facts, nothing else.

So, the term psychopath gets thrown around in the show, more so in the beginning, MI6 explicitly labels Villanelle this way, even going so far as to use her in a presentation about psychopaths, although I think that was more so to gauge Eve’s response than anything else. The reality of Villanelle, which we come to learn, is that nobody has been able to get close enough to really know the truth. Anna and Konstantin both got close but we never hear either of them use that word (Konstantin says it once but he clearly doesn’t mean it, it was more of an attempted manipulation tactic). They make it clear that she has, and can, and WILL cause damage, but that’s as far as they go. Eve is getting close and she tells Villanelle when they first meet that she knows Villanelle is a psychopath but it’s obvious from Eve's behavior and things she says later on that she truly doesn’t believe Villanelle is what everyone says she is. It’s easier to label her as a psychopath because that alienates and isolates her and her behavior completely. She is an outlier with behavioral anomalies and therefore it isn’t necessary to look any closer. For MI6 and others (not talking about the shows creators) to label Villanelle as a psychopath is easy, it’s lazy, it’s reductive, it serves a single purpose... a means to an end. They (anyone other than Eve basically) simply do not care about Villanelle’s truth. But as an audience we are lucky enough to see more of her with each episode. The psychopath label begins to fade and Oksana is what’s left. We know based on what she has said that she is aware that people think she is a psychopath, a monster, a person built to kill. It’s not always easy to decide that who you are is different from who you’ve always been told you are, especially given her history. Villanelle hasn’t told us yet if she thinks (or knows) that she is a psychopath, but it’s clear towards the end of last season that she no longer wants to be the person that they (meaning the twelve, Dasha, Konstantin, etc.) created. We see moments where she clearly has no remorse and clearly enjoys what she does, but then we have little moments sprinkled in between where she very obviously struggles, even if its short lived. And those moments are important. We have the moment where she struggles with the choice to shoot Konstantin, saying he is a good person, she thinks. This comes shortly after a conversation she had where Irina tells Villanelle she thinks she is a good person because she is sad, so we know she is thinking about it, we know the awareness is there, and it becomes more and more there as times goes on. I like to think of it in terms of having moments that are pure Villanelle (ie the way she killed Inga in the Russian prison), and then we have moments that are Oksana, vulnerable and emotional. Villanelle is a creation and a mask whereas oksana is the truth. Those moments are starting to really mean something. I'm not even going to start with her trip to find her family, that’s its own thing, but it's a Really Big Thing.

So. Villanelle is not a psychopath in the way that we currently understand and perceive them. Yes, she displays psychopathic traits, and yes, she absolutely has antisocial personality disorder. I read an article where the psychiatric consultant for the show (makes it pretty obvious how hard they worked to make Villanelle as realistic as possible) said that the Villanelle in Luke Jenning’s books scored a 32 on Hare’s psychiatric checklist, but I like to think (and I think a lot of people would agree) that number is a bit high, at least for Jodie’s Villanelle, maybe not even hitting 30 at all (close though, let’s be real lol). The max score is 40 which would be a fully blown primary psychopath. For reference, Ted Bundy scored 39. This checklist is flawed though, mostly created and based off the prison population. Which is why it isn’t used as a proper diagnostic tool. 32 is apparently extraordinarily high for a female (think Aileen Wuornos), which brings me to my next point which is that because it’s hard to measure a lot of the classic traits objectively, there is not a ton of solid data surrounding psychopathy, and even less of it is on female psychopaths. Like most things in life, psychopathy exists on a spectrum, there are levels and layers. It’s not black and white, there’s no definitive test (psychopathy isn’t even in the DSM-5 because as I said earlier it’s extremely hard to measure objectively) and it's important to distinguish between someone who exhibits psychopathic traits and someone who is actually an identifiable psychopath. Chances are high that someone you know displays at least one characteristic shared with psychopaths and this doesn’t make them one.

I think what’s important about this is that mental disorders (mental illness/personality disorders/etc.) of any kind are much more nuanced than a lot of people tend to think they are. That they exist less in black and white and more in shades of grey. Jodie Comer is absolutely remarkable for showcasing that through portraying the different layers of Villanelle. Her performance is a literal gift. We cannot keep thinking and acting like we know everything about how a person thinks, feels, and behaves based strictly and entirely on one label. The thing that has stuck out to me the most, the reason I decided to even write this bullshit babble, is that one of the most searched topics about the show is whether or not it’s realistic that Villanelle cries, and honestly how sad is that? That makes me sad for V. Is it more realistic for her to develop connections and cognitive empathy if she was made into a psychopath vs if she was born that way? Is there a legitimate difference between the two? And how do we even decide which one is applicable for someone? It’s important to add that antisocial personality disorder is not the same thing as psychopathy or sociopathy. You can have aspd and not be a psychopath. Research has shown that about only a third of those diagnosed with aspd would meet criteria to be considered a psychopath. Society is not doing a great job at getting people to understand this. But to be fair, understanding personality disorders specifically has been somewhat problematic, a lot of diagnostic confusion and overlap between disorders. A LOT of work needs to be done. But as far as portrayals go, society has strictly chosen to go the route of giving us psychopathic characters and having them be inherently violent, incapable of remorse, feelings, or change. Poverty of all emotions. Subhuman. They are made out to be so abnormal and unrelatable to the point where the character of Villanelle has sparked so much debate and fascination simply because she exists in a way that actually IS relatable...and layered and beautiful and thrilling. We thought she would be the bad guy and yet we root for her at every turn, we cry for her, we want good things for her! We see her darkness and without question or hesitation we forgive it. She makes us question what we’ve previously been shown. Questioning whether or not it’s realistic that she acts the way she does is less important than questioning our own personal assumptions and beliefs and where those come from. I think that’s awesome. Villanelle is truly a gift. She is hands down one of the most well written fictional characters, which is saying a lot considering when you put something, or someone, in a box it doesn’t leave tons of room for expansion. and I honestly don’t even really need to say this, but.. Jodie Comer.

[haikyuu-appreciation-club]

hi! i really like your posts, and I’ve seen you’re taking “emergency” requests, and I’m just feeling so lonely and socially awkard and uncomfortable lately, so I was wondering if you could make Kuroo and Akaashi hcs of how would they react to see their girl / s/o alone and away from people, it would really make me happy 🥺♥︎ thank you in advance! -ghosty anon👻

hello ghosty anon ＼(〇_ｏ)／

I'm sorry to hear you’re feeling that way sweetheart, my messages and ask box are always open if you need someone to talk with <3

also ik it took me a bit to post this, school has been pretty hectic and my brain hasn't been in the mood to write lately so ty for being patient 

also i’m aware this definitely isn't the best + I apologize for that, but I hope it brings you comfort none the less :)

•Kuroo and Akaashi Comforting a Distant S/O•

warnings: none

genre: comfort + fluff 

characters: kuroo + akaashi

•Kuroo•

kuroo had never known you to be a super outgoing person

you weren’t one to intentionally go our of your way to make new friends or strike up a conversation with a stranger

but the way you had been acting lately was definitely a stretch

you were practically avoiding any social contact with anyone, choosing to detach yourself from the world around you

you had even shied away from kuroo as well

he felt like he shouldn't push you to open up to him but he couldn't just sit there as you distanced yourself from anyone and everyone

so, as the two of you were walking home he decided now would be a good time to discuss the situation at hand,

“Hey Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Have you been feeling alright lately?”

your steps faltered a little bit as you walked, you didn’t think he would notice your recent change in behavior

if you were being honest you thought you were the only one who had seen the shift in your world

“Yep, perfectly fine, why?”

kuroo slowed down a bit and caught your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours 

he swung your arms back and fourth as the two of you walked, hoping to make this conversation a little more comfortable for you by doing so,

“You’ve just seemed really distant lately, ya know? Just wanna make sure everything is alright in that pretty little head of yours.”

you smiled softly at his dorky compliment before letting out a soft sigh

in all honesty, you had been avoid discussing this whole thing with kuroo

the emotions that had been plaguing you lately seemed trivial in your eyes and you had worried he'd also take it as such

none the less, he had strewn the topic out in the open so you couldn't exactly ignore him now,

“I guess I've just been pretty uncomfortable with socializing lately. And I hate it because I want to be with other people but it just makes me so uneasy,”

you let out another exaggerated breath, hating how stupid you sounded 

“I don't know, this probably sounds dumb, sorry babe.”

kuroo stopped in his tracks, your connected limbs bringing you to a halt as well

he tugged at your arm and pulled you into a hug

“It’s not dumb Y/N, your feelings will never be dumb to me. I may not understand what or why you’re feeling this way but I still care.”

you wrapped your arms around him, returning the hug as you snuggled your face into his chest

“Thank you Tetsuro.”

he squeezed you tightly in response before pulling away and ruffling your hair

“You know, the team was going to go to lev’s house and hang out if you wanted to come. Maybe you can ease into socializing that way? Or you could just hang with kenma and play games? That doesn't really require talking. Or you don't have to and we can just stay home and hang out.”

you giggled at his scrambled attempts to cheer you up

you had grown pretty close to the team ever since you and kuroo had begun dating to testing the waters by hanging out with them didn’t seem half bad.

“Alright, it wouldn't hurt to try.”

“That’s the spirit! And just so you know, we can go home anytime if you start to feel uncomfortable, okay?”

“Okay.”

and that’s how you ended up sitting on lev’s couch, playing animal crossing with kenma as you snuggled up with kuroo

you slowly but surely felt your walls crumble as you munched on snacks and lightly chit chatted with the boys around you

it was the most comfortable and sociable you had felt in a while and you had your boyfriend to thank for helping you break out of your shell

•Akaashi•

akaashi didnt really understand why you had turned down so many outings lately

sure you weren't the most outgoing person but you usually loved to spend time with friends 

recently though, there always seemed to be a perfectly constructed excuse of why you couldn't attend that followed each invitation you received 

akaashi usually allowed you to open up about things you were going through on your own time, figuring you would let him in when you were ready

this time however, he had a feeling he should interfere 

one morning he had overheard your friends inviting you to your favorite restaurant 

that particular establishment was one of the only ones in the area that served your favorite dish so you never turned down an opportunity to dine there

akaashi was happy that you would finally be able to spend some time out of the house and with your friends, it had been quite a while since that had occurred

but his joy died down once he heard you refuse their offer and tell them you’d try again another day

why were you saying no?

as far as he knew, there was nothing stopping you from going

so, despite his usual approach to these types of situations, he pulled you aside later that day to have a conversation

“Y/N, is there something bothering you?”

“What do you mean Keiji?”

“Lately it seems like you’ve been avoiding going out with your friends.”

you sigh in defeat, of course he would notice

akaashi was a very observant person, always noticing the smallest changes in detail

so it wasn't a surprise that he would detect how antisocial you had become lately

you had been planning to sit down and talk with him eventually, but the feeling that you were being overdramatic always seemed to cloud your thoughts 

overtime you felt as though it would just be a bother to even bring up the subject, so you never did

now, standing before him, you had no other choice but to come clean,

“I just haven’t really felt the most comfortable with the thought of actually socializing with people, even friends. I wish I could but I just cant bring myself to. Sorry, I know that sounds silly.”

akaashi brought his hand up to your cheek and gave you a soft smile,

“Your emotions are valid Y/N, there’s no need to apologize.”

you leaned into his touch and gave him a small smile of your own

“Thank you.”

he brushed his thumb across your cheek in response before speaking up again

“If you feel comfortable with it, you could come over later and we can do something to get your mind off things.”

you nodded in agreement, finding the idea of your boyfriend’s company much more appealing than anyone else’s at the moment

and that evening you found yourself knocking on the door of akaashi’s home, waiting anxiously on his front steps

as soon as the door opened you were greeted with a familiar smell

“Is that what I think it is?”

he grinned at your question and stepped to the side, motioning for you to enter

there on the kitchen counter were two plates of your favorite food

the same food that you missed out on that night due to your lack of motivation to be with others

“Keiji you didn't have to do all this.”

“I wanted to my love, now here, bring that to the coffee table.”

he handed you one of the plates as he turned to grab some drinks from the refrigerator

as akaashi watched you snuggle up on the couch he felt love flow throughout his body

cooking a meal for you didn't bother him at all 

if it meant he could bring you peace of mind, It was all worth it

the rest of the night you two watched movies in each others embrace, enjoying the peace you both brought one another

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[flowerpowell]

The Royal Holiday Romance (Liam x MC)

EPILOGUE

A/N: Ahhh the last chapter and the last peek into Victoria’s and Liam’s lives! I was supposed to finish this series before Christmas but... better late than never, huh? I hope you’ll enjoy the epilogue!

Rating: G

Tagging: @gardeningourmet @delightfullypinkglitter @twinkleallnight @lodberg @sfb123 @queen-arabella-of-cordonia @iaminlovewithtrr​ @kingliam-rys​ @kingliam2019​ @texaskitten30​ @gkittylove99​ @shanzay44​ @sweatyrysconnoisseur​ ❣

“Li, you sure you don’t wanna come?”

Liam nodded, assuring his friends once again that he made up his mind and wasn’t going to change it.

Maxwell sighed. “As you wish. You’re gonna regret it though. I even wore my squid suit! The one that made Hana fall for me.”

“Hana never fell for you, Maxwell.” Drake rolled his eyes. “She just said it was a nice suit.”

“Whatever. She invited us to that party after all!”

Liam looked absentmindedly at his friends. Hana and the rest of the crew finished filming a week ago and they celebrated it with a big wrap-up party. She invited him and his friends but Liam didn’t feel like coming. Mostly because he still felt bad for almost firing Victoria from said movie. But also because she wasn’t going to be there. There was no point for him to go.

When Drake and Maxwell left, Liam went into his bedroom and opened his laptop.

It was almost four months since he saw and talked to Victoria. She went home right before Christmas and it was already March. To say he missed her every day, was an understatement.

Not much changed for him; Liam kept himself busy with work and all his duties. He knew Maxwell and Drake were worried about him but he kept telling them he was okay.

He allowed himself moments of weakness only in the night. He would google Victoria’s name and read what she had been up to. After leaving Cordonia, she set up her own blog and started her film critic career online. Maybe because of the scandal but mostly because she was very talented, she soon found a big audience and started being invited to different events, premieres and interviews. Liam was very proud of her and very happy for her. But reading all of that, made him miss her even more. The fact that she didn’t want to come to the wrap-up party, as well as the Cordonian premiere in a few months, was a clear proof she wasn’t thinking about him the way he thought about her.

Liam sighed as he saw an article titled: Victoria Brooks refuses to attend the premiere of ‘Cordonian Christmas’ in the light of the scandal.

Even though he explained everything what happened, he still was guilty of causing the scandal. He wasn’t surprised she didn’t want to come to Cordonia after all that happened. And he wasn’t surprised she didn’t want to keep in touch with him.

It was all his fault.

~~~~

“Greetings from the wrap-up partyyyyy”

Victoria looked at the picture Hana just sent her. She and Maxwell seemed to have a lot of fun. Victoria even spotted Drake sipping on his drink. No sight of Liam, though.

Not like she would expect him to be there. Hana had told her that Liam avoided leaving the palace since… she left Cordonia.

Victoria blamed the scandal and all that negative attention that Liam got afterwards for his antisocial behavior but Hana straightforwardly told her that it was because he tried to get over her.

She wasn’t sure what to think about it. Were his feeling actually genuine? It wasn’t just a game? Was a King really… into her?

“Don’t go there,” Victoria warned herself. What happened, happened. It’d been almost four months since they spoke last. High time to move on.

So why did Victoria feel like there was something missing?

~~~~

Liam was playing with his phone after checking his emails. He looked at his drafts folder and sighed seeing at lest fifty different emails he wrote to Victoria. Wrote but never sent.

He wondered if she thought about him. Even if just for a second.

“If she did, it would be pretty negative thoughts, I’m sure.” He thought to himself and put his phone away. It was pointless. No matter how bad he wanted to forget about Victoria, he couldn’t.

He still felt just as in love with her as he was four months ago.

~~~~

Victoria was playing with her phone after reading comments under her newest blog post. She checked her emails but nothing new came.

What was she waiting for, though? For an email from Liam?

“He closed that chapter. You should, too,” she thought to herself as she put her phone away. It was pointless. No matter how bad she wanted to move on, she couldn’t.

For some reason, the butterflies she felt when thinking about Liam didn’t die even after those four months.

~~~~

“It’s so nice to see you, Liam.” Hana smiled and greeted the King. He nodded and shook her hand.

“Likewise. I’ve heard the wrap-up party was a success.”

“It was… nice. We missed you,” she said and Liam could almost hear that silent and Victoria too but he didn’t say anything. It was his fault she couldn’t even come here.

“Maybe you could talk to him, Hana. He said he won’t come to the premiere!” Maxwell chipped in and Liam rolled his eyes. Hana’s face softened.

“You really should. I mean, I’ll understand if you don’t but it’d be nice to see you there.”

“I’ll think about it,” he promised. When Maxwell and Drake entered the throne room, Liam followed suit but Hana stopped him, gently grabbing his arm.

“Can we talk? Alone?” She added.

“Is something wrong?” His mind immediately wandered to Victoria. Did something happen to her?

“No… No. But… I wanted talk to you about Tori, if I may.” She started and Liam’s heart began to race. He nodded.

“I don’t approve of how you treated her with your lies and dishonesty. And I don’t blame Victoria for being upset with you and wanting to leave. But… I also know you regret it. And I know that you didn’t want to deceive her. Listen, Liam. I’ve known you for many years now and I know you’re a good person. We all make mistakes. And you… already redeemed yours. And I think Tori would agree.”

“I am really sorry for what I have done. Truly. If I could turn back time—” Liam started. Why was Hana bringing it up now?

“I wasn’t trying to make you apologize for something you’ve already apologized for. I’m just trying to ask… why did you give up on Victoria?”

Liam was taken aback. He gave up on her?

“I don’t think I understand… I didn’t give up on her… She left!”

“Yes, but that was four months ago. Even very stubborn people like Tori soften in that time.”

“What… are you getting at?” He was confused and Hana shook her head.

“I’m saying… if you really like her, which I see you do, you should’ve fought for her. She forgave you a long time ago and she misses you just as much.”

“She told you that?”

“She didn’t have to. I hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes every time we talk. Just like I see you still love her in yours.”

Liam stared at Hana. “You… think… I should—”

Hana chuckled. “When Cinderella left Prince Charming in the palace after the ball, he didn’t just accepted his fate and tried to move on. He started looking for her and fought for their future. Because he truly loved her.”

“And Cinderella’s two sisters lost their feet in the process,” he added absentmindedly.

“I see Tori educated you too on original fairytales?”

“Yes.” he smiled. Victoria had a bigger impact on his life than he even thought.

“Then why don’t you just go for her, huh? She doesn’t have any sisters so don’t worry about that part. Call her, message her. Fight for her! I’m sure she’s waiting for it, too…”

~~~~

Liam stared at the ceiling, rewinding the conversation he had with Hana earlier that day. If Victoria really forgave him and was waiting for his sign…

Hana told him he should call or message her but Liam wasn’t sure it was a good idea. When it came to Victoria Brooks, he wanted to make it right.

And he could only hope it wasn’t too late.

~~~~

Victoria hit enter and her newest post appeared at the top of the blog. She quickly turned off her computer and decided to go for a walk. It was her routine. After posting something, she was too scared to wait for people’s reactions so she always went for a walk.

“What you’re up to?”

Victoria marveled at the message Hana sent her. It wasn’t the fact that Hana messaged her because the two women kept in touch, but it was four in the morning in Cordonia and Tori wondered why Hana was up.

“Just went for a walk. Wbu?” She typed and the answer came right away.

“Where?”

Victoria frowned. What was going on with Hana?

“That little forest a few minutes away from my apartment. Why are you asking?”

“Nevermind, enjoy your walk!”

Now Victoria was concerned. She tried to call Hana but her phone was turned off. Or she simply didn’t want to answer her calls.

She was walking in the forest, trying to call Hana from time to time but without success.

“Fine! Be mysterious!” She yelled at her phone after tenth time Hana didn’t pick up.

“Is that what actresses do? Talk to themselves?”

Victoria turned so abruptly that Liam had to catch her. Her eyes widened at the sight of Liam, King Liam, in a little forest in her hometown.

“What—what are you doing?” she asked, still in shock.

“You visited Cordonian forests and I wanted to visit American,” he replied calmly.

“Ha ha. No one ever comes here. And how did you—” she narrowed her eyes. “Hana.”

“Don’t be angry with her. I wanted to make sure I’d meet you. Poor Hana, I had to wake her up in the middle of the night.”

“Why are you here?” She asked, her heart and mind racing. She couldn’t believe he was here. Here in America. Here, for her.

“To see you. To talk to you. To tell you how much I miss you. Victoria, I—I missed you so much. I never felt this way for anyone else. And I am so sorry it took me months before I finally came here to tell you that. I wanted to call you every single day. I’m still…” he paused for a moment. “I’m still very much in love with you.”

“Liam…” she felt her eyes started to water. “I missed you, too. And I’m sorry for what I said to you before I left.”

“No, you were right. I made a mistake. And I promise to never lie to you again. What was between us… was real. And I want that. If you’re still interested.”

Victoria swallowed hard and felt tears running down her cheeks. “I’m still interested.”

Liam smiled and extended his hand. “Hello. My name is Liam and I am the King of a small European country, Cordonia. I love Baklava and I’ve recently started reading Grimm’s fairytales. I still think they’re actually thrillers. In my free time, I like to go for walks. Four months ago, I fell deeply in love with the most amazing woman. And you?”

She laughed. “I’m Victoria and I’m a movie critic. I have my own blog. I used to be an actress but it wasn’t for me. I’ve never had Baklava but it sounds delicious. I consider Grimm’s fairytales better than their Disney’s adaptations. I once traveled to Cordonia and fell in love with their King. Nice to meet you.”

Liam’s face lit up and she threw her hands around his neck. She didn’t know how they would make it work, what it would look like dating a King, what the people would say but she didn’t care.

For the first time in her life, she felt like the main character in her own fairytale.

---------------END----------------

[red1culous]

Written Desires

Once in a while the team had to busy themselves with duties outside of saving the world. Today happened to be one of those days. In fact today was one of those days that seemed to bleed into a whole 2 weeks. That’s how long Fury scheduled the Avenger’s road trip for. Currently the star coach tooting down a lonely stretch of road in the pitch black out in the middle of nowhere was filled with the sound of snoring superheroes. Everyone was asleep except for you. You and Natasha. Sat side by side. And the sounds of little gasps and moans.

“So you going to tell her or shall I?” Sam winks at you as he plonks himself in the window seat beside you.

“Don’t you dare! I will kill you” you shoot him a hard glare, “plus she’s the Black Widow and I’m the newbie so shut it before anyone hears” you whisper out the last few words through gritted teeth. “Shouldn’t you be sitting with the others?” you say as you chuck your rucksack into his lap and he grunts before saying, “you might have just joined the team but we’ve known each other forever so excuse me if I wanna make sure my friend settles in ok”.

He was right about that.

You and Sam had known each other for a long time. Well more like since Sam had fallen into your greenhouse when his Falcon wings malfunctioned. You ended up tending to his busted up lip and bruised ego. It was a good thing you were also starting out as an ER medic so you weren’t completely clueless about what to do when a large man falls from the sky literally into your lap. The night was spent patching Sam up and declining his advances towards you. It took him a few hours to realise why you weren’t interested but when the lightbulb came on he was thankful saying, “oh! You like the ladies! I can dig that!”

He was the one who rallied for you to start working in Shield. Without Sam you would never have become an official member of the Avengers. Even though you never actually qualified as a doctor you were smart and a fast learner. Even Dr Cho was impressed and when Sam approached Fury, Cho supported him wholeheartedly.

So here you were, joining the Avengers Roadshow. Part of Fury’s plan to get the support of the public. In his words, “show them the human side of the Avengers.” You were invited last minute because the appointed medical attendee came down with a nasty flu. Not that you were complaining. You were going to spend 2 whole weeks in close proximity to your crush, Natasha Romanoff.

Sam was the only one in the team who knew about your crush. He sensed something when he was showing you around the compound. He had brought you to the gym and there stood the infamous Black Widow, covered in sweat, her workout clothes drenched and clinging to every curve of her body. You swallowed hard and when Sam introduced you to her, you became a flustered stuttering mess. After the encounter Sam would not stop teasing you about it. He used every opportunity he could to get you to make a move on her but you were some kind of stubborn. Plus you were too shy for your own good.

“I’ll go if you promise to at least talk to her sometime during this trip” he bargains. “Jesus, fine Sam, I’ll say hi or something” you said. With that he was off your seat and joining the others at the front of the bus. You quickly busied yourself with your work completely missing the look Natasha was giving you and Sam.

There was nothing much for you to do during the road trip. You wondered why you were even here at all. So far all you had to deal with was a blister from Clint wearing sneakers a little too small for his feet. Other than that you felt kind of awkward so you started writing in your notebook when there was a lull in activities. Even when you joined the team for lunches in small diners along the road you would be more interested in jotting things down. You felt really out of place but you didn’t want to seem antisocial either.

It was almost 1.25am when you realised someone tapping you on the shoulder. You were writing in your notebook and the interruption startled you. It was even more startling when you noticed it was Natasha Romanoff standing there looking at you expectantly.

“Nata-I mean Ms. Romanoff are you ok?” you start to get up in a hurry dropping your notebook on the floor in the process. “I’m fine Y/N I just came over…” she trails off as she reaches for your book and manages to read a few lines before you quickly snatch it out of her hands. “I’m sorry Ms. Romanoff it’s just umm, personal stuff you really don’t wanna read that” you stutter after realising you just snatched something out of the Black Widow’s hands. She chuckles softly, “please call me Natasha.”

After staring at her dumbfounded for what feels like an eternity you croak out, your throat suddenly dry, “did you need some medical assistance? Are you hurt or something?” She makes to sit in the seat next to you and you let her.

“Or something…” she says softly, “I couldn’t sleep and noticed you were up too, so I decided to come see what you were doing” she considers you for a moment, “I hope that’s ok”. You smile brightly at her and relax a little into your seat, “yes! I mean yea sure that’s fine.”

The sky starts to glow a shade of crimson when you realise that you had been speaking to Natasha throughout the night. She’s trying to stifle her laughter with your blanket as you tell her something funny. When the laughter dies down she smiles at you, “so….you write poetry huh?”

You start to blush, “oh god you read it didn’t you? I should’ve known you’d be able to fast read faster than us mere mortals” you start to pull at the blanket to hide your face. Natasha finds this adorable, “sorry, I did read a few lines. Hey don’t be embarrassed they’re really good.” Your thank you is muffled as you speak from under the blanket. She reaches over the uncover your face, “I’d love to read more if you don’t mind?” she’s giving you puppy dog eyes and your last wall of resistance starts to crumble. You hand your notebook over to her and she takes it with a smile and starts reading from the very first page. “Crap you’re starting from the beginning?” you whine as you start to reenter your cave of shame. “Yes I am so you just keep quiet over there. I want to see what you’ve been so busy jotting down every day.”

By the time she’s reading the last page you’ve come out from under the covers and are looking at her. You notice every little twitch of her face and how her mouth moves slightly as she mouthes some words reading them to herself. She closes the notebook and lays it on her lap before looking at you resting her head on the head rest of her seat.

Under her intense stare you feel the heat rising to your face as you start to retrieve the book from her lap. She grabs your hand effectively stopping your movements.

She. Is. Holding. My. Hand.

She. Is. Holding. My. Hand.

Your brain seems to be on a death loop and you can’t think of anything else until she breaks you out of your stupor, “they’re beautiful, Y/N”

“Umm thanks…I just…you know…umm thanks” you sound like an idiot.

“Are you always this inarticulate or only around me?” she’s definitely teasing you now.

“Very funny, Romanoff” wtf is happening right now. You’re trying to play it cool but you’re almost certain your sweaty palms are giving you away.

“Who did you write them for?” she says, gently stroking your knuckles with her thumb.

“Just someone I used to know. She’s not…we’re not together anymore” your brain thankfully starts to work again.

“Would you write something like that for me?”

You blink at her a few times before saying, “you’d have to fall in love with me, break my heart and then leave me first”.

Did she just move closer to you?

“Well I can do the first part” she breathes, “but I don’t think I’m up to the second or third”.

Your heart has officially stopped beating and you can hear the blood pumping in your veins.

“Ok” you whisper.

“Ok? Or…ok” she definitely moved closer. She’s so close you can feel her hot breath on your face.

“Ok”

And with that she closes the gap between the both of you and gently kisses you. When she starts to deepen the kiss you move the hand she was once holding to the nape of her neck bringing her closer while she holds onto your waist squeezing slightly.

The both of you stop kissing when you hear Sam’s exaggerated cough. He’s wearing this toothy grin and if you weren’t so turned on by the women in front of you, you would’ve said something to him. Natasha pulls your attention back to her and smiles while throwing the blanket over both your heads. Clearly she wasn’t done with you yet.

Tagging: @natasharomanoffismywife

[orangeoctopi7]

It’s Fine (It’s not fine)

@forduary week 1 is Hurt/Comfort. The one’s definitely more on the hurt side of things, but I promise there’s some comfort at the end!

Stanford Pines is six years old. He’s in his bedroom, reading quietly. He’s just getting to the climax of the adventure story he’s reading when his brother Stanley crashes into the room. It wouldn't normally be a problem, Ford is really good at tuning out the world around him while he reads, but Stan is complaining loudly.

“I’m booooooard!” The boy moans, grabbing onto the post of their bunk-bed and dangling off it dramatically. 

“Whaddaya want me to do about it?” Ford asks in irritation, not looking up from his book.

“Let’s go play on the beach! Or go to the comic store! Or… or something!” Stan suggests. “Anything but just sit around here doin’ nothin’!”

It was a hot summer afternoon. Ford didn’t want to go down to the beach or the comic store when he knew for certain anywhere they went today was bound to be crowded with people. He just wanted to sit and read in his room and enjoy some time to himself. 

“Can’t you go by yourself?”

“Are you kiddin’? Ma would throw a fit!”

Ford heaves a long-suffering sigh, places a bookmark to hold his place, and snaps his book shut before thumping it down on his bed.

“Well we don’t hafta go if ya don’t wanna.” Stan says lamely.

“It’s fine.” Ford assures him.

“Are you sure?”

“It’s fine.”

* * *

Stanford Pines is ten years old. He’s at recess, trying to lie low. Stan got held back for the whole half-hour because he’d been caught trying to sneak the class pet, a newt, into his backpack. This of course leaves Ford at the mercy of Crampelter and his thugs, who have little to no mercy on any given day. 

“C’mon freak, fight back!” The towheaded bully taunts him, holding Ford back by the forehead as he tries to struggle past the blocking arm for his backpack, held just out of reach. “I know I seen you taking boxing lessons back at Mel’s Gym!”

“It’s ‘I saw’ or ‘I have seen’, and just b‘cuz I’m taking lessons doesn’t mean I’m stupid enough to pick a fight I know I can’t win!” Ford protests. 

“Pfft, you’re no fun.” Crampelter scoffs, before grabbing onto one of Ford’s hands while he continues to reach vainly for his backpack. “But y’know what does sound fun?”

“Let go of me!” 

“Seeing how flexible your extra fingers are!” Crampelter starts to push Ford’s pinky finger back with his thumb, stretching it to its limit.

“Stop it! That hurts!”

But Crampelter just keeps pushing and pushing until Ford is sure some tendons are going to pop, when a shrill whistle echoes across the playground.

“Hey! Crampelter! Drop the freak!” The teacher on recess watch commands.

The bully finally lets go, and Ford stumbles to the ground, holding his injured hand close to his body.

“Here, lemme look at that.” the teacher pulls Ford’s hand away to check it. “Eh, ‘snot bleeding or broken, you’re fine.”

As they walk back from school that afternoon, Stan rants over and over that Crampelter Will Not Get Away With This, plotting various methods of revenge, most of them too fanciful to ever come to fruition.

Ford is silent the whole time, his gaze turned towards his shoes.

“Hey.” Stan suddenly stops his ranting and places a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help.”

“It’s fine.” Ford mumbles.

“I promise I’ll try not to get held in for recess again.”

“I said it’s fine.” Ford assures him, knowing that hoping Stan won’t get held back from recess again is like hoping it won’t snow in January. Technically possible, but highly unlikely. 

* * *

Stanford Pines is fourteen years old. He’s a freshman in highschool, and he and his brother are in detention after he was caught letting Stan look off his algebra test.

It’s not that Ford has anything against sharing his answers with his brother. It’s not like he has any sort of moral high-ground here. It’s just that Stan is always so carelessly obvious about it!

“I said I was sorry, alright!” Stan hisses at him, trying not to draw the teacher’s attention.

“We’re not in middle school anymore, these things actually go on our record now!” Ford hisses back. “You have to be more careful!”

“Well maybe if you would actually slip me your paper instead of making me crane my neck over your desk! Nobody’s gonna notice if you hand your test in two minutes before everyone else instead of five!”

“That’d be even more obvious! Maybe if you wore your glasses for once!”

“Maybe I would, if you could hold your own in a fight!”

“What does that even have to do with anything!?”

“You don’t wear glasses in a fight, genius! That’s just asking for them to get broken! And I know I’m always having to step in and save your skin, so why would I even bother wearing them in the first place?”

“Hey!” The teacher overseeing detention snaps at them. “No talking!”

The boys shut their yapps and go back to studying, or at least pretending to study.

“I’m sorry.” Stan murmurs, once he’s sure the teacher is no longer paying attention to them.

“It’s fine.” Ford grunts back.

* * *

Stanford Pines is 17 years old. He is begrudgingly walking down to the beach with his brother.

“C’mon Ford, it’s October, there’s only a few more days of weather nice enough to work on her left! And the dumb science fair isn’t until April!”

“I still have so much research to do before I can even start!” Ford complains. “Not to mention procuring parts, testing different models--”

“That all sounds like stuff you can do once it gets cold.”

“I should be in the building phase by then!” 

“Alright, look,” Stan jabs a finger in his brother’s direction. “If you wanna spend the last few warm days of the year cooped up in the library, that’s your problem. But I’m gonna enjoy the sunshine and the beach, and finish fixin’ up the Stan’o’war. We’re so close, I can practically taste the treasure and babes!”

“...Fine.” Ford grumbles.

“No, no. You go do your nerd thing. I’ll put the finishing touches on this thing we’ve been working on together since we were pipsqueaks.”

“I said it’s fine.”

* * *

Stanford Pines is 17 years old. He’s just come back from the most humiliating moment of his life (thus far). He confronts his brother, the offending evidence crinkling in his clenched fist. Stan tries to play it off like it’s not a big deal. Like he expects his brother to say It’s Fine.

It is most definitely not fine.

* * *

Stanford Pines is 20 years old. He’s showing his new roommate around their humble apartment.

“I really ‘preciate this, Stanford.” Fiddleford McGucket tells him for the sixth time that day. “Most folks wouldn’t offer to put their TA up in their apartment, ‘specially not when you’re lucky ‘nough to get yer own place!”

“Well, I’ll be starting the Doctorate program myself, next year! That makes us equals, in my mind.” Ford says proudly. “And I’m happy for the company! The only reason I have the apartment to myself is because my last roommate and I parted over… differences.”

“Heh, you too, eh?” McGucket chuckles. “Least you weren’t kicked out, like I was!”

“Why were you kicked out?”

“Oh, several reasons. I think the robot in the kitchen was the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

Ford laughs. “Well, I for one would love to have a robot that does our dishes and cleans the counters.”

McGucket grins and leans against the table.. “See, I knew we’d make great roommates!”

Unfortunately, McGucket’s leaning is more than the wobbly table can take, and it tips over on its side, scattering textbooks and papers everywhere. The two friends begin cleaning up the mess, McGucket apologizing profusely. 

They’ve almost finished putting everything back onto the table when Fiddleford picks up an old photo of two little boys standing before a derelict little boat.

“Well bless my soul! Is this you, Ford?”

Ford’s heart skips a beat. He hadn’t realized he left that photo lying on the table!

“Ah, yes, that’s me. That was the day I decided I wanted to be a researcher--”

“And lookit this little fellah next to ya!” Fiddleford interrupts Ford’s soliloquy. “He looks just like you! I can’t believe I’ve known you for three years, and you never told me you had a twin!”

“Er… it just-- it never came up.”

“How in tarnation does yer own twin brother never come up?” Fiddleford asks incredulously. “So, what’s his name?”

“Stanley and I are not on speaking terms.” Ford says stiffly. “I haven’t spoken to him since I was a teenager.”

A multitude of expressions dance across Fiddleford’s face before Ford can hope to interpret any of them. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He finally says.

“It’s fine.” Ford says tersely, snatching the photo back.

* * *

Stanford Pines is 21 years old. He’s trying to get a good night sleep before his first dissertation tomorrow. 

Trying being the operative word.

The past year rooming with Fiddleford McGucket has been great, for the most part. Ford loves spending time with an intellectual equal. McGucket accepts all of Ford’s idiosyncrasies, and Ford accepts all those of his friend.

Well, almost all of them.

It didn’t take long after they started rooming together for Ford to realize one of the several reasons McGucket had been evicted from his last apartment had nothing to do with his penchant for robotics, and everything to do with his penchant for late-night banjo playing. As much as it cut into Ford’s sleep schedule, he didn’t have the heart to complain to his roommate about it. He knew he had plenty of his own bad habits that were difficult to deal with, like his coffee addiction, his antisocial behavior, his tendency to start a project and just leave it laying wherever he was around the apartment, and his few dozen subscriptions to cryptozoological newsletters.

The digital clock on Ford’s bedside table reads 2:20 AM when the music finally, thankfully stops. He sighs and turns over in his bed, hoping to finally fall asleep.

When he wakes in the morning, groggy as a hung-over sailor, Fiddleford at least has the decency to look apologetic.

“Sorry, did I keep ya up last night? I kinda got lost in the music an’ lost track of time.”

“It’s fine.” Ford mutters as he pours himself a large mug of the strongest coffee he can brew. This is the first roommate he’s gotten along with since… since he started college. He can put up with this.

“Well, if’n ya need me to, I can start headin’ up to the practice rooms in the assembly hall fer my jam sessions--”

“It’s fine.”

* * *

Stanford Pines is 31 years old. He’s spreading thick globs of slimy aloe vera on his hands. He’s been letting his muse take control of his body while he sleeps for about a week now. Bill says he’s not used to the limits of a physical human body. He’s injured Ford’s body just about every night so far, but last night, when he picked up the hot coffee pot by the pot instead of by the handle, was the worst by far. 

“This keeps on happening, Bill. You need to be more careful.” He gently chides his muse.

“WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT’D HAPPEN? WHY DIDN’T THE IDIOT WHO DESIGNED THAT THING INSULATE THE WHOLE CONTAINER INSTEAD OF JUST THE HANDLE? YOU COULD DESIGN A COFFEE POT WAY MORE EFFICIENT THAN THAT!”

Ford smiles, blushing. “Perhaps I’ll get around to modifying it someday. But for now, as I was saying, could you please be more careful with my body at night?”

“HEY, YOU’RE ACTUALLY LUCKY THIS HAPPENED. IF I HADN’T DROPPED THAT POT, I WOULD’VE TRIED DRINKING IT THE SAME WAY I DO IN MY NORMAL FORM, AND THEN YOU’D PROBABLY BE BLIND. SO WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME!”

Ford pales. “Er, perhaps I should help you practice using my body first, just to decrease the risk of that sort of thing.”

“OH, I’M SORRY! DO YOU NOT WANT MY HELP? DO YOU NOT WANT TO ACHIEVE GREATNESS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE?”

“No! No of course not! That’s not what I meant!”

“DON’T FORGET, I’M DOING THIS FOR YOU, SIXER! I’M AN AGELESS BEING OF PURE ENERGY! THE ONLY REASON I’M HELPING YOU SPEED UP THE PROCESS ON BUILDING THE PORTAL IS BECAUSE I KNOW HOW PATHETICALLY SHORT YOUR MORTAL LIFE IS. YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO TRUST ME. OR ARE A FEW BUMPS AND BRUISES TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE?”

“Of course not! It’s fine! I’m fine!” Ford insists, finishing bandaging his burns.

* * *

Stanford Pines is… probably 45? He’s not quite sure. He’s lost track of time after traveling the multiverse for so long, especially after the Do-Over Dimension.

He’s making his way through a crowded alien market, hoping to find something he’ll be able to use in his Quantum Destabilizer, and also hoping not to be recognized by any bounty hunters. It’s annoying, having to wear a hood and goggles and mask everywhere he goes, but that’s just the way it has to be now.

It’s fine.

It’s only until he can complete the Quantum Destabilizer. After that… it didn’t matter what happened after that.

It’s fine.

* * *

Stanford Pines is 62 years old. He’s sitting in a hospital bed. Despite what that may suggest, his life has finally taken a turn for the better. Bill is gone, Weirdmaggeddon is over, and, miraculously, no one died. Stanley was going to be ok. The kids didn’t hate him. He’s achieved his goal of destroying Bill Cipher, and survived! He’s fine. They’re all incredibly, wonderfully, fine.

The doctor is giving his vitals one last check before officially discharging him from the hospital. It’s obvious that under normal circumstances, Ford would not be leaving the hospital any time soon, but thanks to the incredibly persistent insistence of his family, and the fact that the hospital is already absolutely filled to the brim with people who were injured during Weirdmageddon, and the fact that Stanford was instrumental in stopping Bill, they’re making an exception. 

“Alright, you’re free to go!” The doctor finally says, handing his clipboard over to Ford to sign. 

“Hooray!” Mabel cheers as her uncle signs his exit papers. “Now you’ll be able to help us set up for our birthday party!” She slings an arm around his neck to hug him, completely forgetting about the thin layer of bandages around his neck. Ford can’t suppress a yelp of pain.

Mabel reels back, hands flying to her mouth. “Ohmigosh, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s fine.” Ford forces a smile.

“I wasn’t thinking!”

“Mabel, really, it’s fine.”

“Ford.” Stan says firmly. Ford recognizes the expression on his face from the last few days. It’s the look he gets on his face when he’s remembering something painful. “You gotta stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” He asks, confused.

“Saying ‘It’s fine’ when it’s not.”

Ford raises an eyebrow. “Stanley, it was just an accident. It really is fine.”

“Oh, yeah, of course this was…” Stan stammers, apparently coming back to the moment. “Mabel’s not-- this was just an honest mistake. But you say… uh, or at least, you used to say that a lot. Even when I could tell it wasn’t really fine. You gotta stop that.”

Ford shifted in his bed uncomfortably. “I’m just being polite.”

“There are ways to say things aren’t fine while still being polite.” Dipper points out.

Ford can feel himself flush. “I’m not good at that. I always come off as rude… or angry.” Saying it’s fine is just easier. He can just move on and forget about it. Control his emotions. Remove them from the equation for the time being, process them later when he’s alone, so nobody gets hurt.

Stan takes a deep breath before he speaks again. “You just gotta trust us, that we’re not gonna leave you just ‘cuz you get angry sometimes.”

Is that really what he’s been afraid of this whole time? That certainly seems to be a part of it, but not the whole. All the same, he does at least feel that he can trust his family. And he can try to be more honest with them when something is bothering him.

“I think I can do that.” he says as he gets up from the hospital bed, ready to go home.