#I bet you can guess who sent emails to the boss saying she wasn’t going into work today 😂

[its-simply-rose]

[xbladekitkat85]

Why Clint is on Tony’s Sh*t List

Word count: A bit over 3k.

Chapter summary: Peter and Harley are brothers and the children of Tony Stark. Which is highly classified knowledge that nobody outside of the Avengers knows. Until Clint Barton accidentally spills the secret with a technology related mishap.

Warnings: A bit of language here and there. Tony threatening Clint’s life because he did an oopsie.

Peter's POV

In the school that is Midtown School of Science and Technology, everyone is basically a genius of some sort. You have biology geeks, math geeks, chemistry geeks, robotics geeks. You name a branch of STEM subjects, there are guaranteed to be at least 5 masters in every subject.

That being said, being a master in a subject doesn't mean that you would be instantly popular. Sure you might get hounded for homework help, but it doesn't mean you actually make friends as easily. It's more like people want to leech off of your knowledge and don't bother to get to know you.

There's a social pyramid in all schools and let's just say I'm towards the bottom of mine. I build Lego sets, I love Star Wars, I'm a whiz at chemistry and math. But people ignore the fact that I'm 'somewhat' intelligent and focus on the Lego and Star Wars part of my image. Which sucks big time. At least I'm graduating this year.

But at least I have my brother Harley to confide in. We argue over stupid stiff but we both enjoy poking fun at each other.

3rd person POV

Peter was sitting at his usual table with his small group of friends. Ned, MJ, and Betty made up this small group of people.

"So, what are you guys doing this weekend?" Ned asked the group.

"Uhhhh, I was planning on going to see that new movie coming out." Betty answered. "You know, the one with Emilia Clarke and what's his name."

"Oh yeah, I know which one you're talking about." Ned replied.

"You losers can go see a movie, I'm going to a protest outside of Oscorp." MJ replied, sipping her thermos of coffee.

"What did Oscorp do?" Peter asked curiously.

"They're trying to cover up an employee getting severely injured, the safety protocols are shitty, and HR is as usual, the worst part of it all in addition to the censorship of the incident online."

Peter nodded his head, eyes widened.

"Gotcha. I definitely understand why you're going."

MJ set her thermos down and opened her latest book, Speak.

Ned turned to look at Peter.

"Stark internship all weekend?" He inquired.

Peter shrugged and took a sip of water.

"I'm gonna hang out with Harley. Probably do some stuff in the lab. Usual stuff."

Betty shook her head in disbelief.

"I still can't believe you're friends with him." She said. "He's pretty high on the social ladder here. I mean I know you guys have the internship together but it's still kind of baffling that I never see you interacting in school."

Ohhhhh, if you only knew Betty. Peter laughed to himself on the inside.

Nobody at school knew that Peter and Harley were half brothers and the children of Tony Stark. Not even Ned or MJ knew although he suspected that MJ somehow knew or was close to figuring it out. She's scarily perceptive and freakishly good at knowing things about other people that she definitely shouldn't.

The bell rang signaling the end of lunch.

The four friends parted ways and headed to their respective classes.

*After school*

Peter arrived at the tower straight from Delmar's after picking up snacks for the weekend. He had grabbed an assortment, ranging from potato chips to pretzel M&Ms.  He waved at Ms. Maldonado, the lady who commanded the reception area and dashed to the elevator, scanning his pass when prompted.

FRIDAY greeted him when the doors closed.

"How was your day Peter? Harley is already waiting for you. He told me to tell you, and I quote, "Peter, I hope you remembered my PRETZEL M&Ms not PEANUT M&M's like last time. If you forgot, I'm going to steal that new Lego set you were planning on building tomorrow. And I WILL hide it somewhere you'll never, ever, find it. Insert maniacal cackling, blah blah blah."

Peter stifled a laugh at Harley's message.

"Uh, well my day was the usual, you know. And tell Harley I got his stupid M&Ms. And I grabbed him something else too if he promises not to threaten the Legos again."

"Sure thing, Peter."

He exited the elevator to the floor which housed the labs he shared with Harley. There were multiple as the duo tended to accidentally blow things up and would need to have another place to work while repairs were being done. Needless to say, Tony was more than a little annoyed that his kids needed multiple labs because they kept blowing them up. But whatever, he loves them and will pay for it as long as he gets to blackmail them with all the ridiculous stories of what blew up and how it happened.

Harley looked up towards the door Peter walked through and lifted his welding mask off his face.

"Hand over the merchandise, blockhead." He said, his arm stretched towards the bag of goodies Peter was carrying.

"Only if you promise to leave the Legos alone, biotch." He replied.

Harley rolled his eyes and dramatically lifted his hand in the air as if he was testifying in court.

"I promise not to touch the Legos." He said in a half joking tone.

Peter handed him the pack of M&Ms as well as a container of Oreos.

"I still don't understand why you like pretzel M&Ms." Peter remarked. "There's too much pretzel and not enough chocolate."

Harley stared directly at him as he tore open the M&Ms and popped a few in his mouth.

"I don't understand why you don't like pineapple on pizza." Harley shot back as he swiveled around in his chair

Peter groaned.

"We are not having this discussion again."

"Peter you're an idiot if you don't like pineapple on your pizza."

"Harley, you're a disgrace to the entire state of New York if you do. Fruit is not supposed to go on a proper pizza."

Harley chucked a bolt at Peter's head.

"Hey!" He protested as he turned to look at Harley. And then he saw a glint in Harley's eyes.

"Pizza is a dish with everything from the food pyramid. You have grain, dairy, meat, vegetables, fats, and oh, wait, you don't like pineapple so you're missing out. You could be getting every nutrient from the food pyramid but you're an idiot so you miss your daily serving of delicious pineapple on your pizza."

"Oh my god, stop."

The boys busted out laughing for a full 3 minutes, eventually with Harley falling out of his chair. Tony walked in to find his kids cackling at who knows what, and one on the floor, almost incapacitated by his laughter. He sighed before clearing his throat to gain their attention.

The boys sobered up and finally stopped laughing but they had unshed tears left from the fun.

"What on earth were you two dying of laughter over? Should I call a therapist? Do I need to be concerned? Did you eat something that you shouldn't have?"

Harley sniggered as Peter was trying to keep a straight face.

"He was eating pretzel M&Ms!" Peter said, holding back his laughter. "The type that should be illegal!"

"Peter, you don't diss Pretzel M&Ms, they're an underappreciated member of the M&Ms family. If you think pretzel M&Ms should be illegal, you clearly haven't tried the raspberry ones." Harley replied while doing his best to keep his face straight. "If anything, you should call a therapist for Peter and help him overcome his aversion to pineapple on pizza."

Tony looked even more lost than he was before.

"Ok, I don't know what I'm supposed to make of this. FRIDAY, show me footage of what the hell happened while I wasn't here."

"Sure thing boss."

Friday pulled up security footage of Harley and Peter's conversation. Tony watched it as the two teens were snickering behind him. After he understood the situation he turned to his kids and let out a tired sigh.

"Ok, I don't understand your sense of humor, but I came to tell you that we're having Italian for dinner."

Peter pumped his fist and Harley just shrugged.

"Italian is fine by me I guess."

"All right kiddos, be in the dining room by 7ish or else I'll cut the power to these labs. We eat as a family."

*Time skip*

It was 2 am, Monday morning and everything was silent except for the faint noise of shuffling towards the ceiling.

Clint Barton was crawling around in the vents, obviously on his way to do something he probably shouldn't be.

He had lost a bet with Nat earlier and the punishment was that he had to steal something for blackmail off of FRIDAY's databases.

He quietly dropped out of a vent shaft into an important looking office. He didn't bother checking who it belonged to but he was already too far gone to ask.

"Ok Nat, what do you want me to look for?" He whispered into his earpiece.

"Check the computer on the desk. The password is written on a sticky note in your pocket."

He checked his pocket and there was indeed a post it with a password on it.

"Ok, what am I supposed to find?" He asked once he logged in.

"Look for footage from the labs." She said. "Check labs CTS2 and IAI1."

"CTS2 and IAI1, gotcha." He reaffirmed.

He browsed around until he found the cameras he needed.

"Ok, found em. What dates should I look at?"

"Look at this past Friday," She answered, "around 4:45 to 6:15 pm. Tony drank from a can of motor oil instead of his coffee cup. I would like this footage in my posession. For my entertainment, and possibly blackmail to pull on him."

"All righty, ok, uhhhh." He muttered as he searched through that window of time.

He watched snippets of the footage and fast forwarded a few times until he glimpsed footage of Harley swiveling around in his chair as Peter looked exasperated. He paused and rewound to see what the situation was.

As Clint watched the whole argument play out and the aftermath, a shit eating grin began to spread across his face. He emailed himself the whole interaction for his own entertainment (blackmail, cough cough) and went back to searching for what he originally came for. He eventually found it, sent it to Natasha, logged out of the computer, and climbed into the open vent.

"You get it?" Nat asked suspiciously.

"Oh yeah, I got it." He said, trying to hold back the mischievous laughter that was threatening to let loose. He checked his phone to see whether he got the email he sent to himself. But to his surprise and sudden panic, it was not there. His social media, however, was blowing up with comments about the two kids and who they were and theories people were spouting.

"Oh shit."

"What did you do, Clinton?" Nat asked in a threateningly monotone voice.

Clint banged his head on the vent, forgetting that he still had his comms on.

"I may or may not have accidentally exposed Peter and Harley as Tony's kids."

Nat was silent for a moment before she finally responded.

"Tony's probably going to kill you for this, so you should pack your bags right now. Make funeral arrangements as well and update your will."

"Ah shit."

*Monday morning, 6:45 am*

Peter woke up to his phone ringing. He groaned and turned on his side to ignore the call. The phone rang again and he sighed before reluctantly sitting up and grabbing his phone.

What the hell, who's calling this early?

He looked at his notifications and saw multiple missed calls and texts from Ned and MJ. Something must have happened because Ned had typed in all caps, 'PETER EVERYONE KNOWS! CALL ME NOW!' MJ's text just said, 'I knew already. Don't try to hide it from me whenever you come to school.'

Instantly, Peter was wide awake. Did the whole world know he was Spiderman? But how did this happen, who would leak that information and how did they get it?

He called Ned and before he could even say, "What's up?" Ned butted in with a sentence he was not expecting.

"Peter, when were you going to tell me your dad was Tony Stark?! This is even bigger than Spiderman! As your Guy in the Chair, I think this knowledge might have been missing in our conversations."

Peter was at a loss for words as he stood up.

"It's all over social media and people are going apeshit over this!"

"Ned, you shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet." Peter replied in a nervous tone as he began pacing back and forth in his room. "How do you know the source is credible? Remember what Ms. Hernandez said about credibility when giving information in an essays or whatever?"

"But Peter, Hawkeye was the one who posted it. You know, the Avenger who shoots arrows?"

Peter stopped pacing and froze midstep.

Uncle Clint was behind this? But why?

"You sure he wasn't hacked?" Peter asked as he feebly attempted to get out of this confrontation.

"No, it's security footage from a lab. Tony said in the video that you guys were a family."

Peter then realized that he couldn't worm his way out of this situation. The whole world knew he and Harley were brothers and the sons of Tony Stark. Of course this happened, why wouldn't it?

"I'm going to call you back, I need to talk to Clint." Peter said.

"Ok, just let me know if you and Harley are going to be ok or not." Ned replied.

"Bye Ned."

"Bye."

Peter hung up and took a deep breath before leaving his room to go find Clint.

He entered the kitchen and almost everyone was there except the one person he wanted to talk to.

"Hey, uh, where's uncle Clint?" Peter asked.

Uncle Steve looked up from his breakfast.

"He left last night. Family emergency."

"Uh huh, so correct me if I'm wrong but Clint left because dad was going to kill him, right?"

Suddenly everyone was avoiding eye contact with Peter. Yup, everyone knew what happened.

Just then, Tony walked in with a very irritated expression.

"I don't think you and Harley are going to be able to go to school today. Some kid from your school, Dash or something posted you go to school with him and know you both. So there are multiple news stations outside the tower and surrounding your school. Might be best to just stay home today."

"Is Uncle Clint still alive?" Harley asked as he walked in, yawning.

"He is alive," Tony responded "Not for much longer though."

"Dad, you can't just kill him." Peter protested. "It's not like he actually did anything that warrants his death."

"I don't think he meant to do it." Harley added. "He deleted it maybe 10 minutes after he posted it but other people recorded it on their own devices and re shared it. He probably realized what he had done and tried to delete it but of course, once it's out there, it's out there."

"Don't kill Uncle Clint, he's got a wife and kids. Besides, we need him on the team." Peter said.

"We don't need Clint," Tony said, waving his hand. "I already got a replacement set up."

Peter had not heard of this new team member that was apparently going to replace Clint.

"Who is it?" Harley asked curiously.

"Kate Bishop. She's already on her way here. Clint trained her to take over the mantle of Hawkeye anyway so it shouldn't be that big a deal." Tony shrugged. "She's a bit older than you two, 18 or 19, I can't remember at the moment."

"Ok, then, as long as she's trusted by you." Peter relented.

"Don't know what she might be like, but if Clint trained her, and they share similar personalities, whatever spirits above help us." Harley said solemnly.

Peter smacked Harley's arm.

"Hey!" He complained.

"She's not even here yet and you are badmouthing her already. Have some manners, dude."

"It doesn't matter at the moment right? You said it yourself, she's not here yet and I will 'have some manners' when she does."

All of a sudden, Peter heard a nearly imperceptible shuffling coming from above. He felt a shiver go down his spine and the instinct to get into a defensive position.

"He's right, you should have some manners young man." An unfamiliar voice boomed from above.

Harley looked around wildly in confusion.

"Who's there?! Are you a spirit from above???" He asked.

All of a sudden, a figure dropped out of the vent directly above Harley and tackled him to the ground.

"And that is Kate Bishop." Tony said, answering the question in everyone's mind.

Kate released Harley from her grip and she helped him up.

"Clint was right," She said, smiling. "Crawling through the vents to prank people is fun."

She looked up to the open vent and held out her arms, to everyone's confusion.

"Lucky, come on down!" She called.

To everyone's shock, a dog with one good eye poked his head out from the vent and jumped into Kate's arms.

"Oh crap, nobody has allergies to dog dander, right?" Kate asked, looking at everyone.

"Maybe? I'm not sure." Peter replied.

"Damn, I should have checked before bringing him, huh." Kate muttered.

Tony waved his hand at the dog.

"As long as he's potty trained, we should be fine." He said, trying to reassure her worries. "We're all fine with dogs."

Peter thought back to all the dogs he's pet on patrol. They always seemed happy to play with him and now there was a dog in the tower. Huzzah, he didn't get to only pet dogs on patrol now!

"Well, all's well that ends well, right?" Peter said.

"How about everyone gets acquainted with Kate?" Tony suggested. "It's not like you two are going to school today anyway."

Peter and Harley agreed and that day became a get to know the new team member day.

Peter texted Ned to let him know he was going to school the next day and invited him to the tower after school to meet someone. Oh the look on Ned's face when he found out would be priceless.

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@frostedgiant

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[nightowlfandom]

Kim Taehyung- Amor Fabula~Sound Of Heart (ALSO 200th POST, WEEEE)

Alrighty my friends! Let’s skip the casual talk and hop right into it! Once again this is part of the Amor Fabula Saga over on the @btswriterscorner​ blog.

Bro...life has been kicking my ass and it’s literally killing me on the inside like wow why does Earth hate me right now?...but Ima push that aside to get this deadline done.

Let’s begin. (I felt like changing it up from ‘leggo’)

...

It was foreign to him. He didn’t know what it meant let alone how to feel it. He walls were so high up, they could rival the gates of heaven. No one knew why. What had hurt him to the point where he was so angry at the very idea of love, or even companionship?

You were the opposite. Not only were you in love with the idea of love, but you seemed to attract it in more ways than one. Whether from your friends, or even random strangers. Even if you had none of those things, the word just seemed to radiate off you like heat radiated off the sun.

With all that being said, make no mistake. You weren’t interested in trying to fix a broken man. You already had yourself to worry about. Who were you to try to love a man who hated the word almost as much as he seemed to hate himself? Who was he to fool himself into thinking anyone could care for him?

These are the questions that need to be answered in today’s world.

...

You were walking down the halls of the office building, staring down at your phone. Deleting emails required a whole other level of focus. You could barely muster an audible hello to the front desk woman who seemed to be in her own little world as well.

“Y/N! “ your work friend, Yuna rushed to your side.

“Hm?” you mumbled, looking up from your phone. You lowered the device and put it in your pocket. “What’s up?” You were on your way to the lounge room when she ran up. She looked a hot mess. Hair sticking up in strange places, sweating bullets, and you were sure she had hauled herself over traffic by foot just to tell you the news.

“It’s The chairman’s son!” she managed to get out.

“What about the chairman’s son?” You curiously raised an eyebrow. “Is he in town to tell us that we’re all trash and should be fired?”

“No, not Duke. The youngest one!”

“You mean...Taehyung? His adoptive son, right??” you raised an eyebrow, just to make sure you and her were on the same page. “The chairman has so many children I don’t even keep count.”

“Yes! He’s the new CEO!” she looked both pissed off and absolutely mortified. “ I just saw him fire Rai and Sera in front of everybody!”

“I would think you’d be excited for that. You hate them. “ You huffed, not really seeing what she was on about. “Like last week you were talking about how you wished Sera would literally get hit by a train.”

“Okay but he sent the both of them out crying! Like he was so harsh it wasn’t even funny enough for me to crack a smile.” she explained.

That was when you realized she was absolutely serious. “Wait...The chairman really stepped down?” you paused. “The original chairman, I mean. I thought he was going into-”

“Change of plans.” she knew exactly what you were going to say. “The chairman insisted. Apparently he’s an old man and all his companies need someone to watch over them while he focuses on his retirement. Taehyung was the first person to offer.”

“Yuna, are you for real?” you grabbed her shoulders. “Be serious.”

“Yes!” she nodded quickly. “Taehyung just sent an email that he’s making cuts to every department!” she looked like she was about to freak out. “I can’t get fired! I’ve worked so hard Y/N!”  She looked like she was about to cry and you didn’t like that at all.

“Yuna, calm down! I’m sure the chairman wouldn’t allow that.” you shook your head. “Just because he’s boss now doesn’t mean he can get rid of us.”

“Y/N I love your optimism but you don’t know that for sure.” Yuna looked unsure. “I mean look at us, he’s probably gonna turn this place into a warehouse and just work us all to death! I’m not some kind of puppet! WE’RE GONNA TURN INTO SLUDGE. SLUDGE DOES NOT LOOK GOOD IN HIGH HEELS.”

“Listen, Yuna. I’m not gonna let that daddy’s boy fire you or me. He’ll have to say it to my face before I let him say it to yours.” you seethed.

“Is that so?”

You and Yuna both froze in place.

‘He behind me isn’t he?’ You whispered. She slowly nodded, which made you grumble profanities under your breath. You whipped around and saw the daddy’s boy himself.

“You must be Y/N...you were always my father’s favorite.” he crossed his arms. “I can’t see why.”

“Excuse me?” you put a hand on your hip. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly how it sounds Miss. L/N. My father speaks highly of both you and your friend but from what I’ve seen, those accolades are undeserved and could very much be replaced by those who are more qualified, wouldn’t you say?”

Now you were aware of what was going on. He was trying to rile you up. It was working...but not well enough.

“Well..Mr.Kim.” you sighed, straightening out your shoulders. “ I’m sorry you feel that way.” you bowed respectfully. “I’ll make sure to do better to prove to you that I’m a worthy member of the new team you end up building...Yuna, are you coming?” you went to walk past him, Yuna on your tail.

“I think you made him mad!”

“Good, people like him are better off that way anyways. He might be the new boss but as long we we’re in the same age group, he has no power over me. Fuck his rules.”

“Y/N, you don’t know who Taehyung is do you? Like what he does?”

“Not really and I can’t say I care too much.” you scoffed. ‘Why?”

“Kim Taehyung is the current president of the Lottery division for the government.” Yuna stopped you two from walking. “You know that thing where your parents are in charge of giving you a new husband?”

“Yeah? But I haven’t spoken to my parents in 3 years...you know this.” you narrowed your eyebrows at her. Your parents were a touchy subject and you hated talking about them. “What does that have to do with the anything?”

“If your parents don’t decide...HE does.” she emphasized. “Seriously do you even watch the news?”

“No.” you shook your head. “It’s depressing and stupid.” you huffed. “I don’t exactly follow politic either.”

“Well you need to start. Police officers, corrupt politicians...they got nothing on that guy. He’s the most feared man in this government because the population depends on him. I heard he made his ex who cheated on him marry a convicted felon.”

“Then why would he take the role of CEO for a company that has nothing to do with the government?”

“...So he can see whose life he wants to ruin first...either that, or he’s planning something big and needs a time waster like working for a small company like this one.”

You didn’t flinch...at least not on the outside. Yeah you knew about the Sweep Lottery, you just hated thinking about it. You were hoping you could avoid it until the time came. Guess that plan wasn’t going to work.

...

It wasn’t even half a year with Taehyung as the new head of the company and everyone was already miserable! You all were being worked to the bone and you were positive a few team members had quit. 5 months of being yelled at and ridiculed for no reason other than the fact that he was your boss.

“Who does he think he is!” Yuna snapped. “And we can’t even talk to the chairman! He’s in Hawaii for the weekend.”

“He’s literally going to run what Mr. Kim had worked so hard to build into the ground. I can’t stand him!” another friend, Rina kicked back another shot of who knew what. It definitely wasn’t soju. “I swear if I was allowed to, I’d run him over.”

“You guys I don’t like this anymore than you do but-”

“YOU JERK!” You were cut off when a high-pitched scream ripped through the small restaurant. You, Rina, and Yuna all turned to the commotion. A girl was getting ready to throw a drink at someone, but not just anyone.

“Is that Taehyung?!” Rina managed to get the words out through her drunken hiccups. Rina was right, Taehyung was at the receiving end of all that commotion. He just stood there with a partially amused look on his face as the girl ran off screaming at the top of her lungs.

“How much you guys wanna bet he steals baby kittens in his freetime?” you mumbled. Taehyung must have heard your laughing because he turned towards your group. While you and Rina laughed amongst yourselves, Yuna held up her glass in a ‘cheers’ motion as she also held up the middle finger with her free hand.  He looked as if he genuinely couldn’t care less until his eyes landed on yours. All you could do was make a heartbreak motion with your hands as your turned back towards your friends. Serves him right.

As the night carried on, you and your friends carried on too. You decided you all drank enough for the night as just made time to enjoy yourselves. You couldn’t help but think of what happened earlier with Taehyung though. That girl just technically embarrassed him and he brushed it off. It made you wonder exactly what he was hiding. Or why he didn’t care.

...

You were now sitting at the bar by yourself. Yuna had taken Rina’s drunk ass home and you hung behind just to gather your thoughts to yourself. If Yuna was right. It just made him look like a huge jerk.

“Bet you thought that was funny, did you?”

You turned around and saw Taehyung standing behind you.

“Absolutely.” you replied honestly. “Side splittingly hilarious.” you said in monotone, lifting your drink to your lips. “Let me guess...a girlfriend of yours?”

“I don’t exactly see you here with a boyfriend.” he rolled his eyes. “Can I sit?”

“Relationships are useless in this country. Go ahead.” you sighed. “...sucks doesn’t it?” you giggled.

“Yeah.” he grumbled. “Mind if I drink?”

You figured since you weren’t at work, you could hold off on hating his guts for a while. You handed your full glass over to him. You stared at him as he took a sip of the liquor.  

“Fuck...” he groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Be honest with me, am I an asshole?”

“Yes.” you answered quickly. “A huge festering, fissuring, painfully obvious asshole.”

“Right.” he sighed, sliding the glass over to you. “Figured as such. I can set people up but can’t seem to find myself a mate.”

“Well are you looking for a wife or a baby-maker.” you scoffed, causing him to laugh. “Whatever works for you, I guess.” you shrugged. “You are the one who calls the shots. Someone else could always do it for you.”

“Don’t remind me.” he glared. “Really, don’t.” he hiccuped. “I can’t even talk to a woman without her wanting to kill me. Half the time I’m not even the one doing the Sweep.”

“Like that girl from earlier?”

“No...and she wasn’t my girlfriend either. She threw her drink at me because I appointed her sister to marry boyfriend that apparently was hers.”

“Harsh.” you laughed. “Well, you only have yourself to blame. Taking love and happiness from others must be so tiring you joked.”

You suddenly noticed a lot of people in the bar were glaring potholes into Taehyung’s head. The looks they gave you varied on the pity spectrum. It was easy to see that Taehyung wasn’t the most popular man in town. It must have gave them pleasure seeing that girl throw a drink in his face.

“Well if the people of this country know the rules on government mandated marriage, then they should know what they’re getting themselves into before hand.” he rebutted. “....I overheard you and Yuna talking. You said something about your parents.”

“And the fact that I hate them?” you questioned. “Why?”

“Just wondering why you hate them so much.” he shrugged. “If you want to talk about it.

“...I caught my l mother cheating on my father with a younger man when I was young. My mother cheated on him every week and to an extent I even found her with one of my old high school classmates.” you huffed. “My father ran off with his accountant.” you explained. “Then again they hated each other when they got together.” you laughed. “So much for a loving household. That’s just what the lottery sweep does, right?” you jumped to your feet. “Well, I’m out of here.”

“You’re leaving?” he turned to look at you.

“I don’t exactly have a reason to stay here.” you tilted your head the side.

“The bar or...something else.” he trailed off.

“...Yes.” you replied, not really telling him what you were talking about.

...

To say that you were surprised to see Rina blazing mad. She walked up to you, a red envelope in her hand. However she instantly went from being pissed to absolutely defeated.

“He’s done it.” she quivered in her shoes. She thrust the envelope in your hands. “Read it.” she couldn’t even look at you.

“Um...Okay?” you trailed off, growing very concerned.  “Did he fire you?”

“Even worse...just read.”

“ Rina Hiroka, the government is pleased to announce that you have been chosen from the random computer generated list of all the women in the country. You will be engaged to marry...Sung Robin by this time next year?!- Rina you’re kidding me!”

“It’s right there! I got the envelope at my door this morning!” she began to freak out. “I’m only 22! They can’t do that can they?” she asked, taking the envelope back from you.

“....I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out..” you seethed, suddenly recalling what Yuna had told you about Taehyung. “I’m gonna kill that little daddy’s boy executive.” you turned around, walking away from Rina.

“Y/N?....Where are you going!”

“To take the trash out.”

...

You didn’t even knock on the door before entering the office. 

“Y/N L/N what makes you think you think you can just burst into my office without knocking first?”

“What makes YOU think you can just marry off Rina like she’s a piece of meat to some random?!” you spat. 

“You don’t understand my line of work.” he casually turned back towards his computer. “Go back to work L/N.”

“Well guess what, I DO know your line of work. I understand real fucking well.” you scoffed, shutting the door behind you. “You are reeaalllly fucking sad, you know that?”

You insult caused him to stand to his feet. “What did you just say to me?”

“You heard me! YOU. ARE. SAD. Rina’s 22, she isn’t even out of college yet!” you pointed accusingly. “Yet you’re gonna marry her off? What is wrong with you old ass government creeps. Do you people get off to basically selling young women?”

“Would you be saying this is Rina wasn’t your close friend?” Taehyung laughed harshly. “Hypocrisy is a bad look on you, Y/N.”

“You’re one to talk!” you snapped. “I bet you make sure your friends end up with the girls on their dreams.” you scoffed. 

“Even if I had friends....rules are rules.”

“One, that doesn’t answer my question, and Two, has it ever occured to you that the reason you don’t have friends is because you...hm I don’t know...ruin lives?”

“Like you’re any better!” Taehyung raised his voice even louder. “I bet some of your beliefs are just as fucked up and wrong.”

“...Oh you wanna go there?” you said lowly. “We can go there if you want...I am so ready to go there.”

“Y/N, just listen to me.”

"Don't you understand what you've done!? You've ruined so many lives in the past and you can't even bear to look at yourself because you know just exactly who the hell you are! I'd rather be delusional than a monster who just takes happiness from others despite everyone...and I DO MEAN EVERYONE stating just how fucked up this stupid lotto is! You want to talk about me and my beliefs...at least my beliefs don't come with emotional baggage."

“You don’t think I know that!?” he suddenly snapped. “I know, trust me I do!”

“Then why. you let me know because I’m having trouble seeing your reasoning.” you crossed your arms.

“I do this because my lottery makes sure that infidelity, adultery, all of that bullshit is obliterated.” he responded. “Times had changed since your parent’s lotto rules. My rules establish that all forms of adultery are to be punished.”

“Oh really, adultery? Adultery! There are a lot more things to think about other than adultery.” you mocked. “Does it end there? What about abuse, what about rules that enable child protection,what about rules about the death of a spouse? Did you think about that?”

Taehyung was silent.

“Has it ever occured to you that maybe you are so cynical that the thought of other people’s free will just pisses you off?” you challenged. “You think you’re helping people but in reality you just can’t bear to realize happy marriages exist.”

“Like you’re any better than me? You think you’re so great and pure? Your squeaky clean image with your can-do-no wrong attitude, Y/N.”

“Please.” you scoffed. “If you’re trying to rile me up you’re failing miserably.” you huffed. “You know what, whatever. I’m gonna get your father, also known as the REAL chairman of this company, on the phone and see what he has to say..” you rolled your eyes, beginning to walk past him.

“Y/N wait!” The voice was pleading. It was surprising enough to make you stop. “Please....I’m sorry. But...I just don’t get it...what the hell even is love? Are people just happy? 60% of marriages ended in divorce so obviously whatever was there before...isn’t there five to ten years down the line.”

“That’s a lie.” you looked away.

“....Look at how your parent’s turned out.” he dared to say. You’re glare was harsh, if even possible at this point.

“Listen...You don’t believe in love. I get that. However, is your selfishness really a determining factor in other people’s lives? My family was broken from the beginning.”

“What I want know is why do YOU believe in love. What about this fucking word- this concept is so important to you..” he sighed, walking up to you.

“Why don’t you” you refused to look at him. “Being told who I’m supposed to end up with...tell me Taehyung...would you want that?”

“I’m not the one who has to worry about it.” he said lowly. 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” you found the wits about you to turn around to face him. “Yes or no?”

“...I can’t answer that.”

“Of course you fucking can’t. My parents hated me...they couldn’t stand me, how I was brought into the world. With all of that hate, and resentment in my heart, Love is the only thing I can turn to to keep me sane. My friends love me, my aunts and uncles love me...and yet-” you paused to laugh harshly. “Yet I can’t seek authentic love from someone else? Especially someone who I’m bound to have an ENTIRE ASS CHILD WITH. Love to me...is the closest thing I have to freedom.” you crossed your arms. “And this isn’t freedom...it’s suffocating.” 

“Well good for you...you done?” he feigned boredom, which pissed you off even more. 

“You don’t get it do you?” you said lowly. “And you never will.” you shook your head. “...You know what? I quit!” you yanked off your nametag. You threw it at him, which bounced off his head.

“Y/N! Y/N get back here!” he called after you. 

When you got into the main hallway, you grabbed your purse and made haste for the lobby. Yuna was comforting Rina at the front desk.

“Y/N? Y/N?! Where are you going?” Yuna called after you. 

“I quit.” you mumbled in response, stopping in place. “I can’t work here with him. I just can’t.” you reasoned. 

“So you’re just gonna quit? What are you gonna do?” Rina paused her sobbing session. “I hope you didn’t quit because of me.”

“It isn’t just you.” you shook your head. “It’s him, and his ways on thinking and he-”

“Is walking up right behind you.” Yuna finished. 

“What what I was gonna say, but-AAH!”

You felt something grab your arm and begin to pull you along. Taehyung was walking back in the direction of his office where you came from. 

“Hey! Let me go! This is kidnap! Who do you think you are!?” 

Just like that, you were taken back to his office. You were practically thrown into a chair. “Y’know this defeats the purpose of my quitting if I’m just gonna come right back!” you protested. “What do you want...”

“Teach me how to love.” were his only words. 

“Excuse me?” you raised an eyebrow. “Teach you.”

“Y-yes! Since I’m so heartless and cruel like you think I am so...you’re gonna show me what love is...and how to do it.” his words made you laugh.

“Y-you want me..to show you what love is.” you burst into a fit of laughter. You quickly stopped when you saw he was dead serious. “Oh...you’re being serious?”

“I never kid, Y/N.” he raised an eyebrow. “ Since you seem so intent that I’m just some broken man-”

“I never said you were broken.” you cut him off. 

“You didn’t have to...so you’re going to teach me what love is and if people can really survive with it.” 

“How exactly are we gonna get you to believe in love?”

“We’re gonna get married.”

His words almost made you choke on air. “W-wait! Me and you?! Get married?!” you widened your eyes at his literal proposal. “Hold on a second!”

“We’re gonna live together, sleep in the same bed, and do all the things you’re supposed to do in a marriage and if you can get me to fall in love...and fall hard...then ‘ll get rid of the Sweep Lottery.” 

Now you were interested, not only because you were surprised he had the power to even do that, but because of the deal he was making.

“You have a year.” he didn’t give you time to verify or deny his proposition. “Do you accept?”

“So you really expect to understand the concept of love in 12 months?” you asked honestly. 

“Fine...we’ll be married for two years.” the expression never left his face. “Do you accept?”

You had to marinate on the subject. You have to prove to Taehyung that love was real, in two years. You had to get married to this guy in order to prove a point. Were you that stubborn? Call it selfish, but you were really so desperate to go against this man to prove something. Were you ready to rub such a thing in his face.

“....Bring it on.”

(I meant to post this around 3PM...then life got in the way so you’re getting it at 4:15 as I finish typing)

[lonelypond]

Tiger By The Tail, Ch. 3

NicoMaki, NozoEli, RinPana, KotoUmi, Love Live, 2K, 3/?

Summary: The plan to distract Nico begins...and our last Japanese tourist arrives.

Chapter Three

Nozomi read the email again. It sounded like Umi, polite, formal, composed, requesting Nozomi do some research on local possibilities for photo shoots, which Nozomi was planning anyway, until the last line, which read, “Please refrain from discussing this with Nico as I do not wish to undermine her confidence in Kotori’s designs” which if you had made a study of Umi’s habits, sounded like panic. Rin bounced behind Nozomi, shaking her head, drops of water flicking Nozomi, “What are we doing, boss?”

Nozomi considered how much to tell Rin, who was very very bad at not blurting out the very thing anyone was trying to keep out of the conversation. Just keep Rin focused on task, so that she didn’t give anything away to Nico, who was ALWAYS looking for what was going to go wrong.

“We’re going to drive around and check out locations, then I’ll meet Eli for dinner and see what she has to suggest.”

“Ooohh, Eli seems really cool. I bet she’ll have some great ideas for us.” Rin’s eyes gleamed. Nozomi was almost certain Eli had meant a private discussion but Nozomi couldn’t strand Rin; maybe Nico would want dinner company?

“Let’s head out and tell Nico what the plan is.” Nozomi tucked her phone away, response to Umi sent.

Rin saluted, grabbing a sweater from the top bunk, “You got it.”

###

Nico, under a stack of blankets, was scrolling through a playlist on the screen in the living room, frowning. “Nico should be on here.” She switched to search function, pulling up her latest video, watching it again, with a critical eye. They definitely needed a better lighting set up. Nozomi had talked about renting gear.

“Nico meets her biggest fan every morning in the mirror.” Nozomi pulled on the top blanket, as she leaned over the couch, to grab for the remote. Nico’s viewing choice was no surprise. It was barely worth the tease, but Nozomi was on task.

“If Nico doesn’t like it…” Nico began.

“No one will ever see it.” Rin interjected, batting an ornament on the Christmas tree to watch it spin. “But this cover’s great Nico. Why are you frowning at it?”

Before Nico could answer the front door banged open and Honoka came barrelling through the hall, hung a turn at the kitchen and nearly fell over the back of the couch Nico was sitting on.

“Nico!” Shouted. As if Nico weren’t two cushions away. “Umi says you have to come now. Kotori needs you to try on the clothes. Since there wasn’t a fitting.” Honoka bobbed up and down, arms on the couch, Nico staring at her. “It’s important.”

Nico huffed and turned off the screen, her English curt. “Nico might be busy.”

“But you’re not.” Nozomi poked Nico.

“And you’re here for the clothes, right. So they have to fit.” Honoka’s bright eyes were so wide and innocent that not even Nico could find a spark to start an argument.

Enjoying the stares of everyone in the room while she decided, Nico took a minute before levering herself off the couch. “Yes.”

“Yippee!!” More shouting. “I’ll text Umi we’re coming now.” Honoka jumped, pumping a fist. Nico instinctively went into cautious older sibling mode, not quite frowning, but squelching Honoka’s exuberance with delay.

“Nico needs clothes.” Nico was not meeting Umi’s stylish friend the designer for the first time in leggings and a sweatshirt. She had acquired a designer outfit specifically for this situation, so Kotori would know she was dealing with a real professional. “Nico will go soon.”

“Cool.” Honoka pulled out her phone, typing rapidly.

Nozomi and Rin had their coats on, “We’ll see you later, Nico.”

Nico flashed her signature gesture, “Nico Ni will knock you out.”

Honoka was ignoring the Japanese, continuing her text conversation with Umi, Nico guessed. Umi would be a proper audience. She never let Nico down.

###

Shut out everything else, Maki told herself as she locked the door behind her and approached the piano. A certain amount of ritual was involved in this moment, not quite approaching an altar or a lover levels of depth, but a gathering of emotions, a tension, a familiarity as Maki sat on the bench, rested a hand for a moment on the polished, warming wood of the fallboard, revealing the keys, the cool welcome against her fingertips, the demand for effort, for excellence, for passion...Maki leaned back, maybe a little more like a lover than a shrine, not that she’d had much experience with either. But the piano was a means, an ally, a key to a language that actually allowed Maki the freedom to express everything that bottled up in her throat and chest. Maybe her mouth wasn’t made for expressing the turmoil twisting itself out of expectation and others, but with her fingers, her arms, her body, she could shout for space, for, ironically, a moment of quiet, to just settle enough to know what it was she wanted. She wondered what it would be like to...Maki didn’t even know the words for it, it was an action, a feeling, a slam, a collision, into something that held, that would let her just be.

Maki didn’t know what she was playing, she had no space to listen, everything was being driven into the piano, to transform into the pieces of Maki that kept spinning away. Was there anyone here to listen, to hear?

###

The clothes were impressive. Just the pictures had gotten Nico on a plane, flying across a huge ocean. Umi had impeccable taste so Nico knew when Umi pitched the project it would be something spectacular. Nico had also not been unaware of Umi’s gloom since the very kind and decorative Kotori Minami had ended her internship at the atelier and returned home. Now, while Nico herself was an independent modern career woman, she didn’t fault anyone who managed to find someone to get sentimental about. Yes, she totally judged Tojo, who seemed to have mastered the casual weekend relationship. Nico would not have flown across an ocean if Nozomi had pitched the project. But for Umi, Nico shrugged, and smiled at Kotori, who was a whisper of steel and grace, answering all of Nico’s questions without hesitation. Nico couldn’t put the pieces down, the textures, the lightness, the way the light caught additional colors, none of that had been in the sketches and all of it was magical. Nico found herself getting excited as she imagined the photos, the camera turning her natural charisma up by 1000 when wrapped in these beautiful slices of artistry.

“Yazawa-san…” Kotori started.

“Nico.” Nico waved an invitation to intimacy as she put down a white blanket robe that seemed to contain in its threads the silver glimmer magic of first snow at midnight. Kotori was finishing that piece, she’d wanted to see it on Nico so that the painted on kanji could be placed in the proper locations. Umi had been confirming the order of strokes, offering to do the calligraphy herself, but Kotori seemed reluctant to put that responsibility on the other woman. Nico wondered if the seamstress realized how seriously Umi took the samurai’s mastery of both sword and brush.

Kotori reached for her chalk, “Nico...thank you, now that I’ve seen this, I can mark the locations.”

“Once again, Kotori, if you want me to, I would be more than happy…” Umi stepped forward.

“Oh, I couldn’t…” Kotori shrugged, demurring, “this is all of this fabric I have, any mistake...you’re very sweet, but...”

Nico couldn’t take the look on Umi’s face, like the damsel in distress had turned down the rescue and was slowly freezing in the ice tower. She coughed, drawing the focus back to Nico, “Maybe Umi could demonstrate her talents on another fabric, similar in texture.” Nico bowed, “Nico will cover the costs. For an original Sonoda.”

Umi blushed, Nico raised a hand to cover her own mouth, pretending modesty, but actually covering a broad grin at Umi’s embarrassment.

“Oh…” Kotori glanced from one to the other, giggling, “I’m sure Umi’s talents are more than up to the job, I just thought…”

Nico gave in and laughed at her friend’s grand gestures as Umi bowed, “I will not disappoint either of you.”

Now see, if there had been someone like Umi, serious and stunning and silly and too easy to tease, in Nico’s life, interested in more than friendship, the rising pop star might have made a little time for something that wasn’t her career.

###

Eli was surprised to find she had not a family standing in her office, but one client, a small, mousy, bundled up in layers woman by the name of Koizumi Hanayo, visiting New England with her parents, who had stayed in Boston. Eli had a good reputation among Japanese tourists, but solitary guests were unusual. Groups of co workers were more common. Not that Eli would let this throw her off stride. . “Hi, I’m Eli Ayase. Nice to meet you.” Eli offered a hand, Hanayo shaking it timidly while muttering something Eli couldn’t quite make out.

“Sorry,” Eli leaned down, “I couldn’t hear you.”

Hanayo leapt back, the earflaps on her hat a comedy short of their own, “Sorry.”

“Please take a seat.” Eli indicated the chair opposite hers and sat behind the computer, “Do you downhill or cross country ski?”

Another mutter.

Eli smiled broader, her voice encouraging. “You’ll have to speak up. I’m sorry.”

The young woman took a huge breath, her hands clasped in her lap, raised her head, blinking eyelashes over shy violet eyes, her Japanese rapid, “Neither, Ayase-san. I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Eli slouched a little, shoulders opening, trying every body language trick she could think of to be less intimidating. “Most of my clients just...already like the outdoors.”

Hanayo shook her head, “My parents hired you. They are worried that I’m…” Hanayo fidgeted, “neet.”

Eli was confused, “They think you’re too tidy?”

Hanayo sighed, “Do you know what otaku means?”

Eli typed it into her computer. “You’re an anime fan?”

“Idol.”

“Idol?”

“Singers. Pop stars.”

“Oh.” Eli had heard of that. “Like Babymetal?”

Hanayo’s eyes went wide as she squeaked, “You know them? Aren’t they amazing. I just love…”

“I’m not a huge fan.” Glad that she had finally gotten a reaction out of her charge, Eli didn’t want the young woman to slip back into embarrassment, “but my friends were talking about their last North American tour.” Eli turned away from her computer, “So your parents sent you here for some healthy outdoor activities. And hired me for the parts of the week I had available.”

Hanayo nodded, “They have business in Boston. They didn’t want to leave me in Japan alone over the holidays.”

“Where are you staying?”

“Hotel.”

“I have a friend with a B and B, maybe they’ll have a room. There’s a friendly group from Japan there right now.”

“Really?” Hanayo looked interested.

“Cute girls too.” Eli winked, expecting Hanayo to blush or be flustered...but her client had just leaned forward, a spark behind her glasses.

“And they might have a room?”

“I’ll have to ask Honoka. They might be booked. It’s…” Eli frowned, trying to remember the name of Nozomi’s client, she’d looked her up, “Yazawa Nico.”

“NICO NI!” Hanayo was on her feet instantly, shoving Eli’s desk back, demonstrating unexpected and impressive lung capacity, “NICO NI is here? I have to meet her.” Hanayo started for the door.

“Slow down.” Eli was on her feet, hand out, “First we have to find a winter sport for you. Your parents requested pictures. I can’t afford a refund.”

“Oh.” Hanayo collapsed in her chair.

“But after that, I’m meeting Nozomi and if you don’t have any plans, you can come along.” Eli suspected that even if Hanayo had already made plans, they would be quickly cancelled.

With a great deal of effort to not throw herself at Eli or the door, Hanayo spoke in a more normal tone. “Thank you, Ayase-san.”

“Just call me Eli,” Eli grinned, and pulled up her contact list, “Now what do you think about ice skating?”

[xxx-cat-xxx]

Surprises

For @whumphoarder​. Happy Happy Happy Birthday, Bethany!

This is set in my favourite alternative universe where everyone’s alive after Endgame and staying together at the reconstructed Avengers compound. Fluff & Humour.

Thanks to @sallyidss​ for beta reading!

_____________________

It’s 2am on a Friday night and Tony is sitting his lab, working on the solar-powered spider car he is planning to give Peter for his birthday. 

The gift had technically been ready a week ago, but then Morgan broke into the lab and spent a happy afternoon using various spray paints to add a personal touch to the vehicle - a cute gesture, but Tony doubts whether Peter would want a car with a five-year old’s “golden glitter spiders” painted all over it. Tony came down to the workshop hours ago - originally only in order to clean the mess, but then he got the sudden inspiration of adding a pizza slice holder to the passenger door, and after that his ideas only kept multiplying, and who needs sleep anyway?

He’s currently bent over his StarkPad, completely immersed in updating the safety system once again, when something pokes him in the shoulder.

“Oh yeah, coffee sounds great,” Tony mutters and turns around, fully expecting to see his self-propelled cup holder hovering next to him with his hourly dose of caffeine. 

Instead, his gaze falls onto a very bloody kid. 

“What on earth?” Tony exclaims. With a quick gesture, he orders DUM-E to pull a cover over the car on the other side of the lab, hoping that Peter hasn’t taken notice. 

“Uhm, Mr. Stark, I can explain…” Peter mumbles. 

“What happened, kid?” Tony asks, stunned. Peter is pressing a rag against a wound on his ribcage, which seems to be the main source for the blood, but it’s all over his body, some drops have even made it to his hair. “I thought you went to sleep, not crime fighting!”

“No, this wasn’t a criminal - it was Black Widow’s knives,” Peter admits sheepishly.

“What?” Tony frowns. “Nat’s not even in the country!”

“No, no, not Natasha - I got cut by the knives in her cabinet-”

“You opened Natasha’s cabinet? Are you mad?”

“No, Mr. Stark, just listen, please! Cassie and I had a bet that I couldn’t do a triple backflip without touching the ground, but Captain Rogers and Mr. Barnes were wrestling in the gym, so I went to practise in the attic. I got distracted by watching Falcon fly upside down in front of the window... and then I crashed into the cabinet,” he spills without taking a breath in between.

“You...What?” There are so many things wrong with Peter’s explanation that Tony’s doesn’t even know where to start. It definitely seems like a nanny would be a good idea for most of the compound’s inhabitants.

“Uhm…” Peter interrupts, suddenly swaying a little. “I think I should sit down…”

“Shit.” Tony feels his chest goes tight in worry - the lecture can wait for later. He pushes Peter down onto the lab stool. “Okay, let me see.” 

Tony unceremoniously pulls up the boy’s t-shirt and raises his eyebrows at the mess. There are a number of cuts all over his torso, but the most worrying one is an approximately 5-inch slash on his rib cage. “Yeah, this definitely needs stitches,” he assesses.

Peter bites his lip. “I’m sure the spider healing will take care -”

“You know yourself that it won’t, or you wouldn’t have come to me. Come on, let’s move you over there.” Tony wraps an arm around Peter’s shoulders and supports him to the sofa in the corner of the lab. “Lie down, kid. I’ll fix you up.”

“Are you sure you can do this?” Peter asks doubtfully. “No offence, just, you’re not exactly a doctor…” The kids eyes glance at Tony’s left hand, which is trembling a little like usual. 

“Well…” Tony lifts his right arm dramatically, and a needle extends from his index finger. “The perks of being able to design your own prosthetic arm. I got it patented, it’s fully approved to perform simple medical operations.” 

“Wow!” For a moment, Peter seems to have all but forgotten about his injury. “That’s amazing.”

“Amazing is my middle name.” 

(Tony doesn’t mention that the main reason for incorporating the feature is that it provides him with an easy way to avoid consulting medical about his own frequent work injuries.)

“What else do you have in there?” Peter asks, eyes gleaming.

“Anything and everything you can imagine. Sometimes I wish I had thought of something like that earlier, the self-cleaning function would have come in handy while changing Morgan’s diapers…”

Peter chuckles. But when Tony dabs Lidocaine on the wound and goes on to insert a surgical thread into the eye of the needle, he presses his lips together, his face paling.

“What’s wrong, kid?”

“Nothing.” The boy’s voice is shaking a little.

“Sure, Pinocchio.”

“I just - I don’t really like needles,” Peter admits, biting his lip and eyeing the device nervously.

“Oh, kid.” Tony feels for him, but he can’t help but add, “On the plus side, at least I don’t have to worry about you getting an I love Justin Bieber tattoo on your bicep.”

 “Justin Bieber? How old are you?” Peter exclaims in honest shock.

Tony gives him a stern look. “Watch it, boy.” 

Tony hears Peter’s breath quicken when he bends over the boy and pierces his skin with the needle. “So, tell me about that physicist you never shut up about, what’s his name? Saran Wrap Twigson?” 

“Søren Thygesen!” Peter corrects indignantly. “You totally know his name.”

“What’s his newest discovery?”

“You’re just trying to distract me,” Peter points out. He flinches when Tony places the next stitch.

“Never, kid,” Tony says in fake earnestness. “So, Søren Thygesen. He plays the, what was it, saxophone? Bagpipe?”

“Didgeridoo,” Peter grumbles. “He even won a national competition in Denmark, it’s all on YouTube.”

“What did he have to say about NASA’s newest Mars mission?”

When Peter doesn’t respond, Tony glances up between the careful movements of his fingers. The kid’s face has taken on a slightly dazed look and he is swallowing thickly. 

“Don’t puke on me,” Tony warns.

“Huh?” 

“I know that look from Morgan. That’s the I’m going to barf in the next five minutes face.”

“Nah, I’m good.” Peter swallows once more. It’s more like a gulp this time. He glances down at the needle. “Okay, maybe I’m feeling a little queasy.” 

“Uhm.” Tony warily eyes the trash can on the other side of the room, then looks down at his handiwork. “Just hold it for another minute, okay? Two more stitches.”

Peter nods and squeezes his eyes shut. His face has taken on an ashen tint and there is sweat running down his temples. 

Tony finishes the stitches as quickly as possible. “Done,” he sighs with relief. The nanotech of his small finger retracts to reveal a scissor. “Just let me cut-”

“Daddy?” 

Morgan is standing in the door frame, all messy bedhead with a Spider-Man plush toy in her arms. She looks from the blood-covered t-shirt on the ground and the surgery equipment poking out from Tony’s prosthetic hand to the gash on Peter’s chest, and promptly bursts into tears. 

“Hey bud, don’t worry,” Peter mumbles. He struggles to sit up a little straighter and tries for a reassuring smile which quickly morphs into a pained grimace. “I’m fine.” 

Then, without further warning, he leans forward and throws up all over Tony’s pants.

*

Five years of parenting have done wonders for Tony’s patience, but after calming down one puking and one crying kid, changing everyone’s clothes, getting the bots to clean up the lab and settling Morgan back to sleep (and reassuring her about 3000 times that Peter will indeed be fine), he is pretty much at the end of his nerves. 

When he returns to the lab, Peter is waiting on the couch where Tony has left him with a bottle of gatorade and strict orders not to move from there before the end of the night. 

“How’re you holding up?” Tony asks, hoping his tone doesn’t betray his own exhaustion.

“Okay, I guess.” Peter is still pale, but not looking in any immediate danger of being sick or passing out, so Tony counts that as a win.

“Let me see.” The engineer lifts the gauze the kid was pressing against his ribcage. The stitches are neat and regular, and Tony mentally congratulates himself for his precision work. Maybe he’s imagining it, but it looks like the edges of the wound are already starting to grow back together. “I’ll bandage this and then you can go to sleep. You’re staying home tomorrow, and no acrobatics for at least a week.”

“But Mr. Stark, what about the backflip? I bet Cassie for the clip of her dad and Mr. Barton performing Umbrella at the New Year’s party!” 

“Will you stop, please?” Tony growls. “My lecture on responsible behaviour will follow in the morning, once I’m properly awake. But don’t dare to even think about doing anything like that in the attic again.” 

“On second thought…” Peter smiles cheekily, “I kinda did manage the triple backflip before I hit the cabinet, so if I could just get a hand on the security camera feed and show them to Cassie…?” 

Tony sighs. “FRIDAY?” 

“The footage has been sent to Mr. Parker’s email account, Boss.”

“Thanks. Now, on to the important issues…” Tony starts to dress the stitches on Peter’s chest as well as the smaller wounds. Peter stays quiet, but he can’t suppress a wince when the disinfect burns in the cuts.

“Do you want a painkiller?” Tony asks. “Actually, scratch that, I’m ordering you to have one. Dum-E?” 

The robot whirs off obediently to retrieve one of the Super Duper Painkillers Bruce and Tony cooked up for Peter’s enhanced metabolism. 

Meanwhile, Tony finishes the dressing. “That’s done, but no hasty movements with this, you gotta promise-”

There’s a clatter from behind, and then Tony hears Peter suck in a gulp of air through his teeth.

“What?” Tony turns around and sees, to his horror, that Dum-E managed to get entangled in the sheet covering the car and pulled it down completely, revealing the present to Peter.

“Oh my god,” Peter whispers. “Is that for me…?”

“No, I’m designing a red-and-blue cobwebbed-themed car for Hawkeye,” Tony snorts. “You were not supposed to see that. Great work, Dummy.” The robot whirs apologetically. “Yeah, yeah, that’s not gonna help you.”

“A car…oh my god...” Peter’s face is an adorable mixture of shock, surprise, gratitude and awe. 

“It’s not just any car,” Tony clarifies, then stops himself before he can give away the special features - spider legs to take over in dangerous terrain, or the swimming ability, or the wings, oh yeah, the wings... The mechanic has still got some surprises up his sleeve.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark, thank you so much! That’s amazing, that’s, that’s -” the kid is clearly lost for words. He looks at Tony with a huge grin and tears in his puppy eyes that have nothing to do with the pain from his injuries, and the engineer can feel his heart go warm. 

“No big deal,” he dismisses. “Now, take your painkiller and then move over.” 

He fetches the pills from Dum-E and shakes one into Peter’s hand, who swallows it obediently and then shifts on the couch to make space for his mentor. 

Tony groans when he drops into the cushions. He watches as Peter curls up on the other end of the couch. The boy’s eyelids are already drooping, the exhaustion of the day catching up with him. Gratefully, he notices that the pain is slowly dissipating from the kid’s features.

Tony is feeling more wiped out than he usually does after a week-long workshop binge. Kids are a plague. But, he realises with a smile when Peter falls asleep with his arms wrapped around Tony’s legs, they’re worth every second of it.

_____________________

I stole the flying saucer, Søren Thygesen, and the Super Duper Painkiller from whumphoarder’s and @awesomesockes’s wonderful fic universe.

Taglist: @toomuchtoread33  @yepokokfine

All my fics

[raywritesthings]

Wrong Road to the Right Place 11/?

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Oliver Queen, Laurel Lance, Quentin Lance, John Diggle, Thea Queen, Moira Queen, Joanna de la Vega Pairings: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: Laurel finds herself curious about the marks Oliver showed her that night in his bedroom - and the tattoo on his left shoulder stands out in particular. When she discovers its meaning, she finds herself questioning everything she knows about the man she doesn’t want to admit she still loves. *Can also be read on my AO3 page*

As was their habit now, Laurel entered the car after Thea, sharing a quick smile with Oliver as John pulled away from CNRI.

“Hey, can I come over to the club with you guys?” Thea asked. “I wanted to talk to Tommy about something.”

“Alright,” Oliver agreed. “Anything in particular?”

“I was wondering how the hiring process was going. There’s a couple people I know who could use the money.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Thea,” Laurel remarked.

“I thought so,” she said with a satisfied smile. Laurel shook her head as she took out her phone to check for messages. A quick scroll through her news app had her raising her eyebrows.

She passed it over to Oliver. “Have you been following this?”

He skimmed the headline she’d left up. “Well, it’s a good thing we don’t have many investments in antiques.”

Thea looked between them. “Why, what’s going on?”

“Just a story about a jewel thief. They’re saying he uses bombs to coerce people into helping him, and he might be hitting Starling City next,” Laurel explained. Just thinking about how messed up a person had to be to do that kind of thing gave her the creeps.

“Jeez, why not just buy jewels with the bomb money?”

Oliver smirked. “Unfortunately, I think he’d still come up short for the kind of jewels he wants. People put a lot of value on them.”

“We’re here,” Diggle announced, and they all got out of the car. Thea went through the front while the three of them headed into the base through the back door. “So, what’s the plan tonight?”

“What about the Dodger?” Laurel suggested.

“This the bomb guy?” Digg checked. She nodded and handed him her phone for him to read. “We got time for that, Oliver?”

Oliver frowned. “I was going to pay a visit to Ted Williams tonight. He’s stolen millions from people through a pyramid scheme, he’s on the list, and he seems the type to break if you put the right pressure on him.”

“Ideal candidate,” Digg agreed.

Laurel still had some misgivings. “But if this thief is in town, he could get in and out while you’re interrogating Williams.”

“The mission takes priority, Laurel.”

“Well, this guy does use bombs, Oliver.” John had finished scanning the article and passed her phone back. “Does seem pretty dangerous to let him run around unchecked.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do. I can’t exactly be in two places at once,” said Oliver.

An idea came to her. “What if you didn’t have to be?”

“What do you mean?”

“Let me handle Williams,” she said. “I can make a case against him and call him in for negotiations or a settlement, and then we’ll talk. That leaves you free to handle the Dodger.”

“I don’t know if that’s safe, Laurel.”

She rolled her eyes. There was a reason she still hadn’t told him about her lessons with Digg, not to mention her shopping around for an additional trainer. “It’s a legal case, Ollie. The worst I can get is a paper cut. I’ll hit him with the evidence of his pyramid scheme and offer him a deal if he gives us information on the Undertaking.”

Oliver frowned. “I don’t know.”

“We’ll get more done in the same amount of time that way,” John remarked. “Plus, if you go after Dodger instead of Williams, it’ll make it harder for the Dark Archer and his boss to predict our next move.”

“I don’t want anyone knowing what we’re doing,” Oliver agreed. “But if Williams doesn’t break—”

“He will,” Laurel said. “It’s either that, or he’s going to court for his crimes. I’d guess most of the people on that list would do anything to save their own skins.”

“Alright, we’ll try it this way.” Oliver took a seat in front of the computer. “For now, let’s get to work tracking down this Dodger.”

While he and Diggle set to work, she got started pulling together all the information Oliver had recovered about Williams and his pyramid scheme. Even if she wasn’t planning to go to court over this, it would be important to make the proceedings look as legitimate as possible.

Laurel spent the whole next day drawing up papers against Williams to be sent over to his office. She was missing Thea and her assistance, but it was her day off community service. Probably for the best that she didn’t get mixed up in this, come to think of it.

She received an email just before getting ready to log off from Mike Burr, Williams’ attorney, demanding a meeting. Laurel was only too happy to oblige, inviting the pair of them to CNRI the next morning. It was clear Burr wanted to settle this discretely and quickly, which was exactly her aim as well.

While Oliver was out that night she and John squeezed in some more training at the base. As impatient as she was to get really started, she could admit going over these basics was proving more useful than she’d thought. It’d make her all the more ready to begin with a new trainer.

She’d changed back into her usual clothes by the time Oliver returned, frustrated since the Dodger had given both him and the cops the slip, but he and Diggle began drawing up a new plan.

“See, he didn’t get to steal anything, either, so he’ll want to pick up something before he goes,” Digg explained. “If we can figure out the kind of stuff he’s after, we’ll know where he’s planning to strike next.”

“Let me know if I can help.”

“Just get Williams to talk,” Oliver said.

“Oh, I’ll make him sing,” she promised, then smirked. “That’s what I do, right?”

Ollie only turned a dull red this time while John laughed. “Should have left you both wondering.”

She got in the car with the pair of them, going back over some of her notes while they drove to her apartment. To her surprise, Oliver got out of the passenger seat just as she was exiting the car.

“Pretty sure this is my stop,” she remarked. “Not yours.”

“Yeah, well, in case Williams or his lawyer get ideas like Sommers did, I can’t be all the way back at the manor,” he explained. Oliver took her arm and began walking them to the building. “I’ll stay on the couch.”

“I have a guest room.”

He gave a minute shake of the head as they crossed the lobby to the elevator. “Front room is better.”

“Yeah, but Ollie, the couch?”

“A bad mattress was the least of my problems on the island. I’ll be fine.”

Laurel sighed. She knew Oliver had endured terrible conditions, and she respected that he had done so. She just wished he knew he didn’t have to keep subjecting himself to situations like that or measuring pain in those kind of extremes anymore. Just because he could spend a night on the couch didn’t mean he should have to.

She knew better than to argue the point with him now. And as much as she wanted to argue she could take care of herself, she also knew she wasn’t ready to take on the likes of the Triad if Williams went that far. Not yet, anyway.

Laurel got out a mountain of blankets and pillows in an effort to make the couch a little more comfortable, and noticed how Oliver carefully laid his shoes on the floor at one end. She had a feeling he could be ready to jump into them at a moment’s notice if he needed to.

“Try and get some actual sleep, okay?” She requested.

“Don’t worry about me.”

She shook her head. “Worry goes both ways, Ollie.” Laurel walked back to the hallway and paused at her door. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

It was a little difficult settling down at first, knowing he was out there in the next room. Sharing an apartment, if only for one night, just like she’d wanted all those years ago...Laurel drifted off into dreams of a far more pleasant kind than she’d been used to the last five years, though she would never admit them to a living soul.

She woke to the smell of coffee and eggs coming from the kitchen, and she slipped into her robe to follow the scent. Oliver was at the stove, some of his hair sticking up in little tufts here and there, and she couldn’t fight back a smile.

“Helping yourself?”

He looked back at her with a smirk. “I was lucky to find this much in your fridge. But no, these are for you.”

She grabbed two plates anyway and stood with her arms crossed until he split the food and joined her at the table.

“Big day today.”

She nodded and swallowed down her mouthful of eggs. “I guess on the scale of evil, Williams is slightly better than Sommers. No break-in.”

“No,” he agreed. “But we should keep our guard up all the same. He could decide to after you two talk.”

“Well, if we’re making this a habit, then you’re definitely taking the guest room. You can’t fight bad guys if you have a bad back,” she pointed out before he could open his mouth.

Oliver thought it over for a minute. “We’ll see.”

Laurel stood and put her plate in the sink. “I’m going to get ready. Do you, uh, need the shower?”

“I’ll just get one back home. Digg’s on his way to pick me up. We think there might actually be something in my family’s collection we can tempt the Dodger with.”

Laurel left her bedroom door open while she looked through her closet for a change of clothes. In the kitchen, water was running in the sink, and she’d bet anything Oliver had started on the dishes. “How’s that?”

“There’s an auction event tonight. I’ll tell you more about it at lunch.”

“We’re getting lunch, too?”

“We are now,” she heard him reply.

Laurel smiled to herself. She had a feeling that was more to do with how eager Oliver would be to hear whatever intel she obtained from Williams, but that wasn’t a bad thing in her eyes.

“Digg’s here,” Oliver called to her. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you.”

She heard the front door open and shut, and Laurel moved through the rest of her morning routine before heading out herself.

All in all, she was in high spirits when she led Williams and Burr back into the empty conference room at CNRI later that morning. Burr was making a big show at being belligerent.

“You have nothing substantial on my client. You don’t even have a plaintiff.”

Laurel gestured to the other side of the table and sat down as they did, making a show of thumbing through the folder sitting there. “What I have is a pretty big file. Practically the size of a book. And it’s got quite the long list inside,” she added, lifting her eyes to lock with a rapidly paling Williams. “A list that’s been preoccupying Mr. Williams’ thoughts the last few months, if I’m not mistaken.”

“What are you talking about?” The attorney looked between her and Williams. “Ted, what’s she talking about?”

“Get out, Mike,” Williams muttered.

“What?”

“I said get the hell out!”

“You heard your client,” Laurel said with a smirk.

Burr glared at her but had gotten the message from Williams, and he shook his head as he stood and exited the room.

Williams leaned over the table. “How do you know about that list?”

“That’s not important. What is important is what you know, Mr. Williams. Such as the name of the person who wrote it.”

“You’re- you’re kidding, right? I can’t tell you that.”

“If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. We can just go to trial for your pyramid scheme, and you can kiss coaching your son’s soccer team goodbye for a long time.” She glanced up at him. “Your call.”

Williams gaped at her. “This is blackmail.”

“Which is something you’re familiar with, isn’t it? That’s what the list was written for, right?” She pressed. “Who has been blackmailing you, Mr. Williams?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Because whoever is in charge of this isn’t a friend to the people of this city. He’s the one who ordered the copycat archer to take those hostages at Christmas. Whatever else he’s planning has to be stopped, and we both know the police aren’t going to be the ones who do it.”

“And you think you will?” He nearly laughed.

“If not me, then someone. I think we both know there’s another archer who’s pretty keen on the list.” She shrugged. “You can talk to him instead if that’s what you want.”

Williams turned red. “Is that a threat?”

“It’s an inevitability. You and I both know you’ve done enough to put you in his sights eventually. Think about your son, Mr. Williams. Do you really want to explain why the two of you get a visit from the Hood one night?” Laurel knew, of course, that Williams’ son would never be in danger of Ollie. But he also liked striking the fear of God into people like Ted Williams, so she didn’t think he’d mind her implying the worst if it got them the answers they needed.

“You can’t—”

“I can stop that from happening. I just need a name.”

“Merlyn!” Williams blurted. “Malcolm Merlyn.”

Laurel sat back. “What?”

Of all the names that had even crossed her mind, that had never been one of them. Malcolm was Tommy’s dad. He’d been one of Mr. Queen’s best friends. He was Starling City’s humanitarian of the year.

“He wrote the list. He’s the one who let us know what he knew, that he’d turn us over to the police if we didn’t do what he wanted. Donate money, build a hospital, that sort of thing. But he stopped asking about five years ago,” Williams said in a rush. “I thought it was done. He said it was over!”

“He ended it? Why?” Maybe if he had, then Williams was wrong. Maybe it was someone else pulling the strings now—

But Williams shook his head. “No. I’ve already told you too much. I have to get out of this city before he finds out about this. My son. We’ll have to move. Do you understand? That’s the kind of power he has.”

“Mr. Williams, you’re not saying—”

“You should get yourself out, too, if you know what’s good for you.”

“But—”

Williams was already walking, however, and the door slammed shut behind him. Laurel sat there for an unknowable time. Williams had looked and sounded absolutely genuine — but how could it be true?

—-

He tried not to drum his fingers on his leg as he watched the traffic slowly pass by. They had plenty of time before the gala tonight where their trap on the Count would be sprung.

Oliver glanced at the brooch sitting in wrapping on the seat beside him. Diggle would be the one to deliver it to the organizers. Oliver was planning to meet him a little later; he had a ticket to the event he needed to give Laurel — a good way to maintain their cover of dating if nothing else — and he wanted to know what she’d gotten out of Williams.

Soon enough, the car came to a stop outside the law office, and he got out of the car.

“Hey, Oliver.”

He turned back. John had rolled down the window and held out his phone with a notification on the screen displayed.

Chen returns home after deal with Beijing

“I’ve been tracking the business section. Figured that’d be our best shot at hearing news.” Digg clicked the link and scanned the article. “Says he got in mid-morning yesterday.”

“Keep an eye on that. Good work, John.” He patted the roof of the car and turned to head into CNRI as his friend pulled away.

Kevin Chen was back. What did that mean?

Hopefully that and whatever Laurel was able to get from Ted Williams would be good news.

When he entered the office, Laurel wasn’t at her desk. A woman named Anastasia told him she was still in a meeting, and he stated he intended to wait. He displayed the gala ticket for good measure. Better for people to think he was here for only a date.

He wasn’t kept waiting long. The door to CNRI’s conference room swung open. Oliver hid his smirk as he watched Williams leave in a hurry, looking incredibly shaken. That was Laurel.

It took longer for her to emerge. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Frustration, disappointment, perhaps a wide self-satisfied grin?

Not this. Not the tense, wide-eyed fear Laurel seemed to only just barely be keeping a lid on as she walked right up to him and took his arm.

“So, lunch?”

“Sure.” He tucked the gala ticket away in his pocket. “Everything okay?”

“Not here,” she muttered.

He didn’t even spot Thea before they’d left the building, and Laurel led them a few streets away without showing any signs of slowing.

He tugged her to a stop. “Laurel, what’s going on? What did Ted Williams say?”

She still looked to be in shock, and it took her some time to raise her gaze to his.

“It’s Malcolm. Tommy’s dad.”

The air left his lungs in one exhale. He had to question his own ears for a moment. But there was no mistaking who Laurel meant.

“Are we sure?”

“Williams was. And he’s planning to leave the city as soon as possible now that he’s told me. I mean, Oliver, he sounds terrified of Malcolm.”

It just seemed so unreal. Sure, at times Malcolm could seem a little distant or cold, usually when it came to Tommy. But to think he could be behind something like this?

“We’ll watch to see what Williams does, whether this is some kind of bluff. Then I’ll interrogate another person to see if their stories match.” It was tantamount that they verify this before taking the next step. There would likely only be one chance to catch the man behind the Undertaking unawares. If this was a setup, Oliver didn’t plan to fall for it.

Laurel nodded, seeming to calm from hearing his reasoning. “Okay. What about Tommy?”

“Don’t say anything to him. He’s not involved either way.” Once they knew the truth about Malcolm, then a decision could be made. “We’ll figure this out, Laurel.”

Oliver weighed the pros and cons of going after another person on the list or skipping up the food chain to Chen now that he was back. Chen might be more likely to report to his boss, even if he did know more. Assuming he was in the know at all.

But he was getting ahead of himself. He’d already set a trap for the Dodger tonight, and that he had to follow through. So Oliver withdrew the tickets again.

“For now, I was wondering if you wanted to help me stop a thief tonight?” He pitched his tone purposefully light; he didn’t like seeing her look so shaken. It seemed to work. She glanced up and met his eyes, one corner of her lips quirking upward.

“If I didn’t know any better, that would almost sound like a date,” Laurel remarked.

“We vigilantes make do.”

“Uh-huh.” She plucked one of the tickets from his grasp. “When should I expect you and John?”

“Seven. The gala officially kicks off at eight.”

“Alright. I should get back to the office so I can head out a little early, then. Which means a rain check on lunch.” She placed the gala ticket in her purse, then looked up at him. “Thanks for helping me process, well, that.”

“No problem. I’m not sure I would’ve known what to say if Williams had told me Malcolm’s name.”

“Well, I needed a bit of grounding, and you gave me that.” She leaned in for a hug, which he was only too glad to return. “I’ll see you at seven, Ollie.”

“See you, Laurel.”

He watched her walk away, and grinned when she looked back upon reaching the door to smile at him. It wasn’t hard to fake dating Laurel, and that was probably a problem. He’d spent the night at her place, cooked breakfast for the pair of them, and now was planning on attending a gala with her on his arm. If he wasn’t careful, he’d start forgetting this wasn’t real. Oliver turned and took out his phone to text Diggle for a lift back to the manor.

If Malcolm Merlyn really was the man behind this unknown Undertaking, though, they had even bigger problems. As much as he wanted to know the truth about his father’s mission and how to end it, Oliver almost hoped they were wrong.

—-

Moira looked up as Kevin was shown into her sitting room for the second time in two days. It would be safe to talk in here for a while yet; Thea was upstairs in her room and would make plenty of noise should she choose to come downstairs, and Oliver was out for the evening.

Normally, she might have started off with the usual pleasantries, but time was of the essence. As soon as Raisa was out of earshot, she asked, “So, I assume you’ve given some thought to my plan?”

Kevin remained standing. “I have, but I’m afraid we have more pressing concerns, Moira.”

“What do you mean?”

“Malcolm asked me to see Ted Williams this evening. It appears he moved a large sum of money from his bank and was in the process of firing his home staff and arranging for a successor to his business. I believe this made Malcolm nervous.”

“He thought Ted was fleeing the country.” Even if Malcolm had ended his extortion scheme in favor of the Undertaking, he still liked to keep tabs on those on the list.

“Yes, and he was. But not from the law, even if a case was just opened up against him.” Kevin folded his hands together, she suspected in an effort to hide any fidgeting or shaking. “He and his lawyer went for a meeting with the prosecutor this morning, only it turned out the case being brought against him had less to do with his crimes and more to do with a certain list.”

Moira gasped. “No.”

“He told her everything, Moira. He gave her Malcolm’s name.”

The list. How had someone gotten a copy of the list? Robert’s had been destroyed with the Gambit, and she had tossed hers in the fire after Oliver had returned it to her.

“There’s more, I’m afraid. The prosecutor is a Dinah Laurel Lance.”

Her legs trembled, and she knew if she’d been standing they would have failed her.

“You know her.”

“Yes,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Moira, I can only assume there is one way she could have come by this information.”

Her head bowed. “Oliver.”

What had he done? Oh, her son. She’d tried to warn him, tried to get him to leave it alone. And Laurel, with her questions and worries the last few months. She should have been keeping a better eye on things. That innocent girl.

“It’s too dangerous to move against Malcolm now,” Kevin said, drawing her from her thoughts. “Ted Williams’ departure has made him suspicious, and I will have to tell him at least some of what I’ve found out.”

Moira stood. “Kevin, you can’t let him think Oliver’s involved in this.”

“Of course not. But if Miss Lance is allowed to keep digging, Malcolm will figure it out on his own. She must be silenced.”

“No.” She turned away from him. It was unthinkable. “We stick to the plan, Kevin. Malcolm has to be stopped.”

“Malcolm is too suspicious now. He’ll be taking every precaution, and even a hint of dissent will be enough for him to remove either of us. I have to report to him by tonight. I’m postponing as long as I can for Ted to get his son out of the country, but any longer will have Malcolm questioning both our loyalties.”

“If you report to him that Laurel knows, he’ll have to know Oliver is involved.”

“I won’t tell him the lawyer’s name yet. Malcolm should put me in charge of tracking that information down, and it will buy us time until he’s completed the Undertaking and gotten what he wants.”

The Undertaking. The closer it approached, the less far-fetched and impossible it seemed. All those people...

“It’s the only way. If she tells Oliver what she’s learned, assuming she hasn’t already, Malcolm will not be happy. You must do this, Moira, for your family.”

“She is family,” Moira insisted.

Kevin watched her, giving away little emotion. “I understand you are fond of her. But choices have to be made, Moira. If we allow her to go on, Malcolm will realize Oliver’s involvement. Then he’ll have them both killed.”

He was right, and she didn’t know what to do.

Everything she had done was to keep Thea, and then Oliver when he’d come back to them, safe. She was remaining silent about Walter’s kidnapping for their safety. Her own husband. As much as she didn’t want to see Laurel caught up in this — hadn’t the Lances lost enough already to Malcolm’s schemes? — she had gone this far to ensure her children’s survival. What would be the point of any of it if she gave up now?

“What do you suggest?”

“I have reached out to my contacts in the Triad. They are willing to provide a man for the job. We simply give them a new target.”

Moira’s eyes closed. She felt a chill, like a piece of ice was settling in her heart. “Oliver would never recover.”

“Perhaps. But he would be alive.” Kevin paused. “I need an answer.”

“Do it,” she snapped, then covered her face with one hand. “If you think it’s best.”

“This should all be over soon, Moira. We have to keep going, for our families.”

He touched her shoulder briefly, but Moira shrugged it off. Kevin left without another word, and she sank back down to the couch.

For one wild moment, she had thought she could see a way out of the Undertaking, out of Walter’s captivity, out of being under Malcolm’s thumb. Now she was more trapped than ever.

[davidcarner]

Pros and Cons  Ch 9, Daddy’s Girl

A/N: I'm going to need everyone to remain calm. Chuck and Sarah are actually going on a date…no joke, no misdirection, a date. I didn't say it would be good or perfect, but it is a date. And, since no one can really answer which date is the first date, I have decided to mix the two first dates together. We are moving toward some big things. I'm thinking this one has 20 chapters or so, and 13 are in the books. We'll see. I give you Pros and Cons, Ch 9, Daddy's Girl

Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck, and I don't know if I can ever write this slow of a burn ever again.

Casey was happy, he was in a tee shirt and his boxers, had a hotpocket, bottle of Johnny Walker, Santa Fe Trail staring Ronald Reagan was just starting on TV, and he had settled into his comfortable recliner. He leaned back, grunted in pleasure and the TV cut off. Casey glared at the TV and the screen changed. His eyes got big as he noticed Diane Beckman sitting at her desk. She looked up at the monitor in front of her she would use to communicate with and raised an eyebrow.

"Successful mission, Casey?" Beckman asked.

"Yes, General," Casey replied. Beckman shook her head.

"It's Diane, Casey," Beckman replied. "You're out of the life now."

"Of course, General," he replied. Beckman smirked.

"Fine, MAJOR," she replied. Casey grinned, looked down, and crossed his legs. The look on Beckman's face said it really didn't do much. "Let's get to the point. What exactly is Carmichael Solutions doing?"

"I've signed documents, General, I can't go telling secrets, you know that," Casey replied. Beckman smiled.

"I see some things never change," Beckman answered. "Good," she added. "Then let me tell you some things. What you have stumbled onto is a cell within the CIA, FBI, NSA, and other government agencies. They are a part of an organization calling themselves the Ring."

"Christ," Casey muttered.

"Oh, it's gets better, Major," Beckman said. "That email you intercepted, that is something that has been on our radar for months."

"What?" Casey said, puzzled.

"I know you can't tell me anything, but let me tell you something," Beckman said, grinning. "There's a man in prison, he goes by Jack Burton, and he has said that he can give us what we want, info on the Ring, parts of the Ring, ways to infiltrate them, and if that info should come out…" she trailed off, grinning.

"Jack Burton gets out of jail," Casey said. Beckman nodded.

"Best I can tell his daughter knows nothing of this," Beckman added. "It also appears Roberts Pharmaceutical might be a front for the Ring." Casey grinned. "If that has anything to do with anything," Beckman said innocently.

"I should probably talk to Burton," Casey said.

"You probably should," Beckman agreed. "You should probably also talk things over with your boss, because I think we could use a civilian contractor on this, Major." Casey nodded.

"Always good talking to you, General," Casey said.

"John," Beckman said, taking off her glasses and leaning forward. "It's been two years, I'm sure we can get you medical clearance."

"I have a team, General," Casey replied. Beckman smiled.

"Good," she said. "You'll have a pass at the gate waiting for you. Good luck, John," and with that, she signed off. Casey's TV went back to the movie.

"Bartowski, what have you stepped it?" Casey muttered to himself.

-ooooo-

The cell door opened and Jack Burton walked out. He saw the big burly man sitting in the chair. This wasn't a normal visit. Either this guy was some type of cop, he looked it, or he knew someone who was. Jack was betting on him being a cop. Jack's normal smirk was on his face. He knew when he sent that letter he was opening up a can of worms. He sat down across from Copface and all the guards left, surprising Jack. Jack studied the man across from him. Clearly he was physically intimidating, and he was sure cop face had used that to his advantage in the past. Jack's smirk grew. Intimidation wasn't doing to do anything to Jack. He had nothing to lose in the game he was playing, and nothing was more dangerous than a conman with nothing to lose.

"I think they messed up my conjugal visit request." Copface grunted a laugh and had a smirk of his own. Jack nodded. This guy was old school, and Jack respected that. "Who are you with Copface?"

"Former NSA," he replied. "Name's Casey, I work for Bartowski Solutions now." Jack blinked. He hadn't expected that. "Heh, you're not the only one that can surprise someone Burton." Jack leaned forward, his arms on the table, hands clasped together.

"Is she okay?" Jack asked. Casey saw the concern on his face. Real concern. There was a lot of things he used to do, some of them he had trouble sleeping over. When Chuck hired him, Chuck had put him in charge of ops. Chuck told him he had complete faith in him, but Casey wasn't to do anything he couldn't live with. There were a lot of things Casey could live with, but this, this wasn't one of them. He nodded. Jack nodded in relief and closed his eyes. When he opened them he raised his head, the smirk returning.

"So do you want to ask me?" Jack asked.

"Ask you what?" Casey replied. "Sarah's not in on it, that's her name, but you knew that didn't you." The smirk on his face told him it was. "The angle? That's what I'm supposed to ask, isn't it? I really don't care about the angle, I'm more concerned if we're being setup."

"Are they together yet?" Casey raised an eyebrow. "Oh, come on, everyone knows it but those two." Casey grinned and shook his head. "Christ," Jack muttered and looked down, shaking his head. He looked up at Casey, his eyes narrowing. "Kid waited on her for over two years." Casey nodded.

"I guess when you wait for two years you wonder what's the rush," Casey replied.

"Or, you lose your nerve," Jack replied.

"That's what this is all about, them being together?" Casey asked. Jack shook his head.

"You ever really screw something up with someone you love?" Jack asked. Casey nodded his head once, stiffly. It was obvious Jack had hit a nerve. "You ever wish there was something you could do to fix it?" Casey nodded again. "Those two…they belong, you know?" Casey nodded again. "I want to walk my little girl down the aisle when she marries that schnook, and she needs to marry that schnook, just like he needs to marry her." Casey leaned forward.

"You're doing all of this, messing with criminal organizations, just to put those two together and walk her down the aisle?" Casey sat back, amazed.

"You think I'm an absolute idiot, don't you? A conman who's gotten snookered in the game." Jack shook his head. "I owe her, I screwed up her life by getting her into that life, and I need to fix it." Casey studied him. "Casey, what would you do?"

"God, country, family," Casey said, extending his hand. Jack grabbed it, and grinned. "So, how can I help?"

"Well, here's where it gets tricky," Jack replied. "I think Jill Roberts is hip deep in this mess, and I think Roberts Pharmaceutical is going to be a huge problem."

"Maybe I should keep an eye on her," Casey replied. Jack grinned and leaned back, arms crossed.

"I like you Copface, if I get out, I have some cigars I think you might like." Casey grinned.

-ooooo-

Sarah's eyes opened and she sniffed. What was that smell? Chocolate? She went and opened the door and heard voices.

"Seriously, Chuckles, I have things to do today, and I need to talk to her," Carina said.

"You brought the chocolate croissants, right? Then she'll be here any second, trust me, I know Jenny, I mean Sarah, and her food," she heard him say. She paused in the hallway.

"How long?" Carina asked.

"How long what?" Chuck replied. Sarah wanted to peak, she wanted to tell him she was right there, but she also wanted to know what this was about.

"How long have you been in love with her?" Carina asked. There was silence, except for Sarah's heart threatening to beat out of her chest.

"Honestly, somewhere between when she stole my and Bryce's fries and her kissing me on the cheek that first night." It took all of her power not to gasp. She put her hand to her mouth, and tears were about to come down her cheeks. "I had a girlfriend, it was wrong, she was hitting on Bryce, not me."

"Was she?" Carina asked. No, Sarah thought. She had come over to see Bryce, but Chuck captured her. He captured her heart that first night and he had had it ever since. Fine, he was dropping a bombshell like that, then she was going to fight dirty. She smiled, snuck back to her room, and text Carina. "Huh, guess who just text me," she said, looking at Chuck. "You have a date tonight?"

"Yeah," Chuck said, shrugging. Carina grinned.

"Oh, Chuckles, you are so in over your head," she said, getting up and heading to Sarah's room. Chuck sat there, wondering what was going on. Ten minutes later, the two left, both of them having smiles on their faces.

"See you later, Chuck," Sarah said, a wicked grin on her face. Chuck sat there by himself for a minute.

"Why do I have a feeling I'm in big trouble?" Chuck asked. He got up, went to his laptop and started searching.

-ooooo-

Several hours later, Chuck was rolling up his sleeves. She had said nothing fancy, and that's what he was going for, cool and casual. He was wearing a blue button up, jeans, and his trademark Chuck's. He had no idea what to expect tonight, but when Carina and Sarah had returned, Carina was openly laughing at him. Chuck just shrugged, glad the two were close. Sarah needed friends, at least he hoped they were friends. Sarah had a garment bag that she protected and wouldn't let Chuck anywhere near. He came out of his bedroom, and saw Carina and Bryce sitting on the couch. They both had knowing smiles on their faces.

"Mom, Dad, will you be waiting up?" Chuck asked, smirking at them.

"I just hope she doesn't break you," Carina said.

"Carina, cool it," Chuck said. "Sarah and I are going out for a nice night out. Like the three of us used to." Bryce shook his head.

"One big difference, the third wheel won't be there this time," Bryce replied. Chuck stared at him. "Come on, Chuck, you both wanted me to not be there, but needed me to be there because of 'reasons'. You had a girlfriend, she didn't want you to think she was trying to steal you from your girlfriend, and the whole she was a con artist thing."

"We are going out and having a nice time," Chuck insisted. "Like we used to. We'll see how it goes. I'm not putting any pressure on her to do anything she doesn't want to do."

"Yeah, but will you stop her if she does everything she wants to?" Carina asked.

"Carina, she's been in prison for over two years, she's allowed to go out and just have fun," Chuck said. Carina's smile grew even bigger and she put a hand to her face, trying to hide the snicker.

"It will dawn on him in a minute," Bryce said, near tears from trying to hold in the laughter.

"What will dawn on him?" Sarah asked.

"How you've been 'without' for a bit," Carina said. She got up, slapped a box of condoms in his hand, and her and Bryce left the house. Chuck stared at the box, his ears red. He looked at Sarah. She was wearing a purple dress with her hair down. He was enchanted. She walked towards him, took the box, glanced at it, dropped it in her clutch, and snapped the clutch shut. Chuck's eyes shot up to hers. She bounced a shoulder, raised an eyebrow, grinned, and offered him her arm. He took it, still unable to speak.

-ooooo-

"Where are you going, Missy," Casey muttered to himself. He had been watching Jill Roberts house all day, hoping she was just going to stay inside. A little while earlier, a heavyset man had shown up at her house. Casey had snapped a picture and sent it to Anna, she had told him this was Bernie Ominsky, the man who had possession of the artifact when it was stolen. The two had argued for a bit and when he left, Jill seemed quite upset. He watched Jill get into her car and he began to follow her. He called Anna, told her he was on the move, and activated the tracking device in his car. It paid to be careful.

-ooooo-

"How serious are they?" Sarah asked. The two had been laughing and talking all night. Chuck had missed this so much. Bryce had been right. When they would go out, while Sarah might sit with Bryce it was her and Chuck that talked. They just had this natural chemistry together, Chuck thought they had a trust, and they did. She told him more than anyone else, not just everything.

"Well, they were dating when we met so," Chuck shrugged. "I'm so calling her Mrs. Awesome."

"She will kill you," Sarah said, grinning. "Does she know we're doing this?"

"No, because unlike you, who's going around telling everyone we know," Chuck began with a smile on his face. Sarah picked up the paper wrapper from the straw and threw it at him. "I'm trying to keep certain people from losing their minds and exploding."

"You're totally scared she's gonna show up and squeal."

"Terrified," Chuck admitted. Sarah laughed. She watched him through her lashes. Chuck grinned at her. "How's the food?"

"It's good," she said, really enjoying the Mexican food. She took a deep breath about to say more, but Chuck didn't notice and rambled on.

"Morgan and I found it awhile back," he said, shrugging. Sarah gave him a look. "What can I say, Morgan knows food, and if you must know he's been encouraging me to ask you out."

"Really?" Sarah said.

"Yeah, no matter how many times I told him I wasn't in your league or that you were dating Bryce," he said, staring off into space. "I can't believe I messed that one up so bad."

"Let's table Bryce, because, well, just because."

"Done," Chuck said, glad to get off the subject.

"Why do you keep thinking I'm out of your league?" she asked.

"Um, have you met you?" Chuck asked, grinning. Sarah lifted her chin, and just watched his eyes. "You're really going to make me say it, aren't you? You- wow, okay. Fine. All right, we'll play it your way. A girl like you. Or more appropriately, a woman like you. Considering the fact that you could probably kick the ass of everyone in this joint, after being in the joint." She laughed at that. "And a... a smart one at that. Not to mention cool and... extremely beautiful. And, and you can stop me anytime with the compliments if they're becoming, you know..."

No," she said, smiling. "No, that was very sweet."

"Sweet? Golly gee, thanks for making me feel like I'm eight," Chuck said, teasing. Sarah shook her head at him.

"Well, you're not so bad yourself," Sarah said, truthfully.

"Please. I'm fantastic," he said, leaning back and joking.

"Yeah," she replied softly and seriously. "You are." Chuck was beginning to think nothing could ruin this night.

-ooooo-

"Casey, why are you stopping there?" Anna said over the coms.

"Because Jill is here and Uncle Bernie is here as well," Casey replied. "Plus a bunch of goons, what's going on?"

"This isn't good," Anna said. "Chuck and Sarah are in that restaurant, El Cuchillo."

"Christ," Casey muttered.

-ooooo-

"Sarah, look, I know you've had a rough time, I know you came from a rough childhood," Chuck began.

"I've got a ton of baggage, Chuck," Sarah replied honestly. Both of them had begun to lean in to each other. "Baggage no one should have to deal with."

"I can be your baggage handler," he said. He shut his eyes, and she giggled. "That sounded so cheesy."

"No, it sounded honest," Sarah replied. "It sounded honest and exactly like Chuck Bartowski."

"Listen, we've been through a lot, but you and I we make a good team," Chuck said.

"The best," Sarah said.

"Think maybe we should try this?" Chuck asked. Sarah's eyes got wide, and she was about to answer when she saw someone she had hoped never to see again.

"Chuck?" the voice said. Chuck froze and looked at Sarah. She was trying to hold in the anger.

"Tell me that's not," Chuck began in a low voice. Sarah nodded. Chuck closed his eyes. When he opened them, he looked right at Sarah. "Think we can table this conversation for a bit, because I'm not done."

"Me, either," Sarah said, winking.

"Chuck Bartowski," the voice came again, this time it wasn't a question. "And you," the voice came with venom.

"Trust me?" Chuck whispered. Sarah nodded. Chuck's hand came across and took Sarah's, her eyes going wide. Chuck turned toward the voice.

"Hello, Jill, what do you want?" Chuck asked as nicely as he could as he turned. Behind Jill was a large man. He opened his coat and Chuck saw a gun. "So lovely to see both of you." Chuck looked at Sarah and then back to Jill.

"I think you have something we want," Bernie said.

"We've already ate all our appetizers," Chuck said.

"I want the artifact," Bernie said.

"I don't know anything about an artifact, Sir," Chuck replied. Bernie put his hand on the handle of the gun.

"Then I guess I don't need you, do I?" Bernie asked.

"But do you need your kidney?" Casey asked from behind Bernie.

"I was just messing with them," Bernie said, with a grin on his face. Casey reached around to take the gun from Bernie and tossed it to Chuck. Chuck didn't know what to do with it. Sarah took it and put it in her clutch.

"Figures she'd know how to use a gun," Jill muttered.

"Why are you here bothering us?" Chuck asked, scooting over beside Sarah since everyone was sitting down so as not to make a scene. How no one hadn't seen all that he still wasn't sure.

"What do you know about the artifact?" Bernie asked insistently.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Chuck replied.

"Why did you take the job?" Jill asked.

"What job?" Chuck replied.

"The email that you intercepted last night," Jill replied. Chuck buried his head in his hands.

"Obviously he had no idea it was you," Casey replied. "Bryce takes care of all of that. Why did you hire them?"

"Because the email I got suggested you," Jill replied.

"Here's an idea," Chuck offered, raising his head up. "Ask whoever sent you the email." Jill looked embarrassed.

"She has no idea," Sarah said. It might have been a bit smug…it was a lot smug, and Chuck liked it. "Wait, how did you know we were here?"

"I've had people tailing him," Bernie said, pointing at Chuck. Chuck had had enough.

"Go," Chuck said. Jill started to say something. Chuck shook his head. "Go," he said. Jill got up, started to leave, and turned.

"I want to hire you," she said.

"No," Chuck replied.

"Chuck," she began. Sarah reached into her clutch and gave the gun to Casey. She pulled on Chuck's arm. He threw down some money, and they left Jill trying to follow. "Wait, Chuck." Chuck spun.

"You cheated on me, and tried to get back by having Sarah thrown in jail, I never want to see you again," Chuck hissed. "You tried to ruin my life twice, why would I ever help you?" Chuck walked out of the restaurant, with Sarah right behind him. "I'm so sorry," he said. She pulled him in for a hug. "I've ruined our evening." She pulled away and gently took his head in her hands.

"No, Chuck, she did, again, and I'm tired of her," Sarah replied. "She's come between us too much, and I'm not letting it anymore, do you understand me." He nodded, having no clue. "No, you don't right now, do you? Come on." She got in the car and drove to his beach, the one he used to tell her about when he needed to think and he wasn't able to talk to her. She was jealous of that beach, because it got the memories she didn't get to have. It wasn't the beach's fault she didn't have those memories, and honestly, it wasn't Jill's fault it was hers, but she wasn't going to let the past define her anymore. She was going to have memories with Chuck, new memories, good memories, she swore it. As they sat down and just held each other for hours, talking about the past, about nothing, about everything, and then laughing, she swore she was going to be there for Chuck Bartowski the way he had been there for her.

A/N: YO ADRIAN I DID IT! A DATE! Next time, there's a carrot tossed and a nerd who finds out exactly how Sarah feels about him. It's like there's a bomb about to go off….did I give it away? Hope you liked it, reviews and PMs are always welcomed…Take Care

DC

[staircasttext]

Ep 10 Transcript: Fireheart Learns to Code

Episode 10

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi, everybody. Welcome back again to Stairway to StarClan, a Warriors Cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: And I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we're back again this week reading Fire and Ice, chapter eight through 10, if I am remembering correctly.

JULIAN: Yep.

PAZ: But before we get into the chapters, we have some updates on the Barnes and Noble saga that I want to share, because they're all incredible. So a lot of these are just like additional comments to the Tumblr post that we read last week. I guess we can just go in the order through like how you sent them, Julian, because that's how I pulled them up.

JULIAN: Sure. I can read the first one.

PAZ: Sure, go ahead.

JULIAN: All right. Tumblr user melthedestroyer says, "I used to work at Barnes and Noble. And I need you all to know, when you pulled up a book in the internal system, it gives you a couple of top reviews from bn.com on the page. Imagine now my coworker Sal, a 60 year old Italian man with a flip phone, pulling up one of these one day. It was an interesting shift for Sal and I." Imagine having to introduce your coworker to the concept of roleplay, Warrior Cats roleplay.

PAZ: Yeah, not any roleplay. I love that.

JULIAN: I mean, I'm sure if he worked at Barnes and Noble he was familiar with the Warrior Cats phenomenon.

PAZ: Yeah, better be. Yeah, I'll read the next one. This is by Tumblr user diatribe. "I was part of a different circle of this for three-ish years in the early 2010s. Most of us had super controlling parents and weren't allowed internet access. The BN book reviews were broken af, completely unmoderated. Multiple books often shared the same reviews. And you didn't even have to own the book to write a review."

LIZ: Lawless.

PAZ: "It started with people just shouting out in these popular books, wondering if anyone else could see them. And then when people could reply, it spiraled. Also, we used BN's e-reader, so it just looked like we were reading." So Julian, you were like 100% correct.

LIZ: That's amazing.

JULIAN: Yeah, I was talking about this with Han after the podcast. And they also mentioned that Barnes and Noble's website probably also wouldn't be blocked on a school computer. So people might have been doing it from school computer labs. But a lot of the comments mentioned like doing it specifically on the Nook. So it looked like you were reading which is, oh, I'm really glad that these kids had somewhere to roleplay Warrior Cats that their parents could not control.

PAZ: Right? And just like, instant message, because we saw some of those as well. The creativity of children when they want to RP cats with their friends is endless. And I have nothing but respect.

JULIAN: Yeah, another update was someone saying that there was also a big Warrior Cats roleplay community on Khan Academy, which again, tracks.

LIZ: That is just incredible to me. That's like saying yeah, I used to RP on like Wolfram Alpha, or whatever that math site is.

JULIAN: Does Wolfram Alpha have a comment section because if so there might be Warrior Cats RP there.

LIZ: Wolfram Alpha forums. Let me check. Yes.

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

JULIAN: Oh yes.

PAZ: Search Warriors.

JULIAN: Community.wolfram.com/groups.

LIZ: Wait, search Warriors, please.

JULIAN: Oh, I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

LIZ: Cats, anything.

JULIAN: Oh, no, I'm not seeing anything, unfortunately.

PAZ: Oh no. Maybe it's too moderated.

JULIAN: It might be too moderated. It seems like it's pretty moderated.

PAZ: Tragic.

JULIAN: It's also like a whole company.

LIZ: Well, the framework is there. You could get past that. Listen, we saw some territorial disputes in the Barnes and Noble comments section.

JULIAN: We really did.

LIZ: So if anyone needs to branch out, I bet-- you know, there has to be someone who can hack a little bit.

PAZ: Yeah, Wolfram Alpha? Yeah.

LIZ: To get around this.

PAZ: Who wants to read the other final update that kind of dove into the questions we had about like, moderation and stuff?

LIZ: Is this the very long one that's like a screenshot?

JULIAN: Yeah, it's the one I had to screenshot because it was a reply, so I couldn't link to it.

LIZ: Okay, I can do the first one because it is pretty long. Okay, "here's a breakdown for you guys. You'll find people RPing in classic books because they're multi rez, which means multiple books link to the same review section. You can only post one review per book and posting in it erases your original review. So multi rez books are obvs desirable if you wanted to RP more than one character. Or if you wanted to leave a post up for someone who wasn't online at the moment."

JULIAN: "If you posted a bad word, you'd get locked out and wouldn't be able to post in that particular book anymore, which also made multi rez books desirable. You can get around this by putting open angle bracket underscore close angle bracket after the first two letters of a swear word, and then posting it would make it look like you hadn't censored it at all. Warrior Cats books were the most popular, but I remember Percy Jackson RPers hung around in like the Athenian constitution books."

PAZ: Yeah, so I remember we'd noted that like you could see the review counts of people and it would just say like one. And I think the explanation for that phenomena is here.

LIZ: Incredible.

PAZ: Because apparently it'd just delete if you reviewed more than once.

JULIAN: Yeah, so that makes sense, though, because it's like, if people are basically waiting for someone else to be online and then kind of RPing back and forth, but each of their new posts erases the old post, we only see the last one.

PAZ: Yeah, it's really tragic that there's no archive, though, because of that.

JULIAN: It's all gone. And the odds of it being on like Wayback Machine are very low if it replaced that quickly, unfortunately.

PAZ: It's truly the epitome of like, touches ground, something happened here.

LIZ: God, I hope someone has at least like saved or archived or screenshotted somewhere like just a moment of this. Like a slice in time to put in a museum in 3021.

PAZ: Yeah, I hope somebody was like copy-pasting into a Word doc somewhere.

JULIAN: Right? Ugh.

LIZ: I mean, how else are you gonna remember what's happening if you're RPing?

PAZ: Right?

JULIAN: I mean, you depend on the encyclopedic memory of an eight year old for like trivia.

LIZ: That's true.

JULIAN: They don't have to remember how taxes work so they can remember every detail of what Umbrellastar from BloodClan told them.

PAZ: I wish that was me.

LIZ: God, if only.

JULIAN: Same.

PAZ: But yeah, I guess that's the updates we found. The fact that it was somewhat moderated is extremely funny, but like not moderated enough that they're like we're gonna not allow this RP to happen.

LIZ: You just can't say fuck.

JULIAN: Like we can't stop you from RPing on this forum but you can't get horny about it.

LIZ: For some reason, we can't stop you.

PAZ: I so badly want to find someone to talk to who was in charge of the Barnes and Nobles website in some capacity and be like, what happened here?

JULIAN: I want the email chain where someone was like, Hey, my boss. You got to know about this. What do we do about this?

LIZ: CEO voice, you know, it's interaction. It's engagement.

PAZ: Yeah. They're probably like--

LIZ: We need to get those Hamlet numbers up. The kids do not care about Hamlet. This is as close as we're gonna get. If Shadowfur wants to RP with an assassin cat or get into a territorial dispute with the Percy Jackson RPers, we let them.

PAZ: Yeah, we need those clicks. That's all that matters.

JULIAN: Honestly, I wonder if they were so laissez faire about it because Barnes and Noble really, really wanted people to like use their Nooks. There was like a big push for them to like-- they were pushing Nooks versus Amazon's Kindle really hard. And so if they were like, well, at least people are using the review section with their Nook devices.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, I guess if you're a kid who wanted really badly to RP with their friends and you could convince your very strict parents to buy you a Nook, it works out in Barnes and Noble's favor, so.

JULIAN: I mean, honestly, I wonder if it was just like, you know, I borrowed my mom's Nook because she never used it. And I didn't know about-- I was also too old for RP at that point and was just bulk downloading fanfiction to the Nook. But like if I had been slightly more sheltered and a little bit younger at the time, I definitely would have been-- I would have done this.

PAZ: Did you guys do that thing where you would print out fanfic?

LIZ: Yes. Mm-hmm.

PAZ: And then either read it in bed or take it to school?

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: I did not print out fanfic because I was mortified that my family would find out about it. So instead, I copied and pasted it from a particular Doctor Who fanfic archive into Word documents. I had like one Word document that was like one genre and then another Word document that was like a different ship, and they all had like little secretive acronyms so that...

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: This is so intricate.

PAZ: Wow.

JULIAN: It was so much. Because this is before Ao3.

PAZ: I don't think I was smart enough as a child to do that. I would just like to try and throw out all the fanfic I'd printed out before people saw it. Because I would read it in bed because I didn't have a phone I could read it on.

JULIAN: Oh yeah.

PAZ: If I wanted to get cozy in bed and read my, I don't know, Kingdom Hearts fanfic, I had to print it out.

JULIAN: When I finally did get a phone my senior year of high school, I spent pretty much that entire summer reading fic. And so my mom was like, oh, what are you doing? And I was like, Oh, I'm-- someone had posted about this on Tumblr and I stole it. I was like, Oh, I'm reading unpublished stories by authors online.

PAZ: God.

LIZ: Not untrue. You're just supporting new writers.

JULIAN: It's accurate.

PAZ: It's what people on Twitter want to think, so.

JULIAN: It's literature. It's literature, Mom.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: Yep, classic. You know, getting fan content, it was bad. It was hard back in the day.

LIZ: It was hard.

JULIAN: We didn't have tags. You had to just pick a pairing and hope that the fic was good.

PAZ: Right? Oh my god. Yeah, it was all summary based, like good fucking luck.

LIZ: It did have genres. Like fanfiction.net did have genres. It was like romance.

PAZ: I vaguely remember that.

LIZ: Comedy, poetry, suspense.

PAZ: God. What was the fanfic that I would... what was the fandoms that I was in reading fanfic on fanfic.net? I know it was Kingdom Hearts. I think Ranma 1/2, probably Naruto fanfiction.

JULIAN: Yeah, it was just Sherlock and Doctor Who. I'm so sorry to tell y'all this.

PAZ: That seems kind of... Sherlock seems kind of late for fanfic.net though. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.

JULIAN: It was... I like started out fanfic.net. It was like right when Ao3 was becoming a thing. But the wait for Ao3 was like six months at that point.

PAZ: Oh right.

LIZ: I used to read Sherlock fic on Livejournal.

PAZ: Also definitely read Invader Zim fic on fanfic.net.

JULIAN: My Invader Zim phase was before I realized that like fanfic was a thing that existed outside of me writing fanfic in my journal. So unfortunately, I did not stumble across that.

PAZ: Maybe, maybe, fortunately.

JULIAN: Maybe good. I also probably would have been reading a lot of iCarly fanfic.

PAZ: It wasn't like ship fic though. I don't think I understood the concept of that at the time. It was just like-- I read a lot of like OC self insert fic when I was much younger. I don't know.

LIZ: You just loved the character building.

PAZ: I did, I loved the worlds.

LIZ: Yeah, well, what an intricate like beautiful universe you've created.

PAZ: I think I remember a fic like that was like a crossover with Alien.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

LIZ: Like Alien-alien?

PAZ: Yeah, the movie Alien with like the xenomorph.

JULIAN: I love that. That's wonderful.

PAZ: It was powerful.

JULIAN: Oh all right, sorry, Chickpea is screaming. Let me see if I can feed her and then she'll stop.

PAZ: Okay.

LIZ: I'm just thinking about that fucking like Sherlock Livejournal community that we looked at with the graveyard with all the broken Photobucket links.

PAZ: I'm kind of... I don't know why I never got into Sherlock fandom like seriously, but I'm happy I didn't.

LIZ: Bullet dodged. It was something. We should look for Warriors Livejournal stuff. I bet there's some good graphics if...

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: If it ever made it there.

PAZ: No, I'm sure there were Warriors Livejournals. But Livejournal was after my Warriors period so I wouldn't know from personal experience. Definitely read a lot of Doctor Who fanfic on Livejournal though.

LIZ: I actually didn't. I was big into it.

JULIAN: Alright, hello.

LIZ: I just stuck around for icons and stuff. Hi.

PAZ: Hi, welcome back. We were saying there's probably like Warriors communities on Livejournal, like old ones somewhere.

JULIAN: Oh my god, I bet there are.

PAZ: Yeah, we should look into that in the future.

JULIAN: Yeah, we should do a hunt there.

PAZ: There's so much content out there. Even on Barnes and Nobles.com.

LIZ: I don't think people are RPing in like Goodreads reviews for Warrior books. But wouldn't that be something? You can reply on those things.

PAZ: Are you sure people aren't doing that?

LIZ: I don't know. Maybe.

PAZ: Now that you've said that, that seems like an obvious situation to do it.

LIZ: Put it on the docket. We've got so much research. God.

PAZ: We're going to become scholars of Warrior Cats RP communities.

JULIAN: Great news. Uh.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah?

JULIAN: There are... Goodreads: Group. Show Tag RP.

LIZ: [gasp]

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Fuck yeah.

JULIAN: We have 1825 roleplay groups on Goodreads.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: Oh my god. Is this just Warriors, or like everything?

JULIAN: Oh, this is everything.

LIZ: Oh, okay. I was like damn, Warriors. Can you give us a little tasting board of this?

JULIAN: No, don't make me login. So let's see. Just a little something. We have Percy Jackson and HOO– I guess that's something about Olympians– roleplay group. Have you waited for your satyr all your life but it never came? Well, welcome to CHP, where all demigods are accepted. You can create your own character and talk to other half bloods. We are here to have fun, sing songs on the fireplace, play Capture the Flag, volleyball, and of course go on lots of quests.

LIZ: This sounds fun.

JULIAN: Yeah. I haven't seen any-- oh, here we go. Warrior Cats: A New Fall. Yep, we've got three separate Warrior Cats RPs on the first. So we'll have to dig into this a little bit.

LIZ: Thank god.

PAZ: This is so exciting.

JULIAN: A lot of this is like... a lot of boarding school RP. Like people have made up-- this roleplay is tagged as semi-advanced. What does that mean?

PAZ: I guess your reading level has to be... I don't know.

LIZ: Middle school and above.

PAZ: Eight plus.

JULIAN: Oh, I'm so glad people are just out here on the Goodreads forums RPing.

LIZ: Good. Fuck it up.

PAZ: This is a better use of Goodreads.

JULIAN: Yeah, it is. I hope Amazon has to read all of these.

LIZ: Yeah, get wreckt.

JULIAN: It'd be good for them.

LIZ: Humble them a little. We should look into those. I bet there's some new innovations going on if it's still active.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, no, these are sorted by the latest activity. So the three ones I found, last activity six hours 25 minutes ago.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Yeah, so we can really dig in here.

LIZ: We need to check out that semi advanced style. I wanna know what that means.

JULIAN: I can't tell, but they have their own gifs. Like there's some really nice graphics.

PAZ: Wow, you can post gifs on Goodreads?

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: It's like a fully fledged forum here.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: Yeah I think you can post like reviews and then that you have like, here's my Marvel GIF about reacting to... I don't know. Twitches.

JULIAN: I think there's like... because there's like a Groups function.

PAZ: Oh my gosh. Yeah, this is just a forum.

JULIAN: That I think is intended to be like for book clubs. But is, in this case for--

PAZ: This is a book club. What are you talking about?

LIZ: Oh, yeah, these things. I joined one for exactly one reason. It was to ask what book this was because I didn't remember the name, title, or character, or author, or anything. And they were mean about it.

JULIAN: Aw.

LIZ: They were like, everyone has asked what this book is. Did you not read the FAQ?

PAZ: Oh, no.

LIZ: And I did. So anyway, Goodreads is bad, but I'm glad people are using it to RP.

PAZ: Good on this random boarding school roleplay for saying no racist, homophobic, discriminatory, etc. comments.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: The Warrior Cats: A New Fall RP's number one rule is "no bullying. We make exceptions for in the roleplay."

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: Gosh, perfect. Well, this is an exciting possibility world before us that we will have to revisit in the future. But I guess now that we're done with that update, we should go into our chapters.

LIZ: Beautiful.

PAZ: So this week, we read three chapters, chapters eight through 10. And I'll just dive right into the summaries. So chapter eight continues from the scene of the RiverClan warrior Whiteclaw's death. Leopardfur, the RiverClan deputy, warns ThunderClan that this has now gone beyond a border dispute and leaves. The WindClan cats leave as well, thanking ThunderClan again. And Sandpaw is freaked out from her near death, and Graystripe is shaken and disturbed from accidentally causing another cat's death.

Once they are back at camp, an angry Tigerclaw takes Fireheart and Graystripe back to Bluestar and informs them both of WindClan's rescue and the RiverClan death Tigerclaw believes seeing ThunderClan with WindClan cats will push RiverClan and ShadowClan together. Bluestar, while disappointed, is not as angry. She decides Graystripe and Fireheart should take apprentices to train to prepare for future hostilities.

Later that night there is a naming ceremony for the apprentices. Fireheart takes Cinderpaw, an energetic cat, as his apprentice, and Graystripe takes Brackenpaw, who is more serious, as his apprentice. The chapter ends with Fireheart thinking about how he wants to be a good warrior and mentor and that it feels like Tigerclaw is waiting for him to fail.

In chapter nine, Fireheart takes Cinderpaw out into the forest for her first day as an apprentice. Graystripe declines to join them and is still depressed. Fireheart and Cinderpaw travel various places, with Cinderpaw bounding ahead and not listening to Fireheart closely. Fireheart teaches her some things about scents, hunting, and owls. Cinderpaw then runs ahead towards Snakerocks before Fireheart can warn her, but comes back once he makes the danger clear. They then visit the Thunderpath and eventually go near the Twolegplace, where they spot a pregnant kittypet. Fireheart gets an inexplicable feeling that this cat isn't a threat and gives away their position so she runs away. Back at camp, he dreams about when he was a kitten and realizes the kittypet he saw was his sister.

In chapter 10, Firepaw gets an intense longing to see his sister after seeing the familial familiarity amongst the clan cats. He asks Graystripe to take Cinderpaw for the day and heads back to the Twolegplace. He waits until the sister comes into the garden to reveal himself. She is frightened at first, but once he remembers her name, which is Princess, and remembers who he is, she calms down. When she asks why he came to see her, Fireheart simply says, because you are my sister. He asks about their other family, who all still live in the neighborhood. They talk for a while and Fireheart tells her about the clans. Princess eventually has to go inside and Fireheart returns to the ThunderClan camp after hunting.

Back at camp, Tigerclaw confronts him about leaving Cinderpaw with Graystripe. Fireheart apologizes and says he will focus on her training. Graystripe still seems disturbed about the RiverClan encounter. The chapter ends with Fireheart watching Cinderpaw and her brother, and thinking about how he has felt lonely within the clan, as none of his family is there. And that's the end of our reading this week.

JULIAN: My first note for chapter eight is Graystripe killed a man.

PAZ: Yeah. RIP Whiteclaw, our beloved friend. Yeah, Graystripe, you did kind of kill a guy. This was like, the first time I'm like, damn, I just agree with Tigerclaw because it really is like Fireheart's fault completely. There was no reason to go into RiverClan territory. And he is also partly responsible for a death.

JULIAN: Also Fireheart being like, Oh, it was a special mission, just like Highstones. So it's okay for us to-- like, no, it's not. You knew it wasn't.

PAZ: Yeah, you had to convince everyone to do it. Because everyone was like, I don't think that's a great idea. I feel bad for those poor WindClan cats who just... they just had a horrible two months, and now this bullshit.

JULIAN: Well, and like Tigerclaw is, for once, worst person you know just made a great point.

PAZ: Exactly.

JULIAN: He's like, yeah, this is gonna solidify RiverClan and ShadowClan's alliance. And he's right, it will.

PAZ: Yeah. This is the worst thing that has come out of Fireheart's lack of brains by far. And he seems like he doesn't have any lingering guilt about it.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Yeah, Graystripe is like, tore up about this. And Fireheart is just like, Why doesn't he want to eat with me?

LIZ: Isn't there that part in like, that part where he's like, aw Graystripe doesn't want to hang out. Oh, well.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, I think I think Graystripe's having the appropriate emotional reaction. But I don't know why he's the only one having that reaction.

JULIAN: Yeah, I am still unclear on like, when it's okay to kill another cat. Um.

PAZ: Yeah, it's very, extremely unclear. Because I really feel like people die all the time. But then it's like, we're sad when people die. Also, sometimes maybe it's dishonorable? Question mark?

LIZ: They say like that it's just a border dispute, which is why like, the murder was, I guess, like, too much, but it seems like all of their disputes are border disputes.

JULIAN: Like what else do they dispute about?

LIZ: Yeah, what?

PAZ: I don't know. Maybe there are periods of active warfare. I don't know.

JULIAN: Yeah, like maybe it's okay to kill another cat like, if they're in your camp or something.

PAZ: Yeah. Or like they stole your children.

JULIAN: Yeah, I remember-- in Warrior Cats roleplay, we would like schedule battles. And I'm trying to remember whether that is based on the books or just useful for RP scheduling purposes.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't really remember from later books. So I can't really say. But I do like how this whole situation sets up like Sandpaw's changing thoughts on Fireheart. Like, her appearances in the rest of these chapters is her being like, very, like, shaken that she almost died and also like, seeming to be thinking thoughts about Fireheart, so.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's very like... you can tell that she's sort of thinking about like, Oh, you know, damn, kittypet did save me.

PAZ: Have I been wrong? Who knows. I do still feel-- damn. Dustpaw and Sandpaw have it bad, though. They're still apprentices and fucking Fireheart and Graystripe are getting their apprentices. Can you imagine sharing the apprentice den with these little tiny babies?

JULIAN: With these babies that are like, technically still too young.

PAZ: I hope they become warriors soon. They don't deserve this.

LIZ: I don't know. You'd think that since Fireheart and Dust-- nope, Graystripe are getting apprentices so early, that Bluestar would also make the other apprentices warriors by now too, just like, gotta keep moving.

PAZ: Right? She's like, we need more warriors. I'm just gonna make these babies apprentices and not promote these older cats for some reason.

LIZ: Who have seen battle.

JULIAN: Right? They're also like, at this point, they're like super seniors.

PAZ: Yeah, I assume they're at least a couple months older than like, Graystripe and Fireheart.

JULIAN: Just like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna keep taking classes.

PAZ: This is so sad.

JULIAN: I was really happy to see that there was some sort of like criteria to become a mentor, because Bluestar says that Runningwind would make a bad one. So at least they are thinking about it a little bit.

PAZ: I think her judgment is off because she decided Tigerclaw would make a good mentor, but I guess, at least there are considerations. Yeah, the other thing from the beginning of this chapter is I know we said we'd keep a Fireheart/Onewhisker alert out. Yes, here it is. "Fireheart meowed a quiet farewell to Onewhisker as he passed. Onewhisker glanced briefly at him and walked on."

JULIAN: Damn.

PAZ: It's there. It's real.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

LIZ: This is all those posts about tender yearning, you know.

PAZ: Exactly.

LIZ: It's about glances... and they don't have hands, so paws.

PAZ: The nose touches. The tail touches at their annual ball dance.

JULIAN: The jellicle ball.

PAZ: But yes.

JULIAN: God-- oh sorry. One more Bluestar thing. Um, she does tell Fireheart to pass on everything that she taught him. And I just have a note that's like, you didn't teach him shit.

PAZ: Right? There was something-- like there was like a part in like, a later scene with Fireheart and Cinderpaw that implied she did more than one thing with him. Because it said something about like, Bluestar teaching him about owls. But I'm like, when in the world did this happen? This did not happen. They had one fight.

LIZ: Is it just like... is it like a retcon to imply that like more time passed than we saw?

PAZ: Yeah, maybe?

LIZ: Or I guess so. It just would have been nice to see like, if not just one, maybe two or three, and then you can just say it kept happening. I don't know.

PAZ: Right?

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: It really felt like it was only one. But yeah, but speaking of time passing and timelines, I was trying to figure out the timeline for like, how long they were actually warriors before getting apprentices. I think it was like three days, because--

LIZ: Oh my God.

PAZ: Because, right? So they became like, apprentices after-- they became warriors after their vigil. And I think it was the day after that that Bluestar's like okay, you gotta go find-- I don't know. When was the Gathering?

JULIAN: Let's see. Pull up my ebook.

PAZ: I forgot there was a Gathering in between. Maybe it's like five days.

LIZ: Well, how long did the WindClan retrieval take?

JULIAN: I feel like three days, I think?

PAZ: That was like two days.

JULIAN: Two or three?

PAZ: They slept two nights. They slept a night before finding WindClan and then they slept a night on the way back with WindClan. So yeah, I guess it was like three days.

JULIAN: Yeah, they sleep a night on the way back, and then they come back, go through RiverClan, go back to ThunderClan. And then that night they get apprentices. I think the Erins are really relying on the fact that children have no idea what timelines are.

PAZ: Okay, so, checking back to the beginning, it appears there was the day after they became warriors. And then the following day was the Gathering. So that's like two days. And I think it was the day after the Gathering that Bluestar is like, Okay, you got to go on this journey. So that's like another day. And then there's the day of the journey. They sleep. Day of finding WindClan, coming back. They sleep. Then they're back. So that's six days, I think.

JULIAN: What are we at? A week?

PAZ: I totally was not counting. Yeah, like a week, about.

JULIAN: Oh, you know.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: They are cats. A week is a long time if you're a cat and have no real sense of short term memory.

PAZ: I guess.

LIZ: What's a week for a cat?

PAZ: But I mean, cats don't live like-- cats can live until they're like, 20. They don't... I mean, not outdoor cats, I guess. But it's not like they only live to be like five years old. I feel like it should be at least a month.

LIZ: What's a week to a cat? Like, a month?

PAZ: I don't know.

LIZ: Two weeks? Three weeks.

JULIAN: I'm googling cat sense of time. But I don't know. That might be a rabbit hole we can't fall down.

PAZ: I feel like cats don't... Cats wouldn't have a concept of days, though. Because they just sleep whenever.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: I mean, not these cats.

JULIAN: I mean, pet cats have a really good sense of time because like, they do get onto a...

PAZ: Yeah, they know when they get food.

JULIAN: Right. They get on to a rhythm. And if their rhythm gets disrupted, they get very upset.

LIZ: Yeah, they have to have their breakfast at 5am.

PAZ: And they have to run around the house at 3am. Very strict schedule. Well, anyway, yeah. Timeline is weird, but they get their apprentices. I couldn't remember any cat named Bracken-something. I feel like maybe there was like a Brackentail. But I'm like, I don't know. I don't know if this guy's gonna make it.

LIZ: Maybe he's destined to just be like--

PAZ: Pouring one out.

LIZ: -- inoffensive side character.

PAZ: Yeah, that might be the case.

LIZ: That's the life you want. You don't want to be like a fucking Firepaw. Look at that shit he's going through.

PAZ: I didn't look it up because I'm like, I'll just see.

JULIAN: I did look it up and spoiled myself, but I will not spoil y'all.

PAZ: I know what happens to the other two apprentices so far in this book, which is why I'm like who the fuck are you, Brackenpaw? I don't know him.

JULIAN: I mean, in his defense. Well, not in his defense. He hasn't really established much of a personality yet.

PAZ: I know.

JULIAN: You know, sometimes you're the quiet sibling, and your sister is real boisterous.

PAZ: Yeah, is their other sibling Swiftpaw? Or like, am I getting confused?

JULIAN: I thought it was just Brackenpaw and Cinderpaw. I didn't think there were...

PAZ: Was Swiftpaw a different litter? Maybe. Because that was the one who got promoted to apprentice at the beginning of this book.

JULIAN: Oh.

PAZ: Or wait, at the end of last book? I don't know. Recently.

JULIAN: Um, yeah, no, Swiftpaw is a different...

PAZ: Okay. That makes sense. Cause he's older.

JULIAN: Yeah. Different litter. The stuff with Cinderpaw is very cute.

PAZ: It's so cute.

LIZ: It is.

PAZ: But I'm also like, Oh, God, don't go to Snake Hell please. Listen to the adult.

LIZ: She got so close to Snake Hell like immediately.

PAZ: Cinderpaw needs to be on like a child leash.

LIZ: Uh-huh.

JULIAN: I am a little bit like, watching Fireheart mentor her is very much like when you have a teen babysitter take like a bunch of children to a pool. Or like to the zoo. It was just like, Oh, this was a mistake. You all need an adult.

LIZ: Bluestar, why did you do this?

PAZ: Right? Once again, worst person you know makes a good point. I think Tigerclaw was right when he was like, they're too young to have apprentices.

JULIAN: Fireheart like fully does not know what he's doing. He's just like, uh, I'm gonna take you around. We're gonna go to the Thunderpath. That sounds like fun.

PAZ: Yeah, no one gave him the like, teacher's manual.

LIZ: No, he's not certified. He's a teen boy.

JULIAN: Fireheart, your union contract.

PAZ: This is really just like in high school when you have a, like, junior college student come in and be like the assistant teacher for their like college credit courses. And it's, like, so obvious to you as a senior. It's like, Oh, wait, we're actually pretty close in age. What are you doing here?

LIZ: Don't worry. Cinderpaw [inaudible]

JULIAN: I fully respect Graystripe wanting to be alone and not be near Fireheart right now because Fireheart does not seem to understand that he did anything wrong. I also think that he should have stuck with Fireheart because two adults and two children is much more manageable than one adult and one child. Especially when one of the children is like... like if you have a rambunctious child and like a very calm child, that's much better than one rambunctious child.

LIZ: Graystripe even says so, right?

PAZ: Mm-hmm. But Graystripe is having a crisis so I'll excuse him.

JULIAN: God. And then Fireheart is like, well, I'm just gonna ditch my apprentice with you for a day. Is that chill?

LIZ: Yeah, like the second day.

PAZ: Ah, God. I gotta say though, all the internal thoughts about family Fireheart has in these set of chapters is very good.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: There's just so much more internal life than in the first book. It's like, it's very noticeable.

LIZ: Yeah. He's really going through like-- he has not become dad, but he thinks he is. Like, he's looking at Cinderpaw like, Oh, God. Oh, God, what do I do? Oh, god, no, no, she's going to Snake Hell. Wait, come back. Oh, my God, children. So he's also like, just a young guy. But it's very funny.

PAZ: Yeah. And his like, anger and worry about being a former kittypet continues to be like, a thread running through this. Which is... I don't know, it's just good to see that they're keeping that like personality trait consistent in this book.

JULIAN: Yeah. And like the tension between like, found family versus birth family is like, nice to see explored here.

PAZ: Yeah. And like how he feels like he's-- even though he really likes his found family, how he still feels alienated because, I mean, like, they still see him differently.

JULIAN: Yeah. And like, even through that, you know, there's a bit where he's like, yeah, you know, I do wonder if I would have closeness with my birth family. But also I know that like, you know, the closeness that Princess has with her siblings who she sees occasionally is not the same as like, the closeness that the cats in the clan have.

PAZ: Yeah, he like, thinks some thoughts about like, you know, would my life have been different? Like, what am I missing?

LIZ: And he still does feel like, like that level of remove, and he's like, lonely. Like, damn, I wish I had someone who knew exactly like where I was coming from and had the same experiences.

JULIAN: Yeah, that moment where they both-- like he and Princess talk about like, the bedding that their mom had when they were kits is really sweet and like, poignant.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Because he doesn't have anyone in the clan who remembers how he grew up.

PAZ: And like, what they think of his childhood is just like, really mean to kittpets because they're all xenophobic. So he can't even really talk about it I think is one of the points. Like he can't tell anyone like he saw his sister or anything. And it stresses him out and it's just, yeah.

JULIAN: Also the bit where he doesn't remember her name is awful.

LIZ: Oh, yeah, that was bad.

PAZ: Aw, I know.

JULIAN: Like, initially, he can't remember it and he's like, Oh, I'm Rusty. And then like, finally does remember it but like, it takes him a bit and that's just like, ah. Aw, buddy.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: I hope he finds, you know, something where he feels like he can be his whole self. I also got to say, Rusty, do you think your balls really would have been stolen? Because apparently nobody spays or neuters their cats here. Because your sister's just pregnant. She obviously didn't go get the-- what the fuck.

JULIAN: The snip?

PAZ: The cut. Think he might have had balls still.

JULIAN: Like she's pregnant, which clearly means that like A, she didn't get neutered and also, like, whatever cat is the father didn't get neutered either.

PAZ: What is up with this neighborhood?

LIZ: Did you catch the part where-- I mean, like, she says that all the siblings are still kind of nearby too. So do like-- I just want to know if a cat gets pregnant in this neighborhood, do they just distribute the kittens to neighbors, or do they just keep all of them? Cause I know that happens but that can't be regular.

PAZ: When our cat Maria kept having kittens before we could get her to the vet, we would just post free kittens sign. People would come and check out the kittens. I don't know. But it wasn't just like our immediate neighbors.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: No, not at all.

JULIAN: The HOA where it's like, to live in this neighborhood, you must accept every fucking six months or whatever.

PAZ: Oh god. Yeah okay, so let's go through our list of kittypets so far. Princess, wasn't fixed. Their mom, Nutmeg, obviously wasn't fixed. Jake, still had his balls because he fathered children at some point. I guess Henry is the only one we got confirmed to...

JULIAN: Smudge. Smudge got neutered.

PAZ: Oh, yes. Smudge got neutered. Okay. I don't know.

LIZ: So two out of like, what? Six, seven? Probably more.

PAZ: Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what's going on here.

LIZ: They're really just lax about it over in England, huh.

JULIAN: I mean, is it England or is it just this book?

LIZ: Is it just this one neighborhood in England? Like oh yeah, that's cat city.

JULIAN: That's cat hell.

PAZ: Maybe it's some sort of weird hippie community.

JULIAN: You know what, maybe that's why all the Twolegs they run into are so awful to the cats because it's like you know...

PAZ: Oh, it's just overrun.

JULIAN: The neighbors are really nice, but like anyone who comes and visits this park is like, oh fuck. It's the fucking cats again. It's all the horrible cats.

LIZ: It's like that one island they always talk about on clickbait articles that's like, oh yeah, this is the city of cats. And they're just everywhere.

PAZ: Oh, the one in Japan? Or near Japan.

LIZ: God, yeah.

JULIAN: I want to read a Warriors book set with the feral cat colonies that live in the Colosseum. That's all I want.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Oh fuck yeah. They'd all be Italian. Cat mafia.

LIZ: The Meowdessy.

JULIAN: You already have a clan structure.

LIZ: The Kittyad.

PAZ: On the day of my daughter's naming ceremony. But to go back to that point about Fireheart's character exploration in this segment, like the second to last sentence in these sort of chapters was just really nice. It was just a good sentence. It was, "He had found the closeness he had missed, but it had given shape to a sense of loneliness that until now had lain vague and nameless in his heart."

JULIAN: Aw buddy.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: That was a good little sentence and evocative of a feeling. And just wanna give him a little hug.

LIZ: He's just a little guy.

JULIAN: He's just a little guy.

PAZ: He's a little guy, but also now a responsible teacher.

JULIAN: He's a little guy and he's also a father.

PAZ: And an accessory to murder.

JULIAN: I mean, manslaughter. Graystripe didn't mean to kill him. It wasn't premeditated.

PAZ: Yeah, sorry, Graystripe.

LIZ: Has Firepaw killed anyone yet? Fireheart, sorry.

PAZ: No.

LIZ: I don't think so.

PAZ: He wanted to kill that one ShadowClan cat but then I think Whitestorm was like, no, we do not kill, apparently.

LIZ: The emphasis on it, and I mean, the emphasis on Whiteclaw dying and like the almost murder from the last ep, I wonder if it's gonna come to a head at like the finale of this book.

PAZ: Yeah, maybe. I just... I know in later books cats die so much, but murder seems to be like... so far the only like onscreen murder slash manslaughter we've seen is Oakheart. Is that the guy? I don't know. That RiverClan cat who got killed by Redtail. And then all of Tigerclaw's murder victims, but that was obviously evil. And then there's accidental death. But I know these cats are killing each other in later books. So I don't know. Maybe it's just like a change that happens.

JULIAN: I feel like there is some-- there is like a shift. But I don't remember when it happens.

PAZ: Yeah, I'll be curious to see if it happens like within the first series, or if that only really starts happening like, second series onwards.

JULIAN: There's definitely murders in the first series.

PAZ: Okay.

JULIAN: Unless I'm misremembering what happens in the first series.

PAZ: No, I mean, there's like murders. I know there's murders of like the other evil group. But I'm talking like interclan murders.

JULIAN: Oh, gotcha.

LIZ: What other evil group? Hold on. Wait.

PAZ: Don't worry about it.

LIZ: Okay, sure.

PAZ: We'll get there.

LIZ: Hmm.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't know. We'll see.

JULIAN: Yeah, there have so far been no war crimes, I would say. At least in these chapters. I think this book has also been pretty low war crime.

PAZ: Yeah, I feel like the war crimes might be coming up, though.

JULIAN: Yeah, I probably shouldn't call it. We're only on chapter 10.

PAZ: Yeah, I think we're gearing up for war crimes.

JULIAN: I guess hunting on WindClan's territory after driving them out could probably be construed as a war crime.

PAZ: Yeah. Breaking treaty, breaking word also. So there were war crimes. Couldn't go 10 chapters without some war crimes.

LIZ: Well, it is Warrior Cats. Not like non Warrior Cats. I think I've made this joke but better before. These are some fighting cats.

JULIAN: Cat fight.

PAZ: They sure are. I don't know. I don't have anything else really for these chapters. I don't-- does anyone else?

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't either.

LIZ: As a note, I think it's very funny that in like these chapters Tigerclaw he's being put on like, the sensible side of the argument or whatever. Yeah. It's just like, he's just acting normal guy now, but he's still evil.

PAZ: Yeah. He was so normal guy these chapters, noticeably.

LIZ: It's very funny.

JULIAN: Yeah, I feel like it's like trying to set us up for like, a twist when he goes mask off again. But.

LIZ: But what if he does-- what if he does just become normal? He's like, Oh, yeah, Vice President. This is good enough. I'm retiring my evil ways. I'm still mean, but from now on, I'm just going to be critiquing your teaching style.

JULIAN: Which frankly, needs it.

PAZ: Fireheart, have you considered murdering your apprentice as a motivator?

JULIAN: Oh.

LIZ: Oh, no? Well, have you considered taking notes?

JULIAN: Fireheart, have you thought about taking some continuing education classes? Some workshops?

LIZ: Night classes.

JULIAN: Personal development? Professional development?

PAZ: Needs to get his education certificate.

JULIAN: Yeah. Fireheart, where's your MA?

LIZ: You know, Fireheart, they have some courses on LinkedIn that you can take. About seven hours each. You get a little certificate at the end. That's how I got mine.

JULIAN: Fireheart learns to code. Fireheart goes to boot camp. Comes out with a Udemy badge.

LIZ: Are we good for these chapters?

PAZ: Yeah, I think we're good.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: It was only three chapters. And it was a lot of like, internal stuff.

JULIAN: Right, they're a lot less eventful than the last ones.

LIZ: Everyone's very sad.

PAZ: Yeah. Yeah.

[meow]

So, in honor of meeting Princess these chapters, I decided maybe we should look at all of the canonical kittypet names and rate them and see what the kittypet names got going on, because I think we were pretty positive on Nutmeg last week.

LIZ: Oh, yeah.

PAZ: So we're gotta see if there's more where that came from. So I'm pulling up the list of canon kittypets on the Warriors wiki. Okay, I'm just gonna go down them and we can give our thoughts. How about that?

JULIAN: Sounds good.

LIZ: All right.

PAZ: So the first that we have is Algernon? Is that how you say that? Al-grr-non?

JULIAN: Al-jer-non, yep.

PAZ: And Bess. How are we feeling about that?

JULIAN: I like them, but only as a duo. Like you got to have Algernon and Bess. They really play off each other.

PAZ: Yeah, I agree.

LIZ: They sound like a separate pirate duo in Black Sails.

PAZ: Yeah, I agree. They have to be a pair. Okay, next we have Hal.

JULIAN: Eh.

PAZ: Pretty boring.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Pixie.

JULIAN: Very good.

PAZ: Eh. Yeah, I think it depends on the cat. I have to visualize this cat.

JULIAN: That's true. This is a fluffy white she cat, which is like a less good-- I hear Pixie and I'm biased by our friend Erin's very good cat who is a little tabby freak.

LIZ: Pixie should be a freak.

JULIAN: And this doesn't... this cat does not sound like a freak.

PAZ: No. Freaks only. Okay, the next cat is Red.

JULIAN: Eh.

PAZ: Uh, it's okay, I guess.

LIZ: We've got a good ginger cat already. And Fireheart really got the protagonist name thing down.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Okay. Next cat is Marmalade.

JULIAN: Excellent.

LIZ: 10 out of 10.

PAZ: This is fantastic. He is described as a large ginger tom.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: I am a huge fan of this name. Then we got Jay.

JULIAN: Eh.

PAZ: It's okay.

LIZ: It's all right.

PAZ: I do like-- a very old black and white she cat. I'm just picturing Chloe.

JULIAN: Oh.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Then we have Jake. I feel like we already discussed his name, but I'll just reiterate. I love when a cat is just named a guy.

JULIAN: Just a human man.

PAZ: Then we have Twig.

JULIAN: Very good.

PAZ: That's pretty good. I like the energy that brings. Then we have another duo. It's Cherry and Boris.

LIZ: Very good together.

PAZ: I love Boris so much.

JULIAN: That's another human man name.

PAZ: Right? It just sounds like some Russian, old Russian man. I don't know.

JULIAN: Who is out here naming their cat Boris? I love it.

PAZ: I don't know but they chose right.

LIZ: I mean--

PAZ: Um-- yeah, go ahead.

LIZ: No. Our good friend does have a cat named Putin. Short for, if I'm remembering correctly, Rasputin, so.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Exactly. Then we have Echo. That's okay, I guess.

LIZ: Nice Friends at the Table reference.

JULIAN: Next cat name is Fourteen Fifteen.

PAZ: No, if only. Hutch. I don't know.

JULIAN: It really depends on the cat.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I feel like.

PAZ: It's original, I guess.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: I'll give it points for that.

JULIAN: "Hutch is a dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes and hard paw pads." Why do we know that his paw pads are hard?

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: You mush them.

PAZ: How am I gonna squeeze his beans?

JULIAN: Give him some coconut oil.

PAZ: Okay, our next cat is Oscar. Once again, love just a normal human man name.

LIZ: I know I shouldn't be looking at the descriptions of these cause they're probably really spoilery.

PAZ: Yeah, don't do that. Stop.

LIZ: But this one's really funny. I won't remember it by then.

PAZ: Okay, you can read it.

LIZ: But if anyone's worried about spoilers, cover your ears. This says, "an unknowing descendent of SkyClan who chooses not to live in SkyClan because he believes clan ideas are stupid."

PAZ: I agree with Oscar.

JULIAN: That's a real Oscar-- Oscar would.

PAZ: Classic Oscar. Okay, the next cat is Bella. It's boring, I guess. I don't know. Another duo, Rose and Lily.

JULIAN: It's fine. It doesn't have the same energy as our previous duos.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: No, I don't... they're not bringing the same heat. I guess at least they have a theme, which is flowers.

LIZ: I want these to be like really out there cats, if it has to work, like real fancy or really evil.

JULIAN: Yeah, I just want like a cat with a flower name that's like really fucking-- like, where's my cat named Hydrangea?

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Fuck yeah. Okay, next cat is Hattie. Feel like that's cute.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Sounds like it should be like a little, little old cat. Next cat is Velvet.

LIZ: Very decadent.

PAZ: Yeah, just makes me think of the Velveteen Rabbit.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Which I guess is a vibe. I don't know. Okay, then we have Benny.

LIZ: That's cute.

PAZ: It's pretty good. It's not as good as the other man names but it's cute. Then we have Brandy.

JULIAN: Brandy feels like such a 90s name to name your cat.

LIZ: Yeah. Like you're definitely thinking of like Brandi, capital B Brandi, right?

JULIAN: Oh, yes.

LIZ: I guess these did come out around that time.

JULIAN: Like that cat needs to bring that energy.

LIZ: This is a cat with a rhinestone collar.

PAZ: I think the name is better conjunction when you see that his sibling is Minty.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Oh, that's good.

PAZ: I think that's a good pair of names. So another one where I think a duo really brings out that energy.

JULIAN: The next one is also a duo. Or like, half a duo.

PAZ: Yeah. So it's Frankie. And then Jesse.

LIZ: Very cute.

PAZ: Those are just like, those are solid names. (laughing) The next cat is O'Hara.

JULIAN: Oh boy.

LIZ: Uh.

JULIAN: Bad, but it's not her fault.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Oh, God. Okay, next name is Parsnip.

JULIAN: Excellent.

PAZ: I love that.

LIZ: 10 out of 10.

PAZ: This is a perfect cat name.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: I'm gonna keep it in mind for future cats, I think. It's powerful.

LIZ: I think Parsnip should have like a little vegetable clan and it should just be like, here's my deputy Carrots. Here's my other deputy, Rutabaga. And my [laughs] I don't know, my apprentices, like, Cabbage and... I'm running out of vegetables.

JULIAN: Peapod.

LIZ: Potato. Peapod, yeah.

PAZ: Polly. Eh.

JULIAN: I like Polly, but I think I'm mostly biased toward it because it's my grandma's name. So I'm just envisioning like a very like old, cheerful cat.

PAZ: That would be good. Then we have Riga, I guess? It's unique.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: It's probably a person name or something?

PAZ: Yeah, I don't know.

JULIAN: I think it's a person name.

PAZ: Points for not being a common name. Scarlett.

LIZ: No. Hold on a second. Are Scarlett and O'Hara a duo?

PAZ: Oh, no.

JULIAN: Oh, I'm very afraid that they might be.

LIZ: I don't like that. No.

PAZ: They both live in the same place apparently.

JULIAN: Nooo.

LIZ: Bad.

JULIAN: Hate it.

LIZ: Not their fault. But bad.

PAZ: No, but I'm looking at Scarlett's wiki page. It doesn't mention O'Hara anywhere, so. Maybe not.

JULIAN: That might be an Erin Hunter badness.

LIZ: Oh, no. Okay, wait. It says they're hostile. [laughs]

JULIAN: Well, then the name is perfect.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't think they're together. They live in the same neighborhood. I think that's about it. Thank God. Okay, then we have Victor.

JULIAN: Excellent.

PAZ: That's powerful.

LIZ: Mm-hmm.

JULIAN: Oh.

PAZ: Then we have Webster.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: I like-- I love that.

LIZ: Yes.

PAZ: That's a little, like, nerd cat.

LIZ: With glasses.

PAZ: Exactly. Then we have Ziggy. That's also cute.

JULIAN: I think the four here are just really good kind of in conjunction, where it's like Victor, Webster, and Ziggy.

PAZ: Yeah, that's a great combo. That's a little like, YA friend group.

LIZ: They all sound like, like in that book, they would be the little nerd group that's going to go on like some sort of robotics competition thing. And it's about friendship.

PAZ: Exactly.

LIZ: And accepting who you are.

PAZ: The next name is Betsy.

JULIAN: Cute.

PAZ: It's a good name for an old cat. Gonna skip some of these names. Max. Eh.

LIZ: Can we go back to one? Just one because it's--

PAZ: No, we gotta skip them.

LIZ: Aw, but the one before that is so...

JULIAN: It's really good.

PAZ: Okay, I don't think that counts as a real kittypet name.

JULIAN: This was clearly not chosen by a human but Harveymoon.

LIZ: Can we give it a shout out?

PAZ: Harvest Moon sequel, Harveymoon.

JULIAN: Is that what they're calling it now that they can't use the Harvest Moon trademark anymore?

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Harveymoon, friend of Susanclaw.

JULIAN: Now I'm gonna be imagining them as an elderly couple.

PAZ: That's perfect.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Okay, um, Ajax.

JULIAN: Excellent, real powerful name.

LIZ: Mm-hmm.

PAZ: That just reminds me of dogs because I read a book about a half-dog half-dingo named Ajax, but that's my own bias.

JULIAN: Can I just read his description real quick?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: "Ajax is a kittypet and friend of Rose and Fuzzball."

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Yeah, I was waiting to get to Fuzzball on this list to rate that, but Fuzzball is a 10 out of 10 also.

LIZ: All three of those together are just... what a wonderful friend group. Powerful.

PAZ: Then we have Pickle.

LIZ: Beautiful.

PAZ: Perfect.

JULIAN: He has a squashed in face.

PAZ: Aw, Pickle. Imagine Pickle and... what was it? I've already forgotten it. Yes, Pickle and Parsnip together. Imagine that.

JULIAN: Oh yes.

LIZ: Oh, yeah.

PAZ: Yeah. Powerful.

LIZ: Wait, wait, wait. Do you think Pickle used to be Cucumber when he was younger and then as he aged he became Pickle?

PAZ: God.

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: Then we have Yew.

LIZ: Oh, me?

[laughter]

PAZ: Yep. Then we have Bumble.

LIZ: Beautiful.

JULIAN: That's very good.

PAZ: I like to picture this as the cats, you know, with like the balance like condition.

JULIAN: Oh yeah.

PAZ: Where they wobble.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Yeah, it'd be a cute name.

JULIAN: I do think it's a cute name. I do think about the dating app unfortunately.

PAZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: But it's fine.

PAZ: I forgot that existed. Um, there is a cat just called Tom.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Good.

PAZ: Here's Tom's description. "He is hostile to every cat he meets and is a mean bully."

JULIAN: Good for him.

LIZ: So this is an old man.

PAZ: Who wrote this? Then we have a cat, Flower. Eh.

JULIAN: Eh.

PAZ: I don't know about--

JULIAN: She is said to be frightened by strange cats.

PAZ: Who isn't?

JULIAN: So I'm picturing a very skittish creature.

PAZ: Yeah. Um, we got our boy Rusty. I think that was a pretty good name, but could be better.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah. Then we have Smudge. I think Smudge is a cute name.

JULIAN: Smudge is very good.

PAZ: We have Princess.

JULIAN: Eh.

LIZ: Classic.

PAZ: That name didn't do much for me.

LIZ: In context, it's very good.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Right, when you know that Princess is the daughter of Jake and Nutmeg.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah. Um, then we have Henry.

LIZ: The best.

PAZ: We love Henry. Henry is 11 out of 10. Fantastic.

LIZ: I'm looking at Henry's page wondering if there have been any hot Henry updates.

PAZ: No, I think we already established this.

LIZ: There's a pretty good image of him. He doesn't look as big as I imagined him, though.

PAZ: Yeah, it's like the stock Warriors wiki for kittypets.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: I want him to be like a real chongus.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Okay, moving on. We got Purdy. I think that's a great name.

LIZ: Mm-hmm.

JULIAN: Mm-hmm.

PAZ: Cody.

LIZ: That's just a boy. That's just a guy. A lad.

JULIAN: Cody feels like a dog name to me.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, if you told me there was an animal named Cody, I think I would assume a dog. Then we have Sasha.

JULIAN: Cute.

PAZ: It's okay.

LIZ: Also feels like a dog name, but like a sort of big furry one.

PAZ: Yeah, kind of.

JULIAN: Mm, I can see that.

PAZ: Then we have another duo. Jacques and Susan.

JULIAN: Perfect.

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Jacques is such a good cat name.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: And with Susan, though, that's like...

JULIAN: Yeah. I'm picturing like, you know how kids cartoons have like, sometimes just a very stereotypical French character.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I'm picturing like a little cartoon where it's like, I'm Jacques. (high-pitched creaky voice) And I'm Susan.

PAZ: Yeah, Jacques has a little beret on.

JULIAN: Yeah, he's all stripey.

LIZ: I've seen this and it's the cooking show that Jacques Pepin had with Julia Child. This is just what it is.

JULIAN: Perfect.

PAZ: We have, um, Jingo. I have to say, don't name your cat that.

LIZ: Mm-mm.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think the cat right after is also bad.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: It's like Jingo and Huss-er. Or Hussar. I don't actually know how to pronounce that word.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Bad.

PAZ: Yeah, it's like a cavalry person. Really leaning on that theme. Then we have Snowdrop.

JULIAN: Perfect.

LIZ: Cute.

PAZ: I think for a little kitten, that would be a very cute name. We have Jigsaw.

[laughter]

Yeah?

LIZ: I love puzzles. That's the only reason I'm laughing.

JULIAN: I think it's a very good cat name.

PAZ: Yeah. Is Seville how you pronounce this next one?

JULIAN: I think so.

LIZ: Yeah, like with the oranges?

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Seville oranges.

JULIAN: Unless you're being super like, "suh-veal" or "suh-vee" or something. But like I don't think anyone...

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: That's like people who say "cwossan."

LIZ: Oh god, can I get another read on that? That was very good.

JULIAN: You want me to...? "Cwossan."

LIZ: Name a cat that.

JULIAN: But you have to say it exactly like that.

PAZ: Uh-huh. Next up we have Bob.

JULIAN: Good.

PAZ: 10 out of 10. Fantastic. Then we have Zelda.

LIZ: Great cat name.

JULIAN: Can I just read this list of like the next like three or four, kind of all in conjunction?

PAZ: Yeah, go ahead.

JULIAN: So we have Bob, Zelda, Max, and Loki.

PAZ: Wow.

JULIAN: Just a real--

PAZ: One for the Marvel fans there.

JULIAN: That's another YA book friend group.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: You have Zelda, your sort of token girl. And then Loki, who clearly chose their own name.

PAZ: Loki's just LARPing. I think we already rated the next two, which is Velvet and Fuzzball.

JULIAN: Fuzzball is still so good.

PAZ: Fuzzball's still fantastic. Okay, everyone brace yourself for the next two. It's Eggs and Bacon.

LIZ: Perfect.

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: Best ones.

PAZ: And Eggs and Bacon are the sons of Pancakes.

LIZ: Oh my god, they're siblings. Of course they are.

PAZ: This is 100% the best names on this list.

LIZ: Pancakes, you've done it.

JULIAN: Pack it up. What else can we do?

LIZ: We can't go on.

PAZ: It's so good.

LIZ: Fuck.

PAZ: Oh my god. Okay, um, we got Millie... eh.

JULIAN: Eh.

PAZ: Also, Liz, don't look at these descriptions. I'm covering your eyes.

LIZ: Okay, can I-- I'm covering the half that has the descriptions and I'm just looking at the names.

PAZ: Uh-huh.

LIZ: These... these mostly look like people names going forward.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah. We got Millie, Duke, Ruby, and Socks. I think Socks is cute.

LIZ: Socks is cute.

PAZ: Socks is a classic.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Quince... Okay.

LIZ: So a fruit?

JULIAN: I think it's a fruit.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: You little fruit.

LIZ: Tigerclaw.

PAZ: We have Shnuky.

JULIAN: Oh, that's good.

PAZ: That's a powerful name.

LIZ: Oh, when did that book come out, with the Shnuky in it?

JULIAN: Shnuky's in the mangas.

PAZ: Yeah. Then we have Patch. That's cute.

JULIAN: Cute.

PAZ: Then we have Harry. Once again, that one's just a guy.

JULIAN: Can I just post real quick an image of Shnuky?

PAZ: Yeah, please.

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: From the wiki? That may be from the official art. Um, this is not a cat.

LIZ: Wait. Wait a second.

PAZ: Oh my god. That's definitely from the manga.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: That's a man. Or that's some sort of human.

PAZ: This is a human man who's been cursed to be a hairless cat.

JULIAN: He looks like those paintings.

LIZ: This cat has the eyes of Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid.

JULIAN: The legs are also all wonky. They're like--

PAZ: They look like arms.

JULIAN: I'm like... so I assume this is, because I don't want to make fun of it if this is like a child's fan art.

PAZ: No, I think this is the manga for sure.

JULIAN: Oh god.

LIZ: I think it is. It's got that screen tone.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think oh, it does have screen... Yeah, no, this was drawn by an artist. These are human eyes.

PAZ: Yeah, it's kind of scary.

JULIAN: I hate to look at this.

LIZ: They're human eyes and they're begging you to set him free from this cursed form.

JULIAN: God, and the back legs. One knee bends forward like a human's knee. And then the other knee is bending back.

PAZ: God.

LIZ: This is an animorph mid-transformation.

PAZ: Oh god. Okay, we're almost at the end here. Let's get haulin'. Myler.

JULIAN: I... sure?

PAZ: I don't know. I guess.

JULIAN: I don't know how I feel about that.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: It feels like a... like a Kayleigh. Like a Michaela name.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't know. It's a name, I guess. Um, Crystal? She's just like, a blonde.

LIZ: That's the name of my old boss.

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's like, the problem with Crystal is that it is a human name. But it doesn't have the same kind of human name energy that like... Susan--

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: This is no...

JULIAN: --has because it's also an object.

PAZ: This is no Boris.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, not a Boris at all.

PAZ: We have Violet. It's fine.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Riley. Also fine, I guess.

JULIAN: Yeah, Riley's cute I think.

PAZ: Yeah, depending on the cat, I think. Then we have Lulu.

JULIAN: Lulu's very good.

LIZ: Good.

PAZ: That's what my dad calls my cat Loo, whose full name is Waterloo technically.

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: Heck yeah.

JULIAN: I didn't know Loo was short for Waterloo. That's really cute.

PAZ: Then we have Madric. I feel like that's something, but I don't know what that is. Okay, googling it just showed me soccer players so I don't know. I guess it's a--

LIZ: This is a jock.

PAZ: Oh my god, this cat's homophobic.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: "He is an antagonistic kittypet who acts hostile towards Ravenpaw and Barley--"

JULIAN: Fuck off, Madric.

PAZ: "--and accuses them of trespassing."

LIZ: Fuck you. Get out of here.

PAZ: Madric's just some fucking straight boy in those like knee length shorts in winter on the football team.

JULIAN: Ravenpaw and Barley don't respect your land borders.

PAZ: No. And then we have Pasha. I don't know why this is the second cat named after historical military officers, but okay.

JULIAN: Isn't Pasha also like a diminutive for like Sasha?

PAZ: Is it?

JULIAN: I thought it was.

PAZ: I believe that, yeah. It probably is. Oh my god. Okay, I just have to read this description. "A dark tabby. He is one of the kittypets tormenting SkyClan."

LIZ: Oh no.

PAZ: Oh god. Okay, that's all the kittypet names.

JULIAN: We did it.

LIZ: I think there's some more.

PAZ: No, I think that's all of them.

LIZ: No, if you click on the-- did we miss Gremlin?

JULIAN: What?

PAZ: Where is this?

JULIAN: Oh, there's-- if we go into List of kittypets, there are more kittypets.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Liz, I don't want you to-- stop clicking around. Please.

JULIAN: Here, I opened it up. There's no spoilers on this list. And we don't have to read them all because there are--

PAZ: No, Liz, close the list. I'm holding a gun up.

JULIAN: 155.

LIZ: I'm closing it.

JULIAN: Um, but I just want to call out a couple of really good ones.

PAZ: Yeah, please.

JULIAN: Bigteeth. Bugeater. Buster.

LIZ: They're good.

JULIAN: Cheddar.

PAZ: Oh god.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Oh, we do have a good-- Daffodil.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: That's cute. Diesel.

JULIAN: Yeah. Um, Gremlin, as mentioned.

LIZ: Perfect.

JULIAN: We have not only Hal, Harry, Harvey, Hattie, and Henry, all of which are good.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Macgyver. Oh, Miss Mama Cat. Hello?

PAZ: Oh my god. That is incredible.

JULIAN: I must know more. Oh, Miss Mama Cat is a different name for a cat who has a separate name.

PAZ: Oh, yeah. Don't click.

LIZ: Spoilers, huh?

PAZ: Look away from this list.

LIZ: I'm not clicking. I'm not clicking.

PAZ: Holding up the gun.

LIZ: I've exited. Don't worry.

PAZ: Okay.

JULIAN: Um, let's see. Raindrop, very good. Scraps.

PAZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Shanty, Snooky.

PAZ: Tiny.

JULIAN: I can't be fond of Tiny because I know who Tiny is.

PAZ: Oh yeah, fuck, I forgot. Yeah, you're right.

LIZ: Oh, that's very ominous.

PAZ: Yeah. That bitch Tiny.

JULIAN: But apparently there are two Tinys. So maybe I can be fond of one of them.

PAZ: No, it says graphic novel.

JULIAN: Oh, they've listed it twice.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: They just haven't sanitized this list well. Um, but yeah, there's some good ones on here. I think we-- oh, Little Mew. I missed Little Mew.

PAZ: Aw.

LIZ: More cats should have little titles.

PAZ: I agree.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Like imagine if--

JULIAN: Oh.

LIZ: I don't know, Nutmeg was like Miss Nutmeg.

PAZ: Aw, that's very good.

JULIAN: Little Mew is the kit of Husker and Moss and kin to Splash. Their siblings are Pad, Raindrop, and Birdy. And they all live in a barn besides a Twoleg nest.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: Aw, that's so cute.

LIZ: They're in their own book. This is some like Beatrix Potter shit.

JULIAN: Oh my god, Little Mew has anime bangs.

PAZ: Oh my god, please. Please please please. Oh my. They're horrible.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Little Mew has 90s boy like middle part anime bangs.

LIZ: Little Mew looks exactly like a little boy in Pathologic Classic.

JULIAN: Here's the screentone version of Little Mew so you can see the bangs better.

PAZ: The bangs are colored differently.

LIZ: Little Mew's frosted tips.

JULIAN: Little Mew's center part.

PAZ: Oh God.

JULIAN: Little Mew's Edward Elric haircut.

LIZ: No!

PAZ: It also kinda looks like Yugioh hair.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: I love the Warriors manga. I love that it exists and that it gave all the cats anime bangs.

LIZ: But not the ones we wanted.

JULIAN: Oh.

PAZ: Okay, well, that's all the kittypet names. I think there's some pretty good ones here.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: So good job, Erins.

LIZ: 98% good job.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Can I share one more art from the manga?

LIZ: Yes.

PAZ: Oh yeah, please.

JULIAN: This is Birdy.

LIZ: Holy shit. What the fuck.

PAZ: Does she have eyeshadow on?

LIZ: What the... who...

JULIAN: I just, I love that for the manga they appear not to have gotten like furry artists or people who were particularly good at drawing cats.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: They got some like regular manga artists and were like, hey, you're good at shoujo manga, right? Um, can you draw cats? Don't worry. It's just like people.

LIZ: This cat looks like one of those old cats in the Cats musical.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: This is Grizabella the glamour cat. But this is before she really went downhill. You know? She's got her eyeshadow. She's looking fierce.

PAZ: Uh-huh.

LIZ: This is her in her prime.

PAZ: Yeah. Got her side face fluff styled to perfection.

LIZ: I don't like this expression that the artist has drawn.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: She looks really vacuous. It's kind of scary.

LIZ: Don't look at me with those big old eyes.

PAZ: Oh gosh. Okay, well, I think that might do it for us. It's been a while. It's been a journey.

LIZ: I think we can agree that there are three really good categories of kittypet names. So there's one, just stuff in the kitchen. Two, just human names. And three, which is just kind of like a cutesy descriptor.

PAZ: Yeah. I agree.

LIZ: Fuzzball, you know, can't top that.

JULIAN: Socks.

LIZ: I think for the new generation of Warrior Cats as a series, if they have more kittypets, there should be cats named Toaster and Tax Return. That seems to be what millennials are doing now, right?

PAZ: No, it's for the children. It has to be like TikTok and, um...

LIZ: This is my cat Fortnite.

PAZ: My cat Fortnite. Exactly.

JULIAN: Name your cat after memes that are like three years old. This is my cat Doge.

PAZ: Oh god.

LIZ: Name your cat Bean Dad now to be already out of date.

PAZ: My cat Milkshake Duck.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: This is my cat Warrior Cat. I'm sure somewhere there is a cat rescue that is naming their cats after memes.

PAZ: Oh, absolutely.

JULIAN: Ensuring that everyone who adopts the cats will immediately rename them.

PAZ: Mind games. Okay, I'm gonna call it here. Great list, some great names. But we'll be back next week reading chapters 11 through 14. And as always, you can follow the show on Twitter @staircast and send in any questions or anecdotes to stairwaytostarclan@gmail.com. I can't remember if there's anything else to plug. Oh, I don't know if I ever mentioned it on the podcast but the episode summaries like written out, I'm linking them in the episode description. If anyone wants to look at that, they're there. Other than that, I think that's it. So until next time, may StarClan light your path. Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

[outro music]

Let's podcast. Sorry.

JULIAN: We have to get that MeUndies money.

PAZ: Ugh. MeUndies wishes, but they'll never get us. They won't corner this market.

[skiesofthesketchy]

The Office

AN//: hello dis is 4u. I made it. special thx to my friend @rogueimagination for givin me writing advice and givin me da courage 2 post. plss let me kno what u think !!! much love <3

Pairing: Dylan O’Brien + Reader

Word Count: 3364

Warnings: Swearing

“I guess what I’m saying is... we should see other people.”

I bit my lip hard and held back tears. A million thoughts ran through my head at once, but nothing seemed to make sense. Weren’t we happy together? I guess not. Because here I am, getting dumped.

What did I do? Why doesn’t he like me anymore? Did he even like me to begin with? There must be another girl. No, he would never cheat.

I lifted the corners of my lips as much as I could without falling apart.

“Yes, I think that would be best too,” I lied, not wanting to look pathetic by overreacting and breaking down, but also wanting to get the hell out of here as fast as possible.

I turned away but found myself glancing back at him one last time.

“Goodbye Dylan.”

That was two years ago, but I still think about it sometimes. About him. We weren’t together very long, but the whole experience sticks with me. I was young and naive. I reflect back on that part of my life so that I know what mistakes I’ve already made and will never make again. 

I didn’t know anything back then. To me, Dylan was everything I could want in a guy. Attractive, funny, charming. He even brought me flowers from time to time. I never considered the fact that we hardly had anything in common. I mean, I wouldn’t know anyway. We didn’t talk much. We didn’t have anything close to a deep connection, but I didn’t know that either. As far as I knew, we were on the path to being in love. We did all the things couples do. Went out to dinner, held hands, sent good morning texts to one another. I thought things couldn’t be better.

That’s why I was pretty caught off guard when Dylan told me, “We need to talk.” Dylan not feeling the same way I did was a thought that never crossed my mind. I was confused and hurt. After the break up, I racked my brain trying to figure out what I did to make him not like me anymore. It took a while, but I finally realized it wasn't me at all. We just weren't meant to be.

Perhaps we were both too inexperienced in relationships to make ours a successful one. Either way, that's in the past. I do look back on it sometimes, because it’s good to know where you’ve been. And boy, have I come a long way since then.

“Hey, Y/N! I'm glad I caught you!”

My thoughts were interrupted and my walking rhythm faltered a bit.

“Oh. Hey Ethan! How are you?”

“I'm great. Better now though,” he flirted.

Ethan is my co-worker. Other girls in the office drool over him, but they eventually end up hating him instead when he doesn't call them after getting them in the sack.

“Did you want to talk to me?” I asked, focusing on where I'm going rather than him. 

“Yes actually. I called you... will you stop for a second?” He lightly grabbed my hand and we stopped in the lobby of our work building.

“Yeah, I know you called,” I said. “Sorry I didn't get back to you Ethan, it must've slipped my mind.”

“Oh that's okay.” He slipped his hands in his pockets and his gaze focused on the floor instead of my face. Interesting. This is pretty out of character for him. “Well, I called because I had a really great time with you the other night.”

I smiled. “I had a great time too.”

“Can I take you out again then?” He had the same spark in his eye that makes women give in to him. The same grin that makes women blush.

“Maybe.” I start walking again towards the elevators.

“Wait, maybe?” I guess he was expecting a more ecstatic response from me.

“Yeah, maybe. I'm just pretty busy.” I hit the button for the 14th floor, the marketing department, and the elevator doors closed with just us inside.

His confident demeanor fell for a brief moment. I don't normally take pity on the players that can't handle rejection, but I'm feeling nice.

“But I'll definitely call you if any of my plans fall through,” I added.

“I look forward to that,” he replied, confidence radiating off him again like usual. He leaned in and kissed my cheek right before the doors opened to our department’s floor. “See you around, Y/N.”

“Uhmm, did I just see you walking in with Mr. Yummy Hotpants?”

I didn’t even have a chance to sit down before my best friend started asking questions. “Since when did you decide on calling him Mr. Yummy Hotpants?” I laughed.

“Since I realized that it describes him perfectly. Now stop avoiding the question,” Ben sassed me.

“Fine. We went out last Friday.” I woke up my computer and straightened the files left for me on my desk. When I didn’t hear a response from Ben, I peeked over in his direction to find him with his jaw unhinged.

“You’re kidding,” was all he could muster.

“Nope.”

“But I called dibs,” he joked.

I rolled my eyes. “I know. I’m sorry Boo. Unfortunately, you’re just too far out of his league. He couldn’t handle a stud like you.”

“Damn, you’re right. So did you sleep with him?” I kept my eyes on my computer screen and lips shut tight. “Oh my god, Y/N.” Ben was so excited he could barely stay in his chair. “What was it like? Was it amazing?”

“Ben,” I shushed him. “Please can we not talk about this now? I don’t want this to catch wind and find it’s way to everyone in the office.”

“Fine. I guess we wouldn’t want this news to reach Lauren and her little minions or else they’ll try to recruit you into their club, and I’ll never see you again.”

I scoffed. “What club are you talking about?”

“Oh you know. The ‘I’m in love with Ethan, but he doesn’t give me the time of day after that one night stand we had’ club. Duh.”

My life would definitely be boring without Ben. He keeps me updated on all the gossip, and any gossip surrounding Lauren is stuff I like to hear. We aren’t the greatest of friends. “Right. That club.” I skimmed through my emails for a minute. “He did ask me out again, though.”

Again, no response. I looked to my right. Yep, jaw on the floor.

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yes! Mr. Yum, for short, does not do that. Trust me.”

“Well, he did do that.”

“So when’s the date?”

“Oh, I’m not actually planning on going out with him again.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!” This time Ben literally couldn’t stay seated and was so loud, others looked over at us.

“What I mean,” I whispered, “Is that I am not going out with him. Now sit down, you dramatic psycho.”

“Well excuse me for--”

“Y/N. I hope you’re not busy because you are in charge of showing our new employee around.” Cheryl, my boss, raised an eyebrow in Ben’s direction and he sat down at his desk again.

“Of course, Cheryl.”

“He’s waiting downstairs in the reception area.” And without another word, the short woman in her tight up-do and tailored pantsuit strutted away into her office, scowling at other employees as she walked.

“Okay then. I guess I’m off to meet the new guy,” I sighed.

“Don’t think I’m letting you off the hook, girl. We are gonna talk about this when you get back.”

I chuckled with a roll of my eyes. “Wish me luck.”   

Getting the new employees of our department settled in is part of my job. It’s not too bad, but Cheryl finds a certain joy in firing people, especially newcomers, so I end up having to give the grand tour of the office a few times a week. It gets old.

After the elevator ride down to the first floor, I made my way over to Mason at the receptionist counter.

“Hey there, Mas! How are you?”

“Busy. As per usual,” he smiled. “Ready to meet the new kid?”

“You bet. Where is he?”

“Right over there.” He pointed to the far left side of the large waiting area, where I saw one man sitting and reading a magazine. Mason then handed me a folder with all of the man’s paperwork.

“Thanks Mason. Take care.”

He waved goodbye to me as he picked up a phone call. Walking towards the man, I took a deep breath, preparing my regular spiel in my head.

“You must be the new hire,” I began. The man’s eyes shot up to me and he stood up immediately to shake my hand.

“Yes, that’s me. Dylan O’Brien.”

My eyes didn’t recognize him fast enough, but after hearing his name, I finally realized who I was looking at.

Still shaking his hand, it took me a second to respond. “And I’m--”

“Y/N?” Dylan beat me to it. “Wow. I haven’t seen you in so long!” He dropped my hand and pulled me into a hug instead, which I molded into easily.

“It really has, hasn’t it?” I giggled softly, still kind of shocked. I definitely wasn’t expecting to see my ex-boyfriend here. I never really thought I’d run into Dylan again. Though, I was bound to eventually, right?

“How have you been? Great, I imagine. Man, you’ve got this kickass job at this huge ass company! That’s amazing, honestly. Truly. And you look-- wow, you look great, Y/N.” His excitement was bouncing off of him and I could hardly keep up. His smile being the only thing I could seem to focus on. It’s like he hasn’t changed.

“Thank you, Dylan,” I laughed. “And yeah, I am great. I do really like working here. And hey, you now have a kickass job at this huge ass company too!” I exclaimed, nudging him in the side as we casually made our way to the elevators.

“Oh please,” he scoffed. “I’m just the new guy! I heard the boss is pretty hell-bent on getting rookies to quit, too.”

“Oh yes. You’ll love Cheryl,” I joked.

I pushed the up button for the elevator. As we waited briefly for it to arrive, we spent the silence analyzing each other. I already established that his smile and upbeat charisma was the same. But when I looked to his eyes, they were so different. I’m not sure how or in what way, but it was noticeable to me.

I realized that I had been staring, but I wasn’t embarrassed. Dylan was staring at me too, studying my features, doing the same thing I was doing. Wondering what had changed about me. Then a goofy half-smile appeared on his lips. “It’s really good to see you, Y/N.”

Before I could say the same, the elevator doors opened and a handful of people strutted out. We stepped inside along with a few others. “Care for a cup of coffee?” I asked, already hitting the button for the third floor.

“I would love one.”

Stepping off on the third floor, we walked into the food court. “This,” I said, gesturing to the open space, “Is what keeps me going. There’s Chipotle right over there and Chick-fil-A right next to it,” I pointed. “We have indian food, italian, greek, mexican, chinese, thai. And more. You won’t get bored. Not to mention, the best coffee place in the whole city is right this way.” I led Dylan through the crowds of people all needing to be somewhere urgently it would seem. We are in an office building after all.

Lucky for us, the morning coffee rush was over and we didn’t have to wait in line. “Hey girl! How’s it going?” my friend T greeted.

“‘Morning Hun. It’s good. Just showing the new guy around,” I nodded towards Dylan. We had only been here two seconds, and she was already eyeing him like he was made of her favorite candy. While she is a very hedonistic being, I can’t blame her. Anyone could tell how attractive Dylan was from a mile away. “Dylan, this is T. Best barista around, and that’s a fact. T, this is Dylan.” They shook hands over the counter. It was hard not to notice T sticking out her chest and showing off her cleavage as she did so.

“It’s so nice to meet you,” she said flirtily, not even trying to be subtle about it. “So the usual mocha for Y/N, and what would you like Dylan?” she asked, batting her eyelashes and smirking at him.

“I’ll take mine black. Thank you.” I squinted at him trying to figure out if he was oblivious to her obvious flirting, or if he was just unphased. He didn’t seem to notice my quizzical look.

In a few short moments, our drinks were made and I pulled out my debit card for T to swipe. “Oh wait, let me pay.” Dylan reached for his wallet.

“No no, it’s already paid for,” I replied and T handed my card back to me.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he argued.

“It’s really alright. I always get coffee for the new employees in my department. Sort of a welcoming gesture. Plus, I get a discount,” I winked and took a sip of my warm coffee.

“Well, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“And thank you, T,” Dylan said, raising his cup.

“Oh please. Thank you for stopping by,” she winked. “Come back soon!” Again, he seemed unphased by her straight-forward manners as he followed me back to the elevators.

“Alright. And this,” I spun around with my arms out as soon as we stepped off the elevator and onto the 14th floor, “is your new home. So, welcome.” Dylan smiled at me in response. One hand in his pocket and the other gripping his coffee, he took a look around. Large windows on every wall allowing plenty of natural light. The other workers busying themselves and walking in all directions. Posters of our past marketing campaigns aligned the walls, from the high ceilings to the floor. The atmosphere had a creative and upbeat feel to it, one of the reasons I like it here so much. “First impression?” I asked.

He looked over to me with a smile. “It’s really nice. I’m excited to start. I like the vibe in here,” he explained.

“Me too. So,” I waved my hand for him to follow me. “I’m going to introduce you to a few people. Just the important ones and the people you will be working with most of the time.” I glanced at Dylan’s folder that I grabbed from Mason earlier and read that Dylan will be working in Trends for a while. Mostly doing research to find out what marketing tactics work and don’t work according to the trends of the masses currently.

I introduced Dylan to a few of the people that he will be working alongside with, and he was doing really well. His outgoing nature and friendliness had him getting along with everyone easily. While I watched him, I also happened to notice the amount of eyes he attracted. He’s the new guy, yes; it’s only natural for people to look at him. But there were several female eyes in particular that stayed on him longer than a normal amount of time.

Okay, Dylan is really attractive. Obviously. He was when we dated too, but now he’s reached a new level. I’d be lying to myself if I said that I haven’t been sneaking glances at him. To see all these other girls staring too kind of bothered me. Not sure why I’m bothered, though. We haven’t seen each other in two years. We’ve moved on. It’s not like I still like him.

After we finished talking to the others on the Trends team, I wanted to take Dylan over to meet Ben.

“Y/N!” I heard the obnoxious voice that I dislike more than anyone’s. Oh great. Dylan and I turned around and were greeted with the sight of Lauren’s ultra-fake smile. “You were just gonna walk right by me and not introduce me to our new team member?” she asked, high pitched and annoying as hell.

“Oh, of course,” I mimicked her grin. “Where are my manners? This is Dylan. Dylan, meet Lauren.” They shook hands and Dylan brought out the charm like he did while meeting the others this morning. The way she looked at him with her cheery brown eyes and flipped her long dark hair made me angry. She let out a loud laugh. He didn’t even say anything funny.

“Oh Dylan!” she giggled, slapping his chest. I found myself gritting my teeth. It was one thing when T was flirting with him. She’s one of my best friends and I know that once I tell her Dylan is my ex, she’d apologize for getting at him and will stop immediately. Not that she has to, I mean what Dylan and I had has long been over and it shouldn’t bother me if she likes him. Right? But Lauren? Hell no.

I’ve had quite enough of this conversation, and as I took a breath to cut it short and lead Dylan away, I was rudely interrupted. 

“Hey Sweetpea. I know you said you’d call me when you get the free time. But then I thought, ‘I’m Ethan fucking Barnes and I shouldn’t take no for an answer!’ And so I’m not taking no for an answer. You, me, lunchtime. I’m taking you across the street to that italian place.” 

I just stared at him. Did he really think now was the appropriate time to talk about this? And what the hell makes him think he can just tell me what to do like that?

It was like Ethan didn’t realize I was literally in a conversation before he just decided to barge in. “Oh, excuse me. I’m so rude. The name’s Ethan,” he said in his usual smugness and reached for Dylan’s hand. When I looked to Dylan, the way he squinted his eyes made me think he was analyzing Ethan, which is different from how he reacted meeting the others. Not sure. Nevermind that though. My eyes flickered over to Lauren and it was like her head was about to explode. Her eyes were wide, cheeks hot, and her chest heaved up and down. She was fuming.

When she finally glanced at me, I put on the sweetest smile I’m capable of. I knew she liked Ethan; many do, but she must like him a whole lot to be reacting this way. Or maybe she can’t stand that he’s asking me out of all people.

“So, Y/N,” Ethan turned back to me, disregarding Dylan and Lauren once again. “We’ll leave at noon?” His arrogance was the only thing I could really hear in that sentence.

I crafted my response carefully, wanting to reject him while making Lauren jealous at the same time. Before I could voice it though, I watched Lauren’s face twist into a devious smirk.

“Oh. Em. Gee. I didn’t know you two were dating!” she exclaimed, quite loudly in fact. I saw a few heads turn out of the corner of my eye.

“Actually, we--” I tried.

“That is just SO sweet!”

“Right. Except we’re n--”

“Dylan, aren’t they just the perfect couple?” She looped her arm through his, acting overly excited. She sighed dreamily. “I just love the smell of love in the air. Don’t you?”

I was gritting my teeth again. By now, I could tell several people were eavesdropping on us, but they pretended to be busy with their work. “C’mon Dylan. Let’s leave these two lovebirds alone,” she giggled and practically dragged him away. Now it was my turn to start fuming. Out of all the people in the world, she’s the one that really knows how to push my buttons.

“Well that was weird.” Ethan finally decided to speak up and I glared at him. He didn’t try to correct Lauren at all and now half the department thinks we are dating, including Dylan. “So I’ll see you for lunch?” he asked again.

[thirstyfortom]

RFA+V+Saeran meet MC before the party while she is a coffee barista? Maybe she recognizes them and leaves them a little note or something :3 ~ I love your headcanons btw. Also your english is totally fine. Have a nice day ;)

Oh, thank you! Okay, maybe this is silly, but this request made me feel really touched. And I’ll explain why, I remember when I joined tumblr and started reading mm headcanons, I saw a request just like this and it was soooooo good, so freaking cute! I decided I could try to write hcs too and started this humble blog. I never found that headcanon or that blog again, tho :(

So it was so hard to do this, because I kept thinking about that hc, how good it was, and how mine could never get that good. (never compare your writing, children, it’s an endless road of insecurity and self sabotage) But I think in the end these are cute? Hope you like it!

RFA + Saeran and V meeting a barista MC

Zen

He thought about getting some coffee before a morning rehearsal

And there’s this coffee shop on his way to work. Perfect!

He walks in and you immediately look at him. No… Zen? H-here? Did he find you? No, he couldn’t, your profile pic is not that good and…

“Uhm… excuse me? Lady?” he tries to get your attention, you’re taken aback. He chuckles, yes, this is a normal reaction for women when they see him.

Then you proceed to take his order and you keep glancing at him. Well, he’s used to it, but this barista is really cute…

“I really liked ‘Promiscuous Jalapeno’” you say and smile cheerfully. “Oh… so you’re a fan? Thank you!”

“Yes! Can I get an autograph, please?” oh, usually his fans ask for pictures with him… You’re really different, ain’t you?

“What’s your name?” “Hum… you don’t need to put my name, just write… ‘With love, Zen.’” He blushes a little, what’s with him? He does this all the time.

“Here you go, sweetie.” He hands you the napkin he wrote the autograph and you hand him his order. “I can’t wait for your next musical!” you say as he gets out of the shop, he turns and smiles.

He’s smiling to himself, what an interesting girl… no, forget about her, what about MC?

Then he sees the little note on it: “I couldn’t ask for a photo now, I would rather do at the party when we’re alone. With love, MC.”

He wants to go back, but he’s pretty late for work. Oh well… guess he will have to drop by again tomorrow, and the next day too, and the next…

Yoosung

He was on his way to college and needed some caffeine after putting an all nighter playing LOLOL.

You see those violet eyes and immediately smile. Oh my god… what are the chances? Hum, this should be fun…

You get his order and keep smiling the whole time. Okay, he knows the people who work here are usually nice, but you are on a whole another level.

Or maybe there is something in his face? Oh no… so embarrassing! He looks like a fool in front of such a cute girl…

“I couldn’t help but notice, is this a LOLOL bottom in your hoodie?” “Wh-what? Oh… yes! Yes, it is!” Oh, there’s nothing wrong with his face, thank god.

“Do you… do you like LOLOL?” “Oh yeah, I’m ranked #12 in the shooting star server.” “WHOA, SERIOUSLY? I… play there too.” “Cool, are you having problems with that Superman Yoosung too? I gotta say, that guy is good!” OH. MY. GOD!

“Yeah…” he just chuckles, he doesn’t know what to say, he wants to yell “It’s me! It’s me!” but he’s too embarrassed.

You also want to yell “It’s me!” but it would ruin the fun, so you just hand his order and tell him “Good luck with LOLOL!” he’s so flustered he just waves to you as he walks away.

Wow, you’re amazing! And so cute… wait! He shouldn’t be thinking like this, he’s already talking to MC in the chat room… oh, but she’s probably into Zen anyway…

He’s on the bus stop when he sees the note: “LOLOL is fun, but I hope this helps you focus on your studies. Go get’em, Superman Yoosung! ~MC”

He immediately pops in the chat room: “Oh my god, MC! Why didn’t you say anything?” “Meh, it wouldn’t be that fun, right? I like your hoodie, by the way.” You bet he needs that coffee to focus after that…

Jaehee

She drops by this cute coffee shop on her way to C & R. Well, this wouldn’t take long and… tbh, she’s not that worried with C & R as she used to be…

She admires the decoration in the place, and finds this smiley barista staring at her.

You want to greet her and tell her who you are, but nah… her face when she recognizes you in the RFA party will be really cute to watch.

“Did you like the decoration, miss?” “Yes, everything here is so cozy! Your boss have a good taste!”

“She does, it’s a shame she’s selling this place…” “Oh, she is?” you can only imagine all the thoughts she’s having right now, considering your last conversations in the chat room and can’t hold back a chuckle, which she thinks a little… odd.

She watches with attention as you prepare her coffee, you notice and explain to her the grounds you used, the techniques, she’s extremely interested.

“Here you go, miss.” “Thank you! Oh… I should get something to Mr. Han too…” Yes… she almost forgot about Jumin…

You hand hers and Jumin’s coffee. “Have a good day at work, miss!” you smile,oh… what a weird familiar sensation.

Yes, there’s something about you that’s really familiar… almost like… MC? No… it can’t be, you would have say something if it was you, right?

“Assistant Kang, why does my coffee says ‘go easy on Jaehee, okay?’?” she looks puzzled, than she notices hers has a little note too: “I bet your coffee tastes better, but enjoy this! I’m always rooting for you! ~MC”

She smiles for the rest of the day, so many thoughts running in her mind… especially that little fact you shared about the coffee shop being up for sale…

Jumin

He’s there to prove a point, okay? Zen teased him about always making Jaehee doing the simplest tasks for him, he probably couldn’t even get a coffee by himself!

Well, challenge accepted! But as he steps into the coffee shop, he regrets it. How… how does this even work? Do they come to you or…?

You can’t believe what your eyes are seeing. Is that man over there Jumin Han? Well, judging from his fancy clothes and completely lost, yet very stoic expression, it can only be him!

“Sir?” you go to him, “can I help you?”  “Yes, I would like to…” “Oh, follow me to the balcony, please.” Hum, so that’s how it works, he has to go to you… still, how considerate of you to go to him…

“What do you recommend?” you tell him and he asks for that, you smile and he feels… really amused.

When you hand him his order, you notice he’s uncomfortable, as if he wants to say something. “Can I get you anything else, sir?”

“Yes, I… I need to take a picture, but my photos keep getting blurred, can you take it for me?” Jesus Christ, you want to hug this man! Control yourself, MC!

“Of course” he hands you his phone and you take a picture of him holding his order, hoping he doesn’t notice your little note.

And he doesn’t, as he thanks you and walks away leaving a veeery generous tip to you, you’re not sure if he’s paying that much because of your extra service or because he has no idea how much he should pay.

He notices the note when he’s in his car: “I hope you’ll let me take a lot more pictures of you, maybe of us? ~MC” he chuckles and suddenly feels really hot.

“Driver Kim, make sure to stop by this shop every morning from now on.”

Saeyoung

He knows where you work, and he really wanted to see you. He was worried after the hacker attacked the chat room.

He doesn’t share selfies of him in the chat room, so he should be fine.

As soon as he walks in, his phone rings. Shit, it’s Vanderwood! Did them already notice he went out of his house?

You listen to this voice and turn your head to see this cute red haired guy with colorful glasses. Oh my… could It be…? Yes, that’s definitely his voice!

“Hi! Do you have Dr. Pepper here?” yep, it’s definitely him, and he’s definitely teasing you. Oh well, let the games begin!

“We do not, sorry. But we have this new latte with honey. Do you like honey?” As in Honey Budha Chips? Sure… wait!

He’s staring at you. Do you…? No, how could you know? He’s pretty sure he never sent any photo of him in the chat room.

He’s feeling a little embarrassed at the way you look at him, oh shit! This was a bad idea, wasn’t it? Yeah, he shouldn’t feel like this when you look at him.

“Can I get a name for the order?” “Uhm… Tom.” “What a cool friendly name!” you tell him and smile innocently. “Here you go, Tom!” Oh… maybe you don’t know it’s him after all.

Well, that was close… and he thought he would feel better and able to focus if he saw you like that? Well, bad bad mistake, 707…

At least you didn’t know it was him, and… wait… “I know you’re worried, but I’m fine, as you saw for yourself. Now go back to defend justice, God Seven! ~606”

He should feel worried that you actually recognized him, but right now… all he can do is smile.

Saeran

He knows where you work, he just wanted to make sure his target is behaving and not doing anything stupid that could ruin his plans

Oh, and they serve sorbet here, cool!

You spot this weird guy with this grumpy expression… where do you know him from? Think, MC, think!

Ugh… it’s so frustrating seeing such a familiar face and not being able to tell why.

“Cool tattoo.” You tell him as you make his order. He just nods. That tattoo… you saw it before!

He notices you keep staring curiously at him. What could you possibly be thinking?

Oh, the tattoo! This eye… yes! It was in that weird email Jaehee was talking about in the chat room. Mint Eye or… something like this…

Shit! He knew sending that picture when he was trying to convince you he was not a creepy was a bad idea. But he thought he was so well disguised… or maybe he underestimated you…

Call it intuition, 6th sense, whatever… you just knew! This guy was Unknown!

You weren’t afraid, he wouldn’t do anything with all these people around, and he should know you aren’t scared of him.

So you calmly hand his order and tell him to have a nice day. Okay… that was just a weird vibe, you probably didn’t suspect a thing.

Then he saw the note as he got into his car. “Why did you never text me back? Are you afraid? You should be… ~MC”

He couldn’t tell what he was feeling. It should be anger, but for some reason, he wasn’t angry, he was amused… You were very cute thinking you could threat him like that.

He grins, yes, he is definitely making you pay for defying him like this when he takes you to paradise.

V

He stopped by this cozy coffee shop before going to the airport.

Seven told him where you worked, but he genuinely didn’t remember. Yes, so much was going on, and he was so worried for you staying in that apartment, your job was just a detail he completely forgot.

Of course you noticed this really handsome customer with blue hair. How could you not notice?

But he looked familiar… this blue hair… so unique and beautiful… where have you seen it before?

V? Well, you couldn’t see much from his profile pic, but yes… it looked like this guy standing in front of you, waiting for you to take his order…

He smiles softly as you apologize for spacing out. He even asks if you’re feeling well… yes, it’s him! You’re pretty sure!

“Cool camera! Is that a Nikon D5300?” you’ve been studying to exchange emails with his friend Rui, you really want him at the party since he’s V’s friend. “Yes, it is! Do you like photography?”

“ I do!” “Well, I just take pictures as a hobby.” Modest son of a bitch… “If you’re interested, you should check Rui’s work, he’s really good.”

“I hear that V guy is pretty good too. Have you heard about him?” Wow, you were cute… he couldn’t hold back his arousal from you saying you liked his work.

“I’m pretty sure he would like to take pictures of you, you would be a perfect model!” you blush, oh shit! You thought you were in the control here? Bless your soul…

You hand his order and watch him walk away, almost regretting for your silly note.

That he only sees when he’s about to catch the plane: “You shouldn’t be so modest, I bet you can make even me look good in a photo. ~MC”

He laughs softly, yes, he’s been so worried he almost forgot how sweet the new RFA member is.

Now he can’t wait for the party, maybe everything will be solved until then and he’ll be able to talk to you… and take lots of photos of you.

[thirstyfortesfaye-blog]

Stargirl Ch. 1

“Baby if you let me I won’t hesitate…”

Melanie

“Mel?...Melanie?”

I was brought back to reality by the sound of his voice. It always sounded so welcoming to me. His voice when he sings..it makes my heartache. In a good way though. He stood in the doorway and I realized I was gawking. I quickly snapped out of his trance.

“Hey Abel, sorry…I’m just a little tired. I didn’t get very much sleep last night,” I said so innocently.

He smiled back at me before smugly saying “Neither did I…but it was worth it.”

I melted a little bit…ugh get a hold of yourself Mel. That wasn’t even cute! We walked into the penthouse and he welcomed me to sit on the couch. I took a seat, a little surprised we weren’t talking in the studio. This was a business meeting of sorts. I was really nervous about this whole meeting to begin with so it helps that we’re keeping it casual.

“So what did you want to talk about Abul?” I giggled.

I called Abel that after hearing one fan call him that….and I would never him outlive that nickname. I was the only person who called him it on a regular basis.

“Mel, come on we’re talking about business right now,” he said disappointedly.

“Just trying to lighten the mood up boss…”

He smiled and came over to sit next to me on the couch. I thought it was odd for him to invite me over to his place.

“Well you read the email Cash sent you a few days ago right?” he asked.

“Yes and I have to be honest Abel…I’m not the type of girl to just drop everything at the drop of a dime. I’d only be on tour with you for a few months and then what? I’m more than honored to share the stage with you, but I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“You don’t think you’re ready or you’re too scared?” he challenged.

“Both! I’m being honest Abel. I get by being a dance teacher here, ya know? I love it! I really do,” I replied.

“Mel I’ve known you a little over two years now and when I first met you…you were unhappy with not following your dream of being a singer. You fell back on the teaching job because it was the only other thing you knew how to do. I know you loved dancing…. but you have a hell of a voice. I really mean that or else I wouldn’t have pitched you being an opening act for me. You’re hard-working and talented as well. Now, you don’t have to accept my offer…. but I don’t want you to look back at this moment a year from now and have regrets. You get me?”

I couldn’t keep myself from smiling like an idiot at the sound of his praise. His voice was comforting…but I really don’t know about this.

“When do I have to make a decision by?” I asked.

“You have two more days,” he said with a smile. I loved his smile. He rarely ever smiled in pictures that were taken of him…but he has started to change that habit. When I first met him, he would never smile in his pictures. That was back in 2014. I have to be honest and say that he has changed very little since then. The Abel that put out Kissland and the Trilogy mixtapes is very much alive and well.

‘l’ll give you my final answer in two days then…I think I should sleep on it.”

He nodded and stood up from the couch. I guess he was going to show me out.

“Do you have some where you need to be right now?” he asked.

“Umm, no. I was just going to go home and take a nap,” I answered honestly.

He inched closer to me and pushed my hair out of my face. I have super curly hair and sometimes it just wasn’t manageable. 90% of my life…my hair has covered my face.

“Come smoke with me?” he asked teasingly.

That was basically code for “want to fuck?”

“You only want to smoke? That’s no fun…” I joked.

He chuckled at my reply and I got up to follow him to his balcony. He had nice patio set up and I had really grown fond of the view. His new apartment in Toronto was really nice. He wanted to move somewhere a little more secluded and with more security. His old place was always infested with paparazzi and crazy ass fans.

He already had a blunt handy with him before we walked outside. It was a little bit chilly outside, but it wasn’t unbearable. We always smoked before we had sex. We never really talked about it much ourselves though. We had been messing around for 6 months now and I don’t think either of us could admit to each other the feelings that were there. Well, I couldn’t admit it. I honestly don’t know how he feels about me.

This whole situation is so fucking frustrating. You’re not supposed to just be a fuck buddy to someone you’ve adored for so long.

One moment we would go from casual conversation while smoking a blunt, and 20 minutes later we would be fucking in his bed room. It wasn’t average sex either. He was so fucking sexy in bed…and then once we were done, it was like I was just another side hoe. He wouldn’t say anything to me and we would get dressed silently and that was it until one of us would break the silence with that “Wyd” or “Are you alone?” text about a week or two later.

It was routine now if anything…but not the sex itself was anything but routine. That made it all worth it. But I just can’t say that he knows my worth. I need to take my own advice when it comes to my own love life. That is if it even existed.

____________________________________________________________________

We sat on his balcony and smoked for about ten minutes before finishing the blunt. I tried to get the most out of that last hit and I felt the head high kick in. I always preferred sativa. It kept me focused and usually helped me feel a little more confident. I always got nervous before I had sex with him. I was used to one night stands. I have been single for a few years now and a girl’s gotta get it in sometimes. But one night stands were way easier for me than having sex with Abel. He was the most intimidating man I knew.

“Have you been working on anything new?” he asked.

He was talking about my music. I never really got public with my music. I never got bad feedback from my vocal coaches but there was always someone that was better than me. Plus, no one really cares about good music these days. You have to have a great body, good fashion sense and all that bullshit. I was an awkward and shy person. There was no denying the facts.

“I have…well lyrics anyways. I haven’t gotten together with Alex because she’s been on vacation. She’s my foundation when it comes to producing music.”

I knew how to play the piano and the guitar so I would sometimes come up with ideas.

“You gotta let me come to the studio and here some of it,” he said with a smile.

I grinned from ear to ear and got up to go straddle him and before I kissed him I whispered, “There’s a famous singer that once said, ‘Don’t chu worry bout my voice, I won’t need it for what I’m about to do to ya…”

I loved kissing him. I remember how I used to day dream about a chance to kiss him. The first time I did, it was completely worth it. Every time felt like the first time. His hands crept up my thighs to grab my ass. I loved it when he did that.

“Let’s go inside,” he whispered to me.

I had to almost pull myself off of him because I really would’ve been down to fuck him right there in his chair.

We raced up the stairs to his room and his lips were back on mine as soon as he locked the door behind him. His hands were in my hair…my hands pulled him closer to me. His hands reached the bottom of my shirt and he pulled it off for me. I unclasped my bra and let it fall to the floor while he took his shirt off. I usually gave head first so I crept my hands to his belt and started to unbuckle it. I got on my knees as I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down his zipper. He pulled down his jeans and boxers so I was face to face with his manhood, already slightly hard.

I honestly think one of the reason he likes sleeping with me is because of the fact I gave good blow jobs. That’s a conceited thing say you might ask. I think I have the right to when on too many occasions I would have guys cum in my mouth before we even get to the good stuff…It’s nothing something I’m extremely proud of, but I have a motto: Give good head, Get good head. It doesn’t always work out like that but for Abel and I…it usually works out like that. He usually likes it when I suck him off fast and steady, but today I went slow and teased him a little bit….and he was living for it. He held my hair wrapped around his fist and cursed under his breath.

“Fucking Mel….go lay down,” he said.

I gladly laid down on his king sized bed as he pulled off my leggings and panties together. I couldn’t keep a smile off my face…knowing what was coming next. He pulled my legs open slowly and rubbed his thumb over my clit. I bit on my lip and moaned softly. I could feel his eyes on me. He loved getting a reaction out of me. He finally laid down to eat me out and he didn’t hold back.

“Holy Shit…”

Don’t think anyone can make me make a sound when they eat me out, except Abel. I bet he’d be proud of himself for that. He was talented with his tongue. He really started to hit my clit a lot and he gripped my thighs tighter as I started to squirm.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck….” I whimpered.

Just as I was close to coming, he stopped and in a split second he was on top of me…AND inside me. It took me by surprise. We hadn’t had sex in a week so I was a little tight, but in a good way. I could feel him stretching me out and it felt so great. He stopped for a second and leaned down to kiss me. It was that kind of slow, nasty-tongue kissing and it was making me feel some kind of way. When I finally pulled my lips off of his, he thrusted himself into me…. hard. I moaned in response and then he put my legs on his shoulders before he proceeded to fuck me harder.

I couldn’t stop moaning at this point and I felt closer to an orgasm. I was so close….but then he pulled out and came on my stomach. God Dammit. I was so close. I was still catching my breath while he started getting his clothes on.

“Can I get a towel or something?” I asked.

“Oh shit, yea, sorry,” he chuckled as he ran to the restroom to get me a tissue.

“Thanks, I didn’t want to just be chilling here on your bed like a toaster strudel all night,” I joked.

He got a good laugh out of that one.

I struggled to get my shit together and get dressed while he was on his phone texting who knows who. When I was finally ready to go, he walked me down to show me out.

“Don’t forget you have two days…I hope you make the right choice,” he hinted.

“I’ll make the right choice for me,” I corrected.

He smiled and replied, “I hope so.”

____________________________________________________________________________

My drive home wasn’t a peaceful one. My mind was at war again with my anxiety raging with “what if’s” and “you’re not good enough’s.” As if that wasn’t enough, my doubt was put into the mix once I started thinking about Abel.

I couldn’t get rid of the feel of butterflies…but I have no regrets over him. I wish I could relive that first time all the time. I couldn’t breathe leading up to it and my heart could’ve leapt out of my chest. Finally getting a chance with the guy you’ve adored for 2 years is pretty fucking worth it.  

The sad reality of it though is that It shouldn’t have happened. The first time and the many other nights to follow. I didn’t think it could’ve ever happened. It never occurred to me that Abel saw me in that way. He was always so nice to me, but he was kind to everyone he met though. That’s what I loved about him, but he is not meant for me. He is not right for me, either. How could something that’s so wrong feel so right?

I am not right for letting this go on for so long, after all…I know she doesn’t know.

No… she doesn’t have a clue.

If she knew…what would become of them? Abel Tesfaye and Bella Hadid have gone their separate ways? It would definitely make headlines. What would become of us? There’s just too much that could go wrong…

I could go on and on.

I wish we could have done this at a better time. Maybe we just need some space. I wish I met him in a different universe, so we could do it right. Do right by me, do right by her and right our wrongs. Take punishment for our sins.

I pulled into the driveway and saw my roommate had taken the one parking spot that we usually have to fight for since my other two roommates in the room next to us shared the garage. So I ended up parking across the street. I walked into my living room with a bunch of nursing students studying together, and proceeded to the kitchen. I really needed a drink or two. I needed to get out of my feelings.

I don’t know quite when it happened.  Why I fell for him. There was nothing that could benefit from it and I knew that from the start. Every girl wanted a chance with him. He was a lady’s man, without a doubt. It’s not my M.O. to fall in love, but fucking around with Abel was a risky thing to do. I’ve never felt this feeling so fast…

I decided to go with a bottle of beer and I retreated to my bedroom. My roommate was hogging the bathroom as always so I had the room to myself for a second to try to recompose myself. I’ve always struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 18. After I graduated high school, things just started going south for me. Living at home with my crazy, unstable family made things harder for me. So I moved out to the city and I visit them every once in a while. I loved them but they expected too much from me.

Everyone had high expectations of me.

It was overwhelming to say the least. There are some days I can barely sustain it and I just have to go hide somewhere and ball my eyes out until I calm down. I’ve never told anyone about my anxiety or depression. Ever. I know it isn’t true, but it just made me feel weak. I didn’t want anyone thinking that I was incapable of reaching my goals because of my mental health.

I changed into some comfy clothes and waited for my roommate to finish using the restroom. I needed to take a hot shower and go to bed. I drank my beer while I waited…

I really didn’t know what to do about going on tour with Abel. I really did like being a dance teacher. Dancing was my second passion. I was really good until I tore my ACL three years ago. I was all better now but I had to be careful with that knee, obviously. I knew Abel was right though. If I didn’t take this chance now….I wouldn’t get another opportunity ever again.

My roommate finally finished using the bathroom and I rushed in to get the shower going.

Plus…maybe I can finally figure out if Abel has feeling for me. We’d probably hookup a lot if we toured together. That made me feel a bit better.

What if he brought Bella with him on tour though? My mood dropped again as I undressed and got in the shower. The hot water hitting my head calmed me down instantly. I should just forget about him.

Why after all these nights, I’d still give you all my days?

 Abel

It was getting close to midnight and the party was just getting started. Everyone in the penthouse was higher than the moon…or maybe it was just me. We were celebrating the release of the new album because the blessings were overflowing. I felt nothing but blessed at the amount of love that my team and I were receiving for this project.

My reign was only going to expand farther at this point…

I just had to fucking kill it on tour now…which is why I’ve got to get Melanie on board with this. She was slept on since day one. I always thought she had a strong, passionate voice and she always leaves a trance on you with her performances. And she could dance…I loved watched her dance.

I would have invited her tonight if it wasn’t for Bella.

The boys definitely enjoy Mel’s company over Bella’s. There was nothing wrong with Bella nor did they not get along, but Mel made more of an effort to become friends with them. That made all the difference. Bella hardly ever acknowledges them most days.

“Hey babe.”

I was greeted with a kiss on the cheek and Bella’s arms snaked around my neck. I didn’t even see her come in the front door…

“Hey Bella, how was your flight?” I asked.

“It wasn’t too bad…I didn’t get very much sleep though, so I think I’m actually going to head home for tonight. I’ll come by and see you tomorrow morning, okay?” she replied.

“Sounds good, babe,” I assured.

Bella could be a downer sometimes when she comes back from fashion shows. She’s usually sleep deprived, jet-lagged, or just not in the mood to go out when she’s not working. It’s not that I don’t believe her but I have the same problems. Then again, I know Bella doesn’t like the idea of taking Adderall.

I kissed her softly on the lips and she disappeared as quickly as she arrived.

I took a seat over on the couch by Lamar and he smirked in my direction.

“Did you do something to piss off your lady already?” he joked.

“Nah man, she’s just tired…. just got back from Paris,” I explained.

“Gotcha…” he replied.

I continued to sip the Henny in my cup while I nodded. I finished what was now my fifth alcoholic beverage of the night and decided to give it a rest. I had to be up early tomorrow and I knew I would regret over doing it.

“You should invite Mel over bro,” suggested Lamar.

“I would’ve if I knew Bella was just going to make a brief appearance…” I mumbled.

“How did your meeting with her go today? Or did you guys just end up fucking each other?” he interrogated.

“Who said we couldn’t do both,” I chuckled.

He laughed with me and one of the boys passed a blunt in my direction. I took a few hits and passed it to Lamar. I couldn’t help thinking about Mel…she was great, but I love Bella. I really do. I just unfortunately have a bad habit of straying away every once in a while. I got bored having sex with Bella. That’s the honest truth. I don’t even like having sex with her to begin with. I know it’s selfish of me to say that but it was just average sex.

Now having sex with Melanie is a fucking trip. Every single time. I haven’t felt so impressed by the girl’s head game in years. Mel was just a friend to me for the longest time, but it didn’t take me too long to realize how hot she is.

She played hard to get too.

I would’ve fucked her sooner if she wasn’t so stubborn. I learned the hard way that she just loves to lay. She’s probably a bigger player than me. We both used to exchange stories of embarrassing hook-ups or great hook-ups that we have had with other people all the time. I guess we just try to convince each other over and over again that there’s nothing between us.

I know there is.

It just can’t happen now. Not when I’m with Bella.

[teslaboltzmann]

so I went to see the doctor yesterday.

You gotta understand something about Dr. Tellin. He's not a human GP, he's a cyberneticist from Twilight Holdings. Most of his patients are augmented humans, he says he's seen fewer than 10 Pillars as patients in the past year. He himself is human. So when I went in to talk about data transfer, I thought he was going to give me the whole "always use virus protection, only transfer from partners you trust, never share private keys" spiel. It's like the sex talk, I guess.

When I asked him, though, he hummed and hawed a bit.

"Well, I don't actually think you have the drivers for that. You can receive files but I don't think you could manipulate or voluntarily send them. It's a bit of a quirk of your architecture," he replied.

"What do you mean?"

"You're primarily a neural net. Contact with conventional filesystems... well, it would be pretty prone to error. You'd need an interface to bridge the gap."

Despite the fact that this meant I could tell my boss that I had to keep using the GUI and avoid the vulnerability of being forced to make transfers at work, Dr. Tellin's words carried the somber tone of someone informing you of a crippling disability. It worried me a lot, like it meant I was defective or something.

"Could you do anything to fix that?" I asked.

"I mean, I could look into writing you some custom drivers, but I'm not sure how well they would mesh with your existing architecture. Machine learning is outside my area of expertise. ...I have a colleague who might be able to help, but she doesn't normally see patients. She works with AIs."

...

I decided to see the "specialist." He told me that her name was Dr. Sarah Liu, but to just call her Sarah. The contact info Dr. Tellin gave me only included a phone and an email, no holochat. Either she was very old-fashioned, or very paranoid. I decided to call her on the phone instead of emailing since I could have more of a conversation about my issue.

She picked up after two rings. "Hello?"

"Hello, my name is Tesla, I'm a patient of Dr. Tellin's?" I said. "I'm an Amalgam, and I was calling about--"

"Wait... Amalgam?" she cut me off. "Oh, you must be Fred Tellin's patient!" she said excitedly.

"Oh, he told you already?" I asked. It was unlike Dr. Tellin to do something like that, but if the two were close associates, I guess it could happen.

"Uhh. No, I mean, I... Not as such. Anyway, why were you calling?"

"Well, I'm having issues with file transfer. Specifically, I probably need drivers installed, and Dr. Tellin said you're probably better suited to dealing with that for me." I explained. At this point, I was a little weirded out, but specialists for these kinds of things are hard to find. It took me months just to get a referral to Dr. Tellin.

"Oh! Yeah, I could probably help with that. What's your architecture like? Object-oriented? Functional?"

"Uhh, I'm a neural net..." I'm not actually sure. Dr. Tellin never mentioned much beyond that.

"I know that, I was asking about your programming... Nevermind, I can figure that out when you get here. Knowing the Rift I bet you're something weird. When are you free to come by?"

"I mean, I have the rest of today off," I mentioned.

"Perfect! Come by in an hour or two. I'll send you coordinates. See you then."

No sooner had she hung up than I got a text with her location. She was about 20 minutes away, so I surfed the internet on my phone for a while before finding transport over there.

When the cab got to the location I programmed into it, I panicked for a second. It looked like a private dwelling, not the office building I had expected. Maybe I got the coordinates wrong? But when I checked, they were the same ones Sarah had sent me.

I saw the front door to the smell, ranch-style house swing open.

"Hey!" a woman in a ponytail called out to me as she stepped out of the door. "You must be Tesla."

"Yeah," I answered.

She came down the steps to properly greet me. She kept pausing to admire my body - looking at my fingers as we shook hands, squinting to see her reflection in my faceplate - but never said anything about it. "Come in, I'll get everything set up."

Her house was sort of old-fashioned inside even though she only seemed to be in her 30s. There was almost no post-Watershed technology inside at all except the computer systems. But boy, did those computers make up for it. She had an entire room dedicated just to this big mainframe. Racks and racks of servers everywhere, with tons of cables, and I could see the faint glow of nanites in the air. Must have cost a fortune, and I had no idea what she had to have been running on those. Probably hosting her own site? Or maybe mining cryptocurrency? There's no chits in that, though, no one legit accepts it anymore. A mystery.

Sarah directed me to a chair on one end of the room. It sat next to a user terminal, and a squid-like array of data cables splayed out on the desk next to it. They came with all different ends, male and female, some of which I didn't recognize.

"Find one that fits," she told me, indicating the cables. "Don't force it. If we need to, we can splice in."

Luckily for me, one of my ports is a standard USB. I plugged the corresponding cable into the port on my chest. It didn't feel like it was turned on yet, though.

Sarah reminds me a lot of someone I used to know, but older, and more measured.

As she activated the connection, I felt it immediately. It’s like someone else being in your head, almost. Mostly it was just poking and prodding, not changing anything. I could feel my thoughts triggering sort of semi-voluntarily as it probed my memories, but I couldn’t really make heads nor tails of the presence in my head. One minute it was one place, the next it was somewhere else, moving almost like a living thing, but very carefully. Like I said, it feels really vulnerable to have an open connection like that.

“Yeah, just as I thought. It seems like you’ve got some functional-based stuff in there. Looks like lazy evaluation too,” Sarah said, examining the output on the terminal. “Memory circuits aren’t triggering until they’re forced to. Lemme copy out some memories and try to decompile the nodes into Haskell or something. I’m gonna pick something random because I don’t know what’s what, hopefully it’s nothing embarrassing or traumatic. You’re going to re-live an episodic memory as the files are copied.”

“Okay,” I answered.

...

I was lying in the hospital bed. My skin hurt. Skin. I had skin then. I opened my eyes, which felt gritty and goopy, and bright fluorescent light forced me to close them again. It hurt. Everything hurt. There were bandages all over me. I couldn’t think straight, there was a pervasive fog in my head. Morphine, maybe?

“Are you awake?” asked a high-pitched voice. “Mr. Wright, can you hear me?” The voice was so far away. I tried to speak, but only a scratchy gurgle came out. I coughed. My ribs hurt so much. I shouldn’t have done that.

“It’s okay, Mr. Wright, don’t try to speak.” I felt warmth. The person speaking was gripping my hand. The feeling was so soothing. 

“You’ve been in an accident, Mr. Wright.”

I started to slip back into unconsciousness.

...

“Tesla, are you okay?” Sarah asked. “You made this sort of coughing sound, it was startling. Is the memory over?” She was looking at me with raised eyebrows. Did she see what I saw through the terminal...? No, of course not.

“Yes, pardon me. That was a memory I thought I had forgotten,” I answered a little shakily. 

“Really? That’s odd, usually I end up with higher-priority memories because the software goes for the ones that seem strongest and most cohesive. Graduations, weddings, things like that,” Sarah said, puzzled.

“Oh, I guess I’m just an outlier then.” Really, it wasn’t a memory I had forgotten at all, just one I wish I had.

“What was it of, if it’s not too personal?” she asked.

“Just a hospital stay I had once,” I replied.

“Interesting,” she mused. “Well, that’s gonna decompile for a few minutes, and I’m gonna get myself some tea. Do you... want anything?” she asked, staring with some uncertainty at my mouthless faceplate.

I was a little low on coolant at that point. Normally I don’t eat or drink in front of people I don’t know well, but Sarah... seemed like a good exception.

“Just some water, with a straw if you have them,” I answered.

“I don’t normally keep straws around the house, but I’ll see what I can find,” she said.

With that, she left me alone in the computer room. I could hear her moving around in the kitchen, getting out a kettle and her tea. No pre-made, just the old-fashioned kind. I never got why some people don’t like convenience.

After a couple of minutes, she came back in holding her own mug of tea and a glass of water with a swirly pink loopy straw poking out the top.

“My son used to love these when he was a kid,” she commented. “I don’t have any other straws, so I hope it’s okay.”

I chuckled. “Thank you, it’s fine.” I lifted the front of my faceplate just enough to snake the straw up to my coolant intake. I really need to install a hatch or something on there.

Sarah sat back down at her terminal and read the data output.

“Alright, all of this seems pretty normal. I’m gonna cobble together some basic filesystem drivers and try to integrate them so you can properly store and manipulate files. What kinds of specific applications do you plan on using a lot?”

“I work in marketing and do a lot of graphic design stuff,” I answered.

“Really? An Amalgam working in graphic design? Now I’ve seen everything,” she laughed. 

I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react, so I just nodded. 

“Anyway, that means I’m going to have to do some extensive work with your visual system. I’d have to run more tests on your architecture for that, but I sort of have stuff to do later today... could you come by again in a few days?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure. Any time, really, my work schedule is pretty flexible.”

I had finished the water by this point, and I closed up my faceplate.

“Let me get that for you,” Sarah said, taking it from me. She took the water glass from me and put it in the sink in the kitchen, and then came back into the room and leaned up against the door frame.

“I’ll call you when the filesystem drivers are ready, and we can run the tests and install the program in the same visit,” she said. “Sound good?”

“Alright,” I answered. “See you then.”

She showed me to the door, and that was that.

[wastedwishesandhope]

la douleur exquise

He stares at the moon hung open on the wide galaxy that’s staring back at him. Few stars paste on the sky like glitters and the cold breeze calmly dancing in the atmosphere together with the leaves left on the trunk of the tree. Park Jimin was lying down on the wooden deck on their apartment’s terrace. With his arms at the back of his head and his knee crossed on his leg.

They got the rest that they’ve been asking for after the tiring concert they held yesterday. The management let them do whatever they wanted to do for their free schedules. Some of the boys went outside to prepare for their late after party event that Kim Seokjin planned and will be held right inside their apartment loft. Yoongi and Hoseok were assigned to get the ingredients they needed whilst Jungkook and the leader Namjoon were given the task to prepare the designs to decorate the whole living room. Taehyung was currently helping the eldest to wash the plates they’re going to use. While Jimin was given the liberty to do what he wants to do. The members assumed that he’s hiding something against them. Even Yoongi thought there might be a secret relationship he’s hiding from them after the performance he made and the mere fact that he doesn’t want to talk to anybody else and much rather prefer to stay outcast.

Jimin knows the members' assumption but he doesn’t care to these kids anyway.

“Hey! Aren’t you going to help us inside?”

He turned his head to see Kim Taehyung walking towards his spot. He just returned back his eyes at the night sky.

“I’m too lazy to get up,” he answered.

“You’re always lazy, I guess you already beat up the top- rank laziness of Yoongi- hyung. At least, even he complains a lot, he still helps us with his grumpy face. That’s what matters though,”

 Jimin eyed him and that send shivers down his spine.

 “I’m too fab to get compared with your Yoongi- hyung,” he sass back. The defeated guy just snorts to laugh. Kim Taehyung took a seat next to Park Jimin.

“What are you thinking? You seem spacing out again,” he asked which Jimin shrugs off. “You’re the talk of the town after you perform Spring Day alone. A lot of fans get swooned and almost half of the fandom switches their biases after that. I guess, the message wasn’t targeted only for her but to our million fans all around the globe,”

 Jimin took a deep breath then said, “Well, when the whole fandom gets swept off their feet, I hope she got the message I was trying to tell.”

Kim Taehyung shoulders just lifted and fell in a tired shrug. “I think she does. I can feel it.”

Jimin gets up from the wooden deck to sit up and he supports his upper body on his two hands leaning against the deck at his back.

 “Something’s bugging me for days now,” he started. Taehyung strangely looked at him.

“What do you mean?” he asked curiously and scooted closer to him to listen keenly.

“I’ve met someone who fairly knows about me and Anna,” he answered quietly.

His friend mouth hangs open in bafflement and shock. “You mean someone aside from me and my mom and… you?”

 Jimin nods.

 “How’d they find out?”

“That’s what I wanted to know. He talks like he knows shit about our relationship. But what confused me more is how he seems to manage to hide what’s going on inside his thoughts and was able to control the things that he only wants me to know.”

 Taehyung stare at the open space between them. “If he manages to do that, it only meant that he knows who you are. I mean, not being Park Jimin of BTS but the Park Jimin of… a hundred years. If you know what I mean.” The last words came out in a whisper.

Taehyung made a point there.

“But did he say anything other than you and Anna? What’s his intention? He wouldn’t have risked talking to you if he doesn’t have any plans on getting something out of you? I bet he’s not just trying to get a rise of you.”

“Other than telling his name to me— “

“What’s his name?”

“Lee Gikwang.”

 “Anything else?”

 “He didn’t say anything much. I don’t know but he’s pretty close to Anna and I don’t like it,” Jimin answered.

Taehyung scoffed. “Maybe he likes Anna? And God forbid maybe he’s this kind of man who’s obsessed with their woman’s past and was trying to do background check with their ex’s.”

“But Taehyung, how would he know about me and Anna when I already made her forget everything? I wouldn’t think she had told someone about our relationship prior to erasing her memories. She managed to keep our relationship hidden to her own best friend, so do you think she’d go babbling to someone whom she can’t trust?”

 “How sure are you that she’s a hundred percent can’t remember anything about you? How sure are you that as time goes on, she would have never got her memories back? How sure you are that only brains are the only thing that can solely keep memories? . . . not the heart, Park Jimin?

 The porch door suddenly slides open and they both whipped their heads to see who it was.

 “Eomma?” Kim Taehyung utters.

 Jimin was surprised to see Yeosin in their apartment without giving them heads up that she’s gonna be visiting them.

“Jimin, a word.”

 Kim Taehyung just blinked a couple of times then stole a glance at Park Jimin who knows where the word is what for.

  —   —   —

  It was fairly late when Gikwang pulled over his car on the side of the road and he draws an exhausted breath through his mouth. It was a long day after all yet he still needs to meet this man he had been contacting with since he started his own investigation.

The passenger seat door open and a man wearing a black shirt, a cap and jeans get in to sit next to him. Gikwang just waited till the man spoke first. He bowed first to express his respect and to show who has more authorization between them.

He handed a silver flash drive to Gikwang and the gentleman just took it off from his hands.

“I’ve also made copies and sent it to your email in case you lost that,” he said.

Gikwang nods and keep the flash drive in the left pocket inside of his coat. “What did you tell them when you’re asking for the copy of these videos?” he asked.

The man clears his throat first then answered, “I just told them the inspectors were asking for the investigation.”

“Did you show them the ID that I provided you?” Gikwang asked.

“Yep, they asked me for identification,” the man said.

He rubbed his chin like he was thinking of something else. “Dispose that. I’ll send your new identification card,” he said then the man just acknowledged his demand.

 Lee Gikwang rested his chin on his hand as he peered across the street and watched the silent cars moving on the road. His eyes then landed on the lone girl standing at the pedestrian with her earphones stuck neither both of her ears. He watched her hairs gracefully danced at her back and her fragile body stood stiffly.

 “Last sort to catch him,” Gikwang whispered. The man turned his eyes on the girl Gikwang was staring at.

 “What’s your plan, boss?” he asked.

 “Let’s do things slowly. He might not the one who would fell on our hands. If we move recklessly, it might be me who would fell in her grasp. And I’m avoiding that,”

 The man turned his head to look back at Gikwang. “What do you mean, sir?”

 Lee Gikwang scoffs. “That girl is incredibly dangerous in her own ways...” he utters.

 The man strangely went silent and returns his gaze back at the girl who seems so clueless about the story that’s happening around her.

  —    —   —

  Yeosin and Park Jimin were left alone outside the terrace when Mrs. Kim told Taehyung to give them a minute to talk first. The son was so clueless with what’s going on, he just thinks that it might be something to do with what he did to Anna. He left when he felt it would be a mother and son alike argument.

Park Jimin stood from the wooden deck but Mrs. Kim immediately shouted him to go back to his seat. He was way much older than her but now it seems like he’ll be getting a punishment from his mom. Yeosin stood with aggravation with her hands both settled on the side of her hips.

 Park Jimin scoffs while waiting for her to talk. “You’re somehow scaring me now. It’s insane—“

 “Please shut up once. Give me a second to compose my thoughts first,” Yeosin cuts him off which made him surprise. He suddenly sees the Yeosin he met two decades ago. He shut his mouth off and waited. “I believe I don’t have to spill these thoughts that I have right now. Yeah?”

 Jimin shrugs off. He wants to get inside her thought but he decides to not to.

 “It’s better if you’ll explain. I prefer to think you’re here because you love surprises,” Jimin answered.

 Mrs. Kim took a long deep breath to calm her nerves and when she could control now her anger, she opened her mouth but to just close it again.

 “You’re stressing me out just the way you breathe, Yeosin,” Jimin annoyingly said.

 Mrs. Kim fold her arms against her chest. “What did you just do to Anna, Park Jimin?”

 The man went silent.

 “I’ve met her outside the venue yesterday and to my surprise, she doesn’t remember me. Taehyung told me that she’s under this amnesia thingy which of course I don’t believe because I’m no stupid enough to think that this has nothing to do with you. I believe this is all your doings. Now, care to explain your side?”

 Jimin’s head was down like he don’t know how he’ll going to explain to his mom that he’s failing in his subject at school. Wish everything was just as easy as that.

 “Jimin, you know that what you did is insanely wrong!”

 He finally stood up. “I hate myself for doing that and I don’t either like what I have done but I don’t have any options, Yeosin!”

 “You always have an option, you just choose what you believe is the easiest way to solve the problem!” she yells.

 Jimin annoyingly brushes his hair up with his fingers.

 “Jimin, you know where I am coming from,” Yeosin lower down her voice. He said nothing and just keep his eyes elsewhere.

 “Why did you do that?” she asked again.

 He mindlessly sat back on the wooden deck whilst Mrs. Kim left standing still.

 “It’s because I don’t have any option. Maybe at some point, I do always have another option but I was just too worried how to make her pain stop,” he answered. Yeosin just listens. “The only thought I have before I compel her and made her forget everything that’s connected with me was that I don’t wanna see her cry again. Seeing her crying feels like the end of my world. It is an unthinkable feeling of getting numb and feeling everything at the same time. I can’t even fathom the ugly truth that it was me who made that tears in her eyes. That I am the reason for all her pains. Yeosin, I was too desperate to remove the numbing pain she’d been battling all her life. Can you blame me?”

 Mrs. Kim stares at him with pity in her eyes. “But Jimin, pain is part of being a human...”

 He was stopped.

 She continued. “I understand your point but nobody has the rights to change or to remove someone’s memories because whether it’s bad or good memories, it still one of the reasons of who she is right now. We’re not human if we don’t get hurt, and what you’ve done is something that’s implausible and unacceptable because you've practically meddled into someone’s life. No one has the authorization to do that unless it’s your own life and body.”

 Jimin just leaned down and rest his head on his palms like he was tired and full of remorse.

 “I understand you love her and you feel guilty because you made her cry for whatever reasons but Jimin. . . you’re no God to spearheaded someone’s decision and life. That’s invading.”

 He heaved a deep sigh and opened his mouth to talk but still kept his head down. “She hates me and I know she wants to forget me. I just made it easier for her.”

 “How would you know that she wanted to forget all the memories she had with you? Maybe that’s what she said but it doesn’t mean that she had never treasured at least some of the good memories and experienced she get when she’s with you.”

 He didn’t say a word.

 “Did you do that because you believe that you’re her biological father?” she asked.

 “I don’t know how am I going to explain things to her,” he answered.

 “Have you prove it already that you’re biologically related? Yes, I said that maybe she’s your long- lost daughter but that doesn’t mean you were obliged to believe automatically in every word that I'm saying. At least before you conclude, you should try to investigate first.”

 He stood up from his seat. “Yeosin she has the ring that I gave to Wangbi! How can you explain that?!”

 Mrs. Kim went silent in shock.

 “I’ve seen the exact ring and even the holder inside her bedroom. That’s enough to explain that she’s… she’s… my…” his voice broke. “I don’t want to say it damn it.”

 “Then if that’s the reality, she has the right to know the truth. That kid was living the hell of lie for the whole life.”

 Jimin felt the snot and the growing lump in his throat. “I don’t care who she was really to me now. The only thing that I knew is… I fucking hate myself for making her life miserable. She don’t deserve those tears, Yeosin.”

 Mrs. Kim walked towards closely to Jimin when she felt the pain he has. He was just strong to cover them up but he’s slowly breaking down in front of her.

 “I don’t know but I’ve never done anything good in my life. I just want to love but it feels like the world is conspiring against me. Maybe... yeah... since I’m not a human, we definitely don’t have any right to love and be loved and that’s the cruelest curse of being a vampire.”

 Yeosin can’t help but give her friend a tight hug. “I’m sorry if I told you before that I would just be going to believe you’re truly hurt if I would see you crying because now, it crashes me to see you like this, Jimin.”

 She feels the pain of a mother and a friend towards Jimin. Everything was so complicated and she doesn’t know what to do either. When Jimin pulled his self off from her, he just wipes the few tears who tried to escape from his eyes. The porch door opened once again and it revealed Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok who both completely surprise. Jimin immediately turned around to hide his face from them.

 “Uhhhmm.. we didn’t know you’re here Mrs. Kim,” Hoseok said and he looked at the broad back of Park Jimin. “Is everything’s alright?” he asked. Mrs. Kim just fake a smile and nod her head to answer his question.

“Do we need to get our asses outta here and close the door again?” Yoongi said but they were both quickly moved on the side when Park Jimin suddenly walked past them to get inside the apartment loft. They heard the front door opened and closed.

 The confused boys shared a look.

 “What’s that? Did we miss the latest episode of a new drama series?” Hoseok asked and Yoongi just elbowed him to make him shut up and the pale boy smiled only to Kim Taehyung’s mother.

  —    —   —

  She stood alone. Anna was looked alone. Her pretty dress was a bit too thin for the hint of cold that was creeping into late September despite the coat she got, and she stood almost hugging herself, arms crossed between her breast, hands rubbing up and down above her elbows as though to warm chilled flesh. Her dark, raven hair was blowing in the fitful breeze that also snatched at the long skirt of her dress. She’s waiting for the traffic light to go green for the pedestrians.

The music playing on her earphones loud. She just came back from the bakery to get bread for tomorrow but it’s not her lucky day since they close earlier than they usually do.

Her eyes scanned the whole place when she suddenly felt the uncomfortable feeling that someone’s watching you move. When she sees nobody was lurking near her, she just shrugs it off and thought maybe it was just all her imagination.

After a couple of seconds, she felt that someone was really trying to catch her attention. It's an uneasy feeling you get when you really can feel that someone’s staring at you. She turned her head on the right side and she saw a man in a cap who pretty much busy with his phone. He’s wearing a face mask so she couldn’t even see its face. Anna watched him checking if he’s acting strangely but the man looked at her direction to catch her staring at him. She suddenly gets embarrassed when their eyes met so she bowed down to say sorry for looking that long at him.

 When the light goes green, Anna immediately leaves her spot and walked at the pedestrian crossing alone. The loud music in her ears was playing and it covers the sound around her, including the incoming fast truck with a sleepy driver who overlooked the red traffic light. When the driver noticed that he’ll gonna hit someone’s crossing the road, he stomped on the brake and he hit the horn to call the passerby’s attention but she can’t hear the signal.

When Anna noticed the vehicle light getting closer to her spot, she turned her head to see the truck coming on her way. She froze on her feet and her brain seems like it stopped working with shock and panic she felt. She closed her eyes waiting to feel the truck against her body but she was surprised when she felt someone’s grabbed her to the other side of the road.

 Her body went limp with the sudden rush and her heart beat beats the speed of the truck. It felt like it would come out from her ribcage. She takes off the earphones from her ears and clutches onto her chest to make herself calm. It took her a couple of seconds to realize she was still in this person’s arms. She felt her body against his tense body and when she opened her eyes, she quickly pulled herself off from his grasp.

 “Are you alright?” the man asked.

 “G- Gikwang?”

 “Next time, you should remove your earphones when you’re walking across the road! Glad I was there to grab you before you were hit by the truck! I feel like my soul came off from my body to save you! I was so scared!” he said.

 “I- I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect there’s someone who would beat the red light.”

 “Well, you know we got killers on highways. Next time be cautious to your surroundings. That might kill you, Anna!” he scolds.

 Anna felt so sorry for being careless. “I was just too preoccupied, but thank you so much for saving my life! Oh God that was so close, I thought it’s the end of my life!”

 Gikwang suddenly laugh and she looked at him confused. “I think there’s still good side of stalking someone,”

 She was surprised. “What? Were you stalking me?!”

 Gikwang laughed even more. “Nah! Just kidding! I was just happened to see you here. I meet my friend few blocks away from here and then I saw you. Been calling your name out but you got earphones stuck in your ears that’s why you didn’t hear me.” He explained.

“Oh… yeah, I thought you’re really stalking me. Stalking me is pointless in the first place. I’m a boring person!”

 His eyebrows furrowed in a funny way. “Who told you? I feel relax by just watching you, it feels like I’m watching a silent movie because you were so quiet.” Then he laughed.

She laughed too. “What? What do you expect me doing when I’m all alone? Talking to myself? That’s creepy!”

 Gikwang laughs even more. “Yeah, you’re right! That’s way more creepy!”

 They shared a laugh together.

 “Do you want me to walk you home?” he offered. Anna blushes out of nowhere and she remembers what he said the night he drives her home.

 “Sure, why not?”

 They started walking together on the quiet street of Seoul, with nobody with them apart from the stars, their shadows and the awkward silence between them.

 Lee Gikwang is the first one who broke the barrier.

 “How was the concert yesterday?” he asked then stuff his hands inside his pocket pants.

 “It was good. How’d you know I attend a concert yesterday?” she seems surprised.

 He smiled. “I’ve seen Deby’s instagram post yesterday. She took pictures with you, right?”

 Anna nods her head when she remembers that she really took selfies with her.

 “Yeah, I remember.”

 “You seem like you enjoy it so much, no?”

 “Of course, I enjoyed the concert. We enjoyed,” she answered timidly.

 “How’d you find Park Jimin’s solo performance?” he asked which made her stop.

 “What?”

 Gikwang immediately think for an explanation. “Uhh… I mean, it was all over the internet! He performed one of their songs and I was just wondering since he’s your bias right? Like supposedly the initial reaction should be getting dragged with his charms. Something like that… yeah?”

 “Well, yeah. It's enchanting, given with his voice. It seems like he’s singing for someone, I can feel it. I mean, the emotion he pours while singing the song.”

 Gikwang waited for any sudden changes of expression in her face.

 “W-who do you think he’s singing for?” he asked. Trying to put her on edge.

 Anna just shrugs off. “I don’t know? Maybe a friend he misses? Or his parents? Or might be a girlfriend?” she innocently answers.

 “Have you tried imagining yourself being a girlfriend of Park Jimin?” he asked out the blue.

 She suddenly burst into laugh. “Seriously? That’s always been the question to any fan girls.”

 “I was just curious!” he defend.

 She still keeps continuing laughing. “Honestly?  Hmmm… yeah? Before.  I mean, it’s always with fan girls thought and imagination. And if I imagine being Park Jimin’s girlfriend then I would be lucky as fuck, right? He seems kind and gentle and caring and sometimes he looked innocent that you just wanted to protect him in this world. Sometimes, he looks so boyfriend material, and sometimes he’s just… nice.”

 He stared at her.

 “But you know what Gikwang, I think it’s also not good to be the girlfriend of someone’s that’s famous. You always have to be so patient and understanding. You always have to adjust with their schedules and be considerate in every way. It’s just so sad to think that if ever the Spring Day he performed was meant for someone, it's kinda depressing that he wasn’t able to properly address the song for her. He can’t mention the name or just blatantly express his emotions directly to someone. It feels like it’s a forbidden love.”

 Gikwang just took a deep breath. “How’d you know?”

 Anna stopped and looked at his face. “I don’t know? I just…” she trails off. “… strangely could feel it.” Then she continued walking leaving him behind.

  —   —  —

  Park Jimin just found his self hiding behind the post light when he left the apartment and decided to finally go and check her. Since the day he removed all her memories, he made a pledge that he will never go and see Anna, but he’s breaking the promise now. It was always been Kim Taehyung who regularly checking her out. Even without telling him, he knows he’s doing it almost single day, just every time they got spare time. He’s secretly thankful and he knows Kim Taehyung just doing that out of concern. He also knows how he misses her but just decided to keep it himself. There’s no point in opening the same topic all over again. He even knows how this man sneaking out every break just to check if she came home safe and sound.  He almost memorized her schedule on when estimatedly she’ll be walking home.

 Park Jimin adjusted his cap and face mask to make sure no one can recognize him.  He never had any blood these past few months so he’s too weak to use his strength in compelling someone.

He watched her from afar and he can’t deny the guilt he’s feeling after the conversation he had with Mrs. Kim. Every time he imagines how he stole the memories she kept it's eating him wholly. Those pleasant memories of meeting someone like Kim Taehyung and Yeosin is very regretful. Those were the memories she should store while living, but he took it away from her. He took the happiness she may feel to remember that once in her life she got to meet good people like them.

 Jimin leaned against the post and he saw how Anna was anxiously checking her surroundings. When she made sure that nothing’s strange, she checked back the traffic lights and he decided to come out from hiding. He fished out his phone from his pocket and used it to pretend he’s busy then stood just a few steps away from her.

The strong scent of her hair, her body and blood were alluding him again and it feels like he’ll gonna lose his sanity anytime soon. Every atom of his body misses her so much and the feeling making him sick to his stomach. Jimin tried to focus on the empty screen of his phone but no matter what he do, he can see her every movement in the peripheral view of his eyes.

At one point, he felt that she was looking in his direction. He felt like the whole world stopped for a moment together with his breath. He concentrates and swallowed an ounce of courage to look in her direction as well.

He slowly, very slowly turned his head and their eyes met.

 On those exact seconds, he wanted to talk to her but all he can do is to spill the feelings on his self. Alone.

 “When you look at me, it’s like the world stops just for a split of seconds. My heart stops. I look into those deep eyes. I look away making sure you don’t notice how much you mean to me.”

 He cut his stare and looked down. He once again saw how she moved to bow. Jimin bit his lips. The light go green and when he feels she moved again to cross the road, he watched her. Black hair bouncing at her back, she gracefully walks alone. 

But it’s not yet more than five seconds since she crosses the street when he saw an upcoming truck on her way and it seems like it doesn’t have any plans on stopping.

 He was about to move to save her when a man sprint to grab her fast as he could. He was able to haul her over on the other side of the road and he found that it was Lee Gikwang. The man who purposely tried provoking him just few days ago. He don’t know if he should be thankful or not by saving her life.

 He just watched her, not even tried listening what they were talking about because her smile and laugh was already enough to tell him that she’s fine and happy… with this man.

 He have her laugh memorized like it’s his favorite song and her night sky black eyes still take his breath away like the first time he saw them.