#I bet when I took that long ass break from tumblr my writing just went to shit. I gotta get back in the groove orz.

[bxtonpxss]

[yooleestruck]

in which lee rambles about how great writers are

I don’t really know what this is. I don’t know if now is the right time to do this, or a really bad time, or if it makes any sense, but I want to talk about it! I feel like a broken record saying ‘the writing matters most, the writing matters most’ but maybe I need to show what I mean by that? So, here is an attempt. 

I’m sorry not all of these are the same length and not everyone is here, because every time I see that someone is a writer I do try to follow but I don’t always know/remember! Also I am weird about this sort of thing and don’t want to tag people in a monster-long post, so I’m just going to link. I also don’t want to make this a producers vs writers thing, it’s not, it’s just, when I say I notice writer-stuff, an explanation of what, specifically, I mean. 

Writers have a style fingerprint. I’m sure someone with an actual creative writing or English background could describe it all academic-ly, but my ex-chemist ass is just going to call it a fingerprint. 

My first game in Lovestruck was Starship Promise - I love Firefly, I’m a bisexual disaster scientist by education, it fit. But I had been REALLY put off by GIL when it first came out (this was back when they released stories in parts? And the heroine, which I will get to) and though I’d glanced at AFK, I mistrusted it after GIL and Medusa, who was who I was interested in, wasn’t out yet. So I resisted a LONG time.  I finally picked up LS and SP and played it explicitly because a friend said, you need to give this another chance, for a list of specific reasons. 

And when Atlas’s route came out, I read it a stupid number of times. I must have re-read his season 1 & 2 at least eight times apiece (he is still my most read route, despite the fact I have not read his last season because I want to leave the story open-ended)  so when I read Neil Dresner’s route, I recognized the fingerprint. Not only that, when I was reading Jett and the episodes with the paint scene (YOU KNOW THE SCENE) came out, my breath caught with how lovely it was, a particular in-between moment and touch, and even though it wasn’t a phrase I had seen, the style of it, had me re-reading (because it was gorgeous) again and again from the log for like five minutes and I thought, “I bet Melissa wrote this” AND SHE DID. 

Physical touch! (& in-betweens)

Melissa-grey has a particular way of writing about physical touch in very emotional moments that is very real and grounded and ironically the effect is just magical. It creates these so skillful “in between” moments, those little things that aren’t dialogue and aren’t metaphor but SHOW you that this closed off person is cracking for their little ray of sunshine. They are SO subtle and so beautiful, like, the heroine noticing the scent of a pillow, or a softening of an aborted hand movement.  She sets up and executes these moments of physical touch as a conduit for emotional touch with characters who aren’t ready to admit he latter and it’s DELICIOUS. Those little in-betweens are what I live for in story - and it includes all the supporting cast moments, who swell up to make the world feel lived in, and balanced (I loathe love stories where no one else exists! That’s a recipe for disaster, people need networks) I noticed when she stopped writing, and because I missed it, I went and bought the entire Midnight Girl series, as well as Rated (I hope that is flattering and not creepy!) and that style of writing is so unique, that without KNOWING, I picked it up in four separate routes (noticed in Sev’s s1, too!) 

Pacing (& friggen heartache)

Another fingerprint! Ripping your heart out! Arthoure has had me in tears, MULTIPLE TIMES and I get very grouchy about it every time because I am the least sentimental and romantic person that I know (I once MOVED STATES to avoid an ‘I love you’ conversation. I once said ‘yikes’ in response to an ‘I love you’ and I once broke up with someone because I thought he was going to propose. I’m a bitch) but I think it’s because of pacing! I know that producers play a role in that, but that actually makes it more impressive, because making each bit of story feel like it fits precisely the amount of space it needs when you don’t really get a say in how much space that is has got to take a MASSIVE amount of effort. Every little hint, every emotional beat, every character tell, they drop at a consistent build so the emotional payoff is just brutal (in a good, cathartic way?) every time a route makes me cry I wait and see and YEAH ITS ALWAYS ARTHOURE. The sweep and sentiment of Remy’s season 2 is unparalleled. Across Time is gutwrenching, and I actually stopped reading Renzei at one point because I was so emotional over it I had to like, LEGIT TAKE A BREAK to recover. Pacing and heartache. I have to stop and wonder - is it because the routes themselves are so gut-punching? OR is it because she knows how to wring every last emotional drop out of whatever story framework is handed to her? Because, Ezekiel’s villain costume is a bit silly (there I said it, it is) I get the cobra helmet shape in theory but in practice, ooof, but POINT BEING despite being skeptical I’d be able to take his story seriously as a result, I was hiccuping from crying so much (and I am gosh darn adult, in my thirties, with three degrees and a high-stress job at pretty major company. I DON’T CRY EASY)

 Dialogue (& heroines!)

Xekstrin is the gosh damn master of dialogue. Clever, witty banter that doesn’t go where you expect it to, meandering but natural topic changes that are delightful to follow and feel real, and--special shoutout for this, okay--the navigation of viscerally important topics like consent, kink, self-worth, power in relationships, self-sacrifice, and apologies in a way that is not stilted or forced at all (listen, I know Viv & Lyris are the most recent and they are amazing but I remember this first hit me when I was reading Astraeus, and I spent half the route with my jaw on the floor going, oh shit,  oh shit. The communication! The navigation of the complexity of emotion going on, chef’s kiss! Casual isn’t the right word, but, natural, maybe?). I don’t actually take that many screenshots of the app--it’s usually single lines that get me--but when I do, they are almost always conversations from one of her routes, because they’re so damn good, and often so unexpected, and yet always make such perfect sense for the characters involved. Dialogue is SO HARD OKAY. Actually try and transcribe a conversation sometime, it’s nuts how people talk vs how most people write people talking. Xekstrin also writes some of my absolute favorite MCs, and going back to fingerprints, I was reading Lyris s1 and right there in the first tavern scene, as we were following along with the heroine’s thoughts I went, ah, yes, I know who you belong to and I am SO EXCITED. Being able to give the heroine unique thoughts and quirks, to make her genuinely relatable, without overriding the necessary template of the genre dictates, is a skill all of its own. But I love her MCs! There is a beautiful balance of compassion, competence, and dash of bratty, wild, fun mischief. I can actually cheer for them. I can actually get behind them. I WANT the love interest to flop at their feet for who they are, not just because the story says so. And that comes from how the heroine’s thoughts are written, from her phrasing in conversations, how she sees situations, not just a producer saying ‘she is a strong lead who is self conscious about her ears and she’s nervous in the council meeting’ or whatever. I AM REALLY STRUGGLING to articulate this if you can’t tell from how long I have been blathering. Maybe this - the heroine is the same across every route, presumably, yes? Everyone has the same base. I NEVER question, when xekstrin is writing, why the love interest falls in love with her. Side note - I had hard written off GIL after a bad experience with the standalone app. I only read Aurora BECAUSE I learned she wrote it, and I would have SO MISSED OUT otherwise.

A complete aside in which Lee grumbles about heroines and not writers!

(Complete side vent: Often, the heroine is, if not a blank slate, a sort of collection of assigned traits, and she often remains so unless the story demands she become otherwise. Which is fine! I don’t personally, but I know a lot of folks self-insert, and so erring towards that makes sense. Almost all the otome I’ve played were originally written for a Japanese audience. When I played original Voltage games, starting back in 2014, I always had to remind myself - different culture, different culture, different culture, and it was not possible for me to relate to most of the heroines. I still enjoyed the stories, but I rarely cheered for the heroine’s romance, especially in some of the slice of life stories. I understood her, but I rarely wanted her to get with the love interest, I wanted her success to come in other ways! Another game company, Cybird, tried to ‘Americanize’ their heroine to IMO disastrous effect - it was such a stereotype, and made no sense since they didn’t also Americanize the context, so she come across as, frankly, ridiculous. And frankly, Voltage’s GIL heroine REEKED OF THAT. When they first posted her on social media I was legitimately annoyed about it, like could you lean into this more? I think not. So when I talk about being able to relate to and cheer for the heroine, it’s a big deal, because my blatant mistrust of Voltage and their ability to craft a heroine I could tolerate was a BIG factor in how long it took me to give Lovestruck a try. I was willing to tolerate it in translated stories, I was so skeptical of -en only ones.) 

Metaphors (& balance)

literacouture writes beautiful metaphors for connection between humans! I’m really bad at keeping track of who writes what, but I purposefully kept an eye out on tumblr after reading Cal’s route, because there were some lines that were pure poetry, and I wanted to keep an eye out for more. It is HARD to spin metaphors prettily without delving into trite, painful, purple prose cringe territory, and it’s navigated beautifully in Cal’s route. There’s a balance between those spin-out moments and things that are tangible and anchoring and make it feel authentic and unique to the two characters involved, instead of just ‘I am trying to make this sound romantic and this is a romantic phrase so here it is’. That balance is really necessary. You NEED the mundane alongside the metaphor or it doesn’t feel authentic. Also. Trying really hard to write this without throwing any authors or producers under the bus, but...listen. I love Sin with Me. But the world logic (or LACK THEREOF) drives me up a wall. I don’t read Cal because of his character traits or sprite or (sigh) his story. I read him because literacouture writes a beautiful romance.

 So anyway...

There are more! When I am less tired and don’t have meetings, I will try and write them up (Please know there are so many routes I love, and so many things I do recognize across chapters! I don’t even HAVE words for what theivorytowercrumbles accomplished with Helena’s story not to mention how much I adore Cyprin,  SummerLightning’s handling of Onyx’s past relationship was so deftly done when it could have so quickly become ‘milk abuse for plot’ and joidecombat gave Sev a fresh, mischievous energy and navigated the dream/reality line with SUCH skill, and so on and so on.)

I’ve written a lot of reviews. And I try to give nods where I feel they’re due - sometimes, it really is obvious that the whole team’s work came together to makes something great, the world, the plot, the arc, the art, the words, and the music all fit into place in a  well-crafted tour de force. And sometimes one piece or another is lacking, and I’ll admit I’ve left some...less than kind reviews to that end (I try and soften it, because I know there are humans on the other side of everything, but I’ve been harsh more than once with my opinions).  I’ve read routes with plots that made me want to tear my hair out because I DO value consistency and logic to a degree, even if I’m going to accept at face value that, say, space travel is a thing or demons turn to sand when stabbed. 

In the end, these are romance stories. So I will let a lot slide when it comes to plot. What sells a story are the words - not the outline.

And if Voltage doesn’t believe that - just remember that Hamlet existed long, long before Shakespeare wrote it. His was the version that lasted, because the people liked it best. The plot, the world, the characters, they all existed a hundred times over. Even just look at fan translations of manga. Why do people keep translating, even if someone else has? Because the words someone else picked don’t do the story justice. 

I don’t know. I’m talking in circles because I don’t know my own thesis! 

Maybe it’s just - the worlds these stories in are nice. But when I say I’m a fan of something, the premise is like. 10%. The rest is the writing. 

[bbrandy2002]

Wacky Drabble #16: What Goes Around

Part 2 of Something Flubbed…

This is part of @emceesynonymroll #wackydrabbles

Liam x Riley

Catch up with Part 1

A/N: What started as a crack drabble about tumblr reblogs, of all things, has somehow morphed into a semi-actual story. I'm still scratching my head on how I did it and have just decided to let my Liam and Riley tell the story. Its still mostly crack yo!

Prompt: Was I not supposed to

Word count: 1322

Liam’s right eye was twitching as he shot her a look of pure hell and contention. He stammered for words, unsure of what to say or even think. The last thing he ever expected from Riley was infidelity, believing their marriage was something special, something sacred, something she respected and was devoted to as much as he was. That she had written, in a mediocre fashion, the details of a courtyard tryst with Drake, his best friend of all people, and even relished in the fact that she was doing so, was next to unforgiveable in his mind.

Riley approached her husband apprehensively, wanting to explain herself, if she even could. She clasped her hands together firmly, attempting to control the visible trembling. She knew this was bad, but, was hopeful it could be cleared up quickly. At this point, the truth had to be better than what she assumed he was thinking. Before she was able to inch too close, he held his hand up to stop her. With his mist filled eyes, the ones that were breaking her apart, he began his scathing remarks. “First off…..your friend here just sent you a message asking if some girl named Alyssa should fuck me at Drake’s funeral”.

“Aww, she’s killing Drake off”, her posture slumped as she shook her head disappointingly. Her gaze met his again; realizing he really was in no mood for banter. “Liam, It’s not what you think ”

“Secondly”, he continued with a raised voice, cutting her explanation off, “Did you fuck Drake in a courtyard in Fydelia, writing….and I quote, “his cock is much larger than Liam’s”.

Riley swallowed hard, searching for the right words, ones that were truthful, yet, not so hurtful. She inhaled deeply, preparing to come clean of her offense, "Sweetheart, its just fanfiction and all that Drake stuff was just a really, really bad bet I lost. I swear, I have never, ever been with Drake."

Liam quirked his brow, "a really bad bet, huh?"

"Yes", she answered, tugging nervously at the tie on her robe. " I bet Burnsy I knew Drake better than she knew you, and...."

"Burnsy?"

"...but, when I took Anitah's quiz..."

"Quiz?"

"I didn't know about the mojitos and bears and a bunch of other shit and then Beeps had to make..."

"Beeps?"

"those monster Drake kids that are on my blog and I had to write smut, but, I didn't know how to write smut, so I had to watch porn....oh my god, there was so much porn, and ritachacha wanted to read it and...Im no ritachacha...so I drank and cried and binged on porn and bananas for two weeks solid and I attempted to hide the post but these turmblr girls are thristy and can sniff out smut, even the bad ones and Im so sorry Liam, Im so.....so sorry", she inhaled deeply trying to catch her breath from her long winded tangent.

"I have no idea what the hell you just said", he bit back, completely dumbfounded and baffled by her explanation.

"You don't understand what I said?"

"Do you?", he yelped.

Riley watched with trepidation as Liam tossed the laptop on the bed and eased himself up from the floor, wincing at the shooting pain in his back from the fall, rubbing and massaging the sore spot above his ass.

Riley moved towards him in an attempt to help, concerned about his injuries and wellbeing, but, he jerked away, hobbling to the other side of the room, keeping his back to her.

"Liam", her voice cracking as tears of shame began to fall. "Liam, please look at me....none of that is real..none of it...it was just a dumb bet".

He shot a glance sideways, still not completely looking at her, "so you wrote that you rode Drake's...collosus dick, harder than Seattle Slew because of a bet?".

She chuckled a little, amused by her husband's analogy, before quickly composing herself, "Was I not supposed to?", she replied innocently, "it was a bet, Liam...everyone knows you can't take back a bet".

Liam spun around to face her, shocked at the words that just spewed from her lips, "I see", he nodded, tapping the front of his chin. With a clenched jaw, he breathed deeply through his nose and exhaled sharply, his eyes speaking for him, full of disdain and hurt.

He strolled forward in her direction, stopping just shy of her petite frame. He leaned over until his reddened face was directly in front of hers and just inches apart, his voice clear and firm, "Then I bet your ass won't mind sleeping elsewhere tonight".

Riley's eyes widened, her mouth falling open, unable to find words. She watched in astonishment as he reached across the bed, retrieving her pillow before holding it out to her.

"You can't be serious?"

"Oh, I'm very serious", he stated matter-of-factly, "and if you want back in this bed anytime soon....or my "not as enormous as Drake's" cock, you will delete that fucking blog".

"I don't accept that bet, Your Majesty", she seethed, tossing the pillow back on the bed, sitting herself on the edge with her legs crossed and her hands folded on them. "I'm not going anywhere and I'm not deleting that blog".

Liam perched his lips, gliding his tongue along the inside of his cheek. Realizing she called his bluff, "Fine..", he yanked his pillow up and tucked it firmly under his arm, "I'll be in my study"

"Fine", she shrugged.

"Fine!"

Liam hastily exited the bedroom, slamming the door and did what he said he would do. He opened his desk drawer searching for anything that would take away the pounding in his head and the throb in his backside. He opened the bottle of Aleve and found it empty before throwing it across the room. He kept Riley's Midol in there too for when he needed to quell her bitchiness during certain times of the month. Helps with cramps, bloating, tension, backpain, headaches, irritablity, muscle aches and water weight gain, he had all of them.

Liam unloaded three into his mouth, washing them down with the bottle of whiskey he reserved for when Drake would drop by for a quick drink. He slumped down into his desk chair, still reeling from the audacity and nerve of his wife. He wanted her to feel as bad as he did at this moment, to see how her actions made him feel. It didn't matter if it was real or not, she wrote it. He knew in his heart she and Drake wouldn't betray him that way, but, did she want to? Did she really think his dick was small and that he was an asshole?

He thought to himself as he continued sipping on his drink, how could he make her see and feel exactly the way he does? He contemplated his options for several minutes, when, like a spark igniting, it came to him....two can play this game.

Liam's lips curled into a sinister grin, his eyes lighting up, as he pulled his chair closer to his desk, turning the computer on. He downed the rest of the bottle, tossing it aside, as he cracked his knuckles, preparing to give Riley a little taste of her own medicine.

----------------------

It was early Saturday morning when the sun just started to brighten the morning sky. A bright, warm ray shining through the balcony doors and landing squarely on Riley's face, her darkened complexion glowing more than usual. She yawned and stretched, feeling content from a good nights sleep.

Reaching her arm across the bed, she felt the emptiness of where Liam usually slept. Did she care that he was pissed off with her, of course. She loved him and never wanted to hurt him, but, she wouldn't be controlled, nor, intimidated by him. She was hopeful that by him sleeping in the study last night and a little time away from each other, it would cool him down and they could discuss this rationally.

With another big stretch and yawn, she noticed her laptop still sitting in the same spot on the bed Liam had left it last night. She lunged over and scooped the device into her arms.

Plugging in the charger, she fired up the app and immediately took note of the numerous tags she had from several of her mutuals for the same story. Curious, she clicked on the link taking her to a rather peculiar title:

"Liam Fucks Hana Five Ways From Sunday With His Enormous Dick"

A new collaborative drabble by @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore and newcomer @inyourfacerileybrooks-love-liam

NSFW 🍋🍋🍋

He had bamboozled her, and in doing so, somehow convinced Bleakmore to join into his scheme; she knew it was him.

"I'm going to slaughter him...LIAM!!!!!!!!"

Wacky Drabblers and Permatags: @emceesynonymroll @burnsoslow @jessiembruno @sirbeepsalot @dcbbw @romanticatheart-posts @stopforamoment @katedrakeohd @pedudley @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @drakesensworld @ao719 @janezillow @eileendannie @texaskitten30 @glaimtruelovealways @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @eileendannie @hopefulmoonobject

[trynnabemultifandom]

Ch 1|Your first day| Gavin Reed x Reader Book

Tuesday 29 February 2039 7:30 AM

Your POV

I take a deep breath in and out to calm myself. First day jitters is all. When I feel like I'm calm enough, I walk through the front doors. Upon walking up to the front desk, I see a female android sitting there managing everything. "Hello, how can I help you?" She asks me, smiling politely. "Hi, my name is Y/n L/N and today is my first day. I was wondering if you could guide me to Captain Fowler's office?" I reply. She nods "Ah yes, Detective L/N. Captain Fowler's office is right up ahead and first turn on the left. Welcome to Detroit Police Department" I nod and thank her, making my way to Fowler's office. I knock on the door and not even a second later, I hear a loud "Come in" from the other side. "Hello Captain Fowler, it's good to meet you" I say, shaking his hand and sitting down. "Detective L/N, good to meet you too. I know that today is your first day but I hope you don't mind getting straight into work" I try contain my excitement "I absolutely don't mind. In fact, I was hoping you would say that" He chuckles a little "So we have an eager worker"

Not a moment later, he calls in another person into his office. "This is getting ridiculous, Fowler I didn't even do anything this time, why are you calling me in here?" the voice says. So he's a trouble maker then, who ever he is. "I called you in here Detective Reed because you're getting assigned a new partner" I turn my head to see the source of the new voice but there is something blocking me from seeing it. "Oh no, Fowler I'm not being partnered up with one of those plastic pricks" Fowler's expression seemed to have changed from a monotone expression to an angry one "Detective Reed I will not be dealing with you attitude today. Your partner is a human being and is right behind that door. Go say hi to her, be nice and show her around!" Captain Fowler walks through the door, my new partner following behind him "Detective Y/N L/N, this is your new partner Detective Gavin Reed. Reed this is L/N, I hope that you will both get on well and have no problems, if either of you do though, come talk to me. Now get to work"

Before i could say another word, my partner Gavin stormed out and was mumbling something under his breath. I sighed but tried to remain positive about the whole situation. I follow Gavin to his desk and I see a free desk in front of his. I place my bag down and take a seat. "Fowler put me on road duty, going 'round seeing if I need to give anyone parking tickets, so that's what we're doing today." I didn't expect him to talk or even explain what we were doing, but he did "Ok" Gavin stands up and gets his keys, I presume that means we're leaving now. I slip my phone into my back pocket and follow Gavin out to his car. "Bet this isn't a fun as you wanted it to be" Says Gavin, out of the blue. I look over to him, "I wouldn't mind if a big action case came in, but this is good too"

I wanted to add on by saying we could get to know each other, but I feel like sharing information isn't really Gavin's style. "Well with the amount of androids going rogue, we might have an action case soon. Those fuckers can't seem to keep a hold on their emotions" I was about to say something before Gavin added onto what he was saying "Not that they should have any emotions" That peaked my interest "You think androids shouldn't have emotions?" I ask him. He looks me in the eye, it sent a chill down my spine "You do?" I nod "Well yeah, not only are they basically supposed to be human, so they kind of have to have or show 'emotions' but I mean, a lot of people don't like to think this way, but they're living too. Whether the androids are deviant or not, they should still be able to live free"

When I'm finished talking, Gavin had already pulled into a parking space. Gavin turned to face me "We'll continue this in the Cafe" I nod though Gavin's already out of the car. By the time I catch up to him, he was already in the queue so I just decided to grab a table. "Hey, I just went ahead and ordered you a coffee. Hope that's ok" I look up at Gavin and smile "Yeah, that's grand, thank you. To be honest, I wasn't actually expecting anything" Gavin pulls a fake shocked face "Hey, I'm mean, but I'm not that mean" We both chuckle at this. It's so weird that Gavin is actually being nice to me. Not only did he just meet me but he's never been nice to anyone before as far as I've heard. "Hey, how much was the coffee?" I ask. Gavin looks up from the table "Why?" "I want to pay you back for buying me this one" He just smiles, "If you really want to pay me back, you'll buy the next time, but now we gotta go" I nod "Ok deal"

The drive back to the station was filled with both of us quoting old vines. When we got back to the station, Gavin walked over to the breakroom. Just as I was going to follow him, Connor came up to me. "Hi Y/N. We never got a chance to know each other. My name is Connor, I'm the android sent by Cyberlife. I was sent here to help Lieutenant Anderson with any deviant cases they get. I suppose you could call me a deviant hunter" I smile "Hi Connor. Yeah, we never got a good chance to talk before now-" I was cut off by a gruff call of my name. I turn my head to the direction it came from. I see Gavin standing there with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall. I turn back to Connor "Sorry Connor, I got to get back to work" He smiles "It's quite alright Y/N, I understand" I walk over to Gavin, who's still leaning against the wall, arms crossed. "What do you want?" He scoffs "Ouch, that's harsh" I chuckle "Didn't mean for it to sound so harsh. Anyway, what is it? I was talking to Connor" His demeanour seemed to change slightly

"Oh nothing, I was just thinking that maybe we should be getting back to work, we've got quite a bit of paperwork to do, so I thought we could get a headstart on it" I nod, not fully believing what he's saying but go with it anyway. "Yeah, that's a good call. Want to get it done and out of the way now" We both sit down at our desks and Gavin gets straight to work. I get all my thing in order and try to work, but my mind keeps wandering. I can't help but think of how Gavin had changed from being an ass earlier on, to being nice. I don't want to ruin anything by asking about his sudden change, so I just decide to leave it. "Hey, Y/N, you ok?" I  turn to Gavin "Hm? Oh yeah, I'm ok" Gavin looks at me unconvinced but decides to drop it.

Time Skip

"Fowler, I'm going to be clocking out now, is there anything you need me to do before I go, because if you try call me after I leave, I'll probably be piss drunk" "Anderson you better answer your phone if I call! Connor informs me that he does have to get you from your house! I see Hank roll his eyes as he leaves "Yeah yeah whatever" I look back to my computer and look at the time . "My gosh, I didn't realise it was so late" Gavin looks over to me, "Yeah, time flies when you've got a lot of paperwork to do" I chuckle and turn off my computer, gathering all my belongings. Before I can even take a step, Gavin calls my name

Gavin's POV

What am I doing? I just met her today. I should hate her, but I don't for some reason. This is weird. I want to ask her does she want to grab some food with me, but I don't want to either give the wrong impression or get laughed at. Come on Gavin, you got this! "Do you want to maybe grab a bite to eat with me. Just we need to review the case files and I don't know about you, but if I bring them home, I will probably forget about them" I hope that was smooth enough. What the phuck is happening to me?! I need to get myself together! "Yeah, sure. I'd be absolutely hopeless and forget about the work too if I brought it home" We both chuckle. "Well let's go then, there's actually a place that's local if you want to head there" I nod "Yeah sure, sounds great. Just lead the way" What is this girl doing? She's my colleague so nothing can happen, and she's slowly moving her way in, to slowly break down my walls. Is it on purpose?

Your POV  

When Gavin asked me to go get food with him I was a bit shocked. I said yes, because if I was being honest, I was kind of hungry but also I wanted to spend time with him outside of work. I'm not too sure if he was being completely honest about getting food with me just to go over the cases, but I could be overthinking this and reading too much into it. He could be just being nice because we're partners. He probably doesn't even like me in either way. When we get out to his car he says, "Oh hey, if we get coffee, I promise I'll let you pay for it this time" I let out a laugh "Thanks. You know, I was going to get you a coffee in the breakroom and disguise it as store bought but that would just be cheating" He gasps while holding his chest "I would be so offended if you did. And here I thought our blossoming friendship meant more to you than that" He smiles to me, and I smile back. When we're sitting in the car, I can't help but go over his words in my head "I thought our blossoming friendship meant more to you than that" So maybe we are becoming friends. Maybe he does like me as a friend and not just a colleague. Now I'm excited to see how this turns out.

Ahhhhh, I'm finally finished. I think the reason why it took the length of time it did for me to finish it was the fact that it was so long and I had school work to do. But no my country is in lockdown, so I can't even go outside. I hope you liked this chapter, and sorry again that it took so long to write and upload. I'll et working on the next one, but I still have school work to do, I'll just have to maneuver this around my timetable, but there will be more chapters!!!

TUMBLR NOTE: AS I UPLOAD THE CHAPTERS TO WATTPAD, I’LL UPLOAD THEM TO TUMBLR

[ashdoescomics]

alright tumblr let’s get theorizing

Chase. #1 trending on YouTube currently, and one of the biggest things the JSE community has been waiting for. Evident from some asks, Sean himself said that this is the most information put out about Chase and it’s jam packed with background hidden in plot points and setups. Now, I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but my AP English classes have taught me how to write so you bet I’m gonna put that knowledge to use. (cue Ryan Bergara BFU voiceover) With that being said, let’s get into some theories. ((hey!! scroll all the way down to the bottom of this long ass post for the TL;DR if you don’t wanna read it all!!))

We open with Chase entering the scene of what is presumably his house/apartment. An eviction notice is taped on his door, which states that he must vacate the premises no later than September of 2019. Eviction notices are only given to a a judgment debtor (which is specified in the notice itself), meaning that Chase probably hasn’t paid his rent in full, or at all for that matter. This can be further backed up by the fact that in the very first video where we were introduced to Chase Brody, he seemed to be making his “Bro Average” videos as a way of not only coping with his failed marriage, but for coming up with a paycheck. Videos can possibly be his source of income, and it would make sense that as a struggling content creator, Chase is only living by scraping up what he has left (which I think explains the excited facade he puts up throughout the “Bro Average” vids despite his true depressed nature).

Chase then goes to his car and opens the driver’s side door, from which garbage spills out. This could be symbolic of the cluttered headspace Chase Brody has been in ever since the events of “Bro Average”, or it could also show that Chase has been evicted for some time now and spends his time living in his car (or both! We are theorizing after all!)

In this shot, where he rummages through his glove box, we catch a glimpse of the same whiskey bottle present in the end of the video “Tie- A Game About Depression”. This can be attributed to his coping mechanism of drinking, which is obviously a common theme surrounding Mr. Brody.

As he’s looking in the glove box, we see “another Sean” in the back seat, staring at Chase. As of right now, this scene can be totally up in the air as to what it means or if it’s real or not, but I just have a few thoughts on this. First, this could be a dreamlike sequence (which I’ll get back to later) in which Chase (or another ego) is looking back on the past and what happened to see what went wrong. Second, this could be taking place in real time, in which Chase’s manifestation of his inner demon is tangibly symbolized by another “him”. Seeing double usually symbolizes the duality of man or duality of a certain character, and Chase is no exception. Considering the mental state Chase must be in at this moment, it’s possible that this scene symbolizes the inner turmoil or torn feelings he has.

He pulls out a photo from his glove box, which we can assume to be of his wife Stacey and his unnamed kid, and proceeds to have a mental breakdown in his car, yelling and hitting his wheel. In most movies, this is a breaking point similar to a character punching a mirror or trashing up a room. Bottled up emotions from his past being triggered by one photo further solidifies Chase’s unstable mental state.

Fast forward a bit, and Chase decides to drive up to the woods, which seems to be a place that he holds dearly (more on that later). As previously mentioned, I just want to bring back up the possibility that this entire thing could be a dream or fantasy sequence, because of the strange use of a fish eye lens when Chase enters the woods. Fisheye lenses are used to make the photographed scene appear more panoramic and it’s typically a wide shot lens used for photos, but for some reason it stuck out to me when it was used in this video. Now, I could just be overanalyzing things here, but distortion lenses, when used in videos or movies, can be symbolic of a dreamlike sequence. This could mean that the woods section of this video is all just happening in his head, and the “extra Sean” we saw in the backseat of the car is just Chase reliving what happened in the past (implying that this entire video, up until the end where Chase is in the parking lot, happened in the past). BUT I DIGRESS

Chase walks through the woods and settles on a spot where a tower of rocks are balanced and thIS MY FRIENDS is where I found my most compelling piece of evidence. He pulls out the polaroid photo, kisses it, and sets it down at the base of the rock structure, and this was SUCH A BIG THING I had to google it. What I came up with was an article with the quote about balanced rocks: “These piles aren’t true cairns, the official term for deliberately stacked rocks. From middle Gaelic, the word means “mound of stones built as a memorial or landmark.” There are plenty of those in Celtic territories, that's for sure, as well as in other cultures; indigenous peoples in the United States often used cairns to cover and bury their dead. Those of us who like to hike through wilderness areas are glad to see the occasional cairn, as long as it's indicating the right way to go at critical junctions in the backcountry.” 

WELL WELL WELL look what we have HERE! These balanced rocks, aka cairns, act almost like headstones for the deceased and a path guide in the wilderness. Which, funny enough, is what we’re probably looking at right here in this shot! Chase putting the photo at the base of the cairn most likely means that his wife and child are unfortunately deceased, which may or may not be due to his own actions (reference back to Chase’s mental breakdown at the sight of the polaroid photo-- he doesn’t seem to take even just looking at the photo well). This cairn is also in a spot that Chase seems very familiar with, especially because he settles down fairly quickly, taking a swig of his whiskey on a boulder nearby. Chances are, there’s some history in this neck o��� the woods and it could be the spot of cherished memories with Chase’s family. I’d also like to point out that there is a certain scene at the end of one of Sean’s videos titled “Dark Silence”, in which we hear children’s screams and presumably Chase yelling, “What did you do to them?”. Could the death of his family and the ending of “Dark Silence” be tied together? POSSIBLY SO!! Am I implying that Anti might have some foul play involved with the Brody family?? MaYbEE!!! 

Finally, we reach the end of the 4 minute video, in which Chase is seemingly teleported to the top of a parking lot complex. He looks around confused and a little nervous or worried, and he checks over the edge of the railing and feels himself as if to make sure he’s in one piece. I think this is a strange detail to add in, especially since it’s the one we end on and are therefore stuck with. Personally, I think that the transition out of the woods sequence was Chase snapping back into reality, realizing that there’s something he has to do. Let me elaborate: the woods sequence sandwiched in between the beginning and the end of this short stuck out like a sore thumb to me. Unlike the start (where Chase is greeted with the eviction notice and he enters his car) and the end (where he ends up on the parking lot complex), the woods sequence in between is clearly different; taking place away from the city, nature is clearly evident and more dominant, and it’s taken in a warmer color. Now this might just be me and my “so-you’re-tryna-be-smart” ass, but the woods sequence seemed to be in a warmer light than the cooler ones in the beginning and end. Warmer tones usually have an underlying dream feel. What I’m tryna get at here is that the woods sequence we saw-- regardless of whether or not it actually happened-- might be a dream, and Chase “teleporting” to the parking lot was him snapping out of it. He seems dazed for a moment, which looks to me like he was planning to take his own life (we know he has a tendency for doing things like this from the “Bro Average” video), but appears surprised to snap out of it and remaining in one piece-- alive. Maybe he thought he jumped off, but snaps out to realize he didn’t??

This shit’s already getting too long so TL;DR, Chase was evicted from his home, gets depressed that he has to deal with not only this, but his broken family, decides that the only way to resolve his issues is to take his life by jumping off a parking lot complex, has a dream about his family’s resting place, then snaps out of it only to realize that jumping off isn’t his last hurrah, because there’s something else he has to do first.

JESUS CHRIST i hope you liked that entire thing! these are just my thoughts and surprisingly enough, my first theorizing contribution for the JSE community! i hope it makes sense,, my eyes hurt and i’m really tired and this took me 2 hours pls enjoy :,) 

@therealjacksepticeye

[grandtheftstarship]

Drunken Promises (Leonard McCoy x Fem!Reader) [Request!]

“Hi I was wondering if you could write a story where Bones and the reader get really drunk on shore leave and get married. Neither of them know until they dock at a station and she gets a package on the bridge for Mrs. McCoy.” -anon

Hi anon!! I can NOT tell you how much I LOVE THIS IDEA. I had sooooo much fun writing this! Thank you for requesting!

Ughh I CAN NOT WAIT until summer break. Three more weeks, but they’re all going to be long ones. Here’s what’s going to be happening upload-wise: I have finals in two weeks and then I will be gone on a trip for another week without my laptop. I will hopefully have pre-written requests to upload from my phone, but I’m not sure if I will have time. If that doesn’t happen, once I get home I will write like there’s no tomorrow! I will be getting requests out

Word Count: 2043 Warnings: Fluff, swearing, implied smut Posted: Tumblr, Wattpad

You had definitely not planned on getting drunk. You were even the ‘designated driver’, and even though you were on Risa and had definitely not driven there, it was still (supposed) to be up to you to get everyone back to the ship safely. That was not what had gone down. 

The beginning was coming back slowly and in little pieces the next morning. You were hungover as hell, and supposedly everyone else that had gone on shore leave was too, judging by how Jim had given everyone an extra day to regroup. 

Sometime last night, you had rented a hotel room. You had assumed you had done it alone, since you woke up alone, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. You were sprawled over the king-sized bed, limbs tangled in the sheets and a bottle of fresh apple juice tucked under your arm. You groaned as light filtered into the room as one of Rigel V’s suns started rising higher, rolling over and taking a swig from your juice. 

You could remember who you went with; Jim, Scotty, Chekov, Spock, Uhura, Sulu, and Leonard. You remembered slipping into that [f/c] dress that you had been dying to wear in front of Leonard and caking on that ridiculous amount of makeup to make him jealous when other guys approached you. You just couldn’t remember anything after that. 

Hours later, your rumbling stomach was enough for you to drag your drunk ass out of bed, gripping the apple juice bottle tightly. You slid your legs out first, only then realizing you were nearly naked (which was just a little odd) and then allowing your head to adjust to the sudden movement. You didn’t have any clothes with you since you came here straight from the bar, so you shrugged a plush complementary robe over your shoulders and made your way to the doorway. That was, until something on your bedside table caught your eye. 

You stumbled back towards your bed, bending down to pick it up. Your eyes widened when it hit you, nearly dropping back down.

It was an elaborate, stunning wedding ring.

You scrutinized it, bringing it closer to your eyes so you could examine it further. You brought it with you into the living room, placing it gently on the small kitchen counter, before looking in the mini fridge for something to eat. When you again realized that there was nothing in this room because you rented it when you were drunk, you had no food, no clothes, and no currency. You called room service anyway, telling them that you were a Starfleet officer and that the tab could be charged as a work expense. After all, your extra day was Jim’s doing, therefore making it Starfleet’s problem. They could deal with a $25 breakfast. 

It wasn’t that much later when a young Risan knocked on your door to present an elaborate meal. (Maybe it would be a little more than $25) You thanked her and promised that a tip would be included on the bill since you didn’t have any Risan cash money. She left in a hurry after that and you sighed, pouring yourself some of the pinkish drink from the pitcher into a glass and walking out onto the balcony. You sighed at the beautiful view, wondering how the hell your drunk self had gotten this room, and your thoughts wandered back to the shimmering silver ring resting in your palm. You couldn’t have gotten married, could you?

Accidentally getting married to one of your closest friends would have been enough to deal with, but a stranger? You didn’t know if you could deal with that. You heaved another sigh, placing the delicate piece of jewelry into the robe pocket and settling into the plush chair. You decided you would figure it out later. For now, you wanted to enjoy the killer view and the sweet breeze before you had to face anything.

                                               _________________

Leonard woke up in a strange bed, with next to no clothes on. He didn’t know where he was, or who he was with, or even what had happened the night before; all he could think about was his throbbing head and the fact that he might have had a one night stand. 

The lump next to him was turned away from him, knocked out cold, tangled in the sheets and snoring softly. He slipped off the bed and found his pants, maneuvering around to the other side in hopes he would see who he had (possibly) slept with, but her face was obscured from view besides the mop of hair spewing out from the covers. He moved to pull the pillow away, but he stopped. He didn’t want to confront whoever it was if he woke her. That didn’t stop him from looking around the room for other clues, though. His eyes caught onto a peek of [f/c] fabric poking out from underneath the conforter, still slightly attatched to the wearer, and Leonard’s thoughts flashed to [y/n]. She had been wearing a [f/c] dress that night as well and the possibility that the hungover girl in front of him was her, but he quickly pushed the thought away. He didn’t want to deal with those feelings. His eyes wandered around a bit more as he shrugged his shirt on and he froze as a glittering piece of metal grabbed his attention. 

Horror filled him as he held the intricate ring between his fingers, the possibility that he slept with a married woman dawning on him. He quickly placed the ring back where he had found it and hurried out from the room, running his fingers through his hair to make it seem less messy but making it worse. He buckled his belt in the elevator and smoothed the wrinkles out of the black tee he had decided to wear. In his hurry to leave he missed one crucial detail.

The silver band he wore on his left hand, matching the one he had found on the bedside table. 

He could remember that he had gone with all of the senior officers to the crowded bar, and he remembered the dress [y/n] wore. Oh, that dress, with the seemingly modest frame from the front but if she had turned just slightly, the slit traveling up her thigh just enough, and the open back that exposed her smooth skin; it was all enough to make his mouth water all over again. The thought occurred to him again that the woman in the room might’ve been her, but he thrust it away a second time. There were plenty of women wearing that color that night, not that he would rather be with one of them. Part of him hoped that it was you, but then returned to the ring and all bets were off. She wasn’t married to anyone. 

Not until last night at least.

                                                 ________________

The next morning, you felt ten times better than the day before. You tidied up a little bit before leaving, placing the Risan cash on the table that you had gotten from the ATM in the lobby for the polite Risan waitress and the housekeepers. You also paid for the robe, which was what you wore over your open-backed dress in the chilly morning. You absent-mindedly fiddled with the ring in your pocket, slipping it on without thinking. You pressed your other hand onto the scanner as you walked through security to get back onto the ship, not even sparing a second glance to the screen that displayed your name. The security guard’s gaze snapped up to look at you curiously, but before you could understand why you were already walking up the skywalk back into the ship. You hastily made your way to your quarters to change, but bumped into Jim. 

“Hey [y/n], back so soon?” he shot you a knowing glance and you rolled your eyes. 

“Hold your horses, Jimmy. I woke up alone yesterday,” you assured him, sidestepping the captain and continuing forward. 

“You sure about that?” he slid into step next to you, nudging your shoulder lightly. “Bones came back early yesterday morning-”

You took a sharp turn, interrupting him. He caught back up with you. 

“Trust me, Jim,” you began, stopping in front of your quarters. “Leonard would never sleep with me. Plus, I have more pressing matters to deal with.”

You flashed the ring to him as the doors closed, Jim’s eyes widening before the metal hissed shut in his face. You breathed out in relief, calling the computer to bring the lights up to 75% as you slid out of your robe and dress to hop into the shower. You took the ring off and set it on the counter before slipping into the warm spray.

Ten minutes later, you stepped out and tugged on your uniform, walking out of the bathroom while toweling out your hair. You also put the ring back on, twirling it absent-mindedly as you made your way to the bridge for duty. The turbolift hissed open and you strode out to your station. You started prepping before you felt someone come up behind you. 

“This is for you, Mrs. McCoy,” Jim sneered, holding the small package in front of you. Your eyes widened and suddenly, it all came crashing back down on you.

                                                _____________

You sat at the bar, several shot glasses littered around you as you guffawed with a stranger who had just bought another round. You could barely hear or see anything, you were so drunk, and suddenly the man wasn’t there anymore. You looked around curiously, and that's when you noticed he was replaced with a familiar face. 

Leonard. 

He took your face into his hands and pressed his mouth to yours roughly, letting it escalate as you responded immediately. You made out for a while before he pulled away.

“I’m in love with you,” he slurred, caressing your cheek. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you replied, grabbing his hand and stumbling out from the bar. You had found a small pawn shop that was selling stolen jewelry, but you and Leonard didn’t care. You quickly bought the rings and rushed over to a small place that resembled the Little Vegas Chapel, and you were married. It had gotten a little heated on your way out, so you both ran to the nearest resort and booked a room. You both stumbled in, kicking off your shoes. You were kissing again, and Leonard was fumbling for your zipper as you crawled onto the bed. His hands roamed over your body, resting dangerously over your ass-

You snapped yourself out of your reverie as the memories trickled in, heat blooming in your face. 

“Oh my god,” you breathed, eyes flicking back down to the ring on your left hand. 

“Did you just...” Leonard’s voice caused you to freeze as you turned around, ring in plain sight. His eyes zeroed onto it, slowly moving from his hand to yours over and over again. “Oh no.”

By now, you had attracted the attention of most of the bridge crew, all eyes on you and Leonard. He suddenly grabbed your hand and practically dragged you into the turbolift, pausing it as it started to move. 

“[y/n], I’m so sorry,” was the first thing he said, surprising you. 

“For what?” you asked. “I’m not mad about this.”

“You’re not?” he looked at you quizzically. “[y/n] we got married and we haven’t even had our first date yet. I took advantage of you-”

“No, you didn’t,” you insisted, placing your hand on his arm. “Len, what happened the other night; I wanted it. I wanted you. Drunk or not.”

He seemed to loosen up a bit, but he was still tense.

“Okay,” he said slowly, smiling lightly. “I wanted it too, but we still have this marriage problem..”

“Don’t worry about that,” you smirked cheekily. “I quite like being Mrs. McCoy.”

He returned your sly grin, sending chills up your arms. “Do you now?”

Your smile faltered a little at the predatory look in his eyes, adrenaline and excitement raising the hairs on your arms. He ran his hands up your body, resting them on your cheeks as he pulled you in for a sweet kiss.

He pulled away too quickly for your liking, eyes boring into yours. 

“I quite like it too.”

[abnormal-angel]

Summary of My Favorite Quotes from the Enty Podcast (3/11):

Hey, I’m going to have to splice up the podcast audio because it is too long as is for Tumblr. I’ll try and do that tonight. But, I transcribed my favorite parts yesterday so I’ll post those for now. 

I bolded the comments by Enty I enjoyed the most and put my comments in (parentheses) and italized. If nothing else this is a good refresher for the timeline of these two, her and JJ, and the Fatih of it all ;) 

Enjoy!

-----

"Diane Kruger is an interesting story to me. And she is probably, she and Norman Reedus, are probably the #1 request I get...And it's, I don't know, it's the same. You know? Norman cheats, she forgives. She cheats, he doesn't care. That's kind of the thing."

(I still maintain this isn’t any real type of relationship. I mean he obviously is getting it a lot of other places besides her, meaning she just doesn’t do it for him, even in the bedroom. She just sticks arounf like the girl who hooked up with a guy and now is there every night watching him ignore her and flirt with everyone else in the room. Take the hint d. It is pretty pathetic, especially at this point.)

"I've never heard that they fight a lot. I think that they just...don't care. You know? Maybe they're just... Their apathetic, that's a good word.”

(That’s because he never wanted this to be serious or last this long. It is like two strangers sitting together at a table.)

[Talks about her ex-husband and their relationship]

[Talks about her and Joshua, more just friends than in love and there was overlap between Joshua and her ex-husband]

[Norman has let it slip that there is nothing "kinky" about Diane] 

(aka boring as fuck in bed lol! Let’s be real the man loves sex and I bet he enjoys mixing it up a bit at times, she obviously doesn’t fulfill him. I bet she just lays there lol!)

"Norman will have sex with anybody. He'll make the moves on anybody. And obviously, this is something Diane wanted... It happened Dec 2015, that's when the first inkling of it came up. And of course, she was still with Joshua at that time. And this totally makes sense, the story went that Norman and Diane were tipsy and he was on whiskey, she was on vodka, and they were making out in front of everybody. That totally sounds like every single Norman Reedus hookup ever! Okay? I've been writing Norman Reedus tips and they are all exactly the same. Comic con... drunk, go back to the hotel room, have sex, repeat the next day. That's his thing.

So when you hear the story and they’re in the bar and their drunk, I totally get it. There you know what happened. I 100% believe that's what happened and I think that perhaps Diane thought then maybe there was more to it or something? [he giggles at the thought] So, yeah they made out. Then she got him into a chair and she's straddling him. Which would lead you to believe that maybe things with Joshua aren't that great..."

(So again he was three sheets to the wind and that was the only reason she got him to make out with her. I go back to what I was told about on lookers saying he looked very uncomfortable when she was straddling him. So I have to wonder if his whiskey buzz had worn off by then and he wondered wtf he had just done.

And yeah she probably thought he would worship her ass and she would have him in the palm of her hand. But, I guess she really doesn’t know who he is and that to him this act wasn’t a serious thing. She legit was in his mind probably equivalent to a one night stand. Although Enty didn’t say anything about them leaving together and if I remember correctly he left alone not long after she straddled him and made an ass out of them both.)

[Talk about how awful she looked in this situation because she hadn't put it out there that she and Joshua had split when she was seen making out with Norman. She looks awful and "Norman doesn't care..."]

(He didn’t care because she wasn’t anything he was very interested in and it was a one time thing in his mind. Also remember when he heard she lied to him about not being with JJ anymore he ghosted her and pimp Fabienne had to pull him back in with a work related excuse.)

"Now she had said in an April 2016 article that she had never met Norman before filming Sky. She said, "We share a lot of intimate scenes and I was scared about meeting him and not being able to have a drink with him or talk with him." and "I would not recommend having your better half on set, when you have to film intimate scenes with another man," she said. I think that they were filming the movie, they start hooking up, and Joshua visits the set and he can see.”

(Funny drinking with him is the first thing that comes to mind before even talking to him! lol! Her only love besides herself is the bottle!)

(Also this is where I personally disagree. I do not think they hooked up on set. I think she tried several times but after she lied to him that trust for her was gone with him. Also, he had to have seen she was trying to latch onto him and not wanting anything serious I doubt he would be messing around with her when she was following him around like a puppy.  But, that’s my opinion.)

“The weird part was you had this happen in Dec 2015. But Diane and Josh didn't announce their split until July 2016. So 8 months after the fact. So what you had was everybody just blasting Diane Kruger for 8 months. And hurting Pacey, everybody loves Pacey. Nobody likes Diane Kruger. They don't have an emotional attachment to Diane Kruger...”

(”Nobody likes Diane Kruger.” - HAHAHA! Ain’t that the truth! Because she is a cold-hearted b*tch to everyone!)

“Over the time of the blog I've down 75 photos of Diane Kruger..75 pictures. She's maybe, maybe, wearing jeans in 2 of them. And I think it took me a decade to see her in a pair of jeans. I always thought about her who cared more about herself and fashion than anything else. And that Joshua was more like an accessory that had to be there. Much like a handbag or a pair of sunglasses...I think Joshua was always an accessory. And then Norman Reedus became that luxury item that you splurge on and break the bank with. And that's kind of what she wanted and Norman's that kind of guy for it.

(Well she certainly broke her career chasing after a man who didn’t want her!)

(I love the accessory comment because it really is true. When she was with JJ I always could tell she really only loved being with him for the camera and media attention. Norman is the very same thing to her, nothing more than her meal ticket to have an excuse to be in the media because otherwise no one cares about her or her career. She is a user.)

"Let's go back to 'Everybody Likes Pacey.'... Everybody in general public likes Pacey and Diane let herself be hammered for 7 or 8 months, 'homewrecker, homewrecker, homewrecker!" And what did they say about Norman Reedus? "Eh, It's Norman." So who's taking the brunt? Diane. Who's getting the sympathy votes? Joshua...

Anyway. She said about it in an interview in 2017 about why they waited until July of 2016. She says, "That break up was a long time coming. Also, we broke up many months before we said we were broken up, so by the time I made that decision it didn't feel like it was so urgent anymore. You don't break up overnight after 10 years, you know what I mean? It wasn't like an urgent, 'omg I can't sleep at night thing,' It felt liberating that I didn't have to worry about that anymore. So that I could immerse myself 100% into something else. That something else was the German language movie, "In the Fade."" Hmmm! "A role she won best actress at Canne's film festival in May."

“Okay. So, do you think that In the Fade coincided with that first time that she got pregnant? Right? So, maybe Diane was seeing Norman but he was seeing 50 other people. So, Diane and the director of In the Fade! 

(I heard she has had a few abortions, not miscarriages btw)

And Diane of course... This is how bad she is at this. By letting herself get hammered for 7 or 8 months... After 8 months of letting herself get hammered, she finally tries to get her friends to blame Josh, claiming he messed around for years and holding her career back because he was jealous. [sighs] Pacey doesn't have anything to be jealous about and Joshua Jackson can work all day long... But he was holding her back and he was jealous? She was working all the time. I don't think he was holding her back. The thing is she's never gonna be an A list actress, it's just not in the cards for her. People don't like her and now they like her less. Her cue scores are terrible!”

(She is never going to be an A list celeb. If she was meant to she would be by now. All she has ever been is a mediocre nobody who has to use men to get media attention.)

[Talks about Joshua's team saying she cheated and she was ruthlessly obsessed with her career over the relationship.]

"And again, I think that she... You can't tell everything about someone by the way someone dresses. But when you're seen at any kind of casual place and you're the one person who's wearing a chanel suit or a chanel dress, when everyone else is in shorts and flip flops or jeans and sneakers, and it happens all the time! It just gives everybody the impression that 'oh she thinks she is so much better than us.' And in Diane's case, she does think she's better than everybody. And maybe she is! I'm not saying she's not. 

I'm just not a huge fan of Diane Kruger. And I don't know a lot of people who are!

(My favorite line of the whole podcast lmao! SO TRUE!)

"And when they say, 'oh her friends,' I thought to myself what friends does she have? She doesn't. She has some guy friends. And I suppose they could have stuck up for her. But, she doesn't. Go look. Go back and find older pictures of her and see if you can find pictures of her hugging other women at parties or something. Maybe a co-star she's hugging on the red carpet that she's just filmed with and you'll never see her with that actress again. She's just not very loved..."

"She's hooking up with Norman but Norman's hooking up with 55 other people."

"They were totally platonic, they were separated... She was just, there." (Art exhibit Dec 2016)

Feb 2016 - garage pap pics

(with Fatih also through this time)

March 2017 - pap walk from hell

"I'm not saying she reads the site. But, I will say a lot of publicists read the site. Whenever I have a blind about Diane Kruger and like Norman hooking up with a co-star, that he hooks up with from time to time or regularly or frequently. Whenever I write something like that, remarkably, magically she will have some kind of post, usually within hours, but always by the next day, where she's facetiming him or an instagram post talking about how much in love they are. It's always like that. You never see those posts from her until there's something negative written and then the next day boom it's there!"

(It is a definite pattern for her! She basically ignores him unless someone starts questioning her rag fake storyline of “romance.” So contrived and she is so predictable!)

"So they had their child in November of 2018. So if you backtrack that she would have gotten pregnant in what? February? January? Something like that... So, let's say they were together from December 2017 and started trying to have the baby... There is that time though were you can definitely make the case that she was with the in the fade director. And I wonder, because there are plenty of rumors, that Norman Reedus, that he got a vasectomy. Because he's having so much sex with the comic con people right? And condoms break. And he didn't want to have 50 kids running all over, dressed as Walking Dead characters. So I've always wondered I don't know chemicals or something, it's possible. Plus she's 42 and she had a miscarriage before. Which is to be expected when you're having a baby and your over 40."

(She was with Fatih most of November and nearly all of December 2017. She barely saw Norman except in Costa when she was told to bring friends because he wasn’t hanging with her. So, being that cold to her I doubt they were screwing.)

(Also remember that article saying in March of 2018 she was seen in that warehouse district with Fatih? That was right after she trolled baby bump on the set of The Operative. If she was pregnant with Norman’s kid why would she be meeting up in secret with Fatih?)

(I also have always believed he was snipped. He enjoys himself too much not to be and have no accidental kids in 20 years since planned Mingus.)

"She's always been very private about the child...And here's the thing, she has never really been private about anything! You can always get her photo, right? Streets, red carpets, she'll do it all, met gala. She very, very, much wants to have her picture taken. She's that kind of actress who needs that publicity to stay relevant. Okay? Because she has to force herself out amongst it. She's not the type of person that the paparazzi gets all excited about. So she needs to push it. She needs to push where she is. She needs to do those kind of things.

Having a child of Norman Reedus and Diane Kruger, living in New York, you push that baby out in a stoller? You're gonna get some pictures. You're going to be in the tabloids every single day. And that's the kind of thing she needs to keep her career going at 42 years old... People are interested, it's more about Norman, but they want to know about this baby.

There is a lot of speculation that he is not the dad. Sperm wise or other. And the vasectomy thing, yes you can get them reversed. But it could be, has anybody's wondered, it could be perhaps that she doesn't want the child photographed. She has done her instagram thing, 'please do not like or retweet or anything like that about photos of the baby.' And I wonder if that's because the baby doesn't exactly look like Norman. So I want to know if she used a sperm donor. And I think that it's highly likely that she did. To me that makes more sense then him reversing a vasectomy.

(I definitely 1000% believe this kid is not his. Sperm donor or surrogate still makes most sense to me. And yeah why hide the baby? She is not private at all and LOVED trolling that this was his kid when it was in her womb - supposedly. So, why hide it now? She is lying about something with this kid and if it doesn’t look like him that would definitely explain it!)

He is a kind of guy who likes to have fun. You know? If they do end up splitting I think what you'll see is.. I wonder if he'll even, if... the true tell will be if he spends a lot of time on visits and things like that, if he's co-parenting, or if he just kind of fades away.”

“I think he thinks that she's trying to hang onto him. Which may very well be. Because since the time that she's been with Norman she makes much more news. She and Josh were kind of boring. But they were there and they were taking pictures all the time and they would get themselves out. But Norman's on a whole other level because so many people are fascinated with his life and the ins and outs of it and there are all these kinds of walking dead message boards... And like I said, I get the most requests for them out of anything.

(Norman isn’t wrong. She is desperate to hang onto him. But it has nothing to do with loving him and everything to do with loving the media attention.)

But it always is, when you have actresses and actors who always get their pictures taken but then all of a sudden become reluctant when it comes to the children and then you wonder, okay is this the real children?” 

(I think he meant is this the real parent.)

“And I don't understand Diane, because Norman doesn't seem her type really. He chain smokes, he drinks every night, he's always on the road, he loves comic cons. It doesn't seem as if the parental life is for him. Ya know? He will.. He loves going back to work! In Georgia, away, he knows that Diane's not coming down to Georgia. 

(No media attention in GA and she isn’t allowed to pap the set.)

He canceled a convention he was scheduled to attend because Diane basically made him. She doesn't like him meeting the female fans. She gets super jealous. And he likes meeting the female fans. And if she keeps trying to keep him from seeing stuff, it's not gonna work.

(What’s interesting to me is it seems like he let her semi tag along for years when she didn’t say anything or bother him about his hook ups. But lately she has been getting more and more jealous - probably because she knows he has lost all interest in her, which is why she trolled the pregnancy in the first place. But, she is going to wreck herself by doing this. It is obvious Norman loves his freedom and wants to be able to do whatever the fuck he wants. The more demanding she gets the more she will push him away. 

(p.s. fuck you for making him cancel a con, jealous bitch! If you were so comitted and in love with each other he wouldn’t prefer other women to you. Face reality and fug off!)

What's interesting is when Norman goes to these comic cons, he was still wanting to take pictures with everybody, every single female fan. He was, 'take a picture, take a picture, take a picture,' he doesn't care. Now though he doesn't want the photos taken, with Diane [being so jealous], because it interferes. Because then she gives him a hard time and then he can't go. The hooking up that goes on it's just, it's crazy.”

-----

Alright! That’s what I got! I don’t know if he is going to out more or not. He seemed like he wanted to dig around and see if he could find out if she had a sperm donor. I am still on the fence about her even carrying a kid! I also wanted to know a little more about the TH. So, I guess we will have to see if he outs more!

I’ll try and get the audio up soon after I splice it into parts!

[corpus-chorus]

A dev’s insight to tumblr’s updates

Alright guys. I’m sorry to make this long-ass discourse post when I’d really much rather just be doing my art reblogs and basking in my warm community, but I feel this needs to happen, because a lot of you may not be aware of what goes into updates like this.

To be clear - I’m not making any comment about the color change itself. It doesn’t actually bother me, seems kind of silly to flip a lid about when there’s plenty of extensions to fix it if you don’t like it, but I get the annoyance of having something familiar change into something that makes you uncomfortable, especially with no warning.

But then I started to see a bunch of rants on how shitty this update is when there were so many bugs that needed to be fixed instead, and I just need to take a moment to address app development in general, because y’all seem fairly misinformed about the whole thing.

So let’s get one thing straight - bug fixing is not easy.

Yeah, that sounds like a copout, doesn’t it?

But let’s talk about how bug fixing works, alright? Because there’s a couple of things we gotta look at when considering changes like this.

How much code is needed to fix the bug? Yeah, this one’s pretty straight forward, right? How many lines of code do the devs have to write to fix whatever’s broken? Except you’re forgetting the time it takes to find the bug in the first place. And this isn’t about popping into one file and looking through the lines until you see what’s broken. Bugs aren’t just typos. Bugs are NOT easy to find. Generally, if I’m working on a bug, and it takes me 4 days to fix, 3 of those days were probably spent just defining exactly where the bug came from and the places it exists. And that’s with me being super familiar with the codebase. If I didn’t already know that the core value displayed on the groupings page was coming from the hciReplacements inspector (out of 30-some inspectors), which is pulling data from the hagi, which is pulling and calculating data from the clip model, of which I know the exact layout, it probably would have taken me double or triple that time. And now, on top of that, what if the bug is an extreme edge case no one thought about when they built the core code? I might have to rewrite the entire functionality of the thing that pulls all that data, and holy hot hell is that gonna take some time.

How much QA effort is required? Contrary to popular belief, no, developers don’t just make bug fixes and immediately push them out to the app. It’s gotta be tested, usually by some sort of QA/QC team. And, fun fact, QA can take longer than the development did. Because the QA team is looking for EVERY POSSIBLE USE CASE of the exact thing you’re working on. Every single possible way a user might interact with that. That takes a skilled worker to think of all of those possible use cases (and spoiler alert, they’re human, so they still fuck up sometimes), and it takes them time to find them all.

But ON TOP of that, you also have a LOT of unexpected consequences to code changes. Maybe you just needed to update to cores count so that it’s the total cores on a node instead of total cores per processor, but you didn’t realize that another part of the code was assuming that value was cores per processor, and congrats, you’ve screwed the values all through the rest of the app.

And that’s just a data example. You can make critical errors if, say, you rename a value, and miss one of the places that value’s used, so now that value doesn’t exist in that specific scenario, and congratulations, you’ve actually caused your app to crash if the user follows a specific series of actions, and oops, looks like that set of actions wasn’t one QA thought of, so now users get to find it instead. You were just trying to fix a little data bug, and you’ve now broken the entire app. Good job.

How old is the codebase? Why is this important, you ask? Well, if you’re not in the industry, you may have never been introduced to the idea of “legacy code”. Legacy code is, to over-simplify, old code. It’s code that’s been around for a while. It’s code that dozens of people have had their hands in and is therefor a bit of a mess, no matter how hard you try to keep it clean, or how well organized your team is. Because maybe Eric built that one file really well to start with, and Suzy made some great additions to it, and Tom just made a few bug fixes, but he names variables a little differently, so Jason didn’t realize that the function he needed already existed when he went to build it a few months down the line, so now there’s two versions of the same thing, one used in one place, one used in another, and when Meredith goes to fix a bug related to it, she doesn’t realize she has to fix it both places, and wow, that is a bit of a mess, isn’t it?

The codebase I’m working in currently is about a year and a half old now, maybe a little more. When our first version was released, our codebase was 51,714 lines of code long. As of today, it is 357,932 lines long. With new features on the horizon, it will continue to grow, and the web of dependencies tangled through the codebase will get bigger and more complex. This is just a fact.

So keep in mind that that’s an app that’s about 1.5 years old. Tumblr was launched in, what, 2007 or something? That’s 11 years. 11 fucking years of coding, of dozens, if not hundreds, of people contributing to the codebase, in their own coding style, with their own knowledge levels. This is like if a team of 100 writers was working on a fic series for 11 years, and they didn’t all get to work together, and not everyone took notes. You’re gonna have plot holes. You’re gonna have inconsistencies. Shit’s gonna be messy.

And then there’s the pinnacle question. 

How much do the devs care? How much you wanna bet a lot of the devs on this site started out with a genuine passion for it? How many do you think worked long past the hours they were getting paid for just to make sure they were making something they could be proud of? How excited do you think it used to make them to release new features, and get to see it make people’s lives better?

When you care about a project, you think beyond the exact task you were given. You think about the impact every line of code you write is going to have. on the users. Because you want the users to enjoy the app. You want them to be happy with it. You want all the work you put into it to mean something.

When you care, you make less bugs. When you care, you don’t get lazy and just make temporary fixes. When you care, you put your heart and soul into your work.

How much heart and soul do you think the Tumblr devs want to put into this site at this point? When every single update, every single effort they put in, is met with criticism and hatred? When they’re told that nothing they do is ever good enough? How much do you think the devs care about getting everything perfect and on time and working themselves to tears on this site when they know damn well that the second they release an update, it’s going to be met with nothing but hatred and ignorant people treating them as if their hundred of hours of effort were stupid?

If I was a dev for this site, I’d hate my fucking job.

So let’s review. When you ask for bug fixes, I promise, there is someone on that team very concerned about addressing that bug fix. When you complain that tags are borked, or searching is shit, or whatever you get frustrated with that day, I promise, some dev is already working their tits off trying to find exactly what it’s going to take to fix that for you.

But understand that, that ask? That ask that might seem super simple and straight-forward to you from your comfortable couch? But it might take a team of devs working ungodly hours for months to be able to do. It might carry risks as high as accidentally deleting posts or banning blogs or breaking the entire bloody site. So they wanna spend some time and get that shit right so that you’re not stuck with something even worse than the bug they were fixing.

The people working on these bug fixes are human beings. We seem to remember that about everyone else in the goddamn world, but not the people who work tirelessly to give us the very site that we’re having these conversations on right now.

This update? Yeah, it might seem trivial to you. It might seem like they’re “wasting their time” with “stupid bullshit” when they could be fixing bugs.

But let me make it very clear. They’re trying to fix the bugs. They’re trying to stop the porn bots (and oh, fucking boy, I could make an entire post just about how insanely difficult that is, because some of you people seem to think the devs are fucking GODS or something). And maybe this update is stupid to you, but I can tell you right now, having this update right here is not the reason these things are not going to be fixed tomorrow. This is the frontend team making an aesthetic change - I promise it didn’t stop the backend team from their tireless work to fix the tags.

so tl;dr Fixing Tumblr’s bugs is not some simple, do-it-in-a-month, just-get-more-devs fix. And tearing into this release is doing nothing but reminding the probably very tired dev team that their work means absolutely dick to a large portion of ungrateful fucks on this site.

Complain about bugs. Tell Tumblr about their bugs. Make sure they know. And then sit the fuck down and wait - they’re fucking trying.

[neioo]

I’m graduating on Saturday so I decided to create a notable moment's bulleted list thing that ended up being 2k. It’s more of a diary thing, but it was fun to write, so I’m gonna post it here. Feel free to ignore or read haha

Notable Moments:

Freshman year fall semester: My IR professor asked if anyone knew what countries were involved in the Truman Doctrine. I raised my hand and said Turkey and Greece, knowing that answer because I wrote about the dumb fucking thing in my IB HL history final. She then proceeded to say: “No one in all my years of teaching has ever answered that question correctly.”

Freshman year spring semester: I had to take a course to fulfill my science requirement and decided to take this evolution class. On the first day of the class, the professor said that attendance and participation mattered and then proceeded to never take attendance/ask anyone’s names. I was shy and never spoke in class, but I made up for it by emailing the dude like all the time asking questions. One day in class, near the end of the semester, I decided to raise my hand to answer a question. He looked at me and said, “Yes, Maddie?” The rush of euphoria that he knew my name was unmatched. When it came time for finals he then sent me an email saying I didn’t have to take it and that I already got an A in the course. Thank you Dr. Fong. Also on one of the tests where there were multiple-choice answers he just had like. Italian jokes for choice d on every single question. Still have no idea what that was about.

Freshman year spring semester: I decided to check up on someone’s hetalia blog who I followed during high school and found out we were going to the same college. We then became friends asljfdafa

Freshman year spring semester: My roommate one day fainted in the bathroom and the on-campus medical place was closed so I decided that we should go to the hospital. Turns out she had brain bleeding so thank god we went. What stands out about this day however is that it was 0º outside without wind-chill, and when I was running back and forth from our dorm to the hospital I saw sorority girls outside in mini-skirts fucking chanting. 0º degrees!!! Also, my roommate ended up being okay haha

Freshman year summer: I will still never forgive my co-worker Steve at my summer job. I was working outside and then walked into the cafeteria and the bastard was playing “it’s a small world” over the radio and humming along. Who the fuck does that and is not a psychopath???

Sophomore year fall semester: Someone decided to check up on my hetalia blog after I was complaining about my Chinese homework and they found out we went to the same college. We then became friends too asldfkaf; Thanks hetalia

Sophomore year fall semester: So my freshman roommate, after the hospital incident, decided not to return back to my university in the fall, so I got assigned a random roommate. Well, multiple. The first one dropped out before the semester even started, the second one was my roommate for 3 days and then just left abruptly and left me her fridge, and then the third one showed up near the end of Fall semester. She was also never really in the room ever. Also the dorm was worse than my freshman one and faced a dumpster so fuck that place.

Sophomore year spring semester: This was now my fourth class with my German professor. We were getting closer. I somehow let it slip once I was writing/editing a story (AWH and DFU *coughs*). She gets excited and tells me I should show it to her. I do briefly, thinking this will be the last of this. (Spoiler: wait)

Sophomore year spring semester: I get an F in a class

Sophomore year summer: I do an immersion program in Beijing to better my Chinese where I was doing like 10 hours of work every day and Oh Boy™ where do I start:

I was in a class with two other people. We had three rotating professors and one one-on-one professor. We got one of the professors fired. 两个周老师 I’m sorry but you sucked

Also the professor we got fired, he was our speaking class’s professor, which all of us sucked at the most so that didn’t help. The class was intended to give us practical vocab, but because we were all beginners in Chinese it was really hard to remember words. To combat this we would chant some words as if we were in a cult. 护发素 （hùfàsù）and沐浴液 (Mùyù yè) shampoo and shower gel, we would chant often because it was all fourth tones. The professor picked up on this, and when my one classmate saw him for the last time, the professor looked at him from across the hall as he was packing up to leave, and said in a solemn voice to him “Mùyùyè.” Brain stumbled back to class in pure confusion.

Moving on, well you see, I’m a hetalia bitch. Turns out, there was going to be a hetalia only con in Shanghai while I was in China! Naturally, I decided I had to go. However, there were many obstacles I had to accomplish to get there, and at any given point anything could go horribly wrong.

First, I had to purchase the tickets for the actual event and to do such I had to enlist the help of one professor. Yeah, that was embarrassing. Also, there was a problem with the tickets, so she typed up a response that I was supposed to show to the con organizers when I got to the event.

Then, I had to purchase my train ticket. Thankfully, there was a place on campus at Peking University, so I found my way over there. I somehow managed to order both a going-out and return ticket without any English, and the high I felt after I left the store was unreal.

Two weeks later, it was time to go. After classes ended on Friday, I took my suitcase I brought with me and headed to the subway to navigate it by myself for the first time.

First, another important detail. I had no cell service. I was dumb and never got a cellphone plan, so I had no cell service at all until I got to my hotel room in Shanghai after a long subway ride/like 4+ hour train ride. Honestly, I forget it might have been longer.

After jamming myself into the subway for like an hour, I get to the train station, and I’m completely lost and have no idea where to go. By some miracle, I finally figure out I have to go upstairs and find my train and get on the stupid train

On the train, I sit next to some businesswoman. A stewardess comes by and I try to ask in Chinese if I need to show her my passport. She shakes her head. The businesswoman then compliments my Chinese and I try to sputter out a sentence to her. She then smiles and proceeds to speak perfect English.

Finally, late at night, I arrive in Shanghai. Still no wifi or cell service, mind you. I have to wait like an hour for a cab while illegal taxi drivers tried to prey on me, the only foreigner, to go with them

At like 1am I get to my hotel room. After connecting to the wifi, ready to settle down, my phone starts freaking out. My roommates living with me in China, my Chinese professor I was living with, and my parents were all wondering where the fuck I was and if I was okay. I had to reassure all of them. Turns out, I find out months later, my mom was having a nervous breakdown that I was dead. My dad had to call the fucking train company and keep asking and asking until he found someone who spoke English so they could tell him the status of my train. ^^;

Anyway, now it’s Saturday! And now I have to get to the hetalia con. I have the address and some pictures and the typed up note from my professor. First, the cab driver proceeds to drop me off at the wrong location. I wandered around like a lost idiot, wondering if I would ever make it, when I spotted two girls about my age. I followed them and by some miracle, they were going to the hetalia con too

By this point, I am drenched in sweat. It was 100º. I get into the building and see a bunch of girls my age all dressed up in cosplay. I had to awkwardly walk up to one of the event organizers who was dressed up as England and attempt to speak to her. I was the only white foreigner there, and naturally, some people were looking at me strangely, which I understand. After I showed her the note from my professor, though, the very nice girl lightly touched my back and handed me a ticket to get inside. I still kind of have a crush on her

Okay, finally, I’m inside. And there’s rochu merch everywhere. You bet your ass I buy a fuck ton of rochu merch. I am great at pointing at things I want and forking over money. People are still looking at me strangely.

I leave feeling victorious. A year later, when I join a Chinese tumblr-esque website called LOFTER, I post a selfie of myself with my finished hetalia fanfic series. I then have people proceed to tell me they RECOGNIZED ME from the hetalia con in Shanghai

I then managed to get back to Beijing on Sunday without dying. I had to wait like 2 hours for a cab

Hetalia haunted me throughout this study abroad like at a party one dude asked if I liked hetalia because aph America was on my phone case, and like dude, I was trying to seem like a normal person there, fuck you

Junior year fall semester: Probably one of my hardest semesters for the sheer amount of essays I had to write every weekend. My computer also decided to break during finals. It also broke during finals spring semester freshman year and fall semester sophomore year. I wish I was joking

Junior year spring semester: I decided to study abroad in South Korea. Things to note:

I had this one class about Korean history. I barely paid attention in this class; mostly I used it to do the readings for the class so I wouldn’t have to do it at home or edit my hetalia fics. Sometimes, the professor would write things down on the board, though, so whenever he did that, I would quickly jot the information down. Fast-forward, one day, the professor asks a question that I know he wrote down on the board last class. I have the information! Since no one else is raising their hand, I decide to do it and answer the question. He then nods and says, “Very good. Did anyone else know that answer?” He was met with silence. “No one? Only her?” Silence. He then proceeds to yell at the rest of the class for five straight minutes while I sat there like o_o. Once he calmed down he asked me to repeat my answer, told me “I’m glad you were being diligent,” and then went back to teaching. The following classes he would smile at me while I would sit there and wonder what dumb fucking luck led me to getting on his good side.

My professor for my Korean government class asked to talk with me after class about my paper and she bought me a “vanilla cookie bubble tea” and that thing was fucking God-like. I treated myself to it all the weeks following asdkfjlafa

The first week I came to Seoul there were no classes. I had no idea what to do with myself. My host mom offhandedly mentioned the first day I moved in that there was a mountain nearby that you could climb. I then proceeded to climb that mountain the following day, completely not expecting to climb it. I just found some like 60 year-old-Korean tourists and followed them and suddenly I was literally like scaling a mountain in a dress.

A Korean guy who I constantly had to friend-zone took me to the North Korea border one time for a day trip, and I was utterly baffled by the theme park that was there. My mom also freaked out about me supposedly going to North Korea and randomly texted me at one point asking where i was. I had to awkwardly inform her that I was in class.

I learned no Korean in Korea and was petrified at going to restaurants by myself. One day, though, I finally gathered up the courage and used my shitty ability to read the alphabet to order bulgogi. It took me repeating myself 3 times but finally, the waiter understood what I wanted and a rush of euphoria surged through me in that moment

Senior year fall semester: I was somehow coerced into showing my German professor my hetalia fanfic again, and she then actually read WDWW and is working on showing it to a German film director she knows ^^;;;

Senior year spring semester: I got an internship that led to me finally seeing the inside of the Japanese Ambassador’s residence I walked by every day, so that was really cool! I then proceeded to have a conversation with a lovely older Chinese man, who interviewed me the day prior (and didn’t give me the internship T__T) about my hetalia fanfic, because he wanted a fiction writing sample from me and that’s what I had so I sent it, and it was just really odd.

Said internship also caused me to be on a float in a parade which was exhausting

 I also saw the Fruist Basket premier in theaters, which is a goddamn highlight

And despite the F I got sophomore year I’m now graduating with honors :-)

[ohmcrvel]

Good Luck With Her

Good Luck With Her  Pt 1 Pt 2

masterlist

Hello Loves 💖! IM BACK OMG ! So I’ve been trying to get rid of my writing block for months now and apparently my writing block has come out of tumblr and is now on wattpad so I’ll probably not be updating on there for a while ( sorry neve)! I hope you enjoy this story and if possible please go check out my wattpad @wckdseb and give my stories some love ! Love you guys eternally! Also happy birthday to the love of my life Sebastian, you’ve helped me through the days I thought I should give up so I thank you more than I can ever explain.

-L ☕️

Summary : people say long distance relationships are hard, you would definitely agree, and after your boyfriend of 10 years cheats on you, you are left wondering if that crush on your team member Bucky was actually just your subconscious telling you where your heart actually belongs.

Note: This is a product of months of writing block, my ex cheating on me, and the amazing song Cardi b Thru your Phone

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, avengers x reader

Warnings: I haven’t written in ages this is shit! angst, a lottttt of swearing, cheating ass dicks, fluff, mentions of sex/sexual activities

———————————————

people say long distance relationships are hard, you would definitely agree. You have been with you boyfriend Daniel, ‘Dan’, ever since you were both just silly seventeen-year-olds begging to leave high school together as soon as possible so your adventures could begin but now, that adventure was coming to an abrupt end.

Throughout your nearly 10 year on and off relationship you’ve both been told “your not experiencing the world”, “how do you know you truly love each other” and “ she’ll/he’ll cheat on you when you’re not around.” And many more horrible things but you two didn’t let that stop your love.

That didn’t mean you two didn’t end it sometimes , their was that 3 year break for uni (minus the drunken hookups) so you too could discover yourself, their was the 2 years you did work experience at a marine biology research lab, where he ended up becoming a security guard without even knowing you worked there and that was where you gained your powers and were being helped by you boss so you couldn’t just leave. Don’t forget their was all the blind dates you were set up on which every time turned out to be him, so it just felt like you could never escape each other so the relationship carried on, but now, 4 years later, it’s even more complicated.

After a freak accident in you lab one night you were ‘blessed’ with the ability to control the element of water, that wasn’t in the description of your marine biology degree though, your boss whose wife was born with a similar gift offered to help you and later was the one who introduced you to the one and only nick fury after your powers needed a more professional approach.

So here you are now, 10 years later from once being seventeen, sat around a marble table surrounded by a team of superhero’s eating spaghetti like six-year-olds and everything seemed good, but not for long.

Last week was your high school best friend Jenny’s birthday party but sadly you were too busy with a mission to go, so instead of the 15 hours plane ride straight after a 3 day mission in Russia your other best friend Neveah sent videos and photos of parts of the night so you could see what you were missing. As everyone talked and laughed you placed your phone in you hand with a on EarPod in one ear smiling at all you high school friends dancing and smiling at the camera saying stupid jokes about you throughout, your laughs soon caught the attention of the team who ended up watching your drunk friends with you laughing along, but the laughter was soon cut short by Sam yelling,

“what the fuck is he doing!” He screams angrily as he grabs your phone pausing the video and zooming in, Bucky and Wanda had gone over to look at what he was yelling at and soon Wandas eyes turned ruby red and Buckys fists clenched

“I’m going to fucking kill him.” His voice turned cold and his eyes swirling with rage.

While everyone was trying to calm the three down you managed to get your phone back and your eyes raced across the screen only to be greeted by your boyfriend making out with Jenny, your best friend. Suddenly everything in your life went silent and you lost all ability to function, your body fell back into your chair and the glass of water in your other hand smashed against the tiled floor, you hastily scurried up to your feet and pushed your way through the teams bodies, you began hurrying into the corridor to your bedroom, faint shouts of your name were blocked out by what you think were your tears as your wooden door slammed shut and your body slid down it .

“Miss (y/l/n), you’re in distress, shall I get help.” F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice broke the tear-filled air.

“No...no F.R.I.D.A.Y don’t le- don’t let anybody in, please.” Your voice no longer cheerful but now breaking and blocked by tears and as you hand shook your now tear stained cheeks glowed in the screen light and your weak fingers scrolled through your contacts to find that dicks name.

You lifted yourself of the ground and placed yourself on the bed as your phone dialled, your friends waited outside the door, Bucky angrily pacing down the corridor as his anger boiled up inside, while everyone just waited to hear him pick up, and well, he did.

“Hey (y/n) ! I just got back from a shift you alri-“Dan’s cheerful voice was soon cut off by a loud sob.

“Ho- how could you.” Pain and hurt was all Bucky and everyone else could hear in your voice as they sat in the corridor snooping into the conversation like teens, wanting to make sure that asshole didn’t hurt you even more.

“Babe wha-“ Bucky scoffed at his nickname, you always hated being called that but you put up with it for him.

“Don’t fucking call me that.” You snapped back at him.

“Okay okay, (y/n) I just need you to calm down I think you having another anxiety attack.” He pleaded with innocence, nearly causing Nat to jump on a plane to snap his neck.

“I’m not having an anxiety attack you dickshit! This is just the effects of finding out your boyfriend of TEN FUCKING YEARS HAS BEEN NECKING ON WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND” you screamed down the phone as the speaker button flickered white in the darkness, all the pain in your heart begin pouring out like a waterfall.

“Babe...I um...I” Lost for words was all anybody would describe what was happening right and it wasn’t good.

“So now you’re lost for words? Bet you’ve been saying a lot of nice shit to Jenny haven’t you? Oh wait your tongue has been too busy down her fucking throat.” Tony couldn’t help silently chuckle at his gals response, he’d taught her well when it comes to dealing with assholes.

“It’s not like that, you don’t understand.” He pleaded, wanting her just to breathe and let him explain.

“Then fucking explain it to me Daniel! Enlighten me with your amazing knowledge.” Sarcasm dripping towards the end of your sentence as you began sorting through your wardrobe and throwing all his hoodies and gifts he gave you onto the floor so that every trace of him was no longer in your life.

“ i know I know I just don’t know where to begin.” Dans head was full of confusion on how you found out but that wasn’t a good enough reason.

“Where to begin ? Maybe begin by telling me if this was a one time thing or have you been fucking my best friend since we were seventeen.” Your heart was rapidly beating with fear and anxiety as you wondered if your whole relationship had been one massive coverup and lie, you wanted to sound scary and intimidating but every time you spoke your voice just turned into a sob of tears.

“It’s been going on for nearly 4 years” and that’s when your heart fully broke and the team sat out side all look at each other in shock at disgust.

“4 years, 4 bloody years.” You whispered as you hastily grabbed and sat in your chair, looking out at the New York skyline as the room began to spin.

“So you’re telling me that you, Daniel River Fucking Brown was cheating on me with my best friend when I was kidnapped by FUCKING HYDRA!” You voice was more filled with sadness than anything as you hand slammed into your table knocking over the picture frame of you too at prom, the whole team heard the shatter of glass and Bucky was so tempted to go in there and wrap in his arms until this nightmare ended.

The memories of the beginning of those four years hurt more then anything due to the fact after the first couple months you joined the avengers your powers had increased beyond belief, you could now control all the elements and were commonly known by the world as Gardien du Ciel or Sky Guardian and it caused you to became a high priority for hydra, and soon you became their prisoner for nearly a year after they took you while you were on your way to visit Dan for your anniversary.

“Yes, yes I am.” His voice was soft and quite now, like he was embarrassed or something.

“After you were taken I was messed up, I was already struggling without you by my side while you were in New York but now you could never come back due to Hydra And i was struggling to live” the whole team brewed with anger as he tried to play victim without even knowing that they already knew the whole truth.

“One night a couple of months after you were taken I got into really bad place, and Jenny came round when she thought something was wrong because I missed work. We ended up talking for hours everyday for weeks and one night one thing lead to another and it’s been happening ever since, she just wanted to comfort me.” He hastily finished explaining like he just wanted this conversation to be over because he couldn’t be bother to keep lying.

“Bullshit.” Was all you responded with

“What.” He questioned with slight anger

“It’s a bullshit excuse, that’s what that is, the whole time i was taken I know you did jack shit, you never called my team when I missed are anniversary dinner, Tony had to call you to tell you I was missing and he was on the other side of the world! My friends told me how you went partying every Saturday like usual, they told me you never came to the searches and light ceremonies they held, you did fucking nothing Daniel! The people I was captured by showed me the news reports and you were never there Daniel! You never were, and I’m tired of pretending like it didn’t hurt!” You could hear your heart breaking through every word as the flashbacks of those 11 months tortured your brain.

“I just couldn’t deal with it.” Was all he responded with

“And you think I could ? You think I was doing just fine getting tortured and abused? Because I wasn’t !” This whole event finally made you realise that you haven’t even been in love with this asshole these pass 4 years and you were tired of faking it.

“I know (y/n) I know !” His voice full of anger now like you were the one in the wrong

“How the fuck would you know? You didn’t even see me in hospital after I was rescued? Bucky was the first one there and was by my side every night through the coma and after while you where partying and fucking Jenny!” Your heart flutter at the memories of hearing his voice everyday until you woke up from that coma and he smiled at the fact you remembered he was even there.

“Oh god don’t bring Bucky Into this.” He groaned with disrespect

“What on earth is that suppose to mean.” You snapped back with disgust

“You know what I mean (y/n), the whole time you’ve been at that tower I’ve seen and heard the way you felt about him” Dans voice was laced in hate with every word he spoke while the team all seemed to look a Bucky with “we all already knew” looks while his face was full of shock.

“Daniel we talked about this last time I was in London, I told you about me feelings for bucky because I wanted their to be trust in are relationship, but I guess you don’t know what trust is, and i think these past 4 years of me growing to love that man was my heart and subconscious telling me that I don’t love your stupid ass at all and I just need my best friend and the man I’m Truly in love with as the guy by my side not the guy who I fucked at prom and only lasted five fucking seconds.” And with that final comment your hung up, falling back into the bed you just cried yourself asleep, not knowing that your team had just heard the whole thing, including Bucky hearing your confession of liking him.

Pt 2 coming tomorrow 💞💞

[maiji]

“If you could pick 5 members to be on your team in the dark tournament, who would it be?”

So while I was going back through my archives trying to see if I had any incorrectly flagged content (I scrolled all the way to 2015, found three, and gave up/went to bed lol), I kept getting distracted and rereading old posts out of amusement. One of them was this 21 Questions Yu Yu Hakusho meme - and one question in particular made the gears of my brain clank so I thought hey, why not? Let’s answer it.

I'm going to tackle this question from two angles.

A) If I could pick ANY characters in Yu Yu Hakusho to form a team.

B) If I could only pick characters who appear during the actual Dark Tournament.

As soon as you see my first list, you'll understand why I was like, “oh.” and opted to do it again from B lmao.

(Oh yeah my tags spoil everything but oh well. Hope the rationale makes up for it hahaha)

VERSION A: Fun times

Raizen.

I'm sorry, the tournament is over now, thank you for coming. Seriously though, he's Yusuke with a million times more firepower and brains/experience. Also, one of the appeals of Yusuke is that he makes fighting fun, which is why everyone wants to go up against him. Raizen's friends express the exact same sentiment repeatedly. Raizen in his prime in battle would be a sight to see. He'd be all DID SOMEBODY SAY FIGHTING?? YEAH I'LL FIGHT ALL THE FIGHTS WAHOO and nobody would be able to get him off the arena platform. If there is an arena platform left. Or an arena. Or anything.

Enki.

Jolly uncle/all-round good dude, I love him. He also loves fighting, so he is also lots of fun. He seems much more cool-headed and practical than Raizen, and definitely takes the lead in coordinating the rest of Raizen's pals. Thus, he's a great wingman for Raizen. If you somehow actually manage to defeat Raizen- haha, what am I talking about? OK, if Raizen slept in or something, then you can fight Enki. And in that case the tournament is still over.

Kokou.

LOVES FIGHTING AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS. Even Enki was relieved he didn't have to face her. I firmly believe after Raizen she's the strongest - or at least one of the strongest - out of all of Raizen's already insanely powerful friends. Honestly, between Raizen and Kokou they'd probably just take everybody down, including each other, and have a blast. 

My perfect noodle husband Hokushin.

Obviously no one is surprised at this pick on my blog. Also loves fighting, plus super duper reliable, he's perfect support for anything. Along with Enki, he'd help temper Raizen and Kokou's wild party. And somebody needs to clean up after all the mess and make sure everybody gets first aid and whatever. Well, first aid for the other team they just massacred, I guess.

One more Raizen friend: Natsume.

We could put another one of Raizen's friends here, but I pick Natsume because we know a lot more about her and she's so badass and we should have more women. Also, because she's very clearly another great mashup of LOVES FIGHTING and NOT STUPID, as a fifth member, she can easily step in to fill any of the others' shoes, whether it's happily beat the crap out of everything in sight or be calm and strategize. If anybody ever actually needed to be filled in for some reason.

I call this amazingness Team Old People. IMO this team is flawless because they would just be so damn entertaining on so many levels. You have five extremely powerful and smart warriors with centuries of experience who have nothing to prove aside from sheer enjoyment of battle. Every one of them has expressed a passion for fighting because it's simply a joy for them, which means they wouldn't be playing it safe/boring. Seeing a master in action at practically anything is awesome, and not only that but they’d be willing to experiment and take risks and do things that are out there. A tournament is also a form of entertainment for the audience (both the real life audience and the one in the show), and that combined with their expert level combat skills means that I think they'd be so fantastic to watch. And all of them have distinct personalities that balance "I am an ancient demon with wisdom and stuff" VS "I love punching people (or getting punched) in the face!!" in different enough ways that they still offer really interesting character dynamics and interaction opportunities. And they would also be incredibly supportive of each other while still allowing for plenty of snark.

That said, FUN FUN FUN aside, the very obvious problem with this team is that they seriously break the question. And everything else. Even if they don’t intend to flat out obliterate everything, that’s what would probably happen, and that unfortunately can easily head towards its own kind of boring. Everyone would be like "why are we having a tournament, we're going home". So, we must leave Team Old People behind and move on to version B.

VERSION B: Serious business

Dark Tournament characters only. I will exclude members of the Toguro Team from my selection for obvious reasons. NO MORE FUN TIME. This is me pretending that I'm some rich underworld dude or whatever putting together a team I'm betting on to get through the tournament. You're going to see a clear pattern emerging from my picks.

Genkai.

The veteran. Intelligent, experienced, very powerful and pragmatic. I'd shell out big bucks to get her to come back to be my team's captain. No question for me, she's a must, even if all she does is sit on the sidelines and coach the rest of the team. With a group of serious, motivated and talented fighters, she'd be the best mentor and my team would be well-positioned to MAKE ME LOTS OF MONEY SO IN YOUR SMOKY SCARRED FACE SAKYO

Hiei.

Those who know me may find it shocking that I'm including Hiei but not Yusuke, Kuwabara, or Kurama. Hiei doesn't appear on my tumblr very often, and of the four main characters he's probably the one I'm least emotionally invested in. But if you're assembling a team for the Dark Tournament, you're IN IT TO WIN IT!! And Hiei is the best bet. I shall explain.

Hiei is efficient and effective, and his success ratio is the highest out of all Urameshi Team members - the most number of individual fights without a single loss or draw. Granted, he sits out for a chunk of the tournament, but he rarely appears worn out at the end of a fight. The only time he overexerts himself is against Zeru; after his recovery, he never seems to break a sweat. Even against Bui, he had no real issues. From a betting perspective, his odds are very, very good. Kuwabara and Kurama both experience multiple losses - Kuwabara often because he's young and overconfident or becomes so personally involved that he cares more for a positive outcome for other people than for winning; Kurama often because (as Hiei notes) he tends to overcalculate the situation and draw things out so long figuring everything out that it turns into a disadvantage. Yusuke's very strong and has huge potential, but he's also focused far too much on the experience. This makes his battles fun to watch but would give a strategist heart attacks. Many of his fights involve near-misses or less-than-ideal situations stemming from amateur errors. And finally, he gets dinged with a draw in his match with Jin, in part because his dawdling on the field made the deception feasible. Yusuke's great for drama and storytelling, not great for the comfort of my pocketbook. Having him on a team is risky when I know the other underworld bosses I'm competing against are not above using underhanded tactics.

As a result, based on a purely practical evaluation, Hiei is the most reliable choice. He's very focused on, and very good at, the one thing I want - DEFEAT THE OPPONENT UNEQUIVOCALLY. He comes in and tears people apart and there's no chance of an ambiguous referee call. He just needs his team members to be people he can respect to keep him in line. With Genkai as captain, that shouldn't be an issue. Nor with the rest of my picks.

Ryo (Kai in the anime) / M-3.

This is the Dr. Ichigaki member with the invisible claw powers. After their fight, he offers to be a replacement for the seriously injured Kuwabara (Yusuke appreciates it but has to turn him down because it's against the rules unless Kuwabara actually dies). He seems to be the strongest of the three students who were brainwashed by Ichigaki, and without Genkai's intervention and his own struggling against Ichigaki's mechanism, he would very likely have wiped out Kuwabara and Yusuke. He's extremely serious and dedicated, and with someone like Genkai steering the helm I think he'd go far. I'd be comfortable putting money on him. I also like him a lot and wish he had more involvement in the story - I've always felt that if Togashi didn’t need to get Koenma in for story purposes Yusuke hadn't been so freaked out and completely lost mentally when Genkai died, he probably would've asked Ryo to be the replacement fifth member. SOMEONE WRITE THIS

Touya.

Stronger than Gama, less arrogant than Risho, more reliable than Jin (who has many of the same problems as Yusuke), and Bakken sucks and will never be considered by anybody. Touya's powers are also very flexible. Somebody just needs to tell him to NOT TALK TO HIS OPPONENT. Don't talk to them, don't listen to them, don't let them distract you, don't let them get into your head, JUST GET IN THERE AND EYE ON THE PRIZE AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM OKAY lol. I also think when Genkai was training everyone for Kurama, Touya was probably the one who gave her the least hard time. I mean, out of Touya, Jin, Chuu, Rinku, Suzuki and Shishiwakamaru who do YOU think would bellyache the least? I thought so.

The fifth member is actually a backup/alternate who doesn't necessarily see action (if you recall, this is why Chuu was mad). For my final pick, I took a while to decide, so I'll tell you about both of the last two people I was considering since I enjoy any excuse to talk about characters I don’t usually see mentioned.

5a is Zeru. 

OK, partly I considered him because nobody remembers him lmao - he was Hiei's first victory, obliterated into a shadow by Hiei's training-wheels Kokuryuuha. But if you look at my other picks, I think you'll appreciate why he's on my radar - he fits the profile of what I'm looking for very nicely. I want someone in control of themselves; who is a reliable, consistent, focused fighter unlikely to get distracted by other things; who clearly demonstrates power and is committed and has potential to grow really fast with the right direction/team captain. The only thing is that with Hiei already on the team, this may be duplicating the skillset and the mental profile a bit too much. And I think it's clear Hiei already has the upperhand in baseline power. So,

5b is Suzuki. 

His strength isn't fighting. It's his ingenuity in adapting, augmenting, and outfitting his team members with really good, really creative tools. He's honestly more a tinkerer and an inventor, imaginatively tweaking things to be even more useful, and whenever he realizes and accepts this about himself instead of trying to be just another fighter in the limelight, he'll be rich lmao. Anyways, this skill makes him a hugely valuable asset. I don't need him to be in the ring, I'm fine having him support with cool gadgets to amplify the rest of the team.

I HOPE YOU LIKED MY PICKS lol

[kz-i-co]

No Harm

Request: "Hi I just recently found out Tumblr page and I love your writing. I was hoping to make a one shot request on monsta x wonho. Where y/N is being bullied by him but he bullies her because he likes her. Thank you in advance✨💕."

Pairing: Shin Hoseok/ Lee Hoseok (Wonho)/ Reader

Genre: fluff

Words: 5.9k

A/N: I hope this is okay anon- I was in the mood for a summer camping vibe king of story so I used your request for it :)

m.list  ╫ mx masterlist

You smiled seeing the clock strike 4:30. It was the last class of the last day of your freshman year of college and you couldn't wait to start your summer vacation.

You entered your dorm and immediately started packing your bags. "You excited to go home?" Your roommate asked.

"Yes, I can't wait to dive into my pool when I get home." You jumped in your sneaks.

"Sounds like fun, at least you only have to drive a half hour." She pouted.

"I know, I'm sorry." You felt guilty. Joy had to travel 3 hours just to get home. That was rough. You liked your roommate and couldn't wait to see her in a few months but you werent close enough to hang out all the time, especially on break.

You were in the greatest mood that nothing could ruin it. You blasted out your favorite tropical tunes, with the windows open, letting the wind wipe your hair annoyingly in your face, but you didn't care.

You even stopped for fast good on the way home because it's been forever since you had a decent meal. College food was good but it was the same choices.

Once you got home, you noticed a truck out front with the garage door open. You began to question what was going on and then you figured your mother was probably having another one of her episodes and need to clean out the house once again. She hated cluster and had to change future every now and then. It used to drive you crazy but it's been a while since you've been home so still nothing was killing your mood.

As soon as you got inside, you heard your brother's voice. Your first thought was, 'why was he here?', but then you remembered your mother needed a strong male to help her with her spring cleaning or whatever she liked to call it.

You entered the kitchen and saw your sweet ol' big brother and then your eyes made contact with him. You said nothing could kill your mood but now you stand corrected. You were in a bad mood precisely.

He made eye contact with you and smirked. "Hey (Y/N)'s home." He hit your brother to point you out.

"Hey." Shownu came over and gave you a big bear hug. "I missed you." You smiled. You missed your brother but you didn't miss the lingering leech behind him.

"Did you miss me?" He came up to you.

"Let me think? No Wonho, I didn't." You sassed.

"You guys are the same." Shownu rolled his eyes amused.

"I'm sure you did." He smirked again as he leaned down and whispered to you.

"I didn't....maybe if you leave for a long time then I'll change my mind."

"(Y/N)! That is so rude, apologize." Your mother joined the conversation.

Wonho stared at you amused and you pouted like a little child. "I'm so sorry....dick." You mumbled the last part.

Wonho was the only one that heard you and looked at you amused. He was a jerk and you couldn't stand even being around him.

"Okay man, I'll talk to you later." He high fived Wonho.

"Bye shorty." He ruffled with your hair as he passed and you just gave him a sarcastic smile.

"You getting rid of stuff again?" You asked.

"I'm redecorating." She said and went upstairs.

"Anyway, how was school?" Shownu asked.

"Fine." You shrugged. "Glad it's over...for now." You huffed.

"Hey remember those camping trips dad used to take us on?" He asked.

"Yeah." You opened the fridge.

"I was thinking maybe we could bring back the tradition?"

Your father used to take you camping the week after school ended for the summer. It was always the best time you ever had but unfortunately he passed away 6 years ago so life has been dull. Your father was always the adventurous one and the fun one. Your mother is more of the stay at home introvert.

"Come on, it will be fun."

"Just the two of us?" You asked.

"Well maybe you could bring some of your friends......and I'll bring some of mine, and Eunji maybe." He said.

"Okay....which friends are you thinking?" You asked intrigued.

"Not sure....Minhyuk is pretty handy with a tent."

You tried not to make your blush obvious. You had a crush on Minhyuk for a while now and you intended to keep it a secret, especially from your brother.

"Let me text them." He got out his phone and made it out of the kitchen.

-

It's a been a few days since you enjoyed your summer vacation and you spent most of the hours in the pool or sun bathing.

"Is your brother bringing the boo's?" Arin asked laying next to you.

"I don't know but he better." You laughed. You were beyond excited and you got one more friend to join you.

"Who is your brother taking?"

"He said Minhyuk and Jooheon are coming and also his girlfriend and her sister and that's all."

"Are his friends hot?" She asked.

"Yes." It was clear that all his friends were attractive, even the one you hated.

"Especially Minhyuk."

"You still crushing on him?" She asked amused.

"Hell yes." You had no shame when it came towards your friends.

"What about his muscular friend? Is that one Jooheon?" She asked.

"Jooheon is the one with the dimples." You haven't seen Joonheon in a while so you weren't sure with the one she was talking about.

"Oh no, not him, the one who had blond hair, has adorable ears." Oh god no. She's talking about Wonho.

"No." You said in disgust. "He isn't coming thank god." Your brother already told you he had to work. You felt instant relief.

"What's wrong?"

"I hate him."

"Why?" She laughed.

"He's an ass."

"But he's hot."

"I don't care." You took off your sunglasses and dived back into the pool.

"Ever think that maybe he likes you?" She smirked.

"Nope." You leaned back floating on the water.

"He might?" She just shrugged with a smile.

Wonho was very attractive, you didn't deny that but too bad his horrible personality got in the way.

-

It was the day you were leaving and you were upstairs with your two friends packing for the week.

"So where are we going?" Arin asked.

"Leahigh waterfalls....it's So beautiful." You smiled. "Out of all the places my dad took me, that one was his favorite."

"I heard of it, but never been."

"Trust me, you'll love it." You were just about done.

"So what's the plan?" Jane asked.

"My brother and his friends are getting the alcohol and other drinks and I said we would bring snacks and other types of junk....he has a cooler full of different foods for dinne and stuff."

"Do we have to pee outside?" Jane asked. She was very girly.

"Last time I went they had an outhouse?"

"Okay." She still looked disgusted.

"Lets go." You went down to the car.

"Please don't drink to much." Your mother said as you packed the car.

"No worries."

-

"Oh wow....how beautiful." You parked right outside of the waterfall.

You forgotten how beautiful it was.

"Look the boys are here and they are getting the tents up." Jane pointed.

You saw Shownu setting up the third tent. There was 4 in total.

"Hey ladies." Minhyuk greeted as soon as you stepped out of the car.

"Hi." You blushed.

"(Y/N) long time no see." He leaned in to give you a friendly hug.

"Yeah."

"How's school?"

"Schools school." You smiled with a shrug.

"I bet." He gave you a warm smile. "Here let me get that for you."

He took your bag for you and you grabbed the bag with snacks and started walking side by side with him.

You brushed your hair behind your ear nervously. Minhyuk always made you feel that way, he was just so sweet and gentle.

"Hey shorty." You heard a familiar voice and you looked up seeing who it was.

You felt like someone just stabbed you with a knife. You saw the boy step out of the tent and was waving in your direction.

You couldn't even speak. What the fuck was he doing here?

"Shownu." You ran over to your brother in a quick pace.

"Hey I missed you-" You grabbed him. "What is he doing here?" You mumbled.

"He got off of work so he wanted to come."

"Why?"

"What's wrong, you guys are always acquainted with each other." Your brother clearly didn't see your true feelings. He thought is was all friendly teasing, but it wasn't.

"No, we arent."

Minhyuk was by your side now. "We haven't decided on sleeping arrangements yet." He said as he put your bag near the others.

"Thank you." You sweetly smiled.

Wonho noticed you being all sweet with Minhyuk and he rolled his eyes. He walked over to you guys and put his arm around you.

"You want to help me get firewood?" He said and you immediately pushed his arm off.

"Not really." He groaned.

"Come on, it will be fun, I'm up for a little hike." Minhyuk smiled.

"Okay." You answered sweetly and followed Minhyuk.

Wonho watched you and glare as you fell for his charm. "Why does she hate me so much?"

"She doesn't hate you, my sister is brutally honest, trust me." Shownu said.

"I guess she is." Wonho could read you perfectly.

"Hey Jane, Arin want to help me build this last tent?" Shownu asked your friends.

"Okay."

....

"Wonho, you ready?" Minhyuk asked as he lingered behind.

"Yeah."

"Can I come, I love to look around."

"Jihyun, hey." Minhyuk greeted. "This is Eunji's sister."

You smiled genuinely. You never met her but you heard she was really nice.

"This place is so beautiful, there is this beautiful bridge above the-" She walked off with Minhyuk and you just stood there in agony.

"Come on pal." Wonho put his arm around you again.

"Can you not, please." You pushed him away and started walking back.

"Where are you going it's this way." He grabbed your hand.

You were in a bad mood now. "I dont want to go now."

"Why because your boyfriend walked away from you." He said in an annoying mocking voice.

"Will you get a life." You snapped.

"I'm sorry, please help me." He begged.

"Fine." You walked back the other way.

It was an awkward silence and you had no idea where Minhyuk and Jihyun even went. You walked up to the hill that was on the top of the water fall. It was the same as you remember. It brought you back memories of your dad.

"Where does that lead?" Wonho asked as you saw a path in the woods.

"I don't know, I never been in there."

"Come on." He grabbed your hand.

"I don't know-"

"It will be cool."

"And what if we get lost dipwad." You insulted.

He suddenly turned towards you and leaned forward. "Stop being a downer."

He looked at you too close that it made you feel uncomfortable.

You pushed him away. "I wouldn't be a downer if I was somewhere else you werent."

"Why are you so hostile?" He walked backwards in front of you.

"You know Why?"

"I don't."

"Are you kidding me?" You glared.

"What?"

"You're a dick, that's why?"

He laughed. "How?"

"You're an idiot."

"Okay, I'm sorry, it's just fun."

"Because you're a heartless pig." You ended the conversation.

He stoped in his tracts as you kept going. You looked around and it seemed that you were in some abandoned garden and there was a small stone ruin that looked to be a house centuries ago.

"Wow." You smiled at how beautiful it was. You have never seen a ruin up close before. The middle of the garden had an old water fountain with green moss grown all around it.

"That house gives me the creeps." Wonho said.

"What do you mean?" You were still looking around in amazement.

"Looks like something from blair witch."

"Shut up, does not." You sat down on the stone bench. There were a few carvings of names written into it.

"Aww, these names are in a heart."

"Cute." Wonho said sarcastically.

"Look." You saw something inside the torn house and walked inside.

"Come on, why go in there?" He whined.

The house didn't have anything to it but there was a staircase that led to the back and there was a table and chairs set. As you tried to step through the door way, your foot got stuck between twigs and thrones.

You groaned trying to get your foot out. You held onto the door and tried pulling harder and you fell backwards but your foot was still caught. As you were about to dreadfully call Wonho's name he already made eye contact with and came over as quickly as possible.

He looked at you concerned. A look you never seen on him before. "Are you hurt?" He asked sweetly.

"My foots stuck." You whined.

"Okay hold on." He kneeled down and moved the thrones around. It was too tight that he had to pull his pocket knife out and cut you free. Even though you were release you still had your shoelaces all knoted with more twigs.

"Here, let's go back and get you cleaned up." He smiled.

He grabbed your hand and he had to help you jump over the entrance of the door, so you wouldn't get stuck again. You were surprised when he carried you in his arms and helped you sit on the bench.

He kneeled in front of you and fixed your shoe to get all the spikes out. You couldn't help but stare as he gently worked on your foot. You have never seen this side of him before. You liked it. For once he didn't tease you like he normally does. Especially at a time like this. No jokes about being stuck or anything.

"You have a few scratches, so we'll get you patched up." He got up. "Lets get out of here before you disturb the peace." There it was.

"Thank you." You shyly said.

He looked at you serious. "Anytime."

....

Once you got back closer to camp, you helped gather firewood.

"Where have you two been?" Shownu asked.

"Exploring." Wonho said. You noticed Minhyuk look towards you and Jihyun was right by his side.

"Hey, we lost you." Minhyuk smiled.

"That's okay, I found some cool garden." You smiled.

"Cool, maybe you can show me, some time." He caused you to blush once more and Wonho to roll his eyes. He threw down the firewood in the pit and walked the farthest away from you. You were so focused with Minhyuk you didn't notice.

"You hungry, we were about to make lunch."

"Starving." You smiled and followed him to the pit to sit down.

Kihyun came over and hooked his phone to a portable speaker and began to play music. Your brother handed you the plate of food.

"That tree has a rope hooked up so we can swing into the stream." Arin sat next to you.

"Forget that, we can jump off the ledge at the top of the waterfall." Jihyun sat on the other side of Minhyuk and you felt your fingers grip your plate tightly.

"That's a great idea." Minhyuk agreed.

How were you suppose to compete with her? She was beautiful, adventurous, friendly, taller. This started to becoming the worst vacation ever.

As you watched Minhyuk and Jihyun engaged into another conversation, your mind actually started thinking about Wonho. Not that you wanted to but everyone was sitting and eating while he wasnt.

After you finished your food, you got up wandered to one of the tents. You saw Wonho laying down, playing with his phone.

"Hey." You kicked his foot. "Foods ready." He didn't look at you.

"Did you hear me?" You ducked inside the tent and stood above him. "Food is ready." He finally looked at you.

"I'll eat later."

"You can't because between my brother and Jooheon, there will be nothing left."

"Then whatever." He shrugged.

"Why are you being a snape all of a sudden?"

"I'm not....wait did you say snape?"

"I did, now get up." You gently tapped his side with your foot.

"Make me." He challenged.

You groaned and stepped over him and took both of his hands and pulled to try to get him up. You honestly didn't even know why you were even trying. Was he worth it?

He barely made an progress as you tried to pull him. He was just watching you amused. Once you weren't focused he pulled you down, so you fell right on top of him.

Your heart fluttered from being so close and you quickly moved to get up. "Okay, I won't make you."

You nervously left his tent and went back to the group. The little progress you had worked since you saw him come over to the group.

"We are not wasting all the beer on tonight, just to let you know." Shownu said.

"Come on." Jihyun got up with her sister.

"Where are they going?" You asked.

"We're going swimming." Shownu started walking with everyone to get their bathing suits on.

"Come on (Y/N)." Jane pulled you away.

....

"So any progress with Minhyuk?" Jane asked you.

"Minhyuk? I've only seen her with Wonho." Arin teased.

You scrunched up your face in annoyance. "That girl Jihyun keeps pulling him away from me and Wonho won't leave me alone."

"Because Wonho likes you, you idiot."

"He does not, he makes fun of me."

"Because he likes you." Jane joined in.

"Whatever, I only care in trying to get Minhyuk to notice me more then Shownu's sister but I can't with Jihyun."

"We'll distract her."

"Really?"

"Yes now hurry and get dressed."

....

"You look so hot in that suit, if that doesn't get Minhyuk then I don't know what will." Arin spoke.

"Why are they hiding all the fun?" Jane asked as she noticed the boys all chit chatting and they were in their bathing suits but they still had shirts on.

"There he is, with no Jihyun around." Arin pushed you.

The first person to notice you three walking towards them was Wonho and his mouth was hanging open as he saw you.

"Fucking likes her." Arin whispered to Jane not letting you hear.

"Hey." You greeted nervously.

"Hey, you're ready." Minhyuk said and you started walking with him. Wonho watched as he stared at you walking away and he turned to join you until Arin stopped him.

"Hey Wonho, you look great, how many bench presses do you Do?" She said to get his attention. He just looked at her confused and Jane noticed the other girls walk out of the tent. Jane immediately went over to them and start chatting up.

"You want to go first?" Minhyuk asked you as he held the rope.

You held onto it but too scared to jump. Minhyuk pulled off his shirt to get ready himself.

"I'm not sure if I can."

"Here, it's easy." He stood behind you and you felt his body rub up against yours as he held the rope around you. "You have to have a good grip and then you jump and then jump off as soon as you hit the water."

You nodded. "You go first, so I can watch you."

He laughed and took the rope off your hands. "Ready?"

Then he jumped and swung across, landing perfectly in the water. You smiled seeing him rise up again from the water. "You can do it." He yelled to you.

You grabbed the rope and jumped just like he did and let go right into the water. "That was scary." You pouted.

"You did great." He smiled. He laughed cutely at you as he leaned in closer. Your heart was beating like crazy and you began to shut your eyes ready.

"You have a leaf in your hair." You opened your eyes once again and saw him with the leaf in his hand. That was why he leaned forward. You felt like you were having a mental break down. He didn't want to kiss you, he only saw you as a friend, worse a friends little sister and nothing more.

He broke your thought by splashing you. "Up for another round?"

"Sure." You said sadly. You both got out of the water and this time he had you take the rope first and you did with no troubles. Once you rose again in the water you saw Jihyun talking to him. She pointed to the top of the water fall and began following her up there.

"(Y/N) Come on." He said as he continued with her.

You felt like dying. You got out of the water and put on a pull over shirt and you walked up the water fall. You stopped as you notice a small cave before it and went inside. It was beautiful. You saw the inside of the water fall and you immediately felt peace. You finally felt tears begin to fall. Useless tears that shouldn't even be happening.

Maybe your crush on Minhyuk should just expire. He didn't like you anyway and you gave up trying to impress him.

"You okay?" You heard a familiar voice.

"I'm fantastic." You lied.

"Are you?" His voice was soft.

"What do you want Wonho....I think I rather be alone." You snapped.

"I saw you upset and crawl into this cave by yourself so sorry if I care."

"Maybe you shouldn't." You shrugged.

"You can't let him get to you like this, it's either you tell him how you feel or move on."

"What are talking about?" You played dumb.

"Really?" He looked at you unamused. "Oh Minhyuk, let's go for a hike together and run off into the sunset." He did in a mocking tone.

"I don't sound like that." You folded your arms with anger.

"That was a perfect impression of you."

"Was not."

"You're right." He stood by you mysteriously. "Good job." He patted your shoulder a little harder then usual and you lost your balance falling off the small cliff behind the waterfall straight into the water.

You rose from the water and looked up from where you were standing and saw a laughing Wonho.

"You fucking asshole." You whined.

"My bad."

"You better get down here." You argued.

"You going to make me?" He smirked.

"I will kill you in your sleep." You glared.

He took off his shirt and you stared at his toned body. "Oh my god." You mumbled to yourself. He jumped off the cliff right into the water. You waited patiently for him to rise up and once he did you jumped on him trying to drown him.

"Hey." He splashed you.

"Asshole."

"It made you smile." He said.

You felt it. You didnt even realize at first that you were smiling. "Only because I have plans to get rid of you."

"Okay." He brushed off. "This can be our spot." He said.

"Why would I want a spot with you?"

"Because." He just said and moved in closer to you.

You felt his hand grab your hip and pulled you forward. You were too stunned to even move and you didn't understand why. You seen him starting to lean forward and you found yourself closing your eyes once again. But this time you felt the lips touch yours.

The kiss was slow and gentle, the total opposite of the boy in front of you. The kiss got deeper in seconds and you found yourself working against his. You felt his hips aligned with yours and his roaming hands all over you. The butterflies were unbelievable and you didn't know what was happening.

You snapped back into reality and pulled away immensely. "I'm sorry." You swam away and quickly got out of the water. You grabbed your things and went over to the showers that were a little down the road.

"What was I thinking?" You leaned against the shower wall.

How were you going to face him now?

You finished up and as you were heading back you passed Jihyun and Eunji. "How are the showers?" They asked.

"Oh um...they're okay." You shrugged.

It was almost dark out by this point and once you got back the fire was going. "Hey you....I feel like I always lose you?" Minhyuk greeted as he saw you.

"I don't know what you mean." You laughed with no meaning.

Maybe if Jihyun wouldn't block our view it would be a beautiful sunset.

"Want to help me bring over the cases." Beer? You could really use one, and you hated beer funny enough.

"I never got you alone enough to talk to you." He laughed. "It's been a while since I've seen you (Y/N) and I was just telling your brother how beautiful you've become."

You looked at him stunned.

"Not that you weren't before, you just changed a lot, in a good way." He smiled sweetly.

"Thank you."

"Also, you and Wonho are cute together."

"Wait What? Me and Wonho." Your mouth hug open.

"Yeah."

"We aren't together." You said quickly.

"Really? You guys act like a couple." He shrugged.

"No just friends, not even more like acquaintances."

"Really, you act close."

"We aren't close." You made it more clear.

Those words just spit out from your dear old self not even thinking back what happened an hour ago. To be honest your lips still trembled from feeling his lips on yours. Nope, snap out of it, your enemies remember.

"Okay then." He just laughed.

Shownu got a lot of drinks, not just beer but different types of alcohol, girly drinks some people say like Smirnoff.

"Since you are free all summer I hope, we can hang out more if you like, I'm a pretty fun person."

"Im very aware Minhyuk." You giggled. "Sounds fun."

When you got back to the camp you noticed Wonho notice you. He didn't look at you with an special emotion, not a smirk, smile, nothing. You instantly felt guilt. You ran away from him when he was vulnerable and that left a bad impression.

You decided to shrug it off. And lucky enough Jihyun was talking up a storm with your friends so you got to talk to Minhyuk a little. Your circle of friends came more interesting as everyone was telling their round of ghost stories.

Kihyun was in the middle of the scariest story of the night and poor Jooheon was so focused that he didn't even notice Wonho sneak up behind him. The timing was right as Kihyun hesitated from an instance climax and Wonho made the move and jumped right next to Jooheon scaring the pants off of him. He was crawled up on the ground and looked up as everyone was laughing.

"You guys suck, this is why I didn't want to go." He whined.

"You're too easy man." Wonho sat back down next to him. He wasn't letting you ruin his night which was clear.

You didn't even realize how many bottles you were drinking that you were already buzzed. Shownu gave a limit of 3 drinks so you could save some for the other two nights but you were already on bottle 6.

Now everyone was past ghost stories and moved on to embarrassing stories. "Shownu remember that time, when you got locked out of the house and you had to break in and the neighbors saw you and called the cops." You laughed drunk. "Weren't you in your underwear?"

"Are you drunk?" He asked.

"I am not." You said bold.

"How many drinks did you have?"

"This is my third." You lied.

"There's no way....no more for you."

"You guys are so boring, let's have a real party." You got up and started moving to the music.

"Minhyuk do you want to dance? Wait you need to ask Jihyun for permission first Right?" You laughed.

Minhyuk looked at you confused while Jihyun looked at you guilty. "I hate that you are too nice Minhyuk and I hate you Jihyun for being so damn nice as well that I can't hate you even though I want to....did That make sense."

"(Y/N) maybe we should walk it off." Wonho stood up and held onto you.

"Wonho, you are so cute." You pinched his cheeks. "He's a good kisser to....You want him Jihyun? You want Minhyuk mine as well take Wonho to....take both guys away from me, you know you want to."

"(Y/N)." Shownu said.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so angry that all I do is get you to notice me and she just takes you away like a tornado....tornado." You laughed to yourself. "Do you notice me Wonho? Will you be taken away to?"

"I'm going to sober her up." Wonho looked at your brother.

"Why can't you be gay so I can just admire you in my dreams."

"Okay, enough of that."

He pulled you down to the shallow part of the stream. "Sit."

He had a bottle of water and handed it to you. "You have a big mouth when your drunk."

"You have a big....I don't know where I was going with this." You laughed.

"(Y/N) What did you mean about me being taken?"

"I thought that maybe you never want to see me again." You took a sip of your water.

"Why would you think That?"

"Because I blew you off."

"You didn't do anything......I was a little disappointed but." He shrugged.

"I know, I'm sorry you like a pathetic-"

"Shut up idiot." He interrupted. "Dont make this a sob story." He smiled.

"You are confusing me." You groaned. "I hate you and you make me want to rip my hair out but then I don't know I like how you are always there, as annoying as it can be."

He just blushed at your drunken words of truth. Drinking the whole bottle of water was already making you feel better.

"Why did you kiss me?"

He looked at you. "Because I like you idiot."

"Are you sure or are you just some horn dog."

He laughed. "I've liked you for a while (Y/N)."

"Then why are you such as asshole to me?"

"Because I rather have you being your true self then being all shy around me, like you are with Minhyuk."

"Maybe I've gotten a little far but I couldn't help it, I think your cute when your mad." He continued.

"Boys are stupid and confusing." You rubbed your sore head.

"I'm sorry, you don't feel the same way, but I'll get over it." He shrugged.

"How do you know I dont-" You slipped out.

"What?" He leaned closer to you.

"Nothing."

"You feel the same way?"

"I'm drunk I won't remember this." You brushed off.

"We've been sitting her for 20 minutes, you sobered up a lot since then.

"I don't remember how I feel, you surprised me."

"Do you want me to refresh your memory?" He was close enough you could feel his breath gently on your face.

"I um-" You couldn't speak. Your heart was beating like crazy. "Isn't this taking an advantage?"

"I'm giving you permission?" He smirked.

"But-"

"All you have to say is yes or no."

You wanted to say yes, drunk or not. You felt something in his kiss but you were too chicken to face it.

"I-" Before you could answer he brought his lips towards yours and it felt right. It felt comfortable. You didn't hesitate to respond to his and you felt him grab your neck, deepening the kiss. You felt butterflies as he brushed your bottom lip with his tongue for permission.

You granted assess to only let the kiss get deeper. His hand lingered down caressing your hip gently. Your hand wandered up his shirt feeling his toned chest. You had to pull away for some air and he gently rested his forehead against yours.

"You had that disgusting cranberry drink?" He laughed.

"That's my favorite." You pouted.

"Ew."

"Too bad." You leaned in to kiss him once again and you heard more screaming from Jooheon at the camp.

"We should get back." He pulled away.

"Yeah." He grabbed your hand and you both walked up to the camp together.

Everyone stared as you re-entered the camp. "Everything I said was a lie."

You smiled. "I don't hate you Jihyun, if anything I envy you."

"It's okay, I envy you, I've jealous that Wonho likes you." She likes Wonho? "Minhyuk and I been best friends for a long time, that's all."

"I'm so sorry." She hugged you from your apology.

"It's fine." She laughed.

"Are we ready for bed?" Jooheon asked sweetly. You could tell how shaken up he was. Now one will ever live it down that he's scared easily.

"So sleeping arrangements is me and Eunji." Shownu started.

"I hope you don't mind (Y/N) but Jihyun wants to sleep in our tent." Arin said. That was fine but it would just be a little crowded.

"You can sleep in my tent." Wonho could read your expression. "Just me and you." He whispered.

You gasped and hit him. "I'm not doing anything."

"I didn't say that, we can just talk about things, about us."

You blushed. "And make out." You hit him again while laughing.

"Okay, everyone good? Goodnight everyone." Shownu went into the tent with his girlfriend and you grabbed your bag and made your way into the tent with Wonho.

You looked at him in a whole different light. He was always attractive before but now everything was electrified. You couldn't help but smile as he set up the sleeping bags. He was too cute and you never thought you would look at him in that way.

"What?" He caught you staring.

You just shook it off.

"Where is your sleeping bag?" You looked out side of the tent and saw nothing.

"I must of forgotten it, in the car." You said.

"How inconvenient." He arched an eyebrow.

"Hold on let me go get-" You started to get up but he stopped you.

"It's a pretty heavy walk and it's pitch black."

"I'm not scared."

"Mine is big enough for the both of us." He smiled.

"Bold move Hoseok." You used his real name.

"I'm not hitting on you, it's just a waste of time when we could is it share mine." He shrugged.

"Okay." You pursed your lips.

You suddenly pulled off your shirt and your shorts leaving yourself in your underwear and a stunned Wonho.

You threw on one of your brother's old shirts as your pajamas. It was too hot to be sleeping in heavy clothes.

"Do you wear your clothes to bed?" You asked.

"I sleep nude." He smirked.

"Shut up, you do not."

He tugged off his shirt and shorts as well but stayed in his underwear. "For you I will make an exception."

He got into the sleeping bag and you stared at him before getting in yourself.

"Do you really sleep in the nude?"

"Ask me again in a few weeks, when you can sleep in my bed." He closed his eyes.

You felt butterflies. You faced away from him as you felt his bare chest behind you. You actually felt comfortable and didn't take you long to doze off into a deep slumber.

You began to grow excited for the future.

[survivor-mesopotamia]

Ep. #2 - “Shit ain’t over till the fat lady sings and I didn’t warm my pipes.” (Cameron)

Day 4: Well. I survived my first tribal council of the season, and even though it went exactly according to plan, while I slept my entire day away, I'm still really hesitant to tell myself that I'm doing well on my tribe. I'm really nervous that my tribe mates are playing me, and that I'm really boo boo tha fool here. I called Megan post-tribal, and I was finally able to get some closure on something that happened between us in our personal lives, which felt really good. After that, she asked me about the idol, to which I had responded "Wait, Julian didn't tell you?", which hopefully sows some seeds of doubt in Megan about Julian. Ideally, if the Enlil tribe has to go back to tribal council, the four of us can bear witness to a Megan vs. Julian war. Because unfortunately, the connections I have outside Enlil, are shared with either Julian or Megan. If Megan and Julian are going after each other pre-merge, or during a swap scenario, I don't have to share those connections anymore. After that, Megan and I just talked about the nudes we received during quarantine ~ I then promptly ran to Will to tell him about the potential crack I just formed between Julian and Megan, which was met with genuine excitement. I think I'm really gaining Will's trust, and I think we vibe so well together. Love that guy! Overall, it wasn't a very productive day because I woke up at 4:30p PST. Love that for me, thanks for shading me @ Tribal Bodhi.

going into this scavenger hunt as the tribe that went to tribal last is worrysome. It's a challenge that's fully dependent on our activity, so we are at a serious disadvantage against the other two tribes that get to choose someone less active to sit out. We don't have that luxury. The point/life system eases the blow, however, since we can get less active players 1 life while more active players can get 3. In case we lose, I'm trying to connect with everyone on the tribe. I really don't want to vote anyone out though. I have an alliance with Julian and JJ, and one with Will on the side. Chrissa wants to work with Julian, JJ and myself, and I think Megan and JJ have something on the side. I'm nervous for who would be the target in the vote, and any vote would hurt all of our games collectively. Hopefully we win because the next vote will not be easy AT ALL.

Done w typing this sheet

jj and zachary are so fucking annoying to this challenge and if i vote for you first at the swap, its probably because youre typing too much during this challenge sorry not sorry xoxo - sincerely johnny a month from now

let me be clear with andrew I was not calling his hosting unfair i was calling the fact that a majority green item giving him a point unfair not the hosting but lack of yellow, also i have a headache i don't feel that good. and I just don't think zach should have had a point for it nothing against hosting obviously i watch a movie trivia thing where literally they have a challenge to challenge any questions that are unfair, that doesn't mean they are calling the question writers or the answer writers unfair. 

Zach just won the tribal challenge for us which is fantastic. We can maintain the illusion of a unified tribe longer, which keeps us together in a swap situation, and Zach has clearly painted a challenge target on himself over the last two challenges which will make him go before me if our Triforce ever becomes the minority. I'm really happy with my position in the game right now

me and monty trying to find the idol and decode this annoying ass video https://imgur.com/a/lu7sbMu

Forgive me father for I have sinned it's been approximately three days since my last confession so far can't complain really we be winning they hating we be riding pretty damn clean I've got a majoritu alliance I didn't start so odds of it falling around me and being the first voted out slim to none thank the sweet baby jesis and all that good shit. Oh well that's all for now

JULIAN’S HOST CHAT GUEST, ZEE:

I am filling in a confessional because you told me to. I am in front of my fan because it's hot. I'm thinking that it seems pretty stupid to ask me for a confessional. Julian's prod chat isn't very interesting because he's distracted.

also just threw out madison's name to johnny. if this shit backfires on me ill be ):

https://youtu.be/Pqck1gayfJU

https://youtu.be/FMay7NycsPw

yo yo yo homies!!! fuck the scavenger hunt and the mobile Skype app !! Lowkey scared but I think I’m close with everyone on the tribe except madi soooooooooo that’s probably who will go tonight. I’ve connected a lot with Monty and am hoping we can work together closely moving forward 💕not sure how useful my relationship with Zach is going to be come swap/merge bc it seems like he’s ALREADY making himself a target like the big doof he is. More later 💋

https://youtu.be/Qg47yupj1bQ

https://youtu.be/vUK8A1qWVoA

Hello tumblr survivor world! Sorry I didnt confess for episode 1, I was going to but i accidentally exited out of the page when i almost finished writing it. Anyways, it was just a cast assessment for my tribe so tl;dr everyone on my tribe is great and its really sad that we have to vote someone out now. So this whole weekend I was away so I was REALLY worried that I would be voted out since I sat out of the challenge. But after talking to Johnny and Isabelle, it seems like Madison will be voted out tonight. Which is so bad bc this her first game in a year, but hey it's our first vote and it's not me so it's not really the time to make a stand. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Okay I took a break from writing this confessional and there's moreeeeeeeee so part 2 I guess. So I had a call with Johnny and we came up with an alliance of me, him, Isabelle, and Benji. What an iconic alliance, right? But also while Johnny and I talked we got onto the topic of idols and why it is that there hasn't been an idol post yet. I brought up that wayyyyyy back when in Malaysia and some other games around that time, some of the idol hunts were less clear cut. We ended up looking at the blog and clicking the "idol system" tab and it brought us to some weird crab video with audio that sounds like a pokemon cry? Idk part of me thinks its just a joke but I also have to consider that it might be SOMETHING. It said remember to like and subscribe so I sent a screenshot of me liking and subscribing to see if that would do anything but nope. Johnny said he'd do some thinking about it and get back to me later if he figures something out. Also tribal seems super clear cut so I'm a bit less worried now but y'know how it is I can't not worry about tribal.

i just spent $8 on a spectogram and STILL cant find this fucking idol im gonna kms... monty im sorry im steam rolling ahead looking for this thing without telling you, but thank you for the first clue xoxo... if i get stumped in the future ill reach out for SURE (but idt you trust me that much so this seems kinda valid to me) ((FOUR HOURS LATER: i told monty lololol)) ALSO FOR FUCKS SAKE I think madison is gonna go, and truthfully, im fine with it because it's the easiest thing to do due to her poor performance in the past few challenges and just being the least AROUND the tribe, but i know that it'd probably be better for me long term to get rid of abby because i just dont see her as a long term ally for me. i think she's close to JJ and Megan on the other tribe, and she's becoming much more acclimated to the tumblr survivor community that i just BET that she maybe has an additional connection on the rookie tribe. If I can attempt to break that up before we get to a swap, I think that's what im going to have to do figure out if we lose another challenge before a swap... i dont really want to see ANYBODY else go besides abby if im thinking about a second boot. i bet it wont be easy to take her out tho also, if madison goes, this is like...... lowkey vindication for game changers???? last night i talked about this with monty and i was like hmmmm "is it ugly to bring up past game history?" and his response was "not if it's within the same series" .... so. vindication

---

omg i just told madison how to find the idol system thing i hope she doesnt tell anyone i told her about it LMAO........ this almost seems too easy.i got added to two alliances today. why do i not feel safe? is it me going? WTF IS GOING ON

excited to be first boot because no one will TALK TO ME! 

Things haven’t changed much since my last confessional! As far as I know the tribe hasn’t started into alliances and we’re all riding some excitement at having so far avoided tribal. I think the rest of the tribe and I are all feeling good and just focusing on making the tribe switch without losing any members.

from round 2 https://youtu.be/fk002uG2HoI

Hi sorry I forgot to do a confessional this round so this will be short imma just say a few things 1. I don’t trust julian one bit he can stop being shady to me 2. I can’t believe we aren’t going to tribal I’m so fkn happy i was able to pull out the win for our tribe because I didn’t want to lose anybody else 3. I love and adore will with all of my being and he’s my number 1 ally right now 4. I find it highly doubtful that there’s only one idol in this game and that you can’t find it until merge but that’s as far as I can get in the idol search for now so I guess there’s nothing I can do about it 5. I’m still having fun can’t wait to fuck up another flash game yay!!!

My Purple edit is amazing right now. But having played more games than most of these newbies, I have decided to take on the role of teacher and becoming more of a "role model" for these newbies. I feel like I have the closest bond with Zach, and I need to get a little closer with Collin. I have Grace from past games, and then there are the others who I do not really have any strong bonds with at the moment. I guess I need to start going to them more and show that I want to work with them.

https://youtu.be/yhwXzqrTcsA Confessional 2 for round 2

https://youtu.be/TVnpwqc8XLY

Madison voted out 6-1

[sheepydraws]

I'll Kick Your Ass! I'll Kick My Fiancee's Ass! I'll Kick My Own Ass!(5/11)

Last Chapter 

Next Chapter

October

Facebook messenger:

Akane: I think I’m getting somewhere with Ryoga.

Ranma: Should you really be messaging me during class? Don’t you think I might be trying to pay attention?

Akane: You’re playing tetris, like you do every class, because you’re just that lame.

Ranma: And you are somehow taking notes and im-ing me, because you are just THAT lame.

Akane: It’s called multitasking. I’m earning a degree, and breaking off my engagement at the same time.

Ranma: So when is this guy gonna challenge me again? ‘Cause it’s getting too cold for this shit.

Akane: He’s coming along. He’s recovered physically, now I think he needs just another little confidence boost and he’ll be ready to go again.

Akane: I have a plan.

Ranma: I have to make a fool of myself, don’t I?

Akane: No. Just make a mess of your next challenge. Almost lose.

Ranma: You can’t see it, but I’m rolling my eyes.

Akane: You’re right. All I can see is the porn on your tumblr dash.

Ranma: I follow a lot of artists. It’s artistic nudity!!!

Akane: It’s tentabulges, Ranma.

Akane: Grow up and get ready to throw some fights

Genma’s phone———— > Ranma’s phone

Soun and I are coming for the

parent day thing to get my car

back.

                                                                                         Cool. I’ll tell everyone        

                                                                                         you’re my gay uncles.

No, you will not. I was thinking

we could spar. If you win you

get a cheat day.

                                                                                            You’re on.

Kuno’s phone——->Nabiki’s phone

Nabiki Tendo, are you the person

to whom I should submit my

desire to challenge Ranma?

                                                                                       I can tell you’re Kuno

                                                                                       but I have no idea how        

                                                                                       you got this number.

Sister. Has a friend who has a

friend.

Where do I submit?

                                                                                        At my feet.

You keep thr box is there?

                                                                                       Are you okay?

I go my head hit. Mmmask broke.

Remembered I had to tallk to YOU.

                                                                                       Where are you?

Health cenydr cengwe cen

                                                                                    Do you have a concussion?

                                                                                     Kuno?

Kodachi’s Journal:

My only brother!

Twisted as you are

I believed you to be impervious from harm

And guarded against deceit.

But it seems you are as many faced as a hindu god

Yet as weak as a mere mortal.

I have no words for what I’ve seen

or rather i am brimming with unsaid words

But you are deaf to them

(Cause you’re asleep. And I have to sit here at your desk and make sure you can wake up and it’s tedious as fuck and I should really get you to do something for me after this, once you explain why the fuck Nabiki Tendo was the one who told me you had hit your head again. I really can’t figure out how to make a poem about that. I mean, what the fuck? Why was she at the health center, her face all pinched and weird? Then she saw me and she was like, okay, this is everything I know about concussions cause my dad runs a dojo and blah blah blah and I had to sit there for like an hour as she explained everything that the nurse would then spend, like, another hour saying. AND I’VE ALREADY DONE THIS ONCE THIS YEAR. Why does it take so long to say, he needs to rest but not too much? UUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH)

My brother is not impervious without his helmet.

Without him I won’t be either.

Nabiki’s phone———->Ranma’s phone

Kuno may have a concussion, but

he wants to duel you.

                                                                                           Again???

I don’t fucking know. Now you’d be

dueling for Akane instead of his

sister’s honor or whatever, right?

                                                                                I mean, he must have a head

                                                                                injury if he wants to take me    .                                                                               again.

Dude…Shut up.

                                                                                            What?

I was scared, okay? Only for a

minute, but I was really

freaked out when he was

texting me gibberish.

Goddamnit, Tatewaki Kuno

is MINE. The only person

who gets to kill him is

ME.

                                                                                       Jesus christ, Nabiki.    .        .                                                                                      And you tell me I should  .                                                                                      get therapy.

You should.

                                                                               Bet we could get a group rate.

From: Prettyporkchop@gmail.com

To: TexmexTesco@gmail.com

Dear Ryoga,

You haven’t written in a while, is everything alright? You’re making friends, right? I mean, you’re not lonely, are you? You aren’t always great at being social. I know. I had to practically drag you out of the library and shove you into that booth at Ronnie’s for our first date. Of course, later, I really loved that unlike a lot of my friends boyfriends, you weren’t a skirt chaser. You never looked at another girl.

I totally botched the Creamfield bake-off. By the time the buzzer went off the only thing that was done was me. Three weeks of perfecting that custard and it didn’t set. The humidity, I suppose. Or maybe it was me. My cooking has gone completely off the rails. I can barely make a proper sponge turn out. It’s like I’ve been cursed.

Of course, this happens from time to time. I just hoe you’re doing better than me.

Best wishes,

Akari.

——I feel like I’m just missing/something whenever you leave/You’ve got all the ingredients/except you needing me

Mousse’s phone——> Shampoo’s phone

Are you really not going to come

home until Thanksgiving break?

                                                                                    Yes.

We’re literally an hour away.

I’ll make the drive.

                                                                Look. I have a boyfriend, and he’s going

                                                                 overseas for winter break, so I have to

                                                                 make the most of our weekends.

You? A boyfriend? That’s

rich.

                                                                                     So’s he. And British.

Oh, yeah, and I’ll never see him

because he’s always in England?

At least I don’t lie to you.

                                                                I’m not lying. I could ask him if he wants

                                                                 to come over for Thanksgiving break.

Sure. When he respectfully

declines you should consider

coming home this weekend.

Facebook Messenger:

Shampoo: Ryoga, I need you to text this number and say you would love to see us for Thanksgiving break, but you’re going to be in England.

Ryoga: But I won’t be. I have to stay with my mom upstate.

Shampoo: Sure. Say that. Hell, that’s more believable.

Ryoga: Wait, could I stay with you over the break?

Shampoo: No, you have to see your mom, remember? Why wouldn’t you want to see your mom?

Ryoga: We’ve never been close. Not in a bad way, she’s just never around. I don’t really know her.

Shampoo: Didn’t you come here to be closer to her? This is your chance!

Ryoga: Actually, I came here because…I don’t know. I was looking at college applications and Akari wanted us to go together, and I love Akari, but…

Shampoo: But you needed to bond with your mother!

Ryoga: No, I was thinking about how, when I was a kid my parents dragged me from here to kingdom come because of their jobs. Then they split and my dad took me to England. Then one day this girl kind of decided I was her boyfriend, and then she wanted to decide the rest of my life.

Ryoga: I felt like I had never chosen anything for myself. So I made the craziest decision I could. A choice no one would have made for me. That’s why I’m here.

Shampoo: Touching, riveting stuff, Ry-Ry. Really. You should write a book.

Shampoo: TEXT THE NUMBER.

To: Prettyporkchop@gmail.com

From: TexmexTesco@gmail.com

Dear Akari,

Of course there aren’t any other girls [deleted].

Akari, I would never cheat on you. I know you were being a little flippant in your last e-mail, but I’m serious. There are pretty girls here, of course. There are pretty girls from the end of Africa to the tip of Antartica, but I would never touch a single one if I was dating someone else.

I’m sorry to hear about the bake off. Maybe you should make something you never make so that even if it isn’t perfect you won’t be able to tell.

There was a lot of excitement here today. Long story short, one of my friends and her boyfriend [deleted] friend [deleted] and my roommate got thrown in a pond. It was terrifying. Everyone thought they were going to die, or catch pneumonia and then die.

I’ll tell you the whole story when we see each other over winter break. Sorry I won’t be home for the Thanksgiving break they’re giving us (can you imagine?) I want to spend it with my mom. We’ve really been getting on together.

See you soon

Ryoga

Akane’s Diary:

Today was…not a good day.

You’d think a day that ends curled up writing in your diary with someone’s head in your lap would be pretty decent, but so far this is the nicest thing that has happened.

Well, that and the fact that there were crepes at breakfast. You know how in Catcher in the Rye the school always served them steak before the parents showed up, so that if their parents asked what they had eaten for dinner last night they would say steak? Well damnit if it isn’t true. The food was fantastic today: roasted potatoes and cheesecake and chicken tenders and a beef roast. And a crepe bar.

It would have tasted a lot better if I hadn’t been panicking the entire time dad and Nabiki and I were eating lunch. Kuno and Ranma were going to duel at 1:45 (Kuno figured it was when the dining hall would be the most packed so no parents would catch them), and I had to make sure Ryoga showed up and saw Ranma slipping. I wonder if Kuno arranged for the duel to be today because he knew his father would be busy?

Anyway. So I’m sitting there wolfing down my potatoes and half listening to my dad tell me about how things are back home, when Genma Saotome plopped down at our table.

Plopped is not the right word for it. Genma is explosive. He plunks down, tossing his keys onto the table, where they smack into and almost topple my milk glass, then throws one arm over the back of his chair and places the other on the table, taking up as much space as humanly possible before he says, “ ‘Kane, do you know where Ranma is?”

I keep eating. Genma never figured out my deadname, or doesn’t remember it, or maybe just says ‘Kane because he thinks it will get a bigger rise out of me. I don’t know. But I don’t dignify taunts with a response.

Nabiki stabbed a bit of her roast and said, “I can’t imagine why you think Akane would know.”

“My car keys were on his bed-do any of you lock your doors?-but I can’t find him. I’ve been texting him and he knew we were coming, so he must be hiding.” Then Genma laughed that awful laugh of his. Super loud, but grating instead of infectious like a good loud laugh should be. “Scared to take on his old man. Can you imagine?”

“I’m sorry, dad,” I said, standing up and pushing my chair in, “Can you hang out with Nabiki for a bit? I told a friend of mine I would help him study.”

“Didn’t you just finish midterms?” My dad said with a sip of milk, “I thought that was why this was scheduled for today, so you wouldn’t be too worried about class.”

“Yeah, he thinks he really fucked up, so we were going to go over some stuff to calm him down. It shouldn’t take more than an hour.”

My dad shrugged. I call him pretty regularly, so it wasn’t like we had a ton of catching up to do. I think he really came to get Genma’s car back and seeing Nabiki and I was just a bonus. “Alright. I’ll be with Nabiki till dinner, then I’m leaving.”

Nabiki made an interesting face, which may have had something to do with all the contraband in her room, but I couldn’t help her. I had to run down to Ryoga’s room and tell him to watch the duel today.

“Isn’t this a re-run?” Ryoga asked, without looking up from his computer.

“That’s why I want to see it. I’ve heard Kuno intends to win this time.”

“Good for him.”

Obviously Ryoga did not see this as the rematch of the century, so I changed tracks. “Please do this with me, I need some time away from Ranma’s father.”

That got his attention. “Ranma’s father?”

“Yeah. He came down with my dad and is stuck to his side and he’s-“ I made vague hand gestures. I mean, there are words for Genma Saotome, but they are best barked in German, not whined in English.

Ryoga shrugged and stretched and looked around for his jacket. “I guess if you need a break that bad…This won’t take long right?”

“Nope.” I said, although I assumed it would be longer than the last couple of duels. If Ranma was going to fuck around and almost lose it would probably take a while to put on a good show.

Then again, I feel like Ranma has been dealing with these fights faster and faster the colder it gets. He does not like shivering.

We get to the expected spot by the lake and Ranma and Kuno are there, and they’ve decided to wait until two to start, since a lot of people apparently wanted to come to this one. I don’t know how Nabiki gets the word out about these things, but she sure does a good job of it.

Ranma kept checking the clock on his phone, then regretting it and stuffing his fingers back into his pockets.

Ryoga asked me if I was cold like five times, but I was staying warm making faces at Ranma, trying to convey how badly I wanted them to JUST START ALREADY. Ranma says I looked like I was trying not to sneeze.

Finally it was either two or Ranma was really sick of waiting, because he asked for someone to count down from three.

“Should only one of you have a sword?” I said before anyone could start counting.

Ranma gave me a cocky grin. “I can handle him, and his wood. Count us in, darlin’.”

Considering what happened later I feel pretty stupid for blushing at that.

As soon as I said ‘three’, Kuno lunged. He is not a subtle fighter. He refused to go on the defensive. To be fair, his sword did give him a much bigger reach, but it also gave Ranma some time to play up how weak he had gotten. He was slow and wobbly, barely dodging Kuno’s swings, and when he jumped out of the way he couldn’t stick his landings. He didn’t even try to attack, as though Kuno was too fast for him.

“Is he hungover again?” Ryoga whispered to me.

“I don’t think he’s been training.” I whispered back. It was hard to keep a straight face as I said that. I would bet my sister-hell, both of them-on Ranma running, stretching, and lifting weights everyday. Ranma doesn’t do cheat days, and he does not skip leg day.

But he was putting on a good performance, staying just ahead of Kuno, but close enough that even I thought he might lose.

Which meant Kuno thought that too, so he got even more reckless, and in one ill-timed swing and a well timed kick, he was down for the count.

“Goddamnit,” He said as he got up off the ground, “I came here to defend Miss Tendo’s honor. I think of her—“

“Is that the best you can do?”

I froze. Not that I wanted to hear Kuno talk about my porcelain flower or whatever weird metaphor he was about to get into, but I’d take him over Genma Saotome any day.

“Run home to mommy, you fucking pansy.” Genma said to Kuno as he took Kuno’s place in the center of the unofficial ring.

Kuno looked shocked. I don’t think anyone has ever taken that tone with him. Sneering and cruel. Even Nabiki can’t talk like that, like her words are made of splinters.

Kuno drew himself up to his full height. “I take unction at your tone-“ He looked Genma up and down, and made his distain clear before he graciously added, “-sir.”

“And I take unction at you still being in my ring.” Genma went to shove Kuno and Kuno dodged, just as Genma knew he would. Kuno took a sharp kick to the stomach, and though he walked out of the ring with his head held high, he had a look on his face that said he would much rather have doubled over.

“You see?” Genma said, turning to Ranma. “That’s how you deal with a guy like that. None of this wobbling all over the place. Who trained you, kid? ‘Cause it sure as hell wasn’t me.”

“Who the hell are you?!” Ryoga yelled, pretty freaked out.

Genma glared at him. “Genma Saotome. I thought I was Ranma’s teacher, but he clearly hasn’t learned jack shit.” He looked from me to Ryoga and smirked, “This the friend you were helping, Akane?”

“How did you even get here?”

He shrugged. “Heard some kids talking about a duel. I figured Ranma would be around.” He turned to address the crowd at large. “Shows over, by the way. Ranma and I have some family business to settle, so I suggest you all move along.”

I don’t think anyone wanted to be around Genma a minute longer than they had to. I actually had to grab Ryoga’s coat to keep him still. I wasn’t going anywhere. I could see Ranma over Genma’s shoulder, stock still, head down, centering himself. He was preparing for a serious fight. I wasn’t about to leave him alone in it.

Genma saw we weren’t leaving and decided to ignore us. “Might as well have you count us in,” He grunted at me. He took off his coat and tossed it to the side. The man is getting into his fifties, but he is still packed with muscle you can see right through his shirt.

I counted them in, but after I finished they just circled each other. They went around and around, waiting for the first move.

I don’t want to write what happened after that. I’m a little queasy just remembering it. I had thought for a minute that it would be like when my dad and I sparred. Fun and fast, me showboating a little and desperately looking for the upper hand as my father carefully blocked me and sent quick hits my way. My dad’s always gone easy on me—no, my dad always protected me. He could have thrashed me soundly, but he didn’t, because what kind of a sick fuck would do that to their own kid?

Not that Ranma wasn’t giving as good as he got, mind you. He’s been training with his dad his whole life. Still, every time his dad landed a hit I would gasp and grab Ryoga’s sleeve. Genma may have taught Ranma how to dodge, but he’s not as good at taking a punch, and Genma played to that.

I don’t know why my stomach clenched every time Ranma got hit. Maybe it was because it was his dad, and there is something about watching someone’s parents beat them up that makes me viscerally ill. Maybe it’s because I used to be scared of my dad. Not that he had ever threatened me, but, well, Genma’s the worst, but judging by the people dad used to hang out with, he wasn’t always the nicest person, either. There was no telling what he was going to do when I came out.

He cried. It was the last thing I was expecting. Questions, I think. Shock and a long string of questions.

Instead he burst into tears and kept talking about my mom. He didn’t make a lot of sense, and I wasn’t sure what to do, so I poured a bowl of potato chips and cracked open a beer for him. Kasumi usually cooks when people are sad, but that’s about the extent of my culinary skills.

Anyway, at some point my dad calmed down a little and said, “I’m sorry, Akane. When you have kids all you want for them is the best life possible. Then their mothers pass away, and they tell you things like that, and you know their lives are going to be that much harder.”

So I said, “You know, by you being okay with this you’re making my life a lot easier already, right?” and we shared a smile, and for a minute there I felt really good, like everything was going to work out.

I don’t know what Genma said when Ranma came out to him, but for some reason while they fought I started trying to imagine it. Every scenario I came up with made me madder and madder. Chest shaking, vision blurring mad. Rage. I wanted to plough my fists into his chest. I wanted to crack his skull like a cinder block.

That was when Ranma bounced off a tree and flew towards his father. It would have doubled his power if he’d actually hit his dad, but a move like that gave Genma plenty of time to react.

Genma threw Ranma into the lake.

I screamed.

Both Ryoga and Genma jumped.

I think I was screaming words?

Genma blocked as I ran past him.

You ever jumped into a half-frozen pond? Rage can’t keep you warm in there. I swear my heart stopped for a minute. By that point Ryoga was screaming too. Although he was screaming my name and telling me to stop and that he would call security or whatever.

I can’t swim, but I can tread water a little, and that’s all you really need to drag a guy out of a shallow lake.

For a minute Ranma lay on the shore and I kneeled there, shaking and gasping, and thinking, At least if I throw up it’ll be warm.

“We have to get you in a hot shower,” Ryoga said as he tried to pull me to my feet.

“Blankets,” I gasped. My chest was doing that awful thing where you shiver right down to your spine, causing your ribs to vibrate against each other. “A hot shower could put us into shock.”

“Is that what’s happening to Ranma?”

Ranma didn’t look good, but aside from his lips being blue, he didn’t look bad, either. Just dazed. He waved a hand limply and opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but his teeth just chattered so loudly it seemed theatrical. A skull shouldn’t make that noise unless someone is clacking it’s jaw together and reciting shakespeare.

Ryoga helped him up and the three of us staggered to the closest dorm, which was Ryoga and Ranma’s.

Once we were in their room I told Ryoga to go get the pile of blankets on top of my dresser, and tell Nabiki and dad what had happened.

By the time he left the room Ranma had his shirt off and was fumbling with the edge of his binder. Between his numb fingers and the water plastering it to his skin I was the one who had to wrestle it off of him. While Ranma rummaged around for another clean shirt I stripped off my tights, and discarded them next to his binder.

“Do you have a shirt I could wear?” I whispered. The last thing you would expect ice water to affect is your voice, but it closes off your throat like a fist.

Ranma didn’t say anything. He went over to his closet and dragged a big flannel robe off the top shelf.

For a few minutes it felt like a locker room after pe in highschool, both of us carefully moving around each other and pointedly not looking at anything in particular. Except instead of heading off to biology we had to sit there on Ranma’s bed, waiting for Ryoga to come back with all my stuff.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Ranma said as he wrung his hair out in a scratchy white towel.

“I thought your heart might have stopped or something.”

“It wasn’t that cold.”

“I guess.”

I toyed with a loose thread on the robe. I was also wrapped in the comforter off Ryoga’s bed, but underneath my skin still felt cold and clammy where it overlapped.

“Where’d you pick up that blanket thing?” Ranma asked, passing me the towel. “I thought for hypothermia you were supposed to get naked and share body heat.”

I snorted. “Sure, Ranma, but I don’t have a pile of pretty naked people on my dresser.”

“You could if you wanted to.” Ranma said with a wink. I would have laughed if the wink hadn’t made him wince.

“Did he have to hit your face?” I said, softly, as though that would make it less awful.

Ranma touched the spot where he would soon have a shiner. “Well, yeah. I left it open.”

I wanted to scream for a second. Tell him that was the worst thing I had ever heard, but what could he have said? Like it was his fault his father was disgusting.

“Stand up.” Ranma said, and I got off the bed. He gently took Ryoga’s comforter from me and spread it over his bed. Then he climbed back into the bed and scooted over so there was room for me to join him.

I stood there for a minute, weighing the desire to be warm against my desire for things to not be even more awkward, when Ryoga returned with the blankets, my clothes, and my family. He also had this book. I had forgotten I shoved it between the folds of the blankets till it fell out as he unfolded one.

Nabiki immediately ran over and cradled my face in her hands, demanding to know what had happened. I told her while dad checked Ranma and started layering him with blankets. By the time he was done all that stuck out was Ranma’s hair. With all those blankets on top of him, and his hair half red and half black with his roots coming in, my bed looked like we were putting on a production of  the Princess and the Chile Pepper.

Then dad made me get in the bed and worried over us for a little longer, asking if we needed anything, if we were getting warmer, until he had to go get dinner and go home. He kissed us both on the forehead like we were sick kids. Which I guess we were.

Nabiki promised that she would make sure we were okay, and saw him out. On the way they bumbped into Kodachi Kuno of all people, who showed up with two plates full of food from the dining hall. She was all blushey and stuttery, and it was kind of adorable.

Maybe Ranma will go out with her someday. It might be cute.

Don’t tell Ranma, but he’s kind of cute when he sleeps. He doesn’t look like he’s about to start a fight. Slack-jawed and innocent, like everyone else.

Right now I’m sitting up in bed with Ranma’s head on my thigh, and Ryoga typing something at his desk. It’s not just warm, it’s downright cozy in here. I’m probably going to fall asleep like this, because I am far too comfortable to move.

Although lying down would mean moving Ranma’s head.

I’d have to touch it.

I bet his hair is really soft.

No, wait, it got bleached to put the red in.

(It’s really soft).

Ryoga’s phone——->Mousse’s phone

Hey, it’s Ryoga. I’m coming

over with Shampoo for

Thanksgiving. How is that

going to work? Are you

going to pick us up? what

time? Where?

                                                             Who is this? How do you

                                                             know Shampoo?

Well, we met cause I’m

friends with her room

mate.

                                                             Are you the boyfriend she

                                                             was talking about?

Sure. Why not.

                                                             Shampoo’s grandmother will

                                                             be horrified. Let me ask her

                                                             what she thinks.

Mousse’s phone——-> Grandmother’s phone

Grandmother, Shampoo

wants to bring a boy

home for Thanksgiving

break!!!

                                                               How nice. I’d love to see what kind

                                                               of boy could capture her heart.

                                                               Wild as a horse, fickle as a cat.

                                                               Let’s see the man who’d propose

                                                               to tame her.

Grandmother, it’s disgust-

ing!!! They may be having

sex! They might have it

under your roof!!!

                                                              Easy on the exclamation points, son.

                                                              I wouldn’t mind some great

                                                              grandchildren!

                                                              Now stop texting and get back here.

                                                              This lemon chicken won’t deliver itself!

Mousse’s phone——->Ryoga’s phone.

Lot outside the girls dorm,

Friday, four pm. Don’t be

late. I will leave without

you.

A small white spiral bound notebook with ‘Ranma Saotome’ written along the top edge of the cover in block letters with a black sharpie.

I always thought diaries were just plot devices, but Akane actually keeps one and she’s a lot better adjusted than me, so I thought I’d try it for a while.

I’ve never slept with a girl before. Ukyo and I had sex, but that was always in the middle of the afternoon, or in a parked car, or whatever. We never slept with each other.

I guess what I’m really thinking about is that I woke up with a girl. It was weird. I didn’t see Akane the second I woke up. I was staring at the ceiling, one leg and like twenty blankets hanging over the edge of the bed. I was trying to remember the dream I’d been having or some other dumb shit like that, and then I turned over and was nose to nose with Akane.

She looked different with her hair all messed up and pillow creases on her face. She’s usually perfect. Hair tucked back, just a teeny bit of make up, pressed dress. She looked kind of funny drooling on my pillow.

Then she woke up and I freaked out. I mean, all I did was freeze up, but I was sure she was about to scream at me or something.

She smiled. This big, goony smile, like she’d just buried her face in a dog’s belly or had a sip of sweet, creamy, hot chocolate.

“Hey.” She whispered.

“Hey.”

She has huge eyes. Huge and dark with super long lashes.

“You feel okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. You?”

She stretched her arms over the head, pressing her palms against the wall. Then she went back to smiling. “I feel way too relaxed. I have like two essays due this week.”

“Me too.”

“Yeah. We’re taking the same classes.”

I think I blushed. My face definitely got warmer. I’m a fucking idiot.

“Ranma,” Akane said, and the way she was looking at me was soft and intense at once. Cow eyes? I don’t know. Like a soap opera. I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant, or maybe start crying.

She touched my face. The crest of bone just under my eye. I’m not sure what the word is for something like that. Intimate, maybe. It felt like the most intimate I had ever been with someone.

Then she broke it. Whatever that moment was. She sat up and stretched again, and said, “I should really get to the library and start on that Ottoman essay. I hate research essays. I can never get good sources.” She climbed over me and started gathering up all her stuff. Including a little black book.

“Is that your diary?” I asked, because for some reason I needed to keep talking.

She frowned and shoved it under her coat. “It’s nothing. Make sure Ryoga doesn’t forget my quilts when he comes over.”

Then she left. I’m sure it was a diary, so I figured I would try writing stuff down too and dug out this notebook.

I think this top blanket here is homemade. I think most of these are. They look knit or crochet or something. I wonder if Kasumi made them.

Well. I wrote everything down and I still feel as crazy as ever. I’m gonna go for a run. That always does the trick.

Facebook Messenger:

Shampoo: I JUST GOT MY COSTUME!!!!

Ukyo: Cool. I’m in class.

Shampoo: I LOOK SO GOOD!!! THERE’S THIS HUGE PARTY AT SOMEONE’S HOUSE OFF CAMPUS. YOU, ME, BANGING COSTUMES, DRINKS, DANCING, BOYS? GIRLS? INSANITY!!!

Ukyo: I did bring my costume from last year…

Shampoo: YEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!

Shampoo: Should I invite Ryoga?

Ukyo: I think he’d like that

Ukyo: But he has to wear a costume. Tell him it’s mandatory!

Facebook messenger, Royga:

Shampoo: PARTY!!! YOU ME UKYO DRINKS DANCING MAKING OUT!!!

Ryoga: When?!!

Shampoo: HALLOWEEN! YOU NEED A COSTUME!

Ryoga: Shit. Where would I get a costume?

Shampoo: Oh, baby, do I have you covered.

Ryoga: Can I bring Akane?

Ryoga: Wait, can I do the masked man thing?

Shampoo: You’ll have a mask alright.

Ryoga: No, I mean, the thing where we meet at a party and she doesn’t recognize me and I talk to her and she falls in love with me, and the next day I reveal myself!

Ryoga: This is brilliant! Shampoo, thank you so much!!!

Shampoo: wut.

Shampoo: Nm, you are going to look so hot in this costume you probably will score with Akane.

Kodachi’s Journal

All Hallows Eve

The most wretched of days

When man’s sins run amuck

Lust in the corner with the slutty nurses,

Gluttony lurking by the candy bowl,

Sloth hidden in the cheap hoodies and ski masks

Pride catching on the sequins and cardboard

Of those most fanciful designs

Envy trailing just behind them

Greed stretched across the faces of those

Who would make a quick buck

On shoddy material and cheap sugar

And wrath

Anywhere you don’t expect

Waiting to spring out at you

On the only night of the year when a murder in a ally

Might be performance art

I’m staying in my room,

Windows barred

Poker drawn

Netflix blazing.

Ranma’s Diary

I’m so glad I threw together a costume this year.

There was this really big party, which Kuno of all people clued me in on, cause he was eating breakfast with his sister, and they were talking about how neither of them wanted to go to this big party (although once I got there…well, that’s none of my business), so I asked around and kicked my costume making into high gear.

I had a cape. It was rad.

I don’t regret the costume, but I’m not sure how I feel about how I acted. Bad. But what kind of bad?

Okay, lemme unpack this.

I go to the party. It’s intense. Huge house, filled to the brim with loud, angry, horny, sweaty college students, most of them wearing masks. You walk inside and you get a contact high. I danced for a while, found some people I see at the gym a lot, and that really cool guy who is probably keeping me from failing math, but then I thought, ‘I need a real buzz’, and even I wouldn’t blame myself for having a few sips at a party like this.

Cause I wasn’t Ranma Saotome who has to watch his weight and stay hydrated.

Nah. I was BATMAN.

So I get a beer, and as I’m opening it I bump into someone, and it’s Zelda. And who hasn’t wanted to hit on Zelda? So she says, “Can you grab me one?” and I pass her the already open beer and say, “As you wish my liege,” except I said it in a batman voice.

And do you know what she fucking says?

She laughs and says, “I love that voice.”

“Oh really?” Which is lame, but I said it in the voice, so it was all good.

“Yeah,” And she looks at her beer, and then takes a swig, and I can tell she’s a little embarrassed but she says this anyway, she says, “Batman is really sexy. Not like I want to marry him and deal with his issues, but, I get why Catwoman is always throwing him up against walls.”

Which meant she was calling me sexy.

So I say, “Don’t you think Link might get a little suspicious when the heir to the throne has black hair?”

And I thought she would say something about at least pointy ears running in the family, but instead she got a little closer and said, “I think Link’s busy banging that Zora girl.”

And I said, “Good, because his princess is going to be in another bedroom.”

Which is when she shoved me a little, you know, playfully, and said, “Slow down. Let her majesty finish her beer first.”

When she shoved me I could feel how strong she was. Like, it was probably a challenge for her to not knock me into the drink table. Fuck that was hot.

So we go into the kitchen and talk, me still totally doing my batman voice because I am not about to drop a good thing when I have it. She was pretty cool. We didn’t talk about much, just school, and video games, and comics, which was all in between me flirting with her as hard as I could.

Then she finished her beer, and she put it down very slowly and she said, “There is a trampoline out back, but no one is out there because they think it’s too cold.

Like many college boys, I would gladly freeze my nads off to kiss Zelda.

So we go outside, and there was some light from the stars and the kitchen windows, but where the trampoline is it was pretty dark. We bounced onto it, and kind of rolled around a little before we got into a good kissing position, with her on top and my mask shoved up to the top of my head, and we got a lot of short, stuttery, laughing kisses, and it was great

For like five seconds, before I smelled it.

I mean, there was the weird rubber plastic smell of the trampoline, and me, and my sweat, and the rubber of my mask, and the cheap fabric smell of at least one of our costumes, but then her hair slipped out from under her wig, releasing the scent of her perfume and shampoo. Something in my brain short circuited and I was back on Akane’s bed with ten quilts on top of me, instead of on a trampoline with Akane on top of me.

I keep thinking I should have known somehow. Even with the wig and the make up and yelling over the music, some part of me should have known I was talking to Akane before I was tongue deep in her.

So then I panicked and shoved her off of me, and for a second she was lying there on the trampoline, and I was sitting up panting, because what the fuck had I done?, and she said, “Are you alright?” and it was so exactly her voice, it was so so obviously her, because who else could sound that worried about some rando she was making out with on a trampoline?

I ran. Tore through the garden, jumped a fence, and I was gone.

I can’t tell her. Maybe she doesn’t hate me as much as she used to, but this would just bring all those shitty memories roaring back, right? She would be pissed and betrayed, and no matter what I said about me having no idea until that second, she would never believe me.

Okay, so that’s decided. I just won’t tell her about it and it’ll be like it never happened.

Ranma, that is a great plan.

Latest post from fuckboisgetmoney.tumblr.com

A picture of Nabiki’s legs in sheer black pantyhose and sky high red heels. The picture ends just as the curve of her thigh becomes her ass, and there are some huge pink feathers curling over the top of her thigh.

#her name was lola…. #I still love this costume

Last five posts from okinomiyakimeansiloveyou.tumblr.com

5. A selfie of Ukyo in an Ichigo costume, with five more pictures of her huge replicas of Ichigo’s two swords. #shit you can’t get away with in highschool!

4. A neon colored deluge of artfully arranged candy wrappers

3. A photo of Shampoo looking adorable as Sailor moon in her “by the power of the moon” pose. Then another of her leaning against her bed, boots sprawled out in front of her, looking far more relaxed than Usigai ever did.

2. A picture of Shampoo putting her hair up in sailor moon buns. Her hair has already been parted and now she has gathered half of it in her hand, strands spilling out between her fingers. Only half her makeup is on. Red lipstick, but naked lids. You can just see the bright orange cover of Ukyo’s phone reflected in the mirror she’s using.

1. Read more

———————————————————————————————-

I think that was the most….eventful Halloween I’ve ever had.

It was a really cool party, and some guy asked me if I knew knife tricks, and fuck if I’m bringing TWO swords to a party and not knowing any tricks. I was having a really good time, and drinking mildly spiked soda, so I had a little buzz, I had a little sugar rush—and that was when I saw him.

Tuxedo Mask.

He was leaned up against the kitchen doorway, and he could not have looked more perfect if he tried. I went right up to him, stuck a sword in his face and said, “You have to meet my friend.”

Even Tuxedo Mask doesn’t argue when Ichigo Kurosaki has him at knifepoint. I mean, Ichigo is totally winning that fight.

I must have dragged that guy over the whole house, but we could not find Shampoo. He was getting more and more impatient, but I kept insisting that he had to meet my friend.

Then we were in the backyard. Just us and some dark shapes, and the flickering lights from the kitchen.

“Was this a joke?” Tuxedo Mask asked me.

I think a lot of things happened at once. Running all over the house caused my sugar high to crash, and I think I’m a weepy drunk, and I felt so stupid. I saw this guy and suddenly I’m writing a romance novel in my head. Like he and Shampoo were going to see each other, their eyes would meet, and they would fall madly in love. It just seemed so perfect.

I’m such an idiot. I had thought that for some reason Halloween could make love real, but something like love isn’t going to start existing because of matching costumes.

I started crying, and I think that freaked Tuxedo Mask out a bit.

“I’m sorry!” I blubbered. “I swear my friend was here dressed as Sailor Moon!” and then I think I said that stuff I just wrote about love and halloween.

Instead of running for the hills, which I would have understood at that point, Tuxedo Mask said, “How can you not believe in love?” Which was properly Tuxedo Mask-y, but not what I wanted to hear.

“Love isn’t something worth believing in.” I snapped.

“But it’s apparently worth grabbing strangers at parties. I don’t know how long you’ve known this girl, but already you seem to love her very much.”

That made me stop crying for a minute. I squinted at him, trying to see past his mask and the shadows of the backyard. I hadn’t noticed before, but he wasn’t wearing a domino, like the real tuxedo mask. His mask covered almost everything but his mouth.

He gave me the hanky from his pocket, and patted my head, like he wasn’t sure how to comfort humans. That thought made me laugh, and then his hand slipped a little and cradled the back of my skull. The atmosphere between us shifted. It wasn’t romantic or sexual. It was that feeling when someone touches you at a spot where your skin is stretched thin over your bones and your body asks you if you should smash their skull in before they get yours, or if you can relax.

I relaxed.

It was so comforting I almost forgot all that stuff about love and destiny. Right then it just felt good to have a cool breeze on my tear tracks and a kind person touching me.

Tuxedo Mask smiled, and swept towards the kitchen door, saying, “I see my job here is done.”

It took me a minute to get it, but I yelled before he went back inside, “You didn’t do anything!”

I hadn’t stopped laughing when Shampoo found me.

To: TKuno

From: NabikiTendo

Thought you might like to look at these before I send them to the dean. Do you think I should edit them a little or just send them as is?

Attachment: Two photos. One of Kuno, who is clearly himself, even in a loose kimono and face paint that makes him look like an opera mask. He’s in a poorly lit dining room, standing in front of a beer pong game, although it’s not clear if he’s playing or not.

The next one has Nabiki sitting on his lap in a showgirl outfit that is mostly feathers and a leotard. His paint is a little smeared, and he looks like he would fall over if the chair he was sitting on didn’t have a back. He doesn’t have an arm around Nabiki’s back, as courtesy would demand since she is sitting sideways, because he is holding both her drink and his own. Quite enough evidence for the kendo team to cut him for failing to adhere to the guidelines of the club.

From: TKuno

To: NabikiTendo

What do I have to pay you?

From: NabikiTendo

To: TKuno

You don’t. I will release these photos whenever I see fit.

You’re paying back my sister in fear and stress and wondering when your life will be ruined.

From: TKuno

To: NabikiTendo

What did I ever do to your sister? Didn’t I fight for her honor recently.

From: NabikiTendo

To: TKuno

If you hadn’t gone prying into my sister’s life she never would have been forced out of the closet.

Stew on that while you wonder if I’ve already sent the photos to your father.

P.S. I can’t believe you thought I didn’t recognize you. You deserve it all for falling for that ‘do you work out?’ line.

MY DIARY:

Dear Diary,

Today I did something I am deeply ashamed of.

I went to Nabiki Tendo on my hands and knees and begged.

I have never felt less dignified in my life than I did, my nose not one inch from the worn linoleum of her floor, breathing the scent of fear and regret (which was remarkably similar to fruity perfume and sweaty feet).

“Kuno, babe,” She said, drawing the word out like she was a gangster from an old movie, “There is nothing you could give me that I want more than this.”

“Please, Nabiki Tendo,” I said, trying to meet her eyes, only to see her silhouette against the fluorescent light, “Do not take kendo from me. It has given me everything.”

She shrugged, “You did this to yourself.”

Which is shamefully true. I did go to a party and partake in alcoholic beverages underage, of my own volition.

And, what Nabiki Tendo doesn’t know, is that this is was a ritual of mine. It is the one night of the year I do foolish things. I drink, and I speak in a throughly ungentlemanly way to young women, although I try to refrain from being a lout, and I get to pretend I am one of the great samurais from my dramas.

For the last three years it has been the perfect way to relax and resist doing something even more foolish.

I got cocky. That is all I can say. I saw Nabiki Tendo, and I panicked, of course, but when she did not seem to recognize me I fell right into her trap. I thought it would be my little secret. Whenever Nabiki Tendo berated me I could think, ‘Ah, but little do you know that you once sat in my lap and pressed your cleavage into my chin with a gusto I have never known before’. The cleavage part is still true, but I am too concerned about losing my scholarship, status, friends, and the codes I live for to enjoy it.

“There must be something I can offer you.” I tried, once more, “I would run around campus naked, I would destroy your  enemies, I would give my father a dressing down in front of the entire school. Please do not do this to me.”

Nabiki Tendo was sitting in the swivel chair at her desk as I knelt before her, and she swiveled to the side so she could place her ankle on my shoulder. Her toes are absurdly long and painted devil red. The woman is related to demons, mark my words.

“All I want is to see you doing this for a little while. Then, whenever I get bored, I’ll send the pictures in. I mean, you can come in here every night and do this whole spiel, and whenever I get tired of it you can do it for your dad.”

At that I rose swiftly and dramatically, an action whose drama was somewhat lessened by the fact that it threw Nabiki Tendo backwards and she smacked her head against the wall and I had to make sure she was alright before I could continue. (Take it from a man who has sustained many, head injuries are no joke).

“I see you leave me no choice, Nabiki Tendo, since you will not accept my offer of a fair trade, I will have to create an unfair one.”

“The fuck does that mean?” She said as I turned on my heel to leave, sounding utterly uninterested in my threat.

“It means,” I replied over my shoulder, “That I shall have to find something horrible about you and create mutually assured destruction.”

Nabiki Tendo snorted and turned back to her computer. Her parting words to me were, “Using cold war terms won’t make you any scarier, buddy.”

Now I must do something even more shameful than groveling at Nabiki Tendo’s feet: I must find out something about her that is so awful she will give me those photos back in the hopes that my knowledge will never being released to the public. This is not the sort of errand I ever wished to dirty my hands with, but now it is the only thing to be done.

Facebook Messenger:

Shampoo: You never told me how Halloween went. Did you get to seduce Akane Masked Man Style?

Ryoga: No. I never told you because it didn’t work out like I’d hoped. I did see Akane, but she seemed distracted, and since I couldn’t tell her who I was she got bored with me and left.

Shampoo: :( Boo. I was really rooting for you guys. Guess there’s nothing left to do but ASK HER OUT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.

Ryoga: You do not get to yell at me—you encouraged me! Also, YOU ARE CONSIDERING PROPOSITIONING YOUR ROOMMATE, SOMETHING WHICH NEVER ENDS WELL!!!

Shampoo: I am not! I mean, I would ask her on a date LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, but she doesn’t do dating anymore. After one bad breakup! I broke up with a guy I was young and stupid enough to think I was in love with, and yeah, he’s still hanging around, and yeah, I’m going to have to spend most of Thanksgiving break with him, but, like, I moved on.

Ryoga: How bad was it?

Shampoo: It wasn’t bad. Just stupid. It was really stupid. We were dating, like, our whole lives. I don’t know why. It was one of those marriage proposals on the playground things, and I never started to dislike Mousse or feel like we were growing apart, or like being without him would be better than being with him, but we were in our senior year and he basically said, “When do you think we’ll get married?” and I realized that all I ever wanted Mousse to be was some guy I dated in high school.

Shampoo: So I dumped him.

Ryoga: Okay, so, basically, it was nothing like what happened to Ukyo, yet you’re comparing it to what happened to Ukyo.

Shampoo: Okay, it wasn’t the same thing, but it wasn’t a clean break, either. You’ve had a rough breakup before, right?

Ryoga: No, but I’m probably due.

Shampoo: Well, trust me, a bad breakup does not suddenly make you aromantic or asexual. It may make you wish you were, but it doesn’t, and Ukyo needs to understand that she isn’t automatically going to get hurt because she puts herself out there again.

Ryoga: Would you care this much if you weren’t interested in her?

Shampoo: She is a wonderful person, and she is doing the world a disservice by acting like she murdered love and must forever repent for her sin.

Ryoga: She would not like that analogy.

Shampoo: Tell me you haven’t noticed how pretty she is. Or how nice or sweet or funny.

Ryoga: She is very sweet. She has a nice neck when she puts her hair up.

Shampoo: Very random compliment, but I’m glad you understand.

Ryoga: Careful, you don’t want me turning into your competition.

Shampoo: Don’t get greedy pretty boy, I know you’re already trying to juggle two girls at once.

Ryoga: 1. HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT??!! 2. Do you really think I’m pretty?

Shampoo: Dude, we’re friends on facebook. I got a ‘you have a mutual friend’ notification, and you may have scrubbed your profile, but your girlfriend sure didn’t.

Shampoo: Also, obviously you’re pretty. Although I should probably be calling you dirty boy, or pig boy or something, since you think you can have all the girls.

Ryoga: Oh, god, please don’t tell Akari. I’ve been meaning to, the time just hasn’t been right.

Shampoo: Not that I actually want to be involved, but what you should really be worried about is me telling Akane.

Akane’s Diary

Do not watch the dark knight trilogy because you’re desperate, do not watch the dark knight trilogy because you’re desperate do not watch the dark knight trilogy bec

To be fair, I’m mostly bored. Everyone is exhausted, because if they’re not worrying about finals they’re still burnt out after Halloween. Meanwhile I’ve got all my homework done, and it’s just not worth it to freak out about finals before Thanksgiving break. Refusing to worry about finals until it’s over is what Thanksgiving break is for.

Still, I shouldn’t go looking at everything batman related like that’s going to bring this guy back, or explain what the fuck happened.

He was nice. Like, he recognized the absurdity of making out on a trampoline, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t trying really, really hard. That was sweet, that earnestness.

I don’t know. I spent like an hour with him. It’s stupid, building him up as this perfect guy, but I can’t help it. I know he was fun to talk to, and even with my Zelda armor digging into my shoulders I felt comfortable with him, but because I know nothing about him I can fill in the gaps with whatever I want. I can pretend he’s an only child, and he won’t freak out when I tell him I’m trans, and he likes the idea of being married and having kids, but probably only two, because he understands I think it’s good for a kid to have a sibling, but two is plenty, and….

See? Too easy.

Maybe he’s in a relationship and a wave of guilt hit him.

Or maybe he remembered he had to feed his cat.

Or maybe he had an anxiety attack.

Or maybe I’m going to watch the dark knight trilogy because between that and thinking about this guy all night I should probably chose the option that’s easier on my sanity.

From TKuno

To: Dean

Sir, as one of your students I would like to bring to your attention that another student, Nabiki Tendo, has been selling contraband out of her dorm room and has probably made thousands selling alcohol and other drugs to minors.

Sincerely,

Tatewaki Kuno.

From Dean

To TKuno

Kuno, why did you put this in a email? Is this a prank? Nabiki Tendo has been accused of this several times before, but her room has never turned up any contraband materials, nor has anyone every given us any proof that she sells contraband.

You wouldn’t be trying to harm another student for some petty reason, would you?

From Tkuno

To Dean

I’m sorry, that was foolish of me. I know that Nabiki Tendo is not the sort of person who would be caught doing things like that. I was being thoughtless. I will consider my words more carefully next time.

From TKuno

To Ghostunkugi

Is it true that you can compile an account of another person’s life for a fair price?

From Ghostunkugi

To TKuno

All social media accounts, anything on public record related to them in anyway, and any thing else that seems interesting. 150

Shadowing, 100 for a day, 650 for a week

Photos +50 dollars every day. 150 for a full week.

Confidentiality assured, unless you murder someone and I have to talk to the cops again.

From TKuno

To Ghostunkugi

Just the first option for now. I will throw in a bonus if you can find any potentially life ruining information.

From Ghostunkugi

To Tkuno

One of those jobs. I get it. [Paypal information] Please pay in a prompt manner. Due to school I probably won’t have a complete file until after Thanksgiving Break.

Kodachi’s Journal

I fear that that which I once loved

That flower that bloomed so boldly

Is wilting in my hands.

Now that our yearly cycle has spun us into

Those brief six weeks

When we all pretend to care about

Peace, love, and good will toward men

(even our families)

It makes me realize that the spring of our love

Gave way not to a passionate summer

But to the bleakness of a winter without you

Ranma

I trace your name on fogged windows at my gymnasium

But I worry I have sucked all strength from it

Like a sweet drained of it’s syrupy filling.

I shall take my time in repose

With my father and brother

And wrapped in their tenuous, florid, masculine embrace

I recall that all men appreciate a swift hard strike when they least expect it.

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Wynonna Earp: “She Ain’t Right”

When It’s Played Straight (So to Speak)

The Setup: Find our reaction to Wynonna Earp’s season 2 premiere here. As one of our first experiments in following a show as it airs, we’re trying to keep up with the “act breaks” of the season. (As one of our others, see Miri’s Orphan Black reactions.) 

The excellent image above came from here.

SPOILERS (and gifs, and a few bad jokes) for episode 204 of Wynonna Earp abound after the jump:

MIRI: Kris, DOLLS IS A DRAGON!!!!!!

KRIS: So many things!

DOLLS IS A DRAGON

MIRI: He can BREATHE FIRE

and be all adorable after but HE IS A DRAGON

KRIS: I 1000% love that his and Wynonna’s first reactions were THAT WAS AWESOME

MIRI: Yes! It was the perfect, unexpected payoff to all of that “what is he??” buildup

Also, the shot of Doc, Jeremy, and chemist lady whose name I don’t know yet behind the bar was really funny

KRIS: I keep forgetting her name too

It’s okay, Miri remembers it below

Also: meet Wynonna Earp, Pyromaniac, apparently

MIRI: That does not surprise me in the least

KRIS: So ready to welcome Jeremy to the fold for two seconds

MIRI: I’m really enjoying the addition of Jeremy

“Last in first out”

KRIS: I wonder what Wynonna’s version of grudging/not-so-grudging eventual acceptance is going to look like

and I guess by that I mean both the character and the show

MIRI: I mean that kind of joke may very well be an early part of it

KRIS: I have a hard time picturing a heart-to-heart moment between them, although I could see Wynonna start to do it and then decide Jeremy ruins it by leaning in too eagerly

MIRI: That makes sense. Or she saves his ass sometime and tells him not to get all mushy about it, because they don’t leave family/their people/whatever behind

KRIS: Don’t Make It Weird, Jeremy

MIRI: ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 

Exactly

Ok, should we talk about the whole demon possession thing?

KRIS: Yes

MIRI: (Meaning the Earp sisters one, not the other family one)

(although that too later)

KRIS: Yeah that’s a whole other category

Gooverly, we hardly knew ye

MIRI: Ok, first off all props to Dominique Provost-Chalkley (which I spelled almost completely right without having to check!) for her acting in this portion of season 2 because DAMN

KRIS: oh I have some good Scrofano tweets saved for this

MIRI: She’s clearly having a lot of fun with the non-waverley moments, while staying totally true to the character the rest of the time

Excellent, please share them

KRIS: https://twitter.com/MelanieScrofano/status/880974392624369664

https://twitter.com/MelanieScrofano/status/880990800213147649

MIRI: Those are both amazing and accurate

KRIS: And of course this short thread: https://twitter.com/MelanieScrofano/status/880975020880691200

MIRI: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

KRIS: So it took me a second but I think Waverly was Gooverly from the moment she ran into Cujo in the hall before singing, to until she grew her hand back, yeah?

MIRI: Hmmmmmmmm I think so? I initially thought she reverted some while she and Wynonna were talking about the potential possession while tied up, but the lack of memory afterwards suggests it was all Gooverly

(did not know Gooverly was a thing, btw)

KRIS: Yeah it’s too bad Waverly missed Wynonna calling Siri a stupid bitch

MIRI: I loved that gag

KRIS: Thank Tumblr, as always, for Gooverly

I did see a funny tweet where after Emily Andras was like “I love this!” someone was like STAY OFF TUMBLR ANDRAS IT GIVES US ANXIETY IF WE KNOW YOU’RE WATCHING

MIRI: HAhahahahahahahahhahah that is fair and valid

KRIS: Also: https://twitter.com/eneiman/status/880980692448018432

MIRI: OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

OH MY GOD OHMY GOD 

Also this: https://twitter.com/melaniescrofano/status/880985275622723584

KRIS: Lot of A+ gif replies there

MIRI: So true

Seriously, weird moment

Great Wynonna faces though

KRIS: Always

Sorry readers, where were we?

Right, demonic possession

Goonona!

MIRI: Hahhahahahahahha

It’s cute that you act like this isn’t what we do in general

But yes, Goononna!

I think she’s going to end up fighting back just as much, but it’ll take her longer to

She’ll give in on the little things more easily, but when it comes down to potentially hurting her loved ones, you know Wynonna beats Goononna

KRIS: Oh what if it’s Jeremy who ends up finding the fix?

MIRI: That would make sense

KRIS: I don’t know if that’s where it’s going but I do think it’ll come down to the team saving her at least 50%

MIRI: Yeah, team effort

KRIS: If only because it means a Waverly hero arc

MIRI: But Wy’s part of it all is going to be fighting back For Love

Yes, I like Waves as a hero!

KRIS: I feel like we might have some comic beats of Wynonna fucking shit up and everyone’s just like “oh, that’s more or less normal, maybe she’s just having a bad day”

MIRI: Ohhhhhhh you’re so right

KRIS: I like that I can see a lot of different versions of the team figuring it out

MIRI: Yeah, it really is a well built ensemble

KRIS: Like I could see Doc and Dolls going to each other like, hey this is weird

Or I could see Nedley spotting it

MIRI: Ooh, Nedley!

Nicole would also make sense, since she’s been picking up the vibe from Waves

KRIS: Or Lucado learning it and then immediately dying

MIRI: YES

Although I am liking her as a character more

KRIS: everyone start your Lucado Life Expectancy Clocks now

I do like her

as a character

MIRI: I bet we get another good Wynonna Being Drunk and Making Bad Choices scene/montage next episode

KRIS: Yeah, and depending on how bad the choices, that seems like a possible entry point for the No-Longer-Reluctant Bromance to realizing something is wrong

MIRI: OMG the NLR Bromance was on point this episode

Like, they are just doing to shippers’ jobs for them at this point. I anticipate many gifsets in the near future

KRIS: Emily Andras seems like one of those people who absolutely cackles while she’s writing

MIRI: I actually really like that they’re not combative anymore and that they can have mutual respect and caring.

I 100% believe that she does

And once again let me say how much I want to be her when I grow up

KRIS: I went to a Writers’ Panel podcast recording in the fall that had a few former Buffy writers on it, and when the host asked who actually enjoyed writing, Jane Espenson was one of like three panelists out of twelve who raised their hands

And Marti Noxon was like, oh you’d be walking down the hall and you’d hear Jane giggling in her office at her own dialogue

MIRI: Jane Espenson was the first writer I realized I wanted to be! I have such a clear writer crush type!

KRIS: And I definitely think Andras is that person in the Wynonna room

MIRI: I got her autograph (twice) at DragonCon my senior year of undergrad

KRIS: I hope No-Longer-Reluctant Bromance doesn’t turn into a combative love triangle

MIRI: I really really hope so too

KRIS: Doc does seem to be conscientious about staying on his Make Good Choices wagon

MIRI: They seem to be doing a nice job of Circumstances Keep Them Apart for Wy and Dolls this season, though of course that can only work for so long

Yeah, Doc and Chemist (is it Rosita?)’s little almost kiss was well played

Imagine trying to establish healthy boundaries in this group. Oy

KRIS: Ah, yes, it is Rosita

MIRI: Ok, back to Goononna for a moment--I think we finally get an answer to Is Waverly and Earp? through this, or at least they’re setting it up so make it seem that way

KRIS: Which scene in particular?

MIRI: At the end, when Wynonna drops Peacemaker

They used it as a demon detector well this ep, and then that’s a powerful moment

So if Wy can’t use it--or even touch it--it potentially falls to Waverly to kill some sort of demon. And then we see if the gun will shoot for her or not

KRIS: Okay, yeah

Oh, when Dolls handed Wynnona Peacemaker it kind of reminded me of that moment in Fury Road when Max gives Furiosa the rifle

MIRI: nice

KRIS: Not really a similar beat emotionally but still

MIRI: This is a show that does well on the details

Like Waves’ nail polish on the hands

KRIS: I definitely did not pick up on nail polish details

MIRI: Shocking 😉 

She had nail polish on, and then the regrown hand didn’t, so it was a nice visual clue that Gooverly was lying

And thus that she could in fact be Gooverly when the eyes weren’t black

KRIS: oh nice

Okay, so MRA villain and his Poor Faceless Sisters and whatever Doc let out of that crate in Black Badge

Which I now think could very well have NOT been deliberate?

MIRI: I fucking love you. “MRA villain and his Poor Faceless Sisters” omg

Is there a connection between them and what Doc let out? I may have missed that

But yes, let’s talk about the sinister siblings

KRIS: I think the Woman/Women in Black that have been skulking around since 202 are what he let out

MIRI: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I did not put that together

interesting

KRIS: from the clothes and hands

MIRI: Yeah, that makes sense

wait, are they the ones wearing the sisters’ faces, do you think?

KRIS: I think so

Now I’m trying to remember if they were ever haunting Wynonna at the homestead

Like are they tied to that family [the Gardners] somehow or did that family just turn out to be a convenient way to get at Wynonna?

MIRI: I don’t think so. I think it just comes up because she smells the perfume there

Not sure about that

I think it’s just convenient

Unless they aren’t what Doc released and they came out of the abandoned school basement seal

KRIS: Or maybe it was one in the crate and one under the seal?

MIRI: Oh, could be!

KRIS: Because I was wondering why there were suddenly two

MIRI: And if it is them, why was one being Willa? Unless one actually is her?

Or it’s just to fuck with Wynonna

KRIS: Hmm

Maybe something to do with Earp women?

MIRI: Oh, could be. And it would be cool since we mostly hear about Earp men otherwise

Were those gross no-face bodies the actual sisters? I’m very concerned because I’m not sure if those cool/freaky jawline scars mean that’s where the demons or whatever climbed into the sisters’ bodies, or if they simply sewed the sisters’ faces onto theirs.

KRIS: I was pretty sure they just took their faces, yeah

MIRI: Blech

I mean, either is gross, obviously

KRIS: Yeah they’re definitely leaning into the horror angle

MIRI: Yeah, that’s not my favorite bit

Have you seen the ep 5 sneak peak?

Because EW

KRIS: No

MIRI: 

KRIS: Oh she is having fun

And so is art department

MIRI: Emily Andras or Melanie Scrofano?

And yes, they are

KRIS: Scrofano

But always Andras, I’m sure

MIRI: Yeah, I think it’ll be an intense ep

Looks like they’re not going to drag out everyone else finding out very long

KRIS: I’m glad

MIRI: Maybe one more episode, but no more than that definitely

Agreed!

KRIS: Doppelgänger stories have always stressed me out kind of irrationally

MIRI: Really?

KRIS: as far back as the 1992 Power Rangers

MIRI: Do tell

KRIS: I don’t know why exactly

I think I dislike characters even temporarily believing that their friends would be cruel to them

MIRI: Ahhhh, that makes sense

Did Gooverly stress you out?

I guess she wasn’t being mean much

KRIS: Weirdly not much

Maybe because Nicole caught on so quickly?

Or because it just wasn’t the A-story?

MIRI: Or because she was herself enough of the time?

KRIS: I guess

MIRI: I wish MRA villain [Tucker] had been possessed instead of his sister [Mercedes] who we had gotten to know a bit. I liked her

KRIS: Yeah! I wanted more scenes with her and Wynonna

MIRI: However I’m sure he’s going to die horribly, so that’ll be nice

Yes, their dynamic was good! Especially with the whole Willa thing

KRIS: I hope it’s Nicole who gets to at least arrest him

MIRI: YES

KRIS: I guess preferably he gets possessed or something and then she gets to blow him up

MIRI: Also good, but it being “normal police work” might be satisfying too

KRIS: Ohhhh, yeah

MIRI: Nedley’s defense of the normal cop duties worked really nicely for me

KRIS: It did, but the best version of that story involves Nicole/us getting to know more residents of Purgatory and I’m not sure the show has time for that

MIRI: Hmmmm good point

I think it’s a good justification for keeping her a secondary member of the team, if they had to make that choice in order to bring Jeremy and Rosita in too

KRIS: Yeah I think they’ll find the right balance

But even though I’m not really a fanfic reader I hope someone out there is doing some What Nicole Does Offscreen stories

MIRI: I have not gone looking for any Wynonna fanfic, but I feel sure that this exists

Also, did you ever read the road to Purgatory blog??

KRIS: I did not

MIRI: OMG

Ahhhhhh!!!!

KRIS: As in Wynonna on her bus trip home before the pilot?

MIRI: It’s a secret tumblr easter egg type thing

No, it’s Nicole’s early days in Purgatory!

KRIS: Ohhhhh

I can see her as the journaling type

And not so much Wynonna

I have some miscellaneous 103 notes and a couple of Andras tweets but I’m running out of thoughts for this one

MIRI: Hit me with the miscellaneous! That’s the advantage of the every few episodes check in, we can be as random as we need to be

KRIS: Some favorite lines:

Nicole: “Forget it.” Wynonna: “I think we both know I won’t.”

Doc: “I’ll get my vapors.”

Wynonna: “Lions and tigers and bears, oh shit.”

MIRI: All excellent

KRIS: My other 102-3 thing was that I’ve mentioned before that sometimes Wynonna’s cheese level goes a little too high for me; part of this is that I’m not much of a slo-mo guy

And Wynonna Earp loves its slo-mo

MIRI: Are you referring to the cheerleading slo-mo or battle slo-mo?

KRIS: Like dramatic walk slo-mo

MIRI: I’m a total sucker for it

KRIS: I was okay with Wynonna’s slo-mo middle finger after beating up a bunch of high schoolers

MIRI: hahahahahah you would be

KRIS: But when it’s played straight (I feel like I should add “so to speak” in the context of this show) it’s a little much for me

Just wanted to get that off my chest

MIRI: hahahahahahhahahahahah “so to speak”

I feel like Emily Andras would approve of that

KRIS: It’s not like four needle drops an episode but it’s a thing for me

MIRI: You’re entitled to your things

KRIS: Although slo-mo in fight scenes I generally approve of, if only because the industry is still recovering from everyone trying to copy Paul Greengrass’s shaky-cam 50-edits-a-second style of shooting fight scenes

MIRI: I’m 100% here for a dramatic, goo-covered slo-mo walk while they swing weapons, and I’m ok with that

hahahahah too true

KRIS: Thank the gods for John Wick

I think that’s all I had?

MIRI: (I CAN’T WAIT FOR ATOMIC BLONDE)

KRIS: Oh Andras tweets

https://twitter.com/emtothea/status/880976816609034241

And of course: https://twitter.com/emtothea/status/880980791572000768

MIRI: I have a few little things too--love that they’re carrying the Doc’s hat mourning on

KRIS: (I recommend that Earpers who like other Western things watch Justified if they haven’t already; an episode of the first season is called “Hatless”)

Liked Dolls reacting to his hatlessness

MIRI: You look shorter without a hat

Sidebar: Readers, Kris is a hat guy. This is why the hat stuff means so much to him. Tragically, I have yet to see him in a cowboy hat. I’ll let you know if it ever happens

K: It has now happened, not in real life but in photographic evidence

KRIS: I have lost two or three “outback” style hats

MIRI: Also, DPC’s singing voice is AMAZING and between the cheerleading thing and the song I think they’re trying to kill us all

Ok, any last Wynonna thoughts? Predictions for the rest of the seasons? Fears? outlandish dreams?

KRIS: I mostly just want to see Dolls breathe fire at more things

MIRI: That is an excellent goal

KRIS: And just general rooting for Nicole

MIRI: I bet we don’t get that much more because of the VFX budget, but I don’t know how much fire costs

KRIS: Definitely hoping for more No-Longer-Reluctant Bromance (how do you portmanteau Doc and Dolls?), and I trust this show not to go too far the way Supergirl did with spotlighting Mon-El

A few hours after this chat I searched Tumblr for “Hollidolls” and that didn’t turn up anything. I feel like Hollidolls should happen. Help me out, Earpers.

How about you?

MIRI: Agreed with all of the above!

I think we’ll se a little more of Jeremy as a person, not just a Black Badge dude

Maybe even a dramatic Make Your Choice type thing

And I hope Wynonna having shot Willa will be addressed, not just allowed to fade away. (Gooverly’s line this past ep suggests that it will)

And I hope that we get an answer to Waverley’s Earp status

Ok, I think that’s it for me

KRIS: Until next time, readers: Way cool with a side of habanero!

Oh my god

That’s the cheesiest exit I’ve ever done

MIRI: hahahahahha

KRIS: It’s the exclamation point, isn’t it

MIRI: You realize you have to include the critique of the exit in the exit now, right?

KRIS: or the fact that I’m not Melanie Scrofano

obviously

MIRI: 

help now I’m caught in a gif spiral of how great her faces are

sorry not sorry for this

KRIS: Melanie Scrofano, International Treasure

No promises, but we’ll try to be back around episode 7. In the meantime, you can follow us on Twitter, where Kris retweets a lot of culture critics, screenwriters, and actors. 

[petepepsi]

My First Fanfiction (AKA: Why Did I Think of This When I was Nine Years Old What the Heck)

A bit of background first:

When I was in like 3rd/4th/5th grade, Phineas and Ferb was the greatest thing in the entire world (followed by Smash Bros and pumpkin pie, respectively). I loved that show more than anything ever.

During this point in my life, I also discovered ~*~the internet~*~. Once on ~*~the internet~*~, it was rather inevitable that I would look up Phineas and Ferb on Google Image Search.

One glorious day, I found a picture I really liked. So, wanting to get a better look, I clicked on it. It was at that point that I discovered something that would change my life forever.

KictserAsh on Deviantart. AKA imaginashon on tumblr, but little wee baby Skyler didn’t know what Tumblr was (thank god). AKA: Literally the Biggest Inspiration in my Whole Damn Life. (and now they work on mml ain’t that neat)

I went through their ENTIRE Phineas and Ferb gallery, loving every single piece. I also found some of their written work, and oh boy you bet little Skyler LOVED that.

So I read like everything on their account. And those stories inspired me. They still do, actually (and so does their art everything they make is really good you should go look at their blog/gallery please).

So here’s where we get into the fanfiction (adding a readmore b/c this is about the get REALLY LONG)

TW: talk of death, and swearing.

To put this story into EXTREMELY simple terms, the plot goes as follows: (sidenote: characters are like 16 in this) Ferb dies, and Phineas’s friends help him get back on his feet afterwards (along with a more supernatural friend).

Now, you’re probably thinking: “Skyler, that’s not too weird of a fanfiction.”

That’s where you’re wrong, but I’ll get to that later.

You see, the story begins at Ferb’s funeral (loosely inspired by the fact that I had recently gone to a funeral, so this was pretty legit). Very well-described, from what I remember. The family gave little speeches, it was nice.

Then, the next chapter was Phineas at home (alone) in his room at like four in the morning. This was when we found out how Ferb died. It was some kind of industrial accident (a giant machine fell on him yikes). It was the “project of the day” that P and F were working on that caused Ferb to fuckin die. This part I remember the least about when it comes to the specifics, but I do remember reading it over again in 7th grade (before the computer I wrote this on became deader than Ferb) and thinking that the scene sounded “vaguely like someone contemplating suicide, but in a more child-friendly way.”

The next chapter took place about a week later, from the perspective of Phineas’s friends (Baljeet, Buford, Isabella, and Django i don’t know why Django was there instead of any other character shut up) They were all going to visit Phineas, because “he hadn’t left his house in over a week” and, apparently, that was very unlike him. So they go up to the house, and there’s a tiny little description of the backyard, where, I shit you not, I wrote: “There was still blood on the grass.”

So cut to later that chapter, and Phin’s pals are trying to help him out, but he’s having none of it. He locked himself in his room, and won’t talk to anyone (except in depressed sighs).

Here comes the best scene of the whole story.

So during this part, Baljeet is very quiet, and I certainly made sure everyone was aware of that (I was never subtle, but then again I was eight). Eventually, Isabella and them give up, and Baljeet gets fucking piiiiissed. In a shocking display of strength, Baljeet BREAKS DOWN THE DOOR IN A FIT OF RAGE. And that’s where the chapter ends.

I can’t remember what happened in the next chapter (I believe it was some silly ghostly shenanigans with Ferb  even back then, i was a “master of comedy”), but the one after that was where the plot happened.

So, being a fourth grader, I had at this point in my life discovered “Ouija Boards.” And little Skyler thought that was so cool, until her mom told her a really spooky story about Ouija Boards, which deeply traumatized little Skyler. Little Skyler, having no way to express her emotions other than writing, decided to use this terrifying experience and turn it into something “nice.”

So the gang uses a Ouija Board to chat with ghost Ferb (never thought I’d write that sentence), and things go all right for a bit.

Key words: a bit.

So Django and Co. leave, and Phineas is home alone once again. Well… he’s not really alone.

Phin grabs the Ouija Board, and (breaking the ONLY RULE GOD DAMMIT PHIN) uses it alone.

Here is where we meet the coolest motherfucker ever. His name?

I have no idea.

I wrote this a long time ago, and his name must’ve been pretty dumb for me to push it out of my mind like that.

For the sake of convenience, his name is Todd (b/c why not).

Now Todd was my first ever OC. He's a ghost who wishes to return to the human realm. I remember him looking like "a strange eight-foot tall vaguely humanoid figure with four ribbon-like appendages protruding from his back. His body was completely black, aside from his eyes which took on the appearance of glittering rubies. Aside from the eyes, his entire body looked to be made of pen scribbles, like someone had scribbled over a picture of someone they disliked and then transformed it into a 3-D image.“

Now, you’re probably thinking, “How the heck was Todd going to return to the human realm?” Well, according to my made-up ghost rules, all he needed was a willing host. The “host" offers you their soul, and you take it, giving you not only a physical form, but a slave for all of eternity! It’s a pretty swell deal, tbh.

So Todd, posing as Ferb (reminder that poor lil Phin can’t see the Eldritch monstrosity that he’s communicating with), tries to convince Phineas to give him his soul (using very different terms).

It’s sorta like “Oh hey yeah, you’re sad, but you can fix everything. You can save me. Then everything will be normal again.” And Phineas, being the “uwu innocent naïve cinnamon roll” totally believes him.

Phineas is about to accept “Ferb”’s deal, when suddenly - WHOOSH! The lil Ouija disk thing flies out of his hand (and out the window), and the board flies up and slams down against the floor (as if someone threw it down there hint hint), shattering on impact.

Now, Phineas is fucking distraught over this, but instead of exploring that shit, I zoomed on over to the next chapter.

Chapter six seven who gives a fuck, begins before the previous chapter, and takes place from Ferb’s perspective (because I remembered that he was a character who existed).

So Ghost Ferb (Gerb? Fost?) is chillin and thinkin about ghost shit, when he “senses the Ouija Board being activated” (b/c that’s a thing ghosts can do). Ferb, thinking “Phineas what the shit you broke the only fucking rule goddammit,” goes to make sure no other spirits are fucking shit up, when lo and behold…

IT’S TODD

So Ferb doesn’t immediately rush in, he stands outside the door thinking, “Who’s this bloke and what does he think he’s doing? I’m gonna go all medieval on his metaphysical ass.”

Ferb listens to his plan (which he is saying out loud because he’s the bad guy), and thinks “Phineas isn’t gonna fall for this.” Then, he hears Phineas agree and he’s like “WHAT THE FUCK, PHINEAS” and then runs in and using his extremely inconsistent influence on the material world, throws the Ouija disk out the window and smashes the board on the floor.

As one could assume, this makes Todd fuckin pissed. However, instead of beating the shit out of Ghost Ferb (b/c really, what would that accomplish?), he leaves, warning Ferb that “he’d be back.”

then i never continued the story the end

Just kidding. Well, not really.

I never actually continued the story (it was at this point I got kinda out of the PnF fandom and more into video game and stuff), but I did have more stuff planned out. But I literally can’t remember any of that shit. And since the computer I wrote this work of art on died, I can’t exactly look it up. But I don’t wanna leave you like this.

So here we have…

the extra shit that i didn’t put into that long-ass description

Django’s speech on the importance of art. This was just kind of a thing that randomly occurred while the gang was on their way to Phineas’s house.

Ferb’s very inconsistent power over the material realm. I’m not exactly sure where I was trying to go wih this, but basically Ferb had some magic powers that let him interact with the physical world (i.e. knocking over stuff, levitation sometimes, etc.). This is sort of a regular ghost thing, but my story had a neat little twist. Ferb could only use this power at the Flynn-Fletcher household, because it only works at the place the ghost considers “home.”

the stuff i never actually wrote in the story itself

So, before I get started on the story parts of this, I should tell you Todd’s Backstory.

Todd was alive back in modern day. He was like one or two years older than Ferb. When he was younger, he was in some sort of academic competition against Ferb and Ferb won. This caused Todd to hate Ferb with a burning passion, and basically create a grudge so strong that only an extremely stubborn crazy determined teenager could hold it.

About a year or so before the story takes place, Todd died in a car accident after a distracting “beam from the sky” caused him to drive into oncoming traffic (It was highly implied that the beam was from one of Phineas and Ferb’s machines can’t believe phineas has a fuckin body count). It is revealed that (using the powers of “evil ghostly revenge”) HE caused the machine to fall on Ferb, and now he plans on getting revenge for Ferb beating him in all those academic competitions.

And yeah, that’s it. My first fanfiction. Hope y'all enjoyed this trip through my eight/ten year old psyche.