#I am very tired and I don't remember a thing

[fellow-fandom-fruitifier]

AU where Edwin knows he's gay from the start would be fire me thinks.

Imagine if he thinks he deserved Hell but still wants to escape and feel so wrong and selfish for it. So he never tells Charles what actually happened between 1916-1989, Charles only knows whatever happened was very bad no good. Edwin would be horribly, painfully aware that he was falling for Charles. But that's wrong, isn't it? Boys can't like boys.

So he tries so hard to ignore it, tamp it down. He can't let Charles know. If he knows then he'll know why he's avoiding the afterlife, that he deserves to go to Hell.

Charles knows Edwin is scared of Death and the afterlife, he assumes that something happened from 1916-1989 that convinced Edwin he was damned but there's just no damn way someone as good as Edwin deserves Hell. But, selfishly, he never tries to convince Edwin to go. To leave for his beautiful afterlife.

Then Port Townsend happens.

Crystal is no idiot, she can tell Edwin's jealous from the start. She can tell Charles thinks it's because they're best friends, she can tell it's because Edwin's in love. That doesn't stop her though, she deserves one good thing after everything, doesn't she?

(I think Cat King would go very similar to canon, but it's less of "I'm not gay" and more of "I know what I am but these urges aren't okay".)

Niko loves love, she can tell Edwin loves Charles. She can tell Edwin doesn't know it's okay. Niko helps him through it, becomes his confidant, the first person he confesses everything to. I think they would have a huge conversation that ends in them both crying -- Edwin bemoaning his unrequited love, Niko mourning for him -- and cuddled up watching Scooby-Doo. (The sprites get teary eyed too but still mock them, Niko calls them out and they deny it. "It's dusty as shit in this old ass glass!" "Yeah, we're getting fucking pick eye in here!" "When's the last time you even washed this shit-ass jar?")

It all comes to a head with the Night Nurse. We all know her spiel, "I'm taking Edwin back to Hell and Charles to get processed." But Charles doesn't know Edwin's been processed. Charles doesn't know Edwin's assigned to Hell.

Niko is empathetic, not forcing Edwin to explain but not once thinking he did anything to deserve it. Crystal is up in arms, demanding to know what he did to deserve Hell, demanding to know why he hid it from Charles. Charles is confused, conflicted. Edwin's his best mate! There's no way he deserves Hell! But... but why didn't he tell Charles? Edwin is overwhelmed and panicked and no, no, no! Charles was never supposed to know!

Now, listen. Niko isn't one for confrontation, she doesn't like to fight. But hearing Crystal rip into an unresponsive Edwin while Charles lingers unsure on the back has her heart breaking, has her head hurting. So she steps in, shouts at them to stop, that they'll talk tomorrow when they've cooled off. And drags Edwin off to her room for the night. She doesn't demand answers and he doesn't give them.

The next day, everyone's off. The tension is high and only building. Crystal keeps sending Edwin pointed comments and Edwin is actively ignoring her existence. Charles is conflicted, caught between Crystal and Edwin; taking both their sides without taking either. And Niko doesn't know how to soothe any of it, so she sticks close to Edwin.

Eventually the four are leaving the graveyard, Crystal and Charles arguing when she rounds on Edwin. "And you! Don't think I forgot about you!" Niko tries to step in and stop it like she did last time but Edwin's tired, he's had enough, he breaks. "I was sacrificed! I was sacrificed and spent seventy-three gruelling years fighting to escape! There, happy? Might we please move on now?"

He storms past them all and for the first time since this dispute started, Niko is angry. She tells Crystal that wasn't okay, that it was cruel. And takes off after Edwin, leaving Charles and Crystal standing uselessly.

"I didn't know..." Neither remember who said that.

[starrose17]

I'm deleting all my fics on AO3.

This is in protest of the new trend of zero interaction, zero reblogs and zero comments that content creators now have to put up with, fandom is now a depressing place and I'm sick and tired of giving everything and getting nothing.

Everyone keeps saying "Oh but you should write for yourself" well fine, I am, this is what fandom would be like if everyone only wrote for themselves and therefore don't need to share their work. Empty. Fandom is now empty.

I've been on tumblr for a very long time and still have people who followed me for past fandoms, so should you want to keep any of my fics please download them now.

I have already deleted the majority of my fics on there except the following 7 of my long fics, which I will list here. In 24 hours they will be deleted also, so please download them if you wish to keep them.

This is the end of my participation in fandom.

Title: Asunder

Fandom: Loki

Pairing: Mobius/Loki

Summary - The violent God and the gentle Man, two sides of Loki’s split personality that has him locked in a criminal mental institution. His doctor, Mobius, has him under his care, but there are things Loki doesn’t remember, about his crime, about his past…about who Mobius really is. All Loki knows is that he is afraid of what the God will do next, and that the easy smile of his doctor makes something stir warmly inside him.

Title: See You Tomorrow

Fandom: Vikings

Pairing: Athelnar

Summary: After suffering through a horrific tragedy, Athelstan has lost his faith. A difficult thing, when living in the village on the Holy Island of Lindisfarne. Refusing to talk to God, and knowing the locals are watching him, Athelstan tries to continue with his life as though he wasn't screaming inside. When a tourist named Ragnar Lothbrok visits the island, his wild and very forward personality gives Athelstan a jump start in actually living his life, not just being alive. Though Athelstan isn't entirely sure if it helps or not that Ragnar is trying to seduce him every two seconds. Hint: It does.

Title: Bad Reputation

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Real life pairing J2 Jensen/Jared

Summary: A-list Hollywood movie star, rich, charmingly charismatic, sweetheart of the industry, Vogue’s Sexiest Man Alive 2 years in a row, wanted by all producers and all gold diggers alike with his fans in the millions. So how had lowly car mechanic Jensen now got Jared’s phone number written on the back of his hand, his chevy impala in his garage, and a promise of dinner, Jensen didn’t the fuck know! Now there’s paparazzi at his door and Jared turning up in the middle of the night in tears, what has Jensen got himself involved in?

Title: Guardian of the Soulless

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Geralt/Jaskier

Summary: Geralt has just left a relationship with Yennefer, the boss of a top London crime family. They leave on good terms, and he stays as a bodyguard for hire to be called upon when needed. He has every reason to believe his life will carry on as normal, but he barely gets two footsteps down the street before he finds a noisy angel amongst his monsters of the crime world. Jaskier has no idea what he's gotten himself involved with, and frankly he's more excited for it. Cue Jaskier finding a heart to call home, and Geralt realising love is what he'd always been missing.

Title: The The Stars

Fandom: Good Omens

Pairing: Crowley/Aziraphale

Summary: The happy ending Titanic!Au. Aziraphale is being forcibly sent to America to be forcibly married to Gabriel. Crowley is going to forcibly screw that up.

Title: L/S - I Will Stand Here With You

Fandom: Black Sails

Pairing: Flint/Silver

Summary - Silver's the irresistible hot singer for the new band L/S. Flint is a lonely man. Miranda is his fed up friend needing to get Flint back in the game. What she doesn't expect is what she'd planned as a one night stand between the two men to grow into something beautiful.

Title - We Met At The Park

Fandom: X-Men First Class

Pairing: Erik/Charles

Summary: Unable to sleep one night Erik takes a midnight walk in the local park. He finds himself being followed and propositioned by a rent boy named Charles, and begins to fall rather rapidly for his charms. Charles however has never known what love is, and doesn't recognise it even when it's staring at him in the face. As for Erik, he doesn't realise a creeping illness is slowly affecting Charles, and his dark past is something he couldn't have imagined.

[lesone-shot]

You wear her shirt

Sophia (KATSEYE) x fem!reader TW: nothing but just fluff

Sophia let out a groan as she felt the sunlight hit her eyes. She wasn't sure what time it was but surely it had to be much too early to be awake on her day off.

She moved closer to where you should be sleeping and went to wrap you in her arms, only to feel the warm sheets against her fingertips instead.

"Y/N?" she quietly spoke as her eyes opened once more.

She sat up and looked around the room while rubbing her tired eyes. The clock confirmed her thoughts- it was only nine-thirty am, too early to be getting up on a rare day off.

But you're not here with her so falling back asleep is not an option; not until she knows where you are and can pull you back to bed with her. She got out of bed and checked the bathroom first but the light was off and the door was open so she knew you weren't in there anyways, though she looked just to be safe.

Dragging her feet along the floor, she called out for you and looked around upstairs. But you weren't anywhere up there so she headed downstairs.

As soon as she reached the last step, your name nearly fell from her lips once more, until she smelled something delicious in the air.

She followed the smell until she saw you in the kitchen. A breath of relief escaped her lips before she leaned against the doorway with a soft smile as she watched you hum and move around as you cooked something delicious.

Another thing that caught her attention was what you were wearing- one of her shirts.

"I fall in love even more with you every day, you know that?" You jumped at the sudden sound of her voice and turned around with your hand right over your heart.

"Sophia! You scared me!" She laughed before coming over to you.

"I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to. I just couldn't help but tell you that" She wrapped you in her arms and kissed your forehead before she looked at what you were cooking.

"You're making breakfast?"

"I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed but now that you're down here I guess that's kinda ruined. But yes, I'm making breakfast. I have some of your favorite foods cooking."

She hummed as she tightened her grip on you and let her eyes and hands travel along your body.

"It smells amazing," She said before kissing your neck.

"And you look irresistible"

"I'm only wearing one of your shirts" you giggled.

"I know, that's why I said you look irresistible, darling. You don't need to be all dressed up for me to see you like that. You're the most beautiful girl in the world and I just can't get over how good you look in my shirt"

You giggled over the sensation of her soft lips on your skin before melting into her kisses. Only to remember a few seconds later that you were cooking and you had to stay focused on that before you burnt the house down.

"The food!" You gasped and turned around to continue cooking. Sophia laughed but continued to hold you close and press kisses along your skin.

Her fingertips brushed along your thighs and slipped under her shirt that you had on just a little so she could see and touch more of your body, making you weak in the knees.

"unless you want me to set the house on fire because I burnt breakfast, you should keep your hands to yourself"

"Impossible" She whispered and kissed your shoulder.

"But okay, I'll stop. Only because the smell of the food is making me very hungry" You shook your head and kept cooking.

"I love you though and I love it when you wear my clothes. So you better wear them more often" she playfully said.

"If it means you'll be this touchy, I think I'll have to start wearing your clothes every day" She chuckled at your response.

"And I love you too, very much"

You turned your head so she could kiss your lips and when you pulled away, she just kept you wrapped in her embrace as you cooked and talked about whatever came to mind, both of you enjoyed the rare morning off together.

[rin-solo]

ALRIGHT, I AM FINALLY REBLOGGING THIS<3

Amazing post! I really enjoyed reading it. Now, I don't think I'm going to go too deep into my own theories because I want to do my own (more story- than music-based, though) analysis (will probably do it saga by saga so as to avoid the word count problems ...)

Overall really thorough, so I'm going to add just a few things here and there:

I strongly believe Just a Man is a prophecy in some way, or at least heavy foreshadowing (deliberately picking imagery for each saga in Act 1): comet/meteor -> TROY; candle/blaze -> CYCLOPS; ripple/tidal wave -> OCEAN; reason/blame -> CIRCE; man/monster -> UNDERWORLD (I'm not going into detail on why I believe this for now because I will be in my post eventually.)

Fun (?) parallel that came to mind: Odysseus claims to be the "man who, unlike you, has mercy" to Polyphemus (which is an at least partially inaccurate claim spoken out of resentment) and later does the same with Poseidon in Get in the Water (my beloved 🫶), except there it's much more genuine and much more presented through other words/actions rather than outright stated (making it a lot more authentic and accurate.)

Odysseus was 100% correct in going to Aeolus, and I am tired of people criticizing him for this, sorry. I mean, Hermes later tells us literally that "no mortal can pass Poseidon's storm," meaning that they couldn't have gotten past that storm without divine intervention. The few animatics for Storm that exist probably massively undersell how bad it actually was (I'm actually currently making my own one because I think this song is underrated.) And then it's also not Odysseus' fault that the wind bag was opened; apart from not trusting anyone with the wind bag, he actually didn't do anything wrong in the Ocean saga. Going to Aeolus is really the more responsible thing, in my opinion, rather than trying to survive with a fleet of ancient, very sinkable ships in an impenetrable storm. They would've all drowned had he not decided to do something about it.

I wager Aeolus' "Keep your friends close" was trying to give Odysseus a hint at how to beat her game. I don't think she was setting him up for failure, as some believe. If he had actually kept his friends close, he would've probably won. I am convinced that Eurylochus wouldn't have opened that bag if Odysseus had actually entrusted him with it.

THANK YOU for everything that you said about Ruthlessness. The amount of people who misunderstand that song .... sigh. And yes, I believe the ripple/tidal wave reprisal was deliberate, not just because this is the tidal wave to Remember Me's ripple, but also because this is Poseidon's own ripple to 600 Strike's tidal wave.

I've actually always interpreted the ending of There Are Other Ways as Circe "opening her heart" somewhat, as she has now been shown that she is potentially hurting good/innocent men by striking first. Odysseus proved to her that such a thing exists, and she might actually be rethinking her approach now (I hope so; as understandable as her actions are, they're still harmful.)

Thank you also for pointing out how "No longer you" only means "not the man you are right now" as opposed to "a monster," as I've seen so many claim.

And, last but certainly not least:

If the (heart)beat signifies looming/imminent/perceived danger by at least one involved party, I am eyeing very, very interestedly the fact that it disappears as Odysseus finishes his "... just go home" speech in Get in the Water (my beloved 🫶) and is present neither during the 3-second pause nor "Maybe you could learn to forgive?" Hm, yes, very, VERY fascinating indeed...

... Of course, I was going to close off with this one 😂

Anyway, that was really fun to read and I hope you enjoy my additions :) I'm very curious what you think, actually!

Epic Analysis - Act I

So I made a joke a while back about analyzing the themes of the musical and that'd be ten pages long and it turns out I'm not that far off considering just act I has ~checks mark ~ 8 pages and over 4K words lmao.

I want to preface this by saying I'm pointing out things that I have noticed while listening to it - I'm no way claiming to be right about anything, and there things I may have missed or may have misundertood.I don't have a degree in music nor am I a professional writer/songwriter, so you can interpret the points bellow however you wish.

And to follow along with.

Red - Song titles

Orange - repeated sentences that appear later on.

Blue - motifs

I hope you all enjoy and please do me a favor and like and reblog this with your thoughts because I lost a good amount of brain cells doing this.

Also, please share your thoughts and theories, too <3

And if you kindly could like and reblog so this can reach new people I'd be greatly appreciated.

The Horse And The Infant

We get our first introduction to Odysseus' electric guitar with his motif.

We also learn a bit about Odysseus himself - he can operate well under pressure, he is a good captain who knows the strength of his men and he also says: "Neo, avenge your father (Achilles) kill the brothers of Hector"

We hear a heartbeat when he's thinking about Penelope and Telemachus. (This will be important later on, trust lmao).

Zeus appears and we can hear his synth base.

We hear the music box that will later be heard again.

Odysseus begs Zeus to not make him kill the infant.

"Please, don't make me do this"

"The blood on your hands is something you won't lose, all you can choose is whose".

Just A Man

We get our first introduction to Odysseus' acoustic guitar.

But when does a comet become a meteor?

When does a candlе become a blaze?

When does a man become a monster?

When does a ripple become a tidal wave?

When does the reason become the blame?

When does a man become a monster?

Is important to note that the acoustic guitar disappears completely as soon as Odysseus decides that he has to kill the infant to ensure the lives of all of those he loves. It's also important to note that despite providing Zeus with alternatives, he still does what it takes as he said he would not long ago.

Here we also learn of Odysseus' hunger - And his is vastly different from pretty much any other character - because his hunger is about seeing his wife and his child - is not literal, but rather metaphorical.

And another interesting fact - we hear a choir singing back Odysseus' words back to him and that won't be the first time that it happens.

There's a possibility that's the crew doing so - but if he's in the wall and they're bellow, how exactly do they know what's happening there? And how can they hear what's he's saying?

I point this out because Jay himself has claimed that only gods can summon their own choir, so - what exactly is happening here?

Full Speed Ahead

We are introduced to other character and one foe that arguably poses more threat than the gods - hunger.

And Odysseus has enough hindsight - at that moment - to know that there was something was off because he could see fire but no smoke, which is an interesting thing in and on itself considering that we often say that "where there's fire, there's smoke".

He also stops Eyrulochus from barging in the island and states that he should go ahead with Polites, because they could find a way of no one ending up dead.

But when Eyrulochus states that they don't know what's ahead, Odysseus says that if they don't return six hundred men can make the whole place burn. (This is interesting, and quite telling if I say so myself).

Full Speed Ahead serves to drive the plot forward, but also gives us insight into Odysseus' mindset prior to Polites' death.We close the song with Ody's eletric guitar again.

Open Arms

We are presented with Polites' philosophy about kindness and greeting the word with open arms.

"You can relax my friend"

"Greet the world with open arms"

We can hear a (heart)beat - not to be confused with the heartbeat we hear in the name of Penelope - as soon as the minions ented the sound space with "welcome" and the beat remains there until we hear Polite's say: "See".

I said not to be confused with Penelope's because this beat does sound like a heartbeat - it picks up the pace and slows down but is not present in every song nor is it present in every section of the songs it shows up in - which leads me to believe it might mean something (unless it's a random beat, but I'm being honest I have a hard time believing that).

So our first theoretical introduction to this sound happens when they are near perceived danger - but we all know what the danger motif sounds like at this point (which I won't tackle because is everywhere and it doesn't feel necessary as off now).But the beat disappears as soon as the situation is resolved and it does not appear again.

And again, Odysseus is warning the winions that if they don't make it back safely, his men will burn the island down. And here, Odysseus presents Polites with the idea that Open Arms with no discernment can sometimes lead them down a path they do not wish to go - "that's what you get with open arms".

But when they manage to "succeed" living by what Polites' said, Odysseus begins to ponder which is why Athena shows up.

Warrior of The Mind

We are introduced to Athena as a character and we hear her motif for the first time.

We hear the heart(beat) again as soon as Odysseus asks Athena to show herself. So here it seems to be present again near perceived danger, or at the very leas near the unknown.

And we hear his electric guitar motif right before she asks what his name is.

Polyphemus

Again, we hear the electric guitar and his motif but on a different scale than what we usually get (I'm pretty sure)

And not for the first time, we have Odysseus having enough awareness to notice that something is off, because everything is too perfect.We hear the heart(beat) again once Polyphemus asks "who are you?"

Here is the first time where said beat can be perceived at different metric sections than they'd normally be for a normal beat, here they are present in certain words.

At first, we hear it constantly until Odysseus says they come in peace, and they stop and come back in the word "sheep". It appears between that and favorite, and appears again in "favorite", again in "right" and "deep", and then in "know" and then the beat is gone.

But is important to note that in this first section, we only hear one beat per minute.

It stays gone for a good portion of the song and it shows up again as soon as he stops saying: "A gift for you and a gift from me" and it sounds a little bit more stuttery in this part but is gone again before Odysseus says his name is "nobody".

And we hear the electric guitar again in this section. And then the beat again - this time two beats per minute.

This is the first instance in which we hear the beat associated with actual danger, but not only danger but also presented in a context of someone claiming they come in peace right after they kill a sheep that was there just minding its own business and then in a context where one of the parts is being manipulated but has also made up their mind about things will end.

As for the song itself, there are some things I find interesting in it because I don't think we talk enough about how the themes are connected, or about this particular theme that I'll touch on again.

But Polyphemus asks Odysseus what gives him the right to deal that kind of pain - i.e: the pain of losing his friend sheep, and asks him if he doesn't know that pain he sows is pain that he'll reap and proceeds to warn him that he'll learn that is not so fun to take."A trade you see, take from you like you took from me".

Everyone talks about how this line is foreshadowing to him taking Odysseus favorite person from him - and it is! But it also shows us something else: Consequence (which isn't the first we see off and won't be the last). Odysseus himself will later say he didn't lose any of his men in the war - because up to that point - he was a brilliant commander that thought up an idea to bring a horse into a city so that they could win, but before Astyanax - which is a point I'll make later on -, Odysseus was never presented with the consequences of his own actions.

This isn't an argument about who was right or who was wrong - but objectively, about the principle that every action has an reaction, and that's when Odysseus will learn this the hard way. So the song and the character are telling him (and us by extension) that Odysseus entered the cave, killed the sheep and that actions will have consequences. He obviously didn't know that he was killing something important to someone, especially someone that could kill him - but that's the thing, whether he knew or not doesn't matter to Polyphemus. He still felt the pain of losing the sheep, and because he felt that pain, he had to make Odysseus feel the same.

There was an action, that action caused someone pain, and so because of it, that pain must be felt in the same way to be understood.

And then again we see Ody's mind at work - with him tricking Polyphemus with the lotus wine -. Odysseus is trying to fix the situation with a gift - as a way of saying, I may have taken something from you, but here I am giving you something back -.

"A trade you see, a gift for you and a gift from me"

I also find it interesting that Odysseus talks about the power that's in his hand when referring to the wine. I understand that apparently it was Dionysus' wine, but if we think about another possible meaning, it could also refer to Polyphemus own thirst (and his father's, by extension) which is the thirst for power, not on the traditional sense but rather on the sense that he felt his power over the island and the sheep was taken away, so in order to gain it back, he must kill the people that took it from him.

Survive

We hear Zeus' reprisal of The Horse and The Infant but I'm pretty sure the tempo is a little bit faster than what it is in the previous use of it.It could be because the same way Zeus ordered Odysseus to kill Astyanax, he's ordering his men to kill Polyphemus who also happens to be a child Cyclops - but I think there's more to it than that.

We hear the guitar again.

Odysseus explicitly states he's ready to kill. "Is just one life to take".

"When we kill him then our journey is over"

We don't hear the heart(beat) here at all.

And then Polyphemus takes over the song and the motif as well, and kills Polites.

And then he says "You've hurt me enough".

"Six hundred lives I'll take, six hundred lives I'll break, and when I kill you then my pain is over" (Sidenote, I was looking at Spotify and the lyrics there were "then my deed is over" and it make me question everything because I always heard it as pain and everywhere else has as pain so yeah, Spotify sucks).

Going back to the point, I always found it interesting that Polyphemus would say that when he kills the men his pain will be over. Because it made me wonder - does he mean his literal pain or the psychological one? Is not like he didn't care about the sheep - he did - quite a lot. So is it possible that he's not referring to just the physical pain but a different one too? Because here he sounds more vulnerable than he did in the previous song when he says "enough, you've hurt me enough". He doesn't even sound angry, but rather quite vulnerable.

So if my interpration is correct - this is also the first time that Odysseus sees the emotional pain he caused on one of his foes, but is also the first time we have another character stating that for said pain to be over, the thing that caused it has to be dead.

Remember Them

This is Odysseus "coming to terms with his losses" (I'll touch on why this is on quotes later). But we again get his eletric guitar and Odysseus resilience being brought to the forefront.

He goes back to his military mindsight quite fast considering what just happened, and he delivers his orders very fast at that moment.

And after a whole song without the (heart)beat - it appears again when the other cyclops appear in the soundspace and ask "Who hurt you" and it disappears as soon as Athena appears.

So here the beat appears again in perceived danger - but also when someone is actually hurt.

And this is when Polyphemus is presented with the consequence of his own actions as well. He killed some of Odysseus pain out of retribution because Odysseus killed his sheep - so now Odysseus stabs him in the eye so that they can get out of the cave -.

And now, instead of killing the Cyclops, he decides to let him live, which will have consequences. As I said before, one song ago Odysseus was ready to kill him, but he had no qualms about doing so either; however, as soon as Polites dies Odysseus' whole mindset changes.

He decides to spare him like his friend would have wanted, but he also gives his own name away due to what I can only surmise to be resentment. Is almost like he's saying: "This is the man, that unlike you, has mercy".

Also, this is what Odysseus says:

"Remember me. I'm the reigning king of Ithaca"

"I am neither man nor mythical"

"I am your darkest moment"

"I am the infamous Odysseus"

And again we hear a choir in the background as he says all of this. Could the choir be the crew? Maybe - but if that's the case, why would they enter when this is singularly about Odysseus himself?

My Goodbye

We get Athena's motif again.

This song does a great job of recontextualizing Warrior of The Mind.

We hear Odysseus' guitar again - and I believe we get both of them although I'm not entirely sure if I'm being honest. I touched on this before, but I find it interesting that Athena tells Odysseus that he needs to put his emotions aside while actively being emotional herself. She's the one that's berating him, calling him a waste of effort, she's the one that sings a whole break-up song about it while Odysseus just wants her to be gone.

The lyrics and the musicality show us that Athena does care about him - we can feel that especially after Odysseus tells her that she's alone because of the notes on the piano, is almost like his words have a physical effect on her -.

Storm

The trumpets!

And we have Aeolus' motif.

Luck Runs Out

"How much longer 'till your luck runs out? How much longer 'till the show goes south?"

You rely on wit and people die on it"

Here we have Odysseus blindly deciding to ask a god for help. When we consider the fact that he just lost his best friend because he decided to barge in some place he shouldn't have, his choice to just climb to the top and ask for help makes even less sense, unless, you consider the fact that he took Polites' advice about "just asking for help" to heart.

Then Odysseus states that he still believes in goodness and that people can be kind - and we'll later learn that remains to be true even after everything - but he doesn't seem to grasp, yet, that blind goodness/kindness can have consequences - is no wonder we always say that no good deed goes unpunished.

Now, remember when I said that before Odysseus could both grasp when something was off because of the lack of smoke or because something was too good to be true? Why does that change? And it does, because he should've known how gods are - hell, he just had a huge blowout with one a few songs ago -, so why does he lose this hindsight all of a sudden?

Eurylochus' concerns are very valid - he has a point about Odysseus' relying too much on his wit to get people out of situations. He shouldn't have questioned him in front of the entire crew, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a point.

Here, we also get a glimpse of Odysseus' current state - he says that he took six hundred men to war and that none of them died there -, which is true, but why isn't he addressing those who died after?And get the (heart)beat all over this song too.

Keep Your Friends Close

We have the (heart)beat again.

Is interesting that Aeolus' remark about keeping friends close and enemies closer led Odysseus to be distrustful of his crew, and yet, the god didn't say not to trust the crew, she just said: "Keep your friends close".

But because of what just happened one song ago, Odysseus doesn't feel like he can trust the bag to anyone else, which means he doesn't switch shifts with anyone and ends up falling asleep.

"So much has changed, but I'm the same".

Storm motif.

Full Speed Ahead motif.

Poseidon shows up.

Ruthlessness

Oh, this song!

First of all, the lyrics do a great job of presenting us with Poseidon philosophy and character

"Guess the pack of wolves is swimming with the shark now" This line here, oh is beautiful. Because Poseidon acknowledges that Odysseus and his men are dangerous (the pack of wolves) and that they can be brutal in their own right - he's not taking away their merit like many would in this circumstance -, but he's saying they're swimming with the shark (him). Meaning: They are under his domain now, under his control, and he now has the upper hand because he's not only distant from them but also has more power. (Credit to Mortius for the amazing analysis of this line)

"Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves"

I touched on this before, but I needed to highlight how I have seen far too many people completely miss the point of this song - not only on YouTube but also here, for some reason -. People argue that Poseidon asked for an apology which Odysseus didn't give and that's why he killed most of his fleet.

No.

The entire song is an exposition of Poseidon's philosophy - it's a way of showing us that he doesn't believe in mercy or kindness, that he believes that in order to survive one must be ruthless at all times. He's literally saying: "If you had been ruthless and killed my child, I wouldn't be here right now because I wouldn't know who did it".Or even then - I don't think he'd have sought Odysseus out. The reason he does is precisely because Ody decided to be merciful instead.

So is not like he's looking for a genuine apology - there was nothing Ody could've said that would've made Poseidon spare him -, he's just toying with Odysseus at that point.

Odysseus' apology (which he gave, in the ancient Greek way) wouldn't amount to anything.

We hear the (heart)beat again as soon as Poseidon tells Odysseus is time to say goodbye but it gets faster as soon as Odysseus enters the sound space and it stops completely on the word "scape".

"Captain, captain, captain"

When does a ripple become a tidal wave?

"When does a man become a monster?

"I am your darkest moment"

"The monster that always draws near"

We actually get Odysseus' acoustic guitar here too. Now, I'm still debating why Jay decided to reprise Just A Man here, especially with the ripple and the tidal wave (obviously, because they are at sea and all that, but I believe there's more to it than that).

If we follow the idea of consequence, it could suggest that this is the ripple effect of Odysseus choosing to spare the Cyclops, but it could also imply more about the Vengence Saga.

And as I said before, is interesting that Poseidon states that he's a monster and I wonder - did he mean it literally or figuratively? And I also wonder, how does Jay mean it? Because the whole concept of the man and the monster - besides reminding me of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and how in said book the allegory presents the duality of human nature, and how the balance between darkness and light is what makes one truly human - makes me believe that we might have an allegory at play here.

If - and that's a huge if - Jay is going for a similar allegory with Odysseus' arc it makes sense that he'd choose two disparate symbols of it (the man and the monster).So share your thoughts on this topic because I'd like to know.

Puppeteer

Full Speed Ahead motif.

There's a debate about whether or not Ody knew Eyrulochus was the one who opened the bag but we can talk about this later.

Circe's motif.

Here - we are once again presented with the theme of hunger - for food and for a woman/ for sex (let's be real) - and the "a woman" line always takes me out. We also get some context into Circe's character - a woman turning men into pigs once she feeds them -.

At first, we aren't clued in on the reason why she's doing. All she says is "think of your past, and your mistakes. They'll be the last mistakes you make".

And we again are presented with someone who has power and seeks to maintain it. This is our first introduction to her - she simply states that she has all the power and that she's not playing with people, but rather manipulating them like a puppeteer does.

She has the strings and she controls the outcome because she can twist and bend people to her will. The closest we get to something deeper is with the line "the world does not tend to forgive".

Wouldn't You Like

Hermes! I love him but there's not to say about this song, except that Hermes tells Odysseus that Circe can make him fall in love with her - so the fact that she tries and fails tells us exactly how much he loves Penelope.

Done For

Odysseus' guitar and motif.

The heart(beat) is very present here.

Here we are presented with more information about Circe's motivation. She states that she has people she needs to protect, nymphs she can't neglect. So in order to maintain control and power over the situation, Circe preemptively strikes before any harm can be done to her or the people she cares about.

Odysseus here tries to trick Circe but she doesn't fall for it. And the thing, Circe and Odysseus' reason isn't different at all - both want to protect the people they care for, but they're going at it in different ways.

She does tell him that the last time they allowed people to live, they faced a heavy loss. We don't know exactly what happened, but once can only assume that it wasn't pretty, so Circe learned from it and decided to use of her art of persuasion to get what she wanted.

There Are Other Ways

Here, Odysseus starts to repeat back what Circe said in her own song, almost as if he's slowly following her lead, until he thinks about Penelope and we hear her motif and her viola.

Here Odysseus vulnerability and the proof of his love for his wife is what convinces Circe to help them. She must've come across countless men before and I think is safe to assume none of them denied her before.

And that's the thing about Circe - when presented with a good reason to help, once she realizes that Odysseus just wants to go home, that he loves his wife so much that even after twelve years (lol) he remains faithful to her, and is desperate to see her, and that's a good enough reason to help him.

Circe already knows who she is, already knows what she's capable of and what she's fighting for.

Odysseus is on the way to figuring that out.

The Underworld

Full Speed Ahead motif.

"All I hear are screams"

The bells we hear are ringing the same notes that we hear in The Horse And The Infant as soon as Odysseus finds Astyanax.

"Captain, captain, captain"

"This life is amazing when you greet with open arms, whatever we face we'll be fine if we lead from the heart... Greet the world with open arms".

"Waiting" with Odysseus' motif on a different scale on the piano.This is the first time Odysseus truly addresses what has happened and what he's gone through.

Here he is, looking for the prophet to help him get home, and yet he's being haunted by the voices of those he lost and their last thoughts before they died. Yes - he's hearing their literal screams as they pass the river Styx, but is more than that. For the first time, he can actually see the consequences of his own choices and his actions.

No Longer You

Tiresias' motif.

"There is a world where I help you get home, but that's not a world I know" - This line here is brilliant, because not only addresses the fact that in the original poem Tiresias does tell Odysseus what to do and what to avoid, but it also further solidifies that this is very different from the original epic.

I see a song of past romance (Siren's song)

I see the sacrifice of men (Scylla's throat)

I see portrayals of betrayal (Mutiny)

And a brother's final stand (Lightning bolt)

I see you on the brink of death

I see you draw your final breath

I see a man who gets to make it home alive but it's no longer you

No Longer You is a great way of setting the stage for the next act, by providing Odysseus with a vague warning about a man who is hunting and a man with a trail of bodies behind it, it allows his mind to wonder and the ponder who that man can be. The interesting thing is - Tiresias is telling that the man that makes it back home is no longer him - as in no longer Odysseus, as in no longer the current Odysseus -.

At that moment Odysseus already has a trail of bodies behind him. Whether or not the deaths in the cave were his fault isn't the argument here, but rather that they happened and happened under his command. But here Odysseus is presented with a future and a past he can't change or can't control.

Monster

Odysseus' guitar motif that gets pulled away.As discussed by my amazing mutual @rin-solo in her Monster essay, Odysseus is non-judgmental by nature.

Monster is Odysseus debating if mercy is not the thing that has been killing his men all along, if him caving to guilt is the reason they're not making it home. He's not justifying the actions of his foes, he's not saying they're morally right in doing what they're doing.

Is the Cyclops struck with guilt when he kills? Is he up in the middle of the night? Or does he end my men to avenge his friend And then sleep knowing he has done him right?

When the witch turns men to pigs to protect her nymphs Is she going insane? Or did she learn to be colder when she got older and now she saves them the pain?

He's simply questioning if these people are allowing themselves to be stopped by guilt or by mercy, he acknowledges their perspective, he acknowledges that them doing the things they way they're doing them is what keeps them alive.

"Ruthleness is mercy upon ourselves"

Here Odysseus addresses those he lost again, and is the first moment where it feels like he's really allowing the grief and the hurt to set in.

I said it before and I'll say it again, Monster doesn't seem to about Odysseus choosing to become a monster because he wants to, but rather because he feels is the only thing he can do under the circumstances. With the context we get from songs that will come, Monster seems to become more and more about Odysseus not wanting to feel guilt about the choices he knows he'll have to make to make it back home.

He wants to throw the guilt he feels away:

"Does a soldier use a wooden horse to kill sleeping Trojans cause he's vile? Or those he throw his remorse away and saves more lives with guile?"

Monster also seems to be Odysseus' way of starting to understand his own morals, of coming to terms with them, of accepting things about himself that he didn't seem willing to do up until this point.And once again, we hear a choir in the background singing the words back to Odysseus.

[steelthroat]

*looking at my history notes*

"Okay so this is 4.7k words long, I usually can read at least 40/50k words of fanfiction a day so I should be able to..."

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

[ukulelegodparent]

Just went to uni and instead of doing anything spent 3h agonising about ending my relationship. I'm sure this is good and normal

[suddencolds]

. not snz

on healing and on fear (tags)

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

[kennys-parka-jacket]

Bbhbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbhhhhhbbbhhb

[lost-victorian-sailor]

im looking at all the amount of stuff i need to learn in a year in order to score high on the exams and go to the university and i already hate it. i hate the process of learning because it is incredibly hard for me. i hate that my memory just doesn't work at most times and like i read things for the 10th time and the second after i remember like. nothing at all. honestly i do not know how i will survive this year. it only gets harder and harder.

[topaztimes]

Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that

[moonchild-in-blue]

maybe i'm gonna paint my nails real cute

[anti-transphobia]

I really REALLY wish people would start saying "have some sympathy/compassion" instead of "have some empathy". Feelings do often impact actions but....they don't have to. And a lot of problems arise when actions are taken solely based on emotions. The type of empathy I'm best at is cognitive empathy - recognizing and understanding how someone might be feeling - and that's a skill that's shaky at best. Emotional empathy I nearly completely lack. I can count the amount of times someone had made me feel their emotions on one hand (I think about three times in my entire life).

But then there's compassion. Compassion you can do regardless of empathy level. Compassion you can do regardless of how something makes you feel. People can have extreme levels of empathy and choose not to try to help someone that they could. Likewise, people can have zero empathy and choose to help someone. Emotions can influence actions but it's not the only thing that matters

I am technically not no empathy, but I'm so low and so bad at empathy and trying to apply it that I'm virtually no empathy. Moments of true empathy are mostly flukes for me. But I'm a very compassionate person! An example is when someone vents or is sad in a discord server that's really not about that/doesn't have a vent channel for a reason. Do you know how that makes me FEEL? Irritated. Irked. If it's a small line or two, fine, it slips out, especially when your reality sucks. Entire unprompted rants? Trauma dumping in the middle of other people's normal conversations? That pisses me off. But you know what I'll often do? I'll say a few words. Generally my policy is that I'm not going to devote a ton of my own energy at my own detriment for a stranger (had an issue with that online as a teen), but if it doesn't hurt me physically or emotionally to give a few kind words to someone hurting, then I see no reason not to do it. It doesn't take much time from me and it makes someone clearly struggling feel a little bit better. There's zero empathy or any kind of "I feel so bad for you" emotions there, and yet, because I generally believe in trying to make things better if you can, I comfort them. I acknowledge that someone is hurting and play my part to remedy the situation

This is why people need to decouple actions from emotions. You don't have to feel ANYTHING to do the right thing. Something isn't "less good" because their heart wasn't in it. If someone drops their wallet and you return it to them solely out of social obligation, guess what? A wallet has still been returned. Someone's money, debit/credit cards, and entire identity, was not lost. Someone was just saved a ton of grief by a simple act carried out by a person who doesn't give a fuck. The results of your actions is, for most every day circumstances, more important than how you actually feel doing them

[pickyperkypenguin]

And I should be on the lookout. It is not working out.

[sideblogsoicanaskquestions]

Hello!

I feel like this may come off as a dumb question but what is Aplationic along side all the loveless/heartless identity in the Arospec

I feel like when I try to understand I am conflating Care with Love

Like I guess what is Love?

Like when I hear Romantic and Platonic from others it very much comes off as basically

You don't want to date

And then everything else falling under platonic

I don't want to date. People are exhausting

Like I just want to know more.

I tired looking in the tag but I just got all the "Your Valid " posts and nothing explaining

Which is just making me feel kind dumb

Like you are valid! I just don't understand and feel dumb

Like I could look it true but I want someone who is Aplationic and all that to explain ut

As it is your identity

At this point I am 100% sure I am ace and I am somewhat sure I am Aromantic but I am just having some trouble with some of the other Identities on the Arospec

This is a mess. I am so so sorry

Basically what does Aplationic mean?