#I am very normal about these movies I promise

[fleetn-crab85]

Shoutout to 80s movies, gotta be one of my favorite genders

[indulgentdaydream]

jason x shy!reader please ❤️

Bashful

Jason Todd x Shy!Reader || Fluff

Word Count: 1,677

Warnings: pretty insecureish reader, gets a little spicy in the middle but no further than kissing (i’m bad at describing it), NOT PROOF READ

🎶Guess who’s back in the house😎 heels click-clackin’ about💃🎶

This has been written FOREVER but I figured Jason’s birthday is coming up so I am determined to finish/post (4/6 are finished) the fics I promised and had y’all vote on BY HIS BIRTHDAY.

It was still fairly early in your relationship with Jason. Some achievements had been made and others hadn’t. He always assured you he was okay with that. With going at your pace. Always a loving smile on his lips as he told you the last thing he ever wanted to do was overwhelm you. He knew you were shy. He said he didn’t care. It never bothered him.

Tonight you had both decided on a movie. It was your apartment, something about his being too dirty and not having had the time to clean it.

You felt like you were going to explode.

You were both sitting on the couch, upright. Jason was sitting normally, leaning against the back of the couch, his feet on the floor. His left arm was around you, where you were snug against his side.

You always felt bad, being so shy around him. He was your boyfriend! Your very loving and caring boyfriend and you were a blushing mess around him more times than not.

You rarely initiated contact, and even when you didn’t you were still a blushing mess

Jason was understanding, of course. He always took everything at your pace. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

You were you. That was far more than good enough for him. He didn’t deserve you.

Or at least that’s what he always said.

You couldn’t even focus on the movie. Something he had chosen. Had wanted to show you. Good lord! You couldn’t even pay attention to the movie he wanted you to see!

You felt horrible. You had to do something to show you cared about him and his interests, too.

He had his left arm around your shoulders, his hand gently resting on your shoulder.

Hold his hand? No. Too simple. Ask about the movie? You didn’t want him to know that you weren’t paying attention.

You shifted lightly, praying you were bothering him, and rested your head on his shoulder.

Perfect!

You made sure not to lean on him too much, even as he hugged you closer. You tried not to breathe too loud or shift too much, either.

You felt disappointed in yourself. It was such a big feat for you, yet it was such a basic thing to do.

Jason took his right hand and brought it to your lap, nudging your knee lightly, “Here.”

You didn’t understand at first, only lifted your leg lightly, thinking that your leg touching his was bothering him.

He gently hooked his hand under your right knee and placed in over his. Then he grabbed your left calf and slowly dragged both your legs closer until they were draped over his lap. He watched your face the entire time he did it.

“This okay? A bit comfier,” Jason asked quietly, a small smile on his face. “Don’t lie.”

Your cheeks were already going red as you gave him a soft smile. You couldn’t maintain eye contact with that soft, questioning look he was giving you. You put your head back on his shoulder to hide your face, “Yeah. It’s good.”

Jason chuckled softly, you could tell it was mostly in relief. He pressed a lingering kiss to the top of your head before turning back to watch the movie again.

“You’re cute.” He whispered, his right hand resting on your calf, his thumb gently stroking back and forth on your skin.

Somehow, this was worse.

You had wanted to initiate more contact and of course your boyfriend goes and one ups you.

Now you were sitting there, half in his lap, your mind racing again. Your back was hurting a little. You needed to shift to something more comfortable. You didn’t want to bother him.

That was the third kiss he had given you since he had gotten here! You hadn’t even given him one yet!

Why hadn’t you given your own damn boyfriend a kiss?

You shifted, finally, out of necessity. You saw Jason glance down to make sure you were alright. He shifted, too, settling more into the couch. His right hand moved from your knee to your ankle. His left hand gave your shoulder a tender squeeze.

You looked up at him, head still on his shoulder. His eyes were focused on the movie, a placid smile on his face. It made you smile, relaxing a bit.

It was rare of him to be so laid back. To have no residual scowl on his face while looking anywhere but you or a book.

A crash sounded from the TV, Jason let out a breathy laugh at whatever the slapstick joke had been made.

He’s just… so handsome. You’re never able to tell him. Most of the time when you do feel like admiring him, he’s already looking at you. That’s when you get awkward, putting your head down, stepping close to his side to let him know you’re not mad at him. He would then wrap an arm around your shoulders, giving you a half hug. Or grab your hand, giving it a squeeze to reassure you. He did it to try and let you know that everything was alright. That he got it. He understood.

You pouted lightly as you continued to look at his profile. You never had the courage to show him how much you appreciated him.

Jason smiled at the TV again and you couldn’t help it. You lifted your head up on a whim and pressed a kiss to his jaw.

You felt Jason tense beside you. You already felt your face heating up all over again. You had meant to kiss his cheek. Now, you were afraid you had made everything far too awkward and it was all—

Jason looked down at you, a questioning, yet shocked look on his face. You noticed how his ears had turned red like he had just stepped inside from the cold.

The corners of his mouth quirked up into a toothy smile at your bashful look, “What was that for?”

You averted your gaze. You could do this. You could compliment your boyfriend, “You… you’re pretty.”

You wanted to slap yourself.

Could you even call a man pretty? Was that allowed?

Jason chuckled, “You’re prettier.”

You gave him a glare, trying to fight the smile making its way onto your burning face.

Jason grinned, acting as if his ears weren’t still red from your compliment. You saw his eyes following the curve of your lips.

He leaned in a little, his nose almost touching yours, “Can I?”

Your eyes darted between his, feeling embarrassed. He always initiated the kisses. Always kissed you and never you, him.

You reached your hands up, cupping each side of his jaw before tilting your head and pressing your lips to his.

You could feel Jason holding back a smile. His arm moved from your shoulders to wrap around your waist instead

You didn’t move away. Your face was burning and you were deadly focused on moving your lips the right way. Trying to match his right. Eventually, you relaxed, letting him take the lead.

This is your boyfriend. He already likes you. There’s no need to be shy or scared.

You leaned back, your hands still on his face. Jason broke the kiss. You could tell he thought you were done, his hands already moving to rest on your waist.

You tugged him back into another one. He accepted it immediately. Slowly, you pulled him back with you until you were laid down, your head against the cushioned arm of the couch. He kept his left hand on your waist. You felt the couch cushion dip beside your head as Jason held himself up over you with his right. His whole body covered yours. His legs were still under you, but he had shifted so that his left knee was pressing into the cushions, balancing himself in order to not crush you. You moved your hands from his face to his shoulders

It felt like heaven.

Your body felt like it was in fiery pits of hell.

You don’t know where this confidence of yours came from. This isn’t exactly the farthest you two had gone, but as he continues kissing you, you feel yourself regretting your actions.

You weren’t ready for this. You just wanted to show a little affection.

What happened to the person who was overthinking kissing his damn cheek five minutes ago?

His left hand moved down, slowly caressing your hip before his fingers began to slip further down, towards the hem of your shorts. It felt nice.

You forgot to breathe. Your lungs were burning. You broke the kiss.

Jason planted another on the corner of your mouth. A couple along on your jaw. Your neck.

You gave the most gentle push against his shoulders. It was barely even a push, more so just pressure.

Jason pulled away like he just accidentally socked you in the face. His hands moving to the couch on either side of you.

You didn’t miss how his face looked as red as yours felt.

“I’m sorry,” he said, eyes wide. “Too much? That was too much.”

You were trying to think over the sound of blood rushing in your ears.

”You didn’t do anything.” You reassured quickly. “I just changed my mind… I wanna watch the movie.”

Jason visibly relaxed, he shoulders losing their tension. He gave you a small smile, “Sure thing, hun.”

He gave a soft kiss to your burning cheek.

You both adjusted until you were laying comfortably on your back, spread out over the couch. Jason was now laying on his side, pressed between you and the back of the couch. He put head on your shoulder, facing the tv.

You wrapped your arms around him, “Are you sure?”

Jason let out a small chuckle, “Of course I’m sure.” He adjusted again to get more comfortable, “Is this alright?”

You nodded, focusing back on the movie.

“Good,” he smiled.

For good measure, you turned back briefly, and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Peep hints of Jason being equally as shy as reader is, but he's just better at hiding it (or at least he thinks he is)

[bucks-babe]

More Virgin Bucky

Pairing: Virgin!Bucky 

Summary: Bucky jerks off to the memory of your movie night

Word Count: ~900

Warnings: male masturbation, mention of past blowjob, Bucky is a horny boy, reader is not in this one but he thinks about them

A/N: The part two that a lot of yall wanted. Am I a tease? Yes. Bucky does not lose his v-card in this one. BUT I will write a part three I promise. I want to corrupt this man so bad. Also, I wrote this in like an hour sooo. Part of the Virgin!Bucky series but can be read alone

One week. Actually eight days and five hours, but Bucky is the only one counting. That’s how long it's been since you sucked the sense out of your boyfriend. It has taken every ounce of control Bucky has to not ask you to do it again. It’s all he thinks about ever since that night.

He would be embarrassed if you knew, but in all fairness, you did this to him. You effectively made him malfunction. Bucky has been fucking his fist practally every night, replaying the best moment of his life. How your mouth wrapped around him perfectly, the slight gagging sounds, and don’t even get him started on how you looked up at him. 

And when you told him to cum in your mouth? Fuck! His cock pulses at the memory. Bucky is a greedy man - he wants more. He wants you to suck his cock again, maybe you’ll suck on his ball this time, get them all wet and slobbery, make him cum without even touching his cock. 

For the past few days of his incessant horniness, he’s been thinking about something else, too. It always starts out with you, his throbbing cock in your mouth, but there is a shift, you on the bed with his head between your legs. He never gets very far into this fantasy before he cums all over his hand and chest. Something about eating you out has him cumming in seconds.

But Bucky can’t bring himself to ask for what he wants. He’s too embarrassed; no one in the 40’s ever talked about eating their girl’s pussy. He wasn’t completely ignorant to the fact that women’s pleasure wasn’t important to men back then, but Bucky didn’t know if what he wanted was normal, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask.

As he lies in bed, once again Bucky feels his cock harden in his pants. Luckily for his pride, he’s alone in bed, and nothing is stopping his flesh hand from inching toward his crotch. His balls are so heavy and full even though he jerked himself off twice the night before, cumming so much he had to change the sheets. 

Grabbing his erection, Bucky hissed in pleasure. No matter how many times he’s touched himself this past week, he is still a sensitive baby when it comes to his cock. “Fuck, doll, touch my cock, just like that.��� Bucky lets his mind wander to his go to fantasy. He imagines you between his legs, that the hand rubbing his dick is your soft palms and not his callused one.

His hips jerk off the bed, chasing friction of his hand through his boxers. “Go ahead, doll, take it out.” When you aren’t there, Bucky is in charge, making himself feel good, directing you in his fantasy. But can’t help himself but let you take charge when he’s with you. He just gets so nervous, not wanting to let you down and never experiencing pleasure so intense. 

He’s trying to take this slow, drawing his pleasure out, but, hell, you make him so damn horny that he just can’t help but push his boxers down to his thighs, past his heavy balls, and ignores the wet spot on his underwear from his weeping head.

Using his precum, Bucky wraps his hand around his head and slowly pulls his hand down to his base. “Oh, God! Just like that!” He has to squeeze his base to stop himself from cumming at the first stroke of this hand.

Scrambling, he pushes his boxers down to his ankles and spreads his legs, “doll, touch my balls, get them nice and wet.” His metal hand cups his ever growing sack, “shit, yeah that feels fucking great! You feel how heavy they are? All that cum is going down your throat tonight. You hear me, doll?” 

With his metal hand still on his balls, he uses his flesh hand on his cock, imagining your lips instead, you slobbering over his cock, not his precum lubing it. “So good with your mouth, you know that? You’re such a fucking slut.” His thumb traces over the thick vein right under the head of this cock and has Bucky calling you a slut, something he didn’t even know he’d be into, but once that image was in his head he had to take his hand off his cock; he didn’t want to cum just yet. Not when he just started.

Taking deep breaths, Bucky tries to calm himself down, but imaginary you climbs up his body and Bucky knows this is the end. “Sit on my face, doll, and let me eat your pussy.” He closes his eyes for this part, because Bucky has never seen your pussy before, he wonders if you are sporting a bush like the women in his old porn mags did, or if you shave, or wax, Bucky doesn’t give a shit. 

He’s never tasted a cunt before, and has nothing to base it on, but the thought of your entire weight on his face, smothering him with your pussy, makes the most pornographic moan leave his mouth and cum shoots out of his tip without him touching it.

He cums for what feels like minutes before he finally stops and he lays back against his pillow, not having the energy to clean himself off before he falls asleep. He needs to taste your pussy and soon. 

[heart2beom]

cliché

pairing: bsf!yeonjun x reader

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers, crack, little angst

synopsis: after yeonjun hears you referring to him as someone who's like a brother ...he tries his hardest to make you see him as a potential boyfriend.

or in which you're perplexed at all the movie hangouts your friend has been initiating.

warning: mature language, reader is assumed to be fem

notes: honestly, i always try to cut down the word count to make it more available for people who only read drabbles/blurbs but i just CANT. so here's another short oneshot T-T and as always, reblog to help the algorithm pick up on this :D

yeonjun was confused walking back home -- no, the whole day, he was disturbed. the reason for this was yesterday...when he went to get drinks for both you and him at a frat party.

the crowds were insanely hard to get through (and it didn't help that people kept on stopping him to 'catch up' or whatnot) so it took him more than fifty minutes to come back with the drinks he promised to get.

but it looked like it was too late because the people you were surrounding yourself with when yeonjun was there...disappeared. instead, you're bundled up, alone in a corner, with a guy he does not know. which was already weird because yeonjun knew everybody, and that was enough reason for him to hurry his ass up through sweaty frat drunks and make sure the unknown guy isn't some sleazeball.

that time he wasn't aware that he rolled his eyes but he did conciously plan to squeeze himself into the conversation...and technically cockblock.

but when he neared you...that's when his world shattered...on more dramatic terms. it was more like his confidence was shot down to the deepest depths of hell.

"oh, yeonjun? pfft, he's like a brother!"

even though it was almost barely audible due to the blasting music, 'brother' to his ears were magnified -- the word circling through his head.

brother. brother?!

and as a result of this baffling situation, he had backed himself in an opposing corner with your cup in his right and his cup in his left, way further than you now, thinking of where did it go wrong?

he's never had someone friend-zone him -- for heavensake, he's yeonjun, he's aware of how attractive he is. but brother-zone? that was even worse of an attack!

it doesn't matter that you said it -- come on, that's barely the case. it's the fact that someone was so unattracted to him that he was seen as a sibling.

sure, you and yeonjun were a sort of bunch that have been together since... forever, really. seriously, you were friends since elementary -- when you joined the school, fourth grade, mindlessly kicking rocks at recess he approached you like the social butterfly kid that he was, asking you if you wanted to come play with his friends.

once he took another sip of the red cup in his right hand, the fruity punch being way too overbearing (just how'd you like it), he furrowed his brows together.

he definitely doesn't see you as a sister.

he'd have to admit that when middle school hit and his puberty was acting up around ...the seventh grade? he was convinced that he would eventually marry you like the way his parents were. a brother wouldn't have felt that way about his sister! normally that is...

granted, he mostly blamed that on the first strikes of puberty because right after middle school, he moved on from the thought -- completely abandoning his pre-puberty dreams, but that was besides the point!

he was getting nauseous from the sweetness of his drink and the further he thought about the way you thought of him, he felt that he would ruin the party by vomiting on someone.

his night was officially ruined. absolutely, fundementally, literally ruined.

and thats how he found himself unfocused on everything around him the next day, finally making the decision to consult with his roommates about this frankly, very big conundrum.

"you can't just purposefully leave out important details? like, how am i supposed to diagnose you properly bro?" beomgyu asked as he spammed the keys on his controller.

"you're not diagnosing me--" yeonjun exhaled, wanting to to keep the banter to the minimum in respect to the issue he's facing. "literally what do you think we're doing right now?"

"i'm going to be completely honest and say ...i have no idea-- shit, what the fuck are you doing heeseung? jump! jump!" he yelled towards the big screen in front of him.

yeonjun groaned, turning his head to behind the couch. "soobin, it's not too late to help out your only friend!" he yelled out in hopes of it reaching the guy's bedroom.

and with no response, he turned back to watching the game beomgyu was playing. "god, you know how many times i gave that guy life changing advice on women?"

"and this is how he repays me?"

beomgyu nodded along to whatever yeonjun was mumbling about until the brunette magically connected dots and euphoric realization hit him. beomgyu almost scrambled around to completely face him this time, "hold on, hold on. yeonjun you lost me, are you having girl problems?"

to that, yeonjun rolled his eyes. "i wouldn't call it 'girl problems', that sounds like a problem soobin would have."

"uh-huh ...uh-huh. no, no yeah." beomgyu said nodding mindlessly to save the guy some face. "heeseung i'm logging off dude, yeonjuns got girl problems."

yeonjun just deadpanned to the back of the guys head, having no will to correct him.

he wanted to get the pending issue out of the way first.

it was more situated a few minutes later. instead of beomgyu sitting on the floor criss crossed, leaned on the couch yeonjun was sitting on, beomgyu was now sitting on the chair next to the couch, his elbows on his knees, brows deeply furrowed.

and not to forget yeonjun's pen and paper in hand.

"so... you're trying to get a girl to like you?"

"not like. i want her to see me as someone she would want as a boyfrie--" when he saw beomgyus brow raising up as to say 'whats the difference' he cleared his throat. "yea, basically."

"don't you know how to do that though?"

he shrugged, "it's different this time."

"how?"

"trust me, it's very different."

"okay but how?"

"you'd be the last person i'd ask for an interrogation beomgyu, that'd be a task for like... taehyun or something."

"i'm sorry that i need to understand my client first--"

"i am not your client" yeonjun said, rolling his eyes.

"what's going on here?", yeonjun turned his head to see soobin behind the kitchen island, scooping himself some icecream.

"dude, where were you when i needed you?", yeonjun asked.

"me and yj are holding a dating therapy session."

yeonjun turned his head to beomgyu, "again, it's not a therapy sessio--"

"you're getting dating advice from beomgyu?" soobin asked, his face scrunched up doubting if it really got this bad.

and back to soobin. "when you say it like that.." "soobin can you please leave yeonjun alone? he's in a very vulnerable state right now"

then beomgyu again. "i'm seriously going to beat you up." he said, biting his bottom lip and raising his fist against his roommate. beomgyu immediately jumps dramatically, shielding himself with his arms up.

"see? he's getting violent!"

soobin finally plopped on the couch next to yeonjun with his cup of icecream. "explain it to me, maybe i can help you out."

"i'll save you the trouble, he's not explaining for whatever reason--"

"a girl said that i'm like a brother to her." yeonjun reluctantly mumbled.

a wave of silence hit the dorm, for a minute yeonjun thought they just didn't hear him and to be completely honest, he was about to thank the gods because he regretted saying anything the moment he did, but that thought was immediately shot down when both sides of his ears were being blasted by humiliating laughter.

soobin got up, patting yeonjun's shoulder as reassurance, still laughing. "yeah, good luck with that hyung."

"okay, it's not even that bad--"

"dude, not even cha eunwoo would survive the sibling zone." beomgyu said, a hard reality check for yeonjun. "though hyunbin might.." he mumbled to himself. yeonjun caught it though, but it didn't matter. yeonjun was no hyunbin.

"fuck." he breathed out, the utensils he was holding had lesser grip on them as he just stared into nothingness. beomgyu was right. he's forever stuck as a brother in your eyes.

but then a ring of his phone snaps him out of it.

when he checks the id, his ambition is restored almost immediately for whatever reason; it was you.

"yo why are you smiling?", beomgyu said trying to peep at yeonjun's phone, but yeonjun reflexes took over, and he immediately turned his phone off.

"beomgyu, don't you think i kind of resemble hyunbin?" he said with a head tilt and an overconfident smirk, talking like he just had an epiphany.

"the one from crash landing on you? uh no."

yeonjun jumped from the couch a new man, his pen and paper in one hand and his ringing phone on the other. he finally faced beomgyu as the man he was, choi motherfucking yeonjun. "i gotta answer this call...and also, if you ask anybody who my celebrity doppelganger is, everyone would proudly say its hyunbin dumbass."

then yeonjun left with a smile and a surge of new confidence overtaking his face as he spoke away on the phone with you, while beomgyu was left in the living room more than confused as he looked up the actor on his phone.

instead of finding the difference, beomgyus brain was tasking him into finding the similarities...which, there was one to yeonjun's credit.

black hair.

"when are the others coming?" you asked looking around the crowded floor as yeonjun was buying popcorn and drinks. "the movies about to start.." you mumbled, checking your phone for the hundredth time.

"oh, i guess its just me and you again." he said with the popcorn and bottle of coke finally in his arms.

"again? don't you think this is getting suspicious?" you said as you walked alongside yeonjun, not noticing the way yeonjun just gulped.

you stopped in your tracks, in turn yeonjun bumping into your back a little, a few popcorns dropping on the floor.

"hey...you don't think.." you furrowed your brows, in deep thought. this has been on your mind for a while now. "you don't think they're trying to set us up or something do you?"

after the third time your friends stood you and yeonjun up, you were starting to think they were pushing, what they called, the 'ynjun' agenda..but it was the first time you'd ever bring it up to yeonjun, so you just laughed it off -- scolding your friends will come on a later date.

"nevermind, lets go inside the movie theatre jun."

"ya' y/n, wait."

you turned around to an awkward standing yeonjun at first, but he immediately straightens up and clears his throat, with a smile you've grown so attached to -- the smile that reached his eyes. for something so simple, it made your heart beat a little quicker than normal.

"can you hold the coke for a sec? i'm trynna--i'm trynna do something."

you break into a light laugh, "um, okay." that snapped you out of it because you remember who he was again -- your platonic best friend.

you took the cola bottle off his right arm, expecting him to take his phone out of his pocket to check something.

but as you stared at your sneakers, checking if they're untied, you felt his hand on top of your head, which startled you.

you looked up to meet yeonjuns eyes, a brow raised.

before you could say anything, he ruffled the top of your hair gently, leaning towards you a bit, to shorten the height difference.

"y/n, let this be our first date." your platonic best friend's voice, so warm and gentle you thought you would only hear in dreams, said those words...to you.

"so you asked her out on a date but you don't even like her...? that doesn't make any sense." soobin said, sitting on the couch watching beomgyu hog up the tv screen, his use time running out.

"bros an asshole..but i feel like we knew that already-- fuck you heeseung. you fucking suck ass you need to get off my team." beomgyu yelled.

"okay, first of all, it's not that bad. she doesn't like me at all, plus the date was how we would usually hung out anyway."

soobin just shook his head -- being the only guy with a functioning moral compass amongst the people he called his friends was exhausting.

as soon as he was about to lecture yeonjun, the tv timer goes off -- and that makes his plan a fleeting thought.

"it's my turn now, throw me the remote."

"bro give me a second, let me finish this gam--"

"no! unplug your console." soobin yelled impatiently, he knew better than to let beomgyu go over the timer again.

beomgyu groaned, abandoning heeseung in the game and unplugging his console. when soobin got control of the tv and opened up netflix, beomgyu stood up to sit next to yeonjun -- who had gotten a notification from you.

"yj, who's the chick? you never told us."

"uh, you don't really know her." he mindlessly answered, focused on the messages from you.

[y/n, 9:16 pm] that serenade ..as cringe as it was.. [y/n, 9:16 pm] like lets be serious, there was NO reason for u to get on top of the cafeteria table lol

he hadn't yet told his roommates what he did this morning, thinking that he'd get a longer lecture by soobin.

but he had took inspiration from the movie you guys were watching the other night at the cinema. you talked his ear off about how romantic it was, how you would fall at the feet of dicaprio if he did the same to you..

he was no dicaprio, but he could try is what he thought. and though you forced him to get down half way through, he could still enjoy sharing the laughter, your laughter, that was ringing in his ear.

[yeonjun, 9:17 pm] as cringe as it was...? you're in love w me ;)

he typed it as a joke, a smile tugging on his lips waiting for your reaction to his teasing.

but beomgyu hovered over his phone out of boredom again, and out of instinct yeonjun threw his phone -- the three chois looking at the phone on the floor in shock.

"bro, why are you being so secretive? were you sexting?" beomgyu yelled, accusatory.

"can we collectively have some decency in this house, jesus fucking christ beomgyu." soobin muttered.

"shut up church boy, yeonjun's hiding something for sure."

"or maybe he just wanted some privacy dude?" soobin retaliated.

yeonjun jumped up pointing at soobin, "exactly! exactly! listen to soobin, you were invading my personal space. so not cool beomgyu."

"yeah, okay. you've never agreed with me with this much enthusiasm before. he's hiding something. quick, check his phone." to soobins order, beomgyu was prepared to run to the phone when he made eye contact with the owner -- but yeonjun was quick.

"good god, wait wait. what do you want beomgyu--fuck, if you wanted her name it's y/n alright? the chick's y/n!" yeonjun doesn't do well under pressure, at all.

"what are you talking about--" beomgyu's face morphed into shock with his mouth agape. "--oh my fucking god. yeonjun, y/n's the chick? the one who brother zoned you?" beomgyu yelled.

"yeah...?" he said hesitantly.

"i can't--i just can't. soobin knock some sense into him." beomgyu turned away dramatically, shaking his head.

"yeonjun--" soobin started.

"dude, y/n has been in love with you for like a decade!" beomgyu blurted out, turning to face yeonjun again, interrupting soobin.

"uh..no? guys, i literally told you that she said she sees me as a brother. i saw her telling some guy that at the frat party last week."

beomgyu walked towards yeonjun, grabbing both of his shoulders, shaking him, "she. didn't. brother. zone. you. you stupid fuck!"

"she's been saying that to people because its so obvious that every time she tries moving on, she still likes you." soobin added in.

yeonjun, with his brows furrowed, tore beomgyu's hands off his shoulder -- walking towards his phone.

and it felt like a million thoughts were racing around his head the three seconds it took for him to get his phone, like a storm, a big tornado clouding his mind. but the most heavy was...how long? a fucking decade? and he never noticed?

he found it hard to swallow, almost nervous...that it was true.

the two other chois were staring at him, exchanging glances.

and when he picked up his phone, it was like he feared.

his text was left on read.

yeonjun's roommates were right for once.

all the secret glances he'd catch, a smirk twitching on his face as he pretended not to see, all the times you'd practically asked him out -- he shot it all down subconsciously thinking it was nothing more than coincidences on top of coincidences.

"you know, i was thinking it was weird you freaked out so much about the brother thing. yunjin told you that right to your face like last month and you didn't say anything." beomgyu said as he let himself fall on the couch.

beomgyu was right, he didn't care when yunjin said it.

yeonjun looked at beomgyu, eyes confused. "so...what are you trying to say?"

"maybe you feel the same way...? god, do i have to spell it out for you every single time?" he said dramatically, groaning.

"okay yeonjun. drama's over, go do your walk of shame to your room." soobin said, getting comfortable on the chair again to watch the premier of his show.

"and reflect!" beomgyu shouted out as yeonjun went over to his room, obeying soobin with his phone tight in hand.

"what are we watchin?" beomgyu finally asked, soobin giving him a side eye in response.

"we? beomgyu, i'm not watching another show premier with you again."

"just because my commentary is too good doesn't mean you have to get all jealous--"

yeonjun bursts out of his room through the narrow hallway that lead to the main door, a coat hanging on his right arm as he hurriedly slipped on his sneakers.

it startled both of the guys on the couch, looking over at him with brows raised: what is yeonjun doing?

no one could get a word in, not even beomgyu, before he was totally out of sight.

only adrenaline was rushing through his veins as he shut the door behind him, putting his arms through his padded coat, and sprinting to the elevator -- frantically spamming the button to make him falsely hope the elevator would reach his floor any faster

it wasn't like he had to do something in the ten minutes his head thought he had left, no, it was the realization that had him acting in urgency he never thought he'd have for a girl. all of his stupidity dawning on him -- for fucksake, of course it mattered that you said he was like a brother, it was you.

and as he ran out the building -- his head felt dizzy, not because it was overwhelmed with thoughts, no, this time he only had a few but those were harder to manage his head.

did he ever give up on you in middle school?

did he ever move on from you in highschool?

did he really dump a dream, you -- the dream he had as a boy, with all the other dreams he never thought would happen?

when yeonjun was finally in front of your family house, the one you still chose to live in through your college experience, he moved to where'd he guess the window of your room was.

"y/n?" he shouted out with all the energy he could muster up. he had to bend over his knee to catch his breath, because he would shout your name again.

again, and again, and again.

blood rushed up to his cheeks, not because of the cold, because he was embarrassed -- what if you weren't even here?

he waited, staring up at the window which showed no sign of your room light being on.

but he wouldn't give up, he'd have to try something else.

yeonjun looked down at his feet, the absence of the sun being harder on his vision. there were no rocks, the only thing visible to his eyes were branch sticks which only made him hope that his aim was good enough to get your window a few times.

it wasn't.

when the last stick that he found hit a window that wasn't the one he was trying to aim at - he cursed under his breath, defeated. yeonjun concluded that this was a bigger fail than the fucking time he found out that he was flirting at a family--not a class, reunion.

he could just go back to his dorm and call you is what he thought as he exhaled, a fog escaping his lips into the cold, feeling even more of a loser.

"yeonjun?!" he turned around at the familiar voice calling out for him and his eyes widened, lighting up as they set on your face, finally out of the window, with your room light making it a little easier for him to see your features.

"y/n?" he shouted back, ecstatic.

"what are you doing out here?", you shouted the words slowly so he could pick it up. then add, "it's fucking cold!"

"i just wanted to know" he inhaled, the cold air burning his nostrils, "why you didn't answer my text!"

it was silent, yeonjuns lips agape waiting for a response.

"you're fucking insane!" you said laughs slipping between your words, yeonjun scoffs lightly, a wide smile on his face.

he put his hands up as walls to his mouth to echo his words louder, "for you!" he shouted out in response.

"shut the fuck up!" it was a distant yell, one you both assumed, as you met eye contact, was y/n's neighbors. and then you laughed again at the untimely part of it all.

when you turned away from the window, yeonjun found himself yearningly waiting for you to come back. hands that were in his pockets felt a vibration -- his phone.

he took it out just to see a notification from his, quite frankly, favorite person ever.

[y/n, 10:26 pm] lets talk on here lol

he looked up and saw you at the window again, with you waving your phone at him -- it earned a smile tugging once more, on the ends of his lips.

just how did he manage to ignore overwhelming feelings about you, of you, for the past decade?

[yeonjun, 10:27 pm] come down. i'm not gonna tell u this thru text [y/n, 10:27 pm] why not? [yeonjun, 10:27 pm] don't wanna [y/n, 10:28 pm] youre asking me to get out of my cozy ass room just bcs u dont wanna??

"yeah! basically dumbass!" he shouted, startling your poor self out of your focus on your phone. you glared at him, yeonjun most likely missing it.

[y/n, 10:28 pm] STOP DONT DO THAT THOSE PSYCHOS ARE GOING TO CALL THE COPS ON ME [yeonjun, 10:29 pm] ok then come down before i freeze my fingers off

when you slid your window closed, closing your curtains, he immediately turned to quickly run towards the front of your house. yeonjun leaned on the fence of your porch, smiling with thoughts of you clouding his mind, as he looked up at the moon.

it was all so cliché -- the type of scene his roommates would squeal over and one that he would roll his eyes to, but if he were to watch this part of his life, again and again -- the moment you opened the door, the moment you both exchanged looks that communicated 'we feel the same way don't we?', a short awkward laugh that was shared, the moment you hesitantly opened your mouth to say something -- and then, the final moment of his longing lips crashing onto yours, his cold hands warming up the moment he cupped your face, the repocracy from your side making him smile into the kiss, the euphoric realisation that he wasn't late, you didn't stop loving him yet, and when he cut the kiss short, both your lips barely apart, yeonjun whispered an i love you, and to it you smiled, pulling him into your house, to finish your kiss -- he would too, squeal over the scene, kicking his feet like a highschool girl.

ending a/n: YOU FINISHED IT YAY :D yeonjun was lowk an asshole for wanting to lead on mc at first for his own benefit, but hes such a cutie im sorry, its easy to forgive T-T let me know what you feel about this piece, it was so fun to write!!

[lavandulawrites]

Fleeting Promises

Yandere Aventurine x reader

This man is truly something else<3

Masterlist

Warnings: imprisonment, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome

Word count: 734

Aventurine was sitting on the lush and expensive velvet couch in the extravagant living room. He was flipping through a fashion magazine filled with the latest trends that were all over the cosmos.

On his lap laid your head as he had ushered you to use his lap a pillow. He ran his hand through your soft hair as he held his magazine in the other. He hummed as he traced your right cheekbone.

“You are truly beautiful. Do you know that?” his voice a purr as admired you with a dreamy expression.

You closed your eyes. “You tell me that every day, you know.”

You could feel him chuckle at your comment.

His fingers returned to your hair as he twinned a lock around his finger. Though it appeared innocent, you knew very well what that gesture meant. You are mine was what he meant as he gently tugged on the strand.

“Oh did you hear about the rumour about the actress that played in that huge movie? Dreamers Ball? They all say she slept with some rich old man who owns a planet, only to scam big sums from him, without him seemingly knowing. Well I met her today o. a little mission I had if you can say that. And what a bitch! The rumours really are true, I am sure!” he trailed off as he saw your confusion.

“Oh… I forgot. You aren’t allowed outside. How utterly foolish of me” he chuckled.

You looked up at him and was met with eyes filled with obsession and madness. His mouth pulled back into a teasing grin.

This was all one of his sick games. He just wanted to rub it in that you couldn’t leave the house without him. He was in charge of you every waking moment and you knew that very well. He claimed he did it from his goodness of his heart and for some reason you believed him. He was as mad as they came, but his love was really. Almost too real. It felt like a cage and for some reason you felt home in that cage.

Before all this, you were a seemingly normal couple. As normal as it could be with a man who was absolutely obsessed and tapping your phone, but the love was real. And it still is. You did still love him, but you longed for freedom.

“Mmm…” you hummed. You sat up and moved away from him o the couch, so you were pressed against the opposite armrest. Even with your gaze toward your feet, which were firmly buried in the soft rug, you could feel his intensive gaze. He was looking through you. He was peering into your very being. Looking through your microscopic cells. His gaze hungry.

“What is it my love? Something bothering your pretty little head?” his honeyed voice sneaking itself intro every crook and cranny of you body. “Talk to me darling.”

You could feel the couch slightly dip as he moved to sit besides you. His arm snaking itself around your shoulder. He rested his head on top of yours and sighed. “You know you can trust me right? I would do anything for you. I have done everything and I will continue to do so. Over and over again” he pressed a kissed to your head and continued to talk with his mouth against your hair “But I need you to talk to me. Communicate. I want to know your innermost thoughts. I want to know all your troubles, feelings and dreams. I want it all. And I know you do too.”

As his smooth voice continued on, talking about his day, his love for you, shitty colleagues and whatnot, your eyes became heavy. It didn’t take long before you drifted off into a deep sleep. Safe and sound. Just like the golden haired man with the most stunning eyes promised.

You dreamt about flowers, endless meadows, the blue blue sea. You dreamt about magenta eyes that were a vibrant blue around the iris. You dreamt about soft kisses and whispered promises.

You were happy. You were safe.

Just as he promised.

He held you in his arms as he kissed your cheeks one by one. “You are safe here with me. You don’t need anyone but me. I will bring you happiness and no one can take you away from me. Ever.”

[alpaca-clouds]

Arcane & Disability - From the Perspective of a Sensitivity Reader

Alright. I promised this a month ago, but just did not get around, because university and work were all too stressful. But still, it is a topic that keeps to be on my mind, after the end of Arcane season 2. While season 2 was a mess in general, when it comes to pacing and characters and dialogues, to me – a disabled person – one of the biggest issues really is how the series treats disability. This was already a problem in season 1, but because of the bad pacing and the fact that a lot of characters clearly did not get as many scenes as it was intended at first, making this issue worse.

So, before someone asks, who am I to judge this: While my main job is in IT, I usually do at least one book or other project in sensitivity reading per month. I just rely on the IT job to know I have a constant income, if I do not manage to get a SR-job for once. But yes, it is part of my real-life job to critique writers on this kind of stuff.

So, let me talk about the disabilities in Arcane – and what is the issue there. I will go through different characters for this.

Spoilers for season 2, obviously.

Zaun and the Chem Lords

Let me start with something that mainly is in the background. We do see the Chem Lords once in season 1 and once in season 2 – though there for a prolonged scene. And a lot of them are disabled in some way and most of them are disfigured in some way. We also do see some of the “normal people” in Zaun, who are often disabled – using some sort of prothesis – and also often disfigured. And while, sure, the show portrays it as part of the tragedy that Zaun is so exploited that there are so many people who are very disabled, but at the same time the Chem Lords are not at all portrayed in a sympathetic light, and even those background characters of Zaun (like the woman, who lost her child to Jayce and Vi) are not exactly treated sympathetically.

Before anything else, we need to establish one important thing about disability in this show: Pretty much all disabilities in this movie are acquired disabilities. Which is fair. By far most people IRL who are disabled do acquire their disability during the course of their life. Through sickness, through accidents, and also through simply aging. However, there is some issue to the fact that we see very little in terms of variety to the disabilities.

Sure, you could argue, that technically Arcane has more disabilities, than pretty much any other western media project – and you would be right. But let’s face it here: The bar is on the ground – if not underground.

But the main issue is, that for the most part the Chem Lords and a lot of those minor disabled roles in the movie are not at all portrayed sympathetically. The Chem Lords are just minor cannon fodder background villains, while the background characters are also mainly villains. Sure, I have seen a lot of fans a bit more sympathy for their motivations. But in the show? Well, we mainly see how they attack main characters and almost kill them.

This could work, mind you – if we had a counter example of good disabled characters. But that is not quite the show that we got. For the most part.

Sevika

If season 2 had not been the mess that it was, Sevika probably would be the one counter example to all of this. While in season 1 she mainly is just “the goon” for Silco and we get very, very little in terms of motivation for her, season 2 (or rather what was probably originally multiple other seasons) clearly at some point had a character arc in mind for her. Even as it was, we did learn a bit more about her motivation and such.

While I had originally just taken Sevika mainly as someone who was working for Silco, because it was the most promising opportunity for her (given there are not a lot of chances in Zaun). Not because of some ideology.

But Season 2 proofed me wrong, there. We learn not much about Sevika here, but we learn that she actually was with Silco out of conviction that what Silco was ultimately doing was making Zaun better. She understood that Zaun needed a leader figure and she thought that Silco was possibly the best leader they could have had. Now that Silco is dead, she tries to prop up Jinx as the new leader, because she understands that this is needed.

Given the place that Sevika ends up in – as a councilor for Zaun – I am gonna assume there was some version of this (one with more seasons) where Sevika had gotten an arc, this would have been more of a focus. Her learning that instead of popping up someone else as a figurehead, she had to be the one to lead people. However, we clearly did not get that version of the story.

Still, I am possibly going to argue that the fact that she did not get this arc, is less connected to her being a clearly disabled character, and more to her being not a champion in the game so far. So generally speaking, I would still argue that despite it all, she is the one disabled character in this show, who I think is generally portrayed the most favorable.

Silco

I know, some people will now ask: “How the fuck is Silco disabled.” But for once, yes, he uses a cane at times, but also, he has a facial deformity, which is in fact counted under the disability umbrella. While technically speaking a facial deformity does not always stop people from being capable of working, the discrimination of people with facial deformities has to do a lot with the favoring of healthy bodies, and how this is connected to beauty norms.

And Silco… Well, how to put this best? From what is there in season 2, I am going to assume that there was a version of this, where there had been more time to tell the story, and we would have gotten a more sympathetic portrayal of Silco, where we went more into his motivation. Season 2 does hint at the fact that indeed, Zaun under Silco was a lot more stable than in any alternate scenario, and that Silco did in fact really try to make life better for the most possible people. But that is it: It very much hints at it, but never fully goes into it.

We know this is all bound to the lady who was the mother to Vi and Powder, but how we never get explained. And yeah, this is an issue. While I do not think that originally Silco really fell into the typical trope of “person has a facial deformity to signify their evil�� (something that shows up in a lot of media – including Disney movies and a ton of James Bond movies), the fact that we never really go deep into his background and motivation, he somewhat falls into the trope here. And that really just because probably all the stuff that went into him as a character was just cut for time. And yeah, fuck. It is a big issue here. If the rest of the show was not as messy as it was, it would be less so – but given the state this show is in and the way the other disabled characters are portrayed… Oh boy, this is a problem.

Singed

I actually thought a lot about whether to put Singed in here. Because yes, he clearly is disabled and has deformities. But also, in the version of the show we got, he almost feel like a footnote of a character. However, I decided to at least go quickly into him, because again: You cannot put in most disabled characters as villains, and then make someone who is very, very responsible for a lot of the bad stuff that happens in this show and make him disabled as well. And yes, I get that Singed is disabled in the game, and that he is a somewhat bad character in the game as well. But that does not undo the harm this does within the narrative of the show. And you need to understand that. While yes, you can argue that his end goal (reviving his daughter) can be considered as somewhat sympathetic, it is not addressed enough to make him a complex and nuanced character. And again, he very much is responsible for many of the bad things that happen.

Jinx

Okay, let us talk about Jinx. She is the character, who I had the biggest problem in season 1 with – and season 2 did not really make it better. Because yes – until loosing her finger in season 2, generally her disability is her mental illness that clearly is chronic and unlikely to ever fully get away. And this is a big, big issue.

Because Jinx’s mental illness is from about the same line of mental illnesses that villains in the Batman comics have. Like sure, we can argue that there are some aspects in there of some sort of Borderline, PTSD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, and such. But for the most part her mental illness exists mainly to be edgy, and weird, and strange – much like Harley Quinn’s and the Joker’s disability. We know that those two characters were major influences on Jinx.

And look, I will admit, that Harley Quinn is a character I do generally enjoy. But that does not change that yeah, Harley like Jinx is a bad character in terms in representing actually mentally ill people. Because the focus of the character is to be weird, and cool, and somewhat entertaining. While yes, some of the symptoms that Jinx is showing are based on symptoms of real mental illnesses, as mentioned above, the way she is experiencing them is mainly there to be nice in a visual and entertaining kind of way. And that is… Well, it is an issue. Especially given that her mental illness mainly does also show in her violent tendencies.

Don’t get me wrong: I have known people with some of the diagnosis that one could probably read into what we see in her, and some of those people were in fact quite violent. At times only verbally, but in some cases they would also have a hair trigger before they would start and try to shove and punch people. So yes, this part is not technically speaking a thing that is unrealistic.

However, if someone was going to hand me a book, where the one character, who very clearly is written with a mental illness is depicted as a sort of maniac, who is part supervillain, and part manic pixie dream girl, that mainly exists and is the depicted the way she is to cater to a presumed straight male audience. That really is an issue.

Nothing that I can say about Jinx is exclusive to Jinx or Arcane in the grand scheme of things. A lot of these tropes are around for decades now. But that does not make them less harmful. On the contrary. They are actually worse because of it, as this kinda will play into the confirmation bias of people, who do not have to deal with mentally ill people very often. And I wish those tropes would die.

Sure, we can argue the fact that at the very least Jinx is portrayed in a somewhat more positive manner (just as Harley Quinn is these days), is at least a tiny step forward. But it is still not a good way of portraying this. Just not the worst way anymore.

And of course then there is the fact that for now she actually dies in the end of the show, just as pretty much most disabled characters in this show do. And that… is just not a good look.

Isha

Oh boy. Isha is something that came out of nowhere and really was one of the main reasons of me wanting to write this thing. Isha is mute. And here a little bit about muteness in real life: Most mute people are deaf-mute. So they are mute, because they were born without the ability to hear properly, and hence never learn how to pronounce properly, despite technically having a voice box. People who can hear and are mute – like Isha – probably are mute because of some mental illness. Some people go mute because of trauma, some neurodivergent people are non-verbal (so they don’t speak) or can be non-verbal under stress. (I fall under this, at times. I do have days on which I just cannot properly speak.)

With Isha we never learn why she does not speak. She just doesn’t. She shows up, attached herself to Jinx, and then is basically Jinx’s own Manic Pixie Dream Girl, just in the “little sister” way, rather than the “romantic” way. She mainly exists just to bring Jinx back into functioning enough that she can partake in the rest of the plot. And once she has archived that, well… She dies. Again, like almost all disabled characters in this show fucking do. She is merely a plot device.

And again, given some of the hints that are dropped, I do assume there was at some point more to her story. But we did not get that version of this story. The version we got? Well, she is the mute manic pixie dream girl, who gracefully offs herself once her plot function has been fulfilled. And this more than anything to me is so fucking egregious. If she was not disabled this was already bad enough, but given she is disabled? This is fucking horrible – especially again in the context of a show where most disabled characters die.

Basically what the show tells me – a disabled person – is that my main worth as a person is to die for ablebodied people. Thanks Arcane, needed to hear that. Great job. Hope y’all are proud for creating this show.

Viktor

Lastly there is Viktor. And mind you, there was a moment in this where I had some hope for his arc in terms of disability representation. Because while I will usually rage a lot about “healing disabilities” in fantasy and scifi media, his case was one where it was understandable. He was not trying to heal himself because he so desperately did not want to be disabled anymore, but because his never properly defined sickness, that was responsible for his disability, was degenerative, and he was going to die very early without a cure. And even with that in mind, once something bad happened because of it – when Sky died – he stopped it, because he realized it was too dangerous. While I had some minor notes of how this was handled in season 1, I thought it was fairly good.

And in the beginning of season 2 I actually kinda liked it too. It was not him who chose the healing, but Jayce. And once Viktor woke up from his coma after the magic healing, his first reaction was to be angry with Jayce about it. Partly because of the danger he understood, but partly also because Jayce violated Viktor’s bodily autonomy. I liked that. It was good.

However, it only went downhill from there. Because whatever anger Viktor had from that moment on, it was gone. Sure, you can argue with Viktor’s actions how much of it came from the core/the hextech/the arcane, and how much came from him. But never the less: He quickly is fine with being healed, and then becomes a sort of villain. And also goes ahead to heal other people of their illnesses and disabilities. Some of them consensually, which is somewhat fine though again for the aforementioned reasons of the eugenic implications of the “healing the disabled” trope has, but in some cases also non-consensually. And that is just… not good.

And then, in the bloody finale, he is kinda the final boss. He, the disabled person. Sure, Ambessa is the leader of the fascists, but Viktor is kinda the final boss.

Sure, I could say something about it being nice to have a clearly queer disabled character. But you know what? All of that pales against the fact that in the end of it all, Viktor has to be sacrificed for the happy end for the ablebodied people.

You know, in some other version of events I would have liked the fact that Jayce does acquire a disability in those last few episodes. While it is not quite clear whether this disability is gonna be chronic or not, it does not matter, because he, too, gets sacrificed. Guess he is no longer as valuable given that he is disabled now. Or at least that is the feeling that comes up.

Conclusion

Look, here is the thing: None of the characters in question are written in a way that is so egregious that if it was just this one example it would be a problem. And hey, some part of me is like: “Hey, at least there are multiple disabled characters,” given that this is still fairly rare in western media. (I am currently getting spoiled by Japanese shows. Ranking of Kings, Sign of Affection and so on are doing a much better job at portraying disability.) But given that most of these characters are villains or end up as villains on the long run, and most of them end up dead? Yeah, fuck Arcane. You do not get points for depicting disabilities in a way that clearly communicates that actually the lives of disabled people are less worthy than those of ablebodied people.

Look, whatever you have been told about Sensitivity Reading: Like editors in book publishing, Sensitivity Readers have little power. All we can do is say: “Hey, this is some really unfortunate implication here. Maybe you should change that.” But authors and publishers can absolutely ignore our feedback. Talking with other sensitivity readers there were a couple of examples where all the feedback was ignored.

I do not know whether Arcane had a Sensitivity Reader who gave feedback on the depiction of disabled people in this show. But I am going to assume if there was, they were very probably ignored. Because yeah, I am sorry. This is just overall not good.

Yes, this show has more disabled characters than most western shows. But again: If those characters are mainly villains, and mainly die by the end of the show… Yeah, sorry, Arcane, you do not get a gold star for including them. In fact, given how the characters are shown, frankly, I would probably have preferred it if the characters had not been disabled in the first place.

[yurmomsawh0r]

•°His Perfect Little Wife °• - p2

You and Nanami’s relationship has been a little difficult during your pregnancy and one turn of events has you ready to divorce him. But Nanami would never let you leave. You were his wife and he’d never let you go.

@delightfulmoonbanana @i-killed-a-prostutute @muzanswaifu @ebonydumbslut

Sorry it took super long! I’m pregnant with a toddler and it’s super hard to have energy to write anything, but I’m definitely coming back on here because YALL, I have soooo many ideas in my notes for tumblr and oof I can’t wait to drop them! But I hope you enjoy part 2 it’s different from part 1 because I kinda had to make it a small story but anyways enjoy 😊 💙

Prompt idea by @ebonydumbslut

“ I’m literally fina write a whole plot feel free to just take parts from it but I’m thinking For his perfect wife maybe yandere and Angst like since y/n pregnant she hasn’t been at her best with waking up on time doing things for her husband hasn’t felt like having sex so her husband hires a maid and y/n can tell that she is trying to take her husband away being to Close and saying things like “ofc I will make you food if you were my husband with how hard you work I would make sure you didn’t even have to ask he doesn’t see it but y/n does he’s also been a little distant and hasn’t been able to see her much because when he comes home y/Ns sleep y/n know this and stays up untill he’s home and by the time she gets all pretty for him she walks down stairs to see her husband and the made doing something that looks inappropriate (yk how In the movies someone walks in at the wrong time and it looks wrong) anyways she runs to her room and he goes after her to tell her it’s not what it looks like and y/n is getting ready to go to her moms house or something she tells him that he can have the maid and she’s going to leave and this is we’re the yandere starts he tells her she can’t and what about there baby and whatever else you want he makes y/n feel bad and she stays then he shows her how much he loves her by yk having sex’s loud to the maid hears everything while there having sex he tells her how she knows that she can’t leave because she needs him she’s to much of a dumb slut to do anything without him all she’s good at is being his perfect little wife y/n falls into this brain washing and promises she will never leave and that she’s his and will always be you could also put some fluff in there sorry for how long this is I Basically could have made the book for you😭”

CW - Yandere-ish, Manipulation, mentions of cheating, pregnant reader, penetration, pregnant sex, cursing, pet names, mentions of a divorce

Part 1 here

–

Nanami was frustrated to say the least. Between working extra hard and keeping your need’s satisfied, he definitely had his hands full. He wiped the sweat from his brow as he typed away on his computer. It was going on another late night and he had many things to get done. It always felt like he’d never have another second for himself or for you.

A knock on the door had an oh - so, very tired Nanami shifting in irritation. “What?” Came his groggy, stress filled voice. A subordinate of his walks through the door. A file in his hand. “Sorry sir. I just wanted to drop off my report you requested.”

“Place it in the black tray.”

The man did what he was told, quickly placing it in the tray and making his way out of the office.

Nanami glanced at the clock and seen that is was going on 1 am in the morning, making a sigh leave him. He knew you’d be in bed by now. You both couldn’t seem to catch a break. Nanami thought about the conversation you both had about hiring a housekeeper. You were about 4 months pregnant and you’ve grown quite a lot. It was getting hard for you to keep up your regular routine.

Nanami has even taken it upon himself to be home more to help out, but it was definitely putting him back, which resulted in him having many late nights and causing him to be way more irritated than normal. Anytime you both found a moment to yourselves, you would be to tired to do anything. You slept way more than you normally would these days, which he didn’t mind. It wasn’t your fault you ended up pregnant.

It was decided, he would take it upon himself and hire a housekeeper as soon as possible once he was able to cut back his work load.

~*~

It’s been about 3 weeks since the new maid started working for you both. She had tremendously been a big help around the house keeping things tidy and organized. Although you’ve had more help around the house, you still haven’t been able to see your husband for a while. The times you both did run into each other, he would always seem irritated with you. You knew work has been hard since he’s been catching up, so you decided to suck it up and do the things he normally liked.

“Oh! I see you cooked dinner Martha!” You honestly weren’t surprised. The past week she had been taking over in the kitchen before you even had a chance. “It was no problem. I understand that you’ve been tired lately.”

Although that was true, you usually pushed yourself to cook dinner for your husband but you haven’t been able to because she always did. It kind of bothered you, but you decided to try and be grateful for all the help.

“Well thank you, I can prepare the plates for dinner, as well as Nanami’s lunch for tomorrow. You can take the rest of the day off.”

“Oh no need ma’am. I already prepared his lunch as well as his plate for dinner.” She spoke. This was another thing that bothered you. She always took it upon herself to do more than she needed. You even seen that she left a note on his lunch one time. It was a small “Have a great day at work.” But you felt as though she crossed a boundary. This was your husband, not hers. Leaving notes wasn’t in her job description.

Before you could say anything else, the front door opened and in walked your husband. You went to greet him as usual. Helping him remove his coat and hanging it up for him. “Hi honey! How was work.”

He only grunted. “It was work.” Was all he said and brushed passed you, not a single glance your way. Not even a small forehead kiss as he usually did. An ache in your heart throbbed through your body.

In the kitchen, you could hear Martha speaking to him. As you went to peak, you seen her placing his plate in front of him and pouring him a glass of wine.

You couldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt you to see the small act, but it did. Your own sensitive emotions plus being pregnant didn’t help, the tears started to flow. You turned on your heels and made your way to your shared bedroom skipping dinner that night.

Weeks had passed and still nothing had changed, well except you did. You weren’t yourself. You had completely stop doing your house work and just left it to the maid since, she took it upon herself to do everything. So you just rested in bed most of your days falling asleep when ever he felt like it.

You haven’t seen your husband for most days. By the time he came home you were already in bed passed out.

Martha had also been getting a little too close to your husband for your liking but Nanami didn’t seem to care to stop her advances so you assumed that maybe your were making things up, but you couldn’t help but think about all the little smart remarks she took it upon herself to say.

“Wow, you’re such a hard working man, if you were my husband I’d be sure to reward you everyday.”

“Would you like me to give you a massage sir?”

Maybe she was being nice? Maybe you were reading into it a little too hard. Either way Nanami didn’t seem to mind her forwardness so maybe you shouldn’t either.

Having enough of your pity party, you finally decided that it was time to put an effort in getting your husband’s attention again.

That night you got yourself all clean and dolled up in one of his favorite lingerie pieces and one of his t-shirts. He loved seeing you in his clothing. He always told you it made him feel like the best man in the world seeing his woman comfortable in his attire. It was almost 1 in the morning, the usual time he had gotten home. You had waited all night, despite being so tired, to see him. Lights shown through the curtains and the sound of a motor vehicle pulling into the drive way shook away any traces of sleep you had in you.

This was it! Tonight’s the night you and your husband rekindled.

~*~

Nanami walked through the door tired as ever. He was finally done with playing catch up and attending hour long business meetings for the month. He’s finally be able to catch a break. He felt as though he had be in a trans working and powering through his long streak, and finally he would be able to settle down for a while.

He made his way to the kitchen to look for something to eat. I was a little after 1 so he knew you’d be sleeping.

When he entered the kitchen, he was surprised to see Martha standing there in nothing but a small tank top and shorts to short for her size.

“Oh! Nanami, I didn’t think you’d be home just yet. Are you hungry?” Nanami only grunted and moved passed her and headed towards the fridge.

“Would you like wine with your meal sir?” The sultry tone of her voice rung in his ears. He eyed her suspiciously for a moment before shrugging it off. “No thank you, not tonight.”

He told her with a monotonous tone. He grabbed his plate that was left in the fridge and placed it in the microwave to warm.

“Alright, I’ll just put this back then.” She had a smile on her face as she strut her way towards the wine holder that was just behind where Nanami was standing.

Just inches away from him, she had stumbled, almost dropping the bottle in the process. Nanami kept forward, grasping her in his arms just as he was able to fall, allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck as if they were lovers about to ignite in a night of passion.

She giggled, pulling him closer. “I’m sorry, I’m such a klutz! It’s a good thing a big strong man like you were here to catch me! You’re just like a knight in shinning armor. And my knight deserves a kiss for saving me.”

As she tried pulling him closer, Nanami started to pull away, but it was too late. A small gasp had them both frozen.

“Oh! My lady! I didn’t think you’d be up.”

There you stood from your stop in the kitchen, watching as your maid and husband were about to share such a passionate kiss. It brought tears to your eyes seeing how good they looked together.

You knew you hadn’t been up to par in taking care of yourself as well as him, but you didn’t think he’d cheat on you for such a small inconvenience.

“Wait! Y/n-“ He called out to you but you just turned and ran to your bedroom to grab everything you needed to leave.

Nanami dropped Martha letting her fall to the floor leaving her in pain as he chased after you.

Once he made it to your shared room, he saw that you were packing a suit case with everything valuable and important to you.

“It’s not what it looked like y/n” he tries to reason with you but you didn’t listen. “I don’t care Nami, it’s not like I haven’t noticed we haven’t been the same in a while. Especially since she got here.”

“What do you mean? I know I’ve been busy, but I’d never do something like that to you. I love you.”

“You don’t love me. If you did you wouldn’t have been all up on her. But it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m done.”

This caused Nanami to freeze. His voice dropped, a menacing tone sounded in his voice. “What do you mean you’re done?”

It sent a chill up your spine but you remained strong. “It means I’m done. I want a divorce. I can’t do this anymore. My own husband doesn’t even want to look at me, let alone act like I exist.”

You finished packing whatever you could and zipped it up, but Nanami was faster than you. He grabbed your luggage and threw it aside, shattering your vanity. “What is your problem! I don’t understand why you are so upset. Go be with your fucking mistress!” You yelled.

“I’m fucking upset because my wife is trying to leave me over a misunderstanding!” He cornered you. His pupils dark and expression angry. It was look you never wanted towards you.

He broke out into a laugh that boomed into the room. “You can’t fucking leave me y/n. You can’t break up our perfect little family that’s just getting started.” His hands slid up the sides of your waist pulling you closer to him.

“I take good care of you and I always will. No matter what. You are mine and I’d never let you go. I need you here with me little one. I don’t know what I’d do if you decided to break up our perfect little life.”

A flood of memories flew through your head. Even images of the future that you thought were to come. You felt a little guilty for trying to leave instead of making things work, but you couldn’t help but think about him being with another woman.

“How long have you been messing with Martha.”

Rage sparked in his eyes as he punched a hole in the wall by your head making your scream. He gripped your chin tightly and forced you to meet his gaze.

“I’ve never touched that fucking woman! She fell and I caught her, nothing more. Do you understand?” When you didn’t respond, he sighed.

“My love. My perfect little bunny, must I show you just how much you mean to me? Shall I show you that nobody can make you feel the things you do for me? Hmm? Must I show you one of the many reason that you love me?”

“Must I remind you who you belong too!?”

~*~

You couldn’t think straight. You really couldn’t think at all. The only thing filling your senses was your husbands dick penetrating you so hard and deep. Your face was wet with tears and saliva that pooled onto the pillow as he drilled into you from behind.

“Ahh, you feel so good little one.” He grunted in your ear. Nanami gripped your neck and pounded deliciously into you. The feeling of your juices getting him going.

It had been too long since you both last had sex and he was going to make it last as long as possible.

“And you’d thought I’d let you leave? With my baby in your womb? You’d thought I’d let another man have you? No, I’d kill anyone who thought they would have a chance.”

Your body shook as another orgasm ripped through you, but he didn’t let up, he just fucked you harder through it. “P-please Nami!”

But your please fell on deaf ears. “No, not until you learn that you can never leave me. You’re mine y/n. You’re nothing but my little dumb slut, my perfect little wife.” He licked up your tears grinding deeper into you.

“Say it! Say that your mine and that you will never leave me! Say that you’ll stay and be my perfect little housewife forever.”

You could feel him going deeper and deeper, skin slapping against each other in perfect rhythm. It was too much, you couldn’t even get a word out. You were moaning so loud and the bed was banging against the wall you were sure it would break. You were also sure Martha could hear everything.

“I’m waiting my little bunny.” Nanami’s voice warmed you. You gushed around his cock even more at his power over you.

He was dominating you. Showing you that you were indeed his. Nobody would make your body feel the way he did. Nobody ever could.

Just as another orgasm ripped through you, you wailed “y-yessss Naaamiiii, yessss i-im yours!”

“You’re my what?” He pressed his shaft into the opening of your cervix making you yelp. “IM YOUR DUMB SLUT DADDY!”

He moaned as he felt you squirt on him. Your essence pooling on the sheets. “Uhhh, that’s it! Let daddy have it all!”

His thrust started to get choppy as he reached his own peak. Spilling all of himself into you. Telling you how much he loved you. How he would never let you go. Ever.

As you both came down, he pulled you into his arms, gently caressing your face and smothering you with gentle kisses. You were exhausted. Falling in and out of sleep with a dazed but satisfied look on your face.

“Fire her.” Was all you could muster up. Nanami laughed and kissed your soft lips.

“Your wish is my command my lady. It always will be.”

You both laid there in each others embraces.

“But don’t think I’m done with you my love. You have awoken a part of me by just telling me your going to leave me. I need to make sure that never happens again.”

His perfect little wife, forever and always.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Can we get the obey me boys(the brothers + dia, barbs, solomon, and simeon) reacting to mc having severe period cramps? Would they get all demon-y at the smell of blood?

Love your stuff btw!

Signed, a yandere junkie~

I'll do two for now 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Period | Yandere Obey Me

For those in the devildom having a draw for chaos and mortal pain it’s quite normal for blood to bring about a different kind of reaction. But to the surprise of no one period blood and the whole menstrual cycle is a complete bafflement to all who catch a whiff. Don’t worry though, you have the brother and your various friends. This surely won’t strike any of them to have an unusual streak in emotion and self-control, right?:

Lucifer

“It’s that time I’m suspecting?”

“Yes.”

“Understood rest easy, take your time to rest my dear.”

“A-are you sure?”

“Of course I'm sure. Do you doubt my promise to keep you?”

One of the most casual about it��

He absolutely has done research for this exact occasion

But nothing is like experience in taking care of you himself

As well as the compulsion that has him being just as reactive as you

“You seem a bit different today Lucifer…”

“Am I? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oooh is that a gift from (Y/n)--”

“dON’t ToUCh tHaT!” 

“...”

“...”

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s with me this week.”

You’re not with him that’s what

For all the necessities he delivers he’s been keeping his distance

Taking the advice of the human care books he gave you your space

After all who better to deal with the human-female innerworkings than a human-female herself

But something feels wrong more than usual 

And it only seems to stop when he returns to your side at the end of the day

“Perhaps the hormones that are at work in you create a…guardian of sorts…out of me.”

He doesn’t really understand, all he knows is that when you were preparing to go to RAD he frantically calmly decided you’d not be attending

His excuse reasoning? That he would hate for any lesser demon to feel what he’s feeling 

That and he’d actually try to kill anyone who shows such similar inclination to protect you

“If anyone should stay to soothe you in this great time of need. I’m not above massacring any threats to you while you’re at your most vulnerable..” 

Generally he’s quite tame

…compared to his brothers

Diavolo

“Hey (Y/n) why’d you run off like that I thought we were having a good time.”

“Diavolo!?”

“Oh…hey (Y/n) if you’re hurt it’s okay to tell us we have tons of things that help heal humans.”

“Ugh! No that’s not what’s happening here!”

“Don’t be embarrassed here i’ll help!”

“Aghghgh!!!! Barbatos! Barb–Ah! Don’t you dare!”

A scolding and prompt lesson from Barbatos is very much in order

For someone so adamant on urging the blending of their worlds he doesn’t really know about this side of humanity

And unfortunately he’s never been one for backseat learning

“(Y/n), we’ve spoken and Diavolo would like to propose a hands-on-lesson with you about your menstrual cycle.”

“Uhm what kind of lesson?”

“One that will require he familiarize himself with all aspects of this process. Something that would preferably stimulate the five senses.”

“....”

“....”

“....Lucifer!!!! Solomon!!!”

Even better it has to do with you

What better way to strengthen your bond by having to monitor you

Not only for your safety but for all of humanity

“Hey later on we should definitely watch that movie together!”

“Oh yeah I thin–”

“I’m sorry but she cannot!”

“What why not?”

“Because she’s coming with me! The best place for a woman on muenster cycle is with me at the royal palace.”

“Uhm that’s not tr-”

“Here I’ll take you now!” 

He’s going to be hard to teach

But once you sit him down or snap at him one too many times

He’ll decide listening to you is the best course of action

In turn it will definitely build a relationship between you two

It may not be as romantic as he planned

But he’ll take it….for now 

After all there’s one every month

“That was fun! I can’t wait until the next time!”

Because he’s actively testing for it he might find some demons and creatures that react to it

But he won’t actively experiment with you in danger

Because it’s just not a good look to brutally murder every other subject of his that has a reaction he doesn’t like

“Next month I’ll have to convince them to let me get a swab or whole container full that’d be really hot.”

[lurochar]

A Snow Day in Hell

Heeey, anyone else remember that ‘special feeling’ meme from years ago? No? Me either

–----------------------------------------------

Hell had frozen over.

Literally.

It was an extraordinarily and incredibly rare occurrence, according to Charlie, who, a literal native demon born of Hell, had only seen it snow once before in her lifetime.

It generally occurred once every few hundred years, perhaps add or minus a century here or there, Lucifer could not be bothered to keep track when Charlie had asked him how often it actually happened since the snow only stuck around for a day at the very most and was just a minor inconvenience.

You were honestly excited to witness such a unique experience and were dismayed to find that Alastor could care less about such a thing.

And so, you had to pester him and even promised him a favour (his proceeding and chilling smile sent immediate shivers down your spine) just to take a stroll with you around town (and would probably regret when he came to collect that favour).

“Of course, Darling! I have no important tasks to complete today. Why, I would be ever so honoured to escort you to town on such a… lovely day.”

You gave Alastor a skeptical look when he glanced outside with an expression that screamed the opposite of what he was saying.

He clearly hated snow.

“But, seeing my partner beg me in such a pitiful manner – well, how can I possibly say no to that?”

Maybe you should have just asked Charlie? She seemed just as excited as you to see the snowfall.

It took quite a bit of self control for Alastor to not let out a dark chuckle at your varying expressions. You may be his companion, but he was still a sadist through and through. 

Maybe it was a bit soft when it came to you though. Just a little bit.

Besides, as irritating and cold as it was, a little snow, that would literally only last for a day, would never hurt anyone, right?

~00~

“It’ll be on any minute now!”

You covered your face with a pillow in pure embarrassment, unable to look at the screen of the TV as Charlie bounced in excitement. 

How did she find out? 

Ah damn, she already gathered the others to watch.

“W-why are you here?” You barely lifted your face enough to eye Alastor, seeing him sitting smugly in his usual chair. “It was you, wasn’t it?! You told Charlie, didn’t you!?”

“Well, of course I did!” Alastor’s grin was utterly demonic and he was obviously taking pleasure in your mortification. “Normally, I am completely against these awful picture box shows and was utterly baffled when you agreed to a… television interview, Darling, with me when you are completely aware of my distaste.”

“Uh, wait,” Angel Dust raised his arm, “you’re on TV, Smiles? How did they capture you on camera? How’d you not, ya know, blow up the whole network with that whole staticky thing you do? Why is Vox even letting this air?”

Everyone glanced over to Alastor, but he answered nothing.

You had no idea either.

“Oh, it’s on!” Charlie pointed with a wide grin and you slumped over, ready to just pack your bags and leave to save yourself the embarrassment.

On the TV, the scene was that of you and a tall figure that was distorted, blurry, and pixelated, yet was clearly Alastor from shape and colour alone. Honestly, you were surprised he was showing up even this much and not blowing out the camera like Angel Dust had pointed out.

It was a simple question, you were only stopped by the news reporter to ask what you thought of the unprecedented snowfall.

You had just been caught up in the moment, the idea of experiencing the whole once-in-a-lifetime thing with your partner.

So you had replied with something straight out of a Christmas romcom movie or something equally as cheesy. You really had no idea where it came from. Maybe the fact that Alastor had summoned an umbrella and was holding it over both of your heads?

It was mainly so he wouldn’t get snow in his ears, you would find out later.

“Isn’t this just amazing? Snow that falls only every few hundred years? It’s stunning, isn’t it?” Your face was beginning to turn red as you continued on without waiting for another question from the reporter. “Being in the snow with my lover like this immerses me in a special feeling. I love it.”

Oh fuck.

How the fuck could you say that with a straight face!?

It was clear that Alastor felt the shame for you, even through his blurry distorted figure, you could see his ears flatten against his head and his head completely turn away from the reporter like he wasn’t there to hear your cringey words.

“Oh my Satan, are you fucking serious?” The news reporter sneered at you. “I just asked you about some fucking frozen water. Not your version of a romantic date you’ll have in your shitty wet dreams.”

You blinked and the distorted Alastor slowly turned his head back towards the reporter.

“This is fucking Hell, not some Barbieland bulls–”

You couldn’t help it and a few of your more demonic features were showing before you could stop them and you grabbed the umbrella Alastor was still holding. “You asked me a question about snow and I answered and then you make fun of me for that!? So what if I want a romantic outing with my lover!?” You shoved the umbrella’s pole into the gut of the reporter and growl into the camera, hearing the cameraman cry out before it cuts out and the interview is over.

.

.

.

There was complete silence.

“W-well, maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.” You scratch your cheek, “J-just forget what I sa–”

“Oh, that was so romantic!” Charlie’s eyes were wide and sparkly, “I never knew snow could make you feel that way.” She gasped loudly, looking at Vaggie. “There’s still time! Come on, Vaggie! We need to go out in the snow to ‘immerse ourselves’ in that special feeling!”

Vaggie just throws you a grumpy look before sighing and following after Charlie.

Angel Dust is laughing his ass off, “Special feeling? Seriously, Dollface? Did that cold freeze your brain cells or somethin’? Well, at least ya showed that dick reporter who’s boss. Smiles, over there, did nothin’.”

“I don’t need him to do everything for me.” You muttered, glancing over at Husk and, for once, glad to see he’s too drunk to care and Niffty had lost interest as soon as she saw a cockroach. 

You looked over to Alastor.

“Are you satisfied?” You asked with a sigh, “Watching me embarrass myself and then lose control on the news that’s aired all around Hell?”

Alastor’s grin widened. “Very much so, Darling. Not only have you provided me with great entertainment, but now you have also given me an excuse to go after the one who aired your follies. I do believe I should give my ‘old pal’ a visit quite soon.”

Yeah.

You really should have just asked Charlie earlier.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Injured II

Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader

Summary: A look back to when there was Mami and Jenni

Before Mami is injured and before there is Olga, there is Jenni.

"Hola, hola," She greets as she lets herself into your home.

You're on your special time playmat with your trains, making them crash into each other while Mami is sitting with you. She's playing trains the normal way and it's a bit boring but you let her because it makes her happy.

"Hola, Jenni," Mami says, abandoning her trains to kiss Jenni when she thinks you're not watching.

"How are my favourite girls today?"

"Trains go crash!" You report, slamming your Thomas against your Percy and laughing gleefully.

"She's just learnt that trains can hit each other," Mami says fondly, stealing another kiss.

"Are you having fun?" Jenni asks you and you grunt your affirmation," That's good."

You grunt again and reach for Mami's Gordon to slam against your Thomas.

"She looks...occupied," Jenni whispers, wiggling her eyebrows.

Alexia rolls her eyes and slaps Jenni in the chest in warning. "No," She says," I'm not leaving my baby alone just so you can get laid."

"So dirty-minded," Jennie teases, tapping Alexia's nose with her finger," I would never dream of abandoning the baby to get in your pants."

"Not baby!" You insist, only really catching the end of their conversation," Big girl!"

Jenni chuckles, swinging you up into her arms. "And what a big girl you are! Look at you! So big!"

"I am!" You agree," Mami, Jenni says I'm big!"

"You're very big," Mami promises you and you nod in acknowledgement, turning back to your trains.

Jenni toes off her boots and heads to the kitchen to put away the groceries. She watches as Alexia returns to playing with you, letting you run your trains over the skin of her arms and crashing them into her socked feet.

"Jenni!" You call out to her," We play tonight?"

"We can play now." She gives you a silly smile as she sits on your other side. "Have you got any trains for me?"

You think for a moment before reaching into your toy box. "You can be Toby Tram," You say," And the Fat Controller."

Alexia smothers her laughter at the semi-insulted look on Jenni's face as she takes the toys from you.

"Why can't I be James? Or maybe Edward?" Jenni asks.

You give her a look that can only be described as condescending. "Because they're sleeping, Jenni," You say, shaking your head," Mami put them to bed."

"That's right," Mami says," I did."

"You have to be Toby or the Fat Controller. You can be Cranky if you want."

Your Cranky crane is at the very bottom of your toy box because he's your least favourite but you'll let Jenni be him if she really wants to.

She winces. "I think I'm good with Toby."

"And the Fat Controller," You continue for her, pushing the two figures together. You slam Thomas against Toby and Mami gets up to make dinner.

You and Jenni play peacefully with each other as Mami cooks and, somehow, you end up sitting in Jennie's lap when you grow bored of your trains.

Her fingers card through your hair as you babble about the day you had with your babysitter. Her arms wrap around you easily as you continue to talk, wiggling your feet happily when her nails scratch lightly at the base of your neck.

Alexia watches you both with a smile as she plates up the food, effortlessly balancing all three in her hands as she comes back. She places them all on the sofa and scoops you up into her arms.

"Dinnertime," She says and you whine.

"Mami!" You say," Was playing!"

"Really?" Alexia replies, amused," Because it looked like Jenni was sending you to sleep with her magic fingers."

Jenni smirks over your head and winks. "You'd know all about my magic fingers."

"Jenni!" Alexia hisses," The baby!"

"Not a baby!" You say," Big girl!"

"The biggest big girl," Jenni promises you, settling on one side of the sofa while Alexia settles on the other and you get squished between them.

Mami puts on an animated movie for you to watch as you feed yourself (although it's more like you getting distracted and her and Jenni taking turns spooning food into your mouth). Sometimes, when they think you're particularly distracted, they will lean over the top of your head and kiss.

You catch them a few times and both times, they go a little red before trying to distract you with more food. It gets to the point that you don't even want to look at them when you feel one of them move to kiss the other.

After dinner, Jenni gives you a bath and helps you play with your bath toys as your pyjamas get nice and warm on the radiator. Mami pops in a few times to give Jenni your bubble bath mixture but she's on the phone with someone so she doesn't stay long.

Jenni dries you off and gets you all snuggly in your Thomas the Tank Engine pyjamas and guides you to your room.

Mami's already there waiting and you get bundled up into bed as Jenni plucks a book from your bookshelf to read. Her voice is upbeat and Mami does the silly voice for all of the characters.

It makes you sleepy and you're all nice and warm between your Mami and Jenni.

You yawn and Mami takes this as time to switch off your big light while Jenni finally turns on your special nightlight that projects stars onto your ceiling.

"Night, night," Alexia says even though she knows that you're already asleep, slipping out of the door with Jenni behind her.

You don't answer (she didn't expect you to) and you snuggle against your soft pillows as you drift off.

[girlactionfigure]

I need to get something off my chest and this only became clear to me 45 seconds ago. 

I think I speak for a lot of people when I say the following. 

I am DEEPLY traumatized. 

For me, the trauma from losing my older brother to terror really never went away but it definitely became bearable. Life was going on. 

But then it came to an immediate stop on October 7th, 2023, the day my heart was ripped from my body over and over. 

So what happened 45 seconds ago that made me realize this? 

A friend of mine reached out. He produced a movie that he’ll be screening in synagogues across America on Tisha Beav, the saddest day on the Jewish calendar, a fast day that starts in a few hours. 

He sent me a private link to watch the movie. He promised me it had no gore, no atrocities, and that I’d be safe watching it. 

I started the movie. I forced myself to keep watching. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. 15 minutes. 

But then I asked myself why I was doing this to myself and I stopped the movie. 

I simply could not. And no, there was no gore, no blood, just a whole lot of unbearable tragedy. 

The movie had many people, heroes who told their story from that dark day. There were many positive messages in the movie and I totally see what they were trying to accomplish with this movie. 

But I simply could not keep watching. 

This isn’t behind us yet for us to look back at it. We are still in it! That day hadn’t ended. The mourning and devastation hasn’t ended. 

Our national suffering hasn’t ended. 

This entire country is traumatized. The government will have to spend BILLIONS after this war to deal with the PTSD of this entire country. Tens of billions.  

I still find it hard to register that October 7th happened. That thousands of Gazans, and I chose that word carefully because it is an absolute lie to say it was only Hamas terrorists, came in and massacred families. And while they did it, as many survivors have attested, they laughed. 

A few survivors have said that among all the bloodshed and cruelty, the part that sent shivers down their spines was the laughter. 

As these animals raped and beheaded men, women, and children, as they burned families alive, they laughed. Hysterically. This for them was the highlight of their life. 

But I can’t watch a movie about it because we’re still in it. 

We are doing everything we can to teach our enemies a lesson that gone are the days that you can just massacre Jews and not pay a price. They must pay a price big enough that they will know that they made a very big mistake on October 7th. 

Our enemies need to bleed enough that they can no longer say that they’ll do 10/7 over and over. They need to fear Israel. They need to know what happens when you invade our country and murder our people. 

In any normal society, the entire world would stand behind anyone trying to eliminate that evil. And you know what? They would. They’d stand behind anyone, anyone except the Jews. 

I’m going to say this as clearly as I can and yes, I am speaking from a place of pain, unbearable pain, pain and trauma, but I still have to say it. 

If you are calling for Israel to hold its fire before eliminating and obliterating Hamas, you are making a clear statement, “I know full well what they did on October 7th, 2023, and I am completely ok with them doing it again and again.”

That’s what a ceasefire with Hamas means. 

I have not gone down there to see the houses and cars burned to a crisp, to smell the death in the air. I couldn’t. I still can’t. 

I can’t watch or read about the atrocities. I block anyone who sends me that horror. From my perspective, those are snuff films, with one small difference. The atrocity in those films? The victims are my family members. 

Until Israel’s enemies, Iran’s puppets are a thing of the past, it is not only Israel’s right to eliminate them wherever they are, it is Israel’s responsibly! Its responsibility to its citizens. Its responsibility to those families. Its responsibility to the world! 

What Hamas did on that day, and I mean this whole heartedly, is the cruelest barbarism the world has EVER known. Ever. Yes, ever! 

There are many Holocaust survivors who were interviewed after 10/7 who all said the same thing. “Even the Nazis didn’t do this…”

The Nazis drank themselves to sleep. Deep down they were ashamed. Hamas live streamed it and is deeply proud of October 7th.  

So let me very clear. There is not ONE, not ONE other country on this planet that would have to justify a war like this after a day like that. Not one. 

Except Israel, the only Jewish state. 

I am far from being able to watch movies about October 7th. Maybe I’ll never get there. I’m unable to hear the stories, watch the videos, or even see the pictures. 

Every time I accidentally see anything about that day, I am retraumatized! 

So yes, I know we will win this war and I know things will be ok but I am far from there. I am far from being ok. This country is far from being ok.  

And the salt on the open wound is the fact that we can’t do what we need to do to eliminate the threat on our borders and ensure that 10/7 never happens again, because every step of the way, the global community puts wrenches in our wheels. 

“Proportionate response”? What’s proportionate to murdering 1200 innocent people in their homes? What’s proportionate to raping mothers in front of their children and children in front of their mothers? What’s proportionate to beheading babies? There is no proportionate response to such barbarism. It doesn’t exist. 

“Genocide” 

“Indiscriminate killing”

“Starvation” 

Such lies! 

“Don’t go into Rafah or else!”

The lies don’t stop. The deception never ends. 

Israel eliminates tens of terrorists. Hamas calls them kids and the world eats it up! 

The aftermath of 10/7, which continues till today, is almost as hard to believe as 10/7 was. 

There are two sides in this war and there is no option C. 

Israel who fights to live in peace and to remove the animals who raped our children from this planet before they do it again, but next time, it won’t only be Israel. 

Hamas who did what they did and aim to do it again and again. 

Those are your only two choices.  

Remaining silent today is the equivalent of witnessing first hand what the Nazis did and turning a blind eye. Remaining silent and neutral in this war is immoral. 

Defending Hamas or demanding Israel cease its fire and not finish the job is immoral. 

Giving Israel anything but your FULL support is immoral. 

And let’s say it as it is. Enough with the charade already. If, after October 7th, you don’t stand with Israel, you are actively encouraging Hamas to do it again. You are actively condoning the murder of Jews and encouraging them to do it again.  

If you don’t stand with Israel now, in our darkest hour, you stand with Hamas and pardon my French, but if you stand with rapists, murderers, and pedophiles who take pride in their “work”, well you are a terror-supporting, Jew-hating, mass murder-condoning piece of… and you will be remembered in history as such. 

I am deeply traumatized and the truth is, for this country and the Jewish people, trauma is the new normal because we are all traumatized. 

Anyone who knows what happened on October 7, 2023 should be deeply traumatized. 

Stand with Israel when we need you most. Do what you can to help. We won’t forget it. 

If you don’t, history won’t forget it. 

Tonight begins the 9th of Av, as I said, the saddest day on the Jewish calendar. I’ll be going to the western wall to pray. 

For 45 years, I fasted on this day but deep down, I didn’t really feel the pain we are supposed to feel on this day. How can I authentically mourn the destruction of a temple I never saw and find very hard to relate to?

This year, I will feel it in spades! This year, we experienced an entire year of the 9th of Av. 

This year, we are fasting under the very real threat of our enemies murdering us again like they always have. 

Iran threatening to attack on the 9th of Av. They know what they’re doing. They know that this day is our most vulnerable. 

So tonight, I will begin my mourning and my fasting with a gaping hole in my heart and a deep prayer that God make this our last 9th of Av. That one year from now, we will dance again in the streets of Jerusalem and the prophecies of the Jewish people coming home will all have come true. 

Tonight I will try to embrace the pain and hope it’s not too unbearable. It will be. I know that. 

But tonight, for the first time in my life, the 9th of Av will be what it was supposed to be, a day on which we mourn and remember what our enemies did to us over and over. 

Tonight, this year, it won’t be hard to feel it. 

The only thing that’ll be difficult this year is to bear the unbearable pain that we feel as a nation. 

I wish you a meaningful fast if you’re fasting and if you’re not, spend a few moments to reflect on our history, specifically as it pertains to this day, the 9th of Av. Maybe even say a little prayer that we get past this. It can’t hurt. 

The Jewish people need the strength to get through this dark time in our history. We’ve been through worse and came out on the other side, but getting through this will require real strength and dedication. We need all the prayers we can get. 

Have a meaningful 9th of Av. I know I will.

@HilzFuld

[orshii]

Did I cross the line?

➼Author: orshii

➼Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader

➼Word count: 4 k

➼Summary: On Valentine's Day in Paris, a romantic trip with your boyfriend, takes a painful turn when unresolved feelings about his ex-girlfriend, who was once your best friend, resurface. Despite the love between you, the past threatens to tear you apart. Through heartfelt conversations, you confront your insecurities and reaffirm your commitment, realizing that to move forward, you must leave the past behind.

➼A/N: Well...here I am again with a Hongjoong drabble, and this little something was born because of Billie Eilish's new song. And it was completely inspired by it, so please please, listen to the song and pay attention to the lyrics so you will understand the story more. I just love it, it's such a beautiful song and I can't get it out of my mind...just as well Hongjoong haha...Anyway, I am not sure this is what I wanted, but this happened so enjoy! Byee...--also, sorry for any mistakes :'(... (divider)

Things fall apart, and time breaks your heart, but it also heals your soul, allowing you to feel like a normal human on this chaotic Earth. It's much harder when you're alone, but if you find someone who is always by your side and supports you unconditionally, you become unstoppable. Nothing can come your way when they are next to you and cheering for you on the side to chase your dreams. When you find the mate of your soul, you think nothing can stop you from now on.

Except... sometimes, despite everything, you grow farther apart because of a tiny reason, turning what was once promising into something that couldn’t bloom or burn with passion.

This is the reason why I am crying in a hotel room in Paris, the city of love on Valentine’s Day, with my heart broken into thousands of pieces. How ironic life can be. It's the day of love and I'm in the city of love, yet I never felt more disappointed in love ever. The broken pieces of my heart are cutting me from the inside, I want to scream from the pain, but I have never been quieter in my life, my voice got lost between the sharp pieces of my heart.

Our trip to the city of love started like a cliché straight from a romantic movie. We decided with my boyfriend, Hongjoong, that we were going to travel to Paris for a little break, as we both needed it, we were overwhelmed with work, and we barely saw each other. And Valentine's Day was a perfect excuse for both of us, to celebrate our love, that just started to bloom. Our relationship began six months ago, and it was a maze until we finally understood each other and found our way through the dark, complicated labyrinth of each other's hearts.

We wandered around the city with our hands interlaced, never letting go for even a minute. We felt locked together, forever. Throughout the day we visited a lot of museums and the typical sights of Paris, that being the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower. When the both of us were on top of the Eiffel Tower, the wind was so strong up there, that we could barely see the city down there. The air was chilly, as it was mid-winter. The clouds were gone, and the snow had already melted away, leaving behind only the cold.

I stared at Hongjoong, my hair in my face, giggling as he took pictures of me. The photos came out blurry but full of happiness. The sun that slowly approached its lowest spread an orange blanket over the city, lighting it with all shades of orange. I looked next to me, where Hongjoong was smiling. I saw him in slow-motion, as he was looking down at the orange city, the sun's beams lighting his beautifully shaped face, his jawline sharp, his cheekbones high, his eyes in the shape of a crescent moon as he was smiling. The wind blew very slightly on his brown hair alongside his elegant black clothes.

And his smile... that was why I fell in love with him so deeply that I couldn't escape. His smile was so perfect and wide, full of humanity, with sincerity that immediately caught me off-guard because I didn't believe in the fact, that perfect humans on this Earth existed. But as soon as I saw him, I knew it was just a lie, because with time every human being finds their perfect mate for their soul, no matter if someone sees them as imperfect. For you, they are always going to be perfect.

After coming down from the tower, we wanted to do one last thing: put a padlock on the famous bridge where people place padlocks to symbolize their love, as the saying goes, 'Lasts until forever'. And as it was Valentine's Day and we were in the city of love, to make it cheesier we bought a red padlock to put it on the bridge.

"So did you enjoy yourself today?" Hongjoong asked looking at me with his adoringly beautiful smile, as we were walking towards the bridge.

"This was the happiest day of my life Hongjoong." I looked at him with loving eyes, tears almost appearing in my eyes as I was very overwhelmed by the fact of how much I loved him. "Thank you."

"Come here, my little bun." He pulled me by my hand that was interlaced with his and hugged me strongly I felt like he might break my bones, as we were at the end of the bridge. He pecked the top of my head and slowly separated from me, leaving little distance between us, just to cup my face into his warm hand. Chills ran through my body as I felt his warm hand on my cold and red face, he immediately warmed me up with only one slight touch.

"I love to see you happy." He said his voice a little childish as he was saying it adorably. He tugged my hair behind my air. "I'm happy if you are too."

"You are too cheesy, what happened to you?" I looked at him suspiciously.

He chuckled at that. "You happened; I can't help it." He slowly leaned closer to me and slightly pecked my lips with his. Then he looked at me and smiled like I was the only human being on Earth.

"So, it's my fault?" I whispered onto his lips, that still hovered over mine.

"Yes, it is." His eyes were on my lips, as he whispered the words sweetly.

Then he closed the distance again between our lips and kissed me more passionately, putting his heart into the kiss, giving it to me so I could keep it safely in my imaginary safe made out of unbreakable metal, but sometimes that metal can get infected and it can crack and that hurts. As I kissed him back my lips slowly moving against his, the world was gone around us, and I did the same with my heart, giving it to him, so he could keep my heart wherever he wanted to. I hoped our hearts belonged to the other and no one else.

"Let's put that silly padlock on." He said as we separated from the kiss, caressing my cold cheeks.

I just nodded and took his hand to lead him through the bridge's middle.

"It's nice to be back in here." He said as we were looking around, observing the padlocks people already left there.

"Have you been here before?" I asked him surprised with a frown.

Suddenly his expression changed, as we stopped in the middle of the bridge, people around us walking and smiling, the sky had already gone dark, and only the street lights showed the way.

"Well…yes." He scratched the back of his head, averting my eyes.

"I didn't know, when?" He acted strange all of a sudden and I didn’t know why.

"Last year—with… Hana." He slowly looked up, to see my reaction.

I gulped and my heart started to race quickly as I heard her name. I really wanted to stay calm it wasn't the time to argue again as he knew it was an uncomfortable topic between us.

I nodded barely visible. "I see…" I looked down on my hands. "And did you like—were here?" My voice came out strange, it lost its power as I pointed at the padlocks.

"Y—yes," Hongjoong said noticing as my expression changed very quickly. He stepped closer to me to hold my hands. I just looked down at our hands and then at the padlocks. "But it was in the past and you know it, Y/N. I want to do this with you." He reached his hands towards my face, but before he could touch it, I stopped him.

"Well, I don't want to anymore." My voice came out serious, my face looked hurt and disappointed. I stepped back, putting distance between us.

"C'mon, Y/N. You can't be serious." He stepped closer to me and I stepped back again on that. He scoffed at that. "Why can't you put it all behind you? It was a long time ago."

"Because she's everywhere I go, Hongjoong, anything I do with you has to do something with her." Tears started to well up in my eyes.

"It's not, you just made it up here," He pointed at his temple."…because you can't get over it, Y/N." He seemed upset as his voice got more serious.

I scoffed at that in disbelief. "So, now you think I'm crazy?"

It is very unpredictable how everything can change from heaven to hell.

"No, you are not crazy, but you definitely can't let go of the past and be in the present…with me." Hongjoong said running his fingers through his brown short hair.

"What can I do, when all the time I see her face, everywhere." I lifted my arms helplessly. "In our daily life, in our home…in your eyes." One tear slowly escaped my left eye.

"When will you understand she is nothing to me now?" He stepped closer to me, disappointment showing on his face. "When will you understand you are my everything? That I love you and no one else." His voice got lower, weaker.

"I know that you love me, you don't need to remind me like it's an obligation." I looked at him already feeling so far away from him.

Hongjoong scoffed at that. "What are you talking about?"

"You always sound like you have to assure me you love me." I looked down at the ground, where our shadows melted into each other. I just wanted to hide from him. "I am sure you love me. But…it's just a feeling I can't shake."

"You have no idea what are you talking about. Can't you get that you are my fucking world Y/N?" I felt as he stared at me with deadly eyes, growing more furious.

Stressed, I ran my fingers through my hair, tears streaming down my face. "But you aren't mine," I barely said out loud, knowing he could hear me.

I couldn't see his expression as he stood there in silence for a moment.

"You think so?" he asked, his voice calmer.

I just nodded, unable to look up.

He chuckled and came closer to me, his breath close to my face. "So, let's make it fair, then. Shall we?" His voice was like a threat. Then he grabbed the padlock from my hand and threw it away into the water. I stared at him, my eyes wide in shock. "I wanted to make you happy, to do cheesy things like this. But if you can't understand, let's just stop."

"I never wanted to fight," I mumbled.

"But we always do, Y/N." He lifted his eyebrows as he looked at me, disappointed. "It wasn't like this before."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, confused.

"I mean, when we started, it was nice. We were happy, no arguing. But you kept looking into my past and everything changed." He looked into my eyes, tired of the arguments.

"Because she was always there in the back of my mind." I sniffled and wiped away a tear.

"She isn't now. But you can't see it." He shook his head slightly. 

"Honestly…I don't know if I can be with someone who can't let go of the past…" I snapped my head up at that, his face was nothing but serious without any emotions. My heart started to race more quickly than before.

"Hongjoong…" I stepped closer to him with regret on my face.

"No." Now he was the one who stepped back, and my heart started to crack. "I am tired of this, you have to let go of our past and be present completely, not only with half of your heart." He said those words like it was venom and it flew right into my lungs poisoning it so I couldn't breathe anymore.

"We will talk when you finally manage to do that." He put his hands into his pockets and just passed by me like we suddenly became two strangers, leaving me there on the bridge where we could've locked our love forever, he left me with a heart suddenly broken into millions of pieces.

Did I cross the line?

The thing is Hana was Hongjoong's ex-girlfriend and my best friend.

My best friend and Hongjoong got together three years ago and broke up last summer. And it wasn't particularly because of me, well I played a little part in that as well, but they just always argued about little annoying things and I was the one who reconciled them. I'm not sure when it happened, but the more I was hanging out with my best friend and her boyfriend the more I felt something wasn't right. I started to feel something towards Hongjoong and I knew it wasn’t right so I quickly buried it deep down into my soul, so no one would know it.

I watched them through these years when they were arguing and when they hated each other, but they always made up at the end of the day and everyone was happy.

Not until one day, Hongjoong found out Hana cheated on him. That day was a disaster because the more time I spent with Hongjoong, the closer I grew to him. I considered him a friend and liked him. I could talk about things with him, that I didn’t even tell my best friend. It was hard to take sides, to be honest, it was cruel of my best friend but at the same time she was my best friend and I needed to be by her side. She was crying on my shoulder even though she fucked all of this up. Slowly, Hongjoong walked out of our lives, and it didn't feel right for some reason. Not seeing him every day, not knowing what he was doing, made my heart ache for some reason and I was so confused.

Not until July.

We accidentally ended up at the same event connected to our work and started talking. We talked, but like we just met, like we didn't know each other before like Hana didn't even exist. I felt guilty of course but sometimes people have to be selfish, for their own sake. We had a deep connection with Hongjoong and I didn't want to let it go. I just couldn't.

From then on, we grew closer to each other, and got to know each other. And one night, Hana saw us, of course, I didn't tell her about Hongjoong, that we were talking. And of course, the universe loved us and Hana saw us exactly that summer night when Hongjoong kissed me for the first time. When he kissed me, I felt like I was finally complete, like I found the missing piece of my lost soul. But when I saw Hana's face, my soul immediately burnt into specks of dust.

Until then, all I could see was her face when he saw us, the hatred in her eyes, that I could understand. I haven't see her since then, but she lives in my head rent-free. I hated myself because this was the cruelest thing a best friend could do. But I stayed selfish and chose Hongjoong because he made me happy and made me feel alive.

And now I fucked up everything because I can't get through our past. What happened is happened, but when he touches me all I can think of is how she felt, I always compare myself to her.

As I was standing on the bridge and trying to somehow organize my thoughts, I just started to walk in the city that was full of couples and happy people. The city was alive, restaurants were open, and people were celebrating, and laughing together. Yet, I was there walking past them with my eyes crying out, slowly losing myself in the dark. When I passed by a lucky charm seller, the old lady beckoned me to go there. I frowned as I slowly approached her.

"My daughter, you look sad, did somebody break your heart?" She asked me putting his hands on my shoulders.

I nodded tears appearing in my eyes again. "But… it was my fault…so I deserve it." My voice came out weak.

"No one deserves a broken heart, sweet girl." She slowly wiped off my tears. "These lucky charms will tell you what to do, I am sure." She pointed at the little papers with green trefoils on them.

I just shrugged, I didn't believe in these things, but at least I could make someone happy by buying one. I chose one randomly and paid for it, thanking the lady.

"And don’t forget, sometimes before loving someone else, we have to learn how to love and how to receive it." She smiled at me and let me keep going.

I put the lucky charm in my pocket, not even bothering to read it, and walked forward without any destination. All I could think about was Hongjoong and how much I fucked up. It was a perfect day…why did I have to fuck it up? As I walked next to the river my palm was itching in my pocket so I stopped to read the paper. I slowly opened the decorated paper.

"I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn't love myself.

 And then you realize it was all real."

I read the lines with my heart slowly warming up and pumping quicker. I never believed in things like these, but these lines hit me hard in the chest just so I could realize how stupid I was, how stupid I was to think Hongjoong didn't love me. I mentally face-palmed myself and tried to stop myself from jumping straight into the cold river and turned around just to run back to our hotel, hoping Hongjoong was going to be there.

Hongjoong wasn't there and he will never come back. He will never come back, because I made myself believe he had anything to do with Hana and that he always compared me to her. But the truth is I compared myself to her and it made my brain a fool, so I believed every cruel thing it whispered to me.

I collapsed on the bed, hugged myself and here I was, crying my soul out with a broken heart, on Valentine's Day, in the city of love.

Hours or just minutes passed by, and I lost track of time when I heard the door closing. I opened my eyes quickly; I was facing the door to our room laying on my right side. Hongjoong slowly stepped inside and took off his winter coat his eyes on me the whole time. I couldn't tell what was he thinking.

I sat up as he approached me and sat on the bed, just to cup my cried-out face into his, now cold, hands.

He leaned his forehead against mine as he whispered. "Oh, my little bun. You make my heart break, seeing you like this."

Probably I looked like hell, my eyes red, my cheeks puffy, my make-up smashed from crying. 

I slowly held his wrists that cupped my face. "Hongjoong I—" Tears found their way out again; I didn't understand how I hadn't dried out by now. I started to sob.

"I'm sorry, my love, I shouldn't have talked to you like that." He hugged me, his fingers running through my hair, trying to calm me down.

I slowly lifted my head from his chest. "No, you were right, Hongjoong." Words could finally leave my mouth. "I was living in the past, that hurt me, but at the same time healed me…you healed me. I was so broken, but you managed to glue together the pieces of me. But this Hana thing just hunted me and I couldn't run away it’s like she cursed me just so I could feel his revenge." I looked down at my hands sniffing.

Then I looked into his eyes and the mate of my soul looked at me like I was the most vulnerable creature on Earth. And that was the moment I got reassured about everything.

"I'm so sorry for making you feel like it was all your fault when it was just my fucked-up mind. You are my everything Hongjoong, and I couldn't spend even a minute without you in my life. Please, don't leave me…" My tears flew down my cheeks endlessly.

He sighed and slowly reached for my hands, holding them like a treasure. "You are a fool if you think it is an obligation for me to say I love you. I say it because I mean it with all my heart, and to let you know that Hana is in the past you know I never really loved her. Not like I love you. You are my partner in life, my future and I never want to let you go." He wiped my tears away as his eyes watered and a little teardrop escaped his eye. I immediately wiped it away, not wanting to see him cry because of me. Ever.

"I love you so-so much!" I whispered weakly as I cupped his face.

"I love you endlessly, bun." He smiled at me adoringly, his smile that cured everything inside me and his lips on mine that slowly put the broken pieces of my heart into its place, my heart being whole again, in one piece, just so I could give it to him, into his hands to do whatever he wanted to it, because I just belonged to him and he belonged to me.

He kissed me slowly, like never before, his soft lips moving along mine leaving a sweet taste behind. I slowly crawled into his lap, straddling his thighs. His hands found their place on my waist like they belonged there and squeezed it like he never wanted to let me go. Our kiss got more hotter as I parted my lips letting his tongue inside, discovering every hidden place of my mouth, like he wanted to taste every inch of me. My hands crawled into his hair squeezing it as a moan left his mouth. His hands slowly got their way under my clothes, running his fingers up and down my back, like he couldn't get enough of me.

"You are so beautiful, Y/N." He whispered onto my lips between hot kisses. He looked at me like he couldn't believe his eyes. "You are my beautiful girl." His lips traced over mine as he firmly bit my lower lip.

I chuckled at that, as he quickly flipped us over and he hovered above me, supporting himself with his hands on both sides of my head and he just looked at me. I got impatient and quickly lifted my head so I could kiss him, but he pushed me back to the bed and kissed me harshly, my body felt hot, and I felt like I could burn alive.

Everywhere he touched me burned my skin down to my bones. But I didn’t care because I knew he was the love of my life, that one person who was always beside me and supported me no matter what. The past needs to be locked in the past and the present needs to be lived just so I can build a strong future alongside the emotions I feel, alongside Hongjoong, now, on Valentine's Day and in the city of love, Paris.

[twistedinthreads]

Lost In The Labyrinth

Part 1.

You came to Oxford to get away from America; from your mother's fame and the ghosts of your past. You get more than you bargained for when you meet Felix.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: sexual content (not explicit but it's there so 18+ MINORS DNI), I used some descriptors for reader such as scars, birthmarks, imperfections, but I made her as inclusive as possible, reader is American, she's also a nepo baby but isn't using her nepotism in any real way. Bi!reader and Felix. fic title inspired by the taylor swift song, of course (and I am terrible at titles!)

Playlist (a work in progress!)

A/N: I am so insecure about this reading back over it omgggg but I'm posting it anyway! Hi friends. I've been working on this for so long, and I'm recovering from my surgery so I figured there's no time like the present. Here we are. I am obsessed with this movie and this man! I promise this fic is gonna get more interesting, but we've got this for now. Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist, and feel free to send me asks if you want to talk about reader and her lore, because she is very special to me and I adore her already!!!

Your eyes droop as you hum along to the nameless blonde that stands in front of you, her sparkly pink cocktail dress catching the light and making her glow. She’s going on and on about how Everlasting Eve is her favorite movie of all time, and how your mother is “the greatest actress of our time!” You want to vomit. It’s not like this doesn’t happen, it’s practically a daily occurrence at this point, but you’d much prefer it if people stopped giving so much of a shit. If they did, you wouldn’t be stood with a bottle blonde from Bristol talking your ear off. You’d just stepped out to get some air, for Christ’s sake. 

“You’re from the States, right?” You nod, sipping at your cocktail and bouncing from one foot to the other to conserve some warmth in your legs. She asks it as if she hasn’t been talking your ear off and didn’t notice your accent, not as thick as it used to be when you’d lived in New York full time, but still foreign here. The music is less obnoxious out here, bass easing on your chest. It’s cooler, too, the fall night air brushing against your neck like a lover. “That’s brilliant! I went with my parents once, when I was a kid. We went to Disney World.” 

You smile and nod, muttering out a “cool” as you sip at your drink, cringing at its strength. 

“Is that far from where you live?” She asks, and you wonder how she got into this fucking school. Probably a legacy, with more money than she knows what to do with.

“Uh,” you suppress a laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, like… incredibly South of New York.” 

“I’ve always wanted to go to New York,” she continues to babble. “My parents go on business trips there, but they’ve never taken me. I want to see where Little Angels was filmed! Uh, Lincoln Square Park?”

“Washington Square Park,” you correct her. 

“Yeah!” She snaps her fingers and points. “That’s it! When your mom’s character is waiting there for Hugh Grant’s character, and then they walk off into the sunset together? Absolutely the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen!”

You stare off into the distance vacantly, the night sky painted with different navy hues and dotted with the brushstrokes of stars. 

Suddenly, you feel a warm arm around your waist, hot breath on your cheek. “There you are!” You’d know that voice anywhere. The figure kisses you on the cheek and it takes everything in you not to start grinning from ear to ear. You turn, meeting his lips, and he plays along like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “I’m gonna head home, wanna come with?”

You nod, thanking him with your eyes. He winks gently at you and grabs your hand. “Nice talking to you…” you’ve already forgotten her name. Her tone has completely shifted, body stiff as her eyes mull over you and the man that holds your hand with a vice grip. 

“Sandra.” It’s cold, but you keep your own voice chipper. 

“Sandra! Nice to meet you,” she’s in your college, so you’ll have to be cordial. “See you around?”

She just nods and lights a cigarette. 

As you walk away, one of Felix’s hands around your waist and the other holding your own, you look up at him. “Thank you so much. Holy shit. I was about to lose it.”

He lets out a low, intoxicated chuckle. “It’s what I’m here for, darling.” Uses his fingers on your chin, tugging lightly to kiss you hard on the mouth. He pulls away and you chase his lips, planting one more kiss on his mouth, this time softer. 

“Your room or mine?” You ask, to be met with a smirk as he grabs your hand and leads you across campus. It’s a path you could walk with your eyes closed, the muscle memory of so many nights embedded into your body by now. 

His room is all red carpet and wood paneling, empty takeout containers and beer cans and ashtrays strewn about. His bed is unmade and his textbooks are all over his floor, but it hardly matters when he’s kissing you like you’re the only person in the fucking universe. 

Within minutes, you settle back into a familiar routine. Clothes shed, completely bare to one another as you grind and writhe on top of him, hands on his toned chest. He’s gorgeous with his mouth open in ecstasy, labored breaths escaping it, eyes closed and clenched, hands rested on your waist as you move above him, a renaissance painting. You’re moaning too, tempering your whines so that the sounds don’t travel. The moon paints the room in subtle, cool light and the pleasure makes sweat bead on your brows.

“Missed you,” he manages between moans, voice heavy and breathy. “Missed this.” 

“It’s been like, two days,” you let out a chuckle, and it fades into a moan as you grind your hips again, trying not to scratch his chest with your manicured nails, though you doubt he'd mind too much.

“And that’s too long,” he replies, and you lean down and kiss him, open mouthed and messy and euphoric. 

When it’s all said and done, you lay naked beside him while he smokes a cigarette, arm laced around your bare shoulder, your head rested on his. It’s bliss, something you’ve begun to ache for all the time. “Really, thank you. That girl was driving me fucking insane.”

“That scene where your mom’s character and Hugh Grant ride off into the sunset together? Immaculate.” He mocks the girl, a surprisingly good impersonation, and you both belly laugh. You wipe away bits of red lipstick from his mouth and grin delicately at him. You know you’re not the only girl he’s seeing, not even the only girl he’s fucking, and it wedges something vile and dangerous in your heart. The words linger on your tongue. You want to ask, want to know, and if you sound desperate? Well, so be it. 

“What is this?” You wrench the words out quickly, looking at your hands. 

“What do you mean?” He takes a long drag of the cigarette, letting the smell perforate the air in the room, turning it cloudy in its wake. 

“Us,” you murmur, and he runs a hand through your hair. “Like… I know you’re fucking other people, Felix. And that’s fine but… I just want to be clear on what this.” 

He looks at you perplexed, smashing the cigarette in the ash tray and turning on his side toward you. You mirror his motions, so the two of you are laying in bed, you practically on top of him due to its size, your hands under your cheek. “I’m fucking other girls? News to me.” 

“I see the way you look at them,” you murmur. “India. Annabel. That guy you study with sometimes… Ryan?”

“I’m not fucking anyone else,” he mutters, seeming almost offended at the notion. He scoffs before his next words. “I practically haven’t even looked at anyone else.”

“Fe-“ he cuts you off, a hand brushing over your cheek, holding it delicately. 

“No,” he starts. “I know I have a reputation or whatever,” he waves his free hand around. “But I genuinely haven’t been seeing anyone else since we started… this.” He gestures between the two of you, and you can sense that he's lying, but it hardly matters. 

You’re almost self-conscious as his eyes rake over your body; so self aware of every little imperfection, every feature. The birthmark on your hip. The way one tit is just a bit bigger than the other. Your crooked finger from when you broke it playing volleyball in ninth grade. The gray hairs you’d been noticing popping up recently. 

“You’re the prettiest fucking girl at this college,” he says your name before kissing you sweetly. “Don’t want to look at anyone else.” You know it’s a lie, considering the fact that he does look at other girls, and often. It’s almost like you can’t bother to care, though. Your head is all floaty and tears are burning your eyes. 

He climbs on top of you, kisses down your chest, down your stomach, makes sure to take his time kissing that same birthmark you were so insecure about minutes before, your inner thighs, before finally landing where it matters most. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful, yeah?” He looks up at you with those gorgeous eyes, the earnestness in them making your heart swell up. In this moment, it’s not the same Felix that made you cry last week because he told you you needed to get your own friends (you have plenty), or the Felix that ignored you at the pub to talk to Annabel, causing you to storm out and ignore him for three days until he realized. 

Sometimes, he doesn’t care if you come, and he doesn’t clean up after himself, and sometimes his words bite, and last week he made that insensitive comment about your friend with depression. But you think you might love him, and it feels like enough. 

After, he asks you to stay with him. You laugh languidly, tears brimming at your eyes from how hard. He kisses you, soft and slow, the moonlight seeping into the window and painting the carpet with light; it looks like a lone puddle of blood in a sea of blackness. 

When you wake, it’s nearly noon. The sun beams through the curtains and you shield your eyes, trying to move underneath Felix’s strong grip. He’s got a hand wrapped around your thigh. Your leg wrapped around his waist while your arms are, slightly pained from the uncomfortable angle, folded around his neck. You regret moving your face from its spot in his chest, wanting nothing more than to occupy his space for as long as possible. 

You can’t bear to wake him, his eyelashes fluttering ever-so-slightly against his face. You smile, tuck yourself back into him, and feel his breaths come out relaxed and steady. The tranquility doesn’t last long, though, and you watch as his eyes flicker open. “Good morning,” his voice is raspy, his saccharine accent accentuating every word with posh sweetness. He kisses your cheek and gets up, your eyes meeting his bare ass. “I should go shower, you cool to stay here?” He asks as he gathers his things. 

“I need to go,” you also get up, searching around for your undergarments and your uncomfortable cocktail dress, pulling the blue, beaded garment on without much care. “Sundays are study days with June.”

You slip your uncomfortable heels on, wincing at the blister you’d developed last night but didn’t notice until now, and kiss him on the cheek as you leave his dorm. 

The trek across campus has you nearly limping in pain, as you kick your shoes off the second you make it into your room. You gather your shower gear, thankful for your own bathroom and the warmth of a long, hot shower. It’s almost painful to wash his scent off of you, but you know you’ll be seeing him again soon, and let your floral body wash cleanse you and your sore form. 

Before you get dressed, you grab antibiotic cream and bandaids from a drawer and tend to your blisters, throwing on a pair of slip-ons to avoid even more pain. 

And as you go to study with June, your mind is far from Shakespeare; it rests only on Felix, Felix, Felix. 

[rwrbmovie]

BTS of #RWRBMovie: Alex comes out to his mom

From CineMagna:

TZP: It was not focusing on that coming out moment, not calling it that, and just more of a having a conversation with those that are near and dear to you. So it’s less of an event, and again, we just start normalizing this in society, and in the home, so it’s unique in that way.

From Hindustan Times:

ML: It was one of my favourite scenes of the novel. I am 46, and I did not get that scene when I came out at 21. And I say that with love and gratitude to my parents who have been on a journey since that day alongside me. The world has changed since I came out to my parents and I always thought that in the novel there is something really that is just of perfectly matter of fact about the way he (Alex) does it, which doesn't make it in any way less special or even less scary for him. Honestly I think in some ways that scene might be more for the parents watching the movie than for queer kids. Of course I hope that queer kids respond to the scene but for me that scene without question Uma's greatest scene in the film and I think she brought to it her own experiences as a mother of three children, as an actor with so many different friends who probably came out to her over the years. She's remarkable in that scene and I can watch Taylor relax into it because of the way she decided to perform it. Again, I promise you I did a lot of work in this movie but when you have a cast like this in your movie so much of your work is done for you. That scene works because of Uma and Taylor. They knew how to play it, they did it beautifully.

From OutSFL:

ML: That scene was just so beautiful. By the time we shot it, she and Taylor had really bonded, and they had shot a lot of scenes together at that point. It was the loveliest, warmest environment on set. I mean, it was a very lovely, warm environment on set every day, but that day you can just see in that scene the genuine affection that these two actors have for one another. It was real.

From Collider:

ML: Just getting to be on set with Uma [Thurman] and Taylor, that day. Just playing the scene, I remember Uma stopping for a moment and just shaking her head. I was like, “What’s up?” And she just went, “She’s just so cool.” I was like, “Yeah.” And she was like, “Man, I wish she was real.” In that scene, I just really wanted to give the audience a sense of a mother who gets it. It helps that she’s President of the United States because you also want a president who gets it like that. I love Taylor’s performance in that scene because Alex, in that moment, is just like, “Oh, my God, mom, you need to stop it!” For as cool as Ellen is and as prepared for this conversation as she is, the comedy comes from the fact that Alex is, in no way, prepared for his mother to be that prepared.

[starrose17]

I'm deleting all my fics on AO3.

This is in protest of the new trend of zero interaction, zero reblogs and zero comments that content creators now have to put up with, fandom is now a depressing place and I'm sick and tired of giving everything and getting nothing.

Everyone keeps saying "Oh but you should write for yourself" well fine, I am, this is what fandom would be like if everyone only wrote for themselves and therefore don't need to share their work. Empty. Fandom is now empty.

I've been on tumblr for a very long time and still have people who followed me for past fandoms, so should you want to keep any of my fics please download them now.

I have already deleted the majority of my fics on there except the following 7 of my long fics, which I will list here. In 24 hours they will be deleted also, so please download them if you wish to keep them.

This is the end of my participation in fandom.

Title: Asunder

Fandom: Loki

Pairing: Mobius/Loki

Summary - The violent God and the gentle Man, two sides of Loki’s split personality that has him locked in a criminal mental institution. His doctor, Mobius, has him under his care, but there are things Loki doesn’t remember, about his crime, about his past…about who Mobius really is. All Loki knows is that he is afraid of what the God will do next, and that the easy smile of his doctor makes something stir warmly inside him.

Title: See You Tomorrow

Fandom: Vikings

Pairing: Athelnar

Summary: After suffering through a horrific tragedy, Athelstan has lost his faith. A difficult thing, when living in the village on the Holy Island of Lindisfarne. Refusing to talk to God, and knowing the locals are watching him, Athelstan tries to continue with his life as though he wasn't screaming inside. When a tourist named Ragnar Lothbrok visits the island, his wild and very forward personality gives Athelstan a jump start in actually living his life, not just being alive. Though Athelstan isn't entirely sure if it helps or not that Ragnar is trying to seduce him every two seconds. Hint: It does.

Title: Bad Reputation

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Real life pairing J2 Jensen/Jared

Summary: A-list Hollywood movie star, rich, charmingly charismatic, sweetheart of the industry, Vogue’s Sexiest Man Alive 2 years in a row, wanted by all producers and all gold diggers alike with his fans in the millions. So how had lowly car mechanic Jensen now got Jared’s phone number written on the back of his hand, his chevy impala in his garage, and a promise of dinner, Jensen didn’t the fuck know! Now there’s paparazzi at his door and Jared turning up in the middle of the night in tears, what has Jensen got himself involved in?

Title: Guardian of the Soulless

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Geralt/Jaskier

Summary: Geralt has just left a relationship with Yennefer, the boss of a top London crime family. They leave on good terms, and he stays as a bodyguard for hire to be called upon when needed. He has every reason to believe his life will carry on as normal, but he barely gets two footsteps down the street before he finds a noisy angel amongst his monsters of the crime world. Jaskier has no idea what he's gotten himself involved with, and frankly he's more excited for it. Cue Jaskier finding a heart to call home, and Geralt realising love is what he'd always been missing.

Title: The The Stars

Fandom: Good Omens

Pairing: Crowley/Aziraphale

Summary: The happy ending Titanic!Au. Aziraphale is being forcibly sent to America to be forcibly married to Gabriel. Crowley is going to forcibly screw that up.

Title: L/S - I Will Stand Here With You

Fandom: Black Sails

Pairing: Flint/Silver

Summary - Silver's the irresistible hot singer for the new band L/S. Flint is a lonely man. Miranda is his fed up friend needing to get Flint back in the game. What she doesn't expect is what she'd planned as a one night stand between the two men to grow into something beautiful.

Title - We Met At The Park

Fandom: X-Men First Class

Pairing: Erik/Charles

Summary: Unable to sleep one night Erik takes a midnight walk in the local park. He finds himself being followed and propositioned by a rent boy named Charles, and begins to fall rather rapidly for his charms. Charles however has never known what love is, and doesn't recognise it even when it's staring at him in the face. As for Erik, he doesn't realise a creeping illness is slowly affecting Charles, and his dark past is something he couldn't have imagined.

[bigmpregnm]

Up & Down - Part 3

[Story Collection] | [Part 2] [●] [Part 4🔴]

We sat in front of the doctor’s desk, and I was getting even more worried as I looked at his face. The doctor was clearly concerned, but there was something else. His face made me feel like I was in a horror movie right before the moment the monster suddenly jumped in. The doctor kept reading Spencer’s file while we were silent. I looked at Spencer, and he was pale. He knew something was wrong, so I held his hand tighter.

“Mr. Collins, Mr. Richards. Welcome back. We have... well, a few things to discuss,” the doctor said without looking at us, only passing page after page of Spencer’s results. “So, most of your results look fine,” the doctor said but stopped while re-reading everything.

“It means there’s something wrong. Am I dying? I can’t die. We’re having kids, and I...” Spencer said, taking deep, random breaths and tears in his eyes.

“No, I never said that. Let me finish. There’s nothing wrong, but some of these results are unusual. You seem to have a hormonal imbalance that’s atypical for a man your age, or any to be exact,” the doctor said, looking at Spencer while his breathing normalized. “But I need you to be honest with me. Do you consume, apply, or inject any variety of anabolic steroids?” The doctor observed Spencer’s body up and down.

“What? No! I’ve never injected any of that,” Spencer said, confused and intrigued rather than offended. “I have good genetics for growing. I’ve never needed any help gaining muscles. What does this have to do with my sickness?”

“Anabolic steroids are used to increase muscle mass faster and, as some people say, to get huge. These products, mostly injectables, enforce muscle development, but they alter the hormonal levels in the body. Most people don’t know or don’t pay the required attention to the secondary effects of these products,” the doctor explained, sounding worried.

“I promise. I’ve never used steroids,” Spencer firmly replied.

“I believe you; we ran tests looking for signs of steroid use, and you’re clean, but I still had to ask.” The doctor smiled kindly and went back to reading the papers. “Mr. Collins, I don’t want to scare you, but I’ll be honest, considering all your symptoms and based on these results, it could be testicular cancer. It would explain the fatigue, the nausea, and the hormonal disorder. However, it wouldn’t explain the fast increase in your weight, which I assume is a consequence of an increase in appetite, and that’s very uncommon in cancer patients.”

“T-Testicular cancer?” Spencer said with a shaky voice, and I was about to cry in fear. In an instant, my dreams of us having a family faded, but he looked at me, and I knew I had to be strong for him.

“It’s only a possibility. Please, don’t be afraid. I want to check on your testicles to look for any lumps or abnormal growth that could confirm or discard it. This is a regular procedure. Please take your pants and underwear off and sit on the bed in the corner.”

The doctor stood up and put on some gloves while Spencer was frozen in his chair. I pulled his hand and kissed it, smiling at him and showing him my support. I knew he was scared, and I could barely contain my tears, but as Spencer came to, I guided him to the bed and helped him remove his pants and underwear. He sat on the edge of the bed, tightly holding my hand, and even though he was scared, he smiled at me as if saying, “Everything will be fine.”

When the doctor approached, he was evidently surprised by Spencer’s dick and balls. He was professional and hid his reaction, but I noticed he was in shock. The doctor asked Spencer if his testicles were usually that big, and when Spencer nodded, I saw a slight grin on the doctor’s face. Sitting in front of Spencer, the doctor started squeezing and massaging Spencer’s big balls, looking for lumps, but he didn’t find any.

We sighed in relief when the doctor said Spence’s balls looked fine. Then, he mentioned that even though he didn’t find any lumps, Spencer’s balls were larger than average, so he needed to check if there wasn’t something else causing that swelling. Spencer put on his clothes again, and the doctor asked us to follow him to another room to run an ultrasound. The doctor explained that most people didn’t know the procedure even existed, but he wanted to run an ultrasound on Spencer’s balls to officially discard testicular cancer.

With Spencer on his back on the examination table a few minutes later and the doctor moving the transducer of the ultrasound over his large balls, I could barely contain my laughter since I knew Spencer’s balls were naturally big, and the doctor didn’t seem to believe it.

“So, is there something wrong? Or are you convinced that I have big balls?” Spencer said, making the doctor blush.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Collins. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I only needed to discard any swelling due to some abnormality. But you have big and healthy testicles for sure,” the doctor said, smiling kindly at Spencer. “Now that I have discarded this hypothesis, I’d like to check on your abdomen because you mentioned you’ve been experiencing unusual bloating, right?” The doctor said, changing the wand of the ultrasound machine.

“Yeah, I’ve never had a gut like this one. It’s one of the reasons I came here in the first place. Owen thought I was growing a tumor or that he had broken something inside me... ” Spencer said, but I punched his arm, and he stopped.

“I don’t think it’s a tumor because they usually grow differently, and... about something breaking inside you, I’d need you to give me more details if you had any accidents that could cause such a wound,” the doctor said, leaving us speechless.

“I… we… I mean… I really don’t know how to explain this. Owen, please, you tell him,” Spencer said, looking at me, soon followed by the doctor.

I froze for what felt like an eternity but finally found the courage to tell him that I was afraid of hurting Spencer with my dick. “I know it’s unlikely, but since he wasn’t used to... you know, and I’m… you know… well, you know what I mean.”

The doctor nodded, turning as red as a tomato and turning to face Spencer again. “I don’t think you should worry about that. I mean, it’s unlikely that someone could break something inside his partner during intercourse,” the doctor said, and there was a long pause. “Now, Mr. Collins, please lift your shirt up. I’ll apply this gel to your abdomen to run an ultrasound. Hopefully, we will find out the source of the bloating.”

As Spencer revealed his distended abdomen, I saw the surprise on the doctor’s face, but he acted professionally and started applying gel to Spencer’s lower abs. His belly looked like a turtle shell, similar to the large guts that massive bodybuilders had, but Spencer’s looked different. The doctor asked us about Spencer’s eating habits, and I explained that he was a pain in the ass about his diet. Spencer didn’t even drink any alcohol; his eating regimen was so strict that it allowed him to drink a soda once a month. The doctor chuckled but then turned pale, and we got worried.

“Mr. Collins, when you mentioned earlier that you couldn’t die because you are having kids, what did you exactly mean?” the doctor asked while looking at the screen, clearly in shock.

“That’s kind of personal, but Owen and I are going to have twins through a kind of surrogacy process. There’s a woman, and she’s 16 weeks pregnant with twins, and I’m the biological father. Owen and I will raise those babies together. Why is this important?” Spencer asked, reaching to hold my hand while the doctor stayed silent.

“I thought you meant something else,” the doctor replied, becoming silent again. My heart was beating fast, and I knew Spencer was worried. “I have no words to describe this. I read your medical history, and it says you were assigned male at birth. I touched your testicles a few minutes ago, so I’m sure you’re a man. However, the screen shows me a womb and what seem to be fetuses growing inside you. Did you know you were pregnant?” The doctor said, looking at us in shock, receiving similar expressions of shock from us.

“What?!” Spencer and I shouted at the same time.

“I get from your reaction that you had no idea. Let me put it into simple words. Mr. Collins, you’re pregnant. And very pregnant. I count eight fetuses growing in your uterus,” the doctor said, turning the screen around and pointing at eight tiny shapes labeled A, B, C, D, E, F, G, and H.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Men don’t get pregnant,” I said out loud without even thinking about my words, while Spencer was speechless in shock.

“Honestly, I have no idea what I’m talking about. This shouldn’t be possible, but I can see the unmistakable shape of eight fetuses inside Mr. Collins’ abdomen. It seems like he has a uterus or womb, which is incredibly remarkable, and it seems like, considering some of the information you provided earlier, you conceived octuplets naturally, about 8 or 9 weeks ago,” the doctor said, leaving us speechless. “I don’t know how to explain this, but I can confirm that you are pregnant with octuplets.”

We didn’t know what to say, so we only listened to the doctor give us a long and confusing explanation about the position of each baby. The only thing that I could register was when he said, “Everything looks perfectly healthy, though.” Then, the doctor turned the screen off and wiped the gel from Spencer’s, talking about calling a specialist and some of his colleagues to study Spencer’s case. I didn’t want him to turn Spencer into a guinea pig, but at the same time, I was worried about his health.

I tightly held Spencer’s hand, and I noticed it was cold. He was unresponsive while the doctor talked about his hypothesis. However, when the doctor said he thought the best option was to proceed with a selective reduction in the number of fetuses he was carrying, Spencer finally came to. While the doctor explained that he wanted to take some of the fetuses out of Spencer’s womb, my big guy jumped off the bed, and without saying a word, he stormed out of the room, pulling me by the hand. I was glad he was moving again, but his reaction confused me.

Once we were out of the clinic, he finally stopped and turned to face me. I knew him very well, so I knew he was angry. Even then, I tried to convince him to return to the doctor’s office, which he immediately refused. He insisted he had no reason to go back inside since, as a man, he couldn’t be pregnant. I thought his male ego was hurt, so while we walked to our apartment, I tried to calm him down by telling him that the doctor could be wrong. However, he looked angrier the more I talked about it.

“I’m not fucking pregnant! I’m a man,” he finally exploded when we arrived at the apartment. “There are no babies to get rid of. There’s nothing wrong with me, so don’t keep talking about this nonsense. I’m freaking hungry, and I’m tired, fuck! No wonder why I’m getting fat,” he said as he sat on the couch.

“Spencer, you need to see another doctor. You’ve been sick; you can’t deny that, and... You saw the screen... our…” I said, but he interrupted me.

“I didn’t see anything. I only know I’m sick, and now I’m sure this is your fault. You and your freaking foot-long dick broke something inside me. Go fuck yourself from now on,” he shouted in anger, and I felt my blood heating up.

“I’ll ignore these words because I know you’re scared and confused, but I’ll remind you that we were doing fine until you went and knocked up that bitch! I can’t believe you cheated on me with such a horrible person!” I replied angrily.

“Stop calling her a bitch. She’s carrying my kids,” he replied.

“I thought they were our kids,” I said and saw his face changing from anger to guilt.

I went to my room and stayed there alone for a few hours. I heard Spencer in the kitchen, and even though I was starving, I was deeply hurt. Many thoughts crossed my mind, but I started crying with joy as I imagined what the babies growing in Spencer’s belly would look like. As a gay guy, I never thought it would be possible for me to have kids with Spencer—not in the regular way, at least. But the more I thought about it, the happier I felt, and the more I understood Spencer’s confusion, fear, and anger. Then, I remembered the moment that made Spencer snap out of his trance at the clinic, and I understood that he wasn’t angry about the pregnancy; he was mad because the doctor wanted to get rid of our babies. This made me cry even more.

Wiping off my tears and realizing that I owed Spencer an apology, I stood up and attempted to walk out of the bedroom, but the door opened, and I saw Spencer’s massive frame walking in with a tray full of food and a card that said, “I’m sorry.” My heart immediately warmed up, and I fell even more in love with Spencer.

“Owen, I know you’re mad, but please forgive me. I was freaking out, and... I don’t think this is your fault. You know I love when you fuck me, and... That woman is a total bitch, and please, don’t leave me alone in this. The twins are ours. Everything that’s mine is yours,” Spencer said with tears streaming down his face as I took the tray from his hands.

“I’m the one who owes you an apology. Now I get you’ve been dealing with lots of things, and I wasn’t helping at all,” I said, pulling Spencer by the hand until we were both sitting in bed. “And I just realized something. You aren’t mad about the doctor saying you’re pregnant. Right? You know he was telling the truth.”

“Owen… I-I know he was telling the truth. Don’t you believe him?” Spencer laid on his back, and I snuggled against his muscular torso.

“I do. All the proofs are there, and... I understand it’s impossible, but you’re the sweetest, hottest, biggest, and most amazing person ever, and if someone as perfect as you can exist, then everything is possible.” I lifted the hem of his T-shirt to rub his belly. “But I realized you got scared when the doctor talked about the selective reduction,” I added, and Spencer grunted.

“How could he even think I’d get rid of any of your kids growing in me? That’s… Fuck!” He said angrily but then turned to look at me. “Unless… You wanted him to get rid of the babies? I need to know what you think about this,” Spencer said, joining my hand on his belly.

“What do I think? Well, I think that you…” I said and kissed his lips, “And I...” I kissed him again. “Are going to be the best dads to our, not two but ten babies.” I kissed him repeatedly while we rubbed his belly. “I think we’ll have a big and happy family. I think I love you with all my heart, and I’m already in love with our ten coming kids and the many more that will come after these ones.” I locked my lips with his while tears of joy poured down his cheeks, and our hands didn’t leave his belly.

I noticed he started taking his pants off, and I followed soon. We removed our T-shirts, and I got on top of him, carefully giving his belly the space it needed. We made out for several minutes, only enjoying each other’s bodies before Spencer lifted his legs and helped me get between his legs. He smiled at me, and I leaned forward to kiss his belly. I knew one of the pregnancy symptoms was an increased libido, which made me wonder how horny Spencer’s usually horny self would get.

I lined my dick with his hole, and with a cocky grin, he said, “I dare you to put another eight babies in me.” These words were all I needed to lose my mind, so I buried my big dick in his ass and fucked him long and hard for hours.

Over the next few days, we experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. After the initial shock, we agreed never to go back to visit the doctor who wanted to kill our kids, and we focused on getting ready to father so many kids. We lived in a permanent state of joy and excitement, adorned with sprinkles of lust and desire. We were worried, and the feelings were overwhelming sometimes, but Spencer and I were more in love than ever, and he was insatiable. We fucked several times a day, alternating positions and fully embracing our new dynamic.

With each passing day, I noticed his belly was getting rounder, and after learning the reason for his constant hunger, Spencer let himself go and started eating nonstop the entire day. I loved it when I found him lying on the couch with a burger in each hand and a large portion of fries on the table, along with a large soda. He wasn’t used to eating junk food, but now he constantly said that he was willing to fulfill all his cravings because that’s what the babies wanted him to eat. He was a literal mountain of joy when he talked about the babies.

There were other moments when Spencer experienced intense mood swings, and he ended up crying in my arms while talking about how fat he was getting and making me promise that I was going to love him even when he was as big as a blimp. I only laughed and kissed him when he expressed these emotions because I knew he had all the right to be scared. Some days, we engaged in long conversations about the coming babies, and some questions popped up, and we didn’t have the answers.

“Where are the babies coming out?” I asked him two weeks after we found out he was pregnant. We were cuddling in bed after the wildest sex session, and my dick was still inside him. He chuckled and pushed his ass backward to make his point. I laughed and hugged him tighter, but I wondered if Spencer’s ass was stretchy enough to birth our babies. A part of me was sure that everything would be fine, but I couldn’t ignore the fear that the babies would get stuck inside him and all of them, including Spencer, would die in the process.

Even then, when I hugged Spencer and my hands were on his growing belly, the fears faded, and I could only smile. I loved spending my evenings rubbing his large abdomen because, with each passing day, his abs disappeared, and only a round, taut dome was left. At only 11 weeks along, Spencer looked almost due with a child, but the belly wasn’t noticeable on his large frame. He owned a few oversized T-shirts to cover his massive muscles, and he didn’t look pregnant the few times he came out of the apartment. The rest of the time, my big man preferred to stay fully naked and available for us to have fun.

...