#I am trying not to harp on games too much

[amiryllisthorn]

bioware not chase trends to end up years behind the curve challenge truly impossible.

Its just so weird looking at what they showed and seeing something that resembled more like god of war or horizon at a time when crpgs are being more successful than ever before.

[genericpuff]

i find it funny that one of rachel’s drawings of herself in the afterword that just went up is just fully persephone. is that something she does a lot?

Alright so I've been making it a general rule for myself to like, not harp on Rachel in any way outside of LO as much because frankly the horse is dead now and there's not much left to say outside of what can be analyzed in hindsight. I think despite everything I have to say about her and her work, she still deserves to get away from this nonsense and I don't wanna spend eternity hovering over her shoulder.

But the afterword was posted within the LO series and is clearly meant for readers of LO in the functioning of being an afterword so let's just call it fair game LOL

I will say, on the whole, it does feel very honest and sentimental and I can respect Rachel for taking the time to write out and illustrate her afterword in a way that was personal to both her and her fans. I can understand why she went at it from the angle that she did and I'm not gonna fault her for that.

But there's also something that feels deeply... disingenuous about her approach right from the starting gun. I will say, before I continue, that I'm well aware I am biased towards Rachel as a creator, and I fully acknowledge that I could very well be reading too much into things. This is just my opinion, take it with mountains of salt.

I can get looking back on your own childhood, your past self, whatever, and going "see! it all got better!" because sure! For a lot of creators like Rachel, it must be wild to look back on where they came from and there's a lot of sentimentality on expressing that through an afterword like this where she reflects on where she came from. Though she STILL didn't acknowledge her other comics outside of LO, I can understand if she wants to leave those skeletons in the closet.

But I feel like her drawing herself as a child who's being given an Eisner by her adult self and all that just feels like some gross attempt to disarm any criticism of her because "don't make fun of me, I'm just a sad lonely baby girl!"

She's not a child. Child Rachel didn't grossly misappropriate Greek myth into their own self-indulged vanity project. Child Rachel didn't claim herself a folklorist of a culture's works only to bastardize them completely. Child Rachel didn't create a hostile environment within her fanbase by bullying anyone who she perceived as a threat, sneaking into critical spaces to try and cause trouble, and writing her own clapbacks into her comic. Child Rachel didn't claim to be challenging misogyny and purity culture only to reinforce misogyny and purity culture through her own self-insert baby-virgin-gets-rescued-by-rich-tycoon power fantasy that regularly glorified abuse towards women and the lower class.

30-almost-40-year-old Rachel did though.

At best it comes across as really cringe sentimentality from a Greek-weeb (heh, greeboo) and goes to show how much Rachel inserted herself into Greek myth without ever absorbing its messages or cultural contexts, it was all about her and her feelings as a sad New Zealand girl with dyslexia who thought Persephone's story was about another sad girl being rescued from her "horrible childhood".

At worst it's an active attempt to play on people's heartstrings by drawing herself as a child who people will naturally not want to criticize. I don't want to assume she's doing it intentionally, I really don't want to leave her afterword on a bad foot, as I can definitely understand as both a creator and a person who struggled with learning disabilities in their own childhood how and why she wants to pay homage to her past and where she came from... but let's just say, as someone who's also gotten way too "lost in the sauce" concerning personal self-reflective projects, I think there's a lot to say about how this confirms that Rachel made LO entirely for herself, about herself, without any actual intention to respect the original myths, because she never truly separated them from herself when she was a child. And, in my humble opinion as someone who has Been There with the self-insert OC's and self-reflective angsty plotlines, I can fully attest to the fact that that's not fucking healthy. Even with personal projects, you NEED to learn to get your head out of the sauce, you NEED to learn to objectively separate yourself from the narrative so the story doesn't fall apart under your own hubris and ego, you NEED to learn to draw a line if you want to have any sort of identity as a human being outside of what you make for people. And that's with just normal original stories, this was a story based on Greek myth which doesn't belong to her.

And this goes for a lot of the things she's said and done in the past, so much of her own "sources" even are tethered to things that she read / watched in her childhood and only vaguely remembers, as if she never mentally left her childhood at all, which just... if the point was to highlight her past and the traumas she went through and how they contributed to her present, an Eisner isn't going to validate those experiences. And drawing attention to her past through the lens of her childhood self absolutely 100% does not absolve her of the negative effect her work has had on the modern Greek myth zeitgeist nor the things she's said and done as a 38 year old woman who should absolutely know better.

The community she entered and took from will forever remain changed by her influence and taking, in many ways not for the better. She has the privilege of walking away and never having to think about it again, with all the awards and accolades that were bought for her, the bravado that she built around being a "folklorist" with zero credentials, and the platform she was given over many other creators struggling to even be heard.

That "place" she claims to have now was built entirely on inserting herself into another culture's works and doing nothing but taking, taking, taking, while offering nothing in return but vanity and lip service. That "place" was paid for and brought to you by Webtoons.

[pianostarinwonderland]

Hellooooo! I’m so glad that you’re still active and making insightful posts. Piggybacking off a thought from the recent tsum event, do you think Jade also has thoughts regarding individuality? Like, it’s obvious from Floyd that he wants to be seen as his own person and not always compared to his brother. But Jade? I’m guessing that he doesn’t care, but I think it’s partly because a lot of people who don’t know him personally think he’s the better twin and doesn’t need to compare him to Floyd because why would they?

Also, do you think that’s why the twins bonded to Azul in middle school? Not just because of his deals and magical prowess, but because he was clever and observant enough to tell them apart? Or do you think he learned to tell them apart after they had several chance meetings that later evolved into friendship?

It’s an important aspect of their relationship that I don’t think gets enough attention because I’ve seen fics or headcanons where the tweels switch and no one can tell them apart—not even Azul! This is just a nice crumb that I think really delves deep into their relationship without meaning to, but still leaves us wanting more.

Apologies for the ramble! I just wanted to know what your thoughts were!

rubs hands gleefully ohhh my dear, i am so glad you asked. :) And thank you so much for the kind words, even though I haven't been too active. I'm trying to get posts up and asks answered while things are much more free at this time.

It's been months since this ask came in oops, and iirc this ask is referring to tsum 2. In one of the stories in the main event, Floyd and Azul talked about when Azul and Jade found their respective tsums. That time, Azul was like, "Oh, did Floyd's tsum come back? No wait, upon closer inspection, that's Jade." Floyd then asked Azul how he was able to tell them apart, and his answer was something like, "I'm a businessman, I have to be good at knowing people." And Floyd's like, "Suuuuure."

Now, Floyd cares about individuality, that much is established. You see this in Floyd's School Uniform vignette and even in the beginning of his Platinum Jacket vignette.

But what about Jade?

So we don't really have a lot to go for since Jade is not the type to be open about these things. But I do agree that individuality is not in Jade's interest, not like Floyd. Rather, what I think is happening here is the "different yet the same" theme that has been at constant play with the tweels.

Okay, let's explain what this "different yet the same" theme is. Basically, it's Jade and Floyd doing different things, having different desires, yet it all connects to the same thing.

This is explicitly seen in Beans Day 1 and 2. Jade challenged Azul by making him think that Jade would shoot from there and thus lure him away from the harp. However, when he reached the tower and met Jade, Azul found that he had an empty bean shooter, and the real target was actually Yuu. Nevertheless, because he had no beans, Azul was able to tap him out.

Meanwhile, Floyd went fuck the rules and fought Azul (and Jamil) with empty bean shooters. It was against the rules, so it ended up being a fight where the harp no longer mattered. He ended up being caught by Azul as well.

And after capturing Floyd, Azul makes this comment:

Azul: Seriously, though. I can't believe BOTH of you challenged me to battle with empty bean blasters, just in different ways. You and your brother really are two peas in a pod. [From EN localization of Beans 2-38]

Jade and Floyd went about challenging Azul in different ways, Jade using mind games while Floyd was more of a physical brawl. But the commonality is that they used unconventional and even rule-breaking means: by using empty bean shooters.

You also see this theme in their Platinum vignettes. In particular, this is about what they do when they're interested in something and what pushes them to toss things away.

Platinum Jade vignette reveals that Jade disposes of things when he loses interest in them. It's also revealed that his interest in something is manifested in collecting numerous things of a fixation.

Jade: I suppose so. I don’t often choose to wear accessories as much anymore. Jade: Although, I do recall collecting a few hundred pieces… Riddle: A few hundred!? If you had collected that much, then I’m sure there would be some that still suit your tastes now… Jade: Perhaps. However, I have since disposed of all those accessories I collected back then. Riddle: Disposed all of them…? Even though you had so fervently collected them? Jade: Correct. Keeping things that no longer interest you is simply a waste of space, wouldn’t you say?

Jade: Ah yes, actually, there was something that caught my attention when I came to the surface, as well. Jade: It is nothing unusual, and in fact can be found pretty much anywhere on land… Jade: Once I took note of them, I could really feel the intention behind those that made them, as well as their various designs. It is profoundly fascinating. Riddle: Hmmm, nothing comes to mind. What is it that caught your attention that much? Jade: Fufu, well, that would be… manhole lids. Jade: Some lids are designed to show off local specialties or attractions. Jade: Of course, there are no manholes in the ocean. So my interest was piqued as I was searching up on what use they could possibly serve… Jade: For a little while, I did find myself collecting a few hundred various merchandise of manhole lids with unusual designs, as well. [TL by @mysteryshoptls]

Meanwhile, Platinum Floyd vignette (sort of) reveals that Floyd loses interest in something when it breaks. He also opens up that his interest really comes out when he's hunting for something that's hard to find.

Floyd: I once found this silver ring online that looks like an eel is wrapped around your finger. Kalim: Woah! I've never seen a ring that looks like that before! I bet it'd look good on you. Floyd: Riiight? But the manufacturers had already discontinued it. I wouldn't be able to find it so easily. Floyd: And when something is hard to get… doesn't it just make you want it more? Floyd: So, after that, I went looking for it, big time. Floyd: I went 'round to a bunch of second-hand shops that carry the brand, and even asked my pops to reach out to some of his connections who'd know about stuff like that. Floyd: I get bored pretty easily, so I usually don't try that hard trying to find just one thing. Cool, huh?

Floyd: When I put it on, it totally felt like the ring was made just for me! And I got super attached to it. Floyd: So then, I wore it pretty much all the time after that, even when I exercised or took showers… Floyd: It ended up getting a ton of scratches, and got all tarnished, man～

Floyd: Silver stuff tends to degrade pretty quickly if you don't take care of it, but the ring's design was a bit complicated, so it was way too annoying to clean. Kalim: Then, what if you remake it in platinum or white gold? They don't tarnish that easily. I can introduce you to one of my family's craftsmen! Floyd: Naaah. Kalim: Eh, why? I thought that was a pretty good idea… Floyd: C'mon, Sea Otter-chan. I was all happy because it was hard to get my hands on. Floyd: If I had someone make it for me, then that's not the same thing. Floyd: It's 'cause it took a ton of hard work and searching for it was fun that I like that specific ring. Floyd: Maybe it's a pain to clean, but I like it. So I'll use it until it breaks. [TL by @mysteryshoptls]

They like to find the thing(s) that pique their interest, just that Jade collects many, while Floyd hunts for one thing that's difficult. They stop caring or dispose of those things when they are no longer interesting. It's just that Floyd loses interest when it's broken, which may take a while. Jade loses interest rather quickly, and then he disposes of those things or abandons it if it's a hobby. Different ways of going about it, but the same at their core.

So now that we established that, what does this mean about what Floyd and Jade value? And what does this say about their relationship with Azul?

So we know Floyd values individuality and doesn't understand how people mix up him and Jade, as seen in his Platinum vignette. The way that I'd interpret it, he wants to be accepted as his own individual, as his own person. I think he values Azul for being able to recognize the person that he is, rather than just being Jade's twin. Floyd wants to be recognized and accepted as who he is.

Jade, on the other hand, I don't think he values individuality. Rather, I think he values connection and community. There are plenty of reasons why I think this is the case, and it needs its own post to be honest. But to make it short, the best proofs of this is, funnily enough, the game itself and the Platinum vignettes. Jade and Azul have been together in four events: Beans 1, Halloween 1, Camp 2, and Tsum 2. And in the current New Year event, Jade's card not only shows him wearing an outfit resembling Azul's uniform, but his elements are double Water, the same elements as Dorm Azul card. As for the Platinum vignettes, notice how Floyd describes having interest in one object that's hard to find, which may allude to individuality. Meanwhile, Jade collects multiple of the same thing, alluding to community.

And I think Jade values closeness with another because it means that the other has accepted him enough to allow him within their inner circle. And Jade in turn would allow that other person within his own inner circle. Thus, it creates a community that may be small but is trustworthy.

In short, where Floyd may value being seen as his own individual, Jade would value connection. But in the end, I think they both want one thing: acceptance. And Azul can and does give them that.

I also find that Azul is such a nice balance for the tweels who tend to sit on opposite ends of a spectrum.

Floyd, who tends to do things more physically, can connect to Azul, whose strength under the sea is admirable. Floyd, who enjoys obtaining things that require hard work, can connect with Azul, who works hard to obtain the things he wants. Floyd, who values his individuality, is interested in Azul, who wants to become the best version of himself.

Jade, whose energy is more focused on plotting and mind games, can connect with Azul, who's witty and able to manipulate things to his favor. Jade, who collects various things that interest him, is interested in Azul, who has his own growing collection of coins that has stayed until now. Jade, who values connection, wants to connect with Azul, who also wishes to connect with others, not just in a business sense, but also on a personal level with select folks.

It's a big part of why their teamwork works so seamlessly. Azul being able to connect with both of the twins allows him to make plans and schemes that can be done with both of them by his side. And while he acknowledges that he can't control the twins, Azul is able to get them to follow him willingly because of that connection they share.

[jamminvroomvroom]

on the weekends.

gr x fem!reader

finally done with the george win smut! sorry it took ages but we made it lol - mentally i am still in brazil. lemme know what you think ily ily ily!!

btw this is not linked to the george fic, this is a standalone! dedicating this one to @wetforwolff and @lovely-leclerc - you asked, you shall receive <3

warnings: 18+!! it’s smut!! bit of fluff, bit of angst, language, alcohol

3.5k words

you’d anticipated this day for as long as you’d known george. he looked like a winner, walked like a winner, talked like a winner. he fucked you like one, too.

back when you were just getting toto his coffee and george was making powerpoints, you knew this day would come. when you were taking on a bigger role and he was dragging the williams into q3, you knew this day would come. when you were finally at the top of the job ladder, draped in merc team kit in the garage every weekend and he was pulling a top five out of the bag every single time he got in the car, you knew this day would come.

you’d been stood in the back of the garage biting your nails, trying not to draw attention to yourself and your nerves. the humidity drove you insane, but not as much as he did. no one needed to know just how close you and george could get after a long weekend, and now wasn’t the time to publicise it. toto was back at the factory, leaving you exposed; usually you’d hide behind him when things heated up on track. you weren’t supposed to care which merc brought it home p1. a win was a win, a one-two was a one-two, and lewis was on the hunt. fair game. you knew you were fucked when you prayed that car number sixty three would come out on top. you knew it was foolish and selfish but a celebratory night in the sheets boded better than a consolation fuck.

a mercedes one-two and a meltdown at redbull rounded off your weekend perfectly. george had done it, just like you knew he would. lewis had pulled off the recovery drive that added more flavour to his greatness. a perfect day in the office, realised by three trophies to tell the tale.

toto was blowing up your phone. you answered, trying to wade through the masses in parc ferme. you lingered by the scales, pressing the big green button on your phone, toto’s face filling the screen, aged by a lacklustre season, masked by the elation of triumph. you beamed as you rambled about data and upgrades and and told him that you’d try and find george. you didn’t need to look much further.

a large hand ghosted over your waist, a shiver running up your spine and back down again. you turned, breath hitching in your throat. he was breathtaking; sweating, blue eyes clouded red, veins prominent in his trembling hands. his hair was a mess, body shaking from the adrenaline and his smile was so wide, so emotional that you almost doubled over. you couldn’t help but stare at him, at the blood, sweat and tears that had made him great. beautiful bastard.

you very rarely felt small in the presence of a man. you refused to, taking up space was the key to survival in your line of work. but for once, you allowed yourself to shrink, to succumb to it, the size of george. the size of success. he looked different, powerful. your thighs clenched.

all he did was stare back at you, a telepathic communication pinging backwards and forwards.

he was going to ruin you, and you were going to let him.

“are you there? hello?” toto grumbled, too excited to be mad at your ignorance towards him.

“oh- um,” you fumbled, thrusting the phone towards george. “it’s for you.” you smiled. his fingers brushed yours in the midst of the transaction and you shivered again. “someone’s very proud of you.” you murmured, eyes never leaving his.

you let your tongue swipe your bottom lip, hoping he knew that amongst all the chaos, you weren’t just talking about toto. it was dangerous to be so obvious in public, you could do that later, on your knees. with toto harping away in the background, george’s eyes darkened; it was too much, the adrenaline and your double meanings. dark blue eyes mentally undressed you, glancing hungrily over your body, and you felt naked in parc ferme. maybe one day you’d let him fuck you in the garage, you thought. perhaps if he won a title.

“i’ll bet.” he mirrored your action and licked his lips, the quickest wink being thrown at you, the most carefree you allowed him to be in public, and he turned his attention to your boss, who was bellowing away like the world’s proudest dad.

tonight was the night. brazil never disappointed.

-

hours passed, the muggy afternoon blurring into the hazy night. the champagne flowed, as did a few tears, the man of the moment being carried around on anyones shoulders and hosed down with alcohol. the team had craved this, worked for it, earned it. it was a bit like your relationship with george, really.

you couldn’t take your eyes off him, your entire body tingling in anticipation for later. so when it was finally time to go, you tried to slip away, get back to the hotel as quickly as you could. but of course, nothing ever got past george. he was the right amount of tipsy to grab both of your hands in his, right there at the entrance of the hospitality suite, and insist that you just share his ride back. it was stupid, utterly reckless, but you were the right amount of tipsy to accept.

hands intertwined, you stared at each other some more, until someone cleared their throat and you were being ushered out into the exposure of the paddock.

he didn’t let go and you didn’t make him.

-

he didn’t leave you any time to go back to your hotel room, coaxing you easily straight back to his. the tension between you was suffocating, it had been all afternoon, but nothing beat the journey from the track back to his hotel.

you’d gotten stuck in traffic, just as you always did in são paulo, which sent hands wandering early, carefully hidden from the driver that had the misfortune of picking you up. he trailed his fingers from your knee and up, up, up, occasionally grazing the fabric of your panties. your thighs would snap shut every time he did, your face a flaming shade of red. you looked out the window with wide eyes, trying to mask the urge to roll your hips, and all he did was stare at you, a devilish grin spread across his face.

you’d hurried out of the car, stumbling into the hotel lobby. you both did your worst at pretending that you weren’t tipsy, straight faces wavering as his hand dipped too low on the small of your back. you gave in, foolish, letting yourself lean into his side, giggling up at him with your head rested against his shoulder. your were caught up in the moment, blindsided by lovesickness, as he guided you into the elevator.

your breathing shook, fingers balled up as you tried to resist the cliche make out session in the elevator. it’s as if he could read your mind, pulling one of your hands into his and intertwining your fingers. he didn’t take it any further, not yet, knowing that no matter what the pair of you may have wanted, there was a time and a place. both were rapidly approaching as the lift reached its destination and you were let loose into the corridor. suddenly, nothing was funny anymore. urgency takes over.

down the corridor, force the key into the slot, wait for the green light. your back is against the door the second it’s been slammed shut. you’re used to this, the sudden pounce of him. your relationship survived on stolen moments and hurried touches, rapid pleasure. it was intense and the need for more fuelled you both because once could never be enough. so when he kissed you, it was quick, carrying the force and speed of a race car. you found yourself realising that for once, there wasn’t a flight to catch, or someone just waiting to interrupt, and your hands flew to his face, taking control of the pace. you deepened the kiss, slowing him down and licking your way into his mouth.

he seemed to get the hint, and you felt the slow press of his body moulding against yours as your lips moved together, nice and deep. it was different. your heart grew about ten sizes, on the verge of exploding for him. you moved across the room in some kind of trance, floating to the bed. shoes were kicked off, merc embroidered shirts discarded in a painful reminder of a pile, unidentifiable fingers working in the darkness to undo his trousers, to tug down your skirt. in nothing but your underwear, you tumbled into bed.

you were a mess of touches in the dark, clambering on top of him, his hands finding your hips. he held you tight, close, encouraging the roll of your hips and you sunk into his body. you could make out his face in the dim light, his shadowy features contorting as he lost any remaining scrap of control.

you were on your back in a blink, kisses pressed to your sternum, over the lace of your bra, peppered down your navel. your panties were peeled off, flung behind him onto the floor, instantly forgotten. he’d been waiting to get between your legs all weekend, desperate for you after the sprint, forced to wait by the reality of your jobs. he couldn’t wait any longer, wouldn’t. he slung one of your legs over his shoulder, open mouthed kisses pressed from your knee, all the way down to your inner thigh, as his arm wound its way around your other leg, spreading you open.

he was ready to dive in when you pushed yourself up on your elbows, one hand reaching down to cup his jaw, making him look at you. his eyebrows furrowed, confused as to why you’d stopped him when he could see just how bad you needed him, the way you glistened for him becoming a familiar, welcomed sight.

“george,” you breathed, “supposed to be celebrating you.” all he did was smile at you, leaning in closer to where you were aching.

“couldn’t have done it without you, sweetheart.” and with that, he escaped your hold, licking a stripe through your folds.

you fell back into the sheets, eyes glazing over and quickly squeezing shut. george was messy with it, licking into your cunt with an enthusiasm that had you arching further and further into him. his large hands gripped harder on your thighs, tightening every time you moaned louder. his tongue swirled across your folds, alternating between long laps and featherlight flicks across your clit, the differing sensations having you embarrassingly close already.

“george, stop, i’m gonna cum. want you in me. please.” you begged, warning him of just how close you were to your undoing, desperate to feel him back on top of you.

he didn’t let up for a second, barely even acknowledged you. all he did was stare up at you, amused eyes twinkling through the darkness as he doubled his efforts. all of the sudden, you were numb with pleasure, writhing against the sheets. your fingers tangled in his hair, gripping at the dirty blonde locks so hard that it must of hurt, but just like everything else you threw at him, he seemed to be enjoying it, humming into your pussy as he helped you ride out your orgasm. it all felt too much, too overwhelming; you didn’t know whether to push him away or pull him even closer.

finally the pleasure began to subside, relief washing over you for barely a second before he was pushing two fingers through your folds. his tongue continued to curl against your clit as he slid his fingers inside you. you whined at the overstimulation, grinding your hips to meet his movements.

“george, i can’t-“ you started, panting, only to be cut off.

“you’re gonna keep coming for me, sweetheart. okay?” he told you bluntly, fingers working into you quickly. “do you know why? because i won.” he smirked, “i won and this is my reward.”

you could already feel your second orgasm building, his words along making you shake, his fingers hitting your spot each time with ease. you were dripping all over him, limp from the pleasure, desperate to cum just so that he’d put you out of your misery and fuck you.

“one more for me, yeah? one more, darling, and i’ll stop.” george murmured, thumb brushing over your clit, fingers beginning a deep grind into you.

“please, george.” you whined, eyes blurry with unshed tears.

he kept going, going, going, until you were shaking once more, seeing nothing but white, hips bucking wildly, uncontrollably. he had his mouth back on you, lips wrapped around your clit and his fingers buried inside of you, until he was sure that you were finished. you laid there lifeless, the aftershocks rocking your body while he licked his fingers clean. your mouth parted at the sight, eyes fluttering shut when you felt his lips working across your thigh, to the crease where your leg met your body, up, up, up, until he was hovering over you again.

your fingers interlocked at the nape of his neck, twisting in his hair to pull him close. he kissed you, ferocious, pulling your thigh over his hip to line himself up with your entrance. your mouths fell open as he slipped inside of you, broken moans tumbling from your lips and into his mouth. you could hear his breath stuttering as he sunk deeper and deeper into you, until his hips hit yours.

“how does that feel, darling? being fucked by the race winner?” george groaned lowly, lips skimming the shell of your ear as he spoke. you tightened around him inadvertently, feeling a rush of wetness at his words.

“so good, you’re so good.” you whimpered, absolutely pathetic beneath him. all you could do was give in, let him have his way with you. it’s what you both needed.

“i know, love. i know.” he muttered, his arrogance as he fucked into you making you weaker and weaker. it was obscene, the way his behaviour was such a turn on to you. if any other man dared to speak that way, so unsubtly cocky, you’d roll your eyes and find the nearest exit. but for some reason, when george did it, you were ready to fall to your knees; you got off on seeing him succeed.

“you feel like fucking heaven.” george sighed, teeth sinking into your shoulder as he slammed into you, rhythm never faltering, hard and deep into your dripping cunt. “all i could think about in the car when i crossed that line was you. knew you’d be soaked for me, darling,” he whispered. “knew it as soon as i saw you after the race, had that look like you were just waiting to be fucked. i would have done it right there, you know, in the middle of parc fucking fermé.”

you cried out, body shuddering at his admission, completely boneless on the bed as he rocked into you. you knew you were close, urgently approaching your orgasm, wanting to get him there too. you could tell he was getting closer to his end, breathing getting heavier, thrusts getting slightly more frantic.

“come on george, want you to cum for me. need it.” you pleaded, nails raking over his scalp and down across his shoulder blades, digging in to leave red tracks down his back. you could feel him tensing under your touch, chest to chest, breath mingling as he pulled away from your neck to look at you. to really, properly, look at you.

something happened, then, that you couldn’t quite grasp. it happened all at once, something changing in his eyes that you knew was mirrored in your own, something that you couldn’t articulate, that you’d never let him see before. you didn’t know if he was feeling it for the first time, or if he was like you, too scared of reality to let it slip through. as quickly as it happened, you were squeezing your eyes shut, overwhelmed by the pleasure of having him on top of you, your legs tightening around his waist, trapping him against you.

you fell apart, levitating somewhere above the clouds, seeing nothing but white. the only thing that brought you out of it, back to life again, was the feeling of his weight crashing down on top of you, not a millimetre between your slick bodies. the groan he let out was carnal, utterly delirious as he came down from his high.

when he kissed you after, making no effort to get off of you, you let yourself have hope for the first time ever.

-

afterwards, it was quiet. it usually was between you. sometimes there was only time for the quiet moments, no time for whispers across pillows or to be held in his arms. tonight there was time. you could hear his breath slowing, you own heartbeat still ringing in your ears. next, there was the crumpling of the sheets as he turned towards you.

you were laying on your side, facing away from him. you needed these moments after to compose yourself, to take it all in before it was over again, until the next time. his hand grazed your waist, down to where the duvet covered you, grabbing softly at your hip. you could feel his body heat, turning slowly to look up at him. he was resting on his forearm, fingers trailing over any bare skin he could find.

neither of you spoke yet, there was still no need. you curled into him as he laid himself back against the pillows, enveloped in his arms. your head rested on his chest, a sense of total calm settling over you. you dreaded these moments, because it always felt the same. he made you feel safe and warm and relaxed, and it was awful. it was especially awful when there was only one race left before he would disappear off on holiday, and then go back to his family, and you’d submerge yourself in christmas drinks in london and making sure that the w14 wasn’t as god awful.

then, you’d see him again in february wondering if he’d finally gotten a girlfriend, despite that inkling of hope, or if he was bored of your face every time he shut the door of a hotel suite. you were far too scared to broach either topic and somehow he always came back to you. what if he didn’t, though? what then? you’d never be allowed to enjoy him all the time because what if? what if? you were only allowed him on the weekends. he could only be yours on the weekends, when everyone else stopped paying attention. looks shared in the heat of the moment did nothing to change that.

“i meant what i said. couldn’t have done it without you, you know.” he broke the silence, and you were thankful that you didn’t have to do it.

you let his words sink in. you hadn’t been able to before, submerged too quickly into the white hot pleasure to form a coherent thought.

“it’s a team effort.” you whispered. you didn’t move to look up at him. you couldn’t bare it for some reason.

“no. that’s not what i mean.” his voice was somewhat even, only slightly laced with annoyance. george never liked having to over-explain himself, he was very good at making people understand the first time. apparently that had never quite translated to you, too much time spent second guessing him, and more importantly, yourself.

“what i’m trying to say is thank you. for everything. for believing in me.” he murmured, lips pressing against your hairline. his fingers found yours in the dark, lacing them together. “with you, it’s a different kind of team effort. always felt like you were on my side. when i was at williams, when i joined you at mercedes, you always had my back.”

you stayed silent, unsure of what this meant, words being spoken softly into the darkness. it was overwhelming, having him vocalise his gratitude to you, something he’d never really done before.

“always knew you’d do it.” you whispered, words fanning across his chest. it was all a bit too intimate, unfamiliar territory being explored for the first time.

he turned into you, your head no longer resting on his chest, the low visibility doing nothing to hide the desire in his eyes as he leaned in and kissed you. it was slow, soft, that feeling from before nagging at you as your naked bodies moulded together. one hand cupped his neck, the other still held tightly in his.

this never happened after. ever.

how long could it last? slow kisses turned into sleep, held tight against his chest as the night faded into the misery of monday morning, and the weekend was over.

-

we love an ambiguous ending lol

taglist

@boysthatgovroomvroom @thegirlinthefandoms @welld0nebaku @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @turningxstrange @rachstash @infinitebells @multilovebot @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @yeolsbubbles @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @nokiaholland @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @organasith @micks-afterglow @blueflorals @juno-1610 @lqvesoph

i’ve removed any tags that weren’t working! pls let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist or removed! <3

[autumnal-prince]

My Time at Evershine

I guess they're reworking Project ME into a more PC/Console friendly version. (This does kind of make it feel like everyone who was given access to Project ME were just unpaid beta testers but...I won't dwell on that too much)

I played Project ME on and off (at least until it stopped working on my device) but I just couldn't fully get into it what with it being a mobile game and all (and unavailable to emulate on Nox). So I am looking forward this as the third My Time game.

I do still have...concerns...though. I'll just put them under a cut if you're interested but be warned: Long winded and probably poorly articulated rambling ahead. TL;DR: Not loving the art style and I'm a bit pessimistic about certain game mechanics.

The first thing is the direction of the art style. It's almost too far from the style of Portia and Sandrock. I know a lot of people complained about that with the previous games. If I had a dollar for every time I saw someone complain about the MC looking like a child or harping on the character proportions...I'd be pretty rich by now. That being said, the the cartoony style was part of the charm and uniqueness of the other games. My Time at Portia is distinct, you really can't mistake it for any other game (like how when you see Code Lyoko, you know it's Code Lyoko and not possibly another show). Even the slightly less cartoonish style of Sandrock still retains that charm. Project ME kept up the Sandrock style so I was hoping if they brought it to PC it wouldn't change much but clearly that isn't the case. With the more realistic style it's lost it's uniqueness. Several people have already pointed out that this new direction makes it look too much like other games (I see a lot of comparisons to Palia and Dreamlight Valley in the YouTube comments) and I can't help but see MiHoYo's signature anime-esque style myself. I'm not saying it looks bad. It looks amazing! It just doesn't look like My Time.

Another thing for me is that it's more of a city builder than a building/farming life sim. Those elements are still there obviously but...trying to build up the settlement takes a lot of time and planning (again, I played Project ME so I already have a feel for this feature) and you're left with little time for the core elements of the game. Hell, I struggled to keep up with commissions while working on the settlement and keeping up relationships and collecting materials AND exploring. I constantly felt like I wasn't making any actual progress. It became stressful and if there is one thing these type of games shouldn't be, it's stressful. Hopefully they'll balance it out better here than in ME.

Lastly, and I know this one is something a lot of people will disagree with me on, but I already have a fear of them focusing too much on multiplayer/co-op. I know there is a (very) vocal group of people who constantly demand multiplayer to be shoved into every. single. game. And when developers kowtow to that demand, singleplayer always suffers. Always. I'm not saying that it shouldn't be implemented for those who want it or if the developers themselves want it but...some of us just want to be left alone to enjoy the story. Especially in a game/genre that is, at it's core, supposed to be a singleplayer experience. Sometimes though, developers focus so much on pleasing multiplayer gamers that they completely neglect the singleplayer campaign. Hell, that almost seemed happen with Sandrock (thankfully, it didn't but it got precarious for a hot minute during early access). This is somewhat two-pronged, too. Usually, you can ignore multiplayer stuff in a game if it also has singleplayer but it's become more common to force the multiplayer/co-op feature onto players recently. Such as locking features of the game or putting up a roadblock in story progression unless you play with other people. I dropped Magic Awakened after only playing for a few weeks because of this. When you can't enjoy a singleplayer storymode without having to do co-op tasks or something it ceases to be singleplayer (and fun...for people like me). I know Pathea wanted to expand on the multiplayer feature for their next game, I just hope they don't expand so much that it destroys the main, singleplayer experience.

To reiterate, these are personal concerns. I know this comes across as whiny and I'm not trying to be but I guess I've just become pessimistic. That being said, I am genuinely looking forward to this game. I've supported Pathea for a long time and I don't plan on dropping that support unless they do something horribly unforgivable (which I honestly don't foresee).

[crazylittlejester]

Hey, I'm going to be a tad bit ranty, and this by no means is targeting anybody but-

I am getting tired of some Zelink shippers on the internet man.

Like, I get it. It's a pretty darn cute ship and in some cases I love it to peices (Skyward Sword and Spirit Tracks Zelink my beloveds), but I swear some of us are straight up insane.

They go out of their way to beat down anybody who doesn't only ship Zelink or completely despise other female characters because it gets in the way of the "correct ship". Seriously I cant be the only one to notice the pure hate Ilia gets because she's another one of Link's love interests. Like, I get it, seeing ships you don't like is annoying, but to harp about how only one is right and above the rest is plan stupid. In some cases it doesn't even make sense, like for TP, but if you dare mention it it's as if you insulted their mother 🙄.

And don't even get me started on the homophobia. They act as if Link kissing a man or Zelda kissing a woman will send them into a coma.

I really like this community, but the shipping discourse is atrocious and trying to find somebody who also likes Zelink but isn't insane is difficult and if I mention I like it people are afraid I'm one of the crazy ones too. It's disheartening and is the reason why I don't even dare go onto Zelda Twitter anymore despite the amazing artist.

Sorry about the rant, but I really had to get this off my chest because I had the misfortune of stumbling upon somebody here doing the exact thing that ran me off of Twitter 🤦‍♀️.

I’m sorry you’ve had a bad online experience with that, I luckily haven’t had too much of that happen around me

I understand why people ship Link and Zelda in all the games, and while I personally don’t, I don’t disagree with people who do. I think it’s a bit insane (/pos) of nintendo to not really confirm anything and leave everything up to the player’s interpretation, and the best part about that is that we don’t have to ship Link and Zelda in every game. There are so many other great ships in the games! And yeah, homophobia is really disheartening and I hate to see it happen in fandoms I care so much about as a queer person myself. Personally every single version of Link gives me queer vibes in some way, and seeing people being so outright homophobic makes me sad.

Keep shipping who you like, as long as it isn’t problematic 🫶🫶🫶 The best advice I can give it to try not to let others ruin a fandom you enjoy, I just block homophobes when I see them

[guideoftime]

💕x 5

Five amazing people please follow them! Everyone deserves love!

▴ — @ourowndemise ;; Kohi, Ganon's carrd! One half of the most interesting gay dynamic I get to watch. I find you very interesting to watch, and the very long very detailed bio you have for your Ganon facinating. I know we haven't interacted or talked and part of that is my fault (I saw when you reached out and I at that time was really struggling RL and just never got back to your message I am so sorry) but I would really really like to try and figure out how Sheik and Ganon can interact. But outside of that I love seeing what you and Al come up with for Ganon and Kohga. I think they're absolutely adorable when they interact.

▴ — @rage-reloaded ;; Eli, muse list! A very, very lovely and very talented individual that I have completely screwed up with because of my inability to focus lately and respond to poor Ravio. The asks that Eli has answered for me have been on point and fantastic. Ravio is one of my favorite Zelda characters and he is my favorite "version" of Link. I know it gets complicated with him being a mirror conterpart for Link but I firmly believe him to be a "Link" and a "Hero" no matter what Ravio himself thinks and Eli plays him wonderfully in what I have seen. I really want to interact with you and him more, I would love to get a thread with him going properly or just to talk! To work out a plot for the two of them! Thank you so much for still following me and always feel free to pester Sheik too with whatever you want! You are a joy to see on my dash and the art I've seen you do is lovely too!

▴ — @devotedsheikah ;; Liz & Impa's Carrd. A very new friend, a very new follower, admittedly I have not played much of AOC to know a lot about this Impa and her character but what I have seen of you on the dash has been very entertaining! Sheik will always have respect for Impa regardless of the universe she is in and I truly do believe the two of them can have a very lovely familial relationship if you're ever interested in talking things out about them!

▴ — @twilitae / @legacyshero ;; Kheppie & Twi's carrd , Wild's carrd. You are a very lovely and interesting individual. I mean the interesting part in the most positive way possible too. Everything you make is so visually appealing and beautiful to look at, your graphics, icons, and even the formating you do on your blogs is incredible. I can't even begin to imagine the work that goes into all of that, I can't even be bothered to format a different color of font than the options tumblr gives us because it's so tedious to me. So I entirely admire the dedication and work that goes into doing all of that. On another note, your style of writing is very creative and eye catching. The poetic aspect of it is very admirable and I know I could never write that way personally it is pleasing to read. Despite following each other for (maybe a year at this point) we haven't had the chance to write together and I really hope at some point we do, or just to plot something out! I love seeing you on the dash and the things you do!

▴ — @skygraced ;; Rinn & Zelda's carrd! Welcome back! You and Bianca are the entire reason I have attempted to play Skyward Sword (despite struggling to stare at Link's big puffy lips and wanting to choke Fi out). I knew absolutely nothing about that game and from playing it I haven't really learned much more than I started with, so I can firmly say that the context and actual plot you guys have to play off of really doesn't seem like much and what you have taken from all of that and run with is incredible. I love seeing you on the dash, I love the little banter that Sheik and Zelda have developed and whenever you finally settle and back I would love to have an actual thread go! I think Zelda and Sheik can have really adorable interactions with their shared love of the harp. After we get past his panic over her being an actual goddess.

[power-chords]

Not to harp too much on a show that's been canceled and I am still a little bit sad about BUT: Westworld is such a fascinating cultural study to me because it's got this hilarious gulf between what the showrunners were explicitly telling a story about and what a sizable chunk of its viewership flatly refused to accept as its actual substance. And aside from the first season which I will maintain was flawless television, it did decline steadily in quality so I'm not trying to claim that it was some kind of groundbreaking work of genius. But it was smarter than I think its detractors give it credit for, and it amazes me that a show so clearly about the relationship between narrativity, memory, perception, and consciousness is stubbornly approached by way of cheap, dumb dumb video game analogies. Put the controller down and take some drugs! Question authority and your own assumptions! "But the guests didn't think they were hurting anything real!" Of course they didn't!!! They also didn't think that the park was a catastrophic, lethal accident waiting to happen! Because they were told these things by whom??? A company that wanted to take their money in exchange for a thrilling luxury experience! And that its customers were more than happy to believe! LOL

[hockeyboysimagines]

All good boys go to Heaven, but Bad Boys bring Heaven to you.

Deleted Scenes

If you haven’t read the full story, please do before you read this otherwise it won’t make any sense! Reasons for exclusion are in Pink.

Thanks for reading!!

*These are in no particular order*

There’s no real reason this wasn’t included. But basically I had too much material and this felt like I was just harping on Hallie being upset but not upset about Matthew being a dumbass. So it didn’t seem like it was needed.

“Don’t.” Hallie said from behind a menu.

“What?”

“You know what.” She peered over the top to find Carly staring pointedly at her.

“I didn’t say-“

“You didn’t have to. I know what your thinking.”

“What are you psychic now?”

“No your just incredibly transparent is all. I’m not talking about this.”

“Well. I am.” Carly set her menu down and leaned forward “I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t go out with him, but I think you should just talk to him.”

“About?”

“The other night.”

“That’s done and over with and besides I really don’t care.”

“If you didn’t care you wouldn’t have gotten so upset.”

Hallie was quiet.

She did care. Sure he’d hurt her feelings by doing what he did with Allie, but the real reason she’d left the bar and cried in the shower was because it hurt to know that he could so easily do that when he was angry at her instead of trying to fix it.

It was partially her fault, and she could recognize it now even if she couldn’t say it out loud, but she thought maybe she meant a little more to him than that.

But as usual she was wrong.

And any trust she had in him went out the window.

“Can we just drop it? I don’t wanna think About it anymore okay? I was drunk and emotional and I’m never going to let it happen again.”

*********

This just didn’t fit anywhere really, plus again like some of my other stories I had too much material and this didn’t fit in any of the other ones either. I didn’t want to bring Johnny into any of their drama either.

“What’s your problem.” Hallie asked Matthew as he strolled ahead of her. Usually he walked with her after games no matter the result, but tonight all she’d gotten was a dirty look and he’d been ignoring her since.

“No problem.” He said curtly still not looking at her.

“Yeah I’m not buying it. So what’s your-“

“You and Johnny looked pretty cozy in the lounge.” He finally said. His voice was clouded with disdain.

Hallie frowned “What? What are you talking about?”

“Don’t give the act Hallie okay?”

“First of all, Johnny is my friend. My friend that YOU introduced me to. And second all of there was nothing ‘cozy’.” She said air quoting “about it. He was trying-“

“I don’t care okay. I’m tired and I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“You brought it up, and we’re talking about it.”

“We’re not. And if you think we are then you can find your own way home.”

Without another word she turned on her heel and walked back inside the arena, presumably to call an Uber or find Carly who was still inside.

He was so mad he didn’t even try to chase her, instead chucking his bag in the car and angrily starting it before backing out of the spot and exiting the garage. He drove for a while, angry thoughts clouding his brain.

He’d seen her smiling at Johnny, laughing at what was probably a dumb joke that wasn’t even funny. How could she? Why would she? Didn’t she know how he felt about her? Didn’t she care?

But as he turned onto a backroad he realized that she didn’t know how he felt because he didn’t tell her. In fact she probably had no idea. And he really couldn’t blame her. He’d acted like an asshole since he met her. Flirting with girls, drunk calling her in the middle of the night to come get him. Why would she care after all that?

And yet, here she was being so easily convinced by one of teammates to give him another chance. And he was accusing her of messing around, when he had no right to even do that at all.

“Fuck.” He sighed as he pulled a U-turn and headed back towards her apartment. He was, once again, swallowing his pride and apologizing, which is something he was going more of now than ever before.

He hoped she was home as he pulled up next to her car and got out. He glanced up at her window, and saw a faint light coming through the curtain. As he made his way up the steps he felt like each of his legs weighed 100 pounds. He hated that he upset her, and that he was again having to apologize for it.

He reached her door and knocked three times. When there was no answer he knocked harder and called out “Hallie?”

“Go away.”

He sighed and leaned his head against the door “I’m sorry okay? Can we talk?”

“No.”

He knocked again, and then again, and then the knock became a loud bang and she was forced to open the door.

“Are you trying to get me evicted?” She seethed at him. She looked annoyed but she didn’t look angry, which was good because had she been angry there would have been no talking to her.

“If it means you have to come out and talk to me then yes. Can I come in?”

“No you can say what you have to out here.”

He sighed and braced a hand on the doorframe “Look I didn’t mean what I sa-“

“That’s a lie. I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to have friends.”

“No I just-“

“I don’t wanna hear it.” She snapped “Johnny was trying to talk me out of never speaking to you again, and you say some shit like that to me? I’m done with this.” She made a move to shut the door but he stopped her and took a step inside.

“Get out-“

“No. I’m not getting out. Look.” He huffed “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just get so crazy when it comes to you. And yeah I’m a total fucking idiot I get it. I’m sorry for what I said, you know I didn’t mean it.”

“It doesn’t matter if you meant it. You said it. That’s what matters. I mean…” she trailed off, and he saw her lip tremble and her eyes get glassy “Do you really think that of me? That I would do something like that?”

“No Hal of course I don’t. I was just being stupid okay? I think your amazing.”

She didn’t look convinced, but stood there arms folded until he said softly “I’m sorry.”

She looked like she wanted to hit him, and he would have deserved it if she had, but instead she simply said “Okay.”

“So…can we hug it out-just a little bit?” He asked opening his arms with a small smile.

“Don’t push your luck-oof.”

“Get over here!” He cut her off, sweeping her into a tight embrace, and knocking her glasses off her nose in the process. He sighed contentedly and closed his eyes, resting his chin on the top of her head.

“Love you Hal.”

“Yeah…I love you too.”

*************

I kind of just wrote this part because it came to me but then I didn’t really have anywhere to put it so I never added it. I wish I had though.

Hallie jumped when the bathroom door banged open, and wiped the shampoo from her eyes.

“Carly?”

“No it’s me.”

“Matty get out!” She screeched, hands flying to cover all her important parts.

“It’s not like you have anything I haven’t seen and besides this is my bathroom .” She heard some fumbling around and the sink turn on momentarily before she peeked around the curtain.

He was standing, shirtless wearing only boxers, hair everywhere while he brushed his teeth. He turned and smiled at her.

“Morning sunshine!” He said. He acted cool about it but he could just faintly see the outline of her body behind the curtain and the boxers he was wearing became acutely uncomfortable.

“Can’t you brush your teeth in the other bathroom?”

“How would I brush my teeth if all my stuff is in here?”

“You could take it and leave.”

“Nah. I like this sink better. And besides Noah and Carly are both in there which means I’m not getting within 10 feet of that door.”

She frowned and slowly moved back behind the curtain. He was quiet for a few seconds before he spit and do spoke again.

“So what’s your plans for the day?”

“Matthew I’m not having a conversation with you while-“

“Me? Nothing much. Lets get lunch later yeah?”

She held back a small laugh and turned it into a cough but heard it anyways “Okay fine we’ll go to lunch. Are you done brushing your teeth?”

She poked her head out to find his toothbrush gone but his face covered in shaving cream now. He turned to her and smiled, razor in his hand.

“Well isn’t this just so domestic.”

***********

I didn’t want to include any kind of details about what happened after the sex in the cabin because I didn’t wanna drag that scene out. I probably should have included this but again, I had too much material.

Hallie woke up the next morning and realized to her horror she was asleep next to Matthew, very few items of clothing between them.

Had she done the unthinkable?

Had she had sex with Matthew?

In cabin with all their friends?

Was she high?

The answer to all of those questions was yes, even maybe the last one. There was no other logical or acceptable answer other than she was high on some serious shit for her to do what she did.

She closed her eyes and let out a long breath, panic bubbling up in the form of bile. She very slowly but effectively inched out from under him without waking him, and painstakingly cracked the door barely wide enough for her to slip through. The house was quiet, which meant no one was up yet and she bolted to her room, closing the door behind her as a tear slipped over her lower eyelid. And then a laugh. And then more tears.

And then she wiped them away because she heard a door open somewhere in the cabin and knew that their friends would be waking up soon. She wasn’t sure how cool she could play it, especially in front of Carly.

She would definitely know something was up. She took a deep breath and stood, changing before she slowly exited her room, peering into the hallways. She didn’t see anyone, and turned to quietly close her door. When she turned back around, Matthew had materialized from nowhere and she jumped.

“Jesus!” She clutched at her heart and looked up at him.

“Where’d you go this morning?” He asked quietly. He looked a little hurt, and Hallie immediately felt bad.

“I just-I went to my room.”

“Why?” When she didn’t answer he spoke again “You regret it don’t you?” He looked crestfallen and Hallie could have started crying right there just looking at his face.

She lifted a hand up to his chest, placing it over his heart “No. of course I don’t. I just don’t feel like it’s anyone’s business what happened last night. At least not right now. I just wanted to keep it between us. That’s all.”

He smiled at her, placing his hand over hers “Last night was amazing. And I-“ but he stopped and cleared his throat “I just want to make sure you felt that way too.”

“It was. But let’s talk about this some other time okay? When it’s just us.”

“Okay.” He smiled and glanced over his should before he leaned down and gave her the sweetest of kisses that made her weak in the knees.

“Come on.” He said “Let’s start breakfast.”

************

This is part of the drive to the cabin, but I didn’t feel like it was significant to the story so it got cut.

“I’m glad this is funny to you.”

“It’s hilarious.”

She and Matthew had been stuck in traffic for almost 45 minutes and she was getting more annoyed with him as the time went on. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was in love with him or wanted to kill him but either way, it was grinding on her nerves and they were practically raw by now.

If she was being honest she was upset more because she didn’t believe him about what had happened the other night. She wanted to, but she didn’t trust him. Although it felt great to be around him again, her guard was up.

“Hallie listen. About-“

“Don’t. Don’t ruin this. We’re having a nice time together, we don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

He looked a little troubled but nodded “Okay. I am sorry though, for what it’s worth.”

“It’s worth a lot. Thank you.”

***********

I had a whole sequence where they had a big fight after the sex in the cabin and they split up but then I felt like since they spent most of the first chapter arguing, that they deserved to be happy and blissed out for a while. So I took it out.

“You know what I think? I think your afraid.”

She glared at him, eyebrows furrowing “Oh yeah? Of what?”

“I think your afraid of the way I make you feel.”

She swallowed and opened her mouth to speak “How you make me feel? You make me feel like I’m losing my fucking mind!” She screamed hands flying up.

“You know what I mean. You can act like you don’t have feelings for me, like this is just about sex but you know that’s a lie.”

“Oh please.”

“Yeah oh please is right. I’m done with this. I can’t take this back and forth anymore. Do you fucking want me or not? It is not that difficult to decide. But I am done with this happening between us. I can’t do it anymore. It’s fucking killing me Hallie. Please.” He sounded desperate as he stood there in her kitchen, eyes pleading with her.

When she didn’t speak he turned and walked angrily towards the door.

“Wait.” He paused, hand on the doorknob and half turned. She was still in the same spot but her hands were down by her sides now.

“Fine.” She said quietly “I’m afraid. I’m terrified.”

His hand fell from the door “But why?”

“Do you really need to ask that question? You know why.”

“I’m not that guy anymore Hallie and you know it. I mean I’m really trying here, and I’ve never done that for anyone before. I mean can you not see that? Can you not see that I want to be with you?”

She sighed and nodded, eyes closing “I know. And I’m sorry. I’m just so-“

“Scared? I know.” He reached for her, pulling her into a long hug “But please just give me a chance. Trust me. Or at least try. Can you do that?”

She nodded against his chest “I can.”

************

I just didn’t want this part. That’s why it wasn’t included.

Hallie bounced off the sofa when she heard a knock at her door and pulled it open, expecting Matthew.

“Hey you-“ but she came face to face with Carly instead, who looked at her confused.

“Excited to see me?” Carly asked.

“Oh Uhm hey what’s up?”

“I was in the neighborhood and I left my bag and jacket here last week so I figured I’d come pick it up.”

“Oh yeah definitely.” Her eyes swiveled over Carly’s shoulder just in time to see Matthew himself turn the corner and freeze when he saw Carly.

“Uh why don’t you come in quick? I’ll grab your stuff.”

She gave him a look and he quickly disappeared back from wherever he came from. She found her jacket, chatted with Carly for a minute and then walked her out the door, hoping to god Matthew had parked around the corner instead of in the lot. She watched Carly leave, holding her breath until she was gone from the parking lot, before she texted him.

Coast is clear

He came in a a few minutes later, looking grim.

“Damn that was close.” He said pulling her in by the waist.

“I know I thought we were caught.” He kissed her deeply, lips moving against hers feverishly.

“Mmmmmm. I missed you today. Coach was riding me at practice and it wasn’t like I could tell him I was slow because I spent all night riding you.”

“Matthew!” She gasped, as his hands drifted under her shirt, brushing against the underwire of her bra.

“What?”

“How’d you like to get back on?”

He pulled back to look at her “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

*************

I forgot I even wrote this part, because it wasn’t saved on the original document.

“Where are we going?” Noah asked as he sat in the passenger seat of the Audi.

“The grocery store, and then I need to get new socks.” Matthew leaned back to get his sunglasses from the backseat when he spotted something.

A pair of pink, lacey underwear that belonged to Hallie were lodged between Noah’s seat and the center consul. He swallowed and glanced at Noah, who seemed not to notice, and very slowly plucked them out and dropped them on the floor of the back, before swatting them under Noah’s seat.

He smirked a little, remembering her frantically searching under the seat just that morning when he met her before she had to work.

While sneaking around wasn’t really practical, it was totally hot. But they had gotten careless. Lost underwear, almost getting caught by Carly. Last week they’d been in the shower together while Noah was knocking on her door, to drop off clothing Carly had for Hallie. He supposed they could only keep this going for so long, but he would as long as she’d allow it.

“What are you doing?” Noah asked beginning to turn to him.

“Nothing nosey, Jesus.”

*********

That’s all! I hope you enjoyed this! Let me know what you guys think!

🤍🤍🤍

[the-iron-shoulder]

kinda feel like Christopher Larkin is trying to kill me 😭

[description: a brief snippet of the song Nightmare King being automatically played on an on-screen piano, so you can see which keys the player is supposed to hit when. It is very fast and chaotic. End description.]

God I love this song SO MUCH but that’s a good thing because WTF IS THIS, LARKIN 😭

it sounds so gooooooooood but my god that part is SO fast and SO chaotic and SO precise and also I’m supposed to play it, or something very very similar, on three voices (piano, cello, contrabass)… I don’t actually play the cello or the contrabass so those will be keyboard just like the piano, but my god this is a lot

I love it but I also have been practicing this song literally for months and goddddd the hits just keep coming

I mean it’s hella appropriate, it’s fuckin’ Nightmare King, it’s one of the most intense boss battles in a game full of super intense boss battles, of COURSE the song is going to put me through the wringer, but goddddddd whyyyyyyyyyyyy

I imagine there’s someone out there whose favorite songs are all simple, gentle atmospheric pieces and they can just learn them and be delighted, but oh no, not me, I have to be obsessed with boss fight music, the more intense and wild and sweeping and dramatic the better, and just look where that gets me

ahhh it’s fine I’m just flailing and wailing but I’ll learn it and it’ll be the coolest cover i’ve ever recorded, just you wait… but my GOD I am just SO GOOD at getting myself into projects that are WAY TOO BIG (I mean I built a motherfucking four-and-a-half-foot-tall harp in my living room a couple years ago) and this is just the latest such example

[chrysoula]

On the boy’s side of the lodge, Kage fluttered down from the skylight, whistling. Kazuha stopped playing and looked up, smiling, but the nightbird chose to land on Xiao’s unexpectedly uplifted hand. It clicked at him, turning its head this way and that to eye the yaksha brazenly.

Xiao’s mouth twisted, and he tossed Kage into the air again. “Ambitious little one.”

“What did he say?” Xingqiu asked, as the nightbird smugly alighted on Kazuha’s harp. He’d been reciting bits of unidentified books in order to make Albedo sketch cartoons, and he welcomed the chance to rest his voice.

Dainsleif held out a relaxed hand to Kage. Xiao shrugged and then, unusually, volunteered, “It offers to assist me yet again.”

The bird chattered at Xiao before gently biting Dainsleif’s finger, which the Khaenri’ahn endured without comment. Xiao almost seemed to smile, but shook his head. “No. I am not as softhearted as Dainsleif.”

“Ahem,” said Dainsleif, a prelude to grumbling that Xingqiu blithely talked over.

“Wait a moment. Is Kage trying to make you teach him? But what? How to use a spear?”

“How to fly faster, strike harder. It’s… ambitious,” Xiao repeated. “And cheeky.”

Kazuha laughed and stroked his knuckle down his friend’s feathers. “And fearless. I think travel has only increased his self-confidence.”

Albedo stirred and turned a page in his sketchbook. “I suspect Kage is enjoying being an invasive species all on his own.” The bird, perched on Kazuha’s harp, took shape on the paper.

“I would have looked for a little more sense in the shadow of Daybreaker, but I suppose that’s too much to ask from a member of this expedition,” said Dainsleif acidly.

[pearlescentpearl]

🌧️ 🌤️ for the WIP game?

Something angsty!

“Hypocrisy.” Daergwaedûn shifts from foot to foot, troubled. “Please don’t misunderstand me; these thoughts aren’t recent. I’ve been turning them over in my mind for many centuries now. It is only the arrival of the Golodh — then and now — that brings them to the fore.”

“Just get to the point already,” Eöl snaps.

“Our dead come back in Uttermost West,” Daergwaedûn repeats. “We alone are blessed such. We know this to be fact, as our Queen teaches us. And yet— and yet we revile Kinslayers above those who used to hunt the petty-dwarves as animals, when those deaths are permanent.” He says this all in a rush, as if fearing Eöl will stop him, will yell at him. “Our dead come back. The dwarven deaths are permanent. But we treat Kinslayers as worse than dwarf-slayers. At least the victims of Kinslaying may live again, and be apologized to! No one will ever be able to apologize to the dwarves they killed for no other reason than because they were strange and uncomely and made unfamiliar noises and—”

Eöl claps a hand over his Steward’s mouth, heart racing. Daergwaedûn’s tawny eyes are wide and wet.

He’s never known Daergwaedûn to hunt anything in his entire life, no inclination for it whatsoever. But they met in Eglador before it was Doriath, and he knows which parent Daergwaedûn avoids most.

“Your father,” Eöl says, and it’s not a question. Daergwaedûn nods. 

And for favorite dialogue... hmm, tough one.

“Alright!” Fëanáro declares with a decisive clap, everyone now ensconced in the eastern solar, and Nelyafinwë in particular safely away from any fires. “I don’t know why, and I don’t know how, but one particular Silmaril is trying to kill your brother. Or, to clarify, as inanimate objects cannot possess any will, much less a murderous one, it desires your brother to deliver it into a fire with himself attached. This is obviously going to necessitate some safety precautions from now on. Yes, Telvo?”

Telufinwë lowered his politely raised hand. “Are the other Silmarils going to try to kill Nelyo too?”

“Are the other Silmarils going to try to kill us too?” Pityafinwë adds on.

Nelyafinwë, sandwiched between them, looks grim.

“I have no idea,” Fëanáro tells them honestly. “That’ll go on the theory board.” Atarinkë, the closest to the wall of chalkboards spanning half the room, obligingly writes it down. “I am also wondering why that one jewel, and why only Nelyafinwë. Though, believe me, I am profoundly relieved it is only the one of you and not all of you.”

“One against seven would end very badly,” Kánafinwë observes quietly, fingers fidgeting with his lap harp.

[soul-music-is-life]

PLL: Summer School Random Recap Ep 1 & 2

*read at your own risk: THIS HAS SPOILERS*

Tag spoilers if you're going to share.

Just a few of my favorite moments from the first two episodes of PLL: Summer School (PLL: Original Sin, Season 2):

Faran being right all the time:

Ripped out of the headlines. Faran...PREACH, girl. (side note: Sullivan really annoys me. I'm salty AF that she still has a license to practice psychology after not being an adult for the girls in PLL. I get it...A apparently threatened her kid, but woman...YOU ARE THE ADULT!). Also I don't trust her. And I don't like her.

Noa also being right, but in a more blunt manner:

Ah, Noa. Still my favorite. Perhaps it's her characterization or perhaps it's the way Maia portrays her...but I feel like she steals the screen when sharing it and when alone. No surprise given she was my favorite in the first season (still get chills watching that scene with her running through her complex to the roof with A chasing her). But she's upped the game this season. She comes across as so natural in her delivery. Nothing against the others. But sometimes I can tell I'm watching an actor play a character with them, but Maia is Noa. A+. No notes.

Imogen Emison reference?

Wait...wait WAIT...was this an EMISON reference? Am I the ONLY one who saw this?! "Pip gets Estelle in the end." Plus it was an LGBTQ couple who adopted her baby!!

Mouse is coming into her own and I love it:

Mouse and Ash are my OTP. And they play well off of each other.

Calling out the OG PLL:

Was this a shot at PLL and how easily Mona and Charlotte just cruised out when they wanted? Because I love it.

Greg is so not here for this shit:

The first time I laughed so hard I had to pause. Greg is an asshole, but I feel his frustration on the cult shit. And Kelly's "Quiet!" afterwards...peak comedy.

Kelly channeling her inner Alison DiLaurentis:

Oh my GAWD. This was some straight up Dark Alison DiLaurentis on crack shit (or Mona, since..ya know...she ran her best friend over with a car). I'm developing this theory that perhaps Kelly is in on Bloody Mary (goddamn, am I blanking on the Big Bad's name? I think I am). I'm fairly certain her mother and the pastor are evil. I paused when Mouse was reading something on the Spaghetti site and it was word for word worship talking about Bloody Mary being the second coming of Jesus. Also, I just hate religion as a whole. Like Greg, I too, am an atheist.

Mouse's Grandma being the "fun" Grandma:

Okay, so I was super excited that we might have been getting a semi-Grandma Marin character, but after watching I have this awful feeling that this might be a dementia story in the works (I don't know if I believe the "sleepwalking" bit). But she seems like she's going to be a wonderful addition.

Tabby's very pointed reference within a reference:

Tabby out there breaking the 4th wall. And I'm here for it. Given that the writers retconned/rewrote the Ezria adoption due to backlash, I'm kind of glad they read the criticism of Tabby making too many references that piss the viewers off and basically flipped a middle finger at the people who will find positively anything to bitch about. I think it's funny writing. Trolling AF, but still funny.

I hate it when writers cave to the viewers. And as much as I hated the idea of Ezra getting Imogen's baby...I thought it was so dumb to cave to the viewers whining about Ezria getting the kid. People harped on that so much. Ezra can die in a fire for all I care, but I'll go to my grave thinking that the people who complained about Marlene caving to fan service in PLL with the couples in the end are the same people praising the fan service here. And I hate hypocrisy more than I hate fictional characters. I'm a cynic.

Noa being real:

Noa complaining about the fitted sheet was ironic given I was trying to do laundry while watching. Accurate. Side note: I don't know how I feel about this Jen character. I feel like Shawn (Sean? How is it spelled?) is one of the few non-toxic partners in the show (Ash is still bae). I'm all here for bi-representation, but I don't like love triangles and I don't want them fucking with Noa and Shawn/Sean.

And speaking of love interests:

I love this kid and want to protect him:

I've seen buzz of people not trusting Christian...and I get it. First of all...this is PLL. And second of all Christian is a very...themed name for a show that is most likely going to have the faith-based cult be psychopaths.

But I am going to be pissed AF if they make him a bad guy after everything Tabby went through. Also, let's not make the first prominent black male a problem please (not counting the Dollar Store fake Eddie Lamb or Faran's dad, who hasn't really been villainy).

Final thoughts: Goddamn, Sandy ate it hard, bruh. I was kind of excited to see that rivalry between her and Kelly.

Loved seeing the power of speaking up about the sexual assault. HATED Wes still being a character and also telling Tabby to have sympathy for her rapist's mother? No. Sorry. She raised a rapist...who raped TWO girls. And she was victim-shaming Tabby. Where is that Bloody woman with the knife when you need one?

Speaking about someone I hated seeing: Sean's mother is a raging thundercunt.

Also: I've seen mixed thoughts about the couple setting a firm tone with Imogen about the baby, but I'm not going to lie...I get it. Most likely they know the shit going on in their town (move, MOVE NOW WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE CHANCE!). I do think they were kind of snappy with her, but as viewers we have no idea how often she shows up after having signed a legally binding document about the adoption.

Love interest wise: Don't know how I feel about Ash following the girls to that cabin, but also...why TF would they even GO there?! I like this Christian guy for Tabby. Henry kind of annoyed me crossing Faran's boundaries, but Faran punching Greg out was *chef's kiss*. And Shawn(Sean)/Noa are adorable.

Parents: I'm shifting to Tabby's mom being a favorite just because I think she's going to have the most screen time. It was nice seeing Lea Salonga again though. I still hate Faran's mom and I hate that they are all buddy-buddy after everything she did to her child.

New characters: Please don't let this swim coach turn into a creep, please don't let this swim coach turn into a creep. Also curious about the guy Imogen met at the Ice Cream place. And well...I'm already in love with Christian (but then again I love Noah Alexander Gerry). Jen is a bit wooden. Can't tell if it's the character or actress.

Curious about everyone's thoughts.

Honorable mention I forgot to screenshot and caption:

Mouse: "You're like Linda Hamilton from the Terminator movie. Don't ask me which one, I'm not Tabby. And you (Noa) are basically the Flash." Faran: "Fair." Noa: *shrugs* "Okay."

[very-grownup]

Book 15, 2024

There's something about an older paperback fantasy trilogy that can feel so ballsy when considering the current state of fantasy publishing, although maybe the main thing is how they can easily fit into a jacket pocket.

Patricia A. McKillip's "The Riddle-Master of Hed" is fascinating in the reminder of what a lie the gritty adultification of the fantasy genre is (we all know the direction I am looking in).

One of those loosely Celtic fantasies, "The Riddle-Master of Hed" is much like the later works of McKillip's that I've read in that McKillip has no interest in infodumping or taking the time to explain the world to the reader. Pick it up from context clues, you're here for a /story/. Let the first line of the wikipedia plot summary act as an example:

"The titular Riddle-Master is Morgon, the Prince of Hed, a small, simple island populated by farmers and swineherds. The prince, inexplicably, has three stars on his forehead."

What's a Riddle-Master? OBVIOUSLY IT IS SOMEONE WHO IS REALLY GOOD AT RIDDLES AND KNOWS THE SORT OF THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ANSWER RIDDLES. What are riddles? MOTHERFUCKER YOU KNOW WHAT RIDDLES ARE. It doesn't take long to pick up that a Riddle-Master is a highly educated scholar, a fantasy philosopher, and Morgon's a really good one. You learn that "Prince" doesn't mean "Son of a King", it's a title in and of itself that involves a spiritual connection to the land he's prince of (Hed). The stars? THEY'RE INEXPLICABLE you and Morgon know they're probably some kind of omen or mark of Chosen Oneness because you've read a book before and so has Morgon, they're just a signifier.

Before the start of the book, Morgon won a riddle-game with a curse ghost king and now has technically won the hand of the second most beautiful woman in the world but he's kind of embarrassed about the whole thing. Deth, a wandering harpist and messenger of the High One (God?), jostles Morgon into leaving Hed to pursue this and thus begins a novel that is entirely a Hero Trying to Refuse the Call. Morgon just wants to Go Home; this man has no great longing for something more than his little farm island and pigs and beer and maybe doing riddles but in a casual way, not in a inadvertently uncovering the secrets of the universe way.

There is a shipwreck, there are shapeshifters, there is amnesia and mysterious relic cities from when there were Sorcerers, people with pasts too long for their ages, foresty warrior women, dreams full of hidden knowledge, a legendary sword, an unplayable harp. It's a series of fantasy incidents that seem to only be connected by the fact that they keep happening to Morgon.

As I have also found with McKillip's writing, there's a dreamy, soft quality to everything that pulls you along gently. "The Riddle-Master of Hed" is not a page-turner, it's almost cozy.

And terrible things happen. The ending is startlingly bleak without fanfare. If you read "The Riddle-Master of Hed" as a standalone novel, it would be like playing a videogame with bad end possibilities and then leaving it there. It doesn't feel like a cliffhanger, possibly because of the quiet quality of McKillip's prose, possibly because of the fairytale elements in the style of McKillip's storytelling.

My only real complaint? One of the land rulers Morgon encounters in his journey is called the Morgol. Ms. McKillip, please, don't give me Morgon and the Morgol in the same book. Don't do that to me.

[rikumorimachisgirl]

Title: Game Over

Pairing: Ayumu x MC

Word count: 1871

Genre: Fluff

Prompt: MC plays otome games

Written for the @voltagefandomproject

Notes: I haven't written in a while, but I hope you enjoy this story. I don't own Voltage or any of its characters, but I own this story.

Here goes...

His POV

*Slam* 

That's the sound my office door made after I walked in and forcefully shut it behind me. Mind you, I don't always close the door that way - my parents raised me to become the well-mannered person that I usually am - except when a certain someone is involved. 

I'm sure that you've already guessed who I'm talking about. She also goes by the following aliases - Kappa Nagano, the snapping turtle of Nagano, my aide, my turtle… My girlfriend. Even after dating for over a year, she never ceases to amaze me with all the different emotions and reactions she manages to draw from me simply by being her usual self - like that one time she tried asking other guys to watch a meteor shower with her instead of asking me because she thought I'd say no, or that time when she drank whisky neat in front of her ex-boyfriend and passed out. I never pegged myself to be the jealous type until I met her. 

And now she's doing it again. The worst part is that I can't even read her this time around - either she's gotten better at hiding things or I've become sloppy at snooping her out. 

Wait, I've become sloppy at snooping her out? That's so incredibly lame! When did I become so uncool? 

Do you think I'm overreacting? You would, too, if you have a puzzle you can't figure out. Anyway, I'll tell you exactly what's gotten me into a foul mood. 

It was about a week ago when I started noticing a change in my girl's behavior. 

—-

"You seem busy."

She looked up at me from her spot on the couch. We arrived home from the Jurassic Land exhibit a few minutes ago, and already, my girl has plopped down on the sofa while tinkering with her phone. Again. For the hundredth time since I saw her this morning. And she wasn't just tinkering with her phone, she was holding it suspiciously close to her - like an ace student who wouldn't let her classmates copy off her exam. 

"Homework?" I asked, pretending I didn't know that she didn't have any. "Anything you need help on?" I wanted to give her a fair chance to tell me what it was that was stealing her attention away from me. 

I watched her eyes widen, and her cheeks flush. She clumsily fumbled with her phone and chucked it into her bag. "N-no. I'm okay. I was… I was texting with Naruko," she said with as much confidence as she could muster. 

What a liar, I thought, but decided to play along. "Oh really? What could be bothering Miss Sasaki so much, she'd exchange messages with you for four hours." 

I barely kept a straight face as I watched her eyes widen so much, I thought they'd pop out. "It's nothing. She's just… uh…"

And so, there I was sitting through her painfully made-up story of why her classmate was 'texting' her on a weekend. At one point, she promised to give me her full attention. But like most promises, that one ended up being broken. As soon as I hopped in the shower, she was busy with her phone with a goofy smile on her face. 

—

Her goofy smile as she tinkered with her phone has been a hot topic in the Instructors' room, too. As expected, Toru is the first one to comment on my girl's head-in-the-clouds expression. 

"It looks like she's found herself a boyfriend," my self-declared partner-in-crime harped annoyingly after he spotted my girl walking down the corridor while tapping away on her phone. 

"I've noticed that, too. It's like there's a spring in her step these days," Soma chimed in - not that anyone asked him. 

"My aide always has a spring in her step," I said, trying to keep it casual. 

"Yes, but it's different this time," Goto interjected thoughtfully, as he showed me her most recent test, which she aced. "She seems to be more determined to get good marks. Whatever the reason is, she's inspired."

The collective oohs and aahs from everyone in the room was driving me to the edge. I'm so annoyed already, why can't everyone just shut up?

I said a silent prayer to whatever Gods were listening, but they may have been attending to other matters at the moment because who else should stir the pot more but the chief? 

"So, the little bird is in love? That's wonderful. There's nothing better than young love."

"She's hardly even young anymore," I muttered under my breath as I desperately tried to keep my temper in check. This was getting more ridiculous by the minute. Was she seeing someone else behind my back? She can't be. I mean, she's in love with me, right? At least the last time I checked, she seemed to be. 

"What do you think, Ayumu?"

The Chief's question snapped me out of the little deliberation I had going on in my head. The next thing I know, all eyes were on me, as if I were the subject of an interrogation. 

I put on my best fake smile and gathered the papers that were stacked in front of me. "I think I've had enough idle time, so it's time for me to make my rounds," I said, as I stood and headed for the door.

I could've sworn I heard Toru say something to the chief about how sensitive I was, but I couldn't care less - I'd rather remove myself from the situation before they remove me from my teaching position. 

As I shut the door of the Instructors' Room, I came face-to-face with the very reason I bolted out of the room I was in. There she was with her friend Naruko - her phone in hand, and a goofy smile on her face. 

"I got a Super Happy Ending with Munechika. It took me a while, but I finally got to experience that toe-curling first kiss," I heard her declare cheerfully. 

Munechika, huh? Who the heck is he? And what's that about a toe-curling kiss? I was seething in anger just by listening to her go on and on about her mysterious new boyfriend. That cheater! 

"Right? Aren't tsundere the best?" Nakuro chirped happily beside her before our eyes met. "Hey, it's Instructor Shinonome!" 

After hearing my name, my girl halted abruptly and her eyes widened. Great, I thought. This is just perfect. 

"I-Instructor…," she stammered and pocketed her phone quickly. 

Oblivious of the tension between us, her trusty accomplice prattled on like I was part of their conversation to start with, while my cheating girl's eyes looked everywhere but at me. I could feel my breath hitch and my blood boils the longer I stayed. 

"A new guy, you say?" I looked pointedly at my girl, who now looked like she wanted the earth to swallow her whole. "I can't say I understand his taste in women, but well, as long as you're both single…" I said, emphasizing the last two words before I walked off as quickly as I could. To where you ask? Why, to my office, of course. 

I thought I heard her call my name, but my ears were throbbing and I had to get behind the safety of my office. It's one thing that I knew she was spending more time on her phone, but hearing her say another man's name out loud - was just too much. 

So now, here I am in my office, taking a few calming breaths to regain my composure. And just as I was getting my rhythm back, I heard the door bust open, and in comes my girl - with beads of sweat on her forehead and a little short of breath. 

But I can't deal with her right now. 

"Instructor -"

"I'm busy at the moment," I lied and swiveled the chair so I wasn't facing her. "Why don't you just come back after class? I'll probably have something for you to work on then." 

From behind, I could hear her walking towards me - her steps as well as her breathing were measured. "This won't take long." her voice was directly behind my chair so I held my breath and closed my eyes, hoping that she wouldn't see me in this state. "You were shaking when you left, and I had to come after you…"

I gasped. Was I too upset to realize I was shaking earlier? I was going to respond to her, but thought better of it. After all, they do say less talk, less mistakes, right?  I quietly sat with my back to her. Even when I couldn't see her, I could tell she was nervous - probably wringing her hands together. 

"Well?"

"Well," she said, breathing in sharply. "I think you misunderstood…"

"Hm?"

"Munechika…" 

"Oh, your new guy?"

"Instructor," she said, coming around to face me. I can tell she was deeply distressed. "Munechika isn't a real guy." 

Not a real guy? Now, I'm confused. 

"He's a 2D character from this otome game that Naruko recommended a week ago," she continued while showing me an animated guy in a scrub suit. "He's a fictional doctor who's hot and cold. I picked him because he reminds me of you. I'm sorry if you were worried, but I would never cheat on you."

2D, otome… So, you mean to tell me I've been jealous of a fictional character this whole time? This is making me cringe big time, but I think my face must've loosened up because I heard her sigh with relief. And now, she's got that goofy smile on her face again, but this time her eyes are on me, like they're supposed to be. 

"What are you smiling there for?" I asked. "You're not off the hook yet."

"You can't still be mad at me."

"Oh? And what about that toe-curling kiss you were talking to your little friend about?"

I know I sounded ridiculous, but I couldn't help it. And now, it was her turn to gasp. "Oh, come on," she said, her face turning red. "You give me so much more than toe-curling kisses, and you know it."

I smirked. "Do I? After hearing you go on about this 2D fantasy guy, I'm really not sure anymore…"

"But I do love your kisses, Instructor," she said, earnestly.

"Oh? Then prove it," I challenged her.

Her eyes shot wide. "What? Like, here?" 

I sat back and watched her look around, obviously worried someone would walk in on us. But no less than five seconds later, she gives me yet another surprise. 

Here in my office, on my chair, with the girl I love most on my lap, giving me the best toe-curling kiss I've ever had. She wins again. She always wins with me. That's how crazy I am about this silly girl. I guess she can keep playing her otome games and have silly little crushes on 2D guys who remind her of me. I suppose I wouldn't mind - much - after all, otomes always end with game over, but as for me, I'll give my girl the Super Happy Ending she never knew she's always wanted. 

The end.

[xentari94]

Don’t get people who say their Cayde fans...and don’t want him back. Don’t you guys want your favorite to get more stories told about them. I know I’m harping on but...In the 4 years Cayde was in Destiny, what did he get, in game wise (not counting weblore.)? He got Taken King and Forsaken. That’s it. That’s nothing compared to say, what Zavala and Ikora got lately. Wouldn’t it have been interesting to see his insecurities and deflecting mechanisms explored in game? Wouldn’t it still be interesting? Frankly, I keep saying Bungie bring him back because the alternative is that he’s forgotten. They’ve already erased him from the Arms Dealer, and I’m sure the nessus strike is next. Sure they might have given us a statue, a piece of weblore, or the occsional mention. But these are just bread crumbs.  One day, unless he’s brough back, there will be no one playing Destiny to care about him. And that’s what motivates me to keep saying this. I won’t let that happen if I can try and stop it.

Bring Cayde back. Bring Red War or Forsaken back. Reboot Destiny. I don't care. If it brings Cayde back, I don't care.

Some people do get over stuff. They’re sad for a bit but then they move on… And Cayde is a video game character so some fans just view him through different lenses. They don’t get overly attached like others have so it’s easier for them to let go and move on. They really believe it’s best for Cayde to stay gone even though they enjoyed having him in the game.

That’s the part I personally will never understand since I am the opposite. I get so overly attached to a game character because real physical attachments are difficult for me to make and keep. I played Destiny as an escape, somewhere I could feel more confident because in reality I’m anything but that. Cayde reminds me of myself in more ways than one so of course he would become an instant comfort character. And I keep my comfort characters closer than these players understand. It’s down to an emotional and painful level. It’s also hard for me to let go. That’s where they don’t get it because they don’t feel the same way and that’s fine, whatever floats their boat. They don’t have to want him back. It’s their opinion, their choice.

I will forever hope to see Cayde again, because it makes me feel happier to hope. To remain optimistic. At least until the game truly does end. I would love to see more content of him. Because to be completely honest, the way the game is going and what the writers are giving us, is not really grabbing my attention anymore. The story is just not there for me. Where it used to be and I really enjoyed it. It would absolutely crush me for Cayde to be forgotten. And that fact just keeps him as a comfort character close because I don’t want that to happen even if he’s not physically real. He might as well be, I mean yeah sure games are pixels but the characters are given voices, stories, backgrounds… pixels are the only thing separating them from the real world.

So yes I do wish Bungie would bring him back so we could see more of him and his story because I REFUSE to believe it would have ended with Forsaken. Had Nathan Fillion been able to stay I fully and wholeheartedly believe Cayde would have too. Forsaken was just a cheap way to end a problem that Bungie didn’t feel like dealing with. A cheap death. Cayde would have given so much to the story had he been given a fucking chance. And had the game had better writers. Sorry not sorry.

If he gets removed from the Nessus strike… god I don’t even wanna think about it.

I’m sure I’ll have a few remaining nay sayers that didn’t block me back in June come crawling out a hole frothing at the mouth over this. If so I’m just blocking. I’m not going through that again. Don’t have the time, energy nor want to deal with y’all people.