#I am transmasc I am queer I like ladies and men

[tu-es-gegg]

Beein honesst

can I bee so honest abt how qsmp make me feel

[opossumanon]

I just got reminded of an experience of mine a year ago now that serves as a pretty good example of the kind of shit trans men, transmascs, and transneutrals often go through.

(Full yap session ahead)

So I'm sitting with my new friends at the same spot in the hallway as always. We aren't exactly a small group. We're all different, but one thing that's obvious is that in the eyes of bullies we're all fucking losers.

So this one group comes up to us and starts to make fun of us. Every fucking day. Like clockwork. They're puny little shitheads who have barely started puberty. Their leader, who was shorter than me, couldn't even say "cavalry" correctly and was pronouncing it as "chavalry" for some fucking reason.

Every day, this kid and his buds come up and try to harass us, often by asking us about gay shit and asking me about my pronouns. Every day, I roast him and the group into oblivion and they sulk away to regroup and come back the next day.

One day, this kid is mad enough about me making him look like a small-dicked loser in front of his friends, that while walking away he calls out at me "I would fight you but I don't know if you're a boy or a girl"

He never acted on the threat thankfully (Probably cuz I literally chucked him out of a classroom), but the point still stands that this fucker and his friends were threatening to attack me for being trans.

This fucker and his friends looked at me, someone they knew had a vagina and tits, but used a deep voice and had short hair, and they couldn't tell if I were a binary tranny, a nonbinary tranny, or an ugly dyke. They wanted to beat me up for it, and also cuz my tranny/dyke self was making them feel emasculated.

This is the kind of shit that trans men, transmascs, and transneutral people put up with more often than some of yall realize.

(To clarify right now NO, I AM NOT SAYING THAT TRANS WOMEN, TRANSFEMS, AND FEMININE CIS WOMEN DON'T GO THROUGH THIS. THEY DO. WE ALL KNOW THIS. I AM SIMPLY POINTING OUT AN EXPERIENCE THAT MASCS, AND NEUTRALS TEND TO HAVE THAT THE REST OF THE COMMUNITY TRIES TO DENY THE EXISTENCE OF)

We're still threatened with violence. Our existence makes perisex cis men uncomfortable, makes perisex cis women disgusted, and makes both scared for one reason or another. The more masculine an "afab" queer person is, the appropriate it is to beat the shit out of them. Because she's a man, right? If she wants to be a guy and wear guy's clothes and speak with a guy's voice, then she can take the fucking beating that we give her, because that's just what guys do.

So transmascs will walk into a queer space and become the emotional punching bag of insecure queers, and then turn around and walk into a cishet space and become the literal punching bag of insecure cishets. We just can't win.

Obviously the queer space is still safer, which is why we're still invading with our disgusting testosterone-filled bodies. But it isn't exactly fun to try and engage with people we see as "like us" (queer) only to be pushed away because we're men, and if we're men we never deal with oppression, right? We can handle violence, cuz that's what men do. As men, it's our job to let the ladies and fems verbally diminish us because they were hurt by men and so they have a right to take out their pain on us. If we don't agree to this, then we're misogynistic pigs, and then "trans men really are the men of the trans community".

Transmascs with functioning uterus' are conveniently left out of abortion rights discussions, and when we try to announce our presence we're told to shut up. Transmascs who are passing are conveniently left out of trans discussions, and when we try to announce our presence we're told that we don't count because we aren't oppressed because we fully pass now. Transmascs who don't pass are conveniently left out of safety discussions, and when we try to announce our presence we're told that we don't count because we pass as cis women, and cis women have more privilege than trans women. (That last one is a real line I've seen on this site btw)

Trying to say "I want acknowledgement" as a transmasc present at a more friendly queer space doesn't result in vitriol, but what happens instead is that there will be a "transgender recognition" night that has maybe one trans man if we're lucky, and then dozens of trans women and more feminine-looking nonbinary people.

I'm gonna cut this post off right here before I accidentally type out a full-blown book of all the gripes I got, but the point is that you can't apply the baby-level radfem idea of "man bad, woman good" to the queer community. It's dumb as fuck in the cishet world, and it's so much worse in lgbt spaces. Literally the point of being queer is to fuck with gender roles. This doesn't just mean everyone is feminine. You can't walk into a queer space and go "men are evil" without it affecting half of the queer population. Trans men aren't attacking trans women by saying "I want to be respected as a human being, please". Trans men aren't trying to trick gay men into fucking them by saying "I want to be respected as a gay man, please". Trans men aren't trying to trick lesbians into fucking them by saying "I want to be respected as a boydyke, please".

If everyone in the community were to take a fraction of the energy and love they dedicate to feminine queers and use it to "reach across the isle" and try to connect with and understand masculine queers, the community as a whole benefits. Also masculine queers deserve to be treated well even if it doesn't give good things to the entire community, cuz we're people too. We deserve decent treatment because we're human. Who woulda thought.

(P.S. I still see the leader of the dumbfuck squad walking around sometimes. He's still shorter than me, but his hair is taller. I swear it looks a little more tall every time I spot him.)

[snobgoblin]

Such as yourself going through a self discovery journey do you think ace has? Either with gender or sexuality or both?

oooooh ok this is interesting... honestly I don't think he's ever had a gender crisis, he seems really happy being a guy and hasn't really shown a desire for anything else... I guess he could be transmasc but as cool as that would be canonically speaking I just don't think that's true for a lot of reasons. now sexuality is where it gets interesting... so we really haven't seen ppg Ace show any desire for romance outside of manipulation (playing into Buttercup's crush on him, then of course that time in the comics where he sang in the boy band and played into the You Can Fix Me... I'm A Bad Boy aspect to get his ratings up) and both of these instances were with women... BUT there's another thing. in Gorillaz, Ace also like??? grabbed Jamie's ass? I would say he's stealing his wallet but like... that's palm to cheek action there's no disputing it (ah sorry for the cropping I can't find the full image atm) of course, Gorillaz Ace is clingy, he is also shown touching Noodle and 2-D, but that was on the arm for both of them. this seems more. intimate

and this would lead me to believe that he does express a desire for men... and I do think he expresses a desire for women too! I don't see any reason you'd have a shirt with pinup girls all over it unless you like... liked girls... (suppose it could be ironically but I'm gonna go ahead and say it's not)

then, of course, he called Sedusa "hot" in Aspirations, further cementing he finds women attractive

and with all this said- I think it's safe to say that at the very least Ace is queer, there is evidence to be made(? wording?) for him liking men and women... but I don't think he would necessarily know the term bisexual, or identify as anything. I would say he struggled with his feelings for a long time... (I could go into detail why I think that is but this is already pretty long) Internalized Homophobia and all that basically, but I don't think that he ever had a moment where he was like "I am bisexual" I think he just kinda went "yeah I like a guy sometimes. so what. don't mind the ladies, either" idk it just seems like him not to worry too much about labeling himself- we know Murdoc and Noodle are actually the same way (to my knowledge 2-D and Russel have never elaborated on their sexualities) but this could also be biased because I hate assigning sexualities to characters that aren't ocs... I just find it limiting and a little bit disrespectful to unlabeled people (why do we feel the need to put everyone in boxes?) all I know is this guy likes guys and gals!

[cxparadisi]

i feel like a lot of transmascs feel on some level that admitting that they are fundamentally different than cis men is an invalidation of their masculinity and it makes them go to bat for cis dudes as if they face the same pressures and societal expectations as trans men which ends up in them being very stupid and transmisogynistic because they come into conversations where transfems are talking about transfem eggs and the way that amab people interact with masculinity and transmascs join the conversation with "let men be masculine".

because trans men do in fact face transphobia for being masculine. masculine transmascs are constantly scrutinized and attacked for being ruined women who will never truly be men, with our masculinity being held up as a prize we will never earn no matter what we do and which we are arrogant and destructive of our natural female bodies in our urge to reach. that joke about how if bathrooms are enforced by agab the trans dudes who look like kratos are gonna have to be in the ladies' room ends before the punchline which is that those trans men either piss at home or are forced to invade womens' spaces which has very real social consequences including threats to their safety. trans men with full beards and male pattern baldness cannot pass as women to most people, so to anyone who knows or finds out your agab immediately knows that you're transgender, which means that situations where a trans person might closet themselves for their safety(visiting transphobic relatives, not having to come out to people who knew you pre-transition, trying to access gender-locked healthcare) are unavailable to you, so the non-op ftm with a lumberjack beard still has that while he's trying to get a pap smear and that joke about mom insisting that the trans guy wear a dress to the family reunion only for him to show up looking like hulk hogan ends before they tell you what happens after that. chasers who expect every transmasc to be an androgynous twink happy to perform femininity for their sexual gratification absolutely punish trans men who don't fit that standard, and your current partner preventing you from transitioning because you won't be their girl on command anymore is a well-known issue. masculine transmascs also get a lot of shit from other afab queer people, often even other transmascs, who also expect trans men to fall neatly under "women and trans men who i consider women" so they consider you a bad ending for a cute tboy who transitions too much, which makes swimming in a toxic pit lake preferable to existing in some transmasc communities as everyone politely informs you that they wish you didn't exist.

so like yeah, trans men do face discrimination for being masculine. that discrimination is called transphobia, and is why it is politically necessary for them to advocate for themselves in a way that cis men do not need to.

so why do so many annoying transmasc people add "and cis men!" into any posts they make about transphobia? why attribute this to an attack on masculinity generally as if cis men are also told by their boyfriends that getting bottom surgery would render them sexual pariahs? probably most of it is extending "trans men, being men, are closer to cis men than cis women", which is true, past its logical limit into "therefore cis and trans mens' experiences are interchangeable", which is not true, and they know it's not true because when they're called out for being misogynistic a lot of them will suddenly understand that they're a politically separate category from cis men. i am sympathetic to the overextending thing because spending your entire life being told that you will always be a woman often leads to an urge to frantically dig your claws into the only men you've been told are Real men and associate yourself entirely with them. wanting to be cis is a form of internalized transphobia almost every trans person experiences and not examining that can make you say some real dumb shit. i am not so sympathetic to them derailing transfem conversations that operate with the correct assumption that some "cis men" are actually women because, having staked the validity of their masculinity on being just like cis men, the idea that they might actually be women and especially the idea of having someone try to convince them to be a woman is painful and triggering.

counterarguments:

some trans men consider themselves closer to cis women than cis men or find the idea of forcefem hot: yeah that's why i said "a lot of transmascs" and not "every transmasc in existence", but also trans people can have complicated or contradictory feelings on their assigned gender which is why transandro bros who talk about androphobia like they're considered cis men will still understand that many trans men are considered women outside of just failing to beat the transmisogyny allegations.

a lot of that sounds similar to transmisogyny: that's because transphobia is a part of transmisogyny! tma people are also simultaneously held to the standards of masculinity and femininity and punished for a percieved failure to achieve either, and of course some of this is misdirected transmisogyny from percieving masculine trans men as trans women who don't pass. this is misdirected both because what works for trans women often is not helpful to trans men and vice versa so analyzing it as the same issue leads to suggesting solutions that only work for one group and are useless or harmful to the other, and because even if you're attacked for being a dude who looks like a chick, a lot of that transphobia can be avoided by proving you're not a trans woman. if an afab person gets accused of being a trans woman the main thing people do to defend them is cite their assigned gender, not argue that trans women shouldn't be barred from the olympics. this doesn't mean that transphobia against trans men, masculine trans men included, isn't real, traumatizing, dangerous, and often life-threatening.

medically transitioning doesn't automatically make a trans man masculine and is not interchangeable with passing: yeah i know but "transmascs who present as and are generally percieved as male" is really long to type and a lot of stigma against medical transition is based on its masculinizing effects. this is itself transphobic because it relies on the assumption that beards and penises are masculine while boobs and vaginas are feminine, but that is unfortunately what is systemically accepted and enforced.

are you saying that being forced to closet yourself is a privilege: not in any systemic sense or outside of the most general definition of "being beneficial in some specific circumstances with heavy caveats and downsides". like yeah being able to get into a women's shelter is better than not having that option but also being forced into the closet makes people kill themselves so it evens out.

feminine trans men experience a lot of this too: yeah "feminine" and "masculine" are socially constructed categories that in practice no transmasc 100% falls into one binary side of, and transphobia against trans men affects all trans men.

what about the assumption that transmascs face less oppression than transfems?: dude trans girls aren't saying that oppression is a quantifiable resource you are allotted a measurable amount of they're just saying that there is an extra axis of oppression you're not experiencing. a disabled trans man living in bhutan experiences more axes of oppression than an abled trans woman living in canada but that doesn't mean either of their oppressions aren't real, just that in comparison to a disabled trans woman living in bhutan they are systemically less oppressed. it's also possible that despite belonging to more or less systemically oppressed groups they as individuals could have any range of experiences from a pretty good life with a supportive social network to being killed in a hate crime at age 14. nobody in existence is on every axis of oppression, and TME means that you aren't on this particular exact one and nothing else.

but cis men shouldn't be forced to be trans women if they don't want to: and people who like astronomy shouldn't be forced to become astronauts, a trans girl asking a cis guy if he's ever thought about why he's more comfortable playing games as a girl applies exactly as much societal pressure to transition as asking a kid who's obsessed with space if they want to be an astronaut when they grow up. most of the time feminine cis guys aren't going to end up transitioning, as most people into space aren't going to become astronauts, but just posing the hypothetical isn't harmful and at absolute worst might be a little annoying if you get that question a lot.

[idyllic-affections]

i, for one, would love to hear your queer harbinger hcs! my personal favourite is transmasc wanderer (its practically canon to me)

side note, im not sure if ill be sending alot of asks, but can i be 🐌 anon?

YAY omg... okay i will gladly share my queer harbinger hcs because i have a hard time believing that any of those people are both cis and het! and yes of course... hello 🐌 anon <3 also @zeldadou, i know you were also interested in seeing my hcs!

this doesn't include all the harbingers. as of right now, these are just my major and more detailed lgbt+ headcanons. slight nsfw but not really? just brief discussions of sexual attraction and how it relates to the harbingers' identities.

dottore never paid any thought to his identity, since it didn't benefit or affect him at all (especially back in his akademiya days), but he is very very much attracted exclusively to men in my brain. yeah he went on a date with a girl, but... you know. he also murdered her. so. yeah... also he's demisexual; he just does not feel any sexual desire unless it is directed towards someone he deeply cares about and has a strong bond with. he and pantalone are married, trust me fr /j /lh

columbina is genderless (she/it pronoun user) and lesbian. her angel motifs make me feel like it has no gender at all. after all... angels are eldritch. demons are reflections of human sin, but angels? they were never human. that is how i, as a writer, see the differences between angels and demons. so columbina, in my silly little brain, is genderless. or agender. or voidgender/gendervoid. who knows? but it has not a single ounce of gender in her body.

arlecchino is non-binary & lesbian. she likes women. who can blame her tbh.... she also has no pronoun preference and just presents in a more masc way to her underlings & her orphans (hence why they call her father, and why her underlings call her lord rather than lady if i recall correctly. also yes i am a short hair arlecchino enthusiast).

scara is transmasc & asexual. i know, i'm bold for saying that he's ace LMAO but fr, as of right now, i see him as asexual. i don't know why. i don't have a real reason for this one. however, i can explain him being trans--ei modeled him after herself, so... yeah. you guys see where i'm going with that one? yeahh he's transmasc i just know it 💥💥💥

pantalone is transmasc, demisexual, & demiromantic. why is he transmasc? i don't know. i don't have a real reason. i just feel it in my heart! his gender presentation is very androgynous and can be either masc or fem leaning--he's just secure in his identity like that yknow.... but i can explain why he is demi. being the richest man in teyvat, he obviously has to worry about being used for his mora. his attraction to people he doesn't have a very deep conmection with has generally faded since he's gotten to where he is in life.

childe is bisexual, but he doesn't 100% realize it yet! he's still in the closet. all his coworkers can tell, though. they know.

[wild-wombytch]

Hey ladies 💗!

You can call me Tañ. I'm a 24yo European disabled dyke with sometimes approximate English. I'm also an anarchist and believe genders and sexual exploitation are as oppressive as (and products of) patriarchy.

I'm a veteran of the Reddit misogyny and purge against "TERFs" for saying neo/microlabels and bi/pan "lesbians" are harming real lesbians and bi women. I was already starting to be skeptical and tired by trans women talking over lesbians with pretty misogynistic takes, so I decided to look into the so frowned upon radical feminism and gender critical ideas, sensing this Reddit drama was just the tip of the iceberg. That's after years being a TRA/libfem.

I'm tired of the marketable liberal feminism and queer communities and catering to males' feelings, when they're actively hurting lesbians to satisfy their ego and so called feeling of erasure (forcing females who want nothing to do with males to cater to their mental health still or trying to coerce them into sex). I'm also tired that "lesbian" is always associated with porn, especially porn for straight men. So I hoped to get to know the radfem community here better, because you are the only ones who seem to give a fuck about women at all these days and trying to keep women from mutilating their beautiful bodies instead of caring for their mental health. I almost did that to myself due to the trans agenda convincing me that I was a "nonbinary transmasc" and not just a good ol' dyke not aligning with heteronormativity, so here I am. I'm still reading and learning about radical feminism. To be frank, I've been quite brainwashed into the TRA/pop feminism cult bs and genuinely have to rebuild myself psychologically and get all these things I interiorised (to be honest, mostly out of fear of being thrown out of my own lesbian community, leftist and "feminist" spaces) out of my head. Including things about my body and the "queer community" pushing for us to cater to men and shutting ourselves up instead of saying things as they are. I hope I can learn by interacting with the community here. I frankly need some sorority to help me out of the patriarchy and its genderist Hell. This ideology definitely made feminism go back of 50 year. Males can wear dress and be feminine without needing to get into our locker rooms and females can be butches and bind to alleviate dysphoria without being men.

What else to say? I don't want to say too much for now, because the world is so fucking dangerous for women, especially if they go against the men ideology. I really hope to find a peaceful corner here where I can interact with other lesbians without getting witch hunted for stating science and that I'm not into penises and without fucking men filling up the only internet spaces where we can just have women talks about women issues without always centering or integrating men.

I also discovered things like the Moon School, which helps me healing my relationship to being a woman and starting to accept again that I'm a lesbian and don't have to convince myself I'm either trans or having to be exactly like straight women or that gender matters. I'm learning to get rid of the internalised misogyny and feeling like I can't love what I want to love, especially if it's "girl things" or be emotional...etc I'll likely open up more and act more like my confident self once I'm used to be able to state my opinions without getting banned. Probably expect some NSFW and New Age content here. I have a spiritual approach to what it means to be a woman (exploring Wicca and the Dark Goddess).

I'm still learning to use Tumblr, so apologies if the tagging is shit or if the reading is hard on my blog for whatever reason (tell me if I can make it more accessible!). I'm still not confident being here, hope I'll learn. Feel free to DM or send recommendations in asks (about how to use Tumblr, radfem communities, radfem books/Youtube channels, women-centered spirituality...anything really) or just introduce yourself! Straight women have valuable inputs too, but I'd prefer to interact with other lesbians and ex-TRA, since we have more shared experiences. Hope I'm not being weird by spam liking and reblogging your posts there!

Also warning word that my beliefs are bound to adjust as I learn about radical feminism and heal my own relationship to being a woman. I'll still navigate radical feminism leaning, but might go more tirf or other orientations over time.

⚠️ Everyone except the dni can follow, I won't tell you "pro TRA kys" like people say about TERFs 🤷🏻. If you don't want gender criticals, misandrists possibly in the future TIRF, TERF, SWIRF, Dianic Witches or whatever to follow you, you can block me. ⚠️

Again, I'm too new to know exactly what I'm going for except radical feminism.

DNI : Men in general, bi/pan/male "lesbians" (febfems are cool, I refer to mspec "lesbians"), conservatives, alt right, the genderist/MOGAI crowd can respectfully interact and is welcome to like and reblog, but you're on thin fucking ice

[semper-legens]

57. All Out, ed. by Saundra Mitchell

Owned: No, library Page count: 342 My summary: A collection of stories about queer teens through the ages - from a doomed soldier in 1870s Mexico to two girls mourning Kurt Cobain, from apprentice painters sketching a naked man to forbidden love in a sixteenth century convent, from two men making merry in Nottingham to who a rollerskating girl doesn’t kiss, this book collects stories across many LGBT+ identities. My rating: 3/5 My commentary:

Of course I picked this one up. I'm a sucker for LGBT+ fiction in general, and I have a habit of reading young adult literature despite the fact that I am nearing my thirties. It drew me in with the idea of retelling fairytales and telling stories of LGBT+ youth throughout the ages, the stories having taken place at various points in the past, ranging from the 1300s to the 1990s. While overall I liked the individual stories in this collection well enough, I do have to take issue with one specific aspect of the whole, which I'll get into under the cut.

First of all, before I begin to talk about individual stories, I must first address a glaring omission. See, this book has gay characters, lesbian characters, transmasc characters...and no real transfem representation. It could be argued that one character who contains multiple personalities, the most prominent of which is female, could be transfem, but that's still a drop in the ocean compared to the other identities. It was really obvious to me throughout that transfems weren't going to get a word in, which is annoying given that 1) they are obviously also a part of this community and 2) transfems are some of the most marginalised people in this community. If the editors and collectors of this book want to make a followup, there should be more transfeminine representation.

As always with short stories, I'm only going to discuss the few that jumped out to me. And the first of those is the very first story in the collection - Roja. It's a loose reimagining of the Little Red Riding Hood story, with the wolf in question being reinterpreted as a trans soldier boy nicknamed 'la Loupe', and the Red Riding Hood figure being a young woman thought to be a witch by her community. This is both an LGBT+ retelling and a Latina retelling, given that the action has been changed to 1870s Mexico and draws on the real-life story of Leonarda Emilia. I really liked this one! The romance between the two outcasts was sweet, and Emilia's stubborn refusals to give her lover up and let him be killed was really engaging, especially as this apparently begins her life as an outlaw.

The next story I want to talk about is The Dresser and the Chambermaid, and I'm really not sure how to explain my feelings towards this one. It features the slow romance of Mary and Susanna, a newly-appointed lady's maid and a chambermaid respectively in the palace, and their clandestine meetings below stairs. While I was greatly fond of the story (another of my weird special interests is the history of domestic service) I thought it was too brief for how vast in scope it was. The girls fall in love almost instantly and have a depth of attachment to each other that I found to be somewhat unrealistic given the short timeframe. Ideally, the story would have taken place over months rather than days - though I acknowledge that this wouldn't have made it a short story.

Finally, the last story I want to talk about is And They Don’t Kiss At The End. It's a simple little tale where a teenage girl in the 1980s tries to understand her lack of feeling towards a boy that she should be in love with, but isn't. I like the story's exploration of aromanticism in a time period where the term had not yet been coined; Dee really struggles to understand what it is she's experiencing and put a name to it. As an aro/ace, I get it. It can be hard to prove a lack of something as opposed to a presence of something, especially when that thing is as nebulous as attraction, and I think this story portrays that well, as well as the complicated emotions that can arise when someone's spent their life under a heteronormative culture.

Next up, a young girl is resigned to a life of taking on other people's sins.

[unhinged-transmasc-man]

Femininity is as inherently traumatizing to just as many people as it is freeing to others. Queer people need to stop putting something that makes people suicidal on a fucking moral pedestal. Maybe masculinity was a prison for YOU, but that doesn’t mean you have to project that onto men and masculine people who actually LIKE being men and masculine people. Why do people ignore that forced femininity is traumatizing??? One of the essential parts of the patriarchy is forced feminization (and not as a kink, which is another thing that pisses me off; the only way forced femininity is mentioned is as a kink or as a joke in transfem memes). Why are you ignoring this?? Femininity and masculinity are both as real or as fake as you want them to be, acting like femininity is inherently MORALLY GOOD when it causes trauma and very real harm and abuse ALL THE TIME is incredibly wrong and harmful. I’m not going to let you people make me think that feeling dysphoria is morally superior to being who I actually am, just because you think it’s icky and you won’t grow the hell up.

Go see a therapist (or do some work on yourself) instead of doing lateral harm and punching down at queer people. THINK before you contribute to transphobia by repeating the same rhetoric of society and the family members of trans men, transmascs, and masc queer people. Much of the rhetoric that harms trans men and transmascs is about “preserving femininity,” and YOU ARE HELPING THAT!!!!! “Why would you ever not want to be a woman,” “Femininity is inherently more precious and beautiful than masculinity,” “Don’t cut off your ‘womanly’ reproductive organs, you’re meant to be a woman.” THAT’S THE SHIT YOU’RE SAYING!!!! YOU HAVE IDENTICAL RHETORIC!!!!!! Have some consideration for the masculine members of the community you supposedly are part of.

People who say this shit don’t give a single fuck about trans MEN (or any masculine people) because they cannot get it through their thick fucking skulls that gender essentialism is bad. They actually love gender essentialism, that way they can always play the victim or align themselves as “one of the good ones,” and they can project all their trauma from cis men and masculinity onto people who can’t fight back! Because if we do they gaslight us!! They’re doing the equivalent of cishet parents giving their boy or amab baby a shirt that says “ladies man,” only they think it’s progressive, and violently shuts down anyone who corrects them. Everything about pride and queerness is made bright pink, full of upbeat pop songs and glitter. Some of that is fine, femininity has its place. But queerness is not inherently feminine. Queerness is more than “the girls, gays, and theys” (god I hate that phrase). Being a man is not incompatible with queerness. Being masculine is not incompatible with queerness. They can and DO coexist. Manhood and masculinity are both beautiful.

Holy fucking shit queer people really fucking hate masculinity

Like, I know anyone following me has seen me talk about this shit but fuck

This queer movie review podcast is talking about 70s glam rock fashion (a favorite of mine) and the one host says "an effeminate man is his true self, because masculinity is fake, the only way to be real is to be feminine"

Like, what the fuck? First of all, way to discount generations of queer people, and displays of queer masculinity, great job. Second, tell me you've never spoken to a trans man or a butch or literally anyone who's ever been forced into a feminine social role or feminine presentation without telling me.

I hate how pervasive this attitude is. I hate how it makes it uncomfortable, at best, to exist in queer spaces as someone who is not, can not, and does not want to be sufficiently feminine.

[iwannaban0nym0us]

So, I’m back! The trip was really fun and we did a lot of cool outdoors activities (including a snowball fight which was so fun) but y’all get to hear the queer and emotional parts of the story

So, to start off, my grayfriend was supposed to go on this trip with me but got covid a couple days before and therefore couldn’t come. My grayfriend collects snow globes and was planning on buying (at least) one on the trip. I’m really happy because i was able to find one (that’s a frog (which must be gay) none the less) that I bought for them and will give to them in person as a gift next time I see them

Switching gears now; I’m really happy that I was passing most of the trip. I think almost every single one of the strangers and guides and such read me as a guy which was really awesome since I’m transmasc. Oh and also my ticket had my chosen name on it even though my name hasn’t been legally changed yet!!!

Ok, next part of the story—bathrooms, every trans (and particularly nonbinary) person’s worst nightmare when traveling. Before I get into what happened on the trip for context I came out at the very beginning of the school year and am pretty openly trans. I’m transmasc and I present really masculine, despite the fact that I’m not a binary guy. This makes figuring out which bathroom to use really hard. At school it’s much easier since there’s gender neutral bathrooms (however out of the way they may be) while only like 3 places on the trip had that option.

I’m pretty sure that once we got on the bus for the first time every time I used the bathroom I ended up using either a gender neutral bathroom or the men’s room which is still kinda insane for me to believe. What I discovered during the trip is that girls I know even a little bit don’t question me if I go in the women’s room, while guys I know only a little bit give me weird looks in the men’s room but guys I know decently well are chill if I use the men’s room. Whereas when it comes to strangers I didn’t get a single weird look in the men’s room the whole trip while the like 2 times I used the women’s room at the airport I had 2 different people walk in see me and then turn around and look to see if they were in the right restroom. Which I guess means I’m passing but also really sucks because that gesture feels like them saying that I don’t belong there, and if I don’t belong there where do I belong? 

Given all of that information you’d probably think it’s an easy decision and I should just use the men’s room, right? Wrong. I don’t have a stp nor do I really want one which means that I can’t use a urinal. The problem with the men’s room is that it’s a toss up if there will be enough stalls for there to be one open for me to use. While in the women’s room I know there’s only stalls and if all the stalls are busy it’s normal to wait in line for them.

I did end up choosing the men’s room most of the time, partly because I went to the bathroom with guy friends and at least at the beginning of the trip I was not confident enough to go into any bathroom alone, and partly because I don’t know if I could of have taken any more of those questioning looks from random women. Surprisingly I think I only ran into the problem of all of the stalls being full like twice and one of those times was at the airport on the first day where I just ended up using the women’s room so idk if that one really counts.

Also it drove me crazy that our bus driver would constantly say things like ‘ladies and gentlemen’, ‘boys and girls’, ‘men and women’ and so on since he basically implied that I don’t exist.

Alright, last point, I think. So my crush who’s a cis guy on the boy’s soccer team and the programing sub-team on the robotics team went on the same trip as me. Before the trip I knew him maybe a bit better than someone who I’m not friends with but like have classes with. The first day or so I was way too nervous to do much more than say hi to him even though he was sitting across the aisle from me on the bus. I told my grayfriend about this and vae tried to hype me up and give me a little bit of their confidence but it didn’t work that day. 

Since none of my crushes friends were on the trip he ended up rooming with one of my friends and like through that I slowly started to talk to and hang out with him more. By the end of the trip I think I may be at the point where I could consider him a friend, or at least pretty close to one. Conversations with him don’t feel one sided at all anymore and he’s started initiating conversations with me instead of purely the other way around. Also like we were in the same group for most of the activities on the last like 2 days, including him sitting behind me when we went rafting and doing a trail run together (along with a few other friends).

Also because he spent a lot of time with my guy friends I also spent a bunch of time with (like purely) my guy friends which was super euphoric.

Overall I feel like the trip was a pretty big success for me as a transmasc mspec gay.

[aeide-thea]

i’m too tired to actually make this post in an articulate way but i sure am having an upsurge of impostor angst lately about, like, maybe all my gender feelings are bullshit, maybe i just gotta accept that i’m a woman after all despite all the ways that concept chafes [also at first i typed ‘a woman who hates their’ and then was like ‘…hm i sure do seem to have failed that pronoun check lmao’ but also couldn’t bear to fix it so decided maybe rewording was the way to go]

which like, is partially about how i went to the grocery store today with Baby Sister while sporting an extremely butch outfit (men’s jean jacket open over men’s sweatshirt, men’s straight-leg jeans, red wings, hair… well, as you saw) and we still got ‘ladies’-ed by someone, why the fuck can i not escape this, does anything about my presentation say ‘this is a person who wants to be called a lady’????

and is partially about how i’ve been feeling pretty intensely and largely exclusively [look, adverbs were 2-for-1 at the store] attracted to men lately, or, well, one man anyway, and of course that isn’t an exclusively ~female~ activity, of course i know and believe that, but… at the same time most of my fellow fangirls are just that, and the nature of the discourse has tended to feel very Women 4 Dudez, and at a certain point it’s just like, god, i’m misgendering myself by osmosis here, because my instinct is always to align align align myself with the people around me…

and is partially probably also that i’m stuck in birthname childrole confinement rn, although of course that’s been true for years, but it’s 24/7 inescapable now

and is partially about how binding really isn’t that comfy but is the only method of body-alteration in my repertoire, so if i’m not always choosing to do that, because i’ve got enough weird lil stabby pains without taking more of them on voluntarily, then what does that say about the ~seriousness of my commitment~ or what the fuck ever

and probably also about other stuff i’m forgetting

and i just—obviously these are all such hothouse shut-in concerns, obviously also even if i were “really” a woman i’d be allowed to dress unfemininely and ask my friends [largely an imaginary set of people lol but i do like to imagine i can count some of you guys as that, at least] to use particular language for me and whatnot so in a sense it almost doesn’t matter what i “really am,” i know

and like, thinking this way hurts me whereas thinking of myself as agender/nb/variably but not negligibly transmasc/gq/etc feels much more freeing/pleasurable/instinctively correct (except of course insofar as it requires so much pushing at people constantly to create any space at all in which to be those things), and probably leaning into gender euphoria is its own justification, really

but i really am having a hard time lately with feeling like, i feel as though i’m (gender)queer, and being those things is really important to me, but i don’t quite see how on paper i can justify that feeling, given the material reality of my body and dominant attraction pattern lately… sure looks like i’m just a mostly-straight-right-now technically-woman who wants to feel special!

which is of course a line of thinking the existing system is very invested in encouraging in me, that like, straight and cis are the default and anything that isn’t definitively not-those probably is those, really

but i sure feel like a great honking hideous faker, you know?

anyway apologies for this extremely long and extremely boring post, i can only say that inhabiting this set of feelings on an ongoing basis is even more tiresome than reading one (1) post about it, so like, i do sympathize, i promise i’m bored of me too

[surgeratesfucko]

personal post feel free to not read or do im not the boss of you

To preface: this rant is literally the most inconsequential first world problems shit out there and this whole post is very very cringe. possibly incomprehensible because i can’t fucking think. read at your own risk. also: any advice is appreciated. 

so im gonna go over to a friend’s house in about half an hour and im feeling really nervous because i asked them to shave my head. my mom’s kinda weird about me doing anything to my appearance. i haven’t gotten a professionally done haircut since, like eighth grade. the whole idea of getting a haircut seems way too personal for me. like in the picture of dorian gray, when basil makes the painting and refuses to show it because “there’s too much of himself in it”. Sorry if this is really incoherent. What im trying to say is that i am afraid that my family will make assumptions about me, try to interpret me, once i shave my head. like there’s something about a haircut that says “i have emotions and a lot of them in fact and they’re disgusting little emotions too”. Seeing as i would literally rather die than talk about my feelings with my parents, you can probably see why this is a problem. 

Basically: on the one hand, I really hate having long hair because it makes me more dysphoric than you an even imagine. On the other hand, wanting things is cringe. 

On top of that, I know for a fact that my parents aren’t going to react well. About a year ago i shaved a slit in my eyebrow, and my mom totally freaked out when she saw it. She said it looked horrible and I think she cried a little. She calmed down pretty quick tho and apologized, but she never once said she liked it. She’s usually a tad controlling of my appearance. The last couple of times I’ve had to get new glasses, she basically picked out the frames for me and only wanted my stamp of approval. The most recent time, however, she was still in her appointment when I picked out my frames. I got these really ugly jeffry dahmer ass transgender glasses (you know they type) and the lady was like um okay thats weird but whatever. She also offered to take me to the mens section which i am eternally greatful for thank you glasses lady i love you with my whole heart, even though I didn’t end up picking mens glasses. anyway, when my mom got out of her appointment she naturally went a bit crazy. she said my glasses looked horrible, how could i even think they looked good on me etc. The lady was also clearly uncomfortable with how my mom was acting. Anyway, I stood my ground and ended up getting the glasses. When the arrived a week or so later, my mom profusely apologized and said they looked great. She was offended when I didn’t believe her. One time, I bought this wonderfully late 2000s flannel hoodie (think jesse pinkman) and she ruthlessly mocked me for being a lumbersexual, which just feels like a homophobic slur. Anyway, my mom feels entitled to spout negative opinions about things I like, and thinks nothing of it. There’s a whole host of other situations like these, but that basically sums up what I think her reaction will be.

As for my dad, last october, I asked my parents if I could shave my head and they wanted me to show them pictures of women with shaved heads so I did. My dad thought it was funny, and then he tried to get me to watch boys don’t cry with him (a movie where a trans man is brutally raped and murdered, told as a lesbian romance by it’s terf ass director, although many trans men like the film because it’s literally the only transmasc representation in cinema) because i was “into that sort of thing”. Movies are the only way my dad really knows how to communicate, and he was genuinely trying to be supportive, but he’s just kinda ignorant. (like when i bought docs, he tried to make me watch romper stomper with him, a movie about austrailian nazi punks).

anyway, i know for a fact that they are not going to be happy about me shaving my head, or at least that their reactions will be really hurtful to me personally. I don’t really know how I should react, but i figure it’s better to be prepared for rejection than to let it blindside me. I know shit like this is literally the most whiny bitchy white girl ass problem, so that’s why its under a read more. wahhh my mommy doesn’t like my haircut, meanwhile other queer kids are getting kicked out onto the streets. I get it. Anyway, I’ll update later with their reactions. 

[demontouched]

i'm going through the same thing here. my friends and i often feel like a secret band of misfits in our hometown because everyone around here is either bible thumping or crackheads and neither group is very accepting of queer anyone. being queer around here is like asking the old ladies to whisper about you in church. my friend is transmasc and he can't come out because of his family and home situation. one of my friends is bi, and while her home life is great, there's no one for her to explore her sexuality with (besides us, but there's a reason we don't date within our friend group). and i'm an asexual, genderfluid mess. my grandpa couldn't give less of a shit about what i identify as or who i do or do not want to kiss, so long as i can do dishes and mow the yard, but my grandma says 'gay' like a priest says 'devil'. i do know i won't die by the hands of these people, seeing as my pcp is an older lesbian with a wife and a kid. i thank my lucky stars for that every day, that i am at least physically safe here. but i know a lot of people aren't (people who live in more rural areas than me in or below the bible belt are more likely to be physically abused or even outright killed). trans rep in media, even kids media, is good. kids see straight couples and cis people all the time, they are exposed to coming of age movies about cis teenagers, christmas romances with hetero couples, etc. so maybe, if there was a christmas romance about two men finding each other, or a coming of age movie about a transfem, some kid who is confused and anxious would feel reassured. maybe, if a toddler sees one of these movies or tv shows with representation, they'd tug on their mom's pant leg and ask 'why are you saying that, mommy? what's wrong with him? he's just trying to be himself. you always tell me to be myself!' and maybe that will be one less transphobe.

"trans representation is just gonna make kids wanna be trans" wrong. i knew there was something amiss about me before I even knew the word transgender existed. Growing up ten years ago and in the south meant I grew up without rep, without talk, and that does nothing but make kids grow up alone

[direquail]

An NB reading of Grace in Terminator: Dark Fate

Disclaimer:

Before I start, just want to get this out here: I’m in no way insisting that Grace *has* to be non-binary, that we’re *supposed* to read her as non-binary, or that that’s in any way what she’s “meant to be”. This is just some stuff I’ve noticed that, as someone who sits on the genderqueer/non-binary/transmasc side of things, really resonated with me. Again--read her as entirely woman-identified if that’s what you want to do or feels right to you. I am ecstatic that lesbians and wlw-identified folks have someone that they feel represented in, too. I wish I’d had more characters like her when I was growing up and felt so out of place because of my gender non-conformity. 


But I, for one, would love a non-binary or even trans reading of Grace.

So what I’d like to do instead is just lay out a couple ways someone who is NB-identified *might* connect with Grace as a nonbinary character. Starting with the obvious.

Androgyny Now, I do want to be clear that I know that gender presentation =\= gender identity. And again, obviously, people will latch onto things that they relate to in characters, and I really do believe that there’s no “one right way” to read a character. The character of Grace isn’t a real person; she’s part of a story, told by people, who had something specific to say, and her character reflects that. But from the perspective of the people who watch her, who internalize and connect with her character, there can be points of connection that have nothing to do with the author’s/creator’s intent, and so, Grace-the-character can be many things to many people. The only real way to know how a person IDs is to ask them. That’s it, that’s all. You can’t assume. But also, sometimes, people do “ping” a certain way. They give off a sort of “energy”, and for me, Grace’s energy isn’t the sort of “diaphanous femininity” that even visibly-gender-nonconforming AFAB characters are often framed to exude. Grace’s energy isn’t masculine, either. Her mannerisms don’t seem intended to read that way; rather, they seem intended to read as soldier. I’m not very skilled at breaking down movements, especially when it comes to how actors move and what it all means. It’s totally possible that a lot of what’s unique about how Grace moves is because Mackenzie Davis is, self-admittedly, not the most athletically-inclined person. Grace is long-limbed and rangy and sometimes very stiff/poised, but never stiff through the hips like a Straight Dude(TM), or heavy through the shoulders like a musclebound meathead. She takes up space, too; she’s taller than Dani and Sarah both, and the only recurring characters who are “bigger” than her throughout most of the film are Carl and the Rev-9.

To be clear: Women can be tall, and rangy, and androgynous, and take up space, and that doesn’t make them less women--unless they don’t identify that way. My point with all of the above is just observing that Grace doesn’t move like a “male action hero”—but she also doesn��t seem over-the-top feminine in the way that mainstream-y media will “compensate” for perceived unfemininity, and that’s kind of wonderful. Her stature, her physique, all of that, seem to be chosen and calibrated towards an end goal that isn’t gendered: Combat, efficacy as a warrior. Whether you want to read her as a woman or as nonbinary is largely going to be about your personal preference. This also has the effect of giving the impression that Grace is absolutely unselfconscious about her body and how it looks—and she has no reason to be, not because she looks good or bad, but because what she can do with her body is just so vastly more important, and because she’s so willing to put her body and everything it can do on the line in order to fulfill her mission (and protect Dani). If Grace has a gender, it’d be “Protector” or “Warrior”. And in a way, what makes Grace so appealing to female-identified lesbians is the same thing that makes her appealing to NB people—Her character was explicitly designed not to cater to “the male gaze”, and therefore, she also exists outside the typical gendered confines reserved for “female characters” in media. The emphasis is just slightly different: Instead of a different way of being female, NB!Grace has little to no use for those categories at all. Again, it’s all in how you want to read her. Grace comes from a future where survival and fighting take first priority, and you could project the same tired “Gender isn’t a ~problem~ in the future/after the world ends” approach that a lot of cis and hetero men take to sci-fi--but also, why? It’s tired. Give me a Grace who is preoccupied with survival, yes, who maybe doesn’t have time to think too much about this gender shit--but also, a Grace who finds that this “androgyny” (although she might not call it that) suits her, who takes to this way of moving and being in the world, this way of using her body, and identifies more with that than with being a “man” or a “woman”. 


(Sidenote: as someone who took a fair amount of Queer Studies classes, it does irk me a bit that discussions of mainstream-y speculative media seem permanently suspended between this sort of “genderblind” futurism where “identities” just don’t exist because they’re apparently not needed anymore, or copy-pasting our contemporary discourses about identity into a future that is materially very different than ours. The point of these identities is, in part, to describe our experiences, the good as well as the bad, and those experiences of gender and sexuality don’t exist in a vacuum. So, the words we use will necessarily change to accommodate that—especially in the post-apocalypse. BUT, everything that comes after us will also bear the stamp of what came before it; it’s just a matter of what the creator means to emphasize.) Augments & Body Mods This is a little dicey, because there’s some clear tension in the movie between the idea of robots = inhuman/unfeeling = bad, and humans = good/feeling. And in that light, it’s potentially problematic to (even incidentally) imply that nonbinary/gender-nonconforming = not human.

But I’d like to point out that the film does deliberately challenge any neat separation of “human” and “machine” with Carl’s evolution as a person. 
And based on what I’ve read from James Cameron and Tim Miller interviews, there is some “blurring” intended between human and machine in the franchise.

In fact, Carl and Grace are foils for each other, somewhat, in the sense that they’re on opposite ends of a spectrum where human and machine become blurred, and I love that. As a genderqueer person with a very fluid experience, it appeals to me on a deep level because you could spend literally forever breaking down where does one “gender” end and another begin--emotionally, socially, spiritually, and physically.  


So the fact that there’s (1) no hard binary between human and machine (it’s explicitly subverted), and (2) we’re given multiple points of inflection, especially if you count Sarah and the Rev-9--alleviates a lot of the tension I’d feel otherwise in mentioning this. But I don’t think this is something that should be allegorical or a direct comparison; I think that it operates best on a metaphorical or theoretical level. 


And just, it’s the whole vaguely-cyberpunk idea of modifying your own body, not in a mass-produced or manufactured sense, but in this organic and highly individual sense, born out of contingency and necessity, that makes Grace’s Augments so meaningful. It’s one of the things that makes her read as human, too, because it feels more in line with our tendency to stick ink, steel, bone, what have you, through our skins whenever we get the chance--as opposed to some kind of symbolic dehumanization by “becoming a machine”.

Grace routinely refuses to categorize herself in anything other than the most general terms, or explain the details of her Augments, and she seems very protective of them. Rather than seeming ashamed, this refusal reads a lot like the popular queer identity explanation “not gay as in happy, but queer as in “fuck you’”. Her Augments are part of her, and part of her humanity; she volunteered for them, she owns them, and is even protective of them, viewing CBP’s invasive examination of her Augments as a kind of violation of her bodily autonomy. They’re clearly complicated for her, but they’re anything but depersonalized.

And going even further, the reason why she volunteered for them is so that she can defend humanity--and also someone she loves (Dani). They’re an extension of her sense of family, loyalty, love, and willingness to sacrifice.

And I don’t know for sure, but I imagine that Grace is basically one-of-a-kind, even among other Augments, if only because those Augmentations seem to be performed with the tech that’s on hand--salvaged Legion tech, by the sound of it, at least to start with. So the outcome depends on the parts available, the complexity and maturity of the Augmentation technology and process, and the skill & experience of the surgeons, all of which would vary over time. 


And honestly? If that doesn’t qualify as “beyond the binary”, I don’t know what does.

Some other general observations:

- Grace’s short hair is a constant throughout the post-Judgement Day scenes. As someone who started wearing their hair short as a preteen and hasn’t had hair to my shoulders since age 12, that does seem significant.

- Grace only introduces herself by name after Diego shouts “HEY LADY” in the factory before dropping an engine block on the Rev-9. Granted, most women don’t like to be addressed as “HEY LADY”, either, but it stood out to me, especially because she refused to give her name only a couple of minutes before that. Either way you read it, the line feels like it expresses some level of discomfort with or objection to that gendered statement. Maybe she finds that particular reference annoying or even offensive, but also, maybe she doesn’t really identify as a woman. She’s just... Grace.

- there were multiple times I mistook the back of her tank top for the back of a binder, even though she clearly was not binding.

- she constantly steals mens’ clothes--partly because she’s too tall for a lot of womens’ clothes around her, partly out of utility (like at the factory and CBP, where a lot of the guards are men). But also, it pleases the genderfucking queer in me quite a bit. And, I should note, when she had the option to take a female guard’s clothes at the CBP facility... she didn’t.

But ultimately, when I look at Grace, I see someone whose gender is “Warrior” or “Soldier”. And it’s so wonderful to see that so purely represented on a character we’re meant to perceive as female. So, please believe me when I say I don’t want to “take away” what Grace means for other people. 
And, for the record, I do mostly default to using she/her pronouns for Grace, because that’s how she’s canonically referred to. But just for fun--try this on for size: Using “they/them” pronouns for Grace. They (Grace) came back in time to protect Dani. It rolls off the tongue, right? It feels nice. Let’s re-try a couple of sentences from above: 


- “multiple times I mistook the back of their tank top for the back of a binder, even though they clearly weren’t binding” 


- “Grace’s Augments are about their ability to be a soldier. They were Augmented in order to hunt Terminators... Everything else is secondary to that, and their mission to protect Dani”

- “Grace only introduces themself by name after Diego shouts “HEY LADY” in the factory before dropping an engine block on the Rev-9 ... Maybe they find that particular reference annoying or even offensive, but also, maybe they don’t really identify as a woman. They’re just... Grace.”

And finally: 


Can you imagine the poor sod who tried to make fun of Grace for having a “girly” name? lmao rip

[fatalism-and-villainy]

gloriousmonsters replied to your post “Am I morally required to “show up” for Colette even though I can’t...”

i mean i'm put off it because despite hiring some trans people to play bit parts the main role of a person who was probably transmasc/nb is played by a cis person again. and honestly i hate the whole idea of 'you HAVE to support this!!' even if i can acknowledge it has some points

atm I’m not as concerned about that element considering that a) afaict Missy was one of those “we don’t really know for sure whether they had/wanted The Surgery/how they [would have] identified” cases, and b) I feel like the idea that a gender-ambiguous character must be played by a trans person has a touch of essentialism to it. Particularly the implication that a trans and/or nonbinary actor would have to be publicly out to play such a role, which isn’t always safe or possible within the industry. That isn’t to say that the fucked up social ideas reflected in certain casting decisions (like the pattern of “cis men playing trans women”) shouldn’t be interrogated, but it’s a sticky area imo. 

I might potentially be concerned about how these gender issues might be addressed in the film though (esp if the only trans people involved are playing small roles, rather than having significant influence on the story). It’s certainly possible that the issue might be swept under the table entirely, or handled badly. I’m similarly worried that they might ignore/erase Colette’s bisexuality and affairs with men for the sake of having a less complicated lesbian love story. 

But frankly I’m less focused on those individual elements because my main objection to it is that I’m just Tired of seeing Keira Knightley’s face in literally every period drama. She was good for the role of Elizabeth Swann, but since then she’s played literally the exact same character in nearly everything she’s in and dilutes the individuality of each character with her Feisty Heroine persona. And the last biopic of hers I saw in which she played a [potentially] queer lady with a domineering husband (The Duchess) was very unimpressive, at least partly due to her performance, so I don’t have high hopes for her acting out that dynamic in this case. 

[blueberryboywife]

hellooo

so this is my nsfw blog! you can call me blueberry, or just berry for short. i'll be reblogging posts that appeal to me and occasionally writing my own.

i'm transmasc and use they/he pronouns, please use those interchangeably. i'm 21, i'm a switch/vers technically speaking (aka like 75% submissive), i'm bisexual with a preference for men, and i'm single (not necessarily looking for a new relationship though).

kinks i'm into

breast / ass / cock expansion

lactation

hucow

breeding/pregnancy kink

housewife kink

oviposition

tentacles

monsterfucking in general

a/b/o / omegaverse

collars (+ ownership in general)

medical kink

consensual non-consent

non / dubcon

kinks i'm not into

scat / piss / vomit

misgendering

(extreme) weight gain

diapers

permanent iq drain

incest

pedophilia

bestiality

boundaries

i said this already but this account is 18+. if you're a minor i'll dropkick you

please do not call me girl(ie)/lady/mistress/princess/queen/etc., even if you use them gender neutrally. the only terms along those lines that i like/am okay with are wife/mother. i'm cool with pretty much any masculine/gender neutral terms though

i block people as much as i want to. if you're: - a minor - a terf/radfem or use radfem rhetoric - an exclusionist, transmed/truscum, or any sort of queer gatekeeper - misgendering me/other people intentionally - a bigot - weird about people using identities you don't understand/think are contradictory - a (chubby) chaser - sending me pictures of yourself without asking first - a jerk if i don't answer your ask/reply to your message, or don't answer/reply "soon enough" - a jerk if i don't want to talk to/roleplay with you i can and will block your ass. this list isn't exclusive either

as mentioned earlier, i am more than open to people sending me asks or messages or wanting to roleplay with me. that being said, please be reasonable and don't take it too personally if i don't want to or want to stop. also, if i don't know you very well, it's unlikely i'll want to message or roleplay with you

i will try my best to tag things, both for organizational/archival purposes and in case you would want to filter anything out. if you'd like me to tag something or if i forgot to tag a post with something, feel free to let me know