#I am totally not projecting myself not sleeping while doing artwork for N

[lumaere]

ꕤ She stayed up all night for the gift ꕤ

[mingisanshine]

KHJ: Chasing Rainbows Preview

Paring: Painter!Hongjoong x Reader

Warnings: Eventual smut! Lots of crying, angst, a lot of confliction with feelings, these two have a lot of sober and not sober deep talks, alcohol is consumed by people of age. Overall wholesome. ♥︎

(Also Hongjoong is not color blind. I just want to make that clear. It’s okay to be color blind and if you are maybe you can relate. I didn’t want to accidentally offend anyone and that’s why I’m putting this here. It’s supposed to me a mental block.)

Summary: Kim Hongjoong. The artist you inspire to be. The artist that inspired you to be something more than what you were. Everything about his work fascinates you, but when you meet him you see that’s he’s much different then what you expect him to be like. What happens when he tell you that can no longer see color? How do you keep from failing him with the burden he’s laid upon you?

»»————-　♡　————-««

You stare in awe at the canvas in front of you.

Everything about it seemed to be captivating.

The way the brushstrokes laid nicely on the canvas.

Or how the colors perfectly blended together, as if in harmony.

Then there were the tiny details. The shading, the way each grass strand was different to complete a puzzle.

It was perfect, but everything Kim Hongjoong made was always perfect.

“You’ve been staring at the same picture for the past twenty minutes.” You jump at the sound of Seonghwa’s voice. Rolling your eyes as he interrupted your thoughts whilst scaring you in the process. “Seriously I don’t think you’ve breathed since you saw it.” You sigh, turning to your towards your brother.

“You wouldn’t get it Hwa.” You grab his hand and tug him a little closer to the artwork. “Every single brushstroke laid on this canvas tells a different piece of a much bigger story.” You let go of his hand and smile gently before turning back to face him. “ The only art you consider art is your dumb acting.” Seonghwa dramatically opened his mouth in feigned shock.

“My acting is anything, but dumb. This is just colors on paper.” You gasp in pure disgust at how crude your brother could be to such fine work. Playfully hitting Seonghwa in his chest you roll your eyes. “What? Only art nerds look at a picture and search for a deeper meaning.”

“Well since I’m an Art History Major it’s my job to analyze art from everywhere. So I guess I am a certified art nerd.” Seonghwa scoffs playfully, as he grabbed a flute of champagne from behind him.

“What even is your deal with this guy?”

“I’ve been his biggest fan of his since forever. Back when I had tumblr I use to literally reblog all of his post.” You blush slightly vividly remembering all those times your day was made when you saw that he had posted something new.

“Wait is his name...Kim Hongjoong?” You perk up immediately upon hearing his name.

“Yes! How’d you know?!” You almost squeal.

“One I’m not blind. I can see his name on the plaque next to the photo.” Seonghwa looks down at you, with a mischievous smile on his face and you curse your brother for being blessed with the gift of height. “He also is here.” Seonghwa said casually downing the rest of his flute.

“You’re kidding?!” People look around you in annoyance at your volume, but you’re too excited to care.

“I actually got the invite from him. Well technically the company he’s under, but he is hosting this event.” You smile, but it immediately fades when you look down at your outfit. Your black turtleneck, tucked into black pants and simple boots, were nothing compared to people dressed in Gucci and Dior.

“I bet you’re glad I let you borrow my Chanel belt huh?”

“He’s going to think I’m a waiter.” Seonghwa chuckles at your statement trying to suppress as much laughter as he could. “I’m going to make myself look like a fool in front of one of my biggest inspirers ever.”

“And who might that be?” A new voice asked. You almost laugh, totally not acknowledging the presence of a new person.

“Seonghwa were you not paying attention? This man has been my idol since I was seventeen. He’s like one of my biggest cr-” An obnoxious laugh cuts you off and you turn to meet your brother only to see a new face.

Well not new, but definitely not someone you ever met.

“I’m glad I’ve such a big inspiration to you.” Your mouth flies open for a solid second before snapping back and spitting out gibberish.

“Holy sh- You’re Kim Hongjoong!” He laughs at your, very obnoxious, scream. He scratched the back of his neck slightly before shrugging.

“Yeah. That’s me.”

“Oh my god! I’m such a big fan! I’ve- wait. How much of that conversation did you hear?”

“I’ve been eavesdropping since Seonghwa here said my work was just paint on a canvas. Started listening when you said you were an Art History Major.”

You wanted to crawl up in a ball and die at that very moment.

“Y/N is an art nerd.” Seonghwa laughed, setting the flute glass down.

“Then I guess I am too. I went to school for Art History as well. I actually really enjoyed it.” You laughed partially at Seonghwa being lowkey roasted and partially out of embarrassment.

“Great two art nerds. You guys can talk about how blue and yellow make green while I go get some more champagne.” Seonghwa walked away, leaving you alone with the most terrifying person ever.

“I really am a big fan of your work.” You mumble, turning back to the painting, trying to avoid eye contact at all costs.

“Why?” He asked more to himself then to to you.

You’re silent for a moment. Shocked at such an obvious question.

“Why?” You repeat sarcastically. “Because the story you tell with your work speaks to me. The tiny details you put into your paintings instill me with hope. Your work shows me something I could never see before. Every single stroke of your brush creates something wonderful. Your art is simply...amazing.” You could feel the emotion and passion building within you.

Then he laughed. He shattered the beautiful illusion you had just created.

“You really see that when you look at paintings?” He asked almost in a beggingly.

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t believe it.” You turned back to him finally building the courage to look at him. Almost astonished to see his face twisted in disappointment.

“That’s one of the kindest things anyone has ever said about my paintings.” He turned looking at you, eyes slightly watered.

“Oh my god, please don’t cry. If you start crying I’ll start crying.” Hongjoong shook his head, laughing.

“How much does art mean to you?” He asked eyes closed. You quirk your eyebrow up in slight confusion.

“It’s everything to me. I couldn’t imagine my life without it.” Hongjoong opened his eyes and grabbed your hands. If you weren’t blushing before, then you most definitely were now.

“Do you think you can come to my studio?” You stare between him and his hands. Not sure whether to be scared or to be flattered.

“Why?”

“I think you can help me with my next project. I have a certain block.” You remove your hands and step back a little. Suspecting where this was leading.

“Look you seem like a nice guy, but I’m not that kind of gi-” Hongjoong cut you off before you could finish your statement.

“You didn’t think I was asking you to sleep with me where you?” You blush and look down at your boots, only for Hongjoong to grab your hand again. “I’m not that kind of guy. I would never ask you to do something like that. I just wanted some fresh eyes, from someone who can see things from a different perspective and has knowledge on art. Please don’t feel pressured to say yes.” You hesitate for a moment. Looking back at his eyes only to be met with pure sincerity. Almost making you combust right there.

“Are you sure?” He nodded looking down at you. “I mean why would why I pass up this offer?” He smiled and pulled you through a crowd of people causing you to yelp in shock. You make eye contact with Seonghwa and see him jaw dropped, mouthing an apology.

“Thank you so much.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Holy shit.” You breathed out as Hongjoong opened the door to his studio. It looked almost unreal. Mason jar lights hung from the ceiling, big wide windows brought in the gentle rays of the sun, casting a small shadow. The back wall was filled with sketches and paintings. Blank and covered canvases filled almost every corner of the room. Other crafts hung from the walls and a couple plants littered the studio. Faded and some new paint splotches cover the easel sitting in the middle of the room. You felt as if you were walking onto a scene for a movie. “Hongjoong this is beautiful.” He shut the door and laughed lightly. “I don’t know how someone can have a block when being in such a lovely setting.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s hard for me to grasp on to as well.” He took his jacket off and hung it on the rack before walking over to the covered easel. “Y/N I want your complete and honest answer. Don’t hold any punches. You have to promise me you won’t.”

“I promise.” He lifted the cover of the easel and you gasp.

“Is it that bad?” He bit his bottom lip, nervously.

“Hongjoong. It’s beautiful.” You hand runs over the canvas gently.

“What do you see?” He asked eyes closed. “Give me every detail.”

“I see a child. Running after a sun set. The tinted glow of the sun setting a shadow on her and the tiny farm house in the back. She’s running like she can reach the horizon before it’s gone. Like she’s running for hope.” He lets out a shaky breath, before breathing in again.

“What colors do you see?”

“Pink, yellow, burnt orange, red, crimson and gold. Typical colors you see during a sunset. Why’d you ask such a silly question?” He dropped the canvas cover and turned towards you with the most pitiful look in his eye.

“I can’t see it.” You freeze and question what he means.

“What do you mean you can’t see it?” He walked away from the canvas and sat down on the couch in the corner, resting his head in the palms of his hands.

“I haven’t been able to see color for almost three years.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛 𝑭𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔

𝑴𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

A/N: This isn’t edited yet. So they’re most definitely going to be mistakes, but I just wanted to put this out there. I wrote majority of this in a day and I’m actually loving it so far. Tell me what you think!!

Love you!!♥︎♡♥︎♡

[jamielea81]

Just a Simple Lie

Chapter 3

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Description: Having worked on small independent films for the better part of a decade, your friend tells you about an opening for a script supervisor with a large studio. Wanting to advance your career, you apply and get an interview. The only downside, they prefer to hire crew who are married. It’s just a simple lie, right?

Warnings: Cursing and Drinking

Word Count: About 3,000

A/N: This story is simply for fun. I know nothing about the personal lives of the two actors in this series and mean no harm. I am also totally guessing regarding the studio talk. Comments, reblogs, and likes are always welcome. Tag list is open, please send me an ask.

Internal thoughts are in italics.

Read chapter 2 here

Another week on set had passed as quickly as the last. There weren’t any late night meetings with either leading man, which was fine by you. Sure, you had worked with both actors throughout the week, but mostly on set, or a quick drop by in your office.

Since set life was pretty busy, your social life was suffering quite a bit. You hadn’t seen Joanna since the weekend before you started with the studio and she was pretty pissed.

“I work for fucking Sony, Y/N, and I make time for your ass,” she said flatly in the phone.

“Well, you like my ass. I mean, it’s pretty nice if I do say so myself.”

“You’re lucky you’re funny,” she added.

“Mhm.”

“Anyway…I’m picking you up in an hour.”

“Jooo,” you whined. “Sleeping in my bed sounds better. I just want to be lazy and watch a movie.”

“Too bad. I haven’t seen my best friend in weeks and we need to catch up. Besides, I have news for you.”

“Alright, you’ve piqued my interest. See you soon loser.”

Crawling out of bed and shimming out of your sweats, you dragged yourself into the bathroom to take a shower. Joanna’s idea of getting together usually involved alcohol, so you at least needed to look presentable.

Slipping on a cotton white dress with navy stripes and a pair of short brown boots, you called it good. The dress was comfortable and cute without much effort. You kept your makeup light, not only because you were feeling lazy, even after a long shower, but also because you were short on time. Running a quick hand through your hair a couple of times, your phone was buzzing with text messages.

Jo: I’m here!!!!

You let out a chuckle at her enthusiasm and tossed your phone in your bag.

 Joanna parked her SUV on the side of a street that was lined with boutique shops. It definitely wasn’t your normal area to drink or even shop, but who were you to argue? With work being as busy as it was and not to mention being the new girl, you had been pretty distant as of late.

“I just want to pop into this shop really quick, then we’ll grab some tea afterwards,” Joanna said.

Tea?

The two of you enter a cozy shop that you didn’t catch the name of as it was etched in the glass with curly letters. Your tired mind couldn’t decipher quite what it said. Inside is cozy whites, pinks, blues, and yellows. Your mind finally catches up when you see a row of baby strollers.

We’re in a baby store?

Joanna floats around the shop, squeezing stuffed animals, burp clothes, and blankets. Pretty much everything with texture. You follow behind her like a puppy, wondering why she needs to pick up something here. She eventually stops her searching at a table full of onesies. She picks up two, one in each hand. They are both white in color, but one has a giraffe on it while the other has a bunny.

“Okay. What gives?” you ask.

Still holding the onesies in both hands, she looks at you with wide eyes. “What?” she asks playfully.

Her eyes give her away and you can tell she’s messing with you. Raising your eyes brows in return, you cross your arms and pop a hip out.

“I probably shouldn’t say anything because it’s really early, but you’re my best friend and I need to tell someone.” She pauses for a moment and again your tired mind is just not following. “I’m pregnant!” she squeals. She drops the onesies on the table and shakes her hands in the air.

You stare at her contemplating what she just said. Pregnant. The word sounds funny in your mouth.

“Oh my god. You’re pregnant? You’re pregnant!”

She chuckles at your enthusiasm as you start to jump up and down. You pull her into a hug and then pull back slightly, not wanting to hurt her.

“You can’t break me,” she said.

“Shush,” you say, and pull her back in your arms. “Guess I’ll need to find new friends to drink with.”

Joanna smacks you on the butt. “Someone needs to drink with Ian.”

 Filming was on schedule which was surprising. Generally, a film of this size would be behind, especially early in the shooting schedule. Granted, this was the largest project you had been a part of. Credit was due to the awesome director. He was amazing at communication with everyone including you. He often asked for your notes between scenes and sought out both Monica’s and your opinions. Both Chris and Keanu were amazing, often getting the scene with one to two takes. There were only seven more shooting days before a week and a half break, then off to the cold of Vancouver.

 Your cellphone buzzed with a text, but that was nothing new between Monica, David, and the writing staff calling or texting all the time. Pushing away your laptop, you picked up the phone from your desk and leaned back in your chair.

Unknown number: Chocolate chip or peanut butter

“What?” you mumbled to yourself.

Y/N: Who is this?

Before you can even set your phone down, it buzzes again.

Unknow number: Just answer the question

“Who the fuck is this?” Apparently talking to yourself was your new thing.

Y/N: I need context here mysterious one.

Y/N: Ice cream, cookies, protein bars?

Unknown number: Cookies, obviously. This is serious.

You sighed and decided to play along with the dealer of sweet treats.

Y/N: Chocolate chip of course. But if frosted sugar cookies come into play, that wins.

Your phone rang not a second later with the unknown number.

“Hello?” you said.

“Sugar cookies?! Y/N, come on. No. Just no.”

“Who is this?”

“Chris,” he said.

“Chris...?”

“Seriously?” he questions. “Evans.”

“Oh fuck. Sorry. I’m sorry Chris.”

“You should be. Sugar cookies,” he scoffed. “Come on!”

You let out a giggle. “I like what I like.”

“So, chocolate chip?” he questions.

“Yeah. What are you up to anyway?”

I’m stealing a box from Craft Services,” he says it like it’s something he always does. Like it’s just normal to call you up and ask what you like.

“Okay,” you sigh. “Next question.”

“Shoot.”

“How’d you get my number?”

“I asked Monica. Figured you wouldn’t mind.”

This was something you had to get used to apparently. Chris Evans has your number and you now have his too. Not that you would call him.

You hummed in response.

“See you soon,” he said before disconnecting the call.

Chris is coming to your office. No big deal, he’s been here before, on your first day and one other time. This is fine. You can be normal.

You straightened up your small office. There wasn’t much to clean. Mr. Fern was thriving, although you’d have to find a babysitter for him when you were in Canada. You had no pictures or artwork on your walls, but you did have a framed photo of your friend group sitting on your desk, along with a jar of pens in various colors and styles. There were three sizes of notepads, one in a beautiful rose tone with thick aged looking paper. The other two were lined like the type you would use in school. You were a minimalist at work, what could you say?

Twenty minutes later there’s a knock at your door.

“It’s open,” you shout, just loud enough for the person to hear.

You knew Chris would be coming by, so you had time to mentally prepare, but he still makes you a little nervous. The man is attractive and he’s so personable. You’re nervous with Keanu too, but he’s so much more serious. When the two of you do chat, which isn’t a lot, it’s about national issues, who’s your favorite poet, have you tried this or that brand of green label coffee? Okay, that last one is pretty low key, but still.

 “I bring peace and good tidings, but most importantly cookies.” Huge grin on his face.

In his hand, wrapped in a napkin, are three chocolate chip cookies. His hand is outstretched for you to take the cookies, but you don’t. Eyes looking from his hand to his face and back again.

“This isn’t a box of cookies. I expected a box of cookies.” You shake your head for added effect. “And not even a frosted sugar cookie insight.”

“Sugar cookie,” he says with such disgust. “Y/N. I brought you chocolate. You should be thanking me!”

The smart ass in you, despite the newness with him, can’t help but come out.

“You can leave them there,” you say pointing to a free space on your desk. Eyes fixed on your laptop, not bothering him a glance.

He huffs out a laugh and plops himself down on the extra stationary chair next to your desk. He sets the cookies down, but picks one back up and takes a large bite out of it.

You swivel in your chair to face him and roll your eyes. “Aren’t those mine?”

“You complained.” He shrugs his shoulders taking a second bite.

Rolling your eyes, you turn back to your laptop.

“This is new,” he said.

Sparing him a glance, he’s picked up your framed five by seven group shot. It’s from last New Year’s Eve. Jemma had just moved into a new apartment, free of her roommate from hell as she liked to call her. You all brought booze and she invited a few guys she knew and some ladies from her work. It was a good time and you ended up crashing in her bathroom. It wasn’t the best night’s sleep you’ve had.

“Yeah, those are my best friends.” A smile appears on your face.

He smiles and nods his head, eyes scanning over the faces. “Who’s who?” He angles the photo so that you both can see.

“Well, this here, with her lips attached to my cheek, is my very best friend Joanna.” You let out a giggle and he grins. “Next to her is her husband Ian. The gorgeous blonde is Jemma. And that’s Travis.” You rush through the last one, remembering you told Chris your fiancé’s name was Travis. Maybe he forgot. Hopefully.

“Travis? As in your fiancé Travis?”

“Mhm.” Tight smile on your face.

Moving the picture closer to his face, he hums. “Good looking guy.”

“Yeah, he is,” you reply.

“Looks kind of young though.”

Really? He is, but why bring that up?

“Are you calling me old?” you scoff, fake agitation in your voice.

“What?! Of course not. You make a lovely couple. Really,” he pleads. A sincere smile on his face.

You quirk your mouth to the side and sputter out a laugh. “I’m just fucking with you.”

Quickly covering your mouth with your hand. Can you say fuck to him? It’s so unprofessional.

“Me and my mouth. Sorry,” you say, cringing slightly.

He erupts in a deep belly laugh, head thrown back, eyes closed.

“Oh, my fucking god. You can say fuck all you want around me,” he says through bouts of laughter.

You let out a breath and relax.

“That was hilarious,” he sighs, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Yeah. Real funny,” you reply. “But yes, Travis is a little bit younger than me.”

He holds up his hands defensively. “I promise I’m not calling you a cougar; he just seems young.”

Truthfully, Travis did seem younger than he was. He was the serious film student, but on weekends, he was the eternal frat boy. Even now, seven years later he’s pushing thirty, but you wouldn’t know it.

The next few days brought other unrequested sweet treats to your office. Chris no longer asked what you would like, instead he’d show up with something he thought you’d like, or rather what he liked. One day it was a cheese danish, then caramel corn, and finally a monster bar, which turned out to be a Rice Krispies Treat with extra marshmallows and M&Ms. You started to skip lunch knowing you’d be eating something very unhealthy. The two of you would keep the conversation light, generally about music or movies. You wondered if he was this friendly with other members of the crew.  

 Washing your hair six times had done nothing. Jemma had promised the new color product she picked up was just temporary, but clearly that had not been true. You had been Jemma’s guinea pig since the day you met her on set of one of the first movies you had worked on. She was a hair stylist and anytime she received a new product, she was trying it out on you. This time it was a semi-permanent purple hair dye. She had assured you it was more semi than permanent, but after washing it too many times, it had only slightly faded. Your only saving grace is the dye was only on the underside of your hair rather than your whole head as Jemma had wanted to do.

Walking into work was a little nerve wracking for you. In the industry, there is a plethora of personalities and styles, so purple hair isn’t out of the ordinary, but it was quite the change for you. You wore your hair the same way every day. You dressed modestly and comfortably. Sneakers were the norm. You saved skinny jeans and cute dresses for your days off. Stepping out in purple hair was saying something.

A few wolf whistles from David and a couple of guys who worked in set design, you made it to your office relatively unscathed.

Today’s scene would have you working side by side with Monica. Most days you were both on set, but usually not for long. The two of you had met in her office most of the day yesterday going over today’s big love scene between Chris’ character William and Maggie’s character Sophia. Chris was a professional and the few scenes that you had watched Maggie in were great. The two of you had no doubt they finish strong, no pun intended. Except you were wrong.

“Cut!” Hugh, the director called.

It was the fourth take and everyone was starting to realize it just wasn’t working. There were no problems with the lines and the actors were both following the stage directions, but something just wasn’t right. The chemistry was just off.

“Y/N.” Hugh called, motioning you over to him. “You know this script better than anyone. What’s missing?”

You let out a long sigh. “It’s the two of them together. Don’t get me wrong, they work well together, but I’m not getting romantic tones from the two of them right now.”

Chris was watching you. His brow furrowed; arms crossed. Maggie was getting her hair touched up. Passionate hair took a lot of work.

“Will you go talk to him please?” he asked.

You nodded, clutching your script, you walked to him. Maggie was now occupied with makeup and Monica was currently speaking to her.

Chris uncrossed his arms and quirked one side of his mouth up. “It’s not working is it?”

“M’fraid not,” you replied.

He nudged his head to the left and took a few steps away from the rest of the crew. “What do you suggest?”

“Well, frankly, you just don’t look like you love her. You barely look like you like her.”

He shrugged his shoulders and gestured with his hand for you to continue.

You licked your lips and moved in closer to him. Lifting up your script, you tapped on a section of the scene. “When it says William looks into Sophia’s eyes passionately, you need to look at her like she’s the one you’ve been waiting for your whole life. Like if you didn’t have her right now, in this moment, you wouldn’t be able to breathe. And when it says he grabs her, don’t grab her by her shoulders.” You looked up from the page to see Chris watching you. “What?” you questioned.

He shook his head and smiled. “Don’t grab her by her shoulders?”

You could feel heat in your cheeks. You looked back down at the script because you had to look away. Him and those fucking eyes. Are these lashes even real?

“Yeah, that comes off more as angry passion, but that’s not what their love story is about. How about you try it with one hand cupping her cheek and one hand on the back of her head? But like, um. But maybe cup her cheek first and brush your thumb against it as well. And with your other hand, slowly slide it to her neck before the kiss.”

He nods his head again, his eyes downcast, thinking it over. “Like this?” he asks.

Suddenly, his hand is on your cheek and he’s staring in your eyes, thumb lightly brushing below your eye. His other hand softly touches the crook of your neck and he ever so softly brushes it to the back of your neck as he starts to lean in. Goosebumps erupt down your arms and you thank the gods you’re wearing a sweatshirt at this very moment so he can’t see it.

“Is this good?” The deep timbers of his voice making you swoon.

You nod slowly, not wanting him to remove his hands at that moment. “Um,” you lick your lips again. “Uh, ye-yeah. That’s exactly what I mean.”

He removes his hand and gives you a gentle closed lipped smile. “I think I got it.” He starts to turn around but then stops and turns back to you again. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “This is cute by the way.”

You give him a smirk and shake your head. “Go!” Crossing your arm, he salutes you with one hand.

Maybe you wouldn’t kill Jemma after all.

Tag list: @tanelle83 @pinknerdpanda @allaboutthebooz @estillion14 @panicfob @patzammit @heartislubbingdubbing @collinsstanharbour @twittytelly @thefandomzoneisdangerous @linki-locks11 @mywinterwolf @ab-baybay @rda1989 @chrisevansforever-blog @southerngracela @chrisevansfanfic @zsuzstyina @peach-acid @grtchnrs @hista-girl @trynnabemultifandom @symonlyjen5 @mrsshiddleston @tfandtws @xxloki81xx @heyyouwiththeassbutt @denisemarieangelina @evanlys19 @cheeseburgersstuff @linki-locks11

[annyonghaseno]

50 Questions Tag!

Tagged by @supercriminalwolf​  Thanks dollface!! xoxo

1. what takes up too much of your time? Irish dancing are u surprised yet

2. what makes your day better?  waking up early, dancing, hanging out with my sister, warm weather, having time to take care of myself

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? I taught a lesson with one of my dancers and we fixed a part in her dance that’s been bothering her a lot - she was really happy 

4. what fictional place would you like to go? Hogwarts for sure 

5. are you good at giving advice? I like to think so

6. do you have any mental illness? yo. I have the worst social anxiety ever bahaha

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no, thank God 

8. what musician inspired you the most? not to be totally predictable here, but I really am inspired by how hardworking and humble bang chan is - I could go wayyyy into that, but I’ll leave it there

9. have you ever fallen in love? I actually don’t think so - not with a person, anyway (fell in love w dancing a LOOONG time ago)

10. what’s your dream date? as long as we’re doing something new, it’s a dream date

11. what do others notice about you? my dedication I hope. also how quiet I am rip

12. what is the annoying habit you have? popping joints

13. do you still talk to you first love? nooooooooooo

14. how many ex’s do you have? like 5

15. how many songs are on your playlist? since I just got a new phone, only about 140

16. what instruments can you play? I play the bass guitar, but I haven’t practiced as much as I should, lately

17. who do you have the most pictures of? my sister and her artwork <3 

18. where would you like to go before you die? I would like to see Iceland properly. I’ve only done 1 day stopovers 

19. what is your zodiac? taurus 

20. do you relate to it? sometimes

21. what is happiness to you? doing what you love!!!! whatever that may be!

22. are you going through anything right now? nothing particular other than the usual work plus dance stress, but it’s not bad really

23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? putting someone who didn’t care about me that much before my family

24. what’s your favourite store? forever 21. a bitch loves disposable clothing 

25. what’s your opinion on abortion? Them's fightin words. 

26. do you keep a bucket list? I do! I've actually crossed off a few this past month! 

27. do you have a favorite album at the moment? Yall KNOW i'm gonna say I am You. 

28. what do you want for your birthday? Money. Bahaah i'll be to go to spain again sooooo  

29. what are most peoples first impression of you? According to literally everyone i've ever asked, the first impression people have of me is: scary. Yeah. Idk if it's the same online, but i guess i look intimidating or something

30. what age do you seem according to most people according to most people? It's usually from 16 to 19 murder me i'll be carded for the rest of my life   31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? Bahaaha if it doesn't fall under the bed, it ends up somewhere under the pillow 

32. what word do you say the most? Twat. Or asshat.   

33. what’s the oldest age you would date? Maybe like 26? If someone older were trying to date me, i'd be wondering why they can't get someone their own age 

34. what’s the youngest age you would date? Prob like 20

35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? Teaching, i suppose, since it already is my job

36. what’s your favourite music genre? I really like rock music, blues and old country, but i'm open to any genre

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? God, Ireland 10000000000 percent Ireland  

38. what is your current favourite song? I AM YOU DUH, also Lil Touch Oh GG, Pet Cheetah Twenty One Pilots and Get Cool as well

39. how long have you had this blog for? I've not even kept track. A few years

40. what are you excited for? I've got a trip back to ireland in february and my heart is a c h i n g, it's been too long since i've been   41. are you a better talker or listener? Listener for sure. I suck at talking 42. what is the last productive thing you did? Finished a dance video project up last night!   43. what do you want for christmas? I'm dying to start backpacking like hardcore, so i've asked for all kinds of backpacking and camping supplies haha 44. what class do you get the best grades in? Always english. Hence the degree haha 45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? About a 7 maybe? 46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Teaching irish dance full time in a studio with my world globe on a shelf and travelling all over the world both to watch my dancers compete and also just because i want to fingers crossed!!!!! 47. when did you get your first heartbreak? Ughhhhhhh i was like 18 i think. Listen up yall, this is some piping hot tea. We were both irish dancers, and like. I kept beating him at competitions so he broke up with me. He was like i have to work on myself. But really he just needed to work on his dancing. I was still really upset about it though because i was young and still had emotions bahaha 48. at what age do you want to get married? There's no specific age that i have in mind. Honestly whether i get married or not, what's meant to be will be. I think as long as i'm happy, it doesn't really matter 49. what career did you want to have as a child? I think i wanted to be a singer 50. what do you crave right now? That lemon pound cake in the display at this starbucks is calling to me my dudes

I’m too lazy to tag this time, but if ya wanna do it then. do it.

[what-the-fuck-the-world]

An Interview With Drug Money USA

By Adam Roye Artwork by Matthew Bellosi Photos by AR and DMUSA

*from scumrag #1 (nov. 2016)

Drug (ar)

NAME / AGE / ORIGIN ? If you see me in Atlanta, you're going to hear choruses of people calling me "Drug," but my God given name is Charlie. I'm in my late twenties and I'm from Texas. I miss it there.

WHERE ARE YOU BASED NOW ? I live in St. Louis (for ascetic reasons). I make the Atlanta trip a couple times a month, but I've lived there for longer durations too, like 6 months at a time. For a while, I lived down there in this huge house with Yakki (formerly Yakki Divioshi), who is one of my favorite rappers of all time. Lil Silk was in the building of course too. Lotto Savage. Shout out to Guccio & Yayo Gang in St. Louis. Free Twank Banks. Geek Monster Gang. Keep your eyes peeled for the Mansion documentary shot by me and edited by Silk himself. A very piped up inside look into the life. I was always, always filming, whatever we were doing.

Yakki (dmusa)

HOW’S YOUR DAY GOING ? Man, honestly, it was a stressed out, kinda shitty day. A lot of them are like that it seems, but I'm so, so proud of what I'm doing that I can't help but think it's worth it. I feel like I'm helping ensure that some very singular, important art comes to fruition. And at the end of the day, I couldn't live with myself not doing this. It's really taken over a lot of my life, but I think that this is the role I was supposed to fill.

*note: I'm having a better day as I'm coming back to finish these questions. They aren't all bad. I have to remind myself sometimes.

CARE TO BREIFLY DESCRIBE YOUR HISTORY / INVOLVEMENT WITH MUSIC, BANDS, SHOWS, ETC ? I've definitely been involved in music for a long time. I grew up in the hardcore scene in Houston. I'll always have love for that place and those people. All of my dogs in Austin too, of course. I released the Total Abuse demo on Drug Money Records and I've gone on tour with them almost every time they've ever toured. Rusty and I go way back. I collect records pretty hard, or I used to and now I mostly just enjoy what I have, because I'm so busy with everything else. I was always into rap, which isn't that special of a fact or anything, especially in Houston. My friend Masoud was an OG coach of mine back like way back on Houston rap. You could still buy the tapes from the old Screwed Up Records & Tapes location on Cullen then. I'll never forget that he advised me on picking up Dancin' Candy, P's n Q's, and maybe another one. I wonder where all those tapes went. He also tipped me off on K-Rino way back when. So because of Masoud, I was corresponding with K-Rino in high school. And I should mention too that there was a band from Houston called Eyeagainst and they touted Aquemini super hard. that was probably my first really serious dance with Atlanta rap. I was awed.

HOW DO YOU DEFINE DMUSA... ? ANY LABELS YOU WOULD PLACE ON IT, MAYBE TO DESCRIBE TO SOMEONE WHO IS COMPLETELY CLUELESS ? Good question. I would say that I'm involved with all levels of making rap music. The range of shit I have to do really has no limits. I release singles on my YouTube channel (and some on Soundcloud too), and now I'm releasing mixtapes. I connect the rapper and producer, arrange for the studio time to go down, and help conduct the goings on. I shoot videos and take photos of the process and life in Atlanta constantly. I set shows up in Atlanta and St. Louis when I can, and DJ, and make cassettes of my mixes (titles available from WTFTW and 6/27 Tapes). I get a lot of help from my friends. It's really refreshing to work with my dear friend Brodinski, because he has the same tireless drive to make this shit happen that I have, and really shares my vision more than anyone else I know. We are on the same page to a pretty wild degree. The projects I work on with him bring me great joy and make me feel like I'm not totally losing my mind. He's a true kindred spirit and I really value him. Total master of his craft, too. But yeah, bottom line, I would say Drug Money USA's central mission is making rap happen the right way.

HOW DID DRUG MONEY START, AND HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE EVOLUTION TO NOW (IF ANY) ? Really, I would say that it started off with a man named Stebo, who is a mover and shaker behind the scenes. I debuted a few of his tracks. I debuted a couple serious heaters from him at the beginning that really gave me some momentum. After that, I just started making more and more connections. Early on, I was getting joints from some guys I knew from their music and early affiliation with Young Thug, like Yung Zoo, YL Stunna (one of my favorite rappers of all time, also on Thug's ICFN2), and Justin Hunter (then Raymond Reedy). I'd do all this work for their own songs, so guys like Zoo would float me their songs with Thugger as exclusives too. Free Zoo. Joints from Papertrail 550, who is the fucking man, some of those featuring Casino and Bloody Jay and the Black Migo Gang. I was just connecting the dots between all the music I loved and making lasting friendships along the way. And these songs I was getting were (and remain) among some of my favorite rap music being made, so I was like, I guess I really have to do this, like, all the time. I had been working on this stuff for a couple of years before I started spending real deal time in Atlanta, and I didn't exactly know how it was going to translate when I showed up in person. But I went down there and had a place to lay my head, thanks to Guccio, living with some of the most vibrant talents in Atlanta in Yakki and Silk and company, and I got a call from Bloody Jay the night I arrived in town. We had a talk that brought a tear down my cheek within seconds, I kid you not. That is an incredible man. Free Bloody Jay. He's one of my favorite rappers ever. Of all time. And just an indomitable creative spirit. He's going to rule the world with words when he gets out. We need his voice right now, especially now. But anyway, Jay and I link up that night, which was surreal and a real dream for me (as well as a whole story unto itself), and around 5 AM, I get back to the house, where Yakki teases me for going to sleep because there was still something to be smoked. And that first night set the tone for my time in Atlanta that continues to this day. There's been hard times and losses and frenzied, really stressed out moments, but I've kept my head up the entire time, ever forging ahead. Now I have more songs to release and more work to contend with and more projects to work away on than I could have ever imagined. It really evolved into a scene unto itself. I'm working with all the people I want to work with. I'm helping make the music I would otherwise be clamoring for, so it's really a dream.

YOUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL HAS 40K+ SUBSCRIBERS, ARE YOU SUPER RICH NOW ? I'll go to bat for my people and zealously advocate for the artists I work with, but I'm not so business minded when it comes to my own stake. I never wanted to impede anyone from listening to these new artists or cheapen the experience, especially for the music I was personally presenting. And it just stuck that way. No advertisements. No YouTube monetization. I really like when my friends tell me that they spent a few interrupted hours listening to my uploads. I like that my channel doesn't promote anything but the music and the people behind it. I'm just too invested in that vision to break away from it right now.

WHAT WERE SOME OF THE EARLIER TRACKS YOU HELPED EXPOSE THAT INCREASED YOUR LEGITIMACY/VIEWERSHIP ? I started off with a bang, or a couple of bangs actually, courtesy of the very underrated Young Stebo, who I mentioned before. They were these songs with Young Thug ("Foreign Cash") and Ola Playa ("Started From the Bottom," also featuring YC). Really these very underrated songs that are almost like Killed by Death style Atlanta rap cuts. He has incredible songs by himself as well as as true classics with all of the then-burgeoning stars. Thug, Playa, Bloody Jay, Wicced, Yung Booke, Rich Homie Quan, everybody. His recent music has been incredible too, so stay on the lookout for more from Stebo.

Twice (dmusa)

FAVORITE PROJECT OR EVENT YOU’VE DONE ? My favorite project I've dropped so far has to be Twice's Zachary: Double It Up 2, which you did the artwork for. I put my everything into that project. Twice and I had already been working together for a while when he caught a case. After that, we really ramped it up and spent his last free days recording in his mom's basement while he was stuck sitting on an ankle monitor. Spaghetti J engineered over mostly Spaghetti J beats and we pumped out some unreal songs down there, with these pretty serious pitbulls looming behind us in the backyard. Big dogs like Tay Slime Ass and YL Stunna dropped by and recorded classics with Twice. Young upstarts Lil Patt and Slimelife Shawty came by and made some magic with Lil Double Up too. There's really no one like Twice, and I mean that. In South Atlanta, this mixtape is seriously a cherished classic. That's the correct school of thought, in my mind. It should be celebrated everywhere. It's really lyrical, thoughtful trap music straight from the heart of the jungle. He's got a real classic on there with Young Thug as well, called "No Wendy's", which you actually did the single artwork for too. Bless you for that. It's over the "Controlla" beat and it's one of my favorite songs of all time. He's not like other rappers his age. His favorite rappers are Drake, Jadakiss, and Fabolous, and he goes in over an Eve beat on "Runnin' Up", but his rap is still distinctly Atlantan. It's the perfect balance. He's an old soul with a serious voice, wise behind his years but prone to mistakes, just like anybody else. I pray for his release. Free Twice. I actually dropped his first songs (with YL Stunna) back in February of 2014, so Zachary was a long time coming for me. I listen to it everyday.I'm really, really excited about Young Slime Season, the upcoming 20 track mixtape featuring all the young Slimes, the young crew, that I'm dropping with Brodinski and Bromance Records a couple of days before Thanksgiving. We've been working on it for a long time. It's a really huge project. It really represents the voice of the youth of Cleveland Ave. The central players on the album are Babysnake, B Slime, Lil Clockk, Maja Got It, No Mask Nuk, Lil Patt, Lil Reek, Slimeball Kelly, Slimelife Shawty, Lil Tay, The Homie Cashyy, Twice, YL G Baby and Zack Slime Fr. But it features contributions from a couple of the big dogs too, like YSL Hitta, YL Zoe, MPA Bukk Bukk too, as well as a couple of tracks featuring Atlanta star B La B, who is an entity all his own. It's really a sprawling journey, running the gamut from these perfectly crafted melodic gems to these very rambunctious songs with like 6 rappers a pop. You can hear the urgency and vitality of the youth on every track. The production is really otherworldly too. I'm dropping YSS with Bromance Records, so the producers on it are either directly from that camp or close affiliates. Peerless music. I have actually been listening to Myd, who produced a few flawless tracks on the project, since 2009, when Air France put his track "Train to Bamako" on an online mix. And now I have tracks with my favorite young rappers today rapping to his music. It's unreal. So it's these very fresh, often unorthodox rappers with this production that also isn't like anything else in rap music either, or any music period. The production is indispensable, and the music just couldn't have come from anyone else, with regard to both the rapping and the production. The producers on there are Amine Edge & DANCE, Bobby Swan, Brodinski himself, Ikaz Boi, Mister Tweeks, Myd, Myth Syzer, and Ryan Hemsworth. It could not sound better. It's such a vital document. I'm like dying, I can't wait for it to drop. I'm so proud of what we made.I'm really proud of The Return of Cheat Code too. My friend Diaz and his big dog James really helmed all the mixing and mastering and a lot of the preparations for that one. Then Bame Cheat Code is his next project, which we will also be releasing. It'll be here in December and it might just happen to feature a certain big snake, if you know what I mean. Welcome home, Cheat. His influence can't be overstated. Just listen to yesteryear's "President Slide Show" with Kwony Cash and Young Thug.

Patt, Slimelife Shawty, Twice (dmusa)

I'm going to present the Black Roses mixtape, the first offering from the YL camp as a unit together, featuring an all-star cast of some big Slimes. It features YL Stunna, YL Zoe, YSL Hitta, Taliban France, and Money Game Boo. I have tapes coming out individually from each of those artists, as well as tapes on the way from B La B, YSL Maybach, Zack Slime Fr, and Lil Patt.

I also have a tape coming out with the Atlanta production duo Spaghetti J that is centered around Cleveland Ave/Jonesboro Rd. Spaghetti J are incredible, and we have been working on music for a couple years now actually, really amassing a library of killer, homegrown music that we are always still adding to. Our first installment is on the horizon though, and it's going to be something serious. We also have single artist projects we'll be releasing together with some of the rappers I listed above. Remember the name Spaghetti J, for real.

I've always shot the documentary footage, but more recently, I've been shooting a lot of music videos that I'm really excited about. The first three I'm dropping are from Tay Slime Ass, Rari Rokket aka Ferrari Smash, and Solid Lil Chris. Free Chris. After that, it's the "Drug Money" anthem from YL Stunna, YL Zoe, and Twice. I filmed it a while back. It's a perfect storm. That one is going to be my opus, I think. Double LP vinyl edition of Ola Playa's Slime Season is almost ready. Years in the making. The interview I did with Playa on my blog, actually, is one of the labors I'm most proud of. I'm also working on a petition for Money Game Boo to sing the National Anthem. Talk about a singular talent. His tape is going to cause earthquakes.

Hitta, Patt (dmusa)

IN ONE SENTENCE, WHY DO YOU DO DMUSA ? Because there has never been anything like this music and I feel uncontrollably compelled to do my part in making it happen.

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