#I am sure many people have said this before

[thecuriousbeauty]

during the early shows of the "live on tour" era, when him were still performing in theaters, harry couldn’t take his eyes off a fan while he was on stage. so he takes her to the backstage after the show (or to his hotel room).

That Special Girl- Harry Styles x reader (Fluff)

A/N:-Put a little spin to this, I hope you all like it! Thank you for the request anon, and for patiently waiting! Please like and reblog to support me, xx.

Word count: 1.7K

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You don’t usually take this route on your morning runs, but today, you were craving those soft, buttery, warm croissants from the bakery down the street for breakfast. You definitely deserved it after your run. And today was going to be a very special day in your life, you needed to start the day right. So you didn’t mind the mild crowd you had to run through to make it to the bakery.

All you could think about was going to your first Harry Styles’ concert that evening! He was finally coming to your city and you weren’t going to let go of the opportunity to see one of your favorite singers perform live. Sadly, your best friend couldn’t go with you, so you were going alone but you were sure you’d make friends once you got there. That was also something you were excited about. Being around so many people who share your same interests. 

Just as you were about to enter the bakery, you saw someone familiar on their morning run. Your eyes squinted to make sure what they were seeing was really true. 

Wow, even before you got to the concert.

It was Harry Styles!

He was wearing a grey sweatshirt and blue shorts, shades protecting his eyes. You had to try so hard not to freak out, because the last thing you wanted was to be like some of those crazy fans. You admired Harry, yes, but you believed everyone, celebrity or not, should have the privacy of at least not getting disturbed while on their morning run. 

He was running towards where you came from, where you knew there was a crowd, so even though you were nervous and not quite sure if the words would form proper sentences once you opened your mouth, you decided to warn him.

“U-Uh, Harry?”, you spoke as he was just about to whizz past you, and he stopped. You couldn’t read his expression very well, but you continued. “You don’t wanna run that way, it’s pretty crowded.”

While you were talking, he tapped on his phone, probably to stop the music from his ear pods. “Oh. Oh, okay.”, he said, a little surprised. He probably thought you stopped him for a photo or something. He stared at you for a few seconds, while you were wondering if you had made any mistakes in the one sentence you spoke .

“I-I’ll go back the same way, then. Thanks, love.”, he smiled, dimples popping and although you couldn’t see his eyes, you knew they were crinkling. 

“Yeah, of course.”, you smiled back. “Good luck for the show tonight!”, it slipped out before you could think if it was okay to say.

“Thank you! Are you coming?”, he asks, still smiling.

“I am, actually.”

“That’s amazing. I’ll see you tonight, then, love. Gotta go now, thanks again. Bye bye.”

“Bye bye”, you find yourself repeating, and Harry chuckles before running away. You’re still in a daze as you turn to the bakery, almost hitting your head on the transparent glass door, not realizing that you have to open it. You laugh at yourself, and open the door, the smell of those delicious croissants making you beam. Today was going to be a great day.

______________________________________________

“I’ll take so many videos for you.”, you tell your best friend through a video call as you do your hair, getting ready for the show. 

“You better! You look so hot, y/n, I won’t be surprised if Harry himself falls for you.”, she says, winking at you through the screen and you laugh. You had picked out a black top, with a translucent sparkly cover on top, pairing it with a silver skirt. You did your makeup minimally, except for your eyes, you put on some shimmery eye shadow. Once you were ready, you said bye to your best friend and got going.

You reach the venue, chatting up with a few girls immediately, sharing bracelets and just sharing where you’re all from. You were led to your places when the show was about to start, and you had fun while the opening act was going on. You weren’t dancing yet though, you were saving your energy for when Harry would take the stage.

And finally, there he was. The man you saw in the morning, except now he was radiating more confidence and charm. He was up there probably doing his favorite thing in the world. He looked incredibly attractive in his outfit for the night, silky light blue pants paired with a pink and blue jacket. The color combinations complimented his features wonderfully, not to mention the perfectly placed tattoos over his chest and abdomen.

You sang along with the rest of the crowd as Harry started Music for a Sushi Restaurant. Harry was running around all over the stage, and his eyes were drifting around, looking everywhere while he continued to sing. It seemed like he was searching for something, or someone. 

When he gets to your side of the stage, for a minute, you feel like his eyes meet yours, and you’re not able to make sure because of all the lighting and there are a lot of people around you. But you can confirm he was indeed looking at you, because he grins as he brings his hand up and gives you a wave. 

You gasp and wave back. He remembers you from the morning!

For the rest of the show, you noticed that Harry was coming to your side of the stage quite often, and even looking at you as you sang the lyrics back to him. He would even lean over slightly, almost as if he was directly singing to you. You enjoyed all the songs and Harry’s energy was infectious. He kept bouncing around the stage, cracking jokes, reading out signs, making people happy and being the man he is. During the last song, which was Kiwi, he did his little dance and you did the same with your new friend next to you, and he stopped to watch you both, amused.

“Oh my god, he liked our dance!”, she squeals next to you.

You definitely had a lot to tell your best friend.

You’re having mixed feelings by the end of the show. Happy because you had THE BEST night ever, and sad because it’s over. You were gonna have to say goodbye to your new friends, and to Harry. 

Little did you know, Harry had different plans.

_______________________________________________

Harry couldn’t stop thinking about you. Even as he was running through the crowd to go backstage, escorted by the security, he was looking over to where you stood, hoping to catch another glimpse of you.

But he couldn’t find you. He was too taken back by your beauty and kindness that he even forgot to ask your name in the morning. But he wasn’t gonna give up. He needed a chance to see you again.

So he asked his security to find you, telling them where you had been for the show. 

“Well this is a first, special girl eh, mate?”, Mitch teases him backstage, chugging down some cold water. 

“I’m just curious to know more about her.”, Harry says, not denying what Mitch had said. Clearly everyone in his band had noticed that he was watching a particular someone in the crowd. He thought he hadn’t made it so obvious.

Harry walked around, adrenaline still pumping through his veins, and Sarah passed him some water too. “Calm down, H, they’ll find her. Even if they can’t, if you really want to see her, we’ll figure something out.”

“How?”, he asked.

Sarah winked. “Leave that to me. Your fans are capable of a lot of things, you know.”

Harry didn’t question that. 

To his absolute delight, security had indeed found you, and Harry rushed into a separate room to meet you, not wanting to scare you with the whole band. He thought you would probably be nervous about all of this too.

There you stood, clutching your bag in one hand, your arm covered with bracelets, and his eyes shifted to your face, seeing you up close for the second time today. 

God, you were gorgeous.

Strikingly beautiful eyes that he was finding a hard time looking away from the whole evening. Perfect, soft features and your smile had him smiling ear to ear. 

“Am I in trouble?”, you asked nervously.

“Oh no, sorry love, I just didn’t get your name. I wanted to thank you again for this morning.”, he said. 

“Oh! It’s all good, I hate being interrupted during my morning run too. I’m y/n!”, you smile, and Harry extends his hand, shaking yours. “Hello, y/n, I’m Harry.”

You giggle, finding it funny that he was introducing himself and he can’t help but laugh. “Nice to meet you, Harry. The show was amazing, like crazy.”

“Yeah? I’m glad you enjoyed it, love.”, Harry says happily. “I didn’t spook you out sending the security behind you did I?”

“Kinda. I really thought I was in trouble for taking a shot the girl next to me offered or something..”

Harry laughs, and you smile sheepishly. “You all did shots without me?”, he asked, a fake hurt tone to his voice.

“Oh no, did you wanna do one?”

Harry shakes his head, dimples popping. “Just kidding, y/n. I just wanted to get to know you a little bit. You had my attention the whole night.”

You blush, not knowing what to reply, really just saying, “Oh..um..”

“Do you want to go hang out for a while? If it’s okay, of course. It’s completely fine if it’s not, it is late and you must have places to be-”, Harry starts rambling nervously.

“I’d love to!”, you piped up, and his grin widened. “Yeah?”

It’s true that no one believes in love at first sight, until they meet that one special person who comes along and steals their heart.

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Taglist: Taglist: -@livypops12352568 @harrydeary, @harryswifee, @harrysbxtchh, @gracelovesethan, @kiwitsayedsugar, @angeldavis777,@madstyles3204, @youngpastafanmug, @fruity-harry, @wannaliveinparadise @hermionelove

Let me know if you want me to add you to my taglist or if there are any changes, love you all so much.

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Two Three Four Five

“So Steve, I know you said that you don’t think you need anyone...” Eddie sighs, “do you think that implies that I think that what he thinks is wrong?”

“I think it implies you’ve lost your fucking mind.”

Eddie doesn’t even have the energy to glare at Dustin, it’s much easier to just pretend he hasn’t spoken, “okay, Steve-”

“Yeap, you’re really strong on establishing you know the guys name, which is like, a solid point in your favor.”

“I hate you,” Eddie says to the ceiling, neck at an odd angle where he’s flopped his head back over the arm of the couch, “so, Steve, I know you said you don’t need anyone, and you are totally right-”

“You’re a strong independent Omega who don’t need no Alpha!”

“So help me Henderson I will throw you out,” Eddie waits, but Dustin is finally silent on the matter, “Steve. I totally respect the fact that you are absolutely fine handling everything alone, and if you’re...happy with us, being friends, then I’m happy with that too. I did wonder, though, if you’d like to go on a date. With me. Maybe?” Eddie sighs, flopping his arms over his face, “I’m so bad at this. This is going to go so wrong and he’s going to hate me and never want to see me again and-”

“Eddie...has the Omega broken your brain? What the fuck is wrong with you man-”

“I don’t know! I don’t...I’ve literally never felt this way before, not about anyone. And Jamie, man, I know he’s not my pup, okay, Steve and I aren't dating, he’s literally my friends pup, that’s it but...I swear I would die for that kid, no question.”

“Okay...so just...ask him out? Steve I mean, not Jamie-”

Eddie huffs, “I don’t...I’m pretty sure I can’t. The more I think about it the more it feels...like Steve’s had a pretty bad run of Alphas, it sounds like, and I just don’t think he’d be interested. And he’s just literally had a pup, like Jamie is only just a month old, who am I to add to that, you know? Steve’s got enough to think about.”

“So...don’t ask him out?”

Eddie flops over onto his side, curling up so he can smush his face into the cushions, “but I really want to. I think it’s selfish though. I’m being selfish. I should just...be a good friend. Keep being a good friend.”

“And pine to death?”

“I mean. Seems like a reasonable way out.”

“Dude I do not know what to say to you,” the timer on the oven starts to buzz, “but at least you’re going to feed me, right?”

Eddie sighs, dragging himself out of the near suffocating safety of the gap in the couch cushions. He opens his message thread with Steve, scrolling back through the shared memes and screenshots and pictures. He reads little tidbits of conversation while he pulls out bowls and plates. The three dots appear, Eddie’s heart leaps a little because Steve is, right there. Right next door, with his phone in his hand, typing to Eddie.

‘I’d love some. I’ve made a banana cream pie if you want to take it back for your games night.’

Eddie sends back a shocked emoji, ‘I can’t take an entire pie.’

‘You won’t, my slice will be gone.’

Eddie smiles and slips his phone into his pocket. He slices two thick pieces of bread from the loaf he made this afternoon, wraps them, and then fills a bowl with casserole. Eddie’s pretty sure this bowl is Steve’s anyway; so many of their plates and bowls have been migrating back and forth it’s hard to tell any more, between Eddie’s dinners and Steve’s desserts.

He likes to bake something extra special for games nights though, he always says you can’t make just one cookie, or one slice of pie. He likes to make sweet things when he knows there will be people to give it to, otherwise, “I’ll just eat the whole thing Eddie!”

Eddie doesn’t see a problem with eating the whole thing, but he slips on his adventure crocs and heads out into the hall. Dustin doesn’t even tease too badly any more, even though Eddie’s sure it’s because he’s threatened to withhold Steve’s desserts.

Eddie knocks with the hand holding the bread, letting himself in when Steve calls, “it’s open!”

“Hey Steve, hey Jamie,” he sets Steve’s dinner on the little table, next to the juice and cutlery Steve’s already set out for himself.

“What do you have planned for them tonight?” Steve brings out a pie on a plate, a slice already gone, just like he said. It has real neat swirls of cream on top; it looks professional to Eddie, like you’d buy in a store.

“Destruction. Misery. Suffering. The usual.”

Steve hums, “uh hu. What color salad did you decide on in the end?”

Eddie sighs, “you say it Slaad. And I don’t know, what do you think?”

“I actually quite liked the idea for the dog shark thing, it was cute,” Steve hands over the pie, going on tip toes to kiss Eddie on the cheek as he hands it over.

“One home brew Bulette, coming right up,” Eddie replies absently. He’s pretty sure he’s gone at least a little pink, and Steve’s scent is fresh and bright in his nose for a moment, “I’d better…” Eddie gestures lamely with the pie, “you know.”

“Have fun!” Steve calls as Eddie lets himself out, “don’t go too hard on them!”

Eddie’s doing his best not too stare, he really is.

He has one foot on the stroller, rolling it gently back and forward. He has his guitar resting on the other knee, he strums, singing quietly to Jamie, “I'd rather be a forest than a street, yes, I would...if I could, I surely would.” Jamie burbles at him, waving his arms a little and making happy pup noises.

On the court, Steve laughs, and Eddie fails, and he looks. Steve’s wearing a tank top and those obscenely short shorts. Him and Chrissy are bouncing the ball at each other, catching it, doing a squat, a little jump, and bouncing it back. They’ve done all sorts of stuff like this, sweaty jock games. Steve’s short shorts riding up even further at the slightest provocation.

Jamie makes a noise, drawing Eddie’s attention back, “I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet, yes, I would...if I could, I surely would,” Eddie sings, soft and slow.

Steve and Chrissy come over eventually, Steve lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe at his sweaty face, fully showing Eddie his tummy in all it’s glory. It’s thick, but firm, decorated by a handful of stretch marks and a perfect dusting of happy trail, “thanks for keeping an eye.”

“Huh?” Eddie asks, feeling kind of dumb but still managing to strum along on auto pilot.

Next to him, Chrissy snickers around her water bottle.

“Thank you, for watching Jamie,” Steve says to him more slowly, smirking, his sweaty hair flopping across his forehead.

“Right, right, sure, of course. Anytime. Pleasure. Really.”

Next to him, Chrissy huffs. Eddie pointedly ignores it.

The knocking is awful. It’s relentless. It’s obnoxious. It’s definitely Robin.

“I know you’re in there!”

Yeap. Yeap that’s definitely Robin. Eddie groans into the couch cushion before dragging himself up. She’s speaking before he has the door fully open, “this is getting old.”

“And what might that be-”

Robin puts on the most obnoxious voice Eddie thinks he’s ever heard, she clasps her hands together, holding them to her chest and she bats her lashes coquettishly at the ceiling, “oh Eddie’s cooking is just the best ever. Did you know he plays guitar! He says he’ll teach Jamie when he’s old enough! And he’s so smart, he’s got so many books in his apartment-”

“Okay.”

“Did you know he’s artistic! He paints his little dungeon game miniatures and they’re so good-”

“All right.”

“You should just see him with Jamie-”

“Robin.”

“And he’s such a good Alpha! He’s so good to his friends, he puts in so much work-”

“And we are done,” Eddie goes to shut the door. He can’t handle this. He knows Robin probably means well, in her own meddling way, but he just...can’t. This has to be Steve’s choice, right? Steve’s been pretty clear why he went it alone, and Robin is just...teasing him. It makes Eddie feel all warm and bubbly inside, knowing that Steve says these things about him, that Steve...likes him. But...Steve has a pup, and just because he says these things behind closed doors, it doesn’t mean Eddie has any right to know them.

No matter how it makes him feel.

“Wait wait wait...can’t you just, ask him out? End all of our suffering?”

Eddie sighs, “Steve has enough going on without me making it more complicated, okay? Steve can...he’s perfectly capable of telling me this himself.”

“No he isn’t. Because Steve would never ask you to take on another Alpha’s pup.”

“He’s not another Alpha’s pup, he’s Steve’s pup,” Eddie tells her reflexively.

“Uh hu,” she has her hands on her hips now, looking at him expectantly.

Eddie swallows thickly, and he can’t quite look at Robin, “what if...what if I loose him?”

“You won’t. You know you won’t.”

“But-”

“Me and Chrissy are taking Jamie for the night, did you know that? Giving Steve a night off, and we’re getting some practice in for when we’re ready to have our own, you know?”

“I...did not know that.”

“Yeah.”

Eddie stands for a second, not sure what to say, down the hall, Steve’s door opens.

“-and it’s in the changing bag.”

“I got it.”

“Don’t forget to heat the formula to-”

“Steve,” Chrissy sounds exasperated, “we’ve got it,” she has Jamie in his car seat.

“Plus,” Robin whispers to him conspiratorially, “he’s going to have a heat at some point, so we gotta be ready for that. You know, wouldn’t be fair to which ever Alpha ends up helping him out-”

“I know what you’re doing,” Eddie growls, watching Steve fuss over the pup.

“Is it working?”

“Go away.”

Robin shrugs, and Eddie watches as she goes to Chrissy, taking the bag so Chrissy is just left with the car seat, “it’s going to be fine, and you can call us any time.”

Eddie ends up watching Steve, as Steve watches his pup and his friends disappear at the end of the hall. His shoulder sag a little, and Eddie can't help but go to him.

“Hey.”

Steve sighs, “would it be weird if we followed them?”

“Maybe. I’ll drive though.”

Steve smiles up at him, and it looks kind of watery, “what if we break into their place and take him back?”

Eddie shrugs, “pretty sure we could just ask but, whatever makes you feel better, I guess.”

Steve sighs, “I sound crazy,” and a tear finally escapes, sliding down his cheek.

Eddie can’t help but scoop him up into a big hug, “I think you sound like the best dad in the world. I’ll get you one of those mugs. You know, for fathers day.”

Steve sighs, and sniffles, “thanks Eddie.”

“You want take out? I’ve primed you a miniature, if you still want to try your hand.”

“Can we watch a shit film too?”

“Oh fuck me I’d love to watch a shit film,” Eddie says vehemently into Steve’s hair.

Steve laughs against his chest.

Steve doesn’t have it in him to try painting his owlbear tonight; he picks forlornly at his duck rolls, “I’m sorry I’m not very good company.”

“It’s okay, I get it...I miss him too.”

“Oh, so you admit I’m being shit company?” Steve smiles for the first time this evening.

“Oh, yeah, the absolute worst.”

Steve phone pings and he practically dives for it, but then he melts, face going soft as he looks at the message, “Jamie’s asleep,” he shows Eddie the picture.

“Safe and sound,” Eddie reassures Steve for probably the fifteenth time this evening.

“I didn’t...I mean I knew I’d love my pup but...I didn’t know it would feel like this, you know? It feels crazy. And I mean...Jamie’s happy, and healthy, and that just makes absolutely everything feel...right? Does that make sense? Like...fulfilled.”

“I...yeah. I think I understand,” Eddie tells him quietly, because he feels like that about the both of them, as long as Steve, and by extension, Jamie, are both happy and healthy then...yeah. Yeah, the whole world feels like it’s an okay place to be.

“Eddie I-”

“Steve-”

They speak over each other, and end up laughing, leaning closer together on the couch. The remains of Steve’s half eaten dinner get moved to the safety of the coffee table. They’re close enough then that Eddie can see the dim light from the TV reflecting in Steve’s eyes.

“You go,” Eddie whispers to him.

Steve shakes his head, but takes Eddie’s hand in both of his, rubbing his thumb over Eddie’s knuckles, Steve whispers back, “you first.”

“I...I really like having you in my life Steve. And I don’t want to...to fuck that up, by expecting more from you.”

“I...yeah. Same.”

“Same?” It comes out as a surprised laugh.

Steve’s laughing too now, “what do you want me to say I mean...you pretty much covered it.”

“I have spent ages agonizing over this and and and- all I get is- yeah. Same. I guess. I suppose.”

Steve is properly laughing now, “come here, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he pulls Eddie close, and manages to stop laughing long enough to kiss his cheek, “okay,” Steve takes a deep breath, “I’ve just had a pup, and both me and that pup care about you so very much, and I did not want to mess it up by expecting you to take that on, okay?”

“You’re not a chore Steve, neither of you are a chore.”

“I mean he was sick on me the other day and that kind of felt-”

Eddie cuts him off with a kiss. It’s soft, a gentle press of lips that Steve...sighs into. Relaxes into. Lets Eddie take both their weight. Steve’s hands find their way into Eddie’s hair as Eddie gently wets Steve’s lip, and Steve lets him in.

It feels like coming home.

[hellodropbear]

it’s time: christmas

mapi leon x ingrid engen x child

a short christmas fic with my favourite family

unfortunately for many christmas is a tough time so this is a bit of angst for you

I am not too happy with this but it’s already the 30th 🙃

~~~~~~

She giggled quietly, smiling as usual.

Her mother chuckled back, eyes crinkling with that familiar love and adoration she felt whenever she looked down at her daughter.

It was a long Christmas Eve for two and a half year old, a day of Norwegian celebrations with Ingrid and her family who had travelled down to Spain so they could spend the holiday with the defender who refused to go back to Norway and miss another christmas with Mapi and Isabel.

The Norwegian walked into Isabel’s room, smiling at the quiet laughter her two Spaniards were sharing, entirely content in her decision to stay in Spain over the christmas holidays..

“Papá Noel!”

She pointed at her stocking, grinning in what could only be described as pure excitement.

“Bed now, Mami! Sleep for Papá Noel.”

Her indigence only made Mapi snort quietly, Ingrid shaking her friend from where she was standing at the door.

“I can only go to bed if you fall asleep, Is!”

Mapi smiled, pulling Ingrid into her side as she moved closer.

“But I’m excited, Mami! Ale said she got me something good!”

“I’m sure she did, but the sooner you sleep the sooner you wake up and see what ale got you.”

Isabel frowned at that, apparently deep in thought. Her eyebrows knotted and she closed her eyes for a moment before realising, smiling up at Mapi and Ingrid again.

“Ok! I go to sleep now then!”

Ingrid couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, laughing softly into her hand as her head rested on Mapi’s shoulder.

“That sounds good.” Mapi cooed softly, leaning down to place a kiss on Isabel’s head. “Good night my beautiful daughter, sleep well.”

“Night Mami, night Ingrid.”

She beamed up at the Norwegian, who followed Mapi and kissed her forehead.

“Goodnight Is, sleep tight.”

She nodded, pulling the sheets up to her chin, a wide grin still stuck on her face as she closed her eyes and scrunched them tight.

“Merry christmas, my lion cub.”

The toddlers grin only grew, opening up one eye and nodding.

“Merry Christmas Mami. Merry christmas Ingrid.”

The couple smiled, standing by the bed as the girl closed her eyes again, switching off the night light and creeping out, cracking the door as they left.

They got ready for bed together in silence, easily weaving between each other as they completed their nightly routines.

It wasn’t until they had climbed into bed, warm in each others arms that Mapi began to speak.

“Last year she was so excited for Christmas.” Her voice was barely audible, so quiet that Ingrid had to move even closer to hear.

“She was racing around, moving as fast as she could. She kept saying that Papá Noel needed more cookies, more milk because otherwise he would leave the bad presents. She barely even spoke to me all night because she was so concerned by the cookies and milk we were leaving out.”

She let out a dry chuckle.

“She woke up the next morning, so excited and so overwhelmed by all the excitement that she just burst into tears in my lap. She kept saying that there was so much stuff and that she wasn’t sad. I knew that, because she didn’t sound sad, she was just so overwhelmed by everything. She missed you a lot, I think. We were alone over christmas, you know that. It was the two of us and by christmas she was used to you being around. She would ask me where you were, why you weren’t home.”

Ingrid smiled, her arm tightening around Mapi.

“She’s so happy you’re here this year. She was so excited to meet your parents and your brother. I think… I think she likes having christmas with other people. She seems to like the big gatherings with people who love her… people she loves.”

She releases a sigh, a puff of air that she didn’t even realise she was holding.

“I didn’t do that for her first christmas, or her second. It was just the two of us and she cried on both of those days. I thought it was best, I thought that we had each other and that we were enough. But I don’t know if we were. I cried both of those days too.”

Ingrid sighed quietly, planting a kiss on the side of Mapi’s head.

“I’ve said this to you before and I know I will say it again and again and until we die, but you know that you are enough. She loves christmas, she loves Christmas because you made it a day of love.”

“I isolated her from everyone that loves her, Ingrid. How do I forgive myself.”

She was staring directly at the roof, her fingers running up and down Ingrid’s arm.

“What do I do?”

The Norwegian smiled.

“You don’t have to forgive yourself for anything. Not when you did nothing to hurt anyone. You didn’t ruin any relationships, you didn’t destroy Isabel’s childhood. You made decisions that worked for you at the time. It doesn’t mean they have to work for you now, Maria.”

She sighed, her hand falling from Mapi’s hair to her face.

“If I called any one of those people that you chose not to see, if I called your parents, your brother, your family. If I called Alexia or Leila or any one of your friends they would be here. If you said that you wanted to be around them for Christmas. They’d come, Maria, because they love you.”

The Spaniard buried her head into Ingrid, releasing a soft exhale.

“I’m lucky to have them. I’m lucky to have you as well. It’s not… I don’t regret it all any more, I don’t feel so guilty now. Christmas is just such a big… milestone. It’s so easy to remember past years and it just makes me reflect on how things have changed. We used to be like her, leaving out milk and cookies, waiting for Papá Noel. We’d wake up and spend the day with family, happy and laughing and everything was good.”

She turned her head to look into Ingrid’s eyes.

“And it changed over time, everything is different. And it’ll keep changing every year, one day Is will be too old to celebrate with us, one day she’ll bring someone home for Christmas. One day she might have her own babies and create her own traditions and we can only hope we’ll be involved.”

Ingrid’s heart warmed. The thought of being involved for that long made her heart flutter with anticipation and love.

“You will be. Isabel loves you.”

Mapi chuckled again.

“And you. Anywhere you will be I’ll be right beside you. And Isabel loves you too, Ingrid. Remember that.”

She smiled quietly as they fell back into a comfortable silence, the thoughts of past christmases floating through their minds. It was a few minutes before Mapi spoke again.

“He was most excited for Christmas with a child, Luis was. He wanted to be Papá Noel.”

Ingrid rolled over, staring right into the sincerity in Mapi’s eyes.

“He always said he’d put beer out for the big red man because he didn’t like milk. That he’d stuff a stocking so full that it wouldn’t be able to hang from the chimney anymore. He was so excited for it.”

She smiled at the nostalgia.

“It was his favourite holiday. His Christmas gifts were always the best ones.”

The Norwegian’s fingers were comforting, running up and down her side.

“I miss him a lot at Christmas.”

Ingrid nodded, her smile soft, her face understanding.

“I should have warned you that I get emotional at Christmas. Sometimes it’s not fun.”

She chucked dryly as Ingrid shook her head.

“Nothing you say or do could make me even consider being anywhere but right here. I love you and I love Isabel and I want to be with you. Whether it’s happy or sad or lighthearted or heavy. I want to be beside you.”

“I want you beside me too, Ingrid.”

~~~~~~

The big plans of Santa Claus were foiled in the leon household, Isabel’s migration to her mothers room somewhat changing all plans.

Mapi had organised a trail of Christmas confetti through the apartment, a ribbon from the bed to her stocking and a note from Papá Noel on her bedside table.

But she felt the girl crawl into her arms late at night and had to open her eyes and turn off the alarms, instead waiting for her daughters breathing to even out before transferring her onto Ingrid and improvising with the gifts and notes and ribbons.

It took an hour to make everything perfect, and another half hour of Mapi sitting by the Christmas tree, deep in thought before she returned to bed.

Christmas was a day of emotions, and she really just wanted to get them out of the way before her daughter woke up.

But she realised, as Isabel shifted between Ingrid and Mapi in her sleep, as the Norwegian beside her roused slightly and intertwined their hands, that she was exactly where she needed to be.

She must have done something right to be this lucky.

~~~~~~

“Mami! Mami look!”

It was still dark outside, maybe 6 in the morning when the toddler woke up, immediately spying the red bow at the foot of the bed, the ribbon attached that trailed across the floor and out the door.

“He came, Mami, and he even knew where to find me!”

Mapi’s eyes opened slowly, bleary with sleep and early morning exhaustion.

“Did Papá Noel come, Is?”

Isabel nodded giddily, lying flat on Mapi’s stomach so she could nestle her head into her mothers neck.

“I’m so excited, Mami! And Ingrid is here too!”

The defender smiled, her hand landing on the head of hair in her neck.

“I’m excited too, Isabel. Merry Christmas.”

Her voice was more sombre than the child, less excited. But a smile landed when those brown eyes looked up at her, sparkling and wide.

“Merry Christmas, Mami. I love you.”

And just like that Mapi’s heart melted, her eyes watering as she sat up, pulling Isabel with her and climbing out of bed.

“How about you wake up Ingrid now, she sleeps so heavily, doesn’t she?”

“Ingrid always sleeping, Mami.” She chuckled quietly, crawling onto Ingrid and poking her cheek.

They both watched the Norwegian wriggle, still apparently asleep even with the weight of a two year old lying on her.

“Ingrid, Christmas! Papá Noel came!”

She continued to poke at the brunettes cheeks as she groaned, laughing as she spoke incoherent Norwegian.

“Isabel, it’s early.”

“Ingrid, it’s Christmas.”

Mapi laughed from where she was standing, staring down at Ingrid and Isabel.

“It’s time for breakfast, Ingrid.”

Isabel looked up at her mother, a betrayed expression on her face.

“B- but Mami!” She frowned, her forehead creasing into that adorable expression.

“What?” Mapi was struggling to hide her smile behind her faux confusion, completely enamoured by her daughter.

“Papá Noe- it’s Christmas!” She shook her head, seemingly stressing as it fell into her hands. “We- we open presents, Mami! From Papá Noel and then we have breakfast! Presents first, Mami!”

Mapi shook her head, feigning disbelief.

“It’s Christmas?” Isabel nodded fervently. “You should have told me, silly! I forgot about presents!”

The toddler exhaled in relief, smiling back up to her mother.

“You made me worried Mami! You’re so silly sometimes.”

Ingrid laughed, her eyes still closed as she lay on the bed but the noise was enough for Isabel to spin round, realising the Norwegian was actually awake.

“Ingrid! It’s Christmas!”

She grinned as her eyes opened.

“Happy Christmas, Isabel. Did Papá Noel come?”

Her voice was a murmur, her eyes still adjusting to the light so she squinted as Isabel nodded excitedly, climbing out of the bed and towards the ribbon at the end of the bed.

“Mami, please! Let’s go!”

Both adults laughed, slowly following behind the child as she raced through the hall, following the long piece of ribbon that led her to the stocking.

She squealed with excitement at the stocking sitting by the mantelpiece, completely stuffed with presents for her to indulge in and the two adults could only grin as she pulled it towards her and began to rip into the gifts.

~~~~~~

It was an easy morning for the family of three, a quiet breakfast and even more presents later. At 11, Ingrid’s family emerged, having given them space for stockings and breakfast before gathering for more presents and lunch.

“Take this over to your Mami for me, Isabel.” Gudrun smiled, passing a package to the toddler and beaming up at where Mapi was sat on the sofa.

It was only a small parcel, but Isabel was happy to deliver it, wriggling herself into her mothers arms as she began to pick at the wrapping paper.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” She smiled anxiously through Gudrun’s reassurances that they definitely did.

She opened the gift to reveal a small fold out photo frame, a picture on each side.

“We’ve only been here once and well, I really noticed that you have so many pictures, Maria. So many gorgeous pictures of Isabel and your friends and family and now Ingrid. But I didn’t see any of you, not a single one.”

Her voice faded out as Mapi looked at the pictures, tears immediately springing to her eyes.

“Ingrid did all the work, really. I told her what I wanted but she found them, I think she even took the one on the right. I hope it’s ok, Mapi, and I hope I haven’t overstepped.”

The Spaniard shook her head quickly, wiping away tears before they even got the chance to fall. Because there were two pictures staring back up at her. The right side held a candid of her and Isabel, smiling happily at each other as the child played in her mothers arms. It was a good picture, one that captured the happiness and purity of the moment. It was the picture on the left that brought all the emotions out.

She remembered the day clearly, from maybe five years ago.

“It’s Christmas, Maria! We have to do something!”

He had grinned, following her in his car as she walked up the sidewalk.

“You’re going away! I can’t believe you’re going away for the holidays.”

She shook her head, trying her best to avoid relenting, to avoid succumbing to the charming grin and the heating in Luis’ car.

“I’m really sorry, you know this. I wish that she asked me to go away at a different time. But I can’t skip this trip with Bel and her family. Not when I want to propose to her.”

Mapi rolled her eyes. He had spoken of this proposal for so long but was yet to visit a singular ring shop. The only thing he had done was ask Mapi if she knew Isabel’s ring size.

“I know. it’s fine, Luis. This is something you have to do.”

She looked at him and her expression was enough to tell him exactly what was going through her head.

“Get in the car, Maria.”

She stopped walking, a smile dancing on her lips.

“What?”

“We’re celebrating christmas! I don’t care that it’s not the 25th yet. We have to do something, we do something every year.”

Mapi rolled her eyes, turning around to properly face the car.

“Just because Isabel and I will probably be engaged by next Christmas doesn’t mean I want to stop celebrating with you, Maria. Get in the car, we’re going somewhere.”

She sighed, reluctantly opening the door and sinking down into the seat.

“Where are we going?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

~~~~~~

They sang Christmas songs on the drive, Mapi struggling to decide where they were headed as Luis weaved his way out of Barcelona.

They spent around an hour in the car before pulling up into what looked like a car park of some sort of nature trail.

“Luis what are we doing here?” She shook her head. “I thought we were celebrating Christmas, not going on another hike! You know I had training this morning, you know I have a game tomorrow, I’m not allowed to be exercising!”

He rolled his eyes, smiling amusedly.

“Yeah, yeah. I know, Maria Leon the great can not do any spontaneous exercise. That’s why we’re not doing exercise.”

He got out of the car, signalling for the tattooed defender to follow.

“Where are we going then?”

“So impatient.”

He waited for her to follow him out of the car before dragging her towards the woods. He ignored her questions as they began the trail, weaving through different pathways with practiced ease until they reached a dark pathway covered by trees.

“Ladies first.” He stepped to the side, watching with anticipation as she cautiously walked through the trail, stopping abruptly as she reached the clearing.

Because it wasn’t just any clearing, it was a small one surrounded by trees and in those trees were hundreds of little fairy lights, each tree with a star on the top. Lights hung between treetops, creating a canopy of light above them and Christmas ornaments littered the branches, reflecting the light around.

“Luis… when did you do this?”

Mapi spun around, her face lit up in the kind of delight that could be compared to a small child on Christmas morning.

He smiled as she almost bowled him over into a hug, her eyes squeezed tight as she tried to avoid any stray tears from leaking out.

“I came here last week with Mami and saw the potential. I came back this morning with all the lights.”

She released him from her hold, taking a few minutes to stare at the display he had set up.

The man put his hands in his pockets, walking up behind her and placing a familiar arm over her shoulder.

“I knew you’d be upset when I told you that bel and I were spending Christmas with her parents in Madrid, I was upset when she asked me because I knew I had to say yes but I don’t want to have to give up our traditions. But Maria, I’m going to have a family one day and so will you, we won’t be able to spend that day together forever, just the two of us. I wanted to create a new tradition that we could have between us, something to celebrate how our friendship has lasted so long.”

Mapi rested her head on Luis’ shoulder, her eyes watering.

“You’re my best friend, Maria, and I wanted to do something for you. One day when we both have kids and wives we’ll spend our Christmas Day together, but we can still have this day for ourselves. Unless you marry an ogre who hates me.”

Mapi laughed wetly.

“And unless Isabel gives birth to an ugly troll.”

“We both know you’d still be the best aunt to my ugly troll.”

Mapi rolled her eyes, silently agreeing.

They fell into a comfortable silence, perfectly happy just staring at the trees around them.

It was a while until Mapi spoke again, her voice a quiet whisper among the nature.

“Thank you Luis. You’re too good.”

He smiled, laughing quietly.

“You’re my best friend, I’d do anything for you.”

“You’ve set my standards so high. You’ll intimidate every girlfriend I ever find. She’ll want you instead after meeting though. You’re too good.”

“One day you’ll meet someone perfect. Someone who makes you feel things you’ve never felt before. I can’t wait to meet her, someone who makes you happy. I know I’ll love her as soon as I see that smile on your face when you tell me about her.”

“Thank you for believing that.”

“One of us has to.”

~~~~~~

They spend hours in the woods, lying down on the floor and talking quietly. It’s what Mapi loves so much about her time with Luis, the conversation. It flows so easily, so quickly and has so much depth and meaning. Sometimes lighthearted, sometimes heartfelt and sometimes somewhere right in between.

The sun was setting when they emerged, a few other people also milling around the car park, saying goodbye to their friends and wishing them a merry Christmas.

Mapi was halfway in the car when Luis strode towards a group of strangers, staring out at her friend in confusion as he spoke to them, laughter echoing through the dark car park.

He returned a few minutes later, pulling her back out of the car.

“This guy has offered to take our picture in the woods!”

He said it with such excitement that Mapi had to double take.

“Why, Luis?” Her voice was close to a whine, not wanting to go back again.

“It’s our tradition! We have to document it every year. Maybe when my baby troll is old enough it’ll take the picture for us.”

The defender rolled her eyes, reluctantly climbing back out of the car and following them back into the woods, her face lighting up yet again as soon as the lit up clearing came into view.

“You guys did a good job in here.”

The two best friends just smiled for the photo, agreeing silently.

~~~~~~

It was a memory she treasured, something that she had pushed deep into the depths of her memories that would only be remembered if she tried.

Or if she was given a picture of what was supposed to be a long lasting tradition.

A tradition that only lasted two years.

“Thank you, Gudrun. Thank you so much.”

The Norwegian smiled, her eyes closely examining Mapi’s nostalgic expression.

“I hope you like it. You’re a beautiful girl, Mapi. You should show that off more to people who come here.”

She blushed, her eyes diverting back down to the pictures in front of her.

“That’s Papi, Isabel. Your papi.”

The toddler nodded, more excited by the picture of herself on the right frame.

“And me, Mami! And you. It’s missing Ingrid!”

Mapi’s breath caught in her throat, a strangled gasp escaping.

“Yeah, Is. It’s missing our Ingrid.”

~~~~~~

The roads were unfamiliar, the car park empty on the cold morning of New Year’s Day.

It took an hour of sitting in the car, Ingrid’s hand held tight in her own as Mapi hesitated.

She hadn’t been back here without Luis. She wasn’t sure if anyone would have bothered to take down the lights he had put up all those years ago.

She wasn’t sure if the clearing would still be there or if the covered pathway would be closed off.

It had been four years since their last visit.

But they had agreed that they’d take their kids. That Mapi would bring her girlfriend one day.

So here she was.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Mapi could only nod, her voice would surely fail her if she tried to speak.

“I’m proud of you.”

The Norwegian smiled, placing a soft kiss on Mapi’s temple.

It was what gave her the power to get out of the car, pulling Isabel out of her car seat and tight into her arms.

“I want to go first, by myself.”

She handed Isabel to Ingrid who obliged, remaining a few metres behind the Spaniard who made her way through the forest.

She stopped outside the pathway that Mapi ventured down, sitting down on the floor, Isabel finally stirring from her nap.

“Ingrid? Where are we?”

“We’re in the woods, Is. Mami wanted to come have a look today”

“Woods!” She crawled out of Ingrid’s arms, toddling around and looking, playing with the leaves and sticks laying on the floor.

They stayed there for a while, Ingrid not entirely sure when she should follow, not sure if she should follow.

But eventually Isabel grew restless and Ingrid knew that they couldn’t delay it for much longer. The toddler ran ahead of her as they moved through the passageway, breaking into a faster pace as soon as she saw the old lights still twinkling on the trees.

Ingrid, however, was more concerned with the state of her girlfriend, who sat on the floor in the middle. Her eyes were red and puffy, but her cheeks were dry.

She sat down next to the Spaniard, who immediately sank into her embrace.

“He would have loved you so much.”

Her voice was louder this time, so confident in what she was saying.

“He would have loved how happy you make me, he would have loved the smile you put on my face and how good you are with Isabel. He would have been so happy that I found you, that I found someone so perfect.”

Ingrid smiled, her arm tightening around Mapi.

“I would have loved him too. I am so grateful for him, you know.”

Mapi looked at her curiously.

“He took care of you. He gave you Isabel. He took care of you even after the accident.”

She fell silent for a moment.

“Sometimes I think he is the reason we met. Because if it wasn’t for Isabel… who knows where either of us would be.”

Mapi nodded, watching her child look at the lights, completely mesmerised by the decorations.

“I like to think we would have found each other either way.”

They fell back into another comfortable silence, watching as Isabel grew bored of the lights, turning around and wandering back towards Ingrid and Mapi.

She crawled into Mapi’s lap, standing up and kissing her head.

“Pretty lights, Mami. Pretty.”

“They’re so pretty.”

“Like the picture with Papi! The picture from Gudrun.”

Mapi smiled, leaving a kiss on the curly head of hair.

“You’re exactly right. Lights from Papi.”

The toddler sat down in Mapi’s lap, fiddling with the bracelets that decorated her wrists.

“I want to have a big Christmas next year, Ingrid. With our families, some friends.”

“Hmm?”

Ingrid smiled at the thoughtful look on her girlfriends face.

“It’s what Luis would have wanted.”

[aestariiwilderness]

My times are in Your hand - Psalm 31:15 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. - Matthew 10:29-31 ‘For in Him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are His offspring.’ - Acts 17:28 Psalm 139:13-16 For You formed my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. / I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and I know this very well. / My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. ... Isaiah 64:8 But now, O LORD, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are the potter; we are all the work of Your hand.

Psalm 39:5 You, indeed, have made my days as handbreadths, and my lifetime as nothing before You. Truly each man at his best exists as but a breath. Selah Isaiah 51:12 “I, even I, am He who comforts you. Why should you be afraid of mortal man, of a son of man who withers like grass?

Isaiah 40:6-8 A voice says, “Cry out!” And I asked, “What should I cry out?” “All flesh is like grass, and all its glory like the flowers of the field. / The grass withers and the flowers fall when the breath of the LORD blows on them; indeed, the people are grass. / The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.”

Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will surely help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Job 9:12 If He were to snatch away, who could restrain Him? Who could say to Him, ‘What are You doing?’ John 10:29-30 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.

"That wouldn't be fatal!" It would."They couldn't survive that!" They could.

If my time as an EMT and instructor taught me anything it is that the body is both impossibly resilient and impossibly fragile, and almost any traumatic injury you can think of could either be fine or fatal depending on the whims of the universe.

So use that crap as liberally as you want to serve whatever narrative you're writing.

[reality-detective]

There has been one thing that I have noticed since President Trump stepped aside in 2021... There has been a GIANT sting operation going on behind the scenes undercover, hidden by all the misinformation/disinformation and distractions. We're near the End of this nightmare.

Remember when Trump said it will be the BEST Christmas ever? It came and went with no change... The powers that be have EVERYONE using the Gregorian calendar and I feel the White Hats are using the Julian calendar, so that would make January 6th Christmas and New Year's Day will be around January 13th.

I have been hearing a lot of scuttle about shit hitting the fan. Last night I woke up between 3 and 4 in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep, the last vision I had before I woke up was New York City. I AM feeling some really different energy and it's amiss. Since I woke up my gut goes from being fine to being in knots to nauseous and I can't eat.

I don't know why I feel this or what the message is... All I know is my intuition is trying to tell me something and it doesn't feel good to me at all. Could it be the beginning of the 17 cities 1 event which I have mentioned before that people aren't ready for what is coming? IF it is, it will löök like WWIII and people are going to freak out. Many countries, even the U.S. will erupt into utter chaos will be everywhere on a global scale.

I AM NOT saying I AM correct and this is what is coming but I AM damn sure I WILL be lööking for signs because there is a voice that speaks but it doesn't use words.

What I AM doing is opening up and sharing what I AM feeling. Maybe some of you are feeling that energy too? I have learned to pay attention to my gut because seriously that gut energy doesn't lie. And like I said maybe it's something totally different?

Thanks for hanging with me when I open up like this... If I say nothing and something happens that falls on me, but if I say something and it happens and everyone does nothing then that's on you. Just be aware of your surroundings, keep your head on a swivel with your eyes open. 🤔

[punkrockmlchael]

Bed Chem - Chapter 1

My Main Masterlist

Bed Chem Masterlist

Modern AU; Rockstar!Gareth Emerson x Popstar!Fem Reader ; loosely based off of the song Bed Chem by Sabrina Carpenter

Warnings: 18+ mdni, Popstar!Fem Reader, Rockstar!Gareth, Mentions of Anxiety, Best Friend!Robin, Mutual Pining, Flirting

Synopsis: I was in a sheer dress the day that we met; we were both in a rush, we talked for a sec.

Word Count: 2.8k

-

“This is all so crazy,” you mumbled to yourself and to your best friend, Robin, as you frantically moved around your hotel room. You kept pacing back and forth in the small room like a pinball bouncing off of the walls of the machine. 

“Crazy, why?” Robin asked as she followed after you, trying to fix your hair. “God damn girl, fucking stay still,” she sighed, looking at you. You stopped in your place and turned to look at her, biting your lip out of nerves as she reached her right hand up, pushing a strand of your hair back behind your ear. 

“It’s all so crazy because I don’t deserve this,” you said, nervously, “I am literally just a small town girl from Ohio.” You sighed, looking up at Robin. “I am not meant to be a popstar, or famous, or anything for that matter..” You trailed off, looking around the hotel room, your eyes meeting the curtains that hung in front of the windows. “I’m just… me.”

“That, my friend, is where you are wrong,” Robin replied, smiling at you as she proceeded to fix your hair and look at your makeup. “You are so incredibly talented and beautiful and you deserve this so much. You have worked so hard to be where you are now and it makes me so proud watching you grow and evolve as a person and a performer.” She added, smiling as she triple checked your hair and makeup. “Besides, there are so many other people that are excited to see you perform tonight as well. The fans, the artists, the actors; you are literally the talk of this Awards Show.”

“Yeah?” You asked, looking at her. “Like who? Who could possibly be excited to see me perform?” You raised an eyebrow, watching her every move. 

“Well, for instance, I heard that Corroded Coffin is going to be there,” she said with a wink before she walked back to the bed to grab your dress. “I saw a video of them the other day on Instagram? No, maybe it was TikTok? I don’t remember the platform but I know they were doing a live stream and talking about the Awards Show, since they’re performing too. They were answering some questions that people were asking in the chat and your name was mentioned. All four of them smiled, and I think their drummer was talking about how stoked he was to finally meet you and see you perform live and in person.” She added as she unzipped the dress bag, revealing your black and sheer looking dress. 

“Wait, their drummer?” You asked, taking a few steps closer to her. “Like, you mean Gareth?” You asked, “Like, Gareth Emerson? Curly hair, blue eyes, freckles, those really strong arms that could just, probably put anyone in a choke hold and that really awesome shaded dragon tattoo on his left bicep that looks really fucking good when he’s drumming?” You paused for a second, thinking about Corroded Coffin, more specifically, their drummer and his…looks, no, wait talent? No, it’s his looks, definitely his looks, but, his talent helps too. “The same drummer that’s killing records, making all those videos and just like, one of the hottest and best drummers out there right now?” You added, and Robin shrugged in return, a small smirk on her face.

“I thought that was Eddie? I don’t know; I’m not sure? I don’t think that I know their names, should I?” She joked, looking at you. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest as you made eye contact with her.

“You know their names,” you argued, sighing softly. You made your way to the bed and looked down at the dress as she took it out of the bag. “You and I both know that you know their names, and which one is which and what instrument they play,” you added, looking at her. “Closeted fan,” you mumbled at her.

“Yeah, yeah.” Robin started, picking the dress up by the hanger in her hands. “I know who they are because of you. I’ve heard you yell and scream Gareth’s name at your phone too many times to count. Occasionally Eddie’s name too but, mostly Gareth; I’m not entirely sure what you see in him, honestly. He’s just a… man.” She held the dress up by the hanger and looked at you. “And, you know what? I’m still surprised you listen to their music; I mean, you sit here and make upbeat pop music, and you listen to rock music in your free time? It doesn’t make any sense to me.” She added, shaking her head as she went on a tangent, again, about your music choices and the music you make.

“I really don’t feel comfortable taking musical advice from a woman who listens to country music in her free time,” you teased, grabbing your dress from her. You made your way to the bathroom attached to the hotel room and walked in, hanging the dress on the back of the door.

“Hey, I think every genre of music should be loved and is unique. The minute you write a country album, I’ll be the first to buy it!” She smiled back, watching you disappear into the bathroom with your dress. 

You shook your head and proceeded to get into your dress for the night. You slid off the robe you had on and stepped into your dress, pulling it up and over your body before zipping it up in the back. You did a little spin, checking yourself out in the mirror.

The black dress hugged your body perfectly, fitting in all the right places. The top corset was stoned with black and silver sequins and crystals, forming a perfect sweetheart neckline around your cleavage. The midsection of the dress was a sheer fabric with a couple sequins attached to it, showing the illusion of your skin beneath before it met the solid black sequin and sparkly skirt that was floor length. There was a slit cut out on the left side of the dress, starting at your upper thigh and lasting to the very bottom of the dress, flaring out at the bottom.

You gave yourself one last once over in the mirror before you stepped out of the bathroom, finding Robin zipping up her own dress for the night.

She looked up at you and smiled, taking in your appearance. “Hot,” she giggled, walking towards you. “You are so totally going to get hit on tonight while wearing that.” She said, looking you up and down. “Hopefully by Corroded Coffin’s drummer.”

You shook your head and blushed at Robin’s compliments before you sat down on the bed carefully, strapping on your matching black heels that showed off your perfectly french manicured toes. “I don’t think I’m going to get hit on in this, especially not by Gareth,” you said softly, strapping both of the shoes on your feet. “If anything, you’re going to get hit on in that,” you added, looking up at Robin as she did a quick spin in her simple navy blue mermaid style dress. As she spun the bottom train of the dress rose up, showing off the black Converse shoes she had on underneath. “Really?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“What?” She asked, defensively. “I’m not the one on the red carpet, Miss Popstar; you should be happy that I am in a dress for you, honestly.” She added, placing her hands on her hips, drawing attention to her waistline that appeared to be overdramatic in this dress. You rolled your eyes and stood up, looking at her.

“I wish you were walking the red carpet with me,” you admitted, shaking your head. “I am so scared that I am going to make a fool out of myself in front of everyone and blow my chances at becoming famous.” You added, looking at her.

“Hey, please,” Robin reassured you, stepping closer to you. “If Jennifer Lawrence can fall walking up some stairs, in front of everyone, while trying to accept an award then you really have nothing to worry about. And if you do fall, just laugh it off. I think you are overthinking this whole thing,” she frowned, looking at you. “Look at me,” she said, catching your eyes. “Deep breath, okay?” She took a deep breath in and held it for a few seconds before she let it go. You mimicked her moves, taking a deep breath yourself before you let it go in a fairly similar fashion. “Better?”

“Better,” you nodded, forcing a small smile for her.

“I mean it,” Robin said your name, noticing the forced smile on your face. “You have this amazing confidence every time you walk on a stage, and I just know that it will come out on the red carpet, trust me.” You smiled a little more at her words.

“I hate that you always know what to say,” you nodded her way, feeling your anxiety slowly wash away as you thought about walking the red carpet and meeting so many new people. “And, that you're always right.” You added, grabbing your purse.

“It’s a Buckley gift, really,” she beamed, grabbing her bag as she followed you out the door of the hotel room.

-

When you arrived at the venue for the Music Awards, your car door was being opened for you by people you didn’t even know. The kind gentleman smiled at you and helped you out of the car, giving you a nod as he said your name and smiled at you.

Wow, you could definitely get used to this.

You matched his smile as you adjusted your purse over your shoulder, the small bag hanging by your hip. You began making your way down the red carpet, your face lighting up as fans were lined up calling your name left and right for pictures and autographs. 

You made your way over to some, smiling at the teenage girls who were in front of you with excited grins on their faces. “Oh my god,” one of the girls said. “I cannot believe it’s you!” She said, jumping up and down. 

“Seriously! Oh my god, we’re such big fans!” The other girl added. “Can we get an autograph? And maybe a picture with you?” You smiled at them both, finding their excitement both sweet and heartwarming.

“Of course!” You replied, grabbing the sharpie from one of the girl’s hands. You quickly signed your signature over the papers they both had, adding a little hand drawn heart next to your name before you took one of their phones in your hands. You stood between them and took a couple selfies with them, smiling, silly faces, you took at least five selfies with the girls before you thanked them and headed on your way down the red carpet again.

As you inched closer and closer towards the entrance of the Awards Show, you were stopped by so many people. People wanting pictures of you, wanting to talk to you and ask you questions, more people asking for your autograph. Despite being overwhelming, it was definitely fun and a dream come true. As you were posing for some more pictures, you heard your name.

More specifically, you heard your name being said by the one and only Gareth Emerson. You looked around, finding all four members of Corroded Coffin a few feet away as they smiled and chatted with the journalists on the red carpet.

You stared at them for a second and blinked, your heart stopping. Jeff, Eddie, Gareth and Grant stood there; Gareth was currently giving a whole speech about how you were the one performer he was excited to see and meet. 

How your music was so fun and bubbly, just like your personality. How you always looked so badass on stage and carried yourself with such high regards. How you have a way of moving a crowd and this would be the first time he would actually be in the crowd to watch you in person. How you always looked so pretty in everything you wore and how–okay, now you were just hearing things that you wanted to hear…

You looked around the red carpet again before slowly making your way towards the group of boys. You didn’t even remember walking over, your feet just led you to them; but you weren’t complaining because, wow were they hot in person. Way hotter than you ever dreamed they would be.

“Yeah, her music seems to be speaking to a lot of people, and in my mind that makes a great artist,” Gareth praised, smiling at the journalist.

“Absolutely,” Eddie agreed, “she knows her audience and she is definitely playing to that. Hell, I didn’t even know I was part of her audience but, here I am!”

“Here we all are,” Grant corrected Eddie.

“Yeah, especially Gareth,” Jeff commented, elbowing Gareth in the side gently which made Gareth roll his eyes slightly.

You stopped behind the boys, standing between Eddie and Gareth as you let out a soft giggle.

“The feeling is very much mutual,” you smiled, looking at the boys as you snuck in between Eddie and Gareth, wrapping your arms around their backs gently. Eddie smiled as he felt your touch his back, and Gareth tensed at the touch slightly, his cheeks flushing a soft pink from being so close to you. “Speak of the devil herself and she shall appear.” You teased, looking at the four boys and the journalist.

The boys smiled at you, letting out little snickers here and there at how you referred to yourself as the devil. The journalist looked at you and spoke your name softly, pulling your attention back to him. “What are you most excited for tonight?” The journalist asked, smiling as he held a little microphone towards you.

“Honestly? Performing tonight, I am so excited to perform my own music in front of so many amazing artists. I am a little nervous, but definitely excited. I am also excited to see so many amazing artists perform as well; like these guys. I’ve been a huge fan of Corroded Coffin for quite some time, and seeing them perform will be a dream come true.” You replied, smiling at the journalist. 

“The feeling is very much mutual,” Eddie replied, his classic smirk on his face as he looked at you. You smiled and looked at him, rolling your eyes gently.

“I am so glad,” you giggled softly. “I should be on my way, but it was amazing to chat with you guys, I’ll see you all later!” You added before you gave Eddie and Gareth both a quick side hug and waved goodbye to all the boys before you continued down the red carpet. You posed for a few more pictures, smiling at the photographers in front of you. You were so focused on the photographers that you didn’t realize that Gareth’s gaze had followed you down the red carpet, watching and taking in your every move.

-

That night was a blur of emotions, feelings and experiences. It felt like you were floating as you performed on stage in front of the entire world–literally. 

After leaving the stage you wandered backstage, trying to find your way through the halls and crowds of people. You weren’t paying attention as you found yourself losing your balance, tripping over something.

The next thing you knew you were falling towards the ground before a pair of strong arms wrapped around you and caught you gently. You braced yourself for impact, your hands grabbing the person’s biceps tightly. 

“Careful, princess,” the person said, helping you to your feet with their arms still wrapped around you gently. You looked up, smiling a little as you were left face to face with the one and only Gareth Emerson. “You okay? Don’t want you getting hurt before we go on stage and perform, now, do we?” He asked, a small smile on his face as your face flushed from being so close to him.

“Yeah,” you replied softly, looking at him with a similar smile on your face. “I’m perfect, thanks,” you added, loosening your grip on his biceps before you nodded slightly. “Just perfect…”

“Anything for you, princess,” Gareth nodded, slowly releasing his hold on you. “I should go get ready and make sure everything is all good for our set. But, uh, I’ll see you around?” He asked, you nodded and smiled, biting your lip softly. “Oh, and good job; you sounded amazing out there… you’re a natural.” He smiled before he turned around and made his way towards the stage, leaving you to watch his every move this time as he walked away.

-

tag list: wanna be added? comment + let me know! @the-unforgivenn ; @keeryhours ; @fan-maddson ; @hotgirlsshareaccounts ; @swiftieintheupsidedown ; @hawkinsmafia ; @losingmygrasponreality ; @ilovecupcakesandtea ; @pupwrites ; @the-lurking-await-you

[rekino2114]

Hey could I get Lacey with a reader who kisses her (with her permission of course) all over her face while saying praises about them and how much they love her?

I want to see her happy and in a loving relationship so badly now ever since I saw your post

Kissing and comforting lacey

Pairing:lacey x gn reader

Tw(if you've seen lacey, you know):abuse depression,suicidal thoughts,just trauma in general (all of this is implied, and lacey has kind of healed from her childhood)

A/n:God, just writing all of the trigger warnings made me so fucking angry, lacey deserves only the best in this world, sorry it took so long to finally make a post about her and PLEASE keep requesting stuff for her I want to make her feel the love she needs and deserves

Lacey felt like she was trapped. All of the abuse she suffered was just the norm for her, and she knew that despite how desperately she tried, she could never get out. Despite how desperately she wanted to go get ice cream and go shopping and maybe find a partner, she could never, she was trapped here and she couldn't do anything about it.

That was until you came in her life.

You helped her get away from that hell. You gave her the strength to do what she wanted to do for her entire life, and you supported her the whole way through. She genuinely could never thank you enough for what you did for her.

But no matter how much you helped her heal the scars still remained.

She had woken up sweating and panting from another nightmare, she grabbed her cheek and started crying silently, she didn't want to wake you up. Even if you had always told her that she could come to you for whatever reason and especially to talk, she still felt hesitant to do so, she had already told you everything and she thought that she was bothering you by continuing to tell you about her trauma. Just like she was bothering everyone else by living

She continued sobbing until she felt a pair of arms wrap around her and a familiar warmth encompassing her, she didn't flinch as she immediately knew it was you

"Y-y/n!"

"Is everything OK lacey? Were you crying?"

"N-no it's fine"

You sighed and continued hugging her

"Lacey, you know you can tell me everything, I won't force you if you don't want to, but I know you're not ok"

Lacey laid down and hugged you back, facing you and closing her eyes

"........i-it was a nightmare"

".....about your childhood?"

"Y-yeah"

You saw her shiver and got worried

"D-do you mind if I hug you a bit tighter, you look scared'

She simply nodded as you tightened you grip, making sure it was not too tight and still comfortable

"Like I said before, it's fine if you don't wanna talk about it, I know how traumatic it was, but just know I won't let anything happen to you"

Lacey opened her eyes and stared into yours, her own grip tightening

"I love you, and you're perfect. You're beautiful, hardworking, kind, and gentle, I could keep going on forever. It's genuinely incredible how you didn't let your past influence who you are now. A lot of people would be so envious of you for that"

"I-i think a lot of that is because of you.....y-you helped me grow and move past all that-"

"Maybe, but I wouldn't have been able to do that if you weren't this strong, you have no idea how many people would have been powerless to do anything in your situation even with someone like me, you have such a strong will, I am so proud of you....for everything"

The blue haired girl felt a small smile creep up on her face, seeing that you smiled slightly too and touched her cheeks, before quickly pulling back

"O-oh I'm sorry"

"N-no it's fine I don't mind. Your touch....is nice. It makes me feel safe"

Your smile widened as you guided your hand back to her cheek

"Do you mind if I kiss you?"

"......no I don't mind at all, please do it"

You started kissing her face very gently, leaving very soft kisses all over her. She started smiling even brighter and blushed slightly

"You're wonderful lacey, you deserve only the best"

"T-thank you"

"You don't need to thank me, I'm just telling the truth"

"......still, it means a lot"

"And that's why I'm telling you that, cause I want you to know how much you mean to me"

She muttered another thank you and kissed your cheek this time before closing her eyes.

She still felt your lips on her skin and your sweet words in her ears, and they helped her so much. With you, she felt like all of her past, all of the abuse, her uncle, all the other horrible people, it all felt like a distant memory or a bad dream like the one she just had.

All of the crushing expectations people put on her, all of the terrible abuse she went through, all of the times she thought of just ending it all. They were all gone because of you, the ray of sunshine in that permanent thunderstorm that her life used to be.

Sure, she still had nightmares, but she was glad for exactly that, that they were just nightmare now thanks to you.

So she fell asleep rocked by your words and touches, glad that now she was going to have beautiful dreams of your life together.

[kneecapandribcageinverter]

I hoisted my shotgun.

"What's that your son said, way back when? "This is my body, broken for you?" Well, rations are running low, and I'm gonna be honest, I kinda miss the taste of bread. But wait, maybe it's lamb? He is called the "lamb of god." But he's also called a shepherd. And your blood is wine. Or at least your kid's was. But I figure the apple doesn't fall far from the tree... that reminds me, I miss apples. I've been eating bugs that I suspect are an alien invasive species from hell and long-pig that might have also been posessed for God- that's you- God knows how long. Mostly I got a hankering for revenge, on account of you ending the world and all. Yeah the devil's a jerk and all but you're the one with the seven seals and the fire breathing olive trees and- and the horses. And the men ON the horses. That Apollyon fucker did a drive by shooting that gave me the flu while his friend ransacked my pantry and took... uh, a specific percentage of the bugs I collected. I've been reading your book and those guys are 100% yours. I think. You know I can't tell what's real and what's fake anymore. Like I'm seeing people I killed, which ought to be textbook guilt driven hallucinations but I'm 40% sure there's a line in your book about how the dead are gonna walk the earth or something so I dunno. Anyway, where was I? Oh right I'm in a church! I was hoping to find you here, being the "house of god" and all. I mean you have a lot of houses. How many vacation homes do you even need? This is a horrible house by the way, where do you even sleep? Anyway I came here because hey, "god is in all his churches," so I decided to come here and kill you because free meat! Ahahahaha, God, I'm coming! I'm going to find you, I'm going to kill you, and I'm going to eat you! Meat! Free meat!"

I laughed, looking up at where God was trapped between metal bars. He didn't respond. Just stare down at me, silent, judging, making that same hand symbol He's always made.

"Don't you throw gang signs at me!" I said, hoisting my gun and poinging it at God's luminous face in the heavens before me. God shattered into countless shards of colorful glass without even a dying whisper. "Ahahaha! God's flesh! Mine all mine!" I scooped up piles of it off the ground and shoveled it into my face. Crunchy, crunchy. Even though the pieces of Him didn't bleed when shot, or on the floor, my mouth was filled with delicious blood. So what if it hurt? It must have been His attempt to smite me. Won't do Him any good any more.

I eat the body of the Lord until my vision fades, and I fall asleep. It feels so good to sleep on a full stomach for once. At last, god is dead. At last I am full. At last I can rest easy.

And if God is dead, that means... maybe tomorrow, the apocalypse will be cancelled. Maybe... tomorrow, I will wake up in a better place.

My eyes close.

You have survived the rapture for 4 years killing anyone to survive but one day you find God caged in an abandoned church

[thehereticdiaries]

WKTO: Breakfast and Boy Bands

Summary: You and Chelsea have a mini freak out over your breakfast invite. Meanwhile, Hongjoong isn't very happy with San. But don't worry, the members warm up to you at the cafe!

Mostly written story and texts with a few tweets

Series Masterlist

You didn't put your phone down until Chelsea threw a pillow at you, smacking you right in the face. You yelped and fell over dramatically, earning an eye roll from your best friend.

"Dude it's almost 2am! You know how long it takes me to get ready, I have to be up by 7 if we're gonna get to breakfast at 9," Chelsea whined and buried her head under her remaining pillow.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, geez." You switched off your phone and burrowed under the blankets. Both of you fell asleep within minutes, exhausted from the excitement of the day.

Hongjoong was beyond frustrated. He honestly couldn't believe his members could be so reckless. It was no use arguing about it, since the only one on his side was Jongho.

"Seriously, Seonghwa. Asking a fan to join us at breakfast? What was San thinking?" The tired captain complained to the equally tired eldest member.

"I know, Hongjoong. You've said it four times already. Just go to sleep."

"Fine."

You woke up almost an hour and a half after Chelsea. Unlike your friend, most days you only needed about 20 minutes to get ready for the day. Sure, on special occasions you go all out, but this was a simple breakfast at a simple cafe with a simple... idol group. Suddenly your weather-appropriate denim shorts and baby tee felt way too lackluster for a meeting with fucking Ateez.

"Chelseeeeaaaa I can't go wearing this!" You flopped face-first into your bed.

"Y/N, they're just people. Our outfits are fine." Chelsea was one of those people that wore leggings no matter the weather. Today was no different, as she wore plain black leggings and a halter-style tank top. You were surprised you were able to convince her to wear her one-and-only pair of ripped jeans to the concert.

"I am so jealous of your ability to stay so chill." She snorted at your grumbling, grabbing your hands to pull you to your feet.

"Let's go, it's almost 9." After grabbing your phone, wallet, and room key, you and Chelsea speed-walked to the cafe. You ended up a few minutes late, and when the bell jingled above the door eight sets of eyes turned on the two of you.

"Atiny!" San beamed, being the first to stand and greet you. "I'm happy you decided to come. You must be Chelsea."

"That's me," she nodded. She peeked around his shoulder to the other members. "I guess we'll join you guys after we order our food?"

"Oh, we haven't ordered yet," Yeosang smirked at San, who was frantically trying to shush him without drawing your attention.

"How come?" You titled your head in confusion.

"San and Mingi insisted on waiting for you to start," Wooyoung snickered behind his hand.

"Yah! Don't bring me into this!"

"Well it's true! You're the one that said we couldn't let a pretty girl pay for herself," Yunho teased very loudly, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

"Watch it, Song." Chelsea pointed at the tall idol.

"Wh-"

"This is my best friend right here." She shook your shoulders roughly. "I don't take kindly to boys messing with her feelings."

"Chelsea!" You swatted her hands away, having dealt with her 'protective older sister' mode many times in the past. Poor Mingi was beet-red and floundering to defend himself.

"Relax, I'm joking. Mostly," she waved you off and walked to the table, leaving you and San behind. You would never understand where she got her abundance of confidence. You pinched the bridge of your nose, fighting back a blush of your own.

"Come on," San urged you forward with a hand between your shoulder-blades. You sat between Yunho and Yeosang, glaring at Chelsea as she abandoned you for Seonghwa. The cafe had a cute little menu full of specialty lattes and pastries. Hongjoong wrote his members' orders down before looking at you expectantly.

"O-oh, I can pay for my own. It's no-"

"Just let him," Yeosang whispered to you behind his hand. "He won't admit it, but he wants to treat you both."

"I can hear you, Yeosang," Hongjoong leveled the younger member with a flat glare. Reluctantly, you told the leader your order. Chelsea did not hesitate, but thankfully didn't go overboard.

"So, are you students?" And through the power of small-talk, you felt yourself beginning to relax. Hongjoong returned with a table number shortly into the conversation.

"You drove four hours to see our show?!" Wooyoung gaped between you and Chelsea.

"This was the closest venue, so yup!" Your friend quipped, thumbs flying over her phone screen as she texted one of her other group chats.

"It still blows my mind that we have such dedicated fans," San gushed, smiling widely at the two of you. Pretty soon, two food runners brought out your drinks and pastries. You ate quietly, letting Chelsea lead the conversation for you.

"Are you alright?" Yunho asked softly, leaning close to your ear. You shivered as his breath fanned over your skin.

"I'm okay. I just take a while to open up. Plus, I'm feeling a little starstruck right now," you assured him. He nodded, squeezing your shoulder and straightening out in his seat. You were very aware of the arm he left draped over the back of your chair. Based on the look you got from Chelsea, she noticed as well. The rest of the meal went by more normally than you expected. Chelsea was right: they were just people. You all stood in the hotel lobby to say your final goodbyes.

"Thank you. I honestly never expected to meet you, let alone have the opportunity to hang out," you grinned at the idols. They moved toward the elevator, several members stopping to give you and Chelsea quick hugs. You waited patiently for them to enter the elevator so you could properly freak out with your best friend. San stopped just outside as the doors closed, waving to a pissed-off Hongjoong.

"What are you doing? Aren't you gonna get in trouble for this?" Chelsea asked as he jogged back up to you.

"He'll get over it." He looked directly at you now. "Can I get your number?" You froze, eyes wide and face turning a bright pink.

"YES!" You cringed at your friend's shout. She cleared her throat. "Yes, you can have her number. It's xxx-xxx-xxxx." San scrambled to write it down, calling you right away so you'd know it was actually him and not some weirdo catfish. You continued to stare wordlessly as he stepped into the elevator, disappearing from your sight moments later.

You could only think of one thing to say: "Oh. My. GOD."

Permanent Taglist: @furfoxsake22 @babygirlskz98 @miniverse-zen @holly-here @corgilover20 @eastjonowhere @bookswillfindyouaway

Series Taglist: @staytinyluv @kymimi @dalsuwaha

[kangshxrtie]

11 . that's cook (written)

"who’re you texting?" matthew’s voice interrupted your thoughts as you looked up to see him standing over you, arms crossed with his trademark smirk.

"just a friend," you said, quickly locking your phone and sliding it face down onto the table.

"which one?" he pressed, clearly not planning to let it go.

"you don’t know them," you tried, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal.

matthew scoffed. "don’t pull that. all of your friends are basically my friends. spill it."

"i know people outside of our group, you know," you shot back, rolling your eyes.

"oh yeah? like who?" matthew asked, leaning against the chair across from you, his smirk growing wider.

"um, to name a few… yoonchae, sophia, manon, megan-"

"uh-huh," he cut you off. "now, which one of those people were you texting?"

"why are you so nosy?" you groaned, leaning back in your chair.

"because my bestie is on the verge of getting a girlfriend, and i need to know everything," he said, dragging out the last word for emphasis.

"we’re literally just texting. i don’t even know if i like her like that yet," you said, trying to downplay it.

"oh, you like her," matthew said, raising his brows. "you were just sitting here smiling at your phone like an idiot. it was so obvious."

"wait, was i really?" you asked, genuinely startled.

matthew nodded, grinning like he’d caught you red-handed. "oh, absolutely. you were over here cheesing so hard."

"ugh, i look so down bad," you groaned, dragging a hand down your face.

"it’s okay. you’re just in your crush era," matthew teased, leaning forward like he was enjoying this way too much.

"i literally just met her, like, last week!" you protested, glaring at him.

"and? you’re gay. that’s basically like a month in straight people time," he said with a shrug.

"i can’t give in that easily, though.”

"because liking someone back who shows interest in you is so bad," matthew said, rolling his eyes dramatically.

"i’m just making sure she’s serious before i fully invest myself," you replied, crossing your arms defensively.

"just don’t play too hard to get," matthew warned. "i’ve seen way too many of your talking stages crash and burn because of that."

"okay, first of all, rude," you shot back. "and second, don’t bring that up right now. i’ve changed."

"i’ll believe it when i see you dating daniela," matthew said with a teasing smirk.

"you think we’d be cute?" you asked, glancing at him curiously.

"of course! i’ve seen pictures of her, and i think you two would look perfect together," matthew said confidently.

"would it be crazy if i kind of thought that too?" you admitted, a small smile creeping onto your face.

"not crazy at all," matthew replied, leaning back in his chair. "that’s just classic crush era behavior."

"stop saying that!" you groaned, rolling your eyes but unable to hide your grin. "i’m not even sure yet."

"that’s what this party is for," matthew said knowingly. "i have a feeling you’ll be fully invested by the end of it."

"i mean... i really am considering it," you confessed, biting your lip as the thought lingered.

"you better mean that," matthew said, pointing at you with a playful yet serious expression.

BACK | MAIN | NEXT

TAGLIST 🪩 @saysirhc @wintersgff @sixflame438 @1luvkarina @ihrtantn @yeetaberry127 @urmom2314 @vrtualstar @sed7ction @inybits @ellezra @meganskiendielsbtc @firstclassjaylee @modanisgf

[universalzones]

"Well, I certainly felt that way from when I spoke with Commander Lupe, though the President didn't give off such a vibe. I do wonder, could the commander be acting on his own accord? I don't wish to judge someone I haven't met, though he doesn't seem to have a very good reputation." Blaze wondered how many toes he has stepped on to have such a dislike from so many people. Regardless, there was little she could do about it now.

"I still dislike being dishonest, though I suppose there is little choice if I want to fully protect myself." Belle would simply swallow the pill for now and get to work making any adjustments she needed. "Though we can at least defend ourself from the claim we attempted to wipe our own servers, though I am concerned if there was any data they stole." The tinkerer could recover data with Belle Bot, though with the servers wipes there was no way to check if something was copied or downloaded.

"This is why I avoided G.U.N during the war," Rowan said as he entered the room. "It was a struggle and I had to tick off more than a few people, though I got a place for The Restoration to crash. I guess Clean Sweep cleared out of some building they had. Guess someone put them on blast so they all bailed. Which means it went to the town and not the government. Basically they're letting use crash there for free right now. Also means G.U.N can't come knocking wanting it without a fight from the mayor." Not perfect, though should last long enough for The Restoration to get back on their feet.

===========================================================

"I ain't got no one to blame but myself for the situation I'm in. Even after Starline was gone I still made selfish choices and hurt people, though Drippy never did. He just went along with whatever I wanted, and even then he never hurt a single person." Surge figured she could one good thing before being taken to jail, and that was to make sure Drippy got home.

"Then you better tell whoever I ain't letting the cuffs get slapped on me until I see for myself Drippy walking away. If they want to argue then be sure to remind them I can tear through more than a good chunk of their guys before anyone can actually stop me." Surge then looked at the checkpoint. "HEY, LOSERS! I AIN'T WITH THESE LOSERS EITHER! ANYTHING I DO IS ON ME!" She'd like to see them put any blame on The Restoration now if she did pick a fight.

Miles held his Miles Electric pad in his hands flicking his fingers along the screen. He accessed the company database and started to add entries in it for Belle, and creating a company profile for her. By making her part of his R&D she'd have the freedom to move around without worry. He made sure to edit time stamps and made it look as legitimist as he could. His hope was that it would look as authentic as possible for GUN's people. None of them were on his level so he wasn't to worried they'd figure it out.

" It's a strategic move... they want to make us look like Criminals to the people at large. I suspect they see Restoration as a threat to there own power base. We are doing what they were unable to do... whats the best way to handle that? assimilate the problem and take control of it. That's there ultimate play--- make us look inept and install there own people in charge. I'd bet my tails on it... "

He handed the Miles Electric to Belle to double check his work, and add any details she wanted to add.

" Here, you can see the profile i worked up. Feel free to add anything you think is relevant. This should protect you, they won't be able to touch you without a legal battle at the very least it'll buy us time. Next we should probably look into who this president is... "

Miles sat down at one of the consoles and began to sift through the internet looking for details on this President. Surprisingly there wasn't much, he was newly appointed after the war. His first real election wasn't for a few months. His name wasn't even mentioned, was always mr. president or acting president. It all felt fishy to Miles but he kept digging, there had to be something right? just who was this pretty boy anyway?

==============================================

Lanolin felt the wind blow through her hair, and wool as she stepped up next to Surge. Staring out across the field toward the GUN check point, with a grimace on her face. This wasn't just about handing Surge over was it? She felt awful about and, had grown to like Surge despite her grumpiness and bouts of anger. There were things she felt like she needed to say to her. It was harder then she thought it would be, harder to admit how much she'd grown to enjoy having her around.

" It wouldn't matter if i did, you wouldn't budge on the issue and i don't think GUN would either. You are so stubborn, and weirdly i'll miss that... "

She admitted giving Surge a sideways glance as the wind billowed through her wool.

" You've given me no end of trouble since you arrived. Always trying to start a fight, or push everyone's buttons. But over the past few months you've become a part of this team. I really did hope things would turn out different... "

She finally let her eyes turn to look into Surges, a genuine look of sadness as the thought of what would happen to Surge dawned on her. It was upsetting, but she couldn't do anything to stop it now, and she didn't even know if Surge would appreciate how she felt about this.

" We'll be arranging for them to come and get you in about 45 minutes. If you have anything you need to do before then, you have that long to do it. You should say your goodbyes... and, prepare yourself for the exchange. "

She felt like she might cry, like she was losing a friend even if they didn't talk as much as she'd have liked.

" as for Kit, we have a good defense prepared for him. I'm confident we can keep him out of GUNs hands. You have my word on that..."

[fangirlforthewin]

Stolitz Thoughts

I just rebinged the Helluva Boss episodes, and I have a new take on the Stolas x Blitz relationship. It wasn't that I didn't see it before, but I think when I wait so long between episodes, it inflates the time in the show to me.

The first six episodes of the first season it very much seemed they had a fuck buddy relationship, and that was all. I'd argue that Stolas showed his feelings a bit more as I found he seemed very protective of Blitz, but to me, it seems Blitz was very much sticking to their arrangement- he wouldn't allow himself to think it could be anything more.

I think in episode 6, we can see that he feels chained to the arrangement they have between them. I feel like he sees himself as beneath Stolas. He doesn't allow people to get close, but he craves it all the same.

Then episode 7, we see, I feel, for the first time that Stolas really does want Blitz for more than just sex. We can tell he's starting to really have feelings for Blitz, and this is just the first time we see how excited he gets because Blitz called him first. He's likely been waiting for this same call for a while, we just don't see it. And it makes Blitz's outburst at the end make more sense to me. To Blitz, it's never been said that they are anything other than fuck buddies, and now that Stolas is trying to change the dynamic, he doesn't know what it means, and it probably feels a little weird. Or that maybe they'll start doing the nonsexual things but Blitz thinks it will end in sex no matter what. But I think it's important that Blitz is setting boundaries and saying no. I feel like that's important.

The Circus is by far my favorite episode. I love that we get that backstory, and it sort of makes sense why Stolas falls for Blitz first. He was his first friend and thinks Blitz came to seduce him. For the first time, with Blitz, he feels passionate, emotional, more himnself- something he never felt while married. Meanwhile, to Blitz, it was a means to an end, and while he doesn't dislike Stolas, he didn't actually go there for that. So they came into the relationship with different reasons, and it makes sense how Stolas starts wanting more but Blitz doesn't really think about more. At the end of the episode, we see Stolas has been looking into the Asmodeus crystals, seemingly thinking about giving Blitz an out of their transactional relationship.

Then season 2 episode 4 is where things are going to start taking a turn. It's the first time Blitz realizes Stolas isn't infallible. I wonder if seeing this is what is making Blitz try to make amends with Fizz and Barbie Wire. Life is short, and he doesn't want to be alone.

Season 2 episode 6, we hear Stolas confirming that he has feelings for Blitz and is actively trying to find a way for Blitz to not be dependent on him for his job.

It really makes me excited for what's to come, and with all the growth that Blitz is showing with Fizz, that maybe once Stolas says out loud how he feels about Blitz that Blitz might actually listen. Can I also see Blitz running from his feelings or laughing it off as a joke? Yes, I can.

[an-internet-introvert]

Countdown to October 19th (19/19)

Happy 15 Years of Dan and Phil 🩵🩵🩵

[sir-fenris]

It is time :D, oh how I love to yap about chapters.

Lot's of feelings, emotions, feelings, emotions-

-

He had hoped for something that might give his life a perfect symmetry. He wanted any sense of justice to fall back on, though he knew well enough not to truly expect it.

Yeah, well... you searched for justice a bit too late, mate. Delta is already gone. Your guilt is not going to vanish by projecting Delta's impression onto Johanna. Justice and atonement aren't gonna fall from the sky.

But I like where this is going, so keep on :)

He did not dare reach for them here in the dead of space. He’d be no better off once he was out of the chains. Paris knew, with total certainty, that he would not beat her in a fight. He didn’t even think he could do it healthy anymore, some new flinch mechanism that made him so tired of hitting and of being hit. He certainly could not do it in the thralls of withdrawal, not with the cracked rib and the hole through his hand. No opportunity presented itself. He was scared to.

Honestly... fair. Very much fair. Being scared to try in a situation like is is honestly fair.

It embarrassed him just how badly he missed Delta.

Aw... 🥺. How can Paris inspire so much hate and pity in the same measure?

Like. Congrats. You miss the captive you abused, beat up and used every single day for no reason. You only miss him when he's dead and you're sad. Congrats, asshole.

But also... Fuck. How sad it is that one of the most honest, 'friendly' relation he had, was with that same captive. How sad that this captive had more sympathy for him than most people in his life. How sad that while he's being taken to his death, one of the only people he misses is Delta.

I have conflicting emotions with Paris' sentence. It's kinda adorably pitiful, bit sad, and makes me exasperated and angry at him.

All the same, her fingers had been lined with white gems that morning. They were impossible not to notice as he’d brought her hand up to his lips. He’d have done anything for her then. The memories bled out into the edges of his dreams.

Awww. Paris view of Lorelai also inspire many feelings on me, but at least this one just makes me thing Paris is being adorably pitiful. Lorelaaaai, come back to us :'( Paris is so much better with you around... and I wanna know more about you. Our duo is separated :(

Johanna dreamed of something cold and breathing beneath the soft wet earth. She had the nightmare often. Big walls and little hands. A playful pulsing in each of them, turned violent and mean over time.

She dreamt of a small box. She dreamed of a pulsing that grew into a frantic pounding — and a loving flesh that always come backs. It came back her no matter how many times they tried to kill her.

Johanna dreamt of a hole dug deep into the earth. She’s had the same nightmare since she was twelve — and though it gets better, it never really goes away.

.........Was she fucking buried alive? Am I tripping? I read this 3 times. Was she buried alive as a kid???

Honestly, kinda confused with the rest of the words, but now I'm really curious.

"A loving flesh that always comes back", wtf? Johanna?

“Did you know Martino?” he asked.

...wait. wait. Wait. WAIT. HOW DID I FUCKING MISSED THIS? Is Johanna from Beldam Institute????? Wtf? How did I not noticed that before?

You freaking liar, you said St. Holly's Prep! :0

Oh my fucking God, I'm gonna re-read every single chapter in all 3 series after this. I need to remember every detail.

Immediately, he knew it was a mistake. He had about three seconds to flinch before she’d crossed the interior to him and hit him as hard as she possibly could. The intention had clearly been to knock him unconscious, but he’d recoiled fast enough that she mostly struck the side of his jaw. He gasped, sure for a second it’d been broken. There was no time to recover in between the blows. He only shielded his skull as Johanna slammed the cleat into his side, over and over again, breathing heavy. She tore his arms away, gripping the collar’s chain just to slam his head back into the wall, pinning him there.

OH MY GOD SHE DID. SHE DID. SHE FUCKING DID.

Martino knew Johanna. Oh god. Johanna knew Martino. GOD. My mind.

And honestly? If I was in Johanna's place and someone just said his name, I would flip in anger too. Very reasonable anger. I would ban the name "Martino" from my life too. Bitter fucking asshole, that old man. Can't imagine hiw many bad memories she has of him, but definitely want to read every single one :3. And it must be a strong link to the Institute too. Like. How the fuck did Paris know the name of a doctor there, yk? It must have been a shock. A bad one.

But ouch for Paris. Actually winced a bit for him.

“Are you mad at me?” Paris asked. He was stupid and chastened, both knees drawn up to his chest.

... Gosh, I agree with Delta. He can be very pathetic, though I don't like using that word because it feels too mean. So pitiful. He's pitiful.

Really? You're projecting THAT hard, buddy? Why does it matter if she's mad at you, come on, is now the time to worry about that?

“Did you know him? Delta. One Zero Seven.” Paris asked quietly.

...

...Oh. Oh.

If Martino didn't make me flip enough...

I love how Paris starts with "him" before clarifying who. Because the "him" was clear for him.

And I do not believe her at all. Wasn't Delta like... the kid used to threaten other kids and all? One of the ones that lasted? Huh. She might be telling the truth, but I don't believe her.

And one thing. I still remember that when she said her name to Paris, she said it like it was meant to mean something. Idk if I'm forgetting something or if that still has no explanation. But honestly Johanna always confused me a bit. I think I really do need to re-read Crash out once again. Keep it fresh.

And uhhh... just a question. Was her hair ever green?

“What was it like?” he asked. There will be no other opportunities to ask, no other ways to know. He wondered if anyone else who went to that school was even alive anymore. Delta wasn’t. Was Johanna alive, really? 

He looked at her and he could not tell. 

Yeah, well, you could have asked Delta before, asshole. But keep on. Ask more. We want to know too :D

Is Johanna alive? Honestly can't tell either. She confuses me a lot, and after that burying alive thing I'm really not sure.

Except that all the previous times, he did not have a knife wound piercing straight through the flesh of his hand. A white bandage had been bound tight around it ever since he’d been rescued. It still held. She’d seen it, of course. She had to have known. She didn’t care. 

They must not have either.

You met Martino, Paris.

They did NOT care.

Paris offered both hands without resistance, surprising himself. Would she have forced him to if he hadn’t? For some reason, he didn’t think so. If he wasn’t playing along, he thought, she might just give up.

........ Hello? Paris, I'm actually concerned about you, my guy, wtf? Your behavior was ALWAYS concerning, but right now I actually want you to have a recovery arc, because wtf. You need help.

And I don't mean it in a mean way, Paris lately is actually being so pitiful that is hard to not want him to have a hug and rest and a full meal.

I read Destroyer and Rubies and hate him so much (with exceptions, sometimes he was.... half decent). Then I read Rubies and he's pathetically pitiful and sad and- 😀 hello?

(Tbf, he already was before, but... yk what I mean)

He still tried to be steady as the belt came down against his hands again. Again. Again. He resisted the automatic curling of his fingers in an effort to protect himself. It was really nothing. He’d had so much worse. He didn’t know why he was crying so badly. 

Again. Again. He lost track, letting his vision blur just the same as the count. All the nerves in his hand were beaten almost numb, stinging. He couldn’t keep the tremor out of them. 

Johanna grumbled in frustration, pulling the belt back to her side. She was fumbling with the end of it.

...Hm. Why do I feel like she kept hitting because he was crying? He asked how things were in the Institute, and as far as Delta told us repeatedly, the Institute punished them for crying and all.

Idk. I felt like thay was why she was frustrated, might be wrong.

“You don’t fucking ask when it’s over.” She barked.

Yeah, Paris, don't you remember how Delta acted 🙄. Just kidding. Actually felt a bit bad for Paris. Fuck him for making me want to give him a hug.

“You don’t understand!” She yelled. It was infantile. And it was wrong. He did.

Then again, he doubted she was even talking to him.

Neither of you are actually speaking to one another, let's be honest. Traumatized duo using one another for trauma-guided behavior. Just great.

He tucked himself further into the far wall, unable to stop crying or to even be silent about it. She did not speak to him again for the rest of the night.

...*sigh*.

Alright, Paris. You earned a hug. Come here 🫂.

Amazing chapter, as always :D <3, thanks for writing this story, eager for the next one.

And indeed thanks @floral-comet-whump for heping making Beldam Johanna canon, cause- WOW. That make me stare at the screen for minutes. I did NOT see that coming.

Now I gotta re-read everything, because my mind is.......... Wow. This chapter did flips with my head.

(Forgive any typos, I think I've been writing this for over an hour 😀)

-

Crash Out - Joey

(Content: past abuse, whumper turned whumpee, beating, implied child abuse, claustrophobia mention, addiction mention, retraumatization, crying, guilt, self harm?, blood, brief weight talk)

Still shaking, still sick, Paris stared up blankly at the ceiling again, for want of anything better to do. The manacles chafed at his bare wrists, leaving a thick band of raw skin beneath. He’d gotten used to it.

“Did you go to a school when you were little?” He asked Johanna without looking at her.

Without looking back from the control panel, she answered: “I’m not that fucking stupid, am I?”

He shook his head — and the movement of the collar caused the chain to click against the tile.

“No. I mean, like, a special one. For psychics.” He explained vaguely. 

“I went to St.Holly’s Prep.” She answered curtly.

“Oh.” He deflated. 

He had hoped for something that might give his life a perfect symmetry. He wanted any sense of justice to fall back on, though he knew well enough not to truly expect it. His hand traced the collar again, taking slow and steady breaths. He breathed easier when he was flat on his back. Any sudden motion made him feel like he might faint, so he didn’t move at all. The lock picks were burning a hole in his pocket.

She’d missed them, somehow. She hadn’t been very deliberate in the pat down — and at this point, he was all angles. His own hipbone had been as hard and as pointed as the metal. 

He did not dare reach for them here in the dead of space. He’d be no better off once he was out of the chains. Paris knew, with total certainty, that he would not beat her in a fight. He didn’t even think he could do it healthy anymore, some new flinch mechanism that made him so tired of hitting and of being hit. He certainly could not do it in the thralls of withdrawal, not with the cracked rib and the hole through his hand. No opportunity presented itself. He was scared to.

The stygian depths appear every time he closed his eyes, dark blue, teeming. He was scared. Some ancient dread was settling onto him, sharp-toothed and feral. He missed Delta. 

It embarrassed him just how badly he missed Delta.

But when he dreamed, mercifully, it was of Lorelai. It was a frozen morning and the last night’s rain had crystallized against the pale bluegrass. Her hair was undone, hanging in limp curls against the fabric of her sweater. It was the last morning before the break. He’d given her clovers and coffee and jasmine perfume. He’d have given her anything, but he knew the wealth humiliated her. It was an affront for either of them to even wear the uniform.

All the same, her fingers had been lined with white gems that morning. They were impossible not to notice as he’d brought her hand up to his lips. He’d have done anything for her then. The memories bled out into the edges of his dreams.

His heart was all the way empty when he awoke. Lorelai was safer without him than she’d ever be with. It was cold comfort. He’d left her alone and limp in the dirt.

There was no day or night to follow, but the ship’s lights had dimmed. Paris thought it was another hallucination, another dream he couldn’t shake — but the soft sound of crying permeated and echoed throughout the ship. His eyes adjusted slowly to the darkness. 

She was whimpering in her sleep.

~

Johanna dreamed of something cold and breathing beneath the soft wet earth. She had the nightmare often. Big walls and little hands. A playful pulsing in each of them, turned violent and mean over time. She smiled because she could, because they always liked her. She smiled too wide and laughed too hard, some screw knocked loose, faulty wiring from having been hit in the head one too many times. A nervous laugh. Wide, pleading eyes.

She dreamt of a small box. She dreamed of a pulsing that grew into a frantic pounding — and a loving flesh that always come backs. It came back her no matter how many times they tried to kill her.

Johanna dreamt of a hole dug deep into the earth. She’s had the same nightmare since she was twelve — and though it gets better, it never really goes away. She woke up with her eyes still blotted with tears and for a minute she had forgotten where she was. 

From across the room, the captive prince stared at her unblinking, and she knew he had heard everything.

~

Several hours later, when they were both wide awake, Paris tried again.

“Did you know Martino?” he asked.

Immediately, he knew it was a mistake. He had about three seconds to flinch before she’d crossed the interior to him and hit him as hard as she possibly could. The intention had clearly been to knock him unconscious, but he’d recoiled fast enough that she mostly struck the side of his jaw. He gasped, sure for a second it’d been broken. There was no time to recover in between the blows. He only shielded his skull as Johanna slammed the cleat into his side, over and over again, breathing heavy. She tore his arms away, gripping the collar’s chain just to slam his head back into the wall, pinning him there.

But Johanna looked so lost. All her anger was thick with confusion. Her eyes searched him, up and down, as if something in his body might tell her.

“How-“ she asked desperately. “Who-“

Paris shivered, retreating, hiding his head again. It hurt. His ribs were so tender he could’ve cried. She released the chain around his neck, staggering a few steps back.

“Don’t say his name again,” she warned.

Paris nodded.

~

“Are you mad at me?” Paris asked. He was stupid and chastened, both knees drawn up to his chest.

Johanna sighed, sitting up against the starboard wall of the ship. She tossed a tennis ball idly, only occasionally glancing at the autopilot to see they were still on course. She did not dignify him with a response. 

“Did you know him? Delta. One Zero Seven.” Paris asked quietly.

It felt like it’d been ages since he’d said his name aloud. The sound of it hovered in the air, seemed to echo in a way the other words had not. He still remembered the numerals that followed, though by the time he first learned them, they’d lost all their usefulness. But to her, those numbers must have meant something. It’d be the only way to distinguish them.

“As if I’d remember any of them.” Johanna rolled her eyes.

Paris quieted, tucking his face back down into his arms. He only peeked up at her as she stood up, moving to check up on the air filter. 

“Do you hate me?” he asked.

He was surprised when she didn’t laugh. She only sighed again, eyes flitted up to the ceiling as if she was considering it.

“I didn’t before. I think I’m starting to.” She decided.

“Is that why?” He looped one finger in the collar, tugging it.

“Nope.”

In return, she tapped one finger to his nose, booping it gently. He still flinched.

“That’s just business.”

~

It ate at him. He turned restlessly within the chains. There was nothing to do and only her for company. She was taking him to be killed, to hurt the whole time he died, to be mutilated and changed. All his future seemed an endless void. All he could focus on was the past.

“What was it like?” he asked. There will be no other opportunities to ask, no other ways to know. He wondered if anyone else who went to that school was even alive anymore. Delta wasn’t. Was Johanna alive, really? 

He looked at her and he could not tell. 

She stood up from the console, visibly irritated at the fact he was still taking. Or maybe she just didn’t like his choice in conversation topic. Either way, he’d pissed her off.

“You want to know what it was like?” She asked incredulously.

He sat up and nodded his head. For a second, she just looked tired. She undid the belt from around her waist.

“Hands out. Now.”

It wasn’t anything he hadn’t done before. He’d gotten his knuckles rapped millions of times, had the cane brought down against each part of his body. None of it ever helped. By the time he graduated, he knew it was more about anger than it ever was about correction. This was no different.

Except that all the previous times, he did not have a knife wound piercing straight through the flesh of his hand. A white bandage had been bound tight around it ever since he’d been rescued. It still held. She’d seen it, of course. She had to have known. She didn’t care. 

They must not have either.

Paris offered both hands without resistance, surprising himself. Would she have forced him to if he hadn’t? For some reason, he didn’t think so. If he wasn’t playing along, he thought, she might just give up.

He held both palms facing upward. It was what he was used to, what he assumed she wanted, and he was willing to turn them if it wasn’t.

The belt was folded over. He kept still.

It was worse than he thought it’d be. He gasped in shock and pain at the sting. He’d been comparing it to the wrong injuries, expecting the wrong kind of pain. The belt hurt his right hand about as badly as when it’d first been punctured, about as bad as an arrow through his fucking ribcage. His eyes watered immediately.

He still tried to be steady as the belt came down against his hands again. Again. Again. He resisted the automatic curling of his fingers in an effort to protect himself. It was really nothing. He’d had so much worse. He didn’t know why he was crying so badly. 

The belt swung again. He only pulled his hand back just to quickly wipe at his eyes. She got mad.

“Paris,” she hissed, exasperated, and he couldn’t remember her ever using his name before this. “I can make this a lot worse for you and you know it.”

“Sorry,” he muttered as he offered the hand back.

Again. Again. He lost track, letting his vision blur just the same as the count. All the nerves in his hand were beaten almost numb, stinging. He couldn’t keep the tremor out of them. 

Johanna grumbled in frustration, pulling the belt back to her side. She was fumbling with the end of it.

“…Are we done?” he asked weakly. 

The belt buckle hit him square in the face, drawing a pained gasp from him. He reeled to the side, barely catching himself. Blood dripped readily from the gash in his cheek. In shock, he moved two finger up to touch it. Wet. Warm. 

“You don’t fucking ask when it’s over.” She barked.

He kept his eyes trained on the ground, half-curled away from her. The impact had whipped his head to the side and he did not correct it. 

He heard her readjusting the belt. For a second, he really did think she was finished. He let himself be fooled twice.

The buckle struck him again in the shoulder. It produced much less of a reaction than the strike to the face did, but he still cried. It was worse when he couldn’t see it, but he knew better than to try and turn around. He twitched at each new impact.

“You don’t understand!” She yelled. It was infantile. And it was wrong. He did.

Then again, he doubted she was even talking to him.

The metal snapped at the bare skin of his arm, once again at his back. He shifted one shoulder up to shield his still-bleeding face and endured the hit for it. It was only then she seemed to tire. It didn’t matter. He was sobbing. Though he tried to do it quietly, there was so little he could focus on besides his own misery. The effort was futile. He hardly noticed whether she was there or not, whether the beating had even stopped.

He tucked himself further into the far wall, unable to stop crying or to even be silent about it. She did not speak to him again for the rest of the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~

thank you to @floral-comet-whump for getting me to canonize Johanna being from Beldam!!! that was always supposed to be the implication w her character but i wasnt sure about making it explicit until they had the idea of her being an experiment that beldam tried to kill and ended up BURYING ALIVE. that was too tasty to leave as subtext >:)

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @whump-queen

[autumnrory]

i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve

but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie

[tiredgeekgirl]

fellas it has been three months since the beach episode and thinking about neil and eva in any capacity still makes me ILL