#I am sure if she was awake she would probably stop me lol

[gaithe-guy]

Somebody stop me from opening Valheim and crafting Clan Aurvandill’s home base... I have an itch to create it all so other people can see it. Somebody tell me it’s a bad/stupid idea and it would be a waste of time, that no one would be interested anyways so my time and effort would be better used elsewhere...

[daemour]

Pairing: crown prince! Yeosang x f! maid! Reader

Genre: fluff, very light angst, royal au, E for Everyone

Warnings: None

Summary: When the Gods divined you to be the Crown Prince's future wife, you're not quite sure what to expect in your new life. But Crown Prince Yeosang tries to make the transition smooth.

Word count: 3180

-

Happy birthday @mingsolo <3 I really hope you enjoy this hehe it gave me a lot of grief and you should count your lucky stars I was running behind on the deadline because I absolutely would have yapped this into a 10k fic lol

happy happy birthday from applebees to you we wish you happy birthday so we can party too

and yes i know this is early but its almost 2 am for me and i want to go to bed and ik ill forgot about it if i put it in schedule

“Are you ready for the ceremony, your highness?” You adjust the collar of the high prince, smiling at him in the mirror. Although the royal family isn’t rude to their servants, you try not to make it a habit to speak with them unless spoken to. It’s just a safety precaution you stick to. But the prince sitting in front of you looks so terrified and you can’t help but feel sorry for him.

Every 100 years, the high priests will choose a commoner to marry into the royal family. Something about keeping the bloodline clean and relating to their subjects: you don’t quite remember. But this year, the high prince Yeosang was chosen for this honour. Before him, it was his great-grandmother, and now it’s him.

The prince jumps a little at the unexpected question, messing up the fabric of his cape and your hands automatically shift down to smooth it out again. “Uh…” his deep voice shakes just the slightest bit and he clears his throat. “It’s a great honour to be chosen for this ceremony and I’m sure the gods will choose the right spouse for me.”

His demeanour is still stiff but his hands have stopped shaking so you count that as a win. A knock sounds at the door and startles you and you take a few steps back as his personal guard enters the room. Choi Jongho is formidable, but kind. He always exchanges a smile and a few kind words with you, and today is no exception.

“Hello, Miss YN,” he greets you and you nod back, a small smile on your face. “Sorry to interrupt, but I must bring his highness to the hall. And you probably should go find your friends to watch the ceremony with.” You nod again and Yeosang stands.

“Thank you,” he says to you and you offer him another smile, unsure of how to take his gratitude before slipping out of the room, making your way through twisting halls and finally joining your friends at the very back of the room.

“How was he doing?” One of your fellow handmaidens, Haewon, leans over to whisper in your ear. “I know I would be nervous if I were him.”

You shrug, adjusting the shoulder of your hanbok. It’s a little too thick for the hot summer weather, but on such occasions, you can’t wear your usual dark clothing. “He seemed nervous for sure, but not out of it, which is good. Hopefully his future spouse will treat him well.”

Haewon hums, her attention turning back to the front of the room where the king is now starting his speech. You try to pay attention but your eyes slip shut and you lean against the pillar behind you. In the days leading up to the ceremony you were working hard so you feel like you’re allowed to get at least a little rest.

Haewon elbows you awake as the priests are coming up to the front. “Come on, at least pay attention to this part,” she pleads and you nod sleepily, forcing your tiredness to the back of your mind and focusing on the platform a few metres in front of you.

You can barely see anything over the heads of the audience, and can only catch a slight glimpse of Yeosang’s immaculate dark hair. The priests add nothing to the king’s speech, instead starting immediately chanting something in Old Korean as they pour a mixture of wine and purified water into a large basin.

A bright pure light emanates from the basin as the priests stick their hands in and join in humming a low, deep note that reverberates throughout the hall. The hall stays quiet as the highest priest dips his face into the bowl. The silence is almost unbearable and the whole room holds their breath when the priest comes back up, his hair dripping onto the marble floor.

He takes a deep breath and with one sentence, your whole world is shaken.

“The bride of Kang Yeosang will be the servant YN.”

Murmurs fill the hall and heads snap towards you. Your eyes widen as you look at Haewon then back at the priests, then back at Haewon. “Me?” you whisper to your friend but she has no response for you, just as shocked as you are. “How could it be me?”

A different silence settles over the room. Not one of anticipation and excitement, but one of silent judgement. You can feel hundreds of eyes on you, but you lock eyes with the most important man in the room—the high prince. His face is almost unreadable…almost. But there's a hint of unsurety, mirroring your own, and at least you can take comfort in knowing that he shares the same feelings as you do.

-

You can’t help but lie on your bed for just a few seconds more, staring up at the plain white ceiling you’ve slept under for years. You’ve packed all your possessions and they’re about to be transferred to your new quarters, ones you will share with Yeosang. But you have a certain fondness for this room and all the memories you have here.

A knock sounds on the door and you sigh to yourself before getting off your best and opening to door. “Hello, Miss YN,” Jongho stands before you with Haewon right behind him. “We’re here to help you bring your things to the Prince’s room. We figured it’d be best if it was someone you knew well so Haewon is here, and I’m just around to do the heavy lifting.”

His light tone eases your worry a little and you crack a smile back. “Come on in. It’s looking pretty sorry right now, but everything is in those bags. The one of the left is fragile so please be careful. The right is clothes so it’s a little heavier.”

“It’s so few belongings,” Jongho marvels. “I could take both bags in one trip.”

Both you and Haewon stare at him. “We can’t exactly afford too much with our salaries, especially if we have family at home.” While the two of you are paid a fair enough wage for a single lady, Haewon has her siblings at home she takes care of and you donate your leftover funds to the orphanage you were raised in. There wasn’t much you wanted to buy in all fairness. Pretty clothes and jewellery weren’t something you thought to buy, even if you did stop and look at them through the store windows when you had the chance to.

“Oh– sorry,” Jongho apologises, his brows furrowing the slightest bit, but Haewon waves his concern away with a quick smile.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m mostly just pulling your leg. Come on, let’s get little lady YN to her new bedroom.”

Your face burns at Haewon’s teasing tone and you quickly duck away, tucking your hair behind your ears. “Don’t–” you protest half-heartedly. “I’m still going to be YN. I’ll still hang out with you. And wingman you for–”

Before you can finish your retaliation, Haewon leaps forward and covers your mouth with her hand, glancing at Jongho before glaring at you. “Be quiet,” she hisses in your ear. “I’ll kill you in your sleep, never mind being the future princess.”

You laugh, pushing her head away. “Okay, I get it. My mouth is closed. Now let’s get going so I won’t throw up from nerves.”

With another bump to your shoulder, Haewon picks up the other bag. Before any other movement is made, you quickly run to grab the pillow off your bed. Jongho looks at you like you lost a few brain cells. “I…It’s comforting okay?” you defend, and before they can say anything else, you quickly move out of your room, Haewon and Jongho following close behind while laughing.

To be honest, and it’s not like you were hiding it before, you’re terrified of what your new life will lead to. It’s such a big shift from one lifestyle to another. What are you supposed to do? How are you supposed to interact with Prince Yeosang now?

And before you can bat an eye, you’re in front of the ornate door leading to the Crown Prince’s quarters. With a little hesitation, you knock on the door. As if he was waiting for you, the crown prince throws open the door, making eye contact with you for far too long before he finally steps aside. “Ah, hello,” he greets you with his usual low voice. “Uh. I’m not sure what to say.”

You stare at him awkwardly. You’re used to seeing him as a servant should, not as a future husband. “If it makes you feel better, I’m not quite sure myself,” you agree, offering a small smile that Yeosang returns.

“Stop dilly-dallying and go in the room, the bag’s heavy,” Haewon hisses in your ear and you jump at the feeling of her breath on your skin.

“Ah, sorry,” you whisper back before turning back to Yeosang, who looks vaguely amused. “Would you mind if I came in?”

Yeosang blinks slowly at you, a smile growing on his face. “Yeah, considering you will be staying here from now on, you can come in. Make yourself at home, I cleared out part of my closet for you.”

He steps back, letting Jongho and Haewon in as well, and leads you to a tall, intricately carved, wardrobe. You try not to wince when he throws it open, overwhelmed by the sheer size of it. He had cleared out half of his clothes and you almost feel…ashamed at the amount of clothes you have in your meagre bag.

“Ah, I won’t need this much space, though,” you frown, measuring the inside with your eyes. “I don’t have that many clothes with me.”

Yeosang chuckles, not unkindly. “YN, you will be getting different clothes than the ones you normally wear. Our seamstress will be around to measure you tomorrow afternoon.”

Right. You shouldn’t wear your shabby handmaiden clothes now that you’ll be marrying a crown prince. You nod, head already starting to hurt at the thought of all the new rules you’ll have to learn. “Okay.” You look around carefully. “Where will I be staying?”

There’s a long silence until Yeosang finally breaks it with a curious head tilt. “What do you mean? This is going to be your room now.”

“Ah, you misunderstand me. Where will I be sleeping?”

Another pause. “In…the bed? I’m not sure what you mean by a different bed?”

You blink. Jongho and Haewon exchange looks behind you. “Maybe we should let you two talk this out without us,” Haewon whispers, placing your bags on a nearby chair, Jongho quickly following suit before the two of them slip out of the room quietly.

“Are we not having different beds to sleep in? We’re not married yet.”

Understanding dawns in Yeosang’s eyes. “Oh. It’s tradition that divinely blessed couples share a bed from the moment the Gods select them. But we don’t have to. I don’t mind taking the couch for now.”

You shake your head. “No, no, you can stay in your bed. I’ll be more used to the couch, anyway. I don’t want to take your bed away from you.”

Yeosang frowns. “No, no, it’s not right. I couldn’t make you sleep on the uncomfortable couch on your first night here anyway. Please, let me do this.”

You carefully raise your gaze to meet his, filled with sincerity. You can tell he’s not saying it just to be nice, but he truly wants your first night to be comfortable. “I…I appreciate the kindness, your highness.”

“No, no, none of that. I’m no longer ‘your highness’, just call me Yeosang. We’re to be wed, it’s best to get in the habit now.”

A shiver runs through your spine at the thought of no longer using his title. It’ll take some time getting used to it, but his words are true. “Alright, you– Yeosang.” A strange silence settles over the two of you. It’s awkward but not unwelcome, almost comforting, even.

Before either of you can say another word, a gentle knock sounds on the door. “Yeosang, YN. It’s Queen Yuhwa. May I come in?”

“Ah, yes, mother.” Yeosang moves towards the door, opening it to reveal the queen regent in all her glory. Even dressed in a simple robe, her face still carries a grace to it you can only hope to emulate someday. “What brings you here?”

She smiles at the two of you. “It’s just lovely to see the two of you together. The priests have divined well—you’re very beautiful, YN. You’ll be a good match for Yeosang.”

You can’t keep the heat from flooding to your face at her compliment, and Queen Yuhwa chuckles, stepping forward and reaching forward to hold your face in her gentle hand. “Our seamstress will have to make sure to bring out the best features of your face.” She inspects you for a moment longer before releasing you from her hold and sighing. “That’s not what I came here for, however. After a long meeting, the priests and I have chosen the date for your wedding. It will take place in six months. We’ve decided to have separate dinners so the two of you can get to know each other in a more intimate setting.”

Her words make you flinch, but Yeosang remains unfazed except for a slight twitch of his fingers. “Thank you mother,” he says, his eyes warm when he looks at her. “I hope you and father have a lovely dinner.”

Yuhwa hums, reaching up to pat his cheek. “I’m sure we will, dear. I’ll see you two tomorrow for breakfast.”

And just as quickly as she entered the room, she left smoothly. Yeosang closes the door behind her, laughing softly under his breath before turning to you, a soft smile on his face. “Sorry about her, she can be a bit odd sometimes. What would you like for dinner?”

You’re still somewhat in awe at seeing Queen Yuhwa so close—she only allows a select few handmaidens to attend to her. “Uh– whatever is fine. I’m not picky.” You shake your head, bringing your mind back to the present. “I hope you don’t mind if I unpack my belongings now?”

Yeosang waves you ahead. “Go on. I’ll just head out to let the servants know. Make yourself comfortable. The bath is also open if you’d like.”

You nod, turning back to your bags as Yeosang slips out of his quarters. It doesn’t take long for you to organise all your belongings, and you place your pillow on the silken sheets of his bed, slightly embarrassed at the obvious difference in quality. Your life wasn’t hard, nor was your servant lifestyle cheap, but you weren’t given silken sheets.

After a pause, you can’t help but to reach out and let your hands brush against the sheets, marvelling at how soft and smooth they lay. You look around carefully, and when Yeosang shows no signs of coming back in the next five seconds, you quickly let yourself drop into the sheets, closing your eyes and breathing in the smell of lavender blossoms.

You feel yourself relaxing far too much and you quickly stand, ruffling through your side of the closet to find your nicest dress, bringing it to the bathroom so you can clean yourself of any dust you may have lingering before looking a little more presentable for Yeosang.

As you slip into your dress, you can hear Yeosang return, the telltale sound of plates being set. “Are you decent?” you can hear him call out, and you nod before remembering he can’t see you.

“Ah– yes I am, your highness. Ah, Yeosang,” you correct yourself, and you can hear chuckles from behind the door before it opens to reveal Yeosang clutching something in his hand.

He gingerly sets it on the counter to reveal a small bottle of perfume. “I had this made when I was first told I was chosen to have a divined partner. It’s customary for the royal side to gift their future spouse with their first expensive perfume.”

His voice grows smaller with each word, but you don’t even know if you can speak without crying. It’s such a small gesture, one that’s premeditated, but it still makes your heart flutter. “Thank you, Yeosang.” You feel like there’s no way you could ever thank him properly to show your gratitude, but he just smiles even brighter.

“Come, let’s eat.”

-

After a quiet but calm dinner, you’re laying in the softest bed you’ve ever used in your life. Yeosang’s soft breaths can be heard across the room but you’re still wide awake. The anxiety of your life flipping completely has finally hit you and you’re far too aware of yourself right now.

You’re starting to regret not taking Yeosang’s offer of sharing a bed—having another’s presence near you would be immensely comforting. When you had first moved to the palace for your new life, Haewon had shared a room with you until you were comfortable enough to start sleeping on your own. You roll over in the sheets once more, shoving your face in your pillow and trying to pretend you’re back in your own room. It only serves to make your nerves worse and you can feel tears starting to sting at your eyes.

“Are you okay?” A low voice startles you and you whirl around to see a Yeosang-shaped shadow standing by your side, hand outreached. “I heard you tossing and turning and– are you crying?”

You open your mouth, but all that comes out is a whimper and you quickly bring your hands up to cover your face. There’s the slightest hesitation before Yeosang’s hand comes down to rest on your head and he starts slowly stroking your hair. He’s unsure of himself, but it’s comforting nonetheless and your cries quieten until there’s barely a hiccup.

“...I’m sorry,” you sigh after your chest has stopped heaving. “I don’t know what’s come over me.”

Yeosang hums, his hand stilling on your hair. “Don’t be sorry,” he murmurs. “I understand. It’s a scary change. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

You hesitate before you say it, and Yeosang almost turns away to go back to the couch when you reach out and grab hold of his sleep-shirt’s sleeve. “Will you stay here with me? It helps if someone is near me.”

This time, Yeosang does not wait a second before making his way to the other side of the bed, crawling in and sliding closer to lay almost close enough for his shoulder to press against yours. You can feel his body heat radiating off of him and it’s enough to make your body relax already.

Carefully, slowly, you reach out your hand until it touches his, and he quickly envelops your palm with his own, bringing it up to his face to press a kiss to it. “Good night, YN.”

“Good night, Yeosang.”

[reasonsmandy]

You matter to me

Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader

✧.* requested by @itzajeanspears — Hi!!! Love your writing so much!! Not sure if you’re still doing requests lol, butttt I have a really specific one so if you’d be able to do this I’d like actually die omg. Okay so I’m a fashion student from LA and I was thinking, the reader is like basically siblings with billy and Graham, (her dad and their mom started dating when they were kids so they were practically raised together) but she’s closest with Eddie in particular. They’re best friends. They’ve basically been attached at the hip since they were kids. They’re both secretly harboring feelings for each other and everyone knows it but themselves. She’s been there for them since the band started, like Camilla, making them outfits for gigs and stuff. and Eddie even takes her to prom when her date ends up being a jerk to her. Butttt the reader ends up moving to LA to go to fashion school (maybe eventually she can be their costume designer for the aurora tour 🙏) and Eddie slowly stops talking to her god knows why. Fast forward- The band moves out to LA and they stay with her until they’re stable enough to be out on their own. The tension is super high between her and Eddie and EVERYONE notices. Super Angsty. Ends in fluff and love confessions 🫶 maybe angry billy lol. AGAIN THANK YOU!!! I know that was super complicated. YOUR WRITING AND EDITS ARE AMAZINGGGG !!

✧.* you're reading part two, here's the part one — A letter?

✧.* summary — Eddie was waiting for your response, and when it never came... A wall was built between you.

✧.* warnings — none.

✧.* word count — 3.5k

✧.* 🎸 — Eddie's masterlist

✧.* mandy's notes — I know it took me forever!!! I'm so sorry, please enjoy! And let me know your thoughts about it :)

I have no idea how to start this, my head has been a mess since our last conversation. I'm sorry for the way I left, I should've been more polite involving all we've been through in the last couple of months. I confess that I don't understand why you thought I couldn't support you in this situation, I've seen you dreaming about this day since I was ten years old, where we chatted about school and unattainable plans for the future… Seeing you achieve everything you dreamed of is like being hit by a ray of sunshine, I am deeply proud of you.

I wish you all the best on this new journey in your life, you are great and your talent is not left behind! Know that you wouldn't be there if it weren't for all your extraordinary talent. There is something in everything you do that exudes originality and no one can take that away or dispute it from you.

I decided to respect your choice and not go to see you on the day of your departure, I confess that this is demanding a lot from me, but I do everything to see you well. I hope you have a great trip and a great life there too.

I don't want to lie to you, I really hope you write me back, I have a huge hope that you'll give me another chance and we can work things out... I'll understand if you don't want that, I just want you to keep in mind that I love you. Fly towards your dream, and when you miss home, maybe my words will warm your heart.

Yours, Eddie Roundtree.

The bassist seals the letter with trembling fingers, he knew you would leave tomorrow and he still had his doubts about what he was going to do.He wanted to come see you before the match, kiss you gently, hug you as if you were going to escape at any moment... But he couldn't, if that was your choice he would respect that.

He knocks on the Dunne house three times, his hands trembling as he waited impatiently with the letter in hand.

"Eddie? What are you doing here so early my dear?" Mrs Dunne's sweet voice asks, she was quiet, probably because she was the only one awake in the house.

"I— I came to give this to Y/N." He extends the paper to her, confused, the older girl takes the object.

"Do you want to come in?" She asks, opening the door for him.

"No no, thank you." He seemed nervous, afraid that you would show up at any moment. "I really just came to leave this"

The madness was crazy the morning you were going to leave, you waited in secret for Eddie, a hope that he would appear was growing in you even though you wanted to kill it. Everyone else had made a point of saying goodbye, even Warren had stopped by to leave you some chocolate for the flight, but nothing from your boyfriend.

That's what you were, right? After all, there was no ending, not formally in so many words... Anxiety made you fear that when he left that had been your final point.

You open your arms to hug your considerate mother, Mrs. Dunne had been very present to you since she came into your life and saying goodbye was harder than you thought.

"I'll miss you so much." Her choked voice says, and you hold her closer.

"Oh honey, I'll miss you too." She answers, still holding you. "Anytime you need us, you just have to call. You have a family here."

At this point you were already in tears, and you let the hug go to wipe them away.

"Look." She starts to say, opening her bag to hand you something. "Eddie asked me to give you this."

Your eyes widen, you take the letter in your hands and leave for your new life.

…

You open the drawer of the nightstand next to your bed and return the letter to the place it always rests still not being able to open it, a sigh leaves you as you relive the night you had just had. Now that you were in the same city everything was more vivid, it was like living your teenage years again and it was frustrating. Of course you missed your friends and your brothers, but feeling Eddie's look at the back of your head was a huge distraction that kept increasing many questions in the same.

Eddie let the air out of his lungs as his body collapsed onto the bed he had fought for hours with Warren for, He lights a cigarette while staring at the ceiling and gradually sees the smoke draw your face, He hated how all the feelings he had put so much effort into hiding returned like the tide flooding over him, it was frustrating how you could make his heart race in a way no drug could ever manege to.

He knew that maybe all he had to do was just get over it, and that's all he was trying to do since you left Pittsburgh and him. Eddie was never the kind to get attached to relationships easily, he was used to having one night stands or just casual dating, so when his heart was captured by your gaze and the funny feeling of falling in love... He didn't know what to do.

The cigarette had come to an end and sleep had not even threatened to arrive, Roundtree sits on the bed regretting it before even finishing what he planned to do. He might not have talked to you during the party, but he was a good listener, something he didn't know if it was a blessing or curse until then.

He puts his leather jacket over the blouse he had worn to the party he attended hours ago, also grabbing some cigarettes before going down the stairs of the new house towards the keys to Rojas' van. He considers going to the drummer's room to tell him that he had borrowed the vehicle, but settles for writing a note in letters large enough for him to notice while he looks for it.

He let in his breath once again, shaking his head as he starts the van and heads towards what haunts his mind.

...

The three rings on the door make you lazily get out of bed, your arms go to the blouse thrown on the table before answering.

"Eddie?" You say between shock and yawn, your hands fix your hair automatically.

He avoids your gaze, looking directly at the ground as if he is very anxious. You wait for an answer, but nothing comes out of his mouth, you take a step forward taking his hand and leading him inside.

"Is everything okay?" You ask, after you both sit at the table in your living room.

"I don't know." He lets it out, wondering if he should actually do what he had planned. "I wanted to talk to you about everything."

"In the middle of the night?" You let out a weak laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"I couldn't sleep, sorry I woke you up." He looked embarrassed, but it was as if being there was more comfortable than anything he had been doing before knocking on the door.

"We can talk, no problem.”

"With us moving here I imagine we'll see each other more often than we have over the years." He looks you in the eyes, the red of the cigarette in them. "And I don't want there to be a fight between us, I don't want there to be things that aren't clear."

You let the air out, trying to look as if you were mature for this situation. "What do you mean by that?"

"Even with our history, is everything ok between us?" He wanted to tell you that the answer was no, that he hadn't forgotten you, but it stayed in his throat just like the growing knot.

"For me yes, but for you I'm not sure." You are honest, letting the frustration go with your words. "You were the one who ignored me the whole party, I felt seventeen again."

"You don't need to be sarcastic." He says rolling his eyes.

"Since when do you call the truth sarcasm?" He arches his eyebrows at your response, you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. "What I meant is that I'm over it, I just don't know if you are."

"You know what..." He gets up, adjusting his jacket on himself. "I think we've cleared that up, let's just be polite to each other and that's it. I see you around."

"You're kidding right?" A mocking laugh is let out by you, disbelief shines through. "Is that what you consider resolution?”

"I'll see you around." He says, you get ready to close the door. "Let's just keep things between us, like before."

Your eyes roll back and you slam the door shut, anger and confusion rising in your chest. How can he just show up in the middle of the night to turn your life around like that? You only feel the tears when they fall on your arm, was it frustration? You preferred to believe so, but seeing him treat you with so much indifference was painful.

Still angry, you go to the nightstands and open the drawer to take the letter in hand. Your vision blurred with emotions growing, you tear it apart and as soon as the first cut is made the rest are just a trigger for the pieces on the floor. You cry, regretting it and at the same time wanting to disappear... It hadn't even been twenty four hours since he had returned to your life and everything was chaos.

You collect the pieces and place them inside the box you found, trying your best not to glue the pieces together to read something that could be your answer.

...

You had done a good job of trying to forget about Eddie Roundtree, you had gone out with a few people and avoided running into him as much as possible when you met the band. But that became impossible when his brother went to rehab and his niece was born.

You moved into their house to help with the baby, Camila had never been so vulnerable and you couldn't feel more angry at Billy than in those first few months. Of course, you knew he wasn't one hundred percent to blame, addiction wasn't easy and it made you very sad to know he was like this.

Your move wasn't complete, you slept there some nights and other nights you went back to your house or studio to create some pieces of clothing. It was hard to face Eddie every day, but you two made a point of avoiding each other as much as possible.

It was hard to remember why you didn't like Eddie much when he was being so kind every day by your side, you start to remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. He was kind, funny, he helped everyone, but he was still the one that left you. And that was certainly the impasse for you to sympathize with him once again.

Night fell on the horizon as you leaned over the counter, a cigarette between your lips as you thought about everything at the same time.

"I see you still like the sunset, sunshine." The nickname makes your spine shiver, you don't turn around, you just let him get closer to you. "It always reminds me of you."

The chill comes to your belly, you turn away in disbelief. "What are you doing?"

He rolls his eyes, “Trying to get along with you, is it that hard?"

You let out a sigh, avoiding his eyes. "You want us to be friends?"

"What's the harm on that?" he asks, resting himself.

You shrug, trying your best not to ask every single question that haunted you over the years.

"You made yourself pretty clear that day in my place." That's all you say.

"Why are you acting like I'm a bad guy?" He's confused, upset in his eyes.

"You can't just keep doing this to me, appearing in my life and just leaving me!" You let out your frustrations, he looks at you without understanding. His gaze fixed on your eyes was overwhelming.

"What do you mean?" His voice was trembling, he took a deep breath. "Look, I know I acted childish that night, I shouldn't have just popped at your place and said those things. But I mean what I'm doing right now, I made one mistake... You're really going to blame me for the rest of my life?"

"One mistake?" You tried your best to hold back your urge to cry. "Look Eddie, it's been a long time. I understand if you forgot everything we've been through, I don't want to..."

"You're acting like I didn't care for you. Like I don't care." His voice was calm, it left you disconcerted.

"How can you say that you care for me if you haven't even reached for me all these years?" You turn to face the sky, trying to keep calm.

"I was respecting you!" He avoided coming closer, even though he wanted to take your hand in his. "I told you that! I—...

He stops when he sees your confused eyes, concern takes over his.

"You didn't read the letter, did you?"

You swallow hard, he waits for your answer but you open your mouth and close it without saying anything.

"Did you receive it?" He asks, you nod your head. "I don't understand..."

"I never read it." You confess, looking at your feet.

"Why?" He felt exposed, hurt.

You don't answer, he seems devastated.

"Fuck." He says passing his hands through his hair. "I can't believe this."

He left, leaving you alone with the sunset.

You made a point of coming home that day, there was no way you wouldn't go back to read that letter, your heart was aching with all the emotions that came up this afternoon. You were overwhelmed and feeling guilty, but at the same time confused... You needed answers.

When you managed to put the pieces together it was difficult to tell what was there, but your body softened and your heart tightened. There was your answer.

...

Daisy Jones was responsible for the band's growth after Billy's relapse, 'Honeycomb' was a masterpiece and the whole world knew it when those chords sounded on the radio. You were happy and proud for all of them, it was great to see them all achieving a dream that you followed from the beginning.

You were really excited to go on tour with them, You had already made many different pieces and I'm really looking forward to seeing them using what you created for them from the beginning. Today was the day of the first show, if you weren't even going to be on stage, you were nervous, you couldn't imagine how they were.

You couldn't contain the tears of emotion when you saw them there, the fans screaming excitedly and a long-time dream coming true, it was an amazing feeling and you were so happy to be part of this somehow.

It wasn't easy to deal with the information about the last situation you had with Eddie, of course, Billy had returned and you had spent less time together but that whole scene never left your mind. You tried to expel the flashes as much as possible while pretending to listen to what Camila was saying.

"Swetie, are you paying attention to me?" She says between a laugh, the music from the celebration party made it hard to hear her.

"Aham." You lie, watching Eddie talk to Warren and another girl you didn't know a few steps away. Camila follows your gaze, and turns with an arched eyebrow.

"What's going on?" She asks, her voice softly.

"I feel like I'll never be able to leave what we had behind me." You felt the words leave your mouth with honesty for the first time in a while.

"Have you told him that?" She asks, looking between you and him.

"I'm pretty sure he hates me, so..." You let out a breath, trying to hold back your tears.

"Eddie could never hate you Y/N."

"How can you be so sure?" You take a sip of your beer, avoiding looking at the distant group.

"Oh honey, if you only knew how many times he told me how he felt... How many songs I heard—

"Songs?" You cut her off, holding her arm. "He wrote songs about me?"

"Many." She responds, stroking his hand with a motherly affection. "You should talk to him."

You gather all your strength to follow her advice, and little by little you get closer to them. Warren is the first to notice you, waving in a comical way for you to come closer, Eddie avoids your eyes, the girl greets you with a small smile.

"Hey guys, the show was amazing." They smile at your congratulations. "I'm really proud of you guys."

"Thank you sunshine." Eddie says, almost regretting using the nickname. "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay." You say under your breath. "Look, can we talk alone for a second?"

"Sure." He turns to Rojas and the curly-haired woman. "I'll be right back."

Automatically you take his hand and guide him to a more private place, it's a few seconds of silence before you know how to start. He doesn't rush you, he just waits for you to feel good to begin with what you had planned.

"I read your letter." That's all you can say, he swallows hard. "I'm sorry it took me so long..."

"It's okay, it doesn't matter anymore." He tries to say, but you cut him off.

"It does! It matters and you know it." Tears manage to fill your eyes. "We matter for each other, you matter to me... And I don't know about you, and I know it's probably too late but I can't forget you."

He takes a step closer to you, never taking his eyes off of you. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you." A choked laugh comes out of you, it was impossible to contain it all longer.

"Fuck." He holds your face in his hands, touching your foreheads together. "Please, don't mess with me." He jokes.

"I'm done building this wall between us." Her voice was honest, her eyes never stopped staring into his. "I just want to be with you."

He kisses you, a kiss you've missed for years, a connection of souls, an inexplicable feeling. His hands cupped your cheeks and caressed your skin, you pulled him close to feel him after so long. He would always be your point of comfort.

"I love you too." He whispers against your lips, your eyes closed. "I love you so fucking much."

"I know it took a while but I kind of want to stay with you." You joke, he lets out a laugh.

"We can tell our children that we've been dating all this time, they don't need to know about this hiatus" He says while caressing your hair.

"Children?" Rojas' voice made you jump in fright. "Damn, you guys are emotional, huh?"

...

Hi, I hope you enjoyed it... If you wanted to ask for something my requests are open, and if you want to ask and don't have any ideas check out my prompt list :) xoxo

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[cyncerity]

First story of the Hiraeth AU!! i go back to uni tomorrow so i wanted to get one more story out before then lol

no tw!! just a short intro story (i’ll get into other characters and worldbuilding later, this au is more for funny sitcom scenarios than angst or lore. feel free to send asks!)

Ranboo did not remember it being this god damn cold when he went to bed. Sure he had cracked the window a little bit for some fresh air, but in the few hours he’d been asleep, a blizzard must have hit. He quickly got out of bed and slammed the window shut, still barely awake. Enderchest meowed at him, large yellow eyes glowing in the darkness of his dorm room. Poor cat, the cold must’ve woken her up, too. He shuffled over to her bed and pet her, receiving happy purrs as she belatedly fell back asleep. She’d been up half the night calming Ranboo down after a particularly stressful day, so she deserved good rest as much as he did. Ranboo checked the clock. 4:17 am. Great.

He sat back on his bed, flopping onto his back with a tired groan. He laid his head against the pillow, trying to calm his thoughts enough to fall asleep. He laid and counted forwards to a hundred, then backwards, then forwards again for good measure for who knows how long until-

he heard something shuffle.

It was quiet, he hadn’t have heard it if he was fully asleep. So he waited a little while longer…until he heard more shuffling. Great. Fucking awesome, was there a rat in his dorm room? Did his dorm room have an infestation? Fantastic. Well, he was already awake, might as well do something about it. Maybe he could catch it for Aimsey, they would love to see a wild rat, there was a reason they were studying animal sciences.

Ranboo waited a little longer, closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep. He heard the shuffling move around a bit more before moving closer and closer to his bed. He heard a quiet scratching, and then all of a sudden he heard something climb onto his bedside table. He felt around until he found something to catch it with; a blanket that sat folded squarely near his hand. Perfect. Couldn’t be easier.

Ranboo sprung, throwing the blanket over the desk, sweeping up not only the rat but his alarm clock and charging phone. But he caught the rat, that he was sure of. The creature was clawing and screaming in the blanket he was holding, so it probably couldn’t stay in there. Ranboo walked to Enderchest’s carrier in the dim moonlight as he grabbed the moving thing from outside the blanket, dropping his other items to the floor before throwing the creature into the carrier and zipping it shut. It could stay in there until morning before he could get it to Aimsey.

The thing eventually stopped screaming when it wasn’t being held anymore. In the darkness of the room, Ranboo vaguely saw a tail exit the blanket and pointed ears stick out another end. Great, a rat, he was right. He turned back to go to bed, tired of being awake for so long until-

“Hey!!” a higher voice rang out and Ranboo whipped around. Nothing. No one. He could have sworn it sounded so close. Maybe he was just hallucinating from lack of sleep. Professor Sneeg had been assigning more work and Ranboo had been losing sleep to not fall behind, but-

“Hey, wait!” There it was again. “…hello?” Ranboo whispered, unsure if he was actually hearing someone or if it was all in his head. “Hey dickhead! Let me out!” “…what?” Ranboo questioned, looking around. “Down here, dumbass.” Ranboo looked down, only spotting the carrier on the ground. “No, no..” he muttered to himself, sighing. “The rat’s not talking to me, i’ve finally lost it.” “Who are you calling a rat?!” The thing, apparently not a rat, shouted. Looking closer, Ranboo could see eerily human paws (hands?) pressed against the front mesh of the carrier. “…No fucking way.”

Ranboo kneeled down, picking up his discarded phone and looking closer at the carrier. He saw a silhouette of something in the carrier, eyes reflecting back and looking back at him. He took a deep breath and turned his phone flashlight on.

Ranboo had to slap a hand over his mouth to keep from yelling. Whatever was in that carrier was not a rat, not by a long shot. “Try not to freak out.” The thing said a little sarcastically, and oh god, it really can talk. Ranboo fell backwards, scooting away from it. “Wh..what the fuck??” He whispered. God knows the last thing he needs on top of this is a noise complaint. “Can you let me out?” The thing asked again, looking annoyed with its vaguely humanoid face. The top half of its face was covered in blonde fur with darker fur under its eyes and on its nose, somewhat reminiscent of a raccoon. Its clawed hands were fur covered, and Ranboo noticed a disproportionately long tail coiled on the ground near its animalistic feet. It’s eyes were pure black, and behind long rounded ears he could see a long puckered scar and shorter fur on the back of it’s head, like it had been shaved down a while before. But that wasn’t even the weirdest thing. The weirdest thing was that it was clothed. It was wearing layers of dirty, sewn rags and bandages with stitches too little to be done by human hands. It had made itself clothes. Plus, the way this thing carried itself? The way it moved and spoke? It was undeniably, eerily, human.

“What the fuck are you??” “That’s for me to know and you to not find out. Let me go.” “No.” Ranboo said, inching back closer to get a better look at it. “The fuck you mean no?! You can’t trap me here!!” It responded, getting louder in its frustration. Ranboo hurriedly shushed it, the creature’s ears perking and head quirking in confusion. “Quiet! Why are you even in my dorm room?” “Have you seen what it’s like outside? I don’t have the supplies to survive a storm like that. Your room just happened to be the easiest to break into.“ “So you break into my dorm and complain about getting caught?” Ranboo asked, and the creature slumped in defeat. “This has never really happened before. I’m normally sneaky enough that I’ve never even spoken to someone else.” “You mean a human?” “Uh, yeah…definitely. And i’ve certainly never been caught, either.” The creature said, a smug grin forming on its face. “You said to be quiet, huh? How about if you don’t let me out, I scream so loud it’ll wake up everyone in this whole building.” “Try it and i’m throwing the cat carrier outside.” The creature’s grin fell immediately.

“Aw, c’mon man! I told you, I don’t have anywhere else to even go! It’s not like i’m leaving here in a blizzard!” “If you’re not leaving, then I’d like to know where you are. I don’t want you roaming my dorm while i’m asleep.” Ranboo said with a sense of finality as he stood up and walked back to his bed. He checked his phone. Almost 5 am. Only about 6 hours till his next class. Maybe he could skip, he’s sure Charlie would understand. “Wh- how am I even supposed to sleep in here?!” he heard the creature shout, despite the fact that he could no longer see it from his bed. “Shush. You have a blanket.” He could practically see the creatures disgruntled look as he heard it mutter curses to itself before finally using the blanket that had been used to capture it as a makeshift bed.

Maybe it was the exhaustion making Ranboo take all of this far too well, but Ranboo honestly couldn’t care more about this weird new little species at the moment. He just needed the sleep. And who knows, maybe he’d wake up and the cat carrier would be empty and he’d know he was crazy. He didn’t care right now. Though, right now he knew it was real, and he felt a little bad that he was keeping a clearly sapient creature in a cat carrier. He also felt a little bad that he was just calling it ‘the creature.’ “My names Ranboo, by the way. Uh, i’m a guy but i also use they sometimes, i guess?” He introduced awkwardly. There was silence on the other end for a few seconds, before it answered. “Tommy.” it said, sounding resigned. “My names Tommy, I don’t really know but I guess i’m a guy cause. Why not.” Ranboo couldn’t help but laugh slightly at that. “It’s nice to meet you, Tommy. Sorry i threw you in a cat carrier.” It, or he, Ranboo supposed, laughed in response. “Well, let me out tomorrow and we’ll see if I forgive you.” “I can do that. Good night, Tommy.” “Night, Ranboo.”

Yeah, Ranboo thought as he fell asleep, If Tommy really isn’t a hallucination, tomorrow is gonna be weird.

[theelderhazelnut]

Baldur’s Gate 3

Warning: none

Pairings: Ombra x Astarion

Characters: Ombra (my oc), Astarion, Gale

Summary: Ombra, a metal bender, is merely tolerating her new companions because she has other plans in her mind. One of these people disgust her to the core, but her depressed soul eventually find him “lovely”. Her busy, calculated mind can finally rest for one night. But does this vampire deserve her love truly?

Author’s note: Yay my first fic for BG3! I may post more drabbles like this untill I start posting the whole story of Ombra! I really love how these two work out together. Extroverted, charming boyfriend x introverted, also charming girlfriend.

Taglist: @vivilovespink @scentedcandleibex @darialovesstuff @confidentandgood @spacestephh @cyberneticsanguinaire @inafieldofdaisies @carlosoliveiraa @shegetsburned @bloody-arty-myths @zoetheneko @hi-thisiszira @admin-pipes @mitsuko-saito @malewifefirestar @krysta-cross @huepazu @cassietrn @breakfwest @nightbloodbix @middlechildwhoescapedthebasement @ninibear3000 @cyb3r-v4l @sinclxirx @gavincruikshanksexhusband @voidika @orbitinytheworld (writing taglist is here to be added/removed)

Out there around the camp, the fire was burning in my death; the death of my soul actually. The thick fabric of my tent was strong enough to shelter me for a while until I get rid of my stupid “companions”. Astarion, however, was the most stupid of them all.

I pushed away the fabric slightly to peeked at his tent which was a few meters away from mine. The gentle light of a lantern dimly lit his private place. He was awake; probably reading or taking notes. His voice rang in my ear.

“Even your spirit is of iron. I like that.”

I would be in a much more peaceful state of mind if he would shut his mouth for five minutes. But the more I explored in my heart, the more I realized that I would miss hearing his voice, his rich British accent, and the way his crimson eyes flamed with naughtiness.

I am always direct with my emotions. I either love someone to death, or I don’t even flinch if they are tortured in front of me. But my mind was beginning to be confused about him. At first, I loathed him just like how I felt about everybody else around me. He was no different. He was just a regular talkative, narcissistic, immature person who believed each and every one of his opinions were valuable.

But now, I couldn’t forget about the way his pale eyebrows rested, and his smile became true when he witnessed my monotone tone become a bit harsher when I was lol easily annoyed by others. When I pushed them away, and gave structres for our next move with a permanent glare on my face. And when I don’t seem to be bothered by the death of our companions.

If my calculations weren’t bteraying me, I would say that Astarion understood me, deeply. His guesses were seemingly right about the real person I was beneath these twenty layers of defense. This real person was as harsh as my outer facade, just even weirder.

I heard him stepping out of his tent, and I immediately closed the fabric door.

My heart raced in my chest.

I listened closely. His footsteps were approaching untill they stopped near the fire place.

“If it wasn’t for her analysis skills, I would not hesitate to throw her out of our way.” Gale whispered.

My lips curved donwards into a smirk.

“We owe her all this information we have gained untill now. Also, her presense is quite an entertainment for me.”

“Your opinion about her seems to be altering, Astarion.”

I didn’t hear him expressing anything as a response, istead he walked towards my tent. Quickly but silently, I crawled to my sheets, pretending to be asleep. A few moments passed after what seemed to be hours, untill I felt him sitting beside me. He didn’t say a single word, but his gaze weighed heavy on my figure.

“Are you asleep?” He murmured softly.

“…no… .” I replied with my eyes closed.

“So, may I?”

I opened my eyes to make sure he was not about to kiss me. Astarion gestured to my side.

“You may.” I crossed my arms, watching him getting comfortable next to me. He lied down on his side, and rested his head on his palm to hold it up.

“I couldn’t sleep either.” Slowly, he reached out his hand towards my face, and once he was not rejected, he shoved a wavy strand behind my ear. I wanted to grab his hand and keep it there, telling him how much I enjoyed this little act of affection. But instead I hid behind my stone face and kept glaring at him.

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, I was thinking about some certain things.” His voice trailed off as his eyes roamed down my body.

I kept looking at him, silently seeking explanation.

“Can I ask you something?” His grin faded away “Would you please don’t abandon us?” The blue cloud of sadness shadowed over his usually sunny gaze.

I raised my eyebrows in concern. “Who said I’m going to leave?”

“I am well aware that you are only tolerating this…” He searched for the right word. “…this companionship. I see that you are constantly looking forward to the tiniest chance to separate your way.” He put his hand on my shoulder.

“Stay with me, Atoosa. Please.”

My heart melted once Astarion called me by my real name instead of “Ombra”; a nickname so widely used by people that it had almost replaced the real one. It was just a simple Persian name untill he said it, and it was the most soothing lullaby.

And he just begged me to stay by his side not because he needed my iron bending powers and strategic mind, but because he’d miss me. Myself.

I frowned. “Why do you care?”

His eyes widened in shock. “We-well I am very sorry that I have found beauty in you! In your terrifying manners! In the way you don’t care about anything but your own goals! I am very sorry that I love you!”

My heart forgot to beat for a second. I did not trust my own ears. Astarion knew very well how to get what he wants by mere words. He knew how to fold those words in golden paper and sell it to you.

“Not all of your actions agree with that, Astarion. I’m not here to play your game.”

Suddenly, a large hand grabbed my jaw firmly, and forced me to look at him straight into the eyes. They were burning with anger and desperation.

“How many more days do I have to claw at any chances to save you from danger? How much more do I have to watch you from afar? How many nights do I have to stay wide awake horrified that you might leave us tomorrow? We two resemble more than you think.” Astarion closed his eyes and sighed deeply, loosening his grip around my jaw. “My apologies, darling.” He kissed where his fingers were pressed to although I did not feel any pain.

I leaned in and attached my lips to his. They were soft and cold. My heart beat blasted in my head as he kissed me back. The warmth of his mouth dropped on the dry skin of mine. Perhaps this time it was better to trust my heart, and let it rule over my exhausted brain. He was the angel to sew the bloodied feathers of my broken wings. He was the one on whose shoulders I could lean my head and sigh all my pain out without scaring him away.

I loved him.

“How can I just forget about you and run off?” I whispered.

Astarion chuckled, magnetising even more blood to my cheeks. “Ah, I knew you had a heart somewhere deep in your chest.”

I smiled. Astarion was the ray of sunshine through the thick clouds gaurding my heart.

All of a sudden, life was saturated with colors. I found joy in it.

For the first time in a long while, Astarion reminded me what happiness felt like.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Hi Lofty!

Fellow Healthcare worker here, I think I remember you saying you work nights? I'm a dayshifter that will be transitioning to overnights in a month, and am both excited and scared since this will be something new not just for me but for my whole department.

I was curious, did you specifically choose nights, and how do you like it compared to days? I would think nights would be quieter, but I also know to expect the unexpected, and things can go from dead to hectic in an instant.

Also, do you have any advice for going to an overnight schedule? I'm sure my sleep and eating habits will be messed up for the first few weeks until I get into a routine, are there any other challenges you think I should expect?

Sorry to talk work, I know you probably come here to get away from that, but I don't really have anyone else to talk to and felt you are a safe person to talk to.

Anyway, have a good day/night/whenever you happen to be awake! (I am well aware our schedules can be very wacky)

Hello! :D

I did in fact specifically choose nights. On my unit you have the option to do just nights or to rotate, and you can request to go on a waiting list to work only day shift. I prefer nights, but it’s a mixed bag to be perfectly honest. (This got long so I’m putting everything under the cut)

What I like about nights is that there are fewer people (there aren’t eight thousand teams rounding through the room who never introduce themselves to me and come and go without telling me a darn thing, or they ask me a million questions), visitor restrictions apply (I love family coming to see the patient… just don’t love having to entertain them or be interrogated by them while I’m trying to do stuff lol), the coworkers are much chiller it’s a very different vibe between day workers and night workers, and no management.

What I don’t like about nights is essentially not work related - it freaking kills your life outside of work. Let’s say you work three nights in a row. When you get off it’s the morning of the next day, and you can either make yourself stay up and be a zombie but awake to enjoy that day off, or you sleep the entire day, which wastes a day off, and then you’re still nocturnal for your remaining time off, which makes doing normal people things difficult. It can strain your mental health, especially with lack of sunlight, so you just have to find a way to handle it that works best for you.

I will say, there is one more thing that I don’t like about nights: many providers feel like nights are just “status quo time,” in other words, don’t do any interventions to rock the boat. I’ve fought and argued with doctors multiple times for patients who are showing warning signs of decompensating only to be ignored because they don’t want to do anything drastic on night shift. Had it happen pretty recently and just about wanted to punch an intensivist (I had told the resident that we needed to temporize the patient’s K because it was 5.5, and given his AKI and low UO we should consider options like diuresing or even CRRT and since the resident was brand new she listened, but the intensivist later was like “eh you didn’t need to do that” and wouldn’t do anything about the pt’s nonexistent urine output and ATJEIWOAJFDKSALJFEIWO I do not like that man)

Advice for going to night shift! I’ll make it bullet points so I stop having these giant paragraphs:

When possible, try to cluster shifts together. That way you’re not constantly jumping back and forth with your sleep cycle

The day before you work, there are multiple ways to make yourself nocturnal in preparation. I usually push myself to stay up as late as possible, and go to bed between 4-7am. Others will take a nap in the afternoon before their shift.

Black out curtains are your beloved. They make sleeping during the day so much easier. If you can’t afford those at the moment, an eye mask is a cheaper and effective alternative.

Many of us need some kind of noise to help settle our minds after work since many go to bed directly after work. A fan, a white noise machine, anything like that. I personally like ambience videos off YouTube, rain and thunderstorms or crickets and stuff.

If you’re trying to fall asleep after a shift and it just ain’t happening, there are a few things you can try. If benadryl makes you sleepy, you can try using that, though I don’t necessarily recommend making it a habit so much as a backup plan. Some people say magnesium makes them sleepy. I’ve used alcohol before to help me sleep but it doesn’t promise the best sleep. Another option is carbs! I’ll eat just a couple slices of bread or something and then you get a nice little food coma feeling.

Try not to kill yourself with your caffeine intake lol. And note when to stop caffeinating so you can fall asleep! I usually have to stop by 4am or I won’t be able to sleep right after work. (Though lately I’ve given up on falling asleep right after work, it usually takes my mind a couple hours to settle down so I fall asleep closer to 10/11am or so)

Note that working nights is probably gonna take a toll on your mental and physical health. Take vitamin D supplements to compensate for the lack of daylight, it’ll help boost your mood too. A lot of us have light lamp therapy stuff too, especially for winter. Try to find a good balance of letting yourself rest at home to wind down and being with some kind of support system.

Have fun! Night shift crew is almost always awesome, we’re wacky and fun and laid back! :)

[spideyharrington]

Avoidance

summary: you’ve been friends with steve harrington since freshman year in highschool. and you’ve also been in love with him since then. but you realize he would never love you back, so you decide to put some distance between the two of you without explanation.

warnings: cursing, self esteem issues, attachment issues, abandonment issues, emotional angst to fluff !

A/N: ignore nancy in the gif 💔 this is not proofread cuz i’m tired and lazy. also it’s been quite awhile since i’ve written but i’m feeling extremely attached to steve still and also needed to get some of my own emotions out lol

word count: 3.3k exact :)

It was yet another sleepless night. Your brain too wrapped up in anxious thoughts to even let you think about closing your eyes for more than a few seconds. So you listen to the rain hitting your window and let the thoughts take over, deciding you needed to stop pushing them away. You weren’t sure how long you’d been staring at your ceiling for, but you were shaken out of your thoughts by the phone ringing. It’s one in the morning who the hell is calling? You thought as you went to answer the loud device.

“Hello?” You sounded drained.

“Couldn’t sleep either huh?” Steve sounded almost as drained.

“Nope. Why’d you call?” You hadn’t meant to sound so short but you’ve had quite a rough day at work and didn’t feel like talking. Usually Steve would make you feel better immediately but lately being around him, even hearing his voice, has just made your heart hurt.

“Figured if I was awake you probably would be too.”

“Okay… So why call? Just to test your theory?” You joked but there was hardly a joking tone present.

“I guess I just wanted to hear your voice. Helps me clear my thoughts sometimes,” he ignored your joke, “are you alright?”

“Yeah Steve. Just peachy.”

God why am i being so rude to him? He didn’t do anything?

“Was work bad today?” He knew better than to take your tone personally.

“Yeah. Nothing new though. Just people being assholes.” You didn’t feel like talking about how your day at the video store went. You’re pretty sure you even scared Robin with how irritated you were getting, considering Robin was silent half the shift and she always has something to say.

“I’m sorry princess. Anything specific-“

Princess… A name he initially used a joke, to call you dramatic or pretend like you were asking for so much as if you believed you were royalty, that he’s been using on a more regular basis lately. God you hate that name.

“Steve I’m really tired. I gotta go.” You felt bad for cutting him off but you couldn’t pretend to give a shit about work right now. Not when you knew that’s not what was really bothering you.

There was a beat of silence, Steve being surprised at you cutting him off and the tone you had, “okay. I hope you sleep well. I’m here if you need me.” He knew you weren’t sleeping soon.

“Yeah you too. Goodnight.”

When Steve hung up he couldn’t shake the awful feeling he had that he had done something wrong. Usually he doesn’t worry about that with you. You’re always so kind to him and reassuring, knowing he blames himself easily for really anything he can. But tonight just now, that was new. He hated it. He hated not being able to make you feel better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After falling asleep sometime around four in the morning, your alarm went off at six thirty for work. Needless to say you ended up flipping off your alarm clock and going back to bed. You woke up again to the phone ringing, but you decided to ignore it, completely forgetting why your alarm went off. About your shift at Family Video.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To say Steve was anxious when he arrived at work to see Keith instead of you, was a huge understatement. Not even because he hated working with him, but because you were weird last night and now you didn’t show up to work. You haven’t missed a day since you started there.

“Hey Keith. Where’s y/n?”

“Thought you would know Harrington. She decided not to show up today.”

“She didn’t say why?”

Keith laughed, “she didn’t even call.”

Steve’s anxiety only grew. He immediately went to the phone in the back, calling you. If rang for what felt like an eternity. No answer. He called again. Okay, he called a few more times.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your phone wouldn’t stop ringing. You looked to your clock, it was twelve pm. You reluctantly got up to answer.

“What?” You already knew it was Steve. He was the only one who would call that many times in a row.

“Y/n what the hell?” You could hear the panic and slight relief mixed with a hint of anger.

“Mind telling me what i’m being yelled at for?”

“Yelled at? I’m not-“ you heard him inhale, you knew he was pinching the bridge of his nose, “does your shift at work today ring a bell?” You couldn’t even tell which tone he had that time.

“Shit. Sorry. Slept in.”

“…That’s it? That’s all you got?”

“Jesus Steve I’m so sorry you had to work with Keith. I’ll get ready and head over there, calm do-“

“I don’t give a shit that I had to work with Keith, y/n. I thought- I was worried something happened.”

Shit. Now you were really being an asshole. You know how anxious he gets when someone isn’t where they’re supposed to be and don’t give a reason. Not after all the scary shit you’ve been through. He immediately assumes the worst. Even if it does seem slightly irrational, neither of you are sure what exactly is rational anymore.

“I’m sorry. Seriously I just went to bed so late and i stopped my alarm without thinking. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m really sorry.” You felt like crying. You know the panic he was feeling when he didn’t see you and when it took ten calls for you to answer. Steve could hear that through the phone.

“It’s okay. Sorry I got a bit too anxious over nothing. Take your time, yeah? I’ll be alright with Keith for a little longer.” His voice was much softer again.

“I get it Steve. Please don’t apologize, I think you’re allowed to feel that way after everything you’ve been through.” Steve felt himself relax a bit, your reassurance made him feel better after worrying all night about doing something that had pissed you off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You arrived at work thirty minutes later somehow. Steve smiled when he saw you and you tried to smile back but you knew it wasn’t very convincing.

“You’re lucky you’re good at knowing what movies customers would like. Otherwise you’d be kicked to the curb y/l/n.” Keith pointed at you, sounding surprisingly less angry than you’d expected.

“Sorry Keith. Won’t happen again I swear.”

“Better not.” He mumbled and walked through the back door to his car.

“Hey. Would you rather sort and restock or check out customers and rewind these?” Steve held up a handful of tapes.

“Doesn’t matter to me.” You shrugged. Steve knew you preferred to sit and rewind the tapes when you were tired and / or anxious. So he stood up and gestures towards the chair he was previously on.

“the rewinding is all your princess.” He did a funny bow and attempted to sound british. Though it was definitely Australian. It actually would’ve been really impressive if Australian is what he was going for.

“Do I get a koala too?” You smirked and it took Steve a second to realize the jab at his accent.

“Wow ok I see how it is I do something kind and you repay me with a snarky comment.” He put his hand over his heart and pretended to be offended. But his grin gave him away.

“Oh I’m sorry. Thank you Steve Harrington! My savior!” You put your hands together and pretended to fawn over him, laughing.

God Steve loved your smile and your laugh. He’d sell a kidney to see it 24/7.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Steve was away stocking the romance section, your thoughts came back. Your depressing mood resurfacing. You were trying to keep your distance a bit, but he kept pulling you back in with his warm smile and his stupid Harrington charm.

You joked every now and then for the rest of your shift, but Steve could tell your mood had changed again. You knew he knew by the look on his face. A weak smile that you knew was the same you were giving him.

“Try to get some better rest tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“No promises. And yeah.” You lied. You had already decided halfway through your shift that you wouldn’t come in to see him on your next days off, including tomorrow, like you usually did. You were going to make it four days without seeing him. You were going to try not to call him too, but you knew better than that. You knew he’d end up calling you. If not to talk then to check you’re alive.

You waved goodbye and drove home. Deciding to watch a comfort movie before falling asleep earlier than you thought you would. Probably from the lack of sleep from the previous night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve looked up every time the bell on the door rang, waiting to see you. The highlight of his day. Except every time he looked, it was never you. Robin noticed of course.

“Alright Steve. This is getting a little pathetic. Even for you.”

He gave her a confused look.

“I know you’re waiting for y/n to walk through the door. We have fifteen minutes till we’re closed. I don’t think she’s coming in today dingus.”

“She just- She usually comes in.”

“Steve you saw her yesterday. She’s probably busy. Maybe Eleven is making her build a fort with her again.”

Steve just shrugged and worked on rewinding the last few tapes. It was oddly a comforting thing for him to do when you weren’t there. It reminded him of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Steve got home he called you just like you thought he would.

“Hey Steve. Sorry I didn’t stop in today. I am alive and I’m fine. Just had a lot of shopping to do.”

“No it’s okay. You have a life outside of that store.”

It was silent. Neither of you having much to say. Then you spoke up, “You okay?” You could hear something off with Steve.

“Yeah. I just hope you’re okay. You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know Steve. I’m okay. Just in a bit of a rut I guess.”

“If you need anything just call. Please.”

You swear your heart cracked at the way his voice sounded. You know he hates not being able to help, “I will. Promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The third day you didn’t show up to say hi to Steve and Robin, Steve decided to not call. He decided to leave you alone, assuming you needed distance or something. Even Robin was confused and a bit worried. Mostly worried for Steve.

“Steve?” He jumped a little when Robin put her hand on his shoulder, jolting him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah? Sorry, was thinking.”

“I can see that. What’s going on?”

“Y/n’s been… weird. She’s been quiet. Which is normal for other people who are around her, but not for me. She’s always making so many jokes when we work together and she always comes in on her days off just to mess with me and pick a new movie to watch. She always calls too. To tell me about whatever movie she watched. But she’s basically been ignoring me. Did I do something? Please tell me if I did something stupid Rob.”

Robin felt her heart sink when he looked up at her searching for answers. He looked like a kicked puppy. She couldn’t find it in herself to tease him.

“She hasn’t said anything to me bud. I’m sorry. I can talk to her though if you-“

“No!” He cleared his throat, “no, it’s okay. I don’t want her to think we’re talking about her when she’s not here.”

“But we are-“

“You know what I mean. Just… Maybe see if she’s okay. But don’t bring me up.”

“I’ll drop by her place tonight then I’ll call you. I’m sure she’s just stressed or something.” She gave him a reassuring smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were surprised to hear a knock on your door at ten that night.

You opened the door to see Robin.

“Robin? What are you-“

She barged in.

“Okay just come on in then…” You mumbled confused.

“What’s wrong with you?” She didn’t sound angry, but she didn’t sound happy.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh come on. That shit doesn’t work on me. You know what I mean. Why are you avoiding Steve?”

“Avoiding Steve? I’m not-“

“Almost not showing up to work when you worked with him, making your phone conversations hours shorter than usual, not coming in to say hi,” she was listing evidence on her fingers.

“Okay, okay I get it.” You threw your hands up in surrender.

Robin raised an eyebrow waiting for your explanation.

“Look, you know I have feelings for him. I’ve just been… Thinking about it lately and how I need to move on.”

“Move on? Why?”

“He obviously doesn’t feel the same wa-“

You were cut off by Robin’s laughter.

“What is so funny to you?”

“You really think that dingus isn’t head over heels in love with you too?”

“Woah woah woah first off I never said I was-“

“Oh you don’t have to.”

“Can you please stop cutting me off?”

“Can you please stop being so oblivious? Steve has been sitting there for the past three days sitting there rewinding tapes and watching that front door line a goddamn hawk. He misses you y/n.” This was probably the softest you’ve ever heard Robin talk.

“I know he cares about me. I know we’re close. And I don’t wanna lose him. But I’m tired Robin. I’m tired of reading into every little thing he does and trying to make my feelings obvious to him when I know he doesn’t feel the same way!” You spoke softly at first, but then your voice betrayed you. Cracking at the end as you raised your voice unintentionally.

“I think you need to talk to him. Seriously.” Robin was still speaking softly but she was more stern this time.

“Fat chance.” You mumbled.

“Y/n, I love you, but if you hurt Steve I swear to god… He’s been through enough as it is and you of all people know that. Too many people have left him. I genuinely don’t know what would happen to him if you left him too. He trusts you more than anyone. More than me. More than any of the kids, even Dustin. Don’t fuck this up. Don’t fuck him up.”

And with that, she left. Left your house and left you to think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On your fourth and final day off you were planning on how to talk to Steve when you worked with him tomorrow. Unfortunately you didn’t get too far when you heard an aggressive knock on your door. You opened it expecting to see Robin.

“Robin I get it I’m going to-“ You stopped as soon as you saw Steve. A very upset looking Steve.

“Y/n I didn’t wanna bother you but this is killing me. I can’t stand not being able to call you and rant about whatever Dustin or Robin did to piss me off that day. I can’t stand not listening to you rant about whatever movie you just watched. I can’t stand not being around you everyday. I don’t even know what I did and I’ve been trying so hard to figure it out but I can’t. I’m sure I did something really fucking stupid per usual, but please tell me what it was so I can fix it.”

“Stevie you didn’t do anything wrong.”

He looked so lost and confused. You gestures for him to come inside. Your parents weren’t home yet.

“Then what- What happened?”

“Fuck.” You muttered and Steve looked so anxious you just wanted to hug him and tell him everything is fine.

“Would you just trust me if I said it’s me and my brain and has nothing to do with anything you did?”

“Y/n that’s not a good enough reason and you know it. Why can’t you just talk to me-“

“I couldn’t stand being so close to you all the time knowing how strongly I’m in love with you okay! And knowing you don’t feel the same.” You didn’t mean to blurt it out like that. But there it was. And you couldn’t take it back.

“How would you know that i don’t feel the same?”

“Because why would you?” You laughed like he just offended you, “you could have any girl you want. Why on earth would you choose me?”

“Because you actually give a shit about me. You’ve been there for me when my so called friends weren’t. When my parents weren’t. Hell, you were there for me when Nancy wasn’t. You stuck with me even when I was a total asshole-“

“You were never an asshole Steve. Not to me. You know that.”

“And that’s what I love about you. You always see the good in people even when literally everyone else knows- thinks they’re an asshole.”

You couldn’t hold back the tears welling up at this point, “You know how much I hate everyone who made you feel like that right?” You weren’t even upset about exposing your feelings, you were upset over the fact that Steve still sees himself like that sometimes.

“I know. And if it weren’t for you I’d probably never forgive myself for how I was. But you showed me that I’m really not that guy. I’m not that “King Steve” everyone talked about in highschool. If you weren’t there for me throughout that time up until now, I’d still be such a mess.” He chuckled a little. You didn’t find it humorous however.

“Please don’t give me the credit for that. I just pointed out what you already knew was behind those walls. Fuck! I’m so sorry Steve. I know everything you’ve been through I know about all of the assholes who left you and here I am avoiding you for such selfish reasons!” You were fully crying at this point. How could you do what you hated so many others for doing?

Steve just quietly walked up to you and out your face in his hands, wiping the tears, “It’s okay y/n. I’m okay. I didn’t think you were abandoning me. I just thought I’d done something stupid to upset you.”

“I’m still sorry for making you anxious about it. For the record I don’t think you could ever upset me. at least not for more than ten minutes tops.” He laughed which made you smile.

“You know how much I look up to you yeah?”

“Y/n you don’t have to-“

“I know. But I need you to know. I mean I already blurted out that I love you, so I might as well keep going,” you paused to look into his beautiful dark eyes, making sure he absorbs your words, “you’re the most selfless person I know. You’ll do anything from letting someone rant to you for hours over something silly that upset them, throwing yourself into portals to hell. You pay such close attention to people you care about that you know every little tell-tale sign that somethings wrong. You know I get quiet when I’m anxious, you know what songs to play to help Max when she’s in a mood, I think you’re the only person Mike has ever gone to for advice. You’re so-“

Steve must’ve understood your point because suddenly he was cutting you off with a kiss that took you by surprise, but you quickly reciprocated.

“God I love you so much y/n.” He smiled against your lips.

“I love you so much too Steve.”

“Yeah you made that pretty clear.” He chuckled and you playfully slapped his arm.

[sluttysnails334]

short but very angsty style fic bc I saw a great fan art of them and I wanna write the scene that lead up to it lol

triggers: alcoholism, language, su!c!de themes, self harm, substance abuse, depression/intrusive thoughts

they r around 17/18 here :)

Title: We’re All Broken, Stan

I walk toward bathroom of the cabin. The music from the party still loud as ever, I could hear the muffled base drops of the songs, and girls screaming about how this was their “jam” and feel the subtle vibrations of their dancing.

I have been looking for Stan all evening, asking various people where he’s been. Kenny said he saw him dive into the lake. Butters said he saw him enter Tolkien’s cabin. We weren’t supposed to be inside, it’s a bonfire for crying out loud, but at least I asked Tolkien if I could go in, and he said if Stan is inside to please get him out. So here I am.

I open the door.

There he is. He’s wearing ripped skinny jeans and a red flannel, and his busted ass Chuck Taylor’s and his red puff ball hat. He is clutching a bottle of whisky, and his eyes are closed. They are red and puffy. He has visual acne and, his scars are back.

Despite looking like a drunken mess of a man, I still think he looks beautiful.

“Good Morning, stranger.” I said.

He jolted awake and glared at me, trying to see who I was.

“Kyle? Is that you? Isn’t it the middle of the night??” he asked

“Well it’s 1:30am, so technically morning.” I said

“what are you doing here?” he said.

He isn’t as drunk as I thought he was going to be, I take that as a good sign.

“I could ask you the same thing,” I said

“What I wanted to do was drown in the lake. At least then I’d feel something.” he said

I walk over and sit next to him.

“Randy?” I asked.

I wanted to bring him into a hug. Just simply engulf him in my love but I refrain.

“He fucking got arrested again, and called my mom to bail him out, and she refused. So I did. Then she got all pissed off that I helped Randy and just left.” he said starting off into the hallway.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure she still loves you, she just needs to deal with her own feelings. It’s good that you helped your dad.” I said

“Fucking bullshit, Kyle. He didn’t even care! He didn’t even say so much as a thank you or acknowledgement. He’ll probably go back to jail next week. Oh and Sharon? She’s never cared about me. She just cares about herself. No one gives a flying rats ass if I live or die, because nothing I do is ever good enough!!” he said, tear drops leaking down his face.

“Don’t say that. So it didn’t work out this time. Doesn’t mean you go unnoticed.” I said

I placed a hand on his knee and faced directly at him. Breathing in and out, trying to transfer my energy to him.

“Kyle, no one ever notices me. I do all this shit to help my dumb fucking parents, for what? So we can be a family? I’m sure to do that we’d have to love each other first. They don’t even notice me enough to like me. Besides, no one can love someone who is this broken.” said Stan, as he took a giant gulp of the whiskey

“Ugh, this taste awful” he said.

He is still crying, I wish I knew how to make this better. I wish I knew how to let him know that if I lost him, I’d lose myself. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without him.

“We’re all broken, Stan. It doesn’t make you less perfect. At least to me.” I said

I leaned in and he turned his face toward me.

“I’m not perfect. Kyle. Why do you still do this? Why do you still even fucking care? Don’t you see how I’m beyond repair?? I didn’t mean for that to sound like a stupid rhyme” he said as he drank more of the whiskey

“I don’t give up on people, Stan. I certainly won’t give up on you. I need you to know that, I think you are perfect. Broken or not, and I will never stop trying to help you see the you that I see.” I said.

We slowly had moved several centimeters away from each other. Our breathing was mismatched. I think I could almost hear, Stan’s heart beating. I felt so close to him but so far away.

I closed my eyes and leaned in, and once our lips touched, I tasted the watery salt of his tears.

[frostfloweragainlol-alias-juno]

This is my first attempt at a kind of fanfic i guess? Lol its a bit of a test

Lets see how it goes

This is part 1

Dex belongs to @leech-twinz

Warnings: cussing , light sickness (flu)

Ships present: Cain x Oc (Dex), Abel x Larry

5 am

Another morning at site 17. Another day at the foundation. Scp 073 reached out to the alarm, which’s annoying ringtone had woken him up, and turned it off. He yawned, questioning to himself how he could be more tired than when he went to bed, and got up. Cain walked up to the bathroom, turned the tap on and started washing his face with cold water, in the attempt to better wake up and hopefully shake off this strange feeling of fatigue and tiredness. He turned off the tap and grabbed a towel to his face, then looked up:“Man, I really should shave '' was his first thought upon seeing his reflection in the mirror , but something made him observe closely. Cain noticed that his face was unusually pale and the bags under his eyes were somehow blacker than normal . “Yes, maybe I should '' he mumbled. He decided to dismiss the entire situation to the fact that maybe he should sleep more. There was no way he was sick. He hasn’t been sick in 1000 years! Nope, he must've been just tired. Right ? He sighed and made his way to the door leading on the corridor, then proceeded straight walking past the site’s canteen. Usually he would have stopped for some breakfast, but this time, while well knowing it wasn’t that much of a good idea, he decided not to. He didn’t feel much like eating right now, and only the thought of food made him nauseous.

“Hey dumbass!”

073 looked up

“Good morning to you too, brother”

“Have you seen Frost by any chance? It’s at least 30 minutes that i look for her!”

“Abel you know very well that she is never up before 8 am”

“And?”

“It’s 5 am”

“Oh”

“You guys better not be talking behind my back” Frost walked towards her brothers with a smirk

“Huh, since when are you a morning person ?” Smiled Cain

“Oh I’m not. But Zack unfortunately is. And the ringtone of his alarm today was so loud that I heard it from my cell. And that’s why I’m awake” Frost yawned “Man, I hate waking up- ... early-“

Scp 9108 stopped “Dude you alright? You don’t look too good “

Abel immediately looked at Cain

“Hm? Oh! Yes I’m fine, just tired” 073 shrugged off “ Maybe I should sleep more “

Frost stayed silent for a moment. 076 instead didn’t break eye contact , not believing a word of what his brother just said

“Fine” she obliged “still, you probably should go back to bed. You are pale as fuck “

“Nah, I’m fine”

“Well, I was going to eat something. Would you guys like to come too?”

“Fuck yeah! I haven’t had breakfast yet!” exclaimed Abel

“Thanks but no. I’m not hungry “

Abel began to stare again at his older brother

“What?”

“Nothing. Why?“

“You were looking at me weird—“

“I wasn’t “ argued 076

“...ok?””Anyway , I have to go. I have to catalog some documents and Doctor Glass asked me for some help. If you need me I’ll be in his office”

“Ok! See you later brother”

As Cain walked away Frost and Abel shared a worried look

“That was wired -“ mumbled 9108

“...”

“Aby?”

“Hm?”

“Dude, were you even listening to me?”

“Yeah. Sorry I was just thinking”

“—-“ “Yes, I’m worried too”

“Never said I was”

“Hmh. Yeah. Sure-“

Abel shrugged

Of course he was worried. Why would his brother lie like that?

“Hi guys!“

“AAHH!” 9108 rapidly looked behind her

“ Oh shoot! I’m sorry“ started apologizing Dex upon seeing the reaction of his sister-in-law

“No prob “ Frost reassured him “I just didn’t expect that lol”

“SERIOUSLY what does ‘lol’ mean?!” Abel glanced at the both of them in anger

“Pff-“

“Oh come on!”

“Hahahaa!”

076 started mumbling swear words in Sumerian under his breath, thing he always did when he was pissed

“Heyyyy- language-“ 9108 joked

“FUCK. OFF.”

“Ok jeeze “

“Are we going to have breakfast or not? I don’t have all day “

“Fine mr grumpy” she rolled her eyes “ Dex would you like to join?”

Dex nodded happily “Ofc!”he then stopped a second and proceeded to look around “Where’s Cain?”

Silence

Abel and Frost stared at each other.

“He went to help Doctor Glass” Frost responded, and then hesitantly continued with “And- well - he was weird this morning”

Dex started at her confused

“I’ll explain everything, but in the meantime let’s head to the canteen” continued 9108

“Ok” he obliged a bit anxiously

~

“Ok, and with this we have finished with scp 4001’s documents ” Doctor Glass closed the file on his tablet “Which one is next? Was it 005 ? “

No response

“Cain?” Glass looked up from his tablet and at his friend, who was sitting at the other end of the desk.

Cain had his head on the table , buried in his arms. Did he fall asleep? Wait- is he shaking?

Simon stood up and approached 073. He then proceeded to gently shake him by the shoulder. Cain groaned, blinked several times until he was somewhat awake and then looked up. It took him 10 seconds to realize he had been asleep for all the cataloging of 4001’s files.

“Omg- I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to fall asleep like that “ he then apologized, with a weak voice

Doctor Glass stared at him worried. Cain was sweating and shaking, and was clearly trying to keep his eyes open to avoid falling asleep again, though he barely managed to keep them only halfway open.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah , I’m fine”

‘-No you aren’t-‘ Thought the scientist

“Listen, we actually finished cataloging everything for today, and I thank you a lot for helping me. ” He said “But you don’t look well at all, you really should go and rest.”

Cain stared at the table for several seconds, and finally nodded. He was right. It was stupid to keep working while in that state. He proceeded to stand up and, after waving off Doctor Glass, he started heading back to his chamber.

~

Abel made his way in the corridor, trying to focus on the incoming mission, but still failed to shake off the feeling of worry. He kept on walking, trying not to think about it. Then he noticed a familiar face in the corridor, coming from the opposite direction.

Cain? He already finished cataloging ?

“Cain!”

073 raised his eyes

Abel approached him. He observed him for a second and then immediately asked

“Are you ok?”

Cain stayed quiet for a few minutes. He really did not want to worry his brother, but it was too obvious at that point that he indeed wasn’t fine.

He shook his head. No.

076 placed a hand on 073’s forehead for then commenting with “ Your burning up! How are you even standing up!?” and “I’m bringing you back to your chamber this instant!”

Cain didn’t say a word, he just nodded. He was too exhausted to do anything else other than that.

~

Upon entering the cell, Abel immediately placed his brother in bed. He then proceeded to find and hand him a thermometer.

“Well? Don’t just stare at it dumbass!” He said annoyed, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Cain glanced at Abel “Calm down, sheesh”

“Just use it idiot “

A few seconds later the thermometer beeped and 073 it handed it back to 076

“104 °F? How in the FUCK are you even still conscious?!”

Abel sighed

“What made you think it was a good idea going to work like this?!” He then yelled

“ I don’t know “

“What do you mean you don’t know?!?!”

“I- don’t know, ok? Maybe I didn’t want to worry anybody or maybe it was for another reason. I just don’t know “

“Well you just fucking worsen things. Couldn’t you just use your brain and think about it for once?! Why tf are you so -“

“....I know...... you’re right ........I’m sorry”

He lowered his head, staring at his hands, that was now squeezing tightly into fists

-Aw shit - Abel sighed again

“Hey- I didn’t mea-“

“I know. Don’t worry “

“No really I’m sor- “

“No problem “

076 grabbed him by the shoulders

“ Cain please. I really didn’t mean to yell at you like that. I was just worried”

Cain looked up at his brother

“And sometimes you should take a break from work” Abel continued “You need some time to rest , you’re not a robot for God’s sake!”

Cain nodded

“Guess you’re r-“ his sentence was roughly interrupted by a series of coughing fits and a sneeze.

“Uh- I’ll get you some tissues. You’ll need them “ 076 stood up

073 sniffled “Thank you” he replied weakly

Abel got some tissues and some cough and fever medicine , then gave the tissues to Cain, just in time for him to sneeze into one. He also handed him the medication along with a spoon

“Don’t stain the sheets with that “ he slightly smirked

Cain nodded again, this time with a weak smile

[writingmaidenwarrior]

Just the usual morning

I think @flashfictionfridayofficial prompts are helping me to get a WIP lol Last week's piece lived in my head rent-free and expanded over the last days, and today's prompt gave me a good excuse to write some of the new characters. This will be some cozy slice of life fantasy thing in the long run.

Reki curled up with a small poof of fire under the pot of water for tea while Amon rummaged around to find his googles. Maud stood with her hip rested at the table and watched him run around like a cow in a thunderstorm, while the scent of the herbs and scrambled eggs slowly filled the room. It was a thankful, slow morning, and she knew to cherish them as they came. She knew visitors were coming before the knock on the door came because Reki lifted her little dragon head curiously. With the knock on the door, the faint sound of metal sounded off, giving away it was the royal guard. There were only two reasons for them to appear on her door step that early: Either one of them was hung over and didn’t want to go to their guard’s healer or Meir. The uproar outside said it was Meir. The moment she opened the door, said former royal guard hung between two of his old comrades, looking like he had a run in with Death himself, but still with this aloof smirk on his face that lit up his amber eyes under this unruly mop of black hair. They had him in a secure grip by his shoulders to make sure he wouldn’t run away, like he ever would. “Good morning, Maud, I am sorry to disturb you but…” She waved them off and motioned inside. “You know the way, guys.” They dragged him inside and threw Meir on a free chair. Reki immediately scurried over and seated herself on Meir’s lap. Love-sick little dragon. The higher-ranked guard nodded to the other one he could leave and waited for him to be out of the door before he addressed Meir. “I can’t keep doing this.” “I never asked you to, Kellen.” “We are friends, moron. That’s the least thing I can do.” “You mean beside throwing me in a cell?”, Meir asked while scratching Reki’s ear. Kellen sighed defeated. “Make sure he will stay away from a pub for one night”, he said towards Maud before he left off. She already had the small jar with salve in her hands and put it in front of him. “You know he tries to help”, Maud reminded Meir softly, and left for the last preparation of the day. “I know”, he sighed, just as defeated as Kellen moments ago, “But he has to understand it would be better for him to stop caring.” “Says the man who cares too much”, Amon teased, finally with his googles in his hands. A boyish smile was all Meir could muster as a reply as he opened the jar and started to apply the salve to his bruises. “Where is Iskra? She isn’t here yet?” Meir’s eyes scanned the room for the young tiefling bard. “Probably overdoing it again.” Amon placed the bread and eggs in front of Meir with a look that left no discussion as to eat. Maud came back with the blue vest that carried the tree emblem, identifying her as an official healer. “Another one I need to keep out of the pubs for tonight.” The door swung open and a heartily yawing Iskra stumbled inside. She barely managed to put her lute aside before she fell into the last free chair. “You are barely awake, sweets”, Meir softly admonished and grabbed the pot of tea to pour her a mug, adding extra honey for her voice. Maud and Amon shared an amused look. Ever since Iskra came to the city and became part of their unusual horde, Meir became her protector. Only he knew what he saw in her. “Thanks. The patrons just left.” “You need to take better care of yourself, sweet love”, Amon advised, “There is no use in grinding yourself to dust. Take a day off.” Iskra’s snoring was the only sound, her head in her hands.” “Go to work, I’ll carry her to her room”, Meir snickered at the sight, “And I promise no gambling tonight. It will be enough of a game of luck to keep her entertained.” “True words. A bag of fire ants is easier to handle than her when bored”, Maud laughed and patted his shoulder, “And get a bath, you stink.” Laughter erupted at Maud’s comment.

[13-beutelteufel]

And she's gone - Part VII

Rikka got off the bus at her stop and made the short journey home. She walked quickly and kept looking around, but Birkir was nowhere to be seen. When she arrived at the flat, she crept quietly into her room, as Sjana was probably already asleep at this time of night. She checked her mobile phone for a while before going to the bathroom, putting on her pyjamas and crawling into bed.

Rikka had a bad dream that night and woke up the next morning with a queasy feeling in her stomach. It was already light, but the rain was still drumming incessantly against her window, turning the sides of the road into small streams and causing the drains to overflow. Rikka stayed in bed for a while until she finally pulled herself together and got up. She looked for something comfortable to wear - it was Saturday after all - and then shuffled to the bathroom. Then she wanted to go to the kitchen. On the way, she noticed that Nina's door was open. Auga was lying on the bed, snoring. The room was empty. Rikka looked at her mobile phone. 11 am, she had got up late by her standards. Strange, shouldn't Nina be home by now? Shrugging her shoulders, Rikka went into the kitchen. Who knew what her sister was up to again. Perhaps she was meeting up with Birkir. Rikka couldn't help but grin. She ate her breakfast, cleared up, went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, which she always did after breakfast, and then went back to her room to spend the day on Instagram. In the hallway, through the small window next to the door, she saw a police car pull up in front of the building where their ground floor flat was located. Were the upstairs neighbours' children refusing to go to school again? No, it was Saturday. Had someone too obviously been smoking pot and been reported by a very law-abiding citizen? Whatever it was, Rikka would find out for sure, albeit perhaps a slightly overdramatised version. By lunchtime at the latest, the rumour mill would be churning. If she was lucky, someone might actually have heard something and not just from the cousin of a friend of a brother-in-law. The doorbell rang. Rikka, who was already in front her room, stopped and looked towards the front door. Sjana, who had of course been awake for hours, came into the hallway and opened the door. The two police officers from the patrol car were standing outside. Rikka couldn't hear what they were saying, but she didn't need to. It clicked the moment she saw the two officers' expressions and her mother slapping her hand over her mouth. She had thought Birkir was a suspicious, awkward, strange but harmless guy, after all he had been to her sister's café countless times without ever doing her any harm. But that evening had been different. Rikka had been afraid that he had been waiting for her at the bus stop. And he had. He had waited until Rikka got on the bus and Nina was alone again in the café. Then he had gone back into the café with his heavy, clanking bag.

Happy Halloween everyone! Writing this story was such a cramp lol. I started this thing on the 28th of September and finished it on the 22nd of October. It just took me 3.5 weeks to write this shit! For not even 11 A4 pages of text. Looks like Paradise and school ate all my creativity. I struggle with longer creepypastas though, so maybe that's why. I honestly don't really know what to make of this story. Somehow I'm missing a bit of the Halloween vibe. For Christmas I might try my hand at something supernatural again, or maybe something beautiful for once instead of always fear and sadness, but we'll see.

[messofmoss]

tuesday, june 18, 2024

8:27am

i had a lackluster message from julia which already started my day off poorly. but i also had a message from tristan saying good morning when he got off of work. and the only reason he is even doing this is because he wants to get off. he had said he'd let me know when he's off of work. he doesn't want to chat with me. he wants to cum. that's all i'm good for. i feel like a clawing at my skin internally right now. i haven't answered him yet but she wants to. my fingers feel weird so i'm just making a fist and letting it go. i can't think of the word. like this is my hand. i don't have to do this. i shouldn't do this. i don't want to do this. my legs bouncing a mile a minute. i feel like i'm in limbo right now. i'm moving my hands to remind myself they're mine but they don't feel like mine. there's like an ache. oh they're shaking. my hands are cold. i think i am going to toss my phone away so i won't answer him.

9:16am

i just answered him. i am also feeling so itchy, and like if you've taken a pen to a page and angrily scribbled like that's how i feel inside. messy, pointy, frenetic. i told julia in 4 messages that she was in my dream. it wasn't romantic or sexual just kinda silly. all she said was "Oh," oh. just oh. not "lol, that's weird," which, even just that, is fairly dry. but there is nothing to say to oh. if she doesn't want to talk to me, she should just say that. i don't even know why i try anymore. this is all it ever is. me talking at her and her seeming to barely tolerate me. it hurts like so fucking bad dude. why???? why do i even exist? my own best friend doesn't even fucking like me. no one wants to be around me. i'm so stupid. i just want to ghost everyone i know. as if any of them would even care. i'm better off alone. i can throw out all of my masks and just exist alone in my room as this feral thing that doesn't need anybody. all people do is use me. i'm not complimenting her anymore, so what's the point of having me around? she's probably praying i'll stop messaging her. well fuck it i will then.

11:00am

i could never be a parent. i was feeling shitty so i decided to take a nap. i wake up to my mom in my room (extremely rare) calling my name bc grandma is awake and needs her breakfast and coffee and shit. she then told me i scared her because she called me and i wasn't answering. i was downstairs like an hour ago to start a load of laundry.

but i get downstairs and my grandma is sitting there and cheerfully goes hello!! and i was just so angry. i gave a curt hi back. i got her stuff ready and gave it to her then came back up here. now i feel too warm to sleep and that pisses me off more.

she's working from home precisely for this reason that she can take care of her for the day. in the time it took her to come up here and wake me, she could have already had the coffee and meds to her. the coffee is just sticking a cup in the keurig. its not that hard. she literally works like 10 feet from it.

i just want to be left the fuck alone. it's a million degrees, and i want to cry, and the air feels like a blanket, and it's smothering me. i just want to be asleep.

her look of disappointment is still hanging in the air by the doorway.

brain backing track: leavemealoneleavemealoneleavemealoneleavemealoneleavemealoneleavemealoneleavemealoneleavemealone

at the same time: you're so fucking stupid. you're just a burden on her. do you know how much happier she would be if you were gone? how much happier they would all be?

i wish i could shut up all the layers of my thoughts. a torturous tiramisu.

3:54pm

took a nap. still julia has not said anything to me since the "Oh" at 9:13am. she posted to her close friends on insta though. i got a notification but i haven't gone to look yet. i don't want to seem too eager. usually i wait until like 7ish because she'll be asleep by then for sure.

she just messaged me

she still wants to do goodnight messages even if we haven't talked all day? but like she doesn't even seem to want to talk to me in the first place? i am so confused. what does she want?

5:28pm

we ended up talking. she said that she wasn't mad at me but she wasn't going to pretend everything is normal after the voice messages i sent. she said she felt we aren't on the same page and should talk about it. she basically said that we should come to a middle ground but she wanted me to know her not doing certain things isn't because she doesn't care but because those things in particular are hard for her.

9:25pm

she doesn't care about me. she only cares about cris. has it even bothered her that we have been in a weird place? did she miss me? no. just cris. i'm just the backup friend. no one cares about me for more than what they can use me for. if i just disappeared, who would notice? who would care? i just want to be entirely alone. i don't want to have to see people or hear people or be around people anymore. all it leads is to pain anyway. maybe if i wasn't so fucking awkward, people would actually like me.

the last two days at work, i opened with taylor and she kept talking to me but i don't know how i'm supposed to respond. i could tell by her face that i wasn't giving the correct responses. i'm forever just awkward weird katy. i wanted her to just leave me alone to save myself the embarrassment but i also don't want that because then it will just confirm that no one likes me. why is small talk so painful

[sashketter]

The Captain and the Senator Chapter 2 Footnotes

Double the length, double the fun 😉🤭 Some clarifying thoughts:

Poor Echo lol but Mom deserves his beauty sleep 😌

Here’s how I figure the timeline: when Rex and the Batch are escaping the shipyard in “Truth and Consequences,” Rex says they need to hurry because “it’s almost morning.” The establishing shot of the Senate building immediately after is still dark, so it’s not even sunrise yet. That means when the Batch leave, it’s most likely early to mid morning. I assume then that by the time Rex and Riyo reach her apartment after Echo does his scan, it’s at least early afternoon. And with three people taking separate, consecutive showers in one fresher, it’s likely to be between 6 to 9pm by the time this chapter starts. They’ve all been awake for over a day. They’re all supremely sleepy-eepy.

Pantorans blush purple, obvs bc red blood + blue skin = purple cheeks, and I think that’s absolutely adorable. I’m working off this and this swatch, in case y’all want a visual.

I’m not going to debate Riyo’s exact age. I think it’s enough to know she’s older than in “Trespass,” and I’ll treat her as such. She’s obviously younger than Bail and Mon Mothma, but certainly not inexperienced. She’s allowed to have thots about a half-naked clone right in front of her! And y’all spent literal years sailing Foxiyo. As far as I’m concerned, Rex is a lateral move for her.

Riyo strikes me as someone who would wear nightgowns, another similarity she shares with Padmé, but I had her opt for loose pajamas because it was a Long Ass No Good Day and she just wanted to get comfortable and retain some modesty while hosting Rex and Echo.

As much as I think the clones treat their armor like a second skin and feel almost naked without it, I also think they don’t care about being half naked around other people. Certainly not around each other; it’s the same equipment, etc. And obviously, there’s room for a spectrum of modesty, but unless it’s an active battlefield, sun’s out guns out. Get ye taps aff, as the Scots wud sae.

I am of the firm belief that the clones were all horny young men who took every opportunity to get laid, Republic and Kaminoan policies be damned. I don’t think the WW2 parallels stop with the nose art.

I’m also of the firm belief that for all the anti-clone sentiments TCW seemed to suggest, there had to have been an equal amount of love for them. GAR groupies, clone fan clubs, what have you. Again, using WW2 for inspiration, there had to have been a Republic equivalent of the USO. And you’re telling me millions of Jango Fetts went completely unnoticed by the civilian population? No one wanted to bang Fives? Even if it was illegal, you don’t think some enterprising citizens wanted a taste of that forbidden fruit? How do you explain the thirsty side of TCW fan base? Be frfr, sex transcends politics.

Writing sex is hard DIFFICULT HOW DO ROMANCE NOVELISTS DO IT. There’s only so many ways of avoiding cock, pussy, clit, testicles without sounding like a prude 💀 and it was my first attempt, so I’ll get better, I promise 😉

But frenulum is a fun word lolol Kisses to everyone who uses it.

It was very important to me that they were both fresh-from-the-shower clean. Wash your bits before intercoursing, ya nasties.

Equally important was Riyo using the fresher immediately after. IYKYK.

I reference Umbara twice, if only to underline that Rex understands Riyo’s predicament more than she does. He understands what it’s like to be used as a tool against his own aims. To that end, I’m not sure the Republic divulged the full details of Krell and Umbara to the public, in the same way Palpatine never shows all his cards. They probably would’ve made Krell’s deceptions and the clones’ sacrifices known to garner sympathy, but I think only the clones who were there know the full details, things like the Umbarans’ technology and how easily the clones were tricked into targeting each other. Those things would erode public confidence in the GAR and the war, so in my mind, they’re classified.

[1d1195]

I am in California! Specifically southern California so yeah it's always warm lol but that's the problem, it's been cold (cold for me which is 50-60sih) and it's very confusing since this isn't our usual weather! Plus it's also been really windy and the wind is cold lol And yeah sadly the timing was THE WORST!!!

It's okay that you chose to not go! like you knew your limit, you knew that it was something that wasn't going to be too enjoyable for you. especially if you had other things on your mind. It's not right that she made you feel bad about that even if you expressed that you were busy/didn't feel up for it. and even if you didn't say something about feeling off, respecting your choice is a MUST and knowing you, you probably declined in a nice way! So being upset that she couldn't respect that is valid! And being an independent person is good! like the fact that you can do things by yourself is something that a lot of people struggle with! there's nothing wrong about that.

I swear I listen to other artists and not just Paramore/ Paramore adjacent music HAHA like aside from that lyric, Ive had Good Luck Babe! by Chappell roan, Lejos de Ti(away from you) and Run Your mouth by The Marias and Bewitched by Laufey and like many more stuck in my head and I just cant seem to get it to stop lol

I kinda liked that they didn't have sex right away! I think her mentioning that "he ruined it" showed how sometimes the healing process is tricky and never linear! either way I always trust you and the process so Im excited!

I try so hard understand it like i have taken those quizzes, read articles and even watched videos! But I simply cant lol Nad you are very sweet!!! also sort of off topic but do you think Belle was disappointed once she saw the Beast in his human form?

Im glad your week was better! I hope that you rest this weekend my love!! thank you so much! ILY!!!-💜

Okay, it's coming back to me, when we talked about ideal temps a while back and I mentioned that 50/60 is my ideal temp 🤣 DEF the worst timing though :( I'm sorry!

She didn't make me feel that way per se, but I can read between the lines of course. Idk it's frustrating. I never say no and then I feel extremely guilty when I don't (have I mentioned Dolcezza before?) I even suggested she go herself and she was like "well, no. I won't go alone." Which I think is really tragic. It's freeing to do things by yourself, in my opinion. I don't mean to sound like 'she should just do it' but you kind of have to start somewhere with it. I'm an early bird so I used to get breakfast by myself in college, go for walks/runs, and honestly I had a whole day by myself in the mornings when no one else was awake. It was either eat breakfast on my own or I wasn't eating until like noon when everyone else woke up and that wasn't what I wanted. Anyway...

That's so cute! I'll have to give them a listen :)

They will definitely be sexual in the next part hahahahahaha

I've seen a lot of memes and tik toks about Belle and her disappointment of Beast HAHAHAHA I'm not sure, honestly! I had to google before and after images to remember what I thought at the time. Not sure if we're talking animated or live-action too, but either way, he's pretty cute in human form. I'm sure it was probably an adjustment for her, regardless. I personally don't like long hair on guys all that much (except Harry obviously because he can do no wrong, ever) so I struggle with that in general but it was a reflection of the time, I suppose. I want to know why they didn't call him Adam. Like it already sucks he's a transformed monster and hates himself already. like why are they calling him The Beast? ESPECIALLY when they know he's a d-bag to begin with? Like why make him MADDER? That would certainly make me mad and I would probs throw Lumiere and Cogsworth out a window (sorry I'm apparently really passionate about Beauty and The Beast).

Hope this week starts off easier for you 💕

xoxo

[thatweirdafbeing]

“Can I ask you smth?”

The odd abbreviation on the text told him who sent it. Andrew picked up the phone to answer, putting the guitar down on the bed and sitting up a little. The question by itself sends his heart rate up a few beats so there’s an attempt to calm himself down. Plus,

“U awake at 1 am? I thought babies got to bed at like 9pm lol”

“Sure, shoot it”

Yeah, he figures that sounds laid back enough. But the casual mood goes out the window bit by bit with every second it takes Dee to type. Fidgeting with his too-long-too-flashy blond hair, his thoughts are taking their own escape routes. Should I dye it brown? Should I just make a “straight guy” buzz cut? Maybe the handful of people who ask for pictures on the street will stop recognizing him. For a while. But she wouldn’t like that, she likes my long curl-

“ Do u remembr that one party we talked about kink and u said u could never do a ‘non sexual spanking’? Do u still think that?”

Oh wow, he did not see that coming. It takes a full minute to recover from the whiplash, and another to reprimand the fantasies lurking in the back of his mind and focus on the answer. Of all his kinks, Drew thought, that’s probably one of the most arousing ones, specially considering there are plenty that do not have that effect at all. He knows most, if not all of Dee’s relationship with bdsm it’s non sexual. Actually, she’s a very non sexual person altogether, which makes the whole situation a little more confusing. On that note, when has he said that? It makes sense that it was at a party, still that doesn’t narrow it down at all since they know each other for almost a decade. Why was she even thinking about that…

“Uhm, I think so, yeah… I don’t remember the context of that conversation, and it’s been a while since I got to be a dom but” - No no no, scratch that. Too many awkward follow up questions could come out of sharing too much. Keep it clean -

“Drew? It’s that okay for me to ask? I don’t want to be annoying u don’t have to answer if it’s too personal”

“Hey, no”

“Actualy, never mind ok, pretend I didn’t ask”

“Don’t do that, u know u don’t bother me”

“ I was thinking about it, I didn’t know what to say at the top of my head like that”

“…sorry

I dont want u to be mad”

She’s more of a mess than usual. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. Maybe that’s why she can’t sleep. Damn, the urge to take care of her clears his mind like nothing else. If it was anyone else, the defensive and self pitting responses would get on his nerves and sidetrack the conversation. She knows him well. And he also knows her, hence why he thinks something is up.

“Tbh I think it’s still true. Perhaps if it was with someone I’m really not attracted to, I could ignore the sexual stuff… Otherwise it would not be worth the discomfort”

“Y u ask?”

An even longer pause follows. He contemplates calling her, even though she hates it, just to ask more questions, but it was gonna reach too close to overreacting for his liking. It was a pretty inconspicuous topic, after all they only have their friend group to talk about that stuff. However, that one on one felt kind of… personal. Is he actually jumping to conclusions about why a sub would ask a dom about a heavily d/s practice? Is he trying to see it as a weird interaction because he doesn’t want to think about where the conversation may go?

“Dee?”

…

/

“Sorry about that night, I fell asleep. Sorry for being all over your business as well, don’t know y i askd”

“Sure, np”

Turning his phone off it’s the best way he finds to concentrate on the recording instead of her, for once, after a week.

/

“May I call u”

Barely at home, stressed from working non stop, Drew notices the text is from hours ago. At another time he could preserve himself and deny it, but he’s convinced he just needs to know what’s going on with this disappearing act of hers, just need to hear her voice. He’s not going to get frustrated nor anxious again. Gathering the courage, and honestly not even expecting her to see it right away:

“Of course”

And the phone immediately stars vibrating.

“Hey Dee, good to know you’re alive haha”

“hey, yeah… Sorry for dropping out of the face of the Earth like… I hope you were not worried…or…anything…”

Her voice sound small on the other side of the call, and her words are coming out with a bit of struggle. With just a few words he gets a bad feeling-

“Are you ok? Do you need anything like, can I help you with-”

“hope i’m not bothering I just needed to…Idon’tknow”

“You at home? I can come over to talk-”

“NO, no…I - can I come over? I’ll try to be there before 7 ”

And at this point his full on worried about her. With a bit of back and forth she at least agreed to meet him at the door of her studio after she picked up something she forgot at work. At least that part is on character for her. Parked near the entrance, at 7 pm exactly, Drew’s watching a variety of people on their phones, carrying suitcases, scratching paint of their hands, just going about their days. It feels nice, cause it all looks so normal. Since they started working bigger roles, higher positions and being big names in each of their industries, this two grew a little bit apart. If you ask them while together their opinion on that would be dismissive and chill, but separately…

It was almost 8 when he recognized the long purple hair. Good thing it was from a distance, ‘cause the mismatch of cute bows and chains, leather harness and a baby-pink skirt, tied with thigh height girly socks under combat boots… does things to him he is so not ready to admit. Before she could seat next to him, his breathing has evened and his blushed cheeks were more discreet. Not that the girl would have noticed, since she barely look at him the whole ride. Dee acknowledged his attempts at small talk by humming and mumbling one or two words. She’s distant sure, but it doesn’t seem like she’s mad. Spacy, ditzy… slow…

“Are you high?”

He was too in his head to drive. Almost sure he ran a red light, he pulled over close to a busy cafe. Just a sense of normalcy and casualness, it’s what the situation needs.

“What? No! I shot God knows how many scenes, attended a contract meeting, and even printed some material, I’m fucking exhausted!”

“My bad Dee, I, I’m just worried, you haven’t even complained about work, you seemed somewhere else sinc-”

“Complaining would be acting more like me right”

That’s not what he meant. She probably knows that, so he swallows an snarky come back and tries again. At least she didn’t storm off the car. Small victories.

“Please Dee, can you at least look at me? I know you need to talk, you need someone right now and I-”

With each word his voice sounded louder and more exasperated. This was a moment he really did not wanted to be so emotional. Andrew rubbed his face, frustrated, and kept his eyes shut with force whilst taking deep breaths. His little “anger management drill”, as he was hyper aware of now. It does the trick every time. Until, of course, he opened his eyes to find Dee staring at him expectantly, with her big brown eyes shinning under the street lights. Her bottom lip was bruised under her teeth, leading to the thought that she must have bitten then a lot lately. Completely absorbed by instinct, Drew brushed his thump down her lip to free it from her grip, making her mouth fall agape with a small sigh. His rational part began fighting for control, telling him to turn around, clear his throat, anything to break the trance. This woman means too much for him to have the guts to make a move and risk rejection, or worse. He was withdrawing his hand when she leaned into the touch, letting her eyes softly close, giving her a relieved expression that locked his mind on the desire to kiss her.

And oh, hadn’t her felt just like he imagined. A quick brush of their lips got him tasting candy flavored lipstick and a whole lot of craving. Before any of them could overthink it, Drew pulled her close by the back of the neck, tangling his fingers on her soft curled locks. Their lips met with more intensity this time, just like two lovers who finally reunited after decades, lifetimes, centuries apart. Dee melted to his touch, giving him access to play with their tongues, a breathless moan slipping from her as he did. One of her hands rested lightly on his arm, encouraging to keep caressing her hair, and the other held tight to the neck of his shirt, pulling him impossible closer with every passionate move they made. The only thing stopping him from siting her in his lap for easier accesses was the public space they were parked at. Or so he thought. In need for more touch, more contact with her heat, his free hand wandered down her skirt, inciting Dee to push him back, grabbing his hand, and anxiously covering her legs. The expression on her face went from panic to anger for a split second, but Drew’s clenched jaw and fists made her turn away in barely disguised shame.

“Let me see it”

“Fuck off Andrew”

“If it’s no what I think then show me, Desiree. At least look at me and say it.”

“And don’t you dare try and lie, to me of all people.”

Almost unconsciously, Drew rolled up his sleeves and crossed arms on his chest. They were almost imperceptible under the numerous tattoos, but Dee knew where each one were. She could paint those strong arms from memorie, with all of its drawings, it’s marked veins, all of it’s faded scars. That’s why she couldn’t meet his eyes.

“It’s not like that. I didn’t mean to.”

Without a word, he started the car and headed to the residential part of town. Dee tried to make him say something, anything, to yell at her, voice his anger and disappointment. But he just looked forward, maintaining a vice grip on the wheel. It was only when they were under the car shelter that he finally spoke:

“I’m not angry at you Dee. More sad than anything. No, not with you, just…with the situation. Just.., C’mon, talk to me babe.”

Curled away at her seat, a million thoughts passed through her mind, but not a single one could make past her emotional block. She swore it wasn’t a big deal on the drive there, except now, under the gravity of Drew’s earnest concern, it all started feeling like too much. So much so that she couldn’t keep the tears from falling anymore. She heard a deep breath being let out next to her, then the driver’s door opening and closing loudly, making her jump. The mixture of feelings where flowing now, clouding her mind with guesses of what’s going on on his. She wanted to be ok, wanted to talk and explain herself, but she doesn’t want to be seen, doesn’t want to open up. More so, she wants to scream her anger, curse her friend for the judgement, for the betrayal.

As the passenger door opened and she made no sign of taking his hand, Drew caressed her hair down to the back of her neck, and met no resistance while carrying her close to him, with an arm on her back and another under her knees. Kissing her right above the ear, still with her face hidden on his chest, he felt her breathing slowing to a more healthy rhythm. Content, he whispered while taking her inside:

“That’s it baby, let me take care of you.”

[2023-records]

Day 8 __ Sun Jan 8

Recording this late...

It's tourny day! Suprisingly woke up with no back pain after sleeping on this firm memory foam mattress on the floor LOL

I woke up first and then woke Megan and Olivia up so we would still have enough time to get ready, drive 25 min to Long Beach, and warm up before our first game at 9am. Olivia ended up taking days and our eta was 8:45am, leaving us only enough time to park, pay for parking, put on our gear and jump straight into playing... I wasn't trying to trip too much about this limited time. I just turned on all of our butt heaters and blasted the heater. Olivia was bussing 90mph HAHAH and then I could feel Megan's annoyance of our tardiness in the backseat. Once we got in the gym, our on-time teammates told us that they changed the schedule and we were off the first round! Thank the lord.

We were placed in the small gym isntead of the large Walter Pyramid gym, but we eventually made our way there during playoffs. We were all suprisde that the B division pool matches were not that difficult... We definately could have competed in BB/A but probably wouldn't have won frist place. There were 4 our of 7 of us on the team that would switch between outside, middle, and opposite. This meant everyone still gets playing time in every game. It took me some time to figure out my spacial awareness while playing but I finally got the hang of it by the end of pool play. We got into playoffs and kept winning. I ended up playing middle in the finals but I did a pretty good job at slowing down hits, serving the other team off the court, and being a cheerleader! HAHA Although I wasn't playing my prefered position, I felt like I was still doing my part in helping my team in the most necessary way. I'm just glad I got to play with such an amazing group of women who all want to have fun and still put in all our efforts. It was nice that we could all laugh at our own silly mistakes but still bounce back and focus on winning together. I definately didn't feel this way with Dynasty, the previous SF team I played for.

I only cramped a little bit in my left calf during pool play. Once I felt this, I immedately took another magnesium pill, liquid IV, and kept massaging and stretching. I made sure to eat carbohydrate rich snacks in between every match, regardless of if I was hungry or not. I knew that it would help with avoiding cramps. I fianlly figured out how to avoid cramps during my tournament days now. Cramping would always ruin my focus and competitive drive.

Ching and Robin picked up Mama Lu's Dumpling House and brought it back to their house where the whole team came over to grub after a great team win. It was around 7:30pm and I knew that we would have to leave soon after eating and showering. We eneded up leaving Robin's aorund 10:30pm to charge the Tesla until 11pm. Oh boy was the ride home going to be a doozy. The car ride back to South San Jose to drop off Megan took 8 hours... The stops and also the rain slowed us down TENFOLD. On top of that, Olivia was drowsy the entire time and I couldn't get sound naps in since I was scared for my life that we would drive off the road. I tried to stay away to ask Olivia questions and make random conversation so that she could stay awake. At one point I couldn't take it anymore and fell asleep. I felt so bad for Olivia since she basically drank 2 Celcius energy drinks during this ride and they did nothing for her. We made it back to her place in Fremont by 7:45 am and I had to drive back up north to go home. I literally coudln't stay awake as soon as I got on the freeway and immediately felt nauseous. I had to call mikel to ask if I could nap on the couch in the living room. I wasn't expecting Mikel to wake up and I was so ready to sleep in my car parked in his neighborhood. Thankfully he picked up after the second call. I was struggling with exhaustion and hunger... I had basically been awake since 6:30am Sunday and it was 8am Monday. I had to muster up energy to eat the instant Pho before taking a nap. I cried because I was so exhausted and also missed Mikel so much. Although he was still getting over his covid symptoms, he was still able to take care of me :,( I felt so bad because his sore throat was really painful and I was probably acting so delirious. I slept from 9am till 2pm and woke up somewhat revived. I stayed over for the day and got to spend some time catching up with Mikel's parents too. As much fun as it is traveling, I always miss being by Mikel's side since he brings me such warmth and comfort. This weekend made me appreciate the people I currently have in my life even more. You could say it was a really "eye-opening" weekend.