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moonlit-imagines · 4 years ago

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Headcanons for being Jane Foster’s child

Jane Foster x child!reader

Thor Odinson x Foster!child!reader

warnings:

a/n: no not a foster child, jane foster’s child 😌 also im so super glad you liked those!!! hope these are just as good!!! and im genuinely so sorry these took so long

prompt: anonymous: “Hey! I just read the Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader HC and I loved it! Would you do the same but with Thor and Jane? ❤️”

no babysitter = go to work with mom

dr. selvig gave you a rubik’s cube to keep you entertained

“fuck that! here, y/n, you can play my DS” -darcy

“can you not swear in front of my child?” -jane

you thought tonight would be boring, but then your mom and darcy collectively hit a homeless guy with a car!

“holy crap, we’re all going to jail!” -you

“don’t say ‘crap,’ y/n! we need to get him to a hospital!” -jane

ngl this dude was kinda funky

darcy used her taser and your mom covered your eyes, but you still peaked ;)

ride to the hospital

“don’t touch him, y/n”

��sorry, doc”

and the very next day you guys stole him 💕

“mr. thor, where are you from?”

“i am from asgard! it is much different from this realm, but your’s is adequate, i suppose”

“thanks?”

you could see the way your mom looked at him, though

he ate all the pop tarts >:(

she gave thor her ex boyfriends clothes

“yeah, donald was a real ass—” -you

“don’t say ‘ass.’ darcy curses too much” -jane

“sorry, mom...anyways, donald forgot to pick me up from soccer practice like, a dozen times. he sucked” -you

“this ‘donald’ doesn’t seem like a very good man...also, what is ‘soccer?’” -thor

you grabbed a soccer ball and tried to show him how to play but there was some other stuff the *scientists* had to take care of

you were a regular at izzy’s diner (well, mom was) and they always made you cute pancakes in different shapes!!

“ah, it’s a smiley face! that’s adorable!” -thor

“yeah! they like to surprise me whenever i come in. they’re pretty awesome” -you

*your mom literally beaming at how good thor is with you already*

you and thor were drawing on paper placemats

and then he broke a glass and you started giggling hdhshshs

but he had to leave

“no, thor, please don’t go!”

“i hope to meet you again one day, little one. hopefully fate sees it through”

:((((

no time to be sad bc ur mom’s lab got hijacked by the government

“hey, no fair! that’s my diary!” -you

“sorry, kid. there are constellation drawings we have to observe” -coulson

“aw, you draw constellations? wait, not now. you can’t just take all our stuff. especially that! that belongs to a child!” -jane

“sic ‘em, y/n!” -darcy

“don’t listen to darcy, y/n” -selvig

chilling in the trailer and missing thor bc he was the most interesting thing to happen to you and your mom in a while

and you wanted her to be happy even tho he was kind of crazy

“hey, mom? do you want to watch the stars tonight like we used to do? we could make s’mores?”

“that sounds like a great idea, baby! i’ve gotta go take care of some science stuff, so i’ll pick up some s’mores stuff while i’m out. love you!”

yeah she went to go see thor and he kinda got arrested but your mom came back home so you could watch the stars!

“so, do you like thor?” -you

“what? what makes you say that?” -jane

“it’s cool if you do, i think he’s awesome. a little weird, but at least he’s nice”

then thor and selvig came home and selvig was drunk as a skunk

*poking him while he giggles and tells you about thor*

“i wish your grandfather could have met that guy! he would have loved him...i wish you met your grandfather, too” -selvig

thor inviting you back outside

“i’d like you to teach me more about this ‘soccer’”

by the time you guys were done, it was 3am and you were too pumped to go to sleep

so thor told you stories of his home and battle and family

you didn’t want him to stop, you were fascinated by it all

and uhhhh yeah then earth kinda had some vikings show up

they told you that you’d “make a fine warrior one day”

and then yall got attacked by a ????? a what??? a destroyer???????

“get y/n out of here now! they shouldn’t have to see this!” -thor

you were still nearby and saw thor become thor again

after he was done fighting the destroyer, you ran to give him a hug

“that was awesome! can i hold your hammer?”

“maybe someday, little one”

then you didn’t see him for 2 years

which upset your mom a good bit, you had to help her through that episode. lots of sitting on the couch and eating ice cream together talking about how he wasn’t worth her time even tho you missed him too

but he came back! and then your mom sent everything flying bc she had an “infinity stone” inside her and thor took you two to asgard

“y/n! you’ve grown so much, i almost didn’t recognize you!” -thor

tbh you really digged the outfit they gave you, but also you were on another planet? thor insisted on giving you a tour (by flying you around)

“i do hope you’re having fun, little one!”

worrying about your mom simultaneously bc you overheard she was sick

but asgard got attacked and you and jane were confined to a room in the palace, which sucked because you wanted to see it all

but thor sent guards to bring you anything to keep you entertained

“maybe we’ll skip the mace for now, thank you” -jane

after several events that count as child endangerment, this chapter came to an end and your mom and thor finally made it official

loki called you a rodent and then saved your life so you were kinda iffy about him

about a year or two later, your mom had to travel a great deal in order to get some work done, so you were left in the care of thor, who took you to avengers tower

“oh, my girlfriend’s child is an angel! and they’re so intelligent, just like their mother!” -thor gushing to other partygoers

“yeah, thor, your ‘angel’ is sneaking drinks from the elderly” -tony

*sipping his beer* “they’re a growing teenager”

you did have an amazing time interacting with the avengers

and once they tried grabbing the hammer, you knew you had to get in on it (but you failed like the rest)

“don’t worry, my y/n, you have to be eighteen years of age to be able to lift mjölnir!” -thor

“oh, that makes sense!” -you, while thor aggressively shakes his head at the other avengers. he just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel bad you weren’t worthy yet :(

more child endangerment but really what did you expect?

thor went off world and your mom split it off w him but you did have his email so you were still in contact with him

swearing you saw odin on the street once or twice (fast forward)

and then your mom dusted and thor found you as soon as he possibly could, it was so good to see him

he took you in since you were alone now, you moved to new asgard and became prince(ss) of the new land by relation?? makes sense right

basically you and valkyrie made all the calls while thor grieved for years

but he still took care of you

“y/n, would you like to play video games with me? i think it may be a good bonding experience, what do you say?” -thor

“duh!”

uncle korg made you help him with fortnite while thor was asleep

you wished to wield stormbreaker one day

showing thor earth media! his favorite star wars character is r2-d2 dont ask why

he taught you asgardian recipes and you taught him...earth recipes?

when he was drunk he’d ramble on about his childhood and battle and enemies and jane and loki and hela and frigga and literally anything that came to mind

“y/n, could you please get me a beer? and get one for yourself, too” -thor

valkyrie most definitely gave you some battle training so you you blow off some steam, you were glad she taught you how to fight like a true warrior

thor wanted to teach you battle tactics so you could fight alongside him, but he never got around to it

a raccoon and bruce banner visited later on, proposing a way to get your family back, thor was an emotional wreck

his debriefing on the reality stone was tense when he started crying about your mom and everyone stared at you

“hey, don’t look at me. i don’t control the god, i just keep him company”

ending up waiting 1 second for the avengers to come back from their mission, resulting in you being stuck in the middle of a very heavy battle

“y/n, get out of here!” -thor

“don’t worry, thor! valkyrie taught me a few moves!”

“you make me incredibly proud, little one!”

“i’m not so little anymore, am i?”

“you will always be my little one, y/n. blood or not, that will not change!”

victory, but at what cost? it was a rough ride, you needed to get patched up, but your mom was finally home and thor...he decided it was time to leave earth again

“don’t worry, my y/n. i will see you again.” *tearing up* “i’m so glad i got the pleasure of raising you these past few years. i love you dearly, now go be with your mother”

you straight up wanted to bawl your eyes out right there

“well, y/n, you’re next in line for the throne of new asgard. what is your first command?” -valkyrie

“actually, i think you’d make a much better ruler than me. i’ve got to spend some time with my mother now that she’s home”

“you’re so much like him, you know that?”

staying with your mother, who was diagnosed with cancer not long after returning from the soul stone (a/n: jane getting cancer is canon in the comics and confirmed for thor 4)

“i missed five years of your life and now i’m sick, that’s just our luck, isn’t it?” -jane

she was understandably upset, but she also felt guilty

“mom, don’t beat yourself up. everything is okay, we’re still together right now. i won’t be going anywhere, i promise”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck //

#thor odinson x child!reader #thor odinson x reader #thor odinson imagine #thor odinson #thor #thor x reader #thor imagine #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #avengers #jane foster #jane foster x child!reader #jane foster x reader #jane foster imagine

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littlemisslipbalm · 5 years ago

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“you get me” (famous!y/n x harry)

Famous!y/n x Harry Styles

First Harry fic so please be kind, but feedback is SUPER appreciated

Initially inspired by the picture of Harry leaving the Gucci store with 15 bags but barely has anything to do with that lol

Definitely thought of Ellen for the interview idk why tho - also I struggle with writing Harry’s dialogue because I really want to get it right, but hopefully the more practice I get, the better/more natural it will sound. ALSO i have like no music or music industry background lol. Somewhat proofread, but its 2:30 am so it could be shit

Fluff!

Warnings: maybe some angst over being famous per say, past loneliness

Word Count: 3.7k literally howwww, i’m going to do a pt. 2 though because it was kind of a long set up and feelingsssss

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Interviewer: Please, welcome our next guest, a woman who’s sure to have her name written up beside the music greats someday, Ms. Y/N L/N!

You can’t contain the grin that spreads to your face as you carry yourself out onto the stage and see the audience cheering for you. It was your third big interview since your first album had been released and you’d seen your fame skyrocket over night. This being the third one this week meant you’d gotten comfortable getting asked questions, but you also weren’t bored of it yet. It was exhilarating being the center of attention, especially for something that had been your life’s work up until this point. You always had to fight for whatever you got and the recognition you were starting to have was reassurance that you hadn’t been a fool to risk a safe and certain life for your dreams.

The interview begins as the rest had, a few pleasantries, how you were feeling, and then the introduction of the album. The host asked you what your inspiration was for some of the songs and the album name and cover. You loved to talk about the music, it was the whole reason you were there. The meaning, the sound, the name, it all meant so much to you and you talked about how music can be interpreted differently by everyone and even the shifts in someone’s mood can change a song’s meaning, but what it meant to you at the time of writing was always something specific. You practiced those answers in the mirror before the interviews because they were important to you and you didn’t want your words on your art to ever be misconstrued. The host then complimented your style and you were at the point where you thought your interview should be wrapping up when they asked you one more question, and it threw you for a loop.

Interviewer: So Y/N, we’ve been hearing some rumblings around, about you and another famous musician, Mr. Harry Styles. Anything going on there?

Your face heated up, you hadn’t been expecting a personal question about possible relationships. Nothing like this had been asked of you at your previous interviews. It’s about the music, the art, and who you were, it’s always about that and nothing more. To be honest, you were a bit annoyed the host had chosen to stray from those topics. You didn’t care for the celebrity side of being a famous musician, the lack of privacy, the prying eyes of media and the general public. They saw enough of you through your art, you bore your soul through music why did they want to peak into your heart as well?

Y/N: I don’t know if I’d rather be with Harry Styles or actually be Harry Styles. Like, he’s literally such an icon, I want to be able to walk out of a Gucci store after spending hours there with 15 bags full of my purchases and helpers to carry it all out c’mon… He’s also an amazing songwriter, musician, and performer, of course. Didn’t mean to sound superficial, but I’d also love to own even half of his closet.

You hadn’t really answered the question, but the audience laughed and the host obviously got the hint that you weren’t interested in fanning any flames of romance with Harry Styles or anyone else. For one, you didn’t even know the man, but you had always been a loving fan of his. You cited him as one of your role models when you were first starting to try and break into the music world. Second, if you did know him, that wouldn’t be an appropriate topic for your album press junket going on, even if it meant more publicity because of Harry’s big celebrity status. The host decided to qualify their original question with a final sentiment.

Interviewer: I totally feel the same way! I only ask because the outpouring of support you’ve received seems to be from similar groups who also follow Harry. Many have been comparing your sound to his solo career work.

Y/N: Ah...well that’s very kind of people to say. He’s definitely a big inspiration, his creativity and drive is incredible. I’d love to be as successful as him someday.

The interview ended. You and the host shook hands and you waved and sent kisses to the crowd before retreating backstage. You were exhausted, but happy. You hoped to avoid anymore stressful interview questions that didn’t truly revolve around music. Of course, life is never that simple.

One month later

You had done countless more interviews and talk shows as promo for your album and the buzz around it had continued to grow. Your fame continued to rise as well and that one question you had dodged at your third interview had come back around to bite you, naturally. Daily Mail’s dumb headline read: “Y/N can’t decide! Date Harry Styles or Steal His Closet?” The Sun was also running with your response and miscontruing it completely, something about how you were madly in love with Harry but jealous of his designer partnerships, you couldn’t even stomach reading the garbage. This was your worst nightmare. Not only was it taking away the focus from your album, but you were also sure this dumb gossip had reached the very set of ears that the gossip was allegedly also about.

You had signed with Columbia Records for your first album, the same record label as Harry Styles, so managers had been in contact with one another about the whole fiasco trying to get the actual truth - which was that the two of you didn’t even know each other and there were no problems whatsoever. Your manager also brought along the good news that Harry had actually listened to your album and loved it, “He said ‘Congratulations’ by the way, loved the sound. Said he’d heard you were very music focused and be open to do some mentoring on songwriting and vocal specifics, if you wanted. It’d have to be in private though, obviously.” She had added the last bit, but you understood why. To have the opportunity to discuss your music with one of your longtime role models, heroes even, was beyond anything you could have imagined coming from your album’s success. And it made the drama all the more palatable because now you at least got to talk to Harry like the media was so adamantly saying you were doing already.

You nodded quickly and agreed, while trying to keep your teenage fangirl excitement hidden below your mature now-famous musician facade. Like you said, Harry was your hero, he’d been your hero since you were in middle school and had Up All Night downloaded on your iPod touch, blasting it as loud as possible, sound hitting your poster-filled walls. You weren’t the same girl as you were then, obviously, you had grown up to be a strong, independent, and confident woman. But, you still smiled at the thought of your younger self with your baby face squealing in the nosebleeds at the Take Me Home Tour (where you swore Harry had looked straight at you) and her seeing you now, dressed in a sleek outfit setting up an appointment to meet with Harry to discuss your first album, a success.

The next Thursday evening

You took a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your pursed lips. You were anxious and excited at the exact same time. Your meeting with Harry was tonight, right now actually, and you hadn’t been able to think about much else since your manager had confirmed the meeting last week. She got you the details a couple of days ago, the location: his house in Malibu, the time: 5:45 P.M. You had brought along a copy of your album on vinyl because you thought it sounded best this way, second only to performing it live.

Choosing your outfit for tonight was probably the toughest decision you’d ever made, harder than choosing between an education and following your dreams, harder than choosing your favorite Beatles song. You didn’t want to worry so much, this wasn’t a date you kept reminding yourself, but everything you tried on earlier kept having something wrong with it, too dressy, too boring, too ‘not yourself’. You had settled for these blue high-waisted pants that you’d worn to your first ever podcast interview, a thin black long sleeve, and a brown leather coat that fell below your hips with vans sneakers, casual, simple, yet still true to you and your vibe.

You raised your free arm and formed a fist, hesitant to knock, as if you’d damage Harry’s seemingly perfect Malibu beachfront home by knocking too hard on the wooden front door. You waited a few moments and could here some shuffling behind the door, some incoherent words were seemingly said, but the walls muffled them before they could reach for ears. Soon enough, Harry Styles in the flesh was before you. He beamed down at you, huffing, slightly out of breath as if he had been clear across the house when you knocked. His strong figure towered above your far smaller stature. He was hanging onto the door since he had opened it only slightly. “Hello, Y/N?” he greeted and questioned simultaneously. “Hi,” you responded and extended the same hand that had just rapped against his now open door. He gripped it, ushering you into his home, “Come in, come in, it’s nice to meet you, don’t want you to catch a cold now do we?” He took note of your strong handshake and ring clad fingers.

He walked you into an area between the kitchen and a sitting area. The kitchen was open aside from a bar high top between the two rooms. You sat down at his prompting and made yourself comfortable. “I brought my record on vinyl, sounds best in my opinion, otherwise I’d recommend seeing it live,” you laughed as you handed the vinyl to him and took off your coat. “Technically, y’know, I could hear it live right now, if you were willin’ f’course,” Harry had responded over his shoulder as he placed the vinyl by his idle record player, “Anything to drink?” “Just water for me, please.” His accent was even stronger in person, especially since he had moved back to London and seldomly stayed in California, except for business and quick trips. As far as you knew, he had already been here on business for the week and was able to pencil you in.

You two settled in, with your waters, seated at the bar top beside each other, but swivelling the chairs to face one another more. Again, you were overwhelmed with the reality of the situation, sitting beside Harry Styles as professionals, peers even. He had heard your work and liked it enough to want to discuss it with you. It was a day you never thought would come to pass. He started off not by asking about the music right away, but about how you were doing with the whirlwind that stardom is. “How are you, Y/N? It’s been somewhat of a out of the frying pan into the fire kind of moment for you?” He stared at you intently, caring to hear your answer.

You couldn’t help but chuckle again and contain your smile, “Thank you for asking, Harry. Yeah, its been definitely stressful, but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more so the good is still outweighing any bad. Definitely, fucking exhausted though, dunno how many more interviews I can do before my jaw goes completely rigid from talking so much.” It’s Harry’s turn to laugh, his eyes shone with intrigue at what you said and how you said it. You were gorgeous, but it was how your hands helped you through what you were trying to say and the small laughs you tried to keep in while you amused yourself with your words that really made him want to hear you talk all night long.

He agreed about how the promo junket for an album can get tedious and tiresome, but also the absolute fulfillment you get from people loving the music you’ve made. The two of you chatted about surface level personal matters for a little more, but quickly moved to the music. “I took a listen a couple weeks after the album was released. I especially loved the last track. It reminded me so much of a song I never released, actually…” he trailed off.

Your final track had been a ballad, an homage to George Harrison with your use of guitar and sitar, but the lyrics were a story based off of a poem you had written one night in high school. It surrounded a girl never feeling quite good enough for the person she wanted to be with and how it happened everytime, everytime she was ready to giver herself to someone, they were always closed off. Of course it held some truth to your own life and feelings, but you wrote this girl as someone with a seemingly perfect life - when yours was obviously far from any semblance of perfection.

You wondered what Harry’s song would have sounded like, had it been about a seemingly perfect girl or a guy with a seemingly perfect life, always giving himself to the wrong person and getting destroyed by that very fact because he was impatient as the girl in your song had been. “Can I ask, how so? How’d it remind you of your own song, the words or the music?” “Oh, the story, I felt like that for a time in my life and I like to be vulnerable in my songs because it helps me process, but listening to it back has always been too painful. Could never release that or perform it, it’d wreck me.” You nodded, you completely got where he was coming from. You noticed his downcast eyes and his somber tone, you knew not to push it any further.

It was quiet and you decided it’d be okay to take his hand resting between the two of you. “Harry, I understand,” your sincerity spilled into the words, filling the quiet house, “It’s not easy. Feeling that way. Thinking you’re the only goddamn one and why the fuck does it always happen to you? I used to ask my ceiling ‘why me?’ every night of high school” you smiled then. “But you know how it is,” you rubbed your thumb over his large warm hand and he lifted his head, “it gets so much better - c’mon look at us now! It can get hard, too, all this, I’m sure. But our lives? They’re amazing!” He beamed as he had when he had first seen you at his door and when you’d first really spoke. He moved his hand from under your palm to weave your fingers with his, both of your hands with covered in rings and they clinked to fit together, finally resting perfectly fitted. He shook your two hands up and down, “God, you’re so right! That damn song, m’sorry always puts me in a mood,” he shakes his head, “not yours though, f’course, s’lovely, better than my sodding song” he finishes quickly.

After that, the mood lightened right back up. It filled you with such appreciation for Harry that he would trust you so much with such a personal detail since you two had just met. But maybe, he had trusted you because he had felt that same spark between you. It wasn’t necessarily a romantic spark, but it was obvious the two of you were kindred spirits. Besides your album, the two of you talked about everything. You loved the same bands, movies and books, you both loved to cook and had similar fashion taste, you even had the same person type - something you found out late into the night.

At the end of the Side B of your album, Harry switched to a Bill Evans record that had ‘Peace Piece’ on it. You loved that song. So did he. “So...planning to raid my closet?” Harry raised his brows from the record player and walked back to you. You almost sputtered the water in your mouth. Luckily, you got it down. “Pardon?” “All that bad press the two of us have been getting...I watched the interview that kind of ignited the tabloids. You’re obviously not used to those overstepping personal questions.” You nodded. “It’s fine, even if you’d completely shut it down, the tabloids probably would have picked it up still, they snap up anything and everything, true or not.” You softened at his reassurance. You hadn’t expected Harry to bring the interview up, but you were sure he wasn’t happy about it, he was so private, especially about his love life. “Thanks, I’m sorry I tried to laugh it off, kind of made it worse, didn’t I?” “No! Thought it was hilarious and I totally appreciated the sentiment. Little ol’me, an icon? And an amazing artist? All I gotta do is watch that clip and I’ve fed my narcissistic side for the week!” You giggled and replied slyly, “So does that mean I can raid your closet? As compensation, of course.” Harry threw his head back in an all consuming laughter, when he’d composed himself he looked in your eyes again and said, “You just...God, you get me.”

Harry had continued to put records on throughout the night, diligently flipping sides and asking for requests, he of course had an extensive collection. The two of you had moved onto his plush couch that looked out his french doors to the beautiful ocean view. Finally, your exhaustion caught up to you, mid-Harry describing his latest travel fiasco, you glanced up at the clock. You gasped. Harry stopped. “When did it get to be half 12?” you questioned almost incredulously, “I’ve gotta get home, Harry, but this has been truly amazing, more than I could have asked for, so thank you.” Your speech began to rush as you started to get up and gather your things, that had slowly scattered as you’d gotten more comfortable, jacket by the table, shoes around the back of the couch, your phone forgotten somewhere in the couch. You couldn’t believe you’d spent almost seven hours just talking with Harry Styles.

Harry quickly stood up from his relaxed positioned on the couch and asked if you were alright to drive this late. You scoffed, “Oh please, I’ve driven around at 3 am before, I just have to turn up the music and I can cruise.” He smiled, “This was great, Y/N, I know we didn’t really go super in depth into your writing process, but I’d love to write with you sometime or just hang out again f’course. Your seriously talented and obviously a wonderful person.” He didn’t include that he felt like he’d never met anyone like you, never met someone so perfectly matched to himself, in passions but also in work ethic and demeanor - compassionate yet confident. He felt like you got him perfectly and he got you. You had stopped your scramble to gather yourself and now you were both smiling at one another.

This had really been an unforgettable night, you couldn’t believe how well you two had meshed, like childhood friends reconnecting after years apart. “Can I give yeh a hug before you go?” Harry’s voice had grown raspier as the night had progressed. He had grown rather tired an hour ago, but had pushed through because they had been having so much fun and you hadn’t noticed his physical fading or the time, obviously. You stepped toward him and his large tattooed arms enveloped you into his body. His body truly dwarfed yours now as he held you to his chest. You both were warm and soft. He tucked his head on top of yours that rested on his chest. Your arms were loosely resting where his back met his waist because you would have had to strain to get them to encircle him. His arms rested around your small frame. “Love your jacket,” he mumbled into your hair. His rough voice was quiet, but the house was silent otherwise, Tusk Side C had finished around when you had noticed the time. The embrace lasted long, but it felt so amazing you had a hard time pulling yourself away, but you had to get back home.

“G’night Harry” you said softly at the threshold of his home. He had insisted on walking you to the front door at least, since you had declined his offer to walk you out to your car on the street. “G’night. Safe travels.”

You got in your car and headed to your apartment in the city. You didn’t bother digging for your phone so you turned on the radio and drove home singing whatever came on, including your own song at one point. The whole time you drove with a grin. Harry was the nicest person you’d ever met and you were confident that the two of you were friends now. As you pulled into your parking garage it dawned on you why you hadn’t connected your phone immediately when you got in your car. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” you put the car in park and rested your palms in the depressions of your eyesockets, over your closed eyelids, and rubbed hard. “Fuck!” It was far too late to drive back out to Malibu for your phone and you obviously couldn’t text Harry that you’d left your phone at his place, despite the two of you exchanging numbers during the night for future hang outs, so they didn’t have to be arranged through your managers, like playdates. Even if he found your phone between the cushions, he couldn’t drop it at your place in the morning because he didn’t know your address. This was a whole mess, you thought. You’d have to drive over in the morning and hope he was still there or email your manager from your computer. The former meant you got to see Harry sooner and likely your phone, too.

part 2

@berrynarrybanana

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #har #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fan fic #I DID IT #I sat down and wrote it #and it took forever #and I need to write a second part but I made something coherent #one direction fanfiction #not my gifs #my writing #I love you h #you get me #my writings

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thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole · 1 year ago

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ACTUALLY MY HEART ASKED FOR THIS AND YOU ANSWERED. hi kristin i love you this post was a joy to read and now im going to make it even longer by tagging my responses on instead of making my own post. true friendship is destroying everyone elses dashboards with our fanfic answers <33333

1 - How many works do you have on Ao3?

15 on Ao3 and quite a few more who exist only in the google docs for now! Because I have been too lazy to post them <333

2 - What's your total Ao3 word count?

114,087. which come to think of it I'm really proud of????? I didn't know I wrote that much and that's like, not even all of the fic I've written for this fandom, that's pretty cool :)

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

Honestly, I only write for The Starless Sea now, and maybe someday there'll be some other fandom that inspires me enough to write about it, but I don't honestly know when or if that's going to happen. I feel like I could write for lifetimes about these characters. I used to write a lot of fandoms in my younger childhood tho lol- my last big fandom, which I was on Wattpad with, distressingly, was The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken, which is also why I joined Tumblr and I still definitely have mutuals from there, shoutout to yall. I also wrote very cringy School for Good and Evil, Wings of Fire, Percy Jackson, Ever After High, and Dragonriders of Pern fanfic when I was little those were the DAYS my god I handwrote that shit in notebooks my family gave me

4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Safe Forever, Boyfriend Material, Cherry Blossoms, Like Home, and Where the Stars Curve, in that order! I'm not shocked those ones all slap and Dorian cries in the top one lmao

5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Honestly, I usually don't, for the simple reason that most of the comments I get are from friends who are already in my Discord server and with whom I've already talked about the fic there. Sometimes if someone (cough cough Kristin cough cough) leaves a very in depth comment about the fic and says things that either we haven't talked about or that are so interesting that I want to talk about them again, I'll respond. Sometimes when my heart is particularly warmed by a comment I'll just respond in hearts. And on the rare occasion I get a comment from someone I don't already know, I also aggressively invite them to the Discord lol

6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Listen, man. none of them. I am a sucker for a happy ending. All of my fics, other than the Rollins AU, are short, often hurt/comfort or just plain fluff, and end in softness and safety and comfort and joy; my only full-length project that actually tells a complete story also has a happy ending, and is meant to be an uplifting and hopeful kind of story. So yeah none of them lol

7 - What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, like, all of them, I would have to say. But for this one the Rollins AU is actually definitely the correct answer- it really is the only fic of mine that has a real and true ending because it's a real and true story, rather than a snippet of a life being lived, as the rest of mine are. They actually go through a journey and an experience in this story, and by the end of it they're together and working things out and their lives are significantly improving and everyone is happier than they were before. I personally was hugely emotional over that particular happy ending lol

8 - Do you get hate on fics?

Not in the slightest, ever. The Starless Sea fandom are a bunch of angels, truly, Kristin wasn't lying. I am so lucky to be in such a kind fandom <333

9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Legally no? Lol there are some unreleased forbidden chapters in my google docs, from some of the aus that either are being written or are someday going to be written. i guess y'all will just have to wait til next august when i turn eighteen lol

10 - Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not in my Starless Sea era. Back in the old days, I have no idea, I wrote a lot I think- because I didn't so much think of my fanfiction the way I do now, it was just stories I was writing, and I could take characters or worlds from whatever the fuck I wanted. The concept of fanfiction kind of changed that I guess, though I did dabble in crossovers after that.

11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Lol imagine? No I've never written a fic that I can even imagine getting stolen, my fandom is so small. What happened with that bit of Fateheart for Kristin was bizarre though lol

12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?

LMAO IMAGINE? that'd be rad

13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet...but someone is threatening to...Starless Sea 4 look out...................

14 - What's your all time favorite ship?

I fear my answers to these questions are becoming boringly similar to Kristin's but yes OBVIOUSLY Zachary and Dorian, though their iterations in AUs (namely the Rollins AU lol) are included in that. Second place has to go to Owain and Stephen from Mags's WIP. They have my heart forever <33333

15 - What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It's funny, a couple months ago I would've said the Rollins AU. Now I'm not sure. That was my clear favorite among every WIP until it suddenly wasn't a WIP anymore, and now...I don't know? Part of it is that I have a lot more belief now that I actually can and will finish some of my other longer WIPs. I want to finish Knights Who Break Hearts and Hearts Who Break Knights and i doubt i ever will, lol.

16 - What are your writing strengths?

mmmmm sometimes i write and its good ?????????? I don't know I find it very hard to quantify strengths. Like that's genuinely it sometimes I write something and I'm like wow shit man that slaps and I don't know why or how and probably will not be able to reproduce it lmao

17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

mmmmmm inconsistency. my ability to complete anything, even short fics, is strained at best. the Rollins AU is the only longterm fic project or writing project of any kind, fandom or not, that I've ever finished or even come close to finishing. I have loads of really short fics that i haven't even managed to finish. my writing ability is fickle and comes in random bursts. also I am simply lazy at constructing intricate plots, i'm good at emotions and drama and fluff and hurt/comfort (i'd like to think) but part of why I struggle with longer things is that even when I have a plot idea that looks good from afar, plotting details and making it complex enough to become a lengthy writing project is something that often falls apart when i look at it too closely. so there's that

18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

honestly I am simply too lazy. i do use other language petnames in fics sometimes, specifically i have made many google searches and internet investigations of arabic petnames for dorian to use for zachary and i probably have a list somewhere lol- also we in the discord server made a general list of favorite endearments in varied languages for the same purpose, because dorian would be definitely calling zachary all sorts of random cute shit from every part of the world and we happen to have a lot of international friends on the discord server who have contributed to that <3333

also shoutout to kristin and your example for this question that i could place instantly for the fic and scene its from. tabs my beloved <333333333

19 - What's the first fandom you wrote for?

Oh good lord. I can't say for certain because ive been writing fanfiction ever since i could write, but prooooooobably percy jackson? i wrote a lot of very fluffy solangelo fic back in my day, didnt post it anywhere because i wasnt online at all back then except for like, to google search fanart of them lol. google image results were my tumblr babeyyyyyyy. but this does prove one crucial thing about me which is that my love for hurt/comfort and fluff is an innate part of me and not learned from anywhere, i was writing hurt/comfort and beyond that daydreaming it for fictional characters since before i even knew that fanfiction, as a concept, existed. and i knew it was its own special thing to me. <33 shoutout to solangelo for being the first My Boys to ever exist

20 - What's your favorite fic you've written?

THE ROLLINS AU. it is probably my least popular fic because it's weird as fuck and like, why, did i even write it, and its not only very niche and random and has a very debatable premise that is probably not appealing to the majority of my fandom but is also so long that to devote oneself to it enough to finish would be a big ask. but it's also the closest to my heart. started as a crackfic joke between me and kristin and slowly developed in the only organic, real outlining process that i feel has ever worked for me, until finally it was a heartfelt story about change and identity and becoming yourself and the people who stick with you on the way. while ALSO being the goofiest most ridiculous piece of fanfiction i probably will ever write. i wrote the first four or five chapters over like six months and then banged out the last like ten over like twenty days during nanowrimo and finished it in a flurry of emotions after coming home from the closing show of my last high school musical. i think about zach and donnovan almost as much as i think about zachary and dorian and am currently writing a christmas spinoff about them because i literally cannot let go of these particular iterations of these characters. they mean the entire world to me. five people, i think, have read it all the way through, just five, and i feel more love for it from them than i feel for the fics that ive got 20-30 kudos on on ao3. i wrote every single word of it for my favorite fanfic author and best friend. i dunno, man. the rollins au is what ill probably now remember forever as the fic that changed my life.

im not tagging anyone lol but to anyone who has read this do it! its for you <33333

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Literally nobody asked for this, but hey that's the joy of tumblr - talk about what you wanna talk about, and fic writing is important to me! So I've taken it upon myself to do these questions that have been swimming around and if you're reading this, that's an open invitation to do the same lol.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

19 on my current Ao3 account. There's an old account kicking around somewhere with a handful more, but they're sort of orphaned.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

622,253k words, so the statistics page tells me. Again, current acc only.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Starless Sea is my main baby, (the book by Erin Morgenstern). I also write Harry Potter fic, have threatened to (and may yet) write Twilight fic, and will happily write fic for anything if I feel strongly enough about the story! And, of course, back in the day, really, really bad One Direction fic lol.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Fateheart: A Starless Seaquel by far and away the top

2. Firebug Book I: Chiân Maeroris and the Secret Library of Fire

3. The Asset of Loneliness

4. Firebug Book II: Chiân Maeroris and the Monster of Slytherin

5. Nightmares apparently! Did not realise that ahaha

This was different to sorting by hit count, which is interesting! Hits wise number 5 would be Flowers <3 my beloved.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! Not like, strictly - there are plenty I have left unanswered, but if they ask a question or leave a thoughtful comment I'm more often than not gonna respond. I've made genuine friends that way, and it's a lovely way to engage with the fan community.

Particularly as I primarily at the moment write fic for a very small fandom where basically everyone knows each other - we have a discord and I will often personally invite a commenter to join the discord if they are new, but even past that these stories mean so much to me and I have historically just been so DESPERATE to talk about them that actually sometimes a really excited comment signals someone who is gonna be a great friend to get excited with about it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooph that's a good quebbin. Probably the second Firebug book? Monster of Slytherin. I mean, that series is designed to get darker and darker, so it leaves quite a few things intentionally unresolved, and the main characters in significantly worse predicaments to where they started.

God I gotta finish that series.

Also one person got really rather upset with me about the ending of Fateheart, ranting for a GOOD long while about how painful the ending was, but I think the general consensus there is that, yes, even though it comes at a cost, the ending is overwhelmingly a satisfying conclusion?? I think??? I think it's a good ending lol.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Fateheart hahahaha. Hmm I mean, this is hard to quantify, right?

I have a saying about fic, which is 'the deeper the break the deeper the catharsis' which only works when both are done well, but I think you could argue that the greatest catharsis - and therefore the fic where the ending is happiest compared to the narrative lows, would be A Heart That Won't Break. But only someone who has literally lost the plot would name that a happy fic.

Probably The Ugly-Sweater-Verse, by measure of how warm and cosy the end makes you feel, but it's too much of a one-shot really to have had time to develop enough narrative to even really have an 'ending', structurally speaking. I'm way overthinking this.

How 'bout Flowers, coz they have really good sex. There.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nah, not really. One or two people really like picking apart the plot holes in my Harry Potter fic, but I think picking apart Harry Potter is something of an international passtime. Also one comment I remember from years ago said something like "this is riddled with inconsistencies but your writing is awesome so I don't care" which is hilarious. Shoutout that commenter. I swear to god I'm gonna deal with the veritaserum problem in the next book if it ever gets written.

Nobody's said anything close to mean on any Starless Sea fics, but we all pretty much know each other and a nicer group of people you could not hope for <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Mm, more than I used to!

There is a standing joke amongst our little fandom that my 'smut' is outstandingly not smutty - I think I write erotica, rather than smut. Which, like. Hard to judge. But anything sexually explicit in my writing is usually so whimsical and figurative that it hardly constitutes smut even when it is like overtly gay sex lmao.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Hmm, I haven't, but I would absolutely one day. I had an idea a while ago called the Seinfeld Glory Meld or something which was an episodic fic series in which a set of characters from a show or a movie or anything would suddenly find themselves in a specific setting following a certain storyline and each time it would just slowly morph into an episode of Seinfeld, except that all the characters would keep returning and they would be sentiently aware that they were trapped inside the show Seinfeld and it was hilarious and I think i had a fever at the time of coming up with this and I will never write it but I remember meticulously outlining it to my brother over like 83 messages lmao.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

YES. It was weirdly upsetting, but also just very, very strange? Like exactly a chapter and a half of Fateheart got reposted by somebody - and like, it wasn't even a particularly coherent chapter and a half? Like, it's not like it was a portion that made sense on its own. I was half inclined to think it was a bot somehow, except that they did all the tagging and even wrote a description about it being like "A short exploration of life after the end of the book. Enjoy!"

It felt really shitty and they disabled comments, but I reported it to Ao3 and like 3 months later they did in fact get back to me saying yeah, that was obviously stolen, and removed it. god bless the Ao3 team.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Aw not as yet, but a very sweet friend of mine on our discord has been working on translating bits of Fateheart into Italian! That is a HUGE undertaking and I don't evny them lol, but I am so, so flattered that they even wanted to try, and it will be SO cool to see any parts they finish!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! Though I am threatening to... Starless Sea book 4 look out

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Mm the Interceptor from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Just kidding it is Zachary and Dorian from The Starless Sea.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ouufhgjhg I am kinda feeling this way about all my major fics right now - I have a rule of not posting something unless it is completed, so these aren't up even though they both exist at about 2/3rds - Fever Pitch and Lotus Flowers.

I do, however, know that I care enough about the characters from The Starless Sea to actually finish these though.

Unlike the Firebug series. Which I really hope to return to one day, because the whole 7-part book series will be KILLER, but let's be real who knows if it's ever gonna happen. A 7 part fic series of full length books is nutso ambitious.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mmm, I'm very good at character development, and I have a natural prose style that is evocative and descriptively rich. I am fortunate enough to have been mentally steeped in very good writing ever since I was a wee babbie so texturally that is easily reciprocated.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Ach. I am literally so bad at being concise. I cannot do it. Look at the word count for any of my major fics. The ones I consider short stories are novel length. The ones I consider full length works are 3 books' worth of words.

Tried to write an outline for an AU recently and the document hit like 20 pages. Good job me. I was writing a full scene with dialogue by the middle and just never finished the outline lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I do this occasionally, but only to the effect of adding one or two words in a native tongue, and never without also providing translation. Not in a clunky way, either - not a fan of anything that breaks the prosodic mode, like a parenthetical translation or a footnote or something - but equally it doesn't have to be a diegetic translation. I think there's usually a comfortable middle ground.

For instance I most often use Arabic terms of endearment between Zachary and Dorian, and the types of scenes where it comes most naturally also lend themselves to repeating it and answering it in a way which makes it clear if not what word exactly is being said, at least what that word means here.

Other than that I default to like, '"yo my Cantonese is shit" he said in Mandarin'. Don't assume a reader reading in English is familiar with anything else unless you have contextual reason to do so.

But also, obfuscating the meaning intentionally because the characters also don't speak that language can be a fun gimmick.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

One Direction. lmao. Well, that's the first fandom I ever posted fic on the internet for. If we're counting me scribbling stories in my special notebooks under the covers at age 10 then probably Garth Nix's Old Kingdom series. Lirael forever.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Fateheart: A Starless Seaquel just in terms of like, how much that story has changed my life. The community it has helped build, the friends it has brought into my life, and the way it absolutely launched me headlong into the development of a world and a timeline in this story that I am now fully committed to seeing through in a way which will take me several years of creative work.

Possibly The Man Named Sky is up there, as is Death in the Valley (I have found my groove with the short novella-style standalone stories), and I am really proud of the Firebug books, though the best is yet to come there. But I think I'm really, REALLY proud of A Heart That Won't Break. I think it is quietly, secretly one of my best pieces of writing maybe ever.

This was fun to do. Nobody tagged me, but I'm gonna tag @thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole, fellow Starless Sea fic-writer extraordinaire and one of my faves.

ANSWER THESE FIC QUEBBINS <3

#tss #the starless sea

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mrhrmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 4 years ago

Note

Hiii could I please get bnha & haikyuu matchup? Preferably with males pls. My pronouns are she/her. I am 5’4, an ambivert and a Latina. My enneagram is type 4. I have pale skin, mid-length brown wavy hair with bangs, and hazel eyes. I am described as someone who comes off as cold or aloof when I’m around people I don’t know. After getting to know me, I am the complete opposite. I’m just a bit shy at first lol. My friends have told me that I give good advice but like to joke about my stubbornness. I like to make people laugh and try to make the best of any situation. However I have a hard time expressing my emotions. I’m also described as easy going and fun to be around. I also love animals especially dogs.

I am a hip hop dancer and love to perform. Dance to me is very freeing and I'm usually dancing anywhere anytime haha. I choreograph a lot as well. I also enjoy reading could vary from manga to non-fiction. I love music especially hip hop, rap, & reggaeton. I also love to write music/poetry. At one point I was composing 2-3 songs a day but lately I've lost my creative streak. I never show anybody though since I’m really shy about it. I'd love to one day tho! I can be playful and love to tease my friends. I also really like to eat and travel. I am a bit of a homebody but I enjoy hiking because of the exercise. I really enjoy having deep conversations. I can’t stand people who bully others and people who are fake. I like to be honest and helpful in any way I can. My style is usually anything comfy/casual and I don’t really like wearing skirts or dresses. I speak English and Spanish (learning Japanese & Portuguese). I would love to learn ASL and Hawaiian one day as well. I enjoy watching crime investigations, probably one of my favorite things to watch.

I don’t really any fears, just not being able to accomplish my goals/dreams. I tend to daydream a lot and I’m also a big procrastinator 😭. I'm usually in my head a lot which tires me a bit. Alone time for me is definitely important. I would say my love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. I’m usually really cold towards the person I like lol. Only because I test the waters to see if I should spend time and energy on them. I tend to be a bit jealous/possessive, not in an unhealthy way though. Just wouldn’t match with someone who is very flirty with other people lol. What I look for in a partner is someone that is selfless, mature and has depth to them. Also if they are really accepting because I’ve never had that growing up. I'm a bit touch starved lol. Thank you so much 💖💗💕

tl;dr Hinata Shoyo thinks your really cool and supports your goals/you in general fully. Tamaki Amajiki thought you were scary at first, but once you warmed up to each other he ally admires you, and thinks your cute.

Hope this is alright, still new to the whole matchup thing:

Haikyū!!:

I give you…One Shoyo Hinata

He may not always be the most mature person, even in the Haikyū timeskip, but he makes up for it in other ways.

You would probably meet after his first year, probably sometime between end of his second-timeskip around 2018.

Really depends on where you are, I won’t go to into detail seeing as some people might not want spoilers, I will put any spoilers down below the cut at the end of this.

If it’s during high school still, you might be a new manager for Karasuno, or even the manager of another team they are having a practice match with.

Just some things…:

> would love that you can speak multiple languages, he thinks it’s so cool that you can communicate to all kinds of people, and he’d probably ask you to teach him a little bit as well

> he probably wouldn’t care if you were ever distant/cold, he understands that it takes time for people to warm up to each other, (Kageyama, Kenma even, good examples there)

> if you told him/he saw/you showed him your dancing, he would probably be open jawed thinking stuff like “that- is so freaking cool!!!” yeah- mental exclamation marks.

> if you showed him how to do a couple moves? amazing, he’s gonna brag and go show his teammates tomorrow at practice what he learned how to do

> sometimes he can be a bit energy draining, but if you tell him you need alone time? he understands completely and will give you your time (might be a bit impatient in waiting for you to send him a message saying hi but he respects that all fully.)

> this dude would be so freaking supportive of you- I will go more on this below the cut for manga spoilers- but he’d just think your one of the coolest people ever

> if you do warm up to him, and decide “this is alright” he’d smile so big and just- hug you so tightly because he’s so happy you feel comfortable around him

> being the kind of person he is, he totally understands you wanting to pursue your dreams. he’d support you, your hobbies, all of it.

> if you told him about your song writing + that you’ve been a bit out of it in your writing he would beg you to let him read or hear some of your work (if you said no he’d understand but he’d still in his mind hope someday maybe you would), he’d ask if you wanted him to try and give you some inspiration, his first answer being “Volleyball!”

> he’s so freaking cuddly once he knows if your comfy with that, he’d hug you, hold you hand, all of that

> start of your relationship he’d definitely be blushy and a bit shy (girls though amiright?)

> he’d watch crime shows with you for sure, he might not share the same love for them, but he loves to cuddle up with you to watch them, he might play with your hair, he just likes to be near you to be honest

> he just thinks your freaking cool and really pretty

BNHA:

Ah hmmm…I give you one Tamaki Amajiki?

Its quite the flip around from Hinata but hear me out….

You are probably also a hero-in-training. You might training to be a more rescue based hero, knowing multiple languages you’d be good at containing a scary situation/containing the crowd. Good at calming people down to evacuate or get to safety..

When you meet to be honest he thought you were scary, shivering in his shoes,

as he gets to know you though, whether it’s from observing you or because Mirio or Nejire have tagged you along with them so he had no choice really-

he finds your not all that scary! The other too can be exhausting so you might drift off towards him for a chiller vibe…

Just some things:

> you’d probably bond over food a bit, and both having the want to stick up for others, (or a dislike for meanies).

> it would take a while for you Both to warm up to each other much/fully, but when you do its quite great

> A slower relationship for sure I think, even once your both more comfortable with each other, not a whole lot of affection at first though

> if you first initiated any affection (verbal or physical), he’d probably be a blushing mess, don’t worry though, he finds it easier to show not tell, so once you’ve talked about it to each other and he’s gotten reassurance from his friends, he’d probably be much more affectionate

> probably lots of comforting, cuddles, not a lot of public affection- he’d rather keep it behind closed doors. when your alone he loves to hold you hand or just pat your head, mostly small things but baby steps matter

> if you tell/show him your dancing he might be intimidate, he’d think it’s cool but he’d definitely have a little bit of a mindset about you like he does with Mirio, he loves and supports your dancing fully though

> same with your writing- if you showed him he would probably think “oh well now i have to add to my list of reasons my s/o is amazing.”

> food dates + movies/tv shows probably, he’d watch crime shows with you, he thinks they are interesting, he mostly loves the look on your face when your doing/watching something you love

> definitely lots of comforting him when he’s anxious

> he likes it when you speak in languages he doesn’t speak, he also likes to try and mentally guess what he thinks your saying

> you both need your alone time, so he gets that and respects your space, he hopes you’ll do the same

> he really understands your want to fulfill your dreams and goals, and he really admires you and thinks your really cute.

this was a little rushed and I probably could have found better characters-

hope this is alright if you want a re-match I can do that for sure <3

timeskip!hinata/manga spoilers below the cut

if you meet after high school:

> you both can speak similar language! (assuming that in this made up universe you have already learned how to speak the rest on your list..)

> imagine that cuddly hinata- but better. it’s the timeskip beef all the characters got like—

> if you met/were together when he was doing beach training, he would definitely try and teach you a bit of beach volleyball/indoors as well.

>when he goes back to japan and joins msby? you probably moved over there with him, if not you can probably make a long distance relationship work just fine

> he would brag to his new teammates so freaking much about you too, especially about your dance skills and how many languages you speak

> he’s just really proud of you tbh

> he understands your want to succeed/ achieve your dreams/goals, I mean he moved to freaking Brazil to help him achieve his, so i think he definitely relates

#haikyu matchups #haikyuu!!#bnha matchups #bnha #tamaki amajiki #hinata shoyo

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kutemouse · 5 years ago

Text

Caught (Prologue)

Disclaimers: All “Save Me” webtoon and BTS MV/highlight reel/film references and plots belong to BTS and BigHit. Not sure who edited it or made it, but the “I’m Fine/Save Me” ambigram pic I used came from here. All pictures of Kim Taehyung belong to BTS and BigHit, I just edited them for my header. The picture of BTS came from Vogue Japan, I just edited it for my header. I got the Kim Taehyung Wings Film Gif from DannyBriz on Wattpad.

A Note from Kutemouse: Awwww, thank you for reading my stuff, @chocolatewolfuniversitytrash!

So, this sweet little mini series is inspired by several things… The movie 365 DNI, the Save Me webtoon, the BTS MV universe, and ideas I’ve come up with waaaaaay too late at night 😂 Honestly, I’m OBSESSED with the whole MV/highlight reel/wings films arc that started with The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Pt. 1, and I’ve ALWAYS wanted to write a story inspired by it. So, kutie pie @chocolatewolfuniversitytrash, thank you for allowing this dream to come to light.

About the non-con request, I was all like, “EEEERRRRRRMMMMMMMM idk,” because I’ve never written non-con and therefore don’t… know… if I’m comfortable with it…? I will attempt to do my best. Either way, I hope you like what has come out of my brain 😅

Also, thank you to @btssmutheaven for revealing my drafts (NOT REALLY, ILY) to @taemaknae for reading my shit and loving it, and to @kpopyandere for being the best unnie account and helping me realize I can write all the yandere ideas I want.

Age Recommendation: 21+ (this is NOT one for youngsters, kuties, and is MOST DEFINITELY NSFW)

Genre: Mafia!AU w/ BTS, Jailbird!AU w/ Taehyung, Yandere!BTS

Warnings: ALL THE WARNINGS. Just kidding, uh… Swears. There are minors in this section but they do NOT do anything sexual. I ain’t about that kinda life, y’all. F*ckboy Taehyung. Fluffy friendship. Angsty jealousy. Mentions of drug use and alcohol consumption (NOT by minors tho). Yandere themes including unhealthy obsession and possessiveness. Making out. No smut in this part, but it’s heavy af.

🚨TRIGGER WARNING. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH THE FOLLOWING.🚨

Mentions of abusive relationships, mentions of a parent abusing their child, mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of schoolyard bullying, mentions of a violent murder.

These are not fleshed out or detailed scenarios. When I say “mention,” I mean briefly discussed after it happened, not during, and definitely not in any detail whatsoever. You DO NOT have to read my work. You decide what you are comfortable with. All I want is for you kuties to be happy.

Word Count: 6.1k (WTF is this even allowed?!)

Summary: Kim Taehyung was the absolute love of your life… until he became a murderer. With him serving a life sentence in prison, you were finally free to live out the rest of your life however you wanted. Just when you thought you were at the top of your game, ready to take on the world, Taehyung reappears like a monster not even your worst nightmares could dream up. He gives you a year to fall in love with him, but now the question is, can monsters even be loved?

Master List

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Caught (Taehyung Series, Yandere, Smut, Angst) Prologue

I remember the first time I saw Kim Taehyung. We were both fifteen, just starting out in high school. Back then, I remember the way he lazily leaned against a locker with his arms crossed, seemingly waiting for someone. His hair was bleached a ridiculous bright blonde on the top and left brunette everywhere else. He had on dramatic, black eyeliner that served to accentuate his inky eyes, and he wore a studded leather jacket with his shirt and tie rather than the traditional uniform. Intrigued, I opened my locker and picked out my books for my next class, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

I saw him zero in on his target and take brisk, wide strides towards her as she twirled the combo to her locker. She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes as he caged her in by leaning down to whisper something in her ear. Suddenly, the hallway was filled with flirtatious giggles and I turned away, rolling my eyes. So he was one of those assholes.

I watched him do this with every single girl in our class. I swear, he had his routine down to a science. Chat her up, openly flirt, flirt some more until she caved in to whatever he desired, then drop her like a hot frying pan. It took a couple months for his interest to finally land on me.

“Hey.”

I didn’t bother to look up as I twirled the combination to my locker and popped it open.

“Hey,” he said louder.

I flicked a glance his way. “Do you need something?”

His eyes narrowed. “Do I look like I need anything?”

I huffed out a sigh. “What do you want, Kim Taehyung?”

He let out a snort, leaning against the locker next to mine the same way he’d done a thousand times with a thousand other girls. “So you know my name, but I don’t know yours. You’re new, right?”

“I transferred in at the beginning of the year,” I said impatiently. “And we’re in the same class, so you should know who I am.”

Taehyung’s lips curled up into a playful smirk. “Really? No, that can’t be right. I definitely would’ve remembered you.”

I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker shut, walking quickly away. Taehyung jogged to keep up. “Just tell me your name,” he insisted.

“Why?”

“C’mon, I’m just trying to make friends.”

I whirled around, stopping both of us in our tracks. “Friends? Is that what you’ve been doing with every other girl here? Just making friends?”

Taehyung smirked once more and took a step towards me. I don’t know why, but I took a step back. I should’ve held my ground, should’ve told him to fuck off right then and there. Instead, I let him back me up against the wall and entrap me within his darkened gaze, the same way he would for the next three years of our lives.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, his breath tickling the skin of my cheek. “We can be more than friends… but first, you have to tell me your name.”

I shoved him off me and practically sprinted down the hall, cheeks aflame with embarrassment. My peers and classmates who saw the exchange teased me for weeks afterward, no matter how much I kept my head down and avoided Taehyung like my life depended on it. It wasn’t until I heard him telling off some of the more tenacious gossipers I decided to give him another chance.

I tapped him on his shoulder as he stood in front of his locker. His eyes widened when he turned to see me standing there. “I’m L/n Y/n,” I said meekly. “And I wanted to thank you for what you said to those people.”

“You heard that?” he asked, the skin of his neck flushing pink.

I nodded.

“You’re welcome,” he said, tossing me a boxy grin.

That day, a seed was planted that eventually grew into a steady, beautiful friendship. A year later, I had come out of my shell quite a bit thanks to Taehyung, and I had a solid group of mates that I adored and relied on. Tae was my best friend, and I was his. Of course, we still got teased quite a bit about being a couple, but I figured we were both long past that.

Taehyung matured alongside our friendship. He stopped wearing thick eyeliner and sporting ridiculous hair colors, instead opting for a softer, more natural look with caramel brown locks and the unblemished glow of his slightly-tan skin. Gone were his dramatic, attention-seeking ways. His voice also deepened, dropping almost an entire octave. Yet despite all of his changes, he still stayed an absolute fuck-boy, shagging a new girl every other week. I came to realize it was all part of his personality, though, and I loved him no matter what.

The summer before our senior year was when I realized that love ran way deeper than friendship. We were at my best girlfriend Chaeyoung’s house when Taehyung stumbled in with yet another girl, his hair freshly dyed a bright cerulean blue. “Hey everyone!” he called out, slinging his arm around the girl’s shoulders. My smile faded as I looked over and noticed she was beyond gorgeous, with waist-length black locks that seemed to flow down the perfect curve of her back. I shuddered as a green monster reared its ugly head deep within me.

Taehyung was with that girl for a few months, which by his standards, was practically a lifetime. The entire time they were together, I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff about to swan-dive into devastating heartbreak. Each time I saw him kiss her, each time I saw him smile at her, each time I saw him lean over and whisper something in her ear, a piece of my soul shriveled up and died. I did my best to put my feelings aside, knowing I already had my chance and he would probably never look at me that way again. Even after they broke up, I kept my love for him tamped down and tucked away deep in the recesses of my heart, scared of ruining our friendship.

His break-up only served to draw us closer together, and slowly, without me realizing it, our friendship began to bloom into something more. Taehyung and I started to tell each other everything, including the messed-up secrets our home lives made us keep. One day, we were sitting in an empty classroom after school. I was trying to study, but kept getting distracted by Tae staring longingly out the window. “What’re you looking at?” I finally asked, putting my pencil down.

“Nothing,” he said simply. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About when we’ll finally get out of here.”

I smiled, my heart thumping a little faster. “We?”

He turned and tossed me his signature boxy grin. “Yeah. We. We’ll make it out of here someday, Y/n. I’ll get away from my bastard of a dad, you’ll get away from your selfish mother, and we’ll have a house in the country with big, open fields and plenty of space to finally fucking breathe.”

I smiled and stored those words away, using them to comfort myself whenever my mother and her asshole of a boyfriend wouldn’t stop yelling at each other, or worse, when they’d pass out on the couch, too drunk or high to stay coherent.

One night around three in the morning, my phone began to buzz and didn’t stop until I finally popped an eye open, fumbled around for it in the dark, and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?” I mumbled.

“H-Hey.”

I sat up. “Taehyung?”

“Y/n, I n-need your help,” he said shakily. It sounded like he was… crying?

I immediately got out of bed and pulled some jeans on. “Tae, it’s okay,” I said soothingly, trying to hide the panic I was feeling. I knew Taehyung’s home life was extremely hard. In fact, most of our home lives were terrible. The only two in our friend group who even came close to “privileged” were Chaeyoung and Jin, and that was because their parents had more money, not less problems.

I myself had plenty of issues. The reason my mother and I moved here when I was fifteen was to escape her abusive boyfriend, and even then, we still lived in constant fear of him finding us again. I guess that fear drove her into the arms of the first strong-looking man who looked twice at her, because her new boyfriend, Manseok, seemed to fit the same abusive pattern. At least he didn’t hit her when he was sober.

I wasn’t exactly sure how terrible Taehyung’s life was until the night he called me. At his request, I stole a few bills from my mom’s purse as well as her ID and put us up in a cheap motel room for the night. Jumping up when I finally heard his knock, I quickly pulled the door open to reveal Taehyung, his blue hair stringy from the rain outside. He was panting like he ran all the way there. I covered my mouth with my hands as the dim lighting revealed his left eye swollen shut, covered in nasty shades of scarlet and purple. His lip was split and bleeding, and his right cheek had another bruise and cut creeping down to his jawbone. The worst part, though, were the red finger-shaped marks that covered his neck.

“Y/n,” he croaked out. I held open my arms and he fell into them, not leaving their safety until well into the morning. I iced his black eye and bruises as much as I could, and bandaged the cuts that covered his face. Taehyung’s face was pressed into my chest, his breathing deep and even as he finally slept.

I decided then and there I’d never let him go.

Thankfully, Taehyung felt the same way. Within a week, he brushed off every other girl he was chatting up and focused all of his attention on me. We spent hours with each other after school, either in person or on the phone, and it became a common occurrence for him to intertwine his fingers with mine or peck me sweetly on the cheek.

I quickly grew dissatisfied, sick of the friendship barrier preventing us from taking things further. We spent an entire day together one weekend, talking, laughing, walking the streets, and trying different foods from vendor carts. As the sun started to go down, Taehyung wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing his chest into my back. He was teasing me, I forget about what, and he leaned down to kiss my cheek when I turned at the last second and let him peck my lips instead. I laughed as his dark eyes grew wide with shock.

That was all it took, though. One kiss, and he was mine. Or rather, I was his. Afterwards, he pulled me into a deserted alleyway and we kissed until the sun completely disappeared. As the stars appeared in the sky above, Taehyung asked me to be his girlfriend, murmuring in my ear about how much he loved me and how he had never stopped loving me, even after I turned him down. With my heart practically bursting, I readily agreed.

Back then, Taehyung had a knack for getting in trouble, and me being his new girlfriend did nothing to hinder that side of him. He was definitely the “bad boy” of our school, constantly rebelling against the system by swapping his uniform for street clothes and ditching classes. His favorite form of rebellion, however, was street graffiti. He loved spray-painting words and drawings all over the walls of our neighborhood alongside his best friend, Namjoon. Tae was nearly caught by the cops a couple of times, but thanks to his quick instincts, he managed to give them the slip.

Still, a boy with bright, blue hair was bound to stand out, so after a couple nights of close calls, Taehyung finally dyed his hair back to that soft, caramel brown that I loved running my fingers through. We sat together at a bus stop, watching cars and people go by with fingers intertwined, when Tae stood and pulled a paint can out of his jacket pocket.

“Again?” I asked. Despite my teasing tone, I smiled up at him.

Taehyung tucked his bottom lip between his teeth with a grin as he sprayed something onto the panel beside us. “Look,” he said once he was finished, tilting his head to admire his work.

I stood up to see the words “I’m fine” sprayed in green. The font was the most interesting part, though, too curly in comparison to Taehyung’s usual writing. “Now look at it from upside-down,” Tae said.

I threw him a skeptical look before obediently curving my neck and scoping out the piece of art as best I could. “Save me,” I read out loud.

Taehyung nodded. “It’s for us,” he murmured.

I looked up at him, emotions surging through me like a waterfall surging down a cliff. “It’s beautiful,” I said, my voice cracking.

Taehyung looked at me, concern filling his features. “Baby girl, what’s wrong?”

“I-I have s-something to tell you,” I stammered.

With many tears and a shaky voice, I began to explain to Taehyung the events that had transpired only a few nights before. How my mom’s boyfriend had quietly snuck into my room while she remained passed out on the couch. How he had told me to be quiet as his hand started stroking my arm. How he had held his hand over my mouth and yelped when I bit him. How I had screamed so loud our neighbors called the cops. How he was carted away by the police with my mother shrieking the entire time about how I was a brat and a dramatic liar.

Taehyung’s gaze grew darker with each word. “That bastard,” he spat, clenching his fists. “I will end that motherfucker.”

“Taehyung, stop,” I sighed. “It’s over. For now, at least. I’ll stay at Chaeyoung’s until graduation.”

“What do you mean? He’s not going to jail?”

I hung my head. “My mom left to pay his bail an hour ago.”

Taehyung slammed his fist into the same panel he just graffitied. “So that jerk is going to walk free?!”

I stood up and ran my hands soothingly over his shoulders. “For now. I’m going to press charges, but in the end, it’s my word against his. Who knows how the system will treat him.”

Taehyung let out a feral growl, turning away from me. “I’m sick of this shit,” he snapped. “My dad, your mom’s boyfriend… neither of them should be walking free after everything they’ve done.”

Not knowing what else to do, I hugged him tightly from behind. “Just another few months,” I said quietly. “And then we’ll be out of here. A house in the country, just like you said.”

“That’s not good enough,” Tae snapped, turning back towards me. My mouth parted in surprise as I looked into his eyes and saw something there I’d never seen before. It was like a slow-burning flame, one that hadn’t yet risen into a raging wildfire, but threatened to if it wasn’t quickly put out.

Taehyung suddenly grabbed my hand and tugged me down the street. “I’m dropping you off at Chae’s,” he said. “And then I want you to stay there for the next twenty-four hours. I don’t want you going out for any reason, you understand me?”

“Taehyung, what are you saying? You’re scaring me.”

He stopped walking, turning so we were facing each other once more. The flame I saw earlier began blazing, turning rapidly into something uncontrollable and destructive I didn’t know how to stop. “This ends tonight,” he growled.

True to his word, he dropped me off at Chaeyoung’s, not leaving until he made me promise I wouldn’t go out until he said so. After a week, with Tae’s permission, I went home to get some clothes and personal items only to find my mom sitting on the couch, strung out of her mind. “Is he here?” I asked tentatively.

She raised her red-rimmed eyes to meet mine. “Who?”

“Manseok. Your jerk of a boyfriend.”

My mom shrugged and scoffed. “Haven’t seen that bastard for a couple days now,” she said, her words slurring together. “He upped and left us. Stole some money from me to do it, too.”

The feeling of relief that I felt was short-lived once I remembered that asshole would probably be back for more, just like the others. I quickly gathered my things and left, stopping only to make sure my mom had enough food for the next few days.

Ever since that night, Taehyung withdrew into himself. He still held my hand and kissed me, but it was distant, emotionless, like he didn’t know how to feel his feelings for me anymore. He weirdly became somewhat possessive of me, keeping me practically glued to his side whenever he was with me, and constantly texting me when we weren’t together. Whenever other boys looked my way, Taehyung shot them down with harsh words and incessant bullying our friends joined in on. I insisted they stop that kind of behavior, and for a while, I thought Tae and his friends complied. It wasn’t until much later in life when I realized they never truly stopped. They just got better at hiding it.

One night, I was at Namjoon’s place waiting for Tae when Joon’s phone rang. “Taehyung?” he said, turning away from me when I looked up. “Hey, calm down. You did what?!”

He stood up quickly. I motioned for him to put it on speaker, but he waved me off. “Okay, stop. I’m coming over right now. Just stay put, dammit.”

Joon grabbed his jacket and rushed towards the door. “Wait!” I cried. “What happened?!”

“Nothing that concerns you,” he snapped. “Stay here. I’ll bring Taehyung to you, alright?”

Neither of them came back. Before the sun even thought of rising, I determinedly ran all the way to Taehyung’s apartment, desperate to see him and make sure he was alright. As my sneakers pounded against the pavement and my breath started coming out in ragged gasps, I suddenly felt a hand grasp my forearm and yank me into a side alley.

“What are you doing here?” a voice growled as I yelped in surprise. I looked up to see Jungkook standing there, glaring at me.

“I want to see Taehyung,” I retorted, ripping my arm from his grasp.

He crossed his arms. “Not gonna happen.”

“Like hell it’s not!” I snapped. “Where is he?”

Jungkook grabbed the front of my jacket, preventing me from pushing past him. “Go home, Y/n.”

“Absolutely the fuck not!”

Sick of my shit, Jungkook picked me up, threw me over his broad shoulder, and carried me out of the alleyway. I kicked and screamed the entire way. He set me down once we were on the main street. “Taehyung will call you when he can,” he said firmly. “I won’t say it again, Y/n. Go home.”

“No!” Tears welled up, and I furiously swiped them away. “I’m his girlfriend! Tell me where he is right now or I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” Jungkook snapped. “Y/n, you don’t even know where he is. Fucking leave, or I’ll carry you all the way back to Chae’s myself.”

It didn’t take much longer for me to realize Jungkook wouldn’t relent. Eventually, I went back to Chaeyoung’s and spent the day staring at the wall beside my bed. What did Taehyung do? What were his friends protecting him from? When had things gotten so fucked up?

My questions were never answered. After a full week of silence, complete with him missing school, Taehyung showed up at Chae’s place asking for me. “She doesn’t want to see you,” Chae snapped, closing the door as I meandered into the entry hall.

Taehyung stopped her by slamming his palm against the wood. “Please, Chae,” he begged.

Recognizing his deep tenor, I walked up and put my hand on my bestie’s shoulder. “I’ve got this, Chae,” I murmured. She left with a huff.

Taehyung looked terrible. Dark circles ran under both eyes like he’d spent multiple nights without sleep, his hair was unkempt, and his skin was much too pale. Without another word, I immediately took him inside and dragged him up to my room. He took a shower in my en suite bathroom while I washed his clothes. After he dressed, we sat on my bed, still not speaking. “What happened?” I finally asked.

He tossed me a weak smile. “Life happened.”

I shook my head in disgust. “You leave me for an entire week with no explanation, and that’s all you have to say?”

“Baby girl, please,” Taehyung said, clasping my hands in between his large, rough ones. “I’m sorry I left you alone. I asked the guys to keep an eye on you, and they said you’ve been doing fine.”

“Fine is an overstatement,” I snorted, tearing my hands from his grasp.

He didn’t relent, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his broad chest. “Let go,” I ordered, trying and failing to push him away.

“No,” he said simply, tightening his hold. “I love you, Y/n. Everything that happened this past week happened for us. For our dream.”

I managed to pull back enough to look up into his eyes. The spark of mischief that normally resided there was gone, replaced by a dull sombreness that made me ache inside. Whatever had happened that week completely changed Taehyung for good. He was no longer quick to smile or joke, and I began to yearn for the blue-haired boy of the past. I couldn’t tell him that, though. Despite everything, I still loved him.

A month passed, and as our graduation approached, Taehyung talked more and more about moving out to the country. I responded enthusiastically outwardly, but on the inside, I didn’t know if moving out was such a good idea. It wasn’t just the way he had changed. It was having issues with my mom as well. Since Manseok never came back around, her behavior grew more erratic each day. I moved back in to take care of her, and she depended heavily on me. I was afraid if I left, she would fall off the deep end again and never be able to make it back to the surface.

The last day I saw Taehyung dawned bright and filled with hope. “I’m feeling good today,” he announced, slinging an arm around my shoulders as we walked to class.

I smiled up at him, glee spreading through my limbs when I saw a trace of that mischievous spark back in his eyes. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He tossed me a grin. “I haven’t been able to go out and tag anything lately… but I kind of want to tonight. You in?”

“Of course.”

As night approached, we walked hand-in-hand down the street until Taehyung led us back to that bus stop where he painted the “I’m fine/Save me” ambigram. I sat on the bench and watched as he began to create something new. I don’t think he had a set plan. The painting started off in meaningless loops, the jet-black color standing out in stark contrast to the white behind it.

Suddenly, bright lights filled our vision flashing a blinding blue and red. “Freeze!” a loud voice yelled.

I remember Taehyung’s wide, dark eyes finding mine, filled with panic. I remember the rough skin of his palm sliding into mine and yanking me upright. I remember how we sprinted down the street, the fear of being caught pumping adrenaline through us. How he ran faster than me, tugging me along to keep up.

Taehyung looked back and pulled me into an alleyway to try and lose them. We turned a corner and met a dead end. With our backs pressed against the wall, I looked at Tae. “Dammit,” he panted, the corners of his mouth turning upwards despite our situation.

I began to run out the way we came, intending on dragging Taehyung with me, but he yanked me back, slamming me against the wall that entrapped us. He kissed me, feverishly pressing his tongue inside my mouth before I could stop him. He yanked my wrists upwards, pinning them almost painfully against the brick above us as his mouth continued exploring mine and his hands roamed up and down my body.

He pulled back, allowing me to finally suck in some oxygen, and even as I coughed, he continued pressing kisses from my cheek to my jaw to my neck. Tae finally stopped as loud voices and beams of flashlights got closer. “I love you, baby girl,” he murmured. “Don’t forget that.”

“Tae, what—?”

He stepped out from behind the corner, raising his hands in the air. I ducked down into the shadows the alley provided, scooting backwards and pressing my hands over my mouth.

“Get over here, punk,” a gruff voice commanded. I heard the grinding click of handcuffs closing over wrists as another voice began to read Tae his rights.

I scrambled to my feet, realizing too late what was happening. No, no, no, no, no. He couldn’t take the fall for both of us. Not like this. Still, even as I moved to step out into the light and reveal myself, something stopped me. I don’t remember exactly what it was. Possibly the thought of my mother, my friends, how close I was to graduation. Like I said, I don’t remember. All I remember was the panic I felt when I realized the love of my life had just been arrested.

I showed up late to class the next day, not wanting to answer questions from my friends about what had happened and why I looked like absolute shit. I realized my efforts weren’t needed when two detectives pulled me out of class and escorted me to the police station, causing my classmates to start buzzing with gossip like the annoying wasps they were.

“So… L/n Y/n,” the cop, Detective Kwak, said. I looked up at her, nervously twisting my hands in my lap. “You are dating Kim Taehyung, correct?”

I nodded slowly. She had brought me here for “routine questioning,” yet I began to suspect more when they put me in an interrogation room. “For how long?” the detective asked.

“About a year and a half,” I muttered.

“So your relationship was serious?”

“You could say that.”

“How serious?”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how serious were you? Did you have plans for after graduation?”

“I guess. We were going to move in together.”

“Here in the city?”

“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “Somewhere far away.”

“Because of your troubles at home?”

It was then I got defensive. “What do you know about that?” I snapped.

Detective Kwak stared me down, an amused smile playing around the corners of her lips. “I know enough. I was promoted to detective only a month or so ago. Back in my street days, I was one of the cops called to your house.”

My mouth parted in surprise at her words.

“I remember that night pretty clearly,” she continued. “Your mom’s boyfriend attacked you, right?”

I swallowed hard and sank down in my seat, rubbing my arms with my palms in an effort to keep myself contained. “And she did nothing to defend you, correct?” the detective prodded.

“Stop,” I whispered.

“What about Taehyung? Did he do anything to defend you?”

“What the fuck is this about?” I burst out. “I thought you brought me here because… because…”

“Because of the graffiti?” she asked pointedly.

I nodded.

Detective Kwak leaned forward over the table. “Look, Y/n, I don’t give a damn about the fact you were his tagging partner in crime or whatever. This is much bigger than that.”

“What do you mean?”

She sat back and stared at me, her eyes like cold, dark tunnels. “Kim Taehyung has been charged with murder. His prints match a partial we lifted off of a crime scene.”

My mouth dropped open. “W-What?”

“That’s right,” she said. “We only identified the body yesterday. Does the name Lee Manseok mean anything to you?”

I froze as the syllables of my mother’s boyfriend’s name rolled off the detective’s tongue. She nodded at my reaction. “I thought it would. He was found in an abandoned warehouse about a week after he was killed. He’d been beaten to death.”

My blood ran cold, causing goosebumps to raise on the flesh of my arms. I shook my head fiercely. “No, that can’t be right,” I said. “The guy was a dick, anyone could’ve done that to him.”

“That’s what we thought at first. We first suspected his wife.”

“He… He has a wife?”

“And two kids,” the detective scoffed. “Your mom picked a real winner. But then we finally got Taehyung in custody thanks to your shenanigans last night and what do you know? His prints match the one we found at the crime scene.”

“You’ve got it wrong,” I said firmly. “Taehyung wouldn’t do that.”

“Wouldn’t he?” she asked, folding her arms over the table. “Sounds like he really loved you and would do anything to protect you.”

“No, there has to be a mistake. Even if Taehyung did kill him, it had to be out of self-defense or something.”

“Maybe so. But if you knock a guy out and then continue beating him until he dies, is it really self-defense?”

“It is if that guy could come back and hurt someone you love for revenge,” I retorted.

The detective’s face remained expressionless. “Unfortunately, the law says differently.”

“The law can go to hell for all I care.”

She chuckled. “Whatever you say, kid. Look, the crime scene revealed that more than one person beat the literal life out of Manseok. If Taehyung did this, he didn’t do it alone. Do you happen to know who else would have helped him commit murder?”

I stayed silent as I thought for a moment. Any of our friends could’ve helped him, with maybe the exception of Chaeyoung. I thought of Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook, Jimin, Yoongi and Joon. I thought of the way they moved around school like a unified group, making fun of anyone who wasn’t them and bullying people who got in their way, especially any other guy who dared look my way. Still, they wouldn’t have helped Tae commit flat-out murder, would they?

“Anyone at all?”

The detective’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. I shook my head. “No. No one.”

She sighed. “There’s something else. We’ve been trying to get ahold of Taehyung’s father, but he seems to be missing.”

“Missing?”

“Yes. He hasn’t shown up at his job at all in the past month and a half. His credit cards haven’t been used, either.”

“So?” I snapped. “The guy was an alcoholic, he could be holed up somewhere drinking himself to death.”

“Maybe so, but my guess is we’re going to find him in some abandoned building or maybe at the bottom of the ocean one day. Your boy, Taehyung? I’ll bet he’s the one who put him there.”

I slammed my palms on the table. “LIES!” I yelled. “He wouldn’t do that!”

“Wouldn’t he?!” Detective Kwak shouted, rising to her feet. “Tell me something right now, Y/n. Have you noticed him acting differently? Have you noticed any changes in his behavior?”

I immediately looked down at the ground. “No,” I muttered.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said, NO!”

“Enough with the lies!”

“I’m not lying! You are!”

The detective opened her mouth to retort, then thought better of it and sat down instead. “The evidence doesn’t lie, Y/n,” she said.

“Look,” I said. “If you want someone to put in jail, put me in jail. Taehyung’s gone through enough in his life. Please don’t put him through this.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and I put my hands over my face and began to sob. Detective Kwak stood up and came around to my side of the table before placing a hand on my shoulder. Once my sobs began to cease, she offered me a tissue. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. “Thanks,” I muttered.

“Listen,” she said gently. “I’ve made arrangements for your aunt to come pick you up.”

I looked up at the detective in surprise. “My aunt?”

“Yes. Your mom’s sister. She’s filed to gain custody of you, and in light of recent events, a judge granted it to her.”

“Wait, my mom’s sister? I thought she lived in America.”

Detective Kwak’s mouth visibly tightened. “No, actually, she lives in Busan. Seems your mom kept that from you as well. Your aunt’s been trying to get in contact with you, Y/n. She says she sent letters.”

I stared at the wall across from me. Every limb, every nerve ending, every cell in my body was starting to go numb. It was all too much. My boyfriend was a murderer, my mom’s ex-boyfriend was dead, Taehyung’s dad was missing, and now all of a sudden I had a long-lost aunt who was now my sole guardian?”

“She’s very well off,” the detective continued. “She’s even offered to pay for your mom to get treatment in a rehabilitation facility. Whatever future you have with her is sure to be a bright one.”

“If you say so.”

“I know so. I’ve met her, only briefly, but she seems very nice.”

I let the silence grow between us, not bothering to give a response. The detective finally sighed and sat back down in her chair across from me. “Y/n, Taehyung is going to jail for a very long time. Maybe even for the rest of his life. I suggest you move on with your life. Move to Busan. You’ll attend a great school there, and probably university as well. You can start down an entirely new path.”

The memory of Taehyung’s handsome face swam before my eyes, his bright, boxy smile lighting my insides on fire the way it had for the past year and a half. “What if I don’t want to?” I whispered.

“Well… That’s up to you. But the sooner you move on, the sooner you’ll stop feeling this pain.”

Detective Kwak stood up, motioning for me to stand up as well. “Come on. Your aunt’s waiting.”

We exited the interrogation room, the skin on my face itchy and dry from crying. I knew I probably looked like a mess, but I didn’t care.

“Y/n!” a deep, familiar voice shouted. I froze in my tracks, slowly raising my eyes to his inky ones. He struggled in the grip of two cops, his hands handcuffed behind his back.

“Hey baby girl,” he said, smirking. “Nice of you to come visit me.”

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Detective Kwak hissed.

“You said to move him into the interrogation room.”

“While it’s still occupied?!”

“Don’t worry,” Taehyung quipped. “We can share, right baby?”

“Get him out of here!” Detective Kwak snapped. “Now!”

The cops shoved Taehyung towards the interrogation room. I turned to look at him, desperation clenching at my heart. I realized this might be the last time I saw him, the last time I would get to tell him something. Anything. My mouth opened but no words came out.

“Don’t worry, baby girl!” Taehyung shouted, lurching towards me. “I’ll get out someday! And I’ll come for you! I will always come for you!”

I shook my head and felt tears prick at my eyes once more as the police wrestled with him. “I love you, Y/n!” he shouted just before they shut the door on him.

“Sorry about that,” Detective Kim said, holding a hand to her heaving chest. “You weren’t supposed to cross paths.”

“It’s okay,” I murmured, and to my own surprise, I meant it. I was glad I saw him one last time. I realized, in that moment, that the blue-haired boy I once knew and fell in love with was completely gone. His eyes, which once held a spark of playfulness and mischief, now held nothing but misery and woe. He let his anger for the world overtake him, allowing it to blaze a path of self-destruction that I could no longer follow.

Maybe the detective was right. Despite the fact that Kim Taehyung was the love of my life, maybe, just maybe, it was time to move on.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Part One is HEEEEEEERE! 😉

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cookinguptales · 4 years ago

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So I’ve actually been looking at the reblogs y’all have done of that meme I posted like a week ago. The one that asks what your mental images are like while reading? It’s so interesting because so far I haven’t had anyone reblog it with my experiences, which is weird bc I thought everyone was like me for most of my life. I didn’t know that some people didn’t see things at all until only a few years ago.

For me personally, I see things very vividly. Sometimes it does do the focus thing (like 3 in the post) but not the way they describe it? Like they said there’s basically a thing you see vividly in the black void. For me it’s more like when your phone is focusing on something in the foreground. Sometimes I mostly see the main character or something vividly, but the rest is still there, it’s just in the background so it may be a little fuzzy or not as detailed.

For me, it can be a good or a bad thing? Like I do assume that my ability to visualize helps me write (and my daydreams are like straight-up movies that I just... write down...) but it also makes hearing about bad, gross things worse. My mother is the same way. You just have to describe an injury or something and we’re squirming because we always visualize it very clearly. I think that also made me more susceptible to horror when I was a child, which led to a lot of nightmares lmao.

Which brings me to my actual question! I got curious while reading the reblogs. I was wondering if my visualization is tied in any way to the (somewhat unusual) dreams I have. I have very, VERY vivid dreams that are like watching movies. I am typically not in them. (Though oddly, I’ve been in them much more often during quarantine. I usually remember to mask up and panic halfway through haha.) It’s at the point where once I had the same dream more than once and my internal voice was like “oh, I’ve seen this one already. nice cinematography tho.” and I woke up like “literally what the fuck.”

For me, a nightmare is like watching a scary movie. It has characters who are not me, doing a fairly detailed plot line (often with mysteries or twists), and there is a definable ending -- whether I get to see it or not. (Maybe someday I’ll post some of the weirdest, most interesting ones. Some have a lot of worldbuilding!)

My question is what are your dreams like? How vivid are they? Are you in them? Are they more recurring tropes (falling, etc.) or do they have a beginning, middle, and end? Are there side characters? Do you fully visualize them, and are they in color? Along with what your dreams are like, tell me if you read/write a lot and how thoroughly you visualize when you do that. Do you see everything very clearly? Do you see things fuzzily or partially? Do you not see anything at all?

Seriously, please send me a message! I’m really curious to know if there’s a correlation or not!

#also like side note I have barely talked to other humans while in quarantine for the last year #so I'm rusty #so I also just think it'd be nice to talk but I'm too embarrassed to message most of the people I've failed to talk to #:')?#just me #long post #yes I am procrastinating on my actual paycheck work let me live

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kebinwooo · 4 years ago

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ult group game!

thanks @2bosoos for tagging me in this!! sorry it took me so long to get to this. i literally have like no excuse HAHA but your answers were super interesting to read!

for: ukiss (had to narrow it down to my ult of ults or else this would become a REALLY long post lol)

1. who was your first bias?

kevin! i barely remember why he became my first bias tho LMAO probably just thought he was very pretty and 11 year old me was a very superficial human being

2. who is your bias now?

kevin and junyoung! ngl i sometimes think kevin is only my bias now out of loyalty lol but i love love love junnie! i think he’s one of the most talented idols to exist (a singer, rapper, dancer and actor all wrapped in one!!) and also a super humble, down-to-earth kid. i mean there’s a reason why so many people are friends with him and have such good things to say about him and idk i just really think ukiss raised him well and made him the thoughtful, hard-working idol he is today ;;

3. what was the first mv you watched by them?

my memory’s super fuzzy around this but it was probably either manmanhani or shut up... all i remember was that i heard one of their songs on a kpop end of the year mashup and i was like OOOO THIS SONG SOUNDS GOOD and i checked them out afterwards lol

4. what’s your favourite mv?

i’m apparently basic for saying this but neverland!! idk something about that mv was just VERY good and that’s what launched me into actually being a kissme so it holds a special place in my heart hehe

i’m also really into tick tack, which i still think is the best japanese debut song a kpop group has ever released lol

5. if you could only listen to one of their songs for the rest of your life, which would it be?

lmao if you know me, the song choice is already obvious AHHA it would be someday! that song really feels like healing for me. like it encourages me yet comforts me and idk i just love it so much ;;

i also wouldn’t mind if i could only listen to heartless! that song is an absolute banger and i’m STILL disappointed they never performed it live/it wasn’t their title song for their last comeback as ot6 ;;

6. who would you want to see them collab with?

seventeen!! seungkwan is the co-president of kissmes (alongside jaejae, the woman who singlehandedly revived ukiss’s career last year LOL) and several of the other svt members are also fanboys and it makes me so so so happy ;u; soohyun also covered aju nice a while back and ABSOLUTELY SLAYED IT (we love a vocal king) so i need them to collab on something. hell, i’ll even take a ballad collab, JUST FEED THIS KISSMECARAT

7. what (mv) concept do you want to see them do?

LMAO i’m not picky bc i want them to just give me a comeback!!!! i mean they technically did have a comeback already but only with two members so really my point is that i won’t ask for anything much, just please give ot3 a comeback with proper promotion @ NH Media!!!

8. have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it?

i don’t think so? i don’t ever dream of idols anyways so if they did appear, it would probably be like me talking about them in my dream rather than actually seeing them in my dream lol

9. if you could spend a day with one member, who would it be and what would you do?

it would either by junyoung or soohyun! junnie would be super fun to hang out with bc he seems like such a chill dude and i really like when hes in his element and enjoying himself. as for soohyun tho, he finds so much joy in the little things that i’m like ;u; yes pls lets hang out dude, it’ll be such a good time. also i want to meet his niece and nephew who are ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS OH MY GOD

alternatively.... i am also down to hang out with kiseop but for the ulterior motive of meeting his wife LOL

10. which member do you think you would get along with best?

soohyun makes me laugh SO hard bc he’s kinda unpredictable and has no boundaries. like he really doesnt have to try to be funny, he just IS lmao so i think i would end up having the time of my life even if we just chatted with each other LOL

11. which member do you think you would argue with?

.....aj but that’s because i actually want to punch the dude in the face for being a snake towards the other members

ummmm i have no idea?? i don’t really see any of their personalities clashing with mine in any way that would lead to arguments?? LOL maybe i’ll argue with hoon for the fun of it bc hes really funny when he gets sulky but he won’t hold a grudge like soohyun would HAHA

12. if you had to let one member scroll through your tumblr, who would it be?

hmmm i think i would choose jun? i mean i did do a lot of embarrassing screaming about him on this blog but i think i’d want him to know how much i admire and love him and want good things for him and i think my tumblr kind of encapsulates that bc i can’t count how many times i’ve said i’m proud of him in my tags HAHA

tagging: @xfirebenderx and @bookwan and @pjminyard (👀 bekka are you here idk why i felt like tagging you but imma do it) but feel free to ignore as well!

#tagged #2bosoos #i'm so sorry it took so long to get to this chelle #i'm literally not even kidding this has been sitting in my drafts for a month #and the thing is like all the questions were filled out idk why i only just now posted it HAHAHA #anyways hope you enjoyed my gushing about ukiss HAHA

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oikawasbread · 5 years ago

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salut salut !!! here to request a matchup !!!i’m a 5”6 (averagely) bi girl, my name’s rylee. my sun sign’s taurus, but i have an aries moon that jumps out a BIT lmao. mbti is intp-t! i have v few major passions, most of them fade after a couple days i am inconsistent, but the ones that really stuck were writing, traditional art, n history! particularly greek + roman era n celtic history !! 1/5

Hi Rylee!!! Girl I am so sorry that I took so long to answer your rq, I’ve read your description as soon as you sent it but I didn’t have that much time to answer and I didn’t want to rush this, I wanted to actually take my time and make this right cause u seem such an interesting person and like u deserve justice bye!<3

anyways

MATCHING WITH : OIKAWA TOORU

• y’all have so many things in common

• he thinks your height is cute asf lmaoo cause he’s like 6’ or something

• the fact that your passions fade away so easily confuses the hell out of him like how can you love doing a thing today and after one week you’re not even interested

• but your writings, drawings and love for history are making up for your inconsistent ass

• Tooru found once a notebook with some short poems and loved it!! he asked you from where do you have it

• you were like. huh? those are made by me

• and he’s . no, they’re not

• like HOW ARE YOU SO TALENTED they are so beautiful

• and you can’t stop laughing it’s hilarious

• he’s the same when it comes to your other 2 big passions as well

• Tooru is so amazed when he sees your drawings ; you are a goddess

• he is constantly asking you how can you make such realistic drawings

• teach baby boy your ways

• also, I don’t see Tooru being passionate about history

• but everything sounds so interesting when you talk about it

• like : WW2? he doesn’t care

• but when Rylee talks about WW2?? he suddenly wants to know more

• because you inspire and motivate him

• he’s kind of… failing.. history class

• that means STUDY DATES WITH the great king!!!

• and you r like great kind my ass.. I haven’t read abt you in any history book

• Tooru : then let’s make history <33

• Rylee : please focus on studying tooru omg

• y’all were Netflix & chilling one day and you say : wait Tooru lets watch that space documentary cause I’m in love with the universe and everything about it

• TOORU IS TOO HAPPY RN

• like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his beautiful Rylee loves space????? you were clearly soulmates

• he loves it when you’re confident, when you dress up to go out and do a mini cat walk in front of him, showing off your body and bright smile

• but those mini cat walks won’t happen too often, cause you’re not the most outgoing person

• good thing Tooru also loves it when you’re just watching Tv or doing random things around the house in his boxers and an old T-shirt, messy hair and 0 make-up

• you’re pretty both ways for this boy, and he loves it

• he’s always admired your hair routine : he asks you to do it on him once but the next day his hair was too damn fluffy he looked like a whole ass clown

• so. no.

• but that doesn’t mean he won’t still watch you amazed while you put on your hair different masks and oils before/after shower

• he sometimes flirts with his fanclub, but not because he doesn’t want you anymore or something, but because he tries to be really nice and not look mean

• you on the other hand, you’re not trying to be nice, but your mouth just speaks without you

• you don’t even NOTICE that you’re flirting with someone other than Tooru

• but he knows how his dumb lil Rylee can be, so, he’s always there to rescue you from the situation

• your round cheeks r so soft and cute!!! he can’t help but pinch them:(((( pls forgive him

• he loves to give you kisses on your cheeks cause it feels so soft and after that you’re blushing so you’re extra cute

• you always catchb him staring at your face because he says that looking at your freckles and bright eyes it’s his fave thing

• Tooru says that your face is like the night sky and the freckles are the stars

• then he sees a lil tear in the corner of your right eye and he’s like woah babe whats wrong:((( did that sound weird

• and you’re like no!! it was so beautiful Tooru omg I love you, you should definetly try to write some poems when you feel inspired

• Tooru : well duh, of course. I am good at pretty much everything, especially when it comes to complimenting a beautiful lady just like you, Rylee

• Rylee : ugh goodnight

• he laughs and falls asleep with his hand resting on your waist

• you’re whipped

• but he’s even more whipped than you

• when it comes to school, he’s a top student

• you on the other hand.. you’re actually really smart but you’re lazy when it comes to studying and also can’t focus lmaooo this is so me

• but Tooru the great is here to help. kind of

• when he sees that one time you’re almost failing maths class he decides to step up and help you

• but when he notices that you’re actually good at maths he’s like ?????

• why are you?? failing???

• and you’re like oh I just don’t wanna do any more of this stupid homework

• omg he’s so. tired of you

• but you know how to speak French and he thinks it’s so sexy

• he often asks you to speak to him in French cause it’s hot and you’re calling him stupid or something and he’s like yeah baby girl I wanna hear sum more

• you’re literally laughing your ass off

• that shit is hilarious

• y’all actually met when you received one of his deadly serves cause it almost hit you in the head when you entered the gym

• he is in shock

• a 5’6 girl? just? received? his? great? serve?

• so Tooru HAD TO KNOW YOU BETTER

• when he found out you that don’t play anymore he was devastated, and you reminded him so much of himself

• seeing that you overworked yourself and it lead to you not playing vb ever again made him realise that he should also slow down a bit, because of his knee

• of course, you were still playing with him sometimes

• but he wouldn’t allow you playing more than a few minutes cause he doesn’t wanna see you in pain <333 baby boy loves you

• when you’re hurt or just not in the mood to talk, Tooru runs to get you an iced mochas cause even tho he doesn’t like that drink, you love it

• so that’s everything that matters

• definetly loves it when you kiss him and you taste like strawberry gum

• cause you’re always chewing that shit he’s like Rylee aren’t your teeth hurting?? :((( he is worried but you’re perfectly fine

• you love to bake but the only things that turns out good are brownies, lemon slice and apple cinnamon muffins

• Oikawa is fine with living just by eating brownies if the brownies are made by you

Bonus : for y’alls anniversary you gave him an alien sweatshirt and he gave you a lingerie set with. aliens. lmfaooooo it looks pretty tho !! it complimented your body and it was with aliens, his favourites.

he is definetly going to marry you someday

i really hope i didn’t disappoint you 🥺😔❤️

-Riley

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dollfairy · 6 years ago

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Okay so I find Aggretsuko really relatable bc who doesn't hate their job and need to scream about it, but the second season has really been hitting me bc of Retsuko’s fear that getting married will cause her to lose who she is and let go of her identity. And like!! I’m getting married, i couldn’t be happier, and I’m not afraid of losing who I am in a marriage bc my partner not only lets me freely be myself, but helps me to become a better version of myself. it’s cool. But you know where I AM afraid of losing my identity? Motherhood.

Like just to be clear, I want to have kids. I actually like being around kids a lot (at least the ones in my family) -- I think a lot about how I would parent, and other than the usual anxieties of “oh god would I be ready” and “oh no what if I fuck them up somehow???”, I actually feel like I’d have a good handle on it. So I’m not scared of having kids, but rather, I’m scared of BEING a MOM. I’m scared I’d disappear into motherhood.

Working at a malwart, I see so many women just constantly in athletic-wear (grey tank, darker grey leggings...depressingly without personal flair), and looking fucking exhausted, and either ignoring their kids or at the end of their rope and screaming at the kids just for doing kid stuff (although most of the time those screamy types ironically have the kids that listen the least and lack any sort of discipline). Like they seem like they hate having kids. And I’m sure if I went to their home it would be beige and there would be kid shit everywhere and not a speck of the woman’s personality (because TIRED is her personality?? from what I see?) beyond like...live, laugh, love posters, and maybe a few jokey magnets about drinking wine?? And I’m fucking terrified of becoming that.

And despite the fact I was worried about getting an office job bc that's what the boring girls from my high school did, and I was so scared of becoming like a Pam in HR or something.... despite knowing that fear didn't pan out at all, bc I’m entering the job market with an eye towards a desk job, because I’m not career-oriented and need the stability to keep up my weird non-work life -- despite that reassurance, I’m still worried that THAT, that MOTHERHOOD, will be the thing that overrides my individuality.

I’ve found myself constantly reassuring myself, “hey! you’d be a hot/cool mom tho”, and then i’d feel bad bc that’s probably internalized misogyny and prioritizing the male gaze and it seems like I think the problem isn’t those women’s exhaustion but just the fact they don't put a better gloss over it

but THEN I realized that my whole mental image of the cool mom, or the hot mom, it��s literally just me clinging to the only images of motherhood where the woman doesn't seem like she’s completely surrendered herself solely to the identifier of “mom”. Like the cool mom -- she still has style and interests! She cultivates herself even as she parents! Or the hot mom who takes care of herself, and clearly isn't exhausted and miserable, because she’s fucking ROCKING it.

Maybe it’s just where I work, but there’s SO many examples of the kind of person I’m scared of becoming, at various stages of life (like this doesn't touch on how the average elderly malwart customer paints a horrifying picture of what old age will hold). Like if it was just occasionally someone that makes me glad I’m not them, it’d be fine, but it’s like a constant stream, and you start to wonder...is it inevitable? Like it makes it feel like motherhood is the deadline by which all dreams must have been dreamt, and striven towards, and wrapped up neatly, or else gather dust...until retirement?? Because I guarantee that woman with the defeated look handing her kid a tablet to shut him up hasn’t picked up a video game, or taken a dance class, or taken a fun couples trip in years.

And don’t get me started on the “quirky” articles about ways your body tricks you that list the hormone deluge that makes it so your baby is priority number one after birth. Like it scares me that a single event like that (an important one, but still) can so completely rewire your brain and its priorities. I like to think I am who I am, and I have a good handle on that, and I have no doubt hormones and chemicals in my brain play a role in my current self...but the knowledge of that chemical switch flipping in such a huge way frightens me. Like sure, it takes away the worry that I’ll somehow go through all the pregnancy stuff and wind up having a kid and not loving them (though my knowledge of postpartum whispers in my ear “what if your brain gives you the wrong chemical cocktail” and you SUPER-regret it), but like?

When the brain tells me that baby is priority number one now, where does the rest go? Where do my passions, my interests, the value judgements and prioritizations I’ve accumulated over a whole life lived thus far go? Nothing scares me more than when people are like “wait til you have kids! nothing else will matter!” bc they mean it so innocuously, but thats such a huge thing?? so much matters to me! The mattering is part of who I am!

Maybe I’m crazy. Congrats if you read through this far. Sorry for people on mobile. TL;DR: I want kids someday, I think I’d make a good parent...but the idea of losing myself in the identity of motherhood scares me.

#long post #rant #personal #it's a late night thought so maybe I'll #delete later

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personagf-moved · 6 years ago

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alphabet & soft questions ✨

I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf

i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘

honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily

Alphabet ask:

a // age: 21

b // birthplace: new jersey!

c // current time: 1:17 am

d // drink you had last: coffee

e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool

f // favorite songs:

aint it fun - paramore

trivia love

honey - kehlani

abbey - mitski

moonlight - ariana grande

g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week

h // horror yes or horror no: H O R R O R Y E S B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc.

i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man

j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess

k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that.

m // middle name: padilla

n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)

o // one wish: to find true love

p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol

q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)

r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf

s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(

t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol

u // underwear colour: she be black

v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/

w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it

x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o

y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby

z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun

Soft ask:

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes

What’s your aesthetic?

the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho.

What do you most like about the beach?

not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!

What do you worry about constantly?

when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

oh boy...

trivia love

moonchild

first love

she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack

20 something - sza

26 - paramore

the letter - kehlani

landslide - fleetwood mac

when you see my friends - mayday parade

and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO

but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)

What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy

What is your favorite from each sense?

sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh

smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn

taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning

sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise

touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair

What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?

one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should

jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

for starters im ugly as shit so theres one

if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over

but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back. also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.

Say something to your followers:

thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!

#this is soooo long im so sorry oh my god

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shirotanis · 7 years ago

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ok so i was looking forward to doing this and i’m glad it is done eventually ! to make long words short, i recently hit a great follower goal and the number keeps increasing and i’m ??? bc its weird but i’m thankful to everyone following me nonetheless💕💕💕 i’ve had this blog for a month and something but i’ve met a lot of wonderful people whom i grew to love and care for!!!!! some i havent interacted as much as others but i hope to get to know you all in the near future 💖💖💖

if your url is bold go take a look at the very end where it says ‘read more’ bc there’s a few words for you 💖💕💞💓💖💓💞💓

also i’m pretty sure i have more mutuals but they are sideblogs and idk whats their main to check if they follow me or not but pls know that i didnt forget or that i didnt want to include you!!!!

@4fnc // @4zammy

a-g:

@cryogonal-jonghyun // @daypjh // @dojooned // @dojooon // @dowoonhtml // @from-roses-to-dojoon //

h-j:

@howcaniwait // @ijustcantlie // @iwooseong // @jaeheyong //

k-r:

@lipstick-chathao // @mirinae-x // @rxsewoosung

s-z:

@saekkisongarak // @sangdoldol // @savageday6 // @shelovesjinyoung // @smolpil // @softwoonie // @tasteless-ratatouille // @tennisanon // @thedarksideofthewoon // @thedaysix // @ttherose // @theroseofficial // @wattela // @wonpixel // @woosung-is-my-aesthetic // @woosungs-blackrose // @woosammv // @younghyuuns // @youngks-smile

@4fnc: oK GIA MY LOVE!!!!! i have sO much to say about you my best absolute perfect !!!! ok first of all we’ve been friends for like, 3 years??? this is the longest friendship i’ve had and it started out so weird like? i was a bts blog and you were an exo blog aND THEN I BECAME AN EXO BLOG AND YOU BECAME A BTS BLOG but over the years, we grew to stan other groups, i parkoured more than you and i admit ;;;;;; ok but i still remember your most legendary post “my mom bought me cock heck yea - wAIT NO I MEANT COKE NOT COCK WHY WOULD MY MOM BUY ME COCK” and i’ll never let it die. you are such a beautiful person inside out i would have never thought i deserve you but !!! we’ve been together for so long and i hope we meet someday bc honestly? i wanna h*g you so much its a lil gross but,,, you mean so much to me honestly ok i’ll stop now i didnt even say everything i wanted to but i’ll keep that for another time ;)) i love our late night conversations about ??? whatever from memes to long appreciation hours about our faves to personal stuff its just so exhilarating to talk to you ily always gia 💞💞💞💞

@daypjh: oh oh oh my heart is turning into a puddle of joeliness rn thats how soft i am for you :(((((( honestly we have been talking for a few days but i feel like we’ve been friends for years??? when we started talking i was taken aback bc 1) shIT jo noticed me ok gotta act cool 2) it was So comfortable and So smooth and i had so much fun my fist conversations with people tend to be a little awkward and i’m always anxious but with you ??? i was so chill for some reason!!!! also you are the purest jae stan? the softest of them all and i know how much he means to you but you are a lil ho for the rest of day6 too i’m laughing you go all out with your trashiness;; i would have never thought i’d find someone with whom i share so many interests but here we are!! i’m so happy we started talking because i realised i was missing out on some gr8 stuff 👌👌 you are so funny our conversations never fail to make me smile whenever i feel down…i still wanna get to know you more tho but on another note i hope you stay happy !!!!! you deserve everything good i love you pls remember💓💞💓

@howcaniwait: my fave charcoal 💞 i know we havent interacted that much but i consider you a friend, more than a mutual. you are so cute and funny too also youre so talented when it come to photography like ?? pure goals not even exaggerating!!! you love bri and sammy so much it makes my heart jump a lil :’’’) you also helped me with that friend issue when you didnt have to and i’m still thankful bc it helped me~ btw the way you interact with every single follower of yours is such goals yall like family asdjgldhs cute ;-; lets get to know each other more soon💖💖💖

also a meme that is a very relative

@ijustcantlie: alice!!!!!!!! one of my fave blackroses 💓💓 i don’t have a lot to say about you bc i don’t know you well yet bUt i want to!!!! anyways your edits are so great they always leave me speechless i wish i had them skills tbh :

@rxsewoosung: hello dora 💕💕💕 in actuallity, he have exchanged a few asks only and thats about it but (though i wish we talk more one day)!!! you are so cute tbh i havent seen you around in a while but that’s bc the rose is kind of dead atm but as i was stalking your blog i realised how adorable you are!!!!you love the boys dearly and i cannot express how happy that makes me also you say i’m your fave woosung stan and that my blog contains a+++ content but same goes for you ;) woosung would be so happy to know such a nice person likes him so much plus your gifs are most pretty in my opinion i aspire to be like you💕

@thedaysix: MY FAVE DAY6 BLOG HANDS DOWN!!!! bethany ily so much not to be that person but i would have never thought YOU out of ALL day6 blogs would follow me i probably cried a lil on the inside when i saw you had followed me and liked some of my stuff as well askflghlsd ok so basically i have said it before i think but i love and appreciate you so much ik i’m repeating myself lol but you are one of the funniest ppl i follow and your tags are the cutest shit they make me xtra soft 😭😭😭 btw callie is the cutest cat i wish i could cuddle the floof sighs 💓💓

@ttherose: The Blackrose Mom aka Olivia 💞💞💞 I can’t express my appreciation enough tbh ??? without you i doubt we’d exist on tumblr and i’m not even joking!!! i used to be intimidated by you because you are the mvp of the fandom but talking to you in the group chat i???wow you are so interesting and hilarious plus i love how you ALWAYS do your best to update us with everything the rose related and make memes at the same time i’m laughing thats the definition of dedication so i wanna say a big thank you for your hard work bc other fandoms lack what we have (a mom; i mean you) 💞

@woosung-is-my-aesthetic: OH HI FAKE SNAKE JANA oops i mean uuugggh lettuce :))) tbh i thought you were one of those chill stans when i followed you but karma is a bitch i guess bc you are pretty wildt and i like em wildt ;)))) oK I THINK you are one of the most precious ppl i wanna protect with all my heart :(( i love every single meme you send and everything you say is hilarious in one way or another also ??? you are a little trashy prince for shinee and you know i love that about you plus i appreciate the mysme dose on my dash thanks to you my trashy ass wants to download the game for the 4th time :/ one thing i love about you is the mom mode you always like “whO DO I NEED TO FIGHT WHO HURT YOU MY CHILDREN” and that makes my heart blast into outer space and make a colony on mars askflghslahs i’m 2 soft 4 you always thanks for all the help i appreciate it, really!!! and no matter what you do or say i’ll never consider you ‘dark’ you are a lil kitty in need of affection uwu 💖💖 and i’ll only eat pineapple pizza for you but i know i’ll regret it :

@woosammv: 🗣️🗣️🗣️ THE CUTEST BROSE 🗣️🗣️🗣️ julia…you is that one person who is above the rest… like all the other normies are trash for the rose but you are the landfill and that makes you special aslgjhhlshaldhs ok but honestly you are such a great person, always making flawless gifs and keeping the fandom well fed sadly i dont have a lot to say bc we havent really talked but i hope we do soon but just so you know, ily and your blog 💕💕💕

#if i didnt write anything special for you @ the end pls know that its bc i dont know you at all but i appreciate your presence on my dash #and i would love to talk to you but *dowoon voice* i'm shy #personal #mutuals💕#appreciation post

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