#I am so not used to seeing this person in the mirror or in a photo that I look respectfully

[jerryiothy]

now on the other hand, if I can find that res evil company fic poll i will write this fic but uh writing a res evil fic company that uses their fucky wucky viruses differently. Pretty gosh dang sure in that world it is a Legitimate Concern.

but that is fantasy!

fantasy is not reality!

often it is preferred, but it is not reality!

for instance, in that fic the reason the si, despite basically just having the same life as me up to 21 but with a little screwery with chronology, is wealthy enough to go collecting the raw ingredients is because instead of being so chronically isolated and parentally dependent that I could be convinced to stab a baby to death if you promised me skin contact, my “parents” left me alone just enough for me to combine being one of those kids that sell their nudes online/JK around at the ripe age of like 11 years with S T O N K S

why is this something I would have preferred?

1 the economy is fucked

2 genuine actual human attention

3 not becoming essentially an incel for long enough to start contemplating on r@ing and killing a bully (is it incel if said bully was male?) because it would be all I could ever have in terms of human interaction with someone other than my “parents”, who to be fair weren’t wealthy but like… .75 parent household does bad bad things to mental health and makes you horribly unempathic when you see everyone else just fucking living it up, high on life and all that jazz.

4 trauma that doesn’t make me seem like a spoiled little bitch enby

5 trauma that doesn’t make me seem like a spoiled little bitch enby, again, because the amount of “being lonely isn’t traumatic” I have gotten has done wonders for my self esteem

6 i would finally have the other half of the geisha skillset, seeing as i am a people-pleaser with artistic skill at singing, dancing, and story-writing. instead i am a bastard warlock wizard bard multiclass that sometimes rolls 170990 on magic missile and sometimes rolls 1 on breathing, but everyone expects you to consistently perform miracles just because I could back before the loneliness started unpersoning me. i genuinely believe it ate my gender identity and preference. hey at least it didn’t do that all the way for my sense of self and reality, just took a lil nibble and i now emotionally treat characters as if they were real sometimes and feel more kinship with mineta and jimmy even though they aren’t the same level of bad person because i have too many mirror neurons to safely be depressed without stanning the most problematic char because the villain always has massive fucking trauma while the hero is perfectly fucking mentally healthy despite having a 1000+ kill streak.

it’s all trauma.

(Yes, it’s all about me. If it weren’t I wouldn’t be able to aspire to anything.)

i hope you all realize that literally nobody is going around forcefemming cis men in real life, right? like that is Not A Thing that is happening. everyone who posts forcefem jokes on tumblr is well aware that doing that would be. you know. a crime. it's barely even legal to consentfem trans women in a lot of places.

[kurokawaia]

DAY TWENTY THREE - BABY TRAPPING 彡 Aizen Sosuke

WARNINGS :: x fem reader, afab, yandere, coercion, manipulation, baby trapping, no protection, missionary, fingering, cervix kissing, NC cumming inside, + more

| WC :: 2.8k+ | MDNI | 18+ | kinkmas m.list

You knew about Aizen, what he wanted to achieve-you were the only person he had told apart from three others. You were going to go ahead and help him make this dream a reality. To be in the company of Aizen was to be with a God-the level of control he had, it scared you, couldn't tell if you felt safe too. He's always there to protect you, keeps you hidden away so you can't get hurt. Still, something has always been a bit off about him; you noticed it, how his eyes would follow your every move, every breath. It started innocently enough with Aizen as a perfect gentleman, never forcing and yet giving you just enough space to feel independent. Subtle changes began to happen over time. "Are you going out again?" Aizen's voice came out soft, he is masking his disapproval, he's waiting for the right moment to force you to stay with him. You lifted your gaze from the mirror in front of you and finished styling out your hair. "Just for a little while. Soon I will be back." His eyes stayed on you a moment, his smile false as he stared at you. "I worry about you," he said, moving in behind you and setting his hands on your shoulders before trailing off down to your hands. "The world is a dangerous place, and I'm not always going to be here to protect you. You're only a healer, you can't do much, my love." Comforting, even, his words were sweet. You think. A lump, tense feeling began to grow in your stomach but you laughed it off, brushing his hands with a soft touch. "I'll be fine, Sosuke! I can take care of myself." But the seed had been sown. Over weeks, he came further into your life, and what you used to decide for yourself would, it seemed henceforth, have first to pass through him. And he keeps reminding you so often with a soft chuckle that he wants nothing but the best for you. "You know, you need to take more rest," Aizen said to you one night while doing reports. He leaned over you with his hand tucked in the back of your nemaki, drawing circles, almost to sooth you. "All this stress isn't good for your health." You faltered, words caught in your throat. "I need to finish this." "You don't," he returned smoothly. His fingers closed over your shoulder, tightening just a fraction. "What you need is to unwind. I don't like seeing you overexerting yourself." Before he could object further, he leaned forward and rolled the scroll shut before taking it in his hands. "I'll take care of everything," he whispered. "Just trust me." At first, it was very easy to confuse his overprotectiveness with care. He was attentive, loving in his own peculiar way. Before long, the control started to become more evident with each passing day. 

He never raised his voice nor did he yell. He didn't have to. His words had been enough to lead you to wherever he wanted you to go. And they were so gradual besides, too slight, almost imperceptible. He started taking you away from your friends, from your captain, your lieutenant, subtly making you feel they were not people you should trust. "They don't understand you the way I do," he'd say stroking your hair as you lay in his arms. "They'll only hold you back." And when you fell, he'd lift your chin so it faced his eyes, the skin of your forehead grazing his lips in a feather-soft touch. "I only want what's best for you." You had begun to lean on him, questioning your choices, and if indeed you really knew what was best for you. Then you went to Aizen to see if it was okay-the things you were doing. Aizen had this way of speaking, as though he was the only one who knew you. Lying beside him in bed, as night fell, you said what was pent up inside your mind, "Aizen, am I the only one who thinks this all went a bit too fast? I feel like... I'm losing myself." His response was immediate. "You aren't losing yourself, my love, you're finding who you're really supposed to be. With me, you don't have to worry about a thing. Always, I will take care of you," he says with a softness, but his words are like honey. Still, with those words somehow, it sent shivers down your spine. That was when the future conversations started, light at first, talks about what life could be if you stayed together. A house, peaceful life, children. "You'd make a great mother," he said one afternoon as his eyes latched onto yours. "Can't you imagine building a life with me?" Your heart had skipped a beat, but there was a growing discomfort. "Perhaps someday, but I don't know if I'm ready for that as yet." Aizen didn't press the issue then, but the subject kept coming up. He'd casually touch your belly, remark on how ideal it would be to have a family, how complete your bond would be if you were tied together in every possible way. "It's natural to be wary," Aizen told you one evening while you sat before the fireplace. His hand lay limply on your thigh, his thumb tracing soft patterns. "But do think about it. A child would only strengthen our love. We'd be forever bound." You laughed a little nervously and brushed the suggestion aside. "That's a big step, Aizen. I'm just not sure I'm ready." He smiled gently, his eyes concealing something, something that you don't notice. "You will see, in time, it is the best thing that can happen to us." You didn't know that in his mind, a decision was already made.

Aizen and you have had sex multiple times, so it isn't a rare occurrence for the two of you to have sex at least once a day, at the least, it would be once every two days. But, Aizen makes sure to leave you every night, making sure that you are so fucked out due to pleasure that you forget to notice particular things. 

Specifically, something that is about to happen tonight. 

Your arms are pinned above your head, as Aizen's fingers experimentally push past your slick folds, his fingers pressing past your clit, and a surge of pleasure courses through you, leaving you breathless and desperate for more.

 A moan left your mouth as your back arched to his touch. Your reaction made Aizen press down slightly more, and your legs squeezed around his waist, moans stringing out your mouth.

You felt his fingers slide down, and he found your seeping hols drenched with arousal. A finger slowly slid inside your heat, a whimper leaving your mouth. "Does this feel good?" Aizen asked, and you nodded frantically.

"F-Fuck... feels so good, Sosuke," you whimpered as he started to slowly pump in and out your soaked walls.

"Really?" He asked and you moaned as he inserted another finger into your walls.

Overwhelming, a perfect mix of pleasure and intensity, it leaves you unable to hold back your moans. You lean your lips against his shoulder, muffling those sounds that burst from deep inside you. His fingers delve deep inside your core, firing a flame that engulfs every thought. Every movement, every curl sends shockwaves of pleasure across your body.

You let go and surrender to his intoxicating rhythm of touches. The junction of his skilled fingers with the intensity of our connection cossets you closer to the edge and teetering on the precipice of release. It was just a pure moment of bliss, where time seemed to stand still, filled completely with an overwhelming pleasure that coursed through the veins.

With Aizen's fingers pumping in and out of your seeping hole relentlessly, there was a familiar tightness growing in your lower abdomen, and pleasure that had tightened inside your stomach. You wrap your shaking legs around him, trying to hold on to him as the pleasure overflows. Anticipation ripples your body, reacting to every single one of his touches and movements.

You chant his name into his neck as praises leave your mouth, your voice filled with desire and need. The tears welling in your eyes are not from pain but from the overwhelming pleasure that threatens to consume you whole.

At your pleading, sucks the skin around your neck once more, groaning against your neck, his voice husky with desire. His thumb starts pressing your clit with its fleshy pad, another layer added onto the sensations that are already so intense. The touch is electrifying, your back arches in response.

"Please, Sosuke," you sob. "I need to..."

"Let your body take over for you, you want this and I've got you," Aizen reassured, intertwining your mouths together, his mouth swallowing the moans that slipped out your mouth.

Waves of ecstasy wash over you, leaving your legs trembling and weak from the intensity of the sensations. He slips his fingers from your hole and you continue to tremble from the aftermath of the orgasm. You managed to release myself from Aizen's neck and move away from his hold.

"Feeling alright?" Aizen asks cupping my cheeks.

"...yeah..." you breath out slowly while looking into his eyes. Aizen makes you feel so good, all the time, always focusing n your own pleasure, it's like he's trying to win you over for something, to distract you from something-

"There is more coming," Aizen said slowly, his brown eyes piercing into your own and they widened.

"More?" you tease, "What possibly could you give me more of?"

"So much, my love," Aizen hums. "Just let yourself loose, don't focus on anything, just on the pleasure I will give."

He delicately bites the shell of your ear making you let out a quiet whimper. you could feel him smile against your ear at your reaction. Aizen's touch caused you to dig your nails slightly into his chest leaving light crescent marks causing more deep exhales of breaths to get caught in your ear.

Aizen moved his head and his body suddenly firmly pressed against yours and you whimpered at the feeling of his dick pressing up agasint your stomach. His lips mingled with yours his minty taste and smell overflowed your senses making it a complete euphoria for you. you cupped the back of his neck to create a deeper angle for him to go explore deeper into your mouth with our tongues continuing to entangle with each other.

Aizen groans into your mouth, the hand that was trailing down your thigh moved swiftly back to your waist and the other intertwined with your hair at the base of your neck, pulling you closer to him. you let out breathy sighs into him as your own hand interlaced with his chocolte and your other wrapped around behind his neck.

His other hand moved its way down to tightly lift your thigh up which made his body mould closer to mine making you feel his dick press up against your soaked core. The kiss slows down and turns soft and almost desperate it's as if he wants to take his time with you, savouring every inch of your taste, to take his sweet time to memorise you.

"Look at you," he teases. "Trembling under my touch."

Aizen pants against your lips and you didn't have time to reply as he pressed them against you once more. "Please," I whimper out.

"Hmm?"

"I want you...." you mumble. "Stop teasing me."

Aizen kissing your forehead like you were a child who listened to their parent. "Good girl."

He presses his lips against mine to take your mind off. you feel a hard tip get lubricated at your entrance making your back arch into him as you let out a strangled moan of pleasure into his mouth. He continues to push further into you making your eyebrows furrow together in pain but the pleasure is still overwhelming your senses making tears prick at your eyes.

"Oh, you feel so good," Aizen whimpers into your neck. "You're so perfect."

You moan. The feeling of pure ecstasy of him fully entered you, the pain gone.

You feel his dick scraping across your plush walls in all the right places as he slowly exited your cunt, but not fully. Your moans and whimpers get swallowed by each other. you feel his thrusts speed up and you moan in response, your walls clenching around him causing the grip Aizen held on your thigh and waist to tighten.

The coil in your stomach getting tighter and your moans slightly became higher. Aizen continued to groan into your neck after he pulled away from the heated kiss.

"You make- me feel so goo- d," you say moaning throughout your sentence, "Feels so good-" you felt the coil in your stomach snap as your back arched painfully into Aizen's bare chest causing Aizen to groan and his arms moved to wrap tightly around you.

You arched your back heavily, able at last to sink further into his embrace. Aizen leaned over, drawing you near to him and initiating a messy, moist kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth, letting out grunts as he absorbed your sounds of pleasure. 

Effectively distracting you as he cums half in your cunt and the rest all over your stomach. He mimics that he's pulled out when in reality, he's got you filled with his seed, ready for you to bare his child.

-------------------------------------------------

 Aizen watched you from his chair.. "You're shaking, dear. What's going through your mind?" His voice was smooth, treacherous in a way that completely made it impossible for you to feel anything but relaxed and on edge all at once.

"I-I just don't understand...," you stammered, your hand falling to rest on your stomach, that for the last couple of weeks had started to show the signs of the life growing inside you. "How could this have happened? We were careful..."

Aizen chuckled low in his throat. "Oh, my love. Did you truly think I would leave something so important to chance? This was always a part of the plan."

You froze, your mind racing. "Wha... what do you mean?"

He stood, moving towards you with the grace of a predator stalking his prey. His hand cupped your cheek as he leaned down to whisper in your ear, "I made it happen. I want you bound to me in every way possible. You're mine now-mind, body, and soul."

It swept over you, you realise everything now. Every sweet word, every tender touch, was all an act to trap you. And in one swell, tears began to well within your eyes, but a gentle smiling Aizen wiped them away.

"There is no reason to cry, dear, this is for the best. Now you shall never leave me. You shall carry my child, and we will be bound together, forever." His lips pressed against your forehead. Your breath hitched as his hand slipped into your stomach. How had you not seen this all along? All those nights he had held you close, whispering sweet promises to your ear-all part of his carefully designed trap. He straightened, watching your. "You're too precious to let slip away. You see that, don't you?" His fingers brushed your skin. "You planned this," I whispered, more for my benefit than his. "You wanted this all along..."

Aizen smiled. "Of course. You really didn't think I'd leave a thing like that to chance, did you? I have always had a vision for us-a future wherein you would be mine-completely." You took another step backward, feeling the beating of your heart within your chest, but there was nowhere to go. "What if I don't want it?" you whispered almost soundlessly. "You are emotional now. Understandably so. But time will let you see this as precisely what you need." His voice was coaxing, speaking as he would to a frightened child. You shook your head, fighting down the panic rising into your throat. "I don't want to be trapped like this, Aizen. You can't just take away my choices." Aizen's hand rose to your chin, the pad of his thumb tipping your face upwards, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Oh my love, I have not taken anything from you. I've simply... ensured that we shall never again be parted. Is it not what you wanted, deep down?" "I... I don't know," you said, voice shaking. "Shhh," Aizen cooed, pressing a strand of hair behind your ear. "You are overwhelmed now. But in time, you shall see: our child will bind us together, and you shall understand that was the only way. You shall thank me for protecting our future. "Why?" one finally asked, barely above a whisper. "Why go to such an extent? Aizen's smile pulled taut over his lips, never quite reaching his eyes. "Because I love you. And when I love someone, I make sure they can never leave me." Aizen leaned down until his lips brushed against your ear. "There's no escape, my dear. Not now, not ever."

Do not steal, copy, modify, translate or use for ai Reblogs only!

tag list :: @love-eien @enouche @dreaddful @z8riah

@yanakurokawaaa @princesstiti14 @bontensbabygirl @mitsuyas-version

@kxrfie @clobiss @helenaxh @Tvbox_098 @fullwriterpoemp

[thewistlingbadger]

Me? A Silco sympathizer? Well, yes. Yes actually I am because the more I think about the more I think I have to be.

Silco was a young man who grew up with so much pain and suffering around him. All he ever knew was hardship, but despite it all he managed to live the best life he could have possibly managed for himself. He had community, family, and friendship. He had respect for others and the respect of others. He had a dream, people worth fighting for, people that loved him and people he in return loved. And he lost everything. He lost the very people he was fighting for, the ones that cared about him. He lost his humanity at the hands of Vander, his own brother who brutally betrayed him. Vander seemingly blindsided Silco at the river. He blamed him for something that was nowhere near his fault. He gave up on their dream, their home, at the first sign of trouble. He seemingly got Silco's peers and neighbors to turn on him and see him as nothing more than a monster. Can you imagine the confusion and hurt Silco must have felt in that moment? Or even the years afterwards? From Silco's perspective, he has no idea why Vander did what he did, and Vander never made any attempt to try to make amends. Vander was going to kill him that night. How do you think Silco felt, raising a knife against his kin just to save his own life? How do you think Silco felt looking the mirror every day after, knowing that a person he loved so deeply had became a monster and turned Silco into a literal monster? How do you think Silco felt when he walked the streets of Zaun and saw the way people recoiled away from him, because of his eye and reputation?

Silco was a good person. He had hopes and desires and a capacity to be kind. And all that, everything that made him him, everything that made him a human in his own eyes and the eyes of society was ripped away from him. He lost it all and he had to do it alone. Silco seemingly had no one outside of Vander and Felicia and he lost both of them. How do you think Silco reconciled that? Do you think he blamed himself for everything? Did he search his memories trying to find the exact moment where things went wrong? Did he think it was his fault that Vander betrayed him, that he deserved it in some way? Or did he know that he didn't deserve it, did he know that night was all on Vander? Did Silco hate himself for Felicia's death? Did he see himself responsible for her the same way Silco did? Did he ever wonder what became of her body, of her children? Or could he not bear the thought?

Silco had zero tools to help himself process his trauma and he didn't have a single person to comfort him. So what did Silco do? He accepted what happened to him in the only way he knew how. He completely abandoned the man he used to be, the man that knew love and affection and paid the price for it. He became the monster Vander saw him as. He dedicated his existence to the cause Felicia died for, the cause Vander was willing to kill him for. He didn't care about the costs and consequences and why should he have? Everything, literally everything he had and cared about was gone. The only thing Silco had left to lose was his own life, so he may as well try his hardest to get independence for his city, for his people, for himself, for Felicia's memory. And in the process he completely damned himself to a miserable and bitter life without humanity. And despite it all, despite how much he tried to put things in the past, to completely reinvent himself, he couldn't do it. The pain was still there. The man he used to be lived, even if it was in the smallest way.

There are a few moments where you can see his vulnerability. For example, the scene where he and Vander talk for the first time since the betrayal. Despite everything that Vander did to him, Silco still wanted Vander to work with him. He still saw Vander as his brother, and he still loved him. "I trusted you...and you betrayed me." You can see the pain in his eye when he says those words, how much he wishes things were different. We see how lonely he is, how he has no one except Jinx and Sevika, how he's isolated himself from any possible connection. We see how stressed he is all the time, how he's so tired of it all.

But the clearest way to see Silco's humanity is with Jinx. We can see a clear switch in him when he comes across Jinx as a child. He has no reason to take her in, to comfort her, and yet he does it anyway. He holds her with all the gentleness he has and whispers words of solidarity and understanding. Silco is always at his weakest when he's with Jinx, because Jinx makes him human again. Jinx makes him loving and warm and himself again. Jinx is healing him and he cares so much for her. He's so afraid to lose her, so afraid that she'll leave him like Vander did. His manipulation comes from a place of insecurity and fear. He tells her things that aren't true because he wants them to be true so desperately. He wants to be Jinx's family. He wants Jinx to stay with him. Jinx is the only person that is able to do this to him, to show him this softness he hasn't had in so long. Only with her does he talk softly. Only with her does he open up and share his own struggles. She's the only person who he fully trusts. She's the only person he ever engages in affection with and she's the only person he accepts affection from. And when he does touch her, it's always like she's delicate. Like she's something to be treated with care and the utmost preciousness. By having a trauma similar to his own she gives him someone to relate and confide him. Jinx is the only person who can possibly understand Silco and look past his actions to see the real him. A man who was hurt and abandoned so long ago that now all he knows is that hurt. A man who forgot what it was like to have family, to have people that care about you and want you around. Silco let's Jinx hurt him all the time, physically and emotionally, because he's terrified of the idea of being alone again. As long as she doesn't leave him he's fine with the pain, he can take it. He just doesn't want to go back to the way his life was before her. He wants it so much he willingly gives up his goal for it, he willingly DIES for it. Even when she does the thing that traumatized him, even when she kills him in cold blood and seemingly betrays him, he still loves her. He still can't find it in himself to hate her for all the pain she's caused him. She means so much to him that he uses his final breath, his last words, on her. To comfort her, like he's not the one with bullets in his chest. It's so important to him that she knows he loved her with everything he possibly had to offer.

[melanieph321]

you asked for Kenan requests sooo

Can we get Kenan x goth!reader? With her introducing him to goth music and that type of stuff 👉🏻👈🏻

Such a good request! 😮‍💨

Kenan x Reader - Bodily Expressions

+18

Merry Christmas 🎅

Summary - Kenan pays for your new piercing to show his support as your boyfriend.

Enjoy! 🎄

"God, I can't look." Kenan turned his head, looking away as a piercing was inserted into the tips of your ear.

"Oh, come on, baby. I know it looks bad, but it's really not that painfully."

"Really?"

"Really." You assured. "Here, hold my hand if that helps."

"Okay." Kenan turned back to look at you, immediately regretting his decision seeing that the piercer was still going at it. His gaze quickly redirected towards your blank face, not at all affected by the needle in your ear.

"Just like that baby, step closer to me."

Kenan chuckled, carefully making his way towards you, taking your outstretched hands in his. "I'm not much support, aren't I?"

"Nah, you're doing great baby. I'm almost done."

He nodded his head, eventually finding enough courage to inspect your ear. You had always gone without him to the salon, but this time Kenan insisted that he'd take you, that you might need his emotional support.

"Fuck, is that blood?"

But something told you that he had never observed a person getting their ears pierced before.

"Your ear is bleeding baby, does it hurt?"

Janelle, your well trusted piercer, rolled her eyes heavenward. This was her first time meeting Kenan, and let's just say that he was nothing like your previous boyfriends.

"It's okay baby, really. Sometimes it bleeds, sometimes it doesn't, right Janelle?"

Her tattooed eyebrows twitched in response. Her sterilized gloves then reached for the little black pearls that would come to decorate your ear with yet another ornament. Your seventh piercing to be exact.

"There! All done." She said, tugging your earlobe. "Or do you need me to poke holes in all gaps of skin?"

"That's alright, I'm happy for now."

Kenan helped you out of your chair, towards a mirror where you shifted your head, inspecting your ear. "How much will that be for an Industrial?" You asked, pleased with the result.

"Don't worry. I got it baby."

Both you and Janelle froze in awe of Kenan, who stepped up to the cash register before you could.

"Ehm...what do you think you're doing?"

He flahsed you a cheeky smile, retrieving his wallet from his back pocket. "What does it look like I'm doing, I'm paying for my girlfriend's Industrial piercing. Whatever that means."

"Yes, I got that." You giggled. "But why?"

"Perhaps to repay you for the lack of emotional support." Janelle muttered ironically, retrieving the receipt as Kenan's card went through. He took it from her with a bitter expression.

"Kenan?" You demanded an explanation as the two of you left the salon. However, your boyfriend offered you none. Instead, he took your hand and led you around a corner, stopping to press you up against a wall, kissing you senslessy. "Kenan?" You sighed against his mouth, his tongue gentley swiping across your lips.

"What?" He purred, moving on to trace his lips down the pulse of your neck, tasting your skin with feather-like kisses.

"Please." You gasped. "Someone might see us."

"Let them."

You got momentarily swept into it, Kenan, and whatever had come over him. Your fingers raked through his slik-back hair, your arms wrapping around his neck, desperately clinging onto him.

"Sorry." He chuckled darkly, his hand stroking calmly down your back. "I guess I couldn't help myself, your just so fucking hot."

"I am?"

"Yes. And you taste so..." He moved on to nibble your ear, a mistake on Kenan's part as you cried out in pain. "Fuck, sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"It's ok." You winced.

"No...it's not. Fuck, I'm so stupid."

"Kenan?"

He ignored your fretful stare, cradling your face between his hands, inspecting your ear, confirming that he hadn't ripped off the bandage.

"It's okay, baby, really." You assured, seeing the concerned look in your boyfriend's eyes. Kenan didn't seem to hear you, though. "Baby, I'm serious, I'm all good."

He paused to meet your eyes, finally nodding his head. "Alright."

"Yeah?"

His smile was timid. "Yeah, alright."

"Good. Now get off me so I can go see my friends." Your hands playfully pushed him off of you.

"You're leaving?"

"Well....yeah." You hadn't gotten this dressed up just to pierce your ear, you thought. Although spiked leather and fishnet stokings usually decorate your daily attire. It's the clothes you felt the most comfortable in. The style that expressed who you were as a person.

"Oh... okay." Kenan said, slightly disappointed as he stopped cornering you against the wall, putting an end to your spontaneous make-out session.

"I told you that Amy invited me to her gig tonight, didn't I?"

Kenan nodded. "I guess I forgot."

"Feel free to come with me if you like. It's just that, the last time..."

"Yeah, no. I'm good." Kenan said, clearing his throat with the memories of when he last attended your friends' gig. Last time being at some dive bar in the trenches of the city. Perhaps a place where someone of Kenan's reputation, not to mention his occupation, would never be acquainted with. However, Kenan attended that gig for your sake. Withstanding a night of people going feral over raw punk music. Real music to your ears, but darned noise to others, including Kenan.

"I guess I'll just meet you back home then." He said, kissing you goodbye before going your separate ways.

You and Kenan truly had your differences and not just when it came to your taste in music. In fashion as well, not to forget your love for bodily expressions like tattoos and piercings. Here is where you truly differed. However, what made you fit so well together was the fact that you and Kenan never judge each others differences, always willing to support the others' passions.

You even let Kenan drag you to one of his football games once, as your support from the couch was no longer sustainable. There, you didn't take it to heart when a pretty prejudiced comment was made about you online after a photographer spotted you and Kenan together after the game. How could you, when your boyfriend was so happy to just have you there, watching him do what he did best.

"Baby, I'm home!"

Returning to your apartment, you were met by a lovely scene, Kenan passed out on your couch. You had texted him not to wait up for you, but there he was, on the couch, instead of in bed.

"Honey, I'm home." You giggled, stirring Kenan in his sleep by climbing on top of him, serenading his face with soft kisses.

"Mhmm, more." He groaned, not yet awake.

"Time to go to bed baby, you'll have to wake up and help me out."

"You smell nice." He muttered dreamingly. "Just like my girlfriend."

"I am your girlfriend, silly."

Kenan's eyes slowly batted open, a smile spreading on his lips. "My girlfriend?" His hand reached upwards, surpassing your face to tangle into the curls of your hair. "How was Amy's gig?"

"Good. How was your night?"

"Boring, without you."

"That's really sweet of you to say. But it seems to me like you've had a little party of your....own." Your head shifted towards the speakers, confused at what you were hearing. "Is that my playlist?"

Kenan's smile widened. "Maybe."

You perked up, followed by Kenan, who brought himself to sit . He regarded your furrowed expression, your confusion as to why he wasn't vibing to some German trap music like he usually did.

"I tried to go through some of the albums that you've saved." He said, removing a dead eyelash from your flushed cheeks. "But, I dunno....they just weren't my style, you know."

"Kenan, I never asked you to..."

"But I found one song I liked. I think it's because I've heard it before."

"You did? I mean, you have?"

"Yeah." He smiled, reaching for his phone. "I think I've heard mom play it in her car once, when she used to drop me off at school as a kid."

You were dumbfounded and quiet moved by Kenan's effort to give your taste in music another shot. And when the soft riff of a guitar serenade your living room, you suddenly found yourself fighting back tears.

When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind....

"You like this song?"

Kenan shrugged his shoulders. "It reminds me of my mom so...."

He broke his own heart and I watched

As he tried to reassemble it....

"This is Paramore, one of my favorite bands."

A dimple formed with Kenan's grin. "I know." He pulled you towards him, shifting to lay on top of you on the coach.

And my momma swore

That she would never let herself forget....

His hands went to lift up your shirt, exposing your navel and the piercing that was hooked into it. "Can I?"

"Can I what?" You giggled, perking yourself up on your elbows to watch as your boyfriend pressed his lips against your belly, kissing it and then licking it.

And that was the day that I promised

I'd never sing of love if it does not exist....

You squealed. "Kenan. That tickles."

He briefly lifted his head. "Please hold still then."

But darling, you are the only exception

You are the only exception

"Kenan!" Your body squirmed with laughter as Kenan slid his tongue across your skin, stopping to lick all five of the piercing below your chin, taking his time with your nipples.

You are the only exception

You are the only exception....

You arched your back with the sensation, the sheer pleasure of having Kenan's warm mouth cover your breasts, his teeth softly nipping your pebbles.

"Kenan." You whispered, a hand stroking his head.

"Mhmm?" He moved on to your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

"Did you forget something?"

"Forget what?" He shifted his mouth to hover over yours, kissing your lips.

"One last piercing."

Kenan's face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his dark chuckle vibrating against your skin. He then raised himself to meet your eyes, your eyes that wanted him as much as he wanted you. "Be patient, baby. I'm getting there."

Your hands went to lift up his shirt, tossing it somewhere over your heads. His skin was warm against your breasts, his muscles firm.

"Yes, right there baby."

Your arousal reached new heights when Kenan made his way down your body, stopping with his head between your legs.

"Yes, just like that, baby. Take them off, take my panties off."

He chuckled at your eagerness. They way you raised your hips towards his face desperately, wanting to feel him.

"Shhh, be patient, baby." He soothed your needs with two fingers making small circles over your swollen clit.

"Fuck."

"Does that feel good baby?"

"Yes. Yes. But I need more."

"Oh, I know you do." His free hand squeezed his already throbbing dick. Having spent the majority of the night alone, all Kenan had on his mind was you. Now he had you , wet and ready for his mouth to explore your hidden treasures.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." You winced as he dipped his chin to taste you. His tounge searching faithfully for the small diamond hidden between your folds. Your seventh piercing.

The day Kenan discovered it, his eyes had winded in utter suprise. Suprise that quickly turned into fascination. And now you couldn't get his mouth to detach from it. Lucky you.

[if-we-are-free-tell-me-why]

every time I hear someone say "oh you have to listen to Dear Evan Hansen it has such good mental health representation" I cry in Next to Normal

[fishareglorious]

Semmelweis: I have nothing against psychiatrists; if only they would stop prying... Always bragging about their mental strength, forcing their help onto others, and perhaps worst of all, carrying that mirror with them... Semmelweis: If they stop doing all that, I may just come to... respect them.

semmelweis has beef with kakania?

[margindoodles2407]

blame @seeking-elsewhither for this one. it's echo time and i'm having thoughts (tm)

[kuromi-hoemie]

i am once again thinking about The Boy

not the movie lol

[pilonciillo]

on another note

[coridallasmultipass]

Halloween costume hint:

(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)

[littlepuddingsworld]

understood why couldn't get rid of acne for several years. finally did it almost completely and my self-esteem has grown unhealthily, as now love my reflection in the mirror and selfies. not the best thing for a person who is used to saying to themselve, "yes, I'm ugly, but" and trying to be at least smart and funny to have at least a semblance of a personality.

what am I supposed to say now.

"yes im so pretty, handsome, smart, funny, creative, chatty, wonderful, stunning, gorgeous, humanly, but"? rather "... so no 'but's. im fabulous."

[faaun]

.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

agents of shield s7 really was a shockingly good conclusion to something I like… like on it’s own it’s a good season but I don’t really realize how highly I think of it overall (it’s not agents of shield s4 who’s praises I’ll sing any day of the week) until I think about how many concluding seasons or books of shows or series I love could have been better if they were more like it in a variety of ways…

[this-should-do]

ykno i think that only ever being told im physically appealing by drs saying i could be prettier if i did this or that or lost weight or by my mom trying to emphasize how im a pretty GIRL to invalidate my desire to be more masculine most of my life probably affected my ability to feel good about my body

[feralparsnip]

i think the tv throughout is just a mirror. like, when owen/Isobel (sp?) is revisiting the pink opaque on the lcd, and turns it off, and looks at herself in the dark square after, looking towards the audience, her gaze perfectly in parallel with ours behind the 4th wall, and wonders why the show sucks now. like, isnt she choosing death by trying to become the person her dad wanted her to be? it's just a reflection of her, still

like when she's discussing the show, the whole movie, shes discussing her transness, or the seed experiences that allowed her to begin to understand her transness, right? it isn't about the text of the pink opaque at all and that's part of why we the audience see so little of the "cannon" pink opaque, bc the literal text of it is beside the point, unimportant. whats important is how the show showed her part of herself, how it reflected parts of her she didn't understand yet but long felt

and then in the final scene, we the audience see the tv inside her in the mirror and we've all come full circle, no longer needing the screen of the kids show at all, only the naked truth of it. i find it significant also that she looks at the tv glow in the mirror (instead of seeing a mirror in the tv as before) AND also just looks down, at herself, the most connected to herself she has ever been, seeing herself in a way we the audience cannot: through her own eyes from her own body. and there, in that moment, it's like she doesn't need any of the mirrors at all because she knows herself for real

i saw the tv glow is so concerned with gaze, and so good at choosing when to confront the audience with that amd when to just let us sit. so many times watching this film i felt suddenly and uncomfortably seen, like pinned to the wall, by somebody who had stood where i stood and knew about my bullshit. it had a horror movie sense about it, making me want to hide from that sense of being seen and then allowing me as an audience member that breathing space before yanking it away again.

i put it to you that the televisions are not the only persistent metaphor for mirrors throughout. also interesting bc mirrors, like tv screens dont just transfer the gaze but transform it -- things are backwards in the mirror, things are distant on the tv screen. there may be something to unpack there too

there is something really compelling to me about owen’s dad always being at the tv, and then when the dad dies, owen says something along the lines of “i have to become a man now” while deliverymen put a tv on his porch.

which is fascinating because the pink opaque was such a real, tangible, life-giving escape — but here, for the dad and for adult owen, tv is now a death / “becoming a man” / keeping people back from choosing life. anybody got any thoughts on this?

[vivalasthedas]

i hope when veilguard comes out people will like... let people dissect it and be critical and very 'the curtains were blue symbolized xyz' and not get shitty about that way of engaging with things you enjoy and claiming that any negative opinion is 'fandom drama'.

like for sure if you don't like talking about that shit, great, don't engage, leave it alone. But the amount of times you'll be having a perfectly fun talk about biowares Unfortunate Implications because of their constant statement of real world parallels and inspirations and their handling of shit in game and how that unintended outcome effects their intended story or something and someone comes along and like fandom high horses about how it's not that deep let people enjoy things why are you being so negative whine whine bitch bitch about it is wild.

Let people engage with fandom however they enjoy. For some that will be Big Think. It will be analyzing shit, no matter their skill level at doing so, and digging into it. If that's not it for you, that's awesome! I'm sure most people like both at different times, different moods, different media properties. Sometimes you want to get in the fandom place and go 'i bet this blorbo would cry if their tamagotchi died' and other times you want to talk about the accidental 'colonialism is good' narrative in the scifi movie you just watched or how xyz thing is part of a larger character motif about 123.

Respect whatever the fuck fandom means to other people, and just don't engage with shit you don't want to. Either direction. Don't go on posts of people being silly goofy and happy and be a jag, don't go on posts being negative or critical about something and get mad about people being negative. Grow up. Move on. None of it matters.