#I am so normal abt these 2 characters who have never met

[enduracarrotchips]

encounter

[starcloud-nova]

PLEASE ramble to me about your OCs I am 👀👀👀

Catla this ask has been sitting in my inbox for so long that it has gotten EMBARASSING but I will move past all that and take this opportunity you have given me. Thank u. This ended being 2k+ words and it’s late and I’m tired of half-assedly proofreading so I am putting it out into the world.

Some preface before we get into it (there are a lot of prefaces bear with me!): The story of my original OCs (just 2-3 characters) was “what if there was a character, and she was adopted by [character I am too embarrassed to name], and there was found family.” This was the end goal. Everything else was backstory. They started off as Marvel OCs, then BNHA, then Haikyuu, then Black Clover, then DC, before I finally decided that they were too far removed from any canon to fit into a preexisting story and finally made them just original characters.

By the time I hit DC OCs’, I decided I needed a team of people for my main OCs (siblings) to be friends and allied with, to juxtapose the batfam, so I created a plethora of OCs to go along with them. Suddenly we had a lot of characters, and I needed to thread them all together. I developed my own dynamics, backstories, and other details for all of these characters. 

Instead of starting with an archetype or trope (hothead, scarecrow, hero, rebel, sunshiney, miserable, etc), I started with different events or moments in their lives. Essentially, I went backward, deciding key events before personality (kind of like how real life works…) This is what makes it so hard to describe my OCs to people. There isn’t just a set of keywords I can pull out of nowhere*, like “happy-go-lucky” or “angry” because they react differently in different situations. The only way to know the full range of my characters is to…know them.

*This is for most of my OCs. some of them I never developed as much, so they’re a little more black and white. Looking at you, Kicks.

That was a lot of ramble (it’s well past 1am as I write this) but to boil it down, the reason why i shared all of this information is this: My OCs are not ‘characters’ to me. They are people. They are so complex and have rich histories and aren’t just moodboards or aesthetics to me. And there’s no single plotline that I follow through either (more on this later**), because there is no overarching plot throughout their entire lives. Conflicts get resolved, or there are multiple at once, just like how someone can have both school and home life drama at once.

No, I don’t know their favorite songs, or movies, or colors, or what their ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ are. Yes, I know that Daiken would never ever speak to Brii again after everything, and he would definitely fight her if they ever met again, but he still picked up the phone when she called because he knew that she would only call him if it was important. And it was.

Sorry,. I am so normal abt my OCs. no one will read this post LMAO but . oh well. Already at 500 words and no sign of the end.

So the most basics are this:

For the sake of this post, ‘canon’ is at this point in time: Sachi Kojima (she) (16) lives with her three brothers, her twin Kazuki (he) (16), younger (half-)brother Kaito (he) (11), and elder brother Daiken (he) (21). Daiken is their legal guardian and took custody of them when he was 18, after The Incident™ when their severely abusive father (who was also a crimelord) was arrested. Her mother died when she was 4. 

Remember that thing I mentioned about the crimelord? Yeah, so as it turns out [bear with me this is the least plausible part of the story] all of the local bigger criminals/crimelords in the area…participate in ‘bring your kid to work day’, like, most days. Yeah, yeah I know. All of the Criminals™ are lowkey training their kids to follow in their footsteps and take them with them to places but also leave them in this old ass conference room for hours at a time I DONT KNOW it doesnt sound plausible to me either. Anyways. Jokingly, this group of kids call themselves the ‘Junior Murderers Club’ and they fuck around and do a whole lot of Nothing and bond while their parents talk about crime and get drunk and shit. They also call themselves ‘Sixes’ because they’re either six inches away [from their parent] or six rooms away, unless they wanna be six feet under…haha.

This group of kids exists in the ‘pre-canon’ of the story (from when Daiken was 12-17) and consists of: 

Daiken Kojima (he/him) (age 14 for reference)

Former team leader

Original codename: Moonstrike

Current codename: Redpoint

Maisie “Maze” Morian (she/her) (15) [deceased]

Codename: Freyja

Brielle “Brii” Hayes (she/her) (14)

Codename: Widow

Jacob Myers (he/they) (14)

Codename: Nightlight

James “Jamie” Moreno (he/him) (13) [deceased]

Codename: Piccolo

[Deadname] “Amelie” Espinosa (she/they) (12)

Original codename: Torito

Current codename: Mariposa

Lorena Inés “LS” Sauly (she/they) (12) 

do NOT call her by her first name or they will kill u

Codename: Siren

[Deadname] “Kicks” Hall (they/them) (11)

Codename: Kicks

Daiken is one of the few people that can still get away with calling Kicks ‘KJ’, their old nickname derived from their deadname + their codename, Kicks.

Azarus “Azz” Adams (he/him) (10)

Codename: Merlin

Best friends w/Kazuki (currently 17), also hates his first name lol

They are all trauma buddies and went on missions together n stuff and they all mostly*** hated their parents. After Sachi + co. (her siblings) escape their situation, they all kind of break off, and eventually they form the Information League, or the IL, or just… no name at all because I’m still not satisfied with that one.

***EXCEPT Brii who was treated quite well by her father and was brainwashed/manipulated into believing that what they did was okay in some capacity. She is essentially Daiken’s narrative foil and I love her to death. She is the worst. Stupid gay bitch <3

One of the previous generations of Sixes is Perria Dawson (she/her, codename: Delphi), who is ten years older than Daiken (so in canon, 31) who watched silently from the shadows, collected information, and slowly worked her way out of the complicated network of crime that she was entrapped in to eventually Get Out. She specialized in information gathering and staying under the radar. The IL’s base is a warehouse that her father used to own but sorta kinda forgot about, so she took over it when she got away from him and made it HQ. Notably, it has a big open space with high ceilings that they call the Fly, short for flyspace, a few rooms out of the way (kind of hidden) that she lives in with her kids (see below) part-time, and high rafters with those criss-crossy metal ladder things that are a bunch of X’s and stuff. 

In current canon, she’s a programmer or something like that and works a day job and while she’s cool with calls, everyone else feels bad for mooching off of her, so she’s Not to be disturbed during this time. She is my Deus ex machina. Anytime something goes Majorly wrong, someone always has to say the line “I’m calling Perria”. 

Perria also has the habit of picking up strays lmao and later takes in Manha Latif (she her, codename: Trebleclef, 15 in canon), my little meow meow who was not a Six but had a much beloved older brother who disappeared after dealing with some fucked up shit, so she got a little toooo involved in the nightlife and the IL got involved and now she’s one of them. Her brother (Binyamin) is probably dead rip and during all of this mess, her mom goes back overseas to Pakistan and is currently living there, so Perria was like “yea dude I’ll take you in”, so she lives with Perria

A year and a half later, she adopts the strangest fuckin little kid who talks like an adult and doesn’t know her name and appears from the shadows when you call for her and oh shit she’s probably magic or something. When you let a six-year-old pick their own name they will generally pick shit like Andromeda (or Anna for short). They refer to her as ‘The Kid™’ or ‘Star’ in the field.

Other character info I didn’t mention:

Sachi’s codename is ‘Scapegoat’ to reclaim her identity as the childhood scapegoat, because “everything’s always my fault, isn’t that right? 🙄”

Kazuki’s and Kaito’s I am still not completely satisfied with. I have spent many walks home contemplating something that doesn’t sound like a 12 year old came up with but it is hard I tell you. Kaito doesn’t really go into the field much anyway because everyone is determined to not traumatize him anymore than he already is but the name I picked for him is Gear. Kazuki is Steel.

If anyone has suggestions, my criteria are that Kazuki’s starts with an S (to match his sister) and sounds somewhat physics-y or steampunk/cyberpunky. Kaito’s is so weird that anything works really but he likes animals and will probably be a vet so keep that in mind. Also reminder he is 11.

Now that most of my characters are out of the way it’s time to explain the **many plotlines that I have going on. When I come up with scenarios in my mind, they fit into the below categories. Essentially, if I wanted to actually sit down and tell the story of these kids, these are the options that I have.

One: The Early Days (2011-2019) 

The abuse Daiken, Sachi, Kazuki, and Kaito faced at the hands of their father for 8 years. This is either from Sachi’s or Daiken’s point of view. 

Sachi has the unique experience of being the scapegoat and most hated child and also only girl (which is important here as well as later****). Also goes into Sachi’s relationship with her best friends (Bianca/Bia (she), who she was probably in love with [or was she?] and Trey (he)), her twin, lying pathologically to all the adults in her life, her anger issues, and more. 

Daiken has the experience of being the eldest child forced to look after his siblings while work alongside his father on missions and meeting people as well as maintain his grades to escape to medical school and a better future. He’s a lil parentified. Lol. 

Two: Daiken as a Six (2013-2018) 

Trigger warning for child death in this one.

The struggles that Daiken experienced before escaping his father at 18 (when he got arrested). This mainly focuses on how Brii is his narrative foil as well as goes into more detail on the missions he went on with LS and Jacob and Jamie and Azz. When Daiken was 14, he was going through his father’s computer, and accidentally discovers that Jamie had died a few weeks prior, at only 13. This devastates him, and while he was already against the work he was forced into, the circumstances of Jamie’s death (at the hands of one of Jamie’s father’s employees in the mob, used brutally as a human shield), radicalizes him, and he ends up toe-to-toe with the ever-loyal Brii. Brii is like Daiken but her father actually loves her deeply and manipulates/abuses her differently. Years later, Maze (who Brii was secretly in love with) dies at 19, protecting Brii on a mission, and while this would have radicalized Daiken, this only further cements in Brii’s eyes that what they are doing is the way to keep the most people safe. This story is really interesting and nuanced in a lot of ways.

Three: To Grow Again (TGA)/After (2019-) 

The story of Sachi and her siblings’ lives after they’re taken out of their father’s custody and transferred into Daiken’s care a few months later. Mostly a story of healing and setbacks as Sachi experiences loss, works through trauma, adjusts to a new way of life, and also forms close bonds with the IL. This is the Good Ending

An AU of this: Daiken becomes a teen dad and shares custody of his daughter Aika with her mom. This is mostly fluffy slice of life stuff and isn’t canon to anything. 

Another AU of this: I like to play with a roleswap/reverse siblings so that everyone is backward in age. I haven't played with this concept as much so feel free to ask more abt this.

Four: The Dimension Girls (2020-) 

Eventually I got bored of the happily ever after stuff so I gave Sachi the power to travel between dimensions and made her a guardian of the planet Earth. I have a lot of lore I’m still working on (ATSV gave me so many good ideas, but also hey I already had the ‘anomaly’ concept!) but I’ve tried to distinguish between dimensions, universes, and smaller changes in dimensions. That’s a different post. 

Sachi and two other girls****, Allison (Aussie, she/they, 19) and Imogen (Irish, she/her, 16) are meant to help dimensional anomalies, act as ambassadors to other dimensions, and protect the dimension from threats. I used the concept of the 5 senses, where Allison is sight, Sachi is hearing, and Imogen is taste (which I decided includes gasses/the lungs). There are 5 senses, obviously, but I decided that the other 2 girls haven’t activated their powers yet, so right now, Sachi’s Earth doesn’t have all of its guardians, making the burden greater on the three. Not every dimension uses the 5 senses in their powers, or even has the same rules for picking guardians. In this dimension, the guardian powers are passed through the girl in the bloodline (trans-inclusive! Which is why none of the others can be transfemme and Sachi can’t be transmasc lol) until there isn’t one, then it jumps to a new family. There’s some fun horror where these senses sometimes cross over and they can experience things from other dimensions (phantom hearing, vision, smoke in Im’s lungs, etc). There’s also this mirror dimension where they go and blah blah I don’t feel like explaining.

I love doing crossovers so when I do those I just make it a dimensional thing. I tried staying away from the ‘fantasy structure is just a bureaucracy hierarchy’ concept because I hate it, but there are also beings with more power, like Cosmic/Cozy who is an inter-dimensional higher being who steps in when situations get dire. Pronouns pending because I can’t decide between they/them and he/she so y’all can help me out with that as well.

An AU of this: Sachi also gets stuck in timeloops sometimes, caused by her powers somehow. I have fun with it. This one is more canon than the other AU I have, and I headcanon that she wears a watch that beeps at 11:50 pm and again at midnight because when she loops it’s always at midnight, and she can get her bearings at 11:50 pm so that if she ends up looping, she’s somewhere safe and can remember what she was doing at the time to avoid suspicion of the others. It’s a vibe.

Another AU of this: Sachi keeps getting dreams of treading water in an endless ocean as her mother calls out to her and tells her it’s okay + something ominous about where to find her/info about her death. Every time Sachi wakes up, water materializes out of nowhere and she awakens drenched and exhausted, a pool of water around her. This period of time would be either on and off for a few months or for a few weeks straight. She sets an alarm for every 20 minutes so that when she sleeps, she never starts dreaming. She’s constantly exhausted and is living hell for this period of time until the dreams stop.

I think that’s all of the information about my OCs and To Grow Again, the name I picked for their story. This was a lonnggggg post so I will not be surprised if no one reads this. If you made it this far and read most of it, leave a goat emoji in the replies <3. Thank you for letting me rant Catla!!!!! Hope you all enjoyed lol. There is so much information still in my brain, resting, that I have not released yet, so if you have any questions, please hmu with an ask!!! I am obsessed and will respond.

peace ✌️

[t4tklonoa]

you're one of the most based coroika fans ive ever seen . What are your thoughts on (and hcs for maybe?) the best 8

Thank u v much!!! I try my best.......

AND. I absolutely love the best 8 I think they are so silly. the designs are super cool (even if they ar just the promo kids) and their personalities are v distinctive and fun

although I think the group is alitttlle too big ? and I miss the side characters that are part of the teams getting at least a little spotlight like with Avi (I only rll hav this problem with the hierarchy). I am not asking that every side character gets one but at least one or two since the important teams are doubled would be nice. and from the looks of it (slight spoilers for chapter 75) Wire doesn't have a v important connection to any of his teammates.... BUT also it's v early to determine if any side characters will get more attention ! so u can tots just ignore this part (also buzz glasses and polpo may be the lucky ones since they appear alot with their captains)

also headcanons under cut bc I'm supppper normal abt the coroikers and hav one million headcanons ^^ (also haven't been able to read the most recent inkling almanac. some hc's may make no sense considering the new info)

MITSU !!!

It is so genderqueer ur honor. slaps she/it pronouns on her

she grew up along Kojake they are siblings... Mitsu and Kojake developed their own kind of sign language to communicate, it's v bare bones but they are living their best life out there man

I refuse to believe it collects junk as a hobby only. Poor thang doesn't have a house it lives in junk yards with Kojake

not a headcanon but she's so cool. wow

HORNMET !!!

TRANSFEM ! she has facial hair and rll enjoys showing it off

has a crush on Mitsu maybe? maybe you'll never know (she does she is alesbian)

looooves collecting rocks and sharp things

girl who bites

BARRELEYE !!!

considers all of his teammates as family :]

ABSOLUTELY. loves Polpo to death he's always talking abt how great his punk rock sis is the best

has a huge scar that goes thru his face. why? he fell off the stairs when he was little and landed on smth sharp

one million neos but orange's fav one is pop/popself

SHELLMET !!!

transfem also. she is besties with Hornmet

autism stares at u forever. also chronic :3 face

rll good at anarchy, especially clam blitz (SOMEHOW)

she's the oldest out of the best 8, due to this all her teammates are younger than her, they are all little siblings 2 her

she met her teammates when she randomly matched with them for a clam blitz round. they were rll struggling so she was like 'y'know what. I could help u get better ar this mode!' and then she adopted them

SHADY !!!

the most nonbinary to ever nonbinary. uses they/it/ika

Also autism stares at u forever. when ika met shellmet for the first time it was like !!!

missing a fang, got in a nasty fight to defend Flannel (they get bullied :( )

8 BIT !!!

exgender !!! goes by it/its and lots of neos (also goes by dynamo/dynamoself like Rider in my headcanons so they both get v confused when ppl refer to them and they are like. in the same room)

Also goes by many names ! Blaze and Flame are it's fav ones besides 8 bit

chronic fatigue, scorch is always drinking energy drinks

has a weird friendship with trisun... they talk nonstop for some months and then for some months they don't talk 2 eachother.

thang who bites

is rll into art and crafts, doesn't get the opportunity to do stuffies often but it rll loves its hobby (also boom encountered Goggles once in an art and crafts club once. boom was so akward abt it lol)

OCHO !!!

Hemigirl ! goes by he/they/bird/sparrow

has a special interests in birds, owns one million pet birds (rich kid) he loves them all tho (I have to get around to deciding their names and species ough).

had a crush on trisun but now he doesn't know how they feel abt xem (it was v one sided, Ocho barely talked to trisun. later on I think they would b qpps tho!)

doesn't have friends. has been like that their entire life... till bird met Wire ! kinda. he rll wants to get closer to them but Wire is a complex individual and Ocho has no idea how to socialize

WIRE !!!! (get ready for my autism)

nonbinary swagger. they/them

they are mute !!

fast learner, really flexible. they play many different weapons but prefer playing as support most of the time

was trained by shellmet for a bit, developed a huge ego due to this. they think they could've made it as far as they did without shellmet, bc why did they surpass her (lie they believ. they are both as strong) if they aren't just. naturally talented amIright ? (they have problems)

owns aloooot of bracelets. including chewy ones bc they rll enjoy chewing on stuff.

constantly chewing or licking their lips and fingers, they hav alot of scars around their mouth, on their lips and fingers due to this

thang who bites (u)

they have a pet Sparrow (that's how they and Ocho met) and a pet sea slug (Yellow edged polycera)

(chapter 75 kinda spoilers for tha next headcanons)

they and their team have known eachother for most of their life (paralleling blue team!) they are not the same age tho. (buzzcut is the oldest, Wire and punk are middle and the youngest is double-bun) ALSO. they all know ASL

punk does a lot of the talking for them if the ppl they are hanging out with don't know ASL or Wire is too tired to sign (punk knows Wire v well so they can tell most of the time basic stuff Wire wants to say)

[maruyaaya]

Hey Imeda! I am Low! I read your Pandalily fic recently and I adored it! I saw that you haven't had this account long and since I can't peruse/stalk your account to satiate my curiosity I've decided to inquire here :) I hope you don't mind.

Do you have any specific Pandora or Lily headcanons you can share? Do you have any WIPs in the works? Do you have any songs you are listening to on repeat right now? What are the top 5 ships that are giving you the most insistent brain rot currently?

And finally, I am done pestering you and I'm wishing you a day full of wonder <3

OMG HI LOW!! yes absolutely i am always happy to talk about pandalily they are my beloveds <3 yeah i set up this acc relatively recently bc i wanted a fresh start for my ao3 and i haven’t really had the chance to do much on it yet (i am unfortunately a full time university student) but i am so happy you sent an ask bc i am always excited to talk to ppl!! feel free to send more asks or even dm me for whatever reason!!

i’m gonna do the pandalily headcanons last bc i have so many of them, but firstly do i have any wips:

oh i ABSOLUTELY have wips. i actually am the worst at starting wips and never finishing them, but as for main ones i’m working on rn, i have a prongsfoot wip that’s currently around 50k words 75% done, a marauders x daisy jones & the six au, a (you have to hear me out on this one okay bc i know nobody ships this but me BUT HEAR ME OUT) friends with benefits sirius x barty fic that’s about half done, and another pandalily fic that is basically just taking shape but i don’t have much to say about it yet (im actually just the worst multishipper ever and i ship my favourite character, sirius, with every single person who dares to so much as breathe in his direction)

songs on repeat

ok so i am totally willing to just link my spotify, in fact: here and i have a pandalily playlist in the works here, but specifically, i’ve had never love an anchor by the crane wives, three by sleeping at last, and funeral by phoebe bridgers on loop over and over as well as the entire daisy jones & the six album.

top 5 ships giving me brainrot

1. PRONGSFOOT!! prongsfoot is forever in my head as one of my fav ships ever

2. pandalily! i absolutely adore their dynamic and the little version of them that i have created in my head

3. rosekiller. i think this is a relatively unpopular opinion but i am so intrigued by their dynamic and i’m currently in the process of drafting a LONG fic about them but i haven’t done much work on it yet

4. dorlene. UGH MY OG ENEMIES TO LOVERS i am forever obsessed with them and i can’t believe i haven’t written them yet

5. normally i’d have jegulus around here i think but currently i’ve been having intensive brainrot about the idea of a dynamic between barty and sirius. i think they’re two characters who are very similar and yet hate each other and i think it’s really interesting to explore a two sides of the same coin dynamic between them and idk i have a lot of thoughts about them i could absolutely rant for a very long time abt the sirius/barty dynamic i have in my head

bonus bc it isn’t a marauders ship but my favourite ship of ALL TIME is soukoku, aka dazai/chuuya from bungou stray dogs. i like them a Normal amount (i’m crazy abt them)

and now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, here are a few of my pandalily headcanons that i can think of off the top of my head

first of all, my fav pandalily song is trouble by halsey. it’s literally them. that’s their dynamic to me

pandora’s much more open about her oddness and want for Blood while lily is more closed off about it. it’s still there—absolutely still there—but pandora kind of awakens it in her and helps her to realize that it’s okay to show that part of her

they met through james and regulus and often go on double dates with them

they absolutely get matching tattoos. probably ethel cain lyrics or something abt the inherent eroticism of cannibalism idk

my favourite headcanon is that pandora and evan are twins and evan tries to get lily the shovel talk when he meets her for the first time, but actually just ends up half in love with her bc he thinks she’s so cool

speaking of, evan and lily joke that they’re going to run away and elope so that evans name could be evan evans and pandora thinks it’s the funniest thing ever

bonus headcanon that evan is the older twin by a few minutes but pandora tells everyone that she is and he doesn’t correct her

they watched bones and all together and every 5 minutes they would whisper “this is so us” to each other

they absolutely LOVE baking together. they do it at least once a week and they make cookies or cupcakes or something and decorate them like pinterest photos and give them to their friends

they have two shared pinterest boards. one is really cutesy baking ideas and cute room decor inspo and the other is full of quotes abt cannibalism and blood and eating each other whole. they treasure both of these boards equally

lily is the biggest taylor swift fan ever and she makes pandora listen to her songs together. pandora moderately enjoys taylor swift, but will listen to her constantly to please lily. lily’s favourite song is this is me trying and pandora likes cowboy like me

they give each other flowers all the time (notably lilies ofc). pandora can’t stand to watch them die and always presses them and keeps them all in a little notebook with the date they got them

they’re obsessed with biting each other. like not even just during sex, they do it all the time. they’ll be watching a movie and pandora will just reach over and bite lily’s shoulder for fun

their favourite show to watch together is hannibal. they’re crazy about it. they rewatch it all the time to an unhealthy extent

they often say really strange declarations of love to each other in front of other people like “i want to eat you down to the bones” or “i want to rip open your skin and crawl inside your kidneys and sleep in there” and everyone around them just laughs nervously and can’t tell if they’re serious or not

i probably rambled much more than i needed to but i am always very excited to talk!!

[solaarbeeam]

I posted 494 times in 2022

That's 494 more posts than 2021!

262 posts created (53%)

232 posts reblogged (47%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@avid-idiot

@httpghostface

@shoverse

@https-true-egoist

@sulkylious

I tagged 290 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#— [ asks and replies ✉️ ] - 18 posts

#my wifey : nessa - 16 posts

#my gamer bf : rez - 13 posts

#jordans screaming tag - 7 posts

#jordans reblong tag - 7 posts

#— [ melli's the sweetest 🍬] - 6 posts

#the tallest mf i've met : aspen - 6 posts

#my wife : nessa - 4 posts

#maya's yelling - 4 posts

#gay. just simply gay : atlas - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#so when my other friend anthony tried to confront her she cursed him out in front of him and started talkin abt his family and stuff

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

okay but like fuck the MBTI’s and whatever whatever here’s the real question

are you an ass, thighs, tits, or hugs and kisses guy

19 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

#4

y’all cant tell me osamu isnt the most wack person ever

AND THIS IS WHY

he’s even more wack than atsumu. osamu literally knows how to do parkour and gymnastics and stuff but he uses it in the most obscene situations

this man will put extra salt in your food if you pissed him off that day and giggle as you gag and everyone thinks its suna but its really him

he’s also a certified omnisexual and a demi-boy. argue with the wall

but back to what i was saying

he’ll do the most craziest and random things to get back at you. You called out in class while he was raising his hand and you weren’t. oops! guess who cant find their shoes. he will steal them, OUT OF THE BLUE RANDOM.

he always blames them on suna bc kita loves him like he’s his child but in reality he’s more of a menace than atsumu

i love him

25 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

#3

MAKE IT NATURAL

SUGAWARA KOUSHI -> WEEK ONE, DAY ONE

The fresh summer afternoon was pretty, with the sun high in the sky coming through the windows. It was about a solid 11:30 AM, and the sun was shining as bright as it liked to.

However, it wasn't for you as you were struggling in the bathroom of your huge house, since Sugawara works at a private K-12 School, trying to comb and pick out your hair while it was not listening.

Sugawara was downstairs, with the TV, watching Rupauls Drag Race, until he heard your frustrated screams of annoyance from the bathroom upstairs.

With a ragged sigh, he took himself up the stairs to find you literally dragging your comb through your hair, trying to comb it out before washing it.

He sighed to himself once again, and gave you a hug. He took the comb from you, and proceeded to do it himself.

To your surprise, your hair actually was tame for once in your life. As Sugawara combed through the tangled hair, you were still sort of mad, but only because somehow your hair didn’t wanna behave when you did it.

However, you sucked it up. Because your hair was never gonna be this tame again.

32 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

#2

SPOTIFY’S DOWN NOOOO

37 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

# sakusa, komori, and hinata ! i feel like they have undiagnosed ODD (like me) and had struggled with it growing up, and their families had already been very taxing on them. Hinata’s dad kept causing problems which resulted in him walking out on Shoyo, Natsu, and their mom. Sakusa and Komori had naturally taxing families

this led to a lot of fights and arguments, which ended up with sakusa and komori becoming more aggressive than the normal person.

so when you come along, its way different.

they’re hostile towards you, they’re more aggressive when it comes to certain things, and they love to try and start fights with you just to push you away.

but you still stayed.

and that’s exactly why, as soon as they had asked you why, they might’ve been afraid of you leaving.

but not as much as they would be, because you always stayed.

70 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

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[turboautismrobot]

very quick abt yume nikki i played it a bit before and i found it boring as hell, theres a fangame called .flow that i enjoyed much more but that shits all subjective

ANYWAYS. HELLO CHARLOTTE. I DONT REMEMBER EVERY DETAIL SO IM GONNA USE A PLAYTROUGH FOR REFERENCE LETS GO

i need you to keep in mind this is a series od 3 games and 2 (soon to be 3) spin offs, the game im telling you about now (ep 1 - junk food, gods and teddy bears) doesnt take itself very seriously untill about halfway, theres gore in this game and its the most light hearted one of the bunch, bucle up

the game starts with a black screen and the dialogue

my world met its end a long time ago

humanity as i knew it has ceased to exist and disappeared without a single trace

the gods they belived in have died, and churches were built as their graves

chaos turned into order, and it finally became quiet

all i can do is dream, for i am so, so tired

before i abandon the words that form noise in my head, will you be so kind as to join me in dream seeing?

hello charlotte: episode 1

"junk food, gods and teddy bears"

the game then introcuces you to charlotte

cut to her room and i am already appealing to your omori liker brain just look at it

she then prompts you to take her to the dining room and you can now explore

the big thing on the wall with a heart is a screen, the screen numbered 0001, it tells you to

look for puppeteer symbols (the heart)

only people with the letter X in their name are able to open doors marked with the puppeteer symbol

the green and blue squares are ominicubes, theyre omnipotent living things that store information and allow its users to teletransport

never put soap in an ominicube

the green ominicube is teleports charlotte to different areas of the house

the blue ominicube is a data ominicube and it has information about screens, ominicubes and the tenants of the house (charlotte, aiden, huxley and bennett)

opening the menu charlotte has the opition of STUFF [items and tasks] and REWIND POINT [save] she has the "book of truth" item that she presumably made herself and it has this exposition dump that im just gonna add here cause idk how to words it

worth noting, seth is charlottes puppeteer, you play as seth, not charlotte, you control her every action because free will is an illusion

also she talks to you all the time and its so sweet, for example you can tell her to take some pepper spray and she'll reply with "wouldnt a flamethrower be more effective?" also the universe of hello charlotte is very much surreal and she just talks to you like this like it was the most normal thing ever and not concerning or at the very least hilarious but considering the people she lives with yeah its normal for her

TALKING OF WHICH CHARACTER INTRODUCTION TIME? CHARACTER INTRODUCTION TIME! these are the entries from the ominicube

now this is gonna be sloppy cause tumblr MURDERED the entire thing i wrote which was like a fucking mile of text and im going to commit unspicable things because of this <3 ow my fucking thumbs

Charlotte

Current User who is yet to complete the Educational Program

our protagonist baby shes super nice and sees the good in everyone, shes super heavily implied trans and thats good for her we love her shes the baby ever

Aiden

Ground Floor's butler. User Note: Hobbies include sewing and taxidermy.

he is super nice and also literally krampus

charlotte stayed up to see santa one night and ended up not only kidnapping but befriending KRAMPUS

he likes making dresses for her :]

Huxley

A surgeon who owns an interdimensional clinic on the 2nd floor. User Note: Once ordered 30 boxes of duct tape for unknown purposes."

hes surely. a guy

theres not a ton about him but he is. very morally gray hes cool

Bennett

Occupation and real name unknown. User Note: <Bennett> is the name on the badge of his hazmat suit

bennett is one of huxley's workers, he has a super depressing backstory and these two kind of literally broke and entered into charlotte's house and have been living there ever since

bennett eats soap, hes high up on soap all the time and hes super cheerful (because of the soap, bennett and all of huxleys workers are actually not doing well at all mentally and the soap is their fucked up anti depressent)

aiden -> charlotte -> felix (ill get to him in a sec) -> huxley -> bennett (he has many eyes cause hes a survival of the eye plague which makes eyes grow in tissue including internal orgains, i have no idea if he can see out of those)

anyways detour over back to the game

after going to the dining room charlotte goes to see huxley in his clinic, this clinic has screens that detail how charlotte met the umbrella man, hes like her father figure but i dont. really trust him

he also gave her the yellow ribbon she wears around her neck

im having to take breaks writing this because tumblr made me so frustrated

huxley needs to ask you a favor to take care of his nephew felix for him for a little while, felix is. not super pleased about being babyset

hes very short and a little bit rude but im sure he means well <3 autism

to pass time charlotte goes to sleep and felix jokes about taking readings of her dreams (hes a scientist also hes like 13) and right before charlotte sleeps theres this scary sequence where something its approacing her bed but it turns out to be her cat

whos also a maggot

the magcat

cut to whenever, charlotte hears a loud noise and wakes up, goes to look for felix and finds a giant tv, she jumps inside and ends up in the tv world

the tv world is a collection of different realms called channels that are inhabited by pythias

pythias are my little guys i fucking love pythias this is like only official art of all 3 pythias from the first game i talked about the one with white hair before

white pythia -> librarian pythia -> bunny pythia

female pythias (freyas) have 3 eyes and male pythias have 4 (freis), some of them worship oracles but thats. second half stuff. im not gonna spoil the part of the game that takes itself seriously

anyways the first channel charlotte ends up in looks like this, its a satire of every rpg maker horror game ever and its blondie locks evil and fucked up version its called the teddy bear channel

the pythia we meet here is the bunny freya btw

i think this is all im gonna say about ep 1, again this is a 3 game 2 spin off series and ep 1 is the most light hearted of them so EP 2&3 + DELIRIUM + HEAVENS GATE LIGHTNING ROUND

Hello Charlotte: Episode 2 - Requiem Aeternam Deo

cw - religious themes (as in stuff about gods like the oracles from before, no real world religions here if thats a concern), suicide themes, actual suicide, self harm alegory, bullying, whatever the fuck is going on in the endings

this one has a much, much more depressing atmosphere than the first game, i cant talk about charlotte in this game because it spoils literally the third to last scene of ep 1 but we have

Anri (Henrrieta)

charlotte's best friend! canonically bi and diagnosed as a bpd haver by my qpp

C

a boy who genuenly belives hes literally god and needs to get rid of this vessel to acheive his godhood again (translation: he wants to die), charlotte befriends this guy and ends up being bullied with him as a result

Florence

one of huxley's workers, she gives you a data cube of bennett she has as blackmail and the data on it is literally just all of his trauma lmao and also she looks like gumi like the vocaloid

Hello Charlotte: Episode 3 - Childhood's End

cw - religious themes (not real world religions) drugs, suicide, murder, overdose, a literal cult, genocide, rather unhealthy relationship, hallucination (the evil and fucked up kind), eyestrain

this game is complete whiplash from the other two because THIS CHARLOTTE (theres mutliple timelines, each one is a floor of the house) IS FUCKING EVIL, SHE RUNS A LITERAL CULT which is so definetly an alegory about cancel culture, oh everyone in universe hates her, shes the fandom's favorite girl

shes obsessed with the color white too for some reason, she also Knows she cant die and will just respawn and she Abuses That, giving us the iconic "Ah, she killed herself with a toothbrush" line

we also have the constant flip flopping between true and false realm so

False Realm

Charlotte

already talked about her

Anri

anri is again charlottes friend but charlotte is a grade A dick to her like oh my god this charlotte is. fucking evil (i say this as if it was surprising like she didnt have a tv program called execution hour where she kills people live on stream)

C

ill get to him :]

Florence

SHES BACK she has a breakdown/traumadump in the second half

True Realm

Charles

so this guy is like, god in the false realm (its blurry), a shape shifter, canonically genderfluid, sometimes he uses vincent as a vessel to go talk to charlotte in the false realm as C, also hes incredibly suicidal and has evil face blindness where everyone looks like they came out of tlou

Vincent

a boy charles meets online and becomes very unhealthy in love with, literally the same as C from hc2

Anri

SHES IN THE TRUE REALM TOO people usually group her charles and vincent together as the "true realm trio", here shes pretty much the same as her false realm counterpart but also shes charles' girlfriend, iirc she loves charles way more than he loves her

Scarlett

oh. oh boy. scarlett

so, her actual first appearence is a single scene in ep2 where she jumps off the roof of the school

here shes charles' unborn sister, his mom seems to love scarlett way more than him even though she was never even born

charles has pretty bad hallucinations with her where she berates him around and is really really mean, like she tried to kill him mean, he takes like 10 pills at a time just to make her leave him alone for a couple hours

during the second half of the game she becomes real in the false realm and you play as her instead of charlotte and. buddy youre not ready for how this game ends lmao

Hello Charlotte: Delirium

cw - light? gore, mentions of torture

this is YET AGAIN ANOTHER TIMELINE, this charlotte doesnt know and doesnt give a shit about having a pupetters, shes anris girlfriend and theyre both fucking deranged and evil theyre so entertaining they find an intruder in the house and immediately black her out and take her to felix and bennett to do whatever the fuck they wanna do

they for some reason end up in a different world called "meat and machinery" world and things ensue its like half an hour and its plenty fun its also rather shitposty like the first game

Hello Charlotte: Heavens Gate

visual novel from charles' pov about him vincent and anri in the true realm :D sometimes it has stuff about the false realm and i recommend playing it after finishing eps 1 and 2 because it has stuff you wont understand and will get spoiled for if you play it early, also the whole game just wont make sense without the context of the true realm from ep3

also vincent starts a cult

IM DONE YIPPEE

i made the great choice of scrolling on pinterest looking for stuff to add to my yttd board and god fucking dammit im so fucking sad (spoilers) but it’s not fair it’s not fair why didn’t they all get to live none of them deserved to die no it’s not fair they all lived happily as best friends after this they didn’t die reject canon embrace denial i want them to live and be happy ITS NOT FAIR

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 9 (part 1)

“ppl & feelings can’t be bound down”~

What an ep for my girl tohru! She completed her growth thanks to kyo’s rejection. really, It was so hard, cruel, understandable but above all so necessary for her to reach a logical realistic conclusion that “I can love/want things from the bottom of my heart, but at the end I can’t force or bound them to me, I won’t regret loving/wanting them, but I’ll move forward regardless, no more standing still”.

-The fear of being alone:

Aren’t we all? We’re scared to face the word after breaking bonds, changing, not getting what we want, having to start over. Such feelings run deeper into us all. Both tohru & akito were scared to face the word without the old comfortable bond that they got used to:

Tohru realized today, that she cant keep talking to a cold photo, can’t live according to her mom’s expectations, to fulfill her mom’s wishes, can’t narrate her daily life to her mom & fill her life with other ppl’s own issues to distract her self from facing her own loneliness & from looking deeper into what should she do with her life. As she fell in love with kyo, tohru started talking to him! forgetting to inform her mom abt her life’s details, thinking abt what will she do “after graduation?”. As kyo asked in se02, ep2. Graduating highschool is ur mom’s wish, What would u wanna do after?” Tohru didnt have a response of “an after”cuz her mom wasnt there to tell her! Tohru has to choose “the after” herself!!!! “The after” was being with kyo & starting life together! figuring what to do next together! She no longer alone! she found her most precious person!

Except: he cant be with her. Again tohru is scared. What to do now! she wanted a bond but is forced to leave it. Loving kyo was stage 1 to be free from her grief. Moving forward without kyo is stage 2 to learn not to repeat the painful journey again! She didnt let go of her mom & kyo easily. It was hard, scary but she must do it. You must respect their wishes & move on. As scared as she is, there will be sadness & happiness ahead.

Akito realized she cant keep an empty box, cant keep fulfilling her dad’s wishes to “be loved & special” cant bound the zodiacs to her for good. They may love her or not, it doesn't matter, if they wish to leave for whatever reason, she cant force them to stay.

Except now that the zodiacs are leaving, what does she have to live for? who will be with her? she isnt good with strangers? she never met anyone who wasnt forced to obey her & be grateful for her. Strangers cant be forced to love her! what will she do now? stretch you hand for a greeting. Tohru told her, make a friend, they might refuse you, but hey might accept u too, I’ll make it easy, Hi, I;m tohru, whats ur name?

The power of true love: ( reality vs fiction)

In fairy tales, the princess fix the prince. the prince save the princess. The prince kiss the princess, she wakes up & they be happy ever after. Except real life has no prince & princess, You cant always be saved, you cant always save others, pure intense true love cant always be the answer!

Yuki was first when tohru needed physical saving. he saved her twice! Yuki’s nickname in school ”the prince”. Yuki is always cool, thoughtful & kind. Yuki always knew what to say & do! he deserves tohru’s romantic love more than kyo, right? But “ppl & feelings can’t be bound down”~ . Yuki didn't feel this way towards tohru, granted no one (excepts kakeru) knows the reason why he loves her fondly (she’s his mom figure). The official” prince isnt the one for her. Real life isn’t a fairy tale. Yuki has someone who sees he isn’t cool, perfect or a prince “ granted no one knows abt machi, yet! ) XD

In tohru monologue: she didnt think abt saving, that's not why she loves kyo. She stated normal, silly, mundane things! a shy smile, awkward kindness & the likes. Stuff ppl love abt each other in real life. You dont say, I love my husband cuz he saved me from a burning building in the 7th floor! lol. But fiction is so full of this. Princes saving princesses.

Tohru didnt fix kyo, too! as much as her love helped him greatly to find hope, the best writing choice is that tohru’s love also brought despair to kyo! To him, she’s the symbol of hope, peace & comfort! she’s also, the symbol of despair, torment & unease! EPIC! The kyo who’s stuck in the past cant be with her, the kyo who will move beyond trauma, abuse & broken soul will be with her. The duality is all on kyo’s shoulder: what will he choose? Can he choose in his state now?

In fairy tales the princess wakes up after the kiss. In real life, we don't. Tohru didn’t. Regardless if she fainted during or after the kiss. The kiss fixed nothing. Kyo’s despair in seeing near-dead tohru in a not-so-subtle mimic to his nightmare, has manifested itself into the sweetest kiss upon seeing her conscious & talking. Kyo isnt good with words, his actions are his words. When he’s scared, sad, in trauma: running away. when he’s  fond of her, grateful for her existence: head knock, head pats, hand holding & a kiss. Still the kiss fixed nothing. Kyo is still traumatized more than ever now. Tohru still feels rejected “even if I’m not with you, plz live”.

Talking fixes everything. It didn’t here, kyo & tohru talked & showed their most vulnerable side to the other, but still didn’t meet half ways, regardless of all the love. That’s cuz they keep missing each other’s best timing. Kyo is stuck in the past while tohru has moved forward. even if in her mind she’s the one who stood & he moved. this shows they aren’t on the same wave yet. Before meeting each other again, kyo must learn from his mistake like tohru did. He must face his ultimate demon: his dad. The one who created the current broken kyo.

Rebelling against parents: ( sign of growth & freedom of choice):

Rebelling against parents  is a sign of a desire to choose one’s path, decide one’s own future. Away to express an oppressed desire.

Yuki rebelled against his mom in se02. he told her I’m not going to the college you chose. I’ll chose my path. I’m not staying away from Ayame. My bro is good in my book. I chose who I want to be with. He told her what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.

Tohru rebelled against her mom today. told her I’m not wasting myself doing only what you I think you’ll approve off. You might bot forhet kyo, thats ur choice, But I DO. I love him even if you might not approve of him, Even if he rejected me, my feelings wont change, but I’ll move forward from the grief & pain. mother. She told her what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.

Kyo WILL rebelled against his disgusting dad. He MUST. It is his turn now. He’ll tell him I’m not wasting myself being locked in a cage. I have a future! I’m not a monster. I am LOVED! I might not 100% sure why I’m loved, but the truth cant be hidden. I have ppl who love me! cheer for me! I want to live! enough of death! mom & kyoko died, tohru nearly did, but I’m not gonna die! I’m not killing ME! I’‘ll do what MOM didnt do! I’ll do what YOU couldn't do! I’ll live! He’ll tell him what he needed, turned his back & moved forward.  I cant wait! I’m in tears just thinking abt it! Kyo was punished enough! time for happiness!

Side Notes:

While I’m impressed with tohru’s growth, as they did her justice in this ep, this doesn’t erase that the buildup for tohru’s own journey & trauma was mediocre. There is a reason ppl commented ” omg tohru, you can love your mom AND kyo!. ” Grief is illogical, long process & it sucks that we weren’t allowed to experience tohru’s grief & her mom’s role in tohru’s abandonment issues. Huge lost opportunity that a good conclusion ep cant erase! but like tohru, I’m moving on ~

The path of growth for kyo will start by rejecting the demon: his dad. No. other. option. Hold abusers accountable for their crimes. Stop their madness. Tell them off.

We know kyo is baka! that’s his trade mark, the endearing baka! a lot of characters in the show think so! I love it, but I’m craving baka-yuki! XD! really, yuki is cool, level-headed & smart, but let him be baka too! this only shows up in tiny microscopic doses, but they’re my fave doses of yuki! it humanizes the “perfect prince”, the “gifted high status rat”! Thus him not seeing kyo running the other side, is my fave look on him! XD.

I appreciate that kyo & yuki put their differences aside when they’re with tohru. You cant tell yuki is hella pissed off with kyo, but he restrained himself. His gaze while full of anger is also full of sympathy as he heard/saw kyo’s panic upon the thought of loosing tohru. He understand they both only mean the best for each other, but also tried they both keep missing each other & not meeting half way! Also, yuki being the only one in the hospital is realistic & endearing. No need for them all to be there & yuki lives with her & is so close to her.

kyo not being the hospital is fantastic! thank you writer-San! why would kyo go to the hospital after thinking his nightmare came true? kyoko /his mom warned him, you’ll hurt another person.. he did.. he didn't cause her fall... but caused her sadness & hurt.

Momiji’s reprimanding gaze is my fave look on him! Also, the best response to what akito did. Akito isnt used to such judgemental gaze. Kureno grabbed her cheeks, gently told her you shouldn't do that, the old maid told her you are right, Dr. Hatori erased her mistakes from ppl heads & bodies, shigure being either cold or kissing her ass, coxing her to yet torment another zodiac in his grand scheme to break the curse as happened in the beach arc.

You bet hana & arisa will be there next ep! Arisa will meet kureno & akito for sure. To path the way for their romance as seen in the ED.

Shigure’s “remorse” is a whole can of worms. Playing with ppl’s hearts & feelings to gain someone’s affection is no laughing matter. Each time blood is shed, he contributed somehow. he didnt force anyone to hurt the other, but he played with matches & never got hurt.

Shigure must be glad akito stabbed kureno. Not cuz he’s sadistic or bad person. He isn’t, but cuz akito stabbing kureno is akito cutting her bond with him. Go shigure, your girl removed her lover with blood. Kureno is punished for sleeping with ur girl by blood! so, when is ur punishment for sleeping with ur lover’s mom? none? ok.

The animation is good. They didnt villinize akito by drawing extra manic features like se02. Kyo’s broken & tormented face once again epicly drawn. However, akito’s slaps on tohru’s face were comedic, unnecessary & such bad taste! Stop using violence for extra drama, furuba!

Also, tohru, I love you, I understand you are broken but charging at a person, who has a history of violence & physical abuse & holding a knife, is stupid. No other description. I’m glad she didnt accidentally kill you in her initial rage.

Everything akito’s redemption, kureno & shigure are part 2 in my review.

[brw]

Thoughts on nadia van dyne?

🥺🥺🥺 she's literally so baby... so small... i know she's supposed to b like. almost an adult but she's just so small. so fucking tiny.

i love her bc. she's like. arguably the most normal of all hank's kids right? like william is half cat half skrull. ultron is a genocidal robot. vision is technically his grandchild and is red and walks through walls and simon who is An Honourary Son™ is an ionic energy form who's passion is acting and has been dead like 5 times or smth. all of his kids are weird and nadia is PROBABLY the most normal in the sense that she is. u know a human being with his dna made in the Traditional Way™. but she's a supergenius who was raised in the same place black widow was who was freed by the Winter Soldier and is a MACHINE at hand 2 hand and follows in the steps of both him and his other ex wife... like 😩 nadia is so weird. this family is so weird. i love them.

i also love how like. while she loves & looks up to her dad she also is still incredibly confident in her own intelligence and is never like "i want to be as smart as dad" because she KNOWS she is. she KNOWS she's smart and yes she does want validation from him as all kids do but she's aware of her own ability and owns it and i love it so much!! and i love how much she likes working w/ like minded people like in that marvel chillers issue when she was working with riri i felt that they were having fun!!! she loves sharing ideas and i love that for her! none of this stupid ego shit dhbdbdbd

also my aroace queen... marvel WHEN will you have her say that on panel i'm waiting!!!! let her be the aroace rep for the ages we need it we deserve it. she should have been in the pride issue again we deserved that. she's such good representation i think i just love that unlike the general stereotype of ace people (idk, think jughead) she never stops being full of sunshine and happiness and is very kind to other people she just. doesn't think abt stuff romantically. and i love that for her!! idk a lot of ace rep tends to be like, antisocial people who don't like being touched ever and that's not a bad thing! people are like that! but idk it's nice to see someone who affectionate and positive also be aroace its rlly good.

mind u i do have problems w/ how her bipolar & neurodivergency was explored in her second mini i kinda went :/ over it but i am glad we have more rep of canonically neurodivergent characters bc. there are. so few <3 i hope it gets explored in the future more!

also fucked up for me specifically that she hasn't actually met hank yet... marvel get him OFF OF ULTRON out of the mindstone WHEREVER HE IS and let him vibe w/ his daughter. i want nadia to go on tiny picnics with her dad and half brother who's half cat and her nephew and. i don't know the gender neutral variant of nephew/neice but vision is there also. just a day out with the kids. if nothing else let nadia and william interact again bc they were so cute in nadia's birthday issue!!! literally the MOST baby 🥺🥺 she could babysit for greer 100%... i want that story...

jdjdhhfhdh shes just. yeah <3 small baby. perfect daughter sized. hope we get 2 see her do more things again, i am still manifesting an "ant-man and the wasps" story fearing jan hank & nadia where its just a slightly awkward joint custody situation and they ofc fight crime together jdndndn. marvel hire me. u could do so much.

ask "thoughts on _____"

[luobingmeis]

I think Undyne's determination has less to do with like something that happened in the past and more like the overlap between determination as an actual physical thing VS a spiritual thing. Whereas the amalgamates were injected with determination by Alphys, Undyne makes her OWN. You've killed her best friend. You're going to kill the love of her life. You're going to kill her mentor. You're going to kill everyone. You've killed HER. But she still has to stop you. Everyone is counting on her 1/2

Undyne's whole motif is letting the monsters of the Underground achieve their hopes and dreams. Theres a reason she is the boss fight in Waterfall, the most backstory rich area in the game. Hope and dreams have just as much weight as determination does, its what helps you defeat Asriel. And Undyne the Undying's design mimics Asriel's because in Genocide SHE is the heroine, SHE is the determined hero that defies death in order to save everyone she loves via the hopes and dreams of everyone (2/2)

Sorry I just really fucking love Undyne Undertale fhfhfndkdk she willingly letting herself be used in an experiment to help her people is Very Good tho too hmmmm

!!!!

sorry ur abt to get a whole essay i love undertale so much.........

(also i use a lot of !!! for emphasis, not bc i’m yelling omg)

(also i’m letting you know this is an incoherent mess, it is 2am here akjsdkjsdjk)

but you can definitely be right!!!! tbh your idea seems much more par for the course than the spaghetti im throwing at the wall

even then, though, it’s stll so interesting bc like!!!! undyne’s courage is undeniable, and her fight to protect the underground plays Such a huge role in her whole waterfall arc. and, in the spiritual sense, she is absolutely determined!! that just makes me WONDER though bc, like, canonically, monsters Are Not determined! they don’t have that threshold!

and then, in looking at determination in the spiritual sense, what exactly makes undyne different? is it that her desire to live and protect the underground unlocks that threshold needed for determination? at one point, could monsters be determined, but then their millennia trapped underground biologically/psychologically stripped them of that? so then could any monster in the underground, when facing high enough stakes, have that determination? or is it just undyne?

bc then i think about the other bosses in either route, like papyrus, mettaton, asgore, sans. where undyne is the monster/boss capable of possessing determination, sans is probably the one least likely to have any threshold for determination (this is bc his entire boss fight is him realizing he can no longer be an observer, he is literally the last line of defense between chara and the annihilation of all monsters). mettaton is complicated bc as a napstablook turned corporeal, i dont even know where to BEGIN with him. but then there’s papyrus and!! it feels like he should be capable of feeling determined. in both the pacifist and genocide route, he is so assured that the human has some internal goodness. while, in the genocide route, that hope could be translated to fear, that still makes me wonder: under what circumstances could a monster’s determination be unlocked? is it not solely life or death? does it require some ulterior motives (aka undyne’s whole character being protecting the underground)? and like!!! it’s just so fun to think about bc, say it is undyne’s spiritual determination being unlocked, it’s so interesting that she’s the one differentiated!! that even papyrus, a character brimming with good and happiness and love, doesn’t have that determination, but undyne, who has a similar type of passion and goodness within her, does!!!

with experiment undyne, i will admit my theory is very much uhh wild! and unhinged! and, while my theory is much more playing in the “what if’s” of the science of artificial determination, it still makes me wonder! especially in the boss fight herself. ever since i first saw her genocide boss fight, i’ve always been a bit fixated on her eye, specifically the one w/ the eye-patch that eventually seems to have Some type of arrow power. while this definitely could have just been A Design Choice (and one i stand by!!), undertale is a game that reveals its complete lore when the pacifist and genocide route are put together. thus, in a hypothetical situation, i don’t think it would be out of the question that undyne’s eye could still Do that even in a pacifist route.

but even then, there are holes to poke! such as why doesn’t she use it? if undyne has been injected with artificial determination, why is she, frankly, normal until it’s a matter of life and death?

(to cut to the punchline before i get into my bullshit: i think it’s bc, at first, it seemed as if the artificial determination just Didn’t Work and had no affect, when in reality it needed to be met with spiritual determination as well)

and, again, i know i’m playing with a lot of hypotheticals right now, and mostly this is me just kinda fun bullshit theorizing, but i think it could have something to do with the fact that she has the threshold for spiritual determination! the reason i even think that she would offer herself up to determination experimentation is bc of the loyalty and love she has for asgore and the underground. i would argue that she is just as invested in asgore’s plan as asgore himself is, and she obviously sees him as some type of father-figure. so that alone gives her this Drive to do whatever it takes for the underground to survive.

so, therefore, i think in regards to this hypothetical experiment undyne, i think it quite literally is that spiritual determination threshold combined with artificial determination

and for that, i quickly want to talk abt the amalgamates and why they tie into this:

the timeline: corpses/souls injected with determination --> no reaction --> corpses wake up and act normal --> ??? happens  --> (quickly leads to) amalgamates

and so then that once again raises the question: what differentiates undyne? 

i think, for that, we then have to consider another question: if most monsters do not have the physical determination to continue living after death, can that determination be given when they’re already dead? monsters in general already have no threshold for determination, so can that be artificially made if it never existed in the first place? 

bc while alphys’s experiment, iirc, was to see what happened when a soul was injected with determination, i think the other much needed question is if monster souls could even Handle determination

and, while we do not know specifically what went wrong with the amalgamates (aka like How did they melt together), we do know that their physical forms really were not able to handle the artificial determination, imo most likely bc they do not even have a threshold for spiritual determination

but undyne is, as you have noted, different!

so, frankly, i think you’re right! i think undyne does have an inherent spiritual determination. it’s uncommon in monsters, but her want to save the world is enough to leave her determined

however, i think That would have just been enough to keep her alive

i think it’s artificial determination that gave her that final form! to reference  back to the amalgamates, they were all creatures whose powers we had seen before, but different now and, specifically, more powerful. that very same thing could be said for undyne! her powers are, essentially, things we have seen before, but fucking to Max Intensity 

AND THEN!! AND THEN!!!!!

when you do kill heroine undyne, she doesn’t turn to dust first

she melts first, and then turns to dust!!!!!

and, honestly, it’s that small detail that sent me down this rabbit hole, bc the only ever time we’ve seen monsters melted together are the amalgamates!

i think the main difference between heroine undyne and the amalgamates is the fact that undyne, at first, had No Reaction to the determination at first bc, since she most likely already had this secret threshold for spiritual determination, it wasn’t the Biggest of changes. it wouldn’t have had such a drastic reaction on her physical form bc, even if she didn’t know it yet, it wasn’t an entirely foreign substance

the amalgamates, however, aka monsters who had no spiritual determination, could only handle the artificial determination for an unknown amount of time before their bodies began rejecting the chemicals and becoming..... that

of course, then, this leaves me with even more questions, such as could undyne sustain this final form? would her body eventually give out, overcome by determination? was this form only meant for life or death situations?

and uhhh i think this is the end!! if you made it this far and are thinking to urself “damn you’re really an english major when you write like this?? this isn’t even comprehensible” do not fret!! i know this theory is kinda a shitshow, and it’s one of those things where i can keep myself up all night thinking abt this and talking myself in circles bc there are some points that i think have strengths and other points that are probably pretty weak

basically though!! i see the connection between artificial determination and undyne through the fact that her form actually changes, the reveal of her legit power eye, the way her attacks have been altered, and the fact that she melts at the end (akin to the amalgamates’ appearances) before poofing into dust

this has been,,,, a shitshow i am so sorry i hope this was at least somewhat understandable ajkdsjkdsjk

[nobody-knose--archive]

(for the cw? crew as we know them so far!) #squad: who's friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like?, (for the standing tally gang (you dont have to do 5 whole songs dhsdfh i just want to hear abt their music taste in conjunction w their styles yknow):) mixtape: 5 songs that describe your OC(s) or songs they themselves would like!

(also unrelated but everytime i go to search your url i type in "nobody" and the first guy to show up is @/andstillnobodylistenstotallyhall and THEN it's you and that feels unfair to me)

cw? up to chapter 2 you say? well.

darius’s been telling amber all it knows about coral (which isn’t a whole lot, but it’s enough to sound meaningful) and that’s led to amber developing a far more human, comfortable friendship with darius compared to a bit of distant reverence for coral. i mean, they’re alien, hundreds of years old, had companions in the past, and they sure don’t act human (or their age). it’s just hard for him to believe they take a lot of stuff seriously- save what he’s seen of their determination to keep their friends safe. maybe he wants to be considered a friend like that. maybe. darius itself is doing its best to be observant of the sort of relationships others are forming with it. coral really wants to take him out and about, show him the world; amber cares greatly about having a friendship that’s normal and honest and true; but jay is harder to read for how they don’t appear to do more than show up when he needs it. beyond the enigmatic behavior and ability to coax a laugh out of him at any time, xe’s for the most part unapologetically helpful and kind. darius has hardly met marcy at all but senses a similar rejection of pretense in eir modus operandi, the main difference being that marcy doesn’t care about forming (new) close relationships at all. that, he can understand. corals a natural leader! has been for all their life! and every single companion they pick up is just another addition to their ensemble, a growing roster of people close to them who’ll eventually end up inspired to strike out on their own and never need them again or get killed. ...at least, that’s how they’re always described. how do they actually feel? they’re cheery. they’re busy. and while they’ll easily enough admit how much better off they are with friends by their side, it takes quite a bit more for them to say how much better off they think their friends are with them. and, if they think the best they can do for their friends is make them better for their own sakes, then maybe that’s alright.

songs songs songs songs. i can either answer this as “what are the characters’ music tastes” or “what songs inspired them” and considering their stands are literally based on songs & not much of my music taste lends itself to character building, i’ll go with the former. the only problem with that is that i am not, in fact, very well educated on what music was hot shit in the year 2006, so yknow. take all this with a grain of salt.

cal. sigh. cal listens to they might be giants. plenty. ween too. if it’s worth anything, it’s also a big fan of old jazz musicians like jimmi hendrix. duncan’s stuck to a lot of the miscellaneous prog rock from when it was young; yes, ritchie blackmore, and fleetwood mac come to mind. ash is the type to subtly judge someone for being a fan of sex pistols. they keep the most current out of everyone, listening to fall out boy & green day & the like. edu was a prince fan! xey would enjoy most psychedelia if xey ever got around to listening to it instead of r.e.m. and billie joel and whatnot 😔. xey also listen to rave/dance music though don’t worry xey’re not hopeless bodur listens to black sabbath. they are also an oasis fan. i cannot elaborate. oh shit i nearly forgot about juno. he was a backstreet boys fan but would never admit it. spends the rest of his time listening to quote un quote “weird shit” like kraftwerk but even more obscure.

[cherrymagik]

How tua tv show ruined hotel oblivion

Before I say anything: THIS IS IN NO WAY AN ATTACK TOWARDS ANYONE YOU ARE 100% FREE TO ENJOY WHATEVER CONTENT YOU WANT THIS IS JUST MY OPINION AND YOU ARE FREE TO DISAGREE (just don’t be an asshole abt and we’re good) also SPOILERS!!! for both tv show and comics

(a while back I saw a post by @fivehargreeves and i have since then been putting off this post bc i want to elaborate on it but i am too lazy and i know i never really post stuff here but this is something i feel really strongly abt especially after that s2 finale)

When I first read the umbrella academy comics one of the things I loved the most about was the world building. It was so crazy and weird (in a good way) and while I still loved the story and characters, for me the most fascinating part of them was the world. It was a world so much like ours, yet completely different and the little details in the background or those offhand mentions of aliens or other "weird" stuff made the tua world feel more alive and interesting. So obviously when n*tflix announced they were adapting the comics into a show i was thrilled. But when I watched it I was... disappointed to say the least :/

Ex. 1 The Umbrella Academy's debut- In the comics, the first time the world met the umbrella academy was when "the day Eiffel Tower went berserk" (literally)

It turns out the Eiffel Tower had been a spaceship all along establishing the first villain in the comics: Zombie Robot Gustave Eiffel. But the innthe tv show we get.... a bank robbery 😐 (not as impressive as the Eiffel Tower imo) THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SUPERHEROES FOR GODS SAKE! Why are they fighting petty crime? Let them fight the Eiffel Tower you cowards!!!

Ex. 2 The Orchestra Verdammten- (@/fivehargreeves post talks specifically abt this issue and summarizes most of my thoughts so i will say very little on this point) In the comics the main antagonist for vol.1 was an orchestra made up of musicians who had gone crazy (for one reason or another) and gone missing after joining the Orchestra Verdammten. But once again the villain is replaced with something very common and might I say mediocre. This as we will see is a running thing in the show: make most of the elements that made the comics stand out and replace them with more common/normal elements.

Ex. 3 Watering down/changing most characters' powers- Would you believe me if I told you it was Klaus that stopped the moon from colliding with earth? No you wouldn’t because in the tv show his powers are so... useless. And he was not the only one who’s powers got watered down (even though he is one of the most notable examples)

Luther/Spaceboy: his powers remain the same (as far as we have seen) however I am detaching points bc i don’t like how his character arc was handled in the show

Diego/The Kraken: first of all WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HES CALLED THE KRAKEN -A MARINE MONSTER- YOU IDIOTS???!!! but seriously, why did they ever think it was a good idea to ever change his powers? It takes away so much from his character! Diego’s power is breathing underwater not whatever object manipulation bullshit they gave him in the show. His powers have NOTHING to do with knife throwing yet he is still as good at it in the comics as in the show; he got that good just from practice. He obsessive with his goals and we don’t get to see that in the show bc they completely changed his powers!!! They just took part of The Séance's and gave them to him! (@/fivehargreeves also has another post on this so go check it out bc it’s better worded than mine)

Allison/The Rumor: Oh my god I could talk about her all day and how dirty they did her in the tv show!!! In the comics Allison has the power to alter REALITY ITSELF

see: (click images to view)

she manifested a whole ass statue to life! And in vol.2 (the Kennedy assassination one) she was the one that killed Kennedy! She made his head explode just by rumoring him. But noooooo they had to sideline her in s2 so they could pursue a side plot for 'wokeness points' (i am happy that they dealt with the racism she would most likely have faced in the 1960's BUT they took away ALL her protagonism in the comics and had her be a minor character) if it hadn’t been for Allison the world would have ended -> murdering Kennedy was the only way to save the world

Klaus/The Séance: ugh where do i start? Klaus is extremely powerful in the comics, like I said he was able to stop the moon from colliding with earth. Not only did they have his powers watered down, they also took away all his telekinetic abilities in the show. Also, the only way his powers can be blocked is when he’s wearing shoes not drugs (i also want to point out that the way his addiction is treated in the show is weird and sometimes even uncomfortable to me but that is another topic for another time). His ability to summon the dead are almost nothing like in the show as compared to the comics he is called The Séance you know but whatever where he not only does he speak TO the dead he can also MANIFEST them through him which was probably the most important factor in stopping Vanya/The White Violin in Apocalypse Suite + not giving him his EXTREMELY WELL DESERVED FAME!!! 😤 THE AUDACITY!!! (I have talked abt Klaus before on another post)

Number Five: I don’t have much to say about him except that he is a lot darker in the comics and not as loving about his family as they make him in the show *cough* shooting vanya in the head *cough* but for the most part.... he’s fine ig (my main problem is they make him idk? too playful(?) in s1 when he actually he is all dry humor and dark jokes)

Ben/The Horror: doesn’t really appear in the comics so nothing to say here

Vanya/The White Violin: not including her transformation in the show was cowardly and having her be manipulated by a man was uh kinda problematic if I may say so. We only ever see her use her powers in vol.1 since she was crippled by getting shot in the head at the end of it and hasn’t been able to do much since then. Her story has been completely changed in the show and i am still not completely sure i like it. Her dealing with trauma and coming to terms with her childhood are quickly brushed away and not really delved into as opposed to the comics where she is still trying to process it

Ex. 4 Technology- The World in the comics is a lot more sci-fi than in the show where it almost an exact copy of ours. For one: the chimpanzees. In the comics Pogo isn’t the only one, we can see a lot of others in the background

Also stuff like the televator or the hotel oblivion are never mentioned or alluded to in the show

Now to get to the main point of this post: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE AT THIS POINT THAT THE TV SHOW WILL BE ABLE TO FOLLOW HOTEL OBLIVION'S PLOT BECAUSE IT DEPENDS ON THERE BEING VILLAINS!!!

This are superhero comics! Maybe we don’t see them fighting all the villains that appear in hotel oblivion, but the fact is that they are there! They are part of the world and part of what makes it breathe and come alive on the pages. To paraphrase (albeit a VERY simplified paraphrase) Watchmen (don’t tell me it didn’t influence tua bc IT DID and i can prove it) 'if there are superheroes then there are villains' especially in a world where superpowers exist and technology is a lot more advanced than in watchmen where they were all normal people (with the exception of dr. manhattan). But by dumbing down the world in the show we are left with a flavorless setting that has no effect whatsoever on the plot (compared to the comics). Maybe some aspects like the Sparrow Academy will be included (I am kinda scared to think where they will go with it) but it won’t be Hotel Oblivion. In s1 I could point out where the comics had influenced the show, hell even in s2 you could see the comic's influence but... Hotel Oblivion? I don’t see any possibility of it getting to tv and that’s the truth

[jenmish-destiel]

Supernatural 15x20.

Hi guyz. I would like to put my point of view of this particular episode in this post, so it can be long, but I request you to read it at least once. 

I was shit scared to see this episode after reading your comments on it. Nevertheless, I had to watch it for ‘closure’ one might say.

Now, this is completely my perspective, and I hope, or rather I will try to convince you abt this.

I actually liked this episode. I am not saying that there were no other better options to end a 15 years running series, trust me, there were, but what I can also see here, is exactly what Dabb wanted to do with this series. 

This series had always been abt they boys, so he had to end it with the boys, i.e. by giving their lives a closure. Of course Cass was there, dont get me wrong, he was/is/will be my fav character, but his storyline also got closure. As well as Jack’s. How? Keep on reading. Lets go character by character-

1] DEAN- ]

- Dean has spent his entire life, fighting for love, his brother, his family, this whole world ( correctly pointed out by Cass). After Cass made him realize this, he accepted his life as a good one, where people loved him, Cass loved him, everyone he loved, loved him back. But Cass’s chapter ended there. 

- Lets talk more abt dean. In this particular episode, we saw him make attempts at living  a regular life, you know, the apple pie life (literally). He was being cute with a dog which was so adorable. Now, even if he wanted to live a normal live, with a family, he knew that sammy would get that, but he woudn’t, cause he had lost Castiel, and no one could replace that spot. 

- In his death scene, he lost hope. And thats why he died. Not only because he was injured. The brothers have faced a lot more severe injuries in the past, so this one was also recoverable. But you know what they say, one can defeat death if one has the will to live. It all comes down to that. He knew that there was nothing left for him to explore. He was never used to a normal life, so he couldn’t survive it on a daily basis. With cass gone, he would be left alone in this world, and he didn’t want to interfere in sammy’s Romantic life either. So he accepted this as his end. 

- When he went to heaven, Bobby told him that Jack and Cass changed it. He was happy once he found out that Cass was alive. P.S. I am sure that they will meet in the future, even if they did not show us that. 

- He finally would be able to stay with his parents. In fact, everyone who he loved and had lost were there. Sammy would come along too. 

[What, dean spent like 5 minutes in heaven, driving, and met Sammy. Like seriously, guyzz, Cass is coming along the way. Heaven is a happy place. He will get his happiness.]

- So overall I think that deans storyline was wrapped up pretty god. He found happiness.    

2] SAM

- So Sam’s storyline is pretty direct I feel. We all know that he always wanted a normal family life, and he got it. A wife,  a kid, a pretty full life. The only element missing was DEAN, which he got eventually. 

- So there, closure for Sammy’s life too.

3] CASTIEL

- Now this is a lot to write about. I thought a lot about Cass’s story. I am truly satisfied with it. 

- He was an angel who had ‘too much heart’, who always wanted to do good for the world, and in doing so, he messed up sometimes, but he never gave up. He always wanted to make heaven and earth a good place. 

- When he died, he actually was happy, and sacrificed himself for the man he loved. His life ended happily. That is important.

- Now taking into notice that according to Bobby’s speech, Jack must have rescued Cass from the empty, because of which, he would actually be able to fullfill his wish, of bringing peace and happiness in heaven and on earth. 

- He will eventually meet dean, I know that. 

- He was happy finally. Doing what he was supposed to do, in heaven. 

[THIS IS IN SHORT, I WANT TO WRITE MORE BUT THIS COVERS MOST OF THE POINTS BRIEFLY] 

4] JACK

- Cass and Kelly believed that Jack was good, and had a greater purpose in his life, and they were right. He spent his entire life thinking what his true role was, and he is playing it perfectly, alongside Cass. 

SO, MORAL OF THE STORY IS IT WAS IMP FOR THE WRITERS TO GIVE A CLOSURE TO EVERY CHARACTER IN THIS SHOW [THESE 4 SPECIFICALLY] AND THEY DID THAT. 

IN THE END EVERYONE GOT THE LIVES THEY ALWAYS WANTED, THEY ACHIEVED HAPPINESS, THEIR PURPOSE ON THE EARTH WAS FULL-FILLED. 

I KNOW, SOME OF YOU MAY NOT AGREE TO THIS, BUT GUYZ THAT WAS OUR AIM RIGHT? NOW WE ALL KNOW FOR SURE, THAT OUR BELOVED CHARACTERS LIVED A HAPPY LIFE AND ARE IN HEAVEN. 

CHEERS TO SUPERNATURAL.

CHEERS TO DEAN, SAM, CASS, JACK AND EVERYONE OF THOSE CHARACTERS WHO WE MADE A PART OF OUR LIVES FOR SO MANY YEARS. 

They are at peace now, and we need to CARRY ON. 

LOVE YOU ALL.         

please reblog.

Thank you for hearing me out.

[tfw-no-tennis]

hhhhhhxh

more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla

so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)

also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????

i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika?????? 

this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude

what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend

oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......

leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo

or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse

GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow

does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic 

ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious

man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid

killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst 

killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey 

I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute

why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this

wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????

leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh

killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid

illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now 

gon: wow killuas family sounds wack...  satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest 

KILLUA ;_; 

this poor baby assassin :( :( :(

IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH

meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD 

like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me 

this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks

i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son

DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole 

all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow

i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....

LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_; 

and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general 

i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently 

of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu 

also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)

ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy

god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face

LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm

illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^( 

KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave

illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique? 

‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now

leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse 

also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js

illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh 

classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!

killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo

and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO

and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss

this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord

god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down 

oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling

AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff

tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad

‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family

of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents 

kurapika should be a lawyer tbh 

leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead 

HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it

pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn

tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion 

gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough

gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.

also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect 

ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo

PREDICTIONS: 

i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao

i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e 

also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao 

i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao 

as for this upcoming arc -  ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially 

im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao

[whetstonefires]

While i was rifling thru your fic tag like a half-starved raccoon in a cake tin I found your clone Damian's fic & i'm in LOVE! And like, do u hav anymore meta on that verse? like how do the rest of the fam find out? how do they REACT?! how does Damian? does the heretic clone still exist? Just reading abt tim with a bunch of tiny dami's gave me heart palpitations. Thank you for this gift.

(In reference to this post.)

Why thank you!

It’s vaguely inspired by some meta @cerusee and @audreycritter did about what if Damian was one of several identical clones, but I’ve been fascinated by the character potential suggested by Damian having been cloned since Talia first revealed it, so.

Let’s see.

I don’t think the Heretic still exists, not in the form we saw. This story fragment sort of assumes Talia went less crazy than they made her for the whole Leviathan storyline; she doesn’t regard the clones as sons the way she does Damian (she totally relied on cloning to get him perfectly matched organ replacements, like that spine) but she’s not “sons are born to die in battle” “let’s grow him big inside a WHALE” levels of whacked out.

She hasn’t fully committed to having them compete to be selected as the official Damian #2, either, because she’s still attached to the original, though the growing prospect of that was a lot of the reason they ran for it. One of them might have wound up as the Heretic, in another timeline? But it was a timeline that diverged long before they fled the League.

So they make it to Tim’s emergency van without being intercepted, and get as far as his secure site on city limits, but they have to fight their way through the last leg of that trip and to make it inside the bunker, and it’s supplied for a siege but not really big enough for eight people, even if seven of them are small, and also staying there and being besieged would draw the attention of the Bats, which defeats the whole purpose of not making for the Cave/calling reinforcements.

So he calls his friends for extraction, and they all wind up in Kansas.

Tim puts off contacting the family until the clones have with his guidance sorted out exactly how they want to present themselves.

Unfortunately, the last stage of the ninja battle was showy enough not to be overlooked, so his absence was noticed much sooner than he expected, and regarded as more worrying. On the second day Dick calls Kon to see if he knows where Tim’s gotten to, and Kon fails to lie adequately.

Dick can’t pressure Kon as easily as he can most people because last time he asked Kon for a favor Kon came to the North Pole and died for him.

Which is the kind of thing even Nightwing isn’t veteran enough not to take seriously.

But he still calls his bluff and asks a bunch of questions, and winds up very suspicious and worried, so at this point Tim and the Damians have to hurry up and figure out how to announce the situation or go on the run from the Bats as well as the League, which would be. Not smart.

Tim explains the situation over videochat with the Cave before having the cloneboys join him on the feed; this spares them the worst of the yelling.

Bruce, Dick, and Damian all respond pretty badly. Bruce because he doesn’t like change and he’s reflexively suspicious, and having eight Damians to raise is a justly horrifying notion. Also anti-clone prejudice. It’s unfortunately an established trait of his, though not like. A strong one.

Dick because he’s really defensive of Damian, and perceives this first and foremost as an emotional threat to his bab’s fragile identity.

Damian because he knows exactly how he was raised to react to someone being in a place he wants, and he knows how many opportunities his father’s household policies gave him to take shots at Tim, and they may be six years old but there are seven of them. He is going to die.

All things considered, Damian’s being the most rational here.

He’s wrong though. The clones were raised as disposable ninjas, not princes; they’re perfectly well aware killing him would gain them nothing, and they have very little sense of entitlement.

Bruce and Dick do try to be nice to the kids once it’s finally settled they will be staying at the Manor at least for a bit, because they need to be somewhere safe and Bruce can’t leave them at Clark’s house forever. Even Ma Kent has her limits.

But Bruce blows bewilderingly hot and cold and Dick kind of makes a point of of not being too warm to them, because he’s loyal to his demon brat. Damian starts staying at his place a lot and consequently working with Nightwing instead of Batman.

Bruce has no idea what to do about this or if he even should do something. Damian’s thirteen, right? Teenagers are supposed to rebel??? This is a pretty harmless way to do that?

But he misses him.

This does lead to making more time for the Seven Identical Six-Year-Olds.

Their sense of morality revolves around having made the breakthrough to valuing on another’s lives; they aren’t as opposed to not-murder as Damian was but they’re also a lot harder to coax into seeing things his way because they don’t need as much from him, emotionally.

This makes them ironically less terrifying for Bruce, even if he’s still having trouble actually bonding with them the way he normally does with his kids.

Barbara meanwhile is cautious. She always takes a while to warm up to new people, and she doesn’t have Tim’s history with clones to get her over that speedbump. She tries very hard to be fair, but she’s not really welcoming. She’s Reserving Judgment.

Jason thinks this is the funniest thing ever and goes out of his way to tease Damian about it. Privately he’s super creeped out, but as that wears off he starts getting mad about Bruce and Dick making the kiddos feel unwelcome and at some point does a rant, and after that is vaguely protective in a useless sort of way.

He enjoys being a bad influence. The septuplets also enjoy this. They think he’s funny, too, and he’s easier to communicate with than most people around here. Achieves a fairly high tier on the Favorite Non-Clone Brother list they aren’t exactly keeping.

Cass is super about these kids. She can relate to them even more than to Damian, because they weren’t raised as heirs to anything and don’t have the sneering put-down form of pride going, and also she’s actually around to meet them at the crucial getting-to-know-you stage.

She thinks sparring one-on-seven is an excellent sibling bonding activity. There are assassin-child puppy piles once they’re all worn out. Many photos are taken.

She’s doing much better than Bruce at getting them to extend their nascent sense of empathy beyond one another, without actually making an effort. It’s not like they’re actually much behind their cohort when it comes to social development, they’ve just got murder conditioning flattening their affective empathy. (And are ahead of cohort intellectually, which contributes a lot to the dissonance.) Cass’ accidental therapy involves butterflies.

Tim continues to be around, a lot more than he has been for a while because he’s kind of obligated to see this through. The septuplets trust him, which is more than they do anybody else for a while, so he winds up with a lot of childcare duties.

Since this amounts to ‘showing them where to find soap’ and ‘being in their vicinity’ rather than i.e. brushing their teeth for them and making sure they don’t steal each others’ snacks, he’s fairly okay with this.

Sizdahum sticks especially close, which is fine because he’s not a big talker; he winds up getting a lot of absent lessons on detective work.

Tim gets yelled at for having murder scene photos open in front of him; both of them and Haftum, who happens to be there at the time, roll their eyes a lot throughout.

Tim’s friends also visit the Manor a few times specifically to visit the kids, since they already met them. At one point the Damian clones, Tim, Kon, Wonder Girl Cassie, and due to rumor mill Anita, Cissie, and Greta all have a picnic in a rare afternoon of sunshine on the Manor grounds.

Alfred packed the picnic so it has ludicrously expensive cheese, a fruit salad featuring freshly pitted cherries, and thermoses of milkshakes in the favorite flavors of everyone who got one, even the ones he’s never met before. In response to this bounty Anita threatens to come to visit every time she can get babysitters for her parents.

Then she considers introducing her parents to the clone kids. They’re turning out almost as weird, even if in theory they don’t remember their previous lives. We’ll see how that turns out.

Bruce got used to how all his sons’ friends know his secret identity over a decade ago, it’s…fine.

Steph thinks they’re creepy but she’s far enough from ground zero to laugh about it, especially about their occasional appearances as Tim’s row of ducklings, and also she trusts Cass’ judgment.

Everyone does, to a certain extent; it helps the septuplets’ cause incredibly over the course of the first few weeks. It wins Alfred off the fence about them after about three days, which is quite a coup; even before that he was fast catching up with Tim in the ‘learning the differences between the septuplets’ sweepstakes.

(Cass is the only one who can even semi-reliably tell them all apart if they’re not wearing their nametags, or catch them switching, but learning things like their individual preferences in weaponry or cake is arguably much more important.)

Speaking of names, it’s a difficult issue. Bruce would (with considerable angst and self-doubt) be willing to name them all if asked, and they’d probably be open to it if he offered, but they’re not quite comfortable naming themselves and he’s too insecure and weirded-out to suggest anything else.

The other members of the family are varying degrees of not okay with the numbering system. Steph’s main issue with it is she has trouble remembering them precisely, because she doesn’t speak Farsi and learning seven unfamiliar similar-sounding words at the same time doesn’t play to her strengths.

Damian has a tendency to call them by their numbers in English, which only some of the clones actually mind but it offends the hell out of Bruce.

The necessity of keeping them secret until they have actual public-ready names and a story has been settled on wears on everyone’s nerves a bit. The issue that there exists no story more believable than the actual extremely weird truth stands in the way.

Barbara actually crafts an entire cover about rescuing the products of an illegal cloning operation by people planning an overly complicated ransom scheme for Damian, and Bruce going ‘well dammit they’re my kids too,’ which doesn’t get deployed for a while because:

1) everyone’s still hunting for something a little less weird and

2) they have to review the entire body of legal precedent relating to clones to make sure this won’t put the kids in jeopardy down the line or undermine Bruce’s chances of getting custody somehow.

Meanwhile, Bruce absolutely forbids the clone squad from getting involved in vigilante fighting. Because they are six. They’re not quite on house arrest but they have strict supervision and a curfew. They mostly accept this; they’re used to discipline and they did come here for refuge.

He tries to take away all their live weapons. Because they are six. This fails to stick. It threatens to become a serious bone of contention.

Cass, Tim, and Damian (somewhat unwillingly) wind up having to broker the issue; explaining to Bruce that the kids think he suspects them of plotting murder, and to the kids that Bruce doesn’t think they can be trusted not to hurt themselves with sharp objects is. Fraught. On all sides.

Why does Bruce never get any kids for whom normal responsible parenting guidelines are fully applicable?

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket SE02 (ep,9). part 1

You know it’s real when kyo is given monologue right from the beginning! It rarely happens that he’s allowed any!, but when he does, it hits like a wild wave changing everything. The story is never the same after each time he’s given inner-talk. Forever changing the dynamics, the secrets & the relationships. e.g. true form ep.

Kyo’s love confession:

The sweetest, most tender love confession from the character that started the show fighting & screaming! The one that hated himself the most! now loves his name, only cuz she said it! “a special ring to it”. the guy who couldn’t look at her face, will repeat stupid things over “if it made you smile”. “Since when did I started” falling in love with you? the show goes on to show us various moment from as early as ep,4 & throughout seasons & scenes! he doesn’t know! We, the viewers, also don’t know when he started loving her!! we kinda gradually~ normally~ unknowingly~ fell in love with them together. The show opened this heavy ep filled with first-hand experience & steps on how Akito destroyed his victim... ouch! well-played, furuba! well-played.

The location: An empty room, no furniture, small, suffocating. The abuser sits far, then slowly walks towards the prey until there’s no space. But not before causing  physical pain to reassure dominance over the victim.

STEP 1: (The BET).

Kyo in his attempts to fight his destiny has met up with Akito prior to the beginning of the story, to defy him. Akito cleverly traps kyo into a bet manipulating his desire to break away from his fate. you said, YOU can fight your destiny? ok. I’ll let you. If you win against yuki, I’ll let you be free. easy, right? kyo this is your chance to prove yourself to yourself! just practice & win a stupid match. EASY! except it isn’t. The rat is superior to the cat. Your trials are in vain. you’ll NEVER rise up to anything except a failure. Try for three years! so generous of Akito! 36 months! you only need to win once! But you WON’T EVER! planting a toxic seed that eats away the victim’s self-esteem, hope & desire. Give him the chance to believe in himself then CRUSH IT. Once kyo fails, he’ll never believe in himself again. The bet is now cancelled before the third year even begins! one year & a half of failure is enough. You LOST. The Directing was phenomenal! The scene is shot in shades of sickening green, with underwater feel, like kyo is drowning deep in Akito’s abuse. Akito was shown from kyo’s perspective. Distorted, scary & demonic. like a monster..

STEP 2: (the past)

Taunting kyo with selective words that hit exactly were it hurts the most, using affirmative sentences in calm authoritative tone, alluding to facts.“cuz you’re a monster, ur mom is dead” “it was ur fault” “u killed ur mom”. Akito painted kyo’s mom in martyr light. giving birth to a monster, admirably protecting & raising him. Her reward? DEATH due to immense pressure from being WITH him. Extra step: painting kyo as the unforgivable & unappreciative son “ her son didn’t even mourn her” cuz kyo didn’t cry in front of others in her funeral. all these words carved his psyche like daggers extracting buried memories of his dad doing like Akito. YOU caused ur mom grief. the memory is now crystal clear. His mom walking slowly with open arms towards death. Giving kyo her back knowing he’s there. choosing to abandon & leave him. cuz it is HIM that is too much to bear. it is HIM that she’s escaping from.

STEP 3: (the present)

“you should’ve died”, “if you didn’t exist EVERYONE would be happy” This everyone in particular destroyed kyo way more than Akito ever planned for. Everyone includes the present. Everyone includes ppl who aren’t sohma-related. Everyone includes a happy mother & daughter. Everyone includes kyoko & tohru. It is NOW that kyo crashes, falls, loses & bends. Kyoko is the nail in his coffin. Akito lets go of kyo’s hand. Mission accomplished.

-Miscalculation in Akito’s plan: (tohru)

Akito unwittingly ruins her plan by mentioning tohru. her triumphant smile disappears & her authoritative powerful voice turns into childish screams to silence kyo, pathetically covering her ears. This drastic shift in power resulted only by mentioning tohru. Realizing that tohru was used as tool for whatever reason gave kyo strength to stand up & defend her. how dare you call her a monster? how dare you call her an angel? NO. she is but a human. A kind soul. That stayed WITH me regardless of all my ugliness inside & outside. WHY? who does that? Who gives & never takes? the foolish traveler.

The foolish traveler’s role in liberating & confiding kyo:

In momiji’s story, the foolish traveler gives the monster her life & dies. Tohru gave kyo her presence. She did NOT heal him or fade the ugliness away. NO. She didn’t treat his trauma. NO. she doesn’t even know abt his mom’s suicide!! she ONLY gave him her presence. She stayed with the monster. WHY? cuz she is a foolish person filled with kindness not wanting anything in return. But what happened to the the foolish traveler at the end of momiji’s story? she died. again DEATH surrounds kyo. If this foolish traveler stays with him death awaits her. History has proven kyo’s company lethal. the cat has cursed his most beloved ppl into death & harm. his dad, mom, kyoko. This story made kyo realize his romantic love to tohru & tragically made him understand the possible sad ending.

Akito’s Rebound:

Akito sizes the chance, strikes back & regains power. Like a hungry monster smelling fear! “ do u think u have the right to fall in love with someone?” “do u think you’re allowed?” Kyoko, reinforcing Akito’s words.”I won’t forgive you”. you, the monster knows love?? “who’s the real villain” you, the killer! “who’s the one who involved her the most” You, the most cursed! “it’s best if you are gone”.” I KNOW!” ,kyo said.

The fighter gives up:

“it was me”. every negative thought kyo has is reinforced by a past experience from someone in his life. Akito blackmails kyo into accepting his confinement in exchange of NOT harming tohru. It is becuz kyo finally loved someone enough to want to EXIST in this word that he finally stops fighting. He fought for years for himself. Now, he’ll give up for another person. Tohru’s love liberated him from hating himself enough to die or take his hatred on someone else, but, her love also imprisoned him into thinking he’ll never be worthy for her. His first thought upon seeing her is “ I want to be with u forever” but once again “ kyoko shows up reminding him” i wont forgive you” How can kyo wish to be with her? his entire trauma is against it. does he has the guts to rip tohru’s smile once he confess abt the past? What does he expect tohru to say once she knows? How would tohru react? he’ll scar her forever more than she’s already scarred. Those scars that she hides oh so well from others will become tragically apparent once he confess. So, No, kyo. Spare her the pain. who are you anyway? a mere monster that everyone will be happy if you disappeared” “why didn’t my mom kill me?” “she should’ve killed me” If she did.. then tohru would’ve been happy with her mom. “Why am I still alive?”

Kyo’s precious flower:

love is against logic. Logic says stay away from tohru & spare her ur unworthy existence. Love says look for her! love makes you run to her! love makes you want to see her first thing after getting out of the that room. love says cherish her, be around, stay with her. Love says she needs you! yes, the unworthy monster has been loved before! way before tohru!. Kazuma flashes in his mind & brings hope, Kyoko, flashes with a kind smile, teasing him, I see different hair styles, maybe repeatedly meeting kyo, love reminded kyo of the friend-kyoko! who recognized his loneliness, patted his head, reached out to him, she told him abt the tiny flower, showed him her most precious treasure. These ppl treated him as a human! NOT a monster, kazuma, kyoko & tohru, love opened his eyes to see the light amidst the darkness, the warmth of the sunset after the depth of suffocation. He won’t give up on life. NO, he wants to LIVE, to LOVE & to give back! he now knows that his existence isn’t completely worthless! he was there for tohru. he has already given her back time after time since they’ve met, he knows that! he made her smile, he saw her! the real her! tiny, foolish & oh so precious!  By the time he reached her he was able to genuinely smile from his heart! yes, he can smile cuz she’s with him now. He doesn’t care anymore abt the disgusting sohma & their curse. He only cares abt her. he won’t trample his precious flower, “ i once hoped to be always together, far away” to “ make you my own” But NO. he can’t hurt her with the painful memories, he’ll treat her with utmost respect, care & love until its time to say goodbye. quietly exiting from her life. As long as she’s not harmed. As long as her smile stays, so, he’ll stay with her together,” until we’re separated far apart”

[luobingmeis]

Pls give us the AtLA rant, I have a mighty need!

askjskjsdkjdskj i copy and pasted my rant from last night bc imo the raw energy of “i am genuinely shocked and angry (in a good way)” is something i cannot recreate right now

so here is the rant i went on in my groupchat + the secret side conversation i had in DMs bc, in my 3 person gc, 2 of us are watching it for the first time and i already knew some stuff going in so i didn’t want to spoil

it’s all under the cut bc it’s long as fuck (like almost 2k words if not more) 

but basically i go into my own type of avatar-state while talking abt zuko!!!!

(I HAVEN’T STARTED BOOK 3 YET, PLEASE NO SPOILERS)

groupchat:

but i just finished book 2 and it took a completely different turn from what i thought it was going to like i am actually in shock and have officially reached my point of "zuko what the actual fuck" because the choice to do good was right there after everything he and iroh went through and after all that he saw and letting aang go multiple times and he was starting to be happy in this new life and saw that he and iroh could be free and he still went back to azula for his pride and honor, turning against aang and katara after he and katara could have finally reached a moment of understanding

but like what the fuck i am more mad at s2 zuko than i was at s1 zuko bc, in season 1, the avatar and his honor was the only thing he thought about, but in s2, he met people who had their lives ruined by the fire nation!! and he worked with them!!!! iroh was showing him what it was like to live completely free, doing what he wants!!!! and he was starting to understand!!!!! but im so pissed and so fucking shocked bc, this entire fucking time, i was like "oh yeah the end of s2 is going to be when zuko joins, right? bc i mean book 3 is fire, so zuko has to teach him fire bending" but no, he willingly chose to keep pursuing the avatar after fucking everything he has seen, after knowing how people were affected by the fire nation, after everything iroh did for him

and he knows what he did!! he knows!!!!! he told azula that he betrayed iroh!!!!!!! he fucking knows

when iroh showed up to fight both him and azula, i was fucking losing it bc iroh's love has been so unconditional for zuko, he supported zuko through everything and even helped him try to capture the avatar at times, but that was the final straw

zuko willingly walked into world domination. he doesn't even fucking trust azula! he never has! but she brought up his pride and honor, and she's powerful as all hell, and he sided with her! after everything!

i really thought he was learning that his quest for the avatar was fruitless! it's not going to bring him happiness! his life in the fire nation will never return to normal

aang has saved his life so many god damn times, him and katara were reaching a point of understanding! they fucking talked about how the fire nation took both of their mothers

and i'm so floored bc this was all willing

when zuko was exiled, he had no choice! it was either find the avatar or have no home. but he was finding a home! he finally seemed so happy with iroh! it really seemed like iroh's teachings were getting through to him! that he was learning what he really wanted (freedom)! but he still went back to the fire nation except this time he chose to. he looked at the people he was starting to understand, at the man who has been a better father than ozai ever could, and willingly chose to turn away for the sake of pillaging and conquering and "honor" in a family that doesn't care about him

at first, i was like "this has to be a trick, right? he's fighting them now so that he can backstab azula later, right?"

but when katara said to him "i thought you changed!" and he said "i have" i was fucking besides myself

im so angry but im also fucking exhilirated bc this i did not expect

i would've put so much money on there being a meaningful moment of zuko stepping up alongside aang

like, i was so sure this would happen

i was convinced

but holy shit

and fucking!!! zuko knows what iroh went through at ba sing se with the loss of his son (and probably the realization that what the fire nation was doing was fucked up) and zuko still turned against iroh

after everything iroh did for him! iroh was the only person who stood by zuko's side during everything. he pleaded zuko's case over and over, he seeked out the gaang bc he needed their help and he was so sure that zuko would make the right decision!!! he saw zuko let the avatar go before, but when zuko was faced w/ azula's assistance and the avatar right there, he just went back to his old ways except worse bc this is willing

and like

am i discounting the manipulations of azula and ozai? no!!!

that definitely had a hand in it, bc azula has been dangling honor and ozai's love in front of zuko the entire time

but i really thought that the end of s2 would be when zuko sees past all of that

except he turned back to the family that doesn't even love him, betraying the only person who truly cared for him and loved him unconditionally and wanted the best for him, and now he has a direct hand in the collapse of ba sing se and world domination

like okay let it be known that this is some of the best writing ive seen and im fucking obsessed and im living for this and it's so fucking good so my anger is fueled by excitement and shock

and also i fucking love negative character development

like. i love zuko. and literally i think that's part of this too bc i was so sure that he was going to make the right decision

and instead i had to face the dawning realization that he wasn't

and now he and azula are teaming up to end the earth kingdom

like i thought i knew where this was gonna go and now i'm genuinely lost (in a good way)

and like i haven't even touched upon aang's chakra being locked bc he went back to katara

(also don't even get me started on the painful irony of iroh telling aang that sometimes it's better to choose love and friendship over power)

(like really don't get me started because i'm about to combust)

after everything iroh did for zuko!!!

after the gaang has saved his life!!!!!!!

and the best thing is, it was shocking but still not out of character

that's the beautiful thing

this was always an option for zuko

it's the point of the crossroads!!! you can go either way!!!!!!!

i just thought he was gonna go...................... the other way

and like literally the fact that he sided with azula after obviously not liking her basically his entire life (or at least his adolescence) is so fucking telling for how he made this decision bc. unless there's some behind the scenes stuff, he saw the avatar and his pride and his honor so clearly, and he saw how powerful azula was becoming, and decided that he would still take it even in the face of azula's manipulations and violence

if that makes sense

if you can't tell, i'm kinda reeling right now

like, apparently zuko wants his honor/power so badly that he'll side with azula!!!

after they spent an entire season fighting her

but also....... azula finally gave him that option of working together. before, it was always azula vs. zuko

now, though, azula was offering a world dominating olive branch

so now like im thinking....... what if that happened earlier? would zuko always have turned? or is it just because everything he ever wanted was so close to him?

and it's wonderful bc it's still so in-character. like, even siding with azula, it's not bc he suddenly cares for his sister or whatever, but it's because he chose honor/pride/the fire nation over freedom/giving up what he always wanted. i don't think he was choosing azula, he was choosing his pre-written destiny over making his own

god is any of this making sense i am literally so fucking shocked

i literally need like 3 episodes solely on iroh at this point bc you know what probably fucking sucks??? losing his first son to the war in ba sing se, and then losing his nephew (who he saw as another son) to starting war in ba sing se

like? that has to feel like a fucking slap in the face ten times over

especially bc iroh left the fire nation with zuko (and probably for zuko), most likely giving up his full title there

and like? the fighting sequences are so cool but it was so fucking heartbreaking to hear iroh tell aang "you go on ahead! i will hold off both of them!" because like. iroh can't wait any longer! he thinks (and knows) that zuko is making the wrong choice, but he can't wait any longer! he can't stand by while zuko dominates an entire city and say "oh, he's really complicated, he's going through something"! because zuko did go through it and he came out of it and he still made that choice! iroh probably feels like all his patience, all his efforts, all his teachings and love, went to fucking waste! because it didn't get him anywhere!

like, iroh probably still loves zuko but he probably feels so fucking betrayed and hurt and disappointed because, after seeing zuko let the avatar go before and seeming so happy, he probably thought that zuko was changing for the better! and now, he has to fight his niece AND his nephew! this no longer is zuko insulting some other general or his crew that iroh can fix by explaining what happened w/ ozai and how zuko is very conflicted! this is a situation that zuko willingly walked in, even after hearing and knowing all of iroh's teachings!

anyways! poetic cinema

like also pls dont think im ignoring everything else in the episode, like aang's chakra being locked was fucking wild and that entire episode was so good, with the fight sequences and everything abt azula, and toph’s metal bending, just forgive me bc im a little uhhhhh distracted by a twist that i genuinely did not expect

i feel bad for how focused i am right now on zuko but also how can i not be bc that feels so connected to literally everything else

also tho on a brighter note, true serotonin was when appa finally returned :')

it's so wonderful that appa broke out by himself. he did it all on his own! no one else was there. at all :)

(im kidding that was actually a very important moment in zuko's character)

(or at least i thought it was going to be)

(well actually it still is, but it's come to the question of "you can always say what you're going to do in a situation, but what happens when you're actually faced with it?”)

DMs:

i know that zuko gets redeemed, right? like i know, in the end, they will all team up

but the fact that it didn't happen now

holy shit

like.......... a whiiiiiiile ago on tumblr, i saw a post that was like "zuko has a great redemption but he needed to work for it bc he did awful things" and like? tbh yeah i got that s1 zuko was the antag and he did shitty things but like...................... this feels so much more poignant

like zuko literally has a direct hand now in the collapse of the earth kingdom

literally not to be dramatic but this is like. taz-reveal levels of shocked right now.

i thought i knew the zuko arc

bc i know he gets redeemed!!

so, after watching this season, i was thinking "oh okay it's gonna be this season! makes sense!"

but.... deep down

deep down..............

a part of me was kinda like "so is season 1 zuko....... it? is that the end of his antagonisms? is season 2 meant to be his redemption? i dig it, but i thought it would be more...................... dramatic"

well!

got what i wished for!

and i am in the best kinds of hell

like i almost feel bad bc so much other stuff happened in the finale (like, for example, aang's chakra being locked, which i screamed at, it was so good) but like. i genuinely did not expect this.

like. holy fuck.

like, now i really understand why people say that zuko needed to really work for his redemption bc he and azula are tag teaming the end of the earth kingdom