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#I am sick from my own words
thebluespacecow · 4 months
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HII!!! HELLO!!! how are you babe? Sending you the ask and returning the favor! please infodump on me 💪💪💪
I've listed some specific ocs but honestly you can tell me everything about everyone and I'll listen happily 
1 to Kai and Rae? 3 and 4 for Lauma and Nora? Ah! 10 for Kai! 17 and 18 for Eliza 😏 21 for Greg. 22 for Eliza and Nickole. 26 and 27 for Lauma again. Ah! 28 for Kai! 30 for Kai and Rae? Mmm and 34 and 35 for Pandora >:] 
Many thanks, beloved mutual 
Hii??? Hello? What are you doing in my house. I've never thought about any of this, actualy.
Lets...do improv then? Bonkers. o7
1. are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most? (Kai and Rea)
Huh. Honest to god i'd have an answer for any other but these two. Both of them are shades of blue (diffrent kinds, Kai is so much more electrifying and Rea is more desaturated and warm for their species), as per their skin, but whenever i draw them i have to fight the urge to dress them in yellow.
So.
Rea is a honey mellon yellow, leaning into green like leaves in the coming of fall.
Kai is ether a cool (both terms apply) black or the same glow in the dark yellow as her eyes?
3. weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon? (Lauma Skujiņa, Nora Odera)
Lauma has her fists and a trust in her bones not to break and nothing else. (Her quirk, it's her quirk, she's shattering walls with it)
Nora? Nora Odera? Sickly insane lady? Babes, she takes a needle to her skin and carves at her own flesh. The only thing she's fighting is time. (Although you can argue that it's stuburnence)
4. how crafty/resourceful are they? (Lauma Skujiņa, Nora Odera)
For Lauma there is always some way to get out of a sittuation. Be it handeling awkward silence over coffee and cakes with people she dosn't realy know, or having to ease the quiet sobs of a child lerning to fear death while the weight of a building is on her sholders. She's lerned to go through most things with an ease and grace sometimes simply lerned in the moment.
Nora is...she's messy. Right below her surfice she is messy and volatile and so, so deeply tierd. Though, if you can give her enough time then anything can be taken care of. If she can be given the chance to stress over her short future to sickening detail, then she can give quick resolutions to issues after long thought.
10. if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem? (Kai)
Oh, big, big fan of jewlery. One of the few little things they're openly an enjoyer of. Got their ears pearced at the same time as the rest of the littles from their home, but unlike the rest, they continued getting little, cool metals for their ears. All hand made. By themselves or their sister or heirlooms from people before them. A good gift for them are rings that curl around the finger, which are, sure, not Practical (hard metals on your flesh in permanently cold places are an insane thought) but why else do you think teenagers stuff their full fists in their pockets?
17. how did they spend their summers/free time as a child? (Eliza Martins...oh boy :|)
Like a duckling she'd follow around Dick when both of them are home for summer. Cry when Bruce sudgested she go to some rich kid summer camps to skatch and paint and draw in pretty places with other kids. Things like that would never pan out. If obe of them had a specific camp they would genuenly enjoy (all of which Bruce did extensive reserch for), then both of them had to go. And if not tailing Dickie? She'd pick weeds and water gardens with Alfred, lern the little things only people with decades of expiriance can show.
18. their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing? (Eliza Martins)
Mmmmm....hmmmm....
Well.
Okay, this is something that has been bouncing around the back of my brain for however long i've had Eliza. So. So like. She had the same morals instiled as every bat. Of course she had. But, sadly, her morals do not matter in any of this. Never had. She functions on rules set for her by a being far older than time. She will do as things must be done and if she feels guilt or remorse-does not matter. This isn't an always thing. She is also put in situations where her best answer is the only one she's given, so it's not all always violence and murder from the get go. It's just that she wouldn't have a say in it if it was.
21. their favorite place to be? (Gred James)
Hm. His living room. Preferibly by himself. Preferibly with a warm tea and phisicaly heavy food. Preferibly in silence.
22. do they sleep well at night? (Nickole Moor, Eliza Martins<3)
Eliza is hit with the smell of home and a soft pillow and is out like a fucking light. No dreams, little nightmares. And if there are? Far too vivid to not be hounting in a way that only drains her more than she rests.
Nickole sleeps at odd hours. She has a genuen job, works actual hours (sure, she's in charge of them, but motherfucker needs shit to do to not go insane), so she should sleep more than she does. But there is always something to do. She likes doing things, she has passion for her craft, she knows that her cervices are needed for many in ways she may not even fuly know. So she works, late into the night. But her actual sleep? Bristles at any little sound and has nighmares and will call Jason at fucked hours if need be.
26. how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids? (Lauma Skujiņa)
Lauma has truly buil herself for fighting. She is tall and she is lean. Controled hands and steady feet, so much of how she moves is so terribly aware. Things like that have been dictated by her quirk, things like that have been formed because of how her skin tugs at scars of past mistakes as she moves. Quiet reminders as to why she is like this now.
27. if applicable, do they have a favorite sport? do they play any sports or prefer to watch? (Lauma Skujiņa)
Too tall for football, too dissinterested in basketball. 👍
28. how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone? (Kai)
With tough love. They bully their friends into taking care of themseles, drag them to bed, keep them under Kais body weight so they don't leave. They curl their tail around loved ones when something feels off, or when they've fallen asleep on their sholder. All little things, soft and small toutches full of radiating warmth, or tenderly hand crafted jewlery. Stuff as such.
30. do they smell like anything notable? (Kai and Rea)
I so, so genuenly do not know. Think of snowey hills and warm cotton socks, and the sent cats leave on beds. Maybe you'll get there.
34. how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are. (Pandora)
She lies. Every new name a new story to weave. So little of who she is will ever be tangable in the words she's been using to tell about herself to whoever. A diffrent person gets a diffrent lie. All of them running so deep and so old that they may as well have shaped history.
35. do they ever return home? (Pandora)
It's no longer there. It never again will be.
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intern-seraph · 1 year
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#seraph speaks#k word use#everything going on rn is just. awful. my dash makes me sick to my stomach on a regular basis.#but i feel such immense shame at the very idea of blocking The Words even if it's for my own well-being#because then i'll be One Of The Bad Jews or whatever#honestly this site feels really really hostile again#it hasn't felt that way since i was sent graphic gore and death threats during one of the nazi raids years and years ago#and the worst part is that this unsafe feeling is coming from ppl who i generally quite like and even trust.#to make it even worse i KNOW ppl will deride and mock me for the very fact that i (a filthy fucking jew) feel terrified and unsafe rn#because ~i'm not the one being actively bombed right now~#i've already seen it happening.#and i just. am so tired.#as if this is a fucking competition? obvs i'm not saying i have it worse than palestinians#but honestly if you have the time to mock jews for being afraid rn#bc antisemitism ALWAYS spikes when israel's in the news for crimes (bc gentiles think all of world jewry is responsible for those crimes)#it's already been bad. it's going to get worse.#and if you come into my asks or my replies or w/e about this and get combative#genuinely just call me a fucking kike so i can block you#i just assume that if you have the time to bitch at random jews for the gall to be afraid rn that you aren't someone currently in a warzone#i feel like they have more important things to worry about than harassing jews on tumblr dot com.#anyways sorry for the [gestures] this#im not going to say anything else. will likely block certain words eventually as well. i'm just so exhausted and upset.#it's been all i can think abt.
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bluepallilworld · 1 year
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each time I make a post about a fic of mine, I wished I had a gif to add
like it was a known media and you could just find it in the gifs
nothing to do with it being famous (very much not my goal XD)
just
I like gifs
I like lil' moving characters
#delete later#one day I'll have to make one I guess#it's not like it would appear on its own#girl it's your blorbos from your mind obviously you have to do it yourself XD#also I have such a facination for animatics#those blorbos are moving! they're alive!!!#I can't believe I was a bit weirded out by the word ''blorbo'' at first and now I'm just using it in my head too#if you don't like reading my random thoughts you can block ''delete later'' I usually use that hashtag#I always have that hope I'm gonna come back to delete it later...#why am I writing like I do when I'm starting to get sleep deprieved drunk it's not even 11pm yet#I still have my grammar tho#mmmmmmmm#it's now been more than a week that I'm sick I reaaaally hope I will soon stop trying to cough out my pulmons#*she said right before starting to cough for the n times today*#do you know the limit for tags is 30?#I am midway#it's generaly not a problem#unless I'm reblogging miss yuyu's art#she has thoughts and I wanna answer with my own#because they're shaped#one of these sentences I have no idea how I'd explain the meaning to one of my IRL friends#and there is a limit for how long a tag can be too! you can't write a whole story in one single tag and that's very sad don't you think? Ho#140 characters#when I said that ''they're shaped'' I was talking Yuri's thoughts not mine#I like my friend#and it makes me so happy to see her having fun with her askers#should I really be gushing about her like that here in a random post's tags? Maybe not#I don't think she'd see that anyway so I'm all good#how many tags have I left?#oh that's the last one better make it count right? If you read this I'm sending you (yes you!)
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ovipositer · 2 years
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never ask a man his salary a woman her age or a discord mod what age he and his girlfriend were when they first started “talking”
#every once in a while it occurs to me out of the blue#that he probably feels so full of himself#since I just didn’t respond to his harassment#and I abandoned this blog#he loves having the last word#he thinks he ruined my life and that I’m miserable and alone now#and it makes me feel guilty that I didn’t lay into him more#I do plan to vent my frustrations at some point#but I will do it in my leisure in my own time#I’m not an ugly jobless discord mod who makes my full-time working gf clean up five cats’ litter boxes and fix my food for me etc etc ^_^#I guess I don’t have as much time as you do to dedicate to bothering others! ^_^#not that posting on my own personal blog— that quite frankly you wouldn’t be reading if you weren’t obsessed w me— is bothering anyone! ^_^#also I am not in the habit of bickering with every single person I ever meet#I prefer to focus my attention on the people and things that give me joy#if there’s anything I’ve learned from this it’s to yeet toxic people out of my life immediately. no second chances. I have no regrets.#my standards actually were never too high. plenty of ppl can meet them. I’m not the only person like me in the world. go figure.#it’s actually not normal to be as sick and incapable of getting along w others as you and the rest of your ‘community’#still. I would like to speak on what happened because I regret that I held my tongue for those two years.#I don’t think it’s healthy to bottle up all of your negativity.#but I’ve realized now it may literally be years before I will have half the mind to think back on that time in my life and talk abt it#so Idk. I just wanted to say.#I genuinely hope he kills himself#I do not say that lightly#I am not someone who throws that phrase around like it’s nothing.#I genuinely mean it with every inch of my heart. he deserves to die horribly.#I just find solace in the fact that he is so miserable. not because he wants for anything material.#he is spoiled and lazy. but still he does not enjoy his life. how could he? all he does is badger ppl online all day.#it just blows my mind that someone that looks like THAT wld talk to me that way 🤣 you’d think being the ultimate loser wld humble him a bit#just wanted 2 get that out of the way#oviposting
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alphalesbian · 1 year
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#its like every now and again i am brought down by a terrible loneliness and am forced to remind myself i have in fact more or less#been alone in some sense of the word for more than a few years now theres been such incredible lengths of my lived adulthood where ive#been to deal with everything on my plate entirely by myself for the most part. not to say that i have been like Alone ive kept busy and all#but sometimes i have to remind myself its been years and years since ive had what i would call even some kind of community. and its a#necessary pain to reflect that That is probably why routinely i am completely leveled by some loneliness. this goes of course without sayin#a lot of this is circumstance why i would maybe end up so alone but the reality is im often the only one who gets me im often the only ear#can open up to im often the only one there to catch myself slipping the only one there to take care of myself when im hurting or sick or#tired. and its not that i dont ask for help. something something circumstance where i dont get it from other people#hardly a thing worth stopping myself over but the moments where i have to pick myself up by my own bootstraps for the nth time completely i#the dark by myself its hard not to feel small. looked past. even though im really doing quite okay all things considered. still quite#unfortunately alone and equally isolated and drained of any energy to change this or get out and find community (if i had the space and#the time and the money of course dont forget about the money)#and at the deepest reaches of this feeling i can only see cosmically that this is what im supposed to be doing. to some strange effect that#I Am at least on the right path as tucked away small and hidden and invisible as this may make me feel. bc its never a hard contrast to mak#that if i did have the ability to truly embrace and make a change in that regard would i? would i do it right? could i keep it? where would#that take me? and of course the answer is in this state id just fumble it. and be right back here#when do i get to have that fire in my hands unequivocally where i may finally furiously rid myself of this isolation this loneliness either#forever or long enough to make the change from this lack of connection and community i truly have?
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batemanofficial · 1 year
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i need weed. i need a medical card so bad or im gonna go out of my fuckign GOURD
#speak friend and enter#let me preface this by saying that im doing everything in my power to not let mental illness wipe its greasy hands on me#however. im insane in the membrane and i can feel myself slipping back into lunatic mode#i have to go for an mri next week and i genuinely don't know if i can do it. i am so fucking terrified you have no idea#i'll spare y'all the grisly details but i was chronically ill as a kid (and not just like sick a lot it was touch and go there for a bit)#and as a result of certain procedures i had to undergo to abate the aforementioned chronic illness#i developed ptsd that manifests as an irrational but obscenely debilitating fear of hospitals#like i can't go in a hospital without having a psychotic episode. like clinically i just can't do it#but as part of my yearly post-whatever care i have to get imaging done and this year that entails an mri and. im just scared#i spent a significant portion of my time immediately post ptsd symptom presentation believing that my doctors were trying to kill me#like for sport. like i thought there was some larger deep state esque plan in place to enact further medical barbarism upon me for giggles#and obviously you and i both know that's a delusion with no basis in reality but that doesn't mean i can stop myself from believing it.#it's like a word-of-god thing. i know logically that it's not true but there's a voice in my head screaming 'they want to flay you alive'#and i am currently between therapists and also unmedicated bc my last therapist was too focused on inner child work#to give me the prozac and weed card i really need#like that's great that you think healing my inner child will solve this but my inner child is covered in her own viscera. can we pivot mayb#but anyway for the moment im just wallowing in my own fear and im doubly scared bc im finding myself falling into rabbit holes again#like empirically the worst thing that's gonna happen as a result of this mri is that they're gonna say i have to have another surgery#and the technology has advanced to a point where its way less invasive than what ive had previously#but the constant dull roar of my thoughts about the whole deal is just. increasingly delusional nonsense#and not to be overly morbid or anything but i decided a long time ago that if i ever had to be admitted to the hospital again i would rathe#well you know. and i don't wanna die. honestly i don't. but the idea of wading through that particular brand of hell again is torture#and im not gonna kill myself. im not. ive been working on that impulse for a long time and i don't want to undo all of that work#but im scared and i dont wanna spend the rest of my life in n out of the hospital or as a substance-abusing recluse. is that so much to ask#i want to fix this. i do. i don't wanna live in a hole anymore as fantastic mr fox would say. but the horrors persist#and i often find myself increasingly unable to cope. hence why i need the weed#anyway i'll be fine. eventually. i hope. but in the meantime i do want to say i appreciate you all. i mean it#i tend to regard myself (fairly or otherwise) as difficult to get along with in real life so despite the fact that i don't talk w y'all muc#i do appreciate y'all being there and making me feel like more of a person than i feel like i am lately <3
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selfundiagnosed · 1 year
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&&the mental gymnastics they do to sleep each night without a guilty conscience so they can convince themselves their disgusting behavior is justified toward you🤥
#weird but creative lies#oddly specific enough to be believable lies#the reality of your actions & lack thereof are SO painful youd rather convince yourself of a lie to make you feel better#i am DYING to know what other lies you tell your loved ones about me haha#but the fact that someone who trusted your word snitched on you and told me your weird idea of smearing my name thru the mud#and with what you lied about its clear it comes from a place of deep insecurity of what you know im telling other people you did to ne#idk the parallels between me talking abt my lived experience with you as a close friend vs what you told your family im saying about THEM?#just own up to your wicked good ability to displace blame and make me look like a crazy person#oh youre telling everyone i put you in danger?!#i need to put you in more danger and make you look like your word is paper thin!#see theyre calling random people theyve never met nazis!! obviously i did nothing wrong not telling you i brought one to your house#you are so sick ive been wrestling for over a year since i found out#for you to take how uncomfortable that made me feel knowing you had a chance to tell me and didnt#and over a year later you still wont see why it hurt#but I understood why you didnt tell me so i trief to ask for spacr to heal our relationship and you snaked around that boundary#and tried to manipulate the people AROUND ME into forgiving you before i was ready#everyone does things to other humans that fuck them up. it does not reflect you. what reflects you as a person is how you handle it#and youre just burying your head in the sand acting like youre above it
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idolpyre · 1 year
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headcanon &. destiny
⠀ ⠀★  send  headcanon  +  a  word  and  i’ll  write  a  blurb  about  it  !!
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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀whenever i think of minjun, i immediately think of the quote :
" this was always going to happen. she's been dead since the beginning. "
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀just because i think his destiny has been sealed ever since the day his father died. minjun was destined to follow him into the grave. maybe he stood a chance, his career was already dying enough, so maybe he didn't have to go with it but — his fate was definitely set in stone as soon as jiwoon had joined no spin. this is how he'd die. and there was nothing minjun could do but blame himself for whatever jiwoon had become, unaware that there was a darkness within that boy long before minjun even met him, that he couldn't have helped him if he tried.
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀it also makes me think of this beautiful reply eggy ( @allkilled / @obituaried if ur not following them literally what's the point ??? ) wrote for me that to this day still FLOORS me because it just !!! it fits everything that became of minjun !!
" and what can I say of you? Burned too bright before you made it? Your soft heart ate you alive from the inside out, and the industry swallowed you up long before I could sink my teeth into you. "
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀minjun has been dead since the beginning, has been a victim of the industry long before he was jiwoon's. he was destined to burn as bright as his fleeting career had, a supernova for the masses to witness in all of his glory. he can only hope that his destiny has left a long lasting impression on those that supported him, that his fans think of him and feel warmth, and that they remember him for what he was, and not what he became.
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hani-family · 13 days
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A Final Plea from the Heart of Hell: Save Us Before Hope Dies 🔥
Hi, I'm Hani 🤗
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I am Hani, a 26-year-old young man from Gaza. I no longer have anything but words, written by a trembling hand ✍️. The war didn’t just destroy our lives; it took everything from us. Our home, the refuge that once sheltered us, is now a pile of rubble 🏚️. My car, my only source of livelihood, was destroyed in a sudden strike 🚗, and the work that once sustained us is now a distant memory 💼.
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Today, I live in an unending nightmare. Under a sun that burns everything in its path 🌞🔥, my family and I sit in a worn-out tent, a tent that neither shields us from the summer heat nor the winter cold ❄️. Insects 🦟 invade the place, diseases consume our bodies 🩺, and my younger siblings cry from hunger and thirst 🍞💧. We have no clean water, nor a crumb of bread to ease our hunger. Each passing day deepens the weight of this hell we live in.
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My Little Brother is Dying of Fear 😨
My little brother, seven years old, is dying of fear. His eyes never stop crying 😢. Every morning, with a voice choked by tears, he asks me: "When will we go back to our home?" But I have no answer. Every look in his eyes 👁️, every tear that falls from them 💧, crushes my heart 💔. How can I explain to him that the hope which once was our lifeline has now turned into nothing but a mirage?
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The Night Only Adds to Our Pain 🌙
The night doesn’t bring us rest, it only adds to our pain. We sleep on hard ground, feeling the in every bone of our bodies 🥶, with nothing but pieces of cardboard 📦 to cover us. My older sister cries in silence 🥺 as she watches the future fade before her eyes. My sick mother, in desperate need of medical care 🩺💊, suffers in complete silence. My father, who was once the pillar of our family 👨‍👧‍👦, is now confined by his own weakness, unable to move or work.
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We Are Nearing the End ⚰️
Every day we live brings us one step closer to the end. Death surrounds us from every side: if not from hunger 🍽️, then from illness 🦠. And if not from illness, then from the despair that devours our souls.
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Where is Humanity?💔 Where is the World? 🌍
Where are the people of compassion? Are you waiting for us to vanish into the depths of this suffering? Are you waiting until death takes us before you act? We are drowning, and we don’t have enough strength to scream for help 🆘. Will you let this cry go unanswered? 😭
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Your donation today is our last thread of hope. Thanks to a few people, I was able to buy a simple phone 📱 to reach out to you, but the bitter truth is that what I and my family need is much greater. We are not asking for much; just enough to save our lives from this hell 🔥. Every donation, no matter how small, could be the difference between life and death for us 👐.
Don’t Let Us Disappear in the Darkness of Suffering 🌑
Don’t let our story end here. Be the light that guides us to salvation 🕯️✨.
With every tear, with every pain, I write this final plea to you, 
Hani 🙏🏼🍉🇵🇸🕊
My campaign vetted by @gazavetters link vetted
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reflectionsofgalaxies · 2 months
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EI rejected my claim and doesn’t say why, and I’m panicked and furious. This could mean I receive no EI support at all this month, and not only do I have rent to pay which takes almost two EI payments alone, I now have school costs as well.
I feel like the world is falling apart around me just as I started to move forward for the first time in eight years.
#this is probably the most. unsafe i guess. i’ve felt in months#i genuinely don’t know if i can handle all the things happening#losing our home. having to find a new place. my monthly rent at least doubling. the cost and stress of going back to school.#having to cut my hours once i’m back at work so i CAN go to school#no having any clue where my family is going to end up living#knowing that everyone in my family will be losing money after selling the house because we will all be renting#but it’s the only option because my mom doesn’t have enough money to survive on and the house half belongs to her#so she needs that money now#but if we could hold on to the house for even just three more years we would be in a much better spot financially bc#1. my dad wouldn’t be losing 2000+ dollars a month on rent 2. i wouldn’t be spending an additional 600 or more on rent than i already am#3. because they’re developing the area around our house the value of the house will increase significantly#but it’s just not a fucking option#because sixteen years ago i forgot my fucking lunch and a bus decided to total my mom’s car and leave her permanently disabled#and i thought i got over blaming myself years ago because i REALIZE how fucking stupid it sounds#i was a fucking child i had no idea me forgetting my fucking lunch would mean my mom got hit by a bus#but it did#i forgot my lunch and a bus hit my mom and she had to leave the career she loved#and because she wasn’t working she was crossing the street two years later and got run over by a FUCKING car#and because she got run over by a car she was told that not only would she not return to work in the next five years she would likely never#work again. and she would also live with pain so bad they would put her on medications so heavy she became a different person#a violent person who i was scared of and who she herself didn’t understand and didn’t like and who in her own words#would have killed herself if she didn’t need to take care of me.#and because she was now an unemployed and struggling TBI survivor she was in the back of a car coming back from the CtCB awards#for TBI survivours when the car she was in was hit AGAIN and she needed to be cut out of the back seat.#the universe sure has a sick sense of humour#and because of the physical and emotional and financial strain on the family my dad became more stressed and angry and took it out on my mom#and eventually (thankfully for their own health) they got divorced#but now we’re here. losing the house. all because of the most disgusting butterfly effect i’ve ever encountered personally.#and it was my fault#anyway. i’m not going to do anything stupid i know that won’t help anyone. but i still don’t exactly want to be alive rn.
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momochiiee-reblogs · 3 months
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Never in a million years I would have expected to be answered about a toxic behaviour with "I’m not ready to talk about it. There’s very complicated feelings that come from many and very complicated sources and are extremely difficult to explain"
Amazing, just peak comedy there 10/10
Do you hear that? It's the circus calling you to return
#momochiiee mussings#how do I end having such individuals wanting to control my life is still a wonder to me but at least now I can enforce my boundaries#If anything I'm happy they spared me the hassle of having to block them from all socials#and tbh they probably think they hurt me by blocking me but the only one getting hurt is themselves#that a simple question of why do you treat my friend so poorly makes them suddenly extremely uncomfortable around me#they can lie and run away as much as they want but the fact they lied about how important I was to them#tells a lot of how much in their own lie this person lives#I did get gaslighted by this person but their harassment of my friends was the last straw#good riddance go touch some grass cuz you need it and do some soul searching while at it#If anything I’m mad that instead of admitting they were jealous of a friend they preferred to block me#if their way of solving things is blocking instead of talking things through then they better not contact me ever again#cuz my words won’t be curated next time#I will not take the time to think and talk calmly cuz I’m sick of hypocrites and possessive people#I’m a person! Not a fucking trophy to compete for or anything! A person with feelings and believe it or not a heart too!#Why are capricorns so cold? As one I am certain is because we had to deal with way too much bullshit and we’re tired of it all#Is it too much to ask for healthy relationships? Talking things and helping eachother grow?#to think that this person was cursing so much my previous toxic friendship for using me only to follow in their footsteps…. Sigh….#This re confirmed my belief that those who not boast about how deep is our friendship are the real true friends
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gentlethorns · 8 months
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sigh i carry it w me. i carry it all w me. when and where do i put it down
#she bork#idk ik it's bc i'm in an episode (thanks period + stress combo) so everything is magnified and the biggest deal on earth but sometimes i#just feel like i carry so much sadness and tragedy not just from shit that happens to me but shit that happens to people i'm close to or#even people i just know in passing or even people idk at all (for example palestine) and sometimes it just feels like it all builds up.#there is so so so much loss everywhere and i try not to fixate on it and let it build on itself but sometimes it's hard. lol all this is#being brought on bc last night one of my friends (the one we were gonna move in w) showed me the poetry of his friend (who was also going to#move in w us so my bf and i like knew her in passing and were planning to get to know her more) who took her life last month and her work#just struck me. it was very good and it honestly reminded me of my own work like we had very similar styles and vocabulary and her work was#just very striking and it made me sad. sad bc like now she's gone and there will be no more words and also sad bc i feel like i really would#have liked to know her more and feed off of her and let her feed off of that part of myself as well. i feel like we would've understood each#other. god loss like this is just everywhere everywhere everywhere you cannot escape it and sometimes i just find it difficult to cope.#whatever no matter i'm getting another tattoo bc again i am in an episode and the stress pushed me to it so i'm hoping to get some good rest#while i'm being tattooed and/or for it to be therapeutic. sometimes it can be a form of like mindfulness or zen so that's what i'm hoping to#get out of it (along w a sick tat obviously)
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“Fuck, you’re so wet. This all for me, love?”
You felt your thighs squeeze around your lieutenants large hand at his filthy words, a soft mewl escaping your lips as your mind was too hazy to formulate a response.
“Nothing to say? You had plenty to say earlier when you were running that filthy little mouth of yours.” Simon’s tone was teasing, borderline mean. “Wanted me so damn bad, here I am sweetheart.”
You let out a strangled gasp as he curled his thick fingers, grazing the spongy spot inside of you that had you seeing stars. “P-please.”
“Please? Please what. Use your words.” Simons fingers didn’t relent now that he knew he found your spot. He was nothing if not relentless.
“Please, I need to cum, sir.” You squealed, your eyes fluttering shut, your mind running completely blank.
At that, Simon ripped his fingers from your aching hole, his eyes not leaving yours as he proceeded to suck his digits clean. Before you could even comprehend how impossibly hot the action was, he had you spun around, practically slamming your back against the door of the supply closet you were currently hiding away in.
“You gonna be a good fuckin’ girl for me, Y/N?” He cooed in your ear, his hands roughly ripping your pants down to pool around your ankles. “Gonna be a good girl for you lieutenant?”
You gave a weak nod in reply, not daring to trust your voice. It seemed to be enough for him, as he was quick to unfasten his belt, his own pants pooling around his ankles as he lifted you with ease, prompting your legs to wrap securely around his bulky waist.
“Your pretty little thighs are shaking, love.” He was shamelessly teasing you now, but you’d lost any sense of shame at this point. “Does my cock still make you nervous, even after I’ve fucked you in this closet more times than either of us could count?”
You let out a muffled cry, biting into Simon’s shoulder as he slammed himself inside you without warning, his thick cock a welcome intrusion within your walls. The stretch was delicious, your warm walls welcoming his thick length with ease. You’d never get sick of this, of the way he felt inside of you.
His pace was brutal, never pausing once to let you adjust. He never did, he knew you could take him. You always did.
Your whines seemed to encourage him as he pressed into you harder, your back sure to be bruised from the force of being shoved against the door, but neither of you cared.
“I’m going to fucking ruin you for any one else, sweetheart.” He growled into your ear, his hot breath fanning against your earlobe. “Gonna ruin my pretty girl.”
And Simon Riley is a man of his word.
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cute-little-crow · 27 days
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Based on a request by 💌 anon on how Sylus might react if he finds out you’re ovulating…
tw: female reader, talk of ovulation, implied breeding kink, Sylus has a strong reaction to the news, mention of birth control, NSFW throughout but part two will be worse 😈
Part Two
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Fragrant water sloshed over the edge of the tub, your skin slippery from the concoction of essential oils added earlier in the hope of relieving your aches and pains. Your hand slid against your body, glossing over hardened nipples and dipping past your navel towards the dull, throbbing ache between your legs.
Your eyes remained stubbornly closed, thoughts of the debauched nature swirling in a vortex of crimson and obsidian feathers. God, you wished you could admit everything to him… admit that you were struggling, but it wouldn’t be fair to press your burdens onto Sylus.
That was why you had avoided him as much as you could. Why you had dodged the touches he tried to brush against your skin, worried that one touch alone would be enough to give the game away. That he would know from the blazing heat of your skin that things were not as they seemed.
You knew it bothered him, not that he had said anything on the subject, but it was only a matter of time. Sylus was not one to be denied.
As if summoned by thought alone, a sharp knock punctuated your daydreaming. Sinking lower into the tub until your chin hit the waterline, you listened as the low rumble of Sylus’s voice drifted through the door.
“Can I come in, sweetie?”
A tiny part of you wanted to refuse him, but that would be cruel, and cruelty was not a part of your nature, not even in your current state.
Vermillion eyes locked with yours, curious and if you weren’t mistaken, concerned. Sylus sat on the edge of the bath, his back resting on the ceramic tiles whilst he cocked his head and let out a weary breath.
“For a minute, I didn’t think you would let me in,” he admitted whilst carefully rolling the sleeves of his shirt to the elbows. “You’ve been avoiding me, kitten, why?”
You glanced off to the side, heat warmed your cheeks at the accusation. How did you tell him that it was for his own good? He didn’t need you distracting him unnecessarily with wants that made you blush and squirm with embarrassment.
Splash…
His strong hand plunged into the steaming water and wrapped around your ankle. He thumbed across your ankle bone delicately, long fingers splayed around your heel and towards your arch.
“Talk to me.”
The words were followed up with a squeeze of his hand, eliciting a moan that you couldn’t suppress. The corner of Sylus’s mouth twitched upward into a subtle smile, his grasp loosening to run the length of your calf.
“Sylus… I—it doesn’t matter. I’ll be okay, in a few days I’ll be back to my old self.”
“A few days? Nuh-uh, sweetie… I am not prepared to wait so long and I am certainly not willingly to have you continue to avoid me. What’s wrong? Are you sick?” He asked, brow furrowed and the first tendrils of his power leaked out to wash over you.
The power called to your own, entwined around each other in a lovers embrace, twisting and writhing. You weren’t sure if he felt it too, though if you were more present of mind you might have noticed how his breathing had turned shallow and his fingers had stopped massaging calf.
You licked over your parched lips. Gaze low-lidded as desire overrode your previous reservations.
“I’m… can you not look at me like that whilst I tell you this? It’s not helping.”
“Looking at you like what?”
“Like you’re going to devour me whole.”
Sylus huffed a laugh. “I just might, but fine. I’ll close my eyes, how about that?”
He was so handsome and that was certainly a large part of the problem. You’d lost count to the number of times you had fantasised about him soothing the ache in your belly. A large palm pressed against your soft belly whilst he thrust into your hot, wet cunt. His silver hair tickling your shoulder as he marked the skin of your neck, blowing cool air across the blooming bruises. Filling you up over and over until sleep took you hostage and you could happily drown in the fatigue of overused muscles.
“I’m ovulating,” you finally conceded, rushing on to explain. “It makes me feel needy. My body is hypersensitive. I’m prone to my emotions getting the better of me. Picking fights over nothing. Letting jealousy win. It’s a lot and I’m trying not to let it affect you…”
There was a weighty silence, filled only with the gentle sway of the water, and then it was broken.
“Ovulating. You’re… shit—well, that explains a thing or two.”
His eyes were positively glowing. His jaw set into an expression of pure agony. If looks could inflict damage you knew you’d be bloody beneath his dangerous maw.
Sylus was pure predator and you were the only prey he ever wanted to both consume and protect.
“Soft or rough?”
The question didn’t make sense and you frowned in confusion, nose wrinkled.
He answered by submerging his arm into the tub, right between your legs. Not even your attempt at closing your knees together would hinder his progress, not until he cupped your sex.
“I am giving you a choice,” he grit out, jaw flexing, “on how the next few hours are going to go. Either way, you will be asleep in my arms and content by the time I’m finished.”
“Oh, Sylus~”
Sylus groaned. His middle finger rubbed along your slit swollen with heat and desire, dipping through the hot flesh like a knife through butter.
“Don’t. Don’t say my name like that or I’ll make the decision for you,” he warned.
Saliva filled your mouth, runny and hot. “Rough,” you purred, letting your pussy answer for you. “But Sylus… I’m not on birth control right now.”
Sylus, who had started to rise to his feet with his arm dripping and his shirt sleeve dark with water, paused. He turned his gaze on you once more and your spine arched off the porcelain tub, nipples peaked and swollen emerged from the fragrant water.
“Stop talking, princess. I’m already a hair away from plucking you from the water and taking you on the bathroom floor like a dog.”
He strode for the door, ripping it open with such force that you shuddered.
“Five minutes. You have five minutes to get out and get onto all fours on our bed. I want to see my pretty pussy glistening and ready for me… maybe I’ll fuck a baby into you, if you’re lucky.”
You asked for rough… you were going to get it.
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an: part two coming soon… dividers by @/roseschoices
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sttoru · 3 months
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 𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. nanami kento x pregnant wife!female reader. smut, pwp. cunnilingus. pregnancy kink kinda. not proof read. reader gets called ‘sweetheart, honey, darling’
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kento nanami cannot leave you alone, even if you’re pregnant. he’s a natural provider and always wants the best for you. especially when you’re carrying his child—which he thanks you for every single day. one day he shows his appreciation through words of affirmation, the other day it’s with endless gifts.
this time it’s by relieving your stress underneath the table while you’re peacefully eating breakfast.
“fuck. . ken,” you tug at his hair with your free hand, the other holding the toast you’ve been nibbling on. your head rolls back and your breath comes out in short gasps as kento’s tongue flicks over your sensitive cunt.
you didn’t expect your morning to be like this, but you’re not complaining. kento always has to start off his day by worshipping your body in any type of way. he’ll rub your small baby bump while you’re cooking, whisper sweet nothings into your ear, kiss you all over while telling you how beautiful you look and even more.
this time his usual body worship had evolved into something more. from kissing your little pregnant belly and praising you for bearing his child, to him kneeling between your legs, slobbering all over your soaked pussy.
“i know, sweetheart. your dear husband will make you feel better, i promise,” kento coos, his voice muffled as his mouth collides with your glistening folds over and over again. he’s getting lost in your essence—the slick messily coating his lips.
his fingers rub your clit a little in the meantime, not forgetting to pleasure you to his best ability. your repetitive moans bounce off the walls of the kitchen, echoing in his ears. you sound like an angel and your body feels like one as well.
kento tries his best to keep his own grunts down. your cunt is dripping so much, amazing amounts of wetness cover his mouth to the point that it trickles down his chin. he’s without a doubt getting drunk on your essence.
the place between your thighs is considered a heaven on earth to the blonde man.
“mhh, are you feeling better, honey?” kento asks, opening his eyes halfway to look up at you, “am i pleasing my wife well?”
the sight of your husband kneeling in front of you, his hands holding your hips steady on the chair and his mouth ravaging your puffy folds makes you forget all about the morning sickness you’ve been complaining of.
“f-feels way too good,” your breath is shaky as you try to focus on eating. you can’t physically get that piece of bread to your mouth, your hand shaking from the pleasure you’re being granted. your pussy tingles and aches with each lick or suck—your hips trying to buck against kento’s mouth.
“that’s great,” kento murmurs, his nose bumping against the bundle of nerves that’s nestled between your folds. the place that makes you go wild, “that’s all i want.” you squeal and find yourself dropping your toast to place your other hand on kento’s head.
you tug at his hair and gain another groan from him. kento notices that you’ve stopped eating and he pulls away from your pulsing cunt for a second, kissing your inner thighs gently. “you need to eat up, darling,” kento’s hot breath hits your bare pussy as he stares at you with love and lust in his eyes, “you’re eating for two now after all.”
he taps your little bump and leans in to kiss your swollen skin. an affectionate smile appears on his handsome features, one that makes you melt immediately. you know kento won’t resume eating you out unless you take a bite of your food again.
“fine,” you pout and grab your toast. you take a small bite and at the same time, you feel kento’s lips kiss your core back. the tip of his tongue slithers up and down your slit, circling your pulsating hole before kissing your clit.
he’s taking his sweet time to make you cum. after all, this is meant to soothe and pleasure you. to take your mind off the negative aspects of your pregnancy. if there’s one thing kento can do as your man, as the father of your child, it’s to take care of you both mentally and physically, in any way you need.
“how about your breakfast, k-ken?” you ask through quick whines. your entire body feels like it’s on fire. kento’s large hands keep holding your body down on the chair so you wouldn’t have the chance to escape his loving gestures. your teary eyes look over the table, “your coffee is getting cold.”
kento chuckles at your worries. you’re selfless, even when he’s offered to pleasure you himself. he leaves a trail of kisses up and down your throbbing pussy, his saliva mixing with your slick and causing lewd strings of clear liquid to stick to his chin.
“don’t you worry. i got my breakfast right here,” kento answers softly while eating you out. every jaw movement is down with precision—it’s slow yet filled with passion. he slurps up any excess fluid every now and then, not caring if you’re making a mess on the chair or on his face.
kento smiles against your wetness when he hears you moan at his words. the way you look so ethereal, staring down at him with open lips, drooling a bit with bread crumbs staining the area around your mouth is absolutely endearing, “you’re so cute. keep looking at me, darling.”
you cannot believe this man. he’s so caring, so loving. you definitely chose the right person to marry and have children with. his rough fingers come up to rub your small baby bump again, not forgetting to show you his appreciation through subtle touches in the meantime.
“so sweet,” kento sighs as he swallows drops of your slick, “letting me take care of you like this . . . such a good wife.”
he’s getting drunk on you, definitely. the taste of your essence and the fact that you’re pregnant with his child right now—the fact that he’s the one who impregnated you and made you a soon-to-be mother—is driving him insane. his cock is dripping with pre-cum, ready to burst.
but, he’ll hold himself back for your sake. you’re going to be taken care of first since you’re his priority and always will be.
being pregnant is so worth it when your husband is kento nanami.
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ponderingmoonlight · 3 months
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Sanemi lashing out on his pregnant wife only to beg her for forgiveness later
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Pairing: Sanemi x pregnant!reader
Word Count: 3,1k
Synopsis: Like every week, you find yourself on your way back from Shinobu's estate and your pregnancy check-up. Little did you know what horror awaits you at your own home with your husband almost killing two kids...
Warnings: Sanemi is mean in this one and I mean it, extreme hurt but also comfort in the end so don't worry, full Shinazugawa package regarding language and violence lol, not proofread because I have to leave now
Thank you sooo much for that cool request @itsmscoco and I'm sorry it took a while. I really hope you like what I came up with 🤍
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You rub your minor belly. For a woman, a pregnancy should feel like a trip to heaven. After all, you are blessed with developing a child that is half you and half your husband. Oh, your beloved and surprisingly gentle husband who always makes sure that you get enough sleep, that you nutrition yourself properly. But even the wind hashira can’t do a single thing against your constant sickness and pain.
“Please try this out, (y/n). Don’t hesitate to come here again if you need something else. You really have an unfortunate pregnancy when it comes to nausea”, Shinobu comments gently while giving your belly a little massage.
“Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited about the honor of caring for a child in my own body. But honestly, I’m so glad when this pregnancy is over”, you huff while taking a deep breath in.
Please, don’t vomit all over the insect pillar who’s just trying to help. You’ve been here what feels like everyday since finding out you’re pregnant. Well, to be exact, Shinobu is the one who suggested that you might expect a child.
Because of your never-ending sickness.
“Oh, there’s nothing to get wrong at all! After all, your pregnancy is a rather difficult one. But I’m sure Shinazugawa is taking good care of you!”
“He definitely does. My husband is an angel”, you reply in an instant.
You can’t wait to go back home. Even though your sleep-drunken eyes won’t be able to stay open longer than maybe a few hours, even though you weren’t able to catch a proper glimpse at Sanemi’s part in the on-going hashira training until now, you can’t wait to go back home. Back into your estate, back into the arms of your beloved husband.
“Not quite the codename I’d use for him, but that’s just what love does, right? I will send a kakushi along with you. Otherwise, Shinazugawa might show up and threaten me”, Shinobu jokes while helping you to get up.
“Thank you for your help. Again.”
You pull the insect hashira into a deep hug. How lucky you should consider yourself for the opportunity to call Shinobu your friend, that Sanemi laid his eyes on you. Out of all the countless women around, the ones with faces like porcelain and bodies so well-formed you can’t hold a candle against every single one of them. But still, he chose you.
“Come on, (y/n). Why are you crying?”, Shinobo whispers into your ear while rubbing small circles onto your back.
“I’m just a little overwhelmed from everything I guess”, you mumble against her comforting shoulder.
Just a few months ago, you would have laughed at anyone who told you that your life would turn out like this. Of course, you’ve lost countless good friends and family members on the way and living with a suborn husband like Sanemi isn’t always easy. But somehow, the two of you always make it work.
Right?
-at the wind hashira estate-
“We are almost there. Are you feeling alright?”
“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m just a little tired from walking, that’s all!”
Truth is, your feet hurt like hell. Shinobu reported about women who don’t even feel their baby until the second trimester. Why are your feet already swollen, your belly bloated, your guts constantly turning? And there’s still so much ahead.
“Looks like Shinazugawa-sama received a new bunch of trainees after the other corps members all landed in Kocho-sama’s hospital wing”, the kakushi next to you comments dryly.
“Was it really that bad?”
Of course you heard about the rather brutal training methods of your husband. After all, even the walls of his estate aren’t thick enough to stop every single scream from reaching your ears. But still…
“It was pretty bad. Some of the-“
Glass cracking. Screams from afar. Out of instinct, you pick up your pace until you dash towards your home, sweat now dripping from every pore. What happened? Is Sanemi alright? He wouldn’t leash out on one of his students like that. Something must have happened. A demon? No, it’s still daytime. But what is it?
“He’s back! He’s back! That cold-blooded man! Lie down and pretend that you’ve fainted!”, a blonde-haired boy screams while almost collapsing onto the floor.
“What are you talking about? What’s going on here?”, you press out.
Your lungs threaten to fail you, breath already tasting like pure iron.
Until your eyes find Genya.
Your guts twist and turn in every direction, almost force you to vomit all over the place. Genya shouldn’t be here. Out of all people, it shouldn’t be him. And who’s the boy next to him. That familiar scar, you’ve seen that boy before. Is it possible that…
“Kamado Tanjiro”, you breathe out.
Maybe that is even worse.
Your eyes dart around the area without an aim. Where’s Sanemi? Did he find them already? They need to leave before he finds out that they’re here, carry on with another hashira training.
“Please stop now!”, Tanjiro suddenly shouts while stretching out his arm in defence.
An uneasy feeling crawls up your spine, the dark claws of sickening foreshadowing. All you can do is standing death still right where you are and watch in sheer horror as your husband stomps out of your estate motion.
Is that your husband you love and adore, though? You know how untamed he can get especially when getting confronted with his painful past. It was never easy for him to see Genya join the demon slayer corps or realize that his mother could have been saved like Tanjiro’s sister.
But never in your entire life have you seen him like this. The empty shell of your husband, muscles tensed to the maximum and his empty orbs directed towards the two boys in front of him.
In this very moment, you’d trust him to actually kill them.
“What are you going to do? Are you planning to kill Genya?”, Tanjiro continues passionately.
Your glossy orbs are set on your husband. Would he really do something like that? What if you witness the father of your unborn child taking the life of two other human beings? Your heart can’t take it, knees threaten to fail you.
“Hell no, I’m not going to kill him. It would be easy enough to kill him, but since it’s against the rules and all…I’m going to ruin him beyond recovery!”
Until your blurry head finally makes a decision and allows your feet to run.
Straight towards the two boys.
Straight into the firing line.
Straight into the sight of your now maniac husband.
“You won’t do any of these things, you hear me?”, you jeer at him with your new-found courage.
“(y/n)”, Genya breathes behind you.
“How dare you to talk to innocent children like that, Sanemi?”
The man in front of you furrows his eyebrows, hands clenched into tight fists while taking a step towards you.
“Get lost. Right now”, he hisses through gritted teeth.
You swallow hard, all nerves now tingling in sheer horror. This is the first and last warning, without any doubt. The look on his stone-cold face tells you more than urgently that Sanemi isn’t playing, that he doesn’t want you here.
Maybe it’s best if you go back inside and pretend that nothing happened. He himself said that he won’t kill them, after all…
“I’m not leaving”, you bite back.
But that would mean leaving Genya alone. That would mean giving up all of your principles.
“Will you act out like this towards our child as well?”, you continue while growing bigger and bigger in front of the two boys.
He might be your husband, the love of your life. That doesn’t mean you’ll always have to do what he tells you, tough. Instinctively, you clench your hands into tight fists with your glossy eyes almost piercing through him. Enough is enough.
“If our child acts as dumb as you do, I sure as hell will!”
Oh.
Your heart drops to the floor when a nauseous wave of agony hits you with full force. Sanemi is and has always been a hot-headed man who never thought twice about the things he said. But never, not even once in your entire relationship he insulted you.
Until now.
“Is this really how you feel about me? We should support each other, you should listen to me as well as-“
“Spare me with that bullshit, (y/n)”, Sanemi spits at you.
“Get.out.of.the.way. Can’t you hear me?”
It’s like you stop living for a moment. All this time, you did your best to understand him and his grief. Everything Sanemi does comes with a logical reason behind it, even though it’s hard to see from time to time. But lashing out at you like that?
“Stop being so disrespectful to me right now. I am your wife-“
“Right now, you’re my problem”, he jeers back.
“And now get off my sight and let me finish this real quick-“
You don’t know what made you act the way you just did. Was it his cruel behaviour, the way his words cut through your heart like a thousand knives? Before your husband is even able to finish his sentence, your palm races towards his cheek with full force.
The world around you goes silent, frightful gazes glued onto you while you can’t stop your tears from falling anymore.
“Is this how you’re acting around your pregnant wife by now, how you’ll treat innocent children? If that’s the live you chose, I’m not a part of it anymore”, you hiss through gritted teeth.
Suddenly, the urge to get as far away from him as possible becomes unbearable. Your feet start sprinting towards the estate on your own, carry you into your now so empty-feeling bedroom.
And finally, you allow yourself to break down and cry.
Is this really the man you love, that you’d give your life for? Your shaky fingers caress your belly mindlessly.
You can’t stay here. Not when Sanemi showed you a completely different face today. Not when this place doesn’t feel like home anymore.
-a few hours later-
“Fuck!”, Sanemi cries out on top of his lungs while dashing towards Obanai over and over.
Why can’t he get your stupid words out of his mind? The way you stood there with tears in your eyes, how he was literally able to hear your heart crack when those damned words left his mouth. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, to drag you into the fuckery with his little brother and that Kamado boy.
But why did he say all those dumb things, then?
“You seem off, Shinazugawa”, Obanai comments dryly, hitting the wind hashira with full force again.
“I guess I fucked up”, Sanemi mumbles.
What if you won’t forgive him for today? Your last words haunt him since the moment you left him standing in the rain.
“I bet you can talk your way out of it-“
“Hell nah. I don’t think she wants to see me tonight.”
“Did you ask her, though?”
“Who the hell do you think you are anyway? You’re the one to talk, not able to confess your feelings to Mitsuri”, Sanemi barks at the man next to him.
“But yeah, maybe I should get going…”
Coming home never fuelled him with so much fright. What if you’re still angry at him, if you refuse to even talk to him? Or even worse, what if you’ll really leave him?
Sanemi’s guts turn in an instant, feet now picking up their pace with every step. He can’t lose you. Not you, the light of his life. Not when you are the only ray of sunshine in this rotting hell. What the hell did he do? The fact that he even raised his voice at you is unforgivable.
Finally, his fingers grab the door that leads to your shared bedroom, finally he’s able to make up for his mistakes of today-
His eyes widen in sheer horror.
You’re gone.
Right there where your head should rest, there’s absolutely nothing.
Panic starts rising up his chest, forces his heart down his throat.
Did you leave?
He yanks out of your shared room, eyes roaming around each and every corner of your estate. But you aren’t there. You aren’t here.
“My lady is at the love hashira’s estate.”
Sanemi darts up immediately, greeted by the oh so familiar voice of your personal crow.
“Is she fine, why did she-“
“With all due respect, I suggest you to control yourself before making any more insensitive comments to my lady-“
“Who the hell do you even think you are you-“
“Your earlier spoken words really troubled her and my lady certainly does not deserve that.”
Without another word, your crow disappears into the darkness of night again.
Sanemi swallows hard. Fuck, did he really hurt you that badly? He never wanted you to feel bad, never wanted to hurt you. Damn, he only wanted to show Genya and that Kamado boy their places. It shouldn’t have hit you. Out of all people, why did he have to hurt you?
“I need to tell her”, he mumbles under his breath before dashing towards the love hashira estate.
-at Mitsuri’s-
“I can’t believe Shinazugawa said something like this to you, (y/n)! You are super far away from being dumb, after all! Here, eat another pancake and stay as long as you want.”, Mitsuri babbles while handing you another plate.
Your dry eyes are barely able to stay open any longer. All the grief, explaining, fighting and crying did apparently really wear you out. Good for you Mitsuri’s estate is near by and you just know she’ll always open her arms for you.
“Thank you so much for taking me in, Kanroji. I really don’t deserve your kindness”, you sniffle.
“You have to be joking, (y/n)! It’s my duty as your friend to be there for you anytime you need me! And also, I-”
Three violent knocks on Mitsuri’s wooden door almost send you over the edge. It’s past after midnight, the time closer to the morning than evening. Who would knock on Mitsuri’s door this late at night?
“Do you think that’s a demon?”, you mutter in horror, both pairs of eyes set on the door.
“I don’t think so. Let’s see!”
Before you’re able to stop Mitsuri, she rips open the door.
And reveals no other than your husband.
“Sanemi”, you breathe out.
Tears start swelling up your eyes in an instant when a flood of memories crushes you all over again. Just a few hours ago, your husband made very clear that he doesn’t want to see you again anytime soon. How did he find out that you’re here?
“(y/n), can we…have a talk?”, he mumbles with icy voice.
“Do you want to leave me?”, you blurt out.
“What?”
Is that really how you feel, what you think of him? That he’ll turn his back on you after a fight? He did say all those nasty things to you, though.
“I think I’m going out and…cook!”, Mitsuri announces while sprinting out of the door, leaving you alone in the room with all that tension and him.
Him, the man you love more than anything else in this world. And also him, who broke your heart like he never did before.
“You have to be kidding me”, Sanemi mutters under his breath.
You turn away before you lose your composure completely.
“Why are you here, Sanemi?”
“Do you really think I’m here to dump you!? You, my pregnant wife!? You can’t be fucking serious about that!”
In the matter of seconds, you find yourself surrounded by his usual so comforting arms that now hurt like daggers against your skin.
“Please, let me go, I can’t do this ri-“
“(y/n), please.”
His suffocated voice forces your eyes to dart upwards.
Instantly, your heart drops to the floor.
Is this really your husband, crying against your shoulder while pressing your body against his?
“I’m sorry for all the shit I’ve said, I’m sorry for making you feel this way. I’d never leave you, not when I’m even lucky for calling you mine. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this, I just…I just can’t stand them…”
“Sanemi…”
“And I get that I don’t deserve you and that I’m a jerk for hurting you. I know you could’ve had every man you wanted-“
“Sanemi!”, you snap at him, holding onto his face tightly.
“But you’re the one I want”, you finally cry out.
“But your words hurt me. Is this really how you feel about me? Do you really think I’m a burden?”
“I was out of my fucking mind for saying that to you! You’re my blessing, my everything, the sunshine in this rotting hell. You’re…You’re my wife, right?”
That innocent look on his now tear-soaked face runs shivers down your spine, reminds you that even though he acted out today, this man is still the Sanemi Shinazugawa you fell in love with years ago.
“I am your wife”, you press out before a new wave of tears haunts you down.
“I’m so sorry, (y/n). So so sorry”, he mutters again and again while kissing every tear away that escapes your eyes.
“And I’ll never talk to you like that again, I promise.”
“Will you promise to not treat Tanjiro and Genya like that ever again too?”
Sanemi shifts his weight underneath you, his orbs growing hard again. Was this too much to ask for? No. Even though you love Sanemi’s rough side as well, he simply can’t do something like this again. Not when you’re his wife, not when you are expecting his first very own child.
“I will. But only if these jerks leave me alone”, he grumbles before giving you a passionate kiss.
“That might be manageable. I want to go home now…”
“No problem, I’ll carry you-“
“You really don’t have to carry me-“
“Oh, but I sure as hell will.”
“HAVE A GOOD NIGHT YOU TWO! AND DON’T ACT LIKE A JERK AGAIN, SHINAZUGAWA!”
“Did you have to tell her everything?”
“She’s my friend, Sanemi. Of course I had to.”
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