#I am putting the triggers if the fics
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
You read Ripples? I was disgusted by it
Timoteo and Iemitsu are disgusting and I am glad Tsuna wasn't born a girl
Begin a girl of Vongola blood would be hell
Just ask Sawada Natsuki and Sawada Chiyohime
They immendiately view anyone of blood as their property
Trying to make a 'deal' that don't benefit her at all? What even as that?
And genuine think she won't kill them? That they would be what? Her advisors? She clearly isnt their weak and moldable Tsuna, she would kick them out the moment she could or kill them, for real
Again, Enemy on the Throne
I need to make this a tag
Those people are dumb
And so is Tsuna (sorry)
#tw rape#trigger warning#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#I am putting the triggers if the fics#forced marriage#Maybe thats the reason I am on Alicent's side on the Team Green vs Team Black war
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
If this scene shows me Medic Eddie tending Bucks wounds whilst standing between his legs - I will promptly expire
#the tenderness and intimacy of tending wounds whilst standing between Bucks legs#eddie getting to be a care giver in an intimate and vulnerable way#the way Buck would let Eddie - would be vulnerable in that way with him#(even with his boyfriend there)#it would definitely be a way to trigger a Buck feelings realisation#and put things into flux and bring change#not to mention the fact I would melt at the fact it would be fan fic come to life#the potential way it parallels the way Tommy treated Eddies injury v Bucks#the way Tommy is distant with Buck but was intimate with Eddie - the play on Tommy pursuing Eddie first and switching to Buck later#the call back to their first kiss (Buck is in a similar spot and tommy is too - and likely wearing the same colour ways as that scene)#the way it creates this interestingly tangled knotty web - that Buck is unpicking and figuring things out#hmmmm I am intrigued!#but I will die if it actually happens and be screaming soooo loudly!#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#buddie#anti tommy kinard#anti bucktommy
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
Big Sky Ranch
Kristanna Modern AU Rated: M WC: 1829
In the foothills off of the Rocky Mountains, resides a generational Ranch known to all in the area. Kristoff, a humble hand on that ranch, works hard and enjoys his simple existence. It isn't until a new woman starts at the diner that be begins to acknowledge his loneliness and plans to ask her on a date. When his plans are foiled by a rival group of men, it sets events into motion that plunge Anna and Kristoff into getting to know each other through some very unexpected situations and their relationship blossoms as their lives begin to change.
--------------------
A/N: This had been my passion project for over a year, and is the most self-indulgent thing I have ever written. It is inspired by the ranch setting of Yellowstone and the rural area in which I live.
---------------------
Anna had only been working as a waitress at the diner for a week, and she was quickly learning what the biggest perk of the job was.
It was the cowboys.
She’d moved to the small town only a month prior, desperate to get as far away from the city where her sleazy ex-fiancé was. It was the fresh start she needed after wallowing about that cheating asshole for months. Truly dark times they had been.
After finding a basement suite to rent since she wasn’t sure how long she would be there before she moved on again, she got the job at the diner, and was truly starting to enjoy life again. And that was in large part due to the clientele.
The town was surrounded by ranchlands. Large farms spread out in all directions, and the roads were ruled by pick-up trucks and farm equipment. Many times, Anna had gone for a drive to clear her head and she’d come upon some large tractor-thing, and she’d have to squeeze around the slow-moving vehicle in the wrong lane, or wait until it pulled into a pasture. Even so, she never minded too much, because she enjoyed the drives and admiring the lovely scenery against the backdrop of the Rocky Mountains.
And every day, rain or shine, groups of men came in for breakfast or lunch. Most of them in the full cowboy outfit; cowboy boots, jeans, roper or plaid shirts, and cowboy hats. And no matter the size or shape of them, they were all ruggedly handsome in their own ways.
And decent! Anna had never met so many decent men. They were all extremely polite and respectful. They held doors and said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘ma’am’, and they always tipped generously even if they only had a cup of coffee and a piece of pie.
Anna truly did love her job, even if was a lot harder work than sitting behind a desk all day like she’d been doing when she worked at that insurance company with her ex.
That asshole could rot in hell.
Now Anna had her eyes open for a cowboy. A lot of them didn’t wear any wedding rings, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t married. She’d asked one of the other waitresses and was told they don’t wear them for safety, not wanting them to get caught in ropes or machinery. And the ones that did wear them, wore those new rubber ones that could break if they got caught in something. It made perfect sense to Anna. Although it certainly made it harder to tell who was and wasn’t attached.
Which was why for the time being she just had her eyes open. She never outwardly hit on any of them for fear of hitting on a taken man. She just hoped that one day, one of them might just ask her out. And until then, she would more than happily take in all the eye candy.
*****
Kristoff yawned as he got out of his truck and stretched out his tired back. Him and Sven got up extra early and treated themselves to breakfast whenever they could, and right now they had a short break before calving season when their days were a little less long.
The air was still chilly with the last of winter’s tenuous hold, and their breath came out in white vapors as they walked through the parking lot. At least the snow was mostly all gone, and while that meant that him and Sven’s work load was going to ramp up, it was hard to argue with the sun shining bright after six brutally long months of snow-covered ground.
As soon as they stepped into the diner, Sven gave him a nudge with his elbow.
“New girl,” he said under his breath, and flicked his head in her direction as they walked to a booth along the front windows.
Kristoff glanced her direction then turned to Sven and gave him a hard stare. Ever since he got engaged, Sven had been trying mercilessly to set Kristoff up with someone and it was starting to get on his nerves. The girl was really cute, sure, he just wasn’t interested. He was too damn set in his ways to be interested.
They sat in their favourite booth, took off their cowboy hats, and set them on the seat beside themselves. Kristoff ran a hand through his hair a few times, shaking out the hat line, and the new waitress came over straight away and set menus on the table.
“Morning, gentlemen.” She smiled brightly. “What can I start you out with today?”
“Coffee, black, and a water,” Kristoff said.
“Same here,” Sven said, “please.”
“Coming right up.” She gave them another bright smile and walked away.
“City girl,” Sven mused.
“Yup.” He’d heard her accent too.
“She don’t have a ring.”
“Sven-”
“Come on, man. You livin’ like that ain’t healthy. All alone in that cabin. You should move back to one of the main houses.”
“You know I don’t like being around people too much.”
“You like being around me.”
“Yeah, well, you’re the one exception and you know that too.”
“You could make another exception,” Sven flicked his head to the counter where she was pouring them coffee, “for her.”
“If you don’t cut this out, I’m gonna strap you to that nasty old bull out in the east pastures.”
“Ole’ Bruce?” Sven laughed. “That bull don’t got any fight left in him.”
“I beg to differ,” Kristoff stated. It was only a month ago that mean old brute had him scrambling for the fences when he charged Kristoff. And of course, no one had been around to see it and they all told him he was making shit up. That bull had it out for him, Kristoff knew it.
The waitress came back with the drinks and they ordered their usual; the cowboy breakfast. It came with two eggs, three strips of bacon, a pair of sausages, hash browns, beans and two slices of toast. Both him and Sven would eat it all and be starving by noon.
They ate quickly and Kristoff pulled his wallet out of his back pocket since it was his turn to pay. The waitress came back with the bill and a card machine which Kristoff waived off because he always paid with cash. He gave her a pretty nice tip since she’d kept their water and coffee cups full. He hated it when he was halfway through his meal and he had nothing to drink because the cups weren’t topped off.
On the way out, when Sven wasn’t looking, Kristoff glanced in the waitress’s direction. She had her copper hair in braids, and actually, was very attractive. He always had been a sucker for freckles. If he was interested in a relationship, he might ask her out, but he was more than content not having to deal with what came in having that sort of thing.
*****
Anna watched the pair of cowboy’s head back to their big dually in the parking lot. They’d been the best-looking ones yet. Especially that blond with the big nose and the pretty brown eyes. He was very handsome. And built! The guy’s biceps were giving that roper shirt a serious quality control test. She felt a little flustered to suddenly think about what being with a man like that would be like. Her ex had been on the skinnier side and nowhere near as tall. Not to mention never really left her satisfied. She had a feeling that the handsome blond cowboy sure wouldn’t disappoint.
He didn’t really say much, he left her a very nice tip, and he did say thank you when she dropped off their breakfast, even if he didn’t say please when he ordered it. Anna hoped she’d see him again soon and found herself hoping that he was single and looking.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sven suggested breakfast again the next morning and Kristoff damn well knew why. Still, it was hard to argue against a big brekky that he didn’t have to make himself. They drove to the diner and sure enough, the attractive waitress was working.
They sat in the same booth and she came over a moment later with coffees and waters. It impressed him a little that they didn’t have to order, even if was presumptuous of her.
“Same as yesterday, gentlemen?” she asked, after she’d set their drinks on the table.
“You bet,” Sven answered.
“And are we sticking with sunny-side up eggs and rye toast?” Both men nodded. “Perfect. I’ll have that right out to you.”
Kristoff found himself watching her walk away. She sure had a nice smile. Very friendly. Good for getting better tips for sure. And those eyes were something else.
“You should ask her out,” Sven persisted in a hushed voice.
He turned to Sven and scowled. “No.”
“Why not?”
Kristoff shrugged and couldn’t really come up with a good answer.
Sven heaved a big sigh. “You know what, I give up. You’re hopeless.”
Kristoff sneered. “Like you pointed out, she’s a city girl. Only one way a relationship with her is gonna end up, and that’s me being dumped after a week.”
“Maybe if you would just try-”
“That’s enough,” he said, very serious. “I’m not in the mood.”
Sven scoffed. “Fine, whatever.”
Kristoff looked down at his hands and started to dig some dirt out from under his thumbnail. Sven had no idea what he was talking about. Kristoff had always tried. He did his best, even though he was pretty damn clueless about romance. Which seemed to be why none of the ladies he’d gone out with stuck around long. He did try, and it was never enough. It had left him jaded about dating.
Their meals came out quickly and they ate even quicker to get a head start on their day. It was going to be another long one, meaning come Friday night, both of them would be more than eager to blow off some steam at the saloon.
*****
Anna gathered up the tip the other cowboy had left on the table. It was still very decent even if he wasn’t as generous as the blond. Neither of the men seemed like they were looking for a date, so Anna gave up on thinking that either of them were single. Like most of them, they were probably taken, leaving Anna wondered what she had to do to bag herself a cowboy.
Another waitress had been talking about going to a saloon by the highway at the edge of town on Friday evening for some dancing and asked Anna if she wanted to tag along too. She accepted, giddy at the chance that perhaps she might have her opportunity there to get herself a date, even if she was warned that the crowd could get pretty rowdy.
--
Next Chapter
#Big Sky Ranch#Cee wrote this mess#kristanna#kristoff#anna#kristanna modern au#I am not going to list all the trigger warnings#this fic is novel length and there are too many to put on here#as always read at your own risk#i 1000% wrote this for myself and decided to share#if you read it I really hope you enjoy
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Aventurine x reader
You die.
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
TW: DEATH, heavy angst, gore, blood, kind of disturbing, a bomb explodes, derealisation/disassociation, graphic, I'll be so honest this fic is kind of fucked up
Lmk if I should add any more specific warnings!
If you're sensitive to violence and dark themes, you probably shouldn't read this.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
This mission had gone terribly awry.
It was only meant to be a routine checkup. The IPC was planning on allocating resources from this planet, something the locals had not been pleased about. Aventurine understood. He would not be particularly happy to have his planet drained of all that made it worthwhile either. (He had not been happy. But all things considered, he thought he was being generous. Nobody was being directly killed, the IPC merely wanted a cut of the many materials the planet offered. The Avgins on Sigonia had all been very intentionally exterminated. He was not doing that to these people.)
Still, he couldn’t afford to take risks, hence the many IPC assigned bodyguards he had brought along. Deals like this, where the clients were undeniably on the losing end, were bound to go wrong in one way or another. Often violently so.
He just had not expected the bombs. He had not expected the mass amounts of guns. The people were more capable and vengeful than he had assumed, then. Ultimately, it was his own fault.
Most of his goons were dead. Most of the government officials were dead too. It made sense they’d want to go out in such a loud and proud way. A declaration to their people they wouldn’t lay flat before the otherworldly corporation that had come to essentially take away what made their planet their home. Bold to be ready to kill so many of their own, but he could respect it.
Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t be very angry. It was fair, all things considered. He’d had this long coming; being killed by the people whose lives he was ruining. In their positions, he’d love to kill him, too. The only issue was that this hadn’t happened under normal circumstances.
No, you were with him. You’d been just a bit away from him when they opened fire, when they set off the bomb.
It was so stupid. It was so, so unbelievably stupid that he’d let you come with. It was your job, yes, but he should have reassigned you to some other mission. Something safer. Something that didn’t involve visiting planets to drain them of all their worth. Something that didn’t bring about rage from the clients.
He could see you. He’d been saved from the brunt of the impact, and his luck had once again protected him from serious harm. He had only been slightly grazed by a bullet, had only been slightly burned by the heat of the explosion. Nothing serious. Nothing he couldn’t walk off within a week or two. You had not been so lucky.
Your arm was outstretched over your head, body lying limply on the floor. Missing the other arm. There was only a gaping, red hole where it had once been attached to your body, a little bit of bone sticking out of the gory mess. The blown off hand with your engagement ring lay close enough to him that he could touch it. Maybe intertwine his fingers with it for the last time. The pinky was missing.
He pushed himself onto his feet on unsteady legs. He could barely feel his own body at all. One glance down at it told him he’d been right in his initial assumption, though. No parts of him were missing. He was intact.
He stumbled over to where you lay, your expression calm, almost peaceful. No pained pinch between your brows, no worried frown on your lips. Were you unconscious, or were you dead? Though he knew it was unlikely you’d leave this place alive either way, he hoped desperately for the former.
He fell to his knees next to you. Something was buzzing beneath his skin. Something was buzzing in his vision. Had the world always been so blurry? Had there always been such a loud noise ringing in his ears? His hands trembled as he carefully reached out, a hand tenderly cupping your cheek. Your face was red, slightly burnt in places. Your hair was singed. You felt hot to the touch.
No, not hot. Warm. Warm as in alive. He couldn’t hear you breathing, but warmth meant life. Warmth meant life. You were alive, surely.
He brushed his thumb under your eye. Tried to find something to say, but he found his mouth refused to open. Carefully, so carefully, he shifted you onto his lap. He stared at the dust from all the debris that had settled onto you. He couldn’t breathe.
(He thought back to a time when the dust had been sand. He thought back to the red that had painted the ground then as it did now. He thought back to another body he had pulled closer, with hands much smaller and weaker than the ones he had now. He thought back to the taste of salt as tears fell in an endless stream from his eyes to cover his face and hers.)
He moved his free hand to your neck, gently pressing a finger to where he knew he was supposed to find your pulse. It wasn’t there, but only because he wasn’t searching hard enough. He carefully felt around, and though he couldn’t find it, he knew it was still there. He just didn’t dare press down hard enough to find it. The same applied when he felt your wrist. He was just bad at finding things today.
(He stupidly hadn’t found a good enough reason to put you out of this mission. He stupidly hadn’t found anything that happened before the explosion suspicious enough to leave early. He stupidly hadn’t found his way next to you quickly enough to save your life.)
When his hand landed on your chest, absent of a heartbeat, tears started falling from his eyes. But why was that? You weren’t dead. In fact, the longer he looked at you, the more sure he became this couldn’t be you. Your skin wasn’t this hot. Your arms were both still attached. You did not have fresh burns covering your face. Most importantly, you were alive. Alive and well and happy and safe from this little mishap. He had misremembered, you had stayed home during this mission. The hand he’d been so sure belonged to you had been someone else’s, he’d merely mistaken the ring for yours. It was such a bland ring, after all. He’d have to buy you a new, much prettier one once he came home to you, and apologise for his oversight in giving you such a boring design.
He ignored the repeated whispers of ‘not again, not again’ going through his head. Nothing was happening ‘again’. This was not Sigonia. This was not a person he loved, or even knew. He couldn’t understand why his body curled over the stranger’s, sobs wracking his frame as he pulled them close, soft apologies tumbling from his mouth. He nuzzled his face into your- their hair, hand carefully cradling the back of their head as the other supported their back.
The body smelled like you. The body felt too similar to yours in his arms. The body had your face, even if your features were a little damaged. The longer he stared, the more he could feel his gut sinking. So he shut his eyes and reminded himself that there was no possible way this was you. It couldn’t be, it couldn’t. The universe would not be that cruel to him, would it?
Then again, maybe he had deserved this. If it was real. He was not a good man. He had not come to this planet with good intentions. Losing the thing most precious to him, the only thing precious to him, after taking away so much from so many others was a befitting punishment.
But you hadn’t deserved this. Wouldn’t have, if it was real. You were so kind and generous and perfect and lovely, so different from him, so different from the position your job wanted you to be. You didn’t deserve to die.
Die. Dead.
Dead. Dead. Dead.
You were dead.
(Aventurine had seen so much death in his life. He should have been used to it by now. He was used to it. He had just forgotten how much it hurt when it is someone he loves.)
He held you tighter. If he held you tightly enough, could it piece you back together? If he held you tightly enough, could he replace the parts of you that were missing with his own? The sobs that escaped his lungs were violent, and quickly, some morphing into gagging. He felt sick. He had to turn himself away from you briefly to throw up, not wanting to soil what was left of you further, before he desperately held you again. Would it be the last time he held you?
Maybe if he took you back to the ship quickly enough, something of you could be salvaged. Maybe he couldn’t piece you back together, but he could find someone who would. There had to be something he could do. This couldn’t be it. He couldn’t lose like this again.
He could barely stand. His body was already weak and your added dead weight made it even harder to balance. He picked up the parts of you strewn about on the ground he could quickly spot. Your hand, your shoulder, what he thought might be your bicep. He couldn’t find your forearm and he didn’t have time to properly search for it. Maybe someone could put all of you back together? Maybe you’d be whole again. He wanted you to be whole again.
(He couldn’t save his people. He couldn’t save his mother. He couldn’t save his sister.)
(But things had to be different now, surely. He was a different person now. He had power, he had wealth, he had everything. What would it all be good for, if he couldn’t save you?)
Other IPC personnel met him outside the building as he stumbled out, and Aventurine’s mind was so hazy he couldn’t make sense of anything that was happening. He was pretty sure his own, now dead, workers had sent a distress signal. People rushed in to find anyone else from the wreckage. After, Aventurine found out he was the sole survivor. (He always was.)
(You had not survived.)
He demanded you be taken into surgery. That the medical staff on board had to get you to breathe again. For some reason, they had been hesitant. He threatened to have them fired or killed if they didn’t get to it. He set you as first priority, putting the best doctors they had on hand to work on you.
They sewed you back together as best as possible at his insistence. They got your heart pumping blood again, they hooked you up to machines and forced your lungs to breathe. The surgery lasted for four hours.
It did not change the flatline on the screen signalling your brain activity.
He could find the best doctors in the whole galaxy, but he already knew the line would remain flat. Nothing was bringing that back.
He stared at you for hours after your surgery. Interlaced his fingers with yours, feeling the artificial warmth of your hand. It did not feel like you. The temperature was wrong. The look on your face was wrong. Your body was wrong. Everything about what remained of you was wrong.
He eventually laid his head on your chest, and then he cried.
He cried until the black spots in his vision grew so numerous he could no longer see, until everything faded and he could no longer hear the beeping and humming of the machines keeping you hollowly alive.
(Why did he ever let himself love again?)
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
Sorry that was messy I wrote everything today because I am con-crunching tomorrow and won't be available for like at least 3 days after this (usually I write over the span of multiple days so I can re-read for grammatical/spelling errors and so my language will be a little more varied + I get fresh ideas). Sorry this fic was ?? kind of messed up ??? I think ??? I think my perception of what's messed up and not is kind of weird (I grew up on warrior cats HELP.) so to me it didn't feel that fucked up to write about Aventurine literally picking up your body parts after you died but I've realised upon mentally summarising that part of the fic that maybe that was kinda horrific. Just a glimpse into my twisted mind heh 😈.... sorry
My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3
#[rawbin]#[aventurine]#[by me]#[rawbin fanfic]#aventurine x reader#Idk what to say about this idk what trigger warnings I am supposed to put in the tags bro#idk if I portrayed his reaction the way I wanted to. I wanted it to come across more clearly that he was so devastated he couldn't even -#-comprehend this really was happening at the same time as he was slowly being hit by the realisation that this was in fact happening#Can't stop making him suffer sorry bro#Hope I got it across he's kind of a bad person also. In my previous fics I feel like it comes across a bit as if he's needlessly blaming -#-himself for being a monster. Want to make it clear he is actually on the mark and IS actually kind of a monster !#(hence why he's kind of flippant about taking resources away from a whole ass planet.)#(Remember when he basically scolded Topaz for not like colonising Jarilo IV ?😭)#I probably have more to say but I'm tired so erm bye#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine hsr#aventurine star rail#hsr aventurine#reader x aventurine#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#reader insert#aventurine#star rail aventurine#death#tw death#angst#heavy angst
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Brain Chemistry = INFLUENCED Your Feelings = IN DANGER
When @kyokokusakabe is whispering ideas in your ear ft. @snobithesnorunt screaming "I LIKED THE WAR BETTER" in the background
#I AM CACKLING LIKE A MADMAN#SWORE UP AND DOWN I'D NEVER PULL THIS TRIGGER BUT I HAD A MOTIVATION BLOCK AND KYOKO JUST#PUT A GUN IN MY HAND#WAR IS OVER WE TEAMING UP NOW#ALSO#MY N KEY IS BROKEN AGAIN HELP LOOOOL IM FURIOUSLY TYPING#WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PITCHFORKS#I CAN SM ELL EM#AHAHAHHAHA#my fics#dipplinshipping#kieran pokemon#kieran x juliana pokemon#juliana x kieran pokemon#kieran x juliana#juliana x kieran#juliana pokemon#the friend group#we joined forces wHAT A TIMELINE#taylor swift didnt even release ttpd yet I am not even at my full power but#GOD THE FUN WTH THIS SUBPLOT IS SO BEYOND INCREDIBLE#you coulda had something sweet#YOU COULDA#BUT YOU VOTED DIFFERENTLY ON THE POLL#ITS ALL YOUR FAULTS
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
got my finger on her trigger
“You promise this won't make it weird?” Jo asks slowly. She knows the whole ‘gay woman falls in love with her straight friend’ trope is something that happens, sometimes. She doesn't want to put Nate in that position. Nate's mouth curls into a grin. “That won't be a problem on my end, honey.”
Jo gets broken up with by her shitty boyfriend. Nate makes her feel better. (Or: The fic where dirtbag lesbian Nate fucks her straight bestie Jo)
(click here to read)
possibly part of a series but I'm only one woman with a metric fuckton of WIPs and ideas, so who knows! pretty sure @droumack would kill me if I don't eventually post a sequel tho
#natejo#hockey rpf#fic updates#fic: finger on her trigger#mean dyke nate came to me in a dream and told me to write this#also ftr i am putting straight in HEAVY quotes
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
does anyone want a depression banger fic
#jean kirstein x reader#jean kirschstein x reader#jean kirstein#jean kirstein x you#lmao i am. Not Okay.#ill have to put so many trigger warnings on this fic. insane.#anyway!#fireflys rambles
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
@ people running various ship tournaments on here: you know that if you hate reylo, you can choose not to include it right
#tumblr has thrown me so many brackets with people shitting on reylo but still putting it in and like ???#i get it everyone wants to be the ao3 fic where rey throws kylo in the trash whatever#i am just continually astounded that the most vanilla enemies to lovers ship out there triggers THIS level of rage in people#*three years after the movies finished*
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
wow!!! nothing better than watching your AO3 subscribers stat go down every time you post a new chapter of your current fic!!!
#/sarcastic btw. i am. Not happy about this recent development#Seven.txt#writing stuff#ao3#like. don't get me wrong i do understand why and i can't fault anyone and i'm not like.. Mad. but it does hurt a lil#but alas. tis the nature of creating and posting things. not everything's gonna be received well and that's fine#it does suck to see a fic i put so much time and effort and love and part of myself into flopping so hard#not because i wrote it for anyone's sake other than my own#but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want people to enjoy the things i create. that's like. a normal and common desire#and i think i maybe killed it before it could get going with how i tagged it and the bigass disclaimer at the beginning#i think those turn a lot of ppl off that might otherwise read and maybe even find that they enjoy it??#but i would rather over-warn ppl for the triggering and non-canon aspects than under-warn them and potentially trigger or upset someone#and i can't blame ppl that subscribed for some Other thing when they open their email and see a notif that i posted smthn#and it's a mile of upsetting/negative sounding tags for a fic abt a guy they either don't know or don't wanna see mischaracterized#and so of course they unsub and that's okay. it's okay.#anyways. enough bitching abt my fic not doing well. i don't have much room to complain!#most of my stuff is fairly well received imo. so i can stand to have a flop fic every once in a while. gotta balance things out lmao#the good thing is it's already fully written so the lack of engagement can't stop me!! there's no motivation to kill! it's done already!#anyways. i'll post a chapter a day as planned and then it'll be out of my system in a week and i can post other stuff again finally#next up will be an [N]MbD oneshot. then i'll finally post the Dew Ghost Band OCD fic. then another [N]MbD oneshot ehehe#and thennn ES Ch.5! fucking finally. i can't wait to continue that story#the Dew fic is a oneshot too btw. once AEIWNF is fully posted then the only multi-chapter project i'll have is ES. and that's Enough
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
y'all, if you don't even like the premise of a fic, never mind its content, and you possess the ability to scroll past it, you should probably just...do that. instead of putting authors on blast for writing a thing you don't agree with.
#like what is your life like if you get you so bent out of shape over something someone wrote about people who are...not real#i scroll past shit that i don't like/doesn't interest me/disagree with literally daily it's not that hard#the only time i've ever gotten this mad at a fic it was for untagged drugging and subsequent non-con#and even then i didn't put the author on blast i was just like - hey this thing exists heads up to anyone who may be triggered by it#you can be mad about things and disagree with things and not be an asshole about it it's really very simple#you're absolutely allowed to not like the content of a fic - be it characterization or plot points or whatever#what's not okay is being really fucking rude to the people who create the content you disagree with#am i just a crotchety fandom old at this point? who knows. i don't care.#also not allowing reblogs because i'm not interested in discourse. i'm airing a grievance and moving on.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I never had an rp blog back when those were super popular on here but last night i was like “hm what if i made an rp blog for like if charlie spring was on edblr” bc he does canonically have tumblr and lets be real he’d probably be on this side esp when he was doing poorly. But i don’t know the first thing about having an rp blog and it might feel weird making one of a fictional character esp if said character was 13 (bc i’d be starting around when he got outed which was around a year before the comic/show started) so idk, would that be something anyone wants to see? Does anybody even make rp blogs anymore? I’d be like genuinely worried that someone wouldn’t know it was an rp blog and think there was an actual 13 year old on here having a terrible time in life/if anyone found out it was an rp blog and decided to purposely misinterpret it as a 25 year old catfishing minors or something i really wouldn’t want that.
#really i just want to project onto charlie on here bc i am writing a few vent fics but this would be easier and more immediate#i mean not that setting up an entire rp blog would be easier but yk#i also want to find someone to beta read my fics when i’m done with them. bonus points if they’re british so i can have accuracy in my fics#edblr what do y’all think?#edblr#i’m not gonna put this in hs tags bc i don’t want fans coming onto this side of tumblr and getting triggered or reporting anyone
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Don't mind me I'm giving myself therapy in the tags
#pan.txt#why can i like the idea of a particular ship dynamic in my head and then get triggered by it if i read someone else take on it#WHY CAN FAN WORKS TRIGGER ME FULL STOP absolute bizzare i don't get it#torn between doing exposure therapy for it and ir just Not Engaging bc like fucks sake dude why put urself through it#but idk!!!! it could be a good way of working through some of my hang ups#just very odd#i suppose it triggers me bc thinking about blorbos in my head is like the Safest Space#so when i see something that makes me feel Bad with them in it's almost like. anxiety twice over#i saw something that makes me feel gross that actively involves something that usually makes me feel happy#it's so odd bc it really is a Uniquely upsetting experience. i feel like it's somehow tapping into my ocd tendencies#i feel like it's somehow. some kind of creative insecurity#it is specifically fanfic that does it most frequently#and i'm kinda uncovering in therapy that i have a massive complex about the grand concept and contents of my stories being 'lesser' somehow#i feel bad that i 1) can't enjoy other peoples fics just bc it doesn't appeal directly to my tastes#2) feel bad about this at all?? like this is a bizarre thing to get upset about#but also like. what good am i doing getting worked up about a trigger?? i'm allowed to get triggered by Anything#anxiety is not logical or empathetic or academic#it's something i'd like to try to overcome#bc somehow. this feeling is connected to my inability to share my writing i can feel it#but right now i need to do something else or this is gonna turn into a compulsive thought loop lol
0 notes
Text
...
#i miss writing#i have been SO stressed and writing was the only outlet i had#but i don't feel comfortable sharing my fic anymore#and it's just put such a damper on my ability to write in general because the idea of it just triggers anxiety now#after all the bullshit in this fandom#and now i just feel like i don't have anywhere for all this stress to go and i am SO tired 😣#911 negativity#i guess#i don't know#personal#will probably delete later
0 notes
Text
Achievement unlocked: How did we get here? Attempt to write a lil fic abt a fave duo, end up with unhinged shit instead
#//Ok I’m exaggerating kinda#//That not the WHOLE of it; just a brief part where they’re reconnecting/bonding again. Thats more like#//‘a character admits he’s too possessive to let the other be devoured by monsters; he’d rather burn them both alive with his own flames so#they’d die together w their frequencies too distorted to be absorbed. & the other being TOO damn into it admits how romantic he finds it’#//WHOOPS#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Yknow I though j|yantef| was gonna make this angst bittersweet and wholesome#//Uh NOPE#//I mean it was; and then it escalated Quickly#//Top ten reasons I am glad I don’t write M0rtef| hdbfb#//At least the fic has a hopeful ending? jdhdb#//Damn almost forgot to trigger tag. wtf do I put there#death mention tw#suicide mention tw#//I mean dual; but yeah#//Its not TERRIBLY unhinged tho I think; could have been Much Worse#//But still I find it so funny THATS the route it went to
0 notes
Text
So I edited like 40 pages today and I might have gone overboard
Also brainstormed ideas for a fic and am now nearing the edge of an anxiety atack.
#Note to self PUT LIMITS ON HOW MUCH YOU DO#I think this might be why#I am calming down now though so perhaps I didn't go to far#Or perhaps I'm just worried about betaing and the next fic?#Love the autistic feeling of trying to figure out what is triggering the bad emotions#likley gonna do some break stuff? DUNNO#I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED WHEN THE EMOTIONAL EXCAUSTION STARTED#writing fanfiction
0 notes
Text
I'm sooo sleepy and the brainrot is still strong and does someone want me to play with their hair
#i don't really like having my hair played with#like it's meh#doing it myself is fun but it's because i have uuh scabs on there so i can scratch at those#but playing with someone's hair when they like it? fun. very fun#i have pillows. i'll put one on my lap and you can put your head on it and i'll do scritches#if i were a character i would love to have my hair pulled in fics#it's long and. well. long#and people love writing long haired characters as having orgasmic reactions to havung their hair touched#having i can't type i'm sleepy. eepy...#but my hair's really pretty like. eh. not that important. it's pretty but you're not going to get much fun there.#i wish i were a fanfic character on a weird kink hair trigger or something sometimes. and then i live my life and i don't actually#we went biking with my dad for like an hour this afternoon and i'm so tired#if someone wants to talk i am also here#wow i have a ramble tag now
0 notes