#I am not even into this band
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LANXESS arena, Cologne
#lanxess arena#cologne#I am not even into this band#but my best friend asked me to come with her#and those shots are pretty cool... so I wanted to share them with you#it felt so unreal after the last two years#I was one of the few with a mask#j talks#my pictures#personal
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gibby sketch for this and additional doodles below
#art#hylics#hylics gibby#i haven't even finished the game what am i doing#this fucking worm scared me so bad the first time i saw him and with my battle strategy of being a potted plant he's impossible to beat#also i need to get this off my chest but when i draw i usually listen to the music that in my head associates with whatever thing i draw so#when i draw hylics i listen to caravan palace and it got to the point i hear this band i immediately think ah yes hylics ost
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i love swiss ghoul bc he's rly just a ghoul and his tambourine against the world
#i am so autistic it's not even funny#i am incapable of liking things a normal amount#swiss ghoul#the band ghost#nameless ghouls#swiss ghoul ate my gender like a feral cat in front of me and i've never been the same#ghost#shitghosting
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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i talked about it a little bit already but i have things to say about it. for context, i was born with amniotic band syndrome. the amniotic band wrapped around my left wrist in utero and stunted the growth of my hand. i was born with about half a palm, four nubs for fingers, and a twisted half of a thumb. i can open and close my thumb and pinkie joint like a claw.
yesterday at work i had a shift in the room with 5-10 year old kids. i had my left hand hidden in my sleeve (a bad habit of mine). a kid asked if he could see my hand, and even though internally i was debating running into traffic, i said “sure you can” and showed him my hands. he stared for a moment, looking disturbed, and then said “i don’t want to look at that anymore”. that hurt to hear, but i understand that kids are new to the world and he probably didn’t mean it out of malice. i put my hand away again, told him that it was okay, and that i was just born that way.
he then went on to talk about how he knows a kid with a similar hand to mine and called it “ugly”. i told him that wasn’t a very kind thing to say and that he wouldn’t feel good if someone said that to him, and he replied that no one would say that to him—because he has “normal hands”, and he’s glad he does because otherwise he’d be “ugly”. i tried to talk with him for a bit about how everybody is born differently, but he just started talking about a girl he knows with a “messed up face” and pulled on his face to make it look droopy. i went on some more about how it wasn’t very kind to talk about people that way, but the conversation moved on to something else.
i’ve told my supervisors about it and they’re going to have a talk with his mom. what i wanted to say is this: i’m genuinely not upset with the kid. kids are young and naturally curious, and he clearly simply hasn’t been taught about disabled people and kind ways to speak to/about others. which is why i am upset with his parent(s). i know he’s encountered visibly deformed/disabled people before (he said so himself!), yet his parent(s) clearly haven’t had any kind of discussion with him about proper language and behavior. i knew from birth that some people were just different than others, but my parents still made a point to assert to be kind to and accepting of others. i wonder if adults in his life are the type of people to hush him and usher him away when he points out someone in a wheelchair. that kind of thing doesn’t teach politeness. it tells children that disabled people are an Other than can’t be acknowledged or spoken about; which, to a child, means disability must be something bad.
i’m lucky enough that this was a relatively mild incident, and that i’m a grownup with thicker skin. i’m worried about the other kids he mentioned to me. has he been talking to them this way? when i was a kid, i had other kids scream, cry, and run away at the sight of my hand. or follow me around pointing at me and laughing at me. or tell me i couldn’t do something because i was ugly or incapable or whatever. one time a girl at an arcade climbed to the top of the skeeball machine, pointed at me, and screamed at me to put my hand away and wouldn’t stop crying until she couldn’t see me anymore. another time, a kid saw my hand, screamed at the top of her lungs, and ran into my friend’s arms, crying hysterically about how i was scaring her. that second incident made me cry so hard i threw up when i got home. i can kind of laugh it off now, but having people react to me that way as a child is something i’m still getting over. why do you think i have a habit of keeping my hand in my sleeve? it just irritates me to see children that have clearly not been taught basic manners and kindness—their parents Clearly missed something pretty important .
#and for the record i consider my deformity pretty mild. maybe i’m just used to it but things like amniotic band syndrome can turn out a lot#more severe. i rarely even call myself disabled because i don’t feel like the term is applicable to me. i’m more hindered by like#my adhd anxiety depression etc than i am my hand. so for those kids to react that way to what i THINK#is a pretty small thing. makes me worry about people that are more visibly disabled#Kids.That are more visibly disabled
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fallen star, good enough for me
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#in stars and time siffrin#isat fanart#fanart#illustration#digital art#artists on tumblr#hi as of writing it is currently 2:47 AM and i genuinely cannot sleep because im thinking about this damn game#waiter! waiter! more art to apply my favourite band to please !!#isat spoilers#I DREW THIS BEFORE I GOT THE EXTENDED ENDING WHICH IS WHY IT WASNT SPOILER TAGGED BEFORE IM SO SORRY#I DIDNT EVEN KNOW LMFAOOOOOOO I JUST GOT THE IMAGE OF THE DRAWING IN MY BRAIN IM SORRY
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polymer broadcast signal hijack
#pikmin#captain olimar#ft. louie captain shepherd and collin#as well as#moss (pikmin)#watched a stream series of pikmin 4 (its frankenbugs' series) thats what this is about really#but mostly. I just love olimar. I just really enjoy that man#also this really got me flexing those bande dessinée muscles from back thens lol#Ive missed drawin with this kinda proportions... I should do it more#Im gonna draw an olimar to put in my wallet. I need to make my life harder to explain to strangers#I also wanna. add more details to his space suit. make it look more like real life space suit for fun & entertainment#man I enjoy the animals in pikmin so much. they really are just like. animals. theyre animals#its great I love how genuinely bug-lookin the bugs are even with the stylization. pikmin and pokemon are really good at that#would like to learn how to do that... sometimes in the future#oh yeah fun fact. my effort at cleaning up my undercut a few days ago went badly. right before I went to a family reunion thing for 2 days#so I was goin out of my mind at that event postin abt olimar bc I love him#and then. when I got home. I decided to shave my head instead of trying to fix the haircut again#and so the sequence of events becomes I post about olimar -> I enter my bald arc#I am okay with this. have a good night lads. binding books is actually really fun u should try it
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i need to be sedated.
#THE POINT DOWN???#lord i am FERAL#i need him so bad its not even funny#video credit to diamondzinthetreez on insta#sleep token#sleep token band#iv sleep token#sleep token iv#iv
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My jewish community, friends, rabbi, and educators: We are very invested in helping you be jewish. Do you want to help read the haftarah? Here's a chanukiah! You can have it!! Borrow these books! Here's some books! You need more books... Come to pesach! Come to the chanukah party! When are your classes done? We need a minyan for once!
Me and my 50000 IQ: What if I am Secretly Appropriating judaism? What if I am doing a Cultural Appropriation........
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#there comes a point where your concerns about if you are an Appropriative Cultural Appropriator hinders your jewish journey#i think a comforting thing is knowing that my incessant fear about this is confirmation that i love judaism#i love it with my heart and soul and (i feel) i'd be a less realized person without it#and i think people who genuinely engage in cultural appropriation just Do Not Care about the cultures they appropriate from#they don't love the culture enough to respect it and that is a big reason that it even IS appropriation#especially when jewish people are INVITING you to do things... it's not appropriation#i dunno last night i was feeling very anxious about lighting the chanukiah candles because i'm alone#but i've also lit shabbos candles. and it's just like... why would i choose not to engage in this when one day i will have to?#this time next year i will have to light candles. as a jew. and if i have no clue how to do it myself then i'll just avoid it#plus... i love my chanukiah and i want to use it. it is currently decorating my room because i love it#i hope they'll let me take pictures of all the chanukiah that'll be at the party#i'm sure they will because they're very open and they are very accommodating. in fact i'm bringing my clarinet too#i haven't touched that thing in well over four years 😭#but jewish music without a clarinet is like a body with no soul. it's impossible. it is not what g-d wants i think.#i just hope my ability to play by ear hasn't been affected by my lack of playing. i don't have perfect pitch tbc#but i fully believe you can know your instrument so well that you develop an ear for perfect pitch#in fact... i refused to memorize my marching band music because i DID develop that 'perfect pitch' ear. that's my dirty secret#i didn't practice in part because i can't have a space where noone could hear me practice and it's embarrassing and private to me#literally EVERY jew in my life has been almost TOO ecstatic about my jewish journey. i'm very thankful for it#i guess i just didn't think i deserved to have people as happy about me being in judaism as i am#so to be clear this is my brain being rude and dumb. this anxiety has NEVER been reinforced by anyone but myself#so i take full responsibility for it. but i think that anxiety is something many/most converts/jews-in-progress feel
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girl help I'm getting attached to my overly specific Trolls headcanons
#my art#dreamworks trolls#trolls band together#trolls viva#trolls john dory#are these two a thing?? am i the only one shipping these two??#what would their ship name even be?? Jiva??#anyway. mutual eldest sibling syndrome babeeyyyyyy
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Papa's speech in São Paulo, Brasil, 20/09/2023 video by douglaskurt on ig
#i'm just gonna leave this here before going to bed#these are literally not the best#the coloring is a mess and lighting isn't great#but for the first time i don't mind cause i'm finally giffing a video of ghost playing in my country 🥺🖤✨#and this makes me so happy#even though i don't live there anymore#brazilian ghesties how are we?#the band ghost#ghost band#ghost bc#papa emeritus iv#copia#popia#papa iv#papa 4#my gifs#also it's 2h30 am so if i mispelled something no i didn't hehehe
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Meet us at the Bus Stop~!
# a d (/s for joja)
#stardew valley#stardew valley sam#stardew valley sebastian#stardew valley abigail#stardew sam#stardew sebastian#stardew abgail#sdv sam#sdv sebastian#sdv abigail#totes a joja cola ad#sam finally getting that sponsorship#lmao#even his skateboard is sponsored#i promised band posters and i shall deliver#i’ll probably make more of these cause they’re my lil brain rot#boi am i also so tempted to upgrade the fashion series#cause i had so much fun drawing sebatian’s pants#also in my lil delulu sam ‘accidentally’ poured bleach on all his clothes once#and now jodi doesnt trust him to do laundry…pfft#also abi keeps eating her crystal necklaces#and i love making the ASS gang lowkey6 matchy matchy with the piercings#cause you bet they DIY-ed it themselves#with maybe a lil help from Emily#cause we know they probs got an infection#leave me a lone i have lots of delulu ideas about their wardrobe ok TT A TT#its fall/rainy season and yet heres a belated summer music festival vibe#why is this flagged for mature? 😭😭😭#is it because i made seb hit the zaza?
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A bit late but Halloween Lucifaces!!
#the green staff is 100% because Lucifer's green socks haunting me from the band AU art.#lucifer#lucio#Lucilius#Lucifer gbf#granblue fantasy#gbf#Lucio granblue fantasy#you honor i love them all three#i do plan to make these stickers or something but i've not found a manu that can do exactly what i want for these#aka selective glow in the dark instead the whole sticker#I did find one but they had their orders closed since sept and it was even the perfect blue glow!!!!!!!!#so yeah any recs are welcome but i specifically am searching for only selective glow in the dark!!!
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His military outfit please.
#the military jacket is even worse#If i ever see someone cosplaying that outfit i am going to fuck them.#i‘d suck a dick or eat pussy idk if you are man or woman#and i mean that i am going to seduce them.. or just ask if we can have sex right on the spot#the last one is my fav because of his cake and cute lil kick#ghost band#ghost#papa emeritus#tobias forge#ghesties#myedit#ghost sweden#papa emeritus iv#copia#the band ghost#ghost bc
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the strokes: in transit - 2001 tour (2004)
transcript:
unknown: oh, here's the gun.
fab, to julian: (dramatic voice) where'd you go, man, where'd you go, motherfucker? where'd you [inaudible], motherfucker?
julian: (crosstalk) kill me!
ryan: (crosstalk) hey guys, [inaudible] hey- rosemary has kids and stuff so she needs to go home.
fab: oh, shit. (to ryan, in a dramatic voice) yo, i don't like that mouth, man, i don't like how you run that mouth.
julian: (crosstalk) [inaudible] what about my kids?
julian: what about my fucking kids, ryan? what about little fabrizio? he hasn't eaten in three hours. (turns and slaps fab) shut up! don't do that (breaks off into laughter)
nick, off-screen: what're you filming, man?
/end transcript
#bands#the strokes#julian casablancas#fab moretti#ryan gentles#iti era#in transit#julfab#my transcript#not even joking when i say i must have watched this clip at least thirty times#probably more#going frame by frame on fab flinching because i am the most normal man alive#i was telling my irls abt this clip once and pulled it up to show them and they were like why do you just have it on hand in your photos ap
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Sorry if im not active that much at the moment. School is beating me to oblivion (I'm srsly drowning in school work)
Have this very old sketch of Beyond Reach Branch and JD.
JD is probably giving him like-- dad advice or something. Branch's just wants to hang out lol
#I currently have 6 projects to finisb#3 of them are documentary (which took FOREVER to film)#1 of them is my upcoming Defense#and the last 2 are just ordinary school projects (like passing a portfolio and making a certificate design)#so in summary--#im overworked#damn guys I'm not even in college yet but it feels like I am#endlessrambles#endlessrant#bleh might delete this later? odk#trolls#john dory#trolls au#trolls john dory#branch trolls#trolls branch#trolls band together#trolls 3#dreamworks trolls#Beyond Reach au#BR!JD#BR!Branch
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