#I am not a tyke or an ankle biter | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

freckleslikestars · 2 years ago

Text

Plan B

Farscape fic, A Human Reaction missing scene - John and Aeryn talk about last night.

777 words, read here on AO3

‘Aeryn, last night-‘

‘Was last night,’ she sighed, adjusting the cardigan around her shoulders once again. It was too hot on this frelling planet without the rain, and her skin was starting to prickle. ‘We really don’t need to talk about it anymore.’ Why he had to keep bringing it up, she didn’t know. It was recreation, plain and simple – blowing off steam and relieving pressure. They’d settled a mutual need for release. She’d have been happy to do so with any of their fellow companions – well, maybe not Rygel. And, on second thought, D’Argo wouldn’t be top of her list. But Zhaan, Zhaan wouldn’t be such a bad companion for recreation, nor would Chiana – though she wasn’t overly fond of thinking about where the tralk had been before.

‘We do.’

Rolling her eyes, she turned on her heel, stopped him in his tracks, ‘Crichton, you were emotional; we’d just lost Rygel and D’Argo; it was recreation, that’s-‘

‘We didn’t use protection.’

Protection? Her forebrow twitched in confusion, and she darted her eyes to the left and right, checking their surroundings. She lowered her voice, ‘what protection?’

‘Y’know, like...condoms?’ he searched her gaze, and she stared back blankly, uncomprehending. ‘You don’t have condoms, right,’ he chuffed a laugh and shook his head, brushing past her and heading towards the centre of town. ‘They’re, uh, protection from diseases – venereal diseases.’

She scoffed, ‘you think I am diseased?’

‘No, that’s not what I’m-’

‘Oh, so you are the diseased one?’

‘What? No!’ people turned to look at his outburst, and they hurried on, ducking their heads as they dropped back to harried whispers, ‘No, I got a clean bill of health from IASA before I left.’

‘Then there’s nothing to worry about.’

He groaned, adopting the tone of a sarcastic educator, ‘well, Aeryn, condoms don’t just protect from disease.’ She shook her head, face blank. ‘They’re birth control, Aeryn. They prevent pregnancy.’

‘Pregnancy?’

‘Yeah. I assume you don’t have any plans to be dragging a little ankle-biter around behind you?’

‘Ankle-‘

‘Yeah: sprog, nipper, brat, munchkin, rug-rat, tyke, small-fry, spawn, sprat, baby, Aeryn. You want a baby?’

‘No, but-‘

‘Maybe we should swing by a pharmacy, get you Plan B-‘

‘Plan- wait, John, stop,’ she grasped his wrist, yanking him to a stop and turning him to face her, ‘what are you so worried about?’

‘Don’t they teach this in PK sex-ed? It only takes one time, and you’re whole life changes.’ She cocked her head to the side, shaking it slightly, brow creased in confusion and he growled in frustration. ‘Let me spell it out, break it down for you: sex makes babies. Unless you want to be dragging a kid around behind us, we need to get you some emergency contraception.’ She gave him a look, one that clearly showed how insane she thought he was. ‘What?’

‘I...don’t think that’s necessary. I’ve never needed protection for recreation before.’

‘Wait, hold up, you’re saying...what are you saying? That you’re on some form of birth control already? Or is it that male peacekeepers are the ones who take the precautions?’

‘I don’t know. I guess I’d never really spent much time considering that recreation would lead to offspring. It doesn’t exactly happen all the time on a command carrier.’

It was John’s turn to be flummoxed as he stared at her, stunned, ‘hold up, how do you produce offspring on a command carrier then?’

‘Well, it’s never happened to me, but when you’re selected to be put on a breeding cycle, they...we were told it’s like an injection – we get injections every seven cycles: anti-radiation, immune boosters, a whole battery of things. I guess there’s one that triggers pregnancy. I’ve never really looked into it. Questions weren’t ever exactly welcome.’

He nodded slowly, ‘sounds like IVF. In vitro fertilisation. We do it here on earth sometimes, too. Presumably, one of those shots they give you is a long-term contraceptive.’

‘Guess so,’ she shrugged.

‘When was the last time you got yours?’

‘Maybe three cycles ago.’

His shoulders relaxed somewhat, and he nodded, ‘okay, okay. Right. Good.’ He started walking again, and she followed, about to ask if they could find a shadier route to wherever they were headed, or at least get some cold water from somewhere, when he spoke again, ‘and, I mean, we’re different species. We probably can’t even reproduce anyway, right? No need to worry.’

‘Hm. No need to worry...’ her voice trailed off as her gaze darted from side to side, her attention back on her surroundings, ‘John, why is everyone looking at me?’

‘It’s ‘cause they think you look good.’

A/N: Plan B wasn’t released until July 1999, four months after the pilot aired, so john wouldn’t actually know what it is, but let’s all suspend our disbelief for half a second and imagine he does, okay? Added to this, emergency contraception wasn’t available over the counter in Australia until January 1st 2004. Let’s just forget that fact for a little bit, why don’t we?

#my writing #farscape #farscape fanfic #john x aeryn #john crichton #aeryn sun #a human reaction #cause im a sucker for morning after and about last night conversations #ficlet

2 notes · View notes