#I am not a one-trick pony I am a TWO-trick pony

[skunts-own-truth]

What would I like to see? I’d like to see my man, my good time boy, Graham “the Reflection Crack’d” McNiell be able to write anything, and I mean ANYTHING that comes to mind. Let it flow, Graham, let it all spill out across the pages and bring us where we need to go, is what I say.

Long ago, my wife and I made a joke that Chris Wraight, one of the best, wrote all of his Black Library novels filled to the brim with romance and hard porn but it would always be edited out before publication. Seriously, the man’s choice of words can be blisteringly erotic during any scene. It’s incredible. He could be writing about Leman Russ running down a hallway and you’re just like 👀 “he gonna fuck that ship? What’s up?” Or, that one time he had an Interrogator of the Inquisition feed a grape to one of her house serfs all kinky-like. Wonderful stuff. Give him the floor. Let him work.

ADB is fine. I’d be a little miffed if he got to do it and no one else touched the concept of Warhammer Romance; because he is a bit of a one trick pony, and I can already imagine exactly what it’d look like from him… but at least you know the prose would be pretty solid. I’d read it, but gosh I’d feel cheated.

Honestly, I’d say it would be fantastic to get some new blood. As much as I love McNeill and Wraight, and the others, let’s get some ROMANCE novel writers in here. Give me some dime-store harlequin romance writers, what are writing books about dreamy cowboys taking the hand of a lonely middle aged real estate agent, and give them 40K. Let’s see what they do. Let’s see what they get up to with the setting. Can’t tell you if it’d be good, but I’d sure as shoot read it.

That, and some of it has got to be gross. Get some horror writers in there. Make some books in the Romance line fantastic romances… but this is Warhammer, we gotta get gross sometimes. If we ain’t writing books about two characters falling in love, plunged into a nightmare where their emotions are Warp blasted and fueled to torture them and have them bubble together in hellish body-horror kinda situations, then brother, what are we doin’ with this? Give me two Chaos Space Marines that have become obsessed with each other become entangled by the spinal cord and slowly become something like a fucked up two headed Hellbrute, or something. You can do a lot with Chaos. Love and lust are powerful emotions that all flavors of Chaos could easily manipulate into working their way, and I waaanna see it!

I’d also like Guy Haley to continue his Warhammer Crime series, he was sorta leaning towards a romance plot between a hive city cop and a mechanicus investigator, and it was pretty damn fun! I wanted to see where it would go, so I do hope they let him get another book out. Warhammer Crime and Warhammer Horror both had a touch more spice to them than the average 40k books, so I’m sad to see they haven’t really put out another book in those lines in a while. I ate them uuuup.

Whatever they give us, if we ever get Warhammer Romance, woo boy am I gonna be reading it. No doubt about that.

Been digging into Battletech fiction, and while I have read many tie-in novels in my teenage years, the Black Library and reading the entire damn Horus Heresy to the end has absolutely skewed the level of quality I expect from a book about funny plastic fellas on a table… the writing in the Battletech books I’ve read ain’t as good, sure, but you know where Battletech has absolutely just defeated 40k and the Black Library to me? It’s their willingness to make THIS:

I have been making jokes for years about BL making a Warhammer Romance line of steamy kissy books, but look what we have here! A tabletop war game with a romance book, featuring some shirtless hunk right on the cover. Now that’s grace! That is poise!

Until the Black Library catches up to this, my friends, Battletech is just winning.

[silverhalla]

wicked game by chris Isaak goes ON the Lucanis smoocher playlist

[trkstrnd]

me: *staring lovingly at my computer*

my mom: *walking in* you watching lone star?

[benetnvsch]

oh g-d forgor how hard the actual animating part of animating is oughrh *explodes*

[belabellissima]

wait i have a question that most definitely is not about me and my endless wips what are you talking about?

[luludeluluramblings]

So if Conner is the baby daddy does that mean Lex Luthor is the grandfather too considering Conner is a clone of him and superman? Cause wow the family reunion is gonna be wild. But it would be even more hilarious if Lex figured out everything first and just started paying for all of readers appointments and started sending gifts.

Lex really becomes like a secret sugar daddy cause Conner doesn't realize he got his one night stand pregnant.

Wait no what if Bruce starts thinking Lex is the baby daddy cause of all the gifts. He's gonna have a full blown stroke thinking his innocent baby ended up with Lex Luthor. 😂😂😂

Then after some confrontation Lex is like no my irresponsible clone son got your daughter pregnant not me!

Bruce then is relived (kinda) but now Tim just can't believe Conner knocked up his sister.

Conner hears about this from Tim (sad Conner figures it out last) and is like 😦 then is like welp guess I'm a dad now 💯 ready to be a father. Time to take reader and the baby to live on a farm away from her neglectful family.

If this happen, the sheer relief Bruce will have from the Daddy not being Lex will make Conner seem like the absolute best option out of all the canidates.

Also, bet Lex wouldn't even tell Bruce it was Conner. He's probably play it up as some psychological trick to mess with Bruce. Oh, you think I'm the father. I most certainly am not, but clearly you're a failure as one to not even notice your own child is *exact number of days* pregnant with *baby's gender*.

Lex would mostly be doing this to get a head start on Superman though. Gonna out grandpa him before he even realizes it. (But, in a completely crack way this creates and unholy alliance between Lex and Lois.)

Also, that baby will have THREE grandpas! Two of them being rich AF. Kids gonna have a damn pony. Maybe even a damn dinosaur.

I like the idea of Conner finding out last, though. That sounds fun. I also think he's make a great dad. Like he'd be panicking, but he'd be just so excited to be a dad. He wouldn't whisk Reader away to a farm right away though. He'd wait until the baby pops out and then he goes nuts.

[tashism]

bartender!patrick…

you’ve both been working at this disgustingly pretentious restaurant for longer than you’d like to admit. it’s got a tank of live lobsters and some ugly water feature for people to marvel at and servers to get misted with every time they walk by — you both hate it, but not as much as you hate each other. patrick belongs there. he’s loud and cocky and loves flirting with rich moms. he’s got the same five mixer tricks that he’s been using for years, but no one ever gets tired of him and those dimples. it makes you nauseous. you’re a waitress, not that bussing tables is exactly your passion, but it keeps a roof over your head. professional and polite and reserved — he hates all of that about you. he hates how you scowl at him when he makes too big of a scene behind the bar, he hates that you turn your nose up at everything he does, and he hates how good your ass looks in those black slacks.

“c’mon, just one shot” this is your least favorite part of closing together; everything is a game to him. you want to wipe down the tables, sweep the floor, and get the fuck out. patrick, on the other hand, seems all too eager to get you to loosen up. whatever, it’s just one shot. that is until one shot turns into four and you end up on the bar with his body slotted between your legs. “do you always have to be so fucking annoying?” you pant, your fingers working sloppily to undo the buttons of his shirt. “do you always have to be so uptight” he retorts, his mouth stuck to your neck like a fucking vampire. his fingers are digging into your skin like a lifeline, all the anger and resentment bubbling up and flowing out of the two of you — the only right way to take it out is on each other.

one more shot and you’re back on the floor, bent over the bar, and grasping at the sleek stone for dear life. his hand is wrapped around your throat — god, how he wishes it was tangled in your hair, but you only ever come to work in those stupid little pony tails. “you this much of a whore for all the guys here?” he grunts, his eyes trained on your cunt, how greedy you are for him, how you’re dripping onto the floor. “or am i special?”. a part of you wants to make him feel special, wants to tell him that you get off to the idea of this all the time, but you refuse to give him the satisfaction. “i fucking hate you” the words are punctuated by his thrusts, the sound of skin slapping skin starting to flood the dim restaurant. “oh fuck, say it again” and you do. you say it over and over until your insults are mixed with pleas for him to let you cum.

in true patrick fashion, he doesn’t. he pulls out and cums on your pussy, watching you clench around nothing. he admires his work, how red your skin is, how wet you got, how you’re pressing back into him like he’ll do anything else for you. he laughs at your neediness before leaning down to kiss the middle of your back, his hand patting at your thigh.

“you should finish wiping the tables down… and don’t forget to mop back here”

[deantfwinchester]

Love Me Right

Part 1: Henrietta’s

Pairing: ConstructionCEO!Joel x Waitress!Reader

She's eventually gonna be a teacher again bc let's be real, i'm a one-trick pony.

This is a Millionaire Joel AU x Most Eligible Bachelor Trope

Summary: Joel Miller, CEO and Co-Founder of Miller Construction, hasn't been dealing with an Empty Nest very well. His family and friends have tried their best to cheer him up since Sarah left for college in the fall, but the storm cloud above his head remains. On top of that (or perhaps because of it), he has just been named one of Austin's Most Eligible Bachelors.

What will that mean for the new-in-town waitress he meets in his favorite diner? As far as she knows, he's just an average contractor.

Warnings: age gap (reader late 20s, Joel late 40s); family-centered trauma and conflict; lethal levels of fluff otw

A/N: Bear with me for this one y'all. My imagination is ambitious and my brain is obstinate. Title inspired by Sabrina Carpenter’s Short ‘n Sweet - bc i can’t stop fckn listening to Juno 🫣

Word Count: 4.6k

_______________________________________________

“Tommy, there ain’t a chance in hell that’s gonna happen. Why on earth did you bring this to me?”

“Well they talked to Joanna at the front desk first. She said wasn’t going to bring it up to you, but I couldn’t just let it slide,” Tommy raises his eyebrows at Joel, shooting him a mischievous look. “Because one - I wasn’t gonna pass up the chance to see this look on your face, and two - would a little publicity be so bad?”

“Who in their right mind is gonna choose a fuckin contractor from the goddamn ‘society pages’?” Joel bristles at his brother’s amusement with an unwavering scowl.

Tommy stares right back, but the playful nature of his expression is unmarred. “Most men won’t Joel - but their wives will.” Tommy’s salacious grin is damn near wider than Joel’s ever seen. Christ, he’s loving this.

“You gotta be kiddin’ me,” Joel says plainly, rolling his eyes.

“Come on brother, think about it - plenty of busy men in this city with bored housewives in need of a project. He tosses her a few thousand to redo the dining room - well who’s gonna do the job? She hasn’t got a clue where to begin and then BOOM! She sees the list of Austin’s Most Eligible Bachelors in the paper - where she finds a photo of the distinguished CEO and senior founder of Miller Construction—”

“Senior, seriously?,” Joel deadpans at him. Tommy ignores him, continuing to wax poetic.

“And can’t help but wonder if the rest of his staff is as dashing as he appears to be,”

“Flattery’s cheap Tommy.”

“Of course then she meets with me and the deal is sealed.” Tommy smiles smugly now that his story is complete.

“Boy can you paint a picture,” responds Joel, rolling his eyes at his brother’s antics. “So you wanna parade me around like a two-bit hooker, huh?

“Whaddya say — can I give ‘em a call?”

“If you’re so hell-bent on ‘marketing’ why don’t you do it?” Joel says flippantly.

“Well I’m not a bachelor anymore, am I?,” he grins brightly at him. This time, it’s sincere.

“Don’t break your arm pattin' yourself on the back, Tommy. Maria mighta said yes, but there ain’t a ring on your finger yet. She’s still got a few months to wise up,” Joel challenges, his tone playful.

Tommy glares at him, but then gives a sobered nod. “You’re right about that. I know I’m a lucky fucker, and I’m not interested in testing that luck - even for a charity auction. Sorry to the dogs, or the food bank or — is it old people?”

“Hell bent on it, and don’t even know what it’s for? Christ - it’s a Make-A-Wish thing Tommy, damn,” Joel replies, looking bewildered at his brother’s callous and cavalier response.

“And isn’t your attention and concern for the bigger picture just what they need in volunteers?” Tommy retorts, expression still smug but eyes hopeful. “What, ‘s it gonna kill you to go out for once? It’ll be a formality at worst and maybe even a good time if you loosen up a bit.”

“I can think of a number of other ‘worsts’ than a formality,” Joel muses

“You’re gentleman enough to handle it just fine,” Tommy continues.

It has been quite a while since Joel’s been out of his house for much other than work or routine, and even longer since he’s been out with anyone other than Tommy, Maria, and the guys from work here and there. He’ll admit, he hasn’t been dealing with an empty nest very well. He’s done a pretty terrible job of keeping busy since he dropped Sarah off at school back in the fall. She’d gotten in exactly where she’d hoped, and made friends fast - for this he was over the moon - but he misses her like crazy. He’s been swimming back and forth in swelling pride and stabbing grief since September, ecstatic and aching all at once. He knew Tommy’s intentions were relatively pure, business interest aside. He knows they’ve been worried about him for a couple of months now - they haven’t exactly been subtle — they’d started having him over for dinner damn near once a week.

This newfound hobby of Tommy’s, cooking like a grown-up, had become the ruse en vogue for getting Joel out of his house. As Maria’s caseload grew at the law firm, Tommy wanted to make sure she had a real meal to eat when she finally got home — so he started cooking. Joel had to admit it was real sweet, watching his brother dive headfirst into learning a new skill just to take care of his bride-to-be. He claimed it only made sense with his far more flexible schedule, but Joel knew it made Tommy proud to be able to do this for her, and the very fact he wanted to made Joel proud as well.

Once Sarah left for school, however, Tommy quickly discovered his brother’s less-than-satisfactory habits of microwave dinners or forgetting to eat in general. He was a fair chef in his own right once upon a time, but without his little girl there to feed, bothering to make a balanced meal fell by the wayside. Joanna, a kindly woman in her seventies, had been one of the first to notice the change in Joel’s demeanor and the drawn nature of his features. Not much younger than the boys’ mother would be today, Joanna worked at the front desk of Miller Construction, greeting clients with a maternal warmth that, Tommy had to admit, was in part strategic. Disarm a client while they wait with a smile and you’d be able to pry open their hearts and their pockets.

Joanna was not unaware of the role she played in this game, though she did not approve. She’d informed Tommy of her concern for Joel, and the regular dinner invitations followed suit. This, accompanied with Joanna’s tugging Joel along to a nearby diner for lunch a couple of times a week in November had practically pulled Joel through the fall slump and into the new year. The holiday visits home from Sarah had helped a great deal, as well.

Joel wasn’t blind to his friends and family’s kahoots to help him through this patch. Though he sometimes grudgingly obliged to Joanna’s pestering him out the door because she hadn’t “seen you eat a bite all day. Four cups of black coffee don’t count, and you know it. Up!,” or Tommy’s employing Maria to send a text herself inviting him to dinner after he’d tried and simply received the finger, he was grateful for their efforts and care. Sarah was too, but he didn’t need to know that. Those lunchtime diner visits soon turned into breakfasts — a preemptive measure on Joanna’s part to add some time out in public to Joel’s routine of home — office — work site — home. Eventually she’d pavolv-ed him into it, and Joel was at the diner for coffee, breakfast, and one of the only physical newspapers left in existence every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at first following behind Joanna and eventually on his own.

Joanna had been with the Miller brothers since the business was far smaller, just a few years after its inception, when they started needing a receptionist/secretary/assistant, just someone who knew how to manage their slowly growing demand. She’d been a friend of their mother’s and had taken up some of the slack when she’d passed, grieving alongside her friend’s sons and looking after them in her wake. She’d been one of the only reasons Joel and Tommy had been able to build the tiny Miller Bros. into its current position as Miller Construction, multi-million-dollar contracting firm, and the largest in the Austin Metro area. Joel’s practical thinking and creativity combined with Tommy’s ambition and idealistic hopes of grandeur got them into successful meetings with investors that Joanna quietly set up via her husband’s business contacts. Their vision reminded her so much of their mother’s optimism she couldn’t help herself. She’d keep an eye on Sarah when Joel needed and ensured they were taken care of in the moments they would have needed their mother around.

As the boys’ surrogate mother figure and Sarah’s Aunt Jo, it came as no surprise that amid Joel’s season of empty-nested loneliness Joanna had begun encouraging him to “get back out there” and claimed that she “won’t be around forever” and “would like to see him settled before I go.” Classic maternal guilt-tripping, and Joel told her each time that he hears 70 is the new 50. She told him to try that again in a few years when he hits the real 50.

Truth of the matter was, Joel had been alone for a long time. He’d seen people on and off while Sarah was growing up, but it was a rare occasion, and no fling had ever lasted more than a couple of months. With Sarah at home, it never mattered much to Joel — he had someone to care for who was the best company he’d ever had right in front of him. She’d needed him a little less as she’d grown up, but he always had a purpose.

Joel was a natural-born caretaker — between brotherhood and fatherhood, he took to it like a tadpole to water. With Sarah away at school and his little brother engaged, however, he couldn’t figure out where to put all that love, and so it crackled into grief like a blackening candle wick, blooming into a flower of ash that nestled in his chest. The cloud of soot hovered around him for a while as he went through the motions of his everyday. Tommy, Maria, and Joanna all wanted to see him find his way again, as did Sarah when she received honest reports from her family members after some prodding. He always put on his biggest smile for her, never wanting her to worry, but she could see something hurting in his eyes, just below the surface.

While it may have been blatantly out of his comfort zone, Tommy and Joanna jumped at the opportunity to convince Joel when the Most Eligible Bachelors’ Auction came knocking. He needed something to disrupt his routine, with the added bonus of his coming out into the social scene like a plaid-clad debutante with a few extra crow’s feet.

After rolling the last few months’ events around in his mind for a couple of minutes while Tommy answers a phone call, Joel is broken from his reverie. Tommy’s standing in front of him again, waving a hand back and forth.

“Hey ground control - you with me?,” he asks before Joel’s eyes focus on him once again. “Can I give em a call?,” and this time Joel notices the concern in Tommy’s eyes as his joking facade flickers with hope. It’s more than just publicity, and he owes it to them to give it a shot.

Joel releases a measured sigh, relenting. “Can’t believe I’m saying this but sure, fuck it. Call ‘em back,” he says rolling his eyes, resigning himself to whatever nonsense his participation will entail. He reminds himself it’s for charity, and returns to his computer, refocusing on his work as Tommy darts out of his office to return to his own, reporting his success to Joanna along the way.

_______________________________________________

You got lucky with this job at Henrietta’s, with its flexible hours and fairly livable wage, you had time to settle into your new place and get to know the city. You spend your off days wandering around, doing research on local schools and prepping your applications for summer school and the new year.

Never had you pictured yourself leaving students mid-year, and having to do it hurt like hell. You missed the kids you left behind every day, but when a friend caught wind of an acquaintance needing a subletter for a little studio within your price range, you didn’t have much of a choice. You needed to take up the lease starting in January, or you’d be starting over at square one. It had been a long time coming, this encroaching need to run and start over somewhere new. Staying in your hometown was no longer an option — work may have been a saving grace, but the other areas of your life were suffering. You knew healing couldn’t begin without separation. You needed to be far away from everything — it was the only way you could picture trying to feel whole again. Grad school had ended the previous year, so you fled.

With each mile you put between you and your family, you started to feel like your lungs could fully inflate once again. The oppressive air of scrutiny and memory that swam around you at home dropped off piece by piece with each passing mile marker. You’d put a few states between yourself and your parents once it was all said and done, and while it was scary, starting from scratch all over again, it was invigorating. You’d done it at eighteen when you left for college, you could damn well do it again with eight years’ more life experience under your belt.

You’d walked into the diner on your second day in the city. You had some money saved up from time living at home, but knew it would dwindle quickly with rent to pay and no salary coming in on the regular. You would need something to keep busy and pay for necessities until the end of the spring semester. When Diane, the manager caught sight of you, bright-eyed and looking like a deer in headlights, she welcomed you with a warmth you’d only read about in books. She interviewed you then and there and offered you a job on the spot, waiting tables on the breakfast and lunch shifts at least four days a week. She told you your “sweet smile and wide-eyed look will do wonders for you in tips, precious!” You think it’s probably just teacher face you can’t shake, and hope she’s right — maybe it could do you some favors until you get back in the classroom where you belong.

Diane’s rounded face was accentuated with wonderfully deep crow’s feet and smile lines that suggested a lifetime of sharing this warmth, and her dark hair streaked with gray around her hairline and temples rested atop her head in a frazzled bun. She made you comfortable out the gate, and had set you up with a uniform immediately. More aptly, she handed you a t-shirt and an apron to go over your leggings. You were thankful for the relaxed dress code, knowing plenty of other establishments required a much more specific ensemble. Once you’d changed she introduced you to your shift lead, Reggie, and the line-cook-on-duty, Tony, patting you comfortingly on the shoulder and insisting they welcome you, hoping to keep you around to solve their persistent staffing issue.

While Diane was quite a bit older than you, somewhere in her mid-fifties, Reggie and Tony were younger, floating between mid-thirties and early forties, if you had to guess. Reggie was a slim black man you’d put in his thirties, and he greeted you with a smile and an exclamation that he was more than ready to gossip ad nauseum with someone so much closer to his age. He’d been the one to fill you in on Diane’s immediate taking to you, letting you know with little ambiguity that you were just a few years younger than Diane’s daughter, who had moved out of the city about a year ago, and that you favored her to boot. Reggie had called this particular gossip session your orientation.

“Don’t get me wrong honey, Diane’s a sweetheart. But never have I seen her offer a position on the spot. I think having you here may do her some good,” he’d said, before turning to fill you in on Tony the line cook. “Yeah Tony’s hot, but he chain smokes like a chimney and doesn’t care at all when I ask him to keep his second hand smoke to himself on the days I have a performance!,” he shouted pointedly at Tony, who only looked up long enough to give Reggie the finger and wink at you. Tony was a muscular Italian guy in his forties with tattoos of a sort that didn’t quite match up with the gold chain and cross pendant hanging around his neck. When your eyes went wide at the wink, Reggie giggled a bit and leaned toward you. “Don’t worry, Tony’s a little sleazy but harmless. He’ll hit on anything in a skirt, but as soon as you tell him you aren’t interested he’ll back off and won’t bring it up again. He’s a good guy, but don’t tell him I said that.”

Over the course of your shift you discovered that Diane’s been at Henrietta’s for fifteen years, Reggie is a drag queen and lounge singer by the name of Wizz Tiria at a few different clubs around town, and Tony has a few other business ventures he mentions on and off (the details of which he keeps to himself), but never misses taking his Mom to church on Sundays. You share a good bit about yourself as well in exchange — what brought you to Austin, why now, and where you may go from here. It doesn’t take long for you to make yourself at home among this eclectic little bunch, and for the first time in a really, really long time, you’re content with the peaceful monotony of these early winter days.

_______________________________________________

It’s a brisk February morning when you walk into the diner for your shift. You’ve spent the last month working in the cozy little greasy spoon, so you’re still getting to know the regulars, but you’ve caught on pretty quick. You’ve been working the Tuesday, Thursday, and weekend shifts, but when Diane loses another server, you’re eager to pick up the slack — extra pocket change and keep your mind busy. The company’s pretty good too. Thus, you find yourself walking into the diner at 7 AM on a Wednesday morning with a hoodie over your t-shirt and a scarf to ward off more of the wind cutting into your cheeks. You head to the staff room to remove your hoodie and don your apron and emerge, finding the diner a bit colder than it had been up to this point. You’d kept a light jacket or a cardigan on you previously, but today’s need for something heavier led you to selecting a favorite hoodie to throw over your work t-shirt — which you didn’t quite think through until you came into the dining room and felt a chil run up your spine. Diane catches sight of you before you can still yourself.

“Sweetie, what on earth fo you think you’re doing?,” she asks like you’ve done something obviously egregious.

“Huh? What is it?,” you ask innocently, but you know the answer. She can probably see the goosebumps you feel rising on your arms.

“You need somethin’ on under that, you’re gonna freeze in here today!,” she chastises.

“Yeah, I brought my hoodie, but forgot I’d be taking it off. It’s not so bad in here, I’ll be alright,’ you tell her reassuringly.

“Absolutely not. Wait, hold on a second - REGGIE! We got any more o’ those long sleeve souvenir shirts in the case?!” she hollers after him.

“Hold awn!,” he hollers back, Southern twang taking center stage when he yells, just like the rest of them. After a few seconds he emerges with a few in hand. “Got a few left. Ugly as hell, probably why they’re still here. Watcha need ‘em for?”

“Sweetie, go on and change into that before the rush starts. Not the staff shirt, but the branding’ll be fine in case Jason drops by,” she says, rolling her eyes. She pats you on the shoulder, nudging you toward Reggie to take one of the shirts. They’re bright green with a gaudy design on them that makes you laugh when he hands it to you. Jason’s the owner of Henrietta’s, and so you’ve heard, the bane of Diane’s existence. You’ve only heard tale of this rotten Jason thus far, never quite laying eyes on the mythical beast. You really hope today in this goofy shirt isn’t the day you do.

You return to the dining room a few minutes later clad in the neon green monstrosity, tugging at it in a futile effort to make it look better. “Happy now, Diane?!,” you holler as you enter, only to find her standing directly in front of you at the hostess stand, face to face with a man you’d never seen in here before — who you almost run right into, not looking where you’re going. He’s tall and broad with dark brown curls laced with grey streaks, and gray patches in the short beard that frames his jaw. He catches you when you nearly bump right into him, and you look up to meet the deepest brown eyes you’ve ever encountered. Your cheeks go red when you realize what you’ve done.

“Whoa there,” he says, smiling down at you as you stutter out an apology. “It’s alright, no harm done,” he responds, voice gentle but deep. It’s true, he didn’t even budge when he caught you, and you’re fairly certain if you’d fallen, the outcome would’ve been the same.

“Sorry about that Joel. C’mon, your table’s ready,” she says, patting Joel’s arm and leading him forward, not before turning back to you and saying, “Certainly am. Now go grab some coffee for Table 7 for me, will ya sweetie?” with a smile. You’d just run almost smack into a customer, and she wasn’t upset with you or anything. You shouldn’t be surprised, that’s just Diane, but you’re used to much larger reactions to small mistakes. You just nodded and breathed a sigh of relief, but your eyes are drawn once again to the man she’s leading away. He’s looking back at you with a smile that sends a shiver down your spine, one you’re certain has nothing to do with the chill in the air this time. He’s wearing a plaid button-down and a utility jacket, with cheeks and a nose tinged pink from the cold. You tear your eyes away anxiously and head for the coffee pot.

You’ve got your hand around the decaf pot, pouring another cup for the regular at the bar counter, when your eyes find Table 7, your next destination. You see the man, Joel, Diane had called him, with his back to you, facing out the window, newspaper in hand. You steel yourself once again, switch coffee pots, and head for his table.

You approach from the side, hoping not to spook him as he’s engrossed in the paper he has in hand. Christ, when was the last time you saw a physical newspaper? It’s kinda cute, you think, seeing someone reading one on a cold morning with a cup of coffee. So picturesque. Especially someone as handsome as he is, and you find yourself staring at his broad shoulders and dark curls again before he looks up from his reading.

“Hey,” you start, a little shaky, “sorry again, about before. Don’t know what I was doing, not looking where I was going,” you smile a little, shaking your head at your mishap.

“Really, it’s fine. You seemed, uh, preoccupied,” he says, looking down at the offending design on the tshirt you’re wearing, before looking back up at you. “It’s certainly a change from the regular uniform, huh?” he says, smiling at you. The way his eyes crinkle as he does plants a warmth in your chest you aren’t expecting. It’s been so long since you felt it, it’s almost unfamiliar. Your cheeks warm as you smile back at him, hoping it comes off as embarrassment from your wardrobe rather than bashful attraction. You’re about to tell him it’s certainly not a permanent solution, when he speaks again. “So, Sweetie, huh? Haven’t seen you around before — that what they call you in here?” he questions, smirk playing at his lips.

You laugh in response and introduce yourself, and tell him this isn’t your normal shift, but you’ll probably be around for it moving forward. You take his breakfast order, and tell him you’ll let him get back to his paper.

You don’t converse much more when you bring Joel his breakfast, just quiet thanks when you refill his coffee cup. He looks so peaceful, you almost hate to interrupt each time. You ask Reggie about him when you both have a minute behind the counter.

“Yep, that’s Joel. Gorgeous, isn’t he? Started coming in a few months back with an older lady, then more regularly by himself. She’s with him once in a while, kinda seems like a mom vibe, but she doesn’t look like him. Anyway, I think he works construction or something, always coming in with those boots on looking like a lumberjack,” Reggie says flippantly. “Heard from the older lady one day when he was in the bathroom — his daughter went to college back in the fall, they’ve been trying to get him out ever since,” he said, looking sympathetic at the thought.

You feel your heart do a little squeeze at this newfound tidbit. A fresh empty nester. You know how hard it’s been for Diane, so much she’s taken to parenting the staff in her daughter’s stead. Staring at Joel’s back as his head is bowed reading the paper, you begin wondering more and more about him. His daughter’s probably around eighteen, so how old is he? You’d guess he isn’t married, and you didn’t see a ring. Who is he? Why does he come here to read his paper each day? And most importantly — how soon can you find out the answers to these questions? You don’t want to ambush him at all and scare him off, but you’re drawn to him, and so very curious.

Meanwhile, Joel is stealing glances at your reflection in the diner window in front of him, watching you laugh with Reggie and the customers at the bar, smiling sweetly when someone makes a request of you. He needs to get out of there before he starts feeling creepy, he thinks. He rises and walks to the counter to settle his bill with Reggie at the cash register, glancing at you when he does so, futilely trying to balance showing interest and being weird. He leaves a nice tip in the jar for all of you to share, but just before he turns to go, he looks back at you, locking eyes.

“Oh uh, Sweetie?,” he says, smirk on his face. He looks almost bashful when he speaks next, like he’s working up the courage. “Glad you’re picking up. Look forward to seein’ you again,” he smiles. The look on his face when he says it is so sincere, you could melt on the spot. He was nervous about his joke, you could tell, but recovered when you laughed in reply.

“Looking forward to it too, Joel. Enjoy your day,” you say, smiling wide in return. He gives a little wave to everyone before grinnig down at his shoes and walking out of the diner into the crisp February air. Your eyes follow him out to the pick-up he hops into, before looking back over to Reggie and Tony, staring at you devilishly.

“And I’m looking forward to seeing this story unravel,” says Reggie, looking over at Tony and grinning, like something juicy has just unfolded before their eyes. The two are laughing while you smile and wave them off, wiping down the counter. Diane emerges from the office at the sound of their hearty laughter, reading glasses slipping down her nose, notepad in hand, and stares back at the three of you.

“What’d I miss?!,” she asks. You’re smiling too much to respond with anything genuine, so you return to your wiping, and let Reggie take the lead.

[sgiandubh]

Love Again? Meh

The pressure surrounding those damned elections is so unbearable, I thought finally watching Love Again on Netflix was a decent deflective idea. And since I can never sleep on a full moon's night, it really sounded like a good plan, too. Though with zero expectations, as I already wrote.

Two hours later, I probably lost a handful of neurones I will never get back again. Rom-coms are supposed to leave you in a bubbly mood, and with a strong belief in things like love trumps all, there are plenty more fish in the sea, goodness always prevails, and so on. This one left me flatter than a bottle of Coca-Cola foolishly left open and with the clear idea those people entirely missed the point.

If Nora Ephron is your gold standard, this might feel definitely subpar. But still, that's not the biggest problem I see with this movie. Love Again is exactly like those hotels rated 'pleasant' on Booking - you're not sure if they are terrible or, like Dorothy Parker used to say, 'terrible with raisins in it', which supposes at least some effort being put into it, one way or the other. The plot is remarkably bland and simply serves as a pretext for the real purpose of this movie, which is to promote Céline Dion's five new (perfectly forgettable) songs. The chemistry between S. and Priyanka Chopra is so laboured, that you'd be forgiven for thinking these two people just met in a train compartment and had a perfunctory chit-chat, never to hear from each other again.

Rom-coms are also supposed to be #silly magic in a bottle, yet there is little to no magic in a script so unbalanced, Mira's overpowering (if understandable) grief constantly threatens to flounder everything else. Where everything else includes the budding romance with Rob Burns (🙄), the music critic with no particular qualities, except a dazzlingly shy smile and Season 1 JAMMF's gimmicks, only in today's clothes and without Balfe. Overall, there is too much righteous kerfuffle and too little hope, in this movie that desperately begs for your sympathy, without ever being able to get it. And I shall mercifully pass on the mildly sexy (?) scene, even if without it we would still be wondering where exactly to place the sunshine, lollipops and roses inflexion point on that particular timeline.

Overall, the only question left without an answer is just how much genuine fun did S and Chopra have, while making this movie, at all. My perhaps biased guess is next to zero, based on the overwhelming impression that what was shown of their BTS rapport felt awkwardly transactional and opportunistic AF. This lack of authenticity buries a movie that feels just like something that had to somehow be shot, then had to somehow be released, then had to somehow make its way to Netflix' digital bosom repository. This movie is so meh, it is impossible to recommend it to anyone, and I have to say I am very sorry about that.

I said it before and I will probably say it again: S deserved better choices and opportunities coming along his way. He still does, but he also needs some urgent soul searching, if he wants to avoid looking like a one trick pony and see his acting prospects dwindle accordingly. Which won't exactly be the end of the world for him, but still an awfully unfair waste. So let's hope he will be able to choose wisely and especially out of his comfort zone which well, tends to dangerously expand, lately. The current Onlies' objectifying folly does not help, because the more it goes, the more it cuts S from a reality that is always ready to bite.

While I shall congenially follow whatever he's up to, I would really like this gifted guy to surprise me with something bold, something different and most of all, something that requires more intellect than muscles.

I know he can do it. But, does he?

[ladykailitha]

Of Butterflies and Backstrokes Part 12

Hello!! This lovely story is completed. And next week will be almost all getting this story out to you. So Sunday, Monday, and Friday will be the last three chapters of this story. So you're all in for a treat.

In this Eddie is horny on main, gets into some trouble, and vows to find out if it's connected to Steve.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

~

Steve walked away from that first meet with Billy feeling more than a little smug. Billy’s two athletes had done well enough. Chrissy Cunningham winning bronze over all in her division and Jason Carver winning silver in his.

But the thing that really made Steve’s day was that Jason’s time for the silver, was slower in masters than Eddie’s time in intermediate.

Steve made sure to focus on getting Eddie’s time in the backstroke as close as he could to the current record.

He wasn’t sure if Eddie’s coaches had lucked out in middle school, or if training Eddie on the backstroke that young was why he was as good at it as he was, but in Steve’s mind it didn’t matter. With Eddie’s arms and longer torso, he was like a knife in the water, just slicing through it.

When Eddie showed up at the next meet, Jason was sure to get in his face. Eddie had changed into his black Speedo and was braiding his hair the way Steve taught him. His was never as tight as Steve’s but at the Olympics Steve wouldn’t be his coach and wouldn’t be able to do it for him.

“You must think you’re pretty special after that performance from last time, huh?” Jason huffed. “With the judges falling all over themselves to put you in the higher division, but now you’re playing with the big boys now. I will wipe the floor with you.”

Eddie looked up at the other swimmer. Jason cut the all-American boy next door stereotype to a tee. His perfect tan, white teeth, blond hair and blue eyes. His toned body barely contained by his red Speedo.

If Jason hadn’t started shit, Eddie wouldn’t have said no to tapping that ass. But as it was, he was refraining. He knew what Billy was going for with this guy. He was the replacement Steve Harrington. Like original wasn’t one of a kind.

Eddie finished braiding his hair and stood up, meeting Jason eye to eye. “You can’t even wipe the floor with your own ass, man. My time was better than yours and it’s going to be again.” He patted Jason on his chest and then turned around. He grabbed his cap and goggles throwing the rest of his stuff in the locker and slammed it shut. He pulled on his team jacket, shoving the goggles and cap in one of the pockets.

“All you are is a one trick pony,” Jason sneered. “You might beat me in the backstroke but I am the better swimmer all around.” He gave Eddie a little push before shouldering past him.

Eddie just shook his head and followed the idiot out.

He walked right up to Steve with the biggest grin. “Looks like I got them against the lane ropes, coach. They’re running scared.”

Steve frowned, but when Eddie told him about his encounter with Jason just now, he grinned. “Certainly sounds like it. So I looked into who his charges were.”

“Yeah?” Max asked eagerly. She had just finished her heat and was going over her times with Steve when Eddie came out of the locker room.

“He is Jason Carver,” Steve explained, “been all over the country with all the best coaches and tutors. But he’s twenty-two and never made it to the Olympics so people were starting to say he was washed up, until Billy got his claws in him. If he wasn’t so Sunday school vibes, I would suspect doping with the sudden change.”

“I hope it shrinks his penis,” Max said darkly.

Robin and Eddie giggled and Eddie high-fived her.

Steve rolled his eyes. “The girl is Chrissy Cunningham. She’s only eighteen and she barely missed getting on the women’s team in the last Olympics, having come in seventh. She is highly favored on getting on the team for London. She didn’t need Billy’s help, she just came as a packaged deal with Jason as he’s her boyfriend.”

Robin rolled her eyes and scoffed under her breath, “Straights!”

Max squawked in outrage. “Hey, we’re not all weirdos like that.”

They all laughed.

Then it was time for Eddie’s first match of the day. Thankfully he had been placed at the other end of the pool from Jason as Steve wasn’t sure the guy wouldn’t try and push Eddie off or something.

Then the gun went off. Eddie arched backwards into the pool as graceful as a butterfly and just as beautiful. Eddie was focused on his stroke as he whirled around to make his way back through his lane.

He touched the pad and yanked off his goggles. He saw his time and hollered. It was even better than last time and there was no doubt he had beaten Jason.

And immediately as soon as Jason got out of the pool he ran right up to the the judges screaming about how Eddie must be doping.

The judge, a poor belabored man in his fifties pinched the bridge of his nose. “Mr. Carver, Mr. Munson has already submitted to a drug test after his last outstanding performance and he has passed with flying colors. Please go sit down.”

Billy came up and led a very upset Jason away from the judges murmuring things about how easy it is to fake a urine test.

Eddie just scoffed and turned to Steve as they walked passed them. “If he wanted to see my dick so bad, all he had to do was ask nicely.”

Jason whirled around to start something, Billy held him back. “He’s just saying that to get you riled up. Just ignore him.”

Jason walked backwards, glaring at Eddie. Eddie waved his fingers at him and then turned back to Steve and them.

“Some people take these things too seriously,” he huffed, putting his hands on his hips dramatically. “You should be able to have little fun outside of the pool.”

Steve grinned up at him. “As long as your head remains in the game in the pool, I really don’t care what you do out of it. Drugs and smoking aside. If it’s legal and ain’t hurting anyone, have fun, go nuts.”

Eddie grinned back.

All the men finished their heats, Eddie winning gold again.

“Next up are the state competitions,” Steve said after they had come back out from getting changed. “I expect you’ll both do really well there as well. The real challenge will come on the national level. Billy just brought his team out here to fuck with me and is really pissed it didn’t work the way he thought it would.”

“Also,” Robin said, “I’ve hearing around that since the Olympic trials are being held in Nebraska this time round and is trying to horn in on our facility because it’s been where the trials have been held in the past.”

“Joyce would laugh him out of her office if he tried that,” Max said rolling her eyes.

Robin put her hands over her mouth and giggled. “What if she already has and that’s why he’s so pissed?”

They all shared gleeful glances and then all agreed that without any evidence one way or the other that that was exactly what happened and no one was going to convince them otherwise.

Steve turned to Eddie. “Do you need a ride home? Wayne caught me before he left to say that he had to go to work.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said with a sigh of relief. “If you could. I was going to try and call Jeff to come get me, but if you’re willing, I’m ready.”

Steve nodded and turned to Robin, “Susan said she was driving both of you girls home, is that still okay?”

Robin nodded and then left with Max to go find her mom, leaving Eddie and Steve alone.

Eddie reached out and touched Steve’s elbow. “Hey are you okay? I saw that you were much further from the pool than you usually are.”

Steve blushed and ducked his head. He scratched his cheek as he pursed his lips to stop their quivering. He nodded.

“I need you to breathe with me, Stevie,” Eddie cooed, taking both of his wrists and rubbing them with his thumb. “In for five, hold, and out for seven. The water isn’t close enough for you to fall in. It’s ten feet away. You can’t fall in. In for five, hold, and out for seven.”

Steve closed his eyes and did as Eddie bid, relaxing into the warmth of the younger man’s timbre. Slowly he opened his eyes. “Thank you.”

Eddie grinned back at him. “No problem!”

Steve coughed, and looked away. “I should probably get you home, before you turn into a pumpkin.”

“Sure thing, Stevie,” his voice was warm and tender, taking the suddenly change as the dodge it was.

They walked out to Steve’s car and Eddie kept an eye on him all the way there.

“This isn’t a setback you know?” he murmured.

Steve let out a shuddering sigh and stopped a moment to close his eyes. “I do know that, but at same time whenever this happens I just feel like I failed.” He huffed out a bitter laugh. “Dr. Hughes would probably say it’s because of my father constantly hounding me to be the best all the time...”

“I know what it feels like to have that voice in your head,” Eddie said softly, reaching out to touch his arm, “telling you everything you do is a failure and you’ll never be good enough. But it’s like breaking your leg. Sometimes you’ll have bad days, but you’ve just got to keep moving forward. Okay?”

He nodded and just buried his head into the crook of Eddie’s neck, sobbing. Eddie wrapped his arms around him and held him as he cried.

~

Eddie couldn’t win every meet, but even when he didn’t, he at least made the podium each time. He was brilliant in the water.

Max was doing well, too. Susan had given her permission to practice with Steve more days out of the week. Provided of course she kept her grades up. Eddie had opted to train with Steve and Robin twice a day.

He really wanted to put in the work required to be the best.

The Ghastly Ghouls, as Eddie had taken to calling the stuck up coaches and their charges who looked down on Eddie and Steve, started avoiding them all together. Bitter and angry that not only was Steve the better coach, despite being afraid of the pool, but Eddie was more dedicated to the sport then their athletes were.

Hannah and Lisa would often complain about how hard it was and how much the swimming time ate into their social lives.

Eddie wanted to laugh. He still hung out with his friends, had Sunday dinner with Wayne, and practiced with his band around his swimming schedule.

Hell, a lot of the times the stands would have more than just Wayne and Susan in them. Joyce and her sons, their friends, too. To root Steve on as well as Eddie and Max. Jeff, Gareth, and Brian would come as well.

He would never tell Steve this, but once he ran into Tommy and Carol outside one of their meets. The conservation was stilted and awkward as fuck, but he thought it was cute that they were trying to support Steve even if it was surreptitiously.

It was the last match of the season and Eddie was hyped. Bouncing on the balls of his feet and shaking his hands to stay warmed.

A couple of judges approached him with a jacket in the one’s hand.

“Is this your jacket?” the one asked, holding up a brand new, black bomber style jacket instead of the motorcycle leather that was so worn that it was brown along the cuffs and the zipper.

Eddie shook his head. “No, ma’am. I’ve never seen that jacket before in my life.”

Robin and Steve immediately dashed over.

“You’re saying that this isn’t your jacket?” the other judge growled. “It was found in your locker.” He put his hands into the front pocket and pulled out a little plastic baggy with what Eddie presumed was steroids. One thing he wouldn’t sell to his classmates, though many a jock asked. The risk was just too high.

Eddie shook his head. “My jacket is out in my van. I don’t bring in anymore because it’s too hot.”

“That’s not his jacket,” Steve snapped. “Robin grab me my phone. Eddie go get your jacket.”

“I’ll come with you,” the first judge growled and followed Eddie out to the parking lot.

Robin slapped the phone into Steve’s hand. He pulled up his contacts and dialed a number. “Hello, is Dr. Owens available. Yes, it’s urgent. Dr. Owens. Has Eddie tested positive for steroids, ever? No? Would you please tell that to these judges please?”

The remain judge’s eyes went wide. “Why do you have an Olympic doctor on speed dial?”

Steve just started him straight in the eye with the phone held out. The judge shakily took the phone and listened to Dr. Owens berate him for his idiocy and incompetence.

Eddie and the judge came back with Eddie’s jacket. Further cementing Eddie’s innocence.

“I think someone is trying to get Eddie out of the running,” Robin said, voice dripping with malice. “I think you’ll find whoever told to search Eddie’s locker is the one that put that there.”

“It was anonymous,” the second judge huffed.

“Convenient,” she said, darkly folding her arms in front of her chest.

“Can I swim now?” Eddie asked, his lip quivering and his voice breaking.

The judges shared defeated glances, but agreed he was allowed to compete.

Eddie made sure to get gold in every one of events that day, just further piss whoever had tried to sabotage him off.

After he stepped off the winner podium, he scanned the crowd wondering if whoever was out to get him was also the one who sabotaged Steve in ‘08.

And he was going to find out.

~

Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @gloomysoup

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @eriquin

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

9- @chameleonhair @sadisticaltarts @dreamercec @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @mac-attack19

10- @aol19 @tartarusknight @morallyundefined

[snotty-zombie]

Rageous-tober part 4 (final)!!!

Day 27: Crossover (2 parts)

Day 31: Halloween

More under cut >xP

totally disregard all the writing if you dont care lmaooo this is just me word vomiting about my ocs and thought process when doing this haha i just thought id give some context cuz i always forget you guys know literally nothing about my characters

Day 27: Crossover! So this is a two parter, part 1 is Gumlee x Ritzneer obvvvvvviously because I’m basic I can’t help but compare them and a lot of others can’t help it either from what I’ve seen I had an insane stroke of genius calling Veneer ‘Prince Gumdrop’ and I don’t think I’ll ever reach those heights again

Part 2 of the crossover is MLP CROSSOVER!! Including unicorn ‘Colt Ritz’ which I am quite proud I must say considering I hadn’t drawn a pony in like- 10 years AS WELL AS Pegasus ‘Boogie Bomb’ which I am ALSO quite proud of, he has very big wings and is covered in little green spots (which mimic the spotty design he has on his shaved scalp as a Rageon) he looks a bit like a donkey but I think that’s just because of his little facial hair bits and massive pointy ears I gave him hmmmm Also, siren Velvet and Veneer!! I can’t remember the exact lore of the sirens since I haven’t seen the film in a real long time but I got some help from my friend who is a big MLP fan and she filled me in on the lore etc, as well as inspiration from another artist on here who also did a VV x MLP crossover, I reposted their amazing art on my other blog so def go check it out. Anyway, VV are sirens and disguise themselves as alicorns (but also hide their flanks as they have no cutie marks)

Day 31: Halloween!!! 🎃 👻 💀 🦇 🐈‍⬛ Last one!! This one took foreveerrrrr and again, I just had to try to outdo myself with the amount of bs happening on screen at once I tried to include all my main fav ocs, as well as the twins and KR all going door to door in a massive trick or treating horde

I called this the 'soft launch' of my Velvet and Veneer fan parents, Dr Velocity (mum) and Dr Voltage (dad), they're in matching Frankenstein and Frankenstein's wife costumes :3. They mean well of course as any parent does but their good intentions can get lost in translation (harsh punishments and struggling/refusing to understand their bizarre children). I will definitely give them their spotlight when I eventually get around to redesigning them (slightly) and writing out some information about them to share with you guys because I like them a lot :P

-Theres Glow Worm getting her costume repaired by Rhinestone after she ripped it doing multiple cartwheels in a row -Velvet and Veneer trading their sweets that they collected (you'd think they were discussing border placement or something, they take it so seriously) -Veneer and TV Girl finally getting along after telling their lame boyfriends to stop fighting with each other -And a zombie Boogie sketch I refused to finish whoops

SO YEAH THATS ALL I DID FOR RAGEOUS-TOBER, finally posting it to tumblr half way through November. be sure to check out the creators account, jobiesayscheese 😻😻😻 thanks for checking my art out, and if you read all of my stupid ramblings ily sm and thank you for hearing me out

I also did in fact win a raffle for Rageous-tober not to flex but yes to flex (totally wasn’t rigged cuz tf)

Part 1! Part 2! Part 3! Part 4!

[jelloapocalypse]

Holy moly that was a good video!

Sorry for the long ask. I am very excited!

The List itself was so well done and cutting right before jubun wo got a good laugh out of me. So many emotions all at once and the way it was put together got me genuinely emotional enough to cry.

Number one was such a great pick too. A masterpiece. A gesamkunstwerk, even! Just like the list itself! I feel as though with this list, far more than most, I've really gotten a glimpse into your genuine sense of taste and not just a parroted repeating of what people think is popular. Even (especially) though I definitely disagreed with parts.

I have two questions, though:

1) At the very beginning, it mentions submissions for this project. Was there a submissions form somwhere that i just completly missed somehow? Or does "submissions" here just mean "the anime needed to have aired prior to this date"?

²) The whole time watching, i was wondering where any monogatari series opening would place because i was 100% confident at least one would on account of many of them being among Shaft's best works. But then seeing the final number one pick made me almost certain Renai Circulation and Mousou Express should have gotten the same treatment AND that you probably would have liked them had you been aware of them, so:

2) are you simply somehow unaware of the monogatari series, or was there something about those openings that just didnt have the jennies?

Obsessed with your numbering system here that has "square" between 1 and 2, lmao

1) "Submissions" in general just means we were done accepting new entries for consideration as of February, but we did ask literally everyone we knew for suggestions. I also did some informal asks on Patreon, Twitter, etc.

2) I would hope it's obvious we do know the Monogatari series considering it shows up in the video several times! I used clips from Hanamonogatari and Owarimonogatari. The latter was even the title card for the "Theming" overview.

This is the best Monogatari OP, by the way. I would not mind popping this one onto the 90s to replace one of the lower entrants. But almost nobody talks about this one!

Shaft is great at picking a weird, fun, artsy thing to put in almost every opening they do, but a lot of them are kind of a one-trick pony if you zoom out from that.

Staple Staple, for instance, has a strong color palette and the clicking staple trails is such a fun visual. And then you watch it and realize... Oh. This is like 90 seconds of the exact same idea with almost no iteration on it. It really is just CG staple trails over black and white footage. That's such a shame.

We didn't talk about this in depth, the biggest thing that eliminated OPs from consideration (other than credits) was the "Should this be 90 seconds long" factor. So, so many openings have enough ideas to make a great 30 second opening, but not a good 90 second one. Steins;Gate and Blue Exorcist are great examples of that. Nichijou too.

Meanwhile a lot of other famous Monogatari OPs like Renai Circulation are like... just a good song. Can you watch this muted and tell me it ticks any boxes besides "nice colors" and "this girl wants to fuck her brother"?

I'm comfy with our Shaft representatives on the list being Pretty Boy Detective Club, Maria + Holic, and Yet the Town Moves. I think all of those are holistically better than all the Monogataris, which we watched twice in desperate hope of putting one on there.

[wileys-russo]

“You look better in red” ficlet mayhaps🫶🏼

you look better in red

"no!" you laughed, shaking your head firmly from where you lay on the bed. "baby!" millie whined, stomping her foot like a toddler as she glared down at you. "please." the blonde pouted as you again shook your head.

"what am i then? chopped liver?" mary scoffed, crossing her arms and glaring at the taller girl beside her. "no! i just thought it would work best with three of us." millie huffed, having spent the last half an hour begging you to do a tiktok with her as you promptly refused.

"go on then snakehips. time's a tickin!" you teased, propping yourself up on one elbow and tapping your watch as your girlfriend gave you a mean stare and set up her phone to record.

you were away on england camp for the olympic qualifiers and of course that meant millie and mary had to record as many tiktoks as they could, millie dubbing herself the tiktok princess to marys tiktok queen.

"oi those are my shorts!" you realised as your girlfriend hiked her hoodie up a little, your favourite pair of shorts snugly wrapped around her muscular thighs. "our shorts baby." millie corrected, blowing you a kiss as mary fake gagged.

"best not stretch them with your tree trunk thighs or we'll be havin words." you warned her sternly, mary now ooohing. "ow mills!" the girl huffed as the chealsea player punched her, the timer starting as the music went.

"go on girls!" you cheered with a clap as they both started to dance, stifling your laughter behind your hand as they both went the wrong way and crashed into one another.

this seemed to be a common trend as the two of them routinely argued back and forth about who was doing which part, at least ten takes in and still not able to use a single one. "would you stop laughin!" millie scowled at you as you buried your face in a pillow to muffle the noise.

"sorry! just its like you've both got two left feet. like big clumsy giants!" you clutched at your stomach, now the laughter was free flowing it was unable to stop. "right! if it's so easy then you do it love, go on!" your girlfriend gestured, her and mary stepping back as you shrugged.

you made sure the camera wasn't recording as you clicked play on the sound, counting yourself in and starting to dance, both girls jaws dropping as you didn't miss a beat or a single move. "ta da!" you finished, giving them both a sarcastic jazz hands.

"mary get out." millie mumbled, jaw slack as she stared at you with a familiar look in her eyes. "what?" the keeper frowned, unsure if she'd heard correctly. "out, get out." millie spoke, jumping to her feet and pouncing at you, hand gripping the back of your neck and pulling you into a bruising kiss.

"ergh alright at least wait till i'm gone before you suck face!" mary groaned, grabbing her jacket and hurrying out of the room as millies large hands groped at you. "baby that was so hot." the taller girl mumbled into your mouth.

"don't laugh! i'm tryin to kiss ya here that's not very romantic." millie frowned as you pushed her away, body vibrating with amusement. "you are honestly like a teenage boy, the most weird and simple things turn you on bright!" you teased, shoving her suddenly as she fell back onto the bed.

"go on then baby. dance for me!" the older girl smirked, shuffling back to rest on her elbows as her eyes scanned you up and down hungrily. "you already got a free show. sorry love i'm a one trick pony!" you grinned, sending her a wink.

"alright! well then i guess i'll just have to dance for you." millie sighed, grabbing your hand and tugging you down on the bed, rolling on top of you and attacking your face with kisses before she stood.

"might want to get a head start and take your shorts and shirt off baby, cause this dance is gonna knock your socks off!" millie blew you a kiss and wiggled her finger guns, backing up as you raised your eyebrows at her confidence.

"count me in, from five." she flicked through her phone before she turned her back to you, pulling her hood up to cover her messy bun of hair. "oh my god." you sighed as pony blasted from her phone and you counted her in from five.

"millie!" you laughed as she turned, starting to body roll and bite her lip, mouthing along to the words. "call me magic millie baby." she flipped her hood off, dropping to the floor and rolling her body like a stripper as you laughed.

"baby this is not hot." you bit down on your lip as she wiggled and bucked her hips on the floor, shaking her head so much that her bun was clinging on for dear life to her head.

"scuse me, no talking from the audience." she warned, jumping up to her feet and quickly stripping herself of her hoodie, tossing it so it landed on your face. "keepsake darlin, from me to you." she winked and blew you a kiss as you peeled it off of you and dropped it to the floor.

"do we have a volunteer? oh you look willing for a good time!" mary yelled out, pointing to you and starting to stalk her way over. "millie!" your stomach hurt from laughing so hard as she stood in between your legs, grabbing the back of your neck and pressing your face into her stomach, rolling her body up and down as she continued to sing along.

"you want me? you can't have me!" millie yelled in a funny accent, suddenly shoving you away from her as she turned around and wiggled her bum at you.

you wolf whistled and broke out into cheers as the song ended and she dropped to her knees, peace signs in the air. "now that, that was dancing." millie breathed out, admittedly a little puffed from the effort.

"shut up and kiss me you big dopey idiot."

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

n addition to not being that much more impressive than many in 1A, I never understood why “Explosion” was thought to be “perfect for heroics” in the first place. First of all, it’s a destructive quirk, and despite the prevalence of fire-quirked heroes, I’d expect the first reaction of most adults to a destructive quirk is to think “future-villain” - especially when wielded by a kid with no respect for property damage. Secondly, a lot of what makes it “good for heroics” is down to Bk’s intensive training - using it fly, etc - not things that would have been immediately obvious in elementary school.

Separately, I agree with what a few others have said that what makes Bk’s quirk seem so strong is his intensive training of it and his endless aggression. (Honestly, half of the kids should have found it psychologically hard to to actually attack someone with their quirk in their first class.) When other kids are actually worried about maiming someone, they’re not going to be using the constant 150% aggression like Bk.

Explosion is a 1 trick pony quirk at the end of the day. Or at least it should be but Hori gives Katsuki insane plot armor. Seriously, his stun grenade, ability to attack from a range, and his smokescreen clearing strike are BS.

This is why I always say there are two school of thoughts on Explosion Quirks: villain or hero.

For me, I think people praising him really focused on the combat aspect of his Quirk because heroism had become about fighting rather then saving people. I think a bright kid, with rich parents because they're a model and fashion designer the guy has money, Bakugou was placated by others even more. His willingness to train and work with his Quirk led to him being praised more.

Its a headcanon kids like Bakugou get specialized training for his Quirk because of how dangerous it can be. I imagine the trainer was shocked by how dedicated Bakugou was and praised him. It got around and everyone knew this kid was strong, wanted to be a hero, and had a combative Quirk.

So that can be why its him being praised so much, by a bunch of people focusing on combat not anything else.

Not sure about ‘kids finding it hard to attack others’ cause kids are nasty. I remember being like six and punching another kid in the face. Plus I had a brother two years older then me, and a cousin a week younger.

The three of us were nightmares and I ain't gonna lie if I was Bakugou I’d be using it on them one time. Of course I'd be horrified by them being hurt and would have been grounded so hard.

Little kids dont really have the ability to know right from wrong and empathy is very low but Bakugou… I've pointed out how malicious the Deku name is (and I will yell it still it occurred before Izuku was diagnosis and it was never a kind nickname) for a freaking toddler and while yeah Hori did it, whole thing is still disturbing.

His attacks are a bit BS and I think Hori was having to come up with a reason he's around because he is just that guy with an explosion Quirk. Mind I personally think Hori didn't like Bakugou but when he got super popular had to keep him around.

Everyone knows my thoughts on how Bakugou's arch should have gone. He's honestly such a boring character now to me, because I had that upswing of anger at him and now it's 'and here is Bakugou with a loud Quirk who somehow despite the logical assumptions is the best above everyone'. He's so boring.

The more I really think about it, the more I wanna really have Bakugou just be there. Have Izuku move past him without realizing it, and have Todoroki take the place as rival. I am not going to lie: the idea of Todoroki staying a rival for longer then canon (and actually presenting himself as a rival early on) is attractive as hell. He's RIGHT THERE. The son of the number two hero raised to surpass All Might constantly fighting against the protoge of All Might! The drama, the action.

I'd honestly only have the reveal of Todoroki's past be when the summer camp happens, and that's when Todoroki turns from rival to friend. Not the weird ass thing Hori did with Bakugou.

But yeah, you're not wrong.

[janitorhutcherson]

hi! can you do a fluff piece with Mike where he expresses his love to the reader through the different love languages? (like words of affirmation, gift giving, physical touch, acts of kindness, and quality time?) I feel like he would be especially great at acts of kindness with cooking :) thanks!

hii omg this is such a cute idea. this is gonna be quickish i’m sorry, i’ll totally do a longer one later. if y’all like it i’ll maybe make a series?!? but for now just a silly little blurb.

i feel like mike would be very loving and showing his love to you would be extremely important. like, extremely important. so he’d def be the kind of guy to take all of these seriously, even if they weren’t… easy… for him since expressing emotions doesn’t come as natural.

words of affirmation: words of affirmation is one of my favorite love languages. this is one that doesn’t come easy for mike — and not because he doesn’t love you, but just because he can’t really express himself well. if you’re like me, being reassured, told you’re doing great, etc, is important to you. mike would do his very best to remind you every day how important you are to him, leaving the occasional note in the morning before you head to work. it may say something like, “Reminder I am so proud of you for everything you do. I love you, baby!” he’s also ramble to you at night sometimes, just telling you how much he loves you. if you were ever down, he’d make sure to sit you down and point out all of the things he loves about you, physically and mentally.

gift giving: okay i feel like this is a big one. money doesn’t come very easily for mike. after he got “fired” (that’s what he pretends happened!😜), he had to find another job that still had shitty pay. his resume didn’t make him a great candidate for anything high quality. with that being said, every month he attempts to scrape up enough money to make you a little gift basket. it varies from month to month, depending on how much he was able to save. sometimes they’d be big baskets he’d have abby help him pick stuff out for. there may be a fuzzy blanket, some candies, face masks, maybe a candle. sometimes they’d be smaller, just a little note and some candy, maybe a stuffed animal from the dollar store. regardless of how big or small, you always appreciated it when you’d walk into your shared home and see it sitting on the table.

physical touch: oh my god i think this one is a huge one for mike. given his past, he is so touch starved. every second he gets, his hands are on you. of course, at night he loves to curl up with you in bed. he’ll have his arms tightly wrapped around you, playing with your hair or maybe rubbing your back. even when he dips down on the bed to tie his shoes in the morning, he keeps his hand on your sleeping shoulder until he absolutely has to move it. he’s the same way out in public. at the supermarket, he’ll hold your hand, he’ll wrap his arm around your waist when you’re standing in line for something. when you’re out to eat, his hand will be on your knee underneath the table. when you’re cooking at home, he will always come and wrap himself up behind you, moving with you to the point that it’s slightly obnoxious, but you don’t mind. as long as he’s with you.

acts of kindness: i so agree that this would be a big one for him that he’d be good at. before you, mike was a one trick pony when it came to cooking, and for that, he could barely do it. he could make something that was edible enough to be spaghetti. once you two started dating, he learned for you. he wanted to be able to make your favorite dishes and desserts. he surprises you all the time when he’s off of work or if he gets off before you, making your favorite dish and having it served up on the table with candles when you walk in the door after work. he’s also big on doing things like running you baths, putting the bubbles in and the epsom salts in. sometimes he’d get into it with you, holding you. i also think he’d like to take showers with you. if you struggle with mental health at all, i think he’d be the type of partner to help you wash your hair. of course he’d do chores for you sometimes, knocking out necessary errands. overall he’s a very loving partner who will do anything to make you smile.

quality time: quality time is something that isn’t easy to get. as much as you love abby, alone time is especially hard to come by. since mike is working day shifts now, you two will do your best to have a late night together at least once a week. you’re both usually pretty exhausted, taking care of abby, working, running errands. but once a week, usually on a friday night, you both stay up until 3am/4am, just talking, snacking, maybe watching a movie. otherwise, for quality time, he makes sure to sneak some time in with you here in there. he’d make sure to run simple errands with you, maybe even to sit with you at the nail salon. i also think he’d love to help you cook, go shopping. any chance he’d get to spend time with you, he’d take it.

[bullet-prooflove]

May I please have something written for Kimball Cho using the "life was easier when I only cared about me" line from Squidward's Butt Dance Prompt List? (one of the funniest names for anything ever btw) I figured I'd mix things up for once and not choose Matty or Danny. I don't want to end up being a 2-trick pony lol

- Kelnon

Tagging: @kmc1989 @caitlinrosa @mcfriggingonagall @kniselle @aiko24k

I honestly don't mind who you prompt for, you can do it for all three! Also thank you for selecting Cho, I am having a great time getting to know him through writing.

Cho tries not to care about you, he tries to treat you like just another one of his colleagues but it gets harder every day because truthfully you’re not. He can’t pretend he doesn’t notice the tired circles under eyes when he runs into you in the breakroom, or the way you flinch when you hear a loud noise.

“You need to get some sleep.” He says softly as he leans against the counter, his arms crossed over chest.

You’re waiting for your tea to steep, both palms pressed upon the work surface as you watch the colours plume in the milk.

“You gave up the right to tell me what to do when you ended things Cho.” You say, your gaze remaining fixed on your tea.

“Just because we’re not together doesn’t mean I don’t care.” He tells you, tilting his head so he capture your gaze.

You laugh then and that sound, it feels like a knife is being driven into his chest because it’s so fucking bitter.

“You don’t get to step in and out of my life when you feel like it.” You tell him as you pluck the teabag out of your mug with the cardboard tab. “You don’t get to ride in like a white knight because you think it’s the right thing to do.”

Cho sighs, his palm rubbing over the back of his neck.

“It’s not like that.” He tells you and you tilt your head towards him with so much pain in your eyes it harrows him. “You know it isn’t.”

“I know I fell in love and you didn’t.”

“Is that what you think?” He asks you, his voice rough. “You think I didn’t love you?”

“All I know is that one minute we were happy and the next…”

You trail off, the line of your jaw clenching.

“You know what it doesn’t matter.” You say, picking up your mug and stepping away from him. “It clearly meant more to me than it did to you.”

You’re wrong, he thinks as he watches you walk away. The relationship the two of you had, it meant everything.

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