#I am going to get a bunch of blueberries now

[the-kr8tor]

lavender + ❣️ with Jason todd where they are at the manor after being out ( prob shopping or smth) and he confesses his love bc a bunch of guys were asking for readers number but she turned them all down and he wanted to be hers and was tired of guys bothering his (soon to be) girl. Hopefully this makes sense lol but you totally don't have to do this. I love you and hope you have an amazing week!! 😘😘

Yay a Jason req! Thank you for being patient! I hope you like your potion 🩷

Pairing: Jason Todd x fem! Reader/ Red Hood x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.7k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, CW food mention, Best friends to lovers, Fluff

Katy's one year celebration 🎉

Jason has been uncharacteristically quiet the entire drive to the manor. He doesn't even tap his fingers to the rhythm of the radio playing a cheesy pop song that he keeps telling you that he doesn't like. With one hand he steers the wheel while his elbow rests on the window sill. It's a cool afternoon in Gotham, orange and pink hues shifting along the clouds, the road is still wet from the downpour a few hours ago. His drenched jacket that he used to shield you both from the rain hangs over the backseat.

You watch him with pensive eyes, wracking your brain as to why he's so quiet when he was such a chatterbox back when he was driving to the grocery store. You've almost forgotten what he was talking about, mind reeling from the conclusion that you might've done something to agitate your best friend. Maybe you shouldn't have volunteered to go on a grocery run when Alfred asked, especially that you and Jason planned to hang out at your place. Biting the inside of your cheek, you try to remember what happened at the store to warrant such a stifling silence from Jason— Well, he opened the door for you while he was talking about that new book he was so excited to read. Then he grabbed a cart, pushed it while you had your hand on the end, guiding him, and all the while you two kept chattering on the aisle, taking stuff that was on Alfred's list. And then that was it. Nothing special happened, well except for that one guy with a nice smile who asked you where the cereal was. And that one dude who helped you take the can of beans from the highest shelf while Jason was weighing the blueberries.

You must've looked quite agitated or even constipated because it's now Jason's turn to worry.

“Are you okay? You look like you need to take a shit.” He glances briefly to you, green eyes hiding an emotion you're still trying to ascertain.

“Am I okay? Jay, you're the one who's been silent the entire way.” He enters the manor's gates, shrugging at your words. “We can still hang out at my place after this. I'm sorry we wasted an afternoon buying Damian's sweets.”

There's a small smile on his lips, “that kid eats too much sugar.” Clicking his seatbelt off, he opens the door with a groan, you surmise that his healing knee is still bothering him.

You sigh, getting more anxious at his dodging. Before you could open the door for yourself, you find Jason outside of your door, opening it for you. “C’mon, Jay, talk to me.” Tugging at the hem of his shirt, you smile up at him. “Is it because I ate the donut you left in my fridge?”

Jason furrows his brows, lips pursed, trying not to laugh. “That was yours, babe, I left it for you.”

You blink, hand drifting away from his shirt. He already misses your hold on him. “Oh, thanks.”

“You and Dami share a sweet tooth, so I got it for you.” He leans down, arm placed atop the car, eyes soft and tender. “But thank you for confessing your sins.”

You can't help but ogle at how he looks from below. “...yeah, sure, Jay.” You say in a small tone. It's not the nickname that has you all giddy inside, you're used to his sweet nicknames that he has bestowed upon you. No, it's the thought that he left you a treat because he knows how much you love that triple chocolate donut that has you bouncing off the walls after eating it.

So it's not the donut, then why the hell does he have a stick up his finely toned ass?

Jason leaves your side, the cologne you bought him lingering around you. He opens the trunk, carrying every single plastic bag with both hands. You finally stand up after being weak in the knees after the simple look he gave you. Walking towards him to help, he's already halfway inside the mansion before you could grab a few bags from him. Knowing him, it's all effortless. Well, at least he left you one tiny bag that only contains two boxes of cereal— one regular wheat and one that has your tooth rotting just from looking at the bright colors. With a sigh, you grab it and follow him inside and towards the kitchen.

The plastic bags rustle as he takes out all the groceries. It's filled with fresh vegetables, fruits, sugar and all the food that a vigilante needs for patrol. You put your singular bag on the counter next to the others, helping him take out the rest while he still stands there all quiet and broody. In the low light of the kitchen you can clearly see that Bruce has definitely made a big influence on him.

You put your foot down, knees up on the stool to level with him, hands placed on the cold marble countertop as he raises a curious brow at you. “What's up, Jay?”

“What's up?” He mimics your tone. “Nothing, babe, just taking out the groceries.” You take the can of beans from his hand and then you place it loudly on the counter while you take a stance against the red hood who makes goons cower in fear just from his stare. “You really want to know?”

“Yes!” You exclaim, reaching over the counter to grab his hand. Wordlessly telling him that you're there for him whatever kind of problem has plagued him recently.

Jason watches as your fingers dance along his scarred palm, kneading his muscles just like you always do whenever he drops in your apartment after a tough patrol. He was so sure that he had gathered enough courage to tell you, but now that you have your hands around his own, all his bravery is down the drain.

He sucks in his teeth, leaning down, elbows atop the counter, green eyes staring anywhere near your eyes, and then he places a quick kiss along your knuckles. Warmth soothing you, almost making you forget what you were asking for.

Defeated, you cup his jaw, thumb running along his growing stubble, fingers reaching behind his ear to rub lovingly across his nape. “Okay, it's okay if you don't want to tell me. But I'll be here if you want to tell me.” You smile when he leans against your touch, eyes looking at you with such fondness that you almost melt on the spot.

Jason rationalizes his thoughts, the same thoughts that have plagued him for years, the same thoughts that he has dreamed of telling you. “It’s not the donut.”

“Of course it's not the donut.” You chuckle, fingers still tangled in his hair.

“And it's not because of the trip to the grocery store.” His eyes flick over to yours, smiling softly at how you look back at him with the same fondness. “I liked our trip, I kept imagining that we were buying stuff for our place.”

“Do you want more hangouts like that then? You can join me in going to my laundry place. We can watch the clothes tumble and dry like a couple of old people.” Your waist is cold against the counter, but you don't mind as long as he's there with you. “How's that sound?”

“Sounds great. I'll bring the spare change.” You chuckle, after a beat, you thought that was the end of it, but Jason looks like he still wants to say something else— so you stay rooted in place. “But that's not the reason.”

“Okay,” you nod, encouraging him to continue. He gives you his other hand to hold, fingers beckoning your touch. You indulge him, leaving his hair to hold his hand.

“It's that fucking guy.” He blurts out. “Guys.” He corrects himself.

“What guys?”

“The ones who were asking for your number.”

You blink, trying to recall. “I don't remember that.”

“Come on, Y/N.” He squeezes your hands as if that will help you remember them. “The tall blonde guy and the one with the uncanny smile. Just thinking about that grin gives me the creeps.”

“Oh,” you know Jason enough to actually know what he means. “Yeah, I actually remember now. What about them?”

He scoffs, acting like you caught his hand in the cookie jar. “They were bothering you is all. I was just worried for you.”

You nod, hands sliding from his own. For a moment, Jason thinks you're about to go off on him, telling him that you can handle yourself or that you can give your number to whoever the hell you want to. Because who is he to tell you who to date? It's not like you're together, right? But is it wrong that he wants to?

His thoughts get thrown out of the window when you hold his face, soft palms against his rough skin, thumb tracing along the scar on his cheek. It's all affectionate, loving, and it has Jason's heart pumping a thousand times per second.

You smile, head tilting, staring at how his eyes glow under the kitchen lights. It's mundane, but you love him like this, just like how you love him in any way shape or form. You love your best friend. “You're an idiot, Jason Todd.” Your smile gets bigger, he frowns, fearing the worst. “You know that I'm in love with you, right?”

Jason's worried eyes light up, not a trace of his worries, just you in his vision, bathed in the light of his home. “Now I do.” He chuckles, mirroring your position, holding your face in his hands, gentle, like how you'd hold a delicate feather. Placing his forehead atop yours, he says the three words back. “I love you. I'm sorry it took this long.”

Jason leans away, eyes staring at your lips before watching your heart shaped eyes look at him. “That's my girl.” Tilting his head back, you chase his lips, grabbing his collar to do what you've always wanted to do.

“I don't blame you, it took me a while too.” You sniff, refusing to let the tears escape you. “By the way, I never gave them my number.”

[trendywaifus]

jane’s first morning with you | cw: none. gn! reader

— swear i tried to clean up!

jane stirrs, thin sheets rustling as her tired limbs stretch across the soft mattress. the scent she grew to love smells faint in her nose. instead, it’s replaced with a delicious smell of eggs, sausages, and. .blue berry pancakes? eyes flutter open to the morning glow seeping into the room. she lazily turns her head to her nightstand to check the clock. 7:30am. jane sits up with a yawn, stretching her arms over her head. “ this is a first. . “ she murmurs, sliding her legs off the bed and stands up. a nimble hand skims through fluffy onyx locks as she walks out of her bedroom and follows the smell.

for some reason, her usual empty home feels more lively and homey. the air feels warm and she feels like a kid walking to the kitchen for breakfast. jane stops at the doorway once she catches a glimpse of your figure pacing around the kitchen to prepare everything. there’s something warm hugging her heart, introducing to her a feeling she finally gets to experience; unadulterated endearment. jane was used to being alone, only having herself to take care of. although it’s weird to have another person in her home like this, the fact that that person is you makes it feel like everything is a perfect dream.

“ oh, jane! “ you throw her a quick smile as you put a fresh batch of pancakes onto a plate from a pan. “ sit at the table! i’m almost done with breakfast. “

she crossing her arms with a playful smirk. “ oh alright. though, i’m surprised you know how to cook, you never mentioned to me that you can. it smells good so far. are you making eggs, sausages, and blueberry pancakes? “ she inquire as she walks over to the rounded table in the small dining room and takes a seat in a chair. there’s already silverware waiting on the table for her.

“ you never asked, but yeah i do. “ you reply, sliding the eggs and sausages onto a separate plate with a spatula. “ and yup, you’re right. i wasn’t exactly sure about what a rat thiren’s diet was so i tried to make the breakfast simple and nutritious. is that fine? “

small amounts of blood rushes to her cheeks. jane chuckles and rests her chin on her opened palm. “ that’s totally fine. i don’t really have a consistent diet due to my workload anyways, sweetheart. “

you sighed, walking over to the refrigerator to pull out a cart of goat milk. “ goat milk. .huh. “ you mutter under your breath, analyzing the cart. jane’s ear wiggle as her smile grows an inch wider. “ well, i know and that’s going to change. the fact that you have a bunch of snacks and energy bars in your basement says enough. “ you grab an empty glass from a cabinet and pour a considerate amount of milk in it.

“ i mean, you don’t expect me to run around without my energy bars, right? i need my energy after all. “

“ hold your horses. i never said you couldn’t have them, i’m just saying i’ll cook you meals so you won’t need them as much, hun. “ you explained, grabbing the two plates and placed it in front of her. jane stares down at the breakfast meals. it smells very good and looks properly cooked. even the sausages are nicely sliced into pieces. the portion however, is a bit too much.

you hand her the glass of goat milk and some syrup with a quick kiss on the cheek and sat beside her. “ are you done cooking? “ jane suddenly asks, teal hues looking over at you.

“ i am, why? “ you answer back with confusion.

“ i’m the only one with breakfast in front of me. did you really cook this just for me? “ she asks again with curiosity behind her tone.

you nod your head, “ mhm. i only want to know how my cooking taste for you since again, i’ll be the one making you meals for now on. “

“ . . .i see. “ jane mutters, taken back by your genuine care for her. she grabs the fork and spoon and starts to eat the eggs and diced sausages first. a surprised hum leaves her lips as she chews. the eggs are cooked to perfection and the sausages are tender and chewy. “ judging by those wide doe eyes of yours, you like it so far? “ you smile brightly, absolutely overjoyed that she’s enjoying your cooking.

“ . .it is. the best thing i had in a while, sweetheart. thank you, seriously. “ jane swallows her food, looking at you with a smile full of adoration. is it possible to fall deeper in love with someone you already love? she wonders.

“ hehe, yeah? if you think that the eggs and sausage are good, you should try the pancakes! it’ll blow your mind like boom! “ you made a goofy boom gesture and jane nearly burst out laughing. she hopes most of her mornings will be like this with you. full of warmth and laughter. “ really now? i guess i should hurry up and try the pancakes then. “

jane grabs the knife and cuts through the fluffy pancakes like butter. before she can stab it with a fork, you stop it. “ wait, wait—lemme add syrup, you like syrup on your pancakes, right? “

“ hmm, i do. but i never tried this brand of syrup before. when i was “ working “ as a store manager of a grocery store, they have given me a surplus of goods. so some of these brands i’m not so familiar with. “

“ do you wanna try it then? “

“ sure, my dear. “

you take the syrup, open it up, and pour a nice amount of the thick liquid all over the blueberry pancakes. she pierce the pieces of pancakes with the fork and puts it into her mouth. explosions of delicious tastes floods her tastebuds as she chews. everything is practically melting on her tongue all at once. will you really be cooking something like this now for her? you watch her cheeks turn a darker shade of red, her turquoise eyes brightens with awe, both her tail and ears flutter.

“ now that’s a even better reaction coming from you—mmph? “

jane press her lips against yours in an unexpected kiss. the sweet taste of the sugary syrup and blueberry pancakes explores your tongue. chu! she pulls away after a few seconds, smiling smugly at the dumbfounded look on your face.

“ now that’s a way better reaction from you. how about you share this with me? it’s even more delicious if we eat together~ “

[feelingsdumpcaptain]

her heart isn't gone

A/N: this is literally just a bunch of drabbles put into one post :') and yes, maybe i was listening to his car isn't yours on repeat as i worked on this. i haven't written in awhile so i'm a little rusty but i can't keep editing this so sorry for any inconsistencies.

Words: 8.6k (haha whoops!)

Emily briskly makes her way toward the cafe near the hotel, hoping to get a chance at a pastry. She could feel the sun warming her back and she regrets the blazer thrown over her longsleeve. It was peak summer and the team arrived in Carmel late last night so the heat hadn’t set in yet. Now that she feels the heat early this morning, she wonders how much warmer it can get.

She tugs on the cafe door, the smell of freshly baked goods surrounding her. Her mouth waters and her stomach rumbles as she considers the different options.

Lemon blueberry muffin, almond croissant, cheese strudel, banana bread…

She decides on the lemon blueberry muffin but just as she’s about to ask for it, she watches as they take the last one and place it into a bag. Her eyes follow, seeing them hand it over to a woman at the register and sighs. 

Emily makes her way to the front and glances at the coffee menu. “Hi, one salted cream vanilla latte and an almond croissant, please.” 

Once she pays, she steps off to the side and pulls out her phone to check for any messages. 

JJ (5:53 AM): Is anyone up for a run? Morgan (6:03 AM):  Sorry, some of us have already finished our workout ;) Garcia (8:48 AM): Do you people ever sleep???

Emily huffs a small laugh. She goes to reply but hears her name called for her order and puts her phone away. She grabs her drink and croissant and goes to throw a ‘thanks!’ over her shoulder as she heads out. As excited as she is about her drink, it’s short-lived when she feels herself bump into someone else. She only loses her breath from the impact but the coffee in her hand falls from her grip and spills.

She glances down and her eyes meet yours, the one who took the last lemon blueberry muffin. Emily can admit she finds you pretty, even with the dazed look on your face as you look up at Emily. She can feel the heat rush to her face when she realizes she’s just been staring and offers her hand to help you up. 

“Are you alright?” Emily asks, giving a gentle tug. Her eyes scan your clothes. “Did the coffee spill on you?”

You shake your head, cheeks going pink. “I’m okay, thank you. No coffee stains either.”

Emily’s chest flutters at the flush on your cheeks, keeping her smile small. “As long as you’re not hurt.”

You wave your hand. “Really, I’m okay. Just embarrassed. Here.” You hold out the white paper bag, and Emily realizes it’s the muffin she wanted.

“Oh, no. I can’t.”

“I insist! Please. You spilled your coffee. Or I could buy you another?”

Emily glances at her watch and winces. “I don’t think I have enough time to wait for another one. It’s okay.”

You push the bag into Emily’s free hand. “Take it. It’s delicious. They’re known for these muffins here.” 

“Oh, okay. Thank you, then. I’m still really sorry about bumping into you. I guess I wasn’t paying much attention.” 

“No worries. I could say the same for myself.” You rub the back of your neck. “I’m kinda known for being clumsy around town. Anyway, I better go before I embarrass myself even more. If you see me here again, let me know and I’ll buy you your coffee!” You give Emily a small wave and head out. 

*

Emily leans back in her seat, glancing out of the cafe window. She arrived earlier than expected, and the cafe was still quiet. She was able to grab two of the lemon blueberry muffins right as they came out of the oven, two resting on the table. She could feel the chill in the air, but her iced latte probably didn’t help.

She hears the bell over the door ring, her eyes glancing over. Her eyes meet yours, a small smile on her lips.

“You’re here early.” You sit across from her and reach for one of the muffins.

“More like late night. I haven’t exactly slept yet, but I didn’t want to risk sleeping through the morning.”

You grin and bat your eyelashes. “Aw, you didn’t want to miss our morning munchies?”

Emily lets out a huff. “Please don’t call it that.”

“But that’s what we do.” You take a bite of the muffin, glancing at the iced coffee Emily held onto. “Is that your salted cream latte?”

Emily’s eyes narrow, pulling the drink a bit closer to her. “Maybe. Why?”

Your eyes go wide and your lips pull into a small pout. “Can I have a sip?”

“What? Why? You don’t even like the cream on top! You’ve tried this latte multiple times and each time, you say you don’t like it.” 

“What if I change my mind this time?”

Emily laughs. “You won’t.”

*

“Are you following me?”

Emily rolls her eyes. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Well, I live here so I should be asking you that question.” You bump your shoulder into Emily, a smile on your face. “Who told you about my secret getaway?”

Emily laughs. “Secret getaway? It’s the beach.”

“Yeah, but this spot in particular. It’s away from the main boardwalk and it’s hidden.” 

Emily grins, leaning into you. “I have my ways.”

“Uh-huh. So you are stalking me.”

“Stalking? Please, you flatter yourself.”

You let out a small laugh, enjoying the warmth from Emily’s body. “I’m surprised you’re not working. How did you get a Saturday night off?”

“Told ‘em I had a hot date.”

*

“Hey, I wanted to tell you something.” Emily rubs at the inside of her wrist, just below her watch. She tries to look at you but can’t bring herself to, focusing on the empty plate between them. 

“What’s up?” You wipe at the table with a napkin, gathering the crumbs into a single spot.

“Well, we caught the guy last night so I’ll be leaving soon.”

“Oh.” You pause and look at Emily. “How soon?”

“Two hours?” Emily winces at the look on your face. “I’m sorry. We’re very… we move around, and fast.”

You can only nod.

“It’s not like I haven’t been enjoying our… us. I just can’t stay.”

“No, I understand. I mean, I knew that from the start. I just wasn’t expecting you to leave so fast after you caught him. I thought you might get like, a day or two off.”

“As nice as that sounds, that rarely happens. You know what they say.”

“...What?”

Emily sits up straight and clears her throat, her voice lowering. “Crime never sleeps.”

You groan. “Ew, don’t ever say that again, please.”

*

“Hey, are you up for drinks tonight?” 

Emily glances up from her computer screen, finding JJ leaning against her desk.

“Ah, not tonight. I’ve… got plans.” Emily hopes JJ doesn’t push but this is the third time she’s missed out on drinks with the team. “Next time?”

JJ’s eyes narrow, staring at Emily.

“Stop trying to profile me.”

“Only if you tell me why you haven’t been out with us for the past three Friday nights. The first time, fine, we get it. The second time, it’s a little suspicious. But the third time? You are not getting out of it without an explanation. I will tell Garcia on you.”

Emily huffs, leaning back into her chair. “I have plans.” She holds a finger up. “That I cannot cancel or reschedule.”

“Uh-huh. And does it, by any chance, have anything to do with a certain woman from a certain beach town we may have been in recently?” JJ’s smirking now, arms crossed. “And it wouldn’t be because she’s been visiting every weekend since then, would it?”

Emily only gapes at her. “How— who told you that? How do you even know about her?”

JJ shrugs. “I went on a run every morning there that no one ever showed up for. I ran through the whole town eventually and may have seen you at the same cafe around the same time with the same woman.”

“If you know, then why are you asking?”

“I didn’t but you just confirmed it for me.” JJ taps her desk with her knuckles before heading out. “Well, maybe next week you’ll bring her along. Goodnight, Emily!”

Emily only groans, dropping her head into her hands.

*

You step out onto the sidewalk, waving to the doorman. It was almost 8 and Emily was on her way. Your heart flutters in anticipation and you rock back and forth on your feet as you wait. 

The sight of headlights coming down the street catches your attention, and you follow with your eyes as it approaches. You recognize the Jeep and get in, eyes meeting Emily’s. 

“Hi,” you breathe out, hand brushing against the one resting the gear shift.

Emily gives you a small kiss on the edge of your lips, letting out a quiet hello before leaning back into her seat. “Ready?” 

Your seatbelt clicks into place. “Uh-huh. Where are we going on this exhilarating Friday night?”

“Exhilarating? I was thinking of taking you to my place to crochet.”

“Emily.” 

“What? You don’t want to spend quality time with me? Not to mention Sergio is just dying to meet you.” She pulls away from the curb, eyes focused.

“Oh, are you ready to introduce me to your family?” You tease, leaning close enough for her to feel your breath on her cheek. “Are we taking that next step so soon? You haven’t even taken me to bed yet.”

Emily’s hand immediately falls onto your thigh, her grip tight. “Don’t start.” She hesitates, before coming to a stop in a parking lot. “But… what do you think about it?” 

You abruptly pull away from her, eyebrows raised. “What do I think about meeting your family? Emily, we haven’t even… it’s only been–”

“No! No, I don’t mean my family. Well, I mean I do but I don’t mean my parents. I meant more like my team.” Emily grabs your hand, pulling it close to her lips. “I haven’t told them anything but they have their suspicions.”

“God, Em, don’t scare me like that.” You let out a shuddered breath, closing your eyes. “Why do you want me to meet them suddenly?”

“Just… it would be nice, I think, if I could spend time with the people I care most altogether?” She glances at you, eyes wide.

“Oh, you’re good.” 

*

You felt a paw lightly pat your face, the fur tickling your nose.

“Sergio, please. Five more minutes,” you groan. You turn over in bed, trying to bury your face in the pillow that still smells like Emily’s shampoo.

You hear a laugh from the other side of the room. “You should know better than that.”

“He’s your son, why isn’t he bothering you instead?”

“Because he knows that I have to get ready for work.” You hear Emily shuffling in her closet. “Hey, have you seen that blue button-up of mine, by chance?”

You pause, looking down at your body wearing that exact button-up. You pull the blanket up higher. “Uh, no, I haven’t. Might be in the dirty laundry pile? I can start it today while you’re at work.” 

“Yeah, that’d be great.” She grunts, putting her shoes on. “Also, what do you think we should have for dinner?”

“Whatever you want, babe.” You sigh, realizing sleep is no longer coming. 

Emily chuckles, sitting next to you. “I’ll see you later, okay? It’s supposed to be quick.” She presses a kiss onto your forehead. “And maybe we can…” 

You smack her with her pillow. “Let you in my pants one time and now it’s all you think about. Get outta here.”

She laughs, resting her body on top of yours. 

“Em! Please, I can’t breathe.” You push at her shoulders, laughing.

“You seem to be breathing just fine.” She relaxes her body even more, letting her full weight rest on you. “And I’ll have you know that you seduced me!”

“That’s not true! You’re the one who wined and dined me, showing off your fancy wine knowledge and your fancy French.”

“Fancy French?” Emily chuckles, rolling her eyes. “It’s just French, babe.”

She pushes herself up, adjusting her shirt before her eyes land on you. “Hey, that’s my shirt!”

“Oops?”

“You’re lucky I think you’re so cute.”

*

It starts with a small itch on your cheek during dinner that you brushed off. As you lean back into your seat as Emily drives, eyes drooping, you think it might be a stray hair tickling your face. Emily’s talking about possibly going out for drinks tomorrow night with her team but you’ve started to rub at your eyes. 

“Hey, you okay?” Emily’s brows furrow, watching you unable to keep your hands from your face. 

“I’m okay, my face just feels a little funny.” The skin of your face actually feels so tight, especially when you try to smile. “Hey, Em…”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Was there, by any chance, Thai eggplant in any of our dishes tonight?”

“I think the curry did. Why?” 

You huff out a laugh. “Oh no.” 

“Oh no, what? Should I be taking you to the ER?” Her voice is rising in pitch, eyes darting to try and think of the nearest ER. “Baby, you’re allergic? Why didn’t you tell me before? Oh God, do you need me to grab an EpiPen? Do you even have one?”

“Relax, Emily, I’m fine, and no need for an EpiPen. I’ll be okay, it’ll go away on its own. I’ll pop a Claritin and I should be okay.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re allergic? Are you allergic to anything else?” Emily’s biting onto her lower lip, eyes glancing over to you every few minutes. “Are you sure you don’t need to go to the ER?”

“I’m sure, but thank you for caring. And no, as far as I’m aware, I’m not allergic to anything else. I do try to stay away from fava beans though. Not allergic but it does make me feel nauseous.”

“Fava beans? What the hell are those?”

“It’s usually in like hummus and falafel, but I think you can make them into a dish itself? Not sure, but again, I stay away from it in general.”

“So hummus and falafel are banned from my house, got it.” 

“Emily, don’t be ridiculous. You can have those in your house, they’re not going to kill me.” You pat her thigh. “Thank you for your concern though.”

“What if you accidentally eat it?”

“Emily,” you chuckle. “What’s the hummus going to do, open its container, scoop itself onto a spoon, and force its way into my hand?”

*

You spin yourself around in Emily’s chair, staring at the ceiling and wondering what movie to watch tonight. It’d been a long day for you, your flight being delayed stranding you at the airport for a few hours. By the time your plane landed, it was late, and there weren’t many cabs around. It felt like every part of your trip was a challenge, and you were just glad to finally be near Emily.

You glance at the meeting room she’s in and can only wonder what she’s discussing with Hotch that has her looking so troubled. 

“Oh, Y/N, you’re here! How was the flight?” Penelope leans against Emily’s desk. “I saw it was delayed.”

“You saw?” You shake your head. “Wait, don’t answer that.”

Penelope grins, sending you a wink. “You should know better.”

“The flight was okay, definitely felt longer than usual. Then when I get here, there’s like no cabs at the airport. Which, fine, I get it, it’s late but seriously? And then when I try to get an Uber, the price is like triple the usual rate!” You roll your eyes, leaning back in the chair. “I should’ve just rented a car.”

“Well, at least you made it. Are we seeing you at all this weekend or is Emily hogging you for the whole time?” 

“Ah, well, I guess that’s up to Emily. I’m up for a girl’s night this weekend.” You tap at your chin. “There is a cocktail lounge I’ve been wanting to try but I think they’re only accepting reservations.” 

“Hm, interesting. I’m not making any promises but I’m gonna try and work some magic and see if I can get us on the list.” Penelope wiggles her eyebrows. “All you have to do is convince your big, bad girlfriend to say yes to sharing you.” 

“Not a chance, Garcia.” Emily’s standing behind her, arms crossed. 

“Aw, but Emily! We haven’t seen Y/N in so long and you always keep her to yourself every weekend.” 

“Yeah, Emily, stop hogging me,” you tease, leaning forward onto her desk.

She throws her hands up. “Fine, we can do a girl's night. Pick a place and time, Pen, but tonight, we’re busy.” Emily tugs at your arm, pulling you to the exit.

“Goodnight, Penelope! Let me know about the cocktail lounge!” You wave, happy to be dragged away.

Once you get into Emily’s car, you can’t help but look at her and grin. “You don’t have to be so jealous, you know.”

She scoffs. “Jealous? Why would I be jealous? You’re not secretly dating Penelope or JJ.” She pauses. “Are you?”

“I don’t know, am I?” 

Emily pinches your cheek. “Don’t be a smartass.”

“You love that about me.” You freeze, heat rushing to your face and the tips of your ears going pink. “Emily, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking–”

“I do. Love you, I mean. Granted, I didn’t think this was when I would tell you this. Maybe at a nice dinner or home but… I do.” 

“Home?” You stare at her, heart stuttering. “You love me?”

“So much,” Emily breathes out. 

You can only smile, reaching out to stroke her cheek. “You’re something else, Emily Prentiss, but I love you too.”

*

“So… what are your thoughts on being neighbors?” You focus on the book in your hands, refusing to look at Emily beside you on the couch.

“Excuse me?” She lays her book down and turns to face you. “Neighbors?”

You hesitate before looking at her. “My contract in Carmel is ending and I’ve been offered an analyst position with the city. Here. I haven’t accepted yet because I wanted to talk to you about it first.”

She frowns, grabbing your hand. “Y/N… if it’s a great opportunity, you should take it regardless of my opinion.”

“I know but I don’t want to make it seem like I’m… being pushy? Or rushing you? It’s one thing to date someone long distance, it’s another to be in the same city.”

“Shouldn’t I be happy that I get to see you more often than just weekends?” She tilts her head. “Not only that, but if you don’t accept this position, doesn’t that mean you won’t have a job?”

“That’s not my point, Em. I just mean that maybe you might feel… suffocated. With me, here. Yes, we love each other but–”

“No buts.” She presses her finger against your lips. “But I’m hurt that you’re planning to be my neighbor.”

“What do you mean? You want me to live on the other side of town or something?” You grab her hand and move it to your lap. “That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”

“No, I mean, why wouldn’t you just be my roommate?”

You splutter. “Excuse me? You want me to move in?”

“Well, it’d make sense, wouldn’t it? If you got a place, we’d just be going back and forth between the two. Not to mention paying an unnecessarily ridiculous price for a place.” Emily begins to list the reasons on her fingers. “We have dinner together every night you’re here, you currently don’t have a car, this house is decently close to the city office, and I have the room for you. Obviously.” She leans back against the couch, letting out a relaxed sigh, and closes her eyes. “Any other concerns?”

You can only gape at her, at a loss for words.

“Now the real question is this: how much are they offering you to take the job with the city?” She opens her eyes to look at you. “Baby?”

You shake your head. “Their initial offer is for $175,000.”

“Christ, for maps?!”

“Hey! You use maps at your job all the time so you’re welcome. And I said it’s their initial offer. I’d technically be considered a senior analyst, so it’s closer to $200,000.” 

Emily’s eyes roll back. “God, keep talking dirty to me.”

“Em!” You tug at her ear gently. “You’re so annoying.”

*

You can barely hear the knock over the music you have playing, but you’ve been expecting it. Swinging the door open, you find JJ and Henry standing with bags over their shoulders.

“Ah, my royal guests have arrived for the night.” You step aside to let them in, locking the door behind them. “Are we hungry yet?”

JJ groans. “Please tell me you made what I think you made.”

You turn the volume down on the sound system low enough to not have to yell. “That depends. What are you hoping I made?”

Henry wraps himself around your legs. “Pasta chicken, please.”

You gasp. “How did you know I made pesto chicken? Do you have superpowers?” You look up at JJ. “You can put your stuff in the guest room if you’d like. Or we can set up in the living room?”

“No, the guest room is great. I’ll be right back.” She grabs Henry’s bag from the floor and heads down the hallway.

“Alright, my dude, let’s check on the food. And I made brownies for dessert.” You guide Henry toward the kitchen, stomach grumbling. “Emily also better get her butt here sooner than later, or else.”

“Or else what?” 

You jump, hand flying to your chest. “JJ, please, not everyone is an FBI agent!” 

She lets out a laugh. “Sorry, didn’t mean to sneak up on you. Habit, I guess. Did you need any help?”

You wave her off. “Nah, I got it. I have drinks in the fridge if you want some. There’s beer, wine, soda, and j-u-i-c-e.”

“Sounds good. Want me to grab you anything?” JJ tugs the fridge open, pursing her lips. “How’s the wine?”

“Don’t know, it’s Emily’s.” You let out a small laugh. “Feel free to open it.”

She shakes her head, pulling the bottle of wine out and a juice for Henry. “Her loss, I guess.”

“Whose loss?”

You both jump this time. “Christ, Emily!” You rub your temples. “I’m not going to survive like this. I feel like my heart’s restarted so many times since moving in.”

“Well, maybe if you listened to me about the music volume, you wouldn’t be so jumpy.” She tugs you close. “Sorry, I’m a bit late.”

You roll your eyes. “You know how I feel about music.”

“You have it on so you don’t feel lonely when you’re home alone,” Emily and JJ both recite. 

“Wow.” You scoff. “I don’t say it that often!”

JJ leans down to hand Henry his juice, wiping the condensation on her pants. “You don’t have to. It’s always on when we come over.”

“And it’s always on when I come home from work.”

“Well, it’s better than just sitting here in silence by myself.”  

Emily smiles, heading to the fridge. “I know you don’t like when it’s too quiet. It’s okay.”

*

Emily’s chin drops down to her chest and lets out a heavy sigh. She was late, much later than she told you. She rubs at the ridges of her house key feeling like a stone sat in her stomach. Things have been somewhat tense the past few weeks and she knows she hasn’t made it better. This is the fifth Friday night she’s missed, and it doesn’t help that it was your anniversary tomorrow. 

She’d promised you she’d be home early but the team caught a case right after lunch. She tried to keep you updated throughout the day but by the time it hit midnight, you stopped replying. Emily pushes her way in, instantly rearming the alarm. Setting her bags down on the small side table, she heads further in, ears straining to hear for any movement.

She notes the lack of music and wonders how long it’s been off. By the time she makes it to the bedroom, she’s shed her shoes and blazer. Emily sighs once more when she sees you asleep in bed, Sergio curled onto the pillow beside you. 

She makes her way to the closet, shuffling through to grab some pajamas. She can shower tomorrow morning, and maybe she can make it up to you and have you join her.

“When did you get in?”

Emily’s heart jumps as she turns to look at the bed. You’re still curled beneath the blankets but your eyes are staring straight at her.

“I’m just getting in,” she breathes out. Emily pulls her button-up and bra off, exchanging them for a large t-shirt. “Did I wake you?”

“No, Sergio did.” You glance over to the cat that’s now made himself comfortable halfway onto your forehead. “Everything at work okay?”

“Yeah, just got unlucky. We caught a case right after lunch.” She tugs her slacks off and settles into bed beside you. “Didn’t make much progress either, but the amount of bodies we kept finding were… a lot.”

You let out a quiet hum. “Make a profile yet?”

Emily shakes her head, rolling over to face you. “No, not yet. We’re missing something but we just haven’t found it yet.” She stares at you, hesitating just a bit. “I’m sorry about tonight.”

“It’s okay, Em, it’s work.” 

“It’s not though. This isn’t the first one I’ve missed, and I’m sorry. I know it might feel like I’m not trying but I promise that I am.” She reaches for your waist, pulling you close. “And I don’t want you to think that I’m avoiding you or anything like that.” 

“Emily, I mean it. I know how your job works. I’m not mad at you. Am I a little sad and disappointed? Anyone would be, but I’m not going to hold something like this over you. That’s like if you held a grudge against me every time I lose track of time when I’m working.” You tuck your face into her neck, breathing her in. “Just glad you’re okay.”

She squeezes you tight, letting her body relax. “I’m going to make it up to you.”

You let out a small laugh. “Oh yeah? What’d you have in mind?”

“I don’t know yet but I’ll figure it out. Maybe…” Emily bites her lip, thinking. “Maybe after the case though?”

“Of course, babe. I wouldn’t expect anything else.” You try to hold in your yawn, but Emily can feel it against her skin. 

“Go to bed. I’ll wake you up before I leave tomorrow.”

“Mm, tell me about your case. Not too many details though.”

Emily smiles, letting her eyes close. “You don’t wanna hear about what they did to the bodies and where we found them?”

You shudder. “God, no. Just wanna hear your voice.”

*

“Emily, hey. I’m glad you answered.” You stuff as many shirts as you can into the small luggage, holding your cell phone between your ear and shoulder. “Listen, something’s come up and I’m on my way to the airport.”

Emily ducks into an empty conference room, leaning against the door. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Do you want me to meet you at the airport?”

“No, that’s not necessary. My mom called me and– it’s nothing. Not anything bad but I just have to help her sort some stuff out.” You zipped the luggage up, doing a quick scan to make sure the windows were shut and Sergio’s water bowl was filled.

“You sure I can’t do anything?” Emily turns to look out the window, unaware that she’s started to bite the nail of her thumb. “We don’t have any pressing cases right now, I can meet you–”

“It’s okay, I promise. Stay.” You set the alarm and lock the door behind you. “Just… it’s my brother. He’s always had a tough time once he finished high school. He’s been doing good, but my mom is worried. I just need to see what’s happening and have it sorted. I should be back in a few days.”

“Y/N–”

“I’m sorry, Em, my mom’s calling. I’ll call you when I get there, okay?”

Emily sighs when the call disconnects, shoulders slumping. It’s been a good few weeks since your anniversary and things have been getting better, but it just feels like something’s been off. She makes her way back to her desk and opens a new window on her computer. 

This is wrong. You shouldn’t be looking him up. If she wanted you to know about him, she’d have told you by now. It can’t be that bad.

Emily groans, closing the window. 

“What’s wrong, my dark fairy?” Penelope perches herself on the edge of Emily’s desk. “Trouble in paradise? Don’t tell me Y/N’s still mad at you. Haven’t you been taking any of my advice? Groveling, presents, and ravishing her every chance you get?”

“Penelope, please, not so loud.” Emily shakes her head. “It’s not that. She said she had to fly home to handle some stuff that’s come up and she mentioned her brother. I don’t really know much about him and I was gonna…” Emily wiggles her fingers and points to the computer. “But I can’t bring myself to do it. That’s– I shouldn’t do that, right? It’s wrong?”

“Oh-ho-ho. The good ol’ dilemma of wanting to find out what’s going on vs. not betraying someone’s trust.” Penelope leans in, lowering her voice. “As a hacker, I say do it. As a friend…”

“As a friend, don’t?” 

Penelope darts her eyes to the computer. “I’d still do it, especially if I think it’s for someone’s safety or well-being!”

“Pen!” Emily drops her face into her hands. “I don’t know if I can.”

“Want me to?” 

Emily thinks about it for a few minutes, worrying what your reaction might be. “Just… If you do it and you don’t find anything pressing, don’t tell me that you did it. But if it’s something bad, then tell me. I need to know if I need to be there too.” 

“You got it, goth queen.”

*

“Happy birthday, Emily!” You lift Sergio from the floor and press his face against her cheek. “Welcome home. I hope you’re ready to celebrate.”

Emily smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of Sergio’s head. “If that means relaxing on the couch with my two favorites, then I’m so ready.”

“Not just that but I also have some extra surprises in store for you.” You set Sergio into her arms and give her a quick peck. “I just need to grab them. You go get comfy and I’ll meet you in the living room?”

“It’s a date.” Emily watches you head to her office, shaking her head in disbelief. “Can’t believe that’s where she’s kept them hidden and I didn’t even think to look in there, Serg.” 

Emily places Sergio onto her bed as she goes to change into pajamas. She glances at the box at the top of her closet, wondering if today would be the day. 

“Em? You almost done?”

She lets out a breath, shaking her head. Not today. “Yeah, I’m just about finished. Be there in a sec.” 

Lowering herself down to her knees beside the bed, she brings her face close to the cat and lowers her voice. “Listen here, buddy. I’m going to need you to put in some work and be extra cute and irresistible. I’m going to need all the help I can get.” He only stares and blinks at her. 

“Oh my god, I’m losing it,” Emily mumbles, scooping Sergio back into her arms to head back to the living room. Her eyes widen when she sees the gifts on the small table. “Uh, Y/N? Don’t you think that’s a bit much?”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms. “That’s rich, coming from the woman who paid for a month-long trip for my birthday and didn’t let me chip in. We also flew first class, Em, first class.”

She scoffs, plopping down onto the couch. “That trust fund isn’t gonna use itself, so what better way than to spend it on you?”

You push her shoulder, settling in beside her. “I could say the same for myself, minus the trust fund. Do you wanna open gifts first or later?”

“Mm, later. I just wanna lay here with you.” 

“Any movie suggestions?”

“You pick.” She buries her face into your neck, closing her eyes. “It’s been a long day so nothing too heavy or intense, please.”

“Taxi?”

“Again?” 

“You said I could pick!” You poke at her side, scrolling through movies. “Do you wanna do a TV show instead?”

Emily only mumbles.

“Ah, yes. Thank you for that detailed and clear answer. That narrows down my search immensely. I have a top 3 for selection.”

“Stop being a smartass.”

You laugh, selecting Taxi anyway. The movie starts and as you both sit there, you can feel Emily’s body going lax. “Happy birthday, Emily,” you whisper. 

*

“No, Emily, absolutely not. You can’t drive like this!” You argue, holding her car keys close to your chest. “Hotch said you can take the rest of the week off, so why don’t you?”

Emily only gives you a look. 

“Uhg, I know. Can’t you just, I don’t know, get a ride from someone? I can call JJ and she can swing by?”

“I’m already up later than usual, Y/N. It’s 10. The day’s already started for the team a long time ago.”

You bite your lip, glancing at your computer. You don’t have any pressing deadlines coming up so you could technically take an early day. The real dilemma is getting Emily to agree.

“I’ll make a deal with you.” You straighten your shoulders and clear your throat. “And if you don’t agree, you’re going to have to think of another way to get to work.”

“I’m listening.”

“You let me drive you to work. I can take you now and pick you up later.”

Silence.

You can feel the heat spreading on your cheeks as you wait for Emily to say something, anything. “Em?”

“Nobody drives my Jeep but me.”

“Emily Prentiss, you literally got shot yesterday. If you think for one second I’m going to let you drive with an injury, you are out of your mind.”

She grits her teeth. “Y/N…”

“Emily.” You stare at her head-on. “If you love me as much as you say you do, you’ll let me do this for you.”

She dips her head, closing her eyes. “Fine, you can drive my Jeep but if you get a scratch on her, I’m putting my cold feet on you for a month!” Emily turns around with a huff, going to grab her work bag. 

*

You can’t help but admire the new ring that sits on your finger as you sit at your computer. It’s been two hours since you clocked in but you can’t concentrate. The butterflies in your stomach haven’t gone away since you woke up and Emily smiled at you. Biting your lip, you try and focus on the map in front of you. 

Your phone buzzes on the desk and you sigh. 

Emily ❣️(9:53 AM): Get to work.

You startle, looking around the office and debating on whether you should turn the music down or not. There’s no way she’d have cameras set up without telling you, would she?

You (9:55 AM): I don’t know what you mean 🙂 Emily ❣️ (9:59 AM): I know you. Now get to work. We can celebrate again when I get home 😜

You can feel the tips of your ears go pink, locking your phone and setting it face down on the desk. Instead of getting back to work, you open a new browsing window instead and immediately search for rings. You’ve yet to find one that would fit Emily, and it’s starting to feel like you’re going to have to make a custom piece. 

Your phone buzzes against the desk, causing you to jump. There’s no way you were getting anything done today. 

*

When you swing the door open to a red-eyed JJ, your stomach drops. The way she’s looking at you is something you’ve never wanted to experience. 

“JJ… don’t.” You shake your head, the ring on your finger feeling so, so heavy.

She takes in a deep breath, her voice shaky. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. She– they said she didn’t make it off the table.”

The only thing you can hear is the music you’ve been playing all day and the sound of your breathing. JJ is speaking to you, hands moving, but it’s like no words are coming out. You can’t process anything she’s saying and you can only stare into her eyes. 

JJ would never lie to you and she would never put you through this if she knew there wasn’t a possibility of Emily surviving. She’s guiding you back inside, her face tight. 

“Y/N?”

You look at her, finally taking her in. The tip of her nose was pink, her ponytail was a mess, and her shirt was rumpled.

“Sorry, could you repeat that? I’m–” You’re at a loss for words, uncertain. 

“I asked if you wanted to stay with me.” JJ grabs onto your hands, her eyes roaming your face. “You don’t have to be alone tonight, or any night. I’m sure Henry would love to have you and Sergio over.” 

You shake your head. “No, it’s fine. You don’t need to take care of one more person.” 

“Y/N, it’s okay, really.” JJ glances around, wincing. “I think it would be best. At least for one night? And then we can go from there, okay? If not for you, then for me.”

You sigh, nodding. “Okay.”

“Okay. You stay right here. I’ll grab you a few things and then we can go, okay?”

As JJ makes her way into the bedroom, her eyes water. This is not how she wanted to find out the two of you got engaged over the weekend. Taking a deep breath, JJ is quick to grab a change of clothes and Sergio. She finds you still sitting on the couch, the music turned off. 

“Come on, let’s head out.” She squeezes your shoulder before handing you Sergio. 

You slowly stand, looking down at the black cat, realizing that he won’t understand why Emily will no longer be coming around. You take in a breath and blink back the tears as you move to turn the alarm on. “Are you sure, JJ? I can stay, really. I’m sure you’d like to be alone too–”

“I want you to come, Y/N. Please. I’d like to keep you close tonight.” JJ frowns, the indecision clear on her face. “I can’t tell you everything yet, but once things are settled, I promise I will. I just need to make sure you’re safe.”

The drive to JJ’s is a blur. It felt like it went by in the blink of an eye but at the same time, it felt like hours. As you both make your way to the front door, it feels like you’ve been awake for hours. Wasn’t it just this morning that you were making plans with Emily for Friday? You have a dentist appointment tomorrow, your mom wanted you to call her back, and there’s a deadline coming up– 

Your head throbs.

JJ pushes the door open, the lights off and the house is silent. “Well, looks like everyone’s asleep. Here.” She guides you to the guest room you frequented every girl’s night, not bothering to turn the light on. 

As you sit, you look at her once more. “JJ…”

“I know. I’m so sorry.” She presses a kiss to your forehead. “Try to get some sleep. Tomorrow, we’ll figure things out, okay? And if you need me for anything, don’t hesitate to wake me.”

All you can do is nod as you lay down, tugging the blanket over you. “This is real, isn’t it, JJ?”

She pauses at the doorway. “Yeah, Y/N, it’s real.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “And she’s not coming back.”

“No,” she whispers.

You can feel the adrenaline and nerves finally hit, and somehow your eyes close.

* 

“I don’t know how that makes me feel! Isn’t that why I’m here?” You raise your eyes to Dr. Crane, the psychologist that JJ has been forcing you to go to. “I told you from the start that I didn’t think that this would help.”

Dr. Crane leans forward, setting her notebook aside. “Y/N, in the past two months, do you want to know what I’ve noticed about you?”

You throw your hands up, defeated. “Sure, why not?”

“You insist that being here wouldn’t help you but you come to every appointment. That’s three times a week, by the way. You start the session calmly, and as the questions progress, so does your anger.” She taps her desk with her pen. “Not only that, but you’ve been unable to say Emily’s name once in any session, you refuse to answer questions you don’t like the answer to, and you frequently try to change the subject when I ask about your engagement.”

You wince, glancing at the ring on your finger. “Not much to talk about. It didn’t last very long.” 

Oh, that one hurt. 

“Look, people grieve differently, right? This is how I’m doing it.” 

“And do you think that’s healthy? Being unable to say a name? Wearing a ring that you seem to resent whenever you talk about it?” You can feel yourself clenching your jaw as you look at your hands. “Are we finished for today?” You don’t wait for an answer, but stand and grab your things. 

“Y/N, a loss is something so many people experience but very little know how to process. If you continue this way, how long do you think you’ll last before you’re forced to confront it?”

You say nothing as you storm out of the office, the frustration building. JJ stands from the waiting room, a frown on her face as she sees your haste to leave. She looks back toward the office before following you with a sigh. 

“Y/N, you said you’d try–”

“This is me trying, JJ! I’m just– I’m not ready.” You stand on the sidewalk, staring at her. “I’m not ready to accept she’s gone. Every day I wake up, thinking that I had a bad dream. I look down at my finger and I see this ring and I wonder how much longer it’ll be until I can take it off without feeling like I’m trying to forget her.” 

JJ shakes her head, hand reaching for you. “We can find you another psychologist if you want. If you think Dr. Crane isn’t helping, then we can–”

You shake your head, taking a few steps back. “No, I know. I just– I need to be alone for a little while, okay? You’ve done a lot for me these past few weeks, JJ, and I appreciate that but I just need to think.”

“Let me drop you off, then. Where are you going?” 

“No, it’s fine. I can walk. Please, JJ. Just let me be alone for a little while. I promise I’ll be okay. I’ll call you?” You take a few more steps back before turning away.

“Y/N! You call me if you need a ride, okay?” 

You throw your hand up in acknowledgment as you briskly walk away from JJ, your head pounding. 

*

They’re everywhere. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, it’s like they follow you all day long. You know it’s not true, but that’s what it feels like. Just how many people actually drive Jeeps? Maybe you’ll look at some data later.

It’s like the car itself was following you, trying to force you to acknowledge it. None of them are her’s though. That one’s sitting in the parking garage, untouched. Over the past few months, you’ve thought about selling it but can’t bring yourself to actually do it. It’s not like you drive it, but it’s just one more thing to hold onto. 

You tap at your keyboard, the posting halfway finished. This is the fourth time you’ve tried to sell this Jeep but every time, something stops you. The first time, the wifi disconnected. The second time, Sergio jumped onto the desk and stepped onto the keyboard which caused the window to close. The third time, you kept getting interrupted by phone calls from work so you just gave up. But now? Now you don’t think you should sell it at all.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” You buckle your seatbelt before looking at Emily.

“Yeah, what’s up?” She pulls away from the curb, the engine rumbling as she made her way to the highway.

“Why’d you get a Jeep?” 

Emily grins. “What’s wrong with my Jeep?”

“Nothing! Just… it’s not what I would expect from someone who works for the FBI. I feel like you’d have something more, I don’t know, practical? Discrete?” 

“How much more discrete could this be? It’s all black, even the rims!” 

“Yeah, but I imagined you having like an SUV or something. All blacked out, reinforced, or bullet-proof, you know? Not a Jeep.”

“How do you know it’s not reinforced or bullet-proof?” Emily speeds up now that she’s on the highway. “Besides, if I ever had to, I could go off-road in this baby. Wanna see?” She jerks the steering wheel slightly, causing you to let out a yelp.

“Emily, don’t you dare! If we’re late to our reservation again–”

“Baby, on our Friday night? I would never.”

You sigh, turning your computer off. You can try again tomorrow. 

*

“Do you think I should do it, JJ?” You gaze out of her car window, recognizing her neighborhood. “Or is it too soon?”

JJ takes in a deep breath. “I– I think you should do it if you think you’re ready. And if you’re not, that’s okay too.”

“I should try though, shouldn’t I?” You begin to twist the ring on your finger, hesitant. “It hasn’t been that long but it feels like it’s been years. I feel like I’ve been living without her for so long now, but…”

“Y/N, if you want to try, you can. And if you change your mind, you can always cancel or leave. Whoever it is that you’re thinking of is hopefully a good person and can understand where you’re coming from.” JJ pulls into her driveway and turns her car off. “Look, it can be a group outing if you want. No expectations.”

You take in a deep breath, chin dropping to your chest. “My coworker. She’s been… very persistent. She knows but I can’t tell if she’s genuine or if she’s just trying to–”

“Get into your pants?” 

You huff. “Yeah.”

JJ nods, getting out of the car. You follow her up through the front door, the sound of the TV on and the washing machine running. 

“Then we do a group outing. You can see for yourself and we can tell you if anything feels off, okay? Or if you want, we can ask Penelope to do a quick check on her beforehand.” 

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

*

JJ (7:51 PM): You sure you don’t want one of us to pick you up instead? You (7:53 PM):  It’s a little too late to be asking me, JJ. She’s supposed to be here at 8. JJ (7:54 PM): And if she’s as understanding as she says she is, she wouldn’t mind.

You sigh, shaking your head. The windows light up from a car’s headlights and you make your way to the door. 

As you lock the door behind you, your eyes find your coworker, Lucy, standing at the passenger door. As you approach, she opens the door.

“Hi.” 

“Hello. You look beautiful.” She tilts her head. “Shall we?”

“Thank you. You, too.” You slide into her car and it feels all wrong. The height of the car, the way you fit in the seat, the windows, even the smell. You shake your head. 

I have to try. I just want a good night out, whether that’s with Lucy or with my friends.

Letting out a breath, you try to relax in your seat as Lucy maneuvers her way through the city. Your eyes are playing tricks on you because you keep thinking that you see Jeeps in every parking lot you pass. You’re grateful when you arrive at the sports bar.

Once you’re settled in and made introductions, you find yourself sandwiched between Lucy and JJ in the booth. Thankfully JJ is on the inside, and you instinctively sit closer to her. It’s an easy night thanks to the group and you’re able to avoid any awkward conversations with Lucy because of them. 

JJ leans in close, lowering her voice. “Doing okay?”

You nod, patting her thigh. “Yes, thank you.”

Lucy stands from the booth, shooting you a smile. “Would you like a refill?”

You didn’t even realize you had finished your drink. “Sure, yes, that’d be great. A whiskey sour, please?”

“You got it.” She makes her way to the bar, disappearing.

“Thoughts?” You murmur, fingers tracing the rim of your glass.

Penelope rests her chin in her palm. “She’s not bad, my sweet, but there’s no sparks if that’s what you’re asking. Something feels a little off too, but I can’t put my finger on it.” 

“She’s nice, Y/N, just…” JJ pauses, trying to choose her words carefully. “It just doesn’t feel right yet.”

*

It’s 2AM and Lucy insisted on walking you up to your door. She’d gotten tickets for a concert and you figured you could try being with just her without a group.

“Thanks for inviting me tonight.” You rub the house key in your hand, trying to maintain a distance. Although her company is nice, you don’t think you could handle anything physical with her. 

“Of course.” She pauses, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her coat. “I know it’s late but–”

“Actually, Lucy–”

“Ah.” She nods her head, taking a small step back. “Sorry, too forward? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me. I know, so cliche, but it’s true. I thought I was ready to try again but I don’t think I am.” You try to smile, but it falls. “Everything feels so wrong right now. Not just you but just… every part of my life. I thought that if I put myself out there, it might be what I needed to get things going but, as you can see, it’s not working.”

“I figured.” Lucy pats your shoulder, giving you a small smile. “I didn’t think you’d say yes in the first place, but you did, so I think I ignored all the signs too. I’m really sorry, Y/N. If you ever want to talk, you can text or call me anytime, okay?”

“Okay. And I’m really sorry, Lucy.”

“Don’t apologize. I knew what I was doing, too. I’ll see you later.” 

You turn away and let yourself in, leaning against the door. Your chest feels so heavy and you wonder how long you’ll continue to feel this way. All you want is for things to go back to the way they were.

[syndrossi]

Here we have our pies of the day/evening/night, none of them likely to win any prizes for presentation. 😂 I used two store-bought frozen crusts, because I hate making crust by hand and only do it for proven recipes (like apple pie). They're easy to spot, each on the left and right.

Pie #1 is peach with a cobbler topping that resembles hamburger meat. I haven't made this before and there weren't any good peaches on hand, so it was made with frozen (thawed) peaches. We'll see how it turns out!

Pie #2 is my standard apple pie that I make every year. I am physically incapable of managing a beautiful crust, though this is better than last year's. I'm getting better at rolling out the dough, ever so slowly. As always, I have no idea how to avoid shrinkage under the lattice.

Pie #3 is a blueberry with an oat cobbler topping. Supposedly this is better for not getting soggy, though I don't know that I believe it worked properly. Hopefully it still tastes good! This is another one I haven't made before but the blueberries that are available right now are incredibly tasty, so I really wanted to give it a go.

The last pie, which I'm making tomorrow, is a lemon-blueberry cream (though one that is baked) in an almond graham cracker crust. Those, at least, I can make well. It'll likely be the prettiest of the bunch.

[p1aid-scarvs]

LAST ARC OF THE YEAR RAMBLES

okay this is RAMBLES rambles aka your average school essay so erm lets go!!!!!

Section 1 ✨last arc of the year✨

from what i've gleaned so far from the 30 seconds i can see on patreon *sobs in poor* the last arc is called 'battle for planet x' and im guessing the moons and planets (probably the rockies + neptune + maybe saturn) are gonna team up to somehow reinstate jupiter in the system.

theres almost definitely gonna be a confrontation between planet x and jupiter, and maybe saturn. there are multiple ways this would pan out so here are a bunch of possibilities:

1) planet x forgives jupiter after realising how important he is and backs down, either a) returning to his second orbit outside the kuiper belt, b) going to a new orbit closer to the system or c) leaving the system altogether to go join a new one or be rogue 2) planet x doesnt gaf and proceeds to beat the shit out of jupiter (and maybe the other planets asw) until a) the sun intervenes and probably kicks him out or b) rules the solar system, although this is pretty unlikely

3) option 2, but jupiter (and maybe saturn, neptune and the rocky planets & moons) smack his blueberry looking ahh outta there instead, either a) diplomatically b) crazy asteroid fight c) diplomatically, but yelling

4) a compromise where both planet x and jupiter get to be part of the system, though probably not because of the one and only gravity (curse you issac newton!!! /j)

or maybe 5) jupiter won't come back at all and planet x's manipulation tactics end up working, uranus becomes caelus (booo!!! hes iconic planet x do NOT steal that diva away from me) & essentially planet x's puppet.

obviously there's a lot of other different plot deviations possible but these are like the ones i can skim off the top of my head so im gonna refer to any other possibility as option x. because x unknown mysterious omg ahahhahha im so funny

if planet x doesn't pull a crazy plot twist and the most probable, humane and kid-friendly option (1) happens all the planets are almost definitely going to swear to NOT make any more your anus jokes because that's what planet x uses to manipulate uranus, his insecurities.

(gonna pull a side quest here and argue that uranus should've had a much more cold and stoic personality because coldest planet buuuut i'll make a rant later, not now)

however if solarballs wants to un generic itself and pulls an option 2, 3, 4 or no option at all then idfk man probably the same scenario with uranus if planet x does genuinely GET OUT!!! of here

anyways heres list of all the probabilities based on its likeliness because i am bored (most likely to least, left to right top to bottom be grateful i'm not torturing your fingers with the amount of scrolling you're doing) 1a, 2a, 3c, 3a, 1c, 1b, 3b, 4, x, 5, 2b

my personal favorite is option 3b because we haven't had any good fights in a long time live laugh moon revolution lol

Section 2: THEIA

okay so i absolutely fucking love theia and one of the first arcs of 2025 are DEFINITELY gonna be the long-awaited THEIA ARC!!!

based on jupiter's guilty ass interactions when talking about theia we can assume that he IS in fact guilty for theia and earth colliding. i searched to make sure, and yep:

source: wikipedia

venus being on the list of potential murderer surprised me ngl but it would tie into their personality

anyways here's a theory: mars knows. venus probably suppressed the memory because that's what some people do but mars probably experienced flashbacks of theia's collision with earth when jupiter admitted to brutally massacring the early rocky planets.

this is all speculative because i dont have patreon and cant see the post detailing solarballs' 2025 plans so

thats all i think

bye bye time to figure out how to get earth plushie for christmas

[nachosforfree]

I feel like William could've been fixed if Henry got a hold of him ngl.

I don't even mean in a gay way either I feel like if William was honest with Henry about his downward spiral before he started fucking around and finding out, Henry would've put an end to that shit.

"Henry I....I've found the most marvelous experimental substance called Remnant...we can live forever, Henry! I can CHEAT DEATH, I just have to find a way to HARNESS-"

"....I have already made the hefty sacrifice of befriending a white man, Bill, I am NOT befriending a crazy white man. We're gonna go to my house, you're gonna sit in my man cave, we're gonna watch the hockey game, have a few beers, eat a couple pizzas, smoke a bowl, and I don't wanna hear about this Remnant mess ever again, got it?"

"B-but this is my life's work...my research..."

"We're engineers, Bill, ENTERTAINMENT ENGINEERS, you wanna do research? Let's build some arcade games, make a kiddie coaster, none of this creepy witchcraft stuff,"

[Two 6 packs of Budweiser, three large pizzas and 50 oz of Blueberry Muffin Indica later]

"Still thinkin' about that Remnant shit, Bill?"

"....R...remwha? Hm? Nah, nah, tha's stupid...it's stupid, it's too much work, let's build an arcade machine that has a BUNCH of tokens in it, right? And you put a token in and it's s'posed to get pushed over so you win tickets...but it NEVER gets pushed over...infinite money,"

"N ow we're talkin, Bill, now we're talkin!"

FKSKKAKGJJF william knew that Henry would've tried to fix him if will was honest that's why will is never honest

[mizufae]

Due to my very strong family history of colon cancer I’ve got my first colonoscopy scheduled for Monday so I have to start eating a low fiber/low residue diet today and I’ve been avoiding seeds and nuts and high fiber veggies for a couple days and tomorrow it’s only like, eggs and maybe white rice in the morning and gingerale followed by a full afternoon of evacuating my bowels and forcing myself to drink tons of water. And let me just say, this is really opening my eyes to how much fiber I normally eat. Like, it didnt seem like a big deal until I realized that I had to go shopping especially for products made of white flour, and make a new batch of chicken stock because all my stuff is full of spices. I can’t put paprika or furikake on my eggs or cook up any veggies with them and it’s gonna suck. My default snack is like an apple or pear and some walnuts or pumpkin seeds; I eat plenty of beans and am currently really craving refried bean tacos; for sandwiches I prefer caraway rye and that’s what I keep in the freezer. I prefer fruit based desserts and baked goods with nuts in them. No WONDER I get all screwed up gi-wise when I travel and have to eat out a bunch. Apparently my preferred diet is a full list of everything you can’t eat before a colonoscopy. Like, I’m allowed to eat jello but not the red or blue flavors, which are the only acceptable jello flavors anyway. I’m allowed to have cottage cheese but I only like cottage cheese with blueberries and nuts on top. I’ve been trying to avoid high fiber foods for a couple days now in preparation and my guts are annoyed as hell with me. I crave a salad so bad right now.

[garbagefarm]

Garbage Farm #55

2024-06-12, session #55 of Garbage Farm! Spanning Spring 25 through Summer 4 of Year 5!

cast:

me ( @mothmute )

E.B. ( @blueherin )

Kimi ( @2kimi2furious )

Highlights include, but are not limited to the following:

Spring 25:

we resume the war against the dreaded beanlord

E.B. goes to process mystery boxes!

Kimi wants to expand her house, but has to move furniture first

(it's keg day)

E.B. didn't finish the boxes, but got some good stuff anyway

Kimi decides she wants to redo her house entirely anyway

I forgot the bookseller! I always forget the bookseller!

Spring 26:

dreadful bean melons (see gallery)

I commission a pond from Robin

—aaand that locks Kimi out of expanding her house, oops

Mr. Qi offers me a bunch of gems to go to level 100 of the dangerous skull cavern. I'm just gonna use staircases, idc if he judges me for it.

Alex eats a raw duck egg. Kimi considers divorce, I encourage her to stay and get duck-salmonella insurance money

3x "tucked into bed" combo!!

BEANS DEFEATED

“fuck your beans old man” (we're never doing that one again)

Spring 27:

Kimi ignores everything to work on redecorating her house

I fulfill my obligation to the skulls!

(I think this is when E.B. hit the monster goal for bats but I don't remember exactly when that was)

Spring 28:

Pond is done! I borrow Kimi's lava eel to fill it

Robin shuns Kimi once again

E.B. has new ideas to sleep on!

Grandpa Jr. visits Kimi; Wild Possum stays with me

E.B. decides to become a desperado

Summer 1:

E.B. takes farming mastery!

Planting a bunch of blueberries

DUCK ESCAPE

I drop whatever I was doing because there's a train passing through the valley! I hop on Frucko's back and ride up to meet it there!

I get stuck under a train and die. (see gallery)

(Frucko is under there, too, but he's fine)

After fining me, I get a heart event with Harvey where he talks about planes. I think he's subtly saying "those won't run you over"

I talk to Marlon about recovering my train-remains.

Summer 2:

(I forgot to take notes for this day, but I think that just means nothing interesting happened)

Summer 3:

We go to see the Prairie King movie!

(hey, Gunther, Marlon, and Gil are all hanging out in the lobby!)

I start playing the crane game while waiting for everybody to show up, pick up a few trees and a movie poster

okay, time to see the movie, aaaand ... EVENT SCRIPT ERROR??

Now it's telling us the movie has concluded? but it also asks if we want to leave without watching the movie??

movie's haunted

Summer 4?:

non-canon day!

we go and "help" Kimi redecorate by putting random things all over the house.

(Kimi gets a few ideas anyway)

-

TO-DO:

Mr. Qi wants prismatic shards. Guess I need to prep for more skulls!

(reminder to self: check grocery list next time!!)

I'm still at 3/5 masteries

Maybe I'll finally go get some cave jelly so we can start smoking fish??

I still need to set up more kegs! more preserves jars! crystalarium shed!!

(fix those stone paths while I'm at it)

Storage system could still use some refinement tbh

Gallery:

We all hate this, but it's our tradition to pose with large crops.

I am taking damage.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

hooloooo i see you rebagel a lot of stuff for mcyt... what is that? how do i watch it? it sounds so dramatic and full of lore! thankya!

OH WOW ok!!! alright. sit down because i am about to learn you a thing!!!! so MCYT stands for "minecraft youtube" and it actually encompasses a HUGE amount of youtubers/twitch streamers, minecraft smps, content, and storylines. A LOT of different creators fall under the MCYT umbrella, but the SMPs are probably what you're talking about, because those are FULL of lore. you don't have to watch one to understand another, although some might make references to other SMPs. think of it like... huge DND campaigns but in minecraft. they roleplay as fictionalized versions of themselves and do a lot of improv acting

the servers i'm into right now are the DSMP and QSMP!! the DSMP was a server owned by Dream (who is kind of a shit person which is part of the reason the server ended) but the storyline created by creators on the server like Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, Technoblade, and a lot of others was AMAZING. they created this insane story about a small nation who went to war, there was a revolution, an election that resulted in a dictatorship, and so much more. oh my god it was so cool. someone named EvanMC made videos summarizing some major plot points (playlist here), but if you REALLY want to get into it, there's a channel called Blueberry TV that's making full recap videos, and the playlist (here) has like. over 300 videos so far. BUT NOT ALL OF THEM ARE NECESSARY TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!! you can skip ahead at a lot of points, or even just find a single creator's character you like and watch vods or videos from their point of view. i would highly recommend Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, Tubbo, BadBoyHalo, or Quackity because their roleplay was consistently just absolutely insane, but i'd also recommend POVs like Fundy, Captain Puffy, DropsByPonk, or Jack Manifold if you want to explore different viewpoints! I know Wilbur and Tommy have made edited down videos of many of their DSMP vods, so that might be a decent place to start if you're curious (although searching for those in the mess of their other videos might be a hassle lol), or you can skim the wiki if you'd like (here!!!) it officially ended i think late 2022-early 2023 (i can't remember) but the official canon ending to the overall story is really up in the air, so it's mostly left to fan interpretation now.

THE QSMP IS SO GOOD oh my god. it's a huge multilingual server that started around March and is still going!! it was started by Quackity, and the plot really started when a bunch of eggs appeared on the island and the members were paired up to take care of them, with one English speaking creator and one Spanish speaking creator to a pair. eventually five Brazilians were invited to the server, and later some French creators as well!! they're all trapped on this one island by an organization called the Federation, and no one knows exactly what's going on, but there are mysteries to solve and monsters to fight and lots of found family elements in the overall plot. if you want some general recaps, the official QSMP Info channel has a couple videos recapping stuff (link here) and there are channels like Angry Thomas that make bite sized videos (like 5-20 minutes) about some general plot points. Quackity ofc has his own vod channel where you can watch his streams and learn about his character's lore. you can also skim the wiki (link here) to familiarize yourself with some of the characters. if all else fails you can probably make a post asking for the plot and throw it in the qsmp tag here on tumblr and you'll get a decent handful of people in your notes giving you a sparknotes summary. we love talking about our weird little minecraft guys

The DSMP and QSMP are so good in their own ways, the DSMP for its insane improv roleplay and the QSMP for its crazy planned events and and the way it brings multiple communities and cultures together!!! you don't have to watch one to understand the other. i suggest you only get into one at a time because they are both crammed with backstory and lore. i'd recommend getting into QSMP first because it's still going, and once you feel more or less caught up, you can probably test the DSMP waters. they can both get quite heavy in their stories, so if you need a list of trigger warnings or anything feel free to ask and i can def provide :3 if you're intrigued by either of them but don't know exactly where to start, i'd suggest the Blueberry TV playlist for DSMP and the Angry Thomas videos or the Quackity VODs for QSMP. see if there are any creators you enjoy watching and go from there!!!! consuming the stories of these SMPs is a bit difficult because there's so much content, but no one is expected to watch every single video or stream by every creator. a lot of the story gets passed around through word of mouth through the fandoms, so don't feel bad if you feel like you miss anything!!! if you have questions, you can ask just about anyone in the fandoms and they'll probably have an answer!!!

if you're interested but need a little more convincing, feel free to shoot me another ask. i will gladly ramble about my favourite minecraft roleplay characters. it's like my entire life at this point i think it's a problem <3

[sharssims]

No More Generic Kittens!!

As you may or may not know, I am doing a 100 Cats Challenge in my Sims 3 game. We had 41/100 kittens when I started to get really tired of seeing half of each litter being spawned with the same cat face - which I recently realized it's the first cat that shows up when you select to choose the breed of the cat.

It always turned out that one or two of the cats would have the mom or dad's cat face, and one or two (depending on the size of the litter) would have that "pudding" cat face. The genetic blending on the coats always turned out great though. The mom and dad's colors match in really cool ways, and the size and shape (for the non-generics) is a good blend too.

I loved those generic kittens anyway... because *sigh* they were my babies. But darn it, why do they all have to look the same, when I have all these adorable dads and of course my adorable mom Willow and I want them to have ADORABLE KITTENS, and not grow up to be pudding faces!!!

So I felt I had to take matters into Simgod's hands. 🙀

Going forward, for each litter Willow has in game, she will have a second litter in my temp/photos save. We will take the best of the bunch and --ahem-- do away with or replace the generics. I know--I hate to say it BUT!!! Simgod is simply fixing WHAT WENT WRONG.

Well, poor little Samuel III and Neko-Chan above will still get to live. Because they have names and they exist and they have been uploaded. And yes they are still (kinda) cute, even being clones of maybe 20 other kittens. But I've bred two NEW babies from Tangerine and Willow and oh mah gawd -- new non-pudding kitty babies are the best! I will introduce them in upcoming posts, along with a new kitty for Rustic, and all the newer rainbow cat babies of Aurum, Pickles, Blueberry, and more.

Now all my kitty babes will be unique and beautiful blends of mom Willow and all her handsome cat daddies. 🐱

What do you think of my sweet Willow?

Many moar baby kitties to come!

[blueberry-gills]

📰

(The following is a screenshot of a forum.)

Welcome to the Occulture Forums!

(Based off the cult-classic magazine). Please read our Rules and Regulations before contributing to a thread.

Forums > Rumors > Ultra Wormholes

April 2, 2024, 9:45 PM

Topic: Missing Kid Alola School Trip

[celadontoast:] What the title says. Anyone remember that case from 2023 with that kid on a field trip where he just went missing? I remember reading about it back then, but I don’t know if there was any follow up. Did they ever find out what happened to him? Here’s the main article about it I could find: https//www.hauolidaily.com/articles/student-still-missing-after-stor…

[>earlypidove:] oh yeah. I don’t think so? It’s a cold case now or something.

[>aerlaceventura8:] ^^^ Guy’s just presumed dead iirc. But yeah there was a bunch of media coverage for that, especially cause of the school trip thing and all.

[>toxicSTep!:] Why’s this under the UW tag?

[>>celadontoast:] Because that was the leading theory- the kid fell into one

[>clefairyfables_:] Feel really bad for his family. Doesn’t help that a lot of cases involving wormholes just...stay unsolved :( I don't think they'll ever get closure

[>>skip76:] its honestly really sad how ineffective the government is with shit like this. weve known about wormholes for like a decade now and they still cant do anything outside of say ‘oops the wormhole got him, nothing we can do’ like??? what about that recon squad they were talking with? professor burnet? hello?

[>>>toxicSTep!:] It’s more than that. Research like this takes time. It took us.... (Read more)

[>>>(View 17+ replies in this thread)]

[>xXdarkmattergengarXx:] Remind me to never go to Alola LOL. Honestly if that kid was going to that nepobaby school he probably deserved it

[>>loadeddiceenjoyer:] what does him going to bb have anything to do with this

[>>>xXdarkmattergengarXx:] How did you know I was talking about BB? Sounds like you’re one of those Blueberry Bitches yourself 💀

[>>>>loadeddiceenjoyer:] maybe its because i read the fucking article? it says right there what school he goes to. and even if i am one of those 'blueberry bitches' literally what does it matter. grow up. no one deserves this kind of shit

[>>>>Roaring_Moon_06 (Admin🛡):] A reminder that Occulture does not tolerate bullying or harsh language of any kind, especially when discussing a case involving a real person. Please keep it civil.

[(>Load more messages)]

[Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Total: 4, Members: 3, Guests: 1)]

[toxicSTep!, loadeddiceenjoyer, Roaring_Moon_06]

[holidayvisa]

23 February 2024 - Woke up in Piha at Elise's house. She had to work today, so we got up together around 6:15 am. We left her house around 7, me on my motorbike headed home and she in her park ranger uniform headed to work. I had a really great sunrise ride from Piha back to Henderson. I'm feeling more comfortable on the motorbike and more confident with the windy roads to and from Piha. They're fun to drive now, instead of scary. When I got to Henderson I was surprised to find that Arnie and Jimmy were both still asleep. Usually, they're both early-risers, but today I was up before them; needless to say, this is VERY rare 😅. I started making pancakes, something that I'd been talking about for a while. I cooked us up some blueberry pancakes, and the three of us, Jimmy, Arnie, and me, sat out on the back porch and started feasting on blueberry pancakes, banana slices, peanut butter, and Canadian maple syrup. Uncle Mitch came over from next door, and I offered him dinner pancakes; he said, no, that he'd just eaten. I got him a plate, and threw a pancake on it. After he finished the pancake, he grabbed a second one! All morning, those three were doing their best American accents talking about American pancakes 🤣 I love when they do their American accents!

After breakfast, Jimmy asked me to join him on some missions. I ALWAYS say yes to Jimmy's missions. I got in his car, and we ran a few errands. We got back home at noon, and he got a call from his work, saying that he had the afternoon off too! We went on some more missions. We bought some plants for Jimmy's vegetable garden at the local Bunnings (New Zealand's Home Depot). I planted all his plants in his vegetable garden and watered them. Hopefully they do okay.

Jimmy's really excited for Maddie to watch the garden grow. Jimmy had a bunch of chicken sausages, and I cooked those up for us. The three of us ate lunch together on the back porch.

Jimmy and I grabbed swimmies and towels and got in Jimmy's car for more missions. Jimmy had a bunch more errands to run, but eventually wanted to end up in south Auckland to go to the Chinese new year festival at the manakau sports bowl. I don't really know what I'm getting into whenever I volunteer to go on missions with Jimmy. He's got a plan, but I know what that plan is maybe 50% of the time 😅. We went to Judge's Bay and Orekei and walked around there. Jimmy showed me a couple places he likes to go to relax and get away from the hustle and bustle of the city.

We went to Joshy's house to drop off some petrol. We said hi to Joshy and Essence and the doggos, Nala, Tahi, and Ace. But we didn't stay long.

We drove to Jimmy's work to park the car, and Elise was there waiting when we arrived. The three of us caught a bus from Jimmy's work to the Chinese new year festival. We walked around and took photos of the intricate lanterns.

Jimmy bought a box of 40 donuts that we all snacked on. After spending a good long while there, we headed back to the bus stop. We waited for the bus for close to an hour, but it never came! So we got an Uber back to Jimmy's work. I drove Jimmy's car and Elise drove her car back to my house. Elise had coordinated and arranged to have sole use of the Keddle House, a cabin inside her regional park that people can't rent out. Usually, to reserve the Keddle House, one has to put in for it six months in advance, but because Elise is a park ranger, she was able to snag it for a couple days (there was a last-minute cancellation). In New Zealand, they call a beach house like the Keddle House a "bach." At my flat in Henderson, we grabbed some blankets and some clothes, and then we drove to Anawhata, to the Keddle house. When we got to the Keddle house, it was already very late. But, YOLO, so we walked all the way down to the beach. Immediately upon arriving at the beach, we saw a shooting star. That's three walks to the beach with Elise, and we saw a shooting star each time. We howled at the full moon. We sunk our feet into the soft sand and enjoyed the magic of the night.

We walked back up to the bach and passed out.

I'm grateful for Jimmy. I'm grateful for his friendship, for his positivity, for his trust, and for his kindness. I'm grateful to go on missions with him and to help him with his vegetable garden because I know he's always looking after me too. Getting to help him plant his vegetable garden is an easy way to reciprocate and show my love and gratitude. I'm grateful for Elise. I'm grateful for her organizing and coordinating us staying at the bach!

[timeoverload]

Well my day was pretty overwhelming honestly. The eye cases ran smoothly the whole day but there were so many totals and priorities so I had to help out on the other side too when I had time. There was also a person that didn't show up or call to say they weren't going to be there so that didn't help. All I had time to eat today was a blueberry muffin for lunch and an energy drink. This morning I had to choose between getting breakfast or getting to go to the bathroom so I didn't get to eat anything at breakfast. I didn't even take my full lunch. I'm getting irritated with a lot of the people in my department too but maybe that's because I spend more time with them than my family.

I spent the last hour of my day having a meeting with the director and he is trying to make changes to help me but those changes are going to take some time to be implemented because he has to talk to a bunch of people first. I appreciate that he is actually trying to do something about the issues but I have already been waiting a long time. I still had more things to talk to him about but I had to leave because I already stayed longer than I should have for the meeting. Oh well I guess. He also never confirmed for sure whether I could switch my day off next week but I'm going to assume it's fine. I will ask him about it tomorrow as long as I see him. I don't want to think about work anymore and hopefully tomorrow isn't as crazy as today was.

I'm happy that my back hasn't been hurting as much but I'm still having trouble walking so that's annoying. I'm not sure what to do about that. I am trying to ignore it for now because I don't have much of a choice.

I have no idea what I'm going to eat for dinner. I know I need to eat a lot but I'm not that hungry. I will make myself something eventually. I am out of snacks but I don't feel like going to the store. I will probably do that on Friday.

I'm also glad you aren't actually mad at me. That makes me feel better. I worry too much sometimes.

I need to try to go to bed earlier I think. I didn't sleep very well last night. I am having trouble staying focused so I think it's time for me to stop rambling now.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day tomorrow!!! 💖💖💖

[professor-amaryllis]

[a gift arrives to amy's current doorstep! it seems to be a carefully wrapped box with an assortment of unovan sweets inside; buried deep within it are two bottles of mead; a very standard mead, and what seems to be one with a small kick of figy berry spice.

inside is a small, poorly drawn card of ren hugging amy.

"Happy Palentine's Day, Dad! Heehee, I couldn't pass up the chance to send ya this when I saw they had it in the lil Cafe I've been frequentin', and I managed to score ya a few bottles!

Blueberry Academy's been treatin' me real well--I don't think I got the chance to tell ya, they're lettin' me oversee a project about introducin' Orthworm into one of the Biomes and I'm so! Heckin'!! Excited!!! It's a small project right now, but I'm so determined to see this through and make sure these worms can thrive out here, and coexist with everything here too! It's givin' me a lot of good research too, and Blueberry offers no real shortage of experiences here on the daily.

Lulu's been doin' great, but you should really see Bouton now! The lil guy's comin' into his own so well! Coriander's been gettin' started on some work becomin' a physical therapy Pokemon, and I've never been more proud of her! Soba's been a delight--I don't think you've met him yet, I gotta introduce you to this guy, and I got a Huntail attached to me (long story) I'm considerin' raisin'; she's a sweetie, real lovebug, though I'm a lil worried about raisin' a whole new type of Pokemon for sure. Like I said, though; no shortages of experiences here! That's for dang sure!

I definitely gotta come visit again at some point! Especially since there'll be less harrowin' circumstances!!! If you ever happen to swing by Blueberry, please please please lemme know! But I wanted to you to know I'm doin' good, and I just gotta know how you're doin'! Tell me whenever ya get the chance, yeah?

Love you bunches, Ren 🪱"

Ah what a wonderful thing to receive, I absolutely adore this card it's going on my corkboard for sure!

Honestly I can't even say how proud I am of you! this is a huge project to be taken on, even if you say that it's a small think, take it from an ecologist, I know well the work and research it takes to introduce a new species to an established ecosystem- even an artificial one. Don't downplay your achievements, dear, they're something to be proud of. I can see already that you're going to have quite the promising career in whatever direction that this leads you.

You know that you're always welcome at the lab, and I would love to see you. I know it's been a long while but I am finally back in goldenrod, maybe i can take you to that cafe you like again when you have the time. :) I would love to sit down and hear about all of the updates with the team and these new members as well! As much as you may be nervous I have every confidence that you will be able to adapt to caring for this new team member if you do decide that's what would be best for both you and them. You've shown great adaptation to Bouton despite never raising a poison type before, and i know that you are more than capable of the work and research, though i'll always be here for support if you need it.

Love you always, - Dad

[jedusaur]

good things this week:

my boys took out the defending champs and then took Dallas to game 7 and that... is a good thing I guess :/ no but seriously they did spectacularly well this season and I'm really proud of them and excited to see what happens next year

the Firebirds are still killing it though! my man Joey Daccord! 60 saves in triple OT! Western Conference finals up next! let's go!

hit 6 months with Steph on the same day the Kraken got eliminated so we decided to reschedule date night for a day I was not busy lying on the floor staring at the ceiling in despair, so we did our date last night and it was lovely and I love my girl a lot

UNCLE'S DAY OMFG

my brother wears red/orange/yellow tie-dye shirts pretty much every single day and he also likes Ted Lasso so I decided to get on video chat with the fam in Chicago while they watched this week's ep and it was nice to check in with them (they asked somewhat dubiously if I always watch the episodes more than once lololol)

it was my sister-in-law's birthday this week so a bunch of us filmed tasks for her to judge Taskmaster-style and I maaay have taken it a tad more seriously than some others >.> I have not received the final points breakdown but I did get to see the compilation of videos and I am certainly a contender at least

the temperature hit 90 on Monday so I got rocket bae's air conditioner set up and holy christballs my life is going to be SO much better this summer than it was last summer

made iced tea and stuck in a couple sprigs of mint from the garden and that was very nice on the hot days

one of my closest friends started watching Ted Lasso recently and in S1 she was extremely dubious that she could ever like Jamie and yesterday she got to the Amsterdam ep and messaged me that she now loves "one (1) little asshole" :D :D

had to make an important phone call about my health insurance that could have been massively tedious and difficult but actually went very smoothly and for once nobody fuckin called me ma'am

discovered a local business that looks like a great concept but the website desperately needs a copyedit, so I e-mailed them like "any chance you guys wanna hire me freelance to clean up your site" and they actually seem interested! did not really expect that, maybe I should be cold-contacting more often

made stirfry with peanut sauce and cauliflower curry and creamy fettuccine and a super tasty cheese board and then used the leftover blueberry-lemon-thyme goat cheese on a blueberry bagel with fresh basil from the garden (Mom's suggestion) and Bolivian rose salt, and all of it was delicious good job me

some of my plants are starting to emerge! got tiny lil baby radishes, snap peas, chives, and cantaloupe \o/

painted my nails sparkly gold and they look amazing in the sun

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 2/14/2023

Welp, the great "don't force myself to write when I don't wanna" experiment is over. I got real heckin' depressed and it was bad, so I started making myself write again, and it lifted. Perhaps it's a coincidence, I don't know, but this sort of holds with how the last four years of my life have been going. Trying to scrape dregs out of an empty jar isn't exactly fun, but it's what I gotta do, I guess.

Anyway, the good news is that I'm not being too mean to myself. I stole @bleachbleachbleach 's method of requiring myself to write one sentence on my WIP every day. I've managed to make it every day. One of the main things that happened (and this sort of thing always happens when I set goals) is that I realized that if I did only one sentence a day, it would take me forever to finish, which has pushed me to do more than the minimum. For the first few days of the week, I was doing about 100 words a day, which is still very paltry, but I think I've done more than that the last few days.

The thing I am working on is a story I started in 2019, which I have always been very fond of, except that it's a mess. The first paragraph is in a difference POV than the rest of it. It's mostly written in the present tense, except where it's not. Most importantly, it just sort of stops where I ran out of ideas. It's possible this was not the best possible project for me to dive into in my current mental state. I've been working on it, but I feel like it keeps getting worse 😂. Like, I re-wrote that first bit, and I just don't like it as much. Also, even though I know I should never, ever, never ever write in the present tense...I... think it works better that way? I'm seriously considering switching it back?? Also, it is primarily a world-building story, and as soon as I started on it, I realized that there were a bunch of holes in my world-building and it's been so hard to make any kind of decisions about anything. (I spent a week trying to figure out if this one guy has a wife or not. It seems like a thing I should just be able to decide except that it's also sort of the entire crux of the story)

At least I didn't have to start from nothing. The original story was about 2900 words, and my intuition is that the final product is going to end up between 5 and 10k. This is a great size for a story, the easiest size of story to write, and I'm honestly just mad that I'm so bad at all of this, and I'm worried that at the end of the day, the thing is gonna suck because I've lost my touch. Anyway, right now, it's 1768. It's nowhere near what I know I'm capable of when I'm on (when I'm really fucking on), but I'm faking it 'cause I have to, and it's going okay, I guess.

I don't know what's up with my art, either! I just don't really have any ideas I'm excited about! I did a tutorial this week with some pastel brushes, and then I turned around and did a Valentine's Day art project with the same brushes. I feel like it's probably a good time to do some skillbuilding, but, man, skillbuilding kinda sucks. 😂

The one good thing that did happen this week is that I finally made a decent loaf of sourdough! Look at these guys!!

They were so springy and good in the middle and nice and crusty on the outside! The secret turned out to be a combination of getting my starter more active generally, and actually following an every-six-hour feeding schedule the day before I baked it (the last feeding was ten hours because it was overnight and I had to get my kid off to school in the morning) It was 100% naturally leavened (no commercial yeast at all). I followed this King Arthur recipe.

The discard recipe of the week was Little Spoon Farm Blueberry Muffins, which were every bit as good as the recipe promised, if you like sweet, cakey, grocery-store style muffins. Little Spoon Farm is becoming my go-to for discard recipes, they haven't missed yet.