#I am definitely overthinking it I'm gonna come back to this later and have no idea what I was talking about

[tthoroughfare]

kerosene (part 2) // ellie williams

*･゜ﾟ･* summary: the one where she breaks up with cat.

*･゜ﾟ･* pairing: jackson!ellie x reader

*･゜ﾟ･* content: sfw

*･゜ﾟ･* length: 0.8k

this is part two of this series! find part one here

I AM ENJOYING WRITING THIS SO MUCH i literally don't want them to get together because i just love yearning so much sighhh. i'm already up to the part where things finally happen and i know i'm gonna end up posting those, then going back and writing little extra parts to slot in where they're still friends. anywayyy hope you enjoy <3

something about the conversation makes ellie deliberate for weeks. it was the way you’d spoken about your relationship just not feeling ‘right’, the way she couldn’t really verbalize anything she felt like she should say about cat. she doesn’t know if she’s just overthinking everything. cat’s great. sure, she can’t see herself spending the rest of her life with her, but she makes her happy. they have fun. they have things in common. she feels like she starts to make a mental list of all the reasons they’re together, analyzing the relationship, analyzing her own feelings. she can’t shake the notion that now they’re settled in, the excitement of newness gone, she, too, feels like something isn’t ‘right’.

she hopes it just goes away on its own. but when just over a month passes and nothing has changed, she knows she has to just do it. 

it starts off as a regular day; she meets cat at a spot they frequent, stomach churning at the anticipation. she wants to just rip the band-aid off, but she can’t. the words won’t come out. she flounders around for a while, talking about nothing, knowing full well cat can tell something’s up. finally, when she straight up asks her why she’s being weird, she just comes out and says it. she wants to break up.

of course, she feels awful. cat’s confused, and crying, and asking all kind of questions ellie can’t really express any answers to. she’s upset about it, too. but she just knows in her heart it’s for the better.

it’s cemented when she’s walking back home, realizing she feels a little lighter.

she sees you properly again about a week later, when there’s an event in jackson. she really wasn’t planning on going, not wanting to risk seeing cat (not wanting to have to interact with anyone, pretty much), but dina had convinced her, saying she ‘can’t lock herself away forever.’

she walks in late, party already in full swing, and immediately spots you in the corner chatting to jesse. you haven’t actually spoken in a few weeks, just a greeting when you saw each other out and about, but you seem happier than you were before. she kicks herself mentally when she finds herself hoping it’s not because you’ve found someone new.

she awkwardly hovers around, getting herself a drink and sipping it, people watching. these things were never her idea of a great time.

after about ten minutes, dina appears at her side, visibly tipsy. “what the hell are you doing?” she asks playfully, gesturing at the room full of people. “you’re a single woman now, c’mon. get out there.”

ellie pulls a face, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink. “yeah, that's definitely my style.”

dina lets out a short, exasperated sigh, taking ellie by the wrist and tugging her across the room, towards you and jesse. “at least socialize. you’re all… weird. more than usual.”

“oh, shut up,” she retorts lowly, but allows herself to be hauled over to the two of you. her stomach flutters slightly when she gets a proper look at you; you’re a little more done-up than normal, eyes sparkling in the warm light as you greet her.

she doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or something else, but that night is the first time things start to feel explicitly different. on one hand, it’s similar to how it was before — the odd pleasantness dissipated in the air. it feels more like a real friendship again, rather than two people dancing around each other. but on the other, something just feels… new.

she actually ends up having a really good time. she spends the majority of the night with you, drinking more than you both probably should, conversation flowing easily. and when it’s over, she insists on walking you home, despite you saying dina’s staying the night and you weren’t going to be alone anyway.

she just shrugs and smiles.

on the short walk back, dina’s chatting your ear off, thoroughly drunk, but you can’t really focus on anything she’s saying. not just because of the fuzzy feeling in your head, but because of the way you’re so, so aware of ellie’s presence. you’re walking in between them, noticing the way she seems to gravitate towards you, swaying away slightly, then back in. you cross your arms, not wanting to accidentally brush against her, not really understanding why.

she lingers at the door when you get home, dina heading straight in and kicking her shoes off, flopping down on your couch.

“well… thanks. you’re free to go,” you joke after a small pause.

ellie shoots a lopsided smile, leaning against the doorframe. “welcome.” she pauses, like she doesn’t want to go, like she wants to say something. but she doesn’t. she just taps the doorframe and stands up straight. “see you later.”

dina yells out a ‘bye, ellie’, and you wave goodbye as she turns around to leave, trying not to think about the way that smile sent your stomach all funny. “get home safe. update me on the hangover.”

she looks over her shoulder at you as she walks away, chuckling. “will do.”

you go to close the door, watching her stuff her hands into her pockets and make her way down the street for a moment too long.

[helenofblackthorns]

(this got way too long i'm sorry lol) don't even get me started on the timeline there's so much that doesn't make sense!! i've tried to map it out because i am insane but i am definitely putting more thought into this than cc herself. like, in the days past 1900 chapter cordelia mentions that she's 13, when it's literally impossible for her to be 13 that year ????

and lowkey i am just very excited to see someone else mention the mess that it is the timeline because i've been thinking about when alastair and thomas must have gone on their travel year (and also during that travel year when thomas must have gone to paris because they wouldn't just give him a holiday immediately right, like it must have been december 1902 they met, yes i am overthinking this) for years lol

my best guess is that charles arranged to marry ariadne in early 1901 but it wasn't officially announced?? it was just an arrangement/promise and then he went to paris and met alastair later that year (though i think they'd already met yikes) and they dated sometime in 1901 (where alastair would have been 16-17 /yikes/), for any of this to work i think we just have to accept that shadowhunters can go on their year abroad before they turn 18, or maybe alastair wanted to get out of the house :( and then maybe charles told alastair of the engagement a little bit into their relationship?? don't even get me started on thomas' travel year, we know it lasted 9 months, was from 1902 to 1903 and he had come back fairly recently in august (and tbh i'm gonna stretch that definition of recent and just say the thieves are all being dramatic when they're still toasting him coming back at the beginning of chog). but he also took two weeks holiday in 1902 and saw alastair (who i have to assume was secretly visiting charles since if he was still on his travel year, he could have just said that instead of being cryptic and hilarious lol) anyways in conclusion the timeline is a mess

i thought cordelia's birthday must be really late in the year but i did not realise this means it would be impossible for her to have her parabatai ceremony lol, okay i can't work out that one unless everyone's straight up lying or don't know their own birthdays

anyways i clearly think about this way too much, sorry for rambling in your inbox, you did not ask for this lmao i have just had many thoughts about timelines from like two years ago that all bubbled up to the surface when i saw your post

okay I am finally answering this, I am so so sorry about the wait </3

honestly when it comes to timelines, I think cc just kinda says things vaguely enough that it makes sense as long as you don't think about it too hard lmao. Also I did not know Cordelia said she was 13 in 1900... In order for that to be possible she'd have to be born in either 1886 or 1887. I wonder if cc just forgot she had said Cordelia was born in 1885? that seems like the only viable option here 😭

Paris 1902 is so bad because a lot of the things that contradict it are in the same book 💀 like with other stuff at the very least you can give cc the benefit of the doubt that she forgot between writing short stories and whatnot. but the same book!! insanity!!

I don't think there's any way to twist it in order for it to make sense? like something has to be wrong. best I've got is Thomas turned 18 in Jan, went on travel year for roughly 8 months meaning he gets back to London right before the start of ChoG in August. He met Alastair in Paris in like, March or April 1903 when he was finishing up his travel year and Alastair was being cryptic just because. Charles and Alastair met in Sept. 1902 when Alastair went on his travel year to Paris; Charles and Ari are already engaged by this point (technically) and every other conflicting detail gets throw out the nearest window lmao. for me at least, shadowhunters going on their travel year before turning 18 defeats the purpose, which is to go on patrol and fight demons in a different country. and if they were able to at 17, I think there's several characters who would be currently on their travel year, like James and Matthew, and who obviously aren't.

The parabatai ceremony thing is annoying because cc actual reconned it :) in the codex it says you have be in childhood to become parabatai, and this is supported by Jem in clockwork prince. however, in tfsa, Simon is still able to become parabatai with Clary despite already turning 18, so now shadowhunters are considered children up until 19 but this only applies to the parabatai ceremony because in every other aspect of life they become adults at 18. this makes sense (not). personally i am of the option that Cordelia turning 18 and being unable to become parabatai with Lucie would have been more interesting, and added some stakes that chot desperately needed. plus it would be funny if they still became parabatai in the end because Will and Jem pulled some strings (the benefits of nepotism 😌)

the timeline of tlh is one of my great enemies at this point and I've held my tongue about it for far too long, so don't feel bad about rambling! (even if it takes me 3 months to reply ���)

[sincelastsession]

This is a copy and paste of what I sent my partner in NJ today because Justin called today.

"He called me an asked me if I wanted to try to ease into sexual things and did not understand how I saw that as coercive. He was obviously annoyed when i said i didn't want to do that. Got frustrated with me because clearly he viewed it a different way and couldn't see or admit that my pov was valid. Then he continued to put things on me and he himself was innocent. I went ahead and just took the blame because he kept telling me he was just trying to help me overcome that and then maybe somehow we'd be compatible. He got snappy and told me I was wrong when I was like "we just agreed the other night that it's better off we are friends and I feel that you are more focused on sex" and dude just couldn't see wtf I was trying to point out. He fucking brought up the zoo and how he felt that I was more focused on you with my phone...even when I was just tryna take pictures and just also show you and be able to share the pictures with him later...he never to begin with clarified that he wanted me to only focus on him because he originally didn't seem insecure or threatened by me talking to you...but like idk...like I just had everything put back on me. I told him he was coming across insecure and the fact that he wanted to be platonic friends but then calls me up today to ask me if I wanna work on stuff sexual aimed but then tells me that I have the wrong idea and that's not all he cared about then pointed out everything I did wrong which was just me being affectionate and myself because I was comfortable to begin with and like I in the end of this stupid fucking 3hr conversation we're gonna just be platonic friends.

I had to break down to him that I had no intention nor did I want to hurt him but I didn't agree we were compatible. Because like if my very simple trauma response of just pulling away made him feel rejected (he wouldn't admit this) was so upsetting then no he could not handle a bigger trauma response or a ptsd episode (which im on the verge of) Also my autism etc he had trouble with. I was fucking so polite in telling him he needed to find someone else and that I think he makes a better friend anyway. I'm so pissed and I have feelings of guilt because I know what rejection feels like but holy fuck. I'm absolutely crying my face off."

Followed by because I was in major hypervigiliance this message I also sent.

"I am irrationally worried that anyone I speak to right now further is going to be upset with me and I am about to shut down.

I'm also worried about you because I know you're having a difficult time and I'm mad that I'm shutting down and I wanted to show you support today and I feel like a terrible excuse for a person"

His response was "Hey, no, you’re a great person. This dude just sounds like a nightmare, is he like super young or something?" I replied with "no he's 37" he replied with "LOL oh my god" and "Yeah this is a mess"

I spoke with BFF Travis who calmed me down more, he's good at that because his brother Chris is very much like me in the overthinking and being high functioning autistic. He told me it was definitely not my fault and that dude has problems and I didn't do anything wrong and I didn't need to let him down easy and be any nicer to him.

I was very frustrated because I was having trouble articulating and fawning etc during the call with Justin. I told him it really seemed like sex focused and coercive and he just kept telling me I was wrong. I did understand his pov but he didn't understand mine and it was 3 HOURS of me explaining why we weren't compatible and just taking the blame. Then agreeing that friends was fine and apologizing over and over if he was hurt because I know how rejection feels.

This image really explains the mood.

I need to talk about this. My mind is not going to let me rest otherwise.

I need to give permission for you to speak to my mom to get a family therapy with her scheduled please.

I also need to schedule an appointment that Travis will come to. He had some things he wanted to share and I think it's a positive good idea to have him come in.

I do still have concerns over a dissociative disorder. I'd like if we can watch for that over time. I don't know what your experience is though so I understand it may not be possible.

I find that in some sessions I'm composed and the last one I know I was a huge mess but it's blurry in parts of my mind.

I'd like to draw out what I mean when I say I feel like I'm sorta strapped in and not in control sometimes. Basically a mind map but probably not a mind map you may ne thinking of. More like an actual visual of what I usually experience.

I did have a nice time at my friend's birthday Tuesday evening. It was near a little creek at highland Park. A picnic. I found a cool horse or cow tooth near the stream. The people were lovely and I'm trying to plan a day to do some art with my friend Sylvia. I also got a very good recipe for rose lemonade if you want it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I really am tired.

I'm waiting on Hannah to call me. She's been ok. Not pulling me in her drama so far and respecting my boundaries. I like that. It makes me wonder if I'm more into women that I previously thought. On my dad's side of the family many people are queer. I've been trying to find my place in the queer community and where is safe to meet like minded people.

I'm really scared of dating apps.

I'm also just really scared to connect with people because I'm attracting people that aren't good. I'm an absolute magnet for it.

Travis told me as an addict in recovery that because of what I've been through and because I'm kind and I miss cues that people are gonna take advantage of my kind nature. I don't think I'm that kind but the census with most friends has been that I am indeed a kind worrywort.

If I drink I just basically turn into a mom and this was pointed out to me. So that's sorta telling.

The people pleasing has to be murdered Joshua. I feel like that will be incredibly difficult.

I feel like my interrupting is triggered by something but also I believe it's neurological because I spoke to my mom who said it's not a thing I've always done. It's hard to pinpoint where that started. It was definitely over 28yrs old for sure. I think it was due to abuse but I did back then get laced weed from someone who wasn't my safe dealer...that's when I took a drug store test popped for PCP and COKE. I'm terrified that it may have fucked my brain up. Other than that I think it was just my dad being a miserable angry abusive person, Me having not irl friends at that time because Kelley and several friends passed and I was isolated and there was lots of insane stuff.

Anyway I'm missing comedy night now because today went batshit sideways and I'm trying so hard to decompress. I haven't smoked my medical weed yet but a bowl and a bubble bath are sounding nice.

I'm hoping that we are going to continue working together. I do need gentleness very badly and currently cannot take tough love style.

I do at some point want to chat abt the ketamine treatment after I speak to my psychiatrist again to see if it really would be ok and when would be a safe time to go get those treatments.

If you aren't doing EMDR with me and do find me difficult. Could you help facilitate helping me find an EMDR therapist.

Lobotomy is last on the list. (Sorta joke)

Like this is gonna sound so ridiculous but sometimes I wish I could just take my brain out and just put it in a gentle cool bath and pat it dry and plop it back in there.

The stellite ganglion blocks (sp?) Are of great fascination to me and if I could just afford to go get it done to give my brain a goddamn break I would.

Some people have good results with those.

[lovova]

I think I’ve just been thinking about it too long but, like, Kaito is just Nagito with more social skills and less murderous impulses.

[kim-seung-mo]

hi! could i request skz reaction to you getting pregnant? 🥺 pls ignore if this makes you uncomfy tho!

𝕎𝕙���𝕟 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝔾𝕖𝕥 ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕘𝕟𝕒𝕟𝕥

♩ fem!reader, fluff!! pregnancy (obviously) but no childbirth, some of the boys get hella emotional so crying, but mostly pure fluff

♩♩ word count: 1.1k

♩♩♩ A/N: there is a request that follows prompt #22 coming up...i just don't know when i'm getting to it kkk

wip list here

Chan

Speaking of how Chan found out you were pregnant... It happened on a quiet afternoon.

Your period was a few weeks late, which was a bit unusual.

Curious, you bought a pregnancy test and decided to take it.

The result turned out to say that you were pregnant.

You scream in terror and Chan immediately rushes up from downstairs and bursts through the bathroom door.

"Baby what's wrong?" he says with a worried look on his face, scanning you up and down to see if you're hurt.

Then he froze when he saw the pregnancy test in your hand.

"Is that...what I think it is? Are you- Am I- WHAT???"

He acts even more panicked than you do.

Minho

You've been acting a bit off lately and have lost your appetite for his cooking.

At first he was a bit upset, but he didn't want to show it because he was ashamed.

He didn't dare to ask you why, so he just sulked by himself.

Only later, after calming down and thinking for a while did he realize suddenly that you might be pregnant.

"Y/N, let's go to the hospital for a check-up." He suggested to you.

You agreed to his request, figuring that it had been a while since you last went there.

It turned out that you were indeed pregnant, and almost two months already.

Of course he was happy about the fact that you were pregnant, but he was mostly glad that you weren't unhappy with his cooking.

"Do I look relieved? You're overthinking it Y/N...I'm just happy." That's not a lie.

Changbin

He is very observant, more so than everyone around him.

He noticed before you realized yourself that you were pregnant.

It was him who bought the pregnancy test for you and asked you to take it.

After the results came back and he knew you were indeed pregnant, he put on a smug look of pride.

"See, I told you that you were definitely pregnant."

It took a few minutes before he finally realized that this was a very, very big deal.

Then he'd pick you up and spin you around so many times that you felt like you were gonna pass out before he put you down.

"I'm going to be a dad! Y/N! I'm going to be a dad!"

His next nine months were spent protecting you as if you were a fragile piece of furniture.

Hyunjin

"Jinnie...I have something to tell you......"

He looked up and saw your very serious look and assumed that you were breaking up with him.

He instantly gets red-eyed, the words "please don't leave me" were about to leave his mouth when you suddenly hand him a hospital test report.

He didn't have time to look down, he just saw the words "test report" and panicked.

"What's wrong? Are you sick? Is it serious? You're not going to die, are you? I-" "Jinnie, omg, just please read what it says."

He lowered his head and read it carefully, then his jaw dropped to the floor.

"It's not April Fool's Day, is it?" "It's Valentine's Day." "It's not a custom to pull pranks on Valentine's Day, is it?" "Omg Hyunjin I'm pregnant!!! Is it THAT hard to believe??"

(insert meme of a shocked Hyunjin)

On a more serious note, he'll probably get down on his knees and kiss your belly, telling you he'll love you forever.

Jisung

You were the one who told him you wanted a baby, so when he found out that you had succeeded in bearing a child, he thought nothing but joy.

He was in bed with you that night thinking about baby names.

"It's only been a few weeks, we don't even know the gender of the baby yet, what's your hurry?"

Instead, he just shook his head and clutched your hand in excitement.

"I can't wait, I need to think of it now, Han Ji if it's a girl and Han Sung if it's a boy!"

You hit him on the head.

But it still gave you comfort to know that he was as excited as you were for the birth of this child.

The next day in the JYP building you could hear him shouting from three floors away, "I'm going to be a father!!!"

Probably writing songs for his unborn child right now.

Felix

"Felix, I have something to tell you, but promise me you won't get too excited."

He blinks, then nods slowly, waiting for your next words.

"I'm pregnant."

The entire box of chocolate chip cookies he was carrying all fell to the floor.

Then all that came out of the room was a scream, and the other three members who lived together all came out rushing over, thinking someone had died.

They pushed the door open only to see Felix on his knees hugging your leg and crying.

The three of them thought you were breaking up, only to find out after asking in detail that you were pregnant.

"Why are you crying?" "I'm just... I'm just......just so happy."

Refuses to leave your side for more than three meters for the next nine months.

Seungmin

Thought you were trolling him and waved his hand like it was no big deal.

"I know, I know, you're pregnant, aren't you? Next time try to find a more convincing-"

You flung the hospital test report in front of him.

His eyes widen and he freezes for a few seconds before slowly lifting his head to look at you.

Then, forgetting everything he had just said, his whole body lunged up.

Carefully avoiding himself from crushing your stomach, he arches his back and rests his head on your shoulder.

"When did you get pregnant? How long has it been? Oh my god this is wonderful news!!!"

You've never seen him so excited and overjoyed.

"I'll take responsibility, don't worry, I promise I'll be a good husband and a good father!"

Jeongin

He's so young and life has barely begun for him......he could even be called a 'child' himself.

When you first found out, you were even torn about whether to tell him or not.

But lying to him was not something you wanted to do, so you decided to tell him the truth after thinking about it.

You didn't expect him to burst into tears.

"Innie, why are you crying? Do you not want the baby... If you don't want it -"

"Of course I do! I'm so happy... I've been dreaming about my days with you lately, about forming a family together, about that happy life.....Y/N, thank you for making my dreams come true, really......"

He would want to rub your belly every now and then, talking to the baby when the embryo was only less than two months old.

But even though he seems a little childish now, you have no doubt that he'll make a great father.

[riku-writings]

ADMIRATION

Pairing: Mitsuya Takashi x Fem! Reader

Summary: Reader likes to fantasize about The Home Economics Club Leader's Hands.

Warnings: Smut with a smol plot, Fingering.

A/n: I am not really sorry about this ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡,,, inspired by that one megumi oneshot in wattpad that i read ages ago. . .((edited hundred times since i just realized now that some of the smut parts were messed up even though i checked it multiple times,,, I'm sorry for the confusion i hope i got the order right ಠ,_｣ಠ)

Wc; 2k

It started with just an innocent admiration of him being a charming dude, that's all. The guy's a good student, an overall husband material with his sewing and cooking skills. He was heaven sent with his overall visual ( dyed hair, piercings and his eyebrow slits). Everyone knows he's a delinquent because of that Pehyan dude who would fight with Yasuda-San just to excuse mitsuya out of the club. Despite his delinquent bg, Mitsuya was respectful and patient. Making every girl and boy swoon over him.

A bad boy with a soft hubby side. Best of both worlds they would say.

You were part of it. The Home Economics Club, they were lying if the whole club wasn't a simping club for the one and only Mitsuya Takashi. It was only yasuda and you who took the club for extra credits. The others well, you could say they were there to see him. Eitherway everyone was cooperative and hardworking.

Not only were you with him in that club. You were his classmate. Even better, his seatmate. You always get a view of his charming side profile.

You find yourself just staring at his features, from his long lashes to his pointed nose, down to his lips. Sometimes his tongue would dart out, out of pure concentration. (You noticed this whenever you try and get his attention to check your work in the club)

Your eyes always latching itself down to his hands. Not that you're a complete freak but you appreciate it. Like if someone asked you what body part attract you the most. You would definitely answer, hands.

His hands were the prettiest especially when its enclosed with those rings that has a cross engrave on it. It was veiny, fingers elongated and a bit bony. Nails cleanly cut. His wrist always had a silver bracelet on it. You don't know why was that attractive.

You had an unpopular opinion that it was soft to touch. You wonder if your thoughts were true. You can feel yourself blush at the thought of him just holding your hand.

You can't help it but you just stare at them with pure admiration. Due to this, you noticed how he liked twirling a pen around his middle and index finger. Fascinated, you tried it once, though you failed. You not knowing he was looking at your failed attempts. Grinning.

"y/n are you listening?" A voice called pulling you out of your own embarassing thoughts. You look up at the owner of the hands you've been staring at for a while now.

"U-uhm yes?"

"Tell me how did you end up with this then?" Mitsuya raises his brow, your messed up fabric lifted up by him. The girls around you giggled at your clumsy behaviour. You retrieved it. "Ehm, I'm sorry leader can you explain it again?"

"Alright, listen this time dummy" He says with a teasing grin, ruffling your hair gently. He sat next to you. Using the seam ripper to remove your mistakes. You just stared at his fingers pointing at where you should redo it.

You wondered how he would shove it in your mo—

You mentally slapped yourself. As you crossed your legs together at the sudden image that came over your mind. "You okay? y/n?" Mitsuya stared at you noticing how you pressed your thighs together. "Hmhm" You responded.

"Leader! can you check this?" Another called out for mitsuya. He stood up and pats your shoulder.

"alright, I'll leave it to you then" He smiled.

The next days you tried to scold your mind for having intrusive thoughts of Mitsuya and his hands. Unfortunately, your mind developed a sudden kink with it. Making every imaginary situation more. . . . lewd.

"Hey Y/n! Hold up your hand" Your classmate suddenly called you lifting his hand towards yours. You knew exactly what he was trying to do, since he's been busy tryna do that with the other girls this morning. "Eh? I don't want to." You replied.

"Bet if mitsuya did it, y/n would do it!" Another classmate of yours shouted from the back. You raised your middle finger, continuing on cramming your homework.

"Leader~ Can you do that for us~" The boys teasingly called mitsuya. Who was back from his lunch raising an eyebrow at them. Hands pocketed "Do what?"

"We're just comparing hand sizes" They shrugged lifting up their hands. "Y/n won't let us~~"

"Eh? Stop bothering y/n." Mitsuya say in his deep voice his feet landing a hit on their butts, before proceeding to you. The men in the back groaned.

Bending to meet your gaze. He grinned "Now you owe me, work on your missed templates with me later" The lilac haired boy reminded. You just rolled your eyes on him mocking a tongue out. He chuckled. "And I thought you just saved me, leader."

You stayed with him in the club room. Doing your templates beside him. Him just handstitching a bunny like doll. The room slowly darkening as the sun sets. He turned on a lamp beside his table. Slowly the other girls started to leave the club room, waving their goodbye's to Mitsuya.

"Hmmmm you've been spacing out lately, are you okay?" He coughed softly referring to your messed up works recently. Eyes going to you.

"Me? spacing out?" You acted dumb, you scoffed in a fake manner. Brushing your hair with your fingers to shake off your stiffening state.

Not meeting any of his gaze, you just continued to sketch.

Did he figure it out? Did he catch me staring at his hands? Nah I need to stop overthinking.

"Alright then." Silence invaded the whole club room again. Your eyes roamed around realizing the rest of the girls left already leaving you two alone.

"Hold your hand up." Mitsuya suddenly commanded. Eyes going to him, you raised your brow. "I wanna know— our hand difference." He explained raising his hand infront of you. Placing his doll down the table.

"You know the boys in our class are just a bunch of perverts right?" Speaking like a fucking hypocrite, your actions didn't match up with your words. Almost instinctively, you faced him holding them up. He pressed his against yours.

Your insides melt at this gesture. Your theory confirmed that he has actually, soft hands.

"You have cute small hands" His lips curled up, slowly his fingers intertwined with yours, locking it with his. "Well yours rough" You lied, cheeks burning as you looked at your connected hands. "Is that so?"

Abruptly, mitsuya pulled you close to him. Making your other hand rest on top of his shoulder. His face centimeters away yours. Lips almost brushing.

"So is this what they're trying to do with you?" He asks in a low voice his eyes piercing through you. Craning his neck, curious.

"Yeah. . . " You broke eye contact. "Good thing I stopped them." He chuckled, eyes closing. He leaned back. Patting your head.

Funnily, that interaction with him didn't stop your thoughts. Actually it made your whole dirty secret worse. Just seeing him tapping his fingers on his lips as his chin rested on his palm. Made your mind run thoughts about the things his hands would do to you.

You leaned back looking around the morning peace in the clubroom. You were always the first one to go here. Since it's more quiet that way.

You closed your eyes craning your neck side to side. Loosening up a bit.

What would his fingers feel wrapped around your neck— no. no.

You shifted on your seat, pressing your thighs together. Mentally slapping yourself.

Changing your attention, your sight caught your pen. Picking it up you tried to do that cool trick again. Trying to twirl it around in between your middle and index finger.

"Ohhh you're trying to do it again?" Mitsuya popped out of nowhere. You jolted a bit, making him laugh. You clearly didn't see him coming in.

He hovered behind you, his chest pressed on your back as he rested his hand on your desk right beside yours. He leaned in observing your half-done project. "Again?" You asked head turning towards his face.

"Well I saw you trying to do this"

He pulled his other hand up grabbing your pen, his fingers did it in ease. "no need to brag leader-san" You tell him grabbing your pen back. "Looks like you're gonna stay with me again later" Mitsuya mentioned pointing at your work.

After classes you proceeded to your clubroom already, knowing you're gonna take so long with your project. Though you were greeted by yasuda leaving you with her tasks because apparently she also had friday plans like the others. The others always had friday plans that it would leave you, yasuda and mitsuya with the work.

"It's okay yasuda-san! I promise to clean up and remind leader to lock the door!" You assured her, she then finally nodded. "Fine fine— Also don't let that slimy delinquent distract leader" She added, you nodded giving her a big thumbs up, she then waved her hands leaving you all alone with the mess of excess papers and fabric from this morning.

You tied your hair as you clean up the place before doing your own project. You actually sat on the front desk as you look around feeling satisfied. Finally continuing your hand stitch. (You gave up after breaking 3 needles into half with your machine.)

You stay seated on the front desk, comfortably doing your own project. Humming a few songs here in there. The door then slid open.

"I'm guessing yasuda san has plans?" Mitsuya came in seeing you on his desk. "yup" You nodded eyes focused on your stitch. Sudden fingers gripped your knees.

"You should stop manspreading in that skirt" He scolded you pushing your knees together. You shivered at his touch against your skin. Due to this sudden awareness of his hand still gripping your lower thighs— you accidentally pricked your finger on a needle.

"Ouch." You hissed as you saw your finger starts to ooze out blood. "You're so clumsy" Mitsuya clicked his tongue removing the cloth on your hands bringing it down to the side. He grabbed your hand and started sucking on your finger.

"U-uhm" You widened your eyes as you saw the sight of mitsuya sucking your index finger. You blushed profusely at this. "Eh? I- I — you didn't have to do that" He finally let go of your finger.

"I don't have bandages on me—plus that always does the trick" He says wiping it. You just nodded looking around. "Tsk what is it that got you distracted again hm?" He questions furrowing his brows he leaned closer to you. He layed his hands on the table, locking you in.

"Ugh you really want me to say it huh?" You groaned. He craned his neck to the side. Waiting for you to continue. "Okay— I may have a small admiration towards your hands. . ."

"Admiration?"

"Well it was honestly innocent at first until it got all dirty and as much as I wanted to get it out of my head you suddenly do things to me"

"And what was my hands doing?"

"Mitsuya . . "

"No dove tell me" He said as the choice of endearment shoot straight to your core. Making you shift on your seat.

"hm shoving it in my mou—"

Mitsuya shoved his middle and index finger inside your mouth. Your cheeks burn at the sudden action. His other hand held your waist, holding you closer. "You like this?" He asked with hooded eyes. Your tongue twirled around his finger, he slowly discarded them letting out a popping sound as it came out of your lips. Feeling your chest warmed up down to your lower belly.

"Is this why you're so distracted lately? because you're too busy thinking about my hands?" He then held your chin with his fingers as he hummed. Lips inching closer to yours. You just nodded feeling feverish. "Do you want me to kiss you?"

Once again you nodded. You can feel the growing lust underneath your skirt. Pressing your thighs together to relief the heat. Mitsuya following the movement. His eyes went back to pierce through yours.

"Say please" He smugly commanded. You pouted.

He taps your lips. Wetting it with your own spit.

"Please kiss me."

Mitsuya leaned in to claim your lips, you lightly gasped as his lips finally touch yours. Closing your eyes, you melt into his kiss. He smirked at his before his hand on your waist went up to your hair tie, pulling it to let your hair flow against your shoulders.

He then licked your lips, instinctively you opened your mouth allowing him to enter his warm wet muscle inside. You whimpered at this, feeling your feverish state get warmer. Spreading all over your body. He caressed your cheek as he kissed you deeper. His other hand caressing your side, slightly brushing up against your chest. You hummed against his lips.

Biting onto your bottom lip he licked it. Before leaning back, placing a soft kiss on yours before taking in your whole panting visual.

"Do you want me to touch you, dove?" He questions, his thumb now pressing onto your bottom lip. His left hand went down on your thighs, softly pinching them.

"Please touch me, takashi"

With that his fingers indulged inside the band of your damp underwear. "Hm you're so wet, princess" He hummed letting his finger brushed up against your folds. You squirmed under his touch, your pussy clenching around nothing.

"Is this what you're thinking about in class?" He whispered next to your ear, placing a hot kiss on your cheek. You nodded, biting onto your red lips. As his middle finger continued to slide so easily with your wet slick. Up and down teasing both of your sensitive clit and your pleading hole.

You then felt the pad of his fingers teasing circles on your entrance, you looked at him with glossed eyes. He licked his lips seeing you practically begging for it.

His other hand held the back of your knees spreading your legs to gain more access. You leaned back supporting your weight with your hands.

Letting your skirt ride up, He bit his lips as he saw your ruined flimsy panties with his hand in it. You just looked at him with a pout wanting his fingers to penetrate your hole. "Please" You plead him trying to grind into his hand. Without caution he plunged his two fingers in your heat.

You bit back a moan. "Don't hold back now, dove." He said with a smug as he felt your hole clench around his fingers. "I-I can't takashi" You say feeling little under him. He chuckled at your pouting lips before placing a kiss on them. "Acting shy now huh"

Mitsuya curled his fingers inside making you squirm. "Don't move." He warned before pounding his hand into your writhing pussy. His long fingers hitting your soft spot almost immediately. You moaned letting your forehead clash itself against his. "You're taking my fingers so well baby. So noisy" He said referring to the slick slapping sounds of your wet pussy. You blushed at this ashamed on how you were making a mess on his hands.

"Aa you're so lewd— bet you've touched yourself multiple times thinking about this" He said adding another finger in your hole easily. You sobbed at the sudden feeling of fullnes inside "Hmm too much"

"Too much? you're a good girl you can take it" He says kissing your cheek once agaib. He thrusted his three fingers into your hole curling it up to feel your spongey walls clenching into him tighter.

"Mmn t-takashi—k-kiss" You mumbled feeling yourself itching up to your own orgasm.

"You want a kiss baby hm?" He hummed as his thrusts got harder and faster. Knuckles deep, the tip of his fingers hitting your sensitive spot. You purred nodding, He kissed your lips deeply making your moans muffled. You felt hot inside you as you panted trying to comprehend everything that he was doing to you. With that you felt your orgasm continue to build up. Your head leaned back breaking off his kiss, grinding back into his hand. Mitsuya felt yourself tighten continuing to hit on your sweet spot. Your own wetness beginning to drip down.

His thumb finally taking notice of your abandoned nub. He played with it. You squirmed as you feel it burn against his thumb.

"'m close" You squeak biting onto your lips. "Go on baby cum on my fingers" He said littering kisses on your neck, hands pounding into you harshly. With those words and his thumb rubbing your sensitive clit. Your thighs started to fidget. You closing your eyes shut as you panted.

You came onto his fingers. You let out a whiny moan as His fingers slowly ride out your high.

"Good girl" He said pulling his fingers out your panties. Your eyes opened seeing him cleaning his fingers clean with his tongue. He smirked as you lolled your tongue out. He placed his fingers on your tongue, letting you lick and suck them clean.

"You look so pretty like that, dove" He say as you finished pulling his fingers out popping out of your lips. He held your waist with his arms, moving you closer again. Leaning in to kiss you softly this time on your forehead. "How was that?"

"Better than what I imagined actually"

"C'mon it looks like we have friday plans too" Mitsuya said kissing your lips. Bringing you down the table. You smiled.

[orangeyougladitsbondage]

Our first scene...

I had met her through some friends and we hit it off instantly. She was so beautiful and I couldn't help but get lost in her eyes as we talked. This talking led to an exchange of phone numbers and the first text from her later that night. The text was nothing special just a simple "Hi this is Megan, really glad to have met you today". I responded that I was glad to have met her too and then we fell into a rhythm of talking via text every few days.

Then one night that texting turned into a phone call and a sly joke about being tied up with work led to an interesting conversation. Megan told me she had always had an interest in kink but was always scared to bring it up with her previous partners. I told her I had slight experience being a Dom but that I was a switch meaning I play both sides of the dynamic. Megan seemed extremely curious and we decided to do a dinner date that Friday.

That day seemed to take forever, I mean don't they always? You get excited for something and then it seems the thing before that event takes forever? You could just sit there and stare at the clock but that just makes time freeze. So I tried to focus on work but it was harder than it should've been to do so. But finally it was time to leave work and I rushed home to get ready.

A quick shower to freshen up, brushing my teeth and then picking out what to wear. I decided on a nice button up with a vest, not too fancy but also not under dressed. My phone went off it was Megan "Hope you aren't planning to skip out on our date now, not gonna get cold feet with it being only an hour away are you?". I responded "Definitely not a chance of that happening, see you soon".

The ride to the restaurant I just played some music that keeps me calm. Dating with anxiety can be hard because the anxiety triggers my overthinking and only leads to bad things. Well not exactly bad things it just leads to me overthinking how things could play out and being scared to do them. So I played a Playlist I made that keeps those thoughts at bay. And before I knew it I had arrived at the restaurant. Now the one thing I've learned is it's always best to be early even if your date isn't just shows what you are there for is important.

Time again slowed as I waited for Megan to arrive. Car after car pulling in and the thoughts of did she get cold feet begin to sink in. Overthinking sucks so much I wish I could get rid of that part of me but alas I can not. Finally I see her walking towards me and it must've put a doofy smile on my face because she just laughed and said "what?". I just said "I am glad you made it" as I opened the door to the restaurant and followed Megan inside. I told the maitre d the name on the reservation for two and they sat us at our table.

A drink and some food later and the conversation finely made its way to kink. I asked Megan what her interests were. She admitted she really liked the bondage aspect, seeing people helpless but smiling. She also really liked the different gags but she had never tried any. I asked Megan if she had any experience with impact play and she told me she had been spanked before but not much else but that she would love to try more. I asked if she had any experience with being submissive or dominant in her past relationships. Megan stated she always seemed to take the submissive role in her eyes but that both roles interest her.

The conversation went back to normal from there just talking about our days and plans for the coming week. The check came and I paid for the meal while Megan covered the tip. I walked her to her car and wished her a safe drive home and I left smiling the entire walk to my car. But that was where our conversation stopped until later that week anyway. Wednesday I get a text that says "so I really enjoyed dinner and our talk and I'd like to explore things further with you".

Now this had me blushing at work do I asked when Megan had free time and we could set something up. Megan told me her weekend was free and I asked about her Friday night. She was free so we decided we would do another date Friday night and if she still wanted to she could follow me home and we could have a scene. But before we do that we had to discuss limits and how we wanted to scene to play out.

So via text we discussed how Megan would like our scene to play out. She said she would like to be bound and I told her I had some cuffs that can help with that as well as some hooks in the ceiling that they can be attached to. She also stated she would like to try some impact play but nothing too crazy this time. I said never anything too crazy your limits determine what we do and how long we do it. I asked if she wanted to try using a gag and she quickly replied yes and I said ok and listed the options I had.

I have a ball gag, a ring gag, bondage tape and well a clothes pin. Megan decided on the ball gag which is always a lovely choice in my opinion but you'll hear more on why soon enough. And then we discussed safewords and signals for when she was gagged. The safewords chosen were the traditional red, yellow, green and for the signal we went with her opening and closing her fist multiple times. I advised we would do a test run before we got into the scene just to make sure we were both on the same page.

The next two days of work went by like a snail and I don't think that is at all surprising. But as the time began to tick down Friday the excitement in me built. Again I drove home and freshened up this time just wearing a button up and the drove to the restaurant for date number two with Megan. Now I know only two dates and you're thinking me and Megan are about to have sex. And to some that may be the point of bondage or bdsm sure but not to me. And if you think back no where in our scene discussion was sex mentioned so that was not on the table for me at all.

So I arrived at the restaurant and this time me being dressed down a bit but Megan did not. Megan arrived in a lovely purple dress that hugged her curves in all the right ways. My gosh I couldn't help but freeze as she got closer and just take in the beauty in front of me. All I could say was wow as I opened the door and followed her in. We ate and as we did I made sure to tell Megan not to rush herself we have all night ahead of us and rushing to eat won't help. I know this from experience as rushing to eat absolutely ruined a scene in which I was the submissive. Take your time let your food settle and don't worry about time I said and smiled.

I think this helped Megan relax as she slowed down and we just had a wonderful dinner and chat. One of those chats about nothing in particular but both parties enjoyed it. I couldn't believe that I was lucky enough to get a second date with her let alone the honor that would be her submission later that night. On this night no drinks were had by me I just wanted a clear head for the nights events which I think is important when I lead a scene. So finally the check came and I asked Megan if she was sure about how she wanted this night to go.

Megan smiled and said I'm very sure and she grabbed the check and quickly handed it back to the waiter with her card. Now that is a simple move but oh I definitely took it as a power move by her. She just had this smirk afterwards that drove me wild. I left the tip and said alright you can either follow me to my place or we can come pick up your car tomorrow your choice. She then decided to follow me home and I thought to myself as the drive began how lucky I was.

The drive felt like forever but it was only maybe 20mins tops. When we got to my place we went over safewords and the safe signal and made sure we were on the same page. Then I brought up aftercare because this is a extremely important piece of the puzzle. I wish I had learned this in a better way but I think our bad moments teach us to be better. Knowing what the other person needs for aftercare is extremely important. And I can say based off experience I will never do another go with the flow scene again. Because it led to me not knowing what a partner needed and them not telling me what they needed but saying I failed.

Hearing from someone you cared about that you failed because you didn't have all the information. That is the worst feeling and one I was not going to repeat with Megan. So Megan being new, she wasn't sure what her aftercare needs were but we agreed on cuddles to start and we would go from there. So I went into my room bringing out cuffs, my ball gag and a length of rope I attached the rope to one of the ceiling hooks. I then sat next to Megan and had her put her hands front of and I secured to cuffs to each wrist. "Now we can do this with your lovely dress on or we can take it off, whichever makes you more comfortable" she smiled and leaned in next to my ear. And with a whisper she said "Oh I am making you take this dress off so you can see whats underneath" and with a giggle she stood in front of me and turned around.

I stood and slowly lowered the zipper on the dress. Then slowly slid the dress down her arms and then down her body. Underneath the dress she was hiding a lovely matching purple lace set. I couldnt help be admire her ass for a moment as I let my hand slide down it. "Wow, you came dressed to impress today didn't you?" I said with a smile as I spun her around after having he step out of her dress. "Well you only get to do your first bondage experience once may as well amaze you the first time right?" She quipped with a smirk.

I giggled and agreed with her as I clipped the cuffs together. "Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked and she confirmed that she did. I walked her over to the hook and had her turn around so I could put the ball gag in her mouth. Once the gag was in place I had her turn around and connected the rope to the cuff chain. "Well look at you all helpless and oh my already drooling" I said with a smile as I wiped up some of the drool leaking down her chin just to show her. She turned a lovely shade of red on her cheeks and I could see the smile in her eyes.

I stood there for a bit just watching her lightly struggle and test the bonds that held her. Now for me I really like gags because they lead to drool which I really enjoy for many reasons. But the other thing I really enjoy about gags is the muffled talking and moans made by the wearer. So as Megan began to struggle I enjoyed watching her slowly drool more and more and the cute little sounds she was making. Watching the drool slowly cause more and more of a shine down her chest.

I went and grabbed my flogger and then turned on the TV. "Well you seem very content there, so I'll let you go about your struggle and see what's on TV." I said and giggled. Megan tried to say you're mean but all that came out was mumbles. "Awwwww you poor thing you have to speak up if you want me to understand you." I started a random show just to make it seem like I wasn't paying attention all the while I kept watching her hands for any signal that she was done or needed to stop.

A few minutes and plenty of drool down her chin later I stop watching TV and walk over to her. "Are you doing ok?" I asked and she nodded and I asked "would you like to do some impact play with this?" As I slid the flogger over her chest. She thought about it for a moment before nodding and mumbling out a "yes please". I start with a few hits watching her to gage her reaction and making sure it's not too much. "Would you like me to do more?" I ask and she nods. This process continues for the next several minutes, me continously asking if she is ok and would like more.

I stop when her butt has the same shade of red as her cheeks did. I quip with a giggle "Awww seems your underwear isn't the only matching set you have now is it?". I untie the cuffs from the rope and then take the cuffs off of her. I then unbuckle the gag and slowly massage her jaw. "Are you ok?" I ask and she says "more than ok that was amazing". I hug her and tell her how proud I am of how she did there and that she took it all so well. I then grab a cup of water and a paper towel.

I hand Megan the cup of water as I slowly clean up the drooly mess she had on her chest. Then I grab a blanket and wrap it around her shoulders. "Would you like cuddles?" I ask and she nods a yes and I lead her to my bedroom. We lay there in my bed for about the next hour and Megan actually drifted off to sleep for about 45 minutes of it. When she awoke I grabbed her a quick snack and some more water. I told her again that I was so proud of how she handled that and asked if any of it was too much. She told me that she felt it was perfect and asked if she could stay the night as it was now 11pm.

I told her that she absolutely could stay and we sat there just talking about how the scene went. She told me that she enjoyed all of it including the impact play and would love to do more in the future. Now it was the next sentence that excited me a bit. Megan turned and smirked at me and said "maybe next time you'll be the one bound and I'll get to make your cheeks match" I began to blush unable to hide the fact that I would absolutely love that and she smiled at me and then kissed my cheek. "I will take these red cheeks as a yes to that then" she said with a smirk as I cuddled her and we both drifted off to sleep.

[anzcty]

Analysing Episode 6 Sylvie - her actions, her choice and a whole bunch of theories (Spoilers!)

After watching the Loki finale, I have been scrolling through Tumblr for quite a long time. I already knew that people's opinions were gonna be incredibly different but I definitely did not expect this much negative backlash. Especially when it comes to two specific topics - the Sylvie and Loki kiss and Sylvie's betrayal (/choice/actions). I'm gonna be talking about the latter, for it is another time I'll talk a lot about Sylki's relationship. (Beware that this post is also really long though)

First of all, everyone has different opinions and I respect that. I absolutely adore movies, books, TV-shows and videogames because despite what's happening within the story, each viewer has the opportunity to see something else in what they are shown (besides the obvious canon). What I mean is that everyone interprets certain scenes differently and gains the opportunity to make up theories. Therefore I want to clarify that I do, by no means, want to force my views upon others. It's nice to see people talk about the Loki Series (as long as it doesn't get too negative and hateful, iykwim) because every viewer can share their specific experiences with it :)

I'm gonna analyse Sylvie's character a bit ( because, well, I'm bored and I kinda wanna protect my beloved character that I've only had for a few weeks >:^0 AND the only thing I could think about the past day was this episode) and try to explain her actions in the finale (keep in mind: not justifying them, but explaining them).

I'm terribly bad at concentrating on one single topic point so I kinda made a 'list' with questions and whatnot that I wanted to dive deeper into. Your thoughts are also more than welcome!

I already want to apologise for grammatical mistakes, for I am not a native english speaker.

Sylvie's reason for being taken away by the TVA is still kinda unknown

You know, I've heard quite a few theories about Sylvie's nexus event by now. Some people say that she got taken away because she was playing with her toys in a way that indicates her having a good heart (playing as a Valkyrie and wanting to save someone, another hint may also be the reaction she showed towards someone else who got kidnapped by the TVA, yelling at the soldiers to "help them out"). Another theory is that she already knew she was adopted, unlike Loki who found out way later than her. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but we never got to hear the actual reason why Sylvie got kidnapped. Even Renslayer didn't say a word about it.

Now I'm gonna come up with yet another theory. What if Sylvie didn't really have a nexus event in the first place how we know it? In the final episode, Kang has said that he has planned out everything beforehand so both Loki and Sylvie would end up right in front of him. Did Kang's plan also possibly involve him getting killed by Sylvie? Hear me out: We don't actually know if the Kang we saw in episode 6 is the actual 'nice' Kang and not one of his evil variants. He has already talked about 'reincarnation', so who says that after ending the first universial war, Kang didn't reincarnate into someone with an unpure heart (aka, one of his evil variants)? That'd mean that the real Kang would have been killed and the Kang we've seen in the finale is actually an evil version that simply lied to both Loki and Sylvie. Besides that, we also don't know if Kang actually had that 'point' where he didn't know what would happen next. The show revolves a whole lot around trust, not only regarding the characters, but also the viewers. Who's to say that Kang said the truth? Maybe he planned it all out: He created the TVA, let Sylvie get kidnapped and therefore give her a reason to hunt after Kang, who in return could reincarnate if he got killed OR get killed and therefore give his other variants a possibility to conquer the universes yet again. Don't you think that it was kinda suspicious that Sylvie escaped so easily out of Renslayer's hands? The one person who's probably closest to Kang? (Even though, yes, she doesn't know who he is but Renslayer seems to play a very important role in his plan). What if the Kang we saw was the nice Kang though? Would he plan everything up to a point where another universial war would break out because he might know that there is indeed something/someone out there who could end it and therefore, possibly end Kang as a whole or create a new kind of system revolving around the universe? And therefore, get rid of the possibility of another universial war happening? Who knows. I am definitely overthinking and reaching at this point. One more thing that stood out to me while thinking about the episode again today (which kinda weighs more into my theory of Sylvie being a keypoint (or rather a puppet) in this plan): Kang has talked about his Tempad and that he knew that he would need it to have enough energy. But for what? Yes, his initial idea was to give it to Loki and Sylvie to rule over the TVA, but what if it was supposed to be used for another reason? Sylvie used it to transport Loki back to the TVA (though I kinda think he was accidentally transported to another timeline, hence the reactions of both Mobius and Hunter B-15) and therefore get rid of the only thing that could prevent Sylvie from killing Kang. The Tempad was used to secure Sylvie's path and therefore eradicated Kang's only option of safety. You can see the Tempad loosing it's glow after Kang was killed, possibly due to Kang himself being the origin of it's energy. But maybe, it only had enough energy for one specific action: getting rid of Kang's protection. I do think that Sylvie is now stuck at this place and somehow has to find a way back to Loki's reality. The Tempad clearly doesn't work anymore (at least in my opinion) and there was quite a long shot showing the Tempad up close, which is kinda suspicious tbh. Also, something regarding Sylvie's unanswered nexus event feels kinda odd to me, too.

My theory in conclusion: Sylvie (and Loki) are unconciously helping Kang with his plan (a big, big, BIG plan). They're his puppets, especially Sylvie, because she's the one who created the Multiverse to begin with. Think about Loki, who was said to be manipulated by Thanos in Avengers? It's basically the same train of thoughts.

Sylvie does not take Kang's offer into consideration

To be honest, this was something to be absolutely expected of her. Sylvie was kidnapped as a child, taken away from her home and family, and had to grow up in countless apocalypses where she could never form a real bond with anybody because she knew that those people were all going to die anyway. (Please don't judge me if I got that wrong, maybe I understood the next thing wrong? Idk, if so, I'm very sorry) She revealed that she was kidnapped way before Loki was even born (something I have to think about, too, because, if Loki is the actual Loki the other variants are based off, why did he exist after Sylvie? Wouldn't that make him a variant of Sylvie instead? Idk timelines and parallel universes are hard to understand for me :') I'm kinda stoopid ), therefore she must've had spent several decades of her life running away. She had no life at all. Her only goal was to bring down the TVA and whoever is behind it, driven by pure rage, seeking out revenge for stealing her life and basically forbidding her existence. And now that she has found said person, the only thing that'd be right for her character would be to go for the kill. As immoral as it may sound, it is the only thing that makes sense. And I am actually very happy that Sylvie's goals didn't change besides the fact that she did indeed soften up a little and has gotten someone really close to her. In contrary, it makes sense for Loki to do the exact opposite. His goals have changed. He does not act the way he did in Thor or Avengers anymore. He has found another goal for himself: to make Sylvie feel alright. He has had immense character growth and didn't take a chance to change his goals back in the Thor movies or in Avengers, (....maybe later in Thor: Ragnarok, kinda). This is exactly what I think might happen to Sylvie, too. She is at the beginning of her character arc. She doesn't take the chance to change her goal, but goes for her original goal instead. Said goal does not really have positive consequences (though, maybe it might have some? We're about to find out), which results in a so called 'negative character development', which Loki has already gone through. I think that Sylvie is gonna grow as a character in season 2 and get a positive character development in addition, just like Loki did. I highly doubt that she's gonna become the antagonist, it does not make sense at this point.

Why does she not take Kang's offer (besides her very obvious intention ofc)? That leads straight (or not so straight, pun intended) to the next thing I wanna talk about. Sylvie's distrust in everything and everyone. Besides not wanting to let other people go through what she has been gone through and wanting to let people have a free will, she also does not trust Kang with his offer of 'ruling' the timeline. And it might be because she also does not trust the one she'd be ruling with: Loki.

Why does Sylvie not trust Loki?

I don't even have a specific answer to that, except that Sylvie has an incredibly thick wall built up around her. Loki has always been portrayed as the one you should not trust because he's known for backstabbing people. Loki could have thought the same about Sylvie, but he didn't. Due to his character arc, he himself has learned to trust other people and tries to redeem himself with making himself a person others can trust (He may project that onto Sylvie, meaning that he puts his trust into a Loki variant and therefore in himself, too). You can connect that fact with both Sylvie and Mobius. They're both people who are incredibly important to Loki. He wants them to trust him. He openly told Sylvie about his mistakes and tells her that he's not that person anymore. Sylvie on the other hand does not trust that easily and is - in my opinion - a very important key regarding Loki's character development. It is incredibly hard for Sylvie to trust others (probably due to her trauma) and it therefore creates a very difficult situation for Loki, where he has to 'prove' himself as trustworthy. It's basically about 'trusting yourself' if you put it that way. It's something Loki has to learn about himself: not betraying the trust of others. Sylvie might have to learn something like this, too: learning to trust someone else. It's kinda like a two sided coin - one side is about putting trust in others, whereas the other is about gaining trust from others (and what you do with it). (Good) Relationships in general are always based off trust and honesty. So in order for them to be able to have healthy relationships with others and themselves, they have to learn about trust within themselves (I hope you understand my point, I got carried away, sorry). Loki started to trust Sylvie very easily (maybe because of love? Maybe because of something else? There are still a lot of unanswered questions) whereas Sylvie doesn't trust Loki very easily. Sylvie's character arc might (hopefully) carry on with this topic in the next season.

Was that kiss initiated due to emotional or practical reasons?

Kinda both, somehow. I do think that Sylvie used the kiss to her advantage but you can also clearly see how moved she is while hearing Loki's words. Facial expressions are insanely important when it comes to acting and both Tom and Sophia delivered perfectly. You might've already heard of the quote "The eyes tell more than words could ever say". Look at Sylvie's face when Loki tells her that he wants her to be okay. She is teary eyed, sighs even. She is indeed touched by his words and I strongly think that Sylvie also has non-platonic feelings for Loki, despite barely showing anything.

Here's a snippet out of an interview with Sophia:

(Source)

Both Sylvie and Loki are said to be people who can not trust others. They both have a vulnerable side though. Loki clearly showed that several times when with Sylvie (singing to her, the blanket scene, the comfort scene in the room of the timekeepers, the confession of wanting her to be okay) and is also shown incredibly vulnerable at the end of episode 6: there are several shots showing him, crying. Sure, we have already seen Loki cry a few times beforehand but this time, it's different. He cries because the one person he is the most vulnerable with doesn't trust him, and that does hurt like hell. By the way, if you look at the close-up shot of Sylvie after she yeeted Loki back into the TVA, you can see pain in her eyes, too. But that pain quickly shifts into rage and determination. Something that I have to admit was incredibly well executed by Sophia and the people who directed this shot. Sylvie does show her vulnerable side for a brief moment before putting up her walls again and reaching for her goal.

In conclusion: I think Sylvie initiated the kiss as an emotional response to Loki's words but also used it to distract him to be able to kick him back into the TVA at the same time. Keep in mind that it was because he was in her way of fullfilling her goal. She didn't want to kill or hurt him, so she sent him away instead. So, yes, I think the kiss had both emotional and practical intentions.

Did Sylvie betray Loki?

Even though it really felt like she betrayed him, she didn't. Let me tell you why:

Loki knew exactly what Sylvie was gonna do after reaching the person behind the TVA. Loki supported her all the way up until Kang suggested a deal to them, that's where Loki's and Sylvie's paths divided. Loki is a very smart character, he outsmarts a lot of Marvel characters and therefore I think it's very in character for him to consider one part of the deal and outweigh the pros and cons. Not because he wants the throne, no, but because he wants Sylvie to be okay. A universial war could lead to countless casualties - possibly those people close around him, so of course he would want to keep her safe through that decision. Making them both rulers over the TVA and the sacred timeline would probably guarantee a strong protection from several threats. Also, maybe he thought about the possibility of Sylvie regretting her decision (which she clearly did in the end) and wanted to protect her from even more emotional pain. But as we know, Sylvie's intention has always been laid out in front of her and it didn't change. Loki knew what choice she was going to make and merely tried to change her way - without being successfull.

I don't really know what to think about this scene though. To me, it doesn't meet the requirements of a 'betrayal' but at the same time it does feel like one. It's very difficult to explain :'D

Also, I've seen some people asking themselves how or if Loki will ever be able to forgive Sylvie for making her decision. Let me assure you one thing: he will forgive her. He has said it himself: "I know what you're feeling, I know what you're going through". He has been at Sylvie's point, too. Not only once, but several times already. He seems to have learned from his mistakes, Sylvie has yet to do so. ("I betrayed everyone I've ever loved" is a line to keep in mind now, too. Maybe it could even be projected onto Sylvie this time, because Loki is indeed very dear to her) If there's someone out there who can empathise with Sylvie the most, it is Loki.

Why would Sylvie straight up cause another Universial War?

As I already said. Sylvie's arc is a negative character arc. It does not end well and causes a lot of chaos. Think about Peter Quill in Infinity War and his rage moment on Titan. They could have had the infinity gauntlet way before but Peter got emotional (understandable) and therefore destroyed the chance of an early good ending. The same happened with Sylvie. Her decision was mostly emotional, but also practical on the other hand (giving people free will and freedom). She will face the consequences and I'm pretty sure she's gonna redeem herself and tries to help fix the big mess she has caused.

Sylvie's breakdown

Another scene that was absolutely brilliant was the scene after Sylvie has killed Kang. She backs off slowly and then slumps to the ground, breathing heavily (now that I think about it, I think she even started to cry). She has waited for this moment her whole life, but now that it's done, it kinda feels like she didn't exactly get what she needed. Hunter B-15 has already mentioned it before that Sylvie needs to hunt the person behind the TVA down, unlike Renslayer, who only wants to find out who it really is. Although Sylvie might have recognized that this wasn't everything she needed at this point. We already got to know that she didn't have a clue what to do after she's done with the TVA. She didn't have a goal beyond that. And now that she has reached the point where she is clueless, she might have recognized what she really needed beyond finishing her goal: friends, a life, literally anything that doesn't make her feel alone. And she literally just kicked that one thing away from her. Loki, the one person who has been closest to her and gave her the feeling of not being alone anymore, the feeling of having a friend (or someone more than a friend), has been pushed away by herself. I think that in this exact moment where she sinks to the ground she recognizes that not trusting Loki was a mistake this time and that revenge isn't enough to satisfy her forever.

But maybe that one thing that will satisfy her for a long time is something she's returning back to in season 2. I am so excited to see her again and find out more about Sylvie's character!

Thank you so much for reading this! If you want to add something to this list or correct something or anything, feel free to do so. I'd love to hear your thoughts on Sylvie's character in the finale and what you think might happen with her in season 2 :) see y'all, stay safe and have a nice day/night!

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

Too Daze Gone (Joe x Reader)

(Happy birthday to me! You’re all going to suffer. This is a little something that I wrote over 2 1/2 years ago based on a concept that I thought of three years ago; one of the first ideas I ever had for a Def Leppard fanfic. I made some very minor edits to it ((since I’m not 17 anymore)), and honestly, this is still one of my favorite things that I’ve ever written. But I know you guys are gonna have my head for it later...)

Prompt: It’s December of 1989. You and Joe are recently married, the world has now officially entered the post-Hysteria era, and- well...

-----

December 1989

The soft morning sunlight was seeping through the plane’s window right next to you. Joe’s head was resting on your arm, and you used your opposite hand to stroke his hair soothingly. He had one hand on his stomach, along with his green eyes closed and shut away from the world. The plane was flying steadily now, but your minds were anything but steady at the moment. There was so much to say, but no place or time to say it. It was almost as if you two were having a telepathic conversation; there was so much thinking between you both, yet nothing was being said.

“You alright, Joe?” the voice of a London guitarist broke your attention from the window. He’d strolled over to the seats where you and the man in question were sitting, and let his concern get the better of him.

There was far too much concern going around today, so Phil's question was rather unnecessary.

“Oh, he’s fine,” you answered sweetly, knowing that Joe didn’t want to answer, and also not wanting to give Phil any hint to your invisible nerves, “He’s just feeling rather sick is all.”

Phil sighed, “Ah, yeah, the turbulence wasn't the greatest.”

You decided to go along with Phil’s theory of why Joe wasn’t feeling well. After all, it was believable.

“Yeah, we haven’t been awake that long, either. You know how he can be in the morning. He’s just sick of the day, really,” you lightly joked. Today was not necessarily a good day for jokes. There was a deep, underlying sadness beneath the surface of everybody's tone no matter how much they joked around.

“Oh, so he’s got morning sickness, I see?” Phil joked along, trying to lighten the universally tense mood, “Well, congratulations on the pregnancy, Joe.”

Your heart jumped and you forced a chuckle at the statement. You felt Joe’s heart jump, too.

“Thanks, Phil,” Joe cracked a gentle smile for him as he walked away. You could feel how forced the smile was as Joe slowly reached out and squeezed your hand. He was definitely more worried than you.

“Shh, I know. I’m worried, too,” you whispered to him so quietly that you could barely hear yourself, “But we’ll deal with this later.”

~18 hours earlier~

You weaved your hands together with the utmost anxiety as you waited for Joe to get back from a small trip to the supermarket. As you waited, there was no stopping the racing thoughts in your mind. Once one thought appeared and rooted itself within you, it was impossible to keep it from rolling into a snowball of others. It was driving you absolutely mad on the inside. Keeping calm on the outside, however, came rather easily. It almost felt like second nature at the moment. Of course, you knew that was all going to change the second Joe got back.

Everything was going to change the second Joe got back.

When he did come back, you immediately stood up and went over to him, trying to be casual and lighthearted.

"Hey! How was the store?" came the greeting from you. Your voice was nearly on the verge of breaking from the tension of the whole situation.

"A fucking treat," he grumbled sarcastically, putting four bags down on the table, "The whole bloody place was packed, the service was piss poor, traffic on the way back, you name it."

You kissed him on the cheek for a few seconds in consolation, quickly making his small dimple appear as a result. Normally, it melted your heart to see him smile, but this time, it made it almost vibrate with worry. It hurt to see him happy now, since you knew it wouldn't last long.

He turned and put his hands on your waist, "I suppose it was worth it to get back to you, though."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, quickly pecked him on the lips, telling him, "You're too kind. Now let's see what you've looted up on-"

Desperate to distract both of you from each other, you turned to the grocery bags and started to pull the items out. You did it in a sped-up manner to keep your hands from shaking too visibly. You had no idea when to mention what had to be mentioned.

"I'll tell you what," Joe spoke up, his annoyance still audible in his voice, "The service down there was so fucking slow. Took me a half hour to get four bloody bags worth."

"I'll say you took a while," you impulsively decided to create a segue- any segue- that may get you closer to your fated subject. You blurted out "You’re late."

As he continued pulling out the groceries, he cocked an eyebrow, and asked without looking at you, "What do you mean I’m late?"

"Just, you're late, that's all," you shrugged, the anxiety overwhelming you more. It was getting close to the subject now.

"I'm not late," he chuckled, still not looking up or fully understanding you. You both often liked to joke and tease each other, so this wasn’t anything strange to him.

"No," you stated calmly, going completely motionless with fear, “But I am."

He didn't completely comprehend what you had said. He began to put away the groceries and asked you obliviously, "What do you mean you're late?" Late for what?"

You pressed on, remaining rooted to a motionless state and staring at him, "No, Joe... I’m late."

"You mean that this month you didn't get your-" he started off normally, but then paused as the penny dropped. He froze, and dropped the can he was holding. Your heart sank in your chest at his reaction. Now was the time to talk about it, and you could sense it wasn't going to be pleasant. Part of you began to think that this is how it might end for you two.

He turned around, looking almost mortified and whispered, "Oh my god... are you...?"

"I don't know..." you were shaking now, "I'm just assuming."

For a moment you both stood there, staring at each other, lost for words.

Another impulse suddenly arose within you, and you blurted out again with a wavering and worried voice, "I-I hope I'm not, Joe, and I know you don't want me to be, either, because now is not a good time for this to be happening! You’re at the peak of your career, and we’ve got the new album on the way, then you'll be on tour again- and-"

"Hey, hey, shh," Joe moved forward and put his hands on your arms, "Calm down... it's okay, it's okay. First of all, who ever said I didn't want this? You can't just assume that I wouldn't be okay with it... and I'm not mad- really, I swear! Second of all, this isn't set in stone yet. We'll have to find out if you are first, and if you are, we'll... then we'll make it work out somehow. Don’t think too much just yet; try to relax.”

You blew out a shaky exhale and muttered, “Yeah, okay...”

“Have you been sick?"

"No, but something just feels... off."

"How late are you?"

"About a week..."

"Have you been this late in the past, but gotten your period anyway?"

"Yes..."

"Then we don't know for sure," he kissed the top of your head, embracing you and reassuring, “So what if you're late? That doesn't have to mean anything! I'm worried, too, but we can't just jump to conclusions like this. I wouldn't even put the stakes at 50-50 right now. All this worrying is probably over nothing. You could just be overthinking."

You turned your head and attempted to look up at him to say, "But this is a child, Joe... if there's even a small possibility that this child exists, we've got to assume that it does... we can't just ignore it for too long."

"You've got a point, you've got a point, but just for a second, genuinely consider the possibility that you're not-" he didn't dare say the “p” word, "-you know..."

You sighed into his shoulder, fighting back against tears that wanted to fall, "Okay, okay, you could be right, but there's so much that might have to be done- we can't just put this off..."

"We can until we know for sure," he suggested, "If it's worrying you so much right now, then I'll run out to the corner store and pick up a test. We can sort this out once and for all. How long did you wanna wait before taking a test?"

"I don't know, I don't know," came the drawn out reply as a few tears spilled from you, "Maybe a day or two or three, but I'm just getting so worried that it might be true, I can't wait anymore."

"Okay, then you won't have to wait anymore," he tilted your chin up to give you a quick and thoughtful kiss, then wiped away your tears, "I'll run to the store quick and buy us a test. Is that okay?"

"Yes, please just do it. I'm sorry- you just got back from the store and-"

He laughed and squeezed you tighter, swaying with you in his arms, "Ah, don't worry about it; it's a necessary trip now."

"You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would."

"What'd you think I was gonna do? Leave you?" he chuckled lightheartedly, though he guessed exactly what you were thinking.

You faked a chuckle in reply, "Yeah, kinda... I had a lot of time to overthink everything."

"Well, would you leave me? Especially if I were in your shoes?"

It was your turn to squeeze him tighter (and laugh into his chest), "Joe, if you were in my shoes, I think we'd have a real problem."

"Oh, I know, I know- but apart from that- would you leave me?"

"Of course not..."

"Exactly. You wouldn't leave me, so I definitely won't leave you. You know we've always looked after each other, and I still plan on holding up my end of the bargain."

He kissed you again, longer this time, before softly assuring you, “I love you. Don't ever think that I’d abandon you to raise a child on your own, cos' it'll never ever be a possibility. I'll be here no matter what. Positive or negative."

***

Positive or negative, indeed, you told yourself as you wearily gazed out of the plane's window. You still weren't completely sure how to feel about the outcome of the previous day, but- as you told Joe before- you had to deal with it later. There were more pressing matters currently at hand. Your previous issue could wait for an extra day or two. The more serious problem that you all were on your way to currently needed the most attention. This particular problem also seemed to outline a theme for the past 24 hours; accidental life or accidental death.

~17 hours earlier~

You both sat on the bathroom floor in quiet anxiety. Your hands were joined in a world of worry. At the moment, it was impossible to tell who was more worried, since neither of you could bring yourselves to speak.

The longest two minutes of your lives were currently taking place. The test was sitting on the counter of the sink, and neither of you were counting down to when you could look at it again. Every now and then, a reassuring thought would come to mind that you were all worked up over nothing. After all, Joe was right; you barely had any evidence other than the fact that you were late, so you couldn't just assume the worst. On the other hand though, you couldn't help but feel that there was some impending doom about to come, almost like you felt it instinctively.

With you both being scared shitless at the moment (and not even trying to hide it), you sensed that deep down, both of you knew what the result was going to be. Neither of you wanted to admit it, though.

A few rooms away, the phone suddenly sounded off, shattering the tension and making you both jump. It was almost like a form of divine intervention to prevent you from thinking any more. Almost immediately, Joe lifted his hand away and quietly said that he'd answer it. He stood up and left, leaving you alone with a possibly huge revelation sitting on the counter a few feet away. However, that would no longer be your biggest concern, for you could easily overhear Joe talking on the phone.

"'Ello?" he answered before pausing and replying anxiously, "No, I really don't have a minute... I can't say, but I don't have time to chat. You alright, mate?”

There was an unnerving pause before you heard Joe ask, "Why?"

There was an even longer pause before he spoke again. Your heart was pounding more. That gut feeling that your lives were about to change for the worse grew enormously without warning. On top of that, you suddenly realized that it had been well over two minutes at this point. Your future awaited you now.

"Fuck... oh my god..." Joe's voice was a lot more quiet now, "...oh my god, is he...?"

Now, you began weaving your hands together, slowly growing more and more impatient and worried.

"Dammit," Joe said a little louder, "We'll we've gotta go, then. We've gotta go as soon as possible. What about Rick and Sav...? Alright, then. We'll meet you there tomorrow morning- I've really gotta go and tell Y/N right now. I'll call you in a bit. Yeah, alright... just try and calm down, mate- okay? See ya, then."

As soon as he hung up, you heard him rush back to the bathroom.

"Y/N, he huffed before he was even in the room, "Y/N, something's happened and we’ve gotta-“

He froze in the doorway upon seeing you now standing and completely covering the test in your hands.

"No," he moved forward and put a hand on yours, "Please don't look at it yet; something awful's happened and I don't know how much sudden news we can take at this point. Did you look at it?”

You shook you head, not breaking eye contact with him, "No, but now I'm too scared to take my hands off. What's happened?"

He came right out with it, "Steve's been found unconscious at a bar in Minneapolis. They took him to a hospital, he’s in intensive care and... and he’s pretty bad.”

Right then and there, you dropped the test in your hands with a gasp. You were speechless, but part of you couldn't help but ask, "Is- is he gonna make it?”

You suddenly saw tears in Joe's eyes when he answered, "I don't know... he won't die unless we knock some fucking sense into him! That was Phil who just called, and he sounded scared shitless..."

"W-well what are we gonna do? Is anyone going to see Steve?"

"We are. Tomorrow morning we're flying out with Phil, Mutt, Tony, and Peter."

"Wait, what about Rick and Sav?"

"They both can't make it on short notice. We're gonna have to give Steve a beatin’ over the head from them.”

Just like that, you forgot all about the test on the floor. Steve was dying, and that was enough to flood your mind. You wanted to cry, you wanted to hug Joe, you wanted to scream, and most of all, you wanted to see Steve and sob your brains out to him.

"He's never gonna get better, is he?" you quietly asked, not particularly looking for an answer. Joe shrugged and sighed, running his hands through his hair.

He coldly chuckled in a quiet voice, "Not unless we keep drilling it into his head that he's gonna kill himself!"

Hanging your head out of astonishment, you sat on the counter, realizing that this was the biggest blow to your lives since Rick’s accident.

At least, it would be until you saw the result of the test on the floor.

"Joe..." you whispered to him, staring down at your hands, "Should we look at the test? Should we wait until we get back?"

Joe did nothing more than stare at you, frowning nervously. He moved his own hands forward, placed them on top of yours, and took a deep breath.

“We’re only gonna be more worried if we wait... so we might as well settle things now.”

Joe slowly got on his knees, and felt on the floor for the test without looking at it. When he located it, he rose back to his feet, and brought the test forward. He kept it covered with all his fingers wrapped around it to conceal the verdict.

Blowing out a trembling breath, you looked at him as he did at you, and he gently unfolded his fingers from the test. You both simultaneously looked down to see the clearly marked result. In that second, you were fairly certain that life would never be the same.

In fact, you were positive.

***

“Now is literally the worst possible time to talk about this, Joe,” you whispered again so no one else on the plane could hear, “It can wait a day or two. We’ve got to worry about Steve first."

Joe nodded a little, agreeing with you, “Okay, I suppose it can wait.”

“Don't stress yourself out so much; it's literally making you sick. Besides, I’m the one who’s supposed to be sick,” you chuckled, “That’s not your job.”

“Oh shut up,” he laughed a little, “It really is the turbulence… and the fact that Steve’s… and you’re… and I’m surprised you’re not this overwhelmed.”

You sighed and turned your head towards the window, “Yeah... I’m really surprised, too. This is gonna be one hell of a story to tell this kid when they’ve grown up...”

“I feel sorry that their story had to start out like this,” Joe put another hand on top of your already joined hands with a guilty exhale, “With such bad timing...”

As you watched the illuminated clouds move on by the window of the plane, you couldn’t help but think that things truly would be okay at one point: like that maybe this wouldn’t be such bad timing after all. Things would all work out eventually. How far away that merciful checkpoint was, you’d never be able to guess.

***

Later that day, you found yourself sitting in a circle of people in a rather pleasant-looking and sunlit room. For such a nice day that it was, nothing about the day seemed to fit the mood the weather provided; the universe simply wouldn’t allow it. Now was the time for the serious matter you came for; you were desperately trying to help Steve.

“Steve, you’re scaring the shit out of us,” Phil read bluntly from his letter to his best friend, trying not to let soft emotion seep into his tone. He knew he needed to be stern, but caring towards him.

The whole time he spoke, you wanted to devote all of your attention to him and Steve, but soon found that you couldn't. The constant thought of your unborn child was first on your mind, and although you didn’t want that taking over your thoughts, it was beginning to eat you alive. You almost felt like you couldn't hold the secret back any longer, despite only knowing for a day. In any other circumstances, it would have been so much easier to keep it secret. Today, however, was the worst possible day, with the worst possible scenario.

Every now and then, Joe would look over at you to see how you were doing, and turn back to not be conspicuous to everyone else. You could practically sense his growing worry. Going on in this manner for so long was starting to make your own unstoppable thoughts bubble to the surface. You couldn't hold out for much longer, and was even starting to think outside the box about your while situation. Was being with child really a problem? Did it have to be a bad thing right now? Could you actually find a way to rip some positivity from it all and shed some light on this situation?

That's when it hit you.

When Phil was done his speech, some silent tears were shed by everyone in the circle (including Steve). Near silence commenced afterwards (which only reminded you that there was no distraction from your thoughts now). You reached out to Joe slowly, and took his hand in a tight grip without looking at him. While you felt his eyes on you, you didn't dare look at him.

"Has anyone else got something to say to add onto that?" Peter softly asked, looking around the circle. Your heart began to pound; an opening for you was coming.

Phil slowly began to comment, looking at his feet, "Well, there's nothing I can say to get the point across any more. We can beg and plead all we want but the point still stands, Steve. I know you're not a fan of us guilt tripping you to hell- but we don't want to beat you up; that’s not what we came here to do. We love you, mate... so it doesn't matter whether or not we guilt trip you by saying we're worried sick, or- or..."

"I'm pregnant," you stated simply, closing your eyes and squeezing Joe's hand. While you didn't see it, you felt Joe inhale and look at you instinctively. For the single day that you were aware of your condition, you and Joe had feared the "p" word, and avoided using it at all costs.

Phil didn't entirely comprehend what you said, and kept talking on, "Exactly, even if we said that-"

"No-" you sat up in your seat and opened your eyes, now shaking again, "I mean... I'm pregnant."

You looked over at Joe, who seemed tired, yet understanding. Your eyes went down to his hand as you corrected yourself, "We're pregnant."

All eyes were on you now, but no one had any inclination to speak for a moment.

“Are you serious?” Mutt broke the silence in astonishment, “You're fucking with us right now, aren't you?"

“She’s not,” Joe shook his head, still fixing his loving eyes on you.

Steve looked at Phil and stated coldly, "I thought you said you guys weren't gonna make stuff up to guilt trip me."

"Does it look like I'm making this up?!" you snapped at him, anxious and shameful tears brimming your eyes. You looked around at everyone, landing your eyes on Steve.

"So you're serious?” he asked softly, frowning as he flicked off ashes from his cigarette, “You really are pregnant?”

You nodded, trying to hold yourself together.

“When did you find out?” Peter inquired gently, coming off as the most calm member of the group.

Your voice began to break as you told him with a sad chuckle, “Yesterday... we were waiting for the result of the test right when you called, Phil...”

Phil's eyes lit up at your statement, and he apologized, "Oh- fucking hell... Joe... you even said you didn't have time to talk... and what I said on the plane this morning- must've only made things worse... guys, I'm so sor-"

"That wasn't your fault, mate," Joe smiled sadly, "There's no way you could've known."

"It was just bad timing," you stared at Joe's hand in yours, feeling him shaking as well.

No one spoke for a while after that; no one could think of the right thing to say. It seems you both had scared them all into silence (even more than Steve had). Everyone in the circle couldn't speak because they no longer saw you and Joe the same way. A minute ago, you were still Y/N and Joe. Now, you were mum and dad. The others didn't know how to speak to those strange new people just yet.

“Well, congratulations, for one thing,” Tony broke the silence with a soft smile. A few muffled chuckles and agreements went around the circle, but it wasn’t what you or Joe wanted to hear.

“No, no, that’s not the point,” you threw your hands out in frustration, “We never even planned on telling anyone today! Don’t you guys see how suddenly life can come and go? Twenty-four hours ago Joe and I didn’t even have a child, and now we do. Twenty-four hours ago, we didn’t even think that there was a possibility of you dying-“ you pointed at Steve, giving him your own furious input, “-and now there is. It’s just all so surreal, but no matter how bad the timing of your life is, there’s always time to fight for survival. And that's exactly what we need to get a grip on right now.”

Steve put out his cigarette at this point, looking as if he were genuinely listening to you now more than ever.

“And I guess timing was a real bitch to us today,” you put a hand on your abdomen for the first time since you found out, addressing Steve directly, “But I’d say now you’ve got a little bit more to fight for. Just think about this whole situation; it’s not exactly a tale to be proud of. If this story keeps getting worse, and this is how it ends for you- I don’t want that to be the story of Uncle Steve. I want our child to be born into a world where you're thriving- where they... where they actually have an Uncle Steve."

You had hit a nerve (or a soft spot, to say the least). Before you even realized exactly what you had said, everyone in the circle was crying, including you and Steve. Joe looked at you with his face smothered in tears, but smiling, no less.

The seven of you remained like that for a minute or two, absorbing what had really hit everyone hard, and quietly crying your brains out.

Steve didn’t raise his head to ask you with heartfelt astonishment, “...Uncle Steve, really?”

“C’mere, you fucking idiot,” you sprang to your feet at one point and rushed over to him, taking him in your arms as he stood to take you in his without the slightest bit of hesitation.

“I love you so much, Steve,” you sobbed into his chest, “And I will always care about you. You mean so much to me, and I know you’ll mean so much to the baby, too.”

One by one, everyone else in the circle joined in the hug, each of them murmuring their love to Steve in their own affectionate way. Once you were all broken up, Joe embraced you himself and kissed you over and over again.

“Hey, back off from her,” Mutt teased, “Haven’t you done enough?”

“I still can’t believe you knocked her up,” Phil sighed with happy disbelief, “That’s something we only ever joked about!”

“Yeah well, it doesn’t have to be seen as a joke anymore,” Joe put his hands on your hips and smiled, tearing up all over again, “I’m gonna be a dad...!”

Peter chimed in, “Now that’s a bit scary.”

“It’s not scary,” you chuckled, stroking the back of Joe’s head, “It’s exciting! Timing is a bitch... but I think I’m ready for anything time can throw at me, now.”

Reaching that point of acceptance was a day-long journey that you thought would never have a final destination. All was nearly well in that moment where you and Joe hugged with a seemingly-changed Steve standing by. Right then and there, the future seemed bright for everyone; including your unborn child. An eternity went by in those two days you were gone for, and even though the next day you found out that your test result was a false positive, and Steve only lived for about another year, that false positive seemed to be just what you all needed to keep the world at bay.

The end

[kerie-prince]

We're Worlds Apart (6)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj!reader

series m.list | general m.list | previous chp

warnings: language, smoking (cigarettes), mentions of sexual activity (but no actual scenes), Blaise (you know what i mean <3)

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

a/n: would y'all be interested if i added a smut chapter? also fun fact! the little date bit where y/n thinks about her worst date is based on my real life experience. only we didn't go to mcdonald's, we went to in-n-out. and it was terrible

(gif cred)

Blaise Zabini.

This man was the walking definition of lust. Flirtatious, smooth, and most definitely a womanizer. He didn’t hide it in his actions and you didn’t care. He could break your heart and have you crying for weeks, but man, if he wasn’t gorgeous.

Blaise Zabini looked as if he was carefully molded by Aphrodite. A man almost too beautiful for the world, and you’re going on a date with him. He nearly knocked the air out of your lungs when he asked to take you out to the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in Buffalo. And who were you to say no?

The whole window incident was completely forgotten. He could see more if he’d like— “Hey Y/N?” Your employee brought you out of your thoughts. A soft blush was on your face as you tried to act like you weren’t thinking of your neighbors’ friend. “Uh, yeah, what’s up?”

“Did you want me to put the crystal beads in the front? They’ve been really popular today.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” You had a few more hours of your day left before going back home. You had called over two of your best friends to catch up and help you pick out an outfit for your date that coming Saturday. It was currently Thursday, but in case nothing in your closet was good enough, you’d at least have some time to go shopping with them. Which was probably going to happen anyway.

It was a really good day; it got really busy with customers and the usual nuisance was gone today. But no matter how busy it was, you still felt like time was passing by slowly. In all honesty, what you really wanted was to be able to see Blaise today even if it was for just a minute, just to say hi.

Your last date was six months ago and, well. If it went well, you wouldn’t be attending the date you were going to later on the weekend. It was a horrifying date; he took you to a fucking McDonalds on the first (and last) date, only paid for his own meal, and made weird sexual innuendos nearly the whole time. And the worst bit was that even though it was a terrible date, you decided to give him another shot by texting him saying that you’d like to go to another date and he never texted you back.

Blaise was only going to be around for a month, you know this. And you kinda felt bad for taking some of his time away from his best friend whom he was visiting for, but he asked you out. So, if he’s alright with it you should be, too.

After the store closed, you stayed an extra hour just to make sure everything was cleaned up and ready for tomorrow. As much as you were in a rush, you hated clutter and didn’t want to have to wake up earlier to clean. Most likely, your friends were gonna want to drink a little. Traffic home wasn't great, but once you got home you got exactly what you asked for.

Outside, Blaise stood against a wall smoking a cigarette on Draco’s porch. God, even the way he stands is hot you thought. He saw you pull in your driveway and put out the last of the bud onto the ashtray. Blaise made his way to you and your heart was beating hard. “Good evening, gorgeous,” he said in that mesmerizing British accent. I’d kill to hear that voice in the morning.

“Hello,” you sighed in contentment. He was about to say something before your friends pulled up next to your car. Internally, you groaned. You just had to hope they wouldn't say anything to embarrass you. Without taking the chance, you started thinking of a reason to excuse him back to Draco’s house but it was too late as your friends were already rushing to your side. Act normal, act normal, act normal—

“Hey Y/N, who's this?” Miranda probed. Her voice was suggestive and you caught how she looked Blaise up and down. Bianca, the shyest of the three stood aside and waved at him.

“Blaise, these are my best friends Miranda and Bianca,” your hands gestured to the girls by your side. “Guys, this is Blaise.”

He took their hands and kissed the top of them. “Well, you ladies have a goodnight. I’ll see you later, Y/N.” He winked at you before he left.

Miranda let out a sigh before she spoke, “God, you’re so lucky.” She started heading into your house and pulled out a bottle of wine from her purse. Yeah. I am.

—

Draco has no idea what he walked into.

Santa Marie’s was absolute chaos. There was nearly a horde of injured wizards and witches that he and his team had to help. People filled the waiting room and beds were constantly being changed for the next patient.

The worst bit of it was that no one had any memory as to what happened. “This is a really strong memory charm. Not as bad as how Lockhart was left, though. Any idea who could’ve done this?” Draco worked as he healed one person after the next. He’s been running around with Ian at his side.

“Not really. This is the first time I’ve ever seen anything like this. Hell, this is probably the first time anything like this ever happened at Santa Marie’s,” Ian pondered. It was true. Something like this hasn’t been seen in this hospital. But Draco wasn’t going to sit around and do nothing about it. He became Head Healer at Santa Marie’s for a reason and he was going to prove he deserves this position.

When he found a few minutes to himself, he called his landline at home to let Blaise and Theo know that he might not come home for the night. Theo was the one to answer the call and offered to take Draco some clothes if need be, but Draco already had a bag in his office just in case something kept him there. Guess today’s that day.

“Are you by yourself?” Draco asked.

“Yeah, Blaise left about twenty minutes ago,” Theo confirmed.

“Where’d he run off to? Not like he has other friends around,” Draco chuckled. He used the time to eat a sandwich from the cafeteria vending machine. Wasn't as filling, but he figured it’ll do for now until he would be able to eat an actual meal.

“Don’t you remember? Blaise got his date with… what’s her name again? The muggle, witch one, fuck if I know,” Theo said. That’s today? Draco had forgotten all about it. Of course, if he had remembered, he’d probably be distracted from his work today. Wait, why?

Theo regained his attention by calling his name multiple times thinking Draco had just hung up. “I’ll call you later. Still got loads of work to be done.”

“Hey, do you think they’ll do it-” Draco cut the call off before he could listen to the end of that sentence. Last thing he wanted on his mind while he worked was Blaise doing… things with you. It wasn’t because he liked you. You’re his neighbor and things could get pretty weird. It took months just to get along and have one engaging conversation.

And honestly, Draco still didn't like how you were a Wiccan. He may not understand what exactly it means, but it didn't matter. What would even happen if for some reason, Blaise actually showed you what real magic looks like? That was what really concerned Draco. Showing a muggle magic. He didn't know what those laws were like under the Magical Congress, but under the Ministry it was only allowed to show muggles magic and the wizarding world if it had the promise of marriage or you were a mudbl— muggleborn.

And Draco knew Blaise. His longest committed relationship was probably three months, so marriage is a definite no. Draco didn't know why he was even worried about it, it's just one bloody date. He figured that America made him soft as he stood ther overthinking about literally nothing. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he almost didn't feel Ashley flick his forehead. “Ow! That hurt!”

“I’d be worried if it didn't. You were standing there like a damn zombie. You ready to get back out there?” Ashley sassed. Draco scarfed the last of his sandwich and followed Ashley back to the emergency room. Ugh, I want this day to end.

—

It was the best date you ever had. You weren't in love or anything, but you were definitely tired out. The dinner was amazing and the conversations were engaging and interesting. But it's the events after the dinner that you remember.

Unlike boyfriends and girlfriends before, Blaise took his time with you. Slow, sensual and just perfect. It was quite suspicious, actually. What man is this perfect? There's something up. Weird foot fetish, secret Star Wars nerd. Or worse. Star Trek you thought.

Two days after the date, your best friends drove straight to your house after a single text was sent. There was no way Miranda and Bianca were going to read about the details on a phone screen, no. They wanted to hear the explicit details with their own ears.

“He did what?” Miranda nearly choked on the wine. There was a certain confidence in your aura. You slept with a man hand crafted by the gods and it was the best time of your life.

Bianca sat bashfully listening to your story, but she leaned forward to hear you better. “Little trashy for a first date, but who the hell cares? Ten out of ten, would definitely do again.” You smirked at the end of your corny joke. Your friends looked at each other and rolled their eyes. “Alright, we get it. What now, though? He's only here for a month. What's gonna happen now?” Miranda questioned.

“Dunno. But for now, I'm just having fun. At first, I thought it'd be weird since his friend isn't the most pleasant to live next to, but Blaise is different.” You could only assume they were different, but considering you were getting along way better you figured it was safe to assume they were.

“What does your neighbor even look like? I haven't seen him anywhere,” Bianca noticed. Now that you realize, you haven't seen your brooding neighbor in a couple days. Not that you cared. “Actually, I don't know. Work, probably,” you shrugged your shoulders as you brought your wine glass to your lips.

“Where does he work?” Miranda asked.

“In the emergency room at a hospital,” you answered.

“Oh. You know where?” Miranda kept at it. “No, we don't really talk much. Took me nearly six months to even find out that he even talks, let alone what he does for a living.” Just as you were about to take another sip, a certain black car was pulling up.

From afar, you could see the dark circles extremely prominent under Draco’s eyes and noticed him wearing the same clothes he left the house in a couple days ago. You actually pitied him, but admired him at the same time.

Being a doctor is no easy task, and here was one across the yard working day and night to help people. “Is that him?” Bianca noticed him from out the window. You nodded in response and took another sip of wine.

“I'm moving to England. There's no way that they have this many attractive men. Watch me pledge allegiance to the Queen, I don't care,” Miranda rambled. You laughed at her in response. “You said there's another person visiting him?”

“Yeah, why?” you quirked an eyebrow. “What does he look like?” Miranda looked at you with wide, hopeful eyes. You shrugged your shoulders, “Haven't seen him yet. Never comes out but I think I heard him once in the backyard.”

After a couple hours of talking and laughing, the two best friends decidedly went home and called you once they arrived safely. The night was chilly and the sky was clear. You admired the sunset and the orange and purple hues in the sky from the bench of your porch. If you could, you'd paint the scenery.

The sound of a door opening made you look to the side and saw Draco pulling out a cigarette. He looked around and once his eyes landed on yours, he reached in his pocket for the lighter. Once it was lighted, he took a deep inhale and let the smoke out with a long puff.

“Long couple days?” you asked from across. He took another puff before he started walking to the fence separating your yards. You did the same and leaned against it next to him. “Feel like shit,” he said under his breath.

“You look like shit,” you commented. Draco glared at you and you laughed at him. It took him a couple seconds to drop his glare and then he started laughing as well. When you looked at him, you noticed how his eyes crinkled and how bright his smile was. It was the first time you'd ever seen him like this and it made you feel a bit warmer inside. You remembered how when he'd first moved in, all you wanted was to be friends with your new neighbor and have moments like this.

The silence lasted a while when your laughters died down. He finished the last of the cigarette and stepped on it as you just stood and wandered into nothing. Whether it was an awkward silence or not, you didn't know. But considering you were comfortable, maybe it wasn't.

You looked at your neighbor and reached one of your hands out to him. Draco looked confused, like he once did when you first went to his door and reached for a handshake. He stood still as he expected you to say something. The expression spoke for him so you finally explained yourself, “Friends?”

Draco seemingly thought about it, eyes going back and forth from your hand to your eyes. He then looked at his house for some reason and met your eyes again. Hesitantly, he shook your hand, “Friends.”

This was going to be an odd friendship for sure, but after months of trying, a friendship began.

—

next chp

(っ◔◡◔)っ taglist: @beiahadid @malfoy-styles-wife @fivenightslaughter @juneballoon999 @leydileyla @fangirlanotherjust @originalsoulcollector @opiomancy @lipstickandloveletters @ninacotte @daedric-sorceress @frecklesandfirecrackers @hahee154hq @disartrous @oh-those-barricade-boys @lunalovecroft

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hi, I have been struggling a lot lately because of i-don't-know-what-to-call-it.

So, I have this thing in me like if have a best friend and they too are my best friend, i get so attached to them like i think of them as 'my person'. The thing is I only have few friends. But the person who is my best friend becomes very important to me. So, I have this possessive feeling in me and fear of them being taken like I feel like they would replace me or something.

Usually it's normal but it hits when something happens for example they do things with their other friends like they do with me (with / without including me). I keep telling myself that it's their life which doesnot revolve around me and i should not feel what i feel, but i dont know how to vanish this feeling. I start overthinking everything and it starts hurting too much. I know whatever i feel is totally wrong and I donot act upon it, I try to supress it but internally it is so difficult to get it under control. After some time I get normal and when sometime later something happens again i again go back to that state and start recalling everything, like i would come up with every reason to feel betrayed which I know is totally wrong of me. I never allowed this to come between my friendship because at the end of the day i know it is false and i don't want to ruin anything. But i am so sick of hurting inside. I dont want to feel this way. I dont know how not to get too attached. Do I need some professional help or am i just a bad person? I don't know wtf is wrong with me. I don't wish to be like this, i don't know what to do about it.

If you read this, Thank You and sorry for bothering you with this mess AND You can definitely choose not to answer this.

I don't think you are a bad person or need help to sort this. Although the latter is subjective.

Feeling possessive or insecure about relationships is something many struggle with - especially if we have experiences from the past that make us think this way.

While it is normal, you should only be concerned (subjective again!) if these feelings are impacting your relationship with your friend - or other people. For example, feeling this way is not bad. But if you are going to act on these feelings and be mad at your friend because of it, that's bad.

Similarly, if this is causing you anxiety that interferes with your school/work or social life, then it's something you need to be concerned about.

Having bad thoughts doesn't make us bad people. Acting on these bad thoughts does.

If this person is your best friend, then you should be able to talk to your best friend about it. Tell them how you feel. See if there is something they can do. Maybe your friend simply giving you verbal assurance will make you feel more confident and better. You never know.

I feel that "not getting too attached" is often an unrealistic goal. Attachment is not quantitative. We can't really put a limit on it. Not easily as want, at least. A better approach here would be to be mindful of your attachment levels and have coping mechanisms to deal with them. "I like you too much so what do I do about it" is more realistically doable than "I'm gonna do my best to like you too much. I hope that makes sense. So, instead of prevention, it's more of a cure.

While this is not the solution people like, talking and communicating do solve a lot of stuff. So, consider doing that with your friend :).

Good luck!

[ziracona]

What are some of your favorite monster/creature designs?

Like period? That's such a hard question; there are too many cool ones to pick from, and some I like for creep factor, some for functionality, some for prettiness, some for atmosphere, etc etc. Like Alien is classic and has nice not stupid sexual dimorphism. The fish man from The Shape of Water be looking fine. The creature design for The Fly was horrific, but really good. Especially when he's straight up dying at the end. The OG weeping angels from Doctor Who were horrifying and iconic. The Robot species from Lost in Space (the new one) are very pretty, and I like that they easily can alter their forms to look more like whatever other sentient species they're interacting with/patterning after--it was thematically cool when it tied in in the final season especially. And I love their light faces. I love Nick Valentine specifically's robot design in Fallout 4--it's very clearly not human, but still wildly reassuring and appealing. Greed's design in FMA is cool because the homonculi look more and more human the later they are made/less human the further back you go, and Greed's one of the babies, but even his true form isn't like 'oh that's a human,' --it's clearly not. But it's human enough--human shape, eyes, teeth, and not automatically horrific even if intimidating--it is a shape a human would look at and go 'okay, that's similar to what I am'--it's human enough, which is exactly who he is as a character. He's never not Greed, but he's human enough, so props to it for being the absolute perfect creature design for the specific character.

Uhhh, the Beast in Over the Garden Wall--both as a 'what you can't see is scarier,' and when you momentarily see it in the light. A+. A weird one, because the physical design I actually think isn't super great, but from a sound design perspective? The Lahmu in F/GO Babylonia were horrifying -- like I cannot accurately describe how disgusting and unnerving the sounds they made were, and it's rare for a game to be able to accomplish that with sound alone for me. Circling back to pretty, I don't know that Howl in bird-ish form counts but I am looking at the man.

Uhhh, I like the demons in Little Hope quite a bit because you don't see them much, and their designs are very specific, but shoutout to John and Angela's specifically because the way John's moves is so. fucked up. like--the fucking skittering it does--I hate it, but in a good way. And Angela's has the most well achieved suspense, because instead of acting like a persistence predator, it sneaks around and pops out, and it is limited to water or being close to waterways, so it should be safer, but honestly it having rules and that providing a false sense of security, plus the range it has with the chains, just makes it way more unnerving.

You probably meant visually specifically. Ahhh, I'm sorry--that's too broad! I can count anything from robots to like Pennywise to Dragons to vampires as creatures/monsters and I like too many! I love dragons specifically though I'll say. In general, I like big humanoid-ish things, robots, and things that are hard to see well or have undefined features but definitely have eyes quite a bit as designs. Mothman is very cool. I'm gonna think of 400 way better answers tomorrow the second I wake up, but here was An. Attempt. :'-) Thanks for asking! I'm very bad at answering broad questions because I overthink it and it comes out like this.

[jangofctts]

Okay OkAY first of all how about we talk about how you're Killing Me with all of these drabbles for the sunburst bois!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU make me Pine for them!!! Since you insist on writing stuff that makes me think about them 24/7 I would like to Discuss either a night out at 79s or a DATE NIGHT. here are my thoughts (& some thots) I would like to know what U FINK

Blanche - doesn't seem to be down for ~feelings~ or at least ADMITTING THEM so if he were to do either I'm guessing it would be a night out at 79s not a date. would he want to go with you to 79s or would he want it to be a squad only thing? I think he'd be pretty intent on keeping you separate from the squad if he could help it. Mainly bc I think he has so many demands that he just wants one (1) thing for himself but he also wants to do it in a way where he isn't ACTUALLY GIVING HIMSELF TO YOU BC HES DUMB AND PUSHES YOU AWAY so my guess is he'd do neither would go out with the boys and then find you after to... U kno.... Fuck u through a wall... Bc if he can't have you then he can at least make it MEMORABLE FOR BITH OF U

Blue - definitely wants to go on a date. also wants to go to 79s with you. Wants to do everything with you???? I just think he'd drop everything if he could and would be like yes let's do literally anything as long as I am with you. A literal angel who I lub.

Jaws - date DATE D A TE NI G H T. Bump going out he wants to date you. He wants to date you hard. He wants to do all of the dumb dates he's seen in holodramas. He wants to walk you to the door of your apartment. He wants you to ask him up to your room for... Tea. Caf. Fucking whatever as long as he can bridal style carry you into your bedroom. Once you're in the bedroom tho that's when we are no longer in a holo drama but a BAD PORNO IF U KNO WHAT I MEAN

Sweets - b a b y. I feel like this would be tricky. Probably wouldn't want to go to 79s with you but would also be very stressed™ about going on a date with you. I think he'd really want to go on a date but would be so overwhelmed and unsure of what to do with himself. I think you would have to just suggest doing things together and not call it a date. Like take him to candy shops but not call it a date or maybe if there is a zoo or someplace with animals tell him you really want to go there and oh sweets do you want to come with meeeee. And then later he gets back to the barracks and the bois are like w o w sweets dates y'all and sweets is like... Sweets.exe has stopped working "tHAt wAS a DATE BUT I DIDNT OVERTHINK THE ENTIRE TIME" and then I fink he wants to go on dates with you all the time after that 💖💖💖

Kami - 79s all the way baby. Not only bc he wants to drink and have fun with the squad and you, but a l s o bc you two should go check out the fresher together. Maybe inspect the structural integrity of that wall in the back... Vigorously. Maybe make sure the supply closet is secure. M a y b e make sure the booth cushions are gonna hold up... For Science. I think eventually if you ever got to the point of getting a confession a REAL ONE out of him he'd want to go on all the dates but until then I think wacky hijinks in 79s is all you're gonna get... Not that we mind that 👀

Fuse - o fuse baby definitely no dates. Nothing even remotely resembling a date. If he smells date activity or feelings then he is o u t. I think he'd go to 79s with you but I al so feel like he would ditch you at some point NOT BC HE DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH YOU BUT BC HE THINKS YOU SHOULD FIND AOMEONE ELSE THE LITERAL DUMBASS definitely think he would mainly limit your interactions to quick fucks and that's it (u already talked about him breaking things off with you and how that would happen and how you would come back together and I CANNOT IMPROVE UPON PERFECTION)

Bruiser - kinda like blue I feel like he would be down to do anything as long as you're with him. 79s? Y es. Date? Also yes. Mainly I think this would come down to you. He wants to know what you want to do. He also definitely wants to fuck you whether it's after date night or after a night at 79s there is no hiding how much that man wants it 👀 he is looking respectfully JK HE WANTS TO F U CK he would not be shy about that. Would definitely be shy about feelings so I could see how dates could be a Big Thing for him. I think of Him often. I wanna date a Lorge Man plz and thank you.

Void - MY M A N. okay so I think that void would want to do neither. Esp when the war is going on. Maybe after the war things could be different. But all he wants to do is have a Nice Night In okay! Also I don't wanna make him sound boring like y'all will get up to things. Definitely having shower sex in your apartment. And then you're gonna fuck again after. And then since you made a mess you're gonna need to shower again... 👀 BUT NEEWAYZ I think he'd really like watching a holodrama with you or just eating dinner in maybe takeout maybe something you cooked together. He just wants to spend time with you in a Very Low Stress Environment. Maybe I could see you going on dates together but they would have to be the most low key chill dates ever lmao I think he'd mainly just want to spend time with you alone and relax as often as he could so that you could take care of him and he could take care of someone too where THEIR LIFE ISNT ON THE LINE OKAY LET HIM REST AND GET LAID I LOVE HIM SO MYCH LEMME PAMPER HIM MY HEART BELONGS TO H I M 😭💞💞

LITERALLY I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM HERE U GO U MADE ME DO THIS I HOPE U R HAPPY WITH YOURSELF 😤💖

THIS DEADASS IS SO ACCURATE LIKE IM KAJRKEHR IM SCREAMING LIKE THIS IS ALL SO SO PERFECT FOR THE BOYS 

I LOVE THIS HCS WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND IVE REREAD THEM LIKE FIVE THOUSAND TIMES I THANK YOU AHKWEJHRKH 

[waywardaardvark79]

No Strings Attached Part 7: Road Trip

Summary: Your roommates old friend moves to town and the two of you quickly strike up a no strings attached relationship. How long will the two of you be able to hold up what was supposed to be a simple, uncomplicated arrangement?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: language, smut

A/N: Updates should be every few days. No set schedule.

             "You sure you got enough stuff?" Dean asked as he walked into your room to see you sitting on top of an over filled suitcase trying to zip it up. 

You glanced over to your closet, "Shit, I might need a few more things." you said, suddenly questioning everything that you had packed.

 Dean looked down at the two bags that were laying at the foot of your bed, "You know that we're gonna be back Sunday." he said as he watched you desperately pull at the zipper.

 "You're right. It's not enough." you said in a panic as you jumped off your bag and raced to your closet, furiously flinging clothes around. Dean watched as you tossed clothes over your shoulder, mumbling nonsense under your breath.

 He stepped to your side, placed his hands on your shoulders and spun you around to face him, "I'm gonna need you to take a deep breath, and calm down." he said.

 You rolled your eyes, "I'm calm. I'm the fucking definition of calm. You look up calm in the dictionary and there's my picture." you argued. 

"Well, you sure fooled me. What are you so worried about?" he asked, afraid that you were regretting your decision to tag along with him.

 "I'm not worried. It's just I feel all this pressure, and I have to make sure I have options." you explained.

 "Pressure? Options? What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, more confused by your reply.

 You grabbed his hands and removed them from your shoulders before spinning around and digging back through your closet, "The whole point of me going on this trip is to basically show up your ex. So, I need to look amazing, and most of my clothes are jeans and ridiculous thrift store t-shirts, so yeah I may be freaking out a little. No, I lied. I may be freaking out a lot." you ranted as you pulled a t-shirt from your closet and waved it in Dean's face. "What am I supposed to do waltz in there in this, and be like oh, yeah I know you're jealous." you said as you shook the t-shirt back and forth.

 Dean grabbed the shirt from your hands, and held it up so he could read it, "There's no place I'd rather be than beaver valley." he read out, trying to suppress his smile.  "If it's stressing you out this much  you don't have to come." he said, silently praying that you wouldn't agree.

 "No." you said, stomping your foot dramatically to the ground, "I promised you an amazing fake girlfriend experience, and I'm going to deliver God damn it." you said poking your finger into his chest, emphasizing your point.

 Dean sighed, "You're overthinking it. You always look good." he said genuinely. 

"Oh, really? Did I look good last night when I was sitting on the couch watching Golden Girls in my underwear, polishing off a side of ribs?" you sarcastically asked.

 "You've never looked better. It actually took my breath away." Dean teased.

 "Oh, I'll take your fuckin' breath away, Freckles." you grumbled before walking back over to your bed, and throwing yourself down on it, sighing dramatically. Dean stepped up to the foot of the bed, looking down at you with a smile. You ran your hands over your face, "I think that's the solution to our problem. I kill you, then we don't have to go at all." you said.

 "Why do you constantly threaten me with murder? I thought you liked me?" he asked, feigning hurt. 

You shrugged your shoulders, "You're ok, I guess." you mumbled, your mood soured by your lack of presentable clothes.

 "You're ok, I guess, the words every fake boyfriend longs to hear." he teased as he nudged you over to make room for him to lay down.

 "Yeah, I'm  basically a Hallmark card." you shot back.

 "Y/N." Dean said, trying to get you to look at him, but you turned your head in the opposite direction. "Y/N." he tried again, causing you to cross your arms over your chest. "All right, you asked for it." he said, as he rolled on top of you, grabbing your arms, and pinning them above your head.

 "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" you asked.

 "Getting you to pay attention to me." he said.

 You chuckled, "Not gonna work." you said as you squeezed your eyes shut and started to loudly hum.

 "Y/N, you're being childish." he said.

 "No....hmmmm...I'm ....hmmmm.....not." you hummed out.

 Dean rolled his eyes at you, "You are worrying over stupid shit that doesn't matter. Would you just talk to me?" he asked.

 "I'm sorry, Y/N is in the middle of a crisis right now and can't come to the phone, I would say leave a message, and she'll call you back, but she's shit at returning calls so try again later." you said in an overly cheerful voice before closing your eyes and resuming your humming. You felt Dean's tongue lick a long wet strip up the side of your face, causing your eyes to pop open. "Did you just lick my fucking face? Who's childish now? " you asked, as Dean stared down at you. 

"You wouldn't listen so I had to resort to drastic measures." he said, echoing your own words you had used when you pushed him out of bed back to you. 

You sighed dramatically, "Fine, I'm listening." you said.

 "I know you think you have to deliver this Oscar worthy performance, but just the fact that you're gonna be there is good enough for me." he said.

 "What if I embarrass you. I'm not exactly the take home to mom girl." you said, in a small voice. Dean's heart broke a little at your words. He had never seen you so unsure of yourself. You normally radiated confidence.

 "You could never embarrass me." he sincerely said, his words bringing a smile to your face.

"Don't challenge me, Freckles." you replied, a little of your old self peeking through.

 Dean chuckled at your reply, "So, no more freaking out? You good?" he asked.

 "Pfft...I'm fuckin' awesome." you said, Dean laughing out loud at your reply.

 "There's my girl." he said before placing a quick kiss to your lips, and rolling off of you. He pushed himself up off the bed, "I gotta run down to  the garage, and fill Benny in on a few things, and then I'll be back to pick you up. I shouldn't be more than a few hours." he said.

 "I'll be ready." you replied. Dean gave you a smile before walking out the door. You listened, waiting to hear the door to the apartment close before you picked up your phone and dialed, "Charlie, I need your help." you said. 

              Dean walked through the door a few hours later, your two bags and yourself waiting for him on the couch. "You ready?" you asked.

 "Just got to grab my stuff." he said as he walked down the hall to your room, the one bag he had packed ready by the door. 

You heard him making his way back down the hall, "So, I was wondering what car you wanted to take. We could probably fit more stuff in yours." he said.

 You narrowed your eyes at him, "You could literally fit a couple bodies in your trunk. You wouldn't just be suggesting we take mine on the off chance that I might let you drive?" you asked, knowing exactly what he was up to.

 Dean scoffed, "No."

 "You sure?" you asked.

 "I just don't understand why you won't let me drive it." he said.

 "You don't let me drive yours." you shot back

. "Because I've seen how you drive." he replied.

 You rolled your eyes at him, "You're so dramatic. I've gotten us back in one piece every time, haven't I?" you asked as you started to pick up your bags. 

Dean walked to the couch, pushing your hand away as he grabbed both bags. "Barely." he said under his breath as he walked to the door. You followed behind him, stepping out into the hall and locking the door behind you.

 The two of you walked downstairs into the lobby, Dean pouting because you wouldn't let him drive. You pushed open the door and held it for him, his arms currently full, and made your way to the car. Dean opened the passenger side door and placed the bags in the backseat. "Hey." you called out, catching his attention. You tossed him your keys, "I don't want to be stuck in the car with your grumpy ass all day." you said as you walked around the front of the car.

 Dean was smiling ear to ear as he practically raced to the driver's side before you could change your mind. You climbed in, closing the door behind you, tossing your bag down at your feet. Dean slid in behind the wheel, running his hands gently over it, "I've been wanting to do this for so long." he quietly said. 

"Do I need to step out and give you a minute." you teased. 

"Joke all you want, I don't care, nothing you say is gonna ruin this." he replied as he cranked the engine.

 You pulled your camera from your bag and snapped a picture, "I don't think I've ever seen you so excited." you said, your smile mirroring his as you let the top down.

 Dean smiled over at you, "Ready?" he asked. 

"Hit it, Freckles." you replied before Dean spun out of the parking lot. 

                   The two of you had been driving for a few hours, talking, laughing, and singing along to your ridiculous road trip playlist you had made. You turned down the music, "How much longer?" you asked.

 "Should be there in about an hour." Dean replied.

 "So, we have some time to spare, then?" you asked as you looked down at your phone.

 Dean glanced over at you, "Yeah, why?" he asked.

 "And you said that we were going to Lawrence?" you asked.

 Dean nodded, unsure of what you were getting at, "I did." he said.

 "Do you think we could make a little uh, detour before we get to your parent's place?" you asked.

 "Just spit it out." he said.

 "It says they have a Museum of Odd there, and I really want to go. It says it has Elvis' underwear, Bob Barker's toothbrush, and a couch with 350 sock monkeys piled on it." you excitedly rambled out.

 "You're completely serious aren't you?" Dean asked, already knowing the answer.

 "Uh, duh, I mean, who wouldn't want to see that?" you asked.

 "Most people, Y/N, most people." Dean replied, a smile on his face.

 "Well, I'm not most people." you said.

 Dean reached over and patted your thigh, "I know." he said, a soft smile on his face. 

"So, can we go?" you asked?

 Dean glanced over at you for a moment before turning his attention back to the road, "Let's go see some underwear and sock monkeys." he replied.

 You beamed over at him, "Not just any underwear, Elvis' underwear." you said.

 "Well, let's go see Elvis' underwear then." he said, a smile on his face as he thought about how insane that sentence sounded, but when he looked over at, your face lit up in a bright smile, he knew that no matter how insane he thought it was, he would go see Elvis' underwear a thousand times just to make you smile. 

              The two of you pulled up outside of a small, slightly run down looking house. "I thought you said this was a museum?" Dean asked.

 "It is." you said as you opened your door and eagerly scrambled out, Dean quickly following after you. 

You started to head for the door, an excited bounce in your step, but Dean reached out and grabbed your wrist, "Are you sure?" he asked, "Cause it looks a little sketchy." he finished.

 "Yes, I'm sure. This guy runs it out of his house. I already messaged him and told him we were coming, tours are by appointment only." you said.

 "Yeah, I can see why. He's probably gonna lure us inside, kill us, and then add our bodies to his collection." Dean argued.

 "I wonder if I could get him to add my body to the sock monkey couch?" you sarcastically asked.

 Dean rolled his eyes at you, "Seriously, Y/N?" he asked.

 "Look, if we go in here and end up being added to this guys weird collection, I'll never ask you to do anything again." you said.

 "Yeah, I know because we will be DEAD." Dean said emphasizing the word.

You dramatically sighed, "I know that Dean, I'm not an idiot. Obviously, I meant when our spirits are trapped inside that museum for all eternity, I won't ask you to do anything. Ghost me won't ask you to do a damn thing since I was the reason we died." you said.

 "Well, obviously. I mean, how could that not have been my first thought." Dean sassed. 

You placed your hands on your hips, "You done?" you asked. Dean took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. "What are you doing?" you asked impatiently.

 "Preparing for my death." he said as he cracked one eye open at you. 

You grabbed his hand and started to pull him towards the door, "Don't worry, Freckles. I won't let anything happen to you." you teased. 

                    You and Dean stood in front of a couch, covered in sock monkeys. "So, that's what a couch with 350 sock monkeys looks like." you said as you raised your camera and snapped yet another picture.

 "Did it live up to your expectations?" he asked.

 "It actually surpassed them." you replied, completely serious as you walked out of the room. You thanked the owner again for the tour and walked out the front door, Dean by your side.

 "That was..." Dean started.

 "Fucking awesome." you finished.

 "Not what I was going to say, but sure, let's go with fuckin' awesome." he said. 

"It was, and we didn't die." you said, wiggling your eyebrows at him as you opened your door and slid inside. 

Dean climbed inside and started the engine. You grabbed a pair of sunglasses and popped them on, "I know you didn't want to go, but thanks for taking me." you said.

 "I actually had a pretty good time." Dean said as he pulled away from the curb.

 "See, it was a good idea after all." you replied. 

Dean just smiled over at you before focusing his attention back on the road, not telling you that he didn't give a damn about the sock monkeys or the famous underwear, he only cared about making you happy. 

           Dean pulled into the driveway of his parent's house. "So, this is it?" you asked, nervously drumming your fingers on the seat.

 "This is it." he said as he turned off the engine. You pulled in a shaky breath, the confidence you had mustered earlier completely fading. You swallowed around the lump in your throat. "Hey, everything is gonna be fine." Dean said, noticing the panicked look in your eye. 

"We don't have a backstory." you spit out

. "What?" he asked.

 "You know a cute backstory. I'm not just gonna walk in there and be like oh, we had sex the first night we met, didn't even know each others last name, and I was kinda iffy on what his first name was, and we been bangin' ever since." you rambled out.

 "Yeah, maybe don't say it like that." Dean said.

 "You're not helping." you replied.

 "Just tell them we met through Charlie. It's not a lie and you don't have to construct an elaborate backstory. Also, probably wouldn't say anything about us bangin'." Dean teased.

 "Well fuck, there went my opener." you sassed

. "Just be yourself and they'll love you." Dean said as he opened the door and got out.

 You took a deep breath to calm yourself down, "You got this, Y/N." you whispered to yourself as you plastered a smile on your face and got out of the car. You grabbed one of your bags from Dean, "You ready?" he asked.

 "I pretty much feel like I want to run away or puke so, I guess I'm good to go." you replied as you followed Dean to the door. 

            Dean pushed open the door, gesturing for you to go inside first, before following after you. "Mom! Dad! We're here!" he yelled.

 A few moments later a pretty blonde woman stepped into the room, a huge smile on her face as she pulled Dean into a hug. "I'm so happy you're home, sweetheart." she said as she pulled back from him, giving him a good look over. You remained silent swaying back and forth on your feet a little, her attention suddenly focusing on you. "And you must be Y/N. I'm Mary.  It's so good to meet you. We were so happy when Dean told us he was bringing you along. We couldn't wait to meet you with the way he talks about you." she said before pulling you into a hug. 

"He talks about me?" you asked. 

Mary pulled back and looked at you a little funny, "Of course he does. You're practically all we have heard about since he moved." she said. 

You glanced over at Dean, his cheeks a bright shade of red as he cleared his throat, "Mom, where do you want us to put our bags?" He asked quickly trying to change the subject.

 "You guys can put your stuff in your old room." she said.

 "I'll just go up there first and make room for everything." Dean said as he started to head towards the stairs, you starting after him. "Just give me a minute." he said to you.

 You raised your eyebrows, "And miss out on whatever embarrassing things you are trying to hide? I don't think so, Freckles. I mean, Dean." you corrected, trying not to embarrass him with the nick name that you graced him with.

 Mary gave the two of you a knowing smile, "Your dad and Sam should be back soon. You guys go get settled." she said as she started to head into what you guessed was the kitchen. The two of you started up the stairs, "I'll let you know when they get back, Freckles." she called out.

 You stopped in your tracks, "Fuck, I'm sorry. It just kind of slipped." you said. "Kind of blowing it already, ain't I?" you asked.

 Dean chuckled, "No, I think you're gonna fit right in." he said.

 The two of you rounded the corner and Dean opened the door to his childhood bedroom, ushering you inside. "I thought I was going to walk in here and see something embarrassing." you said, as you looked around, spotting nothing out of the ordinary. You flopped down on the bed, "This is gonna be a tight fit." you said referring to the twin sized bed.

 Dean wiggled his eyebrows at you, "Guess, you'll just have to sleep on top of me." he said.

 "Oh no, don't even go there. We are not doing anything at your parent's house." you said, quickly sitting up. 

"What? Why not?" Dean whined.

 "Because I said so." you stated.

 Dean stalked over to you, "You're gonna have to do better than that." he said.

 "Because they will hear us, and I want them to like me. I kind of thought that was the reason I was here." you said. 

"So, we'll be quiet." Dean said as he pushed you back down on the bed, his arms caging you in as he hovered over you

. "Yeah, when have we ever done that? Your charm isn't going to work on me, Freckles." you said, obviously lying.

 Dean placed a gentle kiss to your lips, "You sure?" he asked.

 "Yeah, I'm sure." you said as Dean started to trail kisses down your neck.

 "Still sure?" he asked.

 You let out a shaky breath, "Yep." you breathed out.

 Dean shifted his weight, his free hand tracing circles just under the hem of your shirt as he kissed his way back up your neck, "Still sure?" he asked.

 "Not so much." you said, feeling him smile against your skin.

 "Maybe we can take a drive after the rehearsal dinner tonight." he suggested. 

"After the rehearsal?" you asked

. "If that's ok with you." he said.

 "I was kind of thinking right now, but I guess after rehearsal will do." you replied, Dean breaking out into a laugh before getting up.

 "And you said my charm wouldn't work on you." he said as he held out a hand to help you up.

 "Don't get cocky, Freckles." you warned, as he pulled you to your feet. 

         The two of you were half way down the stairs when the front door opened, "Dean." you heard someone say.

 "Sammy." Dean replied before rushing the rest of he way down the stairs and engulfing the giant into a hug.

 "It's good to see you, man." Sam said as he patted Dean on the back before pulling back.

 "Dad." Dean said to the man behind Sam. You watched as they quickly embraced, deciding to keep your place in the background, not wanting to interrupt the moment. 

Dean's dad made eye contact with you and you smiled at him as you made your way to the bottom of the stairs. "Think you forgot to introduce us to someone." he said.

 "Oh, sorry. Dad, Sam this is." Dean started. 

"Y/N." the man said with a bright smile as he stepped up to you, holding out his hand for you to shake. "John." he said, as you shook his hand.

 "Nice to meet you, John." you replied.

 "Is that your car out front?" he asked.

 "Yep, it's all mine." you said.

 "It's a real beauty. What year is it?" he asked.

 "'54." you replied.

 John nodded his head, a low sound of approval coming from his throat. "I can see why this one is  so taken with you. You know he talks about you all the time." he said before turning to Dean, "You said she was pretty son, but I think you sold her short." John said.

 "Dad!" Dean barked out

. "Aww...I think you're pretty too, Dean." you said, Sam and John erupting into laughter.

 "I like her. She's a keeper." John said to Dean.

 "Hi, I'm Sam." Sam greeted as he offered his hand to you.

 "Nice to meet you, Sam." you replied straining your neck to look up at him.

 "He really does talk about you all the time. I sorta feel like I know you." he said.

 "Guys, please." Dean pleaded. 

"You two get in here and lend me a hand, and quit embarrassing Dean." Mary yelled from the kitchen.

 "Guess, we're in trouble." John said as he gave Sam a gentle shove towards the kitchen.

 You watched them walk away, a smile on your face, before walking over to Dean. "So, you talk about me all the time, huh." you said.

 Dean sighed, "God, they make me sound like a creepy stalker." he said.

 You raised your hand and pinched his cheek, "At least you're a cute, creepy stalker." you said, Dean  rolling his eyes at you and trying to hide his smile

. Sam poked his head into the room, "Just wanted to let you guys know that we're gonna head out in like an hour." he said before ducking back into the kitchen.

 "We better go get ready." you said as  you linked your arm with his and started back up the stairs. 

                  "Y/N!" Dean called out as he knocked on the bathroom door, "Come on. We gotta go." he finished.

 "Just a minute." you said, checking yourself over in the mirror once more, completely out of your comfort zone. You grabbed the door knob, took a deep breath, and pulled the door open.

 "I thought we were gonna be....." Dean trailed off as he took you in. Your hair hung down in loose curls, your make up simple, yet elegant, the long, laced sleeve burgundy dress that stopped just above your knees fit you like a glove.

 Dean was standing in front of you in black dress pants, and a crisp long sleeved white dress shirt, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. You looked down at the dress, and sighed, "I knew it. I never should have let them talk me into this one. It's stupid. I look stupid." you said.

 "No, no, no, no, you look...you...you're beautiful." Dean choked out

. A smile lit up your face and you looked down at the dress, "Really?" you asked

. Dean swallowed before nodding his head, "Really." he said. 

"I just got to grab my shoes and I'll be ready to go." you said as you walked across the hall into Dean's room. Dean followed you, grabbing his jacket from the back of the desk chair, and sliding it on. You looked up at him from the edge of the bed as you put on your heels. "You look really good, too." you said as you stood up.

 Dean offered his arm to you, "You ready?" he asked. 

"Let's go Freckles." you said with a smile as the two of you started out of the room. 

               You sat by Mary's side at the rehearsal, Dean being Sam's best man meant that he was busy, and he was sure to voice his complaints to his brother. "I just really don't understand why we have to practice walking. I mean, you put one foot in front of the other. How hard is that?" Dean asked. 

"Because Jess said we needed a rehearsal." Sam said, trying to be patient with his brother. "Just like if Y/N asked you to have one,  I know you would do it." Sam finished.

 "That's the thing though, Y/N would never ask me to do this." Dean said. 

Sam sighed, "Ok, fine, but my point is if she asked you to do something you would do it to make her happy." Sam said. Dean looked over at you, your hands gesturing wildly as his mom laughed at whatever you were telling her, and smiled. "You don't even have to say anything. I can tell by the way you look at her." Sam said as he slapped Dean on the back. "Now get back to your spot." he ordered. 

         Dean slid into the spot next to you, "Finally." he breathed out causing you to chuckle. 

"You all done?" you asked.

 "Yes. I still don't understand the point of it. I mean, it's just walking." he grumbled. 

"Well, if it makes you feel any better you looked really good out there, superb walking." you said, the corner of your mouth turning up.

 Dean chuckled, "So, my walking looked good?" he teasingly asked.

 "Are you kidding me? You were the best walker out there. 10 out of 10, I would totally watch you walk again." you said, Dean's shoulders shaking with laughter

. Dean pulled you closer to him and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, "I'm really glad you came." he whispered against them.

 "I'm always good for comic relief." you said.

 Dean tucked a curl behind your ear, "I can think of plenty of other things you are good for." he said, causing you to swat his chest.

"Don't start that here. None, of that is allowed until after we leave here." you said. 

Dean glanced down at his watch, "I did the practice walk. Let's get out of here." he said as he grabbed your hand.

 "Yeah, and what are we gonna tell everybody?" you asked.

 Dean looked around, "They won't even notice we're gone." he said.

 You glanced around the room and shrugged your shoulders, "What the hell. Let's go." you said as you started to stand up, Dean quickly jumping up and pulling you to your feet.  "Jesus, Dean, slow down." you hissed as he dragged you behind him. 

"Sorry." he said as he slowed his steps. "It's just you in that dress is hard to take." he said glancing back at you as he pulled you through the door.

 "Car. Now." you said, tempted to kick off your heels so you could walk faster.

 You squeaked when Dean scooped you up bridal style, and took off to the car, "I've waited long enough." he said. 

            Dean placed you on your feet by the passenger side door, his body pressed to yours, as his lips met yours in a hungry kiss. You broke the kiss, "Get in and drive." you demanded. 

 "Drive?" he asked.

 "We are not doing this in the parking lot of a church." you said

. "I'll ask for forgiveness, problem solved." he replied

. "Drive." you ordered. Dean quickly pushed himself from you and ran around the side of the car, practically jumping behind the wheel.

 "Get a move on, sweetheart." he said as you opened the door and slid inside. Dean cranked the engine and peeled out of the parking lot. 

You raised your hips off the seat and worked your panties down your legs, quickly kicking your heels off and pulling them the rest of the way off. You tossed them into Dean's lap, a low moan sounding from his throat, "You're killin' me." he said. 

You slid over in the seat until you were pressed to his side, "I haven't even done anything yet." you purred into Dean's ear. He started to look over at you, "Eyes on the road." you warned before pulling his ear lobe into your mouth and giving it a teasing bite causing Dean to whimper. You scooted back into the seat, giving yourself room to lay down.

 You worked your way onto your stomach, your head hovering over Dean's lap. "Whatcha doin', sweetheart?" Dean anxiously asked.

 "You'll see." you said as your hand worked open his belt, quickly popping the button on his dress pants, and easing down his zipper. Dean sucked in a quick breath when he felt you free him from his pants, "Looks like someone is happy to see me." you said before reaching out with your tongue and giving him a teasing lick.

 "It's not nice to tease." Dean rasped out as you slowly pumped him up and down. 

"Well, I'm not very nice." you said, twisting your wrist as you went over the head of his cock

. "Y/N." Dean pleaded, his voice dripping with desperation. You took him into your mouth slowly working your way down, taking him as deep as you could while you ran your tongue along the vein on the underside of his cock. You hollowed your cheeks as you made your way back up and released him with a wet pop.

 Dean's hands were white knuckling the wheel as you took him back into your mouth, increasing your pace a little and swallowing around him when he hit the back of your throat. "Fuck." Dean moaned, his head thrown back causing the car to swerve a little.

 You popped up, "You wreck my car, it'll be the last thing you ever do." you warned.

 Dean pulled to the side of the road, looking in both directions to make sure the road was clear before pulling you into his lap, "I can't wait anymore." he said as he hiked up your dress.

 Your fingers fumbled with the buttons of Dean's shirt, not being able to take it off all the way, but having the need to feel his skin. You raised yourself up the best you could, the limited space not allowing you much movement.  You placed your hands on Dean's shoulders, whining when you felt him rub himself through your folds, coating himself in your slick. "It isn't nice to tease." you said, throwing his own words back at him, as you plunged yourself down onto his cock, the two of you moaning when your body met  his.

 Dean tangled his hands in your hair, pulling you to him in bruising kiss. You knew that you didn't have much time being out in the open like this so you set a fast pace, pulling yourself almost completely off of him before slamming back down.

 The two of you were panting, moans and the slapping of skin against skin filling the car as you repeatedly slammed yourself down on him. The windows of the car were completely fogged over, your thighs beginning to shake with your efforts. Dean's hands gripped your hips as he started to thrust up into you, one of your hands bracing against the top of the car to keep your head from hitting it. "Oh, fuck, right there." you moaned as Dean's cock pounded away at your g-spot.

 You felt his grip on your hip loosen as he brought his thumb to your clit rubbing fast, hard circles against it. "Come on baby, I know you're close." he said, as he pounded into you relentlessly. He pulled you down harshly to him, the feeling of him pulsing inside you and the pressure he was putting on your clit, sending you over the edge. 

You arched your back, as Dean worked you through your orgasm. "Oh, fuck." you panted, your heart racing.

 The flash of oncoming headlights caught Dean's attention, "Baby, as much as I don't want you to, you have to move." he said, motioning to the oncoming car. You worked your way out of his lap, and plopped down next to him, searching for your panties while Dean started the car. 

                 He pulled up into the driveway of his parent's house, their car in the driveway. "I was hoping we would get back before they did." you said as you attempted to straighten your hair.

 Dean buckled his belt and climbed out of the car, grabbing your panties from the floorboard and tossing them to you. "Thanks." you said as you managed to wiggle into them.

 You climbed out of the car, your hands smoothing your dress as the two of you made your way to the door. Dean opened it as quietly as he could, hoping that the two of you could sneak in, but Mary was making her way down the stairs. "I was wondering where you two snuck off to." she said, a knowing smile on her face.

 "We, uh, just went for a drive." Dean said, not making eye contact with her as he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the stairs. 

Mary stopped on the last step, "You missed a button." she said, pointing to Dean's shirt, her smile growing wider. Dean just nodded, unable to say anything at the moment. "Goodnight, kids." Mary called out. 

"Goodnight." you said. 

"Night, Mom." Dean choked out, the tips of his ears a little red.

 He pushed open the door to his room, pulling you inside, and quickly closing the door. He kicked off his shoes,  shrugged off his jacket, tossing it over the chair before slipping out of his pants.

 You made your way to your bag, grabbed something to sleep in before kicking off your heels, and slipping off your dress. "I really should take a shower, but I'm so tired." you said as you pulled the t-shirt over your head and plopped down on the bed.

 "We can do it in the morning." Dean said as he nudged you to scoot over. 

"I don't think we're both gonna fit." you said as you scooted to the edge of the bed.

 Dean turned on his side, and pulled you back against him, "There, now you have more room." he said as he tangled his legs with yours, his arm laying over your waist.

 You snuggled into him, "I had a good time today. Your family is really nice." you said.

 "They all love you, you know. I don't know what you were so worried about." he said before yawning.

 "Get some sleep, Freckles." you yawned out

. "Night, Y/N." Dean said as he gave you a gentle squeeze, the two of you drifting off to sleep not long after. 

[meggtheegg]

Wow, I did not expect you to answer my question about the Evan actor interpretations so fast! Thank you so much! You said that you could do an analysis on the actor's interpretation on Evan as a character, so I was wondering if you would be willing to do that? I'm going to New York in a few weeks (planning on seeing MLB in DEH) and I am really excited to see DEH for the first time ever!

You’re so welcome! And that’s super exciting! Seeing DEH in person is so powerful, in a way that bootlegs just can’t capture. You’re gonna love it!

And, as requested, here’s some character interpretations :D

Michael Lee Brown - As I said before, MLB’s Evan is definitely on the autism spectrum. But, he doesn’t know it. His official diagnosis seems to be anxiety, and that’s what he’s running with. But the social anxiety is a direct response to people’s actual reactions to him, not a fear of what might happen. He doesn’t really understand social norms, and the way he talks and acts seems different to others. He’s had negative experiences with people, many times before. When Zoe calls him weird and he says “I know,” it feels like an exchange that has happened a lot. Especially with a friend like Jared, who breaks apart everything he says and does, he is extremely aware of the fact that, try as he might, he doesn’t always know how to act. And all the therapy and anxiety medication isn’t helping him much, either, because neither of them are addressing the actual cause of his struggles. Because of that, he feels broken. He avoids talking to people out of fear that he’ll get it wrong, and he has this desperate need to keep everyone around him happy all the time. His worst fear is people being mad at him, and that’s a big thing that pushes him through his every decision. It’s what makes him keep the lie going, it’s what makes him send Alana the note, and noticeably, it’s what gets him to admit the reason he broke his arm. With other Evans, Mike and Alex were gentler in that scene, coaxing the truth out of him, but when it’s MLB, they both yell at him. He doesn’t like big shows of emotion, in general. Seeing Cynthia cry is almost as painful for him as being yelled at. I think his Evan is in the unfortunate situation where he’s extremely empathetic, but struggles to process and deal with emotions. As for his relationships, he sees through some of Jared’s bullshit but does believe that he doesn’t actually want to be friends. He loves his mom, but doesn’t entirely trust her. He thinks she wants to “fix” him, and resents that enough to push her away. His crush on Zoe borders on a special interest. He knows every little detail about her, and I think it’s a compulsion at this point to learn more and more. Cynthia and Larry definitely become his surrogate parents, to the point that he forgets about Connor every so often, but whenever he’s reminded of him, he looks devastated for them. Especially for Larry. Also, I don’t remember if the others do this, but he has a bit of a freudian slip during “To Break In A Glove.” Instead of immediately saying “Connor was really lucky to have a dad who cares so much about taking care of stuff,” he just says “Connor was really lucky to have a dad.” He quickly catches himself and adds the rest, but he makes that a noticeable moment. 

Colton Ryan - The first word that comes to mind with Colton’s Evan is fear. He’s a very frightened kid. Where you feel like MLB’s Evan has had a lot of negative social experience, Colton’s Evan seems to just overthink everything. His mind jumps to the worst possible outcome of every situation, and he constantly does damage control for something that may never need it. He and his mom have a better relationship in the beginning, and it only falls apart once he becomes close with the Murphys. It’s like he doesn’t notice the flaws in their relationship until he experiences a different one. The things he says when they’re fighting come across as true, but they seem to have popped into his mind in the moment, rather than being something he’s wanted to say for a long time. The biggest thing he needs is a supportive figure in his life, and that’s what the Murphys provide. He needs reassurance that he’s doing a good job. He’s a really smart, nice kid with extreme self-esteem issues. Once he gains confidence, he thrives. His crush on Zoe feels more like a typical high school crush than an obsession, and their relationship is actually pretty sweet. (Colton is the only Evan who had believable chemistry with Laura Dreyfuss, in my opinion.) In the scene before Only Us, you really feel like you’re just watching two teenagers talking to each other. But, the loss of that relationship doesn’t feel so important because most high school relationships end, and that’s exactly what they feel like. A high school relationship. Fun, but ultimately temporary. He and Jared work off of each other really well, and you feel like they’ll actually make up after the end of the show. From the start, Evan’s very aware of his bullshit, and he’s just as sarcastic back to him. Even though Jared is probably one of the biggest things tearing his confidence down, he’s also one of the only people he’s comfortable with, in the beginning. They’re both relaxed around each other, and it’s the thrill of the Connor Project that pulls him away, not a genuine belief that Jared doesn’t care if they’re friends or not.

Taylor Trensch - Where Colton is frightened and MLB is awkward, Taylor is bubbly. He is the smiliest Evan, always cheerful and thinking of the positives. You sometimes get a glimpse into the idea that it’s an act, but a lot of the time, it seems genuine. He doesn’t seem to realize that Jared’s comments are mean-spirited, or that Connor signed his name in awkwardly large letters, and he seems genuinely grateful for both. Zoe seems to intimidate him way more than Connor does (and maybe that’s what he likes about her.) Taylor’s Evan is a double-sided coin. He’s the most outwardly friendly of the Evans I’ve seen, but also the most selfish. He almost seems to be manipulating the situation with the Murphys from the beginning. The fact that Taylor plays down the anxiety so much makes his actions feel more like calculated plans than split-second decisions. Once For Forever has happened, he is all in on making the lie as convincing as possible. He seems blissfully unaware of a lot of things, dismissing Jared in Act 2 with the same big smile and cheerful tone he always has. He’s shocked whenever anyone’s mad at him, like it never crossed his mind that he wasn’t being nice. He’s also the most in denial of how he broke his arm. He’s sobbing by the end of that scene, and still doesn’t seem to have accepted it. When he tries to tell Heidi about it later, he breaks down sobbing again. This Evan is more immature than the others, and either knows exactly what he’s doing or has greatly misinterpreted what he’s doing. He’s a master at convincing himself of things that aren’t true, and it makes sense that he does the same to other people.

Roman Banks - Roman is a very shy Evan. Much like Colton, he tries to make himself as small and unnoticeable as possible. He’s a genuinely sweet kid, but he really doesn’t know where he fits in. And, I think his father leaving has had the biggest impact on Roman’s Evan. If I really wanted to overanalyze things, the fact that Heidi is white and Evan isn’t adds another emotional level to that plotline. He’s missing an important figure in his life and is constantly trying to fill that void. He’s also very much a kid. He hasn’t been exposed to a lot of the world’s problems, and when he’s thrown into the spotlight, he doesn’t seem to know what to do with it. He has a desperate need to keep people from worrying about him, so he puts on a very thin mask that a lot of people don’t see through. His mom, especially, takes everything he says and does at face value, when he wishes she would look harder. With the Murphys, he feels like it’s a little safer to not be completely okay all the time, because they aren’t either. They’re grieving their child, and they are able to provide each other mutual comfort. He helps to fill the void, and they let him be a little more vulnerable. He and Zoe together are just cute. They’re kids who are smitten with each other and have no idea what to do with those feelings, and it’s kind of adorable. Roman and Mallory work together really well, and seem like genuine friends irl. He doesn’t put her on as much of a pedestal as the other Evans sometimes do. He just really, really likes her. He’s a little more awkward around Larry, because he’s not really sure what to do with a father figure. But, when he takes a moment to open up to him, there’s finally a moment of real bonding, and from that point, Larry is constantly gently reassuring him. When the truth comes out, where it usually hits hardest that things with Cynthia or Zoe have been broken, Roman’s Evan losing his bond with Larry is what stands out the most. There’s a sort of relief during the scene before So Big/So Small, because finally, for the first time, he’s vulnerable with Heidi, and she accepts him. You can see the weight that’s lifted from his shoulders, and his improvement by the orchard scene feels like it was largely because of that freedom to be open with his mom.

[emcscared-whumps]

3, 9, 22, and 24 for the writing ask!

Questions from This Post!

***I actually received two asks for the from same post, and you have a couple of the same queries, so uh, my apologies I'm gonna copy paste those bc I feel bad about linking the other post as an answer lmao, but also, why write it twice lol

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

I sacrifice the blood of my innocent characters on the altar of sadism and worship the Higher Powers in hopes they grant me 50 extra words to put into my doc

jkjkjk lmao

I don't have much of what could be considered a ritual. I usually like a moderately dim, quiet room, I brew some tea, put on a Spotify playlist full of neat but quiet instrumentals, and lay a weighted blanket over my lap, and I crack open both my planning doc and my ActualWritingTM doc and see where I'm at and which bit I want to work on :)

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9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

Uhh... Well, the feeling of eyes boring into your back and the sound of floors creaking in the night when no one's there is certainly unsettling (both true btw, I don't joke about that shit :bSweat:), but I don't think we have much definitive scientific evidence to prove anything about the existence of ghosts.

Just creepy anecdotes, unexplained occurrences, and horror campfire stories. And you have no real way to tell how exaggerated or not they are since you were never there. Or you never saw, even if you were. I think it's a lot to do with psychic and mind shit, so it's perfectly reasonable that one person could see a ghost and another, standing staring at the same spot, might not.

Personally?

I don't think our current science practices or approaches allow for large/reliable enough study into that field. We also might not have the technology. And we have the tendency to laugh at the psychics/mediums etc etc.

If I asked my uncle, I'm sure he'd say some interesting/existential stuff about about what it means to be alive, exist, and what our consciousness really is... whether the universe is real or just our brain's way of interpreting different stimuli... I would have to agree with the bits that I can wrap my mind around lmao

Short answer? I'm undecided, but if they wanna chill in my closet? Cool, just don't make a mess. You can look at my cool rock collection, ghost friend :)

Fun fact: I'm in the Danny Phantom fandom lmao because ofc I am

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

I like to think I'm fairly organised-- I have different folders for different realms, and within those, the different stories set in those realms, and then inside those, I have note documents, outline documents, draft documents, and a snippet folder. They're all formatted the same, and the document names are also formatted the same.

I think it's very organised, and it helps me keep track of where I put everything so I can find it again.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

I do sooo much prep work.

I am a notorious overthinker, and it shows in many aspects of my life, from my writing, to karate, to any kind of planning.

When I plan my writing, I make a lot of notes that stem from "main events".

For example, Timmy bb might need to go look for Pete in the aquarium. I'll write out what he does before finding Pete, and afterward, and I'll flesh it out with basic descriptors and emotions. It ends up half writing, I've started calling it 'scaffolding', because it sorta is.

E.g. Timmy blanches, he feels sick, and he feels his share of the guilt for getting it so so wrong. He should’ve known, he should’ve figured it out

It takes a little while, but if I already have the ideas, it's very quick because you can get a flow up very easily.

And then ofc, I come back several days, or even weeks later having daydreamed incessantly about it, and add more and more detail until it looks like Actual Writing.

Rinse and repeat and the process can take years :mElmoFire:

Shifting Phases though is a total fucking bitch because I started when I was 15 and wanted whump whump whump and didn't know how the characters worked yet. So, the plot is a constant battle, but I'm really making headway with the addition of 5 years of simmering on the cooktop :D

I suppose I do enjoy even the planning because it's still technically writing-- I'm not starting off on a blank page, and I have something to assist in the daydreaming :))

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