#I am consistently getting distracted from the main plot

[sweet7simple]

rodimus obtains a beautiful rare crystal from a dangerous cave as a present for drift, and gets himself all banged up in the process. ratchet is torn between scolding roddy's recklessness and appreciating his devotion to their mate.

This is a fun one because Rodimus would absolutely do something like this.

It starts with an away mission to a planet which has organic life, but no one responds to the Lost Light's polite comm pings. There are signs of advanced technology, not a single satellite in the sky or sign of a spacecraft or energy readings that confirm any high output of electrical energy on the planet's surface. Whatever is down there probably isn't going to have an issue with them meandering around and having a look-see, right?

So Rodimus is on the away team with Brainstorm, Perceptor, Swerve and Velocity plus some others (Cyclonus, Whirl, and Tailgate are somewhere around here. Rodimus is sure they're safe. He's pretty sure they're safe. They better be safe). Rodimus has a comm line to Megatron, Minimus, and Drift on the bridge and he's feeding them video data so they can see what he's seeing.

Well, Brainstorm gets to this cave they want to explore, but the methane readings are off the charts.

"Let me put it this way," he says as he holds an analyzer in one servo and gestures with the other, "if you so much as snap your digits down there, this whole mountain region will stop existing and us probably with it."

And then he follows it up with, "So everyone be careful and stay with your buddy!" right before he tries to march jovially into the mouth of the cave.

Perceptor snags him back and holds him by one of his wings. "What he means is, this is a dangerous endeavor, moreso because of the probably of causing a chemical reaction that can destabilize this mountain region as well as trap us underground if we are not already destroyed by the heat and shock wave of the air blast. However, Brainstorm and I would like permission to take that risk upon ourselves. Our detectors are picking up readings of a highly conductive metal within this cave, which may be highly resourceful to us."

Rodimus gives Brainstorm a look.

Brainstorm points down into the cave. "There's copper down there. Copper is good for us. We want more copper. The medibay will be very happy with you if we bring back copper. Ratchet might even reward you if you let us bring back copper." He manages to pulse the lights of his optics in a suggestive manner.

Rodimus is suddenly very much onboard with this. "Yeah, sure, I'll go down into the cave. The rest of you can wait here."

Perceptor and Brainstorm and Swerve and Velocity all stare at him.

"Um," Velocity begins politely, and then stops.

Brainstorm takes Rodimus by the pauldrons. "How do I put this the nice way.... Out of everyone here, you're the one most likely to make the mountain go boom. I say that with Swerve standing right next to you."

"Hey! I'm the most qualified to go into that cave!" Swerve shakes his servo at the jet.

"Yeah, which is why Rodimus is the one most likely to make the whole place crash down for once," Brainstorm says.

"I'm also the one most likely to survive if the whole place crashes down," Rodimus points out. "The heat and air blast won't destroy me because of my outlier ability and I can just recharge if I get stuck and wait for all of you to dig me out."

"Uh, Roddy, sweetie, if a whole mountain drops down on top of you, it's going to take a really long time for us to dig you out," Brainstorm explains.

"He does have a point, however," Perceptor says, pinching his chin thoughtfully with his other arm folded over his chest plate.

This goes back and forth for awhile. Perceptor is actually on Rodimus's side that he should go down into the cave by himself, see if the readings they are getting are actually for copper, and bring back some samples. If it turns out to be copper, and a sizeable amount of it, they can send Rodimus back down for bigger samples.

Brainstorm is saying, "I can't believe I'm the one trying to do the smart thing, but Rodimus will absolutely walk in there, snap his fingers to see if the mountain really collapses on top of himself, and then be surprised when we turn out to be right."

"I will not do that," Rodimus promises. He had thought about it, but he's not that stupid. If scientists are telling him that the mountain will go boom, he's going to trust them. This time. Only because the last planet they were on, they told him to not walk so close to the edge of a cliff because the slope of it suggested it wasn't stable and he'd gone, blah blah blah, how can you know just from the slope? And then Cyclonus, Brainstorm, and Whirl had had to airlift him out of the river at the bottom of the cliff and no one, I repeat, no one will let him live it down.

He's not going to be the captain who blew up an entire mountain on top of that. He refuses. He's going to be careful. As careful as he can be. He is, at least, not going to snap his fingers to see if it ignites the methane and blows the whole place up.

Swerve is on Rodimus's side because, "Just in case you die down there, can you state now in front of these witnesses that I'll be co-captain in your place? Please? And, you know, don't die down there. But, if you do - "

Velocity isn't necessarily against him going, but she is against him going alone. "Just in case of injuries, I think I should go with you," she reasons.

"But what if we're injured if the mountain blows?" Swerve asks. "We're standing right here."

Rodimus plants his servos on his faulds. "Well, go stand somewhere else!"

So the rest of the team gets out of blast range (which is very far away) and they send out a broadcast telling the other teams to also get out of blast range and they warn the Lost Light above the planet's atmosphere about what's about to happen (they already know since they're tied into Rodimus's video feed and Rodimus has already turned off their comm feed so that they can stop harassing him about how this is a stupid idea and he's about to get himself killed and he better not do it, Rodimus, we're serious -).

Once everyone's a safe distance away, Rodimus goes down into the cave with Velocity and some data packets from Perceptor about what copper rock even looks like. They're actually quite colorful, he likes them.

Velocity is tip-toeing along like the very movement of her joints might set off the methane, so Rodimus makes a show of being very unbothered by everything. He's joking with Velocity, making her laugh, getting her to unwind a little bit as they go further down into the network of caves.

They're limited in where they can go since most of the caves are too small for them to fit through, but the major systems are very accommodating.

"Drones," Velocity groans, almost slapping her own forehelm before she pauses and puts her servo back down. "We could have sent drones down in our place. We were so busy arguing with you that we forgot we didn't have to send anyone down here. And they would be able to fit through the smaller tunnels and chambers too."

Rodimus had actually thought of drones, but he wants to be able to take a hunk of this copper rock to Ratchet himself, dug out by his own servos, and have his mate berate him for his stupidity right before he gets rewarded for his gift.

"Well, if there's a lot of copper, we can just send the drones down next time instead of coming back ourselves," he offers.

They eventually find some colorful rocks in a side of a cave. Rodimus digs his digits in and scoops it out. The cave wall is softer than he expected.

Velocity is also very carefully digging out only as much copper rock as she can carry. Rodimus's optic catches on the glint of something next to her.

"Hey, what's that?"

She turns her helm to look at what he's pointing at. "Oh, it appears to be some kind of... gem, I guess. I'm sorry, my geology is poor. I'm sure it would be very pretty if it was polished, though."

As it is, it's some kind of milky green where it just breaches the wall, dull and without much shine to it.

Rodimus opens his comm to Drift (and Drift alone) to show him his video feed. "Hey, sweetspark, what am I looking at?"

Drift gasps through the comm line. Rodimus's interest is instantly perked. "That's emerald! I have only ever seen emeralds on Earth. They're beautiful once they've been tumbled and polished, and their energies are so pure. They can channel emotions such as love and improve the health of your spark." And then he gasps again. "Roddy, turn to your right. There is something... Yes, a little more. There. Primus, that's a rare form of chrysoberyl. It also resonates with the spark and promotes feelings of love. And it's so rare. On earth, they called it alexandrite and it was still in short supply." His voice is ringing with longing.

Rodimus is determined now. "Anything for you, sweetspark."

"No, Roddy, you're there for the copper."

"And I've got the copper. No worries. Like I was telling Velocity, we'll just send some drones down for more once we get back to the surface."

"Then the drones can pick up the crystals, it's okay."

But it isn't. Rodimus is going to be the best mate ever. He's going to give Ratchet his copper rocks and he's going to give Drift his crystals because they deserve it and because it will mean more from him than some drone that can't even recognize how gorgeous and awesome his mates are.

Velocity has stopped mining the copper rock and is watching him closely. "Be careful, Rodimus. Be very careful. If you scrape your digits across those crystals..."

"Don't worry, I got this." He pauses. "But, just in case, you should start up without me. I'll meet you up there." He turns off his comm feed where Drift has started yelling at him, echoed by other voices on the bridge.

"I'll stay," Velocity says, scared but brave. Brave because she's scared and still will not leave him.

He respects her. "Okay. Just give me a klik and we can head back up."

For him, it doesn't take long to dig around some crystals and put them directly in his subspace (he's going to have to hose it down, he realizes with a grimace. There's dirt and sediment everywhere now). With Velocity watching with the widest optics, posed as if ready to start running, it make the process feel eons longer.

But he gets the crystals and nothing combusts and they have the copper rocks. They leave the cave and the air quality is almost instantly different without the methane cloud setting off their sensors.

It's all very anticlimactic for Rodimus, but everyone else is acting like he just barely managed to escape the certain grasp of death.

The moment he and Velocity are out of blast range, Perceptor and Brainstorm send down some drones to get more samples and Rodimus and Velocity take one of the shuttles up to the ship.

The mecha waiting for Rodimus are Not Happy. Megatron has that look on his face that says, "I've eaten Cybertronians before out of desperation, but I'm willing to bite you in half out of sheer frustration." Minimus tells him how many rules he broke by the order they were broken in.

Drift has that closed off look on his face that says he's more upset than he is angry and he doesn't want to show it. Ratchet just looks thunderous as he yanks Rodimus in that direction and another, checking him over even though the only thing wrong is that his servos are dirty. Velocity doesn't point out that she already checked Rodimus over because this is just a Ratchet thing, not a medic thing. Ratchet needs to know for sure that Rodimus is safe.

It's not the easiest checkup he's had since he's holding copper rocks in the curve of one arm and refuses to let them go for anything. Not until Ratchet is done with him and he is able to, with a sunny grin, hand over the copper.

Ratchet looks incredibly sour as he takes the dirty rocks in his servos. "I can't even do anything with these, you fool! Swerve has to draw the wire from these! And you left Swerve on the planet. Now my servos are just dirty."

That was not how it was explained to Rodimus and now he's kind of angry that, at no point, did Swerve mention this.

"Yeah, but this is your copper," he stresses. "You can do whatever you want with it."

Ratchet is clearly tired of his slag. "Sure, Rodimus." He ex-vents. "Thank you for risking your life for some rocks a drone could have brought me without endangering the life of my mate."

"You're welcome!" Rodimus says, choosing to ignore everything that came after the thank you. If he thinks about it too hard, it might ruin his mood.

At least it makes Ratchet huff with humor. Ratchet wraps one of his dirty servos around the back of Rodimus's helm and pulls him down into a kiss. "You're an idiot, but at least you're my idiot."

Drift steps up to them and puts a servo gently against Rodimus's chest shield. "You didn't just risk your life down there to impress Ratty," he says knowingly. "I'm upset with you, but I am so, so thankful as well. Never risk your life like that again. You are worth so much more than copper and crystals. But, thank you."

Rodimus opens up his subspace, grimaces as he feels how dirty everything is, and pulls out the clumps of crystals. "If it makes my mates happy, I'd do a lot more than just walk through a cave and pick up some rocks." He gets another grateful kiss.

Rodimus's spoiler shakes from how high he's holding it. He's beaming with joy as Ratchet grimaces down at his filthy gift, a calculative look in his optics as he's already thinking about what to do with the copper that will get drawn from it, and as Drift gives his own crystals a much softer, much happier look.

Their happiness means so much to him.

[paeliae-occasionally]

Writeblr interview!

Thanks for the tags @drchenquill and @theink-stainedfolk.

Short stories, novels or poems?

I am currently only working on novels, but I consistently have to write little short stories when parts of the world come up that aren’t relevant to the story. I haven’t written a poem in a while, I might do that.

What genre do you prefer reading?

I read fantasy, sci-fi, the usual but then the other half of my bookshelf is physics and psychology books. I also read lots of books about Ancient Greece and Rome and have recently purchased one on Venice.

What genre do you prefer writing?

The world I am currently writing starts high fantasy then falls, so in the time of the main plot it is more of a general fantasy.

Are you a planner or a write-as-i-go kind of person?

I do plan because otherwise my vague concept of a story will never become a plot, but the outline can change as I go if I feel like another idea would be better.

What music do you listen to while writing the story?

I can’t listen to music while writing. It distracts me. I do however have a constant internal playlist and while working on Kell in the Xaeren WIP I have she used to be mine playing. It is not consistent.

Fav books/movies

Ooh, ok favourite books include: Strange the dreamer, Babel, Piranesi, The wind singer series and The mistborn series. I don’t really watch many movies.

Any Current WIPs?

Yep, They don’t have titles yet but the two I work on the most are Xaeren and Paeliae.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be?

Dark blue cloak with many pockets for runes or spell components. I also hide trinkets in there. I would have a flowy blue starry top and black leggings. It would be very breathable and easy to move in and would blend in well with shadows.

Create a character description of yourself.

You look over to the side of the room, and there was nobody there. It was confusing, like a vacuum in space where you knew person should be but they just weren’t. They didn’t break the silence so you couldn’t hear their offer to join them at the table, yet you accepted all the same and sat down. Despite their absence they filled the chair opposite you and didn’t smile because they weren’t there. Still you could feel the amusement that managed to escape them.

Do you like incorporating people you actually know into your writing?

No. It feels weird to write real people. I do steal names but that is about it.

Are you kill-happy with the characters?

I don’t like killing heroes without good reason. I will do it to show stakes or for tragedy but for it to mean anything you have to use it sparingly.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Neither. Lemonade sometimes.

Slow or Fast writer?

Depends on my mood. If I can focus I can write quite quickly but if I am not on task it takes ages to write anything.

Where/who/what do you find inspiration from?

daydreams, other people’s writing.

If you were put into a fantasy world, what would you be?

I would have magic even if I have to study for another 10 years to get there. Whoever I have to bribe or kill, I will get magic.

Fave book cliche?

Hmm… I love magic/action prologue then cut to our main character on a farm or in regular life somewhere. I use it all to much just to set a tone but it is a bit cliche.

Least fave book cliche?

I hate miscommunication. It can work in comedy settings but if you want a dramatic story and the threat to the characters could be resolved by a short conversation then I get frustrated.

Fave scenes to write?

Conversations. Especially conversations where something new is implied about a character. I love getting a vibe from a character’s dialogue and then seeing it come true later.

Most productive time of day for writing?

Whenever the motivation hits. I schedule writing for the morning around 8-10 I have to get stuff done.

Reason for writing?

The people have to go somewhere. I have had stories before that I have forgotten and it is so sad, I just want to put them somewhere more long lasting than my mind.

Tagging @illarian-rambling, @phoenixradiant, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @leahnardo-da-veggie and @the-golden-comet

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

i resent very much that i am writing twd meta this late in the year of our lord two-thousand-twenty-two after my long journey to distance myself from it, but the words are rattling around in my mind grapes, and because i am incapable of keeping things to myself, how about one more go for old time’s sake?

i think the main thing that i want to say to y’all is that we didn’t imagine it

obviously caryl has had chemistry from the very first scene they had together, but even these past few years, where we’ve dissected and meta’d every second of their screentime together under kang’s watch to death, and been like “here’s how bernie can still win!” we weren’t being delusional. the romantic beats were all there. the narrative was set up that way. she was wearing a ring in that dream sequence. he brought her a cherokee rose on a tray. they longed for each other, and planned to run away together, and it was never once foolish of us to believe otherwise, bc the only reason it didn’t happen is bc the narrative got eaten by amc’s desire to beat the shit out of twd for every drop of money it could possibly give them, and in the process they contracted Chris Charter Syndrome, which is unfortunately fatal

for those unfamiliar (tho with this group there’s probably enough crossover that i don’t rly need to explain), chris carter, the creator of the x-files, is notoriously dense af about how much of his show’s popularity is driven by his ~amazing lore~ vs the audience’s desire to have mulder and scully fuck

every conversation with him, to this day, goes p much like this:

[chris carter: people love the x-files for the mystery and intrigue and they don’t want resolved sexual tension, they want to watch our mains constantly will-they/won’t-they while battling government conspiracies until the end of time

the audience: we would watch one hundred billion hours of mulder and scully searching for bigfoot but comically missing him every time bc they get distracted by fucking each other, we could not care less about your plot. your plot doesn’t even make sense

chris carter: they just can’t wait to see what twists happen next

the audience: we are tired of the twists, and we want them to bone. in fact, here are graphs and studies and stats that all say that we would be much happier if you would just give us mulder and scully fighting silly monsters and stop trying to be gritty and dark with your plots that even you admit you don’t understand

chris carter: i am very good at my job

the audience: you are not good at your job]

rinse and repeat

if this sounds like gimple, that’s bc he has the worst case of CCS i’ve seen in a long time, and it’s unfortunate bc it’s contagious, and those who are especially susceptible are misogynistic money-hungry dudebro companies who think that what people want are GRIT and BLOOD and MAN PAIN, even when their statistics consistently tell them that they are wrong. a key component of CCS is an undeserved inflation of one’s ego and the inability to recognize the fact that one is making an ass out of oneself, which is why the past 84 years have looked like this:

[gimple: man, people love my negan and rick man-pain arc

the audience: no we don’t

gimple: i know what the ladies want, they want jerk-off contests between mediocre men while i kill off all their faves

the audience: no we don’t

amc: hmmm, while i’m picking up what you’re laying down, gimple, let’s see what this other showrunner can do for a minute

kang: people want stories about people. they want to see the seeds of character development that were planted at the very beginning bloom. they want to see the characters with chemistry go down on one another

the audience: yes, this, this is what we want

amc: interesting concept

amc: however

amc: that sounds suspiciously like conflict/resolution, and if things are neatly resolved then we can’t make money out of it anymore. i know that all the statistics say that caryl is our top ship, and that we should get them together, and let them have a concluded, peaceful ending

amc: BUT

amc: let’s instead launch a spin-off with one (1) of the duo (the male, obviously), and then let’s leave their storyline ambiguous bc that way they’ll follow us to the shitty spin-off, but also anyone who just has the hots for daryl/norman reedus will also watch bc he’s still an Eligible Bachelor ;) 

amc: this is a good idea that will make us lots of money

the audience: no it will not

amc: gimple, we need your wisdom again, btw, the people miss you

the audience: no we do not

gimple: who’s ready for some GRIT AND BLOOD AND MORE MAN PAIN?!?!?!

the audience: for the love of god]

it’s stupid and exhausting, and i have Mad Respect for those of you who have been putting so much effort into making sure our voices have been heard. ( @my-mt-heart , @gunmetal-ring​ , @lighteneverything​ to name just a few) plz know that your voice WAS heard, and i fully believe that you DID make an impact. it’s just that, when push comes to shove (i.e. when you’re dealing with misogynistic rich white men), CCS is one helluva disease

and it’s sad! it’s very very sad! i’ve been spending my time away over in the “our flag means death” universe, and y’all, it has been WILD. all of the interactions with the show’s creator and the cast have been “oh you enjoyed that? we’ll be sure to keep that in mind so that we can cultivate a show that you will love, bc it makes more sense to listen to our viewers than to ourselves sometimes, bc they’re the ones who keep us from driving ourselves directly into a ditch! thank you for your feedback, we appreciate and love you!”

like??????

but see, that’s the difference between creators who are in it for the story vs. creators who are in it for the money. if you are solely money-driven you’re never going to be able to dedicate yourself to the narrative, bc narratives have concrete endings. they require you to not always be looking for that next spin-off, or to not sacrifice a character’s integrity to fit it inside of a bad plotline. they are shows like the good place, that had an ending in mind from the start. they are shows like ofmd or what we do in the shadows, where the audience’s opinion gets listened to. even supernatural (mother fucking supernatural, you guys!!!) catered to its biggest fanbase better than twd did. it might have been clown shoes, but destiel’s last-minute confession was at least explicitly romantic. amc was too cowardly to give us even that, bc it might “jeopardize” their spin-off 

what we can take solace in, tho, is the fact that they are in the end stages of CCS. they think they’ve given enough to string caryl fans along over to the spin-off era of twd, but they haven’t. they’re going to crash and burn, and go out the way of GoT, in that everyone is going to be like “wow that was... let’s just not talk about that one, huh?” and it will be satisfying to watch them fizzle out into nothing when they get hit with the grim reality that they should have gotten their heads out of their asses and listened to their fans who told them that, yes, your “hot male lead” needs that middle-age grey-haired woman you cast to the side so carelessly, and that fact doesn’t change just bc you can’t fathom people caring about a woman over the age of 25

whatever. it is what it is. what matters most here is what i said up top, which is that we didn’t imagine it. we did not waste our time. we were not stupid. we had these beautiful characters laid out before us, and a storyline that supported them, and we took it and ran with it in the right direction. it’s not our fault that the narrative didn’t follow

our retribution will be the fact that now it’s our turn not to follow. instead, we can finally rest, not having to worry about the future, bc who fucking gives a shit about their dumb taunts, trying to get us to watch the spin-off for the “possibility” of caryl way down the line? we’re over it. we’re not chasing anymore carrots. we’re happy here in our caryl sandbox, with our li’l aus and headcanons and fix-its, and we don’t have to fucking discourse at each other every week anymore. we can come and go with a lightness we haven’t felt maybe fucking ever, bc it’s over now. it’s not in their hands anymore, it’s in ours

it was real. the feelings we felt, the relationships that were made between us, they were real. and it will all continue to be real in whatever way we decide to keep it. we can and should grieve what could have/should have been, and we can and should be mad, because there’s no question, we were wronged, but let’s not stay in that negativity place forever. let’s not forget why we all were drawn here to begin with, and let’s not forget what we’ve gained from each other 

it wasn’t “just a tv show.” it was, and is, a community that has influenced lives to the point of changing their entire trajectory. i have written over one million (1,000,000+) words of caryl fic, and bc of that i have been able to self-publish my own book, and get into freelance writing. bc of caryl, i have been able to ghostwrite and collaborate with published authors, and am on my way to making my actual day job being writing, which is something i’ve wanted since i was itty bitty. bc of caryl, i have traveled the world. bc of caryl, i have made relationships and connections that have, quite literally, changed my entire life. amc can’t take any of that away from me. it can’t take any of that away from YOU

so yeah, shit sucks, but hey, i got something for you:

we are fine, fam, or we will be, once we’ve had a chance to lick our wounds, because we are the holders of the narrative now. caryl is OURS, finally

so, when you’re feeling up to it, come join me in the sandbox, and let’s have some fun

stay hype, stan each other, bc twd is in its grave, but caryl is forever,

-diz

p.s. felt weird not having a 30 rock reference in here anywhere so:

k bye 4 real

[hypervoxel]

hiya, for your ask game: 🍬🍄❄️🧩. love to stalk your blog by the way <3

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Gotta be honest, once I get into a fandom I will leave the main tags as soon as I find my niche and a group of blogs to follow and a few Discord servers to join, and not venture out into the main fandom again. Idk what's popular. I have complained about many takes, but I am also very forgetful so.... Uh, Vox is asexual, Alastor is actually a terrible person (affectionate), Valentino absolutely has a tragic backstory (and is still so evil <3 ), Velvette is literally The Worst and kinda a pick-me girl (I love her), Charlie doesn't understand how to help people and it is detrimental to the people she's trying to help (I also love her). Carmilla is so ridiculous and I don't understand shipping her with Velvette. I don't get Husk (derogatory, but only slightly and mostly in a 'I don't think his writing was consistent, and he was used - as many characters on this series were - as more of a plot device than a complete character in his own right. His dialogue was thrown in to tell-not-show aspects of other characters in a way that felt inorganic to me, which turned me off of his character almost completely' way). Boom, there, so many unpopular opinions <3

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Velvette is so connected to phones and apps and things of that modern tech nature. Therefore: Velvette also broadcasts and recieves radio waves, but only those in the Bluetooth spectrum. She can AirDrop memes onto Vox's face (or, in canon, call his TV head directly, bypassing his phone). Vox is so absolutely not replacing the quiet ease he and Alastor used to share with their similar thinking/perceiving/broadcasting methods (it's alll radio waves) with Velvette. Totally. Totally. His past relationships would never~ cloud how he treats her.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

Well first of all Me I'm writing it!! So incredibly slowly and badly, but I am writing it nonetheless 😤 I actually have two or three or a dozen ideal dream ideas rattling around in my brain. Obviously, my beloved Damaged Nerve where I throw 20 ideas I enjoy together into one fic (or at least talk about doing that bc. I am always getting distracted instead of updating it). Service shark Vark!!! The VoxVal non-consenual consensual non-consent (it makes sense to me)! Velvette!! Vox killing angels with his bare hands! And getting an arm and half his head cut off (he gets better immediately bc he is all easily replaceable parts)! Charlie and Vaggie watching a Sinner attacking Exorcists right before Charlie was supposed to present her rehabilitation project and having to defend ideas, which is suddenly made even more difficult for her because now it looks like Overlords are planning to fight back against the Exterminations, and he didn't win but neither did the angels, so maybe Hell can fight back against Heaven (wasn't that why the Exterminations happen? Because Heaven is afraid of them uprising? Well, maybe they should be afraid...) Vaggie fallen angel feelings (those were her sisters and she's so bitter about them and she's so scared for them)! The timeline of Exterminations being moved up and Vox getting blamed for it! (Sinners who were previously excited about what he did turn against him bc of the backlash from Heaven and from other Sinners.) Carmilla hating the Vees! Inane and uniformed, smug wannabes! (She still killed an Exorcist for real tho, and Vox only wounded the ones he fought. She thinks she's better than him because she fought to protect the people she loves. Vox literally also did that, except it wasn't people it was a shark. She'd hate that too.) VoxVal horrible terrible no good very unhealthy relationship! VoxValVel also horrible relationship <3 They love each other, they can't live without each other <3 None of them are allowed to leave this ship, even when it's sinking <3 Vox won't lose a partner again; no one else can leave him like Alastor did.

But right now I've been working on a Vox & The Vees-centric rape recovery (or, well, there's not much recovery happening yet. It is just a long and drawn out breakdown where they madly scramble to resecure their power and influence and become more powerful so no one can ever hurt any of them again, and become so codependent) fic and it is everything to me and I do not have it really plotted out, I just have so many Thoughts and vaguely connected scenes for it that I bother people on discord with (hi to any people on discord reading this. Thank u for listening <3 )

Also I am (thanks to your ask about Vox's biology from earlier), daydreaming about a fic I have lovingly named Planned Obsolescence (tho I'm gonna have to make sure no one's taken that title yet) about Vox upgrading himself and upgrading himself and upgrading himself and he can never stay satisfied because the world marches on and he has to march with it, he can't be left behind because he needs to be the one innovating and leading. And upgrading himself.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Look I'm looking for things that are so specific that if a fic looks like it might be somewhat about what I want, I'll read it. I will click away if you call Alastor a w*ndigo tho.

Wait I thought of something else and then this next part got long and it's also about rape, so I'm throwing it behind a read more

Also!! Holy fuck I just remembered but I've run into it twice now. The Implication that rape is worse when it happens to someone who is already sex repulsed. Like specifically in these scenarios the rape was not a punishment not an attempt at corrective rape. Like, that I would get, actually, if the motivation itself was a hate crime, which adds a whole other dimension to worry about. But, no. That wasn't. I can't even articulate the poor taste it left in my mouth, it's just. Why would you make a character more horrified to learn their friend was raped after they also learned that their friend is ace? "He never would have wanted it-" hello?????? Yeah! That's why it's called rape????

(But also - while I do absolutely love reading about sex repulsed aro/ace characters (lol they're so me) - oftentimes a big part of what I am looking for in a story about rape recovery is a character struggling with the fact that their body did "enjoy" the physical sensation. That sex is supposed to happen with someone you love/are attracted to/trust, and this was a perversion of it, and it fucks up how you view future sexual relationships.) (And like, the physical sensation being pleasurable while your mind feels only disgust and repulsed is. An aspect that I feel like many can relate to, not only sex repulsed aces. Unless I'm projecting??) (Of course, recovery from the perspective of a character who was sex repulsed and remains so is also so so good.) (In general, it's a topic that needs to be portrayed with a kind of nuance and understanding that is often hard for an author to find the right words for. I'm sure I've even written thing poorly here, and inevitably said something that will be hurtful to a person with a different perspective than my own. Sorry! But such is the reality of everyone being individuals, unfortunately. The things that bring some people comfort will cause other people distress.)

[omgpurplefattie]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

@nutcasewithaknife tagged me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

49

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

320,560 -- they do pile up

What fandoms do you write for?

Started out with Star Trek TOS in the 1990s, now fully in several c-drama fandoms which I all throw in together in a modern AU.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All English -- short funny Loki/Darcy fic I wrote for another Milliways player during the original MCU craze. Loki is robbed of his magic and a) stays blue b) can't understand a word c) hides in the lab.

Am I The Asshole For...? -- Jin Guangyao describes the 3zun dynamic in an AITA formatted ask piece. Modern AU or not, depending on how you look at it.

Blue Monsters -- sequel to 'All English'. Loki hates the movie 'Avatar'.

A Matter of Priorities -- the original fic in my expanding City AU for several C-dramas. After years of being friends with benefits with Ye Baiyi, Rong Changqing gets his shit together.

Merely a Cat -- Jin Guangyao is reincarnated as Lan Xichen's cat. 5 + 1 things, canonverse.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I feel so flattered.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Never Held Him -- Ye Baiyi reminisces about the death of Rong Changqing. Canonverse, hard interpretation.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A Polycule With Many Pointy Corners -- because at the end, Shulin is alive, Peizhi still loves him, and he gets to keep the baby. Part of my City AU.

Do you get hate on fics?

I did -- on both the AITA fic and 'Merely a Cat'. That was the time of the Xiyao Troll, who was so nasty and persistent they actually put some people off writing for the fandom altogether. I got the troll on the AITA fic, then realised it was a Known Problem, and then wrote the Jiggy!cat fic to pull aggro and take part in a fic exchange the fandom organised in order to drive the troll to distraction. I wrote Eternal Sunshine of a Drunken Lan for that exchange, and received a lovely, lovely visual take on my 3zun AITA concept.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I am going light on it in "Detoxify" so far, but sometimes, the plot needs it. Also, I tend to think that the characters deserve to bone. I very much thought that Ye Baiyi deserves to get all the sex from Rong Changqing, which is why "A Matter of Priorities" is very E-rated even though the sex as such is not the point.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes, totally. The City AU, with lots of C-Drama characters all in the same modern AU and involved in each other's lives, is my main series now with more than 120K words.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Always my current blorbos!

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

The World of the Morning After -- Ye Baiyi is isekai'd into a world where everything went well, he is with Rong Changqing, and they're both immortal. He immediately decides that it's too good to be truth and he won't have anything of it in order not to get hurt even worse. I posted two chapters, mostly wrote the third, and ran out of steam. Luckily, I have a complete and detailed outline in which I re-shuffle the entire plot of SHL/TYK to hinge on Ye Baiyi's happy ending. Spoiler: he's there to make sure WenZhou get together in that branch of reality, too.

What are your writing strengths?

Nasty surprises.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Consistency; I tend to go off on tangents.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I write everything in another language; English isn't my first language. That said, the special turn of phrase of saying "Our/your A-Fei/HuaHua/Xiaobao" that gets the trio by the feels every time somebody uses it in "Detoxify" makes a lot more sense in Chinese.

First fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek

Favorite fic you've written?

Not choosing!

Tagging @eleanorfenyxwrites @atthelamppost @dangerouscommiesubversive (no pressure)

If you're a fic writer, feel free to give it a go even if you're not tagged!!

[adornesibley]

NAME GOES HERE: a Newsletter

Reading: Old Gods of Appalachia TTRPG by Monte Cook Games, Starter Villain by John Scalzi, The Secrets We Keep by Shirley Patton

Finished Reading: Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, The Future by Naomi Alderman

Podcast: Unwell

Playing: God Hand (PS2(on PS3(Thank God Hand for PS2 Classics)))

Making: Zines and Doom Levels

Writing: Project E

Word Count: 168317

TLDR: EfanGamez needs food help badly! CHEAP TTRPG BUNDLE! Working on working titles. The, frankly, crowded writing scene and AI intruders. ADHD and unfinished proj… Wingspan is so cute and so fun~ We’re Here because We’re Here because… Mekborg and Steel Psalm want YOU!

An indie TTRPG designer needs help badly! EfanGamez has put all of their paid TTRPGs and supplements together into a tidy little bundle and is currently offering it for $25USD on their itch.io page! This sale is on for another 19 days as of the posting of this newsletter and I HIGHLY encourage anyone interested in trying out TTRPGs that are out of the norm to take advantage of this deal. Grim and Mourn are two first-person-shooter-inspired TTRPGs that I can recommend in particular.

I have been working on Project E, the working title, of which she’s had many. Just recently, I decided it was necessary to completely rewrite every bit of dialogue for the main villain, allowing him a more gradual, consistent descent into madness. It’s going well, and progress is happening. I want to touch on something in the first sentence of this paragraph. It’s FASCINATING to me how some stories get their names with minimal teeth-pulling. Hell, I’ve had stories who received their names BEFORE I wrote a word of them. But Project E has gone through so many iterations of names that I’ve sort of decided to keep this working title until I’m done and maybe even after Beta Readers have had their turn. I know the name will come when it’s meant to. Part of my problem is the book is about a very specific theme, its plot has some consistent elements, and its setting is vivid… but to wrap up enough of these separate elements together in a title is proving… troublesome.

Trying to get your work out into the world as an author (in ways where people will actually see it that is) is SO freakin difficult. The market is saturated now more than ever. We, as writers, not only have to “contend” with our fellow writers but now with AI as there is an influx of AI-generated content being submitted to journals and magazines around the world. I am glad I am not in the publishing industry right now. But, nevertheless, I have submitted to two anthologies this past month. One bigger name bi-monthly and one niche market which was INSANELY fun to write. Hopefully, something will come of them. But if not, what do you do? We, as writers, continue on. We heed the call in our hearts and minds, we sling that ink and continue forward, one lie at a time.

Speaking of which, I have so many unfinished works XD I tend to post about something I’m working on then distraction occurs and all of a sudden it has been a month and I have totally forgotten about the project I had been working on. I have no doubt picked up something new or something old and once-forgotten. ADHD brains often feel like a quagmire, hard to pull thoughts through, sometimes you lose them altogether to the deep dark, sometimes they resurface, grimy and forgotten… what was I talking about again?

Last month, my little TTRPG group didn’t meet as several folks were unavailable… so instead we got the remaining few of us together and I got to play Wingspan for the first time! What a blast~ It was certainly complicated starting off but the rules become pretty easy to grasp after about two rounds of play. After that, when you’re about one round from the end is when it becomes clear how you’re supposed to plan for the ending if you’re intent on winning. Or of course, you could just enjoy all the beautiful birds, the weird facts, and the wonderful time shared with your friends.

I am a long-term Nerdfighter. 2012 era. If you are unsure of what this means, I’ll briefly explain. John and Hank Green are two authors/ YouTubers /philanthropists/ podcasters/ educators/ nerds/ TBFighters (I could go on… these guys are PROLIFIC) and they have been vlogging since 2007 and around that vlog (originally meant to bring them closer as brothers which I think is/was/whatever a resounding success) has grown a community called Nerdfighteria, among many other things. They have recently started a “good news” newsletter called We’re Here. “A nice little email for people from Earth.” I highly recommend signing up. These humans have continued to make the world less sucky by their presence and their actions. It’s beautiful how these massively powerful, famous, and influential creators are using their network to support folks in their extended community and using their community and influence to make so much good change in the world. Please go check out We’re Here and Vlogbrothers.

Speaking of community and supporting one another, DMDave is starting a Kickstarter for two books! Mekborg, which seems to be Warhammer 40k grimdark meets Battletech, is/was/whatever designed by John K Webb who has a LOT of design credits for the magazines Broadsword and Sidequest. As well, there’s Steel Psalm, designed by Dave himself, which from the name I’d presume is the same setting, but using wargaming rules similar to Forbidden Psalm (Also big recommendation). The Kickstarter is launching April 16th and the best part? When it’s done, the digital copies will go out immediately and by June or July the books will be shipped out (depending on how long printing takes) as the books are already finished! I’ll fully admit DMDave probably doesn’t “need” help to get the project funded, but the more support there is, the more likely projects like this will be created in the future!

Support weird. Support indie.

[longitudinalwaveme]

Flash Video Game Concept: Wally West Edition-“Rogue War”

At long last, here is the Wally West game proposal that I promised in the Barry Allen game proposal post!

  Important Disclaimer: I am not a video game designer or regular video game player and my knowledge of the mechanics of game play is thus fairly limited. This is more of a plot proposal for a video game than anything else. While I will be selecting bosses and creating hypothetical side missions, there won’t be any detailed descriptions of how the playable characters will work. That being said, should someone with a broader understanding of video game mechanics wish to offer suggestions, I will gladly add their ideas to the proposal.

And now...onto the plot!

The main playable character for the game will be an adult Wally West (the third Flash), though Jay Garrick, Jesse Quick, and Bart Allen will be playable in side and/or bonus missions that are separate from the main game.  The game will be set in Keystone City. Linda Park and Hartley Rathaway (the now-reformed Pied Piper) will be major supporting characters; Fred Chyre and Jared Morillo will be Wally’s main support in the KCPD police department. Barry Allen can be either alive or dead, but for the purposes of the game (and because he was the star of the last game), he won’t be active as the Flash here. Jai and Irey West, Wally’s twins, will also be in the game, but they won’t be major players in the story due to how young they are and to how dangerous the current situation is…though that won’t stop them from attempting to slip away from their parents to fight supervillains at least once. There will actually be two sets of antagonists in this game: the Rogues (lead by Captain Cold and consisting of him, Sam Scudder, James Jesse, Heat Wave, and Captain Boomerang, plus the dubiously-trustworthy Top and Golden Glider, who want to lead the group themselves but have no interest in teaming up with Blacksmith in order to do so) and the “New Rogues” (lead by Blacksmith and consisting of her, Axel Walker, Evan McCulloch, Murmur, Girder, and Double Down, plus the Weather Wizard, who’s left Cold’s team). These two teams are responsible for the titular “Rogue War” as they fight over Central City; Wally will have to put a stop to the war before it destroys the city.

The game would open with narration from Wally that explains who he is, his relationship with Linda and his children, and how he became the main Flash. This narration will be full of Wally’s characteristic snark and will lead into a cutscene where Wally is shown watching baseball with Linda (and the twins). He’s bored out of his mind, and as such, he is overjoyed when the game is interrupted by a news report that announces that KCPD headquarters is under attack by the Trickster. The cutscene ends with Wally rushing to the scene…unaware that his daughter is following him. After this, there will be a tutorial/intro level with Axel Walker as the boss. This fight will allow the player to become accustomed to the controls and to Wally’s fighting style; as such, it will be less difficult than subsequent levels (justified in story terms by the fact that Axel is a kid). After the player wears down Axel’s health bar to a certain point, Irey will appear on the scene in an attempt to help her father. Her appearance distracts Wally and allows a crowing Axel to get away…but not before throwing one of his t-bombs into the evidence room at the KCPD. The player, as Wally, will have to use a very high level of super speed and precision in order to rescue Irey and a few police scientists from the explosion.

After this, the story will shift to a cutscene at the Wests’ house, where Wally and Linda are scolding Irey for putting herself in danger (while Jai unhelpfully comments about how his sister is in trouble). Irey runs to her room in tears and Wally follows her. He tells her that he understands that she just wanted to help him, and assures her that he still loves her. While he reiterates the fact that crime fighting can potentially be very dangerous and that she’ll need to wait until she’s a little older before she can become his sidekick, he then cheers her up by telling her a story of a time that he screwed up as Kid Flash. Irey promises that she’ll stay out of trouble from now on, and the two of them hug. After the cutscene ends, the player will be allowed to spend some time investigating the West house and the open-world environment of the twin cities; with the option of speaking with neighbors, flirting with Linda, playing with the twins, stopping petty crimes, carrying people’s groceries, painting fences, and generally doing all of the typical Flash things. The game will not progress until a certain number of goals have been met. This section exists to familiarize the player with the game’s map and to give them more practice in controlling whatever super-speed mechanics that the game will end up utilizing.

The game would then transition to another cutscene. Captain Cold, Captain Boomerang, Weather Wizard, Heat Wave, the Trickster (James Jesse), Golden Glider, the Top, and Mirror Master (Sam Scudder) are all in one of their dilapidated hideouts. Heat Wave, Cold, Mirror Master, and Boomerang are playing cards; James is watching TV; Lisa and Roscoe are kissing in the corner; Weather Wizard is reading Twain but seems to be on edge. After a bit of introductory chatter, a news broadcast comes over the TV, announcing that the Trickster has escaped from his attack on police headquarters. James, who hasn’t been anywhere near police headquarters for over two months, is initially confused, and then becomes outright livid when he sees footage of Axel causing mayhem at police headquarters. “That’s my bag of tricks that punk’s using!” Cold is more concerned with how Axel managed to get ahold of James’ gear. James is usually pretty good at protecting his equipment; no teenager could have gotten ahold of it without help. Before the conversation can continue further, there’s a knock on the door. Len opens the door to find Blacksmith and her team (importantly, Evan is not with them). She proposes that the Rogues ally themselves with her group, whereupon she will lead them to greater heights than they could ever have imagined. Spotting Axel in the group, James is furious and is the first to reject the offer, followed shortly by Cold, who tells Blacksmith in no uncertain terms that he leads the Rogues and that he’s not interested in working with them. He’s heard about her and is sure she’ll only lead them into trouble they don’t need. A fight immediately (and unsurprisingly) breaks out. The player will be allowed to control Sam Scudder (the first Mirror Master) during the ensuing fight. The Rogues, who were caught off-guard and without most of their weapons and costumes, are at a severe disadvantage (though Sam and James have a few of their gadgets, Cold has one of his cold guns, and Roscoe obviously has his innate powers). The fight won’t last for too long (primarily due to the fact that Sam’s controls would differ from the Flash’s and we need to have the time controlling him be relatively short); being put to a very decisive end when Weather Wizard switches sides and manages to zap Roscoe into unconsciousness with a lightning bolt. Cold demands to know what Mark is doing; his question is answered when the Weather Wizard goes over to Blacksmith and the two of them kiss. Blacksmith explains that she has promised to help Weather Wizard become a more capable and competent wielder of the weather wand. All that she requested from him in exchange for this power were some of his teammates’ excess technology. Mark somewhat awkwardly attempts to persuade the other Rogues that Blacksmith’s offer is a good one and that the two of them are in love, but none of them are particularly interested in what he has to say. Sam, sensing that they have to escape and regroup, opens up a mirror portal and yells for the other Rogues to go through it. Cold manages to create an ice wall to cover their escape and all of the Rogues (except Weather Wizard) flee into the Mirror Realm, with Captain Boomerang carrying an unconscious Roscoe as though he’s a sack of potatoes. Unfortunately, before they manage to complete the journey to one of their other safehouses, a second Mirror Master appears (the player will still be controlling Sam at this point). At first, Sam assumes that the second Mirror Master is a mirror duplicate of himself, but that notion is put to the lie when the new Mirror Master starts talking. “Howzitgoan?” Sam demands to know who—or what–the newcomer is, at which point he cheerfully introduces himself as Evan McCulloch, a Scottish mercenary/hitman. He explains that he’s been hired by Blacksmith and that he has orders to ensure that Rogues will be neutralized as a threat—“one way o’ the other”. Sam quickly finds and opens up his emergency escape route—the one he uses when threatened by mirror monsters and other inhabitants of the Mirror Realm—and tells the other Rogues to escape while he deals with “this impostor”. Cold hesitates, arguing that there’s strength in numbers and that they don’t really know what Evan’s capable of, but Sam insists that he won’t have any problems defeating the Scotsman. After all, how could Evan possibly be more skilled with the Mirror Technology than the man who invented it? Cold reluctantly concedes the point and gets the rest of the team out of the Mirror Realm. The player will then control Sam for a brief fight with Evan—a fight that will demonstrate Evan’s almost supernatural capabilities within the Mirror Realm. Everything that Sam is able to do in the Barry Allen game, Evan can do better, and Sam is totally unprepared for his opponent to be able to be more dangerous in the Mirror Realm than he is. Neither the player nor Sam will be able to get more than a few hits in, and, after a certain amount of time, the game will automatically transition to a cutscene, where an injured Sam will go flying out of a mirror and land in a heap in front of the other Rogues. He’s followed by Evan, who steals Sam’s remaining mirror gadgets before disappearing back into the Mirror Realm. “Ta!”  Sam has a broken arm, a bad concussion (obvious from his slurred speech and poor balance), and a few broken ribs, but, being Sam, the injury he’s most concerned about is a nasty cut across his face. When he gets a proper look at his reflection, he all but goes into hysterics. Scudder’s as vain as a peacock, and he’s horrified by what’s happened to his once-handsome face. Lisa is equally upset about the unconscious Roscoe, and Cold is livid. No one messes with his team. “This means war!”

After this cutscene ends, the game will pick up a few days later. Wally and Linda are at the Jay Garrick Park with the twins and are discussing how weird it is that there’s apparently a new Trickster on the scene when Hartley arrives. After exchanging pleasantries (and getting tackle-hugged by an overly-enthusiastic Jai and Irey), Hartley tells Wally and Linda that he’s done some digging and managed to identify the new Trickster as Axel Walker, a teenaged troublemaker who dropped out of high school a few months ago. He says that, since extensive experience with James has taught him that all of James’ tech is heavily guarded by sneezing powder, yo-yos of doom, weaponized rubber chickens, and exploding whoopie cushions, in addition to a complex security system, he is sure that Axel had help from someone with a lot of power and connections to get ahold of the technology—which in turn suggests that the new Trickster is on the payroll of someone who could potentially be very dangerous indeed. Wally asks Hartley if it’s possible that the Rogues gave Axel the tech, but Hartley tells him that it’s not very likely. The Rogues haven’t recruited anyone since the Golden Glider (six years ago), and James would never let another Rogue use his name and weapons. The conversation is interrupted by several alarms going off, and Wally has to rush off in response.

Wally follows the alarms to Central City’s First National Bank, which Double Down and Girder are attempting to rob. The player will have to fight both of them at once while also protecting civilian hostages and the police from any collateral damage. Girder has super strength and can throw a wide variety of objects at the Flash. His punches cause a lot of damage if they land, and his health bar takes half again as long to deplete when compared to other bosses. Double Down has a greater range with his razor-sharp cards, and he’s more agile than Girder, but he’s much less durable. Once Wally manages to defeat them, he snarks about how they should obviously just give up this whole crime thing, since they’re clearly not very good at it—only for both of them to suddenly disappear through a nearby reflective surface. “Blacksmith sends her regards, sucker!” Needless to say, Wally is perplexed. Girder and Double Down aren’t Rogues, so why would Mirror Master help them to escape? And who’s “Blacksmith”?

The player will next get to control Hartley as he and Linda attempt to uncover evidence as to who Blacksmith is. This section will somewhat resemble the CSI segments from the Barry Allen game. Their search takes them throughout much of Keystone, but the evidence eventually leads them to an upscale penthouse owned by one Amunet Black, an important mover and shaker in the Twin Cities’ financial circles. Hartley comments that, when he was a Rogue, he had heard rumors that the criminal network in Central City was run in part through a prominent corporation; Amunet’s company fits the bill nicely. However, before they can do too much digging in the apartment, Murmur appears and attacks them both. Hartley goes for his flute, but Murmur is close enough to him that he’s able to inject Hartley with a syringe before he can actually use his weapon. Hartley yells for Linda to escape. “Not without you!” “I’m contagious! You have to leave me here! Murmur—it’s his Frenzy Virus!” Linda still doesn’t want to leave, but Hartley insists that he can’t leave the building or he’ll risk infecting the whole city. Linda flees as Murmur pulls out a serrated knife and starts to give chase. Hartley manages to use his flute to freeze Murmur in place and Linda leaves the penthouse. With Murmur’s threat temporarily neutralized, Hartley continues his search for anything that might incriminate Amunet or hint at what her plans for the city might be. His search uncovers a trail of paperwork that leads to a Scottish hitman named Evan McCulloch. Hartley is about to photograph the evidence when the Mirror Master suddenly appears in the penthouse. Hartley naturally assumes that this is Sam, and,  while he does go on the defensive, he also believes that he has a surefire way of getting his former colleague to leave without a physical confrontation. He tells “Sam” that he’s been infected with the Frenzy Virus and that Sam should probably leave if he wants to stay alive. “I appreciate the concern, chief, but ye’ve got the wrong man.” Evan’s been immunized to the Frenzy Virus (a precaution on Blacksmith's part). He takes advantage of Hartley’s surprise to destroy Hartley’s camera, incinerates the paper trail with a laser beam, and tells Hartley that the Flash had better stay out of Blacksmith's affairs if he knows what’s good for him. Then he disappears, taking Murmur’s frozen form with him.

Hartley is able to put two and two together and figure out that the Mirror Master with the Scottish accent is probably the Scottish hitman that was hired by Amunet Black, but before he can continue his investigation (he’s already dying—what worse can be done to him?), the effects of the virus begin to kick in (something that would be reflected in the player’s ability to control the character). He sees Wally arrive on the scene just before he slips into unconsciousness.

After a cutscene showing a worried Wally and Linda standing by Hartley’s hospital bed (this happens a day or so later in story terms and Hartley is obviously quite ill), Wally speeds off to find Jay, who tells the younger Flash that, since the Frenzy Virus stems from Murmur’s own mutated blood, he might be able to create an antidote for Hartley’s condition if he can get a sample of that blood. Wally races across the city and eventually finds Murmur in a building that he recognizes as one of the Rogues’ old safehouses—alongside Girder and Double Down, who are thoroughly destroying the place. A fight predictably breaks out, made more complicated by the fact that Murmur is wielding one of Captain Cold’s guns. Murmur isn’t nearly as talented with the gun as Cold himself would be, but it still presents an added complication for Wally as he attempts to defeat the villains and to keep the battle relatively contained.  Once the player manages to best the villains, Wally will whisk them away to a room without any reflective surfaces in the hopes that this will stymy any mirror escapes. He also manages to get a sample of Murmur’s blood. He calls the police to have them hopefully arrest the trio of criminals before rushing off to Jay’s lab. Jay manages to create an antidote with it in record time (super speed is helpful for more than just combat!). He immunizes Wally with it and Wally zips to the hospital, where he immunizes everyone in the building and also manages to save Hartley’s life. Hartley even regains consciousness, though he’s clearly in no condition to go back into the field. He tells Wally that there’s a new Mirror Master, a Scottish guy named Evan McCulloch, and that he’s on Blacksmith's payroll. Then he passes out again.

Linda and Wally then return home to their twins (relieving Joan Garrick of baby-sitting duty), only for Wally to get a call from Officer Jared Morillo. “Flash? The metahumans you said you defeated appear to have escaped.” An exhausted Wally apologizes to Linda and the kids for having to rush off again before returning to the place where he left the defeated villains. Sure enough, when he arrives, the only sign of the supervillains is a note that reads “Eyeballs are reflective, too! Better luck next time, Flasher!” Morillo and Chyre are puzzled. Sam Scudder always needed an actual mirror to pull off his stunts. Wally informs them of Evan’s existence but admits that that only muddies the waters further. Evan McCulloch hasn’t had access to Scudder’s technology for that long. How could he possibly be using it to pull off feats that Scudder himself can’t? Having reached an apparent dead end, the trio depart in frustration, with Chyre noting that he’s off to visit his old partner, Julie Jackam, and her son Josh, who’s about two years old.

This would dovetail into the next level, which would take place a few days later in story terms. Wally and Linda would be dropping the twins off at school when a news broadcast would report that the Weather Wizard is whipping up a massive storm downtown. Wally promptly dashes off and engages the Weather Wizard in a fight, only to be repeatedly caught off-guard by the villain’s unusual display of competency in the use of the Weather Wand. The mechanics of the battle would effectively be a more difficult version of those used in the Weather Wizard’s boss fight in the Barry Allen game.

Weather Wizard is full of bravado and is boasting about how Blacksmith has provided him with a way to become even more powerful than he is now. Eventually, he creates a tornado and vanishes from the scene while Wally desperately tries to stop the tornado before anyone gets hurt. Once he puts an end to the threat of the tornado, Wally zips off to find the Weather Wizard and catches up with him just as the Weather Wizard rips Josh out of Julie’s arms. Wally demands to know what the Weather Wizard is doing, and Mark replies by telling him that Josh is his son. “After all, he has my eyes.” Josh’s eyes are sparking with electricity, and the Weather Wizard explains that the boy is a metahuman with natural weather-controlling powers. He wants that power for himself…and all he has to do is bring the boy to Blacksmith to be opened up. Julie is in an absolute panic and pulls her gun on the Weather Wizard, telling him that Josh is her son and that Weather Wizard can have him over her dead body. The Weather Wizard laughs her off and is about to depart when he gets a good look at his son. “He does have my eyes….my brother’s eyes.” The storm that’s been raging throughout the city dies down, and Weather Wizard actually lands. He seems to be a bit dazed; staring at his son as though he’s seen a ghost. He doesn’t even react when Julie snatches Josh out of his arms. However, when Fred Chyre moves to arrest him, Wally is blinded by a violent flash of light. By the time Wally’s vision clears, Weather Wizard has disappeared. A frustrated Wally decides to pay a visit to Captain Cold in the hopes of figuring out why the Rogues are working alongside Blacksmith.

Wally finds Captain Cold sitting in a bar with the Golden Glider, nursing a beer. The two of them react to his arrival by launching into action and Wally will have to face both of them in a boss fight. The two siblings compliment one another very well and watch one another’s backs closely. Golden Glider has aerial attacks; slicing and kicking the Flash from above. She also has a lot of weaponized tops and her own weaponized gems that she can use; Captain Cold can lay down traps and slow the Flash’s speed to a comparative crawl. However, Wally eventually manages to defeat them and demands to know why the Rogues are working with Blacksmith. Captain Cold replies by telling Wally that he isn’t in league with Blacksmith and explains that Weather Wizard betrayed the Rogues when he sided with her. He tells Wally that the Rogues are going to defeat Blacksmith personally. “No one steals my turf and hurts my people!” He tells Wally that he should stay out of his way—and to underscore this point, he manages to distract the Flash long enough to freeze him in place and flee with the Golden Glider. Wally escapes the ice and decides that he needs to go home and regroup before he can continue his campaign against the two opposing groups of Rogues. He’s really run himself ragged today!

The scene would then shift to the original Rogues, who are hiding out in the back of Paul Gambi’s tailor shop and generally bemoaning their bad luck. Although the Top has regained consciousness, neither he nor Sam are back to full health, and Sam is in a bit of a sulk over the blows to his pride he received from Evan. Most of their hideouts have been systematically destroyed by Blacksmith’s gang, and they’re running very low on both money and technology. But Captain Cold is determined to come up with some plan to take everything he’s lost to Blacksmith back…with interest. The other Rogues, particularly Sam, are rather skeptical that there’s any way they can regain their old power…at least until James hits upon the idea of calling in the Rainbow Raider to induce some fracturing into the other group. This meets with approval from the rest of the group, and James promptly calls up the Rainbow Raider to request that he help them out. The Rainbow Raider is overjoyed by the prospect of finally being respected in the underworld and eagerly agrees.

The player would then control Linda for more detective work as she returns to Amunet’s apartment in the hopes of finding more evidence to tie the businesswoman to the recent chaos in the city. She finds rather more than she bargains for when she accidentally stumbles upon a meeting of the whole gang sans Girder and Murmur (all in civilian clothes as to reduce suspicion). Murmur is off doing his own thing; the exact details of which will be revealed in a side mission. The player will have to ensure that Linda doesn’t give herself away during this sequence. She manages to stay hidden as she listens to Blacksmith haranguing the Weather Wizard for not having brought his son to her. Weather Wizard protests; arguing that she’s taught him to be powerful enough already. They don’t need Josh! Blacksmith vehemently disagrees. She calls Weather Wizard a moron for ignoring his chance at obtaining innate powers; Weather Wizard responds by questioning Blacksmith’s love for him. He was under the impression that she wanted him to become powerful to improve himself…but now it’s starting to sound as though she’s more interested in him being her weapon. Blacksmith dismisses his claims by telling him to shut up and then orders Evan McCulloch to find Josh and bring him to her—but Evan refuses. “You didnae say anything about hurting a woman and her wean when ye hired me!” Blacksmith is decidedly displeased by her hired gun’s sudden and inconvenient display of a conscience and reminds him of his million-dollar paycheck. Evan stands his ground and refuses again. “What sort of hitman are you?” Evan laughs and disappears into the Mirror Realm. “Call me when ye have a real job for me.”

As Linda carefully undercovers documentation in the shadows, Double Down furiously demands to know why Evan’s paycheck is so much bigger than his, which prompts Axel to demand why he isn’t getting paid at all. As the argument increases in volume and eventually escalates into physical violence, Linda finishes gathering up the necessary evidence and prepares herself for departure…only to run directly into Rainbow Raider, who has been using his emotional-manipulation powers in order to create tensions between the members of Blacksmith’s group since before Linda even arrived. The two of them glare at each other but decide to depart without a confrontation in order to avoid being discovered. As soon as they get out of the penthouse, Rainbow Raider zips off on a rainbow and Linda is picked up by Wally. The couple return to their home at Flash-speed and Linda shows Wally all of the evidence she was able to gather while Blacksmith’s group was arguing amongst itself. Wally congratulates his wife enthusiastically for her accomplishments and says that, with any luck, her discoveries will enable him to get Blacksmith off the street before Captain Cold can launch a counter-assault against her. The two of them then enjoy a celebratory dinner with the kids (during which Wally eats as much food as the player can get him to consume in a two-minute time limit).

Unfortunately for Wally, the wheels of justice turn slowly enough that Captain Cold’s Rogues are able to issue a challenge to Blacksmith’s Rogues. Wally doesn’t find out about this until the fight has already begun and the news begins to report on the damage that’s being caused. Desperate to contain the damage, he rushes to the scene and is faced with what will be by far his biggest challenge of the game: fighting both groups of Rogues at once, while also protecting innocent bystanders and keeping collateral damage to a minimum. (Note that the Rainbow Raider is present and fighting alongside Captain Cold’s team; Sam Scudder and the Top are absent since they’re still too injured to fight.) The player’s most important goal is to protect the civilians; defeating the Rogues is a secondary objective. During the course of the fight, Weather Wizard will defect back to the Rogues and put Girder out of the fight entirely by fusing him to a nearby car via a lighting strike. In a brief pause in the action, he apologizes to Captain Cold and receives a fist to the face for his troubles. Cold doesn’t actually knock him unconscious, though—-Weather Wizard is too valuable an ally to lose. A bit later in the battle, Evan McCulloch turns on Blacksmith as well when he sees Captain Cold go out of his way to herd the battle away from a group of civilians that includes several small children. (The player, as Wally, evacuates them all to safety not long after.) He rather handily defeats Double Down and offers his allegiance to Captain Cold, who accepts with a degree of bemusement. Evan’s defection then prompts a similar defection from Axel (who can read the room and wants to be on the winning team). Blacksmith is predictably furious, and, aware that she’s about to lose, uses her metal-controlling ability in an attempt to collapse a building on everyone. Wally has to use his speed to evacuate anyone in the two blocks surrounding the building before the building can collapse (cue hyper-speed Flash time). Blacksmith makes one last attempt on an exhausted Wally, but she’s stopped by the civilians whom Wally rescued, who gang up on her and manage to knock her unconscious. Thoroughly exhausted from their war and not particularly willing to fight an army of furious civilians, Captain Cold has Evan transport all of the Rogues away from the scene. Blacksmith, Double Down, Girder, and Murmur are left behind and are taken into police custody.

Wally rebuilds the neighborhood that was destroyed during the fighting and promises that he’ll bring in the rest of the Rogues the second they show their faces again. He gets ice cream for all of the children in the area before returning home to Linda, the twins, and Hartley (who’s just been released from the hospital) for a relaxing baseball game and a well-deserved nap.

[courtney-deserved-better]

Hello, TD fanfic anon here! I just wanted some general competiton and ship fic advice

hi td fic anon i am so sorry it took me this long to respond 😭 but anyways here's my advice (under the cut bc it got long)

competition advice:

it really helps to plan out your elimination order before you jump into writing. you don't have to have every elimination planned but ones that are plot significant/necessary should have timing/a solid reason for elimination to make sense within the story. but don't be afraid to deviate from your plan or improvise! i was originally gonna eliminate courtney in the china chapter of slippery slopes and decided as i was writing it to finally deviate from the canon elimination order and boot duncan instead. and that totally changed the story for the better! i think the biggest thing to watch out for is having a character get eliminated with very flimsy reasoning. the reasons don't have to be dramatic, they can literally be "yeah everyone thought this one team member was annoying so bye", but as long as they're believable it helps strengthen the logic/structure of your story.

speaking of logic/structure, it's a good idea to have a concept of the tone you want to take when it comes to the competition. this is especially important for total drama fics, because there's a lot of frankly fucked up shit happening in canon that's played off for laughs or not fully delved into. and maybe you want the sharks and deadly challenges to be silly or brushed off while you explore the character dynamics/relationships as serious. or maybe you want the challenges to be scary and dark and threatening to the characters. or maybe everything, including the character relationships, is slapstick! the key is consistency. consistency doesn't mean there can't be tone shifts—maybe you start off the fic with the challenges being seen as goofy, but then as they keep going, the characters experience more and more danger and become traumatized by these challenges now seen as horrific. or maybe it's the opposite, the challenges start off as scary but over time the contestants get used to them and they fade into the background. the one thing that puts me off in fics is where the challenges are regarded as commonplace until one event needs to be emotionally heavy for the sake of plot and then that challenge is portrayed as Extremely Dangerous And Traumatizing when it hasn’t been any different than the rest of the challenges. not sure if that makes sense so i’ll just reiterate that consistency and confidence of tone is important.

when it comes to the content of the challenges: if you’re doing a rewrite and anyone who’s reading your fic has most likely seen the challenge and episode it’s based upon, err on the side of less detail. if you’re writing about the obstacle course from all stars, we don’t need an explanation on how every obstacle works if it’s not relevant to what your main character(s) is experiencing in the moment. on the flip side, if you’re making up a new challenge, be specific in how it works since it will be new to people and they will be imagining it without a reference point in canon. also, don’t be afraid to not explain things if it’s not super relevant to the main character. if a minor character beats your main character to the finish line, but your character was too focused on a conversation with another main character to care about competing, you don’t necessarily have to talk about the minor character running ahead of your character throughout the whole conversation/challenge. you can just write something like “when [main character] finally crossed the finish line, there was [minor character] panting and looking rather smug with themself” and leave it at that. if it’s not super relative to the main character’s pov, and isn’t necessarily a funny bit or enriching detail, you don’t have to write more than a single sentence about it, especially if it distracts from the main pov. it’s something that can get tricky with total drama’s ensemble cast, so you have to find the right balance for yourself.

ship advice:

when it comes to the (main) couples you’re writing about, it’s good to keep the arc you want their relationship to take throughout the fic in mind while writing, possibly tying it to specific plot points in your planning if you’re the type of person who likes to get meticulous (like myself lol). if you’re writing friends to lovers, explore their friendship and platonic dynamic before one character realizes they’re in love with the other, it gives the readers a sense of how these characters care for one another and work well together, and gives more stakes to the classic “if i tell them how i feel it’ll ruin our friendship” dilemma. if it’s enemies to lovers, explore why they dislike one another and how they push one another’s buttons and the transition from hating someone to having feelings for them. while the names for these tropes are simple, the content within the trope doesn’t have to be boiled down. using slippery slopes as an example again, alenoah in that fits into the “enemies/rivals to lovers” box. but what makes their dynamic compelling is how within their rivalry they had moments of friendship and attraction. heck, they were getting along really well in chapter 6 which made the inevitable blowup that deepens their rivalry that more impactful. so in a nutshell: have a clear idea of the arc but don’t be afraid to delve into or subvert/complicate the dynamic. the line from point a to point b doesn’t have to be a straight line.

i already talked about consistency when it comes to challenges but it’s important when it comes to ships too. if character a is mad at character b in chapter 3, but is suddenly fine with them with zero explanation in chapter 4, that’s jarring for the readers and diminishes the emotional impact of whatever happened to make character a mad in chapter 3. therefore diminishing emotional impact in future chapters if the readers know [important thing] that happened in chapter 8 could totally be glossed over when they get to chapter 9. don’t be afraid to take your time with the characters’ emotions and feelings toward one another, it doesn’t really read as natural for someone’s opinions toward another person to turn on a dime without something significant happening to cause that.

lastly, think about why these two characters work as a couple (or don’t work, if that’s the direction you want to take). what does character a admire about character b and vice versa? in what ways are they similar and in what ways are they different and how do those affect their relationship? what makes them a good couple? why are they attracted to one another? it’s harder to get invested in a fic that goes “character a and character b like each other” without elaborating on that than a fic that goes “character a likes character b because b brings stability and a soothing presence to a’s anxiety-inducing chaotic life and character b likes character a because a’s impulsivity pushes them out of their comfort zone and challenges them to be their best self when b is finding themself bored with their own life’s stasis”. this is obviously A Lot to work with if you’re writing a fluffy oneshot or something but if you’re working on a roughly season-long multichapter fic it’s good to really dive into what makes your main couple(s) click & tick.

not really related to ship or competition but: do NOT be afraid to write extremely niche stuff that you think only you have an interest in. it’s probably not gonna get written if you don’t write it, and if you do write it and put it out there, you might find other people who like that same niche stuff or didn’t like it before but like it after reading your fic. write what you wanna see!! don’t worry about who might read it, write for yourself. if you’re putting all the effort/work in to create a fic you deserve to be that fic’s number 1 fan.

i hope this was helpful, please keep in mind that i’m not trying to be a definitive authority on how to write well, i’m just “verbalizing” what helps me write fics i can be proud of and enjoy. again, im so sorry it took this long to respond! if you have any more questions feel free to send them in and i promise it won’t take me another month and half to get to them lol

[androgymagnus]

HI JUST WANTED TO ASK did u just watch glass onion because I watched it yesterday and can see ur reblogs AND WOULD LOVE TO HEAR UR THOUGHTS!!!!!!!

Also I want to draw a fake movie poster for it so bad. It deserved nicer posters w janelle monae covered in blood fr (the glass letter ones r sexy tho)

ALSO HELP I just connected the dots that Phillip is Blancs partner oh my god. Gay people r real

LKJDFLG YEAH I DID <33 i loved it it's very good

i love it when a movie like. totally turns everything on its head at the halfway point and recontextualizes everything that's already happened. lkie. yes please bend my mind into little circles

and just generally i liked the twists and turns and it was visually interesting and like, it actually held my attention the whole time. i was never on my phone or distracted i watched the whole damn thing without pausing nine thousand times. which is a big deal for me, adhd king. like that says a lot

and there were just soooo many good little details, both ones i noticed and ones that i saw later being pointed out. and like the ending is so satisfying, kind of like a good episode of classic leverage but with a cinematic budget, where everything clicks into place and the rich asshole gets his just desserts and like. the characters are all fun (the "disruptors" are all so fun to hate, including miles, helen/andi is amazing, benoit blanc continues to be an icon in so many ways--i know people have said it before but i too am not immune to "protagonist who is genuinely kind and compassionate and wants to help people, cares more about other people than about "winning", etc" + he's so funny and i love how he takes no shit but does the whole polite southern columbo routine + he's GAY!!! god i love him so much, he's such a good main character--this kind of whodunnit gentleman detective thing can really like. the protagonist can make or break it--columbo works because columbo is so charming and endearing, other shows fail because the detective may be alright but just not compelling, or they lean too much into the "asshole genius" trope, benoit never falls into that and the fact he's consistently caring and compassionate is just. chefs kiss) and the plot was fun, it was like, well-done enough i wasn't like "that makes no sense" and even guessed some things, but was like, also still surprising and fun,,,,

like it's just a good whodunnit with strong deeply likable protagonists (both benoit blanc as the gentleman sleuth, and helen as the sorta watson of the movie/true main character--god both of them did such a good job, they're so iconic) and a satisfying ending

and such good humor!!! miles covering his chest when they mention his "golden titties", benoit yelling about how dumb it all is, him revealing the whole fake mystery immediately and getting tossed an ipad, THE ICONIC SCENE AT THE BEGINNING WITH THE PUZZLE BOXES I FUCKING CACKLED WHEN SHE SMASHED IT, etc

also dlkfgj help yeah when i first watched it i legit didn't make that connection either and then later when people were like "oh his boyfriend/husband/partner!!!" i was like oh yeah!!! yeah that tracks!!! like i'd heard he was gay but i'm fucking stupid and somehow just did NOT make that connection at all

anyway im not saying it was perfect, i'm sure it had flaws, but i really enjoyed it and i'm definitely going to force my mom to watch it when she gets home from her christmas holiday trip

would love to see these posters 👀 feel free to tag me if you post them

[anonnie-in-wonderland]

when i say that I enjoyed “Home Calls the Heart” so much trust that i do not lie!!! i typically don’t like to compare people bc everyone has a different journey to writing and creating stories on here , but man the way you write using tropes like hybrid and poly bts, which can easily become horribly written (in my opinion) is something out of this world. I feel like people typically either explain the world surrounding hybrids too much or too little to truly understand how their dynamics work throughout the story. But the way you write makes it seem right. I understand enough to the point where it doesn’t distract me from the main plot! I also love the way you write poly!bts <3 again im trying not to sound too harsh because everyone works hard for their art, but the way you write ot7xreader seems so genuine and not too cartoonish if that makes sense. i have a hard time trying to find some good poly!bts fics bc i luv them so much but sometimes it hurts my head. i mean i could imagine how hard it could be to incorporate seven character that have different traits and their own spirit, but, again, the way you have written them in “Home Calls the Heart” has me excited for new chapters to come!! Im trying my best to give feedback and appreciation towards my fav authors on here because i know how hard it is to express your art and not be financially compensated jiji you guys literally deserve the world!!! it’s also fun just being able to tell my favorite people that they are doing amazing at what they do best :) i hope this ask finds you well and yeah <3 i’ve also decided to give myself a lil nickname if that’s okay (pls do let me know if that’s okay) i would like for it to be the 🌙 emoji!! if someone else has it pls lmk so i could change it jiji-🌙

Hello, hello! Wow this was not something I was ever expecting to receive, but I am really humbled. I thank you for being into my writing. I’ve been writing a very long time but not for any kpop fandoms, and I was nervous about how it would be received.

I think different writing styles appeal to different people, but at the same time I know what you mean! It can be very difficult to find the right balance of how much information to use, and you don’t really want to confuse yourself or the reader, but at the same time you want to include more than barebones info.

I’m glad my approach to worldbuilding currently is not too hard to follow along with. That’s the key. Because at the end of the day I saw the prompt and wanted to tell a nice tale of the reader and hybrid BTS all healing from their friendship (and eventually more) with each other. As to the relationships…OT&s are popular and I knew right away I wouldn’t be leaving anyone out cause that’s not my style, but I did have to decide whether there would be shipping among OT7 or not, and you know I feel like when you’ve been around the people you love a long time, things would be casual. Casual intimacy.

I think some stories maybe do a lot of “hey!! Look!! They’re dating!!” And write them accordingly, and I suppose that’s fine, but I guess I try to write them as people in love who have nothing to prove. They just are comfortable in a relationship together and the Y/N gets to be a part of it.

Thank you for wanting to be someone that tells fanfic writers how much they’re appreciated. 🥹 That is so kind! I admit, I kind of miss the consistency of the feedback on my writing I’ve gotten in the past. Like beyond people just asking to be on the taglist or saying they’re excited to read more, I really use to love engaging with people on tumblr about my writing, but haven’t gotten a whole lot of that so far. So sometimes I wonder if I come off too intimidating. 😭 Because I see other writers chatting with readers about their stories and I’d love to do the same if anyone wants to. I appreciate any and everyone who takes the time to leave comments or ask questions though!

And of course you can go by that emoji if you choose to! It would help me keep track of who I’m talking to in the future and no one else is using it, so I don’t see why not. Thanks for your ask!

[ekebolou]

Academy Days: Day Two, Evening

This is for those of you who love bureaucracy. Originally it had a lot of architecture in it, too, but I had to cut it because 8,000 words is really too much, even for me. What I'm saying is, this may be a bit boring, but we do leave our boys' perspective behind for a bit, so that's a nice break.

If I were writing this to be in a book, I would definitely have to cut stuff like this, but I'm not writing it for a book, I'm writing it for serial release. Maybe it'll get put into book format, but serial format means I can kinda go hog wild with what in TV would I guess be called 'filler' - it's not that it doesn't move the plot forward or do important things for character development and introduction, it's just that it doesn't do so in the most exciting or straightforward way. It may make it harder to get into as a novel, but frankly, I expect the Academy Days stories are harder to get into as a novel anyway - I'm not so sure how independent they are of the main Kostas storyline (which I've heard is still up in its entirety on Wattpad, which I've been meaning to delete, but maybe haven't because maybe you want to read it. No I'm not going through the psychological torture that would be reposting that on Tumblr, it'll be on the website eventually).

Anywho, I have lots of thoughts about narrative etc, but for the time being here's a chapter featuring a meeting, Corin being douche a being shut down, and the introduction of Quartermaster Ghent (and Horace, which if you remember Horace I am pretty impressed). I should probably start labeling these with what's in them more consistently, 'cause, you know, that might make people more interested in reading them.

The fire roared in the fireplace, the plates steamed on the sideboards, and the wine sparkled, red, gold, and yellow in the thick patterned glasses, yet you could not have purposefully assembled a duller crowd.

“It is a despicable kind of joke that mocks our very values…”

The Representative for the Palace leaned back in his chair and pressed a cherry to his lips, tempted to practice some kind of flirtatious stem-twisting maneuver for later, when he might attend a real party, with actual important people. But he didn’t want to give any of the dour Military men the wrong idea. And also, he was supposed to be representing the Palace (not accurately, but respectfully, so no flirtatious maneuvers of any kind).

At the Palace they probably would have pitted the cherry and removed the stem, anyway, which was a shame both because it ruined the cherry, whose deliciousness lay in the unbroken tension of its skin, and because it removed the opportunity for flirtatious maneuvers. But it probably also removed the chance for someone to choke to death on a pit, which he supposed might be good.

He reminded himself not to put his heels on the table, ate his cherry, and observed.

“…How can the other cadets be expected to perform at their best…”

This was the nicest of the meeting rooms, so it was a terrible shame it, like the pitted cherry, was being so abused. It really was too small for the crowd the opening meeting this year had garnered – or, rather, it wasn’t actually too small, but its usual comforts were waylaid by it being slightly too full.

The Gold Room at the Palace would have scoffed at calling many times more people a crowd, but these were (for the most part) Military officers, and high-ranked ones. It had long been below their dignity to be squeezing into barracks or classrooms. To have so many so close was like trying to pack porcupines in a box. They puffed to maintain their stately space from one another.

“…much less receive adequate training, when so distracted…”

Yet, they stayed, crowded. In fact, a few more filtered in sending a little rippling squoosh through all the bubbles of personal dignity, and adding a fresh spritz of resentment to the air. The poor little room! Could they have changed venues? Yes, but this, the traditional space, was the easiest to find, the most comfortable (when properly attended meetings were held), and had the second-quickest service. And, of course, the Council was not going to change its traditions for the sake of the comfort of guests.

To the Council anyone not preoccupied with the day-to-day running of the Academy counted as guests, whether they had merely the unexercised right to attend (as many of this evening’s attendees did), or were supposed to have been attending all along (as a slightly smaller number of attendees), or were the actual public (technically, he supposed, the guests who were guests that were also military officers who made up most of the rest of the crowd, because no citizen of the Capitol deigned to give the Academy too much serious attention, lest it begin to believe itself important).

Thus, the air of resentment.

“The ollamh were not even consulted! What strange customs and beliefs…”

Sweet Peace, if only there could be dancing. Was there even a space for dancing at the Academy? (Logically, there had to be – all the little cadets showed up to their graduation relatively skilled, if stiff, dancers, at least of the traditional forms). It was, at this moment, hard to imagine.

The Representative of the Palace briefly entertained himself with memories of past graduation balls, and by the depth of his distraction was briefly saved from hearing the stentorian complaints of whatever ollamh it was holding forth.

“…might have been the case in the past, though I doubt the veracity of these claims and even IF true…”

By Modesty’s Shaded Nipples, everyone was being quite uncharacteristically polite.

Even and especially Quartermaster Ghent, who was the Representative’s only real hope.  He quite liked Ghent, not because he was particularly impressive, friendly, or sociable, but rather, he was so thrillingly uncouth he tended to move the meetings along with tremendous efficiency.

This admiration existed only from afar. Quartermaster Ghent, if he knew the Palace Representative existed as a person, as opposed to an office, would probably hate him more than he appeared to hate most of the population of the Academy. Likewise, if in any proximity to Quartermaster Ghent outside the Academy walls, the Representative could easily imagine himself hiding behind bushes or perhaps drowning in a pond to avoid being seen so accompanied.  But parliamentarian admiration from afar was fine.

Case in point, though: sometimes, when he thought something particularly stupid or useless was being discussed at too great a length, Quartermaster Ghent liked to suggest they should get bells and motley to put on the Academy Tower – he could really go on at great length about it, always with new details and suggestions, however long was needed to bully the other speaker into silence. But nobody liked to listen to Quartermaster Ghent, for precisely this reason: his suggestions tended to be in the ‘go fuck yourself’ direction.

Why he wasn’t doing so now was baffling.

“…can even be accounted for, much less matters of custom and hygiene…”

Bells and motley would at least give him something to look at, though. All the grey stone and dark wood and flickering torches and ceremony (but, like, the stiff and boring kind, not the necessary and beautiful kind, that you got dressed up for). What about a little flair? Colored fire? Some music? Surely the Academy Council could arrange something – surely they didn’t purposefully impose how boring these things were.  The King, who also hated the Capitol, at least let people throw parties down here.

Not that bells and motley would help, currently. They couldn’t see the Academy Tower from this dim basement (was it all basement? Maybe!). They were underground, at a crotch proximal to the Tower where several eras of building overlapped like pastry. Still the best room, as the windows of its neighboring rooms created a cross breeze to ventilate it, and the Tower kitchen was only a floor below and somewhere left (also, miraculously, ensconced in a basement – how everyone didn’t die of smoke or heat baffled him, when he thought about it, which he didn’t, at least not often).

“…furthermore the traditions of the Academy itself should be considered, its bricks laid down by Keadar-Ainjir himself…”

The Representative was thinking about how the crowd in the room should dim the ring of the ollamh’s voice, at least a little bit, but this brought on the terrifying thought that this was the ollamh’s voice ‘dimmed’, and his thoughts rapidly diverted.

It was hard to tell exactly when the meeting would start, but their hand wouldn’t be forced merely by being annoyed. Though a beautiful, heavy, long table stretched importantly across the head of the room before the fire, none of the Councilmembers sat until they absolutely had to, to avoid being overheated in the ambivalent cold of early spring.  Everyone else – sans orator – was trying to mill about sociably amongst the tables scattered around the floor, three or four chairs around each so decidedly inadequate in number for seating them all that hardly anybody sat in any of them. The only place with any current at all – again, an admirable marker of (very boring) Military manners – was around the many thin tables arranged at the edges of the room, generously laden with food or drinks as appropriate.

They might not change venues, but they were at least not so stupidly rigid as to under-prepare the kitchens for an overabundant crowd, which any fool could have predicted would attend. 

The Military didn’t do unprecedented, so it had been quite a long time since anything unprecedented happened. He just wished it hadn’t inspired pre-meeting oration, which might be his new most hated occurrence at a meeting.

But thank fuck, here was Ghent.

“Aren’t you hungry, Ollamh Corin? Thirsty? Winded? Bravery’s Brass Balls, that could stop your mouth for a moment, couldn’t it?”

The Representative restrained himself from cheering. Quartermaster Ghent, being on the council, was one of few of rank enough to stem the tide, and of those few was perhaps the only one who maintained a soldierly sense of when to tell someone to shut the fuck up. (To be fair, he only ever told people to shut the fuck up. That there might be other, more polite ways to handle things never seemed to occur to him).

Their orator particularly disturbed to be so addressed by a member of the Council. “I would think you of all people wouldn’t be soft on this issue–”

“Fucking Fate protect us from you thinking, Corin.” With this, the old Quartermaster heaved himself painfully out of his chair and wandered over to one of the sideboards, gravelly voice continuing in a not-at-all contained rumination, twin to the one he had so effectively stopped. 

“I know, why don’t we have a little meeting about, eh? Why don’t we get everyone together let’s say, within the first few days of the new classes arriving and just have ourselves a little group think, and once that starts, we’ll have a whole section of it devoted to listening the bleating of idiots, and then you can express your blighted opinion all you want, eh? How about let’s do that instead of listening to you patter like rain while we wait for the blasted meeting to start.”

The officer who had remained sitting at Ghent’s table – an unusual-looking fellow with more-than-sun-browned skin and white hair – cast a glance over his shoulder, perhaps to hide his smile more than watch Ghent shamble to the food.

Brave of him to sit with Ghent (he was beloved, just not often by anyone of rank).  This companion was one of many the representative from the Palace didn’t recognize, though some he could pick up through his study of descriptions of the relevant players in Military matters. It was an unusually stacked crowd, but again – unprecedented. 

Corin seemed like he was about to go on – Charity’s Twin Cheeks, how could he? – when they were saved by General Durante abruptly mounting the step up to the head table.

“As good a sign as any – shall we get started?” 

Tall and well-built, just past his middle age with only the finest of gray hair showing, Durante had the presence one expected from a military officer, and the politesse more befitting the court than these dank halls. At times he had seemed to know it, and he made a good show of himself in Palace events, but then he would recede, disassociate, find himself too busy for every invitation (and as an officer, it was surprising he received any).

Durante was really the Representative’s main concern – or, he had been told so. He just wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to do about it. The meetings were boring. Nothing of great import was ever discussed. It wasn’t like a social event. It was all quite unpromising, really, but that wasn’t for the representative to judge. The Palace had its connections to the Academy the way the Academy had its – neglected and somewhat atrophied in this day and age – connections to the Palace, and they begrudgingly fulfilled the duty of maintaining them.

At least the object of the Palace’s vague interest wasn’t Ghent.

Now, the Councilmembers who weren’t Ghent slowly made their way from tables of food or drink or old friends to their designated spots at the head table. Durante took the center seat, his back to the fire but face nonetheless alight thanks to well-mirrored crystal lamps spaced across the table. Ghent continued to get himself food and drink. The other Councilmembers didn’t seem to think it necessary to wait for him.

“Let the first meeting of the Academy Council for year 541 commence; please recognize Marerog, note-taker, and Saeloch, senior; Ghent, senior; Ichtoran, Fiodar, and Durante, serving, and…” his eyes moved over the room, “some fifty, guest, honored guest, and ollamh.”

Now, the Representative did not particularly like thinking about politics, or would not admit to liking it, but like tinder taking flame – he lit up.

With the exception of Ghent, whose service as Quartermaster required his constant presence, the other Councilmembers rotated. Members could depart, resign, or be called to the field, so a roster existed of ‘active’ and ‘inactive’ candidates for Council seats in perpetual rotation, with the exigencies of Academy business and requirement of odd number the determining factors of its composition. They usually served no less than a year, those bouts of five to eight were more common, and peaks and valleys in the intensity of their work determined who was on hand any given day. The opening meeting required a full bench – no polite notes accepted – so there were only five.

Five was a low number; the peak was something like fifteen. A normal year, with some unrest, would be more like seven or nine (three was the kind of minimum that revealed an emergency or perhaps plague). So some months ago, at the autumn recess, when the decisions had been made about who to bully into being responsible for being there, they had expected little disruption in the day-to-day business of the Academy.

So, in some sense, they had been surprised, too (though they had had months to ruminate on it. The Military did not just make adjustments. That was a kind of flighty, reflexive, responsiveness reserved for the unreliable Nobility or the Executive officers).

With the meeting commenced, Durante was now looking down at a pile of paper, threateningly thick. 

It would contain all of the bureaucratic detritus that piled up between the end of one academic ‘year’ and the start of the next: overviews of schedules, information on divisions of students, reports on supplies and personnel in the medical facilities, some few early requests for more material for classes, early reports of trouble on the grounds from delayed maintenance of buildings or gardens (always so many requests from the gardeners). The onrush of new cadets, the return of old, the re-engagement of staff and resumption of projects delayed acted like the weight of a step on a semi-rotted stair; there always seemed to be some cracking and breakage not noticed on the last trip up.

All of it needed to be addressed in order, or the Academy – nay, the nation – nay, the entire world, would fall into chaos.

“I open the floor to the ollamh.”

Ghent, who had seated himself back at his table instead of the head table, grunted a “thank fuck” nonetheless audible for the scrapes of shifting chairs and little gasps of surprise.  He heaved himself up – repast in hand – to laboriously make the trek up to his official seat.

“We cannot allow a Midraeic to continue as a cadet,” said ollamh Corin, not waiting to be called.

“You are formally recognized as speaker, Ollamh Corin,” Marerog said dryly, scratching it into his notes and titching the sand closer to his hand, prepared to combat the smears of fast writing.

“Complaint registered,” Durante intoned. His final say on admissions made him liable. “But what is its substance?”

“It’s ludicrous,” Corin spat.

“Elaborate,” Durante replied.

“This is ludicrous,” Corin said, looking around the room for support. “On the face of it. I cannot imagine it an oversight, as classes have begun and this Midraeic is among the cadets. So I must assume it was done on purpose.”

Ichtoran, whose duties included ranking and thus the class rosters, seemed annoyed more by the aspersion on his record-keeping than opposed to – or in favor of – Corin’s objections. “All of the appropriate steps were taken for enrollment. There is nothing in the regulations that would prevent enrollment.”

“I would not doubt General Ichtoran’s grasp of the regulations, but some reasoning must be provided to those of us perhaps less familiar with their intricacies,” Corin said, barely maintaining a polite tone over his seething. “There should be an explanation.”

“Would it not be unusual to explain admission of a cadet in compliance with regulations?” Durante inquired, much better at maintaining a neutral tone. Not that it mattered, because–

“Why not?” Saeloch asked, offering the requested explanation in a bored, raspy voice, looking down to pick a new morsel from his plate.

“The objections are obvious and numerous, and to go through the procedure for removing a cadet at this point could be harmful to the class formation, and reveals a shortsightedness–”

Ghent’s glower seemed to imply he would respond, but before he could Durante raised a hand to stop them both. “On what specific premise would admission be refused?”

“We refuse admission all the time,” Corin objected.

“On regulatory grounds,” Ichtoran replied coolly, apparently still smarting from having his punctiliousness slandered.

“Also on the grounds of the spirit of the institution,” Corin retorted.

“Can you provide any specific examples of such?” Durante said over Saeloch grumbling “‘Spirit’ my ass.”

(The Representative assumed Marerog did not record this addition, though he did flourish his paper into a new orientation to quickly continue his notes)

Corin balked, but only for a moment. “The second son of the Royal Family, who applied as second son but became Prince Cullan.”

“That happened more than a hundred years ago,” Fiodar said, almost reluctantly. “And was the Palace’s business.”

“The Council then applied its right of refusal on grounds of the purpose of the institution.”

“But the objection was raised and prosecuted by the royal family,” Fiodar said. “The Council’s ruling was a concession of the branches and not on internal regulatory grounds. It was a gift of the Military to the Nobility.”

“And how could such a similar ruling not apply in this case? Prosecuted by the people of Ainjir for the sake of the purpose of the institution?”

“Because that’s horseshit,” Ghent said, which Durante quickly followed with, “the people of Ainjir have no such voice in the doings of the Academy.”

This was actually quite tetchy, in a way that sent political-theory tingles up the Palace Representative’s spine. There COULD be something like a voice of the people IF the third branch were revived…

But, perhaps finally realizing there was some chance that the Council had already discussed the matter, Corin paused to reassess, glare sweeping from one side of the great table to the other.

Finally, he took a nice lungful of air and started back where he had begun before the meeting commenced, “It’s a stain on the honor of–”

Durante held up a hand. “Condense your objections only to the salient points and we will commence discussion only if the Council’s answers prove insufficient.”

Really, he should have realized then that he was dead in the water, but it appeared that Corin’s anger up to this point had been mostly rhetorical, put on for show.  This call for concision truly got to him – the Representative could tell as the little tips of his pressed-flat ears reddened. “I don’t see how that’s a reasonable request. The ollamh were not consulted, not even warned–”

“It is neither the habit nor a requirement of the Council to consult ollamh on decisions of admission before the Academy year begins.”

Lips pressed into a line, Corin re-engaged. “The differences of belief, custom, even basic behavior and moral–”

“Differ from region to region,” Saeloch interrupted this time, “from family to family, from station to station – braile-breith cadets and noble and east and west and plain and forest, farm and mine – if the cadet adapts to the Academy from any of these places of difference then there is no reason to expect that a Midraeic cannot do the same. If he fails to adapt he can leave, like the rest.”

“Have you not considered the level of disruption–”

“This is one cadet,” Saeloch said, as if having to bring it up tired him. “The Academy has run its business during war. This cannot be more disruption than the raids from Geron were, and cadets died in those.”

“The level of disruption,” Corin continued pointedly, “this may bring to the Academy’s reputation? That it may not be a ploy?”

He had struck gold! The Council’s hesitation proved that they had not considered this. But that was because it was so very stupid an idea.

After a brief glance at the rest of the members, Durant raised a flat hand to invite a response from the Palace Representative.

The Palace Representative stared dumbly, for he was surprised.

“The nomination was made by Baron Seolgaire. Speaking on behalf of the Nobility, does the Palace wish to address the nomination of a Midraeic cadet by Baron Seolgaire?”

“As you know, the Palace on principle takes no interest in who chooses to attend Academy and how Noble families might wish to handle their sponsorships. Those are adjudicated entirely individually, within the family, except on small matters of inheritance when certain conditions of conflict are met, which in this case doesn’t apply – one assumes.”

He didn’t want to suggest that Baron Seolgaire might somehow have an unknown Midraeic inheritor, but… well, it wasn’t likely, though it wasn’t UNlikely, either, but… that was… well, that was quite out of the Palace’s purview and really any of his business and nobody, including the Military itself, would want the Military involved.

Durante was still looking at him, though, so the Representative went on, pausing between each statement to see when he had said enough that he could stop. “Which Baron Seolgaire? There’s some dispute, over title inheritance, at the moment. There’s a pretender.”

This damaged Corin’s clever suggestion, if only because it was yet another indication that the Nobility were very silly people.

Durante had to consult his stack of paperwork, digging down several sheets, adjusting his distance from the paper to consult the right note. “Baron Raghailligh Seolgaire.”

“Oh, well,” the Representative shrugged, “that’s who I would back. Anyway, no.”

“No what?” Corin objected.

“No, I can’t possibly see what Baron Raghailligh Seolgaire would get out of this. Actually not the other one, either, but still. That Baron Seolgaire is known for being eccentric. Thus the title challenge. Might actually be a Seolgaire by blood, which would mean there’s been some… close marriages in his ancestry. Runs a fine estate but makes odd choices, so it’s in keeping. Quite harmless most of the time. Likes to wear furry knickers, puts butter on–”

“Enough,” Corin barked.

Since Durante was still looking at him – as was the rest of the Council – the representative shrugged again. “I would imagine not. No ploy that makes any sense, anyway. And, of course, it goes without saying the Palace disavows any knowledge of such a plot, so even if there was one, it would be up to him, and I don’t think he’s up to much of anything except filing lineage proofs and frightening the peasants with the occasional public eccentricity. Of which the Palace also avows no pre-emptive knowledge. Officially.”

“Are there any other objections to raise on this issue?” Durante said tiredly to the assembly. Then, particularly to Corin: “Consider what Councilmember Ichtoran has said. Proceed with the understanding the decision has been made.”

“What loyalty can we expect from a Midraeic to Ainjir?” said a man with a severe face, square-jawed and narrow-eyed – an ollamh, sitting amongst the others. “The point of this education is to raise officers who will then give their oath to defend the nation. The Oath would be meaningless to a Midraeic.”

Corin nodded, as did a few others in the room. Even the other Council members turned to Durante.

Though it was evidently his answer to give, Durante instead turned to Ghent. “Quartermaster, your experience might suggest a better answer. What say you to this objection?”

Startled at having been called upon, Ghent started to answer, only for Durante to cut him off: “Please refrain from casting aspersions on the meaning of the Oath or other unrelated objections to the premise. A cadet is at issue.”

Ghent resettled himself, spending a moment looking out into the room without necessarily seeing it. His face maintained the same disgruntled expression that had settled on it upon first walking into the room. Corin seemed to be about to interject when he finally rumbled out a response.

“There is no difference. If this boy has chosen the path, then he’ll walk it, or not. The decision was made when he walked through the gates in the first place, same as the rest of them.”

“The weakness of superstition–” Corin began.

“Will get him kicked out. Or it won’t. He would hardly be the first superstitious cadet, and certainly not the last. Believers have come through the gates before, open and, more likely, many clandestine. It has never been raised as an objection to the Oath, which relies only on the personal valor of the cadet, their individual worthiness and participation in our society. To go through the Academy is to participate more fully than many a person outside the Midraeic people in Ainjir. If he lasts to the end, he may swear as truly as any other.”

“To disrupt the learning of the other cadets–” Corin began, but Ghent had no more interest in letting him finish than he had all evening.

“Many might be less worthy. Many a superstitious person has sworn the Oath, and many more a stupid person has done the same, and it’s the stupid ones that worry me more. I didn’t see you objecting then. Probably because–”

“That will do. Thank you, Quartermaster” Durante interjected. “The matter is settled. The Midraeic cadet has been admitted and will perform or fail as any other cadets performs or fails. Shall we proceed?”

Ghent stayed up at the table for the duration of the open-floor part of the meeting, but there was – perhaps surprisingly, perhaps not – little to bring in that was not already on the agenda at some other point. So the Palace’s Representative soon watched Ghent stump away from the table, back presumably to one more comfortable, with very little to add to what the Representative had thought was going to be the most exciting portion of the evening.

But alas again, all the interest of this particular evening had been spent, and now there was nothing to look forward to, except whether the discussion of the medical budget would lead to fisticuffs between the practitioners of rival healing arts. Which, frankly, appointment of the latest head, a woman who almost certain had ties to the Families and clandestine religious beliefs, had put quite a damper on. Though exciting in that she added to overall political drama of the Academy, she seemed to frown on the practitioners spending their first few weeks healing themselves, and thus doomed the meeting. So there wasn’t even that to look forward to.

**

Despite Durante’s radical reordering of the agenda, the meeting still stretched into the wee hours of the night. This was why Ghent advocated for holding all such meetings in the stables, where they would all be as sore and aching from sitting on dirty floors and railings as he got from the ‘comfortable’ chairs indoors, and would all come out stinking of shit literally instead of just figuratively. It would take some walking to work out the stiffness in his joints and twists in his muscles, but his rooms were some ways away of walking, so it worked out.

Ghent stumped through the halls with his broad rolling gait; his companion walked beside him with long, slow strides.

“Thank you for inviting me,” he said.

Ghent grunted. “What shit. You were conveniently around to be invited. Awfully conveniently. I hope you got what you came for – there’s nobody that would thank anyone for being put through that shit.”

“Well, it was interesting.”

“It absolutely was not.”

“I was interested.”

“Aiming for my job?” Ghent glanced up at him through narrowed eyes, but it was a show. He grunted again. “You can have it. Who wants it? Too much grief. Fucking gardeners wanting every cursed plant. Then they want to dig it up and put in every other cursed plant. These bloody meetings. Cadets.”

“Surely no one could hope to do your job as well as you.”

“Horseshit,” Ghent grumbled. “Any idiot could do my job.”

They ambled together in silence for a few paces.

Ghent seemed finally to lose his patience; though every bit as gruff, his outburst was quiet. “What do you want, Horace?”

Rather than responding, Horace turned his face to the sky, appreciating the stars.

“Oh, fuck you,” Ghent said, but in his way, meaning it was a kind of compliment.

“Well, if I just asked, would you do it?” Horace was smiling, as he often smiled with friends, whose company, though they might be yelling to wake Ainjir’s dead gods, make him happy.

What this meant was that Ghent was going to have to figure it out. Because of course he wouldn’t do it if he was just asked. At least, if he hadn’t already thought of doing it himself. So Horace must think he has an unusual request. This could be any of a thousand things, given the wide range of duties of the Academy Quartermaster, whose power really was second only to Durante’s, if he chose to exercise it (Ghent did not, but then, they had chosen Ghent at least partially because he could not leverage power through personal connections, his being quite so sparse). Ghent had other strengths.

But that wasn’t why Horace was asking; Horace was asking because he was Ghent, and was asking because he was Horace. Because he was Horace, there was an obvious connection to make, well outside Ghent’s usual wheelhouse.

“What do you think I can do for him?”

Horace smiled, as if for the thousandth time as for the first, dazzled by his companion’s brilliance (that he did this in a way that didn’t seem patronizing was one of his exceedingly unique gifts – when he was patronizing, you sure did notice, though).

“That’s a bit of the puzzle, isn’t it?” Horace asked, looking down at the grass as he kicked his feet through it. “I don’t even really know why I’m asking.”

“Beyond the obvious?” Ghent said.

Horace had been nodding along as soon as he had started to speak. “There’s not some conspiracy, you know. I wasn’t even raised in the faith, as you’re aware. I wish I could offer some kind of unique perspective to tell you what you might look out for, but really, I think the reason I thought of it, and the reason I thought of you–”

“–Other than my amazing puissance–”

“–Other than your amazing puissance, is because it seems so mightily unfair.”

“It’s not a fair place,” Ghent said, but as a pat response, not an objection.

“Neither was the border,” Horace replied. “At the border, at least, we all had a sense that we were there to make it fair.”

“‘We all’, my ass,” Ghent said, anger heating his voice. “It was setting bones getting all you grubs to think anything. All you had was hot blood and wet loins.”

“To be fair, many of us only hoped for wet loins,” Horace replied thoughtfully, to Ghent’s conceding nod. “Yet some sergeant seemed driven by death itself to get us to think of something else.”

“Well, there was hope for you, yet,” Ghent said. “You weren’t officers.”

Horace didn’t have to say anything about their officers. They walked in silence for a few long, slow paces.

“We talked to the Fourth Year class. Reminded them that if they had any pretensions of having reached their station through merit, the role of merit was theirs to maintain. I think they picked it up.”

“We?”

“Durante and I.”

Horace grunted, a surprisingly Ghent-like noise. “Well, I wonder if anything should be done beyond that.”

“The Fourth Years can’t be everywhere,” Ghent said. He had clasped his hands behind his back, slowed their walk to give them time to resolve the conversation.

“They’ll be busy,” Horace said.

“Very,” Ghent agreed. “At the same time, I’m not sure what I can do.”

“Keep an eye out, maybe?” Horace said, turning to look sidelong, smile on his face. “As you once did for another young soldier forced into your company?”

Ghent grunted disdainfully. “You didn’t need my eye out. You had them all running.”

“Maybe,” Horace said. “But maybe it mattered that somebody didn’t run, too.”

“And wasn’t thin as the last piss squeezed from a pencil dick.”

“Oh, some of them turned out alright.”

“Once they had it beaten out of them.” This time Ghent’s grunt was a little raspy, more from phlegm than sentimentality, probably, but raspy all the same. “If they lived.”

“If they lived,” Horace agreed. “It wouldn’t hurt to give this one a fighting chance at living, you think?”

Ghent spat, whatever had been building up in his lungs excised by pleasant conversation. “If he turns out not to be a limpdick snot stone.”

Horace nodded and smiled. “If he turns out to be a limpdick snot stone. But frankly, if he’s made it this far and hasn’t realized he’s thrown himself to the wolves, I would be very surprised. Takes a bit more than a limpdick snot stone to keep at it after that. Surely there’s at least some stubbornness there. Stubbornness can be admired. Or at least keep him alive until he’s worth being admired for something else.”

“How dare you,” Ghent said flatly. “There’s nothing else worth being admired for.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Horace replied, grinning. “I’ve heard people quite like sociability, also one of your foremost traits.”

“You just want my liquor.”

“Not true! I also want your recommendation for the best House to visit.”

“Virtue’s Tits, man,” Ghent grumbled, “make sure you’ve got your own wrapper.”

“For the liquor, or…?”

“Come in, you reprobate, and keep your dick away from my liquor, wrapped or no.”

“Ah,” Horace said, as Ghent laboriously unfastened the antique lock to the tiny outer court of his quarters, “to visit old friends is to know joy, even if you aren’t allowed to put your dick in their liquor, isn’t it?”

“Fuck off,” Ghent said, by which he meant, yes.

[pb-dot]

Film Friday: Hardcore Henry

In general, I'm fond of movies with a bit of thought behind them. It doesn't have to be high art based on deep philosophy, but generally a thematic idea or concept discussed through the medium of film is a good start. I generally also expect movies to happen from the perspective of some nondiegetic observer, but today's movie rasies the question of "hey what if we said bollocks to all of that and made a FPS Game movie?" Honestly, that's very bold of them.

Henry's day is off to a rough start as he wakes up with more robot parts than human parts, only to discover that his freshly augmented body has made him wanted in the worst way. Generic evil science man with magnetic powers, Akan, wants him for use in his super soldier program, and a conglomerate of identical individuals named Jimmy also has their design on him.

Henry, rendered mute by being interrupted before his voice program could be installed, finds himself living through a 2010-era first-person shooter, with lengthy sequences devoted to length parkour chases, very scripted-seeming stealth, turret shooting on rails, and of course, gratuitous nudity. A somewhat rarer partial song-and-dance number also occurs at one point, but I'm of the opinion that the shooters of the era should also feature those.

It's all very silly. There is a theme of sorts about memory and identity going on here, but it feels like an afterthought. This may be intentional, considering how Henry's enough of a blank slate that the plot has nothing to gain traction to, and it's the kind of unforced error that a shooter of the era may have made.

Now, I am cutting the movie a bit of slack here, because it is very fun in a very stupid way. Sharlto Coperley is having a lot of fun bouncing around in the various ludicrous avatars of Jimmy, although I would argue perhaps not enough to excuse the unfortunately very era-appropriate No Homo-jokes.

There is however no denying that it's in the action that the main appeal lies. The action scenes are often chaotic, but uses that chaos wisely, mostly to disguise cuts and give the movie's budget a helping hand by distracting from occasionally dodgy CGI and compositing. It feels like damning with faint praise, but Hardcore Henry has really perfected the look of the mid-budget game, and as a mid-budget action movie, that is honestly pretty cool, it's not an easy style to emulate.

There's, I would argue, no small amount of art in achieving that look and sense of internal consistency. Of course Akan turns up semi-randomly to beat you up some and you never get around to striking back. It's a cutscene and he has metal-manipulating powers to rob you of agency. Of course Akan folds like a cheap chair once you actually fight him, boss battles in shooters were often just uninspired quicktime-events in those days. Of course we're in Russia, in addition to being a cheaper location to shoot, it's the easiest way to ensure none of the people we murder are red-bIooded Americans, which was considered a bit faux-pas to shoot at in games of the era. I could go on, but many of the aesthetic or logic flaws in this movie fit in like that. Not all of them of course, but I'm mostly trying to stick with the positives here.

Hardcore Henry is a dumb movie, but it's dumb in a decently entertaining way. People not fond of gratuitous violence or (perhaps intentionally) bad plots need not apply, but if it's your bag, it's a very decent bag

[millennialdemon]

More thoughts on episode 1 of 18if

First of all, why didn't anyone tell me nearly every episode has a different director?

And moreover, that each one puts their own spin on the visuals, to the point that numerous episodes look like they are from a completely different anime?

That is so based... I love anthologies...

It makes me kind of excited to keep watching it, even with the gripes I have! Speaking of the gripes, a re-review (I did first see premiere this when it aired in 2017) of episode 1 in 2022:

The sound design, in particular the overuse of the too-quiet soundtrack, is really quite bad and very distracting for it. The most egregious example in this premiere occurs when the Witch of Thunder decides to lop off Haruto's arm with a sword when he dismisses her threats because "It's all a dream anyway". In this scene you would expect the whimsical light jazz music that had been playing throughout the conversation to stop dead, signalling: "Oh, this isn't a fun and whimsical scenario anymore, and this witch can hurt me and wants to kill me."

But no, the music doesn't even pause, nor does it change tone or volume at all. It flattens the scene and its aimlessness makes it awkward to watch, as if it is a mistake. I would even say the music should have at least changed before violence even occurred -- when the Witch of Thunder starts to get angry at Haruto earlier in the conversation, it feels noticeably off that nothing in the sound design shifts at all. I don't know what the intention was -- if perhaps it was meant to emulate a dream-like floatiness like many of the visual elements this episode? -- but all the droning consistency of the soundtrack ends up doing is remove all tension from the scenes it is used in.

And I'm not even a sound design girly, so if I'm noticing it, it must be pretty bad!

But back to the dream-like floatiness of the visual elements -- I can see there was a genuine attempt to do some interesting things with a dream setting, direction-wise. Lots of strange shot compositions and split-screens are used and they are admittedly pretty stylish, though I wouldn't say they do much to convey the setting beyond just being a bit abstract. Rather, the feeling of being in a dream is better captured by the almost constantly moving camera. It slowly spins around the characters during conversations, moves back and fourth in space, and changes angles on a whim, often in lieu of just using a cut to get to what looks like a new shot. It must have taken a lot of effort to animate so many of these scenes, and I suppose the actual drawings were sacrificed to accomplish it.

(However, I happily prefer this option -- simpler designs rendered a bit poorly for the sake of animating more difficult shots -- to the over-designed, wildly over-produced, and literally nausea-inducing scenes from the recent works of studio GoHands.)

But despite the efforts put into emulating a dream-like quality, the premiere of 18if never quite hits the mark and only ever really manages to feel a bit stilted and awkward. Which isn't the worst thing I suppose -- at least to me, the person who enjoyed the BangDream anime for its awkwardness.

So the most damning element to me of this premiere is one I have written about years ago -- the main plot. Kind of a big one. Kind of unavoidable as I continue this series. TL;DR: It's not great to watch a boy save girls from their own overwhelming emotions, either by talking them off of the edge with some common sense, or outright concluding their stories for them when they are too compromised to do it themselves.

Though I have only seen 2 episodes (the 2nd of which I liked so much that I literally still think about it 5 years after having seen it!), and so I am willing to hold out hope that maybe there will be a few break-out episodes where this isn't the case, and Haruto's presence will be incidental in the awakening of some of the witches. So despite my reservations about the main concept of the anime thus far, I am still interested in seeing what happens in future episodes, particularly now that I am getting into ones by other directors!

[thetimelordbatgirl]

For a show that chose Amphibians as a major plot element because such animals represented change very well, it feels like most of the Amphibian cast is honestly fairly flat and stagnant. They all feel pretty 2-D and puppets of the plot, while the girls stand out because their development is actually consistent, builds off of who they are, and overall just feels more real; They feel more like real characters while 99% of the Amphibians feel like puppets of the plot who don’t actually think and make decisions, because we need a lesson of the day story!

It’s telling that the fandom is totally apathetic to the Plantars; They’re just not interesting. And part of the reason for that is they’re just largely stagnant... They don’t really change or develop save Polly, but that’s in the second half of the show tbh. They’re totally disconnected from the plot when they don’t need to be (remember when Hop Pop was set up as a revolutionary at the end of S1 only for that to be dropped?), so they just feel like bystanders who distract. Mother of Olms could’ve been an episode about the lore and prophecy, but no I guess we need her to be amnesiac and waste time on a useless gross-out adventure so Hop Pop can feel better about his arthritis that sprang up out of nowhere, despite not being an issue a few minutes ago in the previous episode.

The Plantars just feel arbitrary and superfluous for the most part; Any ‘flaws’ they’re given have no buildup and are introduced at the start of the episode to be resolved at the end, and then those lessons never come up again, assuming they aren’t repeated for some reason. They’re honestly stagnant and HP and Polly feel like the only ones who changed... But even HP became a useless flanderized idiot in Season 3. The Plantars are supposed to be Anne’s emotional support yet they pressure her to take them back home out of nowhere with zero guilt???

I think the show believes that more screen time exposure to the Plantars will automatically make us like them more, but that’s not necessarily how it works. The show has all this runtime but it never does anything meaningful with it, so most of the Plantars’ screentime feels redundant and even makes us RESENT them for wasting time, instead! It feels like the show is just fulfilling an arbitrary quota by giving them something to do because they’re main characters, instead of properly fleshing them out and giving them actual arcs that are both personal and connected to the plot, they just don’t contribute beyond ‘emotional support’ I guess. The herons were shoehorned into the finale for the sake of giving the Plantars something to do... It all feels forced and not at all natural.

The fact that they literally did the Hop-Pop getting old not once but twice in S3B....like....we get it: he's getting old and getting mad people don't have as much interest in gardening as he does. How about we actually see that damn revolutionist we were foreshadowed back in S1 already? And I just....look at how they dumbed Sprig down, I swear. Like, this show really telling us he'd be so stupid that he'd potentially fuck up a mission just because he and Ivy got told they can't work together for this mission??? And....yeah, no, you right about Polly. She really the only one that developed in the end and I am somewhat concerned the baby character is the one that developed more then her brother and grandfather.

Like, if they had just done SOMETHING with the Planter's, their screen time wouldn't be so annoying. But because it was either generic plots or plots that made them annoying. Like, Spider Sprig or Sprig and Ivy could have been something, but they won't, and they literally wasted an episode on Hop-Pop in Hollywood, let alone how they handled the three as a unit in S3A as a whole. Like, again, S1-2? Perfection. But dear lord, S3 was a mess for everyone.

[bookofmirth]

why Illyria still matters

Hi, tis I, your friendly meta hoe trying to get us to take off our shipping goggles.

This post gave me a lot of thoughts about the Illyrians, so thank you anon and others who contributed! I have to admit that I didn’t have those thoughts before because I had been looking at everything from a shipping perspective. I am here to talk about the Illyrians and why their story remains important, from a logistical plot perspective, but also from a cultural standpoint, irrespective of whatever ships happen.

Many of our main characters are Illyrian or partly Illyrian. Rhys, Cassian, Azriel, and Emerie. We also know of Balthazar. Why would we assume they would ignore a major part of their heritage? It’s always part of them. They don’t cease to be Illyrian just because they aren’t in Illyria.

Illyrians are the only “lesser” fae race that plays a major, consistent role in the story, as a counter to the High Fae.

Ramiel is sacred; it is the third mountain left that has not been explored, after the Prison and the mountain in the Middle where Amarantha held court (thanks @xnightwolfx). We still have a fourth Dread Trove object to find. Ramiel?

The Blood Rite, a sacred, incredibly important part of Illyrian macho culture, was not only infiltrated and won by women, but it was also rigged. Essentially the major cultural touchstone of the Illyrians was desecrated, in their eyes. There will be repercussions.

The characterization of the Illyrians is a major eyesore on the Night Court, and frankly on Sarah. They have been described as brutish, misogynistic, etc. Leaving that culture as-is, and having it be the main non-white culture in the books... I think you see where I am going. Whether she does it intentionally or not, Sarah needs to resolve this whole racist mess she has created, and to do so from the inside: IE using characters who come from that culture.

While Cassian seems able to work with the Illyrians, Azriel still has some major unresolved trauma regarding his upbringing. No matter how ships end up, he needs to reconcile that trauma so that he can move on with a healthy-ish life.

Briallyn infiltrated the Blood Rite, on Koschei’s behalf. This ties in to point 4, but also leads to bigger implications - why was she able to get Illyrians to help her betray the Rite? There is still discontent. We now have a connection between the Illyrians and Koschei.

Illyrian discontent would be a good way for Koschei to expose a Night Court weakness. It could be as simple as a distraction to make Rhys & Co. look away from Koschei for a minute, or Koschei could go so far as to manipulate or exploit their discontent, getting them to ally with him. 

The Illyrians are warriors. Cassian mentioned that some of the previous Blood Rite winners had died in the war that occurred during acowar. There is little to no reason why their cooperation wouldn’t be needed to go against Koschei. However, their cooperation is going to be hard won at this point.

I’m still personally hung up on the idea of combining Illyrian and Valkyrie techniques, and how Nesta’s statement had some sort of fate/world-altering effect that we don’t understand yet.

Anything else to add? Feel free! 

[relatable-pictures-of-orko]

WHY LESSONS EXEMPLIFIES EVERYTHING WRONG WITH 200X

It’s sad, because it was my favourite episode as a kid. It was the only He-Man episode I had saved on my computer from age 12 to 19, when I finally rewatched it and fell back into the motu fandom. However, each time I watch it, I find another thing that holds it back. And now that I am slowly rewatching the show, I find these flaws are inherent to it as a whole, and plague the show.

EXHIBIT A: INABILITY TO FOLLOW THROUGH ON ESTABLISHED PLOT POINTS

In Lessons, the main plot is kicked off after Orko preforms a Classic Screwup and destroys billions of dollars worth of statues. Crucially shown is Duncan’s role in the disaster: Instead of thinking logically to try and find a way to safely get the levitating statue down, he simply grabs Orko’s arm to cancel the spell and is surprised when the statue falls and breaks.

And from here, we could get into a whole discussion on whether it makes this Duncan’s fault, or we could argue that it was still Orko’s fault for acting without permission in the first place, or then argue that it’s in fact Duncan’s fault after all for this or that or-

Regardless, it doesn’t really matter who’s fault it is.

What matters is that Duncan and Orko literally never interact again for the rest of the episode after this scene.

The episode establishes a conflict between two characters, and then fails to even acknowledge said conflict for the rest of the storyline. 

EXHIBIT B: A FUNDAMENTAL MISUNDERSTANDING OF THE ORIGINAL SHOW AND CHARACTER DYNAMICS

In most aspects, the episode follows a standard Orko Runaway Plot: Orko is sad and wants to leave, and characters convince him to stay. However, how this diverges from the Filmation show is the reason Orko is given to stay.

In Filmation, the Sorceress shows him his worth as a person. She shows the others looking for him, missing him, that there would be a significant impact if he was gone. Furthermore, it is made clear that it does not matter whether he is good at magic or not: He is family to the other characters, and they’ll love him regardless of any percieved use to the group. 

Lessons, meanwhile, takes a different approach. Orko is instead shown flashbacks of his past, to exposition to the audience his backstory. Among this is the main argument as to why he should stay: He cheered up the king when he was sad. 

So the lesson is this: It doesn’t matter if Orko is good at magic or not. As long as people can laugh at his failure, he has worth. 

The episode tries to backpedal on this in it’s moral segment, where Orko claims that your friends will like you even if you make mistakes. But that still does nothing to prove that “Who you are” is more than just the jester that makes you laugh. 

And in the episode itself, no one even notices Orko’s gone. It was pure chance that Skeletor just happened to target Grayskull while Orko was there. It almost seems like they were going out of their way to make it feel like no one truly cared about him. The only evidence we see against that is Adam being motivated to raise himself from an injury and fight again after being told that Orko was in danger. But that’s not something you really notice unless you pay attention to it, and it’s outweighed by everything else. 

EXHIBIT C: NOT LETTING CHARACTERS OTHER THAN HE MAN SAVE THE DAY

Uh oh! He-Man has been taken out of commission! Now only Orko can save the day! What will he do?

.... 

As it turns out, his actions consist soley of providing a brief distraction and then getting knocked out. 

But luckily, He-Man is conveniently back now! Good thing He-Man is always here to save the day!

...Huh? What did you say about Orko having a character arc?

So first off, it’s made very clear that Orko being written out of the climax is incredibly forced; Orko is dropped literally two feet and it somehow knocks him out for several minutes. Despite having shrugged off worse injuries before and after this, being very lightly tossed in this scenario is somehow just too much for his little body to handle and he simply must sit the rest of this fight out. 

Secondly, it’s ALSO incredibly obvious that the writers were mandated to include He-Man saving the day in every. single. episode. 

Now, it’s understandable. If you think about it, Filmation most likely had the same thing. But the reason it wasn’t quite so obvious in Filmation was because the writing was better at keeping He-Man distanced enough from the other character arcs enough so that the others still had a chance to shine. Take Dawn of Dragoon for example. Even though He-Man defeated Dragoon, Orko was still the one to revive Dree Elle and the others. Even though He-Man did a fight against a bad guy and won, Orko still fulfilled his character arc of the episode without much interference besides a brief pep talk.

However, 200X struggles to accomplish this same subtle workaround. Oftentimes, it’ll have He-Man either do Too Much, making the other characters feel like they aren’t contributing enough, or Finish the Job, making it feel like he did more purely on association that he did the last notable thing in the climax. 

Lessons is no different. Orko contributes nothing to the final battle of the episode. Even though the Sorceress claims that Orko is needed to fight against Skeletor and co, the average audience member simply does not get that impression because Orko contributed so little to that plot. 

I’m pretty sure the only one who has it worse off than Orko in this regard is Teela, considering how many times she had to be saved in the episodes specifically dedicated to showing how competent she could be. However, this happens to several other characters as well, like Buzz Off, Mekaneck, etc.  

I could go into a whole other rant about that, but this is an Orko blog so I’ll save you the off topic rambling. 

Anyways yeah this show is a mess