#I am caring and compassionate and constantly doing my best for my friends

[deadguywalkin]

seb+sam+alex hcs because i am STILL gay and extremely evil + some pre t seb hcs because… sigh

( sam+alex centric!! aside from the last part )

cw: dramatic switch from ‘yeah alex and sam are traumatized’ to ‘sam likes boobs’. that pretty much sums this up. (minimal nsfw and most of it is jokey)

jewelry:

alex: minimal. no rings or bracelets because they get in the way. ‘does sam’s pick count? c’mon, i’m an edgy boy too!!’

sam: medium. face piercings and some rings

sebastian: not actually that much, but he only wears silver. gothic necklaces of dragons on swords, silver rings, and the likes. maybe even a blood vial.

hands:

alex: missing his whole index finger?? big big hands with some little scars. engulfs whoever’s hand he’s holding.

sam: calloused fingers, tiny scars from hurting himself a lot on accident. he has very shaky hands. also has his little memory bands

sebastian: thin fingers and careful, steady hands. chipped black nail polish. there is more of a reddish tint on his knuckles.

—————

sebastian carries bandaids on him because sam is an idiot and alex is also an idiot (they’re not idiots they just have 0 spatial awareness)

alex wears sam’s guitar pick as a necklace. i refuse to draw him without it

alex carries their band equipment when sam whines about being too lazy to do it

seb never gets scared during horror movies or any horror experiences. however samalex are gripping onto each other like they’re about to die

alex cannot bear to watch super violent graphic stuff for obvious reasons. sambastian will always skip those parts ahead in movies for him because they already know. not that he can’t do it himself, but it’s just a small gesture.

alex is a huge ‘i’m sorry, did i do something wrong? I’m really sorry. you can tell me if i did.’ kind of guy when the vibes are off. he just has a fear of being useless or annoying and needs to be reassured.

sam needs to be reassured that he doesn’t have to always take care of everyone or constantly be the emotional support beacon. he also needs some support and to take a break!!

sam just has his best friends memorized by heart. ‘you were gonna ask abbie to hang out..? bro, don’t you know? she’s gonna have a headache tomorrow.’

sam has a habit of biting at his lips, ‘my mouth gets bored!

samalex are insanely emotionally intelligent, compassionate and understanding even if they’re not all there. they’re more tender and sweet when it comes to someone opening up and just know exactly what to say and what they need to hear.

on sebs end, he’s pretty bad at reading people and understanding everyone even if he’s smarter than the other two are. he’s quick to get it but doesn’t know how to comfort people and is more of a chill ‘oh.. that sucks, dude. me too, anyways, wanna light a blunt and talk about it?’ kind of guy

^^ he’s only good at that stuff when it comes to understanding books/movies/music. that’s where it’s over for samalex (sam aside from the music part

“what are you watching?”

“a 6 hour commentary video about sonic.exe”

“adventure time!!”

“black mirror.”

“oh..”

(sam has a short attention span but locks in when it comes to commentary videos about random niche shit)

pre-t trans seb down here

alex to pre top surgery seb: “c’mere.. stress balls”

post top surgery seb to alex: “c’mere.. stress balls.”

sam just enjoys having his face stuffed in boobs. doesn’t care wether they’re pecs ‘boobs’ or regular boobs.

seb is confident in his gender pre t or not. he’s more of a ‘i genuinely believe and know i am a man’ than a ‘i want to be a man’

..as confident as he is and as much as he loves them, he feels a slight resentment to samalex because he just feels this hint of jealousy and insecurity around them. they’re just such big representations of masculinity. it makes him feel a little sick that he feels that way because he knows he should love and appreciate them for being patient, he just can’t help it. he will find himself comparing them to him.

sebastian randomly showed up at sam’s house on a random night when he was younger and came out to him before he asked for help cutting all of his hair off. he already had his emo shag but ended up keeping it 

seb has a hard time remembering to take his binder off.. though it makes him feel better in his skin, his ribs are about to explode.

cuddling and then a hand just reaches up and.. squeeze (seb doesn’t even question it)

this ones a bit of a shorter dump;p

[runawaymun]

It's something that I want to do a full write-up on after I finish more more quests (most especially Baizhu's) but I just want to put it out there that I am constantly amazed, as a chronic-illness haver myself, how many characters in Genshin Impact have chronic illnesses, how visible they are, and how well represented they are.

Like, it's extremely difficult to find even one character in a piece of fiction that has a chronic illness (let alone one where it isn't played for laughs, OR otherwise it completely destroys their life and they're fucking miserable, OR it's magically cured).

But Genshin? Dude you trip over a character with a chronic illness every five seconds, it feels like, and I fucking love that. Off the top of my head there's:

Anna (Mondstat), who visibly suffers from her illness and we know her brother struggles to pay for her medicine. But the traveler, through a series of quests, helps them get ahold of an affordable medication to manage (MANAGE, not cure) the illness and to return her quality of life to her.

Little Hongdou (Liyue) - who has an unspecified chronic illness. And she just does. But she's out and about and seems very happy.

Collei (Sumeru, playable) - and sure her illness is fixed by the end of the Sumeru quest, but I don't even care because of how well it's represented. She has hopes, ambitions, dreams. She participates in her work as a forest ranger even though we get visible confirmation that her illness is progressing. The people around her care and are compassionate, and do their best to make sure she takes care of herself, but she is also allowed to just...go out? and do things?? This shouldn't be such a tall order but chronic illness-havers with friends and family members who understand that, hey there are good days and there are bad days -- that's rare in fiction (and IRL for that matter).

Dunyarzad (Sumeru) - her chronic illness is a major plot-driver in an entire fucking archon quest. She has a huge amount of influence on the people around her, and her chronic illness is actually part of the whole reason we even are able to help Nahida in the first place. Her chronic illness is what makes her instrumental to the plot, but it also isn't the only thing about her, and I love that.

Dulphy (Fontaine) - an actress from Furina's story quest. What really struck me about Dulphy is how the people around her interact with her. I was half in tears by the end of the quest -- not even for Furina reasons (yes, that too), but because I was so touched by the fact that a game gave us a character who was unable to follow through with something she said she was going to do (finish her closing performance as the lead actress in a musical), and that was okay. Like, yeah, the people around her were upset -- but they were upset because she hadn't taken great care of herself and had pushed herself past her spoon limit! Nobody (including the narrative itself) treated it as a great failure when she had to call it quits on her performance. Rather, that was treated as a good thing, and they went so far as to explicitly state that her performance up to that point mattered, and that it was a meaningful contribution, even though she couldn't finish. And that just fucking got me, man. Also - again, this is a character where it is explicitly stated "this is a chronic illness. It has good days and bad days and it can only be managed, not cured. And if she pushes herself too hard then she'll need several days to recover." And that's just...part of who she is.

And, of course, Baizhu. (Liyue, playable) My beloved, my blorbo. His chronic illness(es) is an extremely visible part of his character - referenced in his voicelines, his idles, his interactions in quests, the imaginarium theater, and even your teapot house, and his emojis. Hell, he even coughs if you sprint too much with him. Nevertheless, he's arguably one of the strongest healer units in the game from a meta perspective, and from a story perspective he is immensely successful, insanely compassionate, and while he isn't necessarily super kind to himself about it, the people around him are. His chronic illness is part of him, but he is still allowed to inhabit a story where he's the most renowned and beloved doctor in his entire country & just...is an awesome, active person in general, and that means so much to me.

Just. God. I legitimately can't think of another piece of fiction where I have seen myself represented over and over and over again everywhere I look, let alone so kindly. It's genuinely so moving to have so many characters be so visibly chronically ill, and for that to just be part of their character. A neutral thing about them. And to have it be okay when they can't finish things -- even though they said they would, okay when they need to rest, okay when they have to take a break or extra care with themselves. And not just one but so many. I'm sure I'm forgetting some to boot.

(Honorable mention: Qiqi. Like sure she's a zombie but hear me out: visible chronic joint and memory issues, which is something I also deal with and it's just so refreshing to see a character who deals with them, too -- and who has so many people around her who are so kind about it).

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello sex witch! I hope i am not disrespectful or annoying in sending this ask. Im a mid 20s straight dude who has never had any sexual experience, and i know people constantly say that it doesnt define me, that i shouldnt base my self worth on that, but the fact is it is incredibly alienating to be an adult who simply does not participate in what for most people seems to be a normal part of adult life. I want to have sexual experiences, but at this point im afraid i am like… too broken to start? Like who would want to initiate a sexual experience with someone like me yknow? I guess im asking for advice in how to overcome this kind of thing and begin having a sex life. Even if you can’t provide much advice, I’m hoping that if you post this, maybe other people in my situation will feel a little less alone. Love and light to you <3

hi anon,

this isn't disrespectful or rude at all, and I'm glad you're willing to reach out for advice about this! I often worry that I'm missing the 20-something straight dude demographic, but I'm glad to know some of y'all are out there, because you deserve compassionate conversations about sex as much as everyone else does :)

I'm gonna say this right up front: you're not broken. nobody is! whenever you find yourself worrying that there's something about you that would make any potential partner go running, I want you to imagine the situation were reversed. if a woman you were attracted to told you something about herself that was the same thing you're ashamed of in yourself, would you stop being attracted to her?

in this case, would it be a dealbreaker for you that someone else hadn't had any previous sexual partners? would you think they were broken and unfuckable, or would you see that as just one aspect of a person who's much more than their sexual history?

if you wouldn't feel negatively about a partner having that trait then I'm sorry, you're not allowed to hate it in yourself! them's the rules!

listen: very rarely does a person pick a sexual partner because of their extensive sexual resume. people connect over shared interests, over similar senses of humor and values, over bonds that can be formed in a second if the vibes are right. most people won't care how many other partners you've had; they'll care if you seem interesting and dynamic and worth getting to know more in a carnal manner.

listen: ultimately, you have very little control over whether or not you have sex. it's largely a matter of luck and coincidence unless you feel like paying someone to have sex with you, which is a fine thing to do - sex workers need to make rent, after all. but what you can control is how you show up in the world, how you express yourself, and how you interact with others. cultivate yourself. dedicate time to your interests, take loving care of yourself, learn to do things that make you happy without shame, practice being a good friend and conversational partner, take risks that let you have fun outside your comfort zone.

in short, focus on the areas of your life that you can control rather than dwelling on the ones dictated so heavily by chance. the best case scenario is that you become the sexiest, most interesting person alive; the worst case scenario is that you enjoy life more fully whether you have a partner or not.

also, hey: for what it's worth, studies pretty consistently find that most people tend to WILDLY overestimate the amount of sex that other people are having while considering themselves below average. the truth is that you're unlikely to be nearly as much of an outlier as you worry that you are.

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Coming Out of the Storm

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ John 3:3 Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again

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VERSE OF THE DAY 

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+ Jonah 1:12: “Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.”

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SUBJECT: Coming Out of the Storm

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM LOVING

I AM COMPASSIONATE

I AM FREE

I AM STRONG

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READ TIME: 8 Minutes & 22 Seconds

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THOUGHTS:

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  Every day is truly unique and unpredictable. Some days bring us success and small victories, while others may bring us struggles and challenges. It can be easy to get caught up in the rollercoaster of emotions and circumstances, but it is essential to remember that God is always with us. Even on our toughest days, when it may be hard to see, God is there, guiding us and helping us through. Sometimes, it may feel like there is always something going wrong, but we can find comfort in knowing that God sees everything and is in control. No matter how our day unfolds, we can find peace knowing God has our backs.

  I used to have days when I would say, "Do God see what is happening to me? Does he even care?" But as I grew in faith in God, I realized that no matter where I am in my walk with him, he's with me walking. I must understand. We all must understand that God controls the good and the bad, and even we sometimes have little control over what's happening to us. Someone might say, "How so ?"

  Well, if God tells you not to do something and you still do it, whose fault do you think it is for that outcome? If God says, don't do a certain thing, and you still go, whose fault do you think it is? God can only tell us so much, and then it's up to us, and I am telling you now, friends, I have had that moment where I did exactly what he told me not to do, and the outcome was horrible, but I only have myself to blame. Look at Jonah.

  Jonah 1:12: “Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.”

  You see, Jonah was told to go to Nineveh, and because he wouldn't listen, they had to take him and throw him overboard. Then he got into the belly of a whale. Verse 17: Now the Lord provided a giant fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.

   How many nights have we found ourselves confused, wondering how we got to where we are? It often starts with not listening to God. He is always there to lead and guide us through everything. God will never force us to do anything, but He will always show us the way. All we have to do is walk in that way. Sometimes, it may seem like the enemy is constantly trying to pull us in the wrong direction, but we always have a choice to listen to God and follow His path. He always gives us a way out, as it says in the word, but it's up to us to use that way out. Have you ever found yourself in a tempting situation, but God provided a way out? It may seem too good to be true, but nothing is better than the way God is trying to guide us. He is always trying to get us out of situations, and it's up to us to follow His lead. Remember, God's way is always the best way.

 Sometimes, we think very little about what is happening to us because the enemy makes everything seem like it is okay or this is alright, but what we must understand when we go through we are going is that the enemy wants what we have, which is our souls; he wants us further away from God and the more we allow him in and the more we let these situations come in between God and us we lose our connection we never want to allow things to stop us from being who we are in Christ we must remember our identity and our identity is saved, our identity is free, our identity is His, remember God always gives us the way out, but we must use that opportunity wisely.

   1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

  Jonah's story is a powerful reminder that no matter how far we may have strayed, we can always find our way back to the path of righteousness. Like Jonah, we may have been brought to our knees by the enemy's temptations and games, but we have the strength and the will to break free from its grasp. We often fall into the trap of thinking that the things the enemy offers us are necessary for our happiness, but in reality, they only lead us further away from God. We see this play out in the story of Adam and Eve, who were lured into sin by the promise of knowledge and power. But in the end, they found that the consequences of their actions were not worth it. Similarly, our sins may seem appealing at the moment, but they can never truly satisfy our souls. We must remember that our true fulfillment and joy can only come from God, and turning away from sin is the only way to find it. So let us follow Jonah's example and find our way out of the darkness, back into the light of God's love and grace.

  ***Today, we learned that no matter where we are, God is in control and sees the hard part, but life can bring many ups and downs. We sometimes don’t know what to do or how to handle it, and the Holy Spirit tells us today we can handle hard situations. Don’t get lost in what the enemy tries to offer you but draw closer to me because I can help you through it all. I know sometimes our biggest regrets come when we realize we allow our ways to lead us away from God, and honestly, when we are led away, we don’t even feel it happening, but the moment we see, we have the power to turn around, we must.

   Hebrews 2:18 Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He can help those who are being tempted.

  See, Jesus knows what it means to be tempted by things, but the thing is, he denied it all, and the enemy kept coming, and each time he did this, Jesus was able to say no. Can you say no to the enemy because sometimes life is so hard, and then having a temptation from the enemy can make our life a little easier? It is hard to turn away, and it's hard to say no to, but we have to say no to the enemy so God can help us; if you are experiencing a hard time in life, do not allow it to blind you to accept what the enemy offers but ask God for the strength to say no to the enemy.

 ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, thank you for this beautiful day. We know that you are always with us, and we are so grateful for everything you do in our lives. Today, we come to you with a special request - please give us the strength to fight temptation and not allow it to consume us. We want to focus on you more and what you can do in our lives. Right now, things may not be going our way, but we trust that you have a plan for us. So, as we read this devotional, we pray that you help us to apply it to our lives and see the positive changes it can bring. In Jesus' name, amen.

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REFERENCES 

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+ 2 Peter 2:9 If all this is so, then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials and to hold the unrighteous for punishment on the day of judgment.

 

+ 2 Thessalonians  3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.

 

+ Psalm 91:3-4 Surely He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler, and from the deadly plague. / He will cover you with His feathers; under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and rampart.

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FURTHER READINGS 

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Proverbs 23 

Ecclesiastes 6

Judges 14

Ruth 2

Psalm 1

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[shirefantasies]

Hi, I hope you doing good. Can i have a matchup for LOTR and/or HOBBIT please 💐 Firstly English not my first language. I'm autistic. I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy chubby cheeks. I have braces. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. My eyebrows are constantly furrowed. Also I'm 172 cm. I'm Libra. If you interested, my mbti Infp and my enneagram 5w4. I always have poker face. I'm very outspoken, stubborn. I always doing my job alone. I find it difficult to express my feelings and prefer to isolate myself. My best feature is that I know a little about everything, I always surprise people. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, scary, quiet, unapproachable and distant, mature. But at heart I'm compassionate and helpful, works for the good of people. And they often think I can't speak and I'm deaf but I'm not. People say I'm extremely chaste. When I enter an environment, I listen to what people say and get to know them well, I decide if there is anyone worth talking to. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, sarcastic, resourceful and knowledgeable. I am usually a rebellious person. I am the person who stands against injustices and lies in an environment. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. Actually i like to help everyone and it works automatically without me noticing. I will help anyone by giving my all. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, politics, history, fashion. I like to visit second-hand and antique markets. I'm someone who doesn't like to waste money but cares about clothing. I always wear my headphones and listen to music, i listen every genre. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints or all black. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. And I don't believe in love. If I'm going to be with someone, I'll be happy if we have respect, compassion, and loyalty to each other. It is enough that we are in harmony with each other. If I am with someone, I am clearly their mother.

You sure can have a matchup 💐 and your man is…

Beorn! 🐻

You are tired of the world. Tired of all its hustle and bustle and rules and unnecessary noise. It isn’t like you have family back in any of those towns and cities anyway. Nature is your true domain, the place where you can be yourself and feel harmony, stroll through fields of fragrant blooms without prying eyes…or so you think. A small patrol of orcs catches you off guard, brandishing their scimitars and chasing you deeper into the woods you had sought solace in. Your legs pump as fast as they can, but it is hardly enough. Just as you think your burning, heaving chest will give out and fail you, though, a great bear bursts from the woods, making short work of your would-be tormentors. Before your eyes the beast shrinks down, becoming a great man, and bids you simply “Come with me.”

Had you more energy you’d have tried to fight, but as it is you practically shake from the adrenaline and still feel a burning in your lungs; nodding, you just follow him down a trail and across a field to his cottage. Distant, in bloom, populated only by livestock and bumblebees. You like it. Tentatively you smile up at the towering, bearded man. “You have no home, do you?” He asks. You shake your head and he sighs. “That is what I thought.” It seemed he isn’t much one for company, either. No complaints leave his lips, though, as you set down your small pack of possessions, or as you scan the interior of his home, taking in every nook and cranny. “We eat in an hour,” the man simply says.

Beorn. You learn his name over the meal, confirm your suspicions that he, too, has his reasons for isolating from society. Tell him how beautiful his home really is as he speaks of protecting nature’s gifts and feeling no remorse for those who sully them. Respect flows through you at his words, keeps you nodding as he speaks.

When you emerge the next morning, this time clean and in a long dress of floral print, you notice the way Beorn’s bushy eyebrows rise, his expression softens. You practically challenge him as you go outside, exploring and gently tending the livestock. He says nothing, though, save following you and giving you the occasional nod at your kind treatment of his animals. “Keep my house safe,” he tells you at the end of the day, “and I keep the woods safe.” In his way, you realize, he is asking you to stay, and you agree. He makes a nicer meal this night.

Your motions in the kitchen are something of a dance, Beorn and you all but intuitively moving around the other, working in perfect rhythm. His people have many old songs to learn, and you vow to sing them as best you can as you work. Beorn cleans and bends some old metal scraps, strings a pair of acorns into new earrings for you. Payment for repairing all his blankets, he says, but you catch the faintest of smiles on his lips. Spring explodes across the meadows in great flowery bursts. Soon in your pastures a new calf is born; in a wave of excitement and celebration, Beorn lifts you up by the waist and spins you around. Both of your serious expressions bursting into true joy, utter freedom of care and concern, for the first time in too long. Some may call your life simple, your relationship confusing, but you know what you are to each other deep in your hearts of hearts and you want for nothing that your woods, your little cottage, and each other cannot provide.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰

[tinywitchgoblin]

Hi I am so sorry I put an ask in a few moments ago for a bad batch ship but I thought of more things to add 😅 so if you don’t mind I’ll start again.

Could I please get a sfw/nsfw if you’re comfortable with that.

I’m in my mid 20s afab, she/her pronouns. I’m an infp a Scorpio, I sit comfortably as an ambivert and I have adhd. I’m 5’7” and am petite with a pear shape body and hearty hips.

I was raised by a kick ass single mother, my passions are music, reading, starwars, theology and mythology.

I am a dreamer who is constantly looking for magic and the impossible. I am empathetic and caring, outgoing, conscientious and compassionate.

In my teen years I was planning on studying to be a doctor like the rest of my family but decided against it when I couldn’t stomach losing patients.

I’m an administrator with a experienced background in medical administration but I have since left the medical profession instead focusing on broad administrative roles.

I my past I have experience with martial arts (ninjitsu and aikido) with focus on Bo staff as well as hand to hand combat and defence, figure skating and reiki.

My family and my friends are my life. I would do anything to protect them. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. I cannot wait to have children of my own.

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason, both the good and the bad. Everything that we experience shapes us, teaches us and makes us who we are. I wouldn’t change even the worst things I’ve experienced because it makes me who I am. And I’m happy with the person I’ve grown (and am continuing to grow) to be.

If I were in the Star Wars universe I would adore being a powerful force user who only discovered her abilities later into her 20s (who wouldn’t 😂)

I am a romantic person at heart. Although I try to act tough and independent, I’m soft and delicate. I’ve been wronged in love too many times so I have a shield up to protect me. My love language are mainly physical touch and words of affirmation but I enjoy a even amount of all of them. My partner left me at the beginning of the year so I’m learning to be my own person again, heal my heart and start again.

I think I’ve gotten everything this time 😂 thank you so much for your time !

Of course!!

I ship you with...

Echo!

Echo loves every single thing about you, but if he absolutely had to choose, it would be your heart. He sees how much you care about the people around you and how protective you are of your loved ones. Since you started dating (and even before), you grew to be very protective of his family, too, in a way that none of them had really experienced from a non-clone before. Plus, seeing the way you and Omega bonded made his heart melt.

Echo has been through so much pain and suffering, whether that be during or after the war, and he's grown a bit jaded. However, with you, he started seeing the good in the galaxy again. He admires your outlook on life and your desire to learn from your mistakes and become a better person, and he finds it very inspiring. He also finds it fascinating when you talk about theology, especially when it has tangible applications. Echo was never religious, and it wasn't something he was exposed to when he was younger, so to hear you talk about it is something that means a lot to him. He loves having those types of conversations with you.

Learning different types of martial arts was an integral part of Echo's ARC training, so he's a very skilled martial artist- easily the best of the batch. He loves sparring with you and teaching you some of what he learned, as well as learning new techniques from you. It's a good way to keep in shape and he gets to spend more time with you- it's a win-win! Sometimes, Hunter will join in as he has some martial skills as well, but it usually ends with Echo whooping his ass solely for the purpose of showing off (respectfully, of course).

Due to his prostheses, Echo is a bit nervous about engaging in physical affection with you at first, but eventually, after lots of patience and slowly building up to it, he ends up loving it. Some afternoons, the batch will walk in and see you and him cuddling on the couch, fast asleep, not a care in the world. When you sleep at night, you typically end up spooning, but who ends up in which position tends to vary. Either way, as long as you're together, Echo feels safe and secure, both physically and emotionally; you are his safe place.

-

Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this, drop it in my ask box, and don't forget to reblog <3

[aerospas]

Hi, I hope you doing good. Can I request matchup for Star Trek? I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy chubby cheeks. I have braces. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. My eyebrows are constantly furrowed. Also I'm 172 cm. I'm Libra. If you interested, my mbti Infp and my enneagram 5w4. I always have poker face. I'm very outspoken, stubborn. I always doing my job alone. I find it difficult to express my feelings and prefer to isolate myself. My best feature is that I know a little about everything, I always surprise people. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, scary, quiet, unapproachable and distant, mature. But at heart I'm compassionate and helpful, works for the good of people. And they often think I can't speak and I'm deaf but I'm not. People say I'm extremely chaste. When I enter an environment, I listen to what people say and get to know them well, I decide if there is anyone worth talking to. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, sarcastic, resourceful and knowledgeable. I am usually a rebellious person. I am the person who stands against injustices and lies in an environment. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. Actually i like to help everyone and it works automatically without me noticing. I will help anyone by giving my all. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, politics, history, fashion. I like to visit second-hand and antique markets. I'm someone who doesn't like to waste money but cares about clothing. I always wear my headphones and listen to music, i listen every genre. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints or all black. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. And I don't believe in love. If I'm going to be with someone, I'll be happy if we have respect, compassion, and loyalty to each other. It is enough that we are in harmony with each other. If I am with someone, I am clearly their mother.-🧠

from the original series, i'd pair you with, doctor mccoy!

with your outspoken and resourceful nature, mccoy might initially be taken aback, but he'd soon appreciate your depth of knowledge and your compassionate heart beneath your closed-off exterior. your willingness to stand against injustices would resonate strongly with mccoy, who's never one to shy away from speaking his mind. he might tease you for your serious demeanour, but deep down, he'd admire your determination and independence. your shared love for diving into research — whether it's about medicine, cultures, or history — would provide endless topics for discussion. mccoy's gruff warmth and your hidden softness would create a dynamic where both of you support each other in your quieter moments, finding solace in shared understanding and mutual respect.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: i wasn't sure what series you preferred, so i chose my favourite!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hey :) I guess I’m looking for some advice and reassurance please.

I feel like this is going to sound so stupid, I feel so stupid.

Me and my friend, who’s also my manager, have been friends now for over two years. She’s been there for me through my mental health crisises, visited me in hospital when I was sectioned last year etc.

When I came back to work 4 months ago from my section, our friendship has been strained. She’s acted different with me, and distant. For her birthday in August I planned for us to go out to dinner to celebrate, she cancelled on me and told me she would let me know a date she was free, she never did. I’ve asked her multiple times over the past month or two when she is free after work to go for dinner or a drink. This is something we used to do often, but she always rejected me or make an excuse.

I’ve told her numerous times how I feel and how I feel she is being distant, asked her if I have done something to upset her because I would like to put it right, but she always says I haven’t done anything and either makes excuses or dismisses me.

Last night we finished work and she asked me if I wanted to grab something to eat. We went and I had a really nice time. We laughed, cried, caught up properly.

She messaged me to let me know she got home and I did the same. I texted her saying ‘thank you for this evening, I’ve missed hanging out with you’ and she has read and ignored me but has been messaging on our various group chats. I know her well enough to know this is on purpose.

I’ve known for some time now that I need to create some distance between us, because our friendship feels very one sided and it’s something I lose sleep over and think about constantly because it upsets me so much. I know people say to ‘take a step back’ or ‘cut someone off’ but I’m a little autistic and I wondered if you could explain how I could do that to me as if I was a child I guess. I know it sounds stupid but I just don’t understand.

I feel SO stupid and vulnerable that I’ve said that to her and been again dismissed. I wish she valued me as much as I value her. I think she may be my FP (I have BPD) which I guess makes it more complicated.

Why does no one ever like me as much as I like them? Why am I not worth the effort? Why does it feel like I have to beg her to be my friend and hang out with me.

I’m so sorry for the long message. I truly appreciate your time and help, and I hope you are having a great day ❤️

hey anon,

I'm sorry this has been so hard on you. Making and maintaining friendships isn't always easy.

I'm proud of you for trying to communicate and give her the benefit of the doubt. You've done what you can on that front, it sounds like. Behavior is a language and I think she is an unreliable "friend."

Please know that you're not stupid for being vulnerable and trying. You sound like an awesome, kind person. Try not to blame yourself. Not everyone is compatible, and when she's being flaky and inconsistent, it's for the best that you move on. Make sure you're being compassionate with yourself and taking extra care of yourself.

Why do you feel that you're unworthy of friendship/companionship? Dig into that. You are worth being liked, being close to. There will be people you meet who you gel with and with whom you can be yourself. Join a club, go somewhere regularly, look at events in town, and put yourself out there! You have so many great attributes that people would be happy to be around.

Wishing you well!

Mod Misa

[kaycode1999]

Hi! Could I get an MHA matchup?

personality- I’m generally a cheerful dorky person. I can come of as a little strange sometimes but most people consider me a mother figure or a therapist figure in their life! I’ve been compared a lot to izuku/deku and honestly I have alot of his curiosity and habits (like analyzing so much in a way most no one understands…) but I am dependable and try my best to be a leader and someone to depend on! I do get really sarcastic and can be a really blunt the more you get to know me though… I tend to talk before I consider

I’m a female, she/her and biromantic! I look korean and I am asian with a black wolfcut and alot of fashionable clothing. I love dressing up in streetwear but mostly dark/light academia. My aesthetic as such is academia

hobbies- I love picking up different hobbies and learning about people, I know a bit of everything as I’ve dabbled and hyper fixated on several different things, as such I’m sort of a jack of all trades?… My overarching hobby is learning, I love learning anything and everything, often researching topics and also asking people about what they like and learning about that. I’m also physically active and try my best to workout/weightlift but also be academically balanced. I love making gifts for all my friends, sewing plushies, cooking food (which I am constantly feeding my friends). But one hobby I enjoy is writing and journalling what I’ve learned! I also like analyzing people/topics/things! I’m currently into alot of plant studies and learning about how to cure stuff through natural remedies. Apothecary stuff basically!

Would not like to be paired with Mineta, Toga, Compress, Spinner, Endeavor, Allmight

Sorry if this was much! Thank you for taking the time :)) hope you’re doing well! Please take care of yourself!

Rumi Usagiyama AKA Mirko

I picked her mostly because all I could picture was Yukio and Negasonic teenage warhead from Deadpool and it's so cute

She's more loud and in your face and you’re more sweet and compassionate if that's the word? But you both want to help and take care of people and that's why you fit so well together

I think she is someone who appreciates being told how it is, so she doesn't mind if you're blunt as long as you're being honest with her

She loves your sass/sarcasm. She finds it endearing and at times will take it as a challenge

She probably learns a lot of random things from you. Like, she will be around some of her hero friends and somehow she ends up dropping this little bit of knowledge- maybe something weird or obscure and they look at her like what the hell? How do you know that? And she gets to smile proudly and say my girlfriend and I learned about it through whatever means

The gym is a shared interest so that's fun. Have you seen how jacked she is?😂 she might end up pushing (or trying to push) you past your limits, but if you really can't do something or need a break she’ll understand

She absolutely loves your cooking. No you can't send food with her for any of her co-workers or friends because she WILL keep it for herself

If you make her a plushy she will definitely keep it in her office ( She may or may not threaten to beat up anyone who teases her about it )

I think she wants you to have some things for yourself, so she will get you supplies for writing and journaling to show her support but she won’t ask to read any of it unless you tell her she can or ask her to

[natti-ice]

Hi, I hope you doing good. Can I request mini challenge with Marauders? I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy chubby cheeks. I have braces. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. My eyebrows are constantly furrowed. Also I'm 172 cm. I'm Libra. If you interested, my mbti Infp and my enneagram 5w4. I always have poker face. I'm very outspoken, stubborn. I always doing my job alone. I find it difficult to express my feelings and prefer to isolate myself. My best feature is that I know a little about everything, I always surprise people. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, scary, quiet, unapproachable and distant, mature. But at heart I'm compassionate and helpful, works for the good of people. And they often think I can't speak and I'm deaf but I'm not. People say I'm extremely chaste. When I enter an environment, I listen to what people say and get to know them well, I decide if there is anyone worth talking to. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, sarcastic, resourceful and knowledgeable. I am usually a rebellious person. I am the person who stands against injustices and lies in an environment. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. Actually i like to help everyone and it works automatically without me noticing. I will help anyone by giving my all. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, politics, history, fashion. I like to visit second-hand and antique markets. I'm someone who doesn't like to waste money but cares about clothing. I always wear my headphones and listen to music, i listen every genre. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints or all black. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. And I don't believe in love. If I'm going to be with someone, I'll be happy if we have respect, compassion, and loyalty to each other. It is enough that we are in harmony with each other.

I ship you with… James potter!

You seem to be very sure of yourself and opinionated which I think James would be very fond of! He would find your “cold” exterior very attractive, he likes someone who’s a little rough around the edges. Also I’ve always thought he’d be into mythology, any kind really, and you having a shared passion with him would make him like you even more!

Join my 700 celebration!

[rafesfavslut]

hi i hope you doing good. Can i have a matchup for marauders era please 💐 Firstly English not my first language. I'm autistic. I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy chubby cheeks. I have braces. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. My eyebrows are constantly furrowed. Also I'm 172 cm. I'm Libra. If you interested, my mbti Infp and my enneagram 5w4. I always have poker face. I'm very outspoken, stubborn. I always doing my job alone. I find it difficult to express my feelings and prefer to isolate myself. My best feature is that I know a little about everything, I always surprise people. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, scary, quiet, unapproachable and distant, mature. But at heart I'm compassionate and helpful, works for the good of people. And they often think I can't speak and I'm deaf but I'm not. People say I'm extremely chaste. When I enter an environment, I listen to what people say and get to know them well, I decide if there is anyone worth talking to. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, sarcastic, resourceful and knowledgeable. I am usually a rebellious person. I am the person who stands against injustices and lies in an environment. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. Actually i like to help everyone and it works automatically without me noticing. I will help anyone by giving my all. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, politics, history, fashion. I like to visit second-hand and antique markets. I'm someone who doesn't like to waste money but cares about clothing. I always wear my headphones and listen to music, i listen every genre. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints or all black. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. And I don't believe in love. If I'm going to be with someone, I'll be happy if we have respect, compassion, and loyalty to each other. It is enough that we are in harmony with each other. If I am with someone, I am clearly their mother.

𝐈 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐔𝐒 𝐋𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐍

idk why but you give the biggest remus vibes ever

much taller than you so lowkey would occasionally tease you for it

i feel like while your love language is words of affirmation, he lowkey struggles with it, but secretly likes it very much

[dwindlinghaze]

hi i hope you doing good. Can i have 🪞🩰 Firstly English not my first language. I'm autistic. I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy chubby cheeks. I have braces. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. My eyebrows are constantly furrowed. Also I'm 172 cm. I'm Libra. If you interested, my mbti Infp and my enneagram 5w4. I always have poker face. I'm very outspoken, stubborn. I always doing my job alone. I find it difficult to express my feelings and prefer to isolate myself. My best feature is that I know a little about everything, I always surprise people. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, scary, quiet, unapproachable and distant, mature. But at heart I'm compassionate and helpful, works for the good of people. And they often think I can't speak and I'm deaf but I'm not. People say I'm extremely chaste. When I enter an environment, I listen to what people say and get to know them well, I decide if there is anyone worth talking to. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, sarcastic, resourceful and knowledgeable. I am usually a rebellious person. I am the person who stands against injustices and lies in an environment. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. Actually i like to help everyone and it works automatically without me noticing. I will help anyone by giving my all. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, politics, history, fashion. I like to visit second-hand and antique markets. I'm someone who doesn't like to waste money but cares about clothing. I always wear my headphones and listen to music, i listen every genre. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints or all black. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. And I don't believe in love. If I'm going to be with someone, I'll be happy if we have respect, compassion, and loyalty to each other. It is enough that we are in harmony with each other. If I am with someone, I am clearly their mother.

hello and ty for participating in my 500 celebration

here's your 🪞 in case you didn't see

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

🩰 : i ship you with sirius black

╰┈➤ sirius thinks your poker slash furrowed face is cute. imagine him just giggling at himself by just seeing you.

"you're crazy," you said without glancing up at him. the pair of eyes that belonged to sirius black had been glued to you for the past thirty minutes. he admired the slight wrinkle formed in between your brows as the cause of furrowing them too much. "im not crazy, i'm admiring," his voice rasp and low. your face heated up but your poker face was never gone.

╰┈➤ at first it was hard for sirius to approach you. seemed like his charm wasn't working so he had no choice but to find another way. you rarely talks or starts conversations with people, the opposite of him. but it doesn't mean that you're completely unsociable.

╰┈➤ opening up to express your feelings took a while. he understood that though because he knew that some things are hard to communicate and it's not because you dislike him. so by that he gives you space and time for you to ease up in order for you to ease up your inner emotions.

╰┈➤ during the times where you were still getting to know each other, he'd do most of the talking. telling you about his hobbies, friends, favourite places, and you listen. you prefer to listen. that doesn't mean that you don't give him responses.

"-so yeah, i spent that whole day with my friends and i cherish them so," he finished at last, glancing over at you who had your brows furrowed as you listened to his words. that day you wore a soft coloured shirt with flowers embroidered from the edges. "you look beautiful today, darling," he mentioned. "thank you siri," you let out an airy chuckle as you closed your eyes briefly, face relaxing. you tilt your head to the side to see him, your brows knitted once more as you took out a piece of dirt from his hair.

╰┈➤ sirius definitely loves the fact that you're helpful and 'mom friend'. growing up in a household of injustices and cruelty, he didn't have anyone to look out for him. he felt truly adored whenever you gave him a helping hand mindlessly.

you noticed how he was struggling to ask for the eye catching piece his eyes got caught on the store display. he was pointing rather stupidly at the glass pane while the storekeeper was trying their best to understand what he's doing. "uh- il vout la épingle," you said finally and the keeper nodded straight away. sirius looked at you curiously, raising his brow. you know everything. really.

╰┈➤ you mentioned that physical touch isn't something you enjoy so he knows how to respect that. besides, he's much better at words anyway so it wasn't a big thing that bothered him.

╰┈➤ visiting old antique shops is an activity you love. seeing the old precious objects that time forgot, vintage smells all through the store, and how it felt like travelling back to time.

you stumbled across a dusty sculpture of a human face but only with one eye made out of mahogany. "oh my god siri look!" you whispered as you tugged on his jacket. sirius made a weird face, pressing his lips together. "what is that creature?" said he in pure fright. "that's a cyclops, i've never seen it in 3d before. cool huh?"

[abeautifullyrawsentiment]

What do you feel you need to change within yourself?

I can try to be more patient and give grace.

I need to forgive but I don't know how because there was no resolve.

As mentioned previously I have been working with my individual counselor on trying to hone in on reflecting when I get triggered before I speak. I'm trying to find a way to approach things to Nate in a different manner and the calmest tone as possible to not make him deflect and get defensive. 

I'm also working on trying to accept Nate for who he is. I'm trying to accept the fact that in someways Nate can't give me what I truly need like emotional security or to prioritizing me. If he can't give me those things I need to make a decision and move on. 

Emotional security what it looks like for me : having a safe place to express my hurt and needs without getting dismissed, unheard and gas lit

Prioritizing me and my well being.

If I'm in an accident, sick, hurt, cold, not feeling well or emotionally etc To check in with me first to make sure I'm ok.

Finding repair after an argument. To empathize, validate, say the sorrys, forgiveness and hug it out.

-Identifying core needs vs desires. (To help to avoid lowering expectations on things that are essential, while letting go of expectations on things that may be less crucial.

-Empathy building

-Accepting who he is right now

-Focusing on what he does well instead of what he's lacking

-Embrace Flexibility and Adaptability

-Understanding, identifying and healing my emotional triggers

-Exploring boundaries in new ways (asking for moments of appreciation and affimations)

-Reevaluate relationship needs and compatibility

(Can my current relationship provide that? In hope to lead to new conversations or decisions that are healing )

-Engaging in Reflective practices

Envisioning the life I want about my dreams and values to help clarify what I need to feel whole and prioritized.

-Practicing emtional detachment (to protect my emotional energy. Trying to see things more obectively instead of taking things deeply to heart.

-Choose my responses (pause and ask myself, what response would protect my peace?)

-Reframing my thoughts (what story am I telling myself? Trying not to internalize and focus on my own strengths and values)

-Releasing or loosening expectations. Trying to make room for acceptance and resilience to find peace within myself. To free myself from being constantly let down.

-Focus on compassionate curiosity (shifting into curiosity to help reduce the sting of hurt and to be able to look at things from a broader perspective.

-Letting go of needing to be understood. (Freeing myself of the constant need to explain or justify my feelings

-Practicing forgiveness.

-Engaging in mindful distraction. (Like reading, exercising, anything I enjoy to break out of the loop of pain and negative emotions.

-Develop a personal mantra (I am at peace with myself and God)

How I communicated my concerns with my fiance.

We've been together 4 years. We have a lot of history and a lot of good times together. When we do activities or go on trips in everyday life we are like best friends. I love him very much and feel that I have learned to compromise in many ways to cater to his needs and things that I know I could live with. The last piece of the puzzle that I can't seem to get over is not getting the feeling of emotional security or being prioritized by him. With a lot of self reflection and counseling I've learn that I did not receive emotional security from my parents going up. So as an adult it is an essential part of what I need to feel loved.

I've tried everything from expressing my hurt, expressing my loneliness and abandonment I feel when he doesn't prioritize me. While he is prioritizing everyone else's needs. He shows so much empathy, nurture and care to his family, friends and even strangers but he doesn't show me the same kind of nurture and care towards me.

 For example this is one of many instances where I felt really hurt.  We went to the sand dunes and as he was asking if his friends girlfriend had their helmet (not asking me if I have mine) while I was on the side making sure he had his. That same day I was in a roll over accident, I came out of it just a little bruised but overall ok. He didn't even ask if I was ok, no acknowledgement, nothing. He was more worried about his friend who was driving about getting a dui because beer cans were falling out of the sand car. I expressed how upset and hurt I was and he couldn't for the life of me understand or just say sorry. He was so defensive and trying to explain why he didn't do anything wrong and etc. That is one of many times through out the years how he's been treating me when I really needed him to prioritize me. I don't even ask for anything much. Even a you ok baby? With a thumbs up would've been fine for me.

I've written letters pouring my heart out to him and have had long conversations in a way I felt was loving and used I statements.

I've cried in sadness and frustration and yelled in frustration. I feel that I've gone about in everyday possible to get him to understand that all I need from him when I am hurt, in distress, not feeling well, or don't feel safe I just need him to empathize with me and care for me first. 

He kept telling me it's because I'm jealous and acting like a toddler. He wouldn't empathize with me and continued to disagree with me and fight the fact that he didn't do it on purpose so he did nothing wrong. He says I lash out at him in anger and told me that if he gives in to my needs he thinks it'll go against his integrity and that he would feel like he was being taken advantage of. 

Everything is tit for tat with him, to the extreme. 

This has been on going far too long and last week it happened again. 

My best friend and I had a tiff and it became this emotional thing, where I was really hurt and she responded very immaturely, but ultimately she apologized, we talked it out and we are ok. Nate was there through the whole thing. 

The next day I didn't receive any text from him, no good morning, no nothing. But he text my best friend and asked if she was ok. 

To be honest I'm not upset he text her to check up on her, I was upset because he didnt check on me too! 

I don't understand why he holds me to a different standard and doesn't treat me with the same love? 

After that I was pushed to the limit. I cried for 2 days. I couldn't take it anymore so I told him for the first time in 4 years that I was done with this relationship. 

The next day he apologized for the first time and said he empathized of how he made me feel abandoned and lonely all the times he hurt me. He said he didn't want to lose me. 

I couldn't believe him. So I told him I was willing to give him an opportunity to show me by actions but still want to stay seperated. 

I feel like I am secure attachment and insecure anxious attachment , insecure avoidant

Nate is insecure avoidant

[ronjona]

If i do all my daily practices everyday i end up not sleeping until 5 am

and funnily enough i didn't even do all of it today

like i didn't go to the gym today

i didn't study a letter today

i met with people

few colleagues and a friend

i talked to showmic

i walked 10k steps and got lost in the jungle called mohammadpur

did my waxing

did skin care

listened to part of a podcast

did compassionate meditation and spent the 'alone thought time'

and now I am writing it down

most days i have skipped 10 of these steps to allow the rest

even after leaving ichri my life seems to be filled up to the brim with things i do for myself right now

which is very fulfilling and rewarding in a lot of way

sometimes i think i give ichri more credit than it deserves

speaking of giving credit more than it deserves

i will again speak like a broken record and talk about Z again

from here onwards I would refer to it as SC

so I, on a regular basis run through different simulations in my head trying to ascertain my feelings and emotions and SC's behavior and analyzing constantly. And today i think i truly realized that I am quite helplessly in love with him as whenever i have a pleasant experience i think of him. Picture him enjoying it. Like how today at rafa's roof i for the first time in my life had the opportunity to look at the moon's craters so closely with the Nikon Binoculars she owns. And I was so happy and it was such a cool experience to have. And my immediate thought was SC would love it so much.

And then my mind did what it does best, went into simulation mode where i imagined buying a fuckin professional grade telescope for him....then invite him to a romantic getaway on a mountain, make candle light dinner wear something sexy and plan all these on a night when the sky is clear so that we can have that experience together.

Such an elaborate romantic experience my mind thought of. And this highly unlikely scenario will never ever match upto real life expectations.

Why do I still keep dwelling into these dissociative fleeting figments. Even on a day which i can consider a 'good day'

I can say that right now because of awareness i try to be less limerent.

But it doesn't always work

it is not supposed to work always. I am just aware why i am doing what I am doing

I have tried to dig deeper into my psyche to understand why I am constantly fighting in my mind when it comes to SC

the frontal lobe and amygdala

the thing is it is quite elementary why no one understands your longing for him

cause you have carefully curated out of speaking up about your illogical emotions

You always focus on seeming composed

that is your work in the tribe

you're the one who is supposed to be composed, rational, responsible, in control of everything, constantly check and make sure all the members are fed

that is YOUR identity that you've built for yourself

and mostly you like being this way

but part of it is also because this is the role you assumed

so not being in this role mean people will abandon you

cause they relate to you only through this role

you even relate to you through this role

even you abandon yourself when it doesn't align

you don't speak about your emotions surrounding him

the thing is quite simple

i love him

i am attracted to him

i care about his well-being

i am scared of losing him

i am upset when he rejects me

i am happy when he reaches out

i am happy to see him happy

i am happy when i can make him happy

i am happy when i am able to alleviate his moments of sadness

and currently all these give me the most amount of dopamine rush

and the hardest crash when he is not around me

it is as simple as that

usually the most likely explanations are the most simple ones

i have tried not to be so desperately love him

but i do

there's no denying it

and everyone's love language is massively different

my love language is sacrifice

my love language is not telling the person how much i am hurting

but just being there for them

the thing is i go through these constant phasic changes in my mind regarding this issue

so depending on which day of the week you ask me, I will give a different answer each time.

Someday i will be more mad, someday a bit vengeful somedays will be quite defeatist, somedays melancholic..

but very rarely happy

even on the days when i have made contact with him

somehow my brain actively blocks that out

which fascinates me

my brain stops me from indulging

from being in the moment

from being momentarily happy

my brain is unable to derive pleasure

cos it has been negatively conditioned regarding it

that the other side of affection is rejection

abandonment

loss

Therapist wondered what was in the core

i have a guess

it is fear of being abandoned

it is fear of being powerless

it is the fear of being perpetually being unloved

and being unable to love

to feel things too much

yet feel nothing at all

a constant state of burning agony

and freezing indifference

something i have felt

something that happened to me

one day i will make a list of who abandoned me and who i abandoned

but today

i am done with my daily tasks.

i go sleep

Ri

5:25 am 14/1/25

[sevandsstuff]

Its been so long since the last time I pressed the Post button in Tumblr. Its nice to return.

I am more mature now than I’ve ever been. But I win because I still can maintain the childlike personality and the freshness of youth.

I have been healing and growing so strong. I got to know myself and be compassionate with myself through the triggering moments in my romantic relationships. Saying that doesn’t mean I don’t spend enough time with friends and family. It’s just because I am secure when it comes to friends, avoidant towards family and fearful avoidant with partners.

Sounds messy right? Yes it is. I have been trying to dig into the root causes of all the sufferings I have in life. I am on the right path.

I can give a brief summary on what I’ve learned from my relationships for these past 2 years.

1. I am and was a Fearful avoidant, that means I have a lots of traumas tied to my identity (just found out lately) (Its a long and painful journey I didn’t sign up for)

2. In my last relationship, I wanted to love deeply for the first time, so I tried to become the best version of myself (at that time). I came from heavily leaning avoidant to leaning anxious 💀. It was beyond miserable being constantly worried about every damn thing. But well it’s necessary for my growth.

3. I pride myself for being independent and “I don’t need anyone” so in my last relationship I had an identity crisis because I felt like shit when I cared too much. I was constantly trying to break up in my mind.

4. Thorough that process, I learned and fucked up and learned (the second biggest lesson was choose your source of information wisely or it’ll mess with your peace). There were days I was tortured by my thoughts to the point I couldn’t fucking sleep. I had to ask my now best friend (Quy) for help or else I could for real died of mental exhaustion.

5. The biggest achievement from that 14month-ish relationship was the ability to feel my feelings, to start to open up, to self-soothe, to accept my emotions instead of pushing them away, shutting them down, to be more (from nothing so somewhat) straightforward.

6. He was a good many in almost every aspect. Just inappropriate from my perspective. And we were not compatible. But I loved him that’s for sure. The first time I knew what love was.

7. We broke up and I was single for nearly 2 months. False, I didn’t rush into a relationship, my now boyfriend pursued me too hard and I didn’t want to miss a good man.

8. I was so secure when I’m not attached. But as soon as I’m no longer detached, the trigger is pulled. This partner triggers a new part of me. A full blown Fearful Avoidant. If I was 70% Anxious Preoccupied 30% Fearful Avoidant with my ex, I am 97% Fearful Avoidant and 3% Anxious Preoccupied now.

9. If I have to describe FA in 1 word?: Distrust. For AP, I am sorry I cannot remember its far gone lol, maybe Anxiously Spiral.

10. Yeah, I have been dealing with FA to no avail. When its triggered, it attacks me fast and hard until I cannot breathe. I want to sabotage everything and run.

11. Lucky me, I accidentally found out about Bottom up therapy. I’m on my very first step to learn about it. Have been using Polyvagal yawning method 2 times to calm my FA down and it worked in under 5 fucking minutes. Yes CBT worked like a charm for my AP, but it doesn’t do shit for my FA.

Happy healing, I’ll update more.

❤️

[welikeimagines-andfandoms]

Hi, I hope you doing good. Can i have a matchup for LOTR and/or HOBBIT, Marvel please 💐 Firstly English not my first language. I'm autistic. I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy chubby cheeks. I have braces. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. My eyebrows are constantly furrowed. Also I'm 172 cm. I'm Libra. If you interested, my mbti Infp and my enneagram 5w4. I always have poker face. I'm very outspoken, stubborn. I always doing my job alone. I find it difficult to express my feelings and prefer to isolate myself. My best feature is that I know a little about everything, I always surprise people. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, scary, quiet, unapproachable and distant, mature. But at heart I'm compassionate and helpful, works for the good of people. And they often think I can't speak and I'm deaf but I'm not. People say I'm extremely chaste. When I enter an environment, I listen to what people say and get to know them well, I decide if there is anyone worth talking to. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, sarcastic, resourceful and knowledgeable. I am usually a rebellious person. I am the person who stands against injustices and lies in an environment. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. Actually i like to help everyone and it works automatically without me noticing. I will help anyone by giving my all. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, politics, history, fashion. I like to visit second-hand and antique markets. I'm someone who doesn't like to waste money but cares about clothing. I always wear my headphones and listen to music, i listen every genre. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints or all black. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. And I don't believe in love. If I'm going to be with someone, I'll be happy if we have respect, compassion, and loyalty to each other. It is enough that we are in harmony with each other. If I am with someone, I am clearly their mother.-🧠

I ship you with…

Pippin

✨ Giving you your own little corner for you to read in peace

✨ Adventurous little picnics together

✨ Decorating your hair with beautiful flowers from around The Shire

✨ Getting you pretty Hobbit dresses to fit your gorgeous frame

✨ Being there for each other to talk whenever you need

✨ Playing around but always being able to rein him in

✨ Quiet together time

✨ Being the only one to keep your crazy hobbit in check

Kili

✨ Having fun climbing trees together to be able to get away from everything

✨ Horse/pony rides together

✨ Giving you a found family with the dwarves and they all love you

✨ Gifting you pretty gifts just for you

✨ Leaving and sending each other love letters

✨ Laying together in the sun to just have quiet time

✨ Not being afraid of you and being able to bring out your sweet side, looking like a black cat and golden retriever together

✨ Deep conversations together

Steve

✨ Collecting records together

✨ Buying you fresh flowers everyday

✨ Reading together

✨ Loves seeing you in gorgeous vintage style pastel dresses

✨ Drawing with one another

✨ Hikes together

✨ Seperate together time

✨ Finding quiet cafes to take you to