#I am both proud of that but also terrified that that is where my art skills have all gone

[thedeitychildren]

So I was gonna say she was my favorite character but I did just meet Auru soooooooo

I love her so much. She's so pathetic. She can't pull off a performance to save her life. I hope she never changes and continues to insult people while being the most failgirl ever.

[cwritesforfun]

Art Donaldson x Fem!Reader: In Love

Y/N = Your Name

*** I do not own the Challengers characters or plot or anything from the movie ***

Masterlist

Y/N’s POV

You play tennis at Stanford and it’s great. You got a full-ride scholarship to play. You study management with a focus on Human Resources as well. It’s interesting to you.

You were Tashi Duncan's designated partner for practice until she got injured. She knocked on your door one late night and told you to win it all for her since she couldn't. It was intense, but you thanked her for her words. Once Tashi got injured, you were suddenly the one everyone watched on and off the court. It was terrifying because, until this point, you didn't even know if you wanted to play professionally. This changed everything and you were determined to make everyone proud.

You're sitting in the dining hall with your chicken wrap reading when you hear, "Hey Y/N. Could I join you for lunch?" You see Art Donaldson standing there smiling with his food and you say, "Sure, Art. Please sit." He smiles at you before sitting down and says, "So uh the College Championships are this weekend, are you nervous?" You answer, "Of course, why wouldn't I be? We all thought it would be Tashi taking the win and now all eyes are on me. I want to make everyone proud. It's nerve-wracking." He replies, "But you also have to make yourself proud in the process or it's not worth it." You nod and reply, "I know, but I think this season has just been very crazy and it hasn't set in for me, I still feel like this isn't my real life. Are you excited for the Championships?" He nods and answers, "I am, but I'm nervous. I know I've been improving a lot this year, but there's always room to grow." You reply, "On your backhand for example?" His eyes widen and he asks, "Are you serious?" You answer, "Yeah... if you want, we can practice together. I could use the extra practice." He replies, "Then you're on, Y/N."

You fall into an easy conversation with Art before exchanging numbers. You both practice together and it goes really well.

On the way to the Championships, you slide into your seat on the team bus and look out the window. You hear Art ask, "Hey, is this seat taken?" You shake your head and you reply, "Please join me." Art smiles and says, "I think you'll kill it today. I hope you know that I'm proud of you. I've seen how far you've come from the beginning to get to where we are now. You've come so far and grown into an amazing player. Not that you weren't before, but uh... everyone can always improve." You laugh and reply, "Thanks, Art. You know you have really pretty eyes." His face blushes bright pink and you ask, "Omg, are you blushing? That's so cute." He replies, "I think you're really cute and pretty too, for the record." You smile.

Art cheers loudly for you when you win your first match and even more when you win the Women's College Tennis Championship. The game ended and you could not be more shocked. You ran to hug your friends including, Art. They were all so excited for you. You all celebrate at the winner's party. Art even dances with you and makes sure you eat + drink lots of water. He's so sweet.

You and Art go on your first date then you go on weekly dates... you also practice together when you can.

You graduate college and you go professional in tennis. You call Art all the time and you try to visit him at least once a month or every two months depending on both of your schedules. You're both still happy and you realize you love him. You've fallen so in love with Art and you need to tell him. You plan out a practice schedule with your Coach and you start your drive to see him.

You arrive on campus and call Tashi who tells you that Art is headed to the dining hall for lunch right now. You park off campus since it's free and you run to the dining hall. You notice Art ordering food so you slide into the booth where you two first hit it off. It quickly became your booth together every time you ate together at the dining hall last year. You watch Art turn around, do a double take, and then run with his food to the booth. He sets his food down before you stand and hug him. He presses a kiss to the side of your head and says, "Oh I've missed you so much. I can't believe you're real and here. Wait why are you here?" He pulls away and you answer, "I missed you and needed to see you. I wanted to tell you something." He asks, "What's up? Should I be worried? Usually needing to talk is bad." You answer, "No, it's not bad. I just wanted to tell you that I love you. Yeah, I love Art Donaldson. It's okay if you can't say it back yet, but I wanted you to know it." He smiles widely and exclaims, "Baby of course I love you back." You smile and you both kiss. He then asks, "Do you want something to eat? I can grab you the chicken wrap that you love from here. It will only take a minute." You nod and answer, "Pretty please, that sounds great." He kisses you on the side of the head again before going to grab you food.

You drive to Art's apartment after lunch and you show him your practice schedule. You decide to go with Art to practice tomorrow to surprise the teams. You want to see your old Coach and old team. You missed their energy and support.

As you lay in bed, Art exclaims, "I haven't been sleeping as well without you. I need your arms cuddling me to sleep." You ask, "Is that your way of asking if I want to cuddle?" He shrugs and says, "Please." You laugh and you wrap your arms around him. He rests his head next to yours and asks, "How did you know you loved me?" You answer, "Umm I've been falling in love with you the whole time we've been dating, but I realized I loved you like yesterday. I knew when you were texting me checking in with how I was and how attentive you were during our calls. I knew I needed to tell you in person because I missed you too." He replies, "I'm really glad you came to visit me. I've missed you so much. How long can you stay?" You answer, "I'm all yours for one week, baby." He smiles and you see him blushing. You ask, "When did you know you loved me?" He answers, "This is kind of embarrassing, but I've always fallen in love very fast. I started falling for you as soon as you told me that my eyes were pretty before the college championships you won." You smile and reply, "I remember that. It was so cute. I really wanted to tell you that I liked you right then, but I didn't know if would mess with our minds before the matches." He replies, "I would've dedicated the match to you and asked you out right then if you had. I really liked you after our first conversation." You reply, "I really liked you too. I thought you were into Tashi at first, which is why I also didn't say something sooner." He replies, "My Tashi phase was very short compared to my Y/N phase. I think I'll forever be in my Y/N phase." You reply, "Good to know. Good to know. I'm in my Art Donaldson forever phase too." He leans up and kisses you.

Art goes professional and graduates within the next year. You both move in together and try to attend as many matches as you can in the same tournaments. You support each other publicly and it gains a lot of attention from brands. You become a brand ambassador for a sportswear brand and a dress brand. It's very exciting for you. Life is good.

Art supports you when you quit tennis 3 years later ... when he asks why, you have to tell him that you're pregnant... he starts crying happy tears.

You start a job at a management agency and you use your time off to attend some of Art's matches. He is excited for you to be working and he treats you like a Princess anytime he's around you. You find out you're having a girl and he helps you design the bedroom.

You're both currently visiting Stanford ... Art wouldn't tell you why. It was weird. He just told you to request time off for 3 days and you both drove to Stanford. You walk into the dining hall and you see flowers on the table you both used to sit at. Art picks them up and exclaims, "Y/N, this table is where we both started liking each other and where we both said I love you for the first time. I felt it was the only place to do this... Y/N I've loved you for 5 years and I want more of them with you. With you and our future baby girl by my side, I know I can do anything. You make me feel loved and understood. You radiate such joy and positivity that I adore. I guess what I'm trying to say is..." He kneels on the ground and asks, "Y/N, will you marry me?" You feel the tears on your face and smile. He's literally perfect. You exclaim, "Yes I'll marry you, Art." You both kiss.

You get married at a courthouse on one of your free weekends because Art said he couldn't wait to be with you forever. Your family was sad but also so happy. You reassured them that you'd have a fun summer gathering with both families to celebrate.

....................

BRB...writing some for Patrick and Tashi too... maybe more Art... let me know... I can tag you, lmk that too... teehee thanks for reading

Masterlist

[neil-gaiman]

Hey there!

This comes out of nowhere for the both of us, but I felt the need to write to you.

I don't 100% remember how and where I first encountered your works, but I remember being drawn to them, first because I love Norse Mythology (both the book and the real thing) and then because I just really really liked them.

Then, I heard good things about The Sandman Audiodramas, downloaded them, and subsequently fell in love with them as well, anticipating every new Act and bothering my friends about it. I couldn't really put my finger on what it was, but in retrospect, I was clearly drawn to the gender aspects of it all. Then the Netflix show was released and I found myself obsessed with Desire. First I justified it with Mason Alexander Park being sooooo pretty (which is true) and with me just liking them as a character (which is also true), but I think there might be something more.

And today, I was at an art gallery and I realized that what I feel when I look at Desire is the same feeling I got back when I was consuming queer media before I had realized I was bisexual and I got so scared and at first I didn't want it to be true. Even now I am terrified because I don't know how to tell my mom and I don't know if non binary identities are legaly regognized where I live, and I am even scared to tell irl people that I want to go by they/them in addition she/her. I don't know where to go from here, which is why I came here.

TL;DR: Congratulations on being the first person I come out to as possibly nonbinary! Love your work bye!!

I'm proud of you. You'll be fine!

[titleknown]

HELLOWEEN #14: XMECHANE

-MANGINIX is a Lesser Carnifex of hell, with 14 sites of operation and 28 varieities of sausage to his name. He may teach the art of the finding and preparation of meats rare and unnatural, and may provide spices that alter the body and mind or to transform enemies into discrete forms of sustenance. He appears as a great carrion heap in the shape of a man with a handsome human face, holding a great butcher's cleaver-

...And here we reach a point where the Last Testament is far out of date, which is a feeling I am more than depressingly familiar with in my own recordings. For, Hell too changes as our own societies do; though perhaps more slowly due to the semi-immortality of its inhabitants, and the former Manginix is no exception.

Manginix is at this current moment one of the most terrifying things in Hell: A true believer. He speaks of his old life with a bitter contempt, even as both records and Giobella's testament show that he enjoyed his work and was quite good at it, and was even one of those rare showers of true compassion on occasion.

But compassion is not a world I would describe with his current state, not after walking through his factory, a place of war machines and cybernetic limbs birthed from twitching steel wombs, of pipes like sclerotic veins and furnaces like bleeding lungs, a place of where demon and soul and machine blur into a form of life hostile to all but itself.

He speaks of his old life as a former, dull dream, that he was one of the few demons who saw the speed and efficiency of the machines which now have taken up half his body, evangelizing the powers of speed and and creation. He was very proud, almost like a disciple of The Anti-Sun describing being "born again," as he delved into his discovery of the strange enigmatic machines manifesting in the higher circles, and how only he was the only one able to hear what they told him, what he'd known all along about his body. 

He was suspiciously cagey about what happened to his crew however, and he also says that he views Hell as undermechanized due to their lack of understanding of the glory of mechanization, which having walked through the dark satanic mills that reach even to the Giants' Well and beneath the waters of Bloody Mary, horrors untold yet still less hideous than his own, I find that difficult to take as true.

More likely, I suspect and Giobella does as well, that the machines from which his design draws are not from Hell. For, there are powers in the multiverse far more terrible than hell. 

There is a Machine at the corners of the cosmos, a Machine ever-churning that heaven fears. The oil of worlds devoured runs through its veins, the thoughts of trillions stolen run through its mindless mind. It exists to consume and grow and consume and grow again. And in the heartbeat of that factory I heard the sound of it's soul.

When I obliquely mentioned this, offhand from carelessness, he... froze for a second. Then he emitted a high-pitched screeching sound and attempted to turn my pages into cinders with the cannon upon his arm for several seconds. Then he resumed speaking as if there were no conflict at all, ignoring the smoking holes in his grand edifice.

I've seen that behavior before. I know who he really believes in.

-Xavier X. Xolomon , Monsterologist and Understudy to The Librarian Of Babel

So, when starting this project I knew I wanted to do a demon that was half-and-half flesh-and-technology, evoking Doom. The inspiration there's probably more obvious in the head, which I made because I wanted to blend both halves, and that was an obvious way to do it. And yes, I was thinking of that one Doom 3 demon in the back of my mind, that too.

The idea for them being secretly an agent of The Machine, a nasty faction from my work y'all might be familiar with, followed logically from trying to think about this guy's hook. Because like, there's a reason Heaven considers The Machine far more of a threat than Hell, and it does speak to Hell's poorly organized state that it was able to slip in so easily.

Also, I am still proud (perhaps more than I should be) of making the Goetia-type entry out-of-date in universe, I came up with that on the spot.

As per usual the whole descriptions, designs, ectcetera from this project are free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY 4.0 license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!

[pascalsbby]

Oh Kat, let me start with I love you. I love you deeply and desperately for giving us Carnal.. the same goes for TDAHB. There appears to be no end in sight for how much this grows with each lyrical masterpiece I read and reread. How do I even start to compliment my favorite series and such a ethereal writer. Nothing I say can do either justice. But I am going to try.

The thing about it is that I not only relate to Birdie but you write in such a way that I also relate to this completely feral Joel.. the mental torment and torture they both go through is so palpable. You do such a beautiful job of bringing dark desires to life. It all feels so real. Something (everything) about Birdie is so deeply personal to me somehow. Like sure some of the details are not my exact lived experience (hitting close tho) but who she is at her core speaks to my entire being. I love her and want to hold her and never leave.

The dialogue, the set up, the internal monologue, real, real, real. Your style of writing gives some of the most visceral imageries I have ever experienced while reading.

I repeat almost every single line, paragraph over and over while reading. Letting the words roll around in my mouth and mind. I love the way they sound, feel and taste on my tongue. It is so poetic and deeply moving. My brain and body respond to your art in a way that has me on my knees for you, truly. It is such a hauntingly beautiful experience to read you work.

Thank you 💓

a gift for you "the warm, guts and roaring blood of me"

Sincerely, Carnal Mary 🫠

Mary, I love you back. Deeply. Here is my attempt at expressing what all of your love has given me.

I always sit and think about what I want to say, for far too long. Not because of any other reason besides the one where I want you/every who has commented and shown love, to feel how grateful I am for your feelings and thoughts. “I hope that they know when I say thank you I really mean: YOU’RE PROUD OF ME? YOU LISTENED AND LIKE WHAT YOU HEARD? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME?” Being seen and feeling heard feels good. It’s an understanding that I haven’t encountered too often. You make me feel seen, heard, understood, listened to. 

I haven’t written before this, in a really long time. I haven’t painted in a long time, either. Sometimes I think of high school me– she was familiar with far too much, far too soon, yet still believed in some sort of magic that is hard to pull from now. I’m terrified at the pace it's retreating, but it resurfaces every once in a while. It feels like an innate overflowing. The kind of warmth you can only get from sitting directly underneath the sun’s eyeline. I feel like that whenever I'm thinking/writing Birdie. She is a thousand different versions of me and you, of them, of him, whoever. But in this story, she is paid attention to… hated, discarded, loved; even in the name of love/lust/want/yearning. Yet she isn't shamed for any of it here. I’ve felt the overflowing the most when writing this, and even more so when reading what people (you) think about it, how it makes you feel, what you think about when reading it, too. 

Whenever I sit down and write, sometimes it hurts and I can’t get it out. Other times it feels like a warm hug. Regardless, I feel like I dug the heaviness out of my chest and sat it beside me for a while. This is the calm that I would sit on my bedroom floor and cry for at 14. This silence can’t be as loud as the deafening pull of someone else's forced anger/sadness/despair. This is mine, and yours, and whoever reads it and feels it in their chest, too. To hold the warmth, guts, and roaring blood of you is a privilege. Thank you for sharing your poetry with me.

Love forever n' ever,

Kat

[dalishthunder]

Happy valentine's! It's me smile anon :]

It's been a really really long while and I planned on replying much sooner but in short: college life and depression. I'm not back to full power yet, but getting there and I absolutely had to leave a message on valentine's day since I missed new years.

I've been around since the GEO days and I've even interacted before, just never left anything that indicated I'm the same person hehe. That fic and universe will always have a special place in my heart. I binged the whole thing in one day when it was one chapter away from being finished and I laughed and I cried and the ending left me warm and satisfied despite not being into cronus at all. I've read that fic entirely for the humor, the emotions, the dynamic between two characters you've beautifully constructed (and made me gain a new appreciation for, cronus-wise. still a goober, but your take really fleshed him out), and for the background characters who got their own depth and interiority that it made the story's universe come alive. It's one fic that really touched me and I think even affected the way I approach my own creative projects. And then I proceeded to scour your blog for every other thing you've written and have been hiding in your (tumblr) backyard, occasionally whispering 'yippie' ever since lol

Anyway back to what we're both here for, GoG:

ABQKDHWLQ2HEOFUALXHXKCHSKXHICIEKSUCIDOLWIEFOIFIFIFSHQKSHXKSHSKXJ

READER GOT TO WEAR A CAPE AND A MASK AND BE COOL AND BE TERRIFIED!!!!!! I N E E D TO DRAW THAT AS SOON AS I'M OVER MY ART BLOCK

READER GOT TO (ATTEMPT) KILLING SOMEONE ("INDIRECTLY") :D!!! I was wondering when it will be coming to this and yup. Here it is. With Ramattra basically going "Point and I'll kill them" as a show of trust/respect lmao. I am really excited to see how this plays out, if there will be any casualties on their side. How that would make them feel. If it would be difficult seeing themself the same way again after asking for something like that even knowing the person they ordered killing wouldn't think twice about the suffering they'd inflicted. I'm also worried about what will happen when Talon figures out their real identity...

This project started as a two parter and look where we are now. I'd leave a longer more in depth comment but my brain is pretty fried rn ashsh. Just wanted to let you know I'm still here finding joy and comfort in your writing, and thank you for sharing it this valentine since we're celebrating the love and all that :3 Hope you have a good day today!

SMILE ANON MY BELOVED!!!!

Happy Valentines Day!!! Oh my god thank you for sticking around so long! And I'm so glad you enjoyed GEO enough to stay for the ride ;u;

writing GEO was honestly such a huge emotional experience for me beginning to end. It's... one of those ones that will probably stay with me in my heart forever because it was the first big thing I wrote in... a good 9-10 years, and it was filled with a lot of heart (not that my other stuff isn't, I do pour my heart and soul into my other works, but GEO was special to me yknow?) So I'm really glad that you enjoyed it so much

And that's so touching to hear that it's kind of changed the way you view your creative endeavors!!!! At least I hope it's in a good way haha ASLDKJFASLKDFASDFSDF

AUUUGHGHGHOOGHGHH IF YOU DRAW THAT I WILL BE FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT OH MY GOD

And yeah baby's first murder... Ramattra is so proud

But in all seriousness there's gonna be a lot of emotions in the next chapter and I'm so fucking pumped for it... (if my hands and brain would cooperate and type)

I hope you also have a wonderful day!

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 5: Saturday Activities

Mmmmm my feet hurt so bad.

No Cozytober today because I can only write so may fluffy little scenes in a row, or so I would have everyone believe.

Also I am so freaking tired.

Went for a coupe hours in the early afternoon to look at art. I usually go for basically the whole day so this was definitely the abridged version, but I still got to at least glance at everything. I spoke to one of the artists, who was very nice—he thought I was perhaps an artist based on how I was looking at his art, which is not true, but very flattering!! I don’t know anything about what I’m looking at, but I like looking at it, is all.

Then home, time for a shower, and then out with K and her husband to amusement park: Halloween edition. I have been wanting to go for a long while but was nervous in part because I wasn’t sure if this was the right sort of scary for me, but it was. I had a great time. They’re both very funny and we joked a lot. The Halloween decorations were creepy and the whole place, as ever, surreal. I didn’t think the scare actors were too scary (though I was more wary of the people who were NOT scare actors but still wanted to scare people—stop working for free lol also I don’t trust you).

I went on one ride (not a coaster) and it was on the line for me and my tolerance. In other words, just when I thought perhaps I would die, it stopped. But most of what we did was go to the scary mazes, or honestly wait in line for the scary mazes, because those lines were ridiculous. I did think it was worth it, though. We went to 3/5. The diner I liked the least because I think I was under the impression it would be… like a weird 50s diner, but mostly it was ‘the food here is people and you are in the back rooms where they are chopped up and made into stew’ and I really don’t like medical horror/body horror. I’m proud of myself for making it through. Also the people behind me kept on Scooby-Doo screaming, which was like…it was almost in theme with the general ‘constant screaming’ sound track, but not QUITE. Because Scooby-Doo.

In the middle, ranking-wise, was the voodoo one. We did that during the day and it was the first one I’d ever been in. I liked it but I think…I just didn’t know what to expect, so I was mostly learning the concept of the maze. They are very creepy and they do make you feel like you’re in this constant tense place the whole time—but the thing is they’re basically just long jump scares, where you’re either being jumped or anticipating it at any time, and they just happen to take place in very elaborately created rooms, and I would have loved to look at the rooms and get a better sense of them but I couldn’t really stop ever. So that seems sort of a waste in a way. After that first time, I knew that would be the case and was more prepared, but a major feeling in that first one was ‘wait what though?’

And my favorite was the clowns. We waited sooooo long for the clowns. And I didn’t think I’d be that into it, but K and J knew one of the performers (his sister) so we had to go. But I liked it so much. First it was properly long, so it felt worth the line. And it was just… it was so creepy. It was so elaborate. The beginning felt like being in a Ligotti story. I could sort of get the ‘plot’ of it just by walking through and I liked attempting to discern the lore. One clown followed us for kind of a while and talked to us and I, a silly person, didn’t realize until she identified K by name that it was her sister-in-law. Also I swear at one point, I saw a clown face on one of the decorations that was the same as the clown from Are You Afraid of the Dark, and if this is not true I don’t want to know, because I like this idea. It seems plausible that one or more of the designers could be in their 30s and think to do that.

Other spooky things that occurred and scared me: stray bubbles got in my face; bug flew at my face; uneven ground almost tripped me up. Very terrifying place, obviously!!

We finished up by going on the train. The Christmas train is quite long and its purpose is to pass by the various lights; it’s like a little show. This train is just a train, not the spooky equivalent. But I do like trains. Plus they’re always a little spooky because Grabinski.

Then we still had to get to the parking lot and from there back home… I didn’t get back through the door until nearly 11 and now I am so tired, so out of it. I just need to eat a little and brush my teeth. I hope I have enough drive tomorrow to do all the laundry, which is the current plan.

[lokittystuckinatree]

LCU Rewatch: Ragnarok Edition

My previously undying passion for MCU Loki has been waning lately. The Loki Series better bring it back or else…I’ll cry or something

No amount of words could describe how much I adore this movie, so my notes will be brief (I lied)

I will say they often took the humor too far for sincerity, mischaracterized Loki frequently, and made Thor too silly at times. This movie still hits different though

Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin is still one of the best soundtrack choices in movie history

If I wrote for Marvel I’d have introduced Amora in Thor the Dark World, had her present for Ragnarok, and given she and Loki an enemies/ lovers dynamic. I still would have introduced Sylvie as the love interest for TVA Loki, because it would be fucking hilarious if he managed to get with both Enchantresses in different timelines. Bonus points if Sylvie and Amora meet, and Amora chases Sylvie around with a knife (accusing her of stealing her Enchantress gig) so TVA Loki tries to help Sylvie by chasing Amora around with a knife, which prompts Sacred Timeline Loki to chase TVA Loki with a knife in the hopes of helping Amora. (Thor is in the background, crying.)

The way Thor places his hammer on enemies to immobilize them hahfjgkfkh

I headcanon that Loki doesn’t exclusively write and/or put on plays about himself, but Thor happened to show up on one such day where a play about Loki was being performed. Loki’s quite narcissistic and self obsessed, but it’s not his defining character trait. Knowing Loki’s character voice and sense of humor, (“little blue baby icicle”) he absolutely wrote that play himself too. (Also because I doubt Odin was able to hear “I didn’t do it for him” which confirmed Thor’s suspicions, too)

Loki pouted when Thor said he looked greasy and weaseley awww you’re gorgeous to meeeee

Loki focused on arts and infrastructure and decreased military intervention and imperialism…good bean. I guess they were trying to paint him as lazy or vain, but I just saw character growth. They went from attempting to genocide their own species and take over the world to at least claiming “it is best to respect our neighbors’ freedom” I’m so proud of them

No one in the Theatre troupe was even slightly surprised Loki was pretending to be Odin. They were probably the first to notice lmao.

Loki’s character voice is off in this movie, but it got better again in the Series

I have a gut instinct Loki is a passionate tea drinker. I just know she inhales the stuff. But he would also love coffee. So basically they would just like caffeine

Odin’s death makes me tear up, but also see ya sucker good riddance!

Loki upon meeting Hela, probably: am I adopted or not????? Are you my mother????

Hela is fucking terrifying, as usual

If a variant of Hela can be Odin’s kid instead of Loki’s, and a variant of Gwen Stacy can become Spider Gwen, then why is it so hard to understand that a variant of Loki can become a variant of Sylvie Lushton?

Hi Fandral! Hi Volstagg! Bye Fandral. Bye Volstagg.

BRUNHILDE HELLO my king

Can’t get over how Loki accidentally saved Sif’s life by sending her on that mission

“It is a he?” Listen I know it doesn’t actually mean anything but I have decided Grandmaster asks that because Loki’s genderfluid ass showed up first

Still can’t decide whether or not Grandmaster and Loki’s ‘relationship’ was consensual, which typically means consent was dubious at best

Not Hela eying the tesseract lol. Loki is absolutely genetically related to her

“Our sister” OUR awwww. The scene where Loki’s illusion appears to Thor is actually pretty in character and well written. Loki isn’t the star of the show this movie, but he still draws attention

Next season I want to see him become as magically powerful as Hela, not exaggerating

“A hammer pulled you off?…intimate relationship with this hammer” excuse me while I choke on my drink because I forgot this scene existed

HEY THERE HULK

I want to hold Loki and kiss Loki and tell Loki everything’s ok soooo bad right now, is that weird? No it’s not, we’re legally married in my head, cringe I know.

HI HEIMDALL!! (you were hinted before but hello!)

Im so torn about Thor’s character development. On one hand, his “I don’t need a hammer, my power and strength come from within” arc is fascinating and profound, but his character growth was ruined and ignored later…

I like Hulk and Thor’s friendship. Theyre both angry, aggressive people who punch their problems out, so they understand each other, but it’s that same similarity that causes conflict between them. (And then there’s Loki, who thinks he’s not hot headed but obviously is, and always at the worst times. Loki’s anger is quieter, deeper, subtler, but it’s always bubbling, one crisis away from boiling over and causing irreparable damage. However, he also learns to put that anger to use “trust my rage”) Hulk is like fire, Thor is like fire, Loki is like water. Tempestuous and changeable.

Poor Bruce

Aaahhhhh yes, possibly *the* sexiest fight scene in cinematic history 😏 followed by one of the most jawdroppingly beautiful sequences of Cinematography. If you catch me rewinding every 3 seconds, no you didn’t

“I don’t want to fight your sister” you already fought his other sibling, my dude

Sylvie and Valkyrie would be the most chaotic and feral team to grace a screen since…ever. Bonus if they fight each other at some point, because the homoeroticism would be incalculable

“It varies from moment to moment” now THAT that is peak Loki

I keep forgetting Thor is like…actually smart (sometimes lol)

“I’m asking for safe passage through the anus” A. Omg Loki we know you’re gay chill B. I want to know who pitched that line and what everyone else’s reaction was to hearing it

What in the frick did they do to Loki? He’s so unlike himself it’s giving uncanny valley. Mom come pick me up I’m scared

I do not buy that Loki actually genuinely tried to kill Thor before the events of Thor 1. Bluffs, threats, rambunctious mischief? Absolutely. But in my opinion, to imply that Loki regularly tried to kill Thor as a child? blatantly goes against her previous characterization. They really love painting him as a cold blooded serial killer don’t they? 😐 (he’s not a psychopath, and I’m sick of writers, other characters, and even his own fans treating him that way)

Stopped there. Took a break. Back now.

even in the MCU Loki sees his life as a tragic story to be told. Writes a play about it, refers to himself as a monster children are told about at night, notes the “poeticism” of Odin’s death potentially splitting he and Thor apart (especially because Frigga’s death brought them together) etc. This motif is taken further in the series, and needless to say, he’s literally the God of Stories in the comics.

Holy Ravioli the scene before “let’s do get help” is depressingly good. “Do you truly think so little of me?” “Loki, I thought the world of you.” Loki’s visible heartbreak when Thor agrees they should never see each other again? How the fuck did we go from “Loki tries to kill Thor once a week lol” to this…This movie is such a mixed bag when it comes to Loki’s characterization. Almost feels like there are two different versions of Loki in the writers room.

Thor more or less says “you’re too much for me” and Loki hears “I’m not enough for you”

“We are not doing get help” this bitch Loki, YEET

Can we talk about this scene? Either Loki planned to betray Thor prior and was heartbroken because his fears that Thor no longer wanted him around were confirmed, confirming his decision, or he hoped that Thor would tell him to stay and was heartbroken because he doesn’t. Either way, Loki has just suffered what he sees as a rejection or abandonment, and that is what triggers or justifies his backstabbing behavior. BPD much?

“Life is about change, but you just want to stay the same” the meta level of Loki, a dynamic, tempestuous, mercurial, fluid character being told that his chaos is becoming predictable and he doesn’t truly want to change??? That’s good writing there.

I also suspect WHY he doesn’t want to change. toxic patterns of betraying and pushing people away to avoid/punish rejection and that hesitance to trust or get emotionally attached can feel like the only way to keep yourself safe, and you can get addicted to isolation and disappointment to the point where tragedy becomes your identity. Building a new identity is scary.

“You’ll always be the god of mischief, but you could be more!” “I’m the god of mischief, always have been, always will be” “You can be anything, anyone you want to be!” and so on

Loki’s an introverted loner who craves being the center of attention in any social situation. That’s a difficult mix to reconcile (I know too well) Also being a natural leader and original thinker yet not being taken seriously by anyone…I also get that

He’s so cute with his hair tussled hflfjdfkgkljhk

It feels like someone is missing from this movie, and at first I thought Jane, then had the startling realization that it could be Amora

Sylvie hiding from the TVA in Ragnarok would make a great episode of What If

As a writer, I still can’t decide if Thor should have become king or not…

The dynamic between Thor and Hela is intriguing, tragic, and narratively rich. If Loki and Hela are parallels, Hela and Thor are foils.

The only thing that could have made Loki’s Dramatic Entrance better would be if Lady Gaga started blaring.

I still get chills when Loki smiles and Thor reappears and Immigrant Song starts playing

Loki and Sylvie are frost giants but are also associated with fire, as the Norse God Loki sometimes is. One of my favorite details.

Things I’ve decided happen off screen: Thor and Loki hug, Loki survives Thanos, etc

Everything was fine nothing bad happened they all lived happily ever after the end

[havethetouch]

I have an interesting relationship with spiders bc they kinda spook me and kinda do not I am very fascinated with them too but it's also kinda depending on what kind of spider and where the spider is in relation to me.

Storytime I guess...

I used to be way more terrified of them as a kid, mostly bc my one cousin was horrified by them and we had this shed in my great grandmothers garden and my other cousin said a huge spider lives in there and my (terrified) cousin wanted me (not yet afraid of spiders) to check it out if she was there bc if she is there she is not in the house and then it's okay but she needed to know and yes there was a big spider and my cousin startled so hard she pushed me into the shed and the door closed; it was dark and I was very aware that I had seen a ginormous spider just a few seconds ago and my cousin ran away screaming so I screamed too and tried to escape the shed and the spider and it was a whole thing and this is where it kinda started that I had a great deal more fear for them than before.

But the fascination was also still there like.. one time a huge wasp spider dropped out of the lettuce my mother was preparing (also in the garden of my great grandmother) and my dad trapped it under a glass and she was so pretty but scary and big to me and she also did this thing were she pinned herself upside down on the upturned bottom of the glass and just hung there and the moment my dad picked up the glass she dropped and tried to book it and she tried to fool us again after so that was kinda neat.

We also had a huge cross spider (again, great grandmas garden) in the thujas along the pathway to the back of the house and she was a work of art if ya ask me, also huge and old? Idk how old those even get to be but there was just this huge ass impressive net in the middle of the thuja row and always the same huge cross spider in the middle for years while we grew up, accepting humble offerings of grasshoppers that sometimes tried to evade our feet and jumped right in there on accident so we had an understanding with the cross spider is what I'm saying.

So like.. my fear was mostly reserved for the spiders that change location those huge black and quickly skittering things yannow? Stationary spiders or spiders behind glass or on pictures were less of a fright to me. I got over most of my fears when I met my best friend like.. half a lifetime ago. Because she is the kind of afraid of spiders person that will cry and almost throw up if subjected to a picture of a spider let alone if she even thinks a spider is near. Like this was full blown phobia, if you unfocused your eyes and stared at a wall too hard when in thought she would jump up in fright if she noticed because she assumed you are staring at maybe a spider on the wall kind of phobia. The if she sees a spider and looses the spider you gotta tear apart the room to find the spider or else she cannot go in the room for hours kind of phobia. She and I became roomates when we both moved out at 19 so someone had to take care of spiders and it had to be me, obviously. I trapped and removed so many spiders in those 13 years of living together I kinda chilled out about them again.

But I am also that kind of person who drops fears when in the vicinity of someone more afraid than me when I care about them deeply so that how it even worked out.

And lo and behold, I am proud to say I helped my friend with her fears as well. Nowadays she is willing to look at spiders trapped under glass (from a distance of course and provided they are not too big) but hey, progress, I am soo proud of her. I once trapped a spider that was like.. very bright and kinda white? But she had dots on her underside that really looked like a ":)" and I was thrilled and like "look! LOOK she has a smiley face on her belly" and she wanted to see and she was super twitchy and ready to jump back at a moments notice but like she trusted me to have the spider secure so she did look closer for that one spider and like I said, super proud of her.

But I will never forget that one time I had an epic bathroom battle with a idk.. it skittered around like a cellar spider but it was milky white and fast and jumped around a lot it was an agile thing and it was like 3am in the morning and my bf wanted to use the toilet but nah there was this spider and she was not happy about the light suddenly being turned on and my bf helpfully closed the door behind me after screaming for me so imagine me like.. once again trapped in a room with a big spider and this one was mean about it and I just woke up so it was an uneven match. And like.. no joke, fast fucker she was. It took me half and hour to trap her and then shuffle out of the flat to let her free and pray she would not turn around and attempt to jump into my face (again, bc she tried a couple of times in the bathroom I almost brained myself on the sink) so yeah.. triumph and I almost just cut part of my finger off the next day at work but eh. She was a beast I tell ya. Never forgotten her.

Anyway long story short I am not that afraid anymore and kinda like spiders but I still have some reservations about them scuttling around in my house especially if I loose sight of them bc my body says "gotta find and trap it" because that is so deeply ingrained in me by now bc of my bf. The spiders in webs get a pass from me bc those at least have the decency to not creep up on me.

Though I also must say I had one glorious encounter in my new home with a cross spider who, for some reason, decided the doorway of my mudroom was perfect to build her net in. Which would not have been soo much of a problem if I had know she was there when I tried to walk through in the dark and walked into her. She was not small and probably not very happy about being on my face suddenly. Neither was I. I basically flung the poor thing into my thujas. I saw her skitter away so she was thankfully fine but man I was not bc yeah.. so I am 90% cool with spiders again, like I said but like on my face bro I have some reservations and that is one of them rahhh.

But I survived.

send help I trapped a spider with a glass on my carpet and went to the kitchen to get something to seal the glass in order to take her outside but guess what she got out.

So now I not only saw a huge and kinda fast spider but I also lost said huge and fast spider and I'm like fdfdsfsdjfjfdhdfhQ_Q

[rollercoasterwords]

Yes yes yes to all of your points about jegulus and the capitalism of fandom as a whole. I find the whole thing so interesting in a mildly terrifying way lmao

One thing I’ve noticed with jegulus on TikTok that I’ve never really registered seeing with another ship (tho I could obviously be wrong, thx algorithm) is that people advertise their fics in a way I’ve not really seen before in forms of countdowns and trailers pre posting. And yes be proud of what you’ve created, I am the biggest supporter of tooting your own horn but sometimes it feels a little… off to me. Like almost like people are viewing fic writing as becoming ‘content creators’ and trying to go viral with these pieces of work in the same way that art and TikToks goes viral. And with the marauders and jegulus in particular being such a TikTok heavy fandom (as you pointed out in your essay) maybe that’s why it’s more apparent, because a lot more people interacting with this subsection of the fandom have been ‘raised’ (for lack of a better word) to view the internet as a place where the point is to go viral and become well known, so to create art for the sake of creation is an entirely alien concept. So why would you not make a trailer for your story and post it half a dozen times to TikTok?

And then pair that with jegulus having fewer works than bigger ships which means that the ‘bigger’ fics are known and read by the majority, which ultimately means that people have a better chance of going ‘viral’ if they post a story with that pairing compared to wolfstar where the competition is higher.

I’ve never really kept a track of these fics that are advertised and hyped up before chapters are posted, but I would be interested in how many are abandoned if and when the author doesn’t get a barrage of kudos and comments, and the subsequent serotonin boost with it.

Sorry this ask doesn’t really have much of a point or direction, (and I’m not even sure if it even made much sense ☠️) it’s just something I’ve been noticing with increasing frequency recently and I was wondering if you had any thoughts, as you write your points and arguments so well!!

anon i literally want to kiss u on the mouth u brought up sooooo many good points!! yes i have so so so many thoughts about this maybe i need to make a separate post bc like....ive talked so much about the way that like. people interact as readers with the like tiktok/social media/influencer mindset but ive definitely seen it crop up with people who write fanfic too. and the thing is bc there aren't really cleanly delineated boundaries between readers + writers of fanfic (like....most of the writers are also readers, and many of the readers are also writers) it definitely comes from both sides.

i think for anyone who has like. internalized this mentality that art must be validated by an audience to be worthwhile and that you can only be Seen by turning urself into content for consumption it's very easy to approach fanfiction with a mindset stuck in a consumer economy. and like. that isn't a moral failing, because we are literally all being conditioned to think of any creative pursuit as something that is only worthwhile if it can be turned into Profitable Content. but i DO think it's important to recognize when we're falling into that mindset, because fanfiction is so antithetical to it. and also just like....i don't think any of these people who are approaching fanfiction with this underlying idea that they need to curate an audience for validation will be able to find deep or lasting joy, because if your primary motivation in writing is just to get as many eyes on it as possible, then like....idk. it will never be enough. there will always be someone with a more popular story, with more people reading it.

and like. i actually mentioned this in my little tiktokification essay that escaped confinement, and i got a bunch of responses of people in the tags or reblogs going "there is NOTHING WRONG with wanting to share your work and wanting people to read it!!!" and i was like...i didn't say there was anything wrong with it?? i said if your primary motivation in creating art is just to get as many eyes on it as possible, you probably will not find lasting joy in the creation of that art. so :/

anyway now i think i want to write another essay so thank u for that anon lmao

[swordheld]

how can I learn to live with myself? I'm afraid of allowing myself to be happy, because my happiness feels like a crime. I don't want to be a bad person, don't want to let anyone down, but I also don't want to pretend anymore. Only, I've been pretending for so long that I don't know who I really am. All my life, the only two options have been to be a disappointment or to be someone others are proud of- being myself has always been a terrifying concept that didn't fit between those two extremes. I feel so overwhelmingly frustrated by it all.

this is a question that is very difficult to answer  –  only because it is something you create for yourself. you are so wondrous in your own version of being that you are the only one capable of creating and answer for yourself.

the secret? that’s, maybe surprisingly, the fun part.

first and foremost: i believe that it is suffice to say that i’m not an expert, and like the other ask, all of this is my own opinion and i am not a licensed therapist. there are many types of certified resources you are able to access in learning about more certified and targeted specifies within therapy settings. even if you cannot afford it at the moment, there are many free resources out there that are a search away (like this one that shows the details of a few in particular!) that will give you a good place to start.

it’s important to know that you are not alone in your struggle; learning how to live is a lifelong experience (funnily enough). something that has helped me is knowing that we are infinitely adaptable and change-oriented beings, meaning who we are today is not necessarily who we have to be tomorrow. even if you make mistakes, you can learn and move past them, become better and kinder in the long run. 

just because you feel this way now, does not mean it will be like this forever.

here is the wonderful part, love: you get to find out now. there is an endless kind of possibility ahead of you; for happiness, for kindness, for wonder. you have everywhere ahead of you, a whole world’s worth of horderve trays to choose from. the best part? you can put things back if you don’t like it, and choose another. you are not stuck in anything, you always have a choice, even when it doesn’t feel like it, and maybe even most importantly then, too. 

you get to learn who you are now, and work towards who you want to be in the future. it can change at any point, and isn’t that amazing? you could be brand new at the end of the day, in both little and big ways. you are capable of infinite possibilities, and it may be a bit overwhelming to think about in that way, so here are some small integrations you might find helpful:

my advice for beginning? find a middle ground. you’ve been pulled between these two extremes for so long that it might feel strange to do anything else. at the start, see if others can compromise with you, especially as you learn that it’s okay to disappoint people and be proud of yourself in their stead. it won’t be easy at first, but it’ll be worth it, and there is a certain kind of bravery in that.

in time with yourself, creating new habits that help you re-focus on prioritizing your happiness over the expectations of others is something that is a wonderful place to begin, especially when it comes to daily activities. try a nice 1:1 ratio for the first few times, where for each thing you do to make others happy, do something for yourself, and then add more and more as the days go, as you begin to enjoy the habits you’re creating, as you learn you do not always have to do something for others to deserve something for yourself.

there’s so much out there waiting for you. favourite albums, new art, new friends to meet who will love you for you, and so, so much more. in the meantime, in the getting-there space of it all, there is something very important to do: have fun. take silly personality quizzes. watch movies and keep a log of what you like and what you could do without. put together a mindmap of what you like and what you believe and what you want. you will become clearer to yourself, like this; finding all the little things that make you, you.

and in time, with each day coming and going and all of your activities and experiences and feelings you collect and learn, you will choose who you become, like this: an endless assortment of possibilities. 

your happiness is a joy. it’s a gift you get from the world, the way it feels like the whole sky within you, wind and light and every star. it's elation you get to hold inside of you until it bursts, overflows, and it spills out. there is so much joy in just simply being that it will fill your days with wonderful things. 

go for walks, read books, watch shows, buy things to run your fingers over the surface and marvel in the fact that we can create, and that you can too. there is nothing more admirable that we are able to create more than ourselves. and you’re going to be amazing, love, i just know it.

wishing you all my best, that your frustration eases, and that joy is an easier thing for you to hold very, very soon.  💛

[sweetbunnykook]

Hey so I know you’ve just come back from a long break and you have so so many asks to get through but I just wanted to say that your work is actually changing my life.

So a few months ago at work, we got this temporarily promoted coworker who only slotted in to my level because we were so understaffed. I’m nice to the kid because he seems shy with the other women in my department, and we’re closest in age and both fluent in English. He warms up quickly and then the weirdest thing happens. We pass by each other and he flashes a smile and smt in me is reminded of OY JK. Not kook himself, but specifically OY jk. At this point he hasn’t done anything alarming, but there’s a gut alarm going off in me and I cannot shake the image of OY jk out. After that, I’m still friendly, but I stay on high alert, dropping discouraging hints when I can, and avoiding hanging out with him alone.

Then, like two days later, things start escalating like crazy. He finds my number from the company payroll and texts me constantly, expecting me to respond immediately and accusing me of being angry at him when I don’t respond for ten minutes. He offers to do things for me but then turns around and guilt trips me with it, and gets crazy mood swings whenever he senses me “rejecting” him in any way. Ofc I’m terrified and frustrated, but I also want to stay professional and give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s just immature and lonely. I also just tend to take the path of least resistance, so normally I would just pretend everything’s fine and placate him more to avoid upsetting him.

BUT because he set off some OY alarm in me, I was like “ok I have to shut this shit down fast before I get in the habit of shifting my boundaries for him.” And persisted with setting boundaries and letting my friends know what was going on, so that if anything happened, police would know where to search. I managed to keep things professional while never being somewhere alone with him, and blocked his ass fast after his time in our department was over.

I know that when we explore taboo/toxic/dubcon/noncon themes in literature/art it can be hard to toe that line of exploration and condoning that behavior. Most women who write about and consume these themes have been victimized by it before, so I always saw it as a way to heal and take control back, to spread awareness and highlight these red flags while being completely safe. Still, there’s a stigma about all the media in these genres encouraging and condoning toxic, abusive behavior. Even for authors who know they are intending the exact opposite, with creative work, there’s always going to be some anxiety about not being able to control how others interpret your work and your intentions. So I just wanted to let you know that your work—how vividly you’re able to capture OY jk and the others in all their flaws, idiosyncrasies, subtle and overt manipulations, intentions, and mindsets—has given me the ability to instinctively spot red flags much quicker, and the determination to not let myself get trapped in them again.

I still love your fucked up characters and I’ll still joke about wanting an attentive bf like OY jk on hard days, but I know better irl. I just thought it might be worth something to you to know that you’re one of the authors who can explore these themes in a way that keeps their readers safer, instead of grooming them to fall for these traps. I seriously don’t know when this super oddly specific OY jk alert system got installed in me, but I’m very thankful for it. Thanks for keeping me safe, and I hope the people you choose to keep in your life are doing the same for you ❤️

I have read this ask in my inbox many times and I can finally answer. Thank you so much for supporting OY and also for recognizing that my stories are purely fantasy. In real life, these situations are extremely dangerous to the point that it can become often times life-threatening. I can't say enough how proud I am of you for recognizing the red flags and cutting this man off immediately. This is the kind of impact every writer hopes to have on their readers.

Thank you so much for sharing, for your insight, and your understanding of how dark stories are useful for women like us. I hope you are staying safe!

[ivyaugustetc]

the dead poets at hogwarts: a headcanon from hell

@aedan-mills @charlie-dalton-simp @pretentious-strikes YOU ENCOURAGED THIS BEHAVIOR SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. also i love you a lot but THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

also @aedan-mills i found out that some of the wand stuff is related to their birthdays and i am much too lazy to look all that up and figure it all out, but anyone else is welcome to lmao. sorry to disappoint but alas it's summer and i don't want to research that much. but other than that, please listen to me flex my extensive knowledge on harry potter :)

neil (half blood): i'm sorry,,,, can you say gryffindor? this boy would get up there and in a second the sorting hat would have him all figured out: big dreams with the will to pursue them, but not ambitious enough to step over others to achieve said dreams? sounds like a gryffindor to me. i just know he'd thrive at hogwarts, probably going on to play quidditch (def a chaser) and would excel in charms class. as far as pets go, i feel like he'd stay simple and classy with a chill barn owl he'd name after a famous broadway actor. he would kind of be a mix of james and remus, in which he's wild and crazy but still manages to get good grades. the teachers love him simply because they don't know much about him outside of class. he would absolutely LOVE going to hogsmeade and going batshit crazy at zonko's and honeydukes. he'd have a whole phase where he gets addicted to licorice wands and everyone else thinks they're disgusting but he simply cannot buy enough of them. he'd play a bunch of zonko tricks on the rest of the poets, saving the most harsh for charlie and the most wholesome for todd <3

todd (muggle born): ugh see i can see him being both a hufflepuff and a ravenclaw, but my heart says hufflepuff so i'm gonna go with that. he would absolutely HATE the sorting ceremony with a burning passion. getting up in front of everybody only to have a hat judge u??? no thanks. HAHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM ON A BROOM. i can't either because he would simply never get on one, probably referring to them as "flying death traps" more often than not. "hey todd, you think about joining quidditch?" "no thanks, i'd rather keep my limbs intact ;)". but he would love muggle studies a lot, even if the teacher was boring as hell. snape would scare the hell out of him for sure, resulting in his lowest class being potions. he would excel in classes that are more learning out of the book rather than in practice. for a pet, he'd want something that could not possibly turn on him and would just be sweet and loving, so ima give him a toad :) he'd name it something fancy and british, like nigel or sumn. and because of nigel, he'd love chocolate frogs because hey they're twins!!

fanon knox (pure blood): hogwarts fuck boy. okay well maybe not f boy but like...his favorite part is the fact that this is a co-ed school rather than an all-boys school so he can spy on both genders equally yknow. hmm i get hufflepuff vibes from him because he's a big romantic, sucker for cute relationships, etc. he would enjoy whichever class his current crush is in, although I feel like he'd do well with classes that involved spells and wand work mostly lmao. he'd want a really fucking cute pet, so i'd give him a kneazle (it's like a cat but a bit more lion like). he'd give it a strong sounding name, something german idk. but he'd love the shit out of that kneazle, i can tell you that much. i feel like he'd try out for quidditch his first few years, not make it on, and then make it on to the team around fourth year and somehow end up team captain in seventh (and that proves kids, that you too can have a redemption arc in sports). as far as candy goes, ima say he likes the super sour candy like acid pops n shit. like i feel like the others would dare him to each as much sour candy as he can and then he wouldn't be able to taste for a week. but he'd think it was worth it :)

cameron (muggle born): good god this boy just wants to learn. magic just fascinates him, what with growing up in a big muggle family (bestie he is the weasleys if they were all type a). he's a ravenclaw, no questions asked. he would love classes involving preciseness and attention, things like potions and transfiguration. i feel like he'd have a cute, stable relationship along the way ofc because he deserves so much love and happiness and UGH he's a baby. he'd stick with a lil ginger cat, naming it after one of the famous wizards he's read about. he would love spending christmas at the school and going places when the ground are nearly empty, enjoying the scenery. for candy, he'd go plain and simple with chocolate frogs. can't go wrong with those. he'd still have fun with his friends, but he'd skip a lot of parties for some studying (don't judge, i do it too lmao). would not play quidditch but would enjoy it, end of story.

charlie (pure blood): slytherin. don't dispute it. think the weasley twins but even more flirtatious. he would be a regular at every single party that happened, flirting with the guys and gals shamelessly and drinking butterbeer like it was water. look me in the eye and tell me he would not absolutely fucking HATE GILDEROY LOCKHART WITH EVER FIBER OF HIS BEING. he'd do spot-on impersonations of him though. teacher's worst enemy. like when he walks into class on the first day, every teacher collectively mutters "bloody hell not this kid again". asks the most incredibly stupid questions ("okay but is there a spell to turn my eyebrows green? just the eyebrows though, not my hair"). he would be the most aggressive beater on the slytherin team, though he would never deliberately try to hit someone, just distract the shit out of them ("put the fear of god in them and fate will do the rest"). he'd want a loud, aggressive pet but he'd probably end up with a mean cat that hisses at everyone. he'd give it the most adorable name that just. does not fit the personality. something like priscilla. for candy, he'd take his chance with bertie botts' every flavour beans and just roll with the punches. he's chaotic like that.

pitts (half blood): ASTRONOMY IS HIS JAM. he fucking loves that class. he tutors the entire ravenclaw house in that class. he's the guy that little first years who are terrified of the class go to when they're completely lost and don't understand what's going on. besides that, i feel like he'd just be everyone's cool older brother yknow? like he'd be in charge of helping all the first years figure out where stuff is and giving them advice to help them and stuff. he would be a die-hard quidditch fan although he would not play the sport (maybe recreationally on the weekends and holidays and stuff, but the fact that it's so fucking dangerous just does not appeal to him). he'd like the candy that does tricks and stuff, like fizzing whizbees and stuff. he gives me charlie weasley vibes, where he's hardcore in certain areas (in his case, astronomy) and just flipping chill in anything else. cool older brother vibes, man. it fits.

meeks (half blood): i've said it once and i'll say it again: nonproblematic ginger dumbledore. also a hufflepuff <3 this dude just wants to fucking coast along, getting good grades and not participating in the dumb shit that could probably get him killed (even though he would in a heartbeat if his friends were in danger. duh). he'd be a teacher's favorite, probably having conversations with his favorite teachers during free time. okay ik this isn't technically at school, but i swear to god he would be dumbledore one day. like he would be the chill ass headmaster who gets shit done while also being very la di da life is nice flowers are pretty type of person. that being said, his favorite candy is and has been lemon drops ever since dumbledore got him addicted to them. his favorite classes would be potions (he'd surprisingly get along well with snape) and he'd just be great and mixing shit right and just knowing how much of stuff to add in ("how much powdered root do i add?" "about three and a half shakes." "that's not a measurement, meeks." "*shrug* it works"). he'd stick with his small friend group and love them to death, but he'd be a friend to all really. he'll help anyone that comes to him asking for help with homework (and though he won't admit it, he gets super prideful when it's someone a few years ahead of him).

stick (muggle born): harry potter if harry potter could've been more harry potter. like he would just be a part of everything and end up being part of some prophecy that demands he'd save the world and at first he'd be like HEY i'm just a small boy but then he'd grit his teeth and finesse the shit out of this preventing the end of days stuff. he'd definitely be a gryffindor, and fucking proud of it. he'd be the seeker on the quidditch team because he is so short and small and yeah he'd fucking kill it there. he'd kind of be the shy one no one expected much from, but once he starts absolutely wrecking the shit out of the other houses' quidditch teams, he'd become sorta popular? like people would invite him to parties and stuff and he's too nice to say no, but he'd mostly just hang around the outskirts, saying hi to the other poets if he saw them and mostly talking to chris and ginny (danburry, not weasley). he'd like defense against the dark arts and minerva mcgongiall would become his literal mother i can't explain it. he'd have an owl as a pet and treat it like it was his own child, telling it thank you every time it brought his mail or took his mail. as for candy, he'd like drooble's bubble gum because the bubbles are all magic and shit and i just feel like that would make him so happy <3

chris (pure blood): the older sister lesbian <3 she'd be a sweet hufflepuff who would be friends with everyone while also being the greatest socialite the school has ever seen. you know that party that practically the entire school attended and talked about for months on end? she planned that shit. she'd be like pitts in the respect that she'd help all the first years find their way in the school and in life in general. she's just such a warm and kind person that everyone would love her. she's have a little pink pygmy puff to match ginny's purple one, and she'd give it such a perfect, human name like lila or something. she'd be great at muggle studies and all the teachers would love her. also every one is so invested in her relationship with ginny it's adorable. he favorite candy is acid pops even though they make her eyes water like crazy. she'd make pretty good grades, every once in a while getting one slightly lower than she'd expected, but she always manages to bring them up to her satisfactory level :) she would not play quidditch, but she would go all out to support ginny, even though they're in different houses. that's what i call love, baby.

ginny (half blood): the mom lesbian <3 she's a ravenclaw and also one of the sweetest people in the whole school. while chris helps other with the social aspect, ginny will help anyone in any subject they need help with (she and meeks are a help duo on this). she's quieter and less social than chris, but she's one of the best chasers the ravenclaw quidditch team has ever seen. she'd end up team captain by fifth of sixth year. she'd be like oliver wood in that she is sO invested in the team's success that at sometimes she'll go a bit crazy, but chris is always there to help her put things back into perspective <3. she'd make stellar grades of course, being good friends with all of her teachers. her favorite candy would be the sweetest things like fairy floss. as previously stated, she'd have a purple pygmy puff to match chris's pink one, and she'd also give it an adorable human name like lisa or something. ginny's just sweet to everyone, especially neil and his friends.

I DID IT. IT TOOK FOREVER AND A FEW HAIL MARYS BUT I DID IT. enjoy besties <3 love u all

[flight-of-fantasy]

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Tagged by @princess-of-the-worlds

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

5 works

Hm I don’t think I posted 5 works because I write things and then don’t post them because I get anxious lol. But I did post 4 this year, which is huge for me! Here we go:

1.  Greet the Dawn

Really proud of this one. Wrote this for the Merlin Library Drabbles for Dopamine series. I just really enjoy writing from Gwen’s POV. I definitely wanna write more slice-of-life Merlin fics

Summary: Merlin is terribly nervous about the transition from servant to court sorcerer, and Gwen knows a thing or two about transitioning from a servant to a member of the court. Luckily, she has a remedy. She began it when she became Queen, and she's more than happy to share her secret with Merlin.

2. Heart & Soul

This one is in progress and I was and still am terrified of posting it lol. It’s Mergwenthur, where Arthur accidentally kisses Merlin and freaks out (as does Merlin). He confesses to Gwen and turns out Gwen has seen this coming for years. Cue healthy poly talks and Gwen and Merlin both helping Arthur through his bi awakening. Nothing can truly come between these three, I am convinced. They are unbreakable. 

3. A Merfolk-Scale Earring

Merthur & Merman!Merlin fic told in the style of a fairytale (omniscient narrator). Based on a prompt channel discussion in the Merlin Library. I cannot resist merpeople, I’ve been obsessed with mermaids since childhood.

Summary:  It's a known fact that soon-to-be Pirate King Arthur Pendragon wears a single blue merfolk scale as an earring. It's the only proof he has that he was saved by a merperson in the storm that killed his mother, even as his father blames Neptune for her death. Little does Arthur know, the very same merman that saved him has just waltzed onto his ship as the new cabin boy, still getting used to his new spindly legs

4. When Dragons Call

This one hasn’t gotten much attention but I had a blast writing it! For Mergwenthur week--a rewrite of the Dragon’s Call but Gwen is a knight/the Princess after winning a tournament to be heir, Arthur is a sorcerer come from Ealdor after his mother Ygraine fled Camelot under mysterious circumstances, and Merlin is the castle gardener with his mother Hunith as the blacksmith. I wasn’t gonna write this as I drew the role swaps and was just gonna keep it as art, but I couldn’t resist!

4 WIPs 

I only have 3 (that I’ve started, lots of ideas). Here we go:

Children of Destiny

My nearing-400K canon-compliant Merlin Season 6 fic (gen, Merthur vibes in spots). I’ve been working on it for 7 years now. It’s historically accurate while covering Arthur’s return in modern day, modern UK politics, Celtic gods and goddesses, obscure legends, things generally going to shit--but it also covers Gwen’s solo rule starting in the year 922 AD and is a mirror of historical politics. Gwen is a replacement of King Hywel the Good. Merlin is her penteulu (basically a Welsh version of a king’s advisor), and I’m covering the struggles of bringing magic back to Camelot. It also covers much of the time between the fall of Camelot and modern day for Merlin���s life (read: angsty). I have historically-accurate BBC Merlin maps I’ve been making and a wiki I’m building entirely for the project of aligning the show with history. It’s been a wild ride so far! A great way to practice my research chops and prepare for my PhD. Much more to go. It’s basically my magnum opus and I’m scared no one will read it or like it but I’m trying to get over that fear lol

2. From Dusk Til Dawn

Can’t talk about it because it’s my Big Bang fic for this year! All I can say is that it’s a bit like Servant of Two Masters but reversed--it starts out with fun curse shenanigans and then gets super plotty and angsty. It’s also a Disir rewrite, but set in S3. That’s all I’ll say!

3. What I Must Do

After a lot of waffling I’ve decided to do a sequel to my fic What I’d Have Done. I never thought it would get so popular and never really considered a sequel, but now I have a lot of ideas... so why not?? Instead of focusing on a Merlin magic reveal like What I’d Have Done, the sequel will focus on the Morgana magic reveal and her arc... especially as she and Morgause now know who Emrys is.

Summary:   Arthur thought nothing would shock him more than the revelation that Merlin, someone he thought he knew inside and out, possessed magic. But as he looked into the eyes of the woman he’d learnt to be his sister, his own blood, he was frozen in place at the magic there. A gold shimmering in her irises, and a deep, burning hatred for their father that could not be satiated. 

"I must do this, Arthur," Morgana hissed at him, and in that moment, Arthur no longer recognised her. "And I will not rest until my dagger is in his heart." 

The day Arthur had learnt of Merlin’s magic, his whole world had shifted—in the end, for the betterment of both himself and his kingdom. But the day he discovered his sister’s true nature, his world shifted again, and this time for the worse. 

3 Writing Improvements

Ooo I like this question

1. Confidence to share. I write a lot and talk a lot about writing, but rarely share it. I get extremely anxious about what people will think of it, or that I might get hate. The internet can be the wild west and I used to be a lot more fearless about putting my work out there. Less so now. Posting 4 works in 2022 and finishing my giant fic in 2021 after a 6 year hiatus (school lol) was a huge step for me

2. Beginnings/Opening Lines. Never been good at them. I write out of order so tend to write the ending first. Beginnings I struggle with, and especially with my original works, where you can’t just jump in (so much easier with fic!). I’m very proud of my opening line of the novel I’m working on now (a Peter Pan retelling with Norse mythology). It’s taken me about 9 rewrites to get the first chapter right, but I feel so much better now that I’ve trimmed the fat and now open with a strong narrative question. It’s especially important because it may be all an agent, editor, or potential reader reads!

First line if anyone is curious:  It was at 35,000 feet in the air that Erin first saw the flying wolf.

3. Outlining Outlining is my ish. I live and die by it. I don’t religiously stick to outlines, but I swear by their effectiveness, especially in screenwriting. In 2022 I think I improved my plotting skills a lot, particularly with pacing and figuring out how to make the plot flow correctly/how to split things up so that when I sit down to write I don’t wanna bang my head against a wall. My outline for Children of Destiny is now done and it is a 33K-word-long outline lol. I’m very proud of it. My goal for 2023 is to finish outlining all my projects--5 original novels, 1 screenplay, 1 TV pilot, 5 fics. 

2 Writing Resolutions

1. Finish shit. I don’t even care what shit. Just finish it.

2. Post shit. Submit shit. Yeah. And try not to have anxiety attacks over it. It’s just fiction. Breathe, Sarah

1 Favorite Line

Maybe this one, from Children of Destiny, referring to prophecies:  They rained down seeds of hope into Merlin’s hands, granting him a purpose only to abandon him in nourishing it.

tagging!! @aziraphalesbookkeeper @paintedpigeon1 @zaharya @inkmyth @thenerdyindividual

[faevorite-main-blog]

TOP 5 OF 2020

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Thank you so much to @dragontamerdame for the tag! This is seriously such a fun challenge and I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on 2020. This year has definitely been a year to remember. I was able to finally return to tumblr and create new artworks that let me express myself in a way I haven’t in years. I met so many new friends and got to enjoy so many new conversations. Thank you so much everyone for the love you have given me and the endless support. I don’t know where I’d be without you.

Number One: Sun and Moon

This artwork was drawn to participate in @yemiello​ ‘s DTIYS challenge. I’m so incredibly proud of how it turned out. It was the start of a new era of art for me where I stopped focusing on the characters only and started implementing both color schemes and complimentary colors. This expanded into a new series (classical painting inspired drarry) that has meant so much to me already as an artist. It has been such a long time since I felt like what I was creating could actually be considered ‘art’ to myself. This artwork was the start of pushing myself to new limits and letting myself grow and it means so much to me. It was also the first work that I made that I looked back on and thought “Wow, I feel like I created something to be proud of today.”

Number Two: Freefall This was the artwork I made directly after “Sun and Moon” I was experimenting with a new perspective for this one, something I’d never done before and it was both terrifying and exhilarating. I’ve never tried to draw a birds eye view angle before and I wasn’t sure that I could pull it off. I also implemented movement for the first time in my art. The motion blur on the sides of their bodies! At first I was worried that it had been too much and over took the whole painting. After encouragement from @l0vegl0wsinthedark​ and @lazywonderlvnd​ I got the courage to post. I’ve never gone back!! I’m so immensely proud of the growth that this art piece brought me. 

Number Three: Something Borrowed

This was the artwork that started my new series!!! (Something Borrowed) When I was drawing it I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to happen. Notice the hair on Harry’s arm?! Like! My first time truly experimenting with body hair. I was nervous that it wouldn’t turn out the way I wanted it to but looking back on it I’m so glad I took the risk. This was another experiment in new art techniques. At first the canvas started up close with them falling in the lower third. I eventually decided I didn’t like that and added extra ground to the bottom and some grass as foreground. LIFE CHANGING. Now I’m obsessed with adding foreground to everything. Who would’ve thought?! Hahaha. I’m really proud of the detail on this drawing and the angle of Draco’s chest. I stared at him for way too long as I tried to decide if he looked anatomically correct.

Number Four: Something Taken

This was the second art installment in my “Something Borrowed” series. THE BACK MUSCLES ON THIS!!! I am so excited about. It took me way too long to get it right but when I did I could literally sob. I’ve always struggled with the anatomy of backs and the backs of arms. They never look like they do in my head and it takes so much time correcting what my brain does incorrectly. I was (and still am) still learning what ratio of linework to painting I like in my artwork. This drawing ended up with a good percentage of both and I honestly wish I could replicate it but I don’t think I ever could. Also werewolf Harry is my weakness.

Number Five: Herbology

This artwork is seriously one of my favorites. I’m especially proud of Draco’s feet and the angle of Harry’s abs. I have a hard time getting Harry’s nose to match how it appears in my brain and this is the closest his face has gotten to my head canon in a really long time. I struggle with Harry’s face so much. I’m really proud of how the foreground turned out in this, and the way the sunlight dapples across the top of the characters. IT TOOK ME SO FREAKING LONG TO FIGURE THAT STUFF OUT. SEriously. I see artists all the time do it almost effortlessly and holy crap it was freaking hard. I’m still not convinced it looks like light shining through trees but despite this I am still freaking proud. I’ve been waiting for years for an artwork where I could dabble in that lighting technique.

ANYWAYS. THANK YOU! So much for the tag! And thank you for reading through this whole monstrocity of a post. It’s so fun getting to look back on our lives and especially things we’re proud of. I TAG ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BE TAGGED. And I also tag @laurisophi​ @aminathescorpio​ @dewitty1​ @lazywonderlvnd​ @l0vegl0wsinthedark​ @polly-weasley​

[i-did-not-mean-to]

For the bingo card, how about Dori & Nori come to young Ori’s spelling contest or poem performance or something and being absolutely so proud of him!!!!

My dear friend (whom I love truly), I am sorry, but this turned out sadder than I thought...I don't even know if this even qualifies as fluff anymore...

Also...there's a tiny Easter-egg in the story, if you find it, let me know <3

Art by @estethell ❤️

Life is a poem that doesn't rhyme

Words: 1,6 k

Characters : Ori, Dori, Nori & OC

“Come on, little one,” Dori wrapped his broad hand around the tiny one stretched out hesitantly in front of a frail body.

Mari was too small, too dainty, too fragile for a dwarven maid, he knew, and that might have been the reason for her deep-felt friendship with his youngest brother.

As the only child given – and almost lost thrice – to her parents, she was their most precious jewel and Dori felt proud and honoured that they agreed to let her come to their house to sit with Ori. Both were good, studious children, which brought great satisfaction and pleasure to their parents and guardians.

“Want a piggyback ride?” Nori offered and the small girl nodded, her pitifully thin braids bobbing. They were late already, and Ori would be heartbroken if he could not find them in the audience for his reading.

“Are you excited?” Dori asked the girl as they trotted down to the great hall where Ori – their pride and joy – would be called upon to read some of the excellent poetry he had written; wise beyond his age, their youngest brother had a mind that never ceased to astonish and amaze them.

“Yes,” Mari replied in that soft, ethereal voice of a creature having breathed the air of the Halls of Waiting, “he is my best friend.”

There was no excitement or effervescent childishness in her tone though; she declared her allegiance to another subpar dwarven youngster with the sober objectivity of a universal truth.

"I'm sure he’ll be happy that you could join us today,” Dori went on, tugging her scarf a bit tighter around her neck to make sure that she wouldn’t catch a cold.

“I doubt that,” she smiled ever so softly, “Ori knows how much I’ve enjoyed his poetry the first twenty times he read it to me. He doesn’t need me to be there to know.”

Ah, so wise, Dori thought to himself, and yet so young and naïve still.

Of course, Mari was right, and a part of his brother would definitely have known that the absence of his best friend would be due to other duties or to her frail health, but that didn’t prevent or soothe the sting of disappointment upon realising that his favourite pair of eyes would not witness his moment of triumph.

There had been too few of those.

Guilt – hot and humiliating – washed through Dori’s heart; if only they had been richer, if only Nori had been a steadier supporter of the family, maybe Ori had not turned out so delicate that Dori was constantly afraid that a strong gust of wind would blow him away.

“Your approval means much to him,” he muttered under his breath, wondering if he and Nori did enough.

Did the boy know how proud they were of him? Was he aware that they were in speechless awe whenever they observed him shoot across and beyond the limits of their own intellect?

If only he had been a smarter dwarf, he might have understood his baby brother better.

So many regrets, so many ‘if only’s, so many ‘what if’s…and no way to remedy them; he was terrified to be a curse upon the one who was his truest blessing.

More often than not, he felt like a dumb housecat, pawing helplessly at the surface of a pond, unable to even fathom or imagine the underwater world in which his darling brother – like a turtle – was at home and at ease.

And just like that mysterious creature, Ori could exist on land – amongst people who found him strange for being so woefully maladapted – and he never complained or boasted about that other realm he shared with the likes of his little friend in secret.

“He might not be loved by many, but at least he’s truly loved by a few,” Mari nodded solemnly for she knew that whatever dimensions of love, loyalty, and devotion had been revealed to her thus far, they were candles burning in Ori’s honour.

May your heart be true, Dori thought, for Ori will need a friend like you.

As a creature meant to live for centuries, he knew – as well as Nori – that a true friend was a shield, a sword, a morsel of bread, and a cup of water when one was alone, naked, and bleeding at the bottom of one of life’s ravines.

Plucking the girl – oh, she was much too light and brittle in his hands – off Nori’s back, Dori guided her to the seats reserved for them and smiled when she smoothed first her hair and then her beautiful lavender dress before sitting down, her hands politely folded in her lap.

She was yet too young to decide if she would ever want to wed, but – knowing full well how selfish and devious such a thought was – Dori wondered if she would ever come to think of his brother as dams sometimes pondered male dwarves.

In their present state – and given the lack of potential both displayed – they would probably be blessed never to even consider that option; it was hard enough to find a partner if one was traditionally handsome and wealthy enough to support a family.

“Hush,” Mari whispered to nobody in particular as Ori stepped onto the small dais, his face aflush with nervous embarrassment.

As predicted, his eyes swept across the crowd until they came to rest on the faces of the people closest and dearest to his little, sensitive heart; the broad smile of recognition and gratefulness – a smile Dori cherished beyond everything in this world – rivalled the glare of the lanterns as his eyes lit up with joy.

Ori’s trembling voice vacillated like a flame in a draught but – after a few moments – he grounded himself, stubbornly brave little boy that he was, and read his heart-wrenching and utterly beautiful poetry with the natural rhythm and ease of a river racing the wind.

“That’s bloody good,” Nori whispered, earning a jab in the ribs by his brother who nodded at Mari sitting silent and entranced in her chair, her legs dangling in the air.

“It’s well paced.” Dori agreed then, pride swelling in his heart to the point where it choked his voice into a thin, tremulous whistle.

“It’s the rhythm of his heartbeat,” Mari commented, not taking her eyes off her friend of a single moment.

“What would you know?” Nori laughed good-humouredly.

“What do you mean? It’s the first thing you hear and – if you’re lucky indeed – it’s also the last. The steady beating of a drum that calls you home,” Mari replied, still not sparing a single side-glance for the stunned dwarf at her side.

Nori nodded slowly, meeting Dori’s eyes over Mari’s head; he could not understand where Ori took the talent, the inspiration, or even the words from but he was proud of their little one in such an unselfish way that he barely recognised the ebbing and flowing emotion, threatening to drown him, as his own.

Ori would make it out, Nori knew, he would grow beyond both him and Dori even if he never shot up another inch in his life; his warmth, his quiet courage, and that wickedly sharp mind of his would carry him further than he – himself – could even see.

Dori’s thoughts ran along similar lines indeed; sorrowful by nature, he was afraid of the day when Ori would leave for a place where he could not follow him anymore. He lived in constant terror of the moment when the strong moral compass and the iron determination of the pebble would set him on a path from which he wouldn’t ever return.

Not today though, Dori tried to remind himself, today, Ori was just a young poet, grinning at his brothers and his best friend over the beaded and braided heads of a nameless, faceless crowd. He was still their little pebble, their greatest treasure, their biggest achievement, and Dori could not have loved him more if he had been of his own seed.

When Ori finished, Nori clapped and hollered raucously – much to the amusement of Ori and the embarrassment of Dori – while Mari simply nodded slowly.

Not waiting for the accolades, Ori hopped off the dais and ran towards his family, jumping into Dori’s arms eagerly to be spun around.

Dori closed his eyes; this too would fade, soon, much too soon, Ori would be too big and too grown to ask to be held by his older brothers.

“Well done,” Mari slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled forth a slightly squashed honeyed cake, “I made them myself, they might not be good, but I’ve tried.”

“Oh Mari, did you rest enough?” Ori asked, taking the cake, and breaking it apart to share with both his brothers – who declined politely – and Mari who simply nibbled at her piece distractedly. “It’s really good, thank you!”

Ori blushed a little; his courage was called forth by necessity and urgent situations, but it abated as quickly as it arose and now, he felt slightly uncomfortable being the centre of attention.

“I’m proud of you kid,” Nori chuckled, patting the soft, silky hair of his youngest brother three times for good luck, “I hope you know that.”

Ori nodded shyly; yes, no matter how they fought and bickered between themselves, he had never doubted that his brothers were fond of him – even though he was kind of small and spindly still – and it was their love and support that gave him the strength to be brave.

“Thank you ever so much for coming,” he whispered and allowed a small smile to spread on his face as Mari handed the bigger part of her share of the cake back to him with a whispered promise that she still loved every single word of his poetry.

Life would be hard, Ori knew, for all of them because of different reasons; not today though, tonight, the world was perfect, and he was happy.

Does this qualify as fluff? I don't know...

I am sorry, if you hate it, please send another one and I'll try again :(