#I am ass posting in a very sophisticated way

[russell-crowe]

:)

[pooks]

back on my straw hat!Ichiji bullshit and i am cooking

here's some headcanons i've got;

headcanon number 1 imagine Classy Trio (Ichiji, Robin and Brook) just casually having tea and watching the usual Zoro and Sanji bickering/sparring session

Ichiji: I can't believe that my brother in law will be a ball of sentient moss. But as long as he makes my little brother happy.

and the kicker is that Robin and Brook just agrees (especially Brook, who probably the biggest ZoSan shipper XD). the classy trio is a very sophisticated group, they have teatime with biscuits and discuss various topics

no one understands how it works and no one bothers to. post-timeskip, they're the second strongest fighting group after the Monster Trio. in fact, during Wano Arc, Ichiji joins Robin and Brook to save Sanji from Black Maria (Ichiji is bi and demiromantic, so he's kinda immune to female enemies trying to seduce him. he's already given away his heart for Robin and Franky.)

second headcanon Ichiji reminding certain pirates of Red-Haired Shanks is a running gag. even better when poor Ichiji doesn't even know who the guy is.

the first time Luffy put his hat on Ichiji's head to comfort him (he had a bad mental health day and nearly resorted to self-harm), Luffy went still for a moment or two because he instantly got reminded of Shanks. Ichiji isn't complaining about the hug he got from his captain, but it was nice and a little confusing.

(then later at Loguetown, Buggy nearly flipped his shit because he thought Shanks came back to haunt his ass XD)

it went so far that Ichiji got called "Shanks" by some pirates who has met the guy and poor Ichiji is like "who?"

(once Ichiji gets to meet the actual guy, it's gonna such a spiderman meme)

headcanon 3 Ichiji canonically likes whiskey, but i decided to add rum to his favorite drinks. he drinks sometimes with Zoro, but is unable to outdrink him (he comes third in alcohol tolerance, behind Zoro and Nami). Ichiji likes rum because he believes "a real pirate should like rum"

post-WCI and he turns to alcohol to deal with it. he doesn't gave good trauma responses and it goes far enough to make Chopper worry for his health. enough that Nami threats to throw the rum overboard if he doesn't square up.

this prompts him to nearly fight Nami for the sake of rum

Ichiji: you would dare to challenge me?! Nami: bring it on, bitch boy!

Sanji puts an end to it by locking all alcohol behind five locks in the galley. he's the cook, after all, and the galley is his dominion. Zoro and Ichiji has to wait until dinner to get their sake resp. rum

headcanon four Ichiji is tall and very muscular in canon, but in this au, he's slightly different

he's still taller than Sanji and while he has a little more distinct muscular structure, he's also a little more slender. this is a side effect from starving on the rock with Sanji and Zeff, so it has affected him in his later years. he's not a buff hunk, but he's not a slender twink either (google the english diver Tom Daley, that's sorta his body physique).

Ichiji also have a more androgynous face and dresses himself in a non-binary way. this is the reason why Brook mistook him for a woman at their first meeting, but Ichiji set him straight (lmao) after that. he's aware that gender is fluid and isn't always strictly male or female.

post timeskip and he's more comfortable in who he is. he did a lot of soul-searching for the two years he trained on an unknown canyon island and officially comes out as bisexual, demiromantic and genderqueer. he still uses he/him pronouns since he feels most comfortable with them.

headcanon 5 Ichiji keeps Zeff on the loop of most things and he does it whenever he gets a chance. he has the dial number to the Baratie memorized in his head and he gets his chance whenever he comes across a den-den mushi (for public use, often found in most inns at the islands they dock)

he informs Zeff where they are, what kind of adventures they've had so far, how he and Sanji are doing and asks how things are at the Baratie. he's sorta like a "dutiful son" (he canonically are, but it's very debated if it's because of his modifications)

the relationship between Zeff and Ichiji is portraited in a more mature-ish way. Ichiji is the older son, so he knows and understands more while Sanji is a little more bratty.

the minute there's total radio silence from Ichiji during WCI and there's shady people around the Baratie, that's when Zeff knows something is wrong

headcanon 6 Ichiji has the worst potty mouth. we all know that Sanji is foul-mouthed, but Ichiji is worse.

believe me, when they grew up on the Baratie, Ichiji listened to the cooks around him swearing and cursing up to a storm in the kitchens. everyone thought that he didn't care, compared to Sanji who mimicked them constantly (and got a pegleg on his head). but now, Ichiji was quiet because he was learning and memorizing from his surroundings until he got old enough to swear casually.

Ichiji isn't allowed around Chopper when he's in a bad mood, because his curses are so crude that neither Zoro or Sanji wants the little doctor to learn that.

no, he doesn't care if he's a bad influence. Ichiji has always done whatever he wanted. XD

[sgiandubh]

Hello, good afternoon! Yesterday I read your post about James Morrison and I was thinking about the other fragments of himself that Sam eventually shows - a few hints here and there that he collects something, etc. Then I remembered the parts we've already seen of his house (the new one and the previous one) and I was wondering where these things are? There doesn't seem to be anything as delicate or sophisticated as these paintings. Could it be, just could it be, that those portions of his houses that he shows us are some kind of staged set?

Dear (returning) Greeting Anon,

I am very glad to see you back, always a pleasure, but just so you know: my James Morrison post is a shameful flop, because I was wrong and had to edit & explain. But you know, it's ultimately fine, because: a) it sparked comments & debate and b) I do hope it somehow helped to show that it could happen to anyone. And when it does, I think it's way worse (and toxic!) to play the ostrich game, than to step forward and openly own it (you'd need balls for it, though). One thing I am very sorry for: all those readers who never peruse the comments and take it as is from the people who share it first just took it for granted. Edits happen and they are sometimes (like yesterday) drastic.

That being said, along with my deepest apologies, onwards to your question. Yes, he showed us one of his James Morrison paintings and, unlike my idiotic speculation, that is a documented fact:

The painting very probably being Bergs, Otto Fiord (1992), from Morrison's Arctic cycle:

... and we even have a very personal, BTS photograph of it - fascinating, eh?

[Source: Apollo Magazine, March 2021: https://www.apollo-magazine.com/james-morrison-scottish-painter-film-review-anthony-baxter-bbc-iplayer/ - gracias a ti, siempre, ❤️]

We all know that his house is rather a big, sprawling affair. I don't think we ever saw anything he was not ready to show us with a very specific and calculated purpose in mind. And that purpose might just be to promote the idea of a rather dull non descript bachelor pad, filled with meh, neutral furniture, naive memorabilia and a haphazard assortment of books on a shelf, that tell us strictly nothing about the real S.

If anything, C's recording cupboard didn't seem to fare better. Same flair & inspiration, or rather lack thereof, that made all those rooms look like storage spaces for luxury nomads. That Mordor ass-kissing fan art and the church sketch seem way too much in your face to be credible, especially when compared with her Queen of the Arctic public, uxorial appearances. But what do I know, Greeting Anon? And perhaps not knowing is exactly what These Two really want. Her bookshelves were way more talkative - but then the idiots across the street immediately screeched it 'was staged' (as if there was an urgent need to stage a corridor!).

Life is always elsewhere and more interesting than on social media. And it is quite alright, Anon. Trust me - this story is not for us and not ours to tell.

[historia-vitae-magistras]

I think it might have been deleted with your old blog or buried somewhere but would you consider touching on Matthew having chronic anemia again? Idk I have chronic anemia and it's just weirdly comforting hearing your ideas for Matthew also suffering it

Oh man, yeah, I have thoughts. I just used this post to like brain dump 400 years of Matt meatsack headcanons so whoooo enjoy. Anemia was very common throughout history. Religious fasting, low meat consumption, famines, irregular food supply, blood loss, infection, cold exposure, lack of sunlight— you name it and it can cause anemia. I've got a friend who jokes that being anemic or vitamin deficient is just the Canadian default but to be fair its that isn't special or specifically Canadian. At least we get sun in summer. Sometimes. This got REALLY long like so long. I seriously did 400 years. asking me about the history of medicine basically makes me a word vomit machine. i am so sorry in advance.

I think about it as something that has often crept up on him throughout his life, like it will for most people at some point or another. It added a nice layer of misery too his existence. I don't think it was ever life threatening on its own but it did some damage over time or when combined with other things.

It's a reflection of carelessness if not neglect. I think he was often a healthy, happy child when someone gave a shit. Most of the people who did were his own, the few French Canadians. Occasionally Alfred, occasionally Alasdair, occasionally Francis, occasionally Arthur. These efforts were, however, mostly sporadic. Francois was desperate to squeeze out a profit, its often written that while France itself boomed, Quebec was a national embarrassment. When Matt and Quebec itself were failing, and they usually were, Francis left him to his own devices. Sometimes cared for sometimes not. This was the ancient regime, this era of intricate at and rococo and excess and high sophistication. Matt, a backwoods money sap was about as interesting as the smell of piss in Paris or Versailles. He didn't get hit, he got fed as well as anyone else, he tried to be useful. Here the anemia is seasonal. Shit food storage, lent eliminating what nutrition there was in the diet of the late winter, hard chores, cold weather. Late winter and early spring was always hard and I think it just hit him harder. It didn't matter though, being freezing tired and anxious because he's got one functioning blood-cell didn't matter if he had something to do.

It was really bad after the hand over. Years of hardship was crowned by the British and the French armies both burning Canadian crops and cutting off hunting fishing or any other method of obtaining food. Hauling canoes, marching. It wasn't uncommon for soldiers to just drop dead and I'm sure Matt did at some point.

The 15 years between the capitulation, the hand over and Alfred leaving were probably the best of Matt's life in some ways. He ate better under Arthur's hand. He didn't really get treated the same as Alfred but he ate as well and he was pitiful enough and Alasdair engaged enough he was only doing light, actually age appropriate chores, usually eating as much as he wanted and sleeping enough, usually snuggled up to Alfred's side. He started growing a little bit.

It didn't last. Enter another decade of war. An invasion of Quebec, being hauled up and down the American colonies as a paranoid Arthur loathed him for still holding affection for Alfred whiling counting on him to be disloyal and bail Alfred's ass out at least twice. No one pays attention to the quiet unassuming child always half out of sight so Matt got away with a lot. These years were hard when he was with Arthur. Shit food, not enough rest, abject emotional misery. He had it better than Alfred at least but thats not saying much. Shortly after the war turned south as the Americans slowly began to get the upper hand, Arthur dragged Matt with him. And the anemia contributed to the malaria and on a hot day he fainted, slid right out of the saddle and hit the ground. Arthur sent him north and didn't speak to him until Yorktown.

The years between Yorktown and New South Wales were pretty bad. The American revolution hadn't resolved the economic problems that Matt's acquisition had caused, there was no money to squeeze out of Canada, and the economy sucked. He was a part of the household. He did some chores, got fed two meals a day like everyone else, had somewhere to sleep. This is where I think a cycle kind of began. On the odd occassion someone was spending time with him, he got more or better food, affection, and with more energy he was bright and a bit less disappointing. Next to Alfred, everyone looks kind of dull but the cold, anxious lethargy of anemia made him look even worse. He's uninterested, doesn't initiate much, not very talkative, has to be forced out of bed. He seems lazy, stubborn, not particularly bright and that just adds to poor returns on any attention he ever does get. He feels like shit most of the time. The anemia doesn't help but he's just depressed in general. When Alasdair visits or someone acknowledges his existence and feeds him something with an actual vitamin in it, he has a little spirit in him again and got the cat for instance and Arthur gives him a whole 30 seconds of interest for the first time in probably a solid decade. He also fucked off back to Halifax without anyone noticing, working his way back on a ship and living pretty rough.

In a fit of frustration with how Matt only really seems to ever be happy when Alasdair is around, Arthur takes him to sea. Matt's a good sailor at first and Arthur is fairly pleased but long times at sea with shit food breaks down Matt's attention span, dropping those iron levels along with the vitamin c and everything else that plagued the average sailor. A vang line takes a chunk out of him and he gets knocked overboard in the process and Arthur dives in after him and kind of realizes, oh shit, thats the last kid he's got and even if he's pathetic he's better than nothing so Matt gets upgraded from a constantly damp hammock on the orlop deck to a fairly cosy cot in the captain's cabin. Matt receives a whole fuck given from Arthur, some decent food, heals up and its the perkiest Arthur's ever seen him. Instead of a dead-eyed pointless money suck, here's a bright, eager to please lad who hangs on Arthur's every word.

There are more wars with the French but Matt is loyal and by the very end of the century, the British royal family visits Canada and Queen Victoria's father actually took a French Canadian mistress iirc. Matt's growing a little, he's getting fed, he's getting attention. Arthur takes an interest, even lives with him sometimes, writes now and again. There are still some lean years, and he was really sick a few times in the late winter and early spring and once with cholera but its a lot better than it's ever been. He has another bad bout of it when Arthur throws him to Australia after the rebellion, shivering in the heat of the antipodean sun because he hasn't had a decent meal since he got on the ship six months ago. He was in bad shape if nothing next to Arthur when he earned his place back when he and Alfred bailed the imperial dipshit from the soup pot of HMS Terror. After that he's pretty good for a few years, living more like the son of an English country squire or whatever the fuck Arthur's pretending to be.

He doesn't have problems again until after he spends a few months with Alfred after Alfred got galloping consumption while burning the shit out of himself during Sherman's march to the sea. Alfred gets better, buts the lid on the whole Fenian thing and fucks off west. Matt's pretty healthy at this point, but spending a few months with a dying TB patient eventually leads to the inevitable and when the economy tanks just after confederation, its a whole ass free fall. He doesn't really mention it to anyone, but eventually he can't avoid Arthur's summons, dies on the old man's favourite sofa and they spend a lot of time at the sea side shoveling food at Matt until he doesn't look like a corpse. Things are good and stable for a decent period after that. He still has the odd small problem because he's slowly turning into a caffeine junky and eating with coffee and tea blocks iron consumption but mostly he's good. No major problems. He gets taller, things are going okay.

World War one he gets a nasty drop in iron every-time he's gassed, its fairly common and worsened existing issues. He does okay with the help of a lot of cocaine and coffee and tea until the kansas flu which can cause just all the anemia's just all of them. Not really unique to him but whoooo its a familiar feeling for Matt. It never really went completely away during the 20s or 30s. He was in pretty bad shape but he's kind of used to being in pretty bad shape by the great depression hits and the drop is bad but it isn't quite as catastrophic for him as it is Alfred.

World War Two has some rough moments, but in the grand scheme of things he's fine compared to the rest of the world. Post war goes pretty good. One short bout after Suez when he's pretty much exiled from the family and stops eating but Arthur gets a grip and he's good plus Jan's answer to most problems is calories so its pretty okay. Matt still doesn't know whats going on with that though.

It probably becomes the worst its ever been in the 70s and 80s as he and Jan drift, he has political issues at home, his foreign policy is increasingly isolated from the rest of the anglosphere, and he's doing a lot of drugs. Like a lot. Not eating in spurts. Not sleeping in spurts. He's careful enough it doesn't show but when things get so bumpy he starts going feral in the woods around this time it shows up in force and continues to be a problem when he's out there, when he's depressed, or just on some pretty intense green outs where he doesn't really pay attention to reality. Or he just doesn't give a shit. I feel like Zee only finally succeeded in getting him to do some blood work in the 2000s. Might have been when he had one of his depressive not really eating spurts, picked up something bad and was pretty helpless when the clock started to melt somewhere around 39 degrees. She took the opportunity to tap his veins like a maple to do a blood count lol the man is shocked when doing the bare minimum for his meatsack actually helps you know, keep him alive and healthy and not catastrophically depressed.

[thoughtsformtheuniverse]

tagged by @booksandchainmail to shuffle my general listening music and post the first 10 songs. I chose my 'music' playlist rather just my full library to avoid the two (2) podcast episodes and random audiobook chapters in there.

1. Songs for Lonely Giants by The Mountain Goats ⁃ I mean. it’s The Mountain Goats. it’s slow, it’s sad, it’s pretty weird. I found this one on a character playlist for Jack from E. Jade Lomax’s Beanstalk series (read it for free here!) it’s very good!

2. Moving On by Oysterband ⁃ not blue oyster cult, but a much weirder band that mostly sings songs about working man’s politics in England in during the last century. this song has both the lines "we asked the man for justice, well he handed us a stone" and "the way to hell is straight and sure/the way to heaven is long/the way to your heart is never-ending/so I just keep moving on" and I adore it

3. Four Hours by The Longest Johns ⁃ I found The Longest Johns late in college (and felt deeply smug when their Wellerman was a hit a year later. I found them first), but I do just listen to a lot of sea shanties. This one is a big ass mood for getting off a ship again and trying to adjust to Land and Not a Watch Schedule. Also, like most sea shanties, great to do chores and lab work too

4. Theseus by The Oh Hellos ⁃ god but I always love The Oh Hellos; this is a song about the importance of maintenance and I treasure it. all of the Zephyrus album is good

5. Loves Me Like a Rock by The Wailin’ Jennys ⁃ turns out The Wailin’ Jennys, usually a folk band, did a cover of Paul Simon’s Love Me a Rock. it’s pretty good. (I actually downloaded this earlier today; I have no sophisticated thoughts yet)

6. I Don’t Want You Now by KT Tunstall ⁃ If Only is probably my actual favorite song off this album, but KT Tunstall is always a good time

7. Angels of the River by Oysterband ⁃ aaand the other stuff Oysterband does is odd, folky, kinda wifty stuff like this. Genuinely no idea what this one is about, any more than I know what Milford Haven is about. I like it though

8. Now I am an Arsonist by Jonathon Colton (ft Suzanne Vega) ⁃ to me, this is a very unlikely combination of artists; Colton usually does deeply nerdy fare, while Suzanne Vega soft and strange. this song is on my thieves playlist, and I could not really describe why

9. Heavy Horses by Jethro Tull ⁃ most of the Jethro Tull songs I like best are songs about industrialization with some of the weirdest flute solos I have ever heard, and Heavy Horses is no exception. This song is nearly 9 minutes long and about the arrival of tractors. it’s great. (Stormwatch is actually my favorite Jethro Tull album, and Weathercock or Acres Wild are more favorite songs from this one, but do I really like Heavy Horses)

10. Falling For The First Time by The Barenaked Ladies ⁃ This is the kind of overlapping wordplay I’m here for, the whole chorus delights me; "Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost/Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost/What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?". And the way it comes back in the final chorus, but tweaked a little. it’s just a good time.

I’m deeply surprised that there’s no They Might Be Giants, Great Big Sea, or songs from my highschool acapella group, but other than that, this is pretty representative.

@epsilon-delta do you play tag games?

[dragonspleenistasty]

yo dweeb. tell us a bit about your worldbuilding project

Oh why thank you, dear Anonymous!

I guess I will start with the fact i have a few worldbuilding projects going at the moment, all of them are just casual thought experiments I work on for fun! I know you see my blog, so I'll just give a brief rundown of the most recent few projects hehe <3

I have a sci fi setting with galactic intrigue, dozens of species, and the near devastation of our beloved Terra by an unknown yet clearly hostile force. Humanity now lies fractured, though the premier force, the grand NAU, has stepped up to unify humanity alongside its alien allies. But just as humanity begins to stand up again, it seems that galactic stability may finally collapse. Unforseen, mysterious invasions occurring at the frontier regions, the official announcement and subsequent isolationism of a large post-human nation, civil war in the Ridi lands, new species of aliens beginning to appear across the local region, threats from a militaristic human splinter state, strange signals from a far away yet unknowable vast Alien empire, perhaps the very one which destroyed Terra. How will the Galaxy survive?

And now i will cut this off because I wrote WAY too long of an explanation "brief rundown" my ass I am an unskippable cutscene

Are you happy, babygirl? Are you? Anyway feel free to ask more this was so much fun

There's an industrial era world boasting some of my most in depth worldbuilding yet, thousands of years of history leading into the current era, as old societies show their age and crack and the new find their foundation, as technology explodes with industry and worldwide trade, as the understanding of magic and the past and the future becomes sophisticated, what will come in the next chapter? Geopolitical tensions rise to a boiling point as two nations face eachother. Masitochia, the republic rising from the scorched remnants of an empire brutally put down, now a modern, world power pioneering scientific thought and trade, and the White Stone, an empire of truly gargantuan size, long beloved in history as the protecting giant. For a thousand years the empire has been strong and a thousand years back it was still a grand power. The Empire now lashing out as the world leaves behind the archaic feudal, authoritarian world in which it thrived. Revolution and war leaves the White Stone uncertain, and ready to yet again put down the feisty Masitochians.

In the depths of the WoodLands, past the ferocious thickets holding untold horrors, there lies the setting of my most recent setting, and coincidingly my least developed. In this world- if it is a world, there exists seemingly nothing but the vast, unending forest. But in the middle of the vicious woods lay the Imperial Realms. Styled after the 16-1700s H.R.E, here lies an incredible fragmented empire. Hundreds of princedoms, counties, lordships, bishophrics, Knightly orders, duchies, kingdoms, electorates, free cities call this realm their home, and all hail to the emperor. Knights participate in the chivalric tourneys in the Prince's courtyard, competing for the right to serve the Prince-Lord. Serfs warn their children not to venture into the woods, for though in the thicket lies the magical tower, a walk that deep into the woods makes the simple tower as much another world as the kingdoms in the sky, or the Emperor's court. Mysterious things lie in the woods, obscured by mist and pagan magic- or so the bishops warn. There are those who brave the woods, those who speak of other nations, Realms to rival that of our beloved empire! But these are but fables and heretical hearsay. Isn't it?

[quilveor]

Friend sent me this, and as a self-titled pokemaniac, I'd do wrong to not reply and elaborate on every single of those points. I already did to them, after all.

Quickest summary: Yes, the pokemon universe is ripping apart at the seams. Some details sound off, though, but the world is just gonna snap in half any time soon. Beware spoilers for almost all mainline [gen 3 onward] and all PMD games.

1) It's unclear where Mega Evolution actually comes from. There's two leading theories - yes, ORAS says meteorites, but XY says the energy of the Ultimate Weapon. The answer is probably both, because Pokemon doesn't care about consistency. Alternatively one set of worlds just has a lot more energy in it. 1.2) This is merely trivia that was certainly just an offhand meta joke, but in HGSS, Steven says he was fought by multiple identical-looking kids, implying every single playthrough of Ruby and Sapphire is set in the same world. The implications are hilarious. 1.5) Yes, Anabel is from Emerald world. People falling through holes is often enough to get them a name of a "Faller". Other notable Fallers include Mohn [husband of Lusamine, main villain of gen 7] and Looker [a detective from Platinum that appears in X/Y too]

2) True. I forgot they were silver-skinned myself, but the humanoids are called Ultra Recon Squad. Their world is devoid of light due to Ultra Necrozma. Also important is that, due to those wormholes, local pokemon are imbued with special energy called Z-Power, overdose of which turns individuals big. This is the same energy that Ultra Necrozma possesses.

2.2) Another minor trivia: Lunala, Solgaleo and Necrozma are all technically ultra beasts, but they are not counted as such in game's code. Probably to let you catch 'em without doing a post-game quest, but still, funny.

3) More specifically, you can capture Cosmog [which evolves into Cosmoem, and then into either Solgaleo or Lunala depending on your game version], but the mirror world thing is true. However, I am not sure it allows your pokemon to evolve into the other mascot. I'm not saying not, I'm just saying I'm not sure, since evolution is version-locked. 4) Eternatus. That's basically the plot of SwSh for those who care. There was a Catastrophic Event™️ including him, but he got defeated - then, in current times, local energy plant owner got him and wants to do Catastrophic Event™️ again because we will run out of energy in a thousand years. I am not joking. It's dumb. Rose is dumb. 4.2) Eternatus came from a meteorite, too. Perhaps Dynamax phenomenon and Mega evolution are two sides of the same thing? 4.5) Said energy made its mark for long enough that on a nearby island, mushrooms grow that allow the pokemon to enter their alternative big boi modes, "Gigantamax", or "rearranged genetic makeup" as OP calls it. It's a temporary form so I wouldn't be so dramatic myself. 4.7) Eternatus has his own special big boi mode where he turns into a huge-ass hand. It's called "Eternamax". During the fight with him, you get to see flashes of other locations and times in the background.

5) Mmmm, ScaVio's time machine. It's important to stress that the theory that paradoxes are basically Sada/Turo's imagination is just a theory. It's popular, sure, but paradox pokemon have been in the region for over 200 years, and the original research team was there in search of treasure, not weird beasts. What is true is, those creatures are there in the crater of Paldea, and it's also the source of Terastal energy which is basically the local phlebotinium. The robot in question is professor's AI in a robot clone body. It's specified that scientists cannot do such technology yet, but Terastal energy helped out somehow. It is hard to say however if it's sentient, or just very sophisticated, cases can be made both ways. Pokemon doesn't need to explain a damn, after all. The Time Machine that's mentioned was built by Sada/Turo, and is said to send things both ways. Professor uses them to send pokeballs into past/future and catch pokemon like that, but it also makes paradox pokemon spontaneously appear in the vicinity too.

6) True. There's also a large drawing in a secret cave where paradox Salamence/Gallade spawn. There's an implication that the DLC will explain a little bit of that, but it's merely an implication for now.

7) This is pretty much just the plot of DPPt. To add a little bit, the "banished god", Giratina, lives in an extremely splintered world where gravity is local and things don't obey typical laws of physics, changing all the time.

8) Oh boy this is a big one. At first I want to stress that PMD isn't treated as canon in mainline series, but I will ignore that for the sake of argument. 8.3) In PMD universe as a whole, humans are something between ancient history, myth, and a fairytale. Pokemon are aware of humans, and they're mentioned to have existed in the past, but no longer. There are even ruins of human constructions as seen in Rescue Team's Decrepit Lab 8.3 a) Rescue Team has two humans of note. Gengar and the protagonist. First is said to have been cursed by Ninetales to become a pokemon, second was approached and willingly agreed to go to the pokemon world. So it's hardly world splintering in this case. 8.3 b) Explorers have a single human, the protagonist. They've come from far future of darkness, being a partner to Grovyle. However, there's no explanation whatsoever as to what a human was doing there. [Unless you consider that Bidoof's Wish is responsible for the entire game happening. Then we can blame Bidoof.] 8.3 c) Gates have many humans and they're actually explained. They've been called from other worlds by an entity called Voice of Life in order to save the world. Notably, every human except the protagonist is also sent back to their original world by the villains. 8.3 d) Super has a human protagonist, and also an ancient human in the past. First was brought by Mew, but the second one is just kinda there? That one's not explained. Notably, the protagonist of Super does not return to the "human world" upon completion of their quest, unlike all other protagonists. 8.3 e) Adventurers has no humans. I just wanted to mention it exists because if I suffer this knowledge, so shall you. 8.6) Legends has two notable humans. Protagonist has been sent across the time by the literal will of God Himself, however Ingo fell through the time on his own and [like Fallers of SMUSUM] has amnesia. However, in this case, what's far more important is that the timespace continuum in Legends: Arceus is absolutely, positively, and completely FUCKED. There's just holes in reality all over the whole place. Left and right. You can enter those and catch a Porygon there if you so damn please. You can catch ancient [fossil] pokemon there. What the fuck happened.

9) Time eroding is a conscious effort made by Darkrai in order to create a world of darkness. He actively sabotages everything that can happen for it behind the scenes. This doesn't change the fact that time is kept in check with literally a single location that, if it crumbles, time will eventually stop. [But there are spare time gears. Explorers of Sky informs us of at least six, and you only need five. [Limestone Cavern in Here Comes Team Charm! special episode has the sixth one. Also it's implied there are time gears in Drenched Bluffs and Waterfall Cave because Dimensional Scream activates there.]] However, yes, Mystery Dungeons are unexplained locations that warp and distort. They also are said to appear due to a large amount of local disasters happening in Rescue Team.

And yes, the list is fairly non-exhaustive. You have time/dimension travel in BWB2W2 [trading between versions is implied to be time travel by one npc in Opelucid; and Entralink exists], you get the entire Rainbow Rocket episode of USUM where you just have villains that actually managed to conquer/destroy their worlds because there was no protag vibing into your world, Alolan wormholes opened over Galar in Crown Tundra... Yep, those worlds are fucked.

Have a good day!

I absolutely love that the Pokémon universe is literally tearing itself apart at the seams. Fantastic worldbuilding, A+++

[alltheotherblogs]

Thoughts on types of horror from the perspective of someone with a lot of combat sport experience.

I'll start off by listing my credentials since some of you may be new and this is my first post you've read. My first ever exposure to combat was through TV and cartoons, and from that day forward it was a way of life to me. The respect two people feel when fighting each other, or sparring, it's intense. There is a relationship made between two people when they fight, and it is never broken again so long as they are able to learn from each other. I took roughly four years or more of Tang soo do, I then progressed onto self teaching (which I usually don't count...) Where I practiced HEMA, Boxing, MMA, Muay Thai, and more. It proved to be effective when I actually joined a gym, and proved that I was on the level of many others during sparring. This spans into a tangent I have about people gatekeeping experience and knowledge of sports and combat, but you'll find you can learn a lot and learn proper form from simple YouTube tutorials. Gyms are not required for you to be good at fighting. Techniques are invented and refined through time and practice. Moving on, I have a cumulative ten years (roughly) of combat sport experience. Sparring is one of the most fun things I ever did in my life, and I'm pained and saddened I never got to go amateur.

Horror, it's unique because it's supposed to make you scared. But, not everyone is the same, not everyone is going to be scared of the same things. What if you were being chased by a big stupid guy with a chainsaw? I would pick up a rock and kick his ass. But most people would run and corner themselves and get killed. I'd find an open area, and start a fight. There aren't many people left who are like me, and most of them aren't Westerners, aren't respected, or are treated like idiots. But, it's my knowledge of physics which makes me so brave. I can roughly calculate how much force it takes to break a rib, deliver it, and succeed nine out of ten times. It doesn't matter if I'm armed, unarmed, armored or unarmored, if I'm bigger or smaller, I will win, and I'm confident in that. This is one of the most important parts, being certain you'll succeed. If you think you'll lose, you will, but if you know you'll win, you probably will. I know I'll win, no matter the scenario, because I have a very good set of skills combined with knowledge. Maybe I am crazy! Maybe I'm the one that's wrong, but it doesn't change how dangerous I am.

The idea of having to believe from the matrix is remarkably important. With that knowledge, we can move onto the meat of the post. Levels of threat, threat analyzing, and being self aware of what you can defeat and how. Ideally I'd have a gun in every situation, but everyone knows we aren't always that fortunate. We'll start with the simplest of horrors, the slasher! Yeah, this is a no brainer, doesn't matter if it's a guy with whatever and how big they are or what. It's REAL LIFE, and they are KILLABLE within the laws of physics. That aside, let's talk about the King. Jason Voorhees.

First of all, Jason would never come after me. This is because he has a moral compass, (albeit skewed.) He only kills certain types of people, and I don't fall into the realm of who he preys upon. Besides the point, what if someone I care about does? Okay, Jason is already fucking dead. This guy is 6'8 and uses whatever he has near by to fight, he and I have that in common and what I have at my disposal is a bit more sophisticated as to what he has at his. Jason is seen with machete's, axes, picks, and more! I have a sword two feet away from me at this very moment. Again, not everyone is that lucky, so let's talk planning. Plan to fight Jason where you can win, this is in a populated open area. Jason is at his weakest when fighting in conventional environments, because Jason is more akin to a Wolf than a man. You put him in a man made setting, like a walmart parking lot or the middle of a street, he's out of his element and you are at an advantage already. If Jason and I are on equal footing, I win because freakish strength isn't real. Normal strength is real, and I have technique to back me up and know where to his Jason to give him instant brain damage. But if we aren't equal, and Jason has a weapon, I'm not staying and fighting. We can start with creative and interesting techniques, like using clothes to catch and disarm. You can already imagine all the uses of a jacket against a bladed weapon, tensile fibers woven together make a fantastic catch and historically have served to defend against things like swords and arrows. Pretending like newer stronger fibers can't do the same things that cotton and linen did 500 years ago is delusional. Your clothing is a shield, remember that. And second part, stealing is allowed. I know! How scandalous! Dude, your fucking life is in danger, you can ask for a gun or a knife. Walk into walmart, walk into whatever store you have near by that has weapons, ask for fucking help. If it's just you V.s. Jason, you can still win by being properly prepared. But that's not what we're talking about, we're talking about defending yourself in horror. Run for help if you have to, don't stand and die like so many would. I have four locations within running, walking, biking and driving distance that I can rapidly get to and get help. Once you have Jason in a store, or parking lot, and you have a weapon, you are now at an advantage. You will win if you just know what to do in a fight. Which comes to my last point, if you are a weakling, if you are scared, TRAIN! Nothing helps peace of mind like knowing you can punch someone's bones into dust. Jason is dead if he comes near me, my loved ones, or my family! Now if we're playing by his rules, and he's immortal, he's gonna enjoy a life of endless torture which he will never escape. I'm not kidding, I can and will build a tapered spike pit and throw him in. And if he starts to break the walls, I'm dumping in molten lead, so he'll have the entertainment of extra brain damage and potentially cancer. You think I can't? Check the prices of concrete and rebar right now. Think again.

Now this is a different kind of horror that one person just cannot beat. First of all, Godzilla is physically impossible. He'd crumble under his own weight, he'd die from being born. That aside, yeah I'm not dead, maybe you are! I'm not. Kaiju horror actually does scare me in an odd way, I'll put it like this; I can run away, but what if someone else can't? I'm more worried about others than I am myself. In the instance that this is the case, I'm going to find explosives and blow up the supports of a building so that it falls on this cretin's neck. Regardless of whether I can or not, I will. That said, this is one that I can't just skillfully beat, it's gonna take some luck... I can survive! But it's still scary.

Psychological horror. A frequent feature on an old TV show created and presented by Rod Sterling. This is a horror that I am victim to in my every day life... :( I can't beat this one, it already beat me. But, I'll say this much; I'm not scared, just disappointed...

Yeah spoilers for the Nick Cage movie Color Out of Space. (what a weird fucking sentence.) H.P. Lovecraft and many more authors are known for their fascination with Cosmic and Eldritch Horror. Two types of near undefeatable horrors which are given a reputation for being the most closely connected to what all humans truly instinctually fear; the unknown. They do this by taking elements from the MOST UNKNOWN concepts, other worlds, and other planets. But, back in the day, everyone didn't have a computer to immediately run the calculations on the exact yield of a nuclear bomb. Now we do, and I'm a very educated member of society. So, I'm going to explain why the movie Color Out of Space is not a traditional cosmic horror, but a comedy of errors presented like cosmic horror. This is part of the post, I promise.

To start, a meteor lands in their backyard, and nobody handles it properly. When they find the meteor and realize it's still hot and sizzling, GLOWING, and emitting a strange smell. Nobody does anything about it, even after what it did to them when it landed. Let me make this clear, strange smell, glowing, still hot, anyone who doesn't immediately know something is wrong hasn't ever heard about the concept of harmful radiation. If that meteor landed in my back yard, first of all, I'm fucking gone and I'm taking my tech with me. Second of all, I'm telling the authorities that their is a potentially NUCLEAR ORB in my back yard. Regardless, the family stays in the house with the nuclear reactor in their back yard. As more things begin to happen, they don't even leave when someone needs to go to the hospital, they go sure, then they fucking come back. Even as literal time begins to distort around them, they can't walk something like 8 miles to town. I don't know if you've ever walked short distances, but 8 miles counts as a short distance. The fact that they can't just start walking and go is blatantly stupid. Regardless! Real cosmic horror is pretty terrifying.

I'm not remotely scared of this guy. He got all the way to earth, and spied on me for days, and then came down to earth buck ass naked to come try and abduct me or some shit to measure my spitting distance or milk-ability or something like that. Dude, I'm not going with you. I'll punt your little head a kilometer into the air. That said, aliens with guns are actually scary. Imagine this, a species at war with ITSELF for hundreds of thousands of years can travel faster than light to other planets. I don't give up! But I acknowledge that I'm dying fighting. It's like this; if they aren't accustomed to dealing with war, I win. If they are, we all lose. Anything can die, but not everything is easy to kill.

Junji Ito, a man so happy yet so adept at making us fear. Most Junji Ito books dip into the concept of Eldritch horror. The Spiral, a vague concept, coming for you to do whatever is terrifying regardless of if it is the Spiral or this terrifying clingy bitch. Tomi is this eternal evil that seeks to ruin peoples lives, and commit genocide on the human race. The simple notion of her existence proves that Demons are real. She will pick away your mind till there is nothing left and cackle as the consequences play out. In general, Tomi doesn't go after innocent people... But she is a lot like Jason, her version of innocent may not align with ours.

FINALLY! The most survivable type of horror next to slashers. Zombies. A lot of people pretend that "zombies are this unsurviveable disaster and you will die no matter what humanity is all dead!!! wah wah wah!" Shows how much people project themselves onto others. Some people just cannot grasp that you aren't them, and that you are better at certain things than they are. Regardless, zombies will kill the weaklings, sure! But, they aren't the end all be all of horror. Even in the famous "Night of the Living Dead" the people only DIE because they corner themselves in a house. The first step in a zombie scenario is to actually get moving. They can't walk forever, they're rotting. If they can run, they're rotting faster. They are moving their muscles, that requires oxygen, oxygen rots things. As soon as a zombies lungs are gone, it's dead. The fear of zombies isn't the zombies themselves, zombies are light work. Zombies are a "Boxing day out" zombies are a fantasy come true for someone like me with a sword in arms reach and motorcycle armor. I'm having a brisk field day farming zombies like it's minecraft, but I'm not stopping when I get thirty levels.

The problem with zombies comes with how they are being transformed. Is it fluid? Is it air-born? Is it a spore? I think the most frightening one is it just being an air-born disease. Nobody is safe unless you develop a natural immunity, and even then welcome to the world you'll be living in for the rest of your life. For me it's not so much a problem... For others it is. I have a great immune system and everything, so I'm not worried. My FM12 gas mask is gonna need to have a word with those spores, cause they aren't coming in. But, I acknowledge that not everyone else is prepared... I acknowledge that if that time came, it's gonna be a mostly sad one. Regardless! It's the most survivable unless we're dealing with magic undead. Which, aren't real.

I know. Suspension of disbelief is what allows people to insert themselves into worlds where they can be scared! But, for me, I cannot be scared unless it's realistic. And for me, if I'm in a world where the impossible is possible, I'm becoming the impossible. Does magic exist? I already know all the spells motherfucker. Can ghosts enter into your dreams and try to kill you? Watch yourself Freddy Freaker, I overcame my nightmares when I was fucking kid by punching the shit out of the monster. You'll lose mate. Regardless of whatever world we're in, unless it's this one, I'm not scared... If it's this one, I know just how bleak this world is and just how few of us are fortunate. I've thankfully put myself in a position where I'm lucky enough to be able to defend myself and others from the horrors of this world. So, I'm not scared! Regardless, I acknowledge that others find entertainment in fear. I just don't. I find it stupid more often than not, you kind of have to be dumb to be a victim of horror. There are plenty of real world terrors out there.

I hope my post provided some entertainment for you! Regardless it wasn't really for you. It was for me. I wanted to write a big long stupid rant about why I don't find horror scary. Now I can go back and reference this whenever someone is like "Why aren't you scared, bla bla bla, so scaryyy." I can link them back to this. I'm not scared because I know physics, and I called physics up and he told me how easy it was to kick Michael Myers ass.

[simonthechaste]

To My Beautiful Hot Ex

I am pretty sure I have posted this one here earlier, but since it popped up on another site, I'm doing a repost. Nothing has changed since I wrote it. I still edge thinking of her, and sometimes wail out her name aloud as I cum, even though my time with her is now ten years in the past.

Posted by Simonebee December 24, 2022

I have been thinking quite a lot about my hot ex, again. We had a fling back when I was 42, with her being 17. It lasted only three months but they were quite a three months. It's all a decade in the past now, but I never got over her, and I still masturbate and cum regularly thinking about her, and wailing out her name aloud.

It's not that I think we could somehow get back together, on anything like that. I understand very well she got over me without any effort after dumping my ass. She has since then continued her life, and I'm quite happy about it. I am pretty sure she doesn't even remember me anymore, even though I cannot never forget her.

I think what I miss the most isn't her, who she is now, but her how she was back then, and even more specifically, the connection we had. Despite our age difference she was the more confident of us, as well as more cultured and sophisticated one. I was timid, awkward, unsure of myself, in many ways her total opposite, and I felt like a little kid next to her.

I guess it is needless to add it was she who did the approaching, initiated everything and made the relationship happen. One could say she picked me up like a ripe apple from a tree. I would never, ever have the guts to approach that angelic being. I can only suspect what it must have looked from outside, though.

Sexually she was shall we say experienced, and in every respect everything I could have ever hope for. She was wonderfully dominant, adventurous, delightfully sadistic, playful, witty, incredibly intelligent and most of the time insatiably horny. She was also one of the women who introduced me to chastity play.

I still wonder what she saw me back then. Clearly, she had lived a busy life sexually, and could have gotten anyone she wanted, and she knew it too. I asked her about it many times, and she assured me I was both "fuckable", and, to use her favourite word of me, "adorkable".

I can only guess she found something endearing in the conflicted mess I was. I was in a quite a bad shape sexually and emotionally at that point, due to the seven year catastrophe that was my first relationship. So I couldn't believe my luck when I found a person I could actually enjoy sex with.

Sex in our case, mind you, meant me going down on her, which she insisted I was super good at, something I had never been told. That naturally made me doubly more enthusiastic pleasuring her with my tongue. I think I got to actually cum in her presence perhaps once or twice during those three months.

We talked about doing it in the old-fashioned way, of course. However, I was already impotent at that point meaning it would have required some preparations we never had time for. She was quite happy with me being impotent and I can only hope she found it a bit amusing as well.

One reason for her not being in a hurry getting me hard was the fact she had been 100% lesbian before me, which I think made me love her even more. Quickly after dumping me she started dating guys though, so I can only guess I was a sort of safe testing ground what it is like having sex with a male.

At the time we were together she was still at high school and living at home, meaning we didn't have as much time together we would have wanted. Whenever we saw each other we couldn't keep our hands off each other, and whenever we had privacy we spent it with my face buried in her crotch.

Instead of actually doing things together we had a our chat. Like any good teenager she always had her iPhone and I was constantly on Facebook. We spent most of our time that way, both of us rubbing ourselves silly, me edging my limp clit at home for her, and her getting off at home to my words. I still cum reading those chat logs.

We didn't get to do much of the stuff we planned during our conversations. However, what made our relationship magical wasn't so much about the things we actually got to do, but the tone in our relationship. It was like living three months in a hypersexual, submissive high.

I know it could have never work out, but I didn't care. After she dumped me I was told she had been two-timing behind my back the whole time she was with me, but I must say it didn't matter at time, it still doesn't.

And I'm merely incredibly grateful I got to experience those incredible three months with her.

[maginxlia]

Starring Nanami, Gojo, Toji And Sukuna Ryomen In a Holiday Dinner with Your Family

Rated R

Contains Foul Language And Suggestive themes

I told y'all that I would be posting again this week 🍁 Happy Holidays y'all💖 I hope y'all get to enjoy time with your family and friends this season while staying safe💖 I love all of y'all and I hope this add some excitement to y'all day 💖 I am very thankful (and Appreciative!) for all the support and love y'all give me and I'm wishing all of y'all well✨

Nanami Kento

Nanami is actually very excited to meet your folks and enjoy different types of food

So when you explained how you wanted to travel to go see your family for The Holiday, He was more than willing and able

Really wants to make a good first Impression like the perfect gentleman he is

Asks you about what the Etiquette in your family and Will remember everything you say

If Your family the type to Separate Unmarried couples (Same) He will respect their boundaries and their home

When you arrive he carries y'all bags in and remove your coat for you

Type to wait for you to introduce him and your folks before he goes around shaking hands

If food is being prepared he will offer to help

Actually ask your folks can he please prepare a dish for the Dinner that reminds him of home (Ofc he go out and buys his own ingredients)

He gift your uncles a bottle of Expensive Rum

Let's you make him a plate when the dinner starts

Uncles egg him on to add to the Prayer; Which he does amazing job making the Uncles impressed

Nanami actually have the Aunties drooling with his mannerisms and his sophisticated aura also he handsome like of the actors from a black and white movie

When the Uncles starts Drilling him on what he do for a living, Nanami Just smile and tells them he works for the government (Cousins in the background going "DAMN that means he makes good money")

This Man love all the food but the Homemade Mac & cheeses and yams is sending him

Nosy ass Family Elder starts asking about Grandbabies and Marriage🤦🏾‍♀️ He simply says that Marriage is definitely in the cards for the future and maybe Babies too but he's wants to wait a little longer because his job makes him travel a lot and you deserve a husband who always gonna be there🥺

When the dinner festivities has ended the Uncles invite him to watch the game with them, He impressed them with the fact he can hold his liquor so well; Everybody else is drunk while Nanami is slightly buzzed

Overall impression 10/10

Gojo Satoru

Gojo is Hyped OFF THE WALLS HYPE

Yes babe I will love to go see your Family and Eat some good food- Gojo Satoru 2021

Asks you for your Family members names and descriptions while on the trip there

When you arrive at your folks place Gojo is holding your bags and ready to Greet them like old friends

He knows he's very charming and is going to make a good impression easily either way

He is rather bummed about sleeping in a separate room from you but he will get over it

Keeps his sunglasses on but you already told your folks that he's sensitive to light and not he's trying to hide his Pretty eyes, So they don't take it as disrespect

If you help in the kitchen he will ask do you need anything and will try to assist But Baby don't let him, it's a ploy for him to sneak samples.

At the Dinner tho shit gets mad serious, He wants all the food and will ask you for three plates for him to eat in one sitting (With his Greedy ass)

Aunties whispering to each other because 1. he's sexy and 2. Rather funny. Mans has the ability to draw people to him without even trying

When the uncles start asking him about his occupation he smiles and says that he's a teacher, mentor and have good paying government career (Cousins and Aunties are shaking)

Theres lots of jokes and drinking go on But Gojo Has one major excess and that is Dressing with the homemade Cranberry sauce, After his third helping of Dressing He start talking too loosely

When the Nosy ass Family Elder start asking Questions about why there isn't any babies with y'all Gojo Quickly replied "it's not because of The lack of Trying"🤷🏾‍♀️ OOPS (Aunties and Uncles SHOOK)

Gojo doesn't Join the uncles to watch the ball game because he doesn't want to risk get plastered

He will find you and go hunting for a quiet space in the house for some Alone time but the moment he’s comfortable he's falling asleep because his belly is too full

Overall impression 8/10

Fushiguro Toji

Hell no Toji doesn't want to go but will because he cares for you and this is something important to you

Is Grumpy the whole time you're traveling, He doesn't have a great relationship with his own family and Really isn't about all this but he's trying

Effortlessly carry y'all bags into your old room before one of your family members asked him is y'all married? No? Well you gotta sleep in separate bedrooms then

Toji is pissed. You help him sleep better and he can't fully grasp why your family are pulling y'all apart. It's because of Respect? He has seen you naked more than he can count and the things he has done with you would make your family try to jump him if they knew.

He begrudgingly takes the guest room but he's not happy

The first thing he do when he unpacked is checked your room windows and the room he's staying in windows, Then he hides his weapons in the guest room because he'll be damned if he's caught slipping

Mans Really is quiet. your family is surprised at how quiet he walks plus his fast reflexes got them questioning shit

He stays in the guest room for the most part and only comes out when he's called for dinner

Fix his own plate last because he doesn't want people judging what he picks

His lips stay together until one of the uncles ask him what is his profession which Toji replied "I'm a traveling contractor" Now everybody is curious, The same uncle asked him how much that pays which Toji simply replied couple of thousands per contract ( Aunties, Cousins and parentals alike going😳)

Toji is back to being quiet until the Nosy ass family elder fixed their lips to ask Toji about babies🤦🏾‍♀️ He quickly replied that he's allergic to children (One of your cousins had the audacity to say that's code word for Deadbeat Dad Boo) Toji is not pleased.

After Dinner he Bonds with the uncles over football even tho he doesn't care for liquor he still had hella fun

At night Toji will sneak into your room to have some X rated fun with you and your family will never know that he even was there

Overall impression 6/10

Ryomen Sukuna

Meeting your Family? Being included in the festivities? Sukuna is delighted that you would include him in all this BUT Yuuji has objections

Yuuji doesn't trust Sukuna in a new environment so Yuuji will be the face of the whole operation

Yuuji is the perfect soft boyfriend that your folks thinks you deserve (If they only knew)

Introduction go so well and He doesn't say anything when a they mention a separate room for you two

He offer a helping hand In the kitchen and help set the table all while Sukuna is Raging in his head

Your little cousins, Nieces and Nephews loves him

Dinner goes beautifully, Yuuji get his plate fixed with your help at explaining the foods

Aunties thinks he just the Cutest and is very sweet

When Questioned about what he do for living Yuuji tells them that he's a university student and he have multiple legal side gigs (Cousins in the background saying HES A EDUCATED HUSTLER)

Yuuji is enjoying the food a little too much tho The potato salad got him Dreaming

Before The Nosy ass Family Elder could even ask their questions, Yuuji Excuse himself to go to the restroom because Sukuna is livid and pissed How could Yuuji sit there indulge himself while ignoring him

Don't get me Wrong Sukuna is about to wreck some shit up but what stops him is the fact this means a lot to you and he can't forgive himself if he over reacts so He comes a agreement with Yuuji that as long as he can get control that and eat some food for himself; he will be okay.

Yuuji Returns just in time to help clear the table

He sits with the uncles for a little bit and watch the game but he soon go to his room for some rest

Right When your family is either asleep or went to their own places Sukuna will lurk and hunt you out.

He's silent as he opens your door and wakes you gently, his claws slightly scratching your arms while his eyes stares intently into your own sleepy eyes..... I am Hungry My pet, The brat promised me a feast and I've been oh so patient Sukuna says deeply yet quietly

With your assistance he gets to Gorge himself on the left overs, what I am sayings is that there wasn't any leftovers when he got done lmao

Sukuna get you in a lot of trouble if you fall for his seduction so be prepared to get caught By the parentals because The King of Curses always give you something that makes it hard for you be quiet😉

Yuuji Impression 10/10

Yuuji impression if Sukuna get y'all asses caught 1/10

Likes, Comments, Reblogs and Requests is Hella appreciated and Loved💖 Please don't Steal My shit.

[deateath]

Ykno what I’m thinking about on this fine day? Sanji. Who is surprised. BUT I was rereading this post by @demonzoro and got to thinking specifically about the “started smoking to make himself seem more mature” thing and how pretending (or being forced by circumstance) to be mature as a child can lead to emotional underdevelopment as an adult.

As an oldest sibling and a former Little Girl with Undiagnosed ADHD™, I was always told I was mature for my age, talked well with adults, was very responsible and self-sufficient, etc. I was by no means forced to be like this, but I understood this was praised behavior so I kept up with it and now look at me lol. So I find myself coming across this problem of emotional maturity occasionally. Emotional maturity is influenced by both your adult mentors and younger peers. And who out of the crew had older siblings, other children as friends, or actual adult figures around who loved them? Most everyone EXCEPT Sanji and Usopp, whose mothers died when they were very young and had almost no other children their age in their life.

BUT TIME OUT: by this logic, am I saying that Luffy is emotionally mature? I guess I am. He’s a goofball and impulsive, sure, but he is the one to bring so many people to these significant moments that realize emotional maturity. He makes Nami ask for help in Arlong Park. He makes Robin say she wants to live. He helps Chopper realize he’s not a monster, and to take a step towards achieving his dream by coming with them. He makes Sanji say what he truly wants and ask for help in Whole Cake AND yells at him at the Baratie (which I mentioned here talking about Sanji’s martyrdom). Not to mention the countless side characters who are inspired by him. OKAY TIME IN.

We clearly see Usopp’s emotional immaturity with his pathological lying and inability to take full responsibility for his mistakes. Though, he wasn’t necessarily robbed of a childhood, he didn’t have figures in his life to teach him about becoming an adult, and his childhood is extended when he didn’t want it to be. He’s not fooling himself, he knows he’s a chicken. And his dream is to become a brave warrior! Usopp’s dream is to leave behind his primary hallmark of emotional immaturity.

Sanji, on the other hand, thinks he’s the epitome of sophisticated manhood, but he is clinging to a childhood he never got to have. We see it when he talks about the All Blue and the way he treats women. Sanji’s dream is to find this fairytale place. And unlike Usopp who as a child lacked adult figures and had plenty of (younger, granted) kids on the island, Sanji lacked other children to be around. His siblings were not normal children, and he spent the whole rest of his youth with grown-ass pirates. To fit in and survive, he had to act mature. But he never learns true maturity. Everything Sanji does is him mimicking how he thinks mature people behave. But he hasn’t learned boundary setting, he hasn’t learned to ask for help, he hasn’t learned to be vulnerable.

(((Also I know Robin had to be mature at a young age as well, but she is 8 years older than the east blue crew so we don’t see her moments of emotional immaturity in the canon storyline. In fact she is likely regarded as the most mature before Jinbe joins. Though one could argue water 7/enies lobby is a demonstration of emotional immaturity from Robin, I think it’s specifically trauma-informed due to the whole Devil Child thing bringing ruin to everyone she ever met until that point. Also Spandam is there and his connection to Ohara/threat of buster call is a bfd. Fic ideas for Robin in her late teens/early twenties struggling with emotions anyone…?)))

————————

Anyway. There’s a point in here somewhere. Sanji is prepared to spend his entire adult life to find this childish fantasy. It could be said that both Usopp and Sanji’s dreams are to obtain what they never had. But the key difference is Usopp is searching for emotional maturity, bravery, because he knows he needs it. Sanji is searching for the childhood he never got and he doesn’t realize he’s missing it.

[kpopxx]

Spy Games [Chapter 1] : More Than It Seems

Characters: Twice Momo, Male Reader

4579 words

Authors Note: This is literally the first fiction writing I have done since I was a little kid writing stories about a town full of hamburgers. I was inspired to try my hand at writing by the plethora of amazing kpop smut writers out there right now, but by @lockefanfic​, @nsfwtwicecatcher​, @nsfwflint​, and @ggidolsmuts​ in particular. If there are any similarities between my writing and theirs, please forgive me as I’ve spent more hours than I’d care to admit “researching” their work. 

One thing that amazes me is how the hell everyone cranks out thousands of words with such frequency, as this post isn’t even 5k and it took forever to write. I can’t begin to explain how much respect I have for all the authors out there who can write so much and maintain such high levels of quality.

As a new writer, I welcome any and all feedback! Feel free to drop me a line if you have any critiques, or if you just want to chat!

***

“Coming up on the target now.” 

“Roger that, remember the office is on the top floor. Let us know when you’re inside. And remember, no elevators...” teases your handler, Choa.

“Thanks for the reminder,” you reply sarcastically.

You survey the skyscraper against the night sky--it would be impressive if it weren’t one of a hundred just like it downtown Seoul--and wonder what you had done to deserve getting the short end of the stick. Of course, you knew there was a reason to avoid the elevators: they sat directly in front of the building’s concierge and the cameras in the lobby, while the stairwell lay in a remote part of the first floor. The logic behind your impending hike didn’t make the reality any less abhorrent.

“Meanwhile, Seolhyun gets to infiltrate an organization in the Caymans. Just my fucking luck.” you grumble to yourself.

“Oh, stop whining, you big baby,” says Choa, reminding you to keep your thoughts to yourself.

You sneak past the lobby and towards the back of the floor you find the entrance to the stairwell in a poorly lit area.

“Beginning my climb.” you report, shaking out your legs as you prepare to go up.

“Sir, I-I’m getting some interference over comms,” chimes in the timid voice of the girl you knew to be your newest team member, Yoo Jeongyeon. “It could just be local chatter, but I want to make sure it’s not someone trying to listen in.”

“Probably nothing to worry about, but we’ll let you know if there’s anything you need to worry about.” Choa assures you. 

As you climb up the stairs, you wonder why anyone would want to listen in on this particular mission. This was a run-of-the-mill operation to investigate money laundering at an accounting firm. You’d infiltrated foreign governments, broken into and bugged the offices of billionaire CEOs, and tailed enemy agents. You could understand people wanting to hear those comms, but this? Either someone wanted something to listen to as a sleep aid, or this mission was more interesting than it looked.

A tip had come in through one of the new girls at the Intel Desk reporting that there was some fishy activity related to organized crime going on at the accounting firm. This was routine and you’d gone on dozens of similar recon missions before: break in, find suspicious intel, get out. But if someone wanted so badly to hear what was going on, the new girl may have stumbled onto something worthy of a promotion. Hayoung, you think her name was. Her chestnut, shoulder-length hair along with her well-endowed physique reminded you of a young mother, but her mature beauty belied her young age. You had caught yourself more than a few times fantasizing about her in your off hours…

You stop mid-way in the stairwell, scolding yourself for losing focus. Too often over the course of the last year you found yourself fantasizing about the women in your life. Sure, before the incident with Eunha you had sexual thoughts about your coworkers--you were surrounded by beautiful women, after all. But recently you noticed that your life was increasingly preoccupied with sex: both in your thoughts and the real-life exploits you carried out. 

Much longer than a few minutes later, you reach the 63rd floor out of breath and sweating, wishing more than ever that it was you and not Seolhyun lounging on the beach. You take a moment to compose yourself before peeking out into the office floor to see if the coast is clear.

“We may have a problem, boss. Jeongyeon looked into the comms disturbance and someone much more sophisticated than the average joe is definitely trying to tap in,” Choa says. “Jeongyeon’s kicking their ass right now blocking their access, but there’s only so much she can do alone. Eventually we’re going to lose control of this channel.”

“Dammit. I knew something was off with this op,” you grumble. “If they want to listen in to whatever I find, it must be important. We’ll go dark. Recon says this should be a quick in and out anyways. I’ll tag you once I’m out.”

“Be careful. Signal us if anything goes wrong. Just don’t do anything stupid.” replies Choa. 

“What do you think they pay me all this money for?” you tease, wanting to put her nerves at ease. “See you on the other side. Over and out.”

You could hear the concern in her voice. Even though keeping you safe was part of her job, you knew she cared about you. You also knew as well as she did that anything could go wrong even in the five minutes it would take you to break in, especially when it appeared that someone knew exactly what you were doing.

You switch off your comms link and head out the door and into the office.

It looked exactly as you expected--rows and rows of non-descript cubicles, with a princely office lined with glass walls occupying the far corner. Jeongyeon had retrieved the floor plan by hacking into the building’s security database earlier in the week, and you knew after her effort tonight in detecting and fending off the comms interference that Choa would want you to acknowledge the work the new girl had been putting in. She certainly was more skilled than the five previous team members you’d fired after Eunha, but you found it difficult to bring yourself to praise her. The Ops Officer position she occupied was a sore point for you, after all.

You deftly pick the lock on the corner office door and immediately sit down in front of the terminal on the desk, logging in with the security bypass Jeongyeon drew up. 

Again your thoughts drift to Eunha. Eunha was your longtime Ops Officer--highly skilled, you trusted her more than anyone. It also helped that she was your fiance. It made you sad to think about her; about what could have been, what should have been. Over the past year, you were constantly reminded of her absence by the utter incompetence of her replacements. You suppose it was nice that at the very least, Jeongyeon didn’t give you many opportunities to bemoan her performance in the same way--to remind you of Eunha.

You shake your head, compelling yourself to rise out of your funk and get on with the mission.

As you scroll through files, you stop on one with a familiar signature. Reading its contents, your eyes open wider--suddenly you understand why someone would be interested to listen in to your communications. You quickly save the file to your flash drive and stand up to leave, only to be startled by a figure in the doorway.

“Care to tell me what’s on that?” comes a familiar voice from the darkness that you knew to be Hirai Momo’s. Momo was an agent for a foreign espionage agency--you had as friendly a rivalry as you could have when working for different governments. 

“What was the point of trying to hack our comms if you were just going to show up and ask me that?”

“I had no intention of coming until you decided to ghost your girlfriends,” teases Momo. “Besides, I like showing you how much better I am at sneaking around.”

Momo flicks on the light and she comes into focus. The Japanese government made a good decision when they hired her, you think. She was built for the job of a seductive spy. Her perfectly toned legs had a lovely sheen all the way up to her short skirt, while her cleavage suggested that her tits were ready to burst out of her tight, patterned blouse. Where most of your attention was drawn, however, was her lustrous blue hair, which fell to her shoulders.

“I may actually need your help with this, once you see what’s on it,” you say, nodding your head at the flash drive.

“Oh, so you’re willing to give it to me? I thought I was going to have to fuck you for it,” she says sarcastically. You knew behind the humor was more than a nugget of truth, though. Sex had been the primary vehicle for information trading with Momo over the years. You decide to test your reading of the situation.

“Just because I need your help doesn’t mean I’m giving it for free…”

Momo brings her thumb to her mouth and bites gently as she ponders your not-so-subtle proposition. She takes her turn to look you up and down, making you feel more than a little self conscious in her gaze of judgment. After so many years in the dangerous world of espionage, there were only a handful women who could make you feel so small. Then again, Momo was no regular girl. 

Once she’s satisfied she has properly appraised your worth, Momo lets go of her thumb and straightens her blouse.

“Fine,” she says matter-of-factly, “let’s get to it,” unbuttoning her blouse as she walks towards you.

You are surprised by the lack of fight she put up, but you thought it best to keep that to yourself. Her tone reminds you of a business meeting--that is, if you hadn’t seen her pull her top off as she approached you. She sits in your lap on the chair, wrapping her arms around your neck as you meet her lips for a kiss. Momo’s mouth was familiar to you, introduced to you many times throughout your career. It seemed like every time you ran across her you had sex. One thing you adored about your relationship with her was that it was absolutely without strings attached. You fucked for work, but just because it was part of the job didn’t mean you both didn’t enjoy it. 

Momo, however, was loath to admit the pleasure she got out of her liaisons with you. Call it pride, call it being professional, whatever--Momo refused to act like sex with you was anything other than work, no different than working in a spreadsheet.

You feel her reach down to your pants, quickly unbuttoning them as she sinks to her knees in front of you. You smirk--her eagerness to please you betrayed her air of ambivalence.

Momo wastes no time getting down to business. You are certain the Japanese trained her very well in tender foreplay, but it seems she doesn’t care much for subtlety at the moment. Instead, she utilizes a more direct method to extract your pleasure--one that must have required its own fair share of training--as she spits on your cock before immediately forcing it as deeply in her mouth as she can take it. One, two, three bobs is all it takes for her to reach the base of your cock, her nose buried in your pelvis.

“Fuuuck me, that’s good,” you groan as you hold her head in place for several seconds, and Momo replies in turn with a cough that spits a healthy serving of saliva on to your cock. You release your grip on the back of her head to give her a chance to breathe, but she surprises you when she simply continues to work her mouth on your increasingly saliva-drenched cock, swirling her tongue around your base. Most of the other women you had slept with in recent months would be gasping for air by now, but Momo’s demeanor was cool, calm, and collected. Almost as if she was reading your mind, Momo paused her slurping and pulled her mouth off your shaft--but not forgetting to continue stroking it with achingly deft corkscrew motions.

“What’s the matter? Girls in your department not able to take care of your cock like a real woman?” Momo clicks her tongue and grins. “I’ve told you for years, you’d never be treated so poorly if you came to work for a professional outfit like ours.”

“Shut up and suck my cock.”

Momo shrugs, and gets back to the task at hand. Slobbering even more as she takes you into your mouth again, you pause to thank your lucky stars that you had a job that paid you in part to fuck women like Momo. You gaze upon her face, which has become just as messy as your cock. Momo’s sloppy blowjob has not only left liberal amounts of spit on your cock, but on her face as well--with strands of her blue hair plastered to her cheeks. Even though you thought it impossible, you feel your cock get harder at the sight of Momo’s messy face.

For several minutes, Momo continues inhaling your cock as you find yourself nearing the point of no return, you yank Momo’s head off your throbbing cock in order to prolong your session. A bit too forcefully, it seems, as Momo falls over onto her side.

“What the fuck!” yelps Momo as she picks herself back up, glaring at you. “I suck your cock and you thank me by throwing me on the ground?

“I didn’t mean to, I’m just not ready to cum yet. We both know you would’ve ignored me if I had asked you to stop.”

“I guess you’re right about that,” Momo replies sheepishly. You knew from previous run-ins with her that she loved nothing more than swallowing cum. Even though you had just denied her that favor, you were already thinking about how to make it up to her in a few minutes.

“How about I repay your kindness? Get up on the table and let me eat you.”

“Let’s skip the pleasantries. I’ll get up on the table, but you’re going to fuck me.”

“Someone’s eager to see what’s in this thumb drive,” you tease, inadvertently reminding yourself that this was a transactional liaison. You suspected that Momo’s interest in you extended beyond her desire for the information at hand, and part of you yearned to take her outside of the confines of work. You’re skeptical such a day would ever come, however, given how ambitious Momo was. 

You knew her story--she applied for a job in the Japanese spy agency several years ago, making it all the way through the process before being cut at the very end. She ended up receiving an offer shortly after one of the other finalists died in a ‘training accident’, but Momo lived with a chip on her shoulder ever since. She lived and worked with a pathological drive to prove the agency wrong in their original decision to cut her. Already the youngest lead operative in her country’s history, she had an eye on the directorship and seemed destined for it. So, you supposed, it was nice to be able to fuck her before she became famous.

Momo hops on up on the desk, hiking up her skirt to reveal a delicious-looking blue thong that matches her hair. She looks behind towards you with lust heavy in her eyes as she pulls her thong to the side, revealing her glistening pussy--already dripping, you noted.

“I don’t have all night.”

More than happy to oblige, you line your painfully throbbing cock up with her pussy and you can feel the warmth radiating from it. You take a second to appreciate Momo’s incredible physique as your hands graze downward from her upper back, to her hips, and finally to her ass. As you rub it, you cannot help but appreciate how sublimely taut it is. 

“Jeeze, you act like this is the first time you’ve seen a woman naked,” Momo jabs, interrupting your reverie.

You are starting to get annoyed with Momo’s demeanor. It was nothing new, really--she always carried an air of superiority--but it nonetheless grates on your nerves to see her be so dismissive. You are mature enough to understand that at least a part of this aggravation had to do with the fact that you knew Momo slept with plenty of men for work. Not so mature, however, to be able to stifle the primal urge deep inside of you that wanted Momo to see you as the best of all her lovers. More than ever, it seemed that sexual vanity mattered a great deal to your self-confidence.

With a renewed sense of purpose and your cock in hand, you enter Momo slowly with a long stroke until you fill her to the hilt. In unison with your initial insertion, Momo lets out a whine that crescendos as you bottom out.

As you begin to thrust in and out Momo settles in and widens her stance ever so little, which has the added benefit of allowing you to go even deeper into her warm, wet pussy. Momo was not a girl of surprises. Her face was gorgeous, capable of angelic beauty and fiery lust. Her body reflected the many hours she spent in the gym with ample breasts, insanely tight abs, and a toned ass to match. Her pussy feels exactly as sublime as her beautiful face and incredible body suggested. The perfect combination for a woman who used her body to seduce and take advantage of brainless men. You decide to push out your mind the realization that at this very moment, you are in fact one of those men.

You wanted to make sure Momo felt each and every drive into her hot flesh. Momo continued to moan quietly, each breath punctuated with a new thrust and the sound of your skin meeting hers.

“Looks like someone’s gotten real quiet all of a sudden,” you say, noticing her haughty attitude had subsided as pleasure took you both over.

“Oh, get over yourself,” Momo says, looking back at you with rekindled determination in her eyes, “you’re no better than half the guys I’ve been with. I’m here for the file, not for whatever you call this.” She cooly turns her head to face front again, leaving you seething.

Your twinge of annoyance was now a bubbling boil.

You slow down before withdrawing your cock from her warmth--Momo lets out the faintest whine of disappointment, betraying her dissatisfied front.

Just as Momo turns her head again to complain, you quickly slam your cock deep inside her. Momo yelps, and you notice her eyes bulge as you move your hips in a circular motion with your cock filled to the hilt, scraping deep inside her pussy. After several seconds of this you grab a makeshift ponytail out of her hair and yank backwards, causing her to gasp and arch her back instinctively. As much as she bothered you with her air of indifference, you had to admit that the image in front of you was the stuff of dreams.

Taking advantage of the highly erotic sight before you and the increased leverage offered by your grasp of her hair, you began to truly fuck her with quick and powerful strokes.

“Take it, Momo,” you grunted, beads of sweat beginning to form on your forehead.

Momo said nothing, emitting only breathless gasps from her open mouth. You noticed that their intensity was gradually increasing, so you increased the speed of your shaft penetrating her young, sinful body. You knew she was enjoying this, but you wouldn’t be satisfied until you broke her facade. You wanted her to lose herself to you.

You speed up even more, and the volume of your skin slapping together increases as her pussy drips wetter and wetter, mixing with your leaking precum. You are slamming your cock into her now, and Momo has to grab on to the table to steady herself. Slowly but surely her pretense was crumbling.

“You want it, don’t you Momo? You want more?”

“Fuck yeah,” Momo gasps hoarsely, struggling to speak with her hair being pulled, “Give it to me...o-oh...fuck, give it to me!”

Satisfied that she had succumbed to her pleasure, you relax your grip on her hair slightly and lean over to growl in her ear.

“I’ll give it to you. I’m gonna make sure you remember this, make sure every time you’re with another man you wish it was me.”

Momo acknowledges your promise with a deep groan, giving you great pleasure as you resumed fucking her gorgeous body.

Your eyes drift downward to her glorious ass, now shining with sweat and jiggling violently with each crash of your cock inside her. Inspired by the sight, you release her hair and put one hand on her hip and begin striking her ass with your other. Momo shrieks in surprise, but quickly looks back at you with lidded eyes while biting her lip to tell you she wanted more.

Again you oblige, and it was quickly becoming clear that lust and pleasure were staging a coup of Momo’s senses. She’s making lots of noise, but nothing intelligible. Nothing but guttural moans interspersed with high-pitched squeals. You continue spanking her ass, alternating cheeks--noticing a deep pink beginning to form on both. She’d most likely be dealing with soreness for several days after this, you think.

“You wanna cum, Momo? Cum for me, I know you want to.”

“Mmmmm...Ah, ah, AH! Unggghh,” comes Momo’s response.

“Come on Momo, fucking cum baby...cum all over this cock,” you shout, sincerely hoping there was no one working in an adjacent floor to hear.

“FUUUUCK!” Momo screams eloquently, suddenly dropping her head as her body begins convulsing. You knew what to expect having slept with her before, but you are nonetheless surprised to see how completely overtaken her body was by pleasure. Her upper body jerks spastically as her legs tremble with your cock plunged deep inside her pussy, all the while letting out a high-pitched whine that turns into a soft whimper. Just a few minutes before she was defiant and happy to throw insults at you...now she was a mewling, writhing mess incapable of speaking. The dark, primal part of you is satisfied by her tacit recognition of your talent.

After a short while, Momo begins to compose herself and lifts her upper body from the table. You take it as a sign to slowly resume taking your cock in and out of her. You decide to give her now glowing pink ass a rest and caress her back, tracing long lines with your nails.

“Mmmmm, that feels good,” Momo says, her eyes still closed, “you fuck me so good.”

You slowly begin ramping up the pace, rolling your hips with each stroke. You want to make sure your cock pleases every inch of Momo’s pussy, and make sure it craves you when she’s alone at night. 

After several minutes of this tender, softer version of lovemaking, Momo comes back to her senses. She arches her back again and turns her head to gaze in your eyes as you continue to take her. She begins to move her ass back and forth on your cock in unison with your own strokes.

“Oh my god, you feel so good in my fucking pussy! Every...fucking...stroke!” Momo gasps, the final words punctuated by the force of her majestic ass crashing against your cock.

“You’re a bad girl, Momo,” you tease, “you like being taken and shown who’s boss, don’t you? You like me grabbing your hair and slapping your ass?”

“Yes!” she gasps, “Yes I love it! Mmmmm...I want you to fuck me until you cum. Fuck me until you cum!”

There was no command in the world easier to follow.

Satisfied that you had fulfilled your vain, immature desire to see her acknowledge your skill as a lover, you now focus yourself on extracting pleasure from the young woman beneath you. You settle into a pace with rough strokes, fiercely pounding her over and over. Your pleasure rises with each thrust, aided not only by the mindblowing caress of her pussy, but by the incredible sight of Momo on all fours before you moaning with each strike of your cock inside her.

“Fuck Momo...I don’t think I have much longer, I’m gonna fucking cum so hard!”

“Yes,” comes the response from Momo, “Yes, yes! Fucking cum baby, I want your cum so bad!”

A few more thrusts and you can feel the point of no return coming. For a brief moment you contemplate cumming inside Momo, to truly claim her. You quickly reconsider, wanting to give her what she truly wanted--to swallow your load.

And so, you quickly withdraw your cock from Momo’s now sopping wet pussy and she instinctively turns around and drops to her knees on the floor. Stroking your cock with great fervor, her mouth wide open begging for what was to come.

“Please give me your cum, please, please! I want it...I need it! Cum for me!”

Your head tilts backward as a long groan escapes your lips. Your cum explodes from your shaft, shooting long, thick ropes of semen into her mouth and onto her cheeks and nose. Over and over, your cum splashes on her beautiful face until you finally reach the end of your orgasm, panting and exhausted. Momo’s face is a pornographic picture of lust, her eyes rolled back in pleasure as she swallows the mass of cum you deposited in her mouth.

“I fucking love your cum,” Momo says as she wipes the remaining cum off her face with her finger and promptly brings it to her tongue before swallowing it down as well.

“I’m glad we were both able to get what we wanted,” you say, struggling to catch your breath.

“Speaking of getting what I wanted…” Momo says, nodding her head to the part of the floor where the USB drive now sits, evidently thrown from the table during the session that had just taken place.

“Right,” you say, suddenly remembering you’re here for work, “make a copy and let’s get out of here.”

“Great,” says Momo, still on the floor with a satisfied smile of content on her face, “Hey, I meant what I said about having you join our team. As much shit as I give you, we could really use someone with your talent.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m better off staying put. Don’t think the Korean government would let me live if I tried defecting.”

“Probably true,” says Momo as she begins picking up her clothes, “Never hurts to ask, though.”

***

A few minutes later, you and Momo had both gotten dressed and copied the file onto a drive for her. Momo disappeared into an adjoining hallway and you set off to traverse the stairwell again. As you prepare yourself for the descent, you also steel yourself for the repercussions of giving the intel to a foreign spy agency. With the information you saw in the file, you knew the Japanese would have to be looped in sooner or later. If it was going to happen eventually, you thought it made the most sense to entrust that intel to the agent on the other side you knew would make sure things got done correctly. As logical as it seemed to you, however, you knew it wouldn’t be taken well back at the office.

You click on your comms link, now knowing there’s nothing to fear. 

“Hey Choa, I’m on my way back to the rendezvous.”

“Oh thank god! That took forever, I was about to call for a tac team!” Choa sighs with audible relief, “I take it you got everything you needed?”

“Got more than I needed, actually,” you say, nervous about Choa’s reaction to what you say next, “Listen, there’s one small thing you should know...”

“You did WHAT?!”

[notasiren21]

26 for Lukanette WIPs please. :)

26. Party Crasher!Luka

I FUCKED UP AND JUST WROTE IT I GUESS???

Party Crasher

-Lukanette oneshot

“You mean to tell me Agreste ditched you? After all that pleading to let him take you to the party for your successful launch line for next season, he’s ditched you?”

“Kagami, don’t kill him.”

“Fine, remind me why I can’t though? This is such an ass move of his if he’s trying to prove he’s the one for you.”

“Because,” Marinette grits out, faking a toothy smile to a work couple that waves from passing, “I want to castrate and kill him myself.”

Kagami laughs roughly in surprise, “Why the castration?”

“So I can fit his small ass into the tightest pair of skinny jeans we have for our tall teenage girls.” The not so stoic girl sips on her wine, pleased with her friend’s rage. “I told him I haven’t been interested since we were 14, but him thinking I’ll forgive him if I even had a silver of interest in dating him? Fuck him.”

“Or,” Kagami drawls, long nails tapping the stem of her glass as she leans to peer over her friend’s shoulder, “You could fuck him instead?”

Mari gasps in offense, “I am NOT trying for a one night stand, no matter what you guys say.”

“No, you little mouse,” she admonishes, fully heartedly agreeing with the sentiment, “I just mean your big and handsome protective snake is here to save the day.”

Marinette’s mind took a second longer to click the pieces together, trying to make sense of Kagami’s nicknames for her friend group, before her heart thudded and she slowly turned.

There, passing by the models who had walked in Marinette’s designs and batted their false lashes at the rockstar, was Luka Couffaine.

Dressed to the nines in a very punk like and sophisticated way that revealed he very much wanted to impress her and did in fact listen to her fashion advice. Black skinny jeans only he could pull off, high top converse and a white button up with a black vest to overlay it. The cheeky and handsome bastard forgoing the tie to leave one too many buttons undone and his sleeves rolled up to reveal his tattoos.

Oh, on the life of his cat Sass was she proud of him.

And maybe drooling just a little?

He approached her, a sly smile working its way to his lips as he eyed her up and down, eyes shining bright at her black low cocktail that she paired with navy blue heels.

So maybe she sometimes used Luka as a whole for inspiration.

He raised a hand, finger wrapping around a loose curled tendril out of an elegantly messy low bun, “I thought it was the models you were supposed to make the stars of the show.”

“Had I known you were gonna show up, I would’ve worn one of my bests here.”

His hand froze, “This isn’t your best? You tease,” he broke out in a grin. His hand moved further, thumbing at the collection of piercings in her ear he accompanied her with to get years ago. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

“Well, I’m suddenly glad I can only acknowledge this as awkward and not feel it.” Kagami noted into her class. Her phone buzzed, electing a sigh from her as she began turning. “Have fun, my mother decided to remind me why this wine was a good idea to have before she came.”

She watched her friend walk away, her other -her best friend and other half, remained taking her in and stroking the soft spot under her ear he once claimed with a mark-

The one time they admitted their crushes and strong attraction towards the other the night before he left for tour years ago.

It was the only time Luka had indulged himself in his wants and desires, the only time he had asked to and still provided her with an out. And now he still remains far off in her memories, even as he stands in front of her with that look on his face years later.

“How did you,” she swallows when his soft gaze flicks back up to her eyes with his full attention. “How did you get in? It’s a ticket only event.”

He shrugged, turning to offer her an arm and walk around. “I may or may not have seen Adrien’s post about his mom and dad going to a gala event and him going to see his cousin there. Seems like that took precedence I guess.”

Marinette huffed low, “Félix has been in town for three weeks. Adrien and I had lunch with him the other day.”

Luka stilled as a busboy stopped in front of them, offering them glasses of champagne. Luka’s nose twitched, then his lip as he turned away with a polite smile. Marinette shook her head in turn as well.

“You know you don’t have to pass just because of me, right?”

“Hey, we do this ‘young 20 some year olds unable to drink alcohol’ in solidarity together.” He cracked a smile at that, “Soda is my alcohol.”

“Alright, you can be an honorary member of the alcohol intolerance club.” Luka laughed when she hummed gleefully. “Dork.”

“Nerd.”

“So, back on topic, Adrien just really had no excuse then?”

“Ha, no, even his dad stopped by an hour ago to congratulate me and get press photos done to promote the line. All his son did for me was send a text with a sad face attached to his cancellation.”

“... I can kick his ass, you know?”

“I know, I’m just saving for a rainy day.” She laughed, stepping closer to his side and wrapping both arms around his. “So, the ticket, you party crasher.”

“Right, yeah, I may or may not have called your assistant earlier today to swipe it. I took a guess that she held onto it for safe keeping so-,”

“She’s new, I’m not surprised she just gave it up that easily.” She let Luka guide her into a dance. One hand with painted black holding hers to his chest, the other gently tugging to hold his shoulder before he held her waist.

“Oh, that, that explains a lot now.”

“What?”

He flinched, a nervous glint flashing across his features. “I may or may not have lied about who exactly I was since she didn’t know my name-,”

“Doesn’t listen to your music, already told her the sin she was committing.”

“And who I was to you, specifically-,”

Marinette tilted her head back in a laugh, Luka’s arm tightening to brace her weight, “You said you were my husband, didn’t you?”

He flushes at a memory of once getting a creep off her back a year ago by claiming that very title to her.

“Erm, no, I said I was your boyfriend and may have sold it by saying some pet name and swooning over you just a little,” he watched her eyes go wide then soft, a smile twitching to show. He stepped closer, almost pulling her flush to him, “But if that’s what you want, I can go out and get some marriage certificate?”

She flushed, lips parting and a rush of air passing them.

“Maybe call Jagged up and fly us to Vegas? I mean, we’re both looking good right now, you more so.” Her face went a shade or two deeper. She jumped in surprise when he let go of her hand to play with a tendril again on the right side, tilting her face to press a kiss to her left cheek. “God, you’re such a pretty little thing.”

She squeaked.

“What, what was the pet name?”

“Hm?” He lazily met her gaze, a dream like haze filter over them as he moved her body to sway with his. “Oh, that.”

“What was it?”

Baby, babygirl, beautiful, gorgeous- he may have said more than one.

He gave a slow and wicked grin, twirling her out and back into his chest in a swift and stunning movement as he nudged his nose to hers.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He teased, smile spreading wider and radiant as she forgot to breathe for a second.

What. A fucking. Tease.

The need for him to make good on his words and looks hit through her hard and reminded her of their one night together that they both never forgotten. And how much she wished that was every night, as long as it ended up with them curled right around each other and love and happiness coaxing them to sleep instead of stress and loneliness.

He watched her steel her gaze, her jaw tightened. He swallowed when her height, now of five feet thanks to heels, straightened and forced him to pull up. A violent shiver rocked through him when both hands held along the back of his neck, one slipping under the collar of his shirt to scratch along the nape.

“Marinette-,” he choked.

“I’m only asking so I can show my reciprocation.” She leaned closer, kicking her shoes off into some corner and standing on his converse that every elder of theirs had eyed in question during the night. He supported her actions fully, of course. Still stepping them around in dance within a fluid motion. “Not gonna tell me, hun?”

He coughed, loudly and looked away from her to catch his breath. Watching adults cheat on spouses everywhere or everyone else minding their own business to stare at models or the shrimp on the tables.

He almost tripped when she wined in protest, her hand gripping his chin lightly and turning it to face her. His eyes were flickering between admiration, lust and love, growing three shades of deeper blue than was possible.

“C’mon, baby, tell me.”

“Baby?” He stammered out in surprise. Teenage Luka was having a fucking field day with this. “Marinette, I was only joking earlier and-,”

“Were you really though?”

“No,” his response was fast and instant, a wince playing at the corner of his eyes and his button nose scrunching in loss of control.

“Hey handsome,” he preened under the nickname passing her lips, even if close to millions called him the same thing, it paid more effect when it was Marinette calling him it. “Tell me why you came tonight.”

His neck was aching from staring down to meet her eyes now that the heels were gone but he let himself down lower to press his forehead to hers. “Because you deserve better than what he gives you.”

The girl stilled, expecting an awkward or a flirtatious remark. “What?”

The rockstar looked away sheepishly, a little ashamed. “I know you’re considering getting with him, but when I heard he was canceling on you I let my jealousy win out and I just wanted to be there for you.” He bit his lip when he felt her tugging his face back in her direction, choosing to resist the pressure. “You have to believe me when I say I came with no ulterior motives other than protecting you from going stag to your own party tonight.”

“You, you came to protect me?”

He shrugged, another small shiver racking through him when her hands moved along and glided across his neck. “And make sure you had a good night. I even asked your mom what you were wearing tonight just so I could make sure my outfit complimented yours to cheer you up.”

She was silent for a minute or so, and he waited, patiently as ever and guiding her to rest her head against his chest as he swayed them.

Luka, doing all the work. Luka, taking matters into his own hands when someone fails her. Luka, going the extra mile to make sure she has a happy memory.

Fuck giving second chances to other people. Luka is the only one to have shown her he’s the most earning of the concept and notion.

She pulls away, feeling the slight reluctance in his arms on her waist before they drop to his side, “Grab my heels.”

He raises a black brow but complies, turning to find them and hooking his fingers in the backs. He eyes them, used to seeing her shoes laying around the Liberty when she comes over or even at her own place, but he always has to remark that, “You have small feet.”

“You’ve also called them cute,” she huffs, tugging on his hand and pulling him near the entrance.

He follows, like they always do for one another. “Because they are- where are we going?” He stops them as they round an empty corridor, away from the hotel’s event room where the party is still very much happening. The heel of his palm grips tight to archway, pressing against it, the small shoes still dangling in his hold.

“Home, your place or mine. Actually, mine’s closer.”

He laughs brightly, “You can’t ditch your own party for another movie night, Mari.”

The petite girl turns to him, a fierce expression in his eyes that makes him swallow harshly. “No, but I can ditch to celebrate in getting what I really want. For finally getting what I want.”

“The Chinese takeout place is closed this time of ni-,”

“You.”

“What?” Luka wheezes, he blinks stupidly at her. Prettily and stupidly. He straightens, freehand tugging at his collar a little like he needs room to breathe. “Come again?”

“I’m going home. I’m taking you with me. And we’re gonna celebrate that I finally got off my ass and got what I wanted.”

He hums, nervously and a bounce starting in his hand, a shake in one hand, his dark brows furrow, “And you want?”

“You.”

“You- you want,” he sucks in a sharp breath, pain flashing across his features as he clears his throat. “You want me?”

Her eyes soften, a smile showing as she steps closer to him and takes his face into her hands, pulling him down to be eye level with her as he braces his weight on the wall next to them with a hand.

“Yes,” he looks awestruck as she giggles. “I want you... can you let me keep you?”

He laughs nervously, “I’ll fucking sell myself to you if that’s what you really want, fuck.”

She’s smiling, leaning up on tiptoes to alleviate the strain in his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips, muffling the undignified noise of surprise that escapes him. She lets him get used to her for a second, kissing him slowly and purposely as starts to eventually overcome the shock and kiss her back in reverence.

He pulls away suddenly, a guilted expression on his face.

“Wait, wait. What about Adrien?”

“What about him?”

Luka fidgets, a quick glimpse of insecurities and jealousy showing to her before he regains a semblance of control after having his walls knocked down. “He’s been trying to go out with you, win you affections.”

He only knows of the situation, but never presses her to talk about it. It’s natural for it to come up in conversation everyday when he asks her about work knowing the stress of being twenty-two in a high end fashion company could be a bit more than overwhelming. He wanted to be a safe place to her since the beginning.

“There’s nothing about him. I’ve shut him down an handful of times and now it’s just a matter of letting him indulge himself in what he thinks are romantic gestures when me saying no doesn’t cut it. There’s nothing going on between him and I, just his belief that my crush from years ago accounts for something today.”

Luka still looks wary and isn’t touching her, most likely his conscious trying to be the better person between him and Adrien by not going out with the girl his friend is pining after.

Even if said girl is Luka’s legitimate best friend and the very same girl he’s been in love with since he was a kid.

Marinette feels like it’s a dirty tactic as she gets closer to him, trying to gauge where it’s jealousy and where it’s insecurity in regards to Adrien.

She presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Luka’s head turns minutely at the attention, tilting less than a centimeter to catch her lips before he catches himself. He struggles when her next kiss falls to his lips and is soft and slow, how he always wants to kiss her.

“Remember our first kiss?” She whispers, wounding arms around his waist and pressing close to him.

He matches her volume, an adoring look winning for a split second, “Of course I remember.”

“Remember our first date?”

“At the ice cream parlor, you wore a pink skirt that kept twirling when you did.” She feels his resolve break a little, his own right to be selfish with her slipping out a little.

His arms slip around her, and he presses a gentle kiss to her temple. “Remember our goodbye at the airport?” His arms tightening around her speak more volumes than his strained, “Yes,” does.

She’s just a little closer to convincing him to stop being so sacrificial with his own wants or needs. She just has to push more.

“Remember waking up in one another’s arms that morning?”

He’s silent for a few seconds, thinking of what he can say in response to that. Wondering how honest to be, “... every day, I think of that morning every day.”

She still hears the clipped apprehension in his voice. That tone she knows so well that’s gonna lead into him giving her advice to rethink this whole decision and talk to him when she’s absolutely sure. How she shouldn’t think on impulse and lunge at what she wants unless she knows she does wanna keep with it.

But, he has to know she always thinks back on moments with him and that she longs to have jumped on impulse if it meant being with him.

Every time he’s showed up with takeout at her place. When he smiles so freely at her. When he bandages her cuts and blisters from working all night long.

When he showed up tonight looking like he had been her dare to begin with. How her heart felt when he admitted to lying to her secretary. The way he looked carrying her high heels that were much too small for his hands but he didn’t care because she asked him to.

How he crashed her own party to make sure she’d have fun tonight.

She’s sure she wants this, him.

All those nicknames they could call each other. All the benefits of dating the other and having a date to everything the other needs to attend. Having her best friend be her boyfriend meaning there’s no holding back from anything.

She’ll cringe about it in the morning, but it’s gotta work to break his long instilled fear of being a bad friend or person. Of being unselfish.

“Do you still remember that night?”

She’s sure he’s stopped breaking by the way his entire body seems to shut down, but then it reboots and he’s shaking against her and can’t seem to breathe correctly, his eyes avoiding hers as he swallows again and looking like he’s willing to risk going into an allergic reaction for the sake of one drink.

“That- that’s not something you forget, Marinette.” His hands are twitching on her waist, grip tightening just a little and a vein is jumping in his arm to do something to prove he remembers alright.

One more push, “Do you still remember how I tasted that night?”

He seizes her waist, lunging to kiss her desperately like he did that night and when he left, a growl passing his lips onto hers. He’s cupping the back of her neck, fingers threading through her hair, breathing her in and shaking against her as his resolves breaks completely and the selfish side comes out. The one that’s nowhere near as selfish as the average person, but enough to take in the matter of his own needs and wants. He pulls back, letting her watch his eyes darken, the pupils expanding until the blues are next to near mere ridges of color. He’s watching hers do the same before he nudges her nose and kisses her slowly, more loving and affectionate. His control slipping back into place and resulting in the Luka she so loves regaining the handles of his own mind.

He’s careful in the way he tugs her lip with his teeth, how he coaxes her to let him kiss her fully before pull back and panting against her lips.

“Yes, I remember,” his voice is rough and he has to glance away from her and straighten. She watches him take a few meditative breaths before he looks back at her.

“Does that really help?” She gestures to his chest and mouth, “the breathing?”

He laughs hollowly, “No, not really, but it bought me time to create some distance in this,” he glances around, “Not your apartment place.”

She laughs at the suddenly horrified look that crosses his face, the image of them making out and the threat of almost being caught in public instantly dawning on him. He glares playfully at her.

“You did that all on purpose.”

“Had to, you were just about to give me up for the sake of being a good friend to me and Adrien.” She pauses, a wicked idea forming to prove her point, “Unless, you want Adrien to know what that all is like?”

A dark look crosses Luka’s face; unrestrained bouts of suppressed jealousy, possessiveness and territoriality. “No,” he growls out, eyes squeezing shut and having to clear his throat. “I’d rather not let him know any of that personally.”

“Not even how I taste?”

“Marinette,” he warned, the growl resurfacing. She cooed, wrapping him up in a hug and pressing a kiss to his jaw as an apology. He whined, “It’s not funny when you do that.”

“No, but everything you feel is alright to feel. Don’t hold back for the sake of not being selfish. You can be selfish with me, you’re a reasonable guy and know boundaries.” She sighed, nuzzling further into his warm embrace. “I don’t like Adrien the way he wants me to, and lately, it’s hard to even be his friend. He needs to move on from me. Hell, I’m better friends with Félix now than him.”

“Just hope they don’t switch up on you again.”

She huffed in amusement. “God no, I’d kill them.”

“It’s adorable how how your less than five feet body resorts to violence and death threats.”

“Mm, except you, I’m quite fond of you.” She looks up at him, chin pressed to his chest and smiling when he looks at her softly and presses a kiss to her nose. “This, us, is not an impulse. Just a restrained want I’ve had for awhile.”

“Okay, I understand now.”

She grins cheekily at him, “Or need, if that makes you all possessive hot yet secretly adorable rockstar boyfriend mode again.”

“Boyfriend?” He smiled slowly, radiant as always and heart stopping. “If teenage me could hear you, he’d probably shut down from being overwhelmed.”

“Nineteen year old you certainly didn’t that night,” she mumbles, grinning at the loud bark of laughter that surprises the both of them when Luka throws his head back.

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me what age I lost it at, totally rockstar of me, right?” The blush that’s coating his neck and ears is adorable, a shy smile quirking at her briefly.

“I think it’s sweet, cute even.”

“Yeah, because you’re the one I lost it to.” He deadpanned without conviction. “But, I guess I’ll take being sweet and cute.”

“It’s okay though, I mean, I did the cliché of losing my virginity to someone I was in love with.” Luka does in fact shut down in her embrace hearing that. Hands jittering against her and fingers tapping like he’s trying to speak through notes against her skin.

He takes another minute, before pressing a kiss to her hair. “If this is you confessing your love to me -and believe me, it’s killing me to stop you right now, I’d rather you do it in regards to another topic and not the fact that we were one another’s first time.” He avoids the dangerous smirk aimed his way, or the sharp angle of her cocked, black brow above breathtaking blues. “C’mon, let’s go dance some more and celebrate your success before we leave, maybe find your assistant to introduce me as your boyfriend to.”

She pours at him when he tugs on her hand in the direction of the party. “But-,”

He breathed out shakily, a waning patient look in his eyes and a false smirk aimed at her. “Can I sleep over tonight?”

“Do you want to?”

“Yes,” he breathed. “I’m very close to just following you home at this point, trust me. I don’t care how the night ends, just as long as it’s you and me tonight.”

She’s letting him make them dance again, feeling as the nerves leave his body as he gets them to fall in step with the tempo. He doesn’t care that he has to bend a little ways down to rest his cheek on her hair, not when she’s letting him pull her up against his chest when she typically only reaches the bottom of his rib cage.

They work well together, they fit perfectly together because they’re more than used to the instinctive adapting to one another.

Her hands cup his cheeks, kissing him carefully without reservation and the anxiety, “It was only an impulse at times because I love you and have for awhile.”

Luka deepens the kiss just a little, thankful she’s the type of girlfriend to let him indulge in her as he smiles, “I get it, I’ve had my share of impulsive thoughts for as long as I’ve been in love with you since we were young. I love you, Mari.”

“Enough to crash a party for me, apparently,” she whispered, a little moved by the thought that they were finally together. He thumbed her tears away.

“Enough to kill Adrien or Félix if you ask me to,” he replied in a loving tone, soothing her gasps for air when she broke apart in giggles against his chest in reaction.

He didn’t leave after that night. And he went to every party as her date too.

[ailynisrandom]

Mr and Mrs Button was like any other Family.

Except they weren’t really… They were shirts.

Mr Button grew up in a small village named Tailorton. It was full of life and thread… lots and lots of thread.

Mrs Button had an interesting upbringing, her mother was a rag queen dressing up and hitting the town and little button had to go everywhere with her. This was good as the little button got exposed to many types of fashion but her love would always be plaid… she was bi after all.

Mr Button’s parents were trousers… many people didn't see the family resemblance however their asses? Were extremely similar some would say that the small boy was the ass of their eye… actually no who even says that? No one wants an ass as an eye.

Mrs Buttons parents were a set of very sophisticated blazers, really knowing how to fit in and keep everything nice and tidy. Mrs Araboob Button’s sibling Didi Bra, really let the family down when she changed her name to Fifi because well y’know.

She had a lot to uphold and I guess the pressure just got to her. She had an unfortunate accident where her back snapped and she got emergency surgery to replace things… but her spine was never the same; it had to be held together by wire.

When Mr and Mrs Button first met they hated each other, they really did rub each other the wrong way so much so the hair on each of their heads stuck up… you could really see and feel the tension in the air.

Then one day a flash and a spark got lit up between them… they were hanging out at the local club The Lint Dump and they literally got sparked… and then kicked out (because you know sparks and lint very dangerous a big liability and things makes the insurance policy for these places go through the roof.)

Mr and Mrs Blazer didn’t care for these sparks at all… (even though their name was blazer you’d think something would go right… their romantic relationship was about as dead as… well a limp shoelace)

They tried day and night to keep the two teens away from each other but the static electricity just meant their love powered on through the night… (and day… and kept everyone up in the village with the incessant white noise buzzing… unless they were near each other.)

(for context this is what happens when @goldenstoriesfromgoldenhearts and I start talking at 11pm and they tell me that salsa got on their shirt… ) I am sorry for grammar and stuff… sleep deprivation is bad for you kids! This is only part one… I will post part two after sleep.

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: BEARD EDITS IN REAL LIFE!

Date video was published: 12/07/2020 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 428

There was a bit of warning for this video, with this Insta poll. And then Phil promoed this one SO MUCH for some reason - including an Instagram grid post and a link in his Instagram bio. Also he shared these outtakes, which 😂

0:00 - no hello, just jumping straight into this one. also, the shared denim jacket!

0:07 - he doesn’t know what to think about the edits of himself. I love that he doesn’t seem to find the fact that there are edits strange

0:09 - “work that beard, dad” alrighty

0:19 - I’m just going to say now that I am not on team beard

0:42 - that emoji was very useful for this video

0:47 - he knows this video is going to be ridiculous; so many little laughs at himself

0:51 - it does! that one looks pretty realistic though

1:00 - they’re getting progressively more disturbing

1:18 - I love all the title cards he uses in this

1:32 - I can’t not laugh

1:38 - Phil’s descriptions 😂 he’s inventing a whole character for mustache-him

1:46 - this in-between footage is a treat. also he’s put it on so crooked

2:01 - the on-the-spot comedy while filming combined with the editing comedy...Phil is so great

2:06 - “I’m the gay police” 😂 I forgot how funny this video is

2:12 - I would love to see a top ten list of what Phil thinks is a “cool” name. at least he’s expanded from “Zack”

2:22 - he is really ripping those off intensely

2:35 - his eyes look slightly scared

2:43 - “do you wanna scratch my knees” Phil why

3:03 - already regretting this

3:11 - so much laughing at himself. I love giggly Phil

3:18 - oh I would say it looks pretty bad...

3:20 - slightly scared that he was into that one, though it is the one that matches his hair best

3:24 - where did that even come from

3:31 - for some reason I immediately thought of (and the bottom half of this beard is somewhat like) the character “Philip” from the board game Guess Who

3:42 - I did start to get used to his one as he kept talking and I don’t know what that says

3:50 - those were a lot of noises

4:05 -  not sure any fake beard can be described as “sophisticated”

4:13 - “maybe these two could be friends...now kiss” um.

4:32 - ooo this one is not good

4:34 - 😂 he must have given up and had Dan help him take the photos afterwards, for the one he posted and such

5:07 - he had posted that back in May 2019, but only in black and white

5:19 - opening every package with his teeth

5:35 - we have gone beyond the realm of anything that looks realistic

5:40 - could have lived without hearing Phil say that 😳

5:51 - if he can actually see with his glasses here, does that mean he was filming without contacts or glasses?

6:11 - 😂😂 oh Phil. the annotation self-call out

6:38 - he’s very into that one hahaha

6:48 - I feel like he has that one up too high on his face

6:56 - king of comedy. Phil wins

7:14 - I feel like he half-assed the clipping there. also, flashback to the hair lights from 6 Things I Regret Buying

7:42 - he needed to think a bit more about the glue placement first

8:10 - I would imagine just having glue on your face like that would feel strange

8:26 - if he was a little neater about it it would

8:50 - waiting to see if he does ever attempt it for a while...I feel like it would end up annoying him but who knows

8:53 - “don’t do too much...beard application” and the little eyebrow raise. 😳 in hindsight this feels like a precursor to the chaotic-Phil of the stereo show era and some of his 2021 videos

9:02 - Phil had released his winter merch the week before this

9:42 - and he really does mean “very” soon this time

In Answering Questions I Would Usually Avoid, Phil showed his “script” for this video, which is hilarious and accurate. He ended up doing the viking beard before the grey beard though. And he didn’t note the beard lights on there, so maybe why he forgot during filming too!

Definitely a ridiculous (in a good way) and also hilarious Phil video. I forgot how funny he was in this one.

[shirophantomvox]

Chrollo, Hisoka, and Illumi Headcanons

Chrollo, Hisoka, Illumi, and Leorio headcanons

Hello, anon! I am so sorry for taking longer than usual to respond to this post. I have been so busy with A LOT lately but I have time now! I don’t know if you want N/SFW, romantic or non so I’ll go based on what comes to mind! I know many Tumblr users have made these types of assumptions for them a lot but I wanted to join in. I started writing this last night so forgive me if there are any unbearable grammar errors. I hope you like it anon, I tried my best. I have to work on my headcanons for them because I try to keep them in character. Since we don’t have much background info on ⅔, I have to keep it as realistic as possible. FYI N/SFW content is mentioned.

Discord for Voltron and HxH fans

Let’s start with Chrollo.

Chrollo (SFW)

I’ve seen on here that a lot of you headcanon Chrollo to be an understanding man when it comes to feelings for his significant other. Given his soft voice and calm demeanor, I’m sure that is somewhat true.

It seems like Chrollo isn’t on board with over-the-top PDA meaning he would agree to hand-holding and his arm around you but nothing more. He saves the...other stuff for when you two are alone. Because of Chrollo’s past, it seems like he wouldn’t want to be seen in public that much because that can cause him to get caught by the authorities.

He takes your safety very seriously. You understand that when he is with the Phantom Troupe that you are not to interrupt until the business is over. He doesn’t allow you to get involved with the missions because of how dangerous they can be (example: the auction). He knows you can handle it, he prefers for you not to be involved. Feelings and work can make things difficult.

Although Chrollo hides in the shadows, I imagine he lives in a penthouse with expensive furniture, white and black color pattern, and large windows that have an astonishing view of Yorknew.

After you both have worked long and hard, you open the door just to see the lights dimmed so dark that it matches the night atmosphere. There are rose petals leading to the bathroom where a bubble bath is waiting. As you enter the bathroom, your boyfriend is waiting there, submerged in bubbles sticking his arms out. Candles light up the tiny room casting a romantic shadow from your body. You grab his hand and gently sit in the tub. The warm water felt amazing; it helped your aching muscles (from exercising) feel better. Chrollo gently grabbed your arm and pulled you into a warm, loving embrace. He wrapped his toned arms around your body and rested his chin on your shoulder. He didn’t say a word but instead breathed heavily, kissed your shoulder, and leaned back against the wall. On days like this, he didn’t say much but his actions spoke louder than words.

Chrollo NSFW

I think Chrollo is a passionate lover. This assumption comes from his calm demeanor. He seems to be incredibly patient so if you aren’t positioning yourself the right way or something, he’ll work with you to make sure you get it and you are comfortable.

He is touchy. That means during the nitty-gritty, he likes to touch your face, chin, lips, and your torso as a way to show more affection.

When he is in the mood, he moves slowly then very fast. He cannot resist the urges and feelings he has for you.

He loves to do this while the drapes are open although you have expressed that you like your privacy. It’s ironic. He doesn’t like extreme PDA but is ok with sleeping with you while the lights from the city shine near your penthouse window. Ah, guys are confusing.

After the climax, he lays flat on the bed and pulls you close. He leaves about an inch in between because heat is still radiating off your bodies and it’s summertime.

Hisoka (SFW) If his significant other was shy.

People have mixed feelings about Hisoka, feelings, and whether or not if he is gentle or not. I don’t think that Hisoka is gentle but begins to lay off the harsh jokes or pranks as he sees that you both have fought before and you’re not as weak as he thought.

Unlike Chrollo, he is all for PDA. This ranges from hand holding to playful kisses to passionate kisses. When I saw Hisoka for the first time, I immediately thought he was a fuck boy. A fuck boy is a boy that is only interested in sleeping with someone and doesn’t intend on pursuing a relationship.

He’d take the pleasure of appreciating your presence as well as testing your patience. If you are shy and are easily flustered, he will change that. He’ll do things like kissing you, calling you affectionate names, or anything that will cause you to respond. You hit him jokingly. Still not getting the message, he continues and you hit him harder. This is where he releases a medium moan which causes everyone to look in your direction. You freeze; face flushed and he’s laughing his ass off.

“What’s the matter,” he asks, covering his mouth. “You look flushed~♥.”

“You’re doing too much. Stop playing around! People are staring~💯.” You cover the side of your face. True enough you were a little mortified but in a good way. You knew he did this because he liked you but sometimes he played too much.

This is when he pulls you closer to his face, your ear next to his mouth, and whispers something in your ear that sent chills down your spine that made you blush more than before. He nearly puckered his lips as he spoke. He took his index finger and thumb to caress your cheek.

“Raising your voice at me? That simply won’t do. Aren’t you aware of the consequences~♥?”

You knew better than to not say anything because he would cup your cheeks and pull you into a deep kiss, and wouldn’t let go until he was sure that everyone was looking.

Both of you enjoy red, white, and rose wine. To him, wine equals classiness and sophistication. After fighting each other for hours (which he considers training for you and exercise for him) drinking wine and watching Lifetime (television for idiots) is a great way to end the night.

NSFW

As stated above, I originally thought that Hisoka was a fuck boy, so I am going to roll with that thought. This man has the potential of being rough and if he is too rough this is the time where you can speak up and say so. He’ll listen to you. Similar to Chrollo, he can be very romantic if he wants to. The rose petals gimmick was played out.

Instead, he hides in the darkest part of the living room waiting for you.

You turn on the lights and immediately head to the kitchen to drink a bottle of ice-cold water. Summer nights in Yorknew were hot and humid, almost unbearable. It felt like you were being suffocated. Becoming impatient, Hisoka clears his throat loudly causing you to nearly jump out of your skin; choking on the water you were drinking. He released a sexy chuckle. When you turned around, there stood your chiseled buff boyfriend bare with a ribbon tied in various directions around his body. Your birthday was two days ago and he was your gift. Although you have seen him like this before, for some reason you were too flustered to make a move. He already knew that you were tired from work, so he carried you in his arms to the Exercise Room and laid you gently on the floor. You smiled as a rush or passion took over your body resulting in you tearing off the ribbon tightly wrapped around his body. Since this was your birthday gift, he made it a night you’d remember forever! Surprisingly, no roughhousing, just soft and gentle. This proves that Hisoka has the capability of being humane. His strokes were to your liking and the gazes that you both exchanged were mind-blowing. Why couldn’t he be this way all the time? After it all, you fell asleep at her quickly. You were on the floor but now on top of your king-sized bed, with the message control on high. He stayed awake, watching TV, and thought about how he was going to pick a fight with you at the crack of dawn.

Hisoka’s ability to flirt and send the intended person swooning is a talent of itself. Lots of people do not possess this talent. Sometimes it's intentional and sometimes it's not. He speaks softly and smoothly, are he has to do is ask and it shall be done.

Illumi SFW

Illumi gives the impression that he is a “quiet” freak. This means that true enough he is focused on his job but if the moment comes along he will give in. He isn’t into PDA at all and if he does feel like showing some affection it will be done in private. Even though he appears to be a zombie, laying on or even cuddling with his significant other will help him relax for once. Imagine having to complete many missions in a day, exhausted, and have a wonderful person waiting to act as a human pillow for your weary head. Even Illumi can’t resist that.

If he likes you and plans to marry you, he will make that known to everyone to avoid confusion. Illumi represents the stereotypical shy boy; he is anti-social, prefers to only be around people he knows and trusts, and carries out the duties of his job.

After everything has been completed for the day, he wouldn’t mind ( and secretly begs) for silent cuddles with his significant other and to just fall asleep. At this point, you are used to it so this is all you want and you are satisfied. When he does talk, it’s usually about something he found out from work that he knows should be kept quiet but he tells you anyway. Late nights are the time of day where Illumi vents for a few hours. The details of these vent sessions could range anywhere from “I wish you were there to see it” to “No, it would be too much���. As quiet and reserve as he is, his love is shown in a unique way that you have grown accustomed to.

NSFW

When the urge slaps him across the face like a sack of rocks, he cannot resist. Usually, he fights off the urge by exercising (mainly because you are out of the house or sleep) but this time he couldn’t shake it.

Before he gets started with anything, he styles his long hair in the shape of a bun so it doesn’t get in the way of action.

Although he is portrayed to be an emotionless zombie, he has some feeling deep inside him that he unleashes just for you. This is shown by gentle moist kisses being placed along your neck and once he reaches your shoulder that is when you wake up. Halfway through your sleepy eyes, you see a man with a devilish smile painted across his face. Who is this man? This couldn’t be your boyfriend. No way, no how.

Once he sees your sleepy smile, he just releases so many kisses that you throw the blanket off and he pulls you in closer.

Illumi will allow you both to switch the roles meaning he is in charge one time and you are on another day. Since you were still asleep, he decided to take on the role. He is surprisingly gentle in the beginning but as soon as it takes off, your ride him like a donkey. It ironic; he releases more noises than you! You have to remind him that noise travels! Great, you’re doing your job well! While it is important to take your job seriously, you need to have time to release that stress.

He uses his large eyes to stare into yours; you always found yourself lost in his gaze.

After it all, you lay back down waiting for your boyfriend to return from the kitchen. Illumi craves food like crazy after a good session. What’s better than donuts at 3 AM? COMFORT FOOD!!

These urges also come when you two are training together. Several times he’s had to guide you from behind on how to aim his needles. This time you noticed the packing of his pants which surprised you.

“Any questions,” he asked in a monotone voice.

“Yes. Why did you wear jogging pants? You’re giving yourself away.”

It was at this moment, he knew he fucked up. But let’s be honest, ok? He is standing behind the most beautiful person in the world, nostrils full of perfume, hair tied up, and has his left hand placed loosely on your thigh?! What was he thinking by wearing jogging pants when he was with you? He acted as if he didn’t know what you were talking about.

“You really don’t know?”

You kicked your backside out against him causing him to fall to the ground.

“Wow! Your legs are like jelly!”

“Why tease me,” He asked breaking out a small smile.

“You’re the one denying it.”

“Just get to it. I can’t wait any longer or else I’ll explode.”

The quiet ones are always the freakiest.