#I am also VERY drunk plese help me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

Prompt list

please take note NONE OF THESE ARE MINE i’ve only taken a few from random blogs around tumblr so i dont own any of these prompts im juts browwowing them and using them if anyone had a problem with that please message me privatly.

secondly when requestting using the prompts plase include

1. pairing eg. Jasperxoc EmmettxRosaliexchildoc

2. the prompt number eg. C.127 and b.12 (note plese refrain from using any more than 3 prompts per request but feel free to request different ideas as many time as you like)

note there are 3 seprate prompt list A, B and c so when reqeusting add what letter A.6 C.89

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PROMPT LIST A

1. “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.”

2. “Define normal.”

3. “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

4. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

5. “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

6. “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

7. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

8. “Remind me to kill you. Please.”

9. “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

10. “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

11. “Were you dropped on your head?”

12. “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”

13. “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”

14. “Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

15. “If I survive, can I go home?”

16. “My middle finger salutes you.”

17. “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.”

18. “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

19. “Insanity run in my family. It practically gallops.”

20. “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

21. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

22. “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”

23. “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

24. “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

25. “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

26. “I need therapy after this.”

27. “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”

28. “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”

29. “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”

30. “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?”

31. “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”

32. “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.”

33. “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”

34. “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”

35. “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!”

36. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

37. “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.”

38. “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”

39. “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

40. “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”

41. “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.”

42. “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

43. “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

44. “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”

45. “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.”

46. “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.”

47. “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.”

48. “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

49. “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

50. “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

51. “I like you. You’re different.”

52. “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

53. “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”

54. “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

55. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

56. “I care so little, I almost passed out.”

57. “Well behaved woman rarely make history.”

58. “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.”

59. “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”

60. “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.”

61. “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

62. “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”

63. “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.”

64. “It’s called thinking. Go with it.”

65. “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

66. “The girl is strange no question.”

67. “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.”

68. “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.”

69. “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.”

70. “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”

71. “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.”

72. “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”

73. “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.”

74. “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”

75. “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

76. “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.”

77. “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.”

78. “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.”

79. “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.”

80. “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.”

81. “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.”

82. “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.”

83. “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.”

84. “That’s starting to get annoying”

85. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

PROMPT LIST B

“You can’t just sit there all day.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“She’s hiding behind the sofa.”

“I lost our baby.”

“They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

“Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“What’s the matter, sweetie?”

“You’re Satan.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.”

“I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.”

“Did you just hiss at me?”

“I swear, I’m not crazy!!!”

“The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”

“How is my wife more badass than me?”

“Be you. No one else can.”

“I haven’t slept in ages.”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”

“Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”

“The kids, they ambushed me.”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!”

“Stop being so cute.”

“I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“You need to see a doctor.”

PROMPT LIST C

“I was a joke, baby. I swear.”

“Dogs don’t wear clothes!”

“I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”

“Safety first. What are you? FIVE?”

“This is girl talk, so leave.”

“Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”

“There’s a herd of them!”

“Do you think I’m scared of a woman?”

“I’m late.”

“Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”

“You smell like a wet dog.”

“I could punch you right now.”

“Are you going to talk to me?”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“If you can’t sleep…we could have sex?”

“I don’t want you to stop.”

“How could I ever forget about you?”

“You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”

“Run for it!”

“We need to talk.”

“Not everyone is out to get you. Stop thinking that. It’s annoying.”

“I want a pet.”

“Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”

“I’m not wearing a dress.”

“I’m not wearing a tie.”

“Quit beating me up!”

“Please put your penis away.”

“It’s a Texas thing.”

“Don’t argue. Just do it.”

“I hope I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“Does he know about the baby?”

“Hold still.”

“Enough with the sass!”

“Show me what’s behind your back.”

“Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”

“I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”

“I had a bad dream again.”

“I love you, please don’t go.”

“Stay here tonight.”

“Please don’t walk out of that door.”

“I thought things were going great.”

“Don’t you love me?”

“You make every day worth living.”

“I’ll keep you warm.”

“I’m never letting you go.”

“You meant too much to me.”

“I won’t let you.”

“How could you ask me that?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“Shouldn’t you be with him/her?”

“I’ve got you.”

“I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

“It’s late. Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“How are you feeling today?”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“We’ll figure this out.”

“This isn’t goodbye.”

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

“Wanna go grab a drink?”

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Here, let me help you.”

“Kiss me.”

“I care about you.”

“You could have warned me!”

“That was unexpected.”

“You haven’t lost me.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Don’t cry.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“You make me feel safe.”

“You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

“All I wanted was for you to be happy.”

“I can’t do this on my own.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

“Don’t be afraid.”

“You’re always on my mind.”

“You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

“You’ve always felt like home.”

“I can’t imagine this world without you.”

“You make me feel alive.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“Who cares about what they think?”

“Let’s go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You’ve always got me.”

“I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”

“Is this okay?”

“You look like you could use a hug.”

“Did you need something?”

“Do you have a ride home?”

“I am home.”

“What happened back there?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Why me?”

“I’m right where I belong.”

“Fine.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

“You need sleep.”

“Excuse me?”

“What are you doing?”

“What did you expect?”

“You’re not alone.”

“We’re meant for each other.”

“You’re worth it.”

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“I’ve always been honest with you.”

“It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”

“Just breathe, okay?”

“When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“Going somewhere?”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”

“You’re so adorable.”

“I’m better, now that you’re here.”

“I could never forget you.”

“Forget it.”

“That’s in the past.”

“You make me happy.”

“You’re more than that.”

“I won’t lose you too.”

“Come cuddle.”

“Can’t you stay a little longer?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“I’ve had enough.”

“I fell in love with you, not them.”

“You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“You love me as if I deserve you.”

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

“I didn’t know you could dance like that!”

“I found it in the recycling bin.”

“I know what I want, when I want it. So get over here.”

“This is… exactly what it looks like.”

“There’s so much blood.”

“You should see me in my old uniform. I’m pretty sure it still fits.”

“I know you really want to hang it on the wall, but…”

“We bet and you lost, so you have to do it.”

“Is that a tattoo?”

“I could tell it was your favorite book because of all the notes you wrote in the margins.”

“What do you think? Is purple my color?”

“That is way too expensive.”

“Girls night in?”

“I never imagined myself in a wedding dress.”

“I was scared and I ran.”

“I’m yours, in every way you’ll have me.”

“You might not like me, but you definitely want me.”

“I want to hike up your skirt and take you right here.”

“I love you. I just love her more.”

“A package arrived for you, but there’s no return address and the box looks really old.”

“If I die, I’m going to haunt you.”

“I didn’t say “sex party” as in orgy. I said “hex party” as in witches.”

“You wanted me to walk in on you.”

“This is a totally inappropriate soundtrack.”

“Let’s get wasted and then go piss on his grave.”

“I scalped my Hamilton tickets to pay for it.”

“Hold my hand until it’s over?”

“If you want to get me naked, you’ll have to convince me it’ll be worth my time.”

“I’m a level 72 Rogue and if you tell anyone, I’ll deny it and I will kill you.”