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buddhiststudy-nmrk · 3 months ago

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….Why Are We Leaders in the SGI….

Lecture By Linda Johnson, SGI-USA, 2001

Why are we leaders in the SGI? We have made a commitment to help other people change. The only reason we should take on responsibility in the organization is that we continue to make a commitment to help other people change their life through Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. Each of you is a "life coach" and your job is to teach people how to win in life through Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. The job is coaching; helping each person to keep expanding their capacity. This requires us to constantly use our life to challenge that person to go beyond what is comfortable. You don't become a great athlete, or you don't become a great person without going beyond what is comfortable. Growth is uncomfortable. It means stretching beyond what you think you can do. Getting out of your comfort zone. We must grow beyond expecting it to be easy.

There is a difference between not being easy and having to suffer. How can we use our lives to help people change? Growth can be a joyful challenge. How can we really use our lives to help people really change?

We detach from our members' problems. "Yeah, he/she is suffering with that; I've visited them and tried to encourage them, and I call now and then. How can I help them if they don't have a seeking spirit? There's nothing I can do. It's up to them. We need to go to the next level of

learning; of using our ichinen to ensure that our members grow. This has 100% to do with us, not them.

President Ikeda's definition of ichinen: 1996, the last time he was here, I attended a private dinner with about 50 people. He talked about what happened when he became president in 1960. He looked at all of us, without any arrogance.

"When I became the third president of the Soka Gakkai, the organization was in financial debt. There were three dilapidated headquarters buildings in Japan for the members. There were six staff members. That's it. Those were the conditions under which I assumed the presidency. Today, there are 1,300 community and culture centers in Japan alone, for the members to meet at. Our finances are very secure. We have established the Soka school system. Even more than that, Buddhism has spread from Japan to 138 countries (now, 165) around the world." He looked at us and said, "I am telling you this for one reason only. This is what the ichinen of one person can do."

There was absolutely no arrogance in him; he was trying to share with us the power of prayer, the power of ichinen, such that shoten zenjin would emerge. He was trying to shake up each one of us. We have the same potential. We accept way too little. Wake up! "I'm not special; I'm just an example of what you have."

Last year, I went to Japan. When we arrived, I wrote a memo to President Ikeda. I truly believe he has x-ray vision. There is no point in pretending, he sees it anyway. I might as well let it all hang out.

As a result of recent appointments (Southern California Zone Leader, Matilda Buck's Vice WD) plus a big job (supervising 8 attorneys for the government), I was feeling overwhelmed. Every time I would chant about this responsibility, I kept going back to this guidance. Somehow, I knew

this was my answer. It wasn't about how many places I could visit. It was about prayer.

So I wrote in my memo, "Sensei, I came back for you to explain about ichinen at a deeper level. I need it in my life. I need to understand ichinen better."

I never got to speak with him personally, but at dinner, he started talking. "Ichinen means to pray without doubt. Whenever you pray without doubt, all of your prayers will be answered. This is the kind of prayer Nichiren Daishonin is talking about." Buddhism equals actual proof. He was strict with us. "If you're not showing actual proof, you are not practicing correctly." He talked about faith. Its invisible; it is only revealed through your behavior as a human being. He challenges all of us to go for all our dreams and win, because the other people who watch your example must be able to say, "This Buddhism is great."

This made an impact on my life. I started chanting a lot about ichinen. I realized that in addition to our moving our bodies, the first thing is to pray; to take total responsibility with our prayer that our members are going to win. Prayer without doubt.

The weakness he felt here is that the leaders were not wholeheartedly praying for the members' happiness. It is another level of faith. "With my prayer, I will ensure that people will win, no matter what."

Let me share an experience here. At a Culture Department meeting, a man got up to share his experience. The year before, he was diagnosed with cancer. Terminal cancer. After many years of practice, this diagnosis caused him to lose all hope. He lost such hope, that he shut everyone

out of his life. He went to bed, waiting to die. Fortunately for him, a gutsy WD chapter leader showed up. She made such a racket, he had to open the door. She barged on in, and started talking to him. She convinced him to chant with her. He hadn't chanted in weeks. She made him sit front and center; she sat in back of him. Failure was not an option for her. They didn't chant very long; maybe 30 minutes. While they were chanting, he literally got hot inside. He felt heat enter his body from his back. All this physical stuff started happening. When they got done, his will to fight for his life was re-awakened. He went to see the doctor. It was a very bleak environment. He went in and said, "I want to thank you for everything you are going to do to try to save my life. Even if you don't succeed, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart."

The doctor was so shocked. He talked to him for a full hour, even though he had many other appointments waiting. They started a full course of treatment. Ultimately, this man was diagnosed as cancer-free. Through his life and example, we see how this woman's ichinen woke him up. She poured her life into it. She didn't go there with the attitude of, "I'm here to encourage you, but what you do is up to you."

Whether it's us personally suffering in relationships, or with members, I really feel that in 1996 Matilda and I received got guidance to change any relationship problem we've every had in our life. Vice President Hasagawa shared that this was guidance President Toda gave President

Ikeda. He was suffering from watching leaders hurt the members. It's guidance for any situation.

"Every pain, every hurt on account of another human being, engrave it in your heart. Never forget; never do it to another human being."

People teach us through negative example of how not to be, as powerfully as how to be. Some people's mission is to teach through negative example. Our problem is that we separate from them; we don't get that they are a teacher on how to be better. Or, do we turn around and do the

same thing?

The reason we're there, experiencing that problem, is because it is our mission to find the solution. The solution is never, ever, ever waiting for the other person to change. If we do, we miss our own opportunity to do human revolution.

There was a person who's sister had a child killed by a drunk driver. She spiraled downward in grief. The member was in pain, watching her sister. She was feeling really helpless; "What can I do?" I shared with her an experience I had where I was suffering on account of a senior leader. I was judgmental of her. After two years, I finally remembered Vice President Hasagawa's guidance. "Hmm, maybe it would be a good thing to apply it." It's my mission to find a solution. The answer is only inside of my life. And, a prayer emerged.

I would take responsibility through my prayer that the person would be able to win over her own weaknesses.

When you look at another human being you just see them in one moment of their process of their human revolution. At this moment, they may be controlled by the dark side. Like me; for two years, I could not win over being judgmental. We usually think, "They're not doing their best."

But it's not about someone doing their best. I realized that's not what it's about. Sometimes things are so deep in our life, it's a process. We have to keep chipping away. This is just another human being working on their own weakness. I take responsibility through my prayer that she has a breakthrough. This is different than praying for someone's happiness. That doesn't work for me. When I am in judgement, it's, "You are so messed up, you need my help." That is not a place of compassion. You can't win until you change your judgement of them into compassion. When I took responsibility, I couldn't chant that prayer without changing myself. Immediately, the prayer had the power to change our relationship.

So, I shared this with that member; it didn't matter that the sister was in another state. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is so powerful, you can reach anyone in the universe "Study the Gosho; believe Nichiren Daishonin when he tells you that it can change immutable karma." Don't just sit back and observe the problem of our members, but ensure their breakthrough.

Within a month, I got an email. She had started chanting that way for her sister. Not only did her sister have a breakthrough over her grief, her sister started chanting. She had tried to shakubuku her for years. Through that prayer, something reached her sister. She is like a new woman. Another sister also started chanting. That prayer is so profound.

As leaders, we have the responsibility and obligation to not be bystanders. We have to learn to use our ichinen to ensure that each person has a victory. With that prayer, we are helping another human being win. What else is Buddhism? We become alive; we become invincible; not shaken by obstacles, by using our life to help someone else win.

This is vital and crucial. Our only function is to help other people grow. In order to do that, we must let go of control. People can't grow if we keep denying them opportunity. Whenever we are in this process, i.e., "I know how to do it the right way," we are reticent to allow someone else to do it because it might not be up to our expectation. No matter how good we are, someone gave us an opportunity at some point. And we weren't good right away. Why do we expect others to be great the first time? And, we don't get better by just doing it again ourselves.

I was in an area where there were these "control freak" women district leaders. The meetings were suppressed. "I'm the district leader; we will do the meeting the way I want." It's not my personal organization; it's all of ours. We have to let go. This is a real test; if you think you're

good at something, how many people can you teach to do it even better than you? How do we do it all? We are busy people. Wife, mother, leader, lover. Time management comes down to letting go, and inspiring others to do something. This frees us and gives us more joy in our practice. We

need lots of people doing things. Buddhism is not about "you doing more and more and more and more. When we hold on to things, we are not advancing kosen-rufu; we are stifling the development of Buddhism in the world. What is easier in the short term is death in the long run. It is easier for you to do it; but it stifles other people and prevents other people from growing. We keep bogging everything down with an attitude of "it has to be my way or no way."

How many people can we raise? Everybody in your [group] chapter, district, or area; it's each person taking responsibility. We should not deny them the opportunity. I only rise to the occasion when I have to; it's human nature. If you let me sit back and slide, I will. Somebody puts the ball in my lap, if I'm responsible, it changes my ichinen. Suddenly I say, "I guess I'd better study and chant." It encourages me to grow. We have to really focus on helping others grow. Raise others by letting go.

"Letting go" doesn't mean that they "rise or fall on your own." Don't go on remote control. Stay in control with your ichinen, but not with your mouth or your behavior. Ensure their success with your prayer. When we do that, practice becomes more fun for us. We start to realize that we have the solution to every problem. "I will take 100% responsibility for everybody's success." Practicing will become more enjoyable for everyone; it creates freshness in the organization. I go to a district, and I see the same old plan we used in the 80's. It seems to me we should be improving all the time. Buddhism is about creativity; constant growth. We need that freshness. One of our greatest assets is diversity. If we don't give every kind of person opportunities, we can't create the kind of organization that is inclusive everyone. Keep trying to put your arms around a bigger, more diverse group of people to see things differently. No matter how sensitive we might think we are, we never really know what it's like to walk in that person's shoes. It's hard to know another person's pain and suffering.

If you've been straight all your life, it's hard to know the nuance of being gay. If we don't have someone at the table contributing to a meeting in a way that's meaningful to them, we miss an opportunity to make a meeting that is meaningful to everybody.

If it's not your experience, you don't think like that. Unconsciously, we talk about "husband or wife," not "partner." We need someone to point that out. We need someone to sensitize us; we come from our own reality. It's from interacting with others that we expand our own reality. People force us to view things from a broader perspective.

So many of you say you rarely go for guidance. "I know what they'll say; 'chant.’" I want to encourage you to change that attitude.

The purpose of guidance to send you back to the Gohonzon with a new attitude. We can't always do that for ourselves because we are too close; just like the part about the eyebrows. We can't see it. And, we think we already know what they are going to say...chant!

One of my leaders said, "The act of opening our life to another human being is the cause to cut the karma in half." We need each other. We need at least a minimum of one good friend; someone you could share your most painful dirt with, and it's OK, you know that person will never

reject you. We need somebody who can always help us stay on the straight and narrow. We can't see our own negativity until we are so off-track that to come back, takes tremendous effort. If we are just one step off, it's much easier.

We must challenge ourselves to grow. We need someone to be strict with us to challenge us to grow.

It is absolutely vital that we go for our dreams. As women we are born nurturers. The weak side of nurturers is that we sometimes lose ourselves. This is a disservice. Flip the order, and put yourself first. This is not selfish. Only in going for our own dreams do we have the motivation to get out of bed with enthusiasm. We can't do it because of other's stuff. The burning passion in your own belly is what moves you; it adds a whole dimension of excitement to your life. When you give up on your dreams you give up on yourself.

On TV, I saw a story about a woman's experience when her husband left. She cleaned houses. It was her dream to teach. She went to school, and is now graduating. She's in her fifties, because it took many years. She will be speaking at the commencement ceremony. She says, "You can never give up on your dreams because when you do, you give up on yourself."

Leading by example: when you're alive, really challenging life for some purpose, it's infectious to people around you. People closest to you get the worst of you. They deserve the best of you, not the worst. If you put yourself last, they get your worst. Don't be satisfied with the crumbs in life. Don't sit on the curb and watch everyone else go by. I don't think so; I didn't start practicing to watch everybody else win. When you are pursuing your dreams, happiness oozes out of you.

Only with struggles can we win over ourselves and encourage others. It's our experience that allows us to have the conviction in the power of prayer, and take that conviction and put it in someone else's life. Some leaders share everybody else's experiences instead of any of their own; you feel nothing coming from their life. James Hermann quoted, "A fate greater than death is to be dead but still alive." When we give up on our dreams, we are accepting slow death. I don't believe we become happy merely because we chant, or chant for a certain number of years. We

become happy because we decide we are going to, and chant from that decision. Failure is no longer an option. "I've decided the obstacle will not win." When we make that decision, fueled by prayer, our live transforms, changes.

We keep going on; accepting; "This practice is too hard." We don't need to accept being unhappy. "I'm taking back control of my life; I refuse to allow suffering to control me." Everything immediately changes; not on the outside, but on the inside.

The difference is between deciding to drive the car versus being a passenger in life. Those two attitudes will produce fundamental differences in your life.

Mrs. Hachiya talked with a woman who was failing in her battle with weight loss. Mrs. Hachiya gave her lots of advice, then stopped. "Don't ever confuse your ability to be happy with losing weight. Lose weight because you choose to do that. It has nothing to do with your ability to

be happy."

Enlightenment just as we are. Nichiren Daishonin de-mystifies life. All life has two functions; an enlightened, constructive side, and an unenlightened, destructive side. Nothing in life is all positive or all negative. We have it; everything has it. The circumstances we find ourselves in never define who we are. It's how we choose to use our circumstances are the reason we are the way we are - or the reason we can change.

I can choose to use my circumstances as justification for failure, or choose to use them as a motivating factor to change my life. The world of Buddha exists in every world. I really feel we never need to get rid of anything we go through; fear, doubt, anger. We associate these things

with "negative." I used to chant to get rid of them. I decided I need to understand that the world of Buddhahood exists in everything; I should understand there's a constructive side. I chanted to connect with the enlightened side, to transform my life in a positive way.

President Ikeda says, "Persevere without fear or doubt." Honestly, as long as we are human, we'll have fear and doubt. Those are natural. I don't believe he's saying, "You won't have it at all." When we get this point, through chanting I can connect with this point and master it, and no longer fear. Now I realize it has a positive side I can always connect to through my prayer. It's my choice; it's a condition we create by winning over the negative side of the doubt and fear to call out the positive.

Never be defeated by the circumstances we find ourselves in. "Faith should never be an obligation; rather, it is our right." Only we can win our happiness. An easy-going life does not lead to happiness. Only when we face life and challenge it can we achieve true happiness.

We must not detach, whether it's in our or a member's life; there's nothing we can't change in our life.

END OF LECTURE

Q & A

Question: What about training? How do we do that?

Answer: We all need training, constantly. We need training, nurturing, support on Buddhism and how to do everything better. It requires consistent dialogue. Create an atmosphere where we constantly dialogue about how to do things better; share with each other. We all learn so much from each other. Constant hands-on; we need leader's training meetings every month. I need training. We assume people automatically know what to do, or want to do it. These are false assumptions. Leaders constantly need nurturing. Focus on specific weaknesses sometimes;

constantly keep bringing out issues we need to address. Do a critique after the meeting; how could we do better? President Ikeda says we must say what needs to be said. But, it must be said from a place of compassion. If it's from judgement, we can't reach their life even if we are right. People need to feel safe to say what they have to say, and that's a constant struggle.

Comment: In one part of Washington, D.C. they have leaders' training every other month, from 9:30-1:00. They cover how to be a good group leader, everything. They have a website: laureldistrict.homestead.com.

Question: I'm scared of hurting someone's feelings, so I don't say anything.

Answer: We have to get over it. Even when it's well-intended, sometimes it hurts. We have to have the confidence we can fix it with Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. If our true heart is to help that person, they need a great friend in Buddhism, who tells them what they need to hear in spite of

not wanting to hear it. They may get mad. If we can't rely on someone in Buddhism to tell us the truth, who can we rely on? They may not like it. We need that person we can rely on to tell us what we need to hear in order to grow. We need people who tell us the difficult stuff; pushing

us just a little bit further than what we think we can do. It's compassion for a person's life.

Sometimes in Buddhism, it's like 'tough love.' We have to tell someone something that might be difficult. "Will they reject me?" What is my purpose? To help you win in life, or to win a popularity contest?

We have to be in there for the long haul. Stick with them no matter what. Ensure with prayer that they will win. We all need the honest friend who doesn't just say what they think we want to hear. It's not easy. Dialogue like President Ikeda. Before he ever meets with the person, he first sits down in front of the Gohonzon and conducts the dialogue he wants to have. Then, he sits down with the person. Then, he goes back to the Gohonzon again and chants to open the person's life, to get the points he wants them to get. Look at how much effort he puts out; he uses prayer to reach another person's life.

Use that process, along with courage, and we learn to expand our life. Do the tough stuff, not just the easy stuff. You will consequently develop deeper bonds. It's a very superficial relationship to only say what we think the other person wants to hear so that they don't reject us.

Question: I want more actual proof.

Answer: Set new goals for yourself. Keep growing by constantly taking on new challenges. Yearly, five year, ten year goals. We also need to see progress with daily goals. We need all kinds of goals. They are a good measure that we are growing. When you accomplish a daily goal, you develop the confidence that your life is moving forward. It moves forward in all areas. "Because I see this, this, and this happening; then surely, this is happening, too."

Regarding judgement. I chant always to be able to use my life; be the vehicle through which the Gohonzon speaks to the members. Whatever comes out of my life is what that person needs for their life. Don't focus on "Linda." Take on the greater mission as Bodhisattva. "Let me be able to

manifest wisdom to clearly see what's going on in a person's life to help them chant." When I pray that way, I'm not influenced by judgments.

See that everyone is a magnificent work in progress. They're just stuck at this one moment in time. Anybody can change anything. Sometimes I feel judgment creeping up; I start chanting inside to win over that judgment. "Don't let my stuff get in the way of this person." I have

watched the session transform; we connect. It's a constant battle.

Question: How do we support Men's Division? Also, I'm confused because my husband wants me to leave on a trip with him as soon as I get back, but there are activities to support.

Answer: One way is to do what we've talked about. Take responsibility with our own prayer that they will really shine; manifest their full potential in their life. We will take full responsibility with our

prayer. When your prayer is that magnanimous, then, "What must I do to make that happen?" You have to chant to pull that answer up from your life. Then, do it. It's different with each one what they need. Day by day, how to support? Prayer; get an answer; get the courage to do it.

We have to role-model a new kind of leader in this organization. If people joining today look at you, and think you don't have a life because you're a leader, nobody's going to want to be a leader. Ultimately, using our life to help other people grow is how we enrich and allow our own life to grow. All the success and joy and achievements are because I've been a leader. Members have forced me to grow. I have to keep challenging myself to encourage them. Members are my greatest asset in my life.

Each of us has got to start thinking about how to be a better example. Show a person who's winning in life. Family, career, whatever. You can have it all; you don't have to settle. Instead of being irritated at our leaders, remember that people teach us how to be a better leader through

their weaknesses, too. The point is, do we get the lesson, or do we turn around and do the same thing?

Taking that trip with your husband is the best thing you can do. Let others feel responsible. As a woman and a wife, you have a mission to inspire your husband. If you are always so tired because of activities, i.e., "Don't bother me, I'm tired," with our own life, we're discouraging them about faith. Our family starts resenting activities. Mrs. Hachiya is very strict with herself. No matter what, no matter how late it is when she gets home, she says, "Everyone else relax, I'm home, I'll take over." Our faith activities don't stop when we get to the house. We need to be constantly challenging ourselves to be better. You have a mission to make your husband so appreciative of your activities, because when you come home, you give him the message that "You're important in my life."

Trust your prayer. We don't need to be physically with other people to impact their life. It is so profound. Trust that prayer.

- - - - - -

(added comment/note)

Mai Ji Sa Ze Nin; I Ga Ryo Shujo; Toku Nyu Mujodo; Soku JoJu Busshin

This is my constant thought, how I can cause all beings to gain entry to the highest way, and quickly attain the supreme enlightenment….

#sgi buddhism #guidance

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troncelliti · 1 year ago

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Law of the Land : Italy

(Meta: Facebook\messenger cold contact)

Friday 11 August 2023 5:28PM

Me: Pardon me this surprise message. … I thought I could talk to you about Italian law and constitution. Do you mind?

Friday 08 September 2023 10:52PM

Attorney: Excuse me, what do you want to talk about?

Saturday 09 September 12:22AM

Me: Are you familiar with DPR 54 (cambia nome e\o cognome)?

4:53PM

Attorney: Yes. In my Office we made a change of surname for a client.

5:43PM

Me: So, in your opinion DPR 54 is NOT in violation of the Italian constitution?

…to be continued…

…in continuation…

Sunday 10 September 12:51AM

Attorney: Why?

1:30AM

Me: unsent message to everyone

9:58AM

Me: I’ve read, both, DPR 54 and, at least, the first 4 articles of the Italian constitution. And, it affects me, personally.

3:58PM

Attorney: I don’t read the DPR, so I can’t understand what you think.

4:20PM

Me: May I ask you a personal question?

Attorney: Sure.

Me: Sooo, why jurisprudence as a career path?

6:03PM

Attorney: I love my profession, I wanted to be a lawyer since I was 11 years old. Now I have problems, I don’t sleep very well, but I can’t change my job, it is my way of life.

Me: You had a dream or something profound happened at age 11? You can’t change it by a personal choice? Because, despite the difficulty or difficulties you live with every day and night, you love what you do, right?

Attorney: Someone tells me that I was like a lawyer for desperate cases and I believe that it is real for me. I choose what to be, what to do, despite the difficulties. I have the dream to be a better person and a better lawyer. 😁

Me: Well, then, (name of attorney). Am I not talking to the right attorney? (🤭)

A lawyer at EXP Legal Rome has already included me for the firm’s Pro Bono budget starting January 2024. As grateful as I am, I need answers, now. Because, in fact, I should have been informed or informed myself in 2000 – the year DPR 54 became law.

7:03PM

Me: That said, I’d be honored if you’d examine my complaints and accept me as a client before the year ends. Will you think about it and reply, asap?

10:56PM

Attorney: If you explain me what are this two problems, I can try to answer.

Me: Can we take it one question\problem, at a time?

Monday 11 September 1:13PM

Attorney: Sure. The first?

1:35PM

Me: two unsent messages to everyone

4:08PM

Me: Are you sure? You are sure?

Attorney: Why?

Me: (attachment: So, in your opinion, DPR 54 is NOT in violation of the Italian constitution?) Because, this is my moral crux. However simple.

Attorney: I could not understand if you don’t explain to me what you mean.

Attorney: *what you want to mean.

Me: Will you read DPR 54?

Me: unsent message to everyone

Tuesday 12 September 3:26AM

Me: Do you know the Italian constitution?

Me: Because, this is the question to one of my problems: in your opinion, is DPR 54 (cambia nome e\o cognome) in violation or not?

If you say, YES, then, you can definitely help me. If you say, NO, you cannot; so, you can’t help me with my other problem, either.

…to be continued…

…in continuation…

Wednesday 13 September 6:19PM

Attorney: I didn’t read the dpr 54.

6:37PM

Me: Are you interested in reading it?

…to be continued…

…in continuation…

Next day at 11:06PM

Attorney: I don’t have time now.

11:35PM

Me: Oh. That’s too bad. I’m terribly sorry. Are you already helping too many people with their desperate situations?

Day after that at 6:52PM

Attorney: I am working a lot in this period.

…6 days later…

Me: a gif that identifies “ok” in a regrettable and doubtful manner.

#law of the land #italy #constitution #law #lay #common #individual #hope #hoping

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thisiswhathappenswhenimbored · 1 year ago

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i like people who smile when it's raining.

When was the last time you wore a full face of makeup? Forever ago, I don't wear a full face of make up often.

Do you own an iPad? No.

Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? My friend.

What’s the most hours you’ve worked in a week? A lot?

Do you believe in karma? I don't know if I believe in karma.

What temperature is your thermostat currently set to? 23 degrees C

What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? i'm not really sure there is anything, i've always been very clear about my stance on things & i don't think anything has really changed lately. i mean certain events are pushing me further & further towards moving out of the US

Are you a kind, thoughtful person? i try to be.

Do you know anyone who has a PhD? i don't think anyone although one of my best friends from high school just got accepted into a doctoral program.

Who were you dating in July 2010? Or were you single? my husband.

How do you feel when you’re the center of attention? i don't really like a lot of attention most of the time, but it doesn't really bother me or anything.

Would you rather be a nurse or a mechanical engineer? nurse. before i got pregnant with my first daughter i was on track to go premed & become a neurosurgeon.

Do you like Starbucks chai lattes, or do you think they’re too sweet? here in japan, the chai tea latte is my favorite. i never really drank it before i moved here though.

Are you and your SO facebook official? yeah, we've been married for almost thirteen years so about that long?

Do you know how to set a formal table setting for a 3+ course dinner? no.

Are you in a good mood today? i'm in an alright mood today.

Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? my friend i talked to earlier, before she moved here she was a criminal defense attorney.

Which would bother you more: being told you’re not likable or being told you’re not sensible? i've been told both before, i don't really give a fuck. i am who i am & i'm not going to change. i just turned 33 & have finally gotten back into my idgaf era.

Do you have a difficult time relating to other’s emotions? i don't think so.

How many bedrooms does your house have? the one i currently live in has 3.

What was the last electronic item you bought? a google pixel 7 cell phone when we moved to japan because i needed a new phone.

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no, but i actually was just talking to my husband about this like a week ago because he experiences it quite a bit.

When you were 15, what did you want to grow up to be? a neurosurgeon or a crime scene investigator.

Did you ever achieve that? no? i had babies & supported my husband's career. although i am working on a criminal justice degree & i will, hopefully, start a true crime podcast soon.

Have you ever had a dream in which you died? yes. often.

Have you bought a bag of potato chips in the past week? no.

Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? no.

How often do you buy a new phone? every two years or so.

Would you rather live in an apartment in the city, or a cabin in the woods? apartment in the city, i love being in the woods & outdoors but i don't want to be there all the time because i hate bugs.

Do you use Snapchat? i've started using it more recently.

Have you ever driven or ridden on a motorcycle? rode my dad's when i was younger. i have all the gear except a helmet & my husband wants me to learn how to ride so her can get a bigger one & i can take his, although we'd definitely have to lower it for me since i can't reach the ground when i'm on it.

Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? my dad & brother are both alcoholics.

Are any other members of your household home right now? my daughters are home with me.

What was your first job? And how long did you work there? a.c.moore, i worked there for 2ish years?

What was your favorite school subject when you were in middle school? chorus.

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attrny-a · 2 years ago

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15 January 2023

I don't know if it's the season or the weather or the fact that school starts tomorrow pa, but I feel content. Obviously, I don't have everything that I want and need right now, but I'm hopeful to have even just a bit of them little by little.

I can say that I am happy that despite me being on a probation for failing two subjects last semester, both are really pain in the ass, trust me, having 10 units this semester eases me and makes me acknowledge the idea that my journey to becoming a full-fledged lawyer might take a little while than I hoped it would be. I am happy because I am not blaming myself for the things I failed at. I know I have something to do with my misfortunes, of course, but having to accept the fact that I am not as intelligent, driven and passionate as my classmates, it comforts me because I am my own intelligent, driven and passionate self. I also have their qualities, I also have what it takes to be an attorney but I'd like to believe that I have my own time for that. And fulfilling such dream of my family entails sacrifices that I am not not willing to give. I want to make sure that while I am doing this for them, I am also doing this for myself.

I deserve it.

Thank you for everything you have given me and you have taken away from me, 2022. You showed me how my family could be so happy and supportive of me; who my real friends and support system are; what first real job I would be employed as (PEO II, now DMO III); where my happy place would be; when the time would be right for me to finally have the love of my life; and why I deserve everything that has been happening to me.

2023, you have some pretty big shoes to fill in.

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eoieopda · 2 years ago

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i can’t copy/paste this on my phone, so bear with any typos as i’ve got to re-type everything 🥴

name: jade ✨ sign: cap 🌞 sag 🌚 scorp ☝🏻 height: tiny (5’ / 152 cm) time: 11:40 am est birthday: today! (12/31/94) fave band/artist: aside from bts - hozier, hayley williams (solo and w/ pmore,) ethel cain last movie: i literally do not remember, but i only seem to watch the same ones over & over, so i assume it was either suspiria (‘18 version) or eternal sunshine of the spotless mind last show: does run bts count? i’m watching it for the first time now. otherwise, the sandman (for, like, the third time ?? it’s my fave comic series lol) when i created this blog: Nov. 5, 2022! what i post: bts content, with a sprinkle of shitposts and some occasional blackpink for zest other blogs: none atm! i might create a side blog that isn’t strictly bts stuff do i get asks: yes, but those are mostly drabble requests or cute messages from moots. we’re not going to talk about the racist trolls bc they get deleted v quickly 🥲 followers: 1.2k and some change avg. hours of sleep: literally four, like clockwork. my body refuses to accept any more than that. #pray4jade2k23 instrument: bass, guitar, drums, piano, cello, and (wait for it) banjo, lmao. what i’m wearing: the usual - black jeans, black turtleneck, leopard-print tuk creepers, and the most ridiculous statement coat i’ve ever encountered in a thrift shop (yes, it clashes horribly w/ the leopard print shoes 😎) dream job: my current one (attorney) but if i wasn’t doing this, i would’ve been a mortician. perhaps in “retirement” because i don’t think i’ll ever be content to stop working entirely. dream trip: i’d like to go back to korea and see it all, especially changwon (where i was born.) i haven’t seen it since i was 18 months old, so i’d love to actually perceive it and remember it ✨ fave songs: WOOF, this is hard, lol. not including bts, i’ve been listening to shaky graves a lot lately (specifically “dearly departed”) and also banks (specifically “gemini feed”)

tagging: @yoongiphoria @indgio @junsai-tree @persphonesorchid @dearly-somber @wakeupinahaze @cinnamin-ji and @jihopesjoint

I was tagged by @winterfloral, @juiceofmoons, @snug-gyu, @babychicklix, and @yonglixx to do this! Thank you for tagging me 🥰

Name: Missy

Sign: Virgo

Height: 166cm / 5’5.5

Time: 19:52

Birthday: 17th September

Favourite band/artist: Currently Stray Kids! Although BTS are my ults 💜

Last movie: 1917! I enjoyed it, I liked that it was visceral without being too graphic. Just the harsh reality of war

Last show: Moment of 18!! Highly recommend they deal with serious topics very well with amazing acting whilst still keeping some levity

When I created this blog: Not sure the exact date but June this year! I have had Tumblr since like 2014(?) though

What I post: Moodboards and Gifsets!! More moodboards though, I’m very new to gif making

Other blogs: @missyart123 (currently skz fanart) and @missyreblogs (reblog account)

Do I get asks: Yes! And I love getting them! It’s slowed down a lot though :( pls feel free to send me random asks whether it be something random you want to talk about, questions about me/skz or requests <3

Followers: 314!

Average hours of sleep: when I have nothing to do 8-9 but usually 5/6 😅

Instruments: Piano! I’m self taught though so not very good lmao I also sing if that counts?

What am I wearing: Currently a Winnie the Pooh (💕) hoodie and leggings :)

Dream job: I think working on a project doing research to do with Black Holes would be insane. Or maybe at an observatory, working somewhere like Greenwich observatory would be a dream come true ✨

Dream trip: Japan! 🇯🇵 I want to stay with my friend and meet her family. We have lot’s of things planned for if I can ever go

Favourite songs: This changes a lot tbh but currently side effects by skz, why you gotta kick me when i’m down by bring me the horizon, antifragile by le sserafim, bloodstream by ed sheeran, I ain’t worried by one republic and not over yet by ksi

I will be tagging @septicrebel @lolavans19 @katieraven and @amethystwritesbts. No pressure though! <3

#jade speaks #tag game

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ppeonppeonhan · 2 years ago

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Extraordinary Attorney Woo Season 2 Wishlist

- I'm not saying that two powerful female law firm CEOs have to be lesbians. I'm just saying I would not be MAD at the idea that this war started on a personal level before it became professional. Young Woo's boss is acting like her mom stole her whole damn life. There best be a damn good reason cause you don't go after someone's children just to be the top law firm CEO. That would be sadistic, and that's not how she presents.

- I want to learn more about Junho's life outside of the law firm and outside of his love for her. Like, no joke, who is this man? What does he like? Who has he dated? What are his hopes and dreams?

- I want Attorney Jung to start his own nonprofit and hire Young Woo, and a few other interesting legal associates who've had trouble getting jobs for various reasons that he's decided to turn a blind eye to.

- And I want Young Woo to develop a relationship with her little brother. It'll be interesting to see how his "socially acceptable" version of genius makes it difficult for him to relate to people, and how she helps him through that. Because there's no way this rich genius became friends with someone twice his age if he had teenage friends.

Things that are not on my Wishlist:

- I liked the other attorneys but I'm done with their love story. Would be interesting to see them go up against her in court though if she joins a nonprofit.

- While it is true that I am ALWAYS down for a thoughtfully orchestrated sex scene, it feels intrusive when it comes to Young Woo. That might be a double standard, but it’s not because she has autism. It's because she has anxiety. And as someone who struggles with that, it feels wrong to me to show her at what could potentially be peak anxiety. It's literally making me anxious just writing this. Woah woah. Woah woah.

Anyway, thanks for all the laughs and the heart.

#kdrama #extraordinary attorney woo

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queensoybean0724 · 3 years ago

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Succession Chapter 1 (Karl Heisenberg/female reader) Resident Evil Village fic

Here is chapter one of my new fanfic!

Title: Succession

Characters: Karl Heisenberg, female reader, OCs

Rating: PG-13 for language and intense scenes (for now, this is a slow burn, but it will get very hot and spicy in later chapters)

Summary: You discover a long lost relative from Moldova that you didn’t know existed has died and you are his sole beneficiary. You are on board a plane to collect your inheritance when your plane crashes in a village in Romania.

Author’s Notes: I do not own the characters from Resident Evil Village. This is a work of fiction. Anything remotely similar to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

Chapter 1

The music blasted from the car speakers as you drove down the main road towards the highway. You had your phone plugged into your car stereo, your favorite Spotify playlist on shuffle. Despite the A/C being on full blast, beads of sweat formed at your brow and rolled down your temple. You adjusted the vents on either side of you, making sure the cold air directly hit your body. The song that was playing had you tapping your fingers on the steering wheel, your head bopping to the beat.

The fridge at home was close to empty and it was beyond time for you to go grocery shopping. The grocery list was secure in your purse and you were determined to stick to the items on the list and not make any frivolous purchases. Money was tight and you only had so much money left before payday next week.

The song shut off suddenly followed by your ringtone. Looking at the screen of your phone, UNKNOWN stared back at you. Probably a spam call, you thought to yourself, reaching to press the red Ignore button. Unfortunately, your finger slid at the last minute and mistakenly tapped the Accept button. You watched as the call came through and the seconds ticked off. FUCK!

“Hello?” you greeted with a hint of exasperation in your voice.

“Hello, am I speaking with Miss Y/N?” a heavily accented male voice responded.

“Yeah, this is she,” you muttered, rolling your eyes. You tried your best to avoid these calls, ignoring them and letting them go straight to voicemail. Very rarely was it followed with an actual message, which was more than fine with you.

“Miss Y/N, my name is Ron M. Dathermi. I am a lawyer residing in Chisinau, Moldova in Eastern Europe…”

You raised your eyebrows at that. Moldova? Who the hell was calling you from Moldova? Chalking it up to a scam, you were about to interrupt the man when he continued.

“...I wish I was calling under better circumstances, but I’m afraid I have some bad news. Your great uncle, Serghei Popa, has passed away from a short illness and has named you his sole beneficiary…”

You couldn’t help the amused huff that came out of your mouth. This must be some very elaborate scam.

“Umm...sorry, but I think you have the wrong person. I don’t have family from Moldova and I have never heard of this man in my whole life.” You were about to hit the End button when Mr. Dathermi continued.

“Am I speaking with Y/N, born on (your birthday) to (your father and mother’s full names) and the granddaughter of (your grandfather and grandmother on both sides of your family)?”

Your eyes widened at that. “Yeah, that’s me…” you answered.

“I know this may sound unusual, but Mr. Popa was the brother of your grandmother on your mother’s side. He was given up for adoption at birth and taken in by a Moldovan family. He did not have a spouse and had no children, and according to the genealogy report I have before me, your grandmother and your mother are both deceased. Your mother was an only child, yes? It appears to me that you are the last of his living relatives.”

You pulled off the road and into an empty parking lot. The information you were being given was a lot to handle. You didn’t have that large of a family. You were an only child and raised by your parents and both sets of grandparents. Both of your grandfathers had died before you turned 10. Both grandmothers died within 5 years of each other and your father and mother died of illnesses, cancer and pneumonia respectively, in the last year. Grief was a feeling that you knew better than anyone. You kept to yourself mostly and you didn’t have any close friends or a significant other.

“Listen,” you began, “you are correct about all of your information, but how do I know this is not some kind of scam?”

The man on the other end of the phone cleared his throat and the sound of shuffling papers met your ears. “I can imagine that this information is sudden and unusual. What I will do is send a copy of his will and a copy of the genealogy papers to your address. I encourage you to take this to your lawyer and have them look over the information. The reason I am calling is because I need you to fly to Moldova, sign these papers, and accept the monetary inheritance that he has left you.”

Your jaw dropped as you looked down at your phone. Fly to Moldova? Is this true? The only thing you knew about the country was that a foreign exchange student from high school was born and raised in Moldova. That about sums up your knowledge of the country. This seemed incredibly asinine and ridiculous. But the word that settled in your train of thought was “inheritance.” What inheritance?

“Mr...what was your name again?” you asked.

“Mr. Dathermi, but you can call me Ron,” the lawyer responded.

“Ron...umm, how much monetary inheritance are we talking about?”

More shuffling of papers was on the other side of the phone, Ron clicking his tongue as he looked through the information. “He has left you 53,806,746 Moldovan Leu...which translates to $3,000,000 in American currency.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!?!” you exclaimed before clamping your lips shut. You heard Ron chuckle. “I’m sorry, pardon my language. It’s just...wow...this sounds insane…”

“I can imagine it does,” Ron replied, “which is why I want to mail this information to you and have your attorney take a look at it so you know this is a legitimate will and testament. If you would like, I can mail the information straight to your attorney if you are still leery.”

“No, no, that’s okay,” you said, shaking your head. Your mind was whirling. None of this sounded remotely true. You felt as if you were dreaming. This felt like something that only happened in books and fairy tales...a girl who had nothing and nobody suddenly inheriting millions of dollars from an unknown distant relative. What are the odds of something like this happening in real life? You gave Ron Dathermi your home address.

“Thank you very much, Miss Y/N. I will send this as soon as possible. I’ll also include my business card so your attorney can contact me and we can iron out the details. Thank you very much, Y/N...I’ll be in touch.”

You thanked him as well and ended the call. All alone in your car in the empty parking lot, you let out an excited squeal and started hopping up and down.

You adjusted the messenger bag that was slung across your shoulder as you heard the overhead speaker call for the boarding of your flight. Taking a deep breath, you got in line, extended your ticket to the airport employee, and walked down the tarmac and into the plane.

Butterflies were fluttering in your stomach. Your hands gripped your bag tightly as the flight attendant looked at your boarding pass and pointed down the aisle to where you were to be seated. You had never flown before and your nerves were on alert. Scenes from Final Destination flashed in your head as you walked down the aisle towards your seat. Taking a deep breath and willing your body to relax, you located your seat next to the window and sat down, plopping your bag onto your lap.

The small window was close to the wing of the plane and looking beyond that was a long expanse of grass that met a vast forest. You were thankful that you had the window seat and your headphones so you could tune everything out and relax in your own little world.

Once the papers from Mr. Dathermi arrived a week prior, you immediately called the attorney that helped you with the probate and will from your parents’ deaths several months back. He was more than happy to help, knowing that you were all alone in the world after your parents had passed. Two days later, he called to inform you that all of the paperwork was, in fact, legitimate and that Mr. Serghei Popa was the brother of your grandmother. He showed you the adoption papers, confirming that your great uncle had been put up for adoption and the family that took him in had relocated to Moldova when he was two years old. He had remained in the country until his death. Your attorney contacted Mr. Dathermi, who in turn secured a round trip plane ticket in order for you to come to Moldova to finalize the paperwork and collect the inheritance.

At the thought of the money you were about to acquire, another surge of excitement flowed through you. Your parents hadn’t left you much after their death and you worked at a dead-end job that had no room for advancement and no possibility for raises. All of these recent events sounded like something out of a fairy tale.

“This is your captain speaking,” the voice sounded from the speaker above your head, “we will be departing in the next ten minutes. Please make sure your seatbelts are secured, your tray tables are up, and all electronics are off until we are at the appropriate cruising altitude. I will inform everyone as soon as the coast is clear. Thank you for flying with us and enjoy the ride.”

You fastened your seatbelt and laid your head back, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.

“Don’t be nervous…” a voice sounded next to you. You opened your eyes and looked over to see an older gentleman with wide rimmed glasses and a nice smile.

“Is it that obvious?” you asked, returning his smile.

“It’s pretty obvious,” he chuckled, “my name is Bruce Williams. I’m the air marshal on board this flight.” You told him your name and shook his hand. “Just relax,” he assured, “we’ll be flying for the next 10 hours. There are lots of movies and tv shows to watch on the screen in front of you, or you can listen to your music and read a book if you brought one.”

You patted your messenger bag. “Yeah, I have a few books to choose from. Thanks,” you smiled.

Within minutes, the plane had backed away from the tarmac, turned towards the long expanse of runway, and increased speed before leaving the ground and soaring up into the clouds.

The steady hum of the plane’s engines provided a relaxed soundtrack as you slept. It was close to early morning, according to the clock on the tv screen, but your watch was still on your regular time zone. It read early afternoon and that threw you through a loop. You had heard that jet lag could be a bitch and you wondered how bad yours would be once you landed. Bruce had passed you a pillow and blanket once you were ready to sleep and he assured you that your bag and belongings would be safe while you slept.

You were so thankful to be seated next to him. Not only was he the air marshal, but he was a really cool person as well. You two talked about movies and actually watched a couple of them on the tv screen in front of you. Bruce was kind and nice to talk to. The crinkle of crow’s feet around his eyes, his laugh, and his hair color mixed with hints of gray reminded you of your father...maybe that’s why you liked him so much.

You shifted in your seat and let out a soft yawn. Stretching your arms above your head and arching your back, you wondered how much longer it would be until you touched down in Moldova.

“You weren’t asleep that long,” Bruce murmured. You looked over to see a book in his hand and his glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom and then go back to sleep,” you replied, standing from your seat. Bruce stood up and allowed you out into the aisle. You made your way to the bathroom towards the back of the plane. The cabin was dark with little lights dotting either side of the aisle on the floor. Soft lights were shining here and there from people reading, watching the tv screen, or messing with their phones while most of the passengers were asleep.

Once in the bathroom, you did your business, flushed the toilet, and began washing your hands. The mirror in front of you showed a tired and weary version of yourself. Some of your eye makeup was smudged. You told yourself once you returned back to your seat, you’d retrieve the makeup remover wipes in your bag and do away with the dirt and oil.

Just then the plane hit an air pocket and dropped several feet, throwing you forward towards the sink and mirror. You let out a shriek as the plane quieted and went still. “God dammit,” you muttered, putting your hand over your heart, “that scared the shit out of me!”

Once out of the bathroom, you slammed the door shut and walked back to your seat. You tapped Bruce on the shoulder and he moved aside.

You lifted the window shade and looked outside. Natural light from the start of the day began to show. The plane was amongst the clouds so it was fairly cloudy and hard to see.

“How much farther do we have?” you asked Bruce. He shifted the book to his left hand and looked down at his wristwatch. “We should be there in three hours. I think we are flying over Romania right now…”

You nodded your head and thanked him, turning back to the window. The clouds gave way momentarily and provided the opportunity to see the ground below. Tall, snowy mountains came into view. You smiled and marveled at their beauty, wondering what mountain range this was. You cursed yourself for forgetting the basics from your World Geography class in high school. Hell, all you knew about Romania was that it was the setting for Dracula and the real life territory that was once owned by Elizabeth Bathory, who allegedly killed upwards of 650 maidens and bathed in their blood. You shook your head and smiled to yourself. You really did enjoy some morbid and fucked up stories.

Your train of thought stopped short when a large and spacious castle came into view. Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped. It looked like something out of a Disney movie or from ancient castles that still sat throughout Europe. The place looked like it stood on several acres of land and who knows how many square feet. What a gorgeous and breathtaking place it was. You wondered just what was inside a monstrosity like that and who was lucky enough to inhabit such a place. Maybe there were castles in Moldova that you could explore and visit while you’re conducting your business.

The castle fell out of view and not far from it stood what looked like a village. You were too high up to see any people or any traces of lights or torches. You took everything in with total awe and appreciation. It looked like a small and sleepy storybook town.

A sudden movement close to the village caught your attention. You squinted your eyes and tried to look closer, pressing your forehead to the window. What the fuck is that, you wondered. It looked like a black tree, naked of leaves or any type of growth...and it was moving. It looked to be swaying in the breeze, but the size of it looked way too sturdy for any kind of gust to move it with such fluidity. As you focused on the tree, it appeared to be growing...getting closer to the plane. Was the plane descending? Were you getting closer to Moldova?

One of the branches of the tree slowly drifted to the ground before extending long and rigid, slinging itself up into the air like a bullwhip, hitting the wing of the plane. The plane suddenly tilted as the slithering limb wrapped around the wing and broke it off. You let out a loud scream as the plane turned on its side, Bruce falling against you, squishing you to the wall. “WHAT THE FUCK??” Bruce screamed as yelps, shrieks, and screams echoed in the cabin of the plane. Dozens of people were knocked from their seats, flight attendants falling into the aisle and rolling towards the cockpit. The plane shook and quaked as it dropped several feet in a matter of seconds.

“OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!” you screamed, grabbing hold of Bruce’s arm. The air masks dropped from overhead and Bruce grabbed yours, making quick work of putting it over your face. “HOLD ON TO IT! HOLD IT OVER YOUR MOUTH, Y/N!!” he commanded, reaching for his own mask.

“THE WING OF THE PLANE HAS BEEN DAMAGED!” the pilot yelled from over the speakers, “WE ARE LOSING ALTITUDE! BRACE FOR IMPACT!” People screamed and panicked, holding on to whatever it was they could. Panic surged through your body as your fingers dug into Bruce’s arm. The plane shook as it fell. Your stomach dropped and it felt as if you were seconds from impact. You looked out the window one last time before the ground came into view and everything went black.

He leaned over the body on the metal table in the lab of his factory. He fastened the bolts with a wrench and tested the strength of the metal against the rotting flesh. A soft horn sounded in the distance along with the various turns of chains and clangs of steel against steel. He wiped the sweat off his brow and walked to his desk, looking over the blueprints and sketches he had devised the previous day.

Despite the different array of sounds, nothing could mask the loud crash that sounded off in the distance. He lifted his head, silently trying to figure out what the fuck made that noise. Leaving the body laying on the table, he exited his lab and made his way down the stairs and to the factory doors.

With a grunt, he slid the doors aside and looked off into the distance. Black smoke billowed from an area that looked to be close to the village. Other than the crows squawking and flapping their wings in retreat, everything was dead quiet. He looked off to the right just in time to see the long, spindly limbs of mold retreating back towards the earth. Karl Heisenberg’s face tightened in a disgusted grimace.

“Mother Miranda...what have you done?”

#resident evil village #resident evil village fanfic #karl heisenberg #karl heisenburg x reader #daddy heisenberg #house heisenberg #heisenberg #karl heisenberg fanfic

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semisgroupie · 4 years ago

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The Woman Who Used to be Mrs. Jones

Genre: smut, fluff (kinda at the end?), angst

Pairing: Aoi Todo X F!Reader

Word Count: 6.4k words

Warnings (some of the content can be triggering so please read through the warnings before reading this): cheating (in this Todo is the other man/reader is in a loveless marriage where her husband cheats on her/her husband is just a huge asshole), toxic relationship, sexual scenes, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your willy), oral sex (f! and m! receiving), dirty talk, multiple creampies, bathroom sex, praise, risky sex (they fuck at a party the reader and her husband is hosting), mention of a small altercation between Todo and reader’s husband, mention of a child & brief mention of pregnancy (not detailed), if I missed anything let me know

A/N: I do not condone, support or encourage cheating! It is not good, don’t do it! The song Me and Mrs. Jones by Billy Paul helped me with creating this piece so I recommend listening to it while reading this. This has depicted sex within this so MINORS DNI (I’m not gonna cry bc I don’t cry but I am not afraid to beat some ass) So I hope you all enjoy it, comments/reblogs are very appreciated!!! I also apologize in advance if formatting is weird on mobile :/

Flashbacks are bolded & italicized! Also separated by a border!

Todo walks up to the counter of the cafe and orders the usual for the both of you. He came early since he was done with work earlier than usual so after paying for the drinks he carried them to the special spot you two shared. Once seated he takes his phone out to check the time while taking a sip from his drink.

The time read 5:45. You got out fifteen minutes ago and your job wasn’t too far from the cafe, so you’d be there soon. The bell chimed to the cafe and Todo looked up to see you walk in.

His heart pounded in his chest, you looked as beautiful as you did the first day he met you all those years ago in high school. Once you two made eye contact you flashed him a smile and made your way over to him.

“Hey baby, I didn’t think you’d be here before me.”

He felt his cheeks flush at the pet name. You leaned down to hug him and give him a kiss, placing your hands on each side of his face caressing him as your lips met. Once you pulled away you sat down and started talking about your day at work.

He couldn’t help but lose focus as to what you were saying. He knew your day was tough from how your hair looked a bit disheveled from running your hands through it, a habit you had picked up when you were extremely stressed.

Time passed as the two of you spoke about each other’s days and then you were both done with your drinks.

“Wanna go home now Aoi? As much as I love it here I found this new recipe online that I would really like to try out!”

He nodded as you both got up, tipped the cashier one last time before heading to your shared home. The distance was short from where you both were currently and when you two were together even one hundred miles would feel like two blocks.

As Todo put the key in to unlock the door he sighed in content. Once you both were inside he took your jacket off and put it away. He leaned on the kitchen island while you started taking out ingredients for dinner.

“This isn’t a dream right Y/N?”

It just felt so unrealistic to him he just had to be dreaming. Your laughter filled the air as you walked towards him. You wrapped your arms around his body and looked up at him.

“While we did this in the most unconventional way it is very much real” you removed your left hand from his body to put your hand close to his line of view, “this ring you gave me a few months ago is proof of our love and the ring I gave you on your left ring finger is also proof of my love and dedication to you.”

Unconventional? Was that even the right word to explain the events that led you both to where you are now?

You started your arrangement with him two years ago. You became “Mrs. Jones” a year before that. A happy marriage was wished to the both of you, but your marriage was anything but that. Six months after you both said your I do’s you found your husband in bed with his boss. They didn’t even think about trying to conceal their affair.

To say it broke your heart was an understatement. You felt like he ripped your heart out of your chest and destroyed it slowly as you watched. Soon there were lonely nights filled with you drinking and crying yourself to sleep. Soon after you just became numb, you got used to putting up a facade whenever your friends or family asked how married life was.

The only one who knew of the affair and how horrible your marriage actually was, was your best friend Valerie. When she first found out you had to hold her back the next time she saw him because she was just filled with rage. You were trying to find a good divorce attorney, but you just didn’t have enough money yet, so you were stuck for the time being. Then it was time to plan how to celebrate one year since the day you married him.

Valerie said that she would bring a special surprise for you, but you just pushed it to the side. You settled on hosting a party at your parent’s house since it was big enough. The fake smile you had plastered on your face burned your soul more than the cheap ring on your finger. A cheap ring that meant the entire world one moment but now means absolutely nothing.

You were leaning on the wall, holding a glass of champagne, next to your husband as Valerie approached you.

“Y/N! You look absolutely stunning!” she gave your husband a side glance as she begrudgingly said his name, “Declan... anyways I have your surprise so come with me to the backyard!”

Before you could say anything she grabbed your hand and weaved both of you through the crowd of people. She opened the door and you almost dropped your glass at the sight.

“Aoi? I thought you were away in Sweden?”

Todo brings a hand to his neck.

“I was but my job relocated here, and Valerie told me everything. As much as I’d love to say congratulations, I can’t.”

Your body moves on its own as you approach him and hug him. He holds you on instinct and all that is heard is sniffles. You move back and quickly apologize for your abrupt actions.

“Hey, don’t apologize pretty girl” he brought his hands to cup your face and wiped the tears from your face, “Declan should be the one apologizing, how could he take someone like you for granted. I know you might not believe me, but you look just as beautiful as you did when we were in high school.”

The two of you were high school sweethearts but got accepted into different colleges. The inevitable happened and you both broke up, heading your separate ways losing contact. The last thing you heard about him was he had a job in Sweden and that was it. After college you met Declan and he seemed like a knight in shining armor, but it was too late for you to realize he was the devil in disguise.

You leaned into his touch as if you two were the only ones there. Only if he was the one you married; you both would be so happy. You wouldn’t have to worry about any mistresses or affairs because even in this moment you felt all his love. Todo moved in and before you knew it you felt his lips on yours.

You melted into the kiss immediately kissing him back until he abruptly pulled away.

“I am so sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to you’re still married, and this is the anniversary party and he’s inside—”

“I don’t care about Declan. The only one I care about is you. Valerie always says I should be a little selfish and now is the time. I still care about you Aoi, I still love you. The piece of my heart that left with you is now back and I’m whole again. I understand if you’re not comfortable with this, I am trying to find a lawyer and once I get the promotion at my job I can finally pay for one.”

You looked up at him hoping he would indulge you in one last kiss even if it would be the last one you two ever shared. You watched as a smile grew on his handsome face.

“I love you too Y/N, I always had and I always will. When Valerie told me about everything I cannot explain the anger I felt not only at him but also myself. If I never left then you wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe you would’ve been with me.”

He leaned down and placed another kiss on your lips. Before it could continue Valerie ran out to the both of you.

“Hey lovebirds as much as I love seeing you two together Declan is starting a toast and wants his wife by his side.”

She rolled her eyes as your husband’s name left her lips. You took a deep breath and turned inside, Valerie and Todo following you. You took another deep breath as you made your way to your husband putting up the fake smile. He handed you a glass of champagne and started the toast.

“This past year with my beautiful wife by my side has been the best year of my life. Waking up next to her every morning is what fuels my fire. I love this woman so much and marrying her was the best decision of my life. Thank you all for coming and supporting us. Here’s to a happy, healthy marriage and for many more years to come!”

As glasses clinked and cheers filled the room you were filled with disgust at his words. How could he spew such garbage knowing it meant absolutely nothing?

“Come on honey, you can do a better job with that fake fucking smile. Make everyone believe that we’re in love and that I haven’t fucked almost every single one of my coworkers. Maybe I’ll even indulge in you tonight.”

“Fuck you Declan, you piece of shit.”

You excused yourself to the bathroom shoving your heel into his foot making him wince in pain. Todou followed you upstairs a few minutes afterwards hearing your sobs. He knocked on the door once, twice until your shaky voice responded.

“Hey it’s me, I wanted to check on you.”

He waited hearing your heels click on the ground until you reached the door to open it. You looked up at him with tear stained cheeks, eyes puffy from all the rubbing and wiping your tears away. Todo looked at you with so much love it was as if Eros struck him with his bow.

He quickly placed his lips on yours, the kiss feverish but also very loving. As if he was telling you how much he loved you each time his lips met yours. He picked you up and placed you on top of the bathroom sink, quickly running to shut and lock the bathroom door.

“Please let me make you forget about him. Please let me show you what it is like to make love and not fuck. Please Y/N.”

All you did was nod before placing your lips back on his allowing your hands to slide down and undo his belt. He allowed you to undo his belt and pants letting them hit the ground while he was lifting the skirt of your dress up.

“As much as I’d love to take my time worshipping your body we have to make this pretty quick beautiful. But please if you want to stop at any time stop me.”

You nodded at him as you felt his hand lightly graze your clothed pussy. He moved your panties to one side as he slipped a finger in, slowly moving it then inserting a second finger moving it just as slow but each movement made you moan and shiver. You started getting impatient and you grabbed his wrist.

“Please Aoi, please make love to me.”

He slotted his lips against yours again as he removed his cock from his boxers. Moving the tip against your folds making you both moan in the kiss. Once he entered you, slowly and gentle, you broke away from the kiss to throw your head back and moan. Once you gave him the okay he started thrusting.

“Fuck, you’re so tight baby. Just holding me like you don’t want me to let go.”

He moved faster hitting all the right spots. It was as if his cock was designed to fit inside your pussy. Both of your moans and groans filled the small bathroom. It quickly became heated as the mirror started to fog up. He started thrusting into you faster and harder making you throw your hands on the mirror for stabilization.

He placed sloppy kisses along the column of your neck. He lifted himself from your neck to lick two of his fingers and place them on your clit, moving them in small tight circles.

“Come on baby cum for me. Cum all over my cock and I will fill you up. I’ll make this pretty little pussy so fucking messy with my cum and you’ll walk around in that party filled with it. You look so fucking gorgeous baby. I love you so much.”

That sent you off the edge, creaming on his cock with a high pitched moan of his name. He continued pounding your pussy through your orgasm as he was nearing his own. You pulled him in for another kiss running your nails up and down his clothed chest. Feeling your nails against him made him reach his own peak, filling you completely with his cum.

Todo peppered kisses along your lips, swollen and puffy from kissing so intensely, as you both came down from your highs.

“I’m going to pull out now okay?”

“Okay that’s fine.”

You didn’t need to tell Todo to be gentle, he was already treating you like fine glass. He slowly pulled out and quickly moved your underwear to cover your cum filled pussy. A low chuckle left his lips.

“Don’t want you leaking cum all over the place.”

He lifted you off the bathroom sink after picking up both his pants and boxers. Before you could even smooth out your dress Todo did it for you, fixing any flyaways in your hair and placing one last kiss on your lips. He unlocked the door and helped lead you to the stairs.

“We should head down at separate times so we don’t look so suspicious.”

You nodded, placing one last kiss one his lips.

“I love you Aoi.”

“I love you too Y/N.”

You went downstairs and walked to your parents. You had a small limp and it filled both Aoi and yourself with joy seeing how your husband stared, completely confused at you. Valerie leaned next to you close to your ear.

“I already gave Aoi your phone number, go get that dick again.”

She lightly smacked your ass, a small yelp leaving your lips. The party went on for a couple more hours, lingering glances shared between you and Todo. When the party ended you had to figure out a ride situation since your husband drank way too much and you were a little tipsy.

Declan’s brother offered to take him back and before he could offer you a ride Todo came up and offered to take you home, to which you immediately agreed. The ride was filled with laughter and talk of memories. Also, when Todo parked at a secluded area near where you live you thanked him for the ride with a mind blowing blowjob.

He dropped you off in front of your place, being the gentleman he is, he walked you to the front door giving you one last kiss.

“I hope to see you again soon beautiful angel.”

“How about tomorrow? We could go get drinks or dinner.”

“There’s a cafe near my job, I’ll text you the address. Meet me there tomorrow when you’re done with work.”

You nodded as you fished your keys out of your purse. Taking a deep breath you unlocked the door and put your things away, heading straight to the guest bedroom because you refuse to sleep in the same bed Declan had all his whores in.

You thought he went to sleep until you heard a groan of your name. You rolled your eyes and continued going to the guest bedroom, ignoring him until you felt a hand grab your wrist.

“What do you want Declan?”

“What, I can’t touch my wife? You looked really sexy tonight so I thought I might do you the favor of fucking you.”

Fire burned in your veins. Every time you tried to pull yourself away from his hold, his grip got tighter.

“Declan, you’re drunk, and I hate you. Even if I was drunk I still wouldn’t go to bed with you, so make good friends with your hand or call one of your whores up because I will never sleep with you again.”

He turned you around.

“Listen here you bitch, you will never talk to me like that ever again. I did you the fucking favor of marrying your sorry ass now you treat me like this? I haven’t touched you in fucking months and this is what you tell me? Fuck you.”

“My sorry ass? Did me a favor? Did you also do me a favor by cheating on me over and over again? Did you do me a fucking favor then Declan? Rubbing it in my face that you didn’t love me the way I loved you, fucking anything that had tits and bringing them back here. I. Fucking. Hate. You. Rot. In. Hell. I don’t know what those girls see in you anyways, I had to fake almost all my orgasms and your dick has a weird curve, you should go see a doctor for that actually. I can’t wait until I have the money to divorce you and properly leave your sorry ass in the dust.”

You snatched your arm from his grip and locked yourself in the guest bedroom. You took off the heels and unzipped your dress letting it hit the ground as you made your way to the bathroom that was connected to the room. You took off the ring on your left hand flushing it down the toilet.

“That’ll be the last I see of you.”

You turned on the shower letting the water run, steam filling up the bathroom fogging up the mirror. You slipped your panties off the memory of your time with Aoi in the bathroom of your parents’ house filling your mind as you picked up the cum stained panties and put them in the laundry basket.

You entered the shower letting the water run over your body. After your shower you put your pajamas on and sent a goodnight text to Todo setting up the time for meeting at the cafe tomorrow. The next morning you woke up to an empty house, you let out a sigh of relief not wanting to deal with Declan after the stunt he pulled last night.

Your day at work went fairly quickly then it was the end of your workday. Inputting the address Todo gave you into the GPS you realized the drive was going to be pretty short. Once you found parking you walked into the cafe, the little bell on the door chiming with the movement. You looked around and saw Todo sitting at a corner side table, isolated from most of the crowd.

That’s when you started the arrangement. He was fine with being the sideman for now until he could properly have you to himself. Little dates and mind blowing sex filled your lives for the next four months.

~Four Months Later~

Todo was sitting at the table that basically became the unofficially assigned table for you both as he heard the chime to the door. His head shot up expecting you to come through the doorway. It was just an elderly couple. He checked his phone again, checking for any new messages from you and nothing. Just the last message that read: “I’ll see you soon my love”.

Today was the day you would find out if you got the promotion. With the promotion you would get a huge increase in your salary and a $2,000 advance once it was official. $2,000 was the amount you needed to finally afford the divorce lawyer.

Ten minutes passed and Todo ordered another drink for himself. To say he was nervous for you would be an understatement. He was fidgeting like crazy. He received the drink and sat back down at the table. The door chimed again and he looked up to finally see you.

You waved at him and gave him a small smile. Worry filled him and he was afraid to ask you how everything went.

“There’s no way she didn’t get the promotion. She has the best relationship with her boss and she works so hard.” He thought to himself.

You greeted him with a kiss on his head and sat down. He stood silent watching you.

“So I should tell you about what happened at work right Aoi?”

“You don’t have to honey, it’s fine.”

A smile graced your face, a genuine smile, the only type of smile that you shared with Todo since he filled you with genuine happiness.

“I got the promotion.”

Todo sat there in shock.

“What? What did you just say?”

“I got the promotion. I just came back from meeting the divorce lawyer to fill out necessary paperwork, that’s why I came so late.”

He got up from his seat and lifted you up into his arms.

“I’m so happy. I could yell from the rooftops.”

So he did the next best thing, he yelled about your promotion to the entire cafe. The people inside applauded you and gave you words of encouragement. The elderly man approached the both of you after Todo put you down.

“Congratulations to you young lady. This young man seems to be extremely proud of you. I didn’t mean to interrupt the celebration but it’s just that the both of you remind both my wife and I of us when we were younger. While we met under unconventional circumstances we have spent the past 30 years together. I wish you both a happy, healthy relationship.”

You both thanked the old man and watched him walk back to his wife.

“Do you think we’ll be like them one day Aoi?”

He pulled you close to him.

“I don’t think we will, I have a feeling I know we will. Now let’s go pick up your things and bring you back to my place to properly celebrate.”

He drove you to your house and walked with you inside to pack your clothes. In the midst of packing things you both heard the front door slam shut, meaning one thing: Declan was home.

“Care to explain the car in front Y/N? I know you don’t have enough money to afford a new one.”

You sighed and continued packing with Todo.

“I was asking you a fucking question -- oh who’s this? Why are you packing? Oh I get it now, finally got a new guy to deal with your shit? Good luck buddy--”

Before Declan could get another sentence out Todo walked over and shoved him against the wall.

“Don’t you ever speak to Y/N like that again asshole. For your information, she’s leaving you and coming with me. A guy who actually loves her.”

Declan stood there shocked that someone stood up to him. Once you zipped up your bag Todo left Declan to help you. Todo walked behind you with your bag in his hand. You turned one last time to Declan.

“Oh by the way I’ve been having sex with Aoi for the last four months and the first time was at the anniversary party. The reason I was limping was because of him not because of my heels. And you’ll be getting my divorce papers soon, go fuck yourself Declan.”

You walked with Todo to his car and he drove you back to the cafe so you could bring your car to his place. Once you entered through the front door he was on top of you. Placing sloppy kisses all over your lips and neck.

“You looked so fucking sexy there Y/N.”

He picked you up and brought you to his bedroom while you were peppering kisses along his neck. He put you on the bed and started stripping, you followed suit until you were left in your bra and panties and he was left in his boxers.

He pushed you down on the bed and crawled over you. Placing kisses down your body, removing your bra once he got to your chest and removing your panties once he got to your hips. Not one inch of your body was left untouched by his lips except your pussy. The place you needed him most.

“Aoi please.”

“Please what baby? Tell me what you want.”

“Need you—your mouth on my pussy please.”

He wasted no time. He licked from your leaking entrance to your engorged clit. Making you throw your head back.

“I don’t know how but you taste better every time. I’m fucking addicted to how you taste.”

He dove back in, wrapping his lips around your clit and using a finger to tease your entrance. He was alternating between light sucks and harsh sucks making you buck your hips against his mouth.

“Aoi please fuck me. Wanna cum on your cock please.”

He gave your clit one last suck and took the finger he used to circle your entrance and put it in your mouth. The feeling of your tongue swirling around his finger made him even harder if that was possible. He stood up and took off his boxers, throwing them to a random area in the room.

He spit on his hand and pumped himself a few times as he made his way back on the bed.

“Are you ready my love?”

You spoke breathlessly “yes Aoi, please.”

He aligned himself and entered you slowly, going inch by inch until he bottomed out inside you. A moan leaving both of your lips.

“And correction my love, I don’t fuck you” you furrowed your brows but that expression quickly changed when he pulled himself back until only the head of his cock was inside you and he bottomed out again in a swift movement, “I make love to you.”

He leaned down placing his forearms on either side of your head slotting his lips against yours. His thrusts slowly increase in speed. He breaks the kiss to praise you.

“My beautiful girl is so talented. You look so gorgeous right now. So fucking beautiful, I love you Y/N. I love you so much.”

“Aoi, feels s’good. Please I’m gonna cum soon. You fill me so good, like you were made for me.”

You wrap your legs around his waist and he slides his hand down between the two of you to rub circles around your clit. Your moans start increasing in pitch signaling that you’re going to cum. You bring your hands to his back and rake your nails down, digging into his skin, sure to leave marks. His ruts increased in speed bringing you to your orgasm.

“Fuck baby you’re clenching my cock so tight. I’m gonna cum so deep in your pussy baby. I’m gonna fill you up every single day because now you are mine.”

He emphasized each word with a hard thrust. He buries his face in the crook of your neck. Once he cums he sinks his teeth in trying to conceal the guttural moan that leaves his mouth. Coming down from his high he lifts his head up.

“I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to—”

“There’s no need to apologize Aoi, I’m sorry about the scratches on your back.”

“Don’t apologize pretty girl, with how often we’re going to be making love I’ll get used to it.”

He slowly pulled out and you felt the cum leak out of you. He picked you up and carried you bridal style to the shower. Let’s just say both of you were lucky that the neighbors were gone for the night.

~1 year later~

The both of you have been together for a year and four months. Todo was by your side the entire time throughout the divorce preceding. Comforting you and supporting you the entire time. Once your divorce was finalized your relationship received an official title.

Both of you were extremely happy but there was the voice in the back of Todo’s head that gave him doubts. When he went to go engagement ring shopping with Valerie the voice was there.

As he picked out the perfect ring for you the voice was there. His head was filled with doubts. Of course he loved you, he loved you more than anyone or anything in the world. He knew you loved him. His love for you was immortal, unconditional but he wasn’t so sure if it was the same for you.

That voice in his head hammering doubts over and over again it made him nervous. He started to wonder if he should bring the ring back. If he should change his mind. It was that voice.

“What if she gets tired of you like her husband did with her? What if she finds someone better than you? What if she doesn’t love you as much as you love her? Could you handle the heartbreak Aoi? Could you?”

He started getting distant from you, less kisses in the morning, leaving without saying goodbye, barely initiating sex, it made you worried. What if he’s getting tired of you like Declan? You texted him wanting to meet at the cafe after work. He just sent back a simple “okay”.

Reading it made you even more nervous than before. When you were done with work you drove as slow as you possibly could to the nearby parking lot. You opened the door to the cafe and once you looked around you saw Todo there, fidgeting.

“Is he going to end things with me? We were supposed to move to the new house next week.” You wondered to yourself, you both had so many plans for the future but the future is uncertain.

You sat down and it was silent. He nudged your drink over to you and that was the most interaction you got from him since you got there. It killed you to not talk to him and it was killing him too.

“Y/N, I’m scared.”

You looked into his eyes and saw the fear within them. But what could he possibly be scared about?

“Aoi, what’s wrong? What’s scaring you?”

“What if you get tired of me? What if you meet someone better than me? What if—”

“Aoi. Stop that please” your voice started shaking, it broke your heart to see the man you love being plagued with such fears.

“Aoi, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. You’re my love. You’re my soulmate. You make me happier than anyone in this world. You brighten up my day, the small things you do make me fall even more in love with you.”

You got up and bent down to hug him. You pulled back holding his face in your hands.

“Aoi I will never get tired of you. I let you leave me once and I never plan on doing it ever again. I love you Aoi Todo, I will love you until my heart stops beating and I will love you long after that. In every life I will look for you to recreate this love over and over again. If I had to go back in time I would go through this all over again just to be right here with you.”

Tears were falling down both of your faces by the time you stopped speaking. You wiped his tears away and he lifted his hands to wipe yours away. He pulled your face closer to his and kissed you.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so so sorry.”

He muttered apologies against your lips and when you both pulled away it was his turn to speak. You sat back down holding his hands above the table.

“I just got scared Y/N. I love you so much and I just can’t imagine my life without you. I look forward to the future with you, I want you by my side through every single endeavor. You’re my everything. You’re the sun that brightens my day. You’re the stars that shine through my night sky. You’re the air that I breathe. I love you.”

You stood up and pulled him along with you as you both walked out of the cafe. You drove the both of you home and once you entered you led him to the bedroom. Once you entered you undid his work shirt and pants stripping him to his underwear. You led him to the bed and sat him down.

“I never want you to question my love for you ever again.”

You kissed him and placed kisses down his body. Little nibbles along his pecs, a flick of your tongue along his nipples, slow sensual kisses until you reached the waistband of his boxers. You tugged at the waistband and he lifted his hips to help you properly take them off.

His cock slapped against his abdomen. You took it in your hand and gave it a few gentle strokes. You placed featherlight kisses from the head of his cock to the base. You took his head into your mouth swirling your tongue around it and letting it go with a pop.

You took your hand and spit on it using it to lube his cock for you and you started to take more of him into your mouth. His moans and groans filling the room along with the sounds of you gagging yourself on his cock.

When you popped up for air looking at him he could swear he just saw a goddess in front of him. Even with your saliva and tears coating your face he has never seen anyone more beautiful than you. Even Aphrodite herself could not even come close to your beauty.

You got up and stripped off your clothing. You pushed him back gently to lay on the bed as you straddled him aligning his cock with your pussy. You sunk yourself down onto him, he tossed his head back into the bed feeling your warm slick walls welcome him in.

You started moving up and down slowly before gaining a rhythm bouncing on his cock. You moved your upper body close to his grabbing his face and making eye contact.

“I love you—ah fuck—Aoi. I love you so much. You fuck me so good. You are so handsome. Thank you for loving me.”

You felt his arms reach around your waist as planted his feet on the ground to pound into you. Once he started jackhammering into you repeatedly hitting your g-spot you felt yourself cumming around him over and over again.

He used this position to pull as many orgasms as he could from you until he had his own and with how tight you were around him it would be extremely soon. You felt his cock twitch inside you.

“Please cum inside me Aoi, please please please. I need you to fill me up please I need your cum.”

He pulled you down and his hips lifted bottoming out inside you, filling you with his cum. You let your full weight go onto him as you were catching your breath. Hard breaths filled the room. You looked at him and kissed him again.

“I love you Aoi.”

“I love you more Y/N.”

The following week you both moved into your forever home. Todo made dinner and ordered your favorite dessert to celebrate the move. It was also the day that he was going to propose. He knew how much you hated public proposals and receiving unnecessary attention so why not do it at home?

When you were doing the dishes making small conversation on how you saw a documentary about female serial killers he got the ring and went on one knee.

“So all of her victims were just random men who had green eyes, isn’t that—”

“Y/N.”

You turned around and dropped the sponge in your hand. Your jaw drops at the sight of the man you love and the most beautiful ring you have ever seen.

“Y/N, you have made me the happiest man the past year and four months. Time with you has been amazing. You make me feel like I have been floating on air and I never want to come down. I love you so much. Will you continue this journey of life with me, as my wife?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

You bent down to kiss him and he slipped the ring on your left finger. A few seconds later Valerie called, already aware of what Todo was planning to do. You set the date of the wedding six months from the day of the proposal.

The wedding was small and filled with only close friends and family. It was the happiest day of your life and everyone preferred Todo over your ex husband, even your father, who never liked any of your boyfriends.

“I like this guy a lot Y/N, I mean I’ve always liked him.”

“Dad you threatened to hunt him down when we first started dating in high school.”

“Oh honey it’s just dad stuff but that was a promise and it still stands.”

“Dad! He’s not like that, he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world and like I’m a precious gem.”

You both looked over at Todo sharing a dance with your mom and when he looked at you, you could see your future in them. Wherever he would go you would be there beside him as his wife.

“this ring you gave me a few months ago is proof of our love and the ring I gave you on your left ring finger is also proof of my love and dedication to you.” Todo leaned forward and kissed you holding you in his arms.

“I never thought that one person could make me feel so loved and make me feel so much love for them Y/N.”

Now married life was doing the both of you well. Nothing could tear the both of you apart. Not even the news on your one year anniversary that you both were going to have your first child. If Todo felt like he was on cloud nine before then holding your beautiful, healthy son in his arms made him feel he was in seventh heaven.

A/N pt2: thank you all for reading this, I’m really excited about how this work turned out I hope you all enjoyed it. This is by far my longest fic so I really appreciate you reading it through. I have much more on the way, if you have any requests my ask is open! Again thank you so much for reading I appreciate you all! — D <3

#aoi toudou x reader #aoi todo x f!reader #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen fluff #x female reader #tw cheating #tw toxic behavior #tw toxic relationship #tw unprotected sex #Aoi todo smut

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acreativeme · 3 years ago

Text

It Started as Stress Relief

Kenny Crosby x Reader

When they met, neither of them were looking for anything more than stress relief. Kenny Crosby had just gotten out of the military and was in a dark place. Y/N Gibson was working on her law degree and needed to let off some steam. They had met at a bar in New York City as they both relocated to the crowded city to get away from something.

It was only supposed to be a one night thing, but it quickly turned into them hooking up at least three times a week. After three months, they were cooking for each other and meeting for coffee. A couple of months later, they were sharing secrets, hopes, and dreams. At the same time, Kenny was applying to the FBI academy and Y/N was studying for the bar exam--which had them spending less and less time with each other. It took them being apart for several weeks to make them realize that they cared more for the other than they had originally planned.

Like a movie, they met in the middle of Time Square with rain pouring down around them. Though they were both physically fit individuals, they were panting and out of breath.

Y/N through herself into his arms, wanting to feel his warmth for the first time in weeks. “Kenny…” She whispered, pulling him in tight.

He wrapped his arms around her, enjoying her familiar comfort. “Y/N…”

“I missed you…” She mumbled as she buried herself into his neck.

He hummed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I missed you too.”

She pulled away enough to look up at him, “I don’t why it took me so long to realize that I can’t go a day without you. It has been the hardest last weeks of my life without you.” She blushed.

He grinned at her reddening cheeks. “You took the words right out of my mouth.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

It went without saying that they were an item after that. After Kenny graduated from the academy and joined the Fugitive Task Force, they had decided to move in together as it made sense with him being away a lot.

It wasn’t until he came home and explained that there was a member of his team with her last name, that Y/N realized that she hadn’t told him about her sister--who happened to also be an FBI Agent. “Kenny.. I have something to say..”

He looked up from his go-bag and the dirty clothes he was pulling out. “Yeah, what is it?”

She set her wine glass on the counter. “I have a sister, her name is Hana Gibson. She is an FBI agent and I think that she is on your team.” She pulled out her phone to pull up some pictures.

His eyes widened as he looked over her shoulder to see the photo, “oh shit. That’s my teammate.”

Y/N sighed, closing her eyes. “I feel like a shit sister for not mentioning her before, I guess I got too wrapped in studying for the bar. I have pictures that I have been meaning to hang up, but I am not handy.”

Kenny wrapped his arms around her waist. “It is okay, baby.” He kissed her forehead. “Do you want us to tell your sister about us?”

Y/N shook her head no. “Not yet, I just want to keep this between us for right now.”

He nodded in acceptance. “Okay, but we will have to tell her eventually.”

...3 Years Later..

So, they have let time get away from them..and still haven’t told Hana, or any of the team, about their relationship. After Y/N passed the bar, she got a job with the US Attorney's office working White Collar crimes-- which includes a lot of time and paperwork. Kenny had been getting called away on more cases that kept him busy. Whenever Hana would visit with Y/N, Kenny would be out on a guys night and would come home after Hana left. If the sisters had sleepovers, they would happen at Hana’s place. If the team was talking about their personal life, Kenny had to be careful about what he said. He couldn’t give any specific details, so he had to say that he was still feeling things out.

It wasn’t until they were having a date night after Kenny got home from a hard case, that their secret came to light. It was about a veteran going through a PTSD break and thinking that he was being hunted by insurgents. Y/N saw the pain in his eyes, so she took him out to his favorite restaurant and bowling-- his secret favorite hobby.

“Y/N? Kenny?” Hana asked, as she and the team stepped out of a Chinese restaurant.

The couple froze, nearly dropping their ice cream as they stopped. They shared a look before turning towards the team. “Hi…” They echoed, waving awkwardly.

Hana stepped forward, confusion evident on her face. “Are you guys on a date? How do you even know each other?”

Sheryll Barnes looked at Clinton, “they are screwed.”

Y/N stepped towards her sister. “I am going to be real with you, Hana. Kenny and I have been together for almost 4 years. We met and started dating just after he got out of the Army and joined the FBI. We originally only planned to keep us a secret for a little bit, but life got in the way.” She paused, tearing up at how upset Hana looked. “Then we got so far into this that we didn’t know how to tell you.”

Hana looked away from Y/N to glare at Kenny. “So, the anonymous woman that you were talking about was Y/N?”

Kenny rubbed the back of his head. “Yes. There is so much about her that I love, so I didn’t have to lie about anything but the name.”

Y/N looked back at him with a smile. “You talk about me?”

He grinned lovingly at her. “Of course.”

Hana gagged. “I think that I prefer not knowing about you guys.”

Everyone laughed as Y/N launched herself at her sister, wrapping her in a tight hug. “I love you, Hana..”

Hana groaned, “yeah, yeah, yeah…”

#FBI Most Wanted #fbi most wanted imagine #Kenny Crosby #Kenny Crosby imagines #requested #secret relationship #imagines #one shots #sweetswriting

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shinysobi · 3 years ago

Text

i came in from the outside, burnt out from the joyride (ii)

this was born out of a conversation with @akinosakiya, so all credits go to her >.<

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | coming soon

ao3

(A/N: so... i am extremely sorry for not updating,,, uni and life has been generally kicking my ass pretty horribly (im in my final semester lol) and while i am not generally very happy with this chapter, it is important because it sets up a lot of things in the future yeeet)

word count: 4955

Attorney Park wishes her good luck as she leaves for the courthouse the next day, and Sol can’t help but feel as though he was laughing at her for some reason, and frantically checks for food stuck in her teeth on the way to the courthouse. There isn’t any, so she’s left to wonder exactly what the hell he meant when he had sent her off with a very cryptic “see you soon, Kang Sol.”

“What did he even mean?” she mutters to herself, calling her sister, “Ah, Byeol, remember to go to your academy today, all right?”

“Okay, eonni,” her sister replies, “you’re at the courthouse, aren’t you?”

“Hmm, I have a case to win,” she replies, and Byeol wishes her good luck before the call goes silent, and she allows herself a rare moment of self-reflection, taking in the image of the Courthouse. It’s imposing, but she curiously feels at home here, in the middle of the city where the noise of the cars is so loud, she can’t hear the person next to her sometimes. There’s something magical about the courthouse, and she isn’t romanticising it, but the idea of fighting for justice, no matter how imperfect, it fills her with pride, even more so when she knows that what she is doing is for good.

Not to say that there aren’t any downsides to it, either. She gets threats almost on the daily, from disgruntled clients and from people who want her to take the case, even though she knows it would be an affront to her dignity. The Dean’s voice floats into her ear, reciting the Attorneys-at-act law that allows her to reject a case if she wants to. Right. It does not feel like an insult to her now like it had done then, the act, because she chose to take this case on, and yet, here she is, standing in front of the courthouse, wearing her nicest clothes (Yeseul had raised an eyebrow, but she was too tired to pay any attention to her) and dreading her turn to go inside.

“Eonni!” a voice calls out, and it’s Yeseul, dressed for a case, “how long do you have before you have to go in?” Sol doesn’t need to check her watch to tell the time that is left, ten minutes on the dot, and she’s waiting for her client to come through, still in police custody, something which she had failed to stop, “are you staring off into space again?”

She recovers quickly, “no, I was just waiting for the defendant to be brought here by the police.” She turns to Yeseul, who’s evidently not had much sleep, “why are you here in my case? Didn’t you wrap one up today?”

“Ah, I did,” Yeseul smiles, taking a hold of Sol’s arm, “but I’m here now, aren’t I? I thought you would need some support, you know, since you—”

She doesn’t complete the sentence. She doesn’t need to. Sol smiles at her, loops their arms together, and says, “do you want to have coffee?”

Yeseul grins, “I’d love to.”

—

No matter how many times she’s walked in here, and no matter how much the courthouse makes her feel at ease, there’s still a part of her that is anxious when she stands in front of it, hoping that she might be able to provide adequate justice to the person she was defending. It throws her off sometimes, the court of law. But she can always find her way back to it, and perhaps this is why she loves it, loves being able to defend people from being betrayed by the same system that they had put so much trust in, betrayed, just like she had been. It’s as though the law is apologising to her, albeit in its own, slightly twisted way.

The defendant, Je Sang-Hee, sits at her designated position, looking at her, and Sol draws herself up to her full height, careful to not catch anyone’s eye on the other side of the courthouse. Its oddly suffocating, the courthouse today, the air thick with a sort of anticipation that she doesn’t really want to address. Yeseul squeezes her arm, whispering, “you’ll do good, eonni,” and all of a sudden, she’s standing there, alone, with only her wits there for help. Shit. I wish I had had gotten drunk last night. At least this would have been hazier.

She approaches the bench, the defendant sitting silently, and tries to reassure her, “don’t worry, we’ll clear your name, all right?” she’s met with silence, as Sang-Hee only nods, her eyes welling with unshed tears. It’s heart-breaking, the way Sang-Hee has accepted her punishment, accepted that she would be going to prison anyway, so, nothing really matters. Sol doesn’t want that for her. She doesn’t want that for anyone, not even the worst of criminals. Sure, she may not be defending them in the court of law, but everyone should benefit from the assumption of innocence. She may not be the one speaking up for them, but she does wish that people have the opportunity to prove themselves innocent.

There aren’t many people in attendance in the courthouse today, which is a blessing, but she also has to deal with pesky reporters stationed outside, who seemed to have taken an interest in the woman accused of attempted murder, despite having really, no evidence against her. It was funny, how people jumped to conclusions, just because of the person’s backgrounds, or due to a particular defamatory article that may have been published about them online. Sang-Hee had had one published about her, filled with lies so vile that Sol couldn’t even read through it once.

“Sang-Hee ssi,” She says, approaching the defendant’s bench, “how are you feeling today?”

Je Sang-Hee looks at her, eyes still shining with tears, and lowers her gaze. She can’t even speak. Sol is angry, of course, but even more than the anger that simmers inside of her, is frustration, for not being able to protect her client, frustration at being unable to be the person there for the victim.

“Eonni,” Yeseul’s voice drags her out of her little reverie, “eonni, I think Joon-hwi oppa is here now.”

Sol squints at the younger girl, “who told you that?”

Yeseul holds up her phone, “Bok-gi is going to be here too, so he texted me. The two of them are going to come along, him and Jiho. Jiho should be here by now, but he hasn’t texted yet.”

Sol just—stares at Yeseul for a moment, trying to understand the volley of information that had just been thrown at her, in a manner not unlike that of Professor Yang, the man who, Sol recollects with regret, had heard about this whole mess from Sol B, but had not once offered to help. She didn’t need his help, though. It’s just that he could have offered to help her, and it would have been nice.

“Eonni,” Yeseul says, warning evident in her voice, “he’s here.”

What she doesn’t say, but Sol knows, is the sentence, don’t worry, I’m here for you. I’ll be here for you. She didn’t need it, per se, but it felt nice to know that at least one person had her back in this courthouse. Bok-gi was of course, on her side too, but she knew he wouldn’t sacrifice Joon-Hwi. Not now, anyway.

“You have your back to the Prosecutor’s bench,” Yeseul elbows her lightly, and she realises that yes, she has indeed been standing with her back towards the Prosecution’s bench all this while, and most importantly, there was someone behind her.

“Attorney Kang,” She knows that voice, has heard it in her head for years now, but Kang Sol finds herself unable to lift her gaze from the linoleum floor as she grasps the warm hand that was now being offered to her, “nice to meet you, finally.”

There’s a teasing lilt to the last word, a certain edge to the syllable that she knows all too well, having been subjected to it for hours on end, in classes, in the copy room, in the café, even in her mind. It’s from a voice she knows all too well, someone she had wronged.

Courage, Kang Sol.

“Hello, Prosecutor Han,” she looks up, extending one hand to the man in front of her, and—

She didn’t have any expectations of how she would meet Han Joon-Hwi after so many years, but in the deeper recesses of her mind, she had a thought; of his eyes widening at seeing her face for the first time in so many years, her falling in love with him all over again. She had thought of looking—no, not just looking, looking at him, for the first time in so many years, after that one fateful day when she ignored the words of her heat and went running far away from him, perhaps falling in love all over again.

Instead—she feels nothing. Perhaps a pang of guilt somewhere in the recesses of her mind, but when she looks into the eyes of Han Joon-Hwi, her best friend, the person she had fallen in love with, Kang Sol doesn’t see anyone but a weathered prosecutor, the boy who had called out her name on graduation day in Hankuk Law school long gone. Even though he looks not a day older, even though his eyes still crinkle in the same way when he smiles, and his hand still holds the same weight when he takes her hand for a handshake, but she can’t find the boy she was in love with anymore.

“Attorney Kang,” he grins, and his voice is the same, teasing when he looks at her, smiles at her, but he is her opponent, she has to defeat him today. This isn’t preparing for mock trials and judicial competitions, where they only played at being lawyers and prosecutors, this is real life. Je Sang-Hee’s life depends upon her, Kang Sol, winning this case. Against him, Han Joon-Hwi.

“Noona, nice to see you again,” Bok-gi pushes forward, giving her a warm hug, which does its job to dissipate all errant thoughts of a boy whose smile had haunted her in her dreams, “I’ll be watching today, my law firm asked me to—”

“Don’t worry about that,” she assures him, “you can take all the notes you want.” He’s still looking at her, she realises when she lets go of Bok-gi, Han Joon-Hwi is still staring at me. Do I have something in my teeth? “Good luck today, Prosecutor Han.”

He grins at her then, dimpled smile making her heart skip a beat, and says, “I don’t need luck, Attorney Kang,” before sauntering off to his seat.

Kang Sol clenches her jaw. Asshole.

He wasn’t sure how it would be—their meeting for the first time, but Joon isn’t going to say he’s dissatisfied with it. sure, she’s grown up now—she isn’t Kang Sol A anymore, she goes by just Kang Sol, and he doesn’t have the pesky tag of second-round judicial passer hanging around his neck anymore.

She had stared him down, and to no surprise, he still found her beautiful. Sure, he had always thought that there was a sort of magnetic aura around Sol, something that commanded the attention of an entire room when she walked in. She looked the same as she had looked, five years ago, when he had tried to confess to her, and she had rejected him. Sol hadn’t told him that she was rejecting him, at least not explicitly; Han Joon-Hwi was a man who could take a hint, especially if it ran away from him while he was in the middle of his confession. Really, Kang Sol. You made me chase you all the way to this courtroom.

A hand slams down on his desk, and Seo Jiho’s irritated voice tells him, “If you’re going to stare, at least do it properly.”

He sputters, suddenly thankful that his co-prosecutor was running late, as he stood up to stare at his ex-roommate, who was porting a very uncharacteristic grin, “what do you mean by that? I wasn’t staring.”

“Sure, you weren’t,” Jiho says, and even Bok-gi sniggers at him, “you were just looking in the general direction of Sol noona, so much so that everyone in the room thinks that the two of you are either dating, or that you want to kill her. Personally, I prefer the latter.”

He doesn’t say anything, just grumbles under his breath, and Jiho presses on, “did you prepare well for this case? You do realise that your evidence is weak, do you?”

“Ah, of course, hyung knows it,” Bok-gi steps in to intervene, and Joon-Hwi thinks for a moment that yes, Bok-gi was always one of the better ones, and then he opens his mouth again, “he’s just ignoring all the things he said before entering the courthouse, and proving to all of us how much of a hypocrite he is.”

Joon glares at Bok-gi, who is giggling at him now, and turns to look at the judge’s bench a pout on his face. Sure, he had proclaimed in the car that he would “not be looking at her, nope”, and the fact that it had taken him exactly three minutes to break that promise was bit laughable, but his friends didn’t have to rub it into his face.

“I don’t understand,” Bok-gi asks, “why are you still hung up on her? You basically took this case just so you could meet her again, and even though the two of you haven’t talked in years, you still talk about her, you still ask about her when you get the chance, so what is going on?”

Joon-Hwi doesn’t answer. He knows what is going on, why he has been so intent on meeting Kang Sol, even after so long, but he doesn’t want to—no, he can’t tell Bok-gi that. He feels a pang of guilt whenever he even thinks of telling Bok-gi the actual reason behind him running after Sol, even though she had made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want to have anything to do with him.

He wonders, sometimes.

His co-prosecutor arrives in the courtroom, almost gliding over the floor to take their seat, and he can see Kang Sol shrink back a little, obviously intimidated. He doesn’t hide his smile anymore, not that he needs to either. She didn’t have to get flustered over his co-prosecutor entering the damn courtroom. She’s never done that, at least from what Bok-gi and Yebeom have told him; even Jiho had pitched in with his own comments sometimes, knowing exactly how much it pissed him off, but he still did it. Every time he met Bok-gi or he met Yeseul, he would ask about her, waiting for them to respond with “oh, she’s doing okay, oppa” and “I met her a few weeks ago, she was fine, hyung” and they move on after that, but he can’t.

They don’t possibly expect him to move on from her, do they?

“All rise,” the bailiff announces, and he dutifully stands up, watching out of the corner of his eye as Sol gently helps the defendant to rise up alongside her, before being seated again. She still did that little thing when she looked around the entire courtroom for people watching her, he thinks to herself. She’s still the same Sol. No, she’s different now. We both are. We both are different, but there’s still things about her that remind me of the times we spent in Hankuk.

“Prosecutor Han,” the judge tells him, and he stands up quickly to his feet, “begin.”

“Thank you, Your Honour,” He says, walking out to the defendant’s bench, “defendant Je Sang-Hee, you were indicted on charges of attempted murder, following an attack on your fiancé, Seo Changmin, on the fourteenth of November, two weeks prior to your indictment.”

“Yes, I was,” she begins, “but I didn’t do anything to—”

“I’ll be the one asking questions here,” he cuts her off with a dismissive wave of his hand, and out of the corner of his eye, he can see Sol draw an almost-imperceptible breath, shaking her head at him. She isn’t flustered. He’s very sure she isn’t flustered, because the two of them have been on opposite sides of each other, time and time again, “could you confirm that Seo Changmin suffered injuries because of you?”

She stares at him, defiant, and replies, “he did not suffer injuries because of me, I found him and I called the police, I’ve told you this.”

“Yes, you have,” Joon walks to the front of the witness’ bench, “but your whereabouts were also unknown that night, until that fateful moment when you actually found your fiancé, and proceeded to assault him. Is that right?”

She looks at him, scowling. He’s hit a nerve, apparently. They had been harping on that aspect for far too long than what was necessary, Joon had noticed when he had been preparing. He couldn’t go that way when he questioned her, because he knows Sol has prepared for it.

So, he changes his track of questioning, “Ms Sang-Hee, would I be wrong in assuming that Mr Changmin had visited you five times over the three days prior to the accident?”

She stares at him, “he is my fiancé. Or he was, before the accident happened. It wasn’t unusual for him to visit me multiple times in a single day.”

He stops, “and yet, when the police asked you about the reason of his visits, you chose to remain silent, evading the question—”

“Objection,” Sol says calmly, standing up from her seat, “the prosecution cannot ask leading questions.”

“Sustained,” the judge replies smoothly, even before Joon-Hwi has a chance to respond, “Prosecutor Han, you cannot possibly expect me to accept this in the courthouse.”

He nods his head, slightly irritated, now that she has taken his advantage away, “moving on, Ms. Sang-Hee, when you found Seo Changmin unconscious, why did you not call for an ambulance? You waited ten minutes to call an ambulance, which most people would argue, looks strange, does it not?”

She doesn’t back down an inch. Good. He hadn’t thought she would either. They didn’t have enough evidence to show that she was guilty, her indictment based primarily on circumstantial evidence that even the most punishment-happy of all judges would find difficulty agreeing with. But they had had her indicted, and now they were here, trying to get her a sentence that would be as heavy as possible. Sol had been right. He didn’t have to worry about the defendant, not as a prosecutor. He just had to punish people to the full extent of the law.

“I tried to wake him up multiple times, but he didn’t respond,” Sang-Hee responds, staring at the judge, “I didn’t think it was out of the ordinary, since he had always had a drinking problem, but when he didn’t respond to me calling his name in the morning, that was when I grew worried.”

She looks at him once, then back to her lawyer, Sol, who looked as though she wanted to strangle him. good. This means I’m winning, and turns back to him, “it was like him to come back drunk, so drunk that he could barely remember where he was, and his friends would drop him off at my house, with apologies, but he would repeat his behaviour. I wasn’t too worried when he didn’t respond to my calls at night, but by morning, he would usually be awake and demanding breakfast. That was when I started to get anxious.”

“Anxious? Not worried?” he asks, curiosity spiked by her peculiar choice of words, “were you anxious that he was actually dead? Or were you anxious that your—”

“he’s my fiancé, of course I would be anxious if he was not responding to my calls,” Sang-Hee stares at him, “you must not have dated a lot if you think I wouldn’t have been worried about my fiancé.”

A wave of laughter runs through the court, and he can feel the tips of his ears turn red. Even the judge cracks a smile, and he can see both Bok-gi and Jiho sniggering. They’re never going to let me live this one down, “so, you called the police then, who found your fiancé almost dead from a drug overdose.”

“Yes,” she looks at her hands, fingers intertwined, “they told me he had taken it about four hours before I called them.”

Ah, there it is. He knew it would come to this, he had known there was no way to win this case after all, even if he really did want to win. There were things he couldn’t do after all, despite being what they called a ‘star prosecutor’. “No more questions.”

The smile on Sol’s face is enough to tell him that he’s lost this case. Oddly enough, he doesn’t feel disappointed, even as his partner shoots dirty looks at him, a clear violation of courtroom conduct, but he can’t bring himself to care, fixated on the way she looks while cross-examinating the defendant, the way she turns to the judge and says “no more questions, your Honour.” It’s a far cry from the Sol he remembers at law school, the one who would have him act as prosecutor whenever she went up in a mock trial, even if he had been assigned the role of prosecutor, going up against her. She always asked him to help her practise, and like the fool that he was, he always helped her. Even now, as he stands there, watching her, it’s almost as though he is back at Hankuk; almost, but not quite.

“Court adjourned for the day, and will convene for the next trial on—” Joon can feel himself growing more and more antsy, as the judge announces the date for the next trial, and that Sang-Hee can be released from Judicial custody, especially since her health had been failing due to the stress of the trial and asthma, from which she had suffered since she was young.

He hurries out of the courthouse, only to be cornered by Jiho and Bok-gi at the entrance, Bok-gi with a large grin on his face and Jiho with his trademark expressionless look, although he knows both of them were going to tease him about this, possibly till he died and perhaps even then, they would find a way to sneak it into his eulogy.

Strangely, he didn’t mind it at all.

“Hyung, where are you going?” Bok-gi asks, even as Joon desperately tries to catch a glimpse of Sol through the now-closing courtroom doors, “shouldn’t you be preparing for the next date?”

He looks at Bok-gi for a second, eyes widening, “what are you talking about?”

Bok-Gi’s smile gets wider, if that’s possible, “really? What were you thinking about, hyung? I was talking about the next court date.”

Joon-Hwi huffs, “I was thinking about the same thing, Min Bok-Gi; now, if you will—”

Jiho opens his mouth to say something, but Joon barrels past the two of them, running down the stone steps and to the driveway, where his car was parked, and, presumably, Sol’s too. She’s walking faster now, and he has to run to keep up with her. Her ponytail bobs as she takes quick steps, in a hurry to get away from the courthouse complex. He doesn’t blame her at all.

“Sunbae!” he calls out, loud enough to catch the attention of quite a few people, “Sunbae!”

That catches her attention all right, and she stops in her tracks, turning to him, an irritated expression on her face. It doesn’t stay for long, however, fading just as quickly as it came, “so, you’re still sticking with that name, Han Joon-Hwi?”

He grins, “of course. It wouldn’t be me and you, if I didn’t call you Sunbae, Sunbae.”

She stares at him, with an expression he can’t quite place. “I thought we didn’t have that sort of a relationship anymore, Prosecutor Han.”

And, there it is. He can’t deny it and say that it doesn’t hurt to be treated by Sol this way, but he’s nothing if not tenacious, so he pushes on, “you did good today, in there.”

She doesn’t say anything, simply nods her head, before replying with a curt, “good job today, Prosecutor Han.” Of course, she would say that; he doesn’t want to admit it, but it sort of feels like she had slapped him full across the face. Who am I kidding, if she had done that, it would have perhaps hurt less. He feels like a fool, standing in the middle of the road, calling out her name, and a years-old nickname that she didn’t like, and one that he felt only held significance for him.

What they had not had was closure; or at least for him, it was that, the absence of a final answer to his unasked question, something between them still hanging in the air. She could ignore it, live on with her life, but he cannot. There should have been closure, he’s told himself time and time again, or was I just too unimportant for her to even give a damn. It isn’t true, he knows, Sol wouldn’t do that to him, or to anyone else for that matter, but on some nights, it becomes impossible. He doesn’t blame her either; he blames his own self for the loss of his closest friend. If only he hadn’t been stubborn enough to ask her out on the day of graduation. He should have waited a little bit more.

But then, should he have waited?

“Sol!” he calls out again, jogging lightly to keep up with her steps, “Sol! Wait up for a minute—”

He’s interrupted, Sol turning abruptly to meet him halfway, which results in him having to backtrack, “what do you want now?”

He smiles brightly, “how about Pyongyang naengmyeon? I know a place nearby that’s good.”

She stares at him, like she can’t really figure out his deal. He holds up his hands, “look, all I’m asking for is a meal. No strings attached.”

Surprisingly, she nods once, turning on her heel, “lead the way, Prosecutor Han.”

I should not be doing this.

Her phone buzzes, and it’s Yeseul. You should not be doing this, the text reads, and Sol has to gather all her willpower to not scream in the middle of the street, I know, I fucking know, I shouldn’t be doing this with him right now, going for lunch when there’s—no, I just cannot do it.

She thinks it would be good, for her to have one lunch with him, to get him out of her system, Yeseul’s wisdom about not having lunch with someone who is technically her opponent in the court be damned. She just needs to have lunch with him once, and then she can stop feeling this way.

The restaurant is small, but bright light filters in through the large windows as they take a seat at one of the empty tables. There are a lot of them, she thinks, looking around, just after the lunchtime rush, or the restaurant wasn’t a very good one. Either way, she was supposed to be having a meal with Han Joon-Hwi right now, and as Sol takes a seat, she realises she had been vastly unprepared for this meeting.

He doesn’t look like the Joon she knew back in Hankuk, that is certain, but he doesn’t look like what her imagination had unhelpfully supplied her with either. He looks every inch the prosecutor, with dark circles underneath his eyes and that slouching posture she supposes every prosecutor has, as though he had been carrying the weight of the whole world. It’s sad, somehow.

“Are you going to order?”

“Hm?” She turns her gaze, and sure enough, he’s looking at her just like he had done all those years ago, when she had a stupid letter attached to her name like a real-life suffix that followed one around, and he used to lean over tables and grin all up in her face and mock her by saying Sunbae. It’s—uncomfortable. She didn’t think she would revert to her university self so easily, but with him, it feels like second nature, “You said Pyongyang naengmyeon, so we should get Pyongyang naengmyeon.”

“All right,” he teases, but it’s light, the kind of tone one would use with a co-worker, which strikes her as somehow offensive (am I not more important than a co-worker?) and she spots a glint of something else in his eyes, but shakes her head free of the thought, just as he says, “so, how is work?”

She rolls her eyes, “I don’t think you asked me to lunch after all these years just to talk to me about work, Han Joon-Hwi.”

He smiles, “right, I didn’t, two orders of beef bone soup, please.”

She stares at him, “it’s summer,” and turns back to the ahjumma, “two orders of Pyongyang naengmyeon, please.”

He just shakes his head, looking at her in that funny way, and asks, “so, do you remember, or do you not?”

What is he even asking me about? “No, I don’t,” she replies, pouring out water for the both of them, “what are you even talking about?”

He shakes his head at her again, “never mind. Let’s eat.”

She can’t help but feel as though she had just missed something important, at least by the look on his face. Or maybe that’s the naengmyeon talking.

#solhwi #solhwi fanfic #jtbc law school #han joon hwi #kang sol a

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