#I am a fully finished transman

[answersfromzestual]

So is the whole "phallo is EXTREMELY dangerous and riskier than heart surgery" shit untrue too..I really hope it is...

Oh yeah, it’s absolutely a crock of shit.

Listen, any time you go under general anesthesia is risky, and the longer you’re under, the more risks there are. So a surgery that takes 6-8 hours, no matter what it is, is going to be potentially dangerous.

But it’s important to know that a risk being present doesn’t make it LIKELY. You take at least as much risk driving to the grocery store as you would having phalloplasty—and if lightning strikes and something life-threatening DOES happen to you on the road, you’re not going to have an entire team of highly-trained, well-equipped medical personnel literally standing over you seeing to your wellbeing when it happens.

The single most important thing that gets considered when deciding if a patient needs surgery is whether the potential risks are outweighed by the benefits. I think the fact a 2020 study found that 59% of trans men were under the impression that bottom surgery is “too risky” but 97% of those who’ve had radial arm flap phalloplasty report full satisfaction with the results says a lot, don’t you? (Source)

[up-in-flames-writing]

I feel like we never talk about how hard it is to be a trans immigrant. We never talk about how escaping from a country that persecutes you does not free you from suffering & bigotry.

I may not be able to attend my own graduation ceremony. I worked so hard these past three years to achieve something, to be the first person in my immediate family to finish uni, get a degree, & then be able to actually do something with it, to pick my own life course & not stray from it. I reinvented myself during these last three years so much, from the shy, dysphoric kid with no friends to a man who maybe isn't doing the best in life, but who has a hope for the future. I worked hard to present myself in the best way I could, & yet I won't be able to see the fruits of my labours.

And, sure, the reason is real silly. I can't legally change my name, so the name on the degree will be my dead one, & the Vice Chancellor will read out the corpse of my old self in front of all my teachers & peers, everyone who knew me as Booker, & Booker alone. And they will expect to see a young lady in a dress climb the stage, only to be met with a boy who isn't quite a man yet, who is still forced to live under a girl's name.

And why? Why! Because I am an immigrant who feared for my young life when Brexit was happening, who has been teased & bullied for being an ESL student, who never quite belonged. Because I am an immigrant transman who could be imprisoned in my country of birth for the crime of wanting to reinvent myself, who has to walk on eggshells around the man who reared me because he grew up Polish & catholic & who knows how he would react if I told him I was his grandson & not his granddaughter. I am an immigrant who has to hide behind their parents because who knows how my extended family will react to me, who is still not allowed to tell his cousin, his little sister whom he adores, his real name despite the fact I was her age when I started questioning my own gender & I somehow wasn't too young to be in pain!

I am an immigrant who cannot safely return home, but the country that took me in isn't quite the safe haven either. Because I need a passport to prove that my name has changed, but a passport cannot be issued to me under a name my birth country does not approve of. Because to change myself fully, I need to become a citizen to a country that abandoned my homeland after the war & looked away when it was being subjugated during it. Because I need to know how many of the swans in London belong to the Crown for the state to consider me a citizen of this dying empire, despite the fact I've lived here for so long, I can't remember what my childhood home back in Poland even looked like! I cannot truly remember what my room in that flat in a small, backwater Polish town looked like anymore, except for the bed that we now have in our guest bedroom, & the bookshelf that cradles all of my books on transness & queerness & feminism.

Because I am an immigrant from a country who hates me, I am forced to live in a country that hardly tolerates me, & to live as my true self I have to subjugate myself for the sake of an old empire that lost its touch. I have to submit myself to a personal sort of colonisation, to be able to walk onto that stage at graduation with my real name on the degree. But I can't do that, because I don't have the money, because I spent the last three years breaking my back proving to people that the little girl with behavioural problems who was always bullied, was able to become something greater than the sum of her parts. Because I now don't have the time or the patience to tell you exactly when the Union Jack was created, or at what hour of the day is tea time, & I don't have the time to wait for a passport to be sent to me, only for me to return it to sender with a plea of changing my name upon it.

Because my transmacs friends in college had their names changed at sixteen, while I'm already done with my undergrad & still have to contend with the question of what citizenship I would rather have. Because I will sooner be on hormones & growing a beard than I will be able to change my name.

And in all this I find it so ironic that I was named after an angel, & like everything else in my life, I reject the goodness & the easy way out, I reject the things that once made me, me, to become my own god & rebuild myself out of the scraps left behind by a life of turmoil.

And still I am just some immigrant bitch stealing jobs from good, hardworking Britons, & I'm still just a transsexual fag taking women's rights away, & I'm still just some freak of nature manipulating the kids into sin & immorality. And no matter where I go, where I turn to, I don't feel all that angelic at all.

[mthrfckng-m1r4cl3s]

So I just finished watching this TedTalk called “the other side of the closet: a straight spouse speaks out”, i (sarcastically) thought ‘oh yeah id love to hear a straight persons opinion on their spouse being part of the lgbtq+ community’ in the back of my mind hoping that its about someone married to a transperson and being supportive. anyway i decided to watch it becuase i guess maybe I’m a masochist.

in short the tedtalkee grew up only wishing for a husband to live a white pickett fence life with “practice making babies with him” and have some children, she eventually achieves this though after theyve had kids she feels like something in their marriage isnt right and she sees some their bank statements that leads her to believe she is being cheated on. she confronts her husband and he says “id never cheat on you with another woman” so she sarcastically replies “well what are you then, gay or something?” he says “so all this time you knew?” she feels because of her christian faith she cant divorce him so she tries to change him by using scripture, and their kids against him.

the rest of the video shes talking about how she did this because without him she didnt know who she was and how lgbtq+ people coming out to their straight spouses is hurting them (the straights) and the lgbtq+ partner needs to be fully honest she also calls lgbtq+ spouses coming out “a betrayal”. theres a section of this video where she is giving advice to queer (she doesnt say queer) people about this situation. oh also she says that lgbtq+ people coming out to their spouse is taking the queer persons burden and putting it onto the straights shoulders and “walking away cause thats what it kinda feels like” and she spouts so much more bs but thats all i feel like copying down rn

my input as a gay transman

fuck off Emily Reese

if you don’t know who you are in a relationship its probably not healthy

lgbtq+ people don’t need anymore unsolicited advice involving being lgbtq+ from straight people

when a queer person lies to a straight about being queer it is almost never (if ever) done to hurt them it is typically because we are scared or feel unsafe about how you would react

straight people are not the victims of queer people coming out, queer people enter relationships with straight people because they want/need to hide their sexuality or they thought they were straight because of how society conditioned them into thinking that they are/only could be straight. so sorry if us being ourselves and breaking from a situation that originated from our opression (overall heteronormative-ness of p much everything) is ‘hurting you’ (sarcasm)

straight people stop acting like youre the fucking victim

sorry this is so long and riddled with mistakes n shit I’m tired and i got rlly pissed (still am tbh) but idk

[brokerdag-blog]

Introduction

Before I get into all of this, there are a few things you should know about me. My name is Brian, but I have decided to start branding myself as Kidd. I have always looked young and that is what I am almost always called. Being in a business where people trust you with the biggest financial decision they may ever make in their lives, real estate, brings a lot of things to one’s attention. I look too young to possibly know what I’m talking about. Can I really negotiate the best deal? Am I too naive? Is it even possible that I can even handle the big dogs in this industry? These are a few thoughts that might flash through the heads of clients I meet. As I write this, I am 23 years old. People are surprised to know I am actually about to obtain my brokers license (these are the folks agents go to for advice in a sticky situation). And they are surprised that when I open my mouth, confidence and knowledge flow like a raging river.

This would be boring if this were just about real estate though. I’m learning that the intense passion i have for real estate and helping others isn’t paralleled by many people. Real estate is boring. YAWN. Contracts. Negotiations. Sales. Selling your soul to the devil. You know. Normal stuff. Luckily, that isn’t all there is to me. I also have four wonderful cats; I love Christmas, long walks on the beach, New York City, binge watching shows like Orange is the New Black and Stranger Things, snow, destiny; I believe that the Universe can deliver almost anything you can possibly dream of, everything happens for a reason, and you always end up exactly when and where you’re meant to be; I am a conservative in most things but I also believe everyone has the right to be and love who they want; oh, and I am also a Transman.

I mentioned this last because it is not what defines me as a person. My experience on this earth as a man born in a female body has shaped everything I have come to know, but I wanted to be sure it wasn’t the only thing that makes me who I am. It is important to me to have an impact on the world both as a transman and as Kidd, that crazy guy who thinks he can just ship off to Manhattan with no money and no knowledge of the real estate market in that city. The crazy guy who went from thinking he would never live past the age of 16 to believing he can actually achieve his biggest dream: selling massive real estate in the best city on earth.

The last important pieces of this journey are my goals. Goals aren’t just important to me, they are important to everyone. These are the building blocks of achieving the best life you can possibly imagine to live. I don’t care if your dream is to be a janitor at the best high school in Chicago, or if you want to uncover the cure for cancer. Goals matter. These are mine:

Sometime Goals:

-Buy my parents a house.

-Live in a glorious apartment directly overlooking Central Park.

-Earn $1,000,000

-Earn $5,000,000

-Buy a house on the beach in the Hamptons.

-Never have to worry about money again.

5 Year Goals:

-Establish myself as an agent in Manhattan, making enough money to buy my first home in the city.

-Buy my first home in the city. This will start my passive income portfolio, since I will turn it into a rental when it’s time to buy my next place.

-Be completely finished with my physical transition, my surgeries should be done by this time. I can live fully and attack my other goals 100%.

-Meet the love of my life.

1 Year Goals:

-Pay off my crippling debt.

-pay off Uncle Sam.

-Complete the first stage of my final surgery.

-Help my parents sell their first house.

-Help 20 people sell and/or buy their home.

-Make sure I positively affect at least 1 person every day.

-Consistently wake up at 5am.

-Fix my sleeping problems.

-Break through my professional ceiling and make waves.

You can believe me or not believe me, that is your choice. However, when I really want something, and i take action, I get everything I set my mind on. Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.

This is my story.

-Dag