#I am a baby blog so I doubt it’ll work | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

notepadsandtealeaves · 3 years

Text

The Karasuno Boys || Love You Like I Do Former First Years Edition

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | series m.list | hq tag | other m.lists | main blog ||

|| Characters: K. Tsukishima | S. Hinata | T. Yamaguchi | T. Kageyama

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the ways these boys love on you?

↠ Inspired in part by @screamin-abt-haikyuu’s post. I wrote something for Best Boy and the rest of the third years only to find that I had a lot of feelings about everyone else too and so here we are lol…

↠ Requested By: Literally no one, I just woke up with an urge lol… ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW that’s full of fluffy affection ((but my blog’s 18+ so if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ Chronology: Post time skip ↠ CWs/TWs: Lots of self-doubt and self-deprecation in Tsukki’s section from the man himself. Also some v. mild angst due to ghosting, but it all works out in the end, I promise! ↠ There are also mentions of past bullying and the lingering effects thereof in Yams’ section. ↠ Other than that we’ve got Hinata being a crackhead (affectionate), Kags being Kags (also affectionate), and also Yams being a hella supportive cutie that’s legit willing to fite for you (super-ultra affectionate). Also Kei Tsukishima is his own gd warning (begrudgingly affectionate) lmao… ↠ Also no betas—we die like grammatically incorrect men here. ↠ Total WC: ~11.9k

Alternative title: Relationship Origin Stories, or Tangents are a Girl’s Best Friend.

Second verse, same as the first.

We got more character analyses, with me looking into how you would even end up with half of these boys because chile. They’re difficult little beans that do not make loving (or writing) them easy. Tsukki’s esp. got outta hand since (based on what I’ve seen of him so far) the type of man I see him growing into isn’t all that easy to get close to. ((But still—it’s ten words past the 4k mark, like?? !!! I really need to learn some chill))

As stated in my previous installment, I’m anime only—halfway through season 4 now tho frankly I am still absolutely shook over the fact that season 3 was based around a singular game, how in the actual fuck… Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that if anyone’s OOC or anything’s inaccurate/not in line with canon that’s why.

Kei Tsukishima will always make sure that you feel smart. || WC: 4k~

Last warning for that self-doubt/self-deprecation, as well as the ghosting-induced angst that I mentioned.

((Also, I have, no lie, written one shots shorter than this HC, smh…))

↠ Potentially unpopular opinion time: You cannot pay this man to be unkind to his s/o.

↠ Don’t bother with trying to change my mind because I do not accept criticism.

↠ He may give everyone else a lot of shit, but you’re his baby, his love, his whole damn world. He honestly views you as a part of himself, so to pull you down in any way would be to hurt his own heart.

↠ Tbh that’s how he knew he was down bad, when he couldn’t bring himself to get at you, even when you would do things that made him want to put his head through a wall lmao.

↠ ((…character analysis/relationship origin story time? Character analysis/relationship origin story time.))

↠ Okay, so he’s not really the type for instant attraction, love at first sight type deals.

Like yes, he can find you physically attractive from jump, but that’s all it’ll be because finding someone aesthetically pleasing is a far cry from wanting to cultivate a romantic relationship with them.

With Kei, he has to be drawn to you on all levels before he will ever consider something more than a friendship. And heck, even just being friends with this man can be hard given how selective, not to mention distant, he can be.

I really do believe that his prickly disposition largely stems from the insecurities that he still harbors even as an adult. He’s a far cry from the boy he was back when he was attending Karasuno, but shit like that doesn’t just disappear overnight, yanno?

He’s still coming into his own as a man, and the process has been… messy to say the least, especially when it comes to relationships of any sort. He still has a tendency to feel inadequate, not least of all because of his less-than-stellar interpersonal skills.

↠ He’s v. self-aware about the areas in which he’s lacking.

He knows that his tendency to arrogance and antagonistic behavior lacks mass appeal, but at this point he’s been like this for so long that he honestly isn’t even sure who or what he’d be if he exorcised those parts of himself completely. What’s more it’s his most effective defense mechanism.

After all, the only way anyone or anything can ever really hurt you is if you allow ‘em access to your heart.

And his heart is a truly tender thing, with layers upon layers of snark and feigned disinterest keeping it well out reach of anything that would mar it.

On the surface it seems as if he doesn’t care about much of anything when in actuality he has a tendency to care too much and he knows it; this is why he doesn’t allow himself to become too involved with people/things, and certainly not attached them.

By his estimation, having to navigate the internal hellscape that’s always left behind whenever he’s inevitably let down isn’t at all worth anything that may be gained. A cynical outlook to be sure, but no one’s ever accused him of being anything other than a realist.

((…that shit with his brother really left its mark, huh?))

↠ There are only a handful of people who he can call friend in truth; dude’s got more ‘associates’ than anything, and tbh he could do without like 90% of those.

What’s more, the people within this already minuscule number are winnowed even further if you’re talking about those he trusts completely.

This wall that he has erected around himself also serves as a test of sorts, though very few are ever able to pass it, if they can even be bothered to try.

Most don’t care to look beyond the persona that he projects, and he thinks that to be fair enough, all things considered. If the tables were turned he’d hardly think such a stubborn, snarky individual to be worth the effort either.

And yet he cannot help but to hope that there’s somebody out there who’ll actually want to make the climb and push pass all of his various (and somewhat vicious) layers of defense until they’re able to see him in truth.

Since he’s gotten older he’s taken steps to try to make the journey less perilous, but by his own reckoning, there isn’t much about him to recommend as a friend let alone a partner.

And even with all the effort he’s put into toning down the more antagonistic qualities of his personality over the years, he still knows that he can be more abrasive than what most find palpable, but dammit he’s trying—what more can be asked of him?

↠ While he’s far from being the worst person he knows, he’s well aware of the fact that he’s not everybody’s cup of tea. This leads to an annoyingly contradicting dichotomy within him, where he wants people to want him, but when they show any interest in getting to know him he’s instantly suspicious of their motivations.

The inferiority complex that he’s still yet to shake never fails to rear its ugly head whenever someone tries to get close to him. Perceiving himself as he does, he always ends up assuming that the person has an ulterior motive.

Do they want what little prestige he can provide? Or maybe they’re using him to get to one of his more popular (and far better liked) teammates/friends? Do they want a tutor or a carpool buddy or something equally annoying? It has to be something along those lines because he just cannot see himself as having any worth outside of what he can potentially provide.

↠ So when you come along with your soft smiles and genuine interest and open hands, and seamlessly make a place for yourself in his life, well…

I wouldn’t call him shook per say as he’s more confused than anything. Yeah, confused, but with like a mildly hostile edge lol. He—as well as the observing world at large—cannot figure out why you stick around him.

In the beginning he questions you about this a lot; that you constantly give him non-answers doesn’t help matters.

It’s not as if you’re trying to be annoying (well most of the time, anyway), but rather because you honestly cannot say what it was that drew you to the towering blond in the first place.

Maybe it was the way he seemed to be perpetually smirking, like he was in on a joke that you were not yet privy to.

Or maybe it was the confidence that he exuded as he moved throughout his day, shoulders back and pretty face at once impassive and slightly putout, as if pursuing higher education were a chore that was forced upon him.

Though rarely heard the husk of his laugh or the more often seen judge-y arch of his brow were also alluring in their own ways, and thusly good candidates.

But there was also the flash of something solemn and aching that you’d sometimes see buried within the gold of his eyes. There and gone in the span of a blink, it called out to some part of you that ached similarly, steadily drawing you into his orbit until you were a part of it, ever circling around him like a newly captured satellite and forever changing the landscape of his personal sky.

↠ There’s just something about Kei Tsukishima—something beautiful and special and wonderful—that just does it for you. If you’re prone to romance you might say your connection is kismet, but never having been one given to fatalism he doesn’t view it this way at all.

At first you’re just a person that he made the mistake of acknowledging once and now he can’t seem to get rid of you. What’s really wild tho is that after a while he doesn’t want to get rid of you.

Initially he lets you stick around out of an admittedly malicious curiosity. If you think you’re gonna get something from him—be that help, clout, or one of his friend’s numbers—then you’re in for a very rude awakening.

But ofc you never ask for anything like that. In fact the only thing you ever seem to want from him is him. Just his time and company, and nothing more.

↠ Even when he’s at his prickliest you stick around, giving him as good as you get and never hesitating to tell him when he’s gone too far.

Verbal sparring quickly becomes a hallmark of your acquaintanceship and honestly he finds it refreshing. It’s so nice to be able to go back and forth with someone without them taking offense to the least little thing.

((You really do have to have some thick skin if you’re gonna be friends with this guy, imo; even when he likes you he’s still a smart-mouthed little shit, that’s just the way he’s built.))

No matter how much time you’ve spent together up to this point he still refuses to call you anything more than an acquaintance because you haven’t earned a more substantial title–

Yet.

He can definitely feel it looming on the horizon like some great and inescapable inevitability. Naturally he bucks against this, but with every day that passes and you’re still there he just… starts to accept it with a wary sort of resignation lmao. (Like boy. Just let someone care about you, ffs…)

↠ But even with all of your persistence and consistence of personality, and how well you get on because of it, he’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He’s totally convinced that you’re just biding your time, but if you want to play the long game that’s more than fine by him. Tearing you down will be all the sweeter the closer you think you are to your ultimate goal.

He could, and probably should, be doing something better with his time, but the part of him that enjoys riling people up won’t allow for him to bow out of this silent battle. It’s a level of petty that he hasn’t engaged in in a long while (and one that he wishes he was beyond, honestly) but it’s also the only reasonable explanation.

Yeah, that has to be it because the alternative is him actually enjoying your company (the horror *rolls eyes hard*).

And Kei Tsukishima does not enjoy people’s company, he endures it–

–and yet you’re not proving to be nearly the burden you should.

↠ I picture Tsukki to be a very inward looking person, so the minute he actually acknowledges that there’s some sort of feelings there he takes the time to sit down and examines them.

He goes into things hoping—praying—that at most he’ll come out with a new friend and not a gd crush, but… lmfao.

Cue silent panicking because wtf, he did not ask for this and he cannot return it because he lost the goddamn receipt.

↠ Ngl, he ends up ghosting you hardcore in an attempt to purge you from his system. It’s a total communications blackout and a nearly perfect physical one too.

If you got classes together he’ll purposefully slip in at the last minute and take a seat as far away from you as possible, only to be the first one out the door when the professor dismisses you (and with those long ass legs of his ain’t no way you’re catching up lol).

He’ll completely tear his whole schedule apart just to stay away from you, and if it’s unavoidable he’ll just straight out ignore you.

It’s like you’re less than air to him, and if not for the annoyed (and mildly terrified) look he deigns to toss your way whenever you approach him you’ll actually think you’re invisible to him.

This goes on for the better part of a week before you finally give up on things altogether. He clearly doesn’t want you around, he won’t even so much as grunt in your general direction, let alone tell you what’s wrong, so as far as you can tell there’s no way to fix things.

His complete rejection cuts straight into the heart of you, but there’s nothing for it, it seems.

↠Ofc he notices your absence immediately—and how could he not, when the brightest object in his sky suddenly blinks out of existence?—but the relief he thought he’d feel is just as absent.

His feelings for you are scary and gangly and hard to manage, oftentimes leaving him mentally fatigued if he thinks on them too long (and he’s literally always thinking about them—about you), but not having you near hollows him out in a way that he never thought possible.

He soon realizes that the echoing ache that comes with the distinct lack of you in his day-to-day is a pain that he cannot bear indefinitely, but thanks to his actions he very well may have to.

But that’s just the cynic in him talking, he’s sure. You’re not so unforgiving of a person that you wouldn’t grant him a second chance, should he prove worthy of one, but… He’s never been great with these kinds of situations.

He wishes he could say that he doesn’t know what to do, but that’d be a boldfaced lie. He knows that he needs to apologize for being such a dick, to grovel at your feet and lay the whole of his heart bear and hope that even if you don’t return his feelings that you’ll at least understand them—understand him—and allow him a second chance at being a part of your life.

He doesn’t even care in what capacity you want him there, he just knows that he’s not whole when you’re not near.

↠ Unfortunately for him these revelations do little for him on their own.

Cue Hell Week 2: The Electric Boogaloo.

This poor, emotionally repressed boy is totally beside himself. Apologies aren’t really something he does as he’s always been more of the ‘acts of service’ type when it comes to such matters. He much prefers to gift the wronged party something that shows he’s sorry so that he doesn’t have to actually say it.

He’s not overly fond of admitting when he’s fucked up, but he knows that you deserve at least that much after the shit he pulled.

But at the same time he doesn’t know how to approach you, doesn’t even know if you want to hear what he has to say. You’ve dropped him just as completely as he’d done to you, and it makes him ache all the more to know that the inadequacy and pain that’s rolling around in chest and gut both has to be similar to what he made you feel back at the start of all of this—tho he’s sure that it was worse for you since you didn’t know why he’d done it–

And gdi he’s really fucked up, hasn’t he? Majorly so…

↠ About three days into this mess you start to notice the wear-and-tear, but much like him you don’t know if he’ll accept any sort of offerings of help.

But by the fifth day, when he’s looking so worn and broken with his dark circles and weary slouch and sad, sad eyes that makes you ache to see, you decide that you don’t really care.

You were friends once, would still be if you had your way, so you have to at least try. If he rejects you this time you vow to leave things along once and for all, but if not…

Thing’s will never be the way there were before, but if there’s even the slightest chance that you can make things better then you’re definitely gonna take it.

↠ You end up swinging by his place that night, and though he’s clearly surprised to see you he doesn’t hesitate to let you in. Taking a page from his book, you don’t bother with pleasantries, choosing instead to get right into things.

The conversation that follows is… messy to say the absolute least.

Lots of feelings, lots of angry outbursts because on his part he doesn’t know what to do with said feelings while you’re also still hurting as well, but eventually everything is dragged out into the open.

When you finally find out why he acted the way that he did you honestly want to slap him upside the head—probably would if he didn’t look like death warmed over at the moment.

A crush is not a valid reason to ghost someone like that, except it kinda is now that you better understand how he ticks.

He still isn’t sure if he can sustain a relationship with you at this point, but he would at least like to be a better friend to you, if you’re willing to give him a second chance, which you are.

↠ If you didn’t have romantic feelings for him before, you certainly will once he gets done lol. Dude starts unconsciously courting you, and it’s just so sweet?

He’s always got a drink waiting for you before your earliest class/shift/whatever it is that gets you up at such ungodly hours (which is hella weird since you know for a fact that he doesn’t have to be up for at least another hour himself), is always the first to offer you his jacket whenever you look the least bit cold, and he makes an effort to walk with you whenever he can (which is more often than his schedule really should allow for).

He texts you more, invites you to hang out whenever you’re both free, and is way nicer than you remember him being.

When you used to have your little back and forths before The Ghost-ening (he really hates when you call it that, but it’s also accurate so he doesn’t really think he has the right to ask you to stop lol) there was always a possibility of him going too far in the wrong direction, but now he seems to be taking special care to avoid prodding at any sensitive topics.

And when he feels the need to reprimand you he’s far more understanding than he would otherwise be.

Ofc none of this is to say that he doesn’t still get at you because, well, it’s Tsukki, but where his words always used to have a slight edge to them before, now they’re more teasing than anything—one could even call it flirty.

It’s a big departure from his usual M.O., but you can’t say you’re opposed.

↠ The pair of you are basically dating without dating for months, and when you jokingly point this out to him he just kinda shrugs and says that you should probably go ahead and make it official. He doesn’t like the way the barista at your usual haunt keeps eyeing you anyway.

You’re actually at said café on this fateful day, and the barista in question just so happens to be working which is really fortunate–

For Kei, that is.

He makes direct, piercing eye contact with this poor, unfortunate soul as he stakes his claim with kisses pressed from your palm to your wrist, flashing them his signature smirk-n-brow quirk combo when he finally pulls away.

The whole scene leaves you rolling your eyes even as you feel your skin heating from how flustered the sudden display of affection has left you.

He’s so petty, and when you tell him as much he doesn’t even try to deny it because “–you kinda love me for it, yeah?”

↠ ((Annnnnd—end scene lmao))

↠ Despite what his demeanor would lead one to think, the boy’s ‘bout as whipped as a meringue. What’s more he’s low-key proud of it.

And why shouldn’t he be? He’s got an amazing partner and you in turn have him—you’ve both scored big, and the haters can die jealous lol.

Besides, you’re just as wrapped around his finger as he is yours, so it’s not as if loving you has left him at a deficit; if anything you’ve improved both him and his life in ways that he didn’t even know he needed.

↠ God help anyone who has anything to say about your relationship, his resulting drastic shift in personality (that’s you-specific, naturally), or oh dear lord—you.

Generally prying/teasing comments will garner one of his usual cuttingly snarky replies, but if they bring you specifically into the mix…

He’s p. sure that you can’t actually murder someone with your words, but there’s a first time for everything and he’s certainly not above trying lmao.

But this is all only tangentially related so let’s move on. ((she says as if the last 3.4k+ words weren’t a big ass digression))

↠ When he’s dealing with you he transforms all of the insults that he would usually dole out into compliments. But this isn’t to say that he’s the type to praise you endlessly like Sho or Noya; he’s more like Kags in that he just states things as facts.

You’d be wise to never voice that particular observation tho—him being like Kageyama, that is—unless you like dealing with nearly 6 and a half feet of pouty blocker.

He’s not nearly so lanky as he was back in high school, and he’ll use the whole of his new bulk to squish you into an apology lmao.

But he is like his former teammate, at least in this small way, and he needs to accept it. Like Kags he’ll just say things in a tone that brokers no argument, and if you didn’t believe it before you certainly will once he’s done with you.

And he’s a persistent fucker too, so if you insist on being stubborn he’ll go heads up with your insecurities and self-doubt until you finally see yourself the way he does—the way you always should have.

He’s got first-hand experience with lacking confidence, and he never wants to see his love hurting in any capacity, but especially that soul sucking way that low self-esteem has about itself.

↠ One of the things he’s esp. big on is making sure that you know just how smart you really are.

Intelligence comes in many forms, but sadly only the academic variant seems to get any consistent recognition and praise.

Yes, it’s v. cool and useful to be classically smart, and he most certainly adores you if you are, but he also appreciates the mastery of skills, hobbies, etc.

It doesn’t matter if you’re the second coming of Einstein, a literal pogchamp, or can speak flower fluently—he’s gonna make sure that you and the world as a whole know how adept you are.

That said he’s not really the type to brag on you to per se as he prefers to let your accomplishments speak for themselves majority of the time. Like he’ll make mention of it then leave others to fawn over you as well they should.

Still, if he thinks you’re not getting your due, or worst yet—someone’s trying to take credit for you hard work—he’ll rectify that ish with the quickness.

“Really? That was your doing? Hm. You hardly seem capable of such a thing, to be completely honest. My sweetheart, on the other hand, could accomplish that easily. Already has, actually. In fact this feat that you’re trying to take credit for—yeah, that was all them. It’s pretty sad, if you ask me, leeching off of other people’s hard work like that, but I suppose that somebody as sorry as you would never get any recognition otherwise.”

↠ All said with that little smirk that leaves the masses wanting to pop him one (not that they’d ever be foolish enough to try because look at him—stature aside, you know how dead his eyes can get lol—and you wanting to kiss him stupid. I swear, it really isn’t fair how well he wears the whole ‘cocky bastard’ look 😩

↠ Tsukki’s love… it just is. Like the air that flows through your lungs or the sun that warms your skin, it’s something so intrinsic to your life that once you’ve got it, you’ll never be able to imagine living without it.

Shoyo Hinata will always make sure that you feel motivated. || WC: ~2.4k

↠ Shoyo Hinata certainly lives up to his name because baby boy is actual human sunshine.

↠ …he’s also an unwitting agent for chaos, but we love him in spite of—or maybe even because of—it.

↠ But for all of his energy and occasional dumbassery, he’s quite observant, a thing that serves him well in many facets of his life.

He picks up the smallest details about a person and stores them away.

Everything from habits, likes and dislikes, hopes and fears, and all other manner of sundry—he just hordes these details away like a fucking secret squirrel.

And the weirdest part is that he doesn’t even know that he’s doing it, it’s all subconscious.

It can be a little… disconcerting to say the least.

Luckily for us all he uses his powers for good, always choosing to uplift others whether he actually knows them or not.

Even when he’s scolding people it still ends up being inspirational.

↠ And speaking of his habit of talking to random people because he apparently never grasped the concept of ‘stranger danger’–

↠ Dude’s a social butterfly, making friends with folk whether they want it or not, and more importantly maintaining said friendships.

I mean anyone who can count people like Kenma Kozume and Tobio Kageyama as close friends for as long as Hinata has really must be dedicated to the cause is all I’m saying lmao.

He takes every one of his relationships, be them platonic or romantic, v. seriously, always making sure to do his best by all parties involved.

Honestly that’s the reason the two of you have lasted this long.

↠ People always talk about Kageyama and his one-track mind for all things volleyball like Shoyo Hinata’s not right there with him.

This is the absolute mad lad that low-key abandoned his team in favor of infiltrating a training program that he was not invited to, all with the sole purpose of improving and widening his skill set.

And he cannot even say that he did this without a second thought because this little shit actually sat down and weighed the costs, albeit v. briefly, and ended up following a line of reasoning made no logical sense, imo, but… this is Hinata so that’s about par the course.

Aside from volleyball-related strategizing, he’s always been more of a ‘shoot first, ask questions later—maybe’ type.

↠ He throws himself headlong into things more often than not, and while it can seem like a rather reckless trait—because, well, in many cases it is—it’s also very admirable in a way, I think.

He’s not afraid of risk or failure, seeing both as things to be conquered; he doesn’t let anything keep him down for long, is always willing to dust himself off and go at things again and again and again until he finally finds a way through.

He also isn’t one to wait for life to happen for him. If there are no opportunities readily available to him he makes his own—thus him following Tsukki over to Shiratorizawa lmao.

He basically said “Fuck it, Imma do the thing”, because he believed that the potential reward was worth the risk, fallout and consequences be damned.

And that’s saying nothing of the fact that he would’ve followed Kags to the All-Japan YTC if he didn’t have to worry about potentially being arrested.

↠ Dude’s got the biggest himbo/crackhead energy and he’s not afraid to use it to further his goals—that’s it, that’s what I’m trying to establish here.

That dogged determination to always be the best is a double edge sword, but he’s learned to wield it with a deft precision over the years.

It’s one of the things that drew you to him, actually (because lbr, he wears ‘feral and driven’ damn well), and in the time since it has become an essential part of your relationship.

He loves the game, and no doubt about it, but he’s in love with you, so if he gives a hundred percent to volleyball then he can only ever do the same, if not better—always better—by you.

↠ He’s a natural hypeman who has a particular love for making his boo feel like they’re perpetually on top of the gd world, so he’s p. much gassing you up 24/7, and yet somehow it never feels fake or forced?

It’s such a big part of who he is as a person as well as your relationship’s dynamic that, I dunno—it just works.

Add to that his natural cataloging of people and it’s no surprise that he’s always the first person to know when your mood’s starting to deteriorate.

Even the smallest, most inconsequential change in your usual behavior will raise his antenna, which will in turn activate his ‘Cheer My Baby Up!!’ protocols lol.

Ofc he understands that some days you’re just not with it, and that’s okay! Not every day can be a great day, unfortunately, but dammit if he won’t try to make each one as good as possible for you both.

This usually comes in the form of him doing little things for you to make things easier, and lots of reminders of how much he adores, admires, and respects you.

Still, sometimes compliments and encouragement just don’t hit the way they should, this he knows. Sometimes life just takes it out of you, dulling the sparks in your eyes to mere glimmers that can barely be seen.

Whenever he notices that happening his reaction’s immediate, and a little… over the top, lbr.

↠ Inspiration’s flame going out? Oh his watch?? Oh hell to the no, we don’t do that here.

So congratulations, you now have your own personal cheerleader/motivational speaker lmao. Not that he wasn’t already filling those roles before, mind you, but now he’s going at it ten times as hard.

Idk how he does it, but he always manages to say the right thing at the right time. Stuff that would no doubt feel hella corny and-or disingenuous coming from someone else always sound perfect when it falls from his smiling lips.

And he’s always so sincere with it too. Like you know it’s not just empty flattery and fluff—he really does think you’re more than capable of accomplishing your tasks and reaching your goals, and if you want and-or need it, he’s definitely more than willing to help you every step of the way.

V. much the type to sit down with you and make a game plan if you’re feeling lost. As I said before, he’s generally more of a doer than a thinker, but as he’s gotten older he’s learned the value of at least having a general outline of what needs doing.

This is definitely something he learned from Suga, btw. In fact he’s picked up more than a few of the former VC’s more responsible habits…

…and some of his more questionable ones too (second coming of the memelord, gods help them all).

Grant it, if left to his own devices said plans will look like an actual game plan more befitting a locker room huddle, and that’s if you’re lucky. If you’re not think the Underpants Gnomes business model lol.

But! That’s why you’re here, yeah? I’m sure that between the two of you you’ll be able to come up with something a bit more comprehensive, and if not… Well you tried and therefore no one should criticize you.

↠ But if it’s just good ol’ fashion verbal motivation that you need then he’s most certainly got you!

He’ll remind you of how amazing/talented/brilliant you are at every turn, even going so far as to have a queue of encouraging texts scheduled and at the ready if he can’t be there to say it all to you in person for whatever reason.

((Such a good, precious baby, omg… ;n;))

↠ He has definitely recorded videos of him literally cheering you on.

In one such video he maaay or may not have been wearing an actual cheerleader uniform, complete with a cute lil pleated skirt that did an amazing job of highlighting how ridiculously shapely his legs are. He would’ve gone with the male variant, but that was all they had at the store, so yeah lmao.

((I very much believe that dude’s more than secure enough in his everything to rock a skirt if he so chooses, but anyway…))

He also maaay or may not have roped the other MSBY guys into his shenanigans as well—not that Bo or Tsumu really needed much convincing tbh lol. It’s any reason to make a scene with those two, plus neither of them were willing to concede the title of Best Legs* without a fight, so they definitely donned the uniform as well, and lucky you, you get to help judge them later.

…that was sarcasm, they’re all sensitive wittle cwybabies, it was nearly 30 solid minutes of hell lmao. God, they’re so embarrassing (affectionate).

Barnes, Thomas, and Inunaki didn’t put on the whole getup, but they did wave pom-poms as they said a few kind words. Meian gave you a thumbs-up and an enthusiastic “I know you can do it!”, and Sakusa…

Well when the camera panned to him he just stared blankly for a beat before telling you to “Do better.” To this day you still aren’t sure if it was meant to be his brand of encouragement or if he was telling you to pick a better partner lmfao…

↠ But if words and vids just aren’t cutting it Shoyo isn’t above bribing you after a fashion.

Food and other various gifts can and will be provided upon completion of your task and not a moment sooner.

He maybe soft for you, but he doesn’t think that he could say with any truth that he loves you if he facilitates your slacking, so don’t expect him to bend on this.

And if that doesn’t work he’ll propose a little bet. Given his drive to win, everything and always, he sees these as being the ultimate of motivators, and with prizes like impromptu date nights, massages, and the like he’s not wrong.

Ofc these are all things that you get as often as your schedules will allow for, but still—it’s nice to have a light at the end of the tunnel, yanno?

↠ Regardless of what finally motivates you, he’s gonna give you the biggest, tightest hug ever once you’re done.

“See honey? You made it through just like I knew you would! I’m so proud of you!!”

↠ Said between a flurry of kisses being peppered over the whole of your face and neck.

↠ He’s gonna drown you in his affections, anchoring you in the tempest that his adoration with the weight of his love.

↠ And Sho’s love—well, it’s certainly a lot, but it’s never too much.

|| Bonus: *Concerning the title of Best Legs

↠ Kay, so, initially the three of them are content with just having their partners judge the impromptu contest, but someone (probably, no definitely Sakusa) makes a comment about how that won’t work.

At best it’ll end up as a draw, at worst an argument if someone’s s/o decides to vote for anyone but their man.

They all go full surprised Pikachu before realizing that that makes a lot of sense, actually.

Tho Sakusa had been hoping that’d be the end of things he was sadly mistaken, and when he looks back on it he’ll realize that what follows is p. much his fault. Like at least 70% his doing.

↠ They need more judges, and their teammates are right there.

Aside from their partners (and the people who run and-or follow those weirdly specific stan accounts), who else has really seen their legs up close? Who else knows what they’re capable of? Really, it’s only natural that the other guys get in on this.

Said teammates are too used to their particular brand of foolishness to be anything but amused, so they go along with it with little fuss.

What’s more they take their commission seriously as anything less will end with them being there far longer than what anyone would want lol.

↠ And so, with the judges’ panel now fully staffed, the boys get to work.

Tsumu already has the perfect catwalk playlist complied on Spotify, and literally nobody is surprised by this.

Cue them all strutting their stuff to the bass boosted beats. And they can’t just walk and pose like normal because that would be too much like right.

There are high kicks, bad attempts at twerking because why tf not, and a display of flexibility from Bokuto that leaves you questioning everything you thought you knew about human anatomy.

At one point they all form a can-can line and Sho almost hyper extends his leg when he tries to kick as high as his taller teammates.

There would be so much blackmail footage if these idiots had the least bit of shame, but ofc they don’t, so…

↠ There’s also a fair bit of arguing, naturally.

It starts off good-natured enough, but towards the end they legit start to get heated and that’s when the captain (who honestly should be getting hazard pay or at least overtime for this) calls for the vote.

With 13 people in total (because they really wanted to vote for themselves, ig) a tie shouldn’t be possible, but Sakusa recuses himself from this bit of foolishness fairly early on (way to cause a problem and then take away the solution there buddy lmfao).

This leaves poor Meian to be the deciding vote. Not wanting to deal with a pair of pouting idiots, he decides to make things even by voting for Atsumu (who’s beyond scandalized that he doesn’t have a sweeping victory; mans really thought that you and Bo’s s/o were gonna vote for him from the very start lmaooo).

P. much everyone knows why he does it, tho Tsumu will never admit to getting a pity vote, and god help anyone who ever mentions it—which is all of them at every given opportunity because literally none of them are scared of him lmao.

↠ What they don’t know, however, is that the good captain is positive that he has the best legs and ass out of the whole of the team and honestly? He ain’t wrong, lol…

Tadashi Yamaguchi will always make sure that you feel heard. || WC: 2.7k~

One last CW for talks of childhood bullying and the effects there of. It’s a common theme throughout the whole of the HC, but the bulk of it will be marked with a ‼ (2 in total) if you would rather skip it.

↠ To be perfectly honest, Tadashi’s one of those characters that I didn’t really think about all that much until this HC forced me to, and ya know what? I actually kinda like him a lot!

He’s just such a good lil bean—well when he isn’t being a little co-signing shit, anyways.

Suffice it to say I have a lot of Thoughts™ about the state of his and Tsukki’s relationship. Big, blonde meanie is corrupting my child with his snark lmao.

That, ofc, is overstatement. Tadashi is his own person, this I know, but it must be said that their dynamic isn’t always the healthiest; I don’t really fault either of them for that tho.

They’re both still young at the start of things, and they’ve each got their share of issues and are just looking to make it through.

As they get older and grow, both emotionally and mentally, I like to think that things stabilize into something more sustainable/healthy. It’s already started happening in-show actually.

I really think that little confrontation they had during the Tokyo Expedition Arc was a big turning point for them as individuals as well as friends, but that’s a HC for another day.

↠ All that said, his tendency to be follower really is his worst/most self-stifling trait.

I have to assume that since he goes on to be captain during his third year that he comes into his own after a fashion—in fact I’m already seeing shades of change in him on the show, and I’m living for it—but for a long time he relied on others to buoy him.

Again, nothing necessarily wrong with that when it’s done from time to time, but in his case it was far too great a factor in his life for some years there.

I think this is the real reason Tsukishima is always telling him to stop bragging on him. Aside from the fact that it probably does occasionally genuinely annoy/fluster him, he truly cares about his friend and wants him to not only recognize his own accomplishments, but to take pride in them.

But really that’s hard to do when people have been intent on beating you down (both figuratively and literally) from your youngest years.

‼ We all know how cruel and cunning kids can be. Bullies are always able to find the weakest link, and a sweet thing like Tadashi would’ve made for a prime target.

God only knows how long they were getting at him before Tsukki came along, but honestly the bulk of the damage had already been done by then.

All that ‘sticks and stones’ ish is pure and utter fuckery. Words do hurt, badly, especially when they’re aimed at the same tender spots time and again.

And while it’s easy to throw around even more empty platitudes about time’s effect on wounds, in reality that’s just more filler—a nicer way of telling a person to get over it ASAP so that the rest of the world doesn’t have to be inconvenienced by said person’s unprocessed trauma.

‼ Though it does in fact have the capacity to heal, the ever advancing force that is time can just as easily be a destructive one.

If things are left unchecked it’ll run roughshod over past hurts, allowing the poison left behind to spread throughout a person’s system and fester.

I believe that this is what happened with Tadashi. He internalized a lot of what was said about him and it settled heavy in his psyche, growing and metastasizing until there wasn’t much room left for things like self-confidence.

↠ But despite how helpless and useless he so often felt, there was a little flame in him that refused to be snuffed out completely.

I truly believe that being around Kei, aka someone who gives off such a strong ‘never had a fuck to give in the first place’ vibe helped to fan said flame. It certainly thickened his skin if nothing else, maybe even put a bit of steel in his spine.

After a while he was able to shrug off most people’s barbs, which isn’t to say that shit didn’t hurt, but at least he wasn’t holding it as close to his heart as before.

↠ But even without Tsukki’s influence he’d always been so much stronger than he ever knew. Even with as down as he would get on himself, he never gave up the fight completely.

Finally having someone at his back/by his side gave him the time and room he needed to find his footing, and once he did that persistent little flicker that he’d been harboring turned into something more substantial.

He stopped being content with being a spectator of his own damn life and stepped into the role of MC. He was still a timid little thing, sure, but he was determined to be more than what everyone said he was.

That’s what drove him to join his middle school’s VBC, and the rest is history as they say.

↠ He certainly seems to become a bit of a go-getter as the years go by.

Dude actually shows a surprising amount of initiative (i.e. his going to Shimada to learn how to float serve, giving Tsukki the business during the training camp, becoming captain, etc.) all things considered, and his determination is more than admirable.

He knows he may not be the most gifted member of the team, but he doesn’t let that stop him from wanting to stand out and do his own thing. He’s always doing his best and giving it his all, and that’s just so *chef’s kiss* Great, awesome, excellent, we love to see it, truly.

I can definitely see that determination as being a major draw for his partner as all that passion and drive is kinda very much so hot, yeah? Especially when put up against his usual sweet and cheery persona, like… That contrast is everything, tbh.

((There’s just something about Soft Boys™ getting that slightly feral gleam in their eye as they come all the way outta pocket and go in hard—stop it, for once I don’t mean it like that ya heathens lmao—that just makes my brain short-circuit))

↠ The confidence that he has now as a young man is a hard earned thing, and it grows a bit more every day. And, much like him, it’s rather gentle in nature. He doesn’t feel the need to be brash or arrogant with it, he’s too grounded in himself for that.

That self-assurance translates over into your relationship as well. Despite what some may think, I don’t see him as being an insecure or jealous partner.

He’s not one for rushing into romantic relationships, so if you’re together the level of trust and respect is too high for that type of foolishness.

↠ That said, he’s not one to shy away from the limelight either.

You can see this at several points throughout S4 especially, with his constantly mentioning how he’d love to be interviewed/hoping that it’ll happen.

There used to be a time when massive amounts of attention would stress him out since it was hardly ever good attention, but once that balance starts to shift he actually finds that he doesn’t mind being a focal point—in fact he kinda likes it.

Admittedly it’s still a bit nerve-wracking, but at the same time he enjoys the rush, if that makes sense? It’s the same feeling he gets when he’s up to serve, that spike of endorphin-laced adrenaline that shoots through him at the whistle’s shrill cry.

And in the same way that he centers himself when he’s on the court, he finds his cool and does his thing when it’s time to speak. It certainly is something to see, esp. given how damn personable he naturally is.

He knows what it’s like to be made to feel awkward in your own skin so he always makes sure to put those around him at ease as best he can.

↠ ((…ya know, I always say that I don’t have a type but it seems as if I do, personality-wise anyways. Asahi, Daichi, Suga, and Tadashi all kinda have the same vibe when it comes to making sure that people feel comfortable, even if they go about facilitating that in different ways. But this is way off topic so let’s move on!))

↠ The man that he is now is leagues away from the timid boy that he once was. It has taken him so long to get to the point where he feels as if his voice actually has weight, and now that he’s arrived he’ll be damned if he allows anyone to take it away from him again in any capacity.

But even with as much as he’s grown he still remembers what it feels like to have your voice go ignored.

For so long nobody ever took him seriously, but then Tsukki came along and while their relationship certainly provided him with certain advantages, being heard wasn’t necessarily one of them.

Now this isn’t to say that it was his friend was purposefully stifling his voice, quite the opposite actually. Kei would often push him to stand up for himself, only stepping in when he saw that the other boy either wouldn’t, or the bullies weren’t taking the hint—both things that were far too common for far too long.

This eventually led to people hearing Tadashi after a fashion, but only because they were afraid of Tsukki’s not-so-silent wrath.

That’s demoralizing af, so it’s no surprise that after a while he got fed up and began to push back.

↠ As he’s gotten older he’s made sure that his voice carries its own weight.

He strives to be respected on his own merits, and wonder of wonders it’s actually happening!

He’s still low-key surprised, but really he shouldn’t be. All that drive and passion that I talked about earlier really shines through, garnering a certain level of respect and even admiration amongst his peers as well as outsiders.

↠ He’s more than willing to fight for you voice just as hard as he fought for his own—harder even, given the fact that he knows full well how difficult finding it can be.

The process he went through was a bit more brute force than what he would’ve liked which is why he makes double sure to be a lot more gentle with you.

Tadashi’s very big on encouragement. He’s always prompting you to speak up (figuratively as well as and literally if you’re a low talker like me lol) and speak out.

He’ll never allow for anyone—your cute little self included—to make you feel as if your voice lacks worth in any capacity, so expect heaps of verbal reassurance. He’s always telling you how much he loves hearing whatever it is you have to say, and always ready to hear more.

In that same vein he’s an excellent listener.

It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about something as heavy as your political beliefs or something as minor as why you prefer one brand of hand soap over another—your views and opinions will always be of great importance to him and he’s gonna make sure that you know it.

↠ I know I literally just said it in the last point, but Imma say it one more time for the people in the back: Tadashi Yamaguchi is the World’s Best Listener!

He will let you go on indefinitely about any topic, actively listening all the while. You won’t just get a bunch of filler words and noncommittal noises from this man, no sir; he asks questions, makes comments, adds on to what you say…

He will literally have whole ass conversations with you about the most random and-or mundane things that last for hours—like there are nights where y’all have legit talked until sunup and honestly would’ve kept going if your bodies allowed for it.

And if chatting the night away with your lover isn’t one of the best feelings in the world idk wft is.

And your rambling never bothers him, btw. Like never ever. It doesn’t matter what it is you’ve hyper-fixated on, he genuinely enjoys listening to you talk about literally anything and everything at any and all times.

↠ But there’s more to the process of finding one’s voice than just having those closest to you listening. There’s a whole wide world out there and Tadashi is gonna make sure that everyone in it hears what you have to say.

That said he absolutely will not stand for someone speaking over you. That shit pisses him off so bad because:

1. The audacity.

And 2. How dare you disregard his lovely partner like that??

Will legit be ready to throw hands, but that poise that I talked about before (as well as the fact that baby boy knows he’s not much of a fighter lol) will see him instead interrupting the offender with just as little regard as they’d shown you.

He can do nasty-nice real well, so he’ll make a comment about how they clearly must not have heard you speaking because they’d never be so rude as to speak over you otherwise, right?

He’ll give them a pointed look then as he waits for an apology—which if the person has any sense of decorum about themselves they’ll definitely give whether they actually want to or not—before turning his attention back to you with one of those heart-stopping smiles as he encourages you to continue.

↠ Things follow along the same line if someone tries to take credit for your idea/joke/etc.

Dude’s spent way too much time around Tsukishima because his response is almost identical to the blond’s, sass and all lmao.

He knows he should probably be more worried about potentially getting his ass beat, but this level of disrespect warrants him coming a bit more out of pocket, he thinks.

Luckily most people aren’t willing to risk jail time for bring fists to an argument, so he’s not been laid out yet, but if looks could kill he’d be donion rings lmao.

Or maybe not given the fact that he’s survived Daichi’s patented Look™, as well as glares from the likes of Kageyama and Tsukki.

↠ But back to you.

↠ If you’re more on the meek and mild side and have a hard time speaking up in front of others, he’ll still (gently) encourage you to try more often than not.

He knows how scary that can be tho, so he won’t push you too hard, but he also wants you to be at your best.

Even though talking to large groups (or small ones or even individuals) can be low-key terrifying, it’s something that you have to get used to to a certain degree, yanno?

But don’t worry because this precious boy will legit hold your hand through the whole thing if you want/need him to.

He does not care what people think, couldn’t care less about anything they have to say about it (which had better not be much unless they want to get verbally eviscerated because as I’ve established, I picture him as the type to get feral af when it comes to his s/o lmao).

However, if you’re ever in a headspace where you just cannot do the thing for whatever reason he’s more than willing to step up and speak for you. Definitely the type to order for you at a restaurant, talk to the customer service people, etc. Stuff like that has never really bothered him much, so it’s all good. But that’s only tangentially related, so let’s move on.

↠ Whenever you actually do push past yourself to say your piece he goes full-on heart eyes, like… He knows how far you’ve come/how much effort you’ve put into things and his heart is just so full it feels like its gonna burst–

“I knew you could do it, love! I’m so very proud of you, you did so good!!”

↠ I don’t see him as being super big on extreme levels of PDA, but you’re definitely gonna get the breath smooched out of you so long as it’s even remotely feasible/appropriate for him to do so. He’s just so full up on his affections for you in that moment and it’s all gotta go somewhere, ya know?

↠ And Tadashi’s affections—his love, for you and you alone—runs so much deeper than either of you will ever truly know if only because he’s yet to find its end.

Tobio Kageyama will always make sure that you feel confident. || WC: 2.7k~

↠ Kags is, as we all well know, a man of few words when it comes to most things.

If it’s something that’s actually able to capture his interest in full, however, he can and will go on about it for hours, deconstructing it down to its most minuscule parts and analyzing the hell out of it until he understands it in its entirety.

For nearly the whole of his life volleyball held the honor of being that which he was most passionate about, but then you happened to him.

And that’s how he describes it, btw. You happened to him—in the best, most beautiful way possible.

↠ Before you came along he wasn’t really one for romantic entanglements. But despite what some may think it was never a matter of him not wanting a relationship, quite the opposite actually.

His brusque mannerisms and intimidating appearance has always belied the soft heart that he keeps tucked well away from the outside world.

Only those closest to him have ever had the distinct pleasure and honor of seeing the well of love and care that he harbors, and even they don’t know its depths in full.

The few attempts at relationships he had prior to meeting you always ended in what he perceived to be a rather abrupt manner, but to his partners was a long time coming.

The common reason cited for their leaving was his continued emotional distance or his hectic schedule which often created led to a literal distancing—tho in most cases it was usually both.

↠ Now the former he could understand and even agree with. Even now he knows that he’s not the most… conventional partner, all things considered.

His bluntness can be overly abrasive at times—hell, communicating in general is a thing that he continues to struggle with to this day.

He still has problems with getting what’s in his head to come out of his mouth in a way that not only makes sense to other people, but doesn’t upset them in one way or another.

And discussing feelings, be them his own or those of others, always trips him up. He’s able to empathize, but knowing when and how to show his concern is something he’s yet to get a good grasp on.

His efforts are usually rather clumsy thanks to his stilted delivery. Most times he just defaults to an awkward back pat and a few generic words, a combination that leaves most recipients with the impression that he doesn’t actually care, but rather is just going through the motions.

↠ But he does care—so, so much—he just doesn’t know how to express it.

He’s so emotionally repressed, tho tbh I don’t really know why that is. Like… is there a canonical reason that comes up later in the series? Or is that just the way he’s wired?

Either way, he takes steps over the years to become a better communicator, and he had honestly thought that he was getting better at things, but three failed relationships say otherwise.

It really gets next to him because he’d been actually trying so damn hard to make things work. He wanted to be good to them, but it’s p. difficult to hold a relationship together when you don’t really know who you yourself are.

He was still so young then, still growing into and learning himself—a process that’s messy for even the most well-adjusted among us, never mind someone as stunted as Kageyama.

So yeah, he can totally understand the whole ‘cold and distant’ thing, because he knows that he came off that way more often than not, and it wasn’t always due to miscommunication.

He also knows that he can be an outright bastard when he wants to (and even when he doesn’t) so, yeah—fair enough.

↠ But as far as his schedule/work ethic’s concerned—well, he’d been v. clear about his personal hierarchy from the start of things, making sure that his partner always knew where they stood in relation to his goals and drive.

A calculated, and somewhat cold move, but no one could ever say that they went into things blind.

But just because he said it doesn’t mean that it was the move, yanno? Like you can’t just tell someone in so many words that they’ll never be at the top of your list of priorities and have it be okay.

Still, he did it and they went for it anyway, so…

But knowing something in theory and living it in practice are two different beasts, so it was really only ever a matter of time before things went south.

↠ In the end they were both at fault in a way; them for thinking that they could change Tobio and-or expecting him to be something he was not, and him for not being able to balance the professional with the personal.

What’s worse is that even after being made aware of this particular shortcoming he wasn’t entirely sure if he could, or if he even wanted to rectify his behavior.

After all, volleyball’s his first love, his dream, his passion, the sum total of his aspirations… His ultimate finish line has always been his being the greatest setter the game has ever seen and there’s little he won’t do or sacrifice to bring about that end.

↠ But despite the harshest of his feelings, he would’ve been lying if he said that each failed attempt didn’t chip away at him.

Tobio Kageyama has always been a man that does not suffer failure gracefully.

Had he been even just a year younger at the time of his last break-up he would have unloaded on them in a most explosive fashion—he certainly had the previous two times, and to call those break-ups messy or even volatile would be an extreme practice in understatement—but what little social grace he had managed to accumulate in the interim saw him internalizing everything instead.

For a good bit after that he gets pretty down on himself, so much so that he resigns himself to eternal bachelorhood. It’s not like he’ll ever be able to give a partner what they’ll want and certainly not what they’ll deserve or need anyway, so really his staying single is the fairest solution to all parties involved, or not involved as the case would be.

He carries on like this for the better part of a year, throwing himself into volleyball with even more vigor than before, working himself to the point of exhaustion day after day so that he won’t have time to think about all of his many emotional/romantic shortcomings.

Naturally it works after a fashion—his routine is lethal and oftentimes leaves him too wrecked to do much more than the bare necessities once he crawls home—but it’s little more than a holding pattern. He’s stuck dead center in his misery and he doesn’t have the first clue as to how to dig himself out.

↠ It isn’t until he has a talk with Ennoshita of all people that he starts to get into a better headspace.

His former captain just happens to run into Kags several years after the setter graduates and he instantly notices that something is off about the guy.

For as long as he’s known him there’s been v. little that can legitimately upset Kageyama that isn’t volleyball (or Hinata) related, and as far as he knows he was doing more than well in that department (with volleyball that is, tho his friendship with the hyperactive hitter is as strong as ever). That means that whatever it is that’s eating away at him has to be big.

It really bothers him, seeing the usually unflappable setter so out of sorts, so he does what any good friend would do and invites him to lunch.

He honestly isn’t actually expecting to get much of anything out of the younger man when he asks him what’s up, but…

The phrase ‘word vomit’ comes to mind.

Kags absolutely spews all of his worries and doubts onto Ennoshita, and to this day he cannot say what possessed him to do so. He hasn’t even told Hinata the full story and that dweeb’s not only his best friend, but nosy as all hell.

He had resolved to keep all of this to himself, and yet here he is, eyes stinging with barely contained tears as he tells the whole of his romantic life’s story to a guy that he hasn’t talked to in over five years.

The reply that he gets is surprisingly succinct when compared to the deluge he had released, and it hits him in a way that he isn’t expecting.

“It seems as if you need a perspective shift. None of this is… ideal but constantly focusing on everything you did wrong won’t get you anywhere. All you can really do now is learn from your mistakes. Take this as an opportunity to grow into the type of partner—the type of person—that you want to be and go from there.”

((Ugh, we love a king who’s not only good with his words, but also has common sense!!))

Ennoshita’s advice isn’t groundbreaking by any means, but Tobio finds a distinct sort of beauty amongst the simplicity. What’s more it’s a concept that he’s already familiar with, tho he hadn’t thought to apply it outside of the court.

After all, a failure is only a failure in truth if you refuse to learn from it.

↠ So while all of those failed relationships may have taken their toll, they do help to make him into a better man in the long run—one that is ready, willing, and able to love you (and be loved) the way you both need and deserve.

↠ With you he’s found a happy medium, tho to those outside of your relationship it probably still looks skewed, but that’s only because it is.

You’re the first and only person he’s ever been willing to put before volleyball, but in turn you’re very careful to never take advantage of your privileged position. You understand and respect his drive, and that goes a long way in helping to facilitate your relationship’s success.

You give him leave to invest as much time as he needs into honing his craft, but the reason you feel comfortable in doing so is because you know that he’s determined to make you a priority.

Your date nights may not be as frequent as you’d like, but that’s because he’s always careful to plan them for days when he knows he can give you his undivided attention—and to date he’s yet to cancel a single one.

↠ But what your relationship lacks in quality time is more than made up for in a myriad of other ways, both little and big.

Kags has taken the time to learn you completely—from your favorite meal, to what songs never fail to get you to dancing, to the distinct way your sleep-laden body curls around him at night.

He takes all of this acquired knowledge and uses it to make your life as convenient as possible while he’s away.

You never run out of anything, ever. It just does not happen. Your groceries? Delivered just as you’re thinking about making a store run. Your car? Always gassed up.

Your Spotify and Steam accounts always stay topped up, you’ve got a grip of gift cards to your favorite spots, and you may or may not have a body pillow that he’s infused with his signature scent.

((Just imagine this precious bby spooning the fuck outta said pillow over the course of a week for, and I quote, “maximum scent infusion”, like akdjawnhfa… Boy. Stop being so damn cute, please.))

If he can do it for you he absolutely will. Several people have told him this makes him, at the very least, simp-adjacent, but–

↠ It is not humanly possible for him to give less of a fuck about what anyone has to say about your relationship lmao…

↠ Meaning as much as you do to him, he just doesn’t understand how you cannot always perceive just how amazing you truly are, like???

Have you met yourself?

You’re just so… you. That’s really the highest compliment he can give because as far as he’s concerned you’re everything.

He wouldn’t be nearly so taken with you if you were anything less than the beautiful, brilliant, wonderful, kind, patient, and loving person that you are.

He may not always know why you’re feeling a certain way, but he certainly senses the change. He’s very sensitive to your moods, and over time he gets better at not only reading them but responding accordingly.

…sadly this doesn’t really transfer to those outside of his core group, so yanno, RIP to like 99.99% of the human population lmao.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s always polite enough, but he’s still prone to miscommunications that often lead to misconceptions of him as a person. Outsiders still think him cold and single minded to the point of obsession, but he hasn’t been that type of person in years.

But I’m getting off track (as usual), so let’s refocus.

↠ If your confidence ever takes a hit for whatever reason expect him to rectify that ish in short order.

Looping back around back to what I said at the very start, Kags is prone to reticence when it comes to most things. The two biggest exceptions to this are you and volleyball, in that order.

Ngl, he kinda really does go full simp when he gets to talking about you to his friends/family. You know that low-key crackhead energy that he’d get when he and Hinata used to strategize together way back when? Yeah, it’s kinda like that, but he’s talking about how much he adores you instead of plays and shit.

He won’t even realize how animated he’s becoming, too focused on telling an anecdote about one of your recent endeavors. And it’s so weird for them to see him so jazzed, but it’s also really sweet and endearing and so very wholesome to witness.

But gods help them all if anyone dares to comment on it, be it teasing or not. He’s either gonna go nuclear or clam up, there is no in between.

“They really are amazing, the best thing that’s ever happened to me, really. I don’t know what I’d do without them and I hope I never have to find out.”

*Cue a chorus of aww’s that kinda makes him want to forcibly eject his soul from his body*

But despite his best efforts he’s never been able to achieve that so he settles for disassociating instead lmfao.

Has definitely threatened—and then promptly tried to—throat punch Tanaka when he was getting at him for mooning over you. The only thing that saved the former ace was Daichi’s swole ass and his quick reaction time.

Meanwhile the ex-captain is low-key regretting this little reunion, and given that this is the sixth fight he’s stopped between half as many people in less than an hour who can blame him?

And then, just when things have finally calmed some Suga says “That escalated quickly” and now everybody’s trying to keep Dai from strangling the man that is supposed to be his best friend lmao…

↠ But again, I digress.

↠ As happy as he is to sing your praises he’s not one to release a deluge of words when it comes to heavier matters like this. Rather he speaks frankly and with that absolute conviction that he has about himself.

He always sounds so damned assured as he reminds you of who you are simply because, as far as he’s concerned, he’s just spitting facts.

The words are delivered with such confidence that you’ll be hard pressed to argue with him, but if you’re insistent on being down on yourself then honey, you’ve got a big storm coming.

The intensity that he usually reserves for those on the opposite side of the net is turned on you, albeit it in the most loving way possible.

He will not rest until you’re full up on self-confidence and all the assurance that your frame can contain.

↠ Kageyama’s love is the reassurance of a calloused palm pressed flush against your own, one that you know will never fall away no matter what.

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2021 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

47 notes · View notes

protectchara201x · 3 years

Text

(ignoring all the other juicy Deltarune 2 stuff to shove Chara Talks into it lololol)

I haven’t been super active on this blog because frankly I have like, three? looong analysis/theorycrafting posts I’ve been putting off working on and it fills me with shame to log in and see them waiting in my drafts.

But.

With the release of Deltarune Chapter 2, I wanted to talk kinda in general about how I thought it could impact the fandom’s perception of Everybody’s Favorite Demon Baby, and also point out something in specific about the Weird Route that might connect back to Undertale.

Putting it under the cut to avoid spoilers and long-winded ramblings for the unwilling. Includes spoilers for the Weird Route.

(NOTE: may update later if I notice more things for to put in section II. I’d like to make a full list of parallels if I can tidy them up.)

I. Pre- vs Post-Release Thoughts (you can skip down to II if you don’t care, it is genuinely Long and Pointless)

Okay, so first off. I got SO worried like, the day before the new chapter dropped? It hit me that whatever new stuff we got out of this, people would connect back to Undertale, and. Honestly, I really do hate connecting everything back to Chara, because I do think of Kris as their own character and I really like them and don’t want to ignore everything they got going on. But, I am first and foremost a shameless Chara stan and they’re very important to me, so I kinda... did spend a few minutes reeling from all the new DR stuff as its own stuff, and then immediately started thinking about how this would reflect back on Chara in Undertale lol.

But that’s ok for me to do here because this is my All Chara, Only Chara, All The Time blog, so I am gonna only really talk about Deltarune here to talk about them lol.

So yeah, I started getting anxious beforehand worrying about how everyone would take any and all implications and apply it to mean “aha, Chara IS evil!” The fakeout with the pie reveal in the anniversary stream was a big relief, but I still got worried leading up to the release about what could be in it.

Because part of why I’ve always thought that “Chara was genuinely evil from the start” and even “ok maybe not TOTALLY evil, but Chara was still a kinda bad person” were unlikely was, even if you throw out all the other popular Chara-sympathetic theories. To me, both these takes just seemed too below TF’s talent and the way he wrote all his other characters with depth and love; a Chara like the one these theories propose just doesn’t belong in a world created by TF, and the way the Dreemurrs talk about them overall, the way TF made a point of having Chara say they were guided and repeatedly, correctly blame you the player for the destruction in Kill-All, I was sure that he never intended them to ever be as bad as the fandom sometimes tried to make them out to be.

... Like, mostly sure. Like, 80% sure? Because he never ever talks about them, so it’s impossible say for sure, and it is still theoretically possible that “Chara was and is bad” was the cold-ass take he’d intended all along. So yeah, leading up to the release, I started getting antsy that whatever new lore came out of it, either he’d directly confirm “Chara was a villain?” “*cocks gun* Always has been” or there’d be something that’d at least heavily implicate them, or could be twisted to implicate them, as a negative force. More ammo to be used against them in the Chara Debate Circles would be a drag, and outright confirmation of them as a villain would honestly break my heart and I’d be forced to disown Toby Fox, My Beloved Cool Dad.

And, right now? Tell the truth, I’m SO relieved and I am SO happy. And not just because of how much depth and characterization it seems Kris is getting! (imo, because rn I just headcanon them as an unhappy teen desperately trying to keep their new friends going on adventures with them and trying to fight back against the player’s control)

I love how this chapter seems to be TF doing course-correcting based on fandom interpretations. Because Kris just isn’t evil, even if they are a knife teen, even if they are the Knight, they’re just NOT evil and that’s canon, baybeeee; it’s made clear in this chapter and the previous one that they love their family even outside of the player’s control, they care about their new friends even outside of the player’s control, they’re established as a weird creepy kid but no one sees them as scary or evil, they’re just Kris, and even in the Weird Route, TF made a point of hammering in the differences between Kris and the player in the Weird Route: Susie and Ralsei notice how distressed Kris seemed after you have Noelle ice Berdly, Noelle heard a voice that she said wasn’t Kris telling her to kill, and the FUCKING Spamton fight: “Kris called for help... but nobody came” again and again, and then “You whispered Noelle’s name”... you, not Kris.

I know TF has never commented much on fans’ perceptions of Frisk and Chara, or who exactly is pulling strings in different routes. But after all this, and especially after seeing all the little winks and nods to fandom jokes in this chapter (what comes to mind: pulling everyone’s leg by seeming to have Kris attack Toriel with a knife only to reveal that pie theory was right, Susie not liking Ralsei’s real face as much as his shadowed one, Ralsei with a gun getting referenced with the ad, Kris getting a joke fixation with knives after the fans made Chara and Kris have knife obsessions as a joke), and seeing what looks like him try to correct some things (what stuck out to me was doubling down on showing that Kris is loved and valued in their family: lots of fans came away from Chapter 1 thinking that Kris was not valued as much as Asriel, but here we see that Toriel is supportive of Kris’ friendship with Susie, and it’s stated that Asriel is the one who used the crappy controller, not Kris) -

I think while he hasn’t commented directly, while he admitted to being overwhelmed by Undertale’s success, while he tends to be pretty tight-lipped about the lore (whether that’s because it’ll be addressed by future chapters or because he prefers to let fans sleuth it out), this chapter convinced me that Toby does keep tabs on fan reactions in Deltarune, so he probably does with Undertale too and would know about all The Discourse surrounding Little Mx Pink Cheeks (and in turn, popular theories like Narrator Chara... Toby if you integrate Narrator Chara into Deltarune being a borderline creepypasta and have the narrator start talking directly to the characters or to the player or the characters start talking to the narrator I will lose my damn B E A N S).

(Kris and Chara not being demonized and the narrator interacting directly with the characters were the only two things on my wishlist going in, I was fine with literally anything else happening lmao)

I even kinda think he’s going out of his way to separate Kris and the player because we didn’t get it before with Undertale, we still insisted that Frisk or Chara was the one doing it, and he’s even using Kris to show that even if this kid can be scary, maybe even mean, and maybe they’re even the Knight (with their reasons unknown), they’re still not a bad kid, they’re still funny and likable, and they still genuinely love their family and friends - which falls in line with Undertale’s cast of complex but likable people who can be antagonists and make mistakes but still aren’t truly bad people, and imo is a direct response to some people fixating on the idea that Chara was always evil because they seem scary/complicated.

... Which is a long way to say that I came out of Deltarune with my confidence fully restored about TF’s intentions with Chara and Kris. Even if he never comments on Chara directly, now I really don’t think TF thinks they’re evil or ever intended for them to be. Deltarune convinced me more than ever that Chara is meant to be complex, yes, and able to be influenced to do horrible things, but they were never intended to be as malicious or shallow as some fans insist.

TLDR:

Toby Fox read your mean fanfiction where Chara is a bad abusive serial killer no one likes, and he made Deltarune in revenge.

... Hm? Ah, you’d like me to get to the point! Right this way!

II. Undertale, Deltarune, and The Point

While no doubt some will still take the voice Noelle hears to be Chara influencing her to turn her into a murderer (I haven’t gone looking for it yet, but I’m sure it’s already a thing because I know this fandom), since it’s made too clear by the game that they can’t blame Kris for this one, I think at this point that’s just being too stubborn to consider other ideas.

If you believe in the totally made up idea used in so many fanfics that Chara is an evil spirit trying to whisper in Frisk’s ear to kill everyone, literally (for some reason) the embodiment of raising stats, and gets more control over people who have increased LV to take over their body... sure. Could be them, they did talk about moving on to the next world and all. I mean, that wouldn’t really make sense because it’s literally never implied in the actual game that Chara encourages you to kill outside of the Kill-All Run or even wants you to, certainly not as the narrator and we get no hint of them doing this as an unseen, unheard third-party either.

Not to mention they’re NOT literally possessing you because of increased LV; they don’t control you even with high LV in any Undertale route other than arguably the Kill-All, and if you fail the Kill-All and it turns into a high-body count Neutral, Chara suddenly stops using first-person narration and showing up in mirrors entirely even though they were showing themself before, the LV remains the same or even can get raised as high as LV 19, nor do they suddenly take over in any other Neutral runs. We can speculate on why (personally, I’d place this either on Chara’s mindset, such as them sinking into shock from the trauma or becoming more assertive as the player feeds their megalomania, or as a sign of Frisk’s withdrawal, leaving Chara alone in the body to take the reins and act out the player’s orders), but canonically, no, Chara does not take over due to high stats.

In fact, there’s even more evidence against this. First-person narration also exists for fleeing your battles in Undertale, even on Pacifist runs with base stats, 0 EXP, and an LV of 1. Since Chara is established to use first-person narration to refer to themself, is the only one who canonically does so, and is confirmed to be present even in all runs through their name and memories always showing up, it seems pretty likely that Chara can take control to flee battle. That means an increase in stats is not a sign of their presence or control, in Undertale or Deltarune.

The most damning blow to the idea that Chara is the voice corrupting Noelle are the lines in the fight with Spamton I mentioned. Kris called for help, but nobody came. You whispered Noelle’s name. Well hold on. If that’s Chara, shouldn’t it be “I whispered Noelle’s name”? As soon as you’ve officially started the Kill-All in Undertale, Chara starts up their “It’s me, Chara” schtick right away, right there in Toriel’s home in the first area, and if they weren’t the narrator before, they’re beginning to speak through the narration now. If the voice was Chara, surely Toby Fox knows it’d be a way bigger “oh shit” moment if the creepy scary hidden route once again switched into first-person, scaring us the same way he did before when we first saw “It’s me, Chara” and knew something was wrong; unfairly or not, their reputation as a villain is still well established and hinting to Chara’s presence with a simple “I” would drive the menace even further, if he intended for them to simply be a demon that possesses player characters when you grind enough. But it’s still just you. The player.

The Weird Route does even more to help Chara’s case than that. Not only is it made pretty clear that Kris and the player are separate, and the player is the one responsible for corrupting Noelle and making her kill... consider how similar Noelle and Chara are, in the Weird Route and the Kill-All Route.

This “voice” that “guides” them in growing strong, compelling them to kill everyone in order to fight for them, eventually driving them to murder people they know. Chara calls themself “the demon that comes when people call its name”, and you whisper Noelle’s name to have her appear to kill Spamton. Noelle’s conflicting emotions towards Kris and the voice as she is manipulated, as she becomes more violent and sadistic, as she goes into shock; does that not sound like Chara, who flipflops between holding you dear as their partner and wanting to move on to the next world together, to be together forever, and them being disgusted by your refusal to accept consequences and the perverse enjoyment you get in killing everyone again and again? Chara, who clings to their quirky narration for much of the Kill-All, but keeps slipping up, who becomes terrifyingly cold, aggressive, power-hungry, and even sadistic, yet still calls Undyne “the heroine”, still seems to still care about their locket, still has moments where they seem to falter?

Noelle does put up significantly more resistance to the voice’s commands than Chara does, and at least much more visibly shows distress and trauma. I don’t think this is a black mark on Chara’s chara-cter either, or an indication of them being more violent or cruel.

For one, while Noelle is still herself with her own soul, it is heavily implied by Chara, Flowey, and Undertale’s lore that Chara was reincarnated without their own soul, at best perhaps attached to Frisk’s (or yours): as I speculate in one of my currently unfinished theories, while monster souls are made up of love, compassion, and hope and thus Asriel was reincarnated without these qualities, it could well be that human souls are correspondingly made up of their own multiple traits, namely determination, patience, bravery, integrity, perseverance, kindness, and justice; if true, a soulless Chara would be lacking these qualities, which would make them less equipped to resist the player’s commands or to feel as torn up about it.

Also, the player has a hold on them both as “party members” to the player’s vessels, but it is also possible that the player naming Chara and having them directly attached to Frisk also gives them a stronger connection to Chara they can abuse, similar to how Kris and Frisk (as the player’s direct vessels) have much less autonomy than Kris’ party members.

(Fun observation: We know that when the thing controlling Kris forced Noelle into becoming a killer and using her to kill Berdly, Kris was horrified and shaken-up according to Susie and Ralsei. How do you think Frisk felt watching Chara be used to slaughter the Underground and then erasing the world when they’re totally corrupted?)

And lastly... look, Noelle and Chara are both minors, but Chara is significantly younger - a small child compared to Noelle’s teen. I know it’s fiction and strong wills and determination and anime is real and all, but a traumatized young child who died two violent and awful deaths back-to-back, may have literally experienced being a corpse in their own coffin/grave for who knows how long, and then came back ”confused” only to immediately start hearing a voice relentlessly commanding them to kill everyone?? I can absolutely see a traumatized kid shutting down and just going with it out of fear at first, before the LV sets in.

TLDR:

What you do to Noelle in the Weird Route is the same fucking thing you do to Chara in the Kill-All Route.

46 notes · View notes

winter-fox-queen · 3 years

Text

Albatross

Summary: Frankie wants to give you your dream vacation, but he’s not sure if it is worth the price.

Warnings: Female reader. (He calls her his girl, and she wears a skirt in one scene.) Angst. No smut. I thought I would finally write smut, this was going to be a very different story where they were AT the place already, but. No. Angst with a nice ending because I can't leave Frankie to suffer too long.

Thanks to @autumnleaves1991-blog -- you are awesome and this picture is lovely.

1,870 words.

Frankie didn’t lie to you. Not about this, at least.

Well.

Not really. He was working extra, taking extra shifts. Except for right now. Right now, he was in a cabin in the middle of a state forest, one of the very few things he’d bought with the money. A place to hide. To be at peace.

It was not working. The money felt like a weight. Half of each share had gone to Redfly’s family. Half had gone to each man. He’d hoped for freedom. This was anything but.

I shouldn’t have hidden it in the cabin. He once watched a TV show about Escobar, seen that one of the caches of money he’d hidden outside had gotten moldy. So Frankie had gone into the cellar. Dug up a section of the dirt floor. Made a proper hiding place, kneeling in the dirt, mixing up quickcrete and placing stones until the cellar was paved in with stone pavers. Three were loose. Only one had a reinforced box with another box and a bunch of money that could change his life but he can’t even look you in the eye and explain that he has it.

So here he was, sitting on the weathered wood bench in front of the cabin you did not even know he owned, resting his cheek on his fist, looking at the cabin of his damned dreams like it was a haunted death trap from a B horror movie.

He signed, grabbed the magazine he’d dropped on the ground earlier, flipping it to an article you’d been sighing over when you thought he wasn’t looking. The ultimate romantic getaway, with tiled pools and greenery and luxurious accommodations and candlelight dinners.

“That’s pretty,” he’d said over your shoulder as you looked at the main picture of the article, a swimming pool tiled and beautiful – all Middle East and mysterious looking, making you think of romance and beauty.

“I love it,” you admit. “I’d never get to go…but it is beautiful. Have to win the lottery.” She grinned at him.

He looked it up online, curious. Frankie the pilot/mechanic couldn’t afford it. Not even with extra shifts and only one beer on Fridays and watching every penny.

The other Frankie could.

So that was why he found himself in the cellar. If you knew which paver it was to start from, and which direction to go, it was just a knight chess move, probably obvious and stupid, but he did not trust himself to remember any other way. He pried it up carefully so not to scratch the stone and give away the hiding place.

He stared at the hole. The carefully wrapped money. He fumbled for his phone, and by some miracle the call went through.

“Hey Frankie.” Pope’s voice sounded tired, but warm. Not quite there.

“If you really, really love someone, is it OK to lie to them?”

Pope didn’t think before he replied. “Of course not.”

“If you really, really love someone and want to do something to make them happy, is it OK to lie about where you got the money for it?”

That stopped Pope. Pope, instead of being split focused was now, 100%, listening. “Frankie…”

Frankie, waiting, crouching by the hidden safe, phone to one ear, other hand relaxed on his knee. Waiting. Frankie was very good at waiting.

Pope sputtered a little, tried to think of what to say. Finally. “Yeah, Frankie. It’s OK.”

It’s what he wanted to hear but it wasn’t the truth and he knew it. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love her. I’ve never wanted anything in my life like I want her, want her happiness. But there’s this whole chunk of my life that she doesn’t even know about. I look at this damned cabin and I think, she’d love it up here. Her car broke down and she needed to buy a new one, and I could have bought her a fucking car so she wouldn’t have to worry about payments.”

“I know,” Pope muttered, but Frankie is on a roll.

“And the one damned thing I’ve ever seen her really, really want and it’s this damned vacation and I can give it to her. I can fucking pay for it, but if she finds out how it’ll ruin everything. She won’t be able to enjoy it. The memory will be ruined. I can’t fucking win. What good is it, if I have this, and I can’t even use a little of it to make my girl happy?”

Pope, picking words, both because he’s not sure what to tell Franlie and because he is paranoid about anyone (doubtful) listening in. “Maybe…maybe that is the good. You can’t…make it better, right? But you can…clean it. Make good memories for your girl. Do good things for the people you love.” Pope sighed. “I can’t…I can’t bear it, either, you know? I save it for a rainy day, but…”

“I didn’t think the guilt would last so long,” Frankie said.

“No.”

“Maybe I should tell her.”

A pause. “I can’t think of any way to tell that story without things going to shit.”

“I don’t like lying to her.”

“No.” Another pause. “Please don’t tell her unless you know you can trust her.”

“She won’t blab.” Frankie glared at the phone.

“Don’t get insulted on her behalf. Everyone you love could get hurt…including her.”

Guilt seized his heart so hard he wondered if he was going to have a heart attack, right there.

“You OK, man?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” He said through numb feeling lips. “I’m ok.”

He slipped his phone in his pocket, reached in, and took what he thought he could use, and carefully hid everything again.

Then he got very devious.

You can put up to 15,000 on a prepaid Visa gift card. He went to a place where people were smart enough not to ask questions, or even care. One of those places where you want to wash your clothes after you leave.

Then he called the resort. “Look, I have these friends…” he said, “I want to treat them, but they can’t know who I am…” The prepaid card was as good as a credit card.

And then he went home, and waited for you to check your email. Sweating.

And, obscurely, jealous of himself. Super fucking jealous of himself, the more he thought about it. Like, he hated the mysterious benefactor who was about to make the love of his life so happy.

He wanted to be the one. Wanted your eyes to light up and know it was because he’d been able to provide for you, he’d been able to make this happen. He closed his eyes and swallowed it. It was stupid and selfish…what did it matter, who got the credit as long as you got this? As long as it made you happy? Frankie would be there, seeing your smile when you stood next to that glorious tiled pool, watch you dabble your toes shyly in the water, as if to ask, can I really have this?

And it did.

“Frankie!” You came in, sat on his lap. Your arms were warm around him, you made a soft and perfect armful as he wrapped himself around you, let your lips peck happy kisses all over his face.

“What is it, baby?”

You pull back. “You know. The trip.”

Frankie raises his eyebrows, all innocence, starts to protest, but you silence him with another kiss.

“I know, baby, who loves me enough to put so much effort into planning things like this. The surprise is nice, but you know I’m not dumb.” You toss aside his cap and run your fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp gently, and Frankie sighs softly, his eyes shutting a little. He opens them again when your hands cup his cheeks.

You look very serious. And a little sad. Which hits his Oh Shit button, hard.

“You didn’t have to go to all this effort, baby. You really didn’t.”

“Well, I…” he tried to think of something to say, but settled for, “I love you. I love you so much, you don’t even…”

This earns him a kiss on the forehead. Then you say, “I know how you got the money.” And his blood runs cold. Before he could marshal some sort of reply, you continue, “Come on, Cat. Long hours. Extra shifts? I know that the people down at the field are not the most upstanding of people. But…baby, it’s so dangerous.”

It doesn’t take him much to put the pieces together. “You think I’m running drugs?” It comes out as an incredulous squeak.

You nod. “It makes sense. This dream – literally a dream vacation – is not cheap. And I never expected it. You know that? I enjoyed day dreaming about going with you because I love you and I want to take you all over the world…” You sigh. “I just want to see the beautiful things of this world through your eyes.”

This time, Frankie does the silencing, with a gently thumb over your lips. “Sweetheart, I didn’t…”

You kiss the pad of his thumb. “You gonna try and tell me this money came on the up and up? Baby, I know how much you make.”

You look at each other for a long moment. You, work skirt hiked up so you can straddle his thighs, sitting closer to his knees, Frankie, his hands gentle on your hips so you don’t fall.

“I could tell you,” he says, softly. The words running underneath But I don’t want to and you might not like it.

You are sharp. That’s one of the things he likes about you, how much you see. It’s also one of the things that scares him the most. Finally, “Are you in danger?”

Frankie shakes his head, once.

“Is it…is it the reason why sometimes you get so sad?”

One nod. A little smile. He watches you digest this. Make a decision.

The delicate hands come up to frame his face again. You look him right in the eyes. “You are a good man. I don’t know what happened, and maybe, someday, you can tell me. But you are good and kind and I love you.” And you kiss him again, this time so fiercely that his thinks it’s going to bruise, and he’s fine with that.

You lean back again. “Humph. Well. If you’d not already paid for it, I’d probably save the money to pay on the car.”

“No take backs.” He grins despite himself.

“Rats.” You grin back. Slide off his lap. “Now to call Darla and see when I can take off, and then we are buying you a new swim suit.” You bounce on your feet, then turn to go for your phone.

Frankie leans back against the cushions with a groan. “I do not need…”

You peek around the doorframe. “You are not going to a five star resort in purple swim trunks with catfish on them!”

“They were a present!” he calls after your retreating form, and grins at the ceiling.

It’s going to be alright, he thinks, feeling lighter. It’s going to be alright.

#frankie morales x reader #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales x fem!reader #writer wednesday #pedro pascal #my fiction

51 notes · View notes

insomniamamma · 3 years

Text

“Surf City Goodness”: Ezra x F!reader w/Cee

A/n: This is the same AU as “Ferris Wheels Are for Old People” and “Liminal” but you don’t have to read those to read this one. Ezra loses his arm in an automobile accident which kills his brother, Damon and orphans his niece, Cee. Reader lives across the street from Ezra and they’ve been friendly for sometime but now it’s something more. Set after “Ferris Wheels Are For Old People” This is for @autumnleaves1991-blog and @clydesducktape ‘s Writer Wednesday.

Warnings: Language. Mentions of sex. Mentions of drug abuse. Mentions of traumatic injury/surgical scars. Mentions of Reader’s ex. Cee needs her own warning, but mostly this is just fluff. Ez and Cee and Reader enjoy a trip to the beach. I will include some songs from Cee’s playlist at the end.

Iggy Pop's voice warbles out of the speakers. "I wanna go to the beach, I don't care if it's decadent, I don't know where my spirit went, but that's alright..." "This seems a bit bleak, Birdie," says Ezra. "Quit your griping, you'll get your surf city goodness soon enough," says Cee and grins. Part of the deal they've worked out is that Cee gets to pick the music for any road trip longer than two hours, otherwise it's NPR until the signal fades and then whatever classic rock they can pick up. The three of you are crammed in the cab of Ezra's battered Ford Ranger. Cee is the smallest so she sits in the middle. The truck's bed is full of gear, air mattresses and sleeping bags and towels, a cooler filled with food and another filled with beer. I don't know what conditions we'll find exactly, Ez told you, We haven't been back here in some time. "If there's spiders I'm sleeping in the truck," you said and Ezra smiled, and pressed his remaining hand over his heart. "Never fear, Sunshine, I will protect your from our arachnid friends."

"Hey Sunshine!" Ezra calls from his front porch. You look up from your laptop to see Ezra and Cee laden with grocery bags. "Hey, Ez, you need a hand?" He smirks. This is an old joke between the two of you. When Ezra first came home, with Cee and without his arm, they were unloading Cee and Damon's things, bags and boxes and you, without thought had asked if he needed a hand, it just came out and you'd clapped your hands to your mouth, and then spluttered, I'm so sorry I didn't mean--and Ezra laughed, of course I need a hand. I'm down to just the one. "Always," he says. You loop the plastic bags over your arms, sweating packages laden with ground beef and bratwursts and chicken thighs. "You all having a party?" "We're going to the beach," says Cee. "You should come with us. It'll be fun." "Jesus, Cee," he mutters and then collects himself and smiles, "I had meant to ask you before this one jumped the gun-" "It's fine. Really." "You still working remotely?" asks Ezra. "For now. There's some talk about keeping my department remote." "Good thing or bad thing?" "Good thing," you say, "I like working in my pajamas." "Good thing because you could come with us," says Ezra. "Ez--" "I'm dead serious," he says, "Cee's got a four day weekend. We've got decent internet. Damon saw to that before...well, before. Mind you, this will probably be something of a working vacation. Ma's house has stood empty sometime. Damon used to keep it up but..." Ezra trails off. It's a small town. Damon's drug problems were more or less public knowledge. You think of the files you still need to edit, but for once you're ahead of the game. None of that is due until midway through next week. You've got some wiggle room if things go south. "Yeah? Yeah, fuck it. I'm coming with." Ezra smiles wide, revealing his dimples. And that's how you end up in the cab of Ezra's beat-to-shit truck listening to Cee's fun and somewhat baffling playlist.

"Talk to me, baby,I'm goin' blind from this sweet, sweet craving, whoa-oh, Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy, I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean..." "Is this a parody?" Asks Ezra, "Like a Weird Al Yankovic thing?" "No," says Cee, "It's an actual song. One of the Jonas brothers did it." "Someone greenlit and recorded this on purpose." "Yep." "A song. About eating cake on a beach." Cee gives you a sly look. "It's a metaphor, Ez," she says, "They're eating something but it's not cake." You have to hold in a laugh, watching the gears in Ezra's brain grind, watching his eyes go big. "Ohmygod! Cee!" Cee cackles and you snort laughter. "You are fifteen years old! You are a minor child! You should not be going there! You should not even know that there exists!" Ezra's cheeks go red. Cee is wheezing, eyes screwed shut with laughter, her own cheeks flaming, "You. Should see. Your face," she says. "It's not funny!" "Oh, it's funny," you say, "She got you good." "Come on, Ez," says Cee, "You think I can't recognize a poorly veiled sexual reference when I hear one? It doesn't take a genius--" "You are a terror," says Ezra, and Cee grins, proud of the title, "And you--" he arcs and eyebrow in your direction--"Are not helping matters." You give him your brightest smile. "What can I say? I thought it was just a song about some goofballs eating cake by the ocean." He huffs, but you can see the smirk creeping up his cheek as he drives.

The house at the end of the driveway is small, a cottage really, single storied and built up on stilts like the others around it, painted a faded robin's egg blue with white trim. The garage is underneath the house, room enough for one car and next to it is a room built to shelter the water heater and plumbing. A wooden staircase snakes up to a deck that wraps the entire structure. Sea grass sprouts in clumps from the sand. It's hot inside, a stale heat, and the first thing you do is open all the windows. "I think there's a couple box fans in the storage space," says Ezra, "I'll go fetch them." The back deck overlooks the ocean, pale expanse of sand and the gentle lap of blue-green sea, a wooden staircase reaches down to the sand below. The day is bright and hot and shot through with high cirrus clouds. You and Ezra have stripped the sheets from the beds and popped them in the washer, loaded the dishwasher, put fans in the windows. "This is cleaner than I expected," says Ezra, "Maybe Damon cared more than I gave him credit for." Ezra's face clouds. You take his hand, squeeze his fingers in yours. You know little about Damon other than the town gossip and what Ezra himself has told you. You don't understand the convolutions of their relationship, you just know that Damon is a slow-healing wound, and that it does Ezra no good to pick at it. You tug at him. "C'mon. Let's get changed. Cee's already got her suit on."

"Turn around, Birdie, let me get your back." Cee rolls her eyes but does as she's asked. Ezra sprays sunscreen across her bony shoulders and rubs it in. "I found a boogie board under the deck," says Cee, "And some toys from when I was real small. I found those floaty things you all used to put on my arms, remember those?" "I do," says Ezra, "Damon chucked you into the surf without so much as a by-your-leave. It scared the hell out of Ma but you laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. You're good to go, Little Bird." "Thanks, Ez." And she's down the stairs, heading towards the surf. "Your turn, Sunshine," he says and you turn your back to him. He presses a kiss against the juncture of your neck and shoulder, that one place that makes you squirm and shiver, right on the line between erogenous and ticklish. "Menace--" you say and then squawk when the cold spray hits you, soothed by the passage of his calloused palm across your shoulders, gently gripping the nape of your neck, and you lean back against him briefly, relishing his solidity, his warmth, his hand rests lightly on your hip. "Let me get your back," you say. Ezra turns his back to you and shucks out of his t-shirt. He's already ditched his prosthetic arm. Don't know how seaworthy it is, he'd said, as expensive as it was I don't care to find out. You shake the can of sunscreen and blast him with it. "Christ! That's cold!" "We gotta make sure Cee reapplies after a couple hours," you say, smoothing your hands over his broad back, relishing the slide of his tanned skin beneath your palms, "She'll burn to a crisp otherwise." You press your fingers into the tight muscles of his neck and he makes a contented sound like a purr in his chest. "You're always so tense right here," you say and dig your fingers in, feeling the thrumming muscles loosen somewhat under your touch. Ezra leans back into you as you did to him moments ago, your arms snake around his shoulders, tuck your face against the side of his neck. This thing with you and Ezra is soft and languid and you're not sure how to define it. This is not the fevered, clawed territory of young lovers, the sort of push and pull you had with your ex, the idea that love had to keep proving itself somehow. With Ezra there is nothing to prove. He seems content to ride this gentle wave, to let things play out in their own time. "Turn around," you murmur against his skin, "Not done with you yet." "Now, I am perfectly capable of applying--" he starts, but you see his eyes drop, and know it for what it is. You've known Ezra for a while. The two of you were always friendly, since you moved in across the street from him. Ezra before was even more exuberant, had a swagger about him, confidence in his own skin that is only just now trying starting to return. Ezra before would preen under your gaze if he caught you looking at him while he repainted his deck or put down mulch in his garden, Ezra now shrinks from your eyes. You can see the self-doubt seep in. The worry about his scars, that the loss of his arm makes him less, somehow. "I know," you say, "Maybe I just want an excuse to get handsy." He arcs an eyebrow at you, that brief flash of doubt replaced with his more familiar smug smirk. "Well, have at it, by all means," he says. You spray him with the sunscreen and start rubbing it in, smoothing over his freckled shoulders, down his upper arms, mindful of the tender skin at the end of his stump, the dips of his clavicles, his broad chest, littered in angry pink scars that shout in contrast to the rest of his skin. Punched indentations along his ribs where they'd stuck in tubes to drain the air and blood out of his collapsed lungs. You work your way down along his soft belly and back up his sides, a hissed intake of breathe and you stop. "Does that hurt?" "Nah. Tickles." "Mmm-hmmm. I'll have to remember that so I can use it to my advantage later." "Oh and I'm the menace," he says, his arm curls low around your hip, pulling you nearly flush with him, and you complete the motion, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him tight against you, your chin notched over his shoulder. Cee is creeping up the stairs with a battered plastic bucket in her hands. She shoots you a grin and you know exactly what she has in mind. You back up a little, cup Ezra's stubbled cheeks in your hands and kiss the tip of his nose. "Surprise," you say and take a big step back. There's just time enough for that little furrow to start between his brows and then Cee dowses him, a whole bucket of seawater poured directly over his head. He splutters. His eyes go big and round. Cee is doubled over laughing. "Oh," he says, blinking salt water out of his eyes, "Oh that's it. Today's the day, Cee! I am going to drown you!" "Gotta catch me first, old man!" says Cee and pelts down the beach. You run after them, their bright laughter peals through the warm summer air. Ezra grabs Cee and dunks her into an oncoming wave. She emerges splashing great fans into Ezra's face. "It is only proper that I took my vengeance," says Ezra, holding his hands out to deflect the spray. "I don't think the Geneva conventions apply here, you douche-canoe," says Cee. "Oi! That language--" This is your opening. You grab Ezra around his waist and push off backward into the oncoming wave, pulling him down with you. The two of you come back up, coughing and laughing, arms slung around each other. There's no shadow in Ezra's eyes now, you press your lips to his, the waves roll over you, the tide dragging at your bodies while you and him remain still. Press of your lips to his, your tongue licks out and tastes salt on his lips and he opens for you, his hand cupping the back of your head, guiding you against him, his tongue stroking against yours, no battle for dominance, this, just the plush heat of his mouth, the heave of your chests when you finally break apart, waist deep in the ocean. "I--" says Ezra and Cee's splash hits at face level. "Gotcha!" she crows, and starts running. "You miserable little rat!" He hollers, chasing her through the surf. You stand hip deep in the water and laugh. You're not sure what you and Ezra are to each other. Lovers? Friends? Family? Whatever it this is, it feels right and good. It feels like being home.

A/n: Here is a sampling of Cee’s beach trip playlist:

“I Want To Go To The Beach” by Iggy Pop

“Telstar” by The Tornados

“Cake By The Ocean” by DNCE

“Rockaway Beach” by The Ramones

“Misirlou” by Dick Dale and his Del-Tones

#writer wednesday #ezra prospect x f!reader #ezra (prospect) x f!reader #ezra and cee #prospect au #prospect contemporary AU

42 notes · View notes

bluebuckstallion · 3 years

Text

the sun will rise again - mlp fic p2

part one contents: aj and big mac are like. 13 and 15. big mac realizes she is a trans woman, and is guided by applejack, but there is much more to it than just that lol. its also a little hard for her. sappy, feel-good, tough internal conflict but overall happy fic. paragraph one is previewed here, the rest is below the cut! disclaimer: there is no transphobia in this fic lmao im not gonna write abt horse transphobia. this is a feel good. but cw for fear of outing (note: i am aware my blog makes posts a little hard to read bc of a glitch, i am trying to fix it at the moment, i apologize D: i rec reading it on tumblr mobile or highlighting the words as you read, im sorry!) paragraph one: The wind whispered lovingly, cooling little Big Mac and Applejack's drowsy heads. A time like this in a young pony's life can be very confusing, something the two of them had grown to be very familiar with. Applejack rested his backside against the trunk of one of his family's old apple trees, if they had no where else to take solace, at least they had the orchard and each other's company, he thought. It felt nice, having this little secret kept safe by somepony you knew would protect it, and who still cared about you just the same. "If nopony accepts us, at least we have each other. I don't care if it's just you and me, Big Mac, we'll be jus' fine." Applejack stated in a soft voice, breaking the silence. He was accepting of his circumstances, no matter how they turned out. As long as him and his sister ended up okay. And again, he was sure they would. Big Mac smiled and folded her hooves neatly, "Eeyup."

Applejack worked his fluffy hooves through Big Mac's mane, doing his absolute best to make the fine ginger hair into a braid. He wanted to do something nice for his sister, something to celebrate her bravery and courage in realizing - and telling - Applejack, and he wanted her to feel nice in her own body, even if she couldn't change much right now, or for a while. No matter how small the act, Big Mac was especially grateful. Nobody had ever treated her like this, on purpose at least, like she was a mare. And every chance Applejack could sieze he would do just that, remind her that was what, *who* she was. "So, Big Mac, what do you reckon I call you now?" With that her eyes widened, and her brows furrowed, it caught her off guard. "Like...my name? I didn't know I could change my name..." she let out, slightly confused, a tender hoof raising to her chin as she thought hard. "Yeah!" AJ beamed, not straying from his tedious work. Big Mac, still lying down, started shuffling her hooves again. "Well... I always thought if I were a girl my name would be something pretty, which I mean, I am a girl and all, but I don't feel very pretty ever," she admitted disheartened. "You're plenty pretty! You're an Apple! You wouldn't say Ma or Granny wasn't pretty, would you?" Applejack pointed out, gesturing absentmindedly in the air with his hooves, then promptly returning back to his work, being sure to keep a steady hoof. "Well... Nope." Big Mac blurted awkwardly, pursing her lips. "But-" she began. "No 'but's'!" Applejack interjected, "You're an Apple, and a dang pretty one!" Applejack closed his eyes and lifted his head proudly, putting his non-dominant hoof against his puffed chest, "Look at me, I'm an Apple and I'd say I'm awful handsome, just like Pa!" he said with an endearing foal-like passion and certainty. He chuckled, his cheeks growing slightly cherry as he let out a tiny chuckle, and got back to his work, about a quarter way down the locks. Big Mac grinned slightly, "I suppose," and tapped her hooves together shyly, playing with the grass falling between them. "You know, I always did think my mane was a little long for a stallion," she laughed playfully, diverting from the subject and trying to reassure herself. She went to touch her mane, and was swiftly batted away by Applejack's quick hoof, "Nuh-uh Big Mac, I'm workin' here. Don't go touchin' it now," he said sternly but still non-maliciously. He just wanted it to look perfect for his big sister, he wanted her to be proud, and feel as pretty as she could. Applejack wanted to know how it felt to look pretty, too, but in the way he'd always dreamed of. He wondered often if he'd ever get the blessing of such a wonderful feeling. "Applejack, do you ever wish you were born a colt?" Big mac asked genuinely, still a little unsure of what Applejack was feeling, but knowing there was solidarity in it somewhere, she just had to understand it a little more. "Well - not really," Applejack spat out, his eyes looking away from his busy hooves, and quickly darting back to them before he drifted off in fantasy. He thought about it for a second, and still felt strange. "I wasn't really born a filly or a colt... or anything, I think, I was just born me. And I wouldn't really have it any other way. Sure, I mean, maybe I'd like shorter hair or somethin', or a uh," he struggled to find the words in his young foal vocabulary, "maybe if my nose was a little more colt-ish I'd be happy. But I think I'm pretty happy with me now. I do hope when I'm older my voice is a little better, though. I can't really do much though," he sighed dismissively. He continued, "I don't ever really feel too bad about who I am... I think I just feel happy about who I am. When I see myself as not a colt and not a filly, just a foal, a pony, it makes me real happy-like. But, I don't get too sad unless people are real serious about calling me a filly. I do get sad sometimes though, when I look too much like a filly to other people..." As Applejack placed an orchard blossom in Big Mac's hair, tucked snug and safe behind her ear, a thought went through Big Mac's head. "Applejack!" she jumped up, the rush of movement startling him, who was so concentrated seconds prior. "Let's give you a haircut! It'll be like how you braided my hair for me, we can cut yours!" Applejack nervously rubbed his elbow, then raising his hoof lightly beneath his muzzle, and he began to sweat. "Well, I, what if Ma and Pa don't like it?" Big Mac thought hard as Applejack grimaced, "Well, we can hide it with one of Pa's hats, an' I'm sure they won't mind," she suggested happily. Applejack considered briefly, just for a moment, the downsides of it all. He then immediately turned them all away and smiled so hard his eyes shut, stomping his front hooves against the ground up and down, "Okay, let's do it Big Mac!" As they galloped back to the barn, Applejack had suddenly realized he was so surprised with how much Big Mac had been talking, she never seemed so excited to talk about anything, and he realized how much this all meant to her. It meant a lot to him, too. Especially that his sister was so supportive while still knowing so little, but in her defense, he didn't know much either. It was a very special feeling, he thought to himself, very pleased. They skidded to a halt clumsily as they reached the doors to the barn. Foal-ishly peeking through the front windows, they realized it was only Granny and baby Bloom home, their parents must be out. They looked at each other, grinning, and cantered to the back, sneaking inside through the back door. When they made it to the bathroom, Applejack noted Big Mac looked a little worn out, wearing a tired look on her face. She figured all this chattiness probably made her sister a little exhausted. He shot a reassuring patended Sibling glance at her telling her all she needed to know, not needing words. Big Mac let out a gentle smile. She helped her little brother reach the cabinet above the sink, reaching the scissors that were so high up it took them both working together to reach. Applejack had a slight doubt in his mind, his parents probably didn't want him touching the scissors by himself, did they? But he had his big sister with him, and it had to be done! Nopony else would, and only they understood. Applejack balanced shakily with two hooves on Big Mac's back, warily reaching one back hoof up onto the sink, as he balanced with his two front hooves against the edge of the cabinet. He grasped the scissors between his teeth, and brashly jumped down, just barely missing a potential accident, even though they both knew better than to jump around with scissors, they threw caution to the wind regardless. Applejack happily put his front hooves on the rim of the sink, tapping them and bopping his little head, he looked at his big sister, who began working at his hair. Big Mac chopped with a great lack of care, playfully snipping one strand then the next. Applejack beamed the whole time, simply happy to have it happen, plan or not. Big Mac frequently spun around him, balancing on three hooves and sometimes getting in so close that she held his face with one hoof, his hair with another, and cut with the scissors firm in her mouth. Applejack's body relaxed completely and was kicking and rearing with every cut, wiggling and happily holding his front hooves together and constantly swishing his head from side to side to check how it looked, one side fell to his muzzle, and the other to his chin. He smiled bigger than ever before. With the final snip, Big Mac dropped the scissors carelessly to the tile below. She gently grasped Applejack's chin and turned her sibling's head forward to face the mirror, and his mouth immediately fell agape, his jaw slack, and his eyes slowly widening with the purest joy there ever was. He cupped his hooves to his mouth, removing them, turning his head to the side, and then fixing himself and putting his hooves to his open mouth once again. He felt a soft tug in his throat and his chest, and he couldn't control the watering in his eyes, "Big Mac!!" his voice cracked. "Yes Applejack?" the filly said apprehensively, fearing that she had done something wrong. "Oh Big Mac, oh my gosh I love it so so much!!" He bucked and whinnied, spinning in circles, his once-flowing tail too short to trip over now, and the euphoria of it all was the most overwhelming emotion little Applejack had ever felt. The tugging became so immense he couldn't ignore it, and he acknowledged it by leaping onto Big Mac with a hearty hug, squeezing her tight as his little arms could, and he rubbed his muzzle into her neck. Big Mac politely pushed her hoof between her neck and AJ's hoof, making sure he didn't squeeze too tight, struggling slightly to breathe. This foal was definitely a strong one. "Thank you so much big sis!!! I feel so great!!" he neighed, stepping back, one hoof raised wiping his immense wave of tears. The feeling of euphoria shot through his body in a rush, showing itself in the form of a tiny but powerful hop, as he lifted his legs into the air and threw them around. Applejack rushed back to the mirror, urging Big Mac to come look as well, as she didn't quite see herself yet with her hair "done all proper-like." Big Mac's face became pale, as she felt the rush of a thousand different emotions. The paranoia became astounding again, what if she didn't like how she looked as a filly? What if she still didn't feel right? What if it wasn't - Her thoughts were abruptly cut short by Applejack tugging her over, knowing her sister just sometimes needed a push in the right direction. "Lookie Big Mac!!" he placed his arm cheerfully around her, wrapping it over her back. Big Mac's eyes were glued shut, and she only bashfully peeked one eye open because curiosity would've ate her alive otherwise, and deep down she knew she had to see herself eventually. She uncovered her hoof from her eye, and opened both of them slowly. Her mouth opened ever so slightly, and she wasn't even aware she had stopped breathing, her eyes fluttered up and down the braided locks, along with her heart, and her eyes landed on the blossom in her ear. She couldn't speak, her throat clogged up from such elation. She felt the choking once again, but it wasn't like before, this feeling was quite welcoming actually. It rushed from her throat up to her head, and took her breath away. The sobbing ebbed at her cheeks right away, and she turned to look at her brother. As they spoke with lack of words, they stared with inordinate graditude. As Big Mac smoothly turned back to the mirror, Applejack stomped all his hooves again, one after the other with no apparent order or care, shaking his head in a frenzy as his ears twitched and he smiled a mile wide. He finally felt *pretty.* Big Mac watched herself adoringly, for the first time ever, and felt this acceptance and understanding of herself coursing through her veins with a confidence she'd never had. She blushed, and her ears fell downward, a small smile creeping onto her face. "Applejack," she whispered softly, as if she were too worried the world would hear her secrets. Applejack peered closer with wide, curious eyes, "Yeah Big Mac?" he whispered back. "My name.." she mumbled. Applejack raised his eyebrows, captivated, as Big Mac slowly lifted her hoof to the blossom behind her ear. "Blossom?" Applejack stated inquisitively, before Big Mac could shake her head AJ corrected himself, "Orchard Blossom!" he exlaimed, leaning back and jumping in the air, "Oh big sis, that's so pretty!! I love it so much!!" Orchard Blossom nervously gestured for him to keep it down, as he was prone to being unaware of his volume control. Applejack embarassedly covered his mouth with a shy smile, "Oops, sorry big sis." he cleared his throat, "Orchard Blossom!!" he yell-whispered, the excitement shining through him, he stamped his tiny hooves and clapped them together in celebration. "That's so pretty, Orchard Blossom!" Applejack told her earnestly, loving the new name. "I don't think I want a new name, but I'm really happy ya found one you like!" "Orchard Blossom, Orchard Blossom, Orchard Blossom!" Applejack repeated, playfully prancing in circles, excited by the sight of his short tail, he spun even faster. "What's all that commotion in there? Applejack? Big Mac? Are ya in there?" they heard through the shut door, hoofsteps gradually approaching, painstakingly slow but steady. Both of them felt their hearts drop from their chest as they froze, unable to even fathom moving. How would they explain any of this? Applejack hurried to clean up desperately, brushing the hair together with his hooves, coldly sweating from his brow as he frantically hurried to remove any evidence. He stopped mid-sweep to quickly shove his father's hat on his head, which slumped immediately and blocked his vision. "Oh dangit Blossom, Pa's hat's too big! I can't see!!" Orchard Blossom was still unmoving, sheer panic stopping her very breaths. Applejack felt the tugging in his throat rise up again as he began whimpering.

#applejack mlp #big mac mlp #mlp fanfic #mlp fic #mlp writing #mlp au #mlp #applejack #big mac #trans applejack #trans big mac #my little pony #lesbian applejack #lesbian big mac #orchard blossom #trans au #the sun will rise again

18 notes · View notes

fishmongeringstudies · 3 years

Text

six: wandering the city while waiting for a train that'll never come, you stop to wave at a dog on the street only to realize you have mistaken a crumpled bag of mcdonald's for a chihuahua

i almost slipped and died in the shower today. luckily i didn't, because i read somewhere that slipping and dying in the shower makes it a little hard for you to finish writing a manuscript for a novel fictionalizing the events of your freshman spring semester that's definitely going to become a new york times bestseller in about four years' time, but i came pretty close. for a moment i had my hand on the wall and my legs splayed like a barbie doll stuck to a stripper pole and the matchbox world behind the shower curtain was slipping steadily south and heading lower still. and then i caught myself.

several minutes later i heard scuffling beyond the pale, soapy shower curtain and thought there might be someone creeping on me. if someone was creeping on me i had an idea of who it might be, which made the prospect all the more likely and infinitely more convincing inside the grapefruit-sized thing i called my brain. then i heard the clap of god's hands in an ashen sky, and i knew. this was no man made disaster-in-waiting. it had begun to rain.

it didn't rain for long. five minutes at best, two if my grasp on the spatial-temporal continuum is worse than i'd imagined (this is very likely; the stars pass me by faster than i can count them these days), but long enough that anyone who happened to be outside when that first teardrop fell from the sky got a little wet. a little fucked up, if you will, which, hey. good for him. he deserves to get a little fucked up.

but i get carried away. please excuse my personal grievances. this is not a lament, it is a swimming pool. full of tiny colorful fish which flit around at its bottom, chasing strands of sunlight like children on a playground.

the weather forecast says it'll rain again tomorrow, and maybe the day after, too, if the world stays sad enough to let it happen. it makes me nostalgic. when i left in february monsoon season was in full swing, tearing trees from their roots with big meaty hands and making every fleeting boring moment into the kind of gray sunday afternoon on which i imagine the directors of romantic dramas like to shoot break-ups. rain in singapore looks different. it's not a bucket full of water, it's a room. a blue room against a silver sky. your socks stuck to your ankles with the kind of grim determination that makes you almost a little sad to peel them off, to toss them in the washing machine behind the kitchen. there's a little balcony behind the kitchen in the house you left in february, with a washing machine and a ledge for sitting on and a dryer that doesn't work. you used to go there when you wanted to check on the restaurant across the street. from here you can make out the round, blue-rimmed tables that attract students, biking enthusiasts, three am brawls between red-faced european men and their red-faced european friends. if there's noise on this side of the street, it's probably coming from there.

summer. summer reminds me of home. so far i've been telling people that the association is a bad one, and it certainly isn't a lie, but it's not a whole truth either, if one believes in the matter of whole truths to begin with. i'm starting to think maybe there are only skim-milk truths, clotted cream truths, 0% fat yogurt truths. truths that change shape when you aren't looking. we aren't looking most of the time, after all. we're very busy people. all of us. we're trying to change the world.

and for what? who are we trying to save? do you want to live forever? that's the goal, isn't it. i mean it's definitely mine. i won't blame you if the concept of death sits on your shoulder like a fourth generation ipod touch with a broken home button, whispering really fucked up shit into your ear when you're alone. i mean it definitely does for me.

puzzle-girl is in new york now, last i checked. good for her. i hear new york is full of lights and electricity and car exhaust. maybe one day she will learn that friendship isn't an emergency help-line. probably not. my friend thinks she will, thinks we'll come back around in our junior year and everyone will see us stuck to each other again like two grotesque modern art pieces drilled back-to-back into a museum exhibit wall only with a firm mutual understanding of what boundaries are, but i have my doubts.

once someone told me with the kind of half-fake half-genuine smile that makes you wonder if AI technology has advanced far enough to mimic the complexities of stupid hormonal teenagers with really bad interpersonal issues after all that i was blooming. coincidentally all the flowers on campus had suddenly decided to poke their heads out of the dirt like babies busting their way out of refrigerators, guns blazing, hearts shot to pieces, so it's not like he was completely bullshitting me. he was only ninety-eight percent bullshitting me. the two percent is why he comes up in my writing as often as he does, all this time later. like i think he was ninety-eight percent clown but two percent circus, two percent red-nosed reindeer trying to unionize behind a striped curtain, two percent something real. or at least i like to think that way. i'm a writer. we have to pretend there's something to write about. or else what will we write about?

so yeah. one time someone told me i was blooming. at the time i was embarrassed. and then after the story put an abrupt end to itself i was madly obsessed with the idea of flowers jutting out of cracks in the earth, gold pouring forth from blood-wounds, poinsettia eyes, whatever, whatever, and then the flowers started wilting. standing on the path outside my dorm i was like what the fuck? why the hell is everything dying? it's been like three days, god, what are you guys made of, tissue paper?

i was talking to the flowers. which died in spite of my indignation, so that's one for nature, zero for me. good for them. see you next spring, when things will, hopefully, be different. i don't have a plan as much as i have a dream i'd like to see walk into reality on three legs and a pitchfork. but it's a good dream. i promise.

the sky's clear as glass now. it's so bright i could probably stick my hand up there and stir vigorously and then an angel would emerge from the ether, rubbing her eye sleepily with the back of her hand. that's the kind of clarity i'm talking about. making metaphors about christianity-clarity. i am lonely and my dreams are full of beautiful people-clarity.

that's a lie-clarity. loneliness is, as mentioned in a previous installment of the meandering car accident i call this blog, a choice, and i'm too lazy and full of my own slew of interpersonal issues to commit to something like that. but summer is new, and it's like i'm getting used to the body in my basement all over again. how do i step around it, how do i make sure i don't look at its face? and its eyes, oh, those eyes. how terrible. how full of absence.

there will be exactly two hundred students on campus when summer move-ins are finished next week. this school has a population of nearly sixteen hundred. what are we doing?

research. academia. learning a new language. road trips. plane trips. horse riding lessons. research. academia. learning a new language. relationships. spaceships. building a ladder to the moon.

it feels like the sun never sets sometimes. the hours slide into one another like tectonic plates beneath the surface of the world and yet the sky remains just as it looked this afternoon, milk-white and pale as death. a hot summer wind blows and sends the clouds careening sideways into each other, and yet from this distance nothing changes. drop a body in a bathtub and nothing changes. beat someone up and nothing changes. survive thirteen weeks of bad mistakes and then worse ones, midnight mistakes, thursday evening mistakes, the kind of mistake you don't think you'll ever be able to write about, and still nothing changes.

they say there's always a silver lining but what if i want fur instead? let's say i want a fur-lined sky with fur-lined clouds and a little heart-shaped toy that makes a sound when you step on it. let's say i want to be fifteen again. the sky doesn't care. it still looks like a damn sky. the sky doesn't do things out of sentimentality.

it's just kind of there. today i'm just kind of here. today we're all alive. good for you. good for me. good thing my hand was on the wall when i slipped in the shower, so i could get out and dry my hair and then sit down in this shitty weird-smelling lounge with my laptop with the cracked touchpad and my cool elmo slippers, and tell you about this solitary life on mars.

05.26.2021

#i just realized i put my mask on inside out. luckily i have been alone in this lounge for thirty minutes and it is a new mask #so minimal damage has been done but shame on me anyway. i will go reflect in the shame corner now

26 notes · View notes

myhockeyworld87 · 4 years

Text

Bubble Wrapped - Part 1

Word Count: 2,683

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language

Notes: Ok so here is basically our introduction to the Bubble Wrapped story. I have no timeline for this thing or even if it will continue, you guys let me know. As a background, this story will be about life inside Hotel X. In case you don’t know the teams inside Hotel X are the Bruins, Capitals, Flyers, Penguins and Lightning. So here we go, Happy Reading!

You'd been shocked when Hotel X had been picked as one of the hotels for the NHL to stay at when they resumed play in Toronto. Even more so when you were asked if you would take over the management of the place over the next several weeks. "Listen (Y/N) we know we are asking a lot. You'll have to live at the hotel with all the players as the NHL is really trying to keep everyone in this little bubble."

"I understand. I've already talked to Carly about putting different measures in place when the Maple Leafs came to us before submitting their proposal." Carly was another member of the hotel staff, that served as one of their concierges. She knew the ins and outs of the city and could get tickets or dinner reservations on the drop of a dime. That was all before COVID though. Now, some restaurants were still closed and shows hadn't resumed yet. What once was a bustling city, had come to a dead stop over the last several months, though things were starting to get back to normal; well the new normal that is.

"So we heard." You hoped the blush that crept up your cheeks couldn't be seen on the zoom call as that had become their new form of communication with you. "You've dealt with the players before, we know you can handle it. Though this time it'll be completely different with five or six teams staying there." Most of the players had always been super nice to the staff, though there were a few that could be demanding at times. You prayed they'd all push their egos aside, at least while in the hotel, though somehow you doubted that. "I think you're familiar with the NHL's protocol on their reopening, but we'll email you everything once we get it. Start putting together the staff that you want. Just some core people that you'll need."

"I've got the right people in mind, don't worry."

The call went for a bit longer going over specifics. The only benefit out of the whole thing was that they were giving you the Presidential Suite to stay in. Honestly, it was the least they could do; you thought. Of course, the called ending with them saying, "Don't let us down."

As soon as it ended you called Carly making sure she was on board. "I'm just saying Car that many hockey players in the hotel; the testosterone is going to be flying around."

"So what you're telling me is you've already packed an extra-large box of condoms."

"Carly!" You shouted at your friend. "That's not what I was saying at all."

"Come on (Y/N), I know you're one of Seguin's regulars when he's in Toronto."

"I'm one of them because I can keep my mouth shut." It was true that when Tyler was in town during the summer or on a road trip the two of you always hooked up. Sort of a no strings attached relationship, though you did talk from time to time. "Besides he's not even going to be in Toronto. He's in the Edmonton bubble."

"Oh, I didn't realize." Carly despite being from Canada was not a hockey lover, though she did appreciate the men who played the sport. "Well, maybe you should call him and get the scoop. You know find out who we need to be aware of."

It wasn't a bad idea, not that you were going to ask him who to sleep with, but maybe it would help get a handle on who was going to be problematic, as there was no way you wanted to let the owners of the hotel down. You had a lot riding on this and after all, you couldn't put bitter rivals in one hotel and not expect some drama. "You're right. I am going to call him."

"Ooo good, let me know what he says and if we should get more than one box of those condoms."

You shook your head at your friend before hanging up and dialing Tyler's number. "Hey beautiful, long time no talk," Tyler said and you could almost hear the smile in his voice.

"Hey Ty, how's quarantine life going?"

"Ugh, don't get me started. I was not meant to be locked in my house without hockey for this long." Tyler wasn't meant to stay put anywhere too long, including relationships.

"Well, hockey's almost back so there's that."

"Yeah, I'm pumped about it, though I wish I was staying in Toronto instead. I know some fun that we could get up to since I have to stay in the bubble." He paused and you could clearly tell he was running different sex scenarios in his head. "I'm assuming your working at the hotel."

"Yeah, it's kind of why I called. I'm one of the ones trapped in the bubble with you guys."

Tyler groaned. "So, you called to ask me who you should hook up with? Cause babe, I'm not sure I'm willing to share you like that."

"Shut up Ty, you know we're not like that. You couldn't stay faithful to one woman if you tried." Part of the reason the two of you got along so good, was the fact that you called him out on his bullshit.

"I might if I could drag you with me everywhere." You giggled at the insinuation of being taken everywhere just so you could keep him satisfied. "You're definitely gifted with many talents (Y/N)."

"You're not so bad yourself, but we're getting away from why I called."

"You mean you didn't call to have phone sex with me," and you could hear his pout.

"No, I didn't call for that. I was just curious if you had any idea who was going to give me problems while we're in this so-called bubble. I'm trying to be preemptive here."

"Ok, but if I give you some information you at least have to promise to send me a pic of your tits." You mentally rolled your eyes at him; the boy was a horndog.

"Fine, now spill some tea."

"Spill some tea, what is this a gossip blog or something."

"You're avoiding the question Ty, and I'm putting on a sweatshirt." He groaned.

"Alright, don't get your panties in a bunch…or maybe do." It never ended with him. "I don't know a lot about some of the younger guys that are newer in the league, but my guess is they're all horny little bastards. Hell, I was when I first got in the league."

"You still are."

"Touché." He answered before continuing on. "So, like I probably don't have to mention the rivalries to you, but like Caps and Pens hate each other, the Flyers and Pens hate each other. Doesn't everyone just hate the Pens?"

"I think you either love them or hate them."

"That's true," he agreed with your statement. "The Flyers and the Caps hate each other as well and don't get me started with who hates the Bruins. Wow, who really put them all in your hotel?"

"I'd like to know that as well." It seemed like whoever did, had a warped sense of humor and you were now going to be stuck handling the mess that they'd made. "So, basically what you're saying is that it'll be an all-out brawl at times that I'll have to clean up after."

"Sorry babe, but I think it could be. On the bright side, we're supposed to stay on our own floors."

"Like that's going to happen." Maybe you should designate elevators or something because you could just see Alex Ovechkin and Claude Giroux getting in one at the same time and by the time, they got to your lobby they'd both be bloody and beaten. "Anything else I should know?"

"You seriously want me to go there?"

"I mean...if you want to." You certainly weren't going to ask but if he offered the information you'd tuck it away for later that's for sure.

He sighed heavily, "You know I hate this, but like Tom Wilson gets around that's for sure and I've heard that Travis Konecny does as well. If I'm being honest there's maybe been a girl or two that's compared us."

"Really?"

"That doesn't mean you have to be one of them, though if you are…you better tell them I'm better."

"Don't worry Ty, I'll sing your praises. I promise." Obviously, you wouldn't be doing that but it didn't hurt to stroke his ego a bit. "Anyone, to avoid?"

"Marchy!"

"Dude, he was like one of your best friends. Why would you say that?"

"Because I know him. Stay away he's trouble." The fact that you could almost see the look on his face as he was telling you was comical.

"Fine."

"Oh and stay away from Carter Hart." The name sounded familiar.

"The goalie from Philly? Why?"

"Because you'll corrupt him." You burst out laughing and Ty joined you. "He's too innocent for you."

"Dually noted, as I do not want to be known as the corruptor of innocents." You searched your mind thinking of anything else you could ask since you had him on the phone. "What about Crosby?"

"Sid?" and he just couldn't stop laughing; you could even hear him try to catch his breath.

"Why is that so funny? The man is hot Tyler, whether you want to admit it or not."

He got serious as he asked, "Who's hotter him or me?"

Thank god you weren't on FaceTime, so you could answer him without your features giving you away. "You are Ty, of course."

"I thought so, but like the guy is hockey twenty-four seven. There's no way he's going to be thinking about getting laid."

"That's disappointing."

"He's about the only one that I'd give you permission to fuck, only because I know it would be impossible for you to accomplish, even given all your talents." You could hear the mischievous tone in his voice.

"Hmmm, are you willing to bet on that?"

"What? Like bet, you'll fuck Crosby in the bubble?"

"Yeah." Did it really sound like such an unattainable accomplishment?

"What's the wager?"

"Winner flies out when this whole COVID shit is done and is the other's sex slave for twenty-four hours."

"Oh, you are on, baby. I can already see you handcuffed to my bed in some skimpy lingerie." He cackled at the thought and it fueled your resolve to win this bet.

"Don't be so sure about that."

"And how am I to know that you actually slept with him?"

Well, this would be tricky. "Well, it's not like I'm videoing it."

"No, but that gives me ideas for when I win." Maybe you should be rethinking this gamble.

"What do you want his underwear?"

"Nah, you could get that in the laundry. But I'm sure you could sneak a pic of him sleeping." God that sounded creepy but if it meant you had Ty as your slave for a day, it'd be worth it and you'd never show it to anyone else but him and even then you weren't going to send it to him, though he didn't need to know that now.

"Ok, it's a bet then."

"Too bad we can't kiss on it."

"Oh, you'll be doing more than kissing when I win, Seguin." Mentally you started packing sexy outfits to take into the bubble with you while thinking of all the things you'd have Tyler do the next time you saw him. "On that note, I better get my ass to work and make this hotel ready for these guys."

"Fine, I'll let you go as long as you promise to FaceTime me at some point during this bubble thing."

"I'm sure I'll have a night open for you at some point." You teased.

"Woman, you better."

"No worries Ty, you're still my main man; when you're in town."

"That's right baby, good luck."

"Thanks for all the info, Ty. We'll catch up soon and good luck in the playoffs."

You were just about to hang up when you heard him yell. "Don't forget my titty picture."

All you could do was shake your head and click end call, though you being a woman of your word, you snapped a quick pic and sent it off to him; to which he responded with a drool face emoji.

The next couple of weeks were a literal whirlwind as you moved into the hotel's presidential suite and got things ready. Beds were moved out so that some rooms that had two queens now had one king in them. The hotel was disinfected from top to bottom. If felt like you were wearing a hazmat suit all the time during this process. A week before the players arrived the NHL staff did, making sure everything was in order and making sure you had things set up for daily COVID testing. Of course, you had everything well in hand and organized per their instructions, though with a few tweaks that made the process more efficient. Overall, they seemed impressed with everything that you had done.

All that preparation lead up to the big day, July 26th, when the teams moved in. The league had them spread out so that no two teams were checking in at that same time. Tampa Bay was the first in as they traveled the furthest. "You look nervous. Why are you nervous?" Carly's voice came up from behind you as you saw the bus pulling in through the gates.

"There's a lot riding on this Car, and if anything goes wrong; you know it's going to be my head that rolls."

"You're going to do great; this whole thing is going to be smooth like a bubble." She started to giggle. "See what I did there…bubble." You rolled your eyes at your friend but did let out a little snort of laughter at her pun. "Well, here they come."

You straightened your jacket and smoothed down your skirt, before throwing your mask up to go meet your first arrivals. "Gentlemen, welcome to Hotel X." You tried to speak a little louder than normal hoping the mask didn't muffle your words. "We're excited to have you all here. I'm (Y/N) manager here during your stay, anything you need, feel free to call me any time of day." More of the guys filtered in while you spoke to Coach Cooper and a few of the players.

"Anytime huh?" you heard someone mumble in the background and a couple of the guys snickered. It was hard not to roll your eyes as you knew they were focusing on them with your face partially covered. Someone else said, "She can manage me anytime." That was until someone cleared their throat, effectively silencing them.

"Now if you'll follow me, let's get you all checked in." Tables lined with a welcome packet and lanyard with their ID on it, were off to the side and you were able to shuffle them through with pretty good speed, then sent them off to their rooms before they had to head to testing. Your information was inside every packet, in case you were needed at any point during their stay. It seemed like you no sooner got them in and the area disinfected then the next team, the Capitals, were pulling in, and so the day went on until all five teams were safely ensconced in the hotel. Thankfully you made it through that process without any problems, even though the Bruins flight was late and the Flyers were pulling in right as you got the last players through.

It wasn't until dinner, that you encountered your first dilemma, getting a text message from Alexis, who was coordinating the meals. It was a simple message, Get to conference room 3. NOW! As fast as your heels could take you, you headed down to where the Capitals were supposed to be having dinner if you remembered the schedule correctly. You never expected to see what you did though when you entered.

#bubble wrapped series #Pittsburgh Penguins fanfiction #Pittsburgh Penguins imagines #Pittsburgh Penguins imagine #Washington Capitals imagine #Boston Bruins imagine #Boston Bruins imagines #Washington Capitals imagines #Philadephia Flyers imagine #Philadephia Flyers imagines #Tampa Bay Lightning imagine #Tampa Bay Lightning imagines

209 notes · View notes

twelvedaysinaugust · 3 years

Note

I suggest you do leave it behind! I did. I still go into my blog to stalk fandom when I get bored, just cus. When I say leave it all behind- I mean leave FANDOM behind , I don’t mean stop being a fan. You CAN still enjoy Louis and his music and his cute personality and his pretty face and how he is on stage, without being a Stan. I saw him in Cincinnati yesterday, best gig I’ve been to in ages! And I think it’ll only get better from here. I saw 1D live in 2013, and that’s something that I will carry with me for life because it’s just such a happy memory, those boys meant everything to teenage me. Tbh, they always will. I even saw Harry in 2017, had a blast. No regrets. I personally dislike him these days(and have for a while) so I just ignore his existence now, don’t get involved in any rad or larry drama, even if I was a sort of a rad after being a larrie for 6 years. I was a super hardcore larrie during the band, had a decent size blog and everything. Now looking back… I’m truly not sure if the babygate theory is yk- babygate. Bc I just don’t think it would last this long. Louis claims F as his. But It’s just all so confusing.

Nowadays… fandom just isn’t fun like it used to be. There’s serious discourse on subjects we truly know nothing about. I don’t doubt ALL(larrie, rad, solo harrie/anti Louis, even directioner) blogs are manipulative to an extent. The only part of fandom I partake in is reading fics and, like I said, catching up with Louis (and sometimes Niall) on here. Like you, I know a lot but am certain of very little because louis’ personal life is SO confusing. We don’t know shit. We probably won’t for a very long time. Just wait for LT2 and enjoy that(if it ends up being your music taste), we can’t know the full narrative of the kind of person he truly is, especially w all the fandom theories. He’s a multimillionaire- I’m sure he’ll be fine w less stans and more casual fans. We don’t need to have a parasocial relationship w him.

I don’t think Eleanor is his long term monogamous partner, and I can’t be convinced unless they get married and pop out babies or something. And you’ll never convince me larry wasn’t real at one point… u just won’t. At the very least I’m sold on 2010-2013 larry. His sexuality is also something that confuses me. And larry post 2014 confuses me even more. I hope they are together and happy, and by they I mean Louis and whoever his partner is. If it’s Harry, great! They made it. Good for them. If it’s Eleanor, I’m very confused, but good for them. The details are so convoluted that, no matter what side you’re on, you can’t make conclusions that have no plot holes. And that applies even more to babygate. I’ll always believe Louis is a good person at heart, he’s shown it in the smallest and simplest of ways. He’s never shown to be the type to do bad things for fame or do bad things w/o reason, even if he’s not perfect, I’m certain of that. But I also don’t know the full extent of anything in his personal life. Especially his paternity and relationship w his son. And tbh - idc anymore. I wish everyone a good and happy life as long as they deserve it. And i will simply buy/ listen/ support a career if I think it’s quality work. 4/5 solos(sorry Liam) are quality work. And yes, even if I dislike Harry, I stream some of his songs bc they’re good songs w next level production. Even if 1D weren’t such decent boys, I would’ve still seen them in concert, cus midnight memories and four slapped. It’s so much better when you seperate the art from the artist, believe me, you’ll be thankful when you leave fandom behind! I’d tell this to larries and some rads even, but we both know they don’t listen.

Thank you for taking the time to send this. Everything, everything you said resonated. I wish you all the best.

4 notes · View notes

neoheros · 4 years

Text

— happy pride everybody!!! i’m gonna be going on a semi hiatus since i’ve been seeing writing as more of a chore rather than a hobby lately. june is an important month for me and i really want to take time to treat myself correctly! i’m probably gonna come back every once in a while when i feel like writing but other than that please don’t feel ignored !!

— i’m gonna be linking down below my favorite writers and pieces that deserve recognition and love because the way they write just absolutely stuns me!!

works i’d give a limb to read again for the first time because of the way it was written !!

sensitive by @writingbakery : tamaki amajiki x reader, smut — this stole my heart, when i say that i reread it over and over again because it just dripped in emotion and talent !!

the baby-sitters club by @kiyasuno : iwaizumi hajime x reader, fluff — this was the first thing i read from rosie and it absolutely stole my heart. she wrote it so well and i still take the time to reread when i’m feeling down !!

jealous boys with a s/o as a cheerleader by @volleychumps : akaashi, kuroo, kageyama, iwaizumi x reader, fluff — i loved reading this so much, it had me laughing and smiling so fricken hard !! the content was a 100/10 !!

sidekick by @jackrrabbit : dabi, shigaraki x reader, smut — uhm reading this was an actual ride like holy crap thank you for the butterflies ?? ahahahaha i will have dreams about this for weeks !! the way this was written stole my heart too like omfg ????

antisocial socialites by @plusultrawritings : todoroki x reader, fluff — i am a simp for the entire concept of this and honestly when i reread it to analyze the writing i? my heart. it’s yours now. you wrote this !! so WELL !!

giggling while kissing hcs by @cutietobio : yamaguchi, tsukishima, kageyama, kuroo, lev x reader, fluff/suggestive — i LOVED reading this so fricken much !!! this was so fun and happy and yet so adorable at the same time ?? chefs kisses for you madame !

at arrival by @heroprose : katsuki bakugo x reader, fluff — THIS OMFGWISJ i’m really fricken sure that this is still my favorite piece to have ever read ??? i just love how xue wrote this and i’ve fallen for every letter that she types. talent at its finest !!!!!

tiktok au by @burnedbyshoto : bakugo x reader, fluff — two things; the content and the way it was written !! i sound like a broken record but holy crap, this was written so well and so beautifully ?? the content itself is a chefs kiss on its own but i’m a sucker for well written hcs and !!! you served !!!

kenma as a boyfriend hcs by @babiekeiji : kenma kozume x reader, fluff — probably one of the firsts i’ve read when i started stabbing haikyuu and oh my god ?? i still get butterflies when i think about it !! it’s so pretty and soft !!

boy, do i wanna take you home by @shoutotodorokiisicyhot : aizawa x reader, fluff — i fell in LOVE when i read this like first of all the way you worded it was already heartwarming enough but then the content itself made me fall for aizawa even more !!

impossible year by @bokunokangae : tamaki amajiki x reader, fluff — this made me feel on a different level ??? the sentences ?? the simplicity ????? holy ???? written in a way that’s been engraved in my heart because it is just so fricken beautiful !!

writers who made me fall in love with every word that they type

@dorkyama — remy’s got a way with words that make everything she writes an absolute wonder to read ! her content has always been a personal favorite and i will never forget how talented she is when it comes to structuring sentences !!

@kozukens — mui’s an actual dream. when i tell you that she can turn anything into something beautiful and poetic, i mean it ! her writing sends chills down my spine almost always and it’s just so gorgeously written that it assures you of how pretty her mind must be.

@kiyasuno — rosie’s way of writing has always entrapped me in a way where i’m left in awe ?? she can deliver an entire story with such elegance that you’re gonna want to reread the entire thing over and over again ?? that is raw talent.

@heroprose — xue has mastered the art of simplicity and elegance ! she inspired me to make this blog and every letter that she types will always make me shudder because her writing has a knack of being so beautiful that it sends chills down my spine. i adore every single one of her works !!

@jojosmilktea — jojo is so talented especially in ways where she wants to convey the story in the most beautiful sentences. her tamaki content will always be the ones i choose to reread when i’m sad and it’ll always hit different because !!! it’s so beautiful ???

@chenle — ANNA OMFG ,, hi i don’t think you know since i changed my user since then but i’m the one who told you that my friend and i would discuss your works on a daily because it’s just so amazing ??? your writing has got me through some shit and i will always idolize the way you write since it’s just so fricken pretty !!

@wakaitoshi — kale’s writing is so gorgeous, i can’t think of another word to describe it. she’s mixed her sentences with elegance and beauty that it’ll encase you in how well written it is !!

@haikyuu-ink — yuki’s way of writing drips of emotion and gentleness? in a way, i think that it’s best to read her stuff when you want to feel, she’s the best in that area!

@babiedeku — marianne has the prettiest pass time drabbles in the world. they’re mixed with funny and fluffy dialogues that i’ll always adore!!

@lceiji — rae is my go to for akaashi fics and she never fails on serving !!! truly one of my favorites since her style of writing has always left me breathless !!!

@lcaita — kai has my favorite long shots and they’re the ones i save to read when i’m all snuggled up in bed ! her talent lies in the way she describes scenarios in detail and it always leaves me awestruck !

@k-nma — li just started out writing but her akaashi post has rendered me amazed !! the way she has a direct flow in sentences and word use makes my heart flutter and the content itself was a dream !!

@hqprotectionsquad — lara’s content has always been 100/10 ! she writes for both bnha and haikyuu and everything she puts out just gets me head over heels !! talent !!!

@kenmagi — riza’s entire blog is just so gorgeous, i’m always in awe of it ! her writing is simple and direct to the point but she delivers it with such cuteness, my heart flutters !!

@kaidasen — liz’s range goes from amazingly structured long fics to comedic and funny fake texts !! whatever she puts out is always enough to get me smiling !!

@t-amajiki — gere’s my go to for nsfw fics !!! she’s so talented in means of capturing the readers attention and giving them butterflies !!! it’s a talent and honey, she is dripping in it !!

@starboybokuto — zade is as elite as it can get !! i love her nsfw hcs, they always get butterflies in my tummy and when i tell you that she’s basically mastered it by now, i mean it !! she’s the standard for a well written nsfw fic and i stand by that !

@b0kuto — emi’s writing drips of emotion and the best part is that you can tell !! her content is riddled with feelings and poetry and i’ve always enjoyed going through them especially when the day i had felt in need of something missing.

@agaassi — aera has the fluffiest headcanons in the world pleaseee!! her works were made for softness and they always leave me smiling !!! it’s just so precious and adorable and ahhh <3

@prettysetter — rin’s writing is so fricken !!! PRETTY !!! she writes so simply and yet you see how much emotion she conveys ????? i love love reading through her works because they always get me catching feelings !! chefs kiss !!!!

@tsutsukki — aster’s writing is so !! FRICKEN !! delicious !!!!! she writes with so much intention yet delivers with utmost direct simplicity ?? she’s an absolute dream to read about !!

lovely content creators that i’m looking forward to binging because everything about their account and personality just scream talent ♡

@miyuswriting — bro i’m sorry but like i’ve been eyeing your masterlist for a while and i’m so excited to indulge in it cause i already read one of your stuff and the way you write just made me feel things !!!

@sushij1ma — i read your shoto fic and it just :( absolutely stoke my heart and made it do things !!! i’m so excited for what more you’re gonna offer and i just know that it’s gonna be a fucking DELICACY !

@gogohaikyuu — hiii, your masterlist looks delicious and i read snippets of your kuroo stuff because kuroo and i ?? want you to know that you made me catch FEELINGS ??? the talent !!!!

@indigohitoshi — babie !! i’ve only read few of your stuff and i can’t wait to indulge myself in them but from the little amount of what i’ve read from you it is no doubt that you are so talented :( i love how you spin words and sentences !! it’s so beautiful !

@daichoo — i read your dating headcanons and the way you wrote for kuroo ??? i ??? hello, i have feelings ??? your writing is just an entire level of chefs kiss and i can’t wait to binge your masterlist !! ( but fr dude the kuroo bit in your hcs got me in love >:/ )

@tobiosbabie — soo !!!! the way you wrote that tsukishima fic has stolen my heart and you have yet to return it !! expect me in your notifs soon because i can’t resist binging your entire blog since you just write so !! fricken beautifully !!

@jayy-keii — i love your content so fricken much, words will never be enough !! as a fellow swiftie and tsukki stan, i am sure when i say that your entire blog is dripping in both beauty and talent ??? holy crap dude :0

@wisteriarain — you have the prettiest blog :( i’m so into how you write that whenever i’m feeling down, your work is the first to come to mind !! the day you write for kuroo is the day i crumble to the ground ! please you’re so :( talented !!!!

@tobiomlk — YOUR DRABBLES ARE SO !! PERFECT !! i can’t wait to read more of them and honestly ?? i don’t really read smaus but yours just !!! captured me ???? chefs kiss x300

@tiny-giant — YOUR KUROO HC GOT ME ON THE GROUND. are you kidding me? right in front of my salad? you write so prettily and the entire time i read it i was squealing and shouting like?? please i cannot wait to burn through your blog, i’m just so in love !!!!!

@towkken — bro i know you’re not a writing blog but i am obsessed with your art ???? it is — fricken gorgeous !!!! your style is so pretty and it’s unlike any i’ve seen and omfg ?? never stop ??????

@sugawaria — another art account that doesn’t get enough hype and recognition !!! please you have one of the prettiest art i’ve ever seen !! i could stare at it all day and my heart would explode !!! you’re so talented it’s unreal !!!

the actual love of my life/s that deserve nothing but adoration and gratitude because they’re the kindest people on earth.

@iwhyzuumi — i love you. that’s it. you’re so fucking gorgeous and kind and i love you forever ! no words head empty !

@kuroowuwu — you’re my favorite kuroo stannie to share headcanons with :( you’re so kind and precious and warm ?? ugh kuroo is too lucky to have you !!!

@spicyness — i’m so sorry i’m the worst at holding conversations but omfg i adore you ???? you’ve got the prettiest content on my feed and i can’t believe that you’re my friend :( you’re so kind i can’t even start !!!!

@we-mentally-unstable — thank you for the eternal support :( you can’t imagine how much i adore you for keeping up with what i write !!!

@milkykageyama — i ADORE YOU ?? flat out. you can’t even fathom how much i appreciate you :( thank you so much for every note you’ve given me and ugh i just want to hug you :((

@saltedcaramelsss — winnie !! you’re my absolute best friend !! i’m so lucky to have someone like you and i’m sorry that i suck at replying so much :( i just want you to know that i love you and i’m so grateful for the love you give me !!

this was definitely longer than i expected but everyone i mentioned above has been a personal idol of mine and i’m thankful to be mutuals with some of them !! please give them the same amount of love and kindness you’ve given me and i cannot thank you enough for getting me this far !!

thank you for 1.5k and i’ll see you when i see you ! happy pride month everyone ! spread love and kindness !! ♡

#tpwk!#my inbox is always open!!#thank you for the kindness everyones shown me !!#heres a kiss for every single one of you !!!#kuroo’s gf stuff

286 notes · View notes

pogueshomecoming · 4 years

Text

Bruises (part two) x JJ Maybank

requested? yes: there were multiple! I can’t find them all on my blog now but thank you to everyone who asked for this. I hope it meets your expectations!

the original request, “jj gets drunk and starts being aggresive but when he’s sober he sees the injuries he has made on you and asks where they have come from (not knowing he was the one) and john b/ the other pogues have to tell him. :))))) (@jjjmaybank)

fill out this survey to join my taglist(s), here’s my masterlist, and requests are open

warnings: crying, angst, but also soft toward the end

word count: 2.5k

here’s part one icymi! idk how you could’ve since I haven’t shut up about it

After that day you left JJ on the ground, you distanced yourself from the Pogues. It felt like the right thing to do, considering you weren’t around before you started dating him. It also broke your heart because the four of them had become your family.

Without them, you became more independent. You ran newspaper routes in Figure 8 to keep the lights on in the little shack you called home. It was good for you to establish a routine.

Still, there were those days that you pedaled a little faster past the Maybank residence, so you didn’t have to think about JJ for too long. You don’t hate him for what he did, but you know he does. It put you in a hard position.

Knowing that you’re the only person who could convince JJ that he wasn’t terrible, and knowing you aren’t ready to face him caused emotional turmoil. So, you had to not think about him.

Occasionally, you’d see the Pogues around, minus JJ. You never stayed long enough to have a conversation, but you always acknowledged their presence. JJ was their friend first, they needed to be there for him before you’d think about going back to them. Taking yourself out of the group eliminated them from choosing between you and JJ, it was simple.

Until it wasn’t simple anymore. You’d called in an order at the Wreck after paying your bills to treat yourself. It was early, right as the Wreck was opening when you got there. The plan was to get your food and go home because spending time alone had come to be your favorite thing recently.

Entering the restaurant, you go straight to the bar to let them know you were here. Only after that do you look around, spotting Pope, Kie, and John B sitting still a table in the corner. They’re already looking at you, but grabbing your food and going isn’t an option because the lady hasn’t brought it back yet.

So, you walk over, giving them a smile and a wave. “Hey, guys.”

“Hi, Y/N. You doing okay?” Kie asks, but something is off with them. Pope’s eyes are focused on something behind you. John B and Kie keep cutting their eyes to the side.

“Yeah, I’m good. How about you?” You ask any of them that will answer, looking between the three.

“Uh, yeah, we’re good too. That’s good, glad to hear.” John B says, but it’s rushed, and he’s not looking at you now.

“What is going on? Are you guys okay?” You twist a little to glance around the dining room. Nothing seems out of the ordinary until you turn back to the table, looking at the empty chair that your hands were resting on. There was a cup on the table in front of it.

“Oh, you’re expecting someone.” You say quietly, and suddenly they’re all looking at you again.

“JJ is in the bathroom.” Pope blurts, causing Kie and John B to look at him.

“What? She should know before he comes out, right?” Obviously, they’d talked about this situation before.

“I’m on my way out, it’s not a big deal. It was good to see you guys.” You wave them off, but Kie stops you from turning around.

“You don’t have to rush off, that’s not what we want. We just-“

“I know, Kie. It’s okay. There’s no sides or anything, but I’m going to go anyway. See you.”

You give a small smile before turning around. The smile quickly fades when you’re now standing in front of your ex-boyfriend. Suddenly, your palms are sweaty, and your heart has moved to your ears. Your emotions are overwhelming you because you can’t get yourself to move or say anything.

JJ physically looks good, he looks like he always did. However, his face has softened upon realizing that it’s you. His eyes are starting to get shiny, and his brows are pinched together ever so slightly. To top it all off, the corners of his mouth seem to be pulled down toward the floor by an invisible string.

“Y/N, your order is ready.”

JJ flinches, hearing someone say your name. You don’t say anything, you step around him. Every ounce of his energy went into not reaching out for you, but that was all he wanted to do.

You grab the paper sack off of the counter and immediately exit the restaurant, afraid that you were going to suffocate if you didn’t. You’re panting by the time you reach your bike, setting the food into the little basket, and swinging your leg over the seat.

Seeing JJ confirmed all of your worst fears. He hadn’t forgiven himself or even thought about it. JJ couldn’t look at you without being reminded of what he did to you.

But the worst fear? The worst part? You realized you still weren’t ready to talk to him. Feeling yourself freeze up in front of him was exactly how it felt when you were tensing, your muscles to prepare for his blow. You hated yourself for that because he didn’t mean it. JJ wouldn’t do it again, you didn’t have to talk to him to know that.

So instead of enjoying your celebratory meal, you threw it away and cried.

Three days later, you’re holding your bike while standing beside it, looking at the Maybank house in front of you.

Your hands are shaky as you lay the bike in the grass. JJ’s dirt bike is in the front, but his dad’s van is not. If there was any time to do this, it’s now.

The front door is opened slightly, so you don’t knock as you enter. Trash litters almost every surface, but that was normal around here. Music is coming from behind JJ’s bedroom door.

Another deep breath. This time you do knock, but you don’t wait for an answer.

JJ is lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His chest rises and falls slowly with his breathing. For a second, you think he’s asleep, but then his chest expands as he inhales harder. That’s when you realize he’s crying.

“JJ?” You ask softly, you’re still in the doorway with the doorknob in your hand.

He sits up immediately, wiping at the tears that streak his face. That’s not what you’re worried about, you’re worried about the dozen bruises all over his upper body. His lower abdomen is so bruised you can’t tell what color his skin is supposed to be.

You gasp, covering your hands with your mouth. JJ follows your gaze, looking over his body, but he shrugs your reaction off.

“Don’t Y/N. This is what I deserve for what I did to you.” JJ shakes his head. His voice is shaky and barely audible.

“What on earth are you talking about, JJ?” You don’t move. For some reason, your feet are planted right where they are.

“I’ve been picking fights with my dad. Purposely getting him worked up so he’ll hit me. I want to feel the pain I caused you for every day of my life.” JJ can’t look at you. He can hardly speak he’s so upset.

You tilt your head back, looking at the ceiling for just a moment while you think. A sob that leaves JJ’s mouth is what pulls you back, and even though you’re still trying to figure out what to say, your feet start moving toward him.

He looks up at you just as you open your arms and take the last step you need to reach him. As you close yourself around him, JJ doesn’t try to fight you, he accepts you.

The two of you stay like that for a few minutes, at least, each of you squeezing with a good and constant amount of pressure as if you’re afraid to ever let go. Eventually, though, you gather your thoughts, and you’re ready to talk to him.

You pull your arms out from underneath his and move your hands to his face, making him look at you.

“Listen to me, JJ Maybank. I want this to get through your thick and stubborn skull, got it?” You wait for him to nod before you continue, blinking the tears out of your eyes. “You are not terrible because of a mistake you made. It doesn’t define you, it doesn’t mean you deserve punishment, it only means that you had a lapse of judgment.”

“But I hurt you. I can’t forgive myself for that.” JJ’s blue eyes are so pretty when he’s crying, but you like them much more when he’s smiling.

“Yeah. You did hurt me, JJ, but I forgive you. I’m not excusing your actions, I’m not saying it was right, or that I’ll forgive you if it happens again, but I’m saying that I forgive you. Do you want to know why?”

He looks back to his lap but nods. “Because even though you hurt me, you’re the one that I wanted to heal me.”

“Really?” JJ makes eye contact with you again, and for the first time, he doesn’t look completely miserable. His frown is a little less droopy.

“Because I believe with my whole heart that you’d do anything in your power to take back your actions and prevent even the slightest chance it could happen again.”

JJ reaches up, cupping your face in his hands. “I would, and I am. I don’t go to the keggers anymore, I don’t even help John B and Pope pick it up. No more kook parties for me, either. I’m trying to do the right thing, baby, I really am.”

He’s full-on sobbing again as he clings to you.

“I know you are, sweetheart. I never doubted you, I just needed some time.”

You hold him for a little bit, rocking him back and forth until he’s calmed down. After his breathing has returned to normal, he pulls you onto the bed with him and lays you down.

“Can... can I see?” He asks, nodding toward your torso. The bruises weren’t there anymore, but you give him permission anyway.

Slowly, JJ rolls your shirt up, starting at the bottom. He stops when he meets your bra, tucking it under so it’ll stay out of his way. His breath fans over your body as he observes you for a few moments, and you watch him carefully.

JJ leans over you, opening his nightstand and digging around for a moment. When he finally finds what he wants, you recognize it as a pen.

“What are you doing?”

“Can you show me where they were?”

Even though they’re gone, you remember where exactly where they were. The image the mirror reflected the day after has stayed with you. So you trace the odd shapes with your fingertips, and JJ follows your finger with the point of the pen.

The one that used to be on your shoulder is the last one he draws, then he sits back for a few minutes. JJ’s eyes rake over your body, but not at all in a sexual way. You can tell he’s letting the negative thoughts back in, so you grab his hand to squeeze.

JJ leans down and presses a kiss to each spot. He lets his lips linger each time, giving you chills from feeling his breath. Your heart swells at the gesture, and tears prick your eyes once again. Finally, he locks eyes with you again.

“Now you should go. You can’t come back until the ink is gone, and no scrubbing it off in a day. I can’t let you forgive me yet, it’s too soon for that. I didn’t do anything to deserve redemption.” JJ has a bad habit of mumbling when he’s upset, so it’s a good thing you’ve known him long enough to understand what he’s saying.

He rolls your shirt back down to its place, and you sigh. “I don’t agree with you, JJ, but if it’s what you want, then I understand.”

You watch him roll away from you, his way of finishing the conversation. With a sigh, you get up and make your way to the door. An idea comes to mind before you’re out of his room.

Turning on your heel, you speak, your voice strong and firm to let him know you’re not playing around. “No, JJ, I’m not letting you decide when I forgive you. This should be on my terms. Come with me.”

One hand is outstretched to him, waiting for him to roll out of bed and accept it. After a few moments, he does. JJ’s movements are slow because of his soreness, and you can tell he’s trying to make it seem like he’s not hurting.

Your boyfriend places his hand in yours, knowing he can’t argue with you, so he follows without a word. However, you don’t take him far. You lead him down the hall and into the bathroom.

JJ shuts the door behind you two as you turn on the sink, letting the water run until it’s warm and grabbing a washcloth from the cabinet below. You push yourself up onto the counter next to the sink and hand him the rag, then you pull your shirt over your head.

He watches your shirt fall to the floor, turning the washcloth over in his hand. When JJ looks up at you, he’s got that tortured look on his face. The one where his eyebrows are pulled together just enough to create a line between them. The one where his eyes are red and brimming with tears. The one where the corners of his mouth are pulled into a permanent frown.

“Wash the ink off.” You lift your arms, making the marks on your skin more visible.

“What?”

You take his hand and put it under the faucet. “Because you said you haven’t done anything for redemption. I’ve spent weeks thinking about this, about what happened. It was hard, but I came to terms with it, and I forgive you, JJ. That doesn’t do us any good if you can’t forgive yourself, so I need you to wash the ink off. Show yourself that I’m healed, and we can move forward.”

Tears well up in both of your eyes, and slowly, JJ starts gently wiping the ink on your skin away. You reach up every now and then to wipe his tears off of his cheeks, each time you see a corner of his mouth lift in a small smile to show his appreciation.

When he’s finished, JJ places his hands on the edge of the sink and leans his weight into them. You think maybe he’s trying to hide that his hands are shaking, but the closer you look at him, his whole body is shaking.

Gently, you tug on his elbow until he’s standing between your legs again. All you can do is take him into your arms and let him cry. You did what you could, and the rest is up to him. Maybe things won’t be the same between you for a little bit, but that’s okay.

The only thing you can guarantee him is that you’ll be there while his bruises heal.

thank you for reading! don’t forget to reblog if you liked it or send me feedback :)

jj maybank taglist + ones who asked to be tagged: @wlwkie , @jjjmaybank , @shawnssongs , @hopelesswritingxd , @newsiestrash123 , @millie-753 , @thatsonobx , @jjtheangel , @obxkie, @baileysb1tch, @ohbx , @babysbestlife , @psychicforest , @fanficscuziranout , @maebanks , @diverdown06, @pogue-writings , @maybankdreams , @thelocalpogue , @maybe-maybanks , @dpaccione , @teenwaywardasgardian , @extratragic , @pixelated-pogues , @kitluvs1 , @a-brooding-bird , @ilovejjmaybank , @damonsalvawhore27 , @beth-winchester21 , @danicarosaline , @sunwardsss , @outerbanksbro , @collecting-stories , @thebendslikebendover , @maybebanks , @jjxobx

(also just want to say that I posted part one a little over a month ago and I only had one person on my taglist, now look at all of you! thank you 🥺)

175 notes · View notes