#I am WINNING (the horrors weigh on me)

[purgemarchlockdown]

Questions translated by @/milgram_en over on twitter!

07:

Q: If you had to make one of the prisoners part of your family, who would you choose? A: Maybe Amane, because in my family children were the most distant

Note: @/doctorbunny has said that:

To be clear when Kazui says 'distant' here, he's saying うちの家庭には子供が一番縁遠かったからさ 一番縁遠 = most absent/missing/alien/weakly connected/ It sounds a bit weird in English so I'd say like "Because children were the number one thing missing from my household"

08:

Q: If you had to make one of the prisoners part of your family, who would you choose? A: Mahiru Shina. Her innate goodness might have brought the two of us closer, maybe.

[quinzzelx]

Shadows and Starlight

Part 2

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: It's Starfall and with Starfall come some unpleasant memories. But your excitement to finally see Azriel again wins you over. Catching up with your family, you find that the evening is approaching fast. What happens when Azriel returns and you finally see each other again?

Chapter 01 // Chapter 03

Word Count: 8.8K Well, this is a lengthy one.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, Trauma, Flashbacks of Torture, Mentions of SA, A lot of Family bonding, Angst, Teeth rotting Fluff, and Sexual content. I have not proofread this yet, since I wanted to get this up as quickly as possible. A/N: Oh my god, GUYS!!! I am overwhelmed by the positivity and love you showered the first chapter with! You have honestly no idea how happy this makes me. I'm so glad people seem to enjoy it and I truly hope that this part will do the first one justice. Feel free to comment and share your thoughts. Feedback is always appreciated! Also, come chat with me in my inbox!

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As you wake up on Starfall morning, a sense of weariness washes over you, the remnants of a night spent tossing and turning, haunted by dreams of the past and the phantom pains that still linger in your scars. Despite the soft caress of your satin nightgown against your skin, every movement sends a twinge of discomfort coursing through your body, a reminder of the battles you've fought.

Tracing your fingertips over the pale, jagged carvings that mar your stomach, you're transported back to the horrors of Amarantha's trap, the allure of her twisted game pulling you deeper into her web with each passing moment. Rhys had begged you to stay home, his instincts warning him that something wasn't right about this meeting, this gathering, but something inside you knew that you couldn't sit idly by while he faced danger alone. And so you insisted on accompanying him, despite the protests and the danger it posed to you both. There were moments of doubt, fleeting glimpses of regret that whispered in the recesses of your mind.

Especially in the darkness of those colder, harsher nights. Nights when even the simple act of opening your eyes felt like an insurmountable task, weighed down not just by the heavy iron chains that bound you to the ground, but by the imposing weight of impending death that hung heavy on your shoulders.

Turning onto your side, you wince as you feel the numerous scars on your back, traces of the lashings you sustained at Amarantha's hands. She was cruel in her efforts to use you as a tool to hurt Rhys further, inflicting pain upon pain in her relentless quest for power. But despite the physical scars that mar your skin, it's the emotional scars that run the deepest, the memories of your shared trauma with Rhys threatening to pull you back into the depths of despair.

Your wounds festered, infected by the cruel hands of Amarantha, who took perverse pleasure in keeping them open and inflicting new ones upon you, layering pain upon pain with each lash of her whip. Faebane slowed your healing, leaving you vulnerable to the biting cold that seeped into your bruised body, each breath a struggle against the suffocating grip of agony. On one such night, Amarantha's rage burned brighter than usual, her fury directed solely at you. Bound naked to her bedpost, your emaciated form contorted in unnatural ways, the strain and angle of your bindings causing one shoulder to scream in protest. She carved vile curses into the soft flesh of your stomach, taunting you with each cruel stroke of her blade.

And then Rhys entered, his horror evident in the fleeting glimpse you caught of his face before the mask of stoicism fell back into place. But his appearance ignited something within Amarantha, sparking a twisted idea that would haunt you for years to come. Forced to watch as Rhys administered the next lashes, forced to endure the searing pain as he used his Deamanti powers on you, you felt a sliver of relief amidst the agony as his apologies echoed in your mind, his powers soothing the raw edges of your suffering. He tried numbing your pain, taking away the searing heat that your wounds imposed. But Amarantha wasn't satisfied with just inflicting physical pain – she wanted to break you completely, to strip away every last shred of dignity and humanity. And so she made you watch as she rode Rhys, fucking him without hesitation, with favor, your body still bound to the bedpost, blood dripping down your exposed skin, your chest heaving with shallow breaths. She got off on it, the hot tears running down your face, leaving streaks in the dried blood on your face. Even in your state then, your eyes beheld a promise of death. But never had you felt this helpless, having to watch as Amarantha used Rhys as her personal sex-slave. Rhys was your family, your High Lord! And all you could do was watch.

It was a night of unspeakable horror, one of the darkest moments of your life. And yet, amidst the despair, there was a glimmer of hope – She was this mad because of Feyre, because she wanted to break the curse. As you lay there, on the floor of your cell, embracing the cold arms of death, Rhys hurriedly came barging in. He knelt beside you on the cold stone floor, tears streaming down his face as he cradled your head in his hands, offering what little comfort he could in the face of such unimaginable pain.

"Gods, what have I done?" Rhys whispered, his voice choked with sorrow and regret. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I never wanted this for you. I never wanted any of this." His words were like a knife to your heart, each apology cutting deeper than the last as you struggled to cling to consciousness. "Rhys," you managed to rasp, your voice barely a whisper. "Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault." But he shook his head, his tears falling freely now as he pressed his forehead against yours. "I should have protected you. I should have never let this happen to you."

You reached up, weakly grasping his hand as you tried to offer him what little comfort you could. "It's not your fault," you repeated, your voice growing fainter with each passing moment. "I love you, Rhys. Please... don't blame yourself."

But Rhys's anguish only seemed to deepen at your words, his sobs wracking his body as he pleaded with you to hold on, to fight against the darkness that threatened to consume you both. "Please," he begged, his voice raw with emotion as he called your name. "Don't leave me. I can't bear to lose you. Please, stay with me." And as you felt the cold embrace of death drawing ever closer, you clung to his hand, drawing strength from the love and warmth that radiated from him. "I'll try," you rasped, your voice barely audible now. "I'll try, Rhys. I promise."

And with those final words, you drifted into darkness, leaving Rhys alone with his grief and his guilt, his tears mingling with yours as he prayed to the Mother for a miracle, for a chance to make things right.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, you try to calm your mind, to push aside the memories that threaten to overwhelm you. Today is supposed to be a day of celebration, a time to put aside the pain of the past and focus on the joy of the present.

As someone knocks at the bedroom door, you groan, burying your face in the pillow, exhausted and emotionally drained from the tumultuous memories that still linger in your mind. Calling out for the person to enter, you brace yourself for the intrusion, the weight of the world pressing down upon your shoulders. To your surprise, it's Rhys who enters, his presence like a balm to your weary soul. As if sensing the chaos within you, he seems equally stressed by the preparations for the day, Nyx cradled in his arms. Your eyes soften when they land on the toddler, his small wings flapping excitedly as he spots you, extending his arms out in a silent plea to be held. Rhys sits down beside you on the bed, a gentle look on his face as he takes in your tired form. Nyx immediately pounces on you, his laughter filling the room with infectious joy. Despite your exhaustion, you can't help but smile at the sight of the young boy, his innocence a welcome distraction from the weight of the world.

"Hey there, little one," you murmur, scooping Nyx into your arms and showering him with kisses. He giggles in delight, his tiny hands reaching out to touch your face with a sense of wonder. Rhys watches the exchange with a soft smile, his violet eyes filled with warmth and affection. "I thought Nyx might help cheer you up," he says gently, his voice laced with concern. "It's been a rough morning, hasn't it?" You nod, unable to find the words to express the whirlwind of emotions that have been swirling inside you since you woke up. But as you hold Nyx close, his laughter echoing in your ears, you feel a sense of peace settle over you, if only for a fleeting moment. Rhys leans closer, his hand finding yours on the bed, offering silent support. "Are you okay?" he asks softly, concern etched in his eyes.

You manage a weak smile, squeezing his hand in return. "I'm... trying to be," you admit, your voice tinged with exhaustion. "It's just... a lot, you know?" He nods understandingly, his thumb tracing comforting circles on the back of your hand. "I know," he murmurs, his gaze softening. "But we'll get through this, together. I promise." The weight of his words hangs heavy in the air, a silent reminder of the bond that binds you both, even in the darkest of times. "Thank you, Rhys," you whisper, your voice barely above a whisper. "For everything."

He smiles, a gentle expression that lights up his features. "Anytime," he says softly, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. "We're in this together, remember? No matter what."

As you settle into a more comfortable rhythm, the conversation shifts to lighter topics, a welcome distraction from the weight of the morning's emotions. "So," Rhys begins, his tone lighter now, "did you hear about Cassian's little mishap with the ladder this morning?" You raise an eyebrow, a hint of amusement dancing in your eyes. "Oh? Do tell," you urge, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. Rhys chuckles, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Well, apparently he thought he could single-handedly take on the task of putting up the decorations," he explains, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "But Feyre and Elain had other ideas."

You laugh at the mental image of Cassian attempting to navigate a ladder while Feyre and Elain guided him from below, their laughter echoing through the halls of the House of Wind. "And then," Rhys continues, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "just as he was reaching for the top, the ladder slipped out from under him, and down he went!" You can't help but giggle at the thought of Cassian tumbling to the ground, his pride wounded but otherwise unharmed. "Poor Cass," you tease, shaking your head in mock sympathy. "I hope he's okay." The Highlord says, his smile widening. "Oh, he's fine," he assures you. "Just a bruised ego, I think."

Before you can respond, Nyx interrupts with a babble of his own, his tiny hands reaching out to grab at Rhys's hair. You laugh, gently untangling Nyx's fingers from Rhys's locks as you listen to the toddler's excited chatter. Rhys grins, his eyes sparkling with affection as he looks down at his son. "I spoke to Azriel yesterday," he says casually, shifting the conversation back to more serious matters. "He should be back today, just in time for Starfall."

You feel a surge of anticipation at the mention of Azriel's return, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of seeing him again after his absence. "That's great news," you reply, trying to keep your voice casual despite the butterflies in your stomach. "I'm sure he'll be relieved to be home." He nods, a knowing glint in his eye. "Oh, I'm sure he will be," he says cryptically, a teasing smile playing at his lips. "After all, there are certain people who have been eagerly awaiting his return."

You roll your eyes, unable to suppress a smile at Rhys's playful teasing. "You're incorrigible," you tease, giving him a playful shove. "But I'm glad Azriel's coming back. It's not the same without him." The conversation ebbs into comfortable silence as you play with the toddler sat on your lap. When you notice Rhys’s eyes glaze over, the violet of his eyes dulling just slightly, you look at him with a cocked eyebrow. “Is our Highlord required somewhere?” You ask with a small smile on your lips. “Yes, I fear duty calls.”

As Rhys leaves with Nyx in tow, a sense of tranquility settles over you, the bustling energy of the morning quieting to a gentle hum. With a sigh of relief, you make your way to the bath, the promise of warm water and solitude beckoning to you like a beacon in the storm.

Sinking into the soothing embrace of the bath, the warmth seeping into your tired muscles and easing the knots of tension that had been building within you. With each passing moment, the cares of the world seem to slip away, replaced by a sense of peace and calm that settles deep within your soul. With each passing moment, you feel yourself growing lighter, the weight of the morning's emotions gradually fading into the background as you focus on the simple pleasure of being present in this moment. Only when the skin on your hands starts to wrinkle, do you decide to leave the comfort of your bath.

After drying off, you quickly set about getting ready for the day ahead. With practiced ease, you slip into your clothes, the fabric smooth against your skin as you dress. You run a brush through your hair, smoothing out any tangles and pulling it back into a simple yet elegant style. With one last glance in the mirror, you nod in satisfaction, a sense of determination settling over you. Today is a new day. Starfall to be exact. You would not let the past control the present.

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As you make your way downstairs, noon is just beginning to unfold, the soft light of the early sun filtering through the windows of the House of Wind. The air is filled with the gentle hum of activity as preparations for the evening's festivities are underway. You take a moment to admire the decorations that Cassian had so painstakingly put up, a fond smile playing at the corners of your lips as you remember his earlier mishap with the ladder. Despite the chaos of it all, there's a sense of excitement building in the air, a unmistakable energy that sets your heart racing with anticipation.

Making your way to where Feyre and Elain were sitting in the kitchen, you exchange greetings with them, falling into easy conversation. The smell of freshly brewed tea fills the air, and you can't help but relax as you sink into a chair at the table. "So, what's on the agenda for today?" Feyre asks, pouring a cup of tea for each of you.

Elain smiles softly, her doe-eyes lighting up with excitement. "I was thinking of spending some time in the gardens," she says. "I've been working on a few new plantings, and I'd love to show them to you." You nod eagerly, honestly intrigued by Elain's passion for gardening. "I'd love to see them," you reply, a genuine smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

Whilst you sip your tea, the conversation turns to lighter topics, and you find yourself laughing and joking with Feyre and Elain. It's moments like these that remind you of why you cherish your time with them. Suddenly, Elain's voice breaks through your thoughts, her tone soft and earnest. "I'm so glad Azriel is returning today," she says, her eyes shining with sincerity. "I've missed him." A pang of jealousy and irritation shoots through you at her words, catching you off guard. You quickly brush it off as simple irritation, unwilling to acknowledge the twinge of envy that lingers in the depths of your chest. Elain, oblivious to your internal turmoil, continues to speak, her words pulling you back into the conversation. "And I've missed you too," she adds, her voice filled with warmth and affection.

You nod, forcing a smile. "Yeah, I missed you too." But inside, you can't help but feel a twinge of envy at the thought of Elain's closeness with Azriel. Before the awkwardness can settle in, however, Elain changes the subject, her eyes lighting up with excitement as she again talks about the new plants she's planted in the gardens of the Riverhouse.

"That reminds me," you say suddenly, a spark of delight igniting within you. Your eyes sparkle as you remember the gift you brought back for Elain, reaching into your pocket and pulling out a small packet of seeds. "I found these at a market stall on the continent and thought of you. They're seeds for a flower called... um...“ you stumble over the name for a moment before recalling it. "They're seeds for a flower called Moonlight Blossoms. I thought they might be a nice addition to your garden."

Elain's eyes widen with delight as she takes the seeds from you, her expression one of pure joy. "Oh, thank you!" she exclaims, her voice filled with genuine appreciation. "I can't wait to plant these in the garden. They're going to be beautiful."

After spending a pleasant morning and noon catching up with Feyre and Elain, you accompany Elain to the garden to see her new plants. The garden is a riot of color and fragrance, and you spend a blissful hour wandering among the flowers and chatting with her about her latest botanical discoveries. As you bid Elain farewell and make your way back inside, you realize that the day has flown by in a rush of activity. You quickly run a few last-minute errands for Starfall, picking up some supplies and making sure everything is in order for the evening's festivities.

Time seems to slip through your fingers like grains of sand as you hurry through the bustling streets of Velaris, the excitement of the day building with each passing moment. Before you know it, the sun is beginning to set, casting a golden glow over the city as evening approaches.

With a sense of urgency, you hurry back to the House of Wind, eager to get ready for the evening ahead. Mor had promised to get ready together, and you don't want to keep her waiting. As you enter your room, the blond is already there, surrounded by an array of dresses and accessories strewn across the bed. She looks up as you enter, a bright smile lighting up her face.

"Hey there, gorgeous!" she greets you, her eyes twinkling with excitement. "Are you ready to get glam for Starfall?" You return her smile, feeling a rush of anticipation at the thought of the evening ahead. "Absolutely," you reply, crossing the room to join her. "I can't wait to see what you've picked out." Mor gestures to the dresses laid out on the bed. "I've narrowed it down to a few options," she says, a mischievous grin playing at her lips. "But I think I already know which one I'm going to choose." You chuckle, knowing that Mor always has a flair for dramatics when it comes to dressing up. "Well, let's see them then," you tease, eager to get started.

Together, you sift through the dresses, examining each one carefully and discussing their merits and drawbacks. There are dresses of every color and style, from sleek and elegant to bold and daring. Finally, Mor settles on a stunning gown in deep maroon red, its flowing skirts and intricate beading catching the light as she holds it up.

"This is the one," she declares, a satisfied smile gracing her features. "What do you think?" You nod in agreement, admiring the dress's beauty. "It's perfect," you reply. "You're going to look absolutely stunning." Mor beams at your praise, clearly pleased with her selection. "Thanks, love," she says, reaching out to give you a quick hug. "Now, let's get you sorted out. I have a feeling you're going to steal the show tonight."

As you slip into the dress that you had bought the day before, a soft sigh escapes your lips, the sensation of the fabric against your skin sending a shiver of delight down your spine. The deep midnight blue hue wraps around you like a lover's embrace, casting an delicate glow that seems to illuminate the room. The neckline plunges low, offering a tantalizing glimpse of your cleavage. With each movement, the dress seems to come alive. Mor's eyes widen in admiration as she takes in your appearance. "Wow," she breathes, her voice filled with genuine awe. "You look absolutely stunning."

A soft smile graces your lips as you meet her gaze "Thank you, Mor," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "I couldn't have found this without your help." She beams at your words, her pride evident in the curve of her lips. "It was my pleasure," she replies, her tone warm and sincere. "But really, the dress suits you perfectly. I almost forgot how it looked on you overnight."

Shortly after she also put on her dress, Mor expertly braids your hair, her nimble fingers weaving intricate patterns, you can't help but admire her skill. With each twist and turn, your hair transforms into a work of art, cascading down your back in elegant waves. You close your eyes, savoring the sensation of her touch, the gentle tugs and pulls lulling you into a state of relaxation. "Your hair is like silk," Mor remarks, her voice filled with admiration. "It's going to look stunning tonight." Once your hair is styled to perfection, Mor moves on to makeup, applying each layer with precision. The dark, alluring makeup enhances your features, accentuating your eyes and highlighting your cheekbones.

Whilst the blond puts the finishing touches on your makeup, you take a moment to admire your reflection. The sultry gaze staring back at you sends a thrill of excitement coursing through your veins, the promise of the evening ahead hanging in the air. "Ready to turn heads?" Mor asks, a playful smirk gracing her lips. "Absolutely," you reply, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Let's make tonight unforgettable."

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As you and Mor descend the grand staircase, the sounds of laughter and music fill the air, signaling the start of the evening's festivities. The House of Wind is alive with energy, the vibrant atmosphere drawing you in as you make your way through the bustling crowd. Mor heads straight for the wine table, her graceful movements drawing the attention of those around her. She expertly pours two glasses, handing one to you with a knowing smile. "To a night to remember," she says, raising her glass in a toast. You clink your glass against hers, a smile playing at the corners of your lips. "To a night to remember," you echo, taking a sip of the rich, velvety wine.

While mingling with the other guests, you can't help but notice the admiring glances and whispered compliments that follow you wherever you go. Cassian whistles at your appearance, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he offers a playful wink. Even Amren, usually reserved and stoic, can't help but be impressed. "Not bad, girl" she remarks in her typical deadpan tone, her lips quirking up in a rare smile. "You look good." While chatting with Cassian, his easy grin and infectious laughter filling the air, you can't help but feel at ease in his presence. He regales you with stories of past Starfall celebrations, each one more outrageous than the last, and you find yourself laughing along with him, caught up in the magic of the moment and the memories.

Amren stands beside him, her sharp gaze surveying the crowd with a mix of curiosity and amusement. She interjects with the occasional dry comment or witty observation, adding her own unique perspective to the conversation. Cassian nudges you playfully, a naughty glint in his eyes. "So, have you seen Az around yet?" he asks, a playful smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

You roll your eyes at his question, knowing full well where he's going with this. "Not yet," you reply with a smirk. "But I'm sure he'll make quite the entrance when he does," you add, your tone dripping with playful sarcasm. Cassian chuckles, his grin widening as he leans in conspiratorially. "You know, I heard he's been practicing his dramatic entrances," he whispers, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Amren, who had been silently observing the exchange, scoffs in amusement. "Practicing? Please, Azriel was born with dramatic flair," she interjects, her voice dry as ever. You can't help but laugh at Amren's remark, nodding in agreement. "True," you concede, unable to deny the truth in her words. Cassian's grin widens, mischief dancing in his eyes as he leans in closer. "You know, Y/N, if you keep talking about Az like this, people might start to think you have a crush on him," he teases, his tone light but teasing. Mor joins in on the teasing, a playful smirk on her lips. "Oh, come on, Cass," she chimes in, "we all know Y/N's got it bad for Az. I mean, who wouldn't? He's mysterious, brooding, and let's not forget those dreamy eyes."

You roll your eyes at their teasing, but heat creeps up your neck nonetheless. "You two are insufferable," you mutter, trying to play it off coolly despite the warmth you can feel in your chest.

They share a knowing look, their grins widening. "Oh, don't be shy, Y/N," Cassian says with a wink, "we all see the way you light up whenever Az is around."

You sigh in mock exasperation, knowing there's no escaping this. "Fine, you caught me," you admit with a chuckle, "but can we please focus on something other than my nonexistent love life for once?" Mor and Cassian exchange a glance before bursting into laughter.

With an exaggerated sigh, you down the rest of your wine in one swift motion, the cool liquid soothing the annoyance bubbling within you. Setting the empty glass down, you grab another from the nearby tray, filling it to the brim with wine. Cassian and Mor exchange amused glances as they watch your reaction, but you pay them no mind, determined to drown out their taunting with copious amounts of alcohol.

As the night wears on, the rhythm of the music pulls you onto the dance floor, the enchanting melodies winding their way through the air and into your soul. Lost in the music, you move with grace and elegance, allowing the melodies to guide your every step. The lights overhead cast a warm glow on the dance floor, illuminating the faces of those around you as they sway to the music. Couples twirl and spin, lost in their own worlds of love and passion, while laughter and joy fill the air. You watch as Nesta and Cassian sweep over the dancefloor together, having the crowd watch in awe.

With each passing moment, your gaze darts from one corner of the room to the next, hoping to catch sight of him. Your heart beats faster with every shadow that moves, every figure that passes by, as you search for the one person who has occupied your thoughts all evening.

Dancing with an attractive Fae male, his presence envelops you, his hand warm against the small of your back as you sway to the soft, slow tunes. Despite your initial reluctance when he asked you to dance with him, you find yourself enjoying his company, lost in the rhythm of the music and the warmth of his gaze. His blond hair were neatly combed, his bright green eyes gentle and kind as they take in your facial features.

But as his hand begins to wander over your scarred skin, trailing dangerously close to where the fabric of your dress starts again, a shiver runs down your spine. The heat of his touch sends a jolt through you, igniting a familiar sensation. Just as you feel yourself becoming lost in the moment, a sudden shift in the air catches your attention. Without even turning around, you know he's here. As the music continues to play, you can sense him drawing closer, his presence casting a spell over you that leaves you spellbound and breathless. Just as you're about to step away, you sense a familiar presence behind you. The scent of cedar fills your senses, and you turn to find Azriel standing there, his tall frame looming over you.

Before you can even process his presence, he reaches out, gently touching your arm. "May I cut in?" he asks, his voice soft yet commanding. You meet his gaze, the intensity in his eyes sending a shiver down your spine. "Of course," you reply, unable to tear your eyes away from him. As the Fae male steps back, Azriel takes his place, his hand finding yours as he pulls you close. The music shifts to a slower, more intimate melody, and you find yourself swept up in the moment. "It's been too long," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the music. Azriel's gaze softens, his fingers tracing light patterns on your back. "I've missed you," he admits, his voice low and filled with emotion. A surge of warmth washes over you at his words, and you find yourself drawn closer to him. "I've missed you too," you confess, your heart racing in your chest. As you continue to dance, the tension between you and Azriel is palpable, crackling in the air like electricity. His hand lingers on your waist, his touch sending shivers down your spine.

"I can't believe you're finally back," he murmurs, his voice barely audible over the music. You meet his gaze, your heart pounding in your chest. "I can't believe it either," you reply, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "It feels like it's been an eternity." Azriel's eyes soften, a hint of sadness flickering in their depths. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you when you returned," he says, his voice filled with regret. "I wanted to be the first one to welcome you home."

You reach up, gently touching his cheek. "It's okay," you assure him, your thumb tracing the line of his jaw. "I know you had your duties to attend to." A faint smile plays at the corners of Azriel's lips then, and he leans into your touch. How he had missed it to feel your gentle reassuring touch. "Still, I wish I could have been here for you," he murmurs, his voice deep and husky. As the song comes to an end, you stare at each other. Reluctantly, Azriel releases your hand, his touch lingering for a moment longer before he takes a step back. The music fades into the background, drowned out by the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

For a moment, the two of you simply stand there, lost in each other's gaze, the world around you fading away until there's nothing left but the space between you. Then, with a soft smile, Azriel breaks the silence. "Would you like to take a walk?" he asks, his voice gentle and inviting.

You nod, a warm feeling spreading through you at the prospect of spending more time with him. "I'd like that," you reply, returning his smile. Together, you slip away from the dance floor, the night air cool against your skin as you step out onto the balcony. The city sprawls out before you, its lights twinkling in the darkness like a sea of stars.

Feeling his gaze upon you, you can't help but shift slightly under his scrutiny, a blush creeping up your cheeks as you realize just how closely he's examining you. You bite your lip nervously, suddenly hyper-aware of every curve and contour of your body that's on display in the dress. As Azriel's eyes linger on your figure, you can't help but notice the way his gaze seems to heat up, his breath catching in his throat. A thrill shoots through you at the intensity of his stare, igniting a fire in the pit of your stomach.

For a moment, neither of you says anything, the air between you charged with unspoken desire. Then, with a slight cough to clear his throat, Azriel tears his gaze away from you, his cheeks tinged with a faint blush. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice husky with emotion. "I didn't mean to stare." You shake your head, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. "It's okay," you reply softly. "I... I don't mind."

You reach out tentatively, your hand finding his arm in a comforting gesture. "Azriel," you begin, your voice barely above a whisper, "there's something I've been wanting to tell you." He turns to face you, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. "What is it?" he asks, concern lacing his every word. You take a deep breath, summoning all your courage. “I-“  Before you can finish your sentence, the door to the balcony swings open, and Feyre steps out, her eyes widening in surprise when she sees the two of you standing there together.

"Oh, sorry," she stammers, quickly averting her gaze. "I didn't mean to interrupt." Azriel clears his throat, stepping back slightly to give Feyre some space. "It's alright," he says, his voice a little strained. "We were just... talking." she nods, though there's a knowing glint in her eyes as she looks between the two of you. "Right, well, I'll leave you two to it then," she says, retreating back inside. You and Azriel exchange a glance, a silent understanding passing between you. It seems that fate has other plans for your conversation, at least for now.

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When Azriel winnowed into Rhys's study earlier that day, he was greeted by the familiar sight of his brother sitting behind the desk, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. Rhys's gaze meets his, and Azriel's eyes widen as the scent of you fills his senses, sending a jolt of anticipation coursing through him. It wasn’t dull and faded, not like the pillows in your bedroom. No, you had to have been in this room today. Rhys raises an eyebrow at his brother’s dumbfounded face, his smirk growing more pronounced. "Took you long enough to notice," he says, amusement lacing his tone.

Azriel's lips twitch into a half-smile as he strides further into the room, his movements fluid and graceful. "I was preoccupied," he replies, his voice gruff. "But I'm here now." Rhys chuckles, leaning back in his chair. "I can see that," he says, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "So, how was your mission?" Azriel takes a moment to compose himself, his mind still reeling from the unexpected encounter with your scent. "Successful," he replies, his voice steady despite the turmoil raging within him. His resolve snapped. "But I'll fill you in on the details later. Right now, I have other matters to attend to."

Rhys arches an eyebrow, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Of course," he says, his tone teasing. "Wouldn't want to keep her waiting, would you?" Azriel's cheeks flush slightly at his brother's teasing remark, but he maintains his composure. "No," he says, his voice tinged with determination. "I wouldn't."

As Azriel takes flight for the House of Wind, his mind races with a whirlwind of emotions. Excitement courses through his veins, an unexpected thrill at the thought of seeing you again after nine long months apart. He hadn't dared to hope that you would be back, hadn't allowed himself to entertain the possibility of your return. And yet, here you were, your presence filling him with a sense of longing he just started to realize he'd been harboring.

The memory of your scent lingers in his mind, haunting him with its intoxicating sweetness. It's a scent he knows all too well, one that has the power to drive him to madness with desire. Even now, as he flies through the night sky, he can't shake the memory of you, the way your scent wraps around him like a warm embrace. Only yesterday had he thought about that exact smell while fucking his hand wishing it was yours instead.

Cursing himself for his wayward thoughts, Azriel frowns, attempting to push aside the overwhelming tide of emotions threatening to consume him.

As Azriel lands gracefully on the balcony of the House of Wind, he braces himself  for their reunion. He had just made his way here in record time, flying like his life depended on it. His heart pounds in his chest, the anticipation of seeing you again after so long almost too much to bear. With each step he takes, his eyes scan the crowded room, searching for your familiar form amidst the mass of guests.

And then he sees you.

His breath catches in his throat as he takes you in, his brain short-circuiting at the sight of you. You’re wearing a dress, and it clings to you like a second skin, accentuating every curve and contour of your body. His gaze lingers on the scars that trail across your back, a witness to the battles you had fought and the strength you possess. But it's not just your appearance that captivates him. It's the way you move, the grace and confidence with which you carry yourself, as if you own the very air around you. And you do, completely oblivious to the hungry and captivated stares you gain, turning heads everywhere you appear. Then his attention finally shifts to the Fae dancing with you, his hand lingering dangerously close to your exposed skin, and a surge of possessiveness courses through him. You’re wearing his colors, he realizes with a jolt, a flicker of irritation igniting within him at the thought of someone else daring to touch what belongs to him. A growl rumbles in Azriel's chest, low and threatening, as the surge of jealousy within him reaches a fever pitch. He takes a step forward, hazel eyes blazing with anger, his wings flaring out instinctively behind him.

But before he can make his move, Mor appears at his side, a knowing smirk on her lips as she nudges him playfully. "Easy there, big guy," she says, her voice low and playful. "No need to start a brawl on Starfall."

Azriel grits his teeth, torn between his desire to protect what's his and the knowledge that Mor is right. He takes a deep breath, forcing himself to reign in his emotions. While Azriel briefly exchanges pleasantries with Mor, his mind is consumed by thoughts of you. He can hardly focus on their conversation, his attention drawn inexorably back to where you stand across the room. He can feel his Illyrian instincts surging to the forefront, urging him to claim what's rightfully his. Shadowy tendrils dance around him frantically, pushing, pulling, as if they too wanted him to whisk you away from the other male’s embrace.

Finally having had enough, he excuses himself from Mor's company. Azriel prowls across the room with purposeful strides. His presence alone is enough to send a ripple of unease through the crowd, his menacing aura palpable as he approaches. When he reaches your side, the Fae male dancing with you seems to shrink back in fear, intimidated by the intensity of Azriel's gaze. But Azriel pays him no mind, his attention wholly consumed by you.

His shadows whispering words of possession and desire in his ears, chanting “Beautiful, beautiful” over and over. ”Ours, ours” Azriel can hardly contain the primal urges that surge within him. All he can think about is claiming you, marking you as his own for all the world to see. And as he draws closer, the air crackling with anticipation, he knows that he won't be satisfied until you’re in his arms, where you belong. He just wants to sink his teeth into the soft flesh of your neck. Suppressing a groan, he twirls you around, his hands easily finding their way onto your hips, softly squeezing them while leading the dance.

When the song came to an end, he felt like he was stood in the summer courts afternoon sun again. He needed some fresh air, some more quietness, and he selfishly wanted to be the sole bearer of your company.

By the Cauldron, as you made your way onto the balcony, him trailing behind you a few steps, he silently swore under his breath. Suddenly he was questioning his decision to be alone with you. Again, he asked himself why. Why have the last nine months been such a torture? Why did it feel like there was no oxygen left in his lungs when you and Mor had winnowed away and departed for your mission? And only now could he breathe again, truly breathe. And with every inhale, the scent of sweet lilies and freshly fallen rain assaulted his senses, clawing into the very essence of his being.

Only as you shifted on your feet slightly did he notice that he was straight up staring at you. Shit. As a soft blush made its way onto your cheeks then, he wanted to melt. Did you like the way he looked at you? Had the past nine months felt as maddening for you as they had felt for him? Questions upon questions infiltrated his mind as you looked upon Velaris together. And when you spoke again, wanting, no, needing to tell him something, he felt his stomach drop. Had you found someone on the continent?

When Feyre interrupted you mid-sentence solely by appearing, he didn’t know if he should curse or thank her for the disturbance. But the way your brows furrowed and how the light in your eyes ebbed out a little bit, made him feel a pang in his chest.

He cleared his throat, trying to shake off the sudden tension that had settled between you. And as Feyre excused herself again, he spoke up. "What were you saying?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper. He needed to know, needed to hear your words, even if they shattered his heart into a million pieces. You hesitated for a moment, the words caught in your throat as you searched for an excuse, anything to deflect from the truth. "It's nothing," you replied, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. "Just... something I've been thinking about lately. But it's not important." A lie.

He studied your expression, a flicker of disappointment crossing his features before he masked it with a small smile of his own. "Alright," he murmured, though he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to your words than you were letting on. Turning back to Azriel, you couldn't help but notice the way the moonlight danced across his features, casting a soft glow around him that made your heart flutter again.

"You know," he began, breaking the comfortable silence between you, "I never expected to find you here tonight. It's... a pleasant surprise."

You chuckled softly, the sound carrying on the gentle breeze. "Well, it's not every day that we get to celebrate Starfall together," you replied, a hint of warmth in your voice. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." There was hidden meaning in your words that he didn’t fail to miss.

His eyes softened at your words, a silent understanding passing between you. "I'm glad you're here," he murmured, his gaze never leaving yours. "It wouldn't be the same without you."

Wearing a tender smile, Azriel reached out, his fingers lightly brushing against yours. "You look beautiful tonight," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. A soft blush crept onto your cheeks at his compliment, and you couldn't help but return his smile. "Thank you," you replied, your voice filled with sincerity. "You don't look too bad yourself."

He chuckled softly, the sound like music to your ears. "High praise coming from you," he teased, his eyes sparkling with amusement. You laughed, a light and carefree sound that echoed in the night air. "Well, I do have good taste," you quipped, nudging him playfully.

With trembling hands, you reached out to touch him, your fingers grazing lightly against his cheek as you traced the contours of his face. His eyes fluttered closed at your touch, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he leaned into your caress. Every nerve in his body seemed to come alive at your gentle caress, his senses overwhelmed by the intoxicating sensation of your touch. With a shaky breath, he opened his eyes, meeting your gaze with a depth of emotion that words could not express. In that moment, he felt as though he could drown in the ocean of your eyes.

With a tender yet sure touch, Azriel pulled you into his embrace, his arms enveloping you in a cocoon of warmth and safety. The scent of cedar and winter air surrounded you, his presence filling every corner of your senses. Azriel can't help himself, his urge to feel you pressed against him. He had missed you too much, and the way you just looked at him had him questioning why the hell he waited so long to do this. His hazel eyes glint as he lets them roam over your face, examining the gentle curve of your full lips, dipping down to follow the line of revealed skin, ending where your breasts are pressed firmly to his chest. The intensity of his stare sends shivers down your spine, your skin tingling with a delicious combination of desire and longing.

With each passing moment, the space between you seems to shrink, until there is barely a breath of air separating your bodies. You can feel the heat emanating from him, warming you from the inside out. His eyes, darkened with lust, hold you captive, their intensity rendering you speechless. You can't help but shiver under his gaze, your entire being yearning for the touch of his lips against yours.

As he leans in closer, his brows furrowed in concentration, you can't help but tremble under his touch. His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, a subconscious gesture. You feel the gentle pressure of his body against yours, his warmth seeping into your skin as he presses you back against the railing. Unable to contain the rush of emotions coursing through you, a soft whimper escapes your lips. "Azriel." His name leaves you sounding more like a soft whine than anything else. He inhales sharply, his chest rising and falling with each ragged breath as he savors the way his name rolls off your tongue. "say it again." he pleads, his voice husky with longing, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. "Azriel..." You breathe out again. A sinful moan escapes his lips at the sound of his name spoken by you, his head bowing forward as he presses his forehead against yours. Your hands claw at his chest, fisting his shirt.

“Can I kiss you?” Azriel’s voice sounds strained as he asks you. All you can manage is a whimpered “Please.” And that’s all he needs, as if your words just shattered his restraint, he surges forward, capturing your lips with his own. You melt into each other’s touch, lips slanted over another, one of Azriel’s marred hands comes up to cup one of your cheeks, tilting your head back slightly to deepen the kiss. You press into him more, gasping when you feel a muscled thigh lodged between your legs, the friction causing you to shake slightly. Azriel swipes his tongue over your bottom lip then, venturing further as you gasp, tasting you. Both of you, completely tangled into each other, breathe heavily when you part. Only then do you realize that the stars had begun their journey, thousands upon thousands of bright streaks flashing through the sky.

The sparkling light of the falling stars reflected in Azriel’s eyes, making them shine even brighter than they already were. You followed his gaze as you saw his orbs wander to look behind you. The night sky shone with glittering starlight, painting Velaris in a colorful bright hue. In complete and utter awe, you shift slightly, watching the stars make their way to whatever destination. “Breathtaking.” Azriel mumbles huskily and you can’t help but agree. When you turn to face him again, you realize that he was still looking at you. A soft blush makes its way onto your already flushed face.

Azriel was a warrior, the Night Court’s Spymaster and Shadowsinger, he had fought plenty of battles before, always coming out on top and alive. But as he stared at you then, his heart rapidly beating in his chest, he found himself on his knees for the first time, loosing his restraint, loosing his composure. Because when he looked at you then, face bathed in the soft lights of the falling stars, skin flushed and lips swollen, it snapped. And when it did, everything made sense.

His eyes were wide and filled with something you couldn’t quite place. As you feel his lips crashing against yours once more, any words you might have spoken are lost in the fervor of the moment. The intensity of the kiss leaves you breathless, your mind swirling with a heady mixture of desire and adoration.

When you finally break apart, your chests heaving with the effort of controlling your racing hearts, you find yourself lost in the depths of his wide, expressive eyes. There's something in his gaze that speaks volumes, something you can't quite put into words but can feel deep within your soul. "Your face is a work of art," you whisper, the alcohol lending a soft haze to your words. Excitement clouding your head, the compliment spills from your lips. Azriel's features, sharp and defined, seem to glow with an ethereal light in the dimness of the night. His hazel eyes, like pools of molten gold, capture your gaze, drawing you in.

"Yeah?" he hums in response, his hands finding their way to the back of your thighs, pulling you closer to him. The warmth of his touch sends a shiver down your spine, igniting a fire within you that threatens to consume every inch of your being. And when he inhales deeply, the scent of your Arousal hits him with full force and he snarls lowly. "Your legs should frame it then,"

Your breath hitches at his words, eyes widening at what he suggests. Speechless you try to regain your composure. Then, with a coy smile, you lean in closer to him, your lips brushing against his ear as you whisper, "Careful, Azriel. You're playing with fire." The teasing tone in your voice betrays the longing that simmers beneath the surface, aching to be unleashed.

As the flames of desire engulf you both, Azriel's lips part in a husky whisper, his voice dripping with primal need. "I don't mind getting burned," he murmurs, his breath hot against your neck. With a trembling hand, you reach up to cup his cheek, your touch gentle yet filled with an intensity that mirrors the blaze in his eyes. "Then let us burn together," you whisper.

In a raw display of desire, Azriel's demeanor shifts, his jaw clenched with a fierce determination as he gazes at you with narrowed eyes filled with unbridled hunger. Without a word, he lifts you effortlessly into his arms, his hands roaming possessively over your body as he pulls you close. With a soft gasp, you wrap your legs around his hips, feeling the heat of his body against yours as you press closer together. The sensation of his hands wandering to your ass, squeezing firmly, sends a shiver of anticipation coursing through you.

In the blink of an eye, Azriel winnows you away. The world blurs around you, the sensation of movement disorienting yet thrilling. Before you can fully comprehend the transition, you find yourselves standing in the intimate sanctuary of his bedroom. Around you, the air is charged with anticipation, heavy with the promise of what is to come. Azriel's gaze meets yours, smoldering with desire as he sets you down gently on the bed, his hands still lingering on your hips. And as he looks at you then, looking deep into your eyes to search for any hesitation or regret on your part, you speak.

“Claim me.” Your voice is confident and soft. “I’m yours, Mate.”

With a primal growl, Azriel's restraint shatters, consumed by the raw, unbridled desire coursing through his veins. He leans in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss, a fierce hunger driving his movements. In that moment, there is no holding back, no inhibitions—only the primal instinct to claim you as his own.

☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆●~☆~●~☆~☆~●~☆

I Can't believe it!! What do you guys think? Let's just say Part 3 will be very steamy. I truly hope you enjoyed reading this.

Tag-list:

@impossibelle @paleidiot @tele86 @namelesssaviour @sstrohma @that-one-little-soybean @mybestfriendmademe @durgenyx @shinyghosteclipse @katherinejess

[lawlietscaramels]

okay okay okay I know you said no stories (understandable the holidays wiped me out too agshwsj) but I just got this random idea in my head and I could wait...!

So you know how voice filters are so normal now? even copying VA's to a seriously convincing level. What if people started using L's usual voice filter? Like nothing malicious, just people posting the craziest shit using THE detective L voice.

voice clips, shit posts, thirst traps, tiktok sounds of his public challenge on kira, people hating and simping on main and L can only helplessly watch. His pride won't allow him to change the filter he uses he made that himself it's his damnit! it'd be useless anyways, they'd just copy that too .

What can he do? are there legal repercussions? can he even copyright that? or is he doomed to be the biggest meme for the next 3 months like all public figures are subject to in life? Does L even notice?

So can I request an L-centric headcanon for this? You don't have to do it right away! Write whenever you feel like it! I just thought it'd be funny. Have a happy holiday!✨

–🍰 anon

That's My Voice! ╾ L

PFFTJSBAHHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE?! this is the best way to start of 2024 pfft

also I have rested and relaxationed™ so I am doing a hc/story snippet mix!

okay okay yes. let's go.

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

It's hard to say how quickly L would notice if this happened. Perhaps on the first day; perhaps he'd remain oblivious until it all blew over. the former is more likely than the latter.

but oh gosh once he notices...

Putting the key in the lock and turning it, you expected to find L standing right in the doorframe to greet you, the affectionate weirdo that he is. But he's staring in horror at one of the monitors lighting the room, mouth wide open and a lollipop forgotten in his mouth.

"y/n, they've stolen my voice!"

he probably hasn't encountered this kind of technology outside of like, criminals faking voices to commit crime or whatever so he's completely confused as to how and why ordinary citizens are using the voice filter he spent months of his childhood tinkering with.

they should make their own! can't he use copyright or something?!

"Oh, don't worry so much, L. It's just a trend, it will blow over quickly! There is no harm in them having fun."

He throws his arms in the air and for a moment you're concerned he's going to tip his seat over again. "What do you mean there's no harm?! They are 'simping,'" with the most dramatic air quotes you have ever seenー L must have learnt the term and immediately decided it did not deserve to be a wordー "for a cartoon man named Miguel from Arachnid-Man! In my voice, y/n!"

And you burst out laughing, which doesn't seem to help at all.

L goes silent and furious for a good hour as he desperately searches for a way to stop this from happening. I don't know the copyright laws myself, but I imagine as it isn't L's real voice and he likely wouldn't have seen the need to apply for a patent (or whatever equivalent there is to protect a voice filter), he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

he would still seriously consider taking these good-for-nothings to court though...

You watch with both a- and bemusement as L taps his bottom lip over and over, fast.

"L," you say, "what are you thinking?"

It's not a good sign when that British accent begins to fall over his words. "I am weighing up how likely it is I would win a court case to sue for millions, strip these imbeciles of the right to technology, and publicly humiliate them. Do you think we could bring back tar-and-feathering...?"

DO NO T LET HIM. hahags it will take a solid hour or more of convincing but L will eventually give up, pouting and dedicatedly following the hashtag #iamLtoo

he might actually learn a lot about popular culture

he might also fall out of his chair in shock and cry

so, you win some, you lose some. maybe it's best to just take away his browsing privileges and remind him of whatever case he's working on. DISTRACT DISTRACT!

you're right, his pride would definitely stop him from trying to stop these "trollers" (he called them trolleys at least three times) via changing his voice filter. He made it himself, he won't give it up because of some teen living in their parents' garage!!! Though he might try to rig a program to detect people using it and delete their accounts or whatever

not sure how to segue into this one but here's another story bit

After finally calming L down and reminding him the tar-and-feather punishment was abolished for a reason, you manage to get into bed for some rest. To your surprise, L joins you, staring expressionlessly at the ceiling. This is what he always does when thinking, so you assume his mind is on the case and he's forgotten about the whole voice fiasco until he starts... cackling.

"L..."

Yep, there's a good chance he'll swing from "this is the most horrible thing that's ever happened to me ever!!??'!;;'!;';!!;"! :(" to quoting the memes.

he might actually really enjoy some of them.

though it's hard to tell if he genuinely thinks some of what these "trolleys" are doing is creative and amusing or if it's just a coping strategy for the next few months.

well, that is until he makes a subtle reference to the most viral of the videos in his next address to the public...

after that I'm afraid the craze sets off once again

L will sit back and watch with a smile

though if one of the uses of his voice filter insults him the whole thing is shut down faster than you can say tar-and-feathers

"You're a strange man, you know that?"

"So is this 'Miguel' character."

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

©lawlietscaramels. Do not repost on other sites, claim as your own work, edit, rewrite or “fix,” feed to AI or otherwise use unethically.

[hismercytomyjustice]

Happy Wednesday-eve (close enough, it's only half an hour away!), my fellow Mind Flayers to-be!

Time for a sneak peek of Chapter Eight of my Bloodweave fic Ancient Books and Horror Stories!

Hope you enjoy!

It is me. I am Tav. There is nothing I want more in life than to respectfully pet all of the animals I come across.

--

A sudden movement in the direction of Astarion’s things made Gale jump. He watched, dumbfounded, as the cat from downstairs climbed out of Astarion’s pack, stretching lazily.

“Is that His Majesty?”

Astarion glanced over as the cat stalked toward him. His Majesty gave Gale a condescending look before leaping up onto Astarion’s bed.

“I gave him some milk and promised to hide him from Tav,” Astarion answered as His Majesty surveyed his new kingdom, weighing his options on where best to declare his throne.

“Hide him from Tav?”

“They’ve never seen a hairless cat before. They thought he was ill at first, but then went on a diatribe about wanting to respect the creature’s boundaries while also desperately wanting to pet him. I didn’t need Speak With Animals to know how the cat felt about it all. I’ve vowed to protect Tav from themself, since they hope to eventually win him over.”

Gale smiled. “I see. That was very kind of you.”

Astarion wrinkled his nose, eyes sliding closed as he lay back against his pillows. 

“I take it you’re a cat person then?”

“I’m not an anything person.”

Gale was inclined to disagree, smiling as His Majesty curled up against the vampire’s side. Astarion, eyes still closed, obligingly draped the blanket over the cat, leaving only His Majesty’s small nose visible. Scratch and the Owlbear Cub had begun to receive similar treatment when he thought no one was watching.

[darkne1t]

«I no longer control my thoughts and my body...»

The madness of depression.

Due to the full-scale russian invasion of my country, the pharmacies could not get medicine. So I had to stop taking my antidepressants. Due to the lack of medication and the horrors of the war, my mental disorder progressed rapidly. In the fall, I learned what true madness is. I never thought that depression could be so terrible...

I don't remember the horror well because I have memory problems due to depression. I don't know how to describe this experience. I was losing control of depression, depression was controlling me. It controlled not only my thoughts but also my body. I was losing control over my own consciousness. It was very scary. It seemed to me that soon I would lose my adequacy forever, and therefore I must urgently kill myself before it was too late...

Because of the war, my psychotherapist left the country. And the surrounding people considered depression to be fiction. I couldn't even tell anyone about this horror, because they just laughed at me. I was completely alone. I pretended that everything was fine with me so that people would not insult me. And she secretly went crazy, beat herself, beat walls and doors when no one was home. This madness weighed on me physically. I was ready to go to a mental hospital, just save me or kill me! But finding a mental hospital in my small town turned out to be impossible for me. I called the hospital, asked for a psychiatrist, but they offered me a psychologist... This only intensified my desire to die.

I am still alive only because of the fear of pain that prevents me from killing myself. I was able to find a psychiatrist online. Thanks to people on the Internet, they collected funds for my treatment, because I lost my ability to work and cannot earn money now. It is now the second month of treatment for depression. I was sad that I still had no strength, it seemed to me that there was little progress. And then I remembered what happened before the resumption of treatment. I have had no more bouts of insanity this month. I didn't even cry. And I realized that the progress is really great.

In this art, I wanted to convey this terrible experience. Because I don't know how to describe it in words. I used to convey everything through pictures. Probably only people who have experienced something similar will understand this.

In the art is my character, who also has depression. A year ago, I wanted to create a comic about the adventures of a broken character to show that depressed people can also have happy moments and interesting adventures. Unfortunately, due to the russian attack and the deepening depression, I don't know if I will be able to implement this idea. Maybe a rocket will kill me tomorrow. Maybe depression will win and I will lose myself forever. But while I am alive and can think adequately, I try to survive and achieve my dreams. I hope I will have time to implement my creative plans.

[0ct0ber-rust]

My sister’s birthday was so fun and it truly was such an enjoyable day with my partner, parents, and of course the birthday girl (and my dog even made an appearance at the end of the day🖤). We took some family photos and I even liked some of them. I weighed yesterday and was within 2 pounds of where I was last week which I was considering a win given how much wine I consumed and the nice dinner we had at the end of the day. I got the scale out, stepped on it, and saw the numbers bouncing all over and couldn’t do it today. I am retaining so much water from trying to rehydrate yesterday and I also at a clear noodle soup bowl last night after getting high on thc seltzers during a viewing of “One Cut of the Dead” (absolutely wholesome and so much fun horror comedy). Stayed well within my calorie budget yesterday (not the whole week, so bad starting the week with a binge) but all the sodium is not helping today.

I’m going to do my best as this week is my dad’s birthday so I will be going to celebrate with him at my parents’ house this weekend, which means lots of food. July always kicks my ass since my parents and sister are all July babies. I do have my annual wellness exam late next week so I’m hoping that hanging over me will motivate me.

I need to remember that we are 3 months 3 weeks 2 days from Halloween, and I’d prefer to start October much skinnier, but much skinnier by Mabon would be even better.

Big week ahead, going to a friend’s tonight, meeting with my psychiatrist tomorrow, physical therapy Wednesday, intro to sewing class Thursday, and then Dad’s birthday this weekend.

[vomit-art]

The snow in Antarctica is melting.

I heard the snow in Antarctica is melting.

Instantly my mind went to all the stories where the good guys win and the bad guys magically change their ways.

I felt cheated and lied to.

A veil has fallen over my vision lately everything I do is coated in this melancholy flavor.

I can taste it in everything I do now.

When I brush my teeth

When I eat lunch

Before I go to bed at night

I know the truth and I’ve come to accept it

This, everything is over now and soon I will die a terrible death along with everyone and everything I know and love. I think big to downplay this in my brain.

In spite of everything everyone would die anyway the planet and everything is temporary

This universe is cold and indifferent yet beautiful all the same

I fear death still.

I fear the void my consciousness becoming what?

Energy, Spirit? Nothing?

What will become of my love, my mother? I worked so hard to build a strong relationship with

My little brother and sister their hopes and dreams thrown by the wayside adulthood never coming for them

The rage always takes me sooner or later

The unfairness of it all weighs down and I feel powerless. I AM powerless. Powerless to save myself or those around me.

My therapist says faith is the first part of finding comfort in the “Afterlife” she says my friend is still out there somewhere.

I can’t bring myself to believe in something so fantastical

I am jaded in my “old” age, tired and numb to the

Horrors I see everyday.

How, how do I find hope? How do I believe things will change

How do I bring myself to believe in an afterlife or anything better than this waking nightmare.

I have no answers…

I simply picture Sisyphus rolling the boulder up the hill I picture the promise I made to my friend that I would live.

I will continue

My legs hurt,my spirit is broken I can’t possibly go any further but I will…

I will drag myself into hell because I can’t picture myself giving up.

It’s not in my nature.

[tamrieldrifter]

A banner of convenience

The largest of all the insidious Dark Anchors to fall upon Tamriel during the Planemeld still holds the Imperial City enslaved beneath its repugnant shadow. That most grim night still lives on in my nightmares. That first dread horn echoing across the capitol’s six districts, followed by the crash and grind of iron grapnels that shock the very walls of the city. I could not tell in which district the first fell, but it mattered not for soon a second and third horn bellowed; crash, grind, and then more, from which endless demons poured forth. We tried to fight them back of course, be as the daedric horde kept growing, we were losing the battle for the streets inch by inch. And then our own comrades turned against us and all was lost. Next thing I remember is awakening upon a cold stone slab and the wicked worm king standing over me with impious bodkin in hand… and then emptiness.

Talk amongst the soldiers at the High Rock Gates is that whilst many of the legionaries in the city suffered the same fate as I, some fought on, sacrificing themselves so many citizens could escape the horror. And what's more, it is rumoured that although the battle was inevitably lost, there are some still within the city who fight on even now. I must know, I must see for myself. The bridges into the city however are buckled by daedric spells, and that same outlandish magic has so riled the waters of Lake Rumare that it is now impossible to cross. Yet I hear from a Breton captain that their sappers managed to establish a forward base within the city's sewers before the access tunnels were collapsed. So it appears that the only road to the ruby throne is through the sewers… wasn't it ever thus?

So I am to rely upon Covenant portals to gain access to the Imperial City. As much as I feel at home in Daggerfall, and whilst Emeric’s intentions to restore the Remen empire might be the most tolerable of the three alliance’s ambitions, I hold no loyalty for this Covenant. In truth I do not believe that the High King, who without Wrothgar would hold no crown at all, can win this Three Banners War. Finding Emeric drowning in a mire of self-pity at the mercy of Vaermina’s nightmares, left me feeling that what is cracked is sure to shatter. Yet it is better to share a banner of convenience with a cracked King then to be under the yoke of a drunken Nord, or worse. I do not consider myself a bigot, for many years I served to protect the most cosmopolitan city in all Tamriel, but I’d rather be damned to Oblivion then live under the boots of Elves.

As soon one enters the sewers, the malodorous air begins to weigh heavily upon your lungs. The torches lining the dripping stone walls of the dank tunnels battle against an onerous gloom. But most unsettling of all are the unseen sounds. The footsteps of boot, hoof, and claw from above, the muffled howling, shrieking, and groaning from behind the walls. The scuttling of rats and spiders, the clank and grind of chains. And then there are the sudden winds that chill your bones. Yet the alliances have managed to create bastions of sorts within these sewers. I lived for years in this once great city without ever knowing just how extensive the sewers beneath the streets were; I can’t imagine many did outside bureaucratic or builders circles. And not even they could have predicted that these sewers would become mortals last refuge in the grandest city of them all.

S.K

[wxnheart]

"I don't remember your birth. You were just barely a little under too big to deliver.

I don't remember the drug cocktail they gave me.

I don't think I was even the second to hold you in my arms.

Or the third.

When I awoke, you were already sleeping on my chest. Cleaned and even scented to smell like Jasmine. Wrapped in a purple blanket."

"Their heartbeats were wrong."

"What?" You looked up at your daughter. She was studying the bottom of her tea.

"Dad held me second. Shushed me. Cradled me up to his chest. It wasn't your heartbeat. I wouldn't stop crying until, after they cleaned me and weighed me and measured me, I was finally put on your chest. With hindsight, I remember he looked disappointed. Sounded disappointed. Like he expected putting his finger in my hand would cause me to coo and giggle immediately." Iphegenia put the cup back on the table.

A deep unease stirred in your gut. "You remember all the way back then? So that first year..."

Your daughter had grown up fast. Within two weeks she had been able to toddle, and speak. Within a year she was barely a teenager. In three a fully grown adult. It went by so fast, you weren't able to enjoy just having her be a child.

That first month, had been Hell.

Fulgrims special daughter never wanted to leave her mother's side. Never fell asleep unless she was in your arms. Was perfectly happy taking lessons from any tutor, except Fulgrim.

You remember the looks he gave you when you held your daughter in your arms. Like you had stolen from him.

Luckily, a particularly difficult battle gave you and your newborn toddler space for a quiet conversation.

"I know you're Father's scary you just- you have to pretend. Okay? Can you do that for Mommy?"

"... okay."

When Fulgrim returned, an excitable Phig practically leaped into his arms. She asked him questions then. About the battle. Who he was fighting. What he killed.

You stood off to the side, smiling, and waved for his attention.

He didn't spare you the glance.

"So you bore me just to throw him off."

You winced.

But you didn't lie.

"Yes. For the record, I am sor-"

"Don't be," Phig gave you a falsely warm smile. Something she had mastered over the years. It took a second for it to become genuine. "You were just trying to survive. Using the tools you had. Do you want anymore of the tea?"

You frowned up at her. "No, thank you-"

She knocked the entire tea pot back. Pouring it straight into her mouth and a little down her front. When it was empty she flung it against a corner of the room. Shattering the fine, uniquely painted porcelain.

"I always wanted to do that," she admitted, wiping off the tea with the back of her hand.

You stared at her in horror.

"I was mad at you about throwing me under the bus years ago." She continued. "And I realized our shared situation not long after."

"What is this about, really." You demanded.

She gave you a sad look.

"Do you have visions mom? Little flashes of the future? Because if I'm being frank here,"

Miles away from where the two were sitting, a thunderbird landed in the hanger. For the first time in decades, Fulgrim stepped out onto his wife's battle barge. He wore a serpents grin. His hand never straying from his oh so special sword.

"Fulgrim would eventually break free" would he? Well, we'll see about that.

"I don't think we're going to survive the night."

The Demon swept down the halls, closer and ever closer to his prize.

"Can I listen to your heartbeat? One last time?"

- Goddess Anon

For my next trick, if you'll allow it Artist Anon, I need to borrow the Artist character. I don't intend to harm the kids or the character. Fulgrim wins for all of ten seconds and then loses her again. She effectively has a little side adventure.

.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

If you’re still taking prompts:

“Keeping a secret from your best friend is difficult... but when that secret is that you're madly in love with her, it's downright impossible. At least that's what Cassian thought, until he was a little tipsy and sharing a sleeping bag with said best friend. (College, modern AU)”

With smut please?🧎🏾‍♀️🙏🏽👀🥺

Oh hey bestie! So I think maybe you had like after a college party in mind for this but I went a… different way. Also it’s only smut-adjacent because I think good smut requires a Drabble of its own I think I’m sorry. Hope you enjoy!!!

Camping.

Nesta had two weeks between the end of her internship and the beginning of her last year of college, and somehow, she let herself get dragged along on her sister’s annual camping trip.

Their whole friend group was weird and twisted around like Ivy vines with who was closest to who, who was related to who, who was dating who, who had slept with who’s father (looking at you MOR!), and Nesta tended to avoid the big group things.

But this was only Feyre, Rhys, Azriel, and the real reason she was there… Cassian. Fucking Cassian dragging her off into the woods.

Nesta loved her sisters. She did. She wouldn’t spend time with them and pretend she didn’t hate their boyfriends if she didn’t love them. (Pretending not to hate Rhys and Lucien, for Nesta, pretty much required the energy of a full time job.)

She loved her sisters. But she was there for Cassian. Because she liked Cassian. Genuinely and entirely liked him. Nesta Archeron liked another human being. They’d been best friends since eighth grade when he tried to ask her out on the swing set and she elbowed him in the jaw.

Saying yes to that middle school date would’ve been the worst mistake of her life. Because then she’d have had this short drama filled relationship with Cassian and she wouldn’t have gotten to keep him. And she really loved that she got to keep him. Even if sometimes she wished he’d been her first kiss instead of Tomas.

Anyway, when he said he was going on this camping trip Nesta realized she had to go too. Because there was no way she was spending her free time somewhere that he wasn’t. He was her person. The person she wanted to spend her free time with.

“Pathetic,” Cassian grinned, plucking the pack right off of her back as if it weighed no more than a purse. As if she hadn’t been struggling under its weight for the past 4 kilometres.

“I agreed to camping. I didn’t realize a 7 hour hike was involved to get to the damn place.”

“Two hours at most, sweetheart.” Nesta scowled, pretending, as she always did, to hate his little endearments. “And all of the best spots require a hike. Otherwise they’re overcrowded.”

“Maybe overcrowded is a good thing. Maybe overcrowded means loud and safe instead of offering ourselves up to be a bear buffet.”

“I’ll protect you from any bears, I promise, Nes.”

Nesta glared. “You’re going to fight off a bear if it tries to eat me?”

“Of course I am,” Cassian nodded. “These muscles aren’t just for show.”

Nesta laughed. “How sad I’m going to lose my best friend on this trip. Don’t worry I’ll come up with something nice for the tombstone. “Here lies Cassian. Tried to fight a bear so his muscles would have a purpose.”

“I take it back, you can get eaten by the bear.”

“I’m going to shove you in front of the bear.”

Their water break had landed then both a few hundred feet behind Feyre, Rhys, and Azriel, so Cassian kept hold of her backpack as they moved, teasing her that he was still faster with two packs than she was with none.

When they arrived at the little clearing Nesta had to admit it was beautiful. Serene. A big patch of grass surrounded by trees with a stunning view over the mountains from a clearing just a few feet away.

“Worth the hike?” Cassian asked as he set up their tent. That was the deal. If Nesta was going to camp then he had to do all of the work. Because she didn’t know how to do it. Also he had to share his tent with her because seriously? Why would she own a tent? She wasn’t a damn mountain man.

“It is really pretty.”

“I told you you’d like camping, Nesta!” Feyre called out from over fifty feet away where Azriel, Cassian, and Nesta all banded together to force her and Rhys to put their tent. Far away from the other two. Nesta was so not sleeping on the ground AND listening to her little sister have sex all night.

“Cassian?” Consciousness pulled lightly through Cassian’s sleepy mind. “Cass? CASS!” He shot bolt upright, body instinctively turning to Nesta, looking her over, checking her for injuries or any other thing that might have her yelling his name into the pitch black tent.

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

Cassian laughed. It was probably 3am and she’d just woken him up, and still he was laughing. Man he had it bad.

“What’s up, buttercup?” He made a show of flipping around to face her even though he couldn’t really see her.

“I’m freezing.”

As his eyes adjusted, Cassian looked her over with a frown. She was bundled up in her sleeping bag, wearing his sweater… which he hadn’t given her, but he had discarded in between them before he went to sleep so that was fair game he guessed. It was far from the first time in over a decade of friendship that she’d stolen his sweater, but man… it still did something to him.

“Your sleeping bag isn’t made for below freezing temperatures, is it?”

Nesta stared at him. Blinked. “No. Why would it have to be? It’s August!”

“It’s colder up in the mountains,” Cassian explained. “Especially over night.”

“Great. I’ve been brought into the mountains to freeze to death and now Eris is going to win the gold medal for our year.”

Cassian laughed, “Well I can’t allow that. The horror.” This was probably a bad idea. No it was definitely a bad idea, but the words couldn’t be stopped from leaving his mouth once they popped into his mind. “Come share mine.”

Cassian half unzipped his sleeping bag and made a show of shuffling himself over.

“You’re too big.” She said.

“Thanks I work out,” Nesta glared at his cocky smirk. “Come on Nes, it’s this or letting Eris win the gold medal.”

Nesta huffed, but unzipped her sleeping bag and crawled over to his, her legs were cool as they tangled with his in the tight sleeping bag. Cassian pulled her in, one arm wrapping instinctively around her shoulders to pull her against his chest, before he zipped the sleeping bag up again after her.

This had been such a bad idea. But what could he do? Let her freeze?

Cassian told Nesta everything, so it was already difficult enough to be keeping a secret from his best friend... but when that secret was that he had been madly in love with her since middle school, the situation became impossible. And pulling her perfect body tight up against his and wrapping her in his arms, hands moving up and down her shoulders quickly to try and warm her up, was not helping the situation.

“Thanks,” Nesta murmured sleepily. “I’m already a lot more comfortable.”

Me too, Cassian thought but would never say.

“Hey Cass?” Nesta’s voice was teasing. “What do we do if you wake up with morning wood?”

Cassian chuckled into her hair, a little bit drunk on the familiar scent of rosehips and iron will.

“Then I guess we’ll finally have sex.” He deadpanned.

Nesta’s jaw dropped. Ok. Bad joke. “I’m not having sex with you for the first time in a tent Cassian!”

Now Cassian’s jaw dropped. That was her issue with his suggestion? “I… Nesta I was joking. But… the tent is the problem? The only problem?”

“Grow a pair!” Nesta batted at him with her hand, an impressive feat considering she was all but pinned between him and the sleeping bag. “I thought this was you finally making a move.”

Cassian stared down at her. It was pitch black, but even with just the shadowy outlines of her features, he could see her exact expression in his mind.

“I wouldn’t use you freezing as a ploy to make a move, Nesta.”

“And why not?” She humphed, “it’s the perfect opportunity.”

“It’s… coercive.”

“Do I look coerced to you, Cassian?” Nesta ran her foot up his bare calf and Cassian shuddered.

“I can’t have sex with you if you’re looking for a friends with benefits, Nes.” Nesta paused her movements. “I… fuck, our friendship means so much to me and I’m so afraid to fuck it up. And if we start having sex I won’t be able to handle it being just sex and you’ll start to resent me so we just… shouldn’t go there.”

Nesta’s arms wrapped around him now, struggling to span the full width of his chest. “And if it wasn’t just sex?”

“Please don’t fuck with me about this,” he whispered. Low and Ernest in a way he almost never was.

“What?”

“Dont joke about this if you’re playing around or I don’t… you have to know, Nes. You have to know how completely in love with you I am.”

“Yeah,” Nesta tucked her head under his chin. “I know. I’ve just been waiting for you to make a move.”

It was dark. Cassian could barely see her. But there, with his arms around his best friend in the world, sharing a sleeping bag to keep her warm, Cassian nudged her out of his chest and found her lips in the pitch black.

Why had he kept this secret for so long? Everything in the world was better when he was kissing his best friend.

[xzho-writes]

iron. the stench fills the air and suffocates those within its metallic grasp.

rain. it pours from the heavens and clings to your waterlogged form, weighing you down like the anchor of a ship.

cold is what it is- the chill seeps deep within your bones and causes your body to quiver. to tremble.

shrill cries of agony disorientate your focus- they ring in your ears. ring in your head.

but there’s warmth. you find it in the person glued against your back as they ardently protect your blind spot.

“i’m sorry,” they utter. it’s barely above a whisper, but the wind carries their words to your ears anyway.

you stifle the sob welling up your throat.

“you have nothing to apologise for.”

slowly, so as not to worsen the ache in your arms, you lower your weapon and grab weakly at where you think their hand is.

you find it, and they interlock your fingers immediately. they’re warm.

it’s getting all too hard to maintain your composure, now.

“this is it, right? the end?”

the only reply they could give was the squeeze of their hand against yours. your attention is drawn to the way their thumb draws small, gentle circles along the back of your fingers- a calming motion.

they’re trying to comfort you, you realise.

a tear slips, and so does the rest of your hope of winning this godforsaken war.

you don’t know how long you’ve spent fighting, spent protecting what little was left of your beloved city. it’s crumbling helplessly at your feet.

noticing your spiralling thoughts, the simple tug of your arm has you spinning so that you’re faced with the person you’ve sworn your life to. you don’t have the heart to look them in the face, and so you make do with burying your own against their chest.

“i’m scared.”

you’re crying audibly now, sniffling away and drawing yourself impossibly closer to their body. comforting arms wrap themselves around your waist, and soon enough you find the pair of you swaying to the ominous melody of the wind.

“i know. i am, too.”

perhaps this would’ve been a tender moment between two innocent lovers had it not been for the dire circumstances you were in.

the war continues to rage around the both of you, but you find that you could only focus on the person cradling you in their arms. on the tender, apologetic kiss they place on your forehead.

“i’m sorry,” they repeat. you don’t miss the slight waver to it. “this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.”

you’d love to placate them with your own soothing cooes of “it’s okay” or “there’s nothing else you could have done”, but only weak rasps leave your throat no matter how hard you will yourself to voice anything but.

instead, you squeeze onto them tighter before tilting your head up to place a kiss to their jaw, and then another to their neck just below their adam’s apple.

you shake your head slowly.

they know what you mean.

another shriek fills the air, then another, and another. your attention is suddenly drawn back to the present- to your beloved allies being overrun by the creatures of the abyss, fending them off as best as they can but to no avail.

succumbing to their wounds, they drop like flies.

a familiar hand guides your head back to their chest as they begin to rock you back and forth once more, effectively shielding you from the horrors of reality.

“i’m sorry.” it’s your turn apologising now. you know you shouldn’t.

“you have nothing to apologise for,” they mimic your previous words.

there’s no one else but you and your lover in this shared bubble the two of you created- a false haven in the hopes of escaping the bitter reality.

“you’ll find me again, won’t you?”

leaning their forehead against yours they promise, “always.”

the wind picks up once more, and you sway.

[leaky-pen]

Propaganda for Fern because i LOVE her and everyone should read Awful Hospital

Her name is Fern, she is 38 years old, her height is 5'6", weighs 239 lb, and is the main character of a Horror/Sci-Fi/Comedy interactive webcomic run by @bogleech.

She is literally the BEST mom ever in any fictional series trust me i am very trustworthy.

She spends most of the comic fighting for her and her son's life against bizarre alien-esque creatures.

All she knows is her son kept getting sicker and sicker, and that one day she woke up in The Hospital. Now she's in this weird place and all she wants is to get her son back and go back to the real world.

She can fight, she is a terrible liar, she has made friends with a lot of oddball characters, and she is willing to go through hell and back to save her infant son.

She's highly implied to be aromantic and asexual as she has stated that relationships aren't for her and that the person she had her kid with was an experiment that didn't work out.

She has died numerous times on this journey and it hasn't deterred her. She has been inside a morgue full of nothing but her own dead corpses.

She is working against forces she quite literally cannot comprehend and yet she is willing to keep going.

She has literally traveled inside one of her dead corpses and befriended the bacteria and fungi eating her decomposing corpse. And then two of those friends went on to pilot one of her corpses like a mecha and they also got married and are now the coolest lesbians in all of existence.

She is basically the chosen one who has to save the world, except she wasn't really chosen or destined to do this. It was just pure bad luck that she ended up in this scenario and she cares about her son too much to quit.

For like the first year of the comic's running it was a continuous thing that none of the readers knew her name. And so she was called Ms.Green by all of them. Then, like 500 pages in, it was finally revealed that her name is Fern.

Despite being surrounded by other creatures who have WAY more power than her and Fern being just a normal human, Fern still does her best to stand her ground in fights. And most of the time she manages to win.

She will NEVER give up on her son. It doesn't matter how many terrible things she learns about his condition. It doesn't matter if all of existence is at stake. Nothing matters to her except finding him and making sure he will be ok.

BEST MOM BRACKET; ROUND 1

Propaganda should be used to bring your side up, not the other side down! Please be respectful! The moms are watching 💚

[tmisaccidentreportbook]

MAG002, Do Not Open

Case #9982211, Joshua Gillespie Release date: 25 March 2016 First listen: 13th Oct 2020, on the walk into work

Right, so I’m listening and writing this while under the effects one of Mr Jonathan Sims’ favourite plausible explanations: head injury. I’m fine, just took a tumble at work and the headache’s starting to creep in.

- Joshua Gillespie! Return of the King! So sad never really got to hear what became of him. (she says, fully aware that whatever is coming at us at the end of the month could be ANYTHING)

- With the introduction, there’s one unifying theme between the 2 statements we’ve had so far, and that is the unpleasantness starts with a ‘lads on tour’ energy. A night drinking in Edinburgh, a boys’ holiday to Amsterdam. So far the demographic, and ok we’re 2 episodes in, for victims seems to be male students… Have been a student myself, and not a male one, a rather unkind part of me thought it nice for the background radiation of terror to shift for a while. It did also tell me that I needed to take care on any stag trips I may attend.

- For clarification, I’m a cis woman and yes, I have been on stag weekends. We went to Thorpe Park and did The Crystal Maze Experience, I had a lovely time.

- Yup, very white/cis/het/male energy here, heading out in a foreign city on your own, presumably not telling any of you’re party where you’re going. Granted, it was the 90’s but still.

- Cardiff! Cardiff gets a mention! Another city I have lived in for a spell.

- The mysterious ‘John’; hard to describe or picture. And I imagine that a lot of men my adopt the name ‘John’ while in Amsterdam. The odd phrasing and the fact that he said he was from Liverpool has always been strange to me, I don’t know if there’s been a pay off there that I’ve missed.

- Huh… The Buried weighing him down. Just thinking about what could weigh you down in this instance; student debt, obligation to your own word, dread.

- Done some maths because this is who I am apparently… £10,000 in 1996, with inflation, would be £20,864.13 today.

- Bournemouth… been there…

- So hopeful. So naive. The Entities don’t need you address or name mate.

- And the first appearances of everyone’s favourite cockney delivery men, I say from under my ‘Breekon and Hope of Nottingham, Handle With Care’ fleece throw. I’m feeling delicate, I need handling with care.

- Jonny Sims has spoken about the importance of pulling tactical sickies, Joshua also subscribes to that wisdom.

- When an unknown coffin is dumped in your living room in mysterious circumstances, what do you do? Tea. Yeah, you can tell this is a British production.

- So the vessel for an eldritch horror becomes a coffee table. I’d take it over IKEA.

- The scratching and singing: It makes no sense, it is impossible and that makes it all the more terrifying.

- ‘Some might call me a coward’, Sir, the fandom calls you a King.

- When the melodic moaning started, I don’t know why but the first thing that came into my mind was ‘mermaid’. I’ve never watched ‘Pirates of the Caribbean, on stranger tides’, or what ever it is but I’ve got the vague image memory of a mermaid in a glass coffin like cage. And with the strange singing, I thought ‘mermaid’. And not your Disney models of mermaid. Lamp like eyes and teeth.

- ‘Goes to show you can get used to anything if you have to.’ Well wasn’t this a doozie of a line to hear some 8 months into a global pandemic… ‘It’s funny how fear can become as routine as hunger.’ Jonny, I just want to talk. Thing is, I had another storm on the way and we had no idea.

- The freezing of the key. Genius.

- When he opened to door to John and Breekon and Hope and they saw that he had not succumbed to The Buried. In my head, that moment became when ‘The Sacrificial Lamb Refused To Lie Down’.

- ‘When the screaming started...’ gotta pay the piper John. The Buried wants its numnums. I mean, he was described as having an odd density to him, but he was also short and up against Breekon and Hope, he wasn’t winning this fight.

- ‘I got a new job and moved to London’. Ho SHIT, DID HE MOVE INTO PETER LUKAS’ APARTMENT BUILDING!? He was already primed for The Lonely, spending all his free time alone in his flat as the coffin didn’t really lend itself to entertaining. Does anyone have a date on when Lukas’ The Silence ritual was meant to take place? Is it post 1998?

- Huh, forgot Jon was a Bournemouth local boy. I’ll probably talk about this at some point, but my home stomping grounds are pretty bare of statements. And that could be read a number of ways.

- Timothy Stoker. My boy. My fun time boy. ‘Despite Tim’s best efforts.’ Oh and his efforts are the best aren’t they.

- Hearing about the fact that he was the only tenant in the building at the time and no one has lived there since… Oh boy, you are ripe for The Lonely.

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Fifty Seven

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 7.8k

Warnings: Fluff, Smut 🔞.

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Diana Prince, Alex Danvers x Sam Arias, Kara Danvers x OC

This Part: It's Christmas Morning! Time for fun, presents, laughter and... other things. But is a storm brewing?

So sorry that I am writing a xmas chapter in march... If I hadn't of had my writers block this would have come out in December 😅 Ahh well! It's been fun to do and seeing the Superfriends hang out.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @inquisitive-nix, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom, @checkingoutforheroes, @mmmmokdok, @certainkryptoniangeek, @starmako26

It is Christmas morning and Emma stretches as she slowly wakes up before pulling Diana closer to her. Yesterday she had woken up to the Superfriends cooing over the Danvers sisters as they clung to each other on the sofa. But today she enjoyed waking up behind her girlfriend.

Christmas Eve had been a relaxing day filled with christmas movies, games, food and a chilled atmosphere. Although, Emma expects today to be a bit more lively. She can’t wait to watch everyone open the presents she got them, finding it was the main thing she enjoys about the day.

Emma reaches out for her phone and cracks an eye open to see what the time is.

5am.

‘Still too early.’ Emma muses and opens her messages to send christmas wishes to her British friends.

After completing her task Emma rests her head on the pillow. She weighs up her options of either staying in bed or the possibility of going surfing. But she remembers Alex’s request that someone goes to the beach with her. She can sense Diana is still very much in a deep sleep and the house is quiet other than the heavy breathing and snoring coming from the different rooms. Closing her eyes again Emma snuggles back into Diana and places a kiss on her shoulder. Emma starts drifting off to sleep when she hears the creak of the door opening from the next room.

She sluggishly opens her eyes and yawns, hoping maybe whoever is awake will agree to come with her to the beach. Carefully she removes her arms from around Diana and hears the shower turning on.

‘Guess I’ll have to wait.’ Emma thinks and debates about whether to change out of her long pyjama bottoms and t-shirt.

But then her ears prick up from a certain noise coming from the bathroom. A noise she knows very, very, intimately and Emma’s cheeks heat up.

“Emma.” Lena moans, her breathing becomes more ragged while her heartbeat picks up as she hums deeply. “Em-ma.”

Arousal immediately spreads through Emma’s body, as well as horror. She springs out of bed, throwing on her Supergirl hoodie and rushes as silently as she can downstairs.

She places her hands over her ears to try to deafen the sound but it’s no use. She can hear everything.

In a panic her eyes fall on her portal watch that Winn had borrowed to do some last minute christmas eve shopping and Emma dives for it. The familiar bright purple light surrounds her and she teleports without thinking of where she will end up.

Emma blinks when the light fades and she’s standing outside Robyn’s door.

‘She may not even be here.’ Emma reasons but finds her fist rising to knock anyway. Emma waits and hears movement within, her chest heaving as she tries to calm down. ‘She could be with someone! You idiot!’ Emma berates herself and wonders if it’s too late to portal somewhere else when the door opens.

“Em?” Robyn asks with a laugh. “I just messaged you!” Robyn’s crystal blue eyes narrow slightly as she takes in Emma’s wide eyed expression and red cheeks. “Are you okay?”

Emma gently shakes her head and Robyn pulls her into the flat. Emma motions to the bathroom and quickly uses it before washing her hands and entering the lounge.

“What’s wrong?” Robyn asks from the sofa and pats the space beside her. Emma flops heavily onto it and holds her head in her clammy hands. “Em? Seriously, what’s going on?”

Emma breathes in heavily and runs her hands through her hair before sitting up. She reaches for her phone and starts typing.

“Oh, er, you don’t need to do that.”

Emma questioningly gazes at her friend.

“I’ve been learning sign language. Like the American version as well as the British but more focused on ASL.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to be able to communicate with you better. I mean, I saw how you were with Diana and it made more sense that I learn.”

Emma sucks in her lips and pulls Robyn into a grateful hug.

“So-” Robyn moves away and focuses on the blonde. “What’s going on?”

“I woke up and I was the first one awake. Or so I thought.” Emma pauses and Robyn repeats it to make sure she understands.

“Okay, continue.”

“It was Lena and she-”

Robyn’s face darkens at the mention of Emma’s ex. “What did she do? Do you need me to slap her?”

Emma shakes her head and suddenly feels very awkward. “She was having a shower and I heard her-” Emma makes a motion with her hand.

“Heard her what? Trying to sing?”

Emma takes a deep breath. “She was masturbating.”

Robyn tilts her head and Emma shuffles uncomfortably. “Erm, I don’t know that sign.”

Emma facepalms and wonders how else she can sign it. But Emma grabs her phone again and writes it instead.

“Ah no! Please let me figure it out!” Robyn pouts and Emma rolls her eyes. She quickly makes the wanking motion and looks away from Robyn.

“Lena has a dick?!”

Emma slams her head against the back cushion and holds her forehead as she silently groans.

“Oh.. Oh!” Robyn starts to giggle. “You heard her giving some self love huh?”

Emma nods.

“So you have super hearing too?”

Emma nods again.

“Erm, well I can see why that would be slightly awkward for you, but why did you look so freaked out just now?”

“She moaned my name.”

“Oh.” Robyn says quietly and her smile drops.

Emma cringes but Robyn’s face twitches and she presses her lips tightly together.

“It is not funny!” Emma signs heatedly.

Unable to hold it in anymore Robyn barks out laughing. Offended Emma grabs a pillow and whacks her friend over the head.

“Oi!” Robyn whacks her back and Emma holds her hands up in surrender before flopping back onto the sofa. “I’m sorry, it’s just, man, it is funny!” Robyn tries to explain and Emma huffs loudly. “No wonder you were so beat red when I opened the door!”

Emma nods and her eyes wander around the room. She frowns at how bare it is of decorations and stares questioningly at her friend.

“What?”

“You haven’t decorated?”

“Hey I know what you are doing! You are trying to change the subject! We ain’t done with Lena flicking her bean.”

Emma bursts into silent laughter and Robyn joins in. The pair can’t seem to stop and soon they both have tears running down their faces.

“Ah I needed that.” Robyn gasps out and wipes under her eyes. “So, how do you feel about what happened? I mean, you teleported here.”

Emma shifts on the sofa and faces the brunette.

“Honestly, I panicked.”

“Reasonable, but why?” Robyn asks and Emma feels her heart clench.

“It turned me on.”

Robyn nods. “And that’s okay, it’s natural and-”

Emma raises her hands and signs quickly. “But I have a girlfriend, who I love very much and Lee broke my heart! Plus she does not want me! So why would she be doing that?!”

Robyn sighs heavily. “Maybe she still likes you.” Emma glares daggers at her and Robyn raises a hand. “I mean, you are hot Em, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want to sleep with you.”

“You did not.”

“Yea well, I missed my chance years ago. I’d rather be your friend anyway.” Robyn takes Emma’s hand and smiles.

Emma smiles back but her phone interrupts by brightly flashing and pinging on the coffee table.

Reaching over her heart freezes when she sees the message from Alex.

Alex: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!

“Em?” Robyn asks and leans over to read the message. “Ahh, didn’t tell them where you were going?”

Emma shakes her head and rocks herself slightly, as if trying to self soothe.

“Well, you better leave. Wouldn’t want Supergirl to come crashing through my balcony windows again. I’m still finding pieces of glass!” Robyn says jokingly, Emma glances around the flat again and her phone lights up with another message.

Alex: Seriously Em, please message me that you are okay.

Emma: Sorry I’m with Robyn, it was a last second decision. I’ll be home soon.

Emma sends the message and gazes up at Robyn. “Come with me.”

Robyn blinks, looking taken aback by Emma’s request. “No it’s okay, I mean, the day is almost over for me anyway.”

Emma tilts her head, a look of compassion crosses her face. “Why did you not tell me you were going to be alone?”

Robyn breaks their eye contact and focuses on her fidgeting hands. “Because I didn’t want to see the look you are giving me now.”

Emma pulls the brunette into a hug but her phone pings again. But Emma ignores it and keeps her attention on her best friend. She moves back to sign. “Please Robyn.”

“They might not even want me!” Robyn whines. “I’m sure Lucy won’t either.” Robyn adds under her breath and a light blush crosses her cheeks.

Emma pauses. “Lucy?”

Robyn’s cheeks darken even further. “Yea, she, erm, took me out for coffee while my flat was being repaired.”

Emma grins. “Pack a bag. Now.”

“Urgh!” Robyn groans and rushes to her room, knowing Emma will just teleport them if she doesn’t. Plus she wants her own toothbrush and clothes. “But I don’t have any gifts!” Robyn yells, then rolls her eyes when she realises Emma can’t respond.

Emma appears in the doorway with a grin. “Mom says it is okay and she cannot wait to see you. I am sure Lucy feels the same.” Emma raises an eyebrow.

“Do not say anything to her. I mean sign.” Robyn zips the bag up and Emma copies the motion across her mouth.

“It’s very sweet though.”

Robyn ignores her and huffs out a deep breath. “Okay, let’s go before I change my mind or your sister murders you for sneaking out again.”

Emma momentarily pauses at Robyn’s words but lets out a silent snort of laughter.

Purple light engulfs the pair and next they are standing in the huge back room of the Danvers house.

“Oh shit that-” Robyn drops her bag and sways. Emma grabs her quickly and helps her onto a sofa, placing her head between her legs. “Happy christmas everyone.” Robyn’s muffled voice calls out and she raises a hand to wave. The Superfriends say their own greetings back and Emma keeps her head lowered, worrying about Alex’s mood. But also she is unsure of how she will react looking at Lena. Suddenly Robyn flings her head back and smiles.

“Sorry about that! Always had terrible travel sickness!” Robyn jumps to her feet and approaches a worried looking Eliza. “Thank you for having me over Eliza! Though I’m sure Emma would have kidnapped me either way!”

“I’m glad she did, no one should be alone on christmas day.” Eliza says and gives the brunette a hug, who seemingly melts into the motherly embrace.

Emma smiles sadly at them, knowing Robyn had been disowned by her parents and feels frustrated with herself that she presumed Robyn would be with Tina, Caden or Logan.

The sofa dips next to her and she turns to see a subdued Alex.

Emma raises her hands. “I am sorry, it was a quick decision and I should have left a note or messaged you.”

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I panicked and lashed out. Again.”

“I was worried steam was gonna erupt from her ears or something.” Kara jokes as she sits next to Emma. “Merry christmas.”

Emma responds by snuggling into her side and watches Robyn help Eliza and Diana get drinks for everyone. Diana’s eyes connect with hers and Emma’s face lights up in a bright smile. Diana gives her a small, closed smile and continues her task, making Emma frown slightly.

“Nowwww, can we start opening presents?” Ruby whines.

“Yea! Pwesents! Pwwwese?” Mary copies her and claps on Winn’s lap who tickles her sides. Mary squeals and Emma voicelessly chuckles with the others.

“Soon Rubes.” Sam says and kisses her daughter’s head. “Emma needs something to eat first.” Sam gives the blonde a pointed look and Emma begrudgingly stands to get something from the kitchen.

“Here you go sweetheart. I made you a bacon sandwich.” Eliza holds it out to her daughter and Emma takes it gratefully. She takes a bite and approaches Diana.

“Good morning Astéri.” Diana says softly and Emma nuzzles her cheek against hers.

“What have I told you about the cuteness overload that’s giving me fillings?” Robyn scoffs and Emma narrows her eyes. She puckers her lips and gets closer to her girlfriend’s lips. “No, Emma, I won’t be able to take much more!” Robyn says dramatically and Emma waits for Diana to kiss her.

“Oh I know right?!” Lucy comes up beside Robyn. “I look at them and I feel nauseous from the cuteness overload.”

“Ha! Yea, er, that’s funny and so true.” Robyn stutters and Emma notices her friend’s cheeks turning red again. She quickly kisses Diana’s cheek instead, guessing that she didn’t see it. “It’s nice to see you again Miss Lane.”

“Yea likewise, I mean, last I saw you your apartment was in a bit of a state.” Lucy says smoothly. “And please, it’s Lucy.”

Robyn nods. “Yes, of course.” Robyn holds out her hand. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Lucy.”

Emma raises an eyebrow at her sisters who are also watching closely and return their own raised eyebrows. Robyn and Lucy shake hands and giggle.

“Adults are weird.” Ruby mutters and Emma laughs loudly, causing Robyn’s head to snap and stare at her.

“Did you just?!”

Emma reaches up to her neck and massages it. She opens her mouth to see if she can make any other noises, but only air comes out.

“Emma’s voice is coming back bit by bit.” Diana tries to explain and holds the blonde’s hand.

“Yea, she has these moments where it breaks through.” Lucy adds and Robyn stares in wonder.

“So, it doesn’t stay?”

Emma nods sadly.

“But it’s a start.” Robyn grins, making Emma’s face light up too.

Mary huffs loudly and Emma takes pity on her by leading the others to the sofas. She sits and places her plate on the coffee table, gazing at the huge pile of presents. She turns to Diana and lifts her hands.

“Thanks for bringing mine down.”

“It wasn’t a problem.” Diana responds softly and gently kisses her lips.

“Are we ready?” Eliza asks and Emma is looking over to check everything is there. However, she realises Robyn’s presents are still in her room. She springs to her feet and quickly signs she’ll be back and rushes upstairs.

She quickly changes into blue jeans, a plain t-shirt and puts her Supergirl hoodie back on before grabbing Robyn’s presents. Consisting of a bag full of little presents and a big, long, narrow box that requires both of her hands to carry. She zips back into the room, placing them under the tree.

“Is that… That isn’t for me?” Robyn’s mouth drops open and Emma nods. “But, I-”

Emma sits next to her and takes her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Okay, shall I be the postal worker?” Alex gets on her knees and starts looking at labels. Mary plods over to try and help. “Who wants to go first?”

“ME!” Mary, Ruby and Kara yell at the same time.

“No me!” Nia giggles loudly and waves her hands around.

“How about-” Alex grabs a present and reads it. “Mom.” She gives it to Mary who starts to give it to Ayla. “Oh no sweetie, my Mom! To Eliza.” Alex says warmly and Mary changes course to hand Eliza the present.

“To Mom, love Emma x.” Eliza reads and she smiles at her daughter. “Thank you Sweetheart.” She starts to carefully open it and Emma rolls her eyes at her sisters. Eliza always insists that the wrapping paper can be reused, causing her daughters to try and wrap it so well that their Mom would have no choice but to rip the present open.

“Just rip it!” Both Kara and Alex yell while Emma claps and finishes her bacon sandwich.

“Okay!” Eliza laughs and does so, revealing  a beautiful shawl. “Oh wow! Emma, this is wonderful.”

The Superfriends ooo and ahh as Eliza wraps it around her neck and poses with it.

“It looks lovely on you.” Nia smiles and Alex reaches for another present.

“And this belongs to-”

“Me!” Mary’s hand shoots up.

“MEEEEE!” Kara whines.

“No ME!” Ruby yells even louder and Emma shakes her head in amusement as she snuggles into Diana.

Soon the room is filled with ripped wrapping paper and Emma enjoys watching everyone open the many gifts she got them.

“So, this next one is for-” Alex lifts a small, slim present. “Emma!” Alex holds it out and Emma blinks at her. “Why do you look surprised?”

Emma takes it and reads the label, seeing it was from Ruby. She looks over at the teen and smiles warmly at her. She opens the small gift, revealing a woven friendship bracelet in the colours of red, blue and gold.

“Do you like it?” Ruby asks hesitantly and Emma nods as tears fill her eyes. She motions for Ruby to come over and holds her right wrist out for Ruby to tie it on. After Ruby does so Emma pulls the teen into a hug.

“Thank you! I love it!” Emma signs and admires it on her wrist.

“Next we have!” Alex declares in a game show voice making everyone chuckle. She spots a box hidden behind the christmas tree and dives underneath to get it.

“Oh Alex.” Eliza mutters, knowing her daughter always loves a challenge. “Surely it's better to do the presents in the front?”

“Where's the fun in that?” Alex chuckles as she sits back up with the gift. She reads the label and declares. “Emma again!” She holds a beautifully wrapped, shoe sized box and Lena tenses. “Do you want it now or wait for others to open some more?”

Emma shrugs and reaches for it.

‘Dearest Emma, from Lena.’ Emma reads and feels her cheeks heating up. Robyn giggles beside her and the blonde nudges her hard in the ribs.

“Ow!” Robyn yelps and rubs her side.

With trembling fingers Emma delicately unwraps the present and opens the box. She tilts her head at what she sees and carefully reaches in, pulling out a light coloured wooden box with the top and front missing. Inside is a little boat on top of wooden, reed like sticks.

“What is it?” Ruby asks and Emma places it on the coffee table in front of her.

Seeing a handle she winds it up and the sticks start moving in a ripple effect, like waves of the sea with the boat bobbing up and down.

A gentle chime starts playing out and Emma immediately recognises it as her song ‘Shallow’. She stares at it in wonder and listens to the music box version of her song.

When it ends, Emma sniffs.

“That sounded beautiful.” Brainy comments and others in the room agree.

“Who is it from Sweetheart?” Eliza asks and Emma slowly raises her head and her eyes connect with worried green eyes.

“Thank you.”

“Y-you’re welcome.” Lena shakily responds, not noticing the slight frown that appears on Diana’s face as her eyes flick from the back of Emma’s head into her own.

“Okay, next one is-”

The gift opening continues for a bit longer and many of the gifts Emma bought in Europe are opened.

“Ooo this one is for me!” Alex smiles happily and starts opening it. She pauses when the smell of the leather hits her but then tears the rest of the paper. “Wow! I love it!” Alex lifts the leather jacket up and gazes at it. Immediately she puts it on and Sam wolf whistles at her. “Thanks Peanut!” Alex beams at her sister and Emma smiles back, happy it’s a perfect fit.

“Now you will not be trying to steal mine! I have seen you looking longingly at it!”

“Me? Would I ever do such a thing?” Alex declares, making both Emma and Kara look at each other and nod. “Hey!”

An alarm sounds in the kitchen and Eliza gets up. “Okay I think it’s time for a break because lunch is ready!”

“Yay!” Kara squeals and bounces over to Emma to pull her into a hug. “Thank you so much for my new art supplies! I seriously cannot wait to use them!”

“And for this sexy ass jacket!” Alex says, squeezing in between Emma and Diana. Emma snuggles into their arms and squeezes them three times.

“I love you too.” Alex whispers back and reaches for Diana to join the hug. The brunette smiles and takes Alex’s hand instead.

“Ditto.” Kara says and kisses the top of Emma’s head.

Robyn smiles at the sisters and gets up from the sofa. As she heads towards the kitchen Ruby starts playing the music box again. Robyn pauses and her gaze lowers to Lena. A surge of anger flows through her as wary green eyes connect with her icy stare.

“Luthor.” Robyn greets with a curt nod before continuing on. “Eliza? How can I help?”

“Oh bless you! Thank you Robyn, but you’re our guest!”

“No, please let me help.” Robyn pouts.

“Okay, if you insist.” Eliza laughs and Robyn beams at her. The brunette reaches for the big ceramic tray that is piled high with roasted potatoes. “Careful!” Eliza shouts, causing Robyn to freeze. “That is very hot! Could you take the carrots instead?” Robyn does so as Kara bounds over to help too.

Robyn enters the dining room and places the carrots on the huge table. She stares at the decorations and feels a sense of gratitude warming her.

“Watch your back.” Kara says from behind her and places the ceramic tray in the middle of the table.

Robyn blinks. Kara wasn’t wearing oven gloves.

“Robyn? You okay?” Kara asks in concern.

“Yea!” The brunette answers quickly. “Sorry, I’m just really honoured that you guys are okay with me being here.”

“Aw! Of course we are!” Kara places a hand on Robyn’s shoulder and leaves to get more food to place on the table.

Robyn glances down at the tray with a frown and touches it. She hisses as her fingertips burn and moves her hand away. ‘Holy Shit!’

Someone touches her shoulder and Robyn jumps in fright.

Emma places the big bowl of shredded cabbage down and frowns at her.

“Oh I, the, er, the tray was slightly off the mat so I moved it so the table wouldn’t burn. But forgot it was scolding hot, so ya know, burned myself in the process.” She waves her hand and winces at the pain.

Emma gently grabs Robyn’s wrist and examines her finger tips. Cringing at the sight of the burn and blisters already starting to appear.

“Seriously I’m fine.”

But Emma doesn’t listen and drags her to the downstairs bathroom and runs her fingers under the cold water.

Robyn yelps and tries to pull away but Emma keeps her hand firmly in place.

“Emma? Robyn?” They hear Eliza call them from the corridor. “There you are! What happened?” They both turn to look at Eliza and miss the quick glow of Emma’s hands.

“Oh I touched the potato tray and I burnt myself?”

“Is that a question?” Eliza asks as she begins to fuss over Robyn’s hand. The brunette blinks, having felt the pain dull and disappear. Neither sees Emma stumbling slightly against the wall to steady herself.

“Actually, my fingers feel better.”

“Hmm, they don’t look overly burned.” Eliza agrees and releases Robyn’s hand. “Please be more careful.” Eliza implores and Robyn nods.

‘Like Kara was?’ Robyn wants to say but instead follows the two blondes into the dining room. Her mouth drops open at the amount of food on the table, likening the display to a feast.

She is seated in between Emma and Diana with Lucy placed strategically opposite her in the middle of Kara and Ben.

The meal is dished out and Emma silently hums as she enjoys the Christmas lunch. She listens to the chatter and laughter as she eats and part of the way through Emma tries to get Diana’s attention but she is seemingly too preoccupied in her discussion with Winn and Brainy about a new project they want to work on.

“No, I'm being serious!” Robyn laughs with Lucy, Kara, Sam, Alex, and Ruby. “Emma and I were working on a song and I made an error so I asked Emma for a rubber, the look on her face was priceless and I motioned with my hand-” Robyn makes a rubbing out motion that could easily be mistaken as something else. “And repeated if she had a rubber. Well she stared at me like she was utterly mortified until she yelled out ‘oh you mean an ERASER!’”

Emma grins at the memory, remembering how they fell onto the floor gasping for breath because they had laughed so much and had to abandon song writing for the day.

“Oh that’s too funny!” Kara laughs and Emma frowns when she hears Robyn’s heart rate momentarily spike. “Are there many differences between British and American words?”

“Er-” Robyn stutters but smiles. “Yea! There’s so many but that’s been the funniest one.”

“I found another one is eggplant.” Lucy smirks at Robyn. “Do you know what that is?”

Emma listens to Robyn’s heart pick up again and she looks over at Sam to see if she heard it too. By the confused glance she gives her, it would seem she did.

“Erm, I don’t actually.”

“Or Cilantro?”

“That’s… no, I don’t know.”

“First one is Aubergine and the second is Coriander.” Lucy explains with a coy smile.

“Ah- what? That makes no sense! Like why call it an eggplant?!”

“Well why would you call a trunk a boot?”

“Why would you call a biscuit a cookie when it is nothing like a cookie but a hobnob!” Robyn says back and the pair start debating the differences.

Emma silently chuckles with the others and she grins at Alex who raises her glass of zero percent beer at her.

Emma toasts back to her and sips her pepsi max, secretly wishing she could have some wine with this meal. But she wants to support and honour the Superfriends’ sobriety.

Finally the meal ends and mostly everyone feels stuffed from the yummy food.

“Oh man, I can’t eat another bite.” Ben leans back in his chair, tapping his stomach.

“Speak for yourself!” Kara laughs and grabs another roasted potato from the tray. Robyn watches her with veiled interest.

“So is that no to dessert?” Alex asks Ben who huffs out like a horse.

“Probably not for a little bit.” He stretches and smiles at Eliza. “Thank you for this wonderful meal. I didn’t believe Kara when she said it tops thanksgiving.”

“Thank you Ben.”

Emma raises her glass to her Mom and the others copy her, sending their thanks.

“Sooooo, presents?” Ruby asks with a grin, making everyone chuckle and they head back into the back room.

Emma, Nia and Ayla quickly load the dishwasher, much to Eliza’s annoyance, but they argue that she should sit and relax because she did most of the hard work with cooking. Once they plan the different loads they make the coffees and bring them over with mints to the sofas and settle back down.

Alex kneels by the tree again and picks up a small ring box.

“So-”

“Actually, Alex, can I give you mine?” Sam asks and Alex's head snaps to her in confusion.

“Er, sure?”

“Okay, well, a lot has happened since thanksgiving and I want to do this properly, mainly because I didn’t have everyone’s blessing at the time.” Sam smiles over at Emma and kneels in front of Alex. “I cannot imagine waking up without you by my side, we’ve been through a lot but with you by my side, I know I can face anything. You are my whole world and-” Sam pulls out a ring box and opens it. “Alexandra Danvers, will you marry me?”

Alex bursts into laughter and tears as she nods. “Of course!” They kiss and hold each other. Alex pulls away and laughs again. “I wondered where my ring went!” Sam slides it onto Alex’s finger and beams at her. “And actually-” Alex picks up the ring box beside her. “You beat me to it. Again.”

Sam chuckles and Emma snuggles happily into Diana’s side.

“Growing up, I knew something was missing but I could never figure out what it was. It was like this little hole in my heart and when I met you, that hole started to fill and heal. When you told me you loved me I felt whole. You complete me and I never want to go a day without you by my side.” Alex opens the box, revealing a beautiful oval diamond ring. “Samatha Aries, will you do me the absolute honour in marrying me?”

Sam sniffs as tears roll down her cheeks and she nods quickly. “Yes! Yes!”

Emma claps with the Superfriends and beams at the pair, wiping her own face which is wet with tears. She places a hand over her heart and feels grateful to have witnessed the proposal.

She snuggles happily into her girlfriend, but her eyes instinctively seek out emotional green ones before snapping away. She does notice how Lena fiddles with the long necklace but turns her thoughts back to Sam and Alex as they break apart and face the group.

“Congratulations!” J’onn cheers and claps with everyone.

“Thank you.” Alex beams and Sam stays by her side. “Shall we open more presents or?”

“PLEASEEEE!” Ruby whines jokingly and Alex reaches for one.

“Pwesents! Pwesents!” Mary claps and soon the room is filled with wrapping paper again.

Emma screws some tightly in her hand as Nia admires a necklace Emma got her. The blonde takes aim and throws the ball at Alex’s head.

“OW!” Alex yelps and Emma snorts, raising her hands to protect herself when Alex throws it back.

“Girls!” Eliza says strictly and tries to hide the smile on her face as Mary picks some paper up and tries throwing it at Alex.

“Can you slide the really big box over?” Emma signs and Alex points at a small one.

“This one?”

Emma rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

“Oh, you mean, this one?” Alex points at an even smaller one, making some chuckle. Emma raises an eyebrow and Alex gives in, sliding the big, long box over. Emma turns to Robyn and motions for her to open it.

“That’s really for me? Oh no, Em, you’ve already gotten me so much I couldn’t possibly-”

Emma places her hand on Robyn’s shoulder.

Taking a deep breath Robin leans down and starts pulling the wrapping paper off. Opening the lid she freezes.

“No, you didn’t…” Robyn’s voice is low and her face scrunches up as her eyes fill with tears.

“What is it?” Ruby asks and tries to see.

Robyn unlocks the guitar case and delicately lifts up a beautiful acoustic guitar, placing it on her lap. “Em, I-”

“Please accept it. You helped me so much when I was in my darkest moments. This is the least I could do.”

Alex, Kara and Lena watch Emma sign and all three of their shoulders fall.

Robyn leans over and kisses Emma’s cheek. “Thank you.” She plucks the strings. “You’ve already tuned it?”

Emma nods with a grin and leans back into Diana’s arms. She looks over at her sisters, who immediately perk up, hiding there crestfallen expressions.

“Can you play something for us, please?” Lucy asks excitedly.

Robyn obliges and starts playing Leave Your Lover by Sam Smith.

Emma bobs her head along and starts breathing with the notes. Suddenly a hum escapes her lips and she shoots up.

Robyn smiles at her and keeps strumming.

“Try again.” Diana whispers and rests her chin on Emma’s shoulder

Emma swallows and breathes along with the chorus, she manages to hum a few more notes before her voice gives out again.

Robyn finishes the song and everyone claps. Kara takes her glasses off to wipe under her eyes and Robyn studies her intently.

“Wow!” Lucy smiles. “That was amazing!” Robyn’s cheeks heat up and she shyly ducks her head.

Diana sniffs and Emma turns her face to her. “I didn’t think I’d ever hear your voice like that.”

“I agree, it’s encouraging.” Brainy gives them a relieved smile.

Robyn continues to strum the guitar as more gifts are handed out and she watches Kara shyly hand Ben her present. He opens it and beams at her.

“Wow! Thank you honey.” He leans over and gently kisses her lips. Kara pulls away with a giddy smile and goes to point at the different camera lenses when Robyn calls over to her.

“Hey Kara?”

Kara’s eyes snap to the brunette. “Yea?” Kara answers and fiddles with her glasses.

“Has anyone ever told you how much you look like Supergirl?”

Everyone momentarily freezes before Kara bursts out laughing. “They have actually but I’m nowhere near as pretty as her, so-”

“Nah you are just as pretty. Maybe it’s the glasses?” Robyn tilts her head and Emma glances over at J’onn. He nods, confirming that Robyn has connected the dots.

“Have you met Supergirl?” Ruby asks intrigued.

“I have actually! Quite up close too.” Robyn continues to pluck the strings and grins. “I was minding my own business in my flat, apartment for you guys, when suddenly Supergirl crashed through my wall looking for Emma! Dust covered every surface leaving a nice Supergirl hole.”

“Hey! It was through your balcony window!” Kara cries out and Robyn’s smile widens. Seeing this Kara stutters and her eyes grow as large as plates.

“How would you know that?” Robyn teases.

“Because I work closely with Supergirl and-”

“Kara, it’s fine, she figured it out.” J’onn tries to reassure her.

“But? How?” Nia asks and Lucy looks at Robyn in awe.

“Well, maybe don’t carry scolding hot trays with your bare hands that would singe the skin off mere mortals? Just a suggestion.” Robyn shugs. “Oh and Emma getting superpowers and how upset you were that you had just missed her, that was a big giveaway.” Robyn says. “Next you’re gonna tell me Diana is Wonder Woman!”

When her comment doesn’t get a reaction Robyn’s head snaps to Emma and Diana and she stops playing.

“You’re-?”

“Yup.” Diana says with a sly grin.

“And I got drunk at Thanksgiving and said how sexy Wonder Woman was and how she is on my list?”

“You did.” Diana says in a low, seductive voice, causing Emma to jokingly wrap her arms possessively around her, making Diana chuckle.

“I need a drink.” Robyn groans and drops her head. “This is a lot to take in.”

Lucy gets up and sits beside the brunette. “Welcome to the club.” She bumps her shoulder into the Brit.

“Thanks.”

“We’ll save the mountains of paperwork you’ll need to sign for later.” Lucy teases.

“Hmm, I figured.” Robyn raises her head and looks over at Kara. “I promise your secret is safe with me.”

“Thank you.” Kara says gratefully and Ben places an arm around her protectively.

“Who wants dessert?” Eliza asks to break the tension and everyone responds positively.

Emma nuzzles her face into Diana’s and smiles at her.

“Oh and Emma?” Eliza calls causing her daughter to spin around and face her. “Would it be a good idea to set Robyn’s bed up in your room? There’s another blow up mattress we haven’t used yet.”

Emma nods and goes to stand. “Shall I come with you?” Diana asks and Emma nods again.

“I’ll bring my bag up too.” Robyn gently places her new guitar in the case and follows the couple upstairs. “This house is seriously amazing. You grew up here?”

Emma nods and opens her bedroom door.

“Oh wow.” Robyn exclaims as she looks around and Emma and Diana clear a space for her by Diana’s side of the bed which has the most room.

Emma grabs the box containing the blow up mattress but it seems to be wedged tight. They laugh and try to wrestle it free for a while until a soft knock sounds on the door.

Diana and Robyn are unable to answer with how much they are laughing so Emma goes to open the door, revealing a nervous looking Alex.

“Hey, do you mind if we talk?” Alex motions to the office she and Sam are sleeping in.

Emma nods and signs to the two brunettes that she’ll be back. She follows her sister and sits on the bed by the window.

“Alright, so-” Alex runs a hand through her hair and sits facing Emma. “I have another present for you but I’d rather you open it in private.” Alex reaches under her pillow and pulls out a wrapped book.

Emma takes it and unwraps it. She tilts her head at the journal in her hands.

“Open it.” Alex says softly and Emma complies. Revealing pages upon pages of Alex’s handwriting, doodles and photographs. “I know I did the video logs but this felt right. To write down my thoughts, memories, how I feel about certain things. I wanted to make it up to you for reading yours.”

Emma closes the book and opens her arms to her sister. They embrace and hold onto each other for a while until Diana knocks on the door.

“Hey, we managed to get the bed set up and your Mom wants to know what desserts you want?”

“Thank you. We will be down in a moment.” Emma signs and Diana closes the door behind her. “Thank you.” Emma signs to her sister and sniffs heavily.

“You’re welcome. I mean, it should come with a warning before you read it and then you’ll probably want to throw it across the room or burn it cause I really go into some detail about certain things and-”

Emma places her hand on top of Alex’s to help her sister’s ramble. “Take a breath.”

Alex does so and laughs. “We better go get some dessert before it’s all gone!”

Emma nods and takes Alex’s hand, momentarily placing the journal in her room before they head downstairs together.

“Finally!” Kara yells happily. “Eliza wouldn’t start serving until you’d come back down.”

“I want everyone to be treated equally.” Eliza explains with a wink. “Who wants pie and who wants yule log?” Eliza calls out and Emma motions for the cinnamon apple pie. The plates are passed around and the group eats while the presents continue to be opened.

“Thank you for the painting.” Diana whispers softly. She had been surprised when Alex had called her name and it was a gift from Emma. “I’m guessing you painted it while I was at work?”

Emma nods and nuzzles her cheek again.

“And this one is for Lena!” Alex stretches to give the stunned raven haired woman the small present.

“Oh.” Lena whispers and reads the label.

‘Dear Lena, happy christmas. Emma x’

Emma nervously watches Lena carefully open the gift with shaking fingers and when she pulls the paper back, her eyes widen when the bracelet is revealed. Lena remains frozen as she stares at it.

“Lee?” Sam asks and leans over. “Oh-” Sam gasps out when she sees the design on the bracelet. “That’s… pretty.”

“Can we see?” Kara asks. “Put it on!”

Lena does so, with the help of Sam due to her fingers trembling so much and holds her wrist up.

Lena’s eyes connect with Emma and the familiar warmth spreads through her. “Thank you.” Lena says softly and plays with the chain on her neck. Emma nods and lets out the breath she had been holding. She also doesn’t realise how tightly Diana is holding her, or the barely there scowl on her face as she analyses the bracelet.

Alex’s eyes flick between the three women and starts to sense an unease, like a growing tension appears between them. She turns to her fiancé who gently shakes her head and reaches for another gift. “This one is for-”

The gift opening continues until there are no more presents left under the tree.

“Oh sweetheart, this is too much.” Eliza looks at her little pile and the other little piles around the room but Emma continues to smile.

“It’s different things from our trip to Europe.” Emma explains. “You should have seen the amount Diana and I bought each other!” She turns to smile at her girlfriend but catches a sad look in Diana’s eyes that quickly disappears. Emma tilts her head questioningly but Diana ignores it.

“Oh yea, it almost became a game to see if we could buy items for each other without each other knowing!” Diana laughs, but to Emma, it sounds forced.

“Must have been nice seeing all those different cultures?” Nia says wishfully.

“The best.” Diana says, gently squeezing Emma’s hand.

“What’s for dinner?” Kara asks, making Eliza chuckle.

“It’s leftovers and I baked some bread this morning.”

Kara springs to her feet and goes to help Eliza get the spread ready. Alex and Sam quickly follow to help and Emma motions at Robyn to get her attention off Lucy for a moment.

“Do you want to play together?” Emma signs and points at the piano.

“Yea!” Robyn grins, she grabs her new guitar and the pair head to the piano.

Emma starts playing and Robyn joins in. Filling the room with beautiful, soothing melodies. The Superfriends listen and move or tap along.

The pair play a few songs until the food is ready. Once they finish the last notes the group applaud them.

“Thank you, thank you very much!” Robyn grins and Emma turns around to smile at them. Her eyes search for Diana, but her girlfriend is no longer in the room.

“She went outside.” J’onn softly tells her and Emma nods her thanks.

Opening the back door Emma spots Diana leaning against the railing, watching the sea move in the distance, reflecting the bright moonlight.

Emma approaches and stands beside her, making her presence known. But Diana keeps her gaze fixed on the horizon.

Emma shuffles her feet, feeling slightly anxious by the silent treatment but brushes it off as her insecurities playing tricks on her and just tries to enjoy the moment. Emma places her head on Diana’s shoulder and smiles when Diana gently kisses her.

“I love you, Astéri.” Diana whispers and Emma squeezes her hand.

They continue to stand in silence until the door opens behind them, making Emma straighten. “Heya!” Nia waves. “Sorry to bother you, we are thinking of playing a game. Do you wanna join?”

Emma gazes at Diana who looks back at her before nodding at Nia. “Sounds good.”

“Yay!” Nia claps and goes back into the house announcing to the group the couple were joining them.

Diana goes to follow but Emma keeps a hold of her hand, causing Diana to look back at her.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, sorry, it’s just been a crazy day.”

“I know right? How about tomorrow it is just us? We go for a hike, take a picnic, just you and I.”

Diana gives her a small smile and nods. “That sounds nice.”

Emma smiles back and leads Diana into the house. They grab some food and settle back on the sofa as Winn sets up the Playstation game ‘That’s you!’

Laughter erupts as they make their own profiles and take their photos. Some use the filters and create funny illusions that Emma likens to the mirrors you see at carnivals. The first round begins and questions get asked. The group have to type their answers into their devices, some from being reasonably sensible to utterly ridiculous and everyone votes on their favourite.

Emma ends up in the lead as the second round begins. It is a drawing round and Emma’s photo gets picked. She sits back and waits for everyone to draw whatever the subject is and silently chuckles at the level of concentration on their faces. Finally each drawing is revealed and everyone cheers and laughs at the different pieces of artwork. Next it is Emma’s role to choose her favourite and she pauses while deciding which one to go for.

“Come on Em!” Ben yells. “You know which one you need to choose!”

“Yea, not the one with the red hat!” Kara quips cheekily causing Ben to give her a look of betrayal.

“You’re gonna run out of time.” J’onn warns Emma and she looks between two she likes the look of. Finally she chooses, revealing the artist’s name.

“Ah well done Lena!” Eliza cheers and the raven haired woman smiles at her.

Diana shuffles a bit beside Emma and a new round begins. This time questions are asked who would be more likely to do something.

“Who’d order takeout and pretend they cooked it?” Lucy reads out and Emma grins.

She presses Alex’s name and waits.

The tokens get revealed and Alex stares at the screen with an open mouth due to almost everyone choosing her. “I would not!”

“Sure babe.” Sam giggles and kisses Alex’s cheek.

“Who’d schedule every hour of your easy-going roadtrip?” Kara reads out and immediately shares a knowing look with Emma. They press their phones at the same time and wait.

“Well I know this one is definitely not me.” Alex says assuringly and waits for the tokens to fall. “WHAT?!” Alex yells in outrage when all but her chosen token falls on her. “I can be easy going!”

Emma lets out a burst of air from her mouth which suddenly transforms into a laugh. Everyone's heads snap to hers and the room is uplifted with a buzz of happiness. The round continues and Emma is still one of the front runners, closely followed by Brainy and Lena.

“Ooo it’s the drawing round!” Lucy exclaims as the last round begins and poses with her phone. Each contestant has been given a different instruction of how to pose.

Emma ignores her phone for a moment and raises her hand to feel her throat, still unused to the sensation of her vocal cords working.

The seed of hope within her feels like it’s starting to grow and bloom and Emma starts to believe in it.

Glancing down at her phone she snorts at the text saying she needed to take a photo of her looking angelic. She takes the photo and waits for the round to begin. They have a limited amount of time to draw a bit on each photo until the round ends and a winner is chosen.

The Superfriends howl with laughter at some of the results and Emma silently laughs with them. Feeling happy that today has turned out so well.

(Part Fifty Eight)

[benayoung]

eunkyungxbe​:

she glimpses it for a moment, a split second, the real nayoung, the one the former trainee has, apparently, gotten so adept at hiding behind the perfect girl group façade. is this the kind of skillset they teach at idol school? eunkyung had heard the occasional horror story from her mentors in school, actors who threw fits because their lip gloss was a shade too light, idols who threw hair brushes at stylists because their dye job took just a bit too long, and always the celebrities with the sweetest, cleanest reputations among their fans. she’d been prepared for it on a set, behind a makeup chair; but this setting is entirely. this feels personal, as if her own tenacity and integrity is what’s being put up for debate.

eunkyung glances at hyejin in that moment, as if to say look! did you see that! she’s playing us! she’s playing all of us! you had to have seen that! but there is no indication that hyejin noticed anything awry, and by the time eunkyung looks back at nayoung, the crack in her mask is resealed, leaving alabaster fakery in its place. it only serves to fray eunkyung’s patience even further. how many people has nayoung fooled with this act? and how many more will follow? and if this is what she has to look forward to in this industry, does she really want to keep at it?

i do think you have less experience than hyejin and i. nayoung provides the most obvious information as if it’s justification for the snub, as if she is some renowned idol producer with the qualifications to make such decisions. but i don’t want you to disappear. even eunkyung almost believes her on that one. almost. but her expression is still openly skeptical, and a hair hurt, the way any normal person would be if someone they had previously looked up to looked them in the eye just to spurn them on national television. i thought the line distribution was fair, but if you have any suggestions… that one is easy enough to translate: i am staunch in my ideas, but if anything changes, you’re taking the fall for it.

eunkyung’s brow twitches as she tugs the lyrics sheet toward her, the sound of paper sliding across the floor uncharacteristically loud as it passes through the tension in the room. she scans the page thoroughly, hearing the song play in her head, and after several moments of thick silence, that crooked, humorless smile returns again.

“seriously…the only way to change anything would be to take lines away from hyejin-ssi, and i’m not gonna do that.” the more frustrated she gets, the more apparent her family’s rural accent becomes. she slides the page back into the center of their trio, though not all the way back to nayoung, deliberately avoiding being in her vicinity until she herself can feel comfortable doing so.

“to be honest, nayoung-ssi, there’s been something that’s been bothering me,” she looks up to carry eye contact with her teammate once more, giving her hair a small flip to keep it out of her eyes, “do you think you’re better than everyone here?”

nayoung looks at eunkyung expectantly as she inspects her lyrics sheet, and she honestly does think eunkyung will want to change something, and she honestly is open to it. she doesn’t know why she’s surprised when eunkyung mentions not wanting to take lines away from hyejin. there’s no way to change anything else? “why?” she questions aloud. “you don’t want any of my lines?” of course, nayoung would like to keep her lines, but she wants to win this teamwork challenge even more, and now she’s starting to believe eunkyung doesn’t care about the lines at all and just wants to be difficult.

it’s frustrating, but nayoung inhales and exhales through her nose, then takes another look at the line distribution herself to see what they can change for eunkyung. she weighs the options in her head: give eunkyung more lines with the potential of their performance being lower quality, but look like a good team player, or refuse to budge? the judges love eunkyung. would they like it if eunkyung has more lines, be it from a performance or a team perspective? maybe.

she’s about to make a suggestion when eunkyung speaks again, and her head snaps up to look at the younger girl. do you think you’re better than everyone here?

that’s it. she really does just want to make nayoung look bad. nayoung won’t fall for it. maybe it’s suspicious for her to take a long time to answer, but she thinks it’s reasonable enough to consider this question, because she truthfully doesn’t even know her honest answer. she’s not better than everyone. is she better than eunkyung? yes, she thinks so, but the judges think otherwise. she doesn’t understand that, but she has to try to accept their expertise. they know something she doesn’t. fine. it angers her, but fine. “no,” she answers. “if i was better than everyone i would be in first place, or i would’ve debuted already. i do think i’m more experienced than many people here and that my experience is valuable, whether to just myself or others. you don’t have to like my methods, but can you honestly say i haven’t made you want to improve?” she waits. maybe eunkyung will say no, all nayoung has done is discourage her, but after she helped her (at least in nayoung’s eyes) eunkyung got called center material. would eunkyung have earned that compliment without any of nayoung’s advice? they will never know that, but eunkyung resents her for something. if she’s smart she’ll let that resentment motivate her to be better. 

that’s a good enough answer as far as nayoung is concerned. if eunkyung wants different, she’s free to push, but nayoung insists on maintaining her composure, and it’s her opinion that eunkyung will only dig her grave if she continues. she’s free to, though. nayoung has no problem burying her. 

she turns her attention back to their line distribution, and looks it over, fast-forwarding through the song in her head. “now,” she makes up her mind, and slides the sheet back over to eunkyung, holding her pen beside a chunk of her lyrics. “if you want another part, this might work for you.” it’s four lines, currently nayoung’s, sandwiched in between two of hyejin’s parts:

From the start I objected to the doubts I don’t do no witch hunts, I don’t take that Because my aggrieved tears will make you laugh The fake you, I see through that mask

she suspects eunkyung might enjoy that last line in particular, given her attempts to call nayoung out today. “your decision.”

[secretlyblue12]

Day 1: Chase

First day of DSMP tickletober! Very exciting. I haven’t written a tickle fic in a long time, so I’m a bit rusty, but hoping to do alright XD This one is of Tommy and Wilbur because it seemed fitting. There is a bit of teasing in it, but with Wilbur I feel as if that is a bit expected, I can’t think of any other warnings though. :)

“Oh, Tommy! You better be quicker than that, I’m right on your tail.”

Oh fuck. Shit, shit, shit. Tommy was screwed. Absolutely royally fucked, he thought, begging his legs to move faster. It wasn’t really his fault- well, okay, maybe he had been messing with Wilbur’s things while he was out, but he hadn’t meant to snap one of his guitar strings. And now Wilbur was going to kill him, he knew it, he could see the evil, mischievous, demonic glint in his eye when he glanced over his shoulder.

They had looped through the entire house twice by now, Phil would tell them off for making a mess but that was the last thing on his mind. That was an issue for later him, right now him was in the middle of a vicious battle fighting for his life.

He ran into the living room, circling around the couch and ending up with him on one end with Wil on the other. “You don’t have to do this Wilbur, think about the children. It’s not a big deal, I can- No!”

Tommy circled around to the other side when Wilbur launched towards him, reversing their positions.

“I am thinking about the children, one in particular who needs a proper punishment for breaking his big brother's things.” He said, jerking to one side to try to fake Tommy out, chuckling when the boy in question flinched and almost fell for it. “Tommy, this is your last chance to come here and I might go easy on you.”

That was a lie if Tommy ever heard one. “No you won’t! I might be stupid but I’m not an idiot. You’re just trying to make it easier on yourself, but I, Tommy the biggest man to ever- Wilbur!”

Honestly, that was quite rude, Tommy figured. He had been mid-speech, who tackles a man mid-speech? He didn’t have long to think about it though before he was squealing and squirming away.

“Whihilbuhur naha! Nohot fair,” He whined, desperately trying to push the hands away from his sides. “I didn’t mehean to! Stohop it.”

“Awee, you didn’t mean to? Well, I don’t mean this either then, or this, or this” He said, poking at a different spot every few seconds, smiling at how without fail Tommy would always jump at the new attack. “Oh, look! Your face is going all red. Are you blushing Tommy? Does a little tickle tickle tickling get Tom-Tom embarrassed? Oh, how sweet.”

Tommy felt his face get warmer at the teases. “SHUHut up! I aham not!” Fuck Wilbur, he decided. He was a twat and a no-good lousy mean bitch of a brother who didn’t know anything ever. Tommy shut his eyes so he didn’t have to see the pure joy on his face.

Wilbur leaned down close to coo in Tommy’s ear, delighting the how he squeaked and tucked his chin down in response. “You’re not? Well, it sure looks like you are to me, Tommy. Are you sure feeling my fingies wiggling over your tummy aren’t making you flustered? Oh, you’re giggling more now. Does me talking about it make it tickle more? But you’re so happy, look at that smile Tommy! How could I stop when it’s obvious you like this so much.”

Tommy shook his head, bumping his and Wil’s foreheads together.

“No? What are you saying no to? That you don’t like it? Does me talking about it not make it ten times more ticklish for you? If not then you won’t mind me keeping on then, surely. How about here, does here tickle more? Oh! Your laugh got all squeaky there,” Wilbur smiled at Tommy fondly, though he couldn’t see it with his face all scrunched up. “I remember you always had so many tickle spots, but every rib would get a different response out of you. Do you remember which ones got what types of responses? Look, I’m on the top ones now and your laugh is all squeaky, but if I move down a little bit, riiight here, yeah! See look- there it is. Makes you snort just like Tech.”

Tommy twisted and turned on his back while Wilbur dug his fingers in between his ribs. Mean! Mean, and rude, and horrible, and, and, and, well, Tommy couldn’t think of anything else at the moment. He was a little preoccupied. “Naha! Wihilbehy, Ihi don’t!” He protested, knowing damn well that he did. It wasn’t fair though, Wilbur had always loved it when Tommy laughed so hard he snorted, but Tommy hated it. That didn’t stop it from happening of course, but Wilbur didn’t need to bring it up! “Shuhut it you aharse.”

Wilbur gasped dramatically next to Tommy’s ear, making him jump. “Tommy,” He said in a half-whisper. “Did you just swear at me? Well that’s just unacceptable, isn’t it? Who taught you that?”

“Yohou dihid!”

“Me? Well, that can’t be true. I would never. Do you know what little liars get Tommy?”

Tommy peeked at Wilbur through his squinted eyes and giggled in anticipation as Wilbur’s fingers slowed to a stop. What was the man planning? Surely he wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easy. “What?”

Wilbur didn’t say anything, and for a moment all Tommy could do was watch on in horror as he took a deep breath and quickly scooted down far enough to face plant into Tommy’s stomach through his shirt.

Tommy all but screamed before dissolving into a giggle fit. Not only was the fact Wilbur was giving him a raspberry bad enough on its own, but his shirt made the feeling spread throughout his entire body. He flailed, pushing and Wil’s shoulders and head, trying to get him anywhere else, but he didn’t have any force behind the movements. His entire body felt limp under the attack, and in the end, he just held onto Wilbur’s hair while he planted raspberry after raspberry all around his belly.

Wilbur didn’t stop until Tommy’s laugher had grown almost not existent other than gasps for breath, and his grip grew slack in his hair. “Okay, okay. I’m done now,” he promised, rubbing his hands up and down Tommy’s sides soothingly. “No more. I hope you learned your lesson though.”

Tommy shuffled until he could lean up against Wilbur and tucked himself into the olders chest. “Mhm, yeah, whatever. Don’t break your stuff.”

Wilbur let him get comfy, settling them both back. “Did me tickling you really make you that tired? I might have to do it more often then.”

Tommy felt his cheeks, which were only just starting to cool off, heat back up at the words and shoved his face into Wil’s neck. “Shut up.”

“That’s not a no then?”

“I hate you.”

“Be nice Tommy. I said that was all for now but if you keep this up I might have a new lesson to teach you.”

Tommy weighed his options, gluing himself to his brother's side. Okay, so he’d let Wilbur win this one, but he’d bring it back up later than night. For now, he had to nap.