#I am 35

[lilbit-of-kizzy]

Ok which of you fuckers planted the "supine is on your s(u)pine, prone is on your pronis??" Hmm? Who did it???

Cause now I can't read either one with bursting into stupid little giggles 😂

[imsodishy]

burned my finger doing something my mom specifically told me not to do so now I gotta pretend I didn't do that at all

[delcat177]

You are a rock star and a scholar OP, thank you

For the record, I wasn't in chat rooms in 1998, I was 11, but I knew about clearing my browser because our Windows 95 didn't have much memory and all those entries took up valuable space on Netscape

Computer Rule Of the Time: Don't make too many new files, try to reuse the ones you have. You can't ever really delete something, it just shrinks 'em down real small, eh?

We did our best

This is the most 1998 thing I’ve read in my life.

[kendrilybee]

I ate an entire bag of haribo gummies and it was a MISTAKE I have REGRETS and I WILL DO IT AGAIN

[doctorsiren]

Have you considered wrightworth, but as old men?

best I can do is hot middle-aged men 😁

[madwomansapologist]

Please share your headcanon about gale's kinks!!!!

gale's kinks/turn ons

Navigation | More Wizard of Waterdeep | AO3

synopsis: A deep dive into what the smart wizard man think it's hot. Yes, the brain rot is that serious.

warnings: i'm sick so if this isn't good i will blame the pills. testing a new format. this is about sex, don't interact if you're a minor. remember: if you kink shame me i will get horny just to spite you.

PRAISE KINK

That's a man willing to write poetry about your body, mind and soul. His tongue has only two purposes on life, and both of them involve making you see stars. If his mouth isn't in use, he will be praising you.

And when Gale feels so good he can't even speak, isn't that a praise on itself?

But that we all know. His reaction to receiving praise is what makes me want to bite my fingers off.

Gale Dekarios knows his value as a wizard, but not as a man. His ambition isn't a consequence of his desire to pursue more, but to be more. To deserve love, he must prove his worth. As we all know, it often doesn't end in a good way.

I don't think Mystra ever wasted her precious time to assure Gale of the contrary. And when she did, it wasn't about Gale Dekarious: it was about Gale of Waterdeep, her chosen. How his control of the weave was impressive, how he could conjure any sort of images, how his illusions could fool everyone.

So when he receives praise for any other part of his life that isn't his academic pursues, a part of his brain burns. Be as intricate as his poetry or as lascive as one can be, Gale can feel his knees getting weak. Weaker.

FOOD PLAY

Not only Gale loves to cook and bake, but he loves the whole idea of being responsible for making someone stronger and healthier. Hunger is a hurtful thing, that he knows, and he don't want anyone else to deal with it.

It comes hand to hand with his praise kink. When you eat something good, you don't need to use words: your whole body shows it. He would apreciate the compliments, nonetheless.

To spoon feed you would be such a turn on. It's so intimate, such a show of trust and care, nothing but human. The way your mouth opened for the spoon, how your tongue licked it clean. Can you blame him?

After helping you eat, it would be his turn to end his hunger. You don't mind being his plate, do you? Gale promises to lick you clean. You always taste so sweet for him, what's a bit of honey to add to that?

OLFACTOPHILIA

Your scent can turn him into a fucking mess. There is something so human about it. So natural and real about it. Is just you.

After a fight, when you are covered in sweat and blood, he can't help himself. To be around you can make him drool. You fresh from your shower, smelling just as you and not as any perfume. When you spend the day laying around and is too lazy to get clean.

The amount of times his cheeks burned red because he breathed in when you walked past and a companion noticed can't be numbered.

Gale prefers to undress you rather you doing it yourself. That means he will be able to breath deep against your undies before getting them off of you.

Wanna get him as hard as a rock in mere seconds? Give him a underwear you used for a long time. Just threw it at his face and go on with your day. He will be quick to follow.

Gale loves how he can still smell you on his upper lip after going down on you. If you squirt, he will cum on his trousers. I don't make the rules.

FACE-SITTING/FACE FUCKING

Again: his mouth has only two uses. Is almost therapeutic for him. Just get on top of him, use his mouth however you want. The place in between your legs seen perfect for him to die on.

Gale Dekarios is a service top looking for a pillow princess/prince. I VOLUNTEER!

FINGERS IN MOUTH

You know that feeling of not knowing what to do next? Where to put your hands, what to do with your mouth? Since he prefers to be the one doing things, this can be a problem. A problem that can be easily solved by your pretty fingers.

It can hit even harder if he's in the process of casting something and you stop him by just putting your fingers into his mouth. Gale won't even know hot to react. Actually, he might suck them.

Ok, he might have a oral obsession. What are you, Freud?

BONDAGE

Hand to hand with that sort of anxiety about what he must do next. Make sure Gale stays put in place and use him. Remember guys, your service tops also deserve to be fucked around a bit.

Magic restrains or ropes, and make sure to do some beautiful knots. He could break free from them, but Gale won't desobey. Not after you spend so long getting him ready for you.

shadowheart turn ons/kinks

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

BALDUR’S GATE 3 TAGLIST: @citrusbunnies

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[silkysong]

lammy lammy lammy

[madeleinefjall]

The crimson dragon

[nsewell]

i literally wish i was a nepo baby who could afford a downtown luxury apartment without any roommates and im tired of pretending i don't

[c0smiccl0wn]

idk what this is but i wanted to draw something sun and moon

[dykeomania]

PLS write smut for Hazel from bottoms..I need her so bad I fear..maybe like subtop!hazel..is her having a strap too far..I need her..

this is not. a full fledged fic. but this is the first time in a sec that ive let myself be inspired by an ask. this is weirdly switcher and just pure gay-sexier than it is subby!hazel. lmk if you want things to get subbier, bc i can probably do that. but for rn i have.. this image.. and i want you to walk with me on this but also hold my hand because i'm #supershy,

(minors [including 17 year olds 🙏🏽] dni fr, under the cut: not that proofread. strap lol (r!r), foul language, breeding... language... (my bad) (hazel has a strap tho), subtop!hazel except i could've made this shit so much worse so i guess switch!hazel but like, switch!reader, idk everyone's just a whore. there's an "i love you" (or.. multiple, i guess). there's a mirror. there's a vibrator. purely stream of consciousness, i don't even think the position they're fucking in makes physical sense fr. i was bored and i was thinking, so i wrote a lot. this whole thing is not realistic btw. i have very little confidence that hazel's blowing anyone's back out, but. it's my first day out in a min so i'm rusty. all respect to the community. next time when i pull up, i'll offer something a little more tame and saccharine as opposed to [exaggerated p*rnstar moans!!!]. reblogs and whatnot appreciated.)

so, i have this .. picture.

of you putting a bullet vibe in the pocket of hazel's strap before she fucks you from behind for the first time.

she eventually finds the confidence to blow your back out, and tbh, you think it's gonna end with you seeing stars because you can already hear the fucking lottery machines going off in your head. she's fucking you so well, and hazel's problem is that you're letting her know.

at first she thinks she's going crazy. but those fucking mewls into the pillow over how deep she is, how she's making you feel so good, how you've missed her so much, are sending shocks through her clit that the vibe keeps amplifying, everytime her pelvis hits your ass.

if she thrusts hard enough, which god knows she does, it almost makes her buckle over.

you're left clenching the sheets, and gasping against the linen while she fucks you, taking you in a way that's so uncharacteristically perverse that you don't even have the brain capacity to ask yourself why you didn't ask her to take you like this, sooner. her thrusts are quick and shallow, her words breathy and a little sharp. with every jolt of your body forwards as she experimentally blows your back out, it's like you feel yourself becoming more and more removed from this fucking planet. you can't help but cry -- sob, even -- as she makes you into a mess of limbs, leaving you tugging at your tits in one split second, and gripping at the sheets the next.

something happens, though.

where her hips rut into yours in deep, hard thrusts, spaced out by what feels like eternities, you can hear her. she's moaning now, breath quickening and chest rippling everytime her crotch hits yours at a particular angle. she's mewling, and unless you're hallucinating from how fucked up you are, you can hear her --

"fuck... f--uuh--ck, fuck, fuckfuck..."

-- silently beginning to whimper.

the girl goes from bullying your cunt to burying her strap deep enough in it to make the apex of its curve nudge against your g-spot, in a way that leaves your mouth hanging wide open with nothing spilling out of it maybe other than drool, but...

it's the slick warmth of hazel's back pressed nearly flush against yours and the heat of her breath against your shoulder that makes your eyes flutter open, facing your reflection in the floor-length mirror stationed across from hazel's bed.

hazel's in it so deep, you can't even see the strap anymore. and by no exaggeration, it's like an earthquake pulses through her body everytime she nudges her hips into your ass, making your vision blurry. she's rutting into you. greedily grinding her strap into your cunt in the effort of chasing her own high.

it wasn't a secret that hazel was sensitive. more often than not, the poor girl writhed against your mouth whenever she let you put it on her ("let you" is a loose sentence -- she begs for it, sometimes). you don't even know why you're surprised that your girlfriend is getting this close over having a bullet vibe pressed against her clit, hardly protected by fabric. "b--babe--"

what sounds like a plea, amongst the feeling of hazel's thighs trembling against the back of yours, inspires something sinister inside you.

you wind your hips against her, pressing back against the strap and the toy. the sight of your ass rolling against hazel's pelvis, combined with how good it feels is gonna actually, like, make hazel fucking--

"don't cum."

she loses her breath, entirely, and her rhythm, apparently. she slows, as if that was her body's instinct to obey your orders, despite the string of breaths that tumbles out of her mouth. "n-- wha-- fuck, no, nonono--"

you wind your hips deeper into hers, extracting a moan from your own throat -- fuck, maybe your gut, since that's how deep you could feel her. you press your ass into her until you feel the buzz of the vibe against folds, the frequency of it changing and humming as you press it further into her clit. "y--es," you grit. "don't fucking cum yet, hazel."

the dull, rolling vibrations through the fabric of the strap draw hazel's eyes into the back of her head, and then closed. she's grunting now -- or all of the above -- and she tries her best to unchap her lips, fruitlessly dragging over them. the little breaths she takes through them only brings them back to being puffy, pink, and a gateway of noise that gives evidence to struggle.

"gonna let me count you down?" you puff out your sentence in one breath, and hazel can fucking hear the grin in your still-fucked-out tone and it makes her whine louder.

"yeah? gonna fuckin' let me count you down so you can cum in me, haze?"

cum.. in you. three words that you'd never even fucking uttered to her before this, and that she never fucking thought she would ever hear and.. it looks like she can't complain, because her eyes roll into the back of her head and hazel swears that she -- at least, briefly -- meets jesus christ, "oh my god--," hazel slurs, hips rolling impossibly deeper into yours, it's a miracle she hasn't swabbed your cervix yet -- "ohmygod, oh my god--"

"three..."

ohfuck. ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck. it's the soft chorus that she whispers to herself as she starts to fuck herself into you, again, opting for thrusts as a means of trying to regain control with no consideration for your demise. the vision of her blurs in the mirror, and you feel your fists grasping at her sheets again.

"fuck--" you croak. "t--two.."

she pulls you further into her, and at this point, hazel's okay with being written off as a lost cause, 'cause fuck, it's not like she has a choice. the strap brief is soaked and it's entirely your fault, and god, she throws her head back. a mess of words, a mess of sensations, hazel just blurts, "oh my g--od--i love you--"

you burst out laughing at the random proclamation, admist everything.

she forces her head down to watch you, jaw hung open. and at this point, she's just speaking. rambling and slurring and gasping, tears-in-eyes-in-awe-and-all, as she watches you throw your ass back against her.

"iloveyou so much, you're so f--ucking hot, whatthefuck?--"

there's something weirdly sweet about it. something that makes your cunt clench around the strap in a way that hollows you out shortly thereafter, and lets hazel hit that fucking spot just right. before you know it, you're wherever hazel is, cunt fully creaming around the silicon.

"i love you--" you dumbly spit out a giggle, a gasp causing a steam of spit to cascade off your bottom lip and onto hazel's navy sheets. "babe," you warn. "ohfuck, ohmyfuckinggod, you're gonna make me cu---"

"fuckingsayone," hazel, unbelievably pleads while she unbelievably spears her strap into your cunt. "oh my fucking god, say one, please, please, pleaseplease--"

she starts begging. unprompted. "it's s-so good, it's so, so good, feels so fucking good, wanna c--um in you--" and she probably repeats it. probably repeats that she wants to cum in you until she's blue in the face and,

"o-one--"

until you let her.

the noise that's ripped from hazel's throat is .. embarrassing. virginal, almost. fully reverberates off the walls, and she trembles. her clit convulses against the vibe, twitching with every short stream of her release and she folds. poor girl was holding your hips for something -- for reassurance, to get a grip, dear life, perhaps? as her hips languidly fuck and press into the surface of your ass., rocking your near limp-frame after you've pretty much creamed all over her strap.

hazel hangs over you for god knows how long, dark hair shaggy and some strands stuck to her forehead in wavy wisps. cheeks flushed, and lower lip bitten to hell. the bullet vibe fucking dies, thank god almighty, because god knows she was not in any shape to reach down and turn it off.

she stays like that for a while, until she you feel her again. this time, only gentler, and much more like herself. soft hands caressing the skin of your back, her breath warm and shaky as she peppers a splay of kisses across your skin.

as you come from the surface of your own high, you feel yourself hum. still full of her, and dizzy with it. despite it, you manage -- slurring, slightly.

"haze?"

there's a hum, somewhere.

"did that really feel that good?"

hazel distantly nods, brown locks brushing against your back.

"uh.." hazel frowns, letting out a weak laugh. "y-yeah, honestly."

the mental note gets filed away somewhere deep in the haze of your brain and you grin, when you press your ass one against her just for shits and giggles and hear her gasp, from the sensitivity of it alone.

"that's my girl."

[namedoggo]

Now that the Zine is Out... It's Time... FRIGHTERS‼️

MY ZINE PIECES‼️‼️

Yep!! I did Fazbear Fright Pieces for the @happiestdayfnaf Zine, because someone's gotta Carry the Frighters 💪💪

You Don’t Know how Excited I am to Finally show these- I FINISHED BACK IN MARCH AND APRIL! Even with all the Months that Passed, I'm still Super Proud of what I did.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL- I also Did

STICKERS!! That's Right- I got to make a Sticker Sheet, including some of my Favorite FF Stories (and Into the Pit)

Unfortunately, I Don't think you'll be able to Buy this Separately- BUT you get it when you Buy the Merch Bundles so that's still pretty cool =]]

BUT THERE'S STILL MORE. That's right, not only did I get to make a Sticker Sheet, but I got to Draw

THE MIMIC‼️‼️ I got to do the Shaker Charm that'll be Made if (or when) the Zine reaches its Stretch Goal!! Originally I wasn't going to, but someone needed to take it over, and I was prepared for the Grind-

Ok NOW That's it! Sorry for such a Long Post, but I'm super Proud and Excited at all the Work I got to do for this Project!! This was the first Zine I've ever Done, and I'm so Happy I got to be a part of it.

PLEASE CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE ZINE!! EVERYONE WHO WORKED ON IT DID AMAZING!!

And please consider buying a Physical Copy if you Can- It's for a Great Cause =]

[mammoth-clangen]

So I don't post/reblog unrelated things to this blog, like ever (intentionally), but I'm making 1 (one) exception it's kinda related if u squint

Eons is a wonderful source of accessible information that i often use as a research jumping off point, and Creative Beast Studios make excellent quality prehistoric animal models!

They're so close to their goal and have 5 days left. So if anyone wants to buy a Mammoth, nows your chance! 🦣

[michellemisfit]

@gallacrafts Theme 35: Let’s Ride

Ian should really have clocked the teasing smirk on his husband’s face as Mickey pulled up outside Ian’s work, but it’s been a long day and Ian is fucking exhausted, so excuse him if he isn’t at his sharpest. He falls into the passenger seat with a brief ‘hi’ and a heavy sigh, immediately closing his eyes.

All he wants is to sleep through to Monday, but eventually Ian catches on to the excitement radiating off the man in the driver’s seat, drags his eyes open and turns his head, drawing breath to ask Mickey what’s going on. Which is when he sees… it.

“The fuck, Mickey?”

Mickey immediately bursts out laughing. “It’s you, see?”

No. Ian does not see.

“I found it at the gas station, by the check out! The packet said it’s a ginger! … Get it?” Mickey gleefully explains, and Ian? Well. Ian does not have the energy to deal with this right now, so he shakes his head, closes his eyes again, and tries to ignore his husband’s continuous chortle.

He’ll get him back. After he’s had some sleep!

It takes Ian a lot longer than expected and several fruitless online searches - who knew cutsie car air fresheners were that fucking popular?? - but after clicking through seemingly hundreds of different ones - almost giving up and just buying the middle finger one cause… well… Mickey - he finally finds and orders the perfect one!

A grumpy black cat, with scruffy hair, blue eyes, and ridiculously angry eyebrows.

And the crowning glory? The cat is much shorter than the ginger!

“Oh, fuck off!” Mickey grumbles, while Ian beams, attaching the second air freshener to the rear view mirror of their car.

Mickey may bitch about how he’s not “a stupid fucking cat”, and later on that it “doesn’t even make sense. You actually are ginger!”, and even later still “And my eyebrows do not look like that!!”

And yet, Mickey doesn’t take them down.

In fact, Ian often catches Mickey glancing at them - swaying and bouncing against each other as the car rumbles down the road - and sometimes Mickey even cracks a little smile.

But only when he thinks Ian isn’t looking, of course.

The End.

Medium: Felt

(Some in progress pictures behind the cut)

[reddstardust]

Malevolent Part 35 "The Deal"

Malevolent Part 20 "The King"

[muppetjohntavares]

"For Dubois and Kuemper, it is a change of scenery and new opportunity, which especially in hockey could be all that is missing for the two Canadians."

(Making Sense Of The Pierre-Luc Dubois For Darcy Kuemper Trade / King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men / Picture credit below the cut)

Picture credit as follows:

Bruce Kluckhohn, Andy Clayton-King, Adam Pantozzi, Ross Franklin, Michael Martin, John McCreary, Juan Ocampo, Jamie Sabau, Jonathan Kozub, Rich Graessle, Scott Taetsch, lakings on Instagram, Patrick Smith (duplicates listed once)