#I always wanted to have an excuse to use the makeout meme

[flowerprintundies]

basically the plot right?

[clonerightsagenda]

Author's notes for Sick aka I ramble about my complex Disability Feelings

When you're sick, especially given the dominance of the medical model of disability, it's easy to view your body as a separate adversary, and this scenario takes it to the extreme of completely removing yourself from your body. I've talked before on this blog about my complicated feelings on magic disability cures - I don't like them in fiction; I'd like one myself in real life - and this is me contemplating 'what if'?

I do not like being sick. It is painful, time-consuming, expensive, and frequently embarrassing. I wish it had not happened to me. But being disabled is now a major part of my identity and experience - it's probably the first label I would list when thinking about the different facets that impact my life. Being disabled has made me more aware of disability justice issues and changed the way I relate to and rely on other people. In some ways that sucks - it's progressively taken over what I eat, where I work, where I live (which I also take to the extreme in this story with ambiguously literal possession) - but in other ways, I think the disability community often has a much better worldview than mainstream America. I'm glad I've become more aware of some of those perspectives and issues. And because disability has shaped so much of my life for the past... six? years, for good and for ill, it's hard for me to conceive of what my life would be like without it. How would I think about myself? What would I do? This is my new normal, like it or not. I don't remember what it's like to make a fist painlessly.

An added wrinkle is that autoimmunity is my body Trying Its Best. I make a lot of jokes about my body trying to kill me because that's how it shakes out (please, little guys in my blood, stop eating my bones) but autoimmunity is a trauma response. My body got clobbered by so many outside poisons that it can't recognize what a real threat is anymore. It's trying to protect me and doing a terrible job. It's another place where you can look at your body as an external adversary versus a system that your mind is also a part of. But also no matter how you look at it, I am still sick.

There's also some stuff in the piece about the helplessness that comes from being sick which (surprise!) I also have mixed feelings about. Because it sucks not having control over your body! I want to be supervising that shit. But also... I don't know how common this is, but there is a weird kind of comfort in being tucked in bed with someone else taking care of me. I even find going into surgery oddly relaxing because for a while my life will be someone else's problem.

At the same time I also worry that I'm using disability as an excuse. Am I begging off attending something because I really am tired or worried about exposure/overwork or do I just not want to go?

Finally we have Aro Angst because that's always on my mind. And it's extra on my mind in the context of disability because what if I get to the point where I can't take care of myself anymore? I don't have a romantic partner to help me or to provide health insurance if I can't work. I live near my parents and have passed up job opportunities that would take me further away. Most specifically for this story, even I find myself sometimes falling into the trap of assuming the ultimate endstate of closeness/intimacy would be romantic/sexual bc of cultural conditioning. It's annoying! So the character (Dani, I named her Danielle in a reference to the Daniel/the cooler Daniel meme) is still seeking the community, care, and closeness she experienced as part of the disabled community, and the messier weirder intimacy of feeling connected to her own body, but she's struggling with interpreting that through cultural norms of amatonormativity. Sometimes 'I want to be inside you/I want you inside me' is, shockingly, not a sex thing. Hence, toxic nonhorny clone makeouts. I guess???

Side note: I've mentioned this wrt pieces I've written with aromanticism that follow a similar pattern of taking something I am at least not too consciously dramatic about and making the MC a pathetic wet cat about it. I guess they are serving the purpose of Everyman in a medieval morality play here. They are crash test dummies I am flinging at walls to count the cracks. Not great character writing but that's not what this is about rn.

[luuxxart]

THIS IS ME ASKING FOR YOUR FERDITHEABERT HEADCANONS I didn't even know how badly I needed this ot3!!

THABK YOU FOR ENABLIGN ME

SO MUCH under the cut

I’m gonna go with individual ships first and then branch into ferditheabert that way it’s easier to sort of chronicle ???

Also someone remind me to write a fic one day im literally going to go through an entire plotline over here sndmdkdkdkd

Pre-Timeskip Ferdithea

I think this one would be the one that would happen first

I’m a whore for canon so everything definitely happens according to the supports imo

Ferdinand sort of just goes with the flow and is nice to everyone but anyone with eyes can see he’s madly in love with Dorothea

Just absolutely head over heels like

“If you asked me to jump off a bridge right now I would go do it” kind of head over heels madly in love

Dorothea is aware but is trying very hard not to be

She doesn’t really get it because she’s still under the impression he was gawking at her in the fountain and suddenly feels guilty about it now that they’re pretty much on the same pedestal

And as Dorothea navigates how she feels about Ferdinand and his adoration of her, she turns to Hubert’s relationship with Edelgard

Pre-Timeskip Huberthea

Dorothea pesters Hubert endlessly about his feelings for Edelgard

Knowing that his feelings for her aren’t romantic is relieving, but she’s not sure why

Especially because this now makes Ferdinand’s doting on her even more confusing

So she hangs around Hubert, much to his annoyance, to see what fuels his drive for Edelgard

She ends up doing a few tasks with him like buying some Bergamot, polishing axes, and eventually uh

They touch hands

While harvesting some Noa Fruit

And the ensuing weekend dinner with the Professor becomes all the more awkward because of course the Professor is playing matchmaker after noticing the time they’ve been spending together

Then one day Dorothea notices Hubert drinking coffee and is like

Holy shit that stuff we used to drink to stay up for five fucking acts of an opera how do you drink that

But he makes a bombass brew and suddenly the caffeine addiction is back

They don’t really talk about the almost-touches and the wistful talks about romance that don’t really go anywhere

But Dorothea manages to convince Hubert to do some things for himself (like planting coffee beans in the greenhouse and like vent)

And Hubert’s errands for Edelgard takes Dorothea’s mind off the stress of finding a suitor

Because devotion to someone or something is ,,, honestly a lot more important than money

And holy shit maybe there’s something to Ferdinand’s actions?????

Oh well better ignore it for now

Pre-Timeskip Ferdibert

But this is where it gets cOMPLICATED folks

Hubert is VERY aware that what he has with Dorothea is bordering romantic but he’s trying to push that down a because he feels like he doesn’t deserve someone who could be as devoted to him as he is to them

He’s ALSO trying to push down his feelings for Ferdinand mostly because he knows that Ferdinand is currently pursuing Dorothea

So Hubert is caught in the middle between the two

If at all, he tries to focus a little more on his attraction to Ferdinand because he understands that Dorothea is currently not interested in either one of them

(or else she would’ve said something, right????)

Also, due to Ferdinand being heir apparent to the prime ministry, Hubert has an excuse to keep watch over him

I mean

What can I say except Hubert is morosexual

He wants someone to fix/take care of and currently Dorothea is not exhibiting that need

Ferdinand tho? dude would literally lose his head if it weren’t attached to his neck

Eventually Hubert draws up a proposal to have a double prime ministry so that he can overlook Ferdinand’s actions in the future

He ends up tucking the draft into a drawer, but the idea tends to sit at the tip of his tongue every time he sees Ferdinand

He’s afraid Ferdinand will see it for what it is

A proposal proposal

And that’s exactly what it is

And he (no thoughts) talks to Dorothea about it and she (head empty) encourages him to propose it at the dance

Pre-Timeskip Goddess Tower

so after presumably edelethy actions have happened and the goddess tower becomes unoccupied,

Hubert asks Ferdinand to accompany him up to the tower for the government proposal™️

Ferdinand doesn’t suspect anything

But then they get up there and Dorothea is there, waiting to pour her heart out to Hubert because she realizes if she doesn’t nip it in the bud, she’ll never have a devoted suitor (and also she still doesn’t realize that this is a proposal proposal)

So then it basically becomes that spiderman meme with all the spidermen pointing at each other because they all have dumb stupid crushes on each other

Problem is they’re all young and dumb and they don’t know how to sort it out so they just don’t and leave

Post-Timeskip Ferdithea

So war happens and everyone’s pretty distant from each other

Then the Professor comes back and is extremely upset to see all the rifts between everyone

So everyone kind of tries

But that’s hard because it’s been five years and the rifts are now pretty much ravines

Ferdinand finally gets the nerve up to talk to Dorothea again because he’s at his breaking point

He can’t stand not talking to either of them and Dorothea’s more open to talking

Their A support happens and Dorothea finally understands why Ferdinand did the things he did

ONLY PROBLEM IS

NOW HUBERT/EDELGARD IS VERY CONFUSING AGAIN

Post-Timeskip Huberthea

So Dorothea finally confronts Hubert again and asks him again if he truly loves Edelgard

He decidedly does not

He also decidedly does not want to speak to Dorothea after the Goddess Tower Incident

Dorothea begs him to at least speak to Ferdinand

Hubert considers this

Post-Timeskip Ferdibert

Meanwhile, Ferdinand is mending the bridge between himself and Hubert

They have their A+ Support

They start doing missions together

And after Hubert protects Ferdinand from a close call with a Faerghus fusillade, Ferdinand starts to see what Dorothea saw in Hubert

Uh the devotion that is

Now Ferdiberthea :)

So have i said devotion enough yet? Because that’s the name of the game

And Dorothea fuckiNg misses Hubert

and Ferdinand is pretty much spending all his time with Hubert so Dorothea ends up missing him a lot too

(Also at this point both Ferdithea/ferdibert have become an unspoken thing around Garreg Mach and everyone is VERY confused)

(Except the Professor who is watching their matchmaking attempts come to fruition)

So anyway Dorothea has Edelgard arrange for her to go on the next mission with Hubert and Ferdinand

And OOPS ITS WINTER AND THEY ALL GET STRANDED IN A SMALL TOWN WITH ONLY A ONE BED ROOM OPEN AT AN INN

it’s a king size don’t worry

They just have to get used to each other’s company for a long Pegasus Moon

Ferdinand catches onto the coldness between Hubert and Dorothea so he tries to find situations to get them alone together

So after a couple of those moments, Hubert and Dorothea have a colder version of their A support out in the small town market

There’s some crying, some consoling, and a passionate makeout back at the inn followed by Ferdinand reaping the spoils by joining in

When they get back to Garreg Mach, they become an impervious wall of magic and equestrian fighting

They also become an impervious wall of love and devotion

Miscellaneous headcanons

Ferdinand always sleeps in the middle just because Hubert and Dorothea can be all over each other one minute, and suddenly need space the next

It’s not that they don’t like each other, they’re just both A LOT sometimes

Dorothea and Hubert often stay up longer than Ferdinand because they are very avid coffee drinkers

They double team carrying him back to the bedroom if he ends up nodding off at a late night war meeting

One thing to keep in mind is that I also headcanon Hubert as trans

And so he has met Dorothea at an opera in person before Garreg Mach, she just doesn’t recognize him, and he’s gonna let it stay that way

But it was with her that he was introduced to coffee, which sort of helped him through Edelgard’s disappearance (if you count staying up until the crack of dawn to plan ways to rescue her as “help”)

Hubert will never admit that he’s sick because he is devoted to his royal duties

so Dorothea and Ferdinand take turns staying with him to make sure he doesn’t move and fulfilling his duties in his absence

Ferdinand is still very fuCking reckless and hes even more reckless in war so it takes both dark knight!Hubert and gremory!Dorothea (riding on Hubert’s horse usually) to keep great knight!Ferdinand in check

Were you also disappointed that Dorothea wasn’t a theater/opera kid meme? Me too.

Anyway she is. And so is Ferdinand. So they convert Hubert into operakidism and then proceed to annoy the rest of the black eagles endlessly with opera songs and dance numbers

Listen, if u haven’t seen the Manuela/Ferdinand supports,,, like

Manuela is an enabler of the opera kids just saying

also it is no secret that Ferdinand is a horse girl and he ends up turning the other two into horse girls as well and eventually the rest of the black eagles have to ban horses from conversation entirely

Pegasi were already banned from conversation because of Hubert

Eventually the three get married and have a couple kids by mage

They take an annual winter vacation in a small town to rekindle any sparks they might lose in the stress of governance

[junietc]

being the youngest avenger and taking care of everyone when they had nightmares would include...

nightmares

pairings: avengers x reader, peter parker x reader

a/n: this was honestly so much fun and a lot of writing surprisingly, if you have any requests don’t be scared to ask! also i’ll be trying to post and write some more so stay tuned for more works my loves<3

word count: 1436

~~~~

no matter how tough and strong each avenger said they were, they all had encountered their fair share of nightmares and bad dreams, whether it be of the past or made up scenarios, they all got them

there was at least one scream every night

even if you were the youngest avenger, only sixteen, you basically made it your job to comfort them as most as you could

no matter what time it was, you were there though it wasn’t that hard since you refused to go to bed saying it was “for the weak”

though on the odd occasions you were asleep, you were alerted by F.R.I.D.A.Y (whom you got to shout at you if anyone was awake in the middle of the night)

bucky was the one you visited the most

he was also the first person you had tried to comfort

he constantly had dreams of his ex-hydra days which taunted him as much as they could

it was a pretty regular day, but you had to study for a final coming up, so you stayed up until probably 2 or 3 am

that was when you heard his screams

how no one else heard them was out of your explanation

you had rushed over to his room wondering what was happening and saw him breathing heavily, aggressively pulling on his hair and murmuring to himself

obviously, you went to try and comfort him

sitting next to him on the bed, you kinda sat there awkwardly for a bit, bc well, what were you supposed to do, there really wasn’t much you could do on your end because you didn’t know all that much about him enough to comfort him like steve did, but then you eventually kinda just latched on to him and hugged him

you both kinda sat there, bucky’s sobbing being the only noise at the ungodly hour

you hugged him tightly from the side and leaned your head on his shoulder

soft whispers of “it’s okay, it’s just the past” and “don’t worry”

after sitting still for a while, bucky breathed heavily and hugged you back, his tears dampening your old t-shirt

his crying was muffled in your shirt as your small figure hugged him ferociously. the both of you held each other for another minute or so until bucky pulled away, with a faint smile on his face

“thanks kid, that actually really helped”

it was from that awkward, sad and tired smile that you swore to be there for him, and everyone else of course

you would grin brightly “of course, do you want to get a snack?”

that was probably your favourite way of helping, by distracting them and getting their minds of the bad memories

from then on, you kind of just did that with all of the avengers, hugged em tight and loved them

you can remember that one night that you heard nat’s screams echoing across the tower

 it was maybe 1 am and you were still up, of course, watching bad romcoms on the television and had rushed as quickly as possible to her room

she was in cold sweat, clutching on to her bed sheets forcefully, shaking when you had walked in. she noticed you at the doorframe and wiped away her tears

“hey, y/n. everything okay? could you not sleep or – ”

so you ran up and hugged her

surprised, she sat there before hugging you back and stroking your hair

“i love you nat”

you feel her chest vibrate with laughter as she sniffles, “i love you too kiddo”

you smile before pointing towards the compound, “do you wanna watch bad romcoms with me?”

“fuck yeah”

you had your special connections with everyone and special ways to get them to feel better

with steve it was a lot of trying to get him to crack a smile, maybe trying to show him memes or even just make fun of riverdale with him. sometimes you would go to the kitchen and try to bake (but really it was just an excuse for you to ramble about dumb shit and force steve to make you cookies but it made for a great distraction) or sometimes steve would tell you about life back in the 40s

with tony, you would go to the lab with him and try and build but really all that you were doing was making a mess and trying to get him to listen to songs other than acdc. you would also try and drag him to play pool with you and end up just rolling the balls into the pockets since you were shit, which really shocked you since you were so good at game pigeon 8 ball

with clint and sam you’d enjoy distracting them by going outside to the park nearby, not giving a single fuck that it was late at night/early in the morning and dancing, trying bad tricks and shouting and just having fun

sometimes you’d have gossip sessions with carol and wanda and shit about people you knew at school, the rest of the team and learn about them and their past

other times you would try and give wanda a manicure only for it to go terribly wrong and somehow you both got nail polish on your legs

you and nat would always have tea and talk about boys and gossip about missions, which included talking shit about the team and how bad they all are at lying

with bruce, you get something from the kitchens and go to the lab and try to learn, but really you were just playing with different chemicals and seeing what they would do, also having competitions of who could make the prettiest colour which often resulted in creating extremely dangerous chemicals but hey that was the prettiest shade of purple you ever saw

whenever your boyfriend peter stayed at the tower, you would hug him and cuddle as he talked about his dream and then maybe go and be kids and build a pillow fort and gossip and just bond over being the youngest and maybe makeout a little bit but like whatever

peter is always the most fun to hang out with but you guys tend to make the most noise and since neither of you are adults you get scowled at for being awake it’s definitely only by steve but you gotta love him for it he just wants you both to grow

this of course has gotten peter to use his peter tingles to sense whenever anyone is coming so you both can “fall asleep” on the couch 

everyone hears you both though 

your giggling is obnoxiously loud

on the rare occasion that thor was over and had nightmares, you would sit there and listen to him speak about asgard and all that jazz and then go around the tower and play stupid games like “guess the name of this” which was really just you teaching him about female makeup products

there were even times when some of them would go to your room instead and just ask for a hug

you were always there to accept them and then go and do something fun after

it’s not like anyone at the tower slept all that much anyways

yeah sometimes they’d try and force you to go back to bed because you were young and “still growing” but whatever

but what you always did was hug them and tell them you love them, because you really did. the avengers were your family, maybe a little fucked up and emotionally unstable but still, your loving and hilarious family

you were basically known to have the best hugs

but of course, you had your fair share of nightmares, now of course yours weren’t as terrifying but they kept you up at times

usually you never managed to wake someone up considering the fact that you didn’t scream instead turned to holding in your tears and aggressively doing the renegade to distract yourself

of course, there was that one time that you had a terrifying dream

you had walked around the compound and everyone was on the floor dead, their blood somehow all over your hands

you woke up, sweaty and couldn’t stop the heavy tears coming from your eyes

you cried loudly, somehow waking up the entire compound, who all came rushing to you

they ran into your room and made their way to you

bucky was the first to react, who immediately hugged you, which surprised everyone seeing as he never really was the touchy-feely kind of guy

one after another they all came and sat on your bed hugging you, whispering sweet words and i love you’s just as you had when they all had their nightmares

they all tried to have their own time to hug you

“bUt iT’s mY tUrN tO hUg y/n”

then they all decided it would be a perfect time, at four in the morning, to play monopoly together, or at least in teams since monopoly was for six players but that didn’t stop you

but yeah, so basically you give great hugs, and everything is great

[pinktatertots99]

And another one! For the Ship Headcanon thing: 9, 14 and 28 for eeeeehm (my otp ahahahahaha) Nah, is there any ship you want to do? Any headcanons you want to scream out into the void of tumblr?

JDKHJDKJHDKJ awwwwww, maybe i will do this: i shall do these three with your ship and put under cut the three questions with random ships my brain cooks up from whatever fandom i got in mind.

-coughs- in order: houseki no kuni, nanbaka, mahoutsukai no yome, and homestuck cause holy fuck i am not puttin down all my tags for these four fandoms

ship headcanon meme

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other? for zirc probably just, anything they do they think its embarrassing but most embarrassing is being caught in the shower singing. for yellow their’s is just bein mocked as old by rutile in their banter’s and zirc hearin and laughin over it cause o wow that was funny.

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do? zirc goes all out on doctor mode mask on, soup and medicines and yellow lookin like royalty with a buncha floofy pillows around em. for yellow they just mostly chill getting zirc whatever they want including some physical contact cause they do kinda worry bout their lil buddy.

28. Why do they get jealous? zirc its mostly jealous over who knows yellow more considering ages, like feelin like they missed out on alot. for yellow its more protection then jealousy but mostly any flirty moves someone makes on zirc and zirc not knowin or just bein friendly to it will get em a bit jelly.

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other? qi its like, almost anything but most embarrassing would def had to be the couple times liang found his lingere magazines that involved alot of thigh pictures. for liang it’d be dropping a dumb-bell on himself and then kicking it only for it to smack him in the head while qi saw the whole thing. 

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do? lucy is VERY serious on getting zoey anything involvin medicine she makes or buys that will 100% help and almost always on her feet due to a bit of panic worried it might get worse. while zoey ends up makin alotta homemade remedies his mom and dad used to give him when he got sick for lucy if its the other way around, might stay around her alot tho considerin recent manga definietly would have him worried on her bein vunerable to any magical entities to take advantage of.

28. Why do they get jealous? oh ho just talkin to kanny is enough for cro to be slightly jelly especially if its friendly convo’s cause dis, dis is his -amporas and their attatchment issues man its somethin the two’ll work out-. kanny is, barely jealous, only if cro puts on the flirty facade long enough for someone else will he get jealous cause excuse him WHO is his flushed quadrant again? bois need a damn auspitchious and therapist for this shit, does make for some heated makeouts if their on that level, mayhaps a small flip in quad’s cause i live for quadrant vaccilation.

[kae-karo]

hotwings!!

hi hi hi did u mean one of my favorite ships?????? - send me a bnha character or ship and i’ll give u my thots (x)! check out what i’ve already done (x)

look dabi and hawks have so much potential as a ship like the angst, the drama, there’s just so so much to potentially talk about (i should know i have two unposted 20k dabihawks fics that exist in similar aus of each other and 2 more i wanna write as companions to those, plus a couple lil one-shots, not to mention the entire dabihawks playlist (x) that i keep saying i wanna write a fic for every song)

ahem. anyway.

hawks will always be the one who’s like i have to focus on the mission but [squidward voice] oh god he’s hot while dabi is like the externally cool as a cucumber attempting to be suave guy who’s actually losing his fucking mind on the inside like they’re both a hot mess but they’re also both trying to keep it together like ‘i’m not flirting unless ur flirting in which case i totally am but like only if u are hahaaaaaaa’

i love the idea of them both getting so wrapped up in trying to figure the other out that they forget what exactly they’re supposed to be doing in the league like between dabi feeling obligated to make hawks prove he’s as evil as he claims and hawks trying to dig into dabi’s past they both forget that like. they’ve got like real actual things to be doing outside of obsessing over each other????

okay not to be serious on main but they also both were like. so immensely failed on the affection front in their current lives. like at best dabi had his siblings to hang out with growing up and his mom probably tried (oh yeah i fully subscribe to the dabi=touya ““theory”” - is it a theory if its true? - sorry if that wasn’t obvious by now lmao) and hawks was taken as a child to train at the commission and u bet ur ass they weren’t big on hugs there

so you have two touch-starved idiots who somehow perform intricate rituals that allow them to touch each other u know the meme i’m talking about lmao. the point being that they’re both dumb and constantly making excuses to brush against each other or sit next to each other or *ahem* dabi’s arm around hawks’ shoulder???? and they’re also both so deep in denial that the other might. actually like them cause god if that happened,,,,,,,,,the tragedy. the star-crossed lover drama of it all

uh yeah but give me ch 191 again where horikoshi isn’t a coward and we get a sexual-tension-filled meeting with hawks agitated and threatening dabi and dabi’s playing it way too cool and it ends with them nose to nose, hawks’ feather blade at dabi’s throat and dabi just grinning like a madman and oh. oh. oh. they both have that moment of ‘fuck fuck fuck fuck no i can’t be like. actually. falling for him’ 

and then we get the kiss horikoshi deprived us of (cause we all know that’s what should’ve happened - side note can u tell i’m a sucker for the ‘sexually-tense fighting that leads to a makeout session’ trope?????)

after that they start hooking up and hawks u know is like hurr durr gotta keep a professional appearance but he’s also like so fucking weak for dabi like dabi texts him that he’s bored? hawks suddenly finds an excuse to be over at the league hideout. total coincidence tho, total coincidence

dabi is a desperate lil hoe for hawks’ attention but he tries to hide it behind his whole ‘i don’t care about anything’ facade even when they’re together????? until he snaps over smth - an endeavor thing, a shouto/family thing, a league thing, doesn’t really matter but he fuckin snaps and hawks lets him take it out on him bc he knew there had to be more depth to dabi and y’know ya boi has a lot of trauma to work through and if dabi was taught that fighting was a coping mechanism then sure hawks will fight (bc he knows he’ll win i’m sorry but hawks is op at this point ya boi trained hard to have such a badass quirk)

and the one (1) time dabi actually manages to singe him with a bit of fire, he completely loses it, like genuine breakdown. he never wanted to hurt hawks. never wanted to hurt anyone. but he did, and he kept hurting people and he couldn’t stop bc it felt like something and something was better than nothing and how the fuck did he get here and hawks listens through the whole thing and just holds him and lets him talk and get it all out and ahem i may also be a sucker for the ‘villain never really wanted to be a villain but it felt like the only choice until the hero shows them they can still be good’ trope

[jising-jisang-jisung]

Waiting Game | Lee Jeno

Word count: 1.5k

A/n: wow I used a lot off lil faces in here for no reason other than self amusement so sorry¿? also hi I might have accidentally fallen in love with Jeno while writing this uwu his smile

Genre: floof ofc

~

Is it even possible that you liked the same boy for 11 years? You met Jeno in kindergarten and immediately fell for him. When you two were kids, you'd always tease each other and talk. "Ladies first." "oh then go ahead, Jeno." But as you two grew up, you both became too shy and quiet to talk to one another. 乁║ ˙ 益 ˙ ║ㄏ

Nevertheless, you liked the boy and you reckoned somehow you always would. Any time you imagined your future, he was there. If you were picturing your wedding, he was the groom. Your kids: had his eyes and hair. Future house: idk but he'd be there. You get the point. Jeno was always on your mind and you were worried that you might never get over him.

Now, half way through your junior year, you realize that you dont have much time left before you'll both move off to college and never see each other again *sad uwu*. So what do you do? You find his social media! How you two don't follow each other already, I dont know. A little while after he follows you back you send a meme. He sends one back, cute right? But then next day when you see him, you two act the same: borderline ignoring one another.

Frustrated at everything, mainly yourself, you decide to just risk it to get the biscuit. The next morning, you check your phone to see yet another meme from Jeno. Instead of sending one back you send:

Roses are red

You're pretty cute

Do you want to be my date to prom uwu?

And homeboy frickin responds to you with that:

Violets are blue

You're pretty cute too

I'd love to go to prom with you uwu

And you were like asdfjkan I did that on a whim and what?!?!? Queue your heart: bOom boOm!! -`ღ´- But now you are super anxious because you have barely had adequate conversations with this boy and now you are going to prom together. Little did you know that Jeno was also panicking.

So basically you have already gotten a dress at this point and are trying to track homeboy down to show him for color coordination purposes and not just because you want to talk to him. You finally find Jeno during lunch and show him pics of your dress and ask what he planned on wearing. You turn to face him and he just kinda (❁´◡`❁)... you wave your hand in front of his face a few times and he returns back to Earth. "Oh right sorry- uh you look nice. I'll just find a tie that will match" he says as his face turns hues of red. As you walk away you heard the rest of the boys laughing at Jeno's table, oblivious to the teasing comments about Jeno being in loooove with you.

Now at least you have an excuse to talk to Jeno which is cool because it leads to more conversations and meme sharing. One day in class you sent him some funny post and he looked up at you and smiled and your heart!! just!! boOm!! bOom!! -`ღ´- You would die for his eye smile holy crap. You absentmindedly smile back and now you two are just looking at each other and smiling like idiots for a few minutes <(▰˘◡˘▰)> . That is until the teacher calls your name.

"I'm sorry, what?" "I asked if what you got for number 7. Please pay attention y/n." "Yes, sorry." And you glanced back to Jeno to see that he was no longer looking at you but he did still have that stupid smile on his face. "24.9" "correct." You could feel your face blushing brightly just as Jeno's had before.

~

The day of prom finally came and to say you were really frickin anxious would be an understatement. The dance started at 7, so you were meeting Jeno at 5 to get pictures and dinner beforehand. You had hoped that when he came to pick you up you two would just leave. Of course, your parents had other plans, taking a millioooon pictures of you two together. After 1395820 years you finally head out to dinner with a few of your mutual friends and their dates.

Around a large table sat you, Jeno, and 8 others. You knew Jaemin, Renjun, and Donghyuck who were also in your class in addition to being Jeno's best friends, but you didnt know the last boy, Chenle. Apparently, he was a year younger than you, but you think it may be a bit more than one year. Coincidentally, their dates were some of your friends: let's call them Ryn why not we got a good thing going here, Elle, Sarah, and Rosie. After 2 hours of mindless staring, blushing, laughing, and eating a bunch of food, it was actually time for prom!

You entered the venue that was decorated to look like an enchanted forest, but to you it looked like Barbie Swan Lake. but whatevs. For the majority of the dance, you all had danced together in a large group, occasionally taking breaks for water and to cool down. But this time Jeno and you had decided to take a break while the others continued to bust a move. (´▽｀)ノ♪

"Tonight has been really fun so far, y/n, thank you for asking me to prom. I would've asked you but I didn't have the balls to do it." Not knowing what to say, you looked at him kinda like (。♡‿♡。) and without even realizing your actions, you left a smol smooch on his already tinted cheeks before grabbing his hand as you make your way back to the group.

It was nearing the end of the dance and, to your luck, the DJ put on a slow song. Before you could even open your mouth to speak, Jeno already had his hands around your waist, slowly drifting back and forth. Once again, he had the darned smile on his face that made you melt. You wrapped your arms around his neck in return and began to move as well. This got a lot of winks and hollers from your friends. You glared at Elle when you noticed she was filming everything. Pretty soon they started dancing too, leaving you and Jeno to yourselves.

You two had always been semi-awkward when you locked eyes for minutes on end, but it felt different now. The awkwardness and lack of talking was killing you. You tried to initiate conversation in hopes of eliminating some of the tension. "So-" but you were immediately cut off by Jeno's lips crashing abruptly against yours. You looked at him with your eyes wide from shock (⊙＿⊙) . "No need to talk" he replied, leaning in again. You closed your eyes and kissed him back.

Before you knew it, the song was over along with prom and students were leaving in crowds. You said bye to your friends before getting in Jeno's car for him to drive you home. At least, you thought he was taking you back to your house until you realized that he was in fact not doing that. "Um, this isnt the way to my house." "oh I know." "so where are we going?" "You'll see." You pouted (╯︵╰) wanting to know what was going on. When Jeno saw this he did what Jeno would do and pecked your lips again. "Dont worry y/n." And truthfully you couldn't worry. You really couldn't think at all. *swoons* (◕﹏◕✿)

He pulled up to a wendy's drive thru and began to order some food. "What would you like y/n?" After getting the bag of food he parked his car and began to munch eat his fries. After consuming the total of your meals and the fries that were in the bottom of the bag you were both just kinda :|. So you decided you might as well just kinda sorta maybe makeout with Jeno. And thus, that is what you did. His lips were really soft and tasted a little salty from all the fries, but you didnt mind.

You continued to smoochy smoochy makeout with Jeno for who knows how long when your phone vibrated, signaling a message from your mother. "She wants to know when I'll be home." "I suppose I should probably take you home now. It's getting late."

As he pulled up in your driveway and you thanked him for driving you, he grabbed your hand to stop you from getting out of his car. "Hey so, uh, about tonight- so are we-" he trailed off, not knowing how to finish his sentence properly without sounding like a doofus. "Jeno, would you like to be my boyfriend?" "YES! I mean, yeah sure that's cool." With that same dumb smile on your faces, you pressed your lips to his once more before heading into your house. When your mom asked you how it went, all you could do was smile. Even if it took 11 years to realize just how much you both liked each other, it was well worth the wait.

[errantknightess]

Writer ask meme

Tagged by @kitty-bandit, @silentium-nightshade and @faeriexqueen - thanks a lot :D Answers under the cut because it’s long and who has the time for that.

1. Explain your AO3 handle.

It's just a variant of the screen name I came up back when I was fourteen and obsessed with Middle Ages. It's pretty dumb, but I got used to it and kinda like the shape of those lowercase letters.

2. Favorite fanfiction trope?

Mutual pining. Give me all the sad idiots that don't realize how much they mean to the love of their life! Give me their awkward fumbling as they fail to express their feelings and stay convinced the other could never possibly reciprocate! Give me the stolen touches and fleeting glances and weak excuses to be as close to each other as they dare!

3. Favorite place to write?

My room, door closed, absolute silence everywhere, or at the very least earplugs/some white noise in my headphones.

4. Favorite ships in your current fandom?

In DGM it's laven, always and forever, my precious lost dorks ♥ And as you can notice, I've also fallen into FFXV and promptis hell recently. Here's your fair warning that I'll be writing quite a bit of it in the future.

5. What are your steps to get into the Writing Mood™?

Basically just daydreaming the scenes I need to write next. When I can see them in my mind clearly enough, I'm ready to write -- otherwise I fumble a lot and they don't come out feeling very natural.

6. What program/app do you use to write?

I draft things out in Notepad and clean the finished thing in Word. I find that Notepad is less intimidating in a way -- I can just drop loose messy notes in it and not worry about things being perfect, while Word and other “proper” programs pressure me to Get It Right on the first try. Recently I've also started turning my laptop off and jotting my notes down by hand instead, and that helps a lot in keeping away all the internet distractions! (I do transfer those notes to Notepad later, though -- actual writing is way quicker on the keyboard, and as a non-native speaker I need my dictionaries and Google).

7. List your zodiac sign, favorite ice cream flavor, Hogwarts House, and your opinion on pineapple pizza.

Cancer, mint with chocolate chips, Slytherin, and sure I'll eat that

8. Link us a fanfic that made you cry.

Two of Cups by @kitty-bandit makes me cry every time I read it. It's so full of raw love and passion, and has such a wonderful, intimate atmosphere. It makes me very emotional.

9. Link us a fanfic that made you laugh.

Tumbling down the ffxv hole, I've discovered that I love Ignis/Gladio written as comedy. Marry in Haste, Regen at Leisure by fictionfinding is a gem, those fast-paced, quippy dialogues had me howling.

10. Link us a fanfic that left you in complete awe at the writer’s ability.

I'm always completely in awe of @kitty-bandit‘s ability to plot out long, complex stories, fill them with action and tension, and see them through till the end. Her Lost Time is probably where it hit me the most. I'm seriously amazed at how she comes up with all her ideas and puts them together so they fit perfectly like puzzle pieces. I also just have to mention Warmth by @carolyncaves as it had literally reduced me to stumbling in a stunned daze for a few days. I fell in love with the narration there, with those vivid descriptions and the striking way of building the scenes so they grip you tight with suspense.

11. List your kinks.

I don't really read porn and I'm extremely vanilla, but I always appreciate heavy makeouts/clothed sex, some non-con with a heavy focus on hurt/comfort later, and certain very specific aspects of the Fuck or Die trope.

12. How do you come up with your ideas?

I don't really come up with ideas as much as they come to me; I tend to write things I want to read myself. Sometimes I draw inspiration from life (one of my current WIPs is based on a really terrible attempt at an omelette I made recently...), other times they develop from random headcanons as I try to flesh out my desperately lacking characterization and get into the characters' heads better.

13. How do you implement said ideas into a cohesive narrative?

I write mostly short stuff, so there's not really a lot of work for me to do in terms of plotting. If I feel the need to see a particular scene, I just put it down and try to build some more context around it until it can pass for a drabble/fic -- so I think back on all the "why"s, figure out how that situation could come to be and where it leads to based on the characters' reactions and dialogue.

14. What are your working on right now? Share a little snippet or a description.

I'm working on a bunch of stuff, jumping form one thing to another, so... have this tiny bit of a very random promptis drabble? (I'm sorry, I promise y'all some laven for Christmas, but for now I'm just. In the mood for this ;;;;;;;;;)

When he needed to, Noctis could be an incredibly patient man.

He had withstood the trials of adolescence that came with being royalty in a public high school. His scarce public appearances were a constant display of diplomacy and self-control as he deflected obnoxious, invasive questions from the press. He managed not to nap in most of the bi-weekly council meetings. And of course, when all of that was done, he could spend hours on end sitting still and silent on a pier with a fishing rod in hand.

All of that patience, however, evaporated like a daemon on a summer morning some time around his third game over in a row.

"Damn it," he groaned, slamming the control panel with his fist. Prompto flinched, but the dull clang of metal drowned in the noise around them. The arcade was busy enough that no one paid any mind to their crown prince assaulting the machines -- even though Noct did his best to make sure Prompto could hear his discontent over the crowd.

"Did you see that?" He waved his hand at the screen, where his avatar was still blinking red in a cloud of pixellated explosion. "I totally had it! This is cheating!"

"You think it's rigged?" Prompto poked the machine with the tip of his boot. If it was, he couldn't see any signs of tampering, other than the peeling stickers and a few choice words of graffiti on the side.

[nickireadstfc]

The King’s Men, Chapter 10 – [Andreil Intensifies]

In which Mission Fix the Twinyards finally kicks off, Nicky values the important things in life (ice cream), Andreil have a Consent Talk, and oh, also the Foxes rule. Natch.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The King’s Men.

After the game is before the game, so the team kicks off this chapter by sorting through the aforementioned applications for new recruits. This goes well by pretty much everyone but Kevin, whose Exy Elitism is making him kind of a little bitch.

             Kevin insisted Wymack put out a second request, to which Wymack demanded Kevin be a little more accepting of strikers who hadn’t been raised to be champions.

Exy-actly.

No offense, but chill, my man.

             Neil didn’t have the experience or insight to argue with Kevin, but he quietly clung to one of the choices he’d made and refused to let it go.

Okay, but do we ever find out who Neil recruited?

I need to know this for reasons.

REASONS.

             Abby stepped in when the argument got too loud and banished Wymack and Kevin to opposite ends of the locker room.

Bahahahahaha. Love me some good Fox mom moments.

In other news – Mission Fix the Twinyards has finally commenced!

Apparently, all is takes to get them to cooperate is to have them shout emotional murder confessions in each other’s faces. Who would have thought.

             “One of these days I want you to tell me how you roped Katelyn into it.”

             “I asked,” Neil said.

             “There goes that ‘asked’ thing again,” Matt said. “Does it mean something different where you come from?”

             “Most of the time, yes,” Neil said.

             The unexpected honesty startled a laugh from Matt.

Same.

Also, a laughing Matt is a wonderful Matt. In this household, we like all our Foxes laughing and happy, thank you very much.

However, of course, one counselling session isn’t enough to fix years and years of Twin Teen Trauma (even if it’s with Betsy and her magical cocoa powers), so the brothers still aren’t exactly BFFs, as the kids say.

             Wymack looked from one to the other. “Is this going to be an ongoing thing? I need tot know how to plan around you.”

             “No,” Andrew said.

             Aaron flicked him an irritated look. “Yes.”

BahAHAHA.

Wonderful.

In a rare occurrence, the Foxes get a night off, which everyone takes as an excuse to kick back and relax.

In Kevin and Neil’s case, this means marathoning Exy games and taking notes like fucking nerds.

Nicky, once again, manages to be my fictional voice in this universe:

             “It’s Friday night and this is how you’re entertaining yourselves? Give me a break! Think about something else for a while, would you? Like ice cream.”

SAME, MY DUDE.

Nicky, in a brave attempt to distract Neil’s nerdy ass (as we all know, all hope is lost on Kevin), tries to convince him to go to the store with him, which of course – works?

             Neil looked at Andrew and thought about Nicky’s worried appeal last fall, the warning that one day Exy wouldn’t be enough on its own. (…) Neil built his life around Exy after his mother dies because he needed something to live for, but Neil wasn’t alone anymore.

BITCH I’M CRYING.

I am SHOOKETH.

And all of this over ice cream.

The food of gods, my guys. The food of gods.

Also: Nicky apparently isn’t on Andrew’s insurance policy anymore and doesn’t have the keys to the new car either? Which means Andrew didn’t just give Neil permission to use his car, but gave it only to him?? What kind of gay FUCKERY????

I can’t believe I’m really out here having feelings about car policies. What the fuck has this book done to me.

Speaking of gay shit!

You thought we were done with a little angsty kissy-kissy on the rooftop?

SHIT NO.

THERE IS MORE.

             “Question,” Neil said, “when you said you don’t like being touched, is it because you don’t like it at all or because you don’t trust anyone else enough to let them touch you?”

HELL yes, this is what I am about.

Give me that sweet sweet consent talk.

             “It doesn’t matter to a man who doesn’t swing,” Andrew clarified.

             Neil shrugged. “I don’t because I’ve never been allowed to. The only thing I could think about growing up was surviving.”

Hell yeah again for Neil not having a Gay Freakout over this <33

Only like, a General Life Anxiety Freakout, but when does he ever not have that one.

             Maybe this was why this was in that gray area of what was acceptable. It didn’t matter that Andrew was a would-be sociopath or a man; the idea of Andrew was so intertwined with the idea of Neil’s safety that this too was a means of self-preservation.

That’s… kind of poetic, actually.

Damn, Josten.

             “I trust you.”

             “You shouln’t.”

             “Says the man who stopped.”

Ohhhhhhhh, you clever boy, you.

I LOVE this.

Please know that I am giggling gleefully, almost manically, during this entire exchange.

             “So are you completely off-limits or are there any safe zones?”

             “What are you hoping for, coordinates?”

             “I’m hoping to know where the lines are before I cross them,” Neil said, “but I’m open to drawing a map on you if you want to loan me a marker.”

Bless these boys and their sass at all times.

Also DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS CONSENT TALK I DON’T THINK I DID.

Seriously, this is so, so important and so, so wonderful.

             “I’m still waiting for a yes or no I actually believe,” Andrew returned.

             “Yes.”

BITCH, YES.

             “It’s fine if you hate me,” Neil said.

             It was the truth, if a bit of an understatement. So long as Andrew was only physically attracted to Neil, this was safe to experiment with. Neil’s death wouldn’t be more than a faint inconvenience to Andrew.

My boy…

Yeah right. A faint inconvenience, my entire fucking ass.

             “Good,” Andrew said, “because I do [hate you].”

Again – yeah right, my entire fucking ass.

             “Stay,” Andrew said, and leaned down to kiss him.

And the next part I’m sparing you all because this is, frankly, unholy.

I want to quote everything.

I want to quote nothing, and let us all treasure the absolute gloriousness of the following makeout session in peace.

Because honestly – I read a lot, and I read a lot that has kissing in it, and this is still one of the best, most real, most heartfelt-without-being-tacky descriptions of kissing I’ve ever read. All the kudos to you, Nora.

I am way, way too invested in this pair by now. Holy shit.

All good gay things come to an end, though, and eventually Nicky comes back, diverting the good gay things with ice cream and horror movies.

But – our boys don’t quite walk away from their, ahem, encounter quite as unscathed as they’d like:

             Andrew had stayed by the door after letting Nicky in. Thinking that Andrew needed space and time to regroup the same way Neil did almost wrecked Neil’s attempts to get his neutral façade back together.

This is the most beautiful shit I’ve read all chapter, what the fuck.

Any time we see indicators of Andrew not being an Emotionless Void With Arm Bandages, I gain +5 years to my life expectancy.

Phew. We survived the gay shit once again, folks. What’s next?

Oh yeah.

SPORTSBALL.

More specifically, Neil and Kevin have an argument about whether to be a Technical Mastermind Player, The Very Best, Like No One Ever Was, or whether to be an Intuitive, Impulsive Heat Of The Moment Player, Because Fuck You Kevin.

Basically, Kevin wants to bone the perfect game, while Neil wants to bone the suspenseful game.

Oh, guys.

(Watch me revive year old memes at all times, watch me.)

In related Sportsball News – the Foxes have their first death match coming up!

And apparently they’re… Crushing it?

             When the Foxes hit the court February 9th, no one was expecting the fight they brought to it. (…) The sportscasters were shaking their heads in amazement.

             “I’m not entirely sure who we’re looking at now or what they did with last year’s Foxes, but they’ve completely blown me away.”

BITCH, ME TOO.

Also hah, we almost made it exactly to the date again – three days late, but this is still such a nice touch to be reading this in almost real time.

             “This is the kind of synchrony you’d expect from top-notch schools. A few weeks ago we all laughed when freshman Neil Josten said the Foxes were raring for a rematch with the Ravens. No one’s laughing now.”

Hell fucking YEAH for my children. I am such a proud soccer mom.

Exy mom. Whatever.

             The seniors exchanged a long look, exhausted and triumphant. (…) The girls came to Palmetto State University knowing it’d take work to salvage that sour reputation and knowing Wymack was their only ally. (…) Despite every loss and every roadblock, they’d made it, and now they were finally getting the nod they deserved.

Uhm, YOU GUYS IMMA CRY.

Honestly, this bit right there just got to me. These three fought so hard, wading through patriarchal bullshit every day of their lives and going on still, and now they finally fucking made it, and we get to see them as a unit, standing proud.

More love towards our Fox girls always, y’all.

TREASURE THEM WITH ME.

(Also, did I mention I’ll be cosplaying these three ladies with two friends of mine at a con here in Germany next month? With full jerseys? And did I mention I’m hella excited? And does that heighten my feelings over this bit hardcore right now??

Absolutely.)

Back to the death match – hey, remember last book when Andrew actually gave a shit about Exy for 0.2 seconds and pulled some really sweet stunts?

Apparently, our boy has decided to up his Giving A Shit game to 0.3 seconds now, because I manages to give Neil a goal shot by – hold on – making Nicky take a red card for fucking flooring a dude, taking the penalty shot, deflecting it like an absolute badass, and clearing the ball all the way up the long ass court.

Holy shit, my dude. Do I want to see what you’re like when you give 0.4 shits, or even one (1) entire shit?

Unbelievable.

Also, there is a description in there of Neil running “like his father was on his heels”, and if that isn’t the funniest, most unexpected bit of gallows humour I’ve seen in this chapter I don’t even know.

             [As the match went on] Andrew stopped every shot on goal and bounced a couple rebounds off the strikers’ helmets just to rile them further.

Andrew, I love you.

And of course, what happens as soon as Andrew moves so much as a little finger?

             The buzzer sounded on an eight-three win. They’d dominated their first death match and were on to round three for the first time ever.

HECK FUCKIN’ YEEAAAAAHHHHHH.

Sadly, even though he may give a tiny bit more of a shit on the court, as soon as the game is over Andrew is back to being his angsty self. Shame.

Petition for their final game to be the one that finally gets through to Andrew, please.

However, Nicky more than makes up for his mood.

             “Can you believe it?” he asked, amazed. “We are such hot shit sometimes!”

Nicky, never change. <3

When they go back to Wymack And Abby’s for a mandatory team celebration, there is another bit of Quality Nicky Content that had me in absolute hysterics:

             Matt commandeered the sound system in the other room. Nicky and Allison argued with all of his choices and each other, but they didn’t sound serious so Neil didn’t intervene.

I cannot, cannot stress how much I love this.

PARTY DJS NICKY AND ALLISON. GIVE ME THEM SWEET FANARTS NOW.

Brb, making a playlist instantly.

Neil, sadly, isn’t super hyped about choosing the latest bops, and goes in search of his boyfriend instead, who he finds sitting on a car gazing into nothingness – as one does when one is Gay, Angsty and Dramatic.

             “We won,” Neil said. (…) “Would it kill you to let something in?”

             “It almost did last time,” Andrew said.

YIKES.

Hope your foot tastes good, Neil, because you just put it real nicely in your mouth.

             “You sound like a wind-up doll with only one topic,” Andrew said. “I have nothing to say to you.”

             “If I talk about something else, will you talk to me?”

             Andrew quirked a brow at him. “Can you talk about something else?”

Oh, burn.

One last thing before we go –

             Halfway across the lawn his phone went off. Neil was annoyed enough to answer tonight’s “28” in his inbox with an “Enough”.

             No one responded.

Seriously guys, what the happ is fuckening.

If you like what I do here and you want me to continue writing fun things for you, why not buy me a coffee? Every lil bit helps, getting me through uni and all that jazz. Thanks so much!