#I always say Guy Fawkes but to be honest I don’t know shit about him I just like his facial hair

[horriblehistorieslandfill]

I don’t have a favorite history icon yet and it’s driving me insane

[viewfromthevault]

Fallout OC Interview

Thanks to the lovely @tarberrymentats for the tag 💜

Rules

Choose an oc

Answer the questions as that oc

Tag 5 people to do the same

I’ll tag @nonbinaryrobot @rogue-lavellan @drneverland @commonwealthcommoner and whoever else wants to do it because I never know if I’m bugging people by tagging them or not 🤣

Gonna do this with Lesley

Okay so I got waaayy carried away and thought maybe I should throw this under a read more for the sake of your dashboards.

1. What is you’re name?

“Lesley Elvira Mathews. Not a real fan of Elvira so don’t call me that unless you wanna get whacked.”

2. How old are you?

“Shit, I dunno. I was nineteen when I got the boot. How many years ago was that now?”

(Lesley’s timeline is a bit funky at the moment. I wanna say this takes place after main story stuff and before fo4, so she’ll be in her early twenties)

3. What do you look like?

“A fucking legend.”

4. Where are you from? Where do you live now?

“See, I thought I was born in Vault 101, but actually I was born somewhere in the wasteland then grew up in the vault. Not a fun environment to grow up in, to tell you the truth. A lotta assholes livin’ there, except Amata.

“I’m happy to say that now I live in my very own house in Megaton. It’s not a super private place, though. Gotta few couch surfers.”

5. What was your childhood like?

“Could’ve been better, actually. Like I said before, there were a lot of assholes in 101. Had a real hard time making friends. People liked to call me the problem kid because I got in a lot of fights, but I didn’t start all of them and those fuckers had it coming. Grown-ups complained about me all the time and the Overseer hated my guts, but that’s ok because I hated his about the same.

“I guess it wasn’t all bad, though. My dads were pretty great, even when James was too busy being James. Granny Palmer used to look after me when they were both busy, she was really nice. And then there’s my best friend, Amata. If it weren’t for her I probably would have went nuts in there.”

6. What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

“I currently do work with Reilly’s Rangers and the Regulators. I get to run around the wastes and kill bad guys for money?? They had me at ‘caps.’

“I used to be part of the Brotherhood of Steel, though I don’t remember actually signing up or anything. They dropped my sorry ass as soon as they thought I wasn’t useful anymore. Bastards.

“This one lady also said I could be part of this Railroad group if I didn’t tell this fancy suit where this android person went. Still waiting for them to call me back.”

7. Tell me about your best friend.

“It used to be Amata, but we went our separate ways. Good terms, though. The fella that fills that role now is the bee’s fuckin’ knees. Tall, knows his way around a gun, kinda cranky, but he has a secret softy side.”

8. Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

“Well, the family I told you about earlier kinda fell in on itself when James fucked off. Jonas was murdered and I got stuck with the blame, James zapped himself with enough radiation to ghoulify a super mutant. Last I checked, Granny Palmer was ok, as okay as you can be when your only grandson is killed. I don’t know if she’s still around. I also had a mom once, she died about five minutes after I was born.

“The family I got now? Pretty bomb. There’s aunt Cross, though I don’t get to see her much anymore, Butch who surprisingly is like a brother to me, Fawkes the coolest meta human around, Dogmeat the goodest boy, that little urchin from Lamplight that shows up now and then to drink all my Nuka-Cola, and Charon of course. I’d say Wadsworth, too, but he’d take offense to that.”

9. What about partner or partners?

“Oh man he’s fuckin’ great. Lots of people are scared of him, but he’s real sweet when you take the time to know him. A complete badass that I would absolutely die for. A lot smarter and funnier than people give him credit for. He’s one of the few people who actually listens to me and doesn’t get mad when I get to yakking too much. Is willing to stick his neck out for me, not that I want him to do that, mind you, but it’s real nice to know he’d never throw me to the wolves like others would. Nice ass... what were we talking about?”

10. Have you ever heard of the Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

“Uh, yeah? I just told you I was with them once. To be honest, though, they’re far from perfect. Sarah and the old man are pretty great, and Cross of course. But there’s a lot of shit that goes down without the old man knowing about it. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear the guy died under ‘mysterious circumstances’ and they put up some wet mop in his place.”

11. Who are your enemies, and why?

“Jeeze who isn’t? I don’t know who’s paying them, but the Talon Company is dead set on killing my ass. Their client could be slavers since they hate me with a passion. Arefu doesn’t like me for some reason (ooc: thanks for the gitch, game). I don’t have enough fingers to count this shit out.

12. What about the Enclave?

“Those motherfuckers are lucky I wasn’t at Adams Airforce Base. I’d teach them the meaning of the word slaughter.”

13. How do you feel about super mutants?

“They’re real fun to fight with, but it’d be nice if they didn’t always try to shoot you on sight you know? Why can’t they be more chill like Fawkes?”

14. Have you ever fought a deathclaw?

*points at stump* “The fuck do you think?”

15. What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

“Me and a bunch of folks took over a spaceship once.”

16. Do you like fighting?

“Does a yao guai shit in a landfill?”

17. What’s your weapon of choice?

“I’m a real fan of stabbing shit, so I mostly work with swords. I have this neat ass one I made myself from schematics I got from vampires, don’t ask, I like to call Shishkebab. That baby has a funky little function where the blade catches fire, which is pretty damn cool if you ask me. I also got a neat sword with an electrified blade from a weird pre-war bunker thing.”

18. How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L.?)

“I’m fast, strong and I talk real good.”

[S-7 P-5 E-7 C-7 I-5 A-6 L-5]

19. Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think of them?

“Yes, I grew up in one. Keep up! As for the others I’ve seen, I guess I should consider myself lucky that I was stuck with the one I was. Vault-Tec is fucked, man.”

20. How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it effected you?

“Rad-X and Radaway are pretty expensive, so for the most part I just try to stay away from it. I did intentionally get super sick from radiation once, but as far as I know it didn’t have any lasting effects.”

21. What’s your favourite wasteland critter?

“Dogmeat. He hasn’t tried to eat me yet.”

22. What’s your least favourite wastelad critter?

“Fucking mirelurks. With their big meaty claws and their gross shells, swimming arounf waiting to get you by the ankle. I hear they have more legs in other parts of the country.”

23. How do you feel about robots?

“I guess they’re ok. I wouldn’t put a whole lot of trust in them, but if they don’t bother me then I won’t bother them.”

24. How many caps do you have on you right now?

“Not enough for you to wanna mug me for after this wraps up if that’s what you’re asking.” (she’s fucking broke)

25. Nuka-Cola or Sunset Sasparilla?

“Sunset Saspawhat?”

26. Do you do chems?

“Only when I need to, they’re too expensive otherwise.”

27. Do you ever think about the pre-war world?

“What is there to think about? They fucked up the world and now we have to deal with the consequences.”

28. What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

“Maybe if I got to Dad sooner he wouldn’t have died. Maybe neither of them would have died. I don’t know.”

29. What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

“I guess my biggest achievement would be getting to where I am now, finding a place and people who like me because I’m me. Learning that I can be loved. Mushy shit.”

30. What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

“To be able to live freely and happily no matter how you look or act. To always have an adventure waiting around the corner. I just want us all to have a good time, you know?”

[beaniegara]

11 Questions

tagged both by @yaboybergara​ and @ricky-goldsworth​ which is great because that gives me 22 questions mwahhahaha thank you folks!! <3 

RULES

1. always post the rules

2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

3. write 11 questions of your own

4. tag 11 people you want to get to know better (or however many you want)

now, see, I don’t know what to ask........ so I’m gonna be a little shit and tag folks to pick 11 of these 22 questions and answer them too. nini and gray pls don’t sue me for reusing your questions, thank fdgkfndgfdsk I’m tagging @kaylotta, @queerunsolved, @haunted-gays, @thatmademadej, and @i-am-ghost-proof-baby <3 if yall wanna do it, of course. no pressure.

this is incredibly long (and uncomfortably honest). let’s go lesbians let’s go

first, nini’s questions:

1. How many pets have you had in your life?

one. I’ve always wanted them but my mom and I have always lived in tiny apartments and had no way to care for a pet so it wasn’t until I was 17 that we adopted a kitten!! his name was merlin and he was the laziest, moodiest lil ball of fluff I’ve ever met. I.. had to give him away a year later because we moved to a place even smaller that wouldn’t allow pets so long story short I’m scarred for life and don’t think I can ever take any more pets without feeling guilty to my bone 

this is merlin btw I love him with all my heart and he now lives in a farm. as far as I know anyway.. :(

2. Do you believe in destiny? Why?

mmm interesting question. weird, metaphysical theories aside, I don’t believe anything is set in stone per se, but I do believe that some things are just... meant to be? in a way? for example, you can’t tell me ryan and shane weren’t meant to be friends and find each other in such an unlikely place as they did. one of my mottos, completely stripped from context because it’s from a rather pretentious tv show, is “the universe is rarely so lazy”. meaning that good things happen for a reason, and that you trailed that path for that to happen. yknow what I’m saying? I can’t really explain this without writing a 10 page essay because that’s just how my gemini ass thinks 

3. If you could chose one person on the great beyond, would you take the chance to talk to them? 

you mean someone who has passed away? oh yeah, I would talk to my grandmother. she was raising me and died when she was 4 and that changed not only my entirely life but our whole extended family dynamic... so many questions.

4. From all your hobbies, which one would you love to make a living of?

oh man, writing. I’ve been dreaming of being a writer ever since I was 9 or something. never panned out but that would certainly be the dream. if I could work with videos, subtitling, tv shows, cinema etc that would also be dope as hell!

5. What’s your favorite color palette to wear?

fkgjfsdgiusfdksd I have no fashion sense whatsoever, idk? I do like to wear dark clothes (because weight..) and reds (because pale).

6. What’s your opinion on queerbaiting?

I don’t have the time for it. for starters, it’s something that usually comes from people with very poor writing skills that can’t come up with plots interesting enough to keep viewers/readers hooked in. that already says something. no offense to anyone who is a fan of shows like these, but when it’s mostly written by white men I just don’t have any high hopes for it. you can ask flavs what my reaction was like when I realized the character I had headcanon’ed as wlw in hannibal was actually a wlw. I couldn’t believe it, because what???? since when does that happen, especially in a show run by a white man??? kjdfghsjgd 

I think this is part of a bigger conversation but my point is, don’t fall for it. I know it’s all part of the fight for representation, asking big names to produce big shows with lgbtq+ characters in it and so on, but for the love of god, watch something else too!!!! let GOT rot and die!!!!!!!!! look up different, smaller, cheaper shows, that’s where you find lgbtq+ content creators!!!!!! there’s so many wlw webseries out there, you wouldn’t believe it. you have a choice. don’t give any more of your time and love and word-of-mouth to shows/movies that clearly have no interest in being more diverse. they don’t deserve you. 

and that’s not to say any of it is on us. quite on the contrary, they’re using us. but aside from calling out their bullshit, we do have a chance to boost lgbtq+ content creators. don’t let them fool you into thinking they’re doing you any favors, or that they’re our last chance so we should be paying attention to what they’re doing/saying. fuck them!!!! you can’t queerbait me because I don’t trust you or give you the chance to do it. and you can shove your very straight, very white shows where the sun doesn’t shine, @ hollywood.  

7. Is there a language you would love to speak?

french and korean, mostly. I can understand a little bit of both, but I really wish I was fluent :( oh, will to live and learn, where art thou...

8. Do you have, like, a dream so wild you think it’s impossible?

kjgnsfdkjhjjs having enough money to support myself and my mother??? I don’t have any big, wild dreams, I think. just.......... living comfortably would be a+  

9. How many AUs of your own life do you have in your head?

oh man. I keep thinking about living somewhere in idk iceland or scotland just like... tending goats or something. that’s the most comfortable version of myself I can think of.

I also like to imagine if I could handle being a film director, because that sounds like fun. maybe a screenwriter? anything creative in films, really. 

there’s also the unattainable dream of having a wife and idk maybe adopting a kid? and we’d just. support each other. and love each other. and that’s just. I. [cries]

I like to think how things would be if I were actually hot and not socially awkward.. I’d be someone completely different, basically lol 

10. If you were to meet your younger self, do you think they would think you cool or not?

oh god, younger me would hate present me D: I had such high hopes for myself, I had lots of dreams lol never in a million years did I think I’d be where I am today...

11. Not a question, but please add something postive about yourself, something that you love about you.

IDJFSSIODUGSDFKGDSJ IT’S LIKE YOU KNEW I’D BE A NEGATIVE FUCK, NINI. I................................ I like that I have an easy time with languages? or with classes in general. I like to learn from people, I’m just really unmotivated to leave the house lol 

now onto gray’s q’s:

1. What’s your favourite music video of all time?

straight-up impossible questions right out of the gate huh I SEE YOU, GRAY. I SEE YOU kjdfgjfsdhgkdsjfs

I’ll have to go with a few,

“prototype” by viktoria modesta is just GORGEOUS. I can’t get over this video & song and it’s been years.

“jackpot” by block b looks creepy as shit but the context makes it such a clever yet fun video. take into account that these guys were screwed over by the kpop company that created the group, and that the lyrics talk about hitting jackpot in an industry that’s savage to say the least. to me this video is a visual representation of what a dangerous trap entertainment companies are in the kpop industry, and it also ties in with the groups’ story of being made into dolls by a company and then telling them to fuck off in the end lol 

“treat me like your mother” by the dead weather. I don’t know why I just love it. (cw: gun violence)

“emperor’s new clothes” by panic! at the disco. I MEAN, LOOK AT IT.

“manyo maash” by puer kim. I just love the aesthetic?

honorable mention: “tick tick boom” by the hives because that’s a banger. ba dum tssss.

2. What’s a favourite memory of yours?

I have plenty of good memories, thank god. I think one of my favorites is just hanging out with my friends in 2008-9; one of their older brothers was driving us around town, we were listening to the white stripes at full volume, singing along, all sitting pressed up close together in his shitty car. man, my teenage years would’ve been fantastic if I had stayed there with them!! 

3. Do you play video games? If so, which one’s your favourite?

I DO!!! I mean, not as much as I’d like because a) no money to spare on games/consoles, and b) I suck at basically everything. but I’m obsessed with paladins these days, and I’m also a big fan of LOTRO. I like horror games--mostly the resident evil and silent hill type--and fps. I grew up playing some tomb raider, medal of honor, resident evil... oh, those were the days. 

4. How did you first get into [your fandom of choice]?

with bfu it was that kind of thing where I’d see a meme or two cross my dash and it was always this ridiculous screenshot, or those “that’s it, that’s the show” kinda things with dozens of thousands of notes... until one day I was incredibly anxious, and I needed to watch something or I’d never finish the assignments I had for college. so I just thought “oh hey I should check out that unsolved thing people like so much, it’s buzzfeed so it’s probably good bg noise to work with” lol and it did work, and I did finish my assignments, and that means that I first watched the show barely paying any attention to it because I was busy doing something else. but ryan’s and shane’s voices helped me relax and to this day they still help a lot with my anxiety, to the point that I need to keep coming back every minute or so during episodes because I get distracted just listening to their voices and not absorbing a word lol

5. How did you first get into fandom in general?

uhh.. well, I was a big “pottermaniac” (that’s how I called it) since I was 9, but that was before I realized fandom was a Thing on the internet too. I remember when I was maybe 10 or 11, I entered a chatroom (god, those were wild) just in time to see someone saying in all caps HARRY POTTER IS GREAT AND YOU’RE ALL DUMB FOR NOT SEEING IT or something fkdsjgfdugfsdk and it was this girl using the nickname fawkes. she was older than me, I think that 15 or something, and we exchanged addresses (!!! how am I alive!!!) and were pen pals for a while. but it took me so fucking long to actually find the fandom online that I think my first brush with it was with the arctic monkeys forum I found online in 2008, where I mistakenly said I liked “the muse” and people laughed at me so I never went back to it lol then in 2010 I found out about kpop and that’s when I really dived head-first into fandom life. took me long enough (tbf I was very against the notion of being a “fan” because I was an idiot).

6. What’s at the top of your bucket list?

great fucking question. no idea. I guess.. traveling overseas? if we’re talking wild, distant things. but closer to my reality, getting a job that pays me at least the minimum wage disjgdfgkfsdk #fuckinternships

7. What’s something not many people know about you?

I love dancing and miss it like hell.

8. What’s your favourite medium for storytelling - movie, book, television, musical, comic, internet video, video game, something else? Why that medium?

ohhhhhhh this is an interesting question. as much as I love writing, and think that’s one of the best things we humans have ever come up with, I do love.. musicals? not necessarily theater--although that’s great and I’d sell my soul to see chicago live--but I love the idea of telling stories through music. I really wish we could bring back the custom of telling stories orally, and through music, and that we could as society agree that collective singing is beautiful and should be reintroduced in our day-to-day lives. sure listening to (1) artist singing is great but hAVE YOU TRIED SINGING ALONG DURING A CONCERT WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS SINGING TOO? best fucking feeling in the world. 

we had two bands in brazil, in different periods of time, that were so incredibly famous they’re still cornerstones in our music history. one was legião urbana, some folk-ey rock band that had a couple of songs telling these really long stories that I LOVE with all my heart. faroeste caboclo is our bohemian rhapsody, most people my age or older know the lyrics to it. and mamonas assassinas was this comical (?) rock band that sang dumb, fun songs that usually told stories too and that was the best. I miss that kinda thing. 

9. What’s your favourite food?

red meat, mainly churrasco. but I also can’t live without chocolate milk AND the whopper. capitalism has me by the stomach.

10. Do you have a joke to share?

fjgfsdgskfdgfsk I don’t.. it’s been so long since I last tried telling a joke, I don’t think I know any?

11. What song/artist helped you through your struggles?

pitty has been a big part of my life for some 14-odd years now. “be ok” by ingrid michaelson and “starlight” by muse were my anthems when depression hit hard during my teenage years. the white stripes has also been a constant, with gems like “blue orchid” and “a martyr for my love for you” turning into sort of theme songs for certain parts of my life. choi sam helped me through college. and even though they were a huge disappointment to the point that I stopped listening to them altogether, block b gave me a good 4 or 5 years of distraction from life.

[stjimmykingofshitmountain]

Bombs Away [Junkrat x Reader]

This was the third time this week your training coach had left you standing in a cold field in the middle of nowhere. Honestly? You were getting sick of this bullshit. You had better shit to do with your Thursday afternoon than stand around in a field in the middle of October. 

"Goddammit Junkrat..." You kicked a half built bomb on the ground which let off a few sparks and crackles.

"Y/n." A deep raspy voice startled you out of your little tantrum.

"Jeez.." You clutched your chest. "Roadie! You gotta stop that, man"

"Sorry... The rodent sent me." He started to gather the empty bombs you'd been tinkering with. "He told me to tell you he can't make it..." He pulled you onto his back and carried you across the field. This was nothing unusual, the first few times it had freaked you out but it was pretty comfy nowadays. You rested your arms on his head head and scoffed.

               "Did he say why?" You took in the tree lining the field as Roadie jogged across the field.. He was silent for a big dude.

"No. He just told me to 'Find the Sheila and tell her what oi said.'" The base was coming into view already. Too soon for your tastes. "I'll take these bombs to our workshop and finish them up for you."

"Roadie, you don't have to do that!" You hugged around his neck against the chill in the air.

"You go find Jamison. Find out what's goin' on." He came to a stop outside the door to the base and set you down on the ground gently. "Don't tell the rodent I said this. He sounded... off..."

                   Before you could ask what Roadhog meant he was walking away from you towards their workshop.  The doors of the base slid open and Tracer was stood on the other side.

"Oh, Y/N! Hiya love!" She was chipper as ever and her accent rang melodically through your head.

"Hi Lena! How are you?" You couldn't help but smile when Tracer was around.

"I'm good thanks, y/n. Say.. Have you noticed something off about Jamison?" She placed a hand on her hip and tilted her head. "He never showed up for dinner and he's not in his workshop." 

This would make the second person to mention Junkrat's mood to you. This was worrying indeed.

"I was just on his way there actually.. He ditched our training again." Tracer raised an eyebrow at that. Junkrat wasn't the most dependable but this was downright odd.

"Y/N, find out what's up with him would you? It's quiet with out him around. As irritating as he is." You jokingly saluted in response and Tracer smiled. "I have to head out. I'll see you later!" And with that she was gone. 

                      You strolled through the maze of the base accommodation halls until you got to a sterling white door with a gold name plate which read "Jamison Fawkes." You tapped on the little touch screen to alert the person inside you were there and instead of answering back through the telecom you heard an Aussie accent soaked "WHAT?!" come from inside.

"Jamison, it's Y/N. Let me in." You tried not t shout too loud as to not alert the other people in their rooms. When you didn't get an answer you tried again. "You've skipped the last 3 training sessions with me. You owe this to me at least." You tried to make your voice sound stern but traces of pity were seeping through. Jamison obviously sensed.

"I don' owe you jack diddly squat, sheila." He started off angry but you heard a little crack in his voice at the end following by some muffled sniffling. You were leaning defeated against the door when Winston came down the hall and pulled out his master key card that was mainly used in emergencies.

"Psst! Y/n!" He raised the card with a questioning look and you stepped back from the door nodding so he could let you in.He swiped the cards and the doors slid open to let you in.

                    Jamison's room was tidy, surprisingly, but the curtains were closed and the only source of light came from in between the curtains of evening sun. You scanned the room for Jamison, who was stood in front of a mirror, his mechanical arm lay on his bed. 

"Junkrat what the...?" You meekly moved towards him and the voice that left him startled you.

"Don't." His voice was broken and he just stared blankly back at himself in the mirror. 

                   Every trace of anger evaporated looking at him. His eyes were ringed by red marks and his skin was almost white against the black soot which seemed to permanently stain his skin. Where his prosthetic arm normal was were scratches, some oozing red. You gathered your courage and tried again.

"J-Jamison?" He didn't make you shut up this time but shifted his gaze to you. He looked visibly hurt at your expression. You eyes traveled his body assessing new and old scars.

"Sheila." You'd never heard Jamison speak so quietly, it didn't suit him. "I can't.. I don't..." He looked so defeated, he was even struggling to string a sentence together.  

"Take you time, Jamie..." You watched as he dropped to his knees and sobbed. He was wailing and the sound broke your heart. He sounded like a wounded animal. You knelt down in front of him and tentatively placed your hands on his shoulders, which were shaking violently. He wailed louder and he fell against you as he cried.

"Shh.. shh... It's fine. Shh." You hushed him and soothed his back. His wails were quietening down as he curled against you. He was just quietly sniffling. "Can you move to the bed?"

He nodded quietly as he clung to you as you both stood and walked to his bed. You moved his prosthetic arm carefully to his dresser next to the bed and sat him down and took a seat next him.

                                  He looked dead ahead without really seeing anything as your hand traced his biceps soothingly. He took a deep, albeit shaky, breath as he tried to talk again.

"I'm sorry." He said it so quietly you only just caught it.

"For what?" You looked at him and he slowly turned to look at you, looking at you as if you should know what he meant. "For that?! Jamison.. It's fine. Everybody has moments like that."

For some reason this seemed to anger him. He shot up off the bed and pinned you against the  wall with his one arm, getting in your face.

"Not me! I don't! I'm Jamison Flaming Fawkes." He raised his voice and spittle flew onto your face. He was unpredictable and unstable, you had to be on your guard. "I don't have these... these... feelings!" He pushed away from you and began to claw at the spot where his metal arm usually attached. "I blow up what I want, when I want. I don't care about anyone or anything." You could see the tears passing by his manic smile.

"Jamie stop! Stop! You're hurting yourself" You grabbed at his human arm and tried to pull his hand way from his amputated limb. "Stop! You're scaring me!" 

                      He stopped in his tracks.  He slowly turned to look at you, gripping his arm, hyperventilating  and tears threatening to spill over. The cogs slowly turned in his brain as he sat you down on the bed, only he laid down and pulled you onto him and then moved to re-attach his prosthetic arm to hold you in place and use his human hand to stroke his thumb across your cheek. 

"Shush, shh, shh, Sheila. It's OK. Nuts, Sheila. I'm sorry." He calmed your breathing first and then turned you to pull your face closer to his. "Please don't have a panic attack. It's OK shush." His thumb was still soothing your cheek.  He searched your eyes and you searched his for peace and tranquility. His mechanic hand had moved to the small of your back to hold you flush against him and a light pink blush was dusting his cheeks under the soot.

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on, Jamie?" You whispered. He guessed he owed you that much.

"I... Y/N be honest. Am frightening?" His head was propped backwards against the headrest.

"When you get mad you can be..."

"Tha's not what I mean." He took a deep breath  "When I fight.. When I'm doing normal things just.. walking around. Do I look hideous?" 

                      You were taken aback that the ever-confident Jamison Fawkes was asking you this. 

"What? No!" You propped up to look at him. "Jamie, what's goin' on with you?" He looked away, looking a little embarrassed.

"Well.. I just. I don't look like the other guys here... Just. McCree or Hanzo always have girls crawling all over them but with me.. They look the other way." His gaze fell on his peg leg, which was slightly bent at the knee for comfort. "I'm just a freak." He sighed sadly.

"Jamison Fawkes no." You turned his head to look at you. "You are a kind, unique, crazy individual and we would have you no other way. You've got a good heart... A thieving.. anarchist heart but.. A good one. Overwatch would be lost without you." 

He searched your face for any trace of a lie.

"Y'mean it Sheila?" He looked at you like a lost little puppy. You gave him a short, solid nod. "Then..." He pulled you forward and planted a soft, ashy kiss on your lips.

                          It took you a second to kiss back but when you did he pulled you even closer to him. Funny that the safest place you've ever felt, was in the arms of a criminally, insane pyromaniac. He rolled you over to be on the bottom so he could look down at you. 

"I love ya' Y/N." His eyes were bright and shiny and he had the cutest little smile on his face, not his usual manic grin. "My little time bomb."  You gave him a sleepy smile.

"I love you too, Jamie." You kissed one more time and then pulled him to lie next you. He pulled up the covers which were covered in soot, by the way, and threw them over you both. You were asleep immediately and Jamison smiled down at you, giving you a sweet little kiss on your forehead.

"Bombs away, Sheila. Bombs away..." He laid his head down and pulled you close to him and drifted off to sleep.

[BONUS ENDING]

                  Later on, Roadie walked through the door to see if the rodent was doing any better. His gaze immediately fell to the two of you snuggled against each other on the bed. He picked up the blanket which had fell off and placed in back over you. Junkrat's eyes opened slowly and he saw Roadhog in the dark and smiled at him. Roadie raised his thumb and gave you both a quiet chuckle and left. Jamie looked down at you and gave you a sleepy peck on the cheek before falling back into the embrace of sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: So I had just got Overwatch when I wrote this but I had adored Junkrat for a while by this point! I hope you guys liked this! I know it's cheesier than a bag of wotsits but I had to write this side to Junkrat! I love my Aussie Shrimp Pyro! <3 Potential smut coming sooon ;)

[kenzieam]

The Right Wrong Choice - Chapter 5 (Eric X OC)

Rating: M (swearing, violence, smut - everything you’ve come to expect from me :* )

Genre: General/Humor/Drama/Eventual Angst

Thanks everyone for the re-blogs and support!!! IT IS SO AWESOME!!!

@emmysrandomthoughts@beautifulramblingbrains @iammarylastar @tigpooh67 @bookwarm85 @mom2reesie @elaacreditava @badassbaker @captstefanbrandt  @treeleaf @pathybo @beltz2016 @lilu46  @girlwith100names @gaia25 @readsalot73  @slayer0507 @stone-met @lostinthebeans @lauraaan182 @letmagichappen @girlslovestorys @tonyt1995 @lacy-love @littlesouthernrebel @fuckthatfeeling  @sparklemichele @vitaevandal @shaunarcanine @jojogoo65 @micolegg @frecklefaceb @jaihardy @equalstrashflavoredtrash @bookgirlthings @queenara4 @sterek-foreverandever

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The next week is.....fuck, I can’t even. Eric ignores me and is a colossal prick to absolutely everyone. Punishments are thrown around like candy at a parade, and no one is safe. Fortunately, the day I get called out, so do four other people and we make a sorry sight dragging our asses around the track, only after an Erudite girl, Megan, pukes and passes out does he irritably tell us to piss off.

We’ve started fighting each other too, pairs are written on the board and we’re expected to fight until one of us wins or the other concedes. I got royally beat in my first fight against Ethan, and woke up to Maddox and Pax carrying me to the infirmary. My next fight was better, but I got seriously lucky and I’m sure the only reason I won against Megan was because she tripped and fell onto my fist. I’ve started training after hours again; Eric leaves me completely alone, and I need the practice.

At night my dreams are confusing and vivid. At first they made no sense whatsoever, but gradually a constant theme has emerged. Eric. Always Eric, in some shape or form. At first he was a dark shadow, lurking and stalking, making me glance nervously over my shoulder as I ran down endless corridors; but now, he is no longer a shadow, I catch glimpses of him and he’s not frightening anymore, he’s sad, maybe even heartbroken. In a way, that’s harder, I could fight against fear, but my heart is susceptible to sadness and misery. My parents always called my compassion for others a ‘weak throwback to your mother’s Abnegation side’ and made me feel like less for it, but I’ve never been comfortable with another’s emotional pain. It’s worse with Eric, because I know that I’m the cause, and after my initial knee-jerk reaction in the corridor, my feelings are starting to change or, more likely, hidden ones are starting to surface.

I’ve had a lot of time to think, and my mind runs the gamut from confused to crystal clear, sometimes during the same damn thought; it’s driving me insane. My tepid reaction to Pax’s attentions is what’s most telling, he’s exactly the type of guy I’d have mooned over in Candor, but now, he’s not enough. I’m not ready to chuck it all in and go running after Lurch though either; he’s capable of an incredible level of assholery, and he’s been ignoring me ever since our desperate kiss in the corridor. I’m not sure what that means, has he given up? Is he sullen and pouting? The man is a mystery; I had him pegged for a complete jerk, a sadistic bastard but the way he leaned against me in the corridor, the way he kissed me and ran his hands over my skin is the complete opposite of that, made my heart race like it never has before; but if I’ve screwed up that chance, I’m not going to beg for another.

I win handily in my second to last fight, kicking the ever-loving shit out of Megan’s boyfriend, a fellow Erudite named Daniel. I feel a flash of pride, he was definitely one of the top fighters in our class, but I saw a clear opportunity and as it turns out, he possesses a glass jaw. Eric surprises me by actually acknowledging my victory, nodding in my direction with, is that a spark of pride?

Today was our last day of the first phase, our last fight and I was pit against Raye. I hate Eric for this, for making me fight my friend. I won, Raye conceding before I broke her arm in a submission hold and I spat angrily at Eric’s feet as I stormed by.

I catch sight of his shadow leaving the training room later as I scan the rankings. I’m sixth, I am still in the running to be Dauntless. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________

There is no obnoxious clanging on the metal railing to wake us the next day. It is Visiting Day and basically a free-for-all, no scheduled activities. I have no idea if my parents are coming, Candor is not a touchy-feely faction and I’m sure I shocked them when I ‘chose’ Dauntless. I wander the Pit for awhile, meet Raye’s parents, and am about to leave, go to the quiet reading ledge I’ve discovered by the Chasm when I hear my name called.

“Madeline?”

I turn in shock. Both of my parents stand there, stark in Candor black and white. I swallow hard and walk towards them. As usual, they have no reservations about saying their mind.

“What were you thinking? Transferring to Dauntless? You could do so much better!”

A knot of humiliation tightens in my chest, was I that prejudiced when I was a dependent? Their intolerance shames me. I’m still formulating a response when I sense someone step beside me. A hand ghosts across my lower back, trailing fire and there is only one person in the city that I react to this way.

“Mr and Mrs Fawkes? I’m Eric, your daughter’s trainer and Initiation Leader.” His voice is smooth and diplomatic, but I see the tension in his jaw, he heard every word.

“Initiation Leader? You’re a little young, aren’t you?” My father, as per usual, has no filter; at Candor it was expected, here, it’s just rude.

“Age is only a number, sir.” I’m not sure if my father hears the warning in the word sir but I do, and my heart starts to pound. Strangely though, I’m not anxious for my parents, I’m anxious for Eric, I don’t want him to be subjected to the intolerance’s of my family.

My hand brushes his and I manage to hide my shock when he grabs it and holds tight. My parents may be willfully blind to the virtues of other factions, but their laser vision doesn’t miss this. I immediately don’t like the calculating look on my mother’s face; I can almost hear her thoughts out loud, well, she’s chosen the heathen faction, but at least she’s attached herself to a leader, we haven’t totally raised a moron.

Suddenly I want out of this, I’m done. I’m not sure what I expected today, but I realize with a jolt that I’m past my past, I’ve moved on, my expectations are different, my values have changed. Dauntless may not be the ‘intelligent’ or the ‘honest’ faction, but it’s mine goddammit, and I fit in. I’m not surprised when Eric catches onto these thoughts and squeezes my hand, it gives me the strength for my next words.

“Well, thank you for making the trip here. I’d like you to go now. Goodbye, Mother. Goodbye, Father.” I take a step back, turn in tandem with Eric, leave my parents standing there in shock.

I don’t even care anymore. I’m mortified when I start to sniffle. I try to pull my hand away from Eric’s, my face burning. He says nothing, just hangs on and leads me to the stairs. We hit the top of the stairwell and I frown when Eric leads me to an unmarked door, he pushes it open and we’re on a rooftop. His hand slackens slightly, letting me know I can let go if I want to, but I don’t anymore and feel warm at the small smile that touches his lips.

He walks to the far side, around a small shed and leans against it. I lean on the wall beside him and look out over the city. The view here is different than Candor and I immediately fall in love with it. We don’t speak for a long time and, like when we in the armoury, the silence is not uncomfortable.

I’m not sure what has changed, maybe it’s seeing my old life and it’s limited perspective, maybe just the passage of the last few weeks and my willing assimilation into Dauntless, but I no longer fight the realization that has been hovering over me. I’ve been fighting my fate and, like a true Dauntless, I’m ready to face it now.

I squeeze Eric’s hand, and as he turns his head to look at me, I move to stand in front of him. His other hand gently grips my hip and pulls me closer. He doesn’t say anything for a long time, just gazes at me and the softness in his eyes causes a heat to build in my chest. No one has ever looked at me this way before, and it doesn’t scare like I thought it would, like it did in the empty corridor when Eric took a chance and confessed his feelings for me and I ran away from him. His hand leaves my hip and gently cups my cheek and I lean my face into his touch. Why did I fight this? It feels like coming home.

“Madeline,” Eric whispers, his voice quiet.

I can’t wait any longer and close the distance between us. His ragged exhale tells me how hard this has been for him, the desperate edge to his touch mirrors my own.

“It’s Fox now,” I murmur as his lips claim mine. I crush my mouth to his, I can’t get close enough and his arms wrap around me, pull me against his chest. He groans as I wrap my leg around his hip and his knees give out. Slowly he slides down the wall, pulling me with him, until he’s sitting on the roof and I’m straddling his lap. I feel him hard and hot beneath me and my heart starts to pound with anticipation. I want this, and I want it now, I’ve wasted enough time.

I yank at his jacket while he does at mine and we pull reluctantly apart long enough to toss them away. His hands are hot on my skin as they slide under my shirt and pull it over my head. I’m wearing my favourite black lace bra and he groans in appreciation, dropping his head to kiss the tops of my breasts. As his hands reach up my back and undo my bra clasp I pull at his jeans zipper, reaching inside to stroke his cock. The sound he makes causes a shiver to run through me and his body physically jolts at my touch.

“Fuck baby,” I hear him gasp and my body clenches. I pull away long enough to begin yanking at my own jeans and Eric’s hands cover mine. He’s panting for breath and his pupils are blown. “Are you sure? Out here? But aren’t you a virgin?”

I clasp his face in one hand and reach back down to his cock with the other, his hiss is guttural and strained. “Yes, yes and yes,” I breathe, dropping forward to kiss him again. I don’t care where we are, I don’t care if this isn’t the most romantic of settings, what matters to me is the man below me, the man I am seconds away from connecting with. Damn him, he tries to pull away one more time.

“Fox,” he groans, “a condom.”

I stand and yank my jeans down, kicking them off furiously, my underwear follows but Eric snatches them from my hand before they can join the pile of discarded clothing. He stuffs them into his pocket as I hook my fingers into his belt loops and pull, he raises his hips to help. His jeans join the growing pile of clothes and I straddle his lap again, some buried instinct of mine makes me roll my hips against him and Eric drops his head back with a groan. I remember his earlier protest and whisper into his ear.

“I’m on the shot...hurry up and touch me, goddammit.”

The strangled moan that leaves his mouth makes the tingling between my legs grow. His hand cups me there and it feels good, it feels right. I moan his name and he groans mine in response. I shudder as I feel him push a finger inside of me and after a second of it feeling foreign it starts to feel good and I grind myself down on him.

“Fuck, baby you’re so fucking hot,” he gasps, his face buried in my neck as he adds another finger, stretching me wider. I know what is going to happen next, I know it will hurt at first, and I still want it. His fingers inside me are stroking some magic place inside me and the most amazing sensation is building in me. I try to speak and manage only a whimper instead, but Eric knows what is happening.

“That’s it baby, let go. Come for me,” his words are a powerful caress, his voice straining with lust and the tingling overwhelms me. I’d be embarrassed by the sounds I’m making if it wasn’t for how turned on they seem to be making Eric. I collapse against him, can’t stop myself from trembling. I’m super sensitive and Eric slowly withdraws his hand, his chest heaving.

“Oh god-” I can’t finish and Eric’s low chuckle vibrates against me. “Does it always feel like that?”

“Yes, if you want it to.”

“I do,” I breathe, rolling my hips again. “Please Eric.”

His hand touches me again, then strokes down his length, spreading my juices to ease his passage. Holding himself steady, he meets my eyes, his other hand on my hip, helping guide me down. I gasp as the head of his thick cock touches my folds and Eric drops his head back with a hiss, gritting his teeth. I lower myself further, forcing myself to relax and accept the strange intrusion. Eric is large and he’s stretching me almost too painfully, but I want this too much to back down now. I hit resistance, realize I’m at the last barrier of my virginity and bite my lip. No pain, no pleasure, if my first time is a gift, I want to give it to Eric. His groan is ragged as I push past the pain, as I take Eric’s whole length inside me, his thighs quiver beneath me.

“Fox,” his voice is threadbare, a gasp. His muscles tremble. I pause, giving both of us a minute to recover, then, instinct takes over and I stop thinking. I rise up, pulling almost completely free before lowering myself down again, and his cock glides deliciously inside me, the pain is already gone. His hands grip my hips hard enough to bruise and I curl against him, our heads press into the crook of each other’s neck. A desperation takes hold of me, and I gasp Eric’s name as he thrusts upwards, filling me completely, setting off more of the delicious tingles I felt before. Our bodies move as one, each thrust brings me closer and closer to the edge. His rough grunts and groans in my ear, the desperate way he gasps my name, his hands holding me almost suffocatingly close as his hips thrust upwards into me ignite an inferno inside me and I let it consume me, let it explode outward and envelop Eric too.

I scream his name as my orgasm hits, as I convulse in his arms and bare seconds later he joins me, roaring in his own release. I feel warmth as he pulses inside me and a bone-deep satisfaction, a rightness flows through me as his hips continue to snap erratically below me, his roar trailing off to a ragged groan. His head drops into my neck as he pants, as aftershocks race through his body and make his muscles jump. I’m spent, exhausted as I curl against his chest, but as soon as he withdraws from my body I want him again. I whimper and cling to him, relief flooding me when he pulls me close, buries his head in my hair and presses a tender kiss to my throat. It’s almost embarrassing at the level of vulnerability I’m willing to show Eric right now, but then, he’s baring his heart to me too.

“Take me to your apartment,” I breathe into his neck and Eric groans against my skin.

“I’ll never let you leave if I do,” his whisper is harsh and possessive.

“Good.”

Reluctantly we part to dress, and as I’m pulling my shirt down Eric’s hands run hot over my ribs, pulling me back against his chest, my ass bumps his hips; he is ready again, hard for me and a delicious shiver runs through me at the thought that me, my body, my mind is affecting him so strongly. His lips caress my ear then he whispers.

“Go ahead to my apartment, the door code is 74290. I’ll be right there.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to talk to Four, get him to erase the security camera footage.”

My heart skips, “you mean, they saw us?”

His breath is warm as his tongue joins his lips and I fight not to whirl in his arms and start ripping at his clothes again.

“No, not up here; they saw us in the stairwell, they’ll see you go to my apartment.”

I don’t want to hide, we shouldn’t have to and I say as much.

“Baby, I don’t want to either, but until you’re done training, we have to be discreet.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say ‘fuck discreet’ but Eric already knows me too well. “It’s just for a few more weeks, we’re starting the second stage tomorrow, stay calm Red.”

I scoff and playfully try to pull away, “stop calling me that.”

“What should I call you then?” He lets me pull away to arm length, his hand still holding mine.

I take a chance, hope I’m not wrong, but Dauntless are brave. “How about ‘mine’?”

Eric goes still, his eyes widen slightly and I can almost hear his heart pounding. He pulls me roughly towards him, cups my cheek. His voice is guttural and rough when he speaks again. “Are you? Mine?”

“Do you want me?” I counter, holding out my heart, waiting.

The low sound he makes almost stops my heart, it is single-handedly the most possessive and ardent, most worshipful and passionate noise I have ever heard another person make. He pulls me to him, crushing me against his muscular chest and his arms band tightly around me. His breath is slightly unsteady in my ear as his cheek rests against my hair and for a long moment he doesn’t speak. Then he exhales and presses a kiss to my forehead, his hand strokes gently along my cheek and he whispers in my ear.

“Yes.”

[rpchive]

120th Encounter-- The Starlit Song

An hour or so after returning to the IT, Collin steps into the console room to see if the others returned with the freed shadows from earlier. Maya is seated in the console room with the three former shadows and Azreldeh. Collin: I thought I'd find you guys here. So what's the story? Azreldeh: Well, with the mirror dimension gone, any curses tied to it were lifted, but also everything in that dimension had to go somewhere...

Maya: Seems like the population of this dimension doubled in an instant, but none of the reflections appeared anywhere near their counterparts. Since yours were already here, though, they weren't sent anywhere else... Collin: Well that's... awkward. So what do you guys think? You're gonna have to excuse me if I'm being kind of blunt, but I'm not exactly comfortable with just... letting them all move in. Maya: I mean, they're...right here. I guess they can decide to live wherever they want? We can take 'em where they wanna go, and from there it's not our problem anymore. Collin: That works for me if it works for you three.

SCollin: Your hospitality is first-rate, truly.

Collin: Look, I've got a lot on my mind right now. I'm just trying to get y'all somewhere nice where no one is going to mistake us for you three. SJay: ...It's fine. We shouldn't be here anyway. I don't care where you take us, just...anywhere is fine. Collin: I mean, give us some idea. The IT's got a lot of possibilities. Hot, cold, crowded, quiet?

SDaedalus: Somewhere that isn't so depressing and bleak would be a nice change of pace, so that should be a pretty easy requirement to meet.

Collin: ... Alright, I guess just touch down somewhere where there's a decent town or something? Maybe they'll help take them in or at least get them started.

He stops to think for a second before continuing. "Should we... give them some way to get a hold of us in case there's an emergency? I'd feel bad if we put them somewhere where they just wound up in danger again."

Maya: ...I don't know if the finished communicators we have work at a frequency that can cross time; space; and dimensions...

Azreldeh: Well, bring me one and I'll make it work out. We'll just need one to replace it with, but I'm sure XL and Rio are done by now... Collin: I left mine back in my room. Let me just... go get it real quick.

He hesitates partway through his words as he realizes what that means, but continues on. Without waiting for a response, he turns and heads back down the hall for his room.

He pushes open the door and steps inside, meeting Jay's stare as he turns to see who's coming inside. Collin briefly considers trying to say something to him but fails to come up with any words, instead breaking eye contact to turn toward his desk. He steps over and quickly picks up his communicator, then turns and heads back out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He takes a deep breath during his walk back to the console room, then gently tosses the device in Azreldeh's direction as he returns. "Heads up." Azreldeh catches the communicator, which crackles in her grip briefly as it glows a faint red for a second before she hands it off to Collin's reflection. "That should do it. Wherever you wind up, if you need us, we'll hear it. ...Assuming you call." SCollin: We'll... try to keep to ourselves for now. If we wind up getting stranded in a cave or some shit, you might wind up hearing from us soon. 'Course you could just ignore it...

SDaedalus: I don't think they would've bothered giving us something if that was their plan. Maya: I'll get this thing moving somewhere, then. In the meantime, I guess you can do what you want...just don't get into trouble, of course. SCollin: I'll try my best. Is that a kitchen over there? Maya: Yep. With any food you can think of; and plenty more you can't. SCollin: Oh thank fuck, some actual decent food. FaWKES didn't exactly have the most varied palette. If you'll excuse me...

SCollin casually hops up and heads inside the kitchen. A while later, Maya successfully lands the IT at an unfamiliar destination. Once the group determines their surroundings are safe, they part ways with the shadow counterparts, leaving the normal crew to their current devices. Collin: ... I do hope they'll be alright. It's gotta be hard after suddenly getting cut loose like that. Maya: ...I doubt they have much experience with nature or people. Any environment would be hard to adapt to. Still, without the overbearing sense of wickedness and without anyone forcing them to do things, I figure they're resourceful enough to figure things out on their own... Collin: And if things get too dicey, they could always just call us to bail them out of whatever trouble they've gotten into. I didn't want to leave them entirely stranded; I just... can't really focus on a lot right now. Azreldeh: No, I understand. I'm sure they would too...at least, to some degree. What're you gonna do...? You can't just avoid your room forever... Collin: I... don't know. I'll be honest, the way Jay is right now, he... scares me a little. It's like he's not even the same person, just some stranger saying he's my boyfriend. I don't know what to expect from him now. Maya: ...I don't think that's the case. I've seen cases like that before; abnormalities that replaced employees and walked around in their skin, or remotely controlled them like playthings, but this seems...different. The coldness in his voice; it doesn't sound like he's a different person, it sounds like he's distancing himself; but...it's not exclusively that...that's undoubtedly Jay himself, but it also feels unfamiliar, yet not caused by an outside force...I think something's changing...something's definitely wrong, we just don't know specifically what that could be... Collin: I'm not really sure if that's better or worse... Maya: What I'm trying to say is that he needs help. He might not be scared at all, but something terrible is happening to him, and all we've done is...get angry, or hide...somebody has to do something...whatever's happening is clearly something big. If we can't fix it, I don't know what will happen...nobody even bothered trying to get through to him when he started acting weird...did...did you leave him alone? Collin: I mean, he was in our room a bit ago when I went to get that communicator? Maya: But he was alone, wasn't he? Collin: Y-Yeah... I should probably go back, shouldn't I? Maya gets out of her chair and immediately starts going down the hallway. "...Why is nobody else-?!" Collin immediately hurries after her. "Well Demo is probably still out of it and Daedalus is... y'know..." Maya: That's his problem!! Jay is your saa! Jay is your saa!! He's your boyfriend; something is happening to him, and you just...!! You don't even understand what losing somebody feels like, do you?!

Barreling forward, Maya practically breaks the door down as she rams her weight into it on her way into the room.

"...JAY!!"

At the back of the room, Jay stands alone, a gate open to a vaguely familiar location behind him; a place looking similar to the cobalt dimension. As he turns to face the group, two things become apparent: the shell around his injured arm has cracked away completely, now revealing his magic, an electric shade of blue that shifts closer to teal on occasion; and that red markings have slowly begun to snake up the sides of his face, curvy things vaguely shaped like clouds. His eyes, more of a cloudy blue than the vibrant color they had been before, rest on no one in particular, as if him turning his attention to the noise was simply a formality.

"...Don't bother worrying now. Changing things after they matter doesn't change anything at all."

Leaving nobody time to respond, he steps through the gate, which closes behind him like water going down a drain, leaving the room in darkness. Collin looks as though he's about to be sick, stepping close enough to his desk to lean against it as he continues to stare at where his gate was. A few seconds later he finally manages to choke out a few shaky words. "Oh God... What's happening to him?" Maya stands in the doorway, her breathing heavy and ragged as a multitude of reactions race through her mind, each bubbling up like a volcano's reaction desperately attempting to win the race to the surface. Collapsing her weight against it, she begins to shake as she forces some form of response out. Her words carry an incredible amount of weight as she audibly chokes back either tears or anger. "...If we can't make somebody tell us what's happening, we're going to tear through their entire library if it means finding out ourselves. We can't let him go like this. We have to stop this now..." Collin: I... I don't... K-Karumet... We need to get Karumet back. Maybe she'll know what's happening to... Maya: ...I'll get us back to her. You just...do what you have to.

Shoving herself off the door facing, Maya leaves for the console room, leaving Collin alone. Collin shifts slightly and sits down on his desk, staring a hole into the floor in front of him. Tears well up in his eyes, although he fights them off for several minutes. Finally, just as he's about to reach his limit, he swears loudly and scatters everything on his desk to the floor. Spinning around, he charges out of the door and storms down the hall toward the pantheon's room. He throws their door open without hesitation, glaring at a very surprised Ezorius as he breathes out one demand through gritted teeth and burning eyes.

Collin: I need my magic back. Now. Some time later, the IT lands back in the place Lobotomy had once stood. Surprised, but not stunned, Karumet greets whoever comes to the door. Collin stands on the other side, more composed but strikingly more serious in his expression than normal. "We need your help. Jay's... changed. His magic color changed, he has strange red lines forming on his face, and his personality is... completely different. He abandoned us not too long ago and we have no idea what's going on. Can you help us?" Karumet's expression sours as she frowns for a moment in confusion.

"...His magic and personality changed...? Was he exhaling any?" Collin: Yeah, it was yellow at the time, but when he left his arm was blue. Do you know something, then? Karumet: ...His injured arm, the shell on it broke, didn't it? And it was blue, despite his own magic being yellow? And now all of his magic is blue...I haven't seen this since the war, I--...

Maya: Please, I really don't care about exposition, what the hell is wrong with him?! Just come out with it!!

Karumet: ...He's becoming shalvenn.

Collin: ... Fuck, fuck, fuck! Part of me kept thinking that was what was happening, but-... Nevermind. What do we do? Karumet: From what you've told me, it's unclear if he's sacrificing his mind or his body, but either way, it sounds like something's deteriorating...I don't think he'll wind up like Avarice, but...this is still in its early stages; despite how it looks, we can still turn this around. I'd compare his current state to being...lost in a fog, or something. It's hard to get out, but if you know what to do...

She seems to remember the original question at about this time.

"...The starlit song. It's the only thing any kleivenn's been able to do that saved a shalvenn. But it's been so long since the war, and I personally haven't heard it...but Nine might know..." Collin: Alright... Then we need to get to Kujaar. But even with the song, how're we going to find him? The place his gate was leading to, it looked the same as how it does inside his mind. But that's... not possible, right? Azreldeh: Weeeeellll...

Wringing her tail nervously, Azreldeh glances around as she starts to babble.

"With the mirror dimension gone, the demons inhabiting it needed to be relocated; but hell's a place reserved for devils; souls; familiars and the like; and the in between only has chaos agents; and well, we can't go to heaven, so...well, since we couldn't go topside, we needed somewhere else to go, and since Jay was trying to create a new dimension, and he technically had the structure for one, the agents of the in between must've...made...it...real?" Collin stares blankly for a second, then covers his face with his hands as he exhales slowly. "This is, unquestionably, a complete disaster. Do I even want to know how you know that?" Azreldeh: W-well, it's happened before is all...! But I wasn't around for that... Collin: That's a little crazy to think about. Anyway... Can you come back with us, Karumet? Or is there still stuff you need to take care of here? Karumet: I can come back. It seems like the people here are adjusting well enough, and nothing escaped Lobotomy, so I think things will be alright... Collin: We can always come back to check on things, or maybe the IT will just drag us back if something goes sideways. Regardless, it'll be good to have you back. I'm... sorry things aren't more like they usually are when we came back to get you, though. Karumet: Seriously? You're worried about how I feel? ...We need to figure out that song... Collin: Right. Let's get moving to Kujaar then. Hopefully Nine really does know about that song...

Returning to the IT, the group heads for Kujaar, where they find Nine in their usual location.

Nine: Nice t' see ya ag'n! Though, if yer here, I doubt it's fer a good reason; y'all never jus' visit... Collin: Sorry, it's just... always hectic. But you're right, it's not good news. Jay is turning shalvenn, and apparently the starlit song is the only thing that can help him now. Do you know it? Nine: ...Never a dull momen', 'uh...? I's been a while since I've seen a kleivenn that wasn' damaged b'yond help, so I migh' not remember it all...lessee...

Though the sun may rise, And the moon may fall; We're carrying on With our starlit song...

Through hardships, And friendships, We've gone through it all;

Ehh...somethin'....sentimental? What goes here...

Though the moon may rise, And the sun may fall; We'll keep carrying on With our starlit song... Collin: I don't mean to pressure you, but... you do remember it, right? Nine: Ehhhh, it was...what was it...?

Somethin', somethin'; The rise and the fall... Collin: Nine, you're killing me here. Nine: Hey, you remember somethin' after several thousands of years without needin' to!! Collin: I'm not even-!

He stops himself and closes his eyes for a second, forcing himself to try and slow down. "... Okay, I'm sorry. But if you don't know the song, then who does?" Nine: I's jus' the one line. I bet Holly'd know; she writes everythin' down. Collin: Speaking of that, I'm probably gonna need a copy of it too... So I just need to read it to him and he'll go back to normal? Nine: It ain't that easy. If a kleivenn's gone shalvenn, i's 'cause somethin' made 'em go against their drivin' wish real hard. Tha's what breaks 'em so badly; they see the thing they're made for as inherently wrong, an' if they don't wanna live for wha' they're made t' live for, then they ain't gonna live for it, no matter what that means for 'em. If you want him back, you gotta find out wha's wrong. The starlit song, it offers clarity; it cuts through wha's wrong and brings 'em back t' their senses, but in the end, yer th' only thing standin' between yer saa 'n whatever happens next.

as intense as this arc is I really do like just having this lore out here

Collin: But Jay's wish is... Oh God, what did I do...? Nine: Tha's jus' somethin' y' gotta ask 'im. Hurry t' Holly; I know you can reach out ta him. Collin: ... Okay. Thanks for your help, and... sorry for always being a downer.

He goes ahead and leaves Nine's room and heads for Holly's library. Holly is up at the receptionist desk, waiting for Iris to finish loading a cart full of books that need to be relocated. Blinking against the sunlight that filters in as Collin enters the library, Holly squints in his direction.

"...The human boy; Collin, wasn't it? You're back again...I take it there's another incident on your hands. You children are far too young to be shouldering so many burdens..." Collin: I'm starting to think you might be right. I... need the starlit song. Nine can't remember the whole thing, but they said you'd probably have it written down or something. Holly flashes a grim expression before climbing down from Iris' shoulder, Iris giving Collin a sympathetic look before shifting her attention to Holly, who is opening a cabinet behind the front desk. Pulling out a dusty scroll, she unfurls it atop the desk, revealing the aged Chariot upon it.

"Though the sun may rise, And the moon may fall; We're carrying on With our starlit song

Through hardships, And friendships, We've gone through it all;

The taken, The given, The rise and the fall;

Though the moon may rise, And the sun may fall; We'll keep carrying on With our starlit song.

I remember the lullaby all too well; a song passed down through generations to every scribe, sung throughout centuries to make its way to the unfortunate, lost souls that need it most. I pray you can make use of it well..."

this is just one of those random things I’ve sang in the shower a handful of times out of nowhere; but this one always came back with the same words for me

I’d sing it but I don’t think anyone’d want to hear it after knowing what it’s needed for

but first and foremost; it’s a kleivenn lullaby. it’s something everyone’s heard their entire lives, something sang for comfort, passed down throughout generations, and that’s what makes it so impactful

Collin: I really hope so. Would you mind copying that down on something I can take with me? And uh... that I can read? Iris: Oh, leave it to me! I'll have it written up in a minute! You just worry about finding out what to do next, okay? I'll bring it to your ship when I'm done. Seeing you off is the least I can do. Collin: Alright. Thanks for everything, you two. Holly: Anything we can do to help, we will. You just worry about yourselves, alright? Collin: It's hard to even think about anything else right now, honestly. Anyway, I'll be back at the IT.

He gives them a small wave and heads back for the others at the IT.

Iris reaches the IT with the starlit song's translation transcribed upon her paper of choosing. Seated coiled up at the door, she offers the note to Collin. "Be careful out there, okay? We'll all be here when you get back!"

Collin takes the copy from her and glances over it for a second. "Thanks Iris. Uh, one last thing, actually. Is this still going to work if I read it in English? If this only works in Chariot, I'm gonna need a pronunciation guide or something." Iris: As long as he can understand you, it should work. The words carry the magic of kleivenn as a whole, after all. Collin: Good to know. Hopefully things won't be so, uh, rough the next time we're here. Iris: Hopefully so! You haven't even had the chance to really explore Kujaar, after all... Collin: No kidding. Anyway, I- we don't really have time to waste. Take care, alright? Iris: You too! Collin gives a small wave and then heads back inside the IT with the others, reading the paper in his hands over and over again. Sitting at the console, Nydins turns around to face Collin. "...When do you want to try and find him?" Collin: The sooner, the better. I don't really know how long it's going to be before Jay...

His voice trails off for a second, unable to finish the thought. He quickly changes gears instead and continues. "I just need some time to try and memorize this as best as I can. I guess the real question is how long will it take to get to... whatever we wanna call that place Jay went?" Nydins: The IT can't track where he's gone; it can't recognize him in his current state; but it can track the demons from Azreldeh's district, and all of them are in the same dimension. I don't know entirely how long it'll take, but we'll probably be able to find him in the same day. Collin: It'll have to do. I'm gonna be in my room for a little bit so I can focus. Nydins: That's fine. I'll send someone to let you know when we've landed, then. Collin: Thanks. You guys know where to find me, then.

He heads down the hall for his room, occasionally glancing at the paper. [Meanwhile...] Daedalus continues pacing back and forth in his room as he has been for the past several minutes. Every so often, he pauses to fiddle with a tool or piece of material, but his fuming attitude prevents him from focusing on any specific thing for very long. Demo: ...Are you seriously that upset still? He only threw me... Daedalus: That's not the only thing he did...

he borrowed Demo’s powers! it’s something Jay’s never done before, but he’s always capable of. he just didn’t know he could do it. he could probably do that to anyone with magic tbh

but none of that really hurt her or anything, so idk why he’s so upset

Demo: ...I know, but...something's definitely wrong with him right now. I'm not sure what, but I can't hold it against him knowing something's happening... Daedalus: I know something's wrong with him, but...

He trails off for a second before finally letting out a frustrated growl and presses the heel of his palm in between his eyes.

"The fact that I can't even be mad at him for the shit he said back there just makes me even more mad." Demo: ...I know. You have every right to be. Regardless, he'll be sorry for everything he's doing now, like he always is...so don't stay too mad... Daedalus lets out a deep breath as he puts both hands down on a workbench and leans against it. "I'll... try my best. I make no promises if he keeps running his mouth the next time we see him, though." Demo: ...You're free to fight him, but if we have to...

Her voice trails off for a second.

"...If it really comes down to it...I'll be the one to...handle him..." Daedalus looks back over at Demo, raising an eyebrow in concern as he stands back upright. "Geez, I know he's kinda gone nutty but it can't be that bad, right?"

it isn’t a rapid process; Avarice was proof of that. she started the human-kleivenn war and she was still alive, just horrendously decayed; so realistically, no matter how far gone he was, Jay would still be himself to some degree for several decades

Demo: ...I don't know what's wrong, but...I really can't shake this feeling...he's definitely getting worse wherever he is... Daedalus walks over toward Demo, carefully putting one hand on her shoulder. "Look... We'll find him, knock some sense back into him, and get him back here safe and sound, alright? You guys have done it before, we can do it again." Demo: ...Right. We should probably get back out there, huh...? Daedalus: Probably, yeah. Maybe someone knows what's going on now. Seems like we're moving again, at the very least. The group readying to confront Jay slowly gathers in the console room. Rio and Paprika remain to keep Nydins company, while Maya; Karumet; Echo and Demo wait for Daedalus and Collin to be ready Soon enough, Daedalus steps into the console room to meet the others, followed shortly by Collin and Fawkes.

Fawkes: I hope you don't mind me tagging along. Collin told me what was happening when I ran into him earlier. Rio: The more the merrier, right? Though this...probably won't be very fun.

Paprika: Well, we'll just have to make it better when you bring Jay home, of course! Collin: That... sounds like a plan to me.

His attempt at trying to reciprocate their optimism falls somewhat flat due to the concern that he can't keep out of his expression. He fidgets with the collar of his robe as he waits for the IT to finally land. As the IT touches down, Demo is apprehensively the first to exit. The cobalt dimension remains in a similar state to before, however none of the cobalts themselves seem to be anywhere around the IT, which has landed halfway up the tower. Out the window, Demo notes that Jay's oracle is nowhere to be seen against the dark sky. As the others follow her out, Collin glances around nervously. "I thought being here the first time was bad enough, but somehow this place feels even stranger now." Demo: ...I don't even wanna ask your girlfriend if her "buddies" got here first. The state Jay was in, I wouldn't take him off the table either...

Echo: Seriously? Jay? I know he's acting weird, but do you think he'd just...kill people over it?

Karumet: You're vastly underestimating the situation. There's no telling how far this has advanced; and it's clear that whatever state he's in is volatile...what he wants at this point wouldn't change the cobalts. They exist for Jay's magic, for his proper cognition...as he is, they're helpless punching bags... Collin: Let's not think too hard about that yet, okay? He was at the top of this thing last time, so that's probably where he'll be again, right? Demo: ...Hopefully. I don't really wanna wander around out here... Collin: Sounds like we're on the same page then. C'mon, we don't have any time to waste.

He turns and hurries up the stairs to the next level. For several floors, there is nothing else in the cobalt complex. Near the higher floors, however, there are blatant signs of a struggle, ultimately leading to several of the cobalts having been killed, many of them having their throats cut. Maya's cobalt seems to be the only one who is even remotely left alive, severely injured, but not mortally so. Propped up against the wall, she breathes slowly and heavily, glaring at the group as they climb the stairs.

"...You're a little late, superman...there's barely anyone left to save...Demo chased him...to the roof...Collin and Tori are up there too, but...if we're any indication, then...they won't be much better off..."

She hunches over, coughing up blood before leaning back up against the wall.

"...I don't know what you're pulling out your ass...but you better make it count..."

Jay silenced all the cobalts because their counterparts never said anything to try and help him

Maya was the only one who did, so hers just got beaten within an inch of her life because she tried to stop him

Collin's breathing falters as he takes in the scene in front of him. Putting up one hand to his throat, he takes several seconds to calm down enough to respond.   "I... I will. I promise." CMaya: ...Don't let him get you too. I don't know what he's thinking, but...it's not right... Collin: ... I know. I'll make this right, just... please, hang on.

He hurries onward, Fawkes following closely behind him. The group reaches the roof of the building, where Jay stands over cobalt Collin, who he has pinned to the roof like an insect with several of his spears.

Across the rooftop is Cobalt Demo, who is kneeling beside Tori. Bound with chains and gagged with what appears to be a torn, red bandanna, Tori nervously looks at the group and struggles to say something that she cannot convey around the fabric.

Jay's outfit has changed significantly since the last time he was seen; taking on a more formal appearance with a cloak, boots, and slacks, all the blue of his dimension. His dulled, icy stare levels with Collin's as he comes into view.

"...You kept me waiting...again."

something like this

He shifts his gaze to Fawkes. "Come to let me down one last time, I see." Collin: No, Jay. We're here to help you. We're your friends, remember? alienrabitt: My friends? My friends wouldn't have done this to me! My friends wouldn't have let this happen!! Collin: That's why we're here, Jay. It's going to be okay.

He takes a deep breath and then begins the first part of his song, forcing himself to meet Jay's cold stare.

"Though the sun may rise, And the moon may fall; We're carrying on With our starlit song..." Summoning forth a wall of spears, Jay flinches as Collin begins to sing.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! That...that won't stop me!"

He unleashes his spears upon the group. Fawkes lunges forward in front of the others as his arm transforms into its shield configuration. However, his shield is now a bright yellow, and crackles like an electric lantern. Jay's spears crash against it, one after the other, but none manage to break through his defense.

Fawkes: I won't fail you again, Jay! Even if it means stopping you right now!

Collin's song continues, now louder to be heard over Fawkes and his shield.

"Through hardships, And friendships, We've gone through it all;

The taken, The given, The rise and the fall..." Gritting his teeth, Jay summons even more spears, many of which he seems to intentionally overshoot beyond the shield. One by one, the spears stuck in the ground create lines of magical currents, slowly branching out to connect to each other, slowly closing in on the group. Daedalus: Oh no you don't!

A flaming sword clangs into form in his hands,which he drives straight into the ground. Searing lines of flame shoot outward in several directions, weaving in between spears that have not yet connected and piercing through some connections that already exist. "No more spear shit, you're in timeout now!"

Collin reaches the last verse, tears starting to brim in his eyes and squeeze his voice. Balling his hands into white-knuckled fists, he powers through his words anyway, desperate to reach out to Jay.

"Though the moon may rise, And the sun may fall; We'll keep carrying on With our starlit song!" Jay's spears abruptly vanish as he falls to his knees, breathing heavily. Shakily, he speaks.

"...Why did you...why did you come here?" Having finally finished the song, Collin untenses ever so slightly as he takes a few small steps towards Jay. Fawkes deactivates his barrier as the weapons disappear, although he stands ready to act if Jay makes any sudden moves. Collin swallows once, then takes a deep breath before finally speaking.

Collin: Jay, do you not... You're becoming shalvenn! If I don't do something to help you, I'll... I'll lose you forever! We're here because we want to help you! I don't care what it takes, I'll do anything if it means you'll come back to us! alienrabitt: ...I...I did this to myself. I deserve it, after everything that's happened, after everything I messed up...! I can't just keep going on like I haven't done anything...! Collin: Everyone makes mistakes, Jay! You don't deserve any of this! Half the problems we've had recently were because of bad decisions that I made, but... that's not worthy of a death sentence, right? Why would it be any different for you? alienrabitt: It wasn't just recently, it was a lot of things over time...so many incidents...so many people got hurt...and when I became a hermes...I...I was so selfish. I could've done anything. I could've saved the humans that took me in; I could've spared Gossip from being tortured by that horrible city; hell, I could've made everything there better so that nobody had to be hurt or killed, but all I could think about was...

He pauses for a minute, glaring at the ground. Taking in slow, deep breaths, he hisses out "...But the only thing I've ever been able to think about was you. All I've ever done has been for you. You said you wanted to make me happy; we've been fighting for everyone's freedom; so then why...?

“You severed yourself from the pantheon so that I would be comfortable with you, but the problem wasn't them...why? Why? All you needed to do was tell me that you didn't need me anymore; why don't you understand?! Even when I can't fight for you, I've only ever been your sword, your tool! You have never seen me as a person!

“I deserve this! I deserve this wicked deterioration; I deserve this slow, painful, merciless death! Anything I could do to myself is better than spending another waking moment knowing that, even though I have sacrificed everything I'd ever had, it still wasn't enough to make you let me go...if you didn't come here to kill me, just leave me behind; I'll do this just like I've done everything else, by myself..." Collin: J-Jay... What're you talking about? I've never seen you as anything less than a person! I tried everything I could to prove that I cared about you! I would move mountains if I had to for you! You saved my life, why would I ever not want you to be a part of my life? When... When have I ever seen you as just something for me to use?! Tell me so I'll never make you feel that way again! alienrabitt: You didn't let me go!! You saw me doing everything I could for you, knowing I was literally born to do it, and you never once asked if I could do anything else! I don't even know if how I feel about you is how I feel!

Just...just because you don't have anything else doesn't mean you had to take everything I had...! I had a family...I wasn't even human; by all accounts, I would've never been able to experience that. Hundreds upon thousands of years, I saw countless families, but I never understood, and once, just once, I could. I had something precious to me; something truly irreplaceable, and it...it was taken from me right in front of me, I was left helpless as innocent people were murdered in cold blood all because I was reborn for you; all because I had to wait for you!

And then I died, and I had it, I had the chance to bring them back, and you...! You...!! You ruined everything for me! How can you stand here, and look at me, and in front of everyone we know, say so honestly that you cared, that you'd do anything for me? You don't even ask me if I'm doing what I want to do; you just let me act without thinking, and it's cost me everything...! And it's cost you everything...! How could you...?! How could you?!

I feel so cold reading this

Collin: I.... I.....

He breaks down into tears, dropping to his knees. "I... I didn't know! I never wanted you to suffer! I didn't even know I was wishing you into existence! When you made your wish to be tied to me, I just... I thought this was what you wanted! How was I supposed to know that you were suffering all this time?" alienrabitt: I didn't know...what was wrong...or even what to say. By the time I realized it, everything was already...my arm was...there wasn't anything I could do...I'm so sorry... Collin: ... What can we do now? It's not too late to pull this back. We can still save you, start from the beginning... You don't have to be tied to me anymore. I... honestly never wanted you to be. I've only ever wanted you to be free... alienrabitt: I don't know...this isn't like changing my driving wish, this is something...bigger...I don't know if we can fix it... Collin: Then what can? All I want is for you to be able to live and be happy. You don't deserve this... Karumet: Phoenix; Mother of the Saas. Undoubtedly, after stopping Xentrilis, she and Nine still owe us something...it's the only way to do this without losing him. Collin: ... Jay, please. Come back with us so we can help you... alienrabitt: I...I don't know how long I'll stay how I am...the song you sang can't last forever...

Karumet: If it lasts to Kujaar, it'll be all we need. Collin: We just have to hurry. Please, Jay... Jay wordlessly dispels his remaining spears and releases Tori from her restraints. Yanking the bandanna out of her mouth, Tori shoves herself upright. "...He'll go." Taking that as an invitation, Collin slams his hands together with a deafening clap, and in an instant everyone who isn't a cobalt finds themselves back inside the console room of the IT. Shoving himself up to his feet, he spins to face Nydins and speaks with an unrecognizable tone. "Nydins, get us to Kujaar and Phoenix. Now." Nervously spinning in her chair, Nydins immediately sends off the IT. "O-okay...!!" Collin: This isn't fast enough!

He steps over to the console, tears still running down his face, and slaps one hand on its side. The IT's engine changes pitch dramatically as the ship's speed rapidly begins to increase. The IT rumbles to a halt as it collides with its destination, the door swinging open on impact. Collin staggers slightly as he lets go of the console, quickly catching himself as he stands back upright. Through slow, shuddering breaths, Collin looks back to Jay to speak. "C'mon... We're almost there..." The pair enters Kujaar, where Nine is already waiting, curious about their landing.

"Never seen you guys rush like that--...Jay..."

They get a bit closer, but still stay at a distrusting distance.

"Your...everythin' is...how're you...? ...We...we have to help...Phoenix 's still where I left 'er..." Collin: Please, you have to get us to her! She's the only one that can help him! With a grim nod, Nine heads back towards Phoenix's location. Deep beneath Kujaar, Phoenix remains, patient as ever. As Jay enters her chamber, Phoenix immediately lowers to turn her attention to him.

"A shalvenn...no, not quite yet...I never thought we'd get the chance...we can still save him...what do you need?" Collin: I... I'm not even sure anymore. I think it's... It's our connection with each other. It's constantly putting pressure on him and... He doesn't need to be tied to me like this. With a soft nod, Phoenix removes Jay's oracle, taking it into their claws and flooring him instantly. As the oracle is surrounded in an opalescent light, Phoenix addresses Jay personally.

"...With your soul unclouded, speak your honest desire, and fulfill the destiny you've chosen..."

alienrabitt: ...The only thing...the /only/ thing I've wanted is to make it all right...I want somewhere safe to come back to, no matter what...but I need the power to protect it...no matter what...I don't want to exist for anyone or anything but myself...I just need whatever it takes...to stand up for the things I want to protect...

Phoenix: Then your wish; ultimately; will be granted throughout.

There is a sound like glass breaking as Phoenix's light fills the room, spreading out further, and even beyond the horizon. When the light fades away, Jay's oracle is more of a mint color, accented by darker shades of blue. Just as carefully as she had removed it, Phoenix returns Jay's oracle, and he returns to his natural state and appearance within the instant.

despite everything Collin still has influence over him, but it’s only partial. that mint color means Jay’s his own kleivenn; Collin’s accents are a healthy amount

and I mean yeah, this could’ve been done ages ago, and this log hurts like a bitch, but it needed to happen. having all this on the table was important

Collin looks at Jay with a mixture of disbelief and uncertainty. "Is... Is it done? Is he going to be okay?"

Phoenix: ...It seems like the corruption's subsided. His arm hasn't shelled back over...it's staying yellow. Collin: I... I can't ever repay you enough for this... Phoenix: You brought me back from the dead, and you saved our city, along with countless other kleivenn. Rescuing your saa from the brink of self destruction is the least I can do for the sake of our champions. Collin: ... I don't really feel much like a champion. Nine: Maybe you've spent too much time fightin' and not enough time bein' rewarded fer fightin' stuff! I think you need a break. Collin: I... Nevermind. I should... take him back to the IT. He's going to need a lot of rest after all of this. Phoenix: Take care! We'll always be here when you need us. Carefully picking Jay up, he looks back at the pair for a moment and quietly says, "Thank you," before stepping back inside the IT.

y’all need a break

[eloarei]

So I was tagged by @nomadsky the other day; thanks, Sekiei! There's little I love more than talking about my favorite characters. (By the way, Sekiei, some of your answers were like A+ so perfect, and a few of them were characters I would pick, so I might just note those characters and then pick someone else, for variety's sake.) (Also, the rules don't say how many to pick?? But I'm assuming they meant 10. I'll aim for that.) EDIT: THE RULES: post your favorite characters and what you like about them/ why.  In no particular order: Hanna Falk Cross (Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name (aka HINABN))

--- Not a sixteen year old girl. Hanna is a 24 year old guy, tiny, red-headed and adorkable, who apparently learned magic from a hobo and is allergic to ghosts. He's uniquely talented at fucking things up, has abandonment issues, and secrets I'll never know but will always haunt me. Despite the perma-hiatus status of the series, I still love him, even seven years later, so much so that I was willing to devote 2 years to writing a longfic about him. Honestly, I feel like I know him better than my own characters now. And, sure, it's probably my own semi-IC version of him, but that's probably not a surprise considering HINABN topped out at 100 pages, some of which didn't feature Hanna at all. Of course, you probably have already heard me say this five million times, but I wrote a story I'm pretty fond of, featuring this loser: Rogue.  Garrus Vakarian AND Runner-up: Mordin Solus (Mass Effect)

--- Sekiei already said Garrus, so I'll be brief and move on. Garrus is the most charming bug-dragon alien around. He's perfect, honestly. Would that men like him actually existed in real life, even in human form. --- I mean, I love Mordin. I actually would have romanced him if it was possible (not instead of Garrus; I'd have done a separate playthrough). I still think of him anytime someone says “seashells”. Mordin is a funny, interesting character that I think is often overlooked, partly because he only features in half of the series, I imagine. I've never read a Mordin fic, although I'd like to. I've read a few Shakarian fics that were pretty good, but I don't remember any of them off the top of my head. Killua Zoldyck (Hunter x Hunter)

--- It was hard to choose between him and Gon, because I think of them largely as a team, but Killua is my favorite because of all the growth he goes through over the course of the series. He's a silly, irreverent, dangerous, smart-ass kid, but he has so much damage that's brought to the table by his friendship with Gon, and he becomes such a good heartfelt person by the end. Also he's totally a conduit for the absolute FEELS I get from the series. Whenever he screams or cries, I feel it in my soul. I've still not read any Killua fics that I think are truly top-notch, which is kind of surprising. Varric Tethras AND Runner-up Merrill (Dragon Age) 

--- Again, Sekiei already chose Varric, and mirrored my thoughts about him: he's fantastic and why the HELL couldn't we romance him?! He was absolutely my first choice, and I was honestly upset when I found he wasn't romanceable! --- This was kind of a hard choice, because I like a lot of the DA characters almost equally, but I find Merril to be especially precious. Weirdly, I never got around to romancing her, but she's one of those characters that I think is really adorable and I just want to pet her hair and give her tasty snacks and warm blankets. (Also I low-key ship her with Varric; don't ask me how that works. Or do.) Nick Valentine (Fallout 4)

--- Hoo boy let me tell you about Valentine. Gawd, he's such a damn beautiful android. And I don't really mean that in a physical way (because yeah he's cool looking; got a good aesthetic for sure, but I wouldn't say he's at all pretty). Valentine is 100% the kind of guy I want on my side, to have my back. He's somewhat similar to Garrus in that rogue lawman kind of way. (Speaking of “Rogue”, he reminds me of my portrayal of “the detective” (purely a coincidence, because I was 90% done writing Rogue before I played FO4), which clearly proves that I have a type.) His tragic backstory and circumstances mirror The Lone Survivor's almost perfectly, and they are really so wonderful together, which is why it KILLS ME that he was not romanceable. I think I'm still in denial, tbh. He's funny, sarcastic, yet still very sincere, and though he acts very confident and is well-liked even by people who don't like synths, he has this deep loneliness in him that really rips up my heart in all the best ways. (By the way, writing this spurred me to replay Fallout4, which spurred me to start a Valentine-centric fic I was fiddling with the plot of last year, so if I actually do finish that fic-- Sekiei, I'll have you to thank!) I read a great Nick/Nora fic last year, although I can only recommend the first like... 30-or-so chapters? because the last few sort of deviate from the quality of the beginning (imo), and the fic never got finished. Still worth a read. Jesse McCree AND Hanzo Shimada (Overwatch) 

--- Honestly, as someone who has scarcely played Overwatch, it feels a bit disingenuous to put one of their characters on my fave character list, but that's part of the charm of the series: you don't really have to play the game to get most of the details it takes to get involved in the fandom. And given how explosively popular it was this past year-end, I got pretty involved. If you follow my fandom blog, you might have noticed that it was 90% McHanzo for a few months. That's because there's something really charming about those two characters! (Or, at very least, the way fandom portrays them.) McCree is such a goddamn stereotype hahaha but I love him. A grown-ass man who dresses like a cowboy because WHY NOT, he seems to have a pretty easy-going temperament that makes me feel at home. Not to mention, you think of McCree and you can't help but think of the endless desert and vast blue sky. He's a big goof-ball but also dangerous with a bit of a dark past. You know I love the type. I'm writing a McCree-centric AU, but who knows if I'll finish it. There are already quite a lot of other great McCree fics out there. --- I tried not to pick two characters from the same series, but I love McCree and Hanzo equally and in different ways, so I couldn't not. Again, there's not a whole heck of a lot of canon for these characters (I mean, there's a bit, but not as much as if they were, say, the main characters of their own piece of media, and not left largely up to the interpretation of fans), but they seem to have pretty defined personalities. Hanzo is a fairly serious guy, with a fairly serious past, and I like that in a character, that sort of stoic sincerity. But he's also got a mischievous/silly streak, I think, if only evidenced in canon by the fact that he (much like Jesse) tends to dress in an outfit several centuries out of date. But he looks damn good in it! Honest to god, he's frickin' gorgeous. XD Like, what a beautiful damn character. And I love a character that can probably kill with a glance. Whew. Erhem. Aside from that, though, he also gives off a nice peaceful vibe-- meditating up high somewhere quiet with tree leaves blowing in the breeze. Great character aesthetic. Anyone who's in the Overwatch fandom has probably already heard of “Hang the Fool”, but it's far and away the best McHanzo fic available, and I highly recommend it! Fawkes (Fallout 3)

--- Often I know about characters before I encounter them in whatever media they're from. That's partly why I choose to get into games/shows/etc. I was caught off guard by Fawkes, a big scary green “super mutant” from Fallout 3, who you encounter near the end of the story. Up to that point, all the super mutants you meet are just big dumb brutes who are trying to kill you, and have a good chance of succeeding, because they are, as I mentioned, rather large and scary. But Fawkes was locked up by his kind precisely because he was different. He's intelligent, compassionate, and loyal-- truly one of the nicest and most 'good' people you ever stumble upon in the Capital Wasteland. Also he kicks ass, because he is fucking huge and carries a gattling gun like it's no big deal. If I play FO3 again, I'm rushing right to that part so I can pick him up as soon as possible. Also, I'm one of like maybe a handful of people who ship him with the Lone Wanderer, which prooobably makes it my rarest rare-pair. Luckily, my friend Choco wrote a kick-ass long-fic about them, which made my whole month when I read it last year.   Noctis Lucis Caelum (Final Fantasy XV)

--- It was really hard to choose one out of the four main guys from this series, but I eventually decided on the main character Noctis, because I really think he's a great main character. Final Fantasy main characters are known for being kind of whiny and emo, and Noctis doesn't exactly deviate from this plan, but he adheres to it in such a way that makes sense to me. I find him to be very realistic! He's 20. He's tired and just wants to sleep. He likes to play video games. He rolls his eyes at his dad's affection but obviously loves him. He goofs off with his friends but can get stuff done when the time comes. He's a cat person, but he likes dogs too. Oh and he loves food, but he's a picky eater. And unlike other FF main characters, his style is very casual. I have actually seen people who dress like him. ...I actually AM a people who dresses like him. He's a good character who didn't deserve any of the shit that was thrown his way-- but at least he had good friends. I've read a few good Noctis-related fics so far, but nothing very long that left much impression yet. Hoping I'll find one at some point. If not, maybe one of my own will end up fitting the bill.

Jinbe (One Piece)

--- Wrapping this up with another somewhat-obscure character, Jinbe from One Piece. (Or, if you like, because romanization is weird: Jinbei, Jimbe, Jimbei, etc) First, I love One Piece. It's a great, super-long anime with so many good characters! But Jinbe, oh. He's a big, blue, intimidating fish-man who often looks angry and has mannerisms/speech patterns that are reminiscent of I think both samurai and old mob-bosses. But he's an intensely sincere guy, who's fiercely protective of those who are important to him, and the promises he makes. Everything he does for Luffy makes me cry. XD When nobody else will risk giving Luffy a blood transfusion because of stupid old racist laws, he publicly declares his willingness. When Luffy's knocked out at Marineford and Akainu is coming after him, the way Jinbe holds Luffy and gives Akainu the most visceral snarl I've ever heard. I love it. I really like scary looking guys who are sweet. ALSO, I haven't seen any good Jinbe fics, so if anybody has one I'd love to see it. =3

Tagging: uh, I dunno. @braincoins, @tempuslunam, @chocochipbiscuit, @tequilatrashbin, @buddhistmamaduck, @milarca, and @ whoever else wants to do it. 

[voresmithing]

Truce: Chapter 15.2

Surprising neither of them, Genji gets his way.

Any protests over his brother returning with a pair of clippers are silenced when Genji mercilessly points out he doesn't even have a scalp anymore.

On the way to the meeting Hanzo reflexively scrubs his palm where his hair has been buzzed down to little more than a centimeter on the sides and back, scowling as his hand comes away with a dusting of tiny hairs gathering under the fingernails. He brushes his shoulders and neck off again, feeling uncomfortable and itchy in his skin, and regrets letting Genji do anything when he had an interview scheduled.

The cut itself is fine, he supposes. He will get used to it.

The sensation of a silicone hand dragging across the fine grain of the recent buzz had been unexpectedly pleasant.

So had Genji's crooning pleasure in getting his way and finding the results of his experiment satisfying.

While Genji rubbed his head, then combed fingers through what was left of hair before tying it off, Hanzo tried to internalize the new sounds of his brother's happiness. To associate this cyborg, whose voice was too deep and hollow, but touch too familiar, with the irrepressible young man who would've done no different ten years ago.

-----

Hanzo is permitted access to a new door today, on the other side of which he finds the cowboy, different only because Hanzo realizes abruptly he's never seen the man do something so mundane as sit at a table with a tablet display projected in front of him. It highlights his silly hat and out of time aesthetics, pulling them into sharp contrast when Hanzo had all but gotten used to it.

He makes a point to not fuss with his new cut any further, and moves into the room as the door shuts behind him.

"I suppose I will finally learn if you do any actual work around here."

"I tell ya, Shimada-san, I'm really looking forward to--" Hanzo watches McCree's focus shifts from the display to Hanzo, savors the slow dawning as he takes in the changes, eyes sliding first over the suit, then growing wider as he gets to the hair.

It's been years since Hanzo has had anything less than complete confidence in his appearance, but he can't deny that there is something flattering in the cowboy's appreciation being so dependable.

"Well, uh, hell. You're really showing me up here," an uncertain smile leaks out as McCree rubs his thumb against the line of his jaw. "Didn't know we were gonna get fancy."

"Hardly," Hanzo disdains, taking in the small, windowless meeting room, the two nondescript office chairs, and the open displays that McCree brushes to the side with an absent gesture. "We call this being professional, McCree-kun. I understand that imprisoning me against my will and interrupting my shower--" McCree's neck straightens in a way Hanzo finds most satisfying "--may have indulged some misunderstandings on your part, but I am a businessman. And you have expressed an interest in hiring me, so of course I dressed for the occasion."

McCree leans back in his chair, countering Hanzo's propriety with overacted relaxation, and a high exhale whistles through his grin. "Sure, you got me there. But you got yourself more than just a change of clothes. Or do you always get a whole new look for every job?"

"The hair was Genji's idea, he's always--" Hanzo falters, on the memory of what his brother would always do, and the foreign impulse to share a fond bit of nostalgia with a new stranger. "Always had ideas on how I should present myself." He forces the sentence to complete, leaving it truncated and awkward.

But if McCree thinks the same, he doesn't show it. His eyes are still wandering over Hanzo's face with a helpless interest. "Well, tell him he did a fine job. Real, uh--"

Hanzo waits, forcing him to finish.

"--Real professional."

Hanzo smiles and situates himself in his own seat, leaving the room in silence until McCree finds his way back to the matter-at-hand.

"Anyway, you know, to be honest, I appreciate seeing you take this so seriously, Shimada-san." McCree admits while scratching the side of his neck. "The aussies didn't even get why they had paperwork to sign."

"That isn't a surprise. At the street level, they rarely expect more than a promise and an envelope of cash. Has Mr. Fawkes ever even had a job?"

"Not unless you count building bombs out of trash and selling them to anyone else scraping together a life down there employment, nah." Though initially surprised at the question, McCree puzzles his way through it with a considered drawl that reminds Hanzo of the man telling his stories. "Roadhog must've done something before that place tripped into the third circle of hell but I ain't ever asked about it."

Hanzo tucks that question away with a quiet hum, "Are there any others? Or am I only the third of your peculiar little recruitment plan?"

"Third and the last, at least for a while. Don't get the wrong idea, this is all pretty usual. Mostly Blackwatch hires from Overwatch, yanno, if they check off the right boxes."

"Oh..?" Hanzo makes no attempt to hide his interest.

"It can't be that much've a surprise," despite Hanzo's example, McCree still converses with the same easy comfort he'd displayed when they'd gone drinking together. "Nothing as powerful as Overwatch can do all it's gotta do in the open, but a lot of people don't wanna think about what goes on under the table even if they're smart enough to figure out it's happening."

"So you look for the ones who don't mind having their illusions shattered?"

"Nah, we look for the ones who never had any to start." A wry but wolfish grin slides across McCree's face. "It ain't too tough, either. All the kids that didn't lose everything in the Crisis are old enough now to be pissing themselves over how Overwatch ain't all about poster boys and heroics, but there's still plenty of folk out there like me, Shimada-san."

Hanzo lifts his eyebrows, surprised at McCree's sudden openness, but perhaps it was not so sudden after all of the stories he had told while inebriated. "So you look for children raised in the gangs that sprung up in post Crisis chaos?"

"Not kids, no." McCree grimaces, striking empty air with his heavy hand. "But the kids that got out, went on to make something of themselves, wanted to be a part of the team of heroes that 'Saved the World'? Yeah, most of those guys don't have any trouble understanding that Overwatch has got more work to do than what can show up in headlines."

"Hmmm," Hanzo lets his gaze drift, thinking that it sounded like a group he really has nothing in common with. "In that case, I have to wonder why you think I will fit in here at all."

There is a soft scraping sound, and Hanzo brings his focus back on McCree to find the cowboy rubbing a thumb over his recently trimmed beard. "You're already fitting in, Shimada-san."

Hanzo feels his forehead scrunch in confusion.

"Hell, I'm probably just as surprised as you. Gonna be honest, didn't think I was gonna like Genji's brother any. Figured this would wrap up with you and him yelling for a bit and then me locking you in a hole somewhere so he could move on."

"So your offer was always a ploy?" Hanzo isn't sure why that irritates him, given that he'd assumed as much from the beginning.

But McCree shakes his head, sits up and puts his elbows on the table so that Hanzo can feel his weight thrum through it to where he sits. "Nah, it was a real offer, just never woulda bet you'd earn it."

Hanzo feels his mouth open but no sound emerges, unspoken protest snagged in his throat. He swallows twice before he frees it. "I have done nothing here but sit in a cell, something I had little say in."

"Aw, that ain't true and I think you know it. This all coulda gone way worse. Was expecting it to if you were the kind of guy that'd think it's alright to off your own brother."

"Your standards are simply whether or not I felt guilt?" He shouldn't argue, this is what he wants. But the cowboy's unexpected sincerity sets him on edge.

"Well, no--" The cowboy starts, stops, then turns back like he just caught himself halfway through a wrong turn. "Actually, yeah. I guess you can put it like that. You talk real big about family, Shimada, but if you'd actually decided you didn't owe Genji anything, then I'd know you were full of shit."

Hanzo is staring, he realizes, eyes too wide and telling, locked on McCree's soft brown face. He can tell the man is trying to pay him a compliment, offer assurance he has passed some test of character. And it speaks to the cowboy's short-sighted priorities that he doesn't realize that by even playing along with this charade he is betraying his family all over again.

No matter what I choose I am full of shit. But by abandoning the rest of his family for his brother, at least he carries a stink the cowboy long since become immune.

But that isn't a conversation he wants to have with this man, who, as charming as he may be, does not truly understand.

Hanzo lets his gaze flicker, to dimple in the table's gleaming surface, to distorted edge of one of McCree's open displays. "I suppose whether or not you are right to think this will work will be revealed before long." It isn't hard to drag his mind back to the purpose of their meeting, he is more than familiar with negotiating while under the influence, whether it be of alcohol or merely his own unease. "If your offer meets my expectations, that is."

"Er, how do you mean?"

"You're looking to hire my services, aren't you? Then we have a contract to negotiate."

"Hah," the cowboy's amusement reads as uncertain and forced, like he hopes to uncover a joke if feigns having seen one. "I mean, obviously we aren't going to ask you to work for nothing, but I hope you don't think Blackwatch is where anyone goes to get rich."

Hanzo clicks his tongue, "I hope you don't think my help comes cheaply, Mr. McCree."

"Aw, now I'm a mister." McCree looks to the ceiling in a call for patience that Hanzo is getting quite familiar with. "Alright, Mister Shimada, how much are you looking for?"

------------------------

A gentle, tinny chuckle echos in the cramped space. It should be dark but a green light half illuminates the matte walls, stacks of old service bots, wheels of nylon rope, and shelves of cleaning product.

"So, basically you gave him everything he wants?"

"Honey, I can't afford to give him everything he wants."

This isn't one of their more comfortable or scenic spots, but Genji had apparently been feeling sly when he ran into Jesse in the hall, and Jesse had dragged him into the nearest door that would lead to privacy.

Neither of them complained about being too old to get handsy in a closet.

It's too humid in here now, with Genji's exhaust jets having gone off not long ago, and heat still looking for an escape from Jesse's sweaty skin. Genji's at least done him the favor of removing most of his clothes, and Jesse slowly roams his palms across CNT plates that are cooling faster than he can.

Genji sways in compliance with his touch, the strip of his visor is so bright that if Jesse looks away he's followed by its after image. "Hanzo's too proud to go cheap. How much did he ask for?"

"More'n three times what I make now."

Another laugh. Genji tilts his head back for it though his chest doesn't bounce from breathes he can't shuffle out.

Jesse grins, "You know what he said when I told him that?"

"Oh, definitely that it's your own fault if you aren't making more."

Jesse snaps his fingers, "Hell, you do know him. Says he doesn't got to undersell himself just because I do."

Genji stretches, fluid in a way a human skeleton won't allow as he drapes across Jesse's awkwardly folded legs. "Hanzo is usually right about money, you should tell Reyes to give you a raise."

"Just like that, huh? Nah, I think I'm using up just about all of the favors I've saved up with him on this little project." Genji begins to speak and Jesse clicks his knuckles against the flesh-warm plates on his back. "Anyway, I've been doing just fine. Not gonna get greedy and start worrying about it now."

"Mmm. Guess I've never asked for more either. " He doesn't mention a concern that Jesse's heard brought up only once before; that his Overwatch funded cybernetic body costs more than most people would ever see in a lifetime. "So, what did he say?"

"He's agreeing to a smaller fee on a short contract and wants to talk to my boss."

"..Hah." It isn't a real this time, just a soft bark, colored with less amusement than uncertainty.

Jesse catches the cyborg's chin with one hand. Finds the weight and fit of it quite pleasant as he tilts the bright slash of green toward him. "Something the matter? I thought it was pretty cute of him."

"Cute, huh?"

"Aw, you know what I meant."

"I think you meant cute." Genji's visor tilts, and his voice comes back mischievous as he smacks two excited fingers against Jesse's shoulder. "The hair! I forgot to ask what you think of it."

Jesse knows a diversion when hears it, but damn if it isn't a good one. Since overhearing a bit of drunken flirtatiousness the cyborg had expressed nothing but encouragement and completely unsubtle digs for gossip about whether or not Hanzo was picking up on whatever Jesse was unwittingly putting out. Jesse wasn't half sure of what to make of it, but he was happy enough to not be justifiably in the dog house over making eyes at his lover's brother.

"Would've been pretty frickin' hard to miss, honey. I can't believe he let you get away with that."

"I think he'd let me get away with just about anything right now." Genji admits with a cheeky pitch to his voice. "I'd been trying to fix his hair for years."

Nimble fingers begin to comb through Jesse's hair; a delicate touch that runs from temple to spine. He relaxes back into it with a sigh. "Alright, he looked damn good, I'll give you that."

"Right?"

Jesse grins, letting his eyes sink closed against the fluorescent glow as Genji's attention encourages staying sprawled on the uncomfortable floor indefinitely. Or at least another ten minutes. "Sounds like you finally got what you want."

There is a pause, beats counted by Jesse's even breathes, and then he feels the pad of Genji's fingers curve along the bridge of his nose, over his cheekbone, across his lip.

And then between his teeth, so that by the time Jesse thinks to inquire further, his mouth is already occupied.

Full fic on AO3