#I always enjoy when Five and Diego throw hands at other people and each other! Sometimes you just have to fight it out of your body.

[outofmemory]

I know Diego did not gave her the bracelet, that she took it after he left it on the table. I literally wrote that a mother should not stay in a marriage just because it's "normal" to give everything up after you became a mother, that is not okay. No person is a mother and wife first and your own person second, if even, is not a life anybody should live. I want Lila to be happy, no person should ever be unhappy in a relationship. Never! My headcanon is that Lila would have struggled to decide what to do next in her marriage and with her relationship with Five if the Cleanse had not erased them. For me Lila and Five are the endgame. They are actually ment to be their one. @elenajones23 I am sorry that I reacted that strong, I am terrible with understanding tones in text withouth emotes/smileys. Thank you for responding this fast to my feedback! 💜

#FIVE’S SMUG (requested by anonymous)

[sissytobitch10seconds]

We Only See Each Other At Funerals (And Miss Each Other's Weddings)

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Summary: It's been a long time since they've all been together like this, and a lot has changed since they were eighteen. Warnings: Mentions of canon child abuse/neglect, pregnant male trans character Word Count: 8,034 Ship(s): Five Hargreeves/Viktor Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves

Archive link!

A/N: So I wrote something really self indulgent and I'm very happy with it! These are all ships that I really love and I got to write them all in the same spot. I know that pretty much no one else is going to read this, but if you're one of the few people that is: Hello! I hope you enjoy this. Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

The first to arrive were Klaus and Ben, which was to be expected since Ben had always been a massive stickler about being on time. If it were up to Ben and he was operating independently, then they would have arrived a little bit early. Ben was the one that shepherded them out of the house on time when they were children and they had to attend far too many galas and charity events. The only time that he ever dragged his feet was when they were going on missions because of what it always meant for him. Klaus, on the other hand, made them perpetually late to just about everything that they did. When they were kids, he was the last one to slink down into the car that Reginald made them to go their events in and he would always sit in the back to avoid Grace noticing that he was late (not that it ever worked).

They walked through the door, bright and laughing about a joke Klaus had made moments earlier. The psychic spread his arms out around him as he turned in a half circle, throwing his head back to stare up at the dark wood of the ceiling, “Can you smell that, Ben?”

“What, childhood trauma and the body spray can that you set fire to when we were sixteen?” the other asked, catching the other man’s sleeve to tug him closer. He placed both of his hands on either side of Klaus’ hips to keep him still for once in his life.

Klaus threw his head back and laughed as he looped his arms around his husband’s neck so that they were swaying back and forth. Doing so in the home that they had first learned to dance in brought back a lot of memories, blushing cheeks and Klaus’ first drunken buzz. “No, my dear husband,” he leaned forward and gave him a swift kiss. “The scent of the house’s spirit returning to her now that the old man isn’t holding her hostage anymore.”

The other stood there for a second, blinking at his husband as he tried to process what had just been said. “God, you’re so weird,” Ben snorted. He released Klaus’ belt loops and then snagged his scarf off of him to hang up on the hooks that they had used when they were children. Over a decade ago they all would have had thick winter coats on the upper hook and Umbrella Academy branded windbreakers on the bottom for when they had to be seen in public. Some days when the wind was bad, they were also provided with thick scarves to keep themselves warm so they didn’t shiver in front of the press.

Now they were empty of the plain black, blue, and maroon garments. The hooks under the metal number four on the wall held Klaus’ coat, a gaudy hot pink item that had once held many feathers around the neck and waist before their cat decided she just couldn’t have that and removed them all, and his scarf that was striped in the pansexual and genderqueer colors. The hooks underneath the number six held Ben’s, which was a thick black wool coat that had embroidery of flowers around the wrists and a hood hanging off the back.

“Let’s go find Mom, shall we?” Klaus asked as he turned towards the now empty halls of their childhood home. The house had always seemed drafty and hollow when they were living here, but it was somehow more so now that none of their siblings were occupying it. Both men were nervous to see what had happened to the aforementioned people they had grown up with, and what their interactions with them would be.

“I think I want to stay here and kiss my husband for a little while longer,” Ben replied as he tried to stall. This building brought back some of his worst memories, reminding him of the training that both he and his husband had been forced to go through even while begging their father to give them a break of any kind. It also reminded him of the nights that he spent clutching Klaus’ hand as he heaved up all the substances he had ingested to try and drive away his powers.

Klaus knew what his husband was doing, he had been prepared for it immediately upon receiving the invitation back to the Academy after learning of their father’s death. He was prepared for it and determined not to let Ben spend the entire time they were with their family mulling over bad memories. “We have plenty of time for that at home,” he said, though he did plant another kiss on Ben’s lips.

“Not nearly as much as we used to,” the taller of the two pouted.

“Well, that’s what happens when you have two teenagers camped out in your living room,” Klaus laughed, his husband cracking a smile as well. 

They both loved their two foster children more than they thought that they were capable of, but it was still a rather hard adjustment. Since they hadn’t gone from the baby phase to eventually having teenagers and just jumped right in to fostering a thirteen-year-old and a fifteen-year-old it was a very steep learning curve. 

Ben threaded their fingers together as they carefully began to walk down one of the dark, foreboding hallways to find the two beings that had really served as their parents when they were younger. It was a small comfort that they wouldn’t be able to keep up after they found any other member of their family since they didn’t want them to know just yet. They didn’t know how their family would react to them being together, not when they all had so much trauma and were all so unknown.

“Oh, my boys!” Grace beamed when she saw the duo from where she was dusting off the mantle in the living room.

Ben immediately dropped Klaus’ hand, but it wasn’t that big of a deal because the other surged forward so that he could wrap his mother up in a hug. “It’s great to see you again, Mom. How have you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been so excited for you all to come home. You’ve been gone for so long, the house was so quiet without you,” Grace tutted. She pulled back from the hug and then pulled his face this way and that so that she could check him over for any injuries or malnourishments. “You look so healthy and happy, what’s happened while you’ve been gone?”

“Well, I had someone help me with my powers a lot more than Dad ever did,” Klaus chuckled under his breath.

Grace either didn’t hear them, which was unlikely since she had picked up on everything that they had whispered to each other when they were in class as children, or she chose not to acknowledge that comment. She turned to Ben and then wrapped him up in a hug as well, though it didn’t last nearly as long as the one with Klaus did since she knew that he wasn’t a fan of physical affection.

She pulled back from them and looked over both of her children. Her robotic eyes were almost shining with the love and adoration that she held for them both. It had been so long since any of her children had been around for her to take care of and she had missed them all dearly. “Are either of you hungry? Lunch isn’t for another half hour but I have some snacks prepared in the kitchen.”

“We’re good, Mom, we had kind of a late breakfast,” Klaus said. He didn’t want to tell her the reason quite yet just in case any of their siblings came in while they were talking, and he didn’t want her to spill the secret before they knew that it was explicitly safe to do so.

The trio walked further into the living room and sat down across from their mother. She beamed at them as she folded her hands politely in her lap. “Tell me what’s been going on with you, boys. I’ve missed you very much, you know.”

Ben glanced at his husband for a moment and then turned back to Grace, “We know, Mom. I’m sorry that we didn’t come back to visit more but we got pretty busy after we left.”

“You should be happy to know that I’ve been clean for a decade,” Klaus grinned. He pulled a chain from underneath his black crop top (something that he was wearing over a white tank top at Ben’s request since it was far too cold to be that unclothed). The chain was simple, just silver balls strung together but it held the ten year chip that Klaus had gotten from his sponsor a few years ago.

“That’s wonderful! I knew that you could do it, dear. You’ve always been so capable. You can do anything that you set your mind to,” Grace praised. 

Klaus almost glowed under it, his face splitting into a wide beam. It was something that they had both forgotten since they had been away from their mother for so long. They both still craved the validation of a parental figure after the shit childhood they had endured, even if therapy was helping them get away from that slowly.

They continued to talk with their mother, discussing everything that they felt like they could about their lives. It was nice to be back in their childhood home, where some of their best and worst memories rested, without the worry of their father constantly breathing down their necks.

---

Five and Viktor were the next two to show up. They had tried to get out of the house on time, something that they were both usually very good at because of their career and hobby choices, but it had been getting harder and harder as of late. 

“This place is just as creepy as it was before,” Five muttered as he removed his coat. It was a brown woolen overcoat that fit snugly over his suit jackets, which was a necessity seeing as he wore them constantly. Today he was dressed in a casual blue turtleneck with a pair of his favorite black dress pants after Viktor had insisted he go for something more casual. 

“I think that it has its charms about it. I spent a lot more time here than you did, remember?” Viktor asked, teasing his husband slightly. 

“Mm, I suppose that you did,” Five sighed. He placed his hand on the side of his husband’s face and then leaned down to kiss him sweetly. It was as natural as breathing for both of them, to exchange small intimacies like kissing and brushing their hands against each other. It was going to be hard to turn that off while they were here, to avoid their siblings finding out.

While it was no secret that Viktor and Five had been very close when they were younger, they had always tried to present themselves as platonic soulmates or best friends, despite Allison and Luther also leaning towards each other. It was unknown how the rest of the Academy, as well as Grace and Pogo, would react to what their lives and relationship had turned into after all the time they had all spent in the real world. 

Five let out a breath to calm himself down. Being back in their childhood home reminded him of the feral protectiveness that he had over his husband when they were younger, something that he had to constantly war with back then. He couldn’t let the others know what they had been doing so a lot of his teenager-hood had been spent telling himself that he had to let Viktor endure the borderline-harassment passed off as teasing just until they were old enough to leave the Academy.

“Let me help you with your coat, beloved,” Five said softly after he hung up his own.

Viktor rolled his eyes but let the other do as he had asked. He knew what Five was going through right now, and their additional secret only increased the feelings that he was having. “Hey, it’s gonna be fine,” Viktor said, reaching up to cup either side of Five’s face. He traced his calloused thumb over his husband’s cheekbone and then pecked him on the lips.

“Let’s get this over with,” Five sighed as he took his lover’s hand just to give it a brief squeeze before they walked down the hallway towards the direction where they heard voices.

The conversation naturally petered out as they all turned around to see who the new arrivals were. Klaus cheered as he turned to Ben and said, “I told you that Five would be the next one to show up. Luther and Diego are going to be so late.”

“I thought that Luther would be first because of how much he kissed Dad’s ass when we were here,” Ben groused in explanation. He gave a nod to Five, who immediately returned it. The last time that the two of them had seen each other outside of confirmation of life calls and the occasional letter was when they were both in college. Ben had gone on to become a high school English teacher and Five a math professor, but for a while they had basically the same schedule and had gotten very close to each other. Not close enough that they had disclosed the most intimate details of their life, but they were all inclined to hide those details from each other when they didn’t know how it would be received or what would possibly be passed on to their father.

Grace got up from the couch that she was on and walked over to both of them. “Oh, my dears,” she beamed as she grasped Five’s hand and ran her hand over the side of Viktor’s face. “You’ve changed so much since I’ve last seen you. I have a feeling that there’s been a name change as well.

“I’m still Five,” the taller of the two said as he gave his mother a quick kiss on the cheek. He loved the woman that had raised him very dearly, he tried to model his own parenting style off of her as much as he could.

“I prefer to go by Viktor now,” the smaller admitted, leaning happily into the touch of his mother. He had been the second closest to her since he had spent the most time loitering about the house while they were training or on missions.

Klaus let out a cheer and reached out over the couch to ask his brother for a high-five while saying, “Trans sibs gotta stick together!”

Viktor laughed and complied with the request before he sat down on the couch across from them beside his husband. Five inched slightly closer to him, obviously uncomfortable about having to be so far away from his husband when they were in a place that had so many tough feelings for them. He was placated when the other dropped his hand down into the darkness between their legs and laced his fingers together with Five’s so that they were holding hands without a way for their siblings to see.

“I’ve already asked Ben and Klaus, but I should ask you as well. Do you want me to bring up some of the snacks I prepared or would you prefer to wait for lunch?” she asked politely.

“I think that we’re good, Mom,” Viktor smiled.

Five glanced down at his husband for a moment before he turned back to their mother, “Snacks would be great. That way you don’t have to set them out later anyway.”

The smaller of the two elbowed his husband so that they were staring at each other for a moment, obviously having a silent conversation, but it was then dropped. Grace bustled out of the room so that she could get the snacks that she had prepared for them and almost as soon as she had, Pogo walked. “Look what fine adults you’ve all grown into,” he beamed proudly at them.

“Hey, Pogo,” Five smiled at him, all arguments with his husband now immediately forgotten. Pogo had been more of a father to them than Reginald had the entire time that they were growing up, but they had all been unable to visit him in fear of running into their adoptive father. 

The ape crossed the space between the doorway and the sitting area of the living room so that he could get a better look at each of his children. “It’s been so long since all of you were in the same space. I’m glad that you could attend this, even if I wish that it had been under different circumstances.”

“I just wish that we had done it sooner. Forgot how much I missed hanging out with my family,” Viktor smiled warmly at his brothers across the way. 

Just as Ben and Klaus had when Grace was upstairs, the conversion shifted to what they had all been doing in their time away from each other. It was pretty evident that there were holes in their lives, things that they weren’t telling the others about, but none of them were as close as they were when they were kids so it didn’t feel right to pry.

---

Surprisingly, Diego and Luther were the next to show up. The only reason that they had been so late was because waiting for a sitter had put them back almost a half hour. They had been in such a rush to get out of their apartment and to their childhood home afterwards that they had only showed up about forty minutes later. 

Diego opened the door to their home and then swore as soon as he caught sight of all the coats on the hooks. “Shit, man, everyone else is here before us.”

“That’s not true,” Luther replied as he pushed his husband the rest of the way into the foyer so that he could close the large stained glass door behind him. He shucked off his large winter parka and hung it up on his hook, right under the metallic number one on the wall. Diego let out a discontented noise in the back of his throat as he placed his slimmer coat on the hook next to Luther’s. They looked like a pair, he noticed after seeing them placed where all the identical jackets used to be placed when they were still active members of the Academy.

Some of the tension in his shoulders that had formed when they were trying to get out of the house (it was always a chore with how anxious Diego got when he was away from the kids outside of the usual work times) relaxed. 

Luther noticed, placing one of his large hands on his husband’s back. He then moved both of them so that he was wrapping Diego up in a hug with his lips plastered to the other man’s neck. “Stop that, the others are just down the hall, they’re going to be able to see us,” Diego groused though he did nothing to push the other man away.

“Do you think that Mom and Pogo would notice if we stole the numbers before we left tonight?” Luther asked as a shit-eating grin grew over his face. Once he had finally been able to get away from their father and learn that there was more to life than missions and praise, he found that he had a rather mischievous side to him. He had missed out on all the jokes and pranks when they were younger so he was making up for them now.

“I think that’s an absolutely brilliant idea that we can totally pull off,” Diego grinned back in return. “We’re probably gonna have to leave the earliest anyway.”

Luther sighed as he felt some of the tension work its way back into Diego’s muscles. It hurt to see how nervous and protective his partner was even though nothing bad had ever happened to their children and nothing could now that their father was dead and wouldn’t figure it out.

“Are you ready to go and see our siblings? We’ll just have to wait for Allison to show up and then we can have the wake and leave,” Luther reassured him to try and release some of the stress.

Diego only nodded and wiggled out of his hold so that they could walk down the hall to the sitting room where their family was still gathered. Klaus beamed when he saw his brother and bounced up from the couch to wrap Diego up in a hug, as they had been the closest outside of the pairs that had already arrived. “Hey Klaus, how are you?”

“Wonderful now that Daddy dearest isn’t going to be trying to cramp my style whenever he finds me,” Klaus grinned wickedly. He glanced over Diego’s shoulder to where Luther was hovering in the doorway and then said, “Sorry, Lulu.”

“Why are you apologizing to me? I escaped Dad two years after the rest of you did,” he shrugged. It wasn’t exactly true, but there was enough truth in it that he felt like he could say it without it being a lie. He had started to distance himself from his father when he was attending the few classes that the college wouldn’t allow him to take through Grace or online and then he had officially broken away after graduation so that he could travel with Diego after the two of them reconnected.

“Nice,” Ben smirked from the couch. He turned around and then grabbed a handful of Klaus’ shirt to tug him back down into a sitting position so that he wasn’t smothering their siblings anymore. 

Grace rose from her spot on the couch and rushed over to Diego. She checked him over as she always did when they returned back from missions and then kissed the top of his head. “You look wonderful, Diego. So happy,” she beamed as she led him further into the living room.

Both of the couches were already taken up with the other two couples, so Diego and Luther were forced to split up so that they were sitting in the chairs closest to the fire. It wasn’t that bad since they didn’t insist on touching each other every second that they were near one another like Viktor and Five did, but it still sucked because it meant that they couldn’t do anything subtly couple-y without being caught.

Grace asked them all the same questions that she had asked the other four of her children now gathered in her living room. If they had eaten enough, how often they were sleeping and for how long, if they had been injured recently, if this old wound was bothering them or if that condition had eased up any since they had last seen her. They gave her the answers that any kid gave their very worried mother, honest but still placating to an extent where they didn’t have to tell the full truth. It was nice to be back under her care, even if it was just for the day.

---

By the time that Allison arrived in the mansion, it was growing closer to one o’clock in the afternoon. She had meant to arrive earlier, but there had been delays in her flight across the country and then she had some difficulty flagging down a taxi.

She, unlike the others, was alone when she walked through he front door of her childhood home. She also had her fully packed suitcase trailing behind her, so she tucked it underneath her spot on the wall as she shed her coat and scarf. She smiled as she looked at everyone else’s, pausing for a moment so that she could admire the subtle trans flag that was patched onto Viktor’s winter coat amongst all of the national park and band patches.

“Hello?” Allison called through the seemingly empty halls of her childhood home as she tried to figure out where they had all gone. The living room was disturbed in the way that a room got after people had been spending time there for longer than a couple of minutes. Barely touched shelf-stable snacks were spread out on the table and the couches were ruffled and discombobulated based on the pillow distributions alone.

“Miss Allison,” Pogo’s warm voice said from further down the hall.

She jumped slightly and then laughed as she turned to face him. “It’s been a while, Pogo. How have you been?”

“Better now that you’re all back. The house got too quiet after you left,” he sighed wistfully. It surprised her how much he was both a father figure that had missed his children and a teacher that was reuniting with his students for the first time since they had graduated.

“I know that we all left around the same time, and I’m sorry for that,” she apologized. She knew that her departure from the Academy had been very abrupt, especially since she had moved the furthest away than any of the other siblings had.

“It’s alright. I know that you all needed to spread your wings and become your own persons. Now, your siblings are down in the dining room with your mother having lunch. Would you like to join them?” Pogo asked, gesturing with the end of his cane down the hall to where all of the others were.

“Of course. Are you not coming?” she asked as she took a step towards her siblings and then had to turn to look back at him.

The elderly ape shook his head. “I’m afraid I have a couple of things to tend to, but I will be spending some time with you all during dinner tonight. Your mother is very excited to have more than just me and your father to cook for again.”

“I can imagine,” Allison laughed. Her mother had been programmed to be the perfect housewife, cooking all of their meals and cleaning the house to perfection, on top of taking care of them. That meant that Grace found pleasure in cooking for them because it satisfied two different parts of her code.

She left her father figure behind in the hall as she walked down to the dining room. She paused when she got to the doorway, observing the way that they were all interacting with each other like they used to on the rare occasions that Reginald wasn’t there to enforce the no-talking rule during mealtimes. 

Upon Klaus’ wish they had all changed where they were sitting so that none of them were in their assigned seats from their childhood. Ben and Klaus were up at the front of the table, sitting across from each other. Grace was sitting at the head, though she had no food in front of her. Luther was sitting across from her with Diego to one side and Five to the other. Between Klaus and Five there was an empty chair, and Viktor was sitting between Diego and Ben.

Allison walked in and took the one remaining chair, serving herself some of the food as she got through the customary welcoming words from her sibling and leaned into the half hug that Klaus was willing to give her. “Welcome home, Allison, dear,” Grace preened as all of her children were finally in one place.

“I’m surprised that you were able to make it on such short notice. Isn’t your schedule usually packed with shoots?” Luther asked. Even though they had abandoned the childish crushes that they had on each other as soon as she fled to LA, they had still remaining in touch with each other as much as they could. She was one that had received all of the postcards from the places that Luther and Diego traveled to, after all.

Allison shifted uncomfortably and began to play with the corner of her sandwich. “I’ve actually been taking a break from acting for a while. Patrick and I are getting a divorce and it’s pretty messy. It’d only get worse if I was also trying to balance work around that.”

“A divorce? Oh, Allison, I’m so sorry,” Viktor said, his voice genuine and not holding even a hint of mocking in it. He didn't know what he’d do if Five suddenly decided that he didn’t want to be together with him anymore. It would literally break him apart to get a divorce from his husband, so he couldn’t imagine what his sister was going through at the moment.

“Patrick and I weren’t working, so it’s alright. Just stressful and full of a lot of hurt feelings,” she sighed as she leaned back in her chair. She wasn’t quite ready to admit that she had used her powers on her daughter to get her to be a better child, not when she had no idea what kind of people her siblings had changed into since they had all gone their separate ways.

---

Lunch was over fairly quickly after that and they were shepherded out of the room so that they could complete the task that they had all gathered to do. Pogo led them outside while clutching the urn that held their father’s remains inside of it. Grace walked behind them with a placid smile on her face, like she didn’t really care that Reginald was gone.

They all stopped and formed a weak semi-circle around Pogo when he turned to face them. None of them were quite sure how they should be feeling since they hadn’t exactly had a good relationship with their father, but he had still been the one to raise them. It was uncomfortable and they all just wanted to get back inside so that they could continue enjoying their time with each other like they had before the funeral.

“Would anyone like to say a few words?” Pogo asked as he glanced out at all of the superheroes that he had helped raise.

“I have some words to say but I don’t think that anyone is going to like them,” Viktor sniffed. He leaned into Five’s warmth as the other man reached his hand up and placed it on Viktor’s shoulder to bring them just a little bit closer together.

“I’ll say ‘em for you, bro,” Diego offered with a wicked grin.

Pogo sighed as he set the urn down underneath the tree. “I know that all you children saw your father in a very different way than I see him. To me, he was my creator and a very dear friend. He helped me become who I am today in every sense of the word.”

Viktor was unable to contain the information that he had been eluding to earlier, “But to us he’s the abuser that drugged me my entire life and lied about everything that he could in the hopes that he would control us better.”

“He drugged you?” Allison gasped as she turned to face her baby brother properly.

Viktor winced slightly. He had been trying really hard to keep those kinds of secrets to himself so that he didn’t have to explain it to everyone, but now was a better time than never. With their father gone and all of his siblings sharing the sentiment of hatred there was really nothing bad that could happen anyway. “Yeah. Do you guys remember what happened when I was four?”

“He said that you were sick and that none of us were allowed to see you,” Klaus snapped his fingers when he remembered. Despite all of the substances that he had put into his body when he was younger, he had the best memory out of all of them which is why he had made a good lookout and scout when he was sober. 

“That was a lie. He put me down in this room in the basement while he made a drug that could stop me from using my powers. Which is a detail that I probably should have led with before I started the story,” Viktor chuckled weakly.

Pogo looked grim, gripping his cane tighter in his hands and staring down at the collection of dead leaves brushing across the lawn in the early spring wind.

“You have powers?” Ben asked, his eyes widening slightly.

“Yeah. I have the ability to turn sounds into energy, but they’re really volatile and hard to control, especially back when I had no training or understanding of how they worked. I think that Dad saw the potential for me to be really dangerous and then decided that he didn’t want to deal with it anymore so he drugged me and used Allison to make sure I forgot about my powers,” Viktor nodded his head towards the sole female member of the Academy. 

She blanched and placed hand over her mouth as she processed everything that her brother had just explained and her own place in it. “Oh, Viktor. I barely even remembered it because Dad didn’t explain it and I just thought that it was some weird training thing. Was I really rumoring you to forget that you had powers?”

“Yeah, but I don’t blame you. We were all just kids at the time. The only person that can really be blamed is dead, thank God,” he chuckled as he cast his gaze back to the urn.

---

The siblings were all commiserating on how much they hated their father and how relieved they were that he was gone. They piled back into the house after shedding their coats back on the hook where they belonged so that they could talk. Grace busied herself with dinner in the kitchen while Pogo processed the fact that they had discovered a bunch of Reginald’s secrets. The caretakers also figured that their adult charges could use some time where they could be freely together without the watchful supervision of a parental figure.

Luther turned towards his husband and whispered something in his ear while Klaus was telling the story of his first personal training session that had taken place when he was eight, the one where he had died. The two of them had a very hushed discussion with each other about something that none of the other siblings could make out.

Finally, they finished their little whisper session and then turned back to the rest of the family. They patiently waited for the story to be over and a lull to take place in the conversation before Luther cleared his throat, “So now that Dad’s gone and can’t do anything about it, Diego and I wanted to let you all know that we’re married.”

While fishing his wallet out of his pocket Diego also said, “We have two little girls too. Olive is four and Mirabel is five. We had Olive through a surrogate right as we were matched with Mirabel after waiting two years for the adoption agency to get their shit together.”

He dug the photo out of his wallet and then passed it over to the sibling next to him. The little girls were standing next to each other while smiling widely at the person behind the camera in the way that kids did when they were told to smile. The smaller of the two had her blond hair done up in pigtails with sparkly hair ties and was wearing a pair of pink cargo shorts with a purple shirt that had cartoon characters on it. The older girl had her hair back in a messy braid, obviously having been playing before the picture was taken, and was wearing a green sundress with blue leggings underneath. 

“Holy shit, you guys have kids too?” Klaus asked, his eyes wide as he and his husband stared down at the picture. Ben was already digging around for the polaroid that he kept in his wallet of his family. 

“Too?” Diego asked as he eyed his second favorite brother.

“Yeah, well, I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that I was the only person Klaus could find to marry him,” Ben joked. His husband let out a little scoff of disapproval as he handed the polaroid of Luther and Diego’s daughters over to Allison so that she could look at them. 

It was hard for her to do so when she knew that she could very quickly be losing custody of her own daughter. She loved her siblings very dearly and she was happy that they had all found so much joy in their lives but she couldn’t help but feel a little jealous about that. They already all knew about Claire since none of her life was really private from the paparazzi, not with her husband actively giving interviews about their divorce while they went through it. She kept quiet and passed the picture over to Viktor and Five.

“The older one is Jackie, she’s seventeen and preparing to move off to college,” Ben said as he finished fishing the picture out of his wallet and passed it towards Allison as well. Klaus let out a little pouting whimper as he was reminded that his baby was getting ready to fly the nest soon. “The younger is Liam, he’s fifteen.”

The picture was all four of them standing together in the courthouse with two sets of official adoption papers being held by the adults. The older girl had black lipstick on and was wearing a green dress that fell off of one shoulder and went down to her mid-thigh. The boy was wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a button up flannel with a beanie stuffed over a shock of red hair.

“We’ve legally been their parents for about two years but we were fostering them for two before then too. We wanted to adopt them a lot sooner but that process takes forever,” Klaus groaned. “We also serve as a go-between point for when kids are either being moved to a new home or being put into the system. Our house is always pretty busy.”

The two of them looked at each other like they could imagine nothing better in the entire world than what they had just described. It was really sweet, all of the other siblings had to agree about that. They had all been there to see Klaus during the worst time in his life when he was trying to drown out the ghosts that his power allowed him to see with any substance that he could get his hands on. It was reassuring to all of them to see their brother so happy and full of life, starting a family with his best friend.

“I guess that means it’s our turn,” Five smiled down at his husband before he turned out to the rest of their siblings. “Viktor and I got married pretty much the night that we left the Academy. We have two kids of our own.”

Viktor flipped the polaroids out of his pocket and then passed them the same direction that the rest of the photos had been passed around. “Riley is the boy and the girl is Annika. They’re both ten.”

The photos were the ones that the kids had gotten from school, so they were separate but held together with a little roll of scotch tape on the back of each so that they became double sided. One side had Riley, wearing a blue button down and smiling wide enough to show off the gap in his teeth. The other side had Annika, her smile much smaller and her hair covering most of her face in her shyness.

“Are they biologically yours?” Diego asked when he looked over the photos before he handed them over to his husband.

“Uh, yeah, funny story,” Viktor laughed. “So adding onto the story I told you all outside, Dad told me that I was infertile my entire life. I was on the meds and apparently they had some kind of birth control inside of them because when I stopped taking them after we were able to afford a therapist Dad didn’t have control over, I got pregnant immediately. I’m talking a month after I stopped the pills we found out that I was pregnant with the twins.”

“Damn, you two are compatible biologically as well as personally!” Klaus cackled, which earned him a playful kick from Five across the living room. 

Viktor turned towards his sister, grasping her hand. “You can tell us about Claire if you want, you know.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s too raw to talk about at the moment. Maybe some other time,” Allison replied. All of the jealousy that had been burning inside of her chest melted when her brother showed her the gentle compassion that she had been aching for since her divorce started. Most of her and Patrick’s mutual friends had chosen her ex-husband over her, so she had been left with basically no one. She had people when she was here though, her siblings had done enough healing that they’d do that for her. She was sure of it.

---

The siblings continued to exchange stories about their kids until their mother got them for dinner. None of them had even realized that much time had passed until they were brought out of their conversations. It was nice to be back together and to realize that all of their siblings had families themselves. 

The second meal that they had was a lot more fun than the first had been because they all got to sit with their partners and talk with each other. Each of the couples were placed at the table across from their corresponding spouse with Pogo and Grace (Pogo ate very little and Grace didn’t need to eat, after all) sharing a spot at the head of the table and Allison at the other end.

“This smells amazing, Mom,” Viktor praised as he finished heaping food onto his plate and then passed the noodles to his husband.

“I’m glad that you think so, dear. I’ve missed cooking for all of you. You should come back and visit more often,” she was nearly pleading. None of them could resist it, so they all quickly agreed to meeting up at the Academy at least once a month for a family dinner, though Allison’s visits would be rarer since she lived across the country.

Pogo and Grace were elated to hear about all the grandkids that they had and Grace demanded that she hear the stories that they had already told each other when they were hanging out in the living room. Each of the parents were happy to tell her everything that she wanted to know about the kids since they were very overtly proud of them. Most of it was tame, like how they were doing in schools and what it had been like when they lost their first teeth. It was harder for Ben and Klaus to answer a lot of the questions since they had gotten their kids a lot older than the rest of their siblings had, but they still found a way to tell as many stories as they could.

Halfway through the meal, Grace got up and decided that she was going to bring out some wine to help celebrate the revelation of her expanded family after making them all promise to bring her grandkids to see her when they could. She got out seven wine glasses for each of the kids and then began to go around he table, filling them up as she had when Reginald held dinner parties at the mansion.

By the time that she got to Viktor he placed his hand over the top of the cup, “Water is fine, Mom.”

“What, you’re not drinking tonight?” Klaus asked. “You should at least have one for me,” he winked.

“I have to drive,” Viktor shook his head. 

“You don’t, he can teleport,” Diego pointed towards Five. “And a small glass of wine isn’t going to impair your driving ability.”

“Maybe not with Luther’s metabolism,” the smallest brother sniped playfully back.

“Stop pressuring our brother to drink if he doesn’t want to,” Allison shook her head.

“But this is a celebration! And I can’t celebrate because of the stupid sobriety thing even though Dad had the best wine,” Klaus groaned dramatically. It wasn’t really that hard for him to stay away from alcohol anymore, not when the only reason he had been so dependent on his substances had gone away after he was able to overcome his fear with the help of his husband. That was why he hadn’t politely excused himself to go back home to their kids early when Grace had declared that she was going to bring down the bottle.

Luther then looked up and caught Viktor’s eyes before he gasped, “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

The siblings all erupted in shouts.

“Luther!” Allison gasped like he had personally offended her.

“You can’t just say things like that, honey,” Diego placed his hands over his eyes.

“I highly doubt that this far in his transition he can even get pregnant anymore. Hyper compatibility with Five or not,” Klaus snorted like the whole idea was very funny.

While all of their siblings argued with each other, Five and Viktor shared a look that no one else picked up on for a moment before the smaller man turned back towards them. He caught Luther’s eye and then gave him a nod, which made the tallest member of the Academy crow confidently. “I knew it!”

“What, you’re pregnant?” Allison gaped as she turned back towards her brother.

He laughed. “Klaus was partially right about me being far enough in my transition to not be able to conceive. I had to have a very long talk with my doctor about stopping HRT for a while so that I could carry another baby to term. But Five and I thought that it was important to have a kid on purpose this time, and our family needed another addition,” Viktor turned to his partner and smiled affectionately at him.

“I love you,” Five whispered, so quiet only Viktor could hear thanks to his super-enhanced hearing. They shared a quick kiss before they went back to answering questions.

“How far along are you?” Diego asked.

Viktor pulled his green t-shirt tight around his stomach with one hand, revealing the fact that his abdomen was already rounded out significantly. “Just passed twenty eight weeks, but I got damned good at hiding a bump when I had the twins. This means that I don’t get misgendered this time around.”

“Twenty eight weeks? And you can hide the bump?” Allison gawked. She had tried to hide her pregnancy from the paparazzi because having a publicly known pregnancy sounded like Hell on Earth, but they had found out almost immediately.

“I had twins the first time! I was way bigger with them than I am with baby number three so all the tricks I learned with them work extra because there’s less to hide.”

“Do you have any ultrasound photos?” Klaus asked, very excited for his brothers and the newest soon-to-be addition to the family.

Five shook his head, which made Grace a little bit disappointed as well. “We can bring some the next time we come for a family dinner,” he quickly placated.

The siblings and two parental figures gave their congratulations to the two expecting Hargreeves before the conversation continued to lilt and change through the night.

Something about the way that they had all detached from the Academy had been good for them, but they were all ready to be a proper family now that their father was dead. There was nothing holding them back from talking to each other as often as they wanted and about anything in their lives. They didn’t have to worry about what would get passed back to their shared abuser or what might be taken the wrong way because they were all remarkably similar and Reginald was now long dead.

[merrilark]

Sorry in advance for the word dump. I have too many thoughts and no energy to sort them or try to be eloquent about it tonight. Pfft!

I love to imagine crossovers between TUA and Misfits and lemme tell you that I would ship the heck outta Luther/Kelly. Gorilla jokes at their expense aside, they would be so cute. She would be so good to him and vice versa, because Kelly wants someone genuine and Luther is the least performative of all the siblings and, even though he makes some very poor decisions, he is, generally, well-meaning and doing his best. Kelly’d also square up to Nathan or Diego if she thought they were being too rough with Luther. Heck, she’d throw hands with Reginald Hargreeves, zero hesitation lol

I also kind of like the idea of Alisha or Nathan and Diego. Romantically? Platonically? Both??? Who knows. But the dynamic they could have would be entertaining regardless.

Alisha’d 100% flirt with Diego though, that’s undeniable. I could probably ship them, but I’m unsure if it’d be shallow and brief, or if they’d be good for each other. That’s always a toss-up with Alisha, who I think struggles a lot more with self-esteem than she lets on. But I mostly just love squishing the more stoic, quiet characters with the extroverted party animals who rarely take anything seriously, and these two would be an interesting if short-lived combination.

Nathan would drive Diego crazy half the time no matter what, but Nathan’s just enough of a pitiable disaster who is, for the most part, delightfully oblivious to that disastrousness, that I think Diego’d deal with him just to help him out. And then they could bond by badmouthing their dads and talking about how much they love their moms. Win/win. Definitely one of their favorite shared pastimes.

All three of them try so hard to pretend they don’t have issues when they clearly do, and I can totally see either duo being chaotic while still being good at bringing softness and an itty bitty bit of vulnerability out of the other. Diego has pretty good EQ despite being emotionally constipated, and Alisha and Nathan can have decent EQ but they reserve that emotional energy primarily for people they’ve decided are safe to care about. Their differences would end up balancing them out, I think.

But honestly any combination of characters would be so fun.

Klaus and Alisha? Gossip, gossip, gossip. I think Klaus might think Alisha’s a bit mean, but his superpower may as well be getting along with anyone, so they’d be fine, and Alisha would warm up to him. The insane stories they could tell each other! I can hear Klaus’ cackling and mock scandalized gasps already. Klaus and Nathan? Chaos and shenanigans 24/7 and surprisingly insightful heart-to-hearts because their brains tickle along the same planes and wavelenths. Klaus and Simon? Similar to Klaus and Viktor. I can kinda see Klaus being a little protective of Simon in a big bro/little bro way, even if he thinks Simon’s a bit creepy. I could also see Simon coming to Klaus occasionally for advice if only because he’s so easily approachable and non-judgemental.

Obviously Viktor and Simon have a lot in common, being the quiet outcasts. Simon might not enjoy Viktor’s tendency to have a victim complex, but I think they could relate and they’d both be fantastic listeners. And omggg, Simon and Diego sparring together! Doing vigilante stuff together! Even Simon and Five being best bros would be really good; they’re both very much the characters who shoulder the most responsibility in protecting their friends/family, often alone, and they’re both the most pragmatic of their circle. However the thought of Simon and Luther in the same room would both be sweet and create a shockwave of social awkwardness that could be felt within a 10 mile radius.

I could almost ship Kelly and Diego, too, actually, now that I think about it, but I dunno if they’d click like that. There’d be a lot of respect for each other, yeah, but Diego tends to gravitate toward people he feels need help and Kelly has issues, but she’s not really the sort of person who needs anyone, emotionally or otherwise. She’s fiercely self-sufficient and doesn’t like feeling like she isn’t. I guess her and Diego are a lot alike in that way, maybe too much for it to work out as anything but platonic.

I think Ben would probably get along with most anyone except maybe Alisha and Nathan. He just wouldn’t have anything in common with Alisha, and we all know Nathan can and will make fun of someone any chance he gets. Ben might not be as sensitive as Luther, but I think his feelings could very easily be hurt by Nathan at worst. At best he’d find him grating. Nathan’s too performative and takes too much delight in bullying people, and I don’t think Ben would want to expend the energy on him if he didn’t have to.

Luther also would get along with... most of them. Except for Nathan. Nathan would make him cry without even trying. Sorry, Luther. But that’s why Lu needs Kelly. LOL

Struggling to figure out Curtis, though. Curtis is the gang’s moral compass, no doubt, but he’s also a bit of a snob and while he cares for all his friends, I think they’re really just friends out of circumstance, besides Alisha. He’d probably like Viktor but not care to get to know him. Klaus is fine, Ben’s fine, Luther’s fine, Five... Curtis would probably respect him but not really like him. They’d really have nothing in common beyond time travel and Curtis would find him too bossy and sharp to be pleasant.

Maybe Curtis would have a better chance at being friends with Allison and Diego. Diego really only for the shared athletic interest, and Allison because Curtis has always felt like the gang, sans Alisha, is a bit beneath him. Allison is more outwardly put together and “normal” than the other Hargreeves, too, never mind the fact that she has the fame Curtis wishes he had.

Allison would probably get along with all of them well enough, even Nathan, though I don’t think she’d really like him. She’s very much the big sister friend and I don’t think that’d change with the Misfits gang.

I doubt Five would care much about befriending any of them, though I could see Nathan squirming his way into his affections and Five being very annoyed with himself for it. He’d probably have the best shot at connecting with Simon, though, for the reasons I already listed. They bear a lot of responsibility and concern themselves a lot with the greater good specifically for the people they love (where in contrast, Diego worries about the people he loves and everyone else... but I digress, that’s a topic for another post entirely lol).

[thewhiskersonkittens]

Snuggle

Pairing: Pete "Maverick" Mitchell x Female Reader.

Summary: After having a bad day at work, Lieutenant Pete “Maverick” Mitchell comes over to make you feel better.

Warnings: Fluff, romantic, hurt/comfort, depression, loneliness, sadness, a few curse words, mention of sex.

Word Count: 3, 477.

A/N: This idea is from the Hurt/Comfort prompt list from @lazyprompts​.

"Sure, we can snuggle if it will make you feel better."

This is my first reader insert. Hope you enjoy! :)

Day by day on the outside you were smiling however on the inside you felt like you were hanging on by a very thin thread. You were a civilian employee on NAS Miramar in the administration department. It was a great job with great pay and benefits. You had your own apartment. You knew you should feel so proud of yourself. Yet, loneliness and boredom often plagued you.

You were still fairly new to the San Diego area. You kept yourself busy with your work but you felt like life was passing you by. You were far away from your family. You hardly ever went out. Your last real relationship ended months ago and you didn't feel like throwing yourself back into the dating game. Some days you felt so bad you didn't want to get out of bed.

People around the base treated you friendly enough but the only person that seemed to truly cheer you up was Lieutenant Pete "Maverick" Mitchell. You would see each other around usually when he and his RIO Lt. J. G. Nick "Goose" Bradshaw had just come from a training exercise or when they had finished a briefing session. He would always flash his mega-watt smile at you that only you knew made your heart flutter.

"Good morning, Y/N. How's it going?" Pete would ask as you passed by.

It was such a standard question but it seemed like he actually wanted to know how you were.

 "Hello, Lieutenant Mitchell, I'm good. How are you?" You would say.

"I'm great but I'm even better now that I see you," He’d reply, smiling.

You would exchange a few brief friendly words and then depart ways to get back to business. It was less than five minutes of time spent, but somehow talking to Pete always made you feel like on cloud nine. Even if it was only a short-lived moment you couldn't help but appreciate the attention of a very handsome pilot.

One day everything that could go wrong, did. You were late for work by only two minutes but that didn't stop your supervisor from chastising you in front of your other co-workers. An officer found errors with your paperwork which got you more complaints from your boss. During your hustle to get out the door in the morning, you had forgotten your lunch and you were stuck eating only a Snickers bar and a diet Coke.

On your way out of the break room, someone carrying an iced coffee bumped into you staining your blouse. Back at your desk, the assignments were piling up. You could barely make a dent in your work because people kept interrupting your progress with constant phone calls and other distractions.

Finally, when the day started to wind down, you gazed out the window as the sun was setting. You realized you hadn't seen Pete all day. You figured he probably spent the day out on another training exercise or in the classroom. It made you sad that you didn't get a chance to talk to him at least once. It was often the highlight of your day.

As you were looking out the window, you happened to see a young sailor walk out of the building. A beautiful woman greeted him by throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him on the lips. You assumed them to be husband and wife as they happily joined hands and walked away together. All of a sudden, you felt a single hot tear roll down your cheek.

You quickly wiped it away with your hand. It was time to call it a day. You knew you had to get out of there fast before you became a balling baby in front of everyone. You snatched up your purse and keys and made a beeline for the exit. You kept your head down to avoid anyone noticing you. The tears were rolling silently and steadily down your face at this point. As you got to the exit door, you accidentally bumped into someone coming in.

 "Excuse me," You managed to squeak. Now even your voice was starting to betray you.

You felt the person gently catch your arm to stop you from walking away.

"Y/N? Is that you? What's wrong?" A familiar voice asked.

Oh no, you thought. Of all people, it had to be the one guy you really didn't want to see you this way.

You looked up to see Pete lifting up his aviators, resting them on top of his head. He had never seen you mad or upset before, let alone cry. No one had.

You met his eyes that showed concern for you. His eyes. Oh God, those gorgeous exquisite eyes of his. Were they blue? Were they green? Were they a mixture of both colors? You didn't know for sure. The only thing you knew was you wanted to melt every time you looked into them. Except for now. Right now you wanted nothing more than to vanish into thin air.

"Hey, what's wrong, Y/N?" Pete asked again. He was still softly holding your arm.

 "I...I, um..." You didn't know what to say. 

"C'mon, whose ass I gotta kick?" Pete joked, an attempt to make you smile.

You shook your head. "Nobody," You said. "It's nobody. It's nothing. I gotta go, Lieutenant Mitchell. I'm sorry. Thanks anyway."

You moved out of his grip and turned away. You picked up your pace as you hurried to your car. 

"Y/N! Y/N! Wait! Come back!" Pete called after you.

He had followed you halfway out to the parking lot. You got to your driver's side door, unlocked and opened it. You looked back at him and paused. He stopped and stared at you.

"Y/N?!" He exclaimed. "C'mon, tell me what's wrong? I can help!" 

You simply shook your head no, slipped in your car and drove home.

***

You managed to make it home safely.  As soon as you were in the privacy of your apartment you took off your clothes and hopped in the shower. You hoped it would help clean you up but when you stepped out and you wiped the steam off the mirror, you saw your eyes were still a little red and puffy.

You slipped on an old pair of shorts and a baggy T shirt. You flipped through the TV channels, trying to distract yourself from the horrible day, but your mind kept wandering. You thought of the married couple you had seen and about how that was the triggering mechanism that sent you over the edge. You thought about how Pete Mitchell saw you crying. You replayed the scene over and again, regretting how you practically pushed him away when he was only trying to help you.

Your phone started ringing making you snap back to reality. You stared at the landline phone like you've never seen it before. It kept ringing. Maybe it was your mother? You thought. You glanced at the clock on the wall. It was close to nine PM. No way would she be calling this late.

Whoever it was on the other end was insistent. You didn't really feel like to talking to anyone but you made yourself pick up the phone on the last ring before it went to the answering machine.

"Hello?" You sighed into the receiver. 

"Hey, you," It was Pete's voice. “I knew you weren't going to ignore my call.  Were you, sweetheart?"

You could tell he was smiling that Cheshire cat grin of his on the other end.

The use of "sweetheart" made a bundle of butterflies erupt in your stomach like you were a little school girl. The unbelievable effect this man had on you. It was ridiculous.

"Lieutenant," You said. You didn't want to smile but you couldn't help it. "How did you get my number?"

"Sorry, that's classified," He laughed. "Let's just say I have my ways and leave it at that. Otherwise, I'd have to kill ya."

You surprised yourself by laughing.

"Feeling any better?" He asked. "You kinda had me worried earlier."

"Yes, I'm fine," You sighed. "I was just having a bad day. That's all."

 "Can I come over?"

The question startled you.

"Can you come over?!" You repeated. "Right now?!"  

"There's no better time than right now," Pete said, matter-of-factly. 

You quickly looked around your apartment. You kept your place clean and decent but you still felt unprepared for any company. Been so long since you had any.

 "I got something for you," Pete told you.

Your imagination went wild with possibilities but you told yourself to calm down. Just because you had a crush on him didn't mean he felt the same way. For all you knew, he was just being nice to you. 

"Um, uh," You stuttered. Oh my God. Oh my God. You couldn't believe you were actually going to say yes to this. 

"Um, OK," You managed to say as calmly as possible.

"Well, gee whiz, Y/N, don't get too excited now!" Joked the hot shot pilot on the other end.

Oh, baby, if you only knew… You thought.

You gave him your apartment address and he told you he'd be over ASAP.

***

About fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on your door. You opened the door to see Pete standing there. You both seemed to be at a loss for words because you both realized this was the first time you had ever seen each other outside your respective work clothes.

He was wearing a plain white T-shirt, his dog tags were tucked underneath. He wore a brown leather bomber jacket with various squadron patches on it and faded blue jeans. You were still wearing your baggy shirt and shorts.

Your eyes followed to where you saw he was holding a small, pretty bouquet in his hands. 

"Is that for me?" You asked, surprised.

"No, my dear, on my way over I thought your landlord deserved something pretty." Pete kidded, as he extended the bouquet to you.

"Of course it's for you! By the way, did you know how hard it is to carry flowers on a Kawasaki?"

You laughed with him as you brought the sweet smelling bouquet to your nose. It was a colorful array of roses, carnations, lilies, and gerbera daisies. 

"Thank you, Lieutenant Mitchell," You said. "Please come in."

"Oh, it's nothing," He replied, stepping through the door.

“It’s the least I could do. And, please, call me Mav."

You must have looked confused because he smiled and added:

"Maverick. Or Pete. Whichever one. You don't have to call me Lieutenant."

You were still unsure.

"We're not at work, Y/N." He reassured you. "It's OK. We can drop the formalities."

You returned his smile. "OK," You said. "Well, thanks again," You paused. "Maverick. Pete."

You found an empty vase, filled it with water, and set the bouquet in it. After offering him something to drink, you led him to the living room and you both took a seat on the couch.

"So, tell me about your day," Pete said, wasting no time.

You sighed. You told him about being late, both your boss and the Navy officer getting on your case, your piss-poor excuse of a lunch, the iced coffee all over your blouse, being swamped with assignments.

When you finished, Pete let out a low whistle.

"Wow, Y/N. That was a rough day, huh?"

"Yeah," You agreed. "I'll be OK, though."

"But all of that wasn't why you were crying. Was it?" 

You thought you were going to get away with leaving out the real reason for your crying spell but nothing got passed Pete.

"Why were you crying, Y/N?" Pete asked again.

You sighed and looked at your feet. You didn't want to revisit the feelings over again but you knew he wasn't going to leave it alone.

"It's stupid," You told him as you pretended to pick at an imaginary thread on your shorts. "A stupid, stupid thing to cry over."

You looked up at him then and saw him staring at you. He had removed his jacket earlier and you wondered how someone could look so damn good in a plain white T-shirt but he pulled it off flawlessly.

"Try me," Pete said.

Slowly, you told him about seeing the married couple outside your window.

"It's so stupid," You said. "I don't even know who they are but just seeing them hug and kiss made me cry. On top of everything else that happened today. I guess it had been building up for a while."

"I get it," Pete said after taking a moment to digest what you told him. "Believe it or not, I do get it."

You were surprised. "You do?"

"Yes," He assured you. "You're lonely, Y/N. We all get lonely. It's OK."

Pete went on to elaborate: "Try being on a six or seven month deployment around the world in the Navy and tell me you never get lonely."

He talked about how his pilot father had died in Vietnam when he was a child and how his mother was gone, too. 

"Carol and Goose,” Pete paused and smiled. "J.G. Bradshaw, as you know him. Him and her and their sweet little boy, Bradley. They are like my family now. They’re so good to me."

"They are good people," You agreed.

"They are the BEST people," Pete insisted. "They’re everything to me. They’re so crazy in love with each other. I'm always happy for them. But sometimes I find myself wanting that, you know? What they have. A love like that."

He reached over and took your hand in his. Your heart fluttered and you felt those silly butterflies again in your stomach.

Pete chuckled. "Heh. I know this is gonna sound really corny but they say the loneliest people are the kindest people."

You both locked eyes. He was still holding your hand and rubbing his thumb softly back and forth over your knuckles.

"And you are a very kind, sweet person, Y/N. You really are."

You had been feeling tears brimming on your eyes. Now they were rolling down your cheeks. You let a sob escape.

Alarmed, Pete let go of your hand. He looked so worried.

"What?! Oh geez, don't do that. I was trying to make you feel better. Not to make you cry again!"

You laughed through your tears. You reached over and grabbed a Kleenex from the coffee table and blotted your eyes.

"I'm sorry, Pete," You said, trying to pull yourself together. "It's just...that's so nice of you to say."

He reached over and pulled you into a warm embrace.

"Hey, I mean it, Y/N. I really do. I'm not just saying that." He whispered into your ear.

Pete said something else but you were too distracted by the fact that you were being held in his arms. Oh God, the warmth of his body pressed up against yours. His muscular arms squeezing you firmly but gently. It felt so good. So, so good. And you suddenly didn't want him to leave.

You leaned back to look at him. 

"Pete?" You said. “Will you stay with me? Here? Tonight? I don’t want to be alone tonight. I don’t want you go.”

His bushy eyebrows went up in surprise and his eyes widened. His lips parted but he didn’t know what to say.

“I just don’t want you to go.” You repeated. “Please don’t go. Stay with me.”

You wondered if you sounded desperate but you couldn’t help it.

“Y/N,” Pete started. “I…uh, um…”

Without thinking you put your index finger to his lips to hush him.

“Please, Pete. Will you please do something for me?”

You removed your finger from his lips so he could answer.

“For you? Anything.” Pete whispered.

“Sleep with me.” You said, rather boldly.

His eyes widened again and he chuckled. Was it your imagination or did he actually sound nervous? You thought someone like him never got nervous.

“Oh, sweetheart,” He moaned.

You realized both of you were breathing heavy even though nothing had happened but talking. He didn’t say anything more and for a minute you wanted to burst into tears again. As if you couldn’t have possibly embarrassed yourself any more today. Now here you were practically throwing yourself at him. You thought maybe you were starting to cross a line, professionally, but you quickly ruled that out. Technically, the two of you weren’t doing anything wrong. You were a civilian so he wouldn’t be breaking any of the Navy’s fraternization policies.

“Y/N,” Pete said, tentatively. “Honey. You don’t know what you’re saying. I know you’re just really sad right now and…”

“We don’t have to have sex,” You told him quickly although you certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it.

“We could just…literally sleep together. You know? Like, snuggle?”

He smiled at your suggestion but you realized how silly it sounded. You were sure a man as good-looking as Pete “Maverick” Mitchell didn’t spend the night with a woman just to “literally sleep” with her.

He reached over and cupped the sides of your face with his hands.

“Sweetheart,” His face was soft with emotion as he gazed into your eyes. “I really don’t think that would be a good idea.”

He took his thumb and brushed it over your cheek, wiping some of the excess tears away. Then he moved his thumb down over your lips. The motion sent little electric currents throughout your body. You closed your eyes and then let them flutter open.

“Why not?” You breathed.

Pete’s eyes were on your lips as he simply said low and husky:

“Because I don’t know if I could control myself.”

His admission made you gasp. Oh my God, you thought. He likes me, too?!

Your thoughts were officially confirmed as he leaned in and tenderly kissed you.

Your heart did somersaults in your chest. The butterflies exploded in your stomach. You kissed him back. You wanted more but he reluctantly pulled away.

“Look, Y/N.” He said. “Let me be clear. I didn’t come over here to try to get your in pants.”

You opened your mouth to protest but he stopped you.

“No, wait, listen,” He told you. “I just don’t want you think that I’m trying to take advantage of you. I was really worried about you.”

Your heart couldn’t melt enough. The thought that he was simply trying to take advantage of your fragile emotional state in order to seduce you hadn’t even crossed your mind. You knew he cared. He always cared. He had a natural talent of consistently pissing off the Navy brass and various other people but deep down, you knew the handsome daredevil pilot had a bigger heart than the Tin Man.

“I know, Pete,” You told him. “It’s OK. So will you? Will you stay? Please. Just hold me again.”

Pete hesitated. Finally he said:

“Sure, we can snuggle if that will make you feel better.”

Your face lit up as he welcomed you into back his arms. You took to his embrace like a duck takes to water.

He stretched out on the couch and let you rest there next to him. You loved the feeling of his body next to yours, your head on his chest.  You could feel his dog tags underneath his shirt. It felt so, so good, him holding you. You didn’t realize how touch starved you really were until just then.

He rubbed your back and played with your hair. The two of you talked softly until eventually you drifted off to a peaceful deep sleep.

***

When you awakened, you found yourself alone. You were still on the couch but you were tucked in with one of your blankets. It was still early as you glanced at the wall clock. Pete must have waited until you were sound asleep to slip out. It made sense. It was your day off but he had to be back on the base by a certain time.

You went to roll over and heard something make a light crunching sound. You raised up and found a small paper airplane lying next to you and a rose you recognized as being one of the flowers in the bouquet he bought you.

Smiling, you picked up the paper airplane and unfolded it. Inside was a note:

Saturday. 7:30. Dinner. To Be Continued…

You picked up the rose and closely examined it. You heart skipped a beat as you realized what color it was. You weren’t sure if Pete selected that rose intentionally or if he just took the first one he saw. It was mostly likely the latter but it didn’t matter. It couldn’t have been more perfect.

It was a yellow rose with red tips. Friendship blossoming into love.

[witchthewriter]

hiii! those notifications about your shipp games made me want to try it to (if thats okay for you)!

my level is 3

fandoms: marvel, the umbrella academy and peaky blinders

about me: i am a woman, she/her, bi and a brazillian in usa. i am smart, straight As kinda of girls(i really not doing this to brag, but that is basically my personality -hello anxiety- so...), studying journalism. 80% of what came out of my mouth are jokes (10% of them makes someone laugh because i am terrible at it), always laughing even in moments we're i shouldnt. i am short, kinda stubborn, like reading and a big fan of my queen taylor swift. i cant think of anything more to say so...

thank uu, l am in love with your new fase in this hellsite :))

Want one? Here be the rules 🦋

This girlie right here is my absolute gorgeous friend. I want everyone to follow her, she is so sweet! Thank you my love for being so supportive! 

What each ship has in common:

⋆ Somewhat stoic ⋆ Determined ⋆ Passionate ⋆ Intelligent ⋆ Intimidating

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 

 I ship you with Marc Spector from Moon Knight! (I really really hope you’ve seen the show but if not I’ll give a quick lil rundown without any spoilers!!) okay so this man right here ... whew ... he is so sexy. It’s like the creators scoured this hellsite to see what we love and then made Marc. He’s intimidating, bold, very very much daddy, takes charge, knows what to do etc.

You two work because you give him a reprieve with your lightheartedness. He needs someone in his life to balance the scales. He is all this doom and gloom, then you come in and cheer him up.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・He likes his head scratched; very big fan of scalp massages and gentle hair strokes

・Will make sure your car is always serviced, and has a full tank. He fixes lightbulbs, kills spiders and makes you feel safe.

・I can see you singing ‘Gimme Gimme Gimme A Man After Midnight’ by ABBA. And he’s a total mess, blushing and laughing. Especially if you’re up dancing as well

・Is so so so protective of you! At times you have to tell him to calm down and you can take care of yourself

・Likes to watch you sleep - not in a weird way, you just look so peaceful

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Your hands - he loves holding them, kissing them. He loves it when you hold his face in your hands too

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓��𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

Natasha Romanoff. You two get along really well, just like with Marc, she enjoys your jokes.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐀𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐲

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Diego Hargreeves! He has a lot of walls up and likes to shield himself from emotions. Doesn’t like to let others know they’ve gotten to him. I think you guys would bond over something like the pressures of exceeding expectations.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Yes Diego has his siblings, and he does love them ... although he would never admit it. But it was like he had never experienced love until he met you. A fire formed in the pit of his stomach since meeting you;

・He will always, always defend you. He’s literally like ... ‘befriend defend,’ and will always throw hands if someone even slightly insults you

・He’s like a puppy, the way his eyes follow you wherever you go. Klaus teases him about it all the time

・Very, very grumpy. And you tease him about that. Getting him to smile is the best feeling in the world. Not many people can do it

・He shows how much he loves you by doing acts of service; getting your favourite meals, chocolate, sweets, making dinner etc

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Your kindness and love towards him. He absolutely adores you and would spend the rest of his life with you, if you agreed.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

Five; I think you guys would have really deep, interesting conversations that blow the others’ minds.

𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Ada Shelby! I think you two would be like two peas in a pod. It would be a comfortable and easy going relationship. You wouldn’t be pushed beyond your limits or made to feel uncomfortable. She would always look after you. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Probably met at the library, since you would go there to study a lot. She notices and recommends/helps you find books.

・You were surprised to find out she was a Shelby. It did intimidate you a bit at first, but it didn’t stop you from seeing her.  

・Kinda like a mini book club, with just the two of you. But it was just an excuse for her to invite you over to her house

・She likes to gift you books and write you little notes in the margins.

・Leaning your forehead against each other

・Not telling you a lot about the business at first, because even she doesn’t like being a part of it.

・Taking you to the movies, and literally saying no one else is allowed in, ‘under the order of the peaky blinders.’

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Your passion. She finds it so invigorating how much you care, how much you want and desire. She isn’t used to it.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

I reckon you would be great friends with Esme; she would be such an interesting person to get to know.

[singtotheskiies]

dream come true // five hargreeves x fem!reader (royal au)

masterlist

summary: prince five longs for a taste of the world outside the marble walls of the castle he’s always known—and when he meets you at the annual ball, he discovers that it’s even more beautiful than he could have imagined.

request (by my absolute favorite anon): I was wondering if you'd be up for writing an AU one shot? I can't get the idea of something similar to a Cinderella (or prince/princess royalty AU) out of my mind. At some point Reggie throws a Grand Ball for some reason and thats where Reader and Five meet and fall in love and well idk if there would be conflict regarding Reggie and his approval (not like Five would ask) but happy ending? Whether Reader is a princess or a commoner or something else I'll leave up to you.

words: 2000

warnings: none besides reggie’s shit parenting lolz

a/n: i,,,,,, am BLOWN AWAY by this request it is so cute!!! i feel like i really could have done more with this, but here’s a lil unedited smth for you all to enjoy!!! (i wouldn’t be 100% opposed to writing more for this au at some point either)

✖️✖️✖️

Five rolls his eyes to the back of his head for what seems like the thousandth time today. If he has to listen to Luther and Diego tear into each other for five more minutes, he thinks he’s actually going to go insane.

He can see Allison glare at him from the corner of his vision, and he raises his hand in a choice gesture without bothering to look at her directly. Reginald’s cane comes down hard on the floor, voice slicing through the room and silencing Luther and Diego’s bickering.

“Five, your behavior is absolutely un—“ “Spare me the lecture, father.” Five cracks a humorless smile. “I already know what you’re going to say—the future of the kingdom is in our hands, all of us must be prepared since we never know when our moment will come, and so on and so on. Well, I’m tired of this! So tired. All we ever do is sit here and listen to those two—“ he pins Luther and Diego with an angry stare— “argue on and on while you just sit there all self-righteous and above it all, never having the decency to tell us who’s going to inherit—“ “That is quite enough,” Reginald snaps, voice taut with rage. “Out.” Five’s eyes narrow. “Out!” And so he finds himself outside the throne room for the third time in as many weeks, head lolling back against the cool marble. I’m really not cut out for this, he thinks. If this is all royalty is—just endless arguing and politics day after day—then I don’t want it. The mid-morning sun breaks through the clouds, shining through the huge glass panes that line the hall. Gold trimmings catch the light, and a glimmer hits Five right in the eyes. He stands up with a sigh and makes his way to the window, looking out on the courtyard and the distant hills beyond. He’s spent hours looking outside at those hills, longing to run for them with all his might. Small homes dot the slopes like beads on a necklace, and Five wants to walk among them, feeling the ground against his feet and listening to all the villagers greet each other as they go about their days. He longs to be free of marble walls and false smiles and instead feel the freedom that he imagines comes from interacting with real people. An impossible dream, perhaps—but a lovely one all the same. And when Reginald calls Five back to the throne room for a talking-to, it certainly helps take his mind off things. Maybe someday, he thinks. ✖️✖️✖️ The sun beams down bright and warm, and you’re grateful for the shade of your stall in the market. It’s been a slow day for selling, and you can’t help but wish that the time would go faster so that you can be free to roam about as you wish. As much as you love selling your jewelry, there’s other prospects that spark more excitement in you—namely, the yearly Presentation Ball being held in just two days. A smile spreads across your face at the thought of it. It’s going to be beautiful, you imagine, full of normal people trying to be their best for one night. And, of course, the royals will be there. Now, you’re not one to gush over a family who’s never seen in public, but a tiny part of you has to admit that the allure of the elite is tempting. This is the first year you’ve ever been able to go, and you wonder if the stories you’ve heard of rulers more statue than person are true. You hope to get a glimpse of them—just to see if they are, in fact, human. The pads of your fingers brush over the necklace in your pocket you’re saving for the ball, and a smile stays on your face for the rest of the day. ✖️✖️✖️ “You had better redeem yourself tonight, boy!” Reginald says to Five, all rancid decorum and thinly-veiled contempt. “I think it unreasonable to expect that I will sit still like—like some puppet all night, Father,” Five shoots back. “Not when our people will be there—I fully expect to speak with some of them.” “What have I always told you and your siblings ever since you were young? Commoners—“ “—Are to be avoided at all costs. Yes, I know. And I am telling you that I believe we cannot be true rulers without knowing who we are reigning over,” Five speaks earnestly, face flushed. “You are a disgrace to this family,” Reginald shouts, all traces of civility gone. “Your siblings would never—“ “Well, I am not my siblings! And I am certainly not going to sit there next to them and feign pompousness,” Five spits. “I’ve had enough of doing things your way.” His turns his heel, moving to storm out of the room.

“Where are you going, boy? The opening introduction will start any minute!” Reginald shouts after him.

“Do it without me! I’m going to be where it really matters—with my people.” Five yells over his shoulder.

Defying Father feels better than he ever could have imagined—and so he takes a deep breath and enters the crowd with a growing smile.

✖️✖️✖️

It’s quite possibly the most exciting night of your life, and you’re completely, heartbreakingly late.

You curse under your breath as you run up the castle stairs, dress gathered up in your hands to keep from tripping. Guards stand on either side of the grand, gilded entrance, and you breathe a sigh of relief when you see a small knot of people entering just before you. You reach the doors and hold out your invitation, smiling at the guard as he nods in acceptance. “Enjoy,” he says, and you beam back.

“I will.”

The ballroom is just as stunningly beautiful as you’d imagined. Gold swirls along the white marble walls, accents of royal red adding to the decadence. The huge room is chock-full of people smiling and drinking and making eyes at each other. You breathe deeply in awe, eyes shining as your head moves side to side, hardly knowing where to look next.

After several moments of looking around, your eyes land on the grand throne at the very front of the room, furthest from you. King Reginald is seated in all his harsh glory on it, flanked on either side by two of the princes. They’re dressed in brilliant royal clothes, trying their best to look as commanding as their father. Four other beautiful royals sit next to them, but your eye is drawn most to the empty throne at the end of the row. If you remember correctly, there should be five princes and two princesses—but only four men are sitting with the king. You wonder where the other is—perhaps sick or off on royal business? The kingdom rarely sees the royals outside of the balls, so it’s impossible to tell which prince is missing.

You turn away from the thrones, curiosity overcome by your thirst. Maneuvering your way through the packs of people is a bit tricky, but you manage to reach the refreshments table without any major accidents. A servant pours you a drink, and you thank him with a smile. As you turn to leave, you nearly bump into a boy about your age.

“I’m so sorry!” you exclaim, before continuing on.

“Wait,” his voice comes after you. You stop and turn back around, pleasantly surprised. “I’m sorry too. What’s your name?”

You tell him, and he smiles.

“I’m F—“ he pauses. “Felix. It’s very nice to meet you.” He reaches for your hand and plants a soft kiss on your knuckles with surprising grace. He’s really quite handsome, you think—slender, searing green eyes, well-groomed, thick hair. Most endearing of all is a dimple in his cheek that deepens as he smiles at you.

“Very nice to meet you too, Felix,” you grin, still-tingling hand slowly coming back down to your side.

“That’s a beautiful necklace,” he says with admiration. “Where is it from?”

“I actually made it myself! I sell my own jewelry at the market on weekdays,” you beam. “The wire is made from metal mined right here in the kingdom. It’s purer here than in any surrounding region.”

“That’s amazing,” Felix says with another soft smile. “You must know all sorts of things about jewelry.”

“I guess I’ve learned my fair share,” you laugh quietly. “Jewelry is how I make a living—and it’s one of my passions, so I suppose you’re right.”

“Tell me about how you make pieces,” he asks as the two of you find a relatively quiet place to sit, voice genuine and curious.

And so you do.

✖️✖️✖️

You’re the most beautiful thing Five has ever seen—high praise from a boy who’s lived in splendor all his life. As he watches you talk about your craft, he can’t tear his eyes away from your animated face and hands. How had he lived this long without realizing how beautiful people were? He’d never known something as small as a wisp of hair falling over an eye could make his heart swell nearly to bursting.

“Felix? Felix!” Your voice cuts through his daze, and his eyes snap to yours, embarrassed.

“Sorry, just got, um—distracted.” Was Felix really the best he could come up with?

“Am I boring you?” you ask teasingly, the corners of your mouth tipping up. He looks into your eyes, sparkling with amusement, and finds that nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, he’s so overtaken by his thoughts that he blurts them out loud.

“N-no. No! Absolutely not! I think you’re fascinating—and so beautiful.” He curses his voice for whispering those last words, and averts his eyes in shame.

“You’re too kind,” comes your voice, soft but somehow makes the pounding of his heart even louder. “If it makes you feel any better, I think you’re quite handsome yourself.”

Years of lessons in diplomacy and etiquette have done absolutely nothing to prepare Five for the feeling that washes over him when you say those last few words. He has absolutely no idea how to respond, and the best his mind can come up with is a “really?”

“Yes,” you giggle, and he’s suddenly aware of just how close you are to him. You smell so nice, and the skin of your wrist is brushing his forearm—and next thing he knows, his fingers are flickering over yours, filling up the spaces in your hand. The look you give him is so beautiful that he wishes he had met you years ago so that it would already be ingrained in his mind.

Your head is nearing his shoulder now, and he’s afraid to breathe in case he ruins your descent. The moment your hair brushes against his neck, he hears his name from behind him. He whirls around to see Klaus with an enormous grin on his face.

“I see you’re enjoying yourself, brother,” he quips. “Unfortunately, dear old father has just about reached his limit with you. If you’re not on your throne in the next few minutes, he’s going to send some guards to find you.”

Five’s eyes are wide as he meets yours. “I’m so sorry. I can explain—“

“No, I apologize, your highness,” you say. “I’ve no doubt broken some sort of royal rule tonight.”

“You were perfect—you are perfect,” he whispers, shaking his head vehemently. “I will find you later tonight—I promise.”

Your smile is more precious than any title he’s been given. “Then I will wait for you—Felix.”

He presses a lingering kiss to your soft hand, unwilling to tear his eyes away from you. And, when he still doesn’t feel satisfied, he moves his lips to the tips of your fingers, your palm, your wrist. He’s only drawn away by the sound of Klaus clearing his throat pointedly.

And for the rest of the night, Klaus’ endless teasing and Reginald’s equally endless scolding are mere echos in his ears—his head is filled with only you.

[bowieandqueen11]

Revelations/ Five Hargreeves Imagine

Request: Could you do an imagine for Five Hargreeves with a reader that is as snarky and sarcastic as him, and they bicker a lot, but they both like each other and just won’t admit it. And one night she has a panic or anxiety attack and he’s the only one she thinks of to go to. And there could be a confession to each other. I LOVE your stories your my favorite person to come and read from! Your just awesome!! 

Thank you so much my dear @lizrobinson28 for sending this in, I’ve missed writing for Five! <3 This is an aged up imagine, where Five is around 18/9 and didn’t land in the Apocalypse!

Comments are much appreciated! 

You shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t have gone to Griddys, seen your ex, shouldn’t have come out tonight at all. Agnes, of course, bless her heart, had tried to calm you down, but it was too late. You had made the wrong decision.

Waiting outside the donut shop, you wait for Klaus to come and pick you up. It was the least he could do, he had told you that morning, for letting him bunk over at your place for the last few months. Glancing down at your watch, you sigh. He’s late, as usual, probably off somewhere getting high or smoking blunts with any friends he can find out on the streets this late. 

Struggling to catch your breath, the shivering cold of the night beginning to prick under your light jacket and pierce your skin like thousands of icicles, you do the only thing your mind can put together. The only place your thoughts can straggle together into one somewhat cohesive sense of directions. The sky is rolling blanket of cloud the colour of wet ash, and the ground its dank reflection. Each step becomes a prayer that he’s in while you walk.

The Umbrella Academy was the last place you wanted to be right now. The whole building, quite honestly, sent a chill down your spine, the stories Klaus had told you reminding something from out of your nightmares. Choosing instead to meet at Griddys, you had hoped you’d never have to set foot inside Sir Reginald Hargreeves’ halls again, or see some of the people that still lived inside. Yet something in your heart tugged towards Five’s window, as you hesitantly creep around to the side of the building near the bins. To be quite honest to yourself, the thought of him is the only thing stopping the coldness from chilling your bones, the only thing keeping your feet moving.Their hinges groan as you slightly push them out of the way, picking up a stone and trying to stop your hand from shaking as you stumble back up. Still trying to stifle down the beginnings of your panic attack, you pray your stupid best friend is in, and throw the stone at the window.

Finally, after what seems to be at least twenty minutes, his chipped window frame opens up, light from his amber desk lamp flickering out into the alleyway. His frown appears, a mop of raven dark hair falling over the edge until his wide eyes land on you.

‘What the hell do you want? Can’t you see I’m busy?’

‘W-will you just s... just shut up and let me in.’

His eyebrows furrow at the gasps you take to say your usual rebuttal, and he stands back as way of allowance. Climbing up the old, rickety ladder on the brick wall side of the building, you move towards the familiar glowing light and clamber in head first.

The bedroom was furnished on a meagre budget but if was full of a heartfelt warmth. The walls were still tarnished with childish wallpaper, leaning more towards yellow colour with age, with the single bed pushed up against the wall, a bed you had spent many nights pretending to annoy each other on. Although he would never admit it, as Five grabbed underneath your armpit and led you towards the bed, kicking his papers out of the way, you’re one of the only people he stills lets into his room.

‘You know, a call or something is always appreciated when you land head first into someone’s room. Especially this late at night.’

Placing your head between your knees, you barely feel his leg bump against yours as he sits down next to you. Clasping his hand together, he tries to stop his heart from fluttering against his breast as he frowns down at you.

‘Yeah, well, you can blame your brother for that.’

‘I don’t see him here, so I’m going to stick with blaming you.’

‘Look, if you didn’t want company, you didn’t have to let me in, so zip it Hargreeves.’

Five smirks, looking down at his twiddling thumbs to try and stop his cheeks from turning a hearty shade of beetroot.

‘Well, your company is one of the only one’s I actually enjoy.’

When Five stops talking, that’s when he knows there's a problem. He’s known you for nearly ten years now, and he knows you’re not capable of some sarcastic comment - that’s one of the things he likes most about you. Your fight, your passion, being one of the only people that can keep up and set him straight. The thing was, you couldn’t talk at that moment. Your words were crowded together and some felt like they were missing. Your sentences were fragmented and your thoughts seemed to jump from one thing to another. 

It was when you started hyperventilating, that Five reached out to touch your shoulder, hand shaking against his will. Before he knew it, your fingers are white-knuckled, holding onto his school blazer and asking him if everything will be okay. He doesn’t know what else to do, so he tell you yes. He tells you over and over, stroking your back and trying to calm you down, until he grabs on your hand and pulls you back over to the window, doing the only thing his brain could think of doing as well. Somehow, he remembered, that when he needed to figure out some equations away from his family, the roof was always the quietest place.

It’s nice to sit out here with someone else. The roof peaks directly above his bedroom window, making a corner the two of you can curl into, your head resting against his cheek, smushing it slightly. His breath is warm as he gingerly wraps an arm around your waist, letting it sit hesitantly against your hip.The two of you, for a moment in time, are one. Two souls bound together, lost in the breeze that caresses your faces, and the starlight dancing in the sky. The coldness of the slate tile and it's dampness seeps through the thin polyester trousers, but he finds for once, he doesn’t care one little bit. He’s still murmuring to you, soft little nothings or embarrassing stories about Diego or Luther, but you’re glad for them.

‘Trust me, if I tell you the story about Klaus and the chocolate pudding, that will make you laugh.’

When your breathing finally starts to slow, you shut your eyes, trying to figure out how you ended up here, with your best friend, and also the most annoying person you know’s arm wrapped around your waist and the other tentatively brushing against your hair. It was the calmest, the softest you had ever seen him. He was a bit forward, a little intrusive, but in the end, it was the only way he had been taught how to care under this roof. The tile starts to become cold under Five’s fingertips, and so he shuffles closer to you a little, both of his arms enveloping you, comforting and warm. In seconds your body is moulded to his own, sharing his body heat as easily as he, you realise, shares your heart. Little did you know, as Five glanced down at you with scared eyes, that he was sharing the same little revelation.

‘Y/n, I think I have to tell you something.’

‘What is it, Five.’

Your gaze slid to the side as he pulled you tighter against his chest. His nose tickled your ear as you gasped slightly at the intensity of his grip. Feeling his lips softly graze your neck, gently, like the tickle of a feather, almost not at all, you feel your face heat but you don’t pull away. Instead, you evened your breathing, summoning enough courage to meet his twinkling gaze. 

‘I think we both know. I think we have for a long time.’

‘I know, but I want you to say it.’

‘You always have to have the last word, don’t you?’, he says, laughing slightly, before bumping his chin against your forehead.

Looking up at the stars that burn infinitely over his head, he whispers,

‘I’m definitely in love with you, and for the first time in my life, I’m terrified.’

[dumdumsun]

Of Starlight

A/N: Enjoy ❤️

Warnings: mentions of blood

Word Count: 2541

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Chapter 13: The Day That Was

Allison placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder as she stared down at the paper. “Harold Jenkins?”

“Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?” Diego asked as Five took one last gulp of the coffee, throwing the cup to the side afterwards.

“I don’t know… yet. But I do know that he’s responsible for the apocalypse. So we have to find him. And we have to do it now.”

“But how is he connected to what’s gonna happen?” Luther asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Wait, so you just know his name? That’s it?” Diego walked past his siblings to get closer to Five.

“That’s enough.”

“There’s probably dozens of Harold Jenkinses in the city.”

“We have no other choice than to start looking, then.” (Y/N) sighed. Both Diego and Five turned to her, the former annoyed and the latter grateful. Allison sighed.

“I’m sorry, am I the only one that’s… skeptical here?” As she spoke, (Y/N) heard Five grunt. Bringing her attention back to him, she saw him checking his right side. “I mean, how exactly do you know all of this about what’s-his-name?”

Five looked up at her, ticked that she’d already forgotten the name. “Harold Jenkins. You know those lunatics in the masks who attacked the house?”

“Oh, yeah, I think I remember those guys.” Klaus’s sarcastic remark made (Y/N) mentally wince. Diego turned to him, also sarcastic.

“Yeah, the ones that attacked us,” He turned back to Five. “While you were getting drunk.”

“Well, he actually got drunk after-”

“(Y/N).”

“Right. Sorry…” She looked down as Five rolled his eyes at his brothers.

“Yeah. Them. They were sent by the Temps Commission to stop me from coming back and preventing the end of all life on earth.”

“The Temps what?” Allison crossed her arms.

“My former employer. They monitor all of time and space to make sure that whatever is supposed to happen… happens. They believe the apocalypse is coming in three days. So I went to Commission headquarters and intercepted a message that was meant for said lunatics. “Protect Harold Jenkins”. So he must be responsible for the apocalypse…”

Five let the information sink in for his siblings, which lasted for a few seconds, before they all erupted into overlapping exclamations, voicing their confusion and such. (Y/N) really couldn’t be bothered to listen to them as she focused on Five, the boy checking his side yet again. She slowly approached him as Allison spoke, “And do you have any idea how insane this sounds?”

“You know what else is insane?!” His head shot up to her, the corner of his lip twitching. (Y/N) halted her tracks beside him. “I look like a thirteen-year-old boy! Klaus talks to the dead, (Y/N) also looks like a kid with several versions of herself walking around, and Luther thinks he’s fooling everybody with that overcoat! Everything about us is insane. It always has been.”

“He’s got a point.” Klaus spoke up.

“We didn’t choose this life, we’re just living it. For the next three days, anyway.”

“But the last time we tried to stop it, we all died,” Allison raised her brows. “Why is this time any different? Why shouldn’t (Y/N) and I go home to our kids?” Her last question made the girl flinch. Five’s eyes were set on the two mothers.

“Because this time, I’m here. We have the name of the man responsible. Guys, we actually have the chance of saving the lives of billions of people,” His gaze and voice softened. “Including Claire.”

Allison hesitated. “You know her name?”

“I do. And I’d like to live long enough to meet her. Michael and Jada, too.” At this, (Y/N)’s heart bursted and she was sure she would’ve cried right then, had they been in different circumstances. Allison nodded and moved forward.

“Alright. Let’s get this bastard.”

“You had me at Gerald Jenkins.” Diego spoke.

“Harold Jenkins.” Five narrowed his eyes.

“Whatever. I’ve already lost two people this week, I’m not losing anyone else.” His words made (Y/N) smile, proud of her siblings for actually committing to this. She followed her brother as he began out of the room.

“And Luther?”

“Yeah, you guys go,” Luther’s words made everyone stop and stare at him. “I’m gonna stay and go through Dad’s files. I still think this has something to do with why he sent me to the moon.”

“Seriously?” Diego deadpanned. “Now you wanna make the end of the world about you and Dad?”

“No. ‘Watch for threats’. That’s what he told me. You think that’s a coincidence? This all has to be connected somehow.”

“Luther, we can’t really do this if we don’t have everyone. And we don’t really have the time to talk about it, either. We need to go now.” (Y/N) sighed.

“Exactly, let’s roll,” Diego nodded. “I know where we can find this asshole. Klaus, you’re with me.”

Klaus raised his head from where he was laying down. “Yeah. I-I’m good. I think I’ll, uh,” He stood up and began to leave. “I think I’ll pass, I’m… feeling a little under the weather, so, uh…” He was stopped momentarily when (Y/N) gently grabbed his arm, her eyes asking him what was wrong. He used his other arm to pat her head as he freed himself from her grasp, continuing out. She sighed in defeat as she followed Diego and Five out of the parlor. At the entrance, she stopped and turned to her sister.

“Ally, you coming?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m coming.” Her eyes slowly left Luther before she walked beside (Y/N) out of the house. After climbing into the backseats of the car, the two got comfortable right beside each other. As Diego drove off, the sisters leaned against each other’s bodies. (Y/N)’s head was tucked between Allison’s shoulder and neck, the woman’s head resting atop her sisters. It had been such a long time in which they comforted each other for something that didn’t involve losing someone they loved, one way or another. (Y/N) felt a sense of normalcy for simply cuddling with her sister in peace. Well, as much peace as they’ll get for a while.

The two removed themselves from each other once Diego pulled up to the police department and turned off the car. “I know this Jenkins dude has to have a record. We just gotta get our hands on the file.”

“So, what’s the plan? Bat your eyelashes and say please?” (Y/N) raised a brow, leaning forward. Diego looked at her through the rearview mirror with a sarcastic smile.

“You know you get funnier everyday? No, I know the station like the back of my hand, little sis,” His snarky comment earned him a light slap to the arm. “I’ve spent a lot of time inside.”

“Arrested…”

“Whatever. Here’s the plan.”

“Plan?” Five furrowed his brows at his brother. “I’m just gonna blink in and get the file.”

“No, that’s not… You don’t know the ins and outs of this place, okay-”

“I literally just did this yesterday.”

“What?”

“Well… My yesterday, not your yesterday… It’ll take me two seconds. Why don’t I just go?”

As the boys continued to decide who did what, (Y/N) leaned back and let Allison wrap an arm around her. “Boys…” They both shook their heads, slightly smiling at each other. After the decision was made to let Diego be a hero or leader or whatever he was this time, the four got out of the car. Allison had mentioned that she needed to make a call, so she, Five and (Y/N) headed to the nearest payphone. As she spoke on the phone, Five leaned with his back against the building behind them. (Y/N) was attached to his side, her arms looped with one of his and resting her head on his shoulder. He hadn’t minded the contact, but he did notice how clingy she had gotten since he returned. She constantly watched him with careful eyes, asked him multiple times if he was okay, and always wanted to assist him.

His head turned to her before he whispered close to her ear. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, you just… you seem different.”

“How?” She looked up with her brows knit together. Five wiggled the arm a bit that she held onto. “Oh… Yeah. I just missed you.”

He tilted his head at her. “I missed you, too…” And he meant it. These past couple of days have been filled with thoughts of (Y/N) for the boy. In the middle of dodging bullets shot by The Handler, going through multiple plans during his very small stay at the Commission, and playing the part of the obedient worker, his mind raced with thoughts of her. He never stopped wondering how she was doing, what she was doing, if she was thinking of him as well. It often distracted him and he’d get frustrated at himself. He’s already come to terms with the fact that he’s in love with her years ago. Why is this time any different? Maybe it was the way her thumbs gently rubbed the bicep of his sleeve or the way everything she did was so much more gentle. He wanted to think it was simply because she really did miss him, but he knew there was something more going on in that pretty head of hers.

As Allison hung up the phone, Diego rounded the corner to them. The teens lifted their heads and straightened their posture. “So?” Five watched as Diego raised a file in the air.

“You’re welcome.” He smugly smiled at (Y/N), who flipped him off as Allison snatched the file from him. They watched as she opened it and scanned the information inside, her eyes widening.

“Holy shit!”

“What?” Diego frowned. Allison held the information to them, a mugshot of the brunet Vanya had shown up with paperclipped to the file.

“Harold Jenkins is Leonard Peabody.” And with that revelation, only one thought crossed (Y/N)’s mind.

Ew.

-------------------------------------------------

Pulling up to Leonard Peabody’s house, the four got out of the car, walking through his lawn to get to the front door. Allison used her hand to block the sun from her eyes. “Be careful, okay? We don’t know what Peabody’s capable of.”

“Yeah, he didn’t seem dangerous when I first met him,” Diego replied. “Looked kinda scrawny.”

“Yeah, well, so are most serial killers and mass murderers. I mean, look at him.” She gestured to Five, who simply gave her a ‘thanks’.

“Good point. So what’s this guy want with Vanya?” He asked.

“I don’t know, why don’t we ask him after we kill him?” Five answered as (Y/N)’s eyes followed Allison, who ran to the back of the house. She looked between the boys and the direction her sister went before following the latter. Seeing her getting in through the backdoor, she smirked and cleared her throat. Allison quickly turned to her with wide eyes.

“You been here before, Ally?”

“Maybe once.” She cheekily smiled and opened the door. Stepping inside, they jumped a bit upon seeing Five already inside. He looked over when he heard the door open and close.

“Ah. So, we’re just waiting on our leader.” He gave a tight, close-lipped smile. Not too long after, the sound of glass shattering and someone groaning in pain could be heard. With a collective sigh, the three made their way to the front of the house, where Diego lay in shards of glass that were once a part of the door.

“Subtle.” Allison quipped as (Y/N) easily twisted the unlocked knob and opened the door.

“You know, the door was unlocked.” Five added as Diego painfully got up from the floor.

“Yeah, well, my way works just fine,” He strained through gritted teeth. “Spread out. Yell if you, uh… you know, you’re in trouble.” When he was out of the room, Five scoffed.

“Aspiring leadership.”

“One of the greats.”

“Love his work.” (Y/N) finished as she walked into the living room, Five right behind her. The boy glanced over his shoulder to see Diego was now in the kitchen. Figuring they were as alone as they could be, he joined (Y/N) at the coffee table, the girl looking through the papers stacked on top.

“Hey… You sure you’re okay?” He whispered, the girl not answering for a few beats.

“I’m fine, Five. Just trying to prevent an apocalypse like anyone else around here.” She joked. His concerned orbs didn’t leave her until Allison called for them to come upstairs. Quickly, the three bounded up the stairs and then the ladder that lead to the attic. The sight before her caused (Y/N) to fall dead silent. It was like an Umbrella Academy shrine. Old merchandise, posters, and figurines littered the room, only that wasn’t the unsettling part. All of their faces, even Reginald’s, were crossed out from the posters and burnt off from the figurines.

“This guy’s got some serious issues…” Diego quietly muttered. He and Five both muttered a ‘shit’, but the boy’s sounded more wavering. (Y/N) turned to see him breathing heavily and checking his side yet again.

“Five?” She whispered, gently holding his shoulder. His eyes were half lidded when they met hers and she began to panic. Just as Allison came to the conclusion that Vanya’s boyfriend was out for their family, Five fainted. (Y/N) yelped and caught him before he could hit the ground. Allison and Diego turned to them as the girl sat on her knees, letting the back of Five’s head rest on her thighs. Allison lifted his shirt to reveal the bullet wound in his side, blood seeping from it.

“Jesus, Five, why didn’t you say anything?” Diego widened his eyes. Five groaned as (Y/N) gripped one of his hands in hers.

“You have to keep going…,” He faintly whispered. “So… close…” His words trailed off when he fell unconscious. (Y/N) shakily inhaled as she gently patted his cheek with her free hand.

“Five? Five?! Five!” She screamed, tears filling her (e/c) eyes. “No, come on, Five! Stay awake!” She hit his cheek a bit harder, the boy’s eyes cracking open the slightest bit right before Diego and Allison both picked him up. She was close behind them and assisted in opening and closing doors. Once they were all piled into the car, with her and Five in the back, they began to drive off.

“The Academy…” Five muttered in his haze.

“W-What?” (Y/N) sniffled.

“We need to go to the house…”

“Five, we need to get you to a hospital! We don’t have Grace anymore.”

“The house, Diego…” Five demanded despite himself. Diego shook his head, but listened to his brother and changed the route to their house. (Y/N) sighed in frustration and glanced down at Five. He was drifting in and out of consciousness and she was right there to wake him up if he fell asleep. Her other hand gently ran through his dark strands as she tried to hold in her sobs.

Not this again.

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Taglist: @nate-isnt-great @43sparrows @sapphicsyn @m00n-sh @starcurrent @alexander-hamilhoe @youcandalekmyballs @wonderlandfandomkingdom @yrdadjstcallsmekatya @narikyuwu @sm0kingcrack @a-t-h-r-e-e-n-a @moatsnow @bubblegumflamingos @call-me-starstorm @rev-enviadhell

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA MEAN GIRLS AU

(please understand that by AU, I mean they share an incredibly small amount of things in common with the original source material which I barely remember BUT the “story” takes place in the setting of the film) (not to be misleading or anything :p)

(BEWARE: abuse, bribery, immoral deals, bullying, homophobia, outing, transphobia, violence, abortion, teen pregnancy, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Regina) Five is the king of this school, and he has no plans to give up that position. He needs it to protect his people, as few and far between as they are, and himself, if he’s honest - he’s a trans and ace-aro kid in platonic love with the health class mannequin who he calls Dolores. Ruling with fear is basically all he can do. While he’s mean, you’ll soon realize that everything he says is more of a blunt observation that will improve your life if you just heed his advice. He doesn’t respect almost anybody - not the jocks, theatre geeks, nerds, cheerleaders, band kids - no one. However, if he does respect you, you have his trust and protection. And as a thirteen-year-old genius who only takes advice from always-slightly-drunk art teacher Agnes, his protection is pretty damn valuable: the last person who tried to hurt one of his people will never walk again. Leonard Peabody - he assaulted Vanya, and he paid. Five beat him to the point of hospitalization without getting a single speck of blood or bruise on himself, and Leonard’s the one who walked away in handcuffs. Do not fuck with any of Five’s people, or you have to fuck with Five. And you do not want to fuck with Five.

(Gretchen) Vanya is quiet and subdued, to the point where people question how she’s a part of the school’s most popular trio. If you talk to her for long enough though, it becomes clear: she knows any and everybody’s secrets. She writes for the school paper, and is known to write the stories her subjects don’t want anyone else to find out about. Like Diego, who she outed as bisexual last year to throw people off the trail of her own secret relationship with Sissy, earning her an ex-girlfriend and an ex-friend. She’s been trying to win Diego’s forgiveness ever since, but he won’t talk to her, returning every single one of her letters and gifts. (He’s blocked her number and all of her socials, which she only created to talk to him anyway.) She doesn’t know why Five keeps her around - Klaus loves to gossip, but Five never seems to want any of her secrets. She’s pleasantly surprised to find out that he apparently actually enjoys her company. (What?)

(Karen) Klaus is a fucking mess. He plays the dumb blonde (well, brunette) despite being a genius in his own right, even if he’s not at Five’s level. (To be fair, he’s pretty sure no one is.) He’s a drag queen on the weekends, a hangover from his time in the mafia gang, which he joined with his boyfriend Dave for six months after running away from home. Dave died in a gunfight, and Klaus has been fucked up (well, more than usual) ever since. Anorexia, PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation, the works. But as lonely as he is, addicted to a fuckton of hard drugs and liquors to cope, he’s still an alluring, aloof, and bubbly popular girl, wearing pink skirts and glittery heels and leather corset crop tops to school every day. No matter how much his father Reginald beats him for it, he keeps being himself, because he’s brave and because even if Reginald hates him, someone far more important loves him… Diego. Diego, who Klaus has kissed under a million stars and in the lollipop shop down the road and on top of a cafeteria table. Diego, who Klaus has chased through the rain and into the street without rest or hesitation. Diego, whose words and promises and scribbles are immortalized on Klaus’ skin for all to see. Diego, who Klaus will love no matter how much bigotry they encounter or dickwads they’re beat up by or miles they put between them. Diego, Klaus’ ex-boyfriend.

(Cady) Allison is the new girl, and she has plans for the advantage being underestimated has brought her. She challenges Five on her first day there, earning his respect, and joins his group at the urgings of Klaus and Vanya, who like her company. A fashion queen, she acts as though she’s unfazed by any and everything, but nobody knows her true heartbreak - she still writes letters to a girl back home. Allison was expelled from her Christian private school for falling in love with a girl named Natalie, who she kissed in janitors’ closets and who she beat up racist and homophobic blondes for. She has no tolerance for bullies, and yet becomes one under Five’s guidance - until she upends his reign as queen bee and signs her death warrant. (Though she later finds out he was more angry at her for stealing Klaus and Vanya’s affection than his popularity.) Now her only hope for happiness in her final days is Ray, the Shakespeare-quoting nerd in her English class… or Luther, the quiet dork in the Star Trek t-shirts in her math class. Fuck, she misses Natalie.

(Aaron) Luther is the posterboard for toxic masculinity. He’s on the football team but hates it, preferring his math tutoring and fantasy books to tackling drills. His bisexuality is his deepest secret - he once slept with Diego when they were drunk at a party after a football game, and he can’t get it out of his head. He keeps thinking about what might happen if somebody found out - would he be shunned like Diego? Trapped like Vanya? Plastic like Klaus? He doesn’t know. All he can do is continue to be kind and hope Allison loves him enough to love every part of him, beyond his good lucks and British accent and fucking Ray. So Luther stands up to Five, and pays the price. He compliments Klaus on his skirts, and pays the price. (Diego seems to simultaneously love and hate him for it, it’s confusing.) He holds the door open for Ben, and pays the price. He’s big enough to be scary, kind enough to be overlooked - but after that incident with Vanya, everyone looks at him like he’s a monster to be locked up. And soon enough, “star student” Luther, “teacher’s pet” Luther, “completely under the principal’s thumb and completely friendless and completely terrified of the world around him” Luther might just break under all that pressure.

(Janis) Diego is the school’s resident outcast and rebel punk - he wears skirts and fishnets and whatever the fuck he wants because if Klaus taught him anything when they were dating it was that gender is a construct and he looks hot in leather. They broke up when Diego was outed and Klaus chose to stay quiet when people started shunning Diego for it, but despite it all, Diego still loves him. He misses when they used to paint their nails together, because he has to paint his own now. They used to stare up at the stars together and fall asleep in the grass, curled up in each other, on the nights that Klaus would run away in terror from his dad and Diego would breathe with him and let him press his hand against his heart until Klaus’ panic died down. His heart still flutters when he sees Klaus smile around a lollipop… but he won’t take him back. He won’t. He just can’t forgive him. So instead, he talks to his mom about everything. He plays soccer with his sister Eudora. He paints shit while smoking weed with his best friend Lila. He thinks of Luther being scared of him and laughs. You know, he was almost in Allison’s position freshman year - Five loved him, and so did Klaus and Vanya, but then Vanya outed him to the whole school for no reason like a day before he and Klaus were going to come out together. And now they’re all estranged, and Diego has the strangest feeling that he’s lost his family, even though his mom is the only real family he’s ever known. But maybe he’s wrong. Because Klaus keeps sending him “anonymous” letters, leaving them on the porch and spilling secrets Diego never even would’ve imagined him having. But forgiveness is still a question - that is, until one day Diego gets a letter in a different handwriting: Five’s, telling him to man the fuck up and love Klaus before he kills himself trying to tear the stars down for Diego’s own personal pleasure, and suddenly, Diego is crying on his porch in the rain, missing a slender, sassy skeleton in his arms and a pink, bruised but unbroken heart in his chest.

(Damien) Ben is everyone’s favorite, and the kindest person in the world. He used to be Klaus’ best friend, but that ended when Ben got into an accident (there was a bus involved, that’s all you need to know) that landed him in a wheelchair and Klaus couldn’t deal with the mental pain it caused him. They still stare at each other longingly from across the cafeteria, but never say a word to each other, not even in class. But beyond Klaus, Ben has never had any friends, though he has a million aquaintances: he’s the only student in the school that everyone loves and respects. Five holds the door for him, though Ben can tell without having to ask that Five would rather nobody know that. He hangs out with Diego because he knows Diego’s lonely, even if he never wants to admit it. He advises Allison not to let anyone control her, telling her he knows Natalie from summer camp and that the deaf girl still loves her and reads every single one of her letters. He gives Vanya his lunch when she skips to cry in the gym after Diego yells at her, even though a part of him might think she deserves it sometimes. He plays sports with Luther after school and offers him an ear and some jokes about his problems, and a few touchdowns when he’s feeling good. He acts as Ray’s student consultant, because he knows how hard Ray works to treat him like an equal. He tutors Eudora in basically everything, but cuts study sessions short to play video games when he can tell she’s too stressed to think. He’s ace and pan and proud about it; he runs the school’s GSA; he defends Diego and uses the right pronouns for Lila when they’re alone without Lila ever having to him he’s trans. He bugs Reginald’s office in one of their many meetings and records enough conversations to get him fired when he tries to expel Five. And finally, karma rewards him - Klaus shows up at his house with a box of brownies he baked himself, all covered in smiley faces, and shoves them into Ben’s hands, shaking his head when Ben assumes they’re for Diego. I miss you, Klaus tells him, and Ben tugs him down into a kiss, pulling away with a stammered apology. I’m sorry, he blushes, and Klaus beams, leaping into his lap and hugging him closer than ever, the two of them queerplatonic partners from then on, forever linked by their fingers in the hallway. Happy. Finally.

Lila is the shy artsy kid who carries around one of those leather brown satchels that looks threatening but is really just code for “I think I’m too cool for a backpack so I stuff all my incorrect homework and favorite comic books into this sack of knockoff pig skin instead”. He’s covered in paint most of the time, and wears Alice in Wonderland combat boots and Sharpie-doodle-covered jeans and big black hoodies and soft grey beanies; he’s trans and hacked off his own hair until an undercut with choppy slash bangs and there’s pink streaks in them, of course, to match the bubblegum he’s always chewing. His nails are bitten and black, and his skin is decorated with tattoos that are almost exclusively Bo Burnham quotes, with the exception of Diego’s name right over his heart. (Diego has Lila’s name over his too - and Klaus’ and Eudora’s, though he’d never tell them that.) He gives his skirts to Klaus and gets along well enough with Five, them both being trans and all, and everyone else knows him as that kid who’ll spread rumors and steal things for bribes. It’s not like he can get in more trouble than he’s already in - he lives with his bigoted and abusive bitch of a mom. But Diego is his best friend - the one he shoots and stabs things with, the one whose ex-boyfriend he talks to because Diego will never admit to himself that he misses Klaus like he would his own lungs if they were torn from his chest, the one whose sister he’s in love with. Wait. Fuck. Oops.

Eudora is Diego’s sister, and the captain of the soccer team. She wears her red jersey with the white numbers to school every day, and is covered in tattoos of magical creatures, because she believes in all of them. She wishes she was a werewolf, and has dressed up as one every year for Halloween since she was ten. (And she’s let anyone dressed a werewolf give her a hickey just in case that turned her. It’s good to have all your bases covered.) She has a broken down pick-up truck named Travis-Trevor-Thomas-literally-any-other-T-name that she loves beyond belief, and drives Diego to and from school in it, though he grumbles about it every day. She eats lunch with him even though he insists he’s fine eating alone and wants her to go away, because she knows he’s lying, and she hangs around the GSA with him sometimes too. She’s lab partners with her brother’s “secret” ex-boyfriend, and is concerned by how quiet he is - she’s seen enough documetaries to know that quiet never means anything good. But unfortunately, she has her own academic drama to deal with - Hazel and Cha-Cha hate her for helping Klaus, and she hates them right back, leading to failing grades in both English and history no matter how brilliant her work is. Mostly, though, Eudora tries to get to know Lila - the pretty, angry, sarcastic emo boy she shares half her classes with, and flirts with every day despite how he ignores her. (ONLY because Lila still smiles and laughs every time she flirts with him, and Eudora knows from Diego that Lila thinks Eudora only flirts with him because it’s some sort of game of “if you get the guy who’s hard to get you win the hundred dollar bet” deal. Otherwise she would’ve backed off immediately because not doing so would be harassment.) Eventually, though, Eudora runs off-field in the middle of a soccer game and over to the stands to ask Lila to prom. Finally, she gets a yes - and, most importantly, a real smile, curled against her own mouth like a Cupid’s bow of promise.

Sissy is Vanya’s ex-girlfriend, and Fuckwad Carl’s current girlfriend. She hooked up with him after breaking up with Vanya, too drunk to even speak, and now her belly’s ballooning and her parents are gonna kick her out unless she marries him like a good Christian woman. And she really didn’t expect herself to tell them to fuck off for this one, but apparently lesbianism makes you do crazy things - so here she is, standing on Ray’s porch in the pouring rain and hoping for the best. She’s depressed and shows that by reading the Bronte sisters; Klaus opens the door for her and brings her notes with doodles all over them which makes her cry; she misses Vanya but hates her for what she did to Diego. And yet Vanya’s there when she goes to the abortion clinic, smiling and joking and holding her hand like always. One day she’ll have a baby and she and Vanya will raise it right, but fuck - that baby sure as hell won’t be Carl’s. (Because fuck that guy.)

Ray is a humanitarian, so, naturally, he’s also the student council president. Five has never mistreated him, because everyone loves and respects Ray, even his critics. He nurtures Allison’s intelligence and encourages Vanya’s musical habits. He tutors Klaus in basically every subject but never talks down to him because he knows the kid’s a genius, just a bit spacey from all the drugs (and the ADHD, let’s be honest). He helps bring Luther out of his shell and takes Lila out shopping for boy clothes, all of which he pays for himself. He’s not scared or offended by Diego’s sarcasm or intensity, instead greeting him every day in class with a new dad joke. He treats Ben to intelligent conversation like an equal and doesn’t let Five be so harsh he’ll regret it later, though he still lets him say what he means and be himself. Everybody knows he’ll be the real President one day - even if for now he wears pajamas to school every day because, in his words, “Clothes are just too much fuckin’ work, man.” (There’s a possibility he may have still been high from hanging out with Klaus that day.)

The Handler is the evil physics teacher. (I don’t know why I said evil clearly all science teachers are evil.) (Yes this is coming from a place of aggression but hey at least I recognize that.) (Plus he deserves it. So fuck you.) (*sticks tongue out*) (Don’t you see how mature I am?) (I’m sorry I’m sorry back to your regularly scheduled programming -) She’s Lila’s mom, and continually and constantly misgenders him (and Five!) in class, not even because she hates trans people, just because she hates him (and Five!). Five always challenges her dictatorial rule, refusing to participate in solidarity with Klaus when she forces Klaus to sit out for wearing skirts. She keeps trying to flunk Ray too, the little bitch, but he just keeps doing so well that she can’t even come up with a falsely plausible reason to fail him! She’s been bribing Hazel and Cha-Cha to flunk certain students for years, unaware that Lila has been stealing from the Handler’s own purse to double those prices for those students to ace their classes. Everybody hates her, and for good reason. I hope she gets fired. (Shut up and let me project onto fictional characters, assholes.)

Reginald is the evil principal and Klaus’ abusive dad. He sends Klaus to school every day in a boys’ “uniform”, which Klaus has to change out of in the bathroom every day with borrowed clothes from Allison. (Anything he owns lives at her house; they have an agreement.) Once Klaus forgot to wash off his nail polish before Reginald came home and he broke all of Klaus’ fingers one by one. (Agnes wants to beat him into dust with a rolling pin.) Klaus stays at Diego’s house a lot, though Klaus refuses to come after they break up even though Diego makes it clear that his door will always be open. Five, therefore, is super protective of Klaus - every time he comes over, he’s super respectful when Klaus is in the room and then verbally rips Reginald to shreds as soon as he’s gone. He once stayed over for an impromptu sleepover when he noticed that Klaus was terrified-ly coming up with more and more ridiculous excuses for Five to stay and not leave him alone with Reginald, and as soon as Klaus was asleep, tiptoed around the house to set up bugs and cameras he got from Ben. He gives all of the evidence to Eudora to deliver to the police, who arrest Reginald and leave him to rot in a cement cell for the rest of his sorry fucking life while Klaus goes on to live Happily Ever After because fuck you and your stupid as shit traditionalism and inhumane experiments you lying scheming fuckwad of a psychopathic monster toad.

Hazel is the exhausted English teacher. His secret? He hates every book he teaches. Also he’s been taking bribes from the Handler and Lila because teachers don’t get paid enough in our society. Also his wife Agnes of twenty years divorced him a year ago for the whole bribery situation and he’s been sleeping in his car and using the school’s facilities to appear fine. Yeah, Hazel’s a mess. ANYWAY - Five is the only one who seems to know what’s going on, and Hazel would like to keep it that way. He knows Klaus is a genius with words but doesn’t know how to tell him that, and he knows Diego’s favorite book is Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen and has agreed to take that secret to his grave. (What, it’s a good book!) His class is the only place Diego and Klaus dare to interact, and he’s noticed - they often pair up for assignments and take to the floor or beanbags in the corner, often cuddling up and giggling over whatever book or assignment they’ve been sent off to read or do. Hazel also has another hopeless couple he teaches, Lila and Eudora - eventually Hazel starts leaving Lila’s sappy poems about Eudora on Eudora’s desk when she comes in for her own class (separate from Lila’s) because there is no other way those two idiots are getting together, let’s be honest. There’s just too much communication. Mostly Hazel misses his own wife, Agnes - but he’s been out of luck since he cashed it in with the science department, hot cocoa whore that he is.

Cha-Cha is the history teacher, and she has all the sass and dry sarcasm required for that job. She will beat a bitch up for telling her she can’t teach critical race theory, and plays Drunk History and Overly Sarcastic Productions in her class basically every day. She doesn’t believe in tests because if she did she’d have to grade them, and she likes animated kids’ movies and TV shows, especially Paw Patrol and Sofia the First. (Yes, obviously she’s single. She’s also ace-aro, so who the fuck cares.) She takes the Handler and Lila’s bribes because she runs an underground wrestling ring and would like to continue feeding her pitbulls gourmet food. The only kid she’s truly on edge with is Five, who often challenges her in debates - she can’t decide if she’s impressed or enraged about it. Whatever. School’s out, bitches.

Agnes is the art teacher who knows everything about everybody. All of her art is of donuts. (Of course.) She’s a damn good cook, especially of pizza - and donuts. (Naturally.) She always has munchkins available for her students - and donuts! (She always saves the chocolate glazed and jelly ones for Five and Klaus.) She likes to rap explicit beats in her car and play her music so loud it shakes the ground and you can hear it from miles away. (Obnoxious.) So she doesn’t restrict her kids’ projects because that’s not what art is about. (And because it would make her a hypocrite, obviously.) Sure, she divorced Hazel, but hey - she’s living her best life, and eventually he’ll come to his senses and come crawling back to her at three a.m. to badly lipsync a Justin Bieber song about missing her, and she’ll leap out the window into his giant hairy arms and kiss him on his ginormous teddy bear face. Because Agnes, at heart, is a hippy. (And that’s love, bitch.)

Grace is Diego and Eudora’s (and everybody’s!) mom. She goes out for drinks with Agnes on the weekends and to clubs with Pogo every Friday (the librarian/unofficial therapist who acts as her mouthpiece when Diego does something stupid and won’t listen to her advice, the moron). She’s kind to everyone, but takes no one’s bullshit: you hurt her kids, you die. Important Notice: Everybody Is Her Kid. So be kind to everyone, dickwads. Well - except Reginald. And the Handler. Both of whom she bitchslaps for mistreating her precious babies. She then takes in Klaus because Diego loves him, and Ben because Klaus loves him, and Lila because both Diego ad Eudora love him. The only reason she didn’t take in Sissy was because Ray already had her taken care of. She’s a literal angel sent from heaven and we should all be worshipping her like the goddess she is I’m sorry I don’t know when this became Grace Appreciation Day™ but hey I’m here for it and I have no regrets.

[vigilantesanonymous]

clean - klaus hargreeves

Diego is your best friend, and he asks you for your help, the one and only favor he’s ever asked of you. The catch? It involves helping his addict brother get clean.

Warnings: addiction, alcohol, mentions of an abusive relationship

Word count: 4900

***

A favor. That’s all that Diego mentioned in his text about why I oh so urgently needed to meet up with him. That’s Diego though, curt, short, and to the point. Elaboration was not his strong suit, never had been. 

“You need to get a real place to live, Diego,” I say, looking around the cramped room that reeks of sweaty dudes and menthol muscle cream. “I mean who are you, Rocky Balboa?”

“Hey, I’m doin’ just fine. Mind your own business,” he snarks, obviously butthurt that I don’t revel in the aesthetic of living in a gym as much as he does. “I asked you here to see if you could do a favor for me,” he says, his tone suddenly shifting to serious. “It’s about my brother.”

Diego Hargreeves, in my years of knowing him, has never talked about his family. I know they exist, from all the splashes in old newspapers about the Umbrella Academy. But he would be damned before actually speaking about any of them. Any time that I tried to tease out some information about the strange family that Diego was apart of, he clammed up, changing the subject to literally anything else. So the fact that he wanted to ask me a favor involving his brother had me start to wonder if Diego had been replaced by a clone, a carbon copy of the man who had erased his family from his life. 

“Which one?” I ask, slightly confused. “One, four, five, or six?”

“Klaus,” he responds. “I um, I really need your help with him.” Diego rubs at his forehead, his go-to body language for when he’s stressed. “This isn’t easy for me to ask you this, but you’re my closest friend and the only person that I really would trust with him. My brother Klaus is a drug addict, and he got caught, again, buying pills off of some loser. I’ve tried talking to him, talked about getting clean and sober, I know a few of our other siblings have talked to him, but nothing sticks. He just won’t listen to us,” Diego says through gritted teeth. “He’s in jail right now, and I’ve been talking to the ADA to see if they’ll let him out easy if he gets clean. But they’re being really strict about it, and they won’t let him out unless someone really helps him get clean. They’re going to make him get checked weekly, make sure nothing new is in his system. It’s going to be rough.”

“So where do I fit into all of this?”

“That’s what I’m getting to.” Diego has never been one to ask for favors, especially not one this grave, and I can tell it’s painful for him to get the words out. “You’re one of the most kind, patient, loyal people I know. If anyone can help Klaus kick this, it’s you. So, I’m asking you if you’ll help my brother get sober.” 

“Diego Hargreeves,” I sigh heavily. I didn’t know on my walk over here that I would be enlisted to become a one woman sobriety clinic, but I owe Diego my life. So anything that he asks of me, I’ll do it.

“I know it’s a lot that I’m asking of you,” he starts, but I cut him off with a shake of my head.

“You know I can’t say no to you, you bastard,” I chuckle softly. “I’ll help your brother. I can’t say that I’m going to succeed, seeing as he sounds like he’s a real pain in the ass, but I’ll help you.”

Diego reaches out and smothers me in one of his rare hugs. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou,” he breathes, giving me a final squeeze. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”

“Don’t thank me just yet,” I note. “Let’s get your brother out of jail first.”

~~~

Klaus has himself flung dramatically over the bench in the cell, his skinny arms flung to either side of him. Well- it must be Klaus because he’s the only one in the cell. I notice that he has a few tattoos, and more than his fair share of puncture holes around the inside of his elbow. His outfit it… Excentric. A crop top and pants so tight they might as well be painted on him. 

“Get up, asshole,” Diego barks.

Klaus looks over lazily, his energy shifting as he sees his brother. He bolts upright, a grin lighting up his features. “You’ve come to rescue me!” He cries as soon as his eyes fall onto Diego. He then turns to me, his expression becoming more coy. “Well Diego, I didn’t know you were going to bring your side piece. I would have cleaned myself up more for a proper introduction.”

Diego and I both look at each other, disgusted. “There’s no way-” “We’re not fucking-” We say at the same time, which only amuses Klaus more.

“Why’s she here then?”

“She’s going to get you sober,” Diego says with a devilish smirk. 

“Ah, so she’ll be my keeper then,” Klaus grins. 

Diego rolls his eyes. “Look, she’s a good friend of mine, so if you try to pull any bullshit with her-”

“You’ll skin me alive or something like that. Whatever, Knife-Boy.” Klaus dismisses Diego with a wave of his hand. 

“Promise me.”

Klaus raises his right hand, cocking his hip to the side. “I promise, okay? Scouts honor. I will be a delightful little cherub and do nothing except focus on becoming squeaky clean and sober.”

“Good. You better.” Diego gives Klaus a knowing glance before turning back to me. “Okay, he’s in your custody. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do,” I agree, swinging my keys around on my finger. “Alrighty Klaus, let’s get going.”

Klaus and I walk out into the crisp autumn air towards my car in the jail’s dinky parking lot. Despite the weather, Klaus was arrested in a crop top and sinfully tight black leather lace up pants. He shoves his hands in his pockets, goosebumps littering his arms. He shivers slightly. “If it gets any more cold out here, my nips might show.”

I laugh and shake my head at him, unlocking the door to my car. “That’s inappropriate. I’ll have to get you a change of clothes; I run a modest household,” I tease. 

“Oh wonderful, I can’t wait for our stay together to begin, then,” Klaus says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m surprised that my brother hasn’t tried to steal this car from you,” he notes as he swings himself into the passenger seat. “I don’t know a whole lot about cars, but this looks a hell of a lot better than that shitty vintage beater he’s got.”

“I know,” I reply. I drive a white ‘72 Ford Mustang, and on more than one occasion Diego has commented on how pretty my car is. I stick the key in the ignition, the roar of the engine a sound that never ceases to comfort me. 

“So what’s the plan?” Klaus asks me. He starts toying with the knobs for the radio, switching from one station to the next. “Find a sleazy hotel, snort some coke, have wild sex?” His eyes glitter with mischief as he says this.

“Yeah, don’t you wish,” I retort. 

Klaus huffs, folding his arms and slouching down in the passenger seat to pout. “Well you’re no fun,” he sighs. “Can we at least get some cigarettes and take out for dinner?”

“Why don’t we establish some ground rules instead?” I suggest, laughing as he groans loudly from his spot in the passenger seat. 

~~~

Something I learned very quickly was how feisty Diego’s brother is. Klaus did not take to sobriety well, and made it very clear and is very vocal that he was not going to get clean without a fight. Within the first day, he had cleared through all the liquor I had stored under my bathroom sink (for when I was having a rough day myself). He was suspiciously quiet for how talkative he had been in the car, which made me nervous. And low and behold, when I went into his room to check on him, he was laying on the floor, giggling to himself and reeking of whiskey. I dragged him to the bathroom and forced him to puke (“Kinky,” he slurs as I hold his head up by the hair. “You know, you’re sexy when you take charge like this. Maybe pull my hair a little harder,” he jeers, clearly enjoying making me flustered by flirting with me. “You having fun? This won’t be so funny in a second, smartass,” I snap. Klaus thought it was a great joke until I shoved my fingers down his throat and he starts purging himself of all my booze). 

That was the other thing: the relentless flirting. Whether he was sassy, or he wanted something, or wanted to throw me off guard, or even when he was in one of his sweeter moods, Klaus would always make some kind of remark that never failed to make me blush. After a few days, I should have grown accustomed to it, expected if from him even. But I didn’t, and every time he would say how hot it was that I was taking charge and keeping him from downing as many pills as possible to get high, or when he was shaking and barely coherent and suggesting a sexual exchange in order to get his fix, I would find myself red in the face. I tried to shake it off and chalk it up to him just buttering me up so that he could get what he wanted, but it didn’t always seem that way. Sometimes I would catch him staring at me for a beat too long, his usually mischievous look replaced with something softer. I didn’t really know what to make of it. 

“Ah, there she is!” Klaus cries as I walk in the door. He pops up from the couch a little too quickly for my liking for his current state. He’s so close to being done with the ugly stage of withdrawal- the shaking, sweating, screaming in your sleep and calling me a bitch because I wouldn’t get him something to get high with- stage. It’s made him a little worse for wear; he’s shaky and lightheaded because of the lack of drugs in his body. Only a day or two more and it should be out of his system completely. “My little angel! Did you get any snacks for our movie night?”

I feel my face heat up as I root through the convenience store bag for his cigarettes. “Yeah, and I got you a present too.” I hold them out to him, Klaus eagerly snatching them up like a child on Christmas Day. 

“Oh, bless you and your beautiful face,” he says gratefully. 

“They’re for us to share,” I say as I dump out the contents of the bag onto the counter. Smoking is the only vice that Klaus and I share. Klaus makes fun of me for it, saying that I smoke for the aesthetic of it, whereas he smokes because he’s an addict. I actually picked up smoking to temper my anxiety- the ritual of taking a drag, forcing myself to breathe slowly and surely helps calm me down a lot. 

Klaus leans against the counter, lighting up a cig. He takes a deep drag, letting the smoke tumble from his lips. I stand mesmerized as I watch it tangle through the curls in his hair to the ceiling. The slight tremble from his hands stills as he absorbs the nicotine, and I see as the tension starts to ooze out of him. He takes a few more drags before offering it to me. 

“I really can’t thank you enough,” he says as I take a puff of my own. “That nicotine really hit the spot.” He shuffles over to me and gives me a quick peck on the cheek, his facial hair tickling my face as he does. “A token of my appreciation.”

I giggle, playfully blowing smoke at him. “I’m glad I could make your day, Klaus.”

“Well, there’s always something you could do to make my day,” he grins, giving a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows. He hoists himself onto the counter, feet dangling. He positions himself over me so he can see what else I grabbed for us. Giggling softly to himself, he leans back lazily as he watches me put things away in the kitchen. “Yeah, I’m pretty easy to keep happy. Smokes, yummy food, and someone to love me.”

Before I could respond, my phone started ringing. Diego, probably prompting me for another update on Klaus’ sobriety. I mentally scream, annoyed that I can’t seem to ever get to the bottom of Klaus’s flirting. Reluctantly, I walk down the hall to answer the phone, wishing the whole time I just would get the courage to deny the call and see what Klause really means. 

*

“Star China is absolute trash,” Klaus says, shaking his head. “I refuse to eat it. We should get takeout from that place that’s called Little Hong Kong or something. Their egg rolls?” He kisses his fingers, blowing it towards me. “Absolute perfection.”

I can never beat Klaus with his antics. They definitely have added to my experience of living with him. He always finds a way to overembelish an interaction, which keeps me on my toes. “Fine, we’ll get your fucking takeout place,” I say with a laugh. “But I want noodles.”

“Wait! I want noodles!” Klaus whines. “Can I have some too?” 

Klaus and I take a few minutes to negotiate what to order, Klaus perched over my shoulder as he reads the menu. His breath tickles my neck, causing my heart to start beating out of control. 

I pay for delivery, Klaus hopping up and down behind me as I gather all the food from our driver and shut the door with my hip. “Thank God,” Klaus moans. “I’m starving. I mean, I could practically wither away with how hungry I am.”

“Oh, shut up,” I laugh. “I feed you. It isn’t my fault that you choose not to eat vegetables.”

He snatches one of the boxes of takeout from me, grabbing a fork and heading for the couch. 

“Hey! Where are you going?”

“I like to be comfy when I eat!” Klaus calls back, already shoveling food into his mouth.

I roll my eyes. He’s always distracted by something, whether it’s Ben talking to him or the TV, which causes him to get crumbs everywhere. But he’s already rooted himself to the corner of the couch, his feet tucked underneath of him as he devours his chicken lo mein. 

“Okay,” I agree, setting the other food down on the coffee table. “But if I find any crumbs someone is picking them all up, and it’s not going to be me.”

“Ben?” Klaus asks, pointing to the chair across from him.

“That’s kind of rude to pin the chores on your dead brother,” I retort. 

“Don’t back him up!” Klaus cries, which only makes me laugh more. I decide to sit down next to him, making it easier for us to share food. Well, that, and I will take any excuse to be close to Klaus. “I was planning on sharing some of this, but now I’m not going to,” he huffs defiantly.

“Oh, come on Klaus. Please?” I lean against him, hoping that batting my lashes will win him over. 

Klaus stops for a second, taking me in. He looks me over and grins, jumping back into his character. “Oh, fine. I can’t say no to a girl as pretty as you.” He twirls some noodles around on his fork, holding it up to feed me some. 

I take the food from him, positioning myself so I’m leaning against him slightly. Klaus moves some of the cushions so that I’m leaning more on him than I am on them. He takes advantage of the way we’re sitting to steal a piece of shrimp from me, his eyes twinkling with delight as I turn to look at him, but I don’t call him out for it. 

“Y’know, out of all of my siblings, I could argue that Diego is the least conversational,” Klaus notes as we sit nestled together on the couch. “So how on earth did a nice girl like you become friends with such a hard ass like him?”

I pick at my noodles, moving them by pushing them into a pile and then placing one on top of the other. “It’s kind of a long story,” I say, not really answering the question. I don’t really want to talk about how Diego and I became so close. Diego’s one of the most important people I know, and I owe him my life, but reminiscing on the finer details of how we developed our bond wasn’t something I wanted to focus on.

Klaus shrugs. “Well, I’ve got time. I’m all ears. I mean, I really couldn't leave if I wanted to. Not that I do, of course.” He shifts closer to me, his bright green eyes locking earnestly with mine. I can’t bring myself to turn him down. He’s looking at me supportively, almost like he knows that there’s something sensitive tied to my friendship with Diego. “I was working at a bar he would go to a lot between calls, or if he just wanted some time off from being a self-proclaimed super hero,” I start slowly. “And I was dating this guy at the time. And he and I move in together, because I’m young and naive and I think that even though there’s a million red flags, that moving in together is going to solve all of our problems. But he starts getting rough with me- real rough. So one night we’re fighting, like top of our lungs screaming at each other, and I just get this feeling like…” I stop to rub at my temples. Thinking back to that night brings back so many memories I prefer to keep buried. “I felt like that was it. He was going to kill me. I don’t really remember how I got away from him, but I locked myself in the bathroom and called Diego, just saying that I needed to get out of there and someone to be with me. I knew the police took too long, and I was scared out of my mind. I went back out of the bathroom, and he was choking me, saying that I would leave over his dead body. And then, in a moment of pure poetic irony, I see a knife sink into his jugular.” I chuckle darkly. 

My mind flashes back to that night, the images reeling like a silent film. I remember how dark it was in the apartment, what little light illuminated his face was starting to blur around the edges as I lost more and more oxygen. And the thick thunk sound as Diego’s knife sunk into his neck. The way he stumbled back, grasping at it like that was going to do anything. Me sinking to the cold, hard floor, coughing and trying to catch my breath. My head pounding, my vision coming back, the feeling flooding into my extremities. And Diego, silently slinking forward out of the shadows as my boyfriend bled out on the floor, his eyes hidden beneath his Academy mask. 

“Good old knife boy,” Klaus chuckles darkly. “I’m sorry though,” he says seriously. “You don’t deserve that. I mean nobody does, but especially not you.”

“It’s okay,” I say, but we both know it’s not. 

Klaus silently pulls me into a hug, resting his chin on my head. I feel small but safe in his embrace. “So how come you guys never got together?” I appreciate his attempt to change the subject, even though it’s one that still makes me feel a little awkward. He tries to sound blase about it, but I feel like there is a twinge of something else to his tone. “Diego is one of my best friends, and I’m forever grateful to him, don’t get me wrong…” I taper off. “I just… I know that he could never see me as anything but the way I was that night. When he saved me. And in some ways, I appreciate how protective and respectful he is to me. But if I’m with someone, I want them to see more to me than just that. I know he couldn’t ever do that with me.”

Klaus hums in agreement. “I can see that. Diego is a good guy, but he definitely takes the vigilante hero role to a whole new level. I think that’s what ruined his relationship with the cop lady-”

“Patch?”

“Yeah! That one.”

“Yeah,” I agree. 

I can tell Klaus is looking at me out of the corner of my eye, but I don’t care right now. I feel weirdly distant all of a sudden, like I need some air and space or something. “I think I’m going to go to bed,” I say, almost mechanically. 

“Okay.” Klaus gives my hand a little squeeze. “Sweet dreams.”

“Thanks,” I whisper, but I’m sure he doesn’t hear it. 

Thinking about my ex always puts me in a bad place. That’s why I try to avoid it as much as possible. And that’s why I always keep alcohol around. Is it healthy? No. But I’ll be damned if I have to stay up all night with these thoughts and not get any sleep because of him. One thing I got at the convenience store that I didn’t tell Klaus about was the liter of my friend The Captain, Captain Morgan to be exact. I start throwing back shot after shot, making a face as I do, the sting of the alcohol making my mind melt slowly. But after a few, things start to loosen up, relax. And I feel like I can finally sleep because my thoughts are so spaced out, floating loosely in my brain.  

I feel myself bolt upright in my sleep before I fully realize that I’m awake. In my drunken stupor, I realize it’s Klaus screaming in his sleep that’s woken me up. Again. Poor thing, I think to myself. Maybe he needs someone with him right now. I throw my legs over the side of the bed and walk down the hall to his room.

He doesn't hear me come in at all. “Klaus,” I whisper. He stays asleep, his face screwed up with fear.

“No… No…” he murmurs. “Please Dave, stay with me.” 

“Klaus,” I say again, firmer this time. I give him a little shake, to which he gasps as he wakes up, his fingers digging into my forearms. 

“Holy shit,” he breathes. “Fuck, am I glad you’re here.” He whispers it like a prayer. Any of the usual giddiness and antics is gone from Klaus’ usually bright eyes. Instead, he looks scared and exhausted, the kind that builds up from years of torment and pushing down emotions. He releases me from his grip, falling back on the bed with a faint thud. 

“Move over,” I instruct. Obediently, Klaus scoots over so I can fall into bed beside him. 

For once in his life, Klaus is doesn’t have anything to say. I hear him panting, still recovering from his nightmare as I scoot around until I get comfortable. I look up at him to see him staring back down at me. 

“What’s wrong Klaus?”

He looks down, his long lashes tickling the tops of his cheeks. “It was just… A really bad nightmare, that’s all.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

He shakes his head. “Not really.”

I hold my arms out to him, silently offering to hold him. Klaus accepts, shimmying himself into my embrace. His skin is cold and clammy from sweat and fear. I put my hand on his chest and can feel his heart thumping hard and quick, the way it does when you’re terrified. I feel him trying to relax in my embrace. 

“You smell like booze,” he says softly. I sigh, glad I can’t see his face. Whether it’s a smug smirk of perfect me being not so perfect, or a scowl of disappointment, that was honestly the last thing I needed to see right now. 

I let out a weary sigh before responding. “Well, you’re not the only one who’s been having a rough night.”

“I’m not judging,” he says quickly, almost nervously. “Trust me, I’m the last person who would.” He flips around to face me, snaking an arm around my waist. “If you tell me about yours I’ll tell you about mine,” he offers earnestly. 

“Maybe in the morning,” I suggest. The alcohol is coming back to haunt me, and my brief moment of coherence is wearing off now that I don’t have to attend to the screaming man. I feel tired, and I’m comfortable in bed tucked next to the man that I’ve grown to love. Love. Loving Klaus is a scary thought, but I don’t want to over analyze it in the state I’m in. That could be saved for later. “I promise we can in the morning if you still want to. I’m just, I’m really tired Klaus,” I admit. 

Klaus nods, silently agreeing with me. “Okay,” he says softly. “I’m tired too.” Hesitantly, he nuzzles himself into my embrace, placing his face in the crook of my neck and wrapping his long skinny arms around me. 

~~~

Most mornings, I wake up headache free. This is not one of those mornings. I peel my eyes open, not understanding why I’m not in my own room and why the fuck is Klaus here?!

“I tried not to move around so I wouldn’t wake you up,” Klaus admits as he watches me grasp at my throbbing temples. He must have been watching me for a while, which I find oddly sweet instead of strange.  “How are you doing, sport?” He’s sat up slightly, looking down at me with tender eyes. His dark hair is fluffy and sticking up slightly on one side from sleeping. Klaus is warm too, and I reflexively scoot towards him, he silently shifts to accomodate me. 

“Not well,” I answer gruffly. Then I start to put the pieces together. Drunk me really stumbled all the way to Klaus and slept with him? God, I need to never do that ever again. 

“Someone’s a little cranky,” he teases. “I can’t believe you didn’t share though!”

“Klaus!” I snap. His face falls, immediately sorry. 

“I shouldn’t have asked you all that stuff last night, huh?” He asks softly. “I’m sorry I brought it up. His ghost just keeps following you around though, and he was being so annoying with the accusing and bitching and-”

I sit up so fast that I feel woozy. “Did you just say that my ex-boyfriend’s ghost is following me around?”

“Um, yeah?” He says it so plainly, like it’s common knowledge. “Did- Did Diego seriously not tell you about our powers? They’re kinda like the whole reason that I’m fucked up literally all the time. Both literally and metaphorically.”

“No Klaus, he didn’t mention the powers or the seeing dead people thing,” I sigh. 

“I’m really sorry,” Klaus says softly.

“What? What are you sorry for?”

“I just- I’m sorry that Diego dumped me on you, and that you’re trying to take care of me, and that your ex-boyfriend is a piece of trash,” he says a little bit louder to an empty space in the room. “I know I can be a lot. But no one has ever been this kind to me- well, scratch that. No one has been this kind to me since Dave.” He rakes his fingers through his hair, trying to find the words to tell me what the hell he means. “What I’m trying to say is- You’re a really amazing person. You didn’t have to help me with all of this, getting clean, you didn’t have to come to see if I’m okay when I’m having nightmares.” He slips my hands into his, rubbing his thumbs soothingly over the back of my hands. “I like you a lot. Like, really like you a lot. I’ve been really scared of being vulnerable with someone after Dave but, you make me feel not so scared.”

“So all the flirting was real?” I ask. I feel slow, my brain processing what I’m hearing a few beats too late. 

“Of course it was. You’re fucking hot!” He cries, both of us giggling. “Um,” he swallows, flinging back to seriousness. “If you would want to like, be an item, or date, or something… That would be cool.”

I giggle, sliding a hand up to cup his face. He flicks his gaze up to meet mine, his green eyes melting into mine. I lean in and press my lips to his firmly, Klaus immediately melting into the kiss. He makes a little squeak of excitement as I pull him closer to me, grinning ear to ear when I pull away.

“How’s that for an answer?” I smirk.

“I don’t know, I think I’ll have to check again,” Klaus says before pulling me in for another kiss.

[artificialqueens]

Pretty Please (Oneshot, Branjie) - Holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (word count: 3965)

Brooke’s not the jealous type. She’s not. Or at least, that’s what she tells herself, until an old classmate of Vanessa’s tests her on that assertion just a little.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for all the wonderful comments on ‘it’s nice to have a friend,’ I’m so happy that it was so well received and enjoyed. Here’s a quick trip back to the 'nobody knows where we might end up’ verse, in case anyone has missed neurosurgeon Brooke and cardiothoracic surgeon Vanessa. I was supposed to write this fic for Barbie last Christmas, if that tells you anything about how quickly I get things done. At least it’s here now? Thank you as always to writ for betaing and being the best <3

Brooke likes being Vanessa’s arm candy sometimes.

It gives her an opportunity to soak in just how brilliant her girlfriend is. Sure, Brooke’s known it since they were in undergrad with their heads buried in textbooks, but it’s magnified now, more than a decade later. Because the way Vanessa’s in her element when she talks about her research and her practice is almost mesmerizing to watch, and Brooke knows she’s not the only one who’s impressed.

From the standing ovation that Vanessa’s presentation gets after she’s finished talking? She’s just that good.

“Great job, babe.” Brooke whispers to Vanessa once she sits back down, squeezing her hand. “I feel bad for the poor sucker who has to follow that.”

“I’m just glad I could answer all of the audience questions,” Vanessa shrugs, “being in the early stages of the study and all. There’s still so much that we haven’t done yet.”

“And yet you were a rockstar. Proud of you. Now you get to enjoy the rest of the conference.”

A cardiothoracic surgery conference doesn’t normally fall under Brooke’s domain. Cardio is a little out of her element, with even the basic ideas being discussed requiring her to wrack her brain to recall exactly what they mean. Except that Vanessa’s team is making progress in their research, enough to present at symposiums and conferences to create some waves in the cardiothoracic surgery world and sue Brooke, she likes watching her girlfriend succeed. It doesn’t hurt that the conference is taking place in San Diego, either, because any chance to get away from the bitter cold of the Toronto winter is one that Brooke will gladly grab on to.

Besides, it’s kind of nice to turn her brain off for once. At this conference, Brooke gets to relinquish the notion of being an expert, unlike the neurosurgery conferences that she goes to every year. She doesn’t have to pay attention to the latest research and techniques or present any of her own findings, nor does she have to work her ass off to build connections with fellow neurosurgeons. At this conference, she can sit back and watch Vanessa do it all herself.

It’s an interesting feeling, becoming more settled in her career. Brooke knows that younger Brooke, even five, six years ago would feel like a fish out of water at this conference, intimidated by all the information that she doesn’t know. Except that now, Brooke knows what she’s good at. It may not be cardiothoracic surgery, and honestly? She’s okay with that.

Because Vanessa gets to be the one to dazzle everyone.

Vanessa’s surrounded by audience members once the current round of presentations is completed, forming a swarm around her to praise her work and ask her more questions. Brooke plops down beside Vanessa’s research partner, Jimbo, who’s already looking for places nearby to grab lunch.

“You’re not gonna help her out with that crowd?”

Jimbo shrugs. “Nah, she’s got it. I got my eye, meanwhile, on the shawarma place across the street.”

“They do give us a boxed lunch at this conference, y’know.” Brooke tries to hold in a laugh at the deadpan expression that Jimbo throws at her.

“Two slices of white bread and an apple. Delicious.”

Brooke rests her cheek on her palm, her eyes absentmindedly scanning the groups of people around the room. There are fancy suits and pencil skirts and button downs but there’s even a guy in jeans who Brooke remembers had presented in the morning. Brooke herself is in a pantsuit, because hey, even if she has nothing to contribute to cardiothoracic surgery, she may as well look good. Vanessa’s dress compliments her outfit by accident, the navy trim nearly the same colour as her suit. Brooke likes it.

She lets her mind wander to what they’ll do this evening once the conference wraps up for the day, because their hotel has a spa but they’re also near the beach, and maybe Brooke can catch some sun before it goes down, and-

“Brooke! C’mere!”

“Huh?”

Jimbo snickers when Brooke nearly falls off of her chair at Vanessa’s yell, and Brooke tries to ignore the burning in her cheeks that is only present when she’s caught not paying attention. It’s not her fault Vanessa’s audience still wants to talk to her about her research.

Vanessa’s gesturing to her to come over, and Brooke can’t help but smile back at Vanessa’s excited grin. Surely, whoever Vanessa wants to introduce her to must be great, and worth getting up from her comfy chair for.

“This is Jackie Cox. Cardiac surgeon out of Mount Sinai in New York. We…go way back.” Vanessa’s smile is shy as she reaches out, squeezing Jackie’s hand.

Jackie herself is smiling, too, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear before pushing her glasses higher on her nose. “More than way back. Med school level way back. How would I have gotten through Genetics I without you?”

“Jesus, I still have nightmares about that class.” Vanessa shudders, and then her and Jackie are giggling, and Brooke can’t help the way her brow furrows.

Who even is this woman?

“Not gonna introduce me?” Brooke keeps her tone light because hey, she’s polite. Maybe Jackie is nice enough.

Vanessa claps a hand over her mouth. “Jackie, this is Brooke Lynn Hytes. Neurosurgeon extraordinaire.”

“What’s a neurosurgeon doing at a cardiothoracic surgery conference?” Jackie’s tone is friendly enough, but Brooke can’t help but bristle slightly, take a step closer to Vanessa.

“Just here to support my girlfriend.” Sure, the arm she snakes around Vanessa’s waist is a bit overkill, but Brooke can’t help it. Not when it makes Jackie’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

“Oh! That’s lovely!” Jackie’s smiling, friendly as ever, but a little part of Brooke feels smug, especially when Vanessa tucks an arm around her waist, too. “I was going to ask Vanessa to grab some dinner after the conference is done for today to catch up and reminisce a little, but I  suppose I should ask the both of you. Would you happen to be free afterwards?”

Vanessa’s looking up at her, eyebrows raised as if she’s leaving the answer to Brooke. It’s all too easy for Brooke to shake her head, put on her most convincing expression of disappointment.

“No. Busy, sadly. Dinner plans and after-dinner plans.” Brooke smiles at Jackie, channeling as much brightness as she can. “Another time, though! I’m sure we’ll run into each other again!”

Vanessa’s rolling her eyes as they walk away after saying goodbye to Jackie. “Wanna explain what that was about?”

“What?” Brooke answers just a little bit too quickly, because Vanessa lets out a snort. “I was perfectly friendly and professional.”

“Ah, yes, because ‘perfectly friendly and professional’ is becoming weirdly threatened by someone I went to med school with.”

Brooke scoffs. “Threatened? I’m threatened.”

She isn’t.

“Then why did you just practically drag me away from her after saying our goodbyes? Wait.” Vanessa pauses, her eyes widening for just a second before they’re filled with absolute glee. “You’re jealous!”

“Jealous? Who said I’m jealous? I’m not jealous.” Brooke sputters, but it’s no use, because Vanessa is grinning and looking a little bit too smug. Brooke huffs, crossing her arms. “She was being weird!”

Vanessa has the ability to read her almost too easily, after knowing her for so long. It’s nice sometimes, but other times, like now? Brooke feels exposed.

“She was not being weird. Jackie and I dated for a bit back in med school before realizing we were better off as friends.” Vanessa gives her a pointed look, but Brooke can’t help but feel a little vindicated.

“Ha! I knew I was picking up on some sapphic vibes. That girl is most definitely not straight.”

Vanessa, though, rolls her eyes. “Of course she’s not straight, dumbass. She’s married and has a wife. And three pet cats. But most importantly? A wife. Which you now won’t get to hear about because you turned down an invite to dinner with her.”

“A wife?” Brooke squeaks out the words as she feels her cheeks heat up, because shit.

A wife. Jackie’s married. She wasn’t hitting on Vanessa.

Whoops.

“Sinking in now, is it?” Vanessa’s giggling, though, and wrapping an arm around her waist. “You’re something else.”

“You don’t think she noticed, did you?” Brooke can’t help but think back to the interaction with Jackie. “Do you think she thinks I’m an asshole? I should apologize. Should I apologize?”

Brooke’s probably gone and pissed off one of Vanessa’s friends. Maybe she should ask if Jackie would reconsider dinner. It would be the nice thing to do, right?

Especially knowing Jackie is already married.

“Jackie is going to be just fine, babe.” Vanessa grins, looking over Brooke’s shoulder. “Especially considering the fact that she’s waving at us from the Starbucks line at this very second.”

Brooke turns, looking over her own shoulder in the direction of Vanessa’s pointed hand, and sure enough, Jackie has a grin on her face while waiting for her order. Brooke joins Vanessa in waving back, her friendliness a little more genuine this time.

“It’s cute that you were jealous, though. You rarely ever are.” Vanessa’s smirking as she whispers the words under her breath, and Brooke has to fight back the indignation that immediately bubbles up.

It’s true - they’re back together and doing so well, and, for all intents and purposes, Brooke feels comfortable and secure with Vanessa. She knows she has nothing to worry about, that Vanessa’s her person and that she’s Vanessa’s, too. There’s very little that can shake the foundation that they’ve built together, which is why Brooke’s unbothered when guys ask Vanessa for her number, watching amusedly as she finds creative ways to turn them down. She doesn’t mind if other girls hit on Vanessa, mostly because Vanessa’s the first one to stand up and put them in their place.

Vanessa has a handle on herself, and is more than ready to express her own commitment. It’s nice, knowing that Vanessa is the one, that Vanessa feels the same way about her, too. That they’re in this together.

Funny how a girl in brimmed glasses can manage to shake Brooke’s confidence in approximately thirty seconds flat.

Brooke isn’t jealous, though. She doesn’t get jealous. A fact that she wastes no time in reiterating to Vanessa with a scoff. “I don’t get jealous. That’s not me.”

“Sure, it wasn’t you becoming edgy beside me and wanting to move away from Jackie as fast as possible, but not before, let me mention, wrapping your arm around my waist at the most opportune time. Definitely not jealous.” Vanessa looks positively smug, and Brooke huffs, because, well?

She’s a little bit right.

“Okay, maybe I was a little bit jealous.” Brooke grumbles, as Vanessa lets out a snicker. “Just a little, though. Not that much.”

“Mhm. Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.” Vanessa pats her arm, and Brooke has to hold back the urge to pout.

There’s a million different ways that Brooke can embarrass herself at a conference for a surgery specialty that she isn’t a part of. Acting like an idiot in front of an old friend of Vanessa’s, though? An unexpected turn of events.

“I feel a little stupid, now. She was nice enough. Especially since she’s married.” Brooke wonders what Jackie’s wife is like. With their luck, her wife’s probably here at the conference and Jackie is going to tell her all about Brooke being weird at their first meeting.

“You’re relieved at that part, aren’t you?” Vanessa’s grinning as she leans forward on her tiptoes to whisper in Brooke’s ear. “If it makes you feel better, it was hot. That jealousy. Though you didn’t hear it from me.”

Vanessa takes a step back, then another and turns on her toes to head towards Jackie and the Starbucks line, and Brooke’s frozen in place for a millisecond while her brain tries to comprehend what Vanessa’s just said.

The rest of the day goes by slower than Brooke wants it to, the presentations and research talks taking her back to the cardiothoracic units in med school that she would always want to skip over while studying. The slow ticking of the watch on Brooke’s wrist isn’t helped by the fact that Vanessa looks positively smug. Well, not smug, exactly. More excited. Full of anticipation.

It’s not hard to know why Vanessa’s smirking, either, not when she’s putting a hand on Brooke’s back when they walk between conference rooms, and when her hand is ever so lightly tracing on her thigh when Brooke’s trying her hardest to pay attention to the guy presenting about a new method of AV node ablation.

“Behave.” Brooke mutters the word under her breath when Vanessa’s hand starts creeping a little bit higher on her thigh, though the words have absolutely no impact, by the way that Vanessa’s eyes are gleaming as she glances up at her.

“Or what? You’re gonna punish me after?” Vanessa’s snickering as she crosses her own legs, knowing damn well how effective the subtle motion of her thighs is at driving Brooke crazy.

Though Brooke isn’t one to let Vanessa win so easily. “No. Or I’ll go to bed early tonight after a riveting episode of Jeopardy and leave you to take care of the problem between your legs by yourself.”

Brooke really, really hopes that the audience members around them are paying attention to the presentation and can’t hear a word of what they’re saying. It’s worth it, though, when Vanessa’s eyes widen and her bottom lip pushes out ever so slightly.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Maybe I would.”

“Maybe I’ll go to dinner with Jackie, then.” Vanessa’s smirking, flipping her hair over her shoulder and Brooke hates it, really, how easily it makes her skin prickle. “While you watch your Jeopardy.”

Jackie’s married, Brooke knows that. Her and Vanessa are solid and healthy and they trust each other and she has nothing to worry about at all, but there’s a little voice in the back of her head. One belonging to a little green eyed monster that whispers that Vanessa is hers, that she isn’t Jackie’s no matter what sort of dating history they had back in med school, and that there’s no way in hell Brooke wants to share.

“Maybe you should watch what you’re saying now so you don’t have to pay for it later, princess.” Brooke mutters the words into Vanessa’s ear as the audience begins to applaud the presenters, their presentation presumably coming to an end.

It’s exactly what Vanessa wants and has been baiting her for, and it shows from the way she bites her lip in anticipation, hooking Brooke’s pinky with her own.

“Promise?”

Vanessa is pliant in Brooke’s arms when she pushes her against the wall in the entrance of their hotel room, sucking in a breath that Brooke steals with a biting kiss. Brooke kicks the door closed with her heel, not bothering to lock it because she has more important things to attend to. Namely, her girlfriend who’s keening under her touch and trying to climb on her tiptoes to get closer to her.

Brooke pulls back as Vanessa chases her lips for a kiss, the corners of her lips curving up when Vanessa lets out a little whine.

“Why so desperate?” Brooke trails a hand up Vanessa’s side, the other planted against the wall and boxing her in.

Vanessa’s breath is coming out in pants, her fingers hooking onto Brooke’s belt loops. “Come closer.”

“You need me that much, huh?” Brooke leans down, placing a biting kiss on Vanessa’s neck, tugging just a little bit longer than she should in a way that’s going to show on Vanessa’s skin later on.

“Just come here-”

“Tell me. How much you need it. Need me.” Brooke trails the hand along Vanessa’s side up to cup her tit, her thumb brushing over the lace that she can feel through the fabric of Vanessa’s dress.

Vanessa’s whimper is immediate, her body already trembling under Brooke’s touch. “I…I…”

“What was that?” Brooke pulls her hand back, resting it against the wall near Vanessa’s shoulder so that she’s boxed in between her arms. “Tell me.”

“Need you so bad…” Vanessa’s squirming under Brooke’s gaze, but she’s tugging on her belt loops fruitlessly, trying to bring her closer. “Been thinking about this all day.”

“All day, huh? Even when you were presenting? Were you that horny, baby? Only thinking about us coming back to the hotel room?” Brooke presses another kiss to Vanessa’s neck, drags it down to her collarbone.

Vanessa’s cheeks are crimson when Brooke pulls back, biting at her already swollen lip. “Maybe.”

Brooke finds the zipper on Vanessa’s back, drags it down until her dress pools on the floor around her ankles. Vanessa is hot to the touch when Brooke brackets her sides with her palms, her fingers pressing small indents into her skin. “Beg for it, then.”

Vanessa’s too far gone to play their usual game of being a brat and teasing Brooke back until they’re both worked up, and instead the words fall from her lips in a way that makes Brooke want to squeeze her own thighs together. “Please, I need it, need you, I’m being so good, right, please fuck me, please-”

Brooke swallows her pleas with a kiss, tugging at Vanessa’s bottom lip before pulling back and Vanessa is a vision, with her mussed hair and dazed eyes and unsteadily balanced on her feet.

“On the bed.”

The way Vanessa leans back on her hands as she settles herself on top of the sheets is mesmerizing, her legs crossed almost demurely. It’s a sight that Brooke takes the time to drink in as she undoes the buttons on her blazer one by one, throwing it over the back of the desk chair. She keeps her shirt and slacks on, though, if only for the contrast that they create with Vanessa’s lingerie. The bed squeaks as Brooke leans against it, rolling up her sleeves to her elbows before straddling Vanessa, her knees against the mattress on either side of Vanessa’s hips and her palms nestling themselves into the sheets above her head.

“So pretty.” The words aren’t intentional but Brooke can’t help it, not when her girlfriend never fails to take her breath away, even when she’s the one who’s supposedly in control tonight.

“And all mine.”

The whine from Vanessa’s lips and her subsequent sharp intake of breath curl around Brooke like rings of smoke that she has to wade through to press kisses down Vanessa’s neck, along her collarbone, across the top of her cleavage. Vanessa’s hands fist themselves in her hair, and Brooke can feel Vanessa’s heart pounding underneath the areas of red that she decorates along her skin.

“All yours.” Vanessa’s breathless, already trembling underneath her and Brooke wants nothing more than to keep pulling her apart. “No one else’s.”

The words don’t need to be said, necessarily, not when Brooke already knows that they’re true and run through the fabric of her and Vanessa’s relationship. But they still calm the part of her brain that likes to act up every now and then, the one that starts second guessing and expects things to take a turn for the worse, even though with Vanessa, they never really do anymore.

The words are a comfort. A spoken truth, one that reminds Brooke of how lucky she really is.

Vanessa’s already wet when Brooke drags the pads of her fingers across the fabric of her panties, her thighs squeezing together around Brooke’s hand. She eases them apart, pulling off Vanessa’s panties all together before kissing down her stomach and past her hip bones. She dots a kiss on the inside of Vanessa’s thigh, and it makes Vanessa reach down and grab her hand for a second before letting go.

Brooke takes her time, savouring Vanessa’s gasps and moans as she teases at her folds. She works Vanessa up at a pace that would normally have her grumbling to hurry up, already, but today Vanessa’s too far gone to care, her hands fisting in the sheets below her, the rise and fall of her chest erratic.

She circles her tongue around Vanessa’s clit before sucking on it in a way that always makes Vanessa mewl, using one hand to hold Vanessa’s hips down onto the bed and to keep them from bucking. Brooke’s other hand drags up Vanessa’s thigh before tracing her folds as she lifts her head up, admiring the sight in front of her.

“Tell me who you belong to, baby, if you want to come.” Brooke crawls back up until she’s face to face with Vanessa and has the perfect view of how her thumb against her clit is already making her tremble.

Vanessa’s eyes are squeezing shut with a gasp when Brooke pushes a finger into her, a gasp that Brooke wants to hear again and again. Vanessa’s hot to the touch and Brooke feels like she herself is going to burn up, too, which is why the goosebumps rising along both of their skin make absolutely no sense. Brooke slows her pace down a little until Vanessa’s whining, her hips canting up and begging for more and she covers her face with the crook of her arm.

“I belong to you, I’m yours, all yours and no one else’s.” The words are mumbled and end with a moan when Brooke adds another finger, keeping the torturously slow pace that she knows drives Vanessa crazy.

“I’m the only one who can get you like this, huh? All worked up and whiny and dripping down my palm because you can’t hold yourself back?”

Vanessa, for her part, is hanging on by a thread and can barely kiss back when Brooke licks in her mouth. “Please, please-”

“No one else can fuck you like me, can they, baby?” Brooke speeds up, then, tilting her wrist slightly to get the angle against Vanessa’s clit that never fails at getting her to the edge.  

When Vanessa comes she’s whining with her face buried in Brooke’s neck, her hands uselessly fisting in the fabric of her shirt. Brooke pulls her thumb away from Vanessa’s clit first when Vanessa lets out a mewl but keeps the pace of her fingers, pumping as Vanessa’s squeezing around them.

Brooke takes each finger into her mouth one by one when she pulls back, sucking them clean, but it’s all for show, really, because the sight of Vanessa watching her with dazed eyes is one that she’s never going to tire of.

“No one else can fuck me like that, that’s for damn sure.” Vanessa lets out a breathless giggle, grabbing the front of Brooke’s shirt to pull her in for another kiss.

Vanessa’s eyes are soft when Brooke pulls back, and the swell that she feels in her heart isn’t because of the sex, necessarily. It’s the way that Vanessa continues to look at her with complete adoration even all these years later, enough that Brooke sometimes feels the need to pinch herself to see if it’s really happening.

“Always yours, baby. You never have to worry about that.” Vanessa reaches up, tucking a lock of hair behind Brooke’s ear.

It’s true. Brooke really doesn’t. But sometimes, it’s nice to just hear it again.

Brooke’s about to reply when Vanessa shimmies in her grip, grabbing at her hips and-

“Hey!”

“My turn.” Vanessa snickers from her new position, straddling Brooke’s hips with her thighs and her hands waste no time, already working on Brooke’s shirt buttons.

“‘Cause I’m all yours, but you’re mine too, babe. All mine.”

[boogiewrites]

No.9: The Body

Chapter Five

Characters: Diego Hargreeves & OFC Eve Corpuz

Summary: Diego breaks down Eve unexpectedly, and Luther attempts to break down Diego.

Warnings/Tags: Light descriptions of fighting. Little bit of Luther. Talk of past trauma/abuse/death. 

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT! If you’d like added to the tags, just let me know. This is a multi-chapter fic.

Eve walked into the gym after work as she did most nights now. It greeted her half-lit but still bright enough to see the training area. She’d continually thanked Luther for being so accommodating, and he didn’t seem to mind in the least. She felt almost bad keeping him in the dark about her powers. She was dying to tell them all, to have people understand, to be around people like her as she tried to newly navigate this alternate reality she’d found herself having to accept. But Diego said to trust him, it was best to keep it as low key as possible until she felt a bit more certain. She did trust him, so she did as he suggested even if she felt like a kid being denied a gift.

She had acetaminophen in her system, her usual jug of water, and another large container of Gatorade in tow. She was as ready as she’d ever been. She was actually glad she decided to go late instead of early for her sessions. She was at least awake and warmed up and accustomed to the hungover feeling at this point.

“You showed up.” Diego smirks as he wraps his hands to ready for training.

“Of course I did.” she sasses back and throws her bag against the wall. She also liked not having anyone looking at her or bothering her while she worked out. No one around to steal her things, she could toss them instead of throwing them into a locker and be able to totally focus.

“You were getting a little faded when I left last night, didn't know if you’d be up to this.”

“I’ve already put in a shift today, dude. Don’t come at me with that shit.” she laughs and begins taking off her outer layers. Still staying in an oversized t-shirt and leggings as was her usual, she shook and jumped to warm up everything after it’s exposed to the still cold late winter air of the city that drafted through the old brick walls of the industrial-looking building.

“How was work?” he asked, always down to hear the gross-out stories she had to tell.

“Not great.”

“You good?” he asks, brows high and making an effort to meet her eyes.

“I’ll be fine. Just y’know, dealing with kids is hard.”

“They call you a butt head and it hurt your feelings?”

“No, they died from a drunk driver.” she stares into his eyes and she sees his instant regret.

“Oh shit. I-I'm sorry.” his posture slinks.

“It's what I signed up for, Diego. I’ll be fine.” she motions her hand to halt his sympathetic approach to her. “Just wear me out so I have to go home and collapse into a dreamless sleep.”

“Oh I’ve never let a girl down that’s asked me that.” he falls back into his playful self, trying to deflect the embarrassment he felt.

“Let’s not start now. C’mon.” she begins stretching and heads over to the heavy bags.

------

“Eve. You aren’t hitting like you MEAN it!” he says for the fifth time, trying her patience.

“I’m TRYING! I don’t know what you mean? I’m putting my whole body into it.”

“No, this isn’t about your body, you’ve got to FEEL it.” he shakes the bag as he holds it so she can hit it. She’d been shown how to wrap her hands, and get used to the feeling of hitting something and it jarring her back. But she kept hitting the bag, focused and form correct and he kept asking for more. She was starting to get frustrated.

“Is my form wrong?” she asks with dropped shoulders, panting.

“No, it’s perfect. That’s the problem. I want to see you get messy. In a real fight, you won’t have your head on perfectly straight. I want to see you give everything you’ve got and HIT. Like you HATE this bag.”

“I’ll hit it like it’s you if you don’t stop with this hippy sounding nonsense.”

“THAT is what you need!” he says exasperated too, trying to get her to give in and break, put her heart, not just her mind into it. He knew a fighter was inside her but her years of polish to appear as perfect as possible was a hard varnish to breakthrough. “Imagine it’s someone you hate.”

“I don’t HATE anyone…” she lies.

He cocks a brow at her. “Bullshit. Think of something that made you cry, made you lash out, made you want to beat someone's head in. HEY imagine it’s whoever stabbed you? What would you have done now that you KNOW how to fight huh? Imagine it’s them and that you’re going to give them what's coming to them.”

She takes a deep breath and presses her lips together. He didn’t really know what he was asking of her. Her therapist would be slapping him for requesting her to do such a thing. But she trusted his philosophy. And she imagined the bag was her mother. “I’ll… try okay. Just...stop talking and let me... focus.” she rasps out and stretches her neck.

He motions zipping his mouth and throwing away the key, and braces himself for her hit.

A one-two. A flash of her mother screaming at her. A few more hits. The feeling of true fear as she saw the wild in her mother's eyes. She begins a pattern, a few hits, and a deep breath. Eventually, it becomes a continuous downpour of hits, making sounds as she hits each time. It sounded like pain and Diego knew she’d found what she needed to fuel herself.

“There it is. You got it. Keep goin’.” he says softly, watching her eyes.

Her naturally dark hair is falling out of its tight ponytail, now flopping with every hit. She could hear her mother's voice, feel that fear for her life, and the deluge of insults that would be her inner monologue for so many years after. The hits came harder, with more grunts and whimpers after each one, each a time she’d been afraid. Her breathing buckles, the hits harder and harder, her knuckles aching until she throws in knees and kicks. It doesn’t stop, the feelings were broken open and he’d gotten what he wanted, but at what cost to her.

Diego was proud for a few shining moments until he saw the tears start to fall. Her lips went from tight to gasping, sobs breaking through her angry sounds of impact until her hits lost strength and her head hit against the bag. Her shoulders shook and his eyes went wide, quickly reaching around to her support her as the sobs hit and her knees gave out.

With an unsure hand on her back, her on all fours and trying to gasp through the sobs, the day and her past became too heavy at that moment and it all hit her, breaking her down into a tired, sweaty mess on the gym floor.

He sits next to her, silently, a now supportive rub to her back. “I”m sorry Eve I didn’t-”

She reaches her arms back and hits him lightly. “It’s-you didn’t-” stuttering inhale that she couldn't control.

“Sh… just breathe. Sit up here.” he pulls her up, sitting on her knees, pressing between her shoulder blades to give her lungs room to breathe. “Count in five, out seven.” He counts out loud for her, as her hands begin to still against her thighs and the sounds of pain cease. “I didn’t know you had panic attacks.”

“I dont,” she says wiping her eyes. “I just... it’s been a hard day.” she begins more weakly crying and lets a small laugh out to hide her pain.

“Uh…’ he takes his hands off of her as she begins to let herself stretch and retie her hair. “I think this is where I ask if you wanna talk about it?” he offers and his delivery makes her laugh.

“Better question.” she moves to wipe her face with the hem of her shirt. “Do you wanna hear it?”

With a pause he answers, “Of course I do.” and she turns to face him with still watery eyes.

“Really?” the disbelief almost hurt his feelings.

“Yeah. If we’re gonna be in this together, I wanna know what’s gonna set you off like this. I don’t wanna...make things worse than I already do.” he shrugs.

She nods, turning and plopping down to sit on her butt and cross her legs. “That’s... that’s really nice…” she wells up again and then laughs and rubs her face. “Must be time for me to start my period or somethin’,” she mumbles and it makes him chuckle.

“Or you’ve had a shitty upbringing that still follows you around no matter where you run. Not that I would know anything about that though, right?”

She considered hugging him. For the goofiness he showed, he also had a depth that you had to access through empathy. They both had finally let that facade of having their shit together break down and now they sat like two children in a play circle, sharing secrets.

“Did your dad ever stab you?” she asks with a weak smile as she let herself slump over with a deep sigh.

“He did actually. Tried to kill me.” he nods with an annoyed look on his face.

“Well fuck.” she snorts and rubs her face. “Maybe you do get it.”

“I do.” he leans in and puts his hand on her shoulder. “So tell me.” he asks softly.

“It was the night I ran away for good.” she begins, eyes wandering and looking at nothing as she recalled it. “There was this kid, this guy at school that used to bully me. He’d had me cornered and was... “ she sighs, “he was trying to hurt me. And he ended up having a seizure and dying.” her eyes stare out blankly. “Whispers started fast. Saying I killed him. Although how would I?” she says defensively still. “My mom...knowing about my...abilities she did blame me. She became convinced I’d kill her too. So she tried to beat me to it.” her face wrinkles, pulling her knees to her chest.

“Shit.” he quietly exhales. “That's fucked up, Eve.”

She lets out a genuine louder laugh that confuses him. “Yeah, it is.” She shakes her head and rests her chin on her knees. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we’re both pretty fucked up, Diego.” she offers with a smile and tears still wet on her lashes. It makes him give the smile back, a soft laugh shared between them. Sometimes you had to laugh not to cry.

After pulling her to her feet, he tells her there’s no way he’s making her train more tonight and sends her home. A comforting hug between them before she parts, it felt right to do so. She’d entered the gym with a secret that no one else knew, and left with the weight of it shared. It was no small step, and even though it hurt like hell, in the aftermath it felt worth it.

Diego has a contemplative look on his face as he begins to tidy and shut everything down. Luther appears from the men’s locker room, an apologetic look on his face.

“Didn’t know you were still here big guy.” Diego looks him up and down, trying to read him.

“Yeah…” he drags on, eyes not meeting his brothers.

“What?” Diego demands with a jutted out chin.

“I...uh...kind of heard….all of that…” he pushes back his chin and presses his lips. “Were you gonna tell us you found another person like us or… just keep that to yourself?”

“I didn’t want her to get freaked out by you all and leave.”

“Well she’s already met me and I’m the freakiest there is.” he chuckles softly.

He shrugs in non-insulting agreement. “I just… she’s the first person since..”

“Yeah.” Luther interrupts.

“Y’know who's GOT me. Like, she gets how messed up everything is, man. I don’t want her to…” he sighs and drops the tension in his shoulders. “I don’t want her to leave.”

Luther put a large hand to Deigo’s shoulder. “Ever think she might want to be a part of this?”

“No, Jesus why would she?”

“She’s been alone since she was what? Sixteen she said? She didn’t have support like we did growing up.”

“You’re gonna call what dad did to us support?”

“Look, the point is.. She doesn’t have a family. And even if you hate your family, like you claim to, you still keep coming back right?”

“I can stop.” he sarcastically suggests.

“Well, maybe that’s what she needs. A family. Or at least y’know...friends that understand her. She didn’t know what was going on when she was younger. Can you imagine that? I can’t.” he muses with raised brows, feeling bad for the kind doctor lady.

“I hate to admit this...but you’ve got a point.”

“I know. I do that sometimes. If anyone would listen.” he mumbles defensively. “And I mean.. she’s very nice. She seems...cool. I wouldn’t mind being able to help her out too.” He offers, and Diego knows he only means it in the nicest way possible.

“She is cool.” he nods and looks down, voice soft. “Just let me… I’ll do...somethin’. Just give me some time okay?”

“Secrets safe with me.” Luther says proudly.

“Oh shit, Luther you can’t keep a secret.” Diego groans.

“Yes I can!”

“This is going to end so badly…” Diego complains childishly and loudly. “She’s gonna get introduced to Five and he’s gonna be a DICK and she’s gonna leave and hate me and-!”

“Ah. I get it.” Luther grins.

“What? What’s there to get? We’re a bunch of crazy people, and she’s a nice girl and you’re all gonna freak her out!”

“You like her.” Luther keeps the same cheesy grin on his face.

“PSH!” Diego says dramatically. “I don’t- pfft. I don’t like her. She’s cool and all but-”

“Diego…” Luther comes in and gives his brother a forced hug. “Can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner.”

“I don't.” he murmurs into his brother chest, being held against his will.

“It’s been like what? A year? Over a year now? Since… Voldemort happened

“Voldemort?” he pushes away.

“She who must not be named.”

“You can say her name.” he grumbles.

“Since Lila. You were a wreck. It’s about time you started to move on.”

Diego pouts and holds a low brow, looking up with disdain for his brother. Who was right. “Doesn’t mean you have to say it.” he mumbles back but Luther hears and laughs.

“I can’t wait to meet your girlfriend, Diego!” he cheers out as his brother sulks away.

“SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!” he protests but the flush on his cheeks from embarrassment says otherwise.

@s-h-e-w-r-i-t-e-s​ @jaegeeeeer​ @diegos-butt​ @anglovesthis

[mybeautifulbeautifuleternal]

i couldn’t utter it, i couldn’t whisper it (my love for you was silent); iii

Chapter Three - Bad Luck This Family Has

rating: its a gen fic for The Umbrella Academy

words:3.8k

chapter:3/10

First / Previous

warnings: canon typical for tua

AO3

a/n: I blame @sam-writes​ for pretty much all of this!

Summary: In one world, the young teenager hid when she abruptly found herself pregnant and she gave birth in secret, left the baby on a random doorstep, and never looked back. Unfortunately, this isn’t that world. In this world, Reginald Hargreeves finds her and takes her baby. It doesn’t end well.

Vanya was heading home from practice — still riding the high she got from the successful run from today’s piece. She was crossing the street on her last leg of the journey when the window display from the bookstore caught her attention. It wasn’t the Umbrella Academy Comics - she had seen them all when they first came out — they weren’t all that special really.

No — what had caught her attention was the bright red typewriter sitting above them. It was an idea that had been brewing in her mind for a while — something her therapist had said to her.

And seeing it sit above the stories of her siblings — she decided she was going to do it. She was going to tell the world her story. She wanted to finally be heard.

*

Charlie was laughing at Zara, a common occurrence nowadays, when the bookstore caught her attention. She paused her walking, allowing Zara to outpace her for a moment before he doubled back.

Vanya’s young face stared back her from a hundred copies of a book — that she apparently wrote.

Charlie stepped inside the store and bought four — she’d drop off ones for her brothers before she went home for the evening to start reading her own.

*

Charlie ended up throwing the book across her apartment. How dare Vanya write that that that awful crap! She had dug deep into their childhood and had thrown every dirty little secret that the Academy had to the wolves.  

The only things that weren’t in her little book were the things that she didn’t know — mission statements and one on one conversations. But all the little tortures from their childhoods — the casual cruelties — were now being read by anyone who picked up a copy of her book.

All of the ways dad used to train them, the ways he’d set them up against each other, the way he was never actually proud of them regardless of the show he’d put on for the cameras…

But how was Vanya to know about any of that…she had never been included enough to know that dad was a massive dick, even to his supposed favorites.

The more that Charlie thought about it, the more she realized she couldn’t actually be mad at her sister. The Academy had almost 10 years of the spotlight but Vanya was always in the shadows. She had no way of actually knowing the damage she was doing.

It didn’t make anything she wrote any better but Charlie knew she’d reserve judgment till after she’d talk to her.

She owed it to her sister — even if they weren’t giving the same courtesy.

She just hoped she could talk some sense into her brothers — they weren’t going to like any of this.

*

Charlie woke up to the sun streaming across her face from her living room. She had stayed up late waiting for Five — she needed him to catch her up and his plan for the End. It seemed like she fell asleep on her couch waiting for him to come home. She wasn’t surprised — the couch was comfortable and she felt safe with the Green around her.

She stretched on the couch a little more and settled in. She didn’t feel like getting up right away. As she closed her eyes, she angled her body to get some more sunshine, allowing it to warm her to her bones. As she did, she smiled a little. It was a small joke from their childhood — that Charlie could be nourished by the sunlight like her plants were.

Mom had told her she just had poor circulation so she was always a little colder than her siblings. Charlie had solved that issue by staying in the sunshine whenever she could — and when her siblings found it funny, she leaned into it. It was just a small thing but it made her siblings happy. She’d do anything to make them happy.

Eventually, she gave a deep sigh and heaved herself from her spot. She knew she would have a busy day and needed to get a start on it. As she was getting her breakfast ready for the day, she frowned out the window - she didn’t think it was supposed to rain today but the weather forecast had been wrong all week.

As she locked up her apartment, she went down to the main floor to gather some food. If she knew Five at all, he would be running on almost empty and while dad had prepared them to fight in sub-optimal conditions like that — he was now dead and couldn’t control them anymore. She went into the back room and grabbed a backpack from her Homeless Bags, shoving some children’s clothes for Five. She’d never tell him that they came from the kids’ section of the store but they’d be the only ones that would fit.

It was completely ridiculous that he was still running around in the Academy uniforms. Charlie knew that only Luther still kept his — the rest had destroyed them on their way out the door.

She brought the bag back out to the Tree and filled up the empty space with baggies of nuts and some loose apples and carrots. They were Five’s favorite when they were kids and she hoped he hadn’t changed enough that he wouldn’t eat them now.

Finally packed with everything she thought she’d need for a day of dealing with Hargreeves Family Bullshit, Charlie left the Flower Shop to track down Five.

*

Allison was frowning down at her plate. After her discovery the night before, she and Luther spent most of the night going over the tape again and again and again. She was tired of trying to find ways to either blame Mom for what happened to Dad or to absolve her of her actions.

They had left the security room to find Mom, trying to get some answers about that night.

And Mom couldn’t give them any of the answers they needed. Instead, she was more focused on making them so breakfast - which looked delicious.

“We need a family meeting. We need to decide what to do with Grace.” Luther interrupted her thoughts.

“With Mom.”

Luther sighed but agreed, “with Mom.”

“Well, you can collect our brothers and I’ll gather our sisters.”

“Why do you get the easy job?” Luther was almost whining and Allison didn’t blame him but no way was she going to try to track down their brothers if had a different option.

He shut up quickly at her look.

“I guess I’ll be looking for our brothers. Any suggestions on where to start?”

“Well Five did stay here last night and I think Klaus might have as well. So 2 out of 3?”

He just sighed again. She laughed at him but didn’t offer to go after them herself. She was going to enjoy the time she had with her sisters this morning —  much less annoying.

*

“Do you seriously still not understand the chain of custody? If you touch it, I can’t use it.”

Diego smiled to himself just the smallest bit. As much as he loved helping people, Eudora made his day so much better whenever she appeared — even if it was only to yell at him.

The smile fell off his lips at the sight of the bullet though — that particular kind was manufactured in the 1960s so he was confused why it was in a recent shootout in 2019.

He lifted his hands to show off the gloves he carries with him — Diego didn’t like the Police Academy, but he remembered much of the policies and procedures they had drilled into his head. And he made sure to follow them whenever he was working closely with the police. He didn’t want to ruin Eudora’s career as much as he believed she’d like it so much more doing it his way.

“Let me save you some time running ballistics. These nine-millimeters haven’t been manufactured since 19-”

“1963. Odd, I know. Matching casings were found at a murder scene last night. Ishmael’s Towing.”

Diego followed Eudora as she started to move away from the crime scene, focusing on what she was saying.

“The driver?”

“Found him hanging from the ceiling. Looks like he must have known something after all.”

“It’s a shame nobody told you to go talk to him,” Diego tried not to brag too much but it was hard not to sometimes. He knew that the driver would have important information and he had told her as such — if only they would listen to him occasionally. He smirked at Eudora’s look of irritation.

“In the span of 24 hours, I’ve had attacks in three different places across town. Whatever this is, whoever this is, they’re not slowing down. So, if you really give a shit and you’ve got any fresh ideas, I’m all ears.”

Diego had to give her a fond look at that. He loved her for her heart. She adored the city so much she’d ask him for help — even if he didn’t follow the rules.

“The guy’s kid, in the doughnut shop?”

“I’ve got units tracking the extended family in case anyone goes after him.”

“Well, this place must have surveillance footage.”

“No, it doesn’t exist. The first unit on the scene clocked two shooters fleeing the premises, wearing, get this creepy kids’ masks.” Eudora sounded completely done with the case.

Diego gave a deep sigh. He didn’t know when the city decided to go completely crazy but he was worried. He wondered how much extra time it would take if he added Charlie’s shop and Vanya’s apartment to his route. The rest of his siblings were staying at the Mansion and were protected there but not his sisters. He absentmindedly decided to do a daytime run of the path as he answered Eudora’s non-question.

“This city is really going to shit, huh?”

*

Five grimaced as he ran the needle through his arm. He couldn’t believe that he let those two get the jump on him like that. He really was getting old if Hazel and Cha-Cha got the better of him. And of course, the only band-aids that were in the house had childish trains on them. Trains! Of all things.

6 more days then he’d be dead or drunk.

He wiped the blood off his wound, dressed once more in the awful Academy uniform, finished packing his back, and opened his window. Normally he’d either Jump or take the front door, but he needed to conserve his energy and that meant no Jumping or aggravating talks with his siblings. He just knew that they’d have a load of stupid questions for him that he didn’t have the time to answer them.

Of course, it was his luck that Klaus was dumps- dumpster diving?!? Why was this his life and why did he want to come back and save his siblings again?

A flash of Luther’s hand outstretched to pull him up; the glint of Diego’s knives killing the men attacking him; the feeling of Allison holding him up when his repeating Jumps left him weak; Klaus’ babbling a comforting background noise; he and Ben curled up in the library together; the flicker of Vanya’s uncertain smile; the sight of raspberries growing up between his bed and the wall when Dad was being stingy with the food as a lesson.

He sighed deeply. He could try lying to himself all that he wanted to but of course, he was going come back for them. They were the only things that kept him going all those years.

He ignored that thought — again — and proceeded to ignore Klaus’ inane muttering as well. Five didn’t have time for him right now.

“I’d ask what you’re up to, Klaus, but then it occurred to me…I don’t care.”

“Hey!” Klaus laughed as he moved to the edge of his dumpster, “you know there are easier ways out of the house buddy?”

“This one involved the least amount of talking. Or so I thought.”

“Hey, hey, hey, so…You need any more company today? I could, uh…clear my schedule.”

“Looks like you’ve got your hands full.”

“Oh, this? No, no. I can do this whenever. I’m just-”

Five rolled his eyes when Klaus slipped and fell back into the trash.

“I just misplaced something. That’s all,” Klaus’ voice echoed out from the dumpster. “Oh! Found it! Thank God!”

Five grimaced slightly as he watched Klaus take a bite of a half-eaten bagel. He was completely certain that that bagel wasn’t Klaus’. He couldn’t say too much, however. He’d eaten much worse in the apocalypse.

He had saved Charlie’s food for as long as he could — her fruits and vegetables always lasted longer than normal — but eventually, he finished them and had to struggle to find food.

Now, though? Klaus had the option to not eat that but decided to do so anyway.

“Delicious.”

“I’m done funding your drug habit.”

With that, he turned and walked away. He didn’t need Klaus for what he had planned for today and he knew that Klaus had the singular habit of extending conversations to longer then they needed to be.

As he walked down the alley, he spotted a large van parked at the end. That was exactly what he needed.

He thought about picking Charlie up as he started the engine and made his way out of the alley — he wanted some intelligent conversation and maybe a second set of eyes.

*

Klaus ignored Ben’s judgmental stare boring a hole in the side of his head as he spat out the bite of bagel he’d taken. He’d had enough of that through the years that it was second nature.

What wasn’t second nature was ignoring the peach growing into existence right in front of him.

He beamed though! Only one person could do that and right now she was his favorite sibling. He turned and spotted her coming down the alley from the opposite direction cranky Five had left in.

“Schwester! Beloved Charlie, you’ve blessed me with a delicious peach but do you think I could get some apples as well? I’ve been having the craziest cravings for them lately and-”

His sentence was cut off when Charlie, the darling dear, grew some apples and shoved one in his mouth. He just took a bite from it, chewed, and swallowed. He may not have been the smartest of the bunch but he knew better than to anger Charlie girl. He remembered Spring of ‘03. Plus he wasn’t going to waste an apple. He hadn’t been lying when he said he was really craving one. He packed up all the newly grown fruit and stored it away in his various pockets. He wasn’t going to waste any of the food that she grew — she had a talent for it, after all the practice she had when they were young.

As he was chewing, he flapped his ‘hello’ hand at her and felt warm when she repeated the gesture.

“As much as I love you dear schwester, I can probably guess you’re looking for snarky little Five?”

When she nodded, Ben’s comment of “why isn’t she actually talking? I haven’t heard a word from her yet,” was only barely heard as he gave Charlie directions on where their smallest brother left to.

When she left to follow Five, she first leaned over and gave him a faint kiss on the cheek.

What a treasure she was. He finished up the apple and turned to continue his dumpster dive.

He had to find that stupid book.

*

Five made it to the end of the next block before the passenger side door was opened and a bag was tossed at him. He had spotted Charlie’s distinctive hair when he glanced right earlier so he was too worried about what was in the bag but he still winced a little when it hit him. He reached into the bag as he made a right turn and laughed a little when he grabbed an apple. He shot Charlie a glance and a small smile, which she returned before he focused again on the road. He wasn’t going to try having a conversation with her until he could give her his full attention.

As he pulled up across from Meritech, he sat back a little in his seat and fully opened up the backpack. It was stuffed full of easy to eat food that Charlie had Grown for him as well as a change of clothing in his size.

“Trying to tell me something?”

Just that you look like an idiot roaming about in that stupid Academy uniform.

“Well tell me what you really think, then.”

Tell me what to watch for and go change in the back.

He made sure she could see him roll his eyes but started to tell her about Meritech and everything he had managed to find out about it yesterday. He was startled when he heard a croaking sound come from the front seat. His head popped out of the pullover and glanced at his sister. She was laughing. Huh. He finished changing, glad to be out of the uniform, ignoring the warm feeling that was growing in his chest.

They spent a couple of minutes catching each other up on what happened since he left her at the Academy when he left with Klaus before Charlie shifted to look fully at him. He gave her his attention and waited for what she had to say.

I’m gonna head home. There’s a couple of paperwork things that popped up yesterday that I need to deal with, then I might make my way back here or to the Academy. I have a feeling that the house is going to be the center for everything this week. Make sure you eat everything I packed for you, ok?

“You know I’m older than you right? Like decades older than you?”

Like that’s gonna stop me.

She reached over and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze that he reciprocated before she left the van.

Five watched her walk away for a while before he once again focused on his mission. He would only admit it to himself but damn was he glad to be home.

*

Vanya didn’t really know what she was doing here — visiting Leonard at his store. Being with Leonard at all really. But as she gazed around at all the beautiful wood carvings, she gave a slight smile. They really were gorgeous. She took a closer look at the smaller figurines he had placed on the shelves.

One of them took her back to her childhood. It was a small bench with some flowers placed at the base of it — it was nothing too special but it reminded her strongly of some of the happiest days she could remember.

Charlie was always found outside, whenever she had the chance. Mom had even joked sometimes that Charlie was more plant-like then they thought — that she could gain her energy from the sun in the same way her beloved plants could. The seven of them laughed at that a little but it was true. She was at her happiest when she was outside surrounded by the Green she grew and the sun that nourished them.

The one memory Vanya was thinking of though — it was all of them outside. They were probably thirteen years old and Dad was away on a business trip — he’d even taken Pogo with him so it was just the eight kids and Mom. They had free run of the house and light schooling, no training to speak of. That particular day, Vanya remembered, it was blue skies and sunshine. It was special because the rest of the week it had been pouring buckets — they had been stuck inside and left to entertain themselves with what they could find in the various corners and cracks that the mansion had. But that day; the sun was shining, the breeze was blowing, and the birds were singing. Mom had let them sleep in and had agreed to allow them to eat outside for both lunch and dinner.

And during the afternoon, Charlie had Grown the most beautiful garden the rest of them had ever seen. There were flowers bigger than her head with colors she didn’t think possible. And the smells! Oh, every next step brought a new smell and they were all glorious. Charlie had Grown the various flowers into amazing shapes and structures but Vanya’s favorite were the benches found right in the middle of the garden. Created from some sort of vines and trees, there were four of them big enough for three people each. Charlie had also grown their favorite fruits and veggies, even branching into nuts, all over the backs of the benches so they could snack as much as they wanted too.

As much as Mom loved them, she had a strict order to not feed them too much. But with Dad and Pogo gone, Mom had taken to turning the other way so she never saw it when Charlie Grew them more and more treats to eat.

The eight of them had laughed and played and joked with each other all day, showing off their powers — they’d even convinced her to bring down her violin to play for them. Vanya knew she wasn’t very good yet, not at that age and only having been playing for a couple of months but when she played that afternoon…she was on top of the world. It was the best concert she’d ever given and she didn’t think she’d ever be able to top it.

They had fallen asleep outside that night, under the stars with blankets made of grass, curled up together.

It was one of Vanya’s most cherished memories — she didn’t even place it in her book; she didn’t want anybody to be able to ruin it.

And one little wood carving managed to bring back that sense of happiness and contentedness that had been missing from her life — only weeks later Five disappeared and the home felt a little more like a house.

She left Leonard’s shop that day with the little violin player and the garden bench.

[raviposting]

Is it too obvious to do for Ben + Klaus brotp?

It is not too obvious, I am loving the different Hargreeves sibling duos that I keep getting asked, this is great!

who steals french fries off the other’s plate so as from my last asks, I said that Klaus would be one of the ones who steals fries from people’s plates but in this specific case Ben would definitely be an a-hole about it and like, hold Klaus’s hands back as he’s taking Klaus’s fries

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple asdfjkl so again with them being brothers this is gonna be them going in for a cheek kiss but Klaus definitely does this to Ben and just meets Ben’s hand and Ben is like “Sorry, we’re not, I definitely have better standards” and Klaus just goes “Hey!” and they start bickering 

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail I meeeeeeeeean season 2 basically proved this is Ben right lmao 

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues Man okay so Ben is the one who gives very straightforward advice to Klaus even when he doesn’t want to hear it, but he can be very comforting. Before they figured out that Klaus could make Ben corporeal, Ben would try to hug Klaus whenever he was feeling sad about a romance gone wrong :( I also feel like they probably had more than a few moments of comforting Ben as well because I don’t feel like Jill was the first person he had a crush on honestly? Like he’s probably seen other people and thought “okay, wow, they’re really cute” and then got sad because no matter what he can’t be with someone else - heck even friendship wise, Justin has said Ben viewed Klaus’s friends as his own and he probably did have crushes and I wonder if sometimes Klaus would maybe try to comfort Ben by spending more time with someone Ben enjoyed being around, or doing activities that Ben enjoyed - okay wait we’re going way off base and I’m Extremely Sad now MOVING ON 

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes ;aldkja;klj they both do this and they end up basically play-slapping each other while the other Hargreeves siblings essentially ignore them and continue playing the game (not that they’re not going to start fighting like literally 5 seconds later when Five throws down a plus four on Diego, but you know. They pretend to be better for all of those five seconds).

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk Ben!!! It’s like what I said in one of the other asks, that as a ghost he’d beg Klaus to just call top bunk so that Ben could sleep there too. He loved just sitting up and looking at how different things felt high up and Klaus didn’t always super love the bottom bunk anyway so they’d always just end up there 

who starts and who wins the pillow fights ahahha they totally did this when trying to figure out how to make Ben corporeal (and honestly, with Baby Ben too). Ben picked up the pillow and smacked Klaus with it and Klaus was like, “Okay you little shit” and started hitting him back but honestly they were both cackling the entire time 

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush a;lskfj;aslkfj honestly probably Klaus and I’m genuinely imagining him saying this to like, a ghost that Ben has a very obvious crush on and the ghost is like, “I uh....I don’t think I can change my clothes.”

Send me a BROTP!

[acuriouslilthing]

Umbrella Academy S2 R a n t

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SPOILERS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note: This is totally my opinion. Don’t like, don’t read. Also, I haven’t read any of the comics. This is all based on the Netflix series. Please don’t attack me. 

I’d say, season 2 was a jumble. It was quite dizzying. The characters had many ups and downs in developments. The transitions were so w t f. There were too many arcs. The relationships were. . . And the plot had such a similar theme to the first season. With that, let’s dive in. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHARACTERS

I’ll go into the characters each in a bit but here’s an overview. The characters were sort of a mess? I’d say in terms of the main characters, Allison, Vanya and Ben were the best (Ben wasn’t even there frequently). The worst being our Luther and Klaus? (Don’t get me wrong he’s one of my favorite characters but I think this season did him quite dirty?) 

-Number 1/Luther: MOON BOY!!! Yeah no I really didn’t enjoy watching him this season. Actually scratch that I didn’t enjoy watching him in season 1 either. It’s nothing against his daddy issues, I’m sure most if not all of the main characters have them. It’s just how he deals with it? His want for a father figure goes on to a mafia rich guy named “Jack” who he got acquainted with after getting stuck. I’m all for finding father figures who’d treat you better than the original but seriously? Lmao we don’t even see Jack after abandoning him for one lost fight. Which I guess parallels to Mr Hargreeves abandoning him but weren’t we supposed to let Luther develop? Idk, He’s just such a lost puppy. As well as his is addiction for Allison. It’s just so unhealthy I c a n ‘ t. I just couldn’t see his development. Hell, he disagrees for saving the world then goes on to do random ass stuff that is so unnecessary. I visibly groaned whenever he was on screen. Not caring about the apocalypse? Fine. Getting high with Elliot? oKaY. Telling Diego to find the siblings while he tries to coax Five, only to fall asleep? WHATEVER. Just, why did they have to make him so useless sometimes. The scene where he was with both young and old Five, he just bullshitted around. LIKE I’M SORRY LUTHER BUT PLEASE. His power was quite confusing too? He got shot by the bullet but survived a nuclear missile huh?? Anyways, the actor playing him did a great job. There were scenes I really just wanted to sigh but Luther looked so cute like a lost puppy. 

-Number 2/Diego: In the first few episodes, I was extremely iffy with him. Some of it came from the fact that season 1 Diego was just so ;-;. Anyways, his obsession to save Kennedy was a bit out of hand. I get it, he wanted to save a life he knew that was in trouble, especially one so important. But I wish he stopped to think first. I mean, he chose that over the end of the world HAHA. Mm though I suppose I think I started enjoying watching him more when he reunited with Mother? Speaking of the mother, his interactions with her were so cute. He loves her so much and just seeing her there alive..I don’t know he was more sympathetic. That Team Zero shit was so sweet even if it didn’t pull through. He became much sweeter though still an idiot. As always, he had daddy issues too and I wish we dwelled more into that. Seeing him vulnerable was nice. Also him entering the commission was so badass?? Like damn. I guess his character grew a bit more this season which I’m satisfied with. 

-Number 3/Allison: I loved her so much this season. She was such a badass queen. There were rarely scenes I’d facepalm at. I think it’s because Ray brought out a much better side in her. She was the most stable of all the siblings but I don’t think that says much. Her marriage was a bit out of hand at one point, I’m glad she was able to fix it. HOWEVER, the scenes where she abused her power was very irritating. It was never mentioned again. They brought it up but didn’t do anything with it. That can be highly used against black people as a whole. She did that in a room full of white people and I can only think of the consequences that could leave for their movement. Or it will go unaddressed. But I hope that isn’t the case. 

-Number 4/Klaus: I love this man. He’s one of my favorite characters as a whole. But. . . what the fuck happened this season? It’s like all his development by the end of season 1 was just tossed out the window. He was sober and although he didn’t like it, he was one of the ones who kept trying to bring their siblings to the problem. It’s just his sober self in season 2 just gave me vibes of his drunk self in season 1. I guess it’s more on his personality and who he is but it was so interesting to see him when he was trying. Instead, I watched him lead a cult. It shows that he’s really not the leadership kind because he doesn’t know what he’s doing with himself, better yet how is he going to lead a cult? I guess he needed some way to survive but damn. Also I thought Dave, if not his siblings, was going to be his first priority. I know he ended up finding Dave already but why was he after the cult.  Klaus half the time he didn’t do anything. There was a big waste of power for Klaus because he wasn’t even able to use his to full capacity. There was that one shot where he was falling and caught by other ghosts which was the only time other ghosts were seen. The only time he used his power. The season 1 ending had such an OP Klaus but it led me to expect more from him this season. Like, remember that point where they were trying to reach Vanya but it was from Allison to Diego to Klaus to Ben. The part when it was Klaus’s turn, I really think he could’ve used his powers to have the ghosts push him. He was giving himself the talk and everything and then he just flew back only for Ben to just stare. And as seen, Ben wasn’t affected by the whoosh the ghosts thing could’ve worked. He ended up feeling a bit like a plot device for Ben this season. I really hope in season 3, he’ll be able to develop his powers and develop himself as a character. Also for the record, I cannot believe he didn’t tell anyone of Ben?? I remember that clip with the “Klaus, is Ben here?” and he responded with ghosts can’t time travel and jazz. I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A JOKE?? But he ended up n o t telling AT ALL. Like I love you Klaus but your brother misses your family too. I was just so frustrated at him this season.

-Number 5/Five: This boy is one of my other favorites. He’s just so fun to watch. I guess it does with the amount of times he warps and uses his powers. His development on his powers were 10/10. In terms of personality, he’s still the same old grumpy pants but the amount of times I wanted to reach the screen and shake him I swear. I know he rushes so much but I remember he was watching a stripper or singer or something in the place where Luther was and was that really the time? He needs to tell his siblings before rushing head first. Funny how he keeps saying let’s think of a plan but as soon as he has one he goes with it. The Reginald Hargreeves plan wouldn’t even be able to go if not for the invitation. I swear this boy always has something going on which is why it’s so fun to watch him all the time. He just wants to save his family. And he’s just throwing hands every time a plan fucks up it’s funny and then he starts a new one. I’m sure he blames himself a lot for getting his family stuck. I wish he had time to develop his mental state. But I understand he was busy all the time. Though to be honest, Allison is probably the only stable one, they all needs help. Hmm I’d say he grew a bit more from the first season, though again the first few episodes of this one were sorta infuriating because he was basically repeating what he did in the first. I hope he can finally rest in the third season or at least take a b r e a k(HAmiLton). They made him super badass already, I’d love to see more of it but I want to see him more when he gets to actually talk to his siblings about anything else. I look forward to his season 3 arc.

-Number 6/Ben: HE WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CINNAMON ROLL THIS SEASON I LOVE HIM. The one iffy part was when he possessed Klaus and was about to have s e x in Klaus’s body and not give back his body LMFAO. Poor baby just wanted to feel it though. He missed it so much and he missed his family so much. HE ONLY GOT TO REUNITE WITH DIEGO AND VANYA. Both times, hit just as hard. Though Diego never asked about him again probably because Vanya told them all about how he...Ugh, I wish he was there more to interact with the other siblings. KLAUS THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD’VE TOLDKFHJD. His scenes were so precious. My heart cried when he passed away to Heaven. He was just so gentle with Vanya. You’re my sister. AGH CHILLS. He was such a beautiful sibling to Vanya and I hate it so much how he wasn’t able to have more.  He was a true hero. He should’ve had more scenes. I don’t know what season 3 is going to bring for the “new” Ben but he looks more aggressive and edgy than the old ones so I’m not going to have any expectations. 

-Number 7/Vanya: This girl is always in such pain, it was nice to see her happy for once. Though I am a bit iffy with the relationship with her and Sissy because it looks like there’s an age gap but I don’t know, I’ll go more into it later. No, it’s not because they’re two girls, I’m bisexual myself. Anyways speaking of gender, most fans say she’s bisexual but I’d head canon her to be pan sexual more than bi. I feel like she really doesn’t give a fuck about who she is with as long as they love each other and that’s sweet. We stan representations. As for her character, hmm she was okay. She’s still unstable but in the end she’s just a hurt baby that’s been through a l o t and just wants a family. I’m glad she was able to use her powers more. High key Elsa vibes. She was not bad this season but I wish she knew how much she couldn’t bring them. The extent of the time travel world. But I know she just wanted love after having such a lack of it. I hope to see her get love she deserves in season 3. More specifically, self-love. Because these past 2 seasons, she’s been putting so much on that one person that I want to see what she does for herself. Maybe pick up that violin and go girl~

In terms of side characters, 

*THEY PUT HAZEL THERE FOR TWO MINUTES AND THEN HE DIED. WHAT. I know it’s probably better that way but damn, he was one of my favorites. I’m glad he was able to live a peaceful life with Agnes. He deserved it

*RAY IS MY MAN I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH! He stays calm and collected most of the time. He does what’s right. He’s a much better choice than Luther. I’m sad we had to let him go but it was going to come sooner or later.

*Lila..She was such an intriguing character. Just, she was so dumb at some points, especially near the end. I wish she thought more analytically. I guess she’s like a more emotional female version of Five. Her fight with Five was pretty cool. She probably got with Diego because they’re mummy’s children HAHA. Her powers were so bad ass though. We’re prolly going to see more of her in the third season which I look forward to. 

*Reginald Hargreeves, bruh are you an alien. 

*Pogo.. He was cute but I thought we’d see more of him.  But I mean he’s just a baby so I guess eh. 

*Mom was beautiful, she DESERVES MORE SCENES INSTEAD OF EVERY 2 EPISODES FOR 2 MINUTES. 

*The Handler was not bad I suppose. I mean I loved her in the first season. But here she wasn’t as terrifying anymore. She’s a hella good manipulator but of course it was going to bite her in the back. I was honestly looking forward to fish guy though. I hope she stays dead just so that we can see our future villains. 

*Speaking of the fish, he was sort of useless. We didn’t get to see any action of him. He’s just a f i s h. We won’t ever know if he was as good at his job as the handler or what not but that’s because he did n o t h i n g. A F I S H. 

*The Swedish villains, they were eh. Not gonna lie, the first few episodes or so, they were hella boring. Not as fun as Hazel(WHO THEY KILLED IN THE FIRST FEW MINS) and Cha Cha. But their sibling ship was really heart felt. And every time one died.. Just ;-;.

*Herb was such a precious soul. I hope he doesn’t die in season 3. 

I think the problem was that some of the characters were just on standby half the time. 

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RELATIONSHIPS

The way they treated and interacted with each other is what makes the story so appealing, the familial, platonic and romantic. The relationships here were fine but I just wanted to bring them up. 

Romantic

-Allison and Ray: What a 9-10/10 couple. The reason why is because there’s a line Allison said that made me so...what? I remember when she reunited with Luther she said something along the lines of “I just, I needed something to hold on to. And Ray gave me that” SIS. That sounds like such REBOUND energy. It doesn’t sound like she chose Ray, it sounds like she needed someone to depend on and Ray was there. I’m sure their relationship grew eventually but to say that about him to her ex or whatever they are. She’s in a vulnerable state, and to say something as minor as I needed him does not seem healthy. Relationships shouldn’t always be a need-need relationship. Allison needs to be her independent person and fall in love when she’s ready. If she’s just doing it because she needs someone to hold onto. What kind of love is that? Aside from that note, their whole relationship is so precious. I love how much Ray stays by Allison but he doesn’t take her bullshit. Like he is strict with knowing the truth because he needs to know he can trust her and that she can trust him. And you know what, she pulled through and told him. Because she loves him. I’m glad they didn’t kill him off or separate them because of Luther. It’s sweet.

-Diego and Lila: I didn’t like it until we knew of who Lila was. Because honestly if Diego got with her, that’d reflect on how much he changed from dating a cop to a complete psycho. But no, there’s more depth in Lila which made her interesting. Their dance scene right after was so nice. It was like a fight for dominance and it reflected how they thought of each other. Though, when she started choosing Five over Diego it went downhill. Diego was so lost because Lila didn’t trust him with whatever shit. Lila was just going around playing mummy’s girl and getting flustered whenever the handler mentioned him. It made her look young. Then when she captured Diego and called him boyfriend I got so lost. Then later Diego calls them exes. THEN WE FIND OUT THEY’RE ALSO BORN ON THE SAME DATE. They’re not as bad as Luther and Allison but still, they could’ve been siblings. Their relationship goes up and down so I’m not really sure what to think. I don’t see Lila bringing out the better side of Diego. I only see Diego doing it. I think Patch was a better fit because she was emotionally stable. But maybe when Lila gets her shit together then perhaps?? 

-Vanya and Sissy: Uh...This is definitely going to be an unpopular opinion(im saying that as if most of what I said is not unpopular) but this relationship gave me eh vibes. Like I don’t really know what to say about this one. I’m all for LGBTQ+ representation and of course Vanya being happy but. I think, again, Vanya must be her own girl. She shouldn’t be someone to be protected or get validation from protecting. She should be her own girl fighting and figuring out herself. I think another iffy thing is Sissy was a mother who was stuck in a bad marriage. My thing with that trope is that usually, the love interest saving the mother is someone who’s ready to take them. Yes I know Sissy shouldn’t have to live unhappily. But depending on a girl who doesn’t have self-independence, emotionally unstable with her own unstable family. Yeah, no wonder Sissy didn’t come with. Just the deal is Vanya depended on her like a lost child with a mother. It looks motherly. I’m not judging from looks, I’m judging from the treatment. Plus, their first kiss, they were drunk. That’s a sign within itself. Yes, they didn’t regret it in the morning. But Sissy was in a vulnerable state. She was crying. And I guess I thought it was going to be eased in like “I’m really happy you’re in my life Vanya.” BWAM KISS. Instead it went like “You tell me how you let her go. Tell me and I’ll do it.” “Sissy I can’t--” KISS. THAT DOESN’T SOLVE THE PROBLEM, in fact she interrupted Vanya because she was so emotionally drained. All the emotions and weight of it, into that kiss. It’s not like a drunken confession, she’s crying about a problem beforehand. Not a problem on her sexuality, but a problem on her life. And... kissing doesn’t make all the pain go away. Running away doesn’t make the pain go away. I don’t understand the message this show is trying to give us for this but I don’t like it. I know they were aiming for simple life simple family but.. as said, it’s never going to be simple.

-Klaus and Dave: I just felt sad. This was so pitiful. They did them so dirty. Also, I know it’s not the show’s fault because they changed actors but Dave looked so young. In season 1, he looked about the same age as Klaus if not older.. In season 2, he looks like a precious baby boy. Like, I know they changed actors but I couldn’t get the vibe out of my head. But back to the main point. I feel like their relationship was sadder. Dave ended up going earlier. As well as he might avoid anyone who looks like Klaus because it would sort of be creepy. What hurt most is when Dave punched him. That hurts. Poor Klaus, again, he didn’t even get to say goodbye properly. He has to deal with losing him again but since we get less Klaus scenes this season, we can only speculate. I wish they could be together but they never could. One of the saddest love stories. 

-Ben and Jill: I want Ben to be happy, I really do. But... he’s dead. He was doomed to have no love interest from the start. Though it is cute to see him crush over her. But the concept it a bit weird you know? He possessed Klaus to get to her and he was about to have sex in Klaus’s body. That says a l o t. Plus we didn’t really get to explore Jill as a character. So I didn’t really care about her and we prolly won’t ever. But I hope wherever Ben is now, he can vibe peacefully.

-Allison and Luther: I hate this. They’re siblings. It’s not all of them being under the same roof, it’s all of them being raised by someone who adopted them together. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF NOT BIOLOGICAL. I’m so glad it got called out this season. Though, it’s so hard to see them as just siblings now because of how often it gets called out. But no. just no.

-Sissy and Carl: Um. I don’t know what to think but both of them were unstable af. I wonder why Sissy married him in the first place if she didn’t want to commit to him. I guess Carl was a different person? Hmm, he manipulated her for sure but that’s because he wanted the family to stay together. Around the time he was about to shoot her that’s when it was clear they weren’t a fit at all. But I think Carl could have improved before that scene with Vanya. Fucking disgusting. But, honestly before that scene I couldn’t tell if he was genuine or not. Cause, he did look like he loved Sissy while Sissy would give off looks. It’s pitiful. But eh, this is the unhappy marriage trope so...

-Reginald and Grace: This was heart breaking. I genuinely loved seeing emotion on Reginald and Grace was a perfect match. When they broke up I AGH. I wish they had more moments. 

Familial(I’m highlighting important ones but feel free to skip) There were less. and there was a LACK OF FIVE AND KLAUS. Their dynamic was one of my favorites in the first season. 

-Luther and Vanya: I was hesitant in their reunion. Mainly due to the fact that we get a panel of Luther holding a gun. But, I’m glad he didn’t end up doing anything. I’m also glad he apologized. Their relationship is unsteady but it’s growing ish. But aside from the first few episodes, we don’t really get much. I’m just glad he’s not being shitty to her.

-Luther and Five: Ngl Luther’s incompetence gets made up from Five’s competence. It’s funny. When there were two five’s it was so f u n n y. Luther was just panicking everywhere. He was like “He hAs A  pOiNt” and then like “oh no we’re going to kill him???!??!”. It’s cute I guess. Though when they first reunited, it was annoying as hell. I thought their dynamic was going to be lame but this wasn’t bad I suppose. 

-Luther and Diego: Hehe. They are highkey two brain cells left energy. If I remember correctly, the first season contained them fighting over what to do or who’s “leader”. They didn’t have as much moments this season but I remember Diego chasing after Luther when Luther threw hands. It was cute in a sibling-y way.  They were okay. I mean, as okay as any unstable family but it was nice seeing their meaningless little fights out of the way.

-Diego and Five: It was like arcs talking to each other. Diego was basically representing “Save Kennedy!” while Five was like “END OF THE WORLD”. Lucky for them that it was connected. But if it wasn’t, imagine that huge waste of time. Anyways, they were okay-ish. Five didn’t want to deal with Diego’s shit half the time but that’s just Five. Their connection grew after Diego went to the commission because I mean, they can now both relate. However, Diego only stayed there for a little bit while Five stayed there longer. And Diego was only recruited because his “girlfriend” wanted him. But either way, they now have something more to talk about.

-Diego and Ben: This was a cute heartfelt moment. And.. honestly I wanted more. Not just with Diego and Ben but with Ben and well EVERYONE. But at least this small moment was given. Just, Diego’s realization that it’s Ben. His dead brother. It hurt you know. 

-Allison and Klaus: This duo I swear. I don’t really like it because I’d say these two are the chillest aside from Vanya. Their reunion was really sweet true but the way they dealt with problems? Allison is the more sane of the two yet Klaus’s influence helps her relax. However, Klaus is unstable and Allison didn’t really help him exactly. She just drank with him. Yes, she asked him how he was. But right after she goes to drinking. EVEN BEN WAS SMILING WHEN SHE PUT DOWN THE FLASK. And then she promoted more booze. That’s a way of coping for some people. But, I don’t think the time was right. Klaus was trying to be sober. I don’t think promoting what he’s not trying to be is a good idea, especially at that time. Then for Allison, I mean as Klaus said himself “Allison, your marriage is in trouble and your rally turned into a riot”. She shouldn’t be drinking either. She should be thinking of what to do. It doesn’t take until later. 

-Allison, Vanya and Klaus: Their dance was really cute. I loved it so much. It’s what I wanted from season 2 in the first place. The siblings to have fun with no weight of the world on them. Allison and Vanya’s reunion was so sweet. I loved every second except the part where they got drunk and started to be like LeT’S coNfEss mY lOVe. But, it did get the plot along. I’m just happy they found solitude in each other while their other brothers were a fidgety mess.

-Five, Diego and Luther: Speaking of that fidgety mess, these three were all over the place. There were some funny moments like Five being so done and changing his clothes. While Diego and Luther were like h u h ? And they also had moments where they talked about daddy issues. Also when Luther and Diego found Elliot dead and threatened a person until Five came was hilarious.

-Klaus and Ben: Ngl, I found this relationship very bitter because KLAUS WOULDN’T LISTEN. Ben keeps trying to say something or prove what he should do but Klaus keeps ignoring his remarks. It’s very unhealthy especially when Klaus has the upper hand. He doesn’t even give Ben the chance to interact with his other siblings. While Ben misses them dearly. It’s heartbreaking to watch. 

-Five and Vanya: I LOVED THAT MOMENT WHERE THEIR POWERS BATTLED. Even if it was for a split second, it looked so cool. Anyways, I don’t have much to say on this one because they didn’t interact as much I’d say but it was chill. A chill siblingship. Though, Five was being rude when he completely disregarded the fact that Vanya has people she care about in that time. He was too focused on the end of the world and that’s okay but he has to understand his siblings. I’m not using it against him though, he doesn’t exactly know how to read signs. But when you put them together by the end, it’s nice seeing Vanya having more control of who she is instead of being pushed around.

-Five and Reginald: It’s interesting. Five hasn’t seen his father in a long time and there he is. And, he’s scared or if not scared then hesitant, really hesitant. His father is someone who treated him like shit but he is someone who also raised him and has the knowledge to who he is.Of all the people, he looks to him when there’s no other choice. It’s interesting to see this because Five rarely hesitates. And seeing a man who has no real threat to him in that timeline but he knows how much he has hurt him. It’s breathtaking. Among all his children, I’d say Reginald gravitates to Five the most because as said he’s the most reasonable. As most theories for season 3 would suggest, Reginald probably chooses different kids because he’s seen how fucked up his kids are in the past. But, he talked to Five and I just wonder why he’d not choose him. I guess just speculation that Five was also fucked up. Anyhow, their bar scene was nice. It was simple yet had a lot of weight to it, especially to Five. Another scene I liked is when Five was spying on Reginald in the closet thing and Reginald stared at it. It was a shot of them looking at each other with Reginald having the authority while Five hides. It’s a nice frame to think on and what it means for them. 

-Vanya and Ben: I FUCKING LOVED THIS. Even if it was one scene, I could replay it all day. Because Vanya, a woman who has been numerously ignored or pushed aside as a threat by her own family, finally has one family member who thoroughly cares...And he’s dead. She’s been through so much and no one ever seems to take her as her own person which is so depressing to watch. Until Ben. Ben was so peaceful and gentle with her. He knew she could explode at any moment but he also knew that she’s hurting and scared so God damn much. She feels like there’s something wrong with her and she doesn’t even feel like she’s deserving to live. And Ben took the time to phrase it gently but had so much weight to it because of how true it is. “You aren’t a monster, you’re my sister.”He reassures her that she is not something to be afraid of, not a ticking bomb. But a person who he loves deeply, his sister. He reassures her she’s not alone. He makes sure of that and he lets her know he believes in her. I just loved that so much. He was the only one who reached out when it felt like everyone was against her. And she opened up to him because he was the only one who would listen. That’s so touching and I’m so glad they had that moment. I’d say that was the best moment in the whole season. Their relationship says it all in that one scene. 

-All of them: It would be such crack energy + daddy issues whenever they were all in the same room. It was entertaining but half the time they fought or bickered so it sometimes didn’t go anywhere. I wish they had more fight scenes though because they’d look united as a family whenever they were against the same enemy. But I suppose we’ll have to wait for season 3 to see that.

Other

-Five and the Handler: The Handler character gives major pedo vibes. So it’s very uncomfortable when we watch her have those little touches on Five. It’s very meticulous in showing their relationship. Five doesn’t want anything to do with her while the handler just keeps getting closer. Their fights back and forwards remind me of Sherlock and Moriarty. It’s all big game and gamble. Though for Five and the Handler it’s less of a game. It’s fun to watch I suppose but I would’ve liked to see another force opposing Five aside from just The Handler all the time. She’s a good contrast to his character though. He always refers to her when there’s nothing else. And we get to see his soft side with his siblings and how he wants to keep saving them and how he always emphasizes it. 

-Five and Lila: Half the time if not most, Five wanted nothing to do with her. It was hilarious in a sense that Five was oblivious for most of it. Lila was a pained girl who had anger to take out. And Five was there, being an asshole. Yeah, in the mental side, Five was a bitch while Lila being emotional is not a good match. Their power fights were really hard-core, I loved it. Their original connection was through the handler and Diego then morphed into the whole killing parents thing. It was fun. 

-Five and Five: This was hilarious. Too fucking good. Though, it gave me headaches thinking of all the times where if this Five dies then... Plus this time older Five has the correct formula now which could change? But that’s for a different timeline now or universe. I enjoyed watching them. When they were “fighting” it played one of my childhood bops. They oppose each other so well that it’s so comedic. It’s a nice touch.

-The Handler and Lila: Mother Gothel and Rapunzel or Thanos and Gamora vibes-- Anyhow, their relationship was very manipulative but hey that’s the handler’s specialty. It was okay, just a regular villain deceiving lost child trope. Though this one had more loyalty on Lila. For, this one had more love put into it. I’m not sure exactly if the handler loved Lila for real but we see shots where she takes care of Lila and takes pictures on her in a pretty dress. That’s cute which is understandable to why Lila is always so hesitant in picking between what she wants and what her mother wants. But as seen in the first half, she chooses Five. She chooses her mother. That’s a strong bond they got even for the handler. Though I guess it’s safe to say that the handler doesn’t really care about Lila if she was ready to kill her. I suppose Lila just brought amusement and help but as soon as she’s useless, gone. (Same with Mother Gothel and maybe Thanos?)Honestly though I got confused at one point because didn’t the Handler badmouth Lila’s parents? She said “Her mother who rescued her from those gin-addled, neglectful parents--”. If Lila didn’t believe in those words, she would’ve interrupted. If Lila did, then why did she care so much if they died? Yes, they are still her parents. But, she was so defensive over who killed them in the second half of the season. She kept calling them innocent and such. It was a bit out of the blue I suppose but eh.

-Ray and Luther/Klaus: It’s important to note that Ray is fighting for black rights as well as his wife. Now, to find out that she might’ve lived in a “white” world is a  big shock to him. I can understand why that anger was built. I’m not going to go into detail because I’m sure others can explain it better than I can but in general, Ray felt betrayed by Allison. His expectation of her once he sees Luther and Klaus. Yet, Klaus is more likable since you know he helps him out of jail. They had cute moments in jail too. Luther looks lost af and I just don’t like how aggressive Ray becomes when he sees him.

-Harlan and Vanya: It’s probably setting up for the future plots but I found it unnecessary to give Harlan Vanya’s powers. honestly during the whole time he was screaming and shit, I was just like...Is that...Will from stranger things?? BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM WERE POSSESSED BY SOMETHING OUT OF THEIR CONTROL. But anyways their relationship is okay, Vanya helps him calm down but I guess it would’ve been nice to see more bonding. 

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PLOT

-There were so many arcs-too many. To the point where it was such a jumble of what was going on. From activism to queer rights to daddy issues to mafia to mental asylum to a broken family to more broken families to etc. All leading to the major plot of “the world is ending”. I get it, they were trying to make the story more eventful. However, some of them were pressing issues that should be used more than a plot device to move the story along.

-I know each character was separated to shine individually but I wanted to see more group work.  We already saw their individuality in season 1, this was just a different environment. The only group work where they all were looking badass was in a timeline that ceased to exist(Specifically the one where they fought during the Soviet Union-Us War). They sort of worked together in the end but LMFAO half the time some of them were pinned or just not doing anything.

-I have to say, this whole season just gave me a hardcore repeat of the first season. Again, all the siblings are separated. Again, Five goes looking for them but then goes and fucks around finding plans/leads. Again, the siblings fuck around. Again, the commission tries to hunt them down. Again, they are tricked to killing each other. Again, Vanya is the cause but this time they were able to mend it. Again Again Again Again. Just please. I was really looking forward to seeing something new. I wanted to see their younger selves because by the end of season 1 they turned younger?? But instead we get a repeat of season 1 with a bunch of differences that weren’t able to be fully expounded. It’s like this season was a plot device itself for season 3. It was used to find out more characters and find out more of the universe. While the mental stability remains the same.

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NOTES

~Sissy’s family. I don’t know what to say about this family. It’s obviously fucked up. Harlan is just like confused majority of the time. While Sissy and Carl have so many issues. I really had hope for Carl until that homophobic remark and the fact that he tried to shoot his wife. I know I know it’s obvious to see Carl as the asshole immediately but it would’ve been nice to see a change of pace where Carl is worth staying for: He cares about his son, he wants to keep the family together and he cares whether or not Sissy still loves him. And therefore giving Sissy more of a hard option. It adds more depth. But eh. 

~Transitions/Editing. I guess it’s the same as the first season but for me, the transitions felt more abrupt and off-timing. Like, sometimes it would show Luther after 2 scenes when I’ve been waiting for Five after four scenes. It made my head spin, especially with the amount of arcs. But I guess that’s normal. As for editing, the part where Ben possessed Klaus, I really wished they made it Ben sooner because for 2 minutes I’m just staring at Klaus. It was okay though. 

~The commission. As said earlier, the villains weren’t as entertaining. I loved the three brothers but to say they were more fun to watch than Hazel and Chacha? Mm. Not it for me. More heartbreaking sure. But not more fun. Anyhow, the commission seems like one big mess within itself. It’s so easy to go in their building and mess up time. I mean, what kind of security do they have? No one was protecting board control room thing. I’m not undermining Diego but ?? It seems like high school where people can just slip in and out easily. Also, the amount of commission that died from that last fight. That was a big yikes. I understand their role in the story but it was very undermining to watch them.

~Previous season 2 hopes. I really thought they were going down the child route. Like, I thought Five would bring them back to the time where they all were still children aka still being raised. This would include Ben being alive. This wouldn’t keep the same pressure as the apocalypse but instead a new one on how to prevent it but still being years from that time. They know it’s Vanya and this time they’ll take the time to understand her. They’ll take the time in understanding each other. Frankly, some of my favorite parts of this season would be when they’re bonding. Because they rarely get to do that in season 1. This season 2 would be bonding-centric, while dealing with their powers. I mean, aside from those few flashbacks in season 1, how badass would it be to see it in real time? We would get to explore their capabilities. It would make them look united, it would make their mental issues seem addressed and it would let them have the playful youth they deserve. I guess that’s more of a fanfiction idea though. Most fans probably wants more action than affection so I understand why they took this route. Probably because they wanted to keep the same actors too. But still, it would’ve been nice. 

~Season 3 hopes. Not going to lie, my season 3 hopes are probably a bit similar to season 2. The only difference is age. I want their mental issues to be a d d r e s s e d.  With the lack of apocalypse, there’s going to be less pressure on their shoulders. Especially Five. I’m looking forward to what he’s going to do in his free time. I’m looking forward to see what they all do without that much pressure on their shoulders. They’re obviously going to be more bonded now but will they just keep away again? As for the new group, I honestly thought they were going to be them but raised differently but I guess not. There’s definitely going to be more of an interest on Ben. It’s a whole new one and I’m interested in seeing how their powers and dynamics work. As well as interactions with the OG UA. Though, I feel like it won’t be major in terms of them going against each other. Like, of course they will have one point because I’m sure some of them are competitive af. But, it’ll be more fun than more of a problem. I’m sure they’re all going to unite as one against an opposing force. Maybe an alien arc. Reggie being an alien is also probably going to get addressed and will also maybe become a problem about alien invasion, unless they leave that for later seasons. Lila is also going to come back I bet. I hope no more handler. And if the commission is involved in any way, make them more fun to see in their world building. I’m looking forward to seeing them all though. 

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Overall, as most movies or shows, I think the Umbrella Academy is a wonderful concept with so many interesting stories to tell but execution could need more work. As well as script. Though I’m not saying it’s all bad. Of course there were moments I’d laugh at, of course moments my heart ached and of course moments I loved. It’s not all bad unlike-- Anyways, it was a nice adventure and I’m looking forward to what season 3 has to bring~~

[badsext]

Kid Klaus’ Christmas

The Concept: Hazel and Cha Cha go back earlier in time (before Five even learns about the apocalypse) to storm the Hargreeves mansion and take him out. They bungle it again…

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, drug use, underage drinking, violence. —————————– Fourteen year old Klaus wakes up from another night of barely sleeping. He listens for the others. Nothing. So he reaches under the mattress for the bag of weed he’s been hiding from Mom. He stuffs a towel under the door, rolls a sloppy joint and lights it, takes a few drags. It is strange to be the first one up, he thinks. But he just shrugs it off and pops a new mixed tape into his Walkman, one he made for himself with songs from The Smiths, The Cure, and Depeche Mode, songs of aching and longing.

Klaus lays back down, pulls the headphones over his ears and closes his eyes to enjoy his moment of peace before morning drills. Grace always knocks. He makes sure the volume is just low enough to be able to hear it. He smokes until the joint is so small it burns his fingertips, hides the evidence and sprays some cologne he stole from Diego. Klaus’ stomach is rumbling at this point, so he gets dressed in his uniform and ventures out of his room to see if breakfast is ready.

All the bedroom doors are open. The hallway is empty. The kitchen is empty. “Mom?…Pogo?” Klaus snatches a banana to eat while he continues to look for signs of life. How early is it exactly and where did everybody go, he wonders. He goes into the parlor. Mom has decorated - a tasteful Douglas Fir and literal boughs of holly. Funny how little they actually celebrate, but it’s Christmas Eve and at least the place looks the part. Klaus checks the old reliable grandfather clock for the time, but becomes deeply distracted by his reflection in the glass.

Something suddenly catches his eye. Moving figures in the courtyard change the shape of the light streaming through the adjacent windows. A twinge of fear sends Klaus to hide behind a column and peer through the curtains to see who it is. If he did miss drills, that probably means more hours locked in the mausoleum. To his surprise, there are two suited masked figures with guns standing in the snow. Maybe this is a test.

Hargreeves believes that guns are a crutch, especially for those with powers. The only gun in the house is Reggie’s old big game hunting rifle in the garage, which is too far away to be of use at the moment. Klaus needs a plan, but first he needs to hide, so he heads for the attic, his favorite hiding spot. Reggie wouldn’t be caught dead up there among the dust bunnies and old junk - that was the servant’s domain, so it was a good place to escape the old man’s torment for a while. The floorboards in the mansion make creaky music in certain spots, but Klaus has them memorized so he could avoid them when sneaking out at night.

From the attic with his ear to the floor, he can hear the intruders. “This place looks empty. It’s Christmas, right? I thought the kid was going to be here.”

“Well, look around. If we don’t find him maybe we can get a clue or something. Climbing that wall was a real bitch. I’m not leaving empty handed.”

“Let’s split up. Check all the rooms. We can’t fuck it up like last time.”

Last time? Who are these people and which kid are they looking for? Am I just paranoid?, Klaus considers the fact that he’s still pretty stoned. But if this is real, as the apparent ‘man of the house,’ he would need to step up. Scared, angry, demoralized…Klaus is all of these things, but he loves every one of his siblings and would be damed if he’d let a couple of masked assholes hurt even a hair on their heads. He determines that whatever he does, Reginald is likely to throw him in the mausoleum for more ‘conditioning,’ so he might as well just go for it.

Klaus takes some old drawing paper and a charcoal pencil from an unmarked box. Here he finds drawings, elicit ones of Hargreeves at his worst. Some are funny, some are just accurate. Maybe he is not the only one using the attic to escape. He regains his focus and begins sketching out a map of the mansion. If they are searching the bedrooms, he’d need to start at the other end of the mansion setting traps. They have been taught this skill, though Klaus has spent many of these lessons high, as he’s recently discovered how it provides some relief from his terrible power. He’d have to get creative. He looks around and spots Luther’s old dumbbells that are no doubt too light for him now. Maybe he could wait from above and drop them on these fools cartoon anvil style. He reaches for one and struggles to lift it, but it won’t budge. Nope. Okay, what else do we have up here…

He locates some darts, sharp ones that Hargreeves once made them throw at each other for practice. When they asked why they couldn’t use targets, Hargreeves insisted that they needed to feel a sense of urgency or it was a waste of everyone’s time. When the children hesitated, Hargreeves threatened them with punishment, as if it wasn’t punishment enough. Grace provided first aid for the resulting wounds. It was a miracle nobody lost an eye. Klaus stuffs several of the darts into his pockets.

Diego brings his knives any time he leaves the house, so Klaus wouldn’t have access to any of those, but the kitchen is full of knives and other sharp and heavy things. Allison has a flat iron in the bathroom that could come in handy. He recalls having experimented with it on his naturally curly hair. He could hear the chime of the clock in the distance. It was time to get serious. He collects some rope, super glue, and a flask he’d stashed up there for emergencies. It’s lighter than he remembers. Klaus suspects he’s not the only one using liquid courage. It is another reminder that he’s not the only kid suffering at the hands of his father. Whoever those goons downstairs are after would be counting on him. He hardens his resolve and climbs down the ladder to execute his plan.

In the kitchen Klaus rigs a mixing bowl full of every knife, blade, scissor, corkscrew, basically anything sharp and a blunt instrument or two above the door with the hope that something is bound to fall at the perfect angle to do some damage. It is hard not to make noise, but the kitchen is one floor and several rooms away from the bedrooms where the villains are searching. Klaus oils the floor as he exits and moves onto the parlor.

He finds a few packs of replacement violin strings on Vanya’s music stand. He ties them together between the columns to create a zigzag pattern. If it does’t trip them up at least it will slow them down, he figures. He hears them arguing in the distance followed by a loud crash and a chorus of metal clangs. 'Yes!’ Klaus celebrates silently with a little wink to the taxidermied owl on the wall.

“Now we know you’re here setting your cute little traps! We’re gonna get you, you little bastard!”

Klaus hurries up the stairs to the bathroom. He snatches Allison’s flat iron and applies some eyeliner, a little war paint, while he waits for the iron to heat up to 450 degrees. He brings the hot iron to Reginald’s study. Klaus removes the millionaire’s garish portrait to reveal a safe, a safe to which he knows the combination and has for months. He’s never taken anything, for that there would be hell to pay. He just opens it from time to time, touching the objects inside for the personal satisfaction. He sticks the hot iron inside, hides the cord and leaves it wide open. Then he stands at the base of the stairs. “I’m right here. Don’t you two have guns?”

Klaus dodges a barrage of bullets that miss as the bumbling assassins trip through his maze of wires. The chase is on. Klaus runs through the study and out through the other side, squeezing a generous layer of super glue on the door knob and closing the door behind him. The bad guys enter the study. “Hey look at that,” the big one sees the open safe.

“There’s nothing in there. Why would they leave an open safe with something in it? I’m sure the little shit took everything of value,” the short one replies.

“No, there’s something in there,” he insists, reaching blindly inside and grabbing the hot styling tool. He screams, shaking his burnt hand.

“You’re an idiot,” the short one goes for the door. Her hand becomes stuck. She is sure to lose some skin removing it.

By this time, Klaus has called the police and is waiting in the foyer. He goes to sit and is startled by sudden sharp pains in his thighs and buttocks. He remembers the darts in his pockets. The villains stumble down the stairs. Their masks are gone and it’s clear they have taken a beating. Each of them have handkerchiefs wrapped around their dominant hands, now barely able to hold their guns. This is the first time they have seen each other close up and face to face. Klaus is nervous and frightened.

“Hazel, is this the kid? I don’t even think this is the right kid.”

“Jesus, Cha Cha, I don’t know. Whoever he is I’m gonna kill him.”

A spark of recognition comes over Cha Cha’s face. “This is the kid - the guy in the towel we kidnapped…the junkie with a choking kink. Look at that face and add fifteen years.”

“Holy fuck. You’re right. Grab him. I want to make an example of this one.”

Klaus starts throwing darts as they approach. Police lights flash outside. It is too late to escape now. They are surrounded on all sides. Klaus has the satisfaction of watching them get taken away in handcuffs. Cha Cha’s words made no sense…well, most of them. Klaus is pulled aside for questioning. They give him a blanket and a glass of water while they take his statement. When Hargreeves and the rest of the clan return home, the police turn their questions to Hargreeves. Klaus overhears the police being offered and accepting money for their silence. The kids look at Klaus incredulously, too afraid to say anything in front of their father. Diego comes up to Klaus. “I tried to wake you up, but Dad said we needed to leave you behind…I was going to say you missed a wild mission today, but it looks like you had one of your own…That’s pretty cool how you managed to capture those two. Merry Christmas, man.”

“Merry Christmas.”

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