#I also wasn’t here for the 2020 content so I don’t know how any of them would be as streamers except for dan | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shutupptara · 2 years ago

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‘tis the damn season - nathan mackinnon

summary: set during the 2020-shortened season- you’re home for christmas when you run into one nathan mackinnon on a grocery run. it’s been years since you’ve last talked, let alone seen each other, but it’s quickly like no time has passed. and the road not taken looks real good now..

i’ve been writing this since 2020. much like all of my writing i’ve posted, you have @kat-hearts to thank for this. she lovingly bullied me into finishing a piece i hadn’t touched in years. set at christmas, but not a christmas story. also set during the pandemic, so reality is very hand wavy (aka the nhl pushing the season happens, but lockdown isn’t reallllly a big deal) so if that bothers you, maybe skip this one.

is this any good? i honestly don’t know, but i know i loved writing nate so pls enjoy

word count: 13,151

warnings: alcohol use, strong language, explicit sexual content MINORS DNI, a general disdain for life and choices made, a tiny bit of angst, hating on Florida (it’s okay i live there) a LOT of self indulgence

title from ‘tis the damn season by Taylor Swift

It wasn’t that she didn’t like returning home for holidays, it was just a huge ordeal every time it happened. Not only was it a 3,000 mile trip, there was always ice and snow to contend with. Coupled with her well-meaning, albeit overbearing, neighbors, the holidays get to be a bit much for her to handle. Still, there’s something wonderful about the tranquility of home. Refreshing, really. With a year as stressful as 2020 had been, it was a blessing to be able to return home for the holidays.

Her first true day of Christmas break, her mother begs her to go to the store for her: there’s so much baking to prepare for, and while she is happy to do the shopping for her, she knows it’s so she won’t see her wrapping presents. Even at 26, her mom insists upon marking her gifts ‘from Santa’, and the nostalgia of it always makes her smile. So, against her better judgment, she ventures out to the closest Sobeys. She has her jacket and scarf pulled tightly around her, unwilling to admit to herself she really can’t take the cold anymore, but mostly wanting to hide to be in and out as quickly as possible.

She grabs a cart on her way in the store, unlocking her phone and holding it open in front of her, eyes sweeping across the list her mother had sent her with. It isn’t terribly long, thankfully. She makes quick work of grabbing what she needs, moving down the aisles long ago committed to memory with ease. Various other things get tossed into the cart as she moves: chocolate covered pretzels, a case of Diet Coke, her favorite cheese crackers.

When she reaches the wine aisle, she shrugs to herself, deciding it’ll be best to have some on hand, in case of an emergency. She grabs a bottle of Roscato for her mom, and two bottles of cab for herself. Once they’re safely in the cart, she makes her way to the checkout line. There’s quite a few people crowded there, and she tries to maneuver around to a shorter line, her brow furrowing when she spots a rather large looking man a few feet in front of her.

As she gets closer, realization washes over her. “Nathan MacKinnon,” she stops in her tracks, heart swooping in her chest. “As I live and breathe.” It comes out before she really even processes what’s happening.

He turns, almost as if in slow motion, his eyes widening when they land on her. “My god, it’s been ages. What are you doing here?”

She smiles slightly, suddenly hyper aware of how messy her hair is, and the fact that she hadn’t tried very hard when getting dressed this morning. “Could ask you the same thing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you home for Christmas.” She knows for a fact she hasn’t. It was the one reprieve of being back in Cole Harbour - Nate was never here.

“Yeah, I’m usually not,” he shrugs. “I uh, you know with the year as crazy as it’s been, and the season being pushed, I’ve actually been home most of the year. Hanging out with Andy, Sid, Jack, Pete...” There’s a longing look on his face, mirroring the ache she knows is lingering in his chest. There’s an identical one inside of her, and she knows she’s to blame for the pain Nate’s dealing with. This wasn’t a particularly easy run in for either of them, but it’s almost refreshing in a way? She doesn’t care about the buddies he’s spending his time with, she would’ve asked if she did, but it’s obviously important to Nate she know, and she doesn’t want to read too much into that. Maybe he wants her to know he’s not spending time with another girl, and she hates that part of her is hopeful because of that but it’s not fair to be. She can’t expect him to stay single forever, simply because being here and seeing him has every feeling she’s ever felt for him rushing back.

“Sounds like you’ve been busy,” she laughs. “I’m really glad I ran into you.” There’s a surprising amount of truth to that. God, it’s been almost eight years since she’s seen Nate, even in passing, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t followed his career. She’s from Canada for Christ’s sake, of course she follows hockey.

“I am too,” Nate grins. “Hey, you should come by later. There’s a few people coming over, no one you hate,” he raised his eyebrows and she can’t help but laugh. “No expectations, just drinking and fun. It would be nice to catch up.”

Without hesitation, she’s blurting out, “I would love that.”

“Great!” Nate exclaims. She can practically see him center himself in that moment, try to keep it together.

“I’m staying at my parents’ house,” she offers. Though I would much rather be with you, her mind continues, and she shakes her head to try to clear it. “Are you still two doors down?”

Nate reaches a hand up, rubbing the back of his hand awkwardly. “Nah, I bought a house when I signed with the Avs. It’s a bigger one, out on Albany Terrace. I think you’ll like it.”

She smiles brightly. “I’m excited to see it.”

“Yeah?” Nate mutters.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.”

“I’ll text you the address,” he offers. “Guess that means you have to give me your number.”

___

She makes a substantial effort to not show up right at 8 pm. It’s difficult, as she’s been a compulsively early person her whole life, but this time it feels necessary to be “fashionably late”. It helps that she fusses with what to wear for over thirty minutes- this shouldn’t be a big deal, and she doesn’t want it to be, but that doesn’t change the anxiety that’s swelling in her chest. She tells herself this isn’t anything to stress, it’s just catching up with an old friend and if things are awkward, she can always leave. Still, as she pulls up to Nate’s house, she realizes there’s a part of her that’s a tiny bit excited.

She takes in a slow breath as she kills the engine, nodding to herself as she climbs out of the car and heads up the walkway. She’s clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels in her left hand, never showing up empty handed instilled in her at a young age. She rings the doorbell, glancing around curiously as she waits. Her heart is pounding, and she’s ready to turn and bolt back to her car when the door swings open.

Nate’s standing in front of her, a soft smile on his face. She lets her eyes sweep over him, admiring the beige cable knit sweater straining over his shoulders. He looks so relaxed, so incredibly casual. “Hey! So glad you made it. Come in.” He steps aside, closing the door behind her. “That a bottle of Jack?” She can’t do anything but nod, holding it out to him wordlessly. “You haven’t changed a bit,” he laughs. “Everyone’s in the living room. There’s food in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”

Nate leads the way through the house, stopping briefly in the living room on his way to the kitchen. “Hey guys!”

She peers around him, relieved to see there really wasn’t anyone she hated in attendance. Pete, who she's known her whole life and his girlfriend Hannah are first to greet her, ushering her to sit beside them.

“Hey squirt, it’s been ages,” Pete teases.

“You forget I’m older than you,” She laughs. “But yeah, it’s been a long time.”

“Where are you living now?” Hannah asks.

“Florida. Been there for almost five years.” She falls quiet then, eyes glancing at where Nate is still standing.

He fidgets, and clears his throat. “I’m gonna grab a drink.” With that, he disappears around the corner, and she’s left to slump into the couch.

For a while, she mostly listens to Pete talk about his job, or the crappy apartment Hannah’s parents are begging them to move out of. It’s only a matter of time until they end up engaged, she knows, and she’s happy they’ve found happiness. It does little to help her feel like less of a leper, though. As soon as she’s able to find a break in their one-sided conversation, she jumps on it, taking the opportunity to disappear into the kitchen. Nate’s on one of the other couches, talking to Andy about getting a Call of Duty game going, and that’ll be enough to keep him occupied for hours. No chance he’ll notice her absence until she can figure out what the hell she was thinking showing up here tonight.

She heads straight for the freezer when she enters the kitchen, pulling out the bottle of Jack, and grabbing a solo cup laid out on the counter. She drops a handful of ice into the cup, followed shortly after by a hefty pour of the dark liquid. She brings the cup to her lips after taking a long drink.

“Jack on the rocks, eh?” A voice behind her asks.

“‘Tis the damn season,” she mutters, turning to spot Sidney Crosby leaning against the doorframe. She raises her cup to him, taking another long drink.

He lets out a honking laugh, eyes sparkling. “It’s nice to see you again.”

She quirks an eyebrow, “didn’t really think you’d remember me, to be honest.” She had only encountered Sidney a handful of times, and she never thought she’d left much of an impression. Truth be told, she was always a little star struck around him- it was hard not to be.

He furrows his brow, frowning. “Come on, I met you a bunch of times when you lived in Pennsylvania. And Nate talked about you nonstop when you were-“ he trails off, shrugging.

“Pen pals?” She offers. She can tell Sidney doesn’t see it as bitter. There’s a sadness in her voice she probably won’t ever be able to shake when she’s talking about Nate.

He shakes his head, but doesn’t push her, thank god. Instead, he steps into the kitchen, pours himself a cup of Jack on rocks, and clinks his cup against hers. “Here’s to escaping hometowns,” he toasts.

She grins. She takes another long drink, frowning at her cup when she realizes it’s nearing empty. “I think I may get drunk tonight, Sidney.”

He offers her the bottle, “I’m with you. Let’s do it.”

Surprisingly enough, Sidney Crosby is the one to save her from the awkwardness of the evening. True to his word, he does stay in the kitchen and drink with her. They talk about everything from Sid’s most recent cup wins to why on earth she decided Florida was a good place for her to settle down. They tread very carefully on any conversation that can take a turn to Nate, and she’s thankful Sidney read the room. He’s quite fun to be around once you chip away the exterior and he lets his guard down. They relocate to the table in the corner, and keep the bottle of Jack between the two of them, both casually refilling their cups as the night wears on.

When the bottle is almost empty and she can feel her head swimming, she jumps at the sound of another person entering the kitchen. “Ah, this is where you’ve been hiding.” Nate takes the seat beside her at the table, his leg bumping against hers as he maneuvers his chair. “Should’ve known you’d ditch me for Crosby.”

Opposite them, Sidney snorts. “Nah, just needed a drinking buddy, is all.”

“Sid is surprisingly good at drinking Jack,” she offers.

“Yeah?” Nate grins. “Seems like you’re pretty good too. Have you eaten anything?”

She taps her finger against her lips, considering, before shaking her head dramatically. “Nope.”

“Maybe we should fix that...”

Again, she shakes her head. “No room for food. Just alcohol.”

Nate smiles at her, and even in the haze of the alcohol, she feels her heart warm. It’s that same fond smile she’d loved so much when they were together, and she knows she can’t let her mind run away from her, but at the moment, she can’t rationalize why that’s the case. “In that case, let me break out the good stuff.” He stands up, heading to the cabinet above his stove. There, he grabs a fancier looking bottle, a dark brown liquid sloshing around as he carries it over to the table. “Crown Royal XR, so you never forget where you came from.” He takes the liberty of pouring her and Sid a glass before fixing one for himself, and reclaiming his seat.

She sniffs the liquid in the cup, eyes widening. “Ooof.”

“Don’t quit on me now,” Sid goads. He nudges her with his elbow, giggling.

She shakes her head adamantly. “Momma didn’t raise a quitter,” she announces. She raises her glass, waiting as Nate and Sid follow suit. “Here’s to Cole Harbour’s golden boys.” She sees Nate roll his eyes, but he’s smiling when he brings his glass to his lips.

She takes a long drink, her tongue flicking out to lick her lips. “Oh, that is really smooth.”

“Everything’s better when it’s Canadian,” Sid pipes up.

She giggles at this, which makes Nate quirk an eyebrow. “There’s no arguing that point, Florida.”

“Come on, Florida isn’t that bad,” she insists.

Nate looks to Sid, then back to her, shrugging. “The fact that you have to say it that way doesn’t help your case.”

“It doesn’t snow there!”

“Boo,” Sid says.

“How do you even survive without hockey down there?” Nate adds.

“Shut up, there’s hockey! My friend Nick would argue Tampa is a huge hockey town. Wait- oh my god!” She cuts herself off, looking around excitedly. She pats the pockets of her pants, pulling a face when she can’t find her phone.

“What are you doing?” There’s a distinct amusement in Nate’s voice.

“Where’s my phone? I wanna FaceTime Nick. He always gives me shit about knowing y’all. He pretends he doesn’t believe me because he’s never met you, so somehow that means I haven’t? I don’t even know...”

“Nick your boyfriend?” Nate grumbles, voice low.

She just snorts out a laugh, and takes her phone when Sidney slides it over to her. She clicks around on it for a second, then the distinct sound of a FaceTime call fills the room. She drums her fingers against the table impatiently, eyes lighting up when the line clicks on.

“Hey!” An excited voice fills the room.

“Hey Nick! What’re you up to?” She keeps the phone close to her, keeping Nate and Sid out of the frame.

“Well, it’s almost one in the morning on winter break so obviously I’m drunk with Garrett.”

“Tell him I said hi,” she insists.

“Sure. What’re you doing?”

Her eyes light up again, and she grabs her glass excitedly. “I’m also drunk, but I wanted to show you who I happen to be drunk with.” She downs the rest of the liquid in her glass and slides her phone back farther on the table, angling the camera to capture all three of them in the frame. “I give you Nate MacKinnon and Sidney Crosby.”

“Holy shit. That’s- fucking hell, that’s actually Sidney Crosby!”

She chuckles, turning the phone to face Sid and he waves awkwardly. “I told you, you don’t grow up in Cole Harbour without knowing the pride and joy of the city.”

“But you said you’d only met him a few times! And Nate MacKinnon too, what the fuck...”

“In the flesh. Oh, and Nate wanted to know if you were my boyfriend before I called.” She peers over at him, watching his cheeks flush pink. He opens his mouth to protest, but Nick quickly cuts him off.

He laughs, shaking his head. “Just one of my best friends, dude. You have my blessing. I know she would love to date a hockey player.”

“Yeah? Good to know.” Nate smirks.

“On that note, we’re going back to drinking now. Just wanted to humble brag real quick.” She flashes a toothy grin. “I’ll make them get dinner next time they’re in Tampa. Maybe you and the whole crew can come along.”

“Yes, totally! Have fun! Merry Christmas!” She wishes him a Merry Christmas back, and she’s ending the call, she hears Nick muttering to Garrett: ‘yes that was Sidney fucking Crosby’. She drops her phone down onto the table then, glancing over at Nate expectantly.

“So that’s Nick, my not boyfriend. He’s a big Lightning fan, and he hates the Penguins.”

“Charming,” Sid laughs. “Seems nice though.”

“Nick’s the best,” she agrees. “He and Danielle get me through living in Florida.”

“Ah, so you do admit Florida sucks?” Nate presses. He offers her another drink, and she nods eagerly. When her glass is full, he raises his to her. “Fuck Florida.” She taps hers against his, smiling widely.

“Fuck Florida, indeed.”

___

Another hour slips by as the three of them sit in the kitchen. The rest of Nate’s house is quiet, save for the inevitable hockey talk they’ve slipped into. Nate’s sobered during their time sitting there, his attention focused mostly on her and her half hearted responses. Poor girl is exhausted.

“Time for me to head out,” Sidney mutters. He pushes his chair back from the table, clapping a hand on Nate’s shoulder. “Uber’s outside. Thanks for having me, Nate. Nice catching up with you.”

“Bye Sid!” she brightens up, waving her fingers as he giggles and heads out the door. “Then there were two.”

“Sure I can’t interest you in some food?” Nate offers.

She shakes her head adamantly, eyes glossy, head swimming. “No, I told you... no room for food.” She rests her arms on the table, dropping her head down on top of them and peering up at Nate curiously.

He chuckles, resting a hand on her elbow. “Okay, time to get you home.”

She pulls a face, nose scrunching up in disgust. “Naaaate,” she draws out, “no.”

“Come on,” he laughs. “I’ll even tuck you in.”

She narrows her eyes at him, still frowning, “you promise?”

“Cross my heart.” He offers her his hand as he stands, helping her to her feet as soon as she agrees. He hooks her arm through his when she sways, trying to keep her steady on her feet. “I’ve got you.”

It takes some maneuvering, and a lot of patience on Nate’s part, but eventually, he’s able to get her into the front seat of his truck. He buckles her seatbelt for her when he slides behind the wheel, starting the car as she starts complaining about how uncomfortable his seats are.

“Good thing your parents live less than three minutes from here, huh?” He teases. He glances at her out of the corner of his eye, seeing her head slumped back against the headrest.

She’s quiet for a long time, and he has to tear his eyes from the road to make sure she hasn’t fallen asleep. When he does, he catches her gaze. “Nathan?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles.

“You don-“

She shakes her head, eyes squeezed shut. “No, Nathan, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I walked out I just- fuck, I didn’t want to be a WAG. I didn’t want hockey above all else, always. It wasn’t fair for me to do that.”

He’s quiet, hand gripping the wheel a little tighter. “Well, it wasn’t fair of me to make you feel like that would be your reality.” He hesitates, taking a slow, deep breath. After a moment, he nods to himself. “We can call it even.”

He offers her a shy smile, and she can’t stop herself from returning it. She unhooks her seatbelt and slides closer to him on the bench, resting her head against his shoulder. “Deal. Thank you, Mack.”

___

When they arrive at her parents’ house, Nate kills the engine and lets out a sigh. “Come on. Let’s get you inside.” She groans, but sits up straight.

“Fine,” she grumbles. She pushes the door open hastily, climbing out and crosses her arms over her chest. Nate simply shakes his head, taking her arm again and leading her up the pathway carefully. He knows it’s icy, and the last thing they need is the both of them to eat shit.

As soon as they reach the front door, Nate shushes her, trying to remain as quiet as possible while he pulls out the spare key from beneath the mat. He’s done this countless times before, and truly, it never gets any easier.

“Mack, remember when you tried to sneak me in drunk right before you left for juniors?” She laughs. She just giggles even louder when he presses a finger to his lips, eyes pleading. “You always take care of me.”

“I know, shhhh. I always will. We’ve gotta get inside.” Moments later, Nate gets the door open, tugging her across the threshold. He pulls the door shut as quietly as possible before glancing up, spotting her parents in the living room, sitting on couches reading. “Hi guys,” he sighs.

“Nate,” her mom smiles. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too. Sorry about this.. She was drinking with Sid and I didn’t want her driving-“

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” she whines. “I’m perfectly fine, Nathan.”

Her dad gives him a knowing look, chuckling. “Thanks, son.”

“Lucky to have you around, Nate,” her mom adds. “You know the way.”

He nods, tugging on her arm to lead her up the stairs to her childhood bedroom. She grumbles the entire way, complaining about being “too tired to see” or “everything’s spinning, I’m going to die”. Nate can’t contain his laughter, which only seems to frustrate her more. She glares at him when she finally gets the door to her room open, kicking her shoes off by the door and flopping down onto her bed in a huff. “Who let me drink me so much,” she groans.

“That would be Sid,” Nate leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest.

“He’s an enabler.” She lifts her head up, peering at him thoughtfully. “I was afraid to talk to you tonight,” she admits. “And he supported my stupidity to try to make me feel better. At least his heart is in the right place.”

Nate’s brown furrows. “Why would you be afraid to talk to me?”

She pushes herself up into a seated position, crossing her legs underneath her. “A tiny screen’s the only place I see you now.” Her voice is low, eyes cast downward. “I don’t know what we have in common anymore, or if you’d even want to talk to me.”

“Hey,” Nate says, pushing himself off the doorframe and stepping into the room. Two strides bring him over to the bed, and he sits beside her, craning his neck down to catch her eye. “I asked you to come over because I did want to talk to you. Do.” He hesitates, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know why but I never expected to run into you, and when I did, all I could think about was reconnecting and... I don’t know, being friendly again? There’s a pretty big you shaped hole in my life.”

She looks at him, eyes sweeping over every last detail of his face. She wants to blame the alcohol for how attractive she finds him in that moment, but she knows she can’t. Nate has always been gorgeous, and their time growing, apart, has only increased that. “I’ve got a big Nate Mack hole too,” she admits.

Without wavering, he reaches out and rests his hand on hers, rubbing his thumb across the smooth skin there. “Tomorrow, then. I’m coming by with breakfast and we’re gonna play pond puck.”

She can’t help the groan that falls from her lips. “I’m going to be far too hungover to be on skates tomorrow.”

“Should’ve thought of that before you drank half a bottle of Jack,” he grins. “Night.”

___

True to his word, Nate does come by first thing in the morning. She crawls out of bed at the sound of laughter down the stairs, wincing when the light hits her eyes. She manages to pull herself together to look somewhat presentable, though her headache is enough to have her debating hiding under the covers for the day.

“Oh, look who’s up!” Her dad teases. He’s sitting opposite Nate at the kitchen table, reading the paper like this is the most normal thing in the world.

“Morning sleeping beauty,” Nate laughs. “I brought Timmies.”

“Black?” She mutters, reaching for the cup gratefully. He nods. “Not iced, but I guess I’ll live. Thanks.”

Nate rolls his eyes, bringing his own cup to his lips and taking a long drink. “We gotta get you out of America. Not iced, pft,” he scoffs.

“Nate’s got a point, kid. You’re barely a Canadian anymore.”

She gives him a pointed look. “I didn’t hear you and mom complaining in Florida in January last year.”

Her dad grins. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

“Yeah, sure,” she smiles.

“You hungry at all?” Nate asks.

“Just coffee for me,” she raises her cup to him.

“Alright. Should we get going then?”

“A heroic return to my pond puck career,” she jokes. “Should be great with this hangover.”

Her dad laughs loudly, shaking his head. “Don’t let her fall through the ice, Nate.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He flashes a winning smile as he gestures for her to head out the door in front of him. “Your dad was thrilled to help me find your old skates in the garage this morning,” he tells her as they climb into his truck.

She rests her head against the cold window, eyes shut. “Of course he was.”

“It was nice to see them again,” he says quietly. “I always really liked your parents.”

“Good thing, they love you.” And it’s completely true. To this day, her mother still asks her about Nate. What’s he up to, if he’s seeing anyone... it would be sweet if it wasn’t so painful for her to have to relive every time she brings it up. Her dad is thankfully more subtle- they really only talk about Nate when hockey comes up. Of course they both keep tabs on the Avs, and it’s a common ground that is far more exhaustive than her job that her dad doesn’t really understand anyway. All in all, yes, her parents do love Nate, which made their break up that much harder.

Nate doesn’t respond; her words linger in the air like a bad perfume. There’s a kind of expectation to them, a dare to explore what that means and how it makes either of them feel. Thankfully, Nate pulls his truck off the road before they have to broach the subject. Just ahead of them, there’s a frozen pond, a couple of trash cans tipped over on either side to use as makeshift goals. It’s the same pond they’d played on as kids, hours spent skating and laughing together. It brings back a melancholic feeling, one that seems to sit in her chest when she follows Nate’s lead and climbs out of the car. He hands her her skates and a stick when they start walking, eyes focused on the snow beneath their feet.

She laces up her skates silently, glancing over at Nate every so often. He looks like he wants to say something, but just isn’t sure where to begin. She tries no to dwell on it, and instead let herself have a good time today. It’s been a long time since she’s had the chance to skate.

She uses the stick Nate handed her to help stand and steps out onto the ice, skates wobbling as she tries to get her bearings.

“Looking a little rusty there, Gretz,” Nate teases.

“Oh shut up,” she groans. It takes her a minute, but before long, she finds her comfort on skates again. It’s second nature, something she knows she will never forget how to do. “It’s just been a while.”

“Nowhere to skate in the sunshine state, eh?” He skates around her in a circle, turning around and skating backwards so he can face her. “What could possibly make you want to stay there?”

She gives a half shrug. “My life is there.”

Nate nods. “Right. Your job, your not boyfriend...” The smile on his face suggests he’s kidding, but she can see something behind his eyes.

“Nate...” there’s a warning in her voice.

He holds a hand up in defense. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it, I just... what do you?”

“I’m a counselor,” she tells him. She chuckles when he purses his lips, clearly having no idea what that entails. “It’s supposed to be a mental health professional in the schools - someone to help students short term, refer out for bigger issues, teach social emotional skills. I’m just a glorified secretary at this point.”

He narrows his eyes, considering her. “I don’t believe that. You’re too good.”

She lets out a long sigh. “No, it’s true. Nothing I do actually helps anyone, and the one girl I did have a good relationship with, I was too busy to help this year. So she’ll never come back to talk to me now. I’m always a month behind and I don’t know-“ she lets her voice trail off, feeling her eyes sting as they fill with tears. It never hits her like this until she says it out loud, but it’s so alarming to lose your passion. She’s content, but she’s not happy, and it’s hard to feel like she didn’t make a huge mistake with her choices in life.

Nate stops suddenly, causing her to slam right into him. He reaches out and grabs her shoulders, keeping her upright. “Hey,” he coos, “I’m sure she’ll come back to talk to you. This year is unlike anything anyone has ever seen. I’m sure a lot of this is stress.”

This seems to open the flood gates, and against her better judgment, she feels hot tears start streaming down her cheeks. It only makes her cheeks more cold, and she curses under her breath. “I think I messed up, Nate. Florida, counseling, what if it was all a mistake?” She shakes her head, dropping it down to stare at their feet.

Nate reaches out, tilting her chin up with one finger. “Then you make a change. Find out how to be happy again, and go after it.” His hand slides up to cup her cheek, warm fingers wiping away her tears. “You’re incredible. If you made a mistake, that’s fine. Regroup, move past it.”

Her breath hitches, eyes locking with his. She can feel a smile tugging at her lips, her heart warming at his words. It’s an incredible feeling to be validated like this, to know her concerns aren’t ridiculous and she’s not an utter failure for rethinking every decision that’s brought her to this point. It’s tenfold now, standing so close to Nate, her heart beating wildly in her chest. “Nate, I-“

“I believe in second chances,” he tells her. His voice is barely above a whisper now, the rasp sending a tingle up her spine. She can hear the unspoken words behind it, I believe in you, and I believe in us. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but with the way he’s looking at her right now, it’s hard to take it any other way. Maybe she could let herself do this - love again, put her faith in him.

There’s nothing she wants more than to be able to give in, melt into his arms and tell him it was all wrong, but they can fix it now. With his bright blue eyes shining the way they are, she even lets part of herself believe that.

It’s the other, realistic part of her that holds her back. The what ifs and rational thinking of distance and time zones and years past rearing their ugly head. The fear of getting hurt again, or hurting him. There’s just too much to consider, too many sacrifices to ask of any one person.

“I want to believe in them too,” she admits. “But-”

Her eyes tell him everything she’s too afraid to. He inhales sharply, nodding once. “I understand. I won’t push you.” His fingertips brush across her cheeks gently before he drops his hand to his side. A sad sigh falls past his lips, and before he can move to skate away, she’s grabbing his forearm and gripping it tightly.

“We’ll play for it,” she blurts, mostly in an attempt to keep him from walking away.

Nate’s eyes snap up. “What are you talking about?”

“We’ll play each other. Pond puck. And I’ll be yours for the weekend.”

“If who wins?”

“Either of us.” Her hesitance is clear as day on her face, the anxiety swirling in her stomach. Maybe she’s being ridiculous, childlike even, but this is the only way she can give her heart what it wants without giving up her entire life. Albeit how appealing that road looks at the moment.

Gaze narrowing, he purses his lips in consideration. “You’re saying no strings?”

She nods, “I’m saying I won’t ask you to wait for me, if you don’t ask me to stay.”

“So a one night stand?”

Her head shakes slowly, teeth worrying at her lower lip. “No. I want the weekend with you in our own little bubble. I want to ignore reality and just… be.”

“I think we need terms for this,” Nate says. “What’s off limits, what isn’t.”

“Of course,” she agrees. “What you’re comfortable with.”

“If you win, big if, I’m yours for the weekend. You can call the shots; anything you want to do. Fair?” When she agrees, he cracks a small smile. “Great. When I win, you’re mine for the weekend. I’ll call the shots.”

“Sounds reasonable-”

“One more thing,” he cuts in. “You can’t break my heart.”

His words hang heavy between them, shifting the atmosphere. This feels like a contingency meant for more than just the weekend. It makes her chest ache to think about it, but Nate’s speaking again before she can get a word in edgewise. “Alright,” he pulls a puck out of his back pocket, holding it out between them. “First to three, yeah?”

He’s courteous enough to wait for her to get her bearings, both hands on her stick, knees bent, before he drops the puck between them. He taps it a few times with his stick, moving in slow circles. He pauses when they’re face to face again, leaning forward. “I’ll let you have first go.”

“Don’t go easy on me, Dogg,” she teases. “I’m tough. I can take it.” She mirrors his stance, leaning over the puck with her hands spread wide on the stick.

“Game on, babe.” She sweeps her stick over his, cursing under breath when he swipes the puck away from her. He carries it on his stick across the ice, avoiding her attempted checks and steals as he goes. Eventually, she abandons that tactic, instead racing ahead of him and turning to defend the “goal”. She keeps her stick down, watching his eyes to try to read his play. He fakes left, moves right, stopping on a dime as he throws ice across her shins. She blinks and the puck is slamming around in the can, Nate throwing his arms in celebration.

“One down,” he gloats.

She rolls her eyes, flicking the puck out at him. It skids to a stop in front of his skates, and she heads back to center ice, knowing he won’t be far behind. By some miracle, she’s able to gain possession of the puck in the faceoff, doing her best to get a jump on him and head down the ice. In an instant, he’s right behind her, stick held out in front of her, attempting to poke check it away. When she shifts, Nate checks into her from the side, nearly sending her tumbling on the ice. “Okay Mr. Lady Byng,” she laughs.

Nate simply grins at her, taking off after the puck and keeping it a distance away from her ahead of him. Effortlessly, he sends the puck sailing into the trash can, turning around to face her with an even cockier grin. “Not looking too good for you.”

“You’re a cheater,” she mumbles, retrieving the puck and gliding over to center ice. She keeps it in her hand as Nate eyes her, his gaze dragging slowly from her skates to the top of her head. “What?”

He shakes his head, jutting his chin out. “I don’t cheat.” He hunches over his stick, waiting for her to crouch into the same position and drop the puck. The intensity that emanates from him is palpable, his bated breath, clenched teeth only adding to the stakes. When the puck falls from her hand, it’s like time slows down. There’s a frigid breeze across her cheeks, blowing her hair back over her shoulders - the puck clattering against the ice once, twice, before it’s flat and they’re both springing into action. Their sticks collide as they sweep them, neither making contact with the puck at first.

It’s Nate who comes up victorious from the faceoff, stickhandling it until he’s able to turn his back to her. She knows he’s far too advanced for her to out play - his skills are unmatched, so she opts for playing a little dirty, using her own skills to her advantage. When Nate fakes and moves left, she positions herself there, right in front of him. All the air whooshes out of her as they collide, his shoulder pressed against her chest. The startled expression on his face makes her crack a grin, and he’s distracted enough by the move to let her gain possession. Once it’s on her stick, she takes off down the ice in the other direction, keeping the puck out in front of her. She can feel Nate hot on her tail, attempting to swat the puck free, knock her off balance. Her eyes stay fixed to the trash can, and she doesn’t hesitate - just slaps the puck as hard as she can. The bang that rings out echoes through the quiet, and she glances over her shoulder, flashing Nate a triumphant smile.

“Two-one now,” she points out. It’s a ridiculous thing to try to boast about, but it very clearly pushes Nate’s buttons. She’s never known a single person to be more competitive, and it’s admittedly fun to draw that side out of him every now and again.

She can tell she’s struck the nerve when Nate gets huffy, his nostrils flaring as he rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles. “Just get ready for the faceoff.” He reaches down to scoop the puck out of the can, quickly following her back to center ice and watching her get situated. Seconds pass in silence until they’re both ready, and Nate drops the puck.

It’s a hard-fought battle from the moment the puck hits the ice. Nate jumps into action, immediately getting his blade down, trying to gain control. But she doesn’t concede to him as easily this time. She bends her knees a little further, using her body to shove against his side, trying to throw him off. When he chances a look at her, she swats at the puck, nearly situating it on her own stick. Nate chuckles, shifts his weight to his other foot, and steals the puck back. The movement throws her a little off balance, and she reaches out for him on instinct, hand gripping the fabric covering his shoulder tightly. She tugs at it to keep herself upright, ignoring his half hearted scoff when it knocks him away from the puck slightly. Within seconds he rights himself, tearing down the ice toward the goal. He’s impossibly fast, and she knows there’s no catching up to him, so the resounding “clang” of the puck hitting the metal comes as no surprise.

When she lifts her gaze, she immediately spots a grinning Nate skating over to her. The corners of his eyes crinkle in delight. “That’s game,” he breathes as he skids to a stop, throwing snow across her shins. Breath hitching as she draws her eyes up to his face, she notices Nate is so close. Closer than he’s been to her in years, and heart is pounding in her chest. With a clatter, he drops his stick to the ice, tossing his gloves down beside it. Now bare-handed, he reaches up, brushing her hair back off her shoulder. The cold air bites against the skin of her cheek for just a moment before his hand is there, big and warm and so soft. “I call the shots, right?” His voice is barely above a whisper, but her eyes are zeroed in on his lips. His tongue flicks out to wet them after a brief nod of her head, and something in her brain short circuits. Drawing in a shaky breath, she holds it as Nate leans in, lips brushing against hers gently, tentative. On their own accord, her hands are flying up to grip his shoulders, her legs suddenly weak.

The kiss is over almost as soon as it’s started, and it leaves her breathless, eyes blinking open slowly. All she can focus on is the small smile that appears on Nate’s lips, and the deep blue of his eyes.

“Do you have plans later?” Nate mutters.

“No.”

There’s that blinding grin again. “Good.” He leans in, pressing a soft little kiss to the side of her mouth, barely inches from her parted lips. “I’m picking you up at seven.”

___

“Where are we going Nate?” She asks, eyes narrowed. They’re sitting side by side in his truck, driving mostly in silence to their unknown destination. His earlier text was cryptic, merely telling her to dress warmly with a smiley emoji. It’s out of character for him, but mostly she’s surprised he seems to want to be spending time outside. In December. In Canada. Sure it’s been warmer than in past years, but when the sun drops, they’re lucky to be breaking twenty degrees Fahrenheit.

“It’s a surprise,” he says. A small smirk dances across his lips, eyes seeming to sparkle with mischief. He knows how much she hates not knowing, but she understands he’s trying to do something fun too. So she sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, shifting her focus to the road in front of them. “You’ll like it,” he promises. There’s the tiniest hint of uncertainty there, a hesitation that tells her he’s just as nervous and confused about everything as she is. Do they know what the other likes anymore? How much has changed?

“I’m sure I will,” she insists.

They drive in comfortable silence, the low hum of Nate’s truck the only sound filling the air. When she chances a glance at him, she’s met with his calm expression, the familiar curve of his nose, his pursed lips. His concentration is clear as day, and she can’t quite place why it’s so endearing.

Thankfully, she doesn’t have much time to dwell on it. He drives about twenty feet more before he’s pulling off the main road. Immediately, they’re both bouncing on their seats, the uneven terrain jerking them back and forth. Just as she opens her mouth to ask him what’s happening, Nate puts the car in park and kills the engine. Wordlessly, he opens his door, stepping around the truck quickly to pull hers open for her. He holds a hand out to her to help her step down, and keeps a firm hold on it when she’s safely on the ground.

“Nate?” She says finally, head cocked in confusion. They’re parked in the middle of an open field, nothing but trees and the setting sun around them. It’ll be dark soon, and she’s not exactly sure what she should be expecting. “What-“

“Trust me,” he cuts in. He smiles at her when she nods, then leads her toward the back of his truck. He lowers the tailgate with his free hand, then reaches for a handle on the cover. His grip finally drops as he clicks the handle into place and walks the cover back toward the cab. Inside it, pillows and blankets cover the bed of the truck, a Yeti cooler stashed into the corner. When she catches his eye again, he’s sheepish, a bashful smile on his face. “I thought it’d be nice to just sit under the stars for a while.”

“Nathan…” it comes out in a sigh, and she’s thankful for the darkening sky that’s hiding her growing smile. She knows it’ll instantly give away how smitten she is, and that’s a conversation she’s not quite ready to have yet.

“Is it okay?” The hesitation in his voice has her jumping to reassure him.

“Yes, yes it’s perfect,” she rushes.

He dips his chin in a nod. “Let’s get you up then.” He doesn’t wait for her to respond, or really even process his comment before he steps over to her, lifting her easily around the waist and hoisting her up. As soon as her feet are planted in his truck, he gives her a little nudge forward, and climbs in after her. “Sit, make yourself comfortable,” he insists. He busies himself pulling out a flashlight, flicking it on and sitting it in the middle of the truck bed. Next, he’s grabbing food out of his cooler, placing them gingerly beside the flashlight. She merely watches in awe as item after item is taken out: plates, forks, glasses, crackers, cheese, wine, fruits. He’d thought of everything.

“It’s not a meal,” he reasons, “but I figured it’s better than nothing.” He produces a corkscrew from his pocket, then sets in on getting the wine bottle open.

“Nate, it’s wonderful,” she insists. She takes the stemless wine glass as he hands it to her, smiling softly. “Though I’m a little surprised to see you willingly eating carbs and drinking alcohol.” She cracks a grin when he rolls his eyes, making a show of bringing his glass up and taking a large gulp.

“Et tu?” Nate groans, dragging his free hand through his hair.

“I’m just messing with you.”

“You’ve read all the articles, then? Keeping tabs on me?” He lifts his eyebrows suggestively.

“Something like that.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“Nathan.” Her expression is hard, a no nonsense frown on her face. “You do not disappoint anyone.”

He sighs, and passes her a plate of various snacks, keeping his eyes on his hands. “I don’t know how true that is.”

“I do. You’re being hard on yourself.”

He considers for a moment, shrugging. “Maybe. But I need to be. It keeps me disciplined.”

She scoffs, rolling her eyes before popping a cut piece of fruit into her mouth. “I don’t think you need help in that department.”

“I started seeing a sports psychologist,” he mumbles. It catches her off guard, his admission, but it fills her with pride all the same. The Nate she knew before never would’ve taken that step, and he certainly wouldn’t have told anyone about it. That’s growth.

“How’s that been?”

“I like it. Kinda helps me take a step back from things and visualize what I want and how to get there.” He hesitates, opening his mouth before closing it quickly.

“Sounds like there’s a but there?”

“But I don’t know that it's enough.”

“In what way? Like you need more help with your mental health?”

He scrunches his nose. “No, I guess with hockey and stuff. It just-“ he cuts himself off with a sigh. “It feels like I’ve put in the work, and have gotten no results.”

“Because you haven’t won shit?” She offers. She cracks a grin when Nate looks up at her, expression blank. This only serves to make her giggle, and as much as she wants to blame it on the wine, she knows it’s the way Nate shakes his head and cracks a grin right alongside her.

“I haven’t won shit,” he agrees.

“You will.”

“You sound so sure.”

“Because I am.”

“Why?”

She brings her glass up, polishing off the rest of her drink and then sets the glass down. Hesitantly, she scoots forward a bit more, until her knees bump against his. His eyes draw up to hers slowly, the icy blue stealing the breath from her lungs. “Because I know you, Nathan. And you were born to do this.”

“It’s really not feeling like it these days.” There’s so much defeat in his voice it makes her chest tighten. On a whim, she reaches over and takes his hand, rubbing her thumb over his wrist slowly. “Feels more like I can’t do anything right.”

She wants desperately to reassure him, tell him his mind is wrong and playing tricks on him but she knows that isn’t what he needs. He has to navigate this himself. She can offer him support, but this is something he has to figure out on his own.

“I went first overall, I should be doing more for the team. It’s just been first or second round exits year after year. I can’t get us out of this hole.”

“It isn’t only up to you,” she reminds him. “If you feel you’re not playing up to your standards that’s one thing, but you can’t play every position. It’s not fair to entirely blame yourself.”

“Maybe not,” he shrugs. “Maybe I made a mistake with all of this.”

She frowns, eyes narrowing. “With hockey?”

He nods. “Hockey, life. I don’t know. What if I chose wrong?”

“Well, you’re preaching to the choir on that bud,” she says. She hesitates a moment, gathering herself. “For what it’s worth, I know you didn’t choose wrong. Things have been a bit bleak, sure, but you are far too talented to not share that gift with the world.”

Nate’s gaze catches hers, and she feels a shiver travel up her spine. When concern floods his features, she knows he’s felt it too. “You cold? C’mere.” He gives her no time to respond, just leans himself back against the pillows and reaches for a blanket. Once it’s situated over him, he pulls her in close against his side until her cheek is against his chest and his arm is around her back. The blanket gets tugged up to cover her too, and they lay together, cocooned in the blankets under the stars.

“Better?” Nate rasps, and truly, yes. This has made things better. Being so close to him, warm and safe - this is the first time she’s been able to take a deep breath in a long time. But she can’t admit that to him. So she gives a soft murmur in agreement and shuts her eyes to commit this moment to memory.

“I’m proud of you Nate,” she says eventually. “I know that doesn’t really help with all this, but I’m not the only one, ya know? We’re all rooting for you.” She tilts her head up, staring straight into his eyes. It makes her lose her breath, especially when he gives her a small smile.

“I appreciate how much you believe in me,” he whispers. “It does help.” He draws his fingers up slowly, tickling them against the exposed skin where her sweatshirt has ridden up. It forms goosebumps immediately, and she cuddles in even closer, out of instinct. “Being here has been like coming up for air.” He sighs, eyes softening even further. “And seeing you-“

“Nate-“

“Don’t,” he rushes. “We have an agreement, right? You’re mine for the weekend?” The hopeful expression on his face guts her, but she nods. She is. For the weekend.

“Yes,” she agrees. She tilts her chin up far enough for her nose to bump against his jaw, nuzzling it. “I don’t wanna think about after.”

“Then don’t.” He cranes his neck further, until their breath mixes. “Just be here with me.” Gently, so gently, he kisses her. It’s just a tentative brush at first, but it sets her body on fire. Within seconds, she’s hauling herself even closer to him, dropping her body over his as she deepens the kiss. She feels Nate’s big hands come up to grip her hips, keeping her close.

It’s not desperate and frenzied, but it still has her heart racing. The sweep of his tongue across the seam of her lips has her sighing, melting into him. It’s comfortable, warm and familiar, like coming home. She knows she can’t dwell on that thought, so she pours everything she can into Nate instead. Kisses him breathless, then comes back for more.

When Nate breaks away, he lets his head fall back to the pillows, a tiny grin on his face. “I’ve missed this, babe. Missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Nate.” She admits, to herself just as much as she does him. It feels monumental to do so, but she lets herself have this moment; snuggles closer into Nate’s arms and kisses his neck. They have the weekend, and she’s not going to ruin that.

Reality starts to feel a bit distorted after laying with Nate in his truck. In a way, it feels like they’re existing inside a bubble - one that gives them a taste of the road not taken. It’s addicting, with the potential to be heart wrenchingly painful if she’s not careful. But part of her knew she’d end up here. Her and Nate had been so strong before fear crept into her mind. The problem now is figuring out how, if at all, this influences her real life that she’ll be getting back to sooner rather than later.

And Nate, bless his heart, seemed to be doing everything in his power to make this as hard as possible for her. He’d taken the “I call the shots” agreement to heart, planning the entire next day for them to spend together. He arrives at her house thankfully much later in the morning than the day prior, with iced Timmy’s in tow. He leaves a dozen doughnuts and two extra coffees on the counter for her parents, flashing that heart melting smile when she insists he didn’t have to go to the trouble.

“It’s no trouble,” he insists as they’re climbing into his truck. He immediately reaches to crank the heat for her, tugging his seatbelt across his body.

“Well thank you,” she says. “What’s on the docket today?”

He eases the truck out onto the road, his tongue poking out between his lips in concentration. Only when they’re settled into the lane does Nate glance over at her. “Thought we’d drive down to Peggy’s Cove. Walk around a little bit. See the lighthouse?”

Her face lights up at the mere mention. Peggy’s Cove is about an hour from Cole Harbour, and it’s always been one of her favorite day trips. There’s something so wonderfully calming about the shoreline, at any time of year. “Sounds good to me,” she says.

She’s pleased to find how at ease she feels beside Nate on the drive down. They happily flick through radio stations, singing along completely off key. Her cheeks start to hurt from the wide smile she can’t seem to wipe off her face, all thanks to Nate. And god, what a thought that is. She’d certainly never entertained the idea of meeting up with Nate at home, nor did she think she’d find herself riding around in his truck. It feels like an alternate reality and surprisingly, the thought doesn’t put a damper on her mood. It just makes her enjoy it all the more.

Before long, Nate is pulling into a deserted parking lot along the shore. He kills the engine then looks over at her, smiling softly. “Shall we?” When she nods, Nate climbs out of the truck and races around to grab her door for her.

It’s a stunningly beautiful day, but it's freezing, even bundled up against the cold. Despite her tightly wound scarf the wind nips her cheeks harshly as soon as she closes his door. In front of them, waves are crashing against the covered rocks, a soothing symphony filling the air. There's chunks of ice floating in the water, and she shakes her head at just how picture-esque it all is. A rare blue sky day in late December, the sun breaking through the small clouds, its rays reflecting off the snow on the rocks.

Nate turns to her, offering his hand and she takes it without hesitation. His gloved fingers wrap firmly around hers, and they start to slowly walk toward, squinting to see.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been down here,” she admits. “I don’t know how I forgot how beautiful it is.”

“I’ve always loved it here,” Nate says. She glances at him, sees his pink cheeks, his hair blowing in every direction. It makes something in her chest tighten, and she squeezes his hand a little tighter. They make their way closer to the lighthouse silently, simply taking it all in.

As they approach the darker rocks, Nate stops suddenly, tugging her into him. His arms go around her shoulders, keeping her close. “This okay?” He whispers.

“Yes,” she breathes. More than okay, she wants to say. It’s touching really, that he’d drive all this way just to stand there with her and stare at a lighthouse. It’s reminiscent of the early days in their relationship, before the drama and the uncertainty, when all they needed was to be together. “Thanks for bringing me Nate.”

He hums, his cheek pressing against the side of her head. “Thanks for wanting to be here.”

She can feel that his words have a much deeper meaning behind them, though she chooses to take them at face value. It's clear they’re going to continue to dance around the obvious, even if it’s rehashing something they’d already settled on. It’s just for the weekend; there’s no realistic way it could be more and they can’t put that kind of pressure on each other. But even though all of this is true, it doesn’t change the way being with him makes her feel. It doesn’t take the warmth out of his smile, or the fondness from his eyes. So maybe she is breaking her own heart here, but what other choice does she have?

***

She and Nate spend much of their day wandering through the small fishing village. They stroll down the boardwalk, through small boutiques and touristy souvenir shops. Nate happily walks through every single open door, stopping to sign an autograph or take a photo every now and then when they happen upon another person. He has no qualms about waiting for her to browse in the bookshop, instead spending his time posted up on a comfortable chair, petting the store cat with a smile on his face.

After a late lunch at the only restaurant in town, they get back on the road, headed for Cole Harbour. Conversation in the car is light and casual, both just catching the other up on life’s nuances they haven’t been privy to in years. It’s more than just work: it’s the song that made Nate cry because it reminded him of leaving for the US when he was just a child, it’s the countless seafood meals she’s turned down in her adult life because nothing can compare to the luxuries of home. The conversation never lulls, though it does veer significantly off course when they spot the ‘welcome to Cole Harbour’ sign approaching in the distance.

“Nate, pull over!” She insists. She’s digging through her bag, ignoring his request for an explanation. After a few seconds, she emerges victorious, holding up a black marker and a piece of paper. She smoothes it out as best she can on his dashboard, then unhooks her seatbelt. “Do you have any tape?”

“What do you need tape for?” Nate asks. He earns himself a pointed look, one that says ‘don’t ask questions’. He sighs, then flips open the center console. “I think I have some stick tape lying around…”

While he tracks that down, she gets to work writing, keeping her arm strategically placed so he can’t glance over her shoulder to sneak a peek. Just a few seconds later, he’s setting the tape down next to her hand and looking at her expectantly. “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see,” she grins. She picks up her sign and the tape, opens the door to his truck and hops down onto the road. It's not very busy, thankfully, but Nate is immediately concerned all the same.

He calls out her name, quickly following after her as she walks. “You can’t just get out of the car on a main road and walk away,” he insists, but she’s not listening to him. She’s still making her way forward, toward the welcome sign and the townline. Once she’s standing in front of it, he watches as she pulls up the tape, ripping it with her teeth. The piece of paper is held against the welcome sign, then secured with tape, and she steps back with a satisfied smile on her face. The writing doesn’t become clear until Nate is standing beside her, and once it does, he bursts into laughter.

Attached to the bottom of the sign, where it reads ‘Home of Sidney Crosby’, she’d taped up her own: “and Nathan MacKinnnon”.

“I’ll have to get a proper one commissioned, but I thought this would do for now,” she grins. As she locks eyes with Nate, she feels her heart start racing. He seems happy, but she doesn’t want to assume he’s not just saving face and she’s made him uncomfortable.

Wordlessly, he closes the space between them, gathering her into his arms. “You’re just- you’re so wonderful.” He doesn’t give her the time to respond, just leans in and kisses her, hard and long. It sets her world on end, she gasps for air when he pulls away.

“Nate-“

“You wanna come to my place?” He asks against her lips, eyes hooded. A brief nod is all that’s needed to get him moving, guiding her back to his truck and opening the door for her.

___

Her hands are trembling when they pull up to Nate’s house. Nate grins at her, taking her hand over the shifter once he parks. He brings it to his lips and kisses it softly. There’s an unspoken understanding in the air, tension hanging between them. “Hey,” he whispers, trying to catch her eye. “You alright?”

Her voice is so soft when she speaks that Nate almost misses it. “I’m nervous,” she admits. “It’s been such a long time and I really want this to be good for you-“

Nate cuts in, brow furrowed. “Look at me.” He waits until she draws her eyes up to continue. “It’s okay to be nervous. I’m a little nervous, but please, don’t feel like you have to do this.”

“I don’t. I mean, I do want to,” she interjects. “I just- what if it’s not… good?”

He actually snorts when he hears this. He’s under no impression they’ve lost that spark over the years. It’s always been good, and he knows it will continue to be. But the hesitance on her face is suggesting she’s not thinking the same way he is. “It’s going to be incredible,” he insists. “Just like it always was.”

“We were kids, Nate. I’m worried it won’t be.” She takes in a deep breath, shaking her head. “I’m worried I won’t be any good.”

He drops her hand, turning in his seat until he’s able to cup both of her cheeks. Then he draws her head up until she’s looking at him again. “You are the most beautiful woman I know, and you’ve been driving me crazy since the day I saw you in the grocery store. I know you’re going to blow my mind.” She hesitates for a moment, but then she’s nodding as best she can with the way he’s holding her. “If you’re not ready, we can wait.”

“No,” she says adamantly. “I’m done waiting.”

This is all the confirmation that Nate needs. He keeps his hands firmly planted on her cheeks and leans in, kissing her hungrily. He slides his tongue into her mouth, groaning when he feels her fingers crawl up to grip his hair tightly. She leans even closer to him, pressing her chest against his, letting him feel every inch of her torso. His eyes are half lidded when he breaks away, tongue flicking out to wet his lips.

Her eyes blink open, and Nate’s smiling softly at her. His eyes are soft, filled with longing, and her stomach is doing flips. It’s tenfold when he climbs out of the driver’s seat, coming around to take her hand and help her step down. He laces their fingers, leading her up the short pathway and in the front door. They shed their shoes and their cold weather gear there, tossing it unceremoniously toward the built in to the right. They’ll deal with the mess later.

“Do you need anything?” His voice is low, raspy, and she’s shaking her head immediately. She’s of a one track mind now, and it seems that Nate picks up on that. He takes the initiative to walk her up the stairs, straight to his bedroom.

“Can I touch you?” He whispers. He rests his hands on her waist, lingering at the hem of her soft t-shirt. When he sees her nod, it’s up and over her head in a hurry, exposing her smooth skin. Nate’s eyes greedily take in every inch of her chest, and she’s surprised she doesn’t feel the urge to cover herself.

She feels a surge of confidence shoot through her; the way Nate is looking at her fueling her ego. It makes her bold, and she pushes back on his shoulders until he’s stepping backwards, and eventually, falling onto the bed. Then, she climbs into his lap, her hair falling around them like a curtain when she leans down over him. “Are you just going to look?” She asks, and the challenge in her voice ignites something inside Nate.

Before she can blink, she finds herself on her back with Nate crawling over her. He reaches up and tugs off his shirt, smirking at her sharp intake of breath. He doesn’t take much time to gloat, choosing instead to draw her in for another kiss. His hands make quick work of her bra, tossing it across the room carelessly. His lips trail down her chest, mouthing at the supple flesh, and swirling his tongue around her nipples. He revels in the breathy sounds falling from her lips when he bares his teeth.

“Nathan, please touch me,” she whines. She wriggles underneath him, trying to draw him up, get his mouth back on hers.

“Patience, my girl,” he mumbles. He kisses the tip of her nose before he sits back, eyes taking in her form. Her hair is splayed out across the bed, cheeks flushed, and pupils blown wide. He slides his fingertips over the red marks he’d left on her breasts, dragging the rough pads down until they’re toying with the waistband of her pants. He glances up at her again, eyebrows lifted to check in, make sure this is still what she wants. He earns himself a frustrated groan and a “come on, Nate”, which he takes as the green light. He slides everything down in one move, leaving her completely bare to him. “God, look at you,” he breathes. He pushes her legs open wider to accommodate the bulk of his shoulders before he drops down onto his stomach. His eyes never leave hers as he leans in close, kissing up her thighs until he’s inches away from her throbbing center.

She tosses her head back, squeezing her eyes shut to try to regain control of herself. Her body is thrumming with anticipation, desperate for Nate to do anything. After a few seconds, she’s rewarded for her patience. Nate licks a long strip up from her entrance to her clit, chuckling against her when she gasps. Immediately, her hands fly to his hair, fingers gripping tightly. Nate flicks his tongue expertly against her before drawing her clit between his lips and sucking. She feels him ghosting his fingers over her lips, the soft tickle making her toes curl. She lets out a moan, and that’s all it takes to get Nate to dive in. He slips two fingers into her dripping entrance, scissoring against the tight suck of her walls.

“Nathan,” she pants, back arching. He’s nibbling on her clit as he seeks that spot inside of her, pumping his fingers in and out quickly. She cries out when he finds it, and Nate presses down hard, keeping his fingers firmly against it while she thrashes against the bed.

She’s sure her grip on his hair has to be painful at this point, but she’s too far gone to care. All she can focus on is the blinding pleasure Nate is giving her. She can feel that coil tightening inside of her, her body wound so tightly she’ll snap back at any given second. When he sucks on her again, she snaps, trapping his face between her legs as she comes, thighs tightening around his head.

Nate keeps his fingers working inside of her as she starts to come down, her breath slowing, though not entirely coming back to her. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he climbs up to his knees, grinning wickedly. “Such a good girl for me,” he coos.

She’s having a hard time replying to him. She can’t get a sentence out, moans tumbling past her lips whenever she opens her mouth. Nate is prolonging her orgasm, keeping her suspended up on cloud nine as he watches her, eyes hungry. “I’ve imagined this so many times,” he admits. “Over the years, when I’m on the road late at night. I love to picture you wrapped around me instead of my hand, squeezing me so tight. You feel so good around my fingers; I can’t even imagine how you’ll feel around my cock. Will you let me have you? Sink deep inside of you and fuck you open, my girl?”

She cries out again, nodding quickly. She grips his forearm tightly, eyes rolling back. “Please Nate,” she chokes out. “God, please, I need you.”

“You’ve got me,” he swears. He leans down and kisses her again, stealing the air from her lungs. He tugs his sweatpants down as best he can with one hand, sighing against her lips when his cock springs free.

Slowly, she draws her eyes up from his cock, enjoying the sight of his clenched stomach muscles, and the strain of his bent forearm. Everything about Nate is absolutely gorgeous. He’s just so big; so wide and cut, and god, he’s going to be the death of her. She grips his shoulders tightly, mouth going dry at the muscles her fingers trace over. She’s trying to commit every moment to memory, the soft pants falling from Nate lips, the way his eyes are nearly black with desire. It’s so different than it had been before, but somehow the same. They’ve both matured so much- confidence emanating off of them now, but that giddiness is still there. That schoolyard crush that makes your heart beat faster and your hands shake. Her head is swimming, with desire, and the disbelief that this is truly happening. That they’d found a way to have this happen again.

She whines when he draws his fingers out of her, the loss leaving her feeling empty, and she clenches around the air. “I’ve got you,” Nate promises her. He reaches over her head to the bedside table and comes back with a condom, tearing it open with his teeth before sliding it down his throbbing cock. Her fingers are still gripping his shoulders tightly, and there’s no way her nails aren’t biting into his skin but Nate doesn’t say a word. He just runs a soothing hand down her torso and grips her hips, holding her still as he lines himself up with her entrance. His eyes are locked with hers as he presses forward, the blunt head of his cock drawing a gasp when he slips inside. He’s so wide; her walls are already straining to accommodate him, the burn of the stretch making her heart pound. Nate takes his time pressing into her, letting her accommodate for his size. As he pushes in, he’s whispering soft reassurances to her, telling her how beautiful she is, and how good she feels.

He grips her waist tightly when he’s fully sheathed, his big hands wrapping around her. “Okay?” He whispers. She can see the strain of holding back on his face, the need to make sure she’s alright before he can let himself go and enjoy this.

“Perfect,” she assures. “Please, Nate.”

He sucks in a deep breath and nods. Slowly, he draws his hips back before snapping himself forward, burying himself even deeper. She’s impossibly tight and wet around him, drawing him in and clinging to him. It doesn’t take long for him to build up a steady rhythm and when he does, he feels like a man possessed. He’s holding her down against the bed, watching as her breasts bounce and her mouth falls open in pleasure. He feels her drag her nails down his back and he groans, driving into her even harder. The force of his hips is pushing her up the bed, leaving her breathless and begging for him.

“I’m so close,” she pants. “Please Nate, touch me.” Her eyes are shining when she looks up at him. He obliges, sliding his right hand down to press his fingers to her clit. Within seconds, she’s coming around him, clamping down on him as she cries out his name. Nate fucks her straight through it, his hips slapping against her ass as he chases his own release.

He kisses her desperately when he feels his body tightening. When her tongue sweeps against his, he’s gone. He drives in and holds himself there as he comes, a grunt falling from his lips. When he’s able to come back into himself, he reaches down, holding onto the condom as he slowly pulls out. He kisses her cheek in apology when she winces, tying the condom off and tossing it into the trash just after. He runs a hand down his face, trying to steady his breathing before he stands. He grabs the first hand towel he can find in the on suite bathroom, running it under the tap and bringing it back into her bedroom wordlessly.

She’s still spread out on the bed where he’d left her, her arm thrown up over her eyes as her chest heaves. He drags the towel between her legs, cleaning her up carefully, before the towel too gets tossed to the floor. “You doing okay?” He whispers. He drops down onto the bed beside her, manhandling her body until she’s lying on her side, facing him.

“Wonderful,” she says, and that’s the understatement of the century. “Was, was I okay?”

Nate’s eyes go wide, and he’s nodding immediately. “That was unbelievable. God, the way you feel-” He cuts himself off, dropping his head onto a pillow dramatically. “It’s amazing how good we still are together.” She peers up at him, sees his eyes closed and the small, happy smile on his face. It makes her heart twist in her chest, her throat tightening. Realization hits her like a bucket of ice water thrown over her head. None of this is real. He’s not her Nate anymore, and damn it, how is she going to walk away from this?

“I can hear the gears whizzing around in there,” he teases. “Tell me what you’re thinking?”

She hesitates, debates deflecting- telling him it’s nothing and avoiding the discussion she knows they should have. They’re adults now, this is the kind of thing they need to discuss, but she’s scared. “Nate,” she sighs, feels tears brimming in her eyes. “I don’t know. I just-“

“You told me you wouldn’t break my heart.” His voice is low. It isn’t accusatory, it’s just sad, like a punch straight to the stomach. She opens her mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. Hot tears leak out of the corners of her eyes, pooling on the pillow case.

“It’s feeling pretty broken right now.”

This has her swallowing hard, gathering her courage. “I don’t want to.” It’s barely a whisper. “But I don’t think there’s another choice.”

“Of course there is,” he assures her. “There’s always another choice.”

“Not when it leads right back where we broke in the first place.”

“Don’t think about that. Tell me what you want.”

“It doesn’t matter-“

“It does matter,” Nate insists. “What the hell are we doing in this life if we’re not trying to find happiness?” His eyes search her face, drinking in every feature. “What would make you happy?”

She doesn’t hesitate. “You. But-“

He shakes his head slowly. “Nope. No buts. I would make you happy?”

“Yes.”

“Thank god,” he breathes. “Because I’m not letting you go again.”

“It’s not that easy,” she says. “There’s too many variables, and it will lead us right back where we started.”

“It’ll be different this time.”

She sighs. “How can you know that?”

Nate reaches a tentative hand out, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. “Because we know better. We can make better choices together. I know you don’t want to be a WAG, and I’m not going to put that on you. If you want to stay in Florida, okay. If you want to move to Denver, okay. If you want to move back to Canada, that’s okay too. We’ll make whatever you decide work. I just want you.”

“You… you want that?”

“If it involves you, I want it.” He’s so adamant, speaking with such conviction she can’t entertain any other thought. She scoots closer to him on the bed, molding herself against his chest and resting her head on his shoulder.

“I really want this to work, Nate,” she says. “I really, really want that.”

He drops a kiss to her forehead. “Sweetheart, I told you, I’m not letting you go again. I mean it.”

#nathan mackinnon #nathan mackinnon imagine #hockey imagine #hockey rpf #nhl imagine #my writing #shutupptara writes #Nathan mackinnon X reader #tis the damn season #shut up tara

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wildpeachfarm · 8 months ago

Note

Hi! I hope you’re doing good

I’ve seen a few anons mention how it’s okay to only be here for Dream/dteam. And how a lot of the other Minecraft-based CCs are seemingly jealous of all the success Dteam have had, and think that deplatforming them will make way for us to move to their content. And I want to say I agree.

I became a fan of (dream first, then SNF) them in 2020 when it was peak Covid time. I was a sophomore in college, and my brother was in kindergarten; I was trying to find things to relate with him, and stumbled into the Minecraft sphere, cause he likes Minecraft. I was hoping to find someone current and semi-child friendly, and I stumbled upon dreams videos. I watched them first before showing them to my little brother, and after deciding I liked them, we now watch dreams videos together.

As someone who had limited access to the internet as a kid, and knows like next to nothing about Minecraft, I’m really only here for Dteam. Cause I enjoy their content and it brought my brother and I closer. If I stop being a fan of Dteam, I’m honestly probably going to just leave the Minecraft sphere altogether, considering Dteam are what’s keeping me here (not that I haven’t met some amazing people, but you get what I mean).

It’s very telling the agenda of these CCs the more I become offline and take a look at the bigger picture. I said this earlier, but their content is based on a fleeting hatred for the internets current punching bag. If they ever stop expressing hatred or, god forbid, Dteam get deplatformed, all the “fans” they think they had will be gone. Because with no common perceived enemy, there’s nothing keeping them tied to those creators. And so they’ll go back to whatever they were doing before-hand.

I wanted to extend some semblance of sympathy to these CCs, cause it’s really hard to make a career out of this, but they’re also going about it the wrong way, and my sympathy doesn’t exist anymore. If the only content you have is performative activism, then maybe you should consider a different career path.

Adding on to that, let’s say I do stop watching Dteam, or the “behind the scenes” stuff wasn’t just petty grievances. Why would I then go watch the people that have been harassing, bullying, threatening the same people I was just a fan of the entire time I was their fan? If dteams morals are so bad, what makes theirs any better? And why would I support theirs, when I wouldn’t support someone else’s bad morals? (Again, hypothetical, cause I’m still a fan and all the “bts” stuff ARE petty grievances).

They’re so blinded by their hatred and jealousy that they cannot see they’re destroying their own careers with this. There’s a reason outside of Twitter, a lot of people don’t know who these creators are, and the only reason they do is because they stick their noses everywhere.

It’s become apparent the last few weeks that outside of Twitter- where their core fanbase IS NOT- people are seeing these CCs for what they are and it’s driving them away from any content they might produce. They’re driving away potential fans acting like this, and they can’t even see it, cause they’re so focused on dteam (mainly dream). Maybe focus on your own career, before trying to take down someone else’s, especially when you have nothing career-ending over them.

So again, why would I stop being a fan of people I liked for so long, and stuck around for the good, bad, ugly, and sometimes dangerous (gotta love doxxing /sar), to immediately go be a fan of people that contributed to the absolute onslaught of horrid treatment of the people I was a fan of? It doesn’t make sense.

Unlike them, I’m not going to compromise my morals and make a big public spectacle to then privately do the opposite. I dropped Wilbur after Shelby came out with her story. I was more than willing to drop Dream if his allegations were proven correct, and the same goes for George. That’s what these CCs don’t understand. I’m a human first before I’m a fan. And that humanity stays with me wherever my interests take me.

Sorry it’s so long; I know you probably have a lot of asks. But still appreciate you taking the time to read this anyway.

Have a good day, my favorite source of tea!

-L :)

Thank you for sharing L ! I think you bring up some very good points about consuming content/CCs and just Being A Person

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

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depressedhouseplant · 14 days ago

Text

Cops & Robbers Read Along: Chapter 4

You can read the chapter here

I’d say this chapter is where things start to go off the rails, but to be honest (and if you’ve read up to current) it only gets crazier from here. Also there will be spoilers if you haven’t read this so proceed with caution.

“I got you something. You have to close your eyes, though,” Juyeon called as he came up the stairs.

“Eyes closed!” Younghoon called back. He heard the door open and then felt something wiggly and fluffy in his lap.

“Open them,” Juyeon told him. Younghoon opened his eyes and there was a small, white poodle in his lap. “This is Bori. I thought she’d be a good companion when I have to work.”

“Hi Bori,” Younghoon grinned, hugging the puppy to his chest.

Still trying to sell their relationship like the rent’s due. I had to include Bori because we all know IRL how much he loves that fluffy princess. All the best fiction is rooted in a bit of truth, no?

“I got a name,” Sunwoo said.

“Which is?” Juyeon asked.

“The Mad King,” the other man replied. They all started looking at each with a mixture of shock and disbelief.

I got the idea of The Mad King from Hongjoong’s styling from their 2020 MAMA stage. I wanted to keep the identity of The Mad King a secret for as long as possible while slowly revealing who it wasn’t. I had several scenes of his written well before they made any sense in the narrative (I say that like my narratives make any sense at all).

“Tell me what’s going on. You only smoke when you’re stressed. You’d been smoking the first night I was here. I could taste it,” Younghoon told him.

“I should never have called you. Sunwoo could’ve run those names for me. Yes, I was stressed from Eric getting arrested and having that other operation as a general thorn in my side, but…” he trailed off.

“But?” Younghoon prompted.

“I missed you,” he whispered. “And because I was selfish this happened. Now I can’t sleep because I don’t want to consider what could happen to you if I’m asleep.”

This would be me trying to sell Juyeon’s feelings again. Did I mention I also really suck at slow burn?

All three men went rigid when they heard the voice from the office.

“He’s in a mood,” Mingi said. “Have fun.”

“Fuck,” Yunho said under his breath.

“Seconded,” Jongho agreed. Mingi smirked as they walked toward the office. “Spoiled brat.”

“He might be a spoiled brat, but he’s good at his job so you’ll tolerate him,” their boss didn’t look up from the papers he was reading.

And we welcome Ateez to the party! Officially!

“I got a call from Juyeon,” he said.

“Did you now?” the King asked.

“He‘s shopping around,” Mingi added.

“I thought he might. Tell him to call Haknyeon. This isn’t your style,” his boss informed him.

“Is Haknyeon really a better option?” Mingi asked.

“I guess that depends on what he has in mind, but I think Haknyeon is exactly who he wants,” he said. Mingi considered what he’d said.

“I’ll tell him,” he nodded.

“Good. You’re dismissed,” the King waved him off. He smiled to himself. It was all falling into place.

This exchange served a couple purposes. Firstly, it establishes that the groups are already connected in some way. Secondly, I hit you upside the head with the fact that Hongjoong is behind the whole thing. If you’re curious, the first Mingi/Kevin bonus content begins shortly after this scene. I was hoping someone would guess who The Mad King was before I officially revealed him, but if they did they never told me. I’m not sure if that means I’m a good writer or a really terrible one. I guess that’s up to you, isn’t it fair readers?

#the boyz fanfic #ateez fanfic #minors dni #mafia au #read along

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anthropologyruinseverything · 5 months ago

Text

🚨Mature Content ahead, minors DNI, plz stop reading and move along!🚨

Jey Uso x Mixed female (alternating 1st person pov)

Here we go! I’m so nervous lol - but I am working hard towards my goal of completing several novels I have started. One is about a pirate queen saving her granddaughter, another about a grim reaper who enlists the help of a psychic to find a dangerous spirit that escaped.

Reading fanfiction has always been fun for me, I love reading, writing the wwe so this has been a really fun exercise to get some practice and take a break from the harder/darker plots lines I am writing. This fic here is absolutely a fluffy, smutty and unedited piece that I wrote for fun but I welcome any and all feedback yall have. I figure why not combine something fun with growth?

***A note: this is strictly a fun work of fiction and exercise to help me grow as a writer! I feel very strongly about leaving people to their privacy so and this is very AU/fiction heavy based on a television character, not the actual person. I know he has kids and even has one of them with him sometimes but it just makes me uncomfortable to include anyone actually under the age of 18 and not a character in their own right in the fic. For this reason I just made up a name and age for the kiddo. Thanks for understanding! (Oh, also, I assume most of yall reading this know what Jey looks like so I don’t need to spend a lot of time describing him)

Summary: It’s April (timeline is not perfect forgive me) of 2020 and eighteen year old Aurora “Rori” Begay is the new nanny for Jey Uso. Feelings ‘inappropriate’ for their relationship as employer and client begin to bloom in both of them but they keep it to themselves. When her mom’s abusive boyfriend attacks her one night, Jey comes to her rescue and everything changes.

Idk where this is headed but all I can tell you is there will be smut and an HEA. Mentions of physical abuse and attempted SA but not discussed in great detail. Please take care of yourself, I will include a little warning before something that might be triggering if you wanna skip it.

This is part 1 (first 2 chapters)

Word count: 2.4k

Chapter 1:

Aurora POV

“My Rori’s here!” Jason lunged from his father’s arms into mine as soon as I made it through the door of the unassuming but well kept blue house.

“Hey little dude!” I gladly received the three year old, doing my best to avoid touching Josh too much in doing so. Every time we so much as brushed hands it caused a rolling wave of butterflies and warmth. Not unpleasant but also not an appropriate thing to feel for someone who was technically my boss. And the last thing I needed in my life right now was to lose my job, especially over a stupid crush.

Due to the pandemic ramping up Josh was home from his job that normally demanded a lot of travel. Even though he wasn’t traveling he still had commitments and a job that required several hours of training daily in the gym on top of meetings and zoom calls. He’d explained the plan his company had until they could safely begin touring again, a plan that would see them staying here in Florida for several months to a year.

Long enough for me to save up enough to get out of my own place, even if my mother was demanding a high rent. I was glad I’d fibbed about just how much Josh was paying me weekly or she would have demanded even more.

“Swim! Swim! Wanna go swimming!” I juggled the excited toddler in my arms trying not to drop my day bag.

Coming to the rescue Josh grabbed the green backpack and smiled at me in a way that turned my insides to mush. “We gotta eat first little man.”

“Are you free today?” I hoped I didn’t sound as excited as I felt. At first I’d found it odd he still wanted me there even when he wasn’t going to be busy for the day but quickly started to look forward to spending time with both of them.

“Yeah, my meetings were cancelled. I was thinking I’d join y’all for swimming lessons and whatever else you got planned. If that’s cool with you.”

As if I was going to say no.

I looked at Jason with a grin. “Whaddya think? Want Daddy to hang out with us today?”

“Hang out with daddy AND Rori! Swim!”

“What about you?” It was hard not to read too much into his expression or the way his voice seemed to drop a little. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Oh, of course. He’s trying to be considerate of my feelings as a person and I’m drooling at the way his voice changes when he is speaking to another adult. I swallowed my embarrassment and put on a big grin. “Not at all, it’ll be great to hangout! Now how about some breakfast?”

There wasn’t much Jason loved more than swimming but one thing was for certain.

“PANCAKES!”

—-

Jey POV

It did things to me when she called me “Daddy”, even if it was in this context.

Maybe I could get Joe or Braun to hit me in the head next time we’re wrestling.

Really, really hard.

Well, maybe not Braun, I didn’t want to die after all.

I needed some sense knocked back into me around this girl though. I can’t keep my eyes off her and thought about her way too often. She’s only eighteen and I should not be feeling this way about my sons *nanny.* Watching her as she moved around the kitchen, letting little man help her with making breakfast it brought an excited sense of peace.

My eyes dutifully followed the sway of her curvy bottom as she sidestepped small feet with a laugh. I wanted to wind my hands into that waist length brunette hair while I devoured her pouty lips.

Wanted to see her pretty green eyes tear up with those lips wrapped around my dick.

I wanted a lot of things from Miss Aurora Begay.

Isolating was hard, I hadn’t had a chance to go out or hookup with a chick since New Year’s Eve. Maybe that was my problem. She was close, pretty and had a great laugh.

But the truth was I hadn’t wanted someone so bad in a long time. Jason’s mom had burned me pretty hard when she decided she didn’t want to be invested in his life, or mine.

You travel too much she’d said. Come to find out “you travel too much” really meant I’d rather be fucking other dudes in another country.

More power to her. We’d started out casual but when she fell pregnant I’d stepped up and even offered to marry her and let myself get invested. Not the best way to start but I was willing to give it a shot for him.

“How many?”

“Huh?”

Rori pulled me out of my thoughts with a light tough to my shoulder and a giggle. She smiled down at me. “I asked you how many pancakes would you like? I’m using the protein mix.”

Of course she’d ferreted out the healthiest pancakes for someone with my training regime. She was always doing thoughtful shit like that and I loved it. Loved that she would modify things for me, make me a plate or keep one warm for me in the oven when something ran longer than planned.

It was hard not to let all that spill.

She raised her eyebrows. “Josh?”

*I’m so fucked.*

“Uh, make it four.”

Thirty minutes later and I’m waiting for them the come downstairs. Jason appeared at the top of the steps first in his matching swimming trunks and shirt all decked out with tiger sharks. His favorite animal at the moment. He proudly held up his shark goggles. “Look daddy, I’m a shark!”

In a weird way I was grateful for the lockdown. I’d never been able to spend so much time with him and it made me happier than I’d ever been. “I see little man! Where’s Rori?”

“Coming, sorry!”

Chapter 2 -

Aurora POV

Josh stood at the bottom of the steps in nothing but black swimming trunks. My mouth went dry and heart pounded as I tried not to stare at him while Jason and I made our way downstairs hand in hand. It was tough though, his dark bronze skin and spiraling tattoos were mesmerizing.

He’d given me a cursory glance before looking away and even though I’m not terribly vain, it stung my pride a little. I should be ashamed that I picked the cheap and simple but pretty blue mesh halter and boy short set because I thought be would like it. As if he’d ever look at me the same way I do him.

Tucking the sadness away I padded out to the pool with Jason who was already fighting with his arm floats before he’d made it to the water. “Here let me help-“

The words were cut off by splash of water, my own shriek of surprise and Jason’s shriek of laughter. Josh had blown by us to canon ball into the water before surfacing with a challenging smirk.

It would be hard to ignore the heat pooling between my legs.

Well, until little man threw his arms up and demanded to be thrown in for a big splash that is. Happy to oblige and to cool off I scooped him up and we jumped in. What I’d planned as a swimming lesson turned into lots of laughing and splashing with Jason getting brave enough to paddle back and forth between us a few times.

After a while he was tired and become more preoccupied with making his pool toy shark eat his other action figures. Josh drifted over to where I stood in the shallow water while Jason played nearby on the step. “Hey.”

“Hey?”

“What happened here?” Gently he brought his fingers to a healing bruise on my arm. Anxiety twisted my stomach painfully. I had to come up with something, my mother had trained me to lie about this sort of thing.

“Oh, uh, I just, I just dropped something when I was reaching for a can on a shelf at home. Clumsy, just brought my arm up so it wouldn’t like hit me on the face or anything. Nothing, no worries.” I realized I was rambling when his brow furrowed and he narrowed his eyes.

Fuck. He didn’t need to know mom’s latest boyfriend was a real dick, even for her.

“A can huh?”

The truth was I hadn’t moved fast enough to get out of his way a couple days ago and so he grabbed me by the arm, hard enough to leave those prints, shook me and slung me across the room. Not the first time one of the men she’d brought home had done something similar but no one had ever really paid attention and my mom had threatened me with much worse if I ever told.

“Yeah, just a stupid accident.” I tried to smile reassuringly but could tell it wasn’t working. Josh opened his mouth but fortunately for me, little man chose then to pounce, throwing himself at us with abandon only a happy toddler could achieve.

“Make splashes Rori!”

“You sure did! How about we get dried off and go watch a movie?” I was grateful for the distraction. Hopefully he would let it go.

————

Jey POV

Late that night I laid in bed scrolling through photos from the last few weeks, looking for clues and wracking my brain for an explanation. Aurora had never lied to me before and I should have her drug tested if she thought I bought that story about the can. I know what a bruise from someone gripping you too tightly looks like. Why was she being so evasive about it?

*Does she have a boyfriend? Some little shit who thinks he’s tough?*

An intense anger erupted in my chest at the thought of anyone putting their hands on her. In any way. Thinking about her kissing someone else, *fucking* someone else, made me physically sick.

I resolved to get the the bottom of it. Why weren’t her parents doing anything about it? Did they notice?

Wait. Does she live with them?

It dawned on me that I know next to nothing about her or her living situation. Most of our conversations revolve around Jason or the chores or how my day had been or what I wanted for dinner. I knew she was a college student and we’d chatted about a few times about things like music or movies or my job but never had she mentioned her family or friends or relationships at all, except one girl named Jamie. And all I knew about her was that they’d seen a movie together recently.

I’d snapped a few pictures today. Only one of just her but that was the one I settled on looking at. She stood mid thigh in the pool, her golden skin wet and the red of her messy bun stood out in the sunlight. The swimsuit wasn’t too revealing but I’d almost embarrassed myself. Seeing her coming down the steps it that simple but sexy outfit had me at half mast in no time, I’d had no choice but to hustle my ass into the cold pool or risk her noticing.

Looking at the picture now I had the same problem, my cock twitching to life at the thought of tasting her everywhere. Closing my eyes I dropped my phone and let myself pull my boxers down. Picturing her sweet smile I imagined she was there with me, straddling my waist, her walls clenched tightly around me.

Slowly I started stroking myself, imaginary Aurora’s movements were careful and shy and gentle, just like everything else about her. Her small hands braced against my chest, fingers digging in as her cheeks flushed with pleasure and she panted in need.

*”Daddy, please!”*

Increasing my pace I imagined taking control, clutching her hips and bracing myself with my ankles as I thrust up at a much more aggressive pace. My knees drew up and I clutched the sheet with my free hand as her cries filled my ears.

*”Harder Daddy, yes yes! I’m gonna cum!”*

I didn’t fight the groan that rose in my throat as I sped up even more. It was my fantasy and we would finish together.

“Fuck Rori, baby…” I bit my lip when I came, spilling hot ropes of cum onto my stomach as my hips bucked and twitched. For a few seconds I just lay there breathing hard.

I’d lost count of how many times I’d gotten off this exact same way now. I knew I should stop but it was becoming something of an obsession. It wouldn’t be the first time in my life I’d developed a fixation, just not quite so focused in on a particular female before.

I hoped it would pass when the lockdowns lifted and I could get some of this pent up want out but deep inside I knew that wouldn’t be the case.

No, something about those big hazel eyes and loving personality had dug itself deep inside me. I swiped at the mess I’d made with my shirt before throwing it in the hamper in the corner of the room. A twisted part of me hoped she’d notice when she did laundry and wonder if I was thinking about her but the realistic part of me would kick in and handle the mess in the morning.

Settling in to the covers I hoped she was comfortable and safe, wherever she was.

#wwe #jey uso #fanfiction #jey uso fanfiction #smut #the bloodline #the usos

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buttercupjosh · 10 months ago

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Opinion/Rant: To start, I’m bringing up something that occurred back in 2020 but myself and some others didn’t see the actual video until 2021. This post is a bit long but please bear with me. Anyways, I’m bringing this up now because I’ve noticed throughout 2023 and throughout part of 2024, there’s been a big resurgence of Vince content on here (yeah, I already know he’s cute and a talented player, I used to hold space for him on my blog and post about him in the past) but a part of me feels like people have either forgotten about what he did or they just don’t know what occurred so this post serves as an educational post for those who may not know (or a reminder for those who may have forgotten) and is not intended by any means to cause any drama. I also do share some of my opinion on what happened in this post as well.

For those who don’t know or remember, back in 2020, Vince used to do live streams of him playing video games on Twitch during COVID lockdown and during these streams, he would play music while he played games. On one of these game streams (I don’t know which specific one it was from), Vince was singing along to some song and the n-word came out of his mouth (the video of the incident is at the very end of this post). Yeah, I know he listens to a lot of rap and R&B and I’ve seen some people say that he was drunk when it happened and that the song was choppy but that doesn’t excuse him saying it. According to others who watched the stream when it was fully available, Vince allegedly didn’t apologize for using the word and when he was called out for it in the stream chat, he allegedly got a bunch of people to harass the person who called him out.

As someone who’s Black, it hurt me a lot to hear Vince say the n-word, even if it was for a second. For those of y’all who defend him and act like what he did wasn’t wrong or trying to come up with excuses for him, you don’t fully understand how painful and harmful his actions were. Just because I’m Black (I personally choose not to use it) and other Black people say it freely, that does not mean the word is okay for just anyone, regardless of race, to use in any context. Just because Vince didn’t say it to me or anyone directly, that doesn’t mean what he did is acceptable. To me, hearing a non-black person use the N-word any capacity is extremely personal because it’s been used towards me in a negative way by non-black people throughout my life. It also bothered me that Vince allegedly didn’t have the decency to even say “whoops, sorry I said/did that” when he was called out for it on the game stream and allegedly resorted to downplaying the situation and having people harass the person who called him out. I am not trying to play the victim but I am trying to educate y’all on his actions and to also let y’all know why some people don’t like him.

Another thing I’m going to note is that you cannot always automatically assume that someone you don’t know personally has put in the work privately over something they were exposed for publicly if they haven’t shown any public sort of proof of some growth. That means you can’t come to me and say “he may have learned from using that word” when there’s no public evidence anywhere that he has. If you choose to believe he has, then that’s your opinion. To me, Vince could have publicly shown some sort of growth by doing something as small as posting a blackout Tuesday post during the height of Black Lives Matter movement in June 2020 or liking a tweet of support from that time or maybe even participating in some of the Kraken’s Black history related stuff (like how Grubauer and Blackwell talked about Black hockey history with J.T. Brown and Everett Fitzhugh) (I know February is right around the corner with Black History Month and if Vince does something then, maybe my viewpoint on him may shift a bit). Yes, I did see a video of Vince talking about his thoughts on BLM and he did make valid points about how not everyone has to be posting online to protest injustice. However, Vince didn’t clearly say anything that showed he did something about it offline besides using an example of how if a rapper goes to a protest, everyone knows who the rapper is and if he were to go, no one would know who Vince is and also saying “who’s to say I’m not going to protests or donating to certain charities”, without saying he actually did those things. (A good example of a player being called out/exposed for something but fixing what they did is when Quinn Hughes didn’t use Pride tape once but later on, he used the tape and even made inclusive comments during the NHL pride tape controversy last season).

I AM NOT SAYING OR IMPLYING VINCE SHOULD BE CANCELED OR THAT HE IS A RACIST OR A HORRIBLE PERSON BUT HE SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BY HOCKEY FANS. Holding him accountable means that if you want to, you can still like him for the benefit that he has on your team or recognizing his talent or some of his community work but you can also remember what he did in the back of your mind. (Think about/keep that in mind when you post about him too).

I know that it’s not always easy to hold someone that’s on a team you like or someone you liked beforehand accountable (there are several players on teams that I like who help my team succeed and players that I’ve admired before but I don’t like or agree with certain, questionable things that they’ve done) but if accountability looks like no longer holding space for them on your blog through posts or putting them up on such a high pedestal in your life or to stop thinking they can no wrong, that’s fine too. Holding a player accountable looks different for everyone and there’s no set formula/guidelines for that.

If you still want to support him after seeing this post and watching the video below, then that’s on you. If you choose to not support him anymore or at all, that’s on you. However you choose to feel about it is valid and I respect that (even if I see it differently). I know that he’s never going to address or acknowledge this and I understand that it happened back in 2020 but his silence on the matter nor should the amount of time that has passed shouldn’t stop fans at all from holding him accountable.

(Again, this post is me sharing my opinion on something Vince did, educating those who may not have known about it and also reminding those who may have forgotten this happened. Again, I’m not saying or implying that he is a racist or should be canceled. All I’m trying to say is that he should be/start to be held accountable by hockey fans. We all hold our own bias when it comes to things and I’m not using this post to try to push anyone towards a certain side either. Again, I’m also not saying he’s a horrible person either. Interpret all of this information however you want/choose to.

Also, if you’re even thinking about sending me a hate anon for this, go touch grass or get better hobbies. Better yet, if you send me a hate anon, just know it’ll go into the trash with your garbage words.

Lastly, I am also going to say that I do not tolerate nor support/agree with anyone going after anyone who still chooses to support Vince or chooses not to support him and if you do that to someone, you’re a very scummy person. Also, I am not going to send anyone anything about this either because I got all of my thoughts out here and respect others’ opinions so if you somehow get a hate anon about it, it’s not from me because I dislike the feeling of getting one and wouldn’t want to put someone else through that).

Video Info:

Twitter/X Link to Video

Actual Video from Twitter/X for those who don’t use Twitter/X

#vince dunn #seattle kraken #rants and rambles #(Seattle fans please don’t block me)

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supportivecircle · 2 years ago

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Sonic Wisps Warlock Patron Homebrew Part 1: Level Features

I recently posted about the Sonic-themed DnD Campaign I ran over the past year (and some few months in 2020 before a year break). If you’re in the center of that venn diagram of “Sonic the Hedgehog” and “Dungeons and Dragons”, know that you are not alone and I am here for you my sweet angel chao (tiny celestial, lawful good). Good ol’ Circle Dad has some content to quench the thirst of content for us weirdos. In the post I showed a snippet of the Warlock Patron subclass for the wisp alien creatures of Sonic, directly inspired by Whisper the Wolf, and to be used by one of my players who was drawn to the warlock class. I can’t confidently say how balanced it turned out. Outside of any major stuff that was already adjusted in the document as we played, I don’t think it was too crazy, but the player was not a veteran DnD player who could probably find stuff to break here. I’ll post the individual pages and give some blurbs about how they shaped up in practice.

So starting off, the expanded spell list. The player immediately took to the flavor of Chaos Bolt, but if I recall I don’t believe they took any others from the list outside of Haste, and we had gotten up to player level 9, so they had the whole list to pick from. Spiritual Weapon I wasn’t sure of, and never got to effectively test outside of Whisper herself using it early on at a lower level, it wasn’t too crazy cause its damage scales every 2nd level and Warlocks only get 2 slots per short rest so they’d be dedicating their resource to a longer damage over time spell compared to a full on Lightning Bolt. The flavor is perfect though for people who like to get creative with integrating wisps into the weapon appearance. Creativity was the main goal with this subclass because I knew the player would want options without being overtly super powered. The Variable Wispon feature gives them a similar function to the Order of Scribes Wizard in allowing for damage swapping of spells. In theory, this allows for lots of fun flavoring of spells to match the different wisps energies. In practice, it was good, but my player also made it a goal to never repeat a wisp between short rests and to cycle through them cause they loved their wisps equally. Some wisps will probably be more appealing in general to players who are looking to capitalize on gameplay vs character flavor and RP. It could be adjusted to have a limit per day of how many element swaps you can do if its a problem. Easy fall back is always Prof+CHA per Long Rest if it’s a problem for whatever reason. Maybe keep it free to use on EB so the player can always have that feel of their subclass playing a role. A personal note for knock-on effects of this ability is that the player felt a bit of freedom in picking spells because it was no longer having to so much look at damage types, but rather what the spell straight up did. Fireball vs. Lightning Bolt has the element taken out of the equation and for the player it became about damage, AoE, durations, and extra effects. Certain spells became more appealing because they wouldn’t be locked behind an unwanted damage type. The flavor we used was the same as how Whisper’s weapon functioned of the wisp flying into the gun, and turning the handle knobs to get different effects n stuff. Mechanically, a Warlock can still cast spells without their focus, so if a player is found without their focus in combat it can be flavored as the Wisps just unleashing direct hell on enemies compared to focusing through the gun. If your player ends up upgrading their focus or being given a new experimental version, it will make sense thematically that raw Wisp spells are weaker because their focus will have a +1/+2/+3 and be built to enhance them. Food for thought.

So the rest of the subclass features. Level 6 is where the Wisp Patron is meant to pop off and change gameplay style substantially. Unfortunately, this is rather late if you are starting at Level 1, and until this moment, most of the subclass’ feature is the element swapping. For someone like me, I’m straight pogging. I have an Order of Scribes Wizard already penned up entirely for the next campaign I’m playing in and I’m all about modifying spell descriptions. For others, it could be underwhelming. There is a “solution” later in the document in the form of an invocation that gives 2 free uses per long rest. I put “solution” in quotes because in all the games I’ve played in with my friend groups, warlocks get the Agonizing Blast invocation as a core-kit feature because of how integral it has become in the modern Warlock equation. So logically, having AB frees up an Invocation slot for something like this to let the player have more fun with bonus actions/wisp stuff outside of reflavoring spells. There’s a lot going on with the wisps in this, I wanted the Color Powers to be fun but not amazingly strong, they are meant to be half-spells as you’ll see in the following pages. We didn’t get to Level 10 but it’s a damage resistance it’s nothing insane. There’s flexibility in it cause it’s the name of the game for this subclass. I followed the general pattern of Warlocks having a defensive feature at 10, and some flavorful cool stuff at 14, which in this case is mostly aping off the big damage of stuff like Fiend but with a Blind feature as opposed to “disappear for a turn as you hurtle through Pinhead’s summer home”. Blind can be rough against some enemies, but this late in the game, a lot of tougher enemies might also just have Blindsight. Like I said I can’t say how balanced a lot of this is in the average game.

I’m not going to go into all the Wisp Powers in this post, but I wanted to post a little teaser of one of the pages, cause I really like how it turned out visually. There’s four pages of these to look forward to, along with the accompanying blurbs. I’ll post that part tomorrow. I’ve got a lot to say about how some of them turned out in practice, and almost nothing to say about some others that didn’t get used cause it wasn’t in that player’s playstyle. When the whole thing has been uploaded across three posts (Level Features, Color Powers, Invocations+Familiar), I’ll post the whole PDF in its entirety, or just a link to a copy of the Google Docs file so people can copy it and edit it in browser as needed on their own. I don’t know jack about using the images from the comic, but I ain’t making any cash off this and it was just meant to be a little homemade subclass with spruced up visuals. Hope that’s all good. Please don’t come at me SEGA I’m just a little circle guy im jus a small widdle circle noooo im just a little birthday boyyyyyy nooooo.

#idw sonic #whisper the wolf #sonic wisps #wisps #dungeons and dragons #dnd #d&d #dungeons & dragons #warlock #warlock patron #homebrew #sonic the hedgehog #dubiously balanced #dnd dm experience #go easy on me ive lurked for years and never posted #im just saying dont BULLY ME #SUPPORTIVE CIRCLES #sonic idw

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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years ago

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i’m so over this new era of newgen watchers of rlly anything if i’m being honest. i’m gonna sound gatekeepy and annoying but i’m willing to put up with it if it means i get to rant about this to someone who might understand. i just idk maybe it’s just me but i feel like back then interacting with media wasn’t this popular? not just anime but shows in general i’ll go as far as to say book and movies also? like before covid i know lots of people who would tell me they didn’t watch tv n i feel like after it specially with the rise of tik tok these new watchers don’t know how to interact with said media?? n demonize any kind of movie or show that isn’t ideologically pure?? like idk i just see people n maybe it’s cause i’m on tik tok a lot so maybe it’s on me but i just feel like they don’t know how to watch stuff if it makes sense?? n get fake morally outraged at anything n anyone💀💀 i feel like they never learned how to take the characters out of the context of a story n enjoy them as separate entities?? idk like watching media has become this pseudo intellectual experience where these creators pat themsleves on the back for saying a bunch of words that mean nothing rlly as long as they sound smart. n it’s pissing me off. of course i think there should always be some kind of discourse revolving the stories we are watching but idk💀💀 ik it’s not important what a bunch of teens think of a show i watch but also i’ve seen the power of tik tok n it can be a lil scary thinking about the way they can just influence public opinion if making a tik tok about colleen hoover got z library taken down n the guys who made the site sent the prision

HELLO ANON YOU SENT THIS MANY DAYS AGO AND I REALLY WANTED TO GET TO IT WHEN I HAD A BIT OF FREE TIME AND THAT TIME IS NOW

so the tldr for this is that i agree. like. i don't really think this opinion is gatekeepy at all and i think its one of those things that on the surface seems unimportant but it speaks to how society is function (or in this instance... not function)

there's like. a lot of layers to this particular issue that i think would be very difficult to dissect meaningfully on here but i will try my best to try and explain my viewpoint of what it is. i actually talked about it on my sideblog the other day and i think we're sort of harping on the same point

we're always talking about media literacy on this app and how it's important and a lot of the time - i get feedback from people saying it isn't that deep. sometimes i'm inclined to agree, but i think more and more i'm coming to terms with how people are becoming increasingly... dependent? on escapism and fiction to give them moral guidance and substantiate their own goodness.

it happens especially in teens, especially younger teens but i think young adults aren't exempt from this either.

and the reason i think this is happening is because because of late stage capitalism and the increasingly predatory attempts to market off of fandom culture through sanitization.

this obsession with ideological purity and the lack of empathy towards real human beings is basically one long response to that collective state of exhaustion. 2020 was a year that showed companies how profitable fandom could be and in attempts to increase that profit - there was action taken both in the production and marketability causing the actual processing of content to become extremely evangelical and morally pure.

late stage capitalism has also created a sense of isolation. in karl marx theory of alienation - he details this phenomenon better than i ever could. but the basic concept is that the larger the gap becomes between the proletariat and their labor, the more people will lose touch with their humanity. and in that their sense of self. we're effectively seeing that happen in real time, and it's explanation for all the invasions of privacy, casual bullying, and generally lacking sense of self that people experience.

when you take extremely sanitized media and people estranged from a clear identity - you create a breed of people who are aimlessly seeking to become part of something in order to reconnect. no matter how negative or dangerous (which is also why we've seen a major increase in violent and cult like reform / fringe movements). when production of that media is so fast and so easily available, you get people who are mindlessly consuming things and creating these incredibly pseudo-intellectual and nonsensical debates in order to feel connected to that false identity.

i don't think it's gatekeepy to point out that this is happening. this obsession with creating fake moral panic about problematic and entirely fictious media is doing almost exactly what it's supposed - which is taking away real and legitimate critique of the world around us by ensuring and reinforcing that ideological purity and goodness can be bought in sold much in the same way we buy a can of coke off the shelf.

if you watch the right movies, and read the right books and watch the right shows you can be good without any effort. that's what people are often convincing themselves of. because its both messy and exhausting to confront that goodness within a human being is deeply complex and easier to uphold these weird and impossible beliefs.

#return to sender #x reader meta #we do be doomed #i hope this made sense anon!!!#and i hope u see this </3

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akwardlyuncool · 2 years ago

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Class Favorites: Movie Rank!

This is a ranking of all the movies I watched for the first time in 2022. I didn’t review every new movie, but I will link to any reviews that I can. That being said, be sure and click the links to also see the trigger/content warnings. (If they are what you need.)

Also it’s not in reverse order because I can never be bothered.

1) Spider Man No Way Home (2022)

It was just good and gave what it needed to give. The “surprise” was very well done and definitely worth the watch. If you haven’t seen but would I recommend. Sorry no review, but I enjoyed myself and I’m pretty sure there were tears at some point in the watching of this film.

2) Lone Star State Of Mind (2002)

We can argue that there were better made movies on this list, but I promise you none of them made me laugh as hard and gave the comedic gold that this one did. Laughter is a strong sway and in a world that’s falling apart, I’ll take the joy of genuine laughter. Joshua Jackson and DJ Qualls don’t hurt either. It’s what you want out of a 2002 comedy.

3) Unpregnant (2020)

I think the movie did what it set out to do very well and that’s why it’s up here so high. Would it be one to get a quicker rewatch? No, but it was still a pretty decent movie over all and in the lineup it stood out as a good movie, if you’re into the the YA book to movie adaptations.

4) The Ultimate Playlist Of Noise (2021)

I think I’m just so in love with music and playlists and having a soundtrack to everything, that there was no way this movie wasn’t going to get a high ranking on this list. It was a little heavy, but still gave off more light than anything. Yes there were the typical he has to save her or they have to save each other, but at the end of the day a decent little movie. Now I’ll be honest and say that my brain didn’t automatically remember this one, but after seeing it in the line up it does spark some good memories.

5) Moonshot (2022)

This movie was good for what it was and because it wasn’t trying to be something it clearly wasn’t, I enjoyed it. it fell right among it’s peers and even out preformed some of them. It was cute, lighthearted and took a couple digs at billionaires and they’re gross infatuation with space, so it metaled in my book.

6) The Making of Lords Of Dogtown

This was like a 30-45 minutes documentary on how they made the Hollywood movie version of Lords of Dogtown. I really enjoyed the original documentary on those kids story and thought the movie was also done really well and this addition to that collection of things was well received, at least by the small subset of folks who claimed to have watched it on Letterboxed. If you watched the movie and just want more, but have already seen the original documentary, then this is a solid recommend. And even if you haven’t seen the movie, but just love skate culture, then I recommend it to you as well. I will say that it is a bonus feature on the DVD copy, however since I only got the VHS tape, I went and found a copy of it on YouTube.

Note: I didn’t rank this one higher because of it being a DVD bonus feature, but if it was a full length documentary it probably would have garnered one of the top 3 spots.

7) Cherry (2021)

We all know that sometimes the drama wins and I think that’s why I went and ranked this the way that I did. There were parts that were really intense and then there were parts that weren’t as great, but overall I thought it was worth checking out and something that I wouldn’t steer people away from, that is unless subjects of war, addiction and PTSD struggles are a trigger for you, then I’d go check something else out.

8) Elvis and Annabelle (2007)

This was a very late watch in the year for me, but it still found a way to make the top 10 cut. I liked this one more than I thought I would and I think most people who are also into dark, but still kinda light romances, would too. It pulls at heart strings and keeps you engaged, definitely one I can see having a small following behind it.

9) Step Up Revolution (2012)

I took a moment in 2012 to rewatch the Step Up series and also catch the ones that I hadn’t seen before. I had previously seen 1 and 2 and maybe the beginning of part 3, so this one was new for me. If my memory is holding up, Revolution was the most fun I had with the series and that’s not counting the first movie. It was also the film in the series that held a lot of it’s own weight without Moose’s character. Moose does show up at the end and does his little thing, but the rest of the movie fares pretty decently without him.

10) Too Young To Be A Dad (2002)

Since I didn’t post a review the quick synopsis is that 15 year old Matt Freeman (Paul Dano) get’s his girlfriend pregnant and the families all have to figure out what to do, when Matt wants to step up.

First it’s Paul Dano, so do with that information what you will. Second this is a “Lifetime,” made-for-TV movie, so treat it like such. Now I’d say it was decent for what it is. It’s not ranking at the top in it’s category, but it does pretty well in mid range. I find enjoyment in this type of movie, however I know not everyone else does, so watch or not watch accordingly.

11) Gully (2019)

Gully is ranked this low simply because it is so traumatizing. To quote my review cause I felt like I said it best then, “if you are emotionally tired of seeing Black youth being brutalized, even in a fictional setting and even if they are sometimes being brutal themselves, (product of their environment) give this one a pass. You do not have to sit through all that trauma because someone on Twitter was talking about how it’s a “must see.” Now if you feel you can handle it, than I suggest watching it with self-care practices in place.”

Basically the cast preformed very well, but it was far too violent and once again traumatizing for me to rank it any higher. Part of me thinks I could have gone even lower with it but since the cast did so well, while there were other just not great performances, it gets a mid rage score.

12) Expecting Amish (2014)

Another “Lifetime” made-for-TV movie, cause I dabbled in a few this year. This one was fairly decent, but it ranked lower because of the ending. When a movie is Oh-Kay, but it doesn’t give you what you want, you tend to drop it down several points. That all being said it has Jesse McCartney, so do with that information what you will lol.

13) Step Up All In (2014)

It’s the Battle of 2014 apparently. It’s also an “All Starts Season,” which everyone knows is typically filler. It wasn’t the worst in the Step Up lineup, but you could see what they were doing and even when you had a moment of fun, you were still kinda tired. It’s fun with the binge though.

14) Step Up 3D (2010)

I remember starting this movie forever ago, but not getting very far into it, fast forward to this binge of the series and I finally understood why. Basically this is the boring feature. It’s the movie they made while thinking they still had clout from the previous two and they were wrong. Again Moose does his thing, as well as Alyson Stoner, but it just wasn’t enough.

15) First Love (2022)

This was a movie that wanted to be something is didn’t deliver. It wanted to be a star crossed lovers film, but never succeeded in making us actually believe that. Yes it was the better of the Hero Fiennes Tiffin movies I saw this this year and it wasn’t the worst thing I saw, but I’m not sure I want to put something I thought was a little empty too high on this list.

16) Left For Dead: The Ashley Reeves Story (2021)

The quick rundown since no review, is that 17 year old Ashley Reeves was assaulted and left for dead, but later found buried alive and it follows how she coped afterwards.

This is an actual Lifetime Movie, based on a true story and sometimes they get them pretty decent and sometimes they fail and this one was not good. Yes the story itself is captivating, but the way it was told here wasn’t. It felt fake and rushed and overdramatic without the actual good dramatic parts to hold it up. It lacked so much for the type of story it was trying to tell and it just wasn’t worth the watch, unless you want to see all of them, good or bad. Good for it here though, cause there were worse movies that I saw in 2022.

17) Love, Game, Match (2022)

Students try to pair up their teachers, but there’s secrets that threaten to get in the way.

Another made-for-tv movie that didn’t give me any of the feels they are at the very least required to give. I’ll pretty much sit through any former Degrassi star’s post community school work, especially if there’s romance involved, but that doesn’t mean I have to call it good. It took me a couple sittings to get through this 1hr 25min movie because it couldn’t keep my attention when it needed to. I’m not a big fan of the word boring, but sometimes that’s the only way you can describe a film that lackluster. The goal is to crank out a lot and sometimes they’re good and sometimes they’re not, but a lot of time they’re just there on the Urgent Care waiting room TV making so the room isn’t totally empty. It was simply fine.

18) The Change-Up (2011)

2 best friends switch bodies after thinking the other has the better life.

I’ve been wanting to see this movie for a long time, cause i happen to enjoy these types of films, but after watching it I feel like it could have stayed as something I just happened to missed. I guess I was over sitting through that much trash with little reward and maybe that’s why I shouldn’t be picking these movies up. There is no redemption arc that needs to happen here, at least not with this one. Sometimes this particular trope or theme or whatever is done well and other times the fact that you’ve seen it play out several times pulls it down even further.

19) After Ever Happy (2022)

One had to come before the other and this one was slightly better and do mean slight than it’s sibling that came out last year. It’s a toxic relationship, no shipping, we’re just in too deep.

20) Zach and Miri Make A Porno (2008)

2 Best Friends/Roommates who can’t pay their bills decide to make an adult film with their friends as well as some paid actors. What once was platonic may be catching some feels.

I love this era of movie, but not even Seth Rogen being Seth Rogen could save this movie, especially with him dropping the n-word. (Like that is one of the most unattractive things I’ve seen him do.) It had points for some professions of love, but lost them. Sorry not sorry, but a sad one in an era that I generally like. I feel like if I had watched it back in high school that I probably would have found some joy in this film, but once again I probably watched it too late and the connection is lost.

21) After We Fell (2021)

This movie was rushed and I barely knew what what going on in relation to where we were in the story line. This story is a mess just like the main character’s toxic relationship. There’s just not much redeeming for this particular film or the After series in general, so I think it was always end up at the bottom of the barrel.

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ramurosa · 3 months ago

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Okayyyy yaaaayyy.

I watched OHHC wayyy back as a tween as most people have. It was one of my first anime’s and this was before I had any idea about how the industry surrounding the anime and manga worked and before I knew how to pirate anything other than anime. So when I watched OHHC I adored it but it didn’t go father bc i was like! 13! And unaware of fandom spaces!

I tried to read it about half a year back but I got busy. The reason I’m starting again now is because I was rewatching some of the anime episodes. I do… love it a lot… it has its issues as many older media (it’s not even that old) have, but I can deal with distasteful jokes or outdated/insensitive terms well, so it’s not an issue for my consumption of it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not an issue or harder to read for others.

This entire thing is a bit weird to write because I feel a lot of fondness and love for this entire series but I don’t know how to put it into words… it’s kind of perfectly tailored to me, it’s the type of media I really identify myself with, especially Tamaki… I like him so much because he feels like some other flamboyant version of me, one that my flaws won’t really allow me to be (born to be a flamboyant boy, forced to be a socially awkward girl. Many such cases). Not to get to into this train of thought but my dad is really into spiritual stuff, I call it his hyperfixation and I don’t believe in it the same way he does (wrong wording here. I may believe in it in a way but I also think it’s a bit too constricting sometimes when it comes to the gender stuff. It’s like the spiritual version of those guys who take one biology class and then begin to insist there are only 2 genders because there’s only 2 chromosome options. I digress.) but I do believe there is some element of truth in the inherent feminine and masculine in nature. And whatever Tamaki is, it feels like that masculine part of me. Which is funny because he’s definitely trans. This is such a long winded way to say I feel gender envy for an anime character, but I swear it’s more than that. I wouldn’t really label myself as trans, but I am whatever this is. I don’t know what it is… but I hope it illustrates the intimate connection I feel to this media, even if just a little.

Back to OHHC, because I wanted to do some simple comparing on the visual side of things! First off, if you were an weeb in the 2010s (and I say this from a western perspective. I don’t know much of anything about the domestic success of OHHC but I think that doesn’t matter for now as 1 series can take on different lives depending on the audiences consuming it. I also think older manga and anime fandoms may have been more in touch with the JP side of things, simply because that was the only way to get more content, and that isn’t necessary anymore with the current mainstream status of anime and manga. Even so, the reception of any given media by a western audience is automatically different from that of the intended Japanese audience. So I still believe my nostalgia filled vision of 2010s OHHC through my 13 year old mind is inherently authentic.) and even just a bit artistically inclined, you’d know the OHHC anime art style is iconic. In general, the animation is very good. But the art style is very different from the manga. That’s not unusual, but these days, anime adaptations almost always look infinitely worse than the manga. Older series don’t suffer from this as much, and I think that may be because people want exact copies of their favourite mangas these days. I think that may be because of anime’s rise to mainstream, but to be fair, the lack of artistic nuance in media is a pretty global thing. It’s something that ebbs and flows with the tides of history. C’est la vie. (Also still want to be clear there have been some beautiful anime’s especially this, and last year, so maybe the tide is turning, but it definitely wasn’t like this back in 2020.)

I keep going on tangents, but what I think is the primary reason behind the style change between the OHHC anime and manga, is to simplify it and make animation easier. It retains the typical bishonen look but its shape language is simplified to make more time for the animation of movement. There’s a lot of dramatised flailing around in OHHC that wouldn’t have been possible to animate if they decided to follow the manga more closely. The simplified shapes and flat colours make for really good and recognisable silhouettes.

Two more secondary notes: god the panelling sucks. Most older manga have abysmal panelling and OHHC isn’t worse relative to other works. But it’s definitely bad. Panelling has become more appreciated in recent years which is really good to see, and makes reading this stuff all the more nostalgic.

Second note is that as far as i can tell, they redesigned the twins! I need to give the manga a bit more time to be sure, because the earliest chapters of a manga tend to look a lot different from the rest, but I thought it was a really funny immediate change. Because manga Kaoru and Hikaru are UGLY!!! I’m so sorry! I hate their fuckass bowl cuts! I love them but not their bowl cuts. I’m sure this too will change and improve (I’d be surprised if their anime appearance wasn’t at least inspired by how they look in the manga. It’s adapted up until volume 8, so I will revisit this point when I get there.), or maybe I’ll learn to love the bowlcut. Either way, funny!

These are my thoughts rn. I’ll read chapter 2 later today.

Decided I’m gonna read 1 chapter of Ouran highschool host club a day bc I’ve been wanting to read this manga for way too long. I’ll be fine in late November let’s hope I can keep this up

I have a lot of thoughts regarding this manga… but that’ll come tomorrow. It’s almost 6 am and I am very tired.

#1 OHHC a day #im sorry for going on so many tangents!

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jmdbjk · 2 years ago

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The maknae line

Much has been seen, said, done, thought and fought over when it comes to Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin.

These are just my opinions about Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung from spending hours and hours watching content. I am missing years of witnessing content as its released, but hopefully I have done my due diligence, gone back and watched and I’ve seen enough to come to logical conclusions.

And like everyone, I noticed the connections between these three as well as their relationships with the rest of the group. They all share closeness due to their respect for each other, their commitment to the group, and their passion to their craft.

All I want to do is write some stuff down about each of their personalities and my impressions of how they act with each other and what it might mean. These are my opinions and might be stuff you all have heard before but here they are anyway. Feel free to disagree and form your own opinions. Also, please feel free to point out if any of the images I used were edits because I just searched and grabbed some just for illustrative purposes.

I formed my opinions based on my fandom experiences throughout my life including my journey with BTS which began early 2020 because that is when I actually started paying attention to the individual members. Ok, it was Jimin. Jimin is who I paid attention to at first. (hahahaha)

Then I started this blog as a way to discern what I was seeing between Jimin and Jungkook, so I will use this as a jumping off point to describe my interpretations of the relationships between Jimin and Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyungie, and Jungkook and Tae.

RelationSHIPS...I knew what shipping was before BTS, but it wasn’t until BTS that I learned there was an actual word for it. Shipping is a construct of fan culture (as we know) and involves pairing two individuals together and creating romantic or sexual fantasies and imagining extended narratives about them based on what is observed. Or actually, based on nothing other than a fan being (sexually) attracted to at least one of them. Fanfiction and fanart are sometimes manifestations of this shipping mechanism that allow fans to have something “real” that bonds them to the objects of their obsession. Fanfiction and fanart can also be simply expressions of fandom and have nothing to do with shipping.

Most rational people still understand that shipping is fictional, but some are not able to distinguish the difference and believe their fantasy is reality. Please hear me out.

All the members are aware of shipping culture. It’s been part of Kpop since the get go. There’s no way to NOT know about it. And because Army is so huge, there’s a lot of shippers. I think the members most likely don’t pay much attention to it.

Anyway, because I am going to talk about pairing them off, I wanted to speak about my opinion of what shipping is. Now to say my thoughts about each member of the maknae line:

Talking about Jimin first because I’ve been paying attention to him the longest: He is a deep thinker. He is meticulous when it comes to details.

Jimin is very empathetic, has very strong compassion towards others. We call him emotionally intelligent because he can sense when someone needs support and doesn’t hesitate to offer it. He can be openly emotional. He feels emotions at a very deep level. At the same time, he can be very closed off and we have no idea what he’s going through. This would be the super-private Jimin.

And we know he cares very very deeply about those he loves. I also think he has a hidden need to feel that appreciation and care and trust reciprocated because of deep-seated insecurities about himself that he’s had to work through over the years.

When it comes to his work, he can be extremely laser-focused on goals. He has a work ethic and ambitious drive that is off the charts. He is a natural self-starter and a natural leader.

Other words that describe Jimin: Professionalism. Perfectionist. Constant self-reflection. Humility. He has stated a few times that when he realized Army was still standing by them throughout the pandemic, he thought he could have or should have done more in return.

Jimin lives to be an idol, we’ve heard him say that and we know from years of content that he puts his heart and soul into his singing, dancing and performing. He used to be so hard on himself if he wasn’t perfect. This is his perfectionism and insecurity.

He has said when he dances he is in his own world. To me, that means he feels a high level of confidence and freedom when he dances and this allows him to be the bold and assertive Jimin that we saw for so many years.* (refer to notes at the end of this post)

In his WeLive last week, he assured us he was living a very emotionally calm and routine life these days. His days are filled with the work it takes to make music. He looks forward to a return to the stage soon to see us because he’s an idol and that’s what he does. He is actively taking care of himself to be the best idol he can be. Jimin has found a version of himself that makes him happy right now.

We know Jimin is not really a loner. He reminded us during Festa dinner in June. He is not a soloist, he is part of a group. It is part of his MBTI make up. Personality tests like that will ask the same question over and over, just in different ways. His answers would have leaned toward feeling more comfortable with people, most likely his circle of friends, and not being comfortable when alone. He needs someone to play off of socially otherwise he shuts down.

And apparently his “recharging” mode is sleeping.**

As I said, Jimin LIVES to be an idol. He thrives when he’s with the other members.

Because Jimin is not a loner Jimin needs people in his daily life. People that he trusts, that know all of him. It would make sense that it would be people who can really relate to his lifestyle and life’s work.

At Hobi’s party, after getting over his initial apprehension in an unfamiliar environment, Jimin mingled and spent time with many guests. Instagrams are full of pics of him and others at the party.

Let’s talk about Kim Taehyung now.

Social butterfly Kim Taehyung is definitely an intensely playful personality. He has a great imagination and is very skilled at spinning up a character on the spot and thus acting comes easily for him.

And this leads to one of the main things we love to see in he and Jimin’s relationship: their ability to spontaneously jump into roleplay with each other without saying a word.

Tae has hinted that he’s felt “trapped” (maybe not the right word) in his BTS persona. We’ve heard him talk about wanting to show us other sides of himself as well. He has said that he tried to keep V of BTS and Kim Taehyung separate. This might be something they’re conditioned to do as trainees? I’m not sure, but in Kpop, it’s been said that group members are given a role to fulfill. I don’t know if BTS adhered to this much. If they did at first, they eventually shed this as not being authentic.

But being one to “act out,” Tae can look at people like they are the love of his life, he has this gaze where it looks like he’s about to take them back to the hotel and jump in bed with them and it is not limited to anyone in particular. The times I mostly remember seeing this are during performances. When he does this it is Tae in full “V of BTS” mode.

As much as he’s said about wanting to go beyond V of BTS or to find Kim Taehyung, I don’t think he realizes his idol persona TODAY is really not going to be too far off center from his real self because typically as we mature, we just tend to naturally and unconsciously shed behaviors we no longer need to fit in with our peers and social circles. All the members have experienced this.

Writing this, I realize I probably have not seen enough of the real Kim Taehyung to really say as much about the private Tae as I can about Jimin and Jungkook.

I think private Tae can be very sensitive emotionally. His family is important to him. He doesn’t like rules much (actually I think all three of these guys pick and choose which rules they want to adhere to hahaha).

Tae explores what’s out there in the world, he is more cosmopolitan and lately, he’s really shown us how far and wide his interests span in his tastes in art, fashion and other passions. He’s kind of an old soul with an avant garde streak.

Tae makes friends very easily and is very at ease with his other male friends.Tae is the kind of person who can maintain many friendships at a high level because of his very social nature. He has no problem introducing himself to others as we witnessed during the Grammys this year.

Of all the members, I believe Tae would be the one to handle his album release in a similar manner as Hobi did, having a listening party and it be like a laid back piano/hookah lounge vibe type thing where everyone is sitting around on sofas drinking martinis and eating canapes and couple dancing.

At Hobi’s party, Tae flitted about from person to person, danced in the middle of the dance floor like nobody was watching and pretty much was in his element.

Here’s Jeon Jungkook:

I don’t know how you can hate Jungkookie. He’s like an open book. What you see is what you get. What triggers people to hate on him? I have no idea.

But Jungkook’s personality... to describe him is to just watch him in action ... I would say Jungkook is the most quirky personality of all the members... the weirdo of the bunch.

Jeon Jungkook is an anomaly: starting so young and then finding such global success at such a young age in the cutthroat Kpop industry and still be the sweet, unassuming person that he is, is a testament to how he was able to handle the hard work, grinding schedule, and good luck of having god-given talent and the influence and support of the other members...ESPECIALLY the influence of the others that surrounded him as he grew up.

He is a free-spirit creative. Passionate about singing and dancing and whatever thing is fascinating him this week. The man has perfect pitch vocals and dance skills that are world class. He has a desire to be different. He’s not very outgoing, but like an expressive introvert. Almost what we call a wallflower. Not exactly moody. Aloof? Anti-social is not really correct either. I will find the right word... but definitely NOT an alpha to all you fanfic writers HAHAHA! Definitely NOT the conversationalist that Jimin and especially Tae can be.

Half the time, he appears to just be along for the ride, but I don’t think much gets by Jungkook. Very observant. Very intelligent. Very good memory. But sometimes just can’t stay focused which manifests in being fidgety.

Not an instigator. But not really a follower either... A FREE SPIRIT I SAID! I think he is slightly impulsive too. Has a competitive streak. He has stated he is lazy which to me says he is not a natural self-starter but when he puts his mind to it, will learn a skill or become very disciplined... examples: his boxing pastime and adhering to his conditioning regimen for performing.

Jungkook has matured enough to take care of himself well these days. When in situations that make him uncomfortable or with unfamiliar people, he can now handle these types of instances with confidence but he had to learn how to do this. Jungkook being the type who is not a self-starter, he needs a motivator in his life, but once he gets started, watch out, the golden maknae will become the master.

At Hobi’s party, after checking out his surroundings, Jungkook mostly either sat alone or danced with Hobi.

NOTE: Of course, I was not at the party, no one except the people who attended can really say how the members were while there and who they hung around most. I only have the available photos to illustrate my points.

Jimin and Tae:

Their documented history is well-known. They have talked about and displayed their emotional connection many times. I already touched on their roleplay and their soulmate relationship.

Jimin and Tae butted heads at first, same-agers, young and hungry to be successful at their careers when they debuted, still rough around the edges. We’ve heard from the other members that Jimin and Tae were most likely to have disagreements pre-debut and in the early years. Still learning how to live and work as a team. Which led to the infamous dumpling fight. The dumpling fight supposedly led to what sounds like an emotional soul-to-soul talk.

The story goes, they went around sulled up for a while, then got together, talked it out. Probably some (alcohol-fueled) words were said to each other that peeled away layers and layers of emotional self-protection. If you are able to reach that point, it is very liberating to bare your soul to someone and have them accept you as you are.

I think Jimin’s natural compassion touched something in Tae so profoundly, it made Tae look at Jimin in a totally different light. I think Jimin allowed Tae to feel like he could take (emotional) risks (as a male) that maybe he had not considered or was uncomfortable to do before. And this is the foundation for their level of comfort and ease with each other. They worked it out and the word “soulmate” got stamped on their relationship from there on out.

Today, I believe all the members would consider each other mutual soulmates on some level, but Jimin and Tae were the first to reach that level and maintain it to this day.

Jimin and Tae have told us they speak to each other often. I think they are great supporters of each other’s well-being but I don’t think they spend a lot of time together when not working. Their interests are too divergent.

Tae and Jungkook:

From what I’ve seen, it’s a classic close sibling relationship. I see a lot of rough housing puppy play especially when they were younger. They were partners in crime when it came to being mischievous back then. A lot of physical closeness and skinship. Teasing, some big brother/little brother love going on.

Nowadays they just seem like best buddies slinging their arms around each other. I think Tae naturally falls into his hyung role very easily with Jungkook. I think sometimes Jungkook is done with it though. It’s like super-intense Tae clashing with laid-back Jungkook... a push and pull that is very subtle but it’s there.

I watch carefully but I don’t see a really noticeable emotional connection.

Jungkook and Tae have a great work relationship as does the entire team. That’s what makes them the top of the game. I see A LOT of interactions between Tae and Jungkook while performing, while they are in front of cameras. I don’t hear much about what goes on between them when they aren’t performing.

I don’t think Tae and Jungkook spend much time (if any) together when not working. Their interests are too divergent.

Jimin and Jungkook:

Though they basically grew up together, Jungkook was able to mature into adulthood under the watchful eye of Jimin who was years ahead in maturity.

I would say everything Jungkook knows about being compassionate and empathetic toward others, he learned from observing the other members but mostly Jimin. Everything he knows about work ethic, he learned from Jimin. Everything he knows about enjoying life and celebrating other people, he learned from Jimin. How to navigate uncomfortable situations, he learned from Jimin. He’s said more than once that he watches Jimin and its obvious in all the years of content that he’s always watching him.

There is a palpable level of chemistry between them on-camera. This is the type of thing you can’t really fake. You either have it or you don’t. We’ve seen movie actors have such great chemistry on screen, and then we hear about them actually dating and sometimes getting married in real life. You can’t fake the chemistry.

I think Jungkook enjoys a comfort level with Jimin that he does not possess with the other members. I think we all agree on that. There is an intimacy and closeness in their body language and tone of voice toward each other. It’s been a documented fact by staff and people on the street that they spend a lot of time together during work and off work. What they have in common is their approach to their work and what they choose to do off-work.

There is also a push and pull that is sometimes noticeable between Jimin and Jungkook but they are not really like the others. The thing that sets them apart is the lack of honorifics, the body language and the facial expressions. You just have to watch closely. This push and pull is more about their personalities than the age difference/honorifics customs.

I could go on and on about Jimin and Jungkook because, in my opinion, they have the closest bond amongst the maknae line. I am certain we will continually see this bond between them express itself no matter where they are.

What does all this mean “shipping-wise”? Since in my mind, shipping means an imagined romantic/sexual relationship, I will say I am not a shipper. Vmin are not dating in real life. Taekook are not dating in real life.

I will be honest here, when I see taekook trending, I DO look to see what it is and it will be Tae and Jungkook next to each other in whatever the latest content drop is and that’s fine! But I can never scroll very long before I reach a post that is an edited image (edited Jimin out and inserted Tae with Jungkook, etc.) or toxic/negative/hating on Jimin so I stop looking. I never see this level of toxicity with any other shipping groups.

If any of them are dating in real life, it would be Jimin and Jungkook. Not fantasizing, not creating a narrative. Just watching and seeing things as they happen. We know what we think from the things we’ve seen, but the truth is something only they know.

=====================================

Further explanations noted with the asterisks:

*That long break during the pandemic almost shattered Jimin’s ability to hold on to those parts of his idol persona that were what we call “shameless and bold”. Where did “shameless” Jimin go? Why are we suddenly confronted with so much “shy” Jimin? We heard him say he wondered during the pandemic what his purpose was since he could no longer perform. Jimin lives to be an idol. I would venture to say all that anxiety really wore him down and made him question everything. And the lack of immediate feedback of an audience during all those recorded performances made him lose his confidence somewhat. His subconscious was telling him “what’s the point of this?” But as they returned to performing with live audiences, we saw hints of the old Jimin returning. During the Vegas concerts we really witnessed Jimin getting his mojo back finally.

**Comprehensive personality tests will also describe a person’s natural recharging/rest mode. Some people get recharged by being active like participating in sports, being outdoors, or some other highly physical activity, some recharge by reading, gaming or doing another low physical energy/high brain energy activity, others recharge by socializing with people, and then there’s those who recharge by sleeping. All are valid and natural reflexes according to personality research.

#jimin #taehyung #jungkook #bts maknae line #vmin #taekook #jikook #kookmin

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accio-victuuri · 2 years ago

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On birthday woes : why zz/wyb decided to stay quiet on their special day 🎂🎁

I’ve been wanting to put all my thoughts regarding this whole topic in one place as I try to make sense of it. also if anyone wants to know what I think, then feel free to read along. please don’t take my word for it. this is just my brain dump.

I feel let down tbh, that both of them are not celebrating their birthdays like the previous years. If you think about it, it shouldn’t be a big deal. I guess most people even antis & passerby will be fine with them being all over weibo on the day of their birthday. No matter what is going on in the country. It’s not exactly classified as “entertainment”, tho they are part of that circle. It’s a personal celebration and fans who support them will want to give their greetings. but that’s just me talking. selfish me who was so spoiled for the past years ( bring 2020 celebration back! ). I know they have a good reason to do so and I wouldn’t be such a fan if these two weren’t so self aware and responsible. now let me write about the possible reasons and a bit of cpn.

• Political Timing ⏱

Yibo’s birthday week fell on Nancy Pelosi’s visit to Taiwan ( August 2 ) and the whole political nightmare that created. Tensions were high and people were talking about possible retaliation from China’s side. Add the hyper nationalists who were posting “crying” ( I don’t know how else to call it ) videos on Douyin because Pelosi landed in Taiwan, despite XJP’s regime making them believe that they will shoot down any United States plane that will try and make an independent visit to Taiwan.

All over weibo, you saw people and celebrities sharing the One China ( policy ) post — showing their support to their country. Posts about China’s military, hinting that they are ready for whatever happens. Finally, the morning of Bobo’s birthday, China released their sanctions to the US for what happened. So overall, it wasn’t a good look to be plastering Yibo’s place all over all Weibo. Or in major cities like Beijing or Shanghai for that matter. Tho as i said earlier, a simple personal birthday post or selfie from him wouldn’t hurt— I guess it was just an executive decision to stay quiet.

GG’s day on the other hand, comes right after the National Day Holiday. Also weeks before the National Congress that @rainbowsky mentioned here and if you don’t know the importance of this then let me direct you to @potteresque-ire explanation here. While I do understand how extra careful GG and his team are, also sensitive to current events, I feel like they could still get away with posting a personal photo. It’s also worth mentioning that there are other big-name celebrities who posted birthday content weeks/ days before GG ( Yangmi and WJK for example ). Even someone who posted on the same day as GG ( TJC ).

• Qinglang call & personal decisions

The literal meaning of QingLang (清朗) is “cleansed and uncontaminated.” Originally, the program was presented as aimed at the “control of chaos” (乱象治理的通) in the cyberspace. It was explained that the “chaos” was mostly created by the fan groups of celebrities, where “fanaticism” was on display and inappropriate comments were published on a variety of items.

To those who are not familiar with this, it’s a campaign started back in May 2021 regarding responsible online behavior. You might also remember the boys’ studios mentioning this when they share posts related to fan behavior. particularly with Yibo last year, his studio posted about adhering to rules set by the campaign.

It is important to point out that these rules are not only aimed at celebrities but to big network platforms & companies as well. and as detailed below:

The 4 major points of Qinglang 2022:

• Companies “deepen their understanding’ of the QingLang campaign. They should “effectively improve the political position” and “fight a tough, protracted and overall battle” to make sure that all that is posted expresses loyalty to “the CCP and the Country.”

• The companies should assume and assign responsibility. If something disloyal to the CCP and the Country is posted, the Party wants to know who was responsible for it. “Each responsibility should be assigned to specific positions and personnel to ensure that all stages of work are carried out without compromise.”

• Once the responsible personnel has been clearly identified, it should “control key sections such as topics, groups, and circles.” Further “chaos” will not be tolerated, meaning that posts should be “cleaned up” and if necessary edited or cancelled immediately.

• The companies should “strengthen security. It is necessary to continuously improve the community rules,” and also “improve the political commitment” of company executives. There should be CCP cells in each company office. The Internet companies should acknowledge “the political leading role of Party organizations,” and cooperate in case of “special operations”.

It’s all in the glory of the CCP and gives the impression that everything not aligned to CCP’s ideals is considered chaos. No surprise there.

I actually thought Yibo’s move was something Yuehua recommended and their artists are doing. Since they are, after all, a company that should adhere to the same Qinglang call for suppressing fan behavior. But No. I saw his other label mates posting on their birthday this year ( 2022 ) ( for example Hangeng ).

Which leads me to the conclusion of it’s a mix of this campaign and a personal decision. Let’s face it, these rules were created for fandoms like what ZZ/WYB have. Their solo fandoms are known to be really extravagant when it comes to their birthday ( among other things ) + they have a strong CP following too. Also add the brands they endorse on the mix — they can sponsor birthday events and release special edition bday products. It’s this whole “excessiveness” that the boys and their own studios are ( what I think ) avoiding to happen. It’s a small price to pay for two people who are notoriously private and have always been humble about their fame. The public’s view on celebrities have not been good for the past years — amidst the scandals that happened — it is a conscious choice to not flaunt anything lavish.

Having a quiet and simple birthday isn’t so bad, compared to possible “trouble” they can get into if the celebrations and fan activities are misunderstood.

I’m wondering if the personal part of this decision was discussed between the two of them. It’s not even CPN, even if you don’t think they’re dating, as close friends — they can ask each other. They have celebrity friends i’m sure or even “seniors” to consult but no one in that circle knows what it’s like to be in the position they’re in than each other. Plus they’ve aways had this “understanding” between them from when they met in CQL shoot and beyond. I’m thinking about them sitting down and seriously looking at what they can actively do to be less of a “celebrity” and the first thing that came to mind is give up the whole birthday extravagance. They may have different career paths now but their values are still the same — those of us who pay attention can clearly see that. This is why they work so well together.

I am not privy to what other c-ent celebrities are like but there is a reason why both of them have the fan following they have. They are good people. They ( mostly ) inspire their fans to be better. ZZ/WYB have always tried to set a good example, and oftentimes at the expense of their comfort. It’s so easy to repost propaganda content. It’s easy to attend state approved events. It’s easy to film VCRs/films/dramas to lend “support” to whatever projects the state is pushing. What’s hard is to look into yourself and see what you can let go from all the excess. I am comforted by the knowledge that they can still celebrate their birthday quietly, and that’s how they want it to be. What’s important is they had a good day.

I think the best birthday gift we can give zz/wyb is to have fun on their day. Go out and spend time outside. Have a day to ourselves and not be online.

-END.

#personal #yizhan #bjyx

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thetaekookcloset · 2 years ago

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Most Romantic TK Moments

One of the things I hear very often about Taekook -- outside of TK spaces, but also in them -- is that nothing they do seems particularly “romantic.” Obviously that makes sense, because all we have is public content and even if everyone in BTS didn’t have to hide their romantic relationships, we wouldn’t be likely see much that we would consider outright romantic.

That being said, though, I think there are actually a lot of moments and interactions between Taehyung and Jungkook that can not only easily be read as romantic but for which, in my opinion, romance is the simplest explanation.

Below the cut, I’ve gathered (in no particular order) some of my favorite TK moments that I personally see as pretty damn romantic. I’ll write a tiny bit about each of them, but this post is mostly just a list with some visuals because these moments are too precious not to look at!

Starting out very on the nose: this super soft “I love you” exchange. Could this be platonic? I’m sure a lot of people see it that way. But the way they’re touching each other, looking at each other, the tones of their voices, their smiles and the way Jungkook turns Tae around after this -- all of those details make this moment read as very much non-platonic to me.

How could I make this post without mentioning JK watching Tae with the softest and sweetest expression on his face? Frankly, I couldn’t. There are so, so many examples of this it was hard to pick just two. Seriously this has happened countless times. You don’t really get the full effect from the still images, but fortunately for all of us there are lots of video compilations, literally just of JK staring softly at Taehyung.

And of course: Tae watching JK with literal heart eyes. Nothing about this relationship is one-sided and Taehyung stares at Jungkook with just as much significance and weight as Jungkook so often looks at him. Seriously if they really are only friends, bless them for being so openly adoring of each other.

“My eyes are always on you. I love you.” I confess I don’t know if this translation is completely accurate, but I’ve never seen it translated any other way, and genuinely, this phrase lives in my head rent-free. It will just pop into my head sometimes and it makes me weak every time.

One thing I love about these two is how, when they’re looking closely at each other, you can literally watch their eyes move over one another’s faces. That sort of in-depth interest shows admiration and attraction and I feel like you can just feel it when you see it.

They went to a fortune teller together? And not only were they told that Jungkook lacked/needed more water and Tae lacked/needed more fire, but they have since both made a point of sharing that information? And not only have they shared it, they’ve heavily implied that this is a demonstration of how they complement each other?? (Also the way JK’s smile grows and he bites his lip ring when Tae says, “I need fire, but I have him,” ruins my life.)

Everything about the domino moment, oh my god!!! I mean, for one thing, Tae rubs Jungkook’s inner thigh and I’m sorry but it’s really, really hard to see that as platonic. He goes really far up there lol. But what makes this moment feel specifically romantic to me, rather than just generally non-platonic, is the part that’s actually captured here. The moment where Tae turns around to look at Jungkook and he says, “You startled me,” in absolutely the most heart-meltingly soft voice that I’ve ever heard, absolutely no annoyance or frustration or anything present -- and Jungkook clearly wasn’t expecting any either, I mean, look at that smile. Yeah, honestly I don’t know how to think myself out of this whole moment. So, so much is captured here, I feel.

I have nothing to even say about this one, just: whatever is going on here. I can’t.

Literally everything about GDA 2020. The cuddle moment, of course, this sweet little almost hand-grab, but really just everything. Jungkook was so attentive to Tae that night, following him with his eyes, literally following him when he ran off to meet Pingu, checking up on him, gazing lovingly at him when they were on stage. Just so many good, sweet, very romantic-coded moments.

I’m sure I don’t even need to say anything about Taekook rollerskating together. The way Jungkook helped Tae the entire time, paying close attention to him so he could be right there when he fell, always encouraging him and trying to teach him how to do it. And gosh but the way they laughed through this! This whole moment is sweeter than the ice cream they had afterwards.

This Taekook airport moment is another one that I find it difficult to read as anything other than an expression of comfort between romantic partners. A lot of BTS is cuddly, and a lot of the guys do lean on each other in ways that are similar to this sometimes, but there’s something about this that feels different. Maybe it’s only biased thinking, but usually when we see Jungkook seek out this kind of comfort -- like with Hobi or Jin, for example -- there’s an almost silly quality to it, like he’s playing up his role as the maknae. This moment has never seemed like that. For one thing, it’s in a public place. For another, there’s nothing exaggerated about it. He’s not playing, he’s not being silly. This is just a genuine expression of where he’s at in this moment. He’s pressed very close to Tae, their faces are really close together (even more so when Tae leans his head against JK’s too), and Jungkook even slumps further into him a second after this photo was taken. It’s such a natural and genuine moment that it feels different to me.

Last but not least: the Harry Styles concert. I don’t even know what to say about this, if there even is anything to say about it. They just express so much joy and pleasure in each other’s company here. Jungkook holding Tae’s hand, leaning into each other, singing their hearts out together, their little cheers at the end. And that’s just during “Falling!” Whatever the nature of their relationship, the fact that they were confident to show their happiness and affection here, and to share it afterwards, is so special.

So there you have it! A handful of Taekook moments that seem pretty damn romantic to me. This isn’t even all of them, I could probably have kept adding things to this list forever. I didn’t really want to include onstage moments, though I think some of them qualify, and I had to just call it somewhere because -- considering the fact that we only have public content to draw from -- I really feel like these two love each other so much that it’s easy to see a lot of what they do as romantic.

Did your favorite romantic moments make the list? Is there anything you feel is missing? I would love to hear about those moments that seem especially romantic to you! As I said, this list is by no means exhaustive and I am trash for this topic so feel free to reach out with your favorites!

#taekook #vkook #kookv #romantic taekook moments

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gb-patch · 3 years ago

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Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice?

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other.

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC?

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round?

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment?

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4?

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though-

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships?

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove?

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends?

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^ Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love.

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :]

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end...

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him?

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!!

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game?

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance?

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games!

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it!

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game?

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running?

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch?

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS?

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower.

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥)

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing)

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

#our life #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

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