#I also used to read fanfics in class because of boring it got

[sastielsfandom]

Just remembered when I was still in high school, I wrote a Sastiel fanfic in class. Most of my assignments were online and I just finished a test when I got the idea, so as I was starting a new unit, I was also writing for Sastiel. I didn't finish writing it in class, I finished it at home. That's when I was much slower at writing.

[pinkchrissysposts]

☆LAST POST,THE FINAL ADVICE☆

(Basically answers to asks I got)

Ok first thing first there is no one here to help you manifest,not the bloggers,not me, no one,if reading multiple post on same topic can't help you then why do expect bloggers to help you who are gonna give you same advice,they have been mentioning on their posts. It's not like they are writing about different things,every bloggers are telling you the same thing YOUR 4D/imagination is the true reality,you just have to PERSIST and be CONSISTENT. No like seriously I really feel like you guys are just lazy,why are you depend on bloggers,Im not saying that you can't ask for help and by help i mean understanding certain concept or doubts but you straight up ask to help you manifest or coaching don't do that until and unless they themself mention about being a coach,because see we have a life of our own too,we are God but also human who are busy in their life. Bloggers post this amazing posts talking about law and how beautiful it is. But y'all are so into the victim mindset,as if you are the only one suffering,which is correct YOU are the reason you are seeing the person taking away your sp,you are so into imagining yourself in a broke state and dwell in it,because you feel comfort in it,get a bit uncomfortable dear,you'll endup being comfortable.

You cannot just get comfortable when you are transfered in a new school,new class and the new environment,you first adjust,you go to the school everyday and get used to the new environment then you get comfortable isn't it guys. Manifesting is exactly like this you get in the state of having the desire,it feels uncomfortable,fake,delusional but the more you persist the more you get used to this feeling of knowing. It's not even necessary to be in the state a 24/7,because we are in different state all the time,just when you remember about the desire get in the state or do whatever fulfills you.

No amount of methods won't be useful if you are not even persisting and keep look for 3d validation. To sum up everything all you have to to is persist. Bloggers won't be there for you all the damn time,most of you want to manifest being independent but with a mindset of a dependent person,who are depend on other's for method and doesn't even persist in it then cries,and trauma dump on other's dm.

There is no use of DMing us too you know,we as bloggers are the one end up getting bored or annoyed,because I'm telling y'all legit leave another method and come up with a new one,I have about 50+ dms and asks asking me how to manifest or trauma dumping telling me how they aren't able to manifest,dear of course you won't be able to manifest if you keep looking for validation. I'm not saying that your circumstances aren't that bad,it's probably really hard for you but darling,everyone had faced this challenge,it's hard but learn to ignore the 3D even if it was right on your face. Be stubborn when it comes to manifesting,it took me alot of time as well to adapt that mindset,so I read alot of fanfics where reader gets whatever they want this really got me into the brat mindset,you can also find methods or ways that you help you feel fulfill,I don't care what method you are using JUST DO WHAT FULFILLS YOU NOT ME,I've got alot of asking if they should do or this,you know honey do what you believe is gonna work for you,I'm not the one using that method,i purposely don't even reply because I want you guys to try it out yourselves. That's what every bloggers did too,they learn to trust themselves and their imagination.

OK here, since most of you ask me to help manifest I'm challenging you,for the next two weeks,affirm robotically for your desire,lazy to affirm? You shouldn't be,because majority of you complain about not being able to get in a state and endup saying you'll affirm,then do exactly that.

Wavering? Keep affirming and persist.

Don't believe the affirmations? Keep affirming and persist.

Seeing the opposite? Keep affirming and persist.

Make those affirmation your dominant thought,you will know when it will become your dominant thought when it come up on it's own and you don't get effected by the negative thoughts.

But Chrissy some say affirmation don't work. SO? Keep affirming don't be a weakling just because it didn't work for them doesn't mean it will not work for you,you are not them,you are YOU ,they probably didn't even affirm enough or probably checked their 3D,there are many successful people who affirm Jennifer Lopez,Ice Spice and my fav Taylor Tookes despite being petite she still become a model and even walk on runway and now in cover magazines,if they can do it why can't you,they also affirmed right? Not gonna lie majority of the successful people who are into manifestation are into affirming.

Also log out of X and Tumblr,yes it can be motivating to see success stories or reading motivation but they are of no use,you might see a new post talking about a new method and end up leaving affirming and start following that method. Instead you should've scroll on tiktok,or youtube or making vision board while affirming,it's way easier to then wasting your time here reading posts on same topic written in different ways or perspective. So instead just log out and affirm and PERSIST.

If you are so stubborn about the fact that you can't manifest,then start being stubborn about the fact that you can manifest.

This is now my last post I will be logging out might come to check in sometimes happy manifesting🪷.

[revols-headcanons]

dipper and mabel: piedmont life

also this is borderline a fanfic but i have no motivation or peer pressure to actually write one. also warning there are OC’s in this post. this is potentially part 1 of a series?

both of them are autistic but in different ways. dipper is a “i am so insecure of my place in the world that I can immediately notice when there’s a dip in a conversation because of me” who would rather be alone then face social rejection. mabel is a “i think im really good with people because i am so unaware of social cues that i think everyone is being nice to me” who learned how to tell fake vs true niceness.

neither of them were diagnosed as kids, and how they both figured out was due to mabel helping the disabled classroom at her school and noticing similar habits and thought process from them. then dipper did research and they were like “oh okay that makes sense.”

in their sophomore year of high school, they both had identity crisis’ but in different ways: dipper became an overly cocky ‘too cool for anyone’ loner while mabel had a raging emo phase. both of them became deeply embarrassed of those phases the second they got out of them.

in their 8th grade english class, they did a duo project where they explained their entire summer (the prompt was to tell a fantasy three act story). dipper did the reading while mabel did the visuals (aka one of those pop up books but bigger and with her sound effects). their teacher asked them where their vivid imaginations came from and they told some excuse about being bored all summer.

their parents (who i am naming ingrid and robert) are (rightfully) pissed and confused when their kids start showing major symptoms of ptsd and depression. stan has literally no excuse for it and the twins keep dodging the questions.

ingrid is a anxious, stuck up mother who prioritizes education while robert is the relaxed father who expects the world but refuses to give help or support. let’s just say the twins don’t stay home as much. especially after the disaster the first week at home was when the twins brought waddles home.

after the summer, mabel gets into the trivia club and also tries out the science/engineering/robotics club (she also plays soccer, golf, and volleyball). her arts and crafts skills become incredibly useful when making a wooden structure with the purpose of finding the exact angle and falling distance for a marble. meanwhile dipper decides to try out for both track and football (he’s also in photography club and the school newspaper). dipper is the weakest member on the football team, but he’s the quickest runningback they’ve ever had, so the team doesn’t bully him too much for it. he’s consistently in the top 5 for his school during track.

mabel’s first high school friend is a black girl in her robotics club named aubrey. aubrey has adhd and has basically the same hobbies as mabel (i.e: karaoke, shopping, dancing, art). her second friend she meets at theater auditions (for the school musical, into the woods) where mabel watches her do a 10/10 audition performance and compliments her. she is south asian and named kamini, and her interests consist of theater, soccer, and english. her third friend ends up being the emo loner boy that she talks to on the first day. he’s latino and his name is dante. his hobbies consist of skateboarding, karaoke, and video games.

dipper’s first friend ends up being the younger brother of the football team captain, which is what makes the team stop bullying him. his friend is this kind of egotistical, yet himbo nerd of a dude named ethan— who’s a white boy with blond hair and freckles. ethan is interested in soccer and track as well as trivia, and they met during orientation week when they were the only two kids being ignored for the track club. dipper’s second friend comes from his ap english class, where he watched them cuss out someone for trying to harass a girl in the class. they’re asian and non binary and they go by paine. they like chess, english, and dnd, which is why dipper gets along with them so well.

dipper is able to convince ethan and paine to start a dnd session together, with dipper as dungeon master.

mabel eventually forces dipper into joining the program and dipper agrees to be backstage crew. it works out fine until they realize that their play has an unusually low tryout for men so mabel begs him to tryout for a lead role. he gets it because the programs desperate. he ends up playing either percy or grover in the lightning thief, and mabel gets casted as clarisse/katie/etc.

mabel loves taylor swift (specifically red, 1989, and lover) and also doja cat. she dabbles in ariana grande and marina from time to time as well. dipper has nightmares when he hears mabel, aubrey, and dante singing karaoke for first time.

dipper listens to cavetown and mitski mainly before paine and ethan lightly bully him into listening to the arctic monkeys and gorillaz. he creates aesthetic playlists for when he’s monster/creature hunting. neither of his friends believe him when he describes super natural things until (on two separate occasions) he shows them videos of gravity falls shenanigans and when they run into anomalies in piedmont.

mabel ends up getting a crush on ethan and then dipper has that tragic disaster to deal with.

dipper gets a minor crush on kamini before he learns that she views him as this cute little thing to watch but not dateable.

due to dipper’s boost in confidence, girls notice him and try to ask him out. he gets really flustered and confused, especially when girls who bullied him suddenly want to be with him. he rejects them all.

mabel realizes she’s bisexual when she gets a crush on aubrey and has a mental breakdown about it. she confesses, aubrey says that she doesn’t like the concept of dating at all, mabel takes the rejection decently, and they continue being the best of friends.

mabel gets jokingly asked out by a football boy and then dipper gets so pissed off he punches the dude in the face (mabel had no time to react, because if she did, she would’ve also joined the fight). a fist fight ensues, they both get suspended, and no one messes with mabel ever again.

mabel ends up befriending nearly everyone due to how kind and considerate she is. even girls who hated her from middle school soften because of her. she is a god.

most people are neutral towards dipper due to how he doesn’t really initiate social interactions, but that’s how he likes it.

dipper is an avid buzzfeed unsolved fan while mabel watches danny gonzales, drew goodman, etc.

dipper is trans. he realized he was trans when he was like 8, and he’s been a boy since. he was mainly bullied for being trans, but ever since he got confident, learned how to kick ass, and started taking testosterone, people have left him alone. also his name ‘mason,’ he specifically chose to appease his parents (who wanted two twins with ‘m’ starting names that had 5 letters each), but he goes by dipper because that’s the name he would’ve actually chosen.

the twins have separate rooms at their parents house, but they keep accidentally passing out on each other’s floors (or on mabel’s beanbag, or at dipper’s desk). their parents ask why all of a sudden and the twins say they just got closer over the summer. they would never admit it’s because sleeping in the same room as someone who experienced the same trauma is relieving.

mabel constantly calls grenda and candy, reassuring them that while she also loves aubrey and kamini, that her gravity falls friends will always be her favorites.

robert’s favorite child is mabel because, although he has unfair expectations of them, he gives mabel excuses because she’s more art and people focused, while he’s overly harsh on dipper. ingrid’s favorite is dipper because he also likes puzzles, board games, and higher education, while she looks down upon mabel for being childish and irresponsible.

dipper refuses to give any explanation for having wendy’s hat instead of a normal cap. theories range from ‘he has a girlfriend’ to ‘he murdered a man for it.’ he also cried when a bully threw it in the trash once.

the twins have a bet for whoever becomes the tallest by the time they enter the mystery shack the next summer: whoever’s taller gets to pawn their summer chores off onto the other one for the whole summer. mabel gets at least 8 hours of sleep a night to help herself (though her diet is wack) while dipper eats a lot of height-growing food items to help himself (though he’s never had a consistent sleep schedule in his life).

[ronsenthal]

tag game

✨get to know me✨

tagged by @whollyjoly and @xxluckystrike <3

- Name:

Jessica but since I don't really like my name you can use Jess or whatever you want

- Pronouns:

she/her/hers!

- Star sign:

So I'm a taurus, with aries moon and capricorn rising but theres is way too many aries on my chart for my own good

- # of siblings and fun facts about them (if you have any):

only child, but I do have a half-brother and we met like 2 years ago, he didn't even knew I existed and never talked after so I don't know if that really counts? (i have a really complicated family I know)

- # of pets & their names:

I have 5 (five) little monsters so we have Bowie (orange boy), Amy (white girl), Toto (black angry guy), Geminha (tortoiseshell girl) and Fedora (she is like grey with some yellow and white fur)

- Fandoms:

listen I am a mess but I think mostly BoB of course, some Percy Jackson lately, lots of Harrison Ford and Cillian Murphy??? IDK it's really all over the place

- Favorite color:

it's always changing but I love blues and lately I've been in love with some dark greens and stuff

- Favorite song:

Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie it's like the greatest piece of music ever written, and no this is not even a debate

- Favorite author (of anything readable - books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!):

I haven't been reading a lot in the last couple of years since I had burnout but some of my faves are J. R. R. Tolkien, George R. R. Martin and Bernard Cornwell. I got into graphic novels/comics quite recently and I absolute ADORE Neil Gaiman and Art Spiegelman. As for fics since I joined BoB fandom it's been @softguarnere

- Favorite fic type:

I don't think I have a preference at all as I read a bunch of different things, I'm not really into too angsty or fantasy AUs

- Favorite Holiday:

Idk I really like christmas because all of the mood with the lights, the songs and also because it means vacation time lmao

- Do you have a partner (romantic, qpr, anything!)?:

nope

- Hobbies:

I'm pretty boring since I like to listen to music, read, watch movies and tv shows and some sports on my free time. I also love to look at maps, go to museums and cook sometimes

- Fun facts about you:

Okay so most of you already know that I'm colorblind but I'm also ambidextrous so I can use both of my hands to drawn and write stuff, but it also means I'm so prone to mess up since I get confused sometimes. I have a pretty good sense of direction and distance, like at topography classes I could walk a straight line and tell the almost precise distance, it was a recurring joke my class

tagging, if you want!: @footprintsinthesxnd, @venus-haze, @mercurygray, @ronald-speirs, @bloodstainedsaint, @ewipandora, @georgieluz and @iceman-kazansky

[toi-monogatari]

Radio apple, bonding excersises

A fanfic

Chapter 2, compliments

(here you get the chapters far slower than on my ao3. Use the link to open the chapter or read here under. )

It took a good hour to get all the sinners in the hotel, including the overlord and the fallen angel, to follow into what was supposed to be an exercise room. 

The place was mostly empty. Chairs were stacked into a tower in a corner, few shelves with games and books on the sides and collapsible tables leaning folded against the walls. Some posters hung on the ceiling, spelling “redemption is near”. To some this room brought back memories. 

“This feels like an AA club.” Husk remarked, while chugging his bottle before it got snatched by Vaggie. 

“The resemblance is uncanny, I must say that. But I doubt Charlie had that in mind when setting it up.” Vaggie agreed. 

“I have no idea what you mean with that. What is an AA?” Charlie asked curiously. 

In the corner of the room, while the conversation spanned along, the Radio Demon seemed to lean back. As he observed what he called “the indecent cretins”, the king of hell entered the room. He took a look around and sighed. 

“Oh is your daughter's plan already getting you bored?” The red haired one spoke, to which the blonde laughed. 

“Not at all. It just reminds me of something.”

“Ah of course. You were a failed angel, after all.” The golden grin on Alastors face widened. 

“A fallen angel. And what was that supposed to mean?!”

Alastor didn't answer his question. He just smiled, which upset the short king even more. 

“I am your king, and you shall not disrespect me. You got that?” 

“Or what? You bite my shins? Good luck with that. They're probably too high up for you.” The demon mocked the angel and laughed. 

As a red glow slowly appeared around Lucifer, just before his horns started to show, Charlie called out to everyone, breaking up their scowling once more.

“Alright everyone. I've decided you into pairs. Today we will give positive reinforcement to each other. I'll call out a theme and you shall work on that theme, okay?” 

A silence went around the room, before angel spoke: “can I compliment his dick?” as he looked at Husk. 

“No you may not.” Charlie said, before starting the exercises. 

The first request was “What personality characteristic do you like about the other the most?”

“Ugh. I can't believe I have to do this with you. There is nothing to like about you.” Lucifer stated, looking as much away from the demon as he could. 

“That is because you have no class. If you did, You'd appreciate it.” The Radio Demon scoffed. 

“I have far more class than you do, deer.” 

“There you go. Though I must say, I am not interested in you at all. So please refrain from calling me Dear.” The radio demon said. 

“I called you a deer. An animal. Like what you fucking are.”

“Dad…” Charlie softly said as she came closely. “Please don't fight with Al. You're here to get closer, not get mad at eachother.”

“But Charlie, he's insufferable.”

“He's also my co-manager. So please, learn to get along dad.” 

Alastors grin grew, hearing those words. “Yes your Majesty. Besides, you didn't let me tell you what I like about you.” He said, slowly blowing down. “You're very focused on being a good father, which I suppose came from the years of absence in Charlie's life. You are so interested in giving her the best that you get even possessive over her. It sure does make ones child feel so much better around their parent.”

“Was that supposed to be an insult?” Lucifer asked, not fazed. “Well, your persistence to not go with the time is admirable.” 

Charlie looked at them almost defeated. “The next theme you'll both actually be nice to eachother. Don't insult eachother so much.”

After that Charlie took a step back to announce the next theme of the excercise.

As Charlie was turning around to the rest of the group, Alastor slowly leaned down and whispered to Lucifer. “And the fact each of your wife's hates you.” 

That statement angered Lucifer a tad too much, as he hit Alastor in the stomach, causing him to drop his cane onto the ground as he tried to breathe again. Eversince the fight with Adam, his injuries have still been healing, and he still was not up to full strength, constantly hiding his bandages under his clothes. 

As the demon bend down, trying to breathe, a small slip of blood slipped down his lips. His breathing sounded pained, yet not filtered. After few harsh breaths, he regained his posture, before realising his staff has been missing from his hands. As he bend down, his jacket slipped slightly to one side, and a short, red and black tail could be seen by anyone who was looking alertly at him. Which at the moment was only Lucifer. For a second, a feeling he wasn't aware of sprung up, as his cheeks coloured red, realising the features of the deer being more than just aestetical. The little tail seemed to first lean against his body, as if fear struck him, then it stood up in surprise, as the demon realised the king was still looking at him.

The demon stood up and leaned against his staff. “My eyes are up here. If you can even look that high up.”

“Haha real funny.” The kind answered. “I wasn't even looking at you.” 

“You were looking at my hind. I could notice.” The demon said annoyed.

“You wish I were. So desperate.” He laughed it off. 

Few minutes earlier Charlie explained the new excercise… to which they didn't listen. So when she walked up to them again, it was no surprise they didn't know what was going on. To which she said: “alright, I'll let it slide. But now talk about what you like about each others looks. Good? Good.” She said walking away.

The two men stared at each other. This was a dillema. Neither of them wanted to say something that might incriminate them, nor did they want to make Charlie sad now. 

As Lucifer was thinking what to say, his mind kept going back to the tail. He now was curious what other traits there were about Alastor that he hid. Was he insecure about having such s cute feature? 

“Your shortness? Are you there?” The demon laughed. 

“Huh? What? Right, the exercise. Do you go first?” The king asked, his mind still somewhere around Alastors hip level. 

“No, you go first. I bet you got something quite interesting up your short sleeves.” 

“Quit calling me short. I'm 5’2 and a half! I'm not short. You're just too tall.” Lucifer took a deep breath. “But fine. Since Charlie asked… Your ears.”

“My ears? Care to elaborate?” Alastor asked, just to taunt the angel. 

“No.” The angel answered, quickly turning the subject back at Alastor. “Your turn.” 

“How about not before you tell me. Maybe I'll even let you touch them.” He said with a grin, his ears slightly tilted to the side. 

That change of demeanor made Lucifer think for a moment. Of course he was interested in how the fur would feel. He was a curious person by nature, always has been. Without considering the consequences he blurted out: “They remind me of some of the animals I created. It intrigued me.” 

“Ah, curiosity, of course.” Alastor said, his ears going back up after, realizing it had nothing to do with him. “Well, your voice is beautiful. It would suit the radio well.” He said, and as if heard by god himself, suddenly a loud bang outside the hotel saved Alastor from having to explain himself or uphold his theoretical end of the bargain.

All the hellbound creatures quickly made their way to the front door. And as soon as that opened, a horde of hellborn evildoers seemed to be ready to break them apart.

“We are fucking done with you, princess! We might not be targets of the extermination but your constant fighting against the heavens authority is destroying our home!” One of the imps stepped forward, dressed in a polite yet broken fashion. It had a fancy jacket that saw its wear and tear through the years. And as soon as the short imp with long horns has spoken its mind, all the other imps called out in unison.

“Let’s end this hotel together with its royal family! They are pieces of shit!” As they charged at the hotel and threw bombs at the proximity. 

In fear and confusion, the princess froze, staring at what was happening right in front of her. Her girlfriend and father saw the response and realized that for now, they had to be the ones in charge.

“Vaggie, get Charlie out of here.” The king spoke quickly, as he swung his wings out and opened a portal for them to leave. “And take anyone incapable of fighting as well.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Vaggie agreed, picking up her princess and leaving the hotel through the portal with a tal of sinners.

Before Lucifer even had the chance to say ‘The radio is dead’, The Radio Demon had already transformed himself outside the hotel and started to destroy the creatures one by one. Not wanting to wait himself, the fallen angel flew out of the hotel and started to blast the imps with fire. He knew most of them wouldn’t die by the fire at this temperature, that was not his plan. He just wanted to scare them. Yet they didn’t seem to take the hint, trying to still storm the now empty hotel. 

As the imps kept throwing bombs at the just rebuilt hotel, Lucifer shouted at Alastor: “Weren’t you capable of creating protective shields? Where are they now?”

With a glitched voice Alastor replied, as if choking on his own spit: “Bit preoccupied at the moment, mind you.”

The angel realized something was wrong with his voice. He grew such hatred towards it that by now he could recognise most of the static.. and this one was new. The blonde looked at the redhead and noticed his powers seemed to glitch itself. His form was fading. This wasn’t well.

Thoughts coursed in his head as the moment seemed to have stopped time. If he left the Radio Demon to be defeated now, he would be free of his annoying voice forever, yet Charlie would never forgive him. And there was no way he would lie to his daughter.

“Ah fuck.” The king spouted, before flying there quickly, intersecting between the imps and the demon. An aura of death and power circled around the king, before a powerful blast unleashed at the imps, disintegrating a few dozens of them in the nearby area. Before the demon had a moment to speak out his thoughts, the king spoke on, “Reserve your powers. There ought to be more coming. Wrath imps come in packs of hundreds. And they go for the shins.”

While hearing to reserve his powers the demon decided his full vendigo form could’ve been a bit of a stretch on his reserves, and decided to rely on his body and tentacles. He let his tentacles hold him off the ground, keeping himself at the same height as the flying angel.

“I bet we know from whom they got that.” The demon tried to laugh as his glitched voice got intercepted by him coughing up some viscous liquid out of his mouth.

“Not the time to insult me, get ready.” The king said, as the imps slowly started to surround both of them, as they stood back to back. 

For what seemed to them like hours, what in reality had been perhaps 30 minutes at most, they fought the hordes, causing many deaths upon the opposers. A decision that might very well have consequences in the future, yet not a worry for now.

As the fight finally nearing its end, the Radio Demons body could no longer bare it all, as he passed out, still mid air, his tentacles disappearing and him hurling to the ground at full speed. Lucifer, noticing the sudden silence, turned his head, and instantly his body moved without a thought. He flew as fast as he could, and caught the demon in his arms. In doing so he noticed the blood flowing down his mouth and chest. “Oh for god's idiocracy.. are you serious?”

He started to walk back towards the hotel, the demon in hands. And while doing so, an imp charged at him, hoping to have gained an opening, only to get his face blown off his body with one gentle nod of Lucifer's head. Any imps left decided the only course of action was to escape, while the angel carried the demon back into his room. 

[fala-alfredo-pasta]

On the topic of Nagito resenting Izuru, I actually think it could go beyond that. Something that I'm not totally convinced about is none of Class 77 having any hard feelings towards Hajime. While them loving him inside the simulation makes perfect sense, would that really carry over smoothly once they were back out? Because his actions led to both them being brainwashed and for their deprogramming session being sabotaged in the first place. And to add insult to injury, he can take some solace in feeling less "tainted" than they are. Izuru had more autonomy and self-control during the Tragedy, while they were reduced to vicious idiots acting on whatever violent impulse came to them. Like with Sonia, she has to live with being known to the world as the tyrant queen who brought her homeland to ruin (though I personally like to headcanon that Novoselic is recovering). Meanwhile for the few people who are aware of a 15th Remnant, Hajime is "that one other dude with the long hair that we're not even sure killed that many people". I mean if I came out of the NWP with all that mental (and possibly physical) baggage, and the dude in our group who was most responsible for the rest of us becoming so fucked up was conversely the least guilty of us AND got handed a thousand super-talents...well I think I'd be a wee bit resentful and jealous. And going back to Nagito, it also seems a bit unrealistic to me that in most fanfics there doesn't seem to be any resistance from him to accepting medical aid from Hajime. Or dismay at discovering it was done while he was in a coma. Because on top of him probably not feeling like he'd want to prolong his life, accepting that kind of aid from the former Izuru would probably feel kind of infantilizing to be honest. Dude gets handed everything you ever wanted including a better version of your luck, he betrays Hope's Peak because he's bored, does absolutely nothing while someone dear to you is murdered and you and your classmates get brainwashed, sets things up so that your attempted suicide will actually result in you getting possessed by your nemesis...and now you're just meant to let him assert the power of a doctor over you and welcome him as your savior? I just think there'd probably need to be a moment where Nagito is convinced to accept treatment, rather than it being done to him without his consent. Make him feel assured that he has agency and control over his own body, and that continuing to live was his own choice. Because otherwise I think it could get really nasty. " I don't care that you're the most talented man alive. Even if I'd wanted to live, you, of all people on this planet, YOU are the last human being on Earth that I would want help from."

Ooo this be a spicy take! But some very good points! First off, sorry for taking so long to reply to this question it just this got me back into my Dangan theorist mode, and I wanted to replay all of Chapter 0/6 as well as read a summary of Zero in order to re-examine how the game and novel present Izuru Kamukura.

I’ll try my best not to derail this because Izuru’s whole existence and backstory is just…..such a brain worm for me that I can speculate on for hours. There’s just so much we don’t truly know if we’re basing this solely on the games (which I usually prefer to do seeing as the anime is filled with contradictions). But, doing so would mean having to excuse his involvement (or lack of) in preventing Chiaki’s murder and class 77’s brainwashing since there’s nothing within the games that indicates such things happening since even within game it flat out states Junko manipulated her high power connections (ie: the Ultimates), one by one and not in a batch.

She really only used video footage of explicit killing to manipulate the Reserve Course into rioting (Dr0), the rest of the world into more despair (Dr1) and as a way to taunt the Future Foundation (SDR2). Hell, technically, there is no proof that Chiaki actually existed in real life if we’re going only by the games too. That was something canonized by the anime.

Well okay. There may be ONE thing in the second game that can potentially confirm Chiaki’s existence in the real world and that’s her presence being listed in the book Nagito got with everyone's info. However, this was given to him by Monokuma and Nagito did destroy any of the information regarding his classmates time in and out of  school that could have very well revealed that Chiaki wasn’t ever there—but I digress and this aint about Chiaki rn this is about Izuru.

What we do know of him through the game is that he sees himself as being used by Junko and thus brought in a flash drive with her AI to insert into the Neo World Program as a virus so he could use her instead. This feels contradictory though, if the end result would be Junko taking over all their bodies. You can’t even argue that he did it so Hajime could override his present self and come back because that would have happened regardless (that was literally what was SUPPOSED to happen). So then why bring Junko back? How was he using her in that regard? Well, the only thing I can think of is that he pretty much already knew how it was all going to end, and that creating a killing game was the only way to ensure everyone stayed alive whilst retaining their old memories thus decreasing the chance of them falling back into Ultimate Despair when re-awakened and in a way saying “fuck you” to Junko’s despair and destroying the last remnants of her both in name and digitally.

Cool beans. He still lied to them all though. Junko states that each of them willingly went into the program knowing well that her virus was going to force them into a killing game to cause despair. Izuru, though, didn’t tell them his whole plan or how it was truly going to end, otherwise no one would have joined. And that’s not necessarily bad–he was doing it for their own good! Except, well, there’s not conclusive proof that he did so for their sake (and since we don’t know if Chiaki existed irl we don’t know if he did this for her). Also given how indifferent he is in-game, the fact that his surgery left him emotionally distant, and his lack of connection with class 77, well it’d be easier to believe that Izuru did this all purely out of self interest in a way to get “revenge” at Junko and perhaps alleviate his boredom.

Now, present Hajime WOULD have an emotional investment in class 77 and it’s that reason he sticks around to help them recover. But, honestly, I agree that the ex-remnants would take some time to come around to fully trusting him again because remember: they ARE still recovering from despair. It would not be surprising if their residual remnant emotions feel betrayed by him for lying to them and essentially killing off Junko for good. Add in their in-game memories conflicting with their past memories every time they see Hajime and he’s not quite the same Hajime they befriended thus reminding them that he’s also  that guy who just randomly showed up one day then manipulated them into a scheme for seemingly his own self interest, yeeeah it might take them a while before being buddy buddy with him.

Though they will eventually, but let’s focus on Nagito for a bit because he’d be the absolute last person to come around in fully trusting Hajime/Izuru. Because you see, while it was stated that the remnants agreed to be part of the killing game, we know for a fact that not ALL of them did so. And we know this because of chapter 0. In it, we see Nagito meeting Izuru for the first time (as Nagito literally says he’s never seen Izuru before), thus Izuru has not been in contact with Nagito to inform him of the plan (which actually brings into question WHY Nagito is even there/agreed to re-programming but that’s a theory for another day). We also see Nagito being very confused about Izuru’s talking about his flash drive with Junko’s AI in it. And, although he doesn’t fully understand what Izuru is planning, what he takes from it is that he’ll be able to see Junko again and get the chance of killing her himself. Izuru does not correct him or inform him of anything else. Meaning, Nagito knows absolutely nothing of the killing game he unknowingly signed up for nor of the possibility of his body being taken over by Junko.

In other words: NAGITO DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS AT ALL.

Unlike his classmates who can forgive Hajime’s actions as Izuru because yeah technically they DID agree to it, Nagito was not even informed much less had the option to say yes. You can argue that Izuru did so intentionally knowing that Nagito’s strange half-remnant state and intense resentment towards despair and Junko would have made him too much of a risk to the plan that is was better to leave him in the dark, but it still doesn’t change the fact that Nagito didn’t get a choice. Add in our previous discussion of why Nagito would be resentful towards Izuru because of all his gifted talents along with this and I’d say yeah, Nagito wouldn’t be all that welcoming toward accepting Hajime’s help post game.

This doesn’t even add in your note on pro-longing his life without his input or anything from the anime, so if Chiaki’s death was actually used as a trigger for class 77 and Izuru could have done something about it–YEAH that’s going to make the resentment exponentially worse.

So your last tidbit of Nagito getting a chance to decide something for himself just hits so strongly given he never got the chance to do so before. It’s the least he deserves now.

[bluberimufim]

Writerly questionaire

I was tagged by @xenascribbles (read its post here btw!!) and I've been wanting to do it for a while (it's been so long ago, I'm sorry!!!) because it sounds interesting. Unfortunately, it's long and I am NOT concise.

I'll just leave the tags here: @squarebracket-trickster, @full-on-sam, @olliexwrites, @macabremoons, and @cheeto-flavoured-pasta + anyone else who wants to join!!

About me:

When did you first start writing?

I think I've mentioned this before, but I started writing in 5th/6th grade to kind of codify the lore and story of my friend group's playground activities (because a series of drawings was just not cutting it). Then, we collectively found out I enjoyed it and my friends started asking for fanfics of books we all liked.

Are the general themes you read different from the ones you write?

I don't really go out looking for the themes of a story, I usually focus on interesting plots or characters when I'm shopping for books (I know themes inform story and characters but you know what I mean). Also most themes in my stories are 100% a posteriori (DoS was my first time having themes in mind as I was writing). I usually write the 1st draft and go "oh shit, a theme".

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (room, coffee shop, desk, etc)

I mostly write in my room, usually sitting on my bed because I hate chairs. But I would be remiss if I didn't mention my college's big auditorium, specifically during boring architectural theory lessons. Any project of mine has been at least 30% written during class time, I can assure you.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

I go for a Really Long Walk while listening to music. And fun fact: I've had to make my walks bigger because of this, because when I'm having Thoughts I start speedwalking like a crazy person and it was genuinely shortening my Idea Time because I got home too quickly.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I wouldn't say it's a 1 to 1 thing, but I think the environments in our lives always afects us. In terms of the places I write about, I think my fascination with circuses and magic shows (from which came B&W) stems from the fact that there are no good ones around here. The ones from my childhood were genuinely so lame. But I think mostly it's the way I was raised? My parents are artists and they've made a point of showing me all kinds of art since, like... ever, and I feel like it really influenced me as a person and, therefore, my writing.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

A few years back, I noticed a tendency in my main characters to feel a great sense of nostalgia towards the past, in a way? There was a very prevalent sense of "things were ok at a previous point in my life but not now and I wanna go back". I don't really understand where this came from tho.

My characters:

Would you please tell me about your favorite character? (Current wip, past wip, never used)

I am, on every level, deeply insane about every single named character in DoS. But mainly Seth and General Fallin. I just think they're really interesting. I particularly like the general, mostly because I have almost no chances to write about him, while Seth is the POV character. There's just something about the different perceptions of his actions that are integral his character as a general in a war setting, as well as his inherent hypocrisy in constantly stating how much he cares for his people and being more than willing to commit atrocities for them. Idk, he's got that Nuance.

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Probably Reyna, from B&W. When I first wrote her, I was her age and tried to create someone who I'd like to hang out with.

Which of your characters would you dislike most in real life?

I already despise Nester from the dystopia WIP and he's not even real. And also, I think Diedrich would be insufferable irl.

Tell me about the process of coming up with one, all, or any of your characters.

Most of them kinda start out as concepts. For example, Seth came to be because "healer that takes the life of everything around them for power" sounded like a cool idea. Sometimes they're informed by characters I like or historical figures: Viktor is loosely based on Robespierre, Lucille is vaguely inspired by Cio-Cio San, General Fallin has some faint hints of Griffith, etc.

Do you notice any themes/traits about your characters?

I've noticed that every single one of my 4 WIPs has the extremely specific trope of an older character using the protagonist as a replacement for their dead loved one (usually their child, but sometimes disciple or younger sibling) and projecting onto them. I have no clue where tf this came from but it feels like something a psychoanalyst would greatly enjoy.

How do you picture them?” (as real people you imagined/as models/actors that exist in real life/as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc)

I actually picture all my characters in my artstyle!! Actually, I "see" most of the worlds in my stories through my own artstyle!

My writing:

What’s your reason for writing?

You see, I have all of these ideas. They are just lying around. And, as I said before, just drawing them isn't gonna cut it.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

On what is actually my least-read fic on ao3, a person left me a multiple paragraphs-long comment about how they would be thinking about that fic for years, that I wrote the characters as "canon but better", that they would read any other fics I posted in the future, and that they made an account to leave said comment. I'm not saying that this is the only type of comment I enjoy, but it has really stuck with me for the past year and when I read it I kinda wanna cry. So. I guess that.

How do you want to be thought of by those that read your work? (for example, as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition as a talented worldbuilder, or a role model, etc)

I've always wanted to be one of those writers that just really Gets the human mind, you know? Like, I've read stories where my regular person brain was going through all sorts of Things while my writer brain kept shouting "THIS MAKES SENSE!! THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!!!", and that's who I want to be. (I feel like I'm not expalining myself correctly???) This is kind of a tangent, but I've read/watched stories so good that I was left just literally Sitting There, my thoughts completely silent, literally incapable of being a functioning human being for about an hour because my brain just wouldn't come down from the story. And that's my goal in life <3

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Probably my character building.

What have you frequently been told your greatest writing strength is by others?

My story ideas/concepts. Like settings and worldbuilding and such.

How do you feel about your writing? (answer in whatever way you interpret that question)

Overall, I like it! I spent a long time working to a point where I can actually enjoy my own work. And I'm obviously not saying it's perfect. No one sees more flaws in it than me (bc I virtually never show it to anyone), but I won't say it's bad to sound better. I'm having fun, dammit!

If you were the last person on earth, and knew that your writing would never be read, would you still write?

I would still have stories to write even if there was no one to show them to. I would still draw and sing without an audience too. Because my art is, at its core, for me. It's a need.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I used to consider what others might like, and I still kinda do sometimes because my main beta reader is my MOM, but I've mostly let it go tbh. After draft 2 of B&W I shouted "I'M NEVER WRITING ROMANCE AGAIN!!!" and here we are. At the end of the day, I'm writing mostly to have fun, so I should be able to do whatever I want.

That was fun!! I love questionaires/this interview format thingy. Makes me feel fancy.

If you're made it all the way down here, hiiii <3<3<3<3<3<3 sorry for never shutting up and not being concise. It will happen again.

[yellowocaballero]

How did you get into writing?

That one's kind of tough to answer. I feel like there's a simple and a complicated answer. I'll try and go for simple.

It's partly genetic. My mother wrote Buffy fanfiction in the early 2000s. She put it up on her Buffy forums. It's quite good. When I told her I was flying out to meet an internet friend, she was like - ah, yes, the joy of meeting internet friends! I hope you have fun! Icon.

I read a lot of books and comics as a kid for very boring reasons. I think if you do enough of that, it's pretty natural that you want to write something yourself. I remember vividly sitting in my office period in 8th grade, bored out of my skull, and deciding I wanted to write a story. I grabbed a random sheet of office paper and wrote a. Uh. One page Batman fanfic. OTL.

The thing about writing is that you don't have to stop doing it. It's just writing on a piece of paper, or writing on a Word document. You can do that shit in class. You can do it during lunch. You can do it in the library. You can go home and do it on Microsoft Word 2003. You can mentally write it in class and then go home and physically write it. You can do it on the bus as your friends make you write stories about them riding narwhals. I used to get smashed drunk and write (a small percentage of my AO3 fics were written drunk - I got called Hemmingway a lot). My family was very poor growing up, and writing didn't require any money. It was completely free. It didn't require any equipment or a space. It didn't require other people. You didn't have to stop doing it. So I didn't.

The other thing is that I love writing. I love the act of writing. It does not matter what I'm writing, it does not matter what the story is, and it doesn't matter how good it is. You know how your grandma sits in front of the TV and knits, not so she has a potholder or anything, but just because knitting is relaxing? It's like that for me. Writing is fun. I don't remember ever caring if it was bad. When I was 13, 14, 15, I don't remember ever worrying over if something was bad or not. I remember looking at lines and thinking - these are awesome lines. Or I remember how great it felt to put my elaborate daydream on paper.

Writing is the only hobby I've ever really enjoyed. I should find more hobbies. Ones that involve going outside with groups of people. Writing's made me a ton of friends but they're all online. I could meet up with writing groups in person, but then I'd have to talk to actual writers (worst case scenario). I'll have to fake interest in DND or something.

Oh, also, fwiw - during middle school I wrote fanfic, during high school I wrote almost entirely original fiction. I didn't write much in college because I was a Neuroscience major. And when things calmed down I decided god was dead and writing was for fun and my life was hard enough already, so I went back to fic. The fic is a choice.

[whetstonefires]

💖🎶🛒

For the fanfic ask meme :3

💖 What made you start writing?

I...okay so there's a dumb literal answer to this I'm going to give first. My sixth grade English class was a two-semester-long creative writing seminar, where we were honestly taught almost nothing; the teacher just. Made us write things. Whatever things. For months.

She was incredibly patient with our baby shit, looking back, although when two of her students started writing execrable sixth grade poetry she set us on each other so we could get feedback without her, and managed not to make it obvious she was trying to escape the horror of sing-song childish scansion and the way kids that age take themselves horribly seriously and you have to not laugh.

Her name was Keely and I owe her, because up to that point I had refused to write my ideas down because if I slowed down enough to get a sentence written out I'd have forgotten all the bits that came after and the story was now dead and stupid and it was the worst, so writing was clearly not for me.

(I couldn't really type at this point, and didn't have reliable computer access anyway, and I'm left-handed, which makes writing longhand slightly slower and more difficult no matter what you do. Also you just don't write fast when you're ten.)

But Keely made me, for months, and it turned out this was a skillset I'd just had to work to acquire, and then I could do it and it wasn't a miserable soul-killing process after all. That's the first time I remember learning that lesson in life, and it's such a useful one. (Technically I went through a similar process with reading several years earlier, but that was partly because some very bad pedagogy put me off it at first, so it was less enlightening.)

Less prosaically, I got stuck on writing because I was a voracious reader and I kept thinking up stories, and writing them down was rewarding.

I find it's a great craft because you can get in all kinds of practice without actually doing it; you can string and edit sentences in your head when you have nothing to do or while doing something boring, and critique fiction you're exposed to, and try to understand literally anything you experience, and it's all applicable. As someone who gets frustrated with 1) materials consumed 2) skill plateaus and 3) having a Thing around after having made it, writing in the era of the word processor and cheap data storage is ideal, because it's both easier to keep my skills growing and harder to notice when they aren't than with most creative outlets, because I can store all the millions of words I've written in an object the size of my thumbnail, and because it's not supposed to do anything useful in the first place. If it does that's a happy bonus but if it doesn't I don't have to feel bad.

Fic is nice because it's got an audience to share the Things with, which makes it even better. And because you get to start at around the complexity level of a third or even fourth draft, skipping a lot of grunt work that I think is honestly overvalued--not that it's not valuable or important skill to have, especially if you want to be a novelist, but also there's a reason people on the whole mostly tell familiar stories over again, but better. The first go will suck in basically any medium. Insisting on starting there every time can lead to subtler skills getting underdeveloped.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Occasionally? Most of the time it would just be a distraction I'd have to work through, setting myself up for sensory overload and maybe a migraine.

But when I do it often is a single song on a loop, because the point is that I'm keeping myself suspended in a particular vibe as I pursue a specific scene or character relationship or something. Hasn't happened recently, but I should maybe pull that trick out and see if it helps with any of my stuck pieces.

I seem to recall writing something once to about 19 iterations of Dessa's 'The Lamb?' Oh and several passages of Angels Still Have Faces were written to the Sonata Arctica song I took the title from; it helped me get Angeal to the right state of repressed extreme melodrama.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Um. Food? Definitely food, between my strong opinions about subsistence informing social priorities and my personal sense that meals are both a major part of the daily pattern of life and very grounding in a place and body, I come back to it endlessly. 'Two people in a room (or other defined space granting privacy) trying so so hard to communicate' is, you know, pretty common motif but I go embarrassingly hard on it.

I'm a sucker for certain flavors of angst, and for when someone is very hopeless and then someone else gives them support. I think maybe people breaking down and asking for help and then actually getting it? And just how gross and messy it feels to be miserable and how much of it happens in the body.

What else? I feel like a third party would be better able to call me out on my patterns. A lot of them after all are the patterns of my thoughts, to a sufficient extent that I experience the universe in those terms by default and that's why it keeps being there.

When I describe hugs I tend to be very precise about where everyone's arms are because I feel like that's important. I try to be specific about features of nature like the species of a bird or tree or whatever, unless the pov character wouldn't notice such a thing, and even then I often know for the sake of precision. Lots of hand gestures, and putting of one's hands on pieces of scenery and so forth, that's my theater background coming through mostly. A tendency to emphasize the kinetic relationship between objects perhaps a bit more than usual.

If I'm describing a character that has an existing visual form, I drill in on the most distinctive details I can find; this is probably by way of mild face-blindness meaning I care a great deal about whether someone has a crooked eyebrow or distinctive dimpling or something, because I'm not going to learn their face fast enough to get away with not being able to id them and call them by name until then. It usually takes months.

Diana Wynne Jones advised making sure your mental image when you describe something, especially a place, is as precise as possible, so you won't decline into abstraction, and I've found following this advice to reliably net good results. If you only know about the things you actually mention, things get flat real fast.

(The trick then is not getting bogged down in deciding which things to mention.)

I dunno, what would you guys say are my signature moves?

[ricesoupremacy]

have a seat child lemme tell you a tale

ok so we’re doing this

@thepermanentscowl i'm just going to post this here because...no one looks at my blog anyway lmao and i don't care

i'm just going to pray i don't look back at this and regret telling you embarrassing shit but fuck it we ball and also i trust you.

warning: this is probably going to read like a shitty cringy school fanfic (look i have girl friends who use wattpad so i am cursed with knowledge okay) but this is absolutely 100% true.

warning #2: there’s a lot of meandering but i won’t apologise because. it’s my story and i’ll tell it however i want.

warning #3: if it seems like it gets a bit dramatic towards the end it’s because i got sad.

overall warning: very long. unedited. full of random shit. read at your own risk.

ANYWAY prepare yourself to read a love story better than romeo and juliet, than jack and rose, than even twilight. prepare to read the most beautifully tragic romance ever.

where do i begin.

Ok so when I was in fifth grade, I had the misfortune of somehow landing in the worst class an idiot child like me could end up in. I was never the “quiet kid”- on the contrary, I was always the one jumping on tables and getting sent out of class- but being with people like my classmates made me a Sad Boi for a whole year. You know, 10-11 year-old kids who’d just realised romance was a thing and who felt the need to incorporate it into every aspect of their dumb almost-middle-school lives. Every day was ‘OoOOHhHh wHo dO yOu LiKe’ or ‘oOOOhHHh wHo ArE yOu LoOkInG aT’. I couldn’t really blame them for getting over-excited, maybe I was just boring for my age. Anyway, I morphed into a kid who spent his lunch breaks sneaking books from the senior library and consulting a mini Oxford dictionary whenever I was in doubt, which was often.

It wasn’t just the teasing that got on my nerves, it was that my classmates were those pre-adolescents who’d later grow up into those wannabe Am-EHRIK-en teenagers- thinking they were so cool and sporting superior ‘Oh you don’t watch so-and-so hot boy’s Youtube channel? How saa-yad.’ airs that made me want to gag. I digress but whatever.

Needless to say, the Oxford Pocket dictionary was my best friend that year.

From a kid who ran into school bright-eyed and beaming every day, I turned into one who dreaded the prospect of entering a class with fresh hormone charged, irritating-beyond-words kids who were more concerned about some low-life’s Youtube tutorials than playing Tag. I did not care about next year. I was going to stay a silent emo kid planning murder at the back of my class forever. Was…what I thought.

___

I hadn’t even bothered to look at my 6th grade class list properly when we went for the end-of-the-year PTM. I was mildly surprised that I’d been shifted to a class with a completely different set of kids, many of whose names were unfamiliar. It’s probably going to be a repeat of last year, I thought. Whatever, just keep your head down and find something good to read. And let them think you’re the snooty class-topper who looks down on everyone else. You don’t care what they think of you, anyway.

Those were the sunshiny thoughts running through my head when I walked through the corridors on the first day of sixth grade, ignoring the kids running around and chattering happily with their friends, completely oblivious of the fact that one of those kids was running way too fast without looking- in my direction. Next thing I knew, I felt a body slam into me, knocking me to the ground. I fell on my school bag, the other kid fell on top of me. He immediately got up, but I barely saw him. I was too busy opening my bag to check if my books were okay- and they were, by some miracle. No damage. It was only when I breathed a sigh of relief that I became aware that some kids were asking if I was alright, and the boy who had run into me was apologising profusely and looking very guilty. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at the boy warily. Wildly curly hair, glasses askew, shirt untucked. He looked like one word- trouble. ‘It’s fine’, I said to him. ‘I’m fine. Stop saying sorry.’ He looked relieved.

I got up and began to walk to class. The boy fell into step beside me, and said ‘You’re Arya, right?’

I looked at him, surprised. ‘Yes…how do you know my name?’

He seemed excited for some reason. ‘Um, I saw you at the inter-house Spell-Bee last year. You were really cool. I didn’t even know half the words,’ he grinned.

I looked at him properly for the first time. He came to my shoulder, he had brown wide eyes, and he spoke really fast and animated, like an RJ.

I found myself grinning back at him. He had the most infectious smile.

‘I’m Vishwesh!’ he said very excitedly.

‘Sounds like “fish”’ was the first, highly intelligent thought that I blurted out and immediately hated myself for saying. What the hell, I thought. WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE THEY JUST MET?!

Vishwesh stared at me. Then he laughed. ‘You’re right, it does. Hey, you can call me that if you want.’

I was confused. ‘Sure? You want to be called Fish?’ 

‘It sounds funny. I’ve never had a funny nickname. And we’re in the same class.’

We were? What a coincidence. At least there seemed to be one guy I could be friends with.

Fish walked me to our class, talking about last night’s cricket match that I hadn’t watched. I decided that I liked his voice. A little higher than most boys our age, frequented by voice cracks. His constant stream of chatter was weirdly soothing. I usually got really annoyed by people who didn’t know when to shut up (still do btw).

We climbed up the last flight of stairs and stood at the doorway. I stared.

The first thing I saw was a boy standing on a table and scream-singing “Thunder” while a bunch of other guys ran around him like they were summoning a spirit. The second thing I saw was a group of girls throwing a tennis ball at each other. One of them threw it a bit too hard (obviously, an accident. Obviously.), and it sailed out of the class and hit our (female) chemistry teacher- who was flirting with our (male) biology teacher- right in the face. The chem teacher stormed into class yelling at the girl (who was making a heroic effort not to laugh), while the bio teacher took the opportunity to go pasta la vista, and the demonic chanting of “thu-thu-THUNDAH” just grew louder. It was the most chaotic scene imaginable. Fish looked at me and chuckled. ‘Better get used to stuff like this.’

I almost shed tears of joy.

I’d finally found my people.

___

Surprising most people including myself, Fish and I got along like a house on fire. Classic anime trope- short idiot delinquent boy who’s actually really nice becomes besties with the tall brooding introverted topper (not to bRaG). We bonded. Even though we were…different. He was fun. And he brought back the dying fire of fun in me.

I also became pretty close to the aforementioned Thunder-boy and Tennis-ball-girl- their names were Tanmay (yes, that guy with the plane and bomb knowledge) and Nadia. Who were. Also grade toppers. Somehow.

Apparently Fish had joined the previous year and had become fast friends with Tanmay.  The kids in their section hadn't been shuffled at all, except for me. I was the only one who didn’t already know everyone. But that changed pretty quick. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming, it felt like I’d known them for ages. Especially Fish (which is what I ended up calling him all the time).

Initially, I got the feeling Tanmay disliked me (he did). I felt this hostile energy radiating off him whenever Fish started fanboying about Eminem to me. I guessed he felt a bit put out that his best friend had betrayed him, but it’s not like he completely ignored Tanmay. I tried talking to him too, but I was often snubbed. Idiot. Anyway, I soon used his weakness (Imagine Dragons) to charm my way into his heart and boom, Tanmay suddenly loves me. The three of us became a really tight friend group. But Fish and I always did practically everything together.

I guess it was because we complemented each other really well. Fish was absolutely reckless, and he needed moi to make sure he didn’t kill himself (mom energy lol). I’d grown too withdrawn, and he helped me loosen up. And we both loved cricket.

Once, we were hanging out near the school swimming pool. It’s open and the adjoining compound opens into the school owner’s mansion. The brick wall that separates the school and house isn’t high, but no nut would dare trespass.

Except my nut best friend.

He was trying to show me this trick with his ID card, and accidentally flipped it too high. It sailed over the wall and onto the owner’s manicured lawn. We both looked at each other. Before I could say, “Don’t even think about it,” Fish had taken his shoes off and hauled himself up with the agility of a small monkey, and jumped to the other side. I held my breath and waited, and soon his head popped up over the wall, followed by the rest of his body. He sat there and swung his legs, and we realised that he’s made a Miscalculation. See, the owner’s plot was a level higher than the school ground level. So he could jump to the other side, no problem. But he couldn’t jump back to this side without breaking his ankles. So he had to carefully turn and feel for a foothold on the brick wall while hanging precariously by his fingers.

Climbing down a wall is often a much more terrifying ordeal than climbing up one, especially for a barely five foot tall child. He tried to act cool but I could see his hands tremble. Fish’s foot was just a few centimetres above a hold he couldn’t see. He gingerly placed one foot on it. Then the other.

Then he slipped.

I caught him.

I staggered back, but somehow, somehow, I didn’t lose my balance and fall and kill us both. I set him on his feet.

He beamed and waved the retrieved ID like a medal. ‘Mission accomplished.’ I laughed.

‘Thanks, dude. I thought I was gonna die. When the hell did you get so strong?’ He punched my shoulder.

‘I’m not strong, you’re just small,’ I grinned and ruffled his hair.

Fish scowled. ‘How dare you insult me? I’m not small, you guys just grow abnormally fast.’ He said that in a highly offended voice, but he was smiling.

‘Who said I was insulting you? Being short isn’t a bad thing, you know,’ I was still grinning at him. ‘Short people are cute.’ And with that I slapped his back (not gently). He howled with pain, scowling at me when I laughed at him. In revenge, he pulled my cheeks really hard. Normal affectionate guy behaviour. I almost threw him into the pool, but a P.E teacher caught us and took us to the headmistress for “causing a ruckus”.

The consequences when she found out Fish had climbed into the owner’s compound were…not pretty. I was let off because I didn’t technically do anything lol.

I don’t know why I typed out that (painful) incident but I just remembered and it was funny. And it proves the point of Fish being An Idiot who would do anything without hesitation. We did a lot of shit together. Good times.

Sixth grade was really fun, it helped me go back to being the silly kid I had always been. Even the girls weren’t jerks like the ones in my old class, they were really chill and funny. Before I knew it, the academic year had ended.

Through that summer, I desperately hoped I would have the same classmates. Sometimes my school would shuffle random classes, and the teachers had threatened our Very Disciplined Class that we’d all be separated in seventh because no one could handle such “hooligans”. I don’t know why they would say that. We were absolute Sweet Children™. Anyway, the gods must’ve taken pity on me because there was absolutely no shuffling in seventh, except one new girl who’d joined that year, and she was nice enough. I was over the moon.

Teasing and shipping was prevalent even in sixth, but it was never beyond a limit. I didn’t care about it.

If it was even possible, Fish and I grew closer that year. Both of us had grown, but I was still taller. I was one of those kids who shot up in middle school but stayed the same height after that, while all the other guys grew taller than me in high school. Sad.

___

There was a sort of cult that started in sixth and continued in seventh- the Percy Jackson cult. Everyone in my class was reading it, almost at the same pace. I started reading it late, so by the time I was done with The Last Olympian, most kids were already on The House of Hades. But I was fast, and I was catching up.

Since everyone was reading pretty much together, they all reached one scene in HOH before me. And that scene created a HUGE uproar.

I remember walking into class from the bathroom one morning, and Tanmay ran to me like Sonic and yelled ‘DUDENICOLIKESPERCY’.

‘What?’ I said. ‘Nico? The Hades kid?’ I still hadn’t started HOH.

‘YEAH, HE HAS A CRUSH ON PERCY. LIKE, HE’S IN LOVE WITH HIM.’

‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Okay.’

To be honest it didn’t exactly shock me or anything. That a guy could like another guy. I didn’t understand why Nico would like Percy of all people but hey, I get it. Percy is Percy. Apparently the Cupid scene became the most disliked part of the books, because soon everyone was cussing at him and crying over Nico. Someone engraved “FUCK EROS” on the wall. I visited my old class a few months ago, and it’s still there. Nico was a really popular character in my class so. I guess the reaction was understandable?

‘Hey, stop spoiling it for him!’ Nadia (best girl friend) scolded Tanmay. ‘He barely started Heroes of Olympus, how would he understand the context?’

‘Wait, but Percy’s still dating Annabeth, right?’ I asked. They nodded. ‘So…it’s a one-sided crush? That’s…sad.’

‘I knowwww, right?’ Nadia sighed. ‘I hope he gets a boyfriend by the end. My poor boy deserves it.’

‘Apparently he dates Will Solace,’ Tanmay added very helpfully, before either of us could stop him. ‘And what do you mean, “my poor boy”? He’s older than all of us, he’s not your son.’

Will Solace, the Apollo kid? Damn, I thought, while Nadia and Tanmay started fighting over spoiling stuff before reading them yet again.

‘Anyway, did you expect that? Nico being gay?’ Tanmay seemed unable to let this very interesting topic go. ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I got the impression he liked Annabeth.’

Tanmay was going to say something, but Fish entered the class just then. He ran to him and repeated the question with the same enthusiasm. Fish didn’t really seem to care; he was more worried about a math test he did not know was going to take place until two minutes ago. 

He walked straight to me and asked me to write all the formulas for the chapter on the board and explain some tough sums to him. ‘Why do you always ask Arya for help with homework and stuff?’ Tanmay raised an eyebrow.

Fish and I blinked at him. ‘Be-cuhhhhhhs he’s smart?’

‘Well, so am I!’ Tanmay said indignantly.

‘Are you seriously jealous?’ I snorted. T glared at me. ‘Even…even Nadia’s smart, why don’t you ask her?’

Fish looked at Nadia. ‘Uhh she is, but, I don’t know?’ He grinned. ‘Are you jealous?’

Tanmay was considering the both of us carefully. ‘Nope.’

‘Great,’ Fish said, pulling me to the whiteboard and shoving a marker into my hand. ‘Then let me get the help I need to pass.’

___

Middle school boys have the irrational urge to seem cool physically (for the girls or for their own egos, who knows), which is why arm wrestling became a favourite pastime at some point. Teacher disappears for five seconds, you suddenly have an arm wrestling ring in the middle of the classroom.

I took part in them too. I guess that moment when the back of your opponent’s hand makes contact with the table filled me with some sort of heady joy because I wasn’t necessarily the strongest guy in class. I’ve heard girls snicker that arm wrestling is just an excuse for guys to hold hands and I wonder if that’s true lol. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t.

I don’t know if my feelings for Fish were purely platonic at this particular point, or ever. I don’t think I’ll ever know.

Some people talk about a moment when they “fall in love”. I don’t know if I believe that. I don’t know if it’s actually possible. But I guess this is close enough for my “at that moment…I knew”.

It was a free period. I was arm wrestling with Fish. The class was cheering. I was winning easily.

Fish was frowning from exertion. ‘Damn it,’ he panted. ‘Have some pity on me.’

‘If you’re going to try and distract me, it won’t work.’

‘You’re clearly winning, there’s no point anyway, Ari.’

‘Ari?’

‘Heh, like Ariana Grande, no?’

‘“Ari” means “rice” in my mother tongue.’ 

‘Then we make a pretty good South Indian meal together, eh?’ (Rice and fish curry. Both of us are South Indians)

I smiled, but said nothing, just concentrating on his arm inching closer to the table with every passing second.

And then he did something that knocked the breath out of my lungs.

He said my name.

Okay I- I know that sounds crazy. Fish must have said my name a gazillion times before. But somehow…when he said it then…the world stopped for me. I know it sounds cheesy as hell. But. Just. The way he said it. The way he just quietly said ‘Ah-Ree-Ah’ as if to himself, those three ordinary syllables that made my name, as if he was trying out their taste on his tongue and he wasn’t sure what to make of it, as if he was trying to see if it sounded special, as if he was trying to find something in it-

I went still, boisterous class and stupid wrestling match be damned. I stared at him as a shiver ran down my spine and something went tight in the base of my neck. He hadn’t noticed. He was able to gain on me, slowly pushing my arm down as my grip and my concentration wavered. The class whooped at this plot twist, oblivious to my internal panic.

But it only lasted a second.

I pushed down viciously and slammed his arm onto the desk as my friends erupted into cheers. Fish winced slightly and flashed his signature lopsided grin at me. ‘Good match, dude. You work out or something?’ He joked.

He didn’t seem to know what he’d done to me. For one second, I hated him with an intensity I hadn’t felt in a while. For one second only. Then I was flexing my wrist and laughing with him like nothing happened.

___

I guess some part of my brain had dimly registered that this was probably what kids were constantly snickering about- a crush. Did I have a crush on my best friend? When did this happen?? I wasn’t sure what to do with that information. I wasn’t sure it even mattered.

Maybe I was just a tiny bit more jumpy around him now that I was maybe sort of aware. Maybe I was a tiny bit scared. Of what? I wasn’t sure. Of him? Of myself?

I didn’t care.

He was still my dumb best friend. We still hung out. Nothing mattered. Nothing was ever going to change. And I didn’t mind that. As long as I could laugh at him making a fool out of himself and help him with math and create stupid games together, I didn’t mind.

It wasn’t going to make a difference.

___

Around the middle of the academic year, I began to notice a slight change in Fish’s behaviour. He started being more…touchy-feely? I mean, most guys in middle school (and forever after that too, actually) have zero regard for personal space around each other. Drape your arms around your bro’s shoulder, he won’t mind. But now it was different. Maybe it was because I liked him and hence was hyper-aware of every tiny thing he did, but I noticed. For starters, he jumped on me. Literally jumped onto me from behind. A lot. Then I’d give him a piggyback  ride to wherever. As bros do. I thought I would get used to it but he always managed to take me by surprise and almost kill me lol. And there were other things. He’d grab my wrist or my arm a lot.

As the year went on, the stomach-somersaulting sensations got worse. And I think sometimes, I ended up staring at him like an idiot without realising it. Embarrassing.

I don’t know what Tanmay is made of, but man figured out something was up very quick. I finally worked up enough courage to talk to him because I was a confused muddle of emotions and I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

I told him I thought I might like Fish. Yes, might like. I think even though I’d sort of accepted it, I didn’t necessarily want it to be true, if that even makes sense. I was in denial, basically.

T listened to me rant and stutter without a word. Then he asked me a really simple question that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t considered earlier- ‘Do you feel the same way around Vishwesh the way you do around other guys? Like me, for example?’

Of course I didn’t.

‘Dude,’ Tanmay wasn’t even trying to hide his smile. ‘You like him.’

I said something intelligent like ‘Uh. No. I mean, maybe. I don’t know. Shit. I don’t know. At all.’

Tanmay rolled his eyes. ‘Okay, I was wrong. You like him a lot,’ he corrected helpfully.

I consider myself lucky to have him as my friend.

___

Tanmay promised not to tell anyone, but with the way I was acting and with the way Fish was suddenly…different somehow, other kids caught wind of something. They talked. And, yeah, we were shipped. Kind of. I didn’t like it only because Fish got all uncomfortable and then he’d get mad. He stopped jumping onto me like a monkey. He stopped sitting near me. All that, I could deal with. Quite honestly, I didn’t blame him for that.

Then he stopped talking to me.

He’d straight up ignore me. And obviously, that made everyone talk more.

There was a new girl I mentioned, who joined our class that year? Suddenly, she became besties with him. And he’d always talk to her very pointedly while she giggled and shit. I don’t care that this is the jealousy plot of every gay romance ever- I was burning with jealousy.

If he wanted to play like that, fine. I didn’t give a damn.

I ignored both of them pretty well.

I was angry. I was angry at him for caring so much about what we looked like that he found the need to convince other people there was nothing between us. If there wasn’t, then what was the point anyway?? Was our friendship really that fragile that one barely considerable “rumour” reduced us to strangers trying to get each others’ attention by not giving each other any attention?

And then there was the girl. She was fine when I first met her, but maybe I was just pissed off in general, but she started to piss me off more. That was probably unfair because she didn’t even do anything except talk to him when she knew I was looking.

Tanmay seemed very amused that I didn’t know what was really going on. ‘She likes you, duh.’

‘She what now?’

‘Classic girl trick. Give your best friend more attention than you to make you jealous.’

‘That…is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.’

‘It’s girl stuff.’

‘I don’t get girls.’

‘Yeah I can see that,’ he laughed. I glared at her. I saw her blush and that made me angrier. She did make me jealous- jealous of her.

‘You need to stop hating on her.’

‘It’s her fault.’

‘You know that’s not true.’

‘I know…I just…this all sucks.’

‘Maybe you should stop being such a jelly little boi.’

‘I am not being a “jelly little boi.’

‘Don’t lie to meeeeee, someone’s jellyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-’

‘Please stop-’

‘aRi’S JeLLyYyYyYyyYyy- wait. Oh. My. God.’

‘What?’

‘I just realised…if you’re jelly…and he’s…Fish…’

‘Oh my god don’t you dare-’

‘The both of you make JELLYFISH AHAHAHAHAHAHA-’

‘I hate you.’

___

So. Yeah. Nothing really improved after that. Fish still avoided me like the plague. I caught him looking at me sometimes. I pretended not to notice. But on the inside…I missed him so much it physically hurt. I didn’t get why shit had to be so complicated. I wished everything would magically go back to the way it was.

Tanmay still hollered “JELLYFISH” at us sometimes. He liked to embarrass us that way. Maybe it was his way of trying to get us to laugh about dumb shit and talk again. I appreciate it, but it never worked.

Until the last day.

I will never understand why I chose that day of all days to confront him. What a crazy coincidence.

10th March, 2019.

Home time.

Kids were walking out of their classes, bags slung on their shoulders, happily going home. Like any other day after school ended.

Fish was walking out, too. I watched him. He resolutely turned the other way, his footsteps measured.

I couldn’t take his shit any more.

I grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around to face me.

He was still shorter. His eyes, wide and brown, didn’t sparkle with mischief the way they did when I first looked into them.

I yelled at him. I shouldn’t have. But I yelled into his face about how he was acting like a dick and how I just wanted to be friends again and how he was acting stupid and it felt like he didn’t care about me at all and that I trusted him and if the thought, the thought grossed him out so much, that he and I could be-

I ran out of air. I just looked at him wordlessly. I didn’t know who I was angry at.

He looked back. He didn’t have anything to say either.

His silence infuriated me more than anything he could have said. I was about to turn away-

when he caught me. He caught my arm. The way he used to.

I froze.

I couldn’t breathe.

The sound I heard next shattered the horrible silence…and my heart. (dramatic music intensifies)

Fish sobbed like the world was going to end.

He was clutching me tight, so tight it hurt. The front of my shirt was wet- with his tears. I felt dizzy. What the heck was going on? If anyone should be crying, it should be me-

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered into my shirt. ‘I’m so fucking sorry, Arya. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m sorry.’

I can still hear him say those words, clear as day.

The next thing I knew, we weren’t hugging anymore. The image of his tear-streaked face was plastered in my mind as I staggered out of school and walked home, the only depressed soul amidst a crowd of cheerful middle school kids.

That was the last time I ever saw him.

Because the next day, school announces shutdown due to a positive COVID-19 case on our street. And that shutdown was followed by a nationwide one.

Idiot messages me two days later saying he’s moving away to another country and he didn’t want to tell me because he was being an asshole and he felt miserable overall.

I wasn’t even sure I was angry anymore. I was so tired of being angry at him. I was…sad I was the last one to know. I was sad he was moving away. Sad that things seemed to end like this.

We never really talk about that. I don’t know if we’re pretending it never happened, or we’re just acknowledging that neither of us really knew what the heck we were doing. Stupid middle school shit. 

We talk now, and I don’t like him like that anymore. Out of sight, out of mind and all that I guess.

That doesn’t stop me from wondering What if? though.

[fancyfade]

What if Miss. Bertinelli taught Damian...?

IDK if this is like she doesn't know who she is and she sees him in her day job (or she does know who he is but also sees him at her day job and they're both civilians) or she teaches him stuff as Huntress when he's Robin :P

I think that in school Damian would probably have positive rapport with most of his teacher since he's diligent with his work and pays attention. I imagine if he did one of those over-the-top extra credit things (like we see him in a super sons comic do like.... multiple pages of extra credit essay for a single exam question) she would be like "please don't make me grade this ;_;"

She'd be teaching English Language Arts according to canon so she would be teaching something he doesn't already know* which means he hopefully would find her class not boring :P I think he might kind of remind her of James (her adopted son) as well.

if she knows he's Robin and they've interacted before she might be a little surprised that he seems more subdued in school (which he's like. still intense for a middle school student but :P he also doesn't seem to try to dominate the room he just answers questions when they're posed). he would probably also be very surprised to see her teacher voice if he knows she's huntress XD Because like you have to use a different set of social skills when interacting with high-schoolers (or middle schoolers) Most batfam members would probably be very surprised to see teacher-mode helena (except in my head she turned on teacher mode a little when she was interacting w/ Tim as Robin and Tim got spoiled by vigilante lessons that had good pedagogy before he had to go back to Bruce XD)

Since Damian is a lot less prone to let other people take the lead when he's Robin I imagine they would have a different rapport if she was trying to teach him something as Huntress when he's Robin. But I also imagine that especially when he just joins the Batfam he appreciates her general lack of judgment towards him (and they could potentially bond over being assumed to be more dangerous/ready to kill people than they actually are). Also obligatory plug to my fanfic one-shot I wrote where fresh-out-of-LoA-Damian interacts with Huntress during final crisis (link)

*Like obviously he has lots of the skills you develop in ELA classes but he presumably hasn't read every single book they're gonna read.

[asukaskerian]

Fifteen Questions for Fifteen Friends

Tagged by @edenfalling

are you named after anyone? nope, my name is all fresh and just for me. i mean, it's not unique or anything. alas alas, my middle brother's first name, while so mundane on its own that he always had 2 or more kids with the same name in his class growing up, combines with mine to make up the name of a well known french singer. NO we were not named after him. NOPE. you kids can stop snickering now.

little bro has a much cooler name. we are not jealous, for the record.

when was the last time you cried? yesterday. svsss-based angst is always immaculate and torturous.

do you have kids? no and i never will. don't want any AND i would be really bad at it. also tbh i'm 41 now so... yeah nah XD

what sports do you play/have played? parents tried to make me do volleyball as a kid but i kept hiding in the equipment room so they gave up. nowadays i go to the gym to torture myself on the machines but that's because my back will lock up forever if i don't entertain it. i have vague dreams of one day being a proper dwarf lady... hm.

do you use sarcasm? so much that i have to consciously stop myself. when i was in my twenties i got into the habit of being super cutting and mocking because it made me feel smarter and protected, but all it really did was make me mean.

what is the first thing you notice about people? whether their clothes cut and color flatter them. which is weird cause i don't give a shit what i'm wearing. i think it's all the observation on shapes and stuff i did in order to draw good, back when i still drew, plus a healthy heaping of "if i were fashionable enough to look like i belong people would not notice i don't". welp.

what's your eye colour? blue!

scary movies or happy endings? happy endings ;_; i don't like jumpscares either. nehhhhh.

any talents? writing, drawing. sense of observation and critical sense, i guess? kindness is not a talent so much as something to deliberately work on.

where were you born? lyon, france!

what are your hobbies? writing, reading fanfic by the metric fuckton. /boring :p

do you have any pets? not anymore. we used to have dogs and i had rabbits at one point but now we have wooden floors and my parents are too old and i'm too out of shape to run after a german shepherd and we don't like anything smaller XD;

how tall are you? ... officially 1m50 because i looked sad at the agent making my first national ID card but probably 48. ... which is. uh. 4 feet 10 inches? T^T

favourite subject in school? eh... literature? Honestly i barely listened in class, i spent all my time drawing.

dream job? i do not dream of jobs. rich heiress sounds cool and so does benevolent hermity benefactress. i do want to sell my books if i ever manage to finish one but i don't want it to be a job. it's already hard enough.

i tag... HMMMMMM.

@adiduck @fattyskeleton @loving-that-officey-feel @manyblinkinglights @rollerskatinglizard @codedredalert @elanorpam and whoever else wants to play.

[sparkles-oflight]

Writing Original Characters – a rant that might be useful

Hello, everyone. This is a post different than usual. If you don’t know me, first of all, “hi” and second, I should probably talk about my experience in story writing beforehand.

I’m currently a 19-year-old student in communications (I’m not a native English speaker as you might be able to tell), but I also used to be a multimedia student in high school. I started writing and adapting scripts when I was 12 as a fun hobby with my friends, but I also found interest in writing at a young age – though you can say that passion of mine always stayed “saved” in a drawer. I truly started writing scripts for school at 15/16 and I still do, as well as short fictional stories for my personal entertainment. This next university semester, I’m also planning on taking scriptwriting classes. At some point in my life, I also wanted to be a critic of cinematography in videoclips, series, games etc. but that was just another idea I set aside. Even though I keep my ideas to myself, I’m currently writing a fanfic related to a band (it’s a Slovenian band called Joker Out, I truly recommend their music).

Just like in “actual writing” – whatever that might mean to you – when you bring life to original characters, you want your audience to feel something towards them. I’ve recently finished writing chapter 7 of my fanfiction and while I adored writing these past two chapters, they kind of “destroyed” my perception of my favorite chapter until then (Chapter 4). I’ll not go into heavy detail for the sake of avoiding spoilers for the two people who are reading it (I’m not joking, I’m this passioned about something that a maximum of 2 people are reading), but I got myself rooting for the “we didn’t work out” couple instead of the main ones.

I couldn’t wrap my head around it, after all, my original character had a personality, a background, and character flaws that are crucial to any character in any media format (and trust me, I’ve been in a rabbit hole of character and movie writing analysis videos lately) - it’s the way your audience gets to connect with your character.

However, I made a huge mistake. You see, even though I try to write in the POVs of the characters, I decided to break the “archetype” of “Oh, cutsie new character is in love with x and y person and they have to choose who they like. Here ya go: a list of all things they have done in their life”. In my story, I decided that the character already pre-existed and had already interactions with the characters pre-story. And it’s not until chapter 4 where we first get their POV which also doesn’t explain much about the character… So, by the time we get to chapter 6 – which, again, I’ll not dive into– we still know nothing about this character and. We know their name, their age, their love for their country and their job, and that they are a little bit emotional and apologetic.

As I wrote more, I’ve come to realize that the only chance I’ll get “to fix” my character for it to still be likable is by getting more info out of them or else the story will just get boring and annoying. I thought I hated the character because I made the mistake of making it so similar to me. In reality, the character just lacks information. It’s good to hold back some information from the reader, but not too much. I know all their traumas, I know all my character went through and I know why their flaws make them great, but the reader doesn’t.

Honestly, the conclusion to this personal rant of mine is: Don’t be afraid to give information to your audience. People need something to relate to and especially in this day and age where the spam of our concentration was somehow reduced to less than a fucking goldfish. More than just telling compelling or realistic stories, have characters whose stories people want to dive into and learn more about, and share them in an interesting way.

If you’ve made it so far down here, hi again. Thank you for reading this. And feel free to share your thoughts and comments and other writing tips you might consider important. I want this space to feel safe for young writers and open for debate any time ;) I might be a little chaotic most days, but hey, deep down I have some nice thoughts as well… And don’t be like me: a little bitch who never follows their dreams ^^’ cya soon.

[sweetmilkbread]

Thanks for the tag @kulliare!

1. Were you named after anyone?

Nope! Not that I can think of. Though my url is named for the delicious bread I had all the time as a kid!

2. When was the last time you cried?

The exact date was May 30th lol. I remember it because me and my friends got together to watch the succession finale and when it got to the ending, (especially the music! Andante Risoluto gives me chills!) I teared up.

3. Do you have kids?

I don't! The idea of being a parent was never really my thing. But I'd always love to be a parent to some pets!

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes. When I'm around people I know, at least. Otherwise, I try not to use it.

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Oh, this question is wasted on me lmao. I was the least sporty kid to exist, hated my phys ed classes and always made my team lose for everything. I have terrible balance and co-ordination skills so most sports are just not for me, but deep down I've always wanted to try out martial arts of some kind!

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone?

Hm...I'm a pretty self-conscious and socially anxious person, so I'd probably be busy panicking over what the other person thinks of me tbh 😭. Though something else I do notice is eye colour! Every kind of eye colour is so pretty!

7. Eye colour?

Brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Ohoho I love a scary movie! Give me a scary movie any day! I have such a fondness for horror movies and books. I finally watched The Lighthouse (2019) today and I loved it!

9. Any special talents?

At one point, years ago, I knew the whole Gary Come Home song from Spongebob. But in German.

10. Where were you born?

A hospital.

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading and writing are my immediate go-to's! They are both things that I've found solace in from a young age and I love doing them so much. I've been reading some really wonderful work lately (I'm a big Carmen Maria Machado fan) and it's pretty neat. Apart from that my hobbies are probably boring lol. I also love watching movies and TV shows, listening to music, cross-stitching and making mini zines.

12. Do you have any pets?

2 dogs! Both of whom I love with my whole heart!

13. How tall are you?

5'3....on a good day

14. Favourite subject in school?

English! (Yes, I'm predictable). But I also really loved my music classes. Even if I can't listen to Mozart without picturing all my study notes in my head.

15. Dream job?

This is a tough one. Maybe this is a cop-out, but ideally something that just pays the bills and lets me make enough to live happily. My absolute dream job though would be becoming a published author of some sort? Though it's way out of my league and probably doesn't pay extremely well unless you're lucky lol 😭 I can barely stick to a posting schedule for my fanfic, nevermind writing a whole book!

I haven't been on tumblr long (embarassing) so I don't know lots of mutuals, but I'm tagging @citrusgothic, @surfledblues and @iamcalmiamthestorm, if you want to join in the ask game (no pressure tho!) x

[vsnotresponding]

getting to know you tag game

thank you @sunset-a-story for the tag! tagging @my-cursed-prince @e-klair and @oh-no-another-idea

Rules: use this picrew to make yourself and answer the questions.

three fun facts about me:

i have more clothespins on me at all times than you'd ever guess (honestly, just try)

i collect metal things i find on the ground like cogs or nuts or springs

the summaries i used to make for my history classes back in high school were done in red ink for no other reason that i had those 4 color in one pens and wanted to finish all the ink

favorite season: not summer. it's hell in here. (if i had to choose probably late winter because my favorite flowers are in bloom)

continent where i live: europe

how i spend my time: in class or in the library (curse you math degree), reading (mostly rereading the same 10 pride and prejudice fanfics) or listening to music in my commute (actually, i'm listening to music all the time except when i'm in class or asleep). while in the library i always end up working on translating púlsar (totally not procrastinating my school work). i also chill with my cats a lot

are you published? technically yes? i won a writing competition in my town and all the winners got their short story published in a little booklet. i also printed legit copies of Púlsar when I first wrote it for friends and family and some teachers from my high school

introvert/extrovert: introvert to an extreme.

favorite meal: i don't think i have one. as long as it's not boring and it's tasty i'm good

[bugeyedfreaks]

Previous anon about ppgxrrb post (the first one lol)

I agree with a lot of what you say about the shipping of ppgxrrb and how the fans just depict them as ultra hot bad boys. Its a breath of fresh air to see others’ perspectives on this, cause as I said before I admit I am a fan sometimes but even seeing a lot of ooc works puts me off. I understand if older fans/people only like it because of nostalgia (I’m one of those) but I’m more baffled with seeing new/younger that also likes to ship them, I can see them just liking the Boys cause they think gender bent/evil/alternate versions of the main protagonist are just fun in general, but I don’t understand why a lot of new fans that also ships them, maybe its because of fanart/fanfic.

In regard of that fic (assuming we’re talking about the same thing) I think the reason why it was praised so much and put on high pedestal was because the standard of the ppgxrrb fics were pretty low (at the time anyway) and for me personally it does felt I’m watching the original when I read it, (aside from the shipping thing, but I only read it for the character writing mostly) imo probably the closest thing I can get to what an older/teenage ppg would sound/read like, it just had shipping… lol but also yea I agree with you about the other villains not getting enough fanfics for themselves, its unfortunate cause ppg has so many great villains and the fandom just chose the least interesting ones (rrb)

Also I love how you described Boomer, he’d definitely be a whiteknight type then probably go “bubblevicious” when he doesn’t get what he wants, in fics he’s usually the first, quickest and easiest to be redeemed which is just very boring and probably the reason why Blues (BubblesxBoomer) is the least favorite of the 3 ships.

Yeah, I think on the most basic, superficial level, taking NOTHING about the personality or history of the characters into account, if you were to show someone who never saw the show a lineup of the Powerpuff GIrls characters and ask them, "Who are the girls' boyfriends?" they would choose the Rowdyruff Boys. Just because of their character designs they're the easiest characters to pair them off with. And I don't use "superficial" or "easy" as an insult, like... it just is what it is by the very nature of it. On a little less of a basic level, they're probably the only boys in the show (including the boys that are in the girls' class like Mitch and Elmer and Harry, etc.) that would be considered "attractive" enough to match up with them. Which, y'know, I could go into a whole rant about the superficiality (negative this time, haha) of that and how that way of thinking feels very creatively limiting... but, yeah, when you're a new fan and you see all this fic/fanart, not to mention how the ship is ultra visible and popular, it's the simplest entry point.

We're totally talking about the same fic. 😂 Again, I've really tried to read it and have an open mind about it, and I guess the mere fact that (from what I remember) the girls occasionally do have fights in it is enough to make it different from a standard PPG/RRB fic where the girls' superpowers are completely forgotten about (a la the City of Clipsville girls)... but the villains and the crimefighting STILL just feel like an afterthought (and maybe it's just my pretentiously high standards for them talking, but I remember really disliking how the dialogue of some of the few villains that are even included in the story was written). For the most part it just seems like it's all just fancy set dressing to disguise your average high school teen fanfic. I remember trying to read it again a while ago and I got to an early point where like some characters were suddenly like making out and I was just like... ew, no, not for me. 😩 That doesn't make me feel like I'm watching the show, that just makes me sick to my stomach! Stuff like that just pulled me way out, I couldn't enjoy it.

And I guess that's also a thing I dislike about some of the fanfics, like... if the RRB are going to have any similarities to the girls it's going to be their negative attributes, but that doesn't seem like an issue that ever gets explored. It seems like, despite whether or not people write them as still having problematic misogynist qualities, Brick always just turns out to be the hot intelligent one, Butch is the tough dude bro, and Boomer is the sweet, sensitive boi. How boring IS that?! 🤣 It doesn't seem like anyone's really challenged themselves to see things from any different, meaningful perspectives, and I have always felt that way. It is a bummer though that, when I have found the rare fanfic that has great writing and feels like the show characters and tells a story that's interesting and new (or even has a ship for the girls that's completely off the wall but... somehow actually works!)... it's because I had to dig through all the PPG/RRB content to find it. And I've seen many people who've written cool stuff get frustrated enough about that difficulty of visibility that that they take down their fics, or they get discouraged from writing anything else, or they even get harassed for daring to write anything against the norm. It bums me out.