#I also think that living for centuries would make anyone a little crazy

[victor-veloci-simp-69]

AU where Victor Veloci was not an OG!Dino but a mutant dino.

Imagine an AU where the only survivor is Ms Moynihan.

Desperately lonely, and with science advancing day by day, she gets the idea to try to make a companion.

(Be warned, this does get a little dark. Implied kidnapping and human experimentation. Nothing explicit, but yeah. Be safe. Not fanfic, just thoughts.)

There's a lot of directions this could have gone in.

Maybe she tries to make a clone baby with her DNA and someone elses.

Maybe she kidnaps some guy/teenager/kid off the street and gives him some dino-juice.

Maybe she even knows Victor. A neighbor, a friend, a fellow scientist or co-worker. Maybe he was a flirty barista at one point.

(How many people would she go through before she got a successful Victor Veloci? Was he a first time success or are there dozens of failed experiments who didn't survive? At what number would she give up? To what lengths would one go to, to no longer be lonely? Where is the line in the sand?)

No matter who he was before, or how many there was before, Victor Veloci is born.

He's not perfect. He's a dinosaur but he looks nothing like Ms Moynihan:

He's bigger, lacking the feathers that shine so beautiful on her, and scaled like a reptile. He looks as a human would expect a dinosaur to look like.

Maybe Moynihan gives up. Maybe she's tried so long and the results have never been what she wanted. Maybe her conscious catches up to her. Maybe she realises Victor is the closest she will ever get.

(Maybe she continues, thinking that Victor is the closest she has ever gotten, and victory is around the corner. Maybe he grows resentful at being considered not enough; a failure; an unloved, cheap imitation that will be discarded at first oppertunity)

She does not abandon him. He is her constant companion. She teaches him, of sciences and history and culture and the constantly shifting world.

(Does he remember his old life? Was he always Victor or was he someone else?)

Maybe he grows restless at being Imperfect. Maybe he grows frustrated at Ms Moynihan being content to it just being the two of them.

But eventually, he leaves. He takes on the surname Veloci. He convinces people to his cause.

Does he do it to find the formula to make himself perfect? No longer second best, no longer wrong?

Does he do it to make himself less lonely, less unique in a world where he is the only one, no one, not even his creator understanding what he is, what it is like.

Better yet, does he tell people he is an ancient Velociraptor because its easier to explain, because his past is painful and he'd rather be something he is not.

Or does he tell people that because he has deluded himself into thinking he is.

[artigas]

I’m really happy that Black Sails is experiencing a bit of a renaissance, but (predictably) some of the takes I’m seeing online are so busted. It’s wild to me that anyone would complain about the fact that Anne Bonny kisses Jack after she’s developed this life-changing relationship with Max. It’s absolutely wild to see anyone roll their eyes or feel uncomfortable about the fact that Flint has sex with Miranda when he returns to her in season one or that Max is most likely a lesbian but actively has sex with men for pay and knows how to make that pleasurable. It’s crazy to me that some of the very audiences who claim to want queer representation feel so discomforted when they actually see the mess and seeming inconsistencies of queerness that they asked for.

The reality is that there are lesbians who have had (and will have!) meaningful, mutually-gratifying, and deeply sexual relationships with men. There are gay men who’ve enjoyed having sex with women, who are gay as the day is long and nevertheless feel sexually attracted to a woman or two and are nevertheless gay men, full stop. There are gay cis men who are happily married to trans women. There are femme dom tops and butch bottoms and there are mascs afab people who like femme boys. There are non-binary people and trans men who actively identify as lesbians. There are ace and aro people who enjoy thinking about and engaging with sex — sometimes in fiction and sometimes in real life. Queerness, in fiction and in reality, defies neat categorization. That is the beauty, power, and (perceived) unorthodoxy of queerness.

Now, I’ll say this — do I think the straight men behind Black Sails were actively thinking deeply and insightfully about the paradoxes and fuckery of queer identity when they wrote Black Sails? No! By their own admission, Steinberg and Levine have owned up to the fact that some of the writing of the show was really hinged on their own blind spots as people who are not (to my knowledge) members of the queer community. If I want to be generous, I think that the beautiful mess of Black Sails is that, in not feeling like experts enough to designate specific identity labels to any of their characters, the writers stumbled their way into more authentic representation of lived queer experience, which is to say that the notion that James Flint was actively thinking of himself as a gay man was anachronistic. As many lesbian archivists and theories have noted, the notion of a queer identity — as in, queerness is who you are, not what you do — was patently unthinkable for most cultures in the past. In other words, the idea that Anne Bonny operates in the eighteenth century as a lesbian and thus would not willingly engage in relationships with men is not only untrue of the series, but untrue of most recorded lesbian experiences in the real world. The notion that a lesbian would operate her entire life without engaging sexually or romantically with men, for instance, is a very new privilege that some of us are very lucky to enjoy, but it is not true for the vast majority of human history — hell, it’s not even true of our present world.

This is all to say that think that there’s something really funny about how we want queer characters to fit into neatly organized boxes. This isn’t a new problem, either. When the show was still airing, the BS fandom would get itself into tizzies about wether or not Flint is gay or bisexual, wether or not Anne Bonny is a lesbian, wether or not Silver is queer when his only canonical relationship is with Madi, etc etc. We’ve been having these discourses for years and I don’t know. I get that much of it is fueled by how badly some people want to see themselves represented in media, but . . . well. The siloing of queer characters and queer narratives into neat little boxes has never felt very authentic to me and nine times out of ten, it’s also just so damn boring.

[fairdale]

to william herondale, with love

you have two options when it comes about will.

you can choose to stay in the surface, to think of him as a sassy, sarcastic, superficial and selfish man who doesn't give a shit about anything nor anyone except for jem, who makes insensitive jokes and doesn't care if he hurts people.

or you can choose to know him. the little parts of him that make him wonderful, sweet, delicate and caring. and, oh, how much love will fill your heart when you realise how much he deserves to be loved.

and how much he craves it.

will is sarcastic, yes. he's funny, he pulls off jokes like it's nothing, he makes people laugh, he sings the demon pox song and makes everyone think he's a little crazy.

but he's also the kid who left his family too young because he thought he was cursed and he loved them too much.

he's also the kid who thought no one could ever love him anymore.

he's also the kid who felt terribly lonely after leaving his family.

he's also the kid who wanted jem to be his parabatai so badly he didn't care he was sick and that he would leave him too soon.

he's also the kid who didn't want people too close to him because he loved them and didn't want anything bad to happen to them. jem was different. it wasn't just because he was sick, it's because he was jem. because jem saw who he truly was when no one else did. his heart beat because jem's did as well.

he's also the man who loved to read. the man whose name will still be dancing in the walls of the library centuries later. the man who found a safe place between books.

he's also the man who was so in love with tessa he tried to break the curse after years of living like that, because his love was so pure, so deep, so real, he had to do something.

he's also the man who put his hands into the fire to save jem's yin fen, because he couldn't imagine a life without him. because he didn't want a life without him.

he's also the man who was desperately in love with tessa, but made himself scarce because he couldn't put his own happiness over tessa and jem's. because he saw how good they were to each other.

he's also the man who held jessamine in his arms when she died too young.

he's also the man who let jem go when he told him he didn't want to live like that anymore even though it would forever break him and he would take a part of his soul with him.

he's also the man who went to save tessa even when he felt his heart getting carved out of his chest when jem died.

he's also the man who learned how to have his sister next to him again, the man who went back to his parents even if he were terrified.

he's also the man who made sure tessa never doubted for a second that he was devoted to her.

he's also the man who travelled the world with her and wrote her letters to show his love.

he's also the man who made sure to love his children loudly, to tell them he was proud of them and that they weren't monsters.

he's also the man who fought against injustices in the clave.

he was also the man who died surrounded by his loved ones (because he was, in fact, so loved).

he was also the man watching jem and tessa's wedding dream since the other side of the river, being happy for them.

will was the man with a heart so big he didn't know what to do with all the love he held in it.

when someone asks me, but why do you love him so much? well, how can you not? how, when he tried to love so quietly but he was screaming, when he was trying not to care but he cared more than anyone.

will herondale was, is and forever will be the character i hold closest to my heart, the character who made me laugh, cry and love the most.

"he lies consistently. he always invents the story that will make him look the worst."

"but it was there, in the touch of his hand on her cheek, in the softness of his voice, in his eyes when he looked at her. it was the way she had always dreamed a boy would look at her. but she never dreamed up someone as beautiful as will, not in all her imaginings."

"all my life, since i came to the institute, you were the mirror of my soul. i saw the good in me in you. in your eyes alone i found grace. when you are gone from me, who will see me like that?"

"against his own will, almost, will felt himself understanding; he would have done anything, he thought, told any lie, taken any risk, to make tessa love him. he would have done— almost anything. he would not betray jem for it. that was the one thing he would not do."

"don’t you see, will? you’re a person like me. you are like me. you say the things i think but never say out loud. you read the books i read. you love the poetry i love. you make me laugh with your ridiculous songs and the way you see the truth of everything. "

"when she tilted her head up and brushed his lips with hers, he cupped her face in his hands. so many years, he thought, and each kiss was new as the break of day."

"wo men shi sheng si ji jiao," said will, and he saw jem’s eyes widen, fractionally, and the spark of amusement inside them. "go in peace, james carstairs."

"and in the shadows they’d whispered, reminding each other of the stories only they knew. of the girl who had hit over the head with a water jug the boy who had come to rescue her, and how he had fallen in love with her in that instant."

"she remembered when will had died, her agony, the long nights alone, reaching across the bed every morning when she woke up, for years expecting to find him there, and only slowly growing accustomed to the fact that side of the bed would always be empty."

"i don’t know how to live in the world as a shadowhunter without will. i don’t think I even want to. i am still a parabatai, but my other half is gone. if I were to go to some Institute and ask them to take me in, i would never forget that. i would never feel whole."

"i miss you. we miss you. someday, we'll all be together. not too soon, my angel tessa. i can wait."

...

"my name is herondale," the boy said cheerfully. "william herondale, but everyone calls me will."

[naivety]

sorry i'm still thinking about "are you asking or making me?" i do think like. obviously louis resents armand a little bit for saying no but i also think he resents him for NOT saying no. for instead saying are you asking or making me, a Complete opposite of the last time he asked a vampire more powerful than him to turn someone for him. but while with lestat, louis was the one begging, here armand absolutely puts him on his back foot with a single sentence in which he surrenders the power louis is asking him to wield to LOUIS. permission not to beg, a power that's also a reminder that that power is completely artificial. yet it's still there! we see in san fransisco when armand asks questions like this he will absolutely do what louis Tells him to. but it's something that's entirely dependent on armand. he can only concede that power because he has it to begin with, and when he asks are you asking or telling, it puts louis in a position of power in which he can also abuse that power, which. i do think he'd like to think of himself as someone who never would, not after lestat, while lestat in contrast was asked directly by louis to turn claudia, was begged to, and he absolutely did Not have to say yes. but he did, just because louis asked.

armand's single question tempts to paint louis in this light he'd despise at the same time as making armand exempt to actually answer yes or no. it makes louis seem like a bully for asking at all when armand concedes the power of his own free will to him. of course he can't make him! he wouldn't! but that's not what he was doing! he was Asking armand. to do this thing for him. because, well. love <3 and armand refuses to answer! instead he warps the function of a question at all into something he doesn't have to answer! to actually engage with as a person with free will and responsibility for that free will! i think he'd much rather be told what to do because then he can't be held responsible for it. life feels a whole lot safer to live when he doesn't have to grapple with his own innocence or guilt in his 500 years of living a life full of crossroads and judgement calls and decisions. every decision he has or hasn't made in 5 centuries. like even in this last episode, he's admitting his guilt to daniel in the same breath as saying he couldn't stop it, there wasn't anything he could do, but also louis forgives him! like just because he doesn't want power or responsibility he thinks it means.... he doesn't have it? just because he's willing to verbally and even actionably cede his power to someone else, it means he isn't culpable. even though he can only cede it Because he has it in the first place, arguably more than anyone else in the situation.

the mental gymnastics he will go through to maintain his innocence in a given situation is crazyyy like talk about victim complex personified. but i also think it's one of the few genuine things about him. he actually looks relieved when louis' answer to his question is that it's okay. i won't make you. the last time his free will was truly stripped of him was so so long ago but his victimhood is also frozen in time forever. that wound of a more genuine powerlessness was never healed, not in 500 years, and it's easier to just stay in the open, festering shape of it than try to heal and grow around it into something new, even though it already has whether he liked or not, also without his say. i don't think he knows how to exist in that shape because he never chose it himself.

it is just delicious to me. loumand power dynamics are crazy but they can be so much crazier when contrasted directly with loustat. with loustat, lestat is clearly the one with the power in the dynamic but he also more often genuinely gives in to louis just because. just out of love. he does abuse that power too just like armand, but with loumand, armand more often directly puts the power of their dynamic into louis' hands, but it's only By backing him into a corner with questions like this. are you asking or making me. i won't say no to you. you can either make me or keep your mouth shut. and, well. more often than not he just doesn't ask at all. better to remain silent than to put himself in a position in which he'd have to beg ever again.

[explainslowly]

Semi-random manga rec based on looking at what I rated 10/9/8 on myanimelist like a decade ago

For your benefit I am going to eschew the stuff I see discussed on tumblr all the time. Like by this point no one needs me to tell them that like, Junji Ito is good, right? Right.

The water is just fine:

Hikaru no Go - now this one used to be pretty big in fandom spaces but it was like fifteen years ago so I don't feel bad bringing it up. It's a sports shonen about a boy falling in love with Go and growing up through finding his passion in it. A classic bildungsroman type of shonen narrative but executed with finesse. Also illustrated by the same guy who drew Death Note if that sweetens the pot.

Kekkaishi - do you guys like a fun little shonen about creatures and youth with magic powers and shit? This one is simply a pleasure to read as well as well paced. I especially appreciate a somewhat strict magical/power system. Maybe it's nothing insanely special but I do feel it has been somewhat overlooked so I put it on this list.

Hourou Musuko - this one got an anime fairly recently (*checks notes* uhhh. In 2011. Nvm, kill me) so people might know it. But hey, you guys want a sweet little manga story about a teen trans girl and her gaggle of friends? Of course you do. This managaka generally writes a lot of stories about queer ppl, so feel free to check out all her work.

Ashita no Ousama - bildungsroman, but for the girlssss. It's a story about a young girl moving to the city and falling in love with theater and writing. I am simply a sucker for stories about people finding their passion and working at it.

Getting deeper:

Blame! - again, a recommendation that would sound sooooo silly like twenty years ago but Tsutomu Nihei is simply not in the public eye the way he used to be. The pleasure of this manga is to a large extent visual. But you guys do want to see a trek through a crazy technological landscape, don't you?

Bokurano - Mangaka is a known sicko and this fucked up little story about feeding children to the war machine is a good entry point. What if Evangelion was even more evil? Now you can find out.

Monster - the Naoki Urasawa story that really put him on the map. I think people say that 20th century boys is superior but why not start at the source? Psychological/mystery story especially suited for people who can set aside their reservation when the psychology gets a little dubious with it (if that's a line you don't cross, do go on and check out 20th century boys instead)

Now we are getting somewhere:

Shigurui - Anyone here looking for an awe-inspiring visual orgy of violence? Anyone?

Dainippon Tengutou Ekotoba - I am outrigh obsessed with this mangaka's visual style. The thick, bold brush lines make me craaaazy. This is as good as any entry into their work, I think - a urban fantasy story about Tengus living in the modern world.

National quiz - looking for a zany distopian sci-fi with great visuals? Look no more!! I don't remember the details of what happens in this one but I remember it being strange and interesting, so do check it out.

Soil - what if Twin Peaks was a manga? Well, it's not one to one, but this too is a story about a small town and fucked up bizarre shit happening in it. Also incredible art, in my opinion.

Shintaro Kago - making an exception here and mentioning a guy instead of a specific work. The thing about Kago is that he shines in writing bizarre short stories, so ultimately you really could start anywhere with him.

[b-skarsgard]

That Bill Skarsgård, 34, has a special attraction to the dark should be indisputable, but what is it about him that the characters attach to?

- Maybe it's a bit like falling in love with someone, says the actor himself.

read the rest at the link or under the cut. (translated from swedish to english by browser)

In reality, Bill doesn't look the least bit diabolical. The hair is well styled in a wavy James Dean bangs and is matched for the day by a knitted white polo shirt with a luxurious glossy sheen. Overall, he rather exudes a mystique, a bit like a movie star from Hollywood's golden era.

Nevertheless, he has repeated in many international interviews that it is something in him that these characters are drawn to:

- The clearest way for me to formulate it is that I attract them, and they attract me.

- It is a special process to be chosen for a role at all. You have to be inspired, but also be right for the role. So you attract each other, says Bill, but adds:

- After all, I have done an incredible number of different types of characters in over thirty films. But since the biggest projects are in a certain direction, like "It", you become associated with it.

In "Nosferatu" you are unrecognizable. Do you like to completely dissolve into a character?

- In some way, that is always the ambition. I like to find a voice, a physical expression. Making "Clark" wasn't me in any way either, even though he looks more like me.

- The challenge is that it is me who expresses the character, while none of Bill must be there. Nothing of a 32-year-old guy from Södermalm can be found in a 400-year-old Transylvanian count.

You usually succeed. My son has a fear of clowns because of you. On the other hand, it has saved me many visits to Gröna Lund...

- Haha. Is it that bad? Clown phobia? But I apologize. One of my childhood friends got it from the previous "It".

- I don't think I've told anyone this, but when he married my cousin, who is like a sister to me, we organized a kidnapping attempt for the stag party where all his best friends were dressed up as clowns. It was the thing he was most afraid of in the whole world. Someone thought it was too shitty, and that he would break down. But it went well. Then I forced him to attend the premiere of "It", and now he is not afraid of clowns anymore.

Does exposure therapy work?

- Yes, that's a tip. Haha.

But "Nosferatu". Of course you were in the running as Hutter, but then the role went to Nicholas Hoult?

- I actually got it. Several years ago. Then the "Nosferatu" fell apart.

How did you react to the news that the role was no longer yours?

- I was broken.

- I would actually have been in Robert Egger's "The Northman" in the role of Gustav Lindh, Bill continues and then describes how pandemic-related circumstances led to a schedule conflict where he prioritized "Clark" and said no to Eggers.

- "Clark", which I helped develop and produce, felt to me personally as a bigger challenge.

- So I explained that I was sorry, but that it was like this. But I didn't know if he was offended.

- Then "Nosferatu" was on again, and he cast Nick and then Aaron (Taylor Johnson) as Harding. So then I wrote an honest and pretentious letter to Eggers with the title "Wisborg in flames".

It pays to be desperate?

- Yes, if the desperation is motivated by something that is true. I meant every word I wrote in that letter, and I think he felt it.

I interviewed your brother Alexander after "Northman". He described it as isolated. How was your Eggers trip?

- It was up and down. I was also very isolated. Self-isolating.

- I lived in a hotel suite in an 18th-century building where Mozart had lived, and you feel that he is sitting in the walls. I walked around this attic and went a little crazy.

- But there was a madness in Orlok that was worth facing. I've talked a lot about my technical methods, but it was also a psychological journey.

The relief after the recording

How has it been to leave Orlok?

- An enormous relief. You don't always feel that way, but the last day of filming was a really tough fucking day. Not performance-wise, but because it was twelve hours in that outfit, and the soles of my feet were the only thing on me that wasn't covered. It means that the body cannot breathe.

- I was close to fainting and had heat stroke. My heart just skipped a beat, and I started thinking about that gold-covered woman in "Goldfinger"…

Who would have been suffocated by the paint?

- Yes, that's not true. But I thought about it. So when I was done, I was so grateful to be free of this evil entity.

What's next for you?

- I'll be home for a couple of days, and then I'll go to Los Angeles and New York for the premieres there, and then home to celebrate Christmas.

The Skarsgård Christmas is supposed to be something really special?

- This year it is split. Everyone is married and has a partner, so you have to take it in turns, and this year it's just been that everyone is with their respective ones. But last year we ran Skarsgård Christmas, and now we will all see each other in the days in between, so then it will be Skarsgård Christmas!

[varlaisvea]

WIP Wednesday!

lol no one tagged me; I have 18 followers and I write mostly ESO fic. Clearly, I post for me. 😂

This won't make it into the final draft, but I like it anyway. This adorable ESO quest features a Nord whose wife is a High Elf—the only High Elf I can think of in ESO who married someone decidedly Apraxic. So I decided to have my also Very Apraxic OCs meet Viggol and Telline.

1.5k words, G-rated, discussion of racism

Two non-Altmer discuss what it’s like to be married to someone who has to keep you a secret—and who will live more than a century after you’re gone.

------

Viggol looked back to where our Elves were talking. “That’s my wife,” he said proudly. “Drives Telline crazy when I tell people that. She thinks these stick-arsed Elves are going to run us out of town, but I have yet to find one who actually believes me when I claim that beautiful Elf debased herself by marrying an idiot Nord.”

“In plain sight is this one’s favorite place to hide,” I said.

He grinned. “See! You understand—that is the upside of living somewhere where all your neighbors consider you to be a genetically inferior halfwit, no? It would be absurd to imagine that Telline’s dutiful house-servant is actually her beloved husband. That’d be like suspecting your neighbor is secretly married to their horse.” He paused. “Though, I suppose I did wonder about a few of my neighbors back in Dawnstar…”

“Ha, this one has spent several long, cold, dark winters in Winterhold…” We exchanged a knowing glance. “But we are only visiting Summerset. Thank Jone and Jode, we do not live here—no insult to you.”

“None taken,” he said. “Telline grew up here, but we’ve only lived in Lillandril together for a few years. Just us and Pickle.” He gestured to the elderly dog at Telline’s feet. “It’s almost insulting; our neighbors don’t even seem to suspect a dirty Apraxic affair, even though everyone has dirty Apraxic affairs on this damned island. But Telline says I am far too handsome for that to protect me for long.” He nodded to himself, acknowledging the truth of his wife’s concern, then turned to me and scanned me from ears to tail. “You can relate, of course.”

“Just so,” I said, nodding to join him in somberly considering this problem. “As an up-jumped animal, this one is even more genetically inferior than a Man—most Elves probably imagine Eymei and I are colleagues, if they think anything at all. But, this one is strikingly handsome enough that occasionally an Altmer casts a glance, as if they suspect Eymei has a wicked little fetish for sugar-tongued liars.” I met his eyes, and the look on his face suggested he already knew what I was going to say next. “It is not as sexy as it sounds.”

We both chuckled and watched seabirds soar over the waves. Pickle was attempting to chase a gull, but quickly decided his obviously-achy hips could not sustain the effort, and came over to lay in the warm sand next to us.

“It’d be a great story, if I could tell it to anyone,” Viggol said, after a long silence. “For two or three years, I jokingly bothered Telline about marrying me at least weekly, until I started to feel like the joking had a bit too much feeling behind it; like I was pressuring her. I knew she couldn’t marry me. I just wanted to be with her. But, two or three months after I stopped pestering her about marriage, we got drunk and she asked me! It’s illegal, not to mention dangerous and socially repulsive, here in Summerset, but we weren’t in Summerset—I hauled her right then and there to the nearest Mara shrine. Of course I wouldn’t actually marry her until we were both sober, but we sat right next to the shrine for several hours until we were both of sound mind. And she didn’t back out!” It was very sweet, how moons-eyed he looked as he recounted this.

“Ah, when an Elf is willing to do something moderately spontaneous for you, this is true love, yes? What convinced her?”

He laughed. “She said—” he did his best impression of his wife “—‘I have never done anything stupid enough to risk regretting. I suspect you’d say risking regret is the only way to do something that thrills you.’” He looked over to where she was standing, with unabashed adoration on his face. His eyes were dewy when he turned back to me. “That was what she said. Why she was willing to marry someone who would die before she was middle-aged. She said she wouldn’t stay married to me unless she was right about it being thrilling. That was almost fifty years ago, and she’s still here, even though I don’t have more than ten or fifteen years left.” He wiped a tear and laughed self-consciously. “Sorry. I don’t usually get to tell people how wonderful she is.”

I just smiled. “This one can sympathize; please, do not apologize! You have found just the right audience. Fifty years is a long time to keep such things hidden.”

“Heh, if you’re asking for advice, friend, I don’t know that I can be helpful. Before this, we lived in Solitude for a couple of years—no one gave a skeever’s arse about our relationship there, though we still had to be discreet in public, and careful around Altmer. We did live in a cave for a few years; that helped.”

“An Elf willing to live in a cave for you! That is love, walker!”

“Don’t I know it! She was actually the one who originally suggested Blackreach. My adventuring days are over, but I found Blackreach to be more neighborly than Lillandril, if that tells you anything. But after fifty years of adventuring alongside her crazy Nord husband, at very least, Telline deserves a few years of uneventful, easy living.” He smiled and shook his head. “I was younger than you are now when I met Telline, and she was a bit older than your… wife?”

Somehow it felt fitting that this strange Nord would be the first to hear the news. “Yes. As of yesterday,” I said, with an unexpected choke in my throat. “Married in Eymei's ancestral tradition. There will be no Rings of Mara for us, but that is unimportant—two days ago, we both truly believed we'd never consider marriage. To each other, or at all.”

“Ha! An Elf willing to do something very spontaneous for you,” he said. “Congratulations! That sounds like quite a story!” We both laughed, and he hugged me with boisterous Nord enthusiasm. I was surprised at how much I appreciated it. “If you’re ever back in Lillandril, I’ll buy you a pint of ale so I can hear it. Or… whatever sickly-sweet thing you probably like to drink.”

I glanced back over to Eymei and Telline. They were both staring stone-faced at the waves as they talked.

Viggol said, “can’t imagine their conversation is as fun as ours. Not that most Altmer particularly enjoy fun, far as I can tell.”

I laughed sadly. “Congratulations on the sand slipping through your fingers!”

Viggol laughed too. “Since I was a little mer, I dreamed of being young and sexually frustrated while my spouse grew withered and elderly.”

“It is unjust that we must hide our relationship from Praxis-obsessed Altmer, but at least I get to spend decades waiting for my beating heart to be torn from my chest with well over half of my life still ahead of me.”

“Yes, I am so looking forward to the isolation and despair of grieving my life’s love, whom most of my kin consider a lesser being.”

Now Viggol and I were also staring stone-faced at the waves.

After a long silence, he said, “you’ll lose your mind if you don’t give voice to thoughts like that sometimes. I’m glad we could help each other—I don’t get to meet a lot of people I can talk to about my marriage. But friend, if there is one piece of advice I can give you… that Elf married you with full knowledge that that would be her future. I don’t even have to know your wife to know she has already stared all of that in the face. Am I right?”

I nodded.

“It weighs on me every day,” Viggol said. “It’s going to weigh on you, too, and believe me, it’ll only get worse as you get older and she stays young, capable, and beautiful. Part of the reason I was a bit in denial about the end of my adventuring days.” His voice came out strained as he continued. “It took me almost losing Telline to get it through my skull: I could either get crushed under the weight of what she’s willing to face for me, or I could be worth it.”

I looked down at my hands. “It is hard for me to imagine anyone being worth that.”

“Me too, friend. It’s impossible for me to say whether I’d make the same choice, in her place. But… doesn’t matter what I’d do. Fact is, I’ve got that Elf fooled well enough that she keeps making that choice every day—I’ve gotten to live my life knowing for damned sure that the wisest, kindest person I know thinks I’m worth it. So, I decided that until the day I die, I will do my best to be the person Telline thinks I am. I don’t always live up to it, but the effort has made me better in more ways than I can count.” He waited until I met his eyes. “Don’t do what I did. Don't waste your time worrying that you’re not worth it. Be worth it.”

I looked over at the Elves. They were sitting on the sand now; Pickle had wandered back over to them, and was laying next to Eymei. I think Eymei might have been quietly casting a lay-on-hands on his hips, as Telline talked.

I sighed. “The person Eymei thinks I am is… quite a cat.”

Viggol smacked me on the shoulder good-naturedly. “What if she’s right?”

[davidwarnercorner]

Hostile Takeover (1988), starring David Warner, Kate Vernon, Michael Ironside, Jayne Eastwood, and Will Lyman (Youtube Link).

This is the first obscure David Warner movie I'm reviewing! Not the first one I've watched, but the one that made the biggest impression on me so far. I genuinely liked it and would recommend it (the only downside is that the only versions I can find online are VHS rips with not the highest video quality).

The premise: Eugene Brackin (David Warner), a disaffected, repressed office worker at a local power plant, takes three of his coworkers—Larry Gaylord (Michael Ironside), Sally Laird (Kate Vernon), and Joan Talmudge (Jayne Eastwood)—hostage, but makes no specific demands. Outside, local police chief Smolen (Will Lyman) tries to diffuse the situation without resorting to violence.

The sets are limited: most of the action takes place either in the office or just outside of it (it would probably make for a good stage adaption). Hostile Takeover is a character driven story about what it takes for someone to crack and what happens when they do. It engages with ideas about modernity, alienation, and longing; interwoven throughout are references to the T.S. Eliot poems "The Hollow Men" and "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" (and maybe others that I didn't pick up on). Whatever you make of it, this movie was trying to say something about modern life.

(More under the cut because this gets long. Spoilers below.)

Reviews

Reviews for Hostile Takeover are mixed, but I'm going to defend it a bit. Is it a perfect movie? No. But I think the experience suffers if you come into it with the idea that this is a true horror film, when really it's a psychological thriller. There are two brief scenes where there's a lot of dramatic blood, but those make up maybe half a minute of the total 90. There are tense, suspenseful moments, but I'm quite a coward when it comes to horror and this didn't bother me.

A lot of other online reviews call it a "Thanksgiving horror movie," and I'm not sure how this category got attached to it. It came out in December 1988, so it can't be based on release date, and Thanksgiving is never mentioned, we only see that it's autumn. Maybe it's because the movie was released in some countries under the title Office Party and the fact that it starts on a day when people would normally be out of office, like for a holiday (admittedly, I thought it was just a weekend).

Characters

All the central characters in this are interesting in their own ways and get their own moments of backstory, but the ones I want to talk about most are Eugene, Sally, and Smolen.

Eugene - a man who is frustrated enough to take his coworkers hostage but also polite enough to demand that the police bring dinner for them and repeatedly says he doesn't want to actually hurt anyone. David excels at playing characters that are a bit angsty and not quite satisfied with themselves, and Eugene fits that mold.

We're never explicitly told why he did what he did, but it's not that hard to infer. Eugene is a shy middle-aged man who lives alone in a tiny apartment, has nothing better to do than come in to his meager-paying job on an off day, and is maybe a little infatuated with his younger female coworker but is too restrained (and too self-conscious?) to pursue her even when she shows interest. He seemingly followed the "right" path for the 20th-century man and yet still feels his life is hollow. He insists that he's not a crazy, "psycho-type," he only wants to be perceived that way so he'll be sent to a hospital in the end, presumably because he wants to escape it all.

I wouldn't pick up a gun about it, but I can understand his despair. The loneliness and alienation he feels (and, on the other hand, the obsession some of his other coworkers have with money and power) are predictable side effects of the capitalist hellscape we live in.

...Moving away from that, let's talk about how hot David is in this. Some of that may be down to my personal preferences: I'm a sucker for stressed-out businessmen and the role that made me notice him for the first time was Sark/Ed Dillinger in TRON. But here...the suspenders with the gun holster. Him walking around with his tie loose. Being 1988, he'd started going grey and late 80s-early 90s David is peak dilf for me, the silver streaks in his bangs and at the temples make me feral. It's no wonder the next character, Sally, wanted him.

Sally - some Letterboxd reviews were very negative to Sally, saying that she's actually the most unsympathetic character and that she manipulates and seduces Eugene. I disagree, though I may be biased because if I were in her situation, I'd probably (want to) act the same. Textually, though, I think there is some support for my interpretation.

In her introductory scene, we see her walk into the office and immediately flirt with him. It didn't seem like she was doing it to mock him—she's also the only one (I think?) to call him "Gene" instead of his full name, which implies some fondness. We later learn that Sally is attracted to power, and she comments about how powerful Eugene is in his newfound position as hostage-taker, but let's remember that she was interested in him from her first scene, before there was any hint of anything being different that day. We also see that she previously attempted to "sleep her way to the top," but that it didn't work for her and she's bitter about the whole thing.

People also seem to think her affection towards him was just in service of self-preservation, but by the end she doesn't even seem to care about that anymore. She says to him, "you can still get away if you use me as a shield...you're loving and honest and kind, you don't have to die for this, Gene!". You could argue it's some kind of Stockholm Syndrome situation, but imo she seems to be basing this on experience beyond just the last two days spent in the office.

Also, like, is it really so hard to believe that she might genuinely be into him? Some people are just into dilfs and that's okay! It's normal! Us dilf-fuckers deserve the representation and Sally is great! She hates her asshole boss and wants the old man dick, she's just like me fr.

Unfortunately (spoilers), she doesn't get her tropical beach vacation ending with Gene and instead has to watch him die. And she'll have to live with that memory. It's all the more tragic because there are hints that their relationship could have worked if they had been able to open up to each other under different circumstances. As Smolen says, "what a fuckin' waste."

Smolen - there's more to this guy than initially meets the eye. He looks like the total opposite of Eugene, a stereotypical jock, but as the story progresses, parallels are drawn between the two. Someone even accuses him of holding the rest of the police force hostage because he won't let them go in guns blazing. He also takes the time to try to understand Eugene; he's the one who figures out the poetry connection. Eventually (spoilers), he ends up being the one to kill him and, though this is probably an artifact of the bad VHS quality, it looked like there was a trickle of blood running down his own forehead. In the end, both of them were forced into violence they didn't want.

Connections

Random connections I made while watching the movie, kind of like a trivia/fun facts section I guess?

Eugene reminded me a lot of D.B. Cooper. All these years later, we still don't know who he really was or why he hijacked that 727 on Nov. 24, 1971 (now that'd be a Thanksgiving movie!). What we do know was that he was middle-aged, polite to the crew, and had an unspecified "grudge."

One of the T.S. Eliot poems the movie references is "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," a stanza of which goes like this:

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be; Am an attendant lord, one that will do To swell a progress, start a scene or two, Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool, Deferential, glad to be of use, Politic, cautious, and meticulous; Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse; At times, indeed, almost ridiculous— Almost, at times, the Fool.

This part is not quoted in the movie, but it hit me kind of hard considering this context: David played Hamlet on stage in 1965, but it'd been almost 25 years since then when Hostile Takeover was made, and he was in the middle of being in a bunch of random B-movies. It also makes me think of when he was asked, around the time TRON came out, about playing so many villain roles and what he'd like to be in next, and he said something like "I'd like a romantic comedy." And then he...didn't get that? Ever? At least not as a lead. I...yeah. He does at least get the girl in this one! Briefly!

Conclusion

Should you watch this movie if you're a David Warner liker? Definitely. Should you watch this movie otherwise? At least give it a try. I didn't know where else to mention it but the soundtrack also stood out to me, it's very 80s but still good. The way they incorporated the popping and clanging sounds the heaters inside the building make into the music...banger.

I'll be posting some gifs from the movie soon. If you do watch this, or have watched it, please let me know what you thought....am I getting it all wrong? Are you team Sally?

Youtube Link Here. This is to a different or upscaled version than the one I watched. I only found it after I took all the screenshots and did all the gifs. My loss is your gain...?

[tales-from-nocturnaliss]

Happy Blorbo Blursday from the Creators Club. Does your character miss anyone? Why do they miss this person? What would they be willing to do to see them again?

Oh well I kinda covered this over here without meaning to <<

So to give more context because it's both wholesome but also look away if you have any age gap triggers, Devon has been essentially this... presence in an important bloodline of the world. His first memory was Sorasiehn, whom he spent centuries with, and I discovered over time just how absolutely *core memory* this dysfunctional, never-defined relationship was. To the point that, when she died abruptly (unnatural death), he had to essentially shove all of the memories aside just to survive.

And went back to her home village, where he looked after Sorasiehn's daughter, Nefahtil, once she herself came back home (there's really too much context to give, bear with me that I shorten). Where things got tricky and um spiraled a bit is when Nefahtil had a daughter. A beautiful, gentle little soul with a power of her own, like her ancestors. Hers was a power of manipulation of the mind. A power she ended up not controling, as she didn't realize it essentially leaked from her.

Where it gets iffy and heartbreaking and I decide today I wanna talk about it, is that her power manipulated Devon's emotions. Not intentionally. But, as she grew older, into a young mature woman (I cannot stress her adultness enough), the fatherly feelings he had for her twisted into something wrong born from the buried feelings for Sorasiehn. Leading to Devon just... thinking he was in love, when his love was actually for Sorasiehn.

Before you scream at me in outrage: no, nothing happened. The man has some never-remembered trauma that makes intimacy for him impossible (thank fuck for that I say), and the fact of the matter is that, twisted as his feelings were, they were still nothing like the feelings he had for Sorasiehn (which I have been exploring since it was brought up to me that he sounded like something he's not, which hurt, buuuuuut led me to SO MANY FEELS about he and Sorasiehn that I am grateful for the pain now long gone). As said: twisted.

And it is this twisted nature of feelings that made him miss Selessannea with a blind madness completely unlike himself. That made him pursue necromancers and kill them mercilessly, lost in the grief of having watched her wither and die for a man he believed didn't love her (but, that man did, Devon simply couldn't/wouldn't see it). And all of this is *why* he missed Selessannea like a crazy man... because he was, in essence, crazy.

Now. Obviously, there was nothing he could've given or done to see her again, save to die - and even so. But, centuries later, he does encounter a true lethal creature who plays with his mind, too, and brings out all the actual grief but also anger he held for Selessannea, and twists that withering last image into an image of him killing her. Which I mention because it twisted things back into a sense of growing order. Snapped the twisted feelings back into their righful place, leaving room for different feelings to emerge. Different memories. Memories of Sorasiehn.

Where I'm at currently, he's not remembering Sorasiehn clearly yet, but he also doesn't miss Selessannea as he used to. The feelings have stabilized, righted themselves enough that I can feel relief. But ohhhh once he remembers her? Well, as I've seen in an AU with a close friend, the memory of Sorasiehn will be like death. It will be terrible. Devastating. Shred his heart to pieces and leave nothing standing.

And her, he will miss because he truly, genuinely, did love her, as she loved him, though neither of them ever defined these feelings, nor accepted them, nor acknowledged them. They lived side by side, vampire man and warrior elf, he proudly devoted and she fierce and cold, but oh how they cared about one another. For her, he would be willing to give anything to hold her again, just one more time.

[spideronthesun]

Hi again!

You've mentioned your love of folklore (which I also love!). What folklore inspired you to write your WIP, and which ones (if any!) would you love you have included but couldn't?

@mrbexwrites (in my incognito mode- and not because I don't know how to change blogs when I'm asking asks!!)

Hi!!

Okay, that's a very interesting question.

My story is inspired by Baltic-Lithuanian mythology.

Growing up, we did learn some of the stories like Egle the Serpent Queen. That one I found always to be chaotic, and I could never understand how a human could fall in love with a serpent. Plus, she was sort of forced to marry him. In classes, it always drove me crazy.

I was around 22, when I first started working on a first draft of what later came to be Tales of the Oak and Lightning. My characters were absolutely different from each other, and the story was set somewhere in a fictional town in England.

Edvardas and Danielius, as you know them now, didn't even exist. Nikolas and Adamas were the complete opposite of their current personalities. Only poor Robertas somewhat remained himself and didn't go through that much transformation.

I didn't know that much about writing, but I only knew that's what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and I queried it to a few smaller imprints. I lacked a lot of knowledge about the industry, but I also didn't really have anyone to sit with me, and patiently answer all my questions. And I was too afraid to ask them, anyways.

Not sure how long I waited for the response. Maybe a month, maybe a bit longer, but here arrived the first one, and that was a very long and elaborate feedback. It was the first time when I received any closest semblance to the feedback from someone.

It wasn't good. I'd not use the word terrible, but it didn't make me happy. Like I said, I knew nothing about the writing back then, except the fact that this is what I loved to do. And only that I loved to read.

"Everyone is already writing so many stories set in England, and since you are from Lithuania, why wouldn't you write something closer to your culture? It'd be a lot more interesting to read."

My first initial reaction was, "huh? Who would even want to read that?". But it stuck with me.

I began studying my country's folklore, read a vast literature, and I realized how little I know about our traditions. I was born there, and lived my entire life there, but I barely know anything about where I come from. It really helped to ignite something in me.

There were so many things that I didn't know, and I don't think that I have even come across yet. A lot of it is gone with our ancestors, who are no longer with us.

Even if you googled to read up on our mythology. You will probably find a lot of different people studying it, and all of them having a different version of what transpired. As well as different takes on the gods and nature deities here.

And even bigger information as Paganism was eradicated by the time Christianity came to Lithuania in the 14th century. There's so much that we will never find out about, and we can only guess.

It makes me sad how this side is completely forgotten, and it's no longer passed down from one generation to another. I don't think that anything will remain from it in the next 50 years.

As for the other mythologies, I don't really have favorites, as I love to get to know other cultures. I think that each culture has something beautiful in their folklore, and I am just happy that we live in a world where we can share that with each other.

[lost-technology]

My brain's been chewing on a weird, small worldbuilding-tidbit that I was thinking of having a passing mention of in a '98 based fanfic. The idea applies to all, though. So, I've been seeing some youtube videos and arguments regarding religion and the usual rhetoric that "as societies modernize, religion goes away" and the old idea that "one day, religion will be nothing more than a curious relic." I disagree with this. I'm a little freak who retains spirituality even though I reject most of the dogma I used to adhere to. I think there are more people like this than advertised. It also annoys me because, historically, how many CENTURIES have people been saying this? Philosophers in the 1800s, I think even some in the 1700's were so utterly SURE that in the future nobody would be religious anymore - yet, here we are. Like it or not, it's still...a thing. Anyway, people have been waiting for and assuming the Pure Secularist Future for frickin' ever and making assumptions about sci-fi universes. "What does God need with a starship?" and all that. Meanwhile, in TRIGUN, which does things differently, one of the main-catalyst characters, the protagonist's beloved mommy openly talks about believing that her dead boyfriend is in Heaven and refers to her birthed-from-a-human-created species children as "angels" or being "like angels." Plant-engineers in the manga refer to Plants as "having the appearance of the messengers of God." Anyway, the main thing is, here is Rem, a scientist who lives on a spaceship occasionally throws out Christianese in everyday speech. (I don't remember her doing such in the manga), but in '98 and Stampede, it's there when I'm pretty sure that some of the youtubers I've watched recently would think she probably shouldn't be on a space-science team because "300 years from now, people like her won't exist." Or if they do, they should be barred from science due to "being crazy." It got me thinking, what if there's a social turn-around in the Trigun universe? What if the creation of the Plants and the discovery that they pull things from "a higher dimension" actually revives spiritual impulse in human society? Maybe there's not any particular controlling dogma that anyone adheres to anymore during the spacefaring age, but maybe it is not uncommon at all for people to believe in "God," or in "Heaven" or the concept of angelic beings because, well, here are creatures that contact a mysterious, unknowable dimension and essentially do supernatural feats. I mean, it's RIGHT THERE, so maybe it's not considered "unscientific" to have a spiritual lean anymore. Just food for thought... because Rem likes talking about angels and ISN'T looked at strangely for it or told to "be more rational." Maybe at that point in time, viewpoints like hers are considered the most rational thing in the universe.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Your Marius playlist is so good ‼️‼️‼️🫢I never would have thought of wardruna and heilung for him but it’s perfect 100/10

dgdsgaklsd thank you !!!!!!!!! I'm really excited that you like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Marius playlist if anyone is curious (: )

Sometimes people think I'm crazy because I don't really hear lyrics when I listen to music so all my playlists are built on VIBES ONLY. Marius playlist is like: Music That Could Be the Score of an Existential Crisis When You've Lived in Centuries of Darkness and Also Have Trauma From That Time You Were Murdered By a Pagan Cult. Any time I'm listening to music in the wild and I hear this vibe, it gets dropped into this playlist, regardless of lyrical content LOL.

The neofolk half of it speaks for itself, I think. I've also written meta about how I think black metal feels tonally appropriate for the Ancients. And like neofolk is one of those genres where like, so many of the fans are metalheads LOL. (I mean i got into Wardruna because of Gaahl haha it started there). And like I absolutely lose my mind over like pagan black metal/blackened folk metal where they bring in all the historical instrumentation into the metal like HJDKALGDS THE TEXTURE, I DIE, it's my fav genre of music. And it's just so incredibly bleak, but also so patient. It feels so heavy and existential and full of dread!!!!!!!! 😍 And thinking in a vampire context it's like ANCIENT OLD TRAUMA!!!! Bad memories from CENTURIES AGO. Idk man it just feels so good.

It's frustrating because like all the EXTREMELY SPOOKY ANCIENT MOOD MUSIC tends to be Nordic and I wish I could find some what had more Italian influence (this is a thinly veiled rec request if anyone has any) because every time I do go down the rabbithole and look for Italian neofolk it isn't what I'm looking for. I need like that deep terrifying Wardruna sound you know? It's gotta be out there, I will keep searching!!!!!!!!!!

There's some Balkan & Greek bands in there which are so great (Negură Bunget & Rotting Christ lol) and I have to go back and drop in more Karl Sanders for Akasha vibes lol. There are some really cool Middle Eastern metal bands too that use cool instrumentation (thinking of Melechesh) but they're not gloomy enough LOL. I need to go take a stroll and see if I can find some spooky stuff. And there's some really great Greek pagan/folk which probably is similar to what I'm trying to find but I'm looking for like the more neofolky half, like I need Greek Wardruna LOL.

But I really love most genres of music as long as it's gloomy and like the overlap of neofolk with pagan/black metal is like the perfect type of gloomy for me hasdkjga AND LIKE WHEN IM DAYDREAMING ABOUT MARIUS IT FEELS REALLY GOOD BECAUSE THE SOUNDS FEEL SO ANCIENT. And bands like Wardruna and Heilung give me so many God of the Grove feelings it just makes me think about the cult trauma. 🍿 (even if the regions are a little inaccurate please let me live, I'm doing my best with what I can find.)

[faerywhimsy]

Hello, I would like to linger on the topic of Armand and love in (primarily) the setting of TVL.

"What do we have now! Answer me! Nothing but the love of each other and what can that mean to creatures like us!"

Working backwards for a hot minute, this is the last appearance we have from Armand in The Vampire Lestat. It comes immediately before Armand tosses Lestat out of the very tower Lestat so graciously gifted to him.

Symbolism? Oh my heart, I lived for this sort of stuff during my English degree.

Anyone who's read a single page of TVC knows that love is pretty much prized above all things in the world of these vampires. It's... pretty much the only thing all of them by some unspoken agreement seem to hold dear. Even Rhoshamandes (one of many scions of Akasha) from the Prince Lestat at least appears to gain something from the affection between him and his fledgling Benedict. But I'm definitely getting ahead of myself.

Sorry guys, strap in if you wanna. This is gonna be another long meta post.

To go from the end right back to the beginning, something about Lestat does seem to bring Armand back to 'life'. And, in response, just the sight of him makes Lestat gasp. Armand is "perfect", "dazzling", "incarnate beauty". His voice is "teasing", his eyes are "fathomless". I've read bodice rippers with prose less purple than this.

Okay, fine, it turns out a lot of this is all a mind fuck from Armand to Lestat but I've already written a longer interpretation of that over here (and thank god because it just wouldn't have fit here). Just because we're seeing Armand's use of the mind gift does not necessarily invalidate some feelings behind it. Armand is one tightly wound, fucked up ball of crazy at this point in the eighteen century, and everything of him this early kinda has to be read through that lens.

All night you've been searching for me, he said, and here I am, waiting for you. I have been waiting for you all along. Dear God, this is love. This is desire. And all my past amours have been but the shadow of this.

Ultimately, Lestat's rejection of Armand after this is pretty brutal. He (correctly) manages to ascertain how much of a threat Armand poses to him, despite their both being of the blood. Later he even marvels at how he was able to overcome Armand in the brutal beating that followed. (My personal head canon is simple: Armand let him).

Yet still, Armand asks to be loved by Lestat and, thereafter, begs Lestat to be allowed to travel with he and Gabrielle. So when you read the disavow of love Armand makes—after Lestat has left him and returned to him, only to promise to leave him once more—it feels pretty clear Lestat went and fucked Armand all up and down. (I also wanna mention that meta post I think about often and is basically my head canon, on Armand's PoV in The Vampire Armand that shows him again rebounding hard in the wake of being rejected yet again. Let's face it, this is realistically an immutable part of Armand's character.)

How much of an impact did Lestat's rejection of Armand have? Allow me to put it this way: It takes him almost two hundred years for Armand to find his heart again after Lestat, but no more than forty years after Daniel before he finds some solace and makes house with Louis in Trinity Gate (kinda important to me to make this point given the consensus in fanon is Daniel is Armand's great love story).

Finally, there's a part of me that can't help but wonder how things might have gone differently, had Lestat not brashly come back with impossible demands of Armand. Would Armand have been capable of forgiving Lestat if he hadn't come talking about how little he actually needed Armand after he used Armand for a draught of his healing blood?

When Lestat first sees him again, he uses such words as "brilliant light burning in him", "thinly veiled excitement", "caressingly", "soft and compassionately" to describe Armand's attention. This is moments before Lestat goes off at the mouth.

And... just... damn, man. Maybe it would have been best to face Marius and his measly "condemnation" is all I'm saying. At least Marius wasn't in love and the worst he (probably??) would have done was turn his back on Lestat. No wonder, honestly. These are all immortal blood drinkers we're talking about, not a high end wine tasting.

[pesterloglog]

Jane Crocker, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 5815-5819

GG: Is everything ok?

TG: yeah he just wanted to make sure i dont hate him like yall do which you dont even

GG: I... see.

TG: so im just talking to him a bit to help him not feel bad

TG: sorry

GG: That's ok.

GG: You were saying?

TG: i was gonna say why i finally quit drinkin

TG: i mean if you want to know

GG: Yes.

GG: Actually, once you did stop, it made me finally realize it was a problem for you for a long time.

GG: And I didn't say anything at the time, but it made me wonder if I wasn't doing the right thing before.

GG: By failing to point out you might have a problem? Or just going along with it and participating in lively banter any time you clearly had too much to drink?

GG: Was I just being a bad friend?

TG: nah it wasnt your responsibility to fix my shit

TG: and anyway i think i made it hard for anyone to come at me like it was a real problem

TG: i was always joking around so much and havin a good time like kind of overzealously so

TG: that i probably just made people feel like a shitty wet blanket for even mentioning it

GG: How long do you think it's been a problem?

TG: i dont know its hard to say exactly when i started getting real carried away

TG: just at some point i discovered a load of my moms centurys old booze in the house

TG: and i didnt have much to relate to her by except her books

TG: so i felt like drinking was a way to be more like her

TG: or be closer to her kinda

TG: and there was nobody around except the silly chess people

TG: who in a way just made me feel more alone

TG: cause they reminded me i was only one of two humans left and the other was an ocean away

TG: so little by little

TG: i got out of hand

TG: and one of the only things i had to look forward to was the idea that the game was supposed to be able to bring my mom back

TG: assuming i even decided to help the batterwitch out by playing at all

GG: But it turned out you couldn't bring her back. At least not the way you thought.

GG: So what was it that made you finally decide to give it up?

TG: well

TG: thats pretty much what it was

TG: when i first went to lopan i saw my sprite there

TG: so i got out my bottle of momslime and was all ready for the bestest most poignant reunion ever

TG: and thats when the juggalo struck

TG: and i just knew the witch had fucked me over AGAIN

TG: cause what other hag is insane enough to get juggalos to do her dirty biz nigh exclusively???

TG: NO HAGS BUT HER

TG: and i was so pissed and so distraught about that goddamn clown squandering my sprite

TG: so i got crazy drunk and felt the super sorriest for myself i ever did

TG: but little did i know there would be a lovely silver lining to the debacle

GG: Dear, sweet, precious Fefeta!

TG: :3

TG: she became a great friend

TG: and whats more was she told me not to worry

TG: that my mom would be comin anyway and all i had to do was wait a while

TG: and i believed her cause she knew stuff + was THA BEST

TG: so thats when i decided to clean up my act

TG: i didnt want her to meet a sloppy embarrassing mess of a daughter

TG: even if she did like to drink at some point it was kind of a childish idea that doing so myself would make me closer to her or help us bond or whatever

TG: anyway i think i might of overestimated her drinkin habits

TG: she sure didnt look like no drunk

TG: oh!

TG: jane did i mention

TG: i saw her in a dream today!

GG: No!

TG: shes real young tho

TG: like our age

TG: and she looks so pretty and happy

TG: not like a girl w booze challenges

TG: i think her fav color must be orange just like dirk

TG: she was wearin the same sunny orange nighty deal i caught a glimpse of her in v briefly another time

TG: and oh...

TG: she also called me mom?

GG: Huh?

TG: huh is right

TG: u know im really not sure if shes actually my mom

TG: but i do know were totes genetically related somehow

TG: i just think theres more to it than we know

GG: I guess we'll find out!

GG: Whoa...

GG: The whole place was shaking for a moment there.

TG: wut

[martieshub]

God, If everything else could be this easy, they'd win at life or something. This was a shitty situation turned cordial turned safe as long as nothing was brought up about their personal relationship. That was how it needed to be and how it was supposed to be. Neither one to ever talk about it again. But, life had a funny way of willing things when the people didn't want it to. But he was stubborn, born with it. Came out screaming alerting the world that no he was not going to play by its rules.

So, here he was focusing on something else. Laughing he nodded his head as his tongue swiped over his bottom lip to wet it a little. ❛Can you imagine if there's a prize for being the most horrible to a dog? We've got other dumb awards why not one for worst human being on the planet? ❜ The question was ridiculous he knew that but didn't really think Laurel would mind. She'd been on the receiving end of these questions before.

❛Roswell Inn. Kind of disappointing I know but there is an Area 51 just south of our hotel. If you're up for a late night adventure we can head down there. Unless you're afraid of getting probed. ❜ It was too easy to make that joke. That felt like old times. The other easy thing was when he could clock in her facial expressions. She was easily readable unlike him. And boy did he know that but still hadn't done a thing to change that about himself. ❛I think that is the point though. If I was an author I'd pick the most random parts of the world to live in. Probably makes it better to continue writing. Getting inspired by the small town aspect. Added bonus is living in such a kitschy place. ❜ He had never met a writer before so this was just from his own speculative mind.

He nodded and laughed. ❛You say it like that and it sounds it's been centuries. Rookie year was a mess but also I remembered some so that counts. If I said you did, I'd be a liar. ❜ His smile was sincere. The guy wasn't blind either but that was beside the point. Laurel had a sunshine way about her that would warm up the coldest of hearts. Not to mention her tenacity to be there for someone no matter what. ❛I mean, I don't know about trusting but I guess I like to make an educated decision before I go running my mouth. I blame my mother who taught us to think before we spoke. Though, I am glad that people don't automatically think of me as FBI. If they did I probably would be settling myself under a rock. ❜

Eyebrows knitted together at the mention of being stubborn. While it wouldn't have hurt as much if anyone else said it, coming from Laurel, it stung more than anything because she was right. He was stubborn and one of the main causes of their ruptured relationship. That couldn't be denied as much as he wanted to. ❛Maybe you'll have better luck this time around. ❜ Was that about this or about them. That one was still to be figured out. ❛You're on. Shake on it. This is gonna be the best bet I'll win in the history of bets. ❜

❛mhmm that's what you say now. ❜ He teased banking on her reaction being wildly different than his was. ❛It took me a long time for me to process things and an even longer time trying to figure out if I'd gone crazy. ❜ He knew she'd be game but also wanted to make sure she was informed before deciding to help. She still had time to opt out. ❛Would you be willing to omit things from the reports? If it came down to it? ❜

Her mind was working overtime to remain focused on work. It hadn't been this difficult to do that since she realized that they were assigned in the same unit. It was a gut punch, one that eventually just ached, like an old bruise that only made itself known when you breathed a certain way. It was easier to be around him when she didn't have to sit with a new puzzle each week. Solve a few pieces, and just when she began understanding a bit more, she'd receive a new puzzle. Laurel simply never got far in the 'getting Eli to open up' game. Yet, if she gave that some thought, giving up on him was one of her biggest regrets. Sometimes, she felt brave enough to mention it - sorry it all kind of went to shit, but the thought of risking their work relationship didn't seem worth dragging up the past. ❛That's what I was thinking, poor dog getting evicted, but nope. No need to do any of that.❜ Laurel hummed in consideration, ❛fair enough, let's not poke that bear.❜

❛Ooh, that's exciting. I can't wait to see it, I'm sure we'll get a goodnight's rest after all our activities. Does the place have an interesting name like this crash down cafe?❜ Her gaze drifted briefly to their surroundings, just a habit, before her attention turned back to him. Her smile mirrored his as he talked about her favorite author living here. There was a lot of determination to not be impressed that he still remembered those small details. Then again, she could just chalk it up to the steel trap that was his mind, a good quality for an agent. Sure, that made sense in her mind. ❛Seems like the right choice for an author like her, but that's such a random coincidence that she lives here. See, great minds think alike, about living here. With my good side? So, you think I have a bad side?❜ She half-teased with her question. In reality, it was a very kind offer from him. ❛You got it, we'll add that to the list of things we need to plan on the way back.❜ It was brief, her smile faded just a tiny bit. Logically, Laurel knew the losing streak probably referred to another case or something back in the office. However, her mind had taken her further back. And there was a twinge of sadness making its presence known, though she chose to ignore. ❛All of California is part of this challenge, I like my odds. Losing streak, hey - that's only because you're too stubborn. I'd probably have an easier time convincing the director to paint the building pink before changing your mind.❜

She shook her head slowly, the high risk table. The irony was everywhere in this trip, but she hoped it would subside soon. That was her once upon a time; little by little taming down her old 'fuck it' attitude and her risk-taking ways. Now, she tried thinkings things through more often, analyzing situations with a closer lens before making a decision. ❛Maybe you can change my mind about the high risk table,❜ a mischievous smile drawn on her lips as she used his own words. As Eli spoke, she focused once more, leaving all jokes and teasing aside. It was rare to navigate those lines together. She was only slightly surprised that, with the conversation steering away from work, they hadn't found something to fight about already. Laurel listened intently as he explained who Jim was and what the connection to Roswell was. ❛I see, from your rookie year? So, this is really a blast from the past. Well, not trusting the FBI, he wouldn't be the first, but you do have a more have a more trusting vibe about you.❜ It was heartwarming that he saw his son in Eli, but also sad that his son was thought to be dead, up until recently. Her mind was racing, trying to process the information as he spoke. Laurel almost didn't notice the waitress until the drink was set down in front of him. There was a moment of silence when he asked her to promise. What exactly did he mean by not freaking out? Because she was still a few minutes behind processing the experiments from earlier. ❛I admit that it's a lot to process, but I promise I won't freak out. I'll even pinky promise if needed. Well I'll try, but just know, that I'm willing to help out any way I can. Whatever you need, I'm here.❜

It was easy to promise, but frankly, Laurel was still trying to sort her thoughts and feelings on everything shared. Still, she didn't want him to think she couldn't be trusted with this case. Despite her personal interest in the subject, she could still be a professional. So Laurel would keep it together, help where needed and then, just keep her mouth shut.

[magnusbae]

okay but (about your tags on cuubism's post about hob not being special for being immortal) i feel like hob's optimism ISN'T super special, either. like... hate to say this but the majority of the world isn't sad all the time? at least not in my experience, i mean. like, in stories and to a lesser degree online, there's this very pessimistic outlook that's become the norm, and so when we see hob not becoming pessimistic, we think that's special, that's unique, that's surprising. but... idk, maybe i'm naive about this, but i feel like most people DON'T feel sad and bitter about life. it's not just that most people don't want to die, it's that most people find joy in things. most people can laugh. most people can be happy. hob just has the opportunity to do that on a longer scale than anyone else. he's unique for having that chance, not for taking it.

i feel like that's part of what makes hob such an interesting foil for dream. because dream is exceptional. he is special. he is everyone's dreams, everywhere; he is powerful beyond imagining. which is why i LOVE dreamling: hob is a completely normal guy who dream can look at and understand that life is good. people are happy. dream can be happy, too.

(it's dream's unique depression vs. hob's everyday positivity that gets me asldkfjhaskdjfhs)

anyway i haven't even seen the show or read the comics so like. take this with a grain of salt. but i really like the idea of hob as just a completely normal person who was lucky enough to be overheard by death at just the right time.

(Ref Post) Now see, let's start from the fact that in fanon, you're allowed to experience the ship in any way you personally enjoy. Many people genuinely love and prefer seeing Hob as absolutely normal guy versus Dream's sepernatual status.

If we discuss our philosophies in general about real people, I'd agree with you that generally on the internet, or more specifically on tumblr, a pessimistic outlook on things in the norm.

However in your example you had omitted a few key points. You've given the average person's day to day life as an example to people who are happy and generally optimistic. You do not take into account the events Hob had went through: pandemic on large and horrifying scale, battlefields, murders and starvation. Then even on a more radical scale, losing his wife and both his children, being drowned alive but unable to die from it (which is torture on a scale human's can't understand) being the only being of his kind aside from a stranger he meets once a century (alienation and loneliness) etc etc

Now those are not precisely your day to day experiences that most non-tumblr people would be cheerfully okay with, yes?

Most normally people would struggle to live with even one of those events, now, consider the fact, Hob lives with ALL of those events with little to no change to his personality, outlook on life and general functionality.

That is not your average human behaviour, simply aint.

Some people enjoy seeing Hob as 100% normal, some people like me, enjoy seeing Hob as batshit crazy too >:D

Like, yes, near Dream of the Endless, almost anyone, supernatural or not, would seem rather dull and normal, and it does not take away from the reality of things, Hob is still human, Hob is still RATHER normal near Dream.

But if you take Dream away from the equitation, and inspect Hob solely as an individual character, he is far from being normal.

By all means, he'd be considered the demigod of the story if other gods/endless were not introduced.

A character who does not age, die and who has no payment to pay for his boon, no secret Achilles' heel? Who lives century after century without allowing anything change who he is the core? (for better of worse he stays generally true to himself) like, frankly, that's not normal.

TLTR while I agree with you that tumblr's outlook on life is rather gloomy and most folk wouldn't be this blue, I would also say that most people would have severe reaction to trauma and loss, and wouldn't be able to carry repeated trauma through decades and centuries.